#and i do think i am a 'feminine' woman but they still think ur not Feminine Enough to be a Real Woman if u dont have ur nails done 24/7

[pissmoon]

'U just need to discover ur feminity! If u dont get acrylic nails brows and lashes done every month and dont do 1 hour contouring routine everyday ur a poor self hating soul who wasnt shown proper feminity!!' is personally funny to me bc I had this 'wannabe makeup artist' phase like 4 years ago but got bored of it bc shits too money/time/energy consuming to be worth it? No thanks id rather smoke a blunt and go for a walk on my day off you know. Binge buying at sephora? Id rather spend it on cds or books or random flea market shit 🥰

[decolonize-the-everything]

I think I saw somewhere that the alternative word for transandrophobia/transmisandry is anti-transmasculinity. It’s a term coined by a Black trans person to describe what you’re describing, if that helps at all? I just saw ur post that you wanna re-define or find a better word and I wanted to tell u that it exists! Was very relieving for me to like, discover it esp as a mixed race trans guy

That still aligns me with a gender and I don't want that, that's part of what I want to address actually.

I feel like I aligned myself with the masc term to begin with because women are pretty clear misogyny affects others, but others aren't allowed to center our experiences within it or define our oppression with it which is fine. Transmascs seemed okay with me using their term so I did.

It's just that in looking all this up, like I said I realized I needed a word that didn't align me with masculinity or femininity. I'm not oppressed for being a man or a woman or trans I'm oppressed for being none of it and insisting on it. There literally isn't a word for that experience, not in English.

I'm two spirit and I feel like I'd be just as uncomfortable if I transitioned as I am now tbh, I'm considering it hesitantly because of that. Perhaps the HRT I need just doesn't exist and I'm not smart enough to imagine what it is, idk.

I'm almost a trans man, but I'm not and not for a lack of dysphoria but because I don't think transitioning would help. I don't feel like a man, I'm not drawn to anything about manhood and likewise with womanhood. They're fun to dress up as sometimes, sure, but neither are my gender and neither are my ideal sex. It feels like I am both and also neither because the way they're understood is all wrong. I relate to both but would never identify as either one. I use nonbinary most often for that reason.

Two spirit means a mix/variety of spirits/energy rather than having just one. In this case the very rough English translation would be something like a mix of gendered traits like feminine and masculine (which can happen in Many ways). We were considered queer enough to target when colonizers started their pillaging; they didn't like us or our diversity, if that helps provide an image of how a two spirit could present and act within a community.

The adage goes cis people don't question their gender so I'm not that. And I would transition if I knew what magic (perhaps even impossible) combo would make me happy.

What is it to not be a woman, or (theoretically) trans but still experience systemic gender based oppression? Not just for rejecting femininity or masculinity, but for being something else?

We were grouped in with queer people for being definitely queer compared to the average cishet, but not all of us are trans and have genders easily categorized or understood through colonial language or structures.

But I also know a lot of two spirit people don't like the word queer and are more hesitant to use it because it doesn't encapsulate our experiences.

I want a word that does.

And I feel like "discrimination based on having a gender/sex outside the colonial binary" is a decent definition for the system I want to describe. I don't think that it erases anyone else's experiences either and is even inclusive of them, but please correct me if I'm wrong.

what do y'all think of that?

I'm thinking I'll have to make another word to label being actually affected by it.

[ca-suffit]

There is a debate on Twitter, about this photo of Santiago circulating with Eglee on his lap and someone asked artists to draw Loustat in this position.

What was my surprise to discover that 99% of the artists would represent Lestat sitting on Louis'... obviously each artist represents their own visions as they want but I don't know why in my head it seems so incorrect.

I know it's a bit cliché and I have to deconstruct myself from binary thinking but for me Louis is more female coded than Lestat, I have always seen Lestat as a representation of the patriarchy maybe I am wrong maybe I am too binary in my representation of the couple,Lestat = patriarch, Louis = mother and Claudia = the child in identity crisis?

the show itself has directly said / shown that lestat is the patriach, louis is the "housewife" and claudia is "the mistake." it's always worth examining ur own perspective but in this case, it comes directly from canon. there's even a quote somewhere from anne rice about her writing louis from a woman's perspective bcuz louis *was* her at the time she wrote it. so it's even book canon.

seeing lestat on louis' lap feels incorrect bcuz it *is* incorrect. we have had these arguments forever bcuz there's a divide in the fandom of ppl who see what the show is saying and ppl who want to pretend it's not there. they'll usually use arguments to scare ppl to taking their side too, like ur being antiblack if u think louis is feminine (literally not a real thing at all) or something about homophobia idek.

but when ppl make lestat this over the top, sassy, white gay caricature to louis'....blackness, rly? it isn't doing shit except softening lestat's traits that don't need to be softened and overlooking *all* of how louis is a black, gay man himself. it paints lestat in a less harmful and more easily digestible light and leaves louis as a black man stereotype.

ppl have not seen a black, gay man like louis before. lestat is seen as the only "real" gay rep a lot bcuz his whiteness gives him the ability to be more open about things than louis gets. his personality also enjoys that more. he at times "fits" what ppl are used to when they think of "gay man." that's only one version tho. louis expresses so much of his own identity as a gay man all the time, ppl just don't know how to see it. he acts like his own mother so often and has more biting commentary than lestat ever says, but ppl overlook all that bcuz lestat is white and does things more theatrically.

louis wants to be soft and vulnerable and cared for to a degree, but again ppl aren't used to seeing this from a black man. he's also built smaller than lestat. they intentionally had sam bulk up whereas jacob did not to place more emphasis on this too. louis struggles with eating as well, something not necessarily *only* a feminine thing at all but still largely viewed like that by a lot of ppl, especially in the role of a wife.

the reason ppl are more willing to start saying how louis started to act at times in the loumand relationship is "his real self" or whatever is bcuz that *is* what ppl want to believe. that *is* the antiblack male stereotype. ppl think he's hiding this person rather than the fact it's a coping mechanism and survival technique. it's not like u could *never* write a black man like this without it always being antiblack. there's ways to do it without being harmful. what makes the fandom's reaction to louis like this so antiblack is the fact that we've been shown over and over that that *is not* the real louis and yet ppl insist it is. they'll have a thousand headcanon explanations of why everyone else masks for whatever reason, even to excuse outright abuse, but louis doing anything "aggressive" is just.....typical louis. lol ok.

so ya. it feels incorrect bcuz it *is* incorrect. bcuz this is all a dynamic that is backed up so far by fanon only, and fanon that is hugely influenced by antiblackness.

as another comment on the end of this too, I see a lot of "gnc" comments around lestat just for having long hair, but where does anyone ever say this for armand? u see the ways fandom just hands shit to white characters for no reason. "I am she, she is me" is also seen as some kind of gender thing bcuz it's too icky to process that it's a rly colonizer ass line for the white, french guy to be saying. ppl use sexuality and gender to soften lestat all the time and then call u homophobic when u say anything otherwise. it's the same technique used over and over again to avoid criticism, u just pick a different focus each time (misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, etc). it's usually a white person thing but not always. this fandom has a lot of fans of colors saying awful shit and relying on scaring white fans with their identities to make it hold more weight. like "don't make louis feminine" came a lot from a black fan (showmey0urfangs) but what it rly stemmed from was her personal discomfort with mpreg fics lol.

[hellokittyballsack]

WAIT. DO U ALSO HC DRIX AS TRANSFEM. OR AM I. LOSING MY MIND.

I DO IN A WAY ? ITS COMPLEX SORRY

i dont like labels but i do refer to drix as she/her because i see her motherly love and gentle soul that she carries around on her sleeve. i love her sm... ARGHH also i love ur pfp

(im gonna use this opportunity to rant about labels since i was looking for an opportunity to share this somewhere NOT MAD AT U OR ANYTHING LOL TLDR: hairy balding cis men are beautiful women the way they are ♥️ masculinity can be feminine vice versa if you let it be🖖)

you can skip blue text and just read the green part, blue's more of a personal experience laadeedaa!!

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

with a lot of my fav cis male characters i tend to slowly start calling them she/her the more i love them, dont really know why but i think thats just me projecting since im a trans man so i cant really enjoy femininity authentically, yknow? (or the way i want to) ide get misgendered since the body i was born with is "female" or "feminine". 🍅 🍅 🍅

plus im almost certain if i was somehow flipped and born a cis man ide still end up transitioning(not medically but thats a personal thing) and then yearning for masculinity, simply because i hate how these bodies limit the perception people have of me. i want to be my own person, identify as me first, not to have my label define me or my identity for that matter bc identity is SO much more complex than just one word.

its like Ying Yang but sadly i cant ever be a true neutral because that would mean dressing androgynous which i cant do because me, dressing androgynous, would just be a boyish girl. and me dressing masculine would get the results of "being seen as androgynous" because of how my body is naturally. but is that fair at all? so the only thing i can do to be seen as masculine is to medically change my body? ☹️

and i dont want to be seen as androgynous either at all, i love my male identity, dont love what comes with it but love it. and want to be perceived as masculine, ..but being androgynous is the only way you can build up your identity on your own without someone viewing you with a gender filter on their glasses.(sorry for the shit metaphor) and after people find out whats in your pants they will immediately talk to you differently and that SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if i want to put on a dress that doesnt make me a woman or a feminine man, let me enjoy this dress, masculine-ly ‼️‼️🤲 PLEASE

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

(⚠️this isnt relative to the asked question as explained prior, use labels all you want guys but know its okay if someone doesnt use labels ect ect. just explaining the jist here quickly⚠️) sometimes people use labels to put others into boxes and focus on "whats womanly" / "whats manly" --- so its difficult to have people respect your identity while "breaking the rules" (their rules) of said identity. aswell as people focusing on the physical. (body and such) rather than finding beauty in feminine and masculine features you have without that lowering your validity of said identity. this being said that usually happens in heteronormative spaces BUT it occasionally slips in into the lgbtq community.

masculinity can be femininity vice versa, its not just black and white 🫂 body hair can be both for example, even in "masculine" areas, it still can be feminine. and that should go for any body part, clothes, action, interest or anything for that matter ♥️♥️

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

like with peter strahm from Saw (aswell as mark hoffman) thru months of writing scenarios between them and my brainrot i now see them as the most beautifully gorgeous women and that includes all their hairy appendages. that doesnt necessarily mean i headcanon them as transfem, i see their "male" bodies to be the peak of feminine beauty, as well as their masculinity. i mean that i dont "genderbend" them and turn them into cis women, and i dont add or take away from the original character, longer hair or a sudden change of clothes, or trans scars even though im trans myself and will probably end up with such scars (in a perfect world i would be seen as male with or without boobs) theyre perfect the way they are and i love them dearly oh so much 🫂🫂🫂🫂....(not saying its bad to do any of that, live your truth) i may draw them wearing dresses or lipstick time to time but thats not what defines their identity as women, who says theyre 100% only women either fuck it lets go full genderqueer!! theyll never be cis women yes, but thats not what my goal is at all. trans love everybody ♥️ transexual pride!! ♥️♥️(and even if you dont identify as trans but still arent cis ♥️♥️youre valid however you feel, whenever ⭐) But that doesnt mean i headcanon them as trans also, theyre them, and i want to see them shine, not being shadowed by a label or limited by one, that goes for Drix too. that doesnt mean im against such label, though theres really no way of explaining without it SOUNDING like i am, go fuckall with your headcanons imagination is free!!!! just labels arent for me AND THATS OKAY

theyre all my girls who are boys who are girls MUAH 💋

[theramblergal]

Oh my god I just finished reading To Love a Murderer and it was so good😭😭 Kanha and Lila AHSKDBSNABAN💗💗. Also Satya jiji and Lila the best girl duo to ever exist. Anyway I was wondering how everybody in Dwarka must have reacted to her death (🥲). They must have been so distraught, Kanha when alone sometimes just thinks abt her and remembers their time together (he also kept her mangalsutra with him), for a few months he skipped going to his daily walks at the beach altogether, or when Satya jiji is stargazing and she suddenly remembers Lila and how they first met, when Charumati remembers how Lila braided her hair, satyaki and kritavarma too remember her when they spar. When Kanha although knows the laws of karma better than anyone is still sometimes hit with sudden pangs seperation and grief , he too finds peace in Rukmini jiji's garden just like Lila did with him a long time ago.

I assume Lila had multiple births after that. And through each birth Kanha stood by her. Even tho he might not be physically there she feels someone's presence with her all the time. Or maybe presence of two people even, one more feminine. Each birth Lila feels a strong longing for someone and for Dwarka. She might not remember but the land of Dwarka does.

You maybe wanna expand on that or maybe even a small chap😏(no pressure tho I just wanted to share it with you because it's in my head 24/7)

Love all of ur writings btw💗💗😭😭

OH MY GOD I AM SCREAMING AND CRYING-

Thank you so so much for this anon! The validation is just pure bliss 😭

Also yeah, about the grief.. you've got all the details right. Here's a little something for the long and sweet message:

Grief is a myriad of things, my dear stranger. I have never known you yet somehow I feel like I do, by the shape of your absence in places you have lingered, like the way darkness is known without light. Grief is the sudden tears of Satyaa Nagnajiti, falling to her knees the moment you must have passed on; it is the dead stare of Madhuraa, the woman you sought to kill and also amend; it is the keening wail of Iltani, of a love struggled for and lost even after the worst of battles. It is the fierce clash of Satyaki's and Kritavarma's weapons, lost in their remembrance of the innocent child within you that was long hidden. It is the indentation of the shape of your mangalasutra on Krishna's hand, the single blood soaked pair of his yellow garments that he refuses to get washed. It is the rushing of the sea against the shore; peaceful here, on the land blest by your husband's protection, but raging elsewhere on the open seas. It is the emptiness with which the ocean weeps salty tears, for his daughter's heart has been hollowed out; she has no hand to hold as she goes about her duties; for your beloved lord has not returned to walk the shoreline without you. Grief is Rohini waiting for you by the library every Friday but returning fruitless each time; even without knowing you, she grieves, for you have passed into history, the subject she much loves. Grief is the quiescent emptiness of your palace, the vast and unbroken silence of your chambers. Everything is as you left it. Your jewels are yet scattered on the bureau dresser; the red silks you much favour still lie on your bed. I have never met you, Lilavati; but you were much loved, and the grief borne for you heavy.

Hmm, not very refined but I did my best.

And yep, Lila definitely had multiple births after that. I do plan to write a modern AU of her one day.. but that might be actual years down the line, because I want to rewrite the whole thing now 😅

Anyways, thank you again so so much for the sweet ask! I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

[redheadbigshoes]

Is it just me or now many younger/new lesbians aren't willing to search into lesbian history. I've recently been talking to a few (probably younger) lesbians about butch/femme culture and none of them (that are outside of the identities) seem to understand why they're so important? Many of them just see them as another stupid useless side label used for dressing masculine and feminine and not the identity it is . It really upsets me how they aren't even willing to learn and how they think it doesn't matter.

As a younger butch it really feels like the newer lesbians really don't like me because of my identity and they don't understand me at all. They just see me as another masc but thats really not what I am. I really do feel like an outcast with lesbians that aren't and don't understand butch and femme.

Sometimes really hard being around other lesbians that aren't butch. I feel like something that isn't worth loving and not "woman" enough to even be considered a lesbian in their minds.

Sorry for the rant, hope ur having a nice day :)

I personally feel like people don’t usually care about learning new things that are not about them. They don’t have interest. So when it comes to lesbians who don’t identify with either butch or femme, even though those labels are connected to the lesbian community, they still have no interest because they are not butch or femme.

And I think it’s always needed to take into consideration (especially when we’re talking about online interactions) those terms are very linked with the US and other english-speaking countries, so people who’re not from any of those places don’t know of the history and don’t want to because that’s not their culture.

No need to apologize! Hope you’re having a nice day too

[actualbird]

Before the actual ask, i have a suggestion: maybe add some general non-tot asks/req rules? bc i'm writing this rn like "this may be uncomfortable but i don't want to make you uncomfortable but i don't know if it will make you uncomfortable but-" 😭😭😭

now um, my ask:

i'm currently getting struck by gender dysphoria at very random moments and i don't like it. thing is, i don't know what my gender might be since it goes both ways and I was wondering, if you wouldn't mind sharing: how did you figure out you're trans?

hi anon!!! lemme go thru this one by one but first, i wanna preface everything with: dont worry, none of this makes me uncomfortable and you said nothing wrong. theres nothing here that cause for panic on ur end, it's alright, ur alright :D

okay so

on general non-tot asks/req rules:

i do have these rules!! theyre just not as Many as my tot-specific ones, but on my rules page u'll find these in the 2nd section :D

theyre like, reaaaaally general but the overall rule for all other asks is basically "be nice, i cant read tone well, and dont spam" so no worries, ur all good. i dont wanna make these rules any more specific because everything else seems like a case to case basis yknow

and now to the bulk of my answer

on trans stuff:

short answer on how i found out i was trans: it made me happy. god, it made me so happy and it makes me happy to this day.

long answer: come with me, anon, through my gender journey through the years....JKSDHVFKJSDHVKFSD

ok so for the longest time i knew i wasnt completely woman aligned in the gender department. like, from ages 14-20 i had identified as a bunch of different genders. first i identified as bigender, then i backpedaled and went back to just having "she/her" in my bio because i had a Moment Of Panic wondering "no no the Genders are for people who Really Truly Identify (whatever that means) and i shouldnt co-opt these terms because im not even sure what i am!! im not allowed to identify as bigender until i really figure it out!!*", and then for a while i identified as nonbinary, and then the pandemic happened which i think hilariously due to the lockdowns had the cool side effect of many people figuring out Personal Things and at some point in 2021 i was like ".....hey im a guy, actually. it makes me happy to be a guy"

*sidenote 1: this "but am i allowed to?" worry is a common thing i see a lot from other people also going through their journey of questioning their gender, and i wanna talk about it specifically later on in this response, but bACK ON TOPIC FIRST---

sidenote 2: yes, like a pokemon trainer, i have collected the three starter pronouns. she, they, and he. KJHAVFLASVFALSJK

backtracking through the other genders i had identified as, i'd chosen them all at the time for similar reasons: joy. i identified as bigender because i felt recognized for the first time, an identity where i could be both feminine and masculine. i identified as nonbinary because i adored the comfort of that freedom and that fluidity. i identify as a trans guy now because i realized that i can find joy in being a guy and still enjoy expression of "non-guy" things because guys who like pink and frilly fashion and plushies is still a valid and real type of guy, it's the type of guy i am. and these are more on the positive markers of gender expression, the opposite of gender dysphoria: gender euphoria, the happiness when gender stuff feels just right

btw, you are indeed using the term gender dysphoria correctly. that simply pertains to any kind of distress or upsetness due to gender things Not feeling right. within that definition, theres no requirement for you Already Having To Identify to use it, because otherwise thatd mean anybody who found out they were trans only after experiencing gender dysphoria was using it incorrectly, which seems rather silly. and even if the definition Did have that requirement.......who cares? JKHDFVSKDJHFVKSD i mean that in the most genuine and sincere way ever, because so long as it is harming nobody, who cares what word you use? sure, a Bunch of people care actually, and a bunch of people will pitch a fit policing on being allowed to use certain gender words and whatnot. but in general ive taken to trying to remember that like.....gender stuff is a Personal thing. it is the business of the Person Themselves, as it is our identity. it is up to us to define it, to explore it, to make our own choices on it. and well....generally, people who think your expression is any of their business is, at best, nosy, or at worse, a bigot.

i went on a tangent there sorry VSDFLJBFL, but my point is dont worry, youre using the term right. if youre feeling Not Good because something about The Genders doesnt fit, yeah thats dysphoria. and im so so sorry youre experiencing this, because it sucks

i said before that my main marker for realizing gender stuffs was the presence of a positive emotion, instead of the presence of a negative one. but i also experienced gender dysphoria, it just wasnt as big of a thing in my own journey. for me, it was less of a wrongness and more of a vague...discomfort. like wearing shoes that dont fit. it's fine some days but other days i couldnt stand it but my legs still work and i was much more focused on the times i Did find figurative shoes that fit immensely well.

.....oh something i think that wld be important for me to mention is that i kinda....somehow always knew i was of Another Gender. but i kept hesitating and kept backtracking because, kinda like what you say, it went both ways for me

im a guy. but i also really liked things that are traditionally seen as feminine, i still do. ive got a closet full of lolita fashion dresses, mixed in with the ridiculous amounts of plaid shirts ive got. throughout my life, i was never really regarded as masculine by other people, more often i was seen by others as some kind of manic pixie androgynous being. and these things, they made me hesitate. how can i be a guy if so much of who i am is seen by others as Not-Guy stuff?

well, eventually it's cuz i figured that what others think should have nothing to do with who i am and who i choose to be. relating back to what i said about Genders being a personal thing yknow. why was i so worried about what other people thought of a thing that only concerned me?

yknow one of the most gender affirming experiences ive ever had in my life was back was i was in college. i was just going out and about for a group work thing, and the classmates along with me were rowdy manly cisguys and i was feeling low and it showed, i was all meek and sad and shit. and then this lady came up to me, and i didnt get to know if she was a transwoman or a femme presenting gay man, but she sat with me and chatted with me and eventually she asked

(this convo happened in filipino but roughly translated it went)

her: do you want to be a boy?

me: yes (i answered so instinctively. at the time, i was identifying as nonbinary, but she asked a question and i gave my honest answer. yes. yes i did.)

her: well, youre very handsome! youre more handsome than any of them //gestures at the cisguy classmates

and that stucks with me to this day. another queer person asking Me what I Wanted, and affirming that. didnt matter that i looked like how i looked, that i obviously wasnt as objectively or normatively masculine as the cismen around us. what mattered was what i wanted, and i was handsome for it, and that was that.

after that we just talked about pop music, but i felt so good the rest of the day

now...on the unwritten question here of "how do you (as in, anon, or any other reader out there) know you're trans (or any kind of other gender designation)?" or if you already know you are some other gender, how do you figure it out? who do you ask?:

im sorry for how cheesy or seemingly unhelpful what im going to say next is, but i cannot stress how crucial it is: the only person who can ever answer these is You. ask yourself what makes you happy, what would alleviate your discomfort, what would cause comfort, what youre drawn to, etc.

but if i can give any unsolicited advice on that....itd be to make sure that the person youre asking, the person who is giving the answer, is really You. not the thoughts or opinions of other people, not the rules of what is considered 'norm', not the fears or the worries circling around the question, dont ask those things dont find the answer in those things. the person to give the answers is You.

and btw!! You can change sometimes. and sometimes your answer can change too, and thats okay if ever that happens. all my prior answers to this question changed in through life, and it doesnt mean any of my prior answers were wrong (sans the time i backpedaled, because then i wasnt getting the answer from Me, i was getting the answer from Worries). it just meant that those were the answers for Me when i was at that stage of my life.

tldr: i figured out i was trans because it made me so damn happy to be and also because i stopped giving a shit about what other people thought

i hope this response makes sense and that theres something in here that can help you out. im wishing you the best, anon <3

[tornad001]

reply to a trans woman on her post without degendering her and calling her they/them/their challenge (impossible) (how the fuck are you going to debate someone on the existence of transmisogyny and not even correctly gender her and yet expect everyone to agree with you)

i don't check for ppl's pronouns before responding. if u read the posts and come away with the conclusion that the 2 (two) they/thems i used are a sneaky transphobic tactic, im sorry to say the reality is much more banal and unintentional

i changed it tho. i default to they/them when i don't know someone's pronouns. but i honestly have very little respect for trans ppl who get actually upset when u "misgender" them with gender neutral pronouns. i think it shows a fragility of identity and a level of self-centeredness that is telling. if ur too emotionally reactive to hear a queer person use gender neutral language as a default for ambiguous circumstances, then ur too emotionally reactive to be having mature conversations with other queer folk.

i thought we were all about not assuming people's gender? but maybe that just doesn't apply to binary trans ppl? am i supposed to just divine the gender identity when it's a trans woman? i could've made the connection, username catgirlforeskin, being belligerent about the misogyny/misandry paradigm, etc. but any of that would still be an assumption. and if u want me to just look at their profile before i respond to anyone, im not gonna do that

cuz again, i have very little respect for trans people who get unironically upset at being they/them'd. thats the way i do engagement and if u think that makes me transphobic, well i obviously disagree, but ur entitled to ur opinion. i literally don't even bother correcting ppl if im misgendered irl usually. during the pandemic i got ma'am'd a lot cuz of my long hair, mask, and shawl, but how does it affect me? why should i care? i always just got kinda tickled that without even meaning to i was performing femininity well enough to bamboozle the lady at the reception desk. i think if ur performing queerness, u can't get upset if ur they/them'd. we're all for correcting ppl who misgender u here, but i think that process should be a gracious notice that that's not the pronouns u use with increasing intensity and eventually vitriol if not respected. but no, yall decided to serve up emotional reactivity from the start. i used they/them twice in the same post and didn't misgender them aside from that (cuz the rest i referenced her directly with you/yall) but rather than a "hey she uses she/her pronouns" followed by my "oh i didn't realize, ill change that", u had to come out the gate swinging with accusations and assumptions. like it wasn't even a he/him, that i can at least understand being emotionally reactive about, but for gender neutral they/them? insane, whacky nonsense. its the year of our lord 2024, be more normal

[sealovinq]

XELLE OMG HI its been way too long 😭😭 idk if u rmbr me .. previously @/recordplayershipping (scout) !!! i saw u as i was clearin out my discord friends list recently n i wanted to come see how u were doing 🥺 i hope schools going well!!! also take this as a free pass to introduce me to the f/o ur fixated most on rn!!!!!!! <3

HELLO HELLOO!!!! AAAAAAA SCOUT I MISSED YOU SM!!! of course i remember you omg you're literally one of my fav moots /gen i'm sorry if this took too long WAAA i didn't know which f/o to talk about.... and yes i've been SUPER busy with school and it's starting again in a few days so 😭 BUT TYSM FOR STOPPING BY, I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL TOO<3333!!!

it's actually been a while since i got a new f/o... but i started rewatching m.lp (my lit.tle pon.y) and am currently around season 5 and erm... ya girl got a crush on one of the main 6 GGRGRBRHRJFJ she reminds me of my partner irl so WIWIWIEIJEJ HAHA NOT SURPRISING....

in reference to that previous post of mine i was actually referring to appl.ejack 🙈🙈 LOOK who doesn't like a masculine woman (mare in this case) who can carry me without breaking a sweat amiright WEEEHEHHEJD.... and the human version (NOT E.QG) fanarts of her DID NOT HELP because they all drew her with a muscular body and i am literally!!! so weak for that!!! HELLO!!! SAVE A HORSE RIDE A COWGIRL 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

i've made a ponysona too UABAYUSBDHDJ i haven't drawn her with aj as of yet because i suck at drawing ponies 😭 and i haven't made much lore about them either but i just like thinking about them hehehehehe

here she is!! my precious lil gem!! i based her off of the color palette of the beach hehe classic ocean-loving me. she's besties with ra.rity and would often come to her for advice about what to do with aj (pre-dating). again i haven't developed her but she's very Pretty and i love her so so so much. i would love to see her getting introduced to farm life by aj even though she's a bit icky about dirt but she'd do anything for the Girlfriend!!!

speaking of ra.rity i actually kin her! so it doesn't bother me when i see ra.rijack or any other ships involving aj tbh. BUT HELL when i do see ra.rijack I GET SO HYPED BECAUSE WE ARE SO CANON<333!! yes she is holding my waist and kissing me on the mouth yes that is me with the curly purple hair ehe

idk i just love aj a lot 🥺🥺🤧 i love especially how she's so blunt sometimes UABSHDIJD and she's so hardworking and does everything for her friends and such a sweetheart eeuuuuuuehhhh.... i wanna smooch her so badly and make her flustered AWAWWAEAEEEEEE

also i've re-explored my gender and decided i am more of genderfae (basically a gender that fluctuates to any gender except masculine ones, for example i can be feminine or neutral any time but never masculine ones) and have developed an attraction to mascs which aj perfectly fits into... aha <33

i don't think i'd be shipping with her e.qg version. they're canonically high schoolers and usually range around 16-18 but it's not confirmed so it's still kinda weird so i'm sticking to her pony version! og is always the best anyway 😍😍🙏

look at Her and her Handsome Face

SHE!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🧡🧡🧡🧡

[hellboundhimbo]

MORE JOJ GIRLS joanna's design isn't creative at all with the exception of her dress. like its deadass just jonathans outfit. REASON FOR THIS BEING a lot of my thoughts on her are less abt her design and more abt what her story could be. strap in fellas its time for an Unhinged JoJo Rant courtesy of tumblr user hellboundhimbo.

now i already touched a bit on the subject here, but boy howdy if she still doesn't live in my head rent free. since writing said post, I've had a brain blast in the form of an epiphany that, what if all those concepts, but she's TRANS. i know, i'm a genius (read also: stupid gay idiot). t4t jonaeri, anyone?

i wanted her design to reflect the journey of coming into her own, and finding her own definition of womanhood. at the beginning of PH, she wears very traditionally victorian clothing. long dresses, corsets, those big ass hats, the whole sha bang. over the course of the story, however, she realizes she doesn't need to conform to societal standards to be "worthy" of the title of woman, so she begins to dress in ways she wants to, or is practical for that specific situation. i wanted to make it a point that while she lets her hair down, she never cuts it or is like "EW EARRINGS BLEH' cuz like. femininity isn't her enemy!! its the patriarchal standards that enforce such a rigid, static form of it onto people!!

when it comes to the trans aspect of her story, I thought long and hard about how to go about it cuz like. i'm trans masc myself, and the last thing i'd want to do is try to infuse transness into a story and have it feel like a redundant, shitty commentary that intrudes on the narrative or smth. i think I've come up with a good idea of where to go with it, though.

i think joanna probably came out sometime in her early teen years, around 13-15, but started questioning around the time she met erina, (haven't come up w a name for him yet, if yall have any ideas feel free to shout em.) who came out much earlier, like 9 or so. just like the idea of joanna being like "omg wow u changed ur gender wow that's so crazy haha doesn't everyone feel that way tho" and erina's like. no???? they don't????

anyway once joanna came out lady joestar was like "ok fine u can trans ur gender BUT you gotta be a lady." which sucks cuz no more rugby but fuck it we ball (or I guess. not. ball.) she struggles a lot with being a poised debutante cuz shes like 6'5 and rich dudes don't really like it when their dance partners could chuck them to the colonies with one arm but fuck them. rest of the story remains mostly unchanged, blah blah blah dio blah blah stone mask blah blah you know the drill ANYWAY speedwagon's first appearance is when we really start making some real impacts on joanna's character, with some definite parallels being drawn between joanna, who was lucky enough to be rich and accepted by her family (for the most part,,,) and speedwagon, who lives in the slums with no family to speak of. by proxy, some parallels to dio as well (she'll get her own ramble when I post her design in 284738374 years), because phantom blood sets up so much for a conversation about classism that we see so little of :( love phantom blood tho dgmw

also you can bet your sweet ass that hamon is becoming a metaphor for queer liberation.

don't wanna divulge too much about it cuz like I am hoping to write something about this at some point but,,, big Thoughts here trust me bro.

to address the elephant in the room, how does joanna got honkers if there was no hormone therapy in victorian times? hamon doubles as hrt. if araki's allowed to pull new hamon capabilities out of his ass every 5 seconds, so am I. it works for the metaphor too but like that's less funny.

[souvlakicocaine]

.

I rlly want 2 read the female eunuch by germaine greer but I also don’t wanna spend too much time thinking abt this tying it up in knots in my head I need 2 revisit. all females r woman impersonators bc “femininity” and the assignment of certain traits as feminine was invented by men to compliment their idea of masculinity, which is exaggerated and valorized but overall I think represents a more “default” type of behavior for humans. I mean just think of how a man acting “femininely” is ridiculed vs a woman acting “masculinely”. these roles have little to do with sex, which is innate and unchangeable, they’re entirely man-made. and I think this is the source of a lot of dysphoria in female ppl, they cannot for the life of them jam themselves into the weird role of femininity. even “masculine” women are characterized solely by that when their same behavior in a man would be unextraordinary. so a lot of them seek to escape the framework of their gender altogether, and perhaps gender overall, which leads to the “theyfab” phenomena. ultimately if “woman” just meant “human with w vagina” I’d happily call myself one but unfortunately connotations stick to the word no matter how much we try to separate them so I can’t say I am one. I def have dysphoria around my 2ndary sex characteristics T would prob help w that but idk. how nondysphoric “cis” women and feminine men fit into this im still thinking but I got an idea. ultimately gender in the way we conceptualize it is fake tho ironically the tumblr-picrew-nonbinary-polyam-demisexuals who crow abt this prolly play the biggest role in enforcing the cult of gender. anyway spending too much time thinking abt this rots ur brain so I’m just gonna get a job and when I revisit everything will b so much clearer

[fagmegumi]

u not a lesbian tho ur bisexual

Okay so let me clear this up not even for the benefit of anon but for my mutuals who don’t know me irl and may get the wrong impression from it.

what i meant to say in those tags is that the reason i still feel comfortable going to women’s places in my current state of existence is that 1) lesbianism AND womanhood both come in many diverse flavors of gender experiences so to speak 2) ERGO even lesbians who are straight up cis women can and will be attracted to people with various kinds of gender experiences, both “internally” so to speak (‘identity’) and “externally” (various configurations of genitals, breasts or lack thereof, body hair, presentation, etcetc.) this isn’t the case for ALL obviously but its certainly the case for some. Like I personally know lesbians who know about my gender situation and would still fuck me lol im not even being prescriptive rn as you point out i am NOT a lesbian and its not up to me to say what they should or shouldnt do. Im literally describing reality. 3) as i exist right now, i am a person with breasts, a pussy, and a relatively feminine face (though invisalign is doing wonders on my jawline, werk!). To say that no lesbian who sees me in a bar dancing could possibly be attracted to the person they see is genuinely so far out of the bounds of reality it boggles the mind. Also this is neither here nor there but i don’t exactly consider myself a “man”, like I would never want to fill the social role of ‘man’ the way a cis man does. That’s why i call myself transmasc but not a trans man. If id been born with a penis and assigned male at birth and raised a boy etcetc, i would STILL want to socially and/or medically transition bc I simply dont see myself as a genuine 100% man the way i dont see myself as a woman.

If i ever do manage to get hrt and I acquire more masculine characteristics etc the situation will be different, like I wouldnt feel as comfortable going to spaces for women. Also I should specify that the bar i went to today does not call itself a “lesbian bar”, it is a bar for queer women of any sexuality (and their friends and allies of other genders). Not every single person in there was a woman, and not every single woman was a lesbian. Statistically in fact many of them were probably bisexual, and honestly assuming otherwise is lowkey pretty biphobic lol

lastly, i also want to specify that, even if im pre-transition and i look for all intents and purposes like a cis woman (something that makes my life hell in many generic lgbt places, where the general misogynistic and boys-club vibe makes it so gay dudes will tolerate me at best and assume im a ‘fag hag’) i still would never have sex with a lesbian without clarifying my gender situation to them first. I simply would not feel comfortable with that in fact the thought makes me pretty nauseous. But at the same time 1) i know (again, for a fact) there are plenty of people who use the label of lesbian who WOULD fuck me even after knowing and 2) i dont think grinding a little on a stranger in a bar you saw from a cross the room and found really hot, or even having a short dancefloor makeout with them, is anywhere on the same level.

[0x28]

i think wrt "social pressure to get bottom surgery" there are two aspects of it, both of which are transphobia/transmisogyny. in that of course there's a lot of fearmongering over bottom surgery as "mutilation", about how much you'll regret it, about all the horrible complications you could get (for anyone considering bottom surgery reading this post: most ppl on the internet are talking out of their ass, if ur worried about complications either speak to an actual surgeon, people who've had the surgery, or read papers on complication rates. the complications you hear about from transphobes (or even well-meaning non-op trans people) are nearly non-existent if not literally impossible), all of which is discouraging people from getting surgery. all of these boil down to the fact that the surgery itself is stigmatised.

but though the surgery itself is stigmatised, the results of surgery are upheld as an ideal. obviously there's a lot of stigma around being a woman with a penis or a man without a penis (worded specifically bc ime the way people talk about pre/non-op trans men it is literally about the lack of virility rather than the presence of a vulva/"femininity"; but that's a digression & different topic) so, yes, there is also pressure to get bottom surgery insofar as there is pressure to become a woman without a penis/a man with a penis if that is at all possible (which, to varying degrees for different people, it is). people may say that you can obtain these ideals just by not transitioning, but like, come on that is just facetious. a lot of ppl who get bottom surgery literally could not have lived as their agab even if they tried, so yeah, for some people bottom surgery is literally an easier way to conform than just not transitioning at all.

to clear up misunderstandings i expect ppl may have if this post ever breaches containment: i myself intend to get bottom surgery as soon as it's accessible to me. i am speaking on this from the position of someone who both wants and fully intends to get bottom surgery. saying that societal transphobia/transmisogyny (& patriarchal gender more broadly) generates dysphoria is not the same as saying the dysphoria generated by society is not real & that the trans people suffering from said dysphoria should just be left to suffer and unable to get the surgeries they need. just that the need for surgery (not just trans surgeries but many, if not most, surgeries that get performed) is socially generated. and, yes, again as someone who does both want and intend to get bottom surgery, i do think there would be fewer people wanting bottom surgery in a hypothetical society where "trans liberation" has been achieved (whatever that may entail to you). that in no way contradicts the fact that, regardless of where my dysphoria came from, be it from social pressure or some other aetiological understanding of gender dysphoria, it still exists in me and will be alleviated by surgery.

[v-anrouge]

i saw ur carrd, whats wrong with hcing vil as transfem?

where do i start 😭

vil is a character that stands out specifically because he doesn't follow and dislikes gender roles, for him there's no such thing such as "something for women" "something for men" people should be able to do whatever the fuck they want to despite their gender, so saying vil is a woman simply because he likes being "feminine" and calls himself a queen is just??? you're literally just ignoring all of his character, i don't understand why people feel the need to push gender roles on characters ESPECIALLY characters that break it

the hc is bad representation for trans ppl, for transmascs because it's like they're saying if you dress "feminine" you're a woman and for transfems because it's like they're saying you need to be feminine to be a woman

ppl who have that hc like to say vil is implied to be a trans woman when in reality no, all he does is use a GENDER NEUTRAL pronoun which is used mostly by women it's still a gender neutral pronoun and it makes absolutely 0 sense to take it and go around saying that vil is a canon transfem and attack others who disagree w the hc which i wished was a rare occasion but really isn't

if u like the hc honestly good for u, i just don't want ppl that talk about it because as a trans masc seeing vil being confident and dressing himself in whatever way he wants comforts me while seeing ppl call him a woman makes the gender dysphoria hit hard asf, you may think that this is quite the selfish reason and to be honest it kind of is but i don't rlly care im sick of seeing gender roles being pushed im sick of seeing transmascs being invalidated and misgendered because they like to dress "fem" and when we finally have some representation a little bit of support ppl find a way to push gender roles

i hope this wasn't rude anon i am terribke at expressing my emotions through text

[menalez]

Ajfjsjakjdfjs there is a lot about lesbian culture in other countries I did not know about!! Like o_o why with thr nudes thing sjdjskdjsjd

I see though i think that makes sense. I feel like theres always that dumb idea of masculine feminine balance 😭 even though i myself am femme4butch i still dontt liek the whole oooaaga divine balaaance. Also its weird bc I think in USA, while there is that idea of course, there's also the 'lipstick' lesbians or 'fem4fem' stereotype or at least, what straight people think of the Good type of lesbians if it makes sense. Like what we see on tv... Its more appealing to them anyway

I mean my ex(😭 it hurts to say my god) gfs mom was actually a bit confused on whether she (ex) was trans like her brother (ftm) or just masculine, Bc i guess her idea of lesbians was the Lipstick kind.? but then also shes not usa american but latin American. Also she was very supportive and sweet just straight and confused with things gjdks

Still i think we have that too or single feminine lesbians get told how its good theyre not the ugly kind if people find out. I think gay men also have similar expectations put on them like ive read about families being more accepting if their son was the "top" or more manly seeming one in his relationship

Also me too 😭 its sooo weird like to have been pressured since being born+!!! And even my teachers would say omg stop flirtingg with boy classmate. ☹️ (crazy bc a teacher thatt taught us Gender Spectrum actualy said that to me bc i was telling this one boy off or something.. ookay.) And then my mom bringing up babies or grandchildren and then in the next moment telling me sex is evil and i should stay away from boys okay ma'am!!!

But jdjd glad that its not just me. Idk i keep feeling worried, but then I feel like im being stuck up and thinking im the only one in the world whos smart and sane so ill never find anyone. Like relax you are not the chosen one (@ myself of course)

Yeah i hope my family will be accepting andd not kill me fjsksjs and I hopee. I can find love and peace.... but thank you for listening! really I appreciate it bc sometimes it just feels like drowning in loneliness and i cant be myself even among friends andd etc. So. Ur very sweet 😭 mwah mwah thanks again mena

literally i could not tell u why she was showing me her nudes. im guessing it’s bc she wanted to show me that she gained weight and show her body before 😭😭 i felt like she was low-key flirting ngl lmaooo but she kept talking about her gf and that’s often a red flag for me sooo nothing happened there. i told her she shouldn’t sit around waiting for the day when her gf inevitably leaves her for a man n that’s not healthy etc. she’s also extremely self-hating in general and said a doctor told her that her lesbianism & masculinity are bc she doesn’t have enough estrogen in her body / has too much testosterone and that she should be on hormones to be fixed, which she fully believed.

im not keen on femme4femme lool from my experience most of them are weirdly anti-butches and hold misogynistic & lesbophobic beliefs! and i do think ur right that’s the more acceptable combo in the west (two gender conforming conventionally attractive women dating). i also hate the stupid idea that bc im not masculine im meant to be dating a woman who is bc it’ll “balance” us both. they also said when im with more androgynous or feminine women, i become more masculine which is “unnatural” or sth 🫥. also my mom is most in support of me dating women that can pass for men, i feel like she thinks if i won’t be w a man then the thing that’s best is me dating a woman who can be mistaken for a man. i think it’s mostly bc she wants to be socially accepted but it can be exhausting

ALSO the top thing is a whole ass thing in the gulf. there’s many bi & straight men who will literally get away with having gay sex bc they exclusively top 💀 a lot of those tests they use to check if ur gay (so they’ll jail u for it) are specifically testing if ur a bottom. it’s a weird weird phenomenon. and it’s especially weird that there’s this weird culture of even straight men seeking out men bc the society is very sex segregated. im sure some of those men aren’t actually straight but it’s such a prominent thing the way it is in prisons in the US that im sure many of them are. craziest part is this culture is most prominent in saudi of all places

omg when i was little i had mainly male friends bc idk girls thought i was a weirdo that stared too much at them or sth. and i was v close to my male friends, we’d hold hands n all but i think we both thought nothing of it. and my mom would be like “omg soooo cute my daughter has a boyfriend omg 🤗 she looooves the boys omg and they love her!!!” meanwhile im 5 years old and just thinking of it like holding my brother’s hand

manifesting u find ur dream gf soon and that coming out goes smoothly for u 🥺❤️ don’t hesitate to msg me whenever. i love hearing from other lesbians n it’s always heartwarming seeing younger lesbians accept themselves, i somewhat envy it (wish i were that brave & self-aware!!!) but it gives me a lot of hope for our future 🥰🥰🥰

[leonaluv]

okie cause I trust ur responses as they seem to have much accuracy and yes I might put some of my faves but like after NCT recent shit I gotta know lol cause idols can be very endearing but they want us to believe that innocent pure side to them.

heres mah list of idols I don't know if I quite trust or believe and sometimes I really want to believe they're sweet kind guys but these days u never know who hiding what.

NCT Johnny, mark, yuta, maybe add taeyong too ik they unfollowed taeil but idk they got to be on their best behaviours if they still want to be idols otherwise NCT is done for. And I think every member of NCT had a scandal at some point just got to e sure ABT it

enhypen heesung, another quiet idol ik I'm quiet myself but sometimes there's quiet and then there's too quiet, it's like bro doesn't want to be there. Should I put jay on the list? I mean he's American he's going to be a bit more OTT and likely into all sorts of stuff / could be wrong ofc but ya never know oh and I will add Jake too just bc again he plays too much into being innocent.

GOT7 mark / JB or jackson those three I'm particular sus of for no real reason ehhh I don't always vibe with their on camera actions or behaviours towards one another same with other groups like over teasing just don't sit right with me mm k

ateez ok I love this group with all my cold heart but I'm still sus of a few members seonghwa he's sweet but a tad too sweet does aegyo too much for his age and always seems to want to be the face of the group, sorry also going to put wooyoung cause he doesn't seem to mind being in everyone or anyone's face and kinda says things that make him seem a bit of a player or he's just got an out of pocket character as a whole or result of being in the kpop world from a young age, jongho ik the "baby" of the group but he scares me. And I really am not into babying men. Maybe I will ask ABT San too but that's the thing u don't know what they like and I don't want to waste time over worshipping grown men.

BTS sorry they can be top tier no one's going to take that away from them but there's still some members I dont vibe with, maybe i dont understand their charavter or feel like their on camera character is too forced. So jin, jhope and suga (had to ask lol, he doesn't seem to care to partake in group activities) almost loke he just there to perform and make music then calls it a day. Ik jk is sweet but even so he calls himself international playboy so imma ask anyway.

I just don't buy into the images of idols nowadays yet I still love these groups the themes / talent they have but I have my suspicions ngl

Sorry for rambling Thanks very much even if I'm wrong it would just be nice to know if these idols I mentioned aren't hiding anything abt their behaviours or actions

I know how Jin can come across but he seems good as he just likes hanging around older people/ cooking introverted hobbies . He just that nerdy guy . Jhope can be but of perfectionist and seem to have certain love style to him although don't think he would do anything. Suga said himself that he don't like to hang out with someone for a long time lol even okay with long distance.

I am a big fan of bts so of course can't say off this so my judgement not that great.

Seonghwa to me is just a bit more feminine, yeah he does have those confident vibes of wanting to make sure to be the face of the group but that is the main reason most want to be famous . Jongho maybe a little weird vibe but not something crazy for me . Wooyoung don't think he would have any big scandal . Although I am not into Ateez .

Okay so JB did have a bunch of naked woman as his art around his room , like to be honest I guess you can say it's art at the end day as V did had like naked chair of woman furniture to . Jackson , every clip of him and his actions always portray him as a gentleman .

I heard about rumor of nct going to red light distract and also that rumor of them sleeping and paying for fans to have sexual stuff with them . They also have rumor of being party idols. Although again just maybe vibes people have with bunch foreigner.

I like Mark and haechan they seem ok . But again Idk nct that well .

If this was insensitive of me to do ,let me know