#and I have trouble understanding the difference between romance and friendship

[asexualjedi]

Was like damn there should be an ace dating app for people who are like asexual or gray romantic or gray sexual. And then I went to google that and realized that would involve sharing my information with an app and giving up personal info to people. And I’m reminded of the people I had to block and the issues I’ve had with guys™️ in the past and that makes me want to break out in hives. Like would hopefully ideally be different. But. Alas. I’ll just have to believe in rom communism.

[magics-neptunes-things]

Clingy Girl

Hi guys ♥

This is a request from here! I love writing for Ona and I missed it so here you are :)

Next one will be the end of Collide, with Leah Williamson.

Enjoy ♥

TW : None :)

______________________________________________________________

The first time you were introduced to Ona, officially, was when she arrived in Barcelona. You’ve been there for two seasons when the Catalan made her appearance in Barcelona. And the least we can say is that you were the victim of what is called a real love at first sight. At the same time, how could it be otherwise?

Ona is a real ray of sunshine in your life since her arrival, completely changing your established routine until now. And more, she even flipped your life and your world upside down. You still don’t understand how and why, but Ona quickly made you understand that your feelings were reciprocal and just two weeks after her return to Barcelona, she asked you for a date.

A second followed quickly, initiated by you this time, then a third. And your first kiss, your first moments, your first sleepless nights talking about everything and other occupations that are only yours. You quickly found yourself addicted to her, you just can’t spend a day away from her without it being torture.

You have decided to keep your relationship secret, however, including for your teammates, wishing to distinguish between your private and professional life. This doesn't prevent you from sitting next to her when traveling or sometimes being partners during workouts.

The most complicated thing though is the fact that Ona is terribly tactile. It's with everyone really and therefore with you too. She never has any gestures with you that would make think of anything other than friendship. The problem is the sensations it gives you and the constant work you have to do on yourself to not forget that you are in public.

Today, it’s a little more difficult than usual, for both of you. Ona flew a few days to Manchester to meet Leila Ouahabi and her girlfriend, one of her closest friends.

You couldn’t go with her because you had things to do for your sponsors, and needless to say, you missed her terribly. You had trouble sleeping alone and ended up miserably falling asleep in front of the television the two nights of her absence. You saw that some people imagined romance scenarios between the two Spaniards, which made you roll your eyes. The girl who posted the photos of Ona and Leila being her girlfriend, it would be more very strange if something happened between them. But it’s probably the downside of not talking about your relationship officially.

The day of her return, Ona arrives around 10:30 in Barcelona while the training starts at 12:00. Needless to say, she doesn’t have time to go home to change. But you offered to take her at the airport that’s why you find yourself in the arrivals hall of Barcelona, making the hundred steps while waiting for your girlfriend.

When she finally appears, you must refrain from jumping on her and settle for a simple hug. You briefly close your eyes and slide your face into her hair in a way that may differ from a hug between two friends, but you can’t help it. Ona's arms who tightens you against her however make you understand that it doesn't bother the young woman.

You end up releasing her reluctantly, looking greedily at her face. In your opinion, Ona has the most perfect face of creation, drawn by the gods. You still remember Ona’s amused laughter and rolling eyes when you told her, but also her cheeks that were tinged with pink. Ona seems to understand what is going on in your head, since she smiles softly and shakes her head.

"Stop" laughed the Catalan by pushing your shoulder.

"I didn’t do anything" you answer maliciously before taking her bag from her hands.

Ona always smiles when she follows you to your car and again when she sits in the passenger seat. You join her after closing your trunk and dropping her travel bag next to your stuff for training. When you find your place behind the wheel, you feel two hands grabbing by the collar of your jacket and Ona draws you against her to put a kiss on your lips.

You can only smile at her lips, putting a hand on her arm.

"I missed you" whispers Ona against your lips.

You hums for any answer at first, dropping several kisses on her lips before backing away slightly.

"I missed you too. Barcelona sucks when you’re not there"

Ona smiles at you tenderly and releases your jacket only to grab one of your hands that she imprisons between her two to put on her lap. She will not release her until the stadium, despite the different conversations you have during the journey.

Arriving at the stadium, you still exchange several kisses after checking that no one could see you before going to training. You are surprised when you feel Ona clinging to your arm and the look you cast at her must speak for you.

"What? I often do it with Aita" Ona said, shrugging her shoulders.

"If you say so" you laugh softly, laying a kiss on her head.

The smell of her shampoo tickles your nose and you must refrain from looking for her lips again. You can’t wait to go home so you can have her only for you. When Ona presented you her flight plan, you must admit that you didn't imagine that it would be necessary to give you a few hours to meet before going to training.

Ona is practically glued to you on the benches listening to Jona’s tactics for the next game. She grabs your hand again to play with your fingers under the table during the meal and you often have to remember yourself that a simple friend doesn't look at the lips of her friend with envy. When you join the changing rooms to put on your training outfits, you take advantage of Ona’s pretext that shows you something on your phone to stick to her, your hand in the hollow of her back.

"Maybe we should tell them we know and they’re anything but subtle?" whispers Claudia to the attention of Patri who walks behind you, in the company of Salma.

"No way" answers Patri "They are already like that without us knowing, imagine how they can be when they have told us about it"

The answer, said on the tone of humor, makes the other two laugh and attracts your and Ona's attention. But they quickly divert the conversation to something else and you reluctantly remove your hand from Ona’s body, letting your fingers brush against her butt in the process. The look the brunette gives you only lasts a split second, but you can’t hold back your guilty smile.

This gesture is also noticed by Patri who share a glance with Pina.

"I changed my mind" Patri whispers to Claudia, watching you laugh and tease while you change. "But we’ll have some fun before"

Patri is quick to implement her plan and quickly catches up with you both before entering the field.

"Ona, can I talk to you?" asks the Majorcan before taking a look at you and a smile. "Alone?"

"Of course" the Catalan replies curiously, briefly squeezing your hand she was holding before letting go.

You give them a smile in return and join the small group already formed by your teammates in the center of the field. You exchange a few words with Aitana and Jana, waiting your girlfriend’s return. And, when she finally appears with Patri, you can only notice her upset look and frown. It’s subtle and discreet, so others don’t notice. But you do.

Unfortunately, the coaches arrive shortly after. This doesn't allow you to try to question her to know what is going on and when your eyes cross, she simply shakes her head negatively, her eyebrows still frowned. You’re a little worried, to be honest. If you weren’t totally focused on Ona, you would have noticed the amused looks that Patri and Claudia exchange.

You cannot question Ona during the first part of the training and it's only when you have your break to drink that you can finally approach her.

"Are you all right?" you ask softly as you look at her

"Yes" simply answers Ona before putting her bottle back in the fridge.

"Ona" you call softly when you see her ready to leave

Her eyes soften a little when they crosses yours. Her silence worries you as much as her behavior and frustration that seems to increase over time.

"Later, all right?"

You nod and put the gourd in the fridge while biting your lip gently. You feel your stomach writhing under anxiety, you don’t know what it is, but it impacts Ona enough not to tell you directly. And this is probably the first time, you’re not used to your girlfriend keeping things secret between you. The worry must be visible on your face, since Ona grabs your hand, making you slightly startled. You didn’t expect her to be here, but left to train further.

"Don’t make that face" whispers Ona, completely ignorant of Patri and Claudia who are watching you with an amused smile. "Patri asked me if I thought you’d say yes if she asks you to go on a date with her, considering you’re single"

"Patri?!" you whispers too, mechanically looking for the other woman on the field.

In the meantime, she has carefully focused her attention on the stretches she has to do. Frowned, you look thoughtfully for a few seconds, trying to make sense of this information. You get along well with her obviously, but like others on the team. You never imagined a relationship other than friendly with her.

"It doesn’t make any sense" you always whisper by shifting your attention to Ona. "We were never close in that way, even before you came here and she never said or showed anything"

"Really?"

Ona's detached air doesn't deceive you and you sigh softly while rolling with your eyes.

"Of course, I would have told you otherwise"

Ona is content to respond with a vague grunt and thoughtfully bites her lip. Not being able to speak freely is frustrating, but it's obviously out of the question to go hide somewhere to talk. You stroke herhand with your thumb to draw herattention to you before speaking again.

"Don’t worry like that. I will refuse, isn't it obvious?"

"Yes" sighs softly Ona relaxing a little despite everything "It’s just that… I don’t know, I don’t like the idea"

"I understand" you assure her with a slight smile.

If you had been alone you would have taken her to you to hug her, but the whole of your team surrounds you and the fact that you held your hand like this for so long is surely strange enough. Ona gives you a light smile before releasing your hand to return to follow her exercises. Again, your exchange wasn't missed by the duo decided to test you.

Contrary to what you had imagined, Ona didn't go back to the other side of the field to resume training but stayed with you all along. You surprise her several times glaring towards Patri, and you discreetly reminded her that she isn't supposed to blame the Majorcan. It only attracted you grunts for a simple answer, but it didn't take Ona away from you. It gives you the impression of having a bodyguard, provided that a bodyguard literally sticks to you all the way.

At the end of the training, Ona is on edge and doesn't hesitate to grab you by the arm to drag you quickly to the changing rooms. You decide to shower at Ona’s, the brunette hoping to escape Patri, but the latter magically appears outside the door of the locker room when you leave.

"Hey Y/N, I have a question for you"

Patri’s tone is joyful and you see from the corner of the eye Ona darkening next to you. Her arm is literally wrapped around yours in a way that is both possessive and protective and her eyebrows are more gathered than ever.

"What’s going on?" You ask nevertheless trying to keep a neutral face.

"Are you doing something tonight? I thought we could go for a drink or something…"

"Yes she’s doing something" Ona answers in your place, pulling on your arm so that you follow her to the exit.

"Tomorrow then?"

You’ve never seen Ona so nervous before. You’re surprised not to see smoke coming out of her ears.

"Tomorrow too" Ona continues to pull at your arm. "And every other day. Come on, let’s go"

You take a few steps back under Ona's insistence while continuing to observe your interlocutor. It's at this moment that your eyes cross Patri's and you detect something other than the hope of someone who asks someone else on a date. Fun? Mischief? It flips in your head and you suddenly stop walking.

"You know" you accuse her, pointing at her.

"Know what?" Ona grumbles, not enjoying you stopping.

"Yes, I know what?" repeats Patri with a big innocent smile.

Ona ends up also understanding and also turns to face Patri. Her eyebrows are ruffled, but it seems that her annoyance is this time related to the little trick played by Patri. And Claudia, but you don’t know her betrayal yet.

"For Ona and me. That’s why you set up this ridiculous plan to ask me out" you roll your eyes shaking your head.

This makes Patri laugh, who shrugs her shoulders before teasingly putting a hand on your arm.

"Don’t denigrate yourself like that, I could very well have done it" said Patri maliciously.

"Stop" moaned Ona, putting both arms around your waist to take you away from Patri. "How did you know?"

"Everyone knows it or suspects it" laughs the Majorcan again. "We thought it would be fun to tease you before telling you."

"We?" repeats Ona with an arched eyebrow.

"Well, maybe Pina helped me to plan this"

"I hate you, both of you."

"I’ll tell Alexia" you sulk

********

"Ona" you laughs when your girlfriend take you back in the bed with her, grabbing you by a piece of your (her) t-shirt. "I’m thirsty"

It’s been a few hours since you came back from training now, you had plenty of time to shower, have dinner and… well, celebrate Ona's come back in her bedroom.

"Well, you are forbidden to leave me now"

"I never dreamed of it" you assure her while returning in bed to face her, your hand slipping delicately in her hair.

Ona doesn't wait a second to stick against you again, so close that it becomes difficult to say which part of the body belongs to whom. It's however far from disturbing you, the arms of Ona in your back caress you tenderly and her face in the hollow of your neck tickles you delicately.

"I hated this day" mumbles Ona, her lips tickling your skin making you shiver.

"Why? You came home and we’re not so bad here, are we?"

"No" agrees Ona smiling, dropping a new kiss before backing away. "But the part where I thought Patri was genuinely attracted to you, not so much"

"You know very well that I would have said no" you answer by depositing a kiss on the corner of her jaw.

There’s nothing you don’t like about her, but the definition of her jaw, you love it. Like her eyes, her smile, her abs and do not start talking about her hands and arms.

"I know" Ona replies, taking you away from the fantasies of your own girlfriend. "But still. At least now everyone seems to know you’re mine"

"It bothers me less than I could have imagined"

You know you both chose to remain secret, but now that you know the rest of the team knows, you can’t help but say it’s better that way. Ona seems to approve, even if she hums for simple answer, her lips starting to ghost the hollow of your neck.

Despite the teasing of your teammates, nothing will really change in your respective behaviors. Ona and you will continue to exchange complicit and amused looks and smiles regularly, your daily proximity will not change either. The only difference is that now, when you travel for a game, Ona doesn't hesitate to take her naps completely lying on you. And you won’t complain about that either.

[pigidin]

OKAY. Am I the only one fascinated by how much Alastor in s1 has interacted with other demons and built a potential for considerable amount of different, broad and unique relationships? With All of them being non-romantic/sexual?

I really don't wanna dive into the discourse of shipping coz honestly, I do think that erasing Al's aroaceness is not cool at all. Personally, I don't see him wishing any romance/sex at all, and well. Considering how platonic he actually is throughout the season, it kinda seems like people forget that friendship (or basically anything non rom-sex) exists in the first place.

Coz, like, let's see what we got::

Vox -- probably one-sided (psychosexual) crush from Vox with possible past friendship between them, them hating on each other yet having (used to have) some respect as well. The ANGST, the drama (for both of sides). Insert aroace troubles (possible aphobia from Vox? Or not? He may be biggest ally as well!) and Vox's petty feelings that are insanely interesting to explore (and laugh at).

Lucifer -- immediate hate that (with a course of events) can turn into forced bonding. The potential of queerplatonic parenting of Charlie is HUGE here. Insecurities from Al? Forced care? Banters? SHENANIGANS? Luci patching up Al after battle, prolly discovering his deal and them slowly bonding on shared interests? Hey.

Rosie -- literal established queerplatonic partners, married for tax benefits, spending their evenings gossiping, hating on Susan and Al rolling his eyes on another romance-rel drama Rosie was trying to help sb with. Rosie can have insane influence on him whether it is understanding modern things or just being with him when he needs it. It also gives off mom/son to me.

Husk -- fucked up master-pet not-friendship with probable care rooted since they were closer in past. Is it toxic? Yes. Is it giving off some problematic dynamic? Sure. Yet it's fucking complex on its core considering pilot, bits and pieces of their interaction and how easily Husk used to insult Al until he overstepped. Them two are quite similar if you think about it and if Al got over his ego it could benefit him a lot.

Niffty -- daugther/father dynamic with them sharing one sadistic-psycho braincell and genuinely enjoying each other's quirks. Protective Al? I just need more Niff and them two being partners in the most outrageous crimes.

Mimzy -- friendship going since they were humans, with them having an amazing (potential) backstory of sharing evenings on two. Al enjoying her company as well as being protective and helpful to her with nothing in return.

Charlie -- manipulated into trusting you as a dad figure? Don't tell me there is nothing below Al's creepy plans or that he wouldn't grow to care for her. He already is proud of her and finds amusement in her inspiration-skills (also, performance is his thing for a reason)

Angel -- I was honestly kinda upset we didn't see any interactions between them except one sex joke, coz my past era of Hunicasts was a fuel to their duo. Them bonding over how different they are is the best description of their dynamic. Also banters and body-puns.

You can't just erase Alastor from interacting with people, but putting him inside boxes of allonormative relationships while he has such a fucking huge potential for everything beyond just that - is quite.. disappointing. People turning a blind eye to a wide variety of relationships he can have (potential to which is set in canon) for the sake of just romance/sex is low key sad.

It's AWESOME to see ppl actually understanding it and.. damn THANKS to everyone who explores Al's relationship with others without it involving final wish to stick tongues into places. Dynamics can be interesting and exciting without it.

I really don't wanna project my romance-aversion onto Al, but when romance and sex is one thing you see everywhere.. it's hard to just let it slip.

You are allowed to do whatever you want, exploring physical intimacy is fun as well, and having Al, well, there are bunch of ways to show it with respecting his orientation and the fact that IT AFFECTS RELATIONSHIPS/ATTRACTIONS but please just don't make it the center of your attention, the one thing relationship revolves around, coz sadly it's just exactly how it looks like from some folks.

[bloggingboutburgers]

Reading your blog, I'm starting to see my relationship with my bf differently (we've been together for over a decade). Like, I've been questioning my romantic orientation for some time, suspecting I might be somewhere on the aromantic spectrum. But I realise I don't really have a clear image of what romance actually is and if it's something I have in my relationship. Like, he's my best friend. But what makes it different that a very close friendship? Apart, you know, the fact we live together and see each other every day. I'm also asexual so we don't really have sex, but for the very rare time I feel like doing something for him, but it's not really something we do, though I know sex and romance are to different things, straight people tend to say that the difference between friendship and dating is sex. I've heard allos saying "if I don't have sex with my s/o, what are we? Friends?" Anyway, I'm just more and more confused by what those criterias are for defining what is and what is not a romantic relationship. Love? I mean, love can have so many forms, how am I to regognise which one I feel? I just care about my bf. I like spending time together. We help each other on a daily basis. And when one of us need alone time we give as much time as the other needs. We do our things each in our corners and meet in the middle when we want company. We're happy this way. And that's great! I just can't comprehend what this all means. Sometimes I'm confused about the feelings I get for other people. Am I attracted to them or do I just want to smother them with my intense friendship? Which is hard. I sometimes feel like I love my friend to hard and I shy away during our interactions for fear to overwhelm them with my love. What's the difference between the two? Between my relationship with my bf and the friendship with those people I have to keep away sometime for fear to be "too much"? I'm sorry for these ramblings. You probably don't have the answers to this, but I needed to tell all this to someone that might understand at least some of it. I love your blog btw.

Sorry I'm replying so late – but thank you so much for all of this input, it's actually so interesting to hear your take on your own experience.

You're right, I don't have the answers, because every experience is very personal and I don't wanna project onto others, but there's a lot of points I actually relate to very much – like, I don't have a clear idea of what romance even is either, I just feel in my gut that it's not what I have with my queerplatonic partner. I guess in my own case I've also always had a bit of trouble with the idea of a "best friend" (like, I HAVE entertained the idea that this or that person might be my "best friend" at some points in my life, but I always end up coming back to the thought that I don't feel OK putting one person above others in my head – I work more in tiers made out of several people at once).

I might also be overthinking things but I often hear in the long-term-relationship discourse that romantic partnerships often wind up turning into friendship over time and that's OK – no idea how that works but it's interesting to think about, and I wonder if there's any truth to that on an aromantic spectrum basis? Like maybe... If both of us are on the aromantic spectrum, then maybe we just didn't get the "romantic high" part because we don't feel romantic attraction or feel it less than most people, and we're straight to that "friendship" part people talk about? ...Either way, what you describe with your bf sounds like a vibe, a healthy vibe to me. Sounds like you guys have it figured out and I wish you the best, honestly.

Also lol it really IS a useful and sobering reminder that to most allo people, the "sex = romance" idea is probably very prevalent still... Makes it even harder to figure ourselves out

Either way sorry for rambling and thank you SO MUCH for sharing your self-reflection, honestly, whatever conclusion you come to I hope life is good for you^^

[percheduphere]

I check in on Reddit once in a while to gauge where the "general audience" is at with certain things, including shipping. Unsurprisingly, the majority of subredditors don't see Lokius as having any validity.

I mulled over why this is, and I've come to the conclusion that, as a society, we are very bad at understanding that the human experience is a fluid continuum. We get so bogged down with labels and separating things by those labels that we don't consider the fact that those labels are in and of themselves social constructs.

This may be why so many people have trouble wrapping their minds around being trans, gender fluidity, romantic friendships, gray asexuality--essentially anything that can be in flux. Ironic, since our lives are always in flux.

To tie this back to Lokius and shipping in general, heteronormative media relies on oblique cues for romance: falling onto a mattress, facing one another across a low-lit table and speaking in hushed voices, sharing a blanket, a kiss.

But the queer experience has been oppressed for so long that a heteronormative audience doesn't know how to look for queer romantic cues that are not overt (physically or verbally), and they don't know how to look for those cues precisely because they've never had to be hidden. They never lived that experience.

And this bias inevitably leads to the logical fallacy that heterosexual friends can absolutely fall in love, but two men who started out as friends shouldn't (read: "can't") fall in love because "friends and lovers are two different things".

Really? So by that definition, my lover can't also my friend? What?

"Why can't they just be friends?" That question signals the fear of men being mistaken as gay when showing another man affection. This fear doesn't really happen between women. At least, not often. I have yet to meet a woman who was offended for being mistaken as their best friend's lover.

This means that our media needs a queer male character who has BOTH a male romantic partner AND cis-straight male friends to show both can (and does) happen concurrently.

Gah, the rigidness of social constructs is worse than duct tape.

[ballblender]

“One bed!?"

Kagami Taiga x Manager!Reader

(Saw a list of generic romance tropes and couldn’t help myself)

cw: sfw, fluff + comedy (except i’m not funny), timeskip match predictions, kagami being an awkward giant, the one bed trope, aged up (kagami and reader are both 18 after the interhigh), manga ending (kagami stays in japan in the manga, unlike the movie)

The last two years were, a lot to say the least. Not only had the Vorpal Swords taken off shortly after the match against Jabberwock, but with the permanent addition of Kagetora as manager of the Seirin basketball team, Kagami had a lot on his plate.

It was difficult when the second, or should I say third, years graduated. The reliance and foundation built between them was one not easily replaced. Additionally, despite the newfound popularity of the team, it stayed relatively small. Inevitably, this led to Seirin’s defeat in the Interhigh.

With the Winter Cup in sight, he really just wanted to feel that glory again, winning with his old Serin teammates.

And he did, thanks to your help. As a younger friend of Riko, you had asked to be the manager for Seirin after hearing of their loss in the Interhigh, and given your friendship with their old coach, the team was in no position to refuse your offer.

And upon seeing the results that your suggestions produced, they were ready to keep you by any means possible.

By the time the Winter Cup came around, it was as if Seirin was a new team entirely; their coordination and plays were extremely effective against teams of any caliber, and the bonds between the members ensured their success.

It was also because of this display that Kagami found himself becoming increasingly drawn to you, for reasons made clear to him by Kuroko.

"You like her don't you?"

"WHAT? I DO NOT- i do."

"Yeah, I thought so."

And so the saga began. Kagami would start to grow more and more awkward around you. This caused a bit of a problem, as you began to think that he was getting sidetracked, and as the most powerful player on the team, causing the other players efforts to go to waste slightly.

It only got worse when you took him to the side to speak with him alone, and expressed your concern for his lack of concentration. He just stuttered and wasn't sure how to respond.

"Kagami, I seriously need you to listen to me..."

"I-i understand...I'll do m-my best for you and the team."

Out of nowhere, you hugged him tightly, which caught him completely off guard.

"I'm glad you understand..."

After practice that day, Kagami felt so light.

-

-

-

The night before the final against Rakuzan, the team, thanks to the school's newly increased budget (and a little pocket change from Riko), decided to stay at a nearby hotel with a gym so that they could get some morning training in before the big game.

However, upon arrival at the front desk, you ran into a problem.

"B-but I swear I booked 7 rooms..."

"I'm sorry, but there are only 6 listed here..."

You sigh.

"Are there any rooms available?"

"Yes, however there is only one bed opposed to the three in the other 6."

"...it's fine, i'll take it, sorry for the trouble, and thank you."

You walk over to the lobby, where the other members are waiting to get into their rooms.

"What took so long? Was there a problem with our rooms?" Kuroko asks.

"There was actually...so one of you will have to stay with me in a different roo-"

"Kagami will do it."

"K-Kuroko! Don't just say that!" Kagami whisper-yells, face turning redder each word.

The other members shrug in agreement, wanting to be in their own shared rooms to be able to freely discuss whatever they wanted without the eyes of their manager watching over them.

Kagami learns pretty quickly that trying to fight is useless. It's adorable, you think to yourself. The team heads up to their block of rooms, while you and Kagami take a different route to your room.

It looks like you forgot to tell him one detail though...

"One bed!?"

"Yeah, I hope that's okay... Unless any of the other guys let you sleep with them in their beds, we have to share."

Before you can even utter another word, Kagami is zooming across the hotel to the other players' rooms, knocking on each door.

Unfortunately for Kagami, with his size comes consequences. None of the other players wanted to share their already small beds with the biggest player on their team, even Kuroko.

"Y/N is smaller than me, sharing a bed should be no issue for the two of you." Kuroko states.

Kagami just lies on the floor, burying his red face in his hands.

"gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."

A knock on the door is heard by the others, and they open the door.

"Hey, have you guys seen Kaga- oh, there he is."

At the sound of your voice, Kagami springs up, wiping the dust and lint off of himself.

"Y-Y/N! I-i..."

Knowing that letting him resist and even just speak anymore would result in Kagami most likely passing out, Kuroko says,

"Kagami was just about to go back to your room, he just needed to borrow some deodorant. He's forgetful like that."

Kagami shoots Kuroko a death-glare, in a way that screams "Are you my wingman or what!?"

You nod in acknowledgement and turn to Kagami, smiling "That's okay, just get back soon!"

The moment you leave,

"Ow-ow-ow...what was that for...?" says Kuroko, Kagami's hands digging into his shoulders.

Kagami just stares at him with desperate eyes.

"Come on Kuroko...let me stay with you..."

"That's perfect, say that to Y/N and you guys will be dating in no time."

"...You're the worst..."

You lay on the bed, sprawled out, tapping through all of the outdated TV channels logged into the hotel's TV. (a/n needed to add this to rant: WHY ARE ALL HOTEL ROOM TV CHANNELS OLD AND PIXELATED IT DRIVES ME INSANE)

"...G-got any room for me...?"

You spring up in shock, and notice Kagami standing at the door, blushing like mad, avoiding eye contact.

You roll to the side and pat the other half meant for Kagami.

"I guess the others didn't let you sleep in their beds."

"...y-yeah..." Kagami squeaks, as he feels your shoulder touch his.

You, of course, are not oblivious to his feelings. It was bugging you that Kagami seemingly avoided you whenever you tried to talk to him, but the rosy cheeks and unintentional voice cracks whenever he'd try to talk to you.

May as well see where this goes...

You intentionally brush your thigh up against his under the guise of reaching for the remote on the other side.

"...ah..."

You giggle, noticing his tiny sounds. It's truly unbelievable that such a big player's demeanour can be reduced to a mouse's under the right circumstances.

"Hm? What's wrong?" you ask, though, you know exactly what you're doing to him.

"..."

You decide to let it go, especially since Kagami looks like he'd explode if you pestered him any longer.

As the time passes, you decide to ask Kagami, "Are you ready to sleep now?"

He was trying his best until this point, he was. But the thing he'd been...dreading? Anticipating? Whatever it was, he was not prepared.

The moment you switch off the lights, you're met with Kagami's arms hugging you tightly.

"K-Kagami what-"

"...please..."

It's warm. His embrace makes you feel safe. You decide not to speak again, and instead, you both fall asleep, comforted by each other's warmth.

-----

sorry this is out so late LOL

[rolling-storm-writing]

Dating Graves (MW2 Headcanons)

Authors note:  Hey yall! this is gonna be a Graves/Top!Male!Reader I also tried to keep the reader as gender-neutral as possible so lemme know what yall think.  I’ve never written for this guy so take it with a grain of salt but regardless please enjoy!

Phillip Graves was not an easy man to befriend, and if you didn’t work with him in the forces it might be even harder.  He’s a tough nut to crack even with all shit the two of you have been through together.

Eventually, he would warm up to you, and he’d get used to seeing your face and hearing your voice on coms.  But it’s a very slow burn that’s for sure, that man is very dedicated to his job and would certainly put it over you 7/10 times. 

Your joking banter would become almost routine with his rolling eyes rolling even further with each new joke you managed to write up.  Soon enough he’d slowly start to see you as a friend he could depend on, when giving instructions his eyes would always find yours in the group.  Your slow nodding of understanding never failed to make him more confident with whatever he was planning.

Out of the two of you, you would definitely fall in love with him first.  He would fall much harder as time went on and your friendship only grew stronger.  Acts of service and words of approval were his love language.

Every morning he made sure to get himself a coffee and your (beverage of choice) every time without fail.  Would watch you clean your guns or sharpen your knives with a few “looks good” or “you’re good at that” from time to time.

He’s still a hard head and often times you two but heads on certain issues especially some opinions or ideas.  It stems from his own deep-buried issues or bad experience but no matter what you two always come back together.  

Around the four-year mark of knowing each other, he would start seeing you in a different light.  I see him having trouble with his sexuality and dealing with the idea he might be gay or at least bisexual.

He can be pretty insecure at times and these kinds of insecurities would start to cause tension between you and him.  He would start to push you away and start to hate how great you’d make him feel.

Your banter would stop, he wouldn’t get your drinks anymore, and overall it would just boil over into a big fight.  You’d confront him about it and this would just push you both too hard limits.

I could see him admitting his feelings in that heated argument and it would be the biggest weight on him.  The surprise on his face when you pulled him into the biggest and strongest hug.

From then on it would be a slow but beautiful romance with you slowly pulling him out of his shell.  Road trips, fancy dinners, traveling, and lots of DIY date nights.

 I can also see him being a very loyal guy who’s pretty possessive and kind of clingy.  Always thinking you might leave him for someone else but you always reassure him otherwise.

It takes him a bit to get used to being the more submissive partner too, especially if you’re taller than him.  He’s very much a power-bottom who just loves to be handled like one.  Not a big fan of PDA but loves the way you hold him and kiss him in private.

Adores the way your hands hold his waist and just melts whenever you kiss his neck.  You make him feel safe and this man just turns to putty in your strong hands…

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ending Note:  I hope you guys liked this and if you have any suggestions for more let me know! I was thinking of doing one for Price and Ghost as well!  Thanks for reading!

[eponastory]

Below is a screenshot of a silly argument.

I wouldn't say delusional... just observant.

So, I'm also a Dramoine fan and have been since I read the books way back when they came out. Now there is a little bit of me that is kinda not interested in Harry Potter because of all the contention with JK Rowling and her... opinions.

But besides all that...

There really is no comparison between the ships on an individual level. I say this because it's kinda like comparing Sephiroth and Vergil (Devil May Cry) from different universes and power scaling in those universes. It just doesn't work. Bad example, but you get what I'm saying.

Dramoine is a great pairing when you get towards the end of the series (Half-Blood Prince and onwards) it works because that is when Draco is battling himself over following Voldemort and his own morals. This is when Narcissa makes a deal with Severus as well. But we get the understanding that Draco does, in fact, have morals. He is just a kid being asked to do something he doesn't really agree with and can't bring himself to do. He is also a coward and a bully. Let's not forget that. I'd also say Classist since he is raised to think that Mudbloods are beneath Pure Bloods. He belittled Hermoine every chance he got, but also found out she could stand up for herself. This is a great enemies to lovers ship... there is no question on that.

Now on to Zuko... who is similar in some ways to Draco, but the similarities are minor. Zuko always had morals, and he always had good in him. He did bad things out of desperation because he was troubled. His frustration is out of trying to prove himself to his narcissistic sociopath of a father and getting the chance to regain everything that Ozai seemingly took from him. Getting to Katara here, it's clear that they were enemies at the start. But how can you do enemies to lovers when enemies to friends IS IN THE SHOW!

So I don't know what to tell you.

By the end of Book 3, Zuko and Katara are friends. It's written in there for everyone to see so I don't really get why going one step towards romance is such a big deal?

The only defining line between romance and friendship is how far you are willing to go with intimacy.

As far as Katara not wanting to marry into the Fire Lord's family... I don't see how that is a factor when you care about the person you marry more than where they came from or their origins. Not all relationships are like that, but it can be that way. But yeah, Katara and Zuko are friends by the end of the show. So, that argument is silly.

It's just another cherry pick with no thought behind it.

[bengiyo]

La Pluie: The Kindness is the Point

Hello again, friends and fellow clowns. It’s a Saturday evening and I have recovered from the Devil’s Nap. I’ve seen some great posts already, and I feel compelled to share some thoughts as well following Episode 9 of La Pluie. This episode focused on the fact that Patts has always been a kind person and that Nara is deserving of grace. This show displays a gentleness for its characters that feels so queer to me because so many of us can appreciate how difficult it is to have love, and the way this show goes out of its way to NOT punch down on its characters cannot be overstated.

Nara Gets What She Needed and What We All Deserve

Before I get into talking about Nara, please go read @liyazaki post about the breakup scene and @lurkingshan talking about how Nara’s role in this show subverts the faen fatale trope. Both are brilliant, and I cannot do them justice in any reiteration.

gif by @liyazaki

I absolutely love how this show treats Nara. It’s the exact opposite of bisexual erasure. We have seen across five episodes now that Patts’ feelings for Nara were incredibly real and sincere. They loved each other. When he began hearing Saengtai it became a completely understandable problem in their relationship. Saengtai doesn’t get jealous of the former relationship between them; he instead gets upset because he sees that once again the soulmate connection has caused pain in another relationship. We could have left Nara behind in the last episode and totally been fine, but this show said that she deserves closure, and she doesn’t deserve to lose her friends.

Nara comes to Saengtai and apologizes unknowingly interfering in his relationship with Patts, states that she wouldn’t have done any of this if she had known about them and apologizes for causing his misunderstanding (implying that she blames herself for sending him into his mountain spiral). Tai instead apologizes to her for causing so much trouble and says that all of this was because of his own troubles. You can see the sigh of relief in Nara and the immediate drop in tension.  Nara offers that she likes Tai and Patts as a pair, and clearly says something about Patts’ body to make Saengtai blush. I think it’s wonderful that Tai doesn’t have to leave this trip feeling any kind of ambivalence for his boyfriend’s ex.

Later, Dream brings Nara along to the party, and everyone checks on Tai and Patts to see how this will play out. Tai assures everyone that they talked, and Nara is instantly welcomed back into the fold. The other vets are genuinely relieved to have her back with them and reminisce about old times they had together. After the party montage Patts uses the truth or dare game to pull Nara aside and have one final conversation with her about their relationship.

gif by @liyazaki

Mor already wrote beautifully about the Patts and Nara scene (linked above), and I think it’s so special that this show gave us this scene. This show began with Tai letting us know that his soulmate parents divorced. He has painful feelings wrapped up in how soulmate relationships dissolve, and he still feels a lot of angst about his own parents. I think it’s incredibly helpful for Saengtai to see that Patts and Nara still love each other despite not being able to move forward as lovers.

Finally, the show lets Nara be sad about the end of her romance with Patts. Despite the friendship they might rebuild and maintain in the future, her pain is real, and it matters, too. She’s allowed to have a moment of sadness with Dream and weep for the hopes that she must let go. There are even hints that perhaps Dream held a quiet crush on Nara before (@slayerkitty and @respectthepetty). How wonderfully kind it is of this show to show so many different people holding unrequited feelings for each other without it turning into angst or cruelty. The end of one relationship is not the end of love. Hopefully Tai remembers this as we get back into some of his family drama.

We needed to see the amount of grace extended to Nara. In a show about how love is an active and ongoing choice, there’s no way we could move forward without honoring Nara. I also think it’s important that Nara acknowledge the love between two men as special and valuable as Tai also acknowledges that her love with Patts is valuable. Despite the complex queer relationship chart being drawn across this friend group, everyone is determined to keep folks together.

Patts Has Always Been Good

Let’s talk about Patts. We’ve been saying for weeks that he’s a good guy and that the show has given us no real reason to be suspicious of him. I loved the reveal about him being The Kind One. I’m also curious about the temper he mentioned he has to Nara.

We finally got @shortpplfedup to watch the show, and she nailed down immediately that the core themes are about the choice to love each other in small ways constantly. I cannot stress enough that for all the writing and thinking we’ve done this episode, Tai and Patts do not refer to each other as soulmates this episode at all. They are boyfriends now. They are boyfriends because Patts has always been kind. They are boyfriends because Saengtai has been open to kindness even when he’s hurting and a bit scared.

gif by @liyazaki

My man Patts loves to write notes.

I love the reveal that Patts and Tai happened to be neighbors years ago. Patts was seeing Nara at the time, which we know because the grandmother asked about her. We know that Patts was an attentive and diligent grandson who happened to notice that Tai was clearly going through something. He didn’t even know what Tai looked like. He just saw that he was hurting and wanted to help. We know that help mattered to Tai to the point that even Tien knows about it. When Patts’ grandmother dies, Tai goes out of his way to send that kindness right back.

gifs by @liyazaki

What’s more, you can see these two falling even deeper in love with each other as soon as they recognize that they were briefly pen pals during a very difficult time in their lives. This is great news for fans like me who liked episode six opening with a high heat scene, because Tai is wearing this sweater in the scenes we saw in the trailer during what felt like their first time.

We eatin’ good next week. (“Not as good as Patts.” - @ginnymoonbeam )

However, Patts mentioned to Nara that he has a temper, and we’ve seen that he’s painfully aware of Lomfon’s interest in Tai. I like the show’s choice to hold Lomfon’s conversation with Patts until next week, because it doesn’t matter to Tai. Tai isn’t interested in Lomfon in any way comparable to Patts. I’m excited to see Lomfon get decked for interfering, and for Tai to get mad at Patts for feeling threatened.

I Love Everyone in This Show

I think it’s notable that Saengtien has dropped any pretense that he enjoys being around Lomfon, and I like that it clearly complicates Lomfon’s own feelings. You can see that Lomfon doesn’t even know how to deal with the passive kindness Tai extends to him just because he’s close to his brother.

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

I loved the vets being excited to welcome Nara back into the circle. I also like them joking about finding something new to tease Patts and Tai about.

I loved Dream going to Nara and giving her a shoulder to cry on.

I loved Kung and Bow cheering for Tai and Patts new relationship.

I loved Tai giving Bow yet another cutting look to not get into his time with Patts and teasing her even as she was trying to exit the scene.

I loved Tai and Tien continuing their bit of poking each other in the face with Tien pouting at the end with “I’m your little brother!”

I love Patts’ grandmother passing these notes back and forth just because it was something her grandson wanted.

I love Saengnuea not even being sure if he should do the “don’t hurt my brother” thing with Patts because he’s younger than Patts. I also love him taking care of his brother’s cat so he could go on the trip and complaining that the cat wouldn’t reciprocate his love.

In so many ways this show is about how important it is to extend a little bit of kindness to each other. It’s about how far just a little bit of grace goes. What with Be My Favorite also saying something similar this week (@ginnymoonbeam), I am enjoying some of the themes in the more dramatic shows this year. So, “Please. Be kind, especially when we don’t know what’s going on.”

Thank you as always for coming to my post.

[mahlersgirl]

more on princess mizu itoh hcs (a part 2 of this)(this accidentally became a small fic as I got invested) (tagging @roninzuzu bc who else shall feed on the dynamic between these two)

as mizu becomes a young woman there are talks of her being married off, but there's the obvious question of what noble house would accept a wife with eyes of an onryo

takayoshi is genuinely worried about his cousin and writes to her about it

her short and angry answer was "worry about your own wedding, I'll be nobody's wife"

it's around this time she runs away from home and takayoshi is sure he had something to do with it and blames himself for mizu being somewhere out there doing god knows what

and for this mizu I think it would be a lot like how akemi ran away to help taigen, except mizu is seeking revenge against the white men and doesn't want to use the itoh family's resources (lots of resentment for being treated like a monster)

it wouldn't be easy at all and she involves herself in lots of trouble that makes her realize that living as a princess, even a neglected one, is still skies above what a commoner samurai would have to go through (again this is akemi arc but add violence)

eventually she would cross paths with mikio (🤮) and maybe he would take her under his wing and care for her after she's severely wounded? it will also evolve into the romance we're acquainted with

now, after the telltale moment in which mikio calls her a monster for handing his ass on a plate during sparring, instead of the bounty hunters being sent to kill her, I can see it being the _itoh family soldiers_ sent to retrieve their princess who had eloped with some good for nothing farmer it seems

not only that, takayoshi is there with them, having missed his sister for a whole year and just relieved he found her again

"how did you find me?" she hissed with slitted eyes full of ire, knife secured in hand ready to decimate his whole troop if he dared to touch her. maybe she would even make him bald for his petulence

takayoshi blinked in astonishment

"you wrote to me, mizu" he said reaching back to get the scroll, his familiar stutter making her feel nostalgic, but not less mad. "you asked me to take you back and bring gold to you and your husband."

and mizu suddenly understands, as mikio materializes by her side, looking unaffected by the number of armed soldiers on his property. she was made into a fool. when mikio looked bewildered she would trade a life of luxuries for revenge, he was in fact envious of her position.

the man mizu loved was a fucking bastard.

he was also the one who first met her blade, to the shock of everyone watching her, a bride covered in the blood of her own husband. she looks at the closest soldier next, looking ready to attack, but takayoshi was faster:

"do not raise your blades at her!" he yelled out his authority, the trembling of his voice diminishing with the loudness. "mizu, let's go home... I'll intercede with my mother on your behalf. we can forget this ever happened."

"takayoshi, in respect of our friendship and the only familial bonds I ever respected," mizu said finally raising her eyes at him, blue meeting brown, the color of the sea and the summer sky who meant a childhood of laughs and promises. "forget I ever existed. this is not your battle to fight. I was never a real part of the itoh family and you know it well. leave me alone and spare me the sin of spilling your blood."

and takayoshi understands, unfortunately, that this was never about both of them being different. mizu was always the one who was hurt the most by her origins and he could never truly know what she went through. he was still the second son of a powerful house and no stuttering or insecurity could take that away from him.

at times, to love someone also meant to let them go. mizu had chosen a path in which he was nothing more than a nuisance. the least he could do was let her be.

he makes his men retreat, but not after putting down the treasure of gold and jewelries he had brought because of the message. he didn't know if she would use any of it, but he wouldn't, either.

"the winter palace will be open." he says before stepping into the carriage. "if not as a cousin, a brother or a friend, perhaps you can still reach me out as an acquaintance. I would enjoy having tea with you once again."

she didn't offer him another word of farewell as his caravan disappeared in the hills and she was bathed by the rain, too mentally exhausted by a reaction. no husband or family, she was fated to be a lonely monster, in the end.

only revenge could keep her satisfied.

[iamnmbr3]

hello once again!🤍

(Before i start, everyone has their own interpretation about pansy and Draco's relationship but personally, i don't think they were besties or friends as fandom shows(i understand why they do that)and i even don't think they were dating i think pansy had a crush on draco, desperately drooling over him but not that deep feelings really and draco liked attention)

But my point is how many people think they were dating and it was IMPLIED in their opinion.. so i really think it is harry's pov making them think like that and MORE INTERESTING thing is that harry doesn't notice ginny has a crush on him and fans tell he's as observant as brick wall(which i'm not agreeing) but the moment pansy shows interest and attention to draco, harry notices it(like draco coming in yule ball with pansy and "she was clutching his arm")and mentions it in some unpleasant way(like stroking draco's hair)

I can't stop smiling thinking about this really. What do you feel about this?😂

Hello! What a great question. Basically I agree with you. I have to say I really do enjoy some good Draco & Pansy friendship dynamics in fic. But just like fics can add in romances between characters who weren't romantically involved in canon (and do an amazing job of it too - there are characters who are married in my head even tho they never even met in canon due to some excellent fics I've read) fanon can extrapolate based on what is in canon or what just seems fun even if there's not much canonical basis.

Draco's dynamic with his fellow Slytherins in canon is super interesting and we get hints that there's actually a lot of distance and performativeness in how he interacts with them, which means that even before 6th year he's actually very isolated and lacks any true confidants, even though it's not that apparent till then.

In his world - the world of rich, influential purebloods - Draco is genuinely hugely important. I mean, his family are sitting in the Minister's Box in book 4. No other family is there. It's all officials. They are important and influential due to their wealth and social connections. Draco is a Black on his mother's side and Malfoy on his father's side, so from a blood purest perspective he's also about as pedigreed and high status as you can get.

All this is to say that he has a certain image to maintain and doesn't really interact with his classmates as equals. He treats Crabbe and Goyle as minions, more than friends - something that they apparently resent, as they are rather gleeful about switching up this dynamic once his family has a fall from grace. Similarly I would imagine there is a certain distance in his relationship with Pansy and that they probably don't have the intimacy that Harry has with his friends, though a closer dynamic can be super fun to read and explore in fic.

I personally read Draco as gay and so I don't think he had romantic feelings for Pansy. I think Pansy's feelings for Draco can be read several different ways. She may have been attracted to him and/or assumed they would get married since he would be an advantageous match (even if he was gay he may also have assumed they would eventually marry). Or they could have simply been friends since he certainly is a very important person to be friends with within her social circle.

She does seem to stick by him in 6th year when his family is starting to have troubles (though of course him being a Death Eater may given the illusion that should Voldemort take over, he'd be in good standing again - by 7th year this illusion is gone and it's clear that Voldemort does not favor his family and they are "finished" as Crabbe puts it.)

In the 6th book Pansy can also be read as knowing Draco has a crush on Harry and being romantically interested in Blaise, not in Draco. She and Blaise do eventually get married after all, and Pansy seems awfully interested in figuring out what kind of girl he likes. I tend to prefer this reading and like to see Draco and Pansy as mostly platonic, though with the possibility that Draco did know there was a possibility they might end of married because #Purebloods.

Regardless, I don't think they were ever dating. Harry would definitely have noticed if they were. I think they just kind of defaulted to each other for plus one type situations. (Just as they might have defaulted to matrimony at one point, before deciding to ultimately forge their own paths with the people they preferred). Harry does definitely get weirdly jealous of just the idea that they might be dating. Which is sure interesting. But they don't ever seem to. If they were actually together I'm quite sure Harry would have noticed and thrown a fit lol.

[aziraphales-library]

Hi!! Thank you for doing all this! I wasn't sure if this was already something you've been asked about, but do you know of any arranged marriage fics? I keep trying to find some but the filter always looks for the arrangement instead. I figured I'd give asking you a shot!

Thank you!!

Hello! There are a few posts on our #arranged marriage tag. Here are some more for you...

Comfort, Keep, and Honor by Meridians_of_Madness (M)

If Heaven and Hell decided that they needed their Earth operatives married straight from the beginning- well, it all ends the same way, but the road getting there is different. An Arranged Marriage AU.

An Arrangement of True Minds by Sodium_Azide (T)

Two families, alike in pragmatism if not dignity, make an arrangement 14th century style.

Aziraphale Fell and Anthony Crowley do their family duty, as they understand it, but their actual sacrifice wasn't written in the prenup.

Circumstances of Distinction by angelsnuffbox (M)

"Once, when Aziraphale was younger and far more of a romantic, he had hoped to be swept off his feet into a whirlwind romance: to feel his heart grow asunder over the passionate thrills of love - a Shakespearean love, filled with flowery words and heated confessions. But such aspirations did not long last. In these circles of society, people married for power. For alliance. To marry for love was to condemn oneself to a life of poverty. And to find that love, out of circumstance, from the stale negotiations of a wedded alliance was above all the greatest privilege, one that could not be afforded by even the wealthiest creature in the world."

*

Sir Anthony Crowley has been living his independent life as a cast-out younger son when he had a baronetcy and failing estate suddenly thrust upon him. Mr Aziraphale, son of a wealthy tradesman, could be the answer to his troubles. A balance of rank and wealth, was this not just what unions were for? A series of meetings in the ballrooms of Bath will determine what fate has in store for these two.

A (non angsty) Regency era arranged marriage AU

Just Married by TawnyOwl95 (E)

Aziraphale East does not wish to get married.

His mother has other ideas. After all, what other choice does a gently bred omega have?

When Aziraphale persists in rejecting suitors, Mrs East takes matters into her own hands. However she has thoroughly underestimated how stubborn her youngest child can be.

As does his new husband.

to linger in you by NaroMoreau (E)

An arranged marriage is set in place before Aziraphale can be crowned as a King. He hates the idea but there's nothing to be done.

Luckily, his betrothed turns out to be quite agreeable, except...

... not everything is as it seems.

Incorporation by Ack_Emma (E)

Best friends from rival wool merchant families, Antoinetta Crowley and Aziraphale Fell are shocked when their parents arrange a surprise marriage between them.

But this new arrangement is a chance to be on their own side and to be left alone for a bit. Their lifelong friendship is solid, what could go wrong?

As it turns out, plenty.

Times are changing, and married life is harder than it looks when you're a pair of young, ineffable dorks.

- Mod D

[sotwk]

Intruders (Fili x OC fanfic, first of series)

Summary: During their sojourn at Rivendell, Fili makes the acquaintance of an elf-maid who is surprisingly familiar with the ways of Dwarves. Unlike the rest of the Company however, he is less enchanted by and more suspicious of this mysterious stranger.

Part One of a planned series about the relationship between Fili x OC elleth, called "The Only Gold".

Word count: 2.3 k 

Pairing: Fili x FemOC (2nd Person POV)

Content: Prelude to romance, friendship, fluff, mild angst, The Hobbit events, Dwarf shenanigans

Warnings: None

To Read on AO3: Link

Dedication: For @fizzyxcustard, the first Durin (Thorin) writer to befriend me on Tumblr and who introduced me to the wonderful community of Durin stans! My first foray into Erebor is rightfully dedicated to you. Thank you for being such a supportive mutual to me and others in our orbit!

The Only Gold

Intruders

Third Age 2941 June

Imladris, The Last Homely House

It was difficult to decide which amused you more: observing the Naugrim in their merrymaking around the fire, or listening to Lord Lindir’s anguished groans over their antics as he stood in secret watch right next to you. 

“I suppose tomorrow this courtyard shall have to be scrubbed as well,” the elf-lord muttered, his dark eyes scanning the blobs and heaps of food scraps that littered the normally pristine white flagstones of the circular portico. “Tis a small mercy that the Nindari fountain already empties and cleanses itself, otherwise…” He rubbed a hand over his mouth as he cut off his own frustrations. “Forgive me; it has been a long day.”

You rested a gentle hand on his arm. “Do not be so troubled, my lord,” you said, careful to whisper despite the small risk of your voice being heard over the cacophony of laughter and singing. “From my experience, Dwarves mind their manners well enough to clean up after themselves, no matter how terrible the messes they like to make.” 

“I shall have to take your word for it,” Lindir sighed, with a grimace that indicated he remained entirely unconvinced. “What odd little creatures they are! They seem to actually revel in chaos and noise and sheer tomfoolery. And from what I understand, these are not only grown males of their race, but some are also members of Durin’s royal house!”

After a while, the prim elf-lord fell silent to watch you watch the company of outsiders, and soon he picked up on the delight shining from your eyes. 

“How similar are they to Dwarves you have previously engaged with?”

His innocent question called a flood of deep memories to the front of your mind, and the mirth on your face wavered. There was no way for Lindir to have known the specifics, and if he had, his impeccable manners would have restrained him from even broaching the subject. But your most recent experiences with the Naugrim had been filled with mourning and loss and anger, of old wounds that still ached to be soothed by happier remembrances.

“They are the same people, but these are very different circumstances.” You turned back to the gathering and smiled at the scene they created, just a group of kinsmen sharing an evening repast, dining in little more than their underclothes and even less care or concern. "I very much prefer seeing them in this light."

Lindir sniffed at this but refrained from verbalizing further disagreement, as your fondness for Aulë’s Children had become all too apparent. 

After you declined the elf-lord’s offer to escort you back to the main house, he took his leave, with a parting reminder to 'be careful'. It was hard not to feel disappointed at your friend's unrelenting distrust of the Dwarves. Lindir was far older than you, and much wiser in all other matters, but in your heart you were certain his disdain was founded on hearsays and ancient prejudices. 

“Oi, Bombur! Maybe you should get off that table, I can hear the joints creaking from over here.” The shout, though spoken with jest, also carried a command behind it, a tone you often heard being used by members of your family. “If we break one more thing in this fancy-pants inn I think that butler’s head might explode.”

More than the Dwarf's tone, it was his voice itself that captured your attention, that spurred your steps forward so you crept closer for a better view. You scanned the gathering of bearded faces, one by one, but unless that voice spoke up again over the raucous din, it would be impossible to identify the owner with certainty. 

But you knew that voice. You knew not for sure from when or where, but you had heard it before, speaking to you, addressing you by name, stirring up emotions deep within you like the early rays of spring warming the frosted earth. 

The clear sound of cracking wood startled you, and yanked your gaze back to the sight of Bombur, the very fat dwarf, falling smack on his bottom and then toppling on his backside on a pile of broken oak. Your lips twitched and your eyes wrinkled at their sides, but it was the unbridled howls of laughter from the other dwarves that released your own laughter from your throat--a high, delighted giggle that was shamefully loud to your own ears. 

“Shh! Did you hear that?” A voice--the voice--cut sharply through the merriment. It lowered into a menacing growl, suddenly shifting to their ancient mother tongue. “There’s someone out there.” 

* * * * * 

Fili grabbed the knife closest to him, resting atop the pile of his belongings, and darted across the courtyard in the direction of the sound. Kili leaped up to follow his lead, and behind the brothers a mad scramble ensued as some of the others hurried to join in pursuit. 

It was easy to spot the intruder descending the pathwalk that connected their lodging to the sprawling gardens below. The tall, hooded figure had the nerve to walk calmly in their retreat, as though they cared not if they were caught or had no fear of being apprehended. The mark of an elf for sure, Fili thought, and a rush of anger within him hastened his pace. 

“You! Stop!” he shouted, and was so surprised when the stranger complied so quickly that he skidded to an abrupt halt himself. Kili ran hard into him, nearly knocking him over, and there was much grunting and yelping as the rest of the dwarves similarly struggled to keep themselves upright. 

“Who are you?” Fili demanded, raising himself up to full height and straight posture, but mindful enough to keep his knife sheathed at his side. This elf was nowhere near as tall as the riders who had accosted them at their arrival, or even the ones who had attended them at luncheon. Even if they didn’t have him outnumbered, the dwarf was confident he could take him down on his own if necessary. 

“I am a friend, Master Dwarf,” a soft voice spoke from underneath the hood. 

Next to him, Fili sensed Kili shifting his weight uneasily and heard him grunt, “Fili.” The elder Son of Durin at once knew his brother’s thoughts. That voice sounded female. This realization cooled his ire, but just barely. Danger did not recognize gender, he knew that from experience. 

 “A friend would not lurk in the shadows to spy,” Fili said darkly. “A friend would not retreat and skulk away like a thief in the night.”  He took a heavy step forward. “If you are what you say, then prove it and show your face."

A tense silence followed the dwarf-prince’s command. The collective disquiet palpable from the companions that surrounded him only fueled Fili’s irritation. Above all other emotions, he detested cowering the most. Durin’s Folk shrank before no one, no matter whose land they stood on.

At long last, a pair of slender white arms emerged from the folds of the stranger’s cloak, and two hands lowered the velvet hood. Cries and mutterings rose in a sudden tide around Fili, while his own voice failed him completely. It wasn’t until his lungs sucked in a starved, desperate gasp that he realized even breath had temporarily deserted him. 

None of their company, save perhaps Thorin and Balin, had had much contact with she-elves prior to the quest, but when they finally encountered some of these females at the Lord of Rivendell's table, they fairly matched up with the descriptions from the Dwarrowdam tales. This particular creature that stood before them now was unlike her unremarkable kin, and surpassed everything Fili’s elders had taught him to expect. 

It was her hair, above all else, that surely struck the Dwarves with greatest amazement. The color of the purest molten gold, it crowned her fair head and flowed freely down her shoulders, shimmering in waves of glorious light. It was such a sight to behold, so alarming in its unexpected beauty, that Fili dropped his gaze, momentarily doubting whether it was even safe to look upon it. 

Those standing closest to him literally bowed their heads in reverence. Ori and Dori went so far as to bend fully at the waist. Glorin choked on what sounded like a sob, while Kili found actual words to exclaim: "My lady!"

“My lords,” the elf-maid spoke again, high and clear as a wood thrush. “I humbly beg your pardon; I meant no offense by my presence.”

The sweetness that flowed from her polite words continued to charm his companions, but Fili refused to give in to the confusing swirl of emotions that crested within him, not even when her gaze turned at his utterance, again challenging his ability to breathe. “Why were you watching us?”

He felt a fist jab him on the back. “Nadad,” Kili hissed through gritted teeth. 

“It is a fair question,” Fili declared. He felt his boldness grow the longer he persisted. “Their king assured us we would be safe here, but how are we to trust that?” He turned slightly towards his kinsmen as their native Khuzdul rolled from his tongue. “Can you not see that ever since our arrival, they have been trying to uncover our secrets?!”

The only response he received were vague mumblings from dazed faces. Eyes glazed over in dopey trances seemed to pass right through him, listless and unseeing. An orc pack could have descended on them and hacked off some heads before anyone could mount a defense. 

“Stop gaping at her!” Fili snapped at them, tugging hard on his besotted brother’s arm in particular. “You’re falling prey to Elven sorcery for all we know. Don’t let yourselves be lured under her spell!”

“If I were as devious as you claim, Master Dwarf, then why should I admit to understanding your words perfectly?”

The maiden’s silvery voice speaking the guttural tones of their secret language in perfect fluency dropped upon the group like a hammer’s blow. Suddenly the lot of dreamy gazes morphed into expressions of shock, followed by anger. Even a little fear, which overtook any control the dwarves had over their better senses. 

Defensive instincts escalated to bellows of outrage, and hands rose in aggression, hands which unfortunately still clutched a menacing array of weapons. Brandishing his own dagger, Fili saw the elf-maid take a step back, and her withdrawal stirred a new emotion above the conflux in his chest: shame.  

“What is the meaning of this?!”

All heads turned in the direction of the booming shout, and they saw the Master of Imladris coming up the path in furious strides. The sight of him alone caused the dwarves to immediately lower their weapons, sheathe them, or hide them behind their backs. 

Lord Elrond cast a swift, rebuking glare over the gathered dwarves before planting himself between them and the elf-maid. He cupped her face between his hands and quietly spoke to her in indiscernible Elvish. She whispered back with downcast eyes, appearing to Fili almost like a child chastised. 

"She spies on us!" Gloin's temper erupted at the most convenient time, and Fili found himself relieved that someone else was speaking up to argue for their side.

"This is her home, Master Gloin," Elrond responded sharply. "Where you are the visitors. We practice great tolerance in Imladris to make allowances for cultural differences. But I will not abide the harassment of anyone, least of all my kin."

"Enough of this foolishness!" The next rebuke came from Gandalf, who suddenly materialized behind the elves, and looked twice as infuriated as Elrond. “It is one thing to practice table manners differently from the Eldar, but even Dwarves should know how to show a lady proper respect!” He pounded his staff on the ground, silencing any further attempts at protest from the dwarves. 

The wizard then turned and gave a sweeping bow to the elf-maid. "I beg your pardon and understanding on their behalf, dear lady, and offer no poor excuses.”

Fili was no longer surprised when the golden-haired lass smiled brightly at Gandalf, as one would at an old friend. "My heart sings with joy to see you again, Mithrandir."

The rest of their conversation continued in rapid Elvish, leaving the dwarves to cluster together and grumble and mutter in their own separate group. For his part, Fili did not have anything else to say, for he felt oddly weary. He did not even notice the elves had taken their leave until Thorin arrived, demanding explanations, and Gandalf rejoined them to resume the heated discussion about everything that had transpired.  

Fili broke away from the squabbling noise of the company to seek out the departing lord and lady. He spotted them leaving the path to go back up into one of the great houses on the other side of the roaring falls. From so far off he could still see the elf-maid’s golden hair gleaming, its ethereal glory undiminished in the evening shadows. Bitter regret bloomed in the pit of his stomach when she finally vanished from sight.

"I…I know her.”

Fili spun around and saw Bilbo standing a few paces away, staring thoughtfully into the darkness. How much the hobbit had seen of the entire episode, and how long he’d been lurking there, it was always hard to tell with their sneaky burglar. “What are you talking about?”

Bilbo scratched the side of his face, his nose scrunched up in his musing. “That elf-maid. I’m quite certain I’ve met her before. There cannot be many like her running around Middle-earth, and certainly not visiting the Shire."

“The Shire?!” Fili grabbed Bilbo’s arm and dragged him further away from the rest of the company, and out of the notice of his uncle and Gandalf. “Tell me,” he ordered the bewildered hobbit. “Tell me everything you know about her.”

To be continued...

Tagged by request: @aduialel @fizzyxcustard @lathalea @laneynoir @auttumnsayshi @achromaticerebus @friendofthefellowshipsnerdblog @blueberryrock @scyllas-revenge @glassgulls @ladyweaslette @heilith @absentmindeduniverse @laurfilijames

For more of my stories, please see My Masterlist.

If you would like to be added to my tag list, please sign up here: Tag List Sign-Up. If you'd like to be tagged specifically JUST for this Fili series ("The Only Gold"), please say so in comments or DM.

[hylianengineer]

For some reason I have abruptly returned to being insane about Cabaret. It's a musical about the rise of fascism and the tragedy that is pretending everything is fine until it's too late. It's also a heartwrenching doomed romance. It's unusually direct and neutral-to-positive about its depiction of sex work given how mainstream it is. It's about vice and desperation and fear and horrible, horrible coping mechanisms. It gets the audience invested in not one but two doomed romances AND a doomed friendship that are all about to be torn apart by the impending rise of Nazism. By the end of the play the majority of characters have had their lives torn apart by this one encroaching evil and we have to watch it happen. We have to watch them make all the bad decisions in which they might have been able to save themselves, but they didn't, because they were human and fallible. Because they didn't want to see what was happening around them, or take a risk, or they just couldn't quite bring themselves to believe that getting a happy ending was an option. We can see all the ways it might have gone differently.

I can't get over how incredible our university production of it was. I may be biased but I love it more than the Broadway version. For one thing, we had a nonbinary actor playing the Emcee, which meant that their romance with a Jewish woman came across as both Jewish and queer and like the biggest possible fuck you to the Nazis. But also, they were just such a good actor. The sad-and-terrified-but-forcing-themself-to-be-okay vibes in the final scene were so visceral and haunting. "Where are your troubles now? Forgotten? I told you so. We have no troubles here. Here, life is beautiful. The women are beautiful. Even the orchestra is beautiful." They sounded so broken in this scene. The juxtaposition between the words and the way they said them was like being punched in the gut. I wish I could tell them this but I do not even slightly know this person.

The depiction of the Nazis is also amazing because it shows them as people. Not in a "oh we should sympathize with them" way, but in a "oh fuck they could be ANYONE and you'd never know it" way. As Fräulein Schneider says, they are her friends and neighbors. She expects her friends and neighbors to support her when she decides to marry Herr Schultz, a Jewish man, but as it turns out, some of them are Nazis and make it very clear that if she doesn't break off the engagement, they'll turn on her.

We LIKE the Nazi character, right up until he takes off his coat and shows off the Swastika armband. We had no idea he was harboring such nastiness in his heart - he seemed nice! He was charming. He was kind. He was Clifford's and our introduction to Berlin, and he made a damn good first impression. He was very pleasant to Herr Schultz right up until the he realized he was a Jew, and it was chilling to watch that scene unfold. I remember sitting backstage every night and waiting to hear everyone go dead silent at the reveal. Chilling.

The other thing Caberet does so well is the "why should we care about politics? what does that have to do with us?" angle. Sally says it outright - she'd rather know nothing about what's happening, and even when confronted with it, she doesn't care. She doesn't understand why Cliff won't help Ernst anymore after finding out exactly what those smuggled goods were for - as far as she's concerned, they need the money and the politics are irrelevant. The politics being Nazism, of course. She has absolutely no malice towards the people the Nazis are hurting - she's just incredibly, horribly naive. Doesn't it just make your blood run cold?

It's extra creepy to watch this play in the political environment of the last year or so - the way things have been getting progressively more and more scary for queer people. There were definitely a few times when I read some particularly awful news coming out of Florida and felt very much like Cliff grappling with the horrible realization that he needed to get out of Berlin yesterday. And trying to explain that sheer terror to my straight relatives did feel reminiscent of Clint's failed attempts to make Sally see reason. But it didn't affect her directly, so she didn't care. She had her own life and her own priorities and why should she care about things that don't affect her? I hope things here and now never get that bad, but the exact reason it's so disturbing is that people in early-1930s Berlin never guessed it would get that bad either.

And this is a story based on true events. It's fictionalized, but it isn't made up. Cliff is more or less an author insert for the very real person who wrote the book the musical is based on: Goodbye to Berlin by Christopher Isherwood. And by the way, Christopher Isherwood was gay.

Tl;dr Go see Cabaret and have your heart broken in like fifteen different ways. But read the trigger warnings first.

[teleportzz]

Sorry if you don't want to answer this, but I don't know who else to ask. I understand that QPRs aren't just romance-lite, but then what are they? I'm aromantic, I have trouble understanding the differences between types of relationships and I'm really confused

nah, don't be sorry! i'm happy to help to the best of my knowledge.

i usually see qprs described as a grey zone between best friendship and dating, and i guess that's... kind of accurate? but it's also potentially unhelpful, especially for people like me who don't fully understand what dating is supposed to be like. i think it's a lot more tangible to describe qprs like this: platonic soulmates; someone you know better than anyone else; maybe you live together or you'd want to live together; forehead kisses; a deep, faithful partnership; maybe you'd want to adopt a kid together someday, and just platonically coparent them; a relationship domestic and blissful and yet genuine romance is never part of the equation. if you've ever had a REALLY close best friend and thought maybe you were developing a crush on them, and thought you were maybe wrong about being aro, before realizing you find repulsive the idea of doing romantic activities without a profound degree of platonic joy coating the whole experience, then maybe the thing you're really wanting is a qpr. it's very close to best friendship, but with intimate, committed partnership being a vital part of the dynamic.

or at least that's what it is to me. hopefully that's helpful (?)

[rmwb-fanfics]

Why do you not like Hermione? Ron and Hermione are each other’s soulmates

I don't love Hermione. Her superfans along with the movies radicalize me into saying that I hate her. Sometimes I really don't know.

I find her irritating. I don't like the way she treats Ron or Harry. I don't care for her interests. I don't find her funny or interesting.

I generally would say that the IDEA of her and Harry's friendship is fantastic because I am a guy who has a lot of friends that are girls and I know dozens of men who just don't get it and either assume I'm gay or am just waiting for their boyfriends to break up with them so I can swoop in.

Boys can be friends with girls. I like that about Hermione.

Except I don't like her and Harry's dynamic. Their friendship doesn't feel like it gains any emotional complexity until the sixth book, and by then I'm more invested in Ron and Harry's friendship, and Harry and Ginny's romance to give a damn.

Deathly Hallows rolls around and everyone is sort of at their worst. I honestly prefer her while Ron is gone because she isn't fucking talking. She's a fine secondary character but in contrast to Ron and Tonks and Sirius and Neville and Ginny and Snape and Dumbledore, I find her to just be... lacking. She doesn't go through much growth which, considering the fact that she's a JKR insert is mildly hilarious. I just wish we got more of Hermione... struggling. I know that sounds bad but we get quite a bit of it in the books and it just doesn't seem to affect her.

Summed up, I think she's boring.

Now, on to the whole Ron and Hermione being soulmates thing. I really don't mind Romione. Like, at all. I like them in canon, specifically their little moments and implied off-page interactions, but they aren't soulmates.

Which is what makes them interesting.

They aren't perfect. Their relationship has rough edges. Hermione's a very difficult person to deal with and throughout their relationship, through marriage, kids, and whatever else, they would always have different troubles to navigate. BIG ONES. They're the type of family where their kids would be like "My parents should've gotten divorced" but like, they're 12 and don't actually understand why their parents love each other, and then by 19-20 they'd be like nah I have good parents and they didn't just "Stay together for the kids" yk?

On the scale of traumatic and fucked up, Romione falls between the idealistic-low-drama-just-fun of Hinny and the real-life-shit-happens-what-the-fuck-she's-pregnant of Remadora. I wouldn't say they're soul mates but they make it work and they're happy to keep trying and keep working on it to improve themselves and their relationship yadda yadda yadda.

That being said: FUCK I feel bad for Ron because if I had to deal with Hermione every day I'd actually blow my fucking brains out oh my god.