#and i do have anons on and love making friends in fandom spaces- but lets keep it civil pls

[quirkedupkicks]

im Olly💙

old head weeb, i draw things

bi trans guy

midoriya izuku is my son and i would commit a thousand atrocities for him

no i dont ship bkdk (yes im a tddk & krbk truther) but im an adult and can be chill abt it, i expect u to be the same

been around the fandom since 2018 and back at it again to celebrate the end !

art tag- ollyart

comic tag- the version of bnha that lives in my head

[almostempty]

it’s not that deep but it is that serious!

(editing and reblogging to clarify a couple things at the end of the post - edited once more to combine the second reblog into one)

I just want to come to this app to talk about deep throating mean!Joel and to make friends with other hot freaks. But I need my fellow heathens to hear me out for a moment.

I’ve tried to keep this space a little escape from reality, but that’s not a realistic privilege because life and art are inherently political.

I've seen friends and mutuals receiving hateful, racist, and cruel anons recently. I know these issues aren’t new for our Black and brown peers.

I see a lot of folks jumping to offer support and to express their disgust at the racist remarks.

I also see a lot of shock and disbelief and I want to talk about that.

Racism, bigotry, and prejudice are not new issues for Black and brown folks. If you find yourself shocked, surprised, and outraged when folks share the hate they receive I ask that you reflect on this. It’s a privilege to be surprised, to not be used to navigating and experiencing that vitriol.

I know it’s well intended when folks say things like, ‘if you’re a racist piece of shit get off my blog’ or similar messages, and i understand the anger and frustration. (*i appreciate seeing solidarity and i also do not want to police (acab) how people respond to the hate they receive)

I also don’t think anyone who is aware and actively spreading hate will be deterred. I imagine there are 4chan incel type trolls that just thrive on the attention and reaction of using the most inflammatory language they can, and trolls will troll. They inevitably will pop up.

What I want to address is the levels below the overt and active hate. The accidental or inadvertent covert racism. The micro aggressions. The passive silence or enabling of rhetoric that lets folks perpetuate harm without even thinking.

Black and brown creators in our community have been disregarded or overshadowed when they speak up about diversity or inclusion in this fandom or feeling unwelcomed.

They wade through oceans of moodboards with faceless, thin, white women paired with our favorite characters. They power through reader inserts with freckles, red marks, and pink pussies that say and do things they might never feel safe saying or doing in those universes. They scroll through bad Spanish or fetishized latino caricatures and romanticized colonial values. And they still show love and support by commenting and reblogging and uplifting other writers.

Maybe there are footnotes about the moodboards only being for inspiration, but that doesn’t erase the constant messaging that it was easier to find those pictures and add a note than to search harder or leave the pictures out.

When I saw a fic with a detail about the pedro character having a confederate flag in his trailer I had to pause. This is a perfect example. I don’t read this as malicious or intentionally harmful. I understand the stereotype it’s rooted in and the general humor of the story as a whole. I get that it’s a small detail and that racism wasn’t a core part of the character or the story.

But if we sit with this longer.. what does this tell our Black and brown peers? When the reader notices it and it’s just as notable as a calendar on the wall? And she fucks him willingly anyway?

Hate symbols aren’t unserious. Background or not. Imagine writing a Joel fic and giving him a swastika tattoo just as a background detail. Sounds extreme right? Maybe you’re writing an AU felon Joel and just trying to show how hardened and dark he is. Maybe in your headcanon he only got it in prison to protect himself and he isn’t a racist.

But to nazis it says this is a safe place to be. To the general audience it says you don’t care if this makes them feel unsafe or invisible.

To folks reading that a confederate flag isn’t a big deal, it signals that it’s an acceptable symbol. It shows that people are reading and commenting and sharing this story and are unbothered. That maybe people don’t even notice.

I’m not asking anyone to send hate and I’m not writing this as an attack on the author or anyone who shared the fic. We don’t know what we don’t know, but we have the opportunity to learn!

I am asking my peers to step in and step up, because I think y’all are smart and capable of more.

I am not an expert on anything. But as someone who went to grad school for social work — a field that only exists to combat the societal harm of power, privilege, and oppression — I don’t take it lightly. I work in advocacy fighting discrimination and prejudice from institutions built on systemic racism daily. I’m aware that I have the privilege of training, language, and awareness around diversity and inclusion, and that not everyone has the same knowledge or experience.

I also know this fandom is full of incredibly smart and well spoken folks who craft moving stories and analyze characters with nuance and passion.

I’m not interested in censoring what anyone writes and I happily abide by don’t like; don’t read.

If I only wanted to read I would stick to ao3. But I’m here and I stay here because of the community. The friendships and the extra tag games and challenges and support and camaraderie.

I know I make mistakes myself. And I know it can be uncomfortable to be called out for something you never intended to hurt anyone with. I know it can feel like your voice won’t be heard or your experience won’t be validated in such a big space.

I shared a post a while ago by a creator that doesn’t write for this fandom. It was an ode to Black fanfic writers in general, and in the comments Black writers were tagging each other to show love. And I knew there was something wrong when I wanted to share it but felt deeply hesitant about tagging anyone because I didn’t want Black writers to receive hate.

One of my favorite things about this fandom is how global it is. Getting to make friends with folks around the world is such a treat. I also know racism and fascism are not unique to one region.

It’s Black history month in the states and in Canada. I know other countries observe Black history month in other months. It’s an intentional observation for a reason.

For us, this is a hobby. We’re here voluntarily, and mostly anonymously, but we’re all people. Community is so vital to thwarting the dangers of fascism and hateful rhetoric.

This IS a post about racism.

But racism is absolutely entangled with sexism, classism, ableism, ethnocentrism, capitalism, colonialism, imperialism, patriarchal hegemony, etc.

This isn’t just a rant. It’s an ask. I’m asking my peers—writers, readers, gif makers, lurkers, etc.— to help.

Reflect on what you share and post. Think about how others perceive you.

I’m asking my peers to be curious and open to discussions. To ask questions if you see covert racism. To be willing to accept feedback.

We can be gentle with one another.

Like, ‘hey, I saw this and am wondering if you’re aware of the origin or the impact it might have?’ or ‘can I share how this may be misinterpreted or harmful?’

Be kind sure, but be an advocate!

If you see someone posting about a character being their ‘spirit animal’ — send them a DM! If you read something that stereotypes a race, let the author know! There’s plenty of online resources for writing characters from other races without falling back on harmful tropes.

And even better… support your Black and brown peers. Share their work. Show them you value their presence in the fandom.

I encourage folks to read fics with original characters or reader characters with explicitly diverse ethnicities and tell the author you appreciate that character! Recommend the work to friends.

I never shut up about how much I love Heat and the story is incredibly compelling *because* the reader is a Latina written by a Latina.

Anyway, I come to this hellsite to laugh and be horny—but at my core I am an ethical hater and I only wrote all of this because I care and I want this space to be inclusive.

I’m not speaking on behalf of anyone else and I don’t want to speak over anyone. I’m open to feedback or ideas.

I’m tagging some mutuals I interact with and some that I don’t know very well, not to curse y’all with reading my long winded post but to ask: when you have the capacity will you help take action to make this community stronger? Will you commit to being open to feedback and growth?

Bottom line I just wanna read about getting railed by that fictional guy and I want my Black and brown peers to have the opportunity to enjoy the same escape from reality.

I feel like this is worth posting because I think y’all can make a difference. So many of y’all write and analyze stories and characters with such nuance and passion and detail—and that’s why i believe you can help spot subtle and insidious forms of racism and make real changes.

TL;DR: I’m asking everyone to be proactive when you see microaggressions or covert racism in the fandom, and to be willing to accept feedback and learn from each other. Being passive is a luxury and a privilege our marginalized peers do not have. Let’s be more than performative or not racist. Be active. Be anti-racist.

some tags for folks (no pressure to share, I don’t want attention I just want to encourage folks to take time to reflect or let me know what you think idk): *not calling anyone out as having committed any offenses just feeling compelled to share the message i guess

@auteurdelabre @joelmillerisapunk @lotusbxtch @probablyreadinsmut @ace-turned-confused @baronessvonglitter @yxtkiwiyxt @slimybeth69 @bitchesuntitled @thundermartini @sin-djarin @strang3lov3 @mermaidgirl30 @for-a-longlongtime @mrs-hardy-hunnam-butler-pascal @evolnoomym @wannab-urs @sanarsi @yopossum @almostfoxglove @itwasntimethatdidit40 @syd-djarin @miss-oranje-disco-dancer

to anyone: please start conversations or reach out to me or send me an anon ask if you want to discuss something or share, idc but i’m begging y’all to listen to each other and advocate for one another and be open to self-reflection 💗 editing to add: if i tagged you it was not a callout that i think you've done something specific to reflect on-- just a general invite to join me in being intentional and to invite feedback if you have any! if i made anyone anxious i apologize! - to clarify when i said 'it's not that deep' i mean that maybe fanfic is easily brushed off as not that deep, but every blog is a real person (minus the army of porn bots) and we form real connections in this community <3

edit:

one more thing, 

first and foremost! a reminder that i am speaking about the inclusivity in this fandom as a whole. i don't want to lose the plot over one specific example that blew up. my point is the bulk of the racism in this fandom is perpetrated through micro aggressions and covert racism EVERY DAY. we can make sweeping statements and tell racists to fuck off, but next week we will be back to the status quo (aka where many non-white folks feel unwelcomed, aren't represented, and are disregarded when they raise concerns, etc.) unless we commit to examining ourselves first and looking for the more subtle things that perpetuate the current culture (e.g. harmful stereotypes and racial tropes, fetishizing latinx characters, bad Spanish, writing reader insert fics with specifically white features and characteristics without tagging, using slurs or coded language, etc.)

(i am behind on everything today and haven’t gotten back to everyone who added insightful thoughts and considerations to my original post yet) 

i did see some folks share examples of positive experiences calling-in peers or learning something new themselves and wanted to say thanks and highlight those positives. 

maybe other folks have already brought up the rest of my points and if so i do not mean to speak over anyone, but i wanted to add on to my first post: 

i originally asked everyone to step up and commit to advocating for each other— but i’d like to explicitly ask white folks to step up and look out for our Black and brown friends (who are tired and don’t get to check out irl or online). i am asking white folks to be open to learning and growing with compassion. i am asking white folks to be persistent, proactive, and brave enough to be uncomfortable or wrong. 

when i say we can be gentle with each other i do not mean to minimize pain or anger. i gladly and willingly validate that everyone has a right to be upset and outraged by hatred and racism. i am not asking my Black and brown peers to soften their reactions or dismiss their experiences.

i am (again) asking my white peers to be mindful, to take a breath and listen to what BIPOC folks have to say. to sit with the discomfort and know that seeing hate or racism might be shocking but it is not surprising if you’ve been listening. 

i am asking my white peers to be kind and also strategic. if you have the patience and capacity then do what you can to increase the odds that your peers will be willing to listen and learn. it’s free to try at least. 

most of us that commit micro aggressions or covert racism don't consider ourselves to be racists. we see posts that say 'racists and bigots aren't welcome on this blog' and we agree! we reblog those posts! we pat ourselves on the back for being an ally and continue on without making any other changes-- not because we are bad people, but because we have the privilege of feeling welcomed, represented, and valued as a baseline.

this is also my call-in to myself because i’ve allowed myself to stay quiet. i’ve relied on the comfort that my close friends know who i am and what my values are, but i have been passive. i have seen comments or posts that i recognized were ignorant or offensive and continued scrolling. i felt like it wasn't worth the drama to speak up.

i’m fallible and open to feedback ! i am also comfortable being an example, being vulnerable and sharing my mistakes or opportunities for growth. i've gotten more comfortable because i have hours of training and practice but i don't expect others to feel good being called-in or to anticipate what might make them act defensively.

i know the core principle of cultural humility is that nobody is an expert on culture, that the best practice is to remain open and curious, to identify your own values and beliefs, and to confront stereotypes. it is an ongoing process of self-reflection and commitment to growth 

and so i volunteer to be here for any of my white friends that want to make this fandom a more inclusive space, but are feeling uncertain or uncomfortable. (i am not offering to defend racism or excuse hate)

there is extreme cognitive dissonance in believing you are a good person, a not-racist person, and a friend and ally— and being confronted with the idea you are perpetuating stereotypes, inadvertently causing harm, or alienating folks you care about. 

I know it seems like a safe option to stay quiet if you think you might say the wrong thing or make a situation worse. 

I know it’s hard enough to send someone a friendly message or to know what to comment on a fic you loved, let alone to feel empowered to point out something that might make someone else react defensively. I’m not volunteering to be the morality police (acab) but i’m here for all of my friends, mutuals, and peers in the fandom who want support with calling-in others or learning. i encourage and welcome discussion and curiosity. 

i ask white folks to make conscious changes so that when these conversations die down we don’t fall back into enabling white ignorance to infect the fandom and harm our friends.

bonus thoughts

i see and am grateful for the folks that called my first post eloquent and at the same time i am deeply aware of the ‘angry Black woman’ trope that undermines and minimizes Black women’s voices (especially when they are rightfully angry). i guess i’m just repeating that i don’t want to speak over anyone but i am committing to speaking up. 

i don’t want to harp on the confederate flag example anymore, but i would like to be clear that this isn’t about censorship. Consider the context and don’t turn this into a straw man argument or dilute the message with whataboutery. It speaks volumes if you’d rather argue semantics than listen to your peers about the reality of impact vs intent with that example or others. 

thank you for reading and being here <3

[menlove]

queer paul tome pt 1: everything not related to john

okay i've been saying i'd make this post forever and it's uh. long. so i decided to split it up into four parts so i can get this first bit out and let it stop haunting me and so it's not 50 miles long.

feel free to add your own if it's not here or shoot me an ask and i'll add it :)

disclaimer: i'm not definitively saying sir paul mccartney is queer. i mean i really firmly think he is but it's all just speculation. also, if he is, there's obviously a reason he's not out about it & he deserves to have his privacy respected. i just personally find the dominant narrative in the fandom & even in larger spaces that poor pining queer john was in love with tragically heterosexual paul completely unconvincing and neeeeeed to be insane for a minute here

if this pisses u off u can simply scroll on by i do not need an essay in my notes. make your own post if you disagree.

(paul doing this for whatever reason in beverly hills, 1974- also the same trip he saw john on bc sure i guess)

this doesn't include lyrics as the main argument bc i saw a post ages ago basically saying there's nothing outside of them and lowkey i took that as a challenge because there's SO much outside of his lyrics that point to him being queer.

that being SAID, this is going to be split into four posts: not john related (most important and thus first bc there's so much documented about mclennon & john being queer, but not paul by himself), john related, paul's relationships w other men (these ones aren't all like... concrete and that's why they aren't included here but w all the context that'll come before it his relationships to certain men are..... interesting), and finally lyrics last bc some of them you genuinely can't just ignore

part 2- john related part 3- other men part 4- lyrics (those will have links once i actually make them)

also, i'm sure people have made similar posts before- i haven't seen them (other than this one an anon sent while i was writing this up which is sooo interesting but does have a lot of dead links) but if you have one you want to share feel free!

time to get into it. i'm avoiding homework by doing this.

(sidenote: not including instances of him just flirting w men bc body language can be read a lot of different ways- but if y'all wanna add any i know they're a dime a dozen like w george m., mal, random reporters, robert fraser, etc)

1- "Just kidding, Linda..."

REPORTER: You're a very, very good looking man. PAUL: [sits up straighter, making a sort of campy gesture towards the crowd, turning into a point] Get that boy's name. [Drops his hand, smiling and leaning his cheek on his hand.] Just kidding, Linda. REPORTER: [unintelligible] PAUL: What? REPORTER: I said- do you have a secret, looking so nice for fifty years? PAUL: [grins, resting his chin on his hand again and batting his eyelashes] Yes, it's the drugs, you know.

(originally posted on here by @northernsongspeels who hasn't been active in a while) this one is so crazy to me. he's so obviously flirting with that man and he's apologizing to linda for flirting with that man. like it's a conversation they've had before.

2- "Yes, boys."

this video (originally posted by @ilovedig here)

PAUL: Yes, I think the main difference is that when you are that age- which I'm sure you remember, Tom- TOM: It's back there in the dim distant past, yes. PAUL: When you're that age, that's the kind of thing to do. I mean, what you're doing is you're going 'round and you're basically looking for girls or whatever turns you on and stuff. So, uh, yeah, I- TOM: Well- well could you give me the alternatives to girls? Are there others? LINDA: [scoffs] PAUL: Yes, boys. TOM: Oh! No.

3- "He's so good looking."

Paul McCartney first read the name and saw the photo (for weeks there was just one crazy photo of Elvis available in Britain) during a free period at Liverpool Institute. Again, it was a friend with the NME, and there was an advert for Heartbreak Hotel. "I thought, 'He's so good looking,'" Paul says, "he just looked perfect." Mark Lewisohn, All These Years Vol. 1 Tune In, sourced from the Anthology TV series by Lewisohn.

4- "A Nice Person Girl"

this fun little interview... (originally posted by @amoralto idk why the archive.org capture of it looks funky but the audio is still there) take it w a grain of salt bc it can also just read as a homophobic joke but like.

August 22nd, 1966 (Warwick Hotel, New York): As DJ “Cousin Brucie” Morrow conducts brief interviews with each of the Beatles, one by one, he asks Paul to settle the rumours that have been circulating in the press about the status of his relationship with Jane Asher. MORROW: Moving over here to Paul – someone just handed me a card. I guess this is… [focusing] Last year, when you were on my microphone here— PAUL: Ask me something about Rick Sklar. MORROW: Rick Sklar? That’s my boss. JOHN: Ask Paul about Rick Sklar. MORROW: Uh, Paul, last year when you were on my microphone, I think somebody – one of your staff – announced an engagement of you and Jane. PAUL: Uh… MORROW: Do you remember that? It was announced on the air. And then I remember we said something on the air and then thousands of people from the street went, “Oh.” What is it with you and Jane now? How – what is your relationship? Are you planning a marriage, planning an engagement, are you just boyfriend and girlfriend, what is it? Tell us the whole thing. JOHN: [mutters; inaudible] PAUL: Uh. We’re just queer, that’s the scene. [uproarious laughter in background] That’s the scene. Well I mean, I couldn’t say that on the air live, you know. JOHN: No, you’ll get into trouble for it. PAUL: No, the thing is, Cousin Bruce – um, we haven’t got plans to marry yet, you know. That’s the point. And that business about somebody saying we were engaged, nobody actually said it. It was just another one of those things where someone says, “Are they engaged?” and they said, “Well, whatever it is… [muttering]” “Yes, folks, they’re engaged!” And it wasn’t true. MORROW: Well, I’m sure there are a lot of girls who are very happy with this. What would you look for, in a girl? Say you did eventually want to settle down, what would you want to – what kind of girl would you like? What would you – what would you like in a gal you wanted to marry eventually, bring home to Mommy? PAUL: Uh… Female hormones. MORROW: Female. What’ll you go for, any – what, blonde, brunette, what? PAUL: Uh, you know, anything. Anything. Girls. It doesn’t matter if they’re blonde, brunette, or anything, as long as they’ve got it. MORROW: Would you want a nice person – what? A beautiful nice person girl. PAUL: Yeah, you know. A nice person girl. (transcription directly from @amoralto, bold mine)

and again this one COULD just be a lil homophobic joke but idk man his tone here is very different and the fact that he says he couldn't say that on air & john says he'll get in trouble is just. interesting. it's Interesting.

5- "A 26 year old queer never to get married."

Half an hour later it was very quiet, except for a few sobs, and then we decided that we had to see him just once more. We opened the gates and walked slowly in. Someone rang the doorbell. Waited, no one came, rang again. Rang again. Paul answered. We just stood there. God what do we say? "Yes, what do you want?" he said, as if we'd just come to borrow sugar. C. ran out. Someone asked if it was tomorrow, and he said, "Tomorrow." It went quiet again. "What's this - Heartbreak Hotel? What do you think I am a 26 year old queer never to get married? Oh, stick around kids!" We just looked at each other. Oh God, Paul, what have we done now. All we wanted to do was stand there and talk awhile. What was the point in shouting at us like that? We stood there, tears falling but there was no sound. "Apple Scruffs Come to Dinner" by Andrew Bailey, 1970 (x), bold mine

again, like the last one, this one is very... i think he was absolutely being homophobic here, but it's a very telling outburst. like he's yelling this harsh enough to make these girls cry.

6- Harry Harrison's "gorgeous tan"

moving onto this wild quote from many years from now by barry miles about george's older brother (bold mine):

"George Harrison’s elder brother Harry had been to Christmas Island and arrived back with a gorgeous tan in his army uniform and we thought, My God, he’s been made a man of. You used to see this quite regularly, people would be made a man of."

7- gender neutral language

let's get into some interesting gender neutral language he uses. now, would this be Particularly compelling with a modern celebrity? not really. but most people his age really don't talk gender neutrally unless it's to be vague On Purpose. like this bit from many years from now, where before this he'd been using exclusively "girl" and "she/her" pronouns talking about hookups, it suddenly shifts to very purposefully vague (bold mine):

With a lot of those people I met and related to, albeit for a short time, I've mercifully forgotten them and I don't really remember what went on, thank goodness. There may have been a few drinks involved and I was a little merry and, you know, you slip back to someone's flat... My main feeling really is one of relief. You do feel like some of it was outrageous. But I'm glad to have had a slightly outrageous period in my life, as long as it didn't hurt anybody, because I'd always felt maybe my character was too careful. I think the great thing was I never had any deep, dark secrets. That's what the papers wanted. They wanted me to be hiding a little Miss Whiplash somewhere, and for the flat to be in my name. But it was never that. It was always a one-night stand with whoever was around and wanted to party.

8/9/10- the "binary" (ft. a bit of john)

this infamous quote from the lyrics in his section on "hello goodbye" (bold mine) (x):

I'm attracted to the binary. I state that quite casually, but I think there’s actually a lot more to it than my just saying, ‘I’m attracted to the binary.’ Once you get down to the scientific biological level, in my core, I probably am the binary. All of us are probably more binary than we might realise.

context being that when he says "the binary" he means duality. there's a lot of interesting stuff going on in this article, though there's some more john related stuff i'll add here too bc it's super fascinating (sorry, easier to go here than the john section!):

‘Hello, Goodbye’ shows off a binary that we took great advantage of in The Beatles. With regard to John Lennon and myself, the great attraction we had for each other was that we each had a bit the other didn’t have. John could be quite cynical. I was his opposite, in that respect. [...] I think there definitely was a sort of ‘hello, goodbye’ about John and myself. But we loved it. We loved it because John could contribute his caustic wit and I could contribute something more upbeat. Not always, we each did what the other one did from time to time. But if you had to break it down – and though it is a bit crude to say so – there was a binary tension at the heart of our songwriting together.

11- big guys at the gym

onto something more lighthearted and also just ridiculous (x):

"If I'm in a gym and all the big guys have got big weights and they're doing all the big stuff, at the end I do a headstand," he said. "And they come over to me [and say], 'That's pretty impressive man.'" ["78-year-old Paul McCartney’s fitness routine includes headstands and yoga with Alec Baldwin" by Cory Stieg]

12- gay dreams

this infamous quote which i have a bit of a different take on that i'll expand on in a sec (bold mine)

My view is that these things are there whether you want them or not, in your interior. You don’t call up dreams, they happen, often the exact opposite of what you want. You can be heterosexual and be having a homosexual dream and wake up, and think, “Shit, am I gay?” I like that you don’t have control over it. But there is some control – it is you dreaming, it is your mind it’s all happening in. In a way my equation would be that my computer is fully loaded by now. Maybe in younger people there’s a little bit of loading to go, but mine’s loaded pretty much, so what I try and do is allow it to print out unbeknown to me. And I’m interested to hear what it’s got in there. (interview by Karen Wright for Luigi's Alcove, 2000) (x)

a lot of people use this to point to him being oblivious, which i do get, but i want to focus more on the line "it is you dreaming, it is your mind it's all happening in". like he seems interested and fascinated by the revelations we have in our dreams- hardly repressed or scared.

13- royston ellis' "break me in easy"

we've all been over the royston ellis poem and i don't want to just retype out everything that's already on this post so go check out @eppysboys' post on the royston ellis poem!

but tl;dr a bisexual friend of theirs in liverpool, royston ellis, wrote this poem called "Break Me In Easy":

Easy, easy, break me in easy. Sure I’m big time, cock-sure and brash, but easy, easy, break me in easy. Sure they’ve been others, I know the way…

which is about gay sex. he also told the boys that 1 in every 5 men was gay and paul worried that it might be him (this was back in 1960). he still remembered it line for line by 2006 which is just insane. all the sources for those are over on the linked post.

14- woody pecker

originally posted by @didwemeetsomewherebefore here (links to my blog bc the wayback machine was not cooperating right but as long as it stays up you can find the original here!)

PAUL & DONOVAN: How to suck a lollypopper, Sitting on a woodypecker, Dancing in the double-decker shoe, I don’t know, So, how do you do? PAUL: I don't know how you do it, Lordy, knows I try But every time I try to do it, My whole darn tongue gets ti(r)ed

this one is just so sillyyyyy and cute but it's just so full of innuendo like sucking on a lollypop and sitting on a woody pecker and your tongue getting tied (tired?) when you try to suck the uh lollypop. giggling his way through it with one of his boy best friends donovan too.

15- "i heard he was gay"

this fun little quote from body count by francie schwartz:

When the rotation of bike, gun, and other diversions left me alone with Billy, his first words were, "You went with Paul McCartney, didn’t you?" "I bet you just love it when people ask you about your father, don't you?" He was surprised, he half-frowned. "No, really, what's Paul like? I heard he was gay." "He might have gone that way, but he didn't. He really didn't dig fucking all that much, if that's any kind of an answer."

note here though that francie is a notoriously unreliable source on paul. she hates him and honestly makes some pretty homophobic digs at him & others pretty frequently. so it is interesting that she denies he's gay, but says he might have gone that way. given how short of a time they were together and how weird their relationship was, i wouldn't really expect him to be open about that with her- still, she noticed something there too.

16- homosexual handbook

paul was mentioned in the homosexual handbook by angelo d'arcangelo in 1968 under a list of famous homosexuals. it's very tongue in cheek and says this "may just be wishful thinking on (my) part"

and obviously not proof as the book takes a very playful and unserious tone. he does provide this little disclaimer though, which i think is interesting:

Some of the men on this list are self-acknowledged homosexuals. Some are not. All of them are generally thought to be gay. However, as many family men and notorious womanizers appear on these pages, we must—rather than question their forays into either or both sexes—congratulate them on their obvious virility.

because once again like... WHERE are these rumors about paul being gay? because the rest of this list, as far as i can tell (ngl i did not do a deep read there) are men who have/had gay rumors about them or were gay. this comes up more in the john post as well, but i seriously need to know just how many rumors there were about him being gay.

17- "the female hordes"

It was always obvious Brian was gay and we could talk to him about gay things, but he would never come out with, 'Hello, Paul, you’re looking nice today.' I was quite obviously un-gay, due to my hunting of the female hordes, and I think we all must have given the same impression. There had been a suggestion since that John had some homosexual thing with Brian, but I personally doubt it. All the intimate moments we shared were always about girls. (from Anthology)

i know putting one of his "un-gay" quotes here is counter intuitive but listen i have genuinely never heard a gayer thing come out of a man's mouth than "hunting of the female hordes" it sends me to fucking mars every time i read it. that's the most closeted shit i've ever read in my entire life. it sounds like what a gay man would say trying to come up with something a straight man would say. and i think paul's bi, he just desperately wants me to think he's never gotten pussy a day in his damn life with this quote.

as a side-note, "all the intimate moments we shared were always about girls". now what do you mean by that man..... like shared as in verbally told stories? or do you mean it was always about the girls when you guys were...... intimate? because those are two really different things and i need to know what the hell that's supposed to mean

18/19- this poor man just wants to flirt with and kiss men can we let him

okay tumblr has nerfed me and won't let me add any more videos from tumblr but there's a video of drunk paul almost kissing ringo jokingly. posted by @stewy here and as long as it's up you can reblog it here- thank u for the contribution to my red stringing lmfao

pringo for once thank god but. i don't even have anything to say except to point and think of a slur. drunk as hell flirting with your best friend what's better than that.

and then this whole interaction between paul & elton john where they kiss on the mouth

and i could so buy that this is a straight man and gay man just being comfortable together except well see above and see the other posts but also paul's very much adapting a softer, "campier" tone around him and calling him babe/darling in a very, again, gay way. not as in he's gay For elton john lmfao but this is how to old gay friends would greet each other do you see what i mean do you understand me......

anyway that's the end of part 1 join me next time (whenever the fuck i decide to avoid doing homework again um) this man has sucked a dick i'm so sure of this. (not really don't sue me for libel paul love ya)

[cairoblair]

Hello there! I’m relatively new to the fandom of LADS and really enjoy how you write for them! It’s all very accurate and spot on for every one of them and I love it! I was wondering if you could do headcanons for the LADS men with a s/o who has ADHD? (This may or may not be more self indulgent on my part lol).

Like they are talkative and loudish, energetic/hyperactive, and like to have a lot of fun or relax at home, and like to spend time with their friends, or spend time alone by themselves.

But they also have trouble starting tasks (cleaning their room or putting laundry away), they forget to eat or care for themselves, they get distracted or fail to do a task and feel like a failure, overthink constantly, or have obsessive thoughts about certain things, and sometimes have difficulty regulating their emotions.

If you don’t feel comfortable writing something like that, that is totally fine! I just wanna see how each guy would handle the ups and down of a s/o that struggles with adhd, since it’s not just the happy talkative side, it’s also the “has a todo list and does nothing and feels terrible” side as well.

Thank you so much!!!! 💜💜

hi anon! thank you for requesting! i’m pretty familiar with ADHD thanks to my friends, so i hope you enjoy these! if you’d like me to write something longer for each or one of the LIs, i’m happy to do so!

Rafayel

• definitely indulges in your hyperfixations with you, he wants to hear all about it

• loves when you get a spurt of energy - he’ll suggest going down to the beach or channeling that energy into art

• when you get overstimulated, he’s quick to offer you a quiet space to recharge. he’ll let you sit and watch him paint, and he’s perfectly fine with silence

• if you’re having trouble tackling your to-do list, he’ll offer to do everything with you. he knows it can be difficult to stay motivated, so he’ll try to make it fun

• he’s great with reassurance, always telling you that he’s proud of you and that you’re more than capable. he never wants you to feel less than

Xavier

• he’s great at keeping up with fluctuations in your energy. feeling hyped? nothing a trip to the arcade can’t satisfy. exhausted? nap time!

• if you’re having trouble staying focused on a task, he’ll set up a system: work for 20 minutes, then take a 10 minute break with him to relax. it may take longer, but he wants to keep you happy

• i think he’s great with emotional regulation. he has a very calming presence, and he’ll gladly sit with you as long as you need him to. he’ll hold your hands and encourage you to breathe with him until you can relax

• if you failed a task you worked hard on, he’ll be there for the aftermath. he’ll reassure you that you did your best, and that’s all you could ask for. next time, he’ll help you tackle it in any way he can

• he just wants you to feel at ease, and he’ll do whatever he can to make that happen. talking, listening, going out, staying in, together, alone - doesn’t matter, he’s there for it

Zayne

• he’s rather clinical in his approach, offering research-based solutions for any problems you might deal with

• however, he’s not careless. anything you need, he’s ready to supply. whether it be a day out or a day spent at home, he’s just happy to be there

• if you’re feeling restless, he’ll suggest baking or doing something that requires focus. if you’re unmotivated, he’ll create a space that you want to work in

• suggests that you meditate when you feel out of control. he’ll make sure you have essential oils, pleasant music, and a comfortable space to do so

• assures you that one failure, one bad thought doesn’t define you. you are more than your mind, and more than your shortcomings

Sylus

• finds your spikes in energy endearing. he’s quick to offer a ride on his motorcycle when you need to get out of the house

• when you need a lazy day, he’ll happily oblige. he’ll put on one of his records and lay around with you all day

• he’ll listen to you ramble about your interests, asking you specific questions about them just to hear you get more excited

• when you’re feeling scattered, he’ll help you slow down. he’ll encourage you to voice everything going on in your head, then help you organize them in a way that makes them less daunting

• he’s perfectly content being in the same room but doing different things. he’ll do some work or clean one of his guns as you’re doing something else. as long as he’s near you, he’s happy

Caleb

• in my personal opinion, he’s the best match for someone with ADHD. high energy? he’s all over it. feeling tired? no problem, pillow fort incoming. special interests? he’s just as into it as you are. feeling down? not on his watch

• if you have a long to-do list and can’t seem to get started, he’ll handle as many things as he can. laundry? done. cleaning? done. cooking? done. you just worry about your top priorities.

• if you’re overthinking, he’s quick to offer any reassurance he can. you’re everything to him, he can’t imagine you thinking any less of yourself

• he’ll offer to help you do your work, whatever it may be. he may not know the ins and outs of it, but he’s sure he can figure it out if it means helping you finish it

• if you need some time to yourself, he may pout, but he’ll make sure you have everything you need. snacks, a full water bottle, a game, a book, whatever it is. he’s over the moon when you finally seek him out again, though

[chaoticquill]

An Open Letter to the BSD Fandom

Long post incoming. TL;DR: fuck fandom bullying. Full stop.

Fellow BSDers,

I have been writing for the BSD fandom since August 2021, where I started to write my way out of my big traumas. Somehow, with one image in my head, I started the CAU with A Drop of Black Coffee in the Pot. I'm not entirely sure if that makes me a "big name" in the fandom or whether that gives what I'm about to say more "clout," but hey... it's worth a shot, yeah? Because maybe people will listen.

Maybe.

Since coming into this fandom, I've made a lot of friends through Discord, and I have had a blast creating for, with, and among them. Through Discord, I became a rare pair aficionado and gained a soft spot for Chuuatsu, ChuuRan, and others. The conversations I had with fans, in short, brought me more than peace from my traumas. I found myself among a community who, through shared interests in pretty anime characters based on historical authors, held me up as I faced more traumas, enjoyed more successes, and just... lived.

HOWEVER (emphasis), in the last year or so, three of who I would consider my closest Discord friends--three people I care deeply about--have been bullied out of the fandom for their unconventional ships or portrayal of characters or preference for dead dove content, and two more have been targets of cyberbullying.

In one case, I was also targeted by Dazai Anon (one of the cyberbullies mentioned above). My response to this is always simple: I laugh at the death threats because I'm already dead inside, I delete the comments, I block the posts, and I keep writing what brings me joy. Sometimes, that's ChuuAtsu. Sometimes, that's a more popular ship. And in all cases, that's totally fine.

But that's me. And not everyone is like me.

I've written this post a dozen times in my head. I contemplated, as the "adult" in the room, putting everyone in timeout or putting on my disappointed parent face. But instead, I settled on this.

BSD fandom, respectfully, what the actual fuck?

Let me be perfectly clear: there is no good reason to ever bully anyone, but ships, tropes, character preferences and readings? These are among the worst. And don't even get me started on what's "canon."

What I guess I'm really trying to say is this: the three people I know who stopped making BSD content did because certain members of the community took their fun away. And that's never okay. There is room in the fandom for the main ships and the rarepairs. There's room for the fluffmongers, angst fiends, and dead dove aficionados. In fact, many of the friends I mention write content I personally don't, nor do they tend to write fluff and explicit consent the way I tend to, but guess what? We appreciate each other's art. We share ideas. We hold each other up. And, most of all, we're friends, anyway.

So if I'm in any place to ask this fandom for anything, it's to keep your own space as a writer/creator without taking someone else's space away. It's to have fun creating content SKK, but stop taking fun away from the people who create DaRan or DazAtsu or KuniDazai or Kouyou x Dazai or whatever ship. Most important, be kind to one another, regardless of what characters, tropes, or ships we love because at the end of the day, we're not just pseuds or creators; behind the screen, we're human.

As people, I don't think we have anything to lose in this. We can still work around tags and tropes and ships and characters we don't enjoy. Plus, who knows? You might make a new friend, gain new perspective on a character dynamic you never thought about, exchange ideas and share excitement about the newest manga chapter... and that might bring joy to both of you.

I really hope this letter to be the start of something bigger, maybe something that will move through boundaries between fan communities. I've thought about events, challenges, movements... but my limited resources as a creator with 99 mental health issues mean that for now, those ideas will have to wait. This letter, inadequate as it feels, still says most of what I want it to say.

I often say I appreciate people taking the time to read my fics. I mean that for this letter, too. So thank you, truly.

And as always, don't forget to drink water.

Until my next update,

ChaoticQuill

[rmd-writes]

raebelline, can i ask you (and your friends) for a rec of angsty tk/carlos fics? with a happy ending ofc!!! let me slowly dip my toes into this fandom :')

Hi nonnie (assuming this is the same new to tarlos anon??)!

Angst isn't my most read category of fic, but here is a list of some of the angst to happy ending Tarlos fics that I love:

Canon-ish (compliant, divergent, adjacent)

to build a home by @freneticfloetry

lost in the labyrinth by @strandnreyes

What is Sown, What is Grown by @never-blooms

balancing act by @reyesstrand

There's Always Tomorrow by @three-drink-amy

and a cheeky self-rec, Precious Love

AUs

a long time ago (we used to be friends) by @welcometololaland

time, curious time by @strandnreyes (make sure you read the entire series)

First Aid by @heartstringsduet

Because you asked for recs from my friends, I also asked @strandnreyes @reyesstrand and @heartstringsduet who all read (and write) more angst than I do for some recs and they have suggested these fics as well. There was a lot of overlap in their lists, so I'm just doing one combined list of their suggestions (PS. I think it's so cute that they all rec'd each other when I asked them separately 🥰):

Canon-ish (compliant, divergent, adjacent)

Where all This Love Comes From by @carlos-in-glasses

monday by @butchreyes

Ashes, Ashes by vaguenotion

come what may, I'll still stay by @strandnreyes

call my bluff, call you babe by @strandnreyes

Blood on the tracks, fire in the hills by thenorthface

What we leave behind by @goodways

When I'm Like This by @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut

The Space In Between by @decafdino

AUs

The Weight of Your Name by @heartstringsduet

Cause It's Your Life by GoOffCredits

my beatin' heart belongs to you by bartsy

3 Rules by colonoscopys

I've done my best to tag the authors where I know their tumblr usernames, but if I've missed anyone, please lmk and I'm happy to edit to include their tags!!

Happy reading nonnie! 💖

PS. mind the tags and ratings on each of these fics. Take care of yourself while reading xo

[will-o-wen]

what songs did these two write about each other? I saw you mention Mark (the short one?) wrote some songs about Robbie (monkey?) but I. NEED. NAMES. for science ofc. songs in the band, solo, whatever, all songs, any songs.

signed, these bitches gay anon.

Welcome back, these bitches gay anon.

Mark, the short one, yes, wrote some songs about Robbie the monkey. Let me give you a list. I'll categorise it into three groups: canon, most likely canon and most likely canon (to me). The third one means the same to me as the second and they both mean the same to me as the first because I'm insane and love being right. Terrible habit but what can you do?

(but like full disclaimer, apart from the first two this is puuuure speculation specifically written for this fandom space)

Canon:

Take That - Shine, written by Mark for Robbie during a time where Robbie was dealing with agonising mental health issues. Here's a quote: "Hey, let me know you [...] let me love you, you're all that matters to me". Robbie, the monkey, confirmed that it is about him. Mark, the short one, has still not talked about it once; he's very determined that way.

Robbie Williams - No Regrets, now this one was written by the monkey. It's not exclusively about the short one, it's about the entire band they were in, but a few of the lines were sung back at Robbie by Mark for one of Mark's solo gigs in 2005, during the time they were all separated. The lines go as follows: "Sing me a love song, drop me a line, suppose it's just a point of view but they tell me I'm doing fine. Remember the photographs? Insane. The ones where we all laughed? So lame. We were having the time of our lives, well, thank you. Well, thank you." Later in 2011, when they were all reunited, they sang almost the same lines together on their joint tour.

Most likely canon:

Mark Owen - Alone Without You, is one of Mark's songs released in 2003 for his solo album, they were separated at the time and barely saw each other. It's widely understood to be about Robbie. "The truth is you're not here and I'm screwed up again and I don't know the reason why, I don't know why it is and did I ever say? That I just need your love and I want you back again, I want you back again [...] what am I to say? What am I to do? What am I alone without you?"

Take That - Into The Wild, is a Take That song supposedly written by Mark for Robbie. This came out in 2014, so this was after their big reunion in 2010 and then also after Robbie left the band once again but this time on good terms. And I love this song because it paints a rather... interesting picture of how their reunion went and what it subsequently developed into. "Tied up again, with my one and only friend. Your voice is all I can hear, it's the music to my ears. Staying out of trouble, staying in and out of touch [...] I can never get enough. [...] We go playing with fire, then we go dance with desire, then we go into the wild again.[...] Let me run with you, my friend. Let me be with you, running through the wild again" (must've been a good reunion and must be nice whenever they reunited after that:)))

Most likely canon (to me):

My overall reasoning for assuming these are about Robbie is that thanks to Shine being confirmed, it's almost like we got the key to Mark's personal Robbie monkey code. There is a certain theme that only exists in a few songs, as it does in Shine. (the theme is very specific Robbie yearning a la I miss you, love me, let me love you, why don't you love me, why won't you let me love you)

Mark Owen - Kill With Your Smile, written by the short one in 2003 for the same album that Alone Without You is on. I have no greater explanation apart from the fact that it fits the Robbie vibe and I love the song. "You start me up, anytime. I'm a dog, I'm a slag, I'm a disco queen. You're so on that you make me shine. [...] And I dig your music [...] You just fuck me up every time. [...] Stand out, you're a chemical, come on up, sweet lord you're a miracle."

Mark Owen - Wasting Away, once again written by Mark but this time for his 2005 solo album. This one has a darker tone but the theme is actually quite similar to huge chunks of Shine, but obviously not as filtered because it was not for Take That, just for Mark. (and Robbie the monkey) "Alone, we were inseperable, you lied to me, I didn't see you coming, now I'm on my own, for the words that left your mouth were terminal. Together, we're unsuitable. [...] Murder me, why don't you murder me? [...] Who's going to run for you now? [...] Care for me, care for me why don't you care for me"

Mark Owen - Come On, this one is also off the 2005 solo album. Once again, the theme screams Robbie to me "And I want you to know, that you're all over me and I don't wanna fall so I land at your feet [...] won't you step on my bones, hey, won't you let me in and I'll kiss your palm this time and hope that you will hear. Don't wait for it, don't leave." And then the final stanza, that's the most important bit to me because he uses the same phrase as he does in Into The Wild, which is 'my only friend', it only ever appears in two songs and the implication of the reunion in ITW 'tied up again with my one and only friend', very much assumes that he must've called him that before and that before exists in Come On and only in Come On. "And then, then my only friend, you give me all you can and say you'll be my love"

[lurkingshan]

Following the latest spicy happenings, I just wanted to share again my own perspective on fandom etiquette and tumblr interaction for folks who follow or engage with me on here. I've been clear about my boundaries here, and people who choose not to respect that get what they get. I tend to write with a clear perspective and let my words speak for themselves, and while I love to discuss and even have friendly disagreements, I don’t bother responding to folks who are clearly not engaging in good faith. I block when it rises to the level of blatant rudeness or when someone is developing an unhealthy fixation.

That said, there’s really no need to be dramatic about getting blocked on tumblr. Blocking doesn't mean anything except that you don't want to engage with a person or their content anymore, for any number of reasons that are all perfectly fine and valid, because this is your curated space. It doesn't make us sworn enemies. We're all just internet strangers and no one owes you their time and attention.

If you couldn't tell, I am a fandom old. I've been in and around various fandoms, on tumblr and in lots of other online spaces, for multiple decades. I used to dwell in Western fandom spaces in the era when TV and book series were much, much longer and people had flame wars and knock down, drag out fights over canon interpretations that lasted for literal years. In comparison, today's version of fandom bickering is much milder, and extreme sensitivity about even the gentlest of critical analysis is just silly to me. In terms the youths will understand: some of y’all wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.

I’m not here to be popular with everyone (that’s not possible nor a healthy goal). I’m here to write about the things I care about and connect with other folks who also enjoy discussing those things in a similar or complementary fashion. If that’s not you, and you want to unfollow or block to protect your peace, that’s completely fine and I’m not holding a grudge.

So let me be clear. Once I've blocked or been blocked by someone, I am not bothered about what they're saying or doing. I'm not squatting on their blog on the web to read their posts. I'm not asking friends to keep tabs on their commentary so I can respond to it. I'm not creating side blogs or burner accounts to slyly continue following them. I'm not going on anon to send them mean asks. All of that is weirdo behavior and deeply disrespectful of a boundary that’s been set. Once I've blocked you, or you've blocked me, I am just not thinking about you at all.

[marshmallowprotection]

Do you miss the time when the fandom was more active? Now searching for Mysme content is difficult. Being at this stage makes me sad because Mystic Messenger means a lot to me and it hurts me to see that the fandom has gone cold or rather... dead.

I really don't like it when people say a fandom is "dead" in general. It promotes the idea that content is no longer being produced by any of the fans when I can tell you that I'm friends and mutuals with plenty of fans who are still consistently posting and creating MM content! I haven't considered our fandom "dead" because I'm always chatting to other people who love MM!

I do my best to make sure I'm reblogging and engaging with others to let them know our fandom is here and it's not weird to post or make content because you will find traction for your love of the game once the active fanbase sees it since you may not be sure what places get the most engagement.

I'm disheartened by the way modern fandom is in general. A lot of modern fans, a mixture of younger people to fandom and even some older people who didn't get into fandoms until recently, get so upset when the "hype" for something dies down and presume their fandom is "dead" because content isn't going out as "fast" as it used to. It can be really sad to see when things slow down and some folks move on, but it's best not to use negative language to talk about the thing you love.

I would offer the same advice I tell folks who say, "I'm trash." Do not call yourself trash. The more you say something, the more you start to believe it. Don't tell yourself the fandom is dead. A fandom is never truly dead because there are still people out discovering content for the first time just like you did every day. Just because you're not able to see the same outpouring of love that you used to doesn't mean it's a dead space. This is a place of love, think of everything you discover on Tumblr, Instagram, Twitter, Bluesky, TikTok, etc, as the archive of a fan's love for the series.

We've been here for damn near ten years now! Do you know how much content exists?

It may not be "new", but it could be new to someone, and hey, it could be new to you if you dug through these archives and found something for the first time that you might've missed years ago. I really think you could make an artist, writer, editor, or cosplayer's damn day by pouring love into something they created years ago. That's something that gets to me. Some people are afraid to read "older" things or look at "older" art. I don't know why people get so afraid of this. I don't know when this shifted.

Modern fandom is like A) someone feels it's "really weird" to read something "old" and leave comments or appreciation or B) people think something has to be an "active" space at all hours filled to the brim with "new" content from people to not be considered dead. I'm in a lot of different fandoms and some of them don't get a lot in them these days but that doesn't mean the fans aren't there. Sometimes, a fandom might be you and another person, but as long as you as there to make things because it makes you happy, and to support others in the same boat making content because it makes them happy, there's no way something can be considered dead in my eyes.

Again, this is nothing against you, Anon, it's just my displeasure at how modern fandom is in general. I know what you mean and I get that it's really sad to see not as many people into Mystic Messenger as there used to be.

Because, in some veins, I miss seeing as many people as I used to every day, and in others, I don't. "Popular" fandoms are fraught with drama and tension these days because people aren't apt to block and cultivate spaces for themselves like they used to. Small fandoms tend not to have as many issues in this regard, though they are not wholly devoid of drama, unfortunately. I'm comfortable where I am because I haven't had to deal with as much nuisance in my corner since I have been here for years and know how to enforce my boundaries. I get to see my friends have fun and not worry about anything but my love of the game.

The long of the short of it? My friend, consume the content made by fans who are still active and support them. Screaming into a void or not receiving feedback makes us assume people don't want to see us create things. I understand the silent or shy audience, but if you don't say something, creators assume nobody's listening. A fandom will be better in the long-run with people engaging on both sides, it doesn't matter if you don't create things, but if you love what other people in the fandom are making, you should tell them.

Because, God knows how many silent followers I have. I'm only aware of those who like my posts, chat with me, and try to take an active interest in my content. I'm still writing and creating because I love Mystic Messenger with all my heart, but I can tell you that even I have seen a drop in engagement from people over the last few years compared to when I started. I love all of you, but it does pain when I hear someone say, "I'm scared to talk to you" or "I want to say things but I think it's weird to do that on old posts so I don't bother."

My stories get likes and kudos, but I've hardly seen comments. As a writer, comments are what motivate me the most here.

I will infodump and chat with reviewers so much in my comments if they prompt me. I give hints, clues, and more to anyone who has questions and tells me what they're thinking as they read a story. You want to see a new chapter update? Review. You want a sequel? Review. You want to see me do anything? Review. Say something. If you want to see the place you love not be "dead", you need to engage with the people who're at this very moment, writing, drawing, editing, etc things for themselves and others.

Other people will probably tell you the same thing. That they want to create things but they feel disheartened by radio silence. I don't like the fact that some people are treating fandom as something for pure consumption. Fandom is not about consumption. It is not about that nor has it ever been. It's about sharing our love of a story with others in every way imaginable. The more it's treated like a commodity to be used and thrown aside for the next shiny model, the more you'll see a conversation around "that fandom is dead, why bother?"

To me, that just sounds like "Why is someone using that old device they love when they could buy the new one? Who cares that it's not broken. I think it's weird to have that old thing when everyone moved on to the new thing."

Who cares if a fandom is older and not as "shiny" as something new? It still matters. To me, looking at this place makes me smile no matter how many people come or go because I'm looking at years of love that can't be erased. We're like a well-loved car that just needs some TLC now and again. You don't care if the engine sputters a little, you know just how to oil the gears to make it smooth again! The oil in this case is just people being kind to one another and promoting the many people left taking the time to create things out of love.

[inchidentally]

I just love everything and every little detail about the Landoscar dynamic. It's so captivating. The pt. 2 video of the mid season celebration just showed another layer.

Oscar is the typical mischievous introvert who teases the unhinged extrovert to do the crazy things for him, for his own amusement. And Lando will just cave because I don't think he can say no to Oscar, even if he wanted.

no fr anon the fact that Lando likes being able to wheedle and fuss and complain around the people he loves but is otherwise extremely shy around new people and finds it difficult to navigate new places without friends or his team around to help… while Oscar is overall quiet and lowkey but can get extremely mischievous and actually prefers to navigate new experiences and places all on his own… Lando thrives on consistency and feeling comfortable… Oscar is super flexible and happy to make sure other people are comfortable… Lando is extroverted in that he thrives on being around people but introverted in how he'll only relax and let loose around people/places he knows and trusts (having multiple sets of friends groups for different activities etc, keeping tons of friends for over 10 years) Oscar is extroverted in that he rarely if ever seems daunted by wherever he finds himself and never 'performs' or loses his self-confidence but introverted in how he'll prefer a one-on-one chat in a club over being in the middle of the action and needs a certain amount of time and space all to himself… the way their little 'games' are Lando whining and misbehaving to get Oscar to do what he wants and Oscar's is to get a twinkle in his eye and bribe or connive to get Lando to misbehave with him…

and bc I think maybe the air temperature in fandom about Hungary has reduced enough, Oscar fully knowing that Lando - like any driver!! - will have to be pushed and forced over team orders no matter what the circumstances (Oscar is quieter about it but no less reluctant) AND that Lando will require space and time to come down off the emotions after the race because that's always when it's most difficult for him (and the media know this ie them creating the Lando/Max drama). Lando literally saying he remembered what Oscar's "done for him in the past" and all the times Oscar's been so happy for him after team orders and like my god for ppl who know Lando !! his reactions to the media immediately after that race were the purest proof of his respect for Oscar and their partnership by him overcoming that initial tidal wave of personal disappointment and anger. Oscar moving to stand close to Lando at Lando's plinth and Lando reaching that hand out to him and them sharing that baffled smile between each other bc it's just A Lot but the one thing they know is that none of this situation is something to take out on each other. (and oh !! the poetry of brocedes between them !! the contrast of a different generation and intimacy being mistaken for understanding - compared to landoscar choosing understanding over immediate intimacy) but Oscar didn't push any further into Lando or ask for anything else and Lando fought to give that smile every time Oscar looked at him and like !!!! they gave each other things and then gave each other space !!! and chose to see out flight delays in a little group and then playing a board game in an even smaller group! and so many ppl haven't fully appreciated that they've always done this before I think bc it was sort of expected by Oscar's position in the team for him to obey team orders, even when it really hurt. and definitely bc a lot of folks see Oscar's calm demeanor and think he isn't burning up over giving up a lead or losing out on a podium in exactly the same amount every driver does. but as Lando keeps reminding even his own fans, he knows what Oscar's done for him <3

and the cameras and media back at MTC clearly had Lando thrown back into that feeling of quicksand over every single thing he said and how he said it and he'll have fully witnessed how his own friends and family and hardcore fans will have felt and how often can he reiterate something before someone decides to accuse him of just delivering a PR line and uuggghhhhhgg. but then !! Oscar breezes in full of mischief and smiles and standing tall and proud !! and Lando can giggle and step back and breathe a little from the weight of The Narrative bc the more Oscar keeps refusing to let it settle over them the less interest others will take! if Oscar won't be drawn into anything about the team orders or Lando then The Narrative will slowly lose all it's color and interest and Lando can breathe and disappear into the break. bc for all that he has experience on Oscar, he does not have experience of this situation at all!! and Oscar bearing them up through it with that same unflappable calm while Lando writhes and grapples with it inside himself is just <3<3

and it all boils down to what's compelled all of us into their dynamic so deeply despite them not baiting with fake gay or bromances or publicizing a friendship in a way that usually gets us invested. they talk and they communicate and they allow space to learn each other and to react and behave instinctively. on the one hand they already have a shared wavelength that's gotten noticed by pretty much everyone and we get glimpses of how they hone in on talking about things with just each other kind of forgetting that cameras or other people are around. but on the other hand they still watch each other talking and reacting SUPER closely at times and keep fumbling around the concept of their rivalry and their partnership in this conflicted and clearly kind of anxious way. they'll have certain people in their lives pushing for them to say to hell with being friendly with the other guy - then they'll have Andrea and the team negotiating life at the front and keeping both cars there - and then the fact that when all that pressure is lifted, they have a genuine fondness and gentle affection for each other that would make them easy friends in any other circumstances.

and that's why it makes all the more sense why they choose to not broadcast to fans when they spend downtime together or give us their relationship in any kind of packaging. they're not hiding it but they're not letting us into a share of that space. as a few of Lando's friends/colleagues showed that weekend, a lot of unnecessary mess gets created when people can't separate work from private life feelings. and it's why Oscar has wisely asked everyone in his own private life circle to limit their opinions and commentary - Nicole's podcast ep was about Oscar as a person and only a bit about him as a driver. just like how Lando and Oscar don't hide anything about their dynamic or their partnership at all - even down to saying how they need to do more sports together - but they're not going to consider fans or PR at all when it comes to developing that dynamic and partnership. private but not hidden or secret.

so it's ended up as this rare experience of watching them both openly get to know each other, negotiate the honestly dizzy fast experience of going from a backmarker team to both being top 4 in the WDC in under 2 years together - and in a car that is identical between the two of them and that they've both developed with open communication between both garages. in being so open and honest about all of those experiences, their personalities have revealed themselves gradually to each other and honestly to fans as well.

which is why everyone who thought Hungary would be followed by a massive dry spell or just angsty/fix it fic was way off - nobody's into landoscar bc they're another perfect bromance where all we want is sunshine and positivity - and they're honestly not even yaoi fodder. they're so gd compelling for authors especially bc they're in so many ways equally softly rounded and hard edged and their dynamic is so effortlessly sweet in some ways and so intriguingly complex in others. Oscar only talks about Lily the same way he talks about Lando (when it comes to non-racing stuff). Lando reveals a more vulnerable, quieter side with Oscar that you don't really see in him with other drivers and even a lot of his mates. but then they're both identical in their determination and focus and desire to win that would be like drift compatible but in this case they're also each other's opponents.

they don't spend as much social time together as they have with other teammates, but they have a level of understanding each other and improving each other they've never had before. they don't go clubbing regularly but they finish each other's sentences. etc etc etc.

they get thrown into one of the most dramatic racing/team orders scenarios at a point in the season when it's even more dramatic, but they remain steadfastly resistant to the divide being pushed by fans and the media with a maturity that I hope more people give them credit for considering how young they are ????

and again, I don't expect them to be able to have such smooth sailing as time goes on and McLaren are eventually dealing with two number one drivers. but !!! their maturity and understanding of each other will also only increase so !!! they're just very very very exciting to watch and talk about and write fic about !!

[castlebyersafterdark]

Well. Well. Well. It's May 3rd.

✨️ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THE CASTLE ✨️

In my wildest fandom dreams, I did not anticipate this blog becoming... what it is. A year ago, I was a random fan who only interacted at that point with my few long time online friends, aimlessly scrolled tumblr, and lurked silently this corner of the fandom with intrigue. The catalyst was seeing all the fun people were having doing what they wanted and I think I'd reread one of my favorite spicy Byler E rated fics and thought - that's it, I want to write seriously again. I want to be brave and reach out to authors here I like and try to workshop ideas and improve writing with a blog, and maybe join this space so a couple more of us can openly hang out.

Well. The Castle is pretty big now and incredibly wild ❤️ Do yall remember when I "didn't want to share too many personal details" 🤣🫣 and how I refused to thirst too openly over Finn and Noah and audacity ⚠️ as we've come to call it was secret, never posted?

I adore our collective hangout spot, our perpetual sleepover, our confessional, our vent sesh, our whispered secrets and screamed excitement, and our analytical debates and discussions. I love this little community and have found it now quite important.

Thank you to all, for making a man like me feel so welcome when I was unsure my perspective and personality would be. Thank you always to for being kind in the not so chill moments, when my human reactions take over, and thank you for being kind as well as I've let myself be vulnerable and open about mental health. Thank you for being creative and adding to the fun of fandom and inspiring me to be creative in turn. Thank you for supporting me over the year here as I've undergone massive life changes, from me waxing poetic about my boyfriend to the excitement of getting engaged and planning a wedding.

Thank you for inspiring me and enjoying my writing. It means the world that any single person would have read any of my fics or drabble posts. Yall make me want to give more and more. It's a slow process sometimes, but I want my stories to be well-crafted, and I want to share some really cool ideas with yall even more. In this next year here, I'm trying to focus more time on writing. I have 17 wips sitting at the moment and plan on finishing them all. So. I'm here for the loooooong haul.

I've always been a big fanboy when it comes to media thats resonated. I have never not been in fandom spaces so long as I've been using the internet. Started really young. And as a young man, hey, I'm still kicking and balancing my reality with escaping online. It's so cool now that there's this little community to share my time and imagination and sometimes rabid excitement with. Thanks for nerding out with this big ol' nerd 🤭😘

Thank you to those who've reached out beyond the cherished secrecy and comfort of the anonymous ask box. I value those connections and friendships. This blog and fandom have led me to some very dear friendships now, that never would have happened if I hadn't gotten brave, made this blog, and hoped someone out there wanted to chat about this crazy television show in the way I really was yearning for. It's so much more than that now.

Please know I'm always here for anyone who needs an open ear, or has an idea to share, or who wants to say something to the void knowing the void is waiting with a kind thought and a hug, or who wants to dive into a topic both fandom or personal, anon or private message. The Castle is vast, there's plenty of room and all friends are always welcome.

Simply... thanks to all for hanging out ❤️❤️❤️

I'll be here for as long as yall will have me 🥰🥰

[selfship-confession-void]

"Isn't Enemies to Lovers proship" Nope! Here's Why (+ Explaining Strawmen)

Proship/comship/neutral/darkfic DO NOT interact!! This post is not and never will be for you, stay away from me.

So I got this question as an anon but the ask just disappeared 😭 anyways I feel like this is a good topic to tackle because this shoddy argument is thrown around a lot

Short answer: No, but it can be depending on the execution

Long answer: Enemies to lovers as a trope isn't inherently toxic, but if it's handled wrong then yes the relationship would be abusive and ergo would be proship. But just because it CAN be handled poorly doesn't mean it's AUTOMATICALLY toxic and bad on principal

More under the cut:

I've had people I've hated who I later warmed up to. Happens all the time, that's life, you're not gonna like everyone. But that doesn't mean we abused one another or made one another's life a living hell. If you're thinking about ETL (Enemies To Lovers) in the context of the Enemy being this ruthless tyrant who tears down the MC at every opportunity, ruins their life, and overall makes the MC severely harmed from their actions: yes, that is abuse. THAT relationship would be proship.

But that's what I call BookTok ETL, cause BookTok is where it's most normalized (and let's be fr, they normalize proship stuff ALL THE TIME). BookTok ETL is specifically different from general ETL cause most interpretations of the trope are written by people who know there's a line between flirty angry banter and actual harmful interactions. Any sane person who loves the trope will tell you there's definitely a limit and that it becomes gross and uncomfortable when that line is crossed.

And, what I find important to emphasize: every trope CAN be toxic if done wrong. Childhood Friends to Lovers can be unhealthy if the childhood friend in question is a thoughtless shitbag and torments the MC. Coffee Shop AUs can be toxic if it's someone harassing an essential service worker the whole time. I've experienced media that's made me love tropes I usually don't care for just as much as I've seen media do a trope I love so badly that the relationship is a cesspit mess that I wouldn't ever dream of supporting.

My point here is judging a general and inherently harmless trope just based off of the idea that it could sometimes maybe be portrayed as toxic, doesn't mean the trope is on principal bad/toxic/gross. "But what about hero x villain?"— same rules apply. If Villain is terrorizing Hero or the ones they love so badly that it gives Hero trauma or deeply negatively impacts them in a scarring way, that is abuse and no one should argue that it isn't. But the trope can also be lighthearted and sweet, depending on the way it's handled.

Now onto my second portion:

What is a strawman?

A strawman is directly defined as "an intentionally misrepresented proposition that is set up because it is easier to defeat than an opponent's real argument". The very question of attributing harmless tropes to abuse romanticizing proshippers is a strawman. An argument that's meant to seem like a "HAHA GOTCHA" to people who don't sit and think for more than two seconds on how you're literally grasping at straws. This ties into a common trend of proshippers trying to worm their way into everything.

Let me be blunt: proshippers did NOT and never have invented shipping, selfshipping, fandoms, or anything of the like. They like saying that as an imaginary "gotcha" card to the rest of us, just claiming with zero proof or evidence to have invented online spaces because that's easier to argue over than the fact that they're supporting actually disgusting things. 9/10 they just wanna piss people off and then flood them with harassment when the person points out the obvious holes in their argument (pretty ironic coming from the "we don't support harassment!" crowd by the way)

So, to reiterate and be as clear as possible; no, enemies to lovers and hero x villain aren't proship. They can BECOME proship if specific portrayals are done in a very toxic way that make the relationship abusive, but any trope can be represented horribly, so no it does not automatically mean the trope as a concept is proship. Claiming it is is a strawman argument largely used by proshippers because they're deflecting from what they're actually doing wrong and trying to grasp at straws to "epically own the stupid antis" or something like that

Ty for reading

[cinnaleaf]

For the Racists Hiding in Anon: Log Off or Step the Fuck Up

Let’s have a chat!!! Because some of you seem to need a very CLEAR and LOUD wake up call about the way you conduct yourselves in fandoms.

Quite frankly, the racism running rampant in fandom spaces is disgusting and embarrassing. We shouldn’t have to keep circling back on this topic just because people insist on showing how truly uneducated and bigoted they are.

To the racists hiding behind anonymous accounts to send racist messages to others..I find you to be absolutely simpleton and pathetic. You’re not clever, funny, or even giving the read you think you are – so I’ll do you one better 😇 I think you’re a parroting bird that loves to hear yourselves chirp. You would never do this in public because you know the consequences it has. So why are y’all so suddenly bold online?? Your anonymity on the internet will not save you from being a pea brained buzzard hiding behind a screen. It only proves you lack the educational substance to inform yourselves of biases and at the very least correct it – it’s really the least you could do, seeing as black people live rent free in your mind.

Secondly, Trent is a black man. He’s not some token for you to project your racist fantasies onto. Regardless of his antics, this man has black ancestors, family members, and friends who are black. Thinking you can simultaneously froth and feen over him, read my fics, and send microaggressions and blatant racist hatred to other black women in this space is pure cognitive dissonance. Trent doesn’t want you. He never will. Even if you do feel that you fit his publicly conceived ‘preferences’. He’d take one look at your vitriol and be just as disgusted as we are. Sit with that and ponder.

I started writing fics because I wanted to create stories that are fun, reflect my experiences, and to connect with like minded people in the football space. My blog will ALWAYS be a safe space for black people, queer people, disabled people, women, and anyone else who understands what it means to be marginalized. If you cannot handle that, if my existence (and others) somehow offends you – this space is not for you. I don’t want you reading my fics. I don’t want you lurking on my blog. I don’t want you interacting with other black bloggers and people of color. And I definitely don’t want you bringing your racism into a fandom space that’s meant to be a fun refuge for people like me.

Your microaggressions don’t move me. Your overt racism doesn’t scare me. All it does is prove that your ignorance is a vast wasteland – you should honestly be embarrassed by that. And to be real, I refuse to make this space a comfortable place for you. If you want a space to spew your nonsense, find it elsewhere (where you’ll probably be banned) because it won’t be here. You’re not welcome here and I’ll brick the wall you try to crash into every time you attempt to make this an unsafe space for others. Maybe then you’ll understand what your hostility feels like when you dish it to others. 

And to anyone who’s been on the receiving end of this bullshit – your frustrations and exhaustions are 100% valid. This corner of the internet belongs to you just as much as anyone else, and you should feel free to make it safe for yourself in whatever you deem fitting. I don’t want anyone holding their breath before scrolling because of these people. Do not allow them to poison your safe space with utter nonsense, it’s YOURS.

I have only been active here for a few months after lurking for years, but in that short time I’ve connected with some really amazing people over these blood pressure inducing games, silly men, and just life in general. That’s what this space was meant for and I refuse to let anyone take that away from us. If you feel like this space has become more stress than it’s worth, I totally understand and would suggest taking a break if you need to, but your presence and perspectives will always be welcome to me and many other like minded individuals who aren’t smooth brained.

Anyway, I say all this to say I will not let someone else’s hatred exist here and I’m actively working on making sure these people are weeded out entirely. Make them uncomfortable, they deserve it.

If this bothers you racists in anyway, step the fuck up without anon being on so I can really give you the read you so desperately deserve.

x

[tsbs-shipfessions]

Deciding to try this out cuz I can't comfortably rant about it anywhere else other than private DMs, and it's really eating away at me (I'm trying to move past it but my brain hates me and keeps running it through my head). Solar and Nebula. I just straight up don't like it and doesn't feel in character for Solar to me. It's also just extremely weird to have a character who's been shown to be single and very family oriented. I get that it's good for Solar to have someone he can confide in OUTSIDE the family, and that it's supposed to be a super chill and subtle thing. But I just hate it every time it's brought up. It just feels like almost every character has been shipped with someone else, either in canon or fanon.

Fanon I'm more okay with cuz I can just ignore it and continue to enjoy the shows. But if it's canon, I can't fucking do that. I've tried to look at the good parts, but it still pisses me off and makes me uncomfortable.

Next one is Eclipse and Roxy. The guy has SPECIFICALLY & VERY CLEARLY stated that he HATES romance. Oh, Eclipse asked Earth twice what she thinks of her. Why does it always have to be god damn romance! Am I being hypocritical? Probably idfk, I'm very on and off with romance and ships and whatever. I see it as Eclipse asking his first ever friend, who he can really be himself around and not hold back, if she approves of his newest friend. Whom of which has a very similar personality as him and can put him in his place when needed etc. I loved how she was able to comfort Eclipse in the recent episode. She is the first and only person ever to see him full on cry.

Just like how I feel that Solar doesn't need fucking romance to have meaningful bonds, Eclipse doesn't either. They both have had so much shit happen to them, and I personally think it's inappropriate to start dating someone in such a situation. Solar just realized how much he actually cares about Jack and is accepting becoming a father. Same with Eclipse. They don't need a partner to get the help and comfort they need when a familial/platonic relationship works perfectly fine.

Sorry if I sound too harsh or pissy, I know it's all fictional and shouldn't really matter, but I can't help how it makes me feel at times. Fuck *exasperated sigh* Thanks for listening to my rant. I just wanted to feel comfortable someplace to truly express my thoughts and feelings without getting fucking called out and humiliated.

Despite the purpose and over all existence of this blog, my mod is actually aroace, so they actually understand your feelings rather well, Anon.

((yeah lol i do to a T. i don't really watch the shows anymore- just run this blog and exist in the fandom-space. do i personally care about solxneb or roxyxclipse? nope, but i answer the confessions regardless because it be mein Job. i still don't like letting in ship-negativity asks through, but eh. i'll make an exception. ooga booga))

[moondal514]

hi! do you have any fic recs for the aftg fandom? ideally AUs but where the characters aren’t ooc

Anon you have no idea what kind of blank check you’ve given me with this ask 😂. For the sake of my own sanity I have limited myself to only listing 10 fic recs but please know that there are literally 100s of fics I could rec within these parameters 😂.

the opposite of hunger by constelationprize/ @constelationprize

One would think that, being a necromancer, Kevin Day would be more excited at the prospect of immortality. And maybe he was, once, before he had actually sat foot inside Canaan House.

...

Based on prompt #1, or: "the locked tomb au where kevin and riko are necromancers and jean is their cavalier. they are invited to canaan house by the emperor to achieve lyctorhood, but kevin refuses to perform the lyctoral theorem on jean. riko, on the other hand, has no qualms about it. "

The Locked Tomb au. This fic is just insanely good and highlights how well Perfect Court dynamics work for the Third House and it just blows my mind honestly

if i die young by animediac, dayurno/ @jaywalkers, @dayurno

Kevin Day is sixteen with eyes too human, a gift no one should ever have, and blood Andrew thinks would spill out black over the snow outside. He is standing in the school hallway with a dead boy at his feet, and he is going to die by Andrew Minyard’s hands.

He must. He will.

Kevin Day, singer of bodies. Harbringer of death.

Teen Wolf au. A collaboration between 2 amazing writers in this fandom and responsible for converting me to Kandreil

vengeance and death by cthulu_sun

legend says you have wax-dipped wings and golden fingernails and knives made of the blood you have spilled. legend says you are not merciful.

-

in which renee is a tired guardian angel, finds the foxes, and falls in love.

Guardian angel au. This is one of my favorite Renison fics because it’s such a cool universe written in a beautiful and unique style and I just think it’s one of the most underrated fics in the fandom

Hush, Don't Say a Word by waterwings/ @amywaterwings

Excerpt from local newspaper, January 10, 2016

A Killer Is on the Loose at Palmetto State. Are You Safe?

For a detailed re-telling of the gruesome events that gripped the Palmetto State campus over the past eight months, please see the pages below. But I beg you, dear reader, tread lightly. You don’t know what’s waiting for you, out there in the dark.

~Katelyn Golightly, Student Journalist

Murder mystery au. One of my favorite fics of all time ever across any fandom because the writing is visceral and gut-wrenching, the kind that has you holding your breath and on the edge of your seat as you read it, and by the end of the fic it’s broken your brain in the best way possible

We Can Live Forever by mostly_maudlin/ @mostlymaudlin

PALMETTO HIGH SCHOOL ATHLETIC FUNDRAISER

WINTER SERENADES - $5 EACH

On sale Dec. 15-17 during lunch blocks. Support our teams, and let them show your friends how much you care through choreographed song and dance!

-

Participation in the fundraiser is mandatory for all student-athletes. Maybe none of this would have happened if they weren't pushed out of their comfort zones. (But honestly, maybe it was always going to end this way.)

A story about the joys of competition, the people in your corner, and, of course, the misfortune of being a teenager in love with your best friend.

High school au. My favorite high school au in the fandom because it just makes me so so so happy and I always read it when I need a pick me up

The Real Folk Blues by moonix/ @annawrites

Captain David Wymack and the bounty hunter crew of the Bebop spaceship might be a little out of their depths chasing down the infamous hacker and notorious runaway Neil Wesninski, whose bounty exceeds even Kevin's wildest dreams. Worst of all, Andrew might actually enjoy it.

Cowboy Bebop au. Super fun au featuring the Foxes as space cowboys and copious amounts of weird Andreil flirting

Under A Sea of Mist by puddlejumper99/ @writingpuddle

For a thousand years the Lord Ruler has reigned over the Final Empire. Ash falls from the sky and strange mists shroud the night. The skaa labour in the fields and the nobility dance in their Keeps, their glittering lights blinding them to the cruelty in their hearts.

The skaa rebellion is a fantasy and Neil knows it. The Lord Ruler is immortal; there's no overthrowing him. It's as much a surprise to him as anyone else when he gets recruited. But as he gets drawn deeper into the plot, he starts to discover things that will change their understanding of magic forever.

There's always another secret.

Mistborn au. A fic whose existence still feels incredibly self-indulgent to me because it’s a mashup of 2 series I really love and an au plucked from my wildest dreams

The Sphynx and the Hare by darkbluebox/ @darkblueboxs

Neil knows he should burn Wymack's contract and run until his legs can no longer carry him. His daemon, the mouthpiece to his soul, says otherwise. He's ignored her for far too long; it's time to follow his heart, be it to dream or damnation.

Daemon au. Theeee daemon au of all time, I’ve yet to see any other daemon au in this fandom where I agreed with the choices of animals for daemons this hard

the bittersweet between my teeth by alaynes/ @nicolos

In which Neil Josten is a Time Jumper, and everywhere he goes he keeps seeing one man.

-

Neil's throat dried; the sound of keys rang in his ears, but so did his voice.

Andrew Minyard stared back at him, expression inscrutable.

Time travel/reincarnation au. Time travel au’s are always tragic on some level but this one really takes it to the next level with the way it explores Andreil existing outside of time the way they do; my go-to fic when I need to experience an Emotion™️

The Last Warm Hand To Hold You by sambutwithbooks

When Kevin Day warns him that the Moriyamas will send a monster to collect their star investment, Andrew expects something beastly.

-

Five Times Andrew Asks Neil To Bite Him and One Time He Finally Does

Vampire au. This is to me the vampire fic of all time; idk something about it is ridiculously romantic in a way I can’t help but love

-

Hope you enjoy these anon!

[arcane-vagabond]

Hey.

Go ahead and get settled because this will be...long, in true Liz fashion.

So, by now I'm sure most of you have heard what's happened. If not, you can search this blog for some answers or others for more.

I joined this fandom offiicially at the end of September after being a long time lurker. I had just lost my job and times were uncertain for me. I felt inspired to write, and as someone whose formative years were shaped by the fandom experience, I wanted to feel that sense of belonging again - to feel like a part of a community. I've talked about it on here before, but I started my fandom days in the original Hunger Games fandom when the first movie had just come out, and then I shifted gears towards the SuperWhoLock fandom. If you know anything about SuperWhoLock, then you know you had to have pretty tough fucking skin to be a part of any of it.

Of course, this was back in the day when fandom was an actual community and not authors having to beg for scraps of engagement and people thinking its a numbers game. I was a fairly large blog within the SuperWhoLock community (Waywardly-Carrying-On was the username), but I left fandom for a few years because life got hectic and I felt like I had outgrown the fandom itself as I was no longer watching any of the shows. As the years went on, I started to yearn for the fandom experience again, which is how I found myself dipping toes into several different ones.

I was so excited to publish my first fanfic. I had convinced myself that I wasn't a good writer (much to the chagrin of my irl friends), and I had put a pause on writing my original story. I wanted to write this idea about a cowboy and a girl using characters that I had grown to love like I did way back in my older days. So, I started posting, and I was so excited for the story, that I kept posting almost daily. MamaMay was one of the first people to embrace not only my story, but me as a person into the fandom. She made me feel welcomed and wanted.

Pretty much right off the bat I was already getting anons telling me that I was being too much and that I needed to calm down with all the posting. I was confused because...this is Tumblr. It's literally a blogging website? Why wouldn't I post? I decided to ignore the mean words (not before giving my opinion, of course) and kept on doing my thing. Well, the anons got continually worse and worse. I had a suspiscion as to who the anons could be, but I never had concrete proof. So, I experimented with blocking suspects until finally it worked. I'm not naming names because that's not my style, so don't even bother asking.

The fact of the matter is, some of you have entered fandom spaces for the first time, and you don't know how to act. You don't care to learn fandom etiquette as you've made abundantly clear by calling fandom olds every name under the sun while utilizing the anonymous feature. Newsflash, you're part of the problem. You're the reason why authors don't want to publish anymore. You are the reason that something that's supposed to be fun is starting to feel like a goddamn chore.

How many times can authors on here say that we aren't machines? We have lives outside of this website: family, friends, jobs, school, etc. Some of you really are just hellbent on making everyone around you miserable, and it's sad. You can't just leave well enough alone and let people enjoy something, no you feel like everyone has to enjoy it the same way as you.

Some of you go after authors on here because of some weird sense of jealousy too. I don't know why my shit blew up, babe, I really don't. But I started out with no followers and no support just like everyone else. I'll tell you what helped me though: following fandom etiquette and reaching out to other creators to build an actual community. None of this "I've reblogged three of your things and now I'm messaging you so that you return the favor." No, I reached out to make actual friendships which is what fandom is SUPPOSED to be. If someone was clearly not interested, it was fine!! I backed off and kept doing my own thing.

Some of you think being mean on the internet makes you big and bad. Guess what! It doesn't! It's loser mentality and I feel genuinely sorry for you. I'm sorry that people in your own life made you feel so small as to feel like you had to lash out at strangers on the internet who are just trying to have fun.

Anyway, this is my really long way of saying that I am taking a break for a little bit. I have no idea how long it will be - could be the weekend, could be a couple of weeks, could be forever. I need time to decide if this is something I want to keep persuing. If I come back, I don't know if I will remain a TGM blog or if I'll shift gears and hop into another fandom with a rebrand. Guess we'll just have to see.

To the people on here who have been a constant source of joy, laughter, and support: thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Your presence has meant everything to me, and I hope that my break sees me wanting to come back and giggle about the silly plane movie with you all again.

Nothing but love,

Liz 💛