#and at one point they were talking about the use of autistic as an insult

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Nepeta: :33 < girls love me beclaws i am cute and pawtistic

Nepeta: :33 < girls find me endearing beclaws i cant figure out social cues so theres always something off about me

Nepeta: :33 < girls are cattracted to my bizarre creature sounds i occasionally make

[hello-nichya-here]

Did Sia insult topic of autism somehow?

Oh honey, it's sooooooooo much worse than that.

Sia wanted to make a movie about an autistic girl that manages to connect to people/feel safe and confident through music. So far, nothing outrageous, just a simple concept that would obviously put Sia's music front and center while doing something nice and educating people on autism.

There was controversy about her not casting an autistic actress as it would have been nice representation, but she could have totally gotten away with that since, come on, hollywood hasn't even figured out Rain Man isn't exactly true to life, they're not ready to have an autistic person playing an autistic character. Baby steps.

The real problem started when Sia started promoting the "charity/support group" that was helping "educate" her on the topic to make the movie. The "charity" in question was Autism Speaks - which is absolutely HATED by the autistic community for things like:

1 - Spreading the myth that autism is a mental illness that one can develop/catch like the freaking flue and potentially be cured of, instead of a neurotype, aka something starts in the woomb and cannot be "cured" because to do that you'd need to replace someone's entire nervous system, which is impossible.

2 - Using that myth to get outrageous amounts of money from people so they "search for a cure" - that doesn't exist and will never exist because curing autism is biologically impossible, AND despite the fact that the overwhelming majority of autistic people don't even want to be "cured" (plus, since said "cure" would essentially mean giving the person a new brain, it leads to the question of "Would I even be the same person, or would that just kill and replace me?")

3 - Using the myth of "We don't know what causes autism" (we do, it's genetic) to, of course, get MORE money from people so they can "do research to find the missing puzzle piece" (if you ever see autistic people complaining about a puzzle piece being used to represent the condition, that's why, it was started by Autism Speak's massive disinformation campains).

4 - Falsely "confirming" things like soy milk cause autism with one of the world's most ridiculous "research", losing only to "vaccines totally make kids autistic, buy MY vaccine instead, guys, I am totally not an unbelievably biased person, it's ALL the other doctors/scientists lying to you. GIVE ME MONEY!"

5 - Pushing the narrative of "autism is inherently a tragedy" to distract from the fact that all the money they waste on stupid shit could be used to help autistic people and their families. Instead, they focus on creating more and more panic, making parents in particular despair even more - to the point that one of their "awareness videos" includes a mother talking about how she wants to murder her autistic daughter and then kill herself... while sitting right next to said daughter.

6 - Promoting ABA "therapy" - which was created by the same guy responsible for the attrocity that is gay conversion "therapy." Both have led to unbelievably high rates of confirmed PTSD and suicidal ideation in patients (victims), and ABA in particular has been compared to literal dog training. Very fitting since it was created by a guy who famously did not believe autistic people truly counted as thinking, feeling human beings, and said as much several times. Despite that, it is still praised by some utter bastards because "it makes the patients act less autistic when they're not crying in the corner or trying to jump out a window"

So yeah, working with these guys is a genuinely horrible thing to do since they're basically a scam/hate group pretending to be a charity - and people were STILL willing to give Sia the benefit of the doubt, since Autism Speak uses all their resources to make sure they're the first thing people see when looking up how to help autistic people.

Lots of Sia's fans, both autistic and allistic, warned her repeatedly, politely, that she needed to supporting them IMMEDIATELY as their goal was the exact opposite of the one she claimed to have - aka raise awareness through an accurate portrail of autism. People were even kind enough to name organizations like ASAN as replacements to help her fix any damage done to the project.

And instead of being a decent human being, Sia decided to cry on twitter about how the mean retar-I mean, autistics were bullying her even when she was so kindly using them for her vanity project.

Because yes, that's how the movie turned out. An unwatcheable piece of garbage, with the autistic "character" being so fucking bad even the people who actively use "autistic" as insulted being offended on our behalf - and of course, she was used just a prop to show how awesome Sia's character was.

Seriously, it was so bad the actress playing the autistic girl was sobbing in between scenes because she knew how it was horrible and she didn't want to insult anyone, but Sia is literally her godmother and helped her career by putting her in nearly all her music videos so she felt obligated to go along with it.

So yeah, fuck Sia and fuck Autism Speaks.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for ditching my best friend and not believing what they say?

My former best friend was great. We were the same age. We just got each other, and they never seemed to think I was weird as they were also autistic. They would regularly tell me they loved me and I trusted them. I trusted them to keep their word and to not be hypocritical, as they were also my confidant.

Not too long ago we got into an argument over a passing comment I had made about myself. They ended when they either took a break or I "won," but it didn't feel like winning. I was calm while they weren't afraid of insulting me. I thought we had agreed to disagree; I thought the best of them. But then they admitted that they would post things out of spite and ignore me even though they made a vent post about the same situation happening to them? (On this occasion they talked behind that person's back to a bunch of other people, then later said they talked it out)

Then they wanted me to "repent" about something i said a few months ago as a hypothetical, as in "an apology isn't enough" even though they already admitted beforehand that i was right and they agreed with me. They used our friendship as a bargaining chip. I don't know if it's related but they knew I had abandonment issues.

I was torn about choosing between my morals and their friendship. They were everything to me. I replied and left the internet for a few months, especially because they told me to leave the situation if I couldn't handle it. It was hard knowing that my depression before that incident was probably because they would regularly talk down to me and start arguments seemingly at random. I always responded to them and would send messages if they were "out of energy," when in reality they were shunning me.

It's a few months later and whenever I hear about anything they do I don't believe it at all, like them taking awhile to do something for a mutual friend. I don't even believe what they said before, that they loved me.

I feel bad about running away. I was having a breakdown and should've handled it better, but I fled like a coward. I also feel bad about the confidant thing--I was a burden for letting it show. They would sometimes say "I'm not your therapist" but also they were the one who inspired me to talk to people. (And they never said to stop telling them about myself)

It feels unfair to assume they're always wrong, too. Love to me is piecing together your friends like a puzzle and maybe not agreeing with them, but understanding.

I can't help but think they never loved me and instead wanted validation? Maybe I'm too harsh or I'm not understanding it, but the friendship was so bad at that point that I would barely flinch at the insults and instead compliment their "creativity." I hate to admit it, but I thought that them blowing up at me was... a privilege. Trusting me enough to show their true colors. I'll always remember how kind they were to me and I know I'll never find anyone else like them.

But still, AITA for running away? For unfairly assuming that they never tell the truth? One situation doesn't account for everything, right?

What are these acronyms?

[winndycakes]

I did not wish to make this, I do not wish to bring bad light to others, so I am doing everything I can in this statement to keep it as vague as possible to grant others the same privacy I should have. But because my privacy was not respected I have no choice but to come forward with this.

If you know what I am talking about, then this is my side of things. If you don't know what I am talking about, then please move on.

(Also to note, I realize what day I am posting this on. This is absolutely NOT a joke.)

To preface this. My dad died suddenly Feb 26th. I cannot begin to detail what it feels like to lose him, after I've lost many others, to try and handle my emotions and grief while also handling the logistics of his belongings and estate, all this while having to write this on top of it. If I come across as intense, this is why. 

I was in a discord server when it first opened. I dedicated a lot of time, energy, art and passion to it. I was even a mod at one point but stepped down due to my own reasons. 

While there, we had an anonymous survey posted to gather information from the community about the server, what we could do to improve, what was liked and so on. Instead, some used it as a means to anonymously complain about members. I was a target of these complaints. 

A quick note. This server was made within a community that has suffered MANY hardships due to anons. Keep this in mind.

One of the rules is that if you have a personal grievance with another member, to try to resolve it through DMs before coming to a mod or to even send in a ticket.

I must be clear; I was NEVER DMed by anyone how I made them uncomfortable. Not once. Nor were these complaints directly messaged to the mods. This was all through the survey (I will touch up more on this later).

I and other staff/mods that used to be on the team suggested we remove the anonymity. It's too risky for it to be abused, because as noted earlier, this community has suffered a lot through abuse from anons. This suggestion was ignored.

Now, I suppose I should say what the complaints were about. I was told I made others uncomfortable due to, and I am paraphrasing here; "talking over others, redirecting conversations back to myself and my ocs, and making too many jokes and insults about characters."

I will also say. I am autistic. What was mentioned are signs of someone with autism. My dad was autistic. I do not bring this up to deflect or excuse anything, merely to give further context.

I want to explain a bit of my process when I interact with others, in this case especially pertaining to an online space.

When I am talking with someone, anyone, I try to be as inclusive and welcoming as I can be. Saying hello, how they’re doing, that sort of thing. But a conversation is a two way street. If I don’t get a reply or any sort of means to keep the conversation going, I move on. That’s just… how talking goes. I can get very passionate in talking to folks, especially friends and things in line with my interests. It’s hard for me to notice if folks are uncomfortable in person, online it is impossible to tell. I need people to tell me directly if I am doing something uncomfortable and what it is, and if I can fix it.

My process for ocs is this: I see someone talking about their oc, they say something that reminds me of one of mine, then I share my oc. This is not to direct the conversation to me, but to share in it, it is in conjunction. I want to learn more of yours and I do that best by sharing mine. I cannot know if this isn't what you want if I am not told. And I wasn't.

I like to make jokes about characters, analyze them, critique them. I try to do this in a way that makes it clear this isn't an insult to those who like the character(s). But again, I need to be told directly by someone if I need to stop or tone it down. I would only be told sparingly by folks, and when I would, of course I'd stop, do my best to tone it down. But again, I was rarely told directly by people.

What is being described as my crimes are simply the experience of being autistic.

I cannot control it. I cannot stop it. I try to be as inclusive, warm and welcoming to all I come across. You do not HAVE to like me. But if you don't, just ignore me. You HAVE to learn to ignore people who you just… don't like. You have to learn to ignore pet peeves or to reasonably talk to the person. That's life.

So, when I received the above message, I was furious. I was at my dad’s apartment, cleaning out his stuff, and dealing with some harrowing emotions when I got this. I responded that getting this was extremely poor timing and yes, I was angry. But the one who sent this KNEW my dad died. They had seen me post about it, they acknowledged it, and still decided to message me. Who wouldn’t be angry?

Because of what I had been messaged, and the timing, I had decided to go to the owner of the server. I did not feel like it was appropriate for a mod, any mod, to message me about something that is a personal issue that folks should have messaged me themselves (and again, it is listed in the rules that things SHOULD be talked out privately between members before a mod gets involved), in a time that has been hell on earth for me.

I explained to the server owner what all happened with my feelings on the matter. I said that regardless, I would leave the server, because this was something that no one, absolutely no one, should experience. I requested for anything I contributed to the server to be removed, for I no longer felt comfortable for folks to use my art who could be the very same ones pettily using an anonymous survey to speak ill of me. So I sent my message, waited, and got a response.

I do not have anything against the server owner, but there are a few things that I must address with their response as well, because some are factually incorrect. There is full admittance to the complaints received through the anonymous survey, most recently at that. This goes counter to the rules stated that members should resolve private disputes amongst themselves first. (Again please note the screenshots of the rules.)

While perhaps not all of the mods knew of my dad’s passing, but enough DID that they should have known better. I posted briefly in the server in a slow thread so it could be better seen by people, including the mods. I had posted on tumblr as well. But the claim is no one saw it. 

Again. This is just not true. Look to the above screenshots.

I do not have a screenshot of when I had sent the message initially in the server of my dad’s passing (I apologize for this), but the point being is that people knew. Another member messaged me in DMs to give their condolences. While I am and have been open about his passing, I also tried my best to not talk too much about it in the server as to bring down the mood, and I sought out the server and talked there as a source of comfort. Saying this was not clear to anyone, is false.

Now, I am sorry that I made people uncomfortable, it was never my intention to, and I will take fault in that. That isn’t what I mean to address in all this. The issue is; if people were uncomfortable, they needed to follow the rules and come to me DIRECTLY stating such, NOT give these complaints through an anonymous survey. And that I should NOT have been told during such an awful period. How can I take this at face value when I am not offered the same?

I wish to point out as well, why I kept bringing up the anonymous survey, and to bring back a note I made earlier.

There is a great deal of falsehood in using an anonymous survey to gather information, when this community has experienced a lot of hardship from anons. I have seen many people torn down and even chased out of this community and others because of people hiding behind anon. Creators, fans, and yes members, mods and even the server owner have all been victim to negativity from anons. 

Now, I also must bring attention to this.

This is a screenshot I was sent of another mod posting, after I left. This is ABSOLUTELY NOT OKAY. This is why I feel the need to make this statement. Giving details like this is completely unnecessary, and with this said after I left is unacceptable.

I am sorry to be redundant, but I truly am sorry if I ever did make people uncomfortable. All I wanted to do was to make friends and share in the joy in creating art and characters with others. To share space in a community with something I truly found enjoyable. It’s why I’d get enthusiastic whenever OC’s were brought up and I’d share mine. I also wanted to share joy in the topic of the server, and yes some of that for me IS making jokes about characters or even giving critique.

I am not saying any of this to bad mouth or slander anyone. I say all of this to express my side of things. Someone who is grieving the loss of their dad, and so many others who came before him that are making me remember now because of his passing.

[kairiscorner]

I don’t know if your reqs are open because your desc says one thing and your pinned says another so please feel free to ignore this 😭 but if you are taking reqs I’d love to see headcanons for spider noir x autistic!gn!reader if you could? Thank you so much I love your work have a great day <33

HELLO !! sorry for the confusion, i cleared it up now though, as of rn, bot requests are open, fic requests are closed, however TT I'M SO SORRY FOR THE CONFUSION AAAA AND I HOPE I DO THIS JUSTICE <:DD please feel free to correct me if i get anything wrong, i'll change it if need be, i have no intention of insulting or harming anyone, even by accident ^^

when you opened up to noir that you had autism, he was a little surprised at first. he never meant it in a mocking or disgusted way, he was just unsure of what to do to keep you comfortable now that he was aware you had autism, and was worried if the stuff he used to do with or to you before ever put you off about him or made you uncomfortable. he only ever wants to make you comfortable around him, never unsettle or hurt you in ways he didn't realize.

but when you opened up more to him, explained to him what you were uncomfortable with and told him he was fine, that he didn't do anything to ever make you uncomfortable–in fact, he was one of the most kindhearted and and loving people you've ever met that hardly overwhelmed you–he felt so relieved, but still eager to help make things easier and more comfortable for you as much as he can, because he truly does care about you.

if you had an issue with certain foods, he wouldn't force you to eat it nor find it strange. he'd adjust to your preferences and needs as much as possible, and he'd be so patient about it, truly <:) he's down to eating the food you wouldn't like or pick apart from the rest of what you like :D

when you're experiencing a sensory overload when you two are out and about, he'd immediately take you away from that place and hand you everything you need--your headphones if you needed them to get away from all the noise, sunglasses to lessen the intensity of the bright lights around you, and whatever else you needed to comfort you.

he wouldn't touch you out of the blue, unless you state otherwise--that you're okay with it--and instead, he'd hang around you, just a little closely, and admire you from a distance. if you'd let him touch you, he'd always be careful and mind the areas you're okay and not okay with him touching you at, he'd never overstep any boundaries between you two and would ensure your comfort over everything, every time.

if you had an issue with "coming off as blunt or rude", peter wouldn't be too offended by what you say. he knows some people may misunderstand you often, just as how you may misunderstand them and what they mean. peter is very open to helping you word out your feelings, your thoughts, in ways that won't sound offensive but still get what you mean to say in the closest context possible. he also helps explain to you some things that you may take literally, and he doesn't mind if you don't get it at first, he honestly would struggle sometimes to understand some sayings without their context, too.

he lets you do things on your own as well, of course. he doesn't worry too much about you when you say you're capable of doing this and that on your own. he'll only worry when you don't speak to him for a long while, longer than usually, because he understands you need or want to be alone at times--but if you suddenly stop talking for a long while, he does get worried until you clear it up to him at some point.

when you explain to him that on some days or moments you go non-verbal, wherein you use gestures or your body language to communicate with him what you need, he had mixed feelings at first--mainly anxiety because he worries mixing up your gestures and disappointing or discomforting you and blaming himself. but when you assure him you wouldn't be mad if he didn't understand at first, he got a lot calmer about it, and when you went non-verbal on him sometimes, he actually found it quite fun communicating with you in ways that words could never get across. though he misses your voice sometimes, he likes to see you express yourself more freely with your body language compared to words, which in a way, do limit thoughts as compared to actions.

HE'S ALSO SUPER INTERESTED IN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE A SPECIAL INTEREST IN IF YOU HAVE ANY !! peter's a very curious guy, and seeing as how he already finds you super interesting, everything else you love and find interest in is, by proxy, very intriguing for him. if you'd go on and on about something you loved, HE'D PULL UP A CHAIR AND WITH A SMILE PATIENTLY LISTEN TO YOU TALK ABOUT IT <3 he'd develop an interest and gain knowledge about it, too, so it's a win-win for you both :DD

at the end of the day, he's always here for you, no matter what you need or what you want--he'd do it and give it to you, not just because you sometimes need his help, but because he truly does love you and care about you and wants to make you feel safe, comfortable, and happy around him <:))

a/n: I HOPE I DID THIS WELL, I'M SORRY IF IT'S INACCURATE OR WRONG 😭😭😭again, don't hesitate to correct me on it if you see anything wrong with it! i don't intend on hurting anyone, so any and all corrections are welcome ^v^

tags !! @thecoolerdor @miguelswifey04 @sabcandoit @binibinileonara @k4tsu3 @fictarian @maxoloqy @luvstarrstruck @ii01vq @connors-cumslurper

[sketchbook-of-shadows]

As a slasher girlie and analogue horror girlie, I can tell you with certainty that urbanSPOOK's "The Painter" is not very slasher-inspired in the tiniest despite what they say. Don't get me wrong, the artwork in itself is good but uh, for the things I'm gonna talk about a bit I'm gonna put a warning for the mention of CSA, SA/Animal related SA topics, I'm not going into much detail for these but I understand it's a very sensitive topic for some people

I'm not exactly keen on taking someone's excuses for their lazy work (aka making an analogue shock horror horror series just to sell merch of their artwork and also financially benefitting [merch and YouTube ad revenue] from really obvious implications of csa & sa/animal related sa in their work & on their merchandise while not even implementing it respectfully and using it only for shock value) by someone who still uses 2016 edgelord insults like 'autistic furry' in response to any amount of criticism because of said disrespect and distastefulness towards that topic.

Even after watching videos from people such as Hey Peter, Pastra & Wendigoon, I agree that the series has some moments where it showed potential but unfortunately the creator seems to be too lazy to implement a decent/cohesive storyline and resorts to shock value for their horror aspect. It's not horror, it's just nasty, disgusting and not well or respectfully implemented. At one point I couldn't tell if this was a horror story that they had passion for or if it were just some fucked up fetish they were putting out on the internet.

I don't recommend it, go watch Greylock, Vita Carnis or Gemini Home Entertainment and save yourself the displeasure.

[antiradqueer]

at some points i genuinely think the radqueer community has turned into a sort of maladaptive, harmful way of escaping from reality, if that makes sense. not in a "haha look at these delusional losers" way this is a serious problem that they really need to get therapy or /healthy/ coping mechanisms or some kind of help for.

like they've gotten sucked into a vacuum of "anything and everything needs a label if you don't have all these 3813481348034803480 labels in your label hoard with an in-depth understanding of every single one of them you're not /really/ radqueer you're probably a troll", for one. it's fun to collect tons and tons of labels (i do that! im literally agender and bi and celarsian and xenogender and librafluid and a billion other things) but there's a point where a fun hobby that you engage with casually and healthily turns into an obsession that you can't see yourself living with out and you use to fill a void in your life instead of actually getting help.

this is made worse by the fact that whenever people point this out to them to try and help, they instantly get defensive and act like you're trying to attack them - they've demonized any form of help or therapy or even coping mechanisms (besides "im gonna write porn of an irl minor to cope :3333" which... sure is a thing /neg) to the point where just mentioning "hey maybe you could try some coping mechanisms" will get you banned from a server and get you put on a callout post calling you ableist and anti-radqueer and a TERF and whatever the hell else they decide to pretend you are (i know because this happened to me).

the way this differs from the mogai/liom communities, since ik they're gonna compare it to that, is that the mogai/liom communities are created out of an actual desire to label part of your identity. most transids are not (with the exception of things like "transrace" or "transage" because those often are actually trying to label a part of their identity, although they're usually going about it in the wrong way, but that's not the point right now). im talking transjob and transopinion and transship and transwhatiateforbreakfastthismorning and whatever else - these are so hyperspecific and meaningless to the point where, or lack of a better phrase, it's honestly insulting to the entire concept of transids in a way. i don't support transids, but i can very easily tell what the major transids were originally intended to label (actual dysphoria/a feeling of "this isn't who i am"/etc, ignoring the way they go about helping their dysphoria because oftentimes it's not good at all) and it is very different from the transids being coined now (a coping mechanism turned maladaptive, unhealthy obsession disguised as "it's just for fun, let people live!!").

transid coiners coin these things and add meaningless things to their hoards constantly. it's like they've run out of actual bandages to cover up an injury and started grabbing at everything they could find. and when you try to offer to help them get therapy or learn coping mechanisms or anything besides mentally draining and destroying themselves, they scream at you that you're ableist and homophobic and anti-radqueer and just as bad as a real-life nazi because you want to help them feel better.

the transid community, as it started out, was more like oculoids. i know this because i was in the transid community when it just started out. people were entirely against people lying about their physical age, people were entirely against chrono-adults dating chrono-minors, they were entirely against people lying about their physical race, hell they were even super skeptical of transautistic and transadhd or whatever when those terms first circulated and everyone was at least fully against pretending to actually be autistic and against transautistics identifying as autigender.

and, somewhere along the line, that changed - and young, traumatized kids (because yes, all the people coining transjob and transopinion and whatever are entirely children, i've seen people as young as fucking /eleven/ in this community and i've rarely seen anyone above 14) found a coping mechanism in the community. it was like, okay, fun! coining terms can be fun! it can be a fun coping mechanism, just like any other form of art is (because i consider flag making and coming up with names for terms and other aspects of coining art), but it should be just that. a fun hobby. something you do occasionally, you shouldn't do it constantly and you shouldn't use it as your only coping mechanism and you shouldn't shut out every other form of help or therapy or coping just to coin things to fill the void in your life.

these transid coiners are traumatized, lonely children. im not trying to be demeaning or make fun of them, but they are all young children/teens. they need /actual/ help, because exclusively coining tons and tons of meaningless terms (and yes, terms like "transship" and "transfashion" are 100% meaningless) while in a community full of plenty of people hiding in there, disguising themselves as their friends, looking for vulnerable people to take advantage of, is unhealthy as hell. obsessing over your hundreds of extremely obscure transids that don't mean anything to you or anyone else and that you probably couldn't even name half of is unhealthy. coining can be a good coping mechanism, yes! but not when it's used as your /only/ coping mechanism and your /only/ source of happiness and comfort.

if you're translovecore or transpilot or transmonikaxsayori or whatever and that means a lot to you for whatever reason but you aren't using transids as your only outlet, then cool, you aren't really part of the root problem. a little weird, and i don't understand it at all, but honestly not inherently harmful like some other transids.

to transid people - please read this and you find yourself relating to any of this, get help. not in a "you're delusional" or "you're weird" way, you genuinely need healthy coping mechanisms and some form of help and comfort because it's unhealthy to obsess over and center your life around /anything/ this much.

this turned into an entire essay gah damn i should've started this with "transid community bad, yes? in this essay i will,"

Now this is what im talking about, hope you dont mind me crosstagging lol

[yawnderu]

I am so sorry about this, but you have opened a floodgate, and you are going to get so many more ramblings off of me

With the topic of skins, it would be really interesting to see what people can come up with, as I know that since KorTac is a PMC they have less strict rules around the uniform compared to something like Taskforce 141, so skins will be able to balance that out. Plus skins can be used in so many ways to even show relationships between characters and to show the character's personality. We have already seen in-game characters wear glorified fursuits, but what if people choose a specific animal for their OC as that animal represents the OC's personality. Or, for religious OCs, they could have religious inspired skin; e.g. for a Catholic OC could have a skin based on Angels where they themselves are an Angel. Or, a skin could be used to subtly convey the OC's backstory without it being directly stated, with a skin being inspired by something like Medusa. Or, a skin could be used to convey the OC's background as it could be very interesting to see a K-9 handler from Taskforce 141 have a skin with their dog or dogs based on a wild hunt that the Fae had. Or, OCs could have opposing skins with a character to represent how they do not like each other and are enemies; I will just use one of my OCs as an example, as he has a dislike for König, who hates him as much back, and I was thinking to represent that he would have a skin based on a deer but a "cursed" one as I was raised with stories about wrong deers, this skin would be in reference to König's The Wolf skin as wolves hunt deers which shows how the OC seems like he would be weak against König, but the horror aspects show that no unlike what it seems he can hold his own

Also, you mentioning casual clothing reminded me of the Senpai Ghost skin, and it would be very fun to see more characters and OCs in casual clothing as it shows what they are like in a none military setting

And with the point of accessories, they could wear or add them to their weapon(s) and that could add so much personality. Someone like Stray could wear a small spider charm as a reference to König, who, in return, wears a small cat charm as he found Stray like she was some kind of stray cat that needed a home. I know for another OC of mine, I wanted to add a kingfisher onto his design somewhere as a way to show his allegiance to Makarov and how he basically belongs to the terrorist as one of Makarov's aliases was Kingfish, and kingfisher sounds extremely close to it without directly saying "Looky here I belong Makarov!" and because kingfish are ugly

Plus, it would be so fun to see OCs with specialised voice lines based on whether they killed a specific character they like or hate. I always hated that we never got that in multiplayer, as I would love to see Ghost say something about revenge for Soap when killing Makarov. Or, OCs saying lines that are based on their beliefs that you would expect them to say to others if they were in the campaign. Or, lines they would say to another character or something they would say to other characters about said character. Using the OC I used as an example in the skins, a lot of his voice lines relating to König would be insults as those two are known at KorTac for always poking jabs at one another and when I write about things relating to the two I always make sure I add that (like when König talked about being both Austrian and German, as I headcanon his mutter is Austrian while his father is German, my OC's reply was "Hahe, what are we going to find out next? That you were rejected from art school before you decided to join?" because he has the autistic issue of having absolutely no filter)

Now, I want to finish my OCs' biographies by Saturday, as you have given me so much motivation, and then I could post the trend ideas since I now want to hear about Stray's or K-9's skins and what voice lines they would have

Sorry about how long this was but you have given me so many ideas and I now want to just ramble about it

U scratch a part of my autistic brain SO fucking much omg I love it

YESYES!! MW3 especially has started going all out with the skins, I have bought so many skin and gun bundles simply because they're pretty, one of my proudest buys have been Senpai Ghost and that decora girl, besides all the anime guns BNGRHJBFFE

Ahhh yes!! I think the MW universe has a lot of potential when it comes to creating many different OCs and even wilder skins now that the multi-player doesn't care about being an accurate representation of war, I'd love to see more stuff like that :3

Accessories are so nice!! Charms or gun buddies would be such a cool concept that adds A LOT of personality to the characters and even OCs, and like you said, it could also be used as a subtle way of knowing more about the character's relationships or allegiances with others.

THE HITLER JAB IS KILLING ME 😭😭😭 it's so blunt, I absolutely love it jkefhjbef YEAH!! I truly wish we got to see more about character's relationships based on voice lines, the same way we get to know A LOT about their personalities and speech patterns. Bit of a nerd ramble, but I absolutely love the way Simon says ''bastard'' a lot, and how calm he is even when he's bleeding out, it's one of my favorite parts about playing him, that ''stay with it... it's nothing...'' voice line when he's about to die and sounds so out of breath makes me fawn every single time, he's such a level-headed soldier.<3

Ohhhh I'm happy to heart that I've inspired you!! <3

OH?? 👀

K-9 is more of a chill and lowkey soldier while on the field, only using SAS-provided uniform, I don't really see her using anything extra despite the fact that she does wear a white coat and regular civilian clothes when she's in base. She gets to go all out when she's not deployed, more of a corporate goth.

Her voice lines definitely would include A LOT of sass and you can tell she's done with everything and everyone, especially the 141 lads despite the fact that she actually enjoys working with them, even if it doesn't seem like it.

Stray... well, if we're going based on the fact that MW3 skins are more wild and less accurate to war, she'd definitely wear something that shows off her arms and stomach, simply because she's proud of all the hard work she puts to make her body strong. I can also see her using something like Ela's elite skin, from R6, though I can also see her wearing something similar to Kali's elite skin! Voice lines would definitely be cocky, very similar to König but even more mocking rather than arrogant. She's one hell of a soldier and she knows it, though being in a hyper-masculine environment for pretty much her entire youth made her even more confident, mocking other soldiers for being taken down by ''a little girl''— something that was used by other soldiers to try and put her down.

[katyspersonal]

If I had a nickel for every time a person that quite seriously helped with public slandering and humiliating me for fake ass reasons, supported drastically ableist stance on me and took the side of my stalker (that also I remind you bullied other fans for headcanons) then got upset and "insulted" at the fact that I vented about how much they hurt me and my friends, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but what the actual fuck.

Like... Maybe consider not spyoning on a blog of a person that "makes you uncomfy"? You will be happier if you don't check up on things and people you hate, seriously. And if you do, why you act so shocked that I express my pain and disapproval of your actions and mindset, the very same that hurt me and my friends? In fact, why DOES it hurt you to learn what I think and feel after your words and actions? Why do you CARE about feelings and opinion of a person you despise and disrespect so much that you deemed them worthy of all this, and even their friends deserve to be hurt by association? Like... NOW you consider my feelings? Of course I fucking disapprove of backstabbing me and my friends after over month of pretending to forgive me. Of course I fucking disapprove admission that you are willing to help slandering and humiliating a person that you were not even scared and hurt by. I wrongly assumed that if you hated me that much, I must have actually done something wrong, but now I know I still didn't because you admitted that you were willing to harm someone and even shun their friends without even as much as hard feelings, because they are a "heretic"?

Is what hurts that I had very high opinion on you and then flipped on a dime when something drastic came out? But isn't it the same way for you? Didn't you both like my blog and thought I was cool and then one day it was over? I think it is safe to assume that unfortunately it can work like that. And everything can be fixed and worked into neutrality and 'cold peace' coexistence, but you don't want that. You'd rather keep getting upset and self-isolate from everyone that likes my company, or isolate them from me, so this hole just keeps growing and growing and all good things that could have been keep falling into it. Or you really expect me to leave just because of all this? When I was a kid and a teen and a bit of a young adult, I've dealed with bullying to the point of having literal stones thrown into me, and never once I avoided the places where it was happening. Because it made no logical sense that some jerks could decide who belongs or not belongs in a place that is for everyone. I tried to enjoy my time anyway. I was not, listening and enduring all that, but I tried. Sometimes I'd get really bad for me and I'd snap and fight back, and I remember they were scared when I did because anger of cornered rat is a terrifying thing you know? One time it got especially bad with one of them and I snatched the bat from her hands and smacked HER over the face, worse than she hurt me but I've had enough. Then finally adults bothered to get involved, and what I received from the bullies was "but why didn't she just leave this area? :(" Why the question is "why won't you go away?" instead of "why I feel entitled to bully out a person that didn't even do anything bad to me but just makes me uncomfy with not being like us?"

In the end, I walked a full circle. Some autists just have a power of bringing out the worst in people with how much they don't understand unspoken social cues, cultural rifts, even the language and semantics often times. I have a friend with similar problem, he had a bad luck of using combination of words that make people go blind from rage without meaning to, and you find out he actually made a perfect logical sense after talking to him for context and reasoning. I thought it was a curse, but it is a blessing. I decided I will never fix what is "wrong" with me, if it really helped to separate fakers from real ones in such a short time. Without it, I'd be friends with traitors, cowards, bullies, fools, conformists and stalkers. And the worst part, I would not ever learn it.

Yet again: you are NOT harmed by me venting in MY blog about how I was hurt by your words and actions. If you two were okay with slander and public humiliation of someone and their friends, sure you must be okay with someone venting about actual harm. Or else you have double standards. You are not supposed to care about what I think about you either, you are supposed to crawl into your Discord groups to share screenshots of my posts and mock me there for "being so butthurt" like your kind of people always does. And if you do not want me to hold grudges, you've had enough chances to neutralize me. I was not having you blocked for a good reason. But you chose to keep throwing stones. Too bad for you, I've been trained for this shit, when your spoiled soft asses cry harm and trauma over a single slightly negative experience. Heck, over even reading something you don't like!

Here is a thing: I do not namedrop you. I only namedropped two people when it was relevant, and only because they made themselves public first so I didn't "out" them. And if some people read "he reblogged posts bullying me 50 times too often and was too eager to hate on me, like to the point it was scary" and instantly think of you, then consider what reputation you have. Why? Why? Why you'd throw me (and. my. FRIENDS.) to the wolves and then get angry that I react? Tell me why! It is your problem that you are willing to harm people willy-nilly without considering their feelings or bothering to actually learn whether they deserve stalking and bullying and their friends getting collateral damage, and in the end you don't even have the honor to be genuinely mad and scared as your motivation for it. It is """not personal""". So getting unhealthy obsession with helping slandering me was "not personal"? So acting oh-so-supportive towards my friend who got to talk about her identity and then instantly dropping her upon learning she was interacting with me, after previously having been thankful to her for being one of the first to support YOU, was "not personal"? And the worst thing, I believe it. This is just your Tiktok generation of cruel, overly-judgemental people. You did not get to learn about real life and real relationship and real complexities, and you never will. And I was such a fool doubting myself thinking that you were scared of me.

So tell me why. Tell me why NOW you care what I think of you? Why you care that I vent in MY blog, without namedropping? Why you care what I say and feel if I am nothing but a name of "heretic" to block and pass along for you, a person you don't know and don't think has feelings and nuance worthy of considering before mistreating? Why do you CARE about my opinion? Is this because I effects your self-image? But I am just a stupid bigot in your eyes, so how can my opinion have any power or credibility for you? Are you scared that people will find out? But I do not namedrop! Are you upset that "I don't know you" to say such things? But you do not know ME, and yet that didn't stop you from accepting and helping to spread extremely hateful and uncharitable headcanons about my personality, beliefs and motives your friends crafted, so clearly you are okay with "saying things"? Why? TELL ME WHY! Tell me how it is supposed to hurt you, because it does NOT! The worst I can do is to yell at you and run away crying, and I didn't even do THAT!

Unless I just did, because yet again you decided to sneak around and check my blog. Dude, you hate acknowledging my existence to you point of abandoning mutuals that answer my asks, so why would you check my blog? Just don't do that? Just not check it? There were 4 coincidences about your art that made me think that you were snooping on my content, I am helpful with the lore I know, and took some stuff for inspiration, and one time was passively-aggressive about how I drew a certain female character. But I've got a relief that no, they were all coincidences, and you were not stalking me. So now I have to worry about it again? So I should give into my paranoia, because there was a reason in the end?

Just go away, okay? Just go away. The alter that grew from guilt and pain, and admiration, that you've triggered, is dead, anyhow. It was painful and felt like getting the whole entirety erased and written again, but it's done, so you don't have to worry about it either. Just not sneak on a person you dislike, because, again, me venting without namedropping won't effect you, nor you should care what "just another heretic" thinks. I am not a human for people like you, after all your drama-hungry kind does, and stop pretending that I am. My friends aren't either, they are just "traitors" that refuse to cooperate for your group, and I hate every single conformist bastard that blocked them by association. Not you, them. I won't have a gaslighting of "it is not us vs them!!!!" when actions speak louder than words, and all effected people know what they did.

So far I do not have an incentive to stop digging myself deeper into a hole of "wronged intellectual" self-image, which is a bold claim for someone with quite large intellectual disability as myself, I know. But none of this makes any sense, and doubting that maybe I just don't get something about people availed me nothing. I do get it, society IS just as bad as it seems, deny it or not.

[ieatadoptmepets]

britta using a deaf girl abed liked to win some stupid challenge and then patting herself on the back by saying she "gave a differently abled person a job" really pissed me off.

britta has always been a fake performative activist and I recall hate it. britta herself though, this isn't a jab to the writers or her actor who all made britta. first season, she builds her whole personality on being an activist but she doesn't make any effort to do anything for the causes she talks about, then gets upset when annie and shirley start doing something for it and get interested in activism because they take away her thunder, and only then did she start trying to do real things to support her causes.

she calls herself a feminist but actively tears down women who doesn't fit her rigid standards of how to be a woman, much like the people she claims to be against. she'll turn against her friends and insult them and their family for sucking up to the oppressive male dominated patriarchy and destroying what it means to be a woman, when they were just gonna get makeovers with their mom. she'll embarrass herself and get into unnecessary fights to prove a bs point because a woman showed an extra inch of chest to get more money for a cause they both support. any instance of a woman (this goes for all non men of course (i say this as an afab trans person) but trans people haven't been ever mentioned in the show) not hating themself for being a woman, not hating their cis afab bodies, not repressing their sexuality and attraction and doing what they want even if it lines up with what a sexist man might want to see, she hates it. she treats it like women can only be happy when they are the opposite of what the patriarchy says, putting them all into the same kind of strict oppressive state, just with opposite rules.

she treats herself like she's better than anyone else simply for just being britta and refuses to even acknowledge that people are different. she constantly forces abed to function in her fake therapist neurotypical ways when her and the group fully know he's autistic and handles things differently. when he warps reality in his mind to cope, she doesn't worry more on how he commonly gets so stressed out or overwhelmed with hard situations or feelings that he has breakdowns that convince him of false realities or that he chooses to believe in realities he knows are false because he has no idea how to cope, she obsesses over how he's not coping by the book and will yell and chase him down to get him to speak his feelings, something she should is hard for him to do, in a way she knows he can't do. speaking more and abed for a minute, it was so sad when troy left because he said no one gets abed and he only got him a little bit. as an autistic, abed makes the most sense and is the best character. it's sad that no one gets him and treats him like a pet or baby.

branching off what I said before, she acts like she does the most political change but doesn't do jack shit. she admits that she doesn't even vote and still does nothing for change unless it's momentary and gives her popularity and the spotlight. she says she's an anarchist or at least a former one but she still keeps up that talk even after abandoning it, and then she has an existential crisis after seeing that her former anarchist buddies are judgemental and decide her worth based on how much activism and protests she's done (none). just in the meowmeowbeanz episode, she stages a revolution to bring everyone back to equal, but when jeff got everyone to delete the app and revert back to a rateless system, she lost her mind that people were moving to the bigger cause behind her instead of treating her as a higher entity instead of focusing on a bigger cause that actuality helps people.

this was just a rant on britta, any britta opinions are welcome. the show is still enjoyable with hey but there are often parts that piss me off. and this isn't argument or discourse, please don't take this in a hostile tone

[awetistic-things]

Ahhh since venting is allowed i have been wondering this for few months

Why do adults autistics ALWAYS ( maybe not always, most of the time ) shame people who don't up ?

For example those who have scientific interests, who are really good at math and loves it, who are not afraid of speaking of what the belive in even if it means that they may loose people around them, those who are won't go crazy mad if they got called childish ( come on, who decided that being childish is even an insult ? ) ...etc

And i can put it in other words : people who won't hide who they really are just to take apart of the society who never thought of them as real people and have "friends" just not to be lonely

Listen, i understand that they do it because of the harsh struggles they go through, and so does all autistics.

But what i'm trying to say is, why must they shame people who don't want to mask ? Like yeah, i knew i was going to get hated for the things i said when my teacher asked and i didn't hestate to say what i thought of honestly, i'm not an idiot, i'm aware of what will that cause me

i just prefer being honest to myself because the hell everyone see me as dump for not understanding their cummon sense, everyone including those who were supposed to understand how each of us feels shamed me for "sterotyping autistics".

Why should I mask myself up just to please them while the only person who loved and tried to do their best to get me to be better, aka me, will be thrown away behind that fake mask ?

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk ( autism memes aside, seriousily guys, stop this)

hi 👋🏼

i understand what you’re saying and it can be incredibly frustrating especially when you’re being put down by your own community

i have come across some autistics who judge other autistics based on whether or not they choose to mask

i think whenever they have a negative attitude towards non-masking, it’s mainly just internalized ableism (manifesting in shame) that they’re projecting onto other autistic people

i have also had some problems with “reinforcing stereotypes” about autistic people while non-masking before. whether that be from me hand-flapping, wearing headphones, having trouble verbally communicating, or something else

considering the generalizations, and thus stereotypes, that have arose from these decently common autistic behaviors, it can sometimes make me want to mask these behaviors to prove some type of mislead point that “we don’t all act that way!”

this mindset took a while for me to dismantle as i had to come to terms with the fact that showcasing my autistic traits isn’t a bad thing, and being “stereotypical” isn’t either

however, i do think that there are many factors that can contribute to people who mask—especially when they feel as if they have no other choice—but i do also think that people shouldn’t project the negative feelings they might have towards people who don’t mask, and vice versa

overall, it’s a complicated topic with many causes and many reasons, but it’s important to support our fellow autistics into doing whatever is best for them (whether that be masking or not masking) rather than shame one-another (edit: not saying you’re shaming anyone, i’m talking about in general with the autistic community)

[imvriix]

could I get guts, griffith, and casca hcs for them with an autistic reader? stuff they do include avoiding eye contact frequently, SO MUCH info dumping, seeming blunt/rude without meaning to, buffering/standing still for a few minutes sometimes, reliance on rules, pacing/walking aimlessly a lot, mimicking others behaviors to seem ‘normal’, being very sympathetic towards animals/people, no sense of direction, and bringing up the most random things during any situation? also maybe even something about swords being their special interest ɷ◡ɷ berserk is set in European medieval times I think so perhaps they would be considered an oddball or weird.

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" 𝔦𝔣 𝔦𝔱 𝔥𝔢𝔩𝔭𝔰 . . . "

contains + featuring ;; — griffith, guts, casca x autistic! gn! reader [ seperate, golden age arc ]

a/n ;; — took me ages to start this since im in a bad authors block atm, sorry. hope the actual headcannons make up for it though.

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    ⋆*･ﾟ:     :✧*⋆   ･ﾟ

guts —

i think he'd just sit, very very confused, as you ramble on about different things that caught your eye during the day.

he kind of nods along but he really can't process anything, hes mostly all big muscle man rather than brains but he lets you go on about the ' exact angle he should polish his sword from ' because it seems to make you happy somehow.

" if it helps, you should probably tilt the sword by holding the hilt like this, and then you start polishing from this end to this, but in this direction instead. "

" .. yeah, okay. "

he tries to keep up, he really does, but he just can't.

if you get flustered due to making eye contact, i think he'd feel so much proud about causing that and being the reason.

i also think he'd find it so funny when you outright insult corkus without even knowing you had, he'd probably even mock him about it afterwards.

but if it was towards him he'd just sigh and ruffle your hair.

he'd find it weird if you dose off and just stand in one position in dead silence and stillness right after pacing around, he'd probably try snap you out of it and bring you back to the real world.

although he doesn't even bother asking what it was about because he'd know he wouldn't understand either way.

he'd try and keep you happy as well as he can, but he will beat the ass of anyone that calls you weird. i don't think anyone would really even dare to when they see he has a particular liking for you, but if they did, they'd have dug their own grave.

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casca —

she'd be happy to listen to whatever you say, she'd just be glad you were able to talk to her so freely about whatevers on your mind.

she'd be so proud about it too, thinking about little things you seem to enjoy or do by habit.

if you ever locked eyes with her just to quickly look away, she wouldn't say anything about it but she'd smile warmly as if to tell you that you could trust her.

she'd always lecture you about not getting lost, she'd be so worried about you not being there and she'd look around for you the entire day.

it gets to the point that she makes you hold her hand so you dont wander off as easily.

athough it was partly so that she'd get to hold your hand, but she left that out.

she'd find it adorable how you seem to be fond of and care for animals. she doesn't get why you like them as much as you do, but she'd much rather you like them than be cruel towards them.

she also listens to your recommendations about using her sword and the types of weapons, as she always aims to become stronger due to her leaving womanhood behind.

she also likes it when you put your hands on hers while she clutches the hilt of her sword so you can try help with how she's holding it.

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griffith —

loves loves loves when you ramble on about your interests.

he properly discusses whatever your talking about with you, he just loves learning more and more about you and memorising every little detail you provide.

he just doesn't get bored talking to you, and its so much more different compared to many others talking to him with jealousy and fake superiority.

lots of the time, he already knows everything about what your conversation topic is, but he still lets you talk to him about it because there's no bigger reward than seeing you all happy and excited.

" hey, griffith? did you know dolphins sleep with one eye open? "

he probably did because he read it somewhere, but he stills smiles and says no as you begin to talk, visibly giddy.

we all know griffith seems to like being in charge and listened to, so he'd be happy with you relying on whatever he tells you to do.

he'd also find your interest in swords really interesting, and it wouldn't hurt to take note of the things you tell him about the different fighting techniques you could use with them either.

he gets to improve his skills and listen to you talk to him, two birds with one stone.

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[jewishgir]

going over that really notorious Klance fanfic Dirty Laundry on the podcast and I'm fucking tired of sitting on these thoughts for so long so here's a rundown because I am trying to sleep but can't because I'm thinking about this shit fic:

accusations of ableist and racist stereotypes aside (meaning EVEN IF we assume these accusations are false) this fic has some of the worst (sincere) writing I've ever seen. not hyperbole. not exaggeration.

any time someone brings up this fic they talk about how the author was cruelly harassed into deleting it, but upon digging the "meanest" thing I could find was a message from a Latine person addressed to the author which, albeit heated, did not insult the author in any way beyond saying "you fucking white people" and simply pointed out their problems with the fic requesting they delete it for being racist.

the only time anyone speaks Spanish is when they are angry or emotional, and half the time it's grammatically incorrect google translate Spanish

it's just The Secret Life of Bees but with Klance

the word "obviously" is used in every other paragraph

basic timeline and setting mistakes ie Keith and Lance have known each other since high school; Lance went to Grossling High in Arizona yet Keith has never been to Arizona and also met Lance at college in Oregon

the author clearly has no idea how old the characters are supposed to be. the 70 year old woman is described as "old and withered," and the 2 year old can't walk and needs to be spoonfed.

at several instances the Mexican characters are referred to as "Spanish"

setting changes from chapter to chapter. they're in the middle of the Arizona desert yet they apparently live on farmland that has "rolling yellow fields" and livestock breeding and large, dense deciduous forests along the highway - forests that also have lakes in the middle of them - lakes that have currents like rivers, and are also cold enough to give you hypothermia in t-shirt weather

other basic writing mistakes, like Keith noticing Lance's kidney scar the first time he sees him shirtless, yet failing to notice any scar on his donee despite him being introduced with no shirt on

the author mixes up Lance and Keith's names frequently

often the characters will act completely differently than they are described. Abuela had a pretty characterful introduction sequence and then we're given a description of her that contradicts what we've just read

we are constantly told what a good mother Rosa is despite her not standing up to her homophobic husband when he slights their bisexual son for being bisexual, doesn't stand to defend Keith from Abuela's homophobia until Keith runs out and steald a car, gets angry when her long-lost daughter returns home, and acts cold towards her six-year-old granddaughter, both of whom she did not know were alive or dead up until that point... I could go on

Keith apparently was born in Korea but somehow ended up in the US foster care system as a baby. there are certainly scenarios that could lead to this happening, but we're never given an explanation. idk maybe the author didn't realize Korea also has foster care systems.

characters are introduced and given backstories then promptly discarded when they are done serving the Klance relationship; ie Benji's cancer survivor backstory doesn't actually matter and is only there to give Keith an excuse to touch Lance's skin. after this, he barely shows up.

Sophia. like the entire fucking thing with Sophia. I am actually too angry to properly articulate my thoughts on this but basically she's treated as a pariah for getting pregnant at 17 and getting kicked out of the house by her father; we are meant to think this is justified. the only one who sympathizes with her is Abuela, who is a homophobe who we're supposed to disagree with.

the autistic character is referenced as autistic briefly only in order to add to the struggles Sophia faced as a young mother. otherwise, Alexi does not matter at all to the story. after her introductary scenes, she disappears from the story altogether.

the writing just sucks in general. we are told stuff instead of being able to draw conclusions on our own, even the most obvious things, the similes and metaphors are terrible

speaking of which, the perspective is never consistent. it various omniscient to third person limited from Keith's perspective to Lance's, yet while we think we are in one perspective we get things that only the other's perspective could know definitively, but if it's supposed to be omniscient, we get opinions that HAVE to be from one character's perspective... it's a constant problem

so so so so so so much more wow this fic is bad

[inthehausofholbein]

002 :)

002. a shopping mall, crowded and loud

autistic! ludmi is very personal to me

It’s the 25th of June and Ludmila still doesn’t have a gift for her step-sister. Normally, she would’ve rolled her eyes at everyone lovingly greeting Violetta on her special day, but things have changed.

Change is scary, though… and sometimes weird. Very weird. It was like just yesterday, she was determined to destroy Vilu emotionally. Now, she’s stressing over whether Violetta would even like her gift.

Ludmila felt pathetic. She went from not caring about what other people said to doing exactly that. What a downgrade, she thought.

She just needed to find something cute and girly — exactly Violetta’s taste in girls. The mall would probably do.

As she stepped inside, the footsteps and voices of the hundreds of other people there along with the plethora of clashing sounds became louder than her thoughts. It was as if she had super-hearing.

Thank the lords she brought her airpods, though — the noise-cancelling kind. They prove to be helpful when your mother scolds you for the nth time. She put them on and felt relief.

Now, time to search for a gift.

She found a clothing store filled with feminine pieces. Puff sleeves, sweetheart necklines, pastel colors, and a whole lot of chiffon and tulle. Where do you even begin? This shop looks like Violetta’s closet! Though, if it does, it means that she must already own clothes like this…

As Ludmi was searching through all the sections, she failed to notice the sales ladies asking her if she needed help. The song playing in her earphones was just too good to pause.

As she thought to herself that Germán probably bought her a whole pile of cute clothes before, she redirected her attention to a stationary store. It’s not Japanese stationary level, but there’s some good stuff there.

Does Violetta even use stationary that much? She writes in her diary all the time, yes. She does draw sometimes, yes. Does she paint? Ludmi doesn’t know. Does she scrapbook? Ludmi doesn’t know. Does she read often? Ludmi doesn’t know. This is when she fully realized she barely knows Violetta at all.

As she was about to leave the store, a two small kids ran inside and bumped into her legs while chasing each other. Their parents were trying to calm them down, but that's when her airpods died. They were at around 30% when she entered the mall.

One of the kids was hiding behind her "because she's tall" and the parents started apologizing to Ludmila and scolded their kids.

"Oh no, it's fine," Ludmi replied as she felt like kicking the children then and there. Of course, she didn't. This is a public area, after all. But every single noise in the mall rose in volume again and she was getting impatient for her airpods to charge.

Ludmila passed by the food court and instantly walked away. The combination of talking, loud eating, and crying kids immediately threw her off.

As she was walking to another shop that had items Violetta might like, she felt like a ghost walking amongst a crowd of people. Some were bumping into her shoulders and she looked somewhat ridiculous avoiding all of it. It just felt like the amount of people doubled every second.

She found a toy store - a peculiar place to find a gift for someone who's nearly 20. Maybe a bit insulting.

Her eyes locked on a giant plushie of a cat holding a heart saying "I love you". Cheesy as fuck!

But she then remembered a moment where Violetta randomly ranted about her childhood. She mentioned how her father always told her he loved her, but always showed it in shallow ways such as expensive gifts. She couldn't help but compare it to her own upbringing where her mother would manipulate Ludmila by buying her whatever she wanted in exchange for obedience.

At that point, they were just warming up to each other, so it caught Ludmi by surprise how Vilu could open up like that. Not to mention how Ludmila had never said anything remotely vulnerable to anyone before.

Her airpods were finally 100% charged, so she put them back on and happily approached the counter with it and a gift bag. After paying and leaving the store, she felt relieved as she went back home to have some alone time before the Castillos would inevitably hold a dinner party for their sweet little girl.

Bonus Scene

"What?!?!" Violetta yelled as someone was knocking on her door repeatedly.

"Violetta!" Ludmila obnoxiously replied. “I have a little something for you!”

Violetta tiredly opened the door early in the morning to find Ludmila smiling widely. It was creepy, to say the least.

"Woah! Little thing?"

"Well, it is quite big" Ludmi said as she handed her step-sister a gift bag that could fit six volleyballs. "Open it!"

"Wait." Vilu replied teasingly, "Where's my birthday greeting?"

Rolling her eyes, Ludmila reluctantly said, "Happy birthday.”

"And my birthday kiss-"

"Oh my god, fuck off!" Ludmi yelled while the two started laughing. "Germán will definitely kiss you too much, but you can't make me do it once!"

"Come on! We're sisters!"

"No!"

"Whatever you say." Violetta then took the bag and was surprised at how light it was for its size. "What's in here?"

"I literally said to open it."

Vilu did and her eyes lit up like fireflies. "Oh my god, this is so cute!" Ludmila couldn't help but smile at Violetta hugging it and beaming brighter than the sun. Though, she wouldn't show it, of course.

"Read what's on the heart."

"I... love... you– Ludmila, did you really buy this?"

"Are you really doubting that I would buy you a gift like this? I'm very nice, if you didn't know!"

"Really-“

"Shut up!"

Violetta giggled. "So are you the one saying I love you to me?”

"Violetta, shut-“

"Say it!"

“No-“

"Say it!" Vilu then held the plushie as close to her face as possible as a way to tease her more.

Pausing then sighing as loud as possible, Ludmila finally said, "I love you, hermanita."

Violetta then hugged her. At first, Ludmi flinched a little, but she couldn't escape one of Vilu's tight hugs. As Vilu was about to let go, she whispered to Ludmila's ear.

"Best birthday ever."

Ludmila kept hugging Vilu then tickled her.

Violetta immediately let go and teased back, "Ah, you love me!"

[tea-with-eleni]

What went wrong?

So... the whole education department is leaving my museum. Well, okay, not the whole education department. The manager and the two part time workers are staying. But the three of us who were the actual museum educators, who did most of the legwork and actual educating? we're out after the eclipse.

I consider the other two educators my friends. We have quite a bit in common. We're all the same awkward not-quite-millennial, not-quite-gen-Z age. We went through college at about the same time. We're all the kind of people who will teach somebody something if you leave us along in a room with them long enough, but have no desire to be classroom teachers. Our skills aren't quite identical, but we can all cover for each other in a pinch. We're all single and likely to stay that way for the immediate future, have religions but don't really publicize it, don't drink (two of us never bothered, one of us can't), are adhd, and share similar tastes in literature. They couldn't have found a more evenly matched team if they tried. Which is, it turns out, to their detriment.

see... it means that we all generally agree with and empathize with each other. If they wrong one of us, they wrong all of us.

So... a rough list of grievances, in approximately chronological order.

They threw one of the educators out of the loop and effectively banned her from working in the planetarium. The planetarium she built up from ground zero. That one.

They told the other two of us to make a push-button show in two months. It takes experienced teams with no other responsibilities six months. Then, they yelled at us about how much time we were spending working on the show in the planetarium, even though we were going a bit mad, even though we were effectively casting from hit points to keep going, even though we were making incredible progress and could tell EXACTLY where the time had gone; we were hardly goofing off. Even though it was not, in fact, detracting from our other responsibilities. All three of us ended up breaking down inside the planetarium.

They drove us to varying degrees of anxiety/meltdown at their holiday event and didn't need to. Nor did they apologize or even acknowledge what happened. I'm sorry, I don't forget when multiple coworkers have to talk me through an autistic meltdown while they themselves are coping with their own sensory hellscapes.

No educators qualified for a raise this year, ostensibly for assorted minor reasons but probably because they were trying to gaslight us into blaming ourselves rather than fessing up that they couldn't afford it. Had they been honest, I think we would have been understanding. But. Yeah. They lied. Not cool.

I was written up for showing too much emotion at my manager when something went wrong that wasn't my fault, on my recently deceased grandfather's birthday. And told I would be fired if it happened again.

They assigned a stupid and pointless recurring task to the worst possible team member they could have assigned it to. I offered to take it over, since I didn't mind it and (as previously stated) all of our skills overlap to the point where it didn't make a difference. Then they refused to listen, for months, when we pointed out that giving them what they wanted was actually impossible with our current staff -- we can't teleport.

They totally ignored almost all of our suggestions to improve the planetarium and, in fact, told the other two of us to not work on it so much too. Some of the suggestions they used to deliberately insult us and the hard work we'd put in about something we were truly passionate about.

Policy decisions are routinely made by our manager without consulting us concerning things like the planetarium, which she never enters and cannot even turn on. Let alone make it work.

They care more about how effectively we've swept and vacuumed and put away gross toddler-spit-covered blocks that aren't even our department's property than how well we do things that are much more obviously in our job description. The blocks have been disappeared by one aggrieved part time worker. We will never tell. When we leave, they can pin the blame on us. It's fine.

They seem to have it in for the one male coworker. Not sure why. Could be misandry, antisemitism, or maybe they just don't like that he's speaking his mind. Or maybe they don't like that he's a northerner. Impossible to say.

They sent the most personable manager, who isn't even our manager, to try to boost our morale.... her tips were received as "don't think about it too hard", "accept you'll be written up, a lot", and "your anger at your current treatment is overrated".

They fired the education coordinator two months after she started. Was she good at her job? Not really. Did I like her as a person? Not especially. Was she properly trained in her job? NO. Should she have been fired? Probably not.

I genuinely don't think they realize how much we do empathize with each other. I genuinely don't think they realize that we relate much more to each other than we do to management; the differences in stage of life or maybe generation (managers are much more firmly millennials, we relate more to the Gen Z part time employees) is quite sharp.

And clearly, they don't value that they have three employees who all possess fairly rare and valuable skillsets. We can wrangle our planetarium. We can plan low budget educational activities that capture public interest on a dime. We can run summer camps for kids ages 7-13 with very little prep work. We can lecture on things we barely understand and convince people we're experts because we all have that broad kind of knowledge acquired by ADHD people with internet connections. And we're all very comfortable public speakers. We can analyze a situation and come up with ways to creatively improve it.

Other museums -- other institutions, we're not all going to museums next -- can see what we are. They're bending over backwards to get us to join them.

So. We're out. And we're looking forward to some very.... interesting.... exit interviews.

Assuming they get around to doing those, since our last day is April 8 and a little bird told me there's going to be some kind of major celestial event that day that the museum might be a little bit busy wrangling. IDK.

[imaginarianisms]

okay so. one thing ive been meaning to talk about in the rpc over the years is. the blatant ableism, sanism, racism & overall downplaying & watering down of serious issues such as cults to the point where nonsurvivors are rly out here making cult jokes which, to actual survivors, are like a massive slap in the face.

that's telling us "you don't matter".

on disabled characters & representation. i& genuinely don't remember the last time i& saw someone with a character who had a mobility aid or a wheelchair... if at all. i& genuinely don't remember the last time i& saw a disabled character actually Talk about their disability if it's even mentioned at all in threads & if it is it's usually a skinny cis white character, mostly cis white male characters, with the disability & fuck me& if there are any disabled characters of color at all.

i& genuinely don't remember the last time i& saw a character go indepth about the ableism & sanism they face. & i'm not saying that a disabled character has to let their disability define them but just like gender & orientation, a disability affects people & this doesn't just apply to physical disabilities. & i'm& not even getting into the way disabled & neurodivergent MUNS OF COLOR are treated, ESPECIALLY if their disability and/or neurodivergence is stigmatized.

i'm& not even getting into the stupid fucking way ppl go around throwing "delulu" everywhere as if they somehow have that right to mistreat schizospec & psychotic ppl & stigmatize us further. no, worstie, you're not fucking "delulu" for wanting your unlikely ship to be canon. no, you're not fucking "delulu" for wanting your crackpot theory to be true. it isn't some cutesy fucking trend you can hop on, theyre serious fucking issues. no worstie you're not "delulu" you're just sanist & hate psychotic people. stop using my& fucking symptoms as a stupid joke while stigmatizing me& for having them. i see a lot of nonpsys (for the unaware: nonpsys are people who dont have psychosis & aren't on the schizospec) using the word as if it's this cute quirky word to describe their fantasies & desires. its. literally not. delusions can INVOLVE fantasies & desires but arent those things on their own. it's not fucking funny to call yourself delusional as a joke & it's definitely not funny to just armchair diagnose people when a) you're not even a fucking doctor, psychologist or psychiatrist or any kind of medical professional & b) it's dehumanizing & c) i'm& betting y'all who use "delulu" have never even actually experienced a delusion, this isn't something you throw around for fun, it's an actual serious symptom with serious consequences for people who experience it. & as a schizospec did system myself i'm& Very Fucking Tired. noah fence but i& don't get delusions that're mostly trauma based & persecutory delusions just so y'all nonpsys can make it into another fun quirky thing & the same shit apply to ppl who use "psychopathic" "sociopathic" & "narcissistic" as an insult when most of the time personality disorders come from TRAUMA. & ESPECIALLY if you're autistic, you fucking know better

also. ppl are like "yeah i support systems!!!! :)))))) except fictive heavy systems, systems with lots of members, systems that share everything about themselves and systems who won't shut up about being systems. oh sorry your did and/or plurality makes me uncomfortable :(((((" i've& had people just. straight up refuse to acknowledge my& system at all & act like everything was fucking fine even when people claim to be my friend & give a fuck about me. my& older sister literally told me& to my& face that i& was lying for attention then she heard i& was actually dxed & she shut her ass up real quick. ive had people literally REFUSE to use our names or our pronouns despite KNOWING we're a system & some of us& were Also talking to these people. even from people who claim to be all like "oh i'm all for disabled people!! i'm all for respecting everyone's pronouns" but when it comes to our& plural ass they shut up real fucking quick. like. it won't kill y'all to ask about the rest of us&, about our& lives, showing us&.. idk, the latest episode of a show we've& never seen or a psd you made or introducing memes to us& & it definitely won't kill you to use an "&" by our names & pronouns or at the VERY FUCKING LEAST refer to us& as "y'all" or "you guys".

as someone w/ undxed aspd i& can tend to be very blunt especially if i'm& irritated. does that make me an evil person? uh. no. i& don't think so. someone w/ a personality disorder doesn't automatically mean an abuser & that goes ESPECIALLY with people with narcissistic personality disorder & antisocial personality disorder. disorders by themselves cannot be abusive. not everyone who's abusive has a personality disorder & even if they did, it's bc of their actions, not the disorder itself. & sometimes people just suck & are downright cunts.

if i& sound irritated its bc i& am. i'm& your local angry mean madcripple tryna tell y'all that this is a rpc. rp COMMUNITY. there are people who see this ableist shit. there are trauma survivors in your community. yes, this is worded aggressively but i& need y'all to understand that y'all Need to be able to engage with the anger of people with more stigmatized disorders & ESPECIALLY trauma survivors w/ more severe trauma & not just when we're being informative or entertaining to you if the rpc's gonna be better.