#and 'you'll be okay someday' songs

[mmoodd-jobutupaki]

Vampire,

Teenage Dream (by Olivia Rodrigo)

and

Letter to my 13 year old self by Laufey

Are doing something to my heart and I'm not liking it

[yridenergyridenergy]

The melancholic futility of sukekiyo song endings

After hearing "Kyou mo" (today again/today too) often at the end of sukekiyo's songs, I picked up a broader pattern in Kyo's lyrics for his second band. The recurring theme is that these mini-stories end in vain, sorrowful. Even the line that seems the most positive in the list above, "it's a beautiful morning again today", sounds filled with despair, envy for others who will get to enjoy that day, but within, it isn't so sunny. It's like an objective observation that you can't relate to.

You wish for love, you naively wish for better, but the past fades into the future unrelently. You poured your heart out, but nothing changes. You can't even forget: you're conscious during this continuous nightmare.

Anyway, I'll cheer you up with more positive content soon after this, but I wanted to share this interesting observation with you. Here is the list of lyrics and the songs that they were taken from, if you're curious:

The sadness will never end　For whom? – Kokyuu

I know it's hard to understand You can forget about it if you want – Frameout kara no

Clinging on to the cheap wish that will come true It will be a fine day today – Kawattekuremasen deshou ka?

Please give your love to the me of up until yesterday. – Gloss [I changed this from the official translation a bit, because I didn't agree with "to the me until yesterday", the original meaning wasn't clear enough.]

Ah　I want a womb – Kuchi ni Ringo

I wish – Margaret

Even if I want to forget It got broken Deep inside my little heart – Scarlet

To the next guy, is it okay to love you? – Furesaseru

I want love – kisses

You can't change the future – dorothy

Hey, do you love me? – Kimi wa mukidashi

It'll be the same again tomorrow – Kou Mo Chigau Mono Nano Ka, Yousuru ni

I hope you'll let me forget about you someday – Nurebairo

Unable to forget you – Uso

Would you have even loved me if I was not so openly dependent and was just weak? – En

Today too my heart is cold – Valentina

wishing you happiness – zephyr

it's a beautiful morning again today – hidden one

to this child, who hopes for a peaceful future – Mama

as if all is forgotten – Madara Ningen

[mikachacha]

𝚁𝚞𝚕𝚎𝚜 (𝙱𝚊𝚍𝚊 𝙻𝚎𝚎 𝚡 𝙹𝚁! 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛)

Synopsis: You're holding a class for your korean fans for the third time since you came to South Korea along with your team, Jam Republic. You tried to keep it low-key but the other teams decided to visit during one of your classes.

Warnings: suggestive content, Bada and reader being flirty h0es 🤧🤧

(A/N: because @1luvkarina requested it, im gonna do it 🤧🤧 jk it just happened that the pointer landed to her request)

🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸

"You gotta be fucking kidding me right now.." you couldn't believe your eyes at what you're seeing. Almost every participant of Street Woman Fighter has filed in your class that made you feel a bit nervous because out of all classes, they really had to watch you teach this one where you're going for a sexual dance.

"Is she gonna dance in heels?" Lusher asked as she saw you preparing. She noticed you wearing high heels and Bada looked as well. You're definitely wearing heels while teaching.

"Damn.. She looks hot in that one.." they could hear other teams comment as the class finally started. You were great, you made sure that everyone was enjoying themselves and making sure that none was left behind. You'd slow down if necessary or repeat the steps which Bada found quite endearing. Some of the girls decided to join your class but Bada just kept watching, entranced at your movements.

When it was finally time to perform the song, it felt like Bada could just pass away there on the spot. You looked so sexy and confident and just everything. Bada could list off everything great about you right there and then but she absolutely died when you looked straight at her when the line, “do I make you horny, baby” came in. Bada's face went completely red as you openly teased her during your classes.

"Bada-unnie looks like a tomato right now.." Kyma commented as she saw their leader going red in the face while watching you dance. The other girls momentarily stopped to look at Bada then at you who's been teasing Bada the whole time, now understanding why the taller girl is blushing.

Bada could swear you'll be the death of her someday. It was clear that both of you are into each other but for the sake of the competition, you held off. But then seeing her in your class today made you want to tease her because your love language is teasing the people you like even if it bites you in the ass afterwards.

"May we request Lee Bada to join Y/N at the front?" Latrice called out after you just finished dancing and you looked at her then your team who were all sporting big, mischievous grin while looking at you. The other teams were laughing at the seemingly betrayal of your team towards you while team Bebe had to drag their leader up front.

"Ya! I thought we were competitors but why are you teaming up against us?" Bada playfully complained and the room was filled with laughter. You looked at Bada and the others. Your confidence has deflated a lot because your crush is right beside you. You're okay with her being a few feet away but right beside you and about to dance with you? You just wanted to crawl under a rock and stay there.

"Guys I seriously can't do this.. With the infamous Lee Bada? You guys are seriously wishing for me to pass out.." you said dramatically and Bada just shook her head in pure amusement.

"Dance or we're leaking the group chat!" It was Emma who yelled and you gasped, looking at your teammate before telling your sound guy to start playing the song once more. You don't want to get your ass exposed to yes, you're gonna dance with Bada right in front of everyone.

Everyone was left mesmerized at how perfect you and Bada looked while dancing together. Her movements were a bit cooler but yours is sultry. There was cheering and whistling but that didn't really matter to you. To be this close and dancing with Bada, your dreams are coming true. You really admire her, well maybe more on the romantic side rather than on the dancing side. You and Bada flirted a lot while dancing, especially on the most sensual parts, she added her own moves while you improvised some. Since everyone's supporting your gay crush on Bada, might as well go all the way.

When the song ended, you planted a kiss on the side of her lips that made her blush so much that she had to cover her face in an attempt to calm down. The others clapped and cheered for you and Bada before you pulled her to the sides so your students can have their time to shine as well as the other girls from the competition who thoroughly enjoyed your choreography.

"I'll wait for you at the parking lot later. You and me, we're going out on a date." Bada whispered to you and you looked at her, eyes wide in disbelief. Did Bada just ask you out on a date??

"What? I'm not sure if I heard it correctly." you asked and she just chuckled, moving closer to you and wrapping an arm around your waist.

"I said I'm taking you out on a date. We have so much to discuss." she repeated and you just nodded your head, cheeks red as it finally registered in your mind that Bada is really taking you out after your class ends.

[sharoo]

'Pass On' and the theme of Limbus

So. Canto 6 was finished today.

How we feeling fellas?

After the emotional rollercoaster that was the bittersweet finale, I found myself really focusing on the end credits and the song.

And... I think the thing I kept saying over voice chat to my friends really hit me.

We all know Pass On. Most of us have some favourite version of it. But I... don't think it ever affect me quite as hard until now (even the gorgeous Ishmael rendition of it). And that's pretty understandable - Heath is my favourite Sinner after all.

But this Canto put such emphasis on that theme - the determinism of alternate universes causing you to become your worst self, Heathcliff's upbringing making him think he can never be anything but a vagrant, the tragedy of losing Cathy.

Heathcliff gets to such a hopeless low point he distorts because of it!

Yet... he's brought back. And he shows he can change, that he was always capable of changing, of getting better.

And a part of this was also Heathcliff outright saying that he's not alright. That he's still hurting. But he still decides to fight.

I cannot understate how important to me the dynamic he has with Dante in this Canto is to me, how he shows humility and outright asks them, addressing them as Manager, what he should do because he's lost. How he says their ticking is what keeps him on his path.

And now... the Pass On sequence.

The lyrics of Pass On focus so strongly on a single wish - that you can move on from what hurts you, develop, grow, to the point that, one day, when you look back on your past, you will be able to smile.

Every Sinner who sings it sings it with a different cadence. Sometimes, it's unrealistic hope, sometimes it's a realisation. In Heath's case, it's a repetition of determination, but also allowing himself to grieve.

Because his ending isn't a happy one. He does get closure in learning Cathy's true feelings, but she's gone, and now his goal has changed to returning her to reality somehow, even though he has no guarantee of it or even an idea of how he'll do it. It's bittersweet.

And, after everything he's had to endure that day, all the heartbreak and scorn and self-hatred and rage and loss, he's on the bus, and he sings. Heathcliff does something that breaks my heart - he repeats the final lyric of "It's alright". Every Sinner before has only sung it once. But he sings it, and then pauses, during which time Dante's ticking can be heard, and then he repeats it.

"It's alright."

Limbus Company is a game about how no, things are not okay right now, and we are hurting, an grieving, and despairing, but... things will be okay, someday. You have people who will be there to help you. And maybe, one day, you'll be able to smile about it.

And Pass On is the essence of that.

It's pure, unfiltered hope.

[jiminsfirstlife]

how svt would react to u getting an abortion

tw// abortion, death, domestic violence

seungcheol

"you killed my baby...?"

is mad that u didn't tell him beforehand

always wanted to be a dad and u took that opportunity away from him

breaks up with you

jeonghan

"i mean... it's your choice i guess"

is supportive at first but whenever you get into an argument he will bring it up

"I'M toxic? WELL YOU'RE A MURDERER"

apologises afterwards, but he still brings it up the next time u fight

joshua

"dw babe i'm american... your body your choice"

is very supportive <3

is secretly relieved but would never admit it

jun

"baby you should've told me.. i would've gone to the clinic with u"

is very gentle with u for the next few weeks

will make ur food and help u bathe so u can relax and focus on regaining ur health <3

hoshi

"oh... baby i'm so sorry. we can try again"

thinks u had a miscarriage

wonwoo

"oh"

pauses his game while you talk about your abortion

"...is that all?"

returns to his game

woozi

"ah... can i use this for our new album?"

makes u write down the abortion process so he can "get in the mind of a woman" to make his song more "authentic"

minghao

"you were pregnant? i did notice that you gained weight..."

is insensitive at first but tries to be understanding

"it's fine. i actually just read a book about feminism. your body your choice"

mingyu

"huh? you... killed it?"

claims that abortion is murder

doesn't break up with you, but he gets scared whenever you raise your voice at him

"i'm scared you'll kill me next..."

dokyeom

"are you okay? do you feel sick? just take it easy, okay?

wants to have children someday but understands that u weren't ready

cries because "you've suffered so much..."

seungkwan

"i wondered why you've been acting like such a bitch"

doesn't care about the baby, but he uses it as a reason to argue

"you didn't think i deserved to know? that was my baby, too."

vernon

"oh. okay. cool"

wants to be an ally but actually comes across as insensitive

"i mean, it's just a bunch of cells, right?"

forgets to ask if you were okay

dino

"ah... i'm sorry for impregnating you. i'll be more careful in the future, okay?"

thinks it's his fault

is relieved though bc he's "too young to be a dad"

immediately goes to the store and comes back with condoms

"look at what i bought, y/n! 😄"

[serafilms]

song 4! sweeter than fiction (taylor swift) + remus lupin (spotify wrapped event)

seen you lost in a crowd, seen your colours fade, wish i could make it better, someday you won’t remember, this pain you thought would last forever and ever

The air was cold last night. You feel it when you open your window and the breeze pierces your skin, your mouth twisting into a frown. This isn’t good for Remus, whose body temperature is high enough as a human, and even higher as a wolf. He would have been freezing last night. And very agitated.

Scanning the grounds you can see from your window, you don’t see the telltale werewolf or his three companions. It’s still early morning, but you know that he usually returns around now. Madam Pomfrey must already have him.

You don’t waste time in pulling on your shoes and slipping out the room, leaving the snoozing figures of your roommates behind. The common room is empty, and it’s still a few minutes before 6am, but you’re willing to take the risk of nobody finding you until curfew is lifted.

It’s one minute past six according to the clock on the wall in the infirmary. Madam Pomfrey gives you a raised eyebrow but says nothing as she leaves the room and you approach the only bed with its curtains drawn.

“Remus?”

There’s a groan in response. You pull open the curtains and slip inside.

Remus Lupin deserves the world. Which is why seeing him broken and battered, with bruises and scratches all over his arms and face, makes your heart break.

"Hi Rem."

He manages a half smile at you, but says nothing. On a better day, he might have quipped a joke, or called you a nickname, but today is anything but a good day.

"How do you feel?" You murmur, as you sit beside him and brush your fingers over his hair.

This time he replies, "Like shit."

You survey him as his voice seems to waiver, and suddenly his hand comes up to his face to rub at his eyes. It comes away wet with tears, and you don't hesitate to grab it, rubbing your thumb over the edge of his palm.

Remus inhales deeply, as his face contorts, and you swear your heart splits in two as more tears slip down his face. Your other hand comes up to wipe them away, and you lean in to kiss his cheek.

"I always think it'll get better," he cries, "each time I turn. But it never does."

Tears begin to gather in the corners of your own eyes, and you squeeze his hand a little tighter. You want to tell him that it will get better, that everything will be okay, but you want more than anything for him to believe it, and you can't seem to find the words. So instead, you gently nudge him over and slip into the bed beside him, his hand clutched in yours.

Remus breathes deeply to calm himself. His body is warm. You wonder how the world could let a boy so kind suffer like this.

"One day," you say, eyes fixed on the ceiling, "we'll be living in a nice house. With a library, filled with books floor to ceiling."

There's a rustle in the mattress beside you as Remus shifts his weight to face you.

"Lily will have invented some spell or potion to make it all easier every month, and we'll have a spare bedroom or two just for our friends to come stay with us." You turn to face him, and see tears in his eyes again. Your hand pulls away from his to wipe them, resting on his cheek as you continue.

"And you'll be doing whatever it is you want, and people will recognise you for you, and your achievements, and they'll sing your praises and know you not as a werewolf, not as a monster, but as Remus Lupin. The kindest, most clever wizard to ever walk the Earth."

Remus manages a smile, as his hand comes up to rest atop yours on his cheek. "Thank you, love."

His eyes shine with earnest.

"It'll get better, Remus." He smiles as he kisses your hand, and although you can tell that he doesn't fully believe you, you let it slide. You'll prove him wrong one day.

[oddballwriter]

💳💥💳💥💳 THE SYSTEM WITH A METALHEAD I BEG OF YOU!! ( if comfy ofc )

Like short 5'2-5'3 reader who looks SCARY as shit and wears all black+tatted but is super cutesy until someone says the wrong shit and they get absolutely insane?

feel like steven would be like raging heart eyes

( maybe smutty maybe not either wayyy..)

- 🌑

Steven Grant

Steven was scared of you at first, that's for sure. The all black and scary look definitely worked on him

It wouldn't be until you approached him that he realized you weren't going to bite him

He finds the difference between the two of you funny, positively.

To me, he seems more like a listener of ABBA and The B-52, those kind of older songs that are more up beat. Something that some suburban dad definitely has on vinyl

I firmly believe that Steven fucking loves the B-52s for some reason, he just has those vibes

Softer type of music, you know? Definitely not metal

But he does enjoy that you're kind and really nice rather than acting the part of how you look

But the one time when you two were out and someone insulted you both and you proceeded to yell at them and cuss them out was a day that he thinks about a lot. You weren't even yelling at them for insulting you, you just tore them a new one because they insulted him

He felt something that day, and he's not saying that he wants you to yell at him, but if you bossed him around a little then he's going to do it with a tent in his pants

He's too embarrassed to admit that but it's defiantly something that's there and you'll catch on someday

Back to the actual topic though, Steven doesn't like metal but he supports you liking it since it makes you happy

Would attend a concert with you but he'd have ear plugs in so that the music doesn't hurt his ears or stress him out

Also, you will have to leave him in the back because he's not going in the mosh pit, he would not survive. I'm sorry but he's not built for that

Marc Spector

Okay, Marc doesn't really listen to metal, he's not an avid metal listener. But I'm sure he's listened to a few songs and knows the more mainstream bands

He thinks you're cool though. Similar to my HCs for them with a goth partner, he finds it fascinating how you don't care how people perceive you and just be yourself. You're happy and he uses that as inspiration to be himself too

Marc would listen to metal music with you if it comes up, maybe you expand his knowledge of the genre

Do I think he'd handle a mosh pit? No, I think it would stress him out too much. Too much is happening and it freaks him out. Loves seeing you having fun though so go mosh for him

Marc also respects the fact that you're still polite and not true to how people think you would be, but 100% if you tell someone off then he's all for it. You tell 'em!

Since I went on a whole side tangent on Steven's music tastes, it's only right I do it for Marc

Marc sort of shares the same taste as Steven where he listens to songs that were around when they were younger. He's a classics kind of guy. He likes it when he hears people from back then on the radio

This man refuses to leave the 80's and 90's music scene. You will have to pry it from him in the field of reeds

Jake Lockley

Jake is such a "I love all genres" guy, he listens to everything and finds something to like in it. Even country, yeah sure modern country sucks but older ones are the ones he talks about when e talks about country music

So yeah, Jake definitely likes metal and can get into it. So feel free to play it around him

He also thinks you're cool and loves your whole look. Buys a shirt to match

100% would love to see you tear someone a new one so long as they deserve it. This man is an enabler, he's in the back cheering you on

Also, if you ask him to go to a concert with you, he will say yes so fast

Jake would survive the mosh pit, he would thrive

It lets him let out some stuff that he's been holding back and energy that he can't really put anywhere else

Honestly Jake would be so clearly into your whole metalhead life. He thinks it's hot. He finds it sexy. There's something about the loud music and look that does something for him and he's not going to hide that

Honestly, yell at him in bed, it'll be good foreplay if you're down

[seospicybin]

VESPER.

PART I

Hyunjin x reader. (s,f)

Chapters: PART II / ONE DANCE.

Synopsis: You've been praying every night for someone like Hyunjin to come and when he finally did, you doubt that he would approve your job as a stripper. (11,2k words)

Author's note: Happy birthday to the sexiest dumpling, Hwang Hyunjin!

For the record, you're not a religious person.

However, there's a prayer you make at night and that is someday you'll find your man.

You keep your prayer still despite knowing how vile, how rude, how nefarious a man can be. You keep a firm belief that you'll find your mate soon and but not here, not in this place where you're working at, anywhere but here.

"Hey, dirty blond!" A man shouts from across the room against the music playing in the club.

It's unclear who that man is calling but based on the way he keeps waving his hand at you and you're wearing a blonde wig, you're sure it's you.

You walk up to a table of three of them in black suits, you guess they're probably coworkers.

"You boys want a dance?" You offer with a smile.

The man who called you pats the shoulder of the man sitting next to him, "it's my friend's birthday and I want to make sure he's having a fun time," he says.

The birthday boy shyly smiles while stealing glances at you.

"Fun time, huh? I think I can do that," you say with a friendly laugh.

The man pulls out his credit card and hands it to you, "please, take care of him well, gorgeous!" He adds.

You lean on their table and take the credit card from him, "with pleasure," you reply with a flirty smile.

The birthday boy is too shy to come with you, you end up getting him up the chair and linking your arm with him. His friends cheer as you both walk up the stairs.

"I'm sorry for the way my friends addressed you," he says with a quivering voice.

You went through so many things that to be called by the color of your wig is nothing to you.

"That's okay. I've been called worse," you assure him.

It's not every day you found a man who is aware of what his friends did wrong and apologized on their behalf of them.

"You have good friends," you add.

He awkwardly smiles, "no, not really."

"They treat you to a lap dance on your birthday," you say.

You have enough proof of why this shy boy's friends are in a good category because not once have you found a bunch of men telling you to give their friend a dance but none of them offers to pay for it.

Not with his, they are willing to spend some money just so their friend can have a really good time.

You hand the credit card to the staff who works there to pay for the champagne room and hand it back to the shy birthday boy to give back to his friends.

"Okay, come," you lead him through the room the staff assigned you to.

The room has its walls covered in velvet which matches the sofa with the light set to low.

You start by picking some songs to play in the room while the birthday boy is looking awkward just standing there, doesn't know what to do with himself.

"Why don't you take a seat and get comfortable," you tell him.

He obeys right away, sitting on the sofa and sitting so awkwardly with both hands on his lap.

“May I know your name?" He asks as you finally settle on a song.

"Vesper," you answer with your fake name, one you always use at work.

It's a name you choose yourself, it comes from Latin words meaning evening star and it's also because you think of yourself as Venus at night.

The birthday boy swallows as you stand in front of him in your black lingerie and looks down, "you have a very beautiful name!"

Of course, a nice guy like him would think that's your real name, "what about you?" You ask back.

"Lee," he answers.

"Happy birthday Lee!" You say as you walk up to him and start moving your body with the slow rhythm of the song playing in the room.

"I have to tell you that it's my— it's my first time getting a lap dance," he stutters.

Even from the first time you met him, you can also tell that it's his first time coming to a strip club.

You come up to him and place your hand on his shoulder, "Well then I have to make it extra special since it's your birthday and your first time," you say.

You glide your hand down to his chest and feel his heart pounding under your palm, "your heart is beating so fast."

"Y‐yeah," he shyly answers and wipes the sheen of sweat on his forehead, nervous.

You bend down in front of him and ask in a low voice, "Are you scared or excited?"

He shrugs then says, "both."

You let out a low chuckle, "don't worry, I promised your friend to give you a good time."

You put your other hand on his chest and look at him, "so relax..."

You slowly lower yourself on his lap then say, "and enjoy."

-

All of these eyes are on you.

You're supposed to be the one looking at them but it's the opposite, you feel like you are the painting and not the other way around.

Wish you could understand paintings, you wonder how these people who attended the art gallery get to talk about them like they're reviewing a book while here you are, trying not to be intimidated by all the stares you got from these people in a painting.

"Fascinating, isn't it?" A voice says.

You didn't know someone is standing next to you and looking at the same painting with you until you turn your head to the side.

"Oh, well, I'm just wondering why the little girl is giving me the side eyes," you playfully remarked.

He softly chuckles and lightly nods, "yeah, she's looking not happy."

One look is enough to know that he's tall and 60 percent of that height goes to his legs and the 10 percent is the dark long hair that curtained his small face. His eyes, nose, lips, and everything on his face complement each other

You have to actively tell your brain to stop staring at his beautiful face.

"I don't understand a thing about paintings," you mutter and everyone can probably see how out of place you are. You are here for something else not to look at these art pieces that you know you don't have the capability to comprehend it.

"You're lucky that I'm here then," he says with a nice smile.

You smile back but resist the urge to look at him, God knows that you'll not stop staring once you do. You keep looking straight ahead and endure the side eyes of the little girl in the painting instead.

"This is Las Meninas by Diago Velázquez," he introduces you even though there's already a card with a short introduction of the painting below it.

"It's a nice painting, right?" He asks with his body turned at you.

You nod even though you're not sure if it's 'artistically' nice based on your judgment as someone who doesn't know anything about art. But is it pleasing to the eyes? Yes.

"But what makes this painting so interesting is because it has a secret illusion," he says with a suppressed excitement in his voice.

You tip your head to the side, "really?"

"A lot is going on here but let's break it down," he then takes a step closer to your side to explain further about the painting.

"First, the little girl is giving you the side eye," he starts.

"Yes."

"Then these people must be her entourage," he says as his hand to point the part of the painting he's explaining to you.

"Someone is creeping in the back steps, there's the painter, and then..." he glances at you before continuing to speak.

It gets you intrigued that you turn to face him unintentionally, "what?"

"You see that mirror on the back wall?" He asks.

"That's a mirror?" You ask back since you didn't notice it before.

"Yes, and the reflection in the mirror is meant to be us."

"Us?" You sound like you heard that word for the first time in your life but liked it without knowing the meaning of it.

He nods and lines himself to stand right next to you then looks back at the painting.

"With all that considered, from where we're standing as the viewers, we're the ones being painted looking at the rest of the room."

He gently places his hand on your shoulder and turns your body slightly to the left to make you look at a certain part of the painting.

"The square shape coming off the side, that's the canvas, and that guy..." he pointed to the guy holding a brush in one hand and a pallet in the other, "he's painting us."

It's like someone flips the switch in your head and the light bulb finally lights up, everything makes sense to you now. It seems like he’s the one who's enjoying your moment of enlightenment the most.

"In the present time, we're getting used to this perspective because we have things like phones which make us understand this perspective of being behind or in front of a camera," he eloquently explains as if he memorized the textbook explanation of it.

"But he made this painting in 1656 and this perspective thing must be trippy for its time. That's what makes this painting so groundbreaking," he finished.

"Wow!" That's all you can mutter as you try to process all of these pieces of information in your head.

On the other hand, it's nice to hear an explanation from someone who knows what he's talking about and doing it so passionately. Not only that it's very informative, but also, low-key hot.

There's just something about a person who talks about something he truly passionate about.

"I am indeed lucky that you're here," you playfully remark with a low laugh.

You've been avoiding looking at him long enough that it feels impolite, slowly you turn your body to face him. You find him shyly smiling and brushing his hair to the back.

"Are you working here?"

He lifts his head but now it's his turn to avoid your eyes, "No, but I'm a painter."

"Oh, that explains!" You say.

When he finally meets your gaze, your heart skips a beat and you stop breathing for a second which is something that rarely happens to you when you've seen so many kinds of men when you're at work.

"If you don't mind me asking, why are you here if not for the paintings?" He asks.

A man with manner, that's a first. You confidently look at him as you speak, "my friend works here and I'm waiting for her so may as well look around..."

"Your friend is a curator?" He wildly guesses.

"No," you answer, "she's working at the front desk. You probably saw her when you came in."

"Ah..." he nods.

There's a silence going on for a moment and he brushes his hair to the back, looking like he hesitates to ask you something.

You decide to keep the conversation going, "are you coming alone?"

He sheepishly smiles, "no, I'm coming with a friend," he proceeds to point at a guy with bleached blond hair who's looking at a painting on another side of the gallery.

Somehow you feel good that he makes it clear that he comes with a friend or maybe it's your question that is pretty much the equivalent of asking if he's single or not.

Your phone vibrates inside your purse and you open it to check a new message from your friend, telling you that she's already waiting in the lobby.

"I'm sorry but my friend is already waiting," you say to him.

He looks at you, then at your phone, "can I have your number?"

You offer your phone instead to him, "why don't you put your number on mine?"

He takes it from you and types his numbers on it, then hits the call button so he can have your numbers on his phone as well.

He introduces himself as he hands your phone back to you, "I'm Hyunjin."

He offers his big hand with slender fingers with bracelets around on his dainty wrist for a handshake.

You shake his hand and introduce yourself back to him, his hand is cold but once you see his smile, you feel warm all over.

You're not sure if his personality will match his beautiful appearance because you can’t decide on it yet.

But is he pleasing to the eyes? The answer is a million times yes.

-

It's a slow night.

You decide to get off early after working 6 hours and paid the house fee, the DJ, the room, and the house mom on the way out. After all that deductions, you go home with $360 in total.

It's only a little after midnight when you arrived home, you eat some food with the noise from the TV playing in the background to fill the quiet of your apartment. Hit the shower after then sleep.

Not without taking a few minutes for your silly night prayer and an extra minute to pray that the man you'll be seeing tomorrow is the one.

It takes you less time to get ready for the date and more layers of clothes than when you have to get ready for work. And you get to feel the warm spring sun even though it's close to twilight.

Hyunjin is dressed nicely in a black sweater and blue jeans, his dark hair is shining under the pale sunlight. A smile rises on his face the moment he lands his eyes on you.

"I'm sorry for making you wait," you say as you stand in front of him.

"No, I only got here a few minutes ago," he assures you.

You nod, "so, what are we going to do today?"

He licks his lower lip before speaking, "I have two tickets to the art gallery," he pulls them out of the pocket of his jeans.

"But we can do anything else if you want," he quickly adds.

You smile at him, "why would I skip on a chance to get a free art lesson?"

He lets out a soft chuckle and brushes his hair to the back, "well, it's not free," he says.

You tip your head to the side and slyly smile at him, he looked so gorgeous in this light of golden bursts of sunset, making him glow like an ethereal being.

"You can pay with dinner," he says.

It's hard not to get flustered, he just knows how to soften the moment, "Well, that wouldn't be a problem."

You're not feeling out of place this time. Hyunjin is patiently telling you these bits about the painting you're looking at together but despite all of these beautiful pieces of art, he's the most beautiful here.

"I want to show you this," he leads you to another part of the gallery. Seeing you trailing behind him, he grabs your hand to walk together to the painting he wanted to show you.

"It's the last day you can see this," he says as he stops in front of a painting framed with glass which proves that it's very valuable.

The small painting depicts a distressed-looking man in a straw hat and your little understanding of paintings can't find what's so interesting about this.

"There are 35 self-portrait paintings of Vincent and for many years, art historians believed that this was one of them," Hyunjin explains.

You know so little about art but you're certain that you have seen an image of Vincent van Gogh at least once on the internet. He's the famous painter, The Starry Night.

"It was revealed over 120 years after its creation that the painting was not an image of Vincent but rather was a painting of his brother, Theo."

You softly gasp in response to this newfound information and take a closer look at the small yet painted in considerable detail.

"Unfortunately, there is no decisive evidence to determine who is actually portrayed which is why the painting now has a double title," Hyunjin furtherly explains.

He then trails his hand on the painting information plaque and shows you the double title he mentioned, 'self-portrait or portrait of Theo van Gogh'.

"I would have mistaken him too because of the uncanny resemblance," you say still in awe.

Hyunjin places a hand on the small of your back and gently takes you a little to the side to make space for a group of people wanting to look at the painting.

"It was Theo who supported Vincent to be an artist, emotionally and financially so Vincent can devote himself entirely to painting," Hyunjin eloquently explains as if this knowledge has been kept in his head for too long and he is finally able to let it out.

"He kept every letter Vincent sent to him, he named his son after him, he died six months after Vincent's death and was buried next to him," he finishes.

You look at Hyunjin while he's looking at the painting, "That's beautiful!"

He turns and looks you right in the eyes, "beautiful, yeah."

And you know he isn’t talking about the painting with those starry eyes.

-

After dinner, you take a stroll along the row of cherry blossom trees with their petals swirling in the air and enjoying the warm spring night. You used to think all of these couples having dates in the park are so cliché but now you’re a part of it.

"Want to take a seat?" Hyunjin offers as he spots an empty bench.

"Yes," you let him lead you there and sit together while looking at the river.

"I haven't gone on a date for a long time so I hope I didn't bore you," he suddenly says, nervously wiping his palms against his jeans.

"If that's the case then I'd leave earlier," you shortly reply with a sly smile.

He turns his body on his seat to face you, "I'm a painter so I'm not good with words," he says.

"Are you working on something at the moment?" You ask out of pure curiosity. You want to know how an artist works and compare it with yours.

"I have two more paintings to finish for an exhibition," he answers.

"That's a huge thing, right? To have an exhibition?"

Hyunjin adorably scrunches his nose as he thinks of an answer, "I guess."

He's just too humble to say yes when you know for sure not all artist can have their exhibitions, "so when is this exhibition?"

"Less than two months away," he says while tucking the stray hair falling over his face.

"I'd love for you to come," he eagerly says, "I know it's still less than two months away and I haven't finished my paintings but—" he stops himself from talking by taking a deep breath. He's blabbering and it's cute.

"I'd love to come," you say to him.

Hyunjin sheepishly smiles, "only if you're not busy, of course," he adds, "I'm sorry but what are you working as again?"

Truthfully, Hyunjin hasn't asked about your job at all, the whole dinner you kept asking about him and a part of the reason is that you don't want to tell anything about yourself.

"I'm a dancer," you settle with a simple answer that he can easily digest.

"A dancer? Are you a part of a dance company or an academy?" He asks as a cherry blossom petal makes a landing on his shoulder.

Hyunjin seems to be delighted to hear that and you hate to ruin that, you decide to end the talk.

"You have something..." your hand reaches for the cherry blossom petal off his shoulder and blows it away.

He also turns to look at you and says, "you also have one on your hair."

You grope around your hair to find the petal stuck to your hair, then he grabs your hand to stop you.

"I'll get it for you," he helps you by taking something from the crown of your hair. He proceeds to fix your hair by brushing it with his fingers. He got so incredibly close that you can see the tiny dot of mole under his left eye and his dark eyelashes that curl beautifully.

There can't be a more perfect time to kiss than now with Hyunjin's eyes fixated on your lips and you've been wondering how soft his lips would be like on yours. Then he swallows air as if he refrained from letting something out of him, possibly the courage to kiss you.

"It's getting late," he says and nervously looks away from you, "I'd better drive you home."

Hyunjin stays quiet the whole ride home and you start to think what have you done wrong? Was he comfortable when you thought he was going to kiss you?

"You can stop right here," you say as the car approaches the front of your apartment building.

Hyunjin obeys and turns off the car engine, the moment passes in silence as he only watches you unbuckle your seat belt.

Maybe he knew that you lied about your job?

"Thank you for the ride home," you tell him with a smile.

He keeps looking straight ahead, "no worries," he replies.

Or maybe it was you who bore him? You don't want to keep guessing and fill your head with negative thoughts. Hyunjin has been nothing but nice and lovely, let’s end the note there.

"I had a nice date," you say to him.

"Me too," he shortly replies.

Better not to prolong this pain, you tell yourself and take your purse with you, "Goodnight!"

He doesn't say anything back to you and you take this as your cue to get out of the car. You look at him through the windshield and wave your hand at him before making your way inside. As you wait for the elevator to arrive, you can't help but wonder what changed. Then you hear footsteps coming towards you and you turn around to see who it is.

"Hey, wait," he shouts as he stops right in front of you, panting.

And you don't want to pressure him to explain what just happened, "no, it's fine. I was just confused," you assure him, "you don't have to run out of your car—"

"I like you," he cuts you off with a surprising confession, "a lot. I like you a lot. I do."

That's enough to make you stay on your feet and hear what he has to say.

"I was too in my head about it and I don't want to come off too strong," he meekly explains as he looks down for a while to muster up the courage to continue talking, "you're beautiful and kind and curious and sometimes when people give me attention it overwhelmed me but not you. I like being with you, I—" he pauses to take a breath.

He dryly laughs, "see? I'm bad with words."

You take steps closer to him and not stopping until your bodies collided, you wrap your hand around his neck, then kiss him.

It's way softer than you imagined, his lips are as soft as the cherry blossom petals blowing in the wind.

It takes him a second to return the kiss to you, brushing his lips over yours with his hand on the side of your face, holding you still and deepening the kiss.

You slowly pull away with a faint smile and lowly gasp, "I'm bad with words too," you tell him.

Hyunjin smiles with his eyes half shut and thumb lazily rubbing your cheek, this time he confidently gives you a long, lingering kiss on your lips.

"Goodnight," he softly says as he lets go of the kiss.

You let him slip away and walk into the elevator as it chimes open, you wave your hand at him before it closes. As much as you like him, you don't want to get your hopes up, especially when you haven't told him the truth about yourself.

-

You just paid the DJ for playing the song of your choice for your dance, then sit in the empty booth when someone calls for you from a table nearby.

You turn to face him, "hi, how's your night going?" You ask with a smile.

There are two of them but only of them is interested in your offer, he looks at you and says, "can you get up?"

It's not the weirdest request you ever heard. Most men are looking for someone with their 'favorite type' of body and in your line of work, it's normal to be judged objectively.

You obey and get up from your seat, you tuck your foot to the front which is a pose you learn to accentuate every curve of your body.

"Do a twirl for me!" He orders once again.

You do what he says without complaint, it's only a twirl. When you're back facing him again, his friend lets out a snort, then says, "you should have never asked."

So much for the highlight of your night!

You come home with roughly $900 from 7 hours of working and yeah, the money is great, but you have to deal with mean or rude comments like that on top of having to compare yourself to other girls.

It's a job that requires you to have tough skin and not to take it personally.

When you meet Hyunjin again for your second date, it's like you're living in a different world that is so vibrant and warm. He wears a knitted sweater in a cobalt blue color and washed jeans that make him appear taller than he already is.

"Do you want to do something today?" He asks.

You're a little out of it from the lack of sleep and fatigue from working all night, you don't want to walk around searching for a place to talk or take another stroll in the park.

"I'd like to see your studio if you don't mind," you say.

It seems like he didn't expect that answer, "Oh?"

"Am I allowed?" You ask with an awkward smile, regretting that you make him feel pressured by your request.

"Yes," he eagerly answers then tucks his hair behind his ear, "it's just a little messy I'm not sure you'll..." his words trail off as he looks at you with a cringe on his face.

"That's okay. I can handle a little messy," you say to him.

What you didn't expect though is that he lives in there too. You see his unmade bed in the corner of this spacious studio where one side of the room is littered with specks of paint and canvases lining up the wall.

"What are those?" You ask to the paintings covered with a white cloth.

A smirk dances on his face and he walks backward to uncover the paintings, "you'll be the first to see these paintings," he says.

Your eyes dart to his, "to what do I owe this pleasure?"

He shrugs with a sly grin, "I want you to," he simply answers.

He then pulls the cloth off of them one by one, revealing the paintings he made for the exhibition.

They're all paintings of flowers, each has a different combination of colors but they're most of the color blue in every hue. They look so incredibly real that you feel like wanting to touch them and feel their soft petals.

Hyunjin takes a step backward to give you a space to observe his paintings.

"Can I touch?" You hesitantly ask.

"Yeah," he shortly replies, "the paints have dried so you can touch them."

With his permission, you allow yourself to take a closer at each painting. It amazes you that all of those strokes of paint create something as beautiful as this. Too bad that you can't fully fathom what these paintings make you feel into words.

"They're beautiful!" That's all you can mutter to him when he asked what you think about his paintings. He hands you a glass of wine then takes a seat next to you on the end of his bed since he doesn't recommend you to sit on the sofa because it's splattered with paint.

"I'm bad with words," you remind him and clink your glass together with him before taking a sip.

"That's okay," he says, then he puts his wine glass away to lean his hands behind him on the bed.

"We don't need praise or acknowledgment. We all just want to be understood, right?"

The reason Hyunjin asks you that is probably because he knows you're also an artist in a different medium. You wouldn't call yourself an artist because you're not a ballerina who dances to Tchaikovsky on a big stage, you're just a stripper who dances at the strip club.

"By that, I mean me with my paintings and you with your dancing," he adds.

And suddenly, you feel like you're no longer a part of this world that Hyunjin lives in.

"I'd love to see you dance someday," he suddenly says.

Someday sounds hopeful and that means he wants to see you in foreseeable future but you can also see the disappointment overshadows it.

"Why not now?" You ask back.

Hyunjin turns rigid like he has just heard something shocking and looks straight ahead.

"Play something," you tell him.

He glances at you, "you're going to dance? Right here? Right now?"

His confounded face amuses you that you forget you're anxious, "yeah."

You get up from the bed as he gropes around the pocket of his jeans, looking for his phone. First, you take off your shoes and go barefoot to stand just a few feet away from him. After a minute, Hyunjin finally starts playing a song from his phone and turns the volume high until it replaces the quiet space of his studio.

He looks nervous although you haven't moved any part of your body to the slow tempo of the music playing. You have done this a million times, faking your confidence even though you're shuddering with anxiety inside.

You start moving and freely dance to the song, just trying to express what you feel like your body is trying to tell him. That in this world with Hyunjin in it, you want him to see you past your flaws.

The smile doesn't leave his face the whole time he's watching you dance in the middle of the room. The song is about to come to an end so you make your way to him and stop at the same time the song finishes.

He looks up at you still with the same soft smile plastered on his face.

You want him to like what he sees so you unzip your dress and let it drop onto the floor, let it pool around your ankle.

"Do you like what you see?" You ask him.

His eyes widen in awe as if he's seeing something that is beyond his level of comprehension.

"I like it," he replies with a dreamy sigh.

You step out of your dress and approach him, slowly lowering yourself on his lap, and straddling him. Using your thumb, you swipe his lower lip before slowly putting your lips on his.

And you want to feel his skin on yours. Your hands slide down his front to grab the hem of his sweater and take it off of him, laughing as his ear got caught in the process.

"I'm sorry," you quickly apologize but your eyes suddenly got distracted by the muscles on his arms and abdomen, firm and perfectly sculpted.

He laughs as well and puts the sweater away, "that's okay," he says as he looks up at you, wrapping his hands around you to pull you close.

He leans in and captures your lips in a rapturous kiss that is both gentle and hungry, he pries your mouth open with his tongue to invade you, tasting more of you. His hand snakes under the elastic band of your bra and he gasps into your mouth once he succeeded to unclasp it. You reluctantly break the kiss to help him get it off of you.

Slowly, he slides both straps down your arms simultaneously but his eyes are looking into you, intensely and flickering with lust. Hyunjin doesn't waste time putting his lips on your skin, first is on your neck, second is on the base of your throat and forcing you to crane your neck for him.

From there, he makes small kisses down your chest to your sternum and stays like that for a moment. He tightens the hold around you and gently lay himself down on the bed with you staying on top of him, he eventually flips you over and has you under.

Your hand slips inside his hair, silky hair slipping through your fingers as he plants kisses all over your chest, "Hyunjin?"

He abruptly stops kissing to look at you, "yeah?"

You take his hand and press it against the side of your face, "do you like what you see?"

It confuses him because you asked this before but he gets the real meaning behind your question after taking a minute to think.

He gives a gentle caress on your face that makes your heart flutters, "are you kidding me?" He asks in disbelief but in a rather soft tone, "You are undeniably beautiful!"

You can feel that he's being sincere your heart aches the moment you hear it. You bring his face close to yours and put your lips against his, expressing what you need to tell him through the kiss, that you like him and you want him to like you back.

"You feel so good," he murmurs to you with a haste kiss on your lips.

Hyunjin has been nothing but attentive and gentle with you, he thrusts into you at a slow, steady pace with his eyes boring into you, making you feel more naked than you already are. His kisses are fiery and passionate but you don't mind any of it when it feels like you're kissing cotton candy, sweet and pillowy.

"And oh... you keep clenching around me," he says with an overwhelmed sigh.

He buries his face in the crook of your neck and plants his mouth there, kissing and nibbling your skin. His free hand gropes around the bed to search for your hand and interlaced it with yours.

"Cum together, yeah?" He tells you with another haste kiss on your open mouth.

Your brain is clouded with pleasure that you're unable to form a verbal answer, you respond with eager nods instead.

The room is quiet except for the sounds of your bodies colliding and moans that grow louder spilling out of your mouths as you both take each other closer to the edge.

Hyunjin hastily presses a hard, deep kiss as he comes to his release a little after you while you still catch your breath from your orgasm.

"I think that was the best sex I've ever had," he shamelessly admits while spooning you from behind, his hand intertwined with yours.

You don't know how to respond to that because, on the other hand, you don't want to compare him with your previous sexual partners. That doesn't stop you from saying that he's exceptional, he makes it more than just physical fulfillment. You turn your head to meet his gaze and smile, "I like you, Hyunjin."

He puts your hair to the side and places an affectionate kiss on your cheek, "I like you too. A lot."

The morning casts pale sunlight on his bare body that makes him glow bright like a yellow daffodil under the sun. You've been sitting on the side of the bed watching him sleeping and wondering if things would change once you told him the truth about you.

For one, he deserves to know the truth but you're not ready for that, not when there's the possibility that you'll lose him. You decide to take a step back and give yourself time to muster the courage to tell him everything.

So for now, you land a gentle caress on his beautiful face and say, "I hope we'll meet again."

-

White icing and rainbow sprinkles, you've been having the same birthday cake since you were twelve. As you grow up, you stop asking to have your birthday celebrated but your mother always insists.

It's the same thing this year, you sit with your family at the dining table with your cake in front of you and they're singing you a birthday song. Except for your father, he stops speaking with you the day you told him what your job is.

"Don't forget to make a wish!" Your mother says.

You pretend to make one in your heart and blow the candles off, smiling when you look up at them.

"Happy birthday!" Your mother puts her hand around your shoulder and places a kiss on your cheek.

Your father doesn't say anything but left the dining table and your mother senses that she needs to distract you from it, "Let's cut the cake!"

Your younger brother takes the next turn and hugs you, he's much taller than you now that he's in college.

"Happy birthday!" He wishes you then gives you a small box wrapped in silver and blue ribbons.

"What is this?" You glare at him, "I told you not to gift me anything."

He nonchalantly shrugs, "don't get ahead of yourself and take it," he playfully remarks.

A smile rises on your face, "thank you!"

"Open it!" He says.

"Okay, okay," you hastily unwrap the box and open it to find a pair of silver earrings.

"My friend helped me pick this," he sheepishly says.

From the way he got flustered, you got a feeling that this friend is more than just that, "whoever she is, she has good taste. I approve!"

He nervously laughs and drinks his glass of cola, "Nah, I'm going to study hard and pay you back," he says.

You nudge his elbow with yours, "it's okay to have fun in a while. Also, I never asked you to pay me back," you remind him with an intense stare.

Your mother places something in front of you as well, "I think it'll look good on you," she says.

Without looking, you already know that she gives you another lipstick because she always does that too whenever you visit her salon.

"Thank you, mom!" You say again as you check the color she picked for you this time, it's a coral red.

She stays with you at the dining table while eating the cake together, "so, are you seeing anyone lately?"

The last thing you want to be reminded of besides your father still won't talk to you is that you still haven't contacted Hyunjin since that day you left him. You know it's not fair for him but you can't look at him and lie to his face again.

"I was," you answer, picking a dollop of icing cream off your cake and licking it.

Your mother rolls her eyes dramatically, "what is it this time?" She asks.

You slump in your chair, "he's too nice, mom, and too... beautiful," you say as an image of Hyunjin's face vividly flashes in front of you.

"What's so bad about that?” Your mother asks a little too aggressively, "you always look at the wrong in a guy. He's too nice, he's too happy, he's too hot..." she heavily sighs.

You chuckle watching her take a spoonful of cake and shove it into her mouth, annoyed by what you said.

"I get it if he's too beautiful, it'll fade in time but he's nice and that's good, that means he'll try to understand you," she says.

She takes a piece of cake on your cake, "isn't that what you want? Someone who understands you?"

You slightly shrug, also confounded by your way of seeing things when it's simple as that, it's you who complicate things.

When it's time to go home, your mother insists on you taking the rest of the cake with you and having your brother drives you home.

"I'm going home, dad!" You tell him as you stand before the front door.

He doesn't reply but nods at you which is better than nothing. Your mother gives you a long hug on your way out, "come next week to get your haircut, okay?"

"Okay," you say back and kiss her on the cheek.

"Take your vitamins, drink lots of water, and stop biting your nails!" She ends her talk with a warning glare and walks with you out of the door.

Your brother is already waiting in the car when you get in and is typing on his phone.

"Let's get you home first," you say.

"It's okay, I can take a taxi from your place," he assures you because that's what he usually does.

You put on a seat belt, "I'm not going home."

"Where are you going?" He asks.

"Somewhere," you vaguely answer with a smirk on.

He squints at you, "and where is this somewhere?"

"Since when do you get nosy at your sister?" You tease him despite knowing that he's just being a protective brother for you and you're grateful for that

He puts his hands off the steering wheel and laughs, "Okay, no more questions asked!"

Your brother hugs you as you get out of the car to switch places with him, he ignores the jeers coming from the students hanging out on the balcony.

"Drive carefully!" He says before you get into the driver's seat.

You don't even have to think twice about going here but you take a long moment on knocking on the door of his studio, afraid that you're unwelcomed after ignoring his calls and texts for two weeks. You swallow your pride and knock on his door, three times until he finally opens the door.

"Hi!" You know it's not a good impression to act like you haven't ghosted him for the last few days.

Hyunjin seems a little perplexed like he's seeing something that he doesn't know whether it's real or not.

"I'm sorry for coming late at night like this," you say with a sheepish smile. Not sure if he considers 10 pm as late but who knows?

After a moment, it finally registered to him that you are real and speaking to him.

"Oh, sorry for just standing, come in!" He says and opens the door wide to let you inside.

You bring the cake you brought from home with you and place it on the small, round dining table he has in the studio.

"What do you bring with you?" He asks, standing next to the table with hands on his waist.

You open the box to reveal the half-eaten cake inside and show it to him.

"A birthday cake?" He asks and uses his finger to get a piece of the icing cream to taste it, "whose birthday is it?"

"Mine."

Hyunjin's mouth hung open, he seems to be surprised that it's your birthday and that you don't tell him about it. He thinks of something and looks around, "I'll get us drinks," he says.

He returns with a bottle of wine and two glasses in his hands, taking them to the dining table.

"I hope this goes well with the cake," he says as he sits next to you, then fills both of your glasses with the crimson-colored drink. He seems so calm and somehow that makes you even more nervous to start talking. But this is the only way and sometimes the only way is through.

"Hyunjin," you call.

"Yes?" He stirs the wine by shaking the glass in circular motions.

"I'm sorry that I left in the morning and not taking your calls," you start by clearing the air between you.

He stares at the whirlpool inside his wine glass and softly exhales, "I started to think that I'm going crazy," he takes a small sip, then licks his lower lip, "I thought you don't want to see me again."

Knowing that your absence affected him that much and it makes you want him more therefore the fear to tell him the truth is getting unbearably scary.

"I can't go further from here," you say.

He glances up from his glass and looks straight into you, there's a flash of sorrow in his warm brown eyes.

"Without telling you the truth about me first," you immediately continue before he gets the wrong idea.

He leans forward on the table, "I'll listen and try to be open," he earnestly says to you.

You put your hands together under the table and hold it tightly, "I'm not a dancer," you say.

He tips his head to the side, waiting for you to say more about it because that can't be the whole truth.

"I'm a stripper," you say and look down at your interlaced hands on your lap.

Most men would most likely be thrilled to hear it because it sort of fills their wild fantasy but Hyunjin is not like most men, you know he needs the time to process it.

Then he puts his hand on your clasped hand and squeezes it, "and what's so wrong about that?"

Tears spill out of your eyes without you intending to and he wipes them for you with his knuckle, he's softly smiling as he's doing it.

"Did you think that I'll judge you for that? Do I look like I'm that kind of person, mmh?" He asks you while holding the side of your face with his hand, offering the warmth of his palm to comfort you.

You shake your head and croak, "No."

Hyunjin gives you a heartwarming smile that put you at ease then slowly leans in to place a soft kiss on your lips that sets everything in its place, that's he's right, this is right.

"How are you still beautiful even when you're crying?" He asks as he wipes fresh tears from the corner of your eyes.

He looks up to see the time and says, "we have twenty minutes before your birthday ends."

He takes the half-eaten cake out of the box and puts the candles back on top, lighting them up so you can blow on it once again in front of him.

"Don't forget to make a wish," he reminds you.

You stop yourself from crying when you should be happy that he accepted the truth well and it was useless for you to be scared. You lean in and close your eyes, you make a wish with all of your heart that you want Hyunjin to be that man you asked for in your prayers every night.

You dearly wish that it's the truth and blow out the candles, sending your wish away with it for the universe to grant it.

"Happy birthday!" He says to you.

You turn to the side to look at him and got the assurance that you have found him, you kiss him to let him know how grateful you are to have met him.

The two of you catch up while eating the cake together and wash it down with wine. He is finished with his paintings for the exhibition and he's already starting on a new series but can't decide on a theme yet.

A little after midnight, you both decide that it's time for bed. He lends his oversized t-shirt for you to wear to bed and is a little surprised when you tell him that you usually sleep naked.

You talk all night talking about yourself and your job. You tell him that you started the job at the age of 21, went to a beauty school, and worked for a regular job for a few months, however, the pay wasn't as much as you expected so you returned to being a stripper.

From there, you built your own life and everyone around you. The money you got helped your mother's business and paid for your brother's college, you also mentioned how both of your parents are not supporting what you do but only your father decides to stop talking to you.

While your brother remains neutral and worries about you a lot in the most brotherly way.

You feel lighter for every piece of truth that you tell him and it's not scary as you thought, it feels liberating instead.

"When I first met you I just knew that you're not like the other girl," he says to you, his fingertips trailing up and down your arm.

"Is that a good thing?" You ask.

He softly chuckles, "what I mean by not like the other girl is that I felt a little intimidated by you."

Your eyebrows knitted together in confusion, "how is that so?"

He scrunches his nose as he thinks, "you give this impression that you are not one to be tamed and that you're this girl who runs free looking for someone who is just as wild to run with you."

He sucks air through his teeth as if just regretted his way of explaining things, "I'm bad with words," he says as he drops his head in your neck. But you get what he said, know that it means you're different to him and different doesn't always mean bad. From what you see from the way he said those, you know he meant it in the best way.

"You don't have this fantasy of dating a stripper, right?" You jokingly ask.

He suddenly lifts his head to look at you, "funny you said that," he props his elbow against the mattress and looks down at you, "I thought I'd never get to date someone," he reveals.

It baffles you so much to hear that because he got the look and the good personality, "Why?"

He subtly shrugs, "I don't know," he vaguely answers, "dating an artist can be difficult."

You don't want to take his words too seriously, that's just what people say and he said it himself, you're not just like the others.

"I don't see how you can be difficult," you tell him.

He holds your chin and swipes his thumb on your lower lip, "that's because you haven't seen that part of me yet."

"Is that supposed to scare me?" You ask with a daring smile.

He shrugs again, "only tell you what's most likely to come," he says, then he kisses you.

He wraps his hands around you and pulls you so close, so tight that there's barely any space between your bodies. He puts your hair to the side and places another kiss on your lips, a lingering one that makes you melt against him.

With his forehead presses against yours, he tightens his hold around you and says, "don't try to leave me again."

It's your fault that you made him think you'd leave in the morning again. You assure him with a deep kiss then say, "I'm not going anywhere."

-

You're no longer nervous going to the art gallery, not when it's Hyunjin's exhibition and he's been waiting for you.

Hyunjin is deep in a conversation with two people that you don't want to interrupt, however, his eyes instantly found you. He excuses himself to come to you, "I've been waiting for you," he says, doesn't hesitate to briefly kiss you on the lips.

"Congratulations!" You bring a bouquet of flowers for him and hand it to him.

"Thank you," he mutters and gives you another peck.

He then grabs your hand and shows you around, introducing you to a few of his friends along the way, "this is my girlfriend," he introduces.

You get flustered every time he said that and at the same time, feel a little small because he's cherished and admired by so many people.

There is no moment when you're not interrupted by people who wanted to talk to him, "You go ahead and talk to them," you say.

"But I'm not done showing you around," he says.

"That's okay. I can do it myself," you say and soften him with a kiss.

"It'll only take minutes," he says.

You smile to assure him that it's fine, "take your time, it's your night!" You remind him.

He brings your hand close to his mouth and kisses the back of your hand, "don't try to leave me again," he warns with a gentle squeeze on your hand.

"I won't," you say with an annoyed sigh.

He finally let go and leaves you alone to continue looking around the exhibition. Your brother said he'll be coming soon, you told him about going to Hyunjin's exhibition this morning and suddenly he wanted to come too.

He is probably curious more about Hyunjin than the paintings in the exhibition.

You almost choke on your drink when he taps your shoulder from the back, you quickly swallow it and greet him, "you're here!"

He gives you a quick hug, "sorry, the bus arrived late," he concisely explains.

You see someone else behind him and he immediately introduces him to you, "I'm coming with a friend," he says.

You offer your hand for a handshake and smile, "hi, I'm his sister," you say.

He smiles back at you and looks at something on your face that you start to wonder if you smudge your lipstick or something, "they look good on you," he says, pointing at your earrings.

You're wearing the gift from your brother that goes well with the black dress you're wearing tonight, "thank you. You have good eyes," you praise.

You exchange a glance with your brother then look back at his friend, recognizing that this is the friend that helped him picked the birthday gift for you and that tells you something.

"Let me show you around!" You offer.

Hyunjin finally joins after he finishes an interview with a local newspaper. You introduce your brother to him along with his friend which leads to the moment you take the turn to introduce him.

"This is my boyfriend," you say with a sheepish smile.

Hyunjin and your brother shake hands, exchanging pleasantries while they're at it, Hyunjin mostly asks about his paintings to your brother but he has just as little knowledge in art as you are.

Unfortunately, Hyunjin has to excuse himself again as he got called by someone, "I'm sorry," he regretfully says to you both.

He shakes hands with your brother once again, "thank you for coming," he says.

Before leaving he kisses you on the cheek which your brother reacted with a raised eyebrow, his friend excuses himself to get drinks while you both sit on the empty round sofa in the middle of the spacious room.

"Do you like him that much?" Your brother asks you.

"I do," you answer without a beat and you have never been this sure of an answer before.

He chuckles at your blunt and eager answer, "yeah, I can see that," he says.

He looks at you with a smile on his face, "you look radiant."

Here's the thing, you both argued a lot when you were younger but despite all that, he grew into such a loving and protective younger brother when it was supposed to be your role.

"Do you perhaps need something? A new laptop? Phone?" You jokingly ask and gently bump your shoulder with him.

"A new car?" He jokes back.

"Sure," you roll your eyes at him.

He then puts his hand on you, "I'm happy that you're happy," he says, "because I know you deserve it."

Words can't express how grateful you are to have someone who will always have your back especially when you share the same blood with that person. You rest your hand on his shoulder as you both are looking at the same painting of irises in a glass vase.

-

Hyunjin carries the flowers you gifted him in one hand while he's making his way toward you, he told you to wait in the car earlier as he finished a few things about his exhibition first.

"Hi,'" you say as you lean against his car, "can you give me a ride home?"

He ignores you and walks to the driver's side, "I'm sorry, I already have a girlfriend," he says.

You softly chuckle, "I'm not going tell anyone," you say with a hushed voice.

Hyunjin carefully puts the bouquet in the backseat then gets inside the car, he pushes open the door to the passenger's side, "we have to hurry before my girlfriend finds out," he playfully says.

Hyunjin is surprisingly stunned to see your apartment, not only that it's bigger than his studio. Kitchen, living room, bedroom even the balcony, he gives you an impressed look because of how you keep the place neat.

The only reason everything is organized is that you don't have time to make a mess out of the place, "I only sleep at home," you tell him.

He stands in the middle of the living room and takes a look around, "I like it."

You take a stand in front of him, "then you should stay here," you subtly hint at what you've been wanting to ask him.

His ears perked up hearing that, "do you want me to?"

You nod.

He wraps his hands around you but you put them away, you take him to your bedroom, "I have a big bed too," you show off with a sly smile.

Hyunjin gives another impressed smile and nods, "I agree. The bed is big."

You walk toward the bed and turn to face him, "and it's comfortable too."

"Yeah?" He asks.

"Want to try?" You ask back to pique his interest.

He comes up to you but you stop him at arm's length, "I have one rule," you say, "just one rule!"

He tips his head to the side, intrigued.

"You're not allowed to wear any clothes on the bed," it won't be enough to tell him the rule and not show him how it's done. You strip all of your clothes off, tossing your underwear at him which he catches in his hand. He takes a sniff at it as he looks at your naked body on the bed.

You lie on your side and wait for him to join you, giving him the eyes and you know he'll soon catch the signal.

"You look comfortable," he says.

"I am," you say and prop a hand under your head.

Hyunjin tosses your underwear onto the floor to start unbuttoning his shirt and the rest of his clothing, he doesn't wait for your invite to join you, lying his body on top of you.

Everything seems to be aligned when you're together. Your bodies mold into each other's so perfectly like they're made as a pair. You've seen him hovering above you but what you discovered just now is how beautiful he looked under you.

"I know we're just getting started," you're tracing the outline of his face with your index finger as you speak, "and I like you so much."

Hyunjin is rubbing his knuckle up and down the arch of your back, his eyes locked in a gaze with yours, "and I like you as much," he lifts his head to place a quick peck on your lips, “if not more.”

You get a boost of confidence to continue talking from his kiss, "I want to fully commit to our relationship only if you wanted to do the same," you say even though you're aware of how demanding you sounded.

You prop a hand under your head and the other on his chest, "this is how I do and I hope you understand that I don't want to waste time on a meaningless relationship," you explain.

It's always going all in or nothing at all for you. When you're in a relationship, you're willing to put your all into it and you want your partner to do the same. It's either that or don't bother trying. Also, yeah, you're tired of being in a meaningless relationship.

"But I understand if you're not ready," you quickly add with a smile, "I'm sure you need time to think about it."

Hyunjin seems calm when most men usually freak out at the slightest mention of commitment. Then again, he is not most men. He takes a deep breath as he brushes your hair to the side and holds it there, "Let's do that."

It surprises you how easily he agreed to that, you're supposed to be happy but is it real? That he wants to do the same for you?

You playfully shove his shoulder and laugh, "seriously, take your time!”

He puts a hand on the back of your head, "do I look like I gave you a false answer?"

No, he's rather looking serious and looking so gorgeous doing it.

"Are you sure?" You ask because the ghosts of your past relationships are haunting you right now and you want the assurance that this is it. No more heartbreak.

He softly kisses you and says, "yes."

You've been dreaming of reaching the stars then one falls right onto your lap and he's perfect and loving and beautiful. He's the brightest star in the dark of your sky, Hyunjin.

“Okay, let’s do this,” you say while nodding.

“Let’s do this, together,” he rephrased your sentence.

When he slips his hands through the spaces between your fingers, the stars are aligned in that very moment because it feels like nothing but fate.

Hyunjin looked even more beautiful as you make love to him, moving your hips back and forth on top of him while listening to his low moans spilling out of his slightly parted open mouth.

"Oh, I like having you inside me," you breathlessly say to him as you put your hands on his gripping each side of your hips.

"You're perfect inside me," you moan at the end of the sentence, feeling him engorging inside you.

You slide your hands down to his forearms and hold them as support as you pick up the pace, moving faster than before. "close, mmh?"

Hyunjin doesn't answer but keeps groaning with his hands clawing on the flesh of your thighs. You don't need him to though, you already know he's close to his release from the way his cock keeps twitching inside you.

You move as fast as you can, sending him closer and closer to his edge until he lets go.

Hyunjin lets out a loud, raw moan as he cum and you start to slow down, collapsing on top of him. He smiles at you with his eyes closed, "I like you so much to be just like," he mumbles, too tired to speak clearly.

"What is it then?" You ask while giggling.

He puts his hands around you and pulls you closer, "I am deeply smitten," he says with a kiss on your forehead.

"Enamored," he adds with another kiss on your nose.

"Infatuated," he finishes with a long kiss on your lips.

Hyunjin flips you over, sending you under him and he hovers above you, lovingly caressing the side of your face with his hand that painted so many beautiful things.

"You have to know that from this second, I'll never let you go," he warns you.

That doesn't sound like a warning at all to you, that sounds like a promise, that sounds hopeful and makes you want to hold on to him more.

-

Hyunjin moved in with you two weeks later.

It’s a mutual decision with one condition: he's not allowed to pay rent. You argue about that because he keeps insisting on paying half of the rent with you.

"I can't allow you that," you persist, shaking your head at him.

He tries to soften you by holding you close and sweetly talking to you, "we live here together therefore we should pay the rent together," he says.

You shake your head again, "but it's my apartment."

"I know," he shortly replies.

"I mean, I already bought it so why would you bother paying rent?" You ask with a shrug.

His eyebrows knitted together and forms a questioning face, when it finally registered to him, he exclaims, "oh!"

You put your hands on his chest and smile, "You'd better use the money to keep your studio," you suggest.

"Should I?" he asks you as if he needs your permission to use his money.

You don't want to keep him away from his work and he should do it in a separate space, so he can fully focus and not be distracted, “yes, you should!”

It's only time until the two of you form a routine, you wake up in the morning to cook and eat breakfast together, and Hyunjin would go to his studio while you take a few hours of nap. Sometimes you go to work early but many times, you leave after having dinner with him. A few times, Hyunjin stays until late at night in his studio and come home the next morning.

You rarely see him but being with him even just for an hour puts you at ease, coming home never felt this good before despite having to find him already sleeping. You'll quietly get under the cover and give him a goodnight kiss to eventually join him in dreamland.

There's also one of those days when you feel like staying home with him or taking a day off just to have a date, meet some of his friends, and take trips to the art museums.

Never in your life have you dreamed of having a boyfriend that makes you the happy from the moment you open your eyes to the last of your day. But in each of that happy moment, there's that drop of fear that pain will soon replace it.

"Is it okay for me to be this happy?"

“Where is this coming from?" He asks with a slow caress on your head.

You slip your hand under his arm and hold him, "it's just that... this happiness... I'm afraid that it will be taken away from me soon."

He puts his forehead against yours and softly kisses the tip of your nose, "you think I would let that happen?"

Not when he's the source of happiness, just one look at his face and all of your weariness evaporated into thin air. Not only that, he's your source of strength and support.

He kisses your neck and jaw, "I'll try to always make you happy," he assures you.

At that moment, you realized he wants the same thing from you, that he wants you to be that person who does all that for him. Suddenly, you don't want to be afraid anymore, you want to be brave and strong for him.

"I'll always be happy when I'm with you," you tell him.

-

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[smellingofpoetry]

Just Thought You Should Know

Characters: Reader, Dean Winchester, Lisa Braeden

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: It was just one of those drunk calls until it wasn't anymore.

Warnings: angst, drunkness, song fic

Word count: 616

A/N: Hi!! I hope you enjoyed the idea of choosing the next fic. It was quite fun for me, even though I have to admit you managed to surprise me. I thought you would have chosen differently, but I'm happy to finally share with you this story. I always write with music, and this time I was listening to Betty Who's song, "Just Thought You Should Know". I love this song, and I'm proud of the result of this story. I hope you'll love it as much as I do. All errors are mine, like always. Enjoy! ❤

Dean watched the clock on his nightstand – 3 AM.

He grabbed his phone, dangerously buzzing towards the end of his nightstand.

Y/N – he read the name flashing on the screen and got up quickly before waking Lisa up. Dean walked out of the room, through the corridor, and down the stairs towards the kitchen, and only when he was in the secure of the four white walls he dared to answer.

“Hello?”

He could hear her breathing on the other side of the phone, so he waited a few seconds for an answer before trying again.

“Y/N, you there?”

“Y-yeah, just –” she paused “– give me a minute,” she said, and Dean could hear her trying to open the door and, a few moments later, the keys falling out of her hands, hitting the floor. “Shit!”

“You good?” he asked, hearing her take a long sigh, followed by the noise of something slipping. She probably had just given up and followed the keys on the floor if he knew her right.

“Maybe I’m too drunk, and I’m not doing this the right way –” Y/N admitted.

“Do you need me to call you someone?” He tried. “Charlie, maybe?”

“No, wait, let me finish.” She slurred a bit, waiting for the corridor of the condo to stop spinning. “I just wanted to tell you I’m so happy that you’re happy with her,” Y/N said seriously before a giggle escaped her lips. “Wait, no, that’s a lie.”

“I think you’re too drunk to have this conversation.”

“I have to tell you someday.”

“Tell me what?”

“The way I’m feeling.”

“Y/N –” Dean warned her, but she ignored him and started talking, too afraid to lose the courage that was flooding her veins.

“I can still feel you, you know. You’re everywhere.” She whispered, not knowing if she was admitting those things to him or finally acknowledging the ugly truth. “I can taste your lips –” she said and mindlessly graced her mouth “– hear your voice in my head, and I know –” her voice wavered. “I know that I should shut my mouth and just hung up the phone –” she furiously brushed away the tears that fell on her cheeks “– but I still want you.”

Dean closed his eyes and tightened his jaw at her words, her muffled cries on the other side not helping his heart.

What was he supposed to answer to that? After everything they went through? Especially after everything they went through.

Y/N wasn’t stupid, and even in her drunken state, she knew him enough not to expect much from Dean, especially when put on the spot like she had just done, but she couldn’t keep it to herself anymore. Not when looking at them together was hurting her that much.

“I just thought you should know.” She whispered, even though she knew he didn’t owe her anything, not anymore.

Dean sighed at her words and, for a split second while standing in the kitchen at 3 AM with her wavering voice in his ear and his heart biting a mile a minute, he had almost caved. He had almost let the words he had pushed away in the deep of his soul slip from his grith until he heard it. Small and dragged steps getting closer and closer, so he did the only reasonable thing to do.

He closed the call.

“Babe, everything okay?” Lisa came into the kitchen with her eyes still puffy from the sleep. Dean forced a smile on his face before walking towards her and kissing her forehead.

“Yeah, I just needed a glass of water.” He answered her, swallowing down the regret.

[osamusriceballs]

Sweet Treats with Inarizaki

Atsumu x Reader, Osamu x Reader, Kita x Reader, Suna x Reader, Aran x Reader - some parts include pet names as "princess", "sweetheart" etc.

Warnings: None

Words: ~ 2,3 k

About: Sweet, sweeter, sweetest Valentine's Day with our favorite Inarizaki boys~

A/n: Seijoh next probably! <3

Sweet Treats with Shiratorizawa

____________________

-Atsumu-

"Could you please tell me where we're going?"

"Can't do that, princess. Just relax and trust me."

You huff but still grin, knowing fully well that you can trust Atsumu with your life.

"Are you sure that I can trust you? A man who forgets to-"

"Don't. Don't mention it, sweetheart. That only happened once, and you promised you'd never mention it again."

His hand lands on your thigh, and he squeezes the flesh through the fabric in a playful yet warning way. His touch is reassuring though, and the rhythmic tapping of his fingers against your leg tells you exactly how excited he actually is.

"Okay, okay, I'll just patiently wait then."

"Good."

He keeps on driving in silence, occasionally humming to the songs that are in your shared playlist, and you're pretty sure after a while, that he's just driving around to confuse you. You sigh and reach for the blindfold that he made from his tie.

"Waiting patiently sucks."

"I'm sure it does."

A muscle under your eye twitches at his teasing comment and his smug smile- that you can't see but clearly hear when he's talking. You'll definitely kill him someday at this rate.

"Don't worry princess, we have finally arrived."

He stops the engine and squeezes your thigh one last time before you hear his car door slam close and yours opening after a few seconds. His hands suddenly touch your shoulders, and he gently runs them down on your arms until he's holding your hands. The small affectionate action causes goosebumps to appear on your skin, and you softly close your hands around his big ones with the skilled setter fingers that he has and allow him to guide you. He smoothly helps you out of the car, and you find yourself standing in front of him, probably just facing his chest and looking ridiculous while you impatiently wait for his next move.

"What now?" you reach out for him and rest your hands on his chest, and Atsumu is quick to press one of your hands flatly against his body, so that you can feel his fast heartbeat.

The small action makes your heart beat faster too- no matter how many times you’ve been close to him, he still has the same effect on you as on your first day together. "Just come with me." He releases your hand and wraps an arm around your waist to help you walk, but only after he dramatically ensured that the blindfold is still in place and that you really can't see anything.

He opens a door and helps you to step inside a building and together you take a few steps, before he suddenly pauses. "Okay, here we go." Atsumu's hand finally comes to the back of your head, and he carefully untangles the tie, and slowly lets it fall to the ground.

Your eyes grow big, when you see what he has prepared for you, and his face is covered in a wide grin when he leans down and kisses your cheek.

"Happy Valentine's Day, my princess.”

-Osamu-

"Samu, that's not funny."

"What? What did I do? I'm sure it was ‘Tsumu and not me."

You groan and press the bell one more time, knowing fully well that your boyfriend is not home. No one will come and open the door, and you'll just have to wait for him to come back, even though he told you to come at 2 pm- and now it’s exactly 2 pm.

"Where are you? I'm waiting in front of your apartment and it's cold. You should have told me to come later." You ramble and look down to the small present in your hand. At this rate he would have to work hard to earn your forgiveness and his present.

"What are you talking about? Just use the key, babe." He sounds relieved at your words, relieved that nothing has happened to you.

"What key? Did you leave it somewhere?"

You look under the onigiri shaped mat that was a gift from Atsumu that Osamu secretly found hilarious but felt too cool to confess yet ended up putting it in front of his door. However, there is no key under it.

"Samu, you're in so much trouble, I'm-"

"No, y/n. There is a key on your keyring. I put it on there a few days ago. Thought it was already overdue, 'm planning on marryin' ya anyways."

You’re perplex and stand there for a few seconds, his words heating up your cheeks at his confidence, and you involuntarily bring your hand to your chest to calm your heart.

"Y/n? Still there?"

"Yeah..."

"Got ya flustered there, huh?"

"Maybe." You take a deep breath and look for your keys- and there it is. Silver and brand new, only waiting for you to use it on the luxurious door to his apartment. You quickly enter and inhale the familiar comforting scent of Osamu’s home- that smells like your home too.

"Get yourself comfortable. I got a Valentine's special planned for ya later. Can't wait to see ya later.”

"Hurry, or else I will mess with your kitchen supplies. Or eat your yoghurt."

"Don't you dare, you know that I moved out so 'Tsumu can't eat my stuff anymore, and now yer startin' to act like him already?"

You open the fridge, knowing fully well that he would be able to hear the sound, and he groans at the other end of the line.

"Babe-"

"Just kidding, Samu. I'm only getting something to drink. Hurry, so that we can have the rest of the day for us."

"Okay. Love you, babe.”

“I love you too, Samu.”

-Kita-

"I'm glad that you're coming with me today."

"Of course! It's not like I had other plans today." You smile and look at his side-profile- he's too handsome for his own good. You internally swoon and when he suddenly turns to your direction, you quickly look at the road in front of you again.

"Is there something wrong?"

"No, everything's fine." You shake your head and try to ignore the feeling of affection towards him that threatens to overtake you at the concern in his voice. He hums at your response, and gestures to a sign in front of you. "There. That's the place." You focus your eyes on the field right before you where the sunlight is kissing the green healthy strawberry plants that seem to have no end in every direction.

"Let's go." You both exit the car- and you try to avoid looking at his face when he suddenly takes your hand to show you the right way, because you're sure that you look flustered as heck- and get the boxes to start picking some strawberries.

You both work in comfortable silence for a while, just picking the ripe fruits, occasionally sharing some remarks about strawberries and other things- and you enjoy it. You love spending time with him, and you wish this moment would last forever, that he would always take you with him for small things like this. That you could be maybe just a bit closer to him and that he would feel the same towards you.

After a while you both take a break and decide to eat some of the strawberries on a nearby bench that Kita luckily spotted. You both laugh and watch how the sun slowly starts to sink, covering the whole field is in golden light now and making it seem like it's glowing. You can't stop staring at the scenery, until you hear Kita clear his throat next to you.

You look at him confused, and then he suddenly takes your hand into his. He's close, really close, and the hat on his head is carelessly thrown away only for him to bring his face even closer to yours. You're frozen, unable to move at the sudden proximity of him-

"Y/n? Would you consider this a date?"

"A date?" Your voice is squeaky when you echo his words, but his sincere look shows you the answer is something that he needs to know now.

"Don't worry, Shinsuke. I know that you don't look at me in that way." You reassuringly squeeze his hand and try to ignore the flutter of your heart. You basically force yourself to let his hand go and try to stand up to create some distance, but he refuses to let your hand go.

"Y/n. I heard you talking about how much you'd love to pick some strawberries, so I thought it would be a great thing to do on Valentine's Day. I like you- a lot. That's why I wanted to come here with you. I want to do all the things together that you like, I want to show you how much you mean to me."

His eyes don't leave yours for a second, but you can feel his hand slightly shaking, a clear sign that he's nervous. That THE Kita Shinsuke is nervous for probably the first time in his life. And that because of you.

"Shinsuke-"

"Can we consider this as our first date? I'll court you and plan more dates, I promise to make you happy because you make me happy too."

"You sound like an old man and a child at the same time, Shinsuke." You giggle, and he manages to smile at your teasing words, and that's when a sudden warmth spreads through your body. You bravely lean forward and press a kiss to his cheek- only to see him blush at the sudden act of intimacy.

"Yes, Shinsuke. Our first date."

-Suna-

"Rin? I'm home!"

The door closes behind you and you sigh relieved when warm air engulfs you. "I'm in the living room." The surprisingly loud yell of your fiancé catches you off-guard and you quickly get rid of your coat and shoes to join him.

The living room is lit by fairy lights and candles that spread a lovingly sweet scent throughout the room. The couch is occupied by several pillows and soft blankets, and the table is filled with some take-out food on the one side, and some desserts in red boxes with hearts on them on the other side. A ridiculously huge bouquet of flowers rests on the table as well, and the big TV that hangs on the wall is on standby already.

You watch the scene for a few moments, too overwhelmed by the whole impression, and you take a deep breath to calm your heart. You're full of affection for your sweet fiancé, who made the effort to prepare all of this for you. And there he comes, in comfy clothes with his signature lazy smile on his face- the expression he always wears when he knows that he did something well.

"So? Whaddaya say?"

"I love it." You take two steps and close the distance between the two of you, and he quickly opens his arms to embrace you in a hug.

"I love you so much, Rintarou. Thank you for doing this."

"I love you too, my sweet girl. I got inspired by our first date."

"You mean when we just watched some movies and talked all night?"

You pull back to look at his face and see a slight blush covering his cheeks. You find it cute and adorable that even after five years of being together he still gets flustered by you so easily.

"Hmm, exactly that. I made a list of the movies we watched back then, and I thought we could recreate that night. But an upgraded version of it. You can cuddle me, if you want to."

"Oh, how generous of the great Suna Rintarou. You're getting soft now that we're hitting the five years mark." You grin and stand on your tiptoes to press a kiss against his lips, and you feel him smile when he returns the kiss.

"Only for you, sweet girl. Only for you."

-Aran-

"I got something for you."

"Oh?" You close the book in your hand and focus your attention on the handsome man in front of you. He sheepishly scratches the back of his head and hands you a small box with a golden brand name printed on it.

"Ojiro! That must have cost a fortune!" your jaw drops when you take the box in your hand, and you stare at it for a few moments in sheer disbelief. Your gaze flickers from the box to his face, but he doesn't seem sorry at all.

"I want to spoil my princess. It's our first Valentine's Day." He nonchalantly states and his words leave you speechless. You slowly proceed to open the box, and there is a beautiful golden necklace inside with a small heart attached to it. You take it out of the box carefully, making sure not to damage it, and when you hold it up you see both of your initials engraved on the back. You look at Aran with wide eyes, and he seems unable to hold eye contact at this point. "So... I hope you like it?"

"It's perfect." You quickly get on your feet and stand right before him, and that's when he's looking at your face again, his golden eyes shining happily at your words. "Really?"

"Yes! Can you put it on me?"

He nods quickly and his big hands cover yours when he takes the necklace out of your hands. You turn around and move your hair out of the way, and his fingers softly come around your neck to put the golden accessory on you. It takes him a few attempts to close the lock, but when he's one he presses a quick kiss to the exposed skin on the side of your neck.

You shiver at the sudden contact and turn around to look at Aran, and his gaze shortly flickers down to the charm adorning your neck. "How does it look?" He seems to struggle to find words, one of his hands cupping your face to look deep into your eyes before he whispers "Beautiful," and finally presses a kiss to your lips.

[sebbianas]

i have finally sat down and did the math so here’s all the speak now songs and what marauders ship i think of for each and what lyric stands out to me

Mine - wolfstar - braced myself for the goodbye ‘cause that's all I've ever known then you took me by surprise you said, "I'll never leave you alone"

Sparks fly - jegulus - it's just wrong enough to make it feel right

Back to december - jegulus - you gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye

Speak now - nobleflower - you wish it was me, you wish it was me dont you

Dear john - lily about snape - you are an expert at “sorry” and keeping lines blurry

Mean - mary’s theme song - someday i’ll be big enough so you cant hit me (her outliving all the people who tormented her)

The story of us - black brothers - this is looking like a contest of who can act like they care less but I liked it better when you were on my side

Never grow up - black brothers/black sisters - I won't let nobody hurt you won't let no one break your heart and even though you want to please, try to never grow up

Enchanted - pandalily - my thoughts will echo your name until i see you again

Better than revenge - rosekiller (in their toxic era) - you might have him but i always get the last word

Innocent - regulus’ theme song - today is never too late to be brand new

Haunted - jegulus - stood there and watched you walk away from everything we had but I still mean every word I said to you

Last Kiss - jegulus - And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe

Long Live - marauders to each other - I had the time of my life with you

Ours - marylily - seems like there's always someone who disapprove they'll judge it like they know about me and you and the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do the jury's out, but my choice is you

Superman - (not marauders but) drarry - And you'll leave, got places to be, and I'll be okay I always forget to tell you, "I love you" I loved you from the very first day

Electric touch - dorlene - all I know is this could either break my heart or bring it back to life got a feelin' your electric touch could fill this ghost town up with life and I want you now, wanna need you forever

When emma falls in love - james’ theme song - when Emma falls apart, it's when she's alone she takes on the pain and bears it on her own cause when Emma falls in love, she's in it for keeps she won't walk away unless she knows she absolutely has to leave

I can see you - jegulus - and I could see you being my addiction you can see me as a secret mission

Castles crumbling - sirius after the prank - power went to my head and I couldn't stop ones I loved tried to help, so I ran them off and here I sit alone behind walls of regret falling down like promises that I never kept

Foolish one - rosekiller - you will say you had the best of intentions and maybe I will finally learn my lesson

Timeless - jily - I'm gonna love you when our hair is turnin' gray we'll have a cardboard box of photos of the life we've made and you'll say, "Oh my, we really were timeless"

[lostalleycat]

"If only some people can have it, it's not happiness. It's just nonsense. Happiness is something anyone can have."

Monster / 怪物 — dir. Hirokazu Kore-eda (2023)

This is one of the most beautiful and devastating stories about queerness that relate so painfully much to me. I feel completely obliterated.

There's a world you're living in. No one else has your part. All God's children in the wind take it in and blow real hard. —There's A World, Sufjan Stevens (2023)

But here, in our place we have for the day, can we stay a while and listen for heaven? —Heaven, Mitski (2023)

And nothing comforts me the same as my brave friend who says, "I don't care if forever never comes. 'Cause I'm holding out for that teenage feeling." —That Teenage Feeling, Neko Case (2006)

Everybody finds love in the end. —桜流し Sakura Nagashi, Utada Hikaru (2012)

Was it never enough that we should simply want to be together? —Heavenly Creatures, Wolf Alice (2014)

And I've been meaning to tell you, I think your house is haunted. Your dad is always mad, and that must be why. I think you should come live with me and we could be pirates and you won't have to cry, or hide in the closet. Just like a folk song, our love will be passed on. —Seven, Taylor Swift (2020)

I know you're afraid of living in pain, but you'll be okay. We'll find out a way. Nobody to blame. You're here and you're safe. Whenever you need me, I'll always be there. —Coming Home, Isyana Sarasvati (2023)

When I die of love, I want to be settled down into a fiery crown amongst the flowery days. —Flowery days, Christine and the Queens (2023)

 いつか 世界は目を醒まして  Someday the world will wake up わたしたちを照らして and shine on us. —Sleep Among Endives, Ichiko Aoba (2021)

Rest in liberation, Yori, Minato.

[burplewrites]

saudade | tamarack & qiu

𓆉 | fandom: our life: now & forever

𓆉 | characters: tamarack, qiu, reader

𓆉 | word count: 1,075 words 5,946 characters

𓆉 | a/n: this story is sort of in qiu's pov, and about grief and stuff!! i don't think its too sad, just an experience but you have been warned!

𓆉 | quick summary: y/n passed. the world just needs to learn how to deal.

saudade is an emotional state of melancholic or profoundly nostalgic longing for a beloved yet absent something or someone.

“and you two are gonna grow up someday and i’m gonna grow up too, but that’s never gonna stop us from being the same age. cool.” that’s what they said, eight years ago, when they first met y/n and tamarack for the first time after the duo waltzed their way into their life.

ever since that fateful day, the three were friends, best friends. even with the little break of their friendship from ‘personal problems and moody feelings’ as y/n used to say, y/n brought them together again and reminded them why they were friends in the first place.

their friendship only got better from then on, and they committed to bettering themselves and each other, talking about problems, and about random thoughts that entered their minds. at least, that’s what qiu thought. he thought that they all told each other everything, all their stupid secrets, random thoughts in the middle of the night, things that would be considered too much information for other people. so why didn’t y/n tell them, not tamarack or him, anything about what they were going through? why didn’t they say anything at all?

they never expressed pain, or acted like they were suffering at all. they were always smiling, expressing their positive emotions with not a care in the world. qiu loved them for that. they had been crushing on each other for a while, qiu knew that, y/n knew that, and even tamarack, who had to watch the whole thing unfold in front of her, knew that. they just never got together, and now they would never get the chance to.

it was only a year ago when their life changed. when tamarack yelled in the middle of the night, alarming everyone out of their drowsy state, y/n was having trouble breathing, and was trying to get upstairs to their mother's room without disturbing their best friends on the couch. their limbs started giving out, making them fall to the floor. that whole night was a blur for qiu and tamarack alike. watching their best friend’s mom trying to help y/n take some breaths as they all cried, seeing the tiredness in y/n’s eyes, like they’ve been fighting this for years and was finally starting to give up, and opal’s sobs as she begged her only child to keep trying, to keep breathing. tamarack clutched hard onto qiu that day, the shock causing her to freeze up.

hearing their best friend's last words, being so weak, so quiet, yet so genuine. it was like y/n trying to fully get everything out like they knew this would be the end.

"hey its okay, you're okay… you're okay. i love you guys so much, more than you'll ever know."

that's what they whispered, as the paramedics took them away. a smile never left their face, even with the ventilator on their face and the paramedics checking their vitals on the way out the door. they died on the way to the hospital. even to the end, they were caring for others.

opal changed as a person after that. having to bury your only child, someone who you watched grow up, someone who you experienced their good days and bad days, and was just expected to keep moving. but that was impossible, how could she? her world stopped that day but everyone kept moving, the world kept spinning at the same speed it always did, no faster, no slower.

but y/n was gone.

tamarack put her whole being into her cello practice since y/n always seemed to like it when she played for them. she even played a song she wrote at the funeral; a song that was supposed to be for her best friend. one that they were somewhat writing together. she still tried being normal, helping opal with whatever she needed, but never trying to pressure her. it was tamarack's form of escape. if she could be in the house that y/n was in, surrounded by all the things that made them, them… that would be enough. it had to be enough. qiu simply regressed into themself. it was like they were back to when they were fourteen. they stayed outside sitting by their ‘hideout’; hiding away from the world. tamarack tried to stay with him some days, when qiu wanted the company and couldn’t deal with being alone without someone to talk to, someone who understood, but other times it was too overwhelming and they preferred to be alone.

life changed. golden grove moved on, and people found other things to talk about, but sometimes things brought them back to that day one year ago.

especially today, the one-year anniversary of y/n’s death. three hundred and sixty-five days without them. it was early morning, around five am, and qiu biked to the cemetery to just be with them alone. they knew tamarack would be coming in the morning after she woke up, and opal would be coming in the afternoon, so this was the best option. plus they couldn’t sleep.

qiu never knew they could cry that much. every time they came to visit, to talk about something exciting that happened, or something weird, or anything really, they would end up breaking into sobs each time, gasping for air by the time their tears ran out.

‘why did you even have to come into my life if you were going to leave it partway?’

that was a question that they asked themselves multiple times and always felt bad for thinking about it after. they knew tamarack felt the same. tamarack was the first of the two to mention that thought out loud.

but it was true, wasn’t it? they never regretted having y/n in their life. everyone's life shone so much brighter with them there, like the sun on a summer day, but with the sun gone it gets darker. the sun always comes back, but y/n wouldn't. y/n was dead. they were gone, and they were going to stay gone.

no matter how much opal begged, how much they all hoped and dreamt, y/n was not coming back. they were never coming back. they had been gone for the last three hundred sixty-five days, they would be gone for the next year, and the years after that. and nothing could change that.

so as qiu sat there, laying by their grave while talking about everything and anything, all they could really do was hope y/n was there and listening.

[brookeluvs]

୨୧⊹₊ ˚ ----- 𝐁𝐅 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐎 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 (fluff version ୨୧)

ʷᵉˡᶜᵒᵐᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵐʸ ᵖᵃᵍᵉ !! song link !! summary: boyfriend matt sturniolo headcanons ౨ no gender specified

୨୧⊹₊ ˚ ----- 𝐒𝐔𝐏𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓

(bf matt's love language +emotional moments)

first of all matt would be the most loving caring boyfriend you'd ever have. he will always take care of you, and make sure your okay. he loves hugging you whenever he gets the chance (we luv a clingy bf.) he always has to have some kind of physical contact with you. holding your hand, hugging you, rubbing your arm, hugging your waist, kissing you; it has to be something. so with that he hates when you go into your "silent, non-touchy, moments" whenever you guys get into a argument. eventually you'll let him in, I mean you can't help but hug on him. he's the type to cry when you cry. he hates to see you in pain or un-happy, he will do literally anything to make you forget about what your crying about or whatever is hurting you. he hugs you or cuddles you really close and just repeats that you'll be okay and that he's right there with you.

୨୧⊹₊ ˚ ----- 𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐎𝐑

(bf matt's humor)

he always makes sarcastic jokes, or come back with sarcastic answers. somedays it makes you laugh and somedays it just pisses you off.

"look matt the cat is meowing !!" you say pointing at the cat. "ya think?" he says rolling his eyes smiling. "whatever matt.." you playfully hit him.

he loves to see you kinda annoyed at him sometimes. he thinks you look cute when your slightly pissed off. he literally can't help but let out a small smile when you give him a annoyed glare.

୨୧⊹₊ ˚ ----- 𝐏𝐄𝐓 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒

(bf matt's pet names for you)

babe/baby

cutie/cutie-patootie

your name

my love (whenever he's feeling romantical)

my one and only (when he's feeling lowk protective)

you can't tell this man won't call you honey every now and then.

୨୧⊹₊ ˚ ----- 𝐃𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐘 𝐎𝐂𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒

(daily occurrences that would occur with bf matt)

if you matt was on tour you'd get daily check in's. he'll ask you if your okay, how's your day, if you miss him, and he'll tell you how the tour went. you could hear him smile through the phone. he'll always end his calls with, "i miss you..like alot but I'll see you soon enough !!" usually chris interrupts the call with saying something for example "you guys should get married." "this kid matt is literally obsessed with you", and nick would have to tell him to "shut-up, and to let the two love birds talk."

lots of cuddling, and movie watching.

lots and lots of kisses.

playfights.

watching cooking/baking shows together.

baking/cooking together.

୨୧⊹₊ ˚ ----- 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐃𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐇𝐈𝐌 𝐔𝐏𝐒𝐄𝐓/𝐒𝐀𝐃

things that you do that make him upset/sad

when you talk down on yourself. he hates whenever you pick yourself apart in-front of him, he thinks your the prettiest girl in the world. "your not even fat/skinny, your the perfect size to me, and that's all the matters.. okay?" he doesn't say this in any harsh tone just natural, the only time he gets upset is when you don't listen to him on his words and still pick on yourself.

whenever you talk to any other guy. that's one of his bad traits. he is overly protective. he doesn't want you talking to any guy, sometimes he doesn't like when you talk to his own brothers. he tends to hide this trait but sometimes it comes out. he always has that one facial expression, that's obvious that he's upset. he stands his arms folded licking his upper teeth giving a death glare to however your talking to. matt is somewhat an insecure guy himself in someways and somedays he thinks anyone you talk to is more attractive, and better than him. that's why he gets so antsy.

when you get upset at him for no reason (I feel like this is pretty self-explanatory)

୨୧⊹₊ ˚ ----- 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐃𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐇𝐈𝐌 𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐘

things that you do that make him happy

whenever you play with his hair.

you get all clingy and cuddly

seeing you smile

seeing you talk about something your passionate about

when your confident

whenever you make jokes with him.

comment any other headcanons about bf matt !!

[ckret2]

I believe that everyone's personal perfect favorite band is some weird obscure thing that will never have major commercial success or top the charts.

No one's personal unique idiosyncratic musical tastes will perfectly overlap; they'll meander across genres, resonate with specific individual chords, specific individual lyrics, particular voices, particular instruments, particular rhythms and song structures and keys etc. etc.

Super popular musical artists are really good at hitting a lot of elements that a lot of people like—they overlap with elements found in many people's musical tastes, which makes it easier for a whole lot of people to enjoy them—but i don't believe they hit most people's EXACT personal tastes. In order to have that mainstream success, they CAN'T be that particular.

This means that for a musical artist to hit any one person's tastes perfectly, its sound must be so particular that it leaves out most other people's particular tastes.

Somewhere out there is a band so unusual and distinct that it will never reach major mainstream success, just because it doesn't quite overlap enough with what other people want to hear—but for you, for you personally, it will do everything you've ever wanted music to do. It will be the most amazing thing you've ever heard. You might be the only one who thinks so, but that's okay. This band isn't for your friends. It's for YOU.

If all your favorite bands and favorite songs are fairly popular, there's room for you to dig deeper. There's a band out there doing the things you love your current favorites for doing, but it's doing them even more, with fewer of the parts you don't care as much about, with elements you love from separate artists but have never seen a single artist doing at the same time.

Right now, your favorite musician has 400 listeners a month on spotify or 31 followers on youtube or a gig in a dive bar that eight people are listening to, and your favorite song has <1,000 streams, and you don't even know it yet. Go forth. Search for them. You'll find them someday.