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dyns33 · 10 months

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A Silly Dream

Another idiots in love with Morpheus and female reader.

"… What did you just say ?"

Sometimes Y/N forgot that Dream of the Endless wasn't human, and therefore didn't think like a human. He had great difficulty communicating and understanding that there were things he shouldn't say or do if he didn't want to hurt people.

The problem was that even when she remembered that, she also remembered that he was an old being, so normally experienced and wise, the prince of stories and words, who yet kept behaving like a selfish, spoiled child who never learned from his mistakes.

"I just said I couldn't stay long for our meeting."

"No, after that. And, what 'meeting' ? We didn't have an meeting, it was you who came to my place."

"As with Hob Gabling every hundred years, I meet with you once a year, for you to give me your impression of the new dreams and nightmares, and in exchange I let you read an unfinished book from my library. But I am very busy and it will be difficult for me to stay more than an hour today."

He was really telling her that for all this time, more than a hundred years, their relationship was not at all friendly, but hardly professional, a simple obligation, which annoyed him but that he had the kindness to fill in each time ? Oh, Y/N felt really honored at that moment.

"… You're a jerk."

"I beg your pardon ?" wondered Morpheus, visibly very offended.

"I said you're a jerk. It's because of the kiss, right ? It's your way of telling me that I shouldn't have, and that I'm very lucky that you keep coming to see me instead of punishing me ?"

"You know I have to come see you."

"You're a real jerk. Go away, since you're so busy."

His face still impassive, Morpheus stared at her for a long time, as if he still didn't know what he should do, before standing up without saying anything and leaving.

The kiss had been stupid, Y/N agreed to admit it.

It had happened two years ago now, when she had just finished her review of the last nightmare he had created, and Dream was trying to explain to her why she was wrong in her reasoning.

It could have happened much sooner, because her heart had been beating for him and only for him for decades already, but before that day, she had always known how to keep her feelings buried deep inside her.

But this time, without her being able to explain why, while she admired his eyes deep as the ocean, his skin pale as the moon, listening to his lulling voice, Y/N had not thought, and she had kissed him.

Dream of the endless went silent. He had looked at her as if she had just stabbed him, and of course he had left without listening to her excuses, not finishing his sentence, but leaving her a book, because he had only one word.

She had strange dreams after that, where she was in a labyrinth, then in a castle, then in corridors, and always she had the feeling that she was looking for something without really knowing what.

Sometimes she saw Dream, sometimes a cat, and she began to follow him, never being able to catch up with him.

The following year he came back, they didn't talk about what happened, and everything seemed to be back to normal.

It hurt to think that all of this was actually just an obligation for him. Y/N had met Hob several times. She knew that Morpheus was really bad with people, since it had taken him more than half a millennium to admit he had a friend, but she had also heard of his lovers, and so she knew that he was not incapable of feelings.

There had been the secret hope then that he liked her, at least a little. It was over now.

The next year, when he showed up on her doorstep with a book, Y/N wondered if he was more mean than stupid, or the other way around.

"I thought I told you to leave. I know you're terribly busy."

"The competition is indeed quite exhausting, but everyone else has given up for the day."

"Oh, you have a moment for me in your schedule ? Too kind. No, wait, we have a meeting, I forgot. Well, I'm busy. Goodbye."

"You do not want…"

"Bye." she repeated, closing the door in his face without taking the book.

It was the first time she hadn't taken the book. If he wanted to, Dream could have appeared in her apartment, or in her dreams, to scold her and throw the book at her, but he didn't.

Y/N didn't know if she was happy or disappointed.

Meanwhile, the bizarre dreams continued.

This time, she was in the gardens of his castle, in the Dreaming. She knew it, because she had already been there. It was because of this stuff that she felt she was more than an obligation.

There were a lot of people in the gardens, some looking human, some not, and they were all looking for something.

Tired, Y/N decided that this time she didn't feel like running, and she sat down on a bench. A wing sound told her that a little spy had decided to join her.

"They all look ridiculous, don't you think ?"

"I don't know who they are or what they do, but I guess."

"They participate in the competition, of course." Matthew said with a desperate tone. "It's been so long now, what's it been, four years ? Five ? I don't know. Some like you have a point, others are starting to despair a bit. I wish they all despair and stop. The boss is tired."

"… What do you mean by 'I have a point' ?"

"The rules are simple, one kiss, one point. Two kisses, two points. Three kisses, the hand of the Master of dreams. None of them asked for his consent, wicked ones. Neither do you, I'm a bit disappointed, young lady. You're the least bad, but still. He was hurt, that was not good manners."

"Matthew… Matthew, I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."

The raven looked at her like she was stupid. Then he realized she must be really stupid.

"No… That can't be true ! You two are really the same. Two idiots, you deserve each other ! Idiots ! He was hurt, but happy ! He was waiting for the other kisses during your little dates in the Waking !"

"You're talking about our more or less professional and obligatory meetings that he doesn't have time to go to ?"

"What ? What do you mean by… He said something stupid, right ? Of course he said something stupid. You do stupid things, he says stupid things, when you could just kiss. God damn it ! He was grumpy last year, and sad this year, because he thinks you don't want to compete anymore. But you don't know there's a competition ! And you don't want to see him anymore, not because you don't like him, but because you think he doesn't like you ! Boss ! Boss, you really kill me sometimes !"

Y/N woke up not sure if she had dreamed or not. Of course, she had dreamed, and all dreams were real, but she didn't know if she had talked to Matthew, or if she had dreamed that she was talking to Matthew, which was not the same thing.

In one case, she could continue to hope stupidly. In the other, she was just plain stupid.

She got her answer when she came home from work one evening and found Morpheus on her couch. He looked smaller and more fragile than usual. Tired, as his raven said.

"I thought we already had our meeting this year." she said taking out her jacket, not knowing what she should do, or what he was going to do.

"We didn't. You were busy."

"Ah, yes. That's right. Tea ?"

"No, thank you."

Usually things were very simple. They greeted each other, talked quickly about the past year, then Y/N talked about her dreams and nightmares, saying why she liked them or not.

This time, they said nothing, sitting next to each other. Of course, he had brought a book, placed between them. She didn't know if she should talk about those weird dreams.

It was a new surprise when he spoke first.

"You're near my sister's realm lately."

"Which one ?"

"Despair."

"Oh. How is she ?"

"What do you think ?"

"I don't know, you are not really dreamy yourself. I mean, you are, just when you are not talking. The talking you is a real nightmare. But I meant, how is she, as in is she alright ?"

"I must say that I don't know."

"You should call her to ask, she's your sister. Except if she's a bad sister. I guess it's not my business. How are you ?"

"You never kissed me again. Why ?"

He was back, the child with his big deep eyes, his innocent look and his dangerous words. How could he say such important things without the slightest hesitation ?

Y/N found the courage to meet his gaze after taking a deep breath.

"I don't know. Maybe because you have to come see me, and you clearly didn't like the first time I kissed you."

"I appreciated that. I would have fully appreciated it under other circumstances, but at that moment I thought you were acting like the others, in order to win the competition."

Matthew wasn't wrong, they were both a bit stupid, and mostly unlucky. All of this was mainly a problem of bad timing, and communication. If Y/N had acted sooner, and if Morpheus had known how to talk, there would never have been any problems.

"Following your entry into the competition, I am obliged to join you, in order to give you a chance to steal two more kisses from me, under the same conditions as the first. All the others who succeeded having it done in the Dreaming, I do not have to meet them elsewhere."

"… So you've been obliged for two years. But before too, since you impose one meeting per year."

"I told you, I'm very busy. I wanted to make sure I can see you at least once, as much as possible, so it seemed safer to set a specific date."

Damn, he was a jerk. A lovely jerk, a sweet idiot, a pleasant fool.

"And so… You want to kiss me ?"

"I'm not allowed to give kisses, you have to take them. It's the rule."

"I don't like that rule. I didn't kiss you for that, I should have asked your permission, and I'm not going to do it again, that's wrong."

"So you don't want to kiss me." he whispered, looking disappointed.

"I don't wish to force you. I won't steal another kiss."

"You could ask me."

"And would that change anything ?"

"I can't give kisses, but I can give you permission."

During their little conversation, Matthew had been very clear, clear as he always was and much more than his boss who gave him a headache. Silently, for three years, Morpheus had been patiently waiting for Y/N to kiss him again, silently giving her his consent.

He had been too proud or too stupid to understand that he had to verbalize such things.

"Morpheus, I love you very much and I don't care about this competition, can I kiss you ?"

"You can." he sighed with relief and what looked like a smile.

This kiss was much nicer than the first. Probably because it had been desired for more than two years now. Y/N would have liked it to last forever.

"And… For the third one ? Do I have to wait until next year ?" she asked nervously, keeping her hands on his shoulders, thinking he would leave as soon as she let go.

"You can take as many kisses as you want, my love. You can take everything you want."

"Dream… My Dream…"

It was difficult to know what happened in the Dreaming at this moment. No doubt that Lucienne and Matthew announced to the other participants that they could leave because they had lost. Then the wedding planning began.

Y/N hadn't thought about marriage. She had only thought about Morpheus, silly Morpheus, and all the love she had for him. They would need to discuss all of this. But right now, she was too busy kissing him again and again, and him not devouring her with his endless passion.

"I'm glad it's you." he whispered against her lips. "I have to go now. We'll see each other tonight, I'll wait for you."

Being a man of his word, he left a book on the sofa before disappearing. A love story with a happy ending, maybe because he knew they would be fine, or just because he hoped they would.

Y/N read it before going to sleep to join her future kingdom, and her stupid prince of dreams.

#the sandman #dream of the endless #dream of the endless x reader #dream of the endless imagine #dream of the endless fanfiction #morpheus #morpheus x reader #morpheus imagine #morpheus fanfiction

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elleloquently · 1 year

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invisible string [8] : ellie williams

part seven

| college!ellie x female!reader - welcome to the final part of invisible string! i am so sad to be ending this short series, but extremely excited for you all to read it!! i really hope you'll like it... a lot of time was spent getting it right (: thank you guys for being so patient with me! also- thank you to all of my readers <3 special shout out to those of you who have been following this story since the first part was posted. your kindness and encouragement has meant everything to me <3 ilysm

| c/w - anxiety, swearing

it was jarring, the transition from speaking to not.

your friendship with ellie started all at once and fizzled out even quicker, no lasting proof besides the sticky notes that remained on your wall.

it felt silly, looking at them everyday. you wondered if it was inappropriate, keeping them around and on display. truthfully, you still had a little bit of hope left. if you took them down, that would certainly be the end.

she was only a part of your life for a short time, but the week had felt empty without ellie.

ellie hadn't made a move, so you didn't either.

the time apart made it easier to think though, easier to differentiate your thoughts without ellie clouding your senses.

normal friendships shouldn't feel so dramatic. they shouldn't have so many lingering stares, ghosting touches, and unsaid words. at least, you didn't think so. you hadn't experienced a friendship like that before. desperate to say it all yet too scared to say anything at all, you simultaneously wanted to tell ellie everything yet keep yourself a secret, a closed off book forever.

normal friendships shouldn't require that much thought.

the idea nagged at you continuously and you had no choice but to allow it. it was december, finals were wrapping up and the promise of winter break was no longer just around the corner, it was here.

things were always a little awkward, even when they were good. tension.

things hadn't felt weird in a bad way until the mention of jesse and dina. any color had promptly drained from ellie's face, and she was too quick to get away. you were confident that you hadn't misspoke. surely it was something on ellie's end, but it bothered you nonetheless. you had to have been apart of it.

thinking about ellie made you feel selfish, because it almost felt vain to weigh the ways in which she could potentially care about you. reading into stolen glances was a pastime that possibly could've been increasing your vanity. you didn't typically have such thoughts such as oh, i look pretty today, that must be why she keeps looking at me.

you missed looking at ellie. how pathetic but true, it had only been a few days but surely your journal was tired of hearing about it.

you quickly learned that ellie seemed a little impulsive, driven by her stubbornness. well, two can play at that game. you wouldn't even text her.

you half hoped that your absence would make her grow more fond at the idea of you, though maybe you had only pushed her away further. no texts, no anything.

sure, it was finals week. but still.

half of your clothes were packed away, piles around your room that you would swear was an organized method. studying didn't really do you any good, your last final was here and you were drained. you felt like an idiot for being more concerned about ellie, but you had done fine in the class all semester anyway.

snow was finally starting to pile on the ground. you would appreciate the beauty more after your final was finished, when it didn't matter if your hair grew wet from the melting flakes.

campus was quiet and relatively empty as you hurried to the building in which your final would take place. you liked being early, and refused to push the time limit for an exam. maybe the thought of seeing ellie again made your feet move a little quicker, but you focused on rehearsing the study guide in your head during your walk.

your heart pounded with every step. despite actually enjoying the class, you never felt relaxed at the idea of an exam. you had been so focused on ellie, it didn't really sink in that you would be sitting still in a silent room, clock ticking quietly as you would try your best to answer each question. what if you couldn't even focus?

it was too late to worry, and too early to resign yourself yet.

you made it in time, twenty minutes early, your specialty, but quite a few people already occupied the classroom. it wasn't anything out of the ordinary, though. people usually arrived early for finals. the satisfied smile slipped off of your lips however when you noticed that ellie wasn't around.

your heart dropped.

did she opt to take the exam early? what if you had already saw her for the last time, and you had no idea?

you sunk into your seat, wanting to text ellie but you were starting to forget the wording of a definition that you were trying to memorize last minute. sparing a quick glance at your phone, you decided to pull out your study guide instead for a last review.

how the fuck were you supposed to focus?

it was technically still early, but you pulse quickened everytime someone that wasn't ellie walked into the room.

what if ellie wasn't coming? even if things were weird, you guys had become friends. it would be fucked up just to never say bye, right? unless she wasn't as emotionally invested in the situation as you were... which, let's be honest...

the door was heaved open once again and you tried not to look disappointed when in walked a guy from your class. you refocused your gaze on your study notes when suddenly a muttered "thank you" pulled you out of your thoughts.

the guy was holding the door open for someone, but you didn't need to look to know who it was.

in walked ellie, shoulders straight and eyes set. you opened your mouth, ready to say something, but she walked right past you and towards the desk that she previously sat in, before you became friends.

your eyebrows furrowed and it felt like the final nail.

but she hesitated.

ellie hesitated before backpedaling and sat down in the empty spot next to you. the act alone practically gave you an ego.

she didn't glance at you even once, and somehow that felt even more obvious than if she would've looked at you. despite the circumstance you felt giddy, determined to redeem yourself for a mistake that you didn't even make.

you eyed ellie. she was trying so hard not to glance in your direction, it was cute. you had to try. you'd regret it if you didn't. you mentally debated which was worse, regret or embarrassment.

"so," you began, wanting to sound confident instead of squeaky with nerves. "on a scale of one to ten, how fucked do you think you are for the final?"

ellie's eyes widened and you tried, you really did, not to break out into a grin.

you continued. "i think i'm standing at a solid..." you pretended to think, drawing your eyebrows together as you looked to the ceiling, but you already knew what you were going to say. "...six?"

ellie snorted. "do you just memorize everything that i say?" she quipped, finally turning toward you.

your smile was sly once you looked away from her. "i don't know what you're talking about?"

ellie rolled her eyes, but you were finally speaking again and it was so good. a little late maybe, but good.

"don't copy me," ellie said, her words clipped. you knew she was joking. "anyway, you're gonna do better than a six. you organize your notes like a crazy person."

you frowned at the teasing statement but your heart skipped a beat anyway. ellie couldn't seem to meet your eyes and it made you feel greedy, desperate to get to the bottom of things.

"how have you been?" you asked, casually enough.

ellie looked at you as though you had posed a trick question.

"it's finals week," she replied flatly, but there was something else there.

you nodded. "right, but..." you quietly trailed off. there was no point in starting a big conversation with the exam merely minutes away.

ellie seemed visibly uncomfortable.

"the last time we talked, i..." ellie began to speak without knowing where she was going to end her sentence. you really needed to memorize that definition from earlier.

you flung open your notes. "it's fine," you dismissed. it wasn't really, but maybe you didn't want to do this now.

ellie winced. "it's not," she disagreed.

last week she had practically left you in the dust. now she wants to get confrontational?

"ellie," you frowned. "do you want to look through my notes? i have the ones from the section that i helped you with, that day in the library?" you looked up curiously, hand hovering over the pages incase she accepted.

ellie laughed, short and breathy. "i'm okay."

her tone was polite and light, a drastic change from how awkward she was just being. you carried on, quickly scanning paragraphs. cramming was never helpful, but you couldn't help yourself.

"i didn't really need your notes," ellie mumbled, looking away from you and at her hands instead.

you barely caught on to the uttered confession. "hm?"

her words took a second to register in your brain, to which you finally pulled your gaze away from your notes.

"are you declining my help in a passive aggressive way, or do you have something to say?" you asked quickly, the words tumbling out of your mouth before you could think it over. the classrooms were always too hot this time of year. your hands felt too dry and the feeling of them against paper was driving you crazy.

"what? no," ellie quickly corrected, shifting nervously in her seat.

you leaned over to unzip your bag that was on the floor, leaning against your chair. "i was just asking," you mumbled, pulling a small bottle of lotion from it's secure place in your bag.

ellie watched carefully as you applied a small amount to your hands. the sweet, floral notes reached her nose and she craned her neck in an attempt to read the scent name on the decorated tube.

"ellie?" you pressed, zipping your bag shut once again when you were finished with the lotion. ellie's sentence was unfinished, and you were running on little to no patience.

"i'm sorry," she breathed out. it wasn't what you were expecting and you blinked in surprise.

you would've clung to her every word, but you'd rather it be saved until your finals were over. you couldn't tell if it was a good i'm sorry or a bad one, and the result might genuinely impact your grade. it had to be discussed, you couldn't live with it being left alone. you debated biting the bullet and just asking if she wanted to hang out, but the idea of rejection made you hot in the face.

there it was again, regret or embarrassment.

if she said no, the embarrassment would most likely creep over you every night when you tried to sleep, but at least you wouldn't have to face her again. last chance.

you came out of your thought by noticing the dejected look on ellie's face. right, she said sorry.

"ellie," you tried again. "are you busy after this... or, or tonight?" you tried not to make it sound weighted, but you didn't think that you succeeded.

something of a surprised smile registered on ellie's face that she tried to suppress.

"after this?" ellie questioned, her words rushed. there wasn't much time to converse anymore. the final exam was looming.

you nodded. ellie blinked. "yes. sure," she responded, a little dazed.

satisfaction bloomed within you. it wasn't over yet.

thank god, you didn't have to work your way through this exam battling tears of rejection and heartache.

you wanted to say more, but the time that you had been prepping for weeks was finally upon you. you were stupidly emotional about the class ending. this class brought you ellie. this final was the reason for your budding friendship with ellie. you didn't want whatever this was with ellie to end with the class. you would finish the exam, and then you would talk.

"hey," ellie muttered, getting your attention quickly before the exams were handed out. "good luck," she said warmly.

you didn't bother hiding your smile. "good luck," you replied sincerely. you spared ellie one more quick glance before tuning in to focus.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

ellie left the exam before you did. she had finished first, only by a few minutes, but your heart raced. you were nearly done, just checking over answers when ellie had stood up, turned in her final, and left. she looked back at you before she had walked out of the doors. you had made eye contact. and then she was gone.

you skimmed all of the pages, making sure you had answered every question. your stomach hurt. did she leave? did she just leave?!

granted, of course, you could text her later. hopefully she would respond. but it was hard to make sense of any rational thoughts after the image of her leaving.

you did your best. you even felt fairly confident. you blindly gathered your things and turned in your exam, wishing your professor a final farewell and a happy winter break.

you pulled your phone out of your pocket upon exiting the classroom, hoping to see a text from ellie. instead, you simply saw ellie.

"oh," you said audibly.

ellie's head snapped up as soon as you appeared in the hallway. she was sitting on a bench outside of the classroom. she was waiting.

"how'd it go?" she asked hopefully.

you breathed a sigh of relief that turned into a laugh. she waited for you. the weight of the exam had been lifted off of your shoulders. now the only thing left that was bringing you down was where you stood with ellie.

"it's over," you mused, relieved that for a little while, there would be no assignments or tests to leave you in a tizzy. "what about you?"

ellie smiled in response, but her expression was lacking happiness. "we're free."

you nodded slowly, wanting to get on with it but at the same time feeling perfectly content with the small talk.

"so," you started, but the classroom door flung open causing you to flinch. another student completed the exam, exiting into the hallway. you stepped aside, drawing closer to ellie. "wanna get out of here?"

"do you have the time?" ellie questioned, looking at you almost accusingly.

your eyes narrowed. "yes," you emphasized. "that was my last exam. I am officially on winter break. also... you were the one that disappeared the last time we talked."

ellie paled, focusing her gaze on her converse. "yeah. about that..."

a small group of people came down the hallway. ellie stood up and gave you a look. "let's get out of here," she affirmed.

you trailed behind her, wringing your hands. what exactly were you even supposed to say? was this supposed to be some sort of all or nothing situation, because you really weren't very good at those...

once ellie noticed that you weren't at her side, she halted. "are... you okay?" she asked, looking unsure.

you nodded, eyes wide. you could see out of the doors, snow was falling once again. it was really starting to stick to the ground, too. the sight made your heart swell. "'it's snowing," you mumbled, awkwardly gesturing with your hand.

ellie let out a dry chuckle. "yeah, it is," she remarked, a soft smile painting itself on her lips. "wanna go to my dorm?"

you nodded once more, absentmindedly. ellie held the door open and you stepped outside, mentally welcoming the snow.

the walk was quiet. awkward. neither of you bothered with anymore small talk. it felt weird, saving the conversation until you arrived in ellie's dorm. you were anxious to see if she still had your doodles on her wall.

you made it in record time, motivated by the cold and slippery sidewalk. ellie laughed at you once you entered the building, stomping your shoes to rid them of any snow.

"you have snowflakes. in your eyelashes," ellie murmured, placing a careful hand under your chin to direct your gaze so she could examine them.

you stilled and held your breath, the feeling of her touch warming your body so much that you felt desperate to shed your coat.

"they'll melt," you whispered with an uneasy laugh.

ellie caught herself and removed her touch. your stomach flipped.

"i thought one time you said something about not liking when they melted on your eyelashes. something about your mascara running?" ellie teased, leading the way to her room.

"yeah, so i buy waterproof," you explained as if it were obvious.

ellie clicked her tongue and unlocked her door. "right. silly me," she breathed, stepping aside to let you into her room first. every action like that brought you butterflies.

you tried not to make it obvious, but you immediately looked for the notes on her wall. once your eyes landed on them, you breathed a sigh of relief. they were still there. suddenly you didn't feel so weird about keeping them on your wall either.

the room smelled like ellie. you wanted to soak it in.

ellie took off her coat, placed her bag on the floor and then dropped her coat on top of it. you followed suit, tucking your bag into a corner and shrugging off your coat. you were going to put it on the floor too, but ellie grabbed it from your hand and hung it on the back of a chair.

your cheeks warmed and you looked away.

"i feel like we should be studying or something," you tried with a small laugh.

"or something," ellie mused.

she sat on her bed, legs hanging over the side. you stood in front of ellie, avoiding eye contact.

"can i get you anything?" ellie awkwardly offered after a moment. "i don't have much left but i can offer you the water that's left in my bottle."

you rolled your eyes despite the corners of your lips, which quirked upwards. "charming. i'll pass, thank you."

"suit yourself," ellie sighed.

you were both trying way too hard to sound nonchalant. you hated it.

you stood awkwardly, not sure what to do with your hands. after a moment of hesitation, you finally made the plunge.

"ellie, did i like... say something? or do... something?"

you were scared of her answer, scared that maybe you really had been embarrassing yourself all along and now you wouldn't hear the end of it.

she looked resigned. you could tell that she was debating something, the way her eyes flicked away from your face and her eyebrows drew together.

"you didn't do anything," ellie confirmed. you could tell that she was physically working up to something. "i thought maybe... dina and jesse? i thought they might've said something stupid," she uttered.

you tilted your head in confusion, but your heart beat sped up. your mind flashed back to that moment, someone that ellie likes.

"they didn't," you reassured.

"yeaah, that's what they said too. i guess i just kinda... freaked." ellie replied, scratching the back of her neck.

"they were really nice," you offered awkwardly. "i didn't mean to make you feel weird or anything."

you even tried to avoid it, but you didn't have to explain that now. it's not like you would have actually hung out with dina and jesse... no offense to them of course, but you didn't know them so the idea made you feel extremely uncomfortable.

"you didn't," ellie pressed, adamant about not making you feel bad. "i thought that maybe i did."

you scrunched up your nose. "is that why you said the thing about freaking me out? because you really didn't."

ellie nodded. "i just thought they said something dumb. or something they shouldn't have said," she reiterated. ellie kicked off her converse.

your eyes widened, immediately thinking the worst. surely ellie was not the type of person to be nice to your face and then talk poorly about you to her friends? you honestly felt that if she didn't like you, you obviously wouldn't be standing in her room. still, the nagging thought persisted.

"something like what?" you asked, your voice coming out sharper than you intended.

"nothing bad, i just- dude, i feel like i'm on trial when you're just standing there like that."

your cheeks heated in embarrassment. "sorry," you mumbled, taking off your shoes and carefully tucking them next to your bag. you sat on the edge of her bed, and ellie turned to face you.

ellie's eyes scanned your features once you sighed.

"this is so dumb," you muttered. to your surprise, ellie laughed in relief.

"i was being weird. and i shouldn't have been," ellie clarified. "i'm sorry i made you feel bad."

the sincerity made you feel awkward. "it's okay. we're good?"

"we're good," ellie confirmed.

you blinked, forcing a smile onto your face. you were ready for this part to be over but there was still so much to be said.

you tore your eyes away from ellie, studying the solar system poster above her bed. "i still haven't seen the planetarium," you uttered wistfully.

ellie tilted her head, staring at you while you were unaware. "i'll take you," she said automatically, the words leaving her before she was able to doubt herself.

a ghost of a smile flickered on your lips.

"i think i've only been to a planetarium a couple times, as a kid," you said, eyes glancing over the starry map.

ellie smiled, quickly glancing from your lips to your eyes.

"for my sixteenth birthday, joel took me to this awesome museum," ellie began. her tone was wistful yet determined, voice laced with her best storytelling inflections.

you turned to face her again. ellie's eyes lit up while she spoke.

"it was a science and history museum," ellie explained. you smiled at her easy enthusiasm. "-and it had this planetarium that was the coolest fucking thing i've ever seen."

the smile quickly left your lips once your mouth dropped open in realization. "oh! the pictures!" you scrambled off of ellie's bed, leaving her to look confused and mildly concerned.

"pictures?" she questioned, getting up to follow after you. you lead her to the wall that was covered in all of her drawings and photos. you could've sworn that you remembered them. you scanned her wall, looking for two pictures in particular as your face scrunched up in concentration.

"there!" you pointed excitedly. the two photos that you remembered, ellie in an astronaut helmet grinning wildly at the camera, and ellie and joel wearing hats, posed in front of a massive dinosaur display.

"are those from your birthday?" you asked, stomach twisting with your words. you hoped that you were right, or else it might be embarrassing. maybe it was embarrassing anyway, the fact that you had so vividly remembered those photos.

ellie chuckled. "yeah actually, they are."

ellie bumped your shoulder, causing you to grin at her decorated wall.

"i love how many pictures you have," you sighed. "i have such a cute camera, but i always forget to take pictures in the moment." you explained with a frown.

"bring it when we go to the planetarium," ellie suggested plainly, as if her entire sentence didn't completely cause your pulse to quicken.

when.

we.

"okay," you replied flatly, wondering if ellie could tell how uneven your breathing had gotten. fueled by blind courage, you stared at astronaut ellie when you spoke. "i'm leaving tomorrow, though. going home for break."

"we'll go after break," she clarified, looking at you.

you turned your head to meet her eyes, willing yourself not to flinch at how close your faces were. the green of her eyes were always enchanting, but this close?

you swallowed hard. "okay," you agreed.

and it was official. ellie wanted to keep seeing you after break. you had done the impossible college task, turn a class friend into a real friend.

friend. honestly, it was laughable.

"okay," ellie repeated in a whisper. her eyes bore into yours and you were frozen, wanting to pull away but your body stayed still, feet planted. she was so intense.

you forced your body to move, turning your head away from her and taking a step back. you heard ellie sigh as you moved.

"i was never trying to blow you off," you confessed suddenly, once your back was to ellie.

you obviously had caught her off guard by the way in which she hummed in surprise. admittedly, you had caught yourself off guard too, but it had been weighing on your conscience too much. you couldn't ignore the signs anymore, and as much as you would have loved to wait around for ellie to make the first move, she was too concerned about potentially freaking you out.

"remember when you asked me if i wanted to go to the dining hall with you? the first time," you clarified. "and i said that i was free the rest of the day." you busied yourself by straightening the green throw blanket on ellie's bed.

ellie nodded, even though your back was turned. "yeah?"

"and then i stopped hanging out with you after class."

"yeah."

"i... um, i lied," you confessed suddenly, whirling around to face her.

ellie's features were etched in confusion. "lied about what?" she pressed, her voice low.

all of your insecurities felt heightened by how intensely she was staring at you. you felt cowardly, explaining the next part.

"i lied about being free?" you mumbled, face hot.

ellie's eyebrows knitted together, as if to say go on...

"i have another class on those days, like, about an hour later. but... i lied and said i was done for the day because... i wanted to... hang out?"

you mentally lost your footing but got there eventually, holding your breath once you finished your sentence. the silence was daunting until ellie suddenly laughed.

"are you fucking kidding me?" she asked, eyes wide.

"n-no?"

ellie shook her head. "why didn't you just tell me that?" ellie laughed, clearly amused.

"because it's embarrassing?" you said, believing it to be obvious.

"well, yeah," ellie mused. you visibly deflated.

ellie managed to hold back her laughter as she took a small step towards you. "you could've told me," she reiterated more seriously.

"sure i could've," you mumbled, rolling your eyes. "i was too nervous. it felt so stupid."

"you skipped class to hang out with me?" ellie's eyes glinted with bemusement. you wished she would stop looking at you, you needed a break. you quite literally felt like you were burning up.

"so what?" you snapped in defense, and ellie's laughter escaped her. you frowned, crossing your arms.

"i just wish that i knew that before," ellie shrugged, taking another step towards you. you countered it by taking a small step backwards.

"yeah well..." you shrugged. "i'm sorry. it's weird."

ellie immediately shook her head. "it's not," she pressed. she went from joking to being serious so quickly. god she made your head spin.

"i just didn't wanna-" you were quickly cut off by ellie.

"freak me out?" she finished. your blank expression was enough of a confirmation.

"imagine how i felt," ellie pointed out. "i thought that maybe i... i don't know," she shrugged it off. it wasn't fair, you were totally embarrassed and she kept brushing things off. it was infuriating. she looked so cute in her hoodie.

"maybe you what?" you pressed once again. finish your sentences, ellie.

ellie took a deep breath. "maybe i scared you off."

you shook your head slowly. yeah, these conversations were not typical in normal friendships.

"you didn't," you said. your words were quiet but weighted. you prayed for ellie to catch onto the implication. please please please-

ellie took a step closer. you took a step back. your body knocked against ellie's bed and you straightened your knees.

"good," she said simply, not breaking eye contact.

"okay, enough about that," you laughed weakly. "why did you want to hang out with me in the first place?" you questioned, attempting to change your tone.

ellie's eyebrows raised. "seriously?" she asked flatly, unimpressed with your question.

whatever. this so wasn't fun.

"how would you recommend going about making friends?" ellie asked tauntingly.

"oh, you're putting me on the spot again. let's not do that anymore," you suggested. ellie laughed suddenly and rolled her eyes.

"my bad," she joked, throwing her hands in the air to resign. you smiled but the butterflies in your stomach made you feel sick.

you threw her an accusing look but she grinned, enjoying whatever this situation was. you almost felt jealous, wondering what it was that you could have possibly done that managed to boost her confidence.

"besides, you never answer any of my questions," you argued.

"well you just have so many," ellie mumbled and then frowned. "and yes i do," she defended. "i just answered your question about those pictures being from my birthday."

"ellie," you complained.

ellie mocked your tone, saying your name as a complaint.

you appeared unamused, willing the corners of your lips not to turn up.

ellie dropped the joke-y smile and genuinely appeared to be conflicted. you worried that you pressed too far, maybe things didn't need to come out right now, but you stayed silent anyway.

"fine," ellie finally said. "ask me."

"ask you what?" you quickly questioned.

"just ask me."

heart pounding, you remained still as ellie took another hesitant step towards you. you felt as though there were so many things that could go wrong. it was all dangling, right in front of you. one wrong move or one right move, you couldn't decide which it was, and everything would be out in the open. you were terrified, wanting to immediately backpedal but at the same time, you were starting to feel addicted to the adrenaline of being around ellie. you wanted to ask her so many questions but also, nothing at all.

at once it came to you, and the final exam that you had just taken felt like it had been days ago.

you wrinkled your nose. "what did you mean when you said you didn't really need my notes?"

the expression that registered on ellie's face made you feel as though you had asked the incorrect question.

"i just mean, you didn't say that you don't need my notes, you said that you didn't need my notes which doesn't make sense because-"

"i lied," ellie cut you off.

you gaped at her and ellie took another step, this one even more hesitant. you couldn't move away any further. you resigned and sat down on her bed.

"about what?" you asked, and your voice came out more quiet than you had intended. you felt like your heart was pounding in your ears.

"i didn't need your notes."

"i know, you said you didn't but-"

"no, i didn't need your notes," ellie tried again. "i never needed your notes."

she was treading lightly and you could tell. ellie tried meeting your eyes, but you stared down at your hands in your lap.

"you never needed my notes," you repeated softly.

ellie nodded once, encouraging your train of thought. she let it linger, only for a moment before clarifying. "in the library. the study group."

what?

"you never needed my notes?" your head snapped up, eyes wide as you finally met ellie's gaze. she slowly shook her head, trying to gage your reaction.

you felt humiliated, as if you had forced ellie to study with you even though that certainly wasn't the case at all. she had even encouraged it, initiated it even, but dread still filled a pit in your stomach.

"but you said that you were there for the study group!" you said, grasping for straws. ellie chuckled.

"yeah, i was. just not for the reason you thought."

you tilted your head to the side. "go on," you said, raising an eyebrow.

"i didn't need help. i wasn't there to get help. i was actually there to give help, but the person didn't show up," ellie explained.

you blinked once, slowly. you repeated her words in your mind. you let it sink in.

"oh my god," you muttered, partly in disbelief. "why did you let me help you?"

"becauuse," ellie carefully sat next to you. "i figured... if you thought that i needed help, you would stay."

her expression remained stoic despite the red blush that was creeping up onto her face. your stomach flipped.

"and i stayed," you uttered.

"you stayed," ellie confirmed. "mission accomplished," she offered weakly.

she wanted you to stay. she acted like she needed your notes so you would stay.

ellie was watching you carefully, but you didn't feel pressured to react. you wiped your palms on your pants.

"okay," you began calmly. "i hate study groups. i hate the awkward conversation, being around people that never actually speak to me. i never go to those things. the only reason that i went was because you asked me about it in class. and so i thought that i might see you there. and i wanted to see you," you added the last part, letting the words fall into the open.

"you're fucking with me," ellie immediately said.

"i'm not," you argued, defensive and buzzing.

ellie clicked her tongue in disbelief, eyeing you. shorter strands of hair always fell into her face. you wanted to swipe them away.

"jesus," ellie mused.

"is that why you wanted me to stay? you wanted to be friends?"

ellie winced at friends, and you inwardly cringed.

dear god.

"not friends," you quickly clarified. "well, friends, but..." your voice failed you, but maybe it was for the better. you wished you weren't wearing a sweater, too warm.

ellie said your name, quietly to get your attention. you met her eyes. her mouth slipped into a sly smile when she spoke.

"i sat next you because i thought that you were pretty," she uttered pointedly.

oh! like like like!

your mind and face went blank. "oh," you laughed after a second.

"oh?" ellie questioned, watching you carefully.

ellie leaned into you, elbows propped on her legs. you swallowed hard. you felt like you were watching yourself instead of actively experiencing what was happening. it was dreamlike.

"you're the only reason i haven't skipped class all semester," you blurted out. you grimaced, twisting it into a nervous smile. okay, sure, no time like the present.

ellie looked at you curiously, cocking her head to the side. "really?"

"really," you confirmed, running your fingers along the blanket on her bed.

"you definitely weren't obvious," ellie murmured, looking at you in amusement.

"i wasn't supposed to be, are you kidding? this is humiliating."

"is it?" ellie questioned, eyebrows raised in concern despite the smirk on her face.

"sort of? oh my god, i feel so dumb. i had the biggest-" you paused in hesitation, the word crush hadn't been used yet and you were reluctant to be the first.

like like like!

"i wanted to talk to you all semester," you corrected, still burning with embarrassment. "and when you sat next to me, well, i know that technically i sat next to you but that was my seat first so really all i was doing was sitting in my normal seat where i had sat every other day but then you decided to move seats so really-"

you rambles were cut off, surprisingly, pleasantly, by ellie leaning inwards and placing her hands on your shoulders. you were suddenly pulled towards her as ellie closed the gap between the two of you.

her lips, warm and a little chapped, met your own without a moment's notice. your eyes widened in surprise before you forced them shut, melting into ellie as she brought a careful hand to the side of your face. your heart pounded, butterflies exploded in your stomach and yet you tried not to think, only to enjoy it.

like!

the kiss lasted merely seconds before ellie pulled away, lifting her hands away from you. they hovered above you, the ghost of her touch lingering. you already missed it. ellie quickly scanned your face for any indication of feeling.

you were lost for words, every hopeless hope that you had held and carried with you for weeks turned out not to be hopeless after all. now probably wasn’t the best time to feel shy, but nerves consumed you.

despite them though, you laughed. “so when jesse said someone that ellie likes…”

“yes,” ellie confirmed.

you grinned. “me too.”

“yeah?” ellie asked softly.

you hummed in response, allowing your eyes to flutter shut as ellie leaned in once again. you allowed yourself to be kissed, drowning out your nervous feelings with complete and total bliss.

you pulled away first this time, drawing your knees up to your chest.

"how long?" you inquired, peering to the spot on the wall where the sticky notes were on display.

"since the first day, when a pretty girl was in my class and i had to take the seat in front of her."

"me?" you whispered, as if you were being let in on a secret. in a way, you supposed, you were.

ellie nodded enthusiastically.

"me too," you said with a frown. "good thing you finally spoke to me, 'cause class would've ended before i had the chance."

"good thing," ellie agreed with a hum. you wanted to kiss her again.

"so, is there a reason i got invited to lunch? they said something about you canceling all the time," you mused.

ellie waved it off. "just dina being dina. i was canceling but... there was only so much time left in the semester to try and impress you," ellie joked wistfully.

you shook your head in disbelief. "i can't believe this."

"you? what about me?" ellie countered. "when i saw you that night at the bar, with that guy? god, i was fucking praying that you didn't have a boyfriend or something."

"cute," you responded simply, to which ellie wrinkled her nose.

"oh, and when i gave you my number?" ellie continued on, talking animatedly now. "and you didn't text me at all during the entire weekend?" ellie shook her head, letting out a breathy laugh. "i thought it was over for me."

"i was so scared," you admitted.

"it's okay," ellie reassured you. "we got to the bottom of it."

you smiled, looking at your hands. the silence that ensued was comfortable.

"were you ever going to tell me?" you asked finally.

ellie sighed heavily, scanning your face. "i don't know. i wasn't sure if you wanted me to. i had to be sure." she looked down at your hands, fidgeting and wringing.

you nodded in understanding. "you were sort of driving me crazy these past few weeks. i couldn't tell if you actually liked me or if i was overreacting to everything."

"oh, join the club," ellie mused.

okay, note to self, trust your gut feeling. unless anxiety is controlling your gut feeling. then… disregard completely. other note to self, try to figure out the difference between a real gut feeling and an anxious, fake gut feeling.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

you talked and talked with ellie until the sun went down. you had hardly noticed it had gotten dark. the shades and curtains were open, once letting in the natural light from the day. the room grew dark as night fell, but neither of you moved from the bed. you sat, talking and laughing and whispering and you wondered how cheesy you would seem if you pinched yourself.

time ticked by no matter how much you opposed it, and the threat of morning weighed heavy on you.

"i'll walk you," ellie insisted once you were putting on your shoes.

you glanced out of the window. snow was piling up quickly. it was beautiful to look at, but you dreaded the walk back to your dorm.

"are you kidding? no way," you refused. you felt bad enough the last time that ellie had walked you home, and that night's weather was nice compared to tonight.

"are you kidding?" ellie began putting on her shoes, lacing up her converse.

"i'm just going to go," you threatened flatly.

"okay, i'll just trail behind you and try not to look like a total creep," ellie retorted.

you pushed out a breath of air, trying not to smile. ellie had her jacket on quicker than you did anyway.

when ellie asked if you had gloves this time, you were proud to pull them out of your coat pocket to show her.

"a hat?" ellie questioned next.

"i can't find my earmuffs," you grumbled.

in response, ellie placed her own hat on your head, tugging it down so that it covered your ears with a look of determination on her face.

the walk was peaceful, though trudging through the quickly fallen snow had proven to be difficult. it was beautiful though, and ellie guided you with a careful hand on your arm so you could focus your gaze upward, at the falling snowflakes.

when you arrived at your dorm, you both hesitated in the cold despite your noses turning red.

"ellie, do you want to come in fo-"

"yes," ellie quickly answered. you grinned.

yourself and ellie spent two more hours talking together. you stood back and observed while ellie paced around your room, looking at pictures and trinkets. everything about her was endearing. the shy smile that graced her lips upon seeing the sticky notes on your wall was the reason behind your third kiss that night.

when ellie finally had to leave, she parted with promises to text when she had made it safely. and she did.

you traced her name from the sticky note over and over, emotions swelling inside of you. despite the calm you felt fairly overwhelmed, left with so much to process. positively overwhelmed, at least. no longer would you lose sleep, analyzing and overthinking trying to figure out if ellie could truly like you.

like like like!

you would see her again after break, it was certain. you would text her, not worrying if ellie didn't really want you to have her number.

after all, she gave it to you for a reason... just as she reminded you before leaving for her dorm.

so of course, you promised to text her.

and you did.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

tags :

@pinkfillerose @whore-era @lilisvlibrary @elliefilms @whteflwcrs @jasontoddsdreamgirl @icedcold @sarahsmileslikesarahd0esntcare @evanpetersluver @muthafuckingstargirl @pctcr @illicitghosts @mell0w-mushr00m @queen-arya22 @deafelliewilliams @urmyheartshaka @yourfrenchteacher @me-and-your-husband @blairfox04 @saturnsrem @poopedmypants47 @shehitdenaenae @jrjlc

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams college au #ellie tlou x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie tlou x female reader #ellie williams fanfic

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acowardinmordor · 1 year

Text

I'm never going to write it, so here, enjoy some suffering as I combine multiple fics and tropes into a bouillabaisse of angst.

----

Eddie isn't quite dead when Steve, Robin and Nancy get back to them. Since the gates are starting to weaken, it's a mad rush to get everyone through. Steve gets Nancy and Dustin through so they can at least sort of help catch Eddie -- who is entirely unconscious and lacking a lot of blood. The gate is narrowing, the Upside Down is trembling, and Steve doesn't ask, just hefts Robin up and gets her through.

She makes it, but by the time she lands and looks up to yell for him to haul ass, everyone can tell that Steve won't make it through. The gate is too narrow and they don't know, they won't risk finding out what happens if the gate closes on him.

It's closing with exponential decay, so the slow creep it started with becomes a rush, and he yells for them to get to the damn hospital.

Then he's gone.

And look, they're furious and horrified and yes, they want to go after him right this second, but Eddie is dying and Dustin's leg is broken, and they don't even know if Max is okay. Besides, its not like they know how to open a gate.

It's a few days before Team Cali gets to Hawkins, and everyone, including Max in three casts begs El to open a gate.

And she can't. Something about how Henry died, something about the hivemind and the interconnection to the whole world. She knows it's still there, but she can't reach it. She can't find Steve either.

So a few days becomes a week, and Will won't answer questions, because he knows what its like to be alone there, and telling the others when there's no hope of rescue is cruel.

Then Eddie wakes up, coherent for the first time after the infection and the fever and the pain meds. They tell him, and they try to prevent the survivor's guilt - which was already awful - from destroying him. Robin gets it. She was the last through. Steve could have gone first and left her there, but they both know he never would.

They bond over it in the next few weeks as he recovers and leaves the hospital with a few hundred stitches.

After a month, they hold a small memorial, even though they haven't reported it. Without a body, it would take more paperwork than any of them can bear to complete.

The G-men took the Munson trailer, so he, Robin and Wayne are at Harrington's place for now. And if Eddie snoops a little when the others are at work, learning more about this idiot that died instead of him, its understandable.

The way he has all the scraps of his relationship with Nancy, dwarfed by the notes and dumb gifts and mementos of the gremlins. The enormous first aid kit, right next to the enormous supply of hair spray. The box of things from before '83, shoved in a corner, but not forgotten. Post its with important dates. A bank statement showing that his parents left him the house, but no money to cover upkeep or taxes. A scratchy budget where Steve so obviously prioritized his friends over himself.

Eddie learns about Steve Harrington and wishes he could trade places. Eddie is selfish and an asshole and a failure, and he isn't worth what it cost to save his life.

No matter what Robin says about being last through, Eddie knows it must have taken longer to move him, so if it wasn't for Eddie, Steve would have made it. If Eddie had died instead of clinging to life --

When Eddie develops a cough, everyone winces in sympathy as his still achy wounds protest the movement. When his cough gets worse, they consider contacting Owens about Upside Down pathogens.

When he has a coughing fit while the others are out, and ends up with a few blood stained petals in his hand, it takes a few seconds for him to understand.

It takes a few more for it to really land.

He spends the next hour over the toilet, first vomiting, then dry heaving as he sobs.

Because see, Hanahaki might be rare and a remnant of ancient magics, but it's well studied. The sufferer has to be in love and pining. They have to have no hope of the person they love ever reciprocating.

It isn't always fatal. If they confess, and they're rejected, they'll die within a day. If they confess, and it's reciprocated, the flowers fade within a day. If they fall out of love, the flowers fade within a week. If they stay silent they'll live another month from the first petals.

There is a surgery that can remove the affliction and the affection. It's safe, it's a priority treatment in every hospital, and the only side effect is emotional disconnection from the person who caused it.

But none of that is what has Eddie sobbing.

Cause see there's another thing that science knows for sure. Hanahaki will not, does not, absolutely cannot bloom if the person they love is dead.

#steddie #Eddie Munson #my writing #except not really #someone else can have this though #hanahaki #angst

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mins-fins · 7 months

Text

EVERYBODY WANTS TO RULE THE WORLD.

synopsis: the one thing taerae would always go by is "it's better to kill than be killed". a selfish motif to hold, yes, but in a world like this, where being selfish is the only way to survive, love isn't an option, love shouldn't be an option, and taerae thought that was that, but he sure did love lying to himself, and it's just so disappointing how things turned out.

pairing: kim taerae x male!reader

genre: dystopian au, fluff, angst, heartbreak, strangers to companions to lovers, happy ending? hell no 👍

warnings: mentions of murder, mentions of suicide, mentions of weaponry, kinda hunger games ripoff, talks of death and the afterlife, mentions of injuries and descriptions of bruises, taerae is so gay it's funny, conflicting feelings

word count: 3.7k

notes: THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES WAS SO GOOD HELLO??? it was so beautifully shot and the movie was so good and the actors all delivered none of them missed they said "were getting that paycheck" and they DID! but anyway, can i tell you how much i love dystopian books how did i not read the hunger games sooner like wtf 🙁 i debated for so long on who to write this for and originally i thought gunwook but then i thought of something i think would be smart to put in the story so taerae it is! i hope you enjoy 👍

anyway and all reblogs are appreciated, please for the love of god if you have feedback, even if it was the smallest of it, so tell me, i love reading reblogs and people's thoughts on my fics, please do not be a silent reader 🙁🙏 this layout was inspired by @taeiun (ily)

104 days before.

the first thing taerae did was suck in a breath.

being stuck in an arena, with hundreds of other people, some of them adults, some of them children, some of them barely able to say goodbye to their families, some of them that had nobody left, all here for one reason, all against their own will.

taerae has been through this once before, when he was fifteen years old. it was traumatizing, he barely made it out alive, let alone made it out a winner. the only things he'd ever heard about it was how you had to run, how you needed to make sure you didn't make any close allies, how you should've been careful with who you trusted.

taerae had to learn that the hard way.

and by the "hard way" that equals almost getting murdered by a grown adult for a piece of jewelry.

but that was six years ago, taerae's now an adult, and at least he's alive, it's better than having to succumb to such a ghastly fate, then slowly being forgotten by everyone else who would then come after him.

now he's back, with a newfound anger for the organizer of this "challenge".

so as he glances around, he sighs.

he glances at the paper in his hand, the one he had just crumpled. he brushes the small amount of hair out of his face, and reopens it, looking at the name that scribbled onto it.

the one thing taerae just happened to forget about these games.

he's stuck by someone's side.

he doesn't bother reading the name, just once again crumbling the paper and sticking it into his sweater pocket. he watches as other people begin scattering, trying to find out who their going to be paired with for these.. games. taerae just stands there, like an idiot, not wanting to move even a bit.

in short, he didn't want to have a partner, not just because of prior traumatic experiences, but because he didn't know how he'd fair during these years games. it was difficult to stomach the feeling of being in the games again, and his heart almost dropped when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

a small yelp just barely escapes his lips, and he jumps back, startled. all random touches have always made him uncomfortable, maybe it's just his unsaid paranoia, but he takes a deep breath, trying his best to calm his fast beating heart.

also because he'd just come in contact with one of the most beautiful men ever..

taerae clears his throat, looking up at his new companion (he doesn't enjoy the word that much, but for this guy, he might just suck it up). his new companion who is absolutely gorgeous, if taerae had to describe him, he'd say the word "enticing" is one of the best words he can use.

taerae has met pretty people, he's met several psychically attractive people, and there's a lot of encounters he's had with said kinds of people. he spends maybe two minutes before snapping out of it, feeling his face go red. "i— i'm sorry, was that rude? i apologize if that was rud—"

his new companion snickers, then full on laughs, shaking his head. "it's alright" he says softly, waving his hand dismissively. his voice is what taerae would think touching a cloud would feel like, it's just so soft, so comfortable to listen to.

taerae quickly pinches himself, he can't believe he's having such thoughts about someone he met like two seconds ago!

"um, kim taerae?"

taerae freezes, then nods. the beautiful stranger stretches out his hand for taerae to take, and he blinks for a moment like an idiot, quickly then taking his hand and shaking it. "l/n y/n, nice to meet you".

"nice to meet you too.."

taerae didn't know that taking that hand had practically sealed his fate.

that in 104 days, he'd be regretting everything he's ever done in his life..

89 days before.

one thing taerae has discovered about y/n is that he enjoys taking risks.

the whole point is that they're supposed to survive (at least one of them is), not try to kill themselves at every single chance.. which is exactly what y/n is trying to do. seriously, taerae never knew that people could ever enjoy jumping off cliffs, or just running into danger.

taerae didn't know having a companion meant having to bust out his ass every time he threatens the next person that tries him.

"seriously, do you enjoy being moments away from death?" he inquires, staring at the scab on y/n's hand, he immediately slaps y/n's hand away the moment he tries to pick at it. he earns a frown, and just rolls his eyes.

"don't do that, it's gross".

taerae's tone is stern, straight to the point, and y/n looks up at him when he stands up, walking off to go get something from his backpack. he narrows his eyes at him, and sighs as he sees the one thing he didn’t want to see.

not the bandages— rubbing alcohol.

"one of these days, the officials are gonna find you somewhere and think i killed you" taerae mindlessly comments, kneeling beside y/n and taking his hand, he considers putting up a fight, but taerae doesn't seem to be taking his shit that day, so he just lets taerae patch up his hand.

"i think that'd just certify you as a legend more than anything".

taerae laughs at the words, although y/n winces because he just happens to apply the alcohol at the same time. "your much of a comedian aren't you?" he inquires, lightly glancing up at y/n, but quickly glancing down as to avoid eye contact with him.

"i try".

taerae can't help the smile that crosses his face, but then his face drops at the realization that he's smiling about y/n. that's enough to make him begin questioning himself.

he shouldn't be smiling over a boy, he shouldn't even be thinking about smiling over a boy.

he was here to survive, not make friends, not fall in love.

but oh what a liar he was.

64 days before.

"what are you doing exactly?"

"it's a surprise".

taerae doesn't know if he can take another one of y/n's 'surprises', mostly because said boy enjoys chasing him around with spiders and, worst of all, snakes. he's smacked y/n so many times for scaring him that it's become much of an instinct in these few weeks.

"i don't know if i can trust any of your surprises anymore, l/n" taerae says, watching as y/n hums to himself. he has absolutely no idea what he's doing, considering his back is turned to him, as if he's trying to hide it from taerae. "what are you doing?"

the inquiry just barely makes it to y/n, who turns around, making sure his hands are hidden away from taerae. "i said, it was a surprise".

"i hope your not about to murder me".

"i would never" y/n smiles ominously, and taerae almost feels a bit.. fearful at the look he receives. he blinks away such thoughts, and simply sighs.

"y/n, seriously—"

taerae pauses, especially when y/n turns around and places something on his head. he goes silent for a moment, but then he sees y/n smile, and he blinks again. "what..?"

"it's a flower crown" he says simply, his hands dropping down to his sides. taerae opens his mouth to say something, but closes it again because he's just shocked at why y/n would do this.

it's just.. such a simple yet sweet act? and with the way y/n was staring at him, how could he not be falling in love with him? taerae's inner conscious is practically screaming at him right now, what happened to love isn't an option? he can't believe what he's thinking right now.

a look of shock quickly spreads over y/n's face and he turns around, clearing his throat. "yeah— uh, sorry" he mutters, and taerae simply smiles, feeling his heart soar in a way it never has before.

"no no it's.. pretty i like it" taerae slowly removes the crown, staring at the kinds of flowers that are littered around the crown. he runs his hands over the crown, and smiles once again, it was just something to cherish; something he would cherish for a long time.

"these are daisies right?"

y/n nods, taerae can tell he feels a little embarrassed, especially with the way he's picking at his nails. "yeah um, i know you like them".

taerae gasps, using this as an opportunity to tease the hell out of y/n. "aww you remembered!?"

"don't start.."

41 days before.

"do you sing?"

taerae looks up at y/n, his eyebrow raising at the inquiry. he tries so hard not to focus on the fact that his wet shirt is practically see through, in fact he tries so hard to ignore everything about y/n, worrying he's going to act impulsively and do stuff he can only think of.

"how'd you know?" no seriously, how did he? taerae mentioned playing the guitar as a one off thing maybe once.. he never mentioned singing before, and even then, the idea of singing being interesting to y/n just makes something go off in his mind..

"intuition" he simply replies, sitting himself down besides taerae. he stares at taerae for what seems like a while, and for some reason, taerae pauses just to stare at him too.

they keep having.. moments like this, where they just sit and stare at each other for unspecified amounts of time. taerae sometimes feels like he's fallen into a trap, that this is exactly what y/n wanted to happen, but those are just the excuses his brain makes to try and erase the feelings he's obviously growing for y/n.

he dislikes feeling like this—

but really, can he stop it?

"can you sing for me?"

"huh?"

taerae blinks, staring at y/n like he just asked an insane kind of question. he wants taerae to sing for him? he opens his mouth to speak, but then closes it, because he has no idea how to respond to that. the question shouldn't be so hard to answer, but for him, it is.

"you— you want me to sing?" he asks, taking in a deep breath. "for you?" he points at y/n, who just snickers, laying down onto the grassy field.

"i mean— you have a nice speaking voice, you must also have a nice singing voice too, right?"

taerae stares at y/n, thinking for a moment, then he turns to his guitar that's lying on the ground and picks it up. "do you have any songs in mind?"

"i was hoping that you would have songs in mind.." y/n immediately replies, and taerae gives him an 'are you serious' look.

"at this point i'm going to end up killing you" he says as a joke, positioning his guitar on his lap. the words make y/n laugh, because he's told that exact joke before, he finds it funny that taerae just repeated it to him.

"at least if i die, i'll die having heard your beautiful voice".

taerae scrunches his nose, lightly slapping y/n in the shoulder. y/n lightly squeaks, rolling ever just the slightest and dramatically clutches his stomach, as if taerae had just sentenced him to death.

"shut up before i change my mind" taerae spits out at him, knowing that was such a lie. he looks down at his hand, which is just caressing the strings of his guitar.

how does one even find themself in such a circumstance?

25 days before.

"where do you think we go when we die?"

the question catches taerae off guard. he notices the way y/n's eyes continue to go down, his eyelids are probably feeling heavy, taerae thinks. he's insanely tired, they both are. besides that, he rubs his eyes and patiently waits for taerae's answer.

"well.. i'm of the belief that there isn't really an afterlife" taerae answers. "i— i feel like, in my opinion, it's more comforting that i just get to die, and that's that, i don't know how i'd feel dying then just.. having to open my eyes again".

y/n's face stays unmoving for a moment, but then he smiles. "when i was younger, my mom told me that when i died, my soul would move on, while my body stayed on earth".

"she was never, you know, specific about it, she said some people go to good places and some people go to bad places after they die, but it all depends on they life they did lead, and the life they could've lead".

y/n doesn't look at taerae, instead resorting to picking at his skin, which taerae notices is a bad habit of his. he scoots closer towards y/n and pushes his hands apart, feeling displeased by the uncanny silence that now washes over them.

"your mom.. she sounds sweet" taerae mumbles, keeping his hands on top of y/n's. he doesn't really realize it, though, because it just feels so natural. y/n doesn't usually talk about things like this, he's the funny, comedic, kind of person, he doesn't talk about serious stuff, it's not his thing.

taerae assumes it's the sleep deprivation, the stress, the idea that he or taerae get could killed at any moment gives him extreme anxiety. yeah he tries to pass it off, but taerae can tell, his overprotective nature isn't outrightly obvious, but you can clearly see it in the bits and pieces of his personality that shine through.

he stops with just leaving his hand on top of y/n's, and begins holding y/n's hand in itself, intertwining their fingers, y/n also intertwines their fingers together, finding comfort in the way taerae decided to hold his hand.

"yeah she was, she.. died while a medic in war".

y/n plays with taerae's fingers, taerae thinks it's because he's afraid he'll cry that he doesn't look up, and he gets it, so he doesn't say more. y/n sighs, his voice barely above a whisper. "i don't—" he pauses for a moment. "i don't want to lose you taerae".

taerae's eyes widen, his mind begins racing, his heart begins beating faster, and he feels himself get warmer, despite the cold air that surrounds them. "you've become important to me, i feel like i need to protect you".

the words hit taerae like something he can't even describe, a heavy sigh escapes his lips as he thinks about, and he tightens his hold on y/n's hand. "it's a two way thing you know" taerae mutters. "don't worry, i won't let anything happen to you".

and for once, taerae wasn't listening to his head.

he was listening to his heart.

10 days before.

"the stars look pretty tonight".

y/n reaches over to grab taerae's hand, and tugs him closer, his eyes focused on the sky. taerae looks over at him, staring like he's the most beautiful person in the world, he's grateful that y/n can't just how much he's staring.

"can you identify the constellations?" he asks, and y/n finally looks back at him, closing his eyes as he lets out a laugh. "what? it's a totally normal question to ask when talking about stars!"

y/n shakes his head, then he looks back up at the sky, pointing. "that, is cassiopeia" he states, and taerae narrows his eyes, tilting his head to get a better look at the sky. "or in other words, the most boring constellation".

"cassiopeia? the most boring?" taerae snickers.

"yeah, scorpion is the most interesting one".

"um, no, it's definitely lyra".

"you wanna bet?"

"oh definitely! you'll lose!"

4 days before.

"are we gonna talk after this?"

the question makes y/n laugh. taerae notices that's how he responds to most questions, by laughing, maybe being by his side for about three months now has made him notice all these little things he barely saw when he first met y/n.

the idea of thinking about the future of.. well— them, scares him in a way.

staring at y/n is enough to instantly make him smile, he doesn't know when he decides to drop his whole act, when he decided to stop being so cold, why y/n is the one person that was able to remove him from the shell he once perfectly secured himself in.

to be honest though, he doesn't mind anymore.

"of course, why would we not?"

"i'm afraid you'd be certified too 'cool' for me once we return" taerae admits rather shyly, looking down at the floor despite the fact that he was laying down. y/n laughs once again, tucking taerae's hair behind his ear.

he pats his lap, and taerae lays his head down onto his lap, sighing. "i don't know, people perceive me in such a certain way that i'm scared you will too.." he says, feeling a little better as y/n runs his fingers through his hair.

"well, i know you a lot better than you think, taerae" y/n says, sounding sure of himself. taerae looks up at him, thinking for a moment, then smiling, then laughing.

"you sure do have a way with your words, y/n".

"thank you".

that was when taerae knew.

he was in love.

so in love.

the day of.

"i have a bad feeling about this".

taerae pauses, watching as y/n packs his stuff. "do you know how far astria is? what if you like.. have an accident on the way there?" taerae didn't mean to sound overly protective, really, he didn't, it just came naturally to him, especially when it came to y/n, and now that it was coming to this.

"it'll be fine, rae, you know i've been through worse".

"it's better to be safe than sorry, y/n".

y/n looks up at taerae, a snicker coming to his face accompanied by a smile. "i thought we talked about this yesterday, if you want me to stay, i can" he reminds taerae, the words pretty much echoing in his mind.

of course i want you to stay! but that would be so selfish of me! in these past three months you've never thought about yourself! it would be selfish of me to want you to stay when all you've done is for me..

"no, it's okay" taerae smiles. "it's alright, if it's for your own good, then you should go".

oh who was he kidding?

taerae hated the idea of y/n having to go, yeah they probably would be reunited in the next 10 hours, but they idea of the person he's been with for the past three months suddenly going off on his own gives so much more anxiety than he thought.

but at the same time, he feels horrible thinking like this.

what has y/n ever done but be selfless? even from the first moment they met, had y/n ever thought about himself? no, he hadn't. he thought about taerae and taerae only, he could've left taerae for dead at any moment, there were so many times where taerae felt— no, he knew that y/n was tired, so tired, but he still supported him.

he hates feeling like he's holding him back, like he's the reason y/n can't do more, like he's the reason he can't fulfill everything he's ever wanted.

"don't think so much" y/n walks up to taerae, placing his hands on his shoulder. he stares at him with so much love, that taerae almost considers crying, but he manages to stop himself from coming to tears. "i'm going to be okay, you know i can't be taken out that easily".

"don't jinx yourself" taerae barely manages to get it out, and he feels his voice break. y/n's face falls, and he caresses taerae's cheek, pressing a kiss onto his forehead.

"there's no need to worry about me, i'll be fine".

he had to confirm it twice, that meant he wasn't going to be fine.

and taerae was right, he wasn't.

he just wished he did more convincing and made y/n stay.

7 days after.

"i'm surprised how someone like you survived on their own".

"hao!"

taerae glances between the people, and he just gives an awkward smile. the smallest one of the group nudges zhang hao, who yelps, punching him in the waist. "don't be mean to taerae, he's obviously traumatized" matthew then turns to taerae, and smiles sympathetically.

taerae hates it.

"no i— i actually had a partner" taerae replies. at the words, both hanbin and matthew perk up. "it was a few months we were together before.. well— i don't know actually".

hanbin makes an 'o' shape with his mouth, his gaze quickly softening. hao narrows his eyes, and matthew is simply silent as he stares at taerae, who quickly zones out as he focuses on the mug in his hands. "we weren't informed you had a partner".

"well, he's dead" taerae states without thinking, his voice sounds dead, it's so empty that it's enough to startle hanbin. matthew opens his mouth, unsure at how to respond to such a stern statement. "sorry, was that rude in some way?"

"no no it wasn't rude!" hanbin says, waving his hands back and forth, he's waving them so much in fact, that hao has to put his hands down to stop him from moving so much. "we were just.. startled that's all".

"uh huh" taerae's face stays the same way it was before, and he plays with the spoon in his mug, not even bothering to take a sip of the now cooled tea. "so what? that's all you wanted to know?"

zhang hao opens his mouth, thinking of what he was going to say next, but then pausing to narrow his eyes and stare at taerae's shirt. there's a daisy pinned right to his shirt, just right out in the open, as if made to be obvious. "you like daisies?" he inquiries, looking up at taerae.

taerae doesn't even need to look down to realize what he's staring at, he just closes his eyes. "yeah" he responds flatly.

"my favorite flower".

#kim taerae #zerobaseone #zb1 #zerobaseone kim taerae #zb1 kim taerae #zerobaseone taerae #zb1 taerae #zerobaseone imagines #zerobaseone drabbles #zerobaseone scenarios #zb1 imagines #zb1 drabbles #zb1 scenarios #kim taerae x reader #kim taerae x male reader #𑁍 ࣪˖ 𓂃 isa's works!

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neppednep · 2 months

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Hello! I would like a request for Madoka Magica

Mami or Sayaka with the reader looking like Gojo Satoru from Jujutsu Kaisen (like he is very strong but arrogant)

Sayaka Miki w/ Gojo!Reader

I choose Sayaka for this one, as I haven't touched her yet and I already have something in the kitchen cooking w/ Mami. May or may not have to do with everyone's favorite spin-off manga. In any case, hope she isn't too OOC. Enjoy.

》 If she claimed Madoka was a cute anime character, you'd bet she'd convince herself you were the main character of some battle shonen manga.

》 Seriously, what don't you have? You're hot, powerful, confident… hot. Who the hell is Kyosuke again?

》 She would be lying if she said she didn't have a bit of a crush. It would be hard not to fall for you. In the course of a few days her life practically did a 180 and was going to hell in a handbasket real fast.

》 She lost her crush to someone she considered one of her best friends, Mami died right in front of her, then that magical girl, a spit in the face to what a magical girl should be came along. She was powerless to stop her and she was falling into despair… that's when she first met you.

》 You may have been a bit arrogant, sure. The way you talked down to the red haired girl, tossing her around like a ragdoll with a smile on your face, treating her like nothing more than a minor nuisance may have not been the most ‘heroic.’ Yeah, she definitely enjoyed watching that girl get her comeuppance. After red was firmly planted in the concrete, you walked over to her and Madoka to check if they were still okay, Sayaka couldn't help but blush as she stared up at you.

》 In Sayaka’s eyes, there were two people she hoped to be like. Mami, the girl who introduced her to all this magical girl stuff. She was kind and caring, saving many innocent lives with a smile on her face, even if she did end up dying, she did it fighting against evil. Then there was you. You weren't selfish like that other girl, even with all that power. You were untouchable yet still cared for others who were quite frankly far below you. If she also had that kind of power and had the mindset of Mami…

》 From there, the two of you start meeting a lot more often. She's far weaker than she'd like to admit, and she had to learn that the hard way. All great heroes had to have someone to teach them at some point, so if she's going to become the Magical Girl of Justice, she might as well tag along and see what she can learn. She never really gets tired of seeing you crush witches and familiars with ease. No matter what kind of weird powers they may have, she's relieved to know you'll make it out fine and have her back In the process.

》 Eventually you did end up explaining more about magical girls to her. She wasn't too big a fan of essentially just being a gem, going into schizo mode and going on about how she's just a zombie and such. She wasn't really listening to you when you told her it isn't all bad and tried explaning the perks… so you took her sword and stabbed yourself in the neck. That understandably spooked her back into the real world, but it at least gave you time to explain everything to her. Your thanks was a swift smack and getting called an idiot. Tough crowd.

》 Luckily, with you by her side she never fell into despair, having someone there to remind her what she’a fighting for, keeping her grounded, and helping her grow into the best hero she could be really helped. She never really got over her crush, and she really wanted to confess. Turns out after seeing how powerful you are and the whole thing of essentially just being an empty husk got to her head and made her doubt herself.

》 After putting her pride aside and going to Madoka, who she is much more protective over after finding out the truth about magical girls, she was talked into going through with it, only having to wait until whatever she thought would be a good time to ask.

》 After thanking her best friend and leaving, she ended up running into Homura who recruited her to help against a very powerful witch who was supposed to be appearing soon. She just brushed her off, saying she'll help but I'm reality she suspected she wouldn't have to do much at all. With you there, everything would be fine. Maybe even after the battle she would finally ask you out. Then the day finally came…

“So, this is the strongest witch, huh?” You say to yourself, arms crossed with a confident smile on your face.

Sayaka nods, seemingly put at ease by your presence despite the inevitable battle to come. “Strongest witch vs. the strongest magical girl(?). You think you can win?”

“I'm disappointed you'd even ask that of me Sayaka.” You sigh, pushing off the wall you were leaning on and taking a step towards the edge of the roof you two were standing on.

“Wow, am I finally going to see the great Y/N get a run for his money?” She playfully retorts, lightly jabbing you with her elbow.

You just huff, glacing at her before bringing your attention back to Walpurgisnacht.

Y/N:

#sayaka miki x reader #sayaka x reader #madoka magica x reader #madoka magica #puella magi madoka magica #sayaka miki

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stromuprisahat · 3 months

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Do you think there's discourse among the grisha

Like the younger Grisha fight over the words bloodletter and witch and if Grisha is outdated/a slur and we really should be using odarannye

Meanwhile Ivan is off somewhere to the side like 'I cannot WAIT until you lot go off to the front, let's see if you're still worrying about fuckin WORDS while dodging Fjerdan FUCKIN axes'

Absolutely!

If not in general, officer brats definitely do shit like that. I mean:

The servants sprang forward to pull our chairs out and clear the dishes. I doubted I’d ever get used to being waited on this way. “Ne brinite,” Marie said with a giggle. “What?” I asked, baffled. “To e biti zabavno.” Nadia giggled. “She said, ‘Don’t worry. It will be fun.’ It’s Suli dialect. Marie and I are studying it in case we get sent west.” “Ah,” I said. “Shi si yuyan Suli,” said Sergei as he strode past us out of the domed hall. “That’s Shu for ‘Suli is a dead language.’” Marie scowled and Nadia bit her lip. “Sergei is studying Shu,” whispered Nadia. “I got that,” I replied. Marie spent the entire walk to the stables complaining about Sergei and the other Corporalki and debating the merits of Suli over Shu. Suli was best for missions in the northwest. Shu meant you’d be stuck translating diplomatic papers. Sergei was an idiot who was better off learning to trade in Kerch. She took a brief break to point out the banya ... then launched immediately into a rant about selfish Corporalki overrunning the baths every night.

Shadow and Bone- Chapter 9

While Alina isn't the most reliable narrator, she might be onto something, when she has her super powerful re-organisation speech:

“The Darkling has changed. If we have any hope of beating him, we need to change, too. Two Grisha from each Order,” I repeated. “And the Orders will no longer sit separately. You’ll sit together, eat together, and fight together.” At least I’d gotten them to shut up. They just stood there, gaping. ... “But … but it’s always been this way,” sputtered Sergei. “You can’t just overturn hundreds of years of tradition,” protested the Inferni. “Are we really going to argue about this, too?” I asked irritably. “We’re at war with an ancient power beyond reckoning, and you want to squabble over who sits next to you at lunch?” “That’s not the point,” said Zoya. “There’s an order to things, a way of doing them that—” They all started gabbling again—about tradition, about the way things were done, about the need for structure and people knowing their places. I set the cover back down on the dish with a loud clang. “This is the way we’re doing it,” I said, rapidly losing patience. “No more Corporalki snobbery. No more Etherealki cliques. And no more herring.”

Siege and Storm- Chapter 14*

But then looking at this, they seem to be more likely screaming about Grisha being traditional name, oddarenye innovatory bullshit and zowa foreign nonsense.

It's like watching US movie about those university fraternities. Wording and notions are the same. Traditions, order of things, enmity between "different" groups and spiteful actions. Pretty sure we could extrapolate a little and add creepy/humiliating/kinky initiation rituals etc.

Ivan's totally right. They truly need some hardcore reality vibe check.

_____

* I'll get into the S&S quote deeper, once I'll get to that chapter, because OHMYFUCKINGGODS, Aleksander "Eat, drink, dress the same like my subordinates" would surely tolerate such behaviour in his own ranks.

#reply #Grishaverse #grishanalyticritical #Second Army #Ivan Kaminsky #S&B Chapter 9 #S&S Chapter 14 #books #quotes #Leigh Bardugo

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kawaiibitchyfemale · 6 months

Text

Rant

Sometimes i’m so tired. Tired of feeling. Tired of making mistakes. It just makes me want to give up and stop trying altogether. But I know if I’d do that things would only get worse and I don’t want that either.

I know there are ways for me to eventually learn healthy coping mechanisms. One thing at therapy stuck with me though: you can’t stop feeling. There is no magical potion for me to stop feeling and experiencing emotions and feelings the way I do but I can learn to deal with them.

That just made me so sad, the realization, the acceptance of the fact that I will always feel the things I feel is awful. My first thoughts were: I don’t want to live if that is the case. Why would I want to try, fail, try again and fight my entire life so I can ‘deal’ with my feelings instead of making them less or just not having them at all.

It makes me really understand people with addictions and sometimes a bad part of my brain is like: Dude you should totally do that instead of the shit you’re doing right now. But I know getting addicted to something that won’t make me feel at all won’t help me in the long run and will potentially, probably definitely make things worse in the long run.

So, what are my options? Continue going to therapy, fuck up things a billion more times and then eventually there is hope that I can ‘deal’ with my feelings. That I could have the socially acceptable response instead of saying what I actually feel and think at that moment. I know they say it would help me too but would it though? Or am I just paying a lot of money, pushing myself into uncomfortable situations just so I could cater to others? Not harm them with me being me?

It hurts to be called selfish so often, especially when you don’t try to do things with malicious intent. I don’t even try to do things with an ulterior motive. I’m so mean to myself; others are so mean to me. And I’m so done with making mistakes almost every single day. I am exhausted, I am overwhelmed and have been for the longest time.

No one believes in me anymore and I don’t blame them. I tried and failed so many things. If someone continuously says they’re working on it and trying but they fail time and time again, would you still believe in that person? But it still sucks that they don’t. I’m so done with being a failure, an embarrassment. People say they don’t but I know everyone looks down on me. Like some sort of fucking idiot that they should clap for every time I do something which should fucking be the bare minimum for a functioning adult. I’m so disgusted by myself. Always creating situations that are the opposite of what I want, always making people hate me time and time again. I just want to be loved, I wish I could be happy, or at least not miserable and feel so much all the time.

I learned that I should stop sharing my feelings and keep things to myself more often. Maybe I can eventually poison myself with my own thoughts and leave it at that.

I can’t talk with other people, because no one every really understands. That’s fine though, I’m so happy for them that they can’t. But it often makes me feel so alone. And then I fucking drain my loved ones time and time again by trying to talk to them but when did it ever help though? When did it do good?

I just don’t like being with myself. My head is not a nice place to be.

I even am disgusted by this entire thing I’m typing because it makes me sick and angry that a person that causes so much harm ( me ) can talk with so much petty about themselves. Blergh. Gross.

I’m tried, I wish I could stop feeling. I wish I could stop having opinions. I wish I just wasn’t me dude. I don’t like me, I sometimes don’t want to fight for me, I just want to delete myself from this earth and have people forget I ever existed. I don’t want to be a bother, but I am. To them and myself. I’m a stain that needs to be erased so others can be happy. Not be influenced by me. I’m too selfish, I have too many feelings and for 26 years now already I have been failing at doing better. When does one know when to give up tho? When have I tried enough that it is justified and not frowned upon to give up?

I know I must not give up, I know there is hope and that I have improved already over the years. But sometimes I swear I’m so tired, it’s so difficult and I just wonder why I do it. It’s not like I have the biggest will to live anyway. It’s not as if I have a future planned. I didn’t even think I’d make it this far tbh so I’m just winging it and trying to be a responsible adult.

Working, trying hard for others, going to therapy. But sometimes I’m so lost with who I really am and what I actually want. Especially when half of the time others say my thoughts / feelings / plans aren’t valid or will end up to nothing. Argh I’m ranting, I could go on forever but enough is enough. No more self pity. I guess I’ll try again tomorrow.

#bpd #bpd problems #actually bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd feels #mental health #heartache #rant #mental illness #relationship

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kazoosandfannypacks · 1 year

Text

"Open to Interpretation" by kazoosandfannypacks

Chapter 14/16: Your Heart's Desire Pairing: CaptainSwan Rating: General Word Count: (1K/24K) Summary: Emma Swan is appalled at works by modern artist Killian Jones- until a handsome stranger convinces her otherwise- and after introducing himself as the artist in question, he invites her out on a date. As their relationship develops, they find that they might not be as different from each other as originally though. Chapter Summary: Killian realizes fully where he stands in his father's eyes. Tags: au, fluff, captain swan, modern au Author's notes: n/a Taglist: @zahara @kmomof4 @jonesfandomfanatic @booksteaandtoomuchtv @jrob64 @tiganasummertree @anmylica @teamhook @undercaffinatednightmare @gingerchangeling @lonelyspectator @caught-in-the-filter @ultraluckycatnd @cs-rylie @pirateprincessofpizza @lfh1226-linda @pawshapedheart [if you'd like to be added to or removed from this list, hmu in my dms or askbox!]

Also on Ao3!

Killian tried to calm down a little and not spoil the rest of the day. After they'd had some cake and listened to everyone say some nice things about Liam, Killian could make some fake excuse about having to get back to the museum soon for something, then he and Emma could dip out and get away from here.

"I never should've brought her here," Killian thought, "what kind of selfish idiot am I? I brought her because I knew having her would help me- but I didn't even stop to consider how dear old dad would treat her. I never should've brought her here. How am I ever going to win her heart now that she knows what my family's like?"

She seemed to have almost forgotten the whole incident by the time they cut into the cake, and seemed to be having a great conversation with Liam and Uncle Nemo about something- Killian wasn't paying much attention to this conversation though, as he and his dad were apparently in a contest to see who could discreetly pass the other the most displeased glare.

Eventually, Brennan said he'd like to raise a toast to Liam, to congratulate him on his accomplishment.

"I've never been more proud in my life," he said, "I've always been proud of Liam, but especially today. He's the most thoughtful and witty son a father could ask for, and it's been an unmatched delight to see the man he's become."

"At least dad has one son he cares about," Killian thought.

"This summer, Liam's going to begin his apprenticeship with my brother, Nemo," Brennan said, "he'll start doing some real work, helping others and making the world a better place as a contractor."

The eye contact he gave Killian made it evident those words were meant to slight him. He'd never supported Killian's art career, to this day still thinking he could be doing something better with his life.

"I hope you know how happy I am that you came into my life, Liam," Brennan said, "you and your mother filled a hole in my heart I never thought could be repaired. I love you more than you'll ever know, and am so proud of you. May the wind fill your sails and the sun rise to meet you, Liam."

KIllian bit his lip, trying to keep it together, his father's words finally confirming a suspicion he'd always had- he was trying to replace his mom and Lee with Fiona and Liam. He was filling their place in his heart with someone else, like they never mattered to him at all, like he almost thought it'd be better to forget they ever existed.

But how could he forget his late wife when their son still stood before them? How could he forget Lee when so much of who Killian was was learned from him?

He couldn't.

He couldn't fill their space in his life without pushing Killian out of it.

"No wonder he doesn't want me in his life anymore," Killian thought, "I'm just a reminder of the hole in his heart he thought he couldn't fill."

His dad walked by, not even looking at Killian, to shake hands with and give a hug to his son, Liam- the only son he had room in his life for.

Emma pulled out her phone and looked at the time.

"Oh, Killian," she said, touching his arm to get his attention, "don't we need to be leaving soon? You had that commitment at the museum tonight."

"I don't remember anything like that," Killian thought, but then saw Emma wink at him.

"Oh," he laughed, winking at her, "I'd almost forgotten."

"You have to leave already?" Liam asked.

"The museum needs me to promote a new work tonight," Killian said, "I'd almost forgotten." He gave Liam a hug and they said their goodbyes, and within three minutes they were in the car on their way back, having had the good sense to reload their belongings in it that morning and telling Fiona she could keep the dish he'd brought the potato salad in until next time he saw them.

---

Killian browsed all the thoughts in his mind as they left town, trying to find one thought to say that would convey what he wanted. As grateful as he was at Emma's escape plan, he knew what it meant- she was feeling just as uncomfortable as he was.

"I'm such a jerk," Killian thought, "What kind of idiot would bring someone he loves into this kind of disaster?"

Emma was like the most precious, exotic, delicate, beautiful flower in the whole world world, and what he'd done, bringing her into this mess- and putting her into a compromising position where she'd be a target for his dad- it was like he'd seen that beautiful flower, repotted it in playground sand in a mayonnaise tub, and then locked it in a dark, moldy closet, just because he thought it was beautiful and foolishly deemed himself worthy of it.

And so, they drove in silence, Killian unsure what to even begin to say. "No offense," Emma said, using her sharp tongue to break the ice, "but your dad's a creep."

"None taken," Killian said.

"I just couldn't stick around there," Emma shook her head.

"I'm so sorry for bringing you." Killian said, "I didn't expect him to be so unkind to you."

"Me?" Emma asked, seeming shocked that he even said that, "I made up that excuse to get you out of there."

"Me?" Killian asked, surprised and confused, "why?"

"Your dad pretty much publicly disowned you there after giving you a ride on the guilt trip of your life because of me."

"I know that, Swan," Kilian said, taking his eyes off the road a moment to try to read her, reminding himself again of how gorgeous she was, "but why did you feel the need to get me out of it? I'm used to my dad." "You shouldn't have to be," Emma said, placing a hand on his shoulder, "You deserve to be treasured."

He half laughed, but when he looked at Emma, she seemed genuine.

"Thank you, love," Killian said, wishing he didn't have to have both hands on the steering wheel, "to hear such a beautiful treasure call me a treasure in return is flattering, to say the least."

Emma's flustered smile returned.

"Do you wanna grab a bite to eat on the way back?" Killian asked, "my treat?"

"Sounds great," Emma said, "pizza or chinese?"

"Your heart's desire," he said, trying to romance her with even his own indecision.

"Nuh-uh," she said, "you just had the worst day of your life, and you're treating me. We're having your heart's desire."

"All my heart desires is you," Killian said.

"Pizza, then?" Emma asked.

"Sounds perfect."

"Not as perfect as someone else I know."

He looked at her and smiled, hoping they came upon a pizza place soon, so that he could stop worrying about driving and give Emma his undivided attention.

#captain swan #once upon a time #killian jones #emma swan #ouat #cs ff #cs fanfiction #cs au #once upon a time season 6 #brennan jones #liam jones ii #captain nemo ouat

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pyrofury · 1 year

Text

Good Luck Charm

Boji found his silver lining to being cursed after all.

The sun had yet to make its trek across the horizon. The night drowned most of the color of the grassy plains. Boji held onto the stead being led by Bebin in search of his comrade. Mitsumata’s offspring combed thru the land and in turn, found what they were looking for.

I am doing the right thing…right? Boji shook that thought out of his head. He made his decision. It wasn’t time to second guess anymore. He un-mounted the horse and took off. Bebin took his leave wishing his short-served King luck.

Growing up as a prince he had a lot to be thankful for. He was privileged in that even with his supposed defect people accommodated him. There were others completely worse off. But…

It wasn’t enough to stop him from being selfish and hurt by the words of others. Words that even if he couldn’t hear them still seared and dug into his skin.

Weak, idiot, incompetent the list went on. It was the same cycle over and over. People who were sworn to his father and by extension him and his family were the same people whose lips read differently than what they communicated to him. Liars who he couldn’t help but love all the same. From his closest people, there was love but there was no faith. That hurt more than the injuries Daida had inflicted on him.

------

“You won that fight and made it look easy.” Thinking of it as false flattery Boji showed his tired smile. He pointed to the rest of his wardrobe so the member of the shadow clan would take his fill and his leave.

“No, I’m not here for that.” Kage’s eyes in that moment reflected what the little prince could make out as remorse.

“I know how this is gonna sound and I get that it’s outta nowhere… I just...I’m on your side alright! No matter what happens.”

------

He didn’t know at the time if those words were lies but he wanted to believe them. He needed it. So he clung to them. He never felt so relieved after crying more tears he became lighter.

His memory went back to the conversation with his teacher (the good one).

“You know why the gas of the underworld entrance didn’t kill the two of you right?” Despa asked while buttering his toast at breakfast. He wondered if they knew of their own predicaments or at least what he surmised himself.

“Uhh, we kinda assumed it must have been knock-out gas.” Kage answered taking a bite of his toast. Boji already cleared his plate and sat listening while wondering if it would be okay to ask for seconds.

“Heavens no, it’s actually cursed gas meant to kill anyone not permitted in the underworld.”

“So you sayin we got lucky?” Kage’s eyes widened from that tidbit of knowledge.

“Well luck may not be the right wording..” it looked like he would have to explain some things.

So curses deflected or canceled one another…It made sense now looking back on it. One of no strength and the other with a body that brought mistrust and scorn from others. Those were their curses. As fate would have it their paths crossed.

“A good luck charm will keep you from misfortune so long as you keep it close."

Good luck charm, encourager, and friend. Kage brought out hope and that gave him the strength he never thought possible. In turn, Boji vowed to always trust him.

“King or not if you find something which truly matters to you. You ought to pursue that something with all your heart. “

Following his mother's words He would make his own kingdom. One that would accept and value them. Would it be possible? Even if it wasn’t this journey would be fun!

Kage was surprised but happy to see his friend. Even with the new goals Boji placed he would back his friend up.

“So you still got even more to learn is that right? Meaning we gotta run off on a whole nother journey now. Hey, you brought some coin didn’t cha?” Kage asked. His eyes lit up at the gold Boji showed in his satchel. “ a king’s ransom!”

“Auggh eh!” Let’s go!

“Wahoo!” They both sprang in excitement with their legs carrying them to their next destination.

“Than-k y-ou!” Boji didn’t need to turn back to know why Kage’s voice was wobbly. Tears were also coming from Boji’s own eyes. thank you. Please stay by my side.

If it meant he had Kage by his side then Boji would be content to remain cursed alongside his friend for the rest of his days.

Notes:

I don’t actually know if there is a theory that their curses cancel each other out in a limited sense but I thought that would be cute for them.

#ousama ranking #ranking of kings #fanfiction #bojji and kage #prince bojji #kage

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jadekitty777 · 1 year

Text

Love on Borrowed Tai: Chapter 7

I have a more important update today! The long awaited (?) final chapter of the Taiqrow RWBY Pokemon Au... is now complete! It took me a bit longer than I was expecting, but I hope it was well worth it!

Rating: T overall

Word Count: 9k

Summary: Tai’s life was simple. He rescued and rehabilitated injured Pokemon, helping them get back on their feet and back into the world. Then fate decided to throw him a curveball in the form of Qrow Branwen.

He had no idea how to rehabilitate a person… but his natural goodwill, and maybe a speck of loneliness, made him want to try.

Qrow was lost in more ways than one. With no home, no job, and his team and himself left severely injured, he finds himself desperately turning to the one man in Alola who could help him.

…A man he’d already met once before, but could never tell him how. [Pokemon AU]

Ao3 Link: Chapter 7

Tai couldn't sleep.

The day had been a whirlwind of emotion. They didn't talk much more after the end of the story. It was clear to him Qrow was no longer up for it and he wasn't going to push. Well, not anymore than he already had at least - and it was clear to him now that it had been too much.

Tai's guilt over his own selfish impatience could have filled the Bottomless Sea until it wasn't bottomless anymore.

Somehow, by the miracle of Arceus, he had managed to convince Qrow to return home with him and even let his Pokemon back out. But between Qrow's quiet and bizarrely meek behavior and the way it took no effort to convince him to just take the day off, it was certain something between them had shifted. Something bad.

Qrow wouldn't even look him in the eyes anymore.

So now here he was, sitting on the back porch of the greenhouse in the middle of the night, wallowing in his own self-pity.

"Idiot." Tai whispered, lowering his head until it pressed against the rim of his mug.

"You have your mother's temper, that's for sure." His dad had said once, long ago.

A teenager at the time, Tai couldn't even remember what he was angry about, just that he was, and was willing to take potshots as he scoffed back into the phone. "That why you two split?"

He was surprised by his dad's genuine laughter. "Hah! No. I love that about her. She's a firework of a woman. Kept me on my toes." His amusement petered off soon after. "But that isn't to say it didn't cause us problems. It'll get you into trouble one day too, if you don't learn to rein it in."

Tai wished he had listened to him.

He wished he was still here, so he could talk to him, ask him for advice like he used to.

A swell of sudden remorse caught in his throat. He pushed the palm of his hand against one of his stinging eyes, repeating, "Idiot..."

He might of let go, if not for the creak of the house door swinging open. He jerked his head around.

"Oh." Qrow said quietly, hesitantly, one foot out the threshold, slowly being pulled back. "Uh, I'll just-"

"No!" Tai called and it came out like a croak. He coughed to clear it. "I mean, join me? Please?"

He didn't expect Qrow to take it - wouldn't blame him if he didn't. So he was both surprised and pleased when he instead stepped forward, shutting the door behind himself and Yoraito before meandering his way over. He took a seat next to him, shoulders tense and hunched.

Tai could feel the various stares of the other trainer's Pokemon around the greenhouse watching them. Judging him.

In an effort to spur up some sort of conversation, he held out his mug in offering. "Tea? I, uh, haven't had any of it."

"Oh uh, sure." The hand off was as awkward as their words, but at least Qrow didn't hesitate to take a drink. A second later, his nose wrinkled and he set it beside himself. "Uh, how long ago did you make this?"

Tai had no idea. He didn't even know what time it was.

Instead of saying that, he blurted out, "Sorry."

"S'no biggy. Ain't picky."

"No, not about that." Tai clarified, "About... everything else. This morning and... how I acted. I completely flew off the handle and that wasn't - I mean I shouldn't of-" He grunted, raking a hand through his hair. Why was this so hard? "Fuck I'm just... so sorry."

At least Qrow was looking at him now. Too bad he only seemed confused. "Don't be. I fucking lied to you."

"That doesn't mean I should... intimidate you." The word felt vile on his tongue.

He frowned. Turned away. "Yeah well. I deserved it."

For a moment, the words took him off guard. But it didn't take long for his mind to right itself. Of course Qrow would say that. He didn't know if the defeatist attitude had come around from recent events or if it was something that he'd had much sooner in life - either way, Tai knew he couldn't allow it. Not this time.

"No. You didn't. You never did Qrow." When the other started to shake his head, a rebuttal no doubt on the tip of his tongue, Tai cut him off, "No, I mean it. Nothing that day was your fault. I don't think it was anyone's fault."

"But if I had just hit the right button-"

"How did you know you didn't?" Tai challenged. "How do you know it just wasn't too late?" When no response came immediately, he pushed his advantage, "Everyone played a part. Ozpin and Salem trusted their research. You and my family trusted them. But it doesn't sound like any of you wanted what happened to happen. It just... did." He placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently. "And I know it's hard, because you're here and they're not, but that doesn't mean you don't deserve to be here."

Much like this morning, Qrow shucked off his hand, grumbling, "Don't act like you wouldn't of wanted your dad or grandma here."

His thoughts just minutes earlier stung anew.

"Of course I do." Tai agreed. "But not in place of you. Qrow, I'm glad I met you - or well, re-met you, I guess. I enjoy your company and I've really come to-" Like you with the burning intensity of a thousand Moltres, "-Value you as a friend."

Qrow studied him, as if looking for the lie, before he groaned. "Why are you like this? You should hate me! I... kind of wish you would."

"Why?"

"I guess 'cause I want someone to agree with all this fucking mess up here." He waved blindly at his own head. "Doesn't that sound ridiculous?"

"Pff. Well you can forget that. When you're completely ass backwards wrong, you better believe I'm gonna tell you." Tai declared.

Qrow rolled his eyes, "Well thank you for that."

"You're welcome." He chirped with extra cheer.

He considered it a win when the side of Qrow's mouth turned upward ever so slightly.

And for the first time since this morning, he started to feel like they were going to be okay after all.

To Tai's surprise, things fell back into relative normalcy quickly. Not in regards to himself, of course; while he'd always been quick to anger, he was just as quick to peace. Keeping grudges was something he'd grown up being told he should never keep lest he wanted his heart in constant turmoil. Besides, even if he had wanted to hold onto it, after learning all he had, how could he?

No, what truly surprised him was Qrow. He'd expected the other man to avoid him at least a few more days or, at the very least, tiptoe around him much like he had when he'd first arrived. But perhaps a bit of Alola's Pono way had touched upon Qrow's consciousness, as by the next morning, he was already back out on the field, crude and rude as ever.

It was unequivocally a relief to see.

A week later, just shortly after dinner, Qrow even offered softly, "If you still want to ask questions, about your dad or anything... you can."

So Tai did. He started small, a simple question or two every few days.

"When did you realize it was me?"

"Your signature on the form you gave me, that day in the hospital. Seeing it, and how much you look like Huáng, I knew it wasn't a coincidence. I think that was the first time I really came to grips with what had happened."

"Must of been... a lot."

"Tch, doesn't even cover it buddy."

"I'm sorry you had to face all that alone."

"Yeah well... I did it to myself. Coulda told you ages ago. Only told Shamlocks a few days ago."

"Speaking of which-!"

"Ow! Why'd you pinch me?!"

"That's for telling Clover first!"

But then it became more and before he knew it, entire evenings were spent with Qrow regaling all sorts of tales he and his estranged family had gotten up too. Most nights it got them laughing, but some got a little more melancholy.

"Your dad would talk about you a lot."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah, he'd chat up anyone who would stop long enough to go on and on about the great new things you were up to. Hah, I don't think a single person in the office hadn't heard about the day you passed the first Alolan trial."

"Oh Arceus, please tell me you're exaggerating."

"Nooot even a little. He couldn't shut up about how his little Tai-terra was all grown up and soon you were gonna be a man and uh, - hey, are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah! I just - hic - haven't heard that nickname in a long time. Brought back a lot of memories is all."

"..."

"...Well uh, if it helps any, when he was mad at you, he'd call you his little Tai-terror instead."

"Pff... hahahahaha, of course he did!"

Despite the emotional rollercoasters, there was something safe and comforting about those talks. But, when he was feeling up to it, Qrow was often the one to start asking the hard questions.

"Isn't this weird for you? Seeing me as the same age I was when you were six?"

"I mean, don't take this offensively but I don't actually remember you too well."

"Gee, glad I left an impression."

"If you had, I think things would of been way more complicated right off the bat, don't you?"

"...Yeah I guess so."

"What about you?"

"Mm?"

"Is it weird for you, having known me since I was six?"

"Well, like, you're not really a person that young."

"You're a real advocate for human rights, you know that?"

"I'm just saying! I know logistically you and that mini you are one in the same but, I guess for my own sanity I'm not seeing you like that. Kids that young are blank slates, with pretty basic personalities, but you're, well, Taiyang. Though, I guess, if anything stayed the same it's your kindness. You used to give me flowers all the time."

"Fairy flowers."

"Huh?"

"I used to think your eyes were the coolest, so I would bring the flowers to you because they were the same color."

"Huh... I take it back, you apparently were always a sap too."

"HEY!"

And sometimes, neither of them were much up for questions, and just wondered aloud instead.

"Even after all this time, I still don't know how I escaped and wound up here. Last thing I can really picture is Dialga's eyes looking down at me. Everything else is just... gone."

"Maybe you slipped through another time thingy?"

"Real scientific conclusion."

"Hush. Though... I wonder..."

"What?"

"The day you arrived, there was an unusual storm. It was like it blew in and then just disappeared. Then Reaper was on Top Carat. I think that's what got you here, somehow."

"Tah! Too bad I can't explain it."

"Maybe we could ask Bart?"

"And have my ears bleed as he chatters himself out to the moon? No thanks."

"Come on, he's not that bad."

"...No, sometimes he's not."

Before they knew it, an entire month had passed.

And the big day had finally arrived.

The weather channel was on again.

Tai sighed softly, setting the last of the rinsed dishes in the drying rack and turning off the tap. He whipped the hand towel off the fridge door, patting his hands as he made his way around the kitchen, pretending to look for other things to tidy while discretely staring at the man in the other room.

Qrow was watching the TV gravely, face was lined with so much tension, it crackled along the air like a thundershock. Emerald and Yoraito bookended his thighs, dittoing furry comfort pillows. Something the reporter said made Qrow's eyebrows draw down, and he called, "They're saying the wind's at 8 knots now!"

This time, when Tai sighed, it was full of affection for this stupid, overdramatic fool. "That's perfect. You might even say... it's a breeze."

That managed to tear the man's gaze from the screen long enough to glare. "I pray a Dusknoir mistakes you for the dead today."

"Sorry, the only Reaper I'll be dealing with today is yours." He shot back, smug.

"Ugh. Hate you so much."

Funny, because he could kiss him right now.

Before he could think to follow through on that crazy impulse, there was a knock on the door.

"Surprise!" Was the greeting waiting for him after he opened the door, Clover smiling widely at him. Leis of all sorts and sizes hung from his arms, decked out enough to stand in for a western region's holiday tree.

A few short feet behind him, Bart poked his head around, waving. "We haven't missed it, have we?"

"No, no, not at all. We only just finished breakfast." Tai ushered the two of them in. "I'm glad you two could make it."

Their presence also managed to finally tear Qrow's gaze away. "You guys really didn't have t-" He paused, arched his brow. "What is all that?"

Clover grinned, holding up the miniature garden with pride. "Good luck charms! You can't have an event like this without them!"

"Why yes! It's a very important ritual of-" Bart piped up, before it was his turn to pause. "Actually I don't know what ritual this is."

Tai chuckled, fussing about the kitchen once more to brew a new pot of coffee. "It's not a ritual exactly. More of a superstition, really. Qrow's Pokemon are all at the end of their recovery programs. They won't need me from here." He turned on the burner. "In Alola, we consider any crossroads between the end of one life and the beginning of a new one to be critical. That's why they say you should always be wearing a good luck charm the moment it happens, because if you step into your new life on the wrong foot, then Tapu Lele will haunt you with your past and bring bad luck upon your new life. Usually it's for things like weddings or job promotions or getting a new Pokemon. I've always considered the end of a Pokemon's journey in my care to be the same. Though," He gave his oldest friend a pointed stare, "Not normally with quite this much fanfare."

In quite the imitation of a Lickilicky, Clover stuck his tongue out at him.

"Real mature Ebi."

Bart dropped a set of mugs along the counter, eyes alight. "Well I for one find it quite fascinating how much the four Guardians have shaped this region's culture and heritage. Don't you think Qrow?"

At some point, Qrow had drifted across the room and was inspecting one of the leis critically. "I suppose. Though, you really didn't have to go through all the trouble Clover."

"Oh please, if you think this is bad, you should come to my family's flower shop during tourist season. Now that's a nightmare of trouble." He laughed heartily in return. "And anyways, for all his grousing, it was actually Tai who asked me to make them."

"Oh he did, did he?"

Tai wasn't sure if the heat he suddenly felt was from the blush on his cheeks or Qrow's sudden gaze.

"Um, I mean." He cleared his throat, trying to pull himself together even as his words tumbled out like a group of Exeggcute down a hill. "It's an important day for you, and uh, everyone! And well, I uh, I want it to go well! Is, is all..."

Any haphazard embarrassment he was feeling quickly melted away at the sight of Qrow's smile. "Thank you."

He felt more confident than ever that today was going to be a perfect day.

As promised, the day was warm with a gentle breeze ruffling the fronds of the trees. Perfect weather for flying.

Tai looked up at Reaper, perched with anticipation on the roof, watching the progression below her with a hint of impatience. "Only a little longer, I promise Reaper!" He called to her.

With a low trill, she spread her wings and flapped them for the umpteenth time, giving them a flap that had just enough power behind it he could feel the gust, as if she hoped the sign of her disgruntlement would hurry along the show. It was so very much like her trainer, it was almost comical.

Speaking of...

"We better get this started before she takes off on her own." Qrow said as he came to stand beside him, smile bent crooked from nerves.

The reassuring response Tai wanted to give fizzled away as he got a gander at the other.

While he'd been in midst of preparations, Clover had been bestowing the leis upon the crowd - which included his and Qrow's Pokemon teams, Bart, Mocha, Kalā and Clover himself. All of them were made of simple deep green Alolan Ti leaves and Hibiscus flowers with alternating yellow and pink blooms.

But Qrow's was unlike any of theirs - while he still had Ti leaves, his had come from the Red Sister variant. Like the name implied, the shoots were a familiar light red shade that, just like fairy flowers, happened to match the man's eyes perfectly. But what truly caught his attention were the bright red and yellow Chrysanthemums dotted between the bushels.

Both items too precise to be anything but intentional.

Tai felt his cheeks heat up once more. That was the last time he told Clover anything.

As if called by his thoughts, the sneaky Impidimp approached, announcing, "Luckily for you, we've only got two more to give out."

"Two?" Qrow questioned, pointedly looking at the last one in his hand.

"You'll see." Clover promised, before turning to Tai. "Ready?"

"Of course." Tai dipped his head.

His own lei was delicately placed across his shoulders, Clover avowing, "May this bring you good luck to today's journey," as he draped the ends along his back and across his chest.

Next to him, Qrow gave a little snort. "We match."

"Almost." Clover's tone was as teasing as his smile, sauntering away with the smugness of a man who was pulling a prank only 50% of his audience was getting.

Tai straightened up, blinking down. Sure enough, red and yellow Chrysanthemums and Ti leaves that, at first glance, could be mistaken for Red Sister. But the leaves were not nearly as vibrantly reddened, rather they were almost pink, with stripes of laurel green and sunglow yellow cutting through the blade.

Morning Sunshine.

That settled it. Next Pokemon that came into his care who knew Curse was being sent straight to Clover's house.

"Now to the star of the show!" Clover's voice had risen, loud and clear. He stood closer to the barn, peering up at the fearsome bird atop her throne. "I'm afraid I wasn't able to find enough material to make a lei large enough for you Reaper, so will you allow Kalā to do the honors?"

With all her agitation, Tai almost expected her to disagree. So it was to his surprise that her only response was to lower her head, much like the rest of them had.

A little shadow dashing forward did the disagreeing for her.

"Bre, Bre, Br-eon!"

Yoraito's yaps turned into a squeak as Qrow scooped him up under one arm, pinning him to his chest. He clamped a hand around his muzzle, quietening him further. "Hush. She's not gonna hurt her."

A few months ago, weeks ago even, Qrow never would have dared to be so rough. As if he thought he'd irrevocably shatter his eeveelution if he didn't treat him like he was made of the finest porcelain. Actually, he seemed to handle almost everything with an overcautious air about him, whether it be Pokemon or people.

(Even me, Tai mused curiously.)

Maybe it was their talk that did it. Maybe it was the days afterwards that proved the world wouldn't immediately end after things got rough. Maybe it was something else entirely that he had missed. But Qrow had become bolder. Brasher. But also more relaxed.

It was relieving to see.

"Magical Leaf!"

At Clover's call, Qrow tensed up.

(Though, he still had his hang ups. And that was okay too.)

Tai placed a hand on his shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze.

Before them, the blades along the Leafeon's body began to glow, and with a toss of her head, a volley of leaves burst forward, flying at the corvid. But rather than strike, they seemed to surround Reaper in an array, floating delicately in place.

"Alright Kalā, finish it up with Grass Knot."

"Leee!" Kalā's eyes glowed in response to her master's call, and from the stems and blade tips of the leaves, vines began to grow, reaching out for the one beside it like set of dancers reaching for their partners. Upon touching, the vines tied together, until each one had found a mate and the circle was complete.

The newly formed lei fell into place around Reaper's neck, a faint glow continuing to emit from it.

"Marvelous!" Bart applauded.

"Wow." Qrow grinned.

"Um-bre?" Yoraito's gaze was trained on Kalā, the moonlight Pokemon seeming a little moonstruck himself.

Clover turned and gave a bow. "Thank you, thank you!"

"Leaf-e, leaf-e." Kalā echoed in the same boisterous cadence, dipping her own head.

Walking forward, Tai snorted, rolling his eyes at them. "Show offs." Despite his false disgruntlement, his smile was honest as he passed by his friend, offering a sincere, "Thank you."

Clover just winked, before heading off to join the others.

Tai hooked his hands on his hips, tilting his head back to look up at the fearsome bird that had made his barn her home for the past several months. "You ready?"

Reaper's return cry boomed over the field. An overwhelming yes.

Nodding, he glanced over his shoulder. "Liusha!" His Flygon glided over, landing before him.

But when Tai reached for the reins, he backed up. "Hey!"

He tried again - only for Liusha to flutter back a few steps.

His brow furrowed in confusion. What was he doing?

"What's wro-agh!" Qrow's sudden shout had him whirling around - only to bite his lip on his laughter.

Sunflower had lifted the man up by the back of his shirt as if he were a newborn Growlith, trotting forward until she was unceremoniously dropping Qrow down in front of him. Tai reached out to steady him.

"Uhh?" Qrow glanced between him and the Arcanine, clearly unsure what to make of this.

But Tai was beginning to get the idea. Pokemon communicated between each other in all sorts of unique and fascinating ways - ways that weren't fully understood, even by researchers. Over the years, he'd learned to lean on his team's guidance, just as much as they leaned on his. So he knew when they were trying to tell him something important.

"Tai, what's up with them?"

"I think they’re letting us know that Reaper wants you up there with her." He answered. Said like that, it seemed so obvious. Even if Tai was the one helping her get better, the bond she had with her trainer would always be something special.

Qrow tipped his head back, looking up at the corvid for a long, quiet moment, before he frowned. "But... we can't. She's not strong enough yet."

He had to stop himself from laughing again, the same bubble of affection he'd felt earlier in the day swelling, leaving his chest feeling floaty. "Not riding her, silly." He reached for Liusha's reins, able to grasp them with ease this time. "With me."

Qrow's gaze found his.

Held it for three seconds that felt like an eternity.

Then he looked past Tai's shoulder and snarked, "Can he handle that?"

"Fly!!"

"Just get on you jerk."

It only occurred to Tai after they were in the air, hovering level with Reaper's face, Qrow’s hands clutching his shirt like a lifeline, that this was also the first time Qrow had been in the air since he and Reaper had been struck down.

If all that was whirling through Qrow's head though, none of it came through his voice. Steady and sure as he yelled to his bird, "Reaper! You ready to take the sky back as yours again?"

Her call was even more impressive than the last.

"Good! Then show me what you're made of!"

Her wings spread, the gleam in her eyes sharp and determined.

With nothing left to add, Tai led his own mount backwards so they wouldn't get tossed in the blowback. A chorus had started up from below, every pokemon and person in attendance shouting their encouragement as the Corviknight began to flap. Each sweep of her awesome wings stirred the air, the wind draft giving weight to her powerful presence.

It was no wonder these Pokemon were recognized as one of the masters of the sky.

And then, with a leap of her claws, she was up!

And then up and up and up, gaining height until she bypassed the furthest she'd been allowed during practice and going well beyond. When she reached an air current that suited her, Reaper pulled in her wings some, canting above them in slow, wide circles.

It was already a promising accomplishment. This was only part of the trial though.

They had her in the air, now they had to make sure she could stay in it.

"Ready?" Tai asked, glancing back to his riding partner.

Though his grip tightened to a near painful squeeze, Qrow's face was as sharp and determined as his bird's. "Yeah. Do it."

Nodding once, he turned his face back to the sky, and with a pull of the reins, Liusha was rocketing upwards, pulling even with Reaper within seconds.

"Corvi!" She greeted, her next cycle widening to encompass them.

"Looking good, girl!" Qrow flattered. "Ready for the next part?"

In answer, Reaper pulled in her wings, whole body twisting midair. Barrel-rolling with more finesse than any jet could ever truly accomplish.

Tai just laughed as he realized that she was just as much of a grandstander as her trainer. "To Ten Carat! Beat us if you can!" And with that challenge in place, his Flygon swooped down into a soar, the wind whipping their clothes into a frenzy as they picked up speed.

Reaper's wings audibly cut through the air as she gave several mighty flaps in pursuit.

He'd crossed this distance a thousand times before, usually to go see Bart. At a leisurely pace, it took ten minutes. But Flygons weren't exactly the Slakoths of the dragon Pokemon world. Even with two passengers, at top speed, Liusha could easily clear it in a third of that time. With how fast the world below was going by underneath them, Tai could tell they were on pace to do so. A glance back told him Reaper was several paces behind but not struggling to keep up. It was clear she was giving it everything she had, but between her heavier weight and bulky form, there wasn't any way the bird could catch up.

It wasn't really meant to be a race, just something to feed into the competitive spirit most Pokemon held. A roundabout bit of motivation that seemed to be working like a charm.

He might have tugged at Qrow. Told him "See? She's got it!" - if not for the fact the man already had his eyes on her, witnessing the marvel for himself.

Really, what words compared to actions anyways?

Tai could tell Qrow that things would be alright until he was blue in the face - but it was in these moments that the other finally, truly believed it.

Knew for sure he knew it, for when they passed over the mountain's peak and they pulled into a hover, allowing Reaper to go past where it all began and cross over the ocean, and they watched the bird's steel feathers gleam in the sun as she cried her triumph to the sky, it was only then Qrow's grip turned from a clutch into an embrace, voice trembling with emotion as he verbalized a small "Thank you" that seemed to stretch into an endless well of gratitude.

Tai covered one of Qrow's hands with his own in silent acceptance.

Reaper's landing was perfect, fluttering down onto the field with the grace to rival an Altaria.

It was also, perhaps, ill-chosen, as it took but seconds for her to be surrounded by all their combined Pokemon as they chittered, growled, clicked, yipped and barked their glee at her. But rather than be overwhelmed, Reaper drank it all in, chest puffing up proudly.

Qrow was so eager to join in all the festivity, he practically leapt off of Liusha to sprint the short distance over. The Corviknight lowered her head at his approach, Qrow wrapping his arms around her crown, face alight with joy as he spoke obvious praises. With all the sound, Tai couldn't hear a word of it, but did hear Reaper's happy trills.

The whole thing left his heart feeling warm.

"It seems it was a flawless success." Bart announced as he came over.

"Heh, it sure was." Tai dismounted, watching Liusha fly over to join the others. "I mean, she'll still have some strength training to do from here, work her way up to longer flights and carrying additional weight. But, she'll be able to tackle that on her own."

Clover was talking animatedly with Qrow and clapping him on the shoulder. Siren was singing a celebratory ballad, voice complimented by Liusha's musical wingbeats. Many of the other Pokemon had started to dance or sway, bopping heads and stomping the ground. Between the gaps of all the feet and paws, he even spotted Yoraito and Kalā sharing a nuzzle.

So much excitement and happiness felt at every corner, his smile became uncontainable. "This is always the best part, seeing one of my rescues graduate."

"Yes, it is quite something." Bart agreed, adjusting his glasses. "Has Qrow decided where he's going from here?"

It was like Tai had thrown himself over Kala’e Cliff all over again, the shock as paralyzing as the plunge into the freezing waters and even more frightening. "I, well, uh... no, we hadn't discussed it."

More truthfully, he had never wanted to ask. Because if he never brought it up, then maybe this new living arrangement he'd come to enjoy far more than he ever thought possible would never have to end.

Maybe even thought, once or twice, that if Qrow stayed, then the heat that had been building between them would finally have a chance to spark.

Tai shook off the thoughts, forcing his smile back in place. "But I'm sure he'll find something that suits him. He's...perseverant like that."

"Is that so?" Bart's gaze was more piercing than his Luxray's x-ray vision. But just when he thought his friend was going to call him on his bullshit, instead he turned away, giving a nod. "Well, if he wishes to continue his work in the scientific field, send him my way. I'm certain the team back in Sinnoh would love to have him."

He turned his head to hide his grimace. "O-Oh. Yeah... I'll do that."

"Hey!" Clover's sudden shout carried across the field. "What are you two doing? Get over here!"

"Coming!" Bart called. Then to him, quieter, "Though, a word of advice Tai?"

"Mm?"

The historian started to cross over, throwing over his shoulder, "If you want Qrow to stay, you should probably just ask him."

He blinked, looking up from the dandelions he was frowning at, watching him stride away.

Shifted his eyes, until all he could see was Qrow, laughing openly as Beatrix transformed into a Jynx and made ridiculous kissy faces at the eeveelution pair. But, as if he could sense it, Qrow glanced away, those red eyes Tai had absolutely fallen for finding his.

He couldn't just ask...

...Could he?

The smile Tai had forced just moments ago suddenly came so easy.

Sometimes days, even the good ones, could be exhausting.

They wound down the night as usual - settling in together with a cup of evening tea and playing the television for the hour. Qrow found his spot at one end of the couch, crossing his feet on the coffee table and allowing Emerald to curl up in his lap, running his fingers down her back idly. Tai, on the other end, plucked the remote off the side table and turned on the TV. Between them, one of the other Pokemon usually took the middle cushion - today it was Mercury, nested in the overthrow that was usually on the back of the couch.

The broadcast hadn't even been going for ten minutes before a soft snore had Tai glancing over.

Qrow's head had tipped downward, chest rising and falling in slow intervals. It wasn't the first time he'd fallen asleep like this - in fact, had done so almost every night when he first started helping out at the Daycare. The schedule could be brutal and the work even moreso. Even with all their Pokemon's combined help, there was still a lot of organizing, lifting, and cleaning to be done every day.

But Tai had an inkling that, for once, the day's work had little to do with it.

His eyes flicked down, meeting Hau'oli blue. "Worked himself in a frenzy last night, didn't he?"

Emerald gave a little chirrup that confirmed nothing, before laying her head down on the man's knee, intending on a catnap as well.

He let them sleep, turning back to the show.

Still let them long after it was over, instead tidying up the room and finishing up the dishes from dinner.

The last plate was finding its way in the drying rack when he heard shuffling footsteps on tile.

"M'sorry." Qrow said around a yawn, "Miss anything good?"

He shook his head, drying his hands on the towel. "Nah. Mostly filler. They haven't even made it to the Trovita Gym yet."

"Tch, they really wanna drag out this season, don't they? And I'm sure Ash won't even win the league." Qrow scoffed with a roll of his eyes, leaning back against the counter. Emerald took it as an opportunity to hop up behind him, butting her head against his arm until he gave her some obligatory chin scratches.

Tai watched them, leaning back against the opposite counter. Took a deep breath. Here we go. "You know, I've been thinking..."

"Hm?"

"Emerald's Graduation Day seems to be coming soon too. Though, it depends entirely on you."

Qrow arched a brow. "...Meaning?"

"Wellll..." He stretched out, unable to keep the grin off his face, "If you were to adopt her..."

What he expected the other man to do, as he had the dozens of times before, was either give him a flat look or rightfully jerk his chain a bit for his neverending adoption threats.

What he wasn't expecting was for Qrow to look down at the Glameow, smile softly, and say, "You know, I think I might just have to."

"Wait, really?" Tai spluttered.

"Well yeah. Come on, don't look at me like that. I know you were gearing up some silly speech about how all she's needed is to form this oh-so great connection with a trainer who is willing to nurture it and you couldn't think of anyone else besides me."

No, no this was going all wrong! He wasn't supposed to agree. He was supposed to say no so Tai could joke about how he'd just have to stay forever then.

"Besides," Qrow looked back down at the cat and thus entirely missing the look on Tai's face as he added, "She shouldn't stay cooped in this house forever - not when there's a whole world to see, right?"

It felt like a hole was punched through his heart - which was kind of marvelous because they weren't really anything. Just a couple of young crushes that got shattered by the same reality. Or, more accurately, Tai had shattered by being a total Assimian.

So why did it hurt so much?

"R...Right." Tai choked out, quickly turning back to the sink and busying himself with checking the coffee maker that he'd already cleaned ages ago. Forced a laugh. "G-Glad we agree!"

"Uh-?"

He kept talking, hoping it would mask the absolute devastation wrecking through his chest. "And oh, I'm sure she'll love it wherever you take her! You could even introduce her to some Glameow in Sinnoh."

"...What?"

"Bart even told me he has a job offer for you if you like." His laugh was too loud. Or maybe his ears were just ringing too much. "I mean, I don't know if you want to go back there after everything. But the offer's there if you want it. And if not then hey - there's Glameow in Galar too, so I'm sure you'll find somewhere for her to fit right in!"

"You... want me to leave?"

The small, almost hurt tone drew him up short immediately, his spiraling thoughts crashing to a stop. He looked back, just barely catching the pained look playing across Qrow's face before the other was turning away, rubbing the back of his neck and hiding it all behind a scowl.

Tai's breath stuck in his throat, hope starting to build. Was he still-? Did he not want to-?

Oh Arceus were they both just complete idiots?

"I mean, tch what am I saying? 'Course you do, I shouldn't of thought - no, nevermind." He shook his head almost violently, pushing off from the counter and started to walk away with a parting grumble, "I'm gonna head to bed."

Wait.

Waitwaitwait!

Without even fully thinking it through, Tai lunged forward, gripping onto Qrow's wrist. Didn't have a damn clue what to say but, knowing if he didn't fix this now, then he was going to lose him forever. So he forced out the first thing to come to mind as those striking red eyes looked back at him:

"Do you want to go to dinner?!"

The hurt on Qrow's face melted into confusion. "Uh... what?"

The good thing was his panicked state was pretty similar to his depressive one as he swallowed his nerves and blathered on, "There's this really gorgeous restaurant in town, by the bayside. Kinda fancy, but the food's amazing and there's a dancing stage too for, um," His face flushed brilliantly as he stuttered, "C-Couples."

It was the longest five seconds of his life. Qrow stared at him, shocked, mouth open but emitting nothing.

Then he turned his head, hiding a snort behind his hand. "That has to be the most awkward confession I've ever heard."

"I'm out of practice!!" Tai cried.

But it worked to break the tension as they both laughed, harder than they should have even though it wasn't really funny. But Tai could care less, because it was so rare Qrow laughed so openly - and seeing his eyes crinkle at the edges and his smile go wide, it reminded him how beautiful he was.

When they calmed down, the air more light and amicable, a tentative smile played across his face. "So... is that a yes?"

"I... want it to be. Arceus how I want it." The wrist Tai still held rotated, sliding out of the grip. In its place, long, slim fingers curled over his. Qrow looked at their hands as if the connection held all the answers in the world - before sighing, and meeting his eyes. "But I'm not ready. I'm still a total mess right now. I need to feel like me again before anything else. If I'm gonna be with you, I want you to have the best of me, not the trainwreck."

And, well, there was really only one answer to that: "Okay."

"Okay?" Qrow almost sounded like he didn't believe it - whether it was Tai taking it so easily or just believing in him was anyone's guess.

So Tai nodded, assuring, "Yeah. I mean, it's not a no."

"Yeah but," He frowned. "It's a no for awhile. I can't even tell you how long."

"That's alright. Besides," In a fit of flirty impulsiveness, he rose their joined hands up, dropping a kiss along Qrow's knuckles, winking as he did it. "You're worth waiting for."

It was Qrow's turn to be lost for words, rambling incoherently, "I - you - what!?" Then, finally, he got in a jab, cheeks coloring all the while, "Where was that five seconds ago!?"

Tai made a mental note that when they were done waiting, he was absolutely going to make it his mission to make Qrow blush as much as possible. "What, did my wiles captaivate you?"

"Annnd you ruined it."

His smirk grew. "I had to. I couldn't risk hypnotaizing you."

"The only thing you're risking right now is my attraction flying out the window." Qrow deadpanned.

Tai could only laugh.

Eventually, Qrow cracked too, shoulders shuddering as he chuckled. "You're such an idiot."

"Yeah." He conceded. After a reluctant moment, he slowly pulled his hand away from Qrow's. It felt cold immediately. "Can't be any more idiotic than almost allowing one of the best things in my life almost walk out the door on me." He paused, then amended quickly, "I mean, that is, you're welcome to still stay, as long as you want. If you want?"

It was a question and a hope and a plea all in one, but it hardly had time to fester into something dark as Qrow's smile, soft and warm, came as immediately as his answer.

"Yeah. I'll stay."

~Epilogue~

They'd been flying circles above the forest of Mahalo Trail for at least an hour before Qrow's voice crackled through the x-transceiver of the C-gear. "I spotted her!"

Liusha's wings gave off a jubilant set of notes while Tai sighed in relief. "Thank Arceus!" His eyes sought the skies, finding Reaper doing cycles more towards the north, closer to Tapu Koko's cave. "She alright?"

"Far as I can tell. Going in for the capture now."

Tai watched the duo dive down, disappearing into the treeline. He pulled Liusha into a hover, waiting with baited breath as the minutes ticked on, not a sound to be heard beyond the wind rustling the leaves of the trees.

Then, another crackle.

"Got her."

Tai whooped. "Ah, Qrow, I'm so proud of you!"

"It wasn't that big of a-" Qrow cut himself off. "I mean, thanks."

Before Tai could sing more praises, Clover's voice came through the line, "Hark, was that the sound of Qrow accepting a compliment I heard?"

"Haha, shutup."

Clover chuckled, before his tone shifted back into officer mode. "Good job, both of you. Not a minute too soon either. Siren's getting exhausted."

"On my way." Tai pulled his mount around, leading him back to Iki Town.

"I'll be right behind you." Qrow assured.

It was only a few minutes before Tai was soaring over the small town, finding it still much in the state he'd left it in. The center arena had been smashed to splinters. Miss. Peach's porch was caved in, blocking the front door. Several palm trees had been felled, laying haphazardly about in yards and, for one extra unlucky plant, propped up against the Kahuna's rooftop.

It looked like a typhoon had hit - but the real culprit wasn't quite as fearsome looking.

Tai landed a few feet from Clover, sweeping his eye over the 'battle'. His Primarina was resting on her belly, taking an obvious break between lullabies, but eyes remaining intent on her opponent for any signs of stirring.

And the one who had started this all? Nothing more than a single Bewear, slumbering at the base of the second set of stairs that led down to route 1, which was currently full of the newly appointed trainers for the season, all of whom were hunting around for their next catch and certainly not in the skill level to handle an aggressive high level Pokemon.

It was a disaster waiting to happen, had she gotten any further.

Still, he couldn't find it in his heart to blame the bear.

Then again, perhaps he was just biased. Even from here, he could easily spot the metal tag clipped to one rounded, white ear.

An hour ago, when the sound of Clover's motorcycle racing across the field cut through the calm of the Daycare, the last thing Tai had expected when Clover rattled off the details of the crisis and how he needed their assistance, was for him to turn to him and tell him solemnly,

"And Tai? It's one of yours."

One look at the scars across her muzzle and he'd recognized Ākala immediately. She'd been a rescuee from a few years back - a timid and terrified Stufful at the time who had been trapped in a cave in. She had bashed her poor nose raw trying to dig her way out.

Though she hadn't had a long stay, she had a memorable one, as Yin, his Pangoro, had developed a paternal bond to the little cub. So, after returning her to the forest, he'd kept an eye on her throughout the years.

A well enough one to know she had had a cub of her own recently.

A cub that was concerningly missing.

The swooping noise of Reaper's wings reminded him that it wasn't going to be the case for much longer.

"That's it. Nice and easy." Qrow coached as they came in for the landing. Perched around his shoulders like a scarf was Emerald, looking mighty proud of herself. And in Qrow's lap was a little golden bundle, sleeping away just like her mom. "Found her hiding in the bushes by the stream." He told them as they approached, "If it weren't for her coat, I don't think I woulda seen her at all."

"Well, I wasn't worried." Tai grunted as he and Clover maneuvered the shiny Stufful into his arms. He still managed to spare a moment to wink up at his ku'uipo. "You always had an eye for the prize."

The snort Qrow let out was stifled by Clover's laughter. "You can't be implying yourself."

He gasped overdramatically. "Are you implying I'm not a catch, Lieutenant Ebi?"

"Even a Magikarp's worth more than you." The officer gave another mournful sigh, throwing an arm around Qrow's shoulders the moment he hopped down, telling him woefully, "You must have touched the tail of a Ninetales to get so unlucky."

With a roll of his eyes, Qrow elbowed him in the ribs. "Stop being an idiot Cloves."

Leaving them to bicker as they often did, Tai hefted the cub a bit higher in his arms, carefully making his way over to Ākala. She didn't stir at his approach, but as he laid the young Stufful down by her belly, he picked up on her twitching nose.

"Ssssh!" He hissed sharply.

Clover and Qrow fell silent immediately. Even with his back to them, Tai could already imagine the way Clover's hand fluttered down towards his belt or how Qrow's raised to press against Emerald's side, both ready to call upon one of their partners should things turn nasty. Could feel Reaper and Siren's gazes bearing down on the field.

So Tai did what he did best in such tense situations - he took three steps back and sat down right there in the dirt, all caution Mach Punched to the wind.

Beady, black eyes squinted open, Ākala sniffing in the scents around her as she slowly came to. The moment she caught her cub's, she snapped fully awake, sitting up with a surprising speed for someone of her girth.

The sudden shift caused the Stufful to whine, curling up tightly to compensate for the loss of warmth. But the minute she found her, Ākala was lifting her up and cuddling her to her chest in a big embrace. Her cub gave a little huff like a petulant child asking for five more minutes, nuzzling into her fur.

It was absolutely precious.

Tai smiled, though he still kept his tone chiding, "You've caused a bit of a stir Ākala."

"Wear?" Her attention shifted to him. She'd been in such an outaged state when he'd first shown up on the scene, she hadn't even recognized him - but now her expression lit up. "Be-be!"

In an almost human-like askance, she held out an arm. Tai could hear his poor Qrow choking on air as he dared shuffle forward, letting Ākala wrap him up in a hug.

Even with just one arm, she could easily snap his spine.

While it was a tight squeeze, it wasn't life-threatening. He chuckled, letting himself sink into her soft fur. "Next time, will you just come and ask for help instead of destroying half a town?"

"Be?"

Ākala looked about, at first in confusion, then in dawning mortification as the state of Iki registered.

And just like that, she burst into tears. "WEAAAAAR!"

Tai pat her cheek. Really she was just an oversized Teddiursa. "Okay, it's okay. No one got hurt and everything else is fixable." He kept soothing her until she calmed - just in time, because her little one was just starting to wake. "How about we get you two home, huh?"

A few sniffles and a nod, before she was climbing to her feet. Tai stood as well, glancing back.

Clover offered him a thumb's up and Qrow made a shooing motion - they had things from here.

He recalled Siren and led the way back to the forest.

This time, when Tai returned to Iki Town, it was much more put together. Clover was making rounds, checking on the people, taking damage reports and making sure no one was in need. Miss. Peach's porch had been cleared away for her to be able to reach the door, the remains of the framework being moved aside. The Arena was likewise being torn apart - salvageable parts being put into one pile, the rubbish in another. The fallen trees had been collected and placed into neat rows - the last of which Qrow was guiding Reaper to carefully lift off the Kahuna's roof.

That is where Tai found himself drifting over to.

"It's got a bit of a dent, but shouldn't be too bad to repair." Qrow was saying as his Corviknight rested it down.

"Ah, no matter." Leo replied, stroking his beard. "As they say, a little Ho'omau goes a long way."

He tilted his head. "I don't think I've heard that one."

"It means perseverance. There is great value in not giving up even in great adversity, don't you think?"

"Ah well..."

Tai took the opportunity to chime in, stepping up next to his ku'uipo. "We do that every day."

He did not think a day would come that he would get tired of the way Qrow's eyes brightened up the moment they looked upon him. "Everything go well?"

"Got them back to their den. I didn't see any sign of what caused them to be separated, but I left Yin with them for now to make sure they settle in alright. If there's any predators around, he'll take care of them." Not that many were daring enough to go after a Stufful, knowing a mother might be nearby. "But, I got a cute picture before I left!"

He tapped the button on the C-Gear, bringing up the mini-camera. It was fairly outdated by today's standards, the quality hard to capture on the weak processor, but the pixelated appearance didn't diminish the homey little scene of his Pongoro lifting up the happy cub high into the air, beaming like the proud, adopted grandfather he was.

"Heh. Who knew that lug could smile?" Qrow snarked.

"You've just never seen it because he's too busy being competitive with you." Tai replied smoothly. "Can't let you out-grump him."

"You're lucky I love you, you cheeky, little-"

Letting him grumble himself out, Tai turned to Leo, all smiles. "Is there anything pressing that needs doing left? I'm afraid we've been away too long."

"No, no, you've both done quite enough." Leo said, a bit of a twinkle in his eye as he added, "I'm sure you're busy lately with the big day drawing near."

He tried not to mentally wince at all the things still spread out on their kitchen table of things to do and decide on. Had they even figured out the floral arrangement mishap yet? Or checked in with the ring engraver? One more look at the guest list wouldn't hurt either...

"Busy is... a word for it, yes."

"Ho'omau, right? We've got it." Qrow came to his rescue this time, catching his hand in his. "But for now, we really should get going."

A few more quick goodbyes to the locals, a quick recalling of Pokemon, and a short update to let Clover know they were heading out, and soon enough they were on the trail home.

In the privacy of Route 1, Tai lifted their joined hands up, kissing the back of Qrow's hand. "Thanks. I couldn't have done today without you."

"Sunshine, you're going to break me." Qrow groaned, using his free hand to hide his blush.

Feeling mischievous, he started to drop little kisses against his wrist and up along his arm, murmuring all the while, "But it's true. I shine so bright only because you're with me, you know."

"That's - mm - really sappy."

Tai had made it to his neck now. "Only the best for you, ku'uipo."

Another one, right along his jaw, had Qrow turning into the kiss. Soft and sweet.

"And I'll always give you my very best." Qrow promised when they broke apart.

Tai cupped his face in his hands, assuring, "You always do," before pulling him in for another kiss.

A declaration of love that was truly timeless.

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