#and he deserves every bit of respect and understanding and sympathy for it

[dazais-guardian-angel]

it’s sad that a lot of people truly don’t realize how incredibly hard it is for Dazai to make the choice to do things the way he does now in his new lifestyle, every single day. Healing and changing your way of doing things to heal is incredibly hard; it is an active choice you are making at every moment, fighting uphill, because it doesn’t come naturally like it does for anyone who hasn’t been through trauma and/or is dealing with mental illness. It’s hard, and so many days it’d be easier to just give up and revert back to old habits. But Dazai almost never has, even when constantly surrounded by toxic influences that remind him of his old life, and he is so incredibly strong for that.

[fukuokadivision1]

Ming's Thoughts on Obihiro Division

Hisoka Tetsumasu

"Hisoka-san's past is certainly troubling, what with the illegal HypMics and all. It's hard to overlook that, especially when you consider the trouble it's caused, not only here in Fukuoka, but in Japan, as a whole. Still, I can't help but feel a pang of sympathy for him. It's clear he's been through a lot, and like many of us, he's made choices he probably regrets. I don't condone what he's done, but I understand that sometimes life pushes you into dark corners."

"As for his work as a horse breeder, that's something I can't help but admire. Horses are such noble creatures, and they deserve care and respect. It's a noble profession, and it speaks to a gentler side of Hisoka-san that perhaps not many get to see. I remember the horses my brother and I had to leave behind after we left home; they were more than just animals to us—they were friends, at least to me."

"I'd like to speak with Hisoka-san about possibly arranging a visit to his ranch for the children. It would be a wonderful experience for them, and a chance for Hisoka-san to share the beauty of his work. After all, it's important for the kids to see that there's more to life than the streets of Fukuoka, that there's beauty and kindness too."

Daiki Kamiyama

"Daiki-kun's heart is in the right place, wanting to be a superhero and all. It's a noble aspiration, but the streets of Fukuoka, much less, Japan, are no place for games. It's dangerous, and I worry he might get hurt—or worse. He reminds me of the children I teach; full of imagination and dreams. But there comes a time when you have to put away childish things and face reality. I hope Daiki-kun realizes this before it's too late."

"As for his comments about me, it's clear he doesn't understand the bond between my brother and I. The assumptions he's made are hurtful, but I won’t hold it against him. He doesn't know our story, the sacrifices we've made for each other. It's easy to judge when you don't know the truth. I'd like to invite Daiki-kun to spend a day with us, to see the love and care that exists within MIHANASA. Perhaps then he'll see that we’re more than just our appearances or our pasts."

Jack Verrill

"Jack-san seems like a man of dedication and discipline. It's not easy to be responsible for someone else's well-being, especially when that someone is as spirited as Daiki-kun. I can't say whether he should be watching over Daiki-kun more closely; after all, every person must walk their own path and learn from it. But I do believe that Jack-san has Daiki-kun's best interests at heart, even if his methods are a bit unorthodox."

Veiled Vanguard

"This team is quite the ensemble. Hisoka-san, with his complex past and love for horses, brings a certain depth to the group. Daiki-kun, the young man with dreams of heroism, adds a touch of innocence and idealism. And Jack-san, the butler, seems to be the anchor, with his experience and perhaps, secrets that keep the team grounded."

"It's a diverse mix, and diversity can be a team's greatest strength if channeled correctly. They each bring something unique to the table, and if they can harmonize their differences, they could create something truly special. I do hope they find a way to work together effectively, for their sake and for the sake of the competition."

[naamahdarling]

Happy Primal Bog Monday!

It's been a while!

Come sit down! Enjoy this nice basket of yummy things that will NOT upset your tummy! Take a snack and dangle your legs from the edge of this wooden walkway, toes just over the water. It is April, the weather is a little crisp in the shade because of the light breeze, and the water is cold, but in the sun, it is warm. Feel it shine on your back. See the three shadows before you on the surface of the dark water. Yours, mine, and Dried Pickle Man's. Observe the small insects darting through, in and out of them. It is a beautiful day to sit and discuss something important.

That is how worthy of love you are no matter how gross you are or feel. Let me tell you a secret. My dad is sick and it has been some days since I showered, because I am ****ing stressed. I'm a little gross. There's a big stigma against that. As if showering is an obligation to others or a thing that is somehow moral.

I can hear sadly misled people protesting even now, thin voices raised in protest. "But you did not mention that--" "You should at least--" "Actually--" "Well then other people--" "So you think--" "Are you excusing--"

Shhh. Shh. Stare into the Bog. Not every post needs to deal with every response you might have to it. The Bog knows this, as the Bog does not care to explain itself. If you gaze into it, you will come to understand.

It's okay. It's okay to get gross. If you can't cope with things and hygiene falls by the wayside, isn't that understandable? Isn't that something we should have sympathy for, and be patient with, in ourselves, in others?

So here I am, face not appearing in these pics but definitely greasy. And I am enjoying being loved by possibly the most unique creature I have ever known. He looks a bit like a yeti crab when he puts his arms up, one of those furry crab dudes, remember? He loves me no matter how gross I am and I deserve that. It isn't good for me to say bad things about myself. (Gross isn't bad to me. I'm using the word gross and not something less judgmentally fraught for two reasons: one, I don't think it should carry the stigma it does, and two, more clinical language just feels gross to me. "Trouble with hygiene" is what you have when your psych asks you to fill out another ****ing survey, over which they can frown with vague concern. It isn't what I have in the comfort of my own home, thanks. I'm just gross, okay? I don't want to be medicalized or pathologized for something completely understandable.)

Anyway yeah, here I am, gross, and here Dried Pickle Man is, also gross. Gross noises, gross fur, gross feet, gross opinions on where it is okay to sneeze (open mouth and uncovered drink). And I love him completely. No matter how crusty and stinky and scrunkly and damp and greasy he is

So I want you to sit with all that: you deserve love and respect no matter how crusty and stinky and scrunkly and damp and greasy you are. Really.

Look at Dried Pickle Man. Do you not love him? Do you not care about him even when he is kinda gross? Why shouldn't you warrant the same care from yourself? Why should you accept shame?

So sit here and poke the water with this stick and enjoy the little breeze. We really don't care when you last took a shower. We just want you to relax for a minute. You deserve that much. And if others judge you, well, that's usually not coming from a place of love, I will tell you that. And when it is out of concern, well, that doesn't mean it isn't annoying or misplaced, or that you have obligations or some sort of moral duty to do anything. None of that nonsense matters in the Bog. Let's just be what we are, together.

[loser-jpg]

if there’s one thing i’m good at, it’s asking questions- seriously, give me a minute and i’ll come up with questions you didn’t even think to think about call me ?? anon shdhdhdh

anyway, care to elaborate on dee and leona’s relationship? how did dee see the beastman at first, how did he realize he started having feelings, etc?

ohhh boy oh boy. leodee is prime example of 'i cannot fucking stand this guy' to 'holy shit i would kill for him'

so the first meeting is in the garden when dee steps on his tail, and dee is obviously sorry for this but shortly after leona does that thing in canon where he sniffs the prefect finding out they have no magic. when this happens dee gets the biggest ick. like fully cringes and gives leona the dirtiest look because hes like 'did you just fucking sniff me???' and when leona right after starts spouting his egotistical nonsense dee decides right there he fucking hates him. and he continues to hate him for quite a bit of time right up until around leonas overblot. going through the events of book 2 dee learns more about leona and gains a bit of insight onto just how smart and cunning he is. for dee strategical intelligence is an extremely attractive quality, so even though dee finds leonas plan petty and pathetic to stoop so low as to cheat, he begrudgingly admires the craftiness that went into it. at the same time dee is also starting to realize leonas ego isnt just hot air, and that its actually based in leonas actual talent. you can hate a prideful character all you want but its a bit harder when theyre able to back that pride up with skill. then when leona overblots and dee learns about his past he immediately is hit with a wave of sympathy. dee had an older sister, one who often he was overshadowed by, and he has experience with being ignored in favor of others, so he fully understands what it feels like to be the second choice. realizing that leonas acting out was from a place of being essentially bullied by the adults in his life, and being proved time and again that any effort wouldnt lead to what he wanted, dee couldnt hate him for the petty reasons he did at the beginning. it took a while for him to get used to leonas ego, but after the overblot all dee could really feel for leona was sympathy and understanding. through book 3 dee starts to gain huge amounts of respect and admiration for leona. book 2 essentially broke down any assumptions dee had about leona, while book 3 built his perception of leona from the ground up. being shown how leona leads savanaclaw (the few times he actually does lmao) and being shown again leonas strategic mind made dee start to really admire those qualities about him. what he saw he felt was natural qualities of the leader and king leona wanted so badly to be, and even though he was never going to be king, dee saw that leona still had all those qualities, and that even if leona said there was no point in putting in effort if he was never going to get what he wanted, in a way he was still working toward that goal even if unattainable. leona was still leading people and earning their respect through his leadership even if he didnt get to be king, and he was doing it all almost subconsciously. so by the end of book 3 dee was pretty whipped.

all of dees feelings are based entirely out of an intense respect for leona and just general admiration for how much of an intelligent leader he is. i dont think itd really be a sort of 'falling in love' pipeline, but much more a growing respect that sort of just got so intense that once romantic feelings started to form you could barely tell the difference lmao. leona and dees relationship is entirely built off of respect. obviously any relationship is but for them its like, in every little detail of their relationship. both have had experiences of feeling not respected by people around them, and both have a clear understanding of exactly how much respect a person deserves, and how the level of respect they were treated with in the past was unfair. i feel like dee would have to work a lot harder to gain leonas respect, but given how much he admired leona he definitely wanted leona to respect him too. he wanted to be on equal footing to leona, he wanted to be his partner and other half, not just an accessory or someone who could be seen as lower. he was fully aware how much work he would have to put in to be seen with the level of respect he wanted from leona, and he would not back down.

[hanako-san]

this is my critique of yashiro nene. I want to take it off my chest.Don't like it, skip it. I will tell you what I think from chapters 96-104 about her and her behavior

-

Now seriously. This official art made me happy because I chose well as shipping them officially. They go well together and are 'sweet' together and it shows more in color.

This art gave me something else. It was at Minamoto's house. Daikon accepted an invitation from the person who did this:

She accepted the invitation from the person she should be angry at him and feel hurt for, but it doesn't happen because yashiro nene admires teru because of his appearance and nothing prevents from not taking Amane's feelings into account and ignoring what teru did to her, because he is so 'handsome' and 'beautiful' according to her, and yet she do second time - now and at the beginning of the chapters.

She didn't really care then and she don't care now, even though she have a boyfriend now, but AidaIro shows that it's a totally cool simping for the almost murderer Amane and the person who took advantage of her and conspired against her trying to turn her friends against her.

Her momentary character development is irrelevant. She's back to her same self - except now she has a boyfriend, Amane cares about her feelings then so should she, but all Amane gets is a slap from her every now and then.

She shouldn't have accept invitation the person who did so many bad things to you, but you are complety fine with it.. What daikon can do is to get angry with Amane, but actions like teru can be forgiven and you're fine with that. It's also disgusting to simp to Teru, and you were saying a chapter earlier that you want to confess Amane's feelings correctly.

Every "i'm so sorry" of hers is so empty, her "love" is EMPTY and FAKE. Daikon - glowing eyes full of admiration for the teru and others 'hot' guys. She ignoring Amane's feelings and she didn't care at all that Amane was trembling with fear and she said she 'loves' him. Lol. How shallow, dishonest, and false.

Save Amane's life

Less resentment towards him, scream and beat him, tear him up and blame him the most for your mistake that you admitted, because he hurt you more, and you have nothing to blame yourself for, because why? you saved Aoi and stopped Amane, but no apologies are due to either Aoi or Amane, because what's the point? Others are supposed to apologize to you such a queen like you don't have to, and once you 'apologise' you will do something shameful like in recent chapters and like i said above. Your apology is empty and you only do it to make yourself feel better so that others won't feel sad by you. Using 'sorry not sorry' in your case is all the time.

Tell him you love him

You will accept an invitation from a person who has done bad things and spend nice time with him. But you don't mind because he's so hot for you.But blame only on Amane

Then show off how much you care for Amane and trust him and you care about his past, show concern. Say big words about this how you want to said love him correctly

Then ignore his feelings and fear and continue to admire the person who almost killed your boyfriend whom you supposedly 'love' LOL and totally ignore his feelings

She's supposed to 'love' him? lol. How ridiculous. She wanted a relationship so badly, but she shouldn't have a relationship. She doesn't respect Amane and ignores his feelings, she tramples them every time, so why should I care about her pathetic feelings which mean nothing to me( she killed the last bit of sympathy I had for her),and pity her for anything she doesn't deserve for it.

Her age doesn't matter. She's a big enough girl to understand that what she's doing is wrong

[evansbby]

Would you be willing to rank your favourite people from Vanderpump rules since you finished season 2?

Lol I like to ask all my friends to do that (we are friends idc what you have to say about that) and get their opinions after every season to see how much changed

Oh bestie I love you for asking me this bc I really thought I was yapping into the void and nobody cared about me watching this show bahahah

1. Stassi!! She’ll always be my number one! Of course she’s not perfect and can be controlling and bossy at times but there are parts of her that I admire so much. Like her confidence, how she has every man literally eating out of the palm of her hand and bending over backwards for her, how she doesn’t settle, how she knows exactly what she wants. And she was great in season 2, I love how graphic she gets with her imagery when describing things. Like someone asked her “what would you do if your boyfriend threw his drink at you” and she was like “I would cut his dick off and put a stick through it and barbecue it” or smth along those lines 😂😂😂 it’s so unhinged yet hilarious. I really felt for her when she found out Kristen and Jax slept together, and the way she staged the whole exposing Kristen at the club thing was amazing! That backhand was iconic lmfao.

2. Tom Sandoval. He’s problematic in season 2 bc he cheated on Kristen multiple times BUT he really brought the drama this season! Like he’s up here for entertainment purposes. And him punching Jax on the forehead was so satisfying. And honestly I did feel for him at times lmao. Him and Kristen’s drama had me sat and invested and was way more interesting than Jax/Stassi drama.

3. Kristen. Again, she’s super problematic but she brought the drama this season just like Tom so she deserves to be up here lol. She’s crazy though… like the way she behaves is honestly UNHINGED. Acting so sad about being cheated on when the whole time she was also cheating on Tom and with JAX is crazy. But she was super entertaining and I felt for her at times too. This season would’ve been nothing without her and Tom.

4. Kristina??? Idk if her name is Kristina or Katrina but the brunette skinny friend I feel like she’s so cool and pretty and talks a lot of sense haha.

5. Katie — she’s so boring to look at and listen to and her blonde hair was awful. But I did feel for her when her boyfriend threw his drink at her. I don’t understand why she’s still with that loser. I do feel like she’s a bit of a follower though, like she does whatever Stassi tells her to do.

6. Scheana. She’s just so blah! Like she tries to be fun and entertaining but her parts are so boring and she’s not bringing ANY drama. Like literally everyone else is surpassing her bc they actually bring drama. Although Scheana needs to be studied fr, she gives strong pick me energy and I can understand why none of the girls seem to trust her fully.

7. Jax. I get such an astronomical ick from this man. Like he just grosses me out at this point. His looks, his actions, everything! Like I can’t even hate on him anymore bc he’s so lame and nobody in the friend group even takes him seriously anymore. He’s 1000% a psychopath though, the way he felt zero remorse for fucking his best friend’s girlfriend who was also his ex girlfriend’s best friend. Weirdo fr.

8. Ariana. I hate her so much. Like I have zero respect for her and don’t care at all for her “chill badass girl” persona. She’s a homewrecker and the way she straight up lied when asked if something happened between her and Tom??? I don’t trust her at all. Lookswise she annoys me too like why is her hair so aggressively side parted??? Like I genuinely think Kristen is way prettier than her. Also joke’s on Ariana bc the way she probably thought Tom would never cheat on her. But once a cheater always a cheater and I know Tom cheated on Ariana like last year!!! But fuck her I feel zero sympathy!

[whenthechickencry]

Umineko EP5. Replay Part 2

I am fine with the household I grew up in which is why I am having an imaginary conversation with someone about how not fine I was with it.

normal family dynamics where you are jealous of the fact your wife is forced to show respect to the man who basically kidnapped her.

I don't understand how people think Natsuhi really likes Krauss, man, she tells herself she does obviously but.... every other line reveals that she does not in fact do that. And she's right not to.

Hmmmm It is interesting how they made Lambdadelta be Natsuhi's unofficial sponsor for this game.... Natsuhi certainly is someone who tries even when the possibility of winning is 0, and Lambdadelta does seem to have some extra sympathy for the traumas of fatherhood and patriarchy. Her goals are kind of vague and muddled, as in she just kind of lies to herself to make her goals what is proper.

It's cruel to rob someone of the chance to give up, of course, but in a more sympathetic reading, you can say that is what caused Beatrice to witness her miracle...

Well, she sure is doing a bad job of that by giving Battler a shit ton of hints, Bern.

The way Bern tends to call Beatrice a "child" is very interesting to me, it shows she thinks of a lesser being, and in this context, I think Bernkastel sees Beatrice's suffering as lesser.... she was stuck in an endless loop for someone and she is supposed to believe the endless witch is worth having empathy for? That's how she thinks, I believe.

To be honest, the scene describing the scene *turning* sad is interesting to me. The scene that was taking place before wasn't wholly sad, of course, but it did reveal a lot of Natsuhi's buried resentments.... I think it shows how seeing without love isn't just seeing 'reality'. It is refusing to engage with the other person's world in favor of just pasting your own interpretation and assumptions on them. The scene where nothing is happening and Natsuhi is just sad tells us less about the truth of Natsuhi's heart than the scene with Beatrice. The magic Beatrice wanted Battler to see included all her trauma.

"this time, at least" lmfao, Natsuhi.

He's finally here.... the thing Beatrice has been waiting for for so long, he's finally getting it.

Well, no, it was Natsuhi.

well maybe you shouldn't have been fucking with and cheating on her since she was like 15 then.

everyone in this family has taken a moment to point out they are all traumatized by each other in like 4 scenes. Eva talks about how Krauss stole from the other siblings, Rudolf points out he is scared of Krauss beating him up, Rosa talks about being dragged into their (often physical) fights.

You can tell Natsuhi knows who they are right away, it wouldn't make sense to freak out this much if she truly had no idea, anyways. It would just be a prank call. Observant players should have alarms ring at the mention of 19 years ago considering that it is the same time Ronove mentioned back in ep3- though even then that is a bit of a misdirection bc we are seeing different Beatrice.

Tbh Natsuhi probably can and should have dismissed Nanjo Kumasawa and Genji for the day of the conference considering they are the only people alive that she knows know of this event in the first place - but the situation with the fake Kinzo makes that kind of impossible.

even Natsuhi knows lmfao.

You kinda deserved to get chewed on by LambdaBern for this though, jeez, Battler. Pay attention to the game!

Hahha, Maria wants to help her friend in need. Sayo probably has complained about Gohda to her before.

Haha, I forgot about this considering there were some Erika culprit theories, though I guess it does go in circles instead of proclaiming it directly....

Bernkastel immediately proclaims Erika as part of her and then starts disowning her when she fails to solve the mystery, ouch....

By the way, they were *very* careful not to have Kanon be talked about or be presented since the second Erika entered the room up to when Battler made it clear we are talking about his piece-version's pov. They already showed you how people that aren't there can be present in the narrative, so when they bring attention to this you should be noticing the mystery is challenging you. It's interesting how Kanon is the only one that gets a weirdly unique description compared to anyone else, too.

This line kind of made me imagine Erika as Eva's daughter and I'm just imagining what a shitshow that would be, oh my god.

Again, how she's conflating herself and Erika up to the point where she's discarded... that's really cruel. I feel bad all things considered. Also the games basically yelling: if you want to solve the epitaph yourself, stop now.

Well, if she put a loss condition on herself, that means she must not really care about winning right? Or otherwise, she might consider losing an acceptable outcome? Almost like it's someone who doesn't care about their life anymore?

Natsuhi stooooop. It is not your duty to just do everything Krauss wants to do. Your mind is a fucking prison aaaaa.

Haven't said much about Erika yet because she was mostly keeping the Proper Girl act with some of the hints of her true nature coming through, here is where her character starts going for real, though.

Yeah.... they are setting up what actually happened here haha... it would definitely not end well. And they are starting to question "What happens when you are trying to understand something not for your love of them or real understanding but just because you can?" Umineko is overall a work that promotes empathy and trying to understand others, so it also will deal with what happens when you "try to understand" for selfish or bad-faith reasons.

Yeah, the point of this scene is spelled out later, of course being able to see Kinzo and all, it's funny how hyped Kinzo is for this, though. In actuality if Battler solved it and not Sayo he would be so unamused.

[ginnsbaker]

I hate reader so much 💀 like all of their actions leave me completely flabbergasted you have that dream about hurting a woman you love (or loved i can’t even tell anymore) because you know you’re a toxic person whos been using and hurting her and immediately after ending that jump straight back into things with another woman. I really want pietro to see reader maybe with yelena and just snap and have a fight and then somewhere in that lets it slip what wanda did cos reader needs to know and i’m interested to see how they react to that tbh i can see if reader does find out then wanda potentially getting the wrong idea like reader only suddenly cares out of pity or something like that. Also yelena is a weird one cos in some ways shes very similar to wanda in the sense that she doesn’t seem to want to give up on reader (genuinely cannot understand why but uno). Yelena surely must know that reader is not good for her (especially not without therapy and lots of it) and there are other/better options. It just seems that yelenas sense of self worth isn’t great either if she’s so willing to keep putting herself through things with reader. I also think if reader really cared about yelena they wouldn’t be perusing anything yet, since they ended things with wanda they haven’t really been alone and not knowing how to be alone seems to be doing more damage than good. Now im gonna talk a bit about wanda, I don’t know how you have me feeling so much sympathy towards a cheater (especially as someone who was cheated on). One thing i wanted to ask is why did wanda cheat? Like i can’t really get my head around it because there didn’t seem to be any problems or sense of unhappiness from her? Like seriously every chapter I’m waiting for a reveal like she was being drugged or blackmailed or something anything cos I can’t understand why. But anyway, im glad wanda is getting therapy finally someone in this fic is it’s about damn time. The dream in the start made me so sad because its so true reader is hurting wanda so much and shes just taking it all because she’s convinced herself it’s justified and she deserves it. Even when she was defending reader against her brother it was just heartbreaking because reader doesn’t deserve that. And like i know she was wrong and she cheated but even then she doesn’t deserve what reader is doing to her using her for sex and being so rough just doesn’t sit right with me at all. Also hearing reader say they wanted to hurt her is sad i was half expecting something saying that they just said that for yelenas sake and deep down they still love her but nope. And at this point i dont know if they should work things out even though i wanted them to at the start. The more i read the more i think reader fucked up more and keeps fucking up and honestly wanda deserves better than giving herself up and letting someone use her. Im not team yelena or team wanda im more team therapy or team make wanda happy 😂

💀 anon, is this you? if not, i hope you assign yourself an emoji cos this is GOLD reaction haha (minor spoilers ahead-wont affect you experience i think)

Reader - Not gonna make an excuse about her actions because Pietro is right. But Delayed-onset PTSD, is showing us the ACTUAL effects of the cheating on R's mental and emotional stability.

Piet - He promised not to tell R, and he will respect his sister's wishes. But... yes, R will find out.

Yelena - I didn't want to say anything about Y being that she's the one who's least fucked up, but to go after someone hard and refuse to give up on someone despite the red flags is also a cause for alarm. R and Y were each other's first loves. R got married. Then miraculously, R got divorced and Y couldn't believe the window opened to The One That Got Away/Love of her life. How do you let that opportunity go? Yelena is stubborn because she grew up with R, she think she still knows R, still knows how to fix her, that she can get better for her in the long run. Don't we all, at one point, chose to stick with someone even tho they are bad for us, because love gave us hope?

Wanda - "we accept the love we think we deserve" as long as Wanda hasn't forgiven herself, she thinks she deserves every bad thing thrown her way. Sometimes people really are genuine remorseful. This is why I questioned my belief if I can forgive cheating (and IFISS and ILGOSS was born)

Back to Reader - someone mentioned Reader is becoming the villain of the story. I kinda lean on that because out of everyone, R is the one who needs therapy, especially because on the surface she seems sane. She IS trying to still be good, to be decent, to give people what they want, and the thing that happened with Wanda was her momentarily giving in to her darkest deepest desires, and snapped out of it, stopped herself further by ghosting Wanda again. But this strategy clearly isn't working anymore, so yeah, therapy for everyone!

whew! I hope you get some insights about this, but as the story unfolds, i hope all the things ive said above will bleed through.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!

Even more so for sending this reaction. I love reading everyone's thoughts!

[a-weird-writer]

Yandere Diablo would be hot ngl. He'd be terrible but he's still hot.

Diablo is always super-hot. A crime against humanity. Intelligent. Determination with plenty of power to support it. Dangerous combinations.

You're correct, he'd be scum. All yanderes are, that's the whole point of them.

Has the nerve, the utter audacity to act. Play as the "gentleman," rescuing his damsel in distress.

A respectable bow wearing a sharp smirk, wickedness masked as kindness. That horrendous smile burns you deep within a boiling anger you never felt before-and he is very aware. It's on purpose to get a heated raise out of you, a show for an imaginary audience. Everything bounces off Diablo, a waterfall rushing over his head, an off-putting ease, selfishly lighthearted. Seems like he has to do all the work around here but lays content with it, amused by your play ploy.

His existence is an honor, equipped with gifts he doesn't deserve. Dedicated to the role his name gave him.

A butler serves and protects, regardless of the cost.

This demon talks like a wise preacher. Voice layered, and it wears many sinster facets. It can feel ike wool, soft, and comfortable. But then it will flip when all is said and done, back to the corner and at Diablo's mercy. Unveiling the mask for something deeper within. beneath the softness, under the gentle waves of fine silk, is concrete. A demon heart slumbering in arctic cold, pale, and null; a hard shell of inhumanity. Forgives later but never forgets, never mind that you're stupid enough to rally against him. Tried too, at least.

You grow too cocky. That won't do at all.

Cute. Your adorable escapade.

Diablo can be reasonable, even generous. Loves to humor you, you humor too so win-win. Isn't he nice? Nice enough to overlook your games, often playing along if his mood isn't too dire.

As a lover of games himself, Diablo understands; you need a bit of fun and fresh air, and Diablo himself can't see himself living without going out of his way to ruin someone else's day. You want to stretch your legs here and there and then wiggle some more, akin to a worm stuck on a fishing line.

Really, Diablo gets it. But wheres the fun if he loses?

Diablo speaks his mind clearly in firm honesty because there's no other way he knows how. His words are brutal, profound cuts. Breaking down every vulnerability and weakness. Scars and bruises, each carefully placed. No sympathy, only make-shift pity.

Bleed, and Diablo smiles. Scream, and he chuckles. Plead, and more blood spills. Retaliate in any way, shape, or form, and it will always end up worse for you. Diablo will not reward rebellion, he gives no shits and even less fucks; the scariest part about him, the indifference. Diablo's sheer, cold-hearted insensitivity.

Imagine being "politely" talked down to, like a misbehaved child, scowled by their parents. Rubbing salt on the wounds, you dare take a tone with him? A quiet and patronizing, tut tut tut. A long tongue shadows your lobe in quick lustrous flicks, a smooth tease. Tempting and experimenting, his curious growl hollowing your lungs. Rumbling, crackling the ground like an earthquake aside in your ear. Punished like you're not a grown ass adult.

Diablo is a bastard, but we love him anyway.

Imagine hanging on strings. Being thrown back and forth like a rag doll, scoring a goal in the wall, held by the abused skin of your neck and still expected to apologize as if he's the one hurt, like he's the victim of abuse.

[robininthelabyrinth]

We’ve heard Jiang Fengmian as WWX’s bio father, now it’s time for Lan Qiren as secretly his father. (Please no Wangxian for this one!)

ao3

“You want me to what,” Lan Qiren said.

“Be the father of my child,” Cangse Sanren said. Simply and straightforwardly, as if that were just a thing people said.

Casually.

To their friends.

To their – as far as he knew – platonic friends!

“You’re married,” he stressed.

“Yes, Qiren-xiong, I’m aware,” Cangse Sanren said, her eyes bright with mirth. “I was even there through some of the festivities. Though not all, of course, since the bride gets sent away far too early at these things, and of course then there was all the liquor –”

“Cangse Sanren,” Lan Qiren said through gritted teeth, wishing not for the first time that his friend had an actual name rather than merely a title – something he could use or not use to emphasize his feelings on the subject.

She laughed at him, because of course she did.

“Let me explain,” she said, probably because she sensed that he was considering stabbing her if she didn't. “Lao Wei and I –”

“Aren’t you older than he is?” Lan Qiren asked, dubious. “Possibly by several centuries?”

“Humans call their husbands that,” Cangse Sanren said, waving her hands at him. “Don’t bother me with details.”

“…you’re human, right?”

“Of course! This is the fourth time you’ve asked, and the answer hasn’t changed. Why would you ever think otherwise?”

“The way that you continuously refer to – no, I’m not letting you distract me this time. Explain yourself!”

Cangse Sanren giggled into her sleeve. “We want children,” she said. “But he can’t, you see. Wrong parts. So we need someone else to be the sire, and I want it to be you.”

“Why?”

More giggling. “Because I like you. And why not?”

“And Wei Changze agreed to this?” Lan Qiren asked, slightly appalled. He knew Cangse Sanren well enough to assume that the answer had to be yes, and yet still...

“Yes, he did, but you’re welcome to talk with him directly. In fact, I encourage it.”

“Perhaps I will,” Lan Qiren said.

Wei Changze was a pleasant person, even if he and Lan Qiren weren’t direct friends – Lan Qiren was a bit too inflexible and serious, Wei Changze a little too free-spirited and light-hearted, so they’d never entirely bonded, but they were both very fond of Cangse Sanren in all her strangeness, each in their own way, and that was enough of a basis for a decent relationship.

“I’d be honored if you would agree,” Wei Changze said when Lan Qiren asked. “You’re my wife’s favorite person besides me – why not you?”

Lan Qiren could think of many, many reasons why not.

“I don’t want to impact your relationship with her,” he said cautiously, and Wei Changze blinked at him as if to say how would it do that? “If jealousy were to arise…”

“I don’t think that will be a problem,” Wei Changze said.

“…you understand that if I agree to your proposal, I would be sleeping with your wife.”

“Oh yes,” Wei Changze said. “Several times, I hope. We've got to make sure it takes, after all. On that note, can I watch?”

Lan Qiren was a man aware of his dignity. It was beneath his dignity to flail around like a teenager.

He flailed regardless.

“You don’t have to let me if you don’t want to,” Wei Changze said, but he was pouting. “I guess. I just think it’d be hot, that’s all.”

Lan Qiren put his head in his hands.

“You’re bright red,” Wei Changze observed. “Does that mean you’ll do it?”

“I don’t even like Cangse Sanren that way,” Lan Qiren said, voice muffled by his palms. “I mean, I like her, but I don’t – like her. Romantically. At all.”

“And I’m very happy about that,” Wei Changze said soothingly. “As is she, being as she married me and not you. You don’t need to have romantic or even sexual feelings about her, you just need to platonically bang her a few times.”

“…I will do it provided you never refer to it that way ever again.”

“Deal,” Wei Changze said, and grinned, waving his wife in through the door; she bounded in like a lion on the hunt, smelling blood.

“Additionally, we should be clear about what we expect regarding the child,” Lan Qiren said, even though he was already being carted along to the bed by Cangse Sanren’s excessive momentum and Wei Changze’s entirely unnecessary assistance in removing his clothing. “Obviously any child will be yours in every respect, legally and emotionally and otherwise, both of you, but if possible I would still like to see him –”

“Of course,” Cangse Sanren said agreeably, removing his pants. “Whenever you like.”

-

“Something is wrong,” Lan Qiren said firmly.

Yu Ziyuan scowled at him, even as her husband frowned thoughtfully. “Cangse Sanren is a rogue cultivator,” she said acidly. “It is not unusual for rogue cultivators to go a few months without contacting their friends in the cultivation world.”

“We have an agreement that she would come by once every season or else send word. She has not missed a single instance, and yet now she does.”

“Why would she agree to meet so regularly with you? We barely see her once a year, if that,” Yu Ziyuan asked, and Lan Qiren knew her issues with Cangse Sanren were actually issues with Jiang Fengmian, but it still irritated him to be used as a pawn in their troubled marriage.

“If you do not intend to help me search, then just say so,” he said heavily. “I fear that something has happened to her, and I intend to find her; I would like your help, but will proceed without it if need be. If all is well and she just decided not to come, and also not to send word or any other sign, then I will apologize for the inconvenience and repay you any monies expended. But if not…”

“I will help,” Jiang Fengmian said, and Yu Ziyuan looked on the verge of exploding.

“I’ll leave you to sort that out,” Lan Qiren said, shaking out his sleeves and leaving at once. As per their agreement, Cangse Sanren brought Wei Ying to the Cloud Recesses once every season or else sent word explaining her absence – the lack of any word this time was deeply troubling. After all, in the end, despite Cangse Sanren’s relatively humble goals and low-key life, there was always that doom said to be associated with those who left the immortal mountain…

He worried.

He’d planned to tell Cangse Sanren about He Kexin’s death during her present visit, had hoped that Wei Ying’s presence might help lift Lan Zhan’s mood after the loss of his mother and give him some comfort – Wei Ying was Lan Zhan’s favorite person in all the world, bar none, and he had waited so anxiously, if wordlessly, for him to arrive during the month that they expected Cangse Sanren and her family to come. And yet the days ticked by and he didn’t arrive at all…

Lan Qiren worried.

Still, with Jiang Fengmian’s help, and of course the Nie sect’s – Lao Nie hadn’t hesitated to agree, even though unlike Jiang Fengmian he did not have a personal connection to either Cangse Sanren or Wei Changze and was acting wholly on account of his friendship with Lan Qiren – they would be able to cover a great deal of the cultivation world, especially given that Cangse Sanren disliked both Lanling Jin and Qishan Wen and was unlikely to venture into either of their territories.

They would find her.

He hoped that they would find her.

-

“Well, that was a meeting full of revelations,” Lao Nie said, eyes curved into crescents of mirth. “The only thing that would have made it better is if you’d ended your sentence with ‘so fuck off’. You know, so that it would’ve been ‘Because he’s my biological son, so fuck off’.”

“It isn’t anyone else’s business,” Lan Qiren said querulously. “I don’t consider him my son – he’s Wei Changze’s son! His surname is Wei for a reason! The exact mechanics of his conception are private-”

“Are they? Too bad, I’d have liked to hear about it.”

“Lao Nie!”

“What? It’d be hot.”

“Wei Changze said the same thing,” Lan Qiren grumbled. “What is wrong with all you people? Anyway, that was not my point; we can discuss your sexual titillation later. My point is that Wei Ying should not have a shadow cast over his parentage – I should not have had to reveal that fact at any point.”

“You had no choice,” Lao Nie said, not without sympathy. “Given that Wei Changze was a former disciple of the Lotus Pier, Jiang Fengmian had the better claim to custody absent that fact. Never mind that you were Cangse Sanren’s close friend, or that they came to visit you more often; never mind that Yu Ziyuan is to this day only barely able to restrain her jealousy and hatred of the pair of them and would be made miserable by the boy’s presence on the Lotus Pier, and possibly make his life miserable in return; never mind that Jiang Fengmian already grossly favors the boy over his own children, a surefire recipe for disaster…you had to say what you said, Qiren. Wei Ying will be better off at the Cloud Recesses.”

“He’ll be a disaster at the Cloud Recesses,” Lan Qiren said, rubbing his temples. “He’s as free-spirited as his parents were. That’s the only hesitation I have…if it weren’t for all the other things you mentioned, Yu Ziyuan’s jealousy and the favoritism and all that, I would think he’d be better off among the Jiang.”

“He will make a very unique Lan,” Lao Nie acknowledged. “But he’ll be an adopted cousin to your nephews, and they’ll grow up as brothers. A-Zhan will be delighted.”

“Yes,” Lan Qiren said, acknowledging the point. At least there was that. “Yes, he will.”

“Maybe I’ll have a talk with Jiang Fengmian,” Lao Nie said, more to himself than Lan Qiren. “That poor Jiang boy, no one deserves to grow up with a real-life person being ‘another person’s child’. Perhaps I’ll see about inviting the boy over to the Unclean Realm more often. A-Sang could use a playmate…”

-

“You’re weird for a Lan,” Jiang Cheng said.

“That’s because I’m not a Lan,” Wei Wuxian laughed. “I’m a Wei! Lan Zhan’s a Lan, Xichen-da-ge is a Lan, but I’m not. Don’t let the white robes mislead you.”

Jiang Cheng coughed. “That’s not – what I meant.”

Wei Wuxian blinked at him.

“Well,” Jiang Cheng said, abruptly looking extremely awkward. “Your father’s a Lan, isn’t he? Teacher Lan.”

“Oh, that! No, he’s not. Easy mistake to make,” Wei Wuxian assured him. “Lots of people think that, what with me knowing the Lan sect rules backwards and forwards and upside down – mostly so that I can haggle my punishments down when I break them, that's how I learn them best – but actually I’m Wei Changze’s son.”

Jiang Cheng’s face was red. “But…my dad said…”

“He helped,” Wei Wuxian conceded, tapping his nose meaningfully. “That’s why I’m so pretty! But Wei Changze was the one that wanted me, Wei Changze’s the one who gave me his surname; it’s his grave I sweep during Qingming. If you like, you can think of me as having been adopted into the Wei family; that’s common enough, isn’t it?”

“I guess so,” Jiang Cheng said, blinking. And then he said, sounding doubtful, “Do you really know all those rules?”

“All of them! You have no idea how much trouble you can make with a good set of rules.” Wei Wuxian grinned. “Want to see?”

“I – can we?”

“No,” Nie Mingjue said, stepping into the room. He looked tired, as always, but Wei Wuxian thought that there was never a time when he didn’t, certainly ever since he became sect leader too early. Lan Xichen was always worrying about him, and Lan Qiren, too, and since they were worried, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji had figured they might as well get in on the action. “Not in the Unclean Realm you can’t. Save it for the Lotus Pier, since the Cloud Recesses are too wise to you now.”

“No one is truly wise to my wicked ways,” Wei Wuxian boasted, and Nie Huaisang poked his head out from behind Nie Mingjue’s back and waved – he’d been dragged away to saber training, leaving Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng to try to make friends without him. Without Lan Wangji, too, which was even more unfair; how was Wei Wuxian supposed to represent the gentle snow and wild wind without his other half?

Stupid seclusion. Wei Wuxian was with his uncle in disliking it even when it was necessary.

Though Jiang Cheng was kind of cool…

-

“This is,” Lan Qiren informed Cangse Sanren’s memorial tablet, “entirely your fault.”

Despite her son’s newfound demonic cultivation skills – or his taste for revenge: he had taken the burning of the Cloud Recesses very personally, and the attack on the Lotus Pier, and so on his best friend Jiang Cheng, very nearly as badly, and that, somehow, had inspired him in new and even more uncontrolled ways – there was no response from the grave.

And yet, somehow, Lan Qiren suspected that he could hear her laughing at him.

[v-world]

Character Analysis of Moon Gang-tae

A really complex character. I know I’m late asf. Let’s get into it.

Honestly, I love how this character was written. I love how Kim Soo-hyun acted out this character. He showed every single emotion he was feeling without having to say a single word. He amazes me every time with his acting. How you can read his character’s emotions. How you sometimes have to really dig and analyse his face to even find the right words to describe how the character feels. He’s so talented.

But anyways, enough fangirling. Gang-tae has/had a love-hate relationship with his mother and brother. Don’t get me wrong, I know for a fact he loves them to the moon and back, but he also shows a little bit of resentment for the two. Understandably so, tbh.

His mother: 

-Confessed one night, while she was in a drunken state, that she birthed him to take care of his brother. When I heard her confess that? My heart broke. I cried for a good minute. I can’t imagine hearing that at his age (Not really sure what age it was but really young) and being able to come back from that and forgive her for saying that even though she isn’t really apologetic for what she said because she probably couldn’t remember. I know he was heartbroken because they were hugging when she said that and he let go of her slowly after. 

-One day, she punished him (by hitting him on the arm and on his side) for letting his brother go home first without him. On the way home, he was all beaten and bruised up. She yelled at and scolded him as she confessed that she only had him learn martial arts so he could protect his brother. He just stood there and took that beating. I think he felt like he deserved it a little bit. But I also think he was just exhausted of/over getting yelled at and punished because of his brother and being his bodyguard. She was mad at him for not protecting his brother. It is then where he lashed out at his mother, after he’d reached his limit of being punished for something he didn’t want or ask to do. He told his mother how he truly felt and, instead of sympathising with her son in that moment, asked him how he could say something like that.

-I completely understand that having an autistic child means needing to pay extra attention to that child. But that doesn’t mean that neglecting the emotional and physical needs of your other is right. Much less birthing one for the sole purpose of taking care of that child. That is wrong. I’m disgusted with the way she can’t control herself and her drinking (I know in that scene she was drinking for the ceremony of her husband but she got black-out drunk). Again, I know times get really f*cking hard and she might need just one more drink but c’mon. I’m disgusted that she couldn’t even acknowledge that Gang-tae is a human being with emotions and needs too. And I know that it’s hard having to manage both but what she did was just straight up wrong. If that’s what you birthed Gang-tae for, STFU and take that to the grave. Don’t mess up your child even more. I cannot respect her for neglecting and treating Gang-tae so horribly.

-However we are shown a few examples of the motherly love she’d shown Gang-tae and the, like, one time she showed him some sympathy when he was asleep. She understood and sympathised with him that it must have been hard for him too.

-When Gang-tae was on the roof with his best friend, he asked him if he thought his mother feels sorry for and regretted how she treated him. His best friend asked if it would make him feel better. Gang-tae shook his head no, tears beginning to fall. That broke my heart. Joo-ri’s mom came up and asked Gang-tae to understand his mom. To understand that it wouldn’t have been easy to raise two boys as a single mother. Especially one that’s autistic. It was there where I saw two things: 1) He was tired. He was tired of being understanding. He was tired of having to put someone else before him. 2) He understood how hard it must’ve been for his mother now that he’s in her shoes.

Sang-tae (his brother):

-He has some feelings of hatred toward him. Can you blame him? His mother told him that her sole reason for giving birth to him was to protect and take care of his brother. His life is dedicated to his brother. 

-We see these feelings of hatred when he contemplates on saving his brother from drowning. In that moment, he thought about what life would be like if he didn’t have the responsibility of looking after someone else and finally being able to think about himself. He thinks about how all those years of responsibility for someone else can go away if he just waited a little longer. If he let it happen. But it was then that we were shown that he’s still human. He’s still an emotional being. He still understands the concept of love and family. He knew he wouldn’t be able to do that and then live with that because he loves his brother. Even if his life is made harder because of him.

- Over time, he grew to love him so much more, so much so that he wanted to protect him. Protect him, even if it was at the cost of his own self. He hated himself for hating his brother and even seeing him as difficult at times. But what’s important is that he always brushed it off and understood.

-We see the true shared love between the brothers whenever Gang-tae tried his hardest to fake a smile that Sang-tae would hopefully recognize to assure him he wasn’t upset or angry or annoyed with him to protect his feelings. We also see it when Sang-tae saw Gang-tae’s true smile in his sleep. When he was able to truly recognize his true smile.

-He grew to love him so much, he was hesitant to let him go and live his own life without his brother under his protection. Sang-tae knew his brother didn’t want to let him go, so he reminded him: Sang-tae belongs to Sang-tae.Gang-tae belongs to Gang-tae. It was so beautiful to watch. Sang-tae heading on his own journey. Gang-tae realising it was time to live his own life and let his brother go.

-From a young age he had to grow up quickly and take responsibility of a child because of their mother’s untimely demise.  For all his life, he’s had to suck up his pride, put his feelings away, neglect himself and put someone else before him. But in the end, Gang-tae was finally able to do things he wasn’t able to before. Travel. Date. Just live his own life.

Gosh, I love this series.

If you enjoyed, please leave a like and reblog <3

~Thank you so much for reading~

[janumun]

Dear to the Fairest One of All (Twst Vil Schoenheit - Headcanons)

or how Vil goes about approaching one who’s captured his attentions.

Rated: SFW/General Audiences

Author’s Notes: 5 inch being the bare minimum requirement. 🤣🤣🤣 I admire how hard this [amazing!] man works behind the scenes to maintain and remain worthy of what he has. Guess we could all do with a partner who can tell us to get our shit together, when needed LOL. And that is also what I think his brand of ‘love’ translates to: actions, more than any sweet words of love, or confessions he might offer you (at least, at the very beginning of your relationship), as outlined in these headcanons. Thank you for asking for these and Vil, @lady-belladonna!

[Requests are open, up till the 11th of July, dear readers, if you’d to pop in and ask for something. Happy Reading!]

Being the recipient of Vil’s affections is bound to go hand-in-hand with his appreciation and respect for you. He’s a proud man (rightfully so) and only one who’s able to wrest his gaze towards themselves first — not beauty alone, neither sole hard work: rather, a combination — may ever be afforded the weight of his attraction. Vil is far more practical and grounded in realism to word his interest in you as ‘love’. But he is aware of his mind; enough to know he wants you close by.

He’s not one to try and garner your affection through granting you quick ‘favors’ or lavish attention, but, if you try and unravel Vil Schoenheit; observe him just that bit closely, you’d notice how focused his lessons seem to be upon you. To showcase his regard, in the one true form he knows how to. In his eyes, you’re a beautiful, diligent individual and he wishes to help tend to that fire of yours higher.

The best part about having earned this man’s affections is how he’s always willing to assist you; bolstering you to push yourself towards healthy growth. No one is more devoted — no one understands the true value of every single pain taken to obtain and hold onto something worth working towards; his goal — than Vil does. And it shows in his tutelage of you; of Vil’s efforts into trying to nourish one he deems is a diamond in the rough. Worth of being loved by the world.

To a superficial observer’s eye: Vil’s instruction of you seems almost cruel and stringent. Sympathies offered to the ‘poor, susceptible’ student that fell victim to Schoenheit’s demonic regimes. The Pomefiore dorm leader is often seen by the other residents, within their auditorium; pacing about you as if a great, terrible beast sizing its prey. Pointer tapping firm against your back when you falter in your pace. A guiding stroke of lithe fingers across your shoulders to correct your posture, before he resumes training.

None are aware, however, to how this very man kneels at your side when you’re stretched out exhausted, across the auditorium floor. Sharp amethyst; his gaze slipping across your form before it halts at the quiver of your legs. A single comment, uttered on an impassive voice: “Your leg muscles need to be worked back into form,” —is all the warning afforded before those graceful fingers curve about your leg, just above your ankle, to set on kneading that exhaustion out of you. One who knows Vil Schoenheit at any length has to know; this is not how Vil would ever subject himself — kneel for anyone; no matter who they might be. That gesture alone speaking volumes of his regard for you; he doesn’t even seem to realize how it might strike you, as out of the ordinary and come across as a shock.

“You’re staring, little potato.” An unintentional skewed pull of his mouth; it nearly knocks the breath from your lungs to see that sliver of a smile directed your way. Before it smooths back into insouciance and grace; you’re left mourning the loss of it.

“You did well today,” he isn’t sparing in his cut-throat dictation, but neither is he ungenerous with praise, when he believes one truly deserves it. Instructing you to meet him early next morning, 5am sharp, before offering you a hand up.

And you’re left wondering, for the first time, truly, if the Pomefiore dorm leader has always been as radiant to you, as he is now.

End Notes: Thank you for reading!

♧° Link to Master List °♡

[sassyhobbits]

Would That I, 4

masterlist

~~~

Rowan Whitethorn was furious.

Beyond furious.

He had left Mistward a week and a half ago, spending his time in the mountains, in that barren spot that had once been the cottage he had lived in with Lyria. He sat by her grave for hours on end, whispering to her, wishing that she could whisper back. She had always known what to say.

Lyria had been his mate. He had loved her. She had been sweet and kind and thoughtful.

Nothing like the half-feral assassin he had pulled out of Varese. 

But, according to the gods, she was his too. 

He had hoped the week of solitude would have given him an idea of what to do. Nothing became clear to him, no matter how long he beseeched the gods for some sort of sign. All he knew was that one morning he had woken up and realized he was running from his problems. And that made him a coward.

So, he had made the trip back to Mistward. He planned to send Fenrys on his way, to do what was ordered of him and oversee the girl’s training, no matter what.

Yet, when Rowan had arrived that morning looking for his comrade, he had only been told that Fenrys and Aelin had taken two mares the previous morning and had yet to return. Part of him hoped that Fenrys had thought of a training exercise that included travel.

But, Rowan knew Fenrys better than that. They had probably gone to drown themselves in alcohol in whatever town the young warrior felt like visiting that day.

Rowan had known the risk when asking the White Wolf to watch over Aelin while he was gone. He was never strict enough for Rowan’s tastes. Yet… Fenrys had been the only one he could trust not to tell Maeve about the fact that he had left the fortress so suddenly, not to ask questions. He knew that Fenrys would covet the opportunity to spend time with the Heir of Fire and wouldn’t jeopardize it by telling their queen.

Rowan waited for the pair to return. By late afternoon, he had half a mind to go out and track them down and drag them both back by the ear. He had headed down towards the kitchens, the quickest way to get outside, to do just that. However, he hadn’t needed to worry himself. He heard a familiar barking laughter before two figures strolled through the kitchen doors, side by side.

Aelin had looked up and locked eyes with him. So quickly, the bright smile she wore vanished, standing straighter, body tense.

He looked at her, wondering if simply seeing her again would lead to some sort of epiphany. But there was nothing besides a vague tug that he tried to ignore, telling him she was his mate. 

He clocked their posture, the casual arms they had wrapped around one another. Rowan’s nostrils flared as he scented them. At first, he was assaulted by the smell of horse, a bit of sweat. But beneath that… sex. Unmistakably sex.

Aelin seemed to understand what he had realized, not taking her eyes off of him and she took a casual step in front of Fenrys. She was trying to protect him.

Some primal, Fae part of him, deep down, was enraged. But, Rowan had no intentions of ever climbing into bed with the Firebringer. The girl must have been acting on what little knowledge she had of the Fae, thinking that he would rip into Fenrys for what he had done. 

He was more upset that Fenrys hadn’t done what was ordered of him.

Rowan stared evenly at Aelin before jerking his head towards the door. “Leave us.”

She blinked, those Ashryver eyes flaring in indignation. “I do not answer to you.”

Rowan bared his teeth. “That wasn’t a request.”

The girl opened her mouth, looking like she was ready to argue, but before she could even get started, a female voice sounded from behind him.

“Elentiya.”

Rowan glanced over his shoulder, finding a female he was vaguely familiar with, Arya, lingering in the threshold. Her dark, angular eyes skipped between the three of them. She was smart enough to recognize that the situation needed defusing. 

Arya looked towards Aelin, face softening. “I’m glad you’re here. We could use a hand with the laundry. Eryn hurt her ankle training today.”

Aelin still looked like she wanted to argue, but instead, took a deep breath, calming herself down. She gave a single nod of her head. Whatever had happened since he had left, Arya had managed to earn Aelin’s respect. That much was clear.

He held Aelin’s glare as she stalked past him towards where Arya waited. She lingered only a heartbeat longer before she disappeared with the Fae female around the corner, leaving him alone with Fenrys. There was only a heartbeat of silence before-

“Well, you look like you’re in a delightful mood today,” Fenrys chirped. 

A low, warning growl rumbled in the back of Rowan’s throat, showing that he was not in the mood for any of Fenrys’ snark. His companion’s mouth firmly snapped shut at the sound.

For a few moments, Rowan didn’t say anything, simply pinning the male across from him with his gaze. 

“I asked you to train her,” Rowan ground out at length. “Not fuck her.”

Fenrys was silent. A rare occurrence. 

“Tell me of what progress you’ve made with her then,” Rowan ordered, crossing his arms over his chest. “Has she mastered shifting at least?”

Still, nothing from Fenrys

Hot anger flashed through him again. “So. You’ve accomplished nothing, then? Except for drinking and gambling?”

“And dancing,” Fenrys mumbled. “She’s an excellent dancer.”

Rowan scoffed bitterly. “I wish I could say I’m surprised, but I didn’t expect much more out of that spoiled, useless brat.”

“Don’t speak about her that way,” Fenrys snarled, showing more backbone than he normally dared with Rowan. 

“You coddle her. She needs to learn, to take responsibility. She needs to be pushed.”

“Maybe she doesn’t. Maybe she needs kindness and friendship and comfort. Maybe all she needs is someone to be there for her.”

“You’re naive, boyo,” Rowan said. “She has lived a life shunning her responsibilities, shunning her birthright and her kingdom. Turning her back on her suffering people. She’s a coward and has been pampered by whatever master she has served for the past ten years.”

Fenrys bared his teeth, something in Rowan’s words setting him off. “You know nothing about her and what she has endured. Nothing.”

Rowan studied his companion for a moment, noting the anger and outrage on his face. Perhaps there was something Rowan truly didn’t know, or perhaps that assassin has spun fanciful tales to earn her sympathy instead of the scorn she deserved.

“Perhaps I don’t,” Rowan eventually said. “But I don’t care. I’ll finish her training from here. First thing tomorrow morning, you will return to your post.”

Fenrys looked as though he wanted to protest, but knew deep down there was no point. Rowan was his commander, and he had to do what he was told. The younger male eventually gave a stiff nod. 

Fenrys didn’t wait to be dismissed before he made to leave, his shoulder bumping against Rowan’s as he stalked out of the kitchen. His proximity gave the prince another whiff of Aelin’s scent on him: jasmine and ashes. It enthralled him. It enraged him. 

There was a dull throbbing between his eyes, the beginning of a headache. Rowan heaved a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. He surely had his work cut out for him.

…

Fenrys found Celaena later that evening. Arya had taken her to the laundry rooms and they sat by one another as they scrubbed dirty tunics in soapy water. The female could clearly see the tension Celaena held in her shoulders, the anger blazing in her eyes. Arya spoke soothingly about what had occurred in the compounds since she had left. Apparently, the kitchen boy, Luca, had a crush on Eryn. Eryn seemed to like him in return. Her little crush had apparently distracted her enough that she had lost her footing while training, leading to the injured ankle.

Celaena found that she appreciated Arya and her soothing words. She managed to help her calm down a bit, to get her mind off of Rowan and Fenrys and whatever was happening between them. She didn’t know much about mating bonds, but she remembered the stories from when she was younger and the Fae still lived on her continent. She remembered that the Fae could get territorial to the point of violence about their mates. She hadn’t wanted Rowan to hurt Fenrys because of what they had done, even if the prince had shown no inclination of wanting anything to do with her. She wasn’t sure what his instincts were telling him. 

But, Arya had talked her down a bit. She reminded Celaena of her mother. Evalin had always been able to calm her down when her temper had gotten the better of her, when her fires had threatened to come spewing out. Her mother had always known what to say.

Gods, did Celaena miss her.

Fenrys managed to find her as she and Arya were bringing the wet laundry to be hung to dry. Relief flushed through her when she saw that her friend was unharmed. Perhaps a bit angry, judging at the crease between his brows, but not hurt. 

He explained to her that he would be leaving the next morning, that Rowan would complete her training. Celaena couldn’t stop the feeling of dread from filling every inch of her at the idea of having to spend time with Rowan. 

Fenrys helped them hang the laundry and complete other chores. Night came quickly. The females that Celaena had been rooming with joined them for dinner. Fenrys acted as if nothing had changed, being his ever charming self. And though Celaena tried to smile and laugh, they didn’t feel genuine. Fenrys was leaving.

She didn’t want to be alone again.

Celaena slept fitfully in her little cot that night, her dreams filled with silver hair and a white-tailed hawk whose cry seemed to ring through her ears even after she awoke before dawn. 

She dressed and headed outside. There was still mist hanging above the dewy grass, the sky beginning to glow with the rising sun. She found Fenrys readying his mare, jaw clenched and face tight. But, his expression softened once he saw her there to say farewell.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think I’ll miss your gods-awful jokes,” Celaena said, trying to muster up a smile. 

“I make wonderful jokes. I would miss them too.”

Celaena laughed even as she felt her throat beginning to tighten. She hadn’t known Fenrys long, but the kindness he had shown her had left its mark. It was a wonderful glimpse of what could have been. Of what should be. 

Fenrys glanced up, studying the sky. His lips tightened. “Well. I suppose I should be on my way.”

"We'll see each other again. One day." Fenrys squeezed her shoulders, flashing that crooked smile. “Give him hell, Celaena.”

Celaena lunged forward, throwing her arms around Fenrys’ shoulders and hugging him tightly. He returned the embrace in full before pulling back and pressing a kiss upon the skin of her forehead.

"Thank you," she whispered. "For everything."

He offered her a sad smile before his gaze caught on something behind her, eyes darkening for a moment before they were back on her.

Celaena glanced over her shoulder in the direction Fenrys had been looking, finding Rowan lingering by the fortress, face stony and arms crossed over his chest. He was waiting for her, waiting for them to begin her training. She swallowed the lump of nerves that tried to lodge itself in her throat before looking at Fenrys.

The smile on her face was sharp as she vowed, “I will.”

~~

a/n: new part! hope everyone enjoyed. probably wont be able to get the next part out until my finals are finished. lmk what yall think!!

tags: @tiredbutstillreading @hellasblessed @thisismylibrary @miserablesmusings @empress-ofbloodshed @depressedreader @morganofthewildfire @sleeping-and-books @emily-gsh @ladyfireheart-and-buzzard @untoldstuff @swankii-art-teacher @poisonous00 @mis-lil-red @the-third-me @gracie-rosee @jesstargaryenqueen @pullnpeeltwizzlers @rowaelinismyotp @thewilderheart

[maggiecheungs]

Very important question; who are the top 5 best girls in The Tale of Genji?

VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION INDEED!!!!! and also one that is nearly impossible to answer, but I will do my best :)

Murasaki no Ue: it’s impossible for me to conceive of a version of this list that does not have her on it, because Murasaki is so much at the heart of this whole novel that it’s almost impossible to examine them separately (and that’s even before you start thinking about the elision of boundaries between Murasaki the character and Murasaki the author….). For me, she encapsulates so many of the key themes of the Tale, and her constant presence in Genji’s life—as a lover, as a confidant, as a wife, as a narrative foil—is one of the main things that gives the story it’s constancy. (I also love how Genji’s part of the story essentially ends with her death—just as Genji couldn’t exist without Murasaki the author writing him into being, he can’t live without Murasaki the character either.) But Murasaki is more than just a narrative device; I also love her for her character and personality. I love her for her intelligence and her talent; for the strength with which she deals with grief; for being stubborn and petty at times and more than just the one-dimensional ‘perfect wife’ she might so easily have been. And I love her for loving Genji, too, though it’s the source of so much pain. It took me a while to have any sympathy for Genji as a character, but ultimately, the thing that convinced me to start to care about him was Murasaki’s love for him, and his love for her. Without that, I wouldn’t have kept coming back to this book.

Ukifune: like Murasaki, Ukifune would be on every version of this list I make. I understand that not everybody feels this strongly about her, but for me she is another character who encapsulates so much of what makes the tale so powerful. In particular, she really represents the Uji chapters (the last 1/3 of the book, which take place after Genji’s death); I didn’t love them on my first reading, but over time I’ve grown to appreciate them as a masterpiece of psychological literature that I possibly love even more than the first part. In contrast to the vibrant world of the Shining Prince, the world of Uji chapters is claustrophobic and depressing and unbearably dark at times, and Ukifune is a young woman who is dragged into this world against her will. She does almost everything right—she’s modest, she obeys her high-ranking male lovers, she’s beautiful, she’s compliant. It’s still not enough. She is treated like an easy replacement for the dead sister she has never met; she becomes a pawn in the amorous competition between two high-ranking men; she’s isolated from everything she loves and driven to literal suicide. But! She lives. She lives and she decides that she’s going to escape, to reclaim her own life. So yes, Ukifune will always be on this list because I love her and I ache for her and I respect her so bloody much. (I screamed a bit more about her in these tags)

The Akashi Lady: not only do I love the Akashi Lady, I am alos a little bit in love with her. I think she is probably the character I would most like to marry. Also, I think she and Murasaki should kiss <3

The Akashi Empress: like mother like daughter <3 She doesn’t appear much, but when she does, she’s absolutely iconic (I have a particular fondness for her constantly being the only person in his life that Prince Niou is afraid of). But also? She’s on this list because she has an unusually happy life, or so we are told--she has a happy childhood, becomes Empress, is loved faithfully (and exclusively) by her husband the Emperor. In a book filled with so much sadness and suffering for its women, it makes me so happy to think of her, being allowed to live a good life. It’s what she deserves.

Taifu no Myobu: another minor character whom I love. Taifu no Myobu is the daughter of slightly lower-ranking courtier. She’s one of the few women in Genji’s life who appears not as a romantic conquest, but as a friend and partner in mischief (she’s the one who first sets him up with the reclusive ‘Safflower-nosed princess’, Suetsumuhana). As such, she’s allowed to show parts of personality that other women in the novel can’t: she’s mischeivous, she’s witty, she’s enthusiastic, she’s probably a little bit gay. I always smile when she’s on the page.

So that’s my five! (today’s top five, at least... 😭) Honestly, I have so much love for all of the women in this book, and they’re the ones who make me keep coming back to it to reread and reread and reread.

Also, I’m curious: who are your favourites?

[localcactushugger]

Honestly the thing that really pisses me off, the thing that really hurts the most, about the Hawks vs. Twice conflict is the fact that they had so much potential.

I know on my blog I post mostly about Hawks and bnha leaks, but Twice was by far my favorite Villian and I loved seeing him every time he showed up. I love and understand both Hawks and Twice.

And Horikoshi fucking robbed us.

He robbed us of potentially the most hilarious and pure bromance in all of Bnha history.

All because of the fucking plot.

Think of the beautiful dynamic these two already had! They were only together for what? 2, maybe 3 months at most? And during that time they both learned to sympathize with each other. They even laughed at each other's jokes!!

They actually cared about each other even though their goals and morals didn't exactly aligne.

Both of them saw each other as "good/ kind hearted people" who were deserving of sympathy:

"You're a swell guy!" "Right back at ya."

"You're a good person."

"Anyone who wants to help their friends can't be all that bad." "I know you're good natured." "Let's fly free together!"

"I empathize with their cause." "I wanna fly free"

LOOK AT THEM JOKING AND LAUGHING TOGETHER!!!

LOOK AT THE FINGER GUNS!!

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??? WE WERE ROBBED OF THIS:

I'm still so fucking salty about it. It's genuinely upsetting to me.

What's sad is that both of them genuinely cared and wanted to help each other. They just couldn't because their goals were so different.

Twice wanted to help his friends and "protect their happiness" more than anything, and that's why he was fine with helping them destroy/take over Japan. Because nothing matters more than the league's happiness. He'd burn down the world and "sell his soul" to make the Leauge happy! They were his friends. His family. They were his everything!

And Hawks' goal revolved around keeping the people of Japan safe. It revolved around making sure the Leauge didn't hurt anyone because "If you had just captured the Leauge when you had the chance . . ! Think of how many citizens might be alive today!" It revolved around making sure that "everyone would be able to laugh by the time the next cherry blossoms fall."

Both of them were kind hearted genuinely good people. The only difference is that they fought to protect different things.

But that doesn't mean they didn't care about each other or didn't reach out. Both of them reached out!

Twice reaching out: "I know we're being monitored right now, but I wish they'd stop spying on you! I get how you feel."

Hawks reaching out: "You've been unlucky, but you can make a fresh start once you pay for your crimes. I'll even help you start over! Because you're a good person."

Twice didn't know why a hero would sympathize with the liberation army. But a person who wanted to help his friends couldn't be that bad right?

Hawks knew how powerful Twice was and all the horrible things the Liberation army was planning for Japan. But Twice was good natured and kind right?

Both of them made efforts to understand each other. But neither of them could let go of their goals or the things they wanted to protect.

Twice remained loyal to the Leauge. To protect his friends happiness.

Hawks remained loyal to his mission. To protect the people of Japan.

Both characters were sympathetic towards each other, but at the same time they were both fiercely determined to do what they thought was right in the moment. It makes perfect sense story and character wise . . .

BUT THINK OF THE BROMANCE WE LOST!!

I'm still so upset about it!! I was so happy when Twice and Hawks started to warm up to each other, even though I knew it wouldn't turn out well.

Can you imagine these two doing finger guns? Laughing at each other's jokes?? Eating Yakitori together and making up secret handshakes???

They had such a pure, funny, bittersweet dynamic that pulled at my heart strings and made me laugh at the same time.

Honestly I don't know where I'm going with this. I just wanted to rant about the two of them for a bit because I love them both. And I just know if they weren't on the opposite sides of a war they would've been the bestest bros in the world.

Y'all can have whatever opinions you want about Hawks and Twice. But this is a post meant to appreciate their short-lived friendship and amazing dynamic. It's meant to appreciate and show love for both of their characters.

So please keep any bitter comments away from this post. I know everyone has different opinions about these two, but I've heard the debates a million times. Any disrespectful or mean notes will be deleted swiftly.

Just keep the vibes of this post nice okay? Why can we never have nice things in this fandom?

The whole Hero stan vs. Villain stan thing honestly ruins it for me, and I've quickly learned that It destroys all room for understanding and only creates division.

So whatever 12 yr old created the toxic Hero vs. Villain stan dynamic in this fandom, I hope you step on a Lego. Because I'm sure that dynamic has ruined a lot of characters for some people.

If you're someone who can't like a character just because they're a "villain" or a "hero", I'm genuinely sorry for you and I hope you know it's not your fault. This fandom likes to make the whole Hero vs. Villain thing a competition sometimes, and all the extremely biased metas don't always leave room for debate. Sometimes it can even make you feel like you have to pick a side. And it can make it hard for people to enjoy some character's as well.

People will try to demonize Twice.

People will try to demonize Hawks.

Obviously you can love whatever characters you want regardless of their roles in the story, but It's sad how that kind of division in a fandom leaves little room for understanding. And it's sad how quickly a fandom can ruin a character for some people as well. (I've had characters almost be ruined for me too. It sucks.)

Obviously, as a human being I also have my opinions, biases, and favorite characters. And having those isn't a bad thing! Just so long as you're respectful about it. And I'm saying this as someone who has, admittedly, partaken in the Hero vs. Villain stan dynamic once or twice myself. Even though I personally think that dynamic is dumb. I've also had moments where I've lost patience over "bad takes" I didn't like as well. I'm not perfect. No one is, and you can disagree with me all you like if you want. It's chill dude. 👌👌👌

But I would like to keep this post conflict free. In my opinion, Twice and Hawks are both genuinely good people. This is not something I will ever budge on. And i want to enjoy both of their beautiful characters just this once. I love and understand them both your honor. ✋😔

[dreamingaboutreid]

Hospital Bed Confessions: Chapter 7

*Continuation*

*Flash-forward*

Spencer was truly in awe. It had been 8 months since you joined the BAU.

Hotch seemed much happier with no more mountains of paperwork on his desk. All the files were neatly filed in Y/N’s office and his workload was greatly alleviated. He also had someone to confide to and understand a little bit of the pressure he had been experiencing.

Emily loved having a fellow Chesapeake Bay alumnus. With JJ being on mom-duty, Emily had a friend to go out with after she returned to the team, and they seemed to have plethora of things to talk about and relate to. He often heard them discussing their love of Kilgore Trout or favorite traveling destination.

Penelope was ecstatic to have another affectionate and loving member on the team. Y/N spent a lot of time with Garcia on deciding cases and it was evident how much they cherished each other. Y/N often brought in colorful collectibles and helped Penelope arrange them in her office.

Rossi respected Y/N’s focused yet good-natured character. They shared stories of their time in the military, which they rarely disclosed with the other members. He thought of Y/N as a daughter and took pleasure in sharing his knowledge of cars and whiskey.

JJ treated Y/N like a sister. It was obvious how similar they were. Both attentive and considerate with remarkable people skills. Y/N also became JJ’s go-to babysitter as JJ full heartedly trusted her with kids, which was a huge compliment coming from JJ.

Derek enjoyed Y/N’s company, who had a surprising knowledge of football, and would often make fun bets on what team would win the next game. He would also come to you for solid advice when he needed someone to level with him.

Not to mention, everyone was thrilled to go home at least an hour earlier normal, thanks to your fast but thorough write-ups you continued to do every day on behalf of the team.

For Spencer, you were a whole new world. He not only appreciated you as a hardworking member but as a new best friend.

You never interrupted him and seemed genuinely invested in whatever he said. Whether it was a new book he was reading or a new foreign film that came out. You truly made him feel heard and cared for. After he told you about Maeve, it felt like something was taken off his shoulder. Like you knew his pain and rather than only feeling sorry for him, they shared it together.

He also truly admired your ability to talk to people. Whether it was a serial killer who was holding a gun to someone’s head or a sobbing parent who had just lost a child or even an abrasive detective they had to work with, you just knew exactly what to say.

Spencer couldn’t place a flaw in you. The way you smiled, talked, listened, walked, ate, slept, heck everything, seemed so perfect to him.

When Blake came to his apartment to say her farewell, he was devastated. Another person was walking out of his life. But for the first time, he didn’t wallow up in his apartment by himself, blaming his eidetic memory for repeating all their conversations in his head or contemplating then shutting down his mental debate on taking dilaudid.

He didn’t hesitate to dial your number, and you appeared in front of his door in a matter of minutes. You had the ability to listen to his problems and somehow make them go away, or at least make him feel better.

While he always appreciated it, it bothered Spencer after a while how you never came to him when you wanted to feel better. You managed to carry all that weight without yourself ever breaking.

But he realized that it wasn’t anything personal. You just never showed much emotions to anyone, except for happy ones.

Spencer remembered when Derek asked you one day,

“How come you never come to us when you’re feeling down? There’s no way you’re always a ray of sunshine. Even baby girl has her emotional breakdowns.”

You had quickly brushed it off and said, “I’d rather make people smile than worry or cry.”

And it was the end of that.

Spencer often thought about this. Derek made a very good point. You were human after all.

But he knew that there was something much darker in you.

While you didn’t voice your emotions, your eyes told a different story.

When you were interrogating unsubs, your eyes became cold but your words remained calm and almost soothing, as if you were luring them out their lies to know their true intentions. When you were talking to victims or victims’ families, your eyes showed sympathy and it comforted whoever you were consoling when explaining that the unit was doing our best. And when you were talking to the ones you loved and cared about, you allowed your eyes to relax but there was a twinkle that he couldn’t keep his own eyes off of.

He hoped that you would open up to him, like he had to you.

But, it wasn’t too long until his wish was answered and he witnessed something that changed everything.

Y/N’s POV

You were exhausted.

It wasn’t the workload or rigor your job came with.

It was the emotional tole. You learned how to compartmentalize your feelings well from losing the ones you loved from experience.

But this job was different from talking to soldiers or serial killers. You were talking to normal people. You had unconsciously put your guard down and the emotions hit you little by little.

Every day, you walked in to deciding which cases to solve and you walked out hoping it was the right one to choose. The extra work you were doing actually helped keep your mind out of all the feelings and reality and helped focus your energy on something tangible.

You weren’t sure what came over you that day, but you had been on edge the whole jet ride back from a case. When everyone arrived back to the office, it wasn’t just you who was drained.

“Everyone go home early and get some ready. You deserve it. But report back tomorrow at 9 to finish your statements,” stated Hotch.

“I think I’ll stay back. Finish some of the paperwork,” you stated with a weak smile.

Hotch looked at you reluctantly.

“Are you sure? Everyone’s worn out. It’s okay to go,” Hotch said.

“It must be all the coffee,” you joked lamely, hoping Hotch took the excuse.

Hotch didn’t seem to notice as it was quite normal for you to stay late.

“Alright. Well, everyone thank Y/N on the way out and report back tomorrow at 10,” Hotch said as patted you on the back as he exited.

“Thanks for the extra hour of sleep,” Rossi stated as he walked towards the elevator.

“You’re an actual lifesaver,” Morgan commented.

As everyone said their respective greetings and left, you quickly ran up to JJ.

“Hey, JJ. Can I ask you a favor?” you asked.

“Of course! I owe you anyways,” JJ said.

“Do you mind if you give Spencer a ride home? Usually I take him, but I don’t want him to wait for me and he seems pretty tired,” you stated.

While you truly loved the arrangement you had with Spencer, you needed some space right now.

“Sounds like a plan. Just tell him I’ll be waiting in the car,” JJ said as she grabbed her belonging.

You thanked her and gave her a quick hug.

You turned and found Spencer already reading a book by his desk. Even though you thought Spencer always looked handsome, you had to admit that he did look tired.

“Hey, Spence. I think I’m going to stay a little late today.”

“Yeah, I heard you telling Hotch. I don’t mind waiting,” he said.

It must have been the pent up emotions you had been suppressing as you could feel your eyes slightly tearing up. You quickly forced them away, praying Spencer didn’t catch on. No matter how many times Spencer displayed his kindness and patience, you always appreciated his small acts of compassion.

“No, no. You must be exhausted. I asked JJ to take you home, and she’s waiting in her car for you. Seriously, get some rest,” you reassured Spencer.

After a bit of reluctancy, Spencer replied,

“Okay, I probably shouldn’t keep JJ waiting for too long. Thanks, Y/N. Don’t stay too late.”

You simply nodded and you watched Spencer walk away while looking back.

You waved, indicating that it was okay to leave.

After he finally left, it was just you, all alone. You turned off the lights in the pit, making it pitch dark, and walked into your office.

Closing your door and only turning on the light on your desk, you went to the corner of the room and sank down as you burst into tears.

It wasn’t the first time you had a breakdown. But it was always behind closed door. In the bathtub in your house. In the comfort of your bed. At the safety of your house. But today, you couldn’t hold it until you went home.

As you wept, you hoped the tears you released would somehow erase the remorse you felt. You sobbed without anything holding you back until you felt a looming presence over your crouched figure.

“Oh my gosh, Spencer. You startled me, I didn’t notice you were here,” you quickly said as you tried to wipe away the evidence of your momentary vulnerability. You didn’t need a mirror to know that it was an unsuccessful attempt.

“Sorry, I saw the light in your office and thought you’d be in here.”

“Did you forget something?” you asked, puzzled by his unexpected return.

“No, I just didn’t want you to be all alone so I told JJ that she could just go home,” Spencer said softly.

He continued, “I also saw you were a bit uneasy earlier.”

So Spencer hadnoticed.

“In fact, it seemed like you were stressed the whole day. Are you okay?” he asked.

You weren’t sure if it was the display of Spencer’s empathy again or the fact that he recognized something was bothering you when you were able to hide it from a group of profilers, but you felt the tears reappearing again and you didn’t want to hold back.

You broke into sobs for the second time that day and slowly slid back into the position you were originally in.

Spencer didn’t hesitate to join you as he sat and put a tight protective arm around you while he just let you cry.

“Am I making the right decisions? Who am I to choose who dies or lives? What if….” you trailed as you muffled all your worries into his chest.

For the first in a long time, you felt safe in the arms of someone else. You didn’t have to, or heck, want to hide yourself anymore. When Spencer held your hand, you knew.

You looked up to see the most understanding eyes, and you knew right then and there that you had found your person.