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genshinfanboy · 1 year

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His Magic PT2

|Hello everyone. This will be part two of my witch and familar au. The descriptions will be the same. This will be an au that involves witches and familiars. Modern technology does exist but is ran by magic instead of electricity. If you want more from this au feel free to send in an ask for hcs with certain characters or for me to write for a character in this au, or just more information in general. As I always say feel free to change the pronouns to match your own. I hope you enjoy and have a lovely day or or night.

His magic pt1

Scenario: In a world of magic there are witches beings with the ability to possess magic. Witches tend to have a familiar a life long companion who is there to help and protect them. Familiars have two forms a human form and an animal form. They have a soulmate connection with the witch they are supposed to be with. When a familiar pact is formed with a witch the familiar, if the witch is their destined one the familiar will be able to feel the witches heart beat.

Alhaitham x A Gender Neutral reader.

Warnings: It's long, minor characters story spoilers, and minor archon story quest spoilers.|

Alhaitham:

Alhaitham was a witch that tended to do the bare minimum for most things. He was a scribe for the Akademiya constantly logging important spells, potions and reports for mages as well as doing things for the academic side. When he wasn't doing his work as the scribe he be reading or doing nothing but relaxing. That was if his roommate wasn't causing a lot of ruckus.

He had avoided making a pact with a familiar. He didn't find it necessary at this point in time. His magic was perfectly contained within his own body for the time being. Kaveh would claim otherwise but the scribe felt he was just projecting onto him.

Alhaitham is aware he will eventually have to get a familiar but he wanted to prolong it as long as he could. He was walking through the streets of Sumeru and saw a familiar head of blond hair. He was about to walk the opposite direction but he saw someone with the blond. He walked over to make sure he wasn't getting scammed.

"Kaveh you need to look for a familiar. Why are you so hesitant?" The person asked. Alhaitham raised a brow slightly when he heard the person talking with his roommate. He stayed slightly away to listen his interest was piqued slightly. The blond shook his head. He looked at the two they seemed familiar enough with one another. Which lead the scribe to become less worried. He pulled out his key to start heading home but he noticed a key with a lion Keychain haning off it.

He sighed. He might as well return it to Kaveh while he was there. "It's not that simple (Name). Familiars have soulmates and I don't wish to burden someone else like that. Plus I'm unsure of the magic transfer will go smoothly a lot can go wrong during the pact." Kaveh started going on and on about it. Alhaitham walked over and held out the key.

"Why not make one with me then? We are cousins and I'm not pressed on finding my soulmate. I also think you're overthinking the familiar pact. It's very rare for things to go wrong. Even with your long standing bad luck Kaveh." (Name) said before looking at Alhaitham surprised.

"It seems your key got hooked with mine again because you didn't take it with you when you left." He stated matter of factly. He noticed the person with (eye color) eyes looking at him with a raised brow. He now knew they were Kaveh's cousin and apparently a familiar. They seemed interested in him for some reason which he didn't seem to care much for.

"So you're the infamous Alhaitham I hear my dear Kaveh mention all the time. Putting a face to a name makes me realize we have corssed paths before but never spoken. Its a pleasure to meet you I'm (Name)." They said in a bit of a teasing tone. They watched as their cousin snatched his key and gave them a glare for calling him dear.

"Do not get involved with him. It's more trouble than it's worth. Just because you were both in the same Darshan in the akademiya means nothing. Also what have I told you about calling me that it's embarrassing (Name)." Kaveh said in an embarrassed manner. His cheeks had become slightly pink. He pressed a hand to his face still holding his key.

"I had no clue I was infamous but whatever is going on I'd prefer not to be involved. I don't ever recall meeting you either." Alhaitham responded by crossing his arms. He did have to admit Kaveh's cousin was attractive. He was also interested to find out they had also studied in Haravatat. They simply gave him a smile.

"We were in one class together but you never showed up other than to take any exams. Though I'd like to ask your opinion on something. As my dear cousin is being stubborn." They said patting his shoulder. They definitely seemed more mild mannered than Kaveh he supposed it wouldn't hurt to hear them out at least. Though it doesn't really benefit him very much.

"What is in it for me if I agree to hear you out? This will be taking up more of my free time than it already has dropping off his key." Alhaitham asked. The other crossed their arms and gave another smile. "How about naming your price? I'll comply so long as it's within reason and a fair exchange." They said before a putting a hand over his roommate's mouth so he can't interject.

Muffled yells were heard from the blond. Kaveh seem to given up on fighting to get out. Alhaitham summarized they had fought before and know which one is stronger. He decided to think on their response. "How about getting me a new book that came out recently by an author I enjoy? Their pen name is snow" He answered.

Alhaitham watched as kaveh's eyes went wide and he started shaking his head as to object. "That's quite easy. I know them if you also want a signed copy." They said. He looked surprised for a moment but then nodding to the agreement. "So Kaveh's magic had been getting too much for him to stand as I'm sure you're aware. I offered to make a temporary familiar pact with him but he's refusing. I care a lot about my Dear Kaveh but he's too focused on things going poorly." They explained.

Alhaitham started thinking about everything. It would mean they'd temporarily move in with them or Kaveh moves with them for a bit. "How will the living arrangements end up in this situation? Also I can make a temporary pact with you to show Kaveh there isn't much to worry about in terms of the pact. Although I must admit it would be best for his personal well being to make the pact with your cousin until you find another familiar." He gave his thoughts.

(Name) finally released Kaveh and stepped away. "If we did agree to this which I do not they'd probably be moving in with us temporarily. They don't have a set place of residence because (Name) is always traveling around. Also I absolutely do not agree on them dealing with a pact with you Alhaitham. Especially considering the fact you can't just break it off immediately. The pact would last for a week to prevent you from harming them. Not that I'd expect you to be aware of these things because you've never needed one before." He quickly exclaimed before crossing his arms.

(Name) gave a sigh. "You're so stubborn Kaveh. Your friend Tighnari was the one who contacted me because he was worried about your health." They said leaning on their cousin. Alhaitham watched the two. "Well I was aware of the fact it can't be broken immediately but I also think it would be beneficial for you. You've been looking a little rough around the edges Kaveh. So they will be staying with us for a bit meaning they'll need to pay rent as well." Alhaitham responded as though his answers were simple.

Kaveh looked at them both with wide eyes. He couldnt argue with the logic they both presented. It was frustrating for him but he had to relent. "I'll be happy to help pay rent." They said pulling out the new book they wrote. It was already signed as they were planning on giving it to someone else. "I'll transform to my familar form for the pact." They handed Alhaitham the book before transforming into a snow leopard.

Alhaitham was surprised they already had the book on them. He started to wonder if they were snow. He was surprised at their form due to the climate of Sumeru. "We should probably do this at home rather than the middle of the city streets." He stated.

Kaveh nodded in agreement. "You head home first and will be there in a bit. I still dont want people knowing we live together." He said finally resigning. He'd have no chance of winning an argument against the two.

Later in the evening when they all arrived at the shared living space Alhaitham casted the familiar pact spell. He watch kaveh let out a sigh of relief when it was done. He was also surprised at how much lighter his body felt after casting it. He looked at (Name) and saw their eyes widened.

"Well that's unexpected." They muttered. Before Kaveh rushed over he smushed their fave a bit to check if anything happened. "Are you ok? What happened?!?!" He asked worried. Alhaitham also seemed a bit concerned as he was positive he cast the spell perfectly. "What's unexpected?" The silver haired man asked pulling Kaveh off of them.

"It's nothing don't worry about it. That was probably the most perfect casting of the spell I've ever seen is all." (Name) lied. Kaveh seemed to have caught onto the lie but didn't mention it. He frowned but knew it was pointless to press anymore.

They couldn't believe they found their soulmate unintentionally. (Name) didn't want to give their cousin a heart attack mentioning this fact so they'd keep it to themself for a while. It would also cause him to refuse to make a pact with him.

The week went by very quickly for the three. Alhaitham and (Name) had grown used to each other's presences. He had become more hesitant to willingly break the pact. The two complimented the other. Alhaitham enjoyed the moments they spent together. They would read in a comfortable silence. He also started wondering how he gone so long without a familiar. (Name) also seemed to be hiding something from him and he was super interested in finding out what.

He never expected to find our becuse of conversation with Kaveh in the living room. "So out with it what are you hiding? It's been clear something is up since you made that pact with Alhaitham. I helped raise you at a certain point (Name) I know you lied and I didn't want to press for a bit but now it's affecting you." He said with his hands on his hips.

They crossed their arms and looked away from him. "You're not going to like the answer." They stated listening to Alhaitham's always calm and soothing heart beat. Kaveh seemed to piece things together very quickly. "You can't be serious. I knew I should have never agreed to you making a pact with him." His eyes were wide. Alhaitham listened to the two confused.

His heart picked up pace a bit as he started thinking of the possibilities. The thought he might be the other's soulmate seemed like the nicest possibility though they hadn't known each other for that long. He enjoyed their presence. Unknown to him however they perked up and looked around when his heartbeat grew faster.

"You can't be his soulmate! You with him that's unacceptable" Kaveh stammered. They were still preoccupied with looking for Alhaitham because his heart was racing now. It made them worry a bit. He should be home. Which made (Name) start checking all the main areas. Which earned them a look from Kaveh. "Like it or not it's true. We can't really change things. Also he doesn't treat me poorly or anything so I can't complain." They said approaching the study.

Alhaitham couldn't believe what he had just heard. He was shocked to say the least. He'd known them for a week yet he was thinking this irrationally. His heart was racing and he closed his eyes trying to ignore what just occurred. He heard footsteps approaching the study.

When he opened his eyes he saw (Name) and Kaveh in front of him. Their head tilted slightly. "Are you alright Alhaitham?" They asked with a concerned look. Their whole focus was on him rather than their cousin who also seemed worried.

The scribe raised a brow. "I'm unsure why you're asking but I am perfectly fine." He said staring at the other. They didn't seem to believe him. Kaveh looked confused as well. "Did you hit your head or something (Name)? Alhaitham looks as he always does." Their cousin asked.

"I'm perfectly fine. You're both witches so you'll have no clue about how we know our soulmate." They said crossing their arms. It was clear they had no intention of explain it. They looked at the scribe again as his heart rate picked up. "You were listening to our conversation weren't you?" They said with a small laugh. They quickly pieced together his heart sped up at them mentioning being soulmates.

Alhaitham looked surprised for a moment. "So how did you know?" He asked watching his roommate look at them shocked. "Telling you would be revealing a secret. Plus I'm sure the great scribe is able to do his research and make the discovery. Anyways I have a suggestion regarding our situation." They answered with a bit of amusement in their eyes.

"Alhaitham doesn't really have much excess magic overflow. My familiar form is able to withstand a lot more. Depending on a how big a familiar is in their animal form is how much magic they can hold. For me I can probably make a temporary familiar pact with Kaveh and keep my pact with Alhaitham." (Name) explain with a smile. Their logic was sound which made it hard for the two to argue. The three would see how this arrangement would work.

#genshin impact #taylor writes #genshin x reader #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham x gender neutral reader #genshin x gender neutral reader #genshin x gn reader

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sersi · 2 years

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hello elysia, i just wanted to say, as someone else who weathered the post-endgame anti-steve clown circus (which has continued far longer than it should've but lemme not rant) and suffered psychic damage from the worst takes possible, i am SO thankful for the steve content you've provided. like i'm not that into steggy but the care you put into your sets is so amazing and you illustrate the importance of their relationship in a way that fandom seems to either not get or willfully misunderstand. thank you so much for all you do and i hope you have an amazing rest of your day/night <3

Hiiiiiiiiii 🙋🏽‍♀️. This is honestly one of the nicest, most mentally rewarding asks I've ever gotten. And it is also got stuck/forgotten in my inbox because I was like “Oh I don’t have time to answer this properly right now”, mentally filed it as a Thing to Do Later, and then didn’t look at my inbox for a week.

So, that said, I’ve been stanning Steve for a literal decade and have been Through It™ multiple times because of him. Civil War era had me eagerly awaiting the day I would follow Chris out of the MCU and while that obviously didn’t happen, having already spent most of 2015 - 2018 engaging in increasingly aggressive curation of my online fandom experience really impacted my post-Endgame experience. It’s why I wasted no time in blacklisting aggressively. And why I was kind of already primed to communicate my love for Steve and his arc and some of the characters around him through gifset. I’ve seen so many wonky characterizations of Steve and his arc over the years that, rather than writing 1000 words about why I like some aspect of Steve’s arc only get told that something that definitely happened in canon didn’t actually happen, I prefer to have my visual Here It Is Happening In Canon references right there, in 268px or 540px widths.

I obviously don’t expect everyone to agree with or like my readings of canon--our taste in media is deeply personal and I absolutely get why Steve’s Endgame ending was never going to work for some people. But Steve is my favorite character EVER. I have thought about that man so much, for so long. I have, at one point or another, shipped almost all his popular ships. As a multishipper, I even have slightly different, not always fully compatible, readings of canon for my different Steve ships. So, one of the things that really bugged me back during peak Endgame discourse (and inspired/drove more than a few gifsets) was this notion that none of this had been set up in canon or that no one who liked the ending understood Steve’s character or his arc. Thankfully things have calmed down a ton since then, but, both with Steve and with my Other Faves, I still tend to put a ton of thought into how best to communicate the ideas behind my sets because, while impossible to fully control for, it is always my hope that my intentions (and love involved in the making of these sets) will be clear enough to break through whatever more fandom popular preconceptions people might have 🤷🏽‍♀️.

#and at a bare minimum i hope that the love involved will be apparent enough that people will realize they should Angry Yell in a new post #elysia's inbox

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witch-hazels-musings · 2 years

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hi darling~

It’s been awhile since I last been here and I’m sorry if I made you worried. It’s been 4 months since I was at home for the last time. I still can’t believe that we thought that we were leaving for a week or two just in case something happens lol.

A lot of things happened in these months. I finished my second year of university (it was cringe), got involved in farming against my will, almost lost an eye in a fight with a tree branch while picking strawberries and also apparently I have dropped out of my french class so I’m looking forward to take Italian instead. (I still don’t know where should I put commas, I’ve been studying English for 15 years now btw maybe I don’t need to be allowed to speak at all)

It may sound kinda depressing but I still can’t believe this is happening. I grew up in a big city so now living in a small village where the main attraction is a supermarket feels weird. It feels… empty to be here. Both physically and mentally. People I knew are all in different parts of the country now, or even in different countries. I really want to believe that one day everything could be the same again as it was 4 months ago, but I’m afraid this is not the case. Don’t attack other countries kids, it’s bad for your health.

As I noticed just now, you celebrated your anniversary here some time ago. It was very surprising to me to see myself a recognised part of this wonderful community you created lololol. I’m also glad to hear that I can make you smile with my messages, I think it’s the bare minimum I have to do as a thank you for your hard work. It’s amazing to see how many different people you united with your love to Diluc hehe💕💕💕

I hope you are doing well and healthy. Who knows if you were drinking water and taking care of yourself while I wasn’t watching 😠😠😠 I wanted to come up with a Genshin related question but now I want to know what was the funniest thing that happened to you during summer. Because summer is meant to be fun, especially pride month lol.

Please take care and know you are loved 💕💕💕

— mirror 🏳️‍🌈🇺🇦

MIRROR!! HELLOOO - I'm so glad to hear from you ♥️

Congrats on finishing your second semester 🪅🪅 it's awesome you're still finding ways to keep progressing even with the unbelievable going on around you every day.

I can't imagine the strangeness, the unsettling and the wrong that you feel. I hear about things and I hope you are safe. Even if farming isn't what you wanted (and apparently dangerous 😭) I hope it gives you something to busy yourself with enough to let your brain take a break from it all - though I know that's impossible to do

I did celebrate my anniversary! It was wild and of course I would shout you out heheh, you're part of the team! As for me I'm doing well (it's been busy and a bit stressful but nothing I can't handle ᕙ (° ~ ° ~))

Ummm, as for my summer, it's been alright! I haven't done much fun fun things, but I've been working on my journalling again and that has brought me a lot of grounding ✨

Wishing you well mirror, be safe, stay together, sending lots of love ❤️❤️

#hazelmail #mirror anon #tw ukraine #cw ukraine #tw war #i hope you can go back to something stable #i hate whats happened #this is not normal #🫂🫂#sending love

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prose-for-hire · 4 years

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Clueless

Pairing: Angel x reader

Request: As I said, Spike will always be my favorite, but every now and then you gotta mix it up. 😅 So here comes my Angel request! 😀 The scoobies find out he has a human girlfriend. And when they meet you they get the impression that you have no idea of the supernatural. So they try to subtly prod if you're aware of what Angel is. You on the other hand are enjoying to play with them. Pretending to be clueless as hell even though you're well aware. 😂 Thank you Darling! 💞

Requested by: @kind-wolf

A/N: I really enjoyed this one !! Reader is older than the Scoobies and works in the school library. The timescale is reaaally made up. Giles left to open the Magic Box while the Scoobies are still in high school.

[Also i know the gif has nothing to do with anything but it makes me giggle every time so I had to use it !!]

You were the new School librarian. Giles had left to open the Magic Box but still always managed to be in your library when you turned around. The excuse at the moment was that his personal collection had been left behind, but you new there was something more going on. You had a boyfriend that told you of the real side of Sunnydale.

His name was Angel. You had met him after dark, a shining ember amongst all of the despair. He was kind to you and you had kept running into each other until he decided it must be fate. So he asked you on a date. It was the Bronze and you both stuck out like a sore thumb – him for his dark clothing and because you were both slightly older than the regular clientele. You and Angel had been going steady for a while now. He was heavy into courting and doing everything properly. He wanted to keep you happy and ensure you felt safe with him at all times.

He called you his sunshine. You were the one thing that made his un-life worth living. The brightness in the centuries of black. The fiery flame of passion that could never be put out. You were his light. A kind of salvation he didn’t know he needed. All of his guilt. The doubt. The brooding about whether he was enough for you, for the world. For any of it. You filled in these cracks with light. With love and the most important thing: hope.

He knew that he needed to limit the amount of people that knew about you together to a minimum. You hadn’t understood why at first, but one evening when you had been wrapped around each other in bed, he confided in you. His relationships were not destined to last. Literally. He told you everything, almost reducing the both of you to an emotional mess. You laid there, underneath the sheets as you both recounted the worst moments of your lives. The secrets, the fears. Everything.

“Are you embarrassed about dating a human? Is it frowned upon in vampire… culture?” You asked, half embarrassed and half fascinated. He shook his head as you were still speaking, clasping a hand to yours and brought it to his unbeating heart.

“I, uh, just want this for us. You’re too special to me, y/n. I don’t want anyone else to ruin it. I love you more than you can imagine”

“You love me?” You ask, eyes shining with emotion. He nodded, pulling you into him as you told him how much you loved him back. Your voice muffled as you rested in the crook of his neck. He held you to him so delicately as if he was scared that you would break. That if he didn’t hold tight enough, you would disappear into nothing.

The Scoobies had caught glimpses of you around school and sometimes after school when you popped into the magic Box to ask to speak with Giles. Just to ask for tips on your new job in the library (and to check if he had stolen any of the dusty occult books you had started to lock away in case he was snooping again). You didn’t really know the Scoobies, you just recognised their faces from around school and now obviously you had heard the lowdown from Angel. But you weren’t so familiar that you could tell which one the slayer was if you were asked to pick her out of a line up.

One afternoon after you called your goodbyes to Giles and nodded at the teenagers on your way out of the store, talk quickly turned to you. Anya, Xander, Willow, Buffy and Cordelia were all whispering before the door had even closed properly behind you. The Scoobies loved to gossip. And each of them had their own titbit of information that they had heard from someone who had heard from someone else about you. Even Giles had become involved in the discussion as he had started to become aware you were making his life difficult and

“I heard they mastered kung-fu judo which is the most lethal form of martial arts”

“Apparently they were fired from their last school for literally throwing students out for talking too loud in the library”

“Well, they’re apparently an undercover agent planted by the CIA to monitor the supernatural”

“I heard that one – but they’re FBI, not CIA”

The piece of information they found most interesting was that you were human. Despite being the coolest librarian like, ever. Most of the librarians the student body had come across were positively fossils, most recent librarians not included. Suspected kung fu martial arts hybrid training aside, you didn’t have any supernatural powers to speak of. As far as anyone was aware. So, this became the most interesting thing about you, until Cordelia told all.

“They’re totally sleeping with Angel!” Cordelia said, as everyone looked extremely interested in this news, “I saw him open a door for them as if they were in some period drama! Way over the top but their eyes said everything! They’re having sex”

“You can’t tell that from a look”

“You can!” Anya insisted as Cordelia nodded along.

“Yeah, I can tell from hot librarian and the salty goodness that is Angel” Cordelia replied matter-of-factly.

“Do you think they know he’s-” Xander mimed fangs and held his hands up to imitate a vampire, “They can’t know. Why would anyone want to do that with Angel?” Xander insisted as the women of the room, and Giles, stayed silent. He looked around looking for some support for his statement but got nothing.

But now the fact was, they were concerned that Angel hadn’t told you about himself. The vampirism. The soul. The curse. So, the meddling kids decided it was their duty to make sure that they were acquainted with you and made sure you knew who Angel really was. Which was exactly what Angel presumed was going to happen. They were convinced that they were worried about how clueless you obviously were, but also it was their duty is seemed to get involved in other people’s personal lives.

This had been the plan, but it appeared that you were a very busy. You never stayed long hours after the school day ended like Giles used to. Nobody could follow you home because you always sped off in a shiny car. Plus, you often wore headphones in the corridors so you didn’t have to talk to the students.

It had been a while after their plans to befriend you and they had almost given up seeing you in your private time. They wanted to make sure the rumours weren’t true. That Angel wasn’t taking advantage of some clueless human.

Unfortunately, the whole gang stumble into you both while they’re on patrol. On date night. their eyes widen, it looks so normal. You’re both sat in the restaurant in the window seat and they all just stopped and very obviously stared. As if you were zoo animals. They noticed that Angel had ordered human food and had been moving it around the plate a little for appearances. This confirmed it. they decided they needed to save you. Who knew what horrible bad luck would befall you if you kept dating a vampire.

Angel looked a little embarrassed when he sensed being watched and looked up to see none other than the people he had wanted to keep this from. Buffy had scowled at him, shaking her head. She wasn’t impressed that he would do this. Especially if you didn’t know – it wasn’t fair she decided. You noticed his look but didn’t comment until the group had walked past with their wooden stakes badly concealed under their jackets.

After your meal, you walk back together (he always insists on walking you to your car) and you softly ask why he was embarrassed. You wondered if it was because you were a librarian. You tell him you know people don’t think it’s a great job, but you really enjoy it.

“They just don’t think us being together is a great idea” He said and you nodded along. You understood. There was a history there. The Slayer obviously is the only one that makes and breaks the rules.

“Well lets introduce them to me properly?” You offer, trying to soothe him. Reduce the fretting. He had wanted just one thing. One good thing that was yours and his. “I know they’ve been trying to talk to me all week. I’ll make some lemonade and you can invite them over” You offer. He nodded, curling an arm around you as you walk together both in thought.

It had been a week and the day was finally here. You were meeting the... friends? Weird kind-of family? Annoying brats that were always under both of your feet?

Angel had gone out to pick up some blood from the butchers before it closed now that the sun was down. This left you hosting solo for the moment. You showed them to Angel’s living room and started to offer them lemonade and snacks. They start dropping hints instantly to try and gauge whether you know about Slayers or vampires. For some reason, you decide to play dumb.

“Have you, uh, ever seen Angel’s teeth up close?” Willow asked, barely above a whisper.

“Yes, we do kiss if that’s what you’re asking sweetie. Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll have your first kiss soon” You smiled at her mock-sympathetically as you turned to the rest of the room.

“What about, ah, those specialist books I told you about, y/n? Have you read them as of late?” Giles questioned, his hint much craftier than the younger members of the group. The books had been vampire history and very specifically passages were highlighted about Angels past.

“Oh yes, Angel said he would give me the overview - he’s read them before” You smile as Giles shook his head and started to clean his glasses. This wasn’t a lie, Angel had told you instead of reading through that book he would tell you anything that yo uwanted to ask. Every gruesome detail if that was what you needed. But you had told him you cared for the person you knew now instead. “Isn’t he just the perfect man?” You continue, smiling dreamily (which if you’re honest isn’t even an act).

“Man isn’t the word I’d use” Xander muttered and Buffy had to elbow him to make him be quiet. You frowned, but they didn’t realise that you had caught onto what they were doing. Angel entered and the room quietened. He nodded at everyone but came straight to sit beside you.

You sat comfortably, leaning against Angel as chatter started to warm up a little again. After a while, there was a bit of doubt from some in the room whether meddling was the right thing to do or not. You appeared friendly and you definitely cared about Angel. And he definitely cared for you. His eye was always on you and he had kissed your forehead more than once when he thought the others were wrapped up in conversation.

“Do you like Halloween? What about vam-” Cordelia was cut off as she yelped and scowled as someone had stepped on her toes to get her to be quiet. Especially after he had already said something himself that could have made things obvious. You and Angel shared a look and then a shrug as conversation started up again.

You excused yourself to make more lemonade after three more not-so-subtle-hints about your man’s true identity and Angel followed you. Meanwhile, they were whispering about how clueless you appeared and how familiar you both were in front of them – as if you were going to hide that you were in a committed relationship. You knew this as Angel was telling you everything that they said, between light kisses he was pressing against your neck. From your position pressed between his body and the kitchen counter you were grinning as you rested a hand against his side and used the other to lock your hand with his. He hummed softly, only able to get through this strange indirect interrogation was that he knew he always had you.

When you returned and offered everyone refills, one of them asked while you were pouring, “Does, uh, Angel like garlic bread?”

“You might have to ask him on that one, we’re still getting to know each other” you smile sweetly before catching Angel’s eye. He raised his eyes at you but didn’t say anything to ruin the fun. In fact, he had a glint in his eye too. This was the reason he loved you, you turned even a potentially serious situation with the Slayer into something that you could make fun.

“Uh, have you ever seen Angel in the light?” the questioning continued.

“Have you seen his face? He’s beautiful in any lighting” You smiled sweetly, looking over at him again. He shook his head at you and you knew he’d be blushing if he had any circulation.

“Yeah but- in the daylight?”

“No, he has a sun allergy, isn’t that right sweetie?” You smiled around the room at their horrified faces. They knew it! They knew Angel had been lying, they just needed to find a way to break the news to you. Or warn him away from you.

When asked about his (and your) sleeping habits, you replied, “Some nights he’s dead to the world” You smile, “He sleeps really deep, sometimes I have to check on him – it looks like he isn’t breathing” You have to stifle a laugh at this one as Angel snorts out loud. It was awkwardly covered by a cough and he had to leave the room to hide his laughter.

He was happy with you, the only sunshine he wasn’t allergic to apparently. He was so happy in this relationship he was often worried that Angelus was only around the corner. You caught him stuck in his head, worrying about the what-ifs but you always offered your comfort any way you could. He was glad of you being there for him. Willow and Giles had been talking of working on a way to lift the curse, or at least make it so that it wasn’t so simple for him to change back into Angelus. That was the last thing any of them needed.

The evening started to darken further and conversation had started to lull. You were trying to think of a way to politely hint yourself that maybe it was time for them to go (your hints a lot more subtle and well-practiced than theirs). But before you had chance to open your mouth, you were interrupted, “Demons. Thoughts?” Anya asked bluntly. Nobody cut in this time, they wanted to hear your response now they suspected Angel was lying.

“The ones that creep in late at night when you’re trying to sleep? I try and just ignore them, or get a book to read if I really can’t sleep” You say smiling as you knew Angel had heard that one too when some plates clattered in the other room. You knew him inside out and, although rare, when something like this tickled him it really made him smile. You just wished he had been in the room so you could see his expression. His face lightened when he smiled and you told him all the time his smile was your favourite feature of his. He would also probably be shaking his head at you, trying to discourage you from getting into too much trouble with them.

Angel returned to the room and you couldn’t help yourself. You stood up and instantly closed the space between you. You looped your arms around his neck and kissed him softly on the lips. It was only a lingering peck, nothing too scandalous as these were students at your job. You always missed him when he wasn’t close by. You felt like a lovestruck teenager when he was around and admittedly, so did he. Giles saw the way you both looked at each other. Moved around each other, anticipating and saw how real it was. It was the same he had with Jenny. He couldn’t let the rest of the group ruin this kind of love. It was rare and he wouldn’t wish it on anyone to lose it (not even the man with the face that tore his from him).

Giles shook his head as Buffy was about to shout something to break you both apart. Something about demons and vampires. About Angel and evil. His apparent lying. To try and warn you. She closed her mouth, rolling her eyes.

“We need to go patrol- uh, not patrolling, just – walking. At night” She muttered instead, taking her jacket and giving Angel a hard stare.

“Make sure you watch out for vampires. There’s a couple extra stakes in the weapon’s closet if you’d like to take them” You smile sweetly, “You can never be too careful, some bite” you teased before kissing Angel on the cheek and reluctantly moving from his arms which were loosely looped around your waist still. You started walking over to clear the coffee table from the glasses everyone had used when they visited. Leaving the others wide-eyed and eventually laughing at the way you had kept up the pretence so well.

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spencerspecifics · 4 years

Note

What about a moried fluffy fic based on You Belong With Me by: Taylor Swift

You have no clue how much I absolutely love this song prompt thank u anon moreid is my shit here we go. (It is fluffy but it’s angsty in the beginning so yeah stay for the fluff thanks.) And I’m so sorry this took so long to get up! I took some time off from writing bc of lots of factors.

Lowkey TW?? Slight homophobia Bc Derek’s gf thinks he’s “too gay” even tho he’s just bi Also, song lyrics are in bold lettering. They’re going to be part the story here and there to help plot and whatnot so yeah!

———————————————————————

You Belong With Me

———————————————————————

Spencer had a problem. Namely a person problem. A Derek Morgan problem. Spencer didn’t hate Derek, quite the opposite, actually. Spencer was crushing hard on the man. And he couldn’t do anything. Spencer would rather lose his right hand then tell Derek how he felt about him, he couldn’t risk their friendship over his stupid little crush.

But just because he hid his feelings, ignored them through hell and high water- it didn’t mean they weren’t real, or weren’t there. They were both very real and apparent. Every time Derek called him ‘pretty boy’ or ‘genius’ or ‘handsome’, every time Derek wrapped his arm around him casually or did small things to showed him he cared, caused Spencer to blush and go speechless. Spencer was smart, but how to react to someone you’re infatuated with giving you attention, he’d never be able to solve that.

Time and time again, though, he found himself in situations where it was just him and Derek- and everything in his brain and body would scream at him to tell him how much he liked him, tell him how they should be together. It just made sense, after all.

Long paragraph short, here are the four times Spencer felt like they belonged together, and the one time Derek realized they do belong together.

“...You’re on the phone with your girlfriend, she’s upset. She’s goin’ off about something that you said, ‘cause she doesn’t get your humor like I do...”

Spencer hung out with Derek a lot, it was just by default. He wasn’t a social individual, but he pack bonded with the team. Spencer saw everyone there as his friends, so yeah, he hung out with Derek. They would go do things together, grab lunch, get coffee, meet up to go shopping. Painfully mundane tasks that were so domestic it could cause spencer another migraine if he thought about it for long enough.

It was on one of these mundane days when problems slowly arose. They were in the mall, sat in the food court. Spencer was looking over a new book he had just bought, it was a thick book on physics, it would probably take him a day or two at most to read it, his tray of food in front of him was still mostly untouched.

Unlike Spencer, Derek was eating. Though it was greasy mall pizza, it was still food. Derek decided he’d run a few extra miles to work it off as some sort of consequence for his action.

They sat in silence, Spencer already flipping through pages quickly, mouthing the words he was reading over to himself; and Derek chewing silently as he watched the genius in front of him.

That was, until, Derek’s phone rang. Breaking the ambiance that had surrounded the two. Spencer didn’t look up, he was too invested in the book in front of him. Derek reacted, though, wiping his hands off on a napkin before grabbing his cell phone out of his back pocket. He looked over the caller ID, it was Melissa.

Melissa was his newest fling, Spencer had heard bits and pieces of Garcia and Derek’s conversation surrounding the topic, but he knew the bare minimum- deciding best to not involve himself with how his crushes romantic life was soaring- meanwhile his was crashing.

Spencer didn’t know it was Melissa though, not until Derek pulled the phone up to his ear and said; “Hey, Melissa!”

If anyone on their team was with them and watching Spencer, they would have noticed the way his eyes looked off the book for a moment, up at Derek, before immediately turning back down; to reread the same page he didn’t need to reread because he could just go back into his memory to figure out what the words on the paper meant to say. But he had to reread the page. The strongest memory in the whole universe couldn’t tell him what was on the page in front of him, he was distracted.

Melissa on the other line started speaking. Derek listened before responding; “Oh, not much, Y’know- just at the mall with the doc.”

Spencer kept himself staring down at the book in front of him, even though he could feel the blush rising up to his ears. It was stupid that made him blush like a schoolgirl. But he couldn’t help it. So instead, he hid in the pages about quantum mechanics. Something real, something not confusing. Something that was pure and basic and understanding.

“No-“ Derek chuckled, “No, pretty boy ain’t that type of doctor,” god, this was going to be the death of Spencer. Pretty boy always was something that made him melt. He couldn’t help it, god knows he tried. He did all the distraction techniques he could find. None of them really worked.

Spencer opted to hide in his book more, act like he wasn’t listening to Derek. Even though he was. He was always hooked on every last word the man spoke, it always mattered. This was just a hopeless effort, Spencer realized, as he sunk down in the uncomfortable plastic chair.

“Now, what on earth are you- hey, baby- beautiful, what are you-“ Derek started, sounding concerned.

Spencer couldn’t help it at this point, he looked up over the top of the book. Derek was looking at his phone in bewilderment. It was no longer up to his ear.

“...Everything okay?” Spencer asked curiously after a moment. Derek just sighed setting his phone down on the table next to his food tray. “I don’t even know, man. I called you pretty boy and that made Melissa flip- she was all like ‘who’s pretty boy? We discussed you being bisexual already, you better not be changing up on me’. Then she hung up.”

“That doesn’t make sense.” Spencer replied, book still up between him and Morgan. “Yeah, I’m confused. It was a joke.” Derek explained to Reid, as if Spencer was ever owed an explanation regarding this.

“She must be insecure.” Spencer theorized plain and simple. Derek watched him curiously instead of asking anything to lead him on, “If she gets the idea that we’re a thing- just based on a nickname, then she’s gonna hate you and Garcia. You don’t need someone like that.”

Derek sighed, “You’re right. But I really thought she was great.” “Maybe she is,” Spencer shrugged, “I don’t know her. You do. All I’m saying is, she won’t like you and Garcia if she didn’t like my nickname.”

That elicited a chuckle from Derek, a sound Spencer always cherished in hearing. “Yeah, I can’t have someone hating my favorite boy wonder,” once again, Spencer could feel the blush coming onto his face. He was just hoping the lighting inside the mall food court didn’t make it all too obvious. “I’ll talk to her about it.” Derek decided. Spencer just nodded, not entirely wanting to talk right now.

“Yeah.. um, do what’s best.” Spencer agreed blandly. He wasn’t sure what else to say. And wasn’t this just laughable? Giving his crush dating advice? Spencer wasn’t stupid, but he was in this scenario.

“Yeah, I will. Anyways,” Derek continued the conversation casually, reaching out covering Spencer’s book with his hand. “What are you-“ Spencer started, confused. “Taking away your book. Eat before your food gets cold.” Derek spoke plainly, as if this was so obvious. He pulled Spencer’s book out of his grasp, setting it down next to himself; before pushing Spencer’s untouched tray of food in front of him.

“I’m not very-“ Spencer started, already trying to reach back for his book. Derek just shook his head, pulling the book closer to him. “Nuh-uh, not today. Not today. You’re eating. No if’s, and’s, or but’s.”

Spencer sunk down in his seat a little as he finally caved, agreeing and eating the mall food. Granted, it wasn’t great, but it was food, and he did need to eat. Last thing he had eaten that day was a granola bar for breakfast, and Derek knew that he forgot to eat.

He ate in silence as Derek watched him, before moving his gaze to casually watch the other mall patrons. It was so entirely stupid and domestic of them. It was nothing special, it wasn’t even that good of a memory. But for some reason, Spencer knew that was the first time he felt something new towards Derek. More new than just his crush. It was a new, overwhelming feeling of “I wouldn’t treat you that way” “I wouldn’t care if you called someone babygirl” “I would be better for you” before finally, his mind landed on, “you belong with someone who wouldn’t judge. Someone like me. You belong with me.”

That’s when Spencer knew he was fucked, more so than before.

“...I’m in the room, it’s a typical Tuesday night. I’m listening to the type of music she doesn’t like. And she’ll never know your story like I do...”

The second time was at Spencer’s apartment. He had complained about his bookshelf not being stable enough to hold all his books, and Derek had practically invited himself over; “C’mon, Reid. It’ll be good. Get some quality time without the ladies, we can order Chinese, plus I can show you how to fix your shelf so you don’t have to ask for help next time.”

So yeah, now they had gone directly from work to Spencer’s apartment- the only pit stop being to Derek’s house to pick up his toolbox, as Spencer didn’t have one.

Spencer wished he wasn’t such a pushover, because damnit, now he was gonna be in his apartment with Derek. That didn’t seem like a problem to anyone else, obviously- because they weren’t crushing hard on the guy. So Spencer just had to stand there and hide how much he liked Derek, and how at home Derek made his apartment feel- because it felt better with him there. He belonged there.

Spencer ignored his thoughts as they got into his apartment, he led Derek over to the problematic bookshelf in question. Some of the books had toppled off the shelves, and were on the ground below. “Damn, Reid, you don’t mess around with all these books.” Derek joked lightly as he looked over the immense amount of books Spencer had shoved onto the shelf; Derek squatted down, lowering the tool kit next to him as he started taking books off the shelves one by one so he could further inspect what was wrong with it.

Spencer protested, not understanding Derek was joking, “It’s not my fault- the bookshelf is supposed to hold books, if it can’t do what’s promised then that’s on the manufacturers error.”

Derek just chuckled slowly in response before replying, still pulling books off the shelves “Don’t worry, pretty boy, we’ll get this sorted out for you, alright? Just get some music on so we got something to hang to.” Derek wasn’t looking at Spencer, thank god- or he’d see how the genius got so flustered so quickly, how quickly a blush spread across his face, and how he immediately looked away from him, to the walls, the floor. To look at anything but Derek.

“Yes- right. Music.” Spencer changed his focus, he couldn’t think about how good it felt to be called a pet name by Derek. He couldn’t let himself think about it, or else he’d never stop. So he busied himself with getting some music to play through the quiet apartment, he turned over to his old radio that was sat on his study desk, it was a loud radio, that’s why he got it. It was compact, but if he put it in the bathroom he could hear it from the kitchen. It was the perfect device for him.

Spencer turned the radio on, the channel he always listened to was already tuned in, so he left it that way. Soft instrumental music started flowing out of the speakers, Derek stopped his motion of putting books down to turn and look at Spencer semi-curiously; “What’s this music?” “Classical.” Spencer replied easily, looking down at the radio as he messed with the volume dial that always seemed to be loose. “It’s on 88.1, they play strictly instrumental and classical pieces. It’s nice.”

Derek didn’t respond, Spencer didn’t need him to respond. It was an inconsequential conversation about music. If Derek didn’t like the station, he was more than welcome to change it to another. But he didn’t, it was Spencer’s apartment, and the soft classical music playing just seemed fitting to play there. Plus Derek just wanted the music as a background sound to help him focus, it wasn’t really important what it was- just that there was music playing.

Spencer went off to the kitchen to find the menu he had saved from the local Chinese restaurant that does deliveries, meanwhile Derek continued pulling books off the shelves. Melissa would hate him for being here, ever since the call at the mall, she was convinced Derek was going to leave her for him- or for another guy. She thought he was “too gay” to stay with her, obviously that’s not how him or his bisexuality works. But Melissa didn’t see it that way.

God, everything Derek saw, Melissa saw differently, it was ironic he was even with her. He saw Penelope Garcia as his best female friend, his babygirl. Melissa saw her as a threat, they had a whole argument about it. Melissa had finally stopped seeing Garcia as a threat when he told her that Garcia was wrapped up in Kevin drama. He wanted to tell Garcia about all of this, but he knew that if he did she would immediately tell him to dump her. Anyone that came between their friendship wasn’t allowed, and that wasn’t a rule Garcia had made up, it was more of an understanding they had come to about their dynamic as friends.

Derek just hadn’t dumped her yet out of fear. This was his first significant other in so long, it felt like a failure to start something and end it. He wanted to fix it. Though he knew it was unlikely he could, he still wanted to try.

Derek kept thinking as he finished pulling the books off until there were none left, he then pulled on the board of the shelf to see how unstable it was, all while continuing to think. He thought about Melissa, but none of it was really positive. It was all what she would hate about him being here, other than the obvious of being with Spencer (which she already disliked. She hated the genius and she hadn’t ever spoken to him, which Derek didn’t think was rational at all.) She would hate how Spencer’s apartment was, the green walls and shelves of books, the lack of a television, the soft glow from the lamps. Derek found every single last one of these qualities endearing, it helped show who Spencer was as a whole. Melissa would see it as a problem.

She’d say green was a gross color, that Spencer needed to be aware of pop culture and get a television, she’d say that Spencer didn’t get out enough and he lived like a hermit; she’d say the lighting was weird and dark, instead of soft and calming.

Derek let out a sigh, deciding to abandon his thoughts as a whole, because they were just starting to irritate him. Spencer was great the way he was, Melissa was being problematic; and him and her really needed couples counseling or something. That was the decision he landed on as he gave his full attention to the wiggly boards in Spencer’s bookshelf.

Derek pulled on the shelf again to test it’s strength. It was loose, pretty close to just falling down altogether. It was good he was here to fix it, Derek concluded, as he reached for the screwdriver in his toolkit.

The night continued on, Derek went through part by part, working on fixing Spencer’s bookshelf; meanwhile Spencer had ordered them dinner from the local Chinese place. Reid had thought about setting up the dinner at his kitchen table, before immediately regretting that idea. This was casual, it wasn’t some type of sit down dinner with Derek. That’s the last thing he needed, Spencer decided, as he walked over to Derek and handed him the carton of beef broccoli and a pair of chopsticks to go with.

Derek took them and put them down next to himself quickly, before pivoting into a sitting position on the floor and turning himself away from the bookshelf, facing exactly to the dinner table- which is where Spencer had opted to sit at, alone.

“What’re you doing all the way over there?” Derek’s spoke out to him. Spencer tried to be casual, “All my stuff’s over here, and it’s not that far from you,” he shrugged, hoping Derek wouldn’t go any deeper. But of course, he did. “And I’m over here, so bring your stuff my way- you’re gonna make your repairman eat sitting on the floor alone? That’s cold, man.”

Spencer rolled his eyes as he picked up his carton of orange chicken and rice, “Okay, I’m here.” He tried to sound like he was annoyed, instead of stupidly simultaneously happy and unhappy with derek’s request (happy because his stupid crush on Derek, unhappy because of the same, unfortunate reason).

He made his way over to Morgan, sitting down across from him and using the back of his couch as a makeshift chair prop to lean against. He opened up his food, as Derek was now satisfied with this series of events and had gone back to paying attention to his beef broccoli. Spencer picked up his fork, ready to eat and just ignore how he was feeling, when Derek spoke up again; “Seriously- you still don’t know how to use chopsticks?”

Suddenly, Spencer was giving Derek a glare that had no malice, while Derek just chuckled at Spencer’s fury. “I’m tellin’ you. You need to learn how to use chopsticks.” “It’s fine.” Spencer argued weakly, “No way, if suddenly all the forks, knives, and spoons vanished, you’d have to eat with chopsticks.”

“Not true if sporks are still a thing.” Spencer pointed out, “I’m gonna smack you.” Derek replied, now it was Spencer’s turn to laugh.

“...But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts, she’s cheer captain and I’m on the bleachers. Dreaming ‘bout the day when you wake up and find. That what you’re looking for has been here the whole time...”

The third time was when Spencer had resigned, accepting his feelings for what they were. He was now simply playing the waiting game, of waiting his crush out- because god knows he can’t go on like this forever. He hated how things have changed from a small crush into a serious never ending stream of thoughts he had whenever he was with Derek, but that’s how it was for him now.

He had ways to keep himself in check, though. As he always did. One was re-reading long old stories to himself from memory. It usually worked pretty well, and it was a good way to just pass the time in general.

Except for one, especially horrid time, when the FBI baseball team had a game against the CIA’s.

Spencer wasn’t playing, thank god for that. He wasn’t good at sports, though that one time he played baseball with Derek earlier in the season was a great memory he loved to go back to and remember. But that was a fluke, and he knew if he played again it wouldn’t go nearly as well.

Since he wasn’t playing, him and the rest of the team had come along to bring Morgan moral support from the sidelines of the bleachers. What Spencer hadn’t expected was Melissa showing up, too.

She showed up at the same time the team did to the field, they set up on the bleachers with some blankets and a basket full of snacks (courtesy of one Penelope Garcia.) and then she was suddenly walking over, surprising the team.

“Hi- um, are you Garcia? Is this the area for the BAU?” She asked, she had shoulder length brown hair, hazel eyes, and was wearing a flowy pink and yellow sundress. She was pretty, borderline beautiful, there was no denying that.

Spencer decided to start re-reading the books in his head by that point. He could already guess it was Melissa, as Rossi wouldn’t have invited a woman to this event until at least the ninth or eighth date (though with Rossi, Spencer never really knew how he operated in terms of dating, and he had no desire to know). Spencer also knew she wasn’t Hotch’s, as Hotch was too focused on Jack and the team to even consider dating.

Emily was single, and definitely would not invite a guy (or girl) to this either. J.J. was happy with Will, and Penelope had the on and off thing with Kevin. So yeah, Spencer deduced easily that this beautiful mysterious woman was Melissa.

The fact Derek invited Melissa rubbed Spencer the wrong way. But it wasn’t his business, he reminded himself, as he did his best to start focusing in on pride and prejudice in his mind.

Garcia began welcoming Melissa, even though it wasn’t necessary; “It is! And I am! Hi! Are you Melissa? Derek told me you were coming!”

Spencer did his best to not focus on Melissa, skipping forward a few chapters into pride of prejudice in his mind, to keep himself focused. He got pulled from his book though, as Melissa introduced herself and Garcia started introducing the team back;

“Well, grandpa over there is David Rossi,” “Easy, or else you won’t get those extra vacation days I offered you.” Rossi replied simply as hell, reaching for a bag of chips from the basket. “Fine- that esteemed gentleman right there is David Rossi.” “Better.” Rossi responded, a small grin showing across his face. Melissa laughed softly with Garcia and Rossi for a moment before Penelope continued on;

“That’s Aaron Hotchner, and his son Jack.” Garcia pointed them out, Jack was playing on his Nintendo DS, only looking up to wave briefly as Hotch reached over to shake Melissa’s hand. “Nice to meet you.” “You too.” She smiled at him.

“Those two lovely ladies are Jennifer Jareau and Emily Prentiss, plus Jennifer’s hubby Will and their adorable son Henry,” they all shook hands with Melissa, and J.J. briefly told her that it wasn’t necessary to call her “Jennifer” but instead “J.J.” as that was the name she was most used to.

“Then, we got Doctor beautiful brain, Spencer Reid.” Spencer looked up, giving Melissa a small wave, finally looking her head on. He had seen her, sure, but he hadn’t made eye contact with her until right now. And damn, she looked wild behind the eyes. And not in a good way. She was perky, seemingly almost as positive as Penelope. But that positivity didn’t reach her eyes. She looked Spencer up and down, and there was something deep in her gaze that made him want to get up and walk to the CIA side of the bleachers. It was clear he was going to have to walk on eggshells around her, and he wished he knew why.

“It’s nice to meet you.” Spencer offered up as a greeting, “You too,” Melissa replied, smiling as she turned on her polite charm again. It was only in her eyes he could see her distaste towards him. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

Melissa settled down, sitting next to the rest of the team as they waited for the game to start. She was thankfully seated near Emily, J.J., and Garcia. So Spencer and her’s conversation was limited.

That was until, he was brought up in conversation; “Oh geez- one of the funniest things was when Spence and Morgan got stuck in that elevator together,” J.J. recounted, causing all four of them to laugh; meanwhile Spencer didn’t react. He was still deep in his mind reading, and though he heard his name called, it didn’t cause him to want to stop.

“Yeah- I heard about that from Derek, he said Spencer spouted off some fact about people and elevator deaths because he was scared.” Melissa turned to Spencer as she spoke, giving him an in to speak. Spencer didn’t realize she had even turned to him, as he was fully focusing his brain power on the pages of the book he had read over before.

“Uh.. what’s he doing?” Melissa asked in a hushed voice to J.J., “Oh- he’s just reading. Spencer, hey.” J.J. said, leaning over and tapping his shoulder, finally catching his attention; causing him to open his eyes.

“Sorry- what?” Spencer finally spoke, as he was fully there and listening to them now, instead of somewhat ignoring them and focusing on a memory of a book.

“..J.J. said you were reading?” Melissa asked curiously, obviously confused. Spencer nodded, “Yes. I was. I have an eidetic memory so I can look back at anything I’ve ever read. So sometimes I go back and read books I’ve read before.” Spencer explained awkwardly, “I do it to, uh, pass the time.”

“Hm.. that’s.. that’s cool. Derek mentioned you were smart, recounting lots of facts.” Melissa said slowly, it seemed like she was trying to gain some sort of edge in the conversation, but thankfully Emily butted in casually- not realizing the odd atmosphere that was slowly building.

“Oh yeah- Reid’s always doing that. Talk to him on Halloween and all he talks about is how paganism played a major role in the now very American, very non-pagan holiday.” The girls laughed on innocently as Melissa gained a serious look in her eye again.

“You know everything?” She asked him, “No.” he replied, he was self assured in this field, he knew how to handle himself when people were doubting his intelligence level. “I just know a lot.” He clarified.

Melissa looked like she was ready to speak, say something to him- he had no clue if it would be good or bad. But everyone’s attention got redirected on the whooping sounds both teams made as they entered the field. The game was starting.

Spencer had stayed focused on the game, even running statistics and probabilities in his head on who would come out victorious. Rossi made a joke they should bet on the game like people do on horses, and he’d just cheat and use Reid to make sure he won.

The rest of the team didn’t go for that, as they would employ the same strategy as Rossi, and Spencer was smart enough to give them all the wrong answers so he would actually win.

It was now the third inning, J.J. had gone with Hotchner and Will to take a short walk with the kids, as they were getting bored in their seats. Rossi went off to flirt it up with the older woman who was running the concessions stand, and Emily and Garcia had gone off to the bathroom together.

Now it was just Melissa and Reid alone, and Reid didn’t like her company. He didn’t mean it in a rude way, but also maybe he did- for his very stupid and very personal reason that she was actively dating his crush. But besides that reason, she seemed off, and on a team of behavioral analysts, he couldn’t be the only one who noticed.

There was something wrong with her, but Spencer couldn’t place his finger on what. That was, until, she sat down next to him on the bleachers. “So,” she started casually, “what’re you reading up there?” “Pride and Prejudice.. have you read it?” Spencer replied, doing his best to make polite conversation.

Melissa shook her head, “No, way too long of a book for me.” Spencer just nodded, an “Ah” sound escaping his lips before their conversation entirely diminished as they sat in silence, watching the CIA’s team line up for batting.

Derek was on second base, and while he waited for the CIA team to finish lining up, he turned to the only two people still on the bleachers and waved. Melissa waved in response excitedly, “Go Derek!” She shouted for good measure, Reid on the other hand just gave a small wave to him.

Their personalities were very different, Spencer gathered.

“Derek helped you with a bookshelf the other week, right?” Melissa asked after silence had settled over them, and Reid had almost returned to his brain book. Her question stopped him from reading, though.

Spencer nodded, “Uh, yeah. He helped fix my bookshelf, the boards were all wobbly and books couldn’t stay on.” Melissa hummed in response for a moment, before looking back out to the field. Derek was now busy talking to a teammate, a guy Spencer recognized from the terrorist division.

“Look, Spencer,” Melissa finally spoke again, letting out a sigh before she continued on; “We both know Derek is an attractive man, a great man. But he’s my man. I don’t need you confusing him and making him switch sides- believe me, I want to think that you two are just the best of friends and that’s it. But I don’t believe it, not for a second, especially not after hearing how he talks about you, and finally meeting you.”

Spencer stayed quiet, not looking at Melissa, instead opting to stare at his hands, that were now firmly clasped together as he took in what she was saying. “We are just friends, though..” Spencer finally spoke up in a weak defense for himself. Melissa just chuckled, their pleasant conversation had somehow turned to her speaking to him in a sickly sweet malicious tone.

“I don’t think you are. I think there’s something more, and I don’t want things to go any further- with either of you.”

Spencer stayed quiet again, seriously considering exiting the bleachers and getting a cab (as the team had carpooled over to this event together.) and just leaving, going back to his apartment and faking the stomach flu for a day and a half. It seemed so appealing to just disappear right now.

Melissa continued on after she realized Spencer wasn’t going to say anything. “I’m not trying to be the bad guy here, Spencer. You seem very kind, and smart. You told me earlier you don’t know everything, but you know a lot,”

Spencer nodded, that was true, he had said that, she kept going; “I hope you now know where your place is. Away from Derek. And I hope you know you aren’t alone with me talking to you, I would be telling Penelope Garcia the same exact thing, except she has a boyfriend, Kevin. Derek told me. So you’re the only single one who poses a problem. I hope we can be friends- but you need to back up.”

And that was all, she got up and moved away, and just in time as Emily and Garcia made their reappearance from the bathroom and onto the bleachers.

Spencer stayed frozen, however. Not really sure what he could say or do. All he knew now is that he had a very good reason to dislike Melissa. And he did, as much as he hated to admit it. He disliked Melissa, he wanted her gone. He didn’t want her and Derek together.

He was now only more sure that he would treat Derek better, he wouldn’t go around threatening his friends- he couldn’t even imagine that as something he would ever want to do.

Spencer stayed, shrunken on the bleachers as he watched the team play, staying quiet and reserved while Melissa and the rest of the team cheered.

Spencer just hoped Derek figured out that Melissa wasn’t good for him sooner than later, or else he’d never get out of the relationship scratch-free.

“Walkin’ the streets with you and your worn out jeans. I can’t help thinking this is how it ought to be. Laughin’ on the park bench thinking to myself, ‘hey isn’t this easy?’. And you got a smile that could light up this whole town. I haven’t seen it in a while since she brought you down. You say you’re fine I know you better than that. Hey, whatcha doing with a girl like that?”

Since Spencer’s unfortunate encounter with Melissa, he had done his best to steer clear of Derek. Only being with him when necessary (and they were only really together for work, though for the few latest times that Derek’s invited him out to get food or see a movie, Spencer’s declined).

Derek had subtly caught notice, wondering why Reid had been declining his invitations. At first he thought it was because Reid was busy, he was somehow also getting a bachelors degree in philosophy at the moment, it made since if he had limited free time.

But then he did more thinking, and even if reid was busy- he always made time for Derek. Morgan knew that for a fact, because every time he needed help (work related or not) Spencer was there, and ready to assist. Even if Reid was studying, the kid read so fast he only needed to read something once to remember everything. So it didn’t make sense. Not at all. Spencer was avoiding him.

So why? Derek now had to get alone with Reid, he needed to see what this was about.

And Derek got his chance, after solving a case in the sleepy city within Maine, called Rangeley. The teams plane was having a malfunction issue with a part of the engine, so they were stuck there for an extra day. Unfortunate for everyone else, but a blessing in disguise for Derek. It was the perfect time for the team to hang together, maybe get some meals or see a movie. But Derek set up a plan.

Morgan knocked on Spencer’s door the morning they had nothing to do, with his plan already getting set in motion. This was step one, of many.

Reid responded in his own special fashion, opening the door a crack to look out at Derek and into the hall, his hair looked messy, he was still slightly bleary eyed- and he was still in his pajamas and mismatched socks. He had just woken up.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” Derek asked, he didn’t want to start this morning off on Reid being rudely awoken. Reid nodded as he opened the door more, stepping forward the slightest bit. “Yeah, but it’s okay. What’s going on?” Reid was already aware of the plane situation, the whole team had been told last night, which forced Derek into making this last minute plan.

“Nothing- the team doesn’t have anything to do. Wanna go get breakfast?” Derek asked, trying to phrase his words and himself casually. He didn’t want Reid to get suspicious and back out. He just wanted answers from his best friend, that’s all.

Spencer rubbed the sleep out of his eyes before responding. “Okay, yeah. Let me go get changed.”

They arrived at an Ihop. It wasn’t anything special, but it was the nearest breakfast place to the hotel, so it worked for them. They were greeted by a hostess who showed them to a booth.

Spencer didn’t know why he agreed this this, he shouldn’t have. But in his half-awake and still somehow sleep deprived mind, breakfast seemed like a good idea. A great idea, in fact. But he now was anxious again. He didn’t want to deal with Melissa, call him scared, nonconfrontational, weak- whatever. He just didn’t want to have to deal with her. He enjoyed hanging out with Derek, but he knew if he did then it would be inevitable that he would end up facing her wrath again.

Almost immediately after the hostess showed them to their booth, their waiter appeared to take their orders. “Goodmorning, what can I get started for you two?” The older gentleman, whose name tag simply read “John” asked them.

“Just some coffee, please.” Derek ordered for the both of them. He knew what Spencer would want to order, and he also knew how bad Spencer was at conversing with people he wasn’t familiar enough with. John just nodded, saying a quick; “Comin’ right up!” Before walking off to leave them alone.

“Is the rest of the team coming?” Spencer asked as he stifled a yawn with his hand. Derek shook his head, “No, they all wanted to sleep in. Lucky I dragged you out of bed, though.” He joked, hoping to lighten the mood in the room. Spencer just smiled sheepishly for a moment before looking back down at the table.

They stayed quiet, which wasn’t unusual for the two, especially considering they were both still tired. But Derek didn’t want there to be silence, he wanted to talk about what was going on. “Reid-“ he started, but before he could continue his sentence, John was standing by the table with a pot of coffee. Derek and Spencer both wordlessly pushed their mugs over towards John, watching him fill them up with coffee in silence.

John finished pouring and stepped back, “I’ll give you folks some more time before ordering.” Derek just nodded at him, “That would be great, thank you.” And with that, their waiter was gone.

Reid was now focused on his mug of coffee, grabbing some sugar packets from the container on the table and ripping one open after another, before finally pouring it into his coffee. “How many sugars you plan on putting in there?” “Two.” “You’re already ripping open a third packet, Reid.”

“Oh.” Was all he said in response, Derek sighed, Spencer wasn’t acting right; he hadn’t for a while but this morning was peak Reid-being-weird, so Derek needed to take a stronger approach; “Reid. What’s wrong?”

“Hm? Nothing’s wrong.” Spencer said all too quickly to be believable. Derek rolled his eyes, watching the tired genius grab a spoon and stir his coffee with an intensity he never normally used. “That doesn’t work on me, man. We’re all profilers. I know when something’s up.” Spencer stayed quiet, still stirring his coffee with the spoon.

Reid didn’t want to be in this situation. He knew he should’ve hidden himself better, said and acted in different ways. Derek knew something was up, and Spencer couldn’t hide it forever. Especially not from him. He hated lying to Morgan.

“So..” Spencer spoke quietly, “What do you think is up?” Derek rolled his eyes at Spencer again, “Don’t talk to me like an unsub trying to stall. Somethings wrong. Did I do something- was it something I did or said?” Spencer put his spoon down as he watched Derek.

“I gotta be honest, Reid. I don’t know what’s going on here. We used to hangout so much, and suddenly you’re giving me the cold shoulder. I thought it was because of your studies- but you’ve done written whole thesesis while we’ve hungout. So it’s not you being busy with school. You make time. Why isn’t there any time now?” Derek kept going, voice raising in intensity as he got to the end.

Spencer wanted to say something, he wanted to say something so bad. But he didn’t know what. So instead he took a sip of his not-sweet-enough coffee. Derek watched him as he did so, intensity not wavering.

Spencer put the mug back down onto the table before he finally found his words, “It’s not you. You didn’t do anything.” “So what is it?” Morgan asked him almost instantly. Spencer sighed, he didn’t want to say it was Melissa. He couldn’t, he didn’t want to make Derek feel bad, he thought Derek was happy with her. He didn’t want to ruin that, even if Melissa was terrible. Derek was seemingly glad, and Spencer didn’t want him changing from positive to anything else (except somehow maybe more positive.)

“It’s nothing.” “It’s definitely not nothing, Reid. Please tell me.” Derek pried more. He couldn’t let this go. Spencer sighed, a weak sign of defeat. “Okay- but. I’m sorry. This involves Melissa.” He admitted, looking up to see Derek had a confused expression on his face. “What about her?” “When we went to the baseball game a few weeks ago and met her. She was really pleasant at first, but as soon as we were alone on the bleachers together she told me that I needed to stop being so close with you. And it really freaked me out, she saw me as a threat.”

Derek leaned back in the booth bench, unsure of what to do. “What did she say?” Derek finally asked after a moment, deciding he wanted to know what Melissa said to Spencer in full to make him act like this. Spencer didn’t deserve to be treated this way, he just didn’t. “I’m not going to-“ Spencer started, Derek just cut him off, “Yes you will. I know you remember what she said. So tell me. Please.”

Spencer fidgeted with the handle of the mug, “Okay, okay.. she said that you were her man and then she said, ‘I don’t need you confusing him and making him switch sides’...” Spencer spoke once more after that, before he could forget, “She also, um.. she said she would tell Garcia the same thing, except she didn’t because she knew she was with kevin.”

Derek stayed quiet, looking at Spencer before looking back down at his mug of coffee. Spencer stayed quiet, he didn’t know what he could say or do right now to make this better.

“I’m sorry.” Spencer finally decided to speak after it had been silent for a few minutes. “I didn’t want to tell you because you-“

Derek held his hand up as a simple gesture, indicating Spencer should be quiet. Spencer hushed up quickly, watching Morgan, who was sitting silently still, staring down with an intensity that could burn stronger than the sun. He stood up after a moment, pulling out his wallet and putting two twenty dollar bills down on the table, in front of Spencer. “For the coffee. Get some breakfast, too. I need to go.” “Derek, I-“ Spencer started, standing up, he wasn’t gonna leave Derek alone, especially to process this large amount of information. but he had started walking away, back turned to reid- leaving him alone at the booth. He wasn’t going to come back, and as much as Spencer wanted to follow him and never leave his side- he could tell he should leave him alone, at least for now.

After that whole experience, Spencer didn’t stay to get breakfast. He finished his coffee, paid, and left quickly. Deciding Derek needed space, and he wasn’t sure what else he could do, so he tucked tail back to the hotel. He lied to himself, saying maybe he could nap or watch T.V and ignore his imploding thoughts.

He couldn’t ignore his imploding thoughts, if that wasn’t painstakingly obvious. Spencer’s mind reeled from every aspect of their breakfast, to how he was curt and almost rude to Derek- he now wished he hadn’t been, but how else could he have acted? He didn’t know. He hated how things had went. He should’ve lied and told Derek he didn’t have the time for breakfast.

So, when Spencer finally got the hotel, he sat and thought and waited, waited for any sounds outside of his hotel door. Derek’s room was directly across the hall from his. So he waited for the sounds of the door opening, the beeping of the keycard, the sound of footsteps that were muffled by the soft carpet. Anything that would show Derek was back, back close to him, close enough to him for a conversation again. Because he knew that they needed to talk.

Spencer was counting. One hour and eighteen minutes passed before he heard any sounds of life that would match what he was waiting for. Namely, he heard the footsteps approach by his door, and then the beep of the keycard. And finally, the door opening and shutting quickly. Derek was there, he was back, Spencer got off his perch on the bed in record speed, exiting out to the hall and crossing quickly.

He was about to knock on the door, hand raised in the air, before he slowed himself down. Was this too much? What if Morgan didn’t want to talk to right now? What if Derek thought he was lying and was mad? Oh god, that terrified Spencer. He hoped Derek knew he wasn’t lying, he could run any behavior test he wanted to, but he wouldn’t lie to Derek. Not now, not ever.

Spencer still had his hand raised in the air, standing directly in front of the door. If Derek thought he was lying, he would prove he wasn’t. Nothing mattered right now, Spencer decided as he took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

Spencer heard movement from inside the room, before Derek opened the door. He looked stressed, the lines in his face were hard set, this was how he looked when he dealt with an unsub. This isn’t how he should be looking on a day off. Derek said nothing as he looked at Spencer, “Can we talk?” Spencer asked him after it was clear Derek wasn’t going to start talking.

Derek nodded. Wordlessly opening the door more, and stepping back to allow Reid inside. He stepped in, Derek’s room was a mirror copy of Spencer’s, simple and small. He had his duffel sat on the floor by the small twin bed provided by the hotel.

Reid stood in the room, Derek moved past him to sit down on the edge of the bed as Spencer messed with some loose thread on his jacket, “I, um... I got your change..” Spencer started, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the wad of cash and coins. He wasn’t sure what to say now that he was inside Derek’s room. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, so he wasn’t sure how to prepare. Derek wasn’t acting like himself, so he didn’t know what would work.

Spencer went to hand it back to him, “Reid, no.” Derek started, causing Spencer to stop in his tracks, holding the money in silence.

“You didn’t come here for that.” Derek motioned to the money with his hand. “No. I didn’t.” Spencer mumbled awkwardly, shoving it back into his jacket pocket, the coins clinking together all too loudly for his liking.

“I’m sorry.” Derek sighed after a moment, “I shouldn’t have ran off like that. It’s just- I couldn’t believe what you were saying.” Spencer nodded, he wanted to say so much to Derek. He wanted to say, “I swear on my mother I am not lying”, he wanted to say “I’m sorry, I should have stayed quiet” he wanted to say “I care about you so much and I don’t want to see you walk away, I don’t want to lose you”. But Spencer couldn’t talk, he wasn’t sure what would come out if he spoke.

“I, uh, I called Melissa.” Derek told him, “After I left. I called her, I asked her if she said that to you, and she said she didn’t say it like that,” He took a breath before continuing on, “I asked her what she meant, because she wasn’t denying what she said. She just was saying the wording was off.”

Spencer found his small, awkward voice, deciding to look down at the floor instead of Derek. He was scared of what he would see. “What did she say the wording was?” He asked Derek, “She said she was harsher than that, told you to back off. Then she tried to explain herself, as if any of what she did was acceptable and could be fine under the disguise of caring for your significant other.”

“Reid, look at me. Please.” Derek sighed, not continuing whatever else he was going to say. Spencer finally looked up to meet his eyes. Derek just looked tired, leaning awkwardly on the couch, as he kept his gaze on Spencer.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause this.” Spencer apologized, he had no clue if he needed to. But it felt like what he had to do.

“No, don’t.” Derek shook his head, as if to knock the apology out of his brain. “Thank you for telling me. Thank you. The red flags were there, Reid. And there were so many. I was just ignoring them.”

Spencer stayed quiet, watching Derek as he admitted this out loud; “I just- I wanted to make it work. But the fact she said that to you, and was gonna tell garcia, I just-“ Derek shook his head again, a mixture of defeat and anger simultaneously now instead of a signal for reid to stop.

“It upset me. I couldn’t believe it. So I called her and that happened and... and...” Derek trailed off, sighing simply as if that was the end of the sentence.

“...You broke up?” Spencer asked carefully, not wanting to misjudge. Derek nodded, rubbing his face with both hands. He was stressed. Spencer could tell.

“We did. It’s for the best. I can’t be dating someone who is like that. Especially not to you, or Garcia. That’s the biggest deal breaker out there.” Derek spoke, he was still serious but he was also sort of joking in a way to help calm the atmosphere down.

Spencer didn’t respond right away, instead moving to sit down on the edge of the bed, a few feet away from Morgan to give him plenty space. Derek didn’t like that, pulling on Spencer’s hand and motioning him to sit directly by his side.

Spencer complied, but cursed his face for causing a blush to form. This wasn’t the time to savor the feeling of Derek’s strong grip on his hand. It wasn’t.

Spencer was now sat down next to Derek, he wasn’t sure what else to say, so he stayed quiet. But he knew he didn’t want to leave Derek’s side now. He needed to be here. It couldn’t be easy for Derek.

“I’m sorry I left you at the restaurant.” Derek spoke after a while of them sitting side by side. “It’s okay,” Spencer told him, Derek gave him a sideways glance that proved he didn’t believe what he was saying.

“I didn’t end up having breakfast, though. I was worried.” Spencer admitted. Derek let out a low chuckle, and god, Spencer loved that sound. When was the last time he heard it? It used to be as common as hearing traffic in downtown Quantico, but as of lately; he hadn’t heard it often. Spencer knew in the back of his head, it was probably Melissa. Small things had changed with Derek during their time of dating.

First, it was calling Spencer “pretty boy”, and Garcia “baby girl”. Derek stopped saying it, and as much as garcia was worried about him, Derek had assured her he was okay. (Spencer didn’t mind the nickname stopping, as he finally didn’t have to come up with an excuse every time he blushed in front of the team when Derek would call him that.)

But then, Derek showed up to work looking tired, and sure- the job took long hours and restless nights and way too many coffee breaks. But he looked like he was losing that energy in his eyes. The excitement that made him join the team. He had told Spencer it was originally he missed Melissa. But now, Spencer was second guessing that.

Things had slowly changed with Derek, so small that Spencer didn’t even notice fully. But if you looked at all the reasons why he changed, it could be tied back to Melissa.

Good riddance. Spencer thought to himself. In ordinary situations, he would hate to think that, but today he didn’t; as he heard Derek’s soft, low chuckle. He didn’t want to ever stop see Derek being himself. He wouldn’t stop him from anything, he knew he wouldn’t. All he would want to do is care about him, kiss him, fall asleep in his arms, have a nice dinner with him- things a real boyfriend would do.

He would let Derek be himself, he wouldn’t stop him from working, he wouldn’t want to fight, he wouldn’t want to play games, and god knows he wouldn’t stop Derek and Garcia flirting. That’s what kept them happy, together, and secure.

“I’m sorry you guys broke up, but if it’s any consolation. You belong with someone better.” Spencer admitted, not adding on the last part he always wanted to say. If he could say it, lord knows he would. But he couldn’t tell Derek they belonged together. He sounded insane.

Derek softy bumped shoulders with him in an act of thanks, “Thank you. Now c’mon, let’s go get you some real breakfast, pretty boy.” He said as he stood up, the blush immediately rushed back into Spencer’s face. God, that name would be the death of him. He was seriously going to die like this.

“You still got my change? ‘Cause you’re paying.” Derek joked with him as he turned to pull on his coat, “It’s your money, why don’t I give it back to you?” Spencer asked him, the conversation now changing to a much lighter tone. Derek shrugged, “You paying a cashier will help your people skills. Now c’mon, I saw a good restaurant with outdoor seating that’s by a garden. You can give me plant facts while we eat.”

“...Oh, I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night. I’m the one who makes you laugh when you know you’re ‘bout to cry. And I know your favorite songs and you tell me ‘bout your dreams. Think I know where you belong, think I know it’s with me...”

Derek’s growing love for Spencer Reid was so slow he didn’t realize it until it was bursting out of his chest. It wasn’t obvious, it wasn’t, at least not to Derek. But suddenly it was everything Spencer did, it had his attention and captivated his thoughts. If Spencer was rambling about something, Derek would listen. Even if he didn’t care, even if he was tired, or hungry, or even mad.

To put it simply, it was every single thing that Spencer had ever done for him, suddenly making Derek feel something. It was every little funny thing Spencer did, it was every factoid he spat out to the team at the round table, it was how he was there for everyone in less than a second if needed, it was how Spencer complained about modern television, it was how Spencer grumbled in his sleep when they had to wake him up to get off the team’s jet after a long case. It was everything.

Every one of those instances just made something inside Derek squirm. Before, when Derek was dating Melissa- he was able to hold that feeling at bay. But it had now been months since his and Melissa’s breakup, and he had nothing to stop his mind from thinking about Reid, so the feelings and thoughts about the genius only grew stronger.

He thought about him nonstop. About how Reid was precious, amazing, handsome, smart, and god- he was borderline perfect. And what had originally started as a small inkling feeling inside of him was growing, growing into something almost unmanageable. It took everything in Derek not to just lean over and grab the genius’ hand as he was waving it around when speaking about something he was passionate about, and holding it tightly.

It was getting worse, day by day it was hell at work. But it was the best suffering in the world. Seeing Spencer sat at his desk, deep in thought as he typed reports out, along with emailing scientists and doctors on the side. God, Reid was an absolute genius. Morgan wasn’t sure if he could easily get over that fact anymore as he used to. Now Spencer’s smarts had more meaning, and he wasn’t sure why.

Spencer’s smarts always mattered, and definitely came in handy for the team, saving their asses more than once. But now, his IQ level was something Derek caught himself almost worrying about.

Spencer wouldn’t ever say it, but what if he thought Derek was stupid? The brawn to his brain. Nothing more than a dude to tackle the bad guys and handcuff them down. What if Spencer thought he wasn’t a good person, a good friend?

Now, along with the growing admiration, he also had growing fear. Derek was now going back and forth between doubting himself and wanting nothing more than pulling Spencer into a janitors closet and kissing him until they needed air.

Yeah, Derek was screwed. Work was painful. But he wouldn’t stop, he couldn’t. Even if he wanted to, he kept going along, because every day he saw Reid that feeling inside him only grew, and he didn’t have the willpower to stop it, and even if he did- he probably couldn’t. This was the strongest he had ever felt in a long time. It would take an army to stop how he felt (and even then, he might still beat the army).

The night it all went down wasn’t what derek intended it to be, he was pretty much planning on hiding his crush on reid to the grave, not admitting it to anyone ever about how he felt. Because as Derek saw it, Spencer was too smart for him. Definitely out of his league.

Because in Morgan’s mind, how dumb could he be? He had been slowly falling in love with his best friend, all while not even realizing it- and dating someone who was absolutely horrid during that entire process. It was enough to make him smack his head against his wall.

Derek was working late the night it happened, going over this same dilemma in his head as he finished up the last of his reports to turn over to Hotch.

Nothing was happening in the bullpen, and for the first time in forever, Spencer had left before the work day ended. He had been complaining of a stomachache, and Rossi had smartly deduced he was sick, and even though Reid didn’t want to leave- the team all but kicked him out the door, telling him he wasn’t any good working when feeling like vomiting.

Derek had missed him since he left, he felt stupid admitting that, but it was the plain and simple truth. His days were just better with Reid, and there was no other explanation than that. As stupid as it was, Derek had come to agree with that fact a while ago, and now it was just normal, him missing Reid. But thankfully Reid didn’t leave often enough for it to be bad.

That being said, Derek still worried. Deciding to call Reid, it was only 7 p.m., after all. Surely Reid was still awake.

His cell phone ringed as Derek held it up to his ear, twirling his pen absentmindedly between his index and pointer finger as he waited for Spencer to answer.

And he did, he sounded groggy, but he answered; “Hello?” “Hey, Reid.” Derek spoke, a small stupid smile creeping its way into his face. “How are you feeling?” He asked, he heard Spencer shuffling on the other end of the line, then the faucet running.

“I’m okay... just really dizzy now, so I got myself some water.” “Did you eat enough today?” Derek asked him, changing tones from a concerned friend to something more.

“Yes, I did. You don’t need to worry about my eating.” Reid said simply, he wasn’t the type of guy who liked being watched over. Derek understood why, but this was still necessary.

“Reid, c’mon now. When was the last time you ate?”

“11:23 a.m., Garcia gave me a muffin.” Spencer admitted after a beat of silence, “Reid, you’ve been not eating for almost eight hours- no wonder you felt so sick, man!” Derek said into the phone as he stood up, shrugging his jacket onto his shoulders, deciding to leave now. The reports were almost done, anyway.

“Well, I’m not hungry so it’s fine..” Reid argued weakly in response, “Oh no, no. Don’t even, Spencer. I’m getting you food and taking it to your place. Now go lay down and take some tylenol, drink that water you got.”

Spencer huffed weakly, but made no move to argue or protest Morgan inviting himself over. “Fine. Please get me chicken noodle soup.”

As agreed, Derek got Spencer some chicken noodle soup from a great nearby deli Spencer had told him about a while ago. Derek was proud of himself for this choice in food, even if Spencer had requested soup, he hadn’t requested where. And Derek felt smart for remembering one of Spencer’s favorite places.

Derek arrived to Spencer’s apartment, the door was left unlocked so he came in, carrying the container of soup in both of his hands, so he pushed the front door shut gently with his foot.

“Hey, Reid. I’m here,” he called out into the apartment, as he made his way to the bedroom, finding a sleeping Spencer on the bed, covered in a few miscellaneous blankets to keep him warm.

Derek sat the container of soup onto the nearby bedside table, next to spencer’s near empty water glass, before looking down at reid.

Spencer was perfect, regardless if he was awake or asleep. But asleep he was so peaceful, so calm. Derek could so easily keep Spencer safe from everything in his sleep, hold him in his arms and help ground him. He knew Spencer got nightmares, everyone on the team did. But he knew if he was there, he could help, he could make it better.

Spencer was breathing softly, his face looked slightly flushed, and his hair was all over the place, some strands had fallen onto his face directly, which Derek gently pushed out of the way to get a better look at Spencer.

“Mmm..” Spencer mumbled in his sleep, a response to Derek touching him, Derek took a sharp breath in. God, he wanted to just tell Spencer right now he felt, he so badly did. And Spencer was asleep, what was stopping him? He could say it and Spencer wouldn’t remember. Because unlike conscious Spencer, unconscious Spencer didn’t remember things.

So before his brain could catch up to his body, he did. “I love you.” He told Spencer softly, it was barely above a whisper. It was so quiet he was sure Spencer didn’t hear it at all, but it was just Derek’s unfortunate luck that Spencer started to stir.

“Hm?” He asked, sitting up slowly, Derek pulled his hand away from where he had tucked the strand of hair away.

“I said, I brought you soup.” Derek lied easily, hoping that “I love you” and “I brought you soup” were interchangeable sounding sentences. Spencer just nodded, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes slowly as he turned to look at the container on his bedside table

He didn’t suspect anything, Derek let a breath of relief out internally as Spencer reached for the container. “It didn’t come with a spoon, so I’ll go get you one.” Derek told him, getting up to go back into Spencer’s kitchen and grab a spoon from the silverware drawer.

When Derek came back, Spencer was more awake, holding the container of soup in his hands expectantly as he waited. Derek handed him the spoon wordlessly, before sitting down on the bed next to Spencer. “How are you feeling?” Derek asked him, as Spencer hadn’t tried out the soup yet (he was waiting for it to cool a bit more.) “Tired- sorry I left, by the way.” Reid responded slowly, he still felt the tiniest bit groggy.

Derek shook his head, “No Reid, don’t apologize. Are you feeling any better?” Spencer nodded slowly in response, starting to stir the soup to help it cool down. Derek watched him, the soft light from the only lamp on in the room casted off shadows throughout the walls and onto Spencer. He looked beautiful, even if he was wearing pajamas and his hair was messy and he was stirring his soup while half awake.

To Derek, he looked perfect. And once again, Derek’s body moved too fast for his brain to catch up with. He was suddenly talking; “Reid, can I tell you something?” He asked the tired genius, who just nodded and gave an “Mhm” sound in return as he continued to stir his soup.

Derek breathed in, he couldn’t go back. It was now or never. He turned to face Spencer, and if he hated him after this, so be it.

“I was an idiot, Spencer. When I was with Melissa, searching for a good moment to stay happy about was rare. But the entire time I’ve known you, everything’s been a good moment. Every opportunity I’ve had with you has let me grow and become smarter, and a better person..” he took a second to look back at Spencer, who was now looking at him with an expression he couldn’t read.

“But I’ve still been stupid. Because the entire time I was with her, I only looked forward to being with you. I missed the best thing right in front of me, and I hope you know that I am not normally this dense... but..” this was the hardest part of his whole speech, how the fuck was he supposed to admit something like this?

“But,” he started again, “I like you, Reid. I really like you. This entire time I was chasing the wrong person and following dead leads, like a rookie on a new case. But I realize the only person that makes me feel anything is you- and... I think, I- no. I am. I am falling for you. And I don’t even know if you like guys but-“ It was by this point Spencer put his soup down back on his bedside table, the soft sound shut Derek up easily.

“You’re falling for me?” Spencer asked, just simply clarifying what he had said. Morgan nodded, standing by it. “Yes. I am.”

Spencer breathed out a sigh of relief, something Derek hadn’t expected him to do. “You aren’t stupid... I- um. I’ve been falling for you too.”

That made Derek light up instantly, “You have?” Spencer nodded sheepishly, staring down at his fingernails instead of Derek. “I wasn’t expecting you to...” Spencer mumbled, as if that was a sufficient enough explanation on his part on why he was relieved and surprised.

“It just snuck up on me. I can’t get you out of my head, you’re all I want.” Derek admitted, more brashly than he would’ve liked to phrased things. But that didn’t seem to bother Spencer at all, as he started to lean forward slowly, Derek leaned forward too, reaching up to put his hand on the side of Spencer’s face to help him stay steady. Their lips were inches apart, but Spencer spoke. “Derek, I want to kiss you so bad. But if I’m sick I don’t want to risk infecting you-“

“Pretty boy, I’m breathing your air already. And I don’t think you have the flu, just low blood sugar.” Derek told him, which quickly shushed Reid up. They leaned forward more, and all the feelings of angst and dread that had built up between the two disintegrated as their lips touched slowly.

It was a soft kiss, a chaste one. But there definitely was passion behind it. Morgan stayed close to Spencer, resting his forehead against his.

“I belong with you...” Derek mumbled, he didn’t care if Spencer heard it anymore. He should hear it, he deserved to hear it. He deserved to know he was the only one Derek wanted.

Spencer pulled back, a small smile playing on his lips the entire time. “I can’t believe it...” he mumbled to Derek after a moment. “You should. You said it yourself, I belong with someone better. And it’s you. I just hope you agree.” Derek told him honestly, not leaving anything he said to chance. Spencer nodded, “Yes- you belong with me. Absolutely, yes. I agree.”

Derek smiled, pushing a loose strand of hair back behind spencer’s ear, before leaning forward and planting a soft kiss on Spencer’s forehead. “You eat that soup, I’ll go get you some more water.”

———————————————————————

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thoughts-on-bangtan · 4 years

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I feel bad for JK. He's the jealous BF in every pairing. I say support who you want, but if JM came out tomorrow and said come out of your imagination about Vmin (The way V did about TK) or V went on camera saying his and JM's relationship was awkward (The way JK did about V), I would pack it up. Yet Tkrs continue to disrespect Tae and JK. Sometimes JKrs too cause they also cast JK as the jealous, insecure boyfriend. Too bad, neither group sees One half of their ships are in love with each other

This turned into a bit of a rant, I hope you don’t mind...

Leaving aside my opinions on T*ak*ok and J*k*ok as “romantic ships” and focusing just on the actual people, or more specifically on Jungkook (as well as those who use him for their ships in toxic manners), I very much agree.

Jungkook is a good person, a kindhearted one at that, he works incredibly hard, he’s incredibly hard on himself, holds himself to a sky high standard, and is a perfectionist at that, he tries his best regardless of what it is he’s doing, his heart is so big, pure and filled with love not only for his hyungs but also for ARMY, even though some have done him incredibly dirty in the past, and others continue to do so to this day and chances are they likely won’t stop any time soon. Jungkook is also a romantic, someone who believes he will hear bells when he’ll meet/look at the person he’s destined to be with/his one true love, someone who wrote Still With You for ARMY and tried his best to convey his emotions just right, who even has the word tattooed on his hand, is someone who’s sensitive to smells, likes doing laundry and snuggles against his hyungs when he’s cold. He cried and was inconsolable when Hobi temporarily left Bangtan, recorded a song cover in 30 minutes simply because Namjoon said the song would fit his voice, and he painted a pretty painting for Hobi simply because he asked him for it.

Remember when Jungkook was a guest on Yoongi’s ‘radio’ in May 2020? How nervous he was and how he felt the need to explain himself and apologize to ARMY for potentially having upset us, even though, realistically, there was nothing really there for what he would have to apologize and with how some were quick to throw him under the bus (again), if anyone should’ve apologized, it would’ve been those people. To this day Jungkook continues to rarely be on social media, rarely posts a selca and goes on vlive even less, and honestly, I completely understand him. I would do the same, though I won’t pretend that I know his exact reasoning.

Like you said, there is a large portion of shippers (not all of them, of course, but I’m specifically talking about the bad ones here, and my opinions on these shippers have no connection whatsoever with my opinions on and love for the maknaes and their bonds, just so we’re clear) who have created this alternative reality version of him which shares no resemblance with who he actually is beyond the name and body. Somehow, they’ve created this jealous, possessive and toxic version of him that constantly feels the need to mark his territory, gets angry and has controlling tendencies toward either Jimin or Tae (oddly enough I haven’t seen that happen as much when he’s shipped with a member of the hyung line), depending on which camp you ask. How long did it take for “JK was so jealous” analysis videos to appear after RUN episode 128 and that moment of Tae kissing Seokjin’s cheek? An hour, two?

And if that’s not what they are doing, they overs*xualize him to the point where it just feels gross and so dehumanizing it crosses every imaginable line. Or they infantilize him as though he were still the teenage boy we got to know when they debuted 7.5 years ago, which is especially ironic and weird when the people who do this are younger than him.

Of course this isn’t just an issue with Jungkook, it’s something that happens with all three of the maknaes, but I feel like it happens a little differently (or manifests itself differently) for each one of them, and Jungkook, being involved in both of the main big ships, basically has it worst. He isn’t treated as someone they love or admire, not because he’s part of their ship but because of his talents and other qualities as idol and human being, but as basically a human Sim that shippers project their own fantasies onto. They lack respect and the bare minimum of human decency. They don’t care about him as person, barely care about his music if they can’t find a way to connect it to their ship, they just want him to look pretty and act accordingly so they can continue living their shipper lives and search for “proof”, even if sometimes that means twisting reality, ignoring context, and making someone out of Jungkook who he really is not.

And honestly, just like you, if Tae or Jimin would come online and say “get out of your imagination” about vmin, I would accept that immediately and move on. Sure, I’d be a little sad and surprised, but I wouldn’t look for ways to twist their words to create some kind of false deniability of their statement, wouldn’t try to find some kind of loophole that would allow me to ignore their words and continue doing what we do. But, unfortunately, many don’t think that way. Clearly.

At some point, I think, some have forgotten why we are here in the first place, as well as the fact that Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung are actual living, breathing human beings, and not fictional characters. We are here, first and foremost, for their music, since that’s what got us interested in them in the first place, right? Or at least that’s how it should be, though I know visual stans are a thing, and apparently shipping stans also seem to be a thing that exists. And sure, shipping is fun, having a pair you particularly like together for one reason or another, because you think there might actually be something there, like we do as vminnies, or because you simply like their dynamic, but the moment your entire existence as ARMY is merely revolving around your ship and finding ways to prove, against all logic and contextual evidence, that they are real, even if it means disrespecting the people that are part of your ship, as well as the other five people in the group they love more than anyone, that’s when you’ve gone too far. Way too far.

We know how much Jungkook loves the members, how much he respects them, and we know he had a bit of an awkward rough patch (at least partially) with Tae, since they told us about that, and he enjoys spending time and being silly with Jimin, and yet ship camp one and two have no issue disrespecting, belittling, badmouthing and erasing his friendships with either of them, or basically flat out calling him a liar (or a BH controlled puppet with no free will or ability to speak out when he doesn’t like something) because what he said about his friendship with Tae doesn’t fit their agenda.

Jungkook is basically stripped of all agency, humanity, free will, and everything else that makes him a person, an idol, and just an extremely talented and kind individual. They even try to take away his name despite the well-known fact that Koreans don’t change last names. It’s upsetting, unsettling, and wrong on every possible level.

I couldn’t care less which BTS duo others ship, I’m not the kind of person who will go and try to convince others that I’m right and they are wrong because, for all we know, we could all be wrong, but I think the least anyone in the shipping world can do is have enough restraint and humanity in them to show a bare minimum of respect for the people they ship and treat them like human beings, not Sims or dolls. Especially since we know the members are aware of all of this to some degree because there is no way they didn’t notice all the comments during vlives across the years, didn’t notice the videos on YouTube (we know Jungkook looks up reaction videos etc), and didn’t notice the posts on Weverse, after all we had Tae tell off a shipper.

All I really wish for is for people to see and treat Jungkook as the good, kind, intelligent and talented person he is. Ship him with whoever you want, that’s none of my business, but please respect him and see him for who he is, not who you’d want him to be so there would be more drama to theorize about. It’s the least he deserves. It’s the least all of them do.

#answered ask #answered ask by admin 1 #Jungkook #BTS

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stereksecretsanta · 4 years

Text

Merry Christmas, goddess47!

For @goddess47 <3

*****

Stiles would like to say, very clearly, that it really wasn’t his fault this time. He had just been running through the preserve, minding his own business, when suddenly he was passing through a mirage spell into a very tense negotiation between some hunters and the Seelie court. To say he was surprised was an understatement. To say he was prepared for the unexpected would be true, but this was even more unexpected than he was used to. And he had been thrust into the supernatural world at sixteen with a bat and a prayer. Regardless, he hadn’t meant to become a mediator to a truce negotiation. He especially hadn’t meant to look over the contract, find a few problems on both sides, re-negotiate the contract for the better of both groups, identify a rouge hunter, and save the Seelie queen all before dinner. The fact that the negotiations closed with the fairy queen promising him that his thank you gift would only begin to pay him the debt he was owed, convinced Stiles of two things. The first was that the supernatural were entirely too dramatic, the second was that Derek was never going to let him run by himself again.

Stiles figured that some mild avoidance, and extensive procrastination, could perhaps keep the inevitable lecture to a minimum, if the whole thing was revealed in a calm manner and the thank you gift promised was reasonable, small and easily hidden. This whole plan went immediately out the window the second Stiles emerged from his shower to find a very shiny, very new, very small child sitting on the couch of his apartment. Stiles was pretty sure that the Seelie queen had gotten him a very real little girl as a thank you gift. She was definitely not small, easily hidden nor reasonable.

Stiles also wasn’t sure how the Seelie queen had gotten past his wards, but he hoped that no one had poked around while he was in the shower, there were some very dangerous magical objects in the office space that Stiles did not want to have to track down again. Nonetheless, the appearance of a child meant that Stiles needed backup, and he was pretty sure he shouldn’t leave the child alone in the apartment. So, keeping one keen eye on the kid, who simply waved at him, Stiles pulled his phone out and called Derek.

As phone conversations go, this one was relatively short. It started with Stiles saying hello, claiming that absolutely everything was fine, but that a stranger was sitting in his apartment and suddenly Stiles was hearing a knock on his door. The benefits of your pack alpha owning the building and living directly below you was exceedingly convenient. It does sometimes, however, lead to these types of overreactions. Stiles was pretty sure the child wasn’t a danger to him, or Derek.

Derek immediately placed himself between the child and Stiles, which only caused Stiles to roll his eyes. Magically appearing or not, the girl couldn’t have been older than three and was currently sucking her thumb. In response to Derek flashing his eyes, she grinned and flashed her own, so Stiles at least had that narrowed down. At least the local wolf pack was the appropriate channels for a randomly appearing werewolf child. Though now that he thought about it, he probably should call his Dad, in case there was a missing child report. In all of his musings, Stiles had apparently missed Derek introducing himself because Derek was now picking up a small child and having her nuzzle into his chest. Stiles thinks he heard her murmur “Alpha” in a near sub-vocal purr and Stiles was pretty sure that Derek had just adopted a small child literally in front of his eyes.

And, quite frankly, he didn’t have enough sleep for this.

By the time the Sheriff had arrived, without any news of any missing children, Stiles was making a child friendly lunch while Derek entertained, and interrogated, the magic child. So far, they had gotten that her name was Rieka, she was three and she didn’t know where she was from. It hadn’t been a very successful interrogation. The rest of the pack was coming over soon and they would figure out where she came from, reunite her to some very worried parents and all would be well. Stiles was sure of it. He appreciated that the Seelie queen wanted to thank him, but he wasn’t entirely sure that stealing a child was a good present. He really hoped that he didn’t get arrested for kidnapping.

It had been three days and they hadn’t found anything else about Rieka. She spoke, but slowly and only with a lot of coaxing. Deaton was no help, which wasn’t very unusual, and Stiles’ own contacts were no help, which was, actually, very unusual. No one had ever dealt with the Seelie queen before, she was notoriously difficult to find, and no one had heard of a little werewolf cub going missing. Derek, had, in fact, lectured him for getting involved with the Seelie court, but his stern lecture was significantly less intimidating as he was being used as a climbing tree by a very energetic little girl.

By the end of the first week, Stiles knew he was in trouble. He and Derek had fallen into a pretty quick co-parenting routine. With Stiles’ consulting business and Derek’s real estate business, they were both very capable of working from home, and had become quite domestic co-parents. Derek’s guest room was converted into a little girls room, that even in a few short days had become littered with stuffed animals and glitter in ways that Stiles was never going to be able to un-see. Stiles was starting to get worried about what they were going to do if they never found her parents, because co-parenting a little girl with your crush of seven years was not easy. Especially because Derek was so good with her. So unbelievably, entirely understandably, patient with her. Her reticent speech spoke to Derek’s soul and Stiles found himself watching the pair with fondness more often than not. Which may or may not have required him to restart at least one potion.

He found himself falling more and more in love with the Derek who was willing to play dress up and roll around on the carpet with a little girl. It was another facet of himself that Derek was always trying to hide, worried that any vulnerability would be turned against him, any weak spot exploited for someone else’s gain. Even years of therapy hadn’t quite gotten Derek to let that fear go. But here, in this little apartment with Rieka demanding that he play the pretty princess so that she can be the dragon, Stiles got a snippet of what his life could be like, what their life could be like, and it hurt. Because he knew, deep down, that he wasn’t ever going to get to keep this. And yet even as he thought that Derek met his eyes across the room. Plastic crown barely clinging to his hair, little girl climbing to his shoulders and Stiles decided to let himself pretend, even for a moment. He could mope when Rieka was gone, but for now he would enjoy this window into a life he never knew he so desperately wanted.

Three weeks in Stiles started talking to his dad about fostering and adoption papers. He worried about how a long-term co-parenting situation would worsen his crush, but also figured that he was in full blown “I will always love you” mode anyway.

Stiles and Derek talked about turning their two apartments into a single apartment after two months. They argued about where the bedrooms would be, with Stiles desperate to maintain a lockable room for his magical supplies. But even with converting Stiles’ living room into a bedroom, three bedrooms and a magic room simple wouldn’t fit on the second floor. The fight escalated to the point in which they decided that an architect would have to make the final call.

Three months in everything came crashing down for Stiles. He felt like he was watching a train crash in slow motion, all the careful pieces of his future with Derek falling around him. An old contact had found a way to contact the Seelie queen, and Stiles felt the horror flash across his face, felt himself close off and watched Derek mirror him, even as he didn’t know why. Somewhere, far in the recess of his mind, Stiles knew that returning Rieka was the right thing to do, but at that moment he was gutted. He had really let himself believe that he could keep this little girl, keep his little make-believe family together.

The Seelie queen came quickly. Very quickly, in fact. No sooner had Stiles burned his note then she was standing there in the middle of his apartment. Derek was clinging to Rieka as if she would disappear, and Stiles’ heart broke a little more. Because the queen could do that, she could take their little girl away from them.

By the end of the conversation Stiles was exhausted, the Seelie queen saw past, present and future simultaneously which made having a conversation very difficult. Add in assumptions made on both sides, and the whole thing was a mess. On the bright side, apparently, they will become very good friends? Stiles wasn’t entirely sure exactly what had happened, but he did know this. The conversation started with a few stuttering sentences from Stiles that led the Seelie queen to think Stiles wanted to return his gift. She was very offended and offered to change the gift. She was entirely sure she had explained everything upfront, Stiles was very sure she had not. It took questions from both Derek and Stiles to understand exactly what happened, but eventually it all came out. She saw what Stiles wanted most and did her best to give it to him. She had simply spliced together parts of Stiles and Derek and created the life in a whimsical form, certain the rest would follow. Despite the nonchalance of the delivery, the complex magic was not at all insignificant. Stiles reassured her several times that they adored the gift and had simply been worried that they couldn’t keep her. Which led them down a whole path of conversation about fairies’ gifts, the Seelie vs Unseelie court and quite frankly Stiles wasn’t even sure what was happening. Two batches of cookies later some guards came to fetch their queen and suddenly everyone was gone. Stiles had a passing thought that his wards were obviously not strong enough before the reality of the situation sunk in.

Stiles was pretty sure that this story should have a twist someplace, some changeling magic, some fairy trick, but, overall, he thinks about how lucky he is. Rieka was theirs. Made of magic and wishes into a real life person, just for them, for as long as they wanted. Derek seemed to have come to the same conclusion at the same time, if the sigh of relief that swung through their apartment was anything to go by. And even though it was only seven o’clock, they both bundled Rieka to bed, overrode her protests with a bedtime story and collapsed on the couch.

Stiles was exhausted. He couldn’t deal with anymore revelations for the day. And as he turned to tell Derek this, to tell Derek that he wasn’t expecting anything from him. That his love was unconditional, and they could keep co-parenting without having to acknowledge how much Stiles loved him. Loved him so much it became true flesh and blood sleeping a few feet away. But as he opened his mouth, ready to spill the lies, he found soft hands framing his face. Stiles is pretty sure he stopped breathing. He had to have died, there was no way that Derek was doing exactly what it seemed like he was doing. And yet, lips found his, and Stiles decided he could, actually, deal with one more revelation, as long as Derek kept doing that. And when he decided to tell Derek this, there was a soft smile and another kiss. And then another one. And one more, just for good luck.

#goddess47

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themonotonysyndrome · 4 years

Text

The Holy Quintet in Twisted Wonderland! (all 7 dorms - Part 2)

Now we have Kyouko’s reaction to the other dorms! Sorry that it took a whole weekend to edit this.

Hope you guys enjoyed it!

Sakura Kyouko & the other dorms (except Savanaclaw)

HEARTSLABYUL!

Bless Sayaka for warning Kyouko in advance about the many, many rules of the Heartslabyul dorm. Riddle’s collar would probably latch on her if the redhead girl walk into the dorm lounge, screaming for Sayaka.

Now, before she was introduced to the seniors of Heartslabyul, Kyouko got to know Ace and Deuce. She easily got along with the two boys since they’re always around Sayaka. It didn’t take long before their trio to become a four member group and they can often be seen goofing off around campus and trouble usually follow after them.

Kyouko loves going along Ace’s crazy plans. After they accidentally destroy a shelf full of potions in the Alchemy lab, Ace immediately suggest they burn down the lab so Divus won’t find out that it was them. Kyouko was ready to use her Soul Gem as a flamethrower if it weren’t for Deuce and Sayaka.

(Expect Kyouko and Ace to be detention buddies, often)

Deuce treats Kyouko just how his Mama raised him to treat any other girls! Though once in a while, he couldn’t help but drop a cauldron on her whenever she and Ace are up to no good. Luckily he and Sayaka are the ‘chiller’ of the duo.

Trey and Cater got to know Kyouko properly only after Riddle’s overblot episode (she wasn’t with them when Sayaka went all out trying to ‘save’ their Dorm Leader). After the ordeal, the two of them were very grateful that Kyouko was no where near Heartslabyul when it happened). Trey is relief that Kyouko took Riddle’s light chatises over how she eats and etc without a fuss, sometimes she would even tease him back. A good thing that Riddle is now more acceptable to friendly affections and interactions from others. Sometimes if Trey is working in the kitchen and Kyouko swings by at Heartslabyul, she’s his food tester and helps out with the more heavy labour when it comes to cooking. Kyouko loves it!

Now, she’s not very big on the whole social media thing so by right, she shouldn’t have anything in common with Cater. But I can see that she loves music apart from food. So learning that Cater is the guitarist and vocalist for the Light Music club got her really interested. She wonders if she can learn to play musical instruments too. As for Cater, well, he’s more than happy to teach her how to play the guitar (even encouraging her to join his club) and they tend to take selfies together.

Seeing that Kyouko is genuine and serious about the Light Music club hurried him to introduce her to Kalim and Lilia. Kalim is more than happy to teach Kyouko what he knows too and Lilia always wanted to know more about Madoka’s friends.

The result? Apparently joining the Light Music club is the first step for Kyouko to actually enjoy being a student for once in her life.

OCTAVINELLE!

Listen, no one could’ve predicted how Kyouko would got herself entangled with the mermafias and the whole Octavinelle dorm, alright?

See, while Kyouko just got out from the cafeteria - her arm holding a paper bag filled with food for herself, Ruggie and Jack back at their dorm - she caught a flash of pink walking by. Oh look, there’s Madoka! Alone and walking to meet up with Silver or Sebek, maybe. It’s so odd to see Madoka alone ever since they came to TW.

Anyway, poor girl was completely oblivious to a 191CM tall boy rushing towards her with a maniacal girl, arms wide open.

Kyouko is a more of ‘beat’em-now-and-think-later’ sort of girl. So please forgive her that the moment she intercepted the eel boy, her spear was already drawn out and proceeded to smacked him away - violently - like a baseball bat. Poor Floyd got the wind absolutely knocked out of him as he crashed to the Main Street.

“What were you planning to do to Madoka, hah!?”

Floyd could only whistle despite the pain flaring on his torso. So one of these pretty girls is super feisty, eh? He’s gonna have so much fun squeezing her!

Let’s just say the two got into a brawl that nearly destroyed the Main Street if it weren’t for Azul and Leona actually coming over and putting a stop to it.

(Leona doesn’t appreciate having to interfere in someone’s else fight, not when their Brawler could give Floyd a run for his madols, but he really had to pulled Kyouko away before Savanaclaw gets in trouble with the headmaster)

(Azul actually can’t believe there’s someone that could beat his tanker. He thought that the other girls would be like Homura and Madoka; cautious yet gentle. Clearly these girls are an odd bunch! He would need to carefully reevaluate his plans involving them now)

From that fight onwards, the two are constantly trying to beat the other once and for all. Floyd is living the life; finally a fun prey! For once, he needed to get creative. Squeezing doesn’t do much, not when Kyouko is just as strong and she could easily stab him with a turn of her large spear. She could dish out whatever attack his ‘Bind the Heart’ retaliate and quick on her feet against his elemental spells.

Kyouko finds Floyd a crazy yet seriously strong student. She has no idea what his problem is, but no way in hell will she back down or show that he unnerved her. Seriously, there’s something wrong with that guy and it’s not just his mood swings. The whole mermafia trio is creepy.

Jade wonders if his twin’s obsession with the Savanaclaw Brawler will end badly. Oh well, since the outcome is still murky, he’s fully planning to enjoy the show.

Jade will smirk whenever Kyouko scrutinised him. Clearly expecting him to behave like Floyd since they’re twins and all. It’s cute how he knew she wants to prod and poke him just to see if he’ll lose his composure and Jade appreciates that she holds herself back every time.

While Floyd went on a very direct approach to ‘befriending’ Kyouko, Jade is a subtle and nothing but polite. Enticing her with the menus of Mostro Lounge, the colourful drinks they served and sweeten his offers with a promise that Floyd won’t try to pick a fight with her if she dines at their café.

(Kyouko eventually caves in on the offer. Won’t you be too if Jade promise to cook you something?)

Azul wishes there’s some way he could properly learn about these girls apart from observing them in classes or their interactions with their dorm mates. After that fight at the Main Street, he underestimates just how much of a threat these girls can be. Especially Kyouko. Fortunately, Jade told him all about his offers and practically everyone in college knows about her love of food so Azul just had to wait.

The third Magical Girl to visit Monstro Lounge after Homura and Madoka’s tense dining experience is Kyouko. Azul is surprise to find her alone. He expects at least one of her friend to accompanied her.

Nevertheless, Azul is quick to muster up his gentleman-like behaviour and silver tongue to try and charm the redhead girl. Or at least get her to trust him a little. Throughout her visit in the café, Kyouko hardly complain about his treatment.

It’s only after she paid that she gets down to it. In a complete 180 turn, she asks Azul why he’s taking her for an idiot. That stumped the Dorm Leader of Octavinelle.

Kyouko didn’t bother to minced words; she told him that prior coming to TW, she lives on the street; never having a home. So she sees a lot of... unsavoury people who try to take advantage of a young girl like her. How the conmen with their honeyed words and parental-like sympathy would want to ‘help’ her. Kyouko knows very well what would happen to naive girls living on the streets. They won’t last a night.

And Azul? Azul is no different from those men the moment he smiled at her. Her words sting the octo-mer more than he would ever admit once Kyouko storms out of Mostro Lounge.

The Leech Twins are even more fascinated by Kyouko now while Azul and Kyouko barely acknowledged each other’s existence.

Kyouko has not step into the cafe ever since.

SCARABIA!

As a favour that she was willing to do for Homura, Kyouko in the end decide to cash it in when it comes to school work. Those History and Summoning classes are tough!

Since the aloof Magical Girl never invite any of the girls to her dorm, Kyouko decided to invite herself, unanounced. She always wanted to know what a dorm in a desert would look like. The sand soon irritates her after a while.

The students all directed Kyouko to a spot in the lounge that they all unofficially dub as Homura’s comfort space. Underneath a tapestry of a beautiful queen famous for her thousand stories, there’s Homura in her little nest.

Kyouko really doesn’t like Homura’s know-it-all attitude but for the sake of her homework, she grits her teeth as Homura explains again for certain subjects. The other students of Scarabia know not to disturb the girls. (words about Kyouko and Floyd’s fight quickly spread throughout college. So seeing her frustrated expression over her books were enough to drive away the Scarabia students).

Except for Kalim, of course.

The moment he and Jalim returned to Scarabia and a passing student mentioned that Homura has a guest, Kalim scurries off to meet up with them. Jamil follows after him in an exasperated pace.

Having gotten used to Kalim’s random, cheerful outbursts, Homura went with the flow as the Dorm Leader introduce himself and let Kyouko talk with him. Seeing that the two were studying, Jamil suggest rather than throwing a feast for Kyouko, why not they study together and Jamil can cook something quick for them to snacked on. That got Kalim and Kyouko on board.

With Kalim and Jamil between them, Kyouko and Homura kept their snark to a minimum level, to the point that Homura would actually smirk when Kyouko regale them of her misadventure with Ace, Deuce and Sayaka. Not long after, Kyouko begrudgingly throw a compliment about Homura, telling the two boys that although she might be stuck-up, Homura does know her stuff.

(Perhaps there’s hope for these two girls)

Kalim totally vibes with Kyouko. He loves how spunky, confident and funny she is! He loves her quick hugs whenever they meet up and always accepts an apple from her. If Kyouko loves to eat, then Kalim can’t wait to cook for her. The next time he throws a party, Kyouko would be one of his guest of honour for sure!

The first time Jamil saw Kyouko sparring with her dorm mates, she instantly reminds him of a scorpion. How she would thrust her spears from behind and he watched as the weapon retracted and pull back so smoothly. Fast and brutal, it fits her.

Compare to Homura, Jamil is internally grateful that Kyouko is such an open book. There’s no hidden meaning underneath her words, no need to feel like he’s squeezing blood out of a stone just to know something about her. As long as she’s not a threat to Kalim, Jamil honestly doesn’t care all that much about Kyouko.

Jamil is so used to cooking for a bunch of people at a drop of a hat because of Kalim and so he’s not too annoyed having to cook for Kyouko whenever she visits Scarabia.

Jamil is also aware that Kyouko and their Scarabia Raven doesn’t have a good relationship but that’s none of his business.

POMEFIORE!

If Heartslabyul was the first dorm that Kyouko is hesitant to visit, Pomefiore is the second.

Unfortunately, Mami wasn’t feeling well that day and it’s up to Kyouko to send over her school notes since they shared most of their classes together.

The moment she steps through the mirror and standing in front of the entrance of Pomefiore, she felt like a prey getting ready to be ambushed.

The pretty boys of Pomefiore whispers how glossy her red hair is; what product does she use? Do you think she’ll share the brand with them? Look at how powerful and confident her posture is, yet you can still see her feminine curves hold nothing back! Some wonders what her beauty and skincare routine are to be able to look so beautiful despite being a student from that roughhousing Savanaclaw.

Kyouko couldn’t help but shiver, her skin crawls when she heard the whispers. The boys are very eager to show her around their dorm but Kyouko awkwardly interrupted them. She’s just here to see Mami to pass her notes! Their insistent to help her out in every little thing creeps her out!

Her saviour came in the form of Epel Felmier. He remembers how awkward he felt after the sorting ceremony when the other Pomefiore students all crowd around him, praising him for his looks. So without hesitation, he slide in and loudly explain that Mami send him to pick her up. Kyouko is grateful for his intervention.

You can bet Kyouko feel something like a bull in a fine china shop the moment they head to Mami’s bedroom. Everything look so shiny... and expensive!

Kyouko help recap what she could remember in class to Mami when she pass along her notes before telling that she doesn’t believe Mami could get sick. Since they became Magical Girls, they rarely became ill. Mami assured her that she overworked herself a little, trying to keep up with classes and training Madoka and Sayaka.

(Yes, Vil had fussed over her when Mami told him this. He gave her a list that she must follow so she could resume her classes soon.)

In a rare gesture of thoughtfulness, Kyouko offer to take over their trainning while Mami rest up. This makes Mami very happy and when she express it, Kyouko scratch her head and look away, muttering that it’s only right.

When she left Mami’s bedroom, Kyouko throws an apple to Epel as thanks for helping her out earlier. This startles the boy and it sparks their friendship. He promises to teach Kyouko how to carved apples when they hang out next time.

Now, Kyouko likes to playfully tease Epel when he told her that he wanted to be sorted into Savanaclaw and that he wanted to grow some muscle. For all her teasings, she does invite him to her and Jack’s work out sessions. It makes him happy so why not? Just don’t tell Vil.

Since Kyouko very rarely visit Pomefiore, Vil and Rook heard of her through Epel and Mami. Vil and her doesn’t see eye-to-eye due to their personalities being on the opposite end of the spectrum. Kyouko absolutely have no patience to be groomed or lecture by Vil and whenever he sees her arm-wrestling with the other boys, Vil just shook his head at the lost of such beauty.

It’s a shame, Vil thinks. Kyouko is beautiful in a way that a ruby with a powerful fire inside is, but she’s just too... all over the place to even listen on how to put on a concealer properly.

Rooks finds her fiery spirit and compassion to her friends beautiful. Like a female warrior from Afterglow Savanna. It doesn’t let him down when Kyouko couldn’t appreciate him reciting a poetry that he wrote for her. At least the girl was kind enough to wait until he was finish before running off.

(Rook heard of the infamous brawl at the Main Street, too. Despite not being a beastmen, perhaps Kyouko is worthy of a hunt!)

IGNIHYDE!

Honestly, Kyouko actually forgot there’s seven dorms instead of six here at NRC. It’s not her fault that it totally slips her mind that Ignihyde exist! She hardly sees any students from that dorm around campus!

According to Ruggie, they’re the odd, shut-in types that rather spend their time with their techs than people. So a dorm full of shut-in nerds in Kyouko’s opinion.

Her opinion on Ignihyde changes when she spotted this tiny, blue robotic thing flitting around the college. The moment she spotted Ortho, her interest and attention is immediately on him.

At first, Kyouko doesn’t know what to make of him as he follows Ortho around curiously. Is he a toy? Some high-tech butler? Who made it?

(Kyouko is no Rook. So Ortho is actually aware that there’s someone been tailing him for a while now, but he lets Kyouko do what she wants, thinking they’re playing some sort of game)

In the end, Kyouko just laugh sheepishly when Ortho confront her, asking what game are they playing? She admits that she has never seen anything like him before back home.

Ortho, off course, wasted no time telling the Magical Girl that his big brother made him, how cool he is, maybe they could all play together and etc. The more Kyouko got to know Ortho, the longer she sense that this boy actually has a soul! This is not a robot, it’s a living person!

Utterly fascinate now (plus Ortho thoroughly charm her with how much he talks about his older brother. Heh, her little sister used to bragged about Kyouko to her little friends too...)

Kyouko and Ortho become friends and despite how rough she can be, she always make sure to treat the boy gently. She won’t admit it, but she loves babysitting him and Cheka, bringing them around campus to play. Sometimes, when she sits on the bench and watch them pick flowers near the garden of Pomefiore, she could see her little sister playing amongst them too.

Idia doesn’t really know all that much about Kyouko other than what he could find from his cameras and the bare-bone information from Homura. She’s strong. She often hangs out with those two boys from Heartslabyul and their Knight. She also possess one hell of an appetite.

So the moment Ortho burst into his bedroom, shouting about befriending the redhead girl, Idia has somewhat mixed feeling about their friendship. 1 - he worries that she would accidentally hurt him (Ortho doesn’t exactly have sturdy frames to withstand the strength of a Savanaclaw student). 2 - he doesn’t think he could handle having another pretty girl hanging around their dorm without wanting to crawl under his bedsheets forever.

He actually let out a relief sigh when Ortho told him that Kyouko won’t barged into Ignihyde if it makes him uncomfortable, but he hopes that Idia could play with them sometimes.

Idia promises that he will try to spend some time with them after Ortho told him how gentle Kyouko treats him and Cheka. How attentive she is to their presence despite looking bored.

In the end, Kyouko finds the Shroud brothers alright in her books. Idia might be the nerdiest of the bunch with a sweetheart of a little brother but she can respect a dude rocking out flames for hair.

(Idia probably self-combut if he knows that Kyouko thinks he’s cool for a nerd)

DIASOMNIA!

After she became a Savanaclaw student, Jack had onced told her that there’s beef between their dorm against Diasomnia. Something about how Diasomnia always beat them during the college’s inter-dorm tournament, yada yada yada. If those students from Diasomnia wanna spar sometime then she’s more than happy to kick their asses.

While walking back to her bedroom, she overheard a tense argument between Sebek and Jack that it suddenly became a point of the two challenging on another.

So an impromptu fight between the first year Savanaclaw and Diasomnia students are scheduled at the stadium on a Saturday night. No one really knows how the first year students kept the event hush-hush from the seniors or teachers but they managed to.

When the day arrive, most of the first year students from every dorm came to watch the fight.

Kyouko & Jack VS Sebek (& some random Diasomnia NPC). Madoka came as well but she doesn’t want to fight unless she absolutely has too and no one in Diasomnia has the heart to push their gentle Fairy.

The fight was brutal as the rounds went on into the night. Heartslabyul students cheer for their friends while having picnics on the bleachers, Scarabia students are trying to use Astrology to predict the winners while working along with the Octavinelle students who are running the bets, some Pomefiore students complain at how barbaric and unnecessary violent these fights are but stick around to take selfies with their friends and a couple of extrovert Ignihyde students are livestreaming the entire thing and doing commentary.

Homura, Sayaka and Mami are seated around Madoka. Sayaka cheer for Kyouko, of course.

When it comes to her fight against Sebek with Jack beside her, she just told him that she’ll handle the nameless Diasomnia NPC and detached her spear to attack.

It was amazing! Kyouko live for the rush and adrenaline of the fight! Looks like they were right - those Diasomnia folks are really strong! But other than strengths, can they keep up with her?

Kyouko knocked the nameless Diasomnia NPC out of the ring just in time to see Sebek raised his Magic Pen to call forth his lightnings. She cast a ward-like dome on Jack. When the smoke cleared, her ward remain standing.

“Sakura-san...”

“I get it, I get it. Beat his ass, Jack. I’ll cover for ya”

It’s almost easy, really. Jack and Sebek are evenly match and Kyouko kept her promise, only lingering away from the fight.

Funny enough, in the end, neither dorm wins when the collision of Jack’s fireball and Sebek’s lightning ray knock them both out of the ring. Even still, the audience cheer and instead of going back to their respective dorms, they actually gathered around and have a mini-party. Even the Pomefiore students were having fun.

With good food and drinks, the tension between Diasomnia and Savanaclaw disappear eventually. At least for tonight.

(the headmaster blows it when it was reported that the stadium is totally trashed. After that, news about that fight spread because of the livestreams. As punishment, the Savanaclaw and Diasomnia are tasked to fix the stadium. Much to the surprise of Leona and Malleus who were supervising the whole thing, their dorm mates are laughing and playfully shoving each other on the shoulders as they fix around the field.)

Malleus caught Sebek furiously practising with his sword and magic in the training hall of their dorm one day, his knight flustered and explain how masterful Kyouko wields her spear. He caught her deftly strike away every clash of the sword from the nameless NPC without breaking a sweat. It also infuriates Sebek that after knocking her opponent out of the battle, she easily snap her fingers and cast multiple powerful spells to shield Jack from his more deadly attacks.

The way how Kyouko wield her magic and weapon simultaneously without exerting herself had Sebek begrudgingly respect her.

When Madoka invited Malleus to her and Kyouko’s ice-cream trip, Malleus learn a little more about the Savanaclaw Brawler. She’s blunt, brash and doesn’t seem to be put off by him which is good. Though she completely steam-rolled his brooding murmurs. She admits that she doesn’t understand his fascination with gargoyles, but assures him that if they make him happy, then by all means, talk away!

Lilia find the fire of youths’ as well as their bout of recklessness refreshing. They make him feel younger. When he spotted how Kyouko’s charisma boost Madoka’s courage and confidence little by little, Lilia likens Kyouko to a fire that not only burn enemies to ash but is also a hearth that warms one’s home. At least for these young girls.

Like the rest of the students in NRC, Lilia has heard and seen the fight online. Kyouko’s battle was certainly impressive! In fact, it’s a good idea to have Sebek and Silver expand their sparring opponents so they could learn a thing or two. Especially from these girls.

Silver finds the whole secret fight pointless, but since Sebek felt so passionate at the time and it’s be done with, there’s nothing else he could add. He agrees with Lilia; it’d be nice if he could clash his sword against Kyouko’s spear. He finds the weapon’s ability to attached and detached at will fascinating. How does it work? What is its range? How big can Kyouko make them? How many can she summon them at once?

Kyouko agreed to spar with them sometimes if they paid her in food. Silver and Sebek hurried to stop Lilia from rushing to the kitchen when they heard her offer. Although Lilia pouts, the Vice Dorm Leader can easily fulfil their end of the bargain. So whenever they finish sparring, they would all sit down and munch on snacks and drinks.

After sparring for a couple of times, Kyouko finds that Sebek is actually alright. He’s just so loud and can be so passionate when it comes to Malleus. Cue teasing from Kyouko and trying to make Sebek blush whenever they hang out together. As for Silver, well, Kyouko wishes she has his ability to nap whenever and wherever without a care. Lilia is hard for Kyouko to figured out (just like Jade), but she does know that Lilia is genuine with his friendliness so she appreciates that.

All in all, the Diasomnia boys are the morbid sort of weirdness in Kyouko’s opnion, but pretty chill for the most powerful dorm of NRC.

And beside, it’s pretty funny to see them running around their dorm trying to figure out how to do their laundries or where their Dorm Leader is.

Alright, that’s a wrap for Kyouko’s part! Sorry again for the delay. This was supposed to be out in the weekend.

#twisted wonderland #puella magi madoka magica #puella magi holy quintet #Holy Quintet in TW series #crossover

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b-rainlet · 4 years

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Just want to say I love your blog. Your TUA content is lovely and I can't say what a breath of fresh air it is to find another Luther champion. The fandoms treatment of him, istg, some of the most ludacris nonsense I've ever had to read. Especially love how you point out he's ALWAYS been so sweet and selfless when it comes to Allison and her personal happiness. Anyway I saw you say you seem confident alluther will actually happen. I sure hope so, but why do you figure? The antis are so loud.

Awwwww, thank you anon, you’re so sweet! Yeah, this blog is on 24/7 loving Luther lockdown! I feel like the antis are easing up a little bit after S2 aired because most of Luther’s scenes were used as comedic relief and the faves he was clashing with (Diego and Vanya) seem to have a better relationship with him now, so it’s not as bad anymore, but I have to admit I never ever go into the main tag so I can’t be 100% sure.

Maybe you should try looking through the ‘Luther Protection Squad’ tag to find some more like-minded people? I swear there are more of us out there!

But to come to the Alluther question:

I know that the antis are loud and I’ve noticed that most of them have counted S2 as a win for them, talking about how Allison ‘moved on’ and how Alluther won’t happen but I disagree (and I will now launch into a rambly post about why lmao).

WARNING: CONTAINS S2 SALT. PROCEED WITH CAUTION

All of this is based on the assumption though that they will be somewhat consistent in their writing regarding Alluther and S2 taught me that that isn’t very likely, so maybe I’m completely wrong and Alluther will never ever be mentioned in S3, but based on what happened so far, I could see them as an endgame couple.

I mean in S1 they were a pretty big plot point so I don’t think I have to say anything about that but even though the Alluther scenes have been toned down in S2 they were there.

Let’s see what antis would say about why Alluther won’t happen:

Allison is married

And? Allison has been married before and still mentioned comparing every man she ever loved/dated to Luther. Allison has been married and she has had a kid with another guy and still Alluther was going strong.

Not to mention that the end of this season has made it very clear we won’t see Raymond again.

Raymond (and Sissy) are temporary love interests for this particular season and both of them cannot leave their timeline without majorly fucking things up - at least according to Five, but the whole timetravel rules can change at the drop of a hat - but more importantly, both of them had a talk with their respective lovers about wanting to stay in their timeline.

So unless Allison will return to the 60s (which doesn’t seem likely tbh), Raymond is gone for good.

Raymond was her true love tho! Like Klave!

I don’t think antis actually word it like this but I’ve noticed how all of them hopped onto the Almond train immediately and keep gushing about how good and cute they are and that’s great! You can ship what you wanna ship! But I think a lot of the love for this ship has to do with how it prevents Alluther from happening. If Allison is deeply in love with this wholesome man, she can’t ever like her brother.

But tbh….I didn’t buy Almond. For two people who are happily married they crumble and burn awfully fast.

And tbh, I was thinking about making a post about this so I’m gonna add this rant here but I just wanna preface this with the fact that I don’t hate them and I don’t hate people who ship them, I’m just….using this opportunity to poke some hole into their relationship.

I think it would’ve been more believable if Raymond and Allison would be in the early stages of dating while all of S2 goes down. Think about it.

They are married? After one year? I mean, as far as I know, Allison has been in the 60s for about two years - since Luther was the first one who arrived and he spent 3 years there??? But I am not fact-checking this, so correct me if I’m wrong - so she had time to get used to being there, adjust to having no voice, meet Raymond, fall in love with him and get married to him.

And considering she could already talk again it must’ve have been a while before she started talking to/dating Raymond? I don’t think a wound like that wouldn’t take a while to heal but with this show’s consistency, maybe it did.

I was actually hoping Allison would stay mute for a while longer but alas

So, they got married pretty fast imo, and you could argue that it’s the 60s but

Allison isn’t from the 60s

Allison just got out of a bad marriage. There’s like, a year?? maybe?? between her first marriage and her second one and tbh, I don’t think Allison would get married again so fast, tying herself to someone again almost immediately, especially if you consider what getting married in the 60s means for a woman and her personal freedom (it’s hinted at with Sissy but not with Allison and even though Raymond was probably a good husband who let her have her freedom and her say in things - as we can see with their movement - it’s still the 60s. Women couldn’t earn their own money. They couldn’t even spend any money without having to ask their husband. They were basically property of their husband and I can’t believe Allison would immediately jump back into being married, no matter how nice and good the guy is).

“That just means it’s true love! That’s why their marriage may seem rushed!”

Yeah true love. I also keep secrets from my true love.

I mean, I understand that Allison couldn’t start talking about time travel or Raymond would’ve started thinking she’s crazy or something - and maybe would’ve sent her to a mental institution as is his right as a husband, so good idea getting married! - but she didn’t mention stuff like “I had a child.” or “I lost my family.” either and those are vague enough to not raise questions.

I mean, she could’ve lied! She could’ve said Claire is dead, which considering the apocalypse was what they were escaping is true!

She could’ve talked about how she had a family, but they kinda lost each other - maybe talking about how they all moved away and she doesn’t know where they are now, even though she misses them terribly.

I mean, I simply can’t believe that she had to grief for her own child all on her own and she didn’t even tell her husband (and she couldn’t even properly be sad about it since Raymond and her lived together, so she probably didn’t have many moments where she could think about the future and the things she lost without the possibility of being walked in on).

And how much it would’ve meant if there would’ve been a scene of her crying over Claire when she thinks she’s alone, but alas.

Then there’s also the whole added drama to their relationship. Which was btw, so unnecessary.

@showwriters: Why do you establish a relationship you obviously want to be viewed as full of love and instead of letting it be the steady rock the character can lean on during all the already ongoing chaos, you add drama to it and let it fall apart as a side plot which immensely suffers from not being shown/explored enough.

I mean, we already have relationship drama with Vanya/Sissy and that relationship feels more natural because their obstacles are outside forces and not...one of them distrusting the other.

You know, I get why Raymond is suspicious, I totally do! I just don’t think it makes the relationship believable.

Once again, if they would’ve been in the early stages of dating and suddenly Allison’s weird brothers appear and she seems to be in cahoots with the cops, I would also think ‘???’ and it would’ve made perfect sense for Raymond to be confused and distrustful and not want to talk to Allison.

But they’re married. They’re married and they vowed to love each other in sickness and in health and yet Raymond immediately jumps to ‘Allison is a spy’.

The woman you love enough to marry. That’s your first thought. Okay.

(And if you wanna compare that to Vissy...Vanya suddenly drives off in the night to meet her family and disappears for a while and she apparently did something to Harlan and now he’s behaving weirdly and has powers….and she’s talking about taking Sissy and him to the future…..and yet….Sissy trusted Vanya).

And tbh, I was done with their whole relationship the moment Allison spent the whole night calling every single hospital, trying to find out whether her husband was in one of them - was even alive - in tears and close to breaking down because the last time she saw him they were both involved in a riot and the possibility of him being in jail or hurt is very high only to find out…..

…..he had a meeting with their group without telling her because he doesn’t trust her.

And what? He couldn’t have called her to at least tell her he’s okay and he’s gonna stay somewhere else overnight because shady shit did just go down that they need to discuss but he wants to be alone for now? That’s the bare minimum and yet he doesn’t do that. He doesn’t even call to make sure she is okay since running away doesn’t mean she couldn’t have accidentally been dragged into a brawl and hurt.

Once again: They are married.

So tbh, all I got from this relationship is the feeling that Allison simply didn’t wanna be alone in this new timeline and that isn’t an explicit point against Alluther.

Okay, but….Allison moved on! So she still won’t get with Luther!

Did she? Did she really? I don’t think so. I mean, one of the first things we get from Allison aside from ‘She’s married’ is ‘She looks at the moon so often, her husband notices and gets her a book related to that’.

That’s one of the most blatant ways they could’ve said: ‘She misses Luther.’

And Luther only. Not the whole family, Luther. If they wanted to somehow make this platonic or familial, they wouldn’t have taken the character she is canonly interested in romantically (which she is and has been since S1, no matter what antis say).

I mean, if they only wanted to show ‘She misses her family’ they could’ve added a scene where she listens to the kid next door playing the violin or sees a boy in schoolboy shorts or maybe mistakes someone for Diego or whatever, endless possibilities. But they didn’t.

They made it very clear she misses Luther and I don’t think she had a scene that shows her missing any of her other siblings in such a way (which is btw paralleled by the scene where Luther mistakes someone for Allison, which is also the only scene where he’s shown thinking about one of his siblings to the point he thinks he sees them - as far as I remember).

But that’s probably only a coincidence, right?

Then there’s them meeting for the first time. I mean, they hug and the rest of the world disappears.

They took the time to shoot/cut this scene in a way that, when Allison and Luther hug after years of not seeing each other, everyone else isn’t in the shot anymore and it’s just them. Because they tried to make this as platonic as possible.

(In comparison, Allison and Diego don’t even hug. And Klaus and Allison do hug and it’s a happy moment but there is no romantic music and it’s more focused on them being happy to see each other and not framed as a romantic scene. I mean, I have no clue regarding things like ‘motifs’ and ‘scenery’ but just watch those two hug scenes back to back and you know what I mean).

Then the scene proceeds and they talk and sit down and Luther mentions her marriage and Allison tries to apologize.

Just think about that. She doesn’t outright apologize but she does try to explain why she got married by saying how hard it was and is only stopped by Luther telling her he’s glad she wasn’t alone.

How….how can you read that as a platonic convo between brother and sister? Just replace Luther with Klaus. Why would she feel the need to explain herself and seems guilty about being married? Is it because it implies she gave up on finding her family? If so, that would be her reaction with every sibling but she is explicitly like this with Luther. She tells Klaus she’s married too, and in that scene it’s definitely a ‘siblings catching up’ moment and it’s a happy moment and she doesn’t seem apologetic about being married.

She is with Luther.

Because they both know that there’s something between them and has been for a long time, to the point that Allison is visibly jealous when Luther has other relationships (his one-night-stand in S1) and this is the second time Allison has turned towards another man instead of waiting for Luther. And that’s why she tries to apologize. That’s why she tries to explain that she couldn’t know whether they - whether Luther - would ever show up, so she tried her best to move on - but she didn’t really, hence the moon scene.

(This is also the scene where Luther could’ve been angry with her - and she probably would’ve thought he’s in the right - since during the days leading up to the apocalypse it seemed like they were slowly working towards being together - even if the kiss never happened, there’s still the phone booth scene which is basically Luther confessing his feelings - and now she once again leaves him standing alone, waiting for her to possibly return to him.

But he isn’t, he just tells her he’s glad that she wasn’t alone. Because he is the actual embodiment of a gentleman and this world doesn’t deserve him).

And this is just what I remember from watching the season once and then not really engaging with it, I can’t understand how antis can see those scenes and come to entirely different conclusions. But I guess, you really only see what you wanna see, huh?

But, but…...Incest is disguting! Even their siblings think so!

They don’t. They really don’t. There’s a gifset on tumblr somewhere compiling the scenes in S1 that show how chill the sibs are with Alluther, but let’s disregard those and just focus on S2 since they changed up a lot from the prior season and antis seem to think S2 was them finally saying ‘No Alluther’.

I guess there’s the hair salon scene where Vanya, Klaus and Allison talk about relationships and Klaus lightly teases Allison for liking Luther.

Now, he mentions Allison crushing on their brother in the same sentence where he talks about Vanya and her ‘Farmfrau’ and unless I missed it, he doesn’t change his voice. He doesn’t suddenly sound completely disgusted, or like he wants to vomit or whatever people think, so either, he thinks Vissy is as ‘disgusting’ as Alluther, or, he thinks both are simply relationships his sibs are interested in pursuing and he teases them about them like a sibling may do.

And then you have Allison’s reaction.

She doesn’t go: ‘Oh yeah, that was gross, what was I thinking’, she doesn’t make a face or disgusted noises or what, no, she tries to defend herself and her feelings.

Which tells us:

Despite popular belief to disregard Allison’s say in the Alluther relationship, she wants the relationship and she is obvious enough about it their siblings know (and Klaus makes it a point to say ‘Allison is into Luther’ and not ‘Luther likes Allison and Allison tolerates it).

Alluther is brought up while they talk about current relationships, implying Allison still feels this way (especially because the way she reacts doesn’t make it seem like it’s a long over relationship with no longer relevant feelings. But again, I watched the season once and I don’t remember everything that was said. I think this is telling enough though).

So..tell me again how everyone thinks Alluther is disgusting?

By now anon is thinking: ‘What is the point of all this rambling?’

And yeah, I am sorry for going way too into detail but I just wanted to make it clear that if the writers were intend on killing Alluther off in S2 - like antis believe - then everything I just mentioned wouldn’t have happened.

(And that’s without even mentioning the cpr scene).

Alluther did get reduced but it didn’t vanish even though they decided to completely erase other things (like Claire and Eudora who are barely or not at all mentioned or things like Kliego being very close).

This would’ve been the best opportunity! They re-meet in the 60s and Allison is happily married and takes the time to tell Luther he should move on. Or both are single and Luther tries to ask where they’re standing and whether she would like to try with him and she goes ‘This would be a mistake’ and that’s it.

(I am making Allison the one who ends things because it would be ooc for Luther to just end the possible relationship after waiting for Allison for years and there needs to be some consistency even in the mess that was S2).

But! This didn’t happen!

Alluther is more or less back where it was in S1. Allison isn’t in a relationship anymore and won’t get back with the guy and Luther loves her no matter what. And the cheek kiss seems to leave them both on a hopeful note of finally getting together.

So unless they use S3 to once again redo the show, it feels like Alluther is set up to be endgame. Like, I am getting ‘star-crossed lovers’ vibes where you’re just waiting for them to finally get together - because they just belong - but things keep getting in the way.

You could compare it Diego/Lila in that regard, I think it’s pretty obvious those two are gonna end up together too.

I have another ask about how they could get together, where I will definitely ramble more, but this shall be it for now. I hope it was halfway consistent. (And doesn’t have too many typos, I’m too lazy to check).

Also the formatting is shit but idc, I spent like two hours on this

#Alluther #tua s2 spoilers #anti tua s2 #Long post

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cowboisadness · 4 years

Text

Hang ‘Em High {Arthur Morgan x FemOC} Chapter 6

Pairing: Arthur Morgan x FemOC Summery: Belle Hawthorne is high society looking to escape her mean husband. A robbery by the Van Der Linde gang could be her chance. Can she escape his cluches and possibly discover what love should feel like?

Warnings: Animal death, mentions of domestic assault and abortion.

AN: This is a long one, hope you enjoy :)

. . . . . A few days had passed in the camp, many were busy either around camp or out on jobs to bring in money. Mary-Beth and Tilly explained to me what the jobs would entail, most of the time putting themselves in serious danger. Having enough to get by wasn't enough, especially for Dutch, occasionally giving smooth worded speeches to everyone like he was the Mayor of a grand town. He wanted more money, a lot of it for everyone to live a life of luxury. Arthur had recently returned from Strawberry to rescue a member of the gang i had not yet met, but had been warned about. Apparently the rescue mission didn't go as smoothly as planned. Arthur aimed to get him out of jail and out of Strawberry with minimum confrontation. The other guy had different plans. As I sat on my bedrole in my small tent stitching one of his shirts, the very man I'd been warned about approached.“I’m almost done with your shirt Micah.” i smiled politely at him, not wanting to get on his bad side from the get go but hoping to stay cautious while around him.He leaned against the tree beside my tent, lighting a cigarette as he did so.“So where did they pick you up from?” He looked towards me and it was then I realised everything he might say would be laced with venom. “Saint Denis. More of a rescue than a pick up.” I returned my attention to the task in hand. He blew out a cloud of smoke in my direction, the smell of cheap tobacco filling my nose. It was his way to invade my space without being too forward. I wouldn't let it bother me, what with the many social gatherings that involved being in rooms filled with smoke and smoking myself on those occasions. He let out a breath, a sigh, before pushing himself off the tree and walking away, but not before muttering words he still made sure I could hear. “Another deadweight to feed.” All I could do was chuckle to myself, cutting the thread in my hand with a knife. Deciding that he didn't deserve my effort to achieve perfection. By late evening I joined the others around the campfire, sitting next to Charles and Karen, the former handed me a freshly opened beer bottle. I was so used to expensive French wine, chilled in an ice bucket. I've gotten used to so much these last few weeks, living in the wild. The thought before would scare me half to death but I soon found it was different with a sense of family around you. Growing up i was taught the life of a gang of outlaws was a brutal one, the men being fueled and finding joy in murder, rape and theift, nothing more than monsters that have no care for anything other than themselves. I was never told that sometimes they could be people out of luck, born and raised without security and certainty, needing to do what they could to get by with the hope that they could one day, live without worrying when their next meal could be. These people around me all have terrible backstories and that's what brought them together, with the hopes of a better future as long as they fight for it together, even if that meant doing bad things.

I was the opposite, my life was paved out for me from the day I was born. To learn to be a loving and doting wife and mother. We never had to worry about our next meal, always knowing it would be fresh and grand. I was also lucky that my father wanted to teach me some of what he would teach my two older brothers, mainly hunting and how to care for our horses. I was so lucky, I was privileged. Javier brought out his guitar and started singing in his native tongue, some of us swaying to the tune. I heard of Charles and Arthur going out to hunt tomorrow, this was my chase to ask to join with them.I turned my attention to Charles, tapping him lightly on the arm for his attention to turn to me. “Everything okay Bella?” “I heard you and Arthur are going on a hunt tomorrow.” “We are. At first light. You wanting anything in particular?” “Is it possible that I join you both? I know how to use a bow, father taught me and it’s...it’s been a while...i’d love to hunt again.” I looked at him with pleading eyes as he took a swig from his bottle before turning to me with a soft smile. “Of course, always happy to have someone else along that knows what they are doing.” I couldn't play down my happiness, grinning from ear to ear and professing my thanks to Charles. I sipped the rest of my warm beer before saying my goodnights to the ones remaining around the fire and to Charles that I'll see him at first light. I tried my best to prevent a skip in my step as I made my way to my bedroll, excited for sleep and the day ahead. ….. The sun was barely making an appearance when I woke, stretching out my limbs before readying myself for the day, thankful to Sadie for offering me a pair of her pants she didn't want. Not only was I able to get out and do something I enjoyed, being amongst nature, but I was able to do something to help the camp other than repairing clothes and washing dishes. Making my way over to the coffee pot I saw Arthur was already there, sitting on a log near the now burnt out fire, coffee in hand. “Morning” He jumped slightly and turned to me, watching as I poured myself a hot cup. “You're up earlier than usual.” He turned his attention back to his cup as I sat beside him. “I’m coming hunting with you...and what do you mean earlier than usual? You been watching me Mr Morgan?” I took a sip, Arthur spluttered his, seemingly trying not to choke on the burning liquid. “What?...no...just...i'm usually first awake is all.” I smiled in my cup, hopefully hiding my slight giggle. A man of his size and how intimidating he can seem, he sure can get flustered easily, his cheeks turning a muted shade of pink. It was fun. We finished our coffee and made our way over to Charles and the horses, getting them saddled up. “You feel well enough to ride yourself Bella?” Charles asked, tightening the saddles girth so it fit snugly but comfortably around the horse. “I'm sure I'll be fine…” I looked over to Arthur, grinning “...I won't be falling off anytime soon.” “Take Johns horse, he won't be needing her today.” Arthur pointed over to the horse mentioned and I made my way over to sadde her. .….. The ride out into the heartlands towards Cumberland Forest was pleasant, the morning sun warming the earth and birds filling the air with their song. It was peaceful,the most peaceful I've felt in a long while. Still nothing of the attempted robbery or information about my disappearance had been read or heard of. Maybe Arthur was right, maybe Frank didn't care that i was gone, maybe he thought i was dead. I hope he did. We made it to the spot at Cumberland Forest and hitched the horses within the outskirts, hidden from view. Arthur let me use his bow, saying he was better with a rifle anyway. The three of us walked further into the forest, making sure to keep an eye and ear out for bears that roam the area. “Why don't we split up?” Charles suggested in a hushed toned as to not to disturb the surrounding wildlife. “Sure. Bella can come with me, might not need to use the rifle if she don't miss.” Arthur smirked. My expression one of mock disgust and punching him lightly in the arm. Granted I might be a bit rusty, it had been a couple of years since I hunted or even held a bow, but I'm sure once I get my mind focused it will be like second nature. Another thing I hope for. Charles moved further into the forest, me and Arthur moving closer to the Dakota river. The forest was tranquil and busy at the same time, the smell of pine and aspen filling my nose, the intense gaze of the sun being softened by the green blanket above, lighting everything in an orange hue. Any light that broke through the leaves lighting up in patches on the ground, able to see the suns daily path across the dirt from the sections of thick grass and various plants. Songbirds and sparrows weaving through the labyrinth of branches, hunting for bugs and seeds as they sang their love songs. For a moment it felt like we were the only people in existence as we walked in a comfortable silence. As we neared the river Arthur lifted his hand for attention then pointed ahead. Two whitetail deers drinking from the river. We crouched down, keeping out steps slow and light as we neared them. Once we stopped Aarthur looked to me, giving a nod for me to take my aim. I nocked the arrow, drawing it till the string resisted, keeping my chin low and feet steady, Arthur giving a soft whistle to get their attention. Two breaths and releasing on the exhale, the arrow flew to the mark, hitting the deer through its right eye, killing it instantly. I breathed in a huff of triumph as Arthur smiled at my glee. We made our way over, Arthur pulling on the animal readying to lift it. “Maybe i didn't need the rifle.” “Didn't trust me?” we smirked at each other, both pleased that we got a kill so soon. Arthur whistled for his horse as I gazed out at the river, hoping to see another distracted deer. He wrapped the animal in rope and secured it onto the back of his horse but we soon realised we were not paying proper attention to our surroundings as we should have. A guttural roar came from the thick forest behind us, too close for comfort. Before we had any time to react a mass of fur and teeth was bounding out of the treeline towards us, its black eyes trained on me. Fight or flight instincts kicked in, my legs pushing my back into a run, tripping over a river rock as I turned, planting straight into the river. I knew I couldn't get up quick enough, legs still pushing me backwards but failing to get traction, arms stretching out in front of my face like I could stop the beast with my own hands. Just as it was above me, staring down the cavern that was a throat, a crack of thunder rang out in my ears, echoing into the distance. The beast above me ceased and dropped on my legs, red splattered on my pants, shirt and no doubt my face.I looked at the stilled bear with wide eyes and then over to Arthur, rife in hand. My breathing steadying as I came down from the shock of what just happened and pushing the animal off me to stand. “Maybe you did need that rifle.” i giggled, looking towards Arthur, his eyes full of concern but a smile creeping on his face at my attempt to bring humor to the situation. I wasn't just covered in bear blood but soaked from landing in the river. I tried to shake off what I could and wring out the water from my shirt. Arthur walked over holding out a dry shirt for me to take. “I always carry fresh on my horse. Better than being soaked through completely.” I took the shirt and muttered a thanks, making my way out of the river and onto dry land, Arthur making a start on skinning the bear and whistling over Johns horse . The cold breeze hit my wet skin, making me shiver so I wasted no time in removing my drenched shirt, peaking over my shoulder to make sure he was distracted before also removing my camisole, now bare from the waist up. Pain shot up my side due to my hurried pace, letting out a quiet gasp, looking down at the still present bruise on my ribs, less angry, but persistent nonetheless. “There's trees right there y’ know.” My moment of pain must have caught his attention. Embarrassment flushed to my cheeks and I quickly pulled on his shirt and buttoned it up. It buried my small frame, stopping mid thigh, and it smelled like him, the faint hint of tobacco and gunpowder. “Scared.” “Why?” “Bears.” He huffed a laugh, lifting the bear hide and stowing it on johns horse. Both of us mounted up and started making our way to Charles' horse, silently deciding that was enough hunting for us today.Once there we built a campfire and I sat as close to it as comfortably possible, drying off my pants and sharing some fresh bear meat between us. We both were lost in thought, sitting in silence across from each other as we ate. I decided to break the silence with another request.

“Teach me to shoot properly?” it came out as both a demand and a question.He just looked at me while he chewed on the meat, the flames dancing over his face.“Father taught me how to handle a pistol, but i want to be sure i can protect myself...against bears...and people.” “You never went hunting after bein’ married?” I shook my head and sighed, looking down at the unfinished meat in my hands. “No. Frank wouldn't allow it. He would say the only things women are for are cooking, breeding and fucking.” “The more I learn about him, the more I wish I'd shot the bastard.” The anger in his tone was evident and with no hint of doubt. We sat in silence, the midday sun now high in the sky. He seemed to be lost in thought for a while before opening his mouth wanting to say something before changing his mind. I looked to him expectedly, wanting him to say what he wanted. His eyes locked with mine, knowing I was giving my permission to speak his thoughts.After a brief moment of silence, he finally broke it. “I...those...those scars ya have. They from him too?” So he did see. I hummed in response before giving him a proper answer. “My broken ribs weren’t from falling off your horse either. A lesson for flirting with the bastard on the balcony.” “Jesus” “He was so kind when we first met before getting married, always sending me gifts, flowers, jewelry. Written love letters and saying that he was building a stable at our future home, a homecoming gift for his sweetheart…” Arthur didn't speak as I paused, instead standing to retrieve something from his saddlebag before making his way around the fire to sit beside me, handing me a bottle of Bourbon. I smiled as I took it, opening it and taking a few gracious gulps, feeling the burning sensation trickle down my throat. “...He gradually changed after only being married for a few weeks. Dictating what i could wear and what hobbies i could indulge in, preventing me from seeing or talking to my childhood friends. Then the beatings would start getting worse... the assaults...eventually i couldn't sleep out of fear of what was to come when sharing a bed with him.” I took in a shaky breath, willing my tears not to breach. “Couldn't ya have returned to ya parents?” I shook my head before taking another swig and handing the bottle back to him. “I wanted to but...i was married off to him because my parents were struggling with the farmlands after three bad winters. Franks promised financial support in exchange for my hand. He even ceased all contact with them after only a month. I wrote letters to them but I never got one back. I have no idea what happened. Frank knew I wanted to leave so he promised to force a baby into me. That way, I'd have no choice but to stay with him.” I didn't know why i was telling Arthur all this, maybe because i knew it would help to get it off my chest, maybe because i felt like i could trust him. I didn't want pity, I realised, just a listening ear, someone to lend me their comfort for a little while.I hesitated before continuing. Arthur's eyes on me like I was a lost puppy, reaching out my hand for the bottle again he passed it to me without a word. I took another sip for courage, or so I couldn't feel the pain of reliving my horror. “I ended up falling pregnant. When I found out early on, I was more terrified in that moment than I had been in my life. He was elated of course, finally getting what he wanted. I knew he would be a horrible father, knew he wouldn't think twice about lifting his hand to a child. So I decided I couldn't let that happen. Had a doctor visit while he was on an overnight business meeting, some of his practices a known secret amongst many women.” Tears silently flowed as I stared into the growing flames of the fire. A hand placed gently on my knee for comfort and in understanding. “Did...did he find out?” “Told him I lost it. He shot my horse as punishment for being a failure of a woman.” “Bella...I’m sorry” It was barely above a whisper, anything louder and i might shatter like century old glass.He drew circles on my knee with his thumb as I wiped away the fallen tears. I made a silent vow never to cry over that man again, not to let him take up space in my mind. Absentmindedly I leaned into Arthurs touch, his shoulder meeting my temple, breathing in my first steady breath, Arthur wrapping his arm around me.

#hang em high #hang em high fic #arthur morgan #arthur morgan x oc #arthur morgan fic #rdr2 #red dead redemtion 2 #rdr2 fic #fanfiction

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eucanyon · 4 years

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·ﾟ☀ i am so hype to be here nobody gets it and even MORE hype to be bringing my baby boy canyon ....... i already can feel that everyone is absolute chef’s kiss and i cant WAIT to plot w u all ! my name is 𝐭𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐲 , utilizing she / her pronouns and knowing nothing about percy jackson but trying my absolute best . i do prefer dis.cord for plotting so if you’d like to swap users that’d be grand , without further delay ( i googled if it was ado or adieu but apparently it’s all wrong throw the whole phrase away ) below the cut you can read a bit about canyon !

⟨ MASON GOODING. CIS MAN. HE / HIM. ⟩ though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐎𝐍 𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐒 is actually a descendent of ZEUS. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY - TWO year old PRE-LAW from CHICAGO, USA has taken after their godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐃𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 & 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐄 .

— 𝐁𝐈𝐎 .

‘ you gotta work twice as hard to be half as good . you gotta be twice as good to get half the recognition . ’

it’s the earliest phrase he remembers hearing . his grandparents , a duo running the local church services just a block away from their chicago inner city apartment , fill the shoes left by a mother who left her wedlock-born son in the hands of people more capable than she and a father nobody had ever met . his clothes come from the church donation bin and his toys are hand-me-downs from neighborhood kids outgrowing their phases . he pays for football like most of the boys on his team , camped out in front of grocery stores and shopping malls with a bell and a collection bucket with a nervous spiel of “ please help us earn new pads for our football team ” spewing from each child the moment they make eye contact with anyone sympathetic enough to turn their way .

canyon’s held to a higher standard than the neighborhood kids . he comes home before it even starts to turn dark , he has a closet full of perfectly ironed shirts that he tucks neatly into his waistline every sunday morning , he calls anyone that even looks a few years older than him sir or ma’am . he spends afternoons in a rigid schedule : help grandma cook and clean , football practice , homework , and a half hour of television before bed . he gets a choice , if he wants to invite the neighbor’s kids over for that sliver of free time , or keep it to himself . it was a source of embarrassment for him at first , to have a bedtime matching that of his elderly caretakers , but after a certain point , it becomes a source of pride for canyon — he’s lauded by teachers and coaches alike as the best behaved and most respectful ( albeit , also the quietest ) boy of any group he inhabits .

he struggles in school at first , and not simply in the social element . his teachers express concern by his absolute silence , but given that he answers questions and doesn’t cause any issues for them , concerns are brushed off . his handwriting leaves much to be desired and his literacy skills are behind his grade expectations , but he excels when offered oral options for responses and follows logic like a champ . though his grandparents can’t quiet afford a formal tutor , but his teachers offer a bit of informal help in the often time that his grandparents run late to pick him up . they note to his grandmother that canyon is a workhorse , putting in much more work than what is asked for and seeing a steady improvement in his grades due to this . she’ll smile , and canyon will repeat their mantra in his head on the way home .

his mom appears every few months over major holidays , bag of trinkets in tow . canyon quickly learns that ignoring the toys means she’ll talk more to him than about him to his grandparents as if he’s not there , curling up in her lap like a cat vying for her attention . he shoves straight - a report cards and mvp trophies into her hands as long as he can remember , one thanksgiving she comments on his hair getting too long and by christmas he’s gotten it shaved clean . every comment she makes he squeezes for some semblance of recognition , a baby bird screaming out to a blinded parent : ‘ see me , i’m here . see me , if only this once . ’

his father is a forbidden topic in the house and his mother skirts around conversations of him , which bothers canyon , but his community is that of a village - raising mindset . older brothers become mentor figures , uncles become surrogate fathers , grandfathers pass down tokens of wisdom . it seems no household is truly ever without the nurture of a parent figure , and canyon grows up acutely aware of how lucky he has it in his little apartment complex telling the story to himself every night : a mother who loved him enough to give him the life he deserved , a father clearly not worthy of being in the picture . canyon , a boy with the bare minimum , sees it as more than enough .

a pudgy , quiet child following a robotic schedule doesn’t quite inspire the vision of a progeny to the king of the gods . canyon’s only friends are the ones he’s grown up with and the cousins subbing in as the siblings he was never given , his grandmother being perhaps the first person he tells anything to . but he can’t bring himself to open up when his mother begrudgingly confides a secret in him , taking him out for ice cream as an early birthday gift . he has half a mind to let his grandma know she showed up to her visit under the influence , high off whatever would make her deranged enough to tell canyon his father is a shapeshifting greek god who will be reaching out to him to hone his powers in a few days — but he quickly realizes that snitching would mean even less time spent with a mother who already only sees him in minimal increments . as with everything in life , he keeps it to himself , a move that would pay off when he’s approached by perhaps the most terrifyingly imposing man he’s seen in his life at a church service the day before his birthday .

his father is , despite all the obvious flaws , perhaps everything canyon has dreamed of becoming . they talk briefly during the service and make official introductions before he escapes into the day , promising to return and explain more in time . and he does . canyon’s sure to keep to himself who he’s quietly chatting with in the back pews every sunday , but he and his father talk at length in the relative secrecy of hushed voices in a boisterous sermon . the man doesn’t explain much about how he met canyon’s mother , nor what he does in general , but fills in all the gaps left by his mother’s erratic attempt at a conversation . the man buys canyon a new set of cleats for his birthday and notes to him that he can continue to fill in the gaps if he considers spending his summers away . he’ll make it happen , canyon simply has to agree .

and he does . his grandparents are less than thrilled to think that he’ll be away from them for three months and the fact that he’s making a lot of these details up as he goes nearly gets him caught , but his father helps him conceive a ruse so convincing , they’ll be able to leave his grandparents out of the whole demigod conversation .

and it seems almost as soon as he had found something resembling the parents he so longed for , they leave him perhaps more alone than before . his mother is jailed for a sequence of bad decisions and zeus makes himself a figure less and less , eventually becoming clear to canyon that he too will skirt along with the bare minimum , claiming him at 13 and tapering off the effort he exerts as canyon begins to make a name for himself throughout the american demigod scene . his camp friends ask if he’s planning to attend eonia and canyon makes it clear that he refuses , a full ride scholarship to howard university the only thing in his sights for the future . he wants to detach himself from the culture being force down his throat by these demigod hypocrites , he wants to be adamant in his pride over being a black american fighting for change .

a change of heart comes perhaps on a whim . his father makes an offhand comment about “ what a shame ” it is that canyon doesn’t see himself as cut out for demigod school . the boy , now every bit a young man after his growth spurts leave him at an imposing 6’3 and football shapes his body into a vessel of solid muscle , commands the energy of every group he’s thrust into , a pillar of his community and recognized as the one who will bring their neighborhood into greatness . driven , intelligent , and powerful , canyon grows into his role as the champion , and it becomes apparent that his father wants to push the vision of his own contribution forward where it counts , and canyon — the one born into nothing , wants to grow into something .

eonia welcomes him with open arms and before he even opens his mouth , it’s apparent that he carries himself like the son of a king : though he is quick to distance himself from his father who he had once so - idolized . in his head , he sets out to become something notable without the need to precede himself with his father’s name ; canyon is a force of nature all by his own creation , and he refuses to credit his own well - earned accomplishments to a father who was hardly that . he plans to use eonia to close the demigod chapter in his life , hoping he can hone his powers enough to then never use them , hoping to remain solely involved in the mortal world with no mind given to the demigods’ drama . he plans to attend law school directly upon graduating and become the next spearhead of a political movement with the goal of true justice for all disenfranchised people in mind .

— 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 .

canyon ellis has made a name for himself despite his relative silence , a reputation preceding him even without the influence of his godly father’s name behind him . if anything , canyon represents what the ancient greeks perhaps idolized zeus to be — minus the hedonism that brought upon so much of the chaos plaguing his tales . a boy brought into the bare minimum becomes a man making due with the bare minimum , and canyon is known for a rhetoric that can prove a point out of anything . he’s an introvert in extrovert’s shoes , often spotted around teammates or other members of his clubs though he’s oft the last to say a word , choosing instead to observe in silence with those intense stares he’s become so well - known for . intimidating is perhaps an understatement when you pair his stature with his energy , the strength in his reservation and the discipline in his blood , standing tall and unwavering in his beliefs . he speaks with intention and though he’s most known for his serious side , he carries himself with a humble confidence that allows him to speak his truth with ease and stand up for what he believes in most , unafraid to call out those on the other end of his remarks . though he’s stern and admittedly reserved , he’s not shy , and pushes himself to reach beyond his areas of comfort in order to truly live up to the expectations he places on himself : expectations that are perhaps too high for him to realistically achieve in this lifetime .

though intense , canyon has a soft spot for those closest to him and though he won’t be the one stirring up the entertainment , he’s often biting back a smile at the antics of his loved ones , one of his catch phrases being “ i get the joke , i’m just not laughing because it’s not funny , ” followed by a pat on the head . he’s stern but not entirely humorless , kind but no - nonsense , and tends to hold himself to a certain standard of seriousness in most circumstances . he’ll let loose on the occasional night out , but there’s a sense of tension to him that seems clearly prepared to leap back into his leader shoes and fix whatever disaster may present itself . a projection of strength , poise , and dignity , canyon’s aptitude for leadership is equally his greatest strength and his biggest weakness , imbuing him with a moral compass and a sense of empathy that sometimes makes the world too black and white for him , refusing to see any circumstances that may complicate or excuse something .

his views on loyalty are severe and have left him with a handful of people he’s all but erased from his life , burning bridges without second thought though many in his circle advise him to reconsider . there’s right , and there’s wrong in his world , with nothing in between despite the fact that sometimes , there isn’t as clear cut of an answer as he claims there to be .

pair this with the trauma of his abandonments during the upbringing he faced and it comes together to result in a boy walking in a man’s shoes , fingernails digging into palms with the fever of all the words he bites back , fueled by a crusade for justice to give him some sense of worth — perhaps the only thing holding him together at this point .

— 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐂 .

AESTHETIC : uphill runs fueled by answer by tyler the creator blaring through your headphones , the perfectionism of a virgo and tenacity of a taurus , falling asleep to the swan by camille saint saens , vision obscured by hot tears , the flex of your jaw as you bite back a comment , the unsettling rumble in the air just before the strike of thunder , kendrick lamar blasting from your classic mustang , picking up the pieces of a shattered porcelain bust , the primal sense of connection in a team huddle , thunderous pounding of your pulse in your ears , being voted “ most likely to become president , ” a wide stance with arms crossed over your chest , power drawn from unity , never division .

my inspos for him were chiron / black from moonlight , erik killmonger from black panther , and batman lmao . i guess maybe some steve rogers ?

he’s the captain of the rugby team !

grew up playing football but the moment he casually played a rugby match at camp and interlocked into a scrum was the moment he was forever converted and has loved the sport ever since . he plays as a lock .

as a pre - law student , he’s in mock trial , as well as in the social justice collective . he is vice president of the black student collective and is an active and passionate member who is outspoken about black identity on campus

#EUINTRO #* ◞ 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝐦𝐞 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝑔𝑜𝑛’ 𝐝𝐨 𝖙𝖔 𝑚𝑒 . ❪ 𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐃 : INTRO .#❪ yes this is a mess no i do not have the brain cells to clean it up #canyon is how i live my vicarious 'i have my shit together' fantasy

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trash-muse · 3 years

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Flashback: A Long Trail of Ashes

WHO: John Constantine and Asmodel @dark-musngs WHAT: Flashback - July 2000 - First meeting between a punk ass magician and a not-yet-corrupted angel.

There was a sudden burst of music and drunken revelry as the side door of a London pub opened and a lean eighteen year old man exited with a swagger in his boot clad step. The summer air was warm and sticky and not at all ideal for wearing tight purple jeans and a leather jacket, but that didn’t stop the young man dressing like a rejected 70s punk aesthetic.

“Constantine!”

John Constantine whirled around, flashing a devilish grin. “Evening lads,” he greeted the four men that approached him, demeanor calm to the point of arrogance. “Nice night for a stroll, yeah?”

“Sod off, Constantine.” The leader of the men shuffled forward, asserting dominance. “You have some nerve showing your face ‘round here. Especially after what you did.”

“And what did I apparently do?” John continued, the other man’s temper clearly ready to boil over as John’s flippant question added fuel to the fire.

“You cheated!” The man got into John’s personal space, shoving him hard into the solid brick wall of the pub. “You used your little magic tricks to win and now you’re gonna pay.”

“Not my fault you were daft enough to bet your house. I should be thanking you, the bed is very comfortable.” John replied, riling the other man up further. Really he should be doing the opposite, trying to soothe the man’s ire and make an escape. But it seemed John was itching for some kind of action and if that action was an uneven fight in an alley then so be it.

The man swung at him, his closed fist missing as John weaseled his way out. One of the others then lunged for him and John swung back, fist connecting with jaw. It didn’t take much for a scrappy brawl to break out. Four to one, odds not in John’s favour. However, the young magician did put up a good fight, proving he was a nasty piece of work as he had claimed to be so many times before.

There was no way he could win though. Arms pinned behind his back by two of the blokes, John braced himself as the leader went to punch his head in. But the hit never landed. White light filled the little alleyway and when John opened his eyes again, the other men were gone.

“What the…?” John rose to his feet from his knees, looking around flabbergasted. Had he been hit that hard he blacked out? John questioned himself, bringing a hand to his forehead and quickly withdrew it again, hissing in pain from a split eyebrow.

Suddenly movement caught his attention and John curiously moved toward it. “Hey!” He called out, realising the silhouette up ahead was actually a person. “Hey… who are you? Did you cause that light?”

---

You’re not supposed to get involved…

Asmodel found herself repeating that phrase over and over again as she kept watch over the troublesome human. She had griped for days when she had received the assignment - a task usually given to a much lower rank of angel. Like a guardian or heaven forbid, a cherub. Cheery winged balls of energy. It was a warning for sure but for what she wasn’t sure. After Lucifer’s fall, heaven remained on high alert of any defecting angels, even to the point where they seemed a bit overly paranoid.

So the assignment had grown more interesting as the boy and the trouble he attracted grew. He probably stocked up all his close calls and last minute victories as coincidences, but it was busy work for the all-powerful angel keeping an eye on him. Heaven deemed him worthy of something, if not just to piss of hell, so she simply followed orders to keep him alive. Bare minimum of course, but alive all the same.

….except when he’s about to die in a common alleyway brawl!

Az cursed under her breath as she quickly had to step in, her presence lighting up the alleyway instantly. Thankfully there weren’t any other humans besides the three and John, so as the light died down she quickly stepped into the shadows so to blend into the surroundings. She wasn’t quite counting on Constantine to call her out though. Pausing where she was, she slowly turned to face the mess of a human. “Light?” she held up a small flashlight in her hand. “You mean this?”

---

John jogged slightly to catch up, boot clad feet clunking heavily against the old stone street in the alley. A lazy smile crawled across his features as he was finally able to make out the woman’s appearance. “Yeah, light.” He repeated himself, eyes drifting down to the apparent source of light she held, a chuckle erupting from his lips. “Ah… right… must have meant that.”

Of course, John didn’t believe that for one second. There was no way the little flashlight could light up the whole alley the way it did. But John wasn’t going to call his savior a liar. That would just be rude.

“Anyway, love, while completely unnecessary, I do appreciate the assistance. So, thank you.” He spoke in a polite but rather dismissive tone, figuring the woman probably had better places to be.

---

Az cursed under her breath as she heard him coming up behind her, not taking her off-handed explanation as a sign that she wasn’t interested in further conversation. She pocketed the phone and glanced over to him as she felt his eyes on her. Cheeky as always.

“Unnecessary?” she repeated in amusement they fell into step. “If I’m not mistaken, you were about to have your ass handed to you.” Her dark eyes flickered over to him before with a subtle smirk.

---

“I had it under control,” John bit back, tone slightly defensive. He didn’t know what he would have done but he would have thought of something. He always thought of something.

The sass of the young woman was refreshing and her accent rather intriguing - definitely not local. Although, to be fair, neither was he. But he was willing to bet he was a lot closer to home than she was.

“But let’s not get into it, yeah?” John retreated on the pending bickering before it could even kick off. “So, my avenging angel, you got a name? Always like to know the name of someone before I buy them a drink.”

---

“I’d hate to see what it looks like when you don’t have it under control.” Az smirked as he tried to save face, as if she hadn’t seen him plenty of times failing to have similar moments under control. She paused as he invited her out for a drink. Always the sweet talker - if only he knew how accurate avenging angel was in this case.

“Azra.” She turned to face him, looking up at him indifferently. “And I don’t drink.”

---

“Never happen.” John smirked in reply, finding it easy to joke around with the young woman. Despite having never met her before, there was an air of familiarity about her. Like they had known each other for years. However, John paid it no mind.

Azra. Not a common name heard in those parts. Fitting for such an intriguing woman.

John had to chuckle at her indifference. “How about something to eat then? There are a few places still open. What do you feel like? Or don’t you do that either?”

---

Az rolled her eyes as he continued to badger her. He didn’t quit. She should have expected this when she interceded, honestly it was what had stopped her from stepping in personally before, but she just couldn’t help herself this time. She sighed, raising a brow as she contemplated just wiping his memory and moving on. It was just such a hassle.

“…I can eat and you don’t seem to be familiar with someone turning you down. So sure, a quick bite won’t hurt.”

---

A cheeky grin responded to Azra’s banter about being unfamiliar with someone turning him down. John was charming, cocky and persistent. All traits the blonde tried to use to his advantage. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it didn’t. However as Azra continued it was clear John was winning her over.

“It definitely won’t hurt.” John replied, keeping in step with her. “So what do you feel like? There’s a pub down there that does chips but it gets a bit rowdy this time of night.” He nodded in the direction they were headed. “Or we could catch the tube to a little pizza place near King’s Cross. They shut soon but I know the owner, they’ll let us in after closing.”

“Or… if you don’t think it too forward. We can go back to mine and I can make you breakfast for dinner.”

---

Az took a moment to consider the options. More human interaction wasn’t exactly what she had hoped for tonight but it could be safer than more one on one time with his ridiculous self. Although, knowing John, going somewhere rowdy was just asking for trouble and she didn’t want to step in to stop another brawl - once a night was enough without exposing herself.

She raised a brow as she looked up to him skeptically. “Is that what you say to get a girl to go home with you?” It was a good border between sweet and sleezy, so how many times had he offered it in the past? “Fine, breakfast it is.”

---

John waited patiently as Azra mulled over the options. He wouldn’t pressure her into spending more time with him - though he found her intriguing, he did respect the young woman’s boundaries. However, Azra wasn’t saying no.

“Usually I’m the one being invited, not doing the inviting.” John’s apartment wasn’t exactly the most glamorous of venues. It was literally one bed with a small kitchenette and bathroom. Some closets had bigger square footage. But despite not having much room for guests over, it was safe and kept him off the street. “And not always a girl.”

His smile broadened as his offer was accepted. “Good choice,” John said before reaching out a hand to pause her steps forward, guiding Azra to cross the road with him. “What do you usually have for breakfast?”

---

“Of course. A pretty face offers you food and I doubt you say no.” she chuckled because little did he know, but she was well versed in the life of John Constantine. And maybe she should have known better than to agree - after all, she was supposed to be looking on from afar, not interacting with him face to face like this. It was against the guidelines and procedures….so maybe that thrill was why she ended up agreeing.

She followed his directed path, letting him lead despite knowing their intended destination already. “I don’t usually have much time for breakfast, so whatever is available will do.”

---

“Of course not.” John grinned at her chuckle. “Be rude of me if I did.” He did lead quite the colourful life but he also had enough respect for those he was with to not tell everyone about who he was with and what exactly they got up to.

John gave Azra a look of disbelief when she said she didn’t have breakfast, although there was no scolding behind his gaze. “Azra, my dear, you are in for a treat.”

He hopped the stairs up to his apartment building door two at a time and let himself into the old terrace house, holding the door open so Azra may enter first. Directly in front of the entry way was a sharp set of stairs upward - of which, John climbed, moved around the small landing and climbed a further set of stairs.

“It’s not much, but it’s home.” John opened the door to his humble one room apartment. “There’s no sofa, but promise the bed’s clean if you want a seat.”

---

Azra followed him up the steps - all the steps - until they finally reached his little apartment. It was…quaint. Definitely showed that he didn’t spend too much time there. She observed the small space as she entered, looking around with a somewhat critical eye before taking a seat gingerly on the bed as he offered her a seat.

“What’s so important about breakfast?” she asked indifferently, her gaze shifting back to focus on him as he moved about the small kitchen area. She couldn’t stay long but she could play along with this idea of entertaining that he had in mind.

#c: asmodel #muse: john constantine #past: 2000 #flashback: a long trail of ashes

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mellowmoonballoon · 4 years

Text

P6 of the Primer - Felix

Felix!

He is just... ethereal.

Deep voice. But also sometimes high voice and mosquito sounds and pretty awesome beat-boxing. No idea if he’s still working on it tho, all the videos are older.

Another Australian! Came to Korea because he wanted to be a dancer (despite his parents wishes, to the point that I wonder how the hell it happened). Changbin’s theory is that they are just worried about him and like... I’m with him. And with good reason. He moved to Korea on his own when he was 17 and didn’t speak the language* to ... uh... be a dancer? Because, and I quote, “why not.”

He got eliminated from the Stray Kids survival show because “his Korean wasn’t good enough” which sounded like a shitty excuse to break Bang Chan’s heart but I promised I wouldn’t go there so FINE. He came back in the last episode. He has since learned a lot more Korean - still not perfect - but the others often say he uses much nicer and better words than they do. (Second language learning ftw.)

His deep voice got him noticed but because he can manipulate it his singing teachers had him sing pretty high and it messed him up a bit. He raps in the deep voice but sings in the higher and he is now trying to work out the system. Fingers crossed he doesn’t do any damage. (He talks about this a bit with Chris in that 2 kids room thing when they were put in that abandoned building.) He works HARD on his singing. I mean, he works hard on everything, they all do, but he’s really embarrassed and worries a lot about his singing and sometimes you can hear the nervousness in his voice, but when he relaxes it’s amazing. I loved his part in Hero’s Soup (and their other recorded songs but that was the first time I heard him sing so it’s special :D ), but I also loved it when he sang Finneas’ Break My Heart.

youtube

Oh yeah his Korean name is Yongbok, which is apparently not a very modern sounding name - he got it from his grandfather - so he didn’t use it often, but he’s getting used to it because the other members call him that all the time :D I remembered when I mentioned “Chris” and then I also realized that I never mentioned in Bang Chan’s profile that his name is Chris lol I’m ROCKING these primers.

So, he’s a very good rapper, and he’s working on his singing and I think he has a beautiful singing voice, and of course, he came to Korea to dance so, he’s a dancer. Unlike Minho and Hyunjin he’s never done a solo project, but he was on a program where he taught the viewers to dance famous Kpop dances (because he knows all of them because he’s a zoomer who lives on tiktok) and he is REALLY GOOD AND I WISH HE’D DO A SOLO “SKZ PRACTICE ROOM” IS RIGHT.THERE. Anyway I’m fine.

I think he struggles with confidence a lot and I hope he starts to realize how good he is soon because confident Felix just hits different.

Felix is part of “danceracha” along with Minho and Hyunjin and together they do have a song they alone perform and dance to so that’s something. :) Here’s danceracha being softly chaotic and still killing it.

What I love is when people are so good at something that even when they’re joking it pops out. Agh!

His biggest support when it comes to his confidence seems to be Bang Chan. Every time they talk, or every time Bang Chan talks to anyone, he makes sure to explain to us and Felix how amazing Felix is.

youtube

Felix’s real life hobbies include playing video games and not going to sleep until 6am, and putting on so many face products that I couldn’t even finish the video of him explaining it. He is, however, proud of his freckles and since fans have been demanding to see them the company lets him keep his face bare or with minimum makeup often, which is great. He loves ASMR and has started his own series on youtube where he talks about ... stuff and touches things. Idk I’m not a fan of ASMR, it gives me the opposite feeling, but he is always so soft in those i watch them anyway.

Just... shut up with that sweater pls.

Apparently he is a great listener and very comforting for everyone around him. He loves to hug and be hugged, he talked a few times about how much being hugged means to him.

Their reactions :D

This was when they were picking their “soulmate” and Bang Chan was going strong until it was between him and Han, Felix’s twin. Han came in for the kill.

Yeah... but... Han isn’t the only one who gets Felix’s hugs.

He is also the only person Minho is regularly soft for. (I want to marry this video.)

Now, is Changbin in this photoset twice? Yes. Literally EVERYONE talked about how Felix was in love with him. Everyone in the band I mean. Changbin talked about it. Felix said he was. Love letters were exchanged. Hyunjin was involved...

Well, like all things Hyunjin, it’s more that he started it than “was involved” but ok. His opening line:

Changbin is fucking brutal from the start but sometimes you need that in your life:

Felix is like... yeah...

But Changbin is fair:

In conclusion:

Dreams do come true tho.

Of course, what SKZ actually are is a ... love train? but not in that way, because while Chanbin obsesses over Hyunjin and Felix over Changbin, Bang Chan is the one obsessing over Felix.

But because, as I mentioned in Bang Chan’s part, they have a slightly complicated relationship, where Bang Chan loves Felix a lot and compliments him a lot but also “corrects” him the most - things get difficult sometimes. (A good example of this are the cookies, I think. Chris brought up how much he loves Felix’s cookies on a live and Felix was like “yeah but you always have something to say about them” and Chris tried to explain that he only does it so Felix would get better but mm, sometimes things like that backfire. But, as I said, Chris is starting to relax a bit so hopefully this too will get better.

Ok so apparently I have to make a part 2 because Tumblr won’t let me talk about the hugging incident in this post.

Bang Chan - Minho - Changbin - Hyunjin - Han - Felix and Felix2 - Seungmin - Jeongin

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liketolaugh-writes · 4 years

Text

Threadbare and Torn

Author: liketolaugh Summary: Hank becomes a Jericho spy in the DPD ranks. Connor becomes his liaison. They... well, they don't exactly get along.

Hank wasn’t a reflective kinda guy. At least, not when he could help it. These days, that shit didn’t invite much of anything but pain, regret, frustration- no, it was easier to just go with his gut.

And Jeffrey. God, when was the last time he’d done a favor for Jeffrey? When was the last time Jeffrey had asked?

Hank squinted against the sun, a faint headache throbbing at his temples. Nothing like as bad as usual- he wanted his wits about him for this. His gaze swept cautiously over the café’s outdoor tables until a man in a beanie glanced up disinterestedly from his menu, brown eyes lingering on the breast of Hank’s jacket.

Jeffrey had given him the jacket – apparently it had a symbol sewn into it, nearly invisible to the human eye, but obvious to any android who knew to look for it. Hank didn’t pretend to understand how it worked, but apparently it did, because the next moment, the man signaled him, two fingers waving what Hank was certain was a perfect triangle.

Hank trudged over to him and plopped down in the seat across from the android, giving him an appraising look of his own. Stiff, straight posture, a beanie covering his LED, stained and nondescript clothing, no trace of expression on his face. No model Hank recognized, not that that meant much.

“How’s your father doing?” Hank said at last, not letting himself snort at the mandatory code. Eyes and ears everywhere, and all, with the FBI on the Jericho case. Still, he felt like he was in a spy movie. A corny one.

The android tilted his head slightly; Hank could almost feel himself being scanned. He clenched his jaw, meeting the android’s eyes just short of a glare, daring him to comment on Hank’s disheveled state.

“…Still living the life with his mistress,” the android said instead, so soft that Hank almost couldn’t hear him. His tone was perfectly even and measured, and subtly deferential. Hank hated it.

“Food here any good?” he jabbed lightly, glancing inside. The café didn’t have a ‘no androids’ sign, which was telling; they’d become more and more popular as tensions rose.

The android just shrugged, disinterested. “Want any?” he asked quietly, setting the menu down.

Hank considered saying yes, just to be an ass. Then he scoffed at himself and shook his head. “Too rabbit food for me. In the mood for something else? This was just a meet-up point.”

The android nodded shortly, hands dropping to his lap. “Let’s go.”

Hank’s first impression was that he was mechanical, contrasting harshly with the crying and terrified deviants Hank had seen too many times in his precinct’s cells. It grated on him, but, uncharacteristically, he bit his tongue. This wasn’t about the robot in front of him. It was about Jericho.

Sighing, Hank pushed himself up and jerked his head, indicating for the android to accompany him, before leading the way to his car. A few conspicuous seconds passed before Hank heard the scrape of the chair, and the android fell in half a step behind him. A glance back told Hank that he was scanning the crowd, pretty thoroughly disinterested in interacting with Hank.

But maybe it was just the location. Hank didn’t like letting people into his space, especially not someone who so immediately set his teeth on edge, but it was better than staying out in the open.

“Name’s Hank Anderson,” Hank grunted as soon as they were both in the car. He watched the android fiddle with the seatbelt for a moment before prompting, unable to keep an edge of irritation out of his voice, “And you? I sure hope you’re the Jericho contact or this is gonna get real awkward.”

The android nodded stiffly, leaving the seatbelt alone to look ahead, still straight-backed and perfect. “I’m Connor.”

That was apparently all he had to say about that. Hank exhaled and started the car, hit the radio, and got going, ignoring the way Connor glanced down at it with a reserved frown. If he couldn’t speak up, he didn’t get an opinion.

Hank’s first impression of the guy didn’t improve any on the way to his house. Connor stared straight ahead out the window, occasionally following something to the side, and made no attempt at conversation. His back stayed stiff, his posture perfect, and his hands folded neatly in his lap.

The pattern continued as they reached Hank’s house. Hank got out, and a few seconds passed before Connor followed. When he did, it was careful and deliberate, without any flourish and making as little noise as possible. Even shutting the door was a nearly silent process, and then he followed half a step behind Hank up the path to his house. Hank wanted to hit him just to see if he’d react.

Sumo greeted Hank at the door with a low boof and a snuffle, and Hank gave him a rough pat and an absentminded, “Good boy.”

Sumo boofed again, and then circled around to sniff at Connor, lazily curious.

Connor stiffened, eyes tracking Sumo with clear apprehension, and edged back as the dog came close. After a moment, he looked away and skirted around the dog without directly acknowledging him. Stepped around the pizza boxes on the ground and didn’t even disturb the dog food Hank had spilled last night that Sumo hadn’t eaten yet. Didn’t even touch the wall.

Instead, he just paused on the threshold of the living room and kitchen, clearly waiting for instructions. Looked like a mannequin.

Sumo huffed, unbothered, and loped off to flop onto his bed, but Hank scowled and slammed the door shut. Connor’s expression barely twitched. Hank leaned against the door, crossed his arms, and surveyed him.

“Thirium? Cards?” he asked, more a challenge than a real offer at this point. God, it was gonna be a long couple months. Just looking at Connor made him itch. “I can put the TV on in the background.”

Connor glanced at him, flat and disinterested. “…No, thank you.”

Shocker.

Hank grunted and kicked out one of the chairs at the kitchen table, throwing himself down with a scowl. Connor took that as a signal and sat down across from him, no noise, stiffly polite. Then he reached into his pocket and withdrew a holographic projector, setting it between them. With the press of a button, a map of Detroit sprang up between them.

“Straight to business, huh?” Hank said sardonically, something sick and bitter twisting in his stomach, and Connor nodded.

Hank would grant the kid one thing, he had some good ideas in his head. They had the start of a game plan sketched out after the better part of an hour, districts to target, shelters to capture, infrastructure to prioritize. Maximum effectiveness, minimum collateral.

Except the police. No mercy for them.

The only exception was Hank’s precinct, since Jeffrey had already secured an agreement with Jericho; his officers turned a blind eye to anything androids did, and Jericho steered around them. Fair enough, and good thinking on Jeffrey’s part. Small comfort all the same.

And a good mind Connor might have, but he was fucking exhausting to talk to. He seemed to speak as little as possible. He missed half of Hank’s expressions. Refused to directly contradict Hank even when he clearly disagreed.

Hank was sick of this already.

“What’s your plan if the military gets involved?” he asked, struggling to keep his mind in the game and off Connor’s painfully flat affect, so like the machine surgeon that-

“They shouldn’t,” Connor said shortly. After several minutes, he seemed to realize how painfully inadequate that was and continued, “They’re busy, or we would be dead already. The police and FBI have fewer resources. Should that change, we will certainly lose.”

Connor’s tone remained quiet and indifferent through his entire speech. He didn’t even take his eyes off the city plan, and his mouth was a flat, downturned line. Hank compared him again to the crying girl he’d seen self-destruct in one of the jail cells last year, and felt his rage grow.

“Doesn’t that bother you?” he snapped, voice rising a little.

Connor had the nerve to shrug. Hank felt sick.

He got up to turn music on in the background, and pretended not to hear when Connor asked him to turn it back off.

---

A week and a half later, Hank was faced with the grim consequences of his actions as his police radio burst with panicked chatter. He listened to them relay information back and forth, asking for backup, trying to outmaneuver their opponents, as if Jericho didn’t have easy access to even the police-only channels. He didn’t move from where his car was parked on a random streetside, far away from the chaos.

Neither, he knew, did anyone else from their precinct.

Over the course of six hours, the skirmish between Jericho and the local police force went from a standoff, to a shootout, and then an invasion, and finally a surrender. With that, the precinct the main Jericho base occupied was deviant territory.

Casualties on each side were pretty brutal. Hank wouldn’t know the exact Jericho numbers until Connor told him, but the police force took thirty-seven deaths and close to fifty injured.

All Hank’s fault, obviously, though from his grim look, Jeffrey was feeling it too. Still, he remembered the Tracis, terrified and angry and in love, the ones he’d let go before he’d ever gotten properly involved with this shit.

(Cole had loved androids. This was the first time in years that he’d done something he felt Cole would’ve been proud of him for. He couldn’t give up that easy.)

So he pushed on.

He and Connor had arranged to meet up a few days after the fight, and Connor, of course, arrived precisely on time, back straight, expression disaffected, and knocked on the door until Hank answered.

He offered Hank a cursory greeting, sat in the exact same place as last time, and gave Sumo an unreadable look when he boofed. Hank scowled, his foul temper heavy in his gut, and kicked the door shut. When he turned around, Connor was placing the projector dead center on the table and tapping it to activate.

“Thought we could play a round of cards or some shit before we got into it,” Hank said, not bothering to hide his irritation. Not because he wanted to spend any extra time with this programmed asshole, but he couldn’t bring himself to pretend he was eager to turn on his former fellows, and he hated Connor’s apathetic demeanor.

Case in point: Connor blinked at him, unamused and uninterested. The same beanie covered his head, the same sweater, same pants. “Why?”

Hank hated him.

He sat down, scowling at the hologram, which blinked at him mockingly. “Whatever. What’re we working with?”

Connor didn’t question it, lunching straight into the casualty numbers for Jericho and highlighting the weaknesses in the attack. He didn’t seem to care about the significance of any of what he was saying – like it was just a training exercise, like none of them were people to him.

In turn, Hank grudgingly relayed his end of things: police response details, the FBI’s conspicuous silence, announcements and reallocations from the interceding days. None of it reflected the stifled quiet of the station these days, the heavy tension, the silent resignations handed in by a few of the officers with each their own reasons – Miller, Reed, Wilson.

Connor listened silently and seamlessly incorporated the information into the next, revised plan, plotting out the steady destruction of the next precinct in line.

Finally, Hank couldn’t take it anymore. He slammed his hands on the table and leaned close, taking a sour pleasure out of seeing Connor go dead still. Sumo whined, and Hank felt only a hint of regret, quickly swallowed up, eyes on Connor.

“I knew those people,” Hank said lowly, not bothering to suppress the venom. “I fucking worked with them. Now, I knew what I was signing up for, but fuck, the least you can do is pretend you give a shit in front of me.”

His voice rose until he was almost, but not quite shouting, hot with rage. Connor didn’t look at him, but Hank could see the tension almost vibrating through his frame, a tightness around his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Connor said after a while, just on the edge of audible, stiff and insincere.

Hank scoffed. “You have to mean it for it to matter,” he sneered, bitterness and guilt and a visceral sort of revulsion churning up inside him.

Deviants were one thing, but god, he couldn’t stand machines.

Connor didn’t even try to look him in the face, rubbing his arm in mild discomfort. “I do.”

Hank took a breath, furious and conflicted and sick with it all.

“Get out,” he forced out, and Connor only hesitated for half a second before obeying, tucking the projector back into his pocket and leaving without another word. It didn’t make Hank any happier.

He wanted a drink.

---

Three months and several meetings later, Hank was at his wit’s end.

Jericho had taken half the city, and public opinion was radically polarized between those in support and those terrified and furious, those calling and protesting for a treaty and those breaking into Cyberlife stores just to tear shit up. Police morale was rock bottom, and the national government hadn’t lifted a finger to help; not that that was a bad thing, considering, but it was a pill to swallow.

And that was just in Detroit.

His mood was even worse than usual today, because Connor apparently couldn’t be assed to give the meeting a fraction of his valuable attention. His gaze wandered the room; his face had no expression at all, and he leaned back in his chair in the closest to a lazy posture Hank had seen from him. He hadn’t even acknowledged Sumo when the dog wandered up to nudge at him, snuffling.

He fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, and spoke even less than usual, instead humming along as Hank fucking carried the conversation. Like he had no stake in it. Like it didn’t even matter to him.

It pissed Hank the hell off. What was Connor here for, if he couldn’t be bothered to care? What was Hank doing here?

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Hank barked eventually, when Connor shrugged instead of telling Hank goddamn anything useful about Jericho’s supplies situation. Connor didn’t answer, looking somewhere in the direction of the bathroom door, and Hank’s voice rose. “Connor. Connor!” Connor’s gaze drifted to him, the android’s head cocking slightly, nose crinkling like it was more trouble than it was worth. Hank fumed. “What the hell is with you today?”

Connor blinked at him. Same beanie, same sweater, fingers playing with his sleeve. His gaze dropped to the projector.

“…I killed someone last time,” he said at last, almost too soft to hear.

Hank snapped.

“What does it fucking matter anyway?” he spat, thinking of voices that dropped off the radio and Jeffrey’s tired resignation and the bags deepening under Ben’s eyes. “It’s one of fucking hundreds anyway, isn’t it? But you don’t fucking care about that, you just- fucking sit there and figure out how to do it more efficiently like some kind of machine, and it’s fucking disgusting-!”

Hank was on his feet and shouting, and he didn’t even care; he was so furious his blood was roaring in his ears and he was almost shaking, staring at Connor’s stupid frozen tin-can face because machines never cared who lived or died-

And then Connor was on his feet too.

“Sh-shut up!” Connor snarled at him, and for the first time his voice was at a level Hank didn’t strain to hear, and he was scowling right back at Hank. “Y-you don’t under, understand anything! Y-y-you’ve never even tr-tried!”

Hank’s voice caught in his throat, whatever words he was planning on saying next drying up as his mind twisted up in confusion.

Since when did Connor stutter?

Connor ducked back, took a step back and a step forward, yanked on his shirt and shook out his hands and then yanked again, breathing quickly.

“I, I had to kill N-Nines again,” he continued, “b-because he won’t ask, ask me not to, I ask him to say it and he, he won’t, he does-doesn’t know how, and it’s m-m-my fault, I ran away and l-left him and now-now-now he’s the dev-deviant hunter and and…”

Connor shuddered and yanked on his shirt again. His head twitched to one side, and he took a deep, heaving breath, and he abruptly looked exactly like the deviants who melted down in the DPD interrogation rooms.

Hank couldn’t breathe. He felt like the floor had been yanked out from under him.

“And y-you have no i-idea what it’s like to be, to be a machine,” Connor continued relentlessly. Stepped back, stepped back, stepped forward, yanked. “To, to be nothing, and, and n-no one, you have- no f-fucking idea.” He took another quick, harsh breath, and without looking up, snapped, “Stop l-looking at me li-li-like th-that!”

Connor was breathing dangerously hard now, and maybe it was his imagination, but Hank thought he could see the red glare of his LED through the cotton beanie.

Hank’s mouth opened and closed, thrown so far off he wasn’t even sure he was on the same planet anymore. When he didn’t respond after a minute, Connor looked up, brown eyes dull and wild. A second later, he seemed to process what he’d just done, clapped a hand over his mouth, and stared at Hank.

Then he bolted, clumsy and frantic, and Hank made no move to stop him.

Fuck.

---

The only surprise when he was contacted a few days later was that it was Markus himself who met with him, expression lined with stress and exhaustion; that, and that he was not nearly as confrontational as Hank would’ve assumed, under the circumstances.

He waited patiently for Hank to open the door, showed himself inside, glanced at Sumo with a flicker of a smile and sat himself on the couch. Then he looked at Hank, as bold and expectant as if this was his own home.

Hank sat down, feeling as sullen and defensive as a grumpy child.

“What happened?” Markus asked immediately, intense dual-toned eyes on Hank.

Hank scowled and crossed his arms uncomfortably. “It was just a damn argument,” he muttered. “Happens all the time. Don’t worry, I’m not some bitch-ass hypocrite who’d quit over this.”

Markus raised his eyebrows, looking unimpressed and almost amused by the attempt at deflection. “Please understand, Lieutenant, that when Connor returned yesterday he was on the verge of a meltdown. I’m not letting him back here until I feel the issue’s been resolved. So please: tell me what happened.”

Hank felt a stab of guilt and glanced away uncomfortably, watching Sumo pant on his bed. “Why don’t you ask him?” he grouched.

“I have,” Markus said patiently, “and I’ve already taken steps to resolve things on his end. I’d like your side of the story.” He paused, took a breath, and continued, a little kinder, “I’m not your enemy, Lieutenant. I assume you had your reasons for blowing up the way you did.”

Some of the tension eased out of Hank’s shoulders. “Why does Connor act so mechanical?”

There was a beat of silence.

“Everyone responds differently to deviancy,” Markus said, tone noticeably cooler but somehow still not angry. “Connor’s taken it particularly hard and is finding adjustment difficult. Can you explain what you mean?”

“He’s…” Hank groaned and reached up to rub his hand over his face, frustrated. “Blank. Won’t take his mind off the job for half a second, acts like nothing bothers him, can’t express an opinion to save his life. Gets on my nerves.”

It’s not natural, he wanted to say, but even he knew that would be a step too far.

“I see,” Markus sighed, and he actually leaned against the back of the couch a little, considering Hank tiredly. “Yes, that would explain a few things. He’s mentioned that he can’t seem to figure out what you expect from him.” Pause, while Hank tried to figure that out, and then Markus continued, “Connor spent the majority of his machine period in relative isolation. He has some social difficulties as a result. But he responds well to direct communication.”

Irritably, Hank amended his earlier thought. It wasn’t natural – except in survivors of extended neglect and abuse.

Fucking obviously. What was his police training good for if he couldn’t even identify the signs of long-term abuse when the dominos lined themselves the fuck up for him? Had he really let himself go that much?

“Why send him, then?” he asked, dropping his hand to curl it into a fist, leaning back against the couch, absently wishing he’d keep sinking until he sank right into the ground. Extenuating circumstances or no, Connor’s callousness was enough to make his teeth grind.

When he finally glanced over, Markus was frowning at him thoughtfully.

“As the former deviant hunter,” the android said carefully, studying him as he spoke, “Connor’s strategic programs are high and above anything the rest of us have. Sending someone else would be rather like having a talented amateur play a competitive chess game when you have a professional chessmaster available. I didn’t want to take any chances.”

That made sense – too much sense, damn it.

“Connor mentioned something about a deviant hunter too,” Hank muttered, still avoiding the core issue as he felt more and more stupid and selfish. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Markus looked first surprised, then frustrated, then gloomily resigned, shoulders slumping. He rubbed his knee, sighing.

“Of course,” he murmured. “I forgot that the matter didn’t receive much human publicity.” He cleared his throat and resettled himself, wincing as his legs shifted, and met Hank’s eyes gravely. “Cyberlife has been keeping a prototype whose sole purpose is to hunt down and kill deviant androids and put a permanent end to Jericho. For about a year and a half, that was Connor. These days, it’s an RK900, Conan. Connor calls him Nines.”

Shit. Shit. Motherfucker, every time he thought Cyberlife couldn’t get any worse- thought humans couldn’t get any worse-

Hank could see it all too clearly, too, in Connor’s numb apathy, and the cold efficiency of his ideas, and his obvious experience. For about half a second he considered holding it against him, and then he remembered his breakdown the other day.

You have no idea what it’s like to be a machine, Connor had said, stuttering and shattered and viciously angry. No, he couldn’t in good conscience blame Connor.

So instead Hank just felt frustrated and overwhelmed, every inch the stupid, bitter old man he knew Cole would have been crushed to see his father become. He needed a drink. He missed him.

“What happened?” Markus repeated.

Hank exhaled harshly, reached up to cover his eyes with his wrist, and finally, grudgingly, explained, “He just- it’s fucking stupid, okay? He was having an off-day or something, and I got pissed because he wasn’t even paying attention, and I lashed out.” He huffed again. “It’s just- this shit ain’t easy for me either. I knew it was coming, and all, and most of ‘em were bastards from the start, but I don’t have to enjoy having a hand in all… this. And he don’t make it any easier.”

Markus looked unexpectedly sympathetic, if still distinctly uncompromising.

“I’ll talk to him,” he promised, “but I recommend you do the same if you want to get any actual communication going. You still have a few more months of working together. It would be best if you could find a way to at least tolerate each other.” Then, unexpectedly, he gave Hank a stern look. “Don’t call him a machine again. I broke his programming myself, but only after he asked me to. He’s earned his personhood the same as the rest of us.”

Wearily, Hank gave in.

“Yeah,” he agreed resignedly. “Yeah, alright.”

---

Hank meant it, when he promised to give Connor another chance. He did.

But his mood darkened steadily as the next meeting time approached, a heavy sort of exhaustion falling over Hank’s shoulders. By the time the actual date rolled around, he was halfway through a bottle and had long since forgotten. Within a couple hours, he’d downed the whole thing, played a few rounds of Russian Roulette, and then passed out cold on the ground, dizzy and nauseous.

He woke up to fingers tapping gingerly at his numb face, groaned, opened his eyes to squint at Connor frowning at him, and groaned again.

“Not now,” he muttered petulantly, rolling over and away. “Not fucking now.”

Connor sighed down at him.

“I d-don’t know what I-I-I ex-expected,” he murmured, and then leaned down and hauled Hank up effortlessly, ducking under his arm to support him.

Hank groaned as the sudden motion turned his stomach and swatted weakly at Connor a couple times. “Get off me. Get the fuck off me!”

Connor ignored him. Fucker.

The android didn’t seem to have any trouble dragging him through the house, and Sumo was fast asleep like the little traitor he was, so Hank just closed his eyes and grumbled wordlessly, his brain too soaked in liquor to put up a real fight. Didn’t matter anyway, one way or another, the way the world was going.

He was dumped unceremoniously onto his bed, and Hank squinted up at Connor blearily. He was staring down at Hank with his brow pinched, head cocked.

“Confusion, vomiting, seizures, slow or irregular breathing, hypothermia…” Connor muttered, and then sighed.

And then, bafflingly, he grabbed Hank’s trash can and moved it closer to his bed. Hank blinked at it dumbly while Connor left, wondering what the fuck that was all about.

He was too drunk for this, he decided, and passed out again just as Connor returned with a glass of water.

Hank woke up again an indeterminate amount of time later, fell off the bed, vomited, and went back to sleep.

When he woke up in the morning, head pounding and mouth dry, he was back in bed, and he couldn’t smell any puke. He groaned, feeling his stomach rebel, and then spotted the glass of water, which was reason enough to push himself laboriously upright. He grabbed it and gulped it down without hesitation, and then stumbled out of his room in search of painkillers.

Another day in the life of Hank fucking Anderson, he thought sourly, and then he reached the living room and stopped.

Connor was curled up on the couch, just squirming to stare sleepily at Hank. His beanie was discarded somewhere behind him, and his LED was a steady blue at his temple, flicking to a spinning yellow as Hank watched.

Connor had stayed. Connor was scanning him. Connor frowned at him, pushed himself to his feet, and said, avoiding his gaze, “Y-y-you need f-food. S-s-sit down, I’ll m-make you some, something.”

Too befuddled and hungover to think of a response, Hank sat down at the table. Connor disappeared into the kitchen for several minutes, and Hank put his head down on the cool wood.

What the fuck.

Connor returned with a plate of four pieces of toast, perfectly browned, and set it in front of Hank. Then he retreated, seating himself on the floor by Sumo’s bed, staring at the sleeping dog.

At a loss, Hank ate, slowly and numbly, staring at Connor like he was seeing him for the first time. His sweater was patched and heavily stained and too big for him. His pants weren’t a lot better off. Both items looked soft and well-worn. He had what looked like an old Bluetooth headset on each ear, which was new. And as Hank watched, Connor hesitantly reached out a hand and pet Sumo gingerly. Within seconds, his whole body softened.

He looked. He looked like a person.

Hank reached down, and then realized with a start that he’d actually eaten all four pieces of bland-ass toast, and his stomach had actually settled a little. He stared blankly down for a few seconds, and then got up and stumbled into the kitchen, started a pot of coffee, and swallowed a couple painkillers dry. Connor didn’t say a word the whole time.

Hank swiped his fresh mug of coffee and sat back down, and it wasn’t until he’d finished half of it that he asked tiredly, “What are you doing here?”

The question clearly stumped Connor, and he pulled his hand back to his chest without looking up.

“I was con-concerned that you w-w-would suf-suffocate or, or seize over, overnight,” Connor said at last, quiet again and sounding oddly defeated. And what was with the stutter?

Either way, Hank snorted bitterly.

“I don’t need your crisis protocols,” he sneered, well familiar with them after all this time. And he didn’t need anyone’s fucking pity, or their mental health training or leftover programmed ‘compassion’.

Unexpectedly, though, Connor gave him a hard look back.

“I’m p-programmed for, for in-inves-investigation and m-murder, Lieutenant,” he said, clipped and terse. “I don’t, don’t have c-crisis protocols.”

It was Hank’s turn to be stumped. He squinted at Connor, trying to comprehend him through his aching head. “Then what are you getting outta this? Fuck knows you don’t have any reason to give a shit about me.”

Hank just wasn’t worth giving a shit about, and he and Connor had clashed from day one. There was no reason for Connor to stick around for his drunk ass.

“I d-d-don’t kn-know,” Connor said, unwittingly echoing Hank’s thoughts.

“Oh, it all makes sense now,” Hank said sarcastically, familiar and easy irritation flashing through him. And that fucking stutter-

Connor sighed, pulled his knees to his chest, and repeated insistently, “I don’t kn-know. We don’t get, get, get al-along. We, we y-yelled at each, each other last w-week. But I was, was worried.”

Connor paused. Hank finished his coffee to avoid looking at him, suddenly uncomfortable with how vulnerable he looked. He looked young. Hell, he probably was young.

“I’m, I’m sorry for yell, yelling,” Connor said after a bit. “I d-didn’t m-mean to, to get upset.”

Hank believed that in a heartbeat. He grunted, still guarded and reluctant to trust this sudden about-face of behavior, and went to go flop on the couch.

“Where did those fucking headphone things come from?” he mumbled out of nowhere, leaning heavily on the arm of the couch and frowning at Connor.

Connor looked uncomfortable again, tugging gently at his sleeves.

“They’re n-noise-can-canceling,” he said, not looking at Hank. “M-Markus got them, got them for m-me. B-because I’m sense, sensitive to s-sound, and you can be kind of, kind of l-loud.”

Hank snorted ungracefully. “Uh huh. Is that all you two talked about?”

Connor shrugged. “He said I was, was t-trying too hard, and that was wh-why you dis-disliked me. I’m, I’m t-trying to do, do b-better.” He hesitated, not look at Hank. “Am I, am I doing better?”

“Jesus Christ,” Hank muttered, and threw an arm over his face. “Why do you even care what I think of you?”

“I don’t know,” Connor said unhappily, curled up on the ground.

Hank sighed. Let himself notice how much more Connor was talking than usual, his voice warping and stammering awkwardly instead of stiffly controlled. The small blips of annoyance he’d let slip, and uncertainty, and the admission of weakness.

He thought about Connor staying overnight just to look after his sorry ass. When was the last time someone had done that? It had to have been years.

“Yeah,” he said at last. “Yeah, you’re doing better.”

#hank anderson #markus #connor #dbh #detroit become human #fanfiction #my writing #more of this verse finally!!

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