a strange dream | barou
incl. barou 🎀 ( he would kill me )
warnings. completely sfw, fluff, school!au, fem reader, very much ooc, slow burn
an's. i missed him so much i had to revisit
BAROU probably hasnt got any interest in you before your relationship, not in a bad way but lets be honest—he's a soccer addict, he definitely wouldn't notice you until well, he did.
you're both sitting in math class (which did i mention had one hell of alot of students) and someone from the other side of the room asks to pass a note to you, rumor has it they've got a crush.
eventually the note ends up in the large hands of Barou Shouei and he's of course expected to pass it along to you but doesn't see anyone ahead of him expecting to receive it from him. he's confused—who the hell was yn ?
its his bad—he really wasnt to familiar with anything not soccer related.
he looked around, then finally decided to give the piece of paper back to the person he got it from—whoever that was.
you look at barou confused, so the paper was for you? you had originally gave it too him because you weren't sure if the people mumbling in the back of the classroom were really talking about you or not.
you opened your mouth to whisper-yell at him, but he wasn't paying attention to you anymore, his eyes trained on the teacher once again.
you uncrumpled the paper, trying to be as quiet as possible in the dead silence, but with no luck.
"yn?!"
shit
"yes miss?", you hid the paper under the desk, trying not to make eye contact with the 28 other students that had eyes on you.
"care to share with the class whats so important that you need to be passing notes in my class?"
fuck
reason #1 why you really hated this class, your math teacher was a fucking bitch.
'mean girl giggles' echoed throughout the room, barous eyes paying special attention to what you were about to do.
you dreaded the feeling of being forced to stand up in front of the entire class and read aloud whatever was written on the small note.
"get to it missy"
oh fuck off
you looked around the classroom trying to assess anyone who may have been distressed or embarrassed but with no luck, everyone seemed to be waiting on you.
weird...
"im serious yn. if you dont start reading in the next 10 seconds im going to—"
"no, no thats okay—i-im reading"
for whoever wrote me this, i am so sorry.
you cleared you throat in preparation for the humiliation you were about to face, curses be upon you miss peterson.
"hi, i think your really cute, we should go out sometime together, from..."
your heart stopped.
oh no this cant be right
"thats it."
"thats it?" the teacher probed, slowly making her way towards you.
"that it. i-it just says from your secret admirer after that nothing else".
your math teacher narrowed her eyes, looking closely at your expression—she didn't buy it.
dont breakeyecontactdont break eye contactdont breakeyecontactdontbreakeyecontactdontbreakeyecontact—
"really..."
"really!" you broke eye contact.
she pointed her nose upwards, probably as high as possible and began walking towards your desk.
"alright then i wanna see it, i need to have it confiscated"
"what?!, why?" oops you said that kinda loud. the class whom had previously lost interest when you finished reading turned back towards you and miss peterson now intrigued.
"well why not?! it was a distraction in class and now it needs to be taken away to make sure it wont be a distraction again...!"
but that doesn't make sense, if you care so much about us passing notes you should take our notebooks not the gosh dang note !
"but that doesn't make sense—" but you didn't get a chance to finish as the teacher viciously snatched the paper from you and spun around back towards her desk.
you sat down and burried your hands in your face, you couldn't watch this.
"oh this looks fun...says it's from barou shouei, not what i was expecting...not what i was expecting at all..."
fucking kill yourself, PLEASE
the class, which had previously been dormant erupted in a series of raging giggles and screams—shocked at the reveal of who the note was from.
a soccer player.
it was no secret in BLLK High that nobody—under any circumstance—was to mess with a soccer player. they had a bit of a reputation going on. even the nice ones.
" 'cuse me?" a commanding and masculine voice emerged from your left side and you turned as quickly as possible to the over 6 foot ( 182 cm ) tall man trying to explain yourself.
fuck, one day you were seriously gonna kill your math teacher.
"no, no no i promise it's not like that—i seriously don't know who made this i promise it wasn't from me and i know it wasn't from you—"
"you're yn ?" he cut you off smoothly, leaning back in his seat ever so slightly.
"huh?"
his knees were facing yours now. "you're yn right? been wondering who that was for the longest, guess i know now, cool."
"huh?"
okay now you were confused—about multiple things actually. #1, barou shouei, the man you'd been sitting next to for almost a full year now had yet to learn your name untill just now which is—gosh, just outrageous even for a soccer player
and #2 he wasn't toltally angry and going to kill you like everyone said he would have, should you make a fool of him?
no seriously someone explain what was happening.
you didnt get a chance to ponder on your thoughts much longer however, the bell rang loudly in your ear and soon everyone including yourself was making way for the door out the classroom.
what the fuck just happened, what the actual fuck just happened.
"heyy ! yn over here !" you didnt realize it but you apparently had auto-piloted your way all the way through lunch and was now being called over by people you've never talked to a day in your life—and you knew exactly what it would be about.
could this get any worse
you were about to find out. "yes...?" you asked, tray still in hand while you stood awakwardly by the trash can near the lunch table who called you over.
"soo—wait first sit down, we're friends we're friends, sit down first" one of the girls said, patting a seat next to herself eagerly.
you looked at the eyes on you and quickly made a decision to move.
there definitely here to ask me about him. it can't be that bad right? i think her name is ashley? i don't know maybe this'll be fun, maybe they'll be nice.
"so have you guys had sex?"
"what?! no—"
"have you guys even ever kissed yet?"
"no—"
"we used to talk you know", this one was from ashley, a pretty blonde haired girl who's blue eyes sparkled like marbles.
"really?"
she was attractive that for sure but and you could definitely see why some people would wanna date her but barou? not so much.
"really"
like in what world would some super macho super mysterious soccer guy get the hots for some popular pretty blonde girl? not to mention an obnoxious pretty blonde girl.
gosh i sound like a pick me right now, who knows maybe they really did talk
"didn't even know her name" barou said, cracking his neck from side to side.
"seriously man?" asked isagi, popping a fry in his mouth.
"dead serious"
this was the soccer table, a table where only the best of best players would sit for lunch, not that it was official or anything—but new students were warned not to go near The Table anyway.
"so you did ask yn to prom?"
"no bachira, i didn't ask her how many times to i have to say that, i barely know her anyways"
"untill today" kunigami confirmed.
"until today" barou repeated.
"would you though?" chigiri asked, he glanced over at your table—you were pretty that much was obvious but it was barou we're talking about, who knows what he thought of you.
"nah, couldn't."
"why not? shes not ugly" nagi questioned albeit a bit insensitively.
"shes not but..." he trailed off, stringing his eyes from nagi to you, she looks kinda...
"but what"
"i don't want her thinking we're dating after prom or somethin', gotta focus on the game."
"what if i did then, think she'd say yes?" it was reo speaking now who was now also looking at your table.
"nah, your uncanny resemblance to a donkey might turn her off"
The Table laughed as reo scowled at the other players, he didnt find it very funny.
"shut the fuck up shouei, i didn't hear her accepting your undying love now did i?"
"thats because i never really asked her dipshit"
"your point! still better than knowing your rejected as a default"
"is it though?" barou was almost smiling at the purple headed boy.
"oh really? watch me"
the table made boyish "ooo"-ing sounds and reo stood up confidently.
shouts erupted from the table, causing the whole cafeteria to turn towards the players, they payed them no mind however, only staring intently at where reo was walking.
"look, look, look! one if them is coming over here right now!"
"really?!"
you whipped your head around towards where the whole cafeteria's attention had been directed.
nononon, this cannot be happening. you seriously did not need another soccer players thinking you were some freak weirdo because someone else wanted to be messy!
"thats reo, he's super fucking rich, i heard he has a whole two backyards !"
"and an a theater room!"
great, and it was a rich snob kid too.
"does yn sit here?"
your table said nothing, even the loud ashley kept quiet while he was talking. everyones heads turned to you, waiting expectantly for you to say something.
"yeah thats me..." you said meekley.
reo smiled and curled his finger towards himself a few times, asking you to come to him.
this is so awakward
you stood up silently and walked over to where reo was. he didn't stop directing him towards you until you were standing right up against him, close enough to where he could grab your jaw and yank your ear towards his mouth.
"you're hot, go out with me"
your eyes bludged, and your heart accelerated way more than it should have. that was NOT what you were expecting.
reo let go of your face, his hands were in his pockets as he waited for your answer, he looked confident tou would say yes. and most people would, but this was a soccer player we were talking about—and this one specifically was known for being super rich, super smart and a super hoe. three things you couldn't be bothered to even try giving a chance with.
you glanced behind him trying to peer at the damage that had been done.
holy shit the whole fuking cafeteria is looking
"so?"
you were snapped back into reality as reo looked at you, still waiting for an answer. it was pretty obvious what you were going to say.
"no. im sorry but no, i hardly know you and you're really not my type, sorry."
your table made all types of noises as they watched the now humiliated boy bite a scowl and walk back too his table.
you quickly sat back down and watched as The Table made fun of reo's rejection. all the players were laughing but you were only looking at one.
"said i wasn't her type". The Table erupted in laughter, all the players except reo cackling like animals.
"fucking told you so, at least get to know the girl before you start trying to hit on her" isagi joked, slapping reo on the back repeatedly.
"no for real, dont know what made you think she would fall for you in a day, not all girls are so easy you know" kunigami shook his head.
"what did you say too her anyways?" nagi asked now curious as to what got him such a harsh rejection anyways.
"didn't say nothing, js asked her if she wanted to go out, said no, that's it." reo reiterated bitterly.
"knowing him it was probably something like 'youre hot, lets go out'" barou said offhandedly, distracted by the feeling of eyes on him.
"you could hear?" reo asked, now confused.
The Table went silent for a moment and isagi burst out laughing when he realized what reo had just said.
"so you did really say that?!"
the emmbarassment for reo only cotinued further but barou wasn't paying attention to that. the eyes from before were still on him.
it was you.
cute...
BAROU isnt really much of a romantic either, he hasn't got the headspace for it like he does for soccer, so of course—he's not seeking the love. the love is seeking him.
1 week later
you sat quietly in the school library studying like a madman for finals, it was just near the end of the school year and you were determined to get good marks on all of the subjects.
the library was the most perfect and quiet place to relax and work at the same time—without any distractions or problems to bother you from your job.
"excuse me?"
you glanced up to where the voice was coming from and your heart felt like it was going to explode.
it was none other than barou shouei in the flesh.
a whole week, a whole week you had managed to somewhat avoid his presence and pretty much ignore him during math ( your teacher denied you request to switch spots ) it was going fine untill—well, now.
"can i borrow your computer charger? mine just died and a left mine at home"
that was it?
you didn't really know what to expect from the man though. he was known to be pretty brutal on tbe field maybe you were assuming he'd be the same in real life.
although i guess i shouldn't think that considering how chill he was over the fake confession and all of that...
"oh yeah sure, I uh can let your borrow it no problem"
"thanks"
barou took your charger without another word and walked back over too his seat.
the racing in your heart was begining to subside, that wasn't so bad...
you shifted to get comfortable in your seat and began studying once again, right now where was i...
"excuse me?"
and just as you were getting comfortable. barou shoei again.
"yes?"
"sorry im back so soon but, could i sit here for a little bit. the outlet by my table isnt working for some reason" he said it in a polite tone but seemed eager for an answer, he was probably in a rush to get as much study time in before practice like most athletes were.
he really isnt as scary as i thought he'd be...
"yeah of course that's fine, it's better this way anyway, wont forget you had it in the first place ya know" you smiled moving your belongings over to make room for his.
"thanks"
barou set his things down and soon enough a static silence ensued over the both of you, not that you minded though. you still needed to get work done and it was better he wasn't attempting to make conversation with you. it is a bit awkward though...
"you color coded your pens"
the voice that emmited from the other side of the table almost made you forget who was there.
"i did, why?"
"nice, i did too"
barou didnt wait for an answer, but instead pulled out a all black pencil pouch to reveal all seven colors of the rainbow line up in order.
jeez, i just think it looks cool, his has all the pen hooks facing up too, ocd much?
that wasn't the main point though, what was more important was his sticker—on thst rested sturdy on his bag. "you watch graves anatomy too?"
he looked surprised when you mentioned the show, and nodded his head appropriately. "yeah, and im all caught up too, all 22 seasons and counting."
"holy hell, im only on season 12 how to even time for that—aren't you always having games and stuff, scince your on varsity and all..."
barou quirked an eyebrow, "mm you know your stuff—i make it work"
now it was your turn to make a face "you make it work...really, its that easy?"
no. the absurbant amount of school work i have is fucking killing me right now plus i've got sisters too take care of so no, it's definitely not easy
thats not what he said though.
"yup, real easy." he nodded his head and although you didn't buy it, it was hardly your place to nag. he didn't seem like someone you should nag.
"uh huh.." you shook your head up and down slow and repeatedly, "for sure, for sure"
"what you don't believe me?" barou moved his chair closer to yours, so close in fact you think your knees were touching, his arms bulged as he rested his hands on his head ; it was hot nice seeing him in a position that wasn't so straight .
"no i do, you seem really responsible im sure you're great at 'making it work' " you put a thumbs up.
gosh, could you be anymore awakward...
"oh im responsible ? you would know that im responsible?" barou questioned, leaning even closer on his arms towards you.
is he...flirting with me?
you laughed and covered your mouth with your hand leaning slightly away as he got closer.
"i mean yeah" you paused to swipe away the nonexistent dust from your eyes, you just couldn't hold the eye contact.
come on, dont get shy now yn.
"people talk, i guess."
"do they?"
"they do" you nodded your head firmly up and down, since it was the only thing you were sure you could do at the moment.
"mh"
mmh?!? the fuck does that mean ??
"so yn i wanna ask you a question" barou leaned back as he said this, finally returning to his normal position.
holy shit my heart was beating so fast, somebody get me on a stretcher and to the hospital NEOW, i am about to blow!
"yeah?"
barou stayed silent for a few moments, thinking deeply about what he was going to say.
"hypothetically..." he paused, staring directly at you.
"hypothetically..." you confirmed.
"hypothetically if someone, other than reo from the soccer team—just as an example lets say...yoichi ! remember hypothetically speaking—asked you out on a date what would your answer be?"
huh?
"what kind of question is that?"
"a hypothetical one" he said matter of factly.
"a hypothetical one, right, well if—hypothetically of course—i was asked out by isagi, om a date that is...i don't know...yeah? I guess i'd day yes?"
"really, you would?" he looked surprised and you suddenly felt alarmed, was that a bad thing or something??
"yeah? i mean no, not really—maybe not if he asked the way your friend did..."
"mhm"
??? again, what does that mean?
A moment of silence passed between the two of you and you tried and failed at going back to the work you were supposed to be doing in the first place.
"what about chigiri?" he said suddenly.
"chigiri? what do you me—"
"chigiri. pretty, has red hair, plays on varsity and is super fast? chigiri. would you say yes too him?"
"i mean, maybe, yeah he's definitely not ugly and i guess if i knew him well enough I would probably say yes—why are you asking me this?"
barou said nothing and suddenly, the strangest thing began to happen—he looked at you smiling—a large, uncanny smile resembling a creepypasta monster formed from on his face, your heart began to beat but for the wrong reasons.
"wake up yn" it was definitely barou's voice but it sounded far.
"huh?" you couldn't move, and you now realize you probably couldn't move for a while.
what...is happening...
"wake. up."
your head shot up from your arms, ans you looked around disorientedly.
oh...
up untill about the last 30 seconds you were a bit disappointed it had to end. your dream that is.
"yn", a voice—much deeper than you recall im your fantasies spoke out to you as you felt a tap on your shoulder.
it was barou. the real barou.
"i baroued your charged?" he said holding it out towards you. (an's. IM HALARIOUS LAMOSJKWIS)
"oh. right sorry, thanks." you took the cord from him. but he didn't leave, still looming over you in his tall stature he spoke again.
"uh, you got a little.." he pointed to the corner of his lip, scratching at it in expectation for you to do the same.
you did, softly at first, not really sure what is it he was implying but quickly realized what he meant after you felt a crusty dry substance still left from your unconscious.
oh..
oh !
"ive got drool on my face haven't i" he nodded his head, and you swore you saw grin appear on his face—a real one but he turned and walked away before you could make confirm.
"thanks for the charger yn, see ya later"
his back was facing you now, slowly getting smaller and smaller at he walked away from you.
seriously ! could i be anyless embarrassing for even a second!
im afraid not yn.
because according to barou, he thinks your little moments of embarrassment and humiliation were pretty damn cute.
BAROU is never scared. he hardly ever get worried, he's king and one of the best players in his school, he's top of his class always and struggles—never. so why? why was it now, over some so trivial that he was all thoes things he never gets all at once?
1 week later, in the classroom.
barou felt weird.
the truth is, he didnt need a partner for the social studies project. his teacher was allowing groups of two or singles all the same. his reasoning behind why he wanted a partner is what was scaring him.
after almost an entire year, barou realized that you not only were in his math class, but his social studies as well. and his history, and biology—even his orchestra ( he plays cello in case you were wondering ).
he realized that you were everywhere.
barou, for the first time was recognizing someome else, not on the team, not an adult, but a girl, he was acknowledging a girl, as more than nothing.
it was weird.
"yn."
you peered up at him, wide-eyed and adorable. "work with me on the project"
your eyes, (e/c) and beautiful, got impossibly larger.
"yeah—uh—sure we can"
he gave a thumbs up, and went back to his seat.
what am i doing?
"i dont know, maybe we can exchange numbers instead?"
"yeah thats better, since im hardly on social media anyways"
even though you've got so many followers..
"alright cool"
you and barou were in the library, again. instead of dreaming about his muscles however, you were watching them in real time move for your phone and yours the same.
there wasnt mych said after that, only short words to communicate what part of the project you both were supposed to work on, untill...
"yn?"
"yes" and once again, you were looking at him, wife eyed and adorable.
"i've got a question to ask you"
no way, did i fall asleep again?
you sucked in a breath, and pinched your cheeks, not paying any attention to the words that might come out of his mouth.
"ow!" nope, you were definitely awake.
barou raised an eyebrow and couldn't hold himself in. he burst out laughing and you we're glad the library waw empty, because in all his seriousness—barou's laugh was loud. like the sort of thing you'd been holding in for a while.
"what yn, afraid you're gonna fall asleep again?"
your cheeks heated up an intense amount.
"no..."
"you're funny you know, really funny"
"huh?!" you squeaked, shifting all over in your chair. "what does that mean"
barou leaned in close to your face, so close that your noses were touching.
"it means..." he tilted hid head sidewards, waiting for your permission.
"i think you're the stupidest most adorable person to exist..." you didn't move away.
and like a shock, barous lips were on yours so softly it made it feel very much like a dream, but it wasn't.
an's. i know this is not himmm, he wouldn't even look at you after a supposed fake letter i knooow, i couldn't think of a better way to force it ( i was lazy ) and he's cute let me live.
an's. i rushed the end i knoww, leave me alone. i like writing for personal enjoyment shhhhhh.
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So, I’ve been thinking a lot about spideytorch lately (as I am one to do) and a question popped into my head:
What is the most important spideytorch comic panel?
There’s a ton of great options in my opinion, but I think there also is an answer (at least for me) so now I am going to subject all of you to my thought process. Get ready for a way to long post breaking this down.
The most obvious starting point has to be this classic
Johnny Storm is going full house husband for Peter Parker, I mean c’mon! add in the fact that he’s in his undies and the way that he’s leaning over peter… yeah this is a classic. This might be the most famous spideytorch panel out there, but I don’t think it’s the most important one.
Another classic (but more antagonistic?) one takes place, of course, at the usual place.
To me this is peak identity shenanigans and the stuff that fanfics are made of. The betrayal, the heartbreak, the complications that go into the conflicting way these two view identity, oh boy I could talk about that shit for hours, but as an individual moment, it doesn’t really crack most important for me, it needs a bit more affection (they’re very bad at affection sometimes).
Another panel that came to mind very quickly for me is this set.
Johnny literally only had to say his name and Peter knew exactly what he meant and what he needed. This is top tier levels of communication, both between them and from the creators to us. I think this is another one that I could talk about for hours. That being said, it doesn’t feel important enough to me.
A friend in the spideytorch discord server posed this panel as the most important spideytorch moment in the comics.
I’m just gonna put their quote in cause it’s great. “I think this is one of my favorite panels cause Johnny was just speaking generally and Peter was like ‘oh my god! Actual wise words form johnny’ but also, I love that this was a more important moment for Peter than Johnny.” I must say, this entry is extremely important to spideytorch and gave my choice a run for its money. I don’t have a huge reason for not making this one the most important, other than personal taste. For their relationship, this is a key moment and sets them on the path to actually being friends (at least on Peter’s end), but idk it just wasn’t doing it for me.
Another panel I was reminded of thanks to this submission was this moment.
It’s not quite as impactful as the past one by a long shot but I do think it’s important. After being rivals for so long, to see Johnny give a genuine heartfelt compliment to Peter is fantastic (haha). This feels like the other half of the previous set of panels. There we had Johnny encouraging a stranger and here he’s encouraging his friend.
Some other friends in the discord server suggested the moment that Johnny invites Peter over to watch his sex tape (yes this is canon).
(Not pictured, Peter swinging away and saying he needs to take a cold shower). Now I’m not saying that the most important spideytorch moment needs to be serious, but I think this moment might be too unserious to claim that title. This moment was huge for the fanbase because holy shit did, he actually say that, but for their relationship, I just don’t think it was as important as it was to us.
Now I do want to knock out a few honorable mentions that I would hate to miss.
First, this look given to Spidey by Johnny, I mean yeah, he’s in love.
And to balance the lovesick flirty scales I must expose Peter as well.
Next, this heartbreaking moment that basically admits to the audience that Peter’s world becomes chaos when he loses Johnny. That shit hits.
Of course, the moment that gave us the ship name.
A panel that lives in my head rent-free because honestly marvel what were you attempting to convey here other than the fact that Peter really wants to have hate sex with Johnny Storm?
To take us outside of our duo, this quote from Ben Grimm (EDIT: it’s was Peter’s clone Ben Reilly, which honestly only adds more drama), because honestly same.
And of course, I have to include the panel which showed us the first time (on page) that Peter told Johnny he loved him AND gave us canon proof that these two have “date night,” many a fic writer was fed well.
And how could we forget! THE USUAL PLACE! Literally any panel mentioning this is top tier because its so good, like the core of the fandom honestly.
Lastly, before moving on to my own more serious contenders I have to share this parallel that @sciderman shared because I love it.
Now to my serious contenders for the title of most important spideytorch panel (please remember this is all my opinion and I mean no shade). This will be a top 5, but just know some of these rankings are pretty flexible (even flexible with some panels from the beginning), and this question should not be taken as seriously as I am taking it, I am fully aware of that.
Number 5!
So, I know that I discounted the sex tape scene earlier because I didn’t think it was serious enough and it didn’t do enough for their actual relationship, but I had to include this one I’m sorry. A lot of this is personal taste but the implications here are *chefs kiss* The first time I saw this panel was actually on Pinterest with the caption “wait a second, did spider-man and the human torch have sex?” which says it all for me.
Beyond that, this moment also shows how they reach out to each other when they have problems. Strange children show up in Peter’s life and the first person he calls about it is Johnny. Again, this is not the most serious, but I love it. This moment shows the banter of their relationship, how they care about and rely on each other, and also potentially reveals that they’ve had sex. There’s a lot to take in.
Number 4!
I will be honest with you all, this moment is here almost entirely because Ben’s quote lives in my head rent-free. Everyone around them sees how they feel about each other besides them. When they were rivals others could tell they actually liked each other and when they became friends others could tell that it was deeper than that. I think I especially love this panel because it conforms that we’re not crazy for thinking there’s something there but also because Ben specifically cites the way Johnny looks at peter. That is very specific and says a lot. I can’t imagine Ben would say this if the looks Johnny gave Peter were purely platonic, and just ahhhh, there’s so much said here just in one line from Ben. There was of course the Ben moment earlier, which I also love, but something about this one, the more specific phrasing of it I think just shoots it up my rankings a lot.
Number 3!
If you’ve been following me for a while I don’t think this is a surprise at all, I have already done a very in depth post about this panel so I’ll keep my thoughts brief. Red Skull knows that hurting Johnny will hurt Peter, Peter’s Spidey senses go off FOR JOHNNY, and we are given so much angst potential, I love it.
Number 2!
This one is probably a more popular choice than my number one, and I totally get it. The excitement and joy bursting out of Peter when he finally realizes that Johnny is here, he’s real, and he’s alive really gets me. Plus, the added context to the uniform comment being that Johnny literally left Peter his family and his spot on the team in his will. The amount of pure love in this moment and its larger context is abundant, platonic or romantic, it’s there. I feel like everything I could say about this panel has probably been said before, but it is definitely worthy of being the most important spideytorch moment, even if I have one that beats it for me.
Number 1!
For those of you who don’t know, this panel comes from Peter visiting Gwen’s grave and talking to her. That fact alone breaks me in half but then the things he says to her shatter me. Every spider-man fan knows how much Gwen’s death broke Peter, it destroyed him to lose her. Just the fact that Peter admits Johnny brings part of him back is amazing (haha) because that is a hug feat. But then he shatters me even more with his final sentences. After Gwen’s death, we often get a peter who spends too much time as Spidey in order to avoid having to cope with Gwen’s death as Peter, but also as a way to cope with the loss (he’s a complicate man). Spideypool also gets a lot from that arc because of Wade’s reaction to Spider-Man not holding back as much and becoming less of a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, and that’s true. The fact that Peter feels like he’s becoming who Spidey is supposed to be again when he’s around johnny is huge! But then! He corrects himself. He’s not Spidey again, he’s Peter. The real person, the man behind the mask, comes back. And then you get the final correction. He’s not just peter again, he’s *Gwen’s* peter again. He is the him that existed with Gwen when he’s with Johnny. That speaks volumes and breaks whatever parts of me are left. How am I expected to read this and not think that Johnny and Peter are soulmates?
Now, I will acknowledge that this is much more of a peter moment than a joint spideytorch moment, much like the moment suggested by discord friend earlier. If that disqualifies it for you as the most important spideytorch panel, I get it. However, for me that doesn’t matter mainly for one key reason. So many classic spideytorch moments show a lot of Johnny having feelings for Peter or making a move on Peter. There have been a lot of times when I’m trying to get a friend into spideytorch, and I feel like I have to clarify that its not as one sided as it seems. Johnny is much more out there with who he is and doesn’t hide his feelings very well (except maybe from himself). So, when we get any spideytorch moment that hones in on peter’s feelings and love for Johnny, that feels so huge to me. This moment alone proves that it isn’t one sided, Peter has deep feelings for Johnny, even if he’s not sure what they are yet, he knows that what they have is special, he wouldn’t be telling Gwen about it otherwise. While it may not be as famous of a spideytorch moment, its an important one, and for me it’s probably the most important one.
Anyway, this has been a way too long post about this topic but if you made it to the end thank you so much! I would love to hear other people’s thoughts on this topic so feel free to share those. Also, just a reminder that these are my opinions, and I am not in charge at all so don’t take it too seriously (unless you want to).
If you’re interested in hearing me, go more in depth on any of these panels (or any other spideytorch panels) shoot me an ask because I could honestly talk in depth for a while about most of these panels and I would love to do so. Thank you again for reading this way to long post and good night spideytorch nation.
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TWST Family Lore: Heartslabyul Part 1
As a fanfic writer, the family question has been coming up a lot for me with these guys, especially with me wanting to potentially actually write these unseen family members that get mentions thrown out there, so I started collecting information, and then, I thought I'd make a post about it! This first part is just Heartslabyul, about their family members and what we know about them (that I could find, anyways), plus some of my thoughts/guesses. This very well might not be exhaustive, but maybe if I see something more I'll add on!
That said! Spoiler warning! I am including info from various vignettes, card voicelines, and events, including JP server only cards, but I will try to avoid too many specific JP event story spoilers (which in this post is pretty much just a lot of White Rabbit). I include main story stuff from book 1 and also the first part of book 7 (which is out in EN), but nothing from the rest of book 7 which is out in JP. Which probably doesn't have anything Hearts-related anyways (I do not know)? I might be waiting for the rest of book 7 to come out before posting a Diasomnia edition to this, though...
So anyways! Let's get to it!
ACE TRAPPOLA
He has an older brother (seven years older than him, as mentioned in his school uniform vignette), whom he seems to be fairly close with. We also have mention of his dad, but so far, as far as I can tell, there is mention of no one else. He does mention his parents in the plural once: in his ceremonial robes voicelines, he says that "I think my brother was happier than my parents when we found out I made it into this school." We also know that his brother was a student at NRC himself and was also in Heartslabyul, which may very well be one reason for his enthusiasm at his little brother getting into the same school. At the freshmen orientation ceremony, Ace shows no surprise to getting chosen for Heartslabyul, assuming that he'd end up in the same place as his brother (Ace robes vignette).
But first, Ace's dad! He gets mentioned in his birthday boy vignette. He is not a mage (implying that, perhaps, Ace and his brother get their magic from their mom's side? As it does appear to be a genetic thing of some sort according to some mentions, but also, it can skip generations, as is seen with Epel), but he is really good at old-fashioned magic of the sleight-of-hand variety. When asked what got Ace into sleight of hand by Yuu for the birthday interview, he says it'd be his dad, who was "ridiculously good" at it.
(image credit: Songstress Studios)
Ace goes on to say that he learned the "nuts and bolts" of it from his brother, whom he believes was also inspired by their dad, and he also says that whenever he visits home, he and his brother will show off to each other and challenge each other to spot the trick!
Ace also talks about his brother in relation to learning tricks in his dorm uniform vignette. He shows sleight of hand tricks to his dormmates, and when Riddle shows surprise and awe over the 'pick a card' trick he's definitely never seen before, Ace says that he reacted in pretty much the same way when his brother first showed it to him. When asked about his brother, Ace says that he "started playing around with cards for funsies" while he was a student, and Ace later learned from him, but not directly. He never gave away the secret, but Ace learned by watching him. (And he learned well, too! Ace has been shown to be very good at this, also coming up notably in the Fairy Gala IF event, for instance).
(image credit: RedAngel)
Earlier, Cater had asked Ace to show him the secret, and Ace made a deal with him for it since he'd never do it for free, and after hearing Ace's story, Cater guesses that Ace's mentality of never giving away anything for free could have come from his brother.
It also seems that Ace's brother was absolutely the type to tease him. In his birthday boy vignette, Ace tells a story of how on his birthday, his brother gave him a box with a fancy watch inside, which got Ace all excited, but then he clarifies that the watch was *his* watch, not Ace's. Ace's gift was the box. His brother afterwards fills the box with candy, but Ace was not amused.
And in other notes:
He is bad at cooking, according to Ace, who says he "doesn't know a cake from a steak" (school uniform vignette).
He taught Ace how to "kill time in the dorms" (school uniform vignette).
He took a theme park management internship in his fourth year at NRC, and he's continued to work there after graduation (Book 7, Chapter 4).
(Also, this thing about the theme park might be a reference, maybe?? In the Tokyo DisneySea park, there was this "villain recruiters" show that ran from 2015 to 2018, featuring original minions of various Disney villains who would make a pitch to invite guests to join the "Villains' World," and there was a Queen of Hearts card soldier character named Jack Heart, whose costume design does resemble Heartslabyul's! And he does the heart thing with his hands like Ace does in his official art! So, might have been inspiration? Anyways, this tumblr post by ceeyuin666 has a nice summary of it so there).
Anyhow, back on track and back to the school uniform vignette, Ace mentions how before he came to NRC, his brother would "take him about everywhere," which does seem to imply they spent a lot of time together, and he also seems to have been a big influence on Ace. For better or worse :). In this vignette, Ace does a favor for Trey in exchange for a slice of cherry tart, when tips for the history test were what he really wanted, a second motive Trey totally expected, and when asked if he was lying about loving cherries so much, Ace said that he wasn't: his brother told him "the most convincing lies are sprinkled with a dash of truth." Knowing Ace, Trey is not surprised.
(anyways I really want to meet this guy so please Ace hometown event please!!)
DEUCE SPADE
(translation credit to Ekala on Youtube!)
He has no siblings and was raised by his single mother, whom we have actually met! In the JP server, anyways! She shows up in Deuce's hometown event, the White Rabbit Festival. So, we have a name! Meet Dilla Spade (or Dilah? Dira? Deela?)! Romanization isn't clear yet; I'll just say "Dilla" for now. Also, we find out she's a delivery truck driver for the thematically-named White Rabbit Delivery company.
Deuce is shown to have been very close to his mom growing up, noticeable enough to the point that his old middle school friends teased him for it and called him "childish" (starsending vignette). We find early on that this is an important part to his story—when Deuce was in middle school, he was acting like a delinquent: skipping school, disrespecting teachers, being reckless and getting into fights. Then, one night, he overheard his mom talking to his grandma (only mention of his grandma that I know of, but, noted that she's in the picture too!), and he could tell that she was crying. She was feeling like a failure of a mother, and said that "maybe she never should have tried to raise him herself." Deuce, however, doesn't blame her at all. Seeing her like that really shook him up, and he resolved to "never do anything to make her cry" again. This is his motivation for wanting to be an honor student; he wants to be the opposite of what he was before and prove himself. He wants to be "someone she can be proud of."
As far as I know, we don't have any mention of Deuce's father or what happened to him. From context and with what his mom said on the phone that day, she might have been a single parent from the start, with the father never being in the picture.
Deuce, in talking to Silver during Silver's Wish in the Starsending event upon Silver mentioning his father in his wish, talks about his mom and how she raised him as a single parent, saying "I know she's had her share of hard times... So I just want her to be happy now. I'd love for her to live a long life." In chapter 10 of the event, Deuce wishes to be a police officer, specifically a magic marshal, which is a hard job to get, saying that he is "sure my mom will worry a lot less if I get a respectable job." He also talks about this in his event vignette! He reveals that upon getting a bad reputation at home, people stopped trusting him, and they'd accuse him of things he didn't do, but if he said he didn't do it, there were always two people who believed him: his mom and the neighborhood police officer. The officer would always come by to talk to him and hear him out, and both he and his mom were very grateful for that. Deuce says that if he could be like that, maybe his mother wouldn't worry so much, so he decided that he wanted to be a police officer.
At the end of the event, in chapter 12, Dilla calls Deuce in excitement over the falling stars in the sky. In response to Deuce saying that yes he saw it, because he's a Stargazer, his mom replies that "Night Raven College couldn't have asked for a finer Stargazer than you." And she says she's proud of him and it's really sweet :)
And then he starts crying happy tears :)
Anyways! Deuce's character arc can be a whole essay in itself, so back to his mom! Some of the stories we got include:
"Battlefield" Sales Shopping. Dilla would bring Deuce with her when shopping limited-time sales, which she seemed to seek out actively. Deuce recounts spending "forever" thumbing through pamphlets looking for sales, and Dilla would then coax him into coming with her, saying things like "Deuce is so strong, and can carry a lot." Deuce remembers getting shoved around a lot by the other customers, and so, he takes his sales quite seriously today (school uniform vignette, new year's vignette).
Spring cleaning! Or, winter cleaning? Dilla and Deuce would go on a cleaning frenzy after the holidays and before the new year, because “if the house is clean, we’ll feel renewed too” (new year’s voicelines)
In his apprentice chef vignette, Deuce recalls how recently, his mom got sick with a cold but didn't tell him until she was better. This made Deuce sad, because he wished she would depend on him a little more when she was struggling, so he was motivated to learn to cook so he could be more dependable.
Also in his apprentice chef vignette, Deuce says that he did help his mom "a little" with cooking back home and knew how to dice vegetables, and the ghost chef was impressed by his skills! So she seems to have taught him well.
In her own words she claims that she is not very good at cooking, but she does know a lot of egg dishes, because Deuce likes them (White Rabbit, 2-4)
She would bring Deuce to the office sometimes, so her coworkers know him (White Rabbit, 3-10). In the event, they were a little nervous around him at first but then were surprised to find how different his behavior was now compared to middle school, and they complimented him on getting into NRC.
She made Deuce a bunny outfit for the White Rabbit Festival long ago, saying that Deuce was complaining over not having anything special to wear, and she didn't have the money to make or buy an outfit, but she asked her coworkers for some spare fluff and made it work. She looks back on this fondly, saying she was just happy to see Deuce having fun at the festival. (chapter 6)
She is great with cars, but terrible with electronics (White Rabbit Festival, birthday boy vignette). Deuce has to show her how to do stuff and recounts “fixing” home devices by simply changing the batteries, and he is the one to set up appliances at home, as she refuses to read instruction manuals. She only uses her smartphone for calls and pictures. Dilla calls cars "trusted partners" but says that electronics are too “self-important” (White Rabbit, Chapter 2-6).
In this scene, Dilla also praises Deuce in front of his friends for "fixing" so many electronic things around the house, which embarrasses Deuce as he does not think it was that big of a deal. She also mentions embarrassing stories like she knows full well what she's doing, teasing in a very affectionate kind of way.
I do wonder if Dilla dragging Deuce onto shopping trips all the time was in part her way of finding ways to spend time with him. She really seems to care about him a lot, and quality time is something that means a lot to her, but perhaps she also struggles with connecting and really getting through to him. In White Rabbit, she mentions sadly how she used to take Deuce to the festival every year, but then he lost interest. Deuce sees this as normal, but it seems there were some growing pains there.
Also on another note which I honestly just find funny, there is a point in White Rabbit where Dilla is worried about Deuce having gotten hurt, and he says it's fine because he's "used to it," and she's just like...I don't how I feel about this but I support you! (sorry Dilla, your son's a budding shounen protagonist and his school's a disaster magnet. He's going to get so used to this haha)
One more thing we really get to see from the event, Dilla definitely seems to have nerves of steel, too. Not revealing too much about what happens, she doesn't back down from this gang that is harassing her festival stall that her coworkers are terrified of, and then joins in with the idea to challenge them without hesitation. Deuce seems to allude to this when introducing Epel, saying that he thinks they'd get along because Epel has "grit and iron courage," as if he sees his mom the same way.
Going back to Deuce's story at the beginning...I feel like this is pretty significant, too. The impression I get from all of this is that she's scrappy and resourceful, strong-willed and vigorous, someone who'll keep an easy sense of humor and a smile in the face of a challenge... but also, she's someone who will bend over backwards to hide her struggles, such as when she hid her being sick with a cold from Deuce. Which is to say, she doesn't seem like the type to be brought to tears easily. This being just speculation on my part, but what if, that day Deuce overheard her on the phone, that was the first time Deuce really saw her break down like that? His mom, the strongest person he knows, the one always keeping up a smile? Although, in the background, she probably hid so many of the struggles she did have? Just saying, it'd have a lot of impact, I'd think...realizing the turmoil he put her through to get her like that...
But that said, I think it's important to note that she cares about him a lot, and she is proud of Deuce and who he's become, and I don't think that hinges at all on him becoming an honors student. Deuce struggles to try to make himself more reliable, but Dilla says as much in White Rabbit: he doesn't have to "go overboard." It doesn't have to be complicated. She just wants him to live life and be happy, simple as that. And also he could come home every once in a while, too :)
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