#and her funeral is tomorrow and i’m not going and i don’t think that’s right? but i can’t

[1ovestay]

won’t lie, experiencing some horrors

[zepskies]

Take Me Home - Part 3

Pairing: Beau Arlen x F. Reader 

Summary: You are another lost soul at Sunny Day Excursions. You’re aiming to settle in Helena, Montana, where Beau Arlen is the new sheriff in town. But you’ve both got a past you’re running from. 

AN: I’m being continuously blown away by your lovely responses on this story. Thank you so much! I truly appreciate all the love for our cowboy sheriff and where TMH is going.

Word Count: 6.6K

Tags/Warnings: Angst, hurt/comfort, a heart-to-heart, flirtations, and invitations taken…

❤️ Series Masterlist

Part 3: Welcome Home

In the next twenty-four hours after Mary was found, the police’s investigation led them to a man named Walter. He’d been living in the woods, and was suspected of stalking the camp for days. 

He was arrested as a prime suspect in Mary’s murder at Sunny Day Excursions, along with Paige’s; even though they’d yet to find her body, the police did confirm that she'd never made it home to New York.

They also found Luke later that night. His body was pierced to a tree by an archer’s arrow. 

The campers were sent home shortly after Walter was arrested. 

And three days later, your aunt Denise gingerly took a seat on the edge of the couch you’d been lying in all day (and all week so far). She swept her fingers over your greasy hair in both comfort and affection. 

Denise Brisbane was your mom’s sister. She was a private investigator here in Helena. And as you found out, she actually worked with Cassie Dewell, the woman you’d met at the camp, who was still in search of a missing backpacker.

“You’ve barely moved in days, honey,” Denise said.

Her face was sympathetic and sad, watching you. Though you felt the sting of guilt, feeling like a burden that had just been unloaded on your aunt, you didn’t want to leave your warm blankets. Your body felt heavy and useless.

“Good news though. The rest of your stuff ships in tomorrow,” she said, continuing to pet your hair. “I’ll help you move into your new apartment. How does that sound?”

You gave a weak nod. “Thanks.”

She sighed. “I’m not trying to kick you out, hun. I just think it’ll be good for you to start getting on your feet.”

You agreed, wordlessly. In your head, you knew she was right. You couldn’t sleep on her couch forever, and perhaps more importantly, you couldn’t let this beat you down forever.

“You sure you don’t want to talk about it?” Denise asked, squeezing your shoulder. “Your mom wanted to get the first flight out here, but I told her I’d take care of you until you go home for the funeral.”

You were grateful for that. As much as you loved your mother, you didn’t want to be smothered right now. Your mom’s version of comfort could only include a heavy dose of smothering. The one thing you had been able to do was call Mary’s parents.

That had been a long and painful conversation. After which, you slept like the dead for two days straight.

Denise broke you out of your wandering thoughts when she handed you a business card. It had a banyan tree emblazoned on it, along with the name of a grief counseling center.

“Cassie’s actually been going here, and she’s liked it so far,” she said.

At your furrowed look of confusion, she added, “Look, it’s okay if you don’t want to talk to me, but I think it would be good for you to talk to someone. Maybe someone who understands what you’re going through.”

You sighed and flipped the card through your fingers. You really, really didn’t want to go. You could already what your father would say if he knew you went to a grief counselor. His form of “therapy” was the growing collection of bourbon behind his desk.   

But if it meant you’d stop being a lump in your aunt’s living room, then maybe you could give it a shot.

“Okay,” you nodded. Your voice was a bit coarse with disuse. Denise gave you a smile, and a warm hug that felt like home. She even offered to make your appointment for you.

You were a little annoyed though. Now you’d have to actually get up and put on a bra.

“Maybe shower first, huh?” she advised, while she helped you get up.

“Yeah, yeah,” you replied.

A hot shower, washing and styling your hair, putting real clothes on, and overall making yourself presentable actually made you feel human again. You even surprised yourself by putting on a bit of makeup.

Once you made it to the grief counseling center in your car, however, you sat in the parking lot for a minute. You had to take a moment to breathe. Because you knew you were going to be asked what happened. You were going to have to get into it all over again.

Even after you were able to leave your car and brave through the carpeted halls of the building, your hands were shaking. At the reception desk, an older woman directed you down another long hallway to the group session. It was the only one available on short notice, but she promised that if you found the session helpful, she could help you book another group session, or even a solo session.

You weren’t sure if you were ready for “solo,” but a group appealed to you. Maybe you could just sit in the back and let the others talk.

The counselor, Tom, greeted you when you walked into the right room. It was a small room with a bunch of chairs formed in a circle at the center. No room to hide, you thought with growing unease. You glanced over and saw that there were a few people already milling about, making small talk in a cluster near the circle.

“We’re gonna start here in a few minutes, but until then, you can take a seat,” said Tom. “There’s also coffee and cookies over there, if you like.”

Coffee. Coffee was warm, and it might settle your nerves and help you perk up a bit. You thanked him and went for the carafes on a small table in the back. You poured some coffee into a Styrofoam cup and poured a little sugar and creamer into it, but after you took an experimental sip, you immediately regretted it.

Tastes like damn soil water! You made a grossed out sound and spat it back into your cup.

“Yeah, wouldn’t recommend the joe,” drawled a familiar voice. 

You turned sharply to find Sheriff Beau Arlen. He gave you a sympathetic look as he reached for a cup of water. Seeing him took you by such surprise, you gasped with a slight flinch, accidentally spilling some scalding coffee on yourself in the process. 

You held the cup away from you fast, but a few drops still flecked on your jeans, and even his boots. 

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” you gasped again. Beau just smiled good-naturedly and grabbed a few napkins off the table.

“It’s all right,” he said. “I’m the one who snuck up on you. Accidentally, I might add.”

He handed you the napkins so you could soak up the coffee from your hand and arm. Meanwhile, he took your half-empty coffee cup and tossed it in the garbage. Your damp wad of napkins joined the cup.

And when you finally looked up at him again, you both found yourselves smiling, despite where you were. It was the first time you’d been able to smile in days.

“Sheriff Arlen,” you greeted. “I did not expect to see you here…”

His smile faltered at that, but his hand reached back to sort through his short hair at the back of his head. 

“Ah, call me Beau,” he said. “I have a feeling we’re about to get to know each other better.”

You agreed to that, just as you agreed to join him for a seat within the circle of chairs. He leaned back in his chair and swept a hand through his hair again, perhaps in a nervous gesture. You glanced over at him, saw the way he smoothed a hand down his jeans when his knee started bouncing…

Could he be as anxious as you? You had to wonder why he was here, for grief counseling of all things. The thought sobered you as more people filtered in and took their seats. Tom eventually got things started from his spot across from you in the circle.

“Okay, we’ve got a couple of first timers to this group session, so tell you what,” he said. “Let’s go around, introduce ourselves, and share something interesting. Whether it’s what you do for a living, a new hobby you picked up, or keeping it even more simple, something fun you did this week.”

You looked down at the folded hands in your lap. If binge watching entire seasons of Succession and sleeping until noon every day counted as something fun, then you were all set.

The introductions started to his left, so it took a while before it got around to you. There was that little flutter of nerves in your stomach, like you were a kid again, and it was the first day of school (but worse).

Luckily, Beau was before you. You were curious about what he would share as he let out a subtle clearing of his throat.

“Hi there, I’m Beau Arlen. Some of you know me as the new sheriff over at Helena PD.” He greeted everyone with a short wave, though he tossed you a smiling glance. “You might also be able to tell that I’m from Texas. Born and bred in Houston. I moved up here to stay close to my daughter, who’s living here with her mother…my ex-wife.”

He tacked on that last bit after a slight pause. But he recovered quicker than you could process and gestured to you next. You forced yourself to perk up, putting your “teacher’s hat” on as you tried to meet everyone’s eyes. First, you gave them your name.

“I’m also from out of town, from Chicago,” you said, glancing at Beau. His expression was encouraging. It gave you the small boost you didn’t know you needed. “I’m a college professor, formerly of the University of Chicago…but I start at Caroll College in the fall.”

Beau’s brows rose as his lips twitched upwards. You tried not to blush as you passed on the introductions to the next person.

The session itself was light overall. Tom talked about the stress that often came with the unknown—with moving past a challenging time, or tackling a new project, or even moving to a new and unfamiliar city. He didn’t force everyone to chime in about themselves, but the ones who were ready to share took the floor one by one. And by the end, you thought that you’d gleaned some useful tidbits just by listening.

Hell, maybe you’d even come back here.

When the session was over though, you were kind of relieved. You grabbed your purse and got up to leave.

“Well, that was relatively painless,” Beau said, also getting up from his seat.

“Yeah, wasn’t so bad,” you replied. Your name fell from his lips in the form of a question, earning your expectant gaze.

“Listen, uh, can I buy you a real cup of coffee?” he offered. “We might not have met under the best of circumstances, but I just heard recently that you’re Denise’s niece. Well, I’m friends with the gals over at Dewell & Hoyt, your aunt included, so I just thought it’d be good to get to know each other, being that we’re both kinda new in town, and—”

You set a light hand on his arm. That one touch was able to stop his rambling, along with the sight of your amused smile up at him.

“Coffee sounds great,” you said.

You decided there was no real harm in meeting him at the nearest coffee shop, just a few minutes away.

It was hard not to associate the sheriff with that terrible night at the camp, but you knew that wasn’t fair to him. He seemed like a nice guy, and by the way he talked about his daughter, maybe even a good man.

In your experience, a good man was hard to find.

“So, what do you teach exactly?” Beau asked. He’d just finished telling you about Emily starting a summer internship with Cassie and Denise at the private investigation agency. Like father like daughter, you’d remarked. Beau’s soft, but proud smile had been telling.

“English literature,” you replied to his question, sipping at your cappuccino. He was drinking a hot French vanilla latte, which kind of amused you. You had expected him to order an Americano or something.   

“Oh, yeah? What sort of classes?” he said.  

“The greatest hits, basically,” you explained. “Composition, English grammar, Shakespeare…Twentieth Century British Literature.”

“Oh, is that all?” he chuckled. It charmed a smile out of you. 

“I don’t know why I asked. I didn’t even go to college,” Beau said. It finally succeeded in making you laugh.

“Straight to the police academy, then?” you asked.

“Like a cannonball, heels a blazin’,” he said, miming a gunshot with his hand. 

“Like a rhinestone cowboy,” you teased. And you felt brave enough to hum the riff of the Glen Campbell song. 

Beau shook his head with a grin. He’d seen you, all tightened up and anxious throughout the group session, even though it had been pretty lightweight. He could relate to your discomfort. He’d made a conscious effort to talk very little about himself and gave the others the room to tell their stories.

Beau liked seeing you more relaxed though. He liked your smile, the glimpses of your sense of humor shining through. He liked that he was somehow able to bring that out of you for a while. 

“I still can’t believe you're Denise’s niece,” he said, once again shaking his head. “What a small world.”

“Yeah. I’ve been crashing on her couch for the past week,” you admitted. “But I have the rest of summer to settle into my new apartment, starting tomorrow. I’ve got my whole life shipping in on a truck.”

Beau nodded at that. He contemplated whether it’d be appropriate for him to offer you some help with that. The question was on the tip of his tongue, until he saw the way your mood saddened. You sat contemplating your coffee mug.

“I asked her to come,” you confessed. When your eyes met his, they shone with the beginning of unshed tears. “The camping trip was Mary’s idea, but I asked her to come with me to Helena for the week. She wouldn’t have been there if it wasn’t for me.”

Beau let out a deep breath and met you with a more somber, understanding gaze. 

“It wasn’t your fault,” he said. He was reminded that they had Walter in custody. He wasn’t yet willing to break and confess to the murders at Sunny Day Excursions, but they had him.

“I promise, we’ll get justice for Mary,” Beau added. You sighed and wiped a tear from your cheek.

“Do you think you have the right man?” you asked, speaking of Walter.

“I do,” Beau replied. “He’s being stubborn, but all the evidence points to him.”

You nodded gratefully, but you had to try and breathe through your tumultuous emotions, the way your heart was cracking with pain. You didn’t want to break down in the middle of a damn coffee shop.

Again, Beau wrestled with the inclination to cover his hand over yours. He felt like he was toeing the line between his professional capacity as a sheriff, and the fact that you were his friend’s niece. He wanted to comfort you the best he could. But sometimes, words just weren’t enough.

You took a half-hearted sip of your coffee. By now, it was lukewarm, if still tasty and sweet. It was healthier than whiskey, you supposed.

“She was like…like my sister, you know?” you said. “I feel like I failed her.”

Beau shook his head, his dark brows furrowing. He didn’t know how many times he could say it wasn’t your fault, knowing you probably wouldn’t ever believe it.

That struck a familiar bell.

“Look, I uh…I understand what you’re going through,” he admitted. Your watery gaze found his again. Your head tilted in interest.

He sighed before answering your unspoken question. “I lost my partner on the job, now a couple years back.”

“I’m sorry,” you replied, and your sympathy was as genuine as his had been for you. “I’m guessing you two were close.”

Beau’s lips quirked at one corner. “He was like my brother. Matter of fact, I think it used to make my own brother jealous.”

You processed that with a sad frown, though your brows soon rose in curiosity.

“You have a brother?”

“Yep,” Beau nodded. The brief shadows in his eyes lifted at the merciful change of topic. “Good ole’ David. I still call him Davey, even though he hates it.”

A smile played on your lips. “Older or younger?”

“Younger, by a few years,” he replied. There was a more natural gleam to his smile then. “He’s a hotshot doctor back in Houston.”

He teased, but you could see there was pride behind his eyes. It reminded you of the way he got whenever he talked about Emily.

“So you know my story. What brought you to Montana?” he asked. He wanted to see if he could help you get your mind off Mary. He didn’t know that he’d just pulled the pin on a whole other grenade. 

You let out a wry chuckle. 

“Uh, oh,” Beau said warily. 

You nodded. He did tell you his story—ex-wife with a new husband, daughter, a new job in Montana—though you still didn’t know why he was going to grief counseling. If it was because of his partner, you could understand that…but you also didn’t want to pry.

You also knew it was only fair to answer his question.

“It’s not exactly like your situation but…I was engaged,” you said at last. 

Past tense, he noted. 

“Good guy?” he asked. 

“A firefighter,” you replied. Though you knew well the rivalry that sometimes existed between cops and firefighters. Beau’s growing bemusement told you he was thinking along the same lines. 

“Ah, a smoke eater, huh?” But his smile faded. “Did something happen to him on the job?”

“No,” you said, again with that weary chuckle. It was hard for you to get this out, but you’d been wrestling with it for over six months, damn near a year. It was enough. 

“Just a couple months before the wedding, I found out he’d been cheating on me with his college girlfriend…pretty much throughout our whole relationship,” you said. 

Though you promised yourself that you’d never cry over this again, today had already been incredibly difficult. The tears came, and you couldn’t stop them. 

Beau's brows had risen high in surprise. Then, a deeper sympathy settled in his eyes.

“Jesus. How long?” he asked.

“We were together three years, engaged for about another one,” you said. “Almost four years of my life, just…”

You mimed a puff of smoke blowing out of your hand. 

“Yeah. I know the feeling,” Beau said. His tone was wry as he dragged a hand over his beard. You gave him an apologetic look.

“I’m sorry. I know my story doesn’t compare with a marriage,” you said.

“That’s not what I was gettin’ at,” he replied. “But I get it. You start to think, what the hell was it all for? …Except for my daughter.”

“Yeah. Unfortunately, I don’t have an Emily,” you said. At the same time though, you were very glad you never had kids with that man.

Beau frowned when he saw the way your face fell further, becoming distant, and lost in old memories. 

“Afterwards, I…I checked out, you know? I could barely focus on my students, my family, my friends.” Your nails drummed on the countertop. You shook your head as it all filtered through your mind again. “But the last straw was that my dad tried to get me to work things out with him, and I just…I lost it. Beau, I absolutely lost my shit.”

Beau grimaced. “What made your dad think that would work?”

“He’s a retired firehouse chief,” you said, with a purse of your lips. “He’s always had a soft spot for Michael.”

“Michael, huh?” Beau quirked a brow. “That come with a last name?”

You shot him a look of amusement. 

“What, are you going to run his LUDS?” you joked, but you couldn’t prevent a sniffle as a new wave of emotion threatened an upswell.

You felt pathetic. This man was the whole-ass sheriff of this town. He probably had more important things to do than listen to you complain about your imploded relationship. But you were also Denise’s niece. Maybe he just felt sorry for you.

He offered you a napkin. “Sorry it’s not a tissue.”

In his eyes though, you didn’t see pity. Just kindness.

“It’s okay. I can brave a scratchy napkin,” you said, laughing a little. “But after that, I knew one of two things was going to happen. Either I was going to break open my dad’s gun safe and shoot the bastard in the ass, or I had to get the hell out of Chicago. My mom and Aunt Denise suggested I come here for a visit, just to clear my head. That turned into scoping out jobs, and then apartments… Now I’m here.”

That fell between you for a moment as your companion processed it all. In hindsight, you probably shouldn’t have mentioned that whole bit about possibly shooting your ex, but he took it in stride. 

“Well, for what it’s worth, I’m glad you are,” Beau said. “Here, that is.”

You couldn’t help but blush; at his words, the deep green of his eyes, and the sincerity of his smile.

“Likewise, Sheriff,” you said.

He smirked. “Also glad you didn’t go shootin’ people in the ass.” 

You covered your face and laughed. 

Beau walked you to your car like the gentleman he was, even though it was only late afternoon. You opened the driver’s side door, but you lingered there. You turned back to him, curling a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Thanks for the coffee, and for letting me ramble, and vent, and soak up a few dozen napkins,” you said. You laughed a little in embarrassment, but he waved it off.

“It wasn’t as bad as all that, but good luck movin’ into your apartment tomorrow,” he said. Then it was his turn to hesitate. “If you need some help with that, just let me know.”

You blinked, mouth parting in soft surprise.

“Oh, thank you but…I don’t want to trouble you,” you said.

“You wouldn’t be. That’s why I offered,” he replied, smiling down at you in a way that had you melting a little bit more. “I’ve got an early shift tomorrow, but after, I could probably pull in Cassie. Maybe even Jenny, if she’s up for it. She’s one of our deputies at the PD.”

Beau recognized your hesitance.

“It wouldn’t be any trouble, I promise,” he said, holding a hand over his heart. “We’ve gotta welcome you to the neighborhood, don’t we?”

You were still a little unsure, but you agreed to it with a thank you, along with a more shy, sweet smile.

Beau liked that smile too.

Later that day, Beau remembered it was his turn to host the ritual movie night Friday with Cassie and Jenny. His trailer was too small to have it inside, so they set up Cassie’s projector out in front, by the fire. According to his friends, he was going about the night with too much cheer.

“You’re entirely too smiley to have just come from an afternoon of therapy,” Jenny pointed out. She uncapped her second beer, then passed him the bucket. He waved her off; he was still nursing his first beer of the night. If he stuck to his plan, then it’d be his only beer of the night.

“Aw, it wasn’t so bad, actually,” he said. He explained that you had been there at the group session. The moment your name was mentioned, Cassie and Jenny both raised their brows.

“Really?” Cassie remarked.

“Yeah. Losing her friend really shook her up. Understandably,” Beau said. His gaze lowered when he played through his afternoon with you in his mind. Though your situations were different, both in your lost friends and lost relationships, he realized just how much he’d understood and connected with a near stranger.

That kind of thing didn’t happen to him often, if ever before.

“But, she’s actually moving into her new place tomorrow,” he added, breaking himself out of his own head. “Speakin’ of, would you two have the time to help her and Denise out? I already said I would come by after shift tomorrow.”

Cassie and Jenny shared a certain look—the kind these women donned when they were having a private conversation with just their eyes. This time, it seemed to be about him.

“What?” he asked, his hands spreading wide.

“Nothing,” Cassie said, smiling. “Sure, I can come.”

“Yeah,” Jenny agreed, “barring nothing too crazy happens on shift.”

Beau inclined his head. “Knock on wood there. Anyway, what’re we watching?”

“Crazy, Stupid Love,” Jenny grinned, holding up the DVD cover. “For Ryan Gosling, of course.”

Beau rolled his eyes.

A few months ago, he wouldn’t have expected that he’d make friends with exclusively women in this town, but he only complained about it in times like these.

Though as it turned out, he enjoyed the movie. There were as many hilarious scenes as there were poignant ones. By the end of the night though, he was beat.

Jenny helped with the cleanup, but she ended up taking off first. It left Beau to put away the fold-up chairs with Cassie.

“So, tell me,” she said, in a leading tone and with a teasing smile. “You crushing on Glamper Girl for real now?”

Beau shot her a wry look.

“She’s not a glamper anymore,” he pointed out. “And I’m not crushing like some teenager. I just want to help her out. She’s been through a lot…and she’s Denise’s family. It’s just the right thing to do.”

Cassie laughed. “That’s a lot of over-explaining you’re doing right there, but okay, Beau.” 

He rolled his eyes, but he had to smile. “Okay, that’s it. I’m gonna have to insist you get off my property.”

“Off what, your tin can?” she retorted.

“Hey! She can hear you.”

Beau wiped the sweat from his brow strategically while he carried his end (the heavier end, he might add) of your couch. He and Jenny were trying to get it up the stairwell to your apartment on the second floor.

“Okay now, just pivot on this corner,” he instructed. “Pivot!”

 Jenny nearly dropped her end out of sheer aggravation. Her blue eyes cut down to his.

“If you say pivot one more time, I’m gonna shoot you,” she snapped.

Beau whistled in amusement. “Threatening to shoot the sheriff. Now that’s at least a misdemeanor.”

Right as he could almost see the fumes coming out of his deputy’s ears, you hustled up the stairs to help them. You picked up the middle to make it easier.

“Okay, we can do this! I think we can just tip it on its side to get it around the corner,” you said.

To everyone’s relief, your suggestion worked. Denise held the door open while the three of you got the couch up to the second floor, then into your apartment. Once the couch was successfully in the living room, you went to the kitchen and grabbed a few bottles of water out of the fridge. You handed one each to Beau and Jenny.

“Thank you guys again so much for doing this,” you said, still catching your breath. You surveyed all the boxes and furniture you all had brought in, and you realized you were crazy to think you and Denise could’ve done all of this by yourselves.

“It’s our pleasure,” Beau nodded. He gestured to his sweating face and neck. “But do you have a towel or a rag or something? You’re about to be mopping me off the floor in a minute.”

“Yeah, of course. Hold on,” you said. You went back into the kitchen and retrieved a clean hand towel. Beau used it to dry his face, neck, and the top of his chest.

You tried not to stare at the flash of tan skin near the collar of his plain gray shirt, or the wet spots clinging to his back. The sleeves were tight around his arms and across his chest, leading you to believe that despite being in his mid-forties, he kept himself in shape. 

Meanwhile, Jenny drank her water, and pretended not to notice you staring at her boss. Part of her was amused, but a good part of her felt an unfamiliar sting as well.

“Okay,” Beau clapped a hand on his jean-clad thigh after he drained his own water bottle. “What’s next?”

Your face warmed, because you knew what your aunt was about to say before she said it.

“Oh, I think it’s just your bed, right honey?” she asked you.

“All right, let’s do it. Frame, headboard, box spring, and mattress, I assume,” Beau said, rubbing his sweaty hands together. He stretched his arms in preparation.

Again, you had to admire the way his shirt pulled across his tall, broad frame. But you followed after him when he started heading out the door.

“Wait, you shouldn’t do it by yourself!” you called out, and quickly followed after him.

Denise shot Jenny and Cassie a highly amused look.

“That's what she saaaid,” Denise sing-songed. The other two women grimaced.

“Wow. That’s your niece!” Cassie exclaimed.

“And technically my boss, thanks,” Jenny added.

“What, they’re cute, aren’t they?” Denise said, gesturing at the way you and Beau left.

“This from the woman who’s been lusting after that man since the minute he got into town,” Cassie retorted.

“Well, I’m woman enough to bow out when I’ve been thwarted. By my own blood no less,” Denise replied, but her mischievous smile said it all as she breezed back into the kitchen to start unpacking the silverware for you.

She knew for a fact that you’d made dinner for later—and not just because she’d told you how much Beau liked lasagna.

Beau accepted your help, along with Cassie and Jenny’s in bringing up all the parts of your bed. He just insisted on utilizing his own power tools to put it together.

That was how you found yourself holding the headboard up straight while Beau made sure the frame was aligned. It wasn’t as easy as it looked; the wood panels had to slide into the notch in the headboard just so, before he could start drilling the bolts back in.

“Damn it,” he muttered, when one panel of the frame nearly slipped out of his hand.

“Can you actually use that power drill?” Cassie asked. “Because you’re pretty hopeless with cars.”

Beau rolled his eyes, despite his smile. “Save the belittling for later. Tryin’ to concentrate.”

After a few more minutes of sweating, mild cursing, and internal praying, you, Beau, and Cassie managed to get the bedframe put together with the headboard. Then the box spring, and finally the mattress. It marked the official end of moving in.

While Beau, Cassie, and Jenny took a much-deserved rest sitting on the couch with a round of beers, you went to the kitchen where your aunt had already preheated the oven for you. Now you just needed to pull out the two massive pans of lasagna you’d prepared the night before—as a thank you for everyone who came to help you.

Denise sidled up to you and touched your arm to get your attention.

“Good job inviting our dear Beau to lift furniture for us,” she whispered, waggling her brows. You shot her a look and shushed her.

“Do you always flirt with him like this?” you asked incredulously.

“Well, I might have to do it less blatantly if he’s gonna keep playing Mr. White Knight for you,” she teased. 

“He is not. He’s just…nice,” you whispered back. “So are Cassie and Jenny.” 

Denise gave you an amused look. “Mhmm.”

You rolled your eyes and focused on getting dinner ready.

Within the hour, the five of you were sat at your new modest dining table between the kitchen and the living room, eating lasagna and drinking iced tea. Jenny and Beau had beers alongside them, and conversation drifted from how you intended to set up the apartment, to Cassie’s still open missing backpacker case.

The parents were even more worried now, saying it was out of character for him not to check in with a phone call, despite the email he’d apparently sent them a few days ago. Beau had agreed to give Cassie whatever help she needed on the periphery, especially if further evidence revealed itself on the backpacker’s whereabouts.

Beau was already on his second helping of lasagna when he raised his gaze to you, right across from him at the table.

“Clearly you get your cooking skills from your aunt, because this is fantastic,” he said.

Denise twittered. You blushed a little as you smiled.

“Thank you. I’m glad you like it.”

There was a short lull, filled by the tapping of silverware on plates, before Denise spoke up.

“By the way,” she said, looking to you and Beau. “Did you two have a productive time at grief counseling? What did you talk about?”

It was a well-meaning, but perhaps intrusive question. Both you and Beau tensed up. Cassie gave Denise a warning look. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. You guys don’t have to answer that,” Denise amended. 

“Um, it’s okay,” you replied. “It wasn’t too bad…I think I might go again.”

Beau had a warmer smile for you. “That’s good.”

You were able to return his smile. You turned to Cassie next.

“You went there for a while, right?” you asked. Cassie nodded. 

“It was helpful,” she said. “I’m glad you’re getting something out of it.”

You took that with a nod, and returned your gaze to Beau.

“Have you been going there long?” you asked him.

He tilted his head. “Actually, yesterday was my first time too.”

Your eyes widened. “Oh, really?”

Cassie was intrigued at the way this little scene was playing out. Thought she caught the look on Jenny’s face while she watched it too. Like Jenny was studying them, not sure what to make of it all.

Beau wore a self-deprecating smile.

“Yeah. Just…hadn’t gotten around to it,” he answered you.

There was a heaviness in his voice and in his eyes that you didn’t miss, but you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable in a room full of people, even if they were his friends. 

“Well, I’ll go again if you do,” you offered, a bit bolder than you felt. Beau met your eyes across the table, and his lips lifted at the corners. 

“All right,” he said. “You got yourself a deal, miss ma’am.”

You fought against a blush rising up your neck. You glanced down and took a sip of your iced tea. 

“Look at you. Pulling out your ‘sheriff’ voice,” Cassie teased. 

“Like a rhinestone cowboy…” you sang into your glass. Your smile peeked out around the corners of it.  

Most of the table laughed. Jenny smiled, but opted for drinking her beer.

Meanwhile, Beau gave you a mock look of betrayal. His true amusement shone through his eyes. 

“I see how this is. Gang up on the Texan time,” he remarked. 

That gave Cassie an opening to ask you something, and hopefully get to know you better. Already she had an instinct about you: she liked you. And clearly Beau seemed to as well. Cassie tended to be more cautious about people, even if you were Denise’s family.

“So how are you liking the Midwest so far?” Cassie asked you. 

“So far? It’s the fresh air I needed,” you replied. 

“Oh, you should check out that art studio you wanted to see,” Denise chimed in. 

“You’re an artist too?” Beau asked, raising a brow. You chuckled.

“No, just an amateur with a handful of brushes,” you replied.

You remembered the peace you’d gotten while painting in sight of the mountains. But when you got to Denise’s house, you’d hidden away those canvases, not wanting to be reminded of that week at Sunny Day Excursions. And of Mary. 

“Oh, but have you gone horseback riding yet?” Denise asked. “I know you were gonna try on your camping trip—”

You loved your aunt. You really did, but she also had a knack for putting her foot in her mouth. The others quieted as you dimmed at the actual mention of that God-forsaken place.

“I tried,” you said. “I never actually managed to make it on the horse.” 

“Aw, well if you ever want to go, there’s a stable in town. They give lessons too,” Denise said.

You nodded and forced a smile. You went back to picking at the remnants of lasagna and salad on your plate.

When everyone began to filter out of your new apartment, each with their own set of well-wishing and a container of leftovers to take home, Beau ended up being last to leave. You had followed him to the door, where you handed him his tupperware of leftovers, and he thanked you in appreciation.

“Now I just need a microwave,” he said. “My toaster oven’s been on the fritz.”

Your brows rose in amusement. “You have a toaster oven, but not a microwave?”

“Well, let’s just say my trailer doesn’t exactly have a whole lot of space for appliances,” Beau replied, chuckling.

You smiled at that. You hesitated, but you eventually touched his hand that held the tupperware.

“Thank you again for coming here, for helping me…and for yesterday,” you said.

Beau almost didn’t realize it, but his face was getting warm. As warm as your pretty smile.

“Well, you’re very welcome,” he said. “And just puttin’ it out there, I may or may not have been riding a horse before I could walk. First memory I have is my dad putting me on Old Bess when I was four. She nearly kicked me off…not that that would happen to you. I’m just saying—” 

“I see.” Your giggle ended with a smirk. Beau tended to ramble. You weren’t sure if it was a nervous tick, or just a facet of his upbeat personality…but you found it endearing.

He leveled you with a grin. “Listen, what I mean to say is, if you’re serious about wanting to learn how to ride, I could teach you. It’s not that hard.”

You bit your lip, mentally beginning to weigh out the pros and cons. To be honest, you still had reservations, both on riding a horse, and on Beau being the one to teach you. Was he just being nice, your “friendly neighborhood sheriff,” or was your aunt onto something?

…You weren’t sure, but your instincts told you that at the very least, you could trust him with this. And trust had become hard for you to give any man.

“Okay, cowboy. Let’s ride,” you said. And you even surprised yourself with the flirtatious note in your voice. 

Beau’s grin kicked up a notch. You then exchanged numbers so you could hash out the details of when and where to meet sometime soon. Hopefully soon. 

Then you wished him a good night. 

“G’night, darlin’,” he said. He lingered in the hallway for a parting grin. “And welcome home.”

Your answering smile warmed him, long after he left your door.

AN: *rubs hands together* We're really getting into it now. 😂 Finally we have the big reveal of why she left Chicago, and the start of her and Beau's bond. You'll see more of that, and of Emily, in the next chapter...

Next Time:

You gasped and gripped even tighter with your thighs. With almost everything you had.

You were still far too unsteady for comfort on this damn horse. The poor animal whinnied, tossing his head back with a huff. Unfortunately, that just made you tense up even more as you held onto his neck. 

Beau tried not to laugh. You looked like a cat clinging to the edge of a bath.

“Okay, you needa relax a little,” he said. “He ain’t gonna buck you, long as you don’t give him a reason to.”

You shot him a narrowed look.

▶️ Keep Reading: PART 4

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[cyberkitty1]

pt 2/2 of the crybaby reader x earth42 Miles Morales

MAJOR MAJOR spoilers!! read with caution.

i said tomorrow night but I worked my butt off to get it done today!!

Aaron makes his way to Miles and room not even bothering to knock, I mean why would he? He just watched his nephew make his own girlfriend who would do anything for him cry. He was beyond furious.

“So now we are just going around making people cry?” Miles smirks at him “man I am literally the prowler? all i make people do is cry and beg for their life” he says almost laughing.

Aaron sighs pinching the bridge of his nose.” you are not supposed to let your job interfere with your normal life, you know that. Now you’re chasing your girl, the girl your supposed to love away? are you serious?”

Miles looks at him annoyed “ why wouls you care all she ever does is cry, shes happy she cries, shes mad she cries, shes sad she cries, man even when shes bored she cries. its annoying” he says holding his face in his hands.

Aaron walks to the bed and sits next to him. He’s never been put in this situation so he doesn’t know what to say. “ you’re dad was a lot better doing this than i ever was.” Miles visibly stiffens, this was the first time he’s brought up his dad since his funeral.

“ Miles I know you have been through a lot, more then i ever will but that doesn’t give you a reason to act that way towards her, she only wants whats best for you and she loves you with everything shes got. I would kill for a person like that to be in my life. I know you reacted like this because you feel you don’t have anyone to talk to but i’m always here man you know this.”

He wrapped an arm around his shoulder.” So don’t be taken your anger out on your girl she just loves you ok?” Miles sighs realizing, he was way to harsh in you you shouldn’t have been ignoring you and now he feels like a fool.

“ Yea, ill talk to her tomorrow” Aaron smiles, “ good I don’t need the only person who can get you to open up gone, now do i?” he says laughing a bit.

* Next Morning *

You didnt get a wink of sleep that night you where thinking about all the things you could have done to upset him that much. You werent mad just confused, confused as to why he would react that way. Of course you will still love him but this still hurt.

You were lost in thought when you realize someone texted you, it was Miles? You wasted no time to open it.

miles. can you come over later today?

you. yea

miles. dress comfortable

you were nervous, was he breaking up with you? You had no idea what to expect with how you guys left everything yesterday there was many directions this could go.

Hours later ( im lazy )

You got ready and made your way over to his place. Knocking on the door he answered “hola cariño ven conmigo” he helped you in with a warm smile taking your hand. Shutting the door behind you he led you into his bedroom sitting you down on his bed. He stood looking at you kind of nervous? he started:

“Voy a decir esto en español para que todo salga bien. Te amo mucho y siento mucho haberte tratado de una manera que nunca te mereces. Lamento haberte hecho llorar y haberte hecho sentir que hiciste algo mal. Todo lo que haces es amarme y tratarme bien, pero yo te traté como si no me importara. Y por eso lo siento mucho y espero que lo encuentres en tu corazón para perdonarme.”

(I'm going to say this in Spanish so that everything goes well. I love you very much and I am so sorry that I treated you in a way that you never deserve. I'm sorry I made you cry and made you feel like you did something wrong. All you do is love me and treat me right, but I treated you like I didn't care. And for that I am very sorry and I hope that you find it in your heart to forgive me.)

You waited and listened to him through and through and when he was done you spoke. “ Miles I will forever love you, you know that. I know that you are going through something but why didn’t you tell me? why don’t you talk to me? why wont you let me in?” you said holding his hands.

“No quería que pensaras menos en mí, que me consideraras débil.” You look at him sympathetically “ Miles I would never, never ever think of you as weak ok? Whenever you need me I will be there with you, I love you miles so much.” and with that, you were crying.

(“I didn't want you to think less of me, to consider me weak.”)

“mi princesa por favor no llores odio cuando lloras” he said wiping your tears away “ I know and i’m sorry that i’m always crying about everything i know it annoys you” you say sniffling. He feeling you pulling at his heart strings, feeling the worse he has felt since his father’s passing.

("My princess please don't cry I hate when you cry"’)

“ahora me tienes a punto de llorar mami, te quiero mucho y me arrepiento de haberte dicho que te encontré una llorona. Nunca debí haberte dicho eso, eres mi todo, ¿lo sabías? Debería disculparme contigo, lamento haberte tratado de esa manera, ¿me perdonarías?” He said with tears in his eyes.

(“Now you have me about to cry mommy, I love you very much and I regret having told you that I found you a crybaby. I never should have told you that, you are my everything, you know that? I should apologize to you, I'm sorry I treated you that way, would you forgive me?")

You held his face looking into his eyes with so much adoration. “ Miles I will forever love you, I forgive you, I will forgive you ten times over.” You said resting your head on his. After a few minutes he wipes his tears saying “ I forgot I wanted you to watch a movie with me if you forgave me.” You smile at him giving him a kiss.

“ Thank you Miles,i appreciate it all.” he sighs “ Ma, stop saying stuff like that I need to be saying sorry to you” he says looking you in your eyes.

And with that he sits on his bed back against the headboard with you tucked into his side, eating snacks and watching your favorite movies.

( this or this )

He suddenly turns to you and says “te amo mas que la cantidad de estrellas en el cielo” he says looking into your eyes. You turn to him resting your hand ok his face, hearing your voice that sounds like honey.

("I love you more than the number of stars in the sky")

“yo tambien te amo mi principe”

( "I love you too my prince")

Part 3 of the earth 42 Miles spoiling you will be done as soon as I can 🙏🏾

A/n: overlook the fact that i spelt honey as hunny 😔 ( its changed now)

[wolfjackle-creates]

Answer My Call Chapter 2 Part 3

The second of the posts compiling all my snippets from the ask game. I'll try and get another out later today, but it might be tomorrow for the rest.

Story Summary: Jazz, Sam, and Tucker manage to help Danny escape the GIW, but they can't follow him and are under too much surveillance to communicate with each other. Sam snuck Danny a phone as he ran and Jazz sends him a text every day, hoping to hear he is all right. But he's not the one getting the texts.

Jason was away for several months on a mission with the Outlaws. When he finally returns home, he is surprised to find dozens of messages from an unknown number begging a Danny to tell her he's okay. Looks like there's not going to be a break between missions this time around.

Chapter 1: AO3, Tumblr

Chapter 2: First, Previous

Word Count: 1.3k

-----

“Five months ago, he disappeared. I’d already started college, so I wasn’t home. But Sam and Tucker reached out and the three of us began searching. It… It took three weeks to find him. And another week to get him out. In that time… What we found… It wasn’t pretty. The guys in white—” Jazz cut herself off. That day would forever be branded into her memory and featured in far too many nightmares.

Todd made an encouraging noise, but didn’t interrupt.

Jazz took a steadying breath and forced herself to continue. “It wasn’t easy breaking in. And even harder breaking out. Danny was hurt and the agents were chasing us. We had on masks, but they knew who we were. We managed to cause some chaos, though. Released all the ghosts they had prisoner to mess up their scanners. Send them running in every direction.

“It was almost enough. We all got out of the building. But they’d figured out our path and were waiting for us. Sam, Tucker, and I managed to hold them back. Sending Danny ahead alone with the go bag we’d prepared him. He was supposed to either get back to Amity and cross the portal into the Infinite Realms or run north to meet up with the other Dani.”

“But he didn’t make it,” said Todd. A statement rather than a question.

“We don’t know. He never made it to Dani. And due to the breakout, the guys in white placed the town on high alert. There’s checks for everyone entering or leaving the town. If you’re suspected of pro-ghost sentiment, you’ll be brought in for questioning. Ghost shields are everywhere. Sam’s parents withdrew her from school because they didn’t trust her to follow the new rules.” She gave a watery laugh. “They were probably right. Then Tucker was offered a scholarship for a tech school in California. I was escorted back to Boston. Only time I went back was for his funeral.”

Todd nodded. “And they’re in your phones and computers so you can’t talk to each other.”

Jazz smiled wryly. “Yep. Tucker could’ve, probably has, developed something. A messaging program or whatever. But without being able to meet up with us to download it to our devices—” she shrugged “—we’ve no way to get it.”

“Okay, so we’ll start there. Restoring contact should be fairly easy if you all want it—”

“We do!”

“But I’m also worried about your safety. What will happen to you after you ditched your guard today?”

Jazz shrugged. “They’ll bring me in for questioning. Probably make me miss a quiz or something important for school to make it extra inconvenient.”

“What will the questioning entail?”

Jazz bit her lip and shrugged. “Before? Sitting me in an uncomfortable metal chair in an interrogation room like you might see on TV and keeping me there for… oh, up to twenty-four hours? Whenever my parents would find out and barge in yelling at them about how ‘No Fenton would support a ghost!’ or whatever. Now? I don’t know.”

“Do you think they’ll hurt you?” asked Todd. He was frowning. “After your brother, it sounds like they are capable of it.”

Jazz held out her hands. “Depends on if they know I’m liminal or not. I’m not as bad as you are. And especially no where near Danny’s level. I don’t think they’ve been able to detect it yet. But if they have their instruments that close and me captive for that long? I… I don’t know.”

Todd nodded. “That’s what I was afraid of. Look, they don’t know where we are right now and don’t have the means to find us at the moment. I can get you out of here. To a safe house in Gotham or Metropolis or, hell, anywhere you want. And we can reach out to Red Robin, see how things are going with your friend Tucker. Maybe extract him as well.”

Jazz’s mouth fell open. They could… get away? For good? To a Justice League level safe house? She burst into tears.

She might be able to see her friends again soon.

Todd moved so he was sitting next to her. Hesitantly, he put a hand on her shoulder. “So I take it you want to do that?”

Jazz nodded, then shook her head. “I don’t—I don’t know.”

“What don’t you know?”

Jazz sniffed. “I just—It’ll make it easier to find Danny. If we’re together. If we have to go somewhere.” She shook her head. “God, I’m going to sound like such a bitch. I love Danny. If it’s what we have to do to get him back, yes. Absolutely. But… It’s just… My degree. If I disappear halfway through the year for who-knows-how-long? I’ve been working to get into Harvard since I was ten years old. Since long before Danny had his accident.” She scrubbed at her eyes. “God, I’m such a bitch. My brother needs me. And if I go back, I’ll probably be detained long enough it’ll impact my grades anyway. And that’s if the Guys in White don’t just lock me up indefinitely.”

“You’re not a bitch,” said Todd, voice filled with some emotion she couldn’t put a name to. “Like you said, this has been your dream for practically half your life. But I think we can help you with that.”

She looked up at him in surprise. “How?”

Todd grinned. “I doubt your school would be able to complain or hold it against you if I had Kori—Starfire—tell them that you were needed for an urgent Titans mission. That you helped save the lives of countless people. Way I see it, they’d have to forgive your abandoned classes and allow you to retake them.” He hummed and looked up. “In fact, I’m pretty sure we could find a Justice League fund to pay for at least one semester of classes for you. Probably more. To make up for the money lost on this one.”

Jazz’s mouth fell open. “You’d do that? For me?”

“And your brother and sister and friends. It’s kinda what we do.”

Jazz nodded. “Yes, please. If you can do that, I’ll go with zero hesitation. I’d have given it all up for Danny, of course. But we’d both… not regret it. But he’d feel guilty he forced me to give up my degree and I’d always be a little resentful I had to. Not towards him, never towards him, but the Guys in White and Vlad and my parents.”

“Great. I’m going to call Arsenal and Starfire. I need one of them to get my car anyway. Left it parked back near our meeting place and I don’t think we should be going back anywhere near there if we can avoid it.”

“Then what?”

“Then I’ll reach out to Red Robin, see what happened when he went to meet up with your friend Tucker out in San Francisco. See if they’re up for an extraction as well. If I gave you a phone, would you be able to reach out to Dani-with-an-I?” He grimaced. “Do you have any other way to differentiate them?”

Jazz chuckled wetly. “Nope. Dani-with-an-I refuses to change her name. Says it’s her name and she’s not going to change it just because someone else had it first. And Danny-with-a-y hates going by Daniel or Dan. When they’re together, they drive us crazy with it.”

Todd grumbled something under his breath. “Fine, whatever. Just, do you have a way to contact her?”

Jazz nodded. “We’ve been too scared to, but if you can get me something with an internet connection, I can contact her and have her meet us somewhere.”

“Easy. I’ll have Arsenal bring us something that you can have to yourself rather than relying on borrowing our phones or computers.”

“Thank you. You didn’t have to do this, but thanks.”

Todd shrugged and stood. “I wasn’t going to just ignore you after seeing those messages. Now, try and get some sleep. It’ll be a few hours before my friends can get here.”

-----

And that brings us to the end of Chapter 2!

Hope you enjoy. We've got the beginnings of a plan set up.

Check out the subscription post if you want notifications when I update!

[seeingivy]

funeral

actor!eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting fic

content: depictions of grief, talk of addiction/anxiety

an: i am alive (mostly). eat your cake, even though I think it Is bad (this chapter was the hardest to write, right next to the "the third act" chapter

songs mentioned: marjorie by taylor swift

previous part linked here

--

“What are you thinking, Eren?” Hange asks. 

The question is stupid. Eren is thinking of the only logical conclusion that he can draw from the autopsy report. The implication of it, of how Marco really died, is sitting right in front of him.

The patient is a twenty-three year old Caucasian male with no significant medical history. Emergency services responded to the scene of a motor vehicle crash around nine p.m. At the scene, responders found that the patient was trapped in the vehicle, upturned on the side of the road, with no pulse at the time of arrival. Patient was declared dead on scene. Autopsy concluded that primary cause of death was asphyxiation, secondary cause being severe loss of blood due to injuries in the extremities. 

“I’m thinking that the paparazzi killed him, Hange.” Eren spits. 

“Eren.” 

“Hange, don’t. Just-” Levi mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

Levi’s eyes are borderline gaunt. Eren knows the past few days have sat horribly on Levi’s shoulders and perhaps the past year and a half have too. 

The guilt is excruciating. Because all Eren knows how to do is ruin people.

He dragged Levi and Hange into his mess, when he asked them for help. But it had gone too far at that point, the interview, the night on the beach, the fight - he had exhausted all ends and desperately needed someone on his side. 

Levi and Hange all but berated him for it. For letting it get so far, for waiting so long when he should have known that they were always there to help. But this reaction, Levi being the one to side with his outburst is proof enough that he made the wrong choice, that he should have stuck with himself. That them bending backwards and forwards to get him out of his mess has truly taken its toll. 

Levi and Hange always mimicked him and you. Eren and Hange, he knows they both have a tendency to get so lost in the emotion, to feel it so deep that the response is too loud, too much for what’s called for. That’s when you and Levi would come in, to soothe them down and bring them back to Earth. 

In the same vein, you and Levi, you planted your weeds too deep into the ground. Rooted in exactly what he’s not quite sure - perhaps misplaced insecurities, whatever the two of you seemed to hide in those deep inner walls - but it kept you both stagnant, stuck where you were. That’s where Hange and Eren came in, pushing you both to soar a little bit higher than what you imagined for yourself. 

But now Levi’s here, all but exhausted and broken, the same way he’s sure you were. That’s why things got so fucked up. Eren didn’t let you pull him down. He didn’t pull you up. 

“They killed him, Hange.” Levi states, tone void of any emotion. 

“Levi. It’s almost midnight, we’re all feeling emotional right now. We should look at this all with a clear mind tomorrow.” 

“They killed him. There is nothing to look at.” Levi says, enunciating every inflection of his words. 

Eren knows it for a fact. And from the look on Hange’s face, he knows they do too. His train of thought is cut off by the knocking - rapid, loud consecutive knocks slamming against the wood. 

“God, Eren. Go get it now before they run off with our food.” Hange murmurs, gesturing towards the door. 

Eren shuffles past the length of the hallway and swings open the door to find not his UberEats bag, but Lana, out of breath and panting on his doorstep. 

“Ew. You just left two hours ago. Why are you back already?” 

“Eren. Oh my god.” 

Lana wraps her arms around him, squeezing hard, as she cries into his shoulder. Her demeanor settles an immediate panic under his skin. The last time she reacted like this, Eren had to watch the most gut wrenching interview of his life while she held his hand. God knows whatever she’s about to tell him now is going to break him.

Eren brings his hands up and grabs her shoulders, applying pressure to stop her from shaking in his arms. 

“Lana. What’s wrong with you? Why are you-”

“Eren. I’m so sorry, you- I’m here for you, okay? Whatever you need, just-just say it.” she pants, hiccuping in between her tears.

Eren frowns, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and pulling her out of the cold Seattle air into the kitchen where Hange and Levi are cooking by the stove. 

“Hi Lana Bear! How are you, kid?” Hange says, all but bouncing over to wrap their arms around Lana. 

This only upsets Lana more, the discomfort worsening in Eren’s chest as he can’t help but stare at her, at her brown eyes turning almost red from the downpour of her tears and the tension sitting in her shoulders. 

“What is it? Who died?” 

The question, when Eren asks it, is entirely rhetorical. A figure of speech, meant to emphasize that Lana’s reaction was extreme, too obscene for whatever it is she must be talking about. But when she doesn’t respond and swallows hard, the look on her face so crestfallen, Eren’s chest settles into a panic. 

His first thought is you. 

“Lana. Is she dead? What are you-” 

Lana scrambles for the remote on the counter, switching from the Disney Channel to the first news report she can find. The image is of an overturned car, the metal crushed and steaming in the front, accompanied with words that burn Eren’s ears. The first hit is relief - that it’s not you. The second hit is painful, like the air’s been sucked out of his lungs. 

Because it’s Marco. 

“What?” Levi says, taking his eyes off the stove to glance at the screen. 

Eren can feel his phone incessantly buzzing in his pocket and he reaches for it immediately, Lana leaning into his side as she continues to cry into his shoulder. Levi and Hange are moving closer to the television, like that’ll somehow make the sound better, the image clearer, like they’ll be able to find falsity in it. 

jean: the bodt’s said the funeral is going to be near the old house. ask levi and hange if we can all stay in the townhouse together. 

bertholdt: reiner and i are heading over tonight. 

sukuna: Let me know if you need anything. Give the paparazzi hell for this one. 

connie: i’m coming back to seattle. i-i don’t know if i can do this. 

Eren’s quick to respond to that one. 

eren: i’ve got you man. meet us in new york as soon as you can, we’re all going to stay at the townhouse. don’t leave sasha’s side until you get there okay?

connie: alright. okay, thanks. 

eren: phone is on. 

“This is bullshit. How do they know it’s him?” Levi says angrily, hands crossed over his chest. 

“Levi.” Hange says, voice nearly cracking. 

“No, I’m being fucking serious. How do they know that this guy is our Marco? There’s no proof. Call the Bodt’s right now.” Levi says, pacing the kitchen for where he left his phone. 

Eren frowns, his head racing as Levi walks the length of the kitchen and Hange settles into their immediate panic.

“Eren.” Lana says. 

“Hm?” 

“I have to tell you something. You’re going to hate it. I-” 

“Just tell me, Lana. No-no beating around the bush.” 

“The paparazzi…got to him first before the police.” she whispers. 

“What?” Eren says, through gritted teeth as his head all but short circuits. 

“They knew it was his car, he’d been driving it around that part of Nashville for a while. They were probably just following him to get pictures wherever he was going. But then he-he crashed and-” 

“And what? They took pictures of it? Of him?” Eren asks, squeezing Lana’s shoulders too hard. 

“Yeah. They-they only called the police when they were done, Eren. I-” 

The tears fill Eren’s eyes as the implication cuts deep. It all but sears the air in his lungs, the tears welling so fast that it’s already obstructing his vision. All he can feel is Lana’s hands, squeezing his biceps, as he tries to control the heaving in his chest. 

“How long?” 

“Eren.” she says, tone so pitiful it makes his blood boil. 

“How long, Lana?” he asks, voice cracking. 

“It took them forty-five minutes to get there. They would have been there in fifteen.” she whispers. 

And now, the autopsy report tells him enough. With a definitive resolve that the paparazzi killed Marco. Because he died from asphyxiation, from being twisted in the metal, not getting any air. And if the police had gotten there maybe a moment earlier, a second faster, they could have gotten him out, could have at least made sure he was breathing. 

They wanted a picture. Marco died for it. 

The anger surges through Eren, tenfold when he remembers the paparazzi lining up Jean and Mikasa’s engagement party, Falco’s school, his house the day his grandpa died. When you walked into his garage, drenched from the rain with a deep cut on your face and skidded knees, scared to death. 

“I’m done sugarcoating, Hange. Eren is right. They killed Marco.” Levi responds. 

Hange sighs, leaning against the counter as Eren walks up to them, resting his head against their shoulder. They all stand there in silence, not even seventy-two hours after the fact, and it still hasn’t hit Eren. 

In full flesh, that Marco is gone. 

The rapid knocking on the door, real this time, breaks him out of his thoughts. 

“Probably Zeke or Armin. I’ve got it.” he murmurs. 

“Thanks kid.” 

Eren watches as Levi sinks into Hange’s arms, sighing as he shuffles to the door and flicks on the porch light. He swings it open and immediately feels his throat tighten, fully constricted, at the sight of you standing in the lamplight. 

You’re looking up at him, swallowing hard, as you stare into his eyes and all Eren can do is wonder if your brain is short circuiting as much as his is. Surely, it isn’t. Eren has every reason to be embarrassed, to be ashamed. And you don’t. 

For posterity, he fights all instincts, every urge in his body, to reach forward and hold you. To let your sweet flowery smell take over his nose, to settle his face into that crook in your neck, to have your soft, soft touch running over his skin. To let the mountain of emotions he’s been carrying fall, because you’re here. 

But he can’t. 

“Hi Eren.” 

“Y/N.” 

He can’t help but inspect every micro-movement, every gesture you make. Your eyes are nearly glassing over with tears and you’re nervously fidgeting with your fingers. You’ve dropped your gaze to focus on the ground, a habit you always had when you were sad, as your voice breaks into the air. 

“Can I ask you something? Please?” you whisper. 

He reaches forward, hands on your shoulders, squeezing once and praying to god you remember what it means, as he nods. 

That he’s here and he’s got you. 

“Anything. What is it?” 

“Is he dead?” 

Maybe not anything. 

He can’t be the one to tell you. You of all people that Marco died, at the hands of the paparazzi. The same paparazzi who in your very pointed words, gutted your first love like a fish. Who were partly to blame, who drove you out of here alongside him. 

“Y/N.” 

“Is he?” you repeat, voice smaller. 

“Okay. Let’s go inside, you-”

“Is Marco dead, Eren? I’m asking you a question.” 

Your anger in your voice is enough to make him stop in his tracks, the second time your voice is laced with that animosity that it scares him into responding. He hears it, in his worst hours, echoing in his mind. 

How many times are you going to keep breaking shit without any care in the world? The camera, the fucking award you picked over me, Connie’s fucking livelihood, my heart. God, Eren. All you’ve ever cared about is yourself. From the start.

He swallows hard. 

“Yes. Marco’s dead.” 

And you don’t even know the half of it. 

He watches your glass tears, the ones sitting right on the edge of your eyelashes, fall in full force, onto your cheeks as you immediately start hiccuping, hands clasped against your chest. 

“I-I saw it on the news. I-I didn’t believe it but I- They always lie about stuff. I thought it was the same as that and-” 

“Y/N, come ins-” 

Your panic sets in so fast, so quick that Eren doesn’t even register it. Because one second you’re panting and the next Eren’s watching you retch onto the grass Connie mowed this morning. Eren pushes you into the house the second you stop, straight to the kitchen where Levi and Hange are still standing in their spots. 

“Wait, is that-” 

“Do you guys know if we have something like…anti-nausea? Is that what you do when someone throws up or-” Eren asks. 

“Is that Y/N?” Levi asks. 

“Yeah, she-she was on the porch, I-” 

Levi’s quick to walk up, hands on your shoulders as he talks, voice quiet and calm when he speaks near your ear. Hange moves to Eren’s side, her face wearing that concerned look she gives him too much these days, as they both rummage through the cabinets for anything that could help. 

“Y/N. You okay?” Levi asks. 

“I-I threw up on the-the porch. On the g-grass. So-sorry.” 

“It’s just grass. What’s-” 

Eren tries to still it - that pounding in his heart - as he walks over with the glass of water he filled up for you. Your hands must be wobbling too much because Eren doesn’t let the glass go, instead tilting your head up softly with his hands and pouring the water into your mouth. 

“Hey. Drink some more for me.” Eren states, voice soft as he instinctively reaches forward to fix the hairs sticking to the sweat beading your forehead, feeling your skin burning under his touch. 

“We should take her temperature.” Eren says. 

Levi and Hange dart out of the room, to the drawer upstairs where the thermometer is, as Eren takes breaks between helping you drink the water and rubbing circles into your back. 

Eren can feel every muscle in his body tense, his skin burning when you lean forward, forehead resting against his chest as you groan out in pain. 

“Hey. You with me?” Eren asks, murmuring straight into your hair. 

Eren feels your breathing still against him, his hands intuitively wrapping around you this time, cradling the back of your head in his hands. You hum in response to his question, which is a good enough answer for Eren now.  

“Found it.” Levi says, all but speed walking as Eren spins you around, watching as Levi meticulously pushes your sweaty hair out of your face and holds the sensor against your head. You’re all standing there in silence, craning over the little plastic as the two consecutive beeps go off. 

“98.6. You’re okay, Y/N.” Levi mutters, setting the thermometer back on the table. 

“Thank you, Levi.” you respond back, rubbing your arms on your biceps as you stare at the two of them, withdrawn and withholding from you. 

Granted, you’d do the same. You wouldn’t rush to their arms either if they ignored you for two years. 

“You can take this for nausea. If it happens again.” Hange says, placing a bottle in your hands. 

“Sure. Thank you, Hange.” you respond. 

The silence hangs in the air between the four of you as you stand there, each of you racking your heads for the right thing to say. Eren wants to tell Levi and Hange to stop being so rude, that they were the ones who were begging you to come back and now that you’re here they won’t even talk to you. Levi and Hange are debating which one of them should yell at you first, for being withdrawn from them and not asking for help the way Eren did. And you’re figuring out who you should apologize to first, between the three of them. 

None of you break. Because it’s not the right time. Because Marco is dead. 

“Everyone is sleeping together upstairs. There should be an extra air mattress up there, Eren will get it for you….knock if you need something.” Levi says, tone exasperated as he shuffles away. 

“Welcome back, kid.” 

Hange gives you a full smile as they follow him, leaving you and Eren in the kitchen. The distance Levi is putting in between you and him stings, but you swallow the burn and remind yourself that you’re the one who inflicted it on yourself. 

At the time, after the interview, the rationale made more sense. Nonsensically, you decided that you were done with the industry and that, by proxy, meant that you were done with them too. You did your interview and stuck to your word, never looked back. 

It’s humiliating now. Debilitating thinking about how much you must have hurt them. Because each of them, they continually reached out until it stopped. Mikasa made every effort to have you come to her engagement party, that she would even stop the press from coming for Vogue the way they had planned for you. 

And when you didn’t show, all she did was send you pictures, of her and Jean cutting the cake and of the dress she had bought for you to wear. Hange and Levi were so vigilant about it, on making sure that you were okay, that you had security details, that people really were leaving you alone. You didn’t heed any of their efforts, because for all intents and purposes, you were leaving the girl you were behind. 

Her dreams, the love she held, the friends she had. 

It seems stupid now. It seems incredibly and gut-wrenchingly stupid that your last words to Marco were over two years ago because you were punishing him for something that wasn’t his fault. That you can’t go to any of them for comfort because the thing that they need comfort from is you. 

All you know how to do is ruin people. 

“Are you hungry? Or do you want to go to bed?” Eren asks. 

“I can go to bed. Levi said air mattress?” 

“Yeah, we’re all sleeping together in the loft upstairs.” 

“We?” you ask. 

“Mikasa and Jean are here. Ymir and Hisu, Bertholdt and Reiner, Connie and Sash. Everyone else should be getting in tomorrow.” 

Eren pads towards the stairs and you awkwardly follow, crawling up the stairs behind him. You can hear the loud chatter of voices, talking over each other, as you try to catch the ends of their conversation. 

“But where do they go when you pee?” Sasha asks. 

“Fuck do you mean, where do they go?” Reiner says, voice incredulous. 

“Like in the bowl? Because if you’re sitting on the toilet, they have to go somewhere?” Sasha repeats. 

“Sasha. It’s almost one in the morning. Please stop talking about balls.” Ymir groans, earning a good amount of laughs from the group. 

“Eren, tell them all to shut the fuck up.” Jean groans, forearm over his eyes as he and Mikasa roll around on their mattress. 

Eren looks at you, eyes weary, before he turns to respond to them. 

“Y/N’s here.”

They all peek their heads up, curious eyes falling on you, as you give them a halfhearted smile, trying your best to wipe your sweaty palms on the back of your dress. 

“Hi guys.” 

The silence is deafening. You can’t pick what’s worse - Reiner and Bertholdt squinting their eyes at you or Mikasa and Jean refusing to look at you. 

Mikasa and Jean. 

Historia stands up, strutting over from her air mattress, to wrap her arms around you, the pressure of the hug so hard you can barely breathe. You breathe in her smell, spicy and sharp the way it’s always been, as she pulls away. Her warm hand is resting on your cheek, the smile on her face so genuine that it untangles the smallest parts of discomfort on your chest. 

“Hi princess. Missed you.” 

“Thanks, Hisu. I missed you too.” 

That’s always been the thing about Historia. That she’ll pick up, even when you haven’t called her in two years, and run to your aid. 

“How’d you know we were here?” Jean asks, hands resting on his knees. 

“I asked Historia.” you respond. 

“Told you I was her favorite. She reached out to me before you.” Historia mutters, flopping back onto the air mattress she’s sharing with Ymir. 

“You’re so arrogant, Historia. And full of shit.” Jean responds, rolling his eyes.

“You’re so right, Jean-Boy. This is just like what we fought about earlier.” Connie responds. 

The group of them break out into an argument, Historia looking like she’s full on about to wrestle Connie as he only instigates her on. Mikasa’s already resting with her eyes closed as Jean turns pink in the face from his irritations. 

And you can’t help but laugh, warm tingling in your chest at all of them, wholeheartedly the same. You look over at Eren and smile, which he returns. But despite it all, that stillness, that outsider feeling sits in your skin. Because despite them being the same, the striking differences in the room tell you things are wholeheartedly different too. 

“Okay. Where’s the extra air mattress?” Eren asks. 

Connie turns, eyes wide, as he gives the two of you a sheepish smile. 

“Really funny story. Sooooo….” 

“God. What did you do?” Eren groans. 

“Long story short, I was thinking about waterbeds. If you pop a water bed, it should be like a waterfall right? So if it’s an air mattress, it should be like an inflatable air balloon thing. Like the weird noodle guys at the car store? Right? So, I tried to pop it. And succeeded.” Connie responds, rambling. 

“Was it cool?” you ask. 

“Ugh. Not at all, princess.” Connie responds. 

You smile, perhaps bigger than you should at Connie using your old nickname, as Eren starts yelling at him. 

“You should be the one to sleep on the floor since you’re the one who ruined the mattress.” Eren states. 

“She should sleep on the floor. She got here last!” Connie responds. 

“She just threw up. And she wasn’t going to sleep on the floor regardless.” 

“Is she contagious?” Connie responds. 

“Connie!” 

Eren rolls his eyes as Mikasa stands up, shuffling to your side and lightly tugging your arm. You look at her, taking her shorter hair in, as you give her a smile. 

“Hey. Want to go change? Your old clothes should still be here, don’t know how well they’ll fit.” 

Eren breaks out of his conversation, leaning forward to where the two of you are talking, to interject. 

“What’s mine is yours. Take mine if you need to.” he says, before returning in full flesh to the argument he’s having with Connie. You can tell they’re both joking from the way they’re trying not to laugh as you start to walk away. 

The two of you quietly pad down the length to the two doors, directly across from each other, as you take in the scribbled signs switched. Your old room now reads Jean and Mikasa with Connie’s handwriting scribbled underneath inscribing please fuck quietly on the door. And consequently, Eren’s room now reads Eren and Y/N with Sasha’s handwriting scribbled underneath reading yall are fucked UP for this. 

You turn to Mikasa and give her a weird look. 

“Right. We’ve been here for a week, actually. Table reading season four stuff. Jean and I want to share a room so we moved all of his stuff to your room and your stuff to Eren’s room. We’ll put it back.” Mikasa states, pushing open the door to Eren’s room as she starts rummaging through your old drawers in the closet. 

“No, no. It’s okay. I wouldn’t want to impose on you guys when you’re almost about to be newlyweds?” you ask. 

“Yeah. Yeah, next year. And we just moved it because we thought you weren’t going to come back. And Eren didn’t want to toss your stuff and all.” she responds. She pulls out a shirt, most definitely from when you’re fifteen, as you both snicker at the size and she keeps digging. 

You walk around Eren’s room, your room too now, as you eye all the boxes filled with your things, tangled in with Eren’s clothes lying around on every open surface. You take a seat at his desk as you start inspecting his little bulletin board, the pictures underneath the pins. 

One of him, Lana, and Sukuna - the three of them smoldering at the camera. Eren and Connie smiling, Eren and a little kid with short curly hair, and two pictures of you. The first one is of you and him sleeping on set and the other is the two of you with Falco, both of you crouching down to his height and hugging him from behind.

And hanging around both of the pins are your friendship bracelets, which you take off the hooks to inspect. 

So that’s where it went. In all of the fire of moving around so much, jumping from one place to another, you always thought you lost it. But you must have left it here all along.

You run your hands over the beads, yours and Eren’s names, as Mikasa gives you a head shake, indicating she didn’t find anything. 

“S’okay. I’ll look through Eren’s stuff I guess.” you murmur. 

Mikasa nods as she leans against Eren’s desk, hands crossed over her chest, as the silence hangs in between the two of you. She takes one of the bracelets from your hands, twisting the beads in her fingers, as you do the same with yours. 

You find solace in the fact that Mikasa is still wearing her engagement ring - a constant in the sparring mix of changes you just witnessed in the room. 

Connie sober. Ymir and Historia sharing a mattress. Eren and Connie getting along. Mikasa and Jean even tolerating being in the same room as Eren. In the same room as you. And the jarring absence of Marco. 

“How are you?” Mikasa asks. 

“Okay, Mika. How are you?” 

Mikasa sinks down, sitting flat on the floor as she hikes her knees to her chest. You follow suit, dropping from your chair to sit next to her, lacing your arm through hers as you both blankly stare at the floor ahead of you, picking what topic to broach first. 

I missed you. I’m sorry I haven’t talked to  you in two years. Our friend is dead. Eren is here. 

“The engagement party looked beautiful, Mikasa.” 

She smiles, leaning her head against yours. 

“Thank you, Y/N. It was quite nice actually.” 

“I watched it on Vogue. Cried quite a bit.” you respond. 

She laughs, rolling her eyes at you as she lightly shoves you. 

“Should’ve come then. Cried in real time.” 

You swallow hard, cheeks warm, as you squeeze her hand. You know she’s joking, but the guilt runs too deep. 

“I’m sorry for not coming. I-I really wish I was there. And I know there’s no justification for it but-” 

“We aren’t mad at you. Jean and I.” she clarifies. 

“I’d understand if you were. I’m your best friend. I’ve-I’ve been with you guys since the start and-” 

Mikasa’s hands are soft on your shoulders, tears gathering in her eyes, as she looks at you, eyes pinched in pain.

“You had every right to not come. To be done with this. What they did to you, to Eren- Y/N, god.” 

You swallow hard. 

“It didn’t warrant me not coming to you-” 

“It did. You don’t even know the half of it. You-you and Eren. You just-” 

There’s a knocking at the door and Eren pads in, eyes wide as he sees you and Mikasa on the floor, tears gathered in her eyes and your limbs tangled together. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I can come back.” 

“No, no. It’s okay, Eren. Her clothes are too small. I can go grab mine for her if you two want to talk-” her words pointed, the emphasis on the last words hard. 

“No, don’t bother Mikasa.” he responds, disappearing into his closet to find a pair of clothes for you. 

Mikasa turns back to you, giving your cheek a pinch. 

“I’ll make Jean sleep on the floor if Connie doesn’t give up his mattress. It’ll be like old times.” she responds, shuffling out of the room as you stay on your spot on the floor.

You hike your knees to your chest as you twist the beads in your fingers again, Eren’s name that you used to wear on your wrist almost every day foreign in your fingers. 

“Eren. We’re going to be late.” you groan, impatiently tapping your foot on the ground as you wait for him by the door. 

The two of you are already thirty minutes late to Erwin’s going away party, the last car waiting to take the two of you, Marco, and Annie out to the little soiree that Erwin is throwing for himself - in celebration of him being killed off. 

“Sorry, sorry. Looking for my bracelet.” he responds, darting back and forth from different corners of the room. 

“Well, hurry up. Annie’s getting pissed.” 

“I found yours! But where is mine?” 

You look down at your wrist to find the pink beads on your wrist, spelling out your name against your pulse point in your wrist. 

“Oops, sorry. I’m wearing yours.” you respond. 

Eren’s quick to walk over to where you’re standing on the door - giving you enough time to groan at how haphazardly he got ready for the party. His tie is loose against his neck, hair all messy as you reach up to fix it. 

“God, Eren. At least brush your hair.” 

“Quit moving your hands.” 

Eren takes his hand in yours, quickly sliding the bracelet off your wrist and switching it with the one in his hand. 

“Well, get ready properly. Your tie isn’t even on right.” you respond, irritated as you reach forward to tighten the fabric and smooth down his collar. 

“And if I told you I put it on wrong just so you would fix it, what would you think?” 

“That you’re asking for a death sentence from Annie for wasting time.” 

He rolls his eyes, reaching up to lift the hand he just placed the bracelet on. His thumb is straight against your pulse point, blood pulsating under the spot, as he lifts his hand to leave a kiss right there. 

“And that it’s cute that you did that.” 

He gives you a wide grin, locking your hands together as you both rush out the door. 

Eren shuffles out, sitting across from you as he puts the stack of clothes between you and hikes his knees to his chest. He holds his hand out and you place the bracelet in his hand. 

“You left it in the bathroom.” 

You nod as you try to steady your mind - still running a hundred miles per hour and overstimulated from seeing everyone again. From how familiar it all feels, how easy it all is to fall back into this despite how different things are. 

How you and Eren are miles apart, how you haven’t talked to them all in months, how Marco is dead. That Marco’s death is suspending all of you in a weird state of reality, that every angry word spoken and every bit of harshness seems miniscule now.

“Do you want me to leave?” Eren asks. 

“No.” you shrug. 

“Do you want to talk?” 

“No.”

Eren nods, counting each of the beads on the bracelet, as you both sit there in the silence, letting your eyes float around the room as you let your mind wander. 

Marco and Colt playing chess everyday when he visited you in Canada, Marco falling for every stupid joke that Connie played on him, the way you all cried when Marco died in the show, Marco at the awards show. 

“Eren?” 

“Yes, Y/N?” 

“Do you remember the first time we kissed?” 

The question takes Eren off guard. He debates it then and there - telling you the truth full and whole - on the basis that he can’t handle the way you’re looking at him. At the fact that you even asked that, at the implication that you thought he could ever forget. 

“Of course. On set, in the-” 

“No, no. I mean, for real.” 

“At the awards show.” Eren responds, without a beat. 

“Yeah.” 

Eren leans forward, wrapping his hands around your neck and pressing his lips to yours. You can still feel people moving around you, setting up things for the closing part of the ceremony, but the only thing you’re paying attention to is Eren. And his lips. And the way he’s pulling you closer, like he can’t get enough of you. 

When you pull apart, you’re both panting, smiling at each other. 

“Thank god. If I got cock-blocked from kissing you a third time, I was actually going to commit a murder.” 

“You want me so bad.” you say, sarcastically. 

“Obviously.” 

You both smile and turn to the left, to a very smiley Marco staring at you two. And then you cringe, remembering that you and Eren are literally backstage and there’s like seven people who just watched you suck face. Marco walks up, wrapping his arms around both of you and hugging hard. 

“I love you guys.” 

“Marco. Don’t-” Eren starts.

“I’m not going to tell anyone. You need time to figure whatever is going on, without Connie and and Sasha up your ass the entire time. But I’m really, really happy for you.” 

“Really, Marco?” you ask, leaning into Eren’s touch. 

“It’s always been you guys. You guys better not break up or else I’ll come hunt both of you down. And if I’m dead, I’ll come back to life just to haunt you guys.” 

“Do you think he’s haunting us?” 

Eren frowns, the memory refreshing in his head. One he thought of a few days ago, lingering on the fact that Marco’s probably turning in grave right now. Granted, Marco was very vehement about his stance on you two - your interview and what Eren did, making Marco so agonizingly and uncharacteristically angry that it bothers him now. 

For not listening to him. That if he does ever get to cross that bridge with you, at least be your friend again, that Marco won’t ever know. 

“I just don’t understand why you won’t just go out there and tell her. You know where she lives.” Marco states, irritated. 

“Because I just can’t, Marco! You watched the interview!” 

“The entire song was about how she forgave you. How she isn’t holding a grudge against you. And-and the way she was talking about it, some part of her knows that other people had something to do with this, Eren. She knows deep down.” 

“The interview was fucking horrible. This entire thing, this thing that I did, fucked her up so bad that she isn’t even doing this anymore. This was all she wanted, ever since she was a kid, she-she was so determined and she gave it up because I said all those things, because I did what I did.” 

“Eren. It’s more compl-” 

“No, it’s not. And she fucking hates me. You should have seen how upset she was at the awards show…..I-I ruined it for her. I ruined her entire dream, Marco.” 

“God, Eren. Your tunnel vision is insane. You’re not even giving her a fighting chance when she doesn’t even know the truth!” he says. 

“Maybe haunting is too mean of a word. I think he’d be happy to see us together, right now. Even if the circumstances aren’t the best.” he responds. 

You smile, giving him a nod. 

“He always did like playing cupid, didn’t he?” 

“At the engagement party, he walked around telling everyone that Jean and Mikasa were only dating because of him.” 

“That’s a lie.” you state. 

“No one believed him.” Eren responds. 

The two of you fall into silence again, resting your chins on your knees, as more thoughts swim through your head, pain so palpable it’s sitting in your chest. That if Marco were here, he’d be prancing in and giving you two devious smirks, lovingly teasing both of you. Pulling both of you aside, saying that bygones should be bygones if you still love each other. 

You look up at him, watch his eyes flutter open and close, as he fidgets with his hands. 

You still love him. 

“Can we be civil for the weekend? Like…like you’re not Eren and I’m not Y/N, we’re just-” you sutter.

Your question falls short, hanging in the air as you watch the gears in Eren’s head turn. 

“I just mean. So many things happened between us. And I know there’s hurt there, on your part and maybe mine too, but…..I don’t want us to be mad at each other at the funeral. Or after.” 

You swallow hard. 

“I’d hate for one of us to die being mad at each other. Without having talked in years.” you whisper. 

Eren gets it. The guilt that must be wracking you for not talking to Marco, when you were one of the people who was closest to him. He reaches forward, taking your hand in his, as he fidgets with your fingers. 

“He knows you loved him, Y/N.”

He watches the tears pour down your eyes, face pink and eyes swollen, as you talk. 

“Did he? Because I ignored his texts. For years. He texted me happy birthday, asked how Falco was doing, wanted to know if I watched Halloweentown on October first like I always do, if I was happy, if I wanted to talk and-” 

He squeezes your hand, pulling out his phone, as he scoots to the space next to you. He tries to still the pounding of his heart as you lace your arm through his, leaning your head against his. 

“He knows, Y/N.” 

“You don’t know that.” 

“I was with him. I talked to him quite often after….after everything that happened. I promise you, he knows you loved him.” 

You shake your head, guilt sitting in your head. 

“I have something for you.” he murmurs. 

“What is it?” 

“It’s from a few years ago. I think he was really, really drunk.” 

He hands you his phone, open to a voicemail from Marco, as you wipe the tears on your phone and press play. His voice comes through the speaker booming and giggling and hiccuping as he talks. 

“Eren. Eren! Fuck, I love you so much dude. You’re-you’re such a guy. Like I-I just see you and think hmmmm. That’s a guy. Are you with Y/N? Tell her I love her. She’s my best friend. You’re all my best friends. I’m so happy I got to grow up with all of you. Oh, Connie just threw up on the floor, oh Connie- hey, stop! Okay, love you brother, I have to go.” 

The voice cuts off abruptly, as you laugh. 

“Never could hold his drink, could he?” 

“Not everyone can be alcoholics like Jean and Mikasa.” 

You both laugh, chest aching from how familiar, how soft this feels. That you’re both sitting in this room, where you grew up, fell in love, slept next to each other every night. Eren can see the tears welling in your eyes, thinking of his best efforts to stop it, at whatever is plaguing your mind. 

“So. You said you’re not Y/N and I’m not Eren. So who are we?” he asks. 

“I meant that metaphorically, you’re-” 

You watch Eren’s eyes flit around his room, scanning till he stops around his bookshelf, and turns back to glance at you. 

“Your new name is Margaret.” 

“Ew. And I didn’t mean it like that, Eren.” 

“Who is Eren? My name is….” he responds, giving you a smile as he elongagates the syllables waiting for your response. 

You roll your eyes. 

“Bruce. Your name is Bruce.” 

“Bruce Wayne!” 

“No. Not like Bruce Wayne. Think of someone really boring. Irritating, agitating.” 

“Perfect! I’ll just think of you after five shots of tequila.” 

You both laugh as Eren stands up, holding a hand out to pull you up. He sets the stack of clothes in your hand as he makes a move to walk out of the room. Except he hangs on the door for a second, voice soft when he talks. 

“Does Bruce have permission to say something?” 

“Sure.” 

“I know he technically just met Margaret because she was born a minute ago, but he missed her. A lot.” 

You feel your cheeks burn as you give him a nod, murmuring a quiet me too before sinking into the bathroom to slip his clothes on. 

Connie, does in fact, not give up the mattress. Jean and Eren begrudgingly share as you and Mikasa cuddle into the night. 

--

You wake up first, to find Mikasa sprawled over your entire frame. Her entire body is burning hot and you send a silent prayer to the world's strongest soldier, Jean Kirschtein, for putting up with this for so long. After you all but free yourself from her grasp, you spare a quick glance to see Jean must be smothering Eren more than Mikasa was you and silently muse that the two of them truly are made for each other. 

You pad down to the kitchen, yanking the hood of Eren’s hoodie over your head, to find Connie sitting at the table, scribbling away in a journal, a steaming bowl of oatmeal next to him. 

“Good morning, Con.’” 

He looks up, one of his hands going instinctively to cover what he was writing as you take the seat next to him, crossing your legs up on the chair. He immediately relaxes, giving you a bright smile.

“Good morning, princess. You can have some if you want.” 

“No, no. I don’t want to impose.” 

“What’s mine is yours.” he says, mimicking Eren’s voice. 

You snort, reaching for his spoon, as you take a bite of the warm food, soothing the stiffness in your throat. 

“Sleep well?” he asks. 

“Mikasa basically strangled me all night.” 

“Ew. Of course she has the cuddle bug. I swear, Jean and Mikasa were always goo goo ga ga, but they’re even worse now.” 

“They’re getting married, Connie. It’s sweet.” 

He smiles, sliding the string through the pages, as he turns to you giving you a smile. 

“Yeah. It is sweet.” he responds, voice quiet. 

Connie swallows hard, eyes weary as he turns to you. 

“I want to apologize.” Connie says. 

The elephant in the room. He’s the first one to touch it. 

“Oh. That’s okay, I under-” 

“No, no. It’s not okay.” he responds, tone almost harsh. 

You and Armin share a look the second he breaks the frame, glass shattering over the length of Armin’s apartment. 

“Why the fuck would you guys bring me here?” Connie asks, sweat beading his forehead. 

From the way he’s moving, all erratic and nonsensical, it makes you think that it’s out of his system. That if Connie had a chance, this would be when he would sneak off to the bathroom to get his fix. But he’s nowhere near that, instead settled into Armin’s tiny New York apartment, screaming at the two of you. 

“Connie. You asked us too.” you respond. 

“I was fucking high! Why would you guys even entertain a word I said?” Connie states, voice even more agitated now. 

“Connie. You…you need help. We looked at some rehab places while you were asleep and-” 

“Rehab? I’m not going to rehab. Are you trying to ruin my fucking career, Armin?” 

“No, but we want to make sure you’re okay. They’ll be discrete, we’ll make sure the security detail is good so that you can be better and-” 

“I am fucking fine. Do I look like I need help?” 

You and Armin share a weary glance, before looking back at him. 

“Connie. We love you. We-we just want to help you, okay?” you say. 

“Does it ever embarrass you when you do this, Y/N?” Connie says, voice laced with venom. 

“Sorry?” 

“Does you not think it’s embarrassing to beg like this in front of people who don’t fucking care about you the way you do about them? I figured that Eren putting you in your place like that would set you straight but it seems like you didn’t learn your lesson, did you?” 

You swallow hard, eyes and skin burning as Connie waits for your response. 

“You don’t mean that. You-you’re just mad because you can’t be high right now.” you murmur. 

“Am I, Y/N? Or is it true?” 

“It’s not true. This isn’t you, Connie.” 

“God, Y/N. Wake the fuck up. We aren’t fifteen anymore. No ones sitting here holding your hand telling you that you’ll be the best anymore. I get that you need that ego boost to move forward but I sure as hell am not going to be the one to give it to you.” 

“Connie, that’s enough-” 

Connie swallows hard, eyes focused on his fingers as he talks. 

“I know-I know that I said it wasn’t true. But I really did say all of those things because I was high. Or because I wanted to be high and was in withdrawal and-” 

“I know that, Connie. I’ve never held it against you.” 

He frowns, twisting his pen to his fingers. 

“You always give grace even when you don’t know the whole story. Me, Hisu, Eren.” he murmurs. 

“You deserve it…and I partially knew. I mean, addiction is a disease. It hurt at first but that wasn’t your fault. You just needed to be treated and helped and I’m glad you did.” 

He smiles, resting his cheek against his hand. 

“Thank you, Y/N. Don’t mind me if I spend the rest of my life asking for forgiveness. I won’t ever feel like I deserve it but I’ll keep asking anyway.” he murmurs. 

“I’ll always give it to you.” you respond, squeezing his shoulder. 

You silently wonder that if you ever did come back, sans funeral, if things would be like this. If you and Eren could pretend, if Mikasa and Jean could look past it all. Because some parts of it, they feel earnest, truthful. But you can’t tell if you’re all suspended in some disbelief, clouded by your grief and trying to cling onto one of the things Marco loved most. His time on the show, with you all. 

“Honey when I’m above the trees, I SEE IT FOR WHAT IT IS.” Connie sings, screams. 

“Oh my god, Connie.” you deadpan. 

He’s singing happiness. Like the happiness you sang in your interview, when you forgave Eren. 

“THERE’LL BE HAPPINESS AFTER YOU. BUT THERE WAS HAPPINESS BECAUSE OF YOUUUU. BOTH OF THESE THINGS CAN BE TRUE, THERE IS HAPPINESS.” 

You clamp your hand flat against his mouth, trying not to snicker, as he continues to sing underneath your hand. 

“Are you insane? They’re all sleeping.” you whisper. 

“Not anymore we’re not.” Ymir responds, immediately smacking Connie against the head. 

“You’re going to give Eren a nightmare, Connie.” Historia mutters, dragging her feet into the kitchen as Ymir follows. 

“I’m already living it.” Eren grumbles, leaning against the counter as he splits a PopTart with Jean. 

Slowly but surely, every one of them shuffles down to the room, the deja vu of the situation hitting deep as each person follows suit. Sasha ambles down after a few minutes, finishing off the bowl of oatmeal that you and Connie were sharing while Reiner and Bertholdt murmur quietly over the coffee cup. Eren’s in hushed conversation with Jean and Mikasa, fixing himself breakfast, as Hange and Levi wander into the room, immediately thrown off by all of you in there. 

“Jesus.” Levi says, tone exasperated. 

“Good morning, Levi.” Mikasa says, gesturing to the water boiling on the kettle for his tea. He gives her a grateful smile, taking a seat in his corner as Hange talks to the group of you. Connie’s resorted to cracking all of your knuckles since his are all worn out as they go on. 

“Good morning kiddos!” 

“Don’t….do such a cheery voice, Hange.” Levi says, sighing. 

Hange’s smile falters, before dropping all together, and giving a thoughtful nod. Eren shuffles over to your side, taking the seat next to yours as he places a steaming bowl of ramen in front of you. 

“Oh. Thank you, Eren.” 

“Who?” 

You roll your eyes as Eren smiles, reaching forward to flick your cheek. 

“Bruce.” 

“Bruce, indeed.” he responds. 

Eren knows he’s in treacherous waters. That this line you’ve drawn, that you’re not you and he’s not himself, works almost too well for Eren’s purposes. That he can pretend, in earnest, that none of the things he said happened. That you and him are just as you always were, untouched in the bubble you were always in when you lived here. . 

“The funeral is tomorrow, as we all know. The Bodt’s have requested that we get there ten minutes before the service, so be on time tomorrow. Bertholdt, Sasha, I’m looking at both of you. ” 

You all nod, humming in response, as you start digging into the bowl, switching off with Connie and Sasha who are both trying to monopolize the only real food in a five feet radius. 

“That being said…” Hange says, swallowing hard. 

They’re pacing back and forth almost, teetering on their ankles, when they talk. And when they finish explaining - autopsy report in hand and the gut punch sticking in your chest - you all sit there, blankly staring. 

And wander in silence for the rest of the day. 

It was one thing that Marco died. And an entirely different one that he was killed. 

--

“Someone go get Eren, we only have thirty minutes.” Levi says, everyone lingering in the kitchen and the living room, in a sea of black. 

Almost everyone is here now - Erwin, Armin, even Eren’s parents - all lingering around as you wait to head to the funeral. You give a curt nod to Levi and march out to the pavement, pebbles crunching under your feet as you make your way to set. 

Eren’s been in there since last night, never retreating to the room to change into his pajamas before he settled down on the couch downstairs. Despite your protests, he refuses to sleep in the same room as you. Or let you sleep anywhere else besides Jean’s old bed in his room. 

You let the pebbles crunch under your feet, ignoring the sting as you pass the tandem bike, and slip onto the set. You can see new costumes designs printed against the walls, storyboards with Levi and Hange’s handwriting on them as you make your way to the back towards the piano.

When you see him, that rage, simmering warm in your stomach over the past twenty-four hours, the deep-seated pain of Marco dying alone, crying out for help, comes to a head when you see Eren. Because he’s sitting at the bench, with his book propped up against the stand, and a bottle of pills in his hands. 

You march up to where he’s standing, crossing your hands across your chest as you all but glare at him. 

“Oh. Hey, you look-” 

“Are you serious?” 

You watch his face scrunch up in confusion, that stupid look on his face aggravating you even more. His tie is unkempt, his hair is messy - he’s always so haphazard with these things. 

“You’re doing pills in here before Marco’s funeral. Are you fucking serious?” 

He looks down, at the bottle in his hand and stands up, and swallows hard when he looks at you. 

“Wait-” 

“No. No, for once, you’re going to listen to me. You-you’re sick. Marco’s dead. You can’t even give it to him to be fully there while we say goodbye? This means that much to you?” you spit, watching him shut his eyes. 

“Y/N.” 

“How could you do this? To him? To me?” 

He reaches forward, hands on your shoulders as he squeezes, and your eyes burn like acid. And every feeling, building up over the past few days, comes tumbling out. 

“Why did he have to leave us, Eren? We didn’t get enough time with him. He was only twenty-four, he didn't even get to grow old. He was supposed to die, years from now, so happy, so-so surrounded by people he loved.”

Eren forgoes the rational thought. He reaches forward fully, snaking his arms around you as he cradles your head into his frame, trying his best to stifle your cries into his shoulder. 

“And you. He would hate that you were doing this. I hate that you’re doing this. You-you don’t have to. There are other things that can make you happy or-or fix whatever it is that’s wrong.” 

“Y/N.” 

“What, Eren?” 

He pulls back, reaching for the pill bottle, and placing it in the palm of your hand. You read the label, immediately embarrassed and ashamed of your reaction. 

Eren Jaeger *Lexapro 5 mg  Take one tablet by mouth with the morning meal.

“Oh my god, Eren. I’m so sorry, I-” 

You pull back, sitting down on the bench, as you dig your fingers into your temples, trying to stop that pulsating feeling under your skin. The rage, the feeling, coursing through you so hard that you can’t even pick what you’re mad at. 

You’re breathing panic in and out, chest heaving, as Eren takes a seat next to you, leaning his elbows on his knees. And the feeling, it lands on feeling overwhelmingly embarrassed. Because Eren’s not doing drugs, he’s taking anti-anxiety pills. 

“Eren. I’m so sorry. That was so horrible of me, I thought it was-” 

“You thought it was like Connie.” he finishes

“Yeah. And I’m sorry for assuming, I just-” 

“I’m not mad at you. You were just trying to take care of me. I appreciate it.” 

You groan, embarrassment still coursing through you, as you lean your forehead straight against the piano, the smell of the ink on Eren’s book permeating your nose.  

“Do you remember that birthday party of mine I told you about? When I was ten, at my old house in New York? It was when we were in Australia.” 

You nod. 

“I remember feeling it. A paralyzing block in my chest, like I couldn’t move. And when I was able to move, it was only because it all came rushing to me, so panicked, so fast that I-I didn’t even register what happened.” 

He was barely even ten. You lift your hands to his shoulders, squeezing hard, as he continues. 

You’re here and you’ve got him. 

“I didn’t tell anyone. I thought something was wrong with me. I thought that people feel this way, that it’s normal, but I just felt too much of it. That I just can’t handle things the way normal people do.” 

You frown, reaching up to cup the side of his face. Your fingers brush over his dimples, soft under your fingers, as you talk. 

“Eren. There is nothing wrong with you. That’s just an anxiety attack.” you whisper. 

You’re not sure what it is about what you said but when you look up, there are soft tears flowing down Eren’s cheek, the voice coming out of his mouth so garbled you can barely understand what he’s saying. 

“Hey, Eren.” you whisper, 

“No. No, no. Stop.” 

Eren stands up, retreating to the other side of the piano, where he’s leaning over, his entire frame heaving up and down as you walk to his side. 

“Why are you-” 

“I don’t want you to help me. You shouldn’t be helping me.” he says, his voice shuddering. 

“Why not?” you ask, frowning. 

“I’ve been horrible to you. I don’t deserve your help. You-you should be cussing me out, so mad that you can’t stand me, that you want me to suffer and you’re not. And it’s agonizing for me that you aren’t.” 

You walk up behind him, wrapping your arms around him from the back, as you feel him sigh. You lean your cheek flat against his shoulder, squeezing as hard as you can as Eren continues to cry, fists clenched so tight on the piano that white. 

“You’re not you and I’m not me. We agreed on that.” you murmur. 

“Y/N. We can’t-” 

“Who?” 

He snickers, amidst his tears, as he turns around, and you slot your arms under his. You can feel his heart thumping under your ear, loud and fast, as you place your hand over the spot. The two of you stay that way for some time, Eren's tears falling onto you, as you try your best to remedy whatever it is that's burning inside of him.

“Just calm down and breathe. Falco says it always helps to talk about something else, when he feels like this.” 

He tenses at the mention of Falco, which you realize was a mistake. 

“Why were you in here?” you ask. 

“The Bodt’s asked me to write a song for the service.” 

The perfect distraction.

“Can you sing it for me?” you ask. 

He looks down, green eyes - full and round - as he nods, shuffling towards the piano bench as you take the seat next to him. You can see that the lyrics are scribbled on the book resting against the stand, the paper stiff from blotches of Eren’s tears. He starts playing the piano, his voice echoing on the walls of the set. 

And if I didn't know better I'd think you were talking to me now If I didn't know better I'd think you were still around What died didn't stay dead What died didn't stay dead You're alive, you're alive in my head What died didn't stay dead What died didn't stay dead You're alive, so alive

You rest your hands against the keys next to his, slowly following his pace, as he continues to sing, the hum of his voice filling the air. You can’t help but think it. That he’s beautiful. That this is your Eren, miles away from whoever he was when you saw him last. 

I should've asked you questions I should've asked you how to be Asked you to write it down for me Should've kept every grocery store receipt 'Cause every scrap of you would be taken from me

You can feel the tears flowing down your cheeks now, straight onto the piano keys and your hands, as you cry. 

And if I didn't know better I'd think you were singing to me now If I didn't know better I'd think you were still around I know better But I still feel you all around I know better But you're still around

When you and Eren get to the service, you walk hand in hand to the piano. And play the song together, for Marco and Marco only. 

--

You knock on the door, padding into the room to find Levi, hunched over his computer and leaning his hand on his cheek. You take the seat next to him, crossing your legs against the chair, as he looks over at you, expressionless. 

“I’m leaving tomorrow.” you say. 

Four days after the funeral and all of them have cleared out. Forced to go back to wherever they were before, to push down the beating pain and move forward. The grief, perhaps it did suspend reality for the rest of you. Leave you to pretend that nothing that happened was real, that you were still teenagers running around on this set together. 

That wasn’t how it was for Levi. Because in almost a week of being there, he had yet to talk to you with a straight face. 

“What are you working on, Levi?” you ask, cracking your knuckles. 

He turns the laptop towards you, one of the old hard drives from the earlier seasons pulled up on his computer. He plays the video, one of Jean sitting in a chair behind the green backdrop. 

“Okay, Jean. Tell me your goal for the end of the show.” Levi asks. 

The video, Jean must be barely sixteen, wearing one of the old costumes from season one. You remember now, that Hange was insistent on documenting everything - that you all were going to grow up so fast that they should keep videos. Obviously, Hange is too disorganized to do it themselves, so Levi bit the bullet and did it for them. 

“I don’t know. That’s so far away, Levi.” he groans, scrunching up his forehead. 

“Just answer, Jean. Where do you see yourself at the end of the show, when you’re in your twenties?” 

“With Mikasa.” he responds. 

You both smile as Levi switches to the next videos, the two of you watching all of them in silence. 

“I want to be myself. That’s all I want to be, not embarrassed or ashamed, I-I just want to be me.” Historia says, smiling into the camera. 

“I don’t know. That’s a weird question, Levi.” Mikasa grumbles, glaring at him. 

“You’re horrible, Mikasa. Jean said he wants to be with you.” Levi responds. 

“Well, that’s a given. Of course, I’m going to be with Jean.” she responds, giving one last eye roll to the camera. 

“Doing something important. That means something to people.” Connie responds. 

You swallow hard, as you see Eren, fifteen and so smiley, as he crawlsl onto the little stool.

“My turn?” Eren asks, giving Levi a bright smile. 

“Yes, kid. Your turn. Why else would you be sitting here?” 

“Okay. This is a secret so don’t tell anyone.” he says. 

“I’m not broadcasting to a news channel, Eren. Just hurry up, I still have to get through half of you.” 

Eren nods, reaching up to fix his hair, before he talks - his voice filled with that confident resolve, that one he always sported when he was fifteen.

“I want to get the Best Actor in a Lead role award. And on the same night, I want Y/N to become a triple threat. And then I want us to tell her that I told her so. Me and her, at the top.” he says, giving the camera a bright smile, before jumping off. 

The next one is of you, what you said being entirely lost to you in your memories. 

“What do I want to do when I'm in my twenties? Hm.” you echo. 

“Today would be nice.” Levi deadpans. 

“Well, I don’t know! That’s so broad. I want to be doing stuff like this. Acting, making music, To have people enjoy the work I make, and making it with my friends, like Eren and Mikasa and Armin. I want to be here, more than anything. It feels so right to me, that I get to do this. It’s special, it’s a privilege and I’m really thankful I get to do it.” 

“Note to anyone watching. This is one of our only kids with manners.” Levi says, setting the camera down to give you a hug. 

You bite down on your cheek, looking over at Levi, as he plays the last one. Of Marco. 

“Okay, Marco. What do you want to do when you’re in your twenties?” 

“Well. I know what I’m going to be doing.” Marco says, crossing his arms against his chest. 

“Oh, yeah? What’s that?” 

“See. Spoiler alert, but Hange and Levi just killed me off this show. But we made a deal. That I get to be in each season, even if its a super minor role like a flashback or whatever. So in my twenties, I’ll be here. Surrounded by all my childhood best friends, making this show that’s always meant so much to us.” 

You swallow hard as Levi wraps his arms around you, the two of you watching Marco’s smiley face disappear from the screen. 

“So I’ll see you in four months? For season four?” 

“Damn right you will.” you respond. 

And for the first time in a week, Levi breaks a smile. 

“Good.”

--

next part linked here

an, again: SEASON FOUR ERA (this shit abt to be so awkward when they're not all sad/grieving )

taglist: @k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06 @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha  @rebeccawinters @cutiejg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly-y-blog @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygf @cocomellxn @princess-ackerman @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @squirrelspoetry @rui-0836 @moonmalice @invisible-mori @sofiasber @bbybeeb @timetobegone @tee4str @ttokki2 @leave-rae-alone @ec3lipsy @officialsimpp @gojojang @yookayyo @lordbugs @multiplefandomthings @iobeyfandoms @camilo-uwu @justanotherkpopstanlol @mel-star636 @fvckingeetar @ttalgi

[mynameismckenziemae]

In Case You Didn’t Know

Part 13

(previous part here, next part here)

Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x You

Summary: You finally get some answers the night before the wedding and once again, your mom once again makes her presence known.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, a little oral (m receiving), p in v, a single ‘good girl’, dirty talk, inappropriate actions in a vehicle, etc.

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

“Hey sweetheart, time to get up,” Jake murmurs, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“No, not yet,” you groan, burying your face further into the pillow. Your head hurts and you feel like you swallowed cotton.

Jake chuckles. “We’ve got a lot to do today. Here’s some coffee and breakfast. I put some medicine there once you get something in your stomach.”

“Thank you, baby,” you sigh, sitting up with a wince. “How are you not hungover?”

“I started drinking water 2 hours before we left. Someone had to get you home safe,” he smiles, sitting on the edge of the bed and brushing your hair back as you sip coffee. “We’re getting married tomorrow.”

You reach for his hand. “I can’t wait.”

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

Thankfully you feel better after breakfast and a shower. The day passes quickly between decorating the church, massage, and nail appointments with Natasha and Emma, and the rehearsal dinner. You and Jake get a kick of out watching the longing looks Bradley and Emma give each other throughout the rehearsal and following dinner.

“Bet they fuck before Bradley leaves for California?” You murmur, nudging Jake with your elbow as Emma laughs at something he said.

“Gross,” he says with a grimace. “It sure is good to see her laugh like that again though.

“I agree. Maybe he’ll be the one to bring her back,” you say, hopeful.

“Especially if he gets that other instructing job at Kingsville. It’d be nice to see him every day again,” Jake muses.

Bradley had interviewed for it the day after he landed, earlier in the day before he’d met Emma.

“I wonder if he’s told her that he applied,” you think out loud.

“Not sure, but I’m not saying anything about it,” he replies.

“Me either.”

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

As much as you don’t want to be apart, you and Jake decide to not see each other again until you’re walking down the aisle. Jake is spending the night with Bradley at the hotel but Emma said she’ll sleep over so you aren’t lonely.

The night is filled with laughter as you watch chick flicks and talk about old times with each other and your moms.

Emma grows quiet on the other side of Cash who made himself at home on the couch between you. You reach to turn off the lamp before settling back in. A few minutes go by and you watch the Notebook playing softly.

“Charlie? Are you awake?”

“Mhmm.”

“I think…that I like Bradley,” she says quietly, as if she’s scared to say it.

“That’s a good thing, right?” You ask, peeking your head up over Cash to look at her, surprised when you see tears in her eyes. “Oh Em, what’s wrong?”

You haven’t seen her cry in years. Even at your mom’s funeral, and they were nearly as close as you were.

“I think it’s time I told you what really happened with me and Chet,” she replies, voice shaking.

A few hours later you fall asleep with a new understanding and your hand still in hers atop of Cash

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

You wake up to your phone buzzing the next morning, your hand still in hers.

Jake: Happy wedding day, beautiful. Only a few hours until I can call you Mrs. Seresin. Can’t wait to see you. I love you so much.

Charlie: I can’t wait either, I’ve been waiting for my whole life for this. I love you.

Emma begins to stir.

“Morning,” you murmur when she opens her eyes.

“Good morning, happy wedding day!” She smiles, stretching. “Let’s get you ready!”

“Let’s,” you reply, squeezing her hand. “I won’t say anything to Jake, but you will tell him, right?”

“I will,” she nods. “Once you guys get back from the honeymoon. I probably should’ve waited to tell you too, I just-I really like Bradley and I felt like I-”

“It’s okay,” you interrupt. “I’m so glad you told me. I wish I could’ve been there for you sooner though.”

“I know you would’ve been if I had told you. I love you, Char. I’m so glad I can officially call you my sister.”

“Love you too, Emma Lou.”

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

The hours pass quickly and before you know it, you’re in your dress waiting to get married in the church that opened their arms to a young, unwed mother-to-be without blinking an eye.

“Your mama wanted me to give you this on your wedding day,” Ruth says, handing you a letter. “I’m gonna give you a few minutes. I’ll go give Jake his.”

You smile, of course, she wrote one for Jake too.

My Charlie,

Happy wedding day, sweetheart. I’m so glad you and Jake finally figured it out (yes, I wrote another letter in case you two didn’t). It hurts knowing I can’t be there in person on your special day, helping you get ready, walking you down the aisle (even though Tom will do a great job), but I’ll be there in spirit. I’ll always be here for you.

You hold it to your chest when you can’t make the rest through your tears and get a hint of her perfume.

Ruth and Emma come back shortly to see you one last time before the ceremony starts.

“She’s here, baby. She’s always here,” Ruth murmurs, wiping a stray tear and helping you fix your makeup before she gives a final hug to be seated.

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

Your heart skips when Tom knocks shortly after.

“Oh Charlie, you look beautiful,” he says softly, wiping a tear as you turn. “Ready?”

You take a deep breath and nod before placing your hand in his elbow. “Let’s go.”

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

There’s not a dry in the church as you walk down the aisle towards Jake, not that you notice; he’s the only one you see.

“You look amazing,” he whispers, tears streaming down his face as he takes your hand from his dad’s.

“You do too,” you give him a watery smile.

You answer when you’re supposed to and you repeat the vows, but you don’t remember a word that’s said; you’re too lost in Jake’s loving gaze.

Soon the pastor is pronouncing you husband and wife and the man of your dreams dips you for a kiss.

The two of you stop in your tracks at the same time at the end of the aisle, spotting it at the same time. There’s a cardinal perched on the windowsill; as if it was watching the whole time.

“I knew Lisa would be here,” he murmurs in awe.

“Me too,” you whisper, tears filling your eyes again.

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

You greet your guests quickly before heading back Jake’s parents for pictures.

“Why are we stopping?” You ask when Jake pulls into a field entrance surrounded by trees on the way. He shifts the truck into park and reaches for you.

“Because I can’t go another minute without being inside my beautiful wife,” he answers, pulling you in for a kiss. “Your ass looks incredible in this dress.”

His hands are everywhere at once; the back of your neck, squeezing your breasts through the silky material, rucking the bottom of your dress to find your bare cheeks.

“These feel pretty,” He murmurs as he traces the silky thong string by your hip.

“They are. You can see them tonight,” you agree as you unbutton his dress pants and pull his straining erection out before pulling your dress up above your hips and straddling him. “But I need you right now.”

You reach down and pull the damp material to the side before sinking down with a satisfied sigh.

“You always feel so good, somehow even better now that you’re my wife. Fuck!” he groans, fingers finding your clit under your dress to rub tight circles.

“Mhmm,” you moan in agreement, your head falling back as his lips find your neck. You ride him faster, knowing you don’t have much time.

You don’t need much time though. You clench around him with a cry when he nudges the cup of your dress aside to latch onto your nipple.

He grits his teeth with a shudder, fighting off his own release as you tighten rhythmically around his cock. He guides you off him when you come down, much to your confusion.

“What-why didn’t you?” You trail off, biting your lip as you watch him jerk off; he looks wrecked.

“Don’t want to…ruin your pretty dress,” he pants, tensing as he gets closer.

“Ruin my lipstick then,” you reply, leaning down and sucking the head of his cock into your mouth with a moan; tasting the mixture of both your arousal.

“Oh God, Charlie!” he groans, weaving his hands into your curled hair as he fills your mouth with a few jerky thrusts of his hips.

You swallow it all with enthusiasm until he begins to twitch with overstimulation.

“Greedy girl,” he murmurs with lust-filled eyes after pulling you up by your hair. “You can have your fill later…if you’re a good girl.”

“Mmm,” you hum before kissing him deeply with tongue and teeth before pulling back. “What happens if I’m not?”

He chuckles darkly and it sends a fresh wave of arousal between your legs. “We’re going to a quiet cabin in the woods for our honeymoon tomorrow. No one will be around to hear you scream,” he replies, leaning down to kiss your neck. “…cry,” he trails his lips up to your ear, “…beg for mercy. Or see the marks I’ve been dying to leave on your body.”

You shiver at his words, startling when a horn honks behind you.

“Y’all better get a move on. I held them off at the church as long as I could, but everyone’s on their way now!” Emma calls from the passenger seat of her truck.

Jake sighs and gives a thumbs up out the window before tucking his already-hard cock back into his pants.

“I suppose we should go, Mr. Seresin,” you say, sitting back against the seat with a sigh of your own.

Back on the road, his hand finds yours in the seat between you and brings it to his lips.

“Love you, Mrs. Seresin.”

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

A/N: Well, they’re married! I will be continuing Unbroken now…unless anyone wants some of their honeymoon?

As always, any interaction is appreciated but I love hearing what you think in comments/reblogs.

Tagging (let me know if you want to be added/removed please!):

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@dizzybee03

@sweetwhispersofchaos

@shanimallina87

@blindedbythelightt

@getmyprettynameoutofyourmouth

@lexixstewart

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[gayerthanevertbh]

mommy’s little girl

pairings: older!natasha romanoff x innocent!reader

warnings: huge age gap, masturbation, slightly dark!natasha, dirty talking (heavily implied), mommy kink, and praise. 18+ MINORS DNI

notes: mommy natasha who’s also a big bear and i just want to post my fantasies lol enjoy x

masterlist | navigation | kinktober masterlist

“Sweetheart, please turn off your computer. You have school tomorrow.”

I sighed, putting away my book as I turned off my computer with a small smile on my face; showing that I wasn’t ready to go to bed. I recently turned eighteen this month, and I hoped that I’d have a bit of my freedom but that was no longer the case when it comes to my parents. I live in a conservative, religious, and highly respected home. Having a boyfriend or a girlfriend would never be a faith of mine; most certainly having the life that I truly want that isn’t even that stupid. Just a bit of my freedom would be appreciated.

“Mom?”

“What’s wrong, baby?”

I hesitated, but I knew it must be said. I took a deep breath and whispered, “When will I ever leave the house? Like… explore?”

She sighed through her nose and I could immediately tell that she was not having this mere conversation. Every week, I’d ask her about this. And she would ignore or find another topic to talk about so that we would forget about it. But there was no escaping this time; surely, she cannot escape this conversation.

“When you’re ready, Y/n.”

I only nodded and felt her lip kissing the crown of my head and turned off the lights in my room; I felt my own heart grow heavy and lay comfortably on the mattress where I think about another reality. Where I’m happy. When will I ever be satisfied? When will I get to have a life of my own?

Then, I grabbed my phone under my bed and began to download this app that my friend told me, it’s where you chat with strangers. Like Omegle. But she said that this app was different, you get to call and meet them – which is a little strange, but I don’t mind. It was hard to make a profile picture since I don’t take photos of myself; so I chose a photo of me that was almost a year ago and used it instead. I gave it a few minutes and saw an account trying to add me, making my heart beat a little.

At least from an online world, someone could appreciate me.

I clicked on their profile and I almost squirmed underneath the blanket. This woman was a beautiful-looking redhead. She had her hair short, her lips matching the shirt that she was wearing. Pink; is a great color. I smiled when I read her bio, it says: I felt a Funeral, in my Brain, And Mourners to and fro Kept treading – treading – till it seemed That Sense was breaking through – which I understood immediately. It’s a poem by Emily Dickinson, making my heart swell with joy. Finally, someone like me. Someone that I could relate to.

I decided to add them back and waited for their text; I rested my phone against my chest.

I felt my phone buzzing, I immediately threw myself up.

Natasha: Hi! :)

At this point, I didn’t know how to respond. I could do two things; ghost her, or don’t ghost her and face the person who is texting you right now. I chewed on my lower lip, watching the clock tick at its new number whether I should respond to her or not. I know I should, it would be rude enough not to say a simple hello. I began typing quickly and sent my message.

You: Hiiii! I’m surprised you texted me.

Natasha: I saw you here and I immediately had to add you. You’re really pretty, so so pretty.

You: you’re making me blush. thank you, fellow kind ma’am. :)

Natasha: how old are you? You seem extremely young.

I put my phone down and thought intensely if I should give her my age. If she knew I recently turned eighteen, she might block me and never speak to me again. And if she doesn’t talk to me again, that means I can’t have a friend. But being honest is also a good trait when it comes to these things; I have to tell her or else I’ll just keep pushing her away.

I sighed, sending the message of my age.

You: I’m eighteen. I hope you don’t mind.

Natasha: no, not at all! You’re so cute.

You: you’re giving me too many compliments, I can’t take it :(

Natasha: well, if we are going to be friends, you might expect me to tell you these things. Where are you from?

You: Queens!

Natasha: Really?! I’m from Queens too! Well, I just moved here recently. Business stuff.

You: how old are you then?

She’s probably twice as old as me, which makes me a little sad. If she was my age and I was allowed to have a girlfriend; she would be the perfect fit. Even though I only met this person not even an hour ago. It took her a while to respond, but she did and it made my heart drop.

Natasha: 38. Are you okay with that?

You: you’re the same age as my parents.

Natasha: I’m sorry, cutie. If you want, we could stop talking. I understand if you don’t want to talk to me anymore :( but I’ll be very sad…

I don’t want to break her heart, I thought with a sigh through my nose. She must be so kind.

She’s probably the kindest person I’ve ever had a conversation with; I decided to keep going, which made me create a smile on my face like a stupid little girl.

You: I want us to keep talking, don’t go!

Natasha: Okay. We will keep talking then. :)

You: why are you in this app?

Natasha: Because I’m going through a really tough time and I wanted some company… hehehe.

Usually, whenever my friends would talk about guys online, they immediately want to have sex. They tell me it’s a turn-off, especially when the conversation is smooth and delicate until shit has been replaced. I haven’t experienced it myself, and I most likely wouldn’t want to experience it. So I decided to type my thoughts, getting a reply from her before a minute.

You: is sex your catch?

Natasha: you made me laugh, on a fond matter. No, sweet girl, that’s not my catch. I just want to make some friends, can’t I do that? :(

You: of course, you can! I was a little scared that you would want sex with me.

Natasha: sweetheart, I wouldn’t. We haven’t built a relationship, hahaha. Isn’t it late for you? Pretty little girls like you need their sleep. :D

You: you’re a flirt, aren’t you?

Natasha: It’s in me, I can’t help it. Plus, you’re not a minor. You won’t report me to the police, right?

You: what would be the reason for that?

Natasha: I don’t know, it seems like you would. :( Wouldn’t that be juicy?

You: I think I’ll go to bed :)

Natasha: lol. Okay, sweetheart. Get some rest, let’s keep talking tomorrow, okay? Goodnight. :)

You: Night!!

I brought my phone back under my bed and closed my eyes, as I think about the night that I made a friend. It’s a swelling feeling, a good swelling feeling. She was beautiful – too ethereal – and was the sweetest person I’ve talked to, even though she’s a big flirt. Though, that didn’t seem to mind me at all. If I would let her stay by flirting with me like that, then I wouldn’t care. I’d let her flirt all day long until I was bored.

I slept humbly like a babe.

Natasha and I began to have a strong bond a few weeks later, which caused a ruckus in the house since I’ve been on my phone too much. My mother, who’s too strict in everything, demands to have my phone and I would simply give her by not worrying (Natasha taught me how to hide our chats, which I’m grateful for) and she would give it to me back with a defeated face – knowing that I’ve won the fight. I would tell Natasha that her plan had worked and she would give me a response that sounded too flirty but also supportive at the same time.

And there was this gnawing feeling inside of me that wanted to roar out. Sometimes, when I’m in bed, I can’t help but think about her lips on mine. Would we be a great couple? Does she see me as her daughter? She’s older than me, she’s smarter than me, and I feel so young and innocent having someone to talk to someone so… mature. I know deep inside of me that she probably is a good kisser and would touch me delicately; but I also want to experience that and not with my dreams.

I was having a small conversation with her while doing my homework, laughing and giggling whenever she would imitate Mickey Mouse from my favorite TV show in the world.

“Natty, you sound exactly like him.”

“I try,” she laughs faintly, hearing herself flop on her bed. “Too bad I can’t see your face. I would be thrilled and blushing if I did.”

“Yeah,” I sighed, knowing that we wouldn’t able to have a video call. “This app is stupid anyway, I wish I could text you properly.”

“When you have your own life, then you will. For now, this is what we have to work with, m’kay?”

“M’kay.”

“God, you sound so cute. I wish I could kiss your cute face.”

My face flushed, and I immediately stopped writing down in my notebook as I repeated the words she had said in my head. A woman like her wants to kiss me. It felt surreal; different. Yet, it’s a great feeling that I cannot describe whatsoever. I gulped and responded quietly under my breath, “What does that mean, Nat?”

“Would you be angry if I asked you to call me your Mommy?”

“H-Huh?” my breath hitched; I could hear her groaning from the speaker of my phone, and I had to ball my hand into a fist so that I don’t let out a suppressing moan that my mom could hear behind my door. “Nat, what are you talking about?”

“I think about you all the time,” she whimpers with a deep voice. “You’re my sweet little girl, my pure innocent girl. That fuckin’ turns me on so much, you make me so wet.”

“T-Tasha…”

“You want me to keep talking, baby? Yeah? Fuck, I’m touching myself right now. Mmph, call me Mommy. Please, baby, call me Mommy.”

“My parents could hear me if I say that,” I whispered close to the speaker, closing my eyes as I imagined her hands underneath her panties. She must be so insatiable, which I find attractive. I took a breath and whispered close, moaning: “Mommy.”

She groans as I can hear squelching sounds from the background. “Fuck! O-Oh god, you make me so horny. You don’t know what I can do to you, little girl. I can fucking lick you like I’m hungry for you, I can fuck you so hard that you might beg for help. Oh, I’d love to hear you beg, fuck baby fuck.”

“Are you–”

“I think you’ll love my cock much more, don’t you think? Please, baby, let me see you soon. I want to lick you, I want to kiss you so much. I love you, I love your little body. God–I know you’d be so little, and your pretty pussy must be so tight.”

“Keep talking to me, Mommy,” I whispered with a whining moan as I slipped my fingers into my underwear to touch my clitoris, shutting my eyes tight; not having an idea what to do next. “M-Mommy, I’m touching myself…”

“S-Shit, you have no idea what you’re doing, huh?”

“Mhm,” I continued to rub my clit, biting my lower lip to keep quiet. “I can’t be loud, they could hear me.”

“Imagine me going to your room as your parents are downstairs, thinking about their daughter being so innocent. I’ll take your virginity, I’ll keep you quiet. Do you think about me kissing your lips? Baby, talk to me. I need to hear you.” Natasha thrusts her fingers into her rapidly, as she thinks about the naughtiest imaginations about fucking me in her head. The things I could do for her.

“I-I can’t be loud,” I rest my forehead against my desk and continued to rub my clit in circular motions, counting how many times I should do it in my head. I heard her groaning from my speaker and heard something, but I couldn’t figure it out. “Mommy, I feel so icky…”

“Mommy wants to help you out so bad,” she whines as she creates a rapid pace into her cunt. “I love you, my little girl. Keep it down for me, sweetheart… I’m going to cum soon. I wish I could cum in your mouth.”

“My mouth?–Oh god–”

“I wish I could fuck you in the ass, I wish I could taste you. Mommy’s cumming baby… yeah, I’m–Oh SHIT!” she lets out a strangled moan and arches her back, whimpering and whining out my name multiple times as she has the orgasm that she wished would last forever; it felt too good for her, especially when she thought of her strap-on inside of my little pussy, as she says.

I pulled my hand out and wiped it on a paper towel near me, I waited for her to calm down before hearing her say: “We have to meet, okay baby girl? I really want to see your face.”

“I want to see your face too, Tasha bear.”

She chuckles deeply as I hear a ruffling sound that was coming from her sheets, I was guessing that she was changing or getting herself comfortable; the sound lasted for a minute. When silence hit us both, I realized that I was about to fall in love with an older woman. And I wished that she felt the same way; otherwise, it would be embarrassing enough to have feelings for someone else who wouldn’t give them back to you.

But she has said I love you to me multiple times; she must love me then, right?

“I’m your bear, alright.”

“You’ll always be my bear.” I responded shyly, tucking a strand of my hair in my ear. I hear another chuckle again that churns my stomach; she really has that effect on me that I don’t understand.

“I want us to meet at the Avengers Cafe, can we? Please?”

“But what if my parents find out?”

“They won’t,” she reassures desperately. “I love you, I want to see you. I promise I’m not a pervert.”

It took me a while to respond, and I could tell that she was losing hope. I knew immensely that Natasha wasn't a pervert nor a threat; it was more of how will I survive when my parents know about her? Especially when I live in such a conservative home, it's really damn hard. But I knew, deep inside, that it was worth it. Meeting the possible love of my life would be the greatest challenge I'll ever do.

I decided to give in and nodded, smiling through the phone.

“Yeah,” I said quietly. “Let’s meet then.”

“Good,” she sighs happily and closes her eyes; her hand still in her panties. “Tomorrow sounds good?”

“Yeah, it does.”

“Goodnight, my dearest.”

i’m serious. should i post part two where natasha fucks reader in her innocent bedroom? ooooo

[georgiapeach30513]

A Little At A Time, Part 12

Summary: And baby Barber is a... Laurie just can't leave you alone

Pairings: Andy Barber X Reader

Rating: explicit

Warnings:  explicit language, explicit sexual content, unprotected sex, PIV sex, creampie, teasing, D/s dynamics, Laurie, fainting, Soft!Andy, 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 5.6K

Previous

Series Masterlist

“I need you,” Andy says with a determined face to his coworker. Mike jumps up immediately grabbing his jacket. Andy never demanded anything of him. You give him a tiny little wave before your hand lays on your stomach. Your eyes never leave Andy as he grabs up a few things from his desk.

“Well, come on,” he declares exasperated towards Mike.

“What is happening?” Mike asks, following Andy out into the foyer of the office. Andy is right at your side, arm wrapping around your back, and his hand presses up against your stomach. You lay a hand over his, a pretty glittering ring shines in Mike’s eye.

“Are you showing off the ring or…”

“We’re getting married. I need you to be our witness,” Mike shakes his head no as he walks back into his office, “Hey, I need you to do this for me.”

“What is the rush? You guys haven’t even been dating long, and…” you step behind Andy, a calming hand lays on his stomach before you push him aside, “I’m sorry. I just don’t think you need to rush into things. If you really need a witness I’m sure there will be others.”

“There is. My cousin is meeting us at the courthouse. Do you believe Andy and I love each other?”

“Of course, but Andy falls fast, and you seem new to relationships. I’m sorry, I can’t condone a shotgun wedding,” you continue to smile at him as you step closer, grabbing up his hand and you press it against your belly. “Oh god, now there’s a baby involved.”

“There shouldn’t be a timeline involved in marriage or love. I love Andy. And I know that he loves me more than he even loves himself. Our sweet little pea was conceived in love, and is a miracle. This is just something non formal so when we go to our doctor’s appointment tomorrow my last name is Barber. We want you in our lives, and our baby’s. I know you have reservations, but do you think that what Andy and I have is different than before?”

Mike shrugs, but he does nod his head a tiny bit. “Mike, please, Andy wants you there today. Of course we can find someone else, but we want you there. Can you not find it in your heart just to be present with us today? Please? I’ll make you some more of those cookies that you love.”

“And the funeral potatoes?” Cracking a smile, you nod your head. Whatever it took to get Mike to be there with you and Andy. It’s all he wanted, and you were going to make sure your fiance had the people he cared about with him. If he wanted potatoes and cookies, it’s what he was going to get.

“Fine. Fine, let's get you two, and baby Barber hitched. There’s really a baby in your belly?” You giggle, moving to hold tightly onto Andy’s arm. But you were ready to be legally Mrs. Barber.

“Who is that?” Mike whispers in your ear when he sees Poppy waving at you and Andy, and you give him a knock in the ribs, shushing him. “I need to know.”

“That is my cousin, Poppy. Come on. We’re running late because of you.”

“I told Andy not to go through downtown. It may be a shorter distance, but you always have to fight with traffic. Are you having a party afterwards or not?” You shake your head no as Andy’s hand goes behind your back to walk the two of you upstairs. On stairs he was either behind you, or a hand on your back. Always.

“No, but we do have plans to go back to Georgia for a formal wedding, and you’re invited. Getting married in a clearing where magnolia trees grow. Because of what I feel the due date is, this baby is still going to be inside me, but it’s okay. My Mamaw wants to have a baby shower for her grand baby anyways. Now, shh. No more questions, and no more talking. Poppy!”

Poppy gives Andy’s friend a glance over before mentioning how you were late. It isn’t like you weren’t aware of not being on time, but it didn’t matter. Today you were becoming Mrs. Andrew Barber. And today has never felt more right in your life. You have never questioned Andy or your relationship. It finally felt like you were home.

“Alright, Mr. And Mrs. Barber,” you look over to Andy with a cute little smile, as the doctor scoots in between your legs, “are you ready to see your baby?” A squeak slips out your mouth, and you squeeze tighter to your husband.

“Sorry, she’s a bit overwhelmed.”

“It’s okay. We’ve talked about your concerns. But let’s look at how baby is growing,” rubbing the wand on a little bump, you can’t look at anything but the monitor. Unblinking until the tiny image of your baby comes on the screen, and another squeak pops out of your mouth.

“There ya go. There’s your baby. When…when did you say you think you conceived?” You give him the exact date that you believe a miracle happened, and he turns to look at you oddly. “Why has it taken you so long to come to a doctor’s appointment?”

“Doctor, my wife was told she most likely would never have a child on her own. She was scared to, and…what is that?” A steady rhythm now makes Andy chirp. Getting closer to you, and he presses his lips against your forehead.

“That is your baby’s heartbeat, and she’s growing right on time. You guessed the date, and that’s what is reading up on the screen it’s just…”

You squeal. Pulling your husband down to pepper kisses against his lips over and over again. The doctor wasn’t slick. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“But you said it. You said she,” you remind him, still clinging to Andy’s hand when the realization finally hits him.

“We can do a blood test with you to be sure. Mrs. Barber, you have a lot of scar tissue, I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that. You said you worked at a daycare?” Both you and Andy give him a nod while he starts cleaning up his work space. “If you have the means, I really think you should quit working. You’re at high risk. Your baby is fine, so don’t panic. But you shouldn’t be lifting any children. I don’t want you under too much stress. Baby needs to grow in a healthy environment, and in order to do that I think it would be best for you to be at home.”

Andy’s mind was made up instantly. You were going to be at home. He wouldn’t even take you back to work. He knew the director well enough, and she would understand. You and the baby were his priority. He had more than enough to take care of the three of you.

“I don’t want you to feel trapped. Walking daily would be a great low impact exercise, it’d get you out of the house. Going to the library, doing social things. Have lunch with friends. You’re not on bed rest, but I have a feeling you are one who wants to hold your students, yes?” Giving him a nod, you know this was a done deal.

You were never going to lift another thing during pregnancy. You don’t even have to look into Andy’s eyes. You know he’s already planning what needs to be taken care of to make sure the baby stays safe. The baby girl. “Mrs. Barber, you want a healthy baby. I want you to have a healthy baby.”

“Baby girl.”

“I shouldn’t have said that. This is a bit too early to tell, but in my personal experience, that peach in your belly could be a girl.”

Your bottom lip juts out, and you turn to look at Andy. You had told him that the baby was measuring the size of a peach. His hand covers your belly. Spreading his fingers wide, and splaying them out as he gives you the sweetest kiss to the top of your head. That was your baby peach, and you knew exactly how you wanted to decorate her bedroom.

“Okay you two, Susie, up front, will get you another appointment scheduled. You’ll be coming a bit more than the normal person because you are at high risk. Next time I see you, I want you to be a practicing stay at home mom, walking the road in your suburb, and have read a few more books, okay? You think you can do that for me?”

“She will. Don’t worry. I’m going to make sure that her and the baby are safe and sound. She’ll have some new hobbies, too.”

“Hey, baby,” Andy’s raspy voice, wakes you up from a peaceful sleep. He was down by your belly, holding it, and talking to her again. “I guess I can official call you my baby Peach Blossom. You are indeed a girl. Your daddy always wanted girls. Especially if they’re going to be as beautiful as mommy.”

He gives your belly kisses all over, and you chuckle at the tickle of his beard. He loved her so much already. You didn’t have to worry about Andy not wanting to be in her life. He was in. All in. Was counting down the days until he became a father.

“We woke your mommy up. She’s snorting like a piggy. Did you know that you make her gassy.”

“Andy!” You groan, running your fingers through his hair. You didn’t care what he was telling your baby girl, it was the fact he talked to her all the time. His bond with her was already so sweet, and you couldn’t wait to see him hold this itty bitty baby in his beefy arms.

“Well, she does. So today, you and mommy are going to have your overnight oats she made. Then you’re walking to the library, so she can pick up some new books. And then, daddy is getting off work after lunch. We’re going to go out to dinner for our first date anniversary. Do you know what your mommy did on our first date? She wet the bed.”

“Would you stop it!” Andy looks up at you with the brightest eyes and biggest smile. He was so full of manure, but man if he wasn’t the most handsome thing. And the way he loved your daughter already. “Daddy you know what tomorrow is, right?”

“Toenail painting day! Ma’am,” he presses his whole mouth over your belly. An animated deep voice as he continues to talk to the baby, “You are getting in the way of your mommy’s feet. We have only just begun to sprout your belly, and you’re in the way. But I also think mommy likes her foot massages more than me painting her toes. I’m horrible at it. But I will rub her feet, and paint her toes whenever she wants me to. Because it’s what mommy deserves.”

“So when she’s born, what are we going to call her?”

“Baby Mae Barber.”

“Daddy, our baby has to have a name. She can’t have everyone calling her Baby Barber. You by all means can continue to call her that, but she needs a name,” he blows a raspberry on your belly shaking his head no. “Andy! Her needs a name!”

“I thought of something, but…I don’t know if you will like it,” he had been thinking about names, and for some reason that man thought you wouldn’t like it. You were sure whatever he had come up with would be the sweetest thing. “Magnolia.”

“Oh, stop it,” it was the sweetest thing. It was the best name, and you didn’t even think about it yourself.

“You hate it,” crying, you shake your head no. “Oh, honey, what is wrong? The tears came on so fast this time. Normally I have a bit of a warning if you’re going to cry,” you couldn’t even make words. An overwhelming feeling of pure love washes over you, and it makes you speak in high pitch nonsense.

“So you don’t hate it?” More shakes of your head as you try to say real words. You sound ridiculous, and you were sure you looked even more ridiculous. “Honey? What is it?”

“It’s — it’s perfect,” your cries turn into screeches as you pull some tissues out from the beside table. “And — and — and can we call her Maggie? Maggie Mae Barber?”

“Of course we can,” sobs. Obnoxious and ugly sobs. “You and your hormones. Maggie, you have made your mom speak another language,” you begin to wail, pulling him up the bed for the wettest kiss. You didn’t even cry this much on your official wedding day.

“Listen, I should be home by the time her crib gets delivered,” more tears. They never stopped. You are sure this was going to end in divorce if you couldn’t get it together. You are crying over her name, and now her crib. “And the reason I told you that is because you do not touch it. Don’t move it. Don’t slide it. I’ll get it. I’ll get it made. And then we can have more than wallpaper in her bedroom.”

“Andy, I love her bedroom. Can we just put our bed in there, and let me just sleep in there?” Sitting up straight, he motions you to sit in his lap, while he holds you tight. He feels so good. So warm, and perfectly comfortable. “Why not?”

“Because both her beds should be here. You know we got the round bed to be in here with us. And then she’ll graduate to her own bedroom,” the tears get louder as you think about your baby not sleeping next to you, and then in a completely different room sounded nonsensical.

“Honey, her room is down the hall. We don’t have to think about her being anywhere, but growing inside her nest right now. That is where she needs to be, and that’s where she is. Besides, don’t you want to hang her mobile over her bed? The one with the tiny little peaches?”

“Her bedroom is going to be so cute, and I just can’t stand it. I’m so tired of crying. I just want our Maggie…aww, Andy her name is Maggie!” You give yourself a moment to think about how the one thing you always wanted, and were told you could never have; now she was growing in your belly. You could feel her. Could even feel how she reacted to Andy’s voice. “Andy, I’m ready to hold her.”

“I know, Peach Bottom. But maybe she should sprout up a bit more first. Okay. Come on. Breakfast, and then shower with me. We’re trying to conserve water, remember?”

“Oh, you mean a nasty fucking in the shower is conserving water?”

“When you say it like that, it sounds awful. We don’t always fuck. Only sometimes when I can’t help but stare at how sexy you are with me growing inside of you. Fine, I won’t fuck you this morning.”

“I did not say that.”

“I’ll save my fucking for after dinner. Just like our first date, but I still expect you to shower with me.”

You peruse through the shelves of books. Most of the time you weren’t even looking for something to read, but it was nice to get out of the house and to see people. Grabbing your belly, you grunt out as Maggie kicks you hard, “Okay, little lady, don’t be so rough with mommy. I think me and daddy are going to have us a sassy girl on our hands.”

Scratching at your neck, you turn and look behind you. You felt weird, as if someone was creeping up on you, but there was no one. Continuing to walk down the aisle further, Maggie kicks you again. You had a ways to go, and you felt like she was already running out of room. She was active. You knew you would miss feeling her with you always, so you hate to complain.

“Mmm,” you make an uncomfortable grunt as you head towards the sofas. You need to sit. Braxton Hicks contractions were kicking your butt. One emergency room visit later, and just to know everything was fine and normal, you finally took it as a sign your body was preparing for her birth.

You take slow inhales and exhales as you rub along your belly, finally sitting down. Counting your breaths, and checking your watch. That same prickly feeling runs up your neck, but you are focused on the short moment of your insides tightening up. Holding your breath as you open your eyes, you flinch.

This was where the prickly feeling was coming from. Standing up, you grab your bag, and start to leave. You didn’t have to deal with this. “I — I mean no harm.”

“What do you want, Laurie? To tell me that my husband is a piece of shit and that I will eventually see?” She shakes her head no, walking closer to you with her arms outstretched and low, “You’re not touching my belly.”

“Did Andy even talk about why we got divorced?”

“You cheated. It’s what you deserved. You don’t get to hurt people, and think they’re going to stay.”

“I was the one that filed. I was unhappy,” you shake your head no, taking a step back from her. She was lying. Andy had never lied to you. “I didn’t want kids, and he pressured me to have kids.”

“Well, he’s getting what he wants now, and with me.”

“I want you to really think about your relationship. Is this what you wanted? Or did you allow someone that was handsome to manipulate you into thinking you wanted this? Why the rush to get married, and then pregnant. Or are you one of those people that get married because you’re pregnant? Please tell me you’re not that dumb.”

“I’m not dumb,” you blink a bit too long as a cloud interrupts your vision. “I wanted her. I wanted her when…when I was…” why were words so hard. Why couldn’t you think or process what was happening. “I always wanted her. And Andy, he…” you exhale slowly, holding onto your stomach as your vision goes completely blurry.

“He was…he was — mmm — Laurie?” Your vision completely blacks out, and a scream echoes through the library.

“Oh god, someone call an ambulance! Hey, hey,” she slaps at your face. Rolling you to your back. “Call an ambulance! Nonono,” Laurie presses her fingers up against your neck, feeling satisfied with feeling your pulse before grabbing her phone. “Andy, don’t hang up. Your wife…she…she fainted.”

“What do you mean?” His protective veneer rolls over his skin as he grabs his keys, and walks out of the office. “Laurie, how do you know this? Is she okay?”

“She’s at the library, and I saw her pass out in front of me. She hasn’t woken up yet, but…hey, hey, you see me. Andy, her eyes are opening.

“Daddy? What’s going on? Where am I?” Why did Laurie say his name? And how did you get to the floor?

“Laurie, keep her awake, I’m almost there,” Andy has never driven this fast in his life. He isn’t sure why Laurie was with you. How she was the one that was watching over you, but right now he couldn’t process anything, but getting to you. It hurt him that you sounded scared. That whatever happened, happened without him there.

Feeling like it took too long to get to the library, he bolts up the stairs. Beating the ambulance as he rushes to your side. “Daddy, I don’t know what happened,” you cry as he wraps his arms around you. Burying your face in his neck. “I just wanna go home.”

“Shh, baby, I’m right here. I’ve got you, but we have to get you checked out. Laurie, what happened? Why are you a part of this?”

“We,” she starts. Not daring to get any closer to the two of you. You had an odd bond with Andy; one she never had with him. “We…we were just talking,” she stutters out, unable to look Andy in the eyes. “And then she struggled to speak, and fell.”

“I wanna go home,” you whisper onto him. All you need is his arms wrapped tightly around you. It was all that you desired right now. Have Andy rub along your little princess. “Please, can we go home?”

“What were you talking about?”

“I’m happy for you two,” Andy can hear you whisper no, but you cling tighter to him. You didn’t need a scene. You need out of here, and away from Laurie.

“She’s high risk. She doesn’t need stress,” he knows that Laurie is lying, but the need to comfort you was higher. “Baby, hey, look at me. Hey, honey. Everything is okay. How’s Maggie?”

“What if I fell on her?”

“You didn’t. You’re holding her. That’s our baby, and you protected her,” you look down at your belly, giving the swell a squeeze. As if on cue, Maggie rolls around, and you and Andy both look at each other smiling.

“There’s our Maggie. She’s okay. We’re going to let them check you out, and,” your head starts to violently shake back and forth. You just want to be at home with Andy holding you.

“Daddy, please can we just go home.”

“Why the fuck does she calling you that,” Laurie snarls, looking at you still softly clinging to Andy. Your husband turns around to glare at her. “You sick fuck. You finally did it. Found a woman with daddy issues, just so you could get off. Had to find you a young one, too. Manipulated her into your perfect submissive housewife. She’s going to get tired of you, and this life you’re making her have.”

“Laurie, not now,” if it wasn’t for your fingers soothingly running over his beard, Andy would have lost all self control. His attention did not need to be off you right now. “Do not say another word. My wife does not need stress, she needs to get to her doctor. Go. I appreciate the call, but it would be in your best interest to shut up, and go.”

Her mouth starts to open again, and Andy’s body tenses, “Go!” Drawing out the word until she slowly back away, and he turns to look at you, “Hey, Peaches, I know you don’t want to, but we’re going to get you and Maggie Mae looked at. And then, Daddy is going to get you home, and rub your feet until you fall asleep okay?”

“Okay. Daddy, I’m scared,” he knows you are. That nickname for him never was said outside of your home. You need his comfort. Going completely into a submissive state, and letting him lead you. He is more worried about your in subspace in public now that he could feel Maggie.

“I know, baby. She’s still kicking. Our angel is telling us that she’s okay, but I need to know both my girls are okay. You understand, right baby?” You nod your head, hearing the paramedics come in. “They’re going to check your vitals, and if they say it’s okay, I’m going to be the one to take you to the hospital. Baby, I just need you to breathe. You can do that for me.”

You want to. You want to make Andy proud, plus, you know that your daughter needs you to be calm. Needs you to not stress. Your daughter needs you.

“Mr. And Mrs. Barber,” you didn’t think you would ever get tired of hearing that. It is like you were born to be Mrs. Barber. The doctor looks up at the monitor, and back to you and Andy with a smile, “Your daughter is fine. But I want you on bed rest.”

“Why?” Andy gives you a soft kiss to the top of your head. He knows you won’t actually go against what the doctor says, but you also are someone that needs to know what is going on. “If she’s okay.”

“Your fainting could have been bad for her. I don’t know what caused the fainting. Your blood pressure is fine, there’s no swelling. You are doing everything you can for your daughter, and doing a great job. I’m assuming you had a stressor?”

“You could say that,” you didn’t even know Laurie, and you still despised her.

“You can go out with someone. But I want you mostly on bed rest. Have you some meals prepped and ready to go. Get you some reading done. Nest. Don’t rearrange her room, but setting up her books, toys, and clothes will be fine. Mrs. Barber, I’m sorry, but this is what is best for you, and Magnolia. And you want to do what’s right for her.”

“Yeah, of course I do. So…no heavy lifting, and I can’t go out of my house alone?”

“No,” Andy is already nodding his head, wondering if he should ask someone to stay with you. “Phone on you at all times. Mr. Barber?” The doctor looks towards Andy when he clears his throat.

“We have a trip to Georgia planned. Her grandparents haven’t seen her, and…we were…that’s…”

“We were going to do a small ceremony for my family. Is that still possible? It’s just in a couple of weeks, and…I wanted…we’ll do what you suggest though. She’s what is important.”

“Yes, you can go. I’m not keeping you from your family. I just don’t want you to be alone. Now, Mr. Barber, go pamper your wife.”

“Andy!” You giggle watching him carefully paint your toenails. But his pinky finger was tickling you. “Stop stop stop!”

“Honey, you can’t see your toes, so I am doing this before we leave for Georgia,” your mouth turns up into an o, as you gasp at him. Andy can’t help his chuckles, but keeps painting. “You can’t see because Maggie Mae is getting so big now. She’s growing right on time, and you are doing the best job, and…Peach Bottom, I don’t think I have ever found you more sexy than this.”

“Oh, stop. You’re just saying that,” Andy slowly puts down the bottle of nail polish, and pulls your legs apart. Sinking to his knees. His hands hold onto your belly before sliding to your hips, and then back again, “Ands, what are you doing?”

“I don’t think you realize the rush I get knowing that I’m the reason you are swelling like this. Seeing these men stare at your belly as you hold my hand, and they know I’m the reason that you are growing our child. They know that I am the one that fucked you so hard and deep that I started growing inside of you. I wake up, and I see our daughter rolling around, and I know one day she is going to be out of your belly and on my chest.”

“Daddy,” you gulp as Andy’s hand dips under your dress. One hand was rubbing over your bump, while the other sinful hand was rubbing over your covered center.

“Shh, I need you to listen because I think you doubt what I mean. You’re sexy. You always have been, but now you are always so full of me. And our Maggie Mae,” your breathing hitches as he peppers kisses over your stomach. All over her temporary home before starting to drift lower, “One day, this baby is going to be in our arms, and people are still going to know that you take daddy’s cock so well.”

“Only Daddy’s cock,” you give him a wicked grin, pushing him away from you with your foot, “Andy, my whole body is yours. Every part of me you have had, and filled.”

“Where are you going?” He asks as you head towards your bedroom, turning to the side, you take off the dress you had been wearing. The only other thing that covered you was panties that were barely covering you anymore.

Running your hands over your skin, you let Andy see the side profile of all your new curves. Your breasts were slowly becoming another favorite thing of Andy’s. You could literally see his eyes glaze over into a dark pool of lust as you cup your belly. Holding onto his and your daughter.

Biting at your lip, you whimper, “Daddy?”

“Yes, baby?”

“Can I ride you tonight?”

“Of course, Peaches, whatever it is that you want, honey,” as soon as he gets close enough to you, you cup his bulge, moaning out his name. “You better get in the bedroom. Tomorrow we go to Georgia, and you’re not as quiet anymore,” just a graze of his body on your hardened buds, has you mewling. Starting to walk backwards into the bedroom.

“I don’t think so. Turn your hot little self around and walk correctly into the bedroom.’

“Yes, Daddy. And you get naked and on the bed. Want to see what’s mine,” a guttural moan echoes off his lips, and his gait picks up in speed. You were basically undressed, while he was fully clothed.

Slipping out of his clothes quickly, he doesn’t head to the bed, but instead turns to you. Tenderly he slides your panties off you. Making you step out of them without getting too wobbly before laying on the bed. His fist pumps his pretty cock in his hand while you crawl over to him. You don’t even have to try to be sexy, you just were. A belly perfectly round and housing his baby.

Throwing a leg over him, he squeaks as your drenched core sinks over him. His thick hands immediately go to rub over your bump as he stares up at you with the most loving face you have ever seen. He loved every inch of you, and every stretch of you. He was thankful for what you are sacrificing to give the two of you a child. And you were thankful for him.

You always wanted a family of your own, but could have never imagined you’d get the most perfect man in Andy. Didn’t think it would happen as fast as it did, and yet, it felt like you had known Andy your whole life. He was your best friend. He took care of you like no one else ever did.

He has never seen anyone more beautiful than his wife, full of him in every way possible, making the most amazing sounds. You just got him. You, too, wanted a quiet and simple life. Being a family was good enough for you. Being a mother and wife is what you wanted, and felt born to do.

“Peach Bottom, I’m not in a rush,” he coos up at you as your speed skyrockets faster. “My lord,” Andy grunts as how tight your walls were constricting him. Pregnancy was doing you wonders. “Baby!”

“Daddy, I can’t stop. It’s so good. So good. Daddy! You make me feel so good and full. Daddy!” You pant out. Things just feel much more intense, you couldn’t stop. Wouldn’t stop. It was the best feeling in the world. His moans make you want to come undone immediately, but you didn’t want to yet. You wanted to just ride him all night.

The way his fingers dig into your ass with such harshness was such a contrast with how he rubbed over the belly softly. Almost as if he was already holding your daughter, but also wanting to make sure that you knew who was boss.

“Daddy, I’m going to come.”

“Me, too, baby. Just don’t stop. Daddy is almost there. I’m right there. Right…right there! Honey! Peaches!” He moans as his seed spurts out, and you keep going. Going right until the damn breaks, and a beautiful euphoria rushes into every inch of your veins. Slowing down right until the moment you stop, and you smile down at him. His own dopey grin pulling up his lips.

“She’s going to sleep in here with us for a while,” Andy loved how you went from being so needy and dirty for him to wanting to talk about after Maggie’s birth. “I want one of those beds that attach to ours before we put her in the bassinet.”

“Okay. We’ll put her right here,” he taps on the bed, smiling as he watches your face turn into a grimace.

“Andy, that is your side of the bed. Wouldn’t it be easier for her to be on my side of the bed?”

“Nope. Her will need kisses from daddy before I hand her over to you to feed her. I can even change her diaper, while you get like a minute more of sleep, and I can have some time with my baby girl. You know she’s going to be a daddy’s girl, right?”

“I’m hoping for it,” you turn your back to Andy, and reach behind you, “Alright, Daddy, come hold me and your baby. She needs her daddy’s hands on her.”

“Whatever my princess needs, she gets,” he whispers on your skin. His hand slides around your belly, and he gives her water bed playful squeezes, “Maggie, you keep growing, but I can’t wait to hold you. Me and your mommy have waited forever for you. Peaches, she’s going to be so spoiled.”

“Mhmm.”

“Just like her mommy. Mmm,” he shakes his head, burying himself further into the crook of your neck, “And this weekend, we get our wedding ceremony,” you smile as sleep slowly starts to take you over. Your Mamaw and Papaw were going to get to dote on your miracle. Get to officially welcome Andy to the family. And you couldn’t wait. Life was everything you had ever dreamed, and still so much better, and definitely so much sweeter.

Next

Masterlist

Taglist: @tis-thedamn-season @marveloustaylortot @pono-pura-vida @sstan-hoe @missusbarnes-rogers @peaches1958 @seitmai @smile1318 @andydrysdalerogers @sarahdonald87 @patzammit @elrw24 @redbloodedgurl @cjand10 @calwitch @sebsgirl71479 @midnightramyeoncravings @mrsevans90 @xcinnamonmalfoyx @kmc1989 

[ginnyw-potter]

A funeral is not the time for a wicked rhyme

Harry watched as Hermione and Ron took off together to have a moment to themselves. He let out a big sigh, the days were long and exhausting. He felt like there was a weight off his shoulders and he felt so immensely glad the war was over, but all of that was overshadowed by grief.

Ginny paused in front of him, so close her shoulder almost brushed against his chest. “Well, they finally figured it out,” she muttered.

He followed her gaze towards his two best friends. “About time,” he agreed.

Her head turned towards him, her gaze shifting to him. Her brown eyes were warm and familiar as they locked with his. He had barely reached out to her when she already leaned against him. He put his arm comfortably around her waist. It happened wordlessly, muscle memory doing the work for them.

“This sucks,” she commented, her cheek leaning against his chest.

He nodded though she couldn’t see. “It does.”

Her head bowed a little. “It could’ve sucked a lot more.”

His hand squeezed her waist. “Yeah.”  

For a moment they remained like that, when they heard Mrs Weasley’s voice. “Ginny?”

Harry wondered if Ginny was going to pull away from him as her mother came into view, but she didn’t. Instead, her body remained tucked against his and she turned around to her mum. “Yes?”

“They’re asking if you can provide your speech for the funeral by lunch tomorrow,” Mrs Weasley said. She looked teary-eyed and tired, but she had not stopped—she carried on.

Ginny took a moment to reply. Then she nodded. “I’ll try to finish up tonight.”

“Thanks, dear.”

Mrs Weasley smiled in thanks without it reaching her eyes. Her gaze shifted up and met Harry’s. It rested there for a moment and then she turned around and walked back into the house.

“I’m sure whatever you will come up with, will be splendid. You’re good at that,” he told Ginny honestly.

“I don’t know. Not sure if rhymes are appropriate.” Her chin tilted up so she could look at him. A playful frown appeared on her face.

He held her gaze. “Fred would think so.”

“True.” She pursed her lips. “Got any rhymes?”

He thought about it for a moment. “Fred, I am disinclined to say you were one of a kind. I do know, you are the...” he trailed off. He didn’t really know where he was going with it but it had the desired effect.

She let out a shaky laugh. “That’s terrible.”

He shrugged. “Oh, I am sorry I’m not a rhyme prodigy like you are.”

Her smile reached her eyes. “Clearly.”

“We should go for a walk,” he suggested. He had things to tell her, apologies to make.

“Yeah, alright.” She looked towards the house. “Will you help me with my speech tonight?”

He nodded. “We can find a quiet spot after dinner. I promise no rhymes anymore from me.”

She pushed off him, her hand easily fitted into his and she pulled him along. “That’s probably a good thing.”

He followed her and let her choose the way, he did not have any particular destination in mind. “Can you believe those oblivious idiots kissed right in front of me?”

She looked up at him, shaking her head in amusement. “How dare they. Who would do such a thing?”

[blueicequeen19]

Right Side of Wrong Pt. 2

Warnings: non-con, somno, unprotected sex

I can’t turn my brain off. Ever since last night, all I can think about is Y/N fingering herself on my bed with her tits bouncing with each thrust. My mind runs wild, especially when I’m trying to sleep.

In my dream, she’s riding me and whispering dirty things in my ear as she claws at my chest. My head is thrown back into my pillow, my moans almost as loud as hers. It feels so real. I can almost imagine how she’d feel around my cock.

“Wake up, J.” I hear her voice in my ear, her heat tightening around my cock almost painfully. She was so wet it was dripping down my balls.

Huh?

“Wake up, JJ. I’m gonna cum and you’re gonna miss it.” I hear her voice in my ear, her teeth nibbling my ear before she’s gone again.

I feel wetness against my lips next with a burning pain against my chest and my eyes suddenly snap open.

It’s not a dream.

Y/N is on top of me, riding my cock like there’s no tomorrow as she digs her nails into my chest. I open my mouth but nothing comes out but a breathy moan. She was exquisite and I was ten times more turned on by the fact that she took what she wanted. That she was using me to pleasure herself.

“JJ, your cock is so big. It feels so fucking good inside me.” She breathes, dropping down on my chest and kissing me as her ass bounces up and down. She’s kissing me. Like it’s second nature and we’ve being doing this all along.

“We have to stop.” I don’t know who’s voice that is. It doesn’t sound like me. Even though my hands reach up to palm her bouncing tits as she straightens back up. I tweak her nipples with my thumb and forefinger, watching in awe as she throws her head back while grinding back and forth. I look between us where we’re connected, still trying to convince myself that I’m actually balls deep inside her right now.

“Let me finish and I’ll stop.” She whimpers, “I’m so close, J. Can you feel it?” Fuck yea, I can feel it. She’s squeezing me like a steal band. I don’t know how I haven’t came yet. I can see her cream pooling around the base of my dick, sticking to her as she moves.

“God, you’re a bad fucking girl.” I snap, pinching her nipples hard before sliding my hands down to her curvy ass. I dig my fingers in to the soft flesh, helping move her.

“More. Oh god, I need more.” Y/N pants, her nails biting into my chest again. I quickly roll us, pinning her beneath me and clamping my hand over her mouth as her eyes widen in surprise. I snap my hips forward just once, enough to make her gasp and watch her eyes roll back. I was deeper like this.

“You’ve started a very dangerous game.” I snarl, rolling my hips from side to side then back and forth. Her nails dig into my back, her eyes pleading for more.

“You have to be quiet.” I hiss, pounding her pussy harder. I grit my teeth as the bed starts to creak but I can’t bring myself to stop. I should kick her out before John B or someone catches us. But the deed was already done. I was already inside her even if it wasn’t how I planned. Might as well finish.

I dont slow down, snapping my hips forward at an ungodly pace as she whines and withers beneath me. Her eyes start to roll back into her skull, her nails dragging down my back as she reaches her climax. I roughly grab her bouncing breast, pinching her nipple as she cums hard, soaking me and my sheets. I snarl, my balls tightening painfully as my release barrels forward. I yank free at the last possible second, jerking my cock roughly until I spew all over her stomach and tits.

We stay like that for a minute, panting and shaking with the after affects of our orgasms. My anxiety starts to creep in again until she drags a finger through my cum and sucks it into her mouth, humming in satisfaction. I almost whimper as my head hangs. This girl was filthy and I wanted her more than anything. I was never going to be able to stop after this.

“Are you going to come to my funeral?” I ask with a blank expression. Her brows furrow for a minute as she gives a nervous chuckle.

“What do you mean?”

“When your brother kills me for defiling his sister.” Her face lights up with a grin as she moves to a sitting position, my cum running down her body as she reaches up for a kiss. I savor it, devouring her mouth and slipping my tongue inside. Her lips close around my tongue and she sucks, making my cock jerk to life again. I pull back, panting and ready to fucking ruin her.

“Son of a bitch, where did you come from? Who taught you this shit?” I grumble breathlessly, my words holding no weight as I climb off the bed and she follows.

“I’ve had practice.”

“I don’t want to know that.” I growl, quickly making my way to the bathroom but she’s right on my heels, not letting me run away.

“It was mostly porn and girls.”

“Jesus!” Just when I didn’t think my cock couldn’t get any harder, I visualize her going down on another girl while I fuck her from behind.

“I needed experience, J. I wanted to be good for you.” Her hands wrap around me from behind as I fight to catch my breath. I watch as she rubs her hands across my chest and slowly makes her way south. My cock jerks again, knowing what’s coming. She grabs my cock with two hands, tightening her grip as she slowly pumps me. I release a shuddering breath, letting my head fall back to look at the ceiling.

John B really was going to kill me. Not because I fucked his sister. Because I wouldn’t be able to stop fucking his sister.

[faithisasuperstar]

motivation → coral

coral!tbosas x reader

notes → in which coral always finds a way to leave you wanting more. i’m not even joking right now, coral was the reason i started questioning if i liked girls and muna were the ones who confirmed it for me. all this in the past few months LMAO. ALSO i’m so sorry for these bad quality pictures, i can’t find any good ones. female reader

warnings → not edited & uploaded via iphone

     you had watched from afar as your brother, festus creed, tried interacting with his tribute. the scene was laughable, both parties having no desire to be there. but alas, festus was a sycophant who wanted to score points with dr. gaul, whereas coral was reaped and taken to the capitol against her will. you could almost feel him roll his eyes in surrender despite facing the other way and decided that this was your time to try and help him. besides, you would need the practice. if the mentor gig was successful, you would likely get chosen to be one next year, nepotism and all.

     “look, i don’t want to be here any more than you do, so why don’t you just take the food-“ his voice gradually got more forceful, growing louder before you decided to intervene.

     “may i?” you popped up next to festus, causing him to almost jump out of his skin. coral laughed and you turned to face her. “hi there, coral. y/n creed, his little sister. the superior sibling, might i add.” you joked, sticking your hand out to her, not quite through the bars of the enclosure, but close enough for her to accept. she eyed you up and down, her arms crossed, but nevertheless she took your hand, giving it a firm shake. her hand was dirt ridden and covered in callouses, and the feeling of her hand engulfing yours send a jolt through your body. “i really think you should eat. going into the arena without food isn’t the best idea. and look, i know festus is incredibly annoying-“

      “hey!” festus objected, crossing his arms. you side eyed him, then continued.

     “but you should listen to him. he knows what he’s doing, for the most part, at least. we’re here to help you win, coral. and, if i may, the odds might just be in your favor here. if we didn’t think you could win, we wouldn’t be here trying to coerce you into taking our food.” while it was somewhat a stretch, she seemed convinced.

     “well what’d you bring me, sweet thing?” you couldn’t contain the expression of delightful shock that spread throughout your face as you heard her speak for the first time, as well as use a rather flirtatious nickname. you stuttered for a moment but quickly shook out of it as you heard her amused chuckle.

     “right, um- let’s see here…” you began. festus swung the bag over his shoulder, unzipping it and allowing coral to look over the items once more. he was extremely agitated that coral would listen to you but refused to give him the time of day. festus, being the bum that he was, packed rather lightly. the food he made was distasteful, including a not-so-grilled cheese, an old banana, and the leftover omelette the academy had served for breakfast. “jeez… alright, festus. a little hard to work with.” he rolled his eyes once again. “well, um. sorry about that, coral. don’t worry, i’ll make sure you get something digestible tomorrow.” at this point, your dear brother was glaring daggers at you.

     by the time you left the zoo, your brother in tow, you had left a lasting impression on coral. she was amused by your wit and entranced by your good looks, as well as your charm.

     the next time you interacted with coral was the day after arachne’s funeral. festus had told you all about how the interview went with coral, how he barely filled out half of the page because she refused to talk to him. the extent of his knowledge about coral was her name, her age, and her job. you decided to check up on your girl again, giving her a visit at the zoo.

     “your brother’s an idiot, y’know.” she remarked, letting you know how the interview went.

     “i can’t believe you just realized that!” you laughed in agreement with her.

     “so what inspired you to pay me a visit, princess?” coral queried, leaning against the bars that separated the two of you.

     “grilled grouper sandwiches. thought the fish might remind you of home. handmade!” you replied, as if you were advertising the food to her. she nodded, smiling.

     “well thank you for thinking of me, sweetheart.” you smiled back, handing her the food. she accepted, of course, but not without making sure she grazed your hand first. immediately, your breath hitched. gosh, you were putty in the hands of a district girl. your family would freak if they even saw you this close to her. but you couldn’t get her out of your head. you looked up at her, and she was staring down at you, completely unashamed about her method of flirtation. she held a rather smug look on her face regarding the effect her touch had on you. 

     “you holding up okay in here?” you asked her, moving the focus away from your embarrassing reaction.

     “better than ever.” she replied, sarcastically joyful. mentally, you pinched yourself for the dumb question. she was locked in a cage about to fight for her life, of course she wasn’t okay. but coral took the question lightly, bidding you goodnight as she strode away calmly.

     it was now the last time you would see coral before the games. you had snuck into the zoo late at night, hoping to see her before she was taken away to the arena. “night before the games… how’re you feeling?” you fidgeted anxiously with the hem of your skirt as you posed the question.

     “confident.” was her short, vague reply. 

     “that much?” your face contorted in  concern at her answer. she reached her hand through the bars, grabbing yours and holding it firmly. it was the first time that contact between the two of you lasted more than a few seconds.

     “don’t psych me out, princess. you were the one who said you thought i could win anyway.” coral laughed. “but yea, i got this in the bag. don’t you worry your pretty little head about me, darling. in a few days, you’re all mine, i’ll make sure of it.” coral left you with a wink, squeezing your hand before promptly walking away to her claimed rock, mizzen already dozing off on top of it. you sighed, leaving the zoo while the girl consumed your thoughts. she always had you on edge, leaving wanting more. and hopefully, you’d get more.

[nomadstucky]

The Truth 

Pairing: Ari Levinson x Reader

WC: ~6.8K

Warnings: This is an Omegaverse fic. If this bothers you, please do not read it. Alternatively, this will include smut, so Minors, DO NOT Interact!! You are responsible for your own media consumption. I have put the proper warnings on this fic. Ari being an absolute sweetheart. 

Summary: Finding out the truth. (I suck at summaries)

Divider - Firefly graphics. 

It all happened so quickly. One day, she was here. The next day, she was gone. And had left you to plan a funeral, wake, and make sure the family knew she was gone. Grief can be a fickle little thing. Especially when there wasn’t much emotion. You always thought when your mother passed, there would be anger, crying, sadness, and just raw emotions. But there wasn’t. 

You weren’t angry at the world for taking her, you weren’t crying every minute of the day. Yes, you missed her terribly, but the lack of emotion made you feel wrong. Like you should be crying every minute of the day, like you should be angry and cursing the world for taking her from you. 

Stephanie, a long time friend of yours, was one of the first people you called after the funeral. “There’s something seriously wrong with me.” You told her. 

“No, there’s not. You don’t need to be overly emotional. You can miss her without all of that.” She said, softly. 

“She was my mom, Steph! She’s gone, and I haven’t even cried since I found her! I cried a little bit today, but other than that, there has been no emotion. Is it a trauma response? What’s happening?” 

“You’re not the first person who hasn’t had a crazy emotional response. You cried when you found her, and evidently, today. There’s nothing wrong with you.” 

You sighed, “I have to go.  You’re still coming with me tomorrow right?” 

“To go through the house? Absolutely! After we go through it, I’m thinking maybe we can make a list of what you want changed, and we can get the supplies. I have a friend, who’d be able to help with pretty much any renovations or anything you’d need. He’s a bit of a handyman.” 

“Yeah. Actually, that may be a good idea. I don’t know if I want to change too much about it though. We’ll probably have to re-paint it. But I do want the front porch re-built. So if he can do that, just get him to give me a price point.” 

“Perfect! Do you want me to have him meet us out there? Or do you want to wait?” “No, you can have him meet us there. I do want to do this as soon as possible. The sooner the better!” You smiled. 

“Perfect! I’ll see you tomorrow!!” 

“Thanks, Steph!” You called before hanging up the phone. There was a serenity in Stephanie's words that unfailingly put you at ease. Quickly changing into your pajamas, you climb into bed. It didn’t take long before you were falling asleep. 

Waking up the next morning proved difficult. You had opted to pack away the final little things, like the coffee maker, mugs, blenders, little appliances. Texting Steph, you asked if she wanted a coffee, before changing. 

After her ‘no thank you’, you grabbed your stuff and walked out the door to your old apartment. You’d be back tomorrow to get your stuff. Hopping in your vehicle, you headed to your family home. 

It didn’t take very long to get there, seeing Steph and her friend were already there. Stepping out of the vehicle, you called, “Hey!” walking over to her. 

“There she is!” Steph smiled as she walked over to you, wrapping her arms around you, “It’s good to see you.” 

“You, too!” You hug her back. 

Smiling, she pulled away, “c’mon,” she pulled you up the front steps, “this is Ari Levinson. The handyman-slash-friend, I was telling you about.” She then proceeded to introduce you to him. 

He turned to you, and your breath caught in your throat, he was massive. Easily 6’4, and broad shoulders made him look intimidating. The soft smile on his face indicated he was anything but.

 “It’s nice to meet you.” You said as you held your hand out to him.

“Trust me, the pleasure is all mine, Sunshine.” His voice was deep, as his hand encased yours. Shaking his hand, your face heated and you weren’t sure if it was the nickname, or if it was the sheer size of him. 

Clearing your throat, you dropped his hand, “no point in staying outside. Can I get you guys anything? Coffee? Tea? Water?” You asked unlocking the door and stepping in. Steph and Ari shook their heads as they stepped in behind you.

 “You weren’t kidding when you said this place was big huh?” Steph said, voice in awe.

You giggled, “she loved the extravagance. You know that.” 

You smiled as Steph took a look around the expansive living room. It had been a while since you had been here. Being an only child, oftentimes left you feeling alone and isolated here in the house. It was nice to see someone enjoy it.

Ari’s shoulder gently knocked into yours, before his voice washed over you again, “I hope I’m not overstepping. Steph filled me in. I’m terribly sorry about your loss.” 

You couldn’t explain the sudden surge of emotion that washed over you. You had people express their condolences to you all day yesterday, but still the condolences of a stranger had your eyes misting over. “Thank you..” you whispered. 

Ari cleared his throat, “Steph mentioned you wanted the deck redone. How about I take a look at it, come up with a few different sketches, and we’ll go from there?” 

You nodded, and looked up into those beautiful ocean blue eyes of his. “Thank you.” You said a little firmer this time. 

“No need for that.” He stated, offering a small smile as he walked back out. 

Within an hour, you and Stephanie had most of your mothers things sectioned out. You had a keep bag, a donate bag, and a garbage bag. 

“I think it may be time for a break?” You questioned, looking over at her. 

“What did you have in mind?” 

“Let me take you guys out to lunch? We can take this donated bag out to the shelter. Then I’ll move my stuff tomorrow.” 

“Sure! I can see if we can borrow Ari’s truck tomorrow. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.” 

“Steph! You don’t have to help me move, you’ve already done enough. So has Ari.” 

“I don’t wanna hear it. C’mon. Let’s go.” 

You giggled and followed her after tying off the ‘donate’ bag. 

Walking outside, you put the bag in your trunk, and walked over to Steph, and Ari, catching the tail end of the conversation. 

“-- your truck. It’ll be a lot easier to move the boxes.” 

Ari chuckled, “why don’t I just pick you up and we can head out together? I don’t have anything else to do tomorrow but grab the wood for the porch. Speaking of which,” he turns to you sketchbook in hand, “there’s 3 separate options.” 

Gently take it, “You guys are helping me enough, trust me, I can handle a little bit of moving.” You glanced at the open page of the sketchbook. The first option was a wrap around porch, with a white finish. The second was a few steps, with a small sitting area, with a dark cherry finish. The third was a basic flat porch, with a mesh covering, resembling a sunroom, with a light brown wood finish. “My mother would’ve loved the first one.” 

“You don’t have to handle it. Not yourself. Is the first one the one you love?” Ari questioned, eyes never leaving you, as you hand him the sketchbook back. 

“Yeah.” You were interrupted by your alarm going off. “Alright. Lunch? I need to take this medication, and I can’t take it on an empty stomach!” You giggled, before hopping back in your vehicle. 

The drive to the diner, and the first half of lunch, was filled with laughs, jokes, and Ari asking questions to get to know you better. Mostly family questions. He had learned that you were an only child, your father had left when you were just 3-4 years old, and that you and Stephanie had known each other for the better part of 15 years. 

You pulled the bottle of medication out of your purse, dispensed a pill and took it. “So what does this medication help with?” Ari asked you, with a weird look in his eyes that you couldn’t place. 

“It’s to help me focus. I’ve been on it since I was 6 or 7. My mother noticed I had issues with focusing, and so here I am stuck taking it for the rest of my life.” You smiled, handing the bottle to him so he could see. 

Ari took it, humming as he read the label. He passed it back to you without saying anything else. The rest of the lunch went by fairly well, except for the fact that Ari was quiet, and reserved. 

You had tried multiple times to get his attention, but to no avail. He either flat out ignored the attempt, or he just hummed. The ride back to the house was just as quiet. 

You hugged Steph again before she hopped in her vehicle, promising to see you again tomorrow morning. Walking over to Ari, you felt the overwhelming need to apologize. “Hey,” you said just before he closed the driver's side door, “I just wanted to apologize.. If I made you uncomfortable or anything.” 

Ari shook his head, “You didn’t. You don’t have to apologize. And again, I hope I’m not overstepping, but I think you should look into that medication you’re taking.” He said, voice low as if it was a secret. “W-What..? Wh-” You began to say before he interrupted you. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said before closing his door, and driving off, leaving you dumbfounded. 

You hadn’t slept the night before, completely enraptured with Ari’s warning. The tone of his voice as he said it, how quiet he was after reading the label. You had read the label so many times since he put it back in your hands, you had it practically memorized. 

You didn’t find anything on the medication. Nothing. Not even what you were supposed to be taking it for. It was as if the medication didn’t exist, which only fueled your confusion more. 

A knock at the door startled you, but you got up and opened it, seeing Steph, and Ari on the other side. You stepped aside and allowed them in, keeping your eyes not on Ari. Anywhere but him. 

“Thank you guys for your help again.” You whispered. 

Steph frowned, “Are you okay? Are you not feeling well?” 

“I’m okay. Can we just get this done, please?” You kept your voice low, grabbing a box and walked past Ari out the door. 

It continued like that, all of you taking the boxes out quietly. Until Ari had cornered you in the apartment. “If you want me to leave, all you have to do is say the word, and I’ll leave.” 

“Why would I want that?” You whispered. 

“You tell me. You haven’t said one thing to me, or looked at me the entire time I’ve been here. I’m assuming it has something to do with yesterday.” 

“You know what they say about assumptions.” 

Ari whispered your name, “please” 

“Look. I don’t know what game you’re playing, but it’s freaking me out. I couldn’t find anything. Nothing came up in my search for my medication.” You finally looked at him. 

“I’m not playing any games. I swear, I’m not. Whatever you need, any questions you have, I can answer them.” 

“Why? What do you know that you’re not telling me?”

“You really don’t know…” Ari frowned, “She never told you.” 

Your eyes widened, “Who didn’t tell me? What is happening?” 

“I’ll tell you everything, I just can’t tell you here. Okay?” 

“Why? What is going on?” 

“I promise, I’ll fill you in. Just let me figure out how.” Ari picked up a box beside you and nodded before walking it out to his truck. 

This was the only  conversation that happened throughout the moving process. Even in Ari’s truck on the way back to your family home. The dull sounds of the music filling the car, you tried to figure out what it was that he would tell you. 

The words, she never told you, floated around in your head. Who could he be talking about? What did he know? “What did you do to the poor girl?” Steph’s voice brought you out of your thoughts. 

“What are you talking about?” Ari retorted. 

“She’s glaring at your seat, dumbass. What did you do to her?” “He didn’t. Sorry, I’m just in my head.” You interrupted. 

Ari pulled into the driveway, and once again it was quiet unloading the boxes. 

Once everything was put in the house, “Thanks again. I really appreciate it.” You glanced between Steph, and Ari. “It’s not a problem, do you want us to help unpack?” You shook your head, “You guys have helped enough.” 

Steph nodded, and gave you a hug, “We’ll have to throw a little housewarming party.” 

You giggled, hugging her back, “no, but we could do like a movie night if you wanted!” 

“Sounds perfect. If you need anything, I’m always here.” 

“I appreciate that.” You said as she walked back out to Ari’s truck. 

Ari pulled his phone out, unlocked it and handed it to you. “If you have any questions. Don’t hesitate to reach out.” 

“You have yet to answer my first question.” You said taking it, and putting your phone number in it, before handing it back to him. 

“I will. I promise.” “So drop Steph at home, and come back. I need to know what’s going on. Please.” 

Ari nodded, “okay.” before walking out, and to his car. 

You knew Stephanie’s house wasn’t all that far, and yet, the minutes stretched to feel like hours. In the time Ari had gone, you had unpacked one singular box, stuff that was supposed to go in your room. 

What did you need in said box? Your laptop. Maybe Google would yield different results on your computer vs your phone. You knew it wouldn’t but you needed a reason why it wasn’t showing up. Ari knocking on the door took you from your thoughts, “Come in!” You called. 

Ari bit his lip as he entered, “I knew she probably wouldn’t tell you. She hated what he was. Hated that he didn’t tell her until after you were born.” 

You looked up at him, eyes wide, not expecting him to come in explaining right off the bat. 

“Your father was an alpha. Your mother never cared for the statuses of it all. Everyone in the town hated that he chose someone that wasn’t involved. She took you when you were 4 years old, and left. Swore off this life. That she wanted more for you.” He said, softer this time. 

“You knew my dad? And you knew my mom. You… Did you know me?” Your voice shook. 

“Your father introduced us. I was 5 years old when I first met you. You were 2. Your father tried to explain the intricacies to your mother, before she took you away from it all. She said that you weren’t going to be involved in this. That you deserved better.” Ari paced around the living room. “I didn’t think it was possible. Steph when she introduced you, I didn’t believe her. But you look so much like him.” 

Your eyes widened, as tears gathered in your eyes, “Ari…” 

“The medication is a type of blocker. Your mother must have gotten it from the doctor in town. He made sure to keep her secret. He didn’t mention where you were, or where she was. If he even knew, but he had to have. He kept refilling the prescription.” He was speaking as if to himself, as if trying to figure it all out.

“What does it block?” You whispered, completely shocked. 

Ari snapped his head to you, “I… I’m so sorry. Is this. Maybe I should stop talking.” 

“No!” You stood abruptly, “Please…” 

Ari gulped audibly, “there are two different types. One only blocks heats. But it still keeps the heightened emotions, and senses. The other blocks everything. The one you have, blocks everything. It essentially shuts down your instincts.” 

You took a deep breath, tears falling. Hastily wiping them away, “So what am I?” 

“An Omega.” 

A shiver zipped down your spine. “S-So… if I don’t take that medication what happens to me?” 

“You’ll come into your instincts. It’s kind of like, you won’t know what that means for you until you actually embrace it.” You sat back down on the sofa. Ari cautiously sat down on the other end. “I know it’s a lot to take in…” 

“What was he like?” You turned back to Ari, “my father.” 

The corner of Ari’s mouth turned upwards, “He was a great man. A wonderful leader. He made sure everyone was taken care of. I wasn’t joking when I said you look a lot like him.” 

“It doesn’t make sense. She said he left. That he made the choice to not be around…” 

Ari shook his head, “He loved you. He hated that she took you with her.”

“He could’ve fought her for it!” 

“And do what? They weren’t married.” 

You shook your head, “So you knew who I was, before I knew you. I-I’m sorry, but I don’t remember you. I genuinely thought that we were just meeting for the first time, yesterday!” 

“I did know you when we were younger. I left here yesterday, and went back and asked around. There weren’t many people that remembered you. But there were a few.” 

You felt your breath get shallow, “I-Is Steph…?” 

Ari shook his head, “No. She doesn’t even know about us. Most people don’t.” 

“Us. So you’re… wait. What are you?”

“An alpha.” 

“Okay, so you’re an alpha. Like my father was?” Ari nodded, “yeah. I took over for my father.” 

“A-Are there female alpha’s?” 

“Not biologically, but you can have an Omega in an ‘Alpha’ position. If he passes away, she would be his successor. Unless they have a son who’s of age.” 

You leaned your head back against the back of the couch. “This is hurting my head.” 

Ari sympathetically smiled, “it can be a lot.” 

“So, I stop taking the blockers, and I’ll become that.. And if I continue taking it, it’ll continue to suppress that…?” You closed your eyes. 

Ari nodded, “yeah.” 

“I’m sorry to bother you with all of this.. I’m sure you didn’t sign up for it.” 

“You don’t owe any apologies. It’s entirely your choice.” 

“Wait. You said an Omega can be put into an Alpha position. So, that means that Alpha’s and Omega’s are fated to be together?” 

“Most of the time, sometimes you have situations like your parents. Where the Alpha falls for someone outside of the circle.” 

“So doesn’t that make me like half?” 

Ari chuckled, “it doesn’t work like that. You have more of him in you. You have a scent. So, other Alpha’s and Omega’s can smell that you have a distinction. Normal people don’t have the ability to scent.” “So what do I smell like?” 

“Your blockers prevent me from being able to tell you.”

“Oh.” 

Ari looked at you, waiting to hear what you wanted to say. 

“I don’t know what to do here…” 

“You do what you feel is right, sunshine.” 

“Okay…” 

“Do you have any other questions for me?” 

You shook your head, Ari nodded, “Alright, I’m gonna head out. If you think of anything you know where to find me.” He stood. 

“Thanks again, for everything.” You whispered and looked up at him. 

“My pleasure, sweetheart.” Ari smiled, before leaving you all alone with your thoughts. 

It had been three weeks, three whole weeks without contacting Ari, and you had no intention of changing that. You had stopped taking the medication two weeks ago, and nothing had changed. You assumed maybe you were more like your mother than he thought. The thought of never speaking to Ari crosses your mind. 

Why does that thought make your stomach twist uncomfortably? You shake your head, walking up to your front door. “Foolish” you whisper walking into the house after your work day. Finally, being back within your space just made you tired, and sluggish. You kicked off your sneakers and climbed into your bed to take a nap. Allowing your eyes to close, you almost immediately fall into a deep sleep. 

You wake the next morning, to intense discomfort in your stomach. Thinking it was just a cramp, you attempt to sit up. Only to cry out and clutch your stomach. Laying back down, you reach over for your phone, and call out of work. No way you were going in, until you figured out what it was that was plaguing you. 

It didn’t feel like a typical period, but it also didn’t feel like a typical cold or flu either. The insistent throbbing was intense, and only increased anytime you moved, no matter how little the movement. 

Within a matter of an hour, you were in tears; the pain was so intense. Your hair was sticking to your forehead, and your neck. Your body burned, but the fan in your room was doing nothing to cool you off. Every feeling was worse. Your body ached. 

Your phone chimed and you answered on instinct. “H-Hello?” You choked out. 

“What’s wrong?” Stephanie asked. 

“I just feel like shit.” You spoke, tears cascading down your cheeks. 

“I’m coming over! I’ll bring soup, and some other things! Okay? What are your symptoms? Maybe I can bring some medication!” 

You shook your head, “No. Steph, please. I don’t want any of that, I’m fine. I’m sure it’ll be over soon. I would really rather be alone.” You closed your eyes. 

“No, I’m not leaving you to fight this on your own. C’mon. Please!” She begged. 

“No, no. Really, I’m okay!” You insisted. 

Stephanie sighed, but ultimately stayed silent. You knew she was debating going against your wishes. “I promise I’m okay. I’ll be alright.” You said. 

She sighed once again, before conceding. “Okay. Okay, but if you don’t call me in a couple hours and let me know how you are, I’m coming over.” She sternly said. 

“I will! I promise! Thank you!” You called, before hanging up. 

Another hour, and the body aches grew worse, so did your body heat. You couldn’t sleep, because of the discomfort. You couldn’t hear him, didn’t hear the spare key unlocking the door, didn’t hear him call your name. You didn’t see him, but there he was knocking on the bedroom door, and softly calling your name. Letting out a sob, he let himself in the room. “Hey sunshine.” He called, immediately the air in the room changed. 

“Go away” You whined, body twisting in the sheets to face away from him, though it hurt.

“I brought you a couple things. Steph told me where to find the spare key, and said you were sick. Given the events, I knew the truth.” He talked calmly, walking towards the bed.

“No. I don’t want it.” Your voice muffled by the pillow. 

“Just some basic comfort items. A couple different blankets, I wasn’t sure which ones were your favorites. I brought some different teas, some different little snacks, but again I’m not sure exactly what you like, and some different shirts, of mine.” “Why would I want your shirts? Why would I want anything from you?” “Are you going to continue to be aggressive? Or do you want to figure this out?” 

“Don’t. What do you know? What aren’t you telling me?” 

“Sunshine, I really need you to calm down, and not freak out on me. Can we do that?” There was this distinction,this deep timbre of his voice, that wasn’t there before, and you found yourself relaxing against the sheets. 

“How did you do that?” The ache had dulled, if only slightly, “Ari, what just happened?” 

Ari chuckled, hand splaying across your back, gently rubbing, “can you turn towards me?” 

You pouted, and turned your head to face him. “Oh, baby.” Ari pouted back at you. He set the bag down beside him, and moved in closer. Getting in the bed and gently picking you up, and settling you down on his chest. You were immediately surrounded by an outdoorsy scent. Pine was the immediate scent your nose caught. But what was more important, your body relaxed further into him. “It’s called a purr. An alpha pur. It’s got this ability to settle almost anyone like us.” 

“No. No. I don’t wanna talk about this. I don’t wanna hear this.” Whining, you pushed off his chest. Ari didn’t let you get far, locking his hands around your back. 

“This is who you are, sunshine.” 

“No. No, this is who YOU are. This is who my dad was. But it’s not me. It can’t be me.” Your voice cracked. “Easy, honey. I know this is overwhelming, how can I make it better? Tell me what you need, yeah?” 

“Nothing. You can’t make it better, it’s just a stupid flu, it’ll be over soon, and then I won’t ever have to see you again.” 

“Why do you wanna get rid of me so fast?” Ari pouted, and you had this sudden urge to take everything you said back, to console him. 

“What is happening to me?” You whispered, more so speaking to yourself than anything. 

Ari brushes your hair back behind your shoulder. “You know what’s happening.” “No! Let me go. Get out of my house. Leave me alone.” 

“Baby. Take a breath for me.” 

“Stop doing that!” 

“No.” Ari turns, pinning you to the mattress. “Now, I’ve been trying to give you space to hopefully come to terms with what you are. With who you are. But you don’t wanna do that, huh baby? So, here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna talk this out. You’re going to have to grasp this. Your mother knew,” he said leaning down, running his nose down your throat, before straightening out again, “why do you think she wanted to hide it?” 

“No! No, you don’t get to talk about them.” Your head tilted gently. “Please,” You whispered.

“C’mon honey. Do you need me to spell it out for you?” 

Your hands gripped at his shirt, suddenly the idea of him walking away terrified you. “Ari. I-I don’t.. Please.” 

“Use your words baby.” 

“All I have is what you’ve told me.” Ari chuckled, “So use what I’ve told you. Use your brain. Ask me what you need to know.” 

You rolled your eyes, “I’m glad you’re having such a good time with my misery.” 

“No, no, hang on-” 

“I didn’t want to ask you. I still don’t. I didn’t want to talk to you, or see you. But, here you are.” 

Ari raised his eyebrows.

“What’s happening to me?” You whispered. 

“You’re in heat. Or entering your heat. Your first one, because of the medication, so it’s intense.”

“So what does that mean for me?” 

“That you need to stay home.”

“No. I can’t. I have to work, Ari.” 

“I know, but you’re changing. You’re sensitive, both your body and your mind. To be honest with you, you’re going to be in pain and you’re going to be insanely horny, but simply fucking won’t do it for you,” Your eyes widened, “Anyone within our delegation will be able to smell you. Remember? You’ll lead them right to you. Thing is, an omega in heat is so very tempting. It’ll get worse if they can’t see or smell an alpha on you. You’ll be their number one target. So please, just stay home.” 

“Why? Do you want me for yourself or something?” 

Ari chuckled, “as tempting as that is. I want you to have the choice. They won’t hesitate to take you. Especially if no one has claimed you for lack of a better term.” 

Your breath hitched, “how are you able to do it?” 

“Do what, honey?” 

“Resist. If I’m… unclaimed. That means it has an effect on you too…” 

“Like I said, I want it to be your choice. It absolutely affects me. But I need you to come to terms with things before anything gets put on you. This, like everything else, needs to be your choice.” 

You bit your lip, considering your next words carefully. “What if I asked you to.” 

You swore you could see Ari’s brain short circuit for a moment. “No. Not until you know what that means.” 

“So what?” You huff, “You’re gonna sit here and tell me that the only possible way that I can get rid of the pain is if I have someone fuck me. But you won’t help me out with that?!” 

“I already told you. It’s not just fucking. Heats and ruts are similar. The same properties, just ruts are typical of a male. Men are often better at keeping their composure as pain is ripping through them. For you, the pain stops when you’re given what’s called a knot.” Ari hummed. 

“So nothing else will work. Got it. But, if I can’t go out, how am I supposed to get anything done?” 

“I’ll take care of you. I’ll be around, doing basic chores for you. That’s what the shirts are for. If someone does happen to smell you, they’ll smell me. They’ll think you’re claimed, so they won’t touch you.” “So you do have ulterior motives then.” You bit your lip again. 

Ari merely stared at you, “I’ve already answered that.” 

You pouted, “I was trying to be funny.”  

Ari rolled his eyes, and grabbed the plastic bag, setting it on the bed beside you. “Here. I’m gonna go make you some food. Okay?” You nodded, “Any requests?” He asked. 

You thought for a moment. “Grilled cheese and tomato soup?” You asked. 

Ari grinned, “Coming right up. I’ll be back.” 

You watched him walk out of the room, and smiled. You had no idea why you were smiling, but the idea of making Ari smile made you very happy. 

You slowly sat up despite the discomfort, and emptied the bag in front of you. All of a sudden, you were enveloped in the same scent that you smelt when you were so close to Ari. You decided that you enjoyed it. 

Carefully ripping open one of the blankets, that were softer than anything you ever owned before, you laid it out on the bed. Adding one of Ari’s shirts, it was very comfy, and you felt pride swell in your chest. Settling back under the covers, you were reminded of the pain. Doubling over, you whined. It wasn’t as bad as before, but it was still bad. 

Ari came back shortly after with your soup, and sandwich. He smiled widely when he entered, seeing you laying in amongst the blankets and various shirts he brought. Letting out a soft “Here.” as he got closer. 

“Well look at you” he said as he kneeled by the bed. 

“What?” You asked, taking a bite of the sandwich. 

“You’re already nesting.” He smiled. 

You frowned, swallowing the bite. “Is that a bad thing?”

Ari shook his head, “No, Honey. It’s a good thing. It’ll keep you as comfortable as possible.” 

You nodded, “I liked it better when you were in here with me.” You said, taking another bite, before your eyes widened. “Wait. I-I didn’t… I wasn’t supposed to say that out loud.” You rushed to swallow the bite before looking over at Ari. 

Ari laughed, full belly laughed, your face heated as your gaze settled on the sandwich. “‘S okay, Sunshine. You’re gonna be a little more direct now.” 

You shook your head, but didn’t say anything. Instead you focused on eating. Ari slowly rose to his feet, and sat down next to you. “This better?” 

You could hear the playful lilt to his voice, but it still didn’t help the heat in your face. You were mortified. His hand settled along your back. It stayed like that for a while, you eating with Ari rubbing your back in slow circles. It really did feel nice to have him so close. 

As he stood to leave, he grabbed your plate. “Wait.” you looked up at him, “before, I-I asked you what I smelt like. You couldn’t tell me… You smell different, so does that mean I do too?” 

Ari grinned, “You do. You smell like apples and cinnamon.” 

You smiled, big and bright. “Will you be back tomorrow?” You asked. 

Ari nodded, “Yeah. Try to get some sleep okay.” Ari leaned down, gently kissing your forehead before walking out.

You heard him rustling around, before ultimately leaving for the night. Surprisingly, it didn’t take you much to fall asleep that night. 

True to his word, Ari came back the following day. The only indication being you could hear him rattling around in the kitchen. Slowly getting out of bed, you were met with the lovely sight of Ari cleaning your kitchen, shirtless.

You cleared your throat, attempting to look anywhere but at him as he turned around. “G’morning sleepyhead. I brought you a coffee, but I wasn’t sure what you took in it, so there’s creamer, milk and sugar in the bag on the table.” 

“Thanks.” You said slowly walking over to the table, grabbing the coffee. 

“How’re you feeling?” Ari crossed his arms across his chest and leaned against the counter. 

You felt your mouth dry, “uh… Is there a way I’m supposed to feel? I feel like shit.” Glancing up at him, you felt the air drain from your lungs.

Ari chuckled, “Par for the course. Maybe a shower would make you feel better?” 

“Can a shower get rid of this itching in my bones?” You quipped. 

Ari laughed, “No, but it can help with the stickiness, and sweat.” 

You rolled your eyes before walking out to the shower. 

You turned the water on, as hot as you can stand it, before stepping in. You stood under the cascading water, allowing it to, at the very least, relax the tense muscles. You opted to just give your body a quick wash. 

You did have to admit, you felt better, still not the best, but getting there. You noted as you stepped out, and dried yourself off, wrapping the towel around your body afterwards. 

Walking to the door you opened it, and found yourself face to face with Ari, who had his hand raised as if he was going to knock. “Hi.” You whispered. Ari cleared his throat as his eyes took in your lack of clothing. His eyes snapped up to your face, before he moved out of the way. 

You frowned, before walking back into your room, Ari following. 

“You’re killing me, you know that?” Ari paced the space. 

You pouted, “I didn’t even do anything.” 

“You did! You come out in a fucking towel, after asking me yesterday to fuck you.” Ari growled.

“You said no. Has that answer changed?” You watched him, before, “Ari. You’re going to burn a hole in the carpet.” You attempted to make light of the situation. 

Ari groaned, glancing at you. His eyes cascaded down your body, before snapping back to your face. “Fuck.” He muttered, dragging a hand down his face. 

“Please” You whispered into the room. 

“Sunshine, you have no idea what you’re asking for.” 

“I do. I want it. I want you. Please.” 

“Sweetheart.” 

You nodded, “Please. Ari, please.” You whined.

“You sound so sweet when you’re begging, baby.” 

Your face heated, putting your hands in front of your face. 

“No. No. None of that” Ari chastised, walking to you, and pulling your hands from your face. “Let me see you. Do you want it? Take it off for me baby.” 

Ari moved to sit back on the bed, to give you enough space. You gulped and lifted the towel from your body. Tossing it gently to the floor. Your eyes never left Ari, as he bit his lip, and groaned, throwing his head back. “You don’t even realize what you’re doing.” You moved to sit somewhat beside him.

You pouted as he looked back at you. “In a good way, baby. A very good way.” Ari smirked, crawling towards you. “Lay back for me.” 

You hesitated just for a moment, before laying back against the pillows, looking down the length of your body at Ari. He followed, stretching out over you “Such a good girl. Look at you.” 

You pouted, reaching forward and pulling on his belt loops. “You’re not being fair.” Ari grinned back, pulling his pants off. 

This time, you didn’t stop yourself from shamelessly ogling. Carefully, he laid down, draping his body over yours. “Is that better, baby?” You could only nod dumbly, encased entirely in Ari’s scent. “What do you want?” he leaned down, running his nose over your throat, before leaving gentle kisses up the length. 

You let out a shuddering breath. “Why do you keep doing that?” 

Ari chuckled. “Number 1 reason? You smell so fucking good. Number 2,” he brought his hand up, and gently pressed against the side of your neck, “right here. Is where a specific gland is located. It's called the mating gland. Biting it, essentially marks you as mine. Forever.”

Gasping, you tilt your head just slightly, but Ari tracks the movement. “You want that baby? Want me to mark you. Make you mine.” 

You whined, “please” lifting your hips, you unintentionally grind down on Ari’s cock. 

“Jesus, Fuck.” Ari’s head fell forward, catching on your shoulder. 

You squeaked, “sorry.” 

He leaned back up, gently brushing his lips against yours. “Don’t tease.” You whispered. 

Ari let out a noise that was somewhere between a laugh and a moan before surging forward and kissing you. It was as if nothing else mattered to him, like he’d been possessed and had to have you. 

He tasted like coffee, with a slight undertone that was unique to him. You could feel the movements of Ari pulling his briefs off, before his hand settled on your hip, as his tongue laved against your bottom lip. Your arms had come up settling against his shoulders, as one of your hands weaved itself into his hair. Ari moaned, pressing his hips down into yours. 

Gasping, you pulled away breathless. You whined his name. Ari grunted in return, “I know, baby, I know. Gonna give it to you, yeah? ‘S that what you want, pretty girl?” He remarked, lifting himself with one hand, before his other went to his cock. 

Glancing down your body, with a muddled, “You’re gonna be the death of me baby. Fucking hell.” Ari gave himself a couple strokes, before gently lining himself up. “Ready?” 

“Please, Ari, please.” You babbled. Your eyes widened, letting out an obscenely loud moan as he sank into you. 

“Fuck. Shit. Relax, baby, you gotta relax for me.” Ari gritted out, “Please, fuck, you’re so tight.” 

Whining, as he bottomed out. “Jesus.. Gonna move okay honey?” 

A plethora of ‘yes’ and ‘please’ left your mouth in a hurry. Moaning as he pulled almost completely out of you, before pushing back in. 

Ari set a soft, slow pace, making sure you felt every drag of his cock. You moaned his name, and he locked his eyes onto yours. “That’s it, atta girl. Look at you. My good girl.” 

Ari watched as his words lit a fire in your eyes. “Yes, Ari. Please.” You had no clue what you were begging for at this point. But fuck, if he didn’t relish in it. 

“There she is. That what you want, Sunshine? You wanna be my good girl?” He grunted out, hips picking up their pace if only slightly. 

You nodded shakily, moaning. 

“Fuck, you are. Need you to cum baby.” Ari gritted. “Please. Need to feel you cum.” 

Whimpering, you could feel it beginning at the base of your spine, like he was in control of everything. Your body could do nothing but succumb to his command. 

Your body locked, muscles tight, screaming his name as he bit down against your mating glad, triggering your orgasm. 

You could distantly hear Ari chanting, over the dull roar in your ears. “Gonna give it to you, fuck gonna give you everything.” He growled only moments before his own release triggered. 

You could only gasp, as you felt the heat, radiating throughout your body. Ari had collapsed on top of you, mindful to not put his entire weight on you. 

You played with Ari’s hair as you both came down from your respective highs. “You alright?” Ari questioned, voice soft. 

You hummed, “I feel incredible.” You smiled. 

“Good. Good. We’re gonna wait a minute, and then we’ll do it all over again, and this time. You’ll bite me.” Ari smirked before flattening his tongue over the spot he bit. 

“Oh!” You squeaked, causing Ari to laugh. 

[4townie]

Road to 4☆TOWN

part 31 | part 32 | part 33 | part 34

“Robaire? Robaire? ROBAIRE!”

“Huh?” Robaire jumped when Jesse snapped in his face. “Oh, sorry, Jes. I guess I’m a little distracted.” He sighed. “I’ve got a lot on my mind right now.”

“Yeah, I bet.” Jesse snorted. “You’ve got paparazzi following you everywhere you go now that you and Janelle have gone public.”

“No—I mean, that is getting a little annoying, but she said it was best for us to do.” Robaire sighed. “It’s actually about my parents. Can you believe they don’t like Janelle? They think she walks all over me.”

Jesse stared at him. “You know Selina and I said the same thing to you forever ago, right? Do you really think all of us are wrong?”

“Yes, I do.” Robaire narrowed his eyes. “Can’t you just be happy for me?”

“I really, really want to, but I can’t be happy about a relationship that’s suffocating you like this.” Jesse admitted. “And it kills me that you can’t see what it’s doing to you.”

“Ugh, not you, too.” Robaire groaned. “You guys really need to back off with this. You’re acting like she has me in some type of chokehold.”

“Maybe because she does.” Jesse shrugged. “You’ve been acting so different ever since you met her and it’s bugging me. Hell, you’ve hardly even focused on the music like you said you would when we got back from the tour. You’ve only been over here like once.”

“I know, I know, but I’m always focused on the music. My whole life has been consumed by 4☆TOWN for the past three years, it’s nice just having something for me. I mean, don’t you want me to be as happy as you are with Selina?”

“Robaire, quit lying to yourself.” Jesse rolled his eyes. “This is not that and you know it.”

“How can you be so sure?” Robaire crossed his arms. “I mean, I know we haven’t been together as long as you guys, but she makes me feel alive.”

Jesse scoffed. “Alive in your pants maybe. What actual substance is there to your relationship? Every time you talk about her, all I hear is you giving and her taking.”

“Don’t they always say it’s better to give than to receive?” Robaire retorted. “Besides, I like doing things for her. You’re constantly doing things for Selina.”

“Yeah, of course I do things for her, but she does things for me, too.” Jesse reminded him. “After rough days at the studio, she lets me rest my head on her chest and listens while I rant about everything. And then on the anniversary of our prom night, she’ll tell me all the things that make her fall in love with me over and over again.”

“I get it, Jes, but—”

“Three months after we started dating, she came to my dad’s funeral and put up with the disgusted looks and racist remarks behind her back just because she wanted to be there for me.” Jesse narrowed his eyes. “Do you believe Janelle would do that for you? And I mean actually believe it, not just that you want to believe it.”

Robaire was quiet for a moment. “You know, you used to be cool.” He averted eye contact. “Now cuz I’ve got a girl of my own and I’m not spending all my time third wheeling you and Selina, you have a problem. You don’t even know her.”

“You’re right. I don’t know her.” Jesse agreed. “But I know you. You’re never this stupid, and you don’t let anything come before the band.”

“Oh yeah cuz—”

“No, not me. Not the other members.” Jesse stopped him. “The band. Your career. Your dream.”

Robaire was silent. He refused to look at him.

“Alright, fine. Be like that.” Jesse set his guitar down and got up. “You wanna keep lying to yourself, that’s up to you.” He glared over his shoulder. “But when shit hits the fan, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

———

4TOWNIES!!! Tomorrow, March 2nd, is a global strike for Palestine so please try to refrain from making fandom posts and instead reblog informative posts, donate if you can, and don’t stop talking about Palestine!

[thetargaryenbride]

Nail To The Coffin - Chapter 5

Warnings: curse words, abusive father 

Pairing: Steve Harrington x f!Byers!Reader

Word Count: 8K

A.N: We’ve reached the point in the story where we meet Lonnie and see what kind of influence he had on reader. In the show it’s not specified what he had done in order for him to divorce Joyce but I looked it up and it turns out he was quite an abusive piece of shit. I’ve made that part of him stand out a bit more, hence why I’ve put the warning. Of course, feel free to give constructive criticism if you feel like something can be improved in the story or if I’ve made the characters OOC. It’s very important for me to try keep the characters in character so please correct me if you see me stray from that path haha. Hope you like the chapter~  ❤️

Masterlist || Chapter 4 || Chapter 6

After the discovery at the morgue, Hopper had brought you back home before driving off towards the lab, leaving you worried beyond belief. But that worry had gotten pushed aside momentarily when your eyes landed on an unfamiliar car parked in front of your house.

You quietly opened the front door and poked your head inside, not wanting to alert anyone as you strained your ears to hear if someone was in there.

“I don’t know what to do,” you heard your mother’s voice, and your body relaxed. For a moment there you had been filled with panic, thinking that this unfamiliar car had something to do with the people from outside the restaurant. You thought Hopper was right when he said he didn’t know how far they could go and that maybe they had come here to take you and your family.

“This whole time… I… I could… I could feel him,” she rasped out. “He was… He was so close. He was right there. I knew he was alive. Our hands… our hands were almost touching. Now it’s like I… God, it’s like I can’t feel him anymore… Don’t look at me like that.”

Before you even had the time to feel confused about what she was talking about and who she was talking to, you heard a familiar voice that you had hoped to never hear again.

“Like what?”

“Like how everybody is looking at me. Like I’m out of my damn mind!”

“Hey… You’re not gonna like this but I think you need to seriously consider the possibility that all this… It’s in your head.”

“I can’t believe you had the audacity to show up,” you snarled as you strolled further into the house, causing your parents to snap their heads to look at you.

“Y/N,” your mom stood up immediately and rushed to your side, pulling you in a tight hug. “Where have you been all day, sweetie? I got worried,” she sniffed as she looked at you, cupping your cheek and running a finger over the band-aid there.

“I’ve been with Hopper. We, uh…” you hesitated, your eyes darting between her and your father, as your hand went to grasp hers. “I’ll tell you all about it later, ok?”

“Hey, kid,” your moment was interrupted by the man approaching you and your soft expression morphed into an angry glare.

“Ma… I thought you threw away the trash,” you grumbled and your father let out a huff.

“Don’t speak to me like that, kiddo.”

“Or what? What are you gonna do? Hit me?” you challenged and your mother shut her eyes in despair, lips tightening. “And don’t call me ‘kiddo’. You don’t have that right,” you rushed past him as you went to your room and opened one of the drawers, pulling out a flashlight before heading out and towards the front door again.

“W-where are you going?” asked Joyce incredulously and you spun to face her.

“I dropped my bag in the forest, not far away from Hopper’s place. I’m going to go take it. If he’s still here by the time I come back, I’m gonna go sleep at a friend,” you explained as you quickly jogged out of the house, not giving your mom a chance to catch up with you and stop you. The plan was to go look for your bag tomorrow at sunrise and then go back home to wait for Hopper’s return before the funeral.

 At least you hoped and prayed that he would return.

But with your father in the picture, you didn’t want to stay at the house at all.

It took you a while.

You had to go all the way to the bottom of the quarry and trace your steps but eventually, you had reached the place where you had collapsed and gotten high to the point of passing out. You frowned as you bent to pick up your bag, rummaging through it to check if all your belongings were in there, just in case.

Everything was intact.

Good. At least one thing was ok in your life. It was small and insignificant but it was something.

“Fuck,” you muttered as you looked at your watch, noticing it was around midnight. You had been out here for a couple of hours.

Suddenly, the atmosphere turned much eerier than you gave it credit for. You got chills all over your body and the horrible, gnawing sensation you had gotten the night Will had disappeared returned full force. You froze as you heard growling not too far away from you and rushed to turn off the flashlight, pressing your back against the tree. There was some shuffling and shortly after a deer came out of the bushes. You let out a sigh, body relaxing slightly.

But then something whizzed past your hiding place and jumped on the animal, tackling it on the ground. You gasped, hands flying to cover your mouth in an instant in order to stifle the noise. You were able to make out the shape of the creature. It looked nothing like an animal even if the way it tore off the deer’s flesh resembled a carnivore. If anything, it looked more like a disfigured human with no face. You tried to breathe as quietly as possible so as to not alert the creature. It didn’t have a face. It didn’t have eyes. But that didn’t mean it couldn’t hear you.

‘Probably the lack of some senses is compensated by the strength of others, like its ears.’ You thought to yourself as you breathed shakily into your palms.

Just like it came, it was gone, dragging the deer with it. To where you had no idea and you weren’t going to stick around to find out. You grabbed your bag and ran for it, not stopping for a second. You kept looking over your shoulder, thinking the monster would suddenly jump out from behind a bush or a tree and tackle you. You felt like it was watching you. Like it was just playing with you. Maybe it was just your imagination. Maybe it was just all in your head. But maybe it was real and this was just the creepiest “tag, you’re it” game you’ve ever played.

You ran and ran and ran until you reached your house, halting in front of it and giving the perimeter a scout with your eyes, hoping that you wouldn’t see the monster. When you didn’t see or hear anything, you let out the breath you were holding which sent you into a coughing fit. Only now did you feel the burning in your lungs.

After taking a couple of deep breaths and a moment to rest and calm down, the burning sensation was chased away and you could finally breathe normally. You silently entered home and cursed under your breath when you saw your father sprawled on the couch. You really wanted to leave and keep true to your threat of sleeping at a friend but you were so absolutely scared of going outside in the dark, not to mention exhausted, that you just wanted to curl under the covers and sleep it all off. But first, you needed a nice, long shower.

The shower helped your body relax. The tension was gone and replaced by calmness washing over you as you let the body wash and the hot water do their wonders. The pleasant sweet scent of [favorite scent] was welcomed after you had spent the past half an hour being able to smell only one thing – fear.

And it was definitely one of the most suffocating things you had the misfortune of exploring.

After drying your hair and throwing on some loose cotton pants and a t-shirt, you were ready to pass out. But your room seemed too big, dark, and empty. You did not have the courage to sleep here all alone. It was silly and you knew it. You were supposed to be braver. But sometimes you couldn’t stop fear from overtaking you and turning you into its prey. In such moments, all you needed was your family. So you didn’t hesitate to rush to your brother’s room, quietly opening the door and slithering in. You tiptoed to his bed and gently slid under the covers. He shifted a bit and turned around to face you.

“Did I wake you up?” you whispered guiltily and he shook his head.

“I wasn’t exactly asleep.”

The two of you lay in silence for a while until you decided to break it.

“I um… have something to tell you,” he propped himself up on one elbow in order to show he was all ears and you bit your lip as you tried recounting everything that happened. “Remember how me and mom saw that… thing in here a while back? And then she saw it again yesterday and judging by the hole in the wall, maybe she saw it today too?” you asked and he nodded. “Well… I was out in the forest until now and I saw it again,” you revealed and even in the dark you could see his eyes widening and filling with panic.

“Oh my God… Are you all right? I-it didn’t do anything to you, right?” he asked frantically and you sat up to grasp his shoulders and calm him down.

“I’m fine! It didn’t notice me. Then I ran when it went away.”

“W-what was it doing there?”

“Hunting? It took down a deer, tore it apart. I couldn’t very well see how because it had its back turned on me for the majority of the time. But the sounds of it all… Gosh, it was scary as hell,” you uttered and he engulfed your form in his arms. “I didn’t dare make a sound or move because I was too afraid it was going to hear me and come for me. I didn’t stop running after it left. I thought I would either c-choke to death or be torn to p-pieces. It was so scary,” you whined and his hold on you tightened.

“This thing is never going to hurt you, ok? Not while I’m around. I promise,” he muttered firmly in your hair and you nodded, burying yourself in his chest as you tried to calm down. “C’mon… try and get some sleep,” he whispered as he laid you back down and pulled the covers over you.

“I’ll be right here.”

“So, you and Nancy saw the same creature on the picture of Barb you had taken? And Nancy saw it near Steve’s house when she went to investigate?” you asked Jonathan as you were rummaging through your wardrobe for some black clothes and he nodded.

It was very early in the morning and nobody had woken up yet except you and Jonathan. You two were barely able to sleep for a couple of hours before waking up with the sunrise. Even if they were a couple of hours, it helped make you feel a bit better, considering you barely slept ever since Will’s disappearance. If you hadn’t passed out and slept for a whole night thanks to the drugs, you didn’t know how you could’ve properly operated now.

“I was thinking of going to investigate today. I’ll tell Nancy after the, uh… the funeral. I feel like she’d want to join me,” explained the boy and you bit your lip.

“Well, I’ll come with you. I suggest we get some weapons and practice shooting before going. We can’t go out there unprotected,” you offered.

“And you and Hopper went to the morgue to check the body? It really was a fake?” he asked quietly, hoping to hear your confirmation yet again.

You had told him about the fake body because you needed him on your side. You needed to team up in order to go against all this. And if Hopper didn’t return… then you really would need all the help you could get. So you told Jonathan and you had faith that he would keep it together and be able to help you.

Your mother on the other hand was a totally different story. You wanted to tell her so she could calm down but you were sure this would send her into another frenzy. Not to mention if she learned what you and your brother were planning on doing, she’d completely freak out and try to stop you. You were torn.

“Yes… it was a fake…”

Shortly after, you put on some black jeans, a black turtleneck and tied your hair in a ponytail before heading into the kitchen with Jonathan following you. He noticed the quick sneer you threw your father’s way and frowned. He didn’t want Lonnie here either. He hated him as much as you did. But Jonathan has always been more on the meek side. He wasn’t as expressive as you were about things. His hatred could be seen simmering within his eyes and in the twitching of his hands while in your case it was shown through glares, sneers, and sometimes curse words or sass.

He couldn’t blame you for not being able to hold back when it came to show your hatred for the man. You’ve experienced his abuse firsthand.

Not only would he get drunk and cheat on your mother but sometimes, when their arguments became too much, he would raise a hand to her. Rarely, but he’d still do it.

You have always done your best when it came to protecting Jonathan and Will, ushering them to hide in your room, the three of you staying there under the covers pretending it was a tent and you were outside camping and talking to each other, listening to loud music, trying to drown out the shouting. Many times you had tried being brave. When Lonnie would begin shouting at the boys for literally no reason, you would usher them into a room and begin arguing with Lonnie, going chest to chest. You always shifted his attention from the boys to you. You would insult him and belittle him, turning yourself into the main target so he could focus his anger and abuse on you instead. It was your duty as the oldest sibling. Most of the time, this would happen when your mother was at work. When she was present, what Lonnie did was neglect and ignore you. When he was alone with you, his disgusting side would show. On a couple of occasions, he’d even hit you. You had to beg Jonathan and Will not to tell anything to your mother because you didn’t want to worry her. You used to cover your bruised cheeks with foundation and your split lip with dark red lipstick.

Then one day, almost two years ago, things got way out of control. He and Joyce had gotten into a super bad argument. You and the boys had rushed into Will’s room, deciding to play music to drown out the shouting. But this had not given you peace of mind. You had been so tired of dealing with your father’s abuse you had wanted to put an end to everything. You had wanted your mother to finally divorce him.

The boys had been sitting on the bed, talking about funny things while listening to Will’s favorite song. You had your back glued to the door, arms crossed and one leg propped against it as you tried to listen to the shouting match through the music. Jonathan had given you a few signs to sit with them on the bed and join in on the storytelling in order to better distract Will. But something inside you had snapped that day. You couldn’t stand any of this any longer.

You had decided to go intervene in your parents’ argument. You had screamed out everything you thought and felt about the man and demanded they got a divorce. You had even pushed him away from your mother because he had been standing way too close for comfort. He had gotten so furious he backhanded you. The hit had been so hard it rattled your entire skull and sent you to the ground where you had hit your head one more time, knocking you out cold. Joyce had been absolutely outraged. Jonathan and Will who had been watching from behind a half-open door had immediately rushed to your side. Joyce had begun hitting Lonnie’s chest and screaming at him, joined by Jonathan shortly after, the two of them successfully managing to kick the man out of the house. In the meantime, Will had been crying and shaking as he tried to wake you up.

You had woken up sometime later with the most shattering headache ever, a burning cheek, and a split lip. Your bruises had taken a whole week to heal and your concussion had taken almost sixteen days to get rid of. You had had to struggle with dizziness, nausea, headaches, blurry vision, exhaustion, and sensitivity to light for some time and your family had to take care of you as if you were a baby and not the oldest sibling. You had never felt more vulnerable and useless.

Needless to say, your mother had contacted Hopper about it and he had acted out a restricting order. Lonnie couldn’t come close to any of you even after he tried apologizing many times after the incident. Your mother had filed for divorce. This incident had been the last straw. She easily had been able to take custody of all the children which eventually caused Lonnie to move out of town for good.

“What are you doing?” asked Jonathan quietly as he watched you open the fridge and take out different products.

“I’ll just make some sandwiches for the kids.”

“The kids? Are you thinking of going to the Wheelers?”

“Yepp.”

“Why?”

“I just have something to discuss with them,” you replied reservedly as you expertly cut tomatoes and ham. Your brother decided not to press you any further and silently came to help you make a couple of sandwiches.

“You’ll come to the funeral, right?” he asked hesitantly and you paused in your movements before nodding and resuming. “Ok… ok,” sighed the boy. “I know that this is a fake body that we’re burying but… we have to keep appearances as you said, right?”

“Right… Do me a favor and… don’t tell mom about the fake body yet. She’s probably going to freak out and refuse to have the funeral and that will draw attention on us. Bad attention,” you whispered as you wrapped each sandwich in a napkin before shoving them in a bag. “We have to keep playing their game, don’t we?” you gave him a tight smile before pecking his cheek and going to grab your black leather jacket, hurriedly leaving the house.

“Y/N?” Mike’s surprised voice greeted you as he opened the door. “W-what are you doing here? The funeral is in two hours!”

“I just want to talk to you, kids. You need to know some stuff that I learned,” you informed him and he let you in, leading you down to the basement where Eleven was sitting on the couch.

“Y/N,” she smiled when her eyes landed on you and you grinned, sitting next to her and giving her a side hug with your free arm which she shyly returned.

“I bring food alongside the news,” you lifted the fabric bag before placing it on the coffee table in front of you and digging out sandwiches for each of you.

“Oh, I love your sandwiches! I swear everyone always go to the diner you work at just so they can get your sandwiches and burgers!” exclaimed Mike as he quickly bit into the food and you smiled.

“I’m glad so many people ended up liking them. You gotta thank Amy for letting me integrate some of my recipes. The secret is all about the sauces,” you winked as you happily watched the children eat, smile growing when Eleven muttered ‘Delicious’ as she ate. “But I’m not here to talk about my recipes. I’m here to talk about Will. Are Dustin and Lucas coming? I don’t really wish to repeat the story.”

“Yeah, they should come any time now.”

Shortly after Mike had spoken out the words, the doorbell had rung and the two boys had joined you in the basement.

You told them all about your discovery yesterday. About the interrogation you and Hopper did, about his suspicions that higher-ups were involved in this, about Will’s fake body, and most importantly about the monster you had encountered in the forest last night. They had been quite terrified about the turn of events but showed bravery nonetheless. They, in turn, told you about all conclusions and suspicions they had formed about the whole situation and about sneaking Eleven into the school and having her use the ham radio to channel Will. And now they had gotten the idea of speaking to Mr. Clarke and ask for information about the Upside Down.

An hour and a half had passed as quickly as someone snapping their fingers and Mike had to go get ready for the funeral, leaving you four at the basement. Dustin and Lucas decided to occupy themselves with some game, leaving you and Eleven sitting in silence.

“You know, if you ever get tired of the boys you can always come to me. We can spend some time together, go pick pretty clothes, do each other’s hair; that kinda stuff. Just have fun, us girls,” you smiled at her and she returned it as she reached to grasp a strand of your hair, then moved her hand to your face and softly traced the lines of your features before quickly withdrawing her hand.

“Pretty,” she muttered and you gave her a big smile as you did the same, finger tracing the side of her face and bopping her on the nose before you withdrew it.

“Pretty,” you said and she smiled before closing in on herself again. You pitied the poor girl. It was obvious that she didn’t have a normal childhood and was traumatized beyond belief. She couldn’t even speak properly. You couldn’t even fathom what kind of disgusting people would keep a child and abuse it and prevent it from learning. You wanted to do anything in your power to protect her and shower her with the love and care she needed and deserved.

Bad people.

You wondered if these bad people were the same who fucked up with the monster and got Will into this mess. Who else could it have been?

“Say… are the bad people you were talking about the same who created this whole mess?” you asked after a while and she hesitated for quite some time before nodding. “Who are they? The NSA? The Department of Energy?” she shook her head. “Was it the scientists? From Hawkins Lab?” you whispered and her eyes snapped to look at you, filling with fear.

Your face fell.

“Don’t tell,” she whispered as her eyes shifted to look at Dustin and Lucas who were busy laughing about something and you nodded in understanding.

If the boys knew that the lab was for real responsible for this whole mess, they would definitely go straight there in a reckless attempt to investigate. You really didn’t need anyone else to follow in Hopper’s footsteps. Especially children. It was probably better if they stuck with the “suspicions that higher-ups were involved” narrative for now. Eleven probably thought the same which is why she hasn’t told the boys about her entanglement with the lab yet.  

“It’s time to go!” came Karen’s voice, interrupting your train of thought.

You gave Eleven a tight hug, rubbing her back soothingly.

“We are going to fix this… I promise.”

You went to the funeral.

Even though there were a couple of moments when you had hesitated.

You didn’t approach the crowd of people standing in front of the open grave and the casket. You stood far away from them all, not caring what any of them would think. To be fair they would probably think you were too upset and in denial or something. All you could focus on now was the Hawkins Lab, Eleven, the monster, and Hopper.

Gosh, Hopper. You had forgotten about him for some time there. He didn’t call. He didn’t show up at the funeral either. Heavy worry was nestling itself in the pit of your stomach. You already wished for this farce of a funeral to end so you could get in your car and go hunt that monster and find your brother. A familiar figure entered your vision, interrupting your thoughts.

“Hey,” greeted Steve awkwardly and you gave him a small smile.

“Hi.”

He came to stand in front of you and looked at his feet, seemingly gathering some courage in order to properly face you.

“I, uh… I’m really sorry… about the camera incident,” he finally uttered as he lifted his gaze and locked it with yours. “I acted way out of line. You were right that the issue could’ve been handled in a peaceful way instead of with humiliation and breaking things,” he admitted and you gave him a tired, close-eyed smile.

“It’s all right, Steve. I know you were just being overprotective and jumping to action before thinking with your brain, as you always do. You just have to work on that-”

“I know! I will… I will,” he looked bashfully at the ground.

“I’m not the only one who you should be apologizing to, though,” you sighed as you nodded your head in the direction of your brother.

“Yeah… I plan on doing that.”

The two of you sat in silence for a while as you observed the people standing up to leave and throw roses into the gaping hole in the earth.

“I’m sorry about your brother,” murmured Steve and you shook your head.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for… That’s life for you,” you whispered as you looked down at your foot that was drawing patterns into the dirt.

Suddenly, you felt strong arms engulf your body, startling you.

“Don’t bullshit me… you loved that boy more than anything. Just… admit that you miss him and that you wish he was here. Cry, scream, anything. Don’t lock yourself off like that,” he muttered in your hair and you sighed as you rested your chin on his shoulder, arms going to grasp at his sweatshirt.

“I do miss him,” you whispered and he hummed.

You stayed like this for some time.

You could feel he was about to say something when your eyes landed on Mike, Dustin and Lucas, following Mr. Clarke.

“Excuse me, Steve, I gotta go,” you apologized as you broke the hug and hurried to leave his side and follow the boys, leaving him to stand there in utter confusion.

“We have questions… A lot of questions,” you heard Mike say to Mr. Clarke after you entered the building and noticed them standing not far away from you. You briskly walked towards them as they headed for a nearby table to sit at.

“Y/N,” greeted Mr. Clarke as he stood up to face you. “My condolences,” he offered his hand and you politely shook it.

“Thank you very much. I hope you don’t mind me joining you? I gotta look after them,” you smiled and he nodded, pointing at a free seat next to Lucas.

“So, you know how in Cosmos, Carl Sagan talks about other dimensions?” Mike didn’t beat around the bush and asked as soon as all of you gathered around the table. “Like, beyond our world?”  

“Yeah, sure. Theoretically.”

“Right, theoretically!”

“So, theoretically… How do we travel there?” inquired Lucas.

“You guys have been thinking about Hugh Everett’s Many-Worlds interpretation, haven’t you? Y/N, was it you who got them into it? I remember you being into that kind of material at one point,” lifted a brow the teacher and you chuckled.

“Well, you know me. I’m very much into Iron Man, have been since I was a kid, so there were a couple of times when I dived into engineering and physics. Then I jumped into the different subdivisions like nuclear physics, relativity, quantum mechanics,” you shrugged and the boys gaped at you in what you assumed was awestruck admiration. “But you know, I feel like history, archeology, anthropology, languages, and that kinda jazz is more my thing,” you cleared your throat and shifted in your seat, crossing your legs. “So what was Everett’s Many-Worlds interpretation about? It was something about parallel worlds? Parallel dimensions?” you tilted your head as you crossed your arms, rocking lightly in the chair as you picked your brain so you could remember what you had read about this.

“Yeah, exactly! It’s about parallel universes. He theorizes that there are parallels that exist, just like our world, but different infinite variations of it,” he explained. “Which means there’s a world out there where none of this tragic stuff ever happened.”

“Yeah, that’s not what we’re talking about.”

“We were thinking of more of an evil dimension, like the Vale of Shadows,” intervened Dustin. “You know the Vale of Shadows?”

“An echo of the Material Plane where necrotic and shadow magic-“

“Yeah, exactly! If that did exist, a place like the Vale of Shadows, how would we travel there?” blurted out Mike and the teacher sank into a moment of deep thought before fishing out a paper plate and plucking a pen out of his pocket.

“Well… Picture an acrobat standing on a tightrope,” he described. “Now, the tightrope is our dimension. And our dimension has rules. You can move forwards or backward… But what if right next to our acrobat, there is a flea? Now, the flea can also travel back and forth, just like the acrobat. But here’s when things get really interesting. The flea can also travel this way-” he showcased. “-along the side of the rope. He can even go underneath the rope.”

“Upside down,” all of you muttered simultaneously and the man nodded with a smile.

“Exactly!”

“Ok, so we have these parallel worlds and one of them is obviously more flexible than the other. They are the flea, we are the acrobat. We can’t go to the… Upside Down… The question is, how is a connection made between the worlds that allow mingling to occur? That allows the flea to reach the acrobat? Is it like some sort of a tunnel? A wormhole? A… a gate?” you tried putting your thoughts into words and Mr. Clarke hummed.

“Well, you are correct. It would be impossible for us to travel to this place. Now, I don’t know why you’d suggest that the flea could be able to travel to here because that’s also impossible-“

“Let’s say it’s just a theory,” you intercepted.

“But let’s say that there is a way to form such a connection between the worlds that will allow the flea to travel to the acrobat and the other way round. You’d have to create a massive amount of energy. More than what humans are currently capable of creating, mind you, to open up some kind of tear in time and space. And then,” he folded the paper plate and pierced it with his pen. “You create the doorway.”

“A gate,” voiced Dustin and Mr. Clarke nodded.

“Yeah… but as you said, this is only…”

“Theoretical!”

“I have another thing to ask,” you pondered. “Let’s say that, as I already theorized, a connection – a gate – already exists. How do we… recognize it? How do we find it?”

“Well, I think if such a gate existed, we’d already know. It would disrupt gravity, the magnetic field, our environment. Heck, it might even swallow us up whole,” the last sentence sent you into a stupor.

This whole time, Will has been stuck in a whole other dimension. Another dimension right next to yours that you didn’t know how to access. Obviously, there was a gate. But that gate could be anywhere. It could have opened in the corner of some abandoned building for all you knew. It would take you days to search every nook and cranny in Hawkins, not to mention the outskirts and the forests. Days that could very well be Will’s last days alive because he was all alone in there, being hunted by a monster.

“Y/N!” someone snapped their fingers in front of your face, jerking you out of your zoned-out state.

“Are you all right?” asked Lucas and you gulped, nodding.

“Yeah… yeah, I’m… fine… I need to… go find my brother,” you smiled tightly as you stood up and excused yourself. “Thanks for coming, Mr. Clarke. And thanks for the explanation.”

The more you thought about where the gate could be located as you hurried to reach your car, the more you began realizing some things. For example, the monster took Barbara from Steve’s backyard. The following day, Nancy saw it nearby Steve’s house. Last night it appeared in the forest area near your house which wasn’t that far away from the Harrington’s residence. It had appeared in your house three times now too. And Will… it must have snatched Will right from the shed back home. There was a certain perimeter that the monster roamed through which meant the gate was somewhere in that forest area.

If this theory turned out to be true, that would save you a couple of days worth of searching. You were sure that Jonathan and Nancy would have cracked this by now and you were right. You bumped into them on your way to your car and Jonathan had explained to you exactly what you had been thinking about.

“It’s a good thing that we all share the same brain cell,” you joked and the two smiled. “So, you found a weapon?”

“Yeah,” he showed you the gun and you nodded in approval.

“Alright, I’ll go back home and grab the one we have. We’re gonna need more than one. Then I’ll come find you, ok? Take this,” you instructed your brother as you pulled a walkie-talkie out of your bag and shoved it into his hands. “The kids actually have some brilliant ideas, you know? They easily communicate with those even if they are far away from one another. I’ll be able to find you quickly.”

Earlier this morning you had fished Will’s walkie-talkie from underneath his bed because you had the feeling that you would need a little help with communication. And now your intuition proved to have been correct. You gave Jonathan Will’s walkie-talkie while you kept your own in your bag.

You had gotten one back when the kids got obsessed with them because Will had insisted you have one as well. You had to admit it was actually quite ingenious because you were able to communicate even if you were far away from each other. It was better than a phone because it was just as effective and not as expensive. And gods, mobile phones were extremely expensive – something only rich people could afford.

“See you out there, sis.”

“See you.”

A month ago

“Kid? What are you doing here?” asked Hopper with a tone and expression that were a mixture of curiosity and a tinge of worry.

“I need a… I need a favor,” you fidgeted as you looked at your feet. “Do you think you can… teach me how to shoot a gun?”

“Where is this coming from?” he asked gently as he came to stand in front of you. “Hey?” he put a hand on your shoulder and squeezed in order to grab your attention, lowering himself a bit so he can get a better look at your face once you finally lifted it to meet his. “I know it’s a dumb question but… is everything alright?” 

“It’s just that… The defense techniques and the combat you taught me are useful… when I’m against one or two people… not four,” you muttered and he shut his eyes in anguish, letting out a long sigh. “I need to be able to protect myself better; and my family if need be.”

“You’re under eighteen. You don’t have the right to own a weapon yet,” he drawled tiredly.

“That didn’t stop my fa… Lonnie, from buying one for me,” you crossed your arms as your foot kicked an invisible pebble.

“Yeah, ‘cause he is a psychopath,” groaned the man and you let out a small smile.

“It’s not like I’m gonna carry a weapon with me whenever I go. I know it’s illegal. I just… I just want to learn. I want to have the knowledge…just in case. Besides…I’ll be eighteen soon anyways.”

 “Alright… fine…” he relented. “But just. a little. practice…ok? You’re not gonna be using any weapons outside of that. We’re gonna set some rules and you’re gonna follow them if you want to learn,” he waved a finger and you nodded at his ultimatums.

“Thanks; old man.”

BANG!

“Whoa… didn’t know you could shoot,” praised Jonathan and you smirked. You couldn’t wait to rub it in Hopper’s face. He hadn’t been hard to convince to teach you per se, but he had been so strict during the couple of practices you had and he’d made sure to always remind you of the rules and lecture you. You weren’t an idiot. You understood very well what you could and couldn’t do. You had self-control and were able to respect the set boundaries and law, yet he treated you like a child.

You wanted to kill the damn monster, throw it at his feet and say ‘See? I told you those skills would come in handy.’ But you weren’t sure if you’d be able to do that. You weren’t sure because he might not even be alive. You weren’t sure because you might end up dead on this little monster-hunting trip you were preparing to set out on.

BANG!

Another shot was fired, pulling you out of your rotten with worry thoughts.

“You’re getting better and better, Nancy. You’re definitely a natural,” you complimented and she smiled bashfully.

Only your poor brother seemed to struggle with shooting. But that was all right. As long as you had two people on the team who could be the offense, it was good if there was someone who was the defense and the lookout.

“I think it’s time we get going. Let’s not waste daylight.”

But you had ended up wasting the daylight. You had spent hours looking throughout the forest, hoping to find the gate, but you had come out empty-handed. You had to listen to Jonathan and Nancy’s talking for most of the time, cringing when your brother had begun talking about the picture and describing what he had seen in Nancy who had in turn gotten defensive and the two of them deflated, leaving an awkward feeling to creep in the atmosphere of your group.

“Can you stop?” asked your brother as he pulled the cigarette out of your mouth, making you frown.

“What’s the big deal? You know that I smoke.”

“But never this much. You’re practically leaving a trail of cigarette butts.”

“Well, if we get lost or snatched by the monster into its world, at least people will be able to track us down thanks to my trail of crumbs,” you sassed. “So, don’t be a sourpuss, Hansel! Trust the process!” you lightly elbowed his side in an attempt to diffuse the tension and worry that had engulfed your group after the falling of the night. Not that you hadn’t been tense and worried when you had set on this journey but the darkness made it all the eerier and the fear that had suffocated you last night began creeping back in bit by bit.  

“It’s not funny,” he berated you grumpily and you just ruffled his hair before walking ahead of him, the three of you moving in silence for a couple of minutes before you heard Nancy and Jonathan stop. “What, are you tired?” asked the boy and you turned to look at them in confusion.

“Shut up,” hushed him Nancy as she looked around.

“What?”

“I heard something.”

You strained your ears and you really did catch a distant sound that was similar to wailing. The three of you followed it and shortly after you stumbled upon a wounded deer.

“Oh, God,” whispered the girl as she and Jonathan got closer to the body, illuminating it with their flashlights. But this scenario was too familiar to you. Your body shuddered and you immediately pulled out your gun, head turning left and right sharply, scouting the perimeter for threats.

“It’s been hit by a car… We can’t just leave it,” Nancy’s voice made you snap your head in their direction, eyes widening when you saw they had kneeled right next to the deer, touching it.

“You idiots!” you hissed as you rushed to their side, grabbing Jonathan by the collar of his jacket and Nancy by her arm, pulling them up and dragging them away. “Do you have a death wish!?”

“W-what are you talking about?”

“Just stay quiet and move away!” you whisper shouted as you dragged them further away from the body, the three of you gluing yourselves to the trees and waiting in silence. You could see Nancy wanted to say something but before she had the chance to open her mouth, the deer squealed as something snatched her away, making you all jump in fright and look at one another.

“As I said… hunting!” you whispered snippily and the others gulped nervously.

The three cautiously began following the trail of blood and bones, hoping to find the body and possibly the monster but it was nowhere to be found.

“Where did it go?”

“I don’t know… Do you see any more blood?”

“No…”

Jonathan went to look in one direction, Nancy went to check another, and you were left standing in the middle, not knowing who to follow. You weren’t supposed to separate. You had to stick together. You cursed under your breath as you decided to follow Nancy. A minute or so later you found her kneeling at the base of a tree and you approached her with a confused frown.

“What are you doing?” you asked as you joined her on the ground and your eyes widened when they landed on the opening in the tree, covered in what seemed to be vines and slime. The sound of distant growling sent shivers down your spine. “You found it,” you whispered. “You found the gate! Still think I’m crazy?” you asked with raised eyebrows and she gave you an apologetic smile.

While you three had roamed the forest earlier, you had caught up Nancy and Jonathan on what you believed about parallel worlds and how you thought that the monster came from one and that it had most possibly dragged Will and Barb in there. They had been skeptical about it and you couldn’t really blame them but it always felt good when people got the proof they wanted and you got to tell them ‘I told you so’.

Before you could say anything, Nancy crawled closer to the gate and thrust her arm past the barrier.

“What are you doing?” you snapped in panic.

“I’m going in-“

“You think I’m gonna let you go in an unknown place alone?” you tsk-ed as you grabbed her arm and pulled her away. “I’m not letting you take such a risk… If you want to go in, do it. But I’m going in first and making sure it’s safe… Or as safe as it could be considering there’s probably a monster in there,” you sighed as you took her place, not giving her a chance to protest, and pushed through the slimy membrane seemingly without hesitation and with full on bravery on the outside but with rapidly beating heart and panic on the inside.

To say it was disgusting as your whole body passed through unknown substances was the understatement of the century.

You were glad when it was finally over and you crawled out of the constrictive tunnel. You were quick to stand up and look around. For a second you thought you were tripping because this place was the absolutely same as the one you came from. It was the same forest with the only difference being that it was darker, eerier, with more blue tones and lots of what seemed to be slimy vines and cobwebs covering the whole area. There were also some kind of particles floating around, falling like snow, which unnerved you.

You were about to give Nancy a signal that she could join you but when you turned around you saw her already crawling out of the hole and standing up, looking around with the same confusion as you. She was about to say something but you raised a finger to your mouth, signaling her to be quiet, and the two began moving and exploring the place.     

Your trek didn’t last long as a sharp sound made you whirl and point your flashlights at the source. You gaped in shock as you saw the back of the monster too busy munching on its prey to notice you… yet. Memories from last night invaded your brain and you had to clench your hand into a fist in order to stop the shaking. Your flashlights began flickering which only added to the scary situation you were stuck in. Nancy took a couple of steps back and you were about to follow her example when you heard her step on something, the sound of squelching echoing all around. The monster reeled its head in your direction and roared.

Your body ran cold.

You hadn’t been able to properly see how it had torn the deer last night. You had wondered how it was able to do it when you hadn’t seen a mouth. But now you got the explanation you needed. Its whole head was just a gigantic mouth that resembled a flower as it opened. It was one of the most disturbing things you have seen.

“Jonathan!” screeched Nancy as she dropped the flashlight and began running. You cursed as your eyes snapped between the gate and her retreating form and you quickly followed after her, cursing again as you began losing sight of her, her silhouette disappearing between the multiple trees.

She kept screaming Jonathan’s name which to an extent helped you locate her but you also wanted to scold her for all the screaming because if you could locate her thanks to it, then the monster surely could as well. She was drawing all the attention onto herself and she was going to end up dead because of it.

You breathed heavily as you ran, eyes squinting in the dark as you tried to find her. When you finally did, you let out a sharp relieved exhale and you forced your legs to run faster. She shrieked when you grabbed her arm and you clasped a hand over her mouth before shoving her body against a tree, keeping her and yourself very still as you heard the monster come closer and stop near you on the other side of the tree. You heard it stroll slowly as it tried to figure out where you had hidden. You steadied your ragged breathing and pinned Nancy with a look, warning her to be quiet as you waited for the monster to go away.

When it did, you let go of her and nodded with your head in the direction of the gate. It wasn’t very far and you could hear your brother calling your names on the other side. You sprinted towards the tree and threw yourselves on the ground. You didn’t hesitate to push Nancy forward, practically shoving her into the tunnel and pushing her into Jonathan’s waiting arms on the other side. Your head snapped to look behind you as you heard the growling and screeching of the monster sounding too close for comfort. When you saw that Nancy had fully passed, you quickly followed after her. You have never crawled that fast in your life and you have never been this relieved to be back in the familiar forest.

“Oh, God,” muttered Jonathan shakily as you crawled out and he quickly pulled you far away from the gate and into his arms, hugging you tightly. “Don’t you ever do that!” he snapped wobbly and you nodded against his shoulder as you let out shuddering breaths and tried to calm down, the three of you hugging each other tightly as if afraid someone was going to disappear.  

Now you knew what the animals felt like when hunters like your father mercilessly chased them for the thrill of the kill.  

[apomaro-mellow]

Steve’s Disappearance Part 2

Eddie is pacing about the living room, debating whether it’s better to get takeout from Lucy’s favorite place or attempt to make her favorite meal. He’d never managed to do it right since Steve’s disappearance but maybe tonight was the night.

The phone rings and it’s Lucy. She’s not at Noah’s anymore but at Ashley’s, having an impromptu sleepover. He should’ve asked to speak to Ashley’s parents, make sure his daughter wasn’t imposing but he knew she never would. He should’ve made her come home anyway because they had things to discuss. But Eddie was clinging to any sense of normalcy and if his kid wanted a spontaneous sleepover then by all means. It wasn’t like the funeral was happening tomorrow.

Lucy was indeed over Ashley’s house and they were using her mom’s computer to look up any news from Hawkins that involved gang activity.

“There’s nothing!”

“So it’s like Noah said? Maybe they were at a weird costume party?”

Not satisfied, Lucy broadened her search for anything of note happening in Hawkins. The way her dads had talked about it, it was like a one-horse town. If something big went down, it’d make the news.

There was something about a mall burning down, that seemed unrelated. A laboratory admitting involvement with the accidental death of a teenager, and a slew of gruesome murders. That was her father on the front cover.

“Holy shit”, Lucy gasped.

Ashley shushed her.

He had joked about being accused of murder for years. It was always a joke! A joke! But there it was in black and white. He was eventually found innocent but Lucy understood now why he never wanted to go back.

“This is it. Someone had beef with my dad because of the murders he was suspected of. So they went took out my other dad as revenge.”

“I guess”, Ashley said. “But what are we supposed to do?”

“I tell my dad I know everything. And that I can help with the investigation now.”

“You think he’s gonna let you solve a murder? Not even your dad is that cool.”

Lucy knew she was right. And lately, she could feel her freedom slowly shrinking. Like he was afraid of something. “What do you got for bus money?”

“Barely anything and I’m not getting on a grubby bus this late. It’s like you never watched those stranger danger PSAs.”

Lucy did. She just found it ridiculous that EVERY adult you didn’t know was out to get you and yet somehow most of them looked like Uncle Wayne.

“Then we gotta call in a favor.”

Honestly, this person wasn’t even her first pick. The first was Uncle Dusty who indulged her so much he helped her make an actual rocket for the science fair. The fire had been worth it. But he lived out in Utah.

“Hey, Brittney.”

“Luce? It’s like 9 pm. Oh god was I supposed to babysit you tonight? Shit!”

“No, no, I just, I just wanted to talk, maybe ask you something.”

“Oh god. Here it comes. I’ve been waiting for this day. Lucy, you’re so strong but you shouldn’t bottle up your emotions like you’ve been doing and I want you to know that I’m here to help you through your fath-”

Lucy stops Brittney’s rambling. She didn’t call to talk about that. She called to ask her favorite babysitter to drive her and her friend an hour out to Hawkins. Now that she thought about it, it was odd her parents didn’t move farther away, if they had such a dark past there.

Brittney is hesitant, it doesn’t seem like a good idea to drive two preteens past dark to a town she’s never been in and the deal doesn’t sweeten anymore when Lucy says they’ve gotta get Noah too.

“Look, I’ll convince my dad to pay you extra each time.”

“.....I don’t know....”

Ashley takes the phone and says she’ll convince her 9 months pregnant mother to take her on as a babysitter when the infant arrives. Considering how loaded the family is, Brittney snaps at the chance. And so Lucy and Ashley pretend to turn in and sneak out, right to Brittney’s car. After picking up Noah they’re on their way to solve the mystery.

Eddie is watching a late night movie, feeling the typical bout of loneliness creep in and considering getting a pet when the phone rings for the third time that night.

“I must be Mr. Popularity today”, he says when he answers.

“Haha, I’ll ask what that means later but uh, this might be kinda serious, Eddie”, Robin’s voice is trembling as she speaks.

“What’s up?”

She asks if Eddie has seen one of the photos they looked at a couple days ago. The one with the four of them posed up.

“I’ve been looking and looking and it’s so iconic and I don’t have another copy so I was hoping it might’ve fallen under your couch or something cause we were absolutely blitzed that night like it was on the edge of irresponsible and-”

Eddie lets her go on as he searches all through the living room, the only place they would’ve had the picture. But it’s nowhere to be found. He tells Robin as such.

“Ooookay, so there’s an incriminating photo of us floating around. Don’t know what it implies but it can’t be good.”

“Maybe Nancy or Jon took it by accident?”

“Do you think maybe Lucy has it? It’s a pretty cool pic of her dads.”

The thought made his blood run cold. If his daughter ever found out anything about their past without someone to explain the whole thing. What would she think? What would she do?

“What are the odds that she tries figuring out what happened to Steve on her own like it’s a mystery?”

Robin reminded him that his little girl got nearly daily lessons on anti-heteronormativity, how capitalism was killing America, and how pitting marginalize people against each other only served their oppressors.

“Shit.”

“You might have a junior detective, Eddie.”

“Well, she’s not doing any investigating tonight. She’s at a sleep over.”

Robin didn’t say anything and then asked if Eddie knew about it beforehand. He answered no. She asked if he had spoken to the parents. Also no.

“Shitshitshit!”

“That’s what you get for raising a mini-rebel.”

[onstrangerthighs]

I'll Find You (Today, Tomorrow, and Yesterday)

For @billyhargrovebingo

TW: suicidal thoughts

--Chapter One: The Funeral--

He stares anywhere but at the framed picture of a clean-cut Billy Hargrove, dressed in a white button-up shirt, something Steve is sure he wouldn’t have been caught dead wearing. In the photo, Billy’s all teeth, his face pulled taut like a rubber band at its limit. A fake smile if Steve ever saw one.

Did he ever see Billy with a real smile?

Yes. Shirts vs. Skins, that day in gym class. He had worn a tired but cheeky grin, cerulean eyes locked on Steve; a famished lion hungry for a challenge, and then some.

He picks at a loose blue thread— the same shade as his eyes.

Steve’s parents had flown in two days earlier when word reached them about Starcourt. Nothing about what really happened, just the official cover story everyone agreed to tell. The last words Steve spoke before going completely mute were “Billy saved us.”

“That color suits you, son,” his mother said as she straightened his collar, something she hadn’t done since he was ten. They’d actually sat together as a family back then.

He’d looked in the mirror on his way out and couldn’t place why, but he’d gotten a little choked up. Yeah, blue looks good on me.

It looked better on Billy.

“Quite the turn out, huh?” Tommy’s voice is the quietest it’s ever been.

Steve scoffs. School had been canceled so everyone would be able to attend the service, so majority of “grievers” were just happy to get a day off.

“He-uh-liked you.”

The program scrunches up in his tightening grip.

“He asked a bunch of questions, wanted to know all about ‘King Steve’,” Tommy laughs hollowly. “He... really came alive around you.”

A lone tear rebels against Steve’s dry eyes and onto the paper.

“If Billy were here right now, ya know what he’d say?”

You only knew him for a few minutes. Then again, Billy did have this strange effect on people, himself included, where he made such an impression that it was like you’d known him forever. He left you breathless, always wanting more of him.

Tommy goes to hug Steve, but instead settles for a shoulder pat, leaving a space that doesn’t stay empty for long.

Was that what happened when people died? Did they just… get replaced?

As Nancy would say, bullshit. Some holes can never be filled by anyone*.* Billy was a tough act to follow. He wasn’t meant to be replaced. He wasn’t meant to die.

It’s far too sunny for a day like this.

“Max is trying to get her mother out of the bathroom,” El - oh, that’s who’s sitting next to him- says. She holds a tissue box close to her chest and squeezes his fist. “Billy was special to me, too. He was a hero, Steve.”

Look what that got him. He died for a town that didn’t give a shit about him when he was alive. He should be here.

“Sometimes I think he should’ve let the Mind Flayer take me. But that wasn’t who Billy was. He was the hero we all needed, and he never got saved. Mike says I’m one a lot… I don’t think any of us are.”

This girl really is much too wise for her age. If anyone knew the real Billy, it’d be El, who had started calling him her big brother.

“You met him. During basketball. You-” El pauses, looking at him sadly before continuing, “you were one of his happy memories. He didn’t have many.”

If he were alive, maybe I’d be brave enough to tell him he made me happy, too. At least I put a smile on his face, even if it was only for a couple of minutes. It was special to him. Was I-

No. No use in going down that road. If only… I’d known sooner how cruel summer could be to stars in Indiana.

“I’ve got you,” Max assures her wobbly mother as she half-drags her dead weight to their seats. When they pass by Steve, they don’t look at him. Susan smells like she drank an entire liquor store in preparation to face her dead stepson one last time, and when Jonathan leaves his own torn family to offer some help, Max hisses at him, “Help? A little late for that, don’t you think?”

Jonathan opens and closes his mouth, because he really can’t argue otherwise. Neither can Steve. Nancy watches the tense exchange from a distance with haunted eyes.

“We… we didn’t kill him, Steve.” She’d whispered over the phone two nights prior, sounding just as guilty as he felt all the same.

“Yeah? Well, we sure as hell didn’t try to help him, either.”

Before Billy’s coffin is lowered into the ground, everyone gets in line with flowers to lay on it… him. Max goes first, barely holding back tears as she sobs her goodbyes. El abandons Steve’s side to hug Joyce, which is understandable. He’s not exactly the warmest person.

“I can’t do this,” Susan cries loudly, dropping her flower.

“Mom! You promised! You said you would do this for him!” Max pleads, hiccupping.

“None of us should be here.”

“Mom, what are you-”

Susan pulls away from her and kneels down beside the coffin, trembling. “I failed him. He was so young! It’s all my fault! All this damned town’s fault! We killed Billy!”

We killed Billy.

As soon as they arrive home, Steve runs to the bathroom and vomits his breakfast. His parents don’t bother checking on him. They’re probably already gone. Now it’s just him and his guilt. He counts sheep until eventually falling asleep. Every few hours he wakes up screaming for Billy to run. To get back in his Camaro and keep driving.

At 12: 00 am, his own screams scare him awake, and his nailed bat isn’t by his bedside like it usually is.

2: 00 am… he pretty much gives up on getting in the mandatory 8 hours. He hasn’t slept since this whole mess with the Upside Down, when he learned that monsters were real. He stares holes through his ceiling. Billy died not even knowing what the fuck was going on. Why didn’t we tell him? So what if it was supposed to be a secret? He deserved to know.

And yet…

You punched him. Your last words to him were “get out.” You could’ve opened the fridge! You could’ve shown him the creepy ass demo-whatever. You never say the right thing, do you? You’ve wasted words and started fights. So many mistakes.

Oh, and you lied to him about his sister. He looked at you like you were a freak. Now you’re feeling sorry for yourself while he’s seven feet under? Typical.

If I could fix it, trust me, I would!

Gifts won’t bring me back, Harrington.

I know.

2: 45 am, and Steve finally dozes off, praying for the first time since his first communion… begging God to kill him.