#and go through the pain of being a better person just FOR that pain because that's all they deserved

[nothorses]

You've made a lot of really great posts about transmasc experiences and struggles, and they really resonate with me! So I guess I want to in complete earnest ask: why the push for 'transandrophobia' when anti-transmasculinity as a term has been around for longer and faces little friction by comparison? I don't really *dislike* transandrophobia, but its meaning gets muddied everywhere from different directions, while ATM is pretty direct and succinct I feel. It's very clear that it's about TRANSmasculine oppression. I'm not against having a dedicated term at all, but the content of our struggles gets lost in the weeds of attaching kind of understandably divisive terms like misandry and androphobia in an attempt to mirror a phenomenon very specifically about misogyny; it seems more trouble than it's worth considering ATM is right there

I'll be honest, this ask is confusing to me for a few reasons.

When I started talking about transandrophobia around the summer of 2020, the conversations I was encountering were very much, like, a handful of people across Twitter and Tumblr (literally, a handfull!). I picked up "transandrophobia" because it was one of two words I saw in use, and the other- "transmisandry"- felt much less clear and much more contentious. It seemed super obvious to me that people would draw a line from "men's rights activists" trying to push this idea that "misandry", as a systemic oppression of men by women, to "transmisandry", and assume some ill intent where there was none. It's confusing!

"Transandrophobia" was the better of two options being floated at the time, at least in any conversation I saw. "Anti-transmasculinity" was not really a term I'd been made aware of, if anyone at all was talking about it at the time.

I have seen people pick up "anti-transmasculinity" more recently (maybe in the last year?), and this is definitely the first I've seen someone shorten it to "ATM". The people I've seen use that term have been mostly people who seem really new to the conversation, and the vibe I've gotten has been very, like, "we're the Good Transmascs, our word isn't dirty and gross like those other Bad Transmascs everyone hates. you'll listen to us now that our word is Good and Pure, right?"

Which is like... kind of frustrating, and kind of sad, honestly. I think these people honestly believe that if they just choose the right word, all the people who've been dragging me and every other transmasc talking about these issues through the mud for the last 4 years or so will really just stop & listen. If they can just say it right, these people- who have been relentlessly harassing and spreading lies about every single transmasc who came before them for years now- will care what they have to say, and will be willing to engage with them in earnest, compassionate dialogue.

If you just find the right word, all of these people will care about your hurt, your pain, and the suffering of your community.

It kind of breaks my heart. It's an incredibly hopeful, kind, loving way to view the world. It's compassion and patience and forgiveness that these folks are not being given, but that they so badly want to offer to others.

And at the same time, it sucks to be the Bad Transmasc. It sucks to have fought so hard for so long, and for the people I've been fighting for all this time to turn around and say, "you're gross, and dirty, and evil, and everything you've done is a mistake." It sucks to see the people I've been fighting for agree with the people I've been fighting against, and shove me under the bus in an effort to appeal to the people running me over with it. Knowing that the bus is going to aim for them once it's done with me just makes it sadder, yknow?

@saint-speaks wasn't the first person to ever speak the word "transandrophobia", but he is the one who coined and popularized it in its current form. And then he was dragged through the mud so hard and so brutally that some people think I coined it, just because when I defended him (too little and too late, imo) I withstood the mud-dragging better than he did (and gee, I wonder white.)

And now people take for granted that everything everyone said about hymn to justify that frankly fucking evil harassment campaign was true, actually, and we should abandon the word he coined and find one with purer origins.

If you honestly think "anti-transmasculinity" is just a more practical word, that's fine. I don't care what word we use. But they're going to cover it in mud, too. They're going to cover every one of you in mud.

Will you keep fighting for "ATM" once they make it the new dirty, gross, bad, evil word? Will you keep fighting when they drag you and everyone else through the mud for using it? Or will you agree with them, make up a new word, and never look back?

Please don't let us drown in the mud. We've been fighting for you, and we want to fight with you. Please.

[sehtoast]

At Heart (Ryan Butcher, parentified!OC)

ben being a parent, ryan deserved to be hugged and held for this one, ben will be getting him a new milkshake btw, spidersona oc | Fic Directory

The web-head all but nearly shatters the balcony door rushing inside.

While not particularly cut from the cloth of parenthood, Benjamin has grown to see Ryan as his own more than he ever knew was possible.  So when faced with the sight of him sobbing on the couch, of course he went into overdrive.

“Hey, woah!” Ben rattles as he tears the mask from his head and plops down beside the boy, a hand placed on his shoulder to gently shake him from his woe. “Ryan, hey– what’s– what happened?”

Ben’s answer is the boy throwing himself forward to hug and bury his face in his shoulder, crying as he explains it all.

He killed another person.

That fucking scripted save– Vought’s ridiculous insistence that the boy become their next hero to market to the world.

“K-Koy’s dead because of me! S’my fault again!”

Ben was familiar with Koy.  The stunt director always liked him, always loved when the bug would string a few webs from the ceiling to let him toy with during his own rehearsals.  It’d been so long since he’d seen him; public footage of his saves had been more than enough for Vought to let the bug off the hook.  And now…

“Fuck…”  Ben  sighs.  “Ryan–”

“He brought me a milkshake and took it because I– Dad said– he said I shouldn’t care…”  He hiccups.  “T-That they’re toys for us to b-break. N-now he’s mad at me and–”

Of course he is, Ben thinks to himself as he pets through Ryan’s hair. Because he’s not sure why you’d show empathy to the people who’ve always broken him.  But you don’t know that…

“W-Was my mom just a toy too?”

“No,” Ben shakes his head, sighing dejectedly. “No, your mom wasn’t a toy.  No one is– your dad…”  He swallows thickly.  “He–”

“Hates me–” He chokes through sobs.

“Damnit, Johnny…” Ben mumbles.  He loves that man like nothing else, but sometimes he really had a way of fucking up.  The bug pulls back from Ryan, hands grasping his shoulders to hold the boy steady.  “Your father doesn’t hate you.”

“He doesn’t want me either–”

“Ryan.  Look at me.”  He shakes him softly, brows knit with worry.  Doesn’t want you either?  “He just doesn’t know how to help you.  I’m not saying he’s right for saying what he said, don’t get me wrong, just… he literally doesn’t know what to do.”

“I don’t know what to do!”  Ryan shouts, gripping tight to Ben’s wrists, eyes suddenly going wide when that near silent wince rang through his ears.  He loosens his hold immediately. “I don’t– I can’t–” Heaving breaths through the panic. “I’m sorry–”

“I know…”  The bug murmurs.  “I know.”

Truthfully, what could he possibly say?  That it’d all get better?  He couldn’t guarantee that.  Should he tell the boy not to stress about the damage he’s caused?  Absolutely not.

All he can do is hug him close and let him cry it out, shh-ing him and rocking from side to side.  Benjamin wishes more than anything that he could know what Becca did for the boy when he was so utterly devastated.  Hell, maybe she never even had to do something like this– at least not for this magnitude of agony.

There’s no manual for this.

At least when the sniffling stops, Ben feels like he’s done something right.  Granted it only stopped because the boy cried himself to sleep, but…

It’s something, right?

He carries Ryan to his bedroom, up the stairs and to the left.  It used to just be a storage room before the boy came about, then John had it converted to be everything he’d ever wanted when he himself was a child.  Benjamin tried to explain, but… it just never clicked.

Gently, Benjamin places him onto his bed, snagging the nearest throw blanket to drape over his form.  Even asleep, the kid looks exhausted– and rightfully so.  He doesn’t deserve any of this. The pain, the sorrow, the guilt.  Ryan’s just a boy who’s been through far too much.

Not terribly unlike his father.

The bug sighs dejectedly, knowing there was a conversation to be had with his boyfriend about consoling the kid.  Homelander will get defensive, spiteful, angry– he’ll feel attacked right off the bat.  He’s trying, but he’ll never get it right if he doesn’t realize one terribly tragic thing about his son.

Try as he might to shape Ryan in his image, he will never truly mirror his father.  Homelander will never understand why, but Benjamin?  It’s not at all hard for him to see.  Not in the slightest.  It’s not a bad thing, but it’s certainly not good.  

Tragedy will always hit the boy hardest.  It will devastate him in ways his father can never understand.

Ryan is a human at heart. 

He always will be.  

[tarjapearce]

Hello! This is my first time ever communicating with you as I'm mostly a more introverted reader and author, but when I discovered that you've been experiencing something similar to copyright issues, I HAD to say something.

As someone who has recently experienced the same thing here on Tumblr, I know how you feel. It's frustrating and discouraging seeing events, ideas, or even exact copies of your work being used without permission.

Also, I don't understand why someone is saying you are overthinking and being dramatic, an author KNOWS their work. We KNOW what we have written, KNOW what we have put our blood, sweat, and tears into; so we also know if someone copies our stuff, even if it's not blatantly obvious to readers or viewers.

People can steal authors' ideas, too, which is still copyright infringement, no matter how different the wording is.

For example, if I came across a Miguel fanfic about him working out in the gym, then becoming enraged when Peter B. Parker dropped a dumbbell on his foot, and I decided to write it that would become a stolen idea because it wasn't originally mine, no matter how differently I write it.

So please do not feel like you are making things bigger than they are. The least the person wishing to use anything of yours should do is ask the author of the original idea for permission for use or at least, credit them in their story.

(As of now, I'm unsure if the person who stole your work has credited or asked you yet, but I simply wished to say this.)

My DMs are always open to you. I've been a huge fan for a while, and it pains me to hear you are going through something like stolen work. 🙄🙄

I swear, it takes the joy out of writing or producing art when someone feels entitled to take something that obviously doesn't belong to them.

I just hope things get better for you. Just let me know, and I'll try to assist in any way. ❤️❤️

Thank you, dear ☺️❤️

You're too kind. Will keep it in mind.

And yeah. Can't blame artist and creators when they go on hiatus because of these sort of things.

But I love my man too much to let him hanging. So, We're on it.

Your support has been invaluable for me, specially today that everything exploded.

This is the last ask regarding that situation btw. Don't wanna ruin my mood over this.

Thanks for believing me. And hopefully this situation teaches people that if you steal, you get consequences.

And again, if me being dramatic or problematic makes you uncomfortable, then, stop following? Block me? Don't stay just cause morbidity. Simple as that.

Those that minimize by saying dramatic haven't clearly got their stuff stolen, so it's natural for them to talk. And hopefully never happens to them. Cause I'm sure I'd see post about it. So yeah 🤷🏻‍♀️.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

I don't know if you've done this or one terribly similar, but what about a full hc or drabble for julian with an MC who gets wrist tendonitis? they draw and/or write frequently, but they're unable to do either of their hobbies for at least a week while they wait for their arm to heal, and they keep being woken up early due to severe pain.

Yes, I recently had to deal with this 😭 and it made me think of a certain doctor

The Arcana Drabbles: Julian when MC gets tendonitis

Waking up before the sun has made its way into the sky when you didn't plan to is not very fun. Waking up because you're in pain is considerably worse, and not being able to fall back asleep is downright miserable.

Julian, for once, is fast asleep and completely oblivious to the cares and worries of the world. The constant throbbing radiating along your arm seems to subside for a split second as you take him in, rumpled curls spilling across his pillow, expressive brows relaxed and smooth, auburn stubble decorating his sharp jaw as the occasional satisfying snore reverberates through his hooked nose. You stare a little too long.

"Nguh - huh? Wha? Ah - Hello, m'dear." And there are those bleary grey eyes, gazing lovingly at you through the fog of a rare deep sleep.

"Hello," you tell him, and then, "You should go back to sleep."

It's too late. He's already shuffling up onto one elbow, sleep shirt slipping further open as he looks down at you with a little more awareness. Even his red eye looks soft like this.

"And what's keeping you from sleep?" His forehead crinkles as he takes in your grimace, gaze zeroing in on the awkward positioning of your arm. "Oh dear. You're in a great deal of pain, aren't you?"

You're getting ready to protest, but he's already jostling the mattress as he fumbles out of bed and rounding the bottom of it to stand at your side. "Allow your personal physician to see to your worries, will you? I can promise you the - ah - the most excellent care this side of the Strait."

You nod, already feeling relief from the ever-cool, gentle pressure of his fingers on your wrist. "Tell me if this pains you."

He's methodical, somehow able to scrutinize every detail of your arm and expression despite being half-awake as takes your hand in his. He bends the joints of your elbow and fingers first, lightly pressing at the tissue around them to test their tenderness, before making his way to your wrist and hissing sympathetically when a slight nudge makes your face crinkle up. "Ah - I'm so sorry, my dear, I didn't mean to hurt you."

He leans forward to press a stubbly, scratchy kiss to your forehead and straightens to leave the room. "I'll be right back."

Less than five minutes later, a much more alert Julian is perched on the bed and carefully wrapping your wrist where it lies in his lap. "Do want it tighter? Looser?"

"It's just right." He shoots you another small smile as he ties it off, the compression doing wonders for your angry tendons. The cooling salve underneath tingles deliciously on your overheated skin.

"Better?"

"Much." You answer, the receding pain giving way to a mighty yawn. You really didn't mean to wake up this early. Your partner brings his bare hand to his face to stifle his own responding yawn.

Moments later, he lurches back with a startled yelp.

"Julian?"

"Ah - the cooling salve, it got on my face - one moment while I -"

He goes to wipe his fingers off on his trouser leg, but being in only his sleep shirt, it winds up on his bare thigh instead. It's a little hard not to laugh when your beloved, intelligent doctor is dancing around your bedroom in woolen socks and a sleep shirt to the sound of his own hissed curses.

"Hells, that's powerful stuff!"

"Are you coming back to bed, Julian?"

"Do you want this all over you?"

His incredulous exclamation is the last thing you get as he whisks out of the room to wash off. You know he'll be back in five minutes, damp and sheepish and ready to lie back down even if he won't be able to sleep. Maybe waking up several hours before you meant to isn't as miserable as you you thought it would be.

[goldkirk]

it’s so scary and so freeing to just be a person.

[dykedvonte]

If Ulysses has a million haters, then I'm one of them. If Ulysses has one hater, then I'm THAT ONE. If Ulysses has no haters, that means I'm dead. If the world is with Ulysses than I’m against the world.

[hella1975]

are you guys thinking about touya todoroki today because i am

[fellhellion]

I have a rich inner world abt both iterations of Miguel and the relationship to fatherhood <- literally just hc

[spaceratprodigy]

one of my favorite things abt how faith reacts to max in fallbrook arc is her being directly faced with her own hypocrisy

[martyrbat]

red hood: the lost days #6

[ID: Jason Todd pinning the Joker down in a puddle of gasoline by sitting on his chest. Jason is without his helmet with it laying in the gasoline near them. He has red eyeshadow around his eyes in the shape of his Robin mask and is snarling through gritted teeth down at the Joker, who's smiling up at him. Jason's muscular arms are exposed by wearing a black tanktop and blue jeans while the Joker is in his pinkish purple suit. Jason is holding a lit torch and behind them is a barricade of flammable barrels and the bright, full moon. In front of the moon is Batman with his cape flared out to resemble wings, his only visible feature being his glowing eyes. END ID]

[curiouschaosstarlight]

(*Quick clarification, 'cause I feel like I should say this right away, I don't mind people not liking or even being really uncomfortable with certain characters, especially villains that have canonically done some really horrible stuff, even if I happen to really love the character in question! It's all in the Handling of the topic, and someone that's like "oh they're just not my cup of tea" or just don't want to talk about the character at all 1000000% has my respect and appreciation <3)

-claps-

So.

On the topic of demonizing characters that have violent or angry responses to their trauma

The thing about it that really gets my goat is the fact that I as a person have had anger problems ever since I can remember. I've had a pretty bad mix of anxiety and anger problems due to being traumatized, and have had to work really, really hard to get my knee-jerk temper under control, and really nothing fucks you up like thinking you're "fixed" but the reality winds up being you just were in a state of "nothing too stressful's happened lately" and then when things start getting incredibly stressful again, you realize you still have more work to do and you have to watch yourself way more than you thought.

I'm still not "fixed", and, after talking extensively with a therapist, I'm kind of just going to have to be okay with that; still trying to do right by the people I care about and not be an asshole about things, but I'm just going to have to live with the fact that in response to high anxiety and high stress, I become an angry person, and I'm not always going to be able to remember to take a step back from a situation when I feel myself getting heated (my success rate in this is going up at least)

So It Really.

Really.

Bothers Me.

When fandom tries to claim that a character isn't traumatized, or isn't traumatized enough, because their response to that trauma is to be violent and angry and malicious. And when they try to claim that because a character reacted this way, they're just evil and irredeemable and have no further depth to them, and any attempt to add depth (even canonical depth) to them is "wrong (and a sign the person doing it is an Abuser/Terrible Person irl)" or is "woobifying them".

And yeah. Part of what bothers me is that I tend to fall very hard for villain/antagonist characters that handle trauma badly, or otherwise have signs that they probably have some trauma they haven't exactly worked through, especially when that villain character gets to have a redemption arc. (And I do NOT mean that as "they cast away everything they were before and completely denounce and despise who they used to be and go through the whole repent and penance number". Give me more villain characters who are TRYING, who are STRUGGLING, who have conflicted feelings, who aren't an entirely new person and shouldn't be left to just wallow in self-hatred over it because!! no one!! deserves!! to wallow in self-hatred!! I want redemption arcs in the form of "person who did wrong is doing their best to be a better person" and NOT "character needs to suffer and be heartbroken and sad and unable to move on forever", I hate when I see people writing the latter shit, Idc what the character canonically did, no one who's genuinely trying deserves to be perpetually miserable and it is Highkey Concerning to see that attitude happen again and again) Plus, I LOVE media and character analysis, it is MY JAM, and.

Yeah.

I've got a lot of feelings that go into this kinda stuff. It's why when I see "no nuance!! just evil!!!"-type takes, that shit really boils my blood.

And is also why I don't actively participate in fandom anymore.

Like, yeah, I make some posts here and there. And I'd love to interact more with like-minded people -- I really love talking to others about characters and media and ships and all that good stuff!!

But I don't go searching for fandom stuff unless it's some art in a completely different language. After my last two fandoms went absolutely horrifically for me in two different ways, I think my trust in modern fandoms is just gone, and I don't think it's coming back.

There's only so many times a person can be told they're inherently evil (indirectly) or badwrong and stupid (directly) for a simple fucking opinion over goddamn fiction of all things.

[annoyinglibra]

They should invent medications that don’t make me believe my friends would be happy if I died as a side effect

[ko-eko-ev-go-ms]

Brain is braining too much me thinks

[katyspersonal]

Micolash’s ‘Can somebody, anybody, please look into my eyes?’ and Rom’s ‘I revolt both humanity and the divine, can anyone, anything, please accept me?’. I never realised how they are both absolutely alone in who they are (’: Having no choice but to build a “kind” of their own around themselves (Mico by making corpse marionettes and Rom by rebirthing humans into her spider Kin apparently)

[spacedustmantis]

if we're being realistic, being ripped apart by a horde of zombies has to be the most gruesome, most painful death of them all

[arklay]

i didn't really talk about it cause i think most mutuals know. but the reason that fic causes me so much pain is because they've been together for over ten years at that point and have never had a fight where they need a break from each other... they've never even had a fight where they yell