#and about us

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

How do you define fandom distress?  To me its something that causes temporary anxiety over something that occurred acutely. For example Harry after the Grammys with the spinning stage (fans upset for Harry that his performance was unfairly affected) or his winning speech (fans fighting with general public who attacked him for misinterpreting his words) or the release of the kissing yacht pics (fans upset over stunt and further closeting).  However long the stress and anxiety lasted, whether it was one week like with the Grammys or 2 years like with Holivia, ultimately everyone knew there would be an end.

I wouldn't say bg is just fandom anxiety masquerading as outrage. What happened to Louis and Freddie is something that justifies outrage. Its something that will exist for or have lasting effects for the entirety of both their lives. If we're in agreement he's not the biological father, unless this is all just a cover for him chosing to have a baby via surrogacy, then fatherhood was forced upon him.  And now Freddie, who didn't ask for any of this,  will have to go through life having to reconcile Louis being in his life.  I'm not saying fans should continue to be outraged over what happened, choosing to accept that Louis is presenting as a father I think is best for everyone. But saying that this whole thing is just fandom distress and Louis is now a "cool person" in Freddies life is minimizing whats happened. And if I'm being honest, it's straight up gaslighting.

I define fan distress relatively straight forwardly - it's when something happens that disrupts a fan's experience in a way that causes distress. It can happen for all sorts of reasons - but I think mostly it's either about not meeting expectations (I would say the Grammys was an example of that) or something happening which challenges the story someone is telling.

But not everything that happens that doesn't meet expectations or disrupts a story causes us distress. Distress is a result of that disruption touching something that has meaning to the fan or important to the fan (often related to anxiety, but not always). I have an anon about the Grammys that is very honest about their feelings of distress and you'll see what I mean when I finally get round to answering it. Anyway the important point is that fan distress is ultimately about us as fans, far more than it is about the person they are talking about.

A couple of things I disagree with your framing about. The first is that a feature of fandom distress is that everyone knows it's going to end. First of all we don't know the future. Holivia might not have ended - we might have been wrong and they might have got married or had children. But also, I don't think the length of time that something might happen is at all relevant to fandom distress. Fandom distress is when something triggers distress in a fan - it doesn't matter how long it lasts for.

You also seem to think that distress and outrage are two different things. But one of the core dynamic of fandom is that it gives people a way to avoid sitting with their distress. Rather than experiencing feelings brought up by fandom, people distance themselves, by pretending that rather than having an individual reaction about how this touches on their life, they are being outraged by something that is objectively wrong.

Your second paragraph is basically a text book example of this anon. Particularly the way that you jump to a very narrow option 'this was forced on Louis' and use that leap to present your feelings as objective rather than personal.

I really want to push back about your use of the term gaslighting (in general I hate its over use and the way that has ended up blunting what was a useful tool to describe emotional abuse). I didn't say that Louis was a cool person in Freddie's life - I said that I hoped that Louis was a cool person in Freddie's life. But even if I had said that - it would just be a difference of opinion - people are going to disagree with you about celebrities.

And celebrities do lie about their life, they're totally entitled to lie about their lives and they don't owe you the truth. (They're also obviously allowed to continue to live a life that fans think isn't true - either could be going on here). The idea that gaslighting could be involved here is based on the idea that you are owed the truth - and you are not.

It's not minimising anything to call something fandom distress. Fandom distress is the reason any of this matters to people. And ultimately it doesn't matter to people because of Louis or because of Freddie, because of us and our feelings.

[necromimetics]

can’t stop thinking about my friend’s cishet partner who said last night that he doesn’t think anyone is the same gender. god-tier take.

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[sylvies-kablooie]

i do unironically think the best artists of our generation are posting to get 20 notes and 3 reblogs btw. that fanfic with like 45 kudos is some of the best stuff ever written. those OCs you carry around have some of the richest backstories and worldbuilding someone has ever seen. please do not think that reaching only a few people when you post means your art isn't worth celebrating.

[normal-thoughts-official]

Please stop seeing politics as an identity and start seeing it as a collective means for change

[lazylittledragon]

can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024

[dirtytransmasc]

the men and boys are innocent too.

we cry "the innocent women and children" to appeal to the masses, to try and force their sympathy, but the men and boys are innocent too.

I have seen sons crying out for their mothers, their fathers, their siblings. I have seen them break down at the loss of their families. I have seen them cling to their dead and grieve.

I have seen fathers cradle their dead children, seen them kiss their faces and hold their little hands. I have seen them faint with grief when asked to identify the dead. I have seen them carry their sons and daughters. I have seen them fasting to provide what little they can for their families.

I have seen men and boys digging through the rubble with just their bare hands, I have seen them comforting strangers, playing with children, rocking them, hushing them, even if the face of such imminent danger. I have seen them cry, seen them grieve, seen them break down into each other's arms, seen them be selfless, beyond selfless, becoming something I don't have a word for.

I have seen the men who are doctors refuse to leave their patients, even when they have no medicine or supplies to give them, even when they're threatened with bombings. I have seen fathers who have lost all their children pick orphans up into their arms and proclaim them their child so they are not alone. I have seen men and boys digging pets out of the rubble.

the men are innocent too. the men and boys are being hurt and killed too. the men and boys are grieving too. the men and boys are scared too. the men and boys are fighting to save their people too. the men and boys deserve to be fought for too.

[inkskinned]

i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".

it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.

do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.

but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.

do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).

you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.

walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.

no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.

do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."

you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.

there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.

i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.

he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."

[marisatomay]

Bit telling that for years and years evangelical religious extremists have been allowed on university campuses with their bullhorns and horrific imagery where they harass students into physical altercations and when students complain to the university’s administration they just shrug their shoulders citing freedom of speech but when those same tuition-paying students start protesting against war and genocide they call SWAT

[xgoldenlatiasx]

I’m really glad that Aaron’s self-immolation for Palestine is getting attention, but on November 8th there was also a Congolese man who did the same thing for the genocide happening in the DRC. From what I read in the article above, his fate and identity are unknown but I think his story should be getting equal amount of traction and I haven’t really seen anyone talking about it on Tumblr specifically yet.

[arimiadev]

oh shit rpg maker xp is completely free to own this week on steam??

[ink-the-artist]

Love the contrast between the Americans’ “Apollo” and the Soviets’ “Sputnik.” You got the Americans naming their rocket after a Greek god trying to communicate the grandness and importance of this rocket. And you got the Soviets naming their rocket “fellow traveler.” Like a friend you go on an  adventure with together. This rocket is our little friend lol 

[violent138]

Starting to think a cooler headcanon for Clark’s upbringing might just be that the entire town of Smallville collectively decided to just go with it and accept that Martha and John's kid has superpowers, but we don't talk about it.

Someone's tractor gets stuck and nothing can get it out? "Be a dear and run down to the Kents, would you? Ask for Clark?"

"Why Clark, we need a machine--"

"Run along now."

Or if he kicks too hard and the football vanishes into the upper stratosphere, no it didn't, we all collectively saw it land over there *vague hand movements*

[redvelvetwishtree]

[ibtisams]

A report just came out from a Palestinian hostage saying he was strapped with bombs and sent into a Hamas tunnel, with Israel prepared to blow the tunnel up with his body if fighters were found inside and yet people are still making the “Hamas uses human shields” arguments that have been confirmed to be a myth with no supporting evidence

[captainjonnitkessler]

You know I used to think "tumblr's absolute refusal to actually engage with the Trolley Problem in favor of insisting that there must be a third, morally pure option that doesn't require them to make a hard decision and anyone who asks them to make a binary choice is just a short-sighted idiot is really fucking annoying, but I guess it's not actually doing any harm".

Anyway that was before we asked tumblr at large to decide between "guy aiding a genocide but making progress elsewhere" and "guy who would actively and enthusiastically participate in a genocide and would also make everything else much, much worse for everyone elsewhere" and the response was that there must be a third, morally pure option that doesn't require them to make a hard decision and that anyone who asks them to make a binary choice is a short-sighted idiot.