#and for the one who’s lost it’s a validation of that feeling and a level of like. somewhere to put the looming ‘this isn’t worth it’

[trans-li-ling]

I think we should give Zora a gun and whatever happens to the Shadow Decree happens

[tofixtheshadows]

You guys really need to stop and consider the ways you're talking about Kabru I am dead fucking serious. Like I know that flattening characters is just what fandom does to a certain extent, but Kabru's actual personality is getting lost to the fandom hivemind insisting that he's aggressive/cruel/sociopathic/hateful, and these are particularly concerning takes to see leveled at the only brown character in the main cast day after day. "My poor sweet golden child Laios needs to be protected from this scary brown man" is not a good look! Like, it's very telling that the bulk of the hate and bad faith readings are reserved for Toshiro and Kabru. Everyone else's flaws get to be discussed and validated and forgiven (or erased), meanwhile people are straight making up things to be mad about with Toshiro and Kabru but patting themselves on the back for being smart.

The worst part is how undeserved it all is. I'm trying to lay off anime-onlys because we're still kind of in the red herring stage of getting to know Kabru, but I would still like to gently suggest that even if you think Kabru is up to something, you don't gave to get in the tags of every fan creator's post and bring up how you hate him or You Can Tell he's totally evil. Sometimes I think Kabru's blue eyes give people license to say things about his appearance that they know would sound completely racist otherwise, but referring to his blue eyes acts as a get-out-of-racism free card. The jokes about the dog with brown contacts are getting old, by the way.

For people who have read the manga, it's disappointing. Kabru is one of the most complex and important characters in the story, and if you base your interpretation of him and all your fandom interactions on shallow first impressions you are completely missing out.

I know part of this is because Dungeon Meshi is a comedy, but the story also wants to be taken seriously. For example, it's admittedly really funny when Chilchuck calls Laios "sick in the head", but that doesn't change the fact that the way Chilchuck casually belittles Laios caused him to hide the fact that he was "hallucinating" from his friends for weeks. Those feelings matter.

Like, this

is funny.

But this?

Is not. This is just a very clear example of a brown boy with PTSD. As someone else with PTSD, just looking at this fucking sucks, man.

The only reason why Kabru thinks about killing Laios is because he is in the middle of a flashback. He's struggling through a panic attack. If he truly wanted to kill Laios because he's violent or because he finds Laios inherently annoying, he wouldn't otherwise talk with Laios normally. Notice how he doesn't act this way at any other point in the story- it's just because he's triggered by monsters. Even when he's thinking about his plans to "deal with" Laios later, he's reluctant to actually kill him and only considers it to prevent another tragedy. Despite his deadly skills, Kabru relies far more on "soft" power- insight, persuasion, diplomacy. He's a rare example of a character who absolutely is, or at least can be, manipulative, but seems to use his abilities for good. He's not a pathological liar, he isn't looking down on everyone behind a smile. He's someone who is extremely emotionally intelligent, and he's willing to put aside all his own basic wants and needs to stop the cycle of dungeons devouring humans.

I'm going to cut a potential thesis on his character short and just give some examples of things that fandom should consider about his personality more:

Racism in fandom isn't just about whitewashing in fan art, or using racial slurs. The insidiousness of bad faith readings, reductions to racist tropes, lack of fan content for characters of color, and dismissal of a character's complexity are far more common. You can believe yourself to be completely neutral or even positive about a character and still churn out low-grade bile about them into fandom's collective unconscious. Fandom reflects real life.

And I have been around fandom long enough to see how these behaviors (mostly from my fellow white fans) affect fans of color, how it makes a fandom feel hostile and unwelcome to them. It's fun to make jokes and memes, I'm absolutely not saying that everything needs to be a deeply nuanced take, but we need to be careful that it doesn't veer into toxicity. Please think about how our contributions to fandom come across, and what sort of vibes they cultivate in this communal space.

[yanderenightmare]

Gojo Satoru

TW: dubcon-ish due to suggestiveness and alcohol, yandere, breakup, depression, schemes, manipulation, office au for some reason

part two in Gojo's pov

fem reader

It’s been two weeks since your breakup—since you got dumped on your sorry ass.

You wished you could say you were fine, wish you could say fuck that guy, anyway, good fucking riddance—that you’d make him regret it, that he didn’t know what he lost, that he’d come crawling back begging your forgiveness soon enough. You really wish you were that girl—the one who gets up and dusts off and gets back out there with her head still held high. You really do.

But no, you’re one of those girls who feel silly getting dressed—worried that you’re trying too hard. Fuck, it’s hopeless. You feel like shit, and you look like shit, and you don’t even want to go out anyway—it’s just some shitty office party at some shitty little bar where everyone’s going to make your breakup their business. It would be best not to go—leave them to talk shit about it behind your back. 

Sure, you could slap on your best tough act and tell them all to go fuck themselves, but why bother? You’re just going to drink too much and end up doing something you regret.

And oh, how right you were.

It’s not even been a good few hours before you’ve got the office slut’s tongue down your throat—all but clinging to him as you press your body up against his. Manicured hands tussled in his pretty white locks, pulling on him while sucking each other’s faces, leeching off the feeling of his hands grabbing your waist—oh god, it feels good to be wanted again.

Yes—yes, this is what you need. Fuck your ex-boyfriend, he’s probably out fucking some skank himself. Well, two can play that game. He’ll see. You’ll make him see. That fucking asshole—

Oh no.

“Wait—stop,” you break off the desperate kissing. 

Hanging your head while steadying your breath, you push both hands flat on his hard chest, keeping him distanced even as he leans after your lips. 

You swallow thickly, then wipe your mouth, taking a step back. “The fuck am I doing…”

You don’t dare look back up at him. Beyond embarrassed, you just want to get out of there as quickly as your feet can carry you—catch the first cab home and forget all about it. Pretend it never happened. 

“Sorry, ‘m gonna go,” you mumble as you start walking away, leaving your confused colleague behind, alone outside the bathroom stalls, still recovering.

You make your way down the hallway with dim neon lights flickering overhead, feeling swallowed up by the graffiti-littered walls.

What a sorry place for mistakes.

“Ugh, I can’t believe I was about to be one of those girls.” You shudder as you wrap yourself in your own hug, feeling silly for wearing a cropped jacket—and why the fuck is your dress so short? You’re not a fucking teenager anymore. “Fucking hell… I’m such a mess.”

“No, wait.” A tug of your jacket holds you in place. Oh, but you really don’t want to look at him. It’s humiliating enough already that you’d sought him out for validation—you don’t need his pity as well. It’s Gojo, for fuck’s sake. A different girl brings him lunch about every day—the whole office knows.

You might just die from the toll of it.

“Com’on. I’m perfect for this, aren’t I?” he asks under his breath while maneuvering you up against the wall again, his dewy breath brushing your scalp as he peers down at you in wait for your answer.

“What are you on about?” You veer away. You should be in a cab already. Better yet, you should have never gone out in the first place. What was your goal here anyway? To not wallow in your own worthlessness? And you really thought seeking Gojo’s seal of approval would make you feel any better about yourself? The office hottie and the century’s ultimate fuckboy?

Fuck, it’s so wrong on so many levels, you feel disgusted with yourself.

“We’re both drunk,” he states, but you don’t really want to hear it—head too filled with your own bullshit to heed any of his. You swear, if he tries any one of his sleazy pick-up lines on you, you’re gonna knee him right in the balls. It would be nice to get fired now anyway—you’d take it as a blessing.

What he says instead is unexpected—brutally and grossly honest, “You need a rebound, right? And I wanna fuck.”

Your thoughts stop shaming you as you look back at him, returning his gaze with an awaiting silence, allowing him to go on.

“So let’s use each other and blame it on the drink.”

It sounds like the lyrics of an angsty heartache song they might have played back inside the bar—the muted thuds seeping in through the walls makes it all but true. And still, there’s something oddly enticing about it, even as it makes you cringe.

“No hard feelings. No strings,” he continues, a small grin playing in the corner of his lips. “Just a good ol’ tit for tat.”

He almost sells it. But you’re just one too many bad nights too tired to buy.

“Don’t be dumb—” you dismiss and try nudging him away again—only, he doesn’t let up.

“C’mon—you’re angry, aren’t you?” he poses with a quirked brow. “What better way to stick it to him than fucking the hottest guy around?”

It stunts you. Suppose that had been exactly your objectives tonight, unknowingly and much to your shame. At least you can find some mediocre solace in your next confession, for as it turns out, “I’m not that kinda girl.”

It’s a depressing outcome. Made even shittier by how you sort of wish you were—that kind of girl. The type who doesn’t let anything get to her, who moves on and doesn’t think twice about it—who fucks the hot guy in front of her and wakes up feeling empowered the next morning. If only you weren’t such a tragic fucking loser…

“Be her for a night?” he suggests, still not having given up. He cups your chin and brushes a thumb over your lips. It’s really intimate, makes you feel pinned beneath that look in his eyes—as if the sky was coming down upon you. His words are low, brushing your face with heat as he says them, “I promise, I’ll make you feel so good you’ll forget all about him.”

Goddamn it—there it is, the fucking pick-up line. Now, it doesn’t really make your knees weak or anything, but you’re sorry to say you can’t deny it’s tempting, either. 

Besides, you really didn’t want to go home and spend the night crying yourself to sleep—again, now paired with regrets about this night on top of it all.

You look at him through the thicket of your mascara, into those big blue puppy-dog eyes looking at you in something so strange such as earnest. Oh God, he really wants to do this for you, doesn’t he? He could go find himself any other girl—everyone had been eyeing him earlier—it’s not too late for him to simply go pick any one of them up. 

Is this his way of being considerate—being a good colleague by offering you a fuck? Ugh… that makes you feel so fucking pathetic. But then again… why does it really matter? You couldn’t really stoop any lower at this point—might as well have some fun while at it, right?

You were out of ice cream anyway…

“C’mon,” he drawls, eyes growing heavier as he leans further in—once again, only a tiny inch separating you. So close you taste his breath and feel his voice on your lips. “Don’t make me beg.” 

You don’t. No, you end up saying not another word. Too busy drowning your sorrows, getting drunk while kissing him breathless.

And oh, you and your bittersweet heartbreak taste so good on his tongue—coercing your boyfriend into dumping you was the greatest ploy for your heart he could ever do.

♡ GOJO SATORU masterlist ♡ JUJUTSU KAISEN masterlist

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

The only relationship I've watched in anime that has absolutely convinced me that big age gaps can work out romantically is the one between Barnaby Brooks Jr and Kotetsu T Kaburagi in Tiger and Bunny.

12 years age gap. Barnaby is 23 and Kotetsu is 35. They're literally the newest rookie and the oldest veteran in the hero scene. And you can say "they are not canon" as if the creators hadn't gone out of their way to state that they pretty much don't care how you interpret it, a romantic reading of their relationship is as valid as anything else.

Their respect for each other? Their partnership? They're both treated as grown ass men on the same level.

Somehow Kotetsu can call Barnaby a "cute little bunny" and still he never reduces Barnaby to a naive child who doesn't know a thing about life. Kotetsu treats Barnaby like a man, a professional. He never infantilizes Barnaby for his trauma or his past. He helped Bunny as much as he can, goes beyond his limits to help him reaffirm himself and recover his independence. Kotetsu wants Barnaby to be respected, to not feel powerless, helpless, he wants his partner to stop being manipulated. Bunny's whole arc is that he wants to stop having decisions made for him!!!! Kotetsu knows it!!

On the other hand, Barnaby jokes all the time that Kotetsu is old, calls him grampa, that he should retire, the complete dance. Yet, Barnaby has never seen Kotetsu as a father figure. Kotetsu is Bunny's hero partner, not his superior. Thanks to Kotetsu's respectful treatment, they're friends. Hell, Bunny treats Kotetsu like a man. He doesn't pity Kotetsu for having lost his wife. He doesn't treat Kotetsu any differently when he meets Kaede, Kotetsu's daughter. There are moments when you forget the age gap because the story focuses on them being equals!!! They can take care of each other, they can share their burdens, they talk it out if they are frustrated, they communicate with full responsibility, etc etc etc.

Normally I don't like big age gaps at all. It's more of a personal preference, since those dynamics make me uncomfortable.

Kotetsu and Barnaby are the exception and the standard. God bless the Tiger and Bunny creators.

* also it has some of the best treatments of a teen girl having a crush on an older man I've ever seen. It's nothing predatory 'cause Kotetsu completely respects Karina and never takes advantage of her, also completely healthy because Karina uses that to sort out her teenage conflicts and figure out how she wants to be treated, how she deserves to be treated, what he's looking for in a relationship, how older people should approach her, etc.

Kotetsu is a gentleman through and through. An absolute must watch if you want to learn how to write those types of characters and relationships.

[inbarfink]

I wanna go a bit full-circle with a post I did right after the first two episodes of ‘Fionna and Cake’ dropped - about the nature of Simon Petrikov’s sense of identity. And more specifically, with how his titular episode centered around the ways his deteriorating mental state and the new context of his life has really torn away at everything Simon used to define himself as. 

Because Simon Petrikov used to be a lot of things. He was an antiquarian and an archaeologist, a man deeply fascinated by the concept of Magic and the supernatural in a mundane world that ridiculed him for it at every turn, an adventurous outdoorsman, and a deeply caring and fatherly man.

But when we meet him at the start of “Simon Petrikov”, he has lost all the passion for his job - especially as he now has to perform it basically as a living museum exhibit. He is now stuck in a word filled with Magic and feels like the only mundane thing in it. He is unable to handle the sort of dangers you would find in an Oooian camping trip. And he made a little girl cry.

And there’s one more thing Simon used to define his identity as, and that is the one he ended up clinging to more than anything in that one episode, even though it was just as decimated as every other facet of his old identity, and the one that ends up jump-starting the plot. And that is being Betty Grof’s other half.

So now, looking back at this second episode at the end of the series, it really feels appropriate that throughout his adventures Simon managed to rediscover these old elements of his personality, that all these aspects of his identity managed to get reinforced and validated…

For most of the series he was basically doing his old job again - travelling around, trying to discover and uncover an ancient artifact.

And you can really see how he regains his excitement for research. 

And by the end of the show, he ends up really rediscovering a passion for his work (and also realized that this Living Museum Exhibit set-up is not conducive for his mental health, which is also a step in the right direction).

 

And he gets to show-off his understanding of Magic

And by the end of the show, Simon doesn’t feel like such an outsider in Ooo anymore. Probably helped by the fact his cellphone connection with Fionna gives him that little connection to 'normalcy' he was missing.

And he got to go on an adventure again, and handle it better than his Camping Trip Funtimes with Finn. Probably because he was around Adventure Novices Fionna and Cake, who were a bit closer to his ‘level’ than a crazy-seasoned adventurer like Finn

And by the end of the show, you can see him seeking thrills on his own terms.

And his ability be kind and fatherly and comforting was validated both by his constant interactions with Fionna - who isn’t a child, but is still a younger person who often needed his emotional support

And also by a very grim reminder of how truly important he was for Marcy.

And by the end of the show, he has managed to make a connection with Astrid, despite them starting out on such a sour note.

But 'Simon Petrikov, Betty Grof's beloved'? That aspect of himself did get some validation, via him getting to share their love story with Fionna

But it was not entirely validated, was it? That was the one aspect of himself that was actually challenged - the one part of himself was clinging to like a lifeline when he felt like he was falling apart, that was the one part of himself that he had to both recontextualize in his head and eventually realized he had to finally let go off…

[genderkoolaid]

Like many of us, discovering our escape is often how we uncover our true selves, as untouched and genuine as we could possibly be. For Silveira, it was no different. “In those worlds, I would always be a boy,” he says. “And I remember that being part of my story right from the get-go. I didn’t have friends when I was a kid, and if I did, I always played by myself. And my presentation was male. I was being a boy.” For some reason, this reminds me of one of the lyrics to ‘Not Your Boy’ as Silveira, with vocals as sultry and heartbreaking as ever, sings: “Everything’s profound / When you are on a cloud / Riddled by this crowd / That just can’t feel me / When the darkness disappears / The only thing inside that can see / Is in the lie that tells me / I’ve been dreaming / Am I dreaming?” [...] Finding your way through the maze of identity is challenging enough, but doing it in the public eye adds another level of complexity. This was particularly true for Silveira, who already had a well-established audience with fixed ideas about who he was at the time. “When I started transitioning physically, I lost a very diehard and loyal audience of mainly cis-gendered females, and it was this double impact that it had on me, which was, ‘Oh, I knew that nobody was seeing me as being a real man. Because even though I was identifying as Lucas, and as he/him, my presentation to them was still seen as being a cis-gendered female.'” Continuing, Silveira adds: “I even had lesbians call me ‘she’, and I’d be like, ‘it’s actually ‘he”. So, it was really not ever taken seriously. So, what ended up happening was not only the fallout of me, but it was the understanding that I’d never been very validated in that aspect. It was the loss of my family. And it was pretty heartbreaking.” However, despite finding facets of supporters in certain places, even the most seemingly accepting parts of the music industry didn’t feel very safe. “I went from being out very privately to all of a sudden being a signed band and being on tours with Cyndi Lauper, The B-52’s, and Joan Jett, and people were talking about my trans-ness and asking me all these questions, and I was just getting to know myself.” “That didn’t go so well with a lot of trans folks,” he continues. “At the time, there was no non-binary movement, so what ended up happening was I also got flack from the trans community for not being a real man. And I wasn’t a real trans person because if I was, I would have chosen hormones and my presentation and my transition physically over my music career.”

Also, here's an article where he interviews Laura Jane Grace

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

So with some of the takes I've been seeing in the Wandee Goodday tag, I wanted to share my perspective.

Just to note - I firmly believe art is subjective and what we see can vary a great deal based on our own perspectives and lived experiences. I'm not calling anyone wrong, I'm just saying this is my personal take on things. (I feel like this should be obvious, but nuance is so often lost online).

And my main goal with watching QL is fun and escapism. I'm here to have a good time. I tend to go with the flow, I like imperfect characters (I even like the fucked-up ones), and I trust the characterization and plot elements to be doing what they need to do until a problem shows within the narrative itself.

Ok, disclaimers done - here's my take on Dee & Yak's interactions around the fake dating idea.

I think all of their interactions are deeply affected by the degree to which they have already developed genuine feelings for each other, but are not yet in a place to admit it, even to themselves.

Do I think Yak has real concerns about being out as a boxer trying to hit a career high? Absolutely. But I think his quick jump to a "let's end this" reaction was mostly a kneejerk attempt to protect himself for what he felt when Dee, the man he is already emotionally connected to, and desperately wants to be able to kiss, dropped a request for fake dating over a real deepening of their relationship.

We don't yet know the level of societal homophobia this show is aiming for, BL land can go many different ways with this, but considering his brother's openness in the gym that he owns, training boxers, there is a tone being set. Yak literally holds hands with Dee in the middle of the street. He doesn't panic when people recognize him at the hospital. This may change, but I'm going to trust the signposts that his career concerns are valid, yes, but are not the dominant issue between them.

Similarly, is Dee competitive and overly focused on winning? Clearly. It's set up in his earlier conversation with Yak for a reason. But at the same time, his insistence that it has to be Yak is not just about his need to win - again, this is about genuine feeling. He wants Yak. This is a way to get Yak, and to frame it to himself in a way that feels less scary and vulnerable, especially after being hurt by Ter.

I know a lot of people saw Dee as being pushy. I do agree with that, and yes it is going to cause more issues for them in the future. But I wish more people also saw Yak holding firm to his boundaries and refusing to give in to the immature behavior from Dee, showing why he's such a good partner for Dee.

And sure, we haven't seen Dee support Yak as much so far, but the scene with the mother and child wasn't there just for kicks. Dee is empathetic and caring, and that will be important in his relationship with Yak as well. He is there for people when things are at their worst.

Some people see Dee on the bridge as being manipulative.

I saw Dee as finally cutting out the toddler shit and being emotionally real about why he's taking the scholarship too seriously, how sensitive he is to what people think of him, why Yak is someone he trusts implicitly, and how he knows it's not Yak's problem and it isn't fair to expect him to fix it.

Some people see Yak as finally agreeing to fake date as showing he is weak to emotional manipulation.

I see a man who has more agency than that. I see a man who is affected by seeing genuine vulnerability both because of how caring he is as an individual, and because of how much he wants a real emotional connection to Dee. And eyes-open, he makes a choice.

These are two characters who have never just been friends with benefits from the beginning. And the narrative has never been about what they are saying. It's about what they are feeling.

[2soulscollide]

tips to level up your writing skills

1. read, read, read

okay, I know, everyone keeps saying it... but it's true, and I truly believe the more you read, the better you write, because you come across different writing styles, different voices, new characters, and worlds. This applies to every writer, from amateur to professional.

2. practice makes perfect

another cliché, right.

but hear me out: I feel so much more confident about my writing skills when I write daily, rather than when I write a bit occasionally. you get lots of work done, see your book coming to life, and get better at it.

3. create an outline before you start writing

guysss, I know many people like to go with the flow, but I would recommend planning your novel before writing it, especially if it is one of your first projects.

when I started, I refused to plot my novel because I thought it was a waste of time, and I couldn't plan it all ahead. turns out that I could never finish my novels, because I started to get lost in the plot. as most of you may know, I LOVEEE to plot now!

4. use active voice instead of passive voice

passive voice is alright sometimes. I like to use it, too. but to create an immersive experience for the reader, you should go for the active voice since it creates more impact.

see something like this:

"the letter was written by Marcus who had tears in his eyes." VS "Marcus wrote the letter with tears in his eyes."

such a basic example (don't judge me!!)... but can you notice the difference? it seems so much more expressive.

5. avoid using overly complex language

repeat it after me: short. sentences. are. valid.

don't overcomplicate it! I know it's tempting to write huge sentences sometimes and make your book seem more complex and professional, but sometimes it just doesn't come out as expected, and we end up exhausting our readers.

6. don't just for yourself

this can be a polemic topic. it's quite common to see people saying you should write for yourself, but let's be honest here: if you're trying to get your book published, you should have your target public in mind while developing your book. knowing your audience to know what works and what doesn't work is extremely important. but hey, you must also enjoy what you're writing!

7. use dialogue!!!

I find dialogue so important, and I love it so much! ensure you develop a distinctive voice for your characters to make them seem real to the reader. also, if possible, read the dialogue out loud and imagine if it would work out in real life.

8. don't be afraid to use metaphors

metaphors will turn a "basic" work into something more sophisticated when applied in the right places. you might want to avoid overusing it because it can ruin the experience, but it's something up to you, and what feels better to you.

9. research your topic before writing

okay, this is pretty self-explanatory. if you're writing about a topic or a location you don't know much about, avoid making assumptions or clichés. instead, do some research, take notes, or even ask chatgpt questions to help you.

10. don't be afraid to experiment and try new things

I was a fanfiction writer for a long time and was so scared to try original fiction because it seemed so much different from what I was accustomed to doing. however, once I decided to try something new, I discovered I liked to do it more than fanfiction. you'll never know until you try it!

11. never give up on your writing, keep practicing and learning to improve your skills

it takes time to acquire new skills, so if you're new to writing, please don't give up! It's fun and a long path, and I promise you'll love it, even more, the more you write!

I hope this was helpful! <3 have a nice day

also, i just released a new freebie!!! it's a free workbook for writers with over 90 pages to guide you through the process of plotting a novel. you might be interested in checking it out!! :D click here

[sphireath-wisp]

#You and Me - Always Forever

Sypnosis: What was one of the moments that made them decide they wanted to marry you and vice versa?

Warnings: Might fall in love with the reader, no actual proposals (just the moments that spark that thought, that feeling that you'd want to spend a lifetime with that person), not proofread, messy interchanging grammar

Note: Bachira and Rin version is coming up soon!!

Featuring: Seishiro Nagi, Yoichi Isagi x GN! Reader

Seishiro Nagi - What made him want to marry you?

"Still can't get past that level?" You settle down next to him on the soft mattress of your bed. He whines - a 'yes' in his dictionary - and tugs on the hem of your shirt to pull you closer. The pillow originally cuddled nicely on his lap is replaced by you, you were softer than any lame pillow anyway.

His arms are wrapped comfortably around your waist whilst his hands are occupied by his phone - otherwise, he would've had his hands all over you. Nagi's head relaxes on your shoulder, fingers brushing your hair aside. You hear the tapping of his thumbs against the screen progressively get louder with the occasional soft grunts and sighs of frustration.

You chuckle, "Nagi, I'm meeting up with an old friend soon, let me go." You notice his grip on his phone tightens. Instead of listening to you, he does the opposite, holding you even closer. You huff. It always boiled down to this when it came to leaving his side - you would tell him your very valid reason for leaving, he would pout and cry, and you would have to resort to emergency measures.

Pressing a delicate kiss on his cheek, you quickly worm your way out of his arms when he isn't focused. "I'll be back later!" or so you exclaimed, creaking the door shut behind you. By the time Nagi has registered your exit, he realizes he lost in his game - you now owe him a good 30 minutes of your undivided attention and, for good measure, 10 kisses.

The night after you left was a complete blur, he was whining and complaining to Reo for who knows how long, but you never showed up. Whenever he did make the effort to drag his feet out of the bedroom, he saw you happily chatting with your friend - "I'll wait a little longer," he would mumble, not wanting to disturb your little reunion.

Before he realized it, it was already the following morning, your body hurled up to his. "I don't remember getting in bed," Nagi mutters, voice lowered into a whisper so as to not disturb your sleep. He thinks it's a bit strange - you had recently been having trouble sleeping and he always made sure you got into bed before he did... perhaps he just forgot after all.

"Ah, right." He slowly stands up, making his way to his computer as he begins to recollect the events of last night. From the little bits of last night that he could recall, he remembers calling Reo on his computer (ahem, Discord).

Much to his surprise, Reo had sent him... quite a long video that he recorded from last night. From the thumbnail, Nagi noted that Reo had screen-recorded the call he was on with Nagi.

He plops back down on the bed, wanting to be close to you as he sits through this - hopefully - entertaining video.

"(Name) left," That monotone voice, familiar white and fluffy hair - it was him in the video. "They owe me 30 minutes and 10 kisses." Nagi hears a familiar chuckle from the video as Reo begins.

"Ah, how sad. First, you can't beat that level and now your dearest (Name) isn't paying attention to you, I almost feel bad for you." Reo teases and Nagi pouts as he watches the video, perfectly mirroring the expression he wore last night.

"It's okay... I can wait."

"Stop lying to yourself, Nagi." Reo takes notice of Nagi's newfound restlessness.

"I hope (Name)..." Nagi yawns before continuing, "...hope they come back soon." He lays his arms down on the table, head resting on his right bicep whilst fidgeting with his phone. "This game's rigged."

"Lost again?" Reo chuckles. "Don't worry, I'll make sure to send (Name) all of your complaints. They'll be sure to shower you in kisses the next morning."

"Thanks, Reo, you're the best." Nagi corrects himself after pausing. "Second-best."

"Ouch, even I can't beat (Name)."

The video had dragged on with small tidbits of funny moments to keep Nagi watching, but it was mainly a compilation of him grumbling. However, it started getting interesting halfway through.

"Right, Nagi?" The silence is loud except for the sound of gunshots - likely from the game. "Nagi?" Reo repeats with a concerned expression on his face. He connects the dots. Nagi had fallen asleep. "Pfft," He bites his lip to hold back his laughter, chest bubbling.

"Alright then, night-" Just as Reo was about to end the call, he heard the door open while calling out Nagi's name. "Oh," As if you were duplicating Reo, you refrained from laughing too much and pressed a kiss on his forehead.

Reo turns off his camera, observing you with bated breath. "Did he really wait for me?" You scratch the back of your neck, helping him sit upright in the chair before somehow dragging his 190cm body to bed. It was a smart choice for Reo to mute himself, you would have heard him bursting out laughing otherwise.

"Sweet dreams, love." You couldn't help but be generous tonight, giving Nagi's cheek a soft kiss. Rubbing your eyes, you were about to grab his phone from the table before stopping mid-action.

"...This game has a saving function, right?" You conveniently take a seat right in front of the computer, a perfect view of that puzzled expression plastered on your face. "Where would it be? Wait, shit, I didn't mean to start a round."

You purse your lips, eyebrows furrowing as you randomly press buttons. You genuinely looked distressed, aware that he'd be upset if he lost progress. Multiple sighs of frustration escaped you, completely lost. But, despite your frustration, you would rather sit there and struggle than see Nagi disheartened the next day.

Eventually, you pull out your own phone with your other hand and presumably search for how to save the game. "Ohh, okay, I think I get it."

Eyes locked onto Nagi's phone, you breathed a sigh of relief when you finally figured it out. "Okay then, phew... Better save multiple times." You stood up and tiptoed your way to bed, hearing one last giggle from you before the video ended.

Nagi's left stunned - he doesn't know what to say. His parted lips slowly curve into a smile, one hand cupping your cheek. Careful not to wake you from your slumber, he lays back down in bed, gaze melting. His thumb gently grazes your lips, hand traveling to your hair before pulling you closer to him.

"...You still owe me those kisses." He buries his face into your shoulder, a content sigh leaving him.

You - What made you want to marry him?

You have... low expectations when it comes to Nagi. He's a minimal-effort type of guy. Because of the little motivation he had, because of how painfully forgetful he could be, he did everything in the little power he had to remember the little things about you.

Your birthday is his password, your favorite candy and flower is his home screen so he'll always remember to get you something special on his way home from practice, and your oh-so enchanting picture on his lock screen. He's enamored, absolutely smitten when it comes to you - perhaps that's why he asked you this.

"(Name), why do people get married? Documents... preparing for it... isn't a hassle?" Nagi snuggles his cheek against your thigh, rolling his body to lie on his back at looking up at you and the tree you both were relaxing under. Your soft chuckles escalate to loud bursts of laughter, gently pinching his cheek.

"Nagi, honey," You notice a slight smile when you call him honey, "it's for love."

You see Nagi scratch his head, fingers running through his messy white locks. "We love each other, so why aren't we married?"

"People who get married want to take their relationship a step further, move on from just boyfriend and girlfriend. You know what I mean?"

Nagi definitely did not get it. "What's the point in that?"

You purse your lips in thought, gaze shifting upwards as you stare at the sky. "It's saying that you're willing to dedicate everything to them. Spend your time with them until you both are old, promise to never leave their side, and build your future with them." Dipping your chin, you let go of his cheek and target his ear this time. "It's nothing small or pointless."

Nagi thinks for a moment and you assume he finally understood. It certainly did give you a good shock and laugh when he asked such a question, you were almost worried he was crazy enough to ask you to marry him.

"I wanna spend the rest of my life with you... Can we get married?"

Perhaps you spoke too soon. Blush spreads across your cheeks and progresses to the tip of your ears. Clearing your throat and looking elsewhere, you speak, "Nagi... not so soon."

"So when?"

"When we're older."

"How old?" Damn, he was really determined.

"When both of us are ready, to move in together, to wake up and sleep next to each other every single day."

"...Are you not ready?" Gray doe eyes stare at you, eyebrows furrowing slightly. He speaks as if he was completely serious and ready, his mind set on spending the rest of his years with you.

As much as you didn't want to disappoint him, you needed to be truthful. Your eyes met his. "No, I'm not ready, not yet."

"Okay..." Just as you expected, he sighed and backed down for a moment. Your heart ached a little seeing his reaction, but you didn't have time to say anything before he returned to his previous insistence. "What ring would you want?"

"Nagi! I told you I'm not ready. There's no need to rush." Honestly speaking, you found it a teeny bit cute, but it'd be plain impulsive to rush into marriage.

"Just tell me."

You place a hand on your chin, humming as you think about it. You weren't exactly prepared to answer such a question, so the first thing that came to your mind spilled out of your mouth like word vomit."...A diamond ring?"

"Okay." Nagi pulls out his phone, changing his lock screen to a diamond ring - Was he really serious about this? His hand holds yours, fingers caressing your ring finger specifically. "I'll wait for as long as you want me to."

You recognized that look in his eye anywhere. You had seen it when he played soccer and scored an unbelievable goal so many times. Nagi had already decided and, because you knew him so well, you were aware you couldn't stop him.

Your mouth opens at first to retort and, hopefully, knock some sense into him. However, you hold your tongue when he closes his eyes. "Sleepy, already?"

"Mmhm, you're the best pillow I could ever ask for."

"Is that why you want to marry me?" You scoff and shake your head - a big contrast to that warm smile spreading on your face.

"It's a good bonus."

Well, you could always chide him another time. You'll have all the time in the world when you're sleeping in the same bed with him and wishing him a good night or when you're celebrating anniversaries together. You'll have more than enough time after you marry him.

Yoichi Isagi - What made him want to marry you?

You take hold of Isagi's wrist, preventing him from knocking on the door of his parent's home. "Wait wait wait, I'm not ready." You take deep breaths in a poor attempt to calm down, blaming the wind for making you shiver uncontrollably when Isagi questions you - even though it wasn't even cold that night.

"Ahhh," You let go of Isagi's wrist and pace back and forth in front of the doorstep. You scratch your head, messing up the hairdo you spent so long trying to perfect at home. "What if your parents don't like me? What if they don't approve? What will happen to us?"

Isagi grabs your hand firmly, stopping you from mindlessly circling around the doorstep. He runs his fingers through your hair, taming any loose strands of hair and brushing through the tangles. "Don't worry," he squeezes your hand, "I'm here for you."

"Plus, why wouldn't they like you?" You feel a thumb caress the knuckles of your hand. "I'm sure they'll love you. Come on, let's knock on the door together."

"Not to mention, we shouldn't stay out here that long. I don't want you catching a cold in this weather." Isagi plays along with your lame excuse, neither teasing nor making fun of you for it.

Isagi was so, so sure he'd be the one reassuring you the whole night, holding your hand under the table, finishing your sentences when you stumble on your words - he was prepared and ready to be your knight in shining armor. But, why has the table turned a whole 180 degrees on him? He's the one blushing profusely, sweat clinging to his forehead as he hears his mother's question.

"Would you like to see Isagi's baby pictures?" The question was repeating in his head like a broken record, a bad dream he couldn't escape by pinching himself awake. What turned this bad dream into a full-on nightmare was when you nodded without a single atom of hesitation. Despite how much he tugged on your sleeve, you continued to smile oh-so innocently.

"Alright, let me go get them." Isagi's mother slowly stands up and you rush to her side, pulling her chair behind and helping her up. "Take your time," you remind her softly, letting go of her arms when you are sure she can stand on her own two feet. Isagi widens his eyes when he sees how patient you are with his mother.

How sly of you, trying to make him forget about his baby pictures that you happily - on the verge of eagerly - agreed to see.

"Babe!" Isagi hisses at you through clenched teeth once you sit back down next to him, his cheeks flushed. "What? You already saw my baby pictures. I think I deserve to see yours." You had begun to get comfortable around his parents and that distraught version of you that he witnessed just a while ago vanished into thin air.

"Ah, there it is!" Isagi's mother returns to the table, a dusty book in her hand. She opens its pages, revealing pictures of Isagi in his formative years inside.

"This is when he first entered kindergarten," You nod while his mother points, unable to hold back your giggles of delight. Isagi's hand almost crumples the pages of the book as he hurriedly flips to the next page.

"Oh! This is when you won your first spelling bee." Isagi's mother hums. "You were so proud of yourself back then."

"Awh, is this when he took his first steps?" You begin to join in the teasing, shifting your chair closer to his mom's.

"Mhm, isn't he cute?"

"Oh, oh! Are these his class photos?"

"He's building a sandcastle in the picture, we were at the beach that day."

Isagi could barely hear the full conversation, his mind going blank at some parts.

At this point, you could feel the steam escaping Isagi as he heats up beyond his melting point. He places one hand on your thigh, burying his face into your shoulder in absolute embarrassment. This conversation would actually make him evaporate.

You pat his head, comforting him. "Ma'am, I think we could continue this another time. Isagi needs some time to cool off." You rub circles on his back with your palm, hearing a relieved sigh escape him.

Man, you really know how to read him.

You - What made you want to marry him?

Recently, you noticed your beloved boyfriend develop a new habit. Whenever you sleep over at his house, which has been happening more often because of a pair project you both have together (that requires a ridiculous amount of discussion and cooperation), you have recently begun taking mental note of his little habits.

One of the most noteworthy examples is the fact that he has this notebook that he wrote in once in a while. Sometimes, he would write in it multiple times a day. Other times, he wouldn't write in it for a full day and maybe even leave it to collect dust for the following day as well.

In the beginning, you made the assumption that it was just a journal to rant or perhaps a diary. However, the fact that he doesn't write in it every day proves your diary theory wrong. So, you went with the former - even he would have things he needs to get off his chest.

...did he not trust you enough to confide in you? He knows you're there for him, right? Is he going through something?

It made you sickly worried, but what could you do? It would be just plain rude to go through his notebook. No matter how much you wanted to confirm it for yourself, no matter how much your curiosity killed you over and over again when you caught sight of the wind flipping the book open, you did not want to and did not have the right to invade his privacy.

That night, he sat by his desk and twirled the pen in his hand, biting the end of the pen occasionally. Tapping his shoulder at a safe distance to alert him, you observe him as he turns his head to you.

That comically soft gaze of his alone almost made you forget your words, your train of thought coming to a sudden halt. You clear your throat, "What are you writing?" Your glances alternate between him, the room, and the book (though you tried avoiding looking at the book for too long).

To your surprise, he didn't immediately shut the book, dragging another chair next to him for you. Isagi openly shows it to you, "Do you want any cats in the future? Dogs? Pets in general?" He nods when you respond, writing down your reply in the notebook.

You analyze the pages silently, at a loss of words when you really absorbed what he was writing. From your allergies to what you didn't like in food, from what he had in common with you to activities you both enjoyed, it was sweet and insane at the same time.

You couldn't believe you were just overthinking a while ago. Relief washed over you.

"Should we have a cactus, like Nagi does? Should we name the cactus too?" Isagi laughs and you follow suit, concurring with the idea.

Isagi was almost the optimistic type, looking forward to the future. It was adorable seeing him plan so much in advance. It conveyed to you how excited he was to be with you, how euphoric it sounded to spend the time he had now and the time he would have in the future with you - and he wasn't alone, you felt the exact same way.

Even though both of you knew how life could be, life never goes according to plan no matter how much you try to make it, it didn't matter. The both of you will figure things out together, just like you've always done.

"Isagi, why are you writing all of this down?"

"Okay, I know that this will sound cheesy but-" Isagi places his hand on yours, interlocking fingers with you. "It's my promise to you."

"Promise?" You blink.

"It's physical proof that I mean it when I say I'll always be with you. I'm not here for the short term, I'm going to build a life with you, (Name)." Oh no, he's left you breathless again.

"That is cheesy."

"Right?"

"But, it's just like you." You kiss his cheek. "I wouldn't change anything about you.

[finisnihil]

Some people need to learn the difference between like/disliking a character on a personal level v. a writing level. I dislike some characters on a personal level but I do love their writing and characterization on a meta level and any of my bullying of them is mostly for jokes. Meanwhile there's also characters who I adore on a personal level but abhor the writing of because it feels like their concepts or potential as a character were squandered.

I've said it before i'll say it again when you let your personal bias on a character infect your analysis of them you get mischaracterization. Part of media literacy is seperating authoral intention from reader response and thinking about if anything about the character or their interactions can cloud your judgement of them on a surface level.

For example, in the 2.1 quest of HSR I saw some Aventurine lovers absolutely jump on a hate train for Sunday because in their eyes, Sunday was villainous for his actions against Aventurine and deserved to be put down for it. But, when you stop bastardizing Sunday in an effort to validate and sanitize Aventurine's motives you see the two are actually equally complicit in hurting the other. Sunday did try to turn Ratio against Aventurine and he did cast the whole Truth or Die spell but when you actually critically analyze Sunday and his role in the interaction he is more sympathetic and he makes more sense.

Aventurine was going into the interaction, an interaction regarding the IPC's increasingly aggressive attempts to recolonize Penacony after losing it as a prison planet, bragging about using the horrific murder of Sunday's sister to exploit him. Aventurine has never once hid his intentions, he's sympathetic but that doesn't change the fact he's trying to rip Penacony's freedom away for the IPC. We've seen what the IPC does to planets, no matter how corrupt the Family is, the IPC will be worse without a doubt. Aventurine is a morally grey character, he took the gamble of lying under the spell and he understood the stakes when he did it. Trying to bastardize Sunday in order to try and act like Aventurine didn’t have the autonomy to fuck around and find out is really disingenuous to both characters.

As for Sunday, Sunday is incredibly sympathetic too. We know he’s under crushing pressure by everyone around him to hide things for the sake of public image and we know he’s sacrificed a ton for his sister. Sunday is reverential of Xipe but we see him being actively wary of the Family. He knows there’s a traitor, he knows the Family is rotting with ill intent, he knows Death is on the loose. Robin and him are doing their damndest to handle these problems within their circumstances and we’ve seen their notes! They aren’t ignoring the problem, they’re even trying to get outside help from both the Astral Express and Aventurine. We see the Lightcone of their childhood in an otherwise clinical and impersonal office, one where he built her a toy stage and became her first audience. He cares about Robin more than anything and you see his rage and grief being suppressed yet slipping here and there and causing him to make sloppy mistakes, such as using the Truth or Die spell to lash out at Aventurine when he feels cornered with no control over the situation. When he confronts Gallagher he finally cracks and just… breaks. You see him lose it to the point he doesn’t even notice Death behind him until it’s too late. Despite being likened to songbirds, Robin and Sunday both died quietly in their gilded cages. They are the canaries in the coal mine.

Sunday and Aventurine are meant to parallel each other, they both lost their sister in a gruesome event outside of their control because they couldn’t protect her. Sunday couldn’t protect her from the cage he let himself be trapped in so she could fly free and Aventurine couldn’t protect her because he was too small and too young and too lucky. One is a younger brother and one is an elder brother.

The only major difference between them is who we experience the story through. Aventurine is our eyes for most of 2.1 so therefore Sunday is the one put in the antagonistic role. Antagonists are characters who’s motives and goals oppose the protagonists. Because of this, we have to flesh out Sunday’s character via subtext because we don’t have the luxury of his POV to be blatant like with Aventurine. If the roles reversed, if Sunday was our eyes, I bet Aventurine would be the one getting the flack instead.

[messiahzzz]

the IGN article has already been addressed by several users, but imo the points of critique raised by others were still often misinterpreted, or ignored entirely.

— so i’d like to talk about it.

beforehand, it is important to mention that it remains everyone’s respective responsibility to curate their own online experience. you shouldn’t purposefully expose yourself to topics that cause you distress or trigger you. however, general discussion should always be valid and welcomed. you have every right to voice your opinion on the matter and to be upset about this. please don’t feel guilty about venting and expressing your emotional response.

we also need to differentiate this specific interview from the fandom’s overall treatment and interpretation of gale. several of the posts i’ve seen on the subject tend to derail into the latter, without addressing the valid points many have raised or glossing over them entirely. this isn’t about the usual “haha gale eats shoes” joke or whatever new meme fandom comes up with. this is solely about the developer’s treatment of gale, the character, and about a specific, internal bias that has been prevalent throughout the entirety of the game, as well as their social media. this particular interview merely adding to the amalgamation of points mentioned.

yes, it is certainly unrealistic to expect larian to address every single companion in detail and to touch on every nuance possible, in an interview that broadly focuses on the game’s narrative and gameplay. there are, however, specific character sections. each companion received a headline that was reflective of their overall character archetype or provided quick insight into their development.

Karlach: 'The Labrador of the Party'

Lae'zel: 'She's So Young'

Halsin: 'A Creative Risk'

Shadowheart: 'The Jason Bourne'

Wyll: 'We Lost a Little Bit of Narrative Room'

Astarion: 'Much of What He Does Is Out of Fear'

Minthara: 'It's Not a Redemption Arc...But She's Got a Lot of Love'

and last but not least:

Gale: 'The Guy Who Starts Off Annoying Everyone'

what followed was a brief discussion about their respective storylines, each being addressed with a certain level of respect, empathy, and consideration. except for gale. all that was mentioned in regard to his character was the narrative impact of gale’s suicide. talking about the overall logistics of this ending, the visuals of the cutscene, and how, to them, his sacrifice felt like the right ending and how in many ways, it is.

Chrystal Ding, Lead Writer: On a very human level, you have the guy who starts off annoying everyone, he's constantly asking you to give him your most treasured possessions to eat, otherwise he's in trouble, and at the end, he gives himself for the world. Sven Vincke, Founder: And he had the choice already once before where he wasn't ready for it. So it's a very powerful ending, and it comes in different permutations.

gale is the character who is initially annoying companions and players alike. he is verbose, enthusiastic and has a tendency to break out in long-winded rants. he repeatedly asks for your assistance, to help him manage his condition. to spare himself and his surroundings from an untimely, explosive death, he must consume items that you’ve carefully collected. gale is, essentially, a liability. a ticking time bomb. he already had the option to have his life be a meaningful sacrifice, but he wasn’t ready to die yet. now, that the party has reached the end, he has another chance to give himself up for the world.

short after, gale’s section of the interview quickly diverts into a more general discussion about the difficulties of playing as a wizard and other classes.

larian claiming that there is a universal “right ending” in a game with many branching paths and choices very much contradicts the definition of a role-playing game. where it is solely in the player’s hands to decide what direction to take and what outcome they deem to be the right one. moreover, it is important to remember that the interviewees weren’t just any developers, but consisted of two lead writers and larian’s founder himself. some of them industry veterans who are, to an extent, pr-trained. we all know that fandom often sees statements from developers synonymous with word of god. as such, the implications and impact are truly unfortunate.

if larian was referring the SA survivor and stated that “the right ending” for him was to return him to enslavement or to hand him over to the gur. that for all the death and misery he (involuntarily) assisted, his sacrifice would at least grand them a slither of justice.

astarion caused death, perpetuated racism, and now that you have handed him over to the gur hunter, he is offered a chance to give himself back to the world.

it is then deemed the right choice for him because it is the most narratively satisfying/impactful/powerful outcome in the context of the overall story. the majority of us would agree that such would be a rather tactless statement, no? not specifically for mentioning it in relation to astarion as a character or his influence on the narrative — he is fictional, after all, but because of the real-life implications and the very real stigma the affected face. we can't deny that it would be hurtful to irl victims. maybe we would even fault the writing altogether for such biases. after all, why should astarion be the only character whose redemption and healing are considered to be significantly less important in the grand scheme of things?

fiction functions as an abstraction and simulation of our social experience. we are supposed to get invested, to explore the meaning, examine the parallels, or maybe just to enjoy stories for the sole purpose of indulging in the occasional escapism. perhaps a way to temporarily forget about one’s limitations and the prejudices we face. in many ways, chronic pain/impairment, suicidal ideation, and autistic traits appear to be disorders & symptoms that are perhaps less relatable to some, and that they are maybe not as sympathetic to.

it truly would’ve been nice to see larian approach this interview with more professionalism. opting for a simple, diplomatic “actually, there is no right ending. the sheer variation in choices makes such a distinction impossible” would’ve more than sufficed.

this isn’t asking for larian to touch on every nuance possible, in an interview that largely resembled the flow of a regular conversation. it’s about asking for the same level of consideration and care that was granted to the rest of the companions. it’s about addressing gale’s particular brand of trauma with the same level of basic human decency. maybe we even could’ve received some new bits and pieces of insight on gale’s development, rather than the regurgitation of every shallow reddit/tiktok take we’ve seen up to this point. alas..

[transmascposi]

I feel really isolated because I hardly see any trans masculine positivity posts,,,, The only posts I see,, that are even shared by my own friends,,, are those that are complaining about trans mascs and how we're evil, ugly, and ruining the trans community,,,, I don't know what I did wrong besides simply exist as a trans masculine person,,, I still face misogyny and now I'm facing transphobia from my own friends,,, I even had to block somebody who said 'I have never found trans males to be sexually attractive' and instead of people telling them that's transphobic everyone was agreeing with them,,, I don't know where to turn anymore because everyone hates trans men so badly,,,, plus it's interesting that ppl will say how much they hate trans men but then fetishize our bodies,,,

I feel you. It's so lonely and difficult sometimes. It can feel like the whole world hates you. But I promise it's not like that. There's a lot of people who love us, really.

I'm sorry this is happening to you. You didn't do anything wrong. And even if you did, it wouldn't justify this treatment. You are valid and amazing and you bring so much beauty to the world and to the queer community. I had to cut off a few internet friends who hated on trans men and I don't regret it one bit. If they hate trans masculine people, I suggest cutting these people off. They are not good friends to you.

My advice is to try to spend less time online. The hate is much more concentrated here, and it's much more openly vicious. We certainly do have bad things happening to us in real life, but from my experience at least, the hate online is on another level. There are encounters that we can't really prevent in real life, but you can control the majority of your interactions online. I suggest avoiding the hate as much as you can, even if it means not spending time on your favorite platform. It can seem like I'm stating the obvious and I probably am, but at the same time, when I struggled a lot with online hate on trans mascs, I would keep spending time in trans masc spaces on tumblr that are full of this hate. I think we have the tendency to dwell in the hate, for whatever reason. To reblog it to argue with it, to keep repeating the same points to people who don't care about the truth, to try to counter the lie that trans mascs have it easy by witnessing the hate as a getcha. I'm not saying that you do this necessarily, but I definitely did it.

My second advice is to go out and meet people who understand and support you. A wonderful way to do that is activism. If you can, join your local trans activist group! You don't have to have inspiring speeches on big podiums and argue with people. You can help with small practical tasks — those people are very much needed and appreciated! Or you can find your local queer events and go there. It can be intimidating at first, especially if you go alone, but there's always someone a little bit lost at these events. People get it. Again, it definitely can be very difficult, but try to talk to some trans people there. Or anyone, really. You will find out that there's a lot of people who support and get us. And people who might not fully understand yet, but they want to try and they want to help. Even these imperfect encounters will warm your heart enough to forget a little about all the hate, even just for a moment. And being in activist circles and hearing people say your exact thoughts out loud — oh man it's SO satisfying. These people don't even have to be your friends. I'm trying to be an activist and there are people who I have fun with and who give me a sense of community — yet I don't meet them outside of activism stuff because I know we aren't a good match to be friends. And yet, their existence in my life brings me a lot of warmth. Building community is the key, really.

I wish you the best of luck and strength and I hope you will feel better soon.

[queenvhagar]

https://www.tvinsider.com/1146698/house-of-the-dragon-season-2-finale-ending-explained-rhaenyra-alicent/?srsltid=AfmBOoqdQdIbMFTMUBy1NeTmKjtwi291Uj-QHYNCpct-Y5TGxCxK_Ypp

“Alicent is left with nothing and without the person she wants with her most”... Can we FINALLY stop pretending that Alicent’s main reason for doing what she did is to protect Helaena ?

Congrats Rhaenicent stans, Alicent officially became a Satellite Love Interest. The only real characterization that she receives is the fact that she’s obsessed with her former childhood friend and her ONLY desire is to be with her. Literally no action, thought or monologue in the series is in no way not connected, even a little, to please and/or become more intimate with Rhaenyra.

Unfortunately House of the Dragon perpetuates more than one harmful trope when it comes to writing women on the show. Some characters like Alicent now, following the finale and the abandonment of her family, and even Baela, who is in the majority of her scenes this season shown in interactions with her love interest (the Moondancer chase and Corlys scene the exceptions), seem to dance dangerously close to the Satellite Love Interest trope:

A key passage that I found really connects this to these characters: "The test, of course, is to ask, "What does this person do when they're not being a love interest?" If it's hard to answer, you probably have this.

Both Alicent and Baela are written around their love interests. All of Alicent's motivations come back to Rhaenyra. Despite her being in the Sept, she lets her go. She advocates for inaction when it comes to action in the war with Rhaenyra. She isolates from her family and eventually abandons them to reunite with Rhaenyra and seek her forgiveness. Any realistic characterization or motivation she could have had as an independent character in this specific context are lost in favor of her being the (former) love interest. As for Baela, many of her scenes are with Jace talking about his struggles or interests. Even in one of the first scenes she has following the death of Rhaenys, the woman who raised her, Baela comforts Jace for something he is going through and not vice versa. She isn't shown to grieve her grandmother, but to support Jace's feelings of inadequacy and inaction. In other scenes, she's asking him about his family or admonishing him for being upset about a valid concern of his, but there is little that Baela is allowed to do or show outside of being Jace's love interest. Outside of loving Jace, who is Baela allowed to be?

All of this is connected to another classic trope that the show perpetuates:

The trope is summed up in this passage, and for those critical of House of the Dragon's characterization of men and women onscreen, this will sound all too familiar: "This trope is rooted in the female/male = passive/active dichotomy. Essentially, it's the idea men are expected to be out doing things, but women are expected to just sit there looking pretty, emotionally reacting to events, and avoiding actions."

In season 2, men drive the plot, and women react to it. However, the show attempts to be clever about their perpetuation of this trope by assigning value to the action. The men who act and drive the plot are violent, self-centered, and/or incompetent in doing so, while the women who react are level-headed, reasonable, and peace-loving. Nonetheless, this kind of writing does nothing but create a kind of gender essentialism that harms the characters by oversimplifying their motivations and limiting their characterization. The writers are simply reusing outdated, sexist tropes and attempting to present it to viewers as peak feminist storytelling, and it's a disservice to the audience, the actors, the production, and the original source material and its author, who actively challenged the idea of passive female characters by filling his stories with complex and ambitious women with competing motivations.

[frvnkcastles]

hi I love your writing!! let the days pass has gotten me through a lot. If you’re still taking requests, would you think about doing something for a reader with functional depression? Like can make it through a full day of work/school, seems fine when out and about… but then once she’s home she can’t get herself to eat, or clean, or reply to her friends’ texts or get out of bed on the weekend. And Frank just kind of soothing/supporting her through it and getting her out of bed and finding fun things to do together so she can’t just stay stuck in her little depression apartment and her terrible thoughts. No worries of this doesn’t spark anything for you; thank you so much!!!!

BREATHE ME BACK TO LIFE ➵ F. CASTLE

Summary: You’ve got a bad case of depression, and Frank does everything he can to help you through the difficult days.

Warnings: High-functioning depression, just a small nod towards suicide ideation, fluff, feminine nicknames

Word count: 2k

Author’s note: Thank you for the support!! I completely understand this struggle and it often makes me feel like a fraud and like my depression isn’t ”serious enough” and so many other people have it worse than me, but the reality is, everyone’s struggles are valid and no less important than someone else’s. Anon, I promise it can get better, don’t give up!! I know it can feel like an endless uphill for a long time, but hang onto the good days and know that you’ve got what it takes to get through the bad ones <3

When you first got to know Frank, you were careful about letting him in, simply because the effort of maintaining a relationship terrified you and you knew you wouldn’t be able to handle it. Not to mention, you were kind of embarrassed — revealing your struggle to keep up with chores and to take care of yourself hardly seemed like the way to sweep someone off of their feet. Then there was the fact that Frank seemed so put-together and diligent himself. He didn’t strike you as the type to judge other people, but you knew you couldn’t meet his military level of routine and tidiness, and it made you nervous to open up to him.

Little did you know, he knew depression all too well from personal experience. After losing his wife and kids, he had been shoved into a dark place and it had taken him a long time to dig himself out of there. He understood the lack of motivation to look after yourself or your home, and he, too, struggled with getting out of bed and staying in contact with people.

And that was exactly what he told you when you allowed him to get a glimpse of your reality.

”Hey, I feel ya, sweetheart. I’ve been there. It ain’t easy, that’s for fuckin’ sure, but you’re doin’ amazing”, he praised you, finding your perseverance admirable. ”It can be a real pain in the ass. I struggled for a long time, I won’t lie. Still do, some days. But it’s gotten better, even after I didn’t think it would”, he opened up, trying his very best to instill hope in you. It sort of worked, but it also made you feel guilty — if a man who had lost his entirely family could pull through, why were you having such a hard time? In fact, while you felt glad Frank hadn’t judged you for sharing with him, you felt even more embarrassed and like you were a burden, one he would regret getting involved with.

But he didn’t give up on you. He kept showing up for you, participating in your day as often as he could, whether that meant pushing you to watch a movie he heard so much about and thought you might like, or surprising you during work to take you out to lunch.

By weaving himself into your everyday life, he quickly realized your troubles with depression were more complex than he had initially realized. Whereas he had been completely devoid of energy and hope throughout the day and it had been obvious to everyone around him, you could mask it. He found it sort of impressive, actually, the way you managed to be efficient at work and the way you socialized, smiled and laughed on a night out. To an outsider, it wasn’t obvious that you were struggling, and while he felt fortunate to be in your inner circle, he also grew worried. He couldn’t imagine the toll it must have taken on you, to always put up a brave front and go about your day like nothing was going on.

So, he started visiting your apartment more.

”Have you eaten yet, sweetheart?” he probed gently while collecting various garbage from around the place, shoving it into a trash bag. You were grateful, but you were also entirely drained, the effort of the day catching up to you and leaving you paralyzed on the couch, buried under the heavy blanket.

”No. Didn’t feel like it”, you shrugged, much too casual about it for Frank’s liking. He finished filling up the bag and left it by your front door, making a mental note to take it with him before he stepped into the living room where you were. He crouched down in front of you, gingerly swiping your hair away from your face and eyeing you up with a mix of sympathy and worry. He knew it could be hard to accept help — he certainly had done a good job of pushing Curtis away, but he was determined to give you a hand, whether you liked it or not.

”I make a mean pasta. Would ya eat a lil bit f’me if I made you some?” he asked softly, his voice so patient and calm with you, and if you only had the energy for it, you probably would have teared up. You felt bad just watching Frank do all these things for you, but you suspected, correctly, that even if you told him to stop, he wouldn’t have.

”Sure”, you gave him a weak attempt at a smile. He mirrored it back at you, and leaned in to kiss your forehead before standing up and striding into the kitchen.

He rummaged through your cabinets and fridge, finding what he needed but not exactly pleased with the lack of food. ”I’mma take you grocery shoppin’ tomorrow, aight? We’ll get whatever you need, on me”, he called out from the kitchen, not really offering it as an option but a simple fact. He did that a lot, made promises that to him seemed obvious and like the bare minimum but that meant the world to you.

He made a habit of stopping by on weekends, especially. He knew those were the hardest for you — during weekdays, you had work to keep you busy and distracted, but during the weekend, you sank deep into your dark thoughts. He tried his best to be a lifeline, to keep you afloat, just because he knew what it was like to get stuck in that vicious cycle of hateful, ruminating thoughts and that gloomy mood that didn’t seem to loosen its grip. And he certainly didn’t want that for you.

”Hey, darlin’. How you feelin’ today?” he asked as he made his way into your bedroom on another Saturday, his gaze gentle and caring even when you felt like you looked horrible. You had meant to change your sheets and your PJs for the longest time, and your hair was unkempt in a way that made you feel insecure. But Frank was not bothered, at least not in the manner you expected him to. It unsettled him because he wanted to see you happy and thriving, but he wasn’t scared of a little mess.

You gave him a shrug from the midst of the covers where you had been mindlessly scrolling your phone, only for the damn device to make you feel horrible guilt about all the unanswered texts that seemed to keep piling on. Frank nodded in understanding and sat on the edge of the bed, next to your legs, and he thought about the right way to get you out of that hole. He knew he could be pushy sometimes, but it originated from a place of love, and most times, you responded well. Coddling wasn’t going to help, he knew that, so sometimes he took a firmer approach, but the affection never left his tone or eyes.

”C’mere, sweetheart. Thought I’d take you out for a walk. That okay?” he suggested, and as much as you wanted to agree to his idea, you didn’t think you had it in you.

”I dunno, Frankie…”, you trailed off, and reaching for your hand to squeeze it tightly, he gave you a look that in its simplicity had the power of convincing you.

”I know, sweet girl. But I really want you to get some fresh air with me, yeah? Just around the block, don’t gotta be out for long”, he pleaded, ”I know what you’re thinkin’ in here and I don’t want to lose ya to it.”

You couldn’t argue on that. You knew you weren’t doing yourself any favors, and your thoughts tended to tip over to self-deprecating and hopeless, surrounding you in darkness that only Frank could bring light into. So, you nodded at him, and he gave you an attagirl before winding an arm around you and helping you out of the bed, well-aware that even if you wanted to go, you couldn’t always get your body on board.

He brushed your hair with as much care as possible, enjoying the process more than he wanted to admit, and after that he dug out the hoodie he had left behind a few weeks ago and zipped you up in it. He tied your shoes and made sure you had your keys with you, and after he had taken care of almost everything for you, you were finally ready to go.

The sun was already going down when you stepped outside, and the sight got a faint smile from you, which in turn made Frank grin. ”Pretty, huh?” he noted while taking your hand and interlocking your fingers. He acted so much like a boyfriend even if you had never actually labelled your relationship in any way. It made you wonder, because he took such good care of you and he didn’t really even get anything out of it. It was an equation you simply didn’t understand.

You walked for a while, but finally, you had to ask. ”Why do you keep showing up?” you questioned, not meaning it to come out so accusatory, but Frank was immediately alerted to the thought of crossing a boundary. He didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, he just wanted to help.

”You want me to stop? All you gotta do is say the word”, he promised, and you hastily shook your head to reassure that that wasn’t what you wanted.

”No, I like it. I just… don’t really get why you do it. I can’t repay the favor. I’m not getting any better. So, it just seems like you’re running a fool’s errand, I guess”, you explained, and licking his lips, he gave it some thought. But really, there was no doubt about why he did it.

”You’re important to me, sweetheart. And like I’ve told you, I’ve been there. I know it gets lonely and brutal and I just don’t want ya doing it by yourself”, he answered, and quickly continued, ”and the part about you not bein’ able to repay the favor, bullshit. You do it every time you give me a smile or give me a call or agree to my stupid ass ideas to get you outta the house. I know it may be hard to see, but you got a lotta good moments and I feel damn privileged to get to see them.”

You were speechless, looking at Frank with wide eyes as you kept walking. His stare was focused on your surroundings, hyper-aware of every car that passed you by and every pedestrian with their hood pulled over their eyes too suspiciously. Whether you were in your apartment or out and about, he just wanted to look after you.

”Aren’t I kind of a burden?” you stated what felt like the obvious, and your words got him to instantly face you, a frown etched onto his forehead.

”Never. I ain’t ever gettin’ sick of you”, he swore, stopping you just so he could look into your eyes with solemnity and determination. ”I know you think you’re not gettin’ better, but you will. I’m not lettin’ you give up. Some day, you won’t need my help anymore, but until then, I ain’t goin’ nowhere”, Frank emphasized, dedicated to showing you his loyalty and confidence in you. He had so much hope for you, way more than you had yourself, but he didn’t mind carrying you.

”Thank you”, you whispered, hugging him with a tight grip, and he responded with his own arms curling around your figure. He shielded you from the dark cloud over your head, hoping that his embrace would offer the comfort he so badly tried to be for you.

”Just so you know, when that day comes when I won’t need your help… I’ll still want you around”, you pointed out, and chuckling, Frank kissed the top of your head.

”Well, I didn’t wanna be a selfish asshole, but I was hopin’ you’d feel that way”, he admitted. He may not have been very good at speaking up about it, but you had completely stolen his heart, and he wasn’t sure he was ever getting it back. ”You mean a lot to me, sweetheart”, he added quietly, and holding onto him a bit tighter, you sighed.

”You mean a lot to me too, Frank.”

[firstkanaphans]

I heartily concur with your interpretation of the Ray/Mew no-sex scene - it absolutely wasn't about sex, it was about Ray pleading with Mew to just give him a sign that he's actually genuine about this 'relationship' - at this point I think Ray wants to be with Sand, but as long as there's a chance Mew is being sincere about this, Ray feels bound to stay with him, not because he's in love with him, but because a) he begged for this (even though I still maintain he wouldn't have had Mew not brought it up again) and b) I don't think he has it in him to actively reject Mew (which in itself is part of the reason they don't work), so imo in this scene he's thinking 'show me something, anything, that allows me to convince myself I did the right thing playing it safe/not going after Sand' and THAT'S why he's so angry - it's not about sex, it's not about Top, it's not even about Mew not being able to love him. And it's not about him just being mad at not getting what he wants. It's about Ray realising that he's thrown away the possibility of real love for the lie that is this 'romance'. And like you said, Mew as good as confirms as much in the final convo. I appreciated Mew's maturity and honesty so much in that scene - it made me do a complete u-turn on his character. Mew realises that Ray wants out of this non-relationship just as much as he does, but he also knows that Ray will never be able to be the one to say it because of the power imbalance between them, so he does it for the both of them, which is a true act of love and friendship. I think for some ppl Ray 'choosing' Sand had to be an A or B scenario, aka Ray could have Mew but chooses Sand instead. But because Ray is a messed up raw wound seeping trauma and addiction and self-loathing and confusion it was never going to be that simple. What we get is more complicated but just as valid - Sand isn't his second option, Sand is who he WANTS to be with, Sand is who he loves, and who he WOULD be with if a) he was better equipped to recognise and understand his own feelings ('when I'm with you I'm so damn happy') and b) he didn't have such a longstanding and complicated (and unhealthily co-dependent) history with Mew. He doesn't drive off hoping to hook up with Sand because Mew turned him down. He seeks Sand out because, if we agree the Ray/Mew fight is the moment they both accept on some level their relationship is fake, then that's the moment Ray allows himself the chance to go after what his heart really wants, which is Sand. Ray doesn't have the emotional toolkit necessary to be able to articulate all this to himself, let alone to anyone else, which is why Mew very gently does it for him. But Mew being the one to break this to Ray doesn't mean Ray's feelings are any less his own. I think of it more this way: Sand is Ray's first choice, but Ray's own happiness is Ray's last choice, because on some level he doesn't believe he deserves it, and so without intervention - from Mew, from Sand - Ray would always continue to self-sabotage (as talked about in the tweet Jojo reposted a few days ago). And slightly but not entirely off topic: I also think nuance is often lost in translation - I might be wrong but I wonder if his words ('why won't you let me have it') are less...yeesh in Thai. Just part of a general thought I've been thunking about deep analysis of foreign language shows when you're reading so much into everything and yet relying on what are often serviceable at best subtitles (for which I'm still eternally grateful!) - SO MUCH can be misinterpreted by just a single word choice, and I sometimes find myself having to choose between taking subs at face value vs retranslating them in my head to what I think better suits the acting/story/characterisation. Apologies for the indecent length of this - I got carried away! Long story short: I agree with you!

Honestly, I agree with all of this and couldn't have said it better myself. I don't have much to add, but I will pull out some of my favorite lines for a TL;DR:

"At this point I think Ray wants to be with Sand, but as long as there's a chance Mew is being sincere about [their relationship], Ray feels bound to stay with him, not because he's in love with him, but because a) he begged for this...and b) I don't think he has it in him to actively reject Mew."

"So imo in this scene he's thinking 'show me something, anything, that allows me to convince myself I did the right thing playing it safe/not going after Sand' and THAT'S why he's so angry - it's not about sex, it's not about Top, it's not even about Mew not being able to love him....It's about Ray realising that he's thrown away the possibility of real love for the lie that is this 'romance.'"

"I think of it more this way: Sand is Ray's first choice, but Ray's own happiness is Ray's last choice, because on some level he doesn't believe he deserves it, and so without intervention - from Mew, from Sand - Ray would always continue to self-sabotage."

As for the question of translation accuracy, I actually did a little digging into this. The line that was translated as "Why won't you let me have it?" was literally บอกกูมาได้ป่ะว่าทำไมมึงถึงไม่ยอมให้กูเอาสักทีอ่ะ (bòk goo maa dâai bpà wâa tam-mai meung tĕung mâi yom hâi goo ao sàk tee à), which can more accurately be translated as "Can you tell me why you won't let me have it?" I know that's not a huge difference, but it turns an accusatory statement into a legitimate question. Ray's not just stomping his foot because Mew won't give him sex. He's asking for an explanation. [Insert disclaimer about me not being a native Thai speaker here.]

[spencerreidsbookfairy]

you made me miserable

guys, this is short im sorry buuut i could make it up to you by writing the teams reaction to the songs?? fair deal? I think so

1 month.

It had been one month of no contact with Spencer. I've been declining his calls, hell i've even ignored him when i heard him knocking at my door thank god i wasn't at that level of popularity where paparazzi follows me everywhere. Hm. I wonder if his team has mocked me for that too. I can already imagine it, it's almost hilarious.

Anyway 

I've written three songs about him about them not because they won because i wanna humiliate them have the internet speculate who the songs are about (even though they'll never know its him) 

Some thoughts cross my mind as i begin to upload the tracks 

Am I being dramatic? I mean the internet has said worse, maybe i should sleep on it-

No

No no no y/n stop it your feelings are valid i think to myself. I impulsively upload the tracks to all websites 

Track 1 : snow angel

Track 2: lost cause 

Track 3: happier than ever.

The main parts of each song is the part i want him to hear, for example

Snow angel: I tried so hard

I came so far

I met a boy

He broke my heart

I blame him 'cause

It's easier

Track 2: lost cause 

I used to think you were shy

But maybe you just had nothing on your mind

Maybe you were thinkin' 'bout yourself all the time

I used to wish you were mine

But that was way before I realized

Someone like you would always be so easy to find

So easy (so easy)

He-hee, mm-mm-mm, mm

Gave me no flowers

Wish I didn't care

You'd been gone for hours

Could be anywhere

Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah

Track 3 : happier than ever 

You call me again, drunk in your Benz

Driving home under the influence

You scared me to death, but I'm wasting my breath

'Cause you only listen to your fucking friends

I don't relate to you

I don't relate to you, no

'Cause I'd never treat me this shitty

You made me hate this city

And I don't talk shit about you on the internet

Never told anyone anything bad

'Cause that shit's embarrassing, you were my everything

And all that you did was make me fucking sad

So don't waste the time I don't have

And don't try to make me feel bad

I could talk about every time that you showed up on time

But I'd have an empty line 'cause you never did

Never paid any mind to my mother or friends

So I shut 'em all out for you 'cause I was a kid

You ruined everything good

Always said you were misunderstood

Made all my moments your own

Just fucking leave me alone

Now…was spencer ever driving drunk in his car??? No was he just sitting in his car drinking while he called you complaining about how he fucked up and misses me?? Yess

And now we wait.