#and 2) going to the hospital literally wouldn’t have helped me. it would never have changed my recovery time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jtl-fics · 1 year

Text

Fluent Freshman - Part 28

FF does not like being on pain medication.

Everything feels floaty and it is so hard to focus on anything around him.

He’s almost glad that his Gran has given him something to focus on that something being helping her sell her lie to the Foxes that she only knows Polish. Coach Wymack must know but the man is a steel trap and FF finds himself envying his Gran that HER secret keeper is Coach Wymack.

“Smithy! My sweet beautiful idiot!” Nicky cries when Gran gives Wymack the OK for them to come back in. FF finds himself on the receiving end of 2 forehead kisses and a kiss to each of his cheeks from Nicky. “Next time you see a crazy mafia hitman looking to kidnap me you just grab me and RUN.” He orders pointedly, “No more cool guy shit where you take ‘em out in the weird sex alley.” He runs his fingers through FF’s hair and…

Yeah it’s okay that Nicky is the one that knows.

Nicky is so nice.

“What about Aaron?” FF asks.

“If Romero could grab Aaron when he is in whacky inflatable tube mode then I don’t think he’d be taken out by you and Andrew.” Nicky says with a watery smile.

“Hey.” Aaron’s voice is offended.

“Learn to dance at a club already. We’ve been going for years.” Nicky shoots back but never takes his eyes off of FF’s face.

“I dance just fine. I’m better than Kevin.” Aaron argues.

“Hey.” Kevin’s voice is offended.

“You are better than Kevin, but that’s not a real standard of good.” Nicky dismisses, “Regardless, next time grab me and I’ll grab Aaron and the three of us can hide literally anywhere other than the weird sex alley. We could go to the back room with Roland or, if it means you not ending up in the hospital with a stab wound, I would even tolerate hiding down in the straight swingers club in the basement.” Nicky says.

He sees Andrew and Captain Neil tense off to the side.

Oh, that’s right.

Oh fun another lie for him to focus on instead of feeling floaty. Gran always talked about the virtue of telling the truth but the only thing set free would be Nicky in a club that he’s not supposed to know about.

“I wouldn’t ask that of you Nicky.” FF says instead.

Nicky laughs and kisses his cheek one more time. “You’re my favorite family member now. Sorry Aaron, you’ve made me endure the horrors of a heterosexual relationship for too long.” Nicky says stroking FF’s face as he looks up to where FF assumes Aaron is.

“Hey.” Aaron says in the exact same way he said earlier.

“Andrew-“ Nicky starts but is cut off.

“I don’t care.”

“That’s the spirit.” Nicky says, “Neil-“

“Nicky, I also don’t care.”

“At least you have one another to support each other.”

“Wait, what about me?” Kevin asks.

“You won’t even LEARN the family language Kevin, you were NEVER in the running for my favorite.” Nicky dismisses and doesn’t bother to turn back to the “So Smithy is my favorite family member now with Aras coming in second.”

Two things strike FF in the wake of family conversation.

First, when in the world did Kevin get here? Why is he here? Is he going to ask the doctors to run tests on FF to figure out stealth mode?

Second, Nicky just used his Gran’s nickname. The nickname that causes FF no small amount of embarrassment. It was a youthful indiscretion! He had thought he understood Lithuanian quite well! He had wanted to impress his Great Gran and his Gran with his knowledge.

“You’re looking pale Smith, do you need more pain medication?” Captain Neil asks.

“No, I’m fine.” He is pretty sure that pain meds can’t numb the psychological pain of his friends hearing about his youthful mistakes and he doesn’t care how bad his stomach is going to hurt he wants to only take the absolute minimum amount of pain meds required to get through this so he can stop floating.

Having friends nearby makes it so much easier.

Conversations go on with him and around him. He’s tired still from everything and when a nurse comes in to try and give him more pain medication he declines. All present in the room except Gran try to convince him to take it but he declines all but the most minor amount to take the edge off.

He finally realizes that Kevin had not been with them and asks why the hell he’s here. He gets an answer that makes him reconsider being on any pain medication at all because it doesn’t really make any sense. Why in the world is Kevin telling him not to trust the nutritionist?

Neil lets him know that the FBI are going to be coming around at some point to talk to him. He says that Agent Browning is a dick but generally fine and that there will be a local agent Iruma Matsumoto stopping by before him, probably today. He looks right at Andrew and says “Yeah, I’ll talk with them about how Romero stabbed me.” Andrew lets out an amused puff of laughter that makes FF feel like he might be doing alright at this friendship thing.

He apologizes to Andrew that he can’t make the pie today and gets a flick to his ear.

He finds out that he slept through all of Saturday and that it is Sunday morning. Finds out that his Gran and Wymack had stayed over at the Columbia house last night and that Wymack has him excused from his classes this week. He also finds out that Nicky has given his grandma a key to the house in Columbia so she could stay there while she’s visiting him.

He apologizes to Nicky for messing up the clothes he’d let him borrow and earns another flick to the ear from Nicky.

Wymack hands him a new phone that Nicky has apparently set up for him. His lip quirks up slightly when he sees that Nicky registered it as ’Smithy’s phone’. Neil shows him some stuff since he has the same phone model but Andrew rolls his eyes.

“You’ve barely figured out how to set anything on your phone Junkie. You still haven’t even set a screen lock.” He says as he pulls Neil back from FF’s space.

“I’ve figured out how to change the notification ping.” Neil argues but lets himself be pulled away and if Andrew keeps his arm around Neil afterwards? No one comments on that.

He translates things for his Gran when it seems important for her to be able to respond to and helps Nicky with some pronunciations.

He falls asleep a couple times and wakes up to his friends and teammates in all sorts of different configurations. Nicky gets him some good sugar-free Jell-O from the nurses while Aaron smacks Kevin upside the head when Kevin complains that it’s not good for him and not part of the diet he’s making to get FF back on the Court ASAP. “He’s gotta be on a clear liquid diet for 24 hours after his surgery.” Aaron hisses.

“Why does it have to be clear? I can put it in a blender but it won’t be clear.” Kevin grumbles.

“He’s not going to be on puree’d food for at least two weeks idiot.” Aaron smacks his head again.

“Stop that.”

He hears from Wymack the other Freshman Dealer won’t be returning and that Sheena is now their only Dealer and she does not do defense well. Kevin’s disapproval for the Jell-O cups only grows stronger in light of this news. His grumbling only stops when Gran looks at him and says “Maybe someone should help you pull that stick out of your ass young man.” In her nicest most grandmotherly voice.

When Kevin turns to FF for a translation Nicky beats him to it, “She said a handsome young man like you shouldn’t ruin your face with worries.” He says without a hint that he’s lying.

Kevin preens at the grandmotherly approval of his looks and FF gets to know that he, Nicky and his grandma all have lying in common.

Eventually it’s lunch time and the natural hunger of college athlete boys trumps anything else. Kevin won’t eat anything at the cafeteria since he doesn’t trust the nutritionist so they agree to head out of the hospital to grab food. He’s more tired than hungry so he tells his Gran to go with them. She pats his face and promises she’ll be back with some clear soup for him per the Doctor’s order and despite Kevin’s grumbling that he could make a clear protein shake.

His Gran kisses his forehead and tells him that she’ll be back soon and that he should rest as much as he can.

***

FF can’t sleep.

He tried.

He really did.

But without the noise of everyone else his mind keeps going back to the last time he was in a hospital. He closes his eyes and he can see Gran’s pale face when she tells him that his dad didn’t make it and the tears when she tells him neither-

He can’t sleep.

So he gets up against medical advice and decides to go on a walk. He’s not been connected to any of the monitoring equipment since he had first woken up, just the IV keeping him hydrated. FF decides he wants to get his dad’s leather back because it would make him feel better. The leather jacket has weight that would keep his feet strictly on the ground and it’s something his Gran had given to him when he went off to college so that he could keep his dad close. He could call a nurse but it feels like he shouldn’t distract them with something as stupid as getting him his dad’s jacket so he doesn’t have a panic attack.

So he lets himself slip into the background and heads towards the nurse station. He thinks that might be where they’re holding his belongings. It’s a good first stop if nothing else.

He can’t help but notice a strange number of men in suits but figures that maybe they’re just there to talk to people who seem to have gotten caught up in some sort of mass casualty incident.

He makes it to the nurse station and when a whole 5 minutes goes by without a single nurse clocking that he exists he considers speaking up until he sees a nurse bagging up some clothes, slapping on a label, and heading away.

It’s nice when things work out for him.

Another suit wearing man comes up and a different nurse sees him there immediately and comes up, “What can I help you with?” She asks.

“I’m looking for someone with the last name Smith, he has a stab wound?” The man asks.

“You’re going to have to be more specific.” The nurse responds with exasperation but FF is already almost out of earshot when he hears it because he’s following the nurse with the bag.

He follows her down the hallway and she thankfully takes an elevator instead of going down the stairs because FF doesn’t know how he would have gotten his IV stand down with him.

FF walks in with her and he watches her slump as the doors slide close. Relaxing like most people do when they think they’re alone. Her shoulders go straight back when the elevator opens again and he follows after her.

He follows her to a door that she unlocks and proceeds to enter and FF sees a room full of the same bags with belongs all tagged with a last name and a room number. “Christ, why are there so many fucking Smiths in here right now?” She grumbles but takes him straight to the S section and he sees his own ‘Smith’ and room number.

He grabs it and heads out the door before the nurse and heads into the elevator.

His phone pings with a text message. He opens it and sees a text from an unknown number.

“Come to the Cafeteria. - IM”

FF stares at his phone for a few minutes before the initials click.

Iruma Matsumoto, the local FBI agent who was coming to talk to him today according to Captain Neil. It’s weird to be texted like this but this is the first time he’s ever had to talk to the FBI. Maybe it’s normal? He doesn’t really want to bother Captain Neil about what getting interrogated by the FBI is like since Captain Neil is out at lunch.

He decides to go to the Cafeteria.

FF follows the directory in the elevator and then the arrows that point him towards the cafeteria. He takes a moment to pull his dad’s jacket out and it does help him feel better. He realizes the McDonald’s toy is still in his pocket and thinks that he really should probably turn that over to Agent Matsumoto.

When he gets to the cafeteria he sees even more of those guys in suits and then he sees a well dressed Japanese man sitting by himself at a table. FF has a moment where he thinks ‘Wow that FBI agent sure does look like a member of the Yakuza.’ Before he squashes it because ‘OMG that’s such a fucking racist thing to think. Thoughts from the abyss are the worst and Agent Matsumoto is probably a perfectly nice guy.’

He takes a seat in front of the man who is surrounded by two other of the men in black he’s seen. Oh that guy was probably looking for him to bring him here so they could have the talk.

None of the men seem to notice him and FF realizes that he’s still in stealth mode. He sets the bag with the rest of his clothes to the side and clears his throat.

Three sets of eyes are on him immediately and FF breathes through the anxiety as the two men at either side of Agent Matsumoto seem to reach for something at their holsters.

“Captain Neil said you wanted to talk to me.” He says.

Captain Matsumoto raises a hand and the two men on either side of him return to an at ease position.

***

Ichirou Moriyama could admit to himself that he had been startled when a young man seemingly appeared out of nowhere in front of him without any warning. He sees a bulge in the man’s pocket that says that he’s armed and he could have done anything before bringing attention to himself. He had men throughout the hospital and no one has spotted Wesninski or any of his cohorts but they had their eyes peeled for the uninvolved civilian who had taken out Jackson on his own and had assisted Wesninski’s guard dog in taking out Romero.

Interesting.

Ichirou clasps his hands together in over the cafeteria table.

“Yes, let’s talk.” He agrees.

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

@i-have-three-feelings @blep-23 @dreamerking27 @andreilsmyreligion @belodensetdust @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world @obscureshipsandchips @booklover242 @whataboutmyfries @sahturnos @pluto-pepsi @dreamerthinker @passinhosdetartaruga @leftunknownheart @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme @tayspots @nick-scar @crazy-fangirl2524 @blue-jos10 @stabbyfoxandrew @splishsplashyouropinionistrash @sammichly @the-broken-pen @bitchesdoweknowu @very-small-flower @ghostlyboiii @its-a-paxycab @bisexual-genderfluid-fan @cheesecookie @theoneandonlylostsock @foxsoulcourt @blueleys @adverbialstarlight @elia-nna @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner @nikodiangel @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat @hallucinatedjosten @satanic-foxhole-court @vexingcosmos @chalilodimun @insectsgetcooked @angry-kid-with-no-money @queer-crows @lillyndra @themundanemudperson @readertodeath @apileofpillows @mortalsbowbeforeme @hellomynameismoo @next-level-mess @youreonlylow @interstellarfig @notprocrastinatingatalltoday @percyjacksonfan3 @queenofcrazy27 @bsmr261 @ghostlyscares @spencellio @adinthedarkroom @harpymoth @sufferingjustalilbit @anxietymoss @oddgreyhound @ohno-myhyperfixation-itsbroken @ken22789 @atiredvampire @isoldescorner @not--a--pipedream @azure-wing @bushbees @roonilwazlib-main @crumplelush @foldedaces-paperbirds @thesenseinnonsense @let-tyrants-fear @ketchupandfries @legowerewolf @deadlydodos @but-we-respect-his-craft @cariniqe @zanypersonapricotbiscuit @lesbian-blackbeard @lesbiansupernatural @silvermasquerade @thepeachfuzz @minniemariex @kazoo-the-demjin @gaypomegranate @ji-nk-ies @neilimfinejosten @omgrubelangel @itsyouitsmeorpheuseurydice @percabethotplove @cozyrosykay @foxyatlas @theoneandonlylostsock @cindersapsecrets

The requests to be added to the tag list keep being spread out across a few different areas. If I missed you please just ask again in the replies I promise I just missed you.

As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you didn’t get a notification there might be something switched around in your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?

If you didn’t get notified on the last part it’s probably because I used tumblr mobile to post and our most beloved garbage fire site just didn’t like that.

#Fluent Freshman AU #Guess who accidentally took FF's phone?#It's Neil #He realizes it halfway through the grocery store run #Sorry FF your grandma is now the Monster Grandma #She's got knitting projects planned for each of them #She's already asked about allergies #She jokingly tells Nicky she'll knit Kevin a muzzle because he's commented on the amount of butter she uses four times #He always shuts up when he eats it at least #Neil is blissfully unaware that he has FF's phone and FF has his #Some poor Moriyama grunts are wandering through the hospital having to check every single Smith room for the one they're looking for #Ichirou was planning some mild intimidation shit on Neil #But was hampered because JFC why so many Smiths #Does Ichirou know Smith's first name?#Perhaps #Does he use it?#Probably not #AFTG #AFTG AU #AFTG OC #Andreil #FF - Pt. 28

396 notes · View notes

pumpk1n-writes · 1 year

Note

Hi, can you please do part 2 of 𝘋𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 like where the baby is born?

Thanks

Don’t Make Me Leave ~ Part Two

➥ in which Billy and the fem!reader are best friends and he accidentally gets her pregnant. {ft. pregnancy, fluff, mentions of sex, your author knowing nothing about childbirth other than what they watched on Gilmore Girls, like… childbirth. If you’re squeamish I suggest not reading this because there’s birth. Of a child. I mean maybe it’s a child. Idk. Extremely ooc for like, all of them}

A/N: I realized through writing/brief research of this that I’m never going to have kids. Like ever. I’ll have cats. Also this is literally so bad because I have no idea how to go about this, but enjoy I guess.

Part One || Word Count ~ 773 words

Taglist ~ @wasawattpadkid @billysbae

It was the middle of the night. Sidney and Stu had basically moved in to your house in preparation for the baby. Billy and Sid moved cautiously around each other, a dangerous dance, but they’d managed to put aside their differences and tentatively live together. For now.

The clock read 12:47 when you left your bed, the decision to get something to eat fresh in your head. You’d made it down the stairs when you felt a something unlike anything you’d felt before. Sharp pain shot up your abdomen and into your stomach, and you clutched the counter.

“Billy!” You called upstairs, hoping he was awake, or at least sleeping lightly. “Billy, get your ass down here!”

Billy didn’t come, but Stu did. He took one look at your pale face and bolted back upstairs. You could hear a commotion, like he’d thrown something at your boyfriend. A few moments later both boys were racing down to you.

“Get,” you took a deep breath through the contractions. “Go get Sid.”

Stu nodded and ran back upstairs, and Billy grabbed your hand. “Is it time?”

“I think so, these are the contractions I think.”

A drop of sweat trickled down your neck, followed by another, then another.

“Wait for Stu to help you get in the car, I’ll call the hospital and get the bag.”

You frowned at him, “I can get in the car by myself, Loomis.” You took one pained step, then nearly doubled over. “Never mind.”

Your dad rushed out of his room, looking furious that he hadn’t been told yet. “I’m taking you to the hospital, Stu can drive Billy separately.”

“Sir—”

“She’s my daughter. I’m taking her to the hospital.”

“And it’s my baby!”

“Fine then, get in the car, but hurry your ass up, young man.”

Your dad, being a cop, flipped his lights on and drove as quickly as he dared in the dark and rain to the hospital. Luckily for you, Woodsboro was small enough that it didn’t take long. Long enough that you were nearly screaming in pain before your water broke, but not as long as it would have been in a bigger city.

Your dad ran into the hospital to secure a room and Billy helped you limp through the doors. They already had a gurney and a room ready, and the nurse walked beside you, holding your hand and instructing you to breath.

You made it into the room without much incident (other than agony and pain and more agony) and the doctors situated you on the bed.

“It’s too late for any pain meds, is that okay?”

You nodded, sweat sheening your face and neck. “Just get this thing out of me,” you gasped. Billy looked at you apologetically, and you glared at him.

“As soon as this demon is out of me I’m slapping you. Hard.”

“Okay,” the doctor patted your ankle in what you suppose was supposed to be reassuring. “It’s time to start pushing, you ready?”

“Oh my god,” you were mad at the doctor, mad at Billy, mad at this terrible demon child. “I’m never doing this again.”

You screamed, pushing with all of your might, fairly certain that your heart was going to explode. And maybe everything else would.

They said that you wouldn’t remember the pain of childbirth. Fucking liars.

“Billy, if you want another kid I’ll get you pregnant, how does that sound.”

Billy only laughed, but he was looking a little green. Pussy.

The nurse pulled Billy and your father aside, trying to talk to them privately, but it was a small room and you could hear everything.

“Sir, some complications arose.”

“What kind of complications?” Billy said, green giving way to pale.

“Well, there’s only a fifty/fifty percent chance that the baby and mother both make it. You might have to choose between them if it gets worse.”

“What?” Billy had to sit down, and he put his head in his hands. “I choose her. I always choose her.”

Come on, baby, I didn’t carry you for nine months for you give up on me now. If you don’t come on out right now you’re grounded.

Defying all expectations, you pushed with one final scream and the nurse was able to grab the baby’s head and shoulders and pull him the rest of the way out.

You collapsed onto the pillows in exhaustion, holding your baby close and kissing him all over his beautiful face. He had Billy’s nose, but your eyes.

“Ethan,” you spoke into his forehead, the name you and Billy had decided on. “Welcome to the world.”

#scream #scream 1996 #billy loomis scream #billy loomis #fluff

59 notes · View notes

eclectic-sassycoweyes · 4 months

Note

🚨😶 pleaseee

Hi Michelle! Thankuu! 🌼 Ohh I had to think a lot about these!

🚨Emergency most likely to make you sob

I’m not sure if we’re talking canon here or not, but going with canon bc I’m not going to risk jinxing anything by coming up with awfully sad storylines !

I think the suddenness is what often get to me - when you expect everything to be okay, when the characters even expect that, and then in a second, their future and all they had planned is ripped out right from under them and right in front of them and they have to deal with that shock and their whole world changing and the Thing That Was Never Allowed to Happen happens.

Apart from that, I think that the worst one might be the girl who is a victim of the organ stealing ring in s4. The injustice of the way she was treated by the police, how alone she felt. That gets me every time.

😶 Unpopular opinion, respectfully

On a lighter note, hopefully (don’t come for me please🫣)

Okay, so first I couldn’t think of one, and then I thought of two, and I literally lack that little thing inside brains that chooses between stuff, so now you’re getting both of them🙃

1) Okay, first of all.. hear me out please - I love everything about Carlos Reyes, and I love him with my whole entire being, especially his flaws. This is nothing against him whatsoever, this is about my own issues..

But this Carlos:

And this:

Listen, I love him!! But I would have ran and it’s a good thing I’m not TK bc I might not have come back

He’s so sweet and heart eyes-y and horny enough for crazy enough about TK that he’s willing to put on the sirens and cook dinner at midnight for him and I LOVE IT ! But! He’s also just so intense! If someone offered to break the law for me, or if someone had put on their nicest shirt, set out champagne and candles and cooked dinner for me when I showed up to what I thought was a booty call, I would be like Nope! Can’t handle this👀

I don’t mean to hate on him for doing it, for being cheesy and romantic and a bit over the top and awkward, I love him for it, and I don’t see it as a character flaw. But I would just not have been able to deal because of my own sh*t mostly. I would be scared of all the feelings and sure that I would end up causing him pain and feeling pressured and like wouldn’t be able to live up to how serious and relationshippy he is !

Not me wanting a relationship but running like hell the other way when someone seems to be offering it

For me it goes to show that TK really is so brave and is such a serious relationship-guy himself - this is clearly too much too soon for him, but he also knows that this man is perfect his soulmate in every way that matters, and so he does end up fighting the urge to running as fast as he can in the other direction🥹🥹

It would probably serve me to learn a lot from TK in this regard

2) I… don’thopeforanothercomaoroneofthemgettingkidnapped🫣🫣

Like, I wouldn’t mind one (okay maybe a little bit). I appreciate the exquisite pain and aloneness and the revelations and holding of breath that comes from the whole one of them holding vigil.. but it’s also happened, twice. And like with the kidnapping/disappearing thing, listen I loved how Carlos went all detective in 2x08(I think?) and how anxious and stubborn TK was in 4x04, but it’s just so one-sided and we never get the aftermath and that’s what I want - I want the caretaking, helping with getting dressed and taking small sips of water. I want the whumpee to be there to be grumpy, vulnerable, embarrassed etc.

I’d prefer like, a broken leg, a concussion with bo I screens allowed, stomach flu, even kidney stones lol, or a hangover or the common cold - I want to see them cuddling, loving each other through gross and mundane and human things, calling the others parents in the hospital or their friends to cancel game night🥹

🫣🫣🫣

#ask games #Mar answers #Tarlos #Carlos Reyes #911 lone star #@heartstringsduet #Michelle asks

8 notes · View notes

jayspire · 25 days

Text

Hi! Im a new person here on tumblr. This blog is to show you my journey, and to help others if I can. Today Im going to list things I’m going to manifest, how, and I will recount as we go I will also post my results. I’m very familiar with the LOA so if you have any questions you can ask and I’ll respond as soon as I can. But this works two ways. If I ever say something u don’t agree with feel free to correct me I might also occasionally ask questions as well. Now I’m going to share a success story I had in 7th grade.

At this time I heard of manifesting. It was December and I was just sick of school. So utterly sick I wanted to never come back. And I don’t know what made me do this but I would literally go “you know what I’m not going to school. For a whole MONTH!” And I kept saying this to everyone. I didn’t know what I was doing like I still went to school everyday but I didn’t think about it I think I was joking around but I was so sour it seemed real. Anyway i got appendicitis 💀. And I stayed home for a month 💀. I didn’t connect this to manifesting bc it seemed like a coincidence and I had been having stomach pain + frequent hospital trips for a few months so it was like it already happened. Anyway I went back to school and my home room teacher was my English teacher. And in English we had this thing where we wrote a book entry everyday and after two weeks we turned them in. Now I was always on time with this but since I was sick I didn’t do mine and procrastinated on it even when I went back to school. So the Friday I woke up and figured she’d check them I was so scared it was the due date. But again idk what possessed me but I woke up somehow knowing she wouldn’t come to school that even though she never skips Fridays. I told my mom, my cousin, my friend up until I reached her door I literally said “she’s not here today see”, I wasn’t even at the door how did I know.

I turned out she fell down some stairs and didn’t return for the rest of the year. The guilt ate me up. I confessed 😭. I told my friends it was me. She was already over weight and I was so worried. I did this with my math teacher when I didn’t do the hw but she always came back. From that day manifesting scared me. I didn’t use subs, meditations or anything I just knew in a disregarding way?? Xx

Now I want to post about my journey bc I’ve grown since then. I want to manifest waking up in the void every night completely aware. As soon as I become unaware of my 3d reality I become aware of the void. Technically we are the void. Idk if I want to do this how I did before because when manifesting appendicitis it took a month, but when manifesting my teacher not being there it took one morning. All I know is the common factor is the feeling of know. Actually it was more of an attitude. So what I’m going to do is :

1. Pick an aff or a few I’ll list them. I don’t like robotic affirmations bc why I affirm if I already have it. I’ll only use robotic affirmation when I’m in doubt otherwise I’ll just remind myself occasionally how I already go into the void every night and how it’s so great. Even in doubt b4 resorting to that I’ll listen to subs or meditation.

2. Know it’s going to happen because why wouldn’t it. Know it happened.

3. I like meditation so I’m going to use that. It makes my body buzz. There’s this creator on her who makes affirmation tapes @adambja and she has this tape the peaked my curiosity its on her page you don’t have to dm her it’s called just another tape. It’s so cool I only tried it three times so far. The last two I got interrupted by my family tapping me awake I try so hard to do this in private 😭. But don’t worry if you can’t like me meditating normally also helps I thought it was a waste of time the first week but after a while I loved it made me so detached.

So just to clear this up if in doubt I will use subs or meditate, I know I go into the void every night, I will also meditate normally bc it’s so great and strengthens you before you go into doubt, and here are affs I will use:

“I wake up in the void every night aware”

“I become aware of the void every night”

“I’ve mastered the void”

OMG BEFORE I FORGET

There’s a creator on here I think Maya or Mara I’ll double check who introduced me to morphia energy fields. I don’t know much about this but she made a challenge of using them and I will at her in the comments bc I want to try this for more information on what this is you can go to her blog to see. That’s all again I will post my results 👋

#void state #self concept #manifesting #loa tumblr #loassumption #loa success #loablr #loa blog #meditation

5 notes · View notes

thefinalcinderella · 2 years

Text

Tsurune: Irodori no Issha Episode 1: Kuma’s Feelings

youtube

So kyoto animation is posting limited time audio dramas after every episode, and luckily for me, there’s subs in Japanese! I’ll be tagging all the dramas under tsurune: irodori no Issha

Seiya is being a funky little guy in this one

Tsurune translation masterpost here

Translation Notes:

1. Seiya is parodying the speech patterns of the cat protagonist in Natsume Soseki’s I am a Cat. The cat there speaks in a very self-important and grandiose way, like a nobleman

2. A pun. The phrase here is 医者の不養生 which literally means “a doctor’s neglect of health” and is an idiom that means “not practicing what you preach”

Minato: Kuma! Good morning!

Minato: You’re so fluffy...let me sniff your head a little bit. And then your paws, and your ears.

Minato: Let’s go out together today.

Seiya: “I am Kuma. Today, Narumiya Minato-kun, the neighbor from across the street, is in high spirits.”

Minato: Eh, what are you doing, Seiya?

Seiya: “Minato-kun comes to my house everyday for the goal of petting me. I am pleased that he visits me everyday, but to be honest, I cannot help but think that there are other things he should prioritize.”

Minato: Kuma would never say something like that

Seiya: Who can say

Minato: Kuma loves me. No matter how much I pet him, he’s fine with it, right, Kuma?

Seiya: “When he states that so strongly, I have no choice but to say yes in a dog-like way.”

Minato: Seiya’s Kuma is pretty sarcastic

Seiya: He has a fairly philosophical side to him

Seiya: Anyways, let’s go. We have an appointment

Minato: “I’m Kuma! My young master is a bit of a pain. But I forgive him since he gives me jerky.”

Seiya: Huh? There’s bribery involved?

Minato: “My young master is desperate for my affection.”

Seiya: Then, what about Minato?

Minato: “Minato is my friend. I love playing with him. By the way, my favorite games are fetch and tug-of-war.”

Seiya: All you need is for someone to play with you?

Minato: “My job is to play, sleep, and eat.”

Seiya: That’s nice. I’m jealous of you, Kuma.

Minato: “Oh? Master has a gloomy face. Let me try to sniff him.”

Seiya: You can tell from my smell?

Minato: “My sense of smell is ten thousand to a hundred million times better than humans. I can even know what you’re thinking about, whether you’re happy or sad, not to mention your footsteps!”

Seiya: Ten thousand and a hundred million are two completely different numbers.

Minato: “My master is nitpicky. That’s why he tends to worry about all kinds of things.”

Seiya: I don’t want to hear that from you, Kuma...or rather, Minato.

Minato: “I don’t care about the small things! There’s a nice phone pole here. Hmm, hmm. I see.”

Seiya: So, what about it?

Minato: “A dog has marked this spot.”

Seiya: Well, that’s obvious. Anyone can see that.

Minato: “I won’t tell my master the details.”

Seiya: I know Kuma wouldn’t say mean things like that.

Minato: Ugh...that’s true.

Seiya: You broke character.

Minato: I know.

Minato: Okay, let’s go, Kuma.

Minato: What’s wrong, Kuma? Don’t sit down.

Seiya: “I am Kuma. I sense something suspicious.”

Minato: There’s nothing suspicious at all.

Seiya: “I sense something suspicious in the fact that he said that there’s nothing suspicious.

Minato: Stop goofing around, Seiya. Do something

Seiya: “I have decided to not budge at all from my spot.”

Minato: And we were almost there...

Minato: Seiya, hold Kuma for a bit.

Seiya: You help too, Minato

Minato: One, two!

Seiya: Heavy!

Minato: When we weighed him before, he was 45kg.

Seiya: Heave-ho!

Minato: “Oh wow, I’m being carried. Is it okay to ignore a person...no, a dog’s will?”

Seiya: Minato, do you want to take Kuma to the animal hospital or not?

Minato: I’m going, I’m going. Okay, Kuma, bear with it. A dog from a family of doctors wouldn’t get sick.

Seiya: That would be failing to practice what they preach.(2) Oh, he gave up and started walking.

Minato: “I didn’t give up. I decided to go to the hospital for the sake of my master.”

#tsurune #tsurune: irodori no issha #Narumiya Minato #Takehaya Seiya

113 notes · View notes

newgenog · 1 year

Text

REVENGE

Notes: This is NOT part one of chapter seven. As a reminder, we've switched to weekly teasers for each chapter.

If you're just stumbling across this, and haven't already done so, please stop and start by reading chapter one.

This #Batwoman AU is based on the ABC tv series #Revenge. Ryan Wilder had just about everything taken from her when we met her, and she was doing her best to get it back. In this version of the story, that means taking some people down along the way. And, she's definitely no hero.

Hopefully you're recovered from chapter 6, and ready for our season finale. I'll try to hold you over with out of sequence and context teasers while I wrap this up. See you next Friday for teaser 2 for chapter 7.

CHAPTER SEVEN SNEAK PEEK

TUESDAY, JULY 10TH, 8:00 PM, THE HOLD UP

Ryan made it through her second day back to work after the holiday that became a regressive spiral into feelings she thought she’d buried, after Angelique put a Crow in a coma, after Luke was attacked by another Crow and hospitalized, and of course after Sophie found out who she was and Ryan crushed her when she admitted she never intended to tell her the truth. In reality, going to work was probably Ryan’s best option, because being left to her own devices at a time like this could result in literal bombs being placed and set everywhere her enemies frequented. But that kind of quick ending wouldn’t be nearly as satisfying as ensuring the plan she’d spent years devising came to fruition, nor would it be fitting enough justice for them. They didn’t deserve quick endings. They needed to experience complete loss and total destruction. They needed to see her thriving in spite of everything they took from her. The only way that would happen was if she got her house in order.

Fortunately, Sophie did still help, as she'd promised, and at least a couple of Ryan’s obstacles were now less threatening. She hadn’t spoken to Angelique in almost two days, and figured she too was barely keeping it together, wondering when the next Crow would jump out and try to take her down. So, Ryan goes to The Hold Up to give Angelique the news that Sophie had shared with her earlier that morning. She can’t deny that knowing with confidence Sophie won’t be there, because she’s currently on her shift with Luke, has influenced her timing.

She walks up to the bar and a very worried Jordan greets her.

Jordan: “Hey, Robyn…how are you holding up?”

Ryan: “I’ve definitely been a lot better than this, but I’ve also been worse. So…”

Jordan: “I hear that. Well, have you eaten anything?”

Ryan: “A little…earlier…haven’t been super hungry.”

Jordan: “Not surprising, considering. Why don’t I at least put some of your favorite fries in front of you, and we can see what happens?”

Ryan: “Look at you, taking care of me…”

Jordan: “I might be concerned about Luke, but you were there…I can’t even imagine what that was like. And, I’m going to guess you’re not leaning on my sister right now… So, yeah, anything I can do.”

Ryan: “That obvious, huh?”

Jordan: “Oh yeah…but I’m not worried about you two.”

Jordan winks at Ryan, and she smiles back gingerly, appreciating the hope.

Ryan: “Are you here alone?”

Jordan: “My mom’s in the kitchen, even though she should probably be heading home soon. But, it’s our TikTok queen’s night off, and with Soph so occupied right now…I mean, it’s hella dead in here, anyway. So it's not like she’s working hard.”

Ryan: “Wait, who’s your TikTok queen?”

Jordan: “Oh, you didn’t see…?”

Ryan: “I’m not really on socials like that…”

Jordan grabs her phone, taps it a few times, and then slides it over.

Jordan: “I’m going to go put your order in. Enjoy the show!”

As Jordan walks away, Ryan watches Angelique and another woman feed each other shots, what looks like for the third time based on the empty glasses nearby them. Then she tongues the girl down. As she pulls away, she snatches a panda hat off of her lipstick lover's head, placing it atop her own, and dances away to loud hip-hop music playing throughout the bar. The clip, taken on a customer's phone, has over fifty thousand likes, which is a lot for Gotham. The Hold Up is tagged as the location.

Ryan puts the phone down on the bar, completely furious. What about that was laying low or sticking to her routine?

Ryan: “Hey, Jordan! Can I get those fries to go? Think I’m just going to head to bed early.”

Ryan's night is actually about to get a lot longer.

~~~~~

To be continued…

We finish season one and chapter seven in August. Let's do this!

Follow #SaveBatwoman on all socials please! Support the Writer and Actor strikes.

#wgastrike #sagaftrastrike #StopCancellingDiverseShows

#batwoman #wildmoore #ryan x sophie #wildmoore week #ryan wilder #sophie moore #save batwoman #fanfic #lgbtq #wmw23

17 notes · View notes

ctrl58 · 27 days

Note

14 and 1 from the ask game

14) what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but have maybe been to scared to?

Easy answer, I wanna be able to watch horror movies so bad! though i’m super jumpy, if someone were there next to me I could manage, just promise to hold my hand through all the scary parts !!

the problem comes with nighttime, i can get really really paranoid and even the slightest thing can keep me up at night. when i was a kid i had terrible insomnia because of this. things like seeing a scary youtube thumbnail, even without clicking the video, would prevent me from falling asleep. didn’t help that i was obsessed with watching fnaf gameplays, b/c during the day it wouldn’t scare me, but at night i’d be trembling and clutching a cross lolol (not exaggerating). this is the reason i can’t watch horror movies, the only real horror movie i’ve watched is Get Out

1) What are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are today?

this one is really hard.

1. i think having depression in middle school is the main thing that shaped me into who i am today. I switched schools in fifth grade and back then didn’t have good social skills so i couldn’t make friends, i developed a sort of selective mutism and never spoke. it stayed like that for four years, i literally never spoke, none of my classmates have heard my voice and i spent pivotal years for development alone. it sucked, i remember the pang in my heart whenever the teacher announced to get into pairs and i sat motionless knowing i had no one, or being picked last in gym, or sitting alone at recess.

January of 2023 i took a lot of pills but survived, and in the mental hospital spoke to someone my age outside my family for the first time in years. we became friends for the week i was there, then never got to speak again, i still miss her sometimes.

i spent most of those years bedrotting. it was in those years alone i desperately needed something to be happy about, something that could make me keep going. so i gained an appreciation for the world around me. the sun, the clouds, the leaves, the architecture, the sky, the bugs, anything and everything were the most wonderful pieces of art to me. the most mundane of things stiked awe in me, absolute beauty i wouldn’t have been able to see without having been forced to. for that i’m thankful, but i’ve been effected negatively in a lot of ways too.

i don’t want to just vent so i won’t list everything, but the main thing i notice is how desperate i am to be surrounded with as many people as possible at all times. if in school im alone for even a second, or im walking in the hallways without anyone to talk to, i feel the same pang in my heart from middle school and it causes an inherent panic in me. i desperately want to be liked, i want to be the centre of attention at all times, i need someone to talk to all school day. that’s the only reason i’m popular, because i need to be. i guess i should be grateful, i forced myself to gain great social skills and have a lot of friends, but when someone shows the slightest bit of disinterest or dislike in me it feels world ending.

2. the second thing that shaped me into who i am today is my best friend. i met her first day of high school when we happened to speak and noticed how we had the exact same schedule. if sunshine were a person, it’d be her. she brings colour into people’s lives, she lights up rooms. I want to be jealous of her, but she’s so authentic and beautiful that I find myself unable to be anything but entranced. she’ll do great things in life because she’s a great person, no matter what path she decides to go down. there’s a reason people are so charmed by her, she’s what those loud kids who think that they’re ‘popular’ aspire to be, she’s genuinely just likeable. she radiates happiness, it rubs off on the people around her. I didn’t think people like her existed in real life, and I wouldn’t mind spending the rest of my life by her side. I know God is real because He let us cross paths, i’m lucky to have met her. i don’t think i’d be here if it weren’t for her.

i’d add a third thing but i already wrote too much lolol tldr it’s my experiences and the people i’ve met that have shaped me as a person

#answered asks #ask game #BIG LORE DROP!! BIG !!

2 notes · View notes

thetravelerwrites · 1 year

Text

Being a mom has made me appreciate my mom more than I ever did before, and I have always been very much appreciative of her, even when she was still here. It has also made me realize how much of an absentee father my dad was, how toxic he still is, and how mentally and emotionally abusive he has been to me growing up. The stark contrast in their parenting styles has made me want to be an even better parent to my child, by learning as many lessons from my own mother’s unconditional love, and learning what not to do from my dad’s distance and disinterest.

Discussion of surgery, medical procedures, and toxic parenting below the cut:

A lot of you know that I was burned in an explosion when I was 2 years old. I’ve had somewhere between 85 and 90 surgeries (and hundreds of individual procedures, both with and without anesthetic) and my mother was present for every single one of them before she passed, except for one. She skipped that one because she had just started a new job and thought her boss wouldn’t let her take the week off she’d need to come with me.

She was the last thing I saw when I went in and the first thing I saw when I came out. She’d hold my hand, stroke my hair, and her heart would break every single time I told her that I was scared and wanted to go home. It destroyed her to watch me be wheeling into the operating room, sobbing and begging her not to let me go in, and even though she never let me see her upset, she’d go back to the waiting room or the assigned hospital room and just cry the entire time I was in surgery. When I came out, she would swallow her tears, smile at me, and welcome me back with a kiss on my forehead. My mother struggled with watching me suffer and felt my pain as if it were her own, but she never left me, never faltered in support for me, and she was always there for the next procedure, no matter what.

My father, on the other hand, escaped. He ran. He took a long haul trucking job that took him away from his injured family 48 weeks out of the year. He left my mother two care for two special needs children (my older brother and me) and my infant brother, who was born six hours after the explosion. He left under the pretense of earning money, but he abandoned us because he couldn’t handle the circumstances emotionally. He’s admitted as such to my sister, though he’ll never admit it to me. To this day, he can’t even talk about those times. He has completely shut that part out of his memory and won’t discuss it. After he returned when I was 12, I barely knew him, and he didn’t know a thing about me. He loves to claim we were best friends back then, but I know now that it’s actually quite easy to get along with someone you don’t have any emotional investment in, which is a concept he doesn’t seem to understand.

He’s told me before that he wished he’d waited ten years after getting married before having children, and that he should only have had two, an indirect way of him saying he wished my brother and I (who are the eldest and were both special needs kids) hadn’t been born. The first time I stayed the weekend with a boyfriend, he told me that whenever my boyfriend broke up with me, I should get the money up front from the next one, implying that me staying with my boyfriend overnight was akin to prostitution. I was 25 years old at the time. He tried to have my insurance changed against my will by giving all of my information to an insurance salesman I had never met over the phone, and when I protested, he screamed at me in front of strangers that I didn’t appreciate him trying to help me (even though he was literally committing insurance fraud). I was 30 and had been handling my own insurance for over a decade. We stopped speaking for a year after that. It honestly should have stayed that way.

A few years ago, I learned that the reconstruction they performed on my airway is deteriorating and that I would need to have a tracheotomy (breathing tube) implanted, and it will be permanent unless I can get approved for a full tracheal transplant. The first of this kind of surgery was performed in January of 2021, meaning that this surgery is highly experimental and not something my insurance will cover because it’s risky and there’s basically no data on it’s success rate.

When the doctor was telling me about the surgery, he mentioned that the closest specialist that could attempt it is in Cleveland, Ohio (I live in Mississippi). If I were approved for the surgery, not only will I have to pay for it, but I'll also have to pay for the three months of aftercare and I will need to have a support system in place so that I don't spend three months alone, and I’ll have to pay for that, too. I'm disabled and live below the poverty line, so this is going to be a monumental undertaking.

My father drove me to the tracheotomy surgery (because I couldn't drive myself) and heard the doctor telling me all this, and as we're driving home afterward, he says to me, "Why don't we do this? We buy an RV that I and Ella (my daughter) can live in instead of an apartment or hotel. Then, at the end of the three months, I (my dad) will just keep the RV."

I asked him why he would keep the RV, and he told me it would be to make up for all the income he would lose over the three months he’d be taking care of me. I was astounded by the suggestion, because, A: I didn't ask him to be my support system, my sister is more than happy to drop her entire life to go with me and has not expected anything in return for doing so, so no lost income for him; B: There's no possibility he would lose the amount of income necessary to buy an RV in the span of three months, even if we bought it used; C: I would be footing the bill for his entire trip. Rent, electricity, food, gas, internet, literally everything out of my own pocket. It would be an all expense paid vacation for him, other than babysitting my daughter; D: I know that my father's dream is to live out his retirement in an RV. He's told me so. And E, most importantly, he is in no way entitled to any of the money i raise for the surgery, even if he helps me with the fundraising. That money will serve a purpose, and that purpose is not buying him a retirement.

When I told him point blank I felt like he was using my surgery money to fund his retirement, he got angry and told me, "everyone thinks parents are just supposed to give and give and get nothing in return. Nobody ever thinks about how this affects me. Why shouldn't I get something in return if I'm giving up three months of my life and income to go with you?"

15 years ago, this would have made me feel guilty, because I was so used to being manipulated into believing that I was an ungrateful child who was never appreciative of the things he did for me, and I would have given him what he wanted. But now that I’m older, have been in therapy, have a child myself, and remember my mother’s example of love and support, I can see how toxic and abusive this is. Can you imagine trying to con your disabled daughter, who is poor and a single mother, into buying you an expensive vehicle for your retirement? With transplant money? The idea of asking your child to buy you a vehicle after you abandoned her for ten years and gave her no emotional support even when you did return is already disgusting, but the thought of asking her to buy it from life-changing surgery money is just despicable. This is not something I would ask of anyone, let alone my own child.

I want to be a parent like my mom was. She wasn’t perfect, and she made her mistakes, but she was there. Always, in every situation. She never left me, she never let me experience suffering alone, and I never had reason to doubt she loved me. I want to be that to my child. And if my dad did anything for me, it’s teaching what not to do to my children. The idea of alienating my child to the point that she resent and distrust me is something that terrifies me. I don’t ever want to be like him. I want to be like her.

#Personal #The Traveler Speaks #Surgery #Toxic Parents #Mental Abuse #Emotional Abuse #Gaslighting #Dog Whistling #DARVO

15 notes · View notes

pinkgrapefloyd · 6 months

Note

I don’t know if you answer asks so although I want your input on this, i’m not really expecting it so don’t feel pressured!

But basically, I just wanted to say I absolutely LOVE your writing. You’re seriously one of my favorite writers and I literally read all your stuff. But specifically I wanted to ask about Anti-Hero.

I’m a writer as well and I’m trying to figure out how exactly to write a fic. I’m kind of struggling with working with an overarching plot (like Robbie’s concussion, in yours) and balancing it with what people actually came there to see (yknow the actual ship). But you literally did it so well like everything with Robbie’s arch felt so relevant and interesting, even when technically the reason I started reading it was for Daniel and Johnny.

So I guess I’m just asking for tips. Like how to balance out your writing easily with that you know. And kind of just advice for writing a fic in general? Of course if that’s not too much, that kinda feels extra.

But anyway, if this ends up staying in your inbox, I just want you to know how actually HYPED I am for that good omens fic. I absolutely love good omens and i’ve never been more excited to see someone write for characters. Lots of love!

Hi! First of all, thank you very much for your sweet message! I’m very glad my writing and especially Anti-Hero means enough to you that you came to reach out for advice! <3

I hope this is not too basic, but here are some things I think might be helpful:

1. In terms of balancing different plot elements: You need to „braid“ the plot strands into each other. A development in one strand must have consequences in the others. The consequences can be small, but they need to be obvious! Robby’s head injury gives Johnny an opportunity to step up as a father, which makes a positive impression on Daniel. The matchmaking progress in turn gives Robby a sense of purpose. It ties into Robby's character development and his view of himself. This means Lawrusso moments are significant for Robby’s character arc, and Robby’s character arc is significant for future Lawrusso moments. Once I’ve established that connection, I don’t need to convince my audience to not ‚skip‘ through the Robby plot, because the Robby plot is an integral part of the Lawrusso plot. They wouldn’t work without each other.

2. General advice: Make sure that you’re having fun! It honestly sounds so cliche but I can always tell when a writer’s heart is really in it, and that makes the reading more enjoyable. If you’re passionate about something, it shines through. Go with the idea that makes you foam at the mouth, not just what you think the fandom will like. I had the most fun with „there’s daggers in men’s smiles“ because it allowed me to highlight one of my passions (fencing) and what I love about it. It’s not my most popular story, but it’s currently my favorite, and I was always very motivated to work on it.

3. If you’re writing multi-chapter: Have an ending in mind. I’ve had a lot of story ideas, but the ones that have a specific ending planned are so much easier to work on because I feel like I’m working toward a goal. With romance, I encourage you to get a bit more specific than just "They get together". I knew from the get-go I wanted Anti-Hero to end with Robby in the hospital after a second head injury, but this time there actually would be something going on between Johnny and Daniel. I knew the revelation of Robby’s misunderstanding would be the catalyst for Johnny and Daniel confessing to each other. I didn’t know how, where or when this would all happen, but having a general idea of the ending in mind gave me a sense of direction that made writing a lot easier.

4. Optional: Knowing someone who knows the source material but isn’t hanging out on AO3 regularly makes it easier to stay in the original character voices. I didn’t have a beta reader in the classical sense, but I let my partner read every line of dialogue before posting it so they could tell me „I don’t think Daniel would say it that way“. It only happened two or three times, but I know it would have bothered me. If you want to consciously blend Fanon into your story, that doesn’t really apply, of course.

5. Skeleton Method: If you have a lot of ideas and struggle to get them written down, try writing the dialogue first (as if you're writing the script for a play). The dialogue is the "skeleton" of a scene. It's the most solid part, and gestures / feelings / reactions / descriptions are the squishy parts around it that make it come alive. Once the dialogue is doing what you need it to do, it's easier to fill the gaps and create a scene that will feel natural.

Also, I’m so glad you’re excited for my Good Omens fic! I generally don’t start posting multi-chapter fics until I’m 90-95% done writing them, and at the moment it’s still missing a few chapters. But it’s the project I’m most actively working on (besides my Carmanda one shot). Coming this year!

Best of luck with your story, too! Let me know if you want more specific advice.

#ask #anon #pinkgrapefloyd #anti hero #tdims #asgts #cobra kai #writing #not me replying to long asks instead of working.... oops :D

3 notes · View notes

thesupreme316 · 2 years

Note

darius martin x female reader. the female reader works for creative in aew and is engaged to darius and she just gave birth to their little girl brooklyn julia martin and darius as a dad is just so 🥺🥺🥺

Darius Martin as a Dad (Darius Martin x Fem!Reader):

Genre: Fluff

Summary: How I would imagine Darius as a dad

Word Count: 553

Supreme Speaks: hehe, sorry for the delay in answering but school and life's been kicking my ass to the point that I am just tired. anywhoosies, I hope @hooks-martin and everyone else enjoy this short little headcannon. I'll have more fics up by the end of this week (at least 3 more). ALSO, i hope everyone is doing well and remember you are loved and appreciated.

Warnings: slightly proofread

Taglist (if you wanna be a part of it, lemme know): @hooks-martin @hookerforhook @triscillal @wwenhlimagines @sheinthatfandom @diabloguapos

Man is a cute-ass father ill tell you that

You were already moved in before you were pregnant

Before having the baby, he made sure you went to every appointment

He would get the car ready and drive it closer to the house so you wouldn’t walk far

Rubbed your feet every night and did not mind driving out at 2 am to help your cravings

Darius is very eager to learn about how he could help you and relieve some of the stress

Didn’t know what to do about a baby shower but did his best to help out

But in the end, he left it to yours and his mom

Went to parenting classes and asked his coworkers who had children what to expect and how their lives have changed

When you went into labor, JESUS CHRIST THIS MAN

He already had your bags packed two weeks in advance and did not miss a damn thing

When he was able to hold your baby girl, Brooklyn Julia Martin, he almost broke down in tears

He held her as if she could break at any moment

“She’s so small”

Never left the hospital until he was kicked out or until you were ready to leave

I feel like he is so overprotective

He’ll constantly buy things to do keep all the cabinets and doors closed, get two types of car seats and strollers

Will make sure everyone sanitizes their hands before touching baby Brooklyn Julia

Darius: Did you wash your hands?

Dante: Bro, you literally stared at me for 30 seconds while I did it

But if the baby wants to do a flip, he’ll let her do the flip damn it

“Go Brooklyn!” helps her do a flip

“Darius, sweetheart, she can’t do that -“

“She wants to be a flyer like her daddy. to Brooklyn in a baby voice Don’t listen to the mean woman.”

Does not like to make her cry

Will literally do anything and everything for Brooklyn

He’ll have matching outfits for them but not like matching matching

More like the same color scheme

Bonus points for him if he can make all of ya’ll wear the same shoes

If you don’t feel like going to do something for the baby (cause being a mother is hard), he will go do it without hesitation or fuss

Since you both work at AEW, you bring Brooklyn to work every now and then

Tony and everyone backstage loves her cause she’s so well behaved

Even though she does throw MJF’s scarf around a lot

She’ll try her best to get her little hands on things but as long as you give her that favorite toy of hers, she’s fine

The other kids of AEW wrestlers find her adorable (Birdie, Negative One, Nora, etc.)

Posts pictures of you two at least weekly on his instagram

Never shuts up about Brooklyn

“Tyler, look at this video of Brooklyn slapping her cheerios”

“Dude you already showed me this”

“Well, look again”

And then you two would get married a little over a year later, with all of your family and friends celebrating the official start of the Martin family

#aew #all elite wrestling #all elite wrestling imagines #darius martin #top flight #darius martin x reader #darius martin imagine #aew imagine #aew x reader

40 notes · View notes

pretty-pink-seaslug · 2 years

Text

Finally finished that short lore comic! It’s 2 pics styled like anime caps but whatever it’s for lore purposes and still a comic in my eyes

The First Encounter

Ayyyyy it’s finally finished! The teaser I posted literally 2 weeks ago! (Wow that time flew by but also didn’t time is so strange)

For context: Crystal here is fresh out the hospital, and on her way home has a breakdown in the middle of a park when she’s alone, being crushed under the weight of the traumatic event that happened before she went into a coma for 3 days (still don’t know if 3 days is realistic or not for head trauma) and knowing she’ll come home to nobody to be there for her (her father’s overseas for whatever he does, he leaves overseas a lot so she’s home alone all the time, she’s used to it and likes the freedom of being home alone but sometimes it gets lonely 😔)

Madre however, through some magic means I haven’t thought of yet, senses the traumatic event happen and that Crystal’s heart is shattered, and takes this moment as the perfect opportunity to... ‘polish an undefined jewel’ (😈) and from this point forward, Madre acts as Crystal’s caretaker! Unofficial because she hadn’t stepped foot in that hospital once to confirm anything— She just kinda inserts herself into Crystal’s life at this time, which Crystal accepts because, well—

Some things about this art + the moment itself!

Madre is in a human form here of course, you would just walk up to a vulnerable new heartbreaker lonely 14 yr old girl as some sort of humanoid creature and expect her to let you in her life—

This was kinda used as angle practice! I drew the 1st frame before I even really started the 2nd because for the 2nd I was planning to use a pic of a 3D model at an angle (MagicPoser) and then couldn’t put my artstyle over it too well, so then I went to my sketchbook and proceeded to try and draw an angle by hand!

After this scene you’re seeing plays out, Madre helps Crystal off the floor, wipes her tears, gives her a few words of praise (stuff like how much potential she has although is very vague about what she means by this, how pretty she is, how strong she is for bearing it all to this point, etc. you know as one does—), and walks home with her (to Crystal’s house of course)

At Crystal’s house is when Madre introduces herself and tells Crystal how she’ll be here to take care of her ‘as long as she can’, Crystal asks more questions about her like where she came from, how she knows who she is, and why she’s here to take care of her, to which Madre responds with “I just happened to walk by and I saw you on the ground” and “I don’t know you too well but I know your name from volunteering at your school once” (she never once stepped foot in her school) and “You just came from the hospital and you’re all alone, I wouldn’t leave someone as sweet and hurting as you to bear with the pain like this 🥺”

I wanted to emphasize a feeling of (unintentionally) blocking everything else out in the shot with Crystal looking up, to do this, I made the vignette of the frame a bit deeper, while also having nothing but her, the ground she collapsed on, and the shadow of Madre looming over her, I also had the path fade out a bit too!

Incase you’re wondering why a tim couldn’t just hop in and lead her to the theater, there are 3 separate reasons I’ve chosen, so believe whichever you want because they all work!

🧿 Reason 1: Madre, after the event happened and Crystal was in a coma, did some magic she does with whatever Heartbreaker she’s looking to hire, where she basically cuts off the portal to Wonderworld from your view, lol rip Balan, not boutta get this visitor Madre called dibs—

🧿 Reason 2: the same as reason 1 except you can still see the theater, but it no longer has its aura of wonder aka the power to pull you in, so basically you just kinda see the entrance of some rundown looking theater, and well, who’s go in a theater when you’re on the verge of breaking down cuz not me that’s ong

🧿 Reason 3: The theater won’t let itself appear until you’re in a state of functional physical health and aren’t on the verge of breaking down, basically you have to meet a kind of “okayness” requirement for the theater (or Balan himself) to decide the pathway to being even more ok is open lol

To define the closeup angle on Crystal’s frame, I made the closeup lines thicker than the lines on the bottom! Something I learned to do maybe 2-3 years ago by just kinda copying certain animes

Aaand that’s it for the post! If I don’t have a lore tag already I probably should make one—

#my art #my artwork #balan wonderworld #bww oc #bww madre au #bww au #postincident!Crystal #Madre #Madre AU lore #my comic #kinda????

10 notes · View notes

freefromthecocoon · 2 years

Text

TWD Finale Review

So, Thanksgiving is complete and I finally had a chance to sit and review the finale. I got kind of long winded with this so buckle up. I will do a separate Caryl review as well.

We open as Daryl arrives at the hospital to get help for Judith. He gets knocked out by a trooper. Judith wakes enough to barricade the door to delay walkers from entering and we end on the shot of them laying on the floor that we saw back at SDCC trailer time.

Opening theme. I really loved that Bear used a full orchestra to score this episode. It added a lot to the scenes. Bear McCreary and in recent years Sam Ewing also have done a wonderful job of scoring The Walking Dead. The 2 songs picked for this episode were perfect as well.

Poor Jules didn’t even get a toast later. Luke shouldn’t have disappeared to go play in Potterworld. It really did feel like they only brought them back to kill them off as soon as they arrived.

Daryl laying on a gurney as he wakes up to bloodbath of poor Luke and his family. Carol trying to take care of Daryl and Judith. The scene with Luke and his family was sad and caught their emotions. I have to say, I wouldn’t mind a Tales episode showing how they came to be a family. There was so much focus on using Connie for shipbait, that we really didn’t get enough of their story and it was a disservice to all of them, even Connie.

I know there is frustration that Daryl and Carol don’t use their words, but I also know that goes to the chemistry that Norman and Melissa have and that translates to Daryl and Carol. They can exude so much emotion and communication with just a look. Carol knows that Daryl is looking at the scene with Luke’s family and their grief and that he is worried for Judith as she is hurt badly. Daryl makes an executive decision for a blood transfusion. I like that this was explained using a Merle memory and we do have background of Carol having some medical knowledge from years in the apocalypse, so this works, but as a nurse, I have to let a lot go with this show.

Princess and Max literally bust Mercer out of jail. We get a mini reunion of sorts, that felt unearned to me, but we had to show his escape so he could help overthrow the government.

I think we have spent way too much time on the Negan/Maggie dynamic, more on this later.

Our trio of Gabe, Eugene and Rosita arrive to save the babies. Never get in the way of a mama bear whose babies are in danger.

Judith wakes and is still out of it and so Daryl isn’t sure if what she said about Rick and Michonne was just dream talk or what. She passes out and the walkers begin attacking the hospital. Daryl barricading Judith in her room was a nice callback to the earlier seasons of the show when Shane did the same for Rick. I’ve always rolled my eyes at the use of walkers on the show, but I do think it was done well here and in the scenes with Rosita. The walker with the rock breaking the window was definitely a Season 1 callback.

I would be walker food if I had to climb a drainpipe to get away from zombies. I REALLY loved the scoring here when Rosita popped up out of the zombies and climbed on top of the ambulance. I really thought that maybe the spoilers had it wrong that Rosita would not die. Sadly, I was wrong.

Team Family gets to the safe house that Mercer has set up and we get the payoff for Yumiko outing that Tomi is a surgeon. He begins the work to save Judith. I loved Aaron helping Lydia and giving her a pep talk on coping with losing part of her arm. Carol is nearby, always listening and watching. This poor child has lost so much and I was so glad she didn’t lose Elijah. More Negan/Maggie drama…yayy. I do like Negan’s apology here, it seems very heartfelt and sincere. They somewhat come to a truce so to speak.

Now for the beginning of the true heartbreak. Rosita’s arc turned into one of the best of the show. Eugene and Rosita’s scene here is just everything and Christian and Josh completely knocked this out of the park. Eugene seemed to know something was off and Rosita sadly confirmed she was bit. I loved her being Rosita in this moment, telling Eugene to pull his shit together. Rosita just wanting to spend her last moments with her family, enjoying being with them. The I love yous exchanged between Rosita and Eugene are different than the ones with Daryl and Carol later as R/E are truly platonic best friends and he immediately goes to Max who is, as Eugene calls her, his beloved.

Daryl and Carol holding vigil over Judith is an intimate scene that calls back to Rick and Lori holding vigil over Carl so long ago. Again the looks between Carol and Daryl without words convey so much, that’s chemistry folks. The relief and humor when Daryl says Lil Asskicker and Judith responds as only she can with Big Asskicker.

Mercer decides to make a stand and Zeke gives an inspiring speech as only he can as a rallying cry to Team Family. The standoff at the gate was intense and Negan was correct, arresting Pamela was a more fitting punishment as she would have escaped through death, although it was nice seeing Walker Lance again, Maggie was right to not let Pamela get off that easy. Can I tell you that seeing Jerry stroll through those gates gave me life. I really thought we were gonna lose my cobbler king. I adore him and was happy he made it through.

I need to mention Gabe’s arc here. Gabe went from my most hated character to one I truly loved and respected. When we first met him, he was a cowardly man who locked his parishoners out of his church and he ended with risking his own life to open the gates for the CW people to be saved. I was also glad to see Gabe come to terms with his faith and to be able to reclaim it. Well done, Gabe.

The scene with Team Family in the town square battling the walkers, were the final scenes filmed for the show, The videos of the confetti and the final wrap call for the show were just after this scene. I admit, I did a little head banging hearing Living Colour’s “Cult of Personality”, it’s such a kick ass song and should be added to your playlist immediately…yes I’m old, lol. And yes, the explosion was very OTT, but I will allow it as it was the finale to a big ass show that meant a lot to all of us.

Carol being the ultimate boss bitch in her conversation with Pamela as Daryl proudly watches his woman and Mercer slams the door shut was a chef’s kiss moment.

I have given a lot of grief to the Negan/Maggie storyline over this season, but this scene with Lauren and JDM was so well performed. Maggie’s description of Glenn and why she cannot forgive Negan and also Maggie acknowledging that she knows he is trying to change was well-written and well-performed. In having anger with people in my own life, I completely understand the idea of letting go of anger to keep from burning yourself up, even if forgiveness isn’t a possibility. Negan seemed to grasp this and at long last respected what Maggie needs from him. I still don’t understand how they wind up in New York together, but I guess that will soon be explained.

The family dinner scene was precious to me and was a realization of Rick’s vision of a celebratory family dinner. Seeing that Dog is okay and begging for scraps was sweet. Daryl’s little head nod to Negan was appropriate. Gabe learning of Rosita’s fate was so well-performed. The music here is great too. Landslide was a total gut punch of a choice for scoring and perfect choice to convey the emotion of TWD coming to an end.

I haven’t read the comics, but the Rosita goodbyes are a callback to the Comic Andrea goodbye and was really well done. I know some people have asked why Daryl wasn’t more prominent in these scenes, but filming for all this took place while Norman was out due to his concussion. I would have liked to see Rosita and Daryl say goodbye to each other, but I think they handled that as best they could. Eugene and Rosita being there together at the end was precious.

I know we are sick to death of time jumps, but I think this one was appropriate. It was nice to see everyone catch up. Zeke and Mercer are the new leadership at the CW. Eugene and Max have a baby named Rosey. I liked the Daryl and Connie scene. It’s obvious that each of them are content in their own lives and that each of them are happy. A really good friendship scene. Lydia and Elijah have taken on the roles of couriers for the communities and I like them being able to do this. Negan checking in with Judith was appropriate and I liked the payoff of him sending the compass back to her. ASZ looked wonderful and thriving as did Hilltop’s rebuilding. Chandler Riggs was on set for the last day and Greg put a hat on him and gave him a job as a background gardener, a nice little Easter egg.

Maggie wants to begin exploring for other communities (this is the way I took this as it wasn’t clearly explained). So this explains why Daryl leaves. I won’t get into the debate about whether he should have left the kids and Carol. I think a lot of people misconstrued that he was leaving to search for Rick and Michonne, that was not the reason he left. I will explore this more in my Caryl review of the finale.

As I said previously, I plan to do a separate Caryl review, cause there is so much to unpack, but I will say here that Norman Reedus and Melissa McBride could read a phone book and I would watch it. They nailed their goodbye scene as we all knew they would and I gasped when Daryl told her he loved her as it was so much more than I expected we would get. It was hard to watch him ride away, but I am left with so much hope that we will see them together again.

I know the majority of fandom needed to see Rick and Michonne participate in the finale, I loved their scenes. The only thing I would have done differently here would have been to end with Daryl fading to black and playing the credits and then have the Richonne scenes as an end credit scene. I would also suggest watching World Beyond if you haven’t. I admit WB is a slog fest at times, but the CRM points of the show are what I refer to as tie-ins, not directly of course. But there are some definite Easter eggs from WB in the Rick scenes especially.

So, TWD has come to an end. I think overall, they stuck the landing. Obviously, the Reapers arc was a disappointment and a waste of precious time with all the characters we care about. The Negan/Maggie stuff was overplayed and I think if cutbacks had been made there, we could have gotten a more fleshed out story with the characters we care more about. But hindsight is 20/20, so I won’t belabor the point here. I think going into the finale blind and without spoilers or opinions from biased reviewers really helped my enjoyment of the episode. If you have stuck through on this word vomit from me, I will do a more extensive Caryl review and post at a later time. Thank you all for reading this if you could slog through it, lol.

#twd #twd finale #twd spoilers #Caryl #caryl positivity #caryl future

17 notes · View notes

mybumpbirthandbeyond · 2 years

Text

Walking on a Dream

The 2 days at home before surgery flew past. I said goodbye to my kids the night before we left knowing that the next time I would see them, I would be two weeks post-op and would look very, very different. They were no different to usual. My son grasped it a bit better, but their attention span and emotions weren’t in line with what was a pretty big deal!

The morning before surgery ended up being my first, and last CrossFit class since before Christmas. We had booked to go to CrossFit Green near the hospital and it was always my plan that I would do a final class in Dublin before surgery. I had just hoped that I’d also make it to some in my own gym before. It turned out to be the first (and last I hope) workout that I seriously considered quitting. I was so deconditioned from being out of the gym for a month and still not 100%. My heart rate skyrocketed pretty quickly. I knew I would never reach the numbers on the board. At the end, I didn’t actually do as badly as I thought given all the factors, but if I hadn’t been getting surgery, I would have been seriously pissed off at myself for even of thinking of quitting.

Later that day, was my marking appointment. That appointment had been in my head since my surgery was booked - maybe then it would all seem real, because that appointment would mean it was really happening. What I didn’t anticipate, were the nerves. It was like Éilís read my mind when I went in - “a lot of patients feel nervous for this appointment but leave feeling much better,” which was exactly what happened.

I signed the consent form to confirm I wanted to go ahead with the surgery. There was a section to say I understood there were alternatives to surgery. We both had a good laugh at that: “I think I’ve exhausted all of those 😂”

I took the final pictures of my diastasis that night. I didn’t sleep terribly, but I wouldn’t say I slept well. I was fasting from 4am (I set an alarm and took a protein bar just before) and no liquid after 8am.

I walked the 15 minutes to the hospital with Alex. He already knew - I wanted to carry my hospital bag as it would be the last time I was carrying anything for a while. I’m stubborn, but I had my reasons - I don’t like asking for help and if I can do it myself I will do. I was admitted at 10am. We went to a small waiting room until I was called. We waited only 15 minutes before they told me that this was it and we had to say our goodbyes then. That felt so strange, but I wasn’t at all nervous. Poor Alex looked a bit lost, but I felt pretty calm and definitely felt ready.

I was taken to a bay to get changed into a robe, compression socks and to give a urine sample. I was there just minutes, before a doctor started taking my medical history. I didn’t even have a chance to get changed once he left, as the next thing two nurses came to get my urine sample, take a blood sample and insert a cannula for my IV. Everything felt like it was happening at breakneck speed. I literally had questions about practically everything in my medical history being fired at me, as someone else took blood at the same time.

By the time that was done, I noticed everyone in the waiting area were being taken at different points and leaving the area we were in. What I didn’t realise was they were being taken along more or less for surgery. I don’t know what I expected, but I somehow thought I was going to be taken to another room to wait. I didn’t think the next part would be the holding area right next to the operating theatre!

I had absolutely no concept of time, but the last time I checked my phone it was 11:29 and at that point I was called. I knew my surgery had been scheduled for 1:30pm and I knew that meant nothing as such, but I had in my head I had ages to wait. When I was told this was the point I would be leaving all my stuff and this was it, I was pretty shocked. I was led to the holding area where they drew the curtain around me in a room full of patients waiting for surgery, just like I was. The only difference was, surely I had a while yet to wait?

The nurse came in to go through a final few things. She asked me had I been waiting long for surgery. In terms of that morning: no 😂 in terms of everything else: it felt like it. She patted my leg and told me it wouldn’t be much longer. I don’t know how I managed to stop myself asking, ‘how is this possible because everything seems to be happening so fast’ 🙈 I have absolutely no idea how long I was sitting there before Éilís came over. I was aware I could see lots of pairs feet under the curtain that were moving about and no doubt leaving for surgery. I could hear surgeons and anaesthesiologists alike speaking to patients and leading them away. Probably the thing that set me off was hearing someone at the desk in the room say something about, ‘Éilís Fitzgerald’s patient.’ It wasn’t me they were speaking about, but my heart rate hit the roof and I realised I had to chill the hell out if I was going to be sitting there, especially if it was going to be for some time yet. I tried to just close my eyes and take deep breaths to calm down. I think I actually even drifted off for a few minutes I was so successful 🤣

When Éilís came in, I honestly felt like it was a dream. Apart from the fact when I had dreamt about that moment in the months previously, it usually ended with me being told it wasn’t happening and I had to go away and put more work in 🙈 Thankfully, this was real this time and there was no going back. We spoke for a few minutes and she asked me if I had any last minute questions, but the answer was no. I don’t know why I felt so calm at that point. It’s hard to describe - yes the day felt like someone had pushed the fast forward button, and very surreal. However other than small moments in the lead up, I didn’t ever feel anxious or nervous. All I felt was calm and ready. This was absolutely what I wanted, with the person I wanted to do it, and I knew I was in the best hands. I had long made peace with decision that this was how my journey was going to end up. We were finally there.

I had a few more minutes to sit before they were ready for me, so I stayed where I was. I say a few more minutes, but I genuinely have zero idea of how long it was. The next thing I know, the nurse and the anaesthesiologist himself came over. I instantly liked him. He introduced himself as, “I’m the person who’s going to put you to sleep with some lullabies. Shall we go do that now?” He then apologised for the wait. I said to him, this is all happening a lot quicker than I expected. I really don’t feel like I’ve been waiting at all. “Oh we all feel bad you’ve been waiting so long.” It was crazy 😅 I genuinely felt like I was in the weirdest time warp. Everyone else thought I’d been waiting ages, but I felt like I hadn’t been waiting at all.

I wasn’t sure what to expect, but it certainly wasn’t that I would walk out the holding room only to be one or two doors down into the operating theatre. Or that I would just casually walk in and then be told to hop up on the table 😅 At that point they placed the wee sticky pads on my chest for all the leads for the monitors and applied the compression pumps to my legs there and then.

I was trying to take everything in. I couldn’t quite believe even at that point that it was actually happening. I didn’t even feel nervous at all, but there was a real sense of relief and excitement. There were loads of people in the room getting ready behind me. I was aware of Éilís coming through the door to my right. The last thing I remember was the anaesthesiologist asking me the colour of the cannula, ‘pink to make the boys wink’ 😂 and then a pink mask being placed over my nose and mouth. I just remember that sweet smell of the mask that was the same as when I used gas and air in my first labour. I could feel the gas I was inhaling, and the nurse told me it was just oxygen, but I guess it probably wasn’t because I don’t remember anything else after that 😂 Either that or the timing of that was exactly at the same minute as I was given the knockout. Last time I trust someone that tells me that 🤣

My first memory was kind of coming to in recovery and thinking, ‘whoa I think I’m going to be sick’ and promptly retching. I wasn’t actually sick, but a doctor came over sharpish with a sick bag and then I was gone again. I just remember thinking, ‘bloody hell why do I have to go and test the abs straight away doing something like that 😂🙈’ I vaguely remember being told when I was going to be taken upstairs, but I felt like I was being pulled back under and couldn’t fight off the sleep. I remember being left in the room, but it was a colossal effort to keep my eyes open. The last thing I recall at that point was being aware of whoever was next me - the woman and her husband were speaking Spanish. I felt reassured that I must be okay, because I heard and understood everything they said (although if you ask me now I couldn’t tell you what they said!) I always thought I’d be the one waking up speaking Spanish under the influence of the painkillers, but it turns out I was just meant to be in the bed next door 😅

The next thing I realised my visitors were in the room. It took absolutely everything to force my eyes to stay open, but the fact that they were there I knew I wanted to be conscious. I still had absolutely no concept of time. They were only there a few minutes before Éilís came in. She could have told me absolutely anything and I would struggle to remember. What I do remember is her taking off the binder to let me look. I have no idea how I reacted or what I said. I’m guessing I shook my head in disbelief (because that’s still how I react now). Despite the fact my tissues were very stretched, somehow the quality of those tissues was actually very good for the sutures to take hold. There are no guarantees, but it’s likely the load I had put through them and the work I had put in which made the difference. I was told my diet was going to be changed due to the fact that she thought I might get really sick from anaesthetic because of the volume of it going through someone smaller framed like me. Somehow though, I managed to eat every meal I had and I didn’t retch again. I wasn’t at all sick and have no idea why. Maybe my body was just able to cope somehow.

I’ve spoken to a few people who said they had slept great the night of surgery, but I didn’t at all. Despite the painkillers and feeling like I was in a fog, my brain just wouldn’t switch off (no change there then) and of course the nurse came in regularly to see if I needed more pain relief so it felt like the night after I had each of my kids, where they just keep checking on you. That’s obviously so reassuring, and if I was asleep I wouldn’t have noticed, but I just didn’t sleep well for whatever reason.

In the morning, my catheter was taken out at 7am and I knew I’d be up and going to the toilet for my first walk. The nurse helped me the first time and I was immediately shocked at how straight I was able to stand without forcing it. I had expected the worse, so was pleasantly surprised when it just felt comfortable to stand almost straight. The nurses changed my bed when I came back because they said I was a query for staying another night, which was reinforced by the fact I was told to make another dinner choice. I knew most patients left the next day, so that was a bit confusing, but I put it down to my low blood pressure. If my blood pressure is anything, it’s always low. When I had my son, it was dangerously low the morning after given birth and I couldn’t stand. I knew it wasn’t as low the morning after surgery, but everyone remarked on it. ‘Is your blood pressure usually low?’ was a question I was asked by a couple of nurses and the physio.

When Éilís came in to check on her patients, she confirmed there would be no reason why I couldn’t leave that afternoon after showering etc. It sounded like I had been marked as a query to ensure if needed, the bed was there. That visit I remembered a bit better 😅 she took the binder off again to show me and said she was happy with how everything looked.

My nurse came back in and said she would change my belly button dressing after my shower. I managed to shower myself which I was surprised at, but so relieved. It just felt amazing to feel clean. My dressings were changed and I was then able to get dressed and put my binder back on myself. Of course, I was knackered by that time, so all I wanted to do was sleep. I was waiting on my prescription when Alex came in. The nurse read it out and I just remembered looking over at Alex thinking, that can’t be right. It sounded like the only painkillers I was being prescribed were paracetamol! Alex said, “Claire, when I had surgery on my hand I ended up with more than that, that can’t be right.” I asked Alex to get the nurse who had been with Éilís in the morning to ask her. Her face when I explained was an absolute picture! It turned out the doctor who had signed it hadn’t realised I had an abdominoplasty! 🙈 It was promptly corrected 😂 I can handle a lot, but wouldn’t have liked to be climbing the walls with the pain later thinking, why didn’t I say something?

The hospital physio visited me before I was discharged. It felt completely ironic if I’m honest. At the very beginning, we now know I should have been seen by a physio on the ward after having my son, and ever since then I’ve lucked out when it comes to physios. I couldn’t help but smile wryly at the fact I wasn’t being discharged post-op until I had been seen. She said my surgeon had told her I was pretty clear on everything I could and couldn’t do, but she just wanted to check coughing, breathing and log rolling. She readjusted the bed and when I log rolled, she told me I was really strong in doing it so she had no concerns. The coughing was no doubt the worst thing about being post-op. It is absolute agony, but a necessary evil to ensure I didn’t end up with a chest infection or worse post anaesthetic.

Before leaving, she took my blood pressure thinking she would get me to walk the corridors and then downstairs. I was game, but she decided because of my low blood pressure we wouldn’t do it. I felt able to, but this was day 1: there would be plenty time to test the waters when the time was right. She handed me a leaflet for post abdominal surgery and apologised: “you can’t do the majority on here anyway which I’m sure you know, but I mistakenly crossed out walking as well. You can walk and that’s it.” 😂

We were lucky to be staying across the road from the hospital. However, I was more than a bit mortified when Alex said he’d be taking me in a wheelchair to the apartment then would return it to the hospital. That led to a hell of an argument 🤣 but in the end I had no energy to fight him on it long enough to get my way and walk myself. I’ll probably never forgive him for making me do that. Talk about overprotective! I love him, but honestly I swear he insists on some things knowing how much it’ll wind me up!

I thought I’d struggle sleeping at night, but thankfully not. Although positioning myself took time, we got there eventually. Alex drove me crazy at times, but I can’t fault him as a nurse. He was on top of my painkillers and what I could take and when, did everything for me like dressing me, drying my hair and helping me clean my belly button. He cooked, brought everything to me and opened every door before I could even think of doing it. The odd time I slipped up, he gave me the hard stare that I’m pretty sure he reserves for me when I piss him off because, I’m ‘too stubborn.’ 🤣🙈

The second day I probably wanted to go out for a walk, but I was exhausted, and ended up napping on the couch. I hadn’t felt great that day so I listened to my body. While I was keenly aware of how everything felt like it was going better than I had expected, I knew I would now play a part in that in terms of what I was doing. The Monday after surgery, I went for a small walk and although I was walking a bit gingerly, I was pretty much straight when I was walking. I’m naturally a really fast walker, so to see Alex slow down for me was a reality check, but I knew I would get stronger at some point and wasn’t bothered how long it took, I was just grateful to be doing well.

That evening, I spotted my ankles were pretty swollen. I knew going to bed I would be immobile for the whole night and while I could have taken the compression socks off between days 3 and 5 post-op, I made the decision to keep them on at night. I also decided that on top of walking outside during the day, I would walk lengths of the long corridor in the evenings outside our apartment. Alex said it wasn’t quite 100m so I would do ‘there and back’ a few times. The first time I did 4 times, only for Alex to tell me it was quite quick so I decided to do more. Every night thereafter from then on, (with the exception of two nights when I was just too tired) I did 10 full lengths of the corridor which would take about 20 minutes (at the start) on top of any walk during the day. I wasn’t actively trying to do them quicker (Alex doesn’t believe that, but it’s true), but each time got quicker and easier. It gave me a bit of movement before bed, and equally some alone time and headspace to try and figure things out.

The next day was the only blip in my initial recovery. I noticed there seemed to be an infection at my belly button. I had been told that was really common given what belly buttons are, but I just knew it wasn’t quite right. When I explained how it looked over the phone, Éilís agreed it sounded infected and prescribed me antibiotics. I probably caught it a day earlier than maybe normal, as the next day it was red around it and looked more infected, but by that time I was already getting antibiotics into my system so thankfully, had no issues with a fever or anything else. I’ve always been hyper aware of everything going on at my tummy and that wasn’t about to change post-op. I think that’s probably why I caught it so early.

At 7 days post-op, I had my first physio consult. We discussed surgery and how I was doing and they had a look at my tummy. They both remarked how upright I was and how good it looked. I think Antony even commented I was looking ‘jacked.’ I have no idea what he was seeing, but I’ll take it 😅 The whole thing was surreal. I couldn’t believe a week had passed since that absolute blur of a day that would change my life forever. I still can’t get over it now.

The next day, Alex was leaving to swap with my Mum, who had been looking after Cailean and Emily since the Wednesday before. We had agreed it wasn’t fair on the kids to be away from both of us for so long, so Mum would come out as Alex went home. I would be on my own for about 5 hours, with Alex threatening to lock me in if he thought I was going to do anything that wasn’t allowed 🙄 I had suggested I would do my outdoor walk before my Mum arrived, but I had to compromise to my lengths of the corridor. Even then, he wasn’t happy I would be opening the apartment door myself. When he was leaving was the first time I got emotional. He had driven me crazy as I said, but I couldn’t have done it without him. Not just surgery - everything I had gone through in the last almost 4 years. He has been my rock throughout and I’m so lucky to have him.

I was probably a bit more emotional on my own between Alex leaving and my Mum arriving, so I was glad when she arrived a bit sooner than expected. During that week, I continued being able to walk more and for longer, but still listening to my body when I needed a rest.

The Monday after Mum arrived, was probably the most eventful. I thought my infection was getting worse - although that was based on how my belly button looked. It was decided that the way I cleaned it would change - no more antiseptic or ointment, just water and instead of a dressing, a panty liner inside my vest under the binder to ensure it was wicking any moisture away from the belly button. I was relieved - it previously felt like a never ending cycle where I would clean it, try to dry it as much as possible, but it would look worse again the following day when I took the dressing off.

My Mum had arrived in Dublin with conjunctivitis in both eyes, but it was steadily getting worse. I had no idea how to access doctors while we were there, but we ended up in an out of hours clinic at a nearby hospital. She had heard how awesome the doctors were and didn’t want to miss out 😂 That was probably the first time I was in close proximity to others outside of the shops in the waiting room without my jacket on. I watched two families with toddlers waiting to be seen. I’ve been that soldier many a time with my two. I suddenly thought they’re probably looking at me thinking I’m due a baby myself…only to look down and realise, “Nope. Nobody will think that ever again.” 🥹 It was the first time it hit me, but even then it felt like the feeling was barely scratching the surface.

My final appointment before going home was to get my dressings off at 12 days post-op. It was the weirdest feeling walking into the hospital and up to Éilís’ office, when the last time I had been there was my marking appointment the afternoon before surgery. I had taken paracetamol before just because I thought it would probably hurt. By that day, I had come off all painkillers and was only occasionally taking paracetamol - usually for a headache rather than anything to do with surgery. The dressings coming off wasn’t the most pleasant experience, but it was over quickly thankfully. It was the first time I got to see my scar and I know it seems strange, but I was delighted. It was the next big part of the puzzle post-op. When the nurse got me to look in the mirror once she had trimmed the sutures and cleaned it, I think I once again shook my head. I just couldn’t believe that that was what I looked like now. I still can’t. I was told the swelling below my belly button would go down and there were some cracking bruises, but I couldn’t care less if this is how it looked from now on. I’m over the moon and blown away the results. Compared to how I came into that office 13 days previously, it was night and day.

It was even harder to comprehend when the nurse took the photos and compared them to the very first consult last March 🤯 she put them side by side and said: “you can tell you’re fit and strong, but look at the difference.” I swear I feel like one of those Churchill dogs in those adverts that used to shake it’s head. I just cannot get my head round it.

Leaving the appointment though, I felt strange and I can’t really put into words how I was feeling. There was an air of finality creeping in again and I didn’t know how to feel. I didn’t know the words to thank my surgeon and her team for everything they had done. How can you thank someone who has had such a profound impact on your life? Who has changed your life for the better? I still can’t comprehend that this is it. I still don’t feel any of this is really real. I don’t know how, or when that will change.

My team - my physios, my surgeon and of course my husband - want to protect me at the minute. I love them for it, but there’s no denying: no matter what we all do, there is a weight of expectation and I can’t ignore it forever. Even in the lovely comments on my first update post-op, I had incredible comments like: “the whole community are wondering how you’re getting on,” “the update we’ve been waiting on,” “lots of us interested having followed your journey,” and “can’t wait to see your next update”. Even that’s hard to believe. People have been following from the beginning and they want to see it through with me to the end. It blows my mind as much now, as it did in the beginning.

I came home to my kids and my husband two days after that appointment. My son has grown up with this as much as I have lived with it. There have been times he’s been fixated on my tummy, and he completely understood everything about it getting fixed by the time surgery came. It came as no surprise then, that every single day I FaceTimed him when I was away, he asked to see my tummy. When I eventually showed him, he was speechless, which is pretty impressive for an almost 4 year old, who never stops speaking! The poor wee guy couldn’t comprehend it either.

I know it might be hard to understand why I have shared everything over the years and now I have the biggest update of all, but I’m not ready to share yet. I’m really struggling with it myself. I don’t know how I feel about everything. That’s partly why I made the decision to release these blog posts first. I hoped that if I tried to process it by writing (which has always been my go to throughout this journey), maybe I could figure it out. I’m reluctant to see anyone I know yet. I was happy in my bubble in Dublin because no one knew me there. I could go out for a walk and be completely anonymous. I go out for a walk now feeling I might bump into someone. I don’t want to hide away forever, but I’m dealing with some huge emotions and thoughts right now, after what has been years of my life.

There is one thing for certain I do know in all of this - how even more incredibly lucky I am now. Not only do I have my amazing physios, I now have the most amazing surgeon. I knew that before she even laid eyes on me in person, but throughout all of this, that has just become clearer each time and of course, no more so than when I woke up post-op. Her skills as a surgeon were never in doubt; but they were the cherry on top of an incredibly kind, caring and supportive person who got me as a person, how I felt, and what I wanted to achieve from day 1. That is everything I could have asked for and more. As with everything I have experienced throughout, there will never be enough words to express my gratitude for what my team have done and continue to do for me.

I have videos and pictures from those early days post-op. I will post these when I’m ready. I know many women following are considering or are getting an abdominoplasty, and I know maybe something I share might help. Maybe even just as reassurance that if that’s the decision they’ve made, they won’t regret it.

I have never been ashamed of getting surgery. It was very clear to me, even as early as 2020, that it would be my only option. That was reaffirmed when I was opened up. There was just no way I could do it myself: no matter what I did and no matter how hard I tried, or how long I put in the work, and I know I did absolutely everything humanly possible to try.

When the time comes, I will be putting the same efforts into my final chapter of rehab. Whilst I know they wouldn’t agree, it’s the very least I owe my surgeon and my physios. Once again, so much time and effort has been put into me and I couldn’t not repay that the only way I truly can. Even then, that probably won’t ever be enough for everything they have done for me. 🍀🌟❤️

#mybumpbirthandbeyond #diastasisrecti #postpartumrecovery #postpartumbody #pelvichealthphysio #pelvichealth #postpartum #plasticsurgery #abdominoplasty #postop

3 notes · View notes

thequietmanno1 · 3 months

Text

TheLreads, Vigilantes ch 111, Replies Part 2

1) “YEP, BACK TO THE REAL WORLD THEN. GOOD LORD THAT LAST TRIP MADE ME DIZZY”- Back to Nomura suffering, which, is all the guy really has by this point. He’s failed at every task and commitment he’s set himself in order to become “real” and somebody all his own, and all he has left is rage and murderous envy towards Koichi for having all the qualities he most desires to become his own “ideal self” yet doing nothing with them in the end…and yet everybody still praises and supports him as the hero. You can’t help but feel a little bit of pity towards how self-destructive his desires have made him. (Vigilantes ch 55)

2) “I know that the Nomu project was an attempt to create bio weapons powerful enough to face All Might by combining a lot of different quirks into a single being and, with this manga that it also included a fuckton of Trigger to boost those powers into overdrive, but this makes it seems like they were going more along the lines of “we’re gonna create our own All Might to fight the original All Might”, and with this implication of cloning showing up, I’m starting to feel like they actually tried to get an offspring out of him.”- When I was reading it, I was still uncertain of what exactly the overall goal of the VF is, since the entire plot of him targeting Koichi and Pop has obscured what they’re actually trying to pull off with these trigger experiments and seeing how No:6 himself adapts and evolves whilst on the field. I was expecting it to get clarified in a “part 3” of the story, when Koichi took on more of a Knuckleduster-like role after this hospital showdown to find out what was up with Nomura and who was behind him, but then the series just ended without that. It sorta felt like all the lead-up that went into parts 1 and 2 of MHA, culminating in the PLF war, but then not going on to deal fully with the aftermath after all the chaos died down.

3) “WELL THEN I SUPPOSE YOU GOT YOUR HEAD HURT PRETTY BADLY IN THAT LAST FIGHT KNUCKLES, BUT EVEN SO I BET IT’S GONNA WORK OUT”- Knuckles doesn’t plan to make it out of this fight alive. One way or another, his only goal is to drag Nomura down with him to ensure his Quirk is never again used to empower villainy. 4) “Or he could, you know, just kill you? It’s not like you can run from him anyway, but now that you’re in close quarters it’s gonna be even easier”- All he needs is for Nomura to be prone on the rooftop long enough for the blast to go off. If a bullet to the head isn’t a guarantee, then grappling him close-quarters to ensure he’s caught up in it will do the trick, consequences be dammed. 5) “Sure, you mentioned that before during the… other fight… but I fail to see how you’d get to do that when he’s WAY faster than before while using his quirk.

unless that whole “body fine-tuned to high speeds” was complete bullshit, as I’m expecting it to be”- Nomura’s needfor external validation from his idol is so much he literally drops his guard and his high-tuned speed in order to try and have that master-disciple conversation he so desperately wants form him…unable to accept that it’ll never happen the way he wants it too. 6) “Oh that was satisfying. Also, yeah he was stupid enough to do that.”- Nomura is not in the best headspace right now. In fact, he doesn’t seem to have been in the best place mentally for a long time, ever since he was a child. 7) “I would say he wouldn’t be stupid enough to fall for that again, but considering it’s McBee we know he will. He loves the sound of his voice it seems.”- He speaks out into the void, screaming that he exists, in the hopes of hearing more than the echoes of himself, for somebody to respond positively…and all it does it allow Knuckles to manipulate him nearly as well as AFO did. Poor guy. 8) “We trying to make him a tragic figure now by showing him as a child being used by Quirks Georg three pages ago huh”- He is a tragic figure. Just, how sympathetic he is depends on the reader. 9) “C'mon Furuhashi, do it. Pull the trigger on Knuckles. Do it, I know you won’t you coward”- Well, he did but. In Knuckles’ current mentality, a bullet to the brain won’t do more than slow him down a bit. He needs to stay on top of Nomura until the blast goes off, and he won’t let a little thing like getting shot stop him from doing that.

10) “…

That’s- Th-

No, it can’t be

Furuhashi wouldn’t actually give McBee AfO, would he? We know that he made a clone of it later, but this is not the case, right?”- Nope, but it does act as visual foreshadowing at to Nomura’s planned fate, should he have proven himself a success in the field. Instead, it’s the rifle barrel and parts still inside his right arm, even reverted to a semi-humanoid state, allowing him to shoot even if his arms no long as gun-like as before. 11) “Oh, you brushed the anonymous off? That’s nice. Sure, having Knuckles beat the shit out of the motherbrain so hard he saw his whole childhood probably helped a bit”-Nomura’s scrambled brains aren’t capable of doing much right now, even with his whole super-speed perception deal, which is exactly how Knuckles planned it.

12) “please tell me that’s an actual gun quirk meant to emulate Koichi and not, you know, AfO”- I think it’s meant to be something of a combo between Koichi, Knuckles’ own love of sniper rifles, and that gun-Quirk lady we saw a few pages ago in the Quirk montage.

13) “And we’re back to the concussive therapy session I see.”- Nomura is not the only one who like to hear himself talk. 14) ““more deserving people”

then he shows Soga and his lackeys.

Also, both Pop and the detective are in a Coma and effectively haven’t done nothing to the story for a long time.”-Of all the people shown on screen, about one of them has a decent chance of leaving this series with a valuable life lesson from Knuckles. I’m not sure that counts as a victory for him. 15) “Please tell me you have a bomb to take both you and McBee down”- He’s got several! 16) “No McBee, that’s his garage key-

WAIT A SECOND WHERE’S THE BOMB

AIN’T NO WAY YOU KNEW HE’D BE EXACTLY ON THIS BUILDING AND HAD THE TIME TO PUT BOMBS HERE

AGAIN

BECAUSE THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID DURING THE FUCKING SKY EGG”- More than that, this is Koichi’s apartment they’re on, not a random building, meaning he predicted the whole sequence of events so utterly that he had time to sneak in several huge oil drums of explosives and rig the place to blow at the same time he stole back his kit before the fighting even started. Knuckles could take up fortune-telling if he wasn’t so borderline suicidal. (Vigilantes ch 96) 17) “Oh god don’t tell me Knuckles is working with the real estate agents now, they are planning to beat koichi and make him sell his penthouse”- Can’t sell a pile of rubble, unless you want to build something over the wreckage where your house once was. (Vigilantes ch 96) 18) “Yeah, something reaaaaally specific in fact, but you wouldn’t know because you were never welcome into the Cave of Vigilantism.

Don’t worry, knuckles is probably gonna contact you soon.”- Nah, Knuckles wants to leave this story with a bang- cremating the trash of the past all healthy-like so it doesn’t get in the way of the kids’ futures – and that includes himself. No goodbyes, so sad death scene, just exiting stage right without Koichi being aware of it right till the end. (Vigilantes ch 96) 19) “no I think it was just a bomb, bye-bye Soga.”- Ding, ding ding! You are correct!....which, now I think on it, makes me realise that Knuckles planned to blow up Koichi’s house. Like, ok, he knows the building will be abandoned and nobody will be in there at the point it goes off, and it’s the perfect ambush spot, but still – That’s all of Koichi’s shit in there, man. I get Knuckles really wants Koichi to move on from the mistakes of Knuckles’ own past that are threatening him now, but burning everything, including the location you spent such happy times together, seems a bit of overkill, no? Though on the other hand, considering how Koichi didn’t really do anything for 2 years and stayed in place without a kick in the ass, maybe it was necessary to take away his comfort zone…

20) “KNUCKLES I SWEAR TO GOD-“- So….if just walking up the stairs on his own is so much trouble with his damaged knee, how’d he drag the oil drums up there by himself without anybody noticing?

21) “DON’T WORRY THAT’S JUST ALL MIGHT ON HIS WAY TO SAVE THE DAY

ALSO YOUR DAD IS DEAD

BUT DON’T WORRY, HE SURVIVED THAT”- It is quite sad that Knuckles doesn’t seem to value himself at all, even more so than All Might. Yagi at least has the excuse of a greater duty to the country and the people driving him to the point where he had no normal civilian life left, but Knuckles does. He’s got a daughter who needs him, a wife presumably still in a coma or such, and a disciple or two that can handle the street-wise crime fighting without him, but he insists on dragging himself into a death-match like this out of an apparent need to die out of some kind of twisted “atonement” for failing his family so badly before and letting his Quirk get used for evil.

I honestly feel quite a bit disappointed by Knuckles’ stubbornness driving him at this point, even if he did help Koichi survive a sniper round…but at the same time, he seems determined that Koichi never see him again, out of a desire not to “taint” his protégée’s life with his presence anymore.

22) “Now how did Knuckles knew the exact position where McBee would set his ambush and had the time to put all those explosives there? “oh but McBee just pushed koichi down a route he always used it was obvious-” no, that doesn’t count, how did he knew the exact building he would be. That doesn’t even look like the best place to set a sniper’s nest, how did he knew it would be this exact building?”- How’d he know it’d be Koichi’s place in the end, someplace he knew well enough to lay a trap in? Guess Knuckles was reading Furuhashi’s notes to get ahead. @thelreads

#my hero academia #bnha #chapter replies #thelreads #bnha vigilantes #vigilantes 111

0 notes