#and i can't stop comparing how similar my life still is to when i quit that job a year ago uuuugh

[pettydisco]

I'm not ready for it to be september again. I haven't done enough.

[ghostfest]

Void State/Trance State Method [ADHD/No Focus Friendly.]

I've used quite a few methods to get into the void, and this is one of my favorites that I use. Usually people tell people "just affirm!" and "just relax!" but for me I've never really been able to lie still and go affirming for hours aimlessly because I can't focus my mind and I will get very angry/upset and think I "fail" if I can't focus while most other methods tell me to think absolutely no thoughts. It's just something entirely not possible for me and likely others, so I wrote this to hopefully help someone in a similar situation out. I believe this is something that @trynafindbarbiee2 / @trynafindbarbiee has talked about in the feeling of recently, so I hope this helps people who have recently read their trance state post and seen the video. :) If you have more questions, feel free to message me or inbox me.

1. You do not need white noise, theta waves or whatever you've been told you "need" or anything to enter. You don't even need pure silence. If you're like me you've probably used things that you don't even enjoy and aren't relaxed by just because other bloggers made you feel like you needed it to go into the void. What you're going to do is put on something you like. If you personally find a subliminal relaxing, then use it. Specifically I use music or subliminals. If you have a song that you enjoy a lot and makes you happy then use it. It doesn't need affirmations or binural beats or anything like that. Just put on something you like very much. It doesn't even have to be a calm relaxing song as long as it makes you happy.

2. Think. Yes, I know how this sounds stupid. Think. That's it. No. I'm not telling you to think about something specific. I'm telling you to DO NOT TRY TO NOT THINK. If you try to prevent yourself from thinking you're going to be unable to stop thinking and unable to calm your mind. You're just going to end up more upset that you can't stop thinking. Plus it's actually very important that you're thinking and not focused on the void or entering. Think thoughts about things you enjoy, something that'll distract yourself and spiral into other thoughts you'll also think about. Daydream. Visualize. Think. About anything, ANYTHING you want.

3. By now at some point after this your mind will begin to calm down and get more "spacey" and distracted. Sometimes I am already in the void at this point. However, if you're not yet then you can use your mind's fuzziness and the feeling of being zoned out to enter the void. Things should be much quieter in your head compared to when you first started and it should feel slower to think. 4. Since this happens so fast usually I already end up in the void state or near it at this point. If you aren't yet, then now you can start visualizing and daydreaming about either the void state and the feeling of being in the void state (I visualize the idea of feeling nothing or being in water or just being in space or the wind all of these work best for me). If you can't do this visualize your life AFTER the void. Visualize things such as your desired appearance or desired bedroom and visualize things you're going to do once you leave the void. IN SUMMARY: 1. Put on music or subliminals. It's important that it's something YOU like and relaxes YOU. Not what someone tells you to listen to. 2. Think about anything you want. Just think and daydream about anything. 3. Once your mind is calmer and you think slower, vaunt and rampage about the void and affirm or visualize your life AFTER the void or visualize the feeling of the void (Yes, daydreaming is the exact same as visualizing so if that helps then do that).

[cult-of-the-eye]

Something horrifying occurred to me today. If my father was a fictional character, people would think of him in a similar way people see Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute. Here's why:

He has had So Much Shit happen to him. Like Jesus Christ. Like string of unfortunate deaths kind of shit. Like how is this man still functional kind of shit.

He's also had such an interesting childhood and life he's such a wildcard like my dad randomly telling us how he smuggled some guys over the border when he was like 19 is giving the same vibes as Jonathan Sims saying he knows what a meme is

That's not to say he's a huge badass or anything (he is but for the sake of this comparison) he was terrified out of his mind the whole time and did it cause he was feeling homesick and was like I know how these guys feel so I'm gonna help. Giving trademark Jonathan "gonna do it but gonna do it shaking like a wet dog" Sims

He's a skinny brown guy who's kinda quiet, supremely awkward and makes dorky jokes

I asked him if he would still love me if I were a worm and he deadass said only if you went to worm Cambridge. Tell me that's not a Jonathan Sims thing to say.

He's probably autistic (he won't talk to you unless you mention something specific and then you can't stop him talking about the geopolitical situation of Bangladesh)

He's so emotionally constipated. My dude has never heard of emotions ever. He once gave me the advice that the way to deal with negative emotions about our shitty situation is to just compare it to poor peoples' lives in Bangladesh and thank god we don't have it that bad. I think he's allergic to therapy.

He's always in some sort of pain. God hates him personally.

He's the most anxious man I've ever met in my life. I think he lies awake at night just planning how he's gonna get through the next day. Like all he does is overthink and eat his own curated mixed nuts snack

He indulges in a funny cat video once or twice

He hates dogs (growing up in Bangladesh will do that to you but also he's not good with the barking)

Saying that, has bonded with one crusty white dog, who he immediately picked up although i don't think he meant to do that, so we get a situation of quite a tall man holding a small dog but both of them looking Absolutely Terrified.

He's such a baby fiend. I've never seen someone so hell bent on being a grandfather. We went to a family party with him once and not even 5 minutes in, we found him holding a baby. I'm taking @lonelyslutavatar 's baby fever Jon as canon btw.

He's constantly in business casual. He'll be in bed wearing slacks. It's not cause he's fashionable but in fact only because those are pretty much the same clothes he's owned since 2005 and the only clothes he owns.

Nobody is quite sure what he does for a living. Like sure we know his job title (I had to look it up on LinkedIn) but his day to day activities? A mystery. Who actually knows what being a Head Archivist entails? Not me.

I rest my case. For now.

[trippygalaxy]

Hi there, is it okay to request a headcanon on twilight, wild and time with their reader, who's a sleepwalker?

((Idk if this part of your rules, can't find it so if uncomfortable you can delete this))

Not against my rules at all! I'mma go more headcanon style just cause it gonna be easier! Edit: This was pretty fun! I hope you enjoy anon! Pairing: Twilight, Wild, Time x gn!reader (separately) Warnings: None Part 2 Part 3

Twilight

Out of these three, he is the worriest of the worts. It depends on that you do that might cause to reactions.

If you tell him about your situation and have a discussion, he'll be more relaxed about the whole ordeal.

Don't get me wrong, he is still hella worried about your well being and what might happen to you but he can at least plan what to do and precautions to take you both can make to prevent any injuries.

Now, if you hadn't told him about your...nightly habits then he (and the rest of the chain) will be very panicked when you're no where to be found around the camp

Prepare for a lecture of a life time from your very worried lover! But don't take the scolding as him being mad, sure he's upset and sure you gave him a heart attack (probably a panic attack as well) but he's just glad you're alright.

After that, Twi becomes a lot more protective over you. Meaning that he or Wolfie is sleeping on top of you or keeping you in his arms during the night.

If you're not comfortable with touch, he might try and convince you to have your leg tied to his OR a heavy object-- he becomes more insistent if you keep wandering off!

He doesn't mean to baby you or make you feel as if your a danger to yourself, it's just how unpredictable such a condition can be and with all the danger in your lives he couldn't forgive himself if something happened to you while he slept.

Wild

Another worrier but a lot more tame compared to Twi

One of the many insomniacs in The Chain so he's more the likely to be awake when you have your...uh "moments." This means he'll be very aware of the direction you head and will likely follow you, just to keep an eye on ya.

Though he'll try not to wake you up during those moments, Wild will if you're in some sort of danger. But most of the time you can find him trailing close behind while you walk. You could just doing loops around the camp and he'll still follow you like a lost puppy.

He does worry but he knows that if it was a serious issue, you'd had made precautions. You're smart like that, he'd say

Oh but do be prepared for so many pictures. Wild constantly has his sheikah slate on him, so expect a multitude of unflattering images of yourself!

His favourite is a picture of you, eyes closed but smiled wide leant over a half-woken Twilight, mid stroke of petting the wolf pelt.

Wild says that you said that you were "talking to wolfie and giving him the love and appreciation he deserves," and neither Twilight or yourself can conform that statement but....To be honest it sounds very plausible...

Over all, Wild does worry about you but he understands that your the one that has had to live with this condition and has the best idea how to handle it! But that's not gonna stop him from getting amazing black mail >:))

Time

The second most worried but also mildly amused!

Like Twi and Wild, the old man is concerned about this nightly "habit" as he calls it. Similar to Wild, he'll make sure you don't wander off if you happen to walk while he's on his night shift and will also find your strange shenanigans quite entertaining (he may or may not have had drawn on your face and blame the other boys, much to their dismay). But unlike Twilight, he takes a more subtle approach to the situation.

Time tries to figure out what the cause of your sleepwalking might be. He's heard some causes could be lack of sleep and/or extreme stress and anxiety as well as it simply being a trait passed down from family.

First, he decides to test the first option. Time will take any of your night shifts, waving off your protests. He also encourages you to take naps during their mid day breaks, promising to wake you up in a couple minutes (those "couple minutes" turn into an hour and a half)

If lack of sleep is not the cause of your sleepwalking, he'll stubbornly move on to the second option, more determined than before.

The implications do make him worry. Had you've been keeping something from him? If something racks you with so much stress it causes your body to walk whilst you slept, it must be a serious matter.

So, with those thoughts lingering in his mind Time pulls you aside during the night and has a talk with you. As gently as he can, Time brings up his concerns and awaits your response.

If you admit to stress playing a factor to your nightly habits Time is quick to offer his help. Whether that's a second set of hands or a new open mind or simply a shoulder to cry on, he'll be there in a heart beat.

If stress isn't the factor than he really is stumped, but that doesn't mean he's gonna stop from trying to find ways to lessen the amount of sleepwalking episodes you have!

[alittledizzy]

I absolutely agree with you on all points regarding the ask about Dan and Phil building an audience back, what's holding them back, etc. When they both started posting a little more regularly again after their coming out videos, and seemed to be hinting at trying to post content again, I was excited. However, I can't say I wasn't disappointed in Dystopia Daily. It's like Dan mentally cannot break free of 2016 internet humor, right down to even his snarking, depreciating humor about his audience being outdated. Phil has gotten much better about being himself on-camera, but you can tell he's still keeping it at arms-lengths. Which is fine, he's certainly entitled to create a healthy barrier, but watching the two of them in 2023 is like trying to straighten a slightly crooked picture but just not quite being able to get it right. Just...off. I think the tours were supposed to be their "grand finale" and now they just want to settle back into how things were before, but don't know how to do that without drawing from what they're comfortable with. Which they haven't done regularly since 2016, so that's their comfort zone. They want things to work within their comfort zone, but that might not happen.

"watching the two of them in 2023 is like trying to straighten a slightly crooked picture but just not quite being able to get it right"

this is the best description of them i've seen in recent history.

it's also something you can compare to other content creators that are still going; most have shifted content away from sit down stare at the camera videos into something softer and more blurred into their life. zoe and alfie vlog, louise vlogs, tyler streams on twitch. they're all still content creation but they've understood that the time for persona heavy youtube creating has come and gone.

i don't think dan and phil could, would, or should vlog. they wouldn't enjoy that. i don't even want phil to stop making sit down videos if he's that attached to the format! but they need to find what is their own middle ground between the rigid division of their pre-coming out selves and finding comfort with an audience. i think youtube for phil feels safe right now but i do not think it is on any level creative or challenging for him. i said something similar before, but watch even his 'questions i wouldn't normally answer' video and tell me he's pushing even a single boundary in it.

and if he is honestly happy with them having made their bank and likely being able to live on the interest from investments and residuals for the rest of their lives, more power to them. i'm here because i love them as people. i will never stop following them with passion and interest.

"I think the tours were supposed to be their "grand finale" and now they just want to settle back into how things were before"

i think this is correct and also where it gets even stickier because they are out of touch. with younger audiences and the content they want. with no video platforms and what does well there. i think they understand the audience they cultivated years ago very well, for better or worse, but that's not going to get them forward momentum.

i think a podcast would be a great way for them to safely do that. but i think their perception of how the audience would react to joint content is skewed too. phil gets numbers on meme tweets but nothing short of dan dropping an hour and a half 'here's a timeline of my relationship with phil' is going to pull ten million views so they've surpassed the era where they need to fear about making major headlines anywhere. they whethered that storm and i'm happy for them, i'm just not convinced they realize that. since obviously to a singular person any amount of direct attention is going to feel like a Lot.

[360degreesasthecrowflies]

London is a city that has always been deeply uneven, with plenty of cultural treasures to hide the poverty in the Tower Blocks and the underpasses. London is effectively the main of the UK economy, and everything is geared towards it. Hence it retains a degree of economic dynamism that allows a degree of optimism, after all there's always a new restaurant, new exhibition, new flagship store, new play. Sure most workers are dirt poor, living on mashed avocado, and hoping the landlord gets visited by 3 Ghosts at Christmas, but there's the dream of making it in the big city.

Outside the London bubble, large parts of the country are either in despair, or have totally given up. Roads, bridges, hospitals, and schools are crumbling. Police have almost disappeared outside traffic stops. Courts are backlogged, prisons overfilled & well past their designed lifespan. Companies face significant trade barriers with the EU. The water industry is essentially operating on leveraged debt and mostly owned by oversea's pension funds, whilst the infrastructure collapses and raw sewage is being pumped into the rivers/seas. Everyone is underpaid compared to the cost of living, but also compared to many comparable roles in other countries.

In the shires, the more well paid commuter class can still have a nice life, but they are feeling a sharp pinch. Holidays cut. Cars held on to much, much longer than before. Meals out being reduced. Optional extras like music or sports for the kids cancelled. Impulse purchases stopped. All of which sounds like "oh poor Emma can't get her daughter Lucinda piano lessons boo hoo" but think about the economic impact. That is money that would have gone to a piano teacher (usually self employed), to the coffee shop whilst Emma waits, to a music shop for music, perhaps a CD or concert tickets to something Lucinda played at a lesson. Then when Lucinda grows up instead of having a career in arts or entertainment, even at her local bar or church, she doesn't know how to play piano. So society as a whole has lost a musician, and Lucinda as a person flourishes slightly less. The UK arts sector is one of our biggest economic powerhouses, yet it is routinely ignored and hammered by the govt. Art & music are regarded as luxury items, despite contributing £1.6 billion to the annual economy (2021 at 5.6%). That's huge, bigger than the fishing industry which contributes £1.4 billion (2021 at 4%). Yet with rents sky rocketing, and school budgets in utter crisis, arts/music get dropped and creative talent has to switch to more routine jobs to survive. UK Musicians are dropped from EU events following the botched visa system, and international work is increasingly harder for them to get.

Outside the diminishing middle class, the real difficulty and poverty of the UK hits home. People are not sure whether the next rent payment or electricity will quite literally bankrupt them and leave them homeless. Wages are mostly static, with few rises outside a number of key sectors. Some areas have seen wage growth, but that has been concentrated in a small number of jobs (especially finance/management). The population is aging, and the care system is left almost entirely to private companies in a very disjointed, expensive manner. For most people the only credible hope of a financially better life is to inherit or to win the lottery or to commit crime. This is strikingly similar to the pattern seen in many developing world economies.

For example, I have worked in the public sector for 20 years. In that time I have trained, gained professional qualifications, led larger teams, upskilled on IT/project management and become more productive. Since my pay has been capped at a 0.5% rise, it is a real terms wage cut. So I've become more productive yet I'm paid less. Why should I 1) carry on trying to be more productive, & 2) stay in the job? Productivity increases from workers have to be linked to a personal reward, as well as a benefit to an employer or there's no point for the employee. Hence "quiet quitting".

So the UK is in the dire position of poor infrastructure, rampant poverty, and a population that no longer believes hard work or being productive will improve their own lives, only maintain their survival. This is not a recipe for a flourishing economy or nation. The worst thing is that the UK has started to lose hope that things can get better without a magical solution. Without at least some hope, we are doomed.

Saved via reddit from user 'AgeOfVictoriaPodcast' - as an excellent (if depressing!) summary of the UK's economy and society in 2023 / the 2020s / post Brexit

[cursedvibes]

Firstly, thanks for sharing the time period on JJK, it's really helpful. Also, do you mind if I ask a few things?

1.) In Hidden Inventory arc, is it a lie when it said Tengen need Amanai Riko? If it's yes, do they only want Riko to be dead?

2.) When Yuuji ate the finger for the first time, Sukuna is surprised cause he can supress him, did he already supect the connection to Kenjaku?

3.) "It's actually beyond thematically fitting that the antagonist (Kenjaku) who's been sneaking around in the shadows concocting his master plan for centuries got hit with the ultimate sneak move after letting his guard down and having fun for the first time in a thousand years." Do you agree with this statement? Is it true, that Kenjaku really don't suspect Takaba at all?

Sorry again, if my questions are kinda stupid, thanks if you want to answer....

Glad my timeline was helpful :) And your questions are very interesting, don't worry.

1.) Tengen does need Riko if she wants to keep her human appearance and consciousness. She can slow down her evolving process by using barrier techniques, but she can't fully stop it or reset it like what absorbing the Star Plasma Vessel would do. By that point Tengen seemed less invested in her survival/keeping her humanity than the last times the merger happened though, since when talking to Yuki she has a very "what happens happens" attitude towards it. If Riko had been successfully delivered to her, she would've likely merged, but since that didn't happen she only seemed interested in seeing how long she could hold on because especially when Gojo wasn't around anymore, it was pretty obvious that Kenjaku would eventually succeed in getting to her and absorbing her.

2.) I don't think so, at least not immediately after Yuuji ate the first finger. We don't know what kind of binding vow Kenjaku and Sukuna made, but Kenjaku likely promised Sukuna to see to his revival in a thousand years. When Yuuji started eating more fingers and was still able to suppress him is probably when Sukuna figured out what was up and he started coming up with the plan of swapping over to Megumi to be free. So by the time Yuuji died for the first time and he and Sukuna made their binding vow, Sukuna probably had a pretty big suspicion that Kenjaku was somehow involved in making Yuuji such a sturdy vessel.

3.) Eh, I wouldn't exactly call it the "ultimate sneak move", but the whole letting their guard down and that being their downfall/possible death is very appropriate. The scope isn't quite the same, I don't think you can compare this one plan to Kenjaku's entire life philosophy, but it is similar to what they did to Gojo for example. Except Gojo wasn't distracted for that long and in his case it relied more on shock than long-term personal investment. There is also much more of a connection there between Kenjaku, Geto and Gojo (everything from Geto's death onwards and even Kenjaku's history with the six eyes leading up to this) than between Kenjaku and Yuuta. Angel was the one who actually came up with the plan, but we still know very little about her and Kenjaku, just that she doesn't have a problem with them in general, but the merger with Tengen seems to go too far for her (at least I assume that's why she's helping the team take down Kenjaku). She isn't really much of a puppetmaster, she's far too direct and bloodthirsty for that usually. Still, she's at least a better counterpart to Kenjaku than Yuuta. I'd say compared to Gojo's sealing for example everything outside of Kenjaku and Takaba's connection feels very half-assed. Sure, it's "sneaky", but for a big thematic payoff I expect more. Again, Takaba's part about Kenjaku giving in to emotional vulnerability they tried to suppress seemingly their entire life is very well done, everything else not so much.

As for if Kenjaku suspected Takaba, they absolutely did. The moment he shows up Kenjaku knows that the protagonist team send him, they just can't understand why they chose him of all people and what his purpose is. They are also very aware what effect he has on them, both through his cursed technique and just general attitude. That didn't help though because in the end Kenjaku still got lost in the comedy show they were doing together. They were pushing back against it before, but while they were on stage is when they really gave into Takaba's spiel and got distracted. When asking Yuuta about the plan, Kenjaku also accepts what happened very quickly, since that was the suspicion they were having during the entire fight and they were proven right. Only that it happened after they already allowed themselves a moment of weakness.

While being beheaded Kenjaku figures out what went wrong. The wording in Japanese is ambiguous, there is no pronoun here, so it's hard to tell if Kenjaku says they didn't want the interruption or if Takaba did. Personally, I think it was a mix of both. Takaba's cursed technique cut Kenjaku's connection to their sensor curses (I assume he did that unconsciously to not be interrupted and because he wanted Kenjaku's full attention) and Kenjaku was too caught up in their show to notice. So Kenjaku did suspect Takaba had ulterior motives or was working for the protag team during the entire fight, but they had too much fun with him and that resulted in that moment of carelessness that was used against them.

[inconsistentlywrittensoul]

What's My Line part 1 thoughts:

MR GORDO! And Angel can't help playing with him. Someone should really get that guy some plushies of his own - you know he'd love cuddling with them.

Angel: "It's career week." Buffy: "How did you know?" Angel: "I lurk." Angel:

God, he's such an awkward, pathetic disaster [affectionate]. And he knows he is! When he's with Buffy, he's just fumbling around, trying to sound vaguely person-like. But because he's big and quiet and vampiric, everyone interprets his awkwardness as badass brooding.

Buffy says ACAB. Honestly, this subplot is just reminding me how how pre-9/11, the view of cops as corrupt, lazy and/or violent was pretty standard across pop-culture. (I'm currently playing Miles Morales: Spider-Man and it's so weird the way these games treat the NYPD as unambiguous allies, compared to how most Spider-man media has always treated them.)

Buffy and Giles' interactions feel like a regression after the last four eps developing their relationship. To be fair, Buffy is regressing a little due to having feelings about her life (never a good idea, always suppress those), but it still feels odd.

Looking at Spike's obsession with Buffy here, you can really see the origins of his feelings for her, on both a Watsonian and Doylist level.

Snyder, to Xander: "Whatever comes out of your mouth is a meaningless waste of breath. An airborn toxic event." Huh, is Principal Snyder part of the Buffy fandom? He really sounds like the Buffy fandom here.

Feel like Willow and Oz's big computer company opportunity isn't quite as exclusive as they're making it seem, if two students from a small town are being offered it.

Wonder how you comission the Order of Whatever. Is there a ritual, or do you just call them? Do you pay in money? Magical relics? Virgin sacrifices?

The ice-skating is really pretty. That's it, don't have any critical thoughts, it's just super pretty.

The piano soundtrack here isn't the iconic Buffy/Angel theme, but it sounds a little similar? But more innocent. Is this like an earlier variation? I guess it makes sense - this feels like their first real date beyond coffee at the Bronze; the first time they feel like they're in an actual relationship together. Which is kinda weird when they've already confessed their love, but idk, I guess teenagers and vampires are like that.

"Kill as many of these assassins as you want, it won't make any difference. They won't stop. Unless you kill three of them, then they'll stop and never come back. But otherwise? They're completely unstoppable."

Has Buffy been to Angel's place before? It looks significantly nicer than where he was staying in 'Angel'. Fits with the sense that he's gradually learning to be a person. I do wonder how she knows where he lives, though. Like, that can happen off screen, but first time at his place seems like a significant step?

And now Xander has named the Scooby Gang the Scooby Gang! If you don't like the name, blame him. (The writing of Cordelia in this scene feels very Season One though. Not great.)

And Kendra's finally here! Man, these episodes are really paying tribute to Chris Claremont with this accent.

[tomhardyspinkyfinger]

The Good Girl and the Gangster: 3

Summary: Y/N is sick of being the good girl. Alfie puts her back in her place when she acts up.

A/N: Chapter 3! we gettin a lil slutty yall. Just how I like it. Let me know what you think! Shorter chapter this time but I have a break from work and school so hopefully I can get some more chapters up soon! Please please tell me what you think! Your feedback means a lot to me!

Tags: @woofgocows @buttercup32sstuff @rikki-b-lake

Masterlist Part 1 Part 2

It had been a week since I'd seen Alfie. I tried to forget about it and move on, I actually tried to spend time with Jacob, but the proved to be futile.

We had gone to a museum and lunch, both of which were boring and irritating. He spoke over me and explained everything to me as if I were a child. I spent the whole day comparing him to Alfie, Alfie respected what I had to say and never spoke over me. I tried to stop comparing them, especially because I was livid with Alfie, but I couldn't help it.

I sat at the dining room table early in the morning, nibbling at the strawberry on my fork. My mother sat next to me while my father read the paper at the head of the table.

"How was your day with Jacob sweetheart?" Mother questioned.

"Fine." I mumbled, refusing to look at her. She moved on to terrorizing my father.

"Darling, you've been spending quite a bit of time with Mr. Solomons, have you had a change of heart." I hid my reaction of shock but looked at my father for his response.

"No darling, I still think he is a criminal and I disagree with his way of life but he is putting in the effort to become a holier man, so I will assist him on that journey. He came to me recently with concerns about his desires." My father spoke, sipping his coffee.

"He did?" I questioned. My father put down his newspaper and my mother looked at me.

"I just- he's been very kind to me. I worry he is, straying ... away from gods light." I attempted to cover up my interest.

"That is kind of you to worry my love, he says he feels sinful desires towards a betrothed lady and is turning to god for help. I respect him for working on his issues. The criminality is a different issue entirely." My father spoke, going back to his paper.

"I disagree. Making your way is difficult, although I am not defending criminal acts, Alfie- Mr. Solomons has done a lot of good for Camden Town." I defended.

"Y/N-" My mother started.

"I suppose you're right, he has done good. I disagree with his methods but I respect him as a man. Can't imagine what that poor girls father would think if he ever found out his betrothed child was sinning with a gangster." My father shook his head.

"Well, god makes everyone and makes no mistakes so, maybe it isn't as bad as it seems." I spoke, putting my fork down, too unsettled to eat.

"Mm." My father grumbled, going back to his paper. My mother and father began talking and I zoned out,

I really need to stop thinking about Alfie. But clearly he's thinking about me. I wonder what kind of desires? Considering what I felt against my leg when we kissed, his desires are probably similar to mine. Maybe he wants me still? Maybe I should go see him- No! I'm betrothed to Jacob. Gag me. Maybe I'll fall in love with him-

"Yes, I am going to the temple in Camden Town to help set up a charity-"

"Can I come?" I cut my father off. My parents looked at me weird for the second time this morning.

"I just, I want to see the temple there and maybe walk around the shops." I defended.

"I don't know honey, that area isn't very-"

"Nonsense love, our girl is an adult. Yes darling, you can come with me and explore a bit while I work." My father accepted.

"Thank you father." I kissed his cheek and went to get ready.

After a bit of driving, father and I parked in front of the temple. Camden Town was.. different. Smog filled the blue skies and left it a hazy grey. The working area was dirty and filled with dirtier men doing hard labor. I entered the temple ad introduced myself to the Rabbi and helped set up for a while before kissing my fathers cheek and excusing myself to explore.

I wandered the streets, entering a shop every now and then while arguing with myself.

Don't go see him. He left you. You need to move on. Just because he makes you feel -

I looked up and saw I had wondered to the bakery Alfie works in.

Well I'm already here, it wouldn't make sense to leave. I can also cut him a new one for abandoning me.

I entered the bakery and was met with heat from the machinery and a bitter scent that burned my nose. The men looked at me in confusion and desire. I wandered around a bit before stopping a gentlemen taking a break.

"Hello, is Mr. Solomons here?" He nodded and directed me to an office upstairs. I walked up to the glass door with the blinds pulled down and was stopped by a young man.

"Ma'am! You can't go in without an appointment." He exclaimed. I smiled.

"He's expecting me." I opened the door and entered the office, shutting it behind me. There he sat, feet propped up on the desk and hat tipped low, his glasses resting on his nose as he scanned the paper in his hands.

"Ollie, fuck off mate." His voice called out, yet to look up.

"I should be the one saying that to you, but here I am." I spoke. He looked up at me and tossed his paper on the desk, sitting up and putting his legs down.

"What're you doin' 'ere?" He questioned, his hands intertwined as he looked at me over his glasses.

"I was in the area, figured I 'd stop by." I spoke, exploring the office and messing with the shelves and drawers.

"Go ahead treacle." He spoke. I huffed.

"Don't act like you know why I'm here." I crossed my arms and faced him, now closer to his desk.

"I do. You want to know why I left."

"Why did you leave?" I questioned, giving in. He sighed, removing his hat and glasses.

"You're gettin' married." He spoke simply.

"As if that bothers you, that's an excuse. You're just a scared little boy Alfie." I snapped. He grunted.

"That's enough." He commanded.

"Is it? Is it enough?" I questioned.

"You're a fuckin' child, treacle. A prissy child, ain't got no business bein' around me." He explained. I felt my rage boiling over.

"Fuck you! You're the one person who didn't treat me like a baby. You want an adult? A grown woman who does grown things? Fine." I spoke, grabbing the bottle of what I assume id alcohol off his desk and pouring myself a glass. He watched silently as I downed the contents in the glass.

What the fuck is this?!

It burned tremendously and hurt going down my throat. I hid my reaction as best I could, pushing down the amber liquid and gagging a bit.

"Feel better?" He questioned, leaning back in his chair and placing his hands over his stomach. I rolled my eyes.

"Fuck you, Alfie." I spoke. Now that I've started cursing it's hard to stop.

"An' you think you're an adult, right? Doin' a shit job at provin' it, love." He spoke, still not giving me any reaction.

"You're still deflecting! You're scared! You haven't given me any real reason why you left. You're a scared cunt! Can't handle a 'child' like me clearly! Even though you're the one who kissed me, Alfie. You're a fucking jerk-" Alfie was up from his desk, storming over to me and grabbing me by the neck, looking down at me with an intense eyes. Got him.

"Shut your fuckin' mouth, treacle. I'm not fuckin' daft. I know what you want. You're going to be a good girl an' ask for it." Alfie demanded, his grip on my neck making my stomach flutter with lust.

"Kiss me please. I-I can't stop thinking about you." I spoke, my voice above a whisper. Alfie smashed his lips on mine. I reacted instantly and kissed back, putting my hands around his neck. He removed his hand from my neck and put them around my waist, hoisting me up and putting me on the desk. He started kissing my neck and speaking between kisses,

"Can't stop thinkin' about you, treacle. Night n' fuckin' day. You come in here beggin' me to play with you and I can't fuckin' resist." He grumbled out, his plump lips wetting my exposed collarbone. I moaned quietly and wrapped my legs around his waist, beginning to gently move my hips against his. He pulled away and grabbed my chin, forcing me to look in his eyes.

"Tell me what you want, dove." He instructed. I whined a bit.

"T-touch me, please." I whispered. He shook his head.

"Where do you want me?" He pressed.

"I want your fingers.. please." I all but pleaded. He put his hand up my skirt and rubbed my thig before his thumb made contact with my clothed clit. I gasped and buried my face in his chest. He used his other hand and gripped my hair firmly, pulling me back to look at him as he rubbed my clit.

"Christ fuckin' soaked you are." He muttered, moving his hand to my mound and slipping it into my panties, using two fingers to rub through my wet folds. I moaned and threw my head back, moving my hips against his hand. He removed his hand and took a step back, pushing my legs open wider and getting on his knees. He pulled my panties down below my knees and bit my thigh gently.

"Alfie, please." I whimpered, my hands in his hair. He moved his lips to my clit, sucking it and drawing louder moans out of me. His kisses moved lower, his tongue entering me. I cried out and squeezed his head with my thighs. He pushed them away and moved back up to my clit.

"Can you take my finger dove?" He questioned between breaths. I nodded.

"Mhm, please Alf. I've done it a few times." I confessed. He hummed against me.

"M'sure you have." He spoke before gently pushing a finger into me while sucking my clit. I moaned out and gripped his hair tighter in my fists. I felt a bit of pressure form the size of his finger, but as he began moving it in and out I felt the pleasure overwhelm me.

"Alfie k-keep going I'm close." I moaned out, moving my hips against his face. He sped up, pulling me to the edge before slowing down again. I let out a frustrated groan.

"Tell me you're sorry for bein' a fuckin' brat. Beg me to finish off this pretty cunt." He instructed, holding down my legs and looking up at my from between my thighs.

"Fuck! Alfie. M'sorry. I didn't mean it. This is what I wanted, I was being a brat so you would snap and give me what I want. Please don't stop." I confessed. He hummed and got back to work, fingering me quicky and pushing me over the edge.

"That's right, love. So fuckin' needy ain't you?" Alfie muttered into me as I came, throwing my head back and letting out the loudest moan yet. He cleaned me up with his tongue and moved his way up my body, kissing me.

"Need you, Alfie. Please." I begged, my eyes hooded.

"Nah, ain't fuckin' you on a desk. Patience." He spoke, brushing my hair out of my flushed face. He reached underneath me and pulled my panties back up, securing them in place.

"C'mon then dove, lets go get lunch." He spoke. He gave me a few minutes to gather myself before we were walking down the streets of Camden Town.

We settled on a quaint restaurant owned by a Jewish couple Alfie knew.

"Mr. Solomons! So lovely to see you again! Who is this beautiful young lady?" An older woman exclaimed after giving Alfie a hug.

"This here is Y/N. Friend of mine." He explained. I introduced myself and she kissed my cheeks.

"Beautiful! Finally you come in here with someone! This man is a godsend. saved our business when we had money troubles." She spoke. I smiled and she showed us to our table before wandering off.

"She seems sweet. You're a good man for helping her." I spoke.

"Yeah, been comin' 'ere for years. Good woman." He spoke, deflecting the compliment.

We spent the next two hours getting to know each other and eating good food before the conversation came to a halt.

"Alfie." I spoke, swallowing my nerves. He looked at me and mumbled for me to continue.

"I don't want to marry Jacob. I want to be with you."

[time-is-restored]

I took offense to “most cringe fail meow meow in recent history” until I realized it was a compliment 👍 she is minmaxing her life isn’t she (the caretaker for instance) anyway I think Clara and Martha would be friends but would also have a complicated relationship

oh im genuinely so glad u realised it was a compliment it would KILL me if ppl thought i just like. was unironically shitting on clara omg she's one of my favourite characters in like... ANYTHING, ever. i am OBSESSED w her twisted mind..

(expanding on my martha + clara dynamic thoughts under the cut bc it got OBSCENELY long lol)

i also completely agree w that clara and martha take! on the surface, i think they would make very good acquaintances/casual friends. they share the same inquisitive + intellectual nature, so i feel like they approach problem solving very similarly. it's hard to give a concrete example, since no companion has ever faced the EXACT same mystery, but what comes to mind for me is martha realising its safe to open the windows in smith + jones, and killing the engines in gridlock to hide from. whatever the monster was that episode LOL. compared with clara noticing the similar poses in Hide, and learning to make rapid-fire deductions to bluff her way out of danger, like in The Girl Who Died.

from memory they also have pretty similar sense of humour, and as unlikely it would be to come up in casual conversation, they can also both relate to being forgotten by the doctor, though at least in martha's case it was only a temporary measure.

however, i think beyond the level of occasional friends/allies, shit would definitely get tense. martha's arc is defined by how she never can truly adjust to the loss + death that follows the doctor wherever he goes, and how that's a good thing, and makes her such a good person + doctor. her priority is always saving + healing as many people as possible, and the level of distress she experiences after losing someone never seems to lessen (i can't quite remember its name, but the dolphin alien in the doctor's daughter comes to mind - at that point, martha has seen COUNTLESS fatalities, both while walking the earth and working for UNIT, which isn't exactly a chill desk job. but still, she cries like she's just lost a close friend, because she has). she feels everything incredibly deeply, and even though she does appear to develop a 'soldier's mentality' or whatever the fuck it is that davros calls it in journeys end, when she threatens to destroy the earth to disrupt the dalek's plan, to ME the most important part of that sequence is that she doesn't genuinely try to stop the housekeeper from shooting her/preventing her from using the key. she understands that what she's about to do is terrible, and would not blame anyone from stopping her - does not resent them from trying. there's no ego driving her actions here, just experience.

when we compare that with clara... now, listen, i wanna give a disclaimer here and say that i in NO way believe that clara is a paticularly cruel or callous person. but she ABSOLUTELY 'goes native' to a degree that martha explicitly refuses to (i can NOT see her rolling over to the housekeeper for even a second, if her and martha's places were switched, for example). sure, the adventuring is addictive, but she also learns to compartmentalise other people's deaths in a way that pretty much... no one other than the doctor himself seems to learn to do? she's hardly gunning down innocents, but she encourages ppl to risk themselves for the greater good (before the flood), and explicitly deceives people about their chances of survival (mummy on the orient express, flatline). as seen in her final sacrifice with rigsy, it's not like she's unwilling to walk the walk, but that familiarity with death + loss is something that's freaked out virtually every companion that's ever traveled with the doctor, and by the end of her journey, im pretty sure clara deals with loss in an almost indistinguishable way to him.

compound that with clara's control issues (if it came down to it, could she really trust martha with key components of any plan, even if she is intellectually aware of her capability + experience?) and plain old ego (while i do think clara in s9 has grown a fair bit away from her 'dont lump me in w the rest of those puny humans' rant in kill the moon, as viewed from an outsider POV, martha's job at UNIT automatically puts her as 'lesser' in clara's eyes, just bc of how often travelling w the doctor involves scoffing at local armies as they royally fuck everything up. WE know that martha's more than just someone else's lackey, but would clara?)... yeesh. at minimum, im seeing clara being condescending + dismissive, and martha being (almost DEFINITELY rightfully) outraged at clara's cavalier, too-cool-for-emotions attitude, and associating her with the doctor's worst moments.

ofc they could work THROUGH these issues with time - ultimately, both of them became very close with and fond of the doctor, and that takes a particular type of tolerance to some... frequently grating personality traits LMAO. not to mention how well they could bond if they gave each other half the chance (sarah jane + rose, martha + donna - companions all inherently have a lot in common! the love of adventure, of exploration, of being able to be part in something so much BIGGER than every day life..)!

tl;dr despite my dismay over the poll, they realistically actually WOULD fight, quite a bit. but im a firm believer in the healing power of the 'talking shit -> being proven wrong' pipeline, not to mention the power of female characters unionising, so i like to imagine that they could one day be good friends :)

[oldcoyote]

murphels replied to your post:

you are not taking it away from someone who needs it bc you are a person who needs it. having to berate yourself into not eating isnt “helping” you its making you feel even worse.

i'm talking about people who need it to not die. my medical situation is unfortunate, but not dire compared with most people who genuinely need the drug to survive and have quality of life. and the berating seems mean, i know, but it does work - it stops me from eating, which i then feel better about for resisting, instead of ashamed and angry at myself for binging.

ceeturnalia replied to your post:

i have been taking one of these drugs (not ozempic but a similar one) for about 18 months and it’s not like. a magical fat melter okay? that’s not how it works even if it sort of looks that way from the outside. part of the way it DOES work is creating a satiety effect. so even if it were true that your whole “problem” is willpower, these drugs sort of give you that willpower? i still want to eat when im hungry but i am full faster and im not eating out of boredom or self-soothing. and when the urge to overdo it is reduced, suddenly there’s room in my brain for other stuff. i can enjoy other things. it didn’t cure my original brain damage (i had a very scary depressive episode last year just for example, ugh) but it helps create space, idk how else to describe it. i can and do sit down with a pint of ice cream when i want to, but the desire isn’t constant and it is *easily satisfied* and as for what other people might say, you know you can just tell them to fuck off and die, right? you have that option right now. even if you don’t go for the drug, you can exercise the FYYFF option as often as you want

that's very good to know, and changes my perspective on the drug quite a bit. that kind of help would be amazing, i can't deny. i just feel a degree of frustration that i can't do it on my own. after an entire adulthood of being obese and everybody in my life knowing that i'll never be strong enough to fix it, i wanted so badly to be strong enough to fix it without "cheating" (in their eyes). i wanted to prove them wrong

i am very much afraid of what other people think at all times and god i wish i had the strength to not care. i would give anything for that. it would change my entire life, to just stop having other people's opinions of me be the most important thing about me. i just don't know how to do that. no therapist seems to be able to figure out how to help me do that, either.

i will keep thinking on it. knowing more about it is incredibly helpful and thank you so much for being so honest boo the fact that you're on it changes a lot for me in terms of the way i think of it. 💛

[sanchoi21]

The Mysterious Father

Ikemen Vampire Johann Faust x Reader

Warnings: Contains spoilers of Faust route. Fluff and comfort.

Today too you went to old Church in the evening. The inviting silence and dim candle lights always calmed your mind down after a long day at mansion. You loved the mansion's residents, as they always took care of you and were like a family to you by now. But you still missed the old days when you were in your timeline, working as a travel blogger. After all it was your favorite job, which you couldn't do anymore. When you were going to return to 21st century the door had broken for some reason and you were still stuck here. No matter how beautiful and good your life was here, you still missed your hometown and family. Church was the only place which gave you similar vibes to your hometown Church where you used to go as a kid with your parents.

Coming to the old Church had two reasons, one, it was quite in evening and no one disturbed you, two, the priest was a handsome man, Faust, to whom you had grown a crush for. Seeing you seated on one of the benches, Faust glanced at you from aisle. His gaze was sharp, a gaze which can see right through your soul and existence. Seeing that sad look on your face for the nth time, he approached you.

Faust: What's wrong kid? You seem quite upset today.

Y/n: Father... It's just that I miss my family and hometown a lot. I can't go there for now atleast.

Faust: That must be really sad.. But atleast you have something to miss for...

Y/n: What do you mean Father??

Faust: I'll tell you a story. There was a boy who lost his everything at a very young age. He also lost the only person whom he used to call family. What do you think he did after that??

Y/n: He lived on with the pain forever in his heart.

Faust: Exactly! That's just how life works. It's never fair with anyone. That's why we should live on and make the most of it while it lasts. Missing someone will only give you pain. If you think about it, then your parents won't like you being sad, so stop being sad for that reason, as they are always with you, because you yourself are a proof of their existence. Never forget that, child.

Hearing Faust's words brought a sense of relief and comfort over you. No one has ever told you anything like that. His words were harsh yet beautiful making you let go of all your emotions which you had bottled up since your arrival here. Your emotions flowed through your eyes in crystalline tears. All this time you couldn't bring yourself to cry or let loose in front of mansion's residents as it might have worried them a lot. But now here you are crying in front of the Priest, who you don't even know well still you feel quite attached to him.

As your tears continued to flow, Faust just stared at you astonished by the fact, that how can anyone be so delicate, fragile, weak nothing like himself. But deep inside he somewhere saw his own broken image in you, which had him be interested in you since very beginning.

As he saw you cry he couldn't help but got on his knees to get to your eye level and he gently wiped your tears with his handkerchiff. He himself wondered why he did that. It was so unlike him to care for a stranger, but here he was, caring for you and adoring you. Once you had calmed down, you looked at him in the eyes and smiled widely.

Y/n: Thankyou so much Father. I feel much lighter now. Thanks for guiding me.

Faust: Just call me Faust. Everyone calls me Father so that would be a good change. What's your name?

Y/n: Sure, F-Faust. My name is Y/n.

Faust: So Y/n, would you like to come with me for dinner now??

Y/n: Sure!! I would love to.

Saying this, Faust guided you out of Church and as you walked beside him, you noticed just how tall he was compared to you. You both walked in the moon night as he took you to a small cabin in a forest. You assumed it was his home or hide out spot for his other activities. Once you entered the cabin, you were instantly surrounded by a warm smell of firewood and books. It was an old cabin but it had a comforting warmth to it.

Faust told you to sit on couch till he cooked something to eat. You were genuinely surprised to know that he could cook, so instead of sitting idly you offered to help. While talking over somethings here and there Faust was slowly opening up to you, but he kept his deepest secrets hidden because he didn't want a stranger to know his true self. You indeed were interesting to him as you always fought your problems head on and hoped even though it was futile sometimes according to him, but he was still quite skeptical about his interest in you, as he dismissed the thought by thinking you will be a good guinea pig for his experiments later on.

You both cooked dinner and ate it. It was indeed delicious, for that matter, more delicious than what Sebestian made at the mansion. You carefreely ate the dinner giving compliments to Faust about how good it was. Faust looked at you with a frown and said,

Faust: Y/n...You know, you shouldn't eat something given by a stranger??

Y/n: But you are no stranger!! I see you every day at Church. Plus we have talked many times before and I know you wouldn't slip something in my food.

Faust: And how are you so sure about that??

Y/n: Because I just know it. You are a kind man Faust. I know you wouldn't do something like that.

Faust: How come I am kind??

Y/n: I have seen you give medicine to sick and poor.

Faust: Look, that's just because I had to test my new medicine, you know I am an alchemist!!

Y/n: Still, for me me it's a kind gesture. You even play with kids in your free time.

Faust: No I don't!! They just come to bother me anyway.

Y/n: Haa ha.... But you still entertain them.

Faust: You don't understand, do you??

Y/n: Ohh! One more reason why I come everyday to Church.

Faust: Yeah, and what it is??

Y/n: To see you, of course!! You are too handsome to resist!!

Faust: W-WHAT???

Y/n: Oh Father!! Have you never received any compliments?? It's true that you are very handsome, the first time I saw you I was stunned. You looked ethereal as if you didn't belong to this world!!

Faust: Hey kid, you know it's rude to flirt with the priest?!! Thanks for the compliments though.

Y/n: You talk as if you are way older than me!!

Faust: Of course I am!! I look young but I am quite older than you.

Y/n: I guess the I should call you grandpa!!

Saying this you started laughing. Faust's stunned expression was worth it. He playfully smacked you on head saying," Hey I am not grandpa!!". You both laughed at each other for a while before eventually calming down.

Faust: That was quite a great laugh I had in a while. Thankyou Y/n...

Y/n: Thanks to you too, Faust.. My mind is very much at ease now.

Faust: It's late, you can stay here if you want. Or I'll walk you back to your home.

Y/n: Thanks but just get me to a carriage. I'll go by myself after that. Don't wanna trouble you any longer Father..

Faust: Ok but it's late, so I'll drop you at your home and then take the same carriage back here. No arguments.

Y/n: Fine...

You and Faust walked till where you could find a carriage. After you both sat in the carriage, you told the driver your address and had a nice chat with Faust. Once you got down at front of the mansion, you waved to him and entered inside the mansion only to be greeted by worried Sebastian and other residents. To whom you lied and said that the Church prayers lasted a bit longer so your friend dropped you off. Everyone calmed down after seeing that you were safe. You returned to your bedroom feeling high, on the thought of Faust and the time you both spent together. You wished to meet him soon again tomorrow. He was such an interesting and mysterious person, it left you yearning for more.

Faust pov

She lives here?? Mansion of Le Comte?? Ohh so this is the girl that Lord Vlad had told us about. The infamous time traveller. But she is indeed different and too carefree for her own good. Hehehe... She's interesting. Indeed she will be a good guinea pig for my experiments. Hope to meet you soon, Y/n...

[ciricesghost]

I made a list of reasons why I think TF will off Copia sometime next year, and also reasons why I think he'll be around for longer because I just can't make up my mind. I'm rambling here, I've had this in my drafts for a while and just took notes whenever I thought of something. Most of this is just heavy speculation and probably doesn't make any sense!

OH LAWD IT'S COMIN':

✞ Copia acts paranoid on stage.

✞ Seemingly does things he doesn't have control over, as shown when he fingered the mic stand at a show and then immediately looked shocked at his own actions and stomped away.

✞ Hallucinated the creepy twins for whatever reason.

✞ He's won the second most employee of the month awards. Meaning who's #1? Was he deliberately made #2? Is the next Papa going to be the one that's won most awards?

✞ All Papas get switched out, that's just how it goes. Tobias has said that he'd keep Copia for longer than the other Papas, for 5 or so years. And he has, next year will be the 5 year mark.

✞ Papa IV said all good things must come to an end after the tour. And we all know Tobias is a sucker for double-meanings. He also says something similar in ROTS:

I'll be the shadow, you'll be the light, nothing ever lasts forever, we will go softly into the night

✞ There's been hinting at revival of one of the papas. The band t-shirt portraying Papa I, II & III which they called return of the living dead. Then the FTPTTP music video! Where Terzo really just rises from the dead, dressing into his papal attire and makeup. Terzo's foot also twitched in the Chapter Three video. They probably did this for shits and giggles but it's worth mentioning. I don't really see how he might come back from the dead after literally being beheaded but it's Ghost! So who knows!

✞ The Spillways music video quoting the bible verse. It says “I loathe my very life; therefore I will give free rein to my complaint and speak out in the bitterness of my soul".

✞ The Chapter 13 video. The Saltarian mentions the european summer tour. Lyrics from DATHML; When the summer dies, severing the ties...

The entire song is very soothing and bittersweet. Like Copia is comforting us. He repeats the lyrics I'm with you always. And at the end we're hit with; And all this time you knew, that I would put you through; the darkness at the heart of my love for you.

It's like he's saying that we've always known that one day he'll be gone, but we cared for him anyway. The darkness at the core of his love is the fact that it can never last.

The Saltarian told Copia it's sometimes more sane to remain in bliss. That feels like a hint to the audience to stop worrying about Copia and just tag along for the ride. This message could be taken any way really but I choose to interpret it as an 'enjoy it while it lasts' type of thing.

In that video, we can also see that Copia looks older. His hair is graying. His clothes on tour are also torn and ripped.

✞ The lyrics in Hunter's Moon;

I'm comin', I'm dying to see you one last time together

IT MIGHT NOT BE COMIN' (yet):

✞ Girlboss Imperator really likes him and wants him to succeed. She fought tooth and nail for him to become Papa. It's also heavily implied that she is his mother. She's quite unpredictable and manipulative though so the fact that she's his ma could be either good or bad/make no difference.

✞ Copia possibly knows what might be coming for him. The others didn't, they never expected to be offed (I think?). He thus knows what's at stake, and either makes sure he's still useful and valuable to the clergy, or he just chills out and has fun while it lasts until he inevitably dies (or goes nuts from the pressure).

✞ Tobias has said that he doesn't want to be repetitive (ie maybe not kill off all papas?). And now that we're all actively worrying about Copia and expecting him to die after the tour next year it feels like he might do something we do not expect.

✞ He's a damn good Papa, he's still relatively young compared to the others and there is no known next of kin or otherwise to pass the mic onto.

✞ Somehow this feels important; Papa Nihil was alive during the Papa Slaughter™. He's a ghost now, which may or may not change things in terms of how the lore progresses.

✞ Copia is different from the other Papas. Where the others were from the direct bloodline and got their titles practically handed to them, Copia has actually worked for it and earned it.

✞ There's been some talk of Copia being the antichrist.

✞ I have a feeling Tobias might gonna throw a curveball at us like kill him off just to revive him later. Papa Nihil did it, why not Popia?

✞ Covid stole 2 years of tours and thus potentially stalled the progress they could've made that Tobias is going to make up for now.

✞ They only recently released Impera. The album cycle may take longer to complete than til' next summer. They haven't even done all the songs on tour this year. They'll probably do the European tour and then USA again before any big changes.

✞ Copia will be replaced eventually for sure, but he might not be killed off. He's not Papa by blood. All the others were, and they died thus ending the bloodline, which was the point. Papa Nihil was the last known 'true' Emeritus alive to pass down the genes. Unless peepaw really is Copia's father. Point is that so far there really isn't any known reason so far for him to die just yet.

[inlocusmads]

hey mads!! this is super random lol but i noticed you usually add paintings as your banners at the top of your fanfics. (i Cannot figure out how to word that more concisely barhdhdj) but anyways i was just wondering how you choose them? do the paintings remind you of the overall theme your writing, or do you just like the art itself?

have a good day! 🫶

Hey there!! Okay, I love talking about easter eggs because I hide like, a ton of them in some of my stuff. And choosing the banner has to be my absolute favourite thing to do. This was loosely inspired by the tapestry in the Guinevere book, because in the start up screen - if my memory isn't that bad, you had this banner depicting the story - slowly panning to the side.

I was also inspired by the actual myth of Tristan and Isolde. While Trystan and Nora don't aren't really comparable to Tristan and Isolde (or Iseult) as an exact match, they are dramatic bastards. This fic has a painting of Tristan and Iseult/Isolde as a callback to when they used aliases to infiltrate the imitation cult and it was particularly relevant in this fic, because even though the painting is supposed to depict a cup of supposed "love potion", I take it as them actually having each other's backs; seeking comfort in each other - as a "home", being able to trust each other. More Tristan and Isolde references here, here and here!

This fic has a still-life painting of a goblet and plums. I'd say this is kind of direct, since Trystan steals a family heirloom in this. (Or multiple family heirlooms)

This one has a picture of Saint Catherine of Alexandria, who was rumoured to be Joan of Arc's advisor. It kind of fits (?) with the relationship Nora has with her underground contacts, such as Bull, because she's more of a go-getter than a strategist, which would often leave her unassured and wounded. Although I didn't realise there were layers to this until recently and picked the painting because Catherine of Alexandria had nice eyes in it.

This painting is based on an album cover by this artist. Although I can't track down the original artist this is likely commissioned from, I kind of liked the whole urban aesthetic which fits in with the fic. So yes, half of them are just pure vibes and other half is just, the illuminati or something.

Now this fic had a banner which was tough to track down to. I got the image from Pinterest, because I was looking for "lonely bus stops", because it deals with themes of loneliness and longing, left behind by this fic (Past Lives) which was its predecessor that I was working on. I didn't realise it had some similarities with the cover of a music single with quite possibly the most FITTING title known to mankind - The Silent Conversation. I was just going for the vibes and I didn't realise I had unknowingly planted a direct reference to the EXACT THEME/what I wanted to convey! Also Past Lives features this image taken by Jan Meissner which is, I believe, a picture of Mercer Street in Manhattan (a quick look at the file name tells me so). Nora's teenage home is situated in Manhattan, though not in Mercer Street. I chose it because it resembled the kind of apartments I envisioned Uncle Tommy and Nora would have lived in, especially for this headcanon to happen. (A link to an interview with Jan.)

This happened was because I found seagulls to be funny birds. I was also kind of curious as to where that spot of text went - y'know the one that reads 'something something others, merchants' and I thought hey, it could be like a Pinterest collage thing and searched up that spot of text and it matched some similarities with this website of archived missent/misdirected mail for some reason? I mean, I could go all 'mad conspiracy theorist on it' and try to make sense of A and B, but I'm just going to stop here lol. The website's pretty interesting though!

This pride banner has been circulating in and around the 'net for a while. There is also a Redbubble sticker, though I'm not sure if the edit inspired the sticker or the sticker inspired the edit. I picked it because it looked like Michaelangelo's David (no it is not, great job Mads, ofc you'd look at any sculpture of a man and go 'oh it's david!') and the sculpture usually represents 'freedom and strength' and if you were to look at it from a David & Goliath angle, it's more about the courage to stand up to an adversary. Trystan does share a lot of those emotions while attending his first pride march in New York.

To cycle back to your ACTUAL question:

yes, sometimes I go with the vibes.

yes, sometimes I choose a painting or an artwork based on one line from the fic. Just ONE line. It helps narrow down my search a lot easier.

yes, sometimes I just like the art too. Especially the fics that have these photographs of streets or shoes or buildings; something that adds some flavour to it.

Honestly while I'm thinking of slowly revamping my fics (I am revamping them at a snail's pace right now) , I have decided to only put in pictures of paintings (either medieval or post-modern, etc, though I tend to go with artworks that have details and something going on) because as lazy as this might sound, they are, admittedly, easier to credit. Going through Pinterest for inspiration and data does help because it throws art at your face, but it is harder to track down the original source because they're all reposted or edited with filters most of the time. It is sad.

And I don't even know who took the picture or who painted the thing, because even if I reverse-search the image, I can only find some sparse titles or blog posts or just something completely different. It sucks. I want to lessen my dependence on Pinterest, because of the fact that it is equally difficult to fathom what I'm looking for. Maybe I'll make some of my own art, hoping I get good at it with some practice.

But as of now, I stick to paintings! Because a lot of them are severely underrated and they're pretty nice to look at too.

WOAH that's a lot of hyperlinks. I am so sorry.

(This is just an incredibly long excuse to say I can't graphic design to save my life.)

Thanks so much for asking! I am sorry I went on a tangent there lmfaooo

[marshmallowprotection]

Replaying Jaehee's route really got me thinking about her becoming close friends with Saeran after his AE. Like, yeah there's the whole thing with them both being interested in cooking, desserts, ect but the thing that really caught my attention was the discussion about freedom and what it means to search for your own happiness in life. I can't help but think about how Saeran would relate to her struggle with finding enough courage to pursue what she really wants in life on a deeply personal level. Sure, it's quite different from his own situation, but their journey is oddly similar! She feels like the world will judge her if she decides to do what she wants in life, and even though she WANTS to escape, that means taking the risk of possible failure head on. And... it's scary. After all, there's nothing special about her, she shouldn't get all high and mighty and just do whatever she wants, right? That'd be selfish and arrogant... She should just be grateful for what she already has.

I can't help but remember Saeran's own conflict in that regard. Now I just want to imagine her and Saeran growing close with him helping her find her confidence to start up on her own path without any doubt in her heart. Better yet, what if they open up a cafe together? Or a cafe with a flower shop inside as a bonus :)

Here's some examples btw:

I have to agree. Saeran personally has nothing against the RFA members once he's free from Mint Eye, but it's obvious that he always respected Jumin Han and Jaehee Kang. He knew they happened to be smart people who could snuff out lies without trouble. As far as knowing them closely, he didn't until he came directly into contact at C&R after you flee Mint Eye.

He finds it's simple to work with them and they unite well in hopes of a common goal. Building bonds with them is hard, though. He feels a bit anxious about the past even if it's beyond him, looking at the RFA is like looking at a screen he never thought he'd find. They treat him in a way he never expected. He gets respect and compassion despite everything. Jaehee and Jumin were the first to greet him face to face and he knows he doesn't need to feel paranoid.

Those two understand how to be straightforward and that language helps him a lot. He struggles with Zen and Yoosung because they're a lot more casual and lax compared to him, but he's working on that. In this case, we know that Jaehee is the one closest to him in the office since they work together non-stop when Jumin isn't around and she's been left to her device.

Now, Saeran already knows a bit about her, but he doesn't know it all. He can probably piece it together with the way she talks about things in her life. She often pushes aside compliments and insists that she's capable of better. It won't take all that long for him to realize that she was treated a lot like him.

They were constantly trying to please somebody that would never be happy with their potential.

It's hard to be reaching for something like that when you're a child. You think that if you keep pushing yourself harder and harder then you will be acknowledged. But, it’s never the case. These kinds of thoughts and feelings manifest themselves in your personality more than you realize until you start to do some self-reflection and healing later in life. This is true for Jaehee's route and Saeran's. They need a kick to see it.

I feel like they could have a really good heart-to-heart on this subject. I don't know how it would come up and I don't know how it would play out but what I do know about it is that Saeran would finally be in a position where he’s giving the advice his MC gave him to another person in need. He took to heart the warm words he once received when it was easy to beat himself up instead of doing anything else to help himself. He can take that lesson that he learned and that he's still learning and give it to somebody else who needs to hear it. 

It's kind of funny to think about it. Ray once commented that Jaehee was just a fussy secretary that was too noisy for her own good, but at this point, he can see that Jaehee is more than that. She's a kind and compassionate person who hasn't quite found the thing in life that's made just for her. She's going through the motions just like Ray did in the past. GE Saeran can see that now in hindsight.

Personally, I love the thought of Jaehee and Saeran working together! I think they’d be such a power duo. She makes the drinks and he bakes the cakes. They would be unstoppable if you put them into the same job because the two of their heads are better together than as one.

I genuinely think what they could learn from each other is that it's okay to stumble and fall when you're trying to figure out the best way to be happy. That's a lesson that you can keep learning over and over again throughout life. You don't learn at once; Sometimes you have to learn it a few times before it sticks.

You can clearly see in Saeran’s AE that Jaehee admires him. All of the members of the RFA admire him for their own personal reasons but this is a good take on what she feels about him. It's obvious that a part of her wishes that she had the strength and confidence to believe in herself like that. She's not yet to that point but we know that someday she'll be able to get there. She just has to find some people that believe in her so that she can realize that she's had the ability to believe in herself all along.

[burymeinblack2022]

i used to adore panic from my early to late teens and still listen to the first four pretty often but i just can't for the life of me get into pftw & the three singles. idk if it's cause i don't like urine as a person or if his songwriting is genuinely just awful imo but i can't stop hating on it <3 also i keep seeing people say the new one has pretty odd vibes?? like po was actually good & imaginative idk what they're on about. or maybe i'm just a bitter old person now lmao

tbf i only got into panic right when 'they' were starting the too weird era and even when i was most into them i wasn't *that* familiar with the band's history/drama but no i think ur right lol i don't think he's ever rly been a great songwriter what he's had, however, is a lot of luck and talented ppl in his corner he could hide behind (bc the frontman is always gonna be the center of attention regardless of their involvement in the process)

ryan was always the one responsible for the theatrical/creative aspects and the lyrics in the beggining and you could tell bc there was a shift when he left but it was still pretty good bc of jon's (i think? correct me if i'm wrong) and pete’s involvement in vices. then around that time i think dallon joined, and we know he's a pretty good songwriter and artist in general, and someone else said it best in the tag that too weird was basically repuposed brobecks he didn't release and he carried most of that album on his back ...beebo piss basically just showed up and sang. i quite liked that one but i can't listen to it now bc remembering how shit beebo piss is and my hatred for him vs how much i love certain songs makes trying to listen feel like i'm a demon trying to enter a church lmao 💀

then doab you can tell he was more involved bc it was MIIIIIILES from what the 'band' used to be and a lot more focused on like, lyrics-wise living large and the pursuit of fame, money and drugs with a bunch of high notes so you'd think it was amazing (and my 15/16 y.o ass thought like half that album was THE SHIT for how it sounded) less creative both in lyrics and imagery and more in line with what was popping off at the time instead of going against the current

but like literally with pftw (which even when i was listening to him still i thought was just the cringiest and most try-hard name) is when it really starts to show he's literally just bad lyrics and high notes in a trenchcoat bc dallon wasn't there anymore and there was no one to hide behind so he had to do all that shit himself. i s2g the only time i listened to that album in full, a bunch of songs fused together in my subconscious bc they all sounded SO SIMILAR i knew they were different but they were just....eh i don't remember being super blown away by any of it and it was by far my least favorite bc it was just. SO pop. i simply couldn’t even bring myself to listen to that silver lining song bc the lyrics and the singing were ATROCIOUS like.....oh my god. yeah...

i haven't listened to any of the singles from this album except for a clip of the newer one to see how bad it was and....it wasn't just bad...it was *REALLY* bad. there's this massive post that compares his newer stuff to rejected imagine dragons and i think that's kinda generous bc imagine dragons might not be 'amazing' but at least they're consistent and the vocals/production is alright. even before for mr piss if the lyrics weren't great he could hide behind good vocals, decent production or talented band members but now even his voice, the star of the show, now sounds so strained from all the drinking and smoking that he can't pull those same notes he used to as his 'one trick' so it's straight up unsalvagable because there's nothing going for it like 'oh the song isn't great but the lyrics are good' none of that. it's just ALL bad now.

i've seen ppl say 'oh but he wrote some songs in po and those were good it's bc he has a lot of cowriters' but it's like. if he was actually good on his own he wouldn't need them and working with them wouldn't make the music worse. i think he's gotten way too comfortable over the years with other ppl doing the work for him and letting fame get to his head and he's no longer capable of making anything good bc he's not that person he used to be (and even then idk if he was v good as a person...)*edit: he's also surrounded by yes men and enablers (Idk if that creepazoid Zack is still around...)*he's been beating a dead horse for years after everyone that made it what it was (good, unique,etc.) left and thinking he was too big to fail. now no one's interested in his music anymore bc not only is he shit, his music is shit too. u kinda almost have to wonder how he managed to push everyone away. he should have taken the L and let the band name go years ago but he knows he's nothing without it and anything he can do on his own will never reach that level so he's living in a shadow thriving of the nostalgia of times long gone but it's just starting to not cut it anymore and people are starting to really see it, i think.

also i absolutely from the bits i have unfortunately seen, don't think it resembles po in any sort of way: it's not folksy, it's not imaginative it's just more sterilized top 40 friendly pop that sounds like 50 other artists and you could tell me anyone else made and i'd be none the wiser. there's no heart it in but it's sure to do well.....delusion is one hell of a drug ig

sorry this was so long i get mad talking abt his stupid ass i could dunk on him for dayyyyys