#and have such different values which is just INTERESTING and makes both of them CURIOUS

[electric-plants]

cyno: why did you turn down being a sage?

alhaitham: i can’t think of a job i would want to do less. wait no i would hate your job more actually

dehya: hey alhaitham watch yourself that was kind of rude—

cyno: actually that was…kind of hot….

[cursedcola]

Prompt: "Will You Marry Me?" - Proposal Headcannons Characters: Everyone :) Part(s): Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw, Octavinelle, Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, Diasomnia( pt.1 Here!)(pt.2) Fandom: Twisted Wonderland Warning(s): None. I mean, unless you don't want to marry any of them. Just don't read if that's the case. Note: These are all if he is the one proposing btw. Also, I went overboard. So much that I exceeded the character limit and need to post Diasomnia in 2 parts. I have favorites I guess :/

Malleus experienced more firsts over the course of three years than the duration of his life. His first board game session, his first group trip with peers, his first taste of carnival food, his first sleepover, his first true friend - so, so many firsts. All a byproduct of one person walking into his life and taking a genuine interest in him.

You were the first houseguest he personally invited over to Diasomnia. Not for a tour, not for business, not on behalf of another - no. You were Malleus' houseguest, there to visit Malleus and spend time with Malleus. The snacks prepared were for you both to share. The lounge seating reserved for your company. His first time hosting for fun.

You were the first person he ever got a present for outside of his family. How quick your birthday had come, and how startled he became to find he cared. You were older. Growing so quick and changing at an alarming pace. He could see it in your features and mannerisms. Malleus knew that humans aged at a much faster rate than fae. Silver sprouted like a beanstalk. Yet you were blossoming like a flower in spring. How long until you'd wither?

Malleus cared. Not out of curiosity, but something deeper. Malleus did not want a servant to pick your gift, not even his closest companions. He desired to adhere to human custom and do the task himself. He did not trust another to pick something meaningful and to your preference.

You were the first to make him laugh. Your humor being like none he had heard before. Others tend to correct themselves in Malleus' presence, or try to cater to 'his' taste. Even those closest to him, often sharing a joke that flies over his head without any explanation. You did no such thing. Your humor was curious, and perhaps a bit crude. The jokes did fail to land with him, but he still found them funny regardless.

You were the first to make him yearn. Malleus had felt loneliness before. He's been bound in it's searing clutches and taunted. Yet his rooted longing never compelled him to change. He never felt jealous. Until your smile became another's and he felt a hot pit in his stomach. One different than his fiery magic.

You were his first desire.

Malleus fumbled and panicked. He had finally found a friend, yet he wanted more. The realization striking him deep. The first want he had no guarantee of obtaining. Yet his need for you was strong. He could not lose you. Malleus begun to value your presence. Your joy. The new life you breathed into him. He held it as dear as his family. You became his fondest treasure.

Malleus needed to ensure that you would never be taken from him. That you would never change.

You were also his first failure. On the dawn of your second year and his graduation, Malleus proposed. He had forgone all customs and jumped straight to marriage. Love to the fae was a lifetime bond. No power could chain you to him stronger than matrimony. Which is why he demanded your presence in the gardens after the ending ceremony. He decorated according to your tastes, with colorful lanterns and firefly lights strewn across the plants.

He saw the hope in your eyes. The way they sparkled with affection and pride bloomed knowing that he was the cause.

“Malleus….It’s so beautiful. Did you prepare this just for me?” You ask, clutching your hands to your chest. He smiles, reaching into his breast pocket and pulling out a black velvet box in the shape of a rose.

“I’m happy to see you like it; however, I hope this offering pleases you more”

Malleus opens the box to reveal a ring. Your eyes widen owlishly and he interprets it as a good sign. Until you step back.

“Oh Malleus….I can’t accept this. We aren’t even dating!” You deny his unspoken proposal with a shaken tone Malleus’ is unfamiliar with. Not from you.

“Why not? I love you. Is that not enough? Do you not love me?”

He fails to understand why you declined. He spent countless hours studying human customs and expression. No. Studying you. He was confident you returned his affections. So why? Why not leave this place and join him?

You explain to him that you’re incapable of marrying someone you haven’t spent time with romantically. That you do care about him. That you liked him and did feel for him. That you could love him, but not so suddenly. You have friends at NRC and didn’t want to leave. Not to mention how him marrying a human, especially with no warning, would cause so many political problems.

Of course he had already taken all this into consideration. He didn’t care about all that, yet bit his tongue from speaking his mind. Another first for Malleus.

“What if I abide by your terms? Would you allow me to court you properly?” He cuts into your sea of reasons not to be together. They weren’t his concern. Only you.

This gets you. He clearly wasn’t listening. Love blinded the average person, and Malleus’ heart bled. You consider his offer, and agree to his courtship. It would be difficult to maintain considering your distance and his status. Yet they were fickle matters to Malleus.

You were his first failure, yet he didn’t mind. There was no true victory without a bit of labor.

The change that he so feared, it became something Malleus adored. Every time he would whisk you away from NRC, or return for a visit - you were different. You had a new story to share, or had changed your appearance. At first he began to panic once again at how quickly you seemed to evolve without him.

And one day he realized that you would keep changing. He’d see a new you forever. All these new versions. A constant spark and longing that made him realize how precious each one was. They would come whether he bid them to or not - so he had to cherish them. Every version of you was one he loved and lost. Yet the fact that another would emerge kept his heart complacent.

You were his first kiss on a dewy fall morning. You were his first heartfelt dance, dressed in shimmery black satin and pearls that he gifted. You were his first goodnight kiss, and first morning embrace. You were his first comfort after tragedy struck and his first sympathetic heartache. You were everything.

It was no longer about chaining you. He loved his firsts. He would forever remember them.

His first goodbye.

On the cusp of your 3rd year coming to a close, Malleus prepared the ring from two years prior. He would gift it to you after your graduation. It would be yours whether you accepted the meaning behind it or not - the ring could go to no one else.

An announcement arrives to him the week prior via pen and paper. Hand written by you and oh how he so loved your letters. Malleus opened it with calm delight, yet as his eyes traveled across the words he forgot how to control his strength. The paper alit in flames.

‘The Headmaster found a way to send me home. Would you come for a visit?’

The letter was not so blunt, but that’s all he could comprehend. Malleus was not ready to say goodbye. He once thought his greatest fear was to watch his flower wilt, yet now it must be cut to make a bouquet.

As much as it tore him apart, Malleus had to let you go. He couldn’t root you to soil forever. His hands unconsciously drift to the velvet rose box tucked safely in his breast pocket.

It’s only natural you’d be the source of some of Malleus’ lasts. He would never love another.

He joins you days before your ceremony. You explain to him the procedure to return, and he bites his tongue once again. He encourages you, and is happy that you’re happy. The ring burns a hole where his heart lies yet he continues on with grace, ignoring the cautious behavior of your peers whenever he’s around. The only opinion he cared for was yours, and he’d stay as long as you needed.

Malleus missed the way your heart sought his. The way you gave him chance after chance to ask you to stay. How you clung to him despite the roles normally being reversed.

“I guess this is goodbye. I’ll miss you,” you whisper, holding Malleus’ hand and glancing at the glowing portal behind him. Malleus smiles, his eyes softening as he leans forward to kiss your forehead.

“I will never forget your heart,” he murmurs against your skin, and reaches into his breast pocket with fluid movements. Malleus places the velvet rose box in your hands, cradling them gently with both of his.

“This is yours. I had it made for your finger alone, and only you will be the one to wear it. My heart belongs to you. Let this be my final selfish wish, but I hope you will think of me when you look upon it”

Malleus doesn’t understand why you break down. The way you clutch the box to your chest and look at him with such pain. He thought you wanted to go home. Is it not what you waited so long for?

He cannot be strong when you’re crying. How can you be so cruel. He won’t be able to -

“I want to be with you. I love you,” you whisper yet he hears it perfectly clear.

Malleus’ heart stutters and he clutches your shoulders. With one hand he tilts your chin up to look at him. Your eyes splotched with red irritation and glassy with sorrow. He wipes at their edges with his thumbs, cupping your cheeks ans looking at you for any sign of doubt. Any insincerity or fear. Your expression from years prior still lives rent free in his mind…he would not risk your happiness for his selfishness.

He finds nothing and pulls you in his arms. For the first time, Malleus sheds tears born from love. From relief. He wraps his arms protectively around you, and tucks his chin over your head.

“If you love something, let it be free. If it was meant to be yours then it will come back willingly. This is a saying of humans, is it not? I could not have you at the cost of your happiness. You do not deserve such a tainted love…but if this is truly what you desire, then I will not cease my efforts. You are mine, and I will eternally be yours,”

{Malleus’ ring is hand crafted by the royal blacksmith. Some would assume that there is a ring passed down through generations of the Draconia bloodline. There is not. The fae do not follow such traditions, yet Malleus would not instill all his values onto you. If it is a ring you need, then it is a ring he will get. He decides to reforge a gem plucked from his mother’s staff. The ring is made especially for you, with a teardrop-cut of magic-infused emerald as the focus point. It’s enchanted to reject any hand other than your own, and morphs to the size of your finger. It is subtle, made of pure gold, and a symbol of union between fae and mankind.}

"One should never make a vow of eternal love lightly. Take it from someone with ample life experience"

Lilia often imposes advice without any prompting. The musings of an old man normally went in and out of people's ears anyways. Sometimes it takes experience to learn, and no matter how we try to warn our children - fate is fate. They will go through the motions just as the people before them. Especially when it comes to trials of the heart such as love and loss.

Lilia knows both intimately. They've forged the man he is.

Philia: Love of friendship and equals. His peers, his comrades in arms, his fellow fae. The friends he has lost through death and distance. Those he fought to protect.

Storge: Parental love. To raise the son of his closest friends, and the blood of his sworn enemy. Lilia has fought through loss to feel the gratification of fatherhood. Lilia loves his children.

Agape: Love of man. This one took work. It took losing all he had, and then losing more. Hundreds of years of healing and trying to be better. Even in his final stretch Lilia is still learning this love.

Eros: Passionate, unconditional love. Lilia has felt this once, and only once. The wound still fresh with a dribble of salt steadily halting the healing process. To feel eros is a beautiful thing, but to have it ripped away is enough to kill.

Lilia experienced his fair share, and now enjoys watching those in the prime of life seek out love. He doesn't engage in romantic gossip, but enjoys watching others live their lives. One of his biggest curiosities being you, oddly enough.

This is because you've shown no interest in feeling love of any kind. Being the nosy man he is, Lilia finds your dismissal of others a bit concerning. He's not the most open person himself, yet you're a young human. This is when you should be wild! Surely you must feel something, considering all the 'escapades' you've been on with other students. The best way to bond is over shared trauma - he's not endorsing it. Just stating a fact.

"It's nothing personal. I'd rather not get too attached considering my living circumstances, if you catch my drift" you say in response to his prying.

He indeed 'catches the drift' and sees a bit of himself reflected in you. You were not unkind, yet also not overzealous. You did not push others away, yet also made an effort to protect yourself. For all the kind deeds you've done, Lilia knew better than to think it a case of bleeding heart syndrome. You remind him of how he was when deciding to raise Silver - afraid and very good at hiding it for the sake of others.

He decides to step in against his better judgement. If anything to repay the kindness you've done Malleus and his two youngsters. He couldn't watch you waste the precious life you’ve been given huddled away in isolation. Lilia would become your confident, as he is the most equipped to endure inevitably bidding farewell. If anything he will encourage you to forge stronger bonds of your own accord without fear.

He does an outstanding job at being the extrovert adopting an introvert. His favorite hobby being to startle you - popping out from random places like trees, bushes, the ceiling, your closet, etc. So much that you grow accustomed to his antics and expect them. Going so far as to always carry hard candies in your coat pocket as a peace offering.

He invites you to play online video games, go shopping, and sometimes pops by your dorm with Malleus. However his visits soon become solo, sensing that his adopted son didn't enjoy his 'nightly stroll' with his best friend being invaded. Lilia didn't mind - it meant that he'd get your company all to himself! There was nothing like watching a few horror flicks and tormenting Grimm after them. You even had a guest room in case he felt too ‘lazy’ to fly home.

On your birthday, he bakes a cake and leaves it on your kitchen windowsill. You found it, and even thanked him 'happily' later that day. He never said he was the chef though....you must have quite a keen sense of taste! That or he must be so talented that you know his cooking by heart!

Lilia felt a sense of relief, seeing your mannerisms shift from neutral to happy as time passed. It was hard work ebbing away at those walls of yours. It's not good for humans to be stressed. It lessens their already short lifespan.

He really should step aside. Let you befriend more humans and people that will support your journey. Except he doesn't want to. Philia's taken root in his heart - you're now a friend. An actual one.

So...he doesn't let go.

You join the college's boardgame club, and Lilia feels honored that he's the first you ask to play with. Each time you sought his company made him feel young again. Thrills did tend to follow your wake after all.

You often spent many evenings teaching Malleus, Silver, and even Sebek about your world. Not something Lilia planned for, but seeing you open up about it put his mind at ease. The different cultures, history, trends - Lilia listens in happily as well. Going so far as to learn some of your favorite recipes. He wants to cook them right away, but agrees to wait for your company. You grew nervous when he brought the topic up, possibly because you didn't want to be left out? Surely, that must be why.

Soon comes another January 1st - Signifying a new year and also Lilia’s birthday. The night prior he was out on the prowl, flying free throughout campus, watching people party and celebrate. Normally he’d spend this evening having fun of his own, but being caged at a school left him little chances to be free. Jumping across rooftops and sneaking around doing parkour was a trip down memory lane. The fireworks and lively people made for an excellent atmosphere.

By chance he happened on your rooftop, and decided to pop in for a quick respite. Slipping in through an open window was child’s play, as was avoiding your paranormal houseguests and popping in and out of rooms.

His keen hearing picks up your voice coming from the main bedroom - and normally he wouldn’t invade a personal space but the door was open. So obviously it was an invitation. He sticks to the ceiling and crawls to a shrouded corner with a mischievous grin.

How unsuspecting you were - dressed up in fancy clothes and muttering to yourself while in front of a floor length mirror. Lilia thinks you’re going to a party and is prepping to tag along -

“Alright. I can do this,” you mutter and turn around to pace the floor. A neatly wrapped present is clutched tight in your hands - wrapped in ivory paper with a sparkly pink ribbon. Lilia freezes just when he’s about to jump down, and clings back to the wall. “Just give it to him. Give it and tell him how you feel,” you turn towards the mirror, holding the box out, “Hello there Lilia. Yes, this is a birthday present. Yes, you’re a year older, how exciting! By the way I really like you so would you want to go on a date?” You fall silent, cringing in disgust at your reflection before sitting on the bed, “Ah. That was such dogshit”

Lilia exits as swift as he entered. The night air whips against his skin as he transforms into a bat and is already on the way back home. The implications of what he just witnessed weighing heavily on his mind.

This would not be the first time someone has caught feelings for him. You don't go 700 years without any suitors - he'd always turn them down with careful consideration.

Except he doesn't want to this time. That's the major issue.

The flight home was long, with purposeful detours until he felt tired enough to retire. A familiar bitter ache stung his heart. He'd only felt this disappointment once prior, and swore off letting it bud again.

Eros.

Lilia was in love too. He recognized the passion growing long before this moment, and against his better judgement let it fester.

"Seems I'm not as equipped to handle this as I once believed" he says to no-one and moves to play some online games instead of sleeping.

Lilia once felt a love he couldn’t express through anything other than fealty and devotion. It was a darker time where there was no promise of future. He swore not to endure that pain again - yet this is similar yet also different. The love is blooming effortlessly. His devotion is growing. The desire is there and so is the fear. All the same feelings yet without the dire weight of external forces adding pressure. This time it’s his choice to follow through. There’s no bigger force at play stopping him. Not even your mortality, considering how his lifespan is almost at its close.

Yet for all his years of wisdom, the thought of putting his heart out was still as frightening as the first.

In truth, Lilia had ulterior reasons for pursuing your companionship other than worry or repaying a debt. Your behaviors did remind him of his past self. That was no lie. He simply felt affection blooming upon your first meeting and thought having your friendship would morph it into something more tame. He had a habit of drawing in lost souls - what was one more?

Now the affection is stronger, and you return it.

Heavens, was he being given another chance? After all these years.

You return it. It's requited. He needn't hide it for the sake of someone else's happiness. Lilia could be selfish, if only he let himself.

The next day, Lilia finds an ivory box with a sparkly pink ribbon outside his door. A neatly written letter is attached, with the words 'Happy Birthday' written on the front. His name is written on the tag in black ink, with your name signed as the sender.

Lilia picks it up and undoes the wrapping with nimble movements. Inside is an assortment of treats that he wanted to try from your home, and a neatly folded letter atop them. It details exactly what was expected, a perfect explanation of your feelings that's entirely different than the nervous display he intruded upon.

He looks around the hallway, checking to see if you’re nearby before disappearing without a trace. Nothing but an open door showing that he left.

Everything after is a blur. While doing the dishes back at your dorm and trying not to think of the present - Lilia appears out of nowhere, startling you for what was probably the first time in months. His typical cheeky grin and snicker were nowhere in sight.

He says one thing, “Are you certain?”. The words held a heavy meaning for the both of you.

Asking if he’s willing to go for one last chance. To take one final risk or simply be satisfied with all he’s accomplished thus far. It asks if you’re willing to do the same - to risk everything you’ve built in one fell swoop.

You nod, and Lilia smiles. Not an impish smirk or a snarky grin. A true, soft smile that is full of released tension. He happily hugs you from behind as you finish working in silence, gradually slipping back to his playful ways yet not entirely. He would remain the out of touch peepaw that you so loved to tease him as, but a bit of his youthful spirit was being revived. His inner self being healed, perhaps.

He loves you, and the world hasn’t split in two. It was his time.

Finally.

From then on he had no reservations in loving you. This was a new form of eros. A new passion filled with joy and living for the moment - versus the weight of time holding him back like it did when he was younger. Nothing changed in your dynamic other than he now had the strength to let himself love freely.

Which is exactly why he wastes no more time. Just as he told you off hand long ago, one should not make a vow of eternal love lightly. He’d take his own advice and seek his own happiness for the first time in hundreds of years.

On a random night with no inkling of warning, Lilia drags you out of bed to the Ramshackle rooftop in nothing but your nightclothes. It wasn’t the first time he’d ask for a midnight escapade - just for the thrill and surprise, most of the time. He loved to keep things exciting.

Except he was being far too gentle. Far too nostalgic. He sits you down on the edge of the roof and puts his cardigan over your shoulders. Not a word passes between you as he tucks it snug around your shoulders - his hand tracing the line of your cheekbones, down your arms and to your hands. He cradles them gently, never taking his eyes from yours.

Then something foreign glimmers against your finger. In an effortless motion, he slipped the ring on without pause. You can’t help but stare at the gem in thought, looking between it and Lilia’s thoughtful expression over and over.

Lilia nods, taking your hand in his and running his thumb over the ring - admiring it against your skin.

“I’ve lived many years. Lead many lives. I thought I had accepted my nearing end, yet I find myself wanting more. I want to grey with grace at your side. To enjoy mundane evenings - greet you come morning and kiss you to seal a day’s end. I want my last life to be at your side, if only you will have me”

{A blood red garnet placed inside a blossom frame. Lilia’s ring is made of silver, and gives the illusion of a red rose in a bed of vines. Red is the color of passion, devotion, and unconditional love. Red roses hold this very meaning in the language of flowers. Lilia has felt this before - but you are his fated. You have chosen him simply for the person he is - not who he needs to be. He can finally be free and at peace. Your love is something he can selfishly hoard and it gives him the desire to enjoy life. He feels full. Happy. He hopes that this ring shows that he wants to live for the moment by your side, eternally}

[elysiansparadise]

The gentleness that holds a strong and powerful soul. Moved by passion. They put their everything on things that set in motion their inner world. 

Taurus Rising: Strength & Softness

Consistency, loyalty, support and autonomy are perfect words to describe this rising. People with enchanting and natural beauty, accompanied by gorgeousness and a calm attitude in the eyes of others that protects a brave and passionate heart. Life encourages them to develop patience and a persevering attitude. They are people who remain strong and unbreakable, seek to appear stable, strong and very independent even if inside they feel that things are collapsing or if their surroundings are breaking, they want to show that they are strong and that they can handle anything. More easily being the support of others rather than being able to open themselves to being helped or seen vulnerable. 

With Gemini in the 2nd house are people who highly value their intelligence, they take great pride in their knowledge, especially in those topics that matter a lot to them. For them, learning is something crucial in their lives, so they try to know a lot about many different things. They may have a lot of interest in design, gardening, music [specifically singing], writing and reading. Financial topics can attract their attention and they can acquire a lot of knowledge about it. This position can show someone very skilled with money or sales. Being a house linked to value and self-esteem, this specific overlay tells us about people who find themselves constantly questioning their own value, however, it is not just something that only applies to them, as they will question value in those things in which they society puts value. They will question the values ​​of their home or the groups they interact with. Another common thing with them is this inconsistency in their sense of security, feeling unprotected on many occasions. Clear, honest and direct communication is something they deeply appreciate, they love the feeling of being able to have a long and pleasant talk for both parties. They tend to prefer those where they are one on one due to their reserved nature.

Later, we find Cancer in the 3rd house, a placement that could be one of the main reasons behind the soothing and soft essence of this particular Ascendant. With this overlay we see natives with such an appealing way of speaking, sweet and very pleasant, there is something about them that allows them to be very understandable with other people and their emotions. These people are very curious about knowing the depth and complexity behind everything and everyone. When it comes to relating to others, they put a lot of emphasis on knowing the core of others, their emotions, their past and everything that allows them to have a better and more personal understanding of others. They are people with a warm way of speaking, they aren't usually impulsive when communicating and they think very carefully about their words before speaking. We have very capable, talented writers and speakers with the ability to easily evoke feelings in others. They stand out for their good memory and a light touch of warmth in their speech. These people may have melancholy tendencies or may think a lot about the past. If the Moon is making tense aspects or if Saturn is in this house, a tendency to constant periods of depression is likely. Writing can be a way for them to better express their emotions, and reading can be very relaxing as well. One of their ways to better connect with others can be deep talks and in some cases sharing food. If they have siblings, they may have a somewhat variable relationship but they may have a deep affection for them or at least one of them. They can assume the role of older sibling regardless of their age.

Inside Leo in the 4th house, lies a person with a warm heart, a generous disposition towards all those with whom they have a strong emotional bond, and someone who fiercely protects those they consider family. They are without a doubt people who become restless, fun and very charismatic once they trust the person next to them, being more authentic and effusive with them, as well as more warmly open. In family matters, there may be a very strong connection with one of them in particular, likewise, it may indicate a very busy, somewhat dramatic and in some cases noisy environment. These people hide their hearts very well from others, making it visible only to those with whom they feel they really connect, they are capable of loving very strongly and publicly, they are not the type of people to hide their emotions. No matter how calm or reserved they may seem, deep down they are people with great brilliance, with a lot of emotion and great creativity and ideas that brighten the lives of those around them. From a very young age they learned to think about themselves, about doing things that make them happy before wanting to make other people happy. In some cases, it is likely that the native has had to deal with family members who thought only of themselves, who were egotistical, or who did not take into consideration what others or the native felt or wanted. These people may have a tendency to take things personally, they hate feeling that they or their feelings are not taken seriously or valued. Another likely thing is that they are relatively more independent than other members of their family. They hate feeling ignored more than anything in the world, they like to feel and make those they love feel that they are heard.

For Virgo in the 5th house, romance is something sublime when there is devotion and dedication on the part of both parties. These people are capable of loving too much, always establishing the importance of making their partner feel supported, understood and motivated, actions that they seek to receive in return. They are always looking for the relationship to improve, they will seek to know their partner better and more deeply, the conversations about ways to make each other feel better will be very constant as well as the small and significant details. They are people who notice the slightest thing about their partner, changes in their look, tastes, preferences and other areas of their personality. They are very loyal, stable and gentle when they love. They think a lot before allowing themselves to have a romance with someone, they analyze the person in question. They are quite demanding of themselves, and may have the mistaken idea that they could be loved until they are that way or achieve that thing, when the beautiful fact of being themselves already makes them worthy of that love that they so doubt if they can have. . As this is the home of talents and hobbies, it makes them people not only very dedicated to them, but also very perfectionist when it comes to dealing with them, practicing a lot and never settling, remaining willing to learn more and continue improving. They like to do things well and think that if they can't do it to the best they can, it's better not to do it. Their confidence, their gentleness and charm that they are not aware of, makes them people who can attract admiration from others, many even admiring them for all the hard.

In the workplace, people with Libra in the 6th house are extremely capable and excellent. They are very good people at finding solutions to all kinds of problems, from problems related to their work, such as problems of or among others. Diplomatic, responsible and willing to help and collaborate in their work and/or their co-workers. Even if they consider themselves independent and are very skilled on their own, they make teamwork enjoyable and comfortable for themselves and others. Self-care routines are something of utmost importance to them and they will always enjoy taking care of themselves in every way. Their body is their temple, one that they care for with delicacy and attention. These people are very likely to attract a lot of attention from their co-workers, a common placement for romances in the office or work area. They will be able to make good contacts through their work and will be seen as very approachable, helpful and polite people. They are people sensitive to noise or any negative hustle and bustle, preferring to work in quiet environments, with music they like in the background and, in general, in an environment where they do not feel so tense. They can have that tendency to be very perfectionistic, especially when it comes to doing their homework or activities that they really like. They have an excellent eye for aesthetics and decoration, they are very sensitive and appreciative of art, loving the idea of ​​personalizing and decorating the spaces in which they are.

To say that people with Scorpio in the 7th house take relationships seriously is an understatement, and I am not referring to the matter of seeking to get married quickly but to the level of emotional connection that they want with their partner. They are people who want to see beyond the sublime appearance of their partners, but rather the beauty, darkness, secrets, complexity and details of their soul. They long for a very deep emotional connection with that person to whom they swear forever. These people have the ability to make you feel completely loved, from those virtues that you have, to those things that you do not share due to fear or insecurity. They love completely and give absolutely everything in their relationships, which they expect in return. They can have a marriage in which the dynamic is very intense but above all very devoted, one in which your partner's matters become yours and vice versa, where you protect and show yourself completely to the other. Throughout their lives they may experience tense experiences in the field of love or even in any type of relationship. They may have a tendency to be overly wary of the intentions of others, bordering on distrust. They may fear never being able to be loved sincerely or never being able to enjoy the beauties and soft side of love. Future spouse is likely to be a person with very intense emotions, with a lot of appeal, self-confidence and a slightly more serious and mysterious appearance of that emotional and devoted interior.

The sensuality of those with Sagittarius in the 8th house is accompanied by a feeling of liberation, an insatiable curiosity and an open and inquisitive attitude towards sex. These natives are people who enjoy exploring every peak of all the pleasures of life. The emotion of connecting deeply with your partner, exploring every corner of your soul with each caress and reading the complex mind of your loved one with your gaze. Seduction becomes an exciting, fun and very enjoyable game for these natives. There is a deep desire to bring light to your partner's darkness and for your partner to do the same. Traveling through each part of their body becomes the journey they most fantasize about. For them, it is necessary that there be something deeper in the connections to be able to fully enjoy the relationship, that there is the feeling that they are on the same level, that the other person is interesting and open with them. There is a fear of getting lost in the superficiality of life, especially in the aspect of love. There is a feeling of hopelessness in them, the thought that faith is gradually disappearing from their being, the feeling of being left on their own, without guidance. They are very introspective people, sometimes they can spend a lot of time analyzing themselves in their minds. They have a very rich inner world, and a need to find deep and meaningful things in what seems to be a somewhat superficial life.

When we see Capricorn in the 9th house, we can be sure that we find a very intelligent person capable of standing out in the subject of their interest. A great mind that sees the harshness of the world and is aware of it from a very young age. Existential and deep questions are very common, and a tendency to pessimism can become greater if Saturn makes many harsh aspects. They are people who try to be realistic at all times, do not get carried away by the initial beauty of situations and seek to take into account all possible results. Their ambition leads them to want to acquire more and more knowledge, and they can have many academic achievements throughout their university years if they decide to attend it. They may have to work abroad, travel a lot thanks to work or interact with people from other countries because of it. They are very selective people with what they want to learn, they pass the information through filters and always prefer to create their own opinions on topics, especially the most complex or moral ones. As mentioned in the previous point, there may be a tendency to doubt that good things can happen to you, falling into a somewhat negative thinking regarding what you may or may not experience.

When Aquarius is in the 10th house, the native can work in fields related to science, astronomy, physics. It is a common placement for people with interests, skills and work as astrologers. They often choose a career different from what their family has chosen, or something that their family or others consider unusual. These people seek to make a change through their work, and they can also become very notable and remarkable in themselves. These people usually prefer and end up having a job that allows them to meet many people, experiment, learn new things and explore their originality and ideas. They tend to be people who attract attention very quickly, there is a peculiarity about them that makes them stand out from the crowd, likewise, from a young age they know that they want to be different compared to the people they grew up with or lived with when they were young. You can achieve great things if you work on your own, embrace your independence and authenticity. An idealistic and ambitious quality hides in them, these natives dream of achieving many things on their own and making themselves feel proud. They can more easily inspire the masses through their unique personality, perseverance, authenticity and ideas.

One of the things that is not usually mentioned with this rising is their enormous devotion to their friends and the great importance they give the natives in their life, this is given by Pisces in the 11th house. They are people who connect very deeply with their friends, being able to easily sense when they are emotionally bad and, likewise, knowing how to help them in the best way. It is very common for these people to send messages or seek to communicate with them just at the moments when their friends need it. They are the kind of friends who are there through thick and thin, who are a great emotional support and leave beautiful lessons in their friendships. For them it is crucial that their friendships can go through from the most lighthearted and fun moments to the deepest and most emotional ones. They stand out for their empathy and ease of understanding people well even if their experiences and background are completely different. They will seek to genuinely help those they see in poor conditions and treat them as equals instead of further marking their differences. They can have various incomes, but more in fields such as art, through activities in which they help others or even in esoteric matters. They have a great ability to solve other people's problems, usually problems that they find difficult to solve for themselves.

The inner desire to be an independent person and capable of resisting everything that life brings to them is born from the need for protection. What is left to do when there is nowhere or no one to find that stability? Will there even be stability in this turbulence called life? Within them lies someone active, intent on striving until they can finally find and enjoy some peace. A resounding fear in them comes from always being in search of something they cannot have: inner peace, a comfy and peaceful life. With Aries in the 12th house, everything feels fast and spontaneous, from their deepest emotions to the environments in which they grow. In their mind and subconscious are recorded all those times in which they had to stand up for themselves, times in which perhaps there was no one to rely on, in which they came to the conclusion of never being able to rely on anyone other than them. them, in having to tame the tides of life on their own. The fear that it would always be like this grew in them. Not many are allowed to know their core/what they really are for fear of different things, of getting hurt, of being judged, but in them we can find people full of passion, ambitions and with an endearing quality of joviality. They are somewhat restless and spontaneous people deep down, something that is not usually perceived by their calm appearance. They are gifted with a strong temperament, and although they are sweet and kind, they will not be afraid to bring out that impetus and anger if you hurt or touch something very personal to them. These people focus a lot and use a large part of their energy in facing their inner struggles, to which they never give up no matter how tense they may be. It is likely that at many points in your life you felt that in some cases you were about to lose the battle, but your perseverance and inner strength will mean that in the end you will be able to overcome those problems that you usually do not talk to anyone about.

[kaisaerinlover]

Hello! Your stories about big bro sae and rin are so so good and u're doing amazing btw. I was just wondering if we can get a lil bit of a backstory about when it all started, I'm actually really curious about it but no pressure tho u don't need to make it if u don't want to. Anyways I love your lil series about them🫶🥰

hi yes ofc!!!

tw: incest , darkcon

sae and rin always loved you as kids, but they also neglected you alot because you were the youngest itoshi. you’re 3 years younger than sae and 1 year younger than rin and also since you’re the only girl you weren’t really into football as much. they kind of ignored you a lot for football but they did love you. your parents paid more attention to your brothers than you because of their talents in football; also because rin was a bit badly behaved and destructive as a child, so he needed extra attention paid to him, but they didn’t ever teach the itoshi brothers about girls etc because they didn’t really have to. both brothers were only preoccupied with football, their parents were preoccupied with them and that just left the third forgotten daughter.

i think that they wanted three sons, so they gave up after they got a daughter as to not risk it, and as rin and sae grew up they really loathed that there wasn’t a third sibling who could also play soccer; so you were neglected.

probably rin and sae would have developed their weird love/attraction to you when they started going through puberty, because they didn’t really want to be around girls that much; you were the only girl either brother really ever interacted with. and they didn’t have much concept of social norms since they were so invested in soccer their whole lives; so by the time they actually learned it’s wrong they simply didn’t care anymore because their feelings were far too strong to deny. in spain as he got older, and the visits got fewer, sae would be sure to snap a few pics of you, or touch you a bit more than how a brother should his sister, and he would jerk off to it later on. his visits were sparse so he valued all of the time he spent with you, he doesn’t exactly remember when he started realising his feelings but he remembered one incident in specific when you were eating dinner at the table with your parents and rin too and he realised how much you really grew into yourself, you were beautiful. the same lashes as his but they make you look like a princess.

he didn’t fail to notice the way you and rin looked at each other too, the way rin was so… different? the way rin’s hand was on your thigh. the three of you aren’t even sure if your parents know, sae thinks they do know; thinks they don’t care as long as the youngest has a use which helps the two they actually care about excel in their sport.

rin’s attachment to you started after sae left to go to spain, as he grew up and you a little too, he realised you’re all he had left. he grew so attached to you and it turned into a deep attraction which you obviously shared. you loved both of your brothers and being a bit naive and more sheltered, you were less in tune with social norms. you really just went along with what rin wanted. rin never took any interest in other girls before (similarly to sae) and you were the only girl in his life who held any value to him. but nothing really happened yet, you just knew his feelings towards you and returned them graciously. but everything had changed when sae came back on that one particular occasion. it was the very first time he visited from spain, and rin saw the way sae eyed you up. they both felt the same way; rin harboured resentment towards sae so naturally he didn’t like it. he squeezed your thigh in a manner so crude, so unlike him. he wanted to show sae who really owned you.

and that’s how the weird rivalry started, that night, your brothers took your firsts. rin didn’t kiss you before, not properly anyway. sae was in spain by the time he realised his growing affections (and arousal) towards you, so he never got the chance. both of your brothers took all of your firsts. they were really in such a weird competition for you. it would be difficult though because when sae was in spain you tried to text him and call every day, and he indulged you when he could, but you would spend most of your time with rin. so rin and you were attached at the hip for the most part, but then sae would come back and you would cling to him because he would have been gone for so long.

but then rin left you too for blue lock, and they both stopped texting you as much, so then all you could do is watch your brothers play on the tv; the only boys you’ve ever loved; and you were alone at home with nothing. but they came back for you eventually, both did, and that’s how your love evened out a lot kinda. you love them both the same and they’re in their weird rivalry for you. it’s a really weird dynamic but that’s where you would be at right now.

it would honestly start because you guys just lacked supervision and actual attention from your parents. and because they prioritised your brothers over you and didn’t really deem you as their child, just an extension of rin and sae, that’s why if they are aware of anything going on between the three of you they don’t care. rin and sae can do what they want with you because they barely care at all, if it helps them in football and helps them relieve stress so be it. your parents know you’re a good girl (not in a weird way) anyway, and you wouldn’t distract rin and sae from their careers the way they can’t guarantee a girlfriend wouldn’t do either.

rin and sae are really both just perverts in disguise who love their sister far more than they could ever love any girl else. sae would literally steal ur panties whilst he was in spain just to jerk off into them, rin took 3 pairs with him to blue lock as well. they may have left you but the fruits of their hard work were so sweet in the end because now you are showered and pampered in affection every day by them, and their wealth means nothing to them, only if it can buy you a nice gift you like.

they’re just really fucked in the head perverts, and they had eyes for you since you were the only other girl in their life. but they do love you, they love you so much so don’t ever doubt it.

[dduane]

The first part of that last message got me curious -- given how long-running of a series YW is, how do you keep track of All That when writing a new entry? Copious amounts of notes? Re-reading the entire series backlog? Keeping a fully-functioning simulation of the entire YW universe running in your head with perfect accuracy? (only mostly joking with that last one)

And somewhat-relatedly, did you have any plan or idea when you started for how long YW would run? Or was it more of a "I'll keep writing about this universe until it stops churning out ideas," type of thing and that point just (very thankfully!) hasn't happened yet? I know for per-book purposes you're a proponent of outlining (I swear I'll try writing to one one day Q_Q) but do you also apply that to a series as a whole?

Let me take this backwards, as it may make more sense that way.

Particularly when doing series work, outlining is more vital than usual for me. (Which is saying a lot.) Some of the most basic reasons for this are laid out over here.

The simplest one, though, for series outlining, is logistical. Without having achieved a sense well in advance of what events (or effects of events) are going to be most formative or important (or both) for the characters in a series, you won't have allowed yourself time to think about them enough. And to fail to spend enough time on this is to cheat both yourself and the books in the series. (And your readership.)

If you're smart, you learn very early on that attempting to save time by shortchanging or omitting the planning stages is potentially profoundly destructive. You need to have a plan... and you need not to let anyone make you ashamed of needing one. Putting off your detailed character-interaction and event planning in the name of some magically occurring fit of inspiration, or theoretical bid toward creative spontaneity, will serve neither you nor your creation. You can throw "Hail Mary" passes all you like... but you'd better be damn sure there'll be someone in the end zone to receive. ...If not Herself.

...And just in case you're worried, your initial plans can be really loose! They don't have to jump out of your head full-formed like some local war goddess after somebody hits her dad in the head with an axe. The plan for the Middle Kingdoms books—after The Door Into Fire dumped me gasping by the side of the road and left me a few minutes to breathe—was nothing more than "Now that his boyfriend's finally upped the ante beyond all expectations, Freelorn finally gets off his feckless Would-Be Robin Hood shit and gets to work becoming king." I then spent the next decade thinking purposefully about how that was going to happen, and writing the second book in the series—while sufficiently working out the fine details of the climax (and beyond) to then be able to get busy executing the third book. Even though there was a change of publishers between the beginning of that series and the end of it, the basic dead-simple MK plan from a very early stage quickly became detailed and robust enough (because the series was short enough) to withstand the change. Not least because I'd been thinking about it in a general way since the early 1970s... and continue to do so, pretty much daily. The Door Into Starlight is still hanging fire...

YW has been a different story—quite literally—because the only plan extant at the start of things was, "Everybody slowly gets older (and slowly closer)." I always knew there were going to be more than the original three: there was way too much interesting ground to cover to just stop with those. (I've never yet succeeded in finding out who started the rumor that there were only going to be three books. Over time it's become one of those things you just shrug at and move on.)

(Adding a break here, because this does go on a bit. Caution: contains publishing skullduggery, plans ganging aft agley, approximate word counts, software recommendations, and value judgments.)

("Now wait just one minute. 'Feckless would-be Robin Hood shit'? Can she just say that??")

The circumstances surrounding the writing of Deep Wizardry and High Wizardry, though, made it plain to me that I was not going to be at the then-publisher (Dell) all that much longer. By the time HW came out, they were already starting to pull away from midlist books and authors in order to spend that part of the budget on best-sellers... so it became plain to me that attempting to construct a long arc with/at that publisher would have been folly. Because who could be sure what was going to happen next, and blow everything I'd built to smithereens?

Sure enough, when I finished A Wizard Abroad, Dell declined to pick it up (even though the books had been selling steadily and increasingly strongly in paperback). This annoying validation of my concerns—and my shiny new agent's—made it plain to me that further books in the series were going to need to be thematically driven, rather than mostly character-event-driven, and almost entirely capable of being taken as standalones. Any long arc was going to have to be one that could be suspended, or reworked, with little warning. Because what happens to you once, in publishing, doesn't at all mean you're immune to it after that.

It wasn't until the YW books were picked up by Harcourt in the mid-90s, with a strong editorial team behind them, that I felt confident enough to start building longer-arc material into the books, beginning with the arc that kicks off in The Wizard's Dilemma and more or less completes in Wizard's Holiday and Wizards At War. There is a secondary (and I assume, generally less obvious) arc that picks up material still unhandled in the "War Arc," and deals with it in A Wizard of Mars and Games Wizards Play. But plans for those stories' management were already nailed down in electrons as soon as 2001, because I had made some early choices about where I was going with the characters and their situations; and as new books came out, my editors agreed with me that the choices had been sound, and should remain.

I'll say this only because I've said it before: there is one piece of business planted in So You Want To Be A Wizard that has never been explicitly dealt with/followed up on in any of the books, and is at the core of YW #11. For the moment, it's safest merely to say that I do not willingly leave loose ends hanging. Beyond that, I'll leave you all to your own deductions.

...Now. How do I keep track of all this stuff? (The urge to mutter "With great difficulty" and run off into the wings is strong. But never mind.) :)

The question's fair, as there's a million-plus words' worth of it in the series at the moment. ...Mostly my guide remains the books themselves, in ebook form (in their NME versions. If I need to, I refer back to the traditionally published versions as necessary). I normally have a general memory of where a given event happens or where a given issue comes up for handling. I then pull that copy of the ebook(s) in question, and do a search on various useful target phrases until I find what I'm after, and where it leads.

For new work, or stuff not yet committed to what passes for canon, I do have lots of notes. Some of them are actually out in public, at the currently-being-revised Errantry Concordance (though they're not in any form that anyone but me will recognize). Others are tucked away in the notes sections of pertinent Scrivener files—this being one of the most valuable things about Scrivener, as far as I'm concerned: the ability to store project notes in the project itself as opposed to "all over the damn place." Others yet are in my iPad, as either typing or dictation, and get transferred to other files/formats as necessary.

But the very first thing that happens, when a new work comes into train, is an outline. Sometimes a hilariously simple one, sometimes one with more detail in the middle than at the beginning or the end. Doesn't matter what shape it starts in. All notes, scraps, prose chunks, random thoughts, and midnight cogitations, get slotted into place in this until it's ready to be organized and sent off to an editor. And this outline—no matter how fragmentary or how polished—remains ready to hand at all times until I've finished with correcting the book's ARC and am looking at the release date.

And then I zip it up and put it away where I can find it later if I need to... because some other plan, still in the building stages, may need something in that one that never happened, but now has its chance. Because in YW, as everywhere else in my work, it's so often about the things that have always almost happened... until they do.

...Anyway: HTH!

[onioety]

Insane (as in 'I'm crazy') aesthetic-philosophical mini-analysis of Squid Game, taking In-Ho’s books as starting point.

This painting by Magritte is actually part of a "collection", or an extended project, in which he painted twenty-seven slightly different versions of the same scene, between 1949 and 1964.

In all of them we can see what seems to be an intrinsic contradiction: the sky is clear and evokes a dayscape while the lower part of the painting portrays a nightscape, only illuminated by the lighting of a lamppost and the interior of a house, which appears in all versions of the painting. These two elements are the common link between the works and, in addition, they ensure lighting at night, giving an element of permanent illumination to the darkness.

For Magritte, this painting represents the convergence of a duality that is not such: night and day can be at the same time, wakefulness and slumber, darkness and light. The antinomian conception of such elements is not.

In-Ho having this painting in his room not once but three times is quite curious and representative, portraying both the reality of the character within fiction and his own subjectivity and beliefs as a fictional individual. Squid Game deals at length with the theme of human nature and presents a challenge to the classic simplistic construction of characters based on watertight categories that include "goodness" and "evil". Like everything real, nothing is entirely positive or negative; It is more natural for night and day to coexist than concieving them as separate and dichotomous entities.

Just as Gihun is a kind-hearted and altruistic protagonist, who at the same time can be selfish, unaware and clumsy, In-Ho is an antagonist who could by no means remain solely in the shadows. The dividing line between one notion and the other is fictitious and even in the depths of the night, the interior of a home or a lamppost can provide a last glimmer of luminosity to darkness.

At the same time, beyond human nature and the principles that have been so deeply held, the rupture of the three spheres of the aesthetic field (goodness, beauty and virtue), this work speaks to us of an absurd rupture with the established that, by breaking, generates a new vision. This way of seeing transcends the principle of non-contradiction and shows us that the world, which we believed in a certain way, is not such. There is no privileged form of apprehension of reality, there is no beginning or ultimate order, no God as the guiding principle of reality.

This connects with the work of Nietzsche that In-Ho has among the books on his shelf, which I speculate may be Thus Spoke Zarathustra. One of the author's best-known works and probably the most relevant in terms of his metaphysics, in it he talks about the "death of God", not understood as a Christian God but as this "guiding principle" of which we spoke. That is, he proposes that the end of Realism has arrived, of the belief that there is a direct and apprehensible correspondence of reality, of what Is, assured by a figure or principle that generates order and allows us to access it. It may well be the God of St. Thomas, the pantheistic gods as natural forces of Espinosa or the First Mover of Aristotle.

This book opens the door to the ill-conceived nihilism; What does this mean? For Nietzsche, the awareness of the absence of a guiding principle leads us to a terrible dilemma: if there is not something or someone that establishes what is and what is not, or what is good or bad, what happens to value? What has value and what doesn't? Is it all indifferent? We can refer to the Leibniz-Newton discussion about God and possible worlds: How can God choose which world is better if they are all essentially equal and there are no criteria for choosing one over the other?

Thanks to this scene from episode five of the first season we can make interesting connections. This moment occurs after In-Ho learns that some of the soldiers (who traffic with organs) are passing clues to one of the players (the doctor, Byeong-Gi, player 111). In-Ho says he takes the situation especially seriously because it breaks the backbone principle of The Games; equality. In fact, in his speech, he talks about how he considers that people who play have been systematically socially discriminated and that this is a place in which they are allowed to be equal and free.

His fixation with this moral principle is fairly curious and the firmness with which he defends it, considering that for Il-Nam the games were "fun" and the VIPs of the first season bet on the players as if they were "horses" (Gihun's exact words in the first episode of the second season). None of them seems particularly interested in conceiving that place as a space of equality and non-discrimination, much less as a resource that allows the "salvation" of a single individual, endemically oppressed and socially tortured, only In-Ho.

We also appreciate this in the penultimate game of the first season, in which players have to pass the glass bridge. In-Ho decides to adjust the light after verifying that one of the players worked in a glass factory, because that made him able to distinguish which glasses were tempered and which were not, "seeing something that the others could not see". This decision has nothing to do with "providing more excitement to the game", pleasing the VIPs or with a possible joy in adding one more deceased to the list of 452. It is a question of morality, of justice, of the preservation of equality.

Going back to the scene from the first season: the fictional sky painted on the walls of the room where all this action takes place has almost Magrittian clouds, the blue is rather vivid, bordering on the daytime. However, as in Empire of Light, we know that it is night. At night, the Frontman, dressed entirely in black, contrasts with a luminous sky. What or where is his lamppost and the light from the windows that illuminate him? What is the daylight that coexists with the prominently nocturnal nature of his being and The Games? In the absence of a Day, of a God, the only thing left for him is to impose a guideline, providing sense and meaning. To generate value, Freud would say, we part from an eros, an irrational erotic need. When we talk about eroticism, we are talking about a sensitive, moral and subjective impulse that transcends the plane of rationality, a value generated not because it is believed to be right but because it feels right.

Talking about psychoanalysis and that eros takes us back to another of the books that In-Ho has in his collection:  Lacan's Theory of Desire. Halfway between philosophy and psychoanalysis, the Lacanian theory of desire talks about absence. Desire is a "veil" that clouds death and that is the result of life, intrinsically linked to language, and language is life and body. In addition, desire is born out of absence, of the need for something non-existent or non-present, which goes hand in hand with dissatisfaction.

For Lacan, this dissatisfaction is endemic and unnatural or instinctive. He equates instinct with pulsion, assimilating the former to the animal and the latter to the human, and affirms that desire is in no way remediable or can be fulfilled. Pulsion is human, linguistically based, unnatural (insofar as it is non-biological) and insatiable.

Since we are not animals and it is pulsion and not the instinct that we experience, our generation of desires cannot have an end, although pulsion must be satisfied, the desire is not. We desire above biological faculty or necessity and desire things that far transcend what we want.

For Lacan, the satisfaction of the pulsión without any kind of limit leads us to death. Destruction and pulsión-pulsion are two human realities very close to each other. However, desire can also be antinomian topulsion, understood as a pure absence. Where there is desire there is absence and the maintenance of a desire is the suspense of the execution of a pulsión.

All these impulses, pauses and continuations, are constantly seen in the reality of the characters of the series. Succumbing to pulsions to the point of death or despair but also putting pulsions in suspense, falling into the absence of desire. A desire that in some is shown as an erotic void guided by a moral value, that of stopping atrocities, that of believing in humanity, despite living with a long course of passionately satisfied drives; horse racing, alcohol, tobacco...

Again, we return to the concept of value. And we do so with The Stranger, by Albert Camus, exploring another of the books in In-Ho's collection. Camus writes this book in France in 1942, showing from the most absolute subjectivity of the protagonist how an individual inhabits a world without value. There is a lack of value in the most purely Nietzschean sense, as a guiding principle, and at the same time emotional and subjective.

For Meursault, the protagonist, there is no room for courage in a world degraded to the absurd, which only generates apathy and meaninglessness. Death seems to be shown as the only way to escape, to recover courage, to generate a morality, to recover existence.

Perhaps that idea of death as redemption or the only possible way out of the absolute absence of value is the one that No-Eul claims or the one that, in some way, In-Ho is "gifting" to players.

Finally, I wanted to talk about another of the books, The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger. Published in the 50s of the twentieth century, it follows the leitmotif of other novels of its time, such as The Bell Jar by Plath or No Longer Human by Dazai Osamu: young adult faces the reality of a decadent and worthless world. However, one of the internal struggles of the protagonist, Holden, lies in his need to provide himself with this value, from a moral point of view and that borders on the martyr. Holden wants to make a change in himself by making sense of the world.

"The mark of an immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one," Mr. Antolini (his teacher) tells Holden. Contrary to Sartre's idea of death as a provider of meaning, here we see a generation of value that binds you to life, even if it is a life that confronts you, that ties you forcibly against the pleasure of death. Gihun lives for a noble cause, his courage and his meaning lie in stopping the games and only for this reason can he bear the weight of life, against all impulses. In-Ho needs his life to have a cause, a motive, a value. That's why games have this capacity for redemption and justice, to generate equality, to him. Without this, only death would remain.

[danieyells]

Ambition Theorizing

So the Weighing of Souls examines the ambition you have in your head when you touch the mannequin and assigns you a house. Obscuary isn't assigned that way--Obscuary is assigned based on deemed absence of humanity while being a ghoul--but every other house is. Starting from your second year you can change houses but your first year you're stuck wherever the Weighing placed you.

Hyde gives a small general overview of the values of each house which kind of gives you a hint at what the nature of the ambitions could be.

So here's some ideas of mine for what everyone's ambitions are, and what the general ambition of each house is. (Haru and Rui are briefly mentioned at the end included due to their original houses not being stated. Yuri is under both Frostheim and Mortkranken due to speculation.)

I'm curious about what you all think as well, if you have thoughts of your own regarding the general ambition of each house and the ghouls in them! And where you place your OCs and self inserts based on their ambitions lol

Also if i forgot anybody let me know because i feel like i did

Frostheim - Success By Any Means Necessary

Jin - revenge for his mother. The power to overcome or escape his father and perhaps gain some control over his own life.

Kaito - to be somebody and make something of himself. Popularity, companionship, never being alone.

Lucas - to subjugate demons and get his twin back. To protect his loved ones at any cost.

Haku - control over his own life and future. The ability to escape his family and their pressure?

Yuri - success and acclaim. Influence within the field of anomalous medicine. There's something to do with his mother as well, although we aren't sure what yet.

Vagastrom - Ideals, Reform, Innovation

Alan - reform for himself. The opportunity to protect others, rather than harm others like he had once done. He can't live without regret, but maybe he can make up for his past instead.

Tohma - change for the world or the Institue or Darkwick? Tohma seems to be focused on preparing Jin to inherit his father's position as President of the Institute and make changes that will better Darkwick and the Institute. However we don't know to what end he wants to see things change or for what purpose--but we know he wants to make some sort of difference and is presently using Jin and Darkwick and whoever else he can for that.

Leo - hostile reform, for an ideal world. The opportunity to make the people who make life suck suffer and pay for doing so, so he can live without struggle.

Shohei - an ideal world? Sho's ambition is hard to pin down, but it seems like he'll use others to get ahead--but also be used in turn. Sho strikes me as someone who values freedom and wants to go where he wants and do what he wants, able to pursue whatever interest or whim strikes his fancy without restraint.

Jabberwock - Trust, Care, Loyalty

Towa - to love and be loved in turn. Perhaps to find his soulmate. I would say 'to protect those weaker than him' but learning that love is what changed him and he was once more cruel than he is now makes me question is he would have an ambition like that when he got there. In fact, I suspect that love wasn't his ambition at all(though he still loved romance and soulmates and the like, he just wasn't driven by love) when he arrived, but until we have hints that he was, in fact, not in Jabberwock from the start, I'll leave him here.

Ren - to find somewhere he can feel safe and valued despite how he is. To find people he can trust.

Sinostra - Power, Coming Out On Top

Taiga - strength and power. To be unstoppable. In the past, Taiga was one of the most successful ghouls as far as missions and anomaly capture and such went, but eventually he pivoted to just destruction. He no longer seems to care about the outcomes that he used to--although who knows how that'll change when Sinostra's probation gets lifted, with the Laurel Crown on the line, since he does seem interested in profit.

Romeo - replacing what he's lost. Regaining wealth and maintaining what's his. Building up something and keeping that. Once upon a time Romeo's family lost everything. He won't let that happen again and he won't let anyone destroy what he's built.

Ritsu - gaining the Laurel Crown. Acquisition of clients that will skyrocket his career and put him on top as a lawyer. Victory.

Hotarubi - Individuality, Creativity

Subaru - the opportunity to find himself. Freedom from the judgement of others. While I'm sure he loves acting, he has been doing it since he was four years old. The eyes on him make him afraid of their opinions and he feels like he has to live to meet others' expectations. But he'd like to be able to find out what he wants to do, if not be given the opportunity to live how he wants to.

Zenji - the opportunity to make masterpieces. Finding inspiration.

Mortkranken - Knowledge, Intelligence

Yuri - mastery of anomalous medicine. To be able to back up his talk with actual genius.

Jiro - understanding his illness? Learning more about anomalies in general? Jiro's ambition is hard to pin down due to his poor memory and general indifference towards most things. However between that he said he woke up with knowledge of anomalous infectious disease one day and just decided to keep studying it, and that his response to hearing about the anomaly that cursed the PC was that he would study every inch of it if it were in front of him suggests that he's interested in learning things and studying anomalies a great deal. His max affinity line is that your curse may be related to his field of study so your death would be inconvenient. Despite how impassive he is, he is passionate about study, so it seems like it would be a fitting ambition for him--he came to school, he wants to study.

(additional speculation on defunct house ambitions:

Dionysia - Freedom, Happiness, Embracing Life

Dionysus is the god of wine and festivity, among other things. I imagine Dionysia's general ambition is "live life to the fullest." I think Rui was from here before he was cursed and transferred to Obscuary.

Clementia - Mercy, Salvation, Peace

Clementia is the goddess of clemency, mercy, forgiveness, salvation, etc. The house is in a cathedral and they historically would perform exorcisms. I imagine their general ambitions are protecting others and keeping the peace with anomalies, keeping balance in the world. I speculate that Haru was here before he transferred to Jabberwock when it was dissolved, as Haru expresses the desire to protect the lives of the people and anomalies in Jabberwock and regrets being unable to save anyone or anything dear to him when chosen in the pre-prologue. He also says Calamari and its mother should be allowed to escape, lest the balance of nature in the ocean be disrupted, suggesting that maintaining the balance is something he prioritizes.

Ultio - Judgement, Structure, Law

Ultio is a goddess of vengeance and revenge. The house of Ultio housed a prison for anomalies deemed too dangerous for human exposure, which Darkwick took over themselves when Ultio was dissolved. I imagine the general ambition of the house is control of anomalies and power over others in a more "lawful" way than Sinostra exhibits. I headcanon that Towa was in Ultio due to his historic hostility/indifference towards the small and weak and his existing tendency to bully anomalies, as well as their tendency to obey and fear him. I imagine, if Ultio were still around, Ritsu could have been sorted into it if his ambitions leaned towards law and order over his own power, influence, and victory. However Ritsu, as a defense attorney, could have also been placed into Clementia if his desires leaned towards granting clemency to the guilty if you use similar logic. . . .

If not for Obscuary, I imagine Lyca would have been assigned Jabberwock or Clementia due to his desire to live peacefully with humans, and Ed would have been assigned Dionysia due to his relaxed nature, or maybe even Ultio as an inversion of his belief that humans will lose their dominance as a species and have to submit to anomalies someday.)

But, yeah! Those are my speculations. What do you all think.

[zluty-spendlik]

WAKFU REDESIGN SERIES PART 3 - ADAMAÏ

Hiya, Im back lmaooo - took me long enough

I have been struggling with Ad's and Am's design so much. I dont know why. With Amalia, Im going to have to start over- again- 4th times the charm Im sure - but I finally finished this little guy!

ADAMAÏ IS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER GUYS IM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS I LOVE HIM SM

But anyway, here is the final (human form) design:

Im aware he has multiple forms since hes, you know, a shapeshifter, and Im going to add them i promise but im like super tired and burnt out from the rest of my mortal life rn

Anyway, to the DESIGN.

Honestly, Adamais og design kinda sucks. Im sorry (not rlly). He doesnt look similar to Yugo at all - YES I KNOW HES A DRAGON - which bothers me a lot, even his color scheme is a lot different from his literal twin...

In my version, I wanted Ad to look deer-like at first, since I gave Yugo deer features, but then I drew him over and over again until I got this fusion of a moth and a lamb or smthing..

I don't know, but I really like it!

The outfit he's wearing is actually what I plan to be an official eliatrope/dragon robe? Both Grougal and Qilby will be wearing it and - potentially - Yugo in season 3. It has some portal imagery (the spiral on the back), and I don't know I just think it's neat!

ALSO WAKFU FRECKLES-

Season 1

Ad has been raised by Grougaloragran (least complicated name ever, wtf Ankama :3) and with Eliatrope/Dragon traditions, so hes very knowledgable of the now dead culture and values it very much. He loves talking to Yugo about it (he gets almost bored sometimes, but he would never admit it to Adamaï).

He, just like Yugo, is extremely curious and loves studying the way Wakfu works and its limits.

And mainly, he loves Grougal, whom he sees as an idol and a father figure. Which is why hes so hurt when he gets killed by Nox.

It feels like the whole world is collapsing on him. His mentor, care-taker, father, LITERALLY THE ONLY OTHER "PERSON" HE EVER INTERACTED WITH AND THE ONLY OTHER DRAGON ALIVE, is gone.

Adamaï has noone. Well- almost noone. Theres this little 12 year old Eliatrope, his only hope, his only anchor.

And he asks you: "Uh, sorry, whats your name again?"

Season 2

HAHSHA LETS TRAUMATIZE THE BOY!! (Even more than he is) Like I said, Adamaï values his culture and people very much, so I assume he would get very, I mean extremely attached to Yugo. However, Yugo is not actually interested in the same things Adamaï is interested in, which makes him a little bit more avoidable of Ad than he should be, given his emotional state.

Not that we blame him. So instead Ad seeks out a new anchor, a new mentor, a new... idol. Who is that you may ask?

Well, it's Qilby of course. Now here's where the funny trauma part happens, because Adamaï starts blurring the line between Grougal and Qilby.

Qilby's mistakes suddenly don't matter as much because Adamaï cares about him as much as he cared about Grougaloragran even though they don't know each other that long (which is the core of the problem).

Anything he'll be does that is morally questionable suddenly isn't bad, because that's not the mentor that Adamaï was raised with ‐ he trust Grougal completely, so why should Qilby be aby different?

So when Qilby betrays him, Adamaï is all the more surprised and hurt. It doesn't help that he really doesn't want to hurt Qilby: Even though he finally realizes that Qilby is a bad person, Adamaï still sees him as an anchor. He might be bad, but other than Yugo he's the only other person Adamaï has.

So of course he loses the fight, of course he gets captured – he doesn't actually want Qilby to get hurt.

Season 3-4 (5?)

Okay let's make one thing clear, I'm a bit of a hater.

Like I genuinely really dislike season 3 and what it has going on with making Adamaï a villain? I really don't think it fits his character, and I would much prefer for the story to have Yugo and Ad grow closer and revive their culture despite all the horrors and terrible things that have been bestowed up on them - But the writers have decided to go the obvious evil twin route which honestly makes my blood boil..

so I don't think I will be even considering rewriting season 3? I think to make it likeable for myself - as this is a self-indulgent project - I would just have to make my own season 3?

If that makes sense?

Art dump!! (Seriously my sketchbook is filled w this lil guy, these r hand picked) And- woah, is that Cleophée redesign? Maybeee~

@saturnyukaa i was looking forward to ur reaction 👉👈

[myfriendpokey]

tunnel notes

i wrote some extra little notes and thoughts for the bonus tunnels in anthology of the killer, and then removed them before release; i didn't like the prescriptive feeling of leaving that stuff in the "final package" as if it was something people should feel obligated to engage with. but as of today it's been 30 days since the loader came out, so i figured i'd dump some of them online, for the benefit of whoever is interested in these things.

History: HISTORY IS A NIGHTMARE FROM WHICH I AM TRYING TO AWAKE is one of many famous zingers given to Stephen in Ulysses and I’ve always wondered if it’s especially Irish as a sentiment, Ireland sort of feeling like the “Oops! All Peasants” edition of European history as a whole – same misery, exploitation and death minus the occasional episodes of feudal colour or triumphant empire-building that seem to make the past tolerable for other people, and give them their own sense of demarcated time. But then I’ve never been much good on Irish history, which has always just felt like an interminable, indistinguishable series of massacres and betrayals and missed shots. Was I not paying attention or was this how it was taught in school? Well, it would have fit the style at the time – I was born in 1989, smack at the start of the famous end of history era. The 90s in Ireland meant the peace process and infusion of American capital to our backwards shores, all the more reason to cosign the idea of an abrupt and permanent break with a history notably lacking in the non-depressing or picturesque. All our history textbooks seemed to trail off at the point we’d joined the EEA. And even as this new modernity just started seeming like the monstrous antiquity dressed up in different clothes – hooded prisoners transported to torture sites through Shannon airport, our patchy social infrastructure dismantled by burghers, ghost estates and half-completed monuments scattered around like the ruin theory of value with more leprechaun imagery – there was still a sense that any change was off the table. You didn’t want to drag us back into history, did you? History seemed to have “ended” in the same sense Freddy Krueger did – done away with in ways that none of the grown-ups ever wanted to talk about, and now officially a non-presence, even if all the kids in town were mysteriously disappearing.

--

Art: One reason I wanted to do an episodic series is just to see what would turn up, if any recurring interests would build despite a minimum of planning. One of the themes turned out to be, “art” – or specifically modernist art – and I am curious about why that would be. A recurring tendency in modernism was the idea that only by destroying the world as it currently existed could we clear space for anything better to emerge. Under the cobblestones, the beach! But this was always attended by a kind of fear: that clearing away the old structures would just allow something even worse to emerge, unmasked. Under the cobblestones, more corpses! And that the bleakest tendencies of the period would now run free without even the emptiest symbolic constraints to chafe against. Max Ernst’s painting of the fascist victory in Spain, of a huge, grinning oaf rampaging over the landscape like a kaiju while a miserable birdlike figure remains haplessly grafted to its leg – is titled both “The Angel Of Hearth And Home” and “The Triumph Of Surrealism”. As if to suggest that these are each the same thing, as though a cause of creative liberation worth devoting your life to and an empty cliché of domestic repression had so little light between them as to not even be worth the effort of distinguishing.

Part of the reason works like that make their way into the games in little ways is because I just like them, and go back to thinking about them. But the status of modernism in the 21st century is an odd one; the most tentative and inventive parts got dropped, while the brashest and stupidest aspects curdled into a kind of official state ideology – the idea of “creative destruction”, which just seems to mean a vague sense that it’s punk rock to create ridesharing apps. The monkey’s paw curled and the emptiest version of the modernist credo became something we all have to live with.. and yet I still can’t help but be moved by the source works and the goofy, ridiculous temerity of that wish to transfigure the world. sometimes it feels like only way to keep faith with those ideas is to travesty them, to try returning to them some of that sense of fear and doubt without which they just sound like so many web design agency manifestos. Kept alive in the breast of so many grimacing waxworks, underground.

Another reason to put this stuff in a horror game: to try getting at that feeling in a dream of looking in the eyes of people you know, people you love, and seeing nothing there anymore, seeing them look right past you. An earlier horror game idea I used to think about would have ended with the protagonist being dismembered and eaten by Gertrude Stein.

--

The moral: I’ve seen people express a sense, now, that merely working in the negative is not enough; to just outline what’s bad without also trying to give a vision of the good, some glimpsed utopia to shoot for. For the benefit of these people here is an epilogue. Imagine it’s the future and the long nightmare of prehistory is over; history proper unfolds as the full expression of human powers unhindered by material subjugation. Some students are given an assignment by a professor to investigate the meaning of a term that no longer exists, the meaning of horror. Well, the students do their best: they watch lots of old movies, put on rubber masks, comb through old fragments of the world that was. They’re enjoying themselves and that enjoyment warps the process, they keep drifting into pleasure, unsure what’s meant to be funny and what’s not. They get lost, get confused, lose the thread, famous faces appear under the wrong names, espousing things that are the opposite of whatever they believed. In the end they all have to admit defeat: they hand in their assignment with a note saying that in the new world, we can’t even imagine what horror may have been. The professor reads their findings, nods, and gives them all an F. No moral.

[image source: James Ensor, "The Intrigue"]

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

One of the more interesting aspects of Stayed Gone is the implication that, prior to his disappearance, Alastor must have been producing some quality programming.

Despite it's obvious importance in the modern world, TV apparently only started outcompeting radio in Hell after Alastor vanished. Seven whole years ago. And when Al returns, Vox's first response is to freak the fuck out about whether he's gonna keep his audience.

That's fucking crazy.

And we can be pretty sure that people weren't just listening in out of fear, either. Or because Alastor was making any major effort to crush all other forms of media.

If this was purely about which Overlord was the most powerful, then Vox's verses would surely have focused on emphasising his own strength. Instead, they're all about calling radio outdated. Vox is genuinely worried— apparently based on experience— that Alastor is going to outdo him in terms of sheer entertainment value.

Which raises the obvious question: what were Al's shows actually like? (Aside from those early broadcasts guest-starting the screams of the damned, obviously.)

We get kind of a taster in the song:

“Salutations! Good to be back on the air. Yes, I know it's been a while, since someone with style treated Hell to a broadcast— Sinners, rejoice!— instead of a clout-chasing mediocre video podcast. Is Vox insecure, pursuing allure? Fitting between this fad and that, is nothing working? Every day, he's got a new format! Is Vox as strong as he purports? Or is it based on his support? He'd be powerless without the other Vees! And here's the sugar on the cream: he asked me to join his team! I said no, and now he's pissy, that's the tea!”

Obviously he's doing it to music, so there's going to be some difference in the cadence of his voice from that, but still, he's talking noticeably quicker than he does in person. And he gets right to the point.

Compare it to his commercial in episode 1. There's a big difference in terms of both how much respect he's showing his audience (“well hello there, you wayward sinner!” vs “good to be back on the air”), and how much relevant information he delivers.

Alastor is a great character to watch, but most people who interact with him directly seem to find the experience either annoying, awkward, terrifying or all three.

Mainly because Al seems to go out of his way to put people off even when he's actively trying to get them to trust him, by making condescending asides or constantly dropping references to his own power. On air, however, he greets everyone politely and even drops what is almost an apology for being gone so long (“I know it's been a while”), then immediately gets to the information that he knows they're really listening for.

Alastor may not respect Charlie, Adam or Lucifer, but he does respect his audience.

And the content he's producing makes it clear why people are still tuning in. Al has the gossip. Katie Killjoy and Tom Trench may not be unbiased exactly, but they're clearly trying to provide sources for their claims and maintain some veneer of professional news reporting.

Al, meanwhile, is quite happy to provide strong opinions and baseless speculation about public figures, content that is less fitting with the professional image that Vox seems so desperate to keep up, but that is likely to attract a bigger audience.

What gets me curious now, however, is wondering what else he used to provide.

Again, radio was apparently the medium for news and entertainment in Hell until Alastor left. Implying that a) radio was at the time fulfilling many of the function that TV now provides, and b) Alastor was involved enough in this that it collapsed/got overthrown the moment he left town.

Did Alastor have an empire similar to the Vees? Did he run a bunch of channels? Did he have DJs and sports commentators and presenters on his payroll?

Given that radio seems to have collapsed completely after he left— did they all go running to Vox when he was presumed dead? Was the Vees new empire in part built on the ruins of Alastor's old one?

Or did he do the whole thing solo and just run like, a bunch of different shows. (In which case, since radio's bread and butter has always been music, Helluva Boss fans can now have fun imagining him interviewing Verosika Mayday about ‘Vacay to Bonetown’.)

[13leaguestories]

Hello! I just wanted to say that I finished playing Ruben’s route and Superstition all seasons, and absolutely loved both!! I really like the way language was used to shape the imaginary world given to the player, and as an aspiring if writer I have some questions if you don’t mind :) 

How do you arrange/figure out the plot? Do you write it linearly or do you think of an ending first and other major events? I am just curious how the pieces to the puzzle are arranged 

How do you plan out the characters and their values? Basically, any tips to flesh out characters better/ make them feel alive? 

What parts of writing do you usually focus on? Action/ choices/ romance? Any tips for those or challenges encountered when writing them? (also any other writing tips you’d give to your past self?)

And lastly, how do you keep motivation over a project like this that can take a good while for it to be completed? 

I am just writing this because throughout this game I found myself really engaged with it and I want to distribute the same good feeling. Looking forward to Zarik’s route in Toa and thank you again for making such amazing games !!

Let me see if I can put thoughts into words lol.

So it all depends cos for example Superstition/Sea of Stars/For the Crown all came from linear books that I decided to convert into choose your story and so that gives you a beginning, middle, end. It's actually harder this way because now you have to set up "well this kind of MC may not choose this" and inserting branches but they all have to work towards that same end. Whereas with Throne of Ashes, which is pure dee off the noggin, it's a slower process, yes, but has more freedom.

So, to answer your question, I do both. But my process is the same to where I write down the beginning and end then do an act or beat structure to fill in the gaps.

2. Oof, I could go all day about character creation. Love that shit. To make it as short as I can though, I usually just find a bunch of tropes I like, some traits, what I want their main issue and goal to be then toss them in a blender. I think one of the biggest things to ask is: if they were the MC would the story still be intriguing or could you still have a perfectly fitted story. If the answer is yes, good job. No, then well, back to the drawing board. I have so much to say about this one but this thing will be an essay if I go off on this subject lmfao. Like, I love characters so much and the psychology behind them.

3. I usually put a ton of focus into character interactions, dialogue, and lore/world building. I hate action/fighting scenes, definitely a weakness. Romance ... is ... interesting. For me, I don't care a tremendous much but the bulk of your audience is probably reading for the romance, let's be honest. My biggest tip is read. Read books. Like if you don't like horror, still read them. Don't like romance? Still read them. Expand your ability to write different things. No one is saying you need to be an expert on romance tropes but knowing and understanding how that kind of story should move and how that relationship evolves is important. Know what makes a mystery good, or horror scary.

4. ... it's a mix of motivations. Motivating myself is there but it's a rollercoaster. Like right now, I could probably sit down and write two chapters of SoS because I'm excited. But the same can't be said for ToA. Friends and people messaging me telling me how excited they are and how much they enjoy it is a great motivation too. Something that tells me, "hey, there's a reason you're doing this and if you stopped then it would effect something other than you." Of course, you shouldn't put all your motivation in outside forces but having people care help. So for all you lurkers that say "no, I'd just be annoying" trust me, I haven't had one convo with an artist or writer who has said "I don't like being told that someone appreciates my work."

And for you, Anon, good luck! Don't be dismayed if your passion for your current project starts to sway or just stops, it happens and forcing yourself won't help. But, I do hope that you do enjoy and find all of your projects completed. Nothing but good vibes for you and your present and future creative projects.

[moociaoafterdark]

Alright! HoruSang time! Modern AU, either High School or University, take your pick, though I'd go with the former. Both Horus and Sanguinius are popular senior years, model students with exemplary performance. The two are practically inseparable, and it's not a secret that the two are extremely close and value each other. Both boys are put on the pedestal and represent both their family and their school, so, there's an image to uphold. While Horus has difficulty trying to live up to the expectations, Sanguinius is having difficulty with maintaining it. While Horus has pretty basic and normal "guy interests", Sanguinius is different. He loves art, poetry, singing, which while is considered "soft and feminine" are still seen as normal and appropriate for a boy. However, when Sanguinius was introduced to goth culture things... changed. On one hand, he was instantly in love with how beauty clashed with the macabre. He learned more and more until he eventually stumbled upon the phenomenon of "gothic lolita fashion". He couldn't resist it, those girls in such pretty dresses... He wanted to dress like that. Horus found out about his brother's newfound interest pretty soon, Sanguinius told him practically right away, and while he was taken aback and confused at first, he still accepted his brother and helped him. When Sanguinius finally dressed the way he wanted to, Horus went from "accepting" to "supportive". Very, very supportive. He couldn't deny just how beautiful, if not hot, Sanguinius looked like in a long frilly dress, curly pigtails and a bright happy smile on his face. Little by little, they developed the routine in which Sanguinius could freely express himself without worrying about his image. That is, he pretends to be Horus' friend who is from a different school that he met one day. Horus and this cute goth "girl" were often seen together in places the former usually visited with his brother: park, cafes, city's library, shops, pet stores. Some people began to speculate that, perhaps, something happened and the two brothers had a falling out. Other's however deduced that this goth "girl" must be Horus' girlfriend! It's obvious, is it not? The thing that finally broke the close brotherly bond... was young love! The rumors spread and while everyone questioned how such a normal guy like Horus could be interested in someone like that girl, most people figured it was the case of "opposites attract". The news have also reached the father of the boys', who, for the most part, seemed... okay with it. Occasional teasing reminders to "wrap it up" were embarrassing for Horus, but, he could tolerate it. It was for Sanguinius, after all, anything to make his brother happy. Sure, the rumors are embarrassing to them, but, they both should've seen them coming. It's not ideal, but, it's tolerable. After all, those are just rumors, they're not, like actually into each other and dating... right? Bonus: For the fem!HoruSang, because I was curious how this would work for two girls, instead of two boys. I think Sanguinia would still be the crossdresser, a true bifauxnen, and still goth. She would dress up in the Gothic boystyle/dandy fashion. She and Hathor would still be going out places, but this time, the rumors about Hathor dating a cute goth "guy" would spread much faster than in the original scenario. Why? Sanguinia can't stop acting like a shoujo love interest, being so princely and affectionate with Hathor, making the poor girl red as a beet. When Hathor asks her to control herself, Sanguinia just cocks her head and says that the way she is acting right now is in no way different than how she normally acts. What changed, Hathor? You're not in love with this prince like appearance, are you?

[zenkindoflove]

I've been thinking about this question a lot, and I like your thoughtful answers to fandom, so I'm gonna shoot my shot so feel free to delete this.

Do you think there's space for unity and/or peace in the ACOTAR fandom (everyone goes their own ways and just does their own thing in their sub-communities)?

I have thoughts, but I'm curious about what you're going to say!

Oh boy. This is a doozy to answer. I’m going to put my thoughts under a cut because it’s mostly going to be me rambling about how I think fandom has changed in the last ten years and also some thoughts I have about the ACOTAR fandom specifically and what I’ve observed in the last year and a half I’ve been active here.

My tldr answer is: No. I do not think there is anyway we will ever just get along and find peace.

I’ve been reflecting for a while on why that is, and I have some overall theories. The first is something I think that is true about fandoms in general these days and is completely outside of our control.

I think social media has created more toxicity in fandom, and the biggest driving factor is that social media forces us to socialize with each other by valuing individualism. In the days before all these big social media sites, in order to engage with fandom (or the internet in general) you had to seek out communal spaces on your own based around a specific interest. You were always a guest/visitor in these spaces, and there were norms set in place for how to interact and engage with people. Now, the big websites that we all interact with each other on (tumblr included) requires us to create profile pages that we curate to represent who we are. We see our blogs as the “content” we create - both as a personal diary and a way to express our individuality and “authentic selves” that we share. Now, there is some value to that, but I think what it does is it makes us exist on these different platforms with a “me” first mindset. This is MY blog and I’ll say and express whatever I WANT.

But the reality is that there are communal spaces that exist on these platforms too. Such as the tagging system on tumblr. Tags are designed to be followed and ways to project your thoughts and share them with a community. And yet we still must do that from our home territory – our blogs. The posts co-exist in both spaces. And try as we might to enforce best practices and rules of how to use these spaces, people still are aggressively ego-centric in how they want to engage because they see their profile as their territory.

I don’t think that there is any way to request people to not act that way. Of course we want to curate and have freedom of expression in our own spaces. And we try to encourage ways for people to not see things they aren’t going to like (blocking, filtering tags, etc). But ultimately, to form community on these sites, we have to essentially follow people instead of only interacting with them in these communal spaces – which opens us up to basically witnessing every thought they have.

I think that is wherein lies the problem. We see things we don’t want to see, opinions or takes that irritate us, from people we otherwise enjoy. And this is fandom. We feel strongly about the subject matter no matter how you slice it. Otherwise we wouldn’t be here. I just don’t think we were meant to know all of this about each other. No matter what, you’re going to see something that pisses you off, and then cue the antics where people try to feel righteous or justify their irritation by stirring up shit. And on and on it goes.

I say this as someone who very much as participated in and perpetuated this cycle. I include myself in the offenders because after all – I am ultimately a stubborn, passionate human who wants to gossip and fight if I see something unjust. I am not immune, and I have observed this exact mindset in how I see my own behaviors.

Now – for the ACOTAR fandom specifically – I think we are basically this problem on steroids. I think partly it’s because of the nature of the fanbase. For so many people in this fandom – this is their FIRST fandom. While that is a beautiful thing, it also means a lot of people come into this space not understanding the norms of fandoms in general that have tried to address avoiding toxicity in the past. I also think that, frankly, a lot of people coming here from the bookish space are bringing in very weird ideas about censorship and shipping beliefs that essentially makes us have the same exact conversation over and over again – all because they still need to go through fandom university to unlearn a lot of the bullshit other places on the internet have ingrained in them.

I also think that the nature of this series – serial romances with a large cast of characters – it makes our fandom more fragmented then I have seen in other fandoms. We don’t just have one or two big shipper groups – we have multiples and they all have distinct flavors and personalities of how they interact with other groups and each other. This goes beyond just the toxicity of the ship war. A lot of toxicity exists within shipping groups or between shippers/stans for characters you would otherwise think wouldn’t have an issue with each other, and I think that is in large part because there are several competing interests and a lot of value placed on popularity. We see followers and post stats as currency (as is true for how social media works in general), and we use that in how we judge each other and whose voices matter.

I guess to not be totally doom and gloom, I do think there are ways to mitigate the toxicity. And that is finding a smaller group of like-minded people and forming a group chat or discord server with them. It won’t stop it completely. I think the most important element of this is finding people who you share the same interests - not just the same frustrations. You’ll still gossip and blow off steam and talk about what the new drama and bullshit that is going on in either your side or another side of the fandom. That's normal. But having time to really talk about the things you like and be positive is much more fruitful than only relating to each other because of what you all dislike. Search for people who are also looking to get the same out of fandom as you are, such as earnest connections rather than “reach” or “engagement”. Make friends because you share interests and how you think about the characters you love instead of who you think will make you more popular.

TBF, I have never been in a fandom that has known true peace, but I do think there is something unique with the ACOTAR fandom and how it really insists on playing all the top hits of worse fandom behavior on a loop. For me – I think taking a step back recently from how I’m participating in this fandom and the role I have within it has changed where I’m putting my energy. I do not see myself being here for a long time, but I do want to have a good time. I've been in enough fandoms to know my "Best by" date, and while I'm here, I'm trying my best to make the most of it.

[elysiansparadise]

Hello~~

I recently was going through your planet masterlist, specifically uranus, and I noticed you didn't have one for the 11th house.

So I was wondering if you could do a post on your thoughts on uranus in the 11th house?

Hello love! Sure, I can share my thoughts about this placement. 💙

Uranus in the 11th house

These natives are constantly thinking about the future, have a wide diversity of aspirations, and are very likely to be the kind of people with many different interests. These natives may find themselves constantly against those ideals rooted in the past, they are against concepts such as gender roles or the idea that if you are younger than someone you automatically have to respect and accept that they are right. From a very young age they work on developing their own criteria and mentality, it’s worth mentioning that they are people who do not easily get carried away by what their peers or people around them do. Ironically, they can even without realizing it be major influences on the lives of others and their lifestyles. They can become prominent and well-known either professionally or socially, so if they aspire to a career that involves contact with the public, it is likely that they will easily gain recognition. Although many of these people need their own space to enjoy their independence, they highly value friendship and give it a very important place in their lives. They are not the kind of people to desperately seek the company of others, but when they meet someone to call their friends, they are quite nice and encouraging towards them.

Since I mention the topic of friendship, here we find natives who will never try to exercise control over their friends, much less check what they do all the time. They are not consuming friends and enjoy watching their friends grow. In their social relationships, they are prudent and understanding. It is very likely that in environments such as school they could feel excluded, but this placement tells us about someone who can make friends both unexpectedly and in places or environments in which they did not imagine. Many of them are creative and inventive, their personality is authentic and they hate pretending to be someone they are not just to fit in. They can stand out for their way of thinking and their courage to speak their minds. They are very rational people while having a curious mind that loves to learn new things and different perspectives. They have a high amount of empathy and a strong sense of altruism, and it is not limited only to people they consider friends, as they like the idea of ​​helping people in need regardless of whether they know them or not. These people may have an interest in inventions, technology or electronic devices. Likewise, it is possible that they can forge very positive friendships on the internet. This placement increases the chances of success when it comes to working on things related to the internet.

Many of these people can easily introduce people to new ideas and concepts on a topic, they like to innovate when it comes to topics that they are passionate about. For many of them success is important, although they may have a different view of success compared to what other people see it as. Independence is a very important concept for them, they like to do things their own way and from a young age they will reject others placing expectations on them and, in turn, they will try to never expect things from people. They are not the type to want to change people, because if they don't want you as a friend they will only distance themselves from you. Once they define that they want you in their lives, they will appreciate you completely. Many of them probably take their time to open up emotionally to people, especially potential friends. This house also speaks of earnings through work; it is very likely that many of these natives aspire to jobs where they are their own bosses, jobs that are unusual or related to science, technology, or the internet. They may have diverse incomes, constantly change jobs or, if Uranus is making tense aspects, have somewhat unstable income.

-> Go back to the masterlist

[fangirleaconmigo]

In your expert opinion, do you think there’s any deeper reading to interpret from Geralt’s rebound with Essi, and traits she shares with Dandelion? (I know it wasn’t authorial intention in the least, but when he kissed her within 10 minutes of meeting, I got a “she’s a lot like Dandelion, surely she’s safe to embarrass myself with” vibe).

Hi Nonny!

Essi and Dandelion, Poets and Parallels, Ballads and Broken Hearts

Thank you for the ask! I'm on my lunch break from work, but I'm so happy to be answering Witcher book questions again that I'm sneaking off to do this.

Essi is such an interesting character, right? On one hand, she seems to be treated as the 'anti-Yen" by the narrative and the thing that Geralt 'should' want, thereby reinforcing his love for Yen when he *doesn't* fall in love with Essi.

But then there are all the curious parallels and similarities with Dandelion, which also makes it fun to analyze in that way. The list of similarities is long: their profession, personality, looks, their level of talent, and my favorite, their readiness to throw hands on behalf of Geralt of Rivia. And then there is The Ballad.

Ok. I'm going to set authorial intent aside for the moment, because writers write things all the time they don't intend to write. And I think any artist worth their salt should be thrilled that their work is layered and interesting enough to inspire differing interpretations.

That being said, let's get to the fun part.

SPOILERS SPOILERS FOR ESSI'S STORY PLS DON'T READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE SPOILED.

Profession, personality

Let's look at Essi's introduction! She enters the scene acting just like Dandelion. Both poets are mercilessly insulting one another in their fake-genteel way. (Lots of shade, as well as out and out insults)

Geralt is taken aback, thinking they are fighting, but then they fall on one another embracing and he's like...oh lordt. There's two of them.

"The Witcher was taken aback, but not too greatly. A professional colleague of Dandelion's could not, indeed, differ much from him in terms of predictability."

--Sword of Destiny pg 195

So we have profession, and personality being very similar. Bards with sharp tongues and ready emotions. Then we have looks!

Looks.

I've done a post on Dandelion's looks here. And Essi is similar! Blonde hair, blue eyes, and beautiful. Same same. Sorry, her eyes are a dark blue whereas Dandelion's are cornflower. Much different so contrast.

Level of talent.

They are both beloved and famous. When Ciri is studying at Nenneke's temple, she has access to both of their books of poetry.

[Ciri] read The Adversities of Loving and Time of the Moon, collections of poems by the famous troubadour Dandelion. She shed tears over the ballads of Essi Daven, subtle, infused with mystery, and collected in a small, beautifully bound volume entitled The Blue Pearl. --Blood of Elves pg 298

And Geralt adores both of their voices. When Essi and Dandelion are singing together, Geralt thinks to himself that they have the most beautiful voices that he has ever heard.

They Stay Ready to Throw Hands for Geralt of Rivia.

The text even classifies Essi and Dandelion together on this. And as I said, it's my favorite part of her character, and not just because I love Geralt. It shows her strength, her strong sense of self, her courage, and her values.

First, she, much in the way that Dandelion does, uses her fame, connections, and higher social standing to protect Geralt. And she throws Dandelion into the mix for good measure to strengthen her threats. So when Duke Agloval threatens to drive Geralt to the border with a whip. Essi reponds.

"...please dont threaten Geralt. It so happens that Dandelion and I have several friends...King Ethain of Cidaris...always says that our ballads aren't just lively music and rhymes, but a way of spreading news...Do you wish, your Grace, to be written into the chronicle of human kind? I can arrange it?" --Sword of Destiny pg 212

And when Geralt turns down Agloval's 'offer' of permanent work killing sea creatures in a permanent war with them, (keeping in mind that the noble has stiffed Geralt twice on payment so far) Agloval invokes Geralt's poverty in a demeaning way.

"Oh how proud," Agloval smiled. "How haughty. You reject offers in a way some kings wouldn't be ashamed of. You give up decent money with the air of a wealthy man after a lavish dinner. Geralt? Did you have lunch today? No? And tomorrow? And the day after? I see little chance, Witcher, very little..."

It is so infuriating. Agloval is saying...who the fuck do you think you are? Someone important? Someone with status?? Someone who is allowed to decide his own ethics for himself?

This is a constant theme. The...know your place. Stop trying to think for yourself. Ethics look stupid on you, because you aren't 'real' enough of a human being to have them. So it is super satisfying when Essi lets loose on him.

"How dare you!" Little Eye cried shrilly. "How dare you speak like that to him Agloval!...How can you be so base?"...

Geralt tries to stop her. He sees little point.

"Stop it Essi," Geralt said. "Stop, Essi, there's no point." "Not true," she said angrily. "These is a point. Someone has to tell it straight to this self-appointed duke....who now thinks he has the right to insult other people."

And she isn't done.

"Yes, Agloval, " Essi continued, clenching her shaking hands into fists. "The opportunity to insult other people amuses and pleases you. You delight in the contempt you can show the Witcher...you should know that the Witcher mocks your attempts and slights., that they do not make the faintest impression on him..."

Then we bring Dandelion back in. Because guess who also feels anger and revulsion when Geralt is treated so contemptuously? Let Essi say it...

"The Witcher doesn't feel what Dandelion and I feel, and we feel revulsion."

Sword of Destiny pg 237

That's like...not even half of her unloading on this guy. She is like...you are worth less than Geralt, so jot that down.

Now..

The Ballad

Here is why the ballad matters to me. I think that perhaps even more interesting than how Geralt responds to Essi (interesting though it is) is how Dandelion responds to Essi. Why does he think someone who is almost exactly like him is perfect for Geralt? I mean, he sees himself in her so much that he thinks of her as his sister.

He loves her more than Geralt does I think that is clear. Geralt cares deeply about her. But to Dandelion, she is like his family.

He is put in a shitty position of seeing her distraught and anguished about her feelings for Geralt and Geralt afraid of leading her on or hurting her. Geralt and Essi go back and forth, making it insufferable for Dandelion as a third wheel.

I talked about it here here and here.

Dandelion's response is the subject of controversy in fandom, and there are many valid and differing reader responses. But it seems clear that Dandelion has come to terms with the fact that Geralt and Essi will not be together in love, despite his advice to Geralt. So he suggests they just fuck to get it out of their systems and then everything will be ok. (that's his solution to most things)

So, if he is at ease with that, why the ballad? At the end of the story, Dandelion composes a ballad while Essi and Geralt sleep.

Dandelion, staring into the dying embers, sat much longer, alone, quietly strumming his lute. It began with a few bars, from which an elegant, soothing melody emerged. The lyric suited the melody, and came into being simultaneously with it, the words blending into the music, becoming set in it like insects in translucent, golden lumps of amber. The ballad told of a certain witcher and a certain poet. About how the witcher and the poet met on the seashore, among the crying of seagulls, and how they fell in love at first sight. About how beautiful and powerful was their love. About how nothing - not even death - was able to destroy that love and part them.

Sword of Destiny pg 246

Why this romantic song?? About a witcher and poet?

Yes, it could be just for the ballad, for a successful song. The text talks about the real story not being a good one for a ballad.

But there is so much emotion and magic in that scene. What is he thinking? What is he feeling?

Of course you know about what happens next, Essi's heartbreaking end, and Dandelion's crushing grief. She dies of smallpox during an epidemic. Dandelion is there. Did he go as soon as he heard? Was he visiting her expecting some lovely evenings singing around a fire and found her dead?

However it happened, Dandelion does not leave her to die alone. He does not turn tail and leave, avoiding smallpox. He literally carries the cold dead corpse of this woman he loves, who he sees as his sister, in his arms...

...Dandelion had carried her out in his arms between corpses being cremated on funeral pyres and had buried her far from the city, in the forest, alone and peaceful...

He buries her alone with his own hands! Oh how his heart must have shattered. It is moments like that, that you see the deeper, kinder, even (dare I say) noble side of the vain, braggadocios, whorish bard.

It goes on to say that Dandelion could have changed the song at any point to be a true version (the one where Essi dies), but he never did.

No, Dandelion stuck with his first version. And he never sang it. Never. To no one. Sword of Destiny p 246

Yeah.

To me there is a story about a young girl who cares enough for ten people, who has a huge heart, and a deep soul. A fearless girl who feels things too big for her to handle for a man others call a monster. A girl whose voice is like an angel.

And then there is a story about a broken hearted poet who loved her (far more than Geralt did) and who wrote a song about a witcher and a poet and he never changed the words and never sang it to anyone.

And I wonder if he wasn't writing that ballad about a witcher and a different poet entirely.

*sob*

[oraclemoontarot]

Was not planning on sharing my opinion on this, but I've seen it circling around a bit, and honestly, I find it absolutely absurd, silly even. If people want to know who their future spouse is, how their crush feels, hell, even what a celebrity would think of them, it is fine, more than fine. Especially if it's not invasive, disgusting, or an uncomfortable topic, it isn't an issue.

Tarot is fun, it's interesting, it provides insights when needed as well. Let people ask and be curious about things, let them enjoy things. In the nicest of ways, it's genuinely not deep.

For a tarot reader who provides personal readings, imagine previous 'clients', for lack of a better word, who have bought such readings only to see this sort of response? Why shame people and assume things about them? Not everyone who asks love questions or questions surrounding celebrities are delusional or insecure or uncaring about their self and unaware of what needs to be improved within themselves. We only see what they show us, nothing more, nothing less. It is unfair and frankly, disrespectful to place such assumptions and look down on those who are interested in fun, probably not as insightful or deep, readings. If it makes them happy and isn't hurting anyone, especially themselves, let it be. It's tumblr, it's tarot, and there are more pressing things in this world and within our lives to place focus on.

Plus, everyone is in different stages within their lives, some have already worked on themselves or know what steps they need to take, so why would they be interested in a reading that would only tell them what they already know?

Other people want things to look forward to, or a way to escape from certain thoughts or an environment, or they're excited at the possibility of who is coming into their life. Whatever the reason, we're all curious by nature, albeit for different things. You may be interested in self-care readings, finances, career, family, health, love, celebrities - everyone has their own thing or multiple things. And, for tarot readers who have both paid and pac readings surrounding topics you 'shame' or look down on others for being interested in, I find it somewhat hypocritical and hurtful to those who have purchased such readings from those readers who say such things.

I want to end it with, if it's something you want to see more of, or something you place importance on and value, then nothing is stopping you from posting such readings of your own. Some tarot readers have their own niche. Some focus on solely celebs, self-care, sex, relationships. And that is more than okay. If you feel like there needs to be more variety, you can be the reader who provides that. It would be more than welcomed, it would be a good thing, especially as, again, it's insightful, helpful, and a guidance some people are in need of.

Alright, end of rant 😭 just in case, this was a response to multiple comments and blogs I've seen, it does not specifically target the original post (as that was mainly aimed at tarot readers), as some people had stated they found people requesting certain readings as delusional, immature, and insecure. Which was just baffling to me and an assumption that does more harm than good.