#and i just don't think it's useful! you can't necessarily choose your thoughts!

[trans-cuchulainn]

had a really interesting convo yesterday about ethics and whether intent or results matters (eg if you tried to make an ethical purchasing choice but the business was actually exploitative as hell, does that "count") and very much came to the conclusion that sure, if you're concerned with your personal immortal soul, as a christian might be, then intention counts. but if what you're focused on is your impact on the world, then intention means nothing if the actions have negative results, right? (that doesn't mean you're to blame for them! you didn't know! but you also don't get "ethics points" for trying, you know?)

and this also got me thinking about the whole christian idea that sinful thoughts are as bad as sinful actions because. they're just not imo. maybe for the sake of your Immortal Soul they are points against you, if that's your jam. but in terms of putting good into the world, in terms of your impact on other people, the ONLY thing that matters is what you choose to do with those thoughts. there is no way that "was kind to someone who was pissing me off, for the sake of community harmony" or "helped an acquaintance with a task even though I felt resentful about the time spent doing that" is a Bad Thing for the world

and it made me wonder how much purity culture and thought policing is rooted in (mostly evangelical) cultural christianity and this idea that ethical choices are an individual thing because what matters is the impact of them on YOUR soul and not, you know, things we do because of what we owe the world around us / because of love for others / because a world where people are trying to put good into it is a hell of a lot nicer to live in than one where people are only worried about themselves

i grew up evangelical but like. fairly mild evangelical and even though there wasn't a big focus on hell and stuff, i definitely fixated on imperfect thoughts and behaviours that were putting absolutely no harm into the world, rather than focusing on what i could do to put good into it, and that individualistic vs outward-focused approach to morality has been something i've grappled with a lot as an adult. but i never really thought about it as simply as this and really that's what it boils down to. are you making the ethical choice because you're trying to put good in the world, or because it would make you a "good person" to do so? because the answer to that 100% defines whether it's the thought or the result that counts

[luveline]

bEGGING for something with the marauders with drunk reader at a halloween party!!! make it literally anything you want follow ur heart ily and ur writing is AMAZING!!!!

thank you, ily ♡ modern au, fem

The rugby uniform felt like a funny idea at the time, but now you're cold and wondering how James manages to stay warm when he plays. You must ask him. 

He sits on the couch with Remus and another friend, Frank. You like Frank but he's not one of your boys, leaving you no options —you have to slide yourself between Remus and James, emphasis on have to. Remus touches your waist unthinkingly as you do, like he might catch you if you fell. 

James is ecstatic to see you as always. "Where have you been? I was about to send out the search party." 

He's been very, very pleased with you upon the reveal of your costume. Like, pleased enough to take a handful of your thigh and squeeze at the soft inner part greedily. You lean back into Remus, enjoying the feeling and wanting his comfort. He's used to it, and  he adapts by pressing his face indulgently to the side of your head. 

You giggle. This is usually a nice feeling, but drunk? You're euphoric. 

"You can't stray too far, lovely, I need my victim," Remus says. 

"Where have your fangs gone?" you ask, pointing at your neck. "I made the bite mark so perfect. Everyone will think I have rabies if you don't commit." 

James laughs like you're hilarious. Later, you'll find out that you didn't quite say every word that you thought you said, and that you'd been slurring your words into one another to create Frankenstein's sentences. 

"Everybody already thinks you have rabies," James says. He's wearing a chef's costume from a show he likes, a white shirt that's sleeves strain against his biceps and a blue apron. Sirius spent an hour drawing tattoos into his brown skin with a sharpie. "That's why we've decided to put you down." 

"I'll have one last night of passion with her first, if you don't mind," Sirius says, announcing his presence. 

You like the sound of that, lifting yourself away from the other two boys and their touches to take Sirius' fine hands. He's in a button up and tie, the sticker on his chest proudly proclaiming, Hello, my name is: Dave.

"You're here to kiss me, right?" you ask.

Sirius grins and presses a quick kiss to the corner of your mouth. "My little alcoholic, you smell like lambrini. What did we say about lambrini?" 

"Uh, that it makes me sloppy drunk." 

"Exactly!" He kisses your cheek, working an arm around your shoulder as though showing you off with pride to the other boys. "My darling, you're so smart." 

"Not that smart, she still drank the lambrini." 

"Remus, don't start," Sirius admonishes. "You just hate that she chooses me when she's drunk." 

"You're her enabler," James says, "of course she does. But before she was drunk she chose to dress as me for Halloween, so if anyone is the favourite–" 

"Oh, please don't start," Remus says. 

The boys start, arguing over who your favourite is. It's a silly pass time with no real merit but no malice, either, and you're just drunk enough to goad them on. "Maybe Remus should be my favourite. After all, he's my vampire. Our love is, like, eternal." 

The furrowed brow he gets whenever the other two boys debate slips. "It's so eternal," he says, nodding confidently. "Quite right, dove." 

"Eternal doesn't mean better." 

"Then what does it mean, Sirius?" 

You decide that James' lap looks comfortable and that you might be here for a long time, so you push his legs down flat and sit carefully (not very carefully in reality, but in your heart) on his thighs, socked feet pulled up onto the couch, sideways and skewiff in his company. 

"Well, obvious winner," James says, encompassing your back with a big arm, pulling you into him. Under his hand your shoulders feel like a more delicate system; you aren't necessarily small, but his touch feels so everywhere, a pervasive feeling of safety and comfort in the palm of his hand where it grasps you. 

"You have the more comfortable seat," Sirius says nonchalantly. "It means nothing." 

Remus pulls one of your socks up where it's slipping down your calf and Sirius interrupts the arguing to ask if you need a glass of water. You don't have favourites. They're each incredibly lovely in their own way. 

[melminli]

my boy - by billie eilish

pairing: young coriolanus x fem. reader

summery - he ain't a man and sure as hell ain't honest

word count: 2.5k

contains: angst, slightly dark themes, possessiv but soft coryo, politician coryo, talk about pregnancy and marriage, alcohol consumption

a/n: i have many songs that i think r just so coryo coded, so i thought i would choose one and write something about it. this one is just so him like, every lyric fits him perfectly

You sometimes wondered if there really had been a time when you had truly loved Coriolanus Snow. You didn't want to doubt that you didn't anymore, but the fact that you had any doubts at all said more than you wanted to admit to yourself.

"Don't you want to get dressed?" The voice of the person you were thinking about asked you. As his Fiancée, you should definitely not think about such things. You turned your attention to him and saw him standing in front of the mirror, buttoning the buttons of his expensive waistcoat.

You noticed he was about to tie his black tie next as he reached for it, and you stood up to stop him so you could do it for him. It always looked a little messy when he tied it himself. "I thought maybe I'd stay home this time. I'm a bit tired." You said, concentrating on doing a neat job, even though you probably could do it with your eyes closed by now. Perhaps the reason was more that you were trying to avoid his gaze and also his silence.

He said something back to you as you were pulling the tie tighter around his neck. "I think you should get dressed." Was all he said and ended the discussion with a few words like he always did. It would look bad if I turned up without my fiancée. Though, at the same time - I really need something pretty to look at if I want to get through the evening.

You just sighed softly as Coriolanus walked past you to fix his hair. I think I'd better wear a matching dress then. You went to your closet to look for a black dress and it should be very easy for you to find something suitable since you had a dress for every occasion. Especially since you and Coriolanus had had started to be invited regularly to galas and events.

But you just weren't in the mood. Whatever, this should be fine. You finally decided on one and put it on. However, you had a little trouble zipping up the back, though luckily, your fiancé returned the favor and helped you out. After he finished, he watched your figure in front of the mirror and gave you a gentle kiss on the back of your neck while holding you in his arms. "There you go, my dear, you look beautiful. You should also wear the pearl jewelry I bought you, they would look good on you."

You leaned back into his arms. "Good on me, or good on the wealthy impression you want to give others." You said, already knowing the answer. Coriolanu's gaze sharpened slightly at your words. He didn't like it when you got sassy with him - no matter to what extent. It seemed to be one of your traits that were hard to get rid of, but he hoped that perhaps with time, you would learn to watch your tongue more. I don't think so, but a man can still hope. At least it's not as bad as it used to be.

"Pollux will be there." He announced and sat down on the armchair next to your dressing table while he watched you make yourself pretty for him. One of the reasons why it was there. "But I would argue that one doesn't exclude the other." He came back to your earlier statement.

So, that's what this is about. The name Pollux was not necessarily associated with positive things in your household. Ever since Coriolanus had started getting involved in politics around Panem, the two of them were considered arch enemies, one could say. Both very charming men with sweet words who also each hid a poisonous dagger behind their fake smiles so they could take the other out at the slightest mistake.

"I can't stand that fucking bastard." Coriolanus complained, grimacing as he thought about his face. "If I have to listen to him make one more pun with his name, I'll shoot myself and everyone in the room. Just because your name means crown doesn't mean you're going to get it stupid asshole. I really fucking hate that guy."

Your fiancé rarely swore, at least that's how it used to be. He thought it was bad manners and therefore never did it in public, but well, maybe you secretly just wished that he would show his best side in your presence too and not just to stupid important people.

It didn't suit him. Well, at least from your point of view, it always sounded a bit strange and kind off forced to hear him swear when he hadn't done it for so long. Like he was trying to imitate someone. "You're sounding more and more like your father." You said quietly to yourself, averting your gaze from his hate-filled eyes.

That seemed to cheer him up. "Well, thank you, my dear. Didn't realize you knew so much about him." He said and became curious. He couldn't remember telling you about him. He certainly mentioned him a couple times, but not that much that you could draw that comparison.

It wasn't a compliment. You opened the bottom drawer to pull out the box of pearl earrings and necklace after you finished doing your hair. "I don't know that much. Tigris has only told me a few things from time to time, and that's it."

He hummed as he just shook off his right sleeve a little to look at his watch. "Did she." he replied with his head somewhere else as he abruptly changed the subject to be able to talk about his own interests. "Don't take too long. The Avox should have the car ready by now, and I want to leave soon." He announced and stood up from his seat. He took the necklace from your hand and placed it on your free neck before gracefully pulling the clasp. "What did I tell you, hm? Like a pretty princess." He said in good humor and gently held you by the chin to place a kiss on your lips. My pretty princess. All that's missing is her lonely tower. "I'll go down and see if everything is all right. Just come down when you're ready."

You tried to stay in a good mood too. "Okay, Coriolanus. I'll be right there." you told him, leaving his casual mention of your staff unmentioned. You got tired of talking about how your heart got heavy when you saw the silent workers.

At least you can treat them well while they are working us. Trust me, others would not grant them such luxury. With us, they are better off than most. After all, there is a reason why they are in the position they are now. What kind of luxury? Treating them like ordinary people should not be treated as such, and yet he was right once again. They would be worse off somewhere else, so you should be able to suck it up and do your best to at least give them the dignity of looking them in the eye and enduring their silent nature. After all, they had to do the same.

That's probably what he likes the most about them. You thought to yourself and were pretty sure that your fiancé would approve if you said just as little - to just open your mouth to say what he liked to hear, like a bird that he only let sing when it was his favorite song. Wouldn't he like that? Of course he would. Well, if he wants a quiet good girl then he can fuck off.

"You know, I noticed how you don't really call me Coryo anymore." He briefly stated and left open how he interpreted this.

You continued with your make-up. "Hm? Well, I think it just suits you better now, dear. You're not the same boy you used to be."

He begs to differ. "Don't be like that. I haven't changed that much. I'm still the same Coryo you fell in love with all those years ago." He laughed as he said goodbye to you with one last kiss on your head before leaving the room.

You just sat there with a heavy heart in your lonely room while staring at your silhouette in the mirror. That's what I've been trying to convince myself lately, too.

Thank goodness there's alcohol at these events. As someone who was born and raised in the Capitol and also came from a wealthy family, you were no stranger to popular events.

However, you definitely liked them more when they were considered parties and not some lame adult gathering. You'd give anything to hear the booming music from big speakers now while a few crazy, very drunk people hit the dance floor. It was chaotic, but at least it was real - people weren't hiding behind their pretty dresses and fake smiles like they are now. Whatever, you can't stop getting older, I guess. Maybe it would take a few more years for the Capitol to figure out a way around that, too, but by the time they did, it would have already lost its value.

You started listening again when your name was mentioned. "Now that you're engaged, I suppose the wedding isn't far off, huh?" Mrs. Valentius laughed merrily. If you remembered correctly, she was the wife of the man who had won some important literary prize or something last year. "And we all know that when marriage is near, children are not far away."

You laughed with her, albeit very uncomfortably. I'm not going to elaborate on that. You took another sip of your drink and saw how you just had a little bit left, same goes with your patience, too. I need more of both.

Your eyes looked up again when Coriolanus put an arm around your waist and pulled you closer to his side. "Of course. The preparations are a little stressful even if they are going well, but who knows, maybe the first one will be there on our big day. What do you say, my dear?" He replied in your place with his disgustingly charming smile. I think I would like it if she was pregnant with my child on the day of the wedding. Would just have to make a few alterations to her dress, but that can easily be arranged.

Yes, you definitely needed a new drink. "Let's see, Coriolanus. Like you said, things are stressful enough right now, and I'm sure you don't want me to be any harder to handle than I already am, huh?" You joked around and laughed with the couple in front of you. I can't believe what kind of shit I'm saying about myself, but those are the only jokes these two douchebags are laughing at, and I really don't want to talk about this subject anymore. "I'm going to go and freshen up, if that's all right with you." You excuse yourself and make your way to the toilets, but not without grabbing a glass from a tray of a walking waiter.

You shut the door behind you and finally felt like you could breathe properly again since you were no longer surrounded by all these people. Could be worse. We didn't meet Pollux and his wife yet, but it's still pretty bad. "Oh, this is a nightmare." You said, leaning your arms on the sink. "Why don't you tell them when we're fucking so they know that the baby is in the making, huh? Ugh, since when did it become normal to get so personal?" You complained and swallowed the contents of your glass in one gulp, feeling it burn in your throat. It felt good.

You wanted to give yourself a few minutes alone to clear your head and come out re-energized, but the more time you spent in the room, the less you wanted to leave. You preferred to hear the voices muffled through the door, but this thought was interrupted when it opened, and you tried to act unruffled for a moment until you realized who was coming in. "Coriolanus? What are you doing here?" You asked nervously as you watched him enter. "This is a ladies' room, you can't be here!" You whispered aggressively as you stepped closer to him and saw him turn the lock behind his back. I should have fucking done that. My head is all fuzzy.

His eyebrows drew together in slight irritation. "Your breath reeks of alcohol. You've had too much to drink." He stated, making a mental note to pay more attention to your consumption next time so it wouldn't happen again. He ignored your earlier statement and continued. "What's wrong? Are you feeling sick, or why have you been in here so long?" He asked you, slightly concerned, rubbing your arms as you seemed quite drunk

"No, I'm fine." You replied stubbornly, a little annoyed and couldn't quite find the right words, so you just said the first thing that came into your mind. "I just didn't like all this baby talk."

He hummed and continued to speak to you in a calm tone since you seemed upset. "Well, you know I want kids." He said, trying to be a little more understanding. "But I get why you would find it a bit intrusive. Don't let them get to you. That's just the way these people are." He finished, brushing a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

Maybe, but that's not the way you have to be. You didn't expect him to apologize for his behavior, but it still didn't hurt any less. "I suppose you're right." You just whispered, trying not to get too emotional under the intoxication.

But you didn't manage to hide it from him. "Oh, my dear. Are you really that upset about it?" Your fiancé cooed as he saw you holding back from bursting into tears. He put his index finger to your chin and lifted your face so you couldn't hide from him. His lips moved to the spot where the first tear fell and left a soft kiss there. "You're too cute. It's really too bad that we still have to wait. A baby would certainly stop the questions, wouldn't it?" He asked you sweetly as he stroked your cheek thoughtfully and lied through his pearly white teeth. "A real shame it is. You should freshen up, I think we can leave a little early tonight since you're not feeling so well."

You just hated that he looked so pretty doing it.

[storyofmychoices]

Sticks & Stones...

I'm sure we've all heard the phrase, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me". Little kids learn it to counteract mean words said at playtime. It seems logical, physical harm should hurt more than words, but I think we all know from experience, that's just not true.

I didn't want to address this. I learned years ago in this fandom that if you address drama or anons it never ends well. However, I feel like this has to be said not necessarily for me, but maybe for younger me who wasn't as strong.

I received an anon that told me to kill myself because they didn't like a fic I wrote (I guess). I deleted the message because it's not worth my time. But those words are so hurtful. I thought back to younger me. Middle school me. High school me. Even early college me... I don't think that version of me would be strong enough to delete that message.

That version of me would hold onto it, perseverate on it, and those words would swirl in my mind and the anxiety and depression would tell me that's what people think. That's what you should do. I know logically that's stupid and it's an anon, delete and move on. But mentally, I wasn't strong enough...

I know that version of me is not alone. I know there are people in this fandom who struggle daily with their mental health. I know how hard it is for them. I can't imagine one of them getting a message like that.

Using language that promotes harm, like telling someone to "kill yourself," is harmful in so many ways. Whether you actually mean it and think that person should die, or you think it's just a phrase you say when you're angry, bored, or wanting to start drama, it's not okay. I'd love to say choose kindness and don't send any hate but I know that's not the world we live in.

However phrases like "kill yourself" are beyond the line. You cannot predict the mental state of the person you're sending it to. How would you actually feel if that person went through with it? What if their death is on your hands? Would you be okay with that? Would you be okay if the police came to your door and said you led to that person's death? (Don't think that happens? It does, the state police and FBI do investigate digital threats. I know because I work with kids who make and receive threats and have had to deal with the FBI investigating them... and anon doesn't matter the FBI will track the IP address). I don't want that for anyone here. So please, choose your words wisely.

If you are in a bad place and lashing out is all you have, come talk to me or someone else in this fandom. I know that it is hurt people that hurt other people. I know if you are sending words like that you've been hurt. Let's break the cycle together!

This post is not targeted toward any one person. Yes, it was motivated by the anon I got, but I really hope that anyone who has ever used that phrase might read this and take it to heart.

Please choose kindness or nothing at all. Our fandom is small enough. I don't want to see other people leave because they feel pushed out or leave because they did something they can't take back.

Oh, and to anyone who has received harmful words like that. You are not alone. You can come to me or others to talk. Please don't believe those words. You are stronger and better than that!

I'm not sure how to end this so, here is a cute picture:

[saintarmand]

a stray cat from a toy shop

while i'd noted it before, this post by @iwtvfanevents gave me a title for the cat painting in claudia's room: The Kitten's Art Lesson by Henriëtte Ronner-Knip. (if you enjoy being insane like me go read the artist's biography at the link, but keep in mind that just because you CAN draw parallels doesn't mean they were necessarily intentional. but they ARE delightful.)

let's take a look at the kitten's art lesson!

the kittens are studying under the watchful eye of the adult cat, who seems disappointed by the lack of decorum. the kittens are in a playful mood! one of them has torn through a painting. another is clinging to the art board with tooth and nail... just playing or trying to hold on after nearly falling? a couple are in a half closed drawer—almost like they could be trapped inside at any moment. one has actually found a paint brush but doesn't seem to know what to do with it. the teacher is not impressed.

i can't help but note the one staring towards us from the drawer looks awfully familiar:

the art teacher and students aren't the only cats in claudia's room; there's also a cat statuette on the mantle (click to see the closeups in full.)

above the cat painting, there's a blurry painting of what looks like some women sitting, and one of them looks she might have a cat in her lap, though that might be wishful thinking on my part. the bottom of the painting blends in so well with the wallpaper that at first glance i actually thought the painting had been cut into, which sent me on a wild train of thought but yeah that's not actually true lol. but the effect is interesting regardless. the cat on the mantle definitely evokes the idea that it escaped from the painting nearby, and could flee at any moment—and in episode 6, it's no longer on the mantle or anywhere else that i can see.

i wonder if it broke along with so much else in the house at the end of episode 5, or if claudia moved it somewhere. fellow insane people keep an eye out, a kitty's gone loose!

so... why cats?

there aren't many cat references in iwtv compared to other animals, but the ones that are there speak volumes. in episode 3, we see louis bite into a black cat as a substitute for the human blood he craves. later in the evening lestat says he "fears for the feline population of new orleans" (after comparing louis to fish and birds). when louis reaches a breaking point, "rats, cats, dogs, would no longer suffice." so what he really wants or needs is something else?

in the next episode, claudia delivers the punchline:

“I used to [live around here] too. I remember there used to be a toy shop a few doors down by there. They used to keep stray cats in boxes for people to take.”

claudia sees herself as a cat. louis took her in like a stray—a helpless little kitten in need of rescue—and he took her (took for free because no one else wanted her) from a box at a toy shop—a place where you find things to play with.

but cats love to play and they love sleeping in boxes so this is fine actually!

...right?

claudia knows herself much better than anyone else in this show. she is a cat in a kitten's body.

the thing you always have to keep in mind about cats is that they are not docile and subservient by nature. they don't do things because they are told but because they choose to. a cat's fur may be pretty and soft to touch, but don't forget those sharp teeth and claws! it's not that they don't like to be pet at all, you just have to get permission first. and even if you do, they might just change their mind, as is their right.

cats do like good company but they also like their independence. they prefer to come and go as they please; not to be locked up inside, and not to be kept on leashes. they like boxes because they feel safe in there, but they also like to jump out for play time: hunt! catch! kill!

they may be small and cute and soft but they're still predators, and brutal ones. if they don't get to hunt for their food in your care, you better find them another outlet or they'll go for your ankles. they developed that instinct to survive, but hunting also happens to be fun! cats love to play with their food.

if you manage to earn their trust, they'll make for wonderful companions—but do not make the mistake of assuming you can ever own them... or you'll have to sleep with one eye open like they do. they're quick and clever but also patient, and they know how to move without a sound. let them out of your sight for even a second, and you won't know what hit you until it's too late. and they'll relish the kill!

no matter how others may speak of her, claudia is not a lap dog, nor a bird in a feathered nest. lestat is not a beauceron herding sheep, and his last name does not make him a lion. the three of them are not fellow dogs either. from the very beginning, claudia knows she's a cat. and by the end, she realizes what lestat let slip in the pilot: he's just an overgrown fucking rat. and while “a cat and a rat” rhymes, that does not mean they're the same thing.

[amethystina]

I'm waiting so excitedly for your updates, old and new, I can't begin to tell you! You are the fandom treasure! And as I'm waiting and biting my nails I wanted to ask something, what do you think about the final scenes of episode 8 where Gaon has dinner with his professor and tells him he chooses Yohan's side. How come Yohan knew where to find them and the precise moment to come in and pick Gaon up, was he following them or did he and Gaon had a deal?

And what's with leaving his car to stand next to Gain and look at professor? I love this scene so much but I don't know if I understand its message right. Was it posturing, laying a claim on Gaon or what? I tend to feel that Yohan was possessive of Gaon when it came to professor and his police friend and I think I feel some of it in this scene but I'm not sure, I just don't have a clear grasp on it. Would love to know your thoughts!

Aww, thank you so much, sweetheart! This is definitely the first time I've been called not just a fandom treasure, but the fandom treasure. Thank you 💜

Ah yes, the "Ga On runs off with his new sugar daddy" scene. Or, as I sometimes like to call it, the "You just don't understand, dad professor — I love him" scene.

I'm joking, obviously.

(... or am I?)

I would say that Ga On and Yo Han made an agreement beforehand, yes. They probably talked about Ga On's choice to switch sides and while Yo Han would no doubt have loved for Ga On to continue on as a double agent (feeding Professor Min intentionally faulty information) Ga On is way too honest for that. So he probably insisted that, no, he'll call Professor Min, meet up with him, and just flat out tell him that Ga On's spying mission is over. He's now going to elope work with Yo Han instead.

And I find it hilarious to think that, most likely, Yo Han was just sitting in his car, perhaps scrolling through his phone, waiting for his newly acquired sugar baby to finish telling his semi-father figure that he's going dark side. Because Ga On gets up and starts walking before Yo Han drives up, meaning that it's not like Ga On saw the car coming and went "oh, better wrap this up now." It was probably the other way around, where Ga On leaving the table was the signal for Yo Han to come pick him up.

So yes, they definitely had an agreement, especially since Ga On seems to know in exactly which direction to walk, even before the car shows up, and doesn't look the least bit surprised by Yo Han's arrival.

They planned that shit.

Brutal.

As for the fact that Yo Han gets out of the car? Well, buckle up, my darlings, because I think we should take a detour to discuss intent.

Now, intent isn't necessarily important when you want to interpret a scene, but I like the extra nuance it can offer. And by intent, I mean what the scriptwriter/director might have intended with a scene. Why is this scene here? What was the plan behind it? How is it supposed to impact the overall story? How does it tie into the rest of the plot?

Which is never something you can say for sure, of course, unless there are interviews expressly stating it, but, a lot of the time, we can guess.

The intent behind this scene, in its simplest, purest form, is to show that Ga On is switching sides. And, with that in mind, it makes sense that he crosses that road to Yo Han's car (if you know me and my metas, you know how much I love lines, characters crossing said lines, and the symbolism of that) and stops to stand next to Yo Han. It's a very simple yet effective way to show Ga On's choice and where it will take him.

Into Yo Han's arms.

NOW. Intent is very useful because, depending on how skilled the person writing is, you can hide a lot of subtext and leave room for a lot of interpretation with a cleverly formulated intent. That's how censored shows get away with so much, because they can point to the perfectly reasonable, heteronormative intent behind a scene and pretend that there aren't also a lot of subtler nuances to the reading.

And, if they're extra bold, they also add hints in the presentation and execution.

The scene where Yo Han invites Sun Ah to the house is a perfect example of this, where the intent is to make her feel lonely, like an outsider, as she's invited to observe this warm, comfortable family. Not a bad tactic as far as manipulation goes, I have to say. So, in other words, very reasonable intent — makes sense with what they're trying to achieve.

The fact that it ends up looking more like Yo Han is proudly showing off his doting, doe-eyed househusband who's passively-aggressively and not-so-discreetly staking his claim is... well, that's just an accidental side effect, isn't it? Not intent at all.

And that's true. It's not intent that makes it look gay.

It's the presentation of the intent.

(Sidenote: To be a fly on the wall when Yo Han and Ga On came up with this strategy. Because, clearly, they were both in on it and, I mean, how did that conversation go? Inquiring minds need to know.

Like, how did they go from: "We need to throw her off balance. We'll invite her to the house, show what she's missing out on, but also give her hints that she could have it all, if she's willing to surrender" to Ga On going: "I'll cook a fancy dinner. That'll make her jealous."

I mean, he's not wrong but, like, Mr. Sugar Baby. What? x'D

Also, imagine Yo Han's face. Transcendent.)

Anyway. Intent can also ruin a story. I think most of us have read a fanfic and gone: "... that character wouldn't do that. This makes no sense." That could be a sign that the author's intent is clashing with the characters or the story they're trying to tell. Or, put more bluntly, that the author is so focused on forcing an idea that they don't realise that they're going against the logic of the story or characters' personalities. Things happen because they want them to, not because it makes sense, meaning that the intent isn't tied to the story or characters, but what the writer wants. This is badly planned intent.

And, most of the time, readers can tell when the intent is off, even if you might not be able to put your finger on it while you're reading. But if you're feeling a niggling doubt at the back of your mind, wondering why this scene is here, what this scene even means, or why this character suddenly seems to act so strangely, it could be that the writer didn't plan it well enough.

That's not to say that a reader must always know the intent behind a scene. Ideally, the story should be good enough that they don't have to stop and think about things like that. If the intent and internal logic are sound enough, it should just flow naturally.

Because, when it comes down to it, pretty much all scenes in a story have an intent and that intent should be in harmony with the characters' personalities and how they would choose to behave. And I don't mean that there can never be conflict or that characters can't disagree — I mean that all scenes should have a reason for being there. It doesn't have to be a deep or complex reason, but there should be a reason that ties into the overarching plotline. And characters shouldn't be forced into a scene they have no business being in. Intent is very important from a crafting standpoint.

And intent is one of the things that makes The Devil Judge such an absolute joy. Because while there is always a perfectly reasonable — and very heterosexual, we promise — intent behind most scenes, they often choose to present the scenes in a way that leaves room for a much queerer reading. Now, that can happen with almost any story, but what sets The Devil Judge apart is that it seems to be entirely intentional.

The presentation is by no means subtle or accidental.

Like, they didn't have to make Ga On shuffle up in a soft, comfortable sweater and greet Sun Ah like a caring househusband, but they did. That was a conscious choice.

And this scene you mention, with Yo Han getting out of his car when he's picking Ga On up, falls into a similar category in my mind. The surface-level intent is clear — show that Ga On is switching sides — but he could simply have said so. He could have borrowed a car and driven himself. Yo Han didn't have to come pick him up. And he certainly didn't have to get out of the car.

But he did.

And that might be what you're picking up on when you're saying that you're not sure if you're understanding the message correctly. Because in a drama this clever, that puts so much effort into details and, again, intent, it feels almost a bit odd to leave this gaping hole, doesn't it? Yo Han stepping out of that car should mean something, right?

And, once you've gotten this far, you've got a couple of options to choose from to fill in the blanks. Either you can assume that it was just something the creators chose to do because it looked/seemed cool and therefore might not mean much at all. And considering that this drama does that a couple of times, this could honestly be the case. Maybe they just thought it would be more effective to have Yo Han to step out of the car? To really hammer it home to Professor Min what's happening?

Your other option is to bring in the harmonisation between intent and characters. Because, if the writer is good and their characters consistent, you should be able to pick up on secondary layers of intent, running parallel with the main one. Because while each scene has an intent, each character IN that scene also has one (though perhaps it would be more comfortable to call it purpose at this point?).

In other words: If "it looked cool" isn't the answer, could we find it in the character's behaviour instead? What is their intent, based on their personalities and previous actions? Does that give a more satisfying answer?

What reason would Mr. Kang "Abyss" Yo Han have for stepping out of that car?

I, personally, think that the answer is pretty simple.

He is absofuckinglutely staking a claim.

He's stepping out of that car because he's a Possessive, Dramatic Bitch and wants to rub it in Professor Min's face. He wants to show that he's won, that he's turned the spy Professor Min sent, and that he's, quite literally, taking Ga On away.

Yo Han is basically going: "Thanks for the sugar baby — I'll make sure to ravish savour treasure him."

So while the main goal of that scene is to establish that Ga On is switching sides, the intent Yo Han adds with his actions leaves room for a very gay reading. In fact, I'd argue that doing so only makes the scene more believable, since Yo Han's actions are otherwise kind of... unnecessary? He has no reason to step out of the car and make himself known, unless it's for the dramah.

Again, the presentation of the intent is where the magic happens.

So, why this long, godawful rant about intent, you ask? When I could just have answered the question right away?

Because while I know that I'm preaching to the choir in terms of this drama being gay as hell, I just want to highlight the importance of intent and how it can change the reading of a scene. I think intent — or specifically the harmony between characters and intent, and the various layers of intent — is absolutely fascinating, especially in this drama.

Especially if you want to argue that it's gay.

Because there is, in fact, some scenes where I just... I can't. The intent and characterisation don't match at all — unless you add a queer element. Like, this drama is so clever. Not perfect, mind you, but so clever. And so careful with especially Yo Han and Ga On's characterisation. Very little is left to chance.

And so, if you keep everything I've said about intent and characters in mind, and I ask you to explain the intent behind this one, singular shot, can you do so without making it gay?

I'm not joking when I say that this scene, right here, was the one that definitively made me go "oh fuck, this is gay gay."

Because in most others — if not all — I can find that safe surface-level intent which means that the people behind this drama can claim plausible deniability. Of course it's not gay! Look at this perfectly reasonable, heterosexual intent!

Except this one.

There's no explanation for this. Ga On has no reason to look this jealous unless his jealousy is the main intent behind this shot. There just isn't. And it's only made worse by his huff and the way he clenches his jaw a couple of seconds later. Not even the argument that Sun Ah is their enemy so letting her fix Yo Han's tie might be dangerous can justify this, since that's not a look of concern or alarm — that's jealousy.

The intent is jealousy. Plain and simple.

And that's why intent is important. Because, if push came to shove, the intent behind this one, singular screenshot could, theoretically, be the only evidence you need if you wanted to defend a queer reading of this drama.

Because there is, quite frankly — in my humble opinion as the fandom treasure — no other way to explain the look on his face in a drama this meticulous and obsessed with details.

In this scene, unlike all the others, the queerness isn't just in the presentation anymore — it's in both the intent and presentation.

So, if you want the scene that says "this shit's gay, fam"?

This is the one.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[amaritious]

Gn! Readers reaction to Matpat's death + resurrection (beware)

He IS the skrunkly. I want him, I need him.

Happiness, death, sadness and then happiness again.

Mat is a malewife.

Relationship isn't necessarily described but Matpat and Reader are close, implied romantic if you squint.

To the deliver best service, I did headcanons and some small oneshots (even though I'm better at headcanons)

However, my service is extremely late. Sorry @tzurue.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

His Death HEADCANONS

Coming into whatever this twisted game Joey had pushed you in, you expected Matpat to come in top.

Matpat was strong, intelligent and a people pleaser (in a good way).

But it wasn't enough.

What went wrong? You asked yourself over and over again. The question never leaving your already scattered brain.

He wasn't strong enough.

The rest knew they fucked up, they didn't know. They realised what they had done when your cheerful personality had completely shattered, leaving only fragments of it behind. They were like little children, experimenting with danger like a toy, unknown to what came ahead. It was too much.

Witnessing his death, it changed something in you.

The desperate cries for help, the pained yet panicked look in his eyes, the "I want to go home" body language and the sorrowful cries of your name...

He was being dragged away before your very eyes and you wanted to reach out, help him or grab him and mourn.

But there was nothing you could do.

And you were useless yet again.

His Resurrection ONESHOT

You sat there, devoid of thoughts yet it seemed as if millions muffled voices marched into your mind. You didn't register your friends' worried comments, you couldn't anyways. You didn't know if you could even call them your friends. They killed him, they knew he would die. You carried on mumbling, looking, glancing, searching - just any sign he was there, you would accept anything. Ro gave you his badge, knowing that you felt even worse than her but it just heightened your concerns. What would you do?

Then next thing you knew, you were getting chased by crazy doll twins, torturing dolls, connecting dolls, you see the pattern here.

You couldn't care anymore. Maybe. You don't know. And that was until Joey found the much needed Lazarus coin. You gaped at it studying every crevice carefully. This was Mat's dying wish.

Was it worth it? Yes. The man had dedicated precious time to finding this seemingly precious coin, awaiting its use.

Now flash forward to when Joey and Safiya get to choose who can live even an hour longer. You don't really care how selfish it may be but surely there's one right answer. And if they don't bring that person back you might as well pull a Colleen, call Joey shady and get them to kill you. That would be best.

You're not sure what facial expressions you're pulling because you see everyone look strangely confused at you. But it doesn't really matter because no matter how much you don't want to, you're pacing around the lounge while they attempt to solve some puzzle.

This is why we need Mat, you think with your head in a hand.

You've already been tricked by some boring suitcase so when your 'friends' begin to yell in the direction of the doorway, you only just lazily looked up.

And there was that son of a bitch.

Mathew Patrick.

"Mat? Holy I- Oh. My. God."

You run the few steps and trap him into a bone crushing hug. He wearingly hugs you back, obviously dishevelled.

"I can't believe you died on me," you begin, acting like you weren't just having a silent panic attack over it "here, take a seat. you deserve it."

You turn to Joey and Safiya, "Joey, everything I thought about you is very wrong. Safiya, you're beautiful and you're amazing I love you guys."

Not bothering with their reactions, you plop down next to Mat and gently rub his arm.

"I missed you," you state, looking into his eyes.

Despite his distressed state, he replies with "Right back at ya."

You proceed to hug the life out of him (pun intended).

[cloudycleric]

tl;dr for my bi vs gay mike truthers video

basically, summarized, through my own research ive concluded... mike wheeler is....

unlabeled!!

i don't think the whole bi vs gay mike truthers thing needs to be a thing. like i dont get why it was ever as controversial as it was. you can very much interpret the first few seasons of stranger things through the lens that mike wheeler did in fact have a crush on el. or, you can support the theory that neither of them had a crush on each other, but mike felt a sort of comp-het impulse to have a crush on el. whichever theory you support is fine.

but, (if you believe this) just because mike never had a crush on el doesn't mean he can't be bisexual, mike could very well be gay as well & only experience attraction to men, but honestly, who cares! i don't think we need to force a label onto mike if the show doesn't want to give him one (yet, if they do in s5, i will update this).

being a bi mike truther doesn't erase mike's obvious queerness, & being a gay mike truther doesn't make you biphobic. it's just not how it works. at the end of the day, mike wheeler is queer in some way shape or form whether he chooses to identify as gay, bisexual, unlabeled, or whatever the fuck he wants.

i'm learning different styles of literary theory & criticism in my english classes right now, & i think something that they said in the class about criticism & theory about writing (& various forms of media, it doesn't just have to apply to writing) is that criticism & theory helps us see stories & interpret things in an infinite number of ways, & i think that's really nice. the only problem is when people start declaring their theories as true.

i've fallen into this, i'm sure a lot of bylers have, into the over analysis train. as much as i love theorizing about byler, looking at the cinematography & writing & editing & lighting & whatever, at the end of the day, we're all just theorizing based on the evidence that is presented to us. just because a light shines on will doesn't necessarily mean that mike sees him as his sunshine & true love, but we can definitely theorize that that's what it means! & after byler is confirmed canon in s5, (or god forbid it's not), we can finally have a resting answer to our theories. but again, a story is a story, you can still have theories about it even if the show is over.

it's your choice whether or not you want bi/gay mike truthers to interact with your page, it's your social media experience & you should be able to tailor it to how you see fit. the only thing i get upset about is the fighting over it. i just think the whole super heated debate about it is a bit silly.

anyway, that's my two cents. this was longer than what i thought it was gonna be & honestly more comprehensive than the video, so. i hope this makes sense. if you're a gay mike truther, you're valid. if you're a bi mike truther, you're valid. if you're an unlabeled mike truther, your valid. if you're using your analysis & theories as facts & as justification to be mean to others over the internet, you are in fact NOT valid.

[zoeykallus]

Hey I really like you’re hc and wanted to ask you how the batch would react to there child failing math and possibly having to repeat the year if they can’t get a 4 (D) in there final

My parents are gonna kill me and I could really use some genital parenting and who’s better far that then the dad batch

Aloha! I'm so sorry, I'm so late with this one! I put the reader in "the kid"'s shoes. Hope that's alright.

The Bad Batch x Offspring!Reader HCs - Gentle Parenting

Comfort

____________

Hunter

When you finally confide in him and tell him about your math grades, he looks at you with raised eyebrows. And although Hunter has never been unduly strict, your guts suddenly tighten. "Why didn't you tell me you were having trouble with this earlier? We could have gotten you tutored," he says quietly. You avoid his gaze and say, "Dad, I've been tutoring, secretly. I thought I could handle it. I didn't want to let you down." Hunter blinks, thinks for a moment, then you hear him say softly but firmly, "Look at me when I'm talking to you, Kid." You lift your eyes again, surprised at the indulgent expression on his face, the softness in his eyes. "Nobody's perfect. Sometimes there are things you're not as good at as others. But you're better at other things. Repeating the year is not the end of the world. However, you'll have to study harder to at least make it through. Uncle Tech and Uncle Crosshair are good at math, I'm sure they'll be happy to help you."

You smirk, "Uncle Tech for sure, but Uncle Cross will just roll his eyes again" Hunter smirks as well and says, "He still loves you, and he likes to help you too, even if he won't admit it" Hunter sits down next to you and says, "Look, when all this schooling is over, you don't necessarily have to choose a career where you need this math stuff. What's important is that you find something that you like to do, something that makes sense to you. Many people spend years in education, jumping from job to job until they find something that makes them happy, or at least not unhappy." "You don't expect me to do anything in particular?" Hunter laughs softly, "Why should I? That wouldn't be wise or fair. Everyone has different strengths, desires and sensitivities. You may be my child, but you're your own person. Just try to be happy with what you do, that's all I ask."

Echo

He lowers the holo newspaper he has just read and looks at you piercingly, so piercingly that you automatically have to swallow. "Math?" he asks, as if he hadn't heard correctly. You nod silently. Echo thinks for a moment, then sighs. "Well, it's not everyone's cup of tea," he says thoughtfully, lifting his gaze and saying somewhat reprovingly, "You knew you had trouble with it before. Why didn't you approach me sooner?" You scuff your foot nervously under the breakfast table and say, "I thought I could handle it. I didn't want to disappoint you." "You were so afraid you'd disappoint me, that's why you're just telling me this now?" You nod meekly. Echo sighs again.

"Then I must have done something wrong in raising you. I thought you knew that you could come to me at any time, no matter what the problem. Did I put too much pressure on you? Is that it?" he asks gently. You blink in surprise. You didn't expect this reaction. "Not exactly," you say softly. "But?" "Dad, you're a soldier, have been all your life, and you often act like one. Everything strictly on schedule, everything has to be in order... sometimes I feel like I can't keep up." Echo smiles sweetly and laughs softly, "Oh Kiddo, sometimes when I'm like that, you have to remind me that I'm a father too, and we're not at the academy here." He leans forward at the table and says conspiratorially, "Your Uncle Hunter was pretty bad at math, did you know that? He was pretty darn good at just about everything, but math wasn't his thing at all" You look at Echo in surprise. "You're serious?"

Echo nods with a smirk. "Nobody's perfect, kiddo. It's not the end of the world. But for the future, you now know you can come to me with any problem, right?" You nod eagerly, earning a satisfied smile.

Wrecker

Contrary to the expectations of many, Wrecker has always been good at math, not at the Tech level, but much closer than you think. There's no way around it, anyone who works with explosives should know what they're doing and be able to calculate the amount of ingredients, explosion radius and much more. Wrecker can calculate things in his head, which would make some people dizzy. So you're all the more nervous when you give him the bad news. "Really?" he asks, puzzled, "Math? Hmm, I guess you didn't inherit that from me then." "I'm sorry," you say quietly. He looks at you questioningly. "Why? You've been studying hard, haven't you?" "Yes, I have" Wrecker puts a hand on your shoulder and says gently, "Then there's nothing to be sorry about. Some things you can't force. You'll find other strengths in yourself"

Du starrst ihn.

"You're not mad?" His expression is almost startled. "Mad? Why would I be mad? That wouldn't be fair, would it? Take a deep breath. I know all the exams have drained you, and you've been under a constant state of stress. Treat yourself, do something good for you. Maybe we should go to the fair in Naboo? You could take some friends with you" "You're rewarding me for my failure?" Wrecker laughs heartily. "No, Kiddo, this has nothing to do with failure. I'm rewarding you for working hard and want to give you a way to distract yourself from all the stress" "You're the best, Dad" He grins. "I know"

Crosshair

He's eerily quiet, just looking at you piercingly. "Dad?" "Math?" he asks as if he has to taste the word. You clear your throat nervously and nod. "Yeah, Dad, math." Crosshair sighs softly, pushes a new toothpick between his lips, and says, "I knew that sharing the same gene pool with Hunter would eventually doom me in some way." You look at him in disbelief. "What do you mean?" you ask cautiously. "Your Uncle Hunter is terrible at math". Surprised, you sit up in your chair. "So it's Uncle Hunter's fault?" Crosshair raises his eyebrows critically and asks, "Have you been studying? Tried tutoring?" You nod eagerly.

"Well, then it's Hunter's fault," Crosshair says dryly, "But that aside. You can't force something that isn't there. Some people can calculate absolutely anything for you, like your Uncle Tech, and others can just barely count their own fingers, like your Uncle Hunter." You look at him critically. "It's not that bad," you say quietly. Crosshair looks at you, his expression softening. "I know, Kiddo, I'm just making fun of your uncle, not you. You have other qualities. Besides, you're still young, you still have time to find your calling and the things you're good at and happy with"

Tech

He blinks so often and so fast for a moment that you begin to think he's having a stroke or something. Nervously, you wait for him to regain his composure. "Math, then," he finally says quietly, "I could have tutored you." You sigh and say, "Dad, your math is always so complicated, I can't keep up. I've looked elsewhere for tutoring, but it hasn't done me much good." Tech puts his holopad aside and looks at you. "Everyone has different strengths, my brothers and I are the best example of that. You have plenty of time to find yours." You ask cautiously, "You're not disappointed?" He shrugs and says, "Well, with the situation, maybe, but not with you. I'm proud of you, of your hard work and everything else you've accomplished so far. You still have a lot ahead of you, this is not the end" "That's really a relief," you say honestly. "You never have to be afraid to open up to me, I hope you know that". You nod with a smile. "I know that, dad"

"Good," Tech says with satisfaction, "Now we'll see that you don't fail a second time. You don't have to become an ace, I don't expect miracles and neither should you. Don't put too much pressure on yourself." You slide around a bit uneasily on your chair. "Do you think I can do this?" Tech nods gently and says, "Of course. But even if you can't, it's not the end of the world. We'll find another solution if we have to. Don't ever let that discourage you."

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

@padawancat97

@agenteliix

@allsystemsblue

@palliateclaw

@either-madness-or-brilliance

@ortizshinkaroff

@andy-solo1

@hunterssecretrecipe

@heyitsaloy

@greaser-wolf

@extrahotpixels

@hated-by-me

@hunterxcrosshair

@malicemercy

@bebopsworld

@echos-girlfriend

@cpnt616

@dangraccoon

@jediknightjana

@pb-jellybeans

@antishadow2021

@sleepycreativewriter

@starwarsnerd111

[notquitedeadpod]

Do you have any specific appearances in mind for Alfie, Casper and Neige? I'm so curious, even if it's just a vague idea or direction.

Hmm, yes and no. Really, the only canon way they look are their descriptions in the show. But there are some things to do with the way they look which I've given a lot of thought to which I'll kind of. Waffle about. These are not really canon things, though, and fall instead into a category of dubious canon, where bc I'm the author I can't really fully escape the implication that everything I say about these little guys has more authorial power, but also this is stuff that's not necessarily consistent or anything that would come up within the show itself.

In the beginning I wasn't really thinking much about how Cas looked beyond the fact he has a lot of very dark, curly and wavy hair, which he should probably take better care of but just doesn't have the emotional bandwidth. I don't think he'd ever cut it off, though, it's important to him. Besides his hair and the angularness of his features, he changes in my head when I picture him in my head. Pretty consistently he has kind of medium toned skin, which you get the impression would be a lot darker if he was able to be in the sun more. When he does go out in it now, he tans fast and gets an extraordinary amount of freckles. He has brown eyes and very angular features, a long nose, a sharp brow. He's tall, ish, but not massively so. He has kind of a medium build, he clearly takes care of his body, but it's all for function, not for looks. He dresses in a way that's not exactly untidy, but I think he sort of just. Puts clothes on his body rather than carefully dressing himself in outfits, if you know what I mean?

By contrast, Neige is small, below average height, and his features are sort of soft and androgynous. His hair is pale gold and very well looked after. He likes to keep it cropped in a similar style to that you see on greek statues, but he has been known to let it grow longer if that's fashionable. There's an almost cherubic softeness to him, in my head. His hair and his skin, all shades of gold, but his eyes are a very striking blue, so when his kill drive is activated and they turn red, it's very noticeable. It totally shifts the colour tone of his face from angellic/ethereal to earthen and fiery. Neige also ✨gets dressed✨ like he is going for a look pretty much whenever he's choosing clothes. Is he fashionable in the sense that he's on trend? Fuck no. But there's something bold and stylish about him, having just decided to put on whatever he thinks makes him look hottest. I think he's accutely aware of his prettiness and sees it as a potential power. He uses his clothes to accentuate that where he can. Basically, for Neige, his body is first and foremost a tool, and you ought to keep your tools in the best condition possible so they can be functionally optimised.

Because I think of the show from Alfie's perspective, his appearance is the least developed. I think he has a lot of issues with his looks, but he's not hateful of himself. He's like. An average amount of good looking. He puts time and effort into how he styles himself when he has the energy to, but there hasn't been a lot of time for that since the events of the show started, poor lamb. He has mousy brown hair which he thinks is boring, a lot of freckles.

I hope that was at least fun if not necessarily informative!!!

--- Eira xxx

[togglessymposium]

I feel like theodicy is the place that (post-Plato? post-Zoroaster?) Abrahamic religions tend to really fail as systems of thought.

Like, spiritualism in general tends to be unpersuasive as a question of fact- there's simply no real empirical support for it, even though the construction itself is often powerfully evocative and beautiful. But the matter of evil in Christianity, Islam, Mormonism, etc. is something else, a place where this subset of religious doctrines just has visible and painful problems on its own merits. It's not just that I don't accept the factual claims- it's that the arguments don't add up at all. Theodicy is the crux where you have to fundamentally choose between doctrinal fidelity and the pursuit of truth, because it's where the doctrine is facially, deductively inconsistent and wrong.

At the end of the day, you just can't propose a flawless and omnipotent designer of the cosmos while simultaneously making evil a centerpiece of your analysis. You can be Manichean, and have evil arise from not-God or from some limit God has. You can assert that evil doesn't exist, though that can be tricky: Plato's evil-as-absence thing was largely unsuccessful as an attempt, both because positive evils like pain are regular features of human experience, and because pure deprivation as an ontology of evil still doesn't solve the theodicy problem. But what you cannot do is assert that the foundation of the cosmos is a perfect and all powerful entity incapable of error, and also that evil exists. The toddler's hand is well and truly caught in the cookie jar.

Most forms of modern Christianity and Mormonism try to use free will to thread the needle; mainstream Islam I think is a bit more Leibnizean, though it still leans hard on human culpability. But you can't actually do this! The claim, of course, is to say that the setting of the cosmos is perfectly good, that human volition itself is also perfectly good, but that volition has the special quality of sometimes (though not intrinsically) producing evil, which we all then have to deal with. But there's nothing in free will that actually makes it a suitable solution to this problem. The deity is necessarily extratemporal, and in that frame, volition lacks the special properties it would need to hold this weight; when you can flip to the end of the book any time you like, there's no such thing as indeterminism. Every human choice has one and exactly one result, just as with any other domain of reality; free will, like gravity and electromagnetism, is a process with wholly knowable outcomes. Hence, 'free will' is (in the context of monotheism) a purely linguistic construction that means only 'the consequences of this process are not God's fault.' It has no properties other than the shift in culpability itself, no proposed mechanism or relationship to other phenomena, no inherent virtues that can be explained in terms of any moral system. It's an entirely circular argument, a way to credit God for very tall apple trees but blame somebody else for the invention of applesauce.

[ambermotta]

Finding "Your Path" — Not as Straightforward as it Seems

In the pagan and witchcraft community, you will often see or even be asked about "your path", and may eventually wonder which one you are on.

Today's post is about reflecting on this subject, rather than providing information.

As such, please keep in mind I only speak for myself.

What is a "Path"?

The definition of path may change from person to person. It can be what type of magic you do, the deities you worship, the many branches within your religion or even the esoteric orders you have joined.

Are you a green witch? Sea witch? Norse pagan? Crystal witch? Rosacrucian? Tarot reader?

A lot of beginners will get caught up on these terms and find themselves in a bit of an identity crisis. "What the heck am I?" is something I'm sure many people can resonate with.

I would like to invite you to look at things from a different perspective regarding what "the path" is all about. Of course, you are welcome to disagree and have different interpretations.

Your path ≠ Your labels

We have hundreds and hundreds of labels we use for every sort of thing in our lives. You can be a father, co-worker, genderqueer, bisexual, animal lover, sculptor, gym rat... all at the same time, though not necessarily in the same contexts. Yet none of these could fully describe who you are. In paganism and witchcraft, the same applies.

We might be called to (or pressured into) choose one or a few labels to describe who we are and what we do, then find ourselves seeing a lot of labels fit but not fully or not on their own. This might make us feel lost and unsure of what "our path" is.

This is just how things are. Labels can't possibly be all-encompassing. And one label can hardly describe the path you are walking. No two persons calling themselves a grey witch or a hellenic pagan have walked the same path. Even their current personal practices are probably different.

The label might be the same, but the whole living experience behind them is not. They may share similarities, but they are still singular.

What is "My Path" then?

We tend to see paths as traditions, ethics, codes and practices we follow, but I will ask you to put that aside for now. I want to share something I've experienced with you a few years ago.

I once told a wise spirit "I don't know what my path is, I'm afraid I'm walking down the wrong one".

At the time, I thought of my path as a road I walked to achieve a certain goal, and as my religion, my practices. I often found myself feeling drawn to many things at once and somehow failing at following any of them through. I thought my path was a mess, and that I was lost.

The spirit answered, in sum: "your path is the path you are treading right now. It is what you make of it".

Sidenote: for those wondering, the spirit was talking through a trusted medium in serious and proper ritualistic setting.

What he said was simple, right? But what does it actually mean?

I am constantly walking down my own path. No matter if it can be categorized as "right" or "wrong", it is my path, my journey, my own growth... With all of its twists and turns. My path can't be wrong because there is no right path either.

It is not a set, definite thing, and instead a continuum of experiences. It was, it is, and it will be.

We tend to see "our path" as a means to an end, a road meant to take us to a destination. We think that if we are not doing something we think we are meant to do, that we are in the wrong path.

I believe this is because we mistake our path with our purpose. We can have a life purpose, or even a fate, but these are not inherently our path.

Try to look at your path as a continuum of your own experience, instead of a means of achieving something. It's not immutable, or a predestination, or even what you are.

Think of it as the ground you walk on... no matter where you go, you'll always be standing on it. It may change its appearance or its characteristics, but it's still ground.

The ground you have walked, the ground you currently stand on, and the ground you'll walk upon is unique to you. No one could follow your exact footsteps or walk the same way as you did. And it exists as long as you continue experiencing things.

So what does it all mean?

It is what you make of it. If you are like I was, maybe this reflection will resonate with you, and maybe one day it will bring you some peace of mind (at least as far as this matter is concerned).

Colloquially, people will still ask about your path reffering to your practice, religion, etc. But I hope that internally, you feel less bound by the constraints that labelling yourself can put upon you.

Remember Your Path is unique to you, with all its twists, turns and your perceptions of them.

Don't feel pressured into "choosing a path" or "finding your path". Enjoy the beautiful singularity that it already is.

If you feel like you need to find your path, try to take a look at it as a whole. Reflect upon where you are, where you have been, and where your heart tells you you are heading to.

And if you feel you don't like your path right now, well, that's a sign maybe it's time to stir it in a different direction. One that you can feel proud of, someday.

Thank you for reading!

[veliseraptor]

Inspired by 'it's not love, it's obsession': what are your thoughts on the parallels between Luo Binghe and Xue Yang?

oooh this is a fascinating one.

One of my favorite things about looking at MXTX's books as a corpus of work taken together is the ways in which you can see her evolving as a writer. I don't necessarily mean stylistically (I don't feel like I can speak to that, since I can't read the original), or even necessarily narratively (though I do think TGCF is the strongest narratively, for all it's probably longer than it needs to be). What I really mean is how you can see her coming back to the same themes over and over and exploring them with variations and shades of difference. There are very clearly things that are MXTX Concerns, as it were, that she revisits and echoes and plays with in all of her works; questions about justice and the cycle of violence are one big one that I've thought a lot about personally.

And when you're looking at the three books together, there are places where you can draw throughlines - for instance, from Yi City > Black Water Arc, or from (arguably) Xiao Xingchen > Xie Lian. In light of the trivia that Yi City comes at least in part from an older, abandoned story MXTX worked on when she was younger (per an interview with her, I believe), I feel like you can draw the line from Xue Yang > Luo Binghe as far as some of the tropes being played with. Xue Yang is (in some ways) an echo of Luo Binghe is an echo of an older story that had a character who may or may not have been named Xue Yang.

In obvious ways Xue Yang takes a different position in the story he ends up in than Luo Binghe does in his (he ends up an antagonist), but while one could look at the Song Lan/Xue Yang/Xiao Xingchen trio and posit Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan as the intended pair of whatever original story they came from, that doesn't, in my eyes, fit with the other relationships MXTX chooses to write. Xue Yang lives at a nexus of a lot of the things MXTX pokes at with Luo Binghe and, yes, Wei Wuxian, but also (to a lesser degree) Hua Cheng - the legacy of childhood violence, the importance and weight of small kindnesses in changing a person, the probing at the idea of people as irredeemable or incapable of change (and finding it lacking).

He comes from a disadvantaged, marginalized background (as do the other two protagonists) and, despite perpetrating atrocious acts of violence (Wei Wuxian actually, Luo Binghe less so in SVSSS canon but explicitly so in PIDW, which is the way Shen Qingqiu relates to him initially), kind treatment from a single person having a deep impact on their behavior. There's also the quality of deep, obsessive devotion, notably beyond death, that Xue Yang shares with Luo Binghe, Lan Wangji, and Hua Cheng (portrayed in the latter two cases as clearly and explicitly romantic and to be valued). Xue Yang doesn't occupy a protagonist role in MDZS (obviously), but he has some of those thematic qualities that tend to pop up in MXTX protagonists and/or love interests.

(Hua Cheng might stand out here, and he is different, certainly, but I would point to the very, very early identification of him as inherently ill-fortuned and bad to be around. Xue Yang has TGCF echoes, I'd say, to a lesser extent in Hua Cheng than in Jun Wu, but I don't think the echoes are absent from Hua Cheng, either.).

This positions Xue Yang, potentially, as (if we're using a crude metaphor) a little bit the Luo Binghe to Xiao Xingchen's Shen Qingqiu, with Song Lan potentially occupying more of a Yue Qingyuan place (but of course that's just speculation and we'll probably never know).

This is a lot of tl;dr but I guess the main thing I'm thinking about here is that while it's I think shallow to describe Xue Yang as a proto-Luo Binghe (or rather, ur-Xue Yang from that older story as), I think it's fair to see that relationship between the two characters as part and parcel of MXTX's revisiting, revising, and reconsidering the same themes over and over again in her work - in the same way, I think, that within the same story Wei Wuxian's parallels with both Xue Yang illustrate that same impulse. (And not, to be clear, as a simple "this one good, this one bad" morality tale; what MXTX is doing with her parallels is, I daresay, more interesting than that.)

anyway, there you have it. I feel like this went maybe a little left of what you were asking (maybe you wanted me to talk about the actual parallels in terms of character?) but this is a sub-category of that subject I personally find very fun to think about.

[elkkiel]

Sorry friends, this is gonna be a long one. I feel like speaking in a space where someone may see and perceive what I'm saying is helpful to personal accountability. Please feel free to skip, it's more of a thought dump than anything (I am midway through writing now and I think I lost the plot a while ago lol)

Topics covered: grind culture, mental health, self-care, and learning when to manually sound the alarm for yourself as an audhd-er in the deep end of life.

Here's some tags that I left on the the grind culture reblog before this. I just wanted to share some thoughts and didn't want them to get lost; I feel like making a proper post really solidifies the situation (sorta like getting those abstract thoughts from your head onto paper, and realizing just how bad it is when it's all laid out before you.) And I want to make a change when I can finally get my head above water.

I think it can be especially difficult for us AuDHDers, since we don't necessarily have alarm bells installed that neurotypicals in similar situations may have but "choose" (consciously or not) to ignore. Things can really spiral into a bad place quickly if you don't have the cues or signs to alert you. We need to be diligent in doing those manual checks ourselves, KNOWING that we have struggles that make life just that much more difficult.

Take inventory of your life. Do you allocate time to self-care activities, and/or are those the right activities for you? Turns out for me that building a complex skin care routine (as suggested by mainstream self-care culture) only stresses me out more. Especially when I never have the energy to do it, making me feel bad when I only manage to do the basics *sometimes* (and the stress acne persists smh my head). My therapist recommended productive activities that involve both current hyperfixes and that ADHD Motor™. I want to learn basic carpentry over the summer, since I love working with my hands! For now, drawing masked men as cats will suffice (though I will not complain about the kittenification of my faves)

Choose a moment to consciously feel how your body is feeling. Check in with yourself! This is important for my alexithymia bitches. Are you more fatigued than usual? Are your muscles tense for some reason? Have you been hungry with no appetite? If you notice anything, let's make some connections—really dig into it. The instance I mentioned in the tags above was a really clear one for me. I took like 12 hours on the IV in the Ivy art instead of coursework, and that weekend I slept almost 22 hours. A few days later, I'm still in a cycle of horrible fatigue and excessive sleep. Connecting the trigger event (taking the time to create "unnecessary" art) to current sensations (extreme fatigue) is giving me insight into how stressed I actually am that I wouldn't have really seen otherwise.

I'm also feeling more and more aware of how activities and things become a bit of a crutch to avoid expending energy on social activities. Idk how many other people deal with this particular problem, but I have almost zero social drive. Like I legitimately don't feel the need to meet people and see friends. Almost 100% of my social needs are covered by talking to my parents, chatting with the girls at work (while at work) and passively absorbing interactions from complete strangers within earshot. It's one of the big things I'm continually documenting for when I can finally afford to get evaluated for autism (babygirl I don't even have enough for the ADHD assessment yet and that's more crucial for disability stuff lol) and it makes life real tough.

Not having the time nor the drive to invest in relationships really stunts you as a person in my experience. I don't know how to actually quantify what makes a friend (e.g. are we friends because we are Tumblr mutuals who haven't had an actual conversation but hype each other up in notes?) and I don't have any time to learn. I can't participate in leisure activities that may take some of the pressure off since I haven't been able to practice initiating interactions. It baffles me how some of the girls at work just casually meet up outside of work, or make plans out of the blue in a conversation (how tf do you gauge when/if to propose something????)

Like, it's bad. I haven't seen my best friend in a year and a half, and even the term "best friend" almost definitely isn't accurate in this scenario anymore. It's just another stressor that could potentially be avoided by lifting one's nose from the grindstone, but it's so intimidating to even try at this point. I don't feel the drive to be friends, but something tells me it's healthier than being alone with my work and thoughts.

Idk I think that's all I have for now. I definitely went on a tangent or two that don't connect back to the original idea so apologies for the letter-based vomit.

ty if you read any of this, if you have any thoughts or input I'm always open for replies or asks. The world is big and fast and horrible and confusing a lot of the time, but I think sharing experiences helps to keep things in perspective.

maybe I'll ask more targeted questions for community input some other time because I'm genuinely curious how to navigate around social deficits (the "who is a Friend and why?" thing especially because I genuinely have zero clue)

anyways have a good day, drink some water, take ur meds, and be kind to yourself

[dmagedgoods]

sorry i really really really want to ramble because my GOD Raphael has me in a chokehold. my christian grandma would probably get an aneurysm if she ever learns the amount of affection i have for a fictional nasty devil man

Raphael always striked me as... i def don't have the needed english vocab for this, but, yk, nudging? hinting? suggesting rather than forthcoming? a cat seeing the rodent go into its hiding place and simply waiting near it rather than pushing its paw inside. a cat staring at it's human when they cook rather than trying to steal the food bits by itself. yk????

he nudges us in the right direction, he knows one way or another we'll do what he wants us to do and so he waits and plays around rather than straight up DEMANDING we do something. he only goes yeah yeah so and so its YOUUUR choice yes YOUR CHOICE..... its like that thing he said with Mol, what was it? "to choose the only option she has left"

and i think in a romance it would be very much the same, in situations. i imagine if he goes in for a kiss, he... well, he won't *go in* for it necessarily. he'll move in just enough for OUR mind to think of it, then patiently wait for US to make the first move, and goddamn it I'm pouncing onto him alright!!! it reminds me of a post i saw a longass time ago about how flirting is basically saying horny/affectionate stuff but also having enough deniability to say "oh,no, thats not what i meant at all". and he's literally the personalization of that.

"did... you flirt with me?" "take it as you will, little mouse, all i wanted to say is [explains in still a vaguely flirty manner lmfao]"

and that opens up, like... how would he be when he's not patient enough??? if his patience is JUST running thin he'll probably pull us closer yeah but make it not too obvious and more almost like how you pull in a dance partner. he can't let us know he NEEDS to kiss us, hmmm? and when his patience is gone for sure i can definitely imagine him just straight up grabbing us tbh. you didn't give the cat enough attention so get ready to be clawed at until you give it a VERY MUCH DESERVED treat you ungrateful human

(cat-coded raphael believers unite)

so so so sorry to drop all this text on you i--- 💀

🏃🏼🏃🏼🏃🏼🏃🏼🏃🏼

Anon, you stay right where you are! Don’t you dare and run away! [Guards, close the gates!] I'm being silly omg, don't mind me. But never apologize for coming at me with Raphael thoughts, I love this so, so much! 💕 Also I wholeheartedly agree! Raphael definitely is an observer who likes to tempt action and then see it unfold, curious for the direction it will go. The comparison to a waiting cat really fits! After all, isn’t it that much more satisfying if the food is brought to you instead of taking it yourself? 😌 "To choose the only option she has left", that’s quite classical devil behavior if you ask me. - Making the deal with him appear like the last resort. Maybe moving a few things into place here and there, but ultimately just offering a solution in desperate times of need. Omg, I wondered about this so much, anon! Because yes! True! Raphael has time and I even think it will take him a while to come to terms with his own feelings (those feelings he shouldn’t have as a devil). The “tempt then wait and see” behavior plays into this perfectly and gives him the chance to declare it a mere game he enjoys. I imagined a scene where Tav or Durge teases him and he can’t resist anymore, loses his patience, and kisses them with demanding passion. But oh, I really, really like your idea too. Maybe even more, since you are right, that’s such a him thing to do. Offering, preparing “the deal” but it’s Tav/Durge who needs to sign it by claiming those tempting lips for a kiss. Or well, why not combine it: Tav/Durge teasing him, Raphael losing his patience (we all know he struggles with self-control when confronted in well-aimed manners), but stopping himself from the last step, his fierce need so very obvious and still holding himself back, because as you write: He can’t let them know he is internally shaking with desire and yearning for them. And the way I imagine him to flirt is quite similar to this, indeed. Sometimes just teasing or some flattery, sometimes lewd like the liquor in bellybutton line, but he has this suave demeanor that always creates a bit of distance and allows his prey to take a step backward if they are not willing to go there (yet). Tav/Durge needs to be quite courageous to get that next step from him. Of course, Catphael Raphael has to make it hard for them, probably because he enjoys it but maybe also because he’s not quite sure how to deal with it all himself. His usual duality of hidden insecurities and egomaniacal pride we love him for.

[batrachised]

I'm rereading Emily's Quest and Ilse/Perry's romantic resolution is hands down one of my favorite parts of the whole entire series, what are your thoughts on them together and the complicated love square between Emily, Teddy, Ilse and Perry?

you can't see it, but I'm throwing back my head and laughing maniacally, for o poor innocent anon - I do not know if you are aware and you might be, but this discussion happened several months ago and I learned (while having the time of my life) that people have strong and conflicting opinions on Emily of New Moon. Never have my lm montgomery posts gotten so much traction. I'm more than happy to talk about my thoughts here, but if you're looking for more, I suggest searching the emily of new moon tag on tumblr or on my blog. (Poor Teddy did not fare well, let's just say that).

Ilse and Perry's relationship is a really sharp contrast to Emily's and Teddy's to me tonally. Although this isn't necessarily reflected on the individual level, I feel like Ilse and Perry's is defined by this activeness/aggression, and Emily's and Teddy's is defined by this passiveness. Ilse and Perry get into fights; Teddy and Emily ignore each other for years. Ilse verbally attacks Perry to his face because she's too proud to admit she loves him; Emily ignores Teddy's whistle and ices him out. This doesn't necessarily trickle down to the character level (I would not describe Emily Byrd Starr as a passive and quiet person lol), but squinting at the relationships, these are overall impressions.

In this neapolitan ice cream mix of personalities, you get so many different combos. (Ilse/Perry, Ilse/Teddy, Emily/Perry (he wishes)..the list goes on). I love how you describe it as a love square, because it really only stops short of Ilse and Emily dating each other, and even then, their friendship plays just as a significant a role as the actual romantic relationships. It would be as if in Anne, Phil did decide to go for Gilbert because well, Anne has repeatedly said she's not interested. That would layer their relationship in an entirely different way, and that's what happens with Emily and Ilse. It would also give us a different impression of Gilbert, choosing to date one of Anne's best friend after expressing romantic interest in Anne repeatedly.

I think the love square kind of fits Emily's tone as a whole - Emily's books don't have the innocence - or perhaps a better word is earnestness - that Anne's do. That friend group is messy. Ilse knows Emily likes Teddy but goes around with Teddy, Emily knows Ilse likes Perry but Perry is in love with her, Teddy is in love with Emily but still choose to date Ilse...it's less a square and more a three dimensional rhombus that's caving in on itself. (floating somewhere in this stew of hormones is dean too, to make matters all the more complicated)

As for each individual couple - your ask didn't ask this, and it's already been discussed at length (see first paragraph) so I'll limit my thoughts on Teddy and Emily as It Would Have Been Nice if Teddy Talked, At Least Sometimes. We barely see them interact, and it weakens the pairing in my eyes considerably.

All the more because we have this passive conflict right next to Ilse's and Perry's very active one, although that's usually seen at a narrative distance (ie through Emily referencing it in her diary). I think Ilse's and Perry's romantic resolution suits them very well - Ilse is someone who has had free reign to do what she wants her entire life, who was neglected then spoiled rotten, and who is temperamental to say the least. Her leaving Teddy at the altar to flee to Perry's bedside is completely in character for her, along with her needing a wake-up call on the level of death haha. It's suitably dramatic and over the top for someone who is very dramatic. It also neatly embarrasses Teddy, who, if my memory serves, needed some emotional walloping at that point as well.

The thing about Ilse and Perry though, is that almost all of their interactions happen offscreen. Their fights, reunion, and married life all happen off screen. In fact, both the 'endgame' couples are marked by this. You get more interaction between Perry and Emily than Perry and Emily, and really, it almost feels like you get more interaction between Teddy and Ilse than Emily and Teddy. I love the Emily books, but they do leaving me wanting more in that respect, especially because these characters are so compelling. I want to read the scene where Perry who is half conked out in bed sees Ilse in all her bridal glory crash through his hospital room door! I want to read more than the 1-2 conversations we get between Emily and Teddy! It's interesting, though, because a lot of what we do see is narrated by Emily in her diary; in a way, Emily is telling her own story to us as she sees fit.