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#and i feel weird and annoying and like im a bad person/friend
spookberry · 3 days
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An infodump is being requested and hoped for, what random topic have you been rotating in your mind lately*?
*can be from seconds/minutes/hours/days ago
Okay well im gonna rant about high school musical some more then, specifically Sharpay
One thing of note about Sharpay Evans that I have in the past seen people get wrong, whether cuz of the setup we're used to with high-fem mean girl antagonists, or just faulty memory equating the 2nd movie's structure to the other two as well- is that Sharpay "runs the school" in some way.
Sharpay Evans has an intense personality and is insanely rich. So people know her. But shes not even really in charge of the drama department(darbus doesnt actually play favorites within the club itself, she just likes the drama kids more than the non-drama kids) Sharpay's the queen of people assuming you know what you're talking about just because you're confident when you say it.
At school shes not really friends with anyone, outside of her brother. Like she sits with other drama kids at lunch but she doesnt talk to them lol. Sharpay is considered a laughing stock by most her peers and THATS the reason she doesnt want Troy/Gabriella involved in the musical. She assumed the "meatheads" as she calls them were going to make a joke out of something she cares a lot about.(thats not to day she isnt the bad guy of the film or something, she definitely is. Just that she isnt in a place of real power over anyone) After callbacks it becomes clear Troy and Gabriella are serious and their peers arent just making fun of the drama club so shes quick to offer support and congratulate Gabriella. Like Sharpays just dramatic and likes to be the star of attention, you cant fault her for that.
Like, shes queen bee of the drama department and a schemer to boot, but when shes at East High she doesnt really have any power the way she does at Lava Springs.
Also side note can you IMAGINE how fucking awkward thatd actually be to have like half your class working at a resort your family owns. Luckily Sharpay has no shame and would boss them around even outside of this scenerio but I briefly put myself in her shoes and I felt like shriveling up and dying. Like her mother makes this comment "these are your school chums not the fuddy duddy lava springs staff" and im like "this makes everything a million times worse, ma'am your daughter already has a bad reputation amongst her classmates and now youre allowing this??" The wildcats even mention feeling weird about having to wait on sharpay to which their boss assures them they wont have to(which is a lie!!)
Fun fact tho, me and my sisters used to rewatch the first and second high school musical films so fucking much that one time we were bored and started just like, quoting the 2nd movie from start to end word for word, songs included. And then afterwards we were like that was weird... do we know the first one too? we did.
The plotline in hsm3 with rocketman and the british girl was so lame tho tbh. Sharpay would never breakdown during a performance like that. Did you see her in 2 with Troy as her partner? It was like performing with a cardboard cut out and she still nailed it.
Side tracking again to actually talk about Gabriella this time. But the way the third movie treats her makes me so annoyed. Like the whole world is against her! Her Main Thing since Day One of this franchise has been that she wants a break from being "the smart girl" and just finally embrace her chance at a normal school life. She's never lived anywhere long enough to finish out a full school year, let alone have friends, and she finally gets that at East High and what does the universe do?? Make her feel bad and like shes throwing away her future for wanting to go to prom, perform in her last musical, and graduate high school with her friends. Which is like conpletely normal and reasonable to want?? I dont blame her for not wanting to go back to East High after all of her friends basically pushed her out and lectured her for wanting to enjoy her time there. Its not like stanford was going anywhere. She still couldve left for college in the fall like all her friends were going to.
I like to imagine Gabriella turns out to be someone who wants a very stable life for her kids. She settles down and makes sure they experience all the small joys of growing up that she just never really had.
Sharpay's ending was kinda sad too tbh. Even if she didn't have any plans for higher education at the end it feels off. (Why was she and Ryan even worried about the Julliard scholarship anyways? Theyre insanely rich)
Also dont even get me started on Sharpay's Fabulous Adventure. Theres some parts to it that i think are absurdly stupid in like the way a movie about sharpay trying to get famous should be absurdly stupid. And then there are other parts that are like :/ who even is this.
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madame-mongoose · 5 months
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Ughhhh
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opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months
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...
#its crazy how much easier it is to do things when youre not completely miserable lol#this past week has been weird bc ive felt really really good and like normal in a way thats kinds unfathomable#im hoping its the medication but my mood was already on an upward tilt and i was told it would take like 6 weeks for the meds to work#property but like ive been sleeping way more than usual. and by that i literally just mean 8hrs a night lol which is weird for me#like that never ever ever happens multiple days in a row. so idk. when i feel better it makes the 0cd way easier to manage as well#and im just generally not as anxious. on the more worrisome side i kinda just give less of a fuck so like i have an exam im not ready for#Tuesday and im just kinda like hm fuck that lol. ill go thru lil fluctuations of having a lot of energy too#like: i could run around in circles rn. i dont have to but i could. like yesterday i was out with friends and i was like bouncing up and#down while standing and rocking from side to side while sitting. which i kinda do anyway while in crowds but it was more to expend energy#last night i also got like 5hrs of sleep. so like maaaaybe ive been on the bleeding edge of mood elevation but for the most part it just#feels good and not destructive. like if i felt like this all the time that would b fantastic. its like oh so this is y ppl dont long to b#put out of their misery lol. depression? who? i dont kno her. sounds fake. but as soon as i fucking say that ill b fucking slapped back#down to earth. ugh. annoying. no emotional object permanence. i hope its the meds. if this is the person i am under layers of misery then#that is fucking so insane. we shall see. im curious to hear what the psychiatrist thinks of my brain when i follow up with her#i gave her my full dys1exia assessment which gives a pretty good picture of how my head functions. oh fuck i bet i would do waaaayyy better#on thise test if i took it in this state of mind. but anyway she has that on top of like 3 assessment sheets i filled out#dispite everything i still want someone to categorize me into a discreet box. tell me doc. am i really bip0lar? really really?#ur sure??? like 1000% sure bc my brain wont let me accept that unless its beyond a reasonable doubt. i just doesn't seem that serious.#i mean. it is but like ya kno. its not that bad. ay. this glob of mush behind my eyes runs me in circles#but for now thats ok bc i feel like i could run up a mountain or punch someone in the face lol#unrelated
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meateater-lamb · 6 months
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(dont read the tags actually)
#vent#god this year has been so fucking hard man#and things have been so strained with my friend#and i love them so much. theyre my best friend. but at this point are they?#cause they just keep getting pissed at me over everything#and acting really weird#and theyve just. turned into this unendingly angry and negative person to the point i feel like i can barely talk to them anymore#they are so short tempered which i mean they always have been but just not with ME yknow#like they for ten years were always so kind to me and weve always gotten along well#until the last like year#and i know theyre in a bad place but jesus theyve made it so hard to even hold a conversation anymore#and i mean i think things will get better if they can get out of their current situation. i really think we can go back to normal but just.#not til then. cause they seem like the only coping mechanism they use is pure fucking anger#and now theyve started directing it at me and im just. getting tired.#i cant tell if they are purposely pushing me away or not. but thats whats happening either way.#and its awful bc i just feel like its all my fault. like im not good enough#im not helpful enough im too annoying im just. not good enough care about anymore#they make me feel like none of my problems are important anymore and like i shouldnt even mention it if im struggling#meanwhile all they do is vent and rant and im really really tired but i dont think i can say anything#im trying to open myself up to being social with people other than them again.#they used to be my best safe space but now they arent anymore#but im still going to be there for them the best i can cause they dont deserve to be abandoned when theyre struggling#but i just hope they can get in a better place and idk. realize theyre kinda being a dick all the time#ugh idk#dont read this shit i just need to get my thoughts straight idk.#i was scrollin when i started thinkin abt this thats the only reason im writin on here abt it#probably gonna delete it in an hour anyway#moon
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twinvictim · 5 months
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1. How do I like a character whose entire life revolves around trying to save her brother no matter what she has to do because she loves him that much more than a character whose only personality is being really antagonistic and aggressively misogynisticly obsessed with a woman who at one point moved to a different part of the country partially to get away from him? Gee idk
2. I would like Akiyama more, like maybe Kazama and Sagawa tier If the games were more interested in pointing out that he's a horrible person. And he is. And maybe I'd like that he was a bad person more if I wasn't always being told he's a good person. It also just irks me that he's treated like he has real problems. Especially next to fucking Saejima and even Kiryu when he kinda just does a lot of this shit to himself and its easily fixable. He feels like a self insert anime protagonist in a way that annoys me. Sorry he's just not ad good a character as someone like Haruka or Daigo
3. It's my list
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astrxealis · 1 year
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sometimes (often) i think about the characters i kin or relate to and then the realization comes in again and again that i need therapy (/lh?)
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#unfortunately i doubt i will ever get therapy bcs i have this. thing. idk. but i believe in myself to just rely on myself?#and yeah i uhh can go on more about that BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT OF THIS sorry i suck at explaining things. anyways#humans. interesting. i am fascinated by humans and myself and i'm tired of typing now GOODBYE anyways xiv music is so fucking good#and also idk how to interact w others sorry ..... i am scared of getting close to people bcs everyone i've grown close to has ended up#leaving me or i mess up! but tbh it's better now i think and also not as bad as i think but sorry i still have bad issues with. that#me saying i don't want to type anymore and then proceed to rapidly type out so many words oopsies#pls just do not PERCEIVE ME !! unless you want to ig but idk why you'd want to do that uhm#yk i like tumblr most out of all social medias bcs it feels like i can... sort of just be my weird self here! and it's not fully nice#and i still have anxiety problems and overthinking problems and whatnot which is evident by my 100+ notifs i havent checked since#christmas but that's not the point (?) idk whats the point honestly uhhhh nvm (??)#OH I LOVE FF SO MUCH tbh it's w/o a doubt still my favorite series ever but drake/nier is also up there for sure#which i think is amazing bcs i have yet to finish a game. and ive only like played idk 5 hours of replicant and automata#and then ive already spoiled myself on important aspects of all games but that helps ngl uh. i could explain but im tired of typing#ANYWAYS GOD actually noehgjbsejhbghjes i really suck w interacting w others i really wish i were better at all that#im not super introverted or shy im just kinda awkward and anxious but im a fun person and all and idk#and tbh its interesting thinking abt my personality... some parts of me havnt changed at all from a bit (/pos) like my lively. aspect of my#personality !! i was a bundle of energy and a little annoying (perhaps unintentionally but now i think its a bit more on purpose lol)#but the only person who really sees my true self is me. and the closest to that is lune. but even i dont know who i really am#and yeah... wnvr im like woa ill make more friends !! and then when i have the opportunities i suddenly dont care anymore IT SUCKS#anyways i think i have Opportunities now again so lets see haha ?? at least uhh in school. its like 2nd sem and i dont rlly have friends#as usual haha that sounds so sad help BUT its not like im disliked im just rlly quiet and shy at school..... throwback to 7th grade tho#that was rlly the worst but also now is just as bad in a diff sense but back then i cldnt talk w my crush at ALL i didnt speak at all im so#sorry about that HELPPP I RLLY JUST CLDNT SPEAK anyways moving on in my class rn i do have a group of sorts. like#we're grpmates wnvr theres grpworks and we can pick which is nice! ive been classmates w em all b4 and theyre the cool kids#but in the more fandom sense and one used to be a close friend of my twin and of mine too by extent and then the other was someone#who knew me when i was more extroverted so yeah uhhh anyways#OKAY ALMOST MAX TAGS im DONE rambling. bye. hopefully. bye. oh god
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whilomm · 7 days
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🙃
#it really just feels like every single day is another reminder that im a peripheral at most#im no ones most important im no ones person they want to hang out with constantly im no ones best friend#yeah they dont hate me but they sure as fuck dont find me worth the effort to actually hang out with#and its not like i can blame them im so fucking annoying as is#of course no one fucking invites me to anythig of course they hang out without me and dont even think of inviting me#why would they? i dont mean that much to them#and maybe they wouldnt mean that much to me if i wasnt so fucking lonely that tiny bits of small talk are my standards#for actual conversation#i feel like it just fucking feeds itself#i think im friends ish with someone then i find out that oh they actually hang ojt with everyone ELSE constantly#and. its never even occured to them to invite me#and i just feel so fucking jealous and i dont know if im allowed to say that i would like to hang out or if that would be fucking weird#i dont know if im failing becaus im too annoying too quiet or too distant or too clingy or if they just dont ficking want to hang out with m#i dont know wjat im doing wrong and i dont know if i ever will#i just want to not be a fucking peripheral for fucking once#i just want someone to reach out to me first i want to stop constnalty being the one to try and organize something and getting turned down#and not knowing if its ACTUALLY because they were legit just busy r nows a bad time or if they just dont want to hurt my feelings#i dont know how to tell but s#well. idk maybe if they never fucking try to organize anything i should just tak e the hint
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butt-puncher · 1 month
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I wish that I was more
#sad hours at the huskin bee#personal#graduating soon and the animation department is collecting photos of everyone in the drive#and seeing all these group photos of everyone in the program makes me realize how distant i am from them#and how close knit everyone else has become...#ive never been good at making friends and within like the first few weeks of school it was like everyone got to know each other#and the few friends i made in the program left after the first year#i wish my social anxiety wasnt so bad i tried harder to make friends in college#also i have an essay due on monday and i might just not do it#or itll be really half assed#ive been doing well so far in that class so if i dont do it i think the least id get is a C#idk maybe i can still make friends w these ppl after college somehow but itd still feel weird bc i had a completely different shm experience#than they had#ahhhh#i can imagine a future reunion where ppl will talk to be about old drama that was big among this giant friend group#that consists of most people in my year that ill have no idea what theyre talking abt#bc im never in the loop abt anything ever lol#this actually happened at my hs animation reunion except i actually knew and talked to most ppl in that class#i wasnt like super close to most of them but i had a few closeish friends#and i know one of those friends probably werent/arent in the know#also like i did hear abt relationship drama back in the day bc gossip spread p easily#anyways i was told completely new information abt someone getting stalked back then so thats wild#and apparently there was a super handsome guy in our class that i for some reason have zero recollection of#point is i be the last person to know something and if i know smth then everyone probably already knew#which is annoying. i wanna hear gossip too. even in my own family my sisters will tell each other and our mom about shit that went down w#their friends or our cousins and i only hear abt it when im in the room#so i end up hearing a lot but never directly and sometimes not in full#man i shouldve gone on more college field trips#shouldve done a lot more in life that my insecurities get the way of#tbh i genuinely think i might have a form of undiagnosed anxiety; tism; or some other mental disorder
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dyketennant · 4 months
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idk i think i should start masking again 🤠 (i mean the autism i already wear a face mask)
#vent#personal#dont mind me using the tags as a diary for a bit. i have a real diary but my carpal tunnel is not agreeing with writing with a pen rn#blah blah blah val's interests are annoying and weird. and it's all they really know how to talk about#because they are so busy constantly with two jobs + full-time uni + side gigs + life in general#that they cannot function without their Little Things and because of that all their interpersonal relationships suffer#yknow how it is#ive always been one of those people who talks a lot in class#especially since getting to college because now i really care and am excited about what we're discussing#(plus talking about it/engaging helps keep me awake and stimulated otherwise i'll go to the seventh circle of hell)#but i feel like especially recently but just in general. i just always say dumb shit. and maybe it's worse now bc my paranoia is spiking#bc of that class with my ex i have twice a week and i know they're probably judging what i say and making fun of me to their new friends#while i have to spend an hour and fifteen minutes trying not to look at the other side of the room and turning up music when they speak#i used to be better at socially masking bc high school was hell but then covid happened and it all went down the drain#and then my life got Worse and now it's like. sorry im annoying and bad at talking i know i am. i am also trying to not be like that#idk i think im just so spread thin that everything i ever do im doing poorly bc i just Cant. and im in pain constantly#and always running late or rushing or stressed or busy. like i haven't been not-stressed since. i dont even know. maybe when i was sick?#and even then i was stressed because Oh Fuck I Have Covid. yknow#wow my therapist is going to have an interesting day tomorrow it seems
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mrfoox · 1 year
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Wtf is my fascination with this little freak.... Hes just a dude but I'm so intrigued, I'm tired
#miranda talking shit#Its been two years but i still dont understand him so im guessing thats why#Tbf we didnt become closer until a year ago or something so yeah. But since day one i just felt like it was something with him and now im#Frustrated. Hes literally just a dude. Yet my brain find him so fascinating. I know i in general am very interested in people i like#But this guy man... I think it might be because i can understand him and thus cant predict him? My brain does love a mystery.#I mean i had an fairly intense period of 3-6 months where i was super fascinated by fabian. I still kinda am but now i think#I understand how he works over all so i do not feel the intense need to ask him all kinds of things and analyze? Bc now i have an decent#Idea of how he works. Meanwhile this little freak is almost the opposite of me in everything and i just want to study him. I think in a way#He reminds me of myself at least in the way of 'dealing' with mental problems etc. Or rather my past self. So i want to challenge him to do#It differently. I dont think i have an savior conplex or something when it comes to him bc i do basically not... Tell him to change?#I dont think i could change him. So thats not what my fascination comes from... But holy shit i just want to talk with him about everything#Also probably why i like him that he will answer any questions i ask. No topic has been bad or too weird and i appriciate that in others#But nah. Never been this intrested in someone whos this diffrent than me ever. I always need to have something major in common for a strong#Intrest. But here its like... We are both introverts ... And both social actors/pretenders... Otherwise our similarities are pretty small#I really wish i knew exactly why my brain is so intrested in him . I think its my hyperfixation being activated unfortunately.#Technically he have a lot of things/traits i dont like? But still i dont find him annoying or something?#Many things i dont agree or have the same opinion as him on. But i just find it refreshing ? Maybe its bc i basically havent known anyone#Like him. Hes not the type of person i attract or even put my time into i think. That's why ive told him we'd not be friends if we didn't#Meet this way. I would probably not have wanted to talk to him and i cant see him wanting to talk to me. Especially if we met when younger#No way teen Miranda would not go near him iajdjfjskskd id like to discuss this with him but im scared to scare him and scared to learn#Something bad or him not caring for me or something. I know he doesnt care about many things so id not be suprised but#Fuck this guy. I wamt to obsess over a video game instead where there are wikis to read /:
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zeldasnotes · 4 months
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𝖘𝖞𝖓𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖗𝖞 𝖓𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖘 𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖗𝖊𝖊
𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝖔𝖓𝖊
𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝖙𝖜𝖔
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Destinn(6583) conjunct Moon: You can feel it at the first meeting that you were destined to meet. Love this aspect.
Moon conjunct Venus: I had this with a friend I met in high school. Her Venus conjunct my Moon and she was like conditioner to my soul. She made me feel so loved & we were always sickeningly sweet to eachother and complimenting eachother.
Mercury 12th house synastry: I looked up the charts of the two guys in my neighbourhood who used to snitch about me to my dad. Told my dad any rumour about me & what guys Ive been involved with etc. Both of them have their Mercury in my 12th house.💀
Chiron conjunct Personal Planets: This is common between people who have had beef for years because the wound just wont go away even tho from the beginning the beef started over something small and you want to hurt the other just as bad as they hurt you. And you think you are the only one whos hurt so you keep picking on eachother. Just hearing the others name can be triggering. Chiron can be so healing but also so incredibly painful. ❤️‍🩹
Composite Aries Rising: This can make the dislike or tension very obvious to others. My dad and stepmom have this and everyone knows they treat eachother badly. The first thing you notice it the tension between them. I have this with a few people who i know dislike me and i them and people notice it instantly.
Saturn in the composite chart: Saturn seems to act like glue in the composite since it rules time. It can make you stuck on someone either positively or negatively based on the rest of the chart.
Venus 8th house: Venus is fascinated by 8th house persons appearance even if house person is not their type. They might find the house person super sexy & mysterious.
8th house synastry: I love 8th house synastry but whats so sad is that one of you will transform by this relationship and after a while you are not the same people you were before. There is a risk of just being a ”lesson” in eachothers life. But when its meant to last its wonderful.
8th house synastry: Another thing I find annoying with 8th house synastry is when I can tell someone doesnt like me but still is allll up in my face bc they have planets in my 8th house and therefore have some kind of weird obsession/fascination going on.
Ascendant Square Ascendant: Me and my dad have this in synastry and we just dont get eachothers behoviour. Like WHY are you behaving like that?
Dislike for no reason: I dont really believe in ”dislike for no reason” because I think there is always something behind disliking someone otherwise you need serious help but everytime someone disliked me for seemingly no reason there was harsh Mars Squares involved or 12th house synastry. Especially their Mars Squaring or Opposite my Sun or Moon.
Different energies & misunderstandings: Me and my dad have good synastry but he is very fire dominant and Im very water dominant. He sees my need for alone time and shyness as something unattractive. For him people are supposed to be brave, confident, social and loud otherwise you are insecure and weird. For me I find quiet confidence attractive but he sees it as not having confidence at all.
Venus conjunct Pluto: This is someone I used to go to yoga with. She was much older than me. The first time I saw her I was like WOW, thats the hottest women Ive ever seen. My Pluto was conjunct her Venus.
Venus conjunct Nemesis(128): Seen this in the synastry chart between two bestfriends where the nemesis person were secretly messing around with the Venus person boyfriend. She was an enemy(nemesis) when it came to love(venus).
Composite Sun conjunct Pluto: Intense! I have this with the woman I had the most dirty beef with for years. But I also have it with some guy I had a very beautiful and intense bond with.
Lilith conjunct Mars: Lilith would fight anyone for the Mars person.
Moon 5th house: Ive seen this very often lead to the Moon person idealizing the 5th house person a lot.
4th house synastry/composite: This can mean you enjoy a very ”down to earth” life together. I know some people with this who just like to do gardening, cooking, decorating the home and stuff like that together. They dont feel a strong need to go out and do stuff to enjoy eachothers company. 👨‍👩‍👦🪴
Lilith 10th house: Can make Lilith person threathened by house persons social status/reputation/image. Powerstruggles. Recognizing eachothers social climbing ways. Attracted to 10th house persons image.
10th house synastry/composite: 10th house synastry can make yall enjoy to go out a lot or show eachother off. Might really like to be seen together/make eachother look good.
Vertex conjunct Personal Planets: You WILL meet. Avoid eachother all you want you will keep running into eachother. Ive ran into people I had this synastry with time and time again until we talked. When we finally talked to eachother or had some kind of relationship that later ended we stopped running into eachother.
Mars 8th house: This synastry overlay feels like the universe is trying to force yall to do it but at the same time there is always a reason why you cant.
Top 5 ”I cant resist you” placements: Ive noticed Mars 8th house, Moon 8th house, Venus conjunct Pluto, Lilith conjunct Moon & Nessus conjunct Ascendant to be the top 5 placements that makes it almost impossible to resist eachother. (According to me)
Chiron conjunct Mars: Doing it with eachother leaves you feeling like you just had a theraphy session. Healing and raw.
Mars 3rd house synastry: This can lead to the Mars person gossiping a lot about the house person. This can be very annoying for the house person because the Mars person just wont stop talking about them.
Mars 3rd house: The positive part of this synastry overlay is that you find eachothers voice super hot. Can lead to some hot conversations on the phone 😏🔥
Venus 10th house composite: I have this with a guy and let me tell you we look GOOD together. We like the same colors so we always match, we have a similar style, similar height, similar way of behaving in public. People with this in the composite seem to often resemble eachother in some way.
Composite Moon conjunct Venus: Enjoying every second with eachother.🥹❤️‍🔥
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be-good-to-bugs · 2 years
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I wish hatsune miku was real
#the bin#i wish 8 cpuld make the people around me understand how important she is to me and how many songs are important to me#but i feel like im just annoying them by talking about her all the time#i feel like that about all my interests though#i let people talk about what they like so why do i always feel like im bothering them when i tell them about what i like#i guess it doesnt help that my only friend doesnt share any of my main interests#we like watching the same type of youtube videos and like some if the same music and that it#:/ idk how im supposed to meet people at all let alone people who might have interests in common with me#i just wanna show someone my favorite miku songs and talk about how good they are but i dont wanna seem annoying or weird#she ysed to like vocaloid when she was younger and she is who first introduced me to it but she diesnt like it anymore and hasn't for years#she still remembers a lot of them and some songs but almost none if them are the songs i like#and she mainly listened to english covers done by humans cause ahe doesnt listen to music thats not in english#while as.almost everything i listen to is in japanese and the human covers of songs are usually in russian#i wake up everyday and wanna gush about hatsune miku and theres nobody for me to gush to#i just want someone to be happy for me when i talk about loving something even if they dont like it themselves#but i just feel like theyre tolerating me#personal#i always feel bad for posting more personal stuff on this blog but like. if someone who follows me doesnt wanna see it then they can just#not read it. its almost always in the tags so just dont read them? and i also tag them as personal so just block the tag#anyway
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walpu · 2 months
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walp walp hear me out
remember that trailblazer scene with firefly and how she just just gets stabby stabbed by the creature (memory zone meme i think)
and + Aventurine having access to the 'real' dreamscape, combine that with bodyguard! reader who will go through hell and back to make sure Aventurine will. Live.
reader follows aven during the entirety of the Penacony quest, including when Black Swan teleports the both of them to the real memory zone. (also, does anyone else feel like bodyguard! reader and Trailblazer would be besties... no, just me?)
now, keep in mind, Aven and reader have a... complicated bond. IPC workers here and there say their dating, the Trailblazer has straightup asked if they would just get a room (you get their vibe, you can go along with the secret assassin! bodyguard! reader req i sent in)
a little bit more insight on their dynamic (again, going with the assassin reader thing, its already known between the two atp, so this can be set after that period), Aven wants to love reader, wants to hold them close, and wants their affection, but dammit, he just cant bring himself to. Not when he's sure he'll just hurt everyone that comes close to him (his sister, cough cough)
and reader has the same mindset, they love Aven, as a boss, as that annoying but endearing friend, and perhaps as more. But they have blood, the lives of people that they've unlawfully taken, not to mention, they are 100% sure Aven would never love a person who killed just for monetary income.
now, here's where the real show starts. There's also another assassin (seriously, Duke Inferno should save his manpower) following reader and Aven. Safe to say, only one is making it out alive. How the assassin followed the two of them? No fucking clue, but somehow it does.
After i assume beating the living shit out of hordes of memory zone monsters, the assassin appears, and just when Aventurine's unsuspecting?? Boom, goes in for the kill.
Yeah, too bad. Aven's not dying. But reader is! Yeah, in a act of (cliche) protection, reader allowed themselves to be the one to suffer from the attack. (Bonus if they get decapitated, or just stabbed like how Trailblazer was by Cocolia). Aven will never forget the way that he just- watched reader's body fall, the light just gone from their eyes.
Anyways, he doesn't even get to hold their body. You just- poof into bubbles like Firefly did. The last thing he has left of his beloved bodyguard? Just a simple red earring, matching the one he wore. Nothing left.
Okay, im also going to cope here that the whole shitshow with Aven and Acheron did not happen, he returns to the room that reader had, and he just... stands there. He takes in the way that half of the room was messy, half of it was untouched. So much like them, unpredictable and just had a touch of the weirdness he loved so damn much.
(Bonus if you want a happy scenario, reader's alive and well, afterall, dying in the dreamscape doesn't kill anyone. Reader is probably smiling very awkwardly while they stare at a teary eyed Aventurine, then they make out /hj)
yay another rant, i had this idea for days, the decapitation part may or may not have been plaguing me (should i be concerned), anyways, thanks for listening to my word vomit, stay safe and stay healthy <33
feel like falling on my knees and begging to forgive me for taking so long this spring doesn't let me breath istg. I've got this request before 2.1 and only got to it now that's why Aven is ghosting me.
bodyguard!reader "dying" in the dreamscape to protect Aventurine
sort of a sequel to this but can be read as a separate work as well, the main thing you need to know is that reader was originally an assassin sent by Duke Inferno but they've changed their mind and stayed by Aven's side
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notes - gn!reader, angst, unestablished relationship, no beta
You both knew the trip to Penacony would be difficult. You, in particular, knew that something big and very sinister is coming, judging by the way Aventurine danced around the subject, not giving you full information.
You may not know all the details of Aventurine's plan but you know him well enough to realize that he's planning on doing something extremely reckless and dangerous.
So you do your best to protect him. To shiels him from any possible danger, to keep him within your reach.
Of course Aventirune notices. How can he not notice when he already keeps his eye on you most of the time anyway. And just as you're trying to look out for him, he wants to looks out for you.
This mission already could be considered suicidal and he doesn't want you to be caught in this. Better to keep you in the dark, away from it.
Yet he can't help but selfishly enjoy your attention, your tenderness. You go out of your ways to make sure he's fine and he feels so undeserving of it. How can you be so kind when he's keeping so much from you?
You've seen him at his worst and you've stayed. You've proven so many times that you care for him not because it's just your job, not because of his money or status but because it's him.
He still struggles to believe in it sometimes. When he feels doubtful , he rubs his cheek against your shoulder in a playful cat-like manner and watches your reaction. Amusement you're trying to hide. Adoration you can't hide.
How can he doubt you? You're the one who should be doubting him.
He wants to melt into you, to be even closer than the two of you already are, but how can he love you without putting you in danger? Without draining your luck, without cursing you?
Sometimes he sees the same struggles in your eyes. When you carefully trace his face with the tips of your gloved fingers, your gaze sometimes lowers and you pull your hand away, as if you're ashamed.
But of what, of what? The blood on your hands? He has it too!
He wants to tell you this, to hold you tight, to never ever let go. The wish is so primal that everyone else can see. The memokeeper giving him a knowing smile as soon as she sees you two together, the masked fool taunting him about the only one willing to listen to him being his loyal dog ("though, judging by the way you look at them, little peacock, you're the one on the leash here~" she says. It feels like even a lower blow than the comments about his past. At least he expected those, but being taunted about his obvious feelings for is new), mx. Stellaron asking you two to get a room with a deadpun expression.
The worst one is the doctor though. Asking Aventurine to focus on the mission, then, in a softer tone, suggesting to tell you more about the plan. "It's foolish to keep it from your most trusted person, gambler. In the end, it may hurt them even more than your obsessive concerns".
If Ratio of all people gives you relationship advice you're doing soooo bad.
Yet Aventurine can't bring himself to listen to his words. He wants you safe and well, and he's sure (he's not sure) he's doing the right thing.
And yet he's wrong. He can't shield you, he can't. One of the richest people in the IPC, one of the Ten Stonehearts, the blessed one, yet he can't protect the one he loves no matter how much he tries. He's cursed, doomed, isn't he?
Damned Duke Inferno. He's dead, annihilated, and yet, somehow, one of his wretched dogs, his sneaky little assassin, finds you two in the depths of the memory zone. Such dedication to the cause!
There are two gunshots. Inferno's little rat and you strike at the same time. Them, aiming at Aventurine, and you, aiming at them. Only one bullet reaches it's target though.
It all happens so fast. You react immediately, covering Aventurine with your body. You move instinctively at the same second you shoot.
When their bullet hits you, you don't even feel it. Maybe because it's still a dreamland? The pain just won't come even though your back feels like it's on fire. You don't understand it yet but your body already starts disappearing.
All you can focus on is Aventurine's wide shocked eyes. His beautiful, beautiful eyes.
You smile weakly at him. That's all he can see before you're gone. He doesn't even have time to reach out to you, to hold you. As if he ever had the privilege of holding his loved ones in their final moments.
You just poof into the blue bubbles.
He rushes into the real world, in your room, praying to any deity that may here for you to be alive and well. It was a dream, not a real world. You can't die in a dream, not really. You weren't even killed by the memory zone meme, surely you're fine!
Yet you're not. You're not here, not anywhere in the hotel. You're truly gone.
He feels everything and nothing at the same time.
Of course, of course, of course he wasn't able to protect you!
How lucky he is, he has avoided death once again! His beloved died to protect him but he has survived! He's so blessed, truly, so blessed!
He finds himself on his knees, on the verge of hysterical laughter. The only thing you left behind is a small red earring he has gifted. And he clatches it so tightly his hand bleeds. Perhaps the pain is the only thing keeping him sane at this moment.
It feels like a cruel joke. It doesn't feel real, it shouldn't be real.
Wait... That's it! It isn't real. It's impossible to die in a dream! It was his theory all along, after all. It must be true. You just can't be dead, you can't, not you too.
His plan hasn't changed, he tells Ratio when he comes to check on Aventurine. He just needs to reach the real Penacony. To reach it and to find you there. You're strong and brave and so wonderful. You're out there somewhere, he just needs to help you to get back to the real world.
He holds into that idea like a madman. It doesn't matter how dangerous it is. It never did, to be honest. But now it's like he can't focus on anything else.
He hasn't feel so despaired in years. He just needs to find you, everything else is meaningless.
So when it's time for the final act, he gets on stage, fears not and doesn't look back.
He still holds his hand behind his back though. Clutching your earrings for dear life.
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ASTROLOGY OBSERVATIONS PT.2!!
!!my opinion based on the people who’ve I interacted with and also just very random!!
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🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑🌒🌓🌔🌔
If a Cardinal stellium loves you they will care for you and help you in all ways they can, because how much of a passionate person they are.
Aries moon = longing for a relationship
Water sun + sag moon = being annoying and sometimes stuck in a bad mood.
If a person has no earth placements, best believe they can’t drive good 😭 but isa okay bc HOT GIRLS = CANT DRIVEE
Aries moons never stop talking, like even if no one is responding they will still talk and talk, but on the side note they’re very entertaining ♥️
Libra moons being big softies (ARIES TOO FOR THE PEOPLE THEY CARE ABOUT) and not taking their own advice.
Gemini placements love the occult.
Gemini moon and/or gemini mars give me paranormal and ghost hunting vibes.
Leo venues and the toxic urge to crush on a bunch of random people for random reasons.
Fire placements are great manifestors.
Gemini placements are so HAWT god, like honestly why don’t more people talk about it.
Capicorns moons are so loyal in relationships.
Aries moon with a leo venus and sag mars, is such a affectionate reactive loud lover, they’re so cute until they aren’t 😭
Honestly anything with a leo venus and sag mars, gives so such cute and hyper vibes!
Leo placements when you get something they want -> 😾
Gemini & Aquarius moons and their weird but curious fascinations with dr00gs sometimes.
Scorpio rising with libra placements have the tendencies to go back to their exs 😭 IM SORRRYY
Scorpio placements do be just out here drawing.
Aries rising and having a strong sense of justice, when something isn’t right they have to voice that.
Gemini moons can come off as fake off first impressions but they’re really not, they may just trying to figure what energy your on so they can match that, or you just caught em at a bad time.
Scorpio risings all have the same look or presence 👁👁🕴🏾
When people say Leo mercuries are dramatic when they talk, they’re not lying, Im a leo mercury and when people said that I thought that was totally bullshit, UNTIL I saw a fucking video of myself talking from another person’s perspective.
I’ve seen so many Capricorns and pisces pairings.
Libra placements don’t like looking or acting messy especially in front of other people.
Virgo moons scare me so bad like I want to understand how you think bc i just can’t fathom. I know you have secrets, but I just can’t tell exactly what they are 🙁
Scorpio moons idea of humor is being meanly sarcastic to others, or just saying funny insults.
When I think of sag placements I think of comfort/comfortability, whether that’s the way they like to dress, or what they like in a person, or how people feel when they’re around them.
Aries north node = saying random monologue or outbursts and no one responding or doing anything because it’s normal.
Libra moons have hella friends, or just get along with a lot of people.
Scorpio placements = tsundare
Leos love boys, specifically leo mars.
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despairots · 5 months
Note
uhmuhm! can i be smile anon!!
i have a silly request, you dont have to write if you aren't taking requests but like,, gojou with like some kind of makima vessel reader
like how they would get along and stuff ^_^
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#BITE ME, g. satoru!
you weren’t known by gojo until you were introduced. surprisingly enough, he wasn’t the only one with charming eyes (and terrifying powers).
content warning: swearing, r! has makima’s abilities and eyes but they don’t necessarily look like her, gender neutral! reader, r! wears a white button up with a black tie, a black blazer hung around their shoulders, black dress pants and a bandage wrapped around their neck (honestly like 15! dazai), etc.
authors note: u absolutely can!!! <3 my requests arent open but i really liked this request :3 im sorry if this is bad or not exactly what u want but i tried :( and so sorry this is late!!
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knowingly enough, gojo satoru was known to be charmed and blessed with eyes that most people swoon for ever since he was a child. not only blessed with charming eyes but finally born with both limitless and six eyes, the first one in 500 years.
because of that, he was spoiled rotten (how horrible!) but no one can deny that he didn’t deserve it. after all, after 500 years of the gojo clan producing, they finally got a kid who changed the balance of the world.
after he turned the rip age of 28, he noticed a person always wake by his classroom with a man beside them. the one thing that caught his attention, was the energy they gave off.
not once did he notice the eyes that pierced through his black blindfolds.
the first time he was formally introduced to them, was that one time where nobara was introduced to megumi and yuuji. he didn’t notice it as first but he realized you were the person walking pass his classroom all the time.
time for the friendship headcanons!
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at first, gojo’s first impression of you, was how calm and collected your composure was with some joking antics here and there. you were mostly there just in case gojo wasn’t able to be there with them.
in general, gojo thought you were trying to compete with him because of how you came close to strongest sorcerer (selfish).
i don’t have a grasp understanding of how you two became friends, actually… i don’t think you would necessarily be friends, more like people who trust eachother, have eachothers back and holding respect for each but at the same time, you two don’t trust eachother.
it’s a weird friendship, though, sometimes you two got along, talking and joking around. the next thing you know, you two are ignoring eachother like you never even knew the other.
the concept of friends didn’t scream anything to you, friends didn’t come close to you with how you picture him. in shorter terms, you saw most people like pawns, a means to your plans. gojo was just there.
most of the times, he annoyed you a lot, you could see the way nanami didn’t want to step an inch to gojo (considering how he’s younger than gojo, yet looks older then him. how odd?).
despite everything you two go through as teachers and partners, there are no growth in your “friendship”, as both of your students call it. it’s not what you’re expecting but from the beginning, gojo has had an off feeling about you.
the first time gojo witnessed your technique, was during the shibuya arc; where he massacred a bunch of transfigured humans. you were there helping him, after all, what type of person would you be?
as i said, even though you’re not necessarily friends, you two still have eachothers back.
development!
when time passes, there was a feeling in your stomach whenever you would hang around with gojo, that shoko would explain to you as ‘fondness’.
he was starting to look more like a friend than just a pawn, a nauseous (that didn’t change actually). though, he doesn’t automatically get a pass because the two of you started to call eachother actually friends.
the trio saw the way you two were always with eachother, technically glued to eachothers side and always being there for the other.
gojo, still ever being hungover his ex, saw just a glimpse of him in you, that was partially the reason why he grew closer to you but at the same time, he grew worried that something might happen to you.
without a doubt, even though he’s a complete cocky, egotistical, idiot of a man, his one weakness is his big heart. that’s the first thing you noticed about him. it wasn’t his looks, his energy, or how he was the strongest, it was his big heart that he so desperately tried to hide away.
there’s development to both parties.
you, started to think of him like an actual friend, someone you cared about, and no doubt about it, someone you would sulk over if he ever disappeared.
gojo, who— praying to the lord— for once, will try to get over his ex when he’s with you, there’s something about you that makes everything that’s happening disappear, he needs comfort, you provide that to him.
relationship!
oh boy. why would you ever date him?
how did you even start dating him?
yet again, i don’t have a grasp understanding on how the dating started but i could give a brief explanation of how the feelings developed from there on.
the fondness you get from being around him developed into something where, if he ever got hurt or someone said something to him, you would go ballistic.
he’s someone you genuinely started to cherish and for someone to say or do anything to him would send you to a toxic state. it’ll have him a lot of time to convince you not to harm this person or curse.
eventually, the feelings than letter on developed into, again, what shoko would explain to you, as love. you had rejected the idea of love for ages because you thought you weren’t able to ever feel it. gojo proved that wrong.
gojo’s a nauseous to be around, but knowing him for quite some time made him into a pleasing nauseous. gojo started to pick up that your starting to enjoy bringing around him that he started to tease you about it.
you wouldn’t lie and say the teasing was annoying, it was but it wasn’t the same annoying as before.
when gojo started to fall for you, he quickly tried to bury it before it got out of hand. remember that breakup scene at the kfc? yeah… he doesn’t want that again. let alone fall in love again.
he already lost geto, he can’t lose you. everything he’s ever loved and didn’t want to lose, is lost the moment he gains it.
though, he’d drop signs, massive signs or just small signs, they’re there. even though of what i just said, he’s whipped for you. so down horrendous, my lord.
when you two do get in a relationship, gojo’s touch starved and it shows. he needs to have some sort of contact with you or he’ll sulk in a corner. for a matter of fact, if he doesn’t get atleast 5 kisses each day, he’ll ignore you out of spite until you do kiss him. that’s when he gives you a kiss attack.
i won’t go deep into the intimate details, you can dream about those yourself but i will say, he’s fucking crazy in there (and so are you!)
you’re absolutely spoiled by him, he loves you so why not just give you everything. regardless of that, he knows both of you don’t have enough time, so he tries to make it count by making you happy.
he loves the sparkle in your eye when he surprises you with gifts you adore.
the same goes for you, knowing he’s touch starved, you try and shower him in affection as much as you can before the two of you depart on missions that don’t involve you two partnering up.
knowingly enough, pda is a must in the relationship. though, gojo will stop if you don’t like it, he’s a dick but he’s a good dick (no pun intended).
even though, there’s not enough time and both of your lives are on the line since you’re jujutsu sorcerers, you’re both grateful you had enough time to confess.
oh, and gojo swoons over you, annoying megumi when you’re not there.
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lovecoree · 5 days
Text
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SATIVIA. L. HEESEUNG !
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pairing: idol!heesung x blackfem!reader
synopsis: a trip to a beach villa leads you and Heeseung to express y’all true feelings for each other.
warning: smut! mdni , smut tags under cut! , enemies to lovers trope , arguing , drinking , fluff , angst , reader is kinda mean ( but so is heesung ) , Heeseung is down bad for reader , reader is black coded , reader uses she/her prns !
smut tags: unprotected sex ( don’t do this ) , oral ( f receiving ) , heesung gets caught masturbating , heesung has a breeding kink ( sorry not sorry ) , degrading , pet names ( princess & baby ) , pussydrunk!heesung , kissing , marking , after care !
requested by: @penny44224
a/n: omg this only took long because my phone has been acting up lately, i finally got it fix yesterday so i was able to finish the rest of it today and yesterday. This is the longest oneshot I’ve ever done so i hope it’s ok. I barely proof read this 😭 so any misspelling or mistakes, im truly sorry !!! 🩷
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You found it frustrating that you had a crush on Heeseung.
Normally when a person have a crush they feel shy or nervous around the person they like or just flirt to see if they could become more than just a crush, that was the opposite for you. Why have a crush on him if you’re clearly annoyed about it.
It’s fairly simple, you simply think you’re not good enough to date someone like Heeseung due to the fact that he is an idol and have little experience with love or dating in general. The longest relationship you had lasted two months, would’ve been three if the guy you dated wasn’t such an ass.
You tend to overthink things, Heeseung is a very attractive person with a good personality, he would never see you in a different light. You told this to yourself every day and every night, leaving you to feel bitter and so that bitter behavior passed on to you being kinda mean towards Heesung. Especially during the whole trip at the beach villa.
And poor Heeseung couldn’t understand why, but that doesn’t mean he’s not going to give the same energy back.
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Heeseung couldn’t help but make subtle glances your way, watching as you interact with your two best friends Jurin and Harvey or playing fun games with his band mates. God you look beautiful, the outfit you wore all day from going out made Heesung loose his focus. He simply wanted to be close to you, but the way you’ve been trying to avoid him like the plague bothered him.
“We’re heading out later to eat, you coming right?” Sunghoon walked up to Heeseung aware to the fact that his friend was focusing on you and how you laughed and smiled so beautifully, but not at him tho? All he get is an irritated face from you and mean comments. “Ridiculous,” Heesung said shaking his head, “huh?” Sunghoon looked at Heesung confused causing Heesung to blink a few times as he finally looked at Sunghoon.
“Huh? Sorry you said something?” Heesung scratched the back of his neck watching as Sunghoon looked at him weird. “I asked are you joining us to go out to eat later tonight.” Heesung was quick to shrug his shoulders, he honestly didn’t feel like going out because you’ve been stressing this man out this whole trip and needed alone time with his thoughts. “I might or might not, don’t wait up if I’m not out my room when yall are ready.” Sunghoon nodded his head, keeping that in mind.
“Oh by the way, stop staring…you look like a creep.” Sunghoon joked watching as Heesung eyes went wide causing Sunghoon to laugh before walking over to the rest.
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It was currently 9:20 at night and your friends were getting ready to go out. After taking a shower and doing your skin care routine, instead of dressing up to go out you put on a regular tank top and shorts to sleep in. You told Jurin and Harvey you were staying in tonight, not feeling like going out and just be alone since you had a lot on your mind. Relaxing while watching tv sounds good right about now.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” Jurin asked putting on lipgloss before checking her makeup for any flaws, Harvey was doing the same. “Yea, I’m too tired to go anywhere to be honest.” You plopped on the bed, searching for your phone amongst the covers to scroll on Instagram.
You could hear Harvey sigh as she glanced your way. “Is it because of Heesung?” One thing about Harvey she could read you like an open book, she knew you like Heesung since day one. You rolled your eyes finally finding your phone under the covers. “No I’m not staying back because of him.” You partially lied. Yes you were staying back because of him, but you also wanted to relax and distract yourself by watching your favorite movie.
Harvey squinted her eyes, not really believing you, but she let the topic died down at she looked over her outfit before standing up with Jurin. “I’ll send a picture of the menu so I could order you something and bring it back here when we come back.” Jurin smiled coming of to give you a hug. You smiled, excepting her hug. “Thank you, you’re the best.” You glanced over at Harvey who had a pout on her face, “I love you too Harvey.” You laugh as she immediately smiled coming over to give you a hug.
“Ok we’re gone, don’t forget to text me.” Jurin shouted making her way downstairs along with Harvey trailing behind her.
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Halfway through the movie you felt hungry, pausing your movie you got out of bed and put on your slippers before leaving the room, on the way down the hall you couldn’t help but hear rustling and faint noises coming from on of the rooms, which so happened to be Heesungs and Jake’s assigned room. You were confused because you thought everyone had left already, the door was slightly cracked open. You slowly peeked inside and was immediately shocked to see Heesung body was resting against the headboard of the bed as he masturbated.
You were about to gasp but you quickly covered your mouth, not letting a sound pass your lips. You blinked a couple of times, maybe your seeing things, but then again the way he was moaning while stroking himself sounded too real. It was like your body couldn’t move from your spot as you watched Heesung eyes go shut while resting his head back on the headboard, his long hands wrapped perfectly around his cock as he moaned, clearly unaware of your presence.
You felt like a pervert, but you slowly backed up to give him privacy and try to forget what you just witnessed. Before you could even fully turn your body around you heard Heesung deep voice moan once again. “Fuck y/n.” Your whole body freezes, did…did he just say your name. You couldn’t sworn you had whip lash as you look back to see Heesung moving his hand up and down even faster, feeling close to his release.
Heesung mouth went slack as he finally opened his eyes, looking down at his cock as he came, he quickly moved his shirt up reve his chiseled abs so it wouldn’t ruin his shirt. “Fuck.” Heesung hissed, calming down his breathing.
You almost stumbled back as Heesung finally acknowledged your presence, his eyes went wide before quickly tucking himself inside his sweatpants. Before you could even think about running back to your room, you felt him pull you into his room by your arm. “Let go” You yanked your arm back as Heesung got in your personal space, eyes glaring at you as his voice was laced with venom.
“The fuck is your problem!?” Your faced scrunched up as you pushed him back off of you to form some kind of space. “You ever heard of privacy?” You had no words to say, Heesung scoffed form your lack of response. “Explain your—
“I admit I was watching you, but why were you moaning my name.” You don’t let him finish his sentence, crossing your arms over your chest. Heesung was amazed on how you flipped the script on him.
Heesung ran his fingers through his hair before laughing. “Is something funny?” You looked at him irritated, Heesung shook his head feeling frustrated. What is he supposed to say, I was moaning your name while jerking off because I can’t stop thinking about you and like you. You would’ve looked at him crazy, he thought.
“I’m waiting..” Heesung swallowed the lump in his throat before replying simply with, “it was random, first name that popped up.” Heesung shrugged causing you to smack your teeth. “Stop lying.”
“Fuck, I don’t know what else to say!”
“The truth—”
“I like you! That’s the truth, I fucking like you!”
You felt your heartbeat increasing at his words. He watched you go silent and it was nerve wrecking for him. “Sorry forget I said—” “Since when did you start liking me?” You cut him off quickly feeling your mind racing with so many questions. “Since we first met at my concert backstage.” Heesung couldn’t even look you in the eyes anymore, he felt embarrassed that he shouted those words that could cause him rejection.
You couldn’t help but crack a smile, trying your best to muffle your laugh. Heesung took offense to that, “I’m glad you find my feelings for you funny.” He sarcastically said, ready for you to leave his room.
“I like you too, I’m just relieved that’s all.” You finally said watching Heesung face go from hurt to surprise. Heesung stepped closer towards you feeling confused. “Wait..you like me back? So why have you been an ass lately towards me.” You looked him in the eyes feeling nervous all of a sudden.
“Like I said it’s because I like you..” Heesung wasn’t quick to catch on and you can tell by the way his eyebrows furrowed waiting for you to continue. “…I thought I wouldn’t be your type, you’re an idol who could have any girl you want…and I’m just an ordinary girl with little dating experience.” You felt your voice suddenly grow small as tried to fight tears that welled up in your eyes.
“That’s why I was being mean to you..to try to get over my feelings for you.” Heesung felt his heart ache seeing the single tear that finally left your eye and grace your soft face. He moved closer to wipe it before lifting your head up to look at him.
“Stop crying, you’re too pretty to cry.” He softly said. “And stop thinking like that, the only person I want is you y/n. You don’t understand how much I like you, I could care less about any other girl in this world.” He smiled watching you try to look anywhere else but him, you weren’t use to receiving compliments especially from a guy you liked.
“You’re just saying that to be nice.” You tried to pull yourself together, but Heesung was quick to pull you right back to him. His arms wrapped around your waist as he practically stared into your soul. “I mean it seriously….in fact, I could prove it to you.”
You didn’t miss how his voice turned seductive as he smirked at you. You felt your stomach doing flips and body grow hot. “Prove it to me how?” He glanced down at your lips before looking back up at your brown eyes. “May I?” He whispered, feeling his face come closer towards yours, nodding your head yes like you were in a trance.
Crashing his lips on yours, you whimpered at the feeling. His lips felt soft as he cup your face to deepen the kiss. You place your hands in his hair, keeping up with his movements. A moan slipped past your lips causing Heesung to grin a little while kissing you. Coming back for air, Heesung was the first to break the kiss, smiling from seeing you try to chase his lips to kiss him more.
“Does that help you or do I need to prove myself even more?” Raising an eyebrow waiting for a response, whatever answer you give him he would kindly respect it. “I need you, please.” Heesung felt like he was in a fever dream, the way you begged just now had blood rushing straight to his cock.
“You don’t understand how sexy you sounded just now.” Heesung was quick to pick you up and carrying you to his bed, gently placing you it. You looked up at him with doe like eyes waiting for his next move. He gripped your ankle to pull you closer by the edge of the bed. “We can stop this now if you want?” He reassured you only for you to shake your head. “I want this, please.”
Heesung smiled before leaning down to kiss you again, but this time more rough. His hands moved down to your shorts and tapped your hip, signaling you to lift up a little. You lift up your body letting him pull down your shorts along with your soaked panties. He slowly slid his hand between your legs, “Fuck.” Your body jolted slightly from him using his fingers to rub your clit in circles slowly. Wasting no time, he got on his knees, prying your legs open for more room.
You felt your body melt in his touch. “You’re so wet.” He said already mesmerized, but it only made you feel shy, before you could even think about closing your legs he was quick to press a kiss on your clit before sucking on it harshly causing your jaw to go slack and eyes glancing down at him in surprise.
Heesung hummed, satisfied with the taste of you as he used his two fingers to spread your lips open. He released your clit with a loud pop sound before glancing at your exposed hole, more of your essence leaking causing Heesung to loose his mind. “Only I make you feel like this, huh?” Heesung glanced up at you seeing you trying to slow down your breathing.
“Answer me Princess.” He softly said, but stern. “Yes, only you Hee.” The cute pet name made Heesung smile before diving back in lapping at your pussy like a starved man who hasn’t eaten in days. Your moans filled the room as you rest your elbows behind you on the bed so you can sit up properly. His noses brushed your clit perfectly while he suck and lick on your folds. The pleasure was so intense he had to use both of his hands to keep your legs from closing, eyes shooting up to look at you to give you a warning.
You did your best to hold your legs open for him, feeling your mind go blank. “F-Feels so good.” You begged feeling your legs shake. Heesung licked up every drop you gave him, he hummed against your clit before backing away slightly. You whined at the sudden loss of his mouth. He only smirked before standing up and bending back down towards you to kiss you deeply. You moaned at the feeling of tasting yourself.
Heesung brung two fingers to your pussy, pushing them inside your hole before curling his fingers, going in and out in a fast pace. You broke away from the kiss moaning loudly, glancing up at him as your mouth went slack. All he did was watch you with lust filled eyes. “It’s too..fuck, it’s too much.” All Heesung did was nod his head not stopping until you cum on his fingers. “I know baby, and you can take it, hmm?” You felt your body shudder at his words.
Heesung placed his free hand beside you on the bed to keep his balance steady so he can lean down and kiss up on your neck, moving your head back to give him more room while you close your eyes. You felt close to your release as your legs threatened to close.
“Hee.” You cling tightly onto his shirt can’t find your voice, only blissful moans leaving your lips. “I know baby, cum for me.” Using the pad of his thumb to rub your clit and just like that you felt the knot in your stomach finally break.
The rest of your clothes were quick to be on the floor, Heesung climb on top of you as he placed soft kisses on your brown skin. The feeling of his body heat and him being this close felt like a dream. You tangled your hands in his hair, kissing him with so much love.
“You don’t understand how long I’ve waited for this.” Heesung confessed breaking away from the kiss, he leaned back as he took his cock in his hand pumping it a few times. You watched him intensely, loving the sight. “Hee please just fuck me already.” You felt embarrassed on how needy you were getting, and who can blame you it’s Heesung we’re talking about here. “Such a needy slut aren’t you.” Tapping his cock against your clit teasingly, “m’not sure you deserve it, the way you’ve been acting.” He grin hearing you whine.
“You wait until I’m needy to tease me.” You felt on the verge of tears, it was ridiculous. “Beg and I’ll give you the best fuck of your life.” Heesung said seriously always ready to fulfill his promises. And you believed him.
“Please Hee I need you to fuck me, I’m so sorry for the way I’ve acted— fuck, just please fuck me.” Quick to beg not caring how pathetic you sounded, you just needed him to fuck you and so he did. He smiled from ear to ear as he finally entered inside of you. Your jaw went slack as you felt every inch of him enter inside of you. “Breathe baby, Breathe.”
You didn’t even realize you was holding your breath until he said something, you felt him hit your sweet spot immediately once he finally pushed in all the way. “F-Fuck your so tight.” He needed to take his own advice because he was close to breaking his slow pace.
“Please Hee g-go faster.” You whined when you felt him grip your love handles before slipping out only leaving his tip inside you, “shouldn’t have said that baby.” Before you could even ask what he meant he, he slid inside you again in one quick motion, grip never faltering on your hips. “Fuck Heesung!”
Heesung watched as your mouth went slack and eyes rolled back, you let out the most prettiest moans he ever heard. He thought he was dreaming, but no it’s all real, you’re real. “You feel so good— shit, wrapped around me.” Heesung moaned feeling himself loose himself inside you.
His hips pounded into you even faster creating loud clapping noises in the room. He leaned down leaving kisses along your neck, leaving hickeys on your skin. You could hear him moaning against your neck causing you to grow weak, if he was in love with your moans you were surely obsessed with his.
Heesung couldn’t help it, you felt good wrapped perfectly around him. “Hee, s’too m-much.” You moved your hand down his abs, trying to slow down his movements causing him to move away from your neck to look at you with serious eyes. “Move your hand or on everything I love, I’ll stop.” The way you quickly moved your hand was hilarious, but you earned a kiss against your lips as a reward before he continue feeding you deep strokes.
He glanced down at the sight of his cock pumping inside of you, a thick layer of yours and his cum creating a ring at the base of his cock. Heesung has went slack at the sight, he couldn’t help but moan. “Fuuck you’re amazing baby.” He bit his lip feeling like he was on cloud nine.
“Perfectly made for me…only me.” He said watching as your back arched off the bed from intense pleasure, missionary is definitely Heesung’s favorite because you look so beautiful underneath him. “Hee, I’m so close.” You felt the same knot from before building up in your stomach.
“Me too.” Heesung voice came out small, mostly in a whine, he didn’t want this to end. “Fuck baby, need to cum inside you, please.” You found it so attractive how he was begging, “please, I’ll fill you up so nice and good baby.” Heesung pounded faster inside of you feeling himself tipping over the edge of his release.
How can you deny him when he looks like this and beg like that. His hair sticking to his forehead from the thin layer of sweat, eyes dazed by lust and tears, mouth going slack as he moaned, abs tightened from being close to cumming. He was perfect.
You were quick to shake your head, “please cum inside me, n-need all of you.” Heesung eyes rolled to the back of his head before he focused back on you, happy about your words. He moved his thumb to your clit, working expertly on your clit causing you to jolt a little from the attention on it.
“M’gonna give you every last drop, put a fucking baby inside you.” Heesung couldn’t help his words, too far gone and let his intrusive thoughts out. “You would like that huh? Just me and you knowing I filled you up perfectly with my cum.”
Your legs started to shake, his words and him fucking you was getting to your head. “Shit, I’m close.” You looked up at him with tearing eyes, nodding your head to agree, feeling the knot in your stomach ready to explode and he could tell.
He leaned down giving you a gentle kiss on the lips, “cum for me baby.” That’s all it took for you to cum around his cock, “Fuck!” Heesung gripped your hips helping you calm down from your orgasm. He felt his hips start to falter and abs tighten. You pulled him in by his neck kissing him, your soft lips on his was what tipped him over.
You felt him cum deep inside you causing you to moan inside the kiss. Heesung couldn’t help but whine form empty every drop inside of you, hips flushed against you as you held each other, feeling clingy.
You were the first to break away from the kiss only to see Heesung open his eyes slowly. You giggled before pecking his lips one last time. “That was— wow.” He Finally spoke up, smiling from ear to ear.
“I agree.” Heesung moved away from you completely, pulling out of you slowly. He hissed at the sight of his cum leaving your pussy and on to the bed. Heesung got up off the bed going to the bathroom to grab a warm towel to help clean you up.
You both sat in a comfortable silence as he helped you. “What does this makes us?” You whispered, breaking the silence. Heesung glanced up at you. “In a relationship, if that’s ok with you.” Heesung felt nervous again, but your smile made his heart flutter. “I like that idea.” Heesung smiled back, finished cleaning up he helped you up off the bed taking you to the bathroom to take a shower together.
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“Yo! Love birds time to wake up.” You could hear Jake knocking hard on the door, not wanting to walk in on anything. Heesung stirred in his sleep after feeling you lightly shake him so he could wake up. “Y’all better be out hear in five minutes or breakfast will be gone.” Jake left after that to go downstairs.
You glanced at Heesung to see him rubbing his eyes before stretching. He looked at you and gave you his cute signature smile, “good morning princess.” His sleepy voice made you feel butterflies. “Good morning.” You smiled back moving strands of his hair out his eyes.
“We need to get dress before Jake comes back up here and drag us out.” You laughed before climbing out of bed, Heesung whined not wanting to get up, but did so anyway.
Heesung came over to you giving you a kiss on the lips. “Can’t we just stay here.” He said pouting. “I would love to but after breakfast we got to pack and leave.” You said sadly, coming back to reality that both of you will be parting ways.
“Don’t say that, it’s hurting my heart already.” Heesung ran his fingers through his hair before walking towards his opened suitcase. “I know I know, but it’s the truth.” You sighed getting ready to walk out. “I’m going to go change.” Heesung hummed in response already finding a outfit to wear.
You did your whole morning routine before settling on a nice yet comfortable outfit to wear since you’re going to the airport after breakfast. You packed the rest of your clothes and items inside your suitcase and took it downstairs with you to place it by the doors where the rest of your friends suitcases lined up.
Walking into the kitchen you felt eyes starring at you. You realized after grabbing a plate that was next to the food. Slowly glancing up, your friends smiling at you or looking at you with the ‘anything you want to tell us’ look.
“What?”
Sunoo couldn’t help but laugh at your confused expression. Jurin and Harvey staring at you with shock written all over their faces. “I was curious on why you didn’t text me back last night, but after what Jake told us now I know why.” Jurin said coming closer to you.
“You were getting dick down.”
“Yah!”
“I’m trying to eat here.”
The guys all looked up from their plates in disgust by Jurin words only for her to wave her hand at them, dismissing their protest. “I thought y’all hated each other.” Jungwon said taking a sip of his water.
“Clearly not, they had the time of their lives last night.” Jay said shaking his head only for Sunoo to nudge his side before telling him to be quiet.
“I had to sleep on the floor in Ni-ki and Sunghoon.” Jake complained, “you could’ve slept on the couch.” Harvey said looking at Jake like he was slow.
Before jake could respond back, footsteps was heard coming into the kitchen. “Uh oh speaking of the devil himself.” Sunghoon said causing Ni-Ki to hold in his laugh. Heesung was dressed comfortably in a grey hoodie and grey sweatpants and wearing his black prescription glasses.
Heesung looked at everyone confused on why they was smiling at him, but he ignored them going straight to you, placing a kiss on your cheek before grabbing a plate as well going to the food. “Y’all knew this would eventually happen, let’s not act brand new.” Heesung said, placing bacon on his plate.
You tried your best not to smile, but you couldn’t help it. “We did, but I wasn’t expecting to come back and seeing y’all half nak—” Jungwon went over to Jake, stuffing his mouth with a piece of waffle to shut him up. “Just say you’re happy for them and eat your food.”
You giggled at Jake’s sour face before grabbing some food for yourself.
“All I got to say is, hurt my best friend I will fly to Korea and beat your ass.” Harvey said pointing her fork at Heesung. You looked at Jurin, signaling with your eyes to get Harvey. Jurin only shrugged her shoulder.
“I was going to say the same thing, she just said it in a nicer way.”
“Omg.”
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