#and how that reminds him of the many issues in their father/son dynamic

[multishipper-baby]

I still have wing brainrot so... Some very simplistic concepts with Rayray. Featuring the colors of the animal he was based on, and both of his dad's colors.

[yellowbluemoonshine]

Little Touya’s Trauma

I see a lot of takes of Touya being the ‘selfish kid’ and honestly, i think thats very unfair thing to say because he is not like Shouto or even Shigaraki, of course because simply his trauma is different. Before i start, i would like to remind that i love Shouto a lot and Shigaraki is one of my faves but this post is gonna be about Touya.

Shouto and Touya have many similarities and even differences with trauma and all but i think the biggest difference between Touya and Shouto is simple;

One of them is eldest and other is the youngest child. This is important because Touya being the oldest and Shouto being the youngest tells a lot about their story because it changes their position and dynamic with their faimly.

The thing with most parents is their first child is their first experiment. Since most of them dont know how to deal with children or raising a kid, they messed up and instead of trying to solve the problem, they avoid the first child and try to not make the same mistake with other one. When i say ‘inexperienced parent’, i am not talking about Endeavour, really because Endeavour never intented to be parent and he always put his own ambitions above well being of his family. I am talking about Rei and even children.

The tragedy of Touya is not just him being burned to death and abandonded, its also his ‘training’ with Endeavour isnt considered as abuse by anyone, unlike Shouto who was crying. Endeavour may’ve not beat Touya but he was forcing Touya to push his limits at some point. (Most likely the reason Endeavour didnt beat Touya because Touya would obey and does anything his father said but Shouto wouldnt).

Endeavour didnt even care what would Touya want, HE decided Touya to be hero because in the end, what Touya wanted didnt matter. Touya didnt cry because he didnt know it was abnormal. Touya didnt cry because he wouldnt want to make his father disappointed. He was used as ‘tool’ but how he could know thats not how most fathers raise their sons? He already internalized the idea of his worth in his family, thats why, he wouldnt mind burning himself.

Rei and his siblings actually cared about Touya but i think i understand why he felt so unseen by them.

Rei knew that Endeavour wanted children only as successor but i think she never thought how this will end up ruin her children or how much it would hurt and ruin them. Which is why she was so protective of Shouto when it comes to training, she even would show Allmight as a good example so that he wouldnt turn out like Endeavour. Also, by focusing on Shout too much, she also (unintentionally) neglected her children. She wouldnt talk with touya about his issues, until Touya was already self destructing. She seems to understand that he is somehow struggling with issues with his father but she doesnt seem to udnerstand why Touya is so ‘obssessed’ with ‘training’ or why he wouldnt stop. Just like other members of Todoroki family.

Rei, Fuyumi, Natsuo. Rei seems surprised when Touya had mentalbreakdown. Fuyumi doesnt understand why his brother would go so far to hurt himself for the sake of ‘training’. Natsuo doesnt understand why his brother would cry and talk about this at the middle of night. Though, Natsuo changed his narrative after Touya’s death but Rei and Fuyumi saw as accident. ‘It wasnt Endeavour’s fault, it was Touya’s fault for being stubborn’. But it wasnt accident. It was Endeavour’s fault because that was the only way he gave to Touya.

Compared to this, the way they see Shouto and his ‘training’ is opposite. Fuyumi feels regret for not being able to protect his brother. Natsuo cant forget about the night Shouto’s screams when his face was burnt, he blames himself for not being able to do anything (in novel). Rei feels sorry for Shouto, seeing him as ‘the one who suffered the most’, ‘hero of the family’. Even Endeavour thinks this way. Whole family would avoid even talking about Touya, until he became a villain and made his story public. But even so, his family doesnt seem to understand. The one who needed to be isolated or changed wasnt Shouto or Touya, it was Endeavour. They all have regrets for Touya but it looks like they try to get rid of those regrets with Shouto more than Touya did because it was ‘too late’ for them to do it for Touya. Or maybe, they couldve seen Shouto as victim because of what happenned to Touya.

Curse of being first child of the family. Their thought process is even opposite with Shouto. For Touya, his father was like god like an existence, he would go far to excuse his father’s wrong actions, he did try everything for him but nothing changed and for Shouto, his father was monster but later, he saw him ‘change’. Shouto didnt love Endeavour, he didnt expect anything from him, thats why it was eaiser for him to accept him but that wont the case with Touya because Touya loved Endeavour more than anyone and it wasnt enough for Endeavour to change. I hope Shouto realized this too.

Touya does somehow understand what happenned to him and Shouto was abuse but in his mind, he internalized his abuse, that he is failure too much, he cant see himself or Shouto as victim. Even with Shigaraki, even he understand Afo’s horrible intentions, to him, ‘training a child’ is raising so he wouldnt see it as ‘that weird’ enough to do something.

Yes, Touya wasnt shown as kind as Tenko or even Shigaraki. And he is not like Bakugou either. He wasnt bully and he would repress his negative feelings towards Shouto because he knew it was wrong. Touya is a lot like Deku who would do anything, break himself over and over to prove his worth. And he was crybaby like Deku but at least, Deku had Inko and had a chance to be hero with power and well, Deku didnt have Endeavour as father. (We would learn more about Deku’s feeling worthless, if author allowed his characters to call out Bakugou and adress his bullying.)

Touya would cry easiely, he was drowning in his own feelings. His tears literally turn into fire and burn him to death and he lost his ability to cry. It would make sense for Touya to scared of his own feelings, distancing himself from everyone as trauma response. Similar to Tenko who cant hug anyone after he tried to reach out to his family but end up killing them.

But the difference between them is their father. Koutaro and Endeavour. They both had abusive fathers but Koutaro actually cared about Tenko and his family. Before the tragedy, Tenko was a lot like Shouto but even in better sitution because he wasnt isolated. Tenko had friends, he had cute dog and supportive big sister. Despite the abuse he had at home, his life was almost close to normal. Touya before his tragedy, he never had normal life. He felt distance with his family. He didnt have friends because Endeavour made him believe that Touya was living in different world from other kids. And after his death, he lived in streets, most likely never connecting with others.

Yes, Dabi is the most distant member in league but its not his fault. Members like Shigaraki and Twice show their care more than others because they know what it is like to loose someone they love to death. (Skipping Spinner and Compress but i think their family most likely cared them too). Unlike Toga and Dabi whose families are alive but abandonded anyway. At least Toga know how to fake it because she knows if she behaves well, people will be kinder to her. She wasnt raised like a soldier like Dabi and Shigaraki. She also lives for connections, unlike Dabi who always raised to believe connections are unneeded.

Basically, this boy never develop his social skills, he doesnt have manners, he is rude, he is distant but its not his fault. Its his trauma. He actually cares (in a distant but he cares). He doesnt much show his kindness as others (he showed it when he saved Twice, like hero and when he burnt Toga’s house etc) but that doesnt mean he isnt kind or he is selfish. Mercy, boy literally wants to die.

Bonus; He would also be friends with Tenko and his little group because he is just like Shouto ‘i dont need any friends’ kind of kid, well, Deku reach out to Shouto so Tenko would reach out to Touya too, just like how Shigaraki reach out to Dabi and gain his respect (and his care and loyalty, even he doesnt show it much).

[jinx-on-mars-19xx]

Hate Is Nothing New

(Kill Somebody Like You Part Two Chapter Six)

🔪Previous Parts Here🔪

Dom x Colson (Yungblud x Machine Gun Kelly)

Warnings: ABO dynamics (knots, slick, heats, mpreg), alpha serial killer/hitman Dom, omega mob boss Kells, baby fic, cursing, past abuse, past SA, past miscarriage, allusions to selling people, sexism (against omegas), family talks, threats, allusions to murder, issues with the government, secrets revealed, past DV, Kells trying to be strong while everyone talks about his past abuse, panic/anxiety, hurt/comfort, cuddling, fluffy love confessions, boys being adorable, enemies to lovers ❤️‍🔥 Rating: mature

All ideas helped by @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker 🩷

When Kells sat down with his family around him, his mate on one side, and his sons on the other he wasn't sure if he did in fact ‘got this’ as Dom had said. Mod, Tom, Trav, and his mother were on the other couch and his best friend was setting his cell on the table. His knee automatically started bouncing and he thought about running back to their bedroom and hiding. He was supposed to have weeks for a break but his father going on live TV fucked everything up. His men didn't even know the full story but he was sure they heard that bastard's words- ‘Colson tried to tempt me. Just like his mom.’ Or however he'd worded his disgusting lies. He was positive everyone in the home had heard what he yelled at the screen but did Mod know? Tim must. Any of the men who were around when he was young. Fuck. He couldn't look any of them in the face and call himself a leader could he?

Blain eased Punk to one arm and reached over for Col’s hand. It struck him suddenly that if he let himself feel shame for all he'd been through he was basically telling this boy he should be ashamed too. That any time he was hurt it was his fault. That he couldn't be strong for being put through hell. That's not what he wanted either of his boys to believe, he wanted to prove to his young omega that he could be whatever he wanted in life and he shouldn't feel anything but pride for surviving. He wanted his little Alpha to grow up knowing omegas were his equals, not less than. He didn't want his lover thinking he should hate himself for what happened when he was younger. If he didn't face this head on he would be letting down everyone he loved and himself.

He never wanted to be the face of an omega revolution, he'd spent so long lying to himself and everyone else about what he was it didn't feel fair for him to. If anything he felt like an insult to the movement but no one else was saying so. Dom had shown him his fan pages and so many sweet messages, he had support of thousands if not more. He knew he couldn't look himself in the mirror if he didn't step the fuck up but he was terrified at the same time.

“So are we thinking car bomb?” Rook spoke up from the phone and it made everyone chuckle. It broke the tension and reminded Col these were his people. He just tried to keep thinking how easy it had gone the day he came out. They all already knew. Maybe they knew this too?

He cleared his throat and sat forward, spreading his legs to lean his elbows there. He felt bad letting go of both Dom and his son but he had to focus and he was sure they understood. He needed to feel in control and he knew he wasn't doing it alone. Besides he knew himself damn well and he'd probably be pacing a hole in the carpet soon. “We can't do anything like that. Mod, this line secure?” He had to make sure and his brother nodded. He trusted his tech inclined roommates to know better than the feds. “This apology they're issuing is probably bullshit, it just means they'll be watching us closer. We can't do anything that would get us caught which means we can't make any buys this month either.” Down to business first, they can handle his dad after or preferably not at all.

“Weird idea I know but uh, why don't we just tell them what we do?” Pete offered from his line and Kells rolled his eyes.

“We can't trust they wouldn't try to step in and fuck it up. Can you name the last omegas the government actually saved? Yeah. I didn't think so. We do their job because they don't give a fuck about people like me. Besides if they found out we couldn't keep it from spilling to everyone we buy from. We'd be up shits creek without a damn paddle and I'm not doing that to what Travis built. I hate the idea of waiting, I know that's a lot of people lost but we have to give them up for long enough so we can help even more later.” He explained. It truly did hurt his heart that he couldn't help for a few months. Who knows how many omegas he'd lose the chance to save in that time.

“Tell us what you really think.” Rook teased again and he laughed softly, finally pushing up to stand so he could pace. He knew the bigger shit was coming and he hated it. He didn't want to talk about them. Ever.

“It's okay baby, I can take this.” Collette offered as he walked past her but he shook his head. He was boss, even with Travis alive and mostly well. He could handle it. Right?

“We're on your side boss, we know they were lying.” Tim spoke up and for just a moment Colson wondered why he wasn't already in his home. He glanced to his parents who were watching him pace and his brows furrowed.

“Just a sec.” He huffed.

Dom watched his mate walk straight out of their home and he shared a confused look with Tom. It was Travis who rubbed over the back of his head like he was nervous.

“Oh hey boss!” Tim's voice sounded further away from the phone before there was rustling coming through the speaker. After a moment the door opened again and Colson was dragging the beta with him. He stood in front of his mother and adoptive dad and gave them a look until the old boss scooted over.

“Stop being fucking weird. Tim is more welcome than you two assholes.” Kells huffed as he started pacing again. The beta had already helped him through a lot.

“What the fuck is happening?” Rook asked from the phone and Col threw up his hands.

“Tim was hiding in my parents apartment like a dirty little secret and I'm putting my foot down. I might have been an idiot before but I know now and I'm cool with it. Don't fuck with the good shit you actually have in your life.” The omega's gaze locked on his mate's and they shared a soft smile. Now that he knew what love was he didn't want anyone denying it. Not that he'd say anything so cheesy.

“Like I was saying. We know they're lying and we know at least some of what they did. I remember finding you Cols, we're behind you a thousand percent. Always.” The beta explained. Surprisingly Kells found himself wanting to hug the guy but he just gave him that bro nod. If he touched anyone he was pretty sure he'd break the hell down.

“I don't. Some of us don't know.” Pete spoke up and Colson thought about not explaining shit. The important people knew but… weren't they all important? He couldn't decide if he needed to do something with his hands and he thought about taking his son but Punk was sleeping happily in his big brother’s hold and the sight was too comforting to stop.

He picked up one of his boy's squishmallow stuffies. It was some kind of goblin looking fuck but the softness was nice between his fingers. He kept squeezing it or tossing it around as he walked back and forth but he wasn't sure how to talk about this. “I know some of you remember when I got here. When Travis found me. Well as my sperm donor said himself by accident, he sold both mom and me, but it wasn't because we came on to his brother. He caught the fucker…” He couldn't swallow past the lump in his throat and he was squeezing the squish too tight to his chest. He probably looked like the lost boy he felt like but Dom met his eyes and smiled.

“You all remember how hard I fought to find Colson after Travis saved me. Well it was because I worried my ex’s brother would assault him like he had me. My husband- who bought me as a child, came home to find his brother attacking me but they blamed me for it. He questioned if Col was his which of course he was. I was barely old enough to even have children. They nearly killed me and sold me, keeping my boy and moving away so I couldn't track them down.” Collette sighed, squeezing her mate's hand. Tim wrapped his arm across the back of the sofa to go around Travis's shoulders so he could rest a palm on her neck. They were sweet together if weird to see. Travis was in the middle because he was obviously the center of them. Whatever was happening. Shit, that wasn't the important thing at the moment.

“History repeats itself I guess.” Col grumbled and he caught a few curses through the phone. It was reassuring they all loved him and his mom so much but he didn't want them thinking less of him. Or thinking about it every time they saw him.

“So it was your uncle's kid? That's fucked up.” Dub huffed through the phone and Kells felt his stomach roll. He hadn't meant to explain that part really and his pulse raced. The old timers knew?

“Shit, hey. You're okay. Colson? Breathe for me.” Travis had dropped his cane after pushing himself up and he stopped in front of Kells to cup his cheeks. “We could smell it on you when we found you. It didn't matter to anyone. It still doesn't. We love you and we would have loved them too. You're our family. My son. Our leader. Don't let this fuck you up.”

After a minute Kells took a deep breath and nodded. He was pretty sure Dub muttered an apology at some point but the damage was done. He wasn't upset, he just didn't like talking about his miscarriage. Like the other said- it was deeply fucked up. “I want them both dead but we can't kill them yet. What are our options in the meantime because they're trying to fuck with my name.” The omega spoke and Travis stepped back with a proud smile but Tim had to help him sit back down. It was obvious walking without help took it out of him.

“All I can think is death.” Rook explained and Col almost laughed. There was a chorus of ‘same’ and even most of the people in the room nodded along. It was his mother who raised her hand with a smirk.

“Actually I have an idea. I don't think you're gonna like it though. Any of you.” She said, looking over at his mate and sons. It piqued his interest but honestly even if he hated it he'd do what he had to, to protect his family. They couldn't kill the men but they had to stop their talking. It could ruin their livelihoods and ability to save omegas if they kept it up.

“Let's hear it. I'll take anything at this point.” He sighed and she beamed at him. He'd do anything to help keep his family safe.

🖤🔪🖤

Colson had said he'd do anything for his family and his name but after everyone had left he was still warring inside over her idea. She'd explained herself in detail and it made perfect sense but he was having trouble finding the strength inside himself for all it would take. He was still pacing hours later, his son asleep in his cot. His family had either left or gone to their rooms except Dom of course. His Alpha stayed with him but kept his distance for the time being. He was terrified the killer was upset too.

“Do you think it's a good idea?” He finally asked when the world started to feel quiet. He made his feet pause and he turned to face the other man.

“I don't like it neither but I don't know wha' else we can do. Bastards plastered ‘emselves on TV to make sure we couldn't fuck wiv ‘em. Pretty sure ya mum's right. We out of options luv.” The Alpha sighed and shrugged, holding out his hand to ask his mate closer. After a moment Col walked to him and crawled into his lap, straddling him gently. He didn't want to put too much weight on the other but Dom pulled him flush against him.

The boss exhaled his stress at the relaxing feel of being held by his lover. Dominic always made him feel better. “It's gonna be stressful as fuck. I mean it's already bad getting these little stalkers outside and shit. We'll be doing this on purpose. You hate being perceived.” He joked, wrapping his arms around his partner's neck.

Dom curled his fingers around his mate's hips, his thumbs petting over his hip bones that were getting more visible by the day. For a split second he felt sad over the loss of Col’s baby bump but he shook it off and kissed the other's lips. “I can do it. Yeah it'll be awkward for a bit but I'll get used to it. Besides it ain't like anyone is gonna recognize me or nuffin, don't got no one to bover me like you do. I'll stand be’ind yas like a good boy. Besides, if I ever get caught it'll make a great chapter for all the True Crime docs about me.”

Colson rolled his eyes at his lover's joke. He hated the thought of her serial killer ever being found out and he trusted Dom would always be careful about that. For now it was completely separate, they weren't doing anything that could get them in trouble. No, for now they were just a couple that helped run a family owned PR company and a load of clubs in LA. They were company men and good boys. They were used to masks, this was just a new one. Dominic would do anything Col needed him to and he always would.

“Mmm, ya know…” Kells trailed off as he licked over his mate's lips. “If we really want to present a strong bond and family values shit…” His stomach flipped with nerves as he sat back and slid off one of his rings. He always wore the one Dom bought him on his ring finger but the one he pulled free was something Travis had gifted him long ago. It was a simple titanium band with crosses all around and he held it up between them and took a shaking breath. “I think we should get married.”

“For the story?” Dom asked. He could still remember the night he accidentally proposed and Colson had ignored him. He didn't want to say yes just to make a good picture. He wanted his partner to ask because they were in love. He knew they were, but of course his dominant needed to be in control of even this.

“For me. Because shit Dom, I need you. You're already my mate and the father of our boys and you back me up with everything. I know all this, I know I have you forever and sure maybe I'm letting this shit push me into asking now but-” The omega stopped himself from rambling and he took a breath. When their eyes met again he tried to speak from the heart as best he could. He tried to peel away every mask and facade he'd ever put up and just let his psycho see the real him that only he could find. “I wanted to say yes that night. I was terrified of something so fucking traditional and believe me if we do it in a church I'll pass the hell out.”

“I fink I'd burst into flames.”

Kells smiled at his mate's soft tease but continued. “Seeing them again… He's the reason I was scared of tradition. He married mom so young and would have married me off too. He hid behind religion and kept saying God knew she was still his forever. It fucked me up. I'm yours because I want to be. Every scar we give each other reminds me of that. I would die if I lost you, probably take your ass with me first. But I don't want to let him scare me off anything anymore. You gave me our boy and I survived it. You mated me and I survived it. Now… this is the last thing he's kept me scared of. So Dom, will you marry me and help me face one last fear and beat him again?”

The Alpha rarely felt the type of emotions that made him cry but Colson had been bringing that out of him for almost a year. He felt his eyes burn but he blinked it back, holding his hand up for his lover. “Course I will, always got your back Cols. Long as you remember I asked first.” He teased and sniffled. Kells always took the lead and he wanted just this one thing. His partner chuckled wetly as he slid the band on his finger. “So, courthouse? Vegas? Wha' ya finking?”

“Oh baby no. Just because I don't want a church wedding doesn't mean it won't be the most spectacular thing you've ever seen.” He purred as their lips met and he felt the other man swallow hard.

“It's gonna be…” Dom trailed off and Col nodded.

“Expensive as fuck. Yeah. We deserve the best of everything, don't we?” He could already picture so much of it and he couldn't wait to see his lover all dressed up. “I'm not wearing a fucking skirt.” He had to add and Dom laughed, his palms resting low on the older man's hips.

“Maybe I will.” The Alpha shrugged and rolled his mate's ass in his lap. He wasn't sure if he was trying for anything but he wanted to feel even more connected. He was just happy to finally understand what had happened before and to be able to help his partner through everything. Forever. Soon he wouldn't just be a mate and father, he'd be a husband and he was marrying the most self spoiled brat he'd ever met. He couldn't fucking wait.

Author's Note/Tags: @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker @hollywoodxwhore @jaxbreaker @fenoy7 @cole-way-iero28 if anyone wants tagged let me know 🩷

Slightly intense chapter but surprise ending! I love the juxtaposition of how low-key they are personally but extravagant with what they show to the world. Such a calm sweet proposal when you know the wedding will be wild. I wonder what Collette has planned to help, I guess we'll find out as we go. I hope you're all enjoying it 🖤❤️‍🔥

[fincalinde]

I’ve been rereading it’s worth it every time and that + the post abt mxy reminded me of how much I like your take on what happened! the way that… it’s not malicious on mxy’s part and at first he doesn’t even seem to realize how obvious he’s being, but he does eventually escalate to actual, unwelcome, come-ons towards jgy (the first scene when he checks on him and gives him heart eyes vs the “I’m yours” scene, is what I’m thinking here)

Thanks so much! I put a lot of thought into making MXY canon consistent, and I really wanted to capture how desperately vulnerable he is without minimising his behaviour. And off the back of this I've written an entire post about JGY and MXY exploring how JGY chooses to handle the MXY issue in canon, so here goes.

The relationship between JGY and MXY is a complicated one. JGY is the victim of MXY's inappropriate behaviour, but this isn't what could be considered a traditional perpetrator-victim dynamic. MXY is younger, less experienced, less powerful, and has at least one unspecified mental health condition. Even before JGY becomes clan leader, he has authority over MXY even if simply by virtue of being MXY's elder and quasi-mentor—and once JGY actually is clan leader, he literally has the power of life and death over MXY.

Before JGY is clan leader, he's in a much more awkward position because any harassment he receives from MXY either isn't going to be believed or no one is going to do anything about it. JGS isn't going to step in to protect JGY from the brother who is at Golden Carp Tower literally to reinforce how easily he can be replaced. It makes sense if JGY is, if not necessarily fending off open advances at this stage, then at least navigating treacherous waters. MXY is in awe of him and can't physically overpower him, but JGY is still forced to live with him.

Once JGY is clan leader, he has far more options. It's telling that he doesn't quietly dispose of MXY—which he could easily do. I'm actually going to digress and talk about JGY's many other illegitimate siblings for a moment, because I never really see them brought up and we know they are plentiful and many of them have perfectly respectable mothers. Like MXY, the very fact of their existence is absolutely a threat.

We get one extremely unreliable indication in the text that JGY might have killed off some of his other half-siblings. During the scene in which everyone turns on him and starts shouting baseless slander, one of the claims thrown out is that before he had his father killed he spent a couple of years quietly eliminating his various illegitimate and unacknowledged half-siblings. I don't for a moment think this is true or that we are intended to think this is true, considering other claims include JGY, a prostitute's son, only rising to power by sucking up to NMJ and LXC; and JGY deliberately orchestrating XXC's death for having the temerity to politely reject an invitation to join the Jin at a time when it was led by JGS.

So obviously this is nonsense. But, OK, it's not as though it's completely implausible that JGY might have wanted his half-siblings out of the way. He didn't intend for JZX to die but he certainly didn't hesitate to put him in danger. Let's take the least generous read possible and imagine that this demonstrably false gossip has a seed of truth: once he comes to power, JGY begins to quietly eliminate his other half-siblings to ensure no rivals emerge. We know JGY is ruthless. It makes sense that he'd be taking precautions.

But we also know JGY is not solely ruthless, and that he is also generous and loyal and repays his debts in his own fashion. Maybe he did bump off half-siblings out of fear that his enemies could rally behind one of them. But he doesn't have QS quietly killed, even though it would solve his incest problem, because he is so profoundly grateful that she treats him with respect and love and makes nothing of his background. And, more interestingly, he doesn't have MXY quietly killed either.

JGY is an efficient and capable man, but he has a habit of putting people who know just a little too much in out of the way places where he doesn't necessarily have to think about them but they remain as loose ends. I'm not necessarily saying my read is that JGY was definitely systematically killing off his siblings over the years, but I do think it's something he is in theory capable of (I support him), so the fact that MXY is kicked out without subsequently having a terrible and terribly convenient accident is notable. It's also consistent with his habit of not following through completely on eliminating risk of exposure (however small) if he feels affection and/or gratitude towards someone. See: NMJ, XY, QS, Sisi, etc.

I think it shows almost supernatural forbearance that MXY is deposited back at Mo Manor. He really could so easily have been killed. He knows about the Jin's experimentations in demonic cultivation, which makes him a liability, and has even seen WWX's notes. If JGY were really as ruthlessly pragmatic as so many in fandom seem to think, MXY would have died in a convenient accident not long after arriving back at Mo Manor. The only explanation is that JGY is genuinely fond of MXY, and in classic JGY fashion this means putting MXY in a miserable situation that's out of sight and out of mind so JGY can continue to flatter himself that he didn't kill him.

[saltyloafy]

even after telling trucy and apollo abt them being siblings and abt their mother I still feel like apollo would not see phoenix as a father figure and I don't think that he should. phoenix is a mentor for him, he already had a dad in dhurke even he's well,,, yeah,, and I feel like him and phoenix have too complicated of a dynamic to just boil it down to "you are my son now".

during phoenix's beanix era he projected a lot onto apollo to try to beat the naivete out of him that reminded him so much of how he used to be b4 he became horribly jaded. phoenix wanted to protect him from making the same mistakes as he did so he made him actively distrust him to teach him a lesson like "haha you can't even trust your heroes!" (the forged playing card)

anyway in summary I don't think apollo would just forget all of the effort that phoenix put into teaching him the "hard lessons" of the dark age of the law just bc he wants a 3rd father figure, yaknow. he dealt with so many daddy issues in kur'ain I think the boy deserves to have an adult man who is just like a weird uncle

[erisenyo]

oh god.. you've got me thinking about sokka and older men. I actually had a fic planned out that was sokka/bato, it was kind of angsty because bato was in love with hakoda and sokka looked so much like hakoda as he grew, never got round to finishing it though. but piandao/sokka has so much potential, i went to ao3 and it really doesn't have many fics? blasphemy. i can imagine sokka all starry eyed with piandao, only to realise wait. i want him to fuck me. but also its just so soft, piandao genuinely thinks sokka is brilliant, and like you said, sokka reminds him of the joys of life. piandaos a tad depressed, locked away in his manor and feeling guilty over the fire nation, but sokka reminds him its okay to let loose and have fun. definitely into the student/teacher dynamic.. piandao could definitely teach sokka a thing or two in bed, or even just with things like kisses, sokka may be inexperienced but he is very eager and piandao is willing to teach. and so, so many sword jokes.

Ohhh anon that sounds like some *peak* angst. The drama of Bato struggling over whether his feelings are for Sokka or Hakoda? And Sokka struggling to believe him? And the inevitable playing into Sokka's issues with trying to live up to his father's example, now dialed up to 11 with sex in the mix? The inevitable revelation that Hakoda's best friend is sleeping with his son?

If you ever get around to finishing it, definitely drop a link!

And the lack Piandao/Sokka is absolutely a tragedy! (One that a few authors are very valiantly taking efforts to correct, recently, which is greatly appreciated)

That moment when Sokka isn't sure if he admires Piandao, wants to be Piandao, or wants to be fucked by Piandao? (All three, obviously) The discovery of play and fun together post-war, and training for the simple pleasure of mastering a craft and not for utility.

And all the different places lessons can take them, of course. Not just teaching him how to kiss but teaching him how to earn his rewards, how to temper all that eagerness with patience, how to stay focused no matter what is distracting him...

Piandao is oh so willing to teach. And truly, so, so many sword jokes lol

[seavoice]

things i loved immensely in greywaren, in no particular order (positivity hour!):

- the world building with the entities and ronan and the lace...extremely romantic! i can’t think of another way to phrase it, it felt suffused with wonder and love and tenderness. maggie said something about how she wouldn’t have given chap 26 unless she was giving away this universe and i think all of her musings on humanity and beauty and fight came through in the world building of it. going out with a bang!

- the sweetmetal lore as well. now a trickier one this is! but i think i mosty love the metaphor? funny enough i wasn’t a great fan of all the implications of the sweetmetal details we learnt in this book, but still a solid solid metaphor for the dreaming and dreams.

- the writing was phenomenal. from a craft perspective. at certain points i was just awed at the writing.

- i am not really a soulmate eternal love girl, as in it doesn’t do anything special for me as a trope, but pynch ether/whatever scenes did make me go OH MAN. i think it was splendidly done. they were wanted, they were wanted, they were wanted. ronan choosing humanity again and again and again. choosing adam too! choosing humanity BECAUSE of adam (and the rest) in the end

- there were two gods in this church, baby!

- love the gangsey all being embroiled in this really intense multiship through magic forestry. CABESWATER YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS. when i eventually reread trb sometimes i know that the discovering cabeswater scene will get me bawling. their delight! their RELIEF! their love and wonder! all reframed in my brain. and ronan dreamt it for them...and gansey’s lives and deaths...

- Mother We Share now FIRMLY a lynch fam song

- Ode to My Family now FIRMLY a lynch fam song

- bryde meeting the girl and her holding a hand to her mouth, it was a powerful thing to know you weren’t alone...

- jordan played so small a part in this book, but when she was there she shined. i loved her fight with hennessy, her knowing what she wants, i loved her little domestic routine with declan, i loved being reminded of how resourceful and resilient and dynamic and clever she is in the nathan showdown scene. it made me remember that she was a caretaker for the girls for so many years, and all the love and care that she has cultivated. very thrilling implications of jordan being the hennessy without her mother, but even more so the implication of this jordan who has been standing so close to terror her whole life and not giving in. i wish we got more, but alas. what we got was extremely sweet. jordan flung her hand out at the sky, the wordless gesture for anything. i love that she was the one who got that last bit.

- adam and chainsaw did things to my heart. 

- mor’s story was extremely compelling in ways i did not expect. i really feel for her, even if i don’t necessarily vibe with her ending up in the barns apparently in frequent contact with her sons. felt a little like we skipped over all the interesting steps to that resolution. her objects of pain. how even her dreamt sleeping pill/painkiller tablet whatever is infused with misery and pain and the same scene with the kerry beach. the mary who ran away! the mary who wanted to kill god and played with god and ran from god. so many issues she had and created and also left her kids with, but also so many issues she 100% prevented by leaving. love her. i find her endlessly fascinating.

- new fenian and his bag of memories...he is so fun and cheery and upbeat and also definitely a FREAK. enjoy the heartbreaking ramifications of what would you do if your dead father’s love for you was stored in an unchanging version of him who will never be your father? SLAPS

- niall being so passive in this story, in this tragedy is what struck me most fascinating about him. he just lets everyone else make and take the decision, lets everyone else give the ideas and the cues. not mean or small or larger than life or bitter, just an useless king. pop went the mythic legend of niall lynch!

- marie lynch come back what did you want. sorry it’s so funny that she literally wasn’t relevant at all after all the speculation ince opal and her showing up in the book early. what a mental illlness dynasty

- low empathy mor + bipolar niall + curious reckless forest = ronan! call that jesus part two!!! what an origin story i LOVED IT

- loser cringefail marriage enjoyers RISSSEEEE UP

- many thoughts about niall giving ronan all his feelings. his desires and wants and wonders. mor giving him her pain and fear

- the “for the first summer, the barns was paradise to ronan lynch and adam parrish” chapter went SOOOOO HARD. i loved it. imagining a future is hard work! imagining it and changing it is even harder!

- you are made of dreams, he thought, and this world is not for you. the barns already looked like winter.

- paradise, paradise, why would he ever leave?

- i miss knowing where i was going HARDDDD AGREE ADAM PARRISH!!!

- mor-niall and adam-ronan parallels and it’s like. jordeclan you are soooo normal. you are literally so normal healthiest relationship ever sorry that i’d ever joke about you paralleling niall’s life choices 😭 this is a joke btw, i love the parallels of pynch and mor-niall; just makes the choice of them choosing truth and discomfort of facing your voices more hard fought. it’s what i’ve always loved about the pynch dynamic❤️ unable to imagine a future they’d be happy and making it themselves through trial and error

- jordeclan mwah mwah ❤️ i love them choosing each other over and over and how they are the easiest parts of each other’s life. the most honest. the lightest to carry. MAKES ME INSANE. dramatic art hoes

- niall loved declan and declan loved ronan and so ronan lived. can i get an amen! a yeehaw even?

- ronan’s first tether to the human world technically being declan really does so much for me as a concept. he chooses humanity and the only 100% human person he knows is who loves him first. BROTHERS!

- the first person who loves him in the human world is his big brother...rip that got me BAD.

- the freaky Forest. Annihilation ass shit. How delightful for a fan of horror and mythology. I love the haunted house/hungry forest/pleading god of the Barns’ setting.

- hennessy’s fucken mouse 🥺🥺

- declan’s fucken moth 🥺🥺

- we love a little creature...we love a little metaphor...

- carmen was a riot. i loved her becoming progressively unhinged. finally allowing herself to become rude and miserable and helpless. her and hennessy’s whole deal was extremely spicy and fun and i think really really needed and their scene were electric to me! her being like woops liliana is old now😬 kind of made me cackle but im still upset about what happened. her and declan being delusional together was great i love it actually. blasting german opera. rip parsifal and also that detail made me feel very tender

- “last men standing” (last men fucking shot😭) i just gotta mention the ink handover from mor feniall declan to carmen and hennessy because a) that was so funny. (“have you ever been shot?” asks maggie stiefvater character the new fenian dooming carmen into her fate), and b) what an insane line up of people to accomplish anything. to coordinate. ronan is so lucky everyone of them chose that day to not overcomplicate ideas and have no additional agendas, it’s like halley’s comet😭once in 76 years event only

- im not getting into the nathan of it all because this is a positive post and that plotline is something i struggle to be positive about but i did like carmen getting to shoot him for many reasons. one being that she did not actually shoot a single person until now. her finally finally doing something for herself without hundred wrong rationalisations.

- declan getting shot <3 and then immediately not having questions or a bone to pick. babygirl you are sooooo desensitised to inadvertent parental violence! and this wasn’t even that inadvertent

- matthew punching declan <3 we all clapped! him stealing the car and running away was amazing i love him so much. frankly should have smashed his laptop too wtf was declan’s horror story plan 

- hennessy’s ARC. her broken, broken, broken heart! that part when ronan is spying on jordan and is like omg jordan is so good at art just like hennessy! she’d amazed him with her casual art. anything could be a medium to hennessy. a discarded pen, dust gathered on the dashboard, convenience store makeup, melted candy, leftover ketchup. hennessy could be mean and clever when she spoke, with her art she was just clever. AND THEN SHE SKETCHES THE HEART AND THE MOUSE WAKES UP!

- omg the mouse woke up...

- i loved every bit of her art making journey here. it kind of brought me back to cdth where jordan is breaking her back with doing all the art and the forgery and and whatnot and hennessy doesnt really take too much of an interest...and all this time they could have aved the girls! but she will save her mouse! we get to see the flip and her careful watchul process and it kind of. it changed me.

- who was jordan hennessy without her mother? she was jordan.

- but also. who was jordan in white? she was hennessy despite everything despite her mother’s base it was HER who made her her...hennessy i love you. i’m glad you love yourself.

- an image she knew part of her would be pursuing for the rest of her life, if they survived this. hennessy’s pursuit of brilliance and excellence is something we don’t talk about enough but it is SUCH a big part of her. perfectionist. her eye for detail. and her taking it into how she wants to live her life wah <3

-her and ronan are so precious to me. the first friend who did not share her face.

- the lace scene where she find him and does not let him go they’d both been screaming.<3 you’re the only one i would. they’d both been screaming.

- “fuck you, this is so good.” SICK ASS BLACK OUT TATTOO. how hennessy’s human drive and friendship and recognition and cleverness and love literally infused ronan with comparable strength of sweetmetal to the ley line...THE MOMENT!

- snakeskin tattoo gets second mention i love it. calla <3 almost like you are psychic girl

- back to hennessy, i found the way her relationship with her mother to me dealt so wonderful. one thing that struck me was that scene with jordan in white where they are like “oh, didn’t know she was like that at home as well. i’m sorry that must be difficult” and that acknowledgement MATTERING to her. i think a lot about hennessy excising that memory of her mother from her copies; none of them really KNOW. no one has ever known her mother and said those words to her. no one knows her mother accept her lace. no one to tell about the horrific neglect and abuse except herself over and over until the last minute where she has to rip herself out and it’s with a version of herself who has never been touched by her mom. lots of thoughts.

- hennessy/carmen dynamic rocked idc rushed or not or whatever i was extremely extremely charmed by it for reasons i’ll elaborate later on, but mainly: two people suffering who finally get to be awful and horrible and real without worrying about the other person. without thinking the other person had the answers! and finding it thrilling and freeing but also painful!! because they don’t want to be caustic but also. they kind of do? i am UPSET BEYOND WORDS about carlianessy dreams being shattered because i was gunning for it sinc 2019 but i absolutely still love hennessy/carmen

- very sexy too. i love women. farooq-lane, burning. hennessy creating herself, now with intention!

- ronan’s monologues were beautiful. i wish we got a little more of awake ronan doing stuff, but asleep ronan having many beautiful musings about the nature of humanity and love was wonderful. he is full of love, he is the lynch pin (heh heh), he is the god and devotee!! character of all time

- he was sentimental of his lovingly decorated body 🥺

- chapter 26 you will always be famous. it touched me in ways i can’t fully articulate! numquam solus. a funeral or a baptism. thank you, thank you, thank you, ronan thought with such relief, such relief. maggie wrote that for all the bitches who had an almost academic and definitely unhealthy obsession with death/their death in their childhood.

- glad to know the answer to the age old fandom question of what would declan do if he lost both brothers in one fell swoop was: murder-suicide

- to be fair though if i thought of thoughts such as: he did not question that declan would want to keep him secure; he just assumed that he would while i wandered around the city trying to find out if my baby brother died i would have also gone for the same option. king shit

- loved declan’s story for many reasons, i loved him miserable and guilty and suffering. loved ch 27. but also what i possibly love most about ch 27 is the moment on the sidewalk where he’s like there’s a version of me that doesn’t get off this step until my heart stops because it’s all a little too much. but then he squares his shoulders goes and tries to get the sweetmetal for ronan anyway and frees the prisoners on the way. which is where i think his so far kind of parallel arc to niall’s splits off in the opposite direction. 

- i think i have such complicated feelings on the lynch fam resolution and declan’s memory of his father in particular, but there is so much going on there with him finally getting the memories of both his parents, it not fixing anything but it STILL being something that eases declan in a way, that i can love and feels incredibly true to his character. i think that proof of love does make a difference for him and his view of his father (someone who was a scared selfish short sighted dumb man, rather than a straight up cruel bitter one that didn’t care to teach ronan and thought declan was expendable) and genuinely in a more nuanced way than i’ve been shitposting about djcdscbfkc. also (would have) parallels (paralleled) ronan’s view on declan and niall and whatnot, if you know we had got ronan’s view on like, his family and friends, sometime in this book. but not the place for that lmao. positivity hour.

- i don’t think it should erase his anger at his father or the trauma that he brought into their lives, and am soooo not a fan of the whole my childhood was content actually the WHOLE view of my family was a grief-fuelled lie thing, i feel dissatisfied beyond words with that choice, but i do feel declan considering it on the other side of his childhood as someone who has fucked up with dealing with grief and trauma and magical wards is powerful on its own. also “to copy a person, one must become that person for a little while” policy of the dream memories imo make it more blurry. i think FEELING that fear and love and uh, stupidity, is more mind melting than just seeing the memories.

- side note, i love a lot about how maggie wrote the memories of mor and niall. i realised only in hindsight that the dreamy, blending nature of both their povs is supposed to signify declan viewing them both and getting both sides of the story? feeling both sides of the story. very nice.

- side note, fun short term exposition. long term, fucking INSANE to have both your parents worst/most awful/”loving but you didn’t get to have it” memories in your head. i love it what a bad but incredibly sexy to explore idea <3

- talking about dreams written well. ronan’s dreams in the battle!!! that battle rocked from a writing standpoint even if i didn’t care about nathan enough for me to fully like it to max potential. the repeating dreams and snippets of bryde’s monologues, and the lace and greywaren showdown. EPIC. 

- he woke up!

- HE WOKE UP.

- it was not a choice at all.

- i AM one of those things. freaking slayy

- big big fan of the parallels with adam and hennessy and i LOVE the further implication of her saving him, i loved that hennessy saved him for ronan and as a challenge to herself to save another person from the lace. i think great jumping off point. but unpopular opinion unfortunately in the context itself adamnessy did not do as much for me as i might have expected. that “hush i’ve worked too hard...” like it was fun, but i wish we could have got the situation in some other way. and maybe i would have liked to hear what you and jordan had to say to each other actually hennessy!!! all said and done this is in things i loved because RODAMNESSY IS REAL, and those two blokes WILL owe hennessy for the rest of their lives!!!

- adam rent asunder by the lace...rip to him. his mind orbs 😭 i actually really enjoyed jordan trying to keep him alive of it all. she’s so good. also bisexual solidarity

- matthew and bryde scenes were gold. clinical depression gesfvgdhffv. also i needed more from them, actually even this particular line of thinking but: if i had to learn to be sad, you had to learn to be happy. lot’s of feelings about matthew as the bridge between two siblings he considers as deeply unhappy individuals, one who was suicidal for a period of time in high school and one who he is starting to see recently as fallible and clueless on how to move forward, and how he has to re-contextualise that he was dreamt as an ebullient loving easy brother, who was the favorite of his dreamTM mother who was much the same. and even without the dream thing, just as a little boy in that situation :( we did not delve into it, but the crumbs of this was much appreciated. 

- also EXTREMELY hilarious. CHIROPRACTOR SONG.

- DUDIFER. matthew you are my son

- bryde amused me. what a shitty life. rip man you were BUILT for doom. ronan omg.

- talking about matthew i think i am doing the heavy lifting of liking his arc in my head, but for my peace of mind i do think it’s implied declan-matthew resolve their issues in a way by the time epilogue rolls around. the whole moth story got me for a bunch of reasons, but the biggest is nothing to do with niall but actually about matthew being the one to re-gift it as a wedding present and declan releasing it. crazy ass metaphor. they get better i gotta believe that. the both of them are SO important to me.

- the lynch brothers are friends again! they hugged! REJOICEEE

- foxway mention!!!! does it matter if the bride and groom know them or not??? this was for one person and that is MEEE

- i think getting wedded by your high school accountant/local psychic is a fun and eye opening experience. not inviting the hitman that beat you up and murdered your father is a fair choice, but i also think that would have been fun and eye-opening gdfcagfahg 

- seondeok mention! henry mention! I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THAT DIVORCE. rip a fulfilling non-traumatising arc for declan and henry though. they are just doing black market crime now? welp. this is positive because it’s tragically funny.

- boo no sarchengsey. love gansey and blue troubled academics but boo sociology. in my brain blue does dendrology and gansey archaeology i feel they’re really into fieldwork but oh well. academic rivals  <3 henry is the jilted lover they reunite with amen.

- ahhh ronsey. orange juice. past lives. them

- love ronan getting to travel and be free to guide and help other dreamers. i do not buy that he is so settled in his life he is completely hundred percent done with difficult responses to tragedy/anger/grief etc like the last bit of this book implied, but i guess nothing DISPROVED it either. we just don’t know enough.

- in the many, i’m sure riveting, christmas dinner battles of fed adam vs black market criminals henry and declan, i’m on the side of black market criminals henry and declan. 

-  art therapist hennessy CANON baby!!!!! how does it feel to only win. very good.

- again ronanessy, travelling this way and that four years later...love to see it <3

- sweet potato farm internship for matthew...love that for him

- jordeclan saving the sexy guestlist for the bigger wedding so they can convince the new fenian that the barns handcat wedding is the InTiMAtE one is my personal canon. personal jesus.

- “it occurred to Blue and me the other day that being a teenager really sucked.” <3 i will take that as really hopeful words with me out of this series. i didn’t need the really happy picture perfect ending from this series, but there is something really powerful in reading about a beautiful, magical, and painful too, but a really beautiful adolescence and having the character think back on it and say “oh, i didn’t know it could get better”. rest of their lives left, baby, and each slender present becoming the beautiful past you make your peace with and are actually, hey, kind of happy to leave behind, because there is some future left for you to discover.

[dragonseeds]

ok would love to hear more of your daemyra emma thoughts because i do see the vision and i'm kinda obsessed

yesss i’m glad you see it too because the parallels are driving me insane currently.

emma to me is pseudo incest already—they hated jesus because he told the truth, etc—which is referenced most obviously in clueless when they made josh cher’s step-brother instead of her almost brother-in-law and basically halved the age difference to make it more palatable. i’m pretty sure emma and knightley have the same age difference as daemon and rhaenyra in both books. it’s like sixteen years? so rhaenyra grows up with daemon but not really, and he’s absolutely her gothic uncle but he’s also an older brother figure to her. i think it’s more apparent with daemyra because they’re initially positioned as rivals who are both desperate for viserys’ approval—they’ll never be his son, but they have both been his heir—and they recognize that in each other and help each other make peace with that and occasionally hurt each other with it. when viserys chooses rhaenyra it takes daemon a minute, like he has some Behaviors and crushing realizations, but ultimately he loves her, loves his family, bends the knee to HER. it reminds me of mr. knightley’s understanding of emma’s relationship with her father and how he agrees to stay with her, in her home, because he loves and respects them both despite traditional social conventions. it’s like… the ultimate fun sexy messed up power dynamic to me because despite the gender inequality, both rhaenyra and emma have a level of power and privilege that most women wouldn’t. the imbalance is still there, but there are so many extra levels to it and negotiations within the relationship to play with. especially when you factor in both of their gender issues, which are also tied up in viserys.

aside from that, it’s just vibes. rhaenyra and emma are such similar characters to me! spoiled and entitled when young, high-handed, but clever and charming and deeply loving, willing to learn and grow from their mistakes—motherless and tied up in their relationships with their father. whereas daemon like. couldn’t be more different than mr. knightley, outside of them both being jealous pathetic bitches, but still rhaenyra idealizes him the same way emma does. because they just like each other! they’re old friends and family and they push each other and challenge each other; they have their own language and way of speaking, their own world within the world. it’s a crazy level of intimacy and chemistry, like it genuinely makes me insane?? i love that daemyra explores the darker aspects of such a relationship—i mean it would be impossible not to given the succession struggles and war and dynastic incest, but specifically daemon takes advantage of his access to rhaenyra when she’s younger in a way mr. knightley never does with emma and never would do (which always reads as a power fantasy to me, esp when coupled with emma’s wealth and the relative independence it brings her: she is safe, she has always been safe; daemon and rhaenyra are really just a different more dangerous exploration of this, almost at the other end of the spectrum)—but they’re still also very sweet and indulgent and comfortable with each other. fucked up and interesting and i love that they get to have that for while by sort of stepping into another genre for a moment before everything falls apart partially due to their own batshit horrible decision making and they destroy each other.

[malice-death]

RWBY: Favorite Characters

When it comes to characters from Rwby, I have a small list I hold close to my hearts, in other words, people that I like seeing on screen sometimes more than others.

Now most people have watched the series for years, and have tight opinion on characters, but I love how unique the appearance characters is and how they tie to the plot.

So for this post, I thought I speak on my top five faves.

1. Mercury Black

Crazy to think that some Murderer’s son was going to be the first character that I liked.

Even funnier was, when I first watched the show, I thought that they wouldn’t put a character with some dead dad in the show, and five seconds later is Cinder and Emerald meeting this crazy boy who just straight killed his father.

What a legend in my opinion. But as soon as I saw that he was heading to Vacuo, I pretty much made the same expression as Emerald when he left, I pray that he shows in Volume 10, I don’t even care if he good or evil, I just want to see this cynical soul again.

“Ahem” Moving on.

2. Oscar Pine

This kid pretty much was the world’s punching bag, all because Ozpin lived inside his head rent free, and while I like Ozpin, Oscar stole my heart with his earnst nature and the fact that he went on to face so much to aid Ruby and her friends.

Even better was the fact that he was such a character, that Team JOYRide wasn’t just going to abandon him, even when Jaune, Yang, and Ren were all working through their own issues.

General Ironwood saw that Oscar was going to give him the information that he wanted and needed to be taken out for it, hell even Cinder said that Oscar was right at the end of Volume 8, so please come on the evidence of a great character is there.

 Finally, I also love the ship Rosegarden, and the fact that the dynamic between Oscar and Ruby is really fun to watch. The fact that they grow together as friends and characters, the fact that they both lean on each other, the fucking fumble before Oscar goes to confront Ironwood! Let me tell you, I could write a small essay, if I had the time.

Well time to move on again, cause I definetly don’t hve time for that.

3. Cinder Fall

Now I know that everyone hates this character, that everyone depises her, but I love the idea of Fallen characters, the fact that Cinder is the true embioment of such a complex concept.

Even though her backstory arrived late, and the fact that she had failed so many times, its the fact that Cinder is meant to keep falling, she’s meant to keep being Cinderella, even though she no longer has evil stepsisters, she traded one stepmother for another.

Cinder has earned scars, burns, even a grimm limb for all the things that she had failed to achieve. People say that Cinder has no growth, but the fact that Cinder still has to kill, still has to betray, it shows that she has change, for the worse. The fact that she changed her mindset, only to be kicked down for all that can’t do.

Emerald is one of the few characters that cared about her, and because Cinder killed the only other person that ever felt that way about her, she changed herself to never put herself through something like that again, which is why she probably treats Emerald the way she does. Its all in the sense of mentality.

Time to get to the next character, no need to drag this now.

4. Winter Schnee

God in Heaven help me, why did RT have to make such an interesting woman.

I mean I have trouble picking a character that I like in a show, but Winter fit my description of a hardworking character. She truly reminds me of Jean (Genshin Impact), a woman who goes to lengths, working far harder than she needs to.

But Winter of course is different, like her younger sister, she specializes in Glyhs and the fact that they don’t use heavy weapons. Instead going for more smaller bladed swords, and making every attack count in the long run.

She also teaches the lesson of how hard it is choose duty over family. Even though she loves her family, she still chooses her job over and over again. The fact stands that when she fought against Ironwood, and the fact that Penny chose her to take the winter maiden powers, it was easy to see how much this was going to effect.

At the end of Volume 8, she had to face everyone, including what was left of her family, seeing that Oscar, Emerald, Nora, and Ren were what was left of everyone that she knew.

I bet you she even blames herself for letting Jaune fall.

At the end of the day, she was showed to be such a regal character, that still had the flaws to balance her just perfectly.

Now time for the final faverite of mine.

5. Roman Torchwick

Surprise, Surprise.

Bet you weren’t expecting that. I have to say I wasn’t either, the earlier volumes are my favorite for the fact that I love watching the first episode over and over again for my own amusement.

My personal watching rule is “If I can watch the first episode over and over again, than its a good series”, and since this rule works for both Rwby and Ouran Host Club, I think I’m in the clear here.

So, to the point Torchwick brought something amazing to the show, showing up in all of his mysterious glory, even if early him was rough around the edges.

I liked the fact that Neo and him worked together, bouncing their attack patterns and even their team skills together.

Also the fact that him being caring about her until the end was touching.

Him coming back in Volume 9 was what broke my heart though, like it was lovely to see him doing his thing again, but at the end of the day we all knew that it was an Illusion that he wasn’t coming back to us.

But I loved every second while he was on, and the way that he left was so touching. A departure for the ages.

Well thats the end of this long post, thank you all for reading.

An here’s a final hug to all that read this post.

[princessbella004]

Men will always pit women against each other. I never hated my mom until my dad told me to. In reality she’s never hurt me, but for so long I felt this burning hatred for her because my dad always told me I should. We’d snicker and sneer under our breath, women were so beneath us. That was my problem, I was not yet a woman. I never knew the ways my dad looked down upon the very thing I would one day become. I believed that I was different, because I kept my hair short and I ran freely through the woods. I thought I was different because I didn’t get my nails done like my sister. I thought I wasn’t one of those stupid women my dad taught me to hate so much. Any problem I have with my mom stems from my dad, to this day I’ll never be mad at her or how she treats me unless my dad is involved. Her actions aren’t always justified but I understand the yearning to have the man in your life make you feel like less of a stupid woman. To this day I find joy in a flat chest, a high grade and unshaven legs. I find joy in being disconnected from my femininity. I remember my dad telling me one day, during one of our talks, that all women offer are their physical assets. In order for me to be successful I must be as much as a man as possible. Talk like a man, walk like a man, swear like a man. When I felt the bloom of breasts on my chest and the curve in my hips I would sigh at the thought of being a stupid woman. A pawn. A pawn for men to use. I think the reason why my mom and I have conflict at times is because I fight my dad for her love. When she loves him it builds envy in me, he’s winning. He loves to see his control on her grow while I am left to sink. I am a jealous creature. A jealous woman. I was taught at birth by him to loathe women. They’re manipulators after all. He told me my mind is so weak and fragile, so easy to brainwash. I, as his daughter was his greatest let down. I was born and he realized he wouldn’t get his son. He saw that he needed to take me from my mothers arms and turn me into his thing. I’ve always been a thing for men. Life is filled with cycles and that is mine. Men find me and use me, they discard me like nothing. Many women feel a disconnection to their identity because the dynamic between a mother and a daughter is complicated. Many mothers project themselves onto their daughters. For me, my identity cracked the day told me the way I was born would be the reason for my very demise. The day he told me my mother never loved me and that if I loved her I would be a fool. My mother and I finally bonded the day my dad realized I was a woman after all and he turned on me too. I’ll always root my issues to my father. Without him who knows how my mother and I would get along. Maybe she’d be like all the mothers I hear people talk about, maybe we’d be horrible. All I know is that my dads hatred for our femininity has made us find solace in each others difference. Every argument ends in an embrace and a talk where we whisper apologies to on another. All because a man has reminded us that all we have is each other.

[itsmaferart]

Twiyor Parallelism #3.1 ~· Twilight father figures

This contains spoilers for the manga.

In my previous post do a couple of analysis of Twilight and Yor individually, detailing individual aspects of their personality and the conflict that raises each character in their background. Now, I want to develop an analysis that will be divided into several parts, about these characters at the point where they are similar and opposite to each other, and how their dynamics develop. I clarify, that this is based on the manga and my own point of view, being my own theories of what it means - but this can change, depending on the course that follows the manga that is in issue. That being said, let's get started!

Continuing another aspect of Twiyor's childhood.

The relationship we have with our parents is a fundamental aspect of our development. Even if this happens unconsciously, and we do not realize how our parents affect us

Twilight:

At the beginning of the manga, Twilight's family is a topic which is not touched on directly. They only give us to understand that Twilight lost everything at a young age. Twilight clearly suffers from irritation when he sees a crying child (Anya), as it is an irritable and pointless act. We know that part of Twilight's sternness about Anya's studies occurs because of the Strix mission. He needs her to be a good student to be able to enter and that this allows him to access the meetings of parents, of imperial academics.

Then, it is revealed to us that the real reason for the infant crying is an annoyance. It's because Twilight is projected onto Anya. It reminds him that he was once a child, and that he too was vulnerable and no one was there for him.

But, when we know Twilight's childhood. We can learn more about this complex:

Twilight's father

When Twilight mentions his father to his friends. His first adjective about him is that he is very "strict", with a face that reflects nerves. This is most noticeable when the first action of (Deleted) is to hide the toy gun so that his father does not see it. Interestingly, his father is perceptive and immediately deduces that he was "playing soldier"

Here, it is revealed to us that this man not only rejects the idea that "his son" admires and has fantasies about war and soldiers. But also, it requires he to focus more on studies and think about the future.

Here, something very curious happens. Twilight's father refers to him as a "coward". Which immediately produces a reaction in (Deleted). The little boy not only reaffirms wanting to be a soldier, he wants to show that he can fight, therefore, he wants to prove to his father that he is not the coward he claims.

[Precisely, in the same arc. Twilight's friends refer to him as "crybaby]

It is here, when we see that the father, wanting to reaffirm his rejection and displeasure, ends up slapping his son. He reaffirms that "he is just ignorant", that he knows nothing about Ostania. Since he has never seen the supposed monsters.

Now: I think we can say that Twilight's relationship with her father is difficult and contentious.

For starters... Why does Twilight like the idea of ​​being a soldier?

Beyond being a child. The atmosphere surrounding Twilight was one filled with "war paranoia." Although we are children, from an early age we are able to absorb what is happening around us, even if we do not understand the implications. Fashions, trends, and everything that is in the lives of young people and adults, affects children. The media and the topics of conversation of adults are generating patterns in children. Due to the paranoia of war, Twilight and his friends most likely heard about war and soldiers many times. Whether they were defined as heroes or not.

This is very similar to how Anya likes spies. At a time when spies are wanted in Ostania. Appearing both on children's television shows (Bondman), or on the news by the SSS who capture anyone suspected of being spies.

Twilight and his friends like the idea of ​​being soldiers and going to war because they absorb the events around them but from the perspective of an innocent child. I think it's obvious to say that none of them wanted war or tragedies. Because they didn't "understand" what it meant

The real problem lay in the poor communication he had with his father and the violent and unnecessary methods that Twilight's father had with him.

It's sad how Twilight, when going to lock himself in his room. Sad, angry and frustrated. Twilight mentions how "hypocritical" his father becomes, since he speaks of peace but argues with his mother— Longing for peace in the world but not peace at home

But... really Twilight's father was bad?

Really, I don't think he was someone really evil. But his parenting methods were perhaps... the worst. When Twilight lies about going to buy a book. His father seems genuinely happy. Triggering a huge guilt. At that point, he showed genuine signs of joy and wanting to spend more time with him.

I get the impression that this man's lessons are good, and his intentions are genuine. But he did not know how to understand, or understand his son, much less make his lessons understand.

It is wrong to yearn for war. Especially if this is a whim, ideology, or ambition. This is a lesson that Twilight, being a soldier and a spy, understands. But, the father could not understand that Twilight only did this because it was the game of the time. In addition, he was only infatuated with being a soldier to see the way his father made him feel inferior

Twilight suffered from an emotional ambivalence. Obviously, Twilight doesn't know how to explain himself, because he was just a kid and didn't know how to express his needs. His goal was not to be a soldier, but to have his father's love and support. To feel that he could be the same with him, and be accepted.

His friends were an escape. A place where he can be himself and unfold his own repressed potential— Notice how good he is at acting with his games?

I think Twilight's father thought that if he made his child feel inferior, calling him a coward. He would give up being a soldier. -For some parents, this is a supposed strategy so that their children do not do something that could be dangerous. But they don't realize the psychological and emotional damage it causes to their children's self-esteem

The cause is good, but the method is very bad.

Here, there are two things that seem ironic and curious to me:

Twilight ended up becoming a soldier. Obviously, this was because of events that we already know. But it's ironic, how we end up, sometimes, in what they ask us never to be. Twilight ended up experiencing the tragedy caused by the Ostanians if he ended up becoming that hate-filled, pain-blind soldier who vows to destroy all of Ostania. Obviously, this happened because of the attack on the place where he lived. But it wasn't until many years later, when Twilight had to understand how terrible war was and that peace should be longed for. He ended up learning the same lesson as his father, but in the worst way

The second. It strikes me how emphatic his father was in the Twilight studios. The current Twilight, the spy, is a complete genius. Not only is he a born actor, but he also has an impressive deductive capacity, and an eidetic memory. It makes me believe that the difficult relationship between Twilight and his father was something that clouded the intelligence of this child. That man had no idea of ​​the genius he had, and the potential. But being so harsh with him only held Twilight back. And it was WISE that ended up taking advantage of this value.

Now in the present

You know what is ironic? As Twilight he is inadvertently learning from his father's mistakes. And try not to repeat it. He corrects many of these errors, on his own initiative, and another part is the influence that Yor has on him.

Twilight is much more severe compared to Yor. But himself, he begins to discern the limits of how much he can or cannot demand of Anya. Yes, yes, it's for the mission. But if you think about it... Twilight could be a much more cruel and strict father with Anya. After all, he needs it for the mission, for world peace. And the fact that Anya has won more tonitrus that stellas

Twilight, from the beginning, could only abandon Anya seeing that she really is not that applied to studies. Or he could resort to crueler methods - They remember Fiona and her fantasies of turning Anya into a star-making machine?

It's true, he doesn't want Anya to give up her studies because of the mission, but he also cares about her happiness. Many biological parents show no interest in their children's achievements, even if they are really merits of their own. They can only say "That is your duty", or "it is the least you could do" - Damian and Desmond relationship... remember?

Knowing that we can see Twilight's thoughts. We see that he is genuinely proud of Anya, when she passed the entrance exam, or when she won her first stella. When she affirms how wonderful he is as a father, and that he wants to be by his side forever... When was he about to explode when they made her cry?

The way Twilight talks with Desmond... That, although sometimes it's not easy... parents should find a way to understand each other with their children no matter how different they are. Anya wants to be a spy. Perhaps this is more fantasy than reality, considering how dangerous it is. But Twilight usually lets her be, and doesn't try to harass her for her fantasies.

Very surely, this is something unconscious in him. But his desire to be a good father is something that is born from him and it is not only because of the mission.

[This post has already become very long, so I will talk about the mother figure in another post. And about Yoru in others]

Here you can read the next part

Previous part here

.

.

what do you think?

[stanfordsweater]

people also project their daddy issues onto John, i find. he’s not allowed any dimension, i’ve come across so many fics where he’s drunk off his face constantly, where he’s verbally and physically abusive, and it absolutely bleeds into people’s versions of what canon is. same with Sam.

yeah, i totally agree with that and i think that characterizing john as cartoonishly abusive gets in the way of any kind of good-will reading of the show. i get it, because he's a character ripe for flattening-- he's barely present in the flashback episodes outside of something wicked, where he appears to remind dean to take care of (a hilariously depressed) young sam and then to show how traumatized dean is by the shtriga attacking his brother. john is more present in the show in his absence, weird as that sounds. he dies in the first episode of season two, but the consequences his behaviour has on sam and dean means that he's still one of the most memorable characters in spn, as well as the most controversial character on the show.

i think most of john’s actions stem from fear that sam and dean will be killed like mary was, and he’s manipulated by heaven and hell to bring sam and dean to the point they need to be in order to house michael and lucifer. john’s love for mary was engineered by heaven, him hunting azazel was a part of his plan the whole time, and he clearly has a lot of love for his sons-- see him crying, talking to sam in dead man’s blood and in my time of dying (can we not fight?), the way he hugs dean, the way he always talks about leaving them behind to “keep them safe...”

but. but but but.

one of my favourite things about john is that he is really complex, and i don’t think it’s fair to say that he isn’t verbally abusive.

john’s taking out his anger at sam for questioning him/frustration and feelings of failure that they may be too late to save the vampires’ victims... on dean. these things are not his fault, and dean has done nothing but obey john’s orders for this entire case, and yet...

it’s not something any of the winchester’s seem surprised by. sam gives dean this kind of can you believe it? look, and dean shrugs it off. this is a very common dynamic in abusive families, where the abuser takes out their emotions on other family members. this is not okay. john is not behaving as an ideal father. he also has a whole second family as of season four, one that he visited once a year, leaving adam with some serious abandonment issues. all around not a great look.

so, do i blame people for extrapolating deeper abuse from these interactions? no, i don’t. that being said, john being physically abusive or an alcoholic is not canon. at worst, canonically, john is a functional alcoholic by consequence of the job, like the majority of hunters, dean, probably sam, and about 9 million people in the us as of 2007. he’s a complicated man, and he only becomes more complicated as time heals sam and dean’s wounds and blurs their memories, but john was never (canonically) a violent alcoholic. at the same time, he wasn’t winning any parenting awards, regardless of his best intentions. that’s the tragedy of john winchester, and it’s a theme that repeats throughout the entire show.

[dickgraysonexchange]

Back again for Day 2 of treats! So many wonderful things—how are we going to read them all?

Don’t forget to kudos and comment on your gift to show your giftor some love!

STOP for WALKEROFTHESTARS [Fic, Explicit, Rape/Non-Con]

Dick/Slade Wilson

Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Harm, Sensory Overload, Straitjacket, Orgasm Denial, Serum Fic, Non-Consensual Oral Sex, Rough Oral Sex, Crying, Hand Jobs, Overstimulation, Come Shot, Whump, Dick Grayson Has a Bad Time, Slade Wilson is a Dick

Dick's senses are overwhelmed after he's injected with the super serum. Slade helps make the pain stop.

PROFESSOR HWANG for WITHTHEKEYISKING [Fic, Explicit, Underage]

Dick/Eddie Hwang

Alternate Universe - High School, Power Imbalance, Teacher-Student Relationship, Forced Feminization, Women's Underwear, Intercrural Sex, Masturbation, Blow Jobs, Semi-Public Sex

Eddie Hwang was everyone's favorite professor, and Dick was going to do anything he asked.

BELONGING for NYXKVISTAD [Fic, Explicit, Rape/Non-Con, Underage]

Dick/Thomas Wayne, Dick/Bruce Wayne, Dick/Damian Wayne

Alternate Universe - No Capes, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Extremely Dubious Consent, Maid Dick Grayson, Omega Dick Grayson, Abuse of Authority, Objectification, Boys in Skirts, Panties, Groping, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Rough Sex, Wall Sex, Lap Sex, Forced Orgasm, Knotting, Fingerfucking, Overstimulation, Breeding Kink, Size Kink, Sex Toys Under Clothing, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Non-Consensual Somnophilia, Breeding, Pregnancy Kink, Pregnant Sex

Dick thought getting a job at Wayne Manor was a dream come true.

And it might be, if the Waynes weren't so...hands-on.

THE SUM OF ONE’S LIFE for FREAKEDELIC [Fic, Explicit, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death]

Dick & Slade Wilson

Blood and Gore, Torture, Mercy Killing, Angst, Unhappy Ending, Morally Gray Slade Wilson

‘Slade’s killed hundreds of men before, he knows exactly where to cut to end this quickly. Dick’s already lost so much blood, it won’t take long.’

I’LL SETTLE FOR THE GHOST OF YOU for SCARLETTSWORDMOON [Fic, Explicit, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings]

Dick/Raptor

Identity Issues, Unreliable Narrator, Raptor Has Issues, Past Character Death, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Sex, Obsessive Behavior, Stalking, Delusions, Dubious Consent, Rape/Non-con Elements, Gentle Sex, Anal Sex, Praise Kink, Rough Sex, Degradation, Biting, Creampie

Sometimes, Dick reminds Raptor so strongly of Mary.

Other times, he reminds him so much of John.

TWO ON ONE IS HARDLY FAIR for WEDNESDAY [Fic, Explicit, Rape/Non-Con]

Dick/Jason Todd/Slade Wilson

Sex Pollen, Poison Ivy's Pollen, Depictions of Rape/Non-con, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Slade Wilson is Deathstroke, Slade Wilson is a Dick, Slade Wilson is a Horrible Person, Double Penetration in One Hole, No Lube, Hurt No Comfort, Inappropriate Use of Dick Grayson's Escrima Sticks, Scars, Whump, Angst, Gun Kink, Knife Kink, Handcuffed, Double Anal Penetration, Anal Sex, Forced Orgasm, Blowjobs

Jason gets hit with Ivy's pollen, and maybe Dick could have handle it if Slade hadn't shown up.

THE SCALES OF JUSTICE for HEIZLE [Fic, Explicit, Rape/Non-Con]

Dick/Slade Wilson

Xenobestiality, Alternate Universe - Dragons, Breeding Kink, but no actual breeding, Size Difference, Dragon Culture, Choking, Slade's Code of Honor is Complicated, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, For Dragons, Egg References, Suicidal Ideation, Verbal Humiliation, Overstimulation, Jewelry as Anal Beads, Gags

Dick slays a dragon that threatens to burn their village. The dragon's father, Slade, demands Dick as reparation for killing his son.

TWO CRABS IN A BUCKET for TETRODOTOXINS [Fic, Explicit, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage]

Dick/Tara Markov

Dick Grayson/Slade Wilson, Tara Markov/Slade Wilson, Trans Dick Grayson, Sparring-To-Sex, Slurs, Slut Shaming, Dubious Consent, Minor Dick Grayson/Koriand'r, Oral Sex, Victim Blaming

It's been months since Dick agreed to be Slade's apprentice - months of grueling training, cruel punishment, and Slade assaulting him. Tara has been here for almost a year, somehow both a thorn in his side and a buffer between him and Slade.

This happening makes, admittedly, some sort of twisted sense.

THE BEST PLAN FOR A FRIDAY NIGHT for NIGHTWANG [Fic, Explicit, No Archive Warnings Apply]

Dick/Oliver Queen/Dinah Lance

Pegging, Anal Sex, Tit Worship, Double Penetration in One Hole, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Creampie, Riding

Dick had asked Oliver and Dinah for help. They had accepted, and, after a night that left them high on adrenaline, they didn't declined the invitation to crash on his place.

AFTER for WITHTHEKEYISKING [Fic, Explicit, Rape/Non-Con, Underage]

Dick/Roman Sionis, Dick & Slade Wilson

High School, Alternate Universe - High School, Rape/Non-con Elements, Blackmail, Underage Sex, Teacher-Student Relationship, Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Desk Sex, Slut Shaming, Homophobic Language, Victim Blaming, Anal Sex, Roman is an ass, Slade is probably too nice, background JayDick

Mr. Sionis asks Dick to stay after class.

NIGHTSPIDER for WITHTHEKEYISKING [Art, General Audiences, No Archive Warnings Apply]

Dick Grayson

Digital Art, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions

Digital art of Ben Grayson.

[butterflies-dragons]

"Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." This is the very first line of Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy and GRRM is very aware of these words; so far he has mentioned it in reference of Sansa Stark and Jon Snow:

Arya was one of the first characters created. Sansa came about as a total opposite b/c too many of the Stark family members were getting along and families aren’t like that. Thus, Sansa was created; he ended by saying they have deep issues to work out. [Source]

An interesting question was “Why are there so many sons who are unloved by their fathers, like Sam, Jon, Tyrion and Theon?” I watched George’s reaction carefully (I was sitting close to him) and he did not take issue with the assumption that Jon Snow is part of the “unloved sons” (obviously the dynamic talked about is Jon/Eddard, not Rhaegar). He nodded at the question and said that he does not have the full quote with him, but the great Russian writer Tolstoy once said that happy families are boring  - this was followed by a big round of applause cause every Russian knows this quote very well (the quote by Tolstoy is: All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. [Source]

And recently I found another similarity with Tolstoy's work and Sansa.

In spite of the obvious differences, Sansa Stark, the betrothed of the Crown Prince Joffrey Baratheon, showing her evident crush and concern about Ser Loras Tyrell's safety during the Hand's Tourney, reminds me of Anna Karenina making evident her illicit affair with Count Vronsky in front of everyone, her husband Alexey Alexandrovitch Karenin included, during the races:

She flew over the ditch as though not noticing it. She flew over it like a bird; but at the same instant Vronsky, to his horror, felt that he had failed to keep up with the mare’s pace, that he had, he did not know how, made a fearful, unpardonable mistake, in recovering his seat in the saddle. All at once his position had shifted and he knew that something awful had happened. He could not yet make out what had happened, when the white legs of a chestnut horse flashed by close to him, and Mahotin passed at a swift gallop. Vronsky was touching the ground with one foot, and his mare was sinking on that foot. He just had time to free his leg when she fell on one side, gasping painfully, and, making vain efforts to rise with her delicate, soaking neck, she fluttered on the ground at his feet like a shot bird. The clumsy movement made by Vronsky had broken her back. But that he only knew much later. At that moment he knew only that Mahotin had flown swiftly by, while he stood staggering alone on the muddy, motionless ground, and Frou-Frou lay gasping before him, bending her head back and gazing at him with her exquisite eyes. Still unable to realize what had happened, Vronsky tugged at his mare’s reins. Again she struggled all over like a fish, and her shoulders setting the saddle heaving, she rose on her front legs but unable to lift her back, she quivered all over and again fell on her side. With a face hideous with passion, his lower jaw trembling, and his cheeks white, Vronsky kicked her with his heel in the stomach and again fell to tugging at the rein. She did not stir, but thrusting her nose into the ground, she simply gazed at her master with her speaking eyes.

“A—a—a!” groaned Vronsky, clutching at his head. “Ah! what have I done!” he cried. “The race lost! And my fault! shameful, unpardonable! And the poor darling, ruined mare! Ah! what have I done!”

—Anna Karenina, Part Two, Chapter 25 - Leo Tolstoy

Everyone was loudly expressing disapprobation, everyone was repeating a phrase someone had uttered—“The lions and gladiators will be the next thing,” and everyone was feeling horrified; so that when Vronsky fell to the ground, and Anna moaned aloud, there was nothing very out of the way in it. But afterwards a change came over Anna’s face which really was beyond decorum. She utterly lost her head. She began fluttering like a caged bird, at one moment would have got up and moved away, at the next turned to Betsy.

“Let us go, let us go!” she said.

But Betsy did not hear her. She was bending down, talking to a general who had come up to her.

Alexey Alexandrovitch went up to Anna and courteously offered her his arm.

“Let us go, if you like,” he said in French, but Anna was listening to the general and did not notice her husband.

“He’s broken his leg too, so they say,” the general was saying. “This is beyond everything.”

Without answering her husband, Anna lifted her opera-glass and gazed towards the place where Vronsky had fallen; but it was so far off, and there was such a crowd of people about it, that she could make out nothing. She laid down the opera-glass, and would have moved away, but at that moment an officer galloped up and made some announcement to the Tsar. Anna craned forward, listening.

“Stiva! Stiva!” she cried to her brother.

But her brother did not hear her. Again she would have moved away.

“Once more I offer you my arm if you want to be going,” said Alexey Alexandrovitch, reaching towards her hand.

She drew back from him with aversion, and without looking in his face answered:

“No, no, let me be, I’ll stay.”

She saw now that from the place of Vronsky’s accident an officer was running across the course towards the pavilion. Betsy waved her handkerchief to him. The officer brought the news that the rider was not killed, but the horse had broken its back.

On hearing this Anna sat down hurriedly, and hid her face in her fan. Alexey Alexandrovitch saw that she was weeping, and could not control her tears, nor even the sobs that were shaking her bosom. Alexey Alexandrovitch stood so as to screen her, giving her time to recover herself.

“For the third time I offer you my arm,” he said to her after a little time, turning to her. Anna gazed at him and did not know what to say. Princess Betsy came to her rescue.

“No, Alexey Alexandrovitch; I brought Anna and I promised to take her home,” put in Betsy.

“Excuse me, princess,” he said, smiling courteously but looking her very firmly in the face, “but I see that Anna’s not very well, and I wish her to come home with me.”

Anna looked about her in a frightened way, got up submissively, and laid her hand on her husband’s arm.

“I’ll send to him and find out, and let you know,” Betsy whispered to her.

—Anna Karenina, Part Two, Chapter 29 - Leo Tolstoy

* * *

When the Knight of Flowers made his entrance, a murmur ran through the crowd, and he heard Sansa’s fervent whisper, “Oh, he’s so beautiful.” Ser Loras Tyrell was slender as a reed, dressed in a suit of fabulous silver armor polished to a blinding sheen and filigreed with twining black vines and tiny blue forget-me-nots. The commons realized in the same instant as Ned that the blue of the flowers came from sapphires; a gasp went up from a thousand throats. Across the boy’s shoulders his cloak hung heavy. It was woven of forget-me-nots, real ones, hundreds of fresh blooms sewn to a heavy woolen cape.

“His courser was as slim as her rider, a beautiful grey mare, built for speed. Ser Gregor’s huge stallion trumpeted as he caught her scent. The boy from Highgarden did something with his legs, and his horse pranced sideways, nimble as a dancer. Sansa clutched at his arm. “Father, don’t let Ser Gregor hurt him,” she said. Ned saw she was wearing the rose that Ser Loras had given her yesterday. Jory had told him about that as well.

“These are tourney lances,” he told his daughter. “They make them to splinter on impact, so no one is hurt.” Yet he remembered the dead boy in the cart with his cloak of crescent moons, and the words were raw in his throat.

(...) Gregor Clegane killed the horse with a single blow of such ferocity that it half severed the animal’s neck. Cheers turned to shrieks in a heartbeat. The stallion went to its knees, screaming as it died. By then Gregor was striding down the lists toward Ser Loras Tyrell, his bloody sword clutched in his fist. “Stop him!” Ned shouted, but his words were lost in the roar. Everyone else was yelling as well, and Sansa was crying.

—A Game of Thrones - Eddard VII

This similarity could be nothing of course, but I can't help myself finding Sansa in everything I read, like it happened with Eugénie Grandet by Honoré de Balzac.

Also Count Vronsky's mare Frou-Frou, somehow reminds me of Lady.

[c-is-for-circinate]

Ok, Hades gameplay reaction time!

(Because I have been terrible this quarantine year about posting thoughts about stories I've been invested in, and I'm really enjoying this game, and I'm playing basically blind and I have theories, and what is tumblr for if not recording those things to look back on later.)

I love this specific kind of fantasy/speculative fiction, that straddles the line between 'allegory clearly designed to explore a real-world issue' and 'the themes of this reflect real-world issues but also everything is times one million for drama and setting's sake'. I love it so much. Because, look, this is a story about a teenager/young adult trying to gather up the skills and resources and help he needs to escape his controlling, possessive, emotionally abusive father's house. That's it. Strip away all of the trappings, and that's what the story is about. By comparison, I think about Star Wars. (I love Star Wars too.) That's also a story about a dysfunctional fucked-up family dynamic. But that family is fucked up because dad went on a magic-corruption-induced killing spree, and his twin children were separated at birth to be raised in seclusion with the intention of someday taking him down, and look, that's cool, but it's definitely not how people actually are. All of the dysfunction in that family is an outgrowth of the fantastical setting, which means it is fantastical dysfunction. It can occasionally mirror or remind us of real-life interactions, but it's a fantasy. Which is great and fun to watch and very comforting and so on, but I don't necessarily want that in every story, and I love Hades because it is not that, at all. When you extend out the basic 'kid trying to escape his toxic home environment', Hades is the story of Zagreus trying to get out with the help of his dad's estranged, complicated, wealthy and powerful family, who are absolutely part of the reason why dad is Like That in the first place, and may not be any more reliable in the long run but who he needs right now. And his stepmom and teacher, who love him enough to help him leave, unconditionally and supportively (ask me how many feelings I have about 'look, Hades can't hurt me for helping you, don't worry about me, I am going to take care of you and that means helping you get out of this house' coming from an adult authority figure, ask me). And his dad's employees, who like him but also have to fear the old man's wrath, and walk that line in different places the best they can. And stepmom's long-estranged parent, because this is a story about families and how they split apart and come back together. And all of that is so real, so grounded in actual, concrete, this-is-how-humans-work family dynamics. But it's also individual. The story works so well because Hades isn't just a silhouette of the controlling asshole father; he is clearly The Way He Is for reasons, complicated ones, good and bad alike. The Way He Is has details, particularities, paperwork, a dog he pretends not to love and rely on. He is specific. Nyx and Achilles are specific, not just generic kind stepmom here to be a trope inversion and cardboard cutout teacher. Nyx has backstory and personality of her own, Achilles has a complex history, opinions, a missing lover, and they BOTH have very particular relationships with Hades that aren't just boilerplate script. Yes, there's abstraction there, you meet these characters in brief visual novel-esque three-line conversations over the course of dozens of escape runs, of course there's abstraction--but there's the very real sense that all of these people have nuance, have good and bad days, that they've made choices to be who they are, even if we don't know what those choices are yet. And, like Star Wars, some of the ways in which this story is so specific rely entirely on the fact of the otherworldly setting! I've seen stories that go the other way, that try to use their setting entirely as window dressing, and they end up feeling so flat I can't even remember them right now because they don't let the environment lend complexity and nuance to their characters at all. The environment these characters live in matters. The absolute control Hades exerts over his surroundings is a divine power. The fact that everyone Zag runs into, for or against him, is either immortal or immortally dead, changes how the react to

one another and to the situation at hand. The shape of his attempted escapes (gauntlet combat with a variety of legendary weapons) might be an allegorical construct of the genre, true, but it doesn't work in any sort of real-world setting where there exists the possibility of authority figures above or aside from Hades and his extended fucked-up family. That's part of why the family is so fucked-up in the first place. But these changes still fit well within the realm of, 'yeah, if you took this extremely real-life dynamic and added these factors to it, I can envision people doing this thing'. I can envision these specific people doing this thing. They add to the specificity of these characters. Letting them be influenced by their unreal surroundings makes them more real. So hell yes for good storytelling!!!!

I'm still relatively early in the game (by which I mean I'm like thirty runs in but only just got past Meg for the third time, because I am not good at this game, although in my defense it's only the seventh video game and second button-mashing game I have ever played in my life so there's that), but I'm starting to develop suspicions about Persephone. Because, look, outside of Persephone's absence from the underworld, this story knows its Greek mythology, uses it, revels in it. And there is some kind of mystery still shrouding Persephone leaving in the first place. She left a goodbye to Cerberus in her letter but not to her own son. Nyx has warned Zagreus multiple times not to let the Olympians know she's his mother. He literally never even knew she existed. That's complicated! Add to that, Persephone left--the exact thing we are trying and failing to do again and again and again. She left with one note, which means either she managed a one-shot speedrun out of the entire realm or she had some other way to leave, because if she'd washed up in the Styx pool to plod back to her room and try again, she wouldn't've needed to leave the note in the first place. And, you know, she's Persephone. Really quite famous for leaving the Underworld! Also quite famous for being forced back. So. I'm wondering if Zagreus, so conspicuously absent from her goodbye, has something to do with it after all. Six pomegranate seeds condemned Persephone to six months, half a year, half her life. I wonder if a child that's half of her her constitutes a fitting trade instead. Which, of course Hades would be even more resentful and dismissive and cruel to the kid he got in place of the wife he loved (who he chased away by being cold in the first place). Of course Persephone would have difficulty saying goodbye to her son in those circumstances. It would make sense. The tricky thing here is how the Olympians fit into it, because I also suspect the rift between Hades and Zeus sprang from Persephone's departure. And yet, if the Olympians never knew Zagreus existed, let alone that he's Persephone's son--how can he count as payment into the deal in their eyes? So in that case, what does Zeus think is the justification for Persephone leaving, after the pomegranate thing? Or are we just not doing the pomegranate thing at all? It would be a shame to lose it entirely, out of a story that really seems to enjoy the myths it's playing with. And there should be something complex here, something more than simply 'mom fucked off and left because dad sucked and now I'm following her because same'. It feels more complex than that. 'Mom and dad had a baby to try and save their marriage, it didn't work, but when mom left she had to leave me behind because otherwise dad would have gotten the cops and her extended family involved' feels more right, while still just as grounded in reality as the story has been so far.

I sort of want to write some meta about how each of the six legendary weapons corresponds to their original divine wielder, but I haven't unlocked all of their codex entries yet (look I am very bad with ranged weapons in this game ok, I am working on it), and I still need to think about the details. Aside from, of course, fuck yes of course Hestia's the one with the railgun. Leave drama and elegance and traditional weaponry to her brothers and sister (Demeter, who knows how to get her hands dirty, gets a pass). Hestia is out here to get shit done. With a grenade launcher.

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

it wasn’t power i coveted; it was acceptance.

Titans 3.06

y’know, i was just thinking the other day that 1.06/1.07 and 2.06/2.07 were the best episodes of their respective seasons, so i have great hopes going in to this one. fingers crossed!

as always, typing this up as i see the episode.

SPOILERS AHEAD

1. oh! um... that was a Cold Open, all right. *nudges* get it? cold? because it’s snowing? and two people got murdered in cold blood? eh?

... oh, i’ve just started.

1.5. i wonder if “i want to be sipping pina coladas on a beach with you” is the new “i’m just one day away from retiring.” i was so on edge after that--i kept expecting that car to explode. even so, the way they died wasn’t an anticlimax: brutal, and quick. 

1.75. so i’m assuming that’s the titular lady vic! this show better bring up why this doll was important or why these two cops needed to be killed, and not leave it to the ether like jericho’s little mindscape jaunt in 2.08 (i’m still dying to know what that was about???)

2.

i love how deliberately unappealing wayne manor is. 

(sorry for the pic quality. i don’t have hbo max! ssshhh.)

2.3. i love the many references to “home” and “our house” when they’ve been here for less than a week and saw one of their friends get blown into pieces. i mean, i unironically love it: home is where family is, after all!

2.5. i’d like to say that kom is playing some sort of long game here, especially given the build-up we had last season and some of the more niggling details this season: why did kom choose now to use her bond to lure kory when she’s been on earth for months? why did justin call kory now, just around the time that she started getting kom’s visions? and what about kom’s ability to exactly imitate other people? hmmm.

2.75. the reason i wrote i’d like to say is that i’ve made the mistake of assuming plot complexity where there is none; i was so invested in the jason todd orchestrated his own death theory for instance, when it turns out that oops! ra’s al ghul just happened to leave a little lazarus puddle in gotham, and oh yeah! scarecrow just happens to have a network of henchmen working for him on the outside and a fully functional laboratory and a weapons cache fit for a new supervillain in the basement of the high security psychiatric unit/prison that he’s in! 

(no i’m not bitter, why do you ask)

2.8. iiiii don’t know what to say about the implications of sex slavery being a thing on tamaran, so i’m not going to say anything at all. for now.

3. gotham, six years ago... wasn’t it five years before s2 that jericho died and the titans disbanded? and when was the flashback from 1.06 where dick let zucco die? i think it was after the events of 2.08: jericho? i can’t seem to find any transcripts or reliable information online, so i’m going to have to rewatch 1.06 at some point. 

(i love the old-fashioned batman music in this heist scene)

3.5. “security is a joke... it’s my way of keeping my dad on his toes”. what you’re an ethical thief now, like an ethical hacker? i don’t think that excuse is going to sell, barbara, on the day you do encounter a decent security system and your father is forced to arrest you.

(then again, gotham’s security is piss-poor. did you know that you could just walk into arkham asylum without any official clearance, ply one of its most dangerous inhabitants with contraband, and said inmate could get away with having an entire laboratory and weapons cache--NO I’M NOT GOING TO LET THIS GO)

3.8 so that flashback between dick and barbara was really cute! and also illuminating:

a) dick sounds so light, so... um. look. i have some apologies to tender to mr thwaites, because while i’ve always thought he does a fine job as dick grayson, i’ve never been terribly fond of his cadence as he delivers dialogue. it’s often monotonous, i thought, but then again, he’s usually delivering exposition or dealing with one soul-crushing crisis or the other. so i was pleasantly surprised to hear dick sound so carefree and alive in his conversation with barbara, laughing frequently, his emotions so bare and bubbling to the surface. it’s really a fantastic contrast to the traumatised and world-weary dick grayson that we see now, even more so than the costume department just bunging a backwards-baseball cap on mr thwaites’ head and hoping that will convince us of his relative youth. 

b) and god, when he wakes up from that memory, all alone in his bed, bleeding from bullet holes in his shoulder (bullet holes that are--in a somewhat convoluted way--barbara’s fault)? yikes. it’s great. you have my apologies, mr thwaites!

c) can you imagine dick just... crawling back to wayne manor, trying not to be seen by anybody, shedding his suit and just... collapsing onto his bed without even tending to his wound? the sheer emotional and physical exhaustion of it? 

d) it’s so interesting to see how barbara and dick approach the idea of legacy--a big theme on the show!--in this flashback. barbara is the one bucking the idea that she should follow in her father’s footsteps, while dick seems pretty content with the batman-and-robin setup, and even tries to get barbara to join their team (robin-girl. pfffft). obviously after this several traumatic things happen wherein dick ends up questioning and then resenting his role as robin, his relationship with batman or even returning as a vigilante at all. and barbara... ends up replacing her father as commissioner. it’s tragic, really. 

e) the dynamic between dick and barbara in the flashback reminds me of how it was between dick and donna in 1.08 and even between kory and dick in early s1. it’s like having an older, strong-willed woman by his side means he gives over the steering wheel for a while and lets himself... unspool, a little bit. it’s kinda endearing.

also:

*pinches his cheeks*

3. you know, we talk about dick and Eldest Daughter Syndrome, and that’s definitely valid, but here gar seems to me the embodiment of it, with all the emotional gardening and firefighting that he’s expected to do. he’s kind of the guy expected to keep his shit together and take care of everyone else while they are falling completely to pieces, unable to carve out time to process his own trauma. he’s also picked up dick’s and kory’s tendencies to bottle up their struggles and shun appearing vulnerable, and he’s struggling in the shadow of both dick and kory undergoing acute crises, his best friend (and frequent confidante) on the other side of the world, and seeing hank die, utterly helpless to stop it. 

i’m glad that he got a chance to tell dick even a smidgeon of what he really feels, and i hope this is at least a semblance of a wake up call for dick to actually sit down and work with the people he repeatedly calls family.

3.5. it’s heartening to see that dick immediately makes it his priority to go talk to gar. but don’t blow off kory in the process, man!

4. i’m really loving this dynamic between kom and conner--i get the idea that both of them consider each other as Unknowns, alien two times over. but conner’s only ever known the titans, who embrace being different, and kom’s only ever known... well. 

anyway, kory is Really Stressed, and honestly? #relatable. 

when you’re forced to bring an estranged family member to hang out with your friends...

4.5. i love that the titans are spending so much time in the kitchen. a real family!

5. jonathan crane is a creep and i absolutely cannot stand him.

5.25. how did he get a whole lab setup (in the basement of a hospital...?) with a bunch of whitecoats to work for him? how did he just waltz into the viewing room of an operation theatre when he’s one of the most wanted men in gotham right now? why is jason wandering around maskless when--presumably--as the adopted son of the most famous person in gotham he’d be a tad more recognisable than your average joe?

why do i expect this show to answer anything anymore?

5.5. that’s not necessarily a criticism, mind; i’ve said since season 1 that titans is very comics-like in this aspect, all about the Aesthetic and the splash-page splendour rather than the niggling unimportant details of how or when the characters got to said location. like. the camera gliding over the operation being set-up, lady vic bursting in and doing her murder dance (imagine the luck of the poor intern who chose this day and this surgery to assist) and jason, shocked and slack-jawed, framed by blood.

5.75. it’s a sobering reminder for jason that, though he chose this path in order to gain control over a world that seemed like it was rapidly spinning out of his grip, he’s only succeeded in handing over even more control to a man with an agenda that is very clearly not aligned with his own. he’s in too far to stop now, though.

5.9. i have a lot more thoughts about jason! saving it up for the end of this recap, though.

6. more kitchen time! i better see dick do some cooking soon...

(”our kitchen”! it still delights me! kitchens are So Important)

6.25. so much of dick’s issues have revolved around his relationship with bruce, so it’s completely understandable that in the wake of a huge crisis where bruce literally asks dick to replace him and be a “better” him, dick would default to all the worst things he learned from the man. and i’m glad kory’s having none of it, but come on, guys. the woman’s literally fetched her fratricidal sister out of a hole in the ground with no idea what said sister is going to do next and experiencing a burgeoning sense of guilt far, far beyond her history with the titans, and dick’s too far into his autocolonoscopy that he can’t see that she needs help.

6.5. “he services your urges”--well, as far as we know, kory is the last person he had sex with...

7. “i hope [gar] isn’t angry with me...” SIR! i thought you’d already spoken to him! smh, as the kids say. kory wouldn’t be needing to reassure you if you just took the effort to build two way emotional relationships with the rest of the team. @superohclair​ was taking about dick’s relatively low emotional intelligence? i agree.

7.5. “i got my own problems [...] you and barbara? fix it.” YOU TELL HIM, KORY

8. man i really like this weird, sad tension between dick and barbara--this sense that both of them are approaching the other based on how they remember them and are ultimately disappointed by the truth. barbara thought she could trust dick to... well, be a better batman, but dick has not only failed at that in her eyes, but repeatedly undermined her while exploiting the authority that she gave him. in dick’s eyes, this is nothing like the barbara that he knew, rebellious and ready to do whatever it takes to find something. 

like. this show sometimes really hits me in the chest about the ways it shows kids grow into adults and into caretakers, and the way it’s stop-start, the ways nothing can happen at all for a long time and then it’s Crisis Central all at once and there’s no space to breathe. the weird sort of sadness that comes with nostalgia. 

8.5. oracle name drop! i agree with barbara, any system that can just randomly tap into gotham phonelines is a monster.

8.7. (i don’t know if it’s my imagination, but is dick holding himself... differently in this episode? like that wound is definitely bothering him, and he’s running on fumes)

9. man, that was a really sweet scene between kom and conner. “feeling alien in your own world”... “not quite here nor there”

honestly this team runs on conner and gar’s faith in their value as a family, and it’s a sign of conner’s generous heart that he extends that opportunity to blackfire. this arc of maturation for him, where he’s now able to consciously choose which parts of himself he can use to do the thing he wants to so--save people--has been so fulfilling to recognise. this baby’s grown with the titans! and what he’s learnt is that people can get fucked up, but the titans is a place where they can be fucked up, and grow.

MY MAN CONNER

10. oh man i’m drinking in the gar-dick interaction in this episode like i’m three days into the desert and it’s the only source of water for miles around!

a) gar is absolutely not dealing with dick’s bullshit this episode and I LOVE IT. it’s such a far cry from the man who was idolising dick/robin back in s1 and expecting him to solve all their problems. dick is fallible, dick is fucked up, but he Tries His Best and that’s ok.

b) dick, huffing and puffing through that vent, unable to put any pressure on his left shoulder, trying to have a heart to heart with gar... fuck i love this asshole. 

c) bruce took in a kid who was suffering... “and made him into a weapon”. well. i absolutely agree with dick that it was bruce who put these kids into these horrible situations with him and they came away with a bucketload of trauma to add to the one that they already had. but we know that bruce was really trying with jason, and at the end of s2, dick was coming to acknowledge that bruce had offered him something that wasn’t just darkness. jason’s death and bruce’s reaction to that shattered that fragile progress.

d) “gotham got to me too.” i feel more sympathetic towards dick running off on his own than most, and it’s not just because i’m an unapologetic stan.  we’ve seen before that dick... devolves when overwhelmed, and he lashes out and makes ill thought out decisions and just Does Not Deal. it happened after hearing the news that deathstroke had returned in s2, and it didn’t help that everyone around him was reeling at the news, either. this time, however, he has his salvation in his family, and despite some stupid decisions like running off and kidnapping supervillains without telling his team, he’s been really on the ball this season. thinking clearly and logically, holding it together and working on a plan, thinking two steps ahead of the villains... yes.

e) gar needing to believe that jason isn’t beyond redemption... there’s a lot of blood on his hands, too, from when he was manipulated by cadmus last season. it makes sense why he’d relate to jason’s predicament, and i hope dick picked up on that.

f) my head just added a plaintive ow after dick jumped feet first into the storage room

i need, crave gifs of this scene!

11. *sits on hands* i’m going to talk more about red hood, i promise!

12. more gar and dick! is it my birthday??!!

(actually, according to the tamil calendar, it is my birthday! my “star” birthday)

12.5. excellent. dick using some implausible training that bruce taught him to solve a mystery? passing some of that knowledge onto gar? that proud smile when he sees gar perfectly execute moves that he taught him? MY HEART IS EXPLODING

13. aw, i love flashback!dick and barbara, they’re so cute <3

13.25. why does it not surprise me that the way he proposes a relationship to barbara is by saying “we make sense”? this guy can deduce exactly who was present where and what weapon they were holding from a garbled audio recording but other times he’s utterly clueless, and that’s a consistent character beat right from s1

13.5. so.... that’s why lady vic has it out for... barbara....? i don’t get it. it’s flimsy. but hey! the fun thing about titans is that i don’t have to get it. the payoff has nothing to do with the plot.

14. i can’t believe that barbara fell for that, but at least that wheelchair fight looked awesome, so.

15. oh yeah, i forgot that red hood bullied the mob into helping him and scarecrow... at least that explains the whitecoats and the elaborate set-up.

15.5. honestly i love how this dynamic between kory and kom is developing, though i wish more of the team would pay attention to it. time to call justin, i think!

16. i wonder what happened after that second flashback where barbara got hurt during that heist. did she give up on doing any more (maybe jim caught her)? was it because dick was called away by bruce and then the titans and got caught up in his own issues? maybe barbara froze him out because she wasn’t looking for the relationship that he was looking for? maybe the idea of doing that with someone turning into batman-lite was just... unappealing? scary?

whatever it is, it doesn’t look like dick ever processed the end of that relationship. it’s very intriguing to see where their dynamic goes next.

17. so.... what, did vic deliver some fear toxin to barbara? i... what?

17.5. and i TOLD YOU that they would never explain that doll or why vic attacked those two cops at the beginning! oh, titans. never change. 

18. did jason just randomly have tim’s restaurant burgled? god, i’m feeling a bit nauseous... are they going to kill tim’s father?

18.25. i feel like the rest of the season is going to wrestle with jason’s culpability in the horrible stuff he’s doing and i’m already seeing that prospect divide fans. on one hand, his story is taking a lot of oxygen away from other equally interesting story arcs, and he’s done some truly awful things, like indiscriminate murder, threatening to kill children, blowing up hank, and potentially killing tim’s parents. 

there’s something to be said for the kind of hold that crane has over him, and the so-called ‘anti-fear’ drug that he keeps plying jason with--he’s alone, drugged almost constantly (to the level of dependence), fresh from the trauma of being bludgeoned to death. he hasn’t conquered fear; he’s ruled by it. on the other hand, given that he’s the one character on the show given an obvious and identifiable ‘mental illness’ arc (maaaaybe dick too), one can argue that it’s irresponsible to show this progress into such violence: jason was vulnerable because he was struggling, and that left him vulnerable, but it took only a push before he became a fucking serial killer.

but that could mean we underestimate the degree of that vulnerability, and the mechanics of this universe where he fell into the clutches of the one supervillain perfectly designed to exploit that vulnerability. that helpless spiral into further and further self-destruction is all too real. it’s valuable to know that someone who has sunk that low can still seek help--actual help--and get it. 

18.5. i don’t know. it’s not a question i’m going to resolve at the end of an overlong recap at 1 in the morning. i don’t believe it’s even a question that titans can resolve. but i am interested in where they’re going next with jason.

19. this episode was genuinely great! i’m pumped for the rest of the season!