#and i just want to have the opinion of someone else with ASD

[shoyoist]

hello !! i need some advice on a bit of a personal issue here, so if anyone that's on the autism spectrum is seeing this and is comfortable helping me with something, could you send me a dm?

[esthermitchell-author]

Going to probably make myself worlds unpopular here, and get a lot of negative feedback (used to it), but I really have to say something.

However, before I start, lest you accuse me of being Ableist (I'm not. In fact, with my levels of physical disability, to call me Ableist would only prove how little you know me), I want everyone to understand that I've been a disability advocate for a very long time, and that includes ALL types of disabilities.

This isn't some kind of hate rant. In fact, quite the opposite. Consider it a gentle reminder (or as close as I can come to one... sorry, I'm a sarcastic, strange little shit, and I often say things in an effort to be funny that most people misunderstand *shrugs*).

Also, please remember that the same rules always apply to my posts. Whatever I say here is based on how I interpret canon, my own headcanon, my own life experiences, and my own opinions. It is NEVER meant to negate someone else's experiences, or to invalidate their opinions. Please, as you read, keep this caveat in mind.

Okay... Now that we've got all that out of the way...

I've seen a lot of talk about how "Of course Aziraphale / Angel!Crowley are Autistic. That's just how it is, and if you don't accept that, you're an Ableist."

EXCUSE ME? Unless you can point to the specific passage in the book or the specific moment in the show where they say "Aziraphale is Autistic/has Autistic tendencies" or "the starmaker is Autistic and that's why he does what he does" then you can't actually go around calling people names if they don't happen to agree with your personal experience of these characters.

I'm speaking with my authorial hat on, here. If someone read one of my books, and decided to declare themselves the end-all-be-all of authorities on my character(s) and tore other people down as "Ableist", "aphobic", "homophobic", etc just because other people saw something different in one of my characters (and without checking with me, the author, for confirmation), I would be highly annoyed. And since Neil has made a point of saying "if you see a character this way or that, then they are this way or that to you" (I emphasized the last two words for... well... emphasis), that implies that your way of seeing the character(s) is no more or less valid than anyone else's.

Now, I'll admit to being out on a limb in my defense of Aziraphale to the point that I don't think he's the villain he's being painted as, and I'm willing to die on that hill (this is my choice... I'm not conscripting anyone else to die on that hill with me), but my take of that has always been the understanding that it's been repeatedly said by the authors (both of them, to my knowledge) that Good Omens is a love story, and as such, the implication all along has been it's about Crowley and Aziraphale. That would make Aziraphale one of the heroes, and not the villain.

Also, at no point have I ever dissed Crowley (in any of his states of being) as being worth less than Aziraphale, either. They are, as I have continued to repeat, a matched set. That's how I see them. There's no one without the other. I see them as not wanting it any other way, either, based on what I've read in the book and seen in the series (and heard on the Lockdown audio)...basically, every canon source (as established by Neil Gaiman) portrays them as an equal pair, who want only to be together. And that has been my argument against the Aziraphale-haters all along. That if they truly want what's best for Crowley, and what would make Crowley happiest, then they should want him to be with Aziraphale, because that's what canon has established he wants.

Now, if you are Autistic, and you identify strongly with how Aziraphale (or the starmaker) acts as being similiar to you, then absolutely, for you, they no doubt are that way, and you are more than allowed to see them that way, and tell the rest of us all about how you see them that way, and why you see them that way. Write lots of amazing, ASD fanfic/comics/etc to show us your views. You're allowed to do all of that. What you are not permitted to do is call anyone who disagrees with you or sees them differently than you do "Ableist," as long as they're not being mean/derogatory about what they're saying. Calling people names for having a different opinion about fictional characters is just being exclusionary, and if you don't like it, don't do it.

This same rule applies for aroace people, demi/ace people (like myself), or anyone else in the LGBTQ+ community. Please, tell us all about how/why you see Aziraphale and Crowley a certain way. Write lots of fanfic/comics/etc that display whatever your personal sexuality/gender identity is. Draw all sorts of beautiful (or raunchy, if that's your thing) artwork that displays how you see them. But what you are not allowed to do is call people names or accuse them of "excluding" you, just because they choose to present their own viewpoint, as long as they're not being actively derogatory or rude. You don't have to read those fics/metas or look at those images. There are settings to avoid them if you wish.

My point is... there's plenty of room in the GO/Ineffable Fandom for all views and backgrounds. We just have to take a step back from our own narrow lenses sometimes, and realize where we're crossing the line from opinion into hurtful/rude. And we all need to keep in mind what the entire point of this fandom has always been -- to celebrate one of the most equal, beautiful relationships (however you define that word) to span the gap between literature and film. And a relationship requires more than one person, so lets just celebrate both Aziraphale and Crowley, and turn all this angsty animosity into creating a combined will toward their reunion and a happy ending for them both, together, in whatever form of relationship that takes.

Can we do that? Please?

[dontcallmeeds]

Since i have that one post still getting notes about my queer Nancy Wheeler takes lets breakdown the library scene!!! I know its been done but by a previously identified lesbian (now queer transman as I’ve always been) who grew up in a small town with adhd/asd who is a full blown Robin kinnie (but also understands Nancy pretty gd well)??? HEHEHEHE LETS GO!!!!

And when I say break it DOWN I mean BREAK IT THE FUCK DOWN!!!

When Robin goes with Nancy, Nancy seems to agree with her about the whole “oh you think we NEED you” man shit. But then she’s annoyed with her when they get to the library, we can take that as her also being annoying in the car and being into Steve still. But for the sake of this argument, what if Nancy realized she has a bit of a crush on her in the car. She’s passionate like Nancy, doesn’t matter if it’s in a different way, she’s fucking passionate and strongly opinionated. Like Nancy.

“Did I come off mean or condescending or something?” Robin and me are the same here, I’m horribly honest and I apologize constantly because its not that blunt honesty allistics say that they have, its genuine honesty. But when has Nance HAD THAT?! EVER?! Oh wait……..BARB. Yeah it’s always gonna go back to Barb. Barbara had GENUINE honesty and everyone else has lied to Nancy in some way and she’s also lied to people, so she doesn’t think Robin is seriously being truthful!!! She thinks she is being mean and condescending and its goddamn crushing her.

Okay the basement scene is most telling. Nancy is embarrassed she dragged Robin down there. Yes “nothing new” is fucking annoyed, she’s annoyed at herself. Imagine if Steve had gone with her and been in that scene. Now I love Steve, he’s my favorite character, but that would’ve been such a bad scene. She would’ve internalized her shit because Steve isn’t very book smart (i hate the whole Steve is dumb agenda as his number one fan, but he is smart and useful in OTHER ways). Robin fucking is. She’s goddamn brilliant like Nancy and I will die on that hill.

“I don’t know okay? It’s starting to seem like a big waste of time” dude she’s so pissed off at herself. That’s internal, not Robin annoyance. She’s mad she followed her journalistic instinct from the Wayne conversation and dragged someone else, specially Robin, into her hunch. Even though she ends up being the one who is most important in this path!!!

My FAVORITE piece of this scene is “you’re obviously bored, why don’t you call Steve?” The venom in her voice is not heterosexual. It feels like “why don’t you go call your fucking man” internalized shit because (more Barb shit) SHE LEFT BARB DOWNSTAIRS FOR STEVE!!! Broooooo pls your lesbian is showing, that jealousy is only jealousy I’ve seen in myself and other queer people who like women and are jealous of their fucking boyfriends. That level of jealousy was NOT “thats my ex and you’re dating him”. Her facial expressions are sooo fucking reminiscent of her brother’s here in the Rink-O-Mania scene :)))). Queer sibling shit its fine!!

Robin’s goddamn adhd is what fucks this whole thing up much like me being audhd fucks up many of my flirtationships (I’m not saying Robin isn’t audhd but this fandom is…a lot, mostly on twitter and tiktok but still). She mistakes Nancy’s upset with still having feelings for Steve. And I JUST saw a parallel between Nancy and Mike Wheeler that BLEW MY MIND. Someone said “the facial expressions between the six nuggets fantasy is with you convo and the surfer boy pizza convo look like they were going to hurt the other person’s feelings and then got interrupted”. Yup. Yeah YUP!!! I do not believe for a second Nancy still has Steve feelings. I think her fucking comphet was trying to play her for a fool when he took off his shirt in the lake. And Robin wants to be supportive so she gives Nancy that one look. ROBIN YOU GD IDIOT SHE WANTS YOU BRO!!!!

“You do know me and Steve are totally not a thing right?” “WHAT?!” Oh that speaks for its self Miss Wheeler LMAOOOO. It feels like for a moment Nancy realizes how dumb she’s being, that reaction wasn’t her guarding herself anymore. I think in the back of her mind she knows Robin is a lesbian. You can catch her absolutely feral and entertained smile when they pan to Robin coming down the stairs. Like BRO SHE THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY. Like “of course Steve isn’t with you, dummy, you’re too hot and gay”.

“You’re like one of those unstoppable power couples” NANCY’S EXPRESSION TO THIS SAYS EVERYTHING I NEED TO FUCKING KNOW!!!!!!! I DON’T EVEN NEED TO EXPLAIN MYSELF HERE!!!! SHE WAS SO ANNOYED WITH THAT, SHE DOESN’T THINK SHE BELONGS WITH HIM AND ITS NOT BC OF STEVE LMAO.

But then the first “platonic with a capital P” we get from Robin…it started to feel like Robin realizes maybe subconsciously what is going on. Its softer. Its not very wingman of her at that point. It feels like “hey the door is wide open”. And how Nancy looks up from her searching but then flashes her that weird smile. Like “yeah okay I guess”.

“In case thats adding any tension between us” yall…..I’ve said this to girls I thought were straight and got that same weird crunched face look Nancy does because it was like a “you goddamn idiot the tension is because i wanna kiss you”. “It wasn’t” further proves my point, like Robin, the tension is because she wanna hit.

I want to tattoo the last look Nancy gives Robin on my body before they cut to them reeling The Weekly Watcher onto the machines, she thinks Robin is a goddamn genius and wants to kiss her on the mouth.

Nancy literally has to walk away when they make eye contact, same bestie.

Okay then the journalist possesses Nancy’s body when she realizes Robin isn’t mocking her so thats it for me reading into this. But Jesus Christ dude. If you watch Natalia’s interviews often like I do, dude that woman is OBSESSED with the queer ships of the show. Other actors have played their characters queer when its not scripted and we KNOW Natalia is gunning for a Ronance kiss. She’s Ronance’s biggest fan. She’s also a vocal Stonathan supporter which may not mean she doesn’t support Jancy, but she got so bored the last time someone asked her about the love triangle. And while I love Megan Thee Stallion and her love of ST…I was like girl do you watch the interviews??? LMAO.

I am becoming a bigger Ronance supporter than I am of my other ships which is BAFFLING. But I DO NOT THINK NANCY WHEELER IS STRAIGHT. I’m starting to fully FULLY believe she’s a lesbian not even gd bi dude.

[verypsbfan019]

Out of genuine curiosity, what made you decide to give your Douglas ADHD? I kinda wanted to ask for a while but ig I was to shy- ; ;

Also sorry if you've been asked this before btw

OMG Nobody actually asked me this before!!!

Alright, here I go!

The headcanon of Douglas having ADHD appeared while I was writing my first TTTE fanfic "Confessions" which was about Douglas being mad at Donald because he tried to impersonate him in order to help him with his crush with Emily.

The headcanon is 90% based on my desire of wanting a character with ADHD in my AU (since I might have undiagnosed ADHD/ASD too).

Canonically, Donald is quite overprotective to Douglas (like in Brake van). Douglas was the twin who was supposed to be scrapped in the first place as well... Douglas had intrusive thoughts about being found out which made him mess up the coaches (The missing coach).

In Love me tender, Douglas's opinions were ignored by Donald. He was getting impatient with the job until he finally exploded. Showing that Donald tend to do this to him.

In Emily in the middle, Douglas and Donald were arguing and they always come to the quote: "You always do what you wanna do" and they fight...

Also, the need of working together. Although we have seen that the twins can work on their own, my headcanon is that Douglas need to work with someone else because it helps him to stay concentrated on his tasks (and that person is Donald) and working without him makes the job not only more depressing but also more difficult to finish.

These are all just my interpretations of the character! I hope it helps hehe 👉👈💖

[myownlittlehell]

⋆｡˚☽🌌☽˚｡⋆ ℍ𝕚 my name is Chai! I made this blog because I wanted to make something online that represented me. Not just my art, but my interests, my spirituality, everything that's me. Because when I think about it, I don't really know myself too well. But with this, I hope things will change. You know the meme I am cringe but I am free, that's me, that's this blog! I feel like if there's a cringe bingo I could fill that bitch up. 𝕀 also just wanted a social media platform that didn't feel like I had to constantly shill for interactions. At this point, I'm going in with the mindset of, if someone sees it, neat, if not, also neat! ⋆｡˚☽🌌☽˚｡⋆

⋆｡˚☽☁️☽˚｡⋆ 𝕊ome things about me are: ⋆｡˚☽☁️☽˚｡⋆

⋆｡˚☽🌈☽˚｡⋆ 𝕀 make art (albeit very slowly) ⋆｡˚☽🌈☽˚｡⋆

⋆｡˚☽🌌☽˚｡⋆ 𝕀 love video games, mostly Nintendo ones (Pokemon and Mario especially) but I'm working on getting a gaming PC together so I can branch out. ⋆｡˚☽🌌☽˚｡⋆

⋆｡˚☽☁️☽˚｡⋆ 𝕀 was HEAVILY into Witchblr and whatnot back in the day, and still practice some spirit work and whatnot despite stepping away from the community. Mostly Pop Culture Paganism and PC spirit work in specific (Oh yeah I told you I'm gonna be cringe on main woah boy). Spiritual stuff really fascinates me, it always has. ⋆｡˚☽☁️☽˚｡⋆

⋆｡˚☽🌈☽˚｡⋆ 𝕀'𝕞 a stoner, mostly an edible user, but I truly believe that marijuana can be beneficial for certain people like it was for me. ⋆｡˚☽🌈☽˚｡⋆

⋆｡˚☽🌌☽˚｡⋆ 𝕀'𝕞 a kinnie, yup. ⋆｡˚☽🌌☽˚｡⋆

⋆｡˚☽☁️☽˚｡⋆ 𝕀'𝕞 in college as an art student, but because I'm unable to drive and a bit broke (disability payments go brrr) my associates is taking…a bit longer than I'd like. ⋆｡˚☽☁️☽˚｡⋆

⋆｡˚☽🌈☽˚｡⋆ 𝕀 know DNI's are kind of a meme, but beyond the obvious DNI criteria of being a semi-decent person on the internet, I do believe that others have a right to criticize what I post, it's a public blog on the internet after all. I truly believe that it is important to not shut out anyone with a different opinion, even if it's not put in the nicest way possible. ⋆｡˚☽🌈☽˚｡⋆

⋆｡˚☽🌌☽˚｡⋆ 𝕋𝕙𝕒𝕥 being said, depending on how I'm feeling I may not be willing to do a typical online debate or whatever. Basically what I'm trying to limit my sperg rambling to is that I'm open to criticism, but I may not always engage with it. I do believe that the meaning of harassment has been watered down a lot and I want to keep an open mind, honesty with one's self was the main reason I wanted to make this blog in the first place, so who am I to try and censor someone else right? Just keep it decent, that's all. ⋆｡˚☽🌌☽˚｡⋆

⋆｡˚☽☁️☽˚｡⋆ 𝕀 guess other things about me is that I'm a fucked up little dude. I've been diagnosed with a lot of shit and it does effect my day to day life. Things like, ASD, BPD, OCD, (a lot of D's) ADHD, Cerebral Palsy, and of course because it's Currrent Year, Depression and Anxiety (especially the social kind). ⋆｡˚☽☁️☽˚｡⋆

⋆｡˚☽🌈☽˚｡⋆ 𝕀𝕗 you made it through my ramblings…congrats! I'm genuinely grateful someone read this, hopefully I don't come off too wierd, but if so oh well, such as life. ⋆｡˚☽🌈☽˚｡⋆

⋆｡˚☽🌌☽˚｡⋆ 𝕎𝕖 live in Hell after all, why not be honest about it? ⋆｡˚☽🌌☽˚｡⋆

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

060 of 2023

eating disorder questions~

1. which eating disorder(s) do you have?

EDNOS.

2. when did you develop your eating disorder?

In my mid-teens.

3. are you currently in recovery?

No, I’m not.

4. honestly, do you want to recover?

Life would be easier then.

5. how are you doing today?

Pretty okay, except for being a little bit drowsy.

6. 5 safe foods?

Rice, veggies, fruit, oatmeal, cereals.

7. 5 fear foods?

Red meat, sweets, foods high in fat, processed foods, fast foods.

8. do you count calories?

No, I don’t. This is why I got the EDNOS diagnosis.

9. what is your max calorie limit?

I don’t set limits, but I barely make it to 1000, I guess.

10. what is your height?

180 cm.

11. what is your ultimate goal weight?

50 kg.

12. are you trying to lose weight?

Always.

13. have you ever been called "fat"?

No, not really.

14. have you ever been called "too thin"?

On a daily basis.

15. what is your current goal weight?

55 kg, I made it to 60 already.

16. what was your highest weight?

85 kg.

17. what was your lowest weight?

55 kg.

18. do you wish you were back at your lowest weight?

Yeah. Pretty much.

19. does your family know about your eating disorder?

They don’t take it into consideration. In their opinion, it’s a “female disorder”.

20. do your friends know about your eating disorder?

I don’t think so. I don’t discuss it with them. Sometimes someone mentions my eating habits and that’s it.

21. do you wish you didn't have an eating disorder?

Yeah, but oh well.

22. have any "free foods"?

Chewing gum, I guess.

23. how often do you weigh yourself?

I don’t. Only doctors do.

24. thinspo or bonespo?

I don’t care.

25. biggest problem area on your body?

Everything.

26. favourite part of your body?

Eyes.

27. what kind of results do you want to see?

Bones sticking out, particularly hip bones. They already do, though.

28. do you purge?

No, I have emetophobia.

29. do you take laxatives?

I don’t. It would mess up with my medication.

30. how often do you purge?

Never.

31. do you binge?

Never.

32. how long have you fasted for?

Three days.

33. who's your biggest thinspiration?

No one, I couldn’t care less.

34. favourite eating disorder movie/show/documentary?

I don’t have any.

35. favourite thinspo picture?

I don’t care.

36. can you post a photo of yourself/your body?

Nope, no way.

37. how does your eating disorder affect your life?

I don’t think about it, but I realised I feel happier when I forget to eat.

38. what is your BMI?

20 or something. Or recently 18.5.

39. do you follow a diet?

No, not really. I just don’t eat things I don’t like.

40. least favourite part about your eating disorder?

Feeling tired all the time.

41. has your eating disorder ruined any relationships?

Yeah, with my first ex. He was disordered himself and often he would trigger me on purpose.

42. do you have a "guilty pleasure" food? what is it?

Spaghetti.

43. meanspo or sweetspo?

I don’t even know what these mean.

44. does anyone else in your life have an eating disorder?

My mother shows symptoms of BED, otherwise no.

45. ever been inpatient?

No, never.

46. ever been outpatient?

Neither.

47. ever been in residential care?

No.

48. ever been in a psych ward?

No.

49. are you currently in therapy?

No, I’m not.

50. what did you eat today?

Rice pudding and a cereal yogurt.

51. are you scared about the holidays?

Not that much, I eat small amounts anyway.

52. are your family/friends supportive?

They barely know.

53. have any other mental illnesses?

Yes, GAD and OCD. Also ASD.

54. looking for ana buddies?

Nope, get out.

55. what is your current weight?

60 kg.

[myatuesday]

The ever-present question of...

Wtf is "wrong" with me?

+

Wtf do I do about it?

-

Today's question... is it Avoidant Personality Disorder aka AvPD? Or... is it just me?

-

I feel like I have this, but it's not been pervasive my whole life. I also was recently dx w ASD. I'm wondering which came first or one is masking itself as the other or what.

My social anxiety started at 18, but I've always been an outsider or outside of social norms. I'm ok w this minus obviously it impacts my ability to work or accomplish things.

And now I find myself avoiding more and more. I haven't been out in public since May 1 (it's July 1). I haven't seen any friends or gone on a date since... April maybe March.

When she said the thing about holding in thoughts and opinions, that's so relatable to how I felt and interacted w friends when I was 18. I'd just sit quiet in a social setting, my mind of fire, but scared of sounding stupid. Or sometimes I'd be out w friends but literally sit away from the group, distant or try to make myself smaller in some way like by sitting on the floor. Sometimes ppl thought I did it for attention which was humiliating and my worst fear. It's like dear god NO please stop focusing on me. Fuck. 😭

Now that I'm an adult and social expectations have changed, I just... don't leave the house. I don't work because I hate social interactions and nobody likes me anyway (this isn't a self esteem thing, it's a fact. My job history will make that abundantly obvious).

Interestingly enough, my self esteem is mostly fine. *I* like myself. I just know nobody else likes me. So... why the fuck am I going to subject myself to that if I'm perfectly content alone?

The problem is things like making money, doctor appts, legal stuff, etc. Then it becomes a problem. And I'm prone to meltdowns, anxiety attacks, panic attacks, etc.

I have Cancer and I'm avoiding going to the Dr. I opened a letter today, because I won't even talk to them they're sending certified mail, about an appt I missed back in April. It's July.

I'm scared to talk to them about my fears about the procedures because I don't want to seem dramatic or annoying whatever, so... I'm just sitting at home w a tumor.

Totally normal stuff.

I guess I'm just writing all this hoping someone will give me insight. Is this just ASD? Is this AvPD? Is it both? Is it something else all together?

I'm currently dx w CPTSD, Depression, multiple anxiety disorders, ADHD & ASD.

Ativan and sometimes xanax help to a degree. But I'm having issues getting these meds due to supply chain issues.

My dream is to just live on a farm or in the woods or something. Just away from society completely, in my own peaceful little world. But that requires money which would require work. So... I'm kindof just on a fucked up loop. It makes me feel suicidal often. Just the finances of it all, the pressure.

A life without other people would just be so much better. I feel like if I can't have that, life is too hard to bear mostly.

Oh. And I avoid my family too. Yes. I have for decades. I'm sure they think I'm a dick. But it's really that I'm nothing like them and just... really don't feel like dealing w it. Again, it's not that I don't like them, I just know they don't like me anyway. And I don't get the social protocol of spending time w people, that's just SUPER awkward and uncomfortable, just because they're family.

I'm an only child for whatever that's worth.

That pretty much covers it.

_

Then the question is always like...

Maybe it's not me.

Maybe society is just fucked and the fact I want nothing to do with it and am nothing like this people is actually an extremely sane response to their disordered lifestyles and behavior.

Not being able to function in a fucked up society and wanting to drop out of said society actually seems like enlightenment and self care.

Right? Right.

[dizzeeflower]

Allistics (non-autistic people) please read!

I’ve seen plenty of posts about it being important for allistics to not infantilise autistic people, and I agree.

But you know what I haven’t seen addressed and really want to make clear?

Allistics are not allowed to judge which behaviours are infantilising when it comes to autistic people receiving support.

What neurotypicals might perceive as “infantilising” to them, might just be what allows an autistic person to function. I have had this happened to me a few times, but the most notable occasion was about a month ago.

I was not functioning well with living alone and had fallen behind on many important phone calls, was not eating regularly, and was overall in a very bad mental state.

For the first time, I actually opened up to my mother about how much I struggle with these things, and it was a very big moment for me. She was not the most accepting when I was first diagnosed with ASD, but she has come far since then (still some way to go though).

She was facetiming me one day and was helping me write a list of things I had to do and was laying things out in minute detail.

‘Have you eaten today?’ ‘No.’ ‘Okay, you need to go to the fridge, then get some food, make a sandwich and sit down to eat it.’ I wrote all of this down on my whiteboard. ‘Then you need to set an alarm on your phone for 1pm everyday-’ she waited for me to open the app ‘-then you need to label it “eat lunch”.’

And this was the most support I had ever received in my life for my autism and I was so happy, literally thrilled. Happy flapping galore. Suddenly things made more sense, I felt more hopeful that with this kind of support I would be able to function a bit better.

But my younger sister (who really is wonderful, I don’t want this one experience to make her out to be horrible, she really is amazing) was in the room with my mum and she said:

‘Ma, don’t baby him, it’s offensive.’

And I cannot tell you how heavy my heart felt in that moment.

Something which, for me, was exactly what I needed to feel functional and to feel like an adult for once, was seen as babying by someone else, someone very important to me.

And I shakily explained over the phone that actually this was exactly what I needed, thank you for having my back but I don’t find this offensive I find it helpful. She apologised and she sounded mortified by her mistake, I felt bad for her honestly.

But since then I haven’t been able to bring myself to ask my mum for this kind of help again because it was seen as infantilising.

I try not to let people’s opinions get to me but, as I’m sure most people can agree, that’s fucking difficult. Especially when you’ve constantly been judged, mocked, and discredited by neurotypicals your whole life.

So yeah, don’t infantilise autistic people. Don’t call them an uwu precious littol bean. Don’t shrug off their ideas and emotions as unimportant. Definitely don’t feel sympathy for us for being autistic.

But if you see an autistic person being helped by someone they are close to such as a friend, family member, or carer, don’t call it out as being “infantilising”. Because in a lot of cases it’s not. It’s helping. You have no authority in labelling our support.

Neurotypicals please reblog but don’t add anything

Other neurodivergent people can add to this!

[dolugecat]

On some Japanese social issues I had learned about at uni and abroad):

(Rb ok!)

Legit had an epiphany about the true hidden meaning of the last arc of Mob Psycho 100. It’s hella projection but for real there is nothing neurotypical about Mob or Mob Psycho. I do not wish to enforce my interpretation on others (ironic bc I do that all the time but this is a serious social theory). There are some interesting and very sad social issues in Japan that the west really doesn’t understand but would I think help people understand a lot of context behind not only Mob Psycho, but also a lot of other anime. I learned this at my shitty university (prestigious but horrific) and while studying abroad in Japan and talking with Japanese peers. Get ready here we go (and tw for bullying and darker things):

Unfortunately in East Asian education systems, bullying can be extremely intense. Growing up I assumed it was over exaggerated extremely in anime for drama but it really can be so horrific. From what I’ve heard, there is often a single kid or so who is just shit on by everyone else, even the teacher. Mogami land *is* the reality of some Japanese kids. I’ve read that in Korea, this social punching bag sometimes is just the darkest skinned person (yayyy colorism /angry) and or someone who does not fit in. I mean, we have that in America too, but maybe not as common for the bullying to be as focused on one misfit rather than several. These kids just can’t escape the stigma too, kids from other schools find out they were a major victim at their old school and it starts anew. Thus there is so much stigma and incentive to join in on bullying so you aren’t the one. Sadly, this also ofc leads to higher suicide rates. That’s where the “shoe on building roof” anime trope comes in, bc somehow taking off shoes is relayed to death (I forgot why sorry)

There is a difference in how intense in general high school vs college is too. In the West, commonly college is the more intense curriculum and is harder than high school, but in Japan it’s usually the opposite. Grind suuuupppeeerrrr hard for entrance exams (huge standardized tests that determines what college you can qualify to) bc unlike the ACT or SAT here, that test is by far the most important factor for college admission. Then chill and relax a bit in college. Can’t relate. Name and prestige is very critical for job application, more important than here. That’s why planning out your future is sooo much more intense for Japanese high schoolers than in America, and why there is sooo much more pressure to excel in high school than here. Japanese school years and holidays are done different than ours, I’d suggest looking it up.

Social prestige of going to an American high school or college is nuts. Like whyyy do you value our shitty education, Japan’s is much higher quality (it’s bc we neo colonized them). Being able to speak English is very, very highly valued and any association with Americans make you cooler. From my experience, some Japanese students got very excited to practice speaking English with us, and their biggest issues with learning it is pronunciation, lmao. Wasai english is unique slang that is indeed English words but it’s kinda different and it’s kinda jarring to remember lol. So, Teru having parents that are working overseas isn’t too uncommon, idk about leaving him absolutely alone, but I did have a ex-friend who just came from Japan in middle school who’s situation probably wasn’t too far off from that. Empty wealth with no love, it’s no wonder those kind of people can end up being huge bullies (minori?)

I did a presentation on 引きこもり(hikikomori) for which means “shut in”, (like Serizawa) and it’s fucked up. It’s a social phenomena where according to some Japanese researchers a mix of undisciplined parenting, guilt/not living up to expectations, and hopelessness makes an alarming amount of youth/ young adults literally never go out side their house/room. Often a parent is “enabling” the behavior by supporting them, but idk the articles seemed a bit victim-blaming to me when I read it, but I don’t think I should make a judgement too hard, not my place. I will say I do suspect and believe I read something to support that ASD might play a role in hikikomoris (there is pitiful resources for autistic people in Asia, much much less support than even here, to the point I don’t think most know it exists). Like come on, with the other points I laid out my personal opinion as an Asian American with autism is that it really seems it’s unknowing ableism against autistic classmates, but I didn’t grow up in Asia so I don’t want to say.

Mental health in general is tragically quite abysmal in Japan, and with it being so hyper competitive and brutal work culture, it’s no surprise birth rate in Japan is so low; some Japanese young adults say it seems unethical to bring a life to such hostile world. Suicide rate is of the highest in the world. It’s fucked, I’ve interacted with some of the locals in Tokyo and they were so nice, but the business men just looked dead inside, it’s so sad.

Relationships between child and parent is also strained bc of this intense work and school culture. Quality time is too scarce when you gotta work so much. And the pressure from parents to do well in education or else you might end up socially stigmatized is rough. Bc your job is who you are, it’s hyper capitalism (thanks us for making them do this)

With autism being so unknown, support for parents in raising autistic kids is almost nonexistent. What happens if the “darker” side of ASD shows up in kids? I used to be a menace when I had meltdowns, I felt so bad but really just became so indiscriminately violent. See where this is going? Legit, I think ESP is a sort of metaphor for neurodivergance to ONE. There is so much stigma around it, and even less way for kids to understand why they are different than the others. My Korean family can’t admit we all got ASD, too much fear and internalized shame.

I got finally diagnosed with ASD as an adult and I’ll tell ya, I relate too much to Mob hurting Ritsu. I felt so bad, but also not in control, I knew what I was doing but not how to stop. Luckily, is was blessed in that my hyperfixations involved science and logic, so I did well at school. Sadly, our boy Mob just don’t got the passion or ability to do well at school. His kanji is very bad, even to point of not being confident he wrote a kanji (世) they learn when they are 9, in elementary school (thanks @katyatalks). Him being a bit berated by his parents for having bad grades and bending spoons seems harsh to Westerners I think, but IMO it’s pretty tame from what I’ve seen of some Asian parents (I get to say that lmao). Ofc, however the shaming is very real and Mob just agreeing with them about how weird and stupid he thinks he is so sad. There is even more pressure for the eldest to be better than here, I feel from some interactions. Nonetheless, it’s implied Mob is quite emotionally detached from his parents, even though he loves them, which also adds to his emotional complex. Combined with originally fragile self esteem and feelings of worthlessness, we got one emotionally stunted boy. However, contrary to common belief people with ASD are sometimes hyper empathic and experience emotions very intensely. We are prone to having “meltdowns” which if not assisted with can be quite violent if very intense. For me, my worse meltdowns as a kid came from when I didn’t understand why I wasn’t getting what I wanted, it seemed selfish and cruel of me but I couldn’t control it. I wanted to be a good kid, so why did hit my moms leg at target when she refused to buy me Pokémon toys? I couldn’t come up with a good reason for why my mind just commanded my body to do bad things, just a single thought was controlling me, I want I want I want I want I want ____. Which I argue could be what ???% represents… bc well…. Yeah….. hmm….. not in control of self (mob unconscious), selfish (not actually, I’ve forgave myself but my “normal” kid self was so ashamed), destructive, hurt family, wanting to stop but can’t, that’s kind of…. Too relatable.

But legit, since realizing my new HC, I’ve started to think of the last chapter of mp100 when I “explode” and it helps me feel better and I do gain “control” a bit easier. I don’t feel so bad anymore either, Mob!

[gh0st-patr0l]

ADHD in DSMP

So about a week back, I made a post about Karl Jacobs (a bit of a passive aggressive one, I’ll admit, but I think it was justified), complaining that a lot of the ‘criticism’ I see about Karl is actually rather insensitive towards his ADHD. I got a lot of responses to that post, and the most common sources of confusion I saw were:

People not understanding what I was saying they should avoid being judgmental of, or-

People who didn’t know that Karl had ADHD or didn’t understand which behaviors were caused by it.

First of all, Karl has confirmed that he has ADHD.

(NOTE: Yes, I know he said ADD. ADD and ADHD used to be categorized as separate disorders, but in the most recent edition of the DSM, it was decided that they are both simply subtypes of the same disorder- ADHD is the correct technical term. ADD is still sometimes used as shorthand by some practitioners to diagnose primarily-inattentive ADHD, but it's a bit outdated.)

Secondly, that original post made me realize that a lot of people who may be well-meaning may genuinely not fully understand ADHD and its symptoms as well as they want to or think they might. If you aren’t aware, Karl isn’t the only one in the DSMP with ADHD- to my understanding, both Technoblade and Dream have confirmed that they have it as well. So, I thought it would be helpful to put together a comprehensive crash-course on ADHD symptoms and how they effect people’s behavior!

Now, before we go further, I want to address something- as I said earlier, I saw some people unsure of whether certain behaviors are ADHD or “just his personality”. I feel the need to point this out above the read more so people will see it. To answer this question, as someone with ADHD;

A lot of times, it’s both. ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder, meaning that it’s caused by the way your brain developed from birth. A lot of the symptoms and effects of ADHD are extremely influential towards the way we think, act, and behave, to the point where “symptoms” and “normal behavior” really don’t have a clean differentiation. This is why it’s technically classified as a ‘disorder’, instead of an illness. While certain aspects of it can require treatment, the condition itself as a whole is not something to be mitigated or eliminated- it’s a part of who we are as a person. This is also why sometimes, even if you don’t have ADHD, you’ll look at certain specific behaviors or experiences and go “Oh, but I do that too!”. A lot of ADHD ‘symptoms’ are just a bunch of normal traits or behaviors, but in combination with each other and some actually problematic aspects, form the appearance of the disorder.

So, what are you allowed to nitpick about it? Well, there’s no real ‘authority’ on this, and even if there was it certainly wouldn’t be me. But if you want my opinion? Nothing.

See, here’s the thing- what I was trying to say when I made that post was not that you can’t be critical of Karl. If you want to say something about his Actions, his Ideals, or the content he creates- sure, go for it, that’s fair. I will agree that there are some very valid and constructive points to be made. But when you post ‘criticism’ about the way he speaks, his interests or preoccupations, his personal behaviors? That’s not criticism. That’s just judging someone.

And you’re allowed to think that stuff! Nobody can control what annoys or bothers them. It doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person. But you don’t need to be vocal about it. You can keep your mean thoughts to yourself. And if you do make posts or communities or whatever about judging someone for things they can’t change about themselves, don’t call it “criticism” or try to morally justify it. It’s not productive or righteous, it’s just rude. Nothing else.

Anyway. Back to Education!

The following will be a descriptive list of visible ADHD behaviors, using Karl’s behavior as examples.

I feel the need to add a disclaimer here- I am not a mental health professional. However! I have ADHD myself, I have taken some psychology courses and done a Lot of research into this stuff, and I’m the daughter of a therapist with access to a DSM. While I’m not an expert, I’d like to think I’m fairly well versed and knowledgeable on at least ADHD. (That being said, if by chance anyone who Is a professional sees this post and notices mistakes, by all means let me know and I’ll fix it!!)

WHAT IS ADHD?

You’re here for the behaviors more than the science, so I’ll keep this short and sweet. ADHD is Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (Known in the past as Attention Deficit Disorder). Despite its name, the root problem of ADHD is not in the person’s ability to pay attention, but their brain’s capability to manage itself. In simple terms, people with ADHD have a lot less control over what their brain does and wants. This results in some behavioral differences along with some personal challenges, namely a difficulty with attentiveness and self-discipline.

Now, onto the symptoms!

ATTENTION

This is perhaps the most visible and pervasive of the ADHD symptoms, hence why it’s the namesake. Inattention is a lack of focus and an inability to stay present and occupied with certain tasks or thoughts.

Because ADHD impairs self-management of the brain, people with it have an extremely hard time directing themselves anywhere but where their brain instinctively wants to go. This results in inattentiveness and the easiness of distraction that is often mocked or stereotyped for people with ADHD.

Here are some examples of how Karl can sometimes display his inattentiveness;

When he has an idea that he seems passionate about, only to drop it or switch to something totally different without warning soon after (either forgetting or getting bored of his original idea).

When he sets out to do something like a build, works on it for a short amount of time, and then immediately gives up or gets someone else to do it.

When someone else is talking and he totally zones out. (NOTE: While I wont make a whole section for it because it’s not easily observable, maladaptive (constant and intrusive) daydreaming is a common ADHD symptom as well!)

It’s important to remember that the whole problem with ADHD is that we can’t control when or what we focus on. When someone with ADHD zones out during a conversation or activity, it doesn’t mean they’re doing it on purpose, and they likely don’t mean any offense! We often are trying our best to listen or participate, but our brain just wont cooperate.

However, inattention is not the only way ADHD effects our focus. There’s also what’s called hyperfocus or hyperfixation, which is when we are so absorbed into a single subject, task, or idea that it is extremely difficult to get us to think about or do anything else. This is usually because our brains have found something that is getting those satisfaction chemicals flowing, and it’s clinging to that with everything it’s got.

People with ADHD will often experience brief periods of hyperfocus. Think of how Karl talks about spending hours straight working on a build or project without eating or drinking, or how he’ll sit down to play a game with someone and end up going six hours without even noticing.

There are also hyperfixations, where someone with ADHD becomes extremely preoccupied with a certain subject, topic, etc. for a period of time. These can be short term- personally, my hyperfixation can sometimes change as quickly as a couple weeks at a time. However, it can also be long term. Karl has been obsessed with Survivor since the second grade- not to mention his memorabilia, rambling, and constant references to Kingdom Hearts.

HYPERACTIVITY/STIMMING

This is a BIG one for Karl. I should clarify; ‘stimming’ is not a technical term, and in professional situations these behaviors are just referred to as Hyperactivity. However, I personally like the term stimming much more and find it far more accurate to what the behaviors actually are, so I’ll be using that instead for this post.

If you’re not already familiar, ‘stimming’ (derived from ‘stimulation’) is an unofficial term used to describe consistent and abnormal patterns of physical and vocal behavior typically expressed by people with ADHD and ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). This includes things that people usually call fidgets or tics.

(NOTE: There are differences in how people with those two disorders stim. This post will explain stimming specifically from an ADHD perspective! ASD stimming is caused by very different factors and presents itself in much different ways. Do your own research if you’re curious!) 

There are two major observable forms of stimming- physical and vocal. Karl expresses both VERY often! I’ll use examples for each type;

Physical Stims: Flapping his hands/arms, jumping up and down when he’s excited, twisting around into odd positions in his chair, throwing, hitting, or tapping things, standing up and pacing around when he’s hyped up or laughing, twisting his rings, etc.

Vocal Stims: When he gets excited and repeats a certain phrase incessantly (Think any variation of “I’m popping off”), making certain repetitive noises while he’s focused on something or bored (”la la la”, the meow-noises, the weird heart-beat noise, etc.), singing or humming, tongue clicking.

It should be noted here that it’s pretty common for people with ADHD to get “stuck” on certain phrases or noises, and be unable to stop repeating them (reminiscent of echolalia, a symptom of ASD, but not the same thing). Think of how Karl might sometimes keep making a weird noise for an extended period of time even though it’s not that funny, or that one time he was physically struggling to keep himself from singing the Bakugan theme. These repetitions are completely impulsive and trust me, we usually know how annoying it is while we’re doing it, but we physically cannot stop.

ADHD stims are caused by the fact that the barrier between our brain and body is much weaker than a normal person’s. Because of this, most ADHD stims are actually very positive expressions of joy, excitement, or enthusiasm! Y’know how when you get excited, you feel like you wanna jump or dance? The ‘hyperactivity’ of ADHD is basically just that, but we don’t have the self-control to Not do it.

Stims can be caused by negative feelings like overstimulation, but in ADHD this is not nearly as common. Usually, the most negative reason we’ll stim is when we’re bored- in that case, our brain isn’t getting the Constant Stimulation that it naturally wants, so stimming is a way to make our own.

Whatever the cause, stimming is natural and impulsive. While different people experience it to varying degrees, those who regularly stim typically have little to no control over it. Suppressing stims is very hard and very frustrating to do.

Besides that, like I said- ADHD stims are often an expression of joy, excitement, or enthusiasm. They’re a beautiful thing that shouldn’t be seen as shameful or annoying!

BEHAVIORAL DIFFICULTIES

ADHD is a disorder which causes a lack of self-control. Naturally, this means that people with ADHD are inherently reckless, impulsive, and struggle with a lack of self-discipline that they cannot fix.

Of course, people with ADHD do still have some level of self-control, and they are still responsible for conscious, long-term behavioral patterns and decisions. However, in regards to most things, they are much, much less capable of controlling themselves than an average neurotypical person is.

These are some examples of how this will often present itself in Karl;

Excessive rambling, dragging on a joke or conversation when it could and should probably have been dropped, etc.

Speaking over or interrupting other people (NOTE: As someone with ADHD- THIS IS ALMOST ALWAYS UNINTENTIONAL. I know it can seem rude or annoying but I promise, 90% of the time if someone with ADHD talks over you, they either didn’t realize or physically couldn’t help it. Please try to be patient!)

Lack of awareness towards social cues (NOTE: Unlike ASD, in which the person is incapable of/has problems fully understanding social cues, ADHD results in a lack of awareness. For whatever reason, we’re often just not paying close enough attention to pick up on things like body language, tone of speech, and facial expression as well as we would normally.)

Indecisiveness and overthinking

Bluntness, lack of subtlety

Unintentional dismissiveness, accidentally ignoring things/people (NOTE: Again, this behavior is purely accidental. In this case, it’s usually just the person genuinely not hearing or processing things.)

Making noises, speaking, joking, etc. at inappropriate times

There’s probably more, but I think you get the idea by now. A lot of the time, behavior which results from ADHD can be seen as rude, lazy, dismissive, or otherwise intentionally harmful. In reality, we just aren’t wired to navigate common social interaction with grace.

In Karl’s case, he’s clearly an incredibly sweet, empathetic, and kind-hearted person, if the various close friends who have talked about him are to be believed. Just because he talks over people or makes a poorly timed joke, that doesn’t mean he meant any harm. 

I think that’s about it for how much I wanted to point out! You can do more research if you’re curious, but I feel like this post should be enough to tell you what to keep in mind and be understanding about when talking about/making judgements on Karl, and other people with ADHD.

[tobelovedandtohavebeenloved]

For the ask game: Rimmer

(because you were probably expecting him to come up anyways lol)

Thank you for this ask, I really appreciate it ^*^

My main man Arnie J- or as Chris calls him, ‘Smeghead Rimmer’ Spoilers for The Promised Land and everything leading up to it ahead, ye be warned.

This got long, but let’s get into it, shall we?

Favourite thing about them:

From a writing standpoint my favourite thing about Rimmer as a character is how defensive he gets when faced with anything that could be perceived as affection or kindness. It’s a fantastic representation of what growing up in such an abusive situation does to a person, even if his childhood is a running gag they play the effects of it on his self-esteem remarkably straight for a comedy.

From a more personal perspective, I think my favourite thing about Rimmer is when he actually lets his guard down. When we get a shot of him drinking with the guys, or even in the Dave era stuff later on, partaking in games, shenanigans, or celebration of a success with the others while sober. It’s a huge step for someone who’s been taught that feelings are weakness, who again has autistic traits and has learned in his years with Lister and the others that it’s actually not embarrassing to show feelings? No matter how you show them? On a similar note I love how often he has little anxious/nervous stims, like bouncing a leg or tapping his fingers.

Least favourite thing about them:

The way he treats women. I understand why, I get it, this poor man’s so far in the closet he’s forgotten what daylight looks like. He’s never exactly had good role models. He doesn’t know better, and over the series he does learn and grow. Still, I hate to see him go all Incel like in parallel universe.

Favourite line: I can’t pick just one so have four, instead

“I'd trade everything in to be loved and to have been loved.” - 02.03 Thanks For The Memory

“Yes, I admit I'm nothing.  But from what I started with, nothing is up.” - 05.02 The Inquisitor

“But sometimes you live, you die, and then you live again. I know, I’ve done it myself.” - 10.06 The Beginning

“Listy, there’s a moon over here that could use some sunlight.” - The Promised Land

brOTP:

Rimmer and Kryten. Any scene they have in the science room or any of the medscans over the years are fantastic. The chemistry Chris and Robert have is *chef’s kiss*

OTP:

Rimster all the way. Listen. They need each other, and it’s not like I expect them to make out, but they rely so heavily on each other and by later seasons have learned to navigate all of the ins and outs of conversation with each other. The Moonlight scene from The Promised Land comes to mind of course, as well as scenes where Lister crosses a line and knows it, immediately trying to backtrack a la Thanks For The Memory. They’re all they have, and it shows.

nOTP:

Pretty much anything else. There really isn’t any chemistry between him and the other members of the Posse, and most of the characters they meet otherwise are… not vibes.

Random headcanon:

I fully believe that Rimmer is near-sighted and needs glasses. In Polymorph when his bitterness is removed he’s wearing glasses, in Holoship when he’s had the mind patch he’s also wearing glasses. Now, both of these are mostly played for jokes, BUT. in Rimmerworld when he’s had Kryten run a physical on him, there’s a throwaway gag about him cheating on the eye exam. Again, all gags and jokes, but put together the pieces make for a very interesting, ‘let this poor repressed man have glasses’ kind of picture.

I also firmly believe that Rimmer came back from being Ace because he couldn’t understand why being the hero and getting everything he wanted wasn’t satisfying. Being Ace was just more living in someone else’s shadow and doing things you wouldn’t normally, to impress people who don’t matter. I imagine it made him miserable, and he found his way back to the Dwarf as it’s the only place he’s ever felt he was enough.

Unpopular opinion:

I don’t know if this is unpopular, But! Rimmer is I think, one of the best representations of neurodivergency in media I’ve ever seen. He comes across as ASD-coded, but even without that he canonically has an anxiety disorder that affects his physical health as well. It’s often played for a joke, but it’s there and shown in a real and often even sympathetic way.

Song I associate with them: I have a whole Spotify list for him and Lister, but to narrow it down I’d say

Ghosting - Mother Mother or Puppet Loosely Strung - The Correspondents.

Favourite picture of them: Again I couldn’t pick just one, so have a couple. Plus, I absolutely adore Low Power Mode!Rimmer from TPL, but I don’t have any good pictures of him ><

[worldmoth]

Let’s talk about the neurodivergent coding in Sk8 the Infinity

First off:

EVERYONES EXPERIENCE WITH NEURODIVERSITY IS DIFFERENT

i personally have been diagnosed with ADHD and i plan to get screened for autism

All of the information about these disorders come from my own experience and the experiences of people I know, so please take it all at face value

Also Sk8 spoilers, obviously

ADHD coding in Kyan Reki

Reki tends to show the more hyperactive side of ADHD

He often shows that he has a lot of energy and it is quite apparent that he hyperfixates on skateboarding and more specifically on making skateboards.

We get the information that Reki has joined and left a skating gang before he really became acquainted with S. He left this gang because he felt that the others in the gang did not share his true passion and love for skating. It shows that even when in a group that supposedly has th same collective interest as Reki, that he still likes it much more than the others.

In the first episode we see Reki trying to talk about skating with some of his peers, but they just turn away. Reki’s reaction does remind me of when people are trying to talk about their special interests and get shut down. You can see that he was very exited that someone took an interest in what he was doing and was exited to talk about it.

This isn’t just shown here though! Reki has a theme of getting seriously passionate when he talks about skating or making skateboards. In episode 2, after he had Langa were watching skating videos and Langa was staring to talk about how amazing skateboarding is Reki stated feeling a sense of companionship over shared interests (this scene is literally so cute)

I really see my own symptoms in Reki around episode 7 when he starts realizing that he and Langa were “not a good match anymore” (completely heart shattering by the way, ouch)

I find that I relate to how Reki could jut be proud of Langa for so long until someone else had to make a big deal out of it. To me it seems that Reki mood takes a large swing at this time that reveals a few symptoms of what could easily be some underlying depression. He continues to hav thesemood swings later on, where he cant help but be proud of Langa because he thought him to skate in the first place, but it also hurts that Langa could be leaving him behind.

When Reki and Langa make up, it is a lot of Langa reassuring Reki that he still skates because it is fun and he is passionate about it. I believe this helps Reki forgive him because deep down he was afraid that Langa was losing passion as he got better just like Miya did.

Speaking of Miya, Reki’s reckless decision making doesn’t show up often, but when he stood up for Miya by going into a beef without Adam (with the prize being Langa???!!?) is a key example. He refused to back down despite everyone telling him that he should. Even Miya repeatedly asked Reki to back out but he did not.

Also: The wiki describes him as scatterbrained?!?

Autism coding in Hasegawa Langa

In my opinion, the ASD (autism spectrum disorder) coding in Langa is more prominent than the ADHD coding in Reki, though possibly harder to recognize.

In episode 11, while Reki and Langa are looking at the broken skateboard, Langa crouches down, as that is the way he feels more comfortable discussing how he feels. I took this as Langa trying to make himself smaller because the information he was about to share felt overwhelming.

With this scene you can see how Reki crouched down with Langa instead of trying to get Langa to stand. It is obvious that the ADHD and autism friendship dynamic works well for them. (its cute as hell too. look at them, caring for each other.)

Like with ADHD, one of the symptoms of autism is reckless decision making, which is quite repetitive for Langa throughout the series. He chooses to beef with Adam (more than once) despite knowing that it is dangerous. He preforms risky tricks and maneuvers, even though everyone warned him against it. He does not usually think about his own safety while skating.

Also, like ADHD, ASD can cause fixations, commonly known as special interests. We know that Langa has always loved snowboarding (ever since he was two) and that he stopped when his father died. when he comes to Japan and starts skateboarding he starts to fixate on it like he fixated n skateboarding before. He gets to have the same sensation and passion without all the painful memories.

This one is lesser, but I think that Langa’s (kinda terrible) handwriting could be showing a sort of learning disability?

In the later episodes, where Reki is sad and feels like he is getting left behind, Langa has trouble understanding what is wrong. It is really hard for him to process Reki’s emotions.

Langa continuously shows examples of not being good with people and not wanting to be. His stats on the wiki tell us that he is bad with communicating, as well as being very reticent.

ADHD Reki and ASD Langa fic recs

Here are my very favorite fanfictions with ADHD Reki and ASD Langa

Your Name on Repeat by ImPanDuh Ao3

In which Langa has echolalia with Reki’s name (so cute guys i cant take it)

One of Those Days by ImPanDuh Ao3

In which Langa is having a bad day so Reki comes to comfort him (I’ve been thinking about this one nonstop for days)

I Will Always Be There For You by DazzalingDazai Ao3

In which Langa has a sensory overload and Reki is there to comfort him (they are so in love)

Catching Butterflies by carboncerulean Ao3

In which Reki has not had a lot of friends and is falling in love with Langa (my heart!)

The Sleepover by xworldofartemisx Ao3

In which Langa sleeps over and Reki is so in love (it’s so sweet i swear)

I Fell For You (Boy You’re So Screwed) by yuki (kinnienextdoor) Ao3

Renga arcade date (they are so cute)

If i ever write a Renga fic it will have ADHD Reki and ASD Langa :)

[dirk-has-rabies]

Gender variance and it's link with neurodivergency

Okay so this is it going to be another long one

All quotes will be sourced with a link to the scientific journal I took it from

Okay Tumblr, let's talk gender (I know, your favorite topic) my preface on why this topic matters to me is: I'm autistic ( diagnosed moderate to severe autism) I'm nonbinary trans ( in a way that most non-autistic people don't understand and actually look down on)  and I went to college for gender study ( Mostly for intersex studies but a lot of my research was around non-binary and trans identities) I will be using the term autism as pants when I have experience with however when ADHD is part of the study I will use ND which stands for neurodivergent and yes this is going to be about xenogenders and neopronouns.

autism can affect gender the same way autism can affect literally every part of an identity. a big thing about having autism is the fact that it completely can change how you view personhood and time and object permanence and gender and literally all types of socially constructed ideas. let me also say hear that just because Society creates and enforces an idea does it mean that it doesn't exist to all people it just me that there is no nature law saying that it's real and the “rules” for these ideas can change and delete and create as time and Society evolves and changes.  gender is one of those constructs.

Now I'll take it by you reading this you know what transgender people are  (if you don't understand what a trans person is send me an ask and I'll type you up a pretty little essay lmao,  or Google it but that's a scary thought sense literally any Source or website can come up on Google including biased websites so be careful I guess LOL) anyway to be super basic trans people are anyone who doesn't identify as the gender they were assigned at Birth (yes that includes non-binary people I could do a whole nother essay about that shit how y'all keep spreading trying to separate non-binary people from the trans umbrella)  some people don't like to use the label and that is totally fine by the way.

now autistic people to view the world in a way differently than allistic (neurotypical) ppl do.  we don't take everything people teach us at 100% fact and we tend to question everything and demand proof and evidence for things before we can set it as a fact in our brains. This leads to why a lot of autistic people are atheist (although a lot of religions and this is not bashing on religious people at all I am actually a Jewish convert)  this questioning leads to a lot of social constructs being ignored or not understood At All by a lot of autistic people and personally I think that's a good thing.  allistics take everything their parents and teachers and schools teach them as fact until someone else says something and then they pick which ones to believe. autistic people study and research and learn about a topic before forming an opinion and while this may lead to them studying and believing very biased material and spitting it out as fact it can also lead them to try and Discover it is real by themselves.

because of this autistic people are more question their gender or not fall in a binary way at all as the concept of gender makes no sense to a lot of us. “ if gender is a construct then autistic people who are less aware of social norms are less likely to develop a typical gender identity”

no really look: “ children and teens with autism spectrum disorder ASD or Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder ADHD  are much more likely to express a wish to be the opposite sex compared with their typical developing peers” That was posted in 2014. we have been saying this stuff forever but no one wants to listen. the thing is gender variance (being not cisgender or at least questioning it)  has always been closely hand-in-hand with autistic and ADHD people I'm even the doctor who did that study understood right away that it all made sense the whole time: “ Dr. Strang said they were initially surprised to find an overrepresentation of gender variance among children with ADHD. However, they later realized that prior studies have shown increased levels of disruptive behavior and other behavioral problems among young people with gender variance”  SEE YOURE NOT WEIRD YOURE JUST YOU AND YOURE NOT ALONE IN THIS!!

5% autistic people who did the study were trans or questioning. it was also equal between the Sexes fun fact. that may not seem like a lot till you realize that the national average is only .7% that's literally over 700% higher than the national average. That's so many! and that's just in America.

 in Holland there was a study in 2010 “ nearly 8% of the more than 200 Children and adolescents referred to a clinic for gender dysphoria also came up positive on a assessment for ASD” they weren't even testing for ADHD so the numbers could be even higher!

now I want to talk about a  certain section of the trans umbrella that a lot of autistic people fall under called the non-binary umbrella. non-binary means anything that isn't just male or just female. it is not one third gender and non-binary doesn't mean that you don't have a gender. just clearing that up since cis people keep spreading that. non-binary is an umbrella term for any of the infinite genders you could use or create. now this is where I'm going to lose a bunch of you and that's okay because you don't have to understand our brains or emotions To respect us as real people. not many allistics can understand how we see and think and relate to things and that's okay you don't have to understand everything but just reading about this could be so much closer to respecting us for Who We Are from you've ever been and that's better than being against us just for existing.

now you might have heard of my Mutual Lars who was harassed  by transmeds for using the term Autigender (I was going to link them but if it gets traction I don't want them to get any hate)  since a lot of people roll their eyes at that  and treated them disgustingly for using a term that 100% applied correctly.  Autigender  is described as " a neurogender which can only be understood in the context of being autistic or when one's autism greatly affects one's gender or how one experiences gender. Autigender is not autism as a gender, but rather is a gender that is so heavily influenced by autism that one's autism and one's experience of gender cannot be unlinked.” Now tell me that doesn't sound a lot like this entire essay I've been working on with full sources…..

xenogenders and neopronouns are a big argument point on whether or not people “believe” in non binary genders but a big part of those genders is that they originated from ND communities and are ways that we can try to describe what gender means us in a way that cis or even allistic trans people just can't comprehend or ever understand. Same with MOGAI genders or sexualities. A lot of these are created as a way to somehow describe an indescribable relationship with gender that is so personal you really cant explain it to anyone who isnt literally the same as you.

Even in studies done with trans autistic people a large amount of them dont even fall on a yes or no of having a gender at all and fall in some weird inbetween where you KINDA have a gender but its not a gender in the sense that others say it is but its also too much of a gender so say youre agender. And this is the kind of stuff that confuses allistic trans people and makes them think nonbinary genders are making stuff up for attention, which isnt true at all we just cant explain what it feels like to BE a trans autistic person to anyone who doesnt ALREADY know how it feels.

In this study out of the ppl questioned almost HALF of the autistic trans individuals had a “Sense of identity revolving around interests” meaning their gender and identity was more based off what they liked rather than boy or girl. That makes ppl with stuff like vampgender or pupgender make a lot more sense now doesnt it? We see that even in the study: “My sense of identity is fluid, just as my sense of gender is fluid […] The only constant identity that runs through my life as a thread is ‘dancer.’ This is more important to me than gender, name or any other identifying features… even more important than mother. I wouldn't admit that in the NT world as when I have, I have been corrected (after all Mother is supposed to be my primary identification, right?!) but I feel that I can admit that here. (Taylor)” and an agreement from another saying “Mine is Artist. Thank you, Taylor. (Jessie)” now dont you think if they grew up with terms like artistgender or dancergender they would just YOINK those up right away????

In fact “An absence of a sense of gender or being unsure of how their gender should “feel” was another common report” because as ive said before in this post AUTISTIC PEOPLE DONT SEE GENDER THE WAY ALLISTIC PEOPLE SEE IT. therefore we wont use the same terms or have the same identities nor could we explain it to anyone who doesnt already understand or question the same way! Participants even offered up quotes such as “As a child and even now, I don't ‘feel’ like a gender, I feel like myself and for the most part I am constantly trying to figure out what that means for me (Betty)” and also “I don't feel like a particular gender I'm not even sure what a gender should feel like (Helen)”

Now i know this isnt going to change everyones minds on this stuff but i can only hope that it at least helped people feel like theyre not broken and not alone in their feelings about this. You dont have to follow allistic rules. You dont have to stop searching inside for who you really wanna be. And you dont have to pick or choose terms forever because just as you grow and evolve so may your terms. Its okay to not know what or who you are and its okay to identify as nonhuman things or as your interests because what you love and what you do is a big part of who you are and shapes you everyday. Its not a bad thing! Just please everyone, treat ppl with respect and if you dont understand something that doesnt make it bad or wrong it just means its not for you. And thats okay.

[hailwatcher]

Neurodiverse Characters in Fanfiction

PREFACE

I am autistic. I do not speak for everyone in my community. I value and respect the opinions of every neurodiverse person, just as I hope you'll respect mine. Neurotypicals, I invite you to like/reblog this post, but I ask that you do not offer your opinion in the replies or in reblogs. Thank you.

VOCAB:

Neurodiversity (ND) - Variation in the human brain regarding sociability, learning, attention, mood, and other cognitive processes. Includes people with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), amongst others.

Neurotypical (NT) - "Typical" presentation in cognitive traits including, but not limited to, sociability, learning, attention, mood, etc. Essentially, the opposite of neurodivergent.

Hyperfixations/Special Interests - A subject area in which one is completely focused & can lose hours of time engaged in. Sometimes includes an almost encyclopedic knowledge of that one thing. It is very common for ND folks to have at least one hyperfixation/special interest.

INTRODUCTION

Fanfiction is a space created by, and largely populated by, marginalized groups. Specifically, fanfiction (and fandom in general) is inextricably tied to the experiences of neurodiverse people. Neurodiverse people discussing their special interests & hyperfixations and therefore sharing theories, art, videos, fanfiction, etc. populate every single fandom.

Fanfiction is particularly common amongst marginalized groups (such as ND people) who want to see themselves represented in the media and, often, don't. To read a post about how marginalized groups are tied to fandom, check out this post. It was a really interesting read and partially inspired this post.

I am a neurodiverse person in fandom. (I'm autistic, and I've been involved in fandom since 2012). I don't think it's a hot take to say that neurodivergence is not fun. I struggle incredibly with social communication, I get overstimulated, I had few friends as a child due to my being "weird". Being autistic is something I struggle with every single day. It is not fun or quirky; it's very real.

WRITING NT CHARACTERS AS ND

Most characters are written as neurotypical, and even those that aren't (see: Sheldon Cooper) are not explicitly neurodivergent. I see very few examples of neurodiversity in media, and those I can think of are, in my opinion, not good examples of my experience of autism.

Writing characters as marginalized groups is not uncommon. It is incredibly common to write straight (or straight-coded) characters as LGBT, cisgender characters as transgender, etc. I see no reason why writing characters as ND should be any different.

Writing someone OUT OF a marginalized group is something I would never do. Writing a character who is explicitly LGBT as straight is stripping away a key part of their identity, and devaluing their experiences as a member of that group. However, writing NT characters as ND is, in my opinion, not doing that. It is not taking away an experience; rather, it is applying my experience to a character I love from a franchise I love.

A note on RPF, from a RPF writer: despite the fact that it's called "real-person fiction", in my opinion, when you are writing RPF, you are not writing about that real person. You are writing about the person they portray on the webshow/social media/wherever you know them from. They become a character in your fiction, and in that case, I have the same opinion on writing NT people as ND.

"REALISTIC" ND FANFICTION

I would first like to reiterate that no two peoples' experiences of neurodiversity are the same, and that I speak only for myself and from my experience.

I've heard some express concerns that ND fanfiction aims only to highlight the "good" parts of ND. We see more fiction of characters discussing their special interests or happy stimming than we do of them being overstimulated or having breakdowns or not being able to "properly" socialize or read social cues.

I agree that we do need more fanfiction about the hard shit that comes with ND. But I also see nothing wrong with writing the good parts of ND. Fanfiction is a place where I, personally, come to relax and feel good and express my feelings in a positive, creative way. I see nothing wrong with writing my characters discussing their hyperfixations to make me smile, and I have no issue reading fanfiction where someone else has done the same.

SUMMARY

Fandom is a group where ND folks go to find similar people who share their interests. Fanfiction is our response to a society that often casts us to the side, or commodifies us. It's our way of taking back the narrative, and highlighting each other's voices.

Fellow ND people: I would love to hear your opinions on this, whether or not you agree with me. Please feel free to leave your replies to this post, reblog it, send them to my ask, etc. Thank you so much for reading and I hope you have an amazing day!

TLDR: neurodiverse people (like me!) are freaking awesome and I love seeing your fanworks.

[arizona-trash-bag]

I can totally explain a bit of my thinking behind seeing lwj as autistic and wwx as autistic/adhd!! Before I get into specifics though, let me preface with where I’m coming from. I first saw CQL and then read the EXR translation of the novel. I prefer MDZS to CQL, but also want to acknowledge that because I do not read/speak Mandarin I am inherently experiencing this story second-hand and therefore am probably missing out on a lot of nuances. I am trying to learn Mandarin, but it will be a long time before I am even a little close to fluent lol.

Another preface- obviously not all autistic people present in the same way, and many of the things that I will mention are not solely specific to autistic people either. It’s one of those things where all of it added up together points towards asd, but each one individually would not on its own indicate asd, you know? Also, I will say that many of the things I picked up on for both characters are autistic traits that many autistic people have vs the clinical characteristics (much like most of the case I could make for wwx’s adhd would be adhd traits he has rather than symptoms that would lead to a real-world diagnosis.) Edit: OH! I almost forgot to say, that also all of these traits I’m listing are from a western perspective, and I would LOVE to read more about how autism presents in different cultures and to see conversations between autistc Chinese people specifically, so as to see if these traits are specific to western autistic people or not, but again, I do not speak Mandarin or Cantonese or any other Chinese dialect, so that’s a little inaccessible for me atm.

Ok, SO, for both characters I would list: strong sense of justice, lack of care for society’s opinion (I feel like it could be argued that lwj does to a certain point, but imo he operates more from what he morally considers to be correct and from a place of familial duty vs catering to the opinion of society at large), and then more vaguely, they both seem to be “nerdy” (this doesnt feel like the most accurate term, especially because it's not like being scholarly is specific to their characters, especially in ancient fantasy China- it’s more that their particular hmmm, flavor?? of love of knowledge feels very neurodivergent to me, vs like, being scholarly because it’s the thing that is expected of a Young Master, if that makes any sense at all- like the difference btwn someone getting an engineering degree because it is expected of them vs because they genuinely love engineering), and lastly for both- I would say that they are canonically kinky, and while I can’t cite any statistics, there’s a pretty high correlation between being autistic and being into kink. Obviously, not every person who is not vanilla is autistic, and not every autistic person is into kink…….but there is a high correlation.

For lwj specifically, the things that made me think he might be autistic are his lack of outward emoting combined with his depth and breadth of emotions, how he seems to thrive in and quite enjoy the very structured environment he grew up in, and then the last one off the top of my head (side note, I feel like a week from now I’m going to randomly think of other examples lol) I’m not actually sure IS an example, because I know (thanks to the awesome post from hunxi that you linked to that I had read previously) that his succintness does not equal autism, but I do kind of feel like it is very autistic to Always be so formal and to Always talk in textbook perfect language.

For wwx, I also think he likely has CPTSD! I’m not going to list anything for adhd or cptsd since we both agree on those :) As far as being autistic goes, there is, of course, the high prevalence of adhd/asd comorbidity. For specifc traits- while autism can show up as lack of facial expressions/tone, it can also show up as being overly exuberant and overexpressive. Especially for younger autistic children this can show up as being overly friendly/no boundaries w/ strangers (just?? going home with a random man who says he knew wwx’s parents???), making unusual connections that others do not can be both asd and adhd, his disregard for social status (disregard might be a strong word, and also I feel like this might be one of those things that got lost in translation and if I had read the original text I might have a different opinon, but what I mean here is the way that often autistic people learn certain social rules and try their best to follow them, but often do not pick up on specifics related to social hierarchy that are not spelled out for them- I think jyl’s take down of jin zixun is a great example of the /oppossite/ of what I’m talking about, and is a very neurotypical interaction. An example also of what I mean by disregard for social hierarchy, but from my own life, is how I’ve reflected on past convos w/ my boss only to realize that what I thought was just an interesting conversation about our opinons on a particular subject was actually them trying to tell-me-as-my-boss something they wanted me to do. We ended up doing things the way I wanted to do them because I didn’t realize that they were telling me to do something because they didnt explicitly say so, and because I just don’t pick up on when people are saying something from a social hierarchy pov. Idk if this makes sense or not, so I’m happy to try to expand if you would like me to. I feel like wwx could be described as having alexithymia, which is very common in autistic people, but could also be due to his cptsd. And then, I don’t feel like this is a true point because it is kind of based on headcanon? but wwx feels very demisexual to me, which is much more common for autistic people than it is for allistic people. But him being demi is not canon, just my perception of him (I see him as demisexual gay w/ massive comphet, but I know lots of people see him as bi, which also totally makes sense!!)

Tbh, I’m having a harder time than I thought I would listing wwx specifics. I might go through the book sometime this weekend and see if there are specific moments that pop out at me, but tbh w/ him its more that he Feels very adhd/asd to me?? Idk, I was diagnosed w/ adhd when I was 8, and all 4 of my siblings plus my father have offical adhd diagnoses. I’m 29 now and was only diagnosed as autistic earlier this year.  All of my close friends have always been either adhd, asd, or adhd/asd. There have been multiple people I have met that I’ve suspected were neurodivergent who have later told me they started looking into it and are now seeking formal diagnoses. I mention these things, only to give full context when I say that I have spent a lot of time observing the differences between interacting with neurotypicals and neurodivergents. I mean, obviously, it’s possible that I could just be projecting, but to me, Wwx gives off late-diagnosed/heavy masker autism/adhd combo vibes. Again, maybe I am projecting, but I did try to analyze whether I was or not previously, and determined that since in the past with other favorite characters (who I probably share more similarities in personality with) I did not feel like they were neurodivergent, so I figured that probably I wasn’t? That feels like a very convoluted sentence, but what I mean is that I have not thought that about other characters who have been my fav, so I figured that while I do project in certain areas that this particular area probably wasn’t one of them. Or, to say it in yet another way, since i did not project any of my neurodivergencies on past favorite characters, I figured I probably didn’t start doing so now.

I would love to hear more of your perspective on this, particularly because I worry that I do not have the cultural touchstones to realize when something wwx or lwj is doing is not actually a sign of being neurodivergent. I try my best to research things I don’t know about and to listen to fans who actually do have that cultural understanding, but there’s only so much I can look into on my own when I only speak/read english. And also, I love mdzs and I love talking about both adhd and autism, so I’m glad to talk about these subjects with someone else who also likes all of those topics :) Sorry for sending a book of a response and also I hope you are having a great day!!

wow wow wow anon THANK YOU for doing your research and acknowledging your blind spots you seriously made my day. I wanted to get to this as soon as I made that rant while sharing cyan’s post bc this is specifically an example of a well researched proposition based on actual lived experience and critical thinking.

I almost want to ask you to come forward so we can take this convo elsewhere for a more nuanced discussion bc you’ve already hit upon an issue that’s been holding me back from making a big blathering masterpost on the matter - that the ND experience is so unique and individual, and no one person can dictate someone else’s experience. at the end of the day, if you personally relate to these characters and gain more understanding of yourself and your experiences from them, who am I to take that away from you?

in a public space though I have to make the discussion very broad in order to accurately contextualize these issues, bc in typical autistic fashion I feel morally compelled to Do My Best and Get It Right even as the masses show no inclination of returning the favor, so apologies for the boring backstories I have to get out of the way before we can approach anything resembling new ground.

first from a diagnostic standpoint, while I recognize the traits you listed (and appreciate your clearly nuanced understanding of ND expressions) and would find value in exploring them in a personal context, they are not unique to adhd and/or autism and wouldn’t constitute a basis for diagnosis in a clinical setting. I know that's probably beside the point for this anon, but there's enough edgy teens hoarding labels out there without tacit encouragement from scientists (yes I am technically a scientist, even though my ideologies these days range from conventional to... wildly esoteric, shall we say)

from a cultural standpoint, it’s important for me to emphasize that the concept of neurodivergence is a uniquely western notion. for those unfamiliar, the term 'neurodiversity' was only coined in 1998. I was born in 1991. I existed for a whole 7 years as an autistic person before the idea of being neurodivergent was even a thing. this ND acceptance thing is very, very new - people were not making tiktok confessionals about their adhd diagnosis journeys when I was growing up.

china, like most asian countries, is about 20 years or more behind on just about every social issue compared with western countries. to better illustrate, the experience of being ND in china falls much closer to the conventional experience of disability (i.e. being eugenicized out of existence) than the tentative ND acceptance movement that’s been kickstarted in the past 20 years in the anglosphere.

safe to say, there is no ND coding going on in chinese media. characters are either explicitly ND or they're not. there's no basis for a creator subtly inducing ND-like traits in a character, because there's no such thing as ND awareness in the cultural context of where mdzs was written and consumed. any resemblance is purely accidental, as they say.

as to how this resemblance could exist - I could go into the layers and layers of historical, cultural, social and religious context that make up these characters and the xianxia genre as a whole. for this anon in particular i'm happy to, because they've done the work. please please get in touch in some way where we can have a fully fleshed out chat if you're interested in taking this further, I realize i’ve basically addressed none of the finer points you’ve raised but honestly it’s another level of discussion to be had that cannot be summarized in one blog post haha.

as for those who would scream 'but special interests!!' at a character whose sect was founded by a literal monk - what would be the point?

PS. to comprise a starting point for why it's possible to see ND4ND everywhere in media if you looked hard enough - I refer you to the seminal red oni blue oni trope 💁‍♀️

[obsessively-compulsive]

I know I am not someone who knows you or your life but I would like to give you some food for thought I wish I had gotten when I was younger. You may not actually have bpd. There is a reason it isn't diagnosed under 18.

When I was a teenager everyone thought I had bpd because I had most of the symptoms if not all, seemingly.

Although occam's razor dictates we should always look to the fewest things to find an answer, life is often more complicated.

At your age your hormones are all whacked, emotions are far more complex, and your executive functions are under developed yet. You may find these traits dissipate as you get older. (starting around 20ish)

Explosive Anger, self destructive habits, feelings of empitiness etc. can be symptoms of depression.

Impulsivity is also a symptom of adhd (which manifests more subtle in girls) or just your age. Negative impulses can be caused a cross between the two.

Fluctuating self-image, ideal/deval, fear of abandonment etc. Can be manifestations of previous trauma, or current difficulties in your household, or a complicated history with personal and peer relationships. Etc.

My story isn't yours obviously, but everyone convinced me I had it and I agreed because I couldn't find other explanations.

I ended up having adhd/autism, a very toxic household, severe anxiety and depression and a few other issues.

A lot of the emotional behavior I had was a manifestation of all my needs not being met, poor behavior from those around me who didn't understand how to help, and just normal teenage behavior that was exaggerated by other mental health issues.

I only bring it up because:

1. As I aged these behaviors lessened, and I think people should be cautious to not accidentally pathologize developememt.

2. People believing i had bpd made them stop looking for other answers and treat me poorly.

3. When people realized other things were wrong and started accommodating them or looking through a different lense instead of villanizing them my 'symptoms' got better. (Ex. I wasn't angry and acting out, I was upset because I couldn't talk, too much noise, I didn't understand something, I was anxious, my routine was upset, I was depressed etc.)

4. When I hear a girl is considering neurodivergency but gets hit with bpd it makes me suspicious. (Esp a teenager) I know it can be true for you or maybe having both but I know what happened to me.

5. Its a common misdiagnosis in teenage girls because we are more likely to be thrown into a box of 'just over-emotional and reactive', just like certain personality disorders are misdiagnosed with boys because of our view of gender norms.

Otherwise, there is nothing wrong with having bpd if you do, and I don't mean to cross any lines or act like I know better. I just want you to know that I got misdiagnosed a lot by a number of doctors who insisted they know more about me than myself, and I didn't start getting better until the truth was found out.

Dbt therapy can be super useful so if you believe you have it its worth doing. But if you have any lingering doubts even if they've otherwise convinced you. Trust your gut. It can be hard to voice your opinion if everyone else is saying something else, but you won't get better unless the diagnosis is right.

Like I said, I don't want to come here on anon and tell you your business, I just really wish someone would have played devil's advocate for me and saved me 5+ years of my life.

I wish you all the best in your journey no matter where it takes you. Have a good day. 🌸

Thank you for giving me advice! I've been diagnosed with ADHD and suspected to have mild ASD for a couple years now until very recently. Stimulants and other treatments never seemed to help. I'm not 100% sure i have BPD but i've been told by pros that i meet the criteria, at least at the moment. I know for a fact that I overreact and am incredibly impulsive and have "episodes" of ignorance of logic where i hurt people just to get what i want. Although it could be something else, I do think it's likely to be BPD!