#and don’t want to accept there are times when he judgment is clouded | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kyunzin · 1 year ago

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𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐦𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲

✰ characters ✰ 𝐘. 𝐄𝐫𝐞𝐧

✰ summary ✰ don’t say things you don’t mean, unless you do mean them. in that case eren can fulfil all your requests (f!reader)

✰ tags/warnings ✰ nsfw, ex!eren, alcohol use, degradation, spanking, daddy kink, cum eating, squirting. praise kink, overstimulation, pussy licking

✰ kyun’s note ✰ it’s been long overdue, two long fics in a row is tough gang dont do this at home. also sorry for any spelling mistakes i am sleep derived

it was definitely a good idea to go out with the girls

it was probably a bad idea to not send eren home with all the drinks you had earlier clouding your judgment

it was absolutely going to hurt in the morning but that is the last thing that's on your mind right now it will be a problem for later

you and eren had gotten together in high school and stayed together for the duration of high school. the both of you being fairly well known though he was more popular than you were.

the both of you had different passions and wanted to peruse different careers. him wanting to play basketball professionally and you didn’t really want to have a boring 9-5 either so you chose to be an influencer.

you both supported each other and both of you became very successful in what you did. eren signing with a good team and you having nearly up to a million followers. you made sure to go to every one of his games and he would be sure to mention you on his socials and even point to you at games.

the two of you even had a child together who both of your fans adored. you had him early in both of your careers and had enough money to support him growing up, the two of you thought that you would be able to live the rest of your lives as a family.

that was until about 4 years later when eren’s schedule became to hectic and he spent more time practicing and being out of the country for games to even be home with you, there was a gradual build up to that which you thought you could get through but in the end you realised it was too much for you and he accepted that.

in the end the both of you decided to spilt apart as is was just too much on you. both of your fan bases were sad to see their favourite couple break apart but you assured them that it was mutual and the two of you ended on good terms, deep down you still loved him but you let him go knowing it was for the better.

eren always made sure to send money to support both him and you even though you told him that he didnt need to send you money as well. he also did regular calls to check in to see how the both of you were doing, and when he was back in the country he made sure to see you if he could spending time with his son and even you.

you know he loved his son from the way he would always get souvenirs from countries when he was out and even got some jerseys from his sons favourite players even if he did pout complaining because he wasn’t his favourite.

this went on for about a year and it worked really well for the three of you, your sons fifth birthday passed with eren doing his all to be there buying him an expensive gift that your son absolutely loved. eren had lately had been spending more time over due to the season, there not being a lot of games and you decided you wanted to go out since it had been a while.

eren has said he would take care of your son while you went out with your friends saying that you deserved the time to have fun. he took your son over to his house so that you could get ready in peace telling you he would keep him for the weekend so you could relax.

once the both of them had left the house you called both sasha and mikasa telling them the plans and they decided to come over to help you get ready. they arrived soon with their things and the three of you started to get ready.

you had your hair and make up done all that was left was your outfit. you had no idea what to wear as it had been a long time since you had gotten dressed up like this, the girls made their way to you closet and started picking through your stuff looking for something for you to wear.

being pregnant had made big changes to you body which left you feeling less than confident after your giving birth but as the years went by some changes left and some stayed. for one your tits and ass filled out as well as you hips getting wider giving you a near hourglass figure.

you were pretty self conscious about your body but everyone around you encouraged you to embrace your new body as they said it made you look sexy and you believed them, looking at yourself differently you loved your new self.

the girls had picked out a dress you don’t even remember buying. a long-sleeve red dress that stopped just under you ass with red cross slits trailing down the side exposing some skin. you paired it with a classic set of black heels and a red bag to match.

the other two were also ready when you had finished getting dressed so you made sure you had everything you needed and sasha drove you to the club blasting music all the way there.

you got into the flub with no problem all of you being over the required age and the three of you went to get drinks to start your night off, weaving your way through the bustling crowd and over to the bar where you all order your first round of drinks keeping you tab open just in case you want to get more.

you and mikasa take a few more shots sasha only having a few being your designated driver for the night not that she really needed any as she would be asked to have just as much fun either way. after you finished your drinks the three of you moved over into the dancing crowd losing yourselves to the music.

you swung your body to the beat of the music sasha in front and mikasa behind you, your as shaking with every sway of your hips. you could tell that many men wanted to join you but you could see both of the girls pushing the away as they know about your lingering feelings for eren.

the song changes and you recognise it as ‘mad at me by sexxy red’ realising that you know the lyrics and you start singing it along with the others in the room, knowing it lyric for lyric shaking your ass to the beat people around you dancing to the music.

when the next line come on you shout it out like there's no tomorrow “fuck me like you mad at me baby, I need a freak to drive me crazy!” and you sing the rest of the song with the same passion until it finishes and you’re out of breath.

the next song plays and you feel all the energy you had from before now depleted and decide to go pay for your last drink of the night leaving sasha and mikasa on the dance floor.

it didn’t take long for you to reach the bar and pay but on your way back to the girls some one stopped you trying to pull you for a dance. but you quickly pushed them away not in the mood walking to your friends even faster.

you get to the girls in record speed in no time though all the remaining energy you had no completed, the girls notice this and decide it’s time for you all to go home.

you drip mikasa home first knowing she has to go to bed for work in the morning. and then sahsa takes you back to your house with you dozing off on the way back. you didn’t even realise that you had faleen asleep until you felt sasha gently shake you awake.

thanking her for the ride home you wish her a safe journey back walking up to your front door, stumbling on the short walk due to the alcohol still flowing in your system. checking the time to see that it was almost past midnight and you know that your son should have gone to bed ages ago feeling bad that you couldn’t tell him goodnight.

when you walk in it takes a while for your eyes to adjust to the light which you were sure you turned off when you left, squinting only to see a figure sitting on the couch. you take off your heels setting them to the side and look up to see the figure still there.

once your eyes get accustomed to the light you realise that’s it’s eren sitting there who has been sitting there staring up at you since you walked in, and you think maybe you’re just hallucinating from the alcohol in your system but upon further inspection you realise that he’s actually there.

“eren? what are you doing here? where’s my baby?”

for a second he doesn’t say anything and just eyes you up but then he speaks up.

“c’mere here baby”

the space between you brows crease at the pet name but you move towards him nonetheless, coming to stand up in from of him looking down at him.

“I dropped him off at my mums place, don’t worry about him for now”

he gently pulls you down to straddle you making your dress ride up a little bit, leaving the two of you face to face. you don’t instantly question his actions but your face conveys your confusion, but instead of saying anything he just sits there rubbing slowly up and down your thighs spread over him.

“what’s going on, is something wrong?”

but instead of answering your question he laughs and pulls out his phone swiping though as if looking for something.

“how about you tell me what this is about first”

you’re confused at first but then once the video starts playing your eyes widen in shock. it’s a video of you in the club singing to “mad at me” shouting the lyrics to the song.

“wanna explain this to me”

he’s still smiling as he says it and you know there's no way to get out of this. there's no possible excuse he would believe after seeing that, which brings up the question of where he got it from.

“who took this video and how do you have it”

he turns off his phone slipping it back into his joggers the action causing you to shift in too of him, your hands coming to rest on his shoulders as to not fall off him.

“it was posted online and someone sent it to me, and don't try change the subject. what’s this about you wanting to fuck. if you wanted some dick all you had to do was say so princess. you know i never say no to you baby”

in truth it had been a while since you were active, though it was mainly because of your lack of time due to taking care of you son as well as working.

part of it had to do with the fact that no dock would be able to compare to eren's. the way he would fuck you was to good for you to ever try it with anyone else.

you had kind of missed this intimate part of your relationship, you knew eren wasn’t the type of guy to sleep around and you are sure if he did you would have found out by now and you didn’t want to seem to desperate by asking him about his life without you as you respected his privacy as he did yours.

“why you silent for pretty, aint got nothing to say or did you really mean what you said. what was it again, you wanted me to fuck you like I was mad at you cause I can do that baby if it’s what you want, do you want that?”

as you contemplate your answer you notice his hands don’t stop but smile drops a serious look falls over his face. he probably knows that your drunk and no os giving you a way out of this.

knowing him if you said no he would step back and act as if it didn’t happen. the thing is that you do want this to happen, maybe it’s the alcohol or the fact that you’re just really pent up and horny but you don’t see a reason to decline his offer.

you nod your head to agree but he doesn’t seem satisfied with that hands stopping to grip at your thighs squeezing them lightly.

“no princess, I need words. you say yes we continue. say no and I’ll take you to bed and go back home, answer me properly”

knowing this is your last chance to back out you appreciate his efforts in order to confirm your consent and it just gives you even more reason to say yes, knowing that he’s being respectful even though he couldn’t have done what he wanted knowing you have no way of defending yourself in this state.

“yes eren, I want this. I want you. fuck me please, i need you“

you hardly have time to register what’s happening before he’s lifting you up and making his way to your old shared bedroom. you wrap you legs around his firm torso and cling onto him tighter, even though you know that there no way he will drop you.

“only since you asked me so nicely, I’ll give you what you need don’t worry baby”

the two of you reach the bed room in record speed and eren gently sets you down on the edge of the bed kneeling down in front of you both of his hands still on the side of your thighs looking up at you with a mischievous grin.

his mouth latches onto you barely clothed sex sucking on your clit in a way that has you gasping out in ecstasy. it’s no lie to say that eren knows every inch of your body inside and out. he knows all the things that make you squirm and scream. where to touch and lick as well as h to e spots indie you that make your arch into his touch.

he moves on from sucking on your clit like a mad man thirsting for water and moves down to you dripping whole, sinking his tongue into your tight heat that hadn’t had any attention for a while. not that there weren’t a few visits from your bullet vibrator it just couldn’t make you cum the way you did when eren would fuck you.

“fuck, she really missed me didn’t she ma?”

the way he’s talking to your pussy has you rolling your eyes, but they then roll for a different reason as he adds one finger teasing his way inside of you alongside his hot tongue. “oh fuck, ‘ren don’t stop please” your hand reaches for his head gripping his hair causing it to fall loose as you pull his face further into your cunt.

both his tongue and fingers pistoling into you at a harsh pace so he not surprised when you end up cumming into his mouth as he starts to suck on your clit. he doesn’t stop scissoring his fingers inside you until you stop cumming and your moans die out, though your legs still tremble slightly due to the force of your orgasm.

“we aint done yet princess, you said you wanted to be fucked right and that’s what you’ll get. flip over”

you may be a bit drunk but that doesn’t stop you from turning over at the speed of light making you a bit lightheaded but you do regret it as you miss when eren pulls of his top and steps out his trousers and boxers, kneeling back behind you slapping his cock against your ass cheeks.

“you ready for me baby?”

he watches as you nod your head eagerly and lines his cock up with your pussy sliding in with predicted ease, filling out all the way to the hilt. both of you let out moans of pleasure “fuck- I missed you” you’re not sure if he’s talking to you or your pussy but you’re to full and stretched out to care. it would be an understatement to say that you also missed the fill of his cock. it was more like the longer you were apart the more you craved to feel him.

he was feeling sympathetic knowing that it had been a while since you had fuck him, or anyone for that matter, but when you start to rock back into him letting out small mewls of pleasure he decides not to hold back. “such a desperate whore, you cant wait to fuck yourself on my cock huh?” his words are accompanied by a hard slap to your ass causing your movements to stagger with a loud moan of “f-fuck, you’re taking too long”

he lets you move as you please for a few more moments before growing impatient and gripping your waist slamming his hips into yours. “d-daddy- fuckk!” you cant see it but you can hear the smirk as he says “you like it when daddy fucks you like this don’t you?” as he sends another harsh thrust you way, rocking the bed with the force of his thrust.

he continues with his timely thrust with the occasional slap to your ass, oscillating between that or squeezing it in both hands and playing with the fat. he can feel the way you clam down on him when he does that, knowing your body inside and out plays well in is favour, not so much in yours.

he spares no energy with is thrusts as he knows you like it when he's rough with you, fucking you into the soft sheets wit vigour, deep strokes hitting your cervix every time, the tip brushing against your sweet spot on every quick roll of his hips.

he's not surprised when he begins to hear your familiar slurred pleas of " daddy please. 's too much. slow down" to which he does the opposite and uses one and to steady your waist and the other one to hold your neck keeping your back arced "remember, you asked for this princess," your unable to move, sheets bunched up in your hands, hips held high by him, face pressed into the bed.

"made it loud and clear waat you wanted and now im giving it to you"

the slick sounds of sex circulate the room, your nonsensical moans bouncing off the walls in the room along with his skin slapping against yours as he hammers is cock into your dripping pussy. "since you asked for it m sure you can take it like a good girl cant you? noting you havent done before"

you can feel is cock start to pulse inside you and you know that he's close , and you're on the verge of release, with the way eren's pounding into you you doubt you'll be able to last much longer as well as the fact that its been ages since your last fuck, which was eren.

"next time you want something, just fucking ask"

the last three words of his sentence are each punctuated with a harsh trust, sending you over the edge as you begin to squirt all over is cock and onto the sheets below you. he can feel the way your pussy spasms around is cock as he fucks you through your orgasm, slowing down to ease you through it.

"that's it cum on daddy's cock, its all fucking yours baby, nobody can have me but you"

its only a couple more languid trusts until he's spilling is hot seed inside you with a groan of your name on his lips, hips stuttering as his grip tightens enough in a way you're sure will leave marks in the morning, body doubling over your trembling frame while he locks his hips with yours, emptying is tick load deep into your pussy.

only wen he's sure that there's no more does e finally pull out of your near limp body and gently rolls you over onto your back. peppering kisses down your torso till he settles between your legs were he begins to suck the cum out of you, causing your legs to clam around is head.

"nononono- fuck. i cant, s too much no more."

he's relentless not stopping even as your and tug at his air, pushing is tongue deep into your pussy and licking your mixed juices out of you. "just one more baby, i know you can give it to me" he's not wrong as only a second after he presses his thumb to your clit, you're cumming for the third time that evening shaking in is hold.

after tat e makes sure to clean you out as best as he can, dressing you into comfortable clothes. after cleaning himself he carries you to the guest bedroom and tucks you in deciding to leave until you reach out to him pulling him back.

he ends up wit is arms wrapped around you and your head tucked underneath is, drifting into a deep sleep. you're sure that in the morning the two of you will have a lot of things to talk about.

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 - 𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐍

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ryanisasleep · 1 year ago

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Im dying for some Nikto x Male Reader :'( There's nothing out there for me. Can I request, Nikto with a Cocky and Arrogant S/O? Can Be SFW or NSFW Thank you ❤️

Nikto x male!reader

(I hope I satisfied it as best as I could <33)

TW: hate sex with feelings and happy ending, insults, brusing.

Ok so if you don't like this, you can block this account and nothing more.

Requests are open if you were wondering :)

Btw I changed a bit the story so it is better in some parts

Ohhhhhhh you made me think of hate sex…god I have a good fucking small story inside my stupid head….raaaaaawwww Gnawing the bars of my enclosure. Btw you are too kind :( there you go ‘boops their head’ you will be 🤍anon.

Hate you…or do I?

NSFW so MDNI - Hate sex, swearing, fighting, blood, sex with hidden feelings

Nikto enjoys seeing your cocky attitude falter as he spits blood on your self esteem and walks over your decisions saying that they are clouded by your arrogant judgment and are not safe to be considered even remotely efficient. . .you thought that being the same rank as him and having relatively the same experiences could be of some help when shaming him all day before crossing eachother’s path and growling at the mere presence of the other.

The situation escalated when he began to push you into any wall anytime he could and bruising your mouth by roughly kissing it with his teeth while digging his nails into your clothed waist. You on the other hand tried doing the same as you weren’t going down without a fight, and managed to dig some bloody cuts on his shoulders. It continued like this; bickering sessions ended up with bruised lips and trembling legs trying to push the other away to regain some dignity.

The hate and tension reached its peak when Nikto ended up pushing you into your bed and digging his teeth into your bottom lip drawing out blood and insults. He ripped off your clothes and you did the same. Some blood and bruises were forming on your bodies but that was a matter for the after.

He wanted to say ‘You did good on the last mission’ instead of ‘You fucker, you failed everything and you couldn’t even do a simple task’ as he scratched forcefully your broad back after pinching the fresh healed wounds on your torso drawing out a silent scream out your mouth. ‘Thanks for your presence and for covering my back- back there’ ‘Shut your virgin ass since you don’t do any better, at least I am a liked person around’, you flipped your positions. Now you were on top of him with your legs pressed between his and you were clamping your teeth down on his neck. It hurt a lot. . .and Nikto couldn’t accept that, his pride was too big and high to let you on him and in a swift move he turned you down on the mattress, ‘You are only good at taking it up the ass! Moron, you should have been a stripper at this point! A failed one because I bet my salary that you wouldn't even grab the attention of a drunken man ahah!’

Spit drooled out his mouth like a carnivore savoring his newly catched prey. He didn’t want to admit it but…he really wanted to see you like that again. He was lost in his own world for a while and got back to his senses after you barked back a cocky:

‘At least I am useful to something, unlike you who can only bark out orders like a certain Colonel I know and be like an angry volcano all the goodamn fucking time!' your voice was restrained as you couldn’t quiet breath since a strong hand was holding you - choking you in the messy bed.

You then yelped out in stinking pain, he sticked his fingers inside you without a warning and without an ounce of lube, such as spit. The stretch was hurtful and you hated how good the pads of his pointer and middle fingers worked around your sensible spot, fucking and overstimutaling it till you were just panting out short breaths and trying to get up on your elbows, to then try to shove the one you looked up the most off. He pushed you down again, this time forcing your neck down and letting breathing become harder, he took away his fingers and pushed your ass up. You could sense his eyes wander to all of your upper and lower back imaging all the thoughts that might be crossing his filthy and rotted brain. You hear his belt unbuckle and the low but intriguing squelches from his fingers taking some of his saliva out the mouth (you really wanted to devour that mouth harshly) and wetting down his cock.

He pushed his length inside without a warning and he grunted out at the sudden enveloping sensation trying his hardest not to bottom out. You wanted to tell him how good it felt, how much you wanted to have his hand prints on your body and how much you wanted your neck to be bruised with his teeth marks and fingers, but only a stream of curses came out of your mouth. He rams into you, mounting you and keeping you close in seemingly fear of you going away, your cock brushing repeatedly the wooly sheets creating a friction that makes you see stars and finish immediately without a warning. After a couple of more seconds he comes into you grunting like an animal, securing you under his crushing weight. He had his eyes closed, his mask long since thrown away in some part of the room and all his features visible.

You saw the burn mark on the right side covering the skin until his eye and the long slash dividing his mouth from the left. You loved him, well love was there but you couldn’t phrase it, you wanted to put your hand under his chin but all you could ever do was to choke him if possible. He feels the same, his heart swells with pain as you twooften brawl but he can't, it's too hard. Nikto wants to try and sew your situationship back to ‘’normality’’ but his voices tell him otherwise, to do anything other than good.

He stays a shameful silent. After some time of not deciding what to do, he rolled to the side and heard the aftermath still inside you and wrapped his arms around your waist.

He knows that now you will get up, clean yourself up and leave while giving him a disgusting look because you have no reason to stay, but that was not what he wanted. His stupid brain couldn’t voice his wants and needs and that resulted in the formation of this vicious cycle of this love-hate relationship. He loved you dearly, but he could only spit out venom because he didn’t know how to phrase what he felt.

Instead of letting his grip loose, he started rubbing small circles on your firm stomach feeling your toned muscle fibers underneath, the veins going under adorned the neatly taken care of hair forming a nice happy trail. You hated not shaving them so they were always short.

He put one of his hands at the center of your chest and passed his fingers between your body hair, sweaty from before, and noticed that your heart rate was very calm, calmer than it should’ve been. He inhaled your scent from the nape of your neck and reopened his eyes as he whispered an almost sad ‘’Don’t leave, please’’.

You shifted, embracing the hand on your lower stomach with your own and sighed. ‘’Why…” you were tired, tired of all of this so you decided to be patient and hear what he had to say.

All he could think of and speak was ‘’Just. . .don’t please.’’ His hands twitched, you knew that sign, he was struggling internally and maybe making some of his thoughts scram away. You took some pity on him and decided to stay as you even had no energy to get up.

A silent strange air hugged you two while he rested, he began to tighten his grip and growl a ‘’Go away, fuck i hate you’’. He was not having this yet you sensed he didn’t really mean it. After he came back, he was different, you found himself many times talking to himself or gripping his forearms in anger so tightly that you swore blood was seeping out of the wounds but as you tried to help him and make him voice what was wrong, the answer you got was ‘’Fuck off’’.

He crawled back like a wounded animal and slipped out many words between voices and strangers taunting him every waking moment of the day. You and Nikto have been first colleagues and then close friends but as he began, over the years, that cycle of insults and unnecessary sparring, you couldn’t do anything else other than fight back.

“Easy there, it’s just us and no one else. you don’t need to do and say anything, remember only things you can touch and feel are real”

It was the mantra you had made him remember like a prayer in case his episodes were becoming too much, but they could only do so little. He repeated them whispering with a broken voice as he breathed heavily.

“Sorry, for everything…” he half cried as he lost the capacity to do so many years ago and sat hiding his eyes in his hands. You turned and looked at him with a sad look, you sat too and put your hand on his back and said “It’s fine”.

With that, you two looked at eachother with knowing looks, he said he loved you but also those parts of him did not, but he did. You said you loved him too and would help him with medications if needed and how to end things up. Being in a relationship was prohibited and could result in both of you being discharged with dishonor so being together was off limits.

The other people on base remained firm in believing that you two hated each other to the bone so you two decided to stick with that routine. Night fell quickly and you found yourself in his arms sleeping the night off. In the morning though, you had to wake up early to not raise suspects.

#x male reader #cod mw2 #cod x male reader #male reader #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty modern warfare 2 #cod nikto #call of duty nikto #nikto x male reader #nikto #male x male #male reader insert

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doomhands-jr · 1 year ago

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The Devil's Advocate - Chapter 6

Pairing: Delinquent!Noah Sebastian X Pastor's Daughter!Reader

Summary: Noah is a delinquent with a lot of anger at the church. You're a pastor's daughter plagued by moral perfectionism, charged with overseeing the community service he's been sentenced to complete. You've never encountered true temptation before. How will you fare up against Noah, who not only isn't bound by the same rules of purity as you, but actively scoffs at them?

Rating: 18+ Minors DNI

Warnings: Smut/angst

Masterlist

Banner by @flowerynerds

___________________________

“Okay,” said Ruffilo, spinning a chair backwards at the foot of Noah’s bed and straddling it. He crossed his arms over the back of it and stared straight into Noah’s soul. “So talk to me.”

Noah didn’t feel like talking. In fact, it was the last thing he wanted to do, but keeping everything bottled up hadn’t fared too well for him. After what happened the other night (he grimaced, not wanting to think about it), he felt like he owed it to himself to talk about it. Not doing so would likely end up in him engaging in even more self-destructive behavior.

Noah leaned back on his bed, head hitting the wall with a soft thunk, arms draped over his bent knees, and closed his eyes.

“I may have done something stupid,” he sighed.

Nick chuckled softly. “I’ve seen you do a lot of stupid things, Noah. I’m not here to judge.”

Nick’s voice held a practiced, precise balance between tenderness and concern. Noah had heard it many times over the years—Nick’s had always been the voice of reason, pulling him back down to earth when his head got stuck in the clouds (which happened a lot in Noah’s case). It was both comforting and, at times, intimidating—especially when it contained sharp truths that Noah wasn’t ready to hear. He suspected he was in store for some of those.

“I may have…,” he trailed off, searching his brain for a combination of words he could accept. “…become attached…to someone.”

He opened his eyes to note Nick’s reaction, but there was none. His face was neutral. Stoic. Kind, even.

“Do you want to tell me who?”

Noah shook his head. Nick tucked his teeth between his lips—a gentle sign that let Noah know he disagreed with the choice, but wasn’t going to press the matter.

“Okay... So why is this an issue?” Nick shrugged.

Noah bit his lip, eyes flicking out his window when Nick’s sincerity became too much for him. He swallowed thickly.

“I don’t think I’m good for her.”

Nick’s eyebrows pinched together and Noah couldn’t handle the sympathy. It felt too much like pity. He chewed the inside of his cheek to distract himself.

“Why would you think that?”

Noah’s heart pounded inside his chest as he fought the urge to bail from the conversation. Three minutes in, and it was already bringing up repressed emotions Noah had no desire to feel.

He breathed deep through his nose to steady himself, digging the heels of his palms into his thighs. How was he supposed to describe the situation? He wasn’t even sure why he felt the way he did, he just had a gut instinct.

“So she’s like, religious or whatever,” he began.

“Hold on,” Nick held up a hand to pause, his demeanor still unbothered. “Is this the pastor’s daughter Folio was talking about?” he asked, and Noah’s heart jumped into his throat. “Not a judgment, just a question,” he followed up.

Noah hadn’t realized just how tense he’d become and forced his shoulders to relax. Though Nick was the least judgmental person he knew, he still couldn’t help but feel like he was on trial.

Noah nodded reluctantly. “How much did he tell you?”

“Not much,” Nick said with a shrug. “Just that you guys had a bet going.”

Noah scowled. “I never agreed to be part of that.”

Nick, calm as ever, simply blinked back. “I didn’t think you would.” His eyes scanned over Noah’s frame, likely noticing how on-edge his friend was.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

Noah puffed out a breath, wrapping his arms around his knees to quell the tension in his diaphragm. He didn’t know why he was so nervous to talk about this—Ruffilo clearly cared about him and had never, ever judged him. Perhaps Noah judged himself so harshly that he couldn’t imagine anyone else not.

“No,” he said, words finally flowing from him like a pressure release valve had been flipped.

“I’m not okay. I don’t know what to do. I can’t stop thinking about this girl, but I feel like I’m so fucked up and I just know I’m gonna end up hurting her somehow. And I think she likes me too, which makes it that much harder to stay away.”

He pressed his palms into his eyes to equalize the pressure that had built up behind them.

“I’m a fucking mess,” he continued fidgeting with a rip in his jeans. “I don’t have my shit together at all , and eventually she’s going to see how pathetic I am and leave me for someone better.”

“Whoa,” said Nick, face remaining neutral, but voice taking a more assertive tone. “Hold on. You’re making a lot of wild assumptions here.”

“Am I though? She’s a virgin and I can’t go a week without sticking my dick in someone.”

Nick brought his finger up to his chin, eyes glazing over as he thought. “That does seem like an obstacle. Does she know this about you?”

Noah paused his fidgeting. “I don’t know,” he confessed. “I think she sort-of knows? But I don’t think she realizes how bad it is.”

“Is bad the right word?” Nick asked. Noah leaned his head back, tapping the crown of it against the wall several times over.

“You’re missing the point.”

“I don’t think I am,” said Nick, folding his arms in front of him. “I think you’re catastrophizing because you’re scared.”

“Dude!” said Noah, throwing his hands in the air. “Can you not?!”

Nick snickered into his hand, knowing he had finally gotten to the bottom of what had been eating at Noah.

“Sorry, yes,” said Nick, struggling to keep his face straight. “You are alone in your problems. Nobody has ever dealt with anything like this before and you suffer uniquely .”

Noah huffed, dropping his arms.. “Thank you. Finally someone gets it.”

Nick smiled at his friend, then gave him a look that brought the conversation back to a serious note. “Do you really think you’re incapable of change?”

Noah sucked on his teeth. “I think that’s what I’m scared of.”

Nick rocked forward on his chair, balancing it on its two hind legs. “Are you willing to try?”

Noah rubbed his hand up and down his calf, “I don’t know.”

The chair Nick was on slammed back down on all four legs, creating a thud that echoed through the room. “I don’t know what to tell you man,” Nick said, standing up and stretching. “You either want the girl or you don’t.”

“Thanks,” Noah said flatly. “That really helps.”

Nick sat down beside Noah on the bed, pressing his shoulder into Noah’s.

“You’ll figure it out,” he said. “You have a lot of great qualities. There’s a reason she’s drawn to you. Personally, I’m really happy to call you my friend. And if it worries you that much, you can always try being honest with her about your concerns.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Noah said, trying to diffuse the sincerity with humor. He’d always had a difficult time accepting genuine affection, and Nick had a habit of giving it when it was most needed.

“You might find,” he continued, “that she, like the rest of us, accepts you for who you are. Warts and all.”

“It’s a lot of warts,” Noah said.

Nick nodded in agreement. “It is a lot of warts.”

For the first time since the beginning of their conversation, Noah cracked a smile. The pressure of Nick’s arm against his was comforting and he wanted to lean into it more, but he didn’t. He wasn’t ready to admit just how needy he was for affection.

There was a time in Noah’s childhood where he’d expressed his needs. The need for reassurance. The need for affection. The need for love and kindness. Somewhere along the way though, he’d learned that his needs were a burden to his caregivers. Any time he asked, he was met with irritability and annoyance, and it wasn’t long before Noah received the message that his parents would only accept him if he didn’t ask for anything.

He cut off the part of him that needed. The part that yearned. That part of him only brought about pain and rejection, so he treated it with disgust until it learned to never show its ugly face. Noah prided himself in his ability to be self-sufficient. And no, he never did end up earning the love he had wanted from his parents, but at least he didn’t get rejected by them as much.

Now that he was older, he was starting to realize that being self-sufficient wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. He knew he had to soften, and he would…one day. It was just that right then, he had so much he was already struggling with. Adding another task on top of the pile was overwhelming.

So he settled for begrudgingly allowing his needs to be met whenever his friends insisted.

“Thanks, man,” he muttered, not enjoying the way it felt coming out, but knowing it needed to be said.

“Anytime,” his friend said, nudging his elbow deeper into Noah. “I’m here if you need to talk.”

Nick waited a beat before continuing.

“For what it’s worth, I think you should go for it. It sounds like she’s good for you.”

Noah didn’t respond, but knew Nick would never say anything he didn’t mean. Perhaps he couldn’t trust himself just yet, but he could trust Nick, and that was a start.

_______

“Can I ask your opinion on something?” Noah whispered in your ear. He’d snuck up behind you and you just about jumped out of your skin. “Don’t scare me like that,” you said, turning.. His face hovered just over yours, close enough you could almost count his eyelashes, and you had to take a deep breath to keep from flushing. Noah hissed a laugh through his teeth, backing away to a more respectable distance.

It was Saturday morning once again. The first snow had just fallen, and the three of you were freezing your asses off outside. The two men had finished shoveling the walkways, and were now pouring salt along the sidewalks. Nick was about six meters away, scooping salt out of the massive bucket resting on the steps leading up to the church.

“My bad,” said Noah, fighting back his laughter.

“What did you want to ask?”

“What’s your take on lust?” he said, looking over to make sure Nick couldn’t hear.

You blinked up at him. Noah wasn’t bringing this topic up just for the fun of it. He had an agenda, you suspected. The angel on your shoulder screamed to walk away, but the devil on the other whispered for you to take the bait.

You swallowed hard and chose the secret third option—stall.

“You’re going to have to be more specific,” you said, breath coming out in a cloud of steam. Your nose had started to run.

“Like, do you think it’s a sin?” he asked, leaning his weight on the handle of the shovel he still hadn’t put away.

“Well, yeah,” you said. “You’re objectifying someone.”

“How much of the sidewalk do they want us to do?” Nick called. He was almost to the end of the main walkway, but still had yet to touch the sidewalks in front of the church.

“I think the whole thing,” you said, pointing to the sidewalks on either side.

Nick scoffed. “So we’re supposed to spend the entire morning out here? I’m fucking freezing !” he said, wrapping his arms around himself for effect.

“Do you need to borrow a jacket?” you asked. “We have some in the donation bins.”

Nick’s face twisted into something sour. “No thanks.”

You chuckled. “Then I can’t help you. Get back to work.”

He groaned, throwing his head back and stomping off like a petulant child to spread his salt bucket farther down the sidewalk.

“Absolute baby,” you muttered under your breath. It was the truth, but you had a soft spot in your heart for Nick’s antics. It made the day go by faster.

“Even if they don’t know?” Noah asked, once Nick was out of earshot.

“Know what?” you said, turning to face him. You noticed his ears poking out from under his hat. It was stupidly charming, especially now that the red of his earlobes matched the end of his nose, the membranes chilled by the cold.

“That they’re being objectified?” His lisp was more prominent on the last word. He was making it difficult for you to ignore the crush you’d been unsuccessful in getting over—whether or not he knew.

“I don’t know,” you said, placing your hands on your hips impatiently. “I’m not an expert. Shouldn’t you be working?” Up until that point, the conversation had played out like a game of tug-of-war, with both of you having an even grasp over its control, but you could feel your feet slipping.

“My bad,” said Noah, leaning his shovel against the building and taking out a large scoop of salt. He sprinkled it over the sidewalk for the next ten yards and then immediately circled back to you.

“So do you ever catch yourself lusting?”

“Noah,” you scolded, rolling your eyes. “Why are you asking all these questions?”

“Sorry, it’s just,” he said, sliding his foot back and forth in a large arc. His shoe glided over the salt on the sidewalk in front of him, producing a crunching, scraping sound. He sighed before sheepishly looking at you. “Full disclosure? I find myself lusting a lot.”

“What a surprise,” you said flatly. He tilted his head and sucked on his teeth, unamused with your interjection.

“And,” he continued, stressing the word the way a teacher would when interrupted. “I always thought it was harmless because the person I was lusting after wouldn’t find out, so victimless crime, right?”

You raised an eyebrow.

“I had a feeling you would say that,” he said, and you laughed.

“Okay, well, if I may…who are you lusting after?” you asked. As soon as the question left your mouth, your chest tightened, not wanting to know the answer. If he said any other woman’s name, you’d lose it.

“Not important,” he said. He suppressed a smile and you immediately knew he’d seen right through you. It wasn’t the affirmation from him you hoped you’d hear, but that was a long shot anyway. At least he hadn’t said someone else.

You didn’t like the idea of him potentially talking to you about his troubles with women. You held out hope he could be hinting about his thoughts of you, given his actions on Halloween. The idea of him wanting you in that way was intoxicating. But you also knew he had a track record of being promiscuous, so really, it was anyone’s guess.

“I think it’s probably not a good idea to be objectifying people like that,” you answered. “It could lead to treating them disrespectfully.”

You said it, but you weren’t sure you meant it. A selfish part of you didn’t want to discourage him from thinking of you like that.

“What if I could find a way to do both?” he asked. “Objectify and respect?” You found yourself struggling to look directly at him.

You shrugged. “I’m not an expert. We both know I have a complicated relationship with sexuality, so I don’t even know if my opinion counts.”

“I think it counts,” he said. This time, you did chance a look over at him. His hands were stuffed in his pockets, shoulders raised to his ears as he looked at you.

You wrinkled your nose, touched by his candor, but still unsure how you should respond.

“If you feel like you can do both and it doesn’t feel wrong, then I’m not going to try to stop you,” you said.

Noah pursed his lips. “That’s a very diplomatic answer.”

“Can we go inside, please?” Nick whined, walking back up to the two of you. He’d salted about half the sidewalk. He bounced on his heels in a display of impatience.

“Fine,” you sighed. “But find something productive to do. I think the displays need dusting.”

Nick all but bounded up the walkway in glee, stopping to deliver a cold kiss on your cheek before he rushed inside. You stepped back startled at the sudden intrusion into your personal space.

“Dude!” Noah scolded while you processed what had just happened.

“Suck it, Noah!” Nick called back without looking, and you burst out laughing. You liked being able to witness little glimpses into their friendship dynamic. Nick was such an antagonist, but Noah always had a sharp tongue with a witty retort on the end of it.

“Sorry about him,” said Noah.

“Don’t be. I liked it,” you teased, twisting your body back and forth like a schoolgirl with a crush.

Noah reared his head back, looking you up and down with a furrowed brow. “Whore,” he spat, and stalked off dramatically to grab more salt.

Your laughter grew in intensity, now becoming a full-body affair. You shook your head at his sass, deciding to head into the church to make sure Nick was actually working.

Noah didn’t talk to you for the rest of the session. _________

Pausing his game, Noah looked at the clock. It was nearing ten.

On any given Saturday night, he was usually either at a party at Jolly’s or at a bar. Rarely did he spend his Saturdays alone, but that night was different. The knowledge that he could be getting laid at the moment wasn’t lost on him. It gnawed at him incessantly, refusing to let him forget.

He wished he could. There were much better things he could be doing with his time, like trying to figure out what he wanted to do with his life, for one. Or working on his music. Or self-improvement of any kind, but his body had needs, and they demanded his focus.

Perhaps his dick anticipated being inside someone. Perhaps he’d Pavloved his body into expecting pussy at least once per week, always around the same time. He sighed, awareness being dragged down to his lap.

For the hundredth time, his thoughts drifted to you. You’d probably just gotten back from worship band practice and were getting ready to turn in early so you could be up for church tomorrow.

He rolled his eyes at the thought of it, once again struck by just how different your lives were. God, could he even imagine himself being with you? Would you expect him to go to church as well?

His nose wrinkled on his own accord, eyes landing on the silver ring he’d fished it out of the bucket in the supply closet the other week when you weren’t looking. It now sat next to his keyboard, taunting him.

A purity ring. God , the concept was horrific. Why anyone would promise such nonsense was beyond him. Not to mention the fact that they basically forced it on you at such a young age. It made him sick.

He was proud of you for not wanting to wear it anymore. It warmed his heart to see you freeing yourself from that burden.

His stomach churned with guilt. He knew it was wrong for him to have it without you knowing, but in his defense, you’d asked him to take it before tossing it away. Had he known you were that serious about ridding yourself of it, he probably would have taken it when you offered.

He had to admit, there was also something kind of hot about him having your purity ring. He felt like he’d taken a small piece of that precious virgin identity.

His eyes drifted over to the phone sitting beside the ring. Your number was in there. He hadn’t used it yet, but he could if he wanted.

Taking his phone in his hand, he unlocked it, pulling up your contact and opening a new message. You were right there on the other end of it.

He shouldn’t. Talking to you right now was a bad idea, and he knew it. His whole goal was to be better for you. Not to further corrupt you. And there was no way he had the strength to behave himself if he spoke to you at this hour. Not when his body tingled with want and anticipation.

No, staying away from you was the much better option. If he really wanted to talk to you, it could wait until morning. He’d rub one out and go to bed and wake up feeling like a better man. One who had actually resisted the temptations of the flesh, for once in his life.

He sighed and locked his phone again.

He thought back to the conversation he’d had with you that morning. He knew it was a dangerous topic to bring up. He’d had ulterior motives from the get-go. But you’d answered all his questions with grace—not once giving into him the way so many would have. They way he knew he would have given in had it been reversed.

If you’d been the one to bring up the topic of lust, he’d have found a way to bring the topic to the two of you fucking within minutes. He’d have slithered the idea of sex into that conversation immediately and found some way or another to get you thinking about it.

If he did message you this late, you’d probably just turn him down anyway. Hell, you were probably already asleep. And if you did answer, you’d probably just have a casual, civil conversation with him. Or you’d want to talk religion again, which he was actually starting to like.

Still, it was a bad idea. He was too needy. Maybe he should just watch some porn or something. He hadn’t done that in a while.

Sighing, he opened his browser and typed the URLof his go-to site. Immediately, he was met with lewd stills. He tried to look, but it was all so gratuitous and intentionally overstimulating. There was no build up. Nothing left to imagination. Just explicit images of women bent over while men fucked them raw. And none of it sounded like anything he was remotely interested in. At least not at the moment.

Swallowing back the acid that had crept into the back of his mouth, he closed the window, staring down at his boxers with pity.

“I’m sorry, dude,” he muttered to his lap. “Looks like it’s just you and me tonight.”

__________

Your heart squeezed, knowing what was about to happen. Inosuke held Daki’s head in triumph, having just beheaded the demon when something squelched, and Gyutaro’s curved blade pierced through the middle of his chest. Blood spurted out of the boar’s mask on his head, and Tanjiro cried out in anguish for his friend.

You’d watched this episode a half-dozen times, and it still never ceased to tug at you.

An ache was beginning to form in your lower back from sitting in the same position on your bed for too long. Grabbing a pillow, you flopped onto your belly and propped your elbows over it.

You looked over at Stevie’s clock she’d hung above her bed. It was just after ten. You knew you’d have to get to bed soon or else you’d be exhausted for church tomorrow. But perhaps you could fit in one more episode before then…

Your phone pinged. Picking it up, your screen displayed a text from the last person you expected.

Noah 10:08 PM : Okay, so I have more thoughts.

You smiled to yourself. Noah was indeed persistent when he wanted answers. You quickly typed out a reply.

You 10:08 PM : Go on…

Noah 10:09 PM : I agree that objectifying someone without their permission is bad.

You 10:10 PM : Correct.

Noah 10:10 PM : What if I had their permission?

You snorted, diving into the pillow. The man just wouldn’t quit.

You 10:12 PM : Are you alluding to porn? Because I don’t think that’s something God would be cool with.

Noah 10:12 PM : No, not porn. I’m talking about getting someone’s permission.

Noah: 10:12 PM : It would have to be above-board in that case, wouldn’t it?

You 10:13 PM : I suppose…

If he was about to tell you he was going to ask for some other girl’s permission, you would chuck your phone at the wall. He didn’t, however.

Noah 10:14 PM : What are you up to?

You 10:15 PM : Watching Demon Slayer. You?

Noah 10:15 PM : Fallout. Where are you?

You 10:16 PM : In my dorm. Why?

Noah 10:17 PM : What are you wearing?

You laughed, finally seeing through his scheme. And honestly, you found it both sweet and endearing. So much so that you were tempted to give it to him.

You snapped a picture of the oversized, threadbare racecar shirt you were wearing. You’d had it since you were a kid. You couldn’t remember how you got it, but it’s been in your possession since you could remember. By that point, it had collected an impressive set of stains and rips, but the years of wear and tear had softened it into the most comfortable shirt you owned.

You hit send.

You 10:21 PM : Sexy, right?

Noah 10:21 PM : Nice shirt.

Noah 10:22 PM : Almost as good as mine.

The next message contained an image of him in a black shirt with the Lord of the Rings logo on it. He wore big, round glasses and his hair hung down messily over his shoulders. The photo was purposefully unflattering, with him looking down at the camera and distorting the shape of his lower face.

You laughed again, the sound coming out loudly through your nose and you were glad your roommate was still visiting her parents and couldn’t hear you.

You 10:23 PM: Hot.

Noah 10:24 PM : Ikr?

You 10:24 PM : Never been more turned on in my life.

Sending that last text felt edgy. Exciting, even. Like you let slip a little bit of truth wrapped in the sarcasm, and you wondered if he could pick up on it.

Noah 10:24 PM : Is that so?

Got him. You swallowed thickly, wanting to lean into the flirtation without making your feelings too obvious.

You 10:25 PM : What can I say? I have a thing for men with multiple chins.

You watched as three dots appeared, then disappeared, and then reappeared several times before he finally replied.

Noah 10:27 PM : Video chat?

Your heart leapt into your throat, stomach buzzing with nerves. This wasn’t just taking things a step forward, but a whole leap—one with any number of potential outcomes and the unknown both scared and enticed you.

Was this dangerous? Perhaps. But perhaps there was part of you that was ready for some danger, having played it far too safe for the last two decades…

You 10:28 PM : Sure.

You steadied your breath while you waited for him to call you, drumming your fingers on your nightstand. What would you say? Would it be awkward? What if he tried to get you to do something you were uncomfortable with? Would he…

Your thoughts were cut off by the buzzing on your phone. You sat up, straightening your hair in the reflection of your phone screen before answering.

It was a few seconds before Noah appeared on the screen. He sat at a desk, a blank wall behind him. On the left, you could see the head of his bed with a neon backlight. A candle flickered on a nightstand next to it. He wore his long hair pulled back in a bun—a few strands falling pleasingly in front of his face.

“Hey,” he said, his too-big front teeth on display in charming smile and you immediately relaxed into the conversation, feeling a smile creeping onto your own face.

“Hey.”

“Sorry for interrupting your anime,” he said, voice coming out low, gravelly, and slightly muffled. “I was getting sick of gaming.” His lisp was even more prominent through the speakers on your phone, which served to further disarm you.

“No, it’s fine,” you said, shaking your head. “I’ve already seen all the episodes.”

“Is Demon Slayer any good?” His voice echoed in his empty room.

“One of my favorites,” you said.

“Nice. I’ll have to check it out.”

There was a lull in conversation you weren’t sure how to fill, and suddenly you felt self-conscious, fiddling with the hem of your shirt to give your hands something to do. Noah continued to stare at you, rocking side-to-side in his desk chair.

“Is your roommate home?” he asked.

“No, she goes home on the weekends.”

“Nice,” he said. “Do you guys get along?”

You nodded. “For the most part. She’s double-majoring though, so she’s usually in class or at the library. I don’t actually see her much.”

“Does that get lonely?”

“Not really,” you said, playing absentmindedly with a strand of your hair. “I kind of like all the alone time.”

It was true. As much as you enjoyed Stevie as a person, you rarely saw her. She was even more focused on school than you, and that was saying something.

Without thinking, you brought the strand of hair to your mouth, sucking on the ends.

“I get that,” he said, smile growing softer. “I like my alone time.”

“Do you get much of it, living with two other guys?”

“If I go to the studio,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “Nobody bothers me there. Though they usually don’t bother me if I’m in my room, either.”

“What’s it like living with Nick?” you asked.

Noah rolled his eyes. “Loud,” he said. “The man can turn anything into a drum set.”

“Have I met your other roommate?”

“Yeah, actually,” he said, fiddling with something on his desk. You met him at the party for like a minute. Ruffilo. He has long hair.”

“ Everybody had long hair,” you said. He let out a soft laugh.

“True. He’s the one that plays bass. Green eyes.”

“Oh yeah,” you said, vague memory coming back slowly. “It’s a Saturday night. Why aren’t you out?”

Noah shrugged. “I’m getting bored with the party scene to be honest. What about you? Don’t you have some sort of youth group function to attend?”

“Actually, there was an event tonight,” you said. “I didn’t feel like going.”

“You heathen ,” he said, the corner of his lip quirking up into a devious smirk. He said it as a compliment, and your stomach buzzed pleasantly at the praise.

You curled your toes into your sheets while Noah took an opportunity to observe you.

“That hair taste good?” he asked, nodding toward the screen..

“What? Oh!” you said, laughing softly to yourself. You’d been chewing on your hair the whole time without realizing. You dropped the strand; sure you’d probably given yourself some split ends.

“I like you like this,” he said. It was the most genuine compliment he’d paid you, and your insides melted into pools of liquid organs.

“Like what?”

“Cozy. Natural. I like your bedhead.”

You blushed, avoiding eye contact and choosing to stare at your bedspread until you processed the compliment. “Thanks.”

Noah let out a low humming sound meant to fill silence, which you found extremely attractive.

“So what do you got going on tonight?” you asked. You propped your phone up against a water bottle on your night stand and shifted so you were sitting cross-legged in front of the camera. Noah’s eyes ran over your legs before drifting back up to meet yours.

“You’re looking at it,” he said, stretching his arms up over his head and exposing a sliver of stomach. You allowed yourself to stare, taking notice of the ink that decorated it, much like the rest of his body.

“You have tattoos on your stomach too,” you observed.

He dropped his arms and sighed into a bashful smile. “Yeah.”

“Is there anywhere you don’t have tattoos?” you asked.

“Yeah,” he said.

“Where?”

He looked down at his lap and then back up to you, smile devolving into a smirk. He topped it off with a wink.

“Oh!” you said, head jerking back and hand coming up to cover your mouth when you finally pieced together what he meant. “I didn’t mean—Oh,” you said when you noticed his teasing smile. “Just kidding,” he said, and you huffed at his idea of a joke. “I have tattoos on my dick too.”

“What?!”

He hissed out laugh. “You walked into that one.”

“You’re such a jerk,” you said, looking away from the screen and biting your tongue until the blush seeped out of your cheeks. Kidding or not, he was deliberately bringing up his genitals and you were half-scandalized and half-aroused.

“Come on, it was just a joke.” He said, rolling his eyes. Not that you noticed because you were still avoiding eye contact. “I don’t have tattoos on my dick.”

“Well that’s a relief,” you said, finally looking back at him and letting your hand drop back into your lap. “It’d be excessive if you did.”

Noah was certainly in a teasing mood. You liked it, but in the back of your mind, a nagging thought tugged at you and whispered of danger .

“It is pierced though.”

“Noah!” You sat there, mouth agape while Noah’s held his composure. You blinked at him a few times, before shaking your head. “You know what? I don’t even want to know.”

“You sure?” he asked, raising his eyebrows. “It’s quite impressive.”

You held up a hand in refusal. “I’m good, thanks.”

Noah grinned, clearly enjoying how flustered he was making you.

“Wanna see it?” he asked.

“What? No!” you said, feeling your neck grow warm. You half-hid your face in your hands, as if at any moment, it would show itself. You weren’t ready to see that much of him. You liked that he was talking about it, and you liked the flirtation, but that was too much too soon.

“Liar,” he said.

“It sounds like you want me to want to see it,” you said, calling his persistence to attention. He needed to be batted away, you could tell.

He paused, not knowing what to say and then grinned, resuming his swaying.

“In my defense,” he said. “Any guy would want that.”

“Not any guy,” you replied. “Not all guys like women.”

He rolled his eyes. “You know what I meant.”

The conversation dissolved into the two of you grinning at each other, both enjoying each other’s company without needing to fill it with words.

“You don’t actually have it pierced, do you?” you asked, finally, curiosity getting the better of you.

“No,” he said, looking down sheepishly. “I used to, but it got infected and I had to take it out.”

“Are you serious?” You asked in disbelief. He nodded. “How did it get infected?”

“Because I was a disgusting teenager who didn’t clean his shit,” he said with a laugh.

You frowned. “Gross.”

“You’re telling me!” his hand came up to scrub over his face, and you were struck by just how long and beautiful his fingers were.

The thought of them inside you flashed in your mind before you could catch it and your breathing picked up. You tried to squash the thought from taking over but ended up failing and the image morphed to him wrapping his long fingers around your wrists and pinning them above your head.

You shook your head, trying to rid yourself of the picture. It wouldn’t be productive to think of him that way. Plus, you’d just talked about how objectification wasn’t morally right.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked.

“Nothing,” you said, a little too quickly and defensively. He smiled out of the corner of his mouth.

“It was my dick, wasn’t it?” He said it flatly, as if he’d already caught you in the act.

“Was not,” you said, though he was on the right track.

“That’s so rude, lusting after me without my permission,” he teased. Sure, he was feigning offense, but his voice was just a bit lower now. He crossed his arms over his chest. “Don’t you know that’s a sin?”

“Okay, I’m hanging up,” you threatened, reaching for your phone.

“Wait!” he rushed. “Don’t go.”

You lingered, waiting to see what he would come up with to convince you to stay.

“I was just kidding,” he said. “Besides, you already have my permission.”

“I don’t…,” you began, about to deny having pictured him like that, but thought better of it. Noah would have seen right through you. “When did you give me permission?” you asked. You thought you would have remembered a conversation like that.

He rolled his head down to look at you from under his eyebrows, unamused. “It was implied.”

“At what point was it implied?” you asked, brows crinkling together.

Noah rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically to emphasize his exasperation. “You know, you’re really going to have to learn how to pick up on subtle hints one of these days and stop making everyone spell it out for you.”

“Or you could just be direct with what you mean.” You’d meant it as an off-hand remark, but when you looked at Noah, you realized it’d hit home with him.

He opened his mouth, starting to say something but then shut it again, pursing his lips and humming.

“Nobody’s ever asked me to do that.”

“To be direct?” you said, leaning forward to rest your elbows on your knees. You found it hard to believe.

“Yeah,” he said. You searched his face to see if there was any hint as to what he was thinking. You found none.

“So does everyone else just? What?” you said. “Try to read your mind?”

“Honestly? Yeah, kind of. More or less,” he said with a shrug, and you had to scoot back on your bed to process. Did people truly pay that much attention to him? Hyperfocusing on his body language and trying to infer what he was thinking and feeling?

“Doesn’t that get confusing?” you asked. “I feel like it could lead to a lot of mixed signals.”

He tilted his head from side to side, stretching his neck and you heard the crackling sound emanating from the joints. The deep crunch sent shivers down your spine.

“Yeah,” he said, lifting his shoulders and dropping them a couple times to shake out any tension. Finally, he stilled and looked back at the camera, placing an elbow on his desk and resting his chin in his palm. “But it’s scary to be direct with what you want, don’t you think?”

“I suppose,” you said, thinking back to your interactions with Isaac and Noah. You hadn’t been direct with either of them, so you could understand where he was coming from. It was intimidating.

But something told you that if you wanted to get anywhere, you had to start asking for what you wanted. And demanding the same of others.

You asked him first.

“What do you want, Noah?”

His eyes flicked down to his desk, then back up to you. He held eye contact, brows narrowing, breathing deeply in and out and sucking on the inside of his cheek while he considered the question. Finally he sighed.

“Are you sure you want the truth?” he asked, voice taking on a new, unfamiliar tone—one that rumbled in his chest and hinted at what was to come.

“Go ahead.”

He cocked his head to the side. “Right now, what I really want is to know if you’ve thought about me.”

You inhaled a shuddering breath, core pulsing around nothing and skin flushing.

You had asked the question, but you weren’t ready for him to be that direct. You’d expected him to do what he normally did and beat around the bush, hiding his true intentions behind humor and teasing. You didn’t think he’d actually put it out there in the open.

“In what context?” you asked, just to be sure. And maybe also to bide some time.

His eyes, which had been resting lower on the screen, flicked up to the camera. “Don’t play coy. You know what context.” His voice was low and commanding, impatient with your feeble attempts to avoid answering.

“Right,” you said, nodding. You swallowed thickly. Noah had laid down his armor, showing unexpected vulnerability like you had asked. It was your turn.

“So do you?” he asked, brow raised.

You waited a few moments, stomach twisting uncomfortably while you gathered the courage to answer.

“Yes.”

“How often?” he asked, eyes growing darker.

You kept your breathing even as you answered. “A few times.”

More than a few. You’d been imagining him in various scenarios since your conversation on the altar steps all those weeks ago. His hands holding you down by your wrists or wrapped around your throat. His long fingers in your mouth. In other places….

“Did you touch yourself?” he asked.

You blinked, cheeks heating in both shame and desire. This was a big thing to ask you to admit, but deep down, a long-buried part of you wanted him to know. You were ready for him to know.

“Yes.”

“How?” he asked, never once breaking eye contact. His questions came at you rapidly, like he was trying to throw you off balance.

You shook your head, recognizing you’d reached a limit. “That’s private,” you said, and he nodded, sucking air through his teeth while he figured out which angle to approach from next.

“What do you want?” he asked.

Good question. “I haven’t figured that out yet,” you said, unmoving.

You were determined to continue the conversation, but it took all your focus to not shy away or lose your composure. Your heart beat rapidly, threatening to pound out of your chest.

You knew you were ready to let go of some of this religious guilt that has been holding you back. You were ready to start exploring your sexuality, and you wanted it to be with Noah, but there was that tiny part in the back of your head that whispered what if.

What if the church was right? What if I’m being led into temptation? What if I go to Hell?

“Do you want me?”

You shook your head, ridding yourself of the thoughts.

“Yes.” You answered firmly, and you had a feeling Noah already knew.

He tapped his fingers against his chin, pointer finger coming to rub at a dry flake of skin on his lower lip. Your eyes followed the movement, and he caught it.

“You’re asking what I want?” he clarified.

“Yes,” you said.

He licked his lips, letting his teeth drag against the bottom one as he released it slowly. Squaring his shoulders, he exhaled heavily through his nostrils.

“I want you to touch yourself.”

Your heart hammered against your ribcage.

“What? Like now?” you asked. The words came out choked, your throat dry.

He nodded. “And I want you to think of me while you do it.”

You paused, warmth pooling between your legs. You pressed your thighs together to relieve some of the pressure. His eyes flicked down to them, and you noticed just how exposed you suddenly felt.

“One sec,” you said and heaved yourself off your bed and repositioned yourself at your desk, mirroring Noah’s posture. He frowned briefly when he realized he could no longer see all of you.

“What do you think about” he asked again, “when you think about me?”

You were delving into new territory. You’d never confessed anything like this to anyone before, and the thought of opening up like this both thrilled and terrified you. But you couldn’t deny the affect his questions had on you.

“Your fingers,” you said.

The finger that had been rubbing at his lower lip paused. His eyes dropped down to it, and then back to the screen. His finger resumed, and you knew he was doing it on purpose.

“Where?” he asked. His eyes were darker, voice gruffer. He held an intensity you’d only seen once back at his studio, right before he’d tried to kiss you.

“In my mouth,” you said. Truthfully, you wanted his fingers in many places. In you. On you. Around you, but the sight of his index finger running across his lower lip captivated you and all you wanted was to wrap your lips around it.

It might have been subconscious, the way his tongue briefly flicked over the pad of his finger. Then again, he may have been teasing you on purpose. He replaced his index finger with his thumb, dragging his lower lip down so you could see the bottom row of his teeth and you had to swallow the excess saliva that had pooled on your tongue.

“If I was there, you’d have them wherever you wanted,” he said, and flames erupted between your thighs. An itch that demanded to be scratched. Tension that pleaded to be soothed. Without meaning to, your hand traveled below your desk to apply pressure to the throbbing area.

“Are you doing it?” he asked, pulling at the skin of his lower lip.

You didn’t have to ask what he was referring to.

“Yeah.”

The thumb that had been tugging at his lower lip released. His lip sprang back into place as his eyes widened. “Can I see?”

You shook your head. “Not yet.”

“Why not?” he asked. He stared at the screen, mouth slightly open and teeth pressing into the corner of his bottom lip. You desperately wanted to taste him.

“It’s private,” you said, and he pouted, bobbing his head up and down in a sign of begrudging understanding.

“I suppose I’ll allow that.”

“Oh you’ll allow it?” you said, eyebrows lifting. You liked that he acted entitled to you. Something about it made it just a little bit harder for you to breathe, but he couldn’t know that. His ego would run away with the knowledge.

“I’ll allow it,” he repeated low, devilish grin on his face, and oh you liked that. As much as you pretended to be annoyed, you needed him to possess you.

You noticed his shoulder shifting on the screen. “Are you?”

He nodded. “For a while now,” he answered.

“Since when?”

“How long has this call been going on?” he asked. “About that long.”

You barked out a laugh, amused but not surprised, considering how much he’d talked about his dick already. You watched his shoulder moving, imagining what was going on just below the end of your screen.

“Have you ever thought of me while touching yourself?” you asked.

“What do you think?” He said it as if the question itself had been an insult to his libido.

Your insides rolled and swelled with pride. The hunger for him evolved into something more ravenous, and you pressed harder into yourself with your fingers, stroking yourself over the soft cotton of your shorts. A small whimper left you and you hoped he couldn’t hear it.

“What do you think about?” you asked.

“Hmmm,” he sighed, and you thought it was probably the most attractive sound you’d ever heard. You wanted to pull that sound out of him again. “Should I tell you? Would it be too much for your virgin ears?”

You waited for him to be done teasing. When he realized you weren’t going to react, he relented.

“Ever since you mentioned you thought about being tied up, I’ve been thinking about that.”

“Yeah?” you asked, fingers picking up pace to match the shifting of his shoulder. You wanted him to tie you up. You wanted him to want to tie you up.

“Yeah,” he breathed. His words came out differently. Not his normal voice, but something breathier and more needy. “I’d tie you down so you couldn’t move. Force your legs apart and bury my face in your pussy.”

Shit. You gasped softly, cheeks burning under his gaze. The friction over the clothes wasn’t enough anymore and you had to dip your hands under your waistband, closing your eyes and melting into the sensation.

“Are you picturing it,” he asked.

“Yes,” you breathed.

“Good. Imagine it’s me touching you.”

You did exactly that, pulling your lip between your teeth and biting hard on it to give yourself something to fixate on. You could feel Noah’s eyes boring into you through the screen and you couldn’t look at him, too ashamed of your own desires.

Noah didn’t allow that for long though.

“Open your eyes,” he commanded. “Look at me while you fuck yourself.”

Jesus. Your cheeks seared with the vulgarity of his commands, but you did your best to hold eye contact. His eyes were dark, irises blown wide with lust and jaw set hard in determination.

His right shoulder tensed and shook with vigor and you’d have given anything to see what was happening under the desk.

“What are you thinking about?” you asked, finally giving in and massaging your aching breasts with the hand that wasn’t currently inside you.

This, you allowed Noah to witness.

“Thinking about those tits in my mouth,” he said, voice low and gravelly.

Your chest heated with the thought of it, breath coming out in pants. “Wish you could do that right now.”

“There’s a lot I wish I could do right now.” The words were strained. Whiny. Needy, even and you needed to hear him make those sounds again.

“Tell me,” you whimpered. “Please?” Your back arched off the chair and your eyes closed on their own accord.

“Not unless you keep looking at me.” Your eyes snapped open. He stared at you intently, almost angrily in his efforts. “Keep those fucking eyes on me,” he ordered through gritted teeth.

Hearing Noah speak to you like that was a new experience. He’d never taken that tone with you before and you couldn’t deny what it did to you. You grew wetter around your fingers, pace growing sloppy.

“Need to see your tits.”

You whined, wanting him to continue dictating his fantasies, but Noah wouldn’t budge.

Slowly, you lifted your shirt high enough to uncover your breasts, tucking the hem between your teeth to keep it in place, but you kept your hand over your nipples to block his view.

“Move the hand,” he commanded through gritted teeth. The veins in his neck began to pop.

“Not until you tell me more,” you mumbled past the fabric.

Noah worked his jaw muscle while he stared down at your bare breasts, left shoulder tensed with how hard he was working himself.

“Well right now, you’re cocky, so I wish I could wrap my hands around that throat until you drop the attitude.”

You flushed even more at his admission, but you weren’t going to give him the satisfaction of knowing how much he affected you. You bit harder into the hem of your shirt, smiling past the fabric. “Fat chance.”

He inhaled deeply through his nose, a muscle in his temple throbbing. You liked this—making him angry. Testing his patience. You wanted to see how he’d react if you pushed him more.

“Watch your mouth,” he said.

“Or what?”

“Oh, so that’s how it’s gonna be?” he said, struggling to keep his voice even. “I had a feeling you were a brat.” You grinned, feeling seen. “Talk all you want, but you won’t be so cocky when I have you in person.”

God , you wanted that. You wanted him there, in person. On top of you. Inside you. You wanted his mouth on yours, all tongue and teeth and desire.

“You think so?”

“Oh, I know so.” His voice came out more strained than ever.

“Yeah? What would you do?”

“Smack your ass, for one.”

“Oh?” You taunted. “Daddy gonna give me a spanking?”

Noah’s movements faltered and you worried you pushed him too far in your teasing. He looked at you, mouth opening and closing a few times, and you were about to apologize. Then he resumed his movements at nearly double his previous pace.

“You can’t just say shit like that,” he said, breaking character into something much more genuinely Noah . The sound of skin slapping against skin echoed from beneath his desk.

“What’d I do?” you asked, hand speeding up to match his movements.

“You know what you did.”

Your mouth fell open. Your shirt fell, bunching over your collarbone. “Daddy? That’s what does it for you?”

“That,” he said, “among other things. Uncover your nipples.”

You did as you were told, allowing your breasts to fall naturally. You rocked your hips into your hands and Noah watched your tits bounce with the movement, tongue darting out to wet his lower lip.

“Are you serious?” you said.

“Don’t kink shame me.”

You curled your lip into a smirk, a deep need to test his patience again settling over you.

“Why not… Daddy? Something wrong, Daddy? ” you teased, softening your voice and pitching it up to feign innocence. “Please tell me. I wanna be a good girl for you.”

You could see a vein popping in Noah’s forehead. His face had grown an angry shade of red. “I know you’re trying to be a bitch right now,” he muttered through gritted teeth, “but this is actually working. Keep going.”

You pouted. “Well now I don’t wanna.”

Another lie. You did want to, but you didn’t want to give in to him.

Noah sighed and then chuckled. “I really fuckin’ hate you sometimes, do you know that?”

You laughed, warmth spreading through your belly. Somehow his vitriol sent you further towards your end. “Good.”

He made a gruff noise and grinned like the devil.

You were about to respond, but your body chose that moment to betray you and instead offered up a whimper.

“Noah, I think I’m close.”

He groaned. “Can you hold out a little longer? I’m almost there.”

“Hurry,” you whined, screwing your eyes shut tight.

“Oh no,” he growled. “You look at me when you come.”

Forcefully, you wrenched your eyes open, staring at him in want. He looked at you like a man starved, as if he could devour your entire body in one go.

Your fingers squelched loudly inside you, and you were sure Noah could hear, but he continued to look at you, unblinking as he watched your face heat up with impending climax.

“Fuck, I’m close,” he muttered. You keened, rubbing fast circles into your clit with one hand and pumping your others inside yourself, picturing him touching you. Thinking about just how deep inside you he could get with those long, beautiful fingers.

“Shit, shit, shit,” he hissed, brows pinching together and jaw set tight. “Ready?”

You nodded, feeling your body hurling towards its climax.

“Come,” he commanded.

Your entire body tensed, tightened, and then pulsed, releasing waves of vibrations radiating out from your center. You let out a pathetic whimper, fighting against every fiber in your being to not close your eyes.

Noah’s mouth dropped open. His body spasmed, pitching forward against his desk, vein in his temple throbbing and nostrils flaring. He let out a breathy whine and gritted his teeth, sucking air in through them.

“Fuck!” he spat, body tense and rigid. And then he collapsed backward into the chair.

Noah laid there, panting on the other side of the screen, mouth open, staring at you. He finally broke eye contact to drop his head back and close his eyes while he waited to catch his breath. His lips pressed together and his adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed the excess saliva that had collected in his mouth.

“Good job,” he muttered to the air above him.

“Thank you,” you whispered, still coming down from your own high. And you meant it. That was the first time you’d reached orgasm without being overcome or interrupted by guilt.

“Don’t mention it.”

You felt no guilt now. Only gratitude. It fell from your lips in a stream of thankyous, and when you finally took your eyes off the camera, tears began to leak out. Not in the way they had done in the past, when you were overcome with anxiety and shame.

These were tears of joy. You’d managed to show up for your body, and it was grateful to you.

After several moments of basking in afterglow, you looked back over to the screen. Noah was in a catatonic state. His chest rose and fell with his breaths, but his eyes remained closed and he kept silent.

“How you doing over there?” you asked and he brought a finger up to his mouth to shush you.

“Give me a second.”

You smiled, pulling your shirt back down over your chest and shaking out the cramp in your hand. You took your phone back in your hands, unscrewing the cap to the water bottle it had been propped up against and drank deeply.

“Should I leave you to it, then?” you asked.

“Thank you for that,” he whispered. “I needed it.”

“Same here,” you said, settling back down into the bed and stretching out. “I feel like I could fall asleep right now.”

“Should I let you?” he asked, eyes still closed.

“You could sing me to sleep,” you suggested.

“That’s third date shit,” he said, swallowing thickly once again.

“Suit yourself,” you said with a shrug. “That was nice. I’d like to do it again sometime.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “Yeah.”

Recognizing he was in no state to make conversation anymore, you made the executive decision to end the call.

“I’m gonna hit the hay,” you said. “Talk to you later?”

“Yeah,” he said for the third time in a row. “Sounds good. Sleep tight. And thanks for that.”

You chuckled lowly, watching the gentle rise and fall of his chest. The sharp angle of his nose as he breathed. The flutter of his eyelashes against his cheekbone. The furrow in his brow. You allowed yourself a few uninterrupted moments to indulge in the sheer beauty that was Noah in this state.

“Goodnight,” you said.

“Goodnight,” he whispered.

You ended the call, the vision of his fucked-out face burned into your retinas. It was the only thing you thought of as you drifted off to sleep. Click to be added to the Taglist

@reyadawn @sundamariis @noahsebastions @cyber-tiny @livingdeceasedgirl @just-randomm-stuff @xxkittenkissesxx @treacheryinblue @flowerynerds @1toreyouapart @badomensls @rain-down-on-me @iluvmewwwww75 @poisongirl616 @gravitysembrace @spookychaosstranger

#noah sebastian x reader #bad omens fanfiction #noah sebastian fic #noah sebastian smut #noah sebastian #bad omens fic #bad omens

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wingsofimagery · 1 year ago

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Face

✴ Summary: Seonghwa was in his dark times again. Thoughts that should not cloud his judgment roamed rampantly in his mind. A horrible mind game that only could be cured by your reassurance. ✴ Characters: Seonghwa x Reader ✴ Genre: Angst w/ Comfort ✴ Rating/Warnings: General/SFW ✴ Word Count: 758 ✴ A/N: I'm a constant liar but I did start writing that TA!Sehyoon. Just needed this one out before this account goes dead again. Writing long stories really isn't my forte...

Mingi had informed you of how Seonghwa’s mood has been drastically low lately. You decided it was high time to get him out of his slump. According to your books, one can only be left to their demise for so long. You knocked on the door softly to announce your entry to him. Silence greeted you, but you saw his hunched-up back.

“Seonghwa,” you called out to him with a reserved gentleness.

You got no response, so you tried again, only to get an acknowledging grunt from him. You sighed with resignation and plopped yourself down on the bed. He remained resilient, not letting you see him as he tilted his body away from your direction.

“Park Seonghwa, tell me what’s wrong,” you pleaded.

You wrapped your hand around his wrist and tugged on it in futile. You were beginning to feel frustrated. You only wanted to comfort Seonghwa in the same way he does for you. What is a relationship without mutual giving and taking?

“Look away,” he finally whined.

“What?”

“Look away,” he repeated, “I don’t want you to see how ugly I am.”

Your heart broke in an instant.

“What are you on about? Who called you ugly?” “I did.”

You crossed your arms over your chest.

“And why is that?”

He was quiet again.

“Look at me, my star.”

He finally removed his hands from his face, turning to face you. You brushed his hair out of the way, then knelt on the bed to hug his head to your chest. “No one is allowed to say mean things about the love of my life, not even the person himself.”

“I’m only speaking the truth,” he muttered against your chest.

You pulled him away and cupped his cheeks. Your eyes stared dead straight into his, causing a shiver to run down his spine. He could see the passion in your eyes.

“Have you ever heard of the saying: the current face you have is the face of the person you loved most in your past life?”

“But this is my first life,” he replied with a pout on his lips.

You heaved a sigh.

“Okay, so when I reincarnate, I’ll be born with your face. Does that mean I am unattractive?”

He rapidly shook his head in denial.

“You’re anything but. You’re beautiful inside out; you can make my face work on you, my love. You’d look good with any face.” You sighed, resting your forehead against his. " But that’s how I feel about you. You’re so ethereal inside and out. You don’t realize it, but I’m here to remind you just how truly amazing you are. The way you see me is the same exact way I see you. The higher being in charge of creating you sure took their sweet time to make you perfect because it’s unfair you are the way you are.”

He chuckled sadly, his eyes downcast to avoid your loving gaze. The confident persona was nowhere to be found, clouded by murky clouds of doubt. The shine was completely blocked out by a curtain of unease. Your lips pursed in response. His sadness flowed and struck deeply into your heart. Nevertheless, you refused to give up on him.

“Although the rain likes to ruin your peace, I, the sun, will always peek out to shine on you. What I’m trying to say is… Park Seonghwa, you are an angel. You have wings, but I think you shrunk them a little too much because you can’t even see them yourself anymore.”

You knew he wanted to refute you, but he resigned his argument upon seeing the sparkles in your eyes. You were determined to show him his worth, so the least he could do was wholeheartedly accept your feelings and make them his own.

You affectionately pecked his nose, to which he chased after you fruitlessly for a kiss on the lips. You laughed breathlessly at his desperation. A thumb reached up to graze against his lips before you leaned in to kiss him. You poured your love into the kiss, hoping he could feel even a portion of your ever-flowing adoration for him.

Once you pulled away, you tapped his nose with your index.

“I love you to infinity and beyond; remember that, Park Seonghwa,” you declared.

Seonghwa smiled and nodded, “I truly, deeply love you.”

You giggled because while you made a Toys Story reference, he went and made his own Star Wars reference. Two loving dorks just sitting there basking in their affection for one another.

#cromernet #k-labels #kvanity #kpopccc #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #seonghwa scenarios #seonghwa imagines #ateez x reader #seonghwa x reader

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cleovee · 1 year ago

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+　๋࣭ ✴︎ 🍓 & 🚬 | Oikawa Tooru x reader

Summary: Dating the captain of Aoba Johsai's volleyball team who has many female fans. Ran away from his practice cause of jealousy, where he finds your bad habit and comforts you.

Tags: Oikawa x fem!reader, hurt-comfort

Warnings: Vaping!reader, oikawa being redflag(?), messy relationships, grammatical mistakes probably

It’s been almost seven months since you started dating Oikawa Tooru, the handsome, always cheerful, and energetic captain of Aoba Johsai's volleyball team. Oikawa is constantly surrounded by people, especially female fans captivated by his charm. You often see him being overly friendly with them, chatting and laughing non-stop. Although Oikawa always assures you that he’s just being polite and there’s nothing to worry about, you can’t help but feel jealous.

Today was a usual day, you accompanied Oikawa to his volleyball practice for the upcoming competition. Instead of greeting you sitting in the stands, he went over to chat with the girls there.

"Oikawa-san, I brought you a drink." said one pretty brunette, offering him a bottle of water.

Oikawa accepted it with his usual sweet smile. "Thanks a lot.” he said before returning to his practice.

You sighed in resignation at the familiar scene, "Hh, nothing new." Frustrated and bored, you left the gym to get some fresh air.

You went behind the building and sat on one of the benches, fishing out your strawberry-flavored vape from your blazer pocket. The smoke mingled with the surrounding air as you gazed blankly at the sky. You had no idea how much time had passed just sitting there in a daze.

Before you knew it, the bright blue sky had turned into an evening hue. The evening sky in Miyagi always had a mesmerizing feel, blending with the bustle of students heading home.

You pulled out your phone and opened Instagram, shocked to see Oikawa’s story, smiling with another girl. “Good luck, the fuck?” you muttered angrily, glaring at your phone with smoke still swirling from your lips. There’s an urge to just smash your phone and throw it away.

Meanwhile, inside the gym. “Iwaaa-chan, have you seen Y/N?” Oikawa asked Iwaizumi, who was mopping the court. Iwaizumi paused, thinking. “Y/N? I think she went out.” he replied, resuming his work. Oikawa nodded and quickly left the gym to search for you.

Oikawa looked around the gym because he knew you wouldn't go far or even head home without him. The strong scent of strawberries hit his nose, and he knew it was your distinctive smell. He hurried towards the source of the scent.

You had just exhaled a cloud of vape smoke when you heard footsteps approaching. Turning to the sound, your eyes met Oikawa's, and you nearly dropped your vape in shock.

“Y/N…?” he called out, seemingly the first to catch you vaping like this. You stared back blankly.

“Why are you here?” you asked, pretending not to care though you wanted to hurl the bench at his fucking face.

Oikawa stepped closer, standing in front of you. “I should be the one who asking you that. Why are you doing this?” He took the vape from your hand, his sharp eyes filled with meaning.

You stood up from the old bench, facing him. “Oikawa, don’t be nosy. Give it back.” you ordered softly.

Oikawa’s expression was a mix of anger and disappointment, clearly unhappy with what he was seeing. “Nosy? I’m your boyfriend and don’t call me Oikawa.” he stated firmly but without judgment.

You scoffed bitterly, “Boyfriend your ass, Tooru. Do you think it doesn’t hurt seeing you with other girls? You never introduce me as your girlfriend to those girls even you said i was your bestfriend to your teammates,”

Oikawa stepped closer, and instinctively, you backed away until you were cornered against the wall. “How can I believe in love when every time I see you, you’re with someone else? I feel like I’m not even part of your life.” you continued, your voice sharp.

“Hey, I never meant to make you feel that way. I just. I don’t know how to explain it. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.” he replied, guilt evident in his voice. He tossed your vape into a nearby trash can and held both your hands.

Your eyes met, and you fell into the depths of his beautiful gaze. “You can talk to me if you need to, so tell me why you started to do this.” he gently urged, lifting your chin so your eyes locked again.

You looked down at your shoes, struggling to find the right words. “I just… i’m feelin so tired lately and i need something that makes me feel better.” You tried to explain, but no answer seemed right. Vaping felt like a way to relieve your stress and jealousy, but deep down, you knew it was just a temporary escape.

Oikawa sighed, softly touching your chin to lift it again. “Y/N I care about you. Don’t hurt yourself with this, you know it’s bad for you, right?” he said, his voice tender and filled with concern.

You nodded slightly at his words. Oikawa smiled, moving his face closer to yours. “There are other ways to feel better, you know.” Your heart raced at his words. “Like what?” you asked, imagining how red your face must be.

A thin smile formed on Oikawa’s lips. He leaned in, pressing a gentle, lingering kiss on your lips. You were stunned, feeling as if you were floating. The kiss was sweet, like strawberries, and warm, making your soul feel more alive than ever before.

As he pulled back, you stared into his eyes, trying to process the emotions swirling within you. Oikawa’s goofy grin made you chuckle despite yourself. “See? Better already.” he said, his voice lightening the mood.

You sighed, the tension slowly melting away. “You’re impossible, you know that?” Oikawa laughed, a sound that felt like sunshine breaking through the clouds.

“And yet, you still put up with me.” He sat down on the bench beside you, pulling you into a warm embrace.

“Let’s make a deal. If you ever feel like this again, talk to me first. No more hiding behind vapes or running away, okay?”

You nodded, feeling the sincerity in his words. “Okay, I promise.”

For the next hour, you and Oikawa stayed on that bench, talking about everything and nothing. He shared funny stories from practice, making exaggerated faces and gestures that had you laughing uncontrollably. It was in these moments that you remembered why you fell for him in the first place – his ability to make you feel seen, heard, and cherished.

As the sky darkened and the stars began to twinkle, Oikawa stood up, offering a hand to help you up. “Come on, let’s head home. We’ve got another day tomorrow.”

You took his hand, feeling a renewed sense of closeness. Walking back to the gym to gather your things, Oikawa kept up a steady stream of chatter, his voice a comforting background to your thoughts. You realized that while he might be surrounded by admirers, it was you he came home to, you he searched for, and you he kissed under the evening sky.

The next day at practice, things felt different. Oikawa still charmed everyone around him, but he made a point to acknowledge you, even introducing you to his teammates and his fans as his girlfriend. The jealous pangs that once gnawed at you began to fade, replaced by a growing confidence in your relationship.

And when the competition day finally arrived, you were there, cheering louder than anyone. Oikawa looked up at you in the stands, a mischievous wink and a cheerful smile on his face that made your heart flutter. You knew, no matter how many people surrounded him, your place was always by his side.

#oikawa tooru #oikawa x reader #oikawa fluff #oikawa smau #oikawa x you #oikawa smut #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #Spotify

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tragedybunny · 1 year ago

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Slow Dancing In a Burning Room - Chapter 1

༺Summary༻

In a moment of weakness, Serafina helped Astarion ascend, forever altering him and their relationship. Irrevocably bonded in violence, can she survive life at his side, or will she be broken by the cycle of pain and terror.

༺Pairing༻ Astarion x Serafina (Female Tav)

༺Warnings༻ Dubcon / Noncon elements (mild this chapter), violence, toxic / abusive relationships

༺Word Count༻ 2128

༺A/N༻This will be a bit of a darker take on Ascended Astarion and the relationship with his Consort, and a bit of an AU for how I normally portray him and Serafina's relationship. As such I am not tagging anyone unless specifically requested for this fic. Additionally I would like to note this is my take on Ascended Astarion, or maybe one of my takes on him, but I will not say it is some definitive take and does not invalidate anyone else's headcanon or ideas about the character. Thanks to @leomonae for betaing this chapter.

꧁༺Chapter 1 - The Ascendant Vampire Lord ༻꧂

“Isn’t that what you want, to be mine forever?” the man that still bore Astarion’s appearance, but seemed less like him every passing moment, asked.

A great, black pit opened in Serafina’s heart at his words. Never once had she indicated that she wished to be his spawn - or Consort, as he was so deviously calling it. “No, Astarion, that’s not what I want at all.”

None of this was what she wanted. The ritual had promised him freedom, and in a moment of weakness, with his tormentor there on his knees, she’d agreed. The thousands of spawn couldn’t be loosed upon the world, and this way Astarion would be safe. Maybe it was the exhaustion and fear that had worn down her senses, maybe it was her foolish heart, so blindly in love, but something had clouded her judgment in that moment. And now nothing felt right; there was something different behind those crimson eyes she’d thought she knew so well. Or maybe she hadn’t; maybe this was him all along. There was something cruel and hungry, lurking, waiting, and when he stared at her too long, it made her shiver. And all those souls…

“Ah, pity. You deserve to be beautiful forever, my love.” Then those eyes softened and it was the Astarion she knew looking at her. Smiling warmly, he wrapped her in his arms, and kissed her forehead. “But whatever makes my darling happy.”

Burying her face in his chest, she could feel his hands softly rubbing her back. Was it possible she’d been imagining all that darkness? After almost a full day without sleep, and the trauma of the battle with Cazador and the ritual, she was no longer sure of anything.

Just thinking about it made her yawn unconsciously. “Is my little love sleepy,” he cooed in her ear, hands running through her hair, just like all the nights they’d shared a bed and he’d cuddled close to her.

It was her own guilt, that was all. The guilt for those lives that had been taken in the ritual. This was still Astarion; her exhausted mind was just playing tricks on her. “Mmm, yeah, I can hardly stand.”

She gasped as her legs were swept out from under her and Astarion held her to his chest. “Private room, a little time for just the two if us before you sleep?” he asked in a sultry whisper, his offer clear.

Suddenly much more awake, looking up, she caught his gaze again, wondering at the sudden desire. “You’re sure?”

“Don’t be…” His response was almost snappish, but he caught himself. “Of course I am. I love you.”

Three little words, everyone’s favorite. Was he sincere? But why wouldn’t he be, after everything? Gods, she really was too tired. “I love you too, Astarion.”

“Always?” It sounded like a plea: like the man who told her that he’d deceived her into loving him, but that he wanted it to be real.

“Always, my Starry Sky,” She kissed the hollow of his throat softly, content to accept his words, and let him carry her away to the room at the Elfsong set apart from the shared common area.

The room was full of soft candlelight and the bed was freshly made, the scent of clean linen mixed with Astarion’s own blend of bergamot, rosemary, and brandy. It felt vibrant, alive, and welcoming. He gently laid her down amongst the pillows. “Let's get you comfortable,” Astarion purred, pulling her boots off.

Sera shifted, pushing up on her elbows as her boots were discarded, her exhausted brain trying to fend off the last of the drowsiness. Something cold slithered into her stomach as Astarion began to strip off his shirt, baring himself to the waist. No, they were celebrating, this was their victory. There was nothing wrong with it.

“Like what you see?” he smirked, the picture of that roguish charm she'd fallen for.

A hesitant smile answered him. This was what she wanted, Astarion happy and the two of them free to be in love. “Is there any doubt, my love?” He was too far away though. “Come to me, I want to touch you.” That would put things right, having him in her arms.

“Soon, my treasure.” He was already tugging on the laces of his trousers. The way he was rid of them and his boots was too precise: methodical, not passionate.

Sitting fully, she pushed back against those thoughts. They were finding themselves again. For a moment, she drank him in, in all his impossible beauty, as though hand-sculpted by some god. “Astarion.” The word was a plea: for him to touch her, to show her those doubts were unfounded.

With feline grace he came to her, kneeling beside her on the bed, his lips capturing hers before traversing down. “My sweet Serafina,” he murmured, lips burning hot against her skin as fangs teased her throat. Fingers that no longer held the cool of the grave brushed her skin as he tugged at her shirt. Shrugging out of it, she pulled him to her, hands wandering his ivory skin, the lines of his scars rigid against her palms. A reminder that he had paid the price for all of this years before the ritual. Didn’t he deserve the freedom it gave him?

“I love you, I want you,” she moaned as his tongue ran along the shell of her ear.

“Then you shall have me, my love.” Already his hands were working to free her from her pants, moving to them from her waist at such speed, she’d hardly noticed. He stripped them from her with demanding fervor.

Greedily, his eyes roamed her bared body. “My love, all mine,” he growled, shifting to kneel between her thighs, spreading her legs.

As he leaned down to kiss her again, the press of his cock against her already wet slit made her whimper and roll her hips against him. My love, the blood in her veins sang, echoing him; her whole body craving him and her heart trembling with love.

“Mine,” he whispered again, darkness slipping into his voice.

A shiver ran through her and her lips parted. Whatever words she might have said died on her tongue as his unyielding grip fixed on her wrists, pinning them above her head. A gasp was pulled from her as his cock pushed inside her, forcing her open for him.

The pain was momentary as slow thrusts of his hips let her accommodate his girth. And it was so good to feel him inside her, to be together in this way. Rolling her hips, she met his thrusts, even as her wrists remained pinned above her. Soft whimpers filled the air between them as he lavished soft kisses on her skin from her chest to her throat. They lingered on the spot he'd bitten last, marks all but faded.

Without warning, his fangs pierced her skin; Sera let out a yelp, but the sting faded into the haze of pleasure quickly. Blood pumped from her heart to his, nourishing the man she loved. “Astarion,” she breathed, feeling herself clench around him.

“Come for me, my pet.” Something was wrong again, his voice like ice, the hands that held her turned to iron. Gasping, her release came, but his fangs remained in her neck, drawing out a crimson tide.

“Astarion, stop.” Her voice had already grown quiet, the edges of her vision blackening. Panic weighed down her already struggling heart. He had no intention of stopping, did he? Weakly, she tried to fight the grip on her wrists that held her in place and robbed her of her ability to cast magic. Far away, she could hear something: a slow thudding, her heart beating out its last feeble pumps. Eyelids that were too heavy closed and the cold of the grave Astarion had escaped enveloped her.

“You’ll thank me later, little love,” the Vampire Ascendant said, with the voice of the man she loved.

There was nothing, just an endless sea of icy darkness. It was peaceful though: no tadpole, no warlock pact, no family to run from and haunt her memories…no Astarion and whatever the ritual had done to him. If this was eternity, she could embrace it and lay down her burdens.

It seemed that was too much to ask of the universe; awareness slowly came back to her. Limbs stiff and cold, not responding as they should, lungs that didn’t move of their own accord anymore, and a heart that barely beat. Flashes of images filled her mind, sensations and snippets of what had happened, Astarion on top of her, draining her life away, betraying her. Her dead heart ached and she hesitantly ran a tongue over her teeth, finding elongated canines sharp enough to prick. Maybe if she just kept her eyes closed, she could finish dying, and not face what had been done.

“I can sense you stirring, Serafina. Open your eyes, love. Let me welcome you to your new life.” It wasn’t a command that compelled her and yet, she found herself inclined to do as he asked. Another wound to add to the others tearing her apart. He was her murderer and master in the span of hours. And she, his spawn and consort.

Eyes opening, she found him sitting next to her, peacefully reading. “There you are,” Astarion’s smile was enough to bare his fangs as he greeted her. “How do you feel?”

Sera whimpered, eyes surprisingly wet for someone who was dead. “Why?”

Astarion’s book snapped shut violently and his crimson eyes turned hard. “Are you really going to be petulant and ungrateful? I did this for you. You weren’t ready to accept it yet, but now you’ll live forever, perfect and beautiful.” Wetness dotted her cheeks and his voice turned gentle again. “Shh, I’m sorry I was short with you.” Sliding closer, he wrapped an arm around her, coaxing her to lay her head on his shoulder. “I love you Sera. I had to do this, I couldn’t bear to ever be without you. Don’t you understand?”

She hadn’t been ready for everything that had happened since she was taken by the Nautiloid. All she had wanted was freedom, not to become everyone’s leader and pillar of support, not to fall so helplessly in love. One misstep had brought it all crashing down. The striving had tired her, and it was easier to nod her head, stifle her tears, and agree with him. Easier to believe him. That it was for love. “I wish you would’ve given me time to think.”

“Sera.” His voice caught in appropriate regret, “I’m sorry. I just did it, I didn’t think. We’ll be alright, won’t we?”

“We will,” she reassured him, taking his hand in hers. They were bound now anyway; looking back just meant more regrets.

Tilting her head up, he brought his lips delicately to hers, leaving a pleasant haze in her mind, so unlike the last, violent, touch of his that had ended her life. “That’s more like it, my sweet.” A sudden pain in her abdomen caused her to wince, and Astarion cup her cheek softly, rubbing a thumb along it comfortingly. “You poor thing, I bet you’re starving too. Once we get some blood in you, everything will be alright. Let’s go get changed and see to it.”

Astarion rose, offering her his hand and helping her up. Her legs trembled slightly and she fought to steady herself. Wrapping an arm around her waist, he chuckled softly. “At least you didn’t have to claw your way out of your grave.”

He let her lean on him all the way back to the common room, his touch making her feel safe, wanted, loved. Perhaps there was something to this new Astarion: a stronger man than before, more sure of himself. Not that he hadn’t made her feel those same things before, but there was more confidence in him now.

There was no mistaking what Astarion had done as their group gathered to plan their day. Her companions studied her, none of them remarking on the change for the moment. Finally, when their eyes seemed to harbor some unvoiced suspicion, Astarion whisked her away, explaining her need to be fed.

As she changed for the day, Shadowheart wandered over, some laundry of Sera’s that had been mixed into hers in her hand. Sera was about to thank her, when she leaned in and whispered swiftly, “I thought you didn’t want to do this?’

Swallowing thickly, Sera let her eyes wander to where Astarion was discussing something with Gale. “I changed my mind,” she lied. They wouldn’t understand; they were so ready to condemn him as a monster. “Astarion needs me.”

#bg3 #astarion #baldurs gate 3 #astarion x tav #astarion x original female character #baldurs gate 3 fanfic #my writing #my fanfic #bg3 tav #bg3 tav serafina #ascended astarion #slow dancing in a burning room

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attendsquoi · 7 months ago

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Thea's Quest ~ Ch. 6

Chapter 6: Bereft

Summary: Thea wakes up in the desert. She doesn’t know why she’s in the desert. She also doesn’t know anything that’s happened in the last six months.

Warnings: canon typical violence, memory loss?

Word Count: 3.1k

When Thea woke up, she was in the desert. This was particularly concerning because she had no recollection of going to the desert.

Immediately, she wondered if she was having a nightmare. It wasn’t a typical scene for her nightmares – they typically centered around monsters and friends dying and fights with Luke – but there was a first time for everything. If it was a nightmare, though, nothing was happening in it. She walked a few paces forward, finding herself on the top of a dune, nothing but sand as far as she could see.

It was off putting.

“Well I need to do something.” Thea said, muttering to herself.

She pulled her satchel around her waist.

Maybe I was on a quest? She wondered.

She pulled out her canteen and peered inside. There was a little water left, probably not enough for an Iris message back to camp. And she wanted to save the resource; she would need to be careful not to get too dehydrated. Even if she was going to send a message to camp, who would she call? Luke was off the table, so who? Grover? Chiron?

Putting her water bottle back into her bag, Thea examined the other things she brought with her. A minimal first aid kit, a few cubes of ambrosia, and a small bag of drachma. Typical quest materials, but also stuff she normally carried on her person.

Some movement out of the corner of her eye caught her attention. She instinctively crouched down at the top of the dune, angling her body to avoid being seen. Looking over the ledge Thea squinted her eyes, seeing a group of tanks come to a stop before firing a missile.

“What is going on?” She questioned aloud.

“Why don’t you tell me.” A voice replied.

Thea jumped, muscle memory engaging and pulling out her sword. She swiveled on her heel, coming face to face with — some kid?

“Who are you?” Thea asked, wary of fighting a mortal – not that her celestial bronze would do much damage anyway – but also unsure of his threat.

He was short – judging from other campers, Thea guessed he was probably in his tweens – but he was dressed in some sort of colorful suit with a cape and a mask over his eyes. He reminded Thea of some pictures she had seen years ago before she even left for camp.

“Wait, are you that hero guy’s sidekick? The Gotham one – I – is he called Batman?” Thea questioned, lowering her sword.

The kid’s eyes narrowed.

“Who are you?” He asked.

His suspicion made Thea defensive. She didn’t really know who this kid was or what was happening. For all she knew, he could be the reason she was in the desert in the first place.

“It doesn’t matter.” She said calmly, then snapped her fingers, using the Mist to cloud his judgment and accept her answer.

The boy blinked.

“What are you wearing?” He asked her. “Are you an Amazon?”

Thea looked down at her outfit, noticing for the first time that she was in full ceremonial armor. It was more than she would ever wear for capture the flag, and definitely more than most quests would warrant.

She looked up, realizing the kid was still staring at her expectantly.

“It’s armor.” She replied, curtly.

“Why?” he asked.

“I – I don’t remember.” Thea said

The boy’s eyes widened and he stepped closer to the girl.

“What’s the last thing you do remember?” He asked.

A memory of the Stoll brothers recruiting the Hermes cabin for pranks flashed across Thea’s mind.

“I’m not sure. Maybe the beginning of April.” She said.

The boy frowned.

“We’re both missing six months.” He said, examining his watch.

“What do you mean?” Thea asked, growing only more confused and concerned with the boy's curt responses.

“It’s September.” He told her gravely.

~~~

Realizing they’d both lost the same amount of memory, and given that neither of them were actively trying to attack each other, Thea and the kid decided to work together. He told her to call him Robin, they were in the country of Bialya, and that he had run into her while he was on the way back to some tracker he had no memory of placing.

“So you really don’t recognize me?” Robin broke the silence as Thea followed behind him.

“Not well. And I already tried asking you about what I thought – not that you answered me. Why? Should I?” She rambled.

Robin chuckled.

“You were right. I do work with Batman in Gotham City. I just wonder why you were so hesitant.” He said.

“What? Did you think I was going to ask for a signature? What an ego.” Thea teased, working carefully to avoid his question. Hero or not, she wasn’t about to expose Camp Half Blood to a mortal.

“I’ve been doing this for five years. It’s not an ego – it’s statistics. Most people, especially Americans, know who I am.” The boy defended.

“I’m not most people.” Thea said curtly.

Robin stopped. He turned around to face her.

“Why is that? Who are you?” He questioned seriously.

Thea’s gaze hardened.

“It doesn’t matter.” She said, snapping her fingers.

Robin’s eyes glazed over before he turned back around, continuing on as if nothing had happened.

By evening, the two had made their way to the tracker’s location. They approached when suddenly a group of soldiers rose from the ground in an ambush. They were all carrying guns and started yelling in a language Thea didn’t understand.

“Oh my gods!” Thea exclaimed, jumping out of the way.

She pulled out her dagger, taking a defensive stance.

“Heads up.” Robin said before throwing down a smoke bomb.

With their vision impaired, the soldiers paused and Thea finally had room to move. Sensing a man to her left, she swung around and knocked him out. Her hand to hand combat was good, but even with her and Robin, there were too many guys.

They opened fire, and as good as Thea’s combat skills were, they weren’t a great match against bullets. Suddenly a blur passed by her face, grabbing the weapons from their attackers. Thea and Robin got back to work, incapacitating who they could.

Suddenly, Thea felt the hairs on her arm raise up and she turned around just in time to see a soldier who had snuck up on her being raised into the sky. Above her, a green skinned girl appeared, hovering in the air. Out of the corner of her eyes, Thea saw one of the guards running away before his legs were caught and he fell to the ground. On the dune behind him stood a girl with a bow and arrow.

“KF!” Robin said in recognition once the fighting had stopped.

“Man it’s good to see a familiar face.” The new boy, some sort of speedster, responded.

Thea sheathed her dagger and moved to stand by the other girls.

“Hey, Rob. Memory loss?”

“Six months. Let’s hogtie these creeps and compare notes.”

~~~

The others introduced themselves as Kid Flash, Artemis, and M'gann – who explained that they had all been working together, and somehow they lost the memories.

“So we're a team?” Robin asked.

“Wait, but what am I doing here? I’m no hero. At least, not like you all.” Thea intervened.

“I don’t remember everything, but I know we work together. It’s the five of us and Superboy.” M'gann replied.

“Who?” Thea asked.

“This must be his.” Robin realized, handing her a piece of fabric.

“Yes. Did you see him?” M'gann asked.

Robin and Thea shook their heads.

“I think we did.” Artemis realized.

“Feral boy? Some teammate. He attacked us.” Kid Flash added.

“He didn't know who we are. I don't know who we are.” Artemis said.

“I remember Batman ordering radio silence. Our team must work for him.” Robin concluded.

“How do you know we don't work for my mentor?” Kid Flash argued, pointing to himself.

As he touched the symbol on his chest, his suit morphed from black into a bright yellow color.

“Whoa, this is so cool!” He said, continuing to switch the colors of the suit back and forth.

Artemis and Robin attempted to do the same, but neither of their suits changed. Thea glanced down at her armor, then looked back up. She met eyes with M'gann and shrugged.

“We look ridiculous.” Artemis said after a moment.

Kid Flash continued.

“Quit touching yourself.” Artemis complained.

She sighed at the unintentional innuendo.

“We need our memories back.” She insisted.

In a flash of light, Robin, Kid Flash, Artemis, and Thea were transported into some sort of glowing space, with shards showing images of memories floating above their heads.

“What in Hades?” Thea wondered aloud.

“I've brought you into my mind to share what I've remembered so far, but I need your help. Together, our broken memories can form a whole if you open your minds to mine.” M’gann said, appearing from a glowing white light.

“You wanna paw through our private thoughts?” Artemis asked sharply.

“I have no wish to intrude, but–” M’gann started.

“You need to hack our minds to grok what happened to us. Go.” Robin interrupted.

Thea was not quite as enthusiastic.

“My brain's all yours. Try not to let its brilliance overwhelm you.” Kid Flash said.

“Or underwhelm you. Hey, why isn't anyone ever just whelmed?” Robin asked.

M’gann turned to Artemis and Thea.

Thea didn’t think she had anything to hide, but she didn’t know how much she could trust these people. Whatever crazy lives they may have lived, no doubt hers was vastly different.

“Last six months only. And only what you need.” Artemis finally said.

“Agreed.” Thea said, glancing over at Artemis only to find her and Kid Flash holding hands.

Four glowing arms extended from M’gann, landing on each of their heads. There was a blinding white light, and then they were seeing their memories.

“The Watchtower detected an immense power surge in the Bialyan desert. Spectral analysis revealed elements non-terrestrial in origin. Find out what happened at that site. What landed there.” Thea saw Batman giving the mission assignment to the team back in the cave.

“Bialya is a rogue state ruled by Queen Bee and not a member of the league's U.N. Charter. All communications are subject to interception. Maintain radio silence at all times.” He continued. “You'll land in Qurac, on Bialya's border, two clicks from the hot zone.”

The scene changed and they were in the desert.

“All clear.” Robin said as the team got off the ship.

“The Bialyans control the site.” Artemis reported as she and Thea overlooked a tent surrounded by soldiers.

They were flashing between different memories, all blurring together. It was becoming hard to tell whose was whose as they worked together to see the bigger picture.

“Set up here.”

“We'll be up and running in no time.” Said Robin, typing away at the site monitor.

“Jackpot! This site's lousy with Zeta-Beam radiation.” Kid Flash said, looking over his shoulder.

“Detecting non-terrestrial trace elements from the tent.” Robin announced.

“I'll check it out in camouflage mode.” Miss Martian suggested.

“Good idea. Go. Be careful. And maintain telepathic contact.”

“I will, Aqualad.” M’gann replied.

The visions ended.

“Aqualad!” They all shouted.

“Where is he? What happened next?” Thea questioned.

“I don't know. That's the last thing I... We remember.” M’gann said.

“Uh, we landed 24 hours ago. If Kaldur's been wandering the desert that long, that's not good for a guy with gills.” Wally added.

“Now that I know to look for him… He's close! But he's not moving.” Robin said.

~~~

When they found Aqualad, he was lying on the ground, mumbling in Atlantean and unable to open his eyes. Thea knelt by his side, not sure about their physiologies, but having spent enough time in the Apollo cabin to pick up on basic first aid. She checked his pulse and felt his forehead.

“I can't restore his memories in this condition.” M’gann told them, leaning over Thea with a hand on the girl’s shoulder.

“He needs immediate rehydration. Call the bioship.” Robin said.

“It's out of range, but you can get him there fast.” She said to Wally.

“He's too heavy and I'm too low on fuel. Right now, I couldn't even carry her.” He told them, gesturing to Artemis.

“Hey!” The girl protested, hitting him in the arm.

“Why don’t you levitate him back?” Thea asked.

“I can't. I have to find Superboy.” M’gann said. “Six months ago, he didn't exist. He has no memories, just animal impulse. I'm the only one who can help him.” She explained.

“Superboy's indestructible. Just ask those tanks. It's Aqualad who needs your help. Like, now.” Wally objected.

M’gann clutched her head.

“No! Superboy's in pain.” She cried before flying away.

“M'gann, wait!” Artemis called.

“We still don't know what erased our memories! It could happen again!” Robin yelled.

Thea wanted to get up and scream at the girl, but then Aqualad mumbled and rolled around in her arms. Yelling at M’gann wouldn’t do any good. Thea could be mad later, right now she needed to figure out how to get her friend help. She thought back to her medical training.

“I have something that might be able to help, but it’s a risk.” She said, moving to rummage around in her satchel.

“What is it?” Robin asked as the girl pulled out a ziploc bag with small yellow cubes.

“Ambrosia.” The girl responded.

“The food of the gods, and a healing food for demigods. But it’s incredibly potent – we have to eat it in small doses – too much makes us feverish, and if a mortal were to eat it they would die. Kaldur is Atlantean, so it seems likely that it could work. But I don’t want to attempt it unless we’re absolutely desperate.” Thea explained.

Robin looked down in thought.

“I don’t think we’re there yet. But let’s keep it as a backup option. In the meantime, we might as well try to make a stretcher.” He said.

~~~

The group followed Robin as he navigated toward the bioship, taking turns carrying their makeshift stretcher with Aqualad lying on it. After a while, they heard trucks. Quickly they found a hiding space behind a rock.

Kaldur started mumbling in his sleep. Thea was panicked.

“Shh, Kaldur, quiet now.” Artemis said.

His babbling continued.

“Rest.” Thea said in Greek.

Thankfully, the man stopped speaking.

Thea could feel Robin’s eyes on her. She could tell he had questions, not that he’d be able to articulate them. She never would have used the mist on him earlier if she’d known who he was. Robin turned away to peek at the Bialyans over the rock. Thea felt guilty for not explaining, but she didn’t want to justify her actions or create suspicion.

“We can't risk a firefight with Aqualad KO'd like this.” Robin reported

“Ugh. It's not just him. I'm way out of juice.” Kid Flash said.

“And I'm almost out of arrows.” Artemis added.

“My sword won’t be much use against their guns.” Thea said, not looking up from Kaldur.

There was no response. Thea glanced behind her, and Robin was gone.

“I forgot how much I hate it when he does the ninja thing.” Kid Flash complained.

Kaldur shuddered. His breath was getting shakier. Thea took out her canteen and poured the remaining few drops of water into his mouth. Wally and Artemis started to quarrel behind her, but she closed her eyes and muttered a prayer to Apollo.

“So I'm your ninja boyfriend, huh?” Wally said as Thea finished her plea.

Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Hey, amnesia, remember? Completely forgot how truly annoying you are.” Artemis responded.

“Oh, like you're the goddess of congeniality.” He complained.

“Yeesh. Get a room.” Thea jumped as Robin appeared.

“Dude, where were you?” Wally asked.

“Breaking radio silence.” Robin replied smugly.

Thea heard beeping and faint laughter, before an explosion echoed around the space.

“That's our cue. Move!” Robin commanded as they hurried to pick up Aqualad and run away.

~~~

Too many miles later, the team – minus M’gann and Superboy – made it back to the bioship at the Quraci border. Thea and the others worked together to get Aqualad onto a cot and hook him up to an IV. Thea was monitoring his vitals while Artemis dabbed a damp rag on his forehead.

Hey, everybody! I’ve got Superboy! M’gann’s peppy voice rang out in their heads.

He’s back to normal and we’re on our way. She concluded.

Kaldur jumped up, suddenly awake.

“Who are you, and how did you get inside my head?” He asked.

Thea quickly moved over to push him back into a lying position.

Hello, Megan. Aqualad's memories! I knew I forgot something. M’gann said.

Oh, man, me too. I didn't get a souvenir from the mission. Wally whined.

Don't worry, got the souvenir thing covered. M’gann assured.

~~~

Thea changed clothes quickly after the mission. It was the middle of the week, so she was staying in the cave, but she had one more thing to do. The demigod walked into the mission room just as Artemis went through a zeta tube.

Oh no you don’t. The girl thought, jogging toward the portal and following her through.

Thea emerged in an alley. Artemis was only a few paces ahead of her, but she turned around, startled, when she heard the zeta tube announce her presence.

“Thea?” She asked, walking back toward the girl.

“We need to talk.” Theal responded.

“Why? What’s this about?” Artemis asked, annoyed but getting a little concerned.

“I know I was teasing, but looks like I was more right than I realized.” Thea said jokingly.

Artemis’ posture relaxed with Thea’s playful tone, and she rested a hand on her hip.

“What about?” She teased back.

“Full of it or not, you seemed pretty cozy with Wally back in the desert.” Thea said.

Artemis groaned, dragging her hand down her face.

“Not you too.” She complained, though Thea could see a hint of a sheepish smile.

Thea grinned. She hadn’t felt this comfortable with a friend in a long time.

“I’m just saying, I’m here if you ever want to talk.” Thea said with a smirk, but both girls knew she meant it.

“I appreciate it.” Artemis said with an eye roll.

“Well, that’s all.” Thea said.

It was true. She hadn’t expected Artemis to confess to anything, she just wanted to tease her a little bit.

“Oh, fuck off.” Artemis laughed, causing Thea to giggle.

“You know you love me.” The demigod said, walking back to the zeta tube.

“Whatever. I’ll see you later!” Artemis called fondly.

“After a while, crocodile!” She heard as Thea disappeared in a burst of light.

Both girls returned home with smiles on their faces.

#kaldur'ahm x oc #luke castellan x oc #percy jackson #percy jackson fanfiction #young justice #young justice fanfiction #kaldur'ahm #kaldur'ahm x reader #luke castellan #luke castellan x reader #artemis crock #wonder woman x child!reader #wonder woman #thea's quest #kaldur x oc #kaldur x reader

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laconicenigma · 1 year ago

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⁂ Bubba Sawyer x Male Reader

Hello!! ⍢ I’m new to Tumblr so I hope this is a sufficient first post… I love Leatherface!!

❀ ; Male reader, FtM, AMAB friendly! (He/Him) Reader is implied to be taller, possibly buffer/broader as well. He leans more towards traditionally masculine. He’s a smooth talker with a bit of Southern charm to fit the setting a little.

❀ ; Bubba Sawyer AMAB (She/He/They) Bubba may be bit out of character, I added in some of my own personal headcanons and such! A mix of their paranoid personality in the 1st movie as well as their affectionate side shown in the 2nd. Hope you like! ◡̈

⁂ Headcanons

It doesn’t take that much to swoon Bubba.

She succumbs so easily to a bit of flirting, as we can see from the 2nd movie. A bit of sweet talk with a sprinkle of pet names and suddenly she’s a big, squealing mess.

The whole Sawyer family is wildly eccentric, so you don’t have too much to worry about in regards to their acceptance. Sure, you’d most likely be a popular joke in the household but it’s nothing worse than what they give each other. Given the time of the film, the most you’d have to worry about would be the public’s opinion about you and your dangerous lover; but let’s just assume that they don’t get the chance to know about y’all.

On a similar note, your sex and gender don’t matter to Bubba all that much. He clearly has unique ways of expressing himself, and he knows it (because of all the teasing his brothers do). He wouldn’t find his feelings for a man to be weird or anything of the sort; though he’d still probably be surprised at the fact. Don’t worry your pretty little head though, Bubba is the furthest thing from judgmental.

The surprise would just be because they’ve always been more into femininity. Both in the way the dress themselves, to the people they’re attracted to— Bubba’s just always loved to indulge in more womanly things. But that doesn’t eliminate you from having a chance, not at all!

The second you sweet talk him with your smooth voice, he’s on the damn floor.

Bubba didn’t have to fortune of receiving affection while she grew up. She’s most likely been isolated from regular society her whole life, and we know damn well the Sawyer’s aren’t known for their loving nature. Take your hands and just gently graze her face a little, or tell her how sweet she is and how much you love her, she’s all yours.

Even just some basic manners will get you a long way with Bubba. They yearn for some sort of human interaction that isn’t clouded with blood and the hum of a chainsaw, don’t blame them! A ‘Thank you’ will keep them giddy for weeks on end.

Trying to shift to a more realistic perspective, though, you’d have to be one sweet son of a bitch to get the Sawyer’s to spare you.

We saw how Bubba eventually folded under the pressures of his families demands when it came to Stretch, even though he liked her quite a bit. If you even want to get close to the point of Bubba stepping in to protect you, you are gonna have to be the smoothest and most charming man he’s ever met (which isn’t very hard, but still). No trying to fight or escape like Stretch, though you’d probably meet Bubba on different circumstances anyways.

⁂ Scenario

‘Oh, god damn!’ Was the only thought that seemed to run through your head at the moment. Wrist pressed against your forehead and sweat dripping down your lips, an exasperated sigh fell from your dry mouth. It was moments like these that made you regret fixin’ up such an old girl to be your car; she could be a bit unreliable.

It’s not like it was the car’s fault, no, you should’ve known you were runnin’ out of fuel just from how long you’d been driving. But, damn, you really needed to fix up that faulty fuel gauge. Always having to be on edge when you traveled, since you didn’t know when your gas was going to run out. Shit, what was even wrong with it?

The sun was burning your skin, and you needed some sort of help. It was only you out here.

After wandering around the unfamiliar area for a long few minutes, a sense of relief completely washed over you when a large farmhouse came into view. The estate was beautiful, and you could only hope somebody in it would be willing to help you out. After walking through the long dirt driveway, you gently stepped onto the porch of the home. The old floorboards creaked under your weight, the peeling paint bringing a slight surprise to your face. The home sure looked occupied, though not very taken care of. You gently knocked against the white frame of the screen door.

“Hello? ‘S anyone home?” You tried to call through. If you looked closely enough, you could see into the interior of the home. For some odd reason, these people didn’t close their front door. That either meant that they were home, or they were just plain careless.

You called out once more, speaking to the walls of the home in hopes you’d elicit a response. “Hey, partner, I’m in a real bad place right now. I-If I could just get some help here, it would be much appreciated,” a chuckle carried through your speech, though you were only met with radio silence from the home. “My car’s broke down and, by god, it’s hot as hell today. If I could just get a glass of water, I’ll be in your debts forever,” you held your tongue after you spoke, desperate for any sign of life within the home. You were practically dyin’ out here!

You were about to make your ways away from the property when you heard some booming thuds from within the building. You leaned into the screen door, squinting as you tried to decipher the darkness of the place. You couldn’t make out much, though you were almost certain you could see a figure cautiously trying to make it down the stairs— almost like they didn’t want you to see them. The person looked— and sounded— huge, though. With the amount of area they were taking in the staircase, alongside their heavy and creaking steps— this person had to be big. Without a doubt. Even if you could only make out a silhouette.

Upon noticing the mystery person, a smile stretched across your handsome features and you began to wave at them through the screen. “Hey, partner! Am I glad to see you!” You exclaimed to them, though the figure stayed unmoving. You realized that you probably came off a little strong, so you attempted to backtrack in the case that they had just noticed you. You spoke again, this time much softer and sweeter, “My car broke down not to far from here. Real sorry about showin’ up on your property like this but I could really use some help. Anythin’ would be much appreciated,” You managed to coo through the screen, an inviting smile on your lips.

The figure seemed to be trying to process the situation, not moving towards or away from you, though you could see their head dart around frantically. Not a good sign. You attempted to calm them from afar, they were your only hope at salvation at the moment. “Hey, hey, hey, now… Don’t worry, I ain’t here for trouble, darlin’. I promise,” as the words left your throat, so soothing and calm, the figure laid their gaze directly onto you. You could feel it. “You don’t have’ta help me, sweetheart. I can leave you be right now— but I ain’t a threat.” To speak to soft and so loving was something of second nature to you, but it was currently, unknowingly, saving your ass right now. “I’d just really appreciate a hand, if you’d be willing to give,” your desperation was painfully obvious. That seemed to be the breaking point for the person— in a good sense.

They slowly made their way down the stairs, the wood moaning under their weight as they stepped. Once they came closer, you were able to slowly make out their features. Their clothes looked dirty and old, though mostly concealed by a bright yellow apron— and they were fucking huge. Tall and big, extremely fucking huge. Though you two battled heights pretty evenly, you’d still have to say you were pleasantly surprised about their stature. You’d never really met someone who stood head to head with you like this. However, it took everything within yourself not to cringe at the mask they sported. It looked so— so grotesquely real. Like nothing you’d ever seen, not even at a Halloween store.

Even though it was grossly off-putting, you made the decision to not point it out. Didn’t want to scare off your only help at the moment. One of their large hands timidly laid against the frame of the screen door and pushed it open. They softly squealed in a pig-like manner.

Once the door pushed open, you got a good look at this person in all their glory. They looked just as grimy and dirty as they were when they were shielded by the screen, though now you could make out more finite details— like their crooked teeth and hairy arms. They refused to make eye contact, their body tense and frightened. They definitely raised a few red flags in your mind, and you couldn’t say they were truly all that attractive— but you still found them cute, for some odd reason. You smiled at their compliance, despite it all. “Hey, darlin’, thank you for openin’ up for me,” the words smoothly fell from your lips, causing their gaze to bore into you. They made some sort of mumbling sound, unintelligible to you. They seemed so utterly confused.

You gave them a signature smile, sensing their discomfort, and doing your best to alleviate it. You could tell at this point that they probably weren’t used to interacting with people, given the way they had been so reclusive. In attempts to get them to open up, you spoke softer, kinder, even more charming than usual. “There any way you can help me, partner?” You were burning at this point, skin glistening with sweat and your clothes glued to the moisture on your body. They seemed to try and subtly eye you, though they were extremely obvious— even moreso as they embarrassedly looked away from you. You chuckled.

They shifted on their feet, acting shy despite how intimidating they were as a person. After a moment of thought, they nodded a bit. When they looked at you again, you could make out a hint of a shy smile on their face. They stepped aside, willingly giving you a pathway into their mysterious home. You stared into their eyes, giving them a handsome, toothy, smile. “Thanks, darlin’,” You hummed to the large and timid person. They squealed a bit, joy taking over their face as you stepped foot into their odd home.

#slashers #slasher x reader #slasher x you #slasher x male reader #slasher fandom #slasher fic #slasher fanfiction #slasher fluff #bubba sawyer #slasher imagines #slasher community #leatherface #leatherface x reader #leatherface x male reader #bubba sawyer x reader #slasher x reader insert

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rkiveinmarvel · 2 years ago

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the trick - kaz brekker. des. angst. shadow and bone (tv) s2 spoilers! kaz brekker saw love as nothing but a mere weakness, a soft edge, an instrument to drown, and then there was you. notes. kaz brekker is bad at love lmao. brief mentions of kaz's trauma (again). pekka rollins (yeah, he has his own warnings). six of crows shenanigans. mentions of hurting, bl##d. jordie rietveld. kaz brekker. enemies-to-lovers-to-idk.

hello, hello! i'm not good at intro lmao. but read it while listening to the night we met by l. huron for more raw emotion??? i remember writing this 3am on monday, so, it might be a lil' messy ;<

wc: 1.4k

The ride back to the slat was painted with the deepest shade of silence, the alarming heart rate of everyone, the tension of everyone’s gaze, the weight on everyone’s shoulder, and the bruise getting settled on Kaz’s face. Jesper looked over at you as he noticed your undying gaze on Kaz. His breath hitched as he whispered.

“He’s okay. Don’t think too much..” You gave a concerned look to Jesper as he gave you a soft smile. The minutes' ride back to the slat was only for a while but for Kaz, it felt like an hour, a decade, it seems like he felt everything, heard everything, and saw everything. He felt the carriage halt as he sensed the familiar noise, as the crows prepared to step down from the carriage, he looked over to your hands and noticed the bruise forming in your knuckles, taking him back to the night when you both met.

----

“Pekka sent me to kill you. You pissed him off after you kept on tailing him, tracking him, watching him. I might say you might be obsessed with him. ” You stated, earning a glare and a concerned look from the sharpshooter and his ‘boss’. As words left your mouth, you felt Kaz’s reserved and fearsome intensity.

“Then why didn’t you?” Though the question felt a little personal to your liking, Kaz’s tone proves otherwise. You felt as if a crow was watching you, daring you, and judging you. No doubt, Kaz Brekker knew that Pekka Rollins hired you to kill him, the fucking bastard of the barrel knew that, and yet here you are having a fucking drink in his fucking club.

When Pekka Rollins let you work for him, he forgot one thing and that is checking your background, yes, perhaps he knew how skilled you are in killing, how your step would knock in silence, and how would the knife and guns would bow down in your presence, but what he did know is your past.

With the last sip of your drink, you look at Dirtyhand’s eyes, “Jakob Hertzoon..”

Kaz Brekker's eyes widened, he uttered something under his breath and made Jesper leave.

“I didn’t kill you in any chance I get because… he stole something from me and I guess he also did to you.” Kaz Brekker searches for any misconceptions in your eyes, white lies that will get under his skin, but all he found are eyes that look at him and it seems like they understood him and knew him under all his walls, all his armor.

“I get what you want from Pekka, you give me what I want..”

“And what is that?” Kaz replied you were taken aback because he was indeed out of character when he replied. You sighed. “...A chance to prove myself.”

And that’s where all it started, as month dances into years, the withering flame in your heart, starts to fuel and fuel even more, the lingering looks in the slat, the searching for him in every room, the protecting him at any given time, it fueled you.

It happened to him too.

It made you strong, it made him afraid. It saved you yet it drowned him in his fears.

It was your dream, it is a nightmare that he got himself into. You were the poison and yet he drank it. Pekka Rollins hired you to kill him and Kaz is damn sure that not only you might kill him but also drown him by accepting his deepest fears and secrets, and an emotion that could cloud his judgment.

After meeting your bruised and bloody hand he looked at you, a flame burning in his eyes and heart, as he felt it the first six months you talked to him about Pekka’s plan and jobs, he felt it the third night when Jordie’s voice seems too loud to his liking, he knew it the moment he saw colors he hasn’t seen before, he knew it when you stood to stop a bullet for him in Ravka, he knew it the moment he searched for you in every corner of the room he’s into, you flashed him a sad smile while he just stared at you getting out of the carriage, by then he knew, that maybe after tonight, he might lose you.

The slat was once again empty when the crows left it, only the deafening silence was left as well as Kaz’s breathing and your hand that is fidgeting with your left ring. The job was done, everything was at ease, and the barrel belonged to the bastard, so, why are you here?

“We need to talk.”

Oh, right, Kaz.

You looked at him, his bruised face was noticeable. He looked at you, your hands are covered in bruises and wounds that is new. He ought to seek the words he wants to say, things that’ll make Jordie’s voice drown in the pit of his conscience, or a word that’ll make you stay forever. But among all the words in the world that entered his mind, it seems like you found the one he need.

“Are you okay, Kaz?” His eyes met yours, and the echoing sound of a candle’s flame drifted into his mind as he saw the distance between you and him, one table apart.

His office was filled with paintings and trophies he stole from the rooms of every building he find fascinating, and yet the most treasured thing that he do not own was you, that among the most beautiful items scattered in the room would be no equal to the fascination that Kaz gives to you.

A part of him wanted to say everything, every nightmare, every dream, every pain, everything that is about him, but he also wanted you to stay, by him, with him. But the armor he has betrayed every little thing that makes him a human, a man.

“Don’t. It makes you dull.” Then, you recalled the moments earlier.

“The trick is not to love anything.” His shark eyes met Pekka’s desperate gaze. A little part of you felt brave but the whole part of you was betrayed. You looked at Nina as she heard your heart, and you looked at Jesper as he looked at Kaz. It pained you that when you felt like you were building Kaz, you were breaking him down into something, something you cannot see nor touch.

“Someone you'd sacrifice everything for and it makes you weak.” Then it hit you, Ketterdamn isn’t the place where the string of fate exists, you’d sacrifice everything for Kaz, all of them knew, except for him. Love is a weakness; you learned that the hard way. You fell for the man who you cannot touch, love, or even see.

You love Kaz Brekker.

“Of course…Kaz, about what you said to Pekka, is it true? The trick?” His gaze lowered, and a sense of guilt woke the soul inside him. As he felt your eyes burning him. He couldn’t fight the right words or the actions he can take, but all he had was his walls and a pair of his broken armor.

“Silence was never my forte, but please, tell me, those longing stares, those endless nights, those times…was that all the trick?” A shake. A shake in your voice was present. When did you become so emotional, Kaz wondered. He knew the answer because he felt the wave of emotion hit him too, harder that the punch and the bruise.

“Love is weakness. It makes us weak—”

“I love you…” Then the world was silenced in the wake of your declaration, the sound of the storming sea was silenced in Kaz’s mind, the voices of Jordie were no longer near, and the water in his lungs was replaced by the enticing feeling in his stomach. “Does that make me weak?”

No. That was what he wanted to say, but all he did was to look at you with a shield in his eyes, that moment, he knew, he lost you.

The cold rushed down your head to your feet, you said those words and you read him wrong. Everything was wrong you were wrong. As you met Kaz’s reserved gaze, it took you to the night where you first met him, wishing that you should’ve killed him, perhaps he was right, the trick is not to love anything.

But the only thing you heard was your footstep leaving the room, the slat, and leaving Kaz Brekker.

“No…It makes me.” He whispered under his breath.

That night, two crows understood something that love is awful, unfair, and unkind.

That love is indeed and truly a weakness.

hehe. angst. haha, my forte.

⚘ masterlist 1 | 2 | 3

#kaz brekker #kaz reitveld #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x you #kaz x reader #kaz x you #kazzle dazzle #six of crows x reader #shadow and bones #shadow and bones s2 #shadow and bone netflix #shadow and bone x reader #trinity_archives #six of crows

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merbear25 · 11 months ago

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Helo there! Would you mind if I may request Akainu x son! Reader please?

You can write this in any scenario you prefer,and bulit their relationship however you like💕

I understand if you can't do my request, but thank you either wats💞💞💞💞

I don’t mind at all! I was playing around with some ideas on where to take this, and I’m sorry but I can’t see him being the most…loving father figure, so I couldn’t resist having angst. Thank you for sending this in and I hope you like what I’ve written for you 💜💜

CW: SFW, platonic, angst (strained family dynamic), m!reader, reader is in the marines, spoilers for Marineford Arc

When the need for acceptance trumps one’s own morals (Akainu)

The light never seemed to touch you, as you were unable to break away from your father’s shadow. Whenever you were acquainted with another, your surname piqued their interest more than the individual they were speaking to. Though the yearning to be recognized as your own person persisted, the want to live up to the name that’d been passed down gnawed at you.

Growing up under the watchful eye of your stern and cold father planted the seed of feeling inferior—igniting the drive to earn your place as his son.

Without any particular talents, your will to push forth began to falter as you struggled to move up the ladder in the Marines. That being said, the adversities you faced molded you into one worthy of bearing the title of Captain, but the title bore a weight that was unbeknownst to many, one which tested the limits of your morality.

The cruelty in this world brought out the worst in people—forcing them to act against their better judgment in order to get ahead in life. You saw those who’d started out as sound individuals, only wanting to protect and serve civilians being morphed into greedy, power hungry heathens. When you didn’t fall into the same pits of damnation, even going so far as to speak out against your fellow Marines, the title you held was put into question by your higher-ups.

Even a title worthy of praise and admiration wasn’t enough for your father to give you that drop of encouragement, that smidge of approval you’d been working endlessly to obtain. When your loyalties were questioned, any hope you were holding onto was slipping. His glare burrowed into your soul; while he delivered the formal warning, your ears strained to focus over the sound of your suppressed heaving breaths.

The days following were met with inner turmoil—thoughts which clouded your mind and casted darkness during a time when you were in most need of light. With news of war trickling down through the ranks, a chance at redemption was overshadowed by the fleeting opportunity of regaining ethics.

As the weight of each blow collided with the irredeemable enemy, the sling of your weapon carried the burden that’d been plaguing you since childhood. Such selfish reasons for fighting didn’t phase you in the moment, instead being pushed aside to fester and later eat away at you in your darkest hour.

Even with the dust from the battlefield having long been settled and the residue on both the ground and survivors having been washed away, only the remnants of that day dwelled.

With your reputation having once been on the chopping block, the regained trust from your fellow Marines brought you such little satisfaction. Even when promoted, the recognition your father bestowed was accompanied by your own bitterness. The praise you’d sought after was lack-luster: faint acknowledgments shown through phrases and subtle nods.

Giving you more time to work alongside him didn’t even grant you the sense of accomplishment you thought you’d wanted. Now feeling as if you were being looked at under a microscope, you begged for your doubts in this cause to go undetected by your father’s eagle eye.

#one piece #x reader #one piece x reader #one piece imagine #op #one piece x you #one piece angst #one piece akainu #akainu sakazuki #op akainu #admiral akainu #op x reader #op x you

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yurozo · 1 year ago

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a study in silence (fenhawke)

(e) fenris is selfish for loving hawke the way he does, but can't help but forever remain in her orbit. circling in her presence, but never getting close enough to taste it. he's simply accepted that hawke is something that will always remain out of his reach, until she reaches for him first. fem!hawke and fenris romance, in the moments between.

1. Fenris lingers in the Hawke mansion for far longer than usual, lounging near the fireplace in relative silence. Marian and him were never ones for rushing through a good bottle of wine; it was always an unspoken rule between them, even when they could rarely agree on anything. He nurses the wine glass with an uncharacteristic languidness while he pretends not to notice the way Hawke is watching him out of the corner of her eye. He watches her just as sneakily in turn, at how her legs stretch out on the couch opposite him and how her arm flexes when she lifts her glass.

He feels a sort of shaky relief that he’s performing in the act of indulging something after all the years of having nothing. They have that in common, he supposes. Hawke tries to break the silence, chattering on about some recent adventure of theirs that Fenris had definitely been on. Regardless, Fenris lets her go on, watching her with a keen eye and a curled lip that looks suspiciously fond. Despite the fact he’s a man usually prone to quiet, his demeanor always stone and sly, Fenris finds a particular calmness in her endless discussions of whatever comes to her head. Ultimately, Fenris is a weak man only for her, in the way she provides a form of relief for him– Fenris can simply sit and enjoy her endless meandering and take sips out of her glass when she pretends she’s not looking.

“Are you staying the night?” Hawke breaks the lull in her story, looking over at him with an expression Fenris can’t decipher.

“I suppose.” Fenris answers, still staring down at his glass. “The walk is far too long to make at this time of night.”

Hawke snorts at that. “Ah, yes. Walking to the other end of the street too much of a labor?”

“Exactly.” There’s a bit of a sly grin on his face. “Not after this much wine.”

Fenris doesn’t want to think about how much of a habit he’s made of staying the night at her place, sleeping stiffly in her armchair and trying desperately not to think about what she looks like in her bed. That every single time he will lie and tell her that sleeping there was comfortable, and the smile that she gives him will ultimately ease the ache in his muscles. The knowledge of Hawke in clothes other than her armor is enough to keep him out of the bedroom, because Fenris knows deep down he does not have enough self-control to be a gentleman about it. And knowing Hawke, she’s most likely sprawled out under her sheets, her dog curled up at her feet. The thought makes him smile anyways.

“You can sleep up in my room if you like.” Hawke’s voice lowers, and she looks away from him to stare down at her hands. “I do hate to see you sleeping on the chair like that.”

There’s a long silence that stretches between them, one that feels different than the others. It’s like a thick fog that settles on Fenris’ shoulders, clouding his better judgment. It’s a line that they’ve never dared to cross, despite their budding friendship over the years. Sure, Fenris has dragged her back home after a particularly tough venture outside of the city, or more often than not back from The Hanged Man. Despite this, he had never dared to cross the threshold into her bedroom. It felt private, like a barrier that always kept their friendship from developing into something more.

But then again, Fenris is a weak, weak man.

“Alright.” He answers, taking another sip of his wine. “I don’t believe the dog will fit on the bed with us.”

Hawke laughs. “He can survive sleeping on the ground for one night.”

They head up to the bedroom minutes later, once the bottle of wine has been thoroughly indulged. Fenris follows at her heels like a puppy, his fingertips lightly tapping against his thigh. Hawke pays no mind to it, opening the door for the both of them and gesturing to him to walk in first. Fenris takes a deep breath, and passes the threshold.

The first thing he notices is that the room is more sparse than he expected. There’s very little personal belongings in her room, save for a journal and scattered pieces of armor. Hawke had never been one for keeping things for herself, often being annoyingly generous with her gift-giving. He had been at the receiving end of it far too many times for him to count.

He lets Hawke climb into bed first while he takes off the remaining pieces of his armor. Fenris takes his time carefully placing it into the corner of the room, waiting for Hawke to change her mind. She doesn’t, and instead watches him undress with a sly grin on her face. He gives her a slightly scolding look, and she dramatically turns her head with a smile.

“Enjoying the view?” He climbs into bed, rolling his eyes playfully.

“Just admiring the Maker-given gifts.” She smiles back, settling under the covers.

Fenris lets out a light scoff, turning to face her. “I didn’t take you for an Andrastian.”

“I’m not.” Hawke answers simply, facing him as well. “But some sights almost make you believe.”

Fenris knows that part is true, at least. The sight of her once again, of Hawke lounging in her bed in something other than the armor he normally sees her in is enough to make even the most sadistic man believe in something more. Something pure and unbidden that Fenris is just self-hating enough to believe he will never deserve. Hawke had always been something that felt just outside of his grasp– humble enough to humor him with their friendship, but always too good for him to have. He’s thought about running away, about leaving Kirkwall and Hawke behind for good, but Fenris is selfish. There is no better fitting punishment for a man like him; to want something so badly, to hold it and feel it in his arms, and know that he is never going to be worthy of it. It’s a constant push and pull, a tease of something more without ever crossing the boundary.

There’s that silence again. That forgiving, comfortable silence between them that Fenris is too familiar with.

Hawke reaches over, unthinking, and presses a soft fingertip to Fenris’ face. He doesn’t move, too frightened to move, as her hand slowly cups the edge of his jaw. Another moment passes, his gaze crooked, before he wraps his hand around her wrist. His movements are slow– careful, like approaching an animal you wouldn’t want to scare away. Fenris is many things, cold and cruel and heartless; but here, in this moment, he’s vulnerable. He’s gentle.

It should stop being a surprise at this point, Fenris thinks, that she can so easily convince anyone to bend to her whims.

It still doesn’t prevent how his heartbeats trips and doubles over itself as she shuffles closer to him, the warmth of her thigh sinking into his skin. Ordinarily, he would move away. He’s too familiar with affection being used as a form of control, too familiar with the cold sting of a lash against his back. But this feels different, her hands are soft and warm and everything that Fenris is not.

There are certain things in the catch of a breath, in the flex of a muscle that had always entranced him. An unspoken language, one that says so much with so little sound. For all the talking Hawke does, she can appreciate Fenris’ silence in a way few can. In the moments before, Hawke looks down at Fenris’ wrist and studies the skin there– tanned and thin, his lilac veins too close to the surface. Nothing about Fenris had ever seemed fragile until now, when he’s peering at her with too large eyes and a strange sort of vulnerability.

Hawke leans forward and presses her lips to his. There’s no spark, no fireworks, no final piece fitting into the puzzle. It’s peaceful, and it’s gentle, and it’s silent. There’s no sound in the room except for the light puff of air that escapes Fenris’ nostrils, and the soft sigh that leaves Hawke’s mouth.

Perhaps the silence isn’t so bad.

In a moment, it changes. What was once gentle turns into something more. Flurried hands pull at his chest, greedy and wanting. Because her every whim is his purpose, and because his purpose is somewhat clouded and inhibited– Fenris complies. Under the endless staccato refrain of you should not be doing this and Hawke deserves better, Fenris' heart feels like it’s alive for the first time. Everything about this feels good, and he is selfish to the core.

“Curse you, Hawke.” He finally grumbles, their lips just inches from each other. She looks at him curiously, but the glimmer in her eyes gives her intentions away.

“That’s not the common reaction I get from people after kissing them.” Hawke laughs; bright and cheerful and happy. “What brought that on?”

“You made me need you.” He whispers, looking into her eyes with that look of vulnerability again. Hawke’s hand wanders to the back of his neck, and she pulls him in for another kiss.

“The feeling is mutual.” She smiles against his lips, and this time it’s Fenris that moves in first.

When he walks out the door that night, he leaves his heart behind the threshold, and tries not to cry at his first unselfish deed.

2. The silence is different after that. It’s stilted and awkward, and everyone else has begun to notice. Even Hawke is uncharacteristically silent, in a way that only Fenris can hear. They’re walking through Darktown, trying to find another damned sewer to crawl through when Varric finally says something.

“So, are you going to spill the details?” He asks, looking up at Fenris with a wry smile. Fenris only looks back at him with what can only be described as an expression of scathing anger, and Varric holds his hands up in surrender. “Just need some details for the novel, you know how much my readers love the tragic romance.”

“There is no romance to speak of.” He answers quickly, perhaps a little too quickly for his liking. Varric glances over at Hawke, then at Fenris, and his expression turns thoughtful. Fenris scowls. “Whatever you are writing in your head, stop it.”

Varric simply laughs, and re-adjusts his crossbow. “Alright, broody. I’ll drop it. But I care about Hawke. Try not to let her suffer for too much longer, yeah?”

Fenris looks ahead, and pretends he didn’t hear him.

3. He can tell Hawke is suffering. He can see it in the tears building in her eyes, her sluggish movements. The walk back from Foundry is silent again, and none of the other party members have the courage to speak. Fenris watches Hawke walk into her mansion with a conflicted look on her face, before Varric pats him firmly on the back.

“Go talk to her.” Varric’s voice is firmer than usual. “It’s best if it’s you.”

Fenris nods at Varric in thanks, and opens the front door. The moment it shuts, the first thing he notices is the lack of silence. He can hear Hawke crashing about her room, dropping her armor on the floor with a loud clang.

He heaves a deep sigh, and walks up the stairs. The banging stops.

Fenris is starting to have second thoughts once he reaches her bedroom. Thoughts that he shouldn’t entertain when he sees her sitting at the foot of the bed, the very same bed that they had shared one night months ago. These thoughts were dangerous and impossible, and Fenris tries to suppress the feelings lingering in his chest. It’s not what Hawke needs, and above all, Hawke is what matters. Especially now, when she needs someone so desperately.

He lingers by the doorway. “I don’t know what to say, but I’m here.”

Hawke continues to look down at her hands, at the blood that still stains her fingertips. She hasn’t bothered to wash it off, and Fenris has the sinking feeling that she’s not going to for a while yet.

“It was all my fault. If I had been faster-” Fenris cuts her off before she can continue.

“You are looking for a forgiveness that I cannot give to you.” He sits down next to her, just close enough that their thighs brush against each others. Any more contact would cause Fenris to crumble, so he limits it to only what he can handle. Only to what Hawke needs, and nothing more. A line in the sand, drawn by Fenris in a desperate attempt to keep himself from giving into his selfish desire once more.

“There is no forgiveness for people like me.” She answers sadly, and Hawke’s face carries that same vulnerability that Fenris once showed her. People like us, Fenris wants to say, before he stops himself. If anyone deserves forgiveness, it’s her. The people’s champion, pushing the same boulder up the same hill countless times and hoping for a different result. Once again, they’re the same in that regard.

“There is nothing you could have done.” While his answer is blunt, both of them know it's true. This is the way Kirkwall works, circling the same tragedy and suffering like water entering a drain. The city lets it sink into itself, before spitting it back out with more tremendous amounts of force. It’s unfair that it has to be her, the person who has given everything to this terrible city, only to receive nothing but tragedy in return. The city does not pick and choose which ones are worthy of something better, no matter how much Fenris wishes it could be so.

“Perhaps.” She replies, so soft that it hurts. Fenris sighs, and like he’s done it a hundred times before, covers her hand with his. Her touch is warm, just as she is, and Fenris pointedly does not comment on the tears that splatter on his hand.

It’s Hawke that turns her palm up, lacing their fingers together. When Fenris casts a sidelong glance at her, she’s staring ahead at the wall like nothing is happening. Before he can do something incredibly stupid and out of character for him, he squeezes her hand once and lets go. He stumbles towards the door, ignoring the way he can feel her eyes on him.

“I’m here if you need me, Hawke.” He says, right before he closes the door. “I always am.”

When he finally shuts himself away, Fenris stands in the hallway for a moment too long and tries to force air into his lungs. Hawke’s expression is branded into his mind, the way that she cried and crumpled before him. In all the years that he’s known her, he’s never seen her so weak.

Everything ever written, all the books that Fenris forced himself to read after Hawke’s appalled shock at his lack of education cannot describe this feeling in words. Fenris was not someone made to love, he was made to hurt and follow orders, and this type of tenderness is entirely unbecoming to someone like him. But Hawke is someone made of love– it pours over her every word, laced in every tender affection she so freely gives.

He wants to give that to her, help fill the chalice that Hawke empties so easily.

But that was before– before Hawke had crawled her way into his heart in that fussy and incongruent way of hers that Fenris loathes so much. Before he kissed her, before he broke her heart, and before he left his heart in that damned bedroom.

4. Isabela is staring at him again. An unsettling and calculating gaze that’s sending shivers up his back. He can tell Hawke is pretending not to notice, keeping her gaze forward and towards their destination.

“What are you staring at?” He finally says, glaring at Isabela with all the

“Trying to see something.” She smiles, and Fenris can just barely see the glimmer of amusement in her eye. Isabela’s up to something, and after years of knowing her, he knows when she’s about to stir up trouble for nothing other than her own amusement. “Anders and her have been getting close, don’t you think?”

Fenris says nothing, but the slight twitch in his eyebrow gives him away. Isabela chuckles to herself, and turns her gaze forward. When he finally responds, his voice is tinged with the slightest hint of jealousy. “What Hawke does is none of our business.”

Isabela largely ignores him, continuing her train of thoughts much to his chagrin. “I see him lurking out of her house at all hours of the night. Always with that sly look on his face.”

His eyes flicker over to Anders in pure unadulterated anger, and Isabela nearly doubles over in laughter at the cross look on his face. Over the years, Fenris had become increasingly obvious with his affections, and Varric had made it a regular habit to mention the ‘puppy dog eyes’ that always breaks through his stoic exterior at the mere mention of her name. He can feel the energy humming through his veins at the thought of Hawke with anyone else but him, because Fenris is selfish and terrible and wicked.

Out of the corner of his eye, breaking his unrelenting scowl in Ander’s direction, he can see Hawke look back at him with a concerned look on her face. He softens at that, and his markings fade to a dull hum. It only makes Isabela smile wider, at the way Fenris becomes so uncharacteristically weak from only a glance in her direction. The very thought of her with Anders, of him touching her the way he once did, is enough to bellow the pit of jealousy flaming in his stomach. This spirited pursuit of inactivity ends here, he decides, and follows Hawke a bit closer.

5. Driven by a morbid curiosity, and perhaps the lingering feeling of jealousy seeded and nurtured by Isabela’s comments, Fenris begins to drop hints. Increasingly expensive bottles of wine that happen to show up on Hawke’s kitchen table with no warning, lingering touches on her back after an arduous battle. He rubs a droplet of blood of her cheek with his thumb, his expression filled with an aching tenderness reserved only for her. He lets their legs press together in the cramped seats of The Hanged Man, shallowly excused to his friends by having a glass too many of whatever swill he drank this time.

Hawke had also drank too much this time, it seems, by the way she leans her shoulder into him with a casualness that Fenris envies. Every move, every dance of affection was always carefully calculated by him, and yet Hawke touches him like they had known each other for millenia. They eventually get shooed out of the bar, with Hawke hanging off his shoulder and reeking of still blood and ale.

She rambles on once again about something Fenris is only half-listening to, his mind preoccupied by thoughts that are once again impossible and dangerous. The curve of her lips, the arch of her back. The white-hot contact of her arm around his shoulder that sears into his skin like a brand.

“My point is-” Hawke speaks a little too loudly for his taste, especially considering that her lips are right next to his ear. “My point is– they obviously love each other. I don’t understand why they don’t just buck up and say it.”

“It is seldom ever that easy.” He answers simply, holding her waist a little tighter. Love had never been Fenris’ particular forte, no matter the amount of terribly cheesy novels Varric makes him read now. It is something that will remain locked inside of his chest, dampened by his terrible and unselfish desire to see her happy. Happier than anything a broken former slave could ever give her. “And Isabela’s not particularly the sentimental type.”

Hawke rolls her eyes, and sighs deeply. “I know. I know, and yet I want them to be happy. Love is so… stupidly complicated.”

Fenris can understand that, at least. The ardent and unrelenting desire to see someone they care for truly content. “Love often ruins people. She is right to be cautious.”

“All I’ve ever wanted is to love someone.” Hawke answers, her voice softer, less slurred. “Like that, I mean. I never thought I would be one of those sappy romantics, and yet-”

Fenris looks at her out of the corner of his eye, trying to ignore the way his heart is nearly pounding out of his chest. Hawke’s silent for a long moment as they stumble through the streets of Hightown at a leisurely pace.

Hawke looks at him, hiccups once, and smiles crookedly. “I like the new sword. It suits you.”

“Thanks.” He shakes his head, fighting the grin rising to his face.

They make it to her front door, and the moment between them vanishes into the night air. He leads her into her house, where they play cards and he lets Hawke believe she won fairly. All he can do is try to shove down the image of her smiling at him so openly to the back of his mind.

6. Fenris is pacing around her mansion, muttering half-impassioned Tevene curses into the open air. Hawke simply watches him stalk around the room, sitting in the armchair with a half-empty bottle of wine.

“Festei bei uno canavarum.” He mutters angrily, the markings tainting his skin casting the room in an eerie glow.

“No need to go overboard with the thanks.” She teases half-heartedly, tilting her head curiously at him. Fenris was particularly known for these random bouts of anger, but this was different. He was mourning, broken by a life lost. Fenris only looks at her scoldingly, but says nothing in return.

“Hadriana is dead. I should be free.” He finally says, his tone still laced with anger. The energy thrumming through his veins is running too hot to dampen, and Fenris lets that anger simmer off him in waves. Hawke doesn’t seem particularly perturbed by this, sipping at her wine while he storms about the room. Suddenly he stops, his gaze fixed on the fireplace with a withering expression. “I should be happy.”

“You still can be. This is not the end of everything.” Hawke answers, leaning forward slightly in her chair. “Danarius is not all that you are.”

Fenris still doesn’t move, his eyes still lingering on the ashes flickering out of the fireplace. “It feels like it.”

“I know. But this is a chance for you to start over.” She stands up, walking over to him to lean against the wall. He only looks at her briefly before the flames feel like they’re licking up his ankles, and he forces his gaze back to the dying fire. “To have a new life.”

The phrase ‘You could leave this all behind’ is left noticeably unsaid. Fenris doesn’t want to leave Kirkwall, the thought only ever crosses his mind for brief moments before being quickly stamped by his aching fondness for this place. Particularly for one person within it.

“I don’t want a new life.” I don’t want to leave you, is what he doesn’t say. She understands it anyway. “I thought I would be free.”

“You are free, Fenris.” He also notices the way she doesn’t use his old name, the one whispered to him in Hadriana’s dying breath. Hawke is looking at him with that expression that he once again cannot describe. “You always have been.”

Fenris watches as the flames flicker out, leaving behind only flaring embers. “This freedom tastes like ashes.”

“I know.” Hawke answers, reaching her hand out to gently interlace her fingers with his. “But this time it’s going to be different.”

7. It’s another night that he’s lingering about in her presence, nursing another expensive bottle of wine that he not-so-secretly dropped at her place. He had been ecstatic at her invitation to drink it together, using the wine as an excuse to ensure Anders will not be making any more night-time visits to her mansion. Hawke is tittering about the kitchen, complaining once again that he doesn’t eat properly, that his mansion is a mess, that he really ought to stay with her while they at least clean the corpses off the floor.

Fenris watches her with a keen interest, fingers tapping on the wine bottle in an uneven rhythm. “I think it adds character.”

“Character.” She scoffs, turning to face him. “The smell alone– I truly have no idea how you can even bear to step foot within it..”

“Because it’s mine.” He answers, his brows slightly raised. There’s a slight pride in taking something from his former master, in desecrating it to the point of abandonment. A property of Danarius’ that Fenris can completely destroy with very little consequences.

“At least clean it a little.” Hawke sighs, leaning back against the counter. “Just the entrance, so I don’t have to smell rotting corpses when I need to come get you.”

“For you, I will.” He grins slightly, taking another sip of wine. For her, he would clean the whole damn place. Get on his knees and scrub every inch if it makes her happy. But he doesn’t say that, just looks up at her with that slight grin he knows she loves to see so much.

“Good. Maybe one day I’ll actually be able to spend the night there.” This time, her tone is lighter, more teasing. The comment gives him pause, his fingers resuming that endless tapping on the wine bottle. The silence grows heavy between them.

“We never did talk about it.”

“About what?” She takes a step forward and seats herself across from him. Their knees slightly touch against each other under the table, but Fenris doesn’t move away this time.

“That night.” He finally says, looking up at her. Her expression crumbles, and he can see the exact moment that she recalls the heartbreak he caused her. The very same expression she wore the night he left, the night he took what he needed from her and left her broken under the covers. The silence closes his mouth and twists at his heart. He loves her in such a vain and terrible way, an ember desperately trying to keep the fire burning no matter how much he tries to be altruistic.

“You never wanted to talk about it.” Hawke looks down at the table, one finger carefully caressing the edge of the wood. She follows the grains delicately, and Fenris tries not to remember the way she had touched him like that once, like something fragile. But he does, and it kills him. “And I never wanted to push.”

“I thought it would be better if you hated me. If I could forget about everything that happened between us, if I could forget-” Fenris pauses, “I don’t deserve your forgiveness. But I ask for it anyway.”

Hawke is still staring down at the table, her brows furrowed. “Remembering isn’t all so bad.”

He knows. Maker, he knows. Despite everything that’s happened, not only between him and Hawke, but with Varania and Danarius and everything else. Memory has brought him a terrible sense of tranquility that makes him uneasy. It’s painful, feels like being burned alive from the inside out, but the pain makes it real. Makes the memory real. “The worst thing is that I remember it.”

“I know.” She answers, finally looking up at him. Fenris looks at her eyes, at the way the light glimmers in them, and feels a part of him come to life. She remembers too, he knows in the way her eyes gaze through him.

“I cannot give you what you deserve. You deserve a lot better than me.” Fenris feels like he’s pleading, coming back to that line in the sand with a damned fortress, armed with cannons and soldiers. “A lot better than this.”

“I love you anyways.” She smiles at him. Stupid, caring, giving Hawke, emptying out what’s left of her just to see him smile. Her hand, once again, reaches out to lay on top of his. “But I need to know why.”

“I thought about what I would say to you. About the answer I would give.” Fenris can’t say the reason why he was so painfully and pathetically in love with someone who showed him a tender kindness when he was never deserving of it. That after seeing the past that made him, molded him into a lyrium-infused cold-blooded killer, he knew letting Hawke go would be the only chance he ever got to warrant her. That he made a stupid decision to try and be a better man, and it hurts her anyways.“I am a coward. The memories it brought up– I am not a man that could show you the love you deserved.”

“And yet?” She questions, her eyes peering up at him curiously. He loathes those eyes, the way it sees through every crack in his barrier so carefully put together by tattooed hands. “There must be a reason you’re bringing this up.”

“And yet I love you anyways.” He answers. “Because I need you in ways that I shouldn’t.”

Fenris lets himself be selfish, for this one long painful moment that sits between them. Love really is a complicated, all-encompassing thing. Fenris hates it, but cherishes the feeling anyways. He swallows the apprehension clawing its way up his stomach, and continues. “Nothing could be worse than the thought of living without you.”

“Perhaps -” Hawks smiles, her expression going soft. Her fingers lightly curl over his wrist, the same way Fenris had once held her. “Perhaps I’ll hold this over you a little while longer.”

He lightly chuckles at that, and pulls her closer. “Don’t you dare.”

8. They’re laying in bed hours later, his arms wrapped around her waist. This time, he has no thoughts about leaving, no doubts about his place here. It feels right, and Fenris can comfortably sit in the silence with her.

“Do you remember what you said to me? About needing me?” Hawke is the first to speak, as she usually is. Her finger traces light patterns into his chest, nails pressing right at the edges of his markings. They hum lightly at her contact, a pleasant dull sound that reverberates in his chest. It doesn’t hurt this time, nor will it hurt anytime after.

Fenris remembers. He lets the silence speak for him.

“I’ve been thinking about it.” She continues on, trailing down towards his abdomen. “I think we’ve always needed each other.”

He thinks about it, about the ways that they had always sought the other’s presence in their darkest moments. How Hawke held his hand after Leandra, how Fenris paced about her mansion after Varania. Two stars forever in orbit, refusing to keep the distance between them. A blurred line in the sand, washed away and moved inch-by-inch until there was no longer anything standing between them.

“You’re not selfish, Fenris.” Hawke turns to him. “There is nothing about you that my heart won’t accept. I will love you to any end, against all the pain.”

“The feeling is mutual.” Fenris laughs., kissing her once more.

#i adore pathetic pining fenris #also available on ao3 please leave me comments they make me so happy #fenhawke #fenris x hawke #fenris da2 #dragon age 2 #dragon age ii #hawke #marian hawke #sorry i made it kinda depressing i hope it makes up for it #dragon age #dragon age fanfiction #yuru's writings

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desired-deity · 1 year ago

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The Dance of Death.

“ i knew when i met that man that he was trouble, and when i set foot on that ballroom floor…i knew this would be the day that i would die and take my final bow… ”

Context : A ballroom dancer, Y/n, who had a temper but was still respectful towards others had left her hometown just to find out that her whole family would soon be found dead

TW : Blood, death, fem! Reader and little dialogue. (This is also kind of a venting mechanism for me because a lot of the things in this except for the death I have gone through so don’t mind that lol)

A/n : I have been living in angst lately and I needed this so yeah, I hope you like it ^^

Y/n, a 23 year old who was a ballet and ballroom dancer lived in Mondstadt near her parents for years. She had been dancing for seven years professionally and had started at the age of eleven. People had loved and adored her. She was pretty, smart, kind but also had her temper to keep everyone on their toes. Though, she had never wanted a relationship. She went through a terrible time with a toxic boy from Liyue who had come to visit his friends. All he wanted from her was money and fame. After that, she had hated the concept of love entirely, until she moved away from her parents to go to Fontaine, the land of justice and judgment, as the locals would say. She was excited to get away and go somewhere else for once. She had always lived in Mondstadt, after all, her parents grew up there and never left that town. Y/n, on the other hand, had wanted to explore the world and meet new people, not the same faces everyday. A change was all she needed these days. And so she got that change.

Y/n went to Fontaine and permanently moved after the first couple days of staying there. She loved the place and wanted to leave her comfort zone for once. She wanted to be a free spirit and just wanted to do what she loved, dancing. And that’s what she did…until her parents were found dead. She had only just gotten to Fontaine, and now was on her way back to her hometown with three new friends: Navia, Wriothesley and Sigewinne. They ran into Y/n while she was out sight seeing around Fontaine. And when they got back to Mondstadt, all eyes were on the dancer. No one dare spoke a word to her, they only glanced and looked her way.

“Y/n…we are so sorry about your losses, after all they were amazing people and they were your family.” The only man that would speak to her at the moment was the closest family friend, Alexander. Though, instead of seeing him, she was looking down at the ground with clouded vision from her tears. She could feel Navia patting her back as a way to comfort her while Sigewinne was hugging Y/n to the best of her abilities. She knew that she would have to visit her family’s grave, and she was dreading it. Y/n never liked it when she showed vulnerability, so when she got to the grave alone, she screamed and sobbed. So loud that even the three could hear her crystal clear. Soon after, Y/n came back, they all knew she wanted to go home. So, when they arrived back at Fontaine l, she went straight to dancing to get her mind off of everything that was happening around her. Especially her self debt after she knew what she had done.

And then days later, Wriothesley invited her to a ball. And she had accepted. Now, she had been to a ball before but, it had been a long time. So, the day came along. And when she got to the location, she already knew her judgment had been looked through and her parents would soon be served justice in under three hours. Then she saw Wriothesley in the middle of the ballroom, holding his hand out to Y/n. And she knew that her death would have been casted upon her as soon as this dance was done. As she took his hand into hers, she looked up at the male and as they started to dance, Y/n started to cry. Then the last measure of the music came up, Wriothesley had let go of Y/n’s hand and merged in with the crowd that stood away from her. And as the last note was played, she paused. And with a soft whisper only Wriothesley could hear, she said…

“I’m so sorry…my dear.”

And with that, she rose her hand to the chandelier. Then it crashed down on the ballroom dancer, killing her while finishing her final dance. Little did Wriothesley know, he was crying after the beautiful, lighted object fell on Y/n. Leaving him to wonder why she would ever kill her parents, the ones that saved Mondstadt.

#x reader #x y/n #desire writes!#wriothesley x reader #wriothesley #wriothesely genshin #wriothesely x y/n #genshin x reader #genshin impact #fontaine x reader

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scythesms · 2 years ago

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Reading Rosalyn’s favorite book wasn’t enough to keep her grounded. Edmund’s narration got lost in the internal pain she desperately tried to ignore. Her attention faltered with every turn of a page.

“I’m tired, dear,” Rosalyn spoke softly. Her throat was too sensitive to emit a volume any higher.

Edmund quickly closed the book and rose from his chair. “I’ll leave you to rest.”

“No.”

“Sleep will do you good, Rosalyn.”

“All I do is sleep. Sleep will come. Keep me company until then.”

Edmund sat beside her on the bed. She used as much strength as she could to take his hand. He frowned. “You look unwell.”

“For once, let’s not discuss my dreadful condition,” she pleaded. “Anything else will do.”

Rosalyn was well aware of her state and frustrated with the illness that wouldn’t release her from its shackles - tempting her with proximity to full recovery before pulling her back just when she could fantasize about a future with her family. Days ago, the manor granted her hope. Today, she could barely lift her head.

Her swollen eyes were too heavy to keep open. The soreness of her throat overlapped with its prickliness, triggering painful coughs every so often. Her skin beaded with sweat while she shivered. As much as she wanted to sit up, her shoulders weighed her down and her head pulsed with a constant ache. All considered, she did not need further reminders of how poorly she looked and felt. She was miserable and talking to her husband allowed her a momentary escape.

Edmund watched her eyes dart from him to the ceiling as she shivered, trying to pull herself away from her misery. His hand tightened around hers. “What do you suggest we talk about?”

Rosalyn closed her eyes for a moment, wincing as she swallowed. “I know-” She exhaled. “I know I wasn’t the most welcoming during our introduction… It’s childish, but-” She paused when a shiver passed. “When did you first come to like me?”

Edmund would’ve chuckled at the question if not for the circumstances they were under. Answering her would distract him, as well. “I’ve always liked you, as much as I didn’t want to. I admired your charm and composure - less of your wit, at first. But I don’t think I accepted the fact until that night we danced in the parlor.”

Rosalyn weakly smiled. “I knew it.”

“You did.” He stared down at her with affection. “You’ve always known more than I did… The first time we spoke, you told me my love for you was inevitable. You were so definitive, so frustrating… and right in the end.”

The back of her head sunk deeper into her pillow as the strength that kept her awake wore out. She looked to the ceiling before returning her focus to him. Quieter than moments before, she asked, “Do you?”

“Do I?”

“Love me.”

Edmund sat in bewilderment. Why would she ask such a thing?

Her eyes shut, too tired to fight to keep them open, and as if reading his mind, she whispered, “I want to hear you say it.”

He was quiet for a second, thinking over her request. He wondered if she’d questioned his love for her, before, or if her tiredness simply clouded her judgment. Of course, he loved her. She knew it. He knew she did. The love he felt for her transcended his love for all else and the possibility of her not knowing pained him.

“I love you, Rosalyn. You know I do.”

Edmund sat in wait for a response when he noticed the cease of her shivers and strained breaths, as well as the fall of her limp hand. He reached for her with tears in his eyes. “You have to know I love you.”

As long as he waited for her to respond, she never did.

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#1914 #Ambroise Legacy #1910s #decades challenge #sims 4 decades challenge #sims 4 historical #ts4 historical #ts4 decades challenge #ts4 challenge #black simblr #sims stories #AL #Edmund Ambroise #Rosalyn Ambroise

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itsagirlwithglasses · 2 years ago

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A Shadow’s Tale — Chapter Five

Azriel x Pirate Female!Reader

CHAPTER FIVE

Word Count: +4,100

a/n: Gosh I'm terrible at keeping up with posting, I'm really sorry! I'll try not to take this long again! But a very steamy chapter is here, so enjoy! <3

Warnings: NSFW, Minor DNI, +18, mentions of scars, shadow play

You hated lies, and you never meant to deceive. The truth was a bitch and you weren’t sure if it was best known or kept locked away.

But hearing Azriel’s words broke something within yourself you weren’t sure would ever heal. You heard his roar in the skies but you walked out of the town house and walked home. You quickly realized your mistake as you took in the tall building and the mocking 10,000 steps.

You scoffed at yourself and turned around walking into town. Soon you reached a bar and walked in taking a seat and ordering a drink. You drank it quickly feeling the burn on your throat from the alcohol and ordered another one sipping on it.

“I didn’t peg you for a drinker.” You turn toward the soft masculine voice and took in his familiar red hair. He had a few tiny braids that held his hair back on his left side while the rest cascaded over his right shoulder. His golden eye assessing you without so much of a head motion. He sported a small smile and you mimicked.

“I didn’t peg you for small talk…” You murmured.

“Lucien.” He said and you nodded. “I don’t think we ever got properly introduced.” He reached out his hands over the counter and you looked at it taking it slowly.

“What does a member of the autumn court does on the Night Court?”

“It’s complicated, what about you?” He grinned, “a pirate?”

“It’s complicated,” you grinned back nursing your drink.

“Fair,” He looked down on his drink pressing his thumb on the rim and you followed the movement “They don’t really make it easy for us estranged uh?”

You chuckled softly, “Certainly not,” You took a deep breath “But tell me, what keeps you here?”

“My mate,” he said softly and you heard the sadness in his voice.

“Oh…” you exclaimed surprised, “Did she…”

“No, she’s alive” He dismissed your dark thoughts, “Just in love with someone else…”

“Oh…” You looked away from his face taking a deep breath, “I guess we’re both on the same boat then…”

He looked at you frowning, “You have a mate?”

“No… At least not that I know of… It’s just… This male I got sort of close to…” you shook your head chuckling, “I thought he was different, but I think I was just choosing to ignore what was right in front of me...”

“I see…” He mumbled, “He’s a jerk.” You raised your brows at him questioning, “You seem like a good person, whoever that male is… He’s probably not worth it.”

“Did she ever accept the bond?” You asked after a few minutes of silence.

“No… I also never forced it, I guess the reason I’m still here is because I hope someday she will feel the way I do for her but… I think her judgment is too clouded for that…”

“She sounds like a jerk,” he looked at you, the corners of his mouth turning up slowly. “You know, you are a great guy and all that.” You winked making him laugh throwing his head back and you joined.

—

You ended up meeting with Bonnie at the inn your crew was staying at. Lucien had left for his apartment in the city after hugging you goodbye and wishing you good luck. You shared a bed with Bonnie and snuggled just like you had done so many times before when you were younger.

“Are you ready for this?” She asked while you finished tying up your boots.

“I don’t think I will ever be ready, but I guess I don’t really have a choice now, do I?” Bonnie put her hands on your shoulders making you look at her.

“You will always have a choice.”

“They need this to win the war, and I…” You took a deep breath shaking your head.

“I know, but don’t let your business with the spymaster mess up your plans for Hybern.”

“I want him dead.”

“He will die.” Bonnie reassured you and you only nodded.

Soon you, Bonnie and Sebastian were making your way to your ship. You told the rest of the crew to stay back. Rhysand might or might not know about your magic yet but you still wanted to show no threat.

As soon as you arrived you saw Cassian, Rhysand, Feyre, Nesta and Amren waiting. No Azriel. And that fact made your heart ache a little more.

You had spent most of the night awake thinking about what you had heard. The way his voice dropped with venom and hatred when he spoke about you.

You had only caught part of the conversation when they started talking about you. But it had been enough to understand his feelings for you. Lust was all he had ever felt. Nothing else. Just another female who almost fell for his charm.

“Shall we?” Rhysand nodded to you and you nodded back slightly.

You walked in front with your friends as you stepped on the little boat that would drive you to your ship. Cassian, Rhysand and Feyre had flown in while Sebastian roamed the boat. Nesta had told them she would travel with you instead of flying and you gave her an appreciative nod.

When you reached the side of the ship. Sebastian went up the side ladder rope first and then Bonnie, you helped Nesta before you went up after her.

“Guide us,” Rhysand spoke simply and you approached him.

“Before I take you to it… I wanted to say something” He only nodded, a silent permission to keep going, “I wanted to say thank you… I know I kind of came uninvited into your lives and haven’t been the most… grateful”

“Is that all?” Rhysand voice sounded colder than usual and you nodded finally guiding them in to your cabin.

You took the key that was in a chain around your neck and walked towards a cupboard at the end of the room. You could feel their eyes on your back. It opened with a click and you took a shuddering breath opening it wide. You felt it’s magic straight away. The dark power that coated the troves. Bonnie and Sebastian came closer and helped you taking them out: a sword, an harp and a mask.

You handed them to Cassian, Rhysand and Nesta. You turned towards the cupboard again and used another key to open a tiny compartment in the back. You took out a book that made the magic running through your veins hum in response.

Taking a deep breath you turned around and handed it over to Feyre who looked at it in confusion.

“What is this?”

“It’s how my father learned about magic while in Hybern… More specifically how to take our magic back.” There was no surprise in Rhysand’s face to the mention of your magic. He knew. Of course he did.

Feyre however seemed like the only one who was surprised by this news.

“Your magic? What…” she took a look at her mate, “you knew?”

“Why tell us now? Why not sooner?” He asked, deliberately ignoring her question and I frowned at him.

“I wasn’t sure… It’s not natural, what they did to me,” you spoke fighting your emotions, “I hate who I became because of it, I didn’t want this”

“You came here wanting an alliance and then you lied,” He scoffed, “You said you weren’t sure you could trust us and yet… You were the one hiding things from us. Tell me now… how can I trust you?”

You shook your head, “The troves… the book, I… I’m giving it to you…”

“And they will be very useful, but you need to go.” He said firmly.

“Rhys…” Feyre gasped.

“You promised!” You said pointing a finger in his direction, he waved a hand making the troves vanish. You breaths became faster.

“You also promised not to double cross me. I guess we both broke our words.”

“Rhysand you can’t be serious.” Nesta spoke, arms crossed over her chest. “They didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I’m not discussing this with you, Nesta.” Rhysand bit off gaining a low growl from Cassian which he ignored. “We are leaving now,” he turned to you, “I want you all gone off my city by tomorrow morning.”

You were too stunned to speak. You could feel Rhysand’s dark power encasing your ship and then gone as he winnowed himself and the rest of them away.

“I can’t believe he did that…” Bonnie broke the silence and you fell to your knees, hands on your face as you let the tears fall for a while.

“I’ll go get our things back!” Sebastian spoke angrily and you held his arm.

“No.” You simply said taking a seat by your desk, he stormed out pacing on the deck.

A few minutes and a lot of tears later you got up wiping your eyes with the back of you hand. “Where are you going?” Sebastian spoke.

“There’s someone I need to find before we leave.” You spoke firmly and left the ship.

—

You ventured yourself through the forest, your pace was fast and you kept replaying in your head the words you wanted to tell him. You weren’t sure where you were headed but something was pulling you in that direction so you followed your gut.

The sun was almost setting when you finally found him. Perched on a rock with the hems of his pants pulled up and his bare feet in the freezing cold water of the river. Azriel’s back was on you, his shadows looked almost frantic surrounding him that you could’ve sworn you had heard them whispering incoherencies.

You took some deep breaths before approaching him. You sat by him, he didn’t move or flinch or looked in your direction. He knew you were coming. His eyes were fixed on the running water that splashed his feet. His breathing was calm and steady. The anger you had sensed the day before no where to be seen.

“You hate me.” You broke the silence.

“I don’t hate you.” His voice was raspy like he hadn’t spoken in a while, he cleared his throat “I could never hate you.”

“I heard what you said, how you truly feel about me.” He said nothing so you continued, “I’m leaving… Tomorrow morning.” His head snapped in your direction, his brows furrowed.

“Why?”

“Rhysand has the troves… He doesn’t need me anymore… I was,” you chuckled sadly, “dismissed.”

“What… No, you probably misheard him… He said he wouldn’t.” He was shaking his head.

“He made it very clear… I guess I should’ve guarded my heart better,” you finally looked him in the eyes, “I trusted too easily, and all I got was heartbreak.” He did not speak, you took in his silence nodding. “I just wanted to say goodbye… I’m not sure why, but I actually liked you Shadowsinger…” you closed your eyes inhaling the cold air, “but even I am not stupid enough to try to claim an already claimed prize.”

“What are you talking about?” He whispered and you just shook your head getting up and heading out the forest not turning back.

Before you could leave the clearing you felt his hands on your arms holding you in place. His shadows swimming around you. Your breathing became shallow.

“Don’t go…” He whispered in your ear making goosebumps rise in your arms. His mint and cherry scent overwhelming your senses. You closed your eyes trying to calm your racing heart. “Please.” He whispered again kissing the crook of your exposed neck. He was so close you could feel his body heat.

“We can’t do this…” You turned around resting your forehead and hands on his chest. His heart was beating just as fast as yours. “You’re spoken for…”

“I’m not—“ you looked him in the eyes.

“You’re going to tell me you don’t love her?”

“Who are you—“

“Elain,” you whispered quickly looking away and felt his posture become rigid under your hands, “Azriel… I don’t know what you two have, but I don’t want in on that mess…” He was very silent and still.

“What do you know about it?” His voice was suddenly low and cold. Nothing like the Azriel who had just been kissing your neck. His hands slid off your arms, the only point of contact was your hands still on his chest.

“You love her.” He stepped back suddenly making you stumble back as well.

“I don’t…”

“Don’t do it Az.” Your jaw was clenched and you pointed a finger at him. “Don’t lie to my face like that.”

“She has a mate.” You dropped your hand to your side. Your mouth gaped with realization.

“Lucien…” You whispered looking around shaking your head. “You… Elain…” You took some steps back to create distance between you two and putting your hand to your forehead.

“I know how it looks and sounds,” He talked low and you looked at him wide eyed.

“Who is your mate Azriel?” You asked him suddenly and he gapped at you. He shook his head. “Who. Is. Your. Mate?”

“I don’t know.” He was looking at his feet now, his hands on fists on his side. He didn’t look at you as he spoke. “I thought… Maybe the mother was wrong, three sisters and three brothers… But she is not mine, for all I know I don’t even have a mate. We would’ve crossed paths by now.” He looked at you now, “I thought…” he sucked in a shaky breath, he stepped closer. “I thought you were my mate when we first met on your ship… it had made sense for me, but… there’s nothing, no light, no thread, no bond… “

“So what? You were trying to take me to bed to prove that I wasn’t your mate?” You stayed a few feet away from him, “And where does Elain stand in all this? Did she know?”

“She suspected after that night… But no, I never told anyone.”

“Rhys?”

“He doesn’t want me involved with you for political reasons and also…”

“Because of my magic.”

“Yes… We don’t know what you are still, we don’t understand.”

“I showed you what I am…”

“I know, but…”

“And does it even matter?”

“What?”

“The bond… what would’ve happen if you were in fact my mate? Rhys would just order you not to be? Because he doesn’t like it? Like me?”

“It’s not like that…”

“Please enlighten me.”

“If you were my mate,” He paused putting a hand to his face and moving it to his hair pushing it back. “If you were mine, no one would have anything to do with it.”

“But I’m not…”

“You’re not…”

“Then why are you trying to kiss me Azriel?” You stepped closer and he mimicked you.

“Because you vex me,” Another step forward, “Because when you’re near I feel rage, and lust,” another step, his forehead on yours, his eyes were slits, “I have no self control when you laugh or when you talk or when you lose your breath when I’m close.” His arm wrapped around your waist making your body flush to his. “I wanna kiss you, since that day in the dungeons.” He licked his lips, you could feel his hot breath on your face, “I wanted to kiss you since you first looked me in the eyes, seeing the worst of me and my power and you didn’t coward,” His lips brushed yours very lightly now, “I wanted to shut your wicked little mouth, and even whip you because I knew that day that you’d enjoy it.” A little whimper left your mouth and not even a second later his mouth was on yours. An hunger you’ve never felt before. You wrapped your arms on his neck using your nails to scratch the nape pulling him closer to you. A clash of teeth and tongue, you let our soft moans and you could hear his own soft growls.

He wanted you, mating bond or not.

And Gods you wanted him. So badly.

“I want you,” He whispered when you both stopped for oxygen.

“I want you… too” you said in between breaths.

“Come with me,” He was looking you in the eyes, pleading and your nod of approval was enough for him to take you from the ground wrapping your legs around his waist. His shadows wrapped around the both of you and you stopped feeling the breeze of the forest or the scent of pine. Instead you were suddenly in a dark room. His room, you quickly realized as you took in your surroundings. There wasn’t a lot of decoration but it was very him. A few books scattered by the side table and the king size bed neatly made.

“Where are we?” You asked as he put you down although you could’ve guessed.

“My apartment,” he explained and you nodded looking from the bed to him, suddenly nervous. “We don’t have to,” he reassured you taking your face in his hands.

“I want to.” You looked him in the eyes and then he was kissing you again, gentler this time, slower. He wrapped his tongue in yours in a slow and torturous dance as he walked you back towards the bed. The back of your knees soon hit it and he started kissing your neck while undoing your shirt, slowly sliding it off of you, first your shoulder, that he kissed once naked, followed by your breasts, which were still covered with your white laced bralette, he hummed in appreciation and kissed each nipple, now hardened, on top of the fabric making your moan softly. You put your hands in his hair as he kept descending. Kissing your belly and each of your scars murmuring praises as he did so. He ended up on his knees as he started taking first your boots off then your pants leaving your underwear on.

He looked up through his lashes and you parted your lips at the beauty of this man on his knees for you. He gave you a smirk, clearly smelling your arousal mixed with his own. Your hands still played with his hair as he put his nose on top of your panties and sniffed.

“Perfect,” He murmured and you bit your bottom lip holding in a moan.

It took him only a fast movement to be on his feet and throwing you on his bed making you yelp. You were on your elbows as he made a show of taking his leathers off showing off his muscles and tattoos. Your eyes traced each rippled muscle and each swirl as if you could devour it. His shadows were still there, more frantic than you’ve ever seen them and you stared in awe.

“Like what you see?” He purred removing his pants. No undershorts, only the sheer size of him. You looked in his eyes, cheeks flushed, you swallowed hard before murmuring, “Very,”

His grin was answer enough to let you know of his approval. He picked up his pants and took some sort of cloth out of his pocket. He grinned like a cat and then covered your eyes with the blind fold.

“What…”

“I want you to feel everything,” You were about to object when he added in a soft voice near your ear, “Trust me.” You only nodded.

He took hold of your ankles pulling you the edge of the bed. Spreading your legs wider he hoisted your legs on his shoulders leaving a trail of kisses from your ankle to your inner tight. He repeated the movement on your other leg making you whimper with desire. You couldn’t see him, and you suddenly understood why. The sensation of his hands, lips and tongue seemed ten times intensified.

His nose caressed your center on top of your panties just like before, but this time he used his hand as well pressing on your clit making you moan loudly.

“So wet and ready baby,” He purred and you swallowed hard, trying to controls your breaths.

“Please,” You begged getting a soft bite on the fabric right above your bud making you close your legs around his head which made him chuckle softly.

And as encouragement enough he put your underwear to the side licking you thoroughly. He made work of his tongue on your clit while he inserted two fingers inside you. His rhythm was slow and torturing, your moans were pleading, and he quickly ripped off the fabric making you gasp in surprise.

The darkness created by the blind fold and the knowledge of this male working on you plus all the sensations on your pussy, made your back arch off the bed and you were coming in his mouth with a loud moan. He licked you clean while you tried to recover from the mind blowing orgasm.

He removed the blind fold from your eyes and you sat up quickly kissing him hard. He held you by the neck kissing you back just as intently. You could feel the smile on his lips.

“Let me…” You reach for his cock but he held your wrists quickly tying them above your head.

“I’m not done with you just yet.” He said on a breathy moan and you swallowed looking into his hooded hazel eyes.

His shadows circled around your waist and center, you felt their coolness, which felt great because you were on fire thanks to the male in front of you.

“What are they doing?” Azriel only smiled sheepishly.

“I hope you like some shadow play.” You looked at him confused but your eyes widened as you felt two other shadows wrapping around your legs and holding them apart with a strength that definitely did not feel natural.

Azriel got out of the bed and you looked at him expectantly. He stood back in all his glory and you took him in. His wings were flared a little and he looked absolutely dangerous and delicious.

You saw him smirking as he also took you in appreciatively, then you felt it and almost came undone by it. You threw your head back whimpering as you felt his shadows working your nipples and clit. Their present almost ghostly, but their feel like feather light fingers. A flick on each nipple, and then they starting pumping in and out of you with lightness and speed.

Your mouth was open in a silent moan as they worked you and held you in bed. You felt yourself getting lost in all these new sensations, your core pulsing so strongly you were so close to a second orgasm.

“Don’t come,” Azriel voice boomed suddenly making you jerk your head up and finding his gaze.

“Az…” You plead but he came closer to you and suddenly all the shadows recoiled making your gasp.

“You’re so fucking mesmerizing,” He said lowly as he sat next to you pulling you into his lap so you were straddling him. “Did you like that baby?”

“Yes,” You murmured and he held your chin up kissing you softly.

“Would you like to do it again?” You nodded but he tsked, “Use your words love,”

“Yes.”

“Do you want me to finish what they started?”

“Please.”

He kissed you softly once more before sitting you up and aligning his cock with your pussy. He thrust in slowly making you hold on to him tightly.

“I’d love to fuck you hard, but right now I just want to make love to you.” He whispered in your ear and your heart swelled with emotion.

“I’d like that.”

And just like that you moved in sync with him, he distributed kisses on your chest and neck. Nibbled on your bottom lip and as you heard him trying to hold back you whispered. “Please Az, do what you need to.” And just like that he laid you in bed thrusting his dick more franticly making your body ache in such delicious ways that you didn’t notice your orgasm building up and exploding. He came apart right after you and put his forehead against yours breathing decompensated.

“Beautiful,” He whispered smiling widely with his eyes closed.

“Beautiful,” You agreed, a lonely tear falling on your cheek as he kissed it away.

—

You were gone the next morning.

After spending the rest of the night in Azriel’s arms, both spent and tired. It was just before dawn that you silently left. Tears staining your cheeks as you boarded your ship with you crew and sailed away from Velaris.

“Y/N?”

“Hmm?” You wiped away the tears and turned to look at a very worried Bonnie and Sebastian.

“Where to, Captain?”

“South,” You turned facing the open ocean. “There’s a High Lord I have a visit to pay to.”

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AAAAH PLEASE DON'T BE MAD AT ME!!!

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