#and back when being openly misogynistic was still acceptable

[longing-for-rain]

I think it’s funny how people point to the existence of female kataang stans as proof that kataang isn’t written for the male gaze when every female kataang stan I’ve interacted with has said something to the effect of “but he’s so nice, he wouldn’t have done something like that” to dismiss his blatant violation of Katara’s boundaries on screen. It is unfortunately not uncommon for women to flock to the defense of male interests.

[bonefall]

.. opinions on wind runner? i feel like im one of the only ones that genuinely hates her sometimes

If you feel like the only one who genuinely hates her, I think you need to look around more. Wind Runner is a very widely disliked character, because she's often used within the story as a small antagonist who "threatens" the authority of Tall Shadow. Gray Wing dislikes her. Thunder is openly cat-racist to her. She spends several books trying to break through the moor cats' xenophobia to join a group that came to HER LAND.

Then, when Moth Flight is old enough to be a relevant character in Forest Divided, Wind Runner is turned into Yet Another mean mom the very moment Moth displays ADHD. She's contrasted to her mate Gorse Fur, who is a Soft And Good Dad, and ultimately MASSIVELY punished with the harrowing events of Moth Flight's Vision (even though, for most of that book, she's completely right.)

Ask yourself why they're especially harsh on WIND RUNNER for being mean to her child, in the arc with Tom the Fucking Wifebeater and his redemption death, plus Thunder being forced to stop being mad at his abuser Clear Sky, please.

To me, Wind Runner is an intense, ambitious woman who's demonized for it in a way that men just aren't. She's subject to several misogynistic trends within WC, plus a huge helping of xenophobia that goes absolutely unexamined. If DOTC cared at all about women, it would have treated her with the nuance she deserves.

Wind Runner is treated with nearly endless suspicion by Gray Wing through books 1 - 3, while he's bending over backwards to suck Clear Sky's toes.

Her wanting to join the group that came TO HER HOME and being a bit pushy about it earns a stronger reaction from Gray Wing than Clear Sky murdering people.

She's pressured into changing her name "to fit in," and it's still not enough. She wanted to join the group so bad she changed her name, at the request of the Mountain Cats, for a chance of being better accepted

This came after she'd already saved Jagged Peak's life when a burrow collapsed on him. She's plenty trustworthy.

She keeps doing shit to try and prove herself to this group of assholes. Remember Bumble being dragged back to her domestic abuser? Gray Wing interprets this as a power struggle, when WIND RUNNER WAS NOT EVEN PART OF THE GROUP AT THE TIME.

From Wind Runner's POV, she did something that the Moor cats wanted done. It was fucking evil. It was committing violence against another member of the out-group the cats see her as.

But who actually has the power here? Tall Shadow does.

Gray Wing said it himself that she could have come up with some excuse for Bumble to stay, and she didn't. In fact, any cat could have spoken up. No one did.

and still. STILL. Wind Runner gets nothing. Her reward is Gray Wing surmising that actually, her doing their sick dirtywork was a political move.

It's more consistent as a motivation with how Wind Runner wants to join their group. The thing she's been doing.

She only actually gets to join the group after Thunder starts publicly hurling slurs at her for suggesting they need to be ready for Clear Sky to attack them. "What do you know about peace? Last time I was here you were NOTHING BUT A ROGUE WITH A ROGUE'S NAME"

Gray Wing even starts purring when she gives birth, because her ambition goes away briefly and she "stops bossing everyone around." this is treated like a sweet thing. god forbid women retain their personalities when they have kids

She loses her first premature child to a seizure and Gray Wing starts proselytizing his religion to her. "Maybe it's a good thing your weakest child died because Jesus has them now" I want to beat him with a hammer

When her second child gets sick, Clear Sky has a bright idea that involves killing it. I refer to this as his "reverse leper colony" suggestion. He only develops a sense of humanity towards the sick when his brother's pregnant wife is in danger. Wind Runner and her kitten barely seem to clock as people to him.

It's only after her SECOND baby succumbs to a horrible, painful death that she decides the moor cats are assholes, and she goes to start her own group. It's LONG overdue. I was extremely excited to see it.

Now. Listen.

I've been treated just like Moth Flight before. I've practically heard the scolding in Book 6 Chapter 3 verbatim. I'm not downplaying anything about Wind Runner being harsh to her; being yelled at like that never fixed the problem.

What I'm saying is that this is the SAME arc that summons the hollowed-out ghost of Storm to coo that Clear Sky "never drove anyone away" with his abusive behavior and gives Tom the Wifebeater a heroic redemption death.

So why is the scolding from Wind Runner treated as unambiguously harsh? What's the difference between her and them?

Why is it that outside of this little bubble of the community, you can get buried in a flood of people crying about how "Clear Sky made Summisteaks Butt he thought it was the right thing :((( He feels bad about shoving Thunder's face in a weeping, pus-filled wound and trying to kill him :((((" but Wind Runner is mean about Moth Flight not catching a rabbit and she should be skinned alive

Why is WIND RUNNER held responsible for the death of Clear Sky's child in Moth Flight's Vision, WHEN IT WAS COMPLETELY HIS OWN FAULT??

So, why should I hate her? Because she's mean to the idiot protagonists? Because she's Yet Another Bad Mom whose actions ARE treated as Bad in the story, in the arc famous for openly weeping whenever someone's mad at their abusive dad?? When she has this whole horrific, unexamined story about how incredibly bigoted The Settlers are towards her and the extremes she goes to in order to please them?

I'm glad she's mean, actually. She should have been even meaner. I think she should have a gun

[piracytheorist]

I'm the type of Spy x Family fan that sees so much angst potential in Identity RevealsTM, so I'm thinking about the heartbreak Yor will feel after it, when she'll realize that Loid is not as kind as she thought he was.

When she meets him, from her point of view, he's just a widowed father who wants the best education of his daughter, at the same time honouring his late wife's dying wish. Investing in a child's good education is something Yor greatly relates to, seeing how hard she worked to provide one for Yuri. Point one.

She asks him to play the part of her boyfriend, and he immediately accepts; he asks for a favour back, but he's satisfied with only Yor's promise to keep her end of the deal. He's showing trust in her and kindness by being willing to fulfill his end of the deal first, thus risking Yor walking out on her promise. Point two.

Despite being injured - something that Yor fully trusts is an occupational hazard for him (I mean, it is, but not because of the occupation she really thinks of) - he still fulfills his end of the deal, albeit messing up and saying he's her husband (though this doesn't count as much, because it came to Yor's advantage in the end). Point three.

(Remember, at this point Yor doesn't know of Loid's plan to convince her to marry him officially, and that this was why he mixed up his introduction. She just thought he made an unrelated mistake out of rush and being wounded)

Taking the opportunity from Loid's mistake of calling himself her husband, Yor asks him to marry her (again, she has no idea of his actual plans; she only knows he wanted her to pretend to be his wife for the interview and only, and that then they'd part ways). He immediately accepts and actually vows to be there for her in difficult times. Point four.

He welcomes her into his family and home, even giving her her own bedroom and her privacy. He has no demands of her regarding to household chores, praises how clean she keeps the apartment - even in front of a misogynistic guy who has power over them in the interview (and we as the audience know that was not For the Mission, as Twilight immediately goes like "Wait why am I getting worked up over this") - he trusts her input when it comes to raising Anya, shows genuine happiness and praise when she makes a tasty meal for them, all of that culminating in the bench scene where he openly and emotionally praises what she fears is a deal-breaker flaw of hers, her physical strength. Point five.

He accepts her eccentric brother that she adores, and after the messy meeting they had with him where said brother left cursing at Loid left and right, Loid is not only understanding, he also opens up about how he envies her relationship with Yuri (and again, we the audience know it's an honestly vulnerable moment for him; not a For The Mission thing). Point six.

So overall, she gets the image of a kind, trusting fellow who is willing to help her despite there not being any (obvious) gains for him outside having a wife stand-in for the interview. To her, Loid had no reasons to keep up their agreement after the interview, especially after Anya got in the school. But he still gladly keeps it on while doing his best to be a good and supportive roommate... and friend.

Like, we joke how gullible Yor is, and not only when it comes to him. But from her point of view, what with especially hiding from him that she's an assassin of all things, he's just as much if not more gullible.

Through all that, Yor genuinely builds feelings for the Forger family - and unlike Twilight, she's much faster in accepting and embracing them. She has no reason to act motherly towards Anya; heck, she has no reason to even spend time with them when they're indoors. She could just stay in her room all the time and never take part in dining together, helping Anya with her homework and activities (like how she helped Anya train for the dodgeball game) and being by their side in general. In only a few months' time, she's already invested in them emotionally so much that the thought of leaving them terrifies her. She's been truly kind and open with them, and now wishes she can keep her place in the family, and not for her job - but because she truly cherishes that place.

So... yeah. Think how all that will come breaking down when she finds out what Loid's original plan was :)

He wasn't trying to get Anya into Eden to provide for her future, nor honouring his "late wife's" dying wish; it was for the mission, after the end of which he fully intended on abandoning Anya.

He didn't agree to play her boyfriend out of kindness; it was to have a leverage over her so that she'd keep her end of the deal - and god I just thought how she might think that him introducing himself as her husband was intentional so that he'd back her up into a corner later to actually marry him (something we know isn't true, but maybe in a very emotional aftermath of identity reveals Yor could very well consider a possibility).

He didn't accept to marry her because he was being helpful towards her - he was simply advancing his own mission.

Now, we know that a lot of the things Loid praises her for come from the truest depths of himself, but Yor does not have the audience's point of view to see that - when she learns that he's a spy and that he's told her so many lies, she'll have no reason to believe anything of what he's told her is true.

His interest in Anya's future, the trust and acceptance he showed her, his supporting words, his efforts to be a good roommate, the vulnerability he showed her... those are all things that Yor would've admired him for, and from a romance perspective, fell in love with him for. Those will all be doubted by her when she finds out what he really is and it will be devastating.

As many other people do, I doubt Yor will be upset by him having lied to her about his job, because she did the same. The heartbreak will come from her knowing she showed her true self as the wife and mother of the Forgers, while when the truth comes out she'll have no idea who the real man behind Loid Forger is. She trusted him, supported him, protected him, opened up to him, fell in love with him... and then that "him" will be pulled from under her feet to reveal a guy who has been using her from the moment he first laid eyes on her.

Of course, like the next twiyor shipper, I want that to resolve into Twilight proving to her that the feelings he grew for her and Anya, the trust he showed her and the connection he built with them were genuine, and the family staying together by the end. I JUST WANT THAT ANGST FIRST.

(No manga spoilers please 😁)

[radfem-polls]

Open ended question: what made you “peak”?

For me it was finally realising that women and made to cater to men but men never have to do the same. Example transwomen constantly forcing themselves into women’s spaces but men never have to do the same for trans men. Transwomen still having all the privilege of men while frequently putting down women and telling them they’re not doing enough as allies. So yet again women are constantly being forced to defend themselves and overexplain. Women spaces being shut down on social media like Facebook and reddit but men spaces and women hating spaces being allowed to thrive. Trans subreddits openly talking about how much they hate bio women and how they are prettier and better than any bio women while women in any subreddit including “lesbian” subreddits being made to walk on eggshells or censor themselves. Etc and the list goes on.

Hi thank you for your submission! Everyone it's time for our next...

Saturday open ended question!

Radfems and radleans, what made you "peak"?

Peaking often refers to switching one's perspective from being accepting of gender and/or gender ideology, to becoming gender critical. It can refer to becoming critical of genderism in a conservative context, an LGBTQ context, or both.

Alternatively, peaking can refer to any aspect of becoming a radical feminist (as opposed to mainstream feminist or opposed to mainstream conservativism), such as becoming critical of the sex industry, pornography, BDSM, reproductive restrictions, surrogacy, marriage, etc.

If you're referring to non-gender related peaking, specification would be great for people looking through the replies/reblogs, but you don't have to ofc 🫶🏾

Replying to OP under the cut (opinionated) 👇🏾

Huge agree, it's so clear that whilst trying to erase our sex, they still mistreat and silence us along sex lines. Despite obsfucating the definition of woman, they still know who is a woman when it comes to who to denigrate, debase, and intrude upon!

I personally feel that I peak again and again almost every day; each abuse a new reminder that they are male and of the oppressor class.

Essentially two big reasons I peaked can be summed up as 1) TIMs are sexist and 2) TIMs are racist.

Part 1:

One of the things that peaked me was, back when I was trans-identified, seeing how openly violent trans women were towards trans men. Some would even say the trans men and other tifs were not "truly trans" (and they are??), wish them rape or other violence, for perceived social missteps, or tell them they cannot talk about the oppression they experience for being female (AFAB), lest they perpetuate "transmisogyny."

It was like watching a miniature patriarchy surrounded by a veil of gaslighting and DARVO where it was insisted trans men or other "transmisogyny exempt" people were the real oppressors. It's truly no different to how men, particularly incels, DARVO women, insisting we are not oppressed and somehow inflict suffering onto men (usually by way of having boundaries). No different to "transbians" talking about breaking the cotton ceiling (🤢🤮) and positioning sex with lesbians a form of validation.

Part 2:

Another thing that peaked me is how trans women and other tims talk about black women. It's disgusting! They insist we have some imagined "proximity" to them by way of our "womanhood" being denied to us, but in this statement lies the misogynistic ideas they have around what womanhood even is.

They aliken their oppression to black women being considered "unfeminine," or being limited in what parts of femininity black women can access (which is a real problem in the US due to their history with the enslavement of African Americans, although not all black people are AA in the first place. Which ties into how a lot of LGBTQ politics is stinkingly USamericentric, whereas radical feminists prefer to look at the whole world).

This, however, misses the entire point of what womanhood is in the first place, and displays a grave misunderstanding in how gender seeks to oppress the masses. Harping on the second point first, trans women seem to not understand that femininity isn't a desire for women, by which our oppression takes place when we are denied that desire.

Femininity, rather, is a code of conduct that is forced onto women in order to control us, to control our sexuality, to control our reproduction, and to control our lives altogether. Femininity seeks to quash us under the thumb of men by embodying every aspect of a tortured and enslaved mindset. Everything from heels being considered professional while causing physical pain, short skirts limiting our ability to take long strides, bend down and even walk altogether, (and long skirts limiting our ability to run, climb trees, etc). To the very way we are expected to sit to take up less space. I could go on and on but there are many more analyses of femininity. The point is it is a tool to control us.

Black femininity was just as enslaving as white femininity in AA slavery USA. However it contained an additional aspect of dehumanization that white women weren't subjected to (of course, all women are dehumanized under the patriarchy. but due to our race, black women were/are additionally dehumanized). The modern march amongst black women to achieve hyperfemininity (essentially the expectations for white women ×10) is a seek to be dehumanized in a generalist way rather than racially-specific.

Yet for trans women, this oppressive code of conduct is what they desire in order to "be women." They think this code of conduct is womanhood, and anyone who seeks to fit into it is a woman, and anyone who detests it is not (see: multiple cases of trans women saying "if you hate womanhood so much, why not be a man?" or telling butches they are "closeted transmascs").

This all comes to the first earlier point that trans women misunderstand (or intentionally refuse to accept) the meaning of womanhood in the first place. It is not femininity. It is not an act. It is not a thought process. It is not a feeling. It is not immaterial.

Being a woman requires 3 things.

Be a member of a human species. Currently there is only one human species alive; homo sapien sapien.

Be an adult, which is usually considered the age by which one is mature enough to engage in the world independently. In much of the world this is 18 years old. It may be 16, 21, or even 25.

Be female. Notice how trans women do not fit into this. To be a female human, one must have at least 1 X chromosome along with either no Y chromosome, or the Y chromosome's SRY gene is missing, inactivated, or damaged beyond functionality. This karotypical makeup will result in the development of phenotypical traits that aim to partake in the production of the large gamete ova. This simple definition covers all females, perisex or intersex. Any human who does not meet this definition is a male, whether perisex or intersex male.

In short. Be an human adult female (adult female human, however you like to place the adjectives). It is on this basis of our SEX, female, that we are oppressed. The way black women are "distanced" from womanhood is on the basis of not being considered human. This is completely different to trans women and other tims as they are not women due to not being female. Claiming they are "denied" womanhood the way black women are is racist and appropriative of black women's struggles.

The other argument they have (which is even more racist) is their argument black women are "mistaken" for being male and attacked. It is true that *white* attackers sometimes target black women on assumption they are male. This is because white men are fucking racist and don't know what black women look like. Black men rarely struggle to tell if a black woman is a woman or not, unless that woman has an intersex and/or hormonal condition making her ambiguous.

In the latter, it is not blackness that is "analogous" to trans women's experiences, but possibly intersex. I'm not intersex so that is for intersex people to define to which degree they are in proximity to trans women, if at all. Altogether, mistaking black women for men is because of a lack of exposure to what black people and therefore black women look like. Using ethnic features as a marker of sex distinction is xenophobic and sexist against women. Whether that's a white man beating up a black woman because he thinks she's a man, or white TIMs on Xitter trying to prove a random black celeb looks like a man, it is at the core, racism.

I should iterate, obviously, beating up other people is repulsive, hate crimes are repulsive. Beating up trans women is repulsive. However by shifting the responsibility of these actions from the attackers, often white men or whoever else is most racially/ethnically privileged in a given region, onto black women, TIMs are being racist and misogynistic (misogynoirist in particular).

Of course, not every trans woman or other TIM is a virulent sexist and/or racist. But the core concept of womanhood being a commandeerable trait or thought process, rather than a material state of being that is oppressed in human society on the basis of sex, is sexist, immaterialist, psuedo-religious, and very easily leans itself to racist thinking.

That understanding of gender ideology as fitting into those above traits, my friends, is why I peaked. There's so, so much more I could say, but this is a poll blog and we'll be here all day 😅

If you read this far drop a flower emoji in the comments/reblogs/tags 🌷

Let me know if you want to see more under the cut soapboxing on Saturdays lol 😆

[blazinghotfoggynights]

This fandom is turning into a madhouse!

Why? 😢

What is all the arguing about? Why are fans taking sides in multiple standoffs. How are these wars starting?

What I have to say may not be well-received by some sides in the numerous boxing matches active in this fandom right now, but I'm going to say my piece. 🤷‍♀️ I am not responsible for white-hot rage, tears, or epiphanies that you don't want. So, proceed at your own risk. Or whatever.

Buddie vs BuckTommy

BuckTommy fans, Buddie fans were not seeing things. Those characters were written as being pulled into each other's orbits and it was more than platonic. It wasn't blatant, and it has been hinted it couldn't be due to the network. Even now, with Eddie and Buck being in relationships, and Eddie somehow being in multiple, they are still using Buddie to promote the show. If they are not going to happen, then why the use that to get ratings? That is the definition of baiting.

Buddie fans, BuckTommy is canon. They may not last or they may be endgame. We won't know until it happens. Why lose your mind over fictional characters that one man controls? It's simple. If you feel they played the Buddie card only to put Eddie in a mess of epic proportions and make Buck become Evan Buckley-Kinard, tune out and keep fanfic alive. Do you know how many fandoms have followed that process? If Tommy was brought back just as a plot device, then it's not much better than baiting.

You know what would be hilarious? Buck meets a third person, falls in love, and marries them.

It would shut both sides down if it was a woman. (I may have a petty streak and if I were in charge, I could see making it Taylor or Abby.)😈🤣(Maybe then the warring factions could call a truce over tears and beers.)

Tommy Kinard was not a good guy. That's not delusion. That's canon.

BuckTommy fans, the character of Tommy Kinard has done multiple problematic things, and the writers are not addressing any of it. Telling people to get over it is not cool. Being closeted or confused is no excuse for calling Chimney the delivery guy and Hen the b-word. He was actively and willingly participating is some of the worst forms of bullying someone can experience. He wasn't a teenager who was just trying to fit in. He was a grown man. No excuses for his behavior are acceptable and, in the real world, you would be hard-pressed to find his victims forgiving him. They would not be his friends.

I can see why women, especially black women and LGBTQ women, and non-white men, especially Asian men, would say they don't like how his past transgressions are being ignored. He was openly racist and misogynist. That is canon. Nothing was misunderstood or misinterpreted. Tommy was a d*ck.

If you watch how Lou is portraying Tommy, there are indications that what we saw in season 2 is a part of his personality. The lack of discussion about his past could be intentional because it may come up in the future.

How has no one noticed how he speaks to Buck sometimes? Maybe I am just older than most in the fandom and have experienced a lot more, but there are things about Tommy Kinard's behavior that don't seem very...nice. The way he speaks to Buck sometimes is like he is dismissing what he thinks or feels. Sometimes he seems to be speaking to Buck as if he is a child. I was offended on Buck's behalf.

The biggest CAUTION sign so far was when he admitted he is jealous of the 118. What? That doesn't even make sense! Think about it. Tommy went out of his way to make the 118 hostile toward anyone who wasn't a het white male. When Bobby took over and changed the culture, he brought respect and openness which cultivated the friendship, and eventual love, that created the family the 118 is now. Tommy could have easily come out to the team under Bobby, apologized, and began building the bridges he burned. But he did not.

Tommy chose his side but now he is jealous of the work Bobby put in to clean up Gerrard's mess? Could it be something else giving his jealousy life? Could Tommy be resentful that the exclusive, prejudice environment he happily embraced, and helped keep in place, under Gerrard disappeared and because an inclusive tight-knit family created from the outcasts?

That is a very real possibility and if that is the case, it says a lot about Tommy Kinard and could lead to an interesting arc in the remainder of season 7 and season 8.

Eddie Diaz is not a bad guy.

I think Eddie has been teetering on the edge for many seasons. TBH, I am surprised he has been as stable as he has for this long. That man is walking meatsuit full of trauma.

People who are mentally stable and have healthy coping skills do not join underground fighting rings, smash their bedrooms, or ask relative strangers to watch his child and move in. There have been many indications for multiple seasons that Eddie is not in a good place but keeping it together for the sake of his son.

I do not think Eddie is trying to hurt anyone at all. I think he is trying to claw his way out of some hell his mind has had him in for a long time.

That man needs to be taken to the nearest inpatient facility and admitted. (If you are thinking of making a negative comment stigmatizing mental health awareness or treatment, reconsider, choose not to, and move along. Mental health is just as important as physical.)

Eddie Diaz is in no condition to be in a relationship with anyone except a therapist right now.

Whether you want Buddie, Eddie/Marisol, or Eddie/Wife's Ghost, if you want to see anyone with this guy right now, I have to ask you if you are feeling okay.

Remember how Eddie's parents didn't want him dragging Christopher down with him? Right now, it looks like Eddie's carefully, barely held together existence is going to go boom. Anyone in the blast radius is in danger. The only dates Edmundo Diaz should be having is at least three times weekly and begin with a mental health professional asking him if he has something he wants to talk about.

Evan "Buck" Buckley is a grown ass man. Stop infantalizing him! They even do it on the show.

I can't be the only one who sometimes forgets that thick mountain of a man is not a young twenty-something just wandering out into the world.

He's in his thirties. He's been in therapy. He's grown. He has to do what all of us adults do: Make decisions, wait to find out what happens, and deal with the consequences.

Say it with me: Buck is not a baby.

No one who has any real knowledge is going to tell fandom what the future holds for the show.

Who doesn't get that?

There are unhinged fans on every side of every current fight.

If you are attacking actors, writers, producers, networks, or anyone else, I have to wonder if you should be in a room next to Eddie after someone who loves him takes him where he should go.

That type of behavior used to get you a room with soft walls and a free jacket that left you in a permahug.

You can make anything you want happen with the characters.

It's call fanfiction and AO3 is wonderful. If there is a great story that hasn't been told, get on Word, Docs, Libre, or whatever you have and start making it a reality!

Authors have major support and respect from the fans.

If writing isn't your thing, but you are great at prompts and don't mind authors taking your prompts and creating stories, find a way to share them!

There are positive ways to channel your eyerolls, frustration, anger, or whatever. Draw fanart. Write fic. Write ideas and throw them at those who draw fanart and write fanfic.

To the whole fandom: CHILL! PLEASE!

I don't want to watch another fandom I enjoy implode. I don't want to see other fandoms assume everyone in this fandom is in need of the soft room and permahug fashion I mentioned earlier.

Been there, done that.

At the end of the day, everyone needs to remember:

It's not real.

[genderisareligion]

How long do you think this trans nonsense is going to last? Do you think people, especially women, will eventually realise how sexist, homophobic and racist trans ideology is? Or do you think society is just going to keep regressing? I had a discussion - not even an argument - with a girl recently about it all, she has a brother that calls himself a woman, and she cried when I said that I thought we should be abolishing gender stereotypes. I thought I was pretty moderate, I said that I think people should be able to dress and act however they like, but it just doesn't mean that men can claim and appropriate womanhood. She cried and called me a transphobe, and then stormed out when I said that it's inherently misogynistic. Most of my friends, both men and women, agree with me, but said that I shouldn't have brought it up. Which I think is just shit - so women are just meant to lie back and accept the erosion of our rights? This issue is occupying so much real estate in my mind, I'm constantly thinking about how absurd it is and I'm constantly angry. How long do you think I'm gonna have to be angry for?

I can’t say for certain how much longer it will be, but I can recall what ten years ago was like, so maybe things will have changed that drastically in another ten.

2012 Tumblr was peak what’s good about liberal feminism. It’s not all garbage it is still feminism after all. Consent was a huge conversation, used to see posts about male rape culture in the tens of thousands of notes, it was cool and on trend to call out “I’m not like other girls I don’t need feminism,” sexism in the workplace was being addressed. My in progress tag #notes is in part meant to capture what female solidarity used to look like on the site

because it’s taken a massive fucking nose dive and I’m trying to figure out where we went wrong. Going through archives of radblr blogs around 2015-16 is when I start noticing more of the trans/TERF conversion happening, although it always was just on a much smaller scale using different words. “Lesbians who don’t like dick” and sex industry critical women have always been attacked for one reason or another iirc they just used to call us “radscum” and other nondescript shit before landing on these handy -ERF acronyms

The thing is 2012 Tumblr was also peak Superwholock Fujoshi time and “supporting the gays” (voyeuristically living vicariously through them) was more on trend than liberal feminism. The two were seemingly in unison at the time but were going to be at odds inevitably. Mostly straight and male-pref bi women (with a sprinkle of closeted lesbians) coping with IRL men’s increasingly sadistic view of women by fantasizing about safe love between fictional men on an obsessive level. Fandoms and thus show creators going out of their way to avoid F/F slash and instead feeding the monster that is M/M until Tumblrinas felt like just “supporting” them wasn’t enough and they had to skinwalk lol and shame one type of SSA while worshipping another

Iirc by 2016 gay marriage in the US (where most of these people live) had been “won” and queer MOGAI was the shiniest newest trend thanks to a number of influences (Caitlyn Jenner and LaVerne Cox come to mind but it was definitely more than just them). Liberal feminism is capitalistic at the end of the day and the powers that be saw “queering gender” for the cash cow it’s ended up being and the powers were probably terrified that in the early 2010s under popular lib feminism hundreds of thousands of girls and women were openly in agreement online that male violence was the problem. Now it’s “gendered violence” and you can never tell who’s a male and no one can call a spade in a dress a spade

It’s inconceivable to me to cry about the idea of gender abolition like your friend did anon…..makes me like sad how convicted so many women are about this. But I’m also not surprised and don’t blame them all because anti feminist males will stop at nothing. The TERF wars are so fundamentally ridiculous like the topic is a distraction about something that’s not even real yet they’ve made it seem so real and threatening by using their male privilege to instill fear and angry infighting.

I would advise you to not let this shit take up too much real estate in your mind. As someone who sort of watched it all start or at least get this bad I try to remember when I wasn’t censoring my language this much and when misandry was a fun meme on here. Also try to keep in mind how many times the queer theorists change their mind on what language is appropriate for who and when. I will never forget how quickly writing trans* with an asterisk or transwoman with no space became crimes when before you’d get lynched for not doing it. Imo things that change that often have no foundation or could change into something unrecognizable someday. Hopefully whatever follows gender is better than this shit. Hang in there 🖤

[eohere]

I think, in Rohan’s complex cultural landscape, queer issues are also viewed in complex ways. On the most basic level, various disparate Northmen cultures had a variety of ways of looking at queer sexuality but none of them truly denied non-hetero relationships from being accepted within communities. And in terms of rohirric attitudes, any negative views of queer sexuality can be reasonably assumed to come from Gondorian/dunadan influence. 

However, some of the time those influences are hard to discern, with particularly misogynistic-originated/hypermasculanised stigmas against gay men and their committed relationships appearing to come from the oldest traditions and beliefs of the Rohir, traceable back to Eorl’s time and before. BUT even these have been influenced by Dunadain religious beliefs, for these of course were traditions descended from the Eotheod whom had been allies with Gondor long before Rohan’s creation. 

PRACTICALLY speaking, and with reference to Theodred, stigma would have been levelled upon him most from the higher nobility within Rohan (if he had ever openly been attracted too and loved men exclusively). However, there was also a running ‘traditionalist’ view, more or less prevalent depending upon the rohir community and changeable by generation, that demasculinised not necessarily sex with men, but men who were not attracted to women and whom fell in love with other men. This is often framed as a viewpoint in rebellion against Gondorian influence, a kind of flipped version of Gondor’s perception that profound love between the same sex is blessed and honourable, but sex is a corruption of the soul etc etc. However in the end at it’s root it is more of a mutated prejudice passed down and changed through generations. 

Indeed amongst some area-specific Rider/military cultures, taking sexual partners among your comrades is commonplace and almost expected, but both positions and romantic attachments are shamed with varying frequency and harshness. Theodred had witnessed or experienced various aspects of these cultures during his youth as a Rider in different Eoreds, but he had still been mostly discreet and kept his reputation very clean. 

In general, if (or when depending upon verse) Theodred were to ‘out’ himself, it would not be such a catastrophic social death as it might be in Gondor. He would still be mostly accepted and there would be no tangible consequence to it. However there would be intangible social consequences, biases and altered opinions that would have made his life and duties significantly more difficult than before, which is not to mention Gondorian opinion. It could be equated too a similar experience of being gay in England right now, with differences of cause and expression of such opinions, but similar impacts and severities. 

This is in tandem with @shieldarm​ ‘s own HC post, I think I agree that queer women had an easier time being queer, in that they were met either with nonchalant acceptance or bewilderment, viewed more as a ‘strange sort’ but not with any particular malice or shame, especially when they exemplified the role they had chosen to take on (in Eowyn’s case). For women, the issue was more them being women than being queer and with histories of women warriors littering Eotheod history, they had a cultural space that they could fill. 

[myromanempireee]

The Outsiders historical aspects rant

As a history buff myself, you know what this fandom doesn’t talk about enough?

The fact that this is THE SIXTIES.

This fandom just ignores the racial discrimination, religious discrimination, sexual discrimination, even gender-based discrimination that is EXTREMELY prominent in Tulsa Oklahoma specifically.

Like we’re really glossing over the fact that Tulsa ESPECIALLY was very hyper religious, homophobic, racist, misogynistic, etc. back then.

Like… I personally headcannon some characters to be mixed white + SMTH else, (For example I always head cannoned Johnny as Italian and indigenous Mexican/Central American) plus some as queer

But you all gloss over the implications of it all

Like what do you mean you wrote a Fanfiction of Curly + Pony (A ship I personally love myself) and just…Had them openly be gay? That doesn’t make sense.

And they don’t even depict how they wouldn’t tell anyone. Not even their siblings or close friends because they wouldn’t know who to trust and probably wouldn’t say it aloud in general anyways. And them getting together would be HIGHLY complicated, because for one, Curly Shepard is CURLY FUCKING SHEPARD, but even without him being part of the ship, there’d be a lot of internalized homophobia, denial of feelings, obvious fear of even looking at the other wrongly, etc.

If they ever did somehow suck it up and get together it wouldn’t be some like…Big confession. It’d be some accidental kiss when they’re either drunk or in the moment and then they realize and it’s kind of an “Oh shit” moment. When they realize the other is okay with it it’d kind of be like…They don’t talk about it, and hide it even from themselves, but it just keeps happening because they know it’s welcome.

The relationship probably would be far from healthy either because of the social stigmas and internalized homophobia and just so many different influences.

And don’t get me started on some other things…

I read a fic a long time ago where not only was Purly the main ship, but Curly himself was fully black. And they were open about it.

In Tulsa.

In the sixties.

Not only was it a gay relationship but it was an interracial relationship, and they glossed over the historical inaccuracies completely?

Im pretty sure it’s taken down now because I can’t find it but it still HAUNTS ME.

Like, I get it, you don’t want the homophobia aspect but like…You call the fic canon compliant and not an AU, yet you take this fic that’s fiction, sure, but set in a REAL timeline with REAL historical influences that’s supposed to be set realistically in the 60s, specifically in TULSA. with nothing added or taken away, and you just…Remove all the historical influences? Make it make sense.

Im not saying you need to have them hurling slurs at one another, and I get you may not be comfortable with those topics for many reasons but like… If you can’t tackle those things maybe…Don’t put yourself in a position where you’d be expected to?

Even if it’s something as slight as Purly being entirely secret and them having a hard time getting together and accepting their sexuality

It tackles it tactfully without them having to truly touch on homophobia, adds a lot of nuance to their characters, storylines, relationship, etc. and just all in all it adds a lot to the story while keeping it accurate

But yeah, that’s my little rant. I tried to keep it short and sweet but this has been bugging me

Also I hate when people headcannon the main cast as certain things as if that wouldn’t have DRASTICALLY impacted the events in the book

Even if saying like “Oh the Curtis brothers are Black/Asian/Hispanic”…Like, that changes everything? But you don’t want it to? But you want it to still classify as entirely complying with the canon universe?

I don’t mind the headcanon itself but you’ve gotta admit that things would have been DRASTICALLY different for the household and even the gang if they were really black

Hell, the gang probably wouldn’t be a thing unless the rest were suddenly POC too, which creates another domino effect because let’s be real here Dally would’ve died pre-canon and if he didn’t that’s a whole other thing

Plus Soda + Sandy or Steve + Evie wouldn’t have happened which would remove certain storylines

Then Cherry and Pony wouldn’t have talked

Though that would’ve added more layers to Bob going after them

It just creates a lot of domino effects people either don’t consider or don’t want to tackle

I get Fanfiction bends the source material slightly but i dunno, this is still a pet peeve of mine

[terrifickid]

I think pets are fundamentally wrong

You bred them with each other for generations, making this weird imbred mutant creature that can't possibly survive on its own, neuter it, then keep it locked up and feed it gruel - demand complete subordinance and punish it for going to the bathroom.

Sounds like ya'll .

And you love your pet! Just like a member of the family. Except when it's inconvenient or too expensive - then they're dropped off anywhere or at a kill prison.

That's great. Oh and free Palestine.

I think this is a big deal since, thus far and what likely drove me insane was being subordinate to you murderous, obstinate, grotesque cowards.

Having fought out of your hell as a schizophrenic for 40 years, losing my will to live and regaining it leaves me with an interesting taken on the human condition.

I think I'll have to live as a political dissident. It's not a choice to live or die, it's what my relationships will be until I'm dead.

Cause I wanted to get all that schooling.

Now that I see as an insane person, bitch I don't have a future, I guess this changes the algebra on what I can and can not accept.

And I think Blockchain is the ultimate egalitarian arena or at least Bitcoin.

I am not a murderous, grotesque, obstinate coward though this is levied upon me on a daily basis. "Who!?" - motherfucker don't speak to me.

I don't know if being a pacifist precludes me from SSI. But maybe it won't. If I were a misogynist that would be a different story but I am not.

So I think I'm going to double down on being as bad as I want to be. Or at least I'm thinking about it thinking about it.

I dunno, tact can be super useful but tact has become the new state religion and isn't this the very thing that's instigating this so called 7th gen warfare and also the arena predators use to kill?

I think I have passed the point of no return. Or intend to cross it. I don't want to go back. My greatest fear was that it was my fault, that I was being an asshole. I guess I kind of was but not because I was an asshole, just that I was severely mentally disabled at birth and well nobody 'had the heart' oh poor you. I could have been aborted, I could have received the medical care I required, I could of been put in foster care but no, I was just kept in the car, like a dog and trained to speak and sit and be a good boy to cover for everyone so they could destroy the environment with their fancy cars and their hairspray and their addiction to their familial rape fantasy romance.

But thanks to the intrepid women of this era, fuck this. And I think this is my great opportunity to openly wage jihad - since, yes, to my astonishment you shit stains dared to say something. Kudos kudos kudos.

If you had ever dared to train at the dojo I'd graduate you.

But instead it's still 100% fuck me, because it's easy and who has the time or inclination to recognize that you're not the ultimate polysci guru the moment you realized there was anything beyond drugs now that you're 'on the road', or that your political party affiliation is just the carefully constructed pimp game you still crave - perpetrated by your now truly living nightmares, festering merchant molechian golem corporations, which you irrevocably committed all rights and privileges grantable- primarily the flesh of your children - which is cut, processed and sold back to you in the form of violence and violent accessories.

Because I am not a misogynist definitely and because I'm schizophrenic, NOT because I huffed paint or just jazzed out to much, and NOT an asshole. Than I guess I 100% fuck you back.

And isn't that the real meaning of Kobayashi Maru solution space in the end?

Dad killed himself - why? Because he feared the retribution and as a doctor he had sworn an oath. An oath we could never share.

To conclude,

Buy your dog a nice shirt or a wallet or something this Christmas, giving is a beautiful thing.

Kirk, like Picard got told. Told by a little boy. Who was creative and not really boldly made emotional contact with people immediately around him. He being actually thoughtful rather than brash was upset and instead of turning to alcohol got high in this weird Indian seance.

I think you know the rest.

No?

Well, some set jerk was mean to him or something I guess and he quit the show and played d&d with his funny friends.

Kirk too, intrepidly leaving the nexus, followed suit and went on to make a difference again being a paid spokesperson in advanced 'name your own price' technology.

As for Picard, last I heard he was saving the universe, again, from some clthuthonic tentacle AI? While Starfleet got back to war with the Klingons using mushroom teleporters cause they're evil now... Something about a vegetarian space beetle.

Morally murky I grant.

The power is yours!!!!!

[mangodestroyer]

I think I'm getting to the point where my nostalgia for old media is wearing off.

I get that it was all made during a different time, but a lot of things from the 80's, 90's, and 2000's that I used to indulge in just didn't age well. There's just too much casual misogyny, homophobia, and transphobia, for one. Not all shows, books, games, etc. were like this, ofc. Some media, you could tell was kind of making fun of discrimination and wanted to secretly support the LGBTQ+ (but couldn't openly do so for obvious reasons). And there are also tons of good female characters in old media who were not shown in a misogynistic light.

But then you see all the jokes about how awful, catty, impulsive, and emotional women are. How it's always implied that men are just the superior sex/gender, and the only thing women have over them is that they are... more nurturing ig??? Some sitcoms are just unwatchable because they especially tend stoop to this level. All the women are the same. Barely able to tolerate each other, very emotional and bitchy for "no reason," and overly obsessed with the idea of having babies and being with a man.

I'm not saying we should cancel this old media or whatever. I am fully aware that people are able to separate fiction from reality. I know people who can watch this content and still not be an a-hole. Although I also know people who still carry views like this about women, or get mad over "men in dresses." And yeah... I don't talk to those people if I can help it.

But for me personally? After hanging around in the real world for a while and realizing how rampant discrimination is, I can't stomach that content anymore.

It's more than just discrimination too. The old conservative views are also just unappealing to me. Being overly judgmental of anything that's outside of the norm, worshipping work culture (glorifying toxic practices and mocking those who can't work full-time/want to live a simple life), thinking it's stupid for people to care about the environment and world peace, etc. Ig this was all supposed to be funny, but this "boomer humor", as some people call it, really isn't funny. Speaking of bad humor...

"I can't stand my wife!" Gross! It's especially gross since men during that time had even more power over women than they do now. A wife was also a free servant and free childcare 24/7 back in the day. Sometimes, women worked and did all the child rearing and housework. And anyone who's been around the block also knows that the bedroom stuff was 100% on the man's terms. Actually, there are still relationships like this nowadays. But it brings me joy knowing that less and less women are getting into relationships because they don't want to be treated like that anymore (yes, studies are showing that more women are single and refusing to have kids or get married).

Idk, there just tends to be a general vibe in some of this media that rubs me the wrong way. It's very clear to me that it was written during a time when less people were aware of the problems with the world. I mean, the characters just act like they're very sheltered and ignorant.

I like how newer media works to correct some of this. Especially indie projects. They tend to embrace diversity more and accept reality for what it is. Plus, story telling as an art form continues to evolve over the years. People nowadays seem to focus more on character arcs on top of writing a compelling story. Many stories from the past seemed to use characters as tools for the plot rather than showing them as people. They didn't want characters too seem "too weak" or whatever. That's how it feels to me, anyway. I think people realized that slice of life elements can actually be fun and build on the characters, rather than slog the story down.

I know people are afraid of change. Sometimes, I am too. But sometimes, it really is for the better. I know people like to look at the past and say that things, especially stories, were better back then. And that maybe be true with how companies keep messing around with writer's these days. But when given the freedom to do what they want, I think writer's have actually gotten better at their craft.

[aguecheek]

Can you tell us about that gender bent midsummer night's dream production you did lights for?

Oh boy oh baby oh boy ive been waiting for this one

So in 2019, I ran lights for a Free Shakespeare in the Park production of Midsummer that took the characters of Lysander and Helena and genderswapped them. Lysander became Lysandra, and Helena became Helenus. And dude???????? It changed...SO MUCH??? It literally lives in my head rent free, i still think about this production every goddamn day. More under the cut.

When Hermia’s father insists that she marry Demitrius or face death, it becomes much less a matter of a man exerting control over his daughter as if he owns her, although it still definitely is that, but now takes on a new dimension. Egeus has delivered an ultimatum: be straight or be killed. Absolutely fucking terrifying, and for modern audiences especially, the stakes suddenly become much more personal and much more real. (We also kept a running tally of every family who left in the middle of the show when they realized it was gay LMFAO our highest record number was 18 families in one night. Gotta love PA!) So in the scene immediately following that, you get this really gorgeous tenderness in the “how now my love, why is your cheek so pale” scene, you know the one. The agreement to elope, the overwhelming joy that comes from the notion of leaving your homophobic father and going to live with your girlfriend’s accepting aunt...it’s good, it gave me the warm and fuzzies.

The Helenus comes on, and oh boy oh boy oh fucking boy. Because in the first scene, you have this line from Lysandra about Demitrius promising himself to Helenus, and Egeus looking absolutely horrified at it, and Demitrius denying it fervently. And Helenus is lost, confused, and desperate, and he’s seeking comfort in two other openly gay people, his childhood best friend and her girlfriend—and the’re both leaving athens. Together. When he gives that fucking goddamn how happy some o’er other some can be speech (which ive had memorized since i was eight because its so unbelievably fuckign good) it’s absolutely HEARTRENDING. Demitrius was his, and they were in love, and then demitrius got cold feet and backed out, and now hermia and lysandra are leaving too, and helenus is going to be alone in athens.

Then you get helenus and demitrius’s first scene together, the “you draw me you hardhearted adamant” scene, the “spurn me like a dog” scene. And this scene was hard for me to watch every single night. Because, now forgive me for getting a little personal, I struggled with a lot of internalized homophobia for a pretty significant portion of my life. And there was this awful heartwrenching moment the actors did where demitrius grabbed helenus by his shirt and their mouths were inches apart and demetrius like tore himself away and stumbled away shouting and it just...i’ll say, okay, i named my sword demitrius(That’s not a euphamism, I have a sword hanging on the wall of my apartment named demitrius, I intend to name all my swords after shakespeare cahracters)because of this character. I don’t like demitrius within the text, i think he’s an asshole LMAO. But this version of demitrius really just grabbed my heart ripped it out of my chest and stomped on it, because he wasn’t a misogynist freak, he was a real dude struggling with some serious significant internalized homophobia. It gave him a reason to reject helenus, it gave him a reason to pursue hermia, and it gave him an actual in-depth character reason to be a dick other than just...hey, this is demitrius, he’s a dick to women.

One of the worst and best scenes every night was the fight scene. Now the fight scene fucking gets me, no matter what, but with the sexuality dynamics, god, it’s just so fucked up. Because when demitrius first starts acting all lovely-dovey towards helenus, there’s this awful heartbreaking look of longing on helenus’s face, and then when “oh, spite, oh, hell” comes bursting out, ur heart breaks ight the fuck along with him. Not to mention now here’s hermia, who ran away from her father to be with her girlfriend, to escape the confines of heterosexuality, so they could be together, and now lysandra is turning away from her and trying to get all cozy with helenus. Helenus’s heart is breaking because he thinks that he’s being betrayed by his own community, being mocked for something that they above all else should support him for. Hermia’s heart is breaking because she’s losing the one person she sacrificed everything to be with. Lysandra and demitrius are fine lmao they’re asleep, they don’t know whats going on.

But like okay. Okay. god. Okay. listen to me. When theyre all running exhaustedly through the woods and they eventually collapse on the ground, sound asleep, and puck comes out with the cure for the spell...he cures them both. HE CURES BOTH LYSANDRA AND DEMITRIUS. Because unlike in the original text, demitrius doesn’t need to be under a spell to love helenus. He loved him all along, he never stopped loving him, he just...wouldn’t let himself. So wheras in the heterosexual midsummer, puck usually cures lysander but not demetrius, in this version, you have them both being cured, both being brought back to themselves. 

And when they wake up, and the lights went all purple and blue and soft and the music started playing (it was fucking moon river. The music was fucking moon river please im going to cry) and they’re all just standing there, holding the person they love, swaying softly, whispering in amazement at their fantastic dream…”are you sure that we are awake?” oh my fucking god. Oh my fucking god. Oh my god.

Then everybody comes storming on, theseus and hippolyta and egeus and such, and demitrius has that line...that fucking line… “The object and the pleasure of mine eye Is only Helenus. To him, my lord, Was I betrothed ere I saw Hermia. But like in sickness did I loathe this food, But as in health come to my natural taste, Now I do wish it, love it, long for it, And will for evermore be true to it.” DUDE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME THAT’S SO GOOD. Because unlike with the magic flower route, he actually is returning to his natural tastes. This is the story, this is his story, this is him giving up on his attempts to hide that part of himself. This is him accepting who he is and wishing for Helenus, loving him, longing for him, will forevermore be true to him….god. It got me every single fucking night. Every goddamn single night that line made me tear up.

And then they all got married and it was lovely and beautiful blah blah its a comedy everybody gets married you know the drill <3 but yeah, i still think about that production every single fucking day of my life. I dont think ill ever stop thinking about it.

[kara-is-a-cutie]

What in the hell happened over in Sweden, it’s like the voters gave foxes control of the henhouse over there; I’m fucking nervous for yall over here in America considering we have elections in a month and a half and there’s a high chance that it’ll be a shitty day for us too

Apologies in advance, I ended up going on a whole ass rant lol

The same thing that happened in the US in 2016 is happening for us now, we're just lucky that we're not in essentially a two party system like y'all are. People are tired of the establishment and scared due to the recent gang violence and thus are voting for the party that seems different in hopes something will change.

People forget and/or ignore that since the left got back into power the right has stopped them at every step and forced them to follow a right wing budget and go on to complain that they haven't done any of the things they promised. A lot of our issues pre pandemic and Ukrainian war also stem from the 8 years when the right were in power, but as you're probably familiar, the right loves blaming the left for their own incompetence. The leftist part have also fucked themselves and the left block over by being uncooperative until just recently. The Swedish Democrats (SD), a party formed by literal Nazis, are in regards to their worker's rights politics quite close to the Social Democrats (S) which has made it easy for many voters to switch sides. I don't have an issue with this part of SD's politics, the issues arise when it comes to ppl of colour, women, queer ppl etc. They've had openly bigoted people in their party, some of them who have proudly touted being neonazis, for most of their history they've been anti queer rights and even now when they've started accepting gay and trans ppl they still refuse to respect and acknowledge the Q in LGBTQ. They've talked about setting the limit for abortion at 12 weeks instead of the current 18 and many of their party members misogynistic.

The one saving grace with them is that they don't want to be in charge, at least not fully. They're the second biggest party in Parliament currently, but their leader has already said he doesn't wish to be stateminister (although they want a few positions in a right wing government). I'm quite sure this is because they know they do best as the opposition. As long as they're the ones criticising the people in power they look strong, but the few times they've held any level of government they've failed and at least once bankrupted the county they governed.

Then we got the other conservative party Kristdemokraterna (Christ Democrats KD) whose current leader Ebba Busch is a convicted criminal who is out on probation. She committed slander, plead guilty to it and then went out in the press and said that while she plead guilty, she believes herself innocent which I believe ended up getting her in even more trouble. Since RvW was overturned she's insisted her party isn't pro life, but many of the top ranking politicians in her party have said very much the opposite throughout the years, including her if I remember correctly. Simply put they're self righteous hypocrites, but I doubt that surprised anyone.

There's so much more fuckery and I worry about what rights we may lose and how many young men of colour will be murdered by the police in the next 4 years. We're heading into darker times and I fear for us all.

[vampish-glamour]

(1/2) You ever think how "I'm so gay" is just a way of saying "hot"? Where a straight person would say something like "I want to motorboat her tits" or "I've never wanted to suck a dick so bad", tumblr gays will go "not to be GAY... but o,,,,h m y. G o D ! ! hngnngngnggn jesus chRISt". With lesbians this is seems especially bad. Ime (I'm a lesbian myself) it's rare to see a lesbian openly express her attraction without these weird contortions even outside of tumblr.

"so gay" anon (2/2) I wonder how much of it has to do with demonization of sexuality both male and female (you don't want to sound like an icky STRAIGHT MAN, the horror! vs women in general being judged for expressing attraction vs lesbians in particular struggling against the sexsless "uwu soft gorls flower crowns" stereotype), and how much of it has to do with wanting to signal an in-group and a stereotypically female need to make it like a communal experience (tumblr being mostly afab).

Oh, absolutely.

(Future me coming back here after I wrote my response. Buckle up, I have Thoughts.)

You’re right on the money here, especially since it’s something I’ve experienced myself.

There’s so much demonization and weird expectations around sexuality. Including but not limited to;

Demonizing people who express sexual attraction to women, viewing them as “predatory”

The experience lesbians specifically often have with feeling alienated from their straight girl peers (not being able to do typical platonic things found in female friend circles like hugging, braiding hair, holding hands, etc. Without fearing being seen as predatory)

Thinking all straight men are just straight up rapists

Seeing sexual attraction as icky and impure, and favouring romanticized “she has such pretty hair”, “I want to kiss her cheek”, “I want to hold her hand in a flower field”, etc.

As far as the last point goes, you’re absolutely right that it happens mostly with wlw (especially lesbians though since unlike bi women we’re only attracted to women, so it’s our whole attraction that’s affected. And the word “lesbian” itself is often seen as inherently gross and predatory. Not saying this doesn’t affect bi women—because it does—just making the distinction).

Look through any wlw, sapphic, or lesbian tag on Tumblr. It’s likely to be filled with all these cutesy things that often infantilize same sex attraction to women. Calling women “girls”, talking about how “pretty” they are, talking about flowers a lot for some reason, and honestly the overall tone that’s used which is very “uwu innocent soft girl”. So eventually you get bombarded with things like “omg girls are so pretty, just look at how their hair twirls, I just wanna braid flowers into it, I’m so gay”.

And everyone’s scared to go further than that and go into the gross sexual territory—because if anybody dares to express sexual attraction towards women? They’re evil and misogynistic and predatory. If you’re wlw and you’re doing it? Omg, you’re making women unsafe in locker rooms!! What, are you looking at them???

Sorry, this is sort of turning into a rant on how suppressed wlw sexuality is. Because it bothers me so much. And yes, I was 100% somebody who would say “omg not to be gay but”/“wow I’m gay”/“I’m having gay thoughts right now”/etc. In place of “wow, that lady is hot”. So it’s something that’s personal and close to home for me.

Point is, you’re so right and you should say it. Because this is such a common problem. I think it could also be a result of same sex attraction being so sexualized (in the case of men it’s usually to portray SGA as “icky, in the case of women it’s usually to make porn), and SGA people feeling the need to push back against that and say “no, look, we’re just as pure as you are!!”.

It’s a lot of things coming together and working against us. And now we have “I’m so gay” as a way to express attraction without having to deal with the negative repercussions of expressing attraction as a gay/bi person, especially a gay/bi woman.

Despite all this, I think that there genuinely is a problem with people throwing around “I’m so gay” without any of these things factoring in. Because I see people saying things like “I like iced coffee, I’m so gay haha” or “I’m so gay, I can’t even drive”. That I think is just a result of the word “gay” being watered down so much, so now it means “quirky” instead of “homosexual”.

But where it’s used in place of “wow that’s hot” or “holy shit she’s gorgeous”, or anything of the sort? Absolutely a result of the demonization around same sex attraction.

So to sum my thoughts up, because I think this is really important to talk about;

Sexual attraction is still seen as “impure”. This goes double for same sex sexual attraction.

Any sexual attraction to women is seen as predatory. Often due to homophobia, it’s seen as worse when it comes from wlw.

To escape being seen as gross and predatory, wlw (and honestly SGA people in general) have adopted a culture of purity, femininity, romanticism, and flowery prose to come off as anything but sexual.

This leads to language like “that’s so hot” being replaced with more acceptable alternatives like “I’m so gay”. This way the feelings of attraction can be communicated, but not explicitly because that would be Bad.

[rantingcrocodile]

It's curious seeing your "not like the other girls" carrousel from woke, then radfem, then "radical bifeminist" and then when that schtick didn't make you feel speshul enough now you're the actual real feminist ofc. Next week you'll coin bimisogyny exempt and bimisogyny affected and who knows what else after that. Maybe going full trad antifeminist then inventing a religion?

I find it curious that you see a woman that says, "Biphobia is bad and I'm not going to accept it" as the #NotLikeOtherGirls, but don't see the "I'm a bisexual and I hate bisexuals too, please offer me your boot so I can keep licking it" bisexuals around this space as #NotLikeOtherBisexuals, to be honest.

It's interesting that you have that snark, but it's actually incredibly useful to talk about, I think.

I did my stint as the "trying to be a good person and support TRAs while being a feminist" until peaking there years back and embracing feminism (particularly radical feminism) offline and doing different things in my own real life, then coming here to vent-vent generally. It was easier to dismiss individual biphobes when having a handful of bisexual friends offline and doing my reading, but considering there are no actual bisexual spaces, it's been amazing being able to connect and make amazing friends with bisexual women across the world, getting new insights from them and realising how much more we had in common for simply being bisexual women than I knew. After all, bisexual friends in real life are from the same areas, have similar contexts, whereas being able to talk openly with bisexual women from the other side of the planet from entirely different cultural contexts and faiths and backgrounds and still connecting as deeply as we have was an even bigger eye-opener.

It's all dominoes. I hadn't seen all of the studies that I've now seen. I hadn't realised, despite being against blatant biphobia, how much internalised biphobia I was still carrying that other bisexuals have helped me with privately.

So, getting together with other bisexual feminists, the thought was, "You know what, radical feminism is a great ideology and political belief system that tells the truth, we just need to stand together to see if we as a small group can have our own branch," right until we kept talking and kept seeing more and more and more radfems being biphobic, and more bisexuals coming together to add their own thoughts, and then coming to the actual realisation that radical feminism as an ideology, despite being full of truth, still draws misogynists and bigots to it, still promotes biphobia and hatred of bisexual women, where the eventual conclusion was... none of our value systems have changed, none of our actual beliefs have changed, but do we want to associate with something that is designed to hate us? And I didn't have an argument against that.

It's been a steep curve because it's been a case of peaking about biphobia and continuing to peak about biphobia and actually being able to have a space to be bisexual feminists and hear more voices, with a constant, "Oh, shit, you're right," when listening to other bisexual women - right while radical feminism tells us that there is nothing in common that all bisexual women can have. It's a real taste of class consciousness in a small dose and it's incredible.

So what you might scoff at and then dodge your unironic misogyny in clinging to the "must compare bisexual women to predatory men" shit, I see as personal growth and gratitude to other bisexuals women, recognising the value of fighting for our own rights and our own liberation.

I appreciate you being a fan, though. As well as your bitterness that I literally have not changed in any way aside from being more sure and concrete in my boundaries.

But it's really not a surprise that you see nothing but "biphobia is bad" and scoffing about imagining me as some kind of MRA despite you and plenty of others like you protecting straight men constantly so that you can abuse bisexual women instead. Especially when you use the word "woke" like it's derogatory, just like the usual 4chan dudebros.

Tell me what's worse: a woman discussing political ideology and being unsure what to name it and settling on the simplest truth, or some dumb as shit biphobe like yourself who pretends to be a "radfem" for clout?

You going to drop your @ so I can point and laugh at all the lying posts you have on your blog about "female solidarity" and "I want liberation for all women," or are you going to sit back and keep pissing yourself while you continue to obsess over me?

[mldrgrl]

Would You Lie With Me and Just Forget the World?

by: mldrgrl Rating: PG Summary: A little ‘what if?’ AU during Fight the Future, if Scully had gone to Salt Lake City.  Inspired by the wonderful little poem Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol.  (Sweet midnight, Anon, I think this fits nicely with your prompt as well)

“Salt Lake City, transfer effective immediately.”  She hesitates in his doorway for only a moment, and then she turns to leave.  “I have to go.”

His head is spinning and his heart is racing.  He springs up from his desk to chase her down, to stop her from leaving.  He makes it to the hall, but all he can manage is her name.  She stops at the elevator, her back to him.  He sees her ball her hands into determined little fists and the way she takes a deep breath and straightens her spine.  When she turns, the wobble of her chin and the tears in her eyes threaten to break the composure she’s just worked so hard to muster.

There’s an ache in his chest.  He wants to tell her everything in that moment; how much she means to him and how much he needs her.  He’s as afraid that she’ll think he’s only talking about their work as much as he’s afraid she’ll know he isn’t talking about work at all.

“Is this...is this what you want?” he asks.

The elevator doors open up behind her and she turns away from him to step inside.  He moves a few steps closer and then she turns around again and he stops.  She only gives him a glance before bowing her head.  The doors close and he’s alone in his hallway.  He doubles over, hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.  It feels like he’s been kicked in the gut.

With Scully sent to Utah, Mulder is reassigned to counter-terrorism.  He hates it.  Hates the work, hates the other agents in the unit, and hates his new superior.  They’ve got him chasing down suspicious purchases of fertilizer and harassing confused farmers day in and day out.  Shit detail.  He’d quit, but he doesn’t like the thought of how smugly satisfied They’ll be knowing he had given up.  Easy as it would be to search the directory for her new information, he doesn’t even contact Scully.  Nor does she contact him.  He doesn’t drive by her old apartment and he takes her number out of his speed dial.  He refuses to be broken.

He lasts six weeks.

Six long, torturous, miserable, and painful weeks and then he’s at the airport one Friday afternoon, booking the next flight out to Salt Lake City.  For four and a half hours he gorges himself on tiny bags of peanuts and shreds his cocktail napkins into tiny pieces on the tray table in front of him.  He rents a car and drives the few miles to the field office in the area, solely relying on hope and a hunch that she’ll be there.

His badge gets him in the door without issue, but he can’t go aimlessly wandering the halls.  He stops a woman pushing a cart, assuming she’s a mail clerk that will know every office blindfolded.  Luck is on his side.  When he asks where he can find Agent Scully, she tells him to take the stairs down one flight, third door on the right.  He takes a few deep breaths in the stairwell and wipes his sweaty palms on the front of his pants before he heads down the hall.

He passes a janitor’s closet and a storage room.  The third door is missing a real nameplate.  Someone has scribbled SCULLY onto a piece of lined paper, ripped that in half, and taped it to the empty slot where a nameplate should be.  The door is open, but he knocks anyway, just a few light taps with his knuckle as he enters.

Scully is hunched over a small table in the corner, squished between a bookcase and filing cabinet.  The room is cold, dimly lit, and not a window in sight.  It’s barely bigger than a broom closet.

“You can take the girl out of the basement,” he says.  “But, I guess you can’t really take the basement out of the girl.”

Scully blinks as she looks up and drops her pen on the table.  She looks the same to him, but changed somehow.  Her eyes, he realizes, look grey.

“Mulder,” she says.  “What are you doing here?”

“I was in the neighborhood.  Thought I’d check out the new digs.”  He looks around.  He bets if he stretches his arms out, he’d be able to touch both sides of the walls.  “Please tell me this is just temporary while they renovate the corner office for you.”

She doesn’t answer, just looks down at the papers on the table and begins collecting them into a neat pile.  Watching her gather her things in this pathetic excuse for an office, he feels like his heart is being squeezed in a vice.  She doesn’t deserve this.

“What’re you working on?” he asks.

“Nothing,” she answers.  “Reviewing autopsy reports.”

“Can I take you to dinner?”

She checks her watch and glances past Mulder to the door.  He turns to see what she’s looking for, but there isn’t anything there.  She’s nervous, he realizes, but he doesn’t know what for.

“Or maybe I should go,” he says.  “I didn’t mean to...catch you off guard.”

“No, it’s okay,” she says, softly.  “It’s been a long week.  Do you mind if...we could order in.”

“Sure.”

He scans her bookshelves as he waits for her to pack up her satchel.  Nothing but textbooks on forensics and pathology, some of them with cracked, ancient binding.  She turns the light off and he follows her down the hall and up the stairs.  She pauses for a moment and waves a file folder in her hand.

“I just have to…” she says.

“Take your time.”

She nods and knocks on the first door to the left.  He hears a mumbled conversation and nonchalantly steps into the view of the open office.  Scully is in the antechamber of another office, passing the file folder to a woman who looks like she just sucked on a lemon.  Her disdain is more than obvious and Mulder wonders what it’s about.  For a fleeting second, the woman’s eyes meet Mulder’s and her expression turns from sour to suspicious.  He turns his head and keeps moving past the door to wait for Scully.  She comes out a few moments later with her eyes forward and doesn’t look at him, doesn’t wait for him as she heads to the exit.  He follows a few paces behind.

“You drove?” she asks.

“Got a free upgrade to a Toyota Corolla,” he answers, waggling his brows at her.  “Riding in style around the Beehive State.  What was the deal with the wicked witch of the west back there?”

“Things are different here.  People are...different.”  She turns her head and a slight breeze ruffles her hair.  He almost lifts his hand to brush it out of her eyes.  “I’m over there.”  She points to the left of the parking lot.  “You can follow me out.  It’s not far.”

“After you.”

He watches her walk away.  The tired slump of her shoulders and bowed head is depressing.  He doesn’t even have to see her face to see how sad and defeated she is.  He’s angry with himself for waiting so long to come to her.  He should’ve been on a plane immediately.  He should have never let her go.

The drive to her apartment is only about ten minutes.  The building is compact and lacks character, bland and beige and ugly.  Next door is an empty lot of dirt and shrubs and a clear view of the highway.  He hopes the interior makes up for the exterior.  His hopes are dashed as soon as he steps foot inside.  It’s even worse.

Her apartment is a studio with ancient appliances and worn carpet. Clearly, it came furnished with pea-green, threadbare chairs and a pull-out couch.  He doesn’t recognize a thing.  What little she does have is still in boxes, pushed up against the walls and stacked to make as much room as possible.  They’ve stayed in nicer motels throughout the years.  He hates everything about it, but especially that this is what she’s been calling home for the last six weeks.

“It’s temporary,” she says, watching him look around.  

“You don’t deserve this,” he replies.  

“I didn’t have much of a choice.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.”

“It’s over, Mulder.  You need to accept that and move on.”

“Move on?  Are you serious?”

“What do you want from me, Mulder?  The files are destroyed.  The OPR was quite clear that there’s no hope of ever reinstating the department.  I’ve been exiled to what’s arguably the least friendly, most backwards and misogynistic field office in the country, which I’m sure was intended to break my resolve somehow.”

“Then why are you still here?”

“If I quit now, they win.  I don’t see you walking away.”

The defiant tilt of her chin ends the debate.  He nods in agreement and shoves his hands into his pockets in frustration.  She’s right, as usual, and he hates that she’s right about this.  But, he didn’t come here to argue.  He takes his hands out of his pockets and swings them awkwardly for a moment.  He wants to touch her, but he doesn’t.

“I need you,” he says.

“You don’t need me,” she whispers as she sinks down and perches on the edge of one of the chairs.  “You never have.  I just held you back.”  For a few moments, she holds her face in one hand and rubs her temples.  When she looks up, her eyes are heavy and tired.  She blinks and then her eyes well up and she looks down at her lap, picking at the skin along her thumbnail.  

“You’re wrong, Scully.  You are so wrong.”

“Why did they assign me to you, Mulder?  To rein you in.  To shut you down.”

“And you saved me.  Your goddamn strict science and rationalism have saved me a thousand times over.  You kept me honest.  You made me a whole person.  And I’m not...”  He pauses and swallows hard against the tightening in his throat.  He’d built up his courage and come out here to tell her all the things he’d held back, but fear has a merciless stranglehold on him and steals his voice.

She looks up at him with her brows furrowed and he kneels down in front of her.  He puts his hands on her knees, palms up, and she automatically slips her hands into his as if they’ve done this a thousand times.  He bows his head over their hands for a few moments and then looks up and gazes openly into her eyes.

“I’m not just talking about the work,” he says.  “When I say I need you, I mean you are the other half of me.  You’re right, they’ve taken everything from us and I’ve spent these last weeks being furious and disgruntled and railing at the injustice of...we were so close, Scully.  We were on the verge.  But...but…”

She squeezes his hands and he bows his head again.

“It’s not the work I want back,” he says. “It’s you.”

She chokes on whatever reply she’s about to give and then lowers her head so her forehead rests against his.  He pulls his hands free of hers and wraps his arms around her, nearly pulling her from the chair and into him.  She hides her face against his shoulder and both hands slide over the back of his head and through his hair.

“What do we do?” she asks.  “I know you, Mulder, you’ll never give up.”

“I’m not giving up.  The only thing I know for sure is that I’m not leaving here without you.  Everything else...I don’t know.”

Her fingers tighten, pulling gently at his hair.  He leans his head against hers and they stay that way until finally she picks her head up and stares at him.  He brushes his thumbs along the crescents beneath her eyes, damp with tears.  Her lips part even before he leans in as though she anticipates his kiss.  He whispers her name as their mouths meet and her whimpered reply makes the six weeks away from her worth the lost time.

When they pull back, maybe minutes or hours later, there’s a mixture of shock and awe in Scully’s expression and Mulder can’t help the lopsided and goofy grin that pulls at his cheeks.  He can feel every muscle in his face lift in happiness and then Scully smiles as well.  She’s the first to look away, glancing to the side at the pull-out couch and then biting her lip when she returns to his gaze.

Like most things, they don’t discuss the next step.  Mulder gets up and takes Scully’s hands to help her from the chair.  They empty the couch of cushions, stacking them in a little space next to the arm that she’s designated as the holding area, and then they unfold the bed together.  They remove blazers and shoes and belts, but come to an unspoken agreement that that’s enough for now.  Cuffs and collars are loosened for comfort and then they lay down facing each other, nose to nose, Mulder’s arms around her and Scully’s arms folded between them with her hands on his chest.

They take turns pressing soft kisses to one another’s face; her cheek, his brow, the side of her nose, his chin, the back of her jaw, the corner of his mouth.  Things escalate slowly and gradually.  The lazy circles Mulder makes against Scully’s upper back move lower until his hand rests lightly at the hint of a curve below her hip.  Their legs shift and twine.  Scully moves one hand to Mulder’s side, fingers tugging unconsciously at his shirt.

The bed is surprisingly comfortable, not that Mulder would notice if it wasn’t.  It does squeak though with nearly every move they make and they can’t help laughing at the absurdity every so often.  He can’t believe the anger and heartache he’s been holding for the last six weeks has evaporated so quickly into joy.  He can’t believe he’s here and that they’re doing this.

And then things simmer and slow and then they’re back to where they started, nose to nose, albeit a little more entwined.  He could be afraid she’s changed her mind or that this isn’t what she wants, but he isn’t, not with the way her fingers play at his nape or the way she moves to trace his lips every so often with the pad of her thumb.  No skin has even been uncovered and yet he feels more exposed and naked than he ever has been, and he’s not afraid of that either.

“What do we do now?” she whispers.

“Got any good Chinese takeout around these parts?”

She smiles and brushes his nose with his.  He shifts and sighs and they both tighten their hold on each other, just a little.

“I don’t know,” he says.  “You should...be a doctor.  Go be a doctor while you still can.”

“Maybe one day I will be.  But, you haven’t found the truth yet and I have my own questions that need answers.  I have...my own injustices that need to be resolved.”

“You wanna go rogue?”

“I’ve been out here for the past six weeks thinking that I didn’t want to burn bridges.  I thought maybe if I kept my head down, stayed below radar, I’d earn the chance to come back.”

He nods.  “How’s that been working out?”

“Not very well.”

“I’m at the end of my rope, Scully.  Tell me you feel the same.”

She slides down and curls herself up against his chest.  He makes a shelter out of his arms and curves himself around her in return.

“We’ll figure it out,” he says.  “Just maybe not right now.”

“Thank you for coming after me.”

“I’ll always come after you.”

“I know.”

They fall asleep twined like a yin and yang; two halves, one whole.  He’s needed respite from his crusade for so long and tonight he has it.  Tomorrow, they’ll form a plan, but for now, they’ll lie together and just forget the world.

The End

[starklore]

I think I've said this before but like I genuinely think if we're going to reckon with the misogyny of the 00s then we NEED to talk about the Twilight backlash, that needs to be part of the conversation.

There are valid criticisms to be made of the books, but those criticisms are not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about the graphic violence people wished upon Stephenie Meyer, specifically because she wrote a book they found annoying or poorly written. I saw people wish they could throw a slushie filled with rusty nails on her face. I saw people say they'd be happy if she committed suicide. I saw people wish she would have a miscarriage. These are not valid criticisms, and the people saying them didn't even try to justify them with valid criticisms; they explicitly said this shit because they just found the books annoying.

Teenage girls were sexually denigrated, harassed, and mocked by adult men and that was encouraged and celebrated. The "Edward Cullen popsicle" thing. "Girls only like Twilight because they're hormonal." Speculating on the kinks and sexual desires of teenage girls. Even public figure like Stephen King got in on it. I had actual teachers in high school who made fun of me for liking the books.

Like I think when we look back on it it's easy to focus on the more subtle misogyny that still exists now--the holding it to a higher standard than male power fantasies, the denigration of romance as a genre, the whole Mary-Sue thing.

But it wasn't like that at the time. That was there, ofc, but a lot of it just wasn't that subtle and wasn't even pretending to be in good faith. It was literally just people openly beating up on this book series, its author, and it's fanbase, specifically for being female and female-led. It was really blatantly misogynistic and it was completely socially accepted.

That honestly does a number on your psyche, especially as a teenager. It took me a long time to unpack the ideas that were being reinforced by every corner of the fucking universe. I hid my love of romantic fantasy stories, I liked the books "ironically" and talked about what I disliked more than anything, I laughed with people when they mocked them, I agreed that vampire shouldn't sparkle and that Bella was a total Mary-Sue, and that was bad.

And I do think there's a direct line to be drawn between all of that, and the way female popstars were treated at that time. Sexual and romantic expression being heavily policed and considered an acceptable platform for public debate, slut-shaming teenage girls, anything popular among women and girls is assumed to be devoid of artistic merit, the hand-wringing over female role models (literally no one asked if Harry Potter or Justin Timberlake were good role models for Young Boys), etc.

Idk. If we're talking about how omnipresent blatant misogyny was in the 00s, this feels like a weird thing to leave out.