#and i was meeting friends online and i just texted them all instead

[hippo-pot]

-desperate for social interaction in my city of residence (instead of having to go up to nearby major city to see my social circles there. like i'll do that sometimes but come on)

-going to library events frequently. meeting people. see, i'm putting in the effort

-join a Democrat social group (more for the 'social' part than the 'Democrat' part b/c i'd rather be working on like, prison abolition, but the odds of me finding a prison abolition group in my small city are uhhhhhhh)

-'we have a really active facebook group' 'my husband and i don't do facebook' 'that's fine, we send out emails too'

-actually really have a good time at the social event i go to, looking forward to the next one

-hear that it's gonna be relatively near us, at a place we've been wanting to check out anyway, nice, extra looking forward to it now

-don't know when it is though

-no email about it for a couple weeks. (actually no email about it whatsoever, it was only ever word of mouth for us)

-email to ask

-'that was last week' (no apology for not sending an email)

i am absolutely fuming. i think i'm so mad because i know it would be easier to participate if i just gave in and got back on facebook. but that would be an absolute last resort for me

[beginningofwonderland]

Angel - Park Seonghwa

Pairing: domSeonghwaxfemReader

Genre: smut (MINORS DNI!)

Word count: 5.2k

Summary: During a gaming session with your best friend San you admit to him that your boyfriend Seonghwa is too soft to you. You complain about his angel persona and want him to fuck you right instead. To your demise, Seonghwa accidentally listened in on your conversation and is now determined to make all your wishes come true.

Warnings: establishing a safeword but NO USE of that safeword, rough sex, oral sex (both receiving), deep-throating, choking, unprotected sex (don't do this!!), creampie, dumbification

Seonghwa littered soft kisses from your jaw to your lips and smiled at you like the human incarnation of sunshine.

"You feel good now, baby?" he asked with a smirk.

"Yes, I do angel." You nuzzled your head into his shoulder in response.

You did feel good. After a cuddly makeout session that had turned steamy in the laziness of a saturday morning Seonghwa had just finished eating you out for what felt like hours. He was an expert with his tongue, making you come multiple times until you had to pull him away from your sensitive core because he would go on forever if he could.

But still you felt like something was missing. With the way he always held onto you like a delicate flower, his fingers merely ghosting over your skin. Sometimes you wished for them to just grab you, to leave you bruised and crying beneath him until you couldn't take any more.

You and Seonghwa were still a relatively new thing and you were sure he had this cute little image of you inside his head that you were afraid to destroy. But deep down inside, you just wanted him to treat you more roughly when it came to the bedroom.

"I'll make us some coffee," he pulled you from your dirty thoughts and you released him from your hug so that he could get out of bed. When he left the room, you sighed. You had tried to give him hints before, telling him to go harder, moving your own hands on top of his to squeeze your skin, but he continued treating you like fine porcelain.

You soon got dressed and joined Seonghwa to make some breakfast. You two shared pancakes in the morning sunlight that fell through the wall length windows in Seonghwa's apartment as you talked about your plans for the day.

"I have a meeting with Hongjoong and then I'll have to run some errands today," Seonghwa explained. "I won't be back before dinner."

"Then I'll meet up with San online for some gaming later. We haven't been able to play in ages." Since San had moved to the other end of town, you two met online more often than in real life and usually used that time to catch up on each other and discuss the hottest gossip. You two had been best friends for years and you had actually met Seonghwa through him.

"That sounds good. Say 'hi' to him from me."

You finished your breakfast and Seonghwa soon left for his appointment with Hongjoong. You started off your day slowly and watched some Netflix before taking a shower and getting dressed. You usually stayed at Seonghwa's place over the weekend since he had the bigger and much nicer apartment out of the two of you.

He even let you make your own little gaming area in his office room where you could play when you stayed at his place. You got yourself a cold drink and finally settled into his comfortable office chair to go online and play with San. He had agreed to meet up only minutes after you had texted him. He usually stayed in on the weekends anyway.

"Hey Sannie," you greeted him through your headset as soon as you joined the call with him.

"Helloooo," he answered in a bright spirit.

You two started setting up the game and soon joined the first match while exchanging small talk. It was a comfortable routine for both of you. Somehow talking to each other while busying yourself with a game just made everything easier. Before you even noticed, you two were already playing for hours.

"So how is it really going right now, San?" You asked during an annoyingly long loading screen. "How is living with Wooyoung?"

A deep sigh was hearable through San's microphone. "He's being Wooyoung, like always. But lately he got into cooking so at least I get meals now to compensate for his annoying ass."

You laughed at his whiny tone. You knew how the two friends were around each other; always teasing and annoying each other but still inseparable. "Just don't fight over a stupid puzzle again. I'm sick of finding pieces whenever I visit you two."

San chuckled at the memory of how he and Wooyoung had thrown puzzle pieces at each other in a petty fight. "And how is it going with Seonghwa?" he asked in return.

"Good," you answered. Your mind couldn't help but wander to the worries you had had just this morning.

"Oh god what is it?" San asked in a panicked tone.

"What do you mean? I said good!" You tried to defend yourself.

"Yeah, but you should've heard yourself saying it. Terrible would've sounded nicer."

You groaned in frustration. You didn't mean to make it sound that bad.

"What is it?" San pressed on. "Cause I swear to god if he treats you badly I will collect Wooyoung and we will kick his ass-"

"He treats me very well, don't worry," you interrupted San before he could get any more dumb ideas.

"You sure?" the man asked sceptically. The next match finally started and you didn't even realize your rambling as you answered him.

"Yeah, in fact he is a literal angel. He already knows all my favourite candies and brings me some everytime he visits the store. He always lets me choose what to watch even if he hates the cheesy horror movies I like. I mean he basically let me turn his office into a gaming room for me."

"I'm happy to hear that. But what is the problem then?" San asked with confusion evident in his voice. "Does he not fuck you right?"

You didn't want to admit to it but the prolonged silence spoke volumes. San laughed at the other end of the call.

"Damn, and I always thought he had it in him. He acts like he does at least. You two do fuck, right?"

San couldn't see but you blushed helplessly in front of the monitor. "Yes, we do. God this is embarrassing."

"How is this embarrassing? You always told me about your dates before Seonghwa. In detail," San argued with you while quite literally saving your life in the match you couldn't concentrate on any more.

"That was fine because you didn't know any of those guys. But you've known Seonghwa longer than I do and this is... embarrassing."

"You're being annoying. You can talk to me Y/n. Maybe I can help," he tried to coerce you into spitting out your problem. "Also I'm nosy. So what's the problem?"

What you didn't notice was that Seonghwa had already returned to the apartment. He had made an effort to open the door as silently as possible. He knew you would still be gaming with San and wanted to surprise you with a self-cooked dinner after you were done. He had sped through all his errands, so that he could come home earlier.

After returning he couldn't resist to check in on you for a second. He wanted to make sure you hadn't noticed his early return and also get another glance at you before preparing dinner. You always looked so cute at his desk with your headset and controller.

He cracked open the door to his office carefully. As expected, you were completely focussed on the game and didn't notice a thing. His eyes flitted over your tight crop top and the sweat shorts you were wearing in the heat and his mind already started wandering places at the sight of your glistening skin. What he didn't expect was what you were talking about.

"The problem is that he treats me a little to well."

Is she talking about me?

Seonghwa was stunned into his place. He knew he shouldn't eavesdrop but he couldn't resist staying a little longer to hear what else you had to say.

"I think you'll need to elaborate on that," San replied audibly confused.

"He treats me like a porcelain doll!" you finally admitted. "I think he has this image of me as his cute, innocent girl that he doesn't want to hurt. But I really wished he would just fuck me without holding back."

San chuckled at the other end of the call. Meanwhile Seonghwa was frozen into his spot. He couldn't believe his own ears. He would've never guessed that this was what you wanted and was surprised by your words.

But more than that he felt a burning heat spread through his whole body as he processed what you said. You wanted him to have his way with you without holding back. The thought made him dizzy.

Ever since you two were together that was exactly what he had been doing: holding back. He thought that you deserved someone that loved you tenderly and carefully. So he tried his best to be that person.

"That sounds like you should just talk to him," San replied after some pondering.

" know," you said. "I want to tell him but I don't know how. It's kind of hard to bring up..."

Seonghwa swallowed hard as he felt bad that you were afraid to speak up to him. You were right. He didn't want to hurt you because he couldn't stand the thought of you hurting. But now that he knew that was exactly what you wanted... he felt every little bit of self control leave his body. He left his place at the door before he could fuck you right there in his office chair and closed the door silently behind him. He had different plans with you.

"I'm afraid he might not like it," you shyly added to San in the silence.

"Trust me," San snickered. "He is heads over heels for you. He won't push you away. Also I happen to know Seonghwa well enough to assure you, that's exactly what he likes."

You smiled at San's reassuring words and you two continued your game. Talking to him had actually made you feel better. You planned on talking to Seonghwa as soon as the opportunity came up.

----------------------------------

You put the controller back into the drawer which Seonghwa kept free for only you and stretched your limbs after getting out of the chair. You had played longer than expected but it was nice to catch up with San.

Just as you made your way into the living room to maybe watch some more Netflix until Seonghwa returned, you heard some rumbling in the kitchen. The noise took you by surprise and you got scared for a second, thinking it might be an intruder.

"Hwa?" you called out carefully and wandered towards the kitchen. Your heartbeat quickened when noone answered you.

You turned the corner only to see Seonghwa deeply in thought apparently concentrating on the stir fry in front of him. You relaxed as you saw him standing in the kitchen and not a robber.

"You're home already! Why didn't you come say hi to me?" you asked cutely and wrapped your arms around his torso careful not to interrupt his cooking.

He looked down at you almost like in a haze and it took a few seconds before he answered.

"I didn't want to interrupt your gaming session so I thought I'd cook us some dinner."

"That's very nice of you," you said and placed a tender kiss on his cheek. He really did treat you so well. You should talk to him after dinner.

But Seonghwa still seemed to be caught up in something. His eyes stared into the frying pan blankly and his hand stirred in a robotic motion. You eyed him carefully, wondering what could be going on in his head.

"Is everything okay, Hwa?" you asked him worriedly.

In response Seonghwa seemed to snap out of his focus and smiled at you: "Of course, sweetheart."

But his answer sounded posed, his voice a little too melodious as he tried sounding happy. You let it slide for now, not wanting to push him, maybe you were over-interpreting his behaviour.

What you couldn't know was that Seonghwa had spent every single second since he heard you talking to San imagining the things he wanted to do to you. His hand moved without him even noticing as he prepared the meal but his mind was all over the places he wanted to fuck you in now that he knew how much you wanted him to ruin you.

All of the possibilities clouded his mind and he found himself almost a little mad at you for not speaking up to him. All he wanted was for you to be happy but you would have to let him.

Both of you set the table and Seonghwa finished cooking dinner. You two settled down in an unusual silence as he started to fill your plate.

"How was your meeting with Hongjoong?" you asked, trying to get him to talk.

"Good," Seonghwa answered once again, his mind miles away from the meeting with his friend. In fact he couldn't even remember what they had talked about anymore.

His short reply worried you even more. "Are you sure, you're okay, Hwa? I feel like there's something you're not telling me."

Before he could hold himself back Seonghwa huffed out a breath of air and looked at you with a glint in his eyes. The intensity his gaze suddenly held took you by surprise.

"You think there's something I am not telling you?" he asked you back with a cocked up eyebrow. He was still standing while you had already sat down and his hands now came down onto the table to support himself as he looked at you with dark eyes.

 A cold shiver ran over your skin by the insinuation of his words. What was he talking about?

"What do you mean, angel?" you asked him in confusion.

Seonghwa slowly made his way over to you, his eyes fixed on yours like you were his prey. He stopped only inches before you before bending down to be at eye level with you. You could feel his hot breath on your lips.

"Angel. That's the problem about me isn't it? I'm too nice to you aren't I?" he asked with a pitying voice. He wasn't actually mad at you, but your question had stirred the tiniest bit of anger within him that mixed with all the held back sexual desire he had for you after overhearing your talk to San.

You couldn't answer him. How did he find out about what you had only just admitted to your best friend? Every sound got stuck in the back of your throat as Seonghwa stared at you so intensely. The way he hovered above you excited you wildly.

Your boyfriend seemed to take pity on you as he answered your unasked question: "I wanted to see if you were still playing with San when I overheard your little conversation."

A rush of embarrassment ran through you and you lowered your head to hide the blush on your cheeks. But at the same time you got excited. Judging from his behaviour he must have overheard the most important part. When he laid a finger under your chin to lift your head back up, you were already putty in his hands.

"I'm sorry, Hwa. I swear I wanted to talk to you about it," you started apologizing before he even asked you to. An amused grin spread over Seonghwa's handsome features and a small chuckle left him.

"And when exactly, princess? After I eat you out again for hours and you tell me you feel perfect? Did you lie to me too?"

He knew he was getting cruel but the way your eyes widened and you looked at him through those puppy eyes, he was sure he was pushing exactly the right buttons. The panic in your eyes only added to the burning desire inside of him.

"No! I didn't lie to you, Seonghwa! You are so good with your tongue, please I'm sorry." You almost stumbled over your words, eager to calm down the flames behind his hungry eyes.

"Sorry for what exactly? Tell me and I might forgive you." He said those last words slowly, almost in a whisper. Like he wasn't really sure about the idea of forgiving you.

"I'm sorry for not telling you what I want."

"And what is it that you want?" A dangerous smirk spread on his face. He wanted you to say it. Wanted to hear your pretty little voice repeat the words you had spoken to San before.

"I want you to be more rough with me," you almost whispered in admittance as you couldn't help but get shy under his stare.

"What did you say, baby? I couldn't hear you." His hand tightened it's grip on your chin and you almost moaned, already arching your back a little under his touch.

"I want you to be more rough with me, Seonghwa," you repeated louder this time, eyes looking up at him pleadingly.

"No, no. Exactly what you said before, baby!"

You had to rummage through your memory for a second before you could recall the words, you had spoken to San before:

"I really want you to just fuck me without holding back."

"Good girl," he hummed out and you couldn't help but shudder. "Now was that so hard? You know I couldn't help but get a little mad at you for telling San but not me. But now that you already look so pliant for me I can't really hold a grudge."

You swallowed and looked at him expectantly.

"So I can have my way with you now, beautiful?" he asked eagerly, eyes darkening by the second.

"Please," you answered already desperate for him to touch you. You never knew Seonghwa could be this way, but his dominant behaviour already drove you to insanity. If you had known, you would've told him way earlier about your desires.

"Then there's just one more thing," his expression suddenly turned soft again. "I need you to choose a safe word in case I get too much for you. If I make you uncomfortable in any way I want you to stop me. Okay, baby?"

You nodded at him with warm eyes. He made you feel so incredible safe. "How about eavesdropping?"

"You really want me to punish you, don't you?" Seonghwa said in a low tone and lifted your chin just a tiny bit more to show you who was in charge.

"I'm sorry, I'm just joking. I'll go with..." Your eyes flitted across the room in search for a useful word: "sunset."

Seonghwa smiled at you: "Better." Then his eyes darkened again and the warm smile dropped from his face as he looked you up and down.

"You know what I always wanted to do with you?" he asked tauntingly, his thumb running over your bottom lip and his eyes following its trail.

You gave a small shake of your head to show him you didn't know the answer. A smirk tugged on one end of his lips in response.

"You know how much I love it when you're giving me blowjobs, don't you? But I always wanted to fuck your pretty little mouth and make you choke on my cock until you can't breath anymore."

His direct words sent a jolt of electricity through your body and you couldn't stop a moan escaping your lips. His eyes flitted up to yours in surprise at the sound.

"So eager already? Then how about we make that your punishment for not telling me what you actually want, princess?"

You nodded quickly: "Please."

He huffed at you. "Please what, baby? It looks like I need to teach you how to talk properly from now on."

"Please choke me on your cock," you replied shamelessly, eyes blown wide as you stared at him from beneath.

Seonghwa groaned at your words and suddenly he grabbed you by your shoulders and shoved you down to the floor on your knees. He observed you cautiously, worried he might be too rough with you but the fire in your eyes only lit up more as he manhandled you onto the ground.

"Get those pants off of me unless you want me to edge you all night, will you, baby?"

Your hands scrambled to open his belt and jeans in an embarrassingly fast tempo. As you pulled his pants and underwear down, you were surprised to see that he was already fully hard. You would have never thought that your little talk had already turned him on so much.

You grabbed his length eagerly and looking up at him through hooded eyes you started slowly licking along the tip. Seonghwa's eyes fluttered in response and his hand weaved into your hair, to get a firm grip on your head.

"If I were you I wouldn't tease me that much," he grunted out as you continued your kitten licks on his tip. The dark glow in his eyes made your heart race and you quickly took him fully into your mouth.

Seonghwa was rather long and you couldn't fit him into you completely without choking. You did your best to take him as deep as you could but you already felt him hit the back of your throat.

"Am I too big for my small little girl?" he asked tauntingly, pushing you onto him just a tiny bit deeper, making your eyes roll to the back of your head. You never knew you would enjoy the feeling of his cock pressing down your throat so much. But maybe it was just the general idea of him using you like he pleased that turned you on so much that your panties were already soaking.

Holding tightly onto your hair, he started fucking himself into your mouth. Seonghwa started off slowly but as you met his thrusts eagerly he sped up his tempo quickly. Soon your eyes fell shut as choked moans reverberated through your throat along his cock. Both your hands grabbed onto his thighs for some kind of hold.

Your whiny noises and the eagerness which with you sucked his dick surprised Seonghwa. He never expected you to be so into it, but as he watched you fall apart on his cock without even getting pleasured yourself, he soon started throbbing in your mouth with an impending orgasm.

Tugging firmly on your hair, he removed your lips from his cock and watched a line of spit trail down your chin as you opened your eyes. The fucked out look on your face almost made him paint your face in cum but he managed to hold back as he bend down to your face and shared a messy kiss with you.

"Didn't know you were such a hungry little slut," he said with glinting eyes before pulling you up from your knees.

You almost stumbled into his arms, your legs not quiet awake from being in the same position for too long. Seonghwa's strong arms caught you and pressed your body to his own for a short moment. The warmth of the embrace made you smile. His grasp held an intimacy that let your heart flutter in almost unbearably strong affection.

"Now you better hurry onto the bed before I ruin you on the carpet right here," Seonghwa rasped into your ear before shoving you off of him once again.

The strong command once again made electricity surge through your body and you hurried to the bedroom. As soon as you sat yourself on the bed and faced back towards Seonghwa he was already in front of you. His pupils blown wide in a state of desire that you had never seen him in before. He grabbed your face harshly between both his hands and shared a deep kiss with you as he hovered above you.

Your hands wound into his raven locks in response, sharing breathless moans as your tongues clashed with one another. One of Seonghwa's hands wandered down to the hem of your shirt and reading his thoughts you interrupted the kiss for him to quickly dispose of your shirt. Left only in a lace bralette and your tiny shorts Seonghwa devoured the sight of you.

"You were right, doll. You do look like such a innocent, fragile little thing to me." His eyes now landed on yours again. "That makes me want to ruin you even more."

He roughly pushed you down onto the bed before crawling over you. As he buried his lips in your neck you could feel his throbbing cock rubbing against your thigh, making you whimper under his touch. All you wanted was for him to touch you but Seonghwa had his own plans with you.

Sucking harshly on your skin he started leaving marks all over your neck. "You like that? Want me to mark you all over?" he asked in between two hickies.

"Yes, please Seonghwa. Make me yours."

Your enthusiasm only spurred him on. His hands started squeezing your breast now, playing with your nipples through the thin fabric covering them. You couldn't help arching your back and trying to rub yourself on his thigh to get some kind of friction where you most wanted it.

In an instant, Seonghwa's hands rushed down to your hips, pinning them against the bed. "Did I allow you to do that, doll? I thought you wanted me to have my way with you?" His eyes were down right intimidating as he looked at you beneath him.

"I'm sorry, Seonghwa. I'll do anything you want."

A small chuckle left him at your desperate response. He had you exactly where he wanted you.

"Strip," was all he said then and within a heartbeat you started removing your shorts and panties, followed by your bra. In the meantime Seonghwa also rid himself of his shirt, leaving you both naked.

He scooted down on the bed, slowly spreading your legs so he could lower his upper body in between your thighs. Looking up at you through his predator-like eyes, he made a show of dragging his fingers slowly over the skin of your inner thighs. When he started placing delicate kisses all around where you needed him the most you started shaking beneath him.

"Please, Seonghwa. Please just touch me."

"Want me here?" he asked tauntingly, starting to gently rub your clit with his middle finger.

"Fuck, yes!" The tiny amount of pleasure already had your lashes fluttering.

"But you want more right? Want me to destroy my little girl and have my way with her?"

You nodded frantically, not being able to bring out anything but whimpers beneath Seonghwa's grasp.

"Well don't make me stop now since you wanted this," Seonghwa said before burying his tongue between your legs.

You really never lied to him when you told him he was insanely good at eating you out. As his tongue circled around your clit, two of his fingers buried themself in your cunt and you closed your eyes in pure pleasure as he started pumping them in and out of you.

Usually he would work you up gently with only one, but after your confessions from today he was way rougher with you now. As a result you felt yourself being thrown towards the edge much faster. Your pleasure already starting to build up as his pace only quickened.

"I'm gonna cum," you warned him through heavy breaths.

But either Seonghwa was too lost between your legs or he didn't care because he just kept on lapping at your core when your high finally crashed down over you. You moaned out shamelessly and as your hips started trembling, Seonghwa pinned them down firmly with his arm.

"Please," you pleaded at him to give you a break but he didn't show any mercy to you.

"I'll make you come as often as I want," he spits at you as his thumb takes over his tongue in pleasuring your sensitive clit. "This is what you asked for, baby."

A mad smile spread on his face that let shivers run over your entire body before he lowered his mouth done again and buried his tongue inside of you. You had to close your eyes from the overwhelming pleasure. All of a sudden, the overstimulation was taken over by lust again and you reeled towards another orgasm faster than you had ever done before.

"Fuck," you moaned before a few more firm circles of Seonghwa's thumb pushed you over the edge again. This time you didn't tremble but went full on limp beneath him. Your ears were ringing as the intense feeling rushed through your body. Faintly, you notice Seonghwa finally detaching from your core.

"Look at you all messed up and I haven't even fucked you yet," he snickered as he crawled on top of you. Seonghwa let his fingers graze over your cheek, taking in the beauty of your fucked out expression.

"You still feeling good?" he asked then in a slightly softer tone. But as soon as you mumbled a weak "yes" he was back to his demon self.

"I'll make you feel even better then," he said before slowly burying his hard cock inside of you.

At this point you were dripping wet but you still gasped at his size and the feeling of him finally filling you up. "Please, fuck me, Hwa!" you managed to beg him through big doe eyes and fluttering lashes.

Seonghwa moaned in return before starting to pound into you in a steady rhythm. He didn't go too fast but every single thrust hit you deep inside and soon you found yourself clinging onto his arms, as your life depended on it while he rearranged your insides.

Never had you ever imagined that asking Seonghwa to be rougher with you would give you this amount of pleasure. He was everything you had ever wanted and more.

As his pace increased you felt your head starting to swim more and more. Any coherent thought was lost to the way his hips snapped into you and his heavy breaths played like music in your ears.

"I love you, Hwa," you suddenly confessed through high pitch moans. You told him that quite often, but with the way you were buried beneath him, completely at his mercy, the words stirred something inside Seonghwa.

"Fuck, baby. Me too." His thrusts turned sloppy for a few seconds before he recovered a little. "You look so fucking perfect like this. I won't ever hold back on ruining you again, I promise."

You simply whimpered in response, unable to form a coherent sentence. Seonghwa lowered himself down to catch your lips in a desperate kiss while keeping up with his thrusts. Both of you were breathing heavy, but you still clung to each others touch as if your life depended on it.

"I'm close," Seonghwa moaned into your mouth between open-mouthed kisses. As his release neared, his eyes turned softer and he caressed your cheek with his thumb adoringly.

"Please come inside me," you pleaded him.

His eyes fluttered at your request. "Anything you want, baby."

And with that Seonghwa stilled deep inside you, groaning as his cum spurted into you. As soon as his cock started twitching you came one more time. This time it felt warm and comforting as Seonghwa held you so tightly and stayed deep within you until you stopped trembling. You wanted to stay like this forever: him buried deep beneath you and nothing on your mind but pure bliss.

When you finally recovered a little, you caught his lips again for a few more lazy kisses. "You were fucking amazing, angel," you praised him in between kisses.

"All this and you still call me angel?" he joked but you knew he didn't mind. His eyes only held love and adoration as he stared down into yours.

Slowly, he pulled out of you and laid down beside you before pulling you into his chest to rest. "I really wish you had told me earlier. We missed out on a lot."

"I don't mind catching up," you answered with a chuckle.

I wrote this over a long time span so I'm not too happy with it but I hope you still enjoy!

[russellsppttemplates]

I never knew anybody 'til I knew you (Lando Norris)

Your new job is allowing you to have new experiences, and your heart is not too mad about it either

Note: english is not my first language. After a long time in the books, I'm finally writing for Lando! This is my first long piece and I hope I did well enough!

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: curse words, mentions alcohol consumption

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

"I'm just saying, it's closer that way. We can go and get the packages ourselves and sort out any issues with them straight away", Lando reasoned, opening his text message app so he could continue what he wanted to do. "Okay, fine by me. He's got a point, Y/N", Max raised his hands in surrender, looking at you for your opinion.

Working for Quadrant hadn't been a goal you had set out to accomplish in the strict sense of it. You didn't see yourself working for a massive company where people were stuffed in offices where the only way they could know their colleagues' names was when they had online meetings that took far too long and discussed the baseline of the issues. So, when you saw the job offer for someone in the Graphic Design area of work, you looked up the company name and saw their work, fascinated with how the guys had grown this business from streaming online gaming. Later, as you progressed in the recruitment process, you came to learn that Lando and Max also had a more public presence than you had initially figured out, despite all of your friends' insistence that "you can't be that clueless, Y/N, how did you not know that Quadrant was Lando Norris'? I thought you applied because of that", they would say as you shrugged your shoulders, "in this economy, do you think I am that picky about a job? I have my preferences, sure, but I know what I'm worth and I saw the offer was actually quite okay!", you defended yourself.

You ended up getting the spot and, so far, you couldn't complain. Most of the time you worked with Callum, Max and Tara, since your work overlapped with theirs, and every now and again, like right now, Lando would also meet up with you.

"Are you sure it's fine if I go? Your parents know Max, but they haven't met me before. Are you sure they won't find it weird?", you spoke directly to Lando, thinking that his idea, as lovely and kind as it was, didn't account for the facts you were stating.

"Max is coming because he's from the team, and you're from the team, too, so you're coming with us as well", Lando said simply, not seeing the problem.

"But he's been your friend for so long now, I'm a Quadrant Team member", you attempted again, "they don't have to provide for and give a roof to a stranger, I'll find an hotel to spend the night", you offered, wanting to be clear about it.

"You're part of the team, too! Don't worry about that, okay?", Lando said, "besides, mum loves having a full house, she's definitely the host of the family", he smiled, checking the item on his list nd carrying on the meeting.

"When we're there, we'll be able to get our hands on the embroidered Originals collection", Max began, "hopefully they're perfect and we can start working on the website", he gestured as you turned your laptop so they both could see, "this is the concept I've come up with, since this isn't as flashy or as colourful as past collections", you showed them the mood board, looking for disapproval signs but being met with looks of surprise instead, "I know it's not usually what you go for, so I also have another idea here, if you just let m-", you were about to change when Lando slapped your hand away from the mouse and holding it in his, "I really like this one, especially these posts here, I think the ideas are great!", he noted as he set your hand down on the table, "okay, then I can keep working on this", you said, closing the other tab, "do you have something better than this?", Max asked, "seems as good to me!", he offered.

"This is just a draft, I'll invest more time in this and I'll have it ready for the end of the week. That way we can have it ready when the clothes arrive. I'll text Tara to ler her know", you smiled, grabbing your phone as the boys flickered through the ideas, pointing out the different details they liked and wanted to keep.

.

"I'm way too young for my life to be just this, so please drive safely, Max", you said, buckling your seatbelt and exaggerating your hold on the door handle, "if you weren't such a crucial part of this team, I'd make you reconsider your jokes", he teased back, reversing out of the parking space and initiating the trip.

Lando was already at his parents' house since they had a family gathering the day before, so you and Max were driving up to meet him, "they're really nice people, really chilled as well", Max began, "Adam and Cisca, that is. I can hear you thinking and I'm assuming that is what's going on in your head", he stated.

"I don't want to step on anyone's toes, and I don't want to embarrass anyone or myself even. Can you imagine Lando's parents finding out their son's company has questionable employees? They'll mark me off as some sort of strategy fool or think that I want to take this company down, and I don't!", you uttered out, sharing more than you meant to.

Impostor's Syndrome was a bitch, and it often showed up the moment things got progressively harder, and while you knew you were able to deal with it, the little voice still nagged you.

"Y/N, you're one of the most valuable people we have on the team, and I don't say that lightly. This is Lando's baby, and yes, he's the face of it and that counts for most of it, but the work behind it is just as important and with the numbers we're having, it all comes down to you. Since you joined us the designing aspect of it, - obviously, you wouldn't be the one responsible for accounting, duh -, the compliments have been non stop, it has improved the interactions, too!", he said honestly, "you have nothing to worry about, truly", he comforted, "it's this exit here", he mumbled, checking the GPS and turning on the blinker, slowing down the car as they entered the city.

You didn't have to wait long before he pulled up to a big house, the gravel sound quieting down until it came to a halt when Max stopped the car, "Lando said he'd meet us at the door, I really don't fancy being mistaken by a burglar", he joked, getting out of the car as you did the same, stretching your legs and taking in the sight.

"Max, Y/N! Did you have a good trip?", Lando made himself be heard and seen, walking up to you and grabbing the bags his friend was taking out of the car boot, "I'll take these", he offered, picking up your luggage as you pulled on your backpack, "thanks", you smiled, following him as he led the way into his parents' house.

"My parents are in the kitchen", the Formula One driver said, ushering you to the roomy space after he and Max dropped the bags by the stairs, "Max, dear! We haven't seen you in so long, how are you?", a beautiful woman said. Her hair was brown and her skin was tanned as she hugged Max and Lando, "this is Y/N, she is our graphic designer", he presented you, the older man hugging you and his wife doing the same, "I'm Adam, it's so nice to finally meet you", he smiled warmly, "likewise", you smiled back.

"You can call me Cisca, darling. We've heard so much about you, it's nice to finally put a face to the name", she winked at you as you didn't miss Lando elbowing his mother as he closed his eyes, sighing at her, "thank you for having me over, I hope it's not too much trouble", you thanked again, feeling more at ease at their genuine welcoming greetings.

Lando quickly scrambled an answer, seemingly not wanting his parents to talk, "of course it's fine, no trouble here! Let's get your things upstairs so we can settle in and work!", he clapped his hands, walking to the corridor and up the stairs with Max as you excused yourself.

"This is your room, you have the bathroom on the next door", he pointed on the corridor after he placed your bag and backpack down in the small sofa, "Max is in the office, it's just across the hall and I'm at the end of the hall, if you need anything", Lando offered.

"Thanks, again. Do you guys want to begin now? I just need to put on some fluffy socks and I'm good to go", you said, "yes! Is the dining room okay with your parents? The table is big enough to layout everyhting", Max chirped in, whistling at your room as he looked around, "she got an upgrade, good move!", he tapped his friend's back.

After Lando cleared it with his parents, he was quick to remove the table runner and flower vase from the dining room table, extending it to its biggest size so you had all the space you needed, "you can sit here, Y/N, it's usually where the room heats up faster", he pointed out the radiator, pulling up the chair next to your and typing on his iPad.

"So this is the video idea? I like it, we just need to find some background music for it", Max asserted, grabbing his phone to check the time, "we should get going to pick up the order", he uttered.

"Do you need all of us to go?", you asked, saying the changes in your laptop as you did,

"You can pull your the backseats of your car down, can't you, Max? That way we can bring more boxes, and you and me go", Lando reasoned, looking over at you, "do you mind staying here while we go get them?", he asked, not wanting you to feel uncomfortable.

"I'll be fine, you go", you smiled, opening your notebook and writing down some notes.

"Oh, darling, you could've turned the lights on. Soon enough you'll be like me and need glasses", Cisca said as she stood on by the door, flickering the lights on as your eyes got used to the brightness, "I already wear them, or I should more often anyway", you blushed, suddenly getting caught with your hand in the cookie jar, grabbing your case from your backpack and putting them on.

When Lando and Max left, you decided to work on the website graphics, checking how the campaign would work with the current layout, that you lost track of time.

"May I see what you're working on?", she asked, "it's okay if I may not, I don't want to intrude", she smiled as you pulled up the chair next to you, "I don't know much about these things, but I always get quite fascinated with this part", she said, sitting down and looking at the screen.

Already driving back home, Lando and Max talked about the plans once they arrived, "and that way Y/N can also finish the social media stuff, and maybe you'll have more time to actually make a move on her", he teased.

Lando scoffed, "I'm not trying to make a move on her", he defended himself, "I'm glad to know, because if those moves were what you had, it wouldn't surprise it that it didn't go very far", Max yelped as his friend took the opportunity of the straight road ahead to hit his thigh, "so that's what you talk about? Here I am thinking about business and you're meddling in my love life?".

"I never said it was love life, but since you've admitted it, it's saving me time. So, what are you planning? I could help since this seems to be stalled", Max tried again, holding his hands in protection of his body in case Lando hit him again.

"I wouldn't know where to begin, I mean, it will make things awkward if this goes south, right? I'd never be able to look at her again, much less work with her", Lando admitted, "She's very kept to herself as well, I highly doubt that she'll want to be involved with me in that way. Whoever I date or interact with has to deal with enormous amount of public eye and I wouldn't spring that up on her", Lando mumbled, taking the road exit on his left.

"So you've given this some thought, too. Here we are thinking you're coming to the meetings to help and now you're just blushing when we talk about Y/N", Max joked back as Lando shook his head.

"We're back!", Lando announced, walking inside the dining room while pushing the boxes with Max, "don't worry, mum, we're not scratching the floors", he said, sweetly kissing the side of her head, "are you planning to work for us?", he noticed she was sitting next to you, notebooks of the projects open and sheets and fabrics all over the table in front of you.

"Y/N was kindly showing me the project you're working on, for the launch, and it looks really nice!", she complimented, placing a hand on your shoulder and the other on your arm, "she's been showing me everything, I've probably stolen some valuable time from you, darling, I'm sorry", she slumped her shoulders slightly, "not at all, it's all under way, don't worry", you smiled, easing her worries, "I'll leave you guys to it, how about I make some tea?", she suggest as the three of you nodded.

"We have the boxes here, they're sorted by colours", Lando opened the first box, "these are only for the Originals collection, right?", you checked over, peaking at the blue hoodie he pulled out.

"The sizing is right, right?", Max wondered as Lando stretched it out, "Y/N, can you try these, please? We need to check if the model is good for guys and girls".

Getting up from your spot, you grabbed the vibrant blue piece, feeling its soft texture against your fingertips, "I have wider hips that average, I'm not sure I'm the greatest test model for that", you shrugged your shoulders, "keep that in mind". Taking off your sweater so your torso was covered in a strappy top, you pulled the new garment on, adjusting the strings around the neck so you could pull it all the way down, "Oh, it's so soft", you noticed, "and warm, too. And feels quite good actually, it's not too tight", fumbling with the ribbed material on the bottom as you checked yourself out on the windows now that it was dark outside.

Lando gulped as you did so. Oh, had Lando noticed your hips. To anyone else, it would be another feature of your body, but he was enamoured by them. Your body's curvy outline enticed him and he would be lying if he said that it wasn't the first thing he noticed at first glance when you arrived for you last interview, especially with the tapered pants you had been wearing.

"Looks nice. What do you think, mate?", Max turned to Lando, hoping to get an answer but finding him looking at you, "is there something wrong? I told you I'm not the best mo-".

"It's gorgeous, looks gorgeous", he breathed out just as his mother walked inside carrying a tray with tea and some biscuits, "Here's the tea, guys", she said, setting it on the table, "wow, that's a very nice piece!", she complimented.

"It is, isn't it, Cisca?", Max said, covering up her son as he kept looking at you as you tested the front pocket, not noticing his gaze on you.

"You also have a very beautiful model, you can't ignore that factor in the equation", she complimented you while you grabbed a mug, taking a sip of the warm liquid and hoping it hid your pink cheeks, "thank you", you whispered.

While Lando helped his father with dinner, Max convinced his mother to show you both family albums, and once you had the delicious food they prepared, you excused yourself so you could use the shower, wanting to wash the day of travelling away. Max and Cisca stayed in the living room while Lando helped his father prepare dessert, checking on the apple crumble in the oven so it could get golden brown and not burnt, "so, any life updates recently?", the older man asked.

Lando wasn't around as much as they both would've liked, so often times his visits also came along with news and updates, "not much, racing has been good, it's nice to have a break now, even if it's just two weeks", he offered, looking at the oven.

"And nothing else? I mean, no one special? Your mother is usually the blunt one, but I'm going to try it myself: Y/N is just a Quadrant Team Member?", Adam questioned, noticing his son's cheeks become redder.

"Is it that noticeable? I just hope she doesn't see it as much as you do", Lando groaned, rubbing his cheeks, "maybe you should hope she notices, you know? Maybe she'll admit she likes you, too. You never know", Adam patted his son's back, grabbing the gloves so he could take the tray out of the oven, "she seems like a really nice girl, kind, good work ethic, intelligent, and she's beautiful", he finished as his son sighed, grabbing the vanilla ice cream from the freezer, "she's all of that and so much more".

.

"Kygo is doing a set tonight", you heard Max say as you walked inside the living room, taking the spot on the sofa next to Lando since his mother had taken your previous spot when you went to use the bathroom, "I've been meaning to ask you guys if you wanted to go, actually. He texted me saying to tell him if we were planning on going", Lando stated.

"Go and enjoy being young, life is not all about work if you can't enjoy yourself", Cisca shared, "dad and I won't complain if you make noise when you get back", she winked.

"Would you like to go, Y/N? You can say no, that's fine, too", Lando turned to you. He knew Max would be down on a heartbeat, but he didn't want you to feel pressured to do something you didn't want to because you were at his parents' place as a guest.

"I'm good, I like his music, too. I've been wanting to see him live for a bit, actually", you smiled, thinking about how lucky you were to be able to have these experiences because of your job and friends.

Later that night, you're getting ready in your room, sitting on the carpeted floor and applying your make-up for the occasion. The dressier outfit you had brought with you consisted of a burnt red top and some pants as it had become the outfit you had felt the most comfortable and confident in to go out. The top complimented your chest and your midsection as your pants looked really good around your hips and butt, your legs elongated by the small heeled shoes you had spent years looking for. They were comfortable, pretty and functional, ticking all the boxes for what you needed for tonight.

"Y/N, can I come in?", your heard Lando knock on the door, welcoming himself when you said he could, "we are leaving in about ten minutes, if that's okay", he said, taking a good look at you as you fiddled with your earring, "yes, fine by me", you smiled looking back in the mirror propped on the bedside table and finally clasping it, looking back at him.

You took his breath away. It was as simple as that. Your hair had your natural curls he loved so much, your makeup complimented your naturally soft beautiful features and your outfit made you look incredible.

"You guys ready?", Max patted the door, propping himself on it as you grabbed your shoes, "I'll put them on downstairs", you said, carrying them in your right hand as you had your small purse on the left.

While you did the small, dainty tie on your shoes, Lando's eyes went straight for your chest, the slightly bent down position granting him an agonisingly teasing angle as he tried his best to look away, "you might want to be less obvious, you don't need to creep her out to get her to be yours", Max whispered in Lando's ear.

As soon as you arrived, Lando and Max walked with you to the VIP area, asking you what you wanted to drink before they went up to get it.

Lando looked great on his white shirt, the light coloured shirt looking great against his tanned skin as the relaxed fit complimented his back, prompting you to make sure you weren't drooling in public. You worked for his company, it would never be a good idea to get romantically involved with him, no matter how many times your heart leaped.

"A very weak Gin and Tonic for you, as requested", Max said as he pushed the cup towards you, carrying nother drink for himself, Lando sitting next to you on the booth and empty handed, "you're not drinking?", you asked, "I'm driving us all home today, I'm want to do it safely", he stated, tapping his hands on the table when he saw Kygo, signalling him to approach you.

"Hey Lando, Max", he smiled, "I'm Y/N, I work for Quadrant", you smiled, greeting him with a half hug as he introduced himself too, "my set is in a few minutes, you got here just in time. If you want to see it up close, Y/N, let me know and I'll make it happen", he winked at you.

The wink was not missed by Lando or Max. While Max wanted to laugh at his friend's jealous expression, threatening to send the norwegian DJ to a place that was less than nice and sunny, Lando couldn't believe his eyes. Yes, it was only fair that others, too, saw your beauty and noticed you, but to put themselves out like that, that was a different story. You didn't seem to bothered by all of it, sipping on your drink as you spoke to Max, pointing out different people you remember from Silverstone earlier that year.

"Kygo's starting, I want to dance!", you said, getting up and gesturing for the boys to join you. While you were used to having a lot less space to dance in, the welcomed freedom was appreciated as you playfully placed your pointer finger on Max's head, making him do a little spin, "now, no need to be jealous, Lando, you can twirl, too!", you yelled over the music blasting from the speakers, doing the same and sinking your finger on Lando's curls.

"I'm going to get another drink, want anything?", Max asked, excusing himself when you shook your head, "you know you can drink, I'm the designated driver", Lando offered, "I know, thank you for that. I just don't want to drink more", you smiled, recognising the next song, feeling brave and pulling Lando by his hand so he could dance with you.

I never knew anybody 'til I knew you

I never knew anybody 'til I knew you

And I know when it rains, oh, it pours

And I know I was born to be yours

Lando twirled you would face him, chest flush against his as his colourful eyes looked into yours intensely, "I know this is very forward, and very unlike me to be fair, but I need to get it out", he gulped as he spoke loudly in your ear, looking for any sign of discomfort from you, "I really like you, like, a lot. And I would like to know if you feel the same. Because Max and my parents seem to think you do, but all I know they're just saying so that I shut up about how much I love you and how much it would mean to me", he spoke loudly against your ear as the song played.

You were struck by his confession, not expecting it to ever happen, much less like this and in these circumstances.

"If you consider this a hostile work environment, I didn't want that, but I had to be honest with you", he gulped, "just say you don't feel the same and I'll drop the subject, okay? I might have to pretend to go somewhere else so I can be away from you a bit until things are not awkward, but don't worry, I won't drink because I'm driving and-", Lando belted out before you interrupted him, moving your face closer to his neck this time and speaking into his ear, "It's not hostile if it's consensual, right?", you smiled, a glint in your eye as his own widened, chuckling as he sang the the words in your ear, taking the opportunity to kiss your cheek near your earlobe.

"Took you two fucking long enough!", Max yelled as he approached you, tapping Lando's back in congratulations, "you know what this means, Y/N? I won't have to listen to him mope about how he thinks he was made for you and you were made for him, and that the universe would have to be playing a very bad joke of you two didn't end up together!".

"What makes you think I'll stop that? I just got the girl of my dreams, now I'll have the confirmations of all I've said! You'll just hear how amazing all of it is!", Lando smiled, hugging you close to him and kissing the top of your head.

[midnightbluebells03]

Hello! I was curious if you could do a dom!Abby x chubby reader, maybe some smut where the reader starts feeling bad about her body so Abby "shows" her how pretty she is *wink* *wink*

It's fine if you reject my request remember to drink water and have a good day/night :)

THROUGH HER EYES

CW - fingering (R receiving), oral (R receiving), negative self talk

WC - about 1k

Reader is described as fem and chubby, I based this off of myself a little as a plus sized girlie

No outbreak

Thank you for the request darling! And thank yall for over 100 followers 🖤

Leave me any requests in my asks xo

It all happened so fast.

Only fifteen minutes ago you were standing infront of the mirror looking at yourself in the new dress Abby had bought you. The one you had been looking at online for weeks but never hit buy. Because the truth was you didn't think it would look good on you. The model in the picture was tall, skinny, flawless. A stark contrast to how you saw yourself.

Your hands ran over you body as you took in how the fabric clung to you. How you could see the outline of your stomach, the cellulite on your thighs and the way your arms looked in the thin straps. It felt like you couldn't stop. Your mind relentlessly picking apart every bit of your appearance until there was tears forming in your eyes. It wasn't jsut the dress, you pinched at your round cheeks, fussed with your hair, you even thought about taking off your makeup.

Abby had been watching you silently in the doorframe of the ensuite bathroom. Her eyebrows furrowed and arms crossed tight across her chest. You two were supposed to be meeting her friends in half an hour but instead she shot them a text, saying you guys were going to be a little late. Before she pushed you onto the bed and dropped between your legs.

"Abby we don't have time-" your protest was met with two fingers slipping past your lips. You gasp for a second but hum softly before starting to suck. Earing a smirk from the girl below you.

"They can wait" Abby pulls her fingers out slowly, you try to chase them and earn a small chuckle from her. "You look so good I just have to" the feeling of her hand running up your inner thigh makes you need to bite your lip.

"I'm actually gonna change" you admit, glancing over to the closet, a slight frown on your lips. With a soft sigh you start to explain, not making eye contact with Abby as you do. "The dress is lovely baby, thank you I just think I'd look better in jeans or something"

"No" Her voice is stern, that same tone she uses when telling you to behave. But her hands are as soft as ever. Gently moving up further until she's brushing her fingers across your panties. Making you gasp. "No baby you're gonna wear this, you're also gonna look into that mirror" her other hand grasps your jaw gently, forcing you to meet your own eyes in the reflection. "While I show you how pretty you are okay?"

Despite the part of you that wanted to say no, that wanted to give in to the insecurity and self hate. You swallow hard, giving her a breathy. "Okay" as you watch her bunch the dress up your hips.

"You stop looking I stop" her hands pause on the waistband of your panties. Waiting for your nod before pulling them down. "Good girl"

That's how you ended up here. With your fingers tangled in Abby's once slicked back braid while her tounge works calculated circles around your clit. Your eyes fixated on yourself in the mirror. A twinge of embrassment in your chest that was being drowned out by the pleasure. The way her hands are so tight on your thighs that your almost sure it'll leave finger shaped bruises was enough along to make you wet. But paired with the soft moans she's letting out against your dripping pussy you couldn't help but try to grind into her face.

You tip your head down to watch Abby for a second, desperate to see your pretty girl. Starting to feel yourself getting close to the edge. But always the observer Abby is quick to notice, pulling back fully. Despite your moans and desperate attempt to keep her head where you needed her.

"I told you baby"

"Abby-" you plead, only cut off by her lips pressing to yours in a quick kiss.

"Shh" you watch as she gets onto the bed, positioning herself behind you. "Just moving a little, don't panic" She brushes the hair out of your face, pressing kisses to your shoulder as she gets comfortable. Her hand moves past your stomach until she reaches your clit. Making you moan softly as she slowly traces circles around your sensitive bud. "Now look" her free hand grabs your jaw, keeping you looking in the mirror. You can't help but focus on how her steel blue eyes stay glued to your body. Looking over you like you're her prized posession. "There's my pretty girl"

Her fingers slowly dip down to your hole as you lean backwards. Positioning yourself further into her chest as she slips in. Two thick fingers stretching you out as your eyes roll back for a second. "Fuck" you quickly fix your gaze, looking at your own flushed face as Abby slowly moves in and out of you. Her other hand trailing down to massage your breasts through the fabric of your dress.

"Taking my fingers so fucking well" she bites down on your lobe gently, making you moan as her lips continue down your neck. Only stopping to mutter into your skin. "Always perfect for me aren't you baby?"

"Mhm" you try to reply through your pathetic moans. Watching yourself as Abby works you closer to the edge. Fingers curled up just the right amount to hit your g-spot. Your legs start to shake as you clentch around her hard. Using all your focus to keep looking in the mirror so she doesn't stop.

"Good girl, cmon baby cum all over my fucking hand" Abby groans into your ear, her movements not pausing as you cum. Your moans echoing through the room as you slump into her fully. Breathing heavily as your eyes finally break from the mirror, looking up to the ceiling. Abby presses a soft kiss to your head. "Cmon baby let's get you cleaned up". You shuffle forward and let her get off the bed. Listening to her walk to the bathroom, the tap running as she holds a cloth under it.

"Abby?" You call out softly, waiting for her to come back between your legs. Gently wiping you up.

"Yeah baby?"

"You should wear your hair down" you prop yourself up onto your elbows. Tilting your head towards her. "Your braids all fucked up and I think Manny will kill us of we're any later"

She chuckles before throwing the cloth onto your nightstand. Planning to deal with it later and starting to unravel her braid. Dirty blonde hair falling in soft waves. You sit up, pulling on your panties before fixing your dress. Looking yourself over on the mirror, expect this time you can't help but smile.

"Yknow this dress is cute"

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for telling someone i can't be friends with them and returning a gift?

buckle up gamers, this is gonna be a long one. so i (22nb but i present fem) was out at the bars the other night just kinda hanging out, and a girl (26f) came up and started talking to me. she didnt really seem...super present i guess? and i talked to her to be nice and she had a cool outfit on. well i was a little drunk and ended up giving her my phone number and meeting her husband (39m) and they walked me home. the whole time she was talking about how she doesn't have any friends and her ex friends just wanted to get with her husband. she told me she was bi and i was like hey me too but im not interested in sex so that was cool. she ended up walking me home w her husband bc it was late which was nice, but they seemed really shocked i lived in such a nice apartment(i do, its expensive but my parents pay for it. im really privileged to be able to do that).

i saw her again today because she kept texting me about wanting to hang out, so i went for ice cream with her bc it was in a public place and i wasnt super comfortable going back to her apt with her. i paid for her ice cream bc she said her card wasnt working, nbd bc my parents have money and her and her husband aren't really well off. i said she could pay me back sometime, buy me ice cream or whatever another day, but she really fixated on it. she told me her husband thought i was cute which made me a little uncomfortable but i laughed it of, and then she kept talking about how she was bi and would date a girl and how she approached me not to date but to be a friend and then 'see where it goes.' she also told me she did porn online to make money which is fine w me, that she's on disability but that the money isnt really enough to live on, and that she'd been raped in the past and drugged which yanno a little overshare-y considering ive known her for three days but she really seemed like she needed someone to talk to and im good at listening. well her husband showed up out of nowhere bc he apparently tracks her phone and we all went back to their apartment bc i couldn't say no(im a doormat. i know) and she ended up giving me two pieces of jewelry in return for buying her ice cream which felt a little like overkill. i tried to refuse but she said she wouldn't ever wear them again so it would be fine. it was really kind of her but now i kind of feel i owe her back for them. the whole time i was there they seemed really eager to get me to move in nearby, and while its true that area is definitely cheaper my parents are really fine paying for my expensive apartment bc my tuition is a lot cheaper than my sibling's. she and her husband walked me home again, mentioning they might be going on a cruise in november if they could save up the money and that they could bring a friend. i said id almost definitely have school which they seemed to accept. they kind of seemed to want to see my place, but i told them it was really messy(it is) i have anxiety around having people in my space(i do) and that maybe they could come up another day and i could make dinner, and she told me she didn't like people cooking for her bc she'd been drugged in the past and that i could go over to their apartment again instead.

my parents think theres some really big red flags going on and i should try to break this off sooner rather than later. i pretty much agree. im not gonna ghost her and they dont think i should either, but that i should somehow return the jewelry in a kind way and tell her i cant really be super close friends. my mom had the idea to draw myself wearing the jewelry and then say i still have a memory of it but to return it bc i cant accept such a nice gift which i could try to do.

to be clear i am shit at communication and setting boundaries, im very aware of that, and most of this can be solved by telling her hey i can't accept this gift and im really busy for school a lot and im sorry i cant be as much as a friend as you need. but i still kinda feel like tah for leading her on almost and then breaking it off like everyone else in her life. ive been under a lot of stress bc of school and my stepgrandmother passing and trying to take care of my grandfather so trying to be friends with someone that seems kind of high maintenance is not really tenable for me.

so, wibta if i tried to let her down gently?

What are these acronyms?

[milla-frenchy]

Fav Joel series

All of them are 18+ and nsfw

Please check for each fic all the warnings indicated by the author

Summaries are those written by the authors

Raider Joel @toxicanonymity

You think Joel is saving you from the bad guys, but he's claiming you for himself. You're his now, and he won't let you or his men forget it. How long until Stockholm syndrome sets in? Will his persona start to crack?

Slasher Joel @toxicanonymity

He's a tow truck driver and you're stranded. You're already DTF but end up fucking for your life when you offend him.

Night walks @toxicanonymity

Joel, an older neighbor you've been walking with late at night, asks you into his basement to sell him weed but not really. You can't stop fucking him after that.

Carnal @pascalsbby

You thought you had it all figured out before him. Animals. Tender, primal flesh. That’s what we are at the end of the day, no? Fucking, testing one another and then eating each other alive, heart first. Maybe the heart is the sweetest part of the body- or maybe it’s just the easiest to get to. You knew you wanted to be completely devoured by him. You wanted to fill the space between his teeth.

Dom!Joel @atticrissfinch

The wrong number that texts you ends up being a man much hotter than you’d ever expect…

⭐ Meet me in the back @atticrissfinch

When the gas station clerk refuses to sell you alcohol after a shitty day, you need to get creative

I know it when I see it @bageldaddy

It's the golden age of porn. sex and sin are the national pastime. Your career in adult films starts opposite a man who goes by the name texas.

I can be your pretty girl @walkintotheriveranddisappear

After your bodily insecurities stop you from exploring your sexuality, your dad's best friend offers to help you gain some confidence and help prepare you for experiences with men. as things progress with joel, you realize he's taking advantage of you, but that doesn't stop you from having a good time, too.

Online friends @walkintotheriveranddisappear

Hot single dilfs in your area want to chat, and you're more than willing to comply (anonymous sex chatting with joel)

Something wretched about this @covetyou

Your father has been medicating his long term illness for as long as you can remember, and he'd always been grateful to find medication suppliers even after the world went to shit. When he can't pay up, what lengths will you go to to protect your entire world?

Ravish @psychedelic-ink

Joel, only now starting to feel the impending sense of loneliness, decides to listen to Tommy and sign up on an online streaming service called Ravish.

Ghost of you @thetriumphantpanda

Grief is a strange thing. In the beginning it had been all-consuming. There wasn’t a moment of the day where you didn’t cry, didn’t ask yourself why it couldn’t have been you instead. And no-one ever explains the guilt you feel when it isn’t anymore. When it’s just a dull ache and you can finally breathe again, when you can start letting people get close to you again. People like Joel Miller. 

Trial & error @thetriumphantpanda

Tommy has always been the loyal and doting boyfriend, the literal man of your dreams. Ready to take things to the next step, you soon find that Tommy is unable to have children. A family is all you’ve ever wanted, and neither of you are going to let this get in your way. Enter Joel, dark and mysterious and willing to do anything for his little brother, including fucking his girlfriend to get her pregnant. That’s what brothers are for, right?

Come away with me @thetriumphantpanda

Four years have passed and you’ve managed to raise a beautiful baby boy into a sweet little boy. Four years of one night with Joel Miller and countless others with his brother. You’ve been trying for months now for your second baby and it’s proving much more difficult than first time around, so Joel has a plan. One week, alone, on the lake, with one goal - another baby.

A lover's pinch @hier--soir

A one-night stand with a charming texan turns into something much more thrilling when you discover he is your new college professor. joel miller is entirely off limits. but now that you’ve had a taste, will you be able to keep your hands to yourselves?

You summer dream @swiftispunk

Fresh on the heels of the worst breakup of your life, you find an unexpected kindred spirit in joel miller, who's agreed to tag along for seven days to a tropical resort with you and your parents.

Lost in the dark @iamasaddie

One time you decide to cheat on your boyfriend is, of course, the time his dad catches you. Once normal relationship turns into something new, and you are forced to face the fucked up reality of your life

Hard to be soft, tough to be tender @iamasaddie

Desperation was never a good advisor, and yours led to find yourself as a very special person among Joel Miller's birds. You'll have to see for yourself if you have what it takes to live up to the status, and in the meantime Joel will "train" you and take care of you. // Joel Miller is a pimp and you are at your all time low, that's it.

Feelings on fire @joelscruff

You're back from college for the summer, staying with your devout catholic parents in your childhood home while they order you around and try to keep authority over you. as an act of rebellion you ask your new neighbor mr. miller to teach you how to play guitar, but it turns out there's a lot more he wants to teach you.

With pleasured hands @magpiepills

You’re Tommy Miller’s girlfriend, you’re on vacation with him and Joel, Tommy likes it when you’ve got an audience, Joel prefers being an active participant

Bullet for you darlin' @kewwrites - Dead dove do not eat

Joel takes something a little more personal from you after you run out of things to trade

Sunshine @kewwrites - Dead dove do not eat

A look at the innocent relationship between Sunshine and Joel till one night something changes the course of their relationship forever. 'Loss and heartbreak often turn the best of us into our worst selves.'

⭐ latest series added (11/18/2023)

HUGE thank you to all the authors 🙏🙏🙏

Fics recs

[casualheizouenjoyers]

“wait, you’re not bitchless?”

genshin youtuber au - 5wirl reactions to each other having an s/o

5wirl: aether, venti, xiao, kazuha & heizou

Oce5n: reader (in cc version), barbara, mona, yelan & kokomi

(oce5n aren’t mentioned in every characters’ scenarios cause uhhhh i do what i want 😎)

i have been writing this since december, not worth the wait /j

aether

if you’re not a content creator/don’t previously know 5wirl

out of everyone, the rest of 5wirl aren’t surprised that aether has an s/o

honestly the first time you meet them all aether’s already been talking about you for weeks ahead but just didn’t want the guys to scare you off and he didn’t want to introduce you until he was sure you’re the one

and after months of long distance and a bit of traveling with him to film stuff for his channel he’s very confident you’re the one

i think he waits like a solid 5 months before introducing you officially

he introduces you to them by preparing a big meal at the 5wirl house and sitting down for an informal dinner, 100% introduces you to them before introducing you onto his channel as his s/o

it’s a bit intimidating since the rest of 5wirl is protective of aether but as soon as heizou gives his approval everyone fully relaxes

it’s like, they’re obviously polite and friendly because they don’t want to make aether upset or anything but xiao doesn’t make an effort to strike up conversation and heizou is asking just a bit too many questions

venti is just vibing though cause he’s got more confidence in aether’s ability to read people and make the right call, while kazuha is just striking up conversation about your travels with aether

they’re all texting under the table in a gc before heizou makes his verdict and after that xiao starts to make a little bit of an effort to appear nicer and be more friendly

you are definitely given hugs by venti when you leave while xiao gives you a handshake, heizou gives you a pat on the arm and kazuha lets you know you’re welcome anytime, and he also adds you to a gc

venti jokingly shouts at aether to give you a kiss goodbye, and aether just shyly gives you a peck on the cheek before you’re on your way home

and as you’re leaving the house you can definitely hear venti shout out loud “THEY’RE A KEEPER”

if you’re a content creator/previously know 5wirl

for the sake of this let’s say you’re a member of Oce5n and you’re the founder/leader

5wirl and Oce5n are pretty close considering you and aether met before forming said groups and have collaborated a lot

surprises no one that y’all are dating heizou saw that shit coming a mile away

so when you get invited over to the 5wirl house for dinner aether also invites the rest of Oce5n so it becomes a duo interrogation but more lighthearted

really they’re just all teaming up to grill y’all on the details of how y’all got together as and (jokingly) asking you and aether about your ‘intentions’ with one another

at the end of the night venti, xiao, kazuha & heizou gift you a cute little locket with a picture of you & aether as a congratulations for your relationship, it will make you tear up

venti calls dibs on being your flower boy

venti

if you’re not a content creator/don’t previously know 5wirl

the rest of 5wirl are (lovingly) surprised that venti is in a relationship he considers serious enough to formally introduce you to them instead of them just walking in on venti with some random person in his room

cause venti definitely does loads of casual relationships cause he’s just chilling, and honestly he thought you were going to be a casual few weeks thing before just staying friends but he does really love you

introduces you a bit after 3 months when you’re no longer in the honeymoon phase and he finds that he still adores you

he’d introduce you to everyone by just casually playing a group game via discord and would first introduce you as a friend and then after a few games/rounds (i imagine y’all are playing the online version of clue or some jackbox games) be like “oh yeah lol that’s my s/o we’ve been dating for like 3 months”

xiao just deadass is like “are you sure venti didn’t just hire you as an actor?”

everyone by that time is definitely more open cause your first interaction isn’t like bogged down by the seriousness of being venti’s really first serious s/o

heizou just making a separate gc and being like “i fucking knew it” he’s the least shocked what a king

aether actually has a normal reaction—

he’s just like “oh congratulations! you should come over sometime so we can meet in person” he’s the sweetest and later on asks for your number over discord to put you in a gc and asks what food you want him to cook

kazuha would be lowkey spacing out love him but venti is a gremlin and made this happen ad like 2 am and kazuha is multi-tasking and editing some stuff in the background so he’s like “wait what just happened” i love this man

but when he’s brought up to speed he’s pretty chill and says you should join them the next time they do a group stream if you’re comfortable with that

the rest of the night is pretty chill y’all play a few more games and you end up calling with venti until you fall asleep

if you’re a content creator/previously know 5wirl

there’s literally no surprise because venti forced the rest of 5wirl to be his wingmen, xiao is just happy y’all are FINALLY together

venti just texts the 5wirl gc like “guess who’s finally on a date” and sends a picture of you & him at a cozy cafe and then just turns off his phone what a lad—

doesn’t even check his texts on his way home so when he opens the door the rest of 5wirl is just there like 🧍🏻 WHAT THE FUCK

xiao just texts you like “how much money did he pay you” but he’s secretly really happy for venti because he knows you and knows you wouldn’t break venti’s heart

kazuha already knew that y’all were going on a date since he helped kokomi plan out a cute date and made sure venti was dressed well when he was going to “hang out with just a friend”

aether is super happy for you both and reaches out to barbara about organizing a little surprise congratulations event like a cute picnic of something we stan aether in this household <3

heizou already knows everything that happened on your date he managed to find out via the picture venti sent where y’all were at and teamed up with yelan to spy

Xiao

if you’re not a content creator/don’t previously know 5wirl

the MOST unexpected

xiao managed to not only talk to someone his friends didn’t know but also managed to date them how???

i’m sorry but this man won’t introduce you to 5wirl at all he’s an expert at keeping this a secret they only find out 7 months in when xiao invites you over when he thought everyone was out and heizou overhears someone calling xiao an affectionate nickname and xiao not giving any sign of protest like he does when venti purposefully annoys xiao by calling him his “beloved”

venti never lets xiao live this down, aether helps you hold xiao back from murdering venti and is just like “oh hey i’m aether by the way, how are you?”

kazuha just herds y’all into the living room and is just patiently waiting for xiao to say something

xiao just there like :| so you gotta say something or y’all will be in awkward silence for a long time

the minute you say anything like even just being like “oh hey my name’s [name] i’m xiao’s s/o” venti will just grab you by the shoulders and be like “DID HE KIDNAP YOU” lovingly of course, it’s his job to shit on xiao

eventually everyone will introduce themselves and xiao just grabs your hand and tries to drag you back to your room before aether suggests y’all watch some movies together

xiao volunteers you two to make the popcorn and brings you into the kitchen and lets you know if you just want to go back to his room and chill y’all can totally do that there’s no harm in not wanting to be part of a group interaction at the moment

if you decide to go back to xiao’s room the rest of 5wirl would bring up some snacks and knock on the door before just leaving them outside cause they do feel lowkey bad for overwhelming you

if you decide to make popcorn and join the movie night it’ll be chill, while 5wirl obviously care about xiao they know he’s the least likely to be ‘tricked’ into being in a relationship with someone who isn’t a good person especially considering how long you’ve been together

you’d be sitting in between xiao & aether while venti, heizou and kazuha sit on the floor in front of y’all

it’d be pretty casual, they’d let you choose the first movie and no matter what you choose venti will be like “you’ve got bad taste but you’re with xiao so i guess that checks out” and xiao would just kick him—

if you choose a mystery or horror movie with a mystery aspect like scream heizou will be spoiling all the twists im sorry this man is insufferable (we love him though)

by the time y’all are done watching movies it’s super late and kazuha suggests you stay over since it’s dangerous to go out when it’s super dark & late so aether pulls out some board games and y’all end up staying up all night and playing games with xiao holding your hand under the table and occasionally squeezing it

venti never lets xiao live down “going soft” rip venti he was a real one

if you’re a content creator/previously know 5wirl

yeah they’re still shocked 💀

no shade to our boy xiao but he’s never letting anyone know he’s got a crush on someone we stan a secretive king

heizou obviously knew cause…duh

but it’s okay cause he’s pretty

i feel like it’d come out during a stream with all of 5wirl plus you

and like xiao gets a dono being like “when are you and y/n finally going to date?” and xiao is super into the game (y’all are playing like fucking valorant idk) and isn’t paying attention to his response so he just says “y/n and i already are dating”

😨 = everybody’s face

there’s just like a beat of silence before venti just screams into his mic “WHAT?????”

rip headphone users

hope you’re ready to be trending on twitter.com bestie

heizou smirking at the camera like “i knew it”

anyways y’all obviously lose the round

venti jokingly challenges you to a 1v1 match for xiao’s hand and xiao just instantly being like “no 😐”

y’all just continue the stream without bringing it up because y’all stay on that gamer grind (i hate myself for typing that too don’t worry)

but after stream y’all stay on discord and chat for a while and they obviously give their congratulations to you guys <3333 (can you tell i’m running out of ideas 💀)

Kazuha

if you’re not a content creator/don’t previously know 5wirl

kazuha has W rizz no one is surprised honestly

i think kazuha is pretty good at keeping your relationship a secret but he only waits until you’re both ready to reveal your relationship

tbh i think he’d introduce you to each 5wirl member separately cause he knows his friends are clinically insane and doesn’t want to scare you away /j

but fr i think one of kazuha’s core values is living in harmony and he wants you to have an individual connection with each of his friends

i’m not writing it out but kazuha would definitely appreciate getting to meet your closest friends individually as well

he’d start with introducing you to bestie heizou for sure because in the youtube! au they’re super close to eachother considering they have their duo channel before joining 5wirl

it’d be super casual, he’d tell you both what’s going down before y’all meet so it’s not a shock to either of you

y’all become an iconic trio fr, i think kazuha would make y’all first meet each other doing an escape room and at the end kazuha soft launches you on his socials by posting a picture from the escape room with heizou doing a silly pose while your back is facing the camera cause you’re looking at a puzzle

then i think he’d introduce you to aether by inviting you both over to his to cook and eat lunch together cause aether is the best cook ever tbh (other than icon xiangling)

by this point venti definitely knows what’s up and pesters kazuha into meeting you next while xiao is just chilling

kazuha would invite you and venti to a karaoke room! venti is a more hyper person so a karaoke room would be the perfect place to get to know him. venti will force you to scream/sing “girlfriend” by avril lavigne with him prove me wrong

and of course you and kazuha would sing “love story” by taylor swift and kazuha would post a really shit quality video of you two that venti took on his story <3

last person you’d meet would be xiao and i think y’all would go to an interactive museum so there isn’t a lot of pressure to talk but rather just to vibe together. like when i was younger i went to this museum called “The Hall of Science” and it had so many interactive exhibits it was just so fun

headcannon that xiao is secretly an amazing photographer so he takes pictures of you and kazuha in a little garden area by the museum and kazuha uses those to officially launch you as his partner on social media <333

and to round it up he’d post a picnic vlog with you and 5wirl :D

if you’re a content creator/previously know 5wirl

i think y’all would host an aesthetic picnic with 5wirl & oce5n and tell both your friend groups at said aesthetic picnic you guys are dating <3

yelan, heizou and mona exchanging money cause they were betting on when y’all would finally announce it to everyone 💀

barbara, aether, xiao and kokomi having normal reactions we stan

venti just tackling the both of y’all to the ground and fake sobbing how happy he is (but ofc he’s genuinely happy for his besties <3)

it’d be a super casual thing because everyone kinda suspected it honestly because kazuha’s recent drunk poetry seems to describe someone suspiciously like you

Heizou

if you’re not a content creator/dont previously know 5wirl

you think you’re just going on a chill escape room date with heizou, 5wirl thinks they’re just going to film a chaotic escape room vlog per usual

you are all wrong and your beautiful amazing boyfriend locks you in a room with his friends and forces y’all to do an escape room together (only because he knows aether, kazuha & venti are super friendly and will obviously make sure you’re included and xiao at the very least can kinda read the vibes and guess you’re heizou’s s/o he was talking about on the way to the escape room)

heizou made the escape room and a lot of the hints are about him so y’all collaborate (and so heizou can prove that you do know him super well and he’s lowkey serious about you)

plus this gives all of you guys a bonding experience to look back on and laugh about

venti can and will try to make you flirt with heizou for clues 💀

just his cute little laugh when he responds <33

once xiao relaxes he just gives you a pat on the back and a nod to show he likes you

venti in the background like “xiao be a normal person challenge 🧍🏻”

so you get to experience the wonder that is xiao trying to murder venti, you’re officially in the squad now /lh

getting lunch afterwards with the rest of 5wirl and plotting revenge on heizou for putting y’all in the hardest fucking escape room ever

rip heizou he made a grave miscalculation (it’s okay because he’s pretty and i love him <3)

if you’re a content creator/previously know 5wirl

i think heizou would make a game out of it (again) but different

he’d create a whole ass scavenger hunt for his friends to locate him and his secret partner

bro is counting on kazuha and aether to hard carry the group /hj

he sees it as a win win, he gets to reveal you as his partner and enjoy a relaxing date while waiting for his friends to arrive

what do they win? uhhhh, who cares the win win is for you and heizou not them smh

but since he loves his friends he made the hunt end at your apartment where a movie night is waiting for them :D (cuddling heizou on the couch <3333)

[aliaology]

GET HIM BACK!

summary: reader wants to get her ex boyfriend, luke hughes, back in order to get her revenge.

pairings: luke hughes x ex!fem!reader

warnings: jealousy, arguments, mentions of sex

based on ‘get him back’ by olivia rodrigo

THIS IS NOT HOW LUKE HUGHES ACTS. this is just for the plot, i have no idea how he acts outside of hockey and media!

you met luke in the summer of 2021. he was at the michigan lake house, and you were visiting your friends house who lived just next door. the boy accidentally hit a volleyball over to your friends house and from there the two of you blossomed.

though, the relationship was quite toxic, causing you to leave him the next spring, just before you could meet his parents. the two of you argued over everything, him normally starting it.

“are you fucking serious, y/n?” luke groaned, throwing your phone on the bed. you looked confused. “what the fuck did i do?”

“i dont know— maybe snap my fucking brother twenty four-seven?” luke snapped. you rolled your eyes.

“we just send pics to keep a fucking streak going, luke, why is this such a big deal?” you groaned.

“because you’re talking to other guys, what if you’re cheating?”

you scoffed and crossed your arms, “so you don’t trust me?”

not to mention, he had a huge ego, thanks to being the number four pick of the 2021 nhl draft. along with the many, many girls who loved him online. would they love his personality? probably not.

maybe another part of his shitty personality was the wandering eye he had. the way his eyes would drift to look at another girls chest or ass, it was embarrassing.

but, he was fun. fun at parties, fun at sex, fun at it all, and so were his weird friends. you personally favored dylan duke and mark estapa, but no one would find that out.

he took you out to many parties, bars, clubs. and when he said something wrong in front of his friends, he’d buy you something like tickets for a small vacation.

but there are nights where you miss him, until you remember how he would hit on all of your best friends. do you love him or do you hate him? its… up and down.

but right now, you wanted him back. to get him back, to get revenge. he deserved to feel mad, sad and jealous, everything you felt the entire relationship. it should get him back.

so you started to write letters, but after you would just throw them in the trash. all you talked about in the letters was how much you missed his touch and kiss, and how making you laugh was a bonus.

then when you tried texting him, you didn’t have the balls to say anything because you knew how disappointed your friends would be.

he was toxic, and you were not the only girl. you remember the time where you decided to try communicating your feelings.

“baby, can we talk?” you asked, walking behind him, he sat on the couch, eyes fixated on his game.

“what?” he spoke, fingers ferociously clicking his controller.

“recently, the way you’ve been just doesn’t feel fair, luke. i’ve been putting my all into us and i dont get the same treatment back, it hurts.”

luke scoffed, “you’re trippin’ babe”

but maybe you could fix him? scratch that. maybe you could key his car? or break his heart? or punch him?

then again, you could fix him.. with the nice route. instead of breaking his heart, you stitch it right back up. or kiss him. or make him lunch.

how about you meet his mom? but instead of telling her how good he was, you tell her how much her son fucking sucks.

you did. you met up with her— on complete accident. according to her, luke had not told anyone you broke up with him. he made up a fake excuse saying your family needed you for the summer.

you almost laughed in her face.

you almost laughed after she stormed out of the cafe, learning how her you her son was a prick. and you definitely laughed when you got the text from jack telling you how much shit, luke got.

time to work on coach part two xx

[lambertdiary]

potential(? NSFW

ok so not sure if this needed a warning but what about Y/N casually meeting Dalton's dad (josh) and she thinks he's hot 😭

sorry if this is weird you don't have to write it

This is actually kind of funny 😭 (also for this let’s pretend Chris and Dalton are still roommates and Y/N became friends with them after the whole thing happened)

So maybe Josh was visiting Dalton one day, they hadn’t seen each other as much so he thought it would be a good idea to drive to campus and have a nice father-and-son day in town.

They did a bunch of things and Josh was happy everything went back to normal between them, after the whole incident and not being that close. But things seemed to be working out just fine now.

Later that day Josh dropped him off, and he decided to walk him to his dorm to have a little more time to talk with him, knowing that as soon as he left Dalton would barely phone him or reply to his texts.

“Thanks for coming all the way here” Dalton said as he opened the door.

“Yeah, no problem. We had a fantastic time” Josh entered the dorm following Dalton.

Y/N and Chris immediately looked up. They were both lying on Chris’ bed watching dumb videos online, but as soon as Y/N saw them she sat up and quickly tried to fix her hair.

“Oh, uh- Dad, this is Y/N” Dalton walked towards his desk to put his belongings down “And you already know Chris”

“Hi, nice to meet you” Y/N said right away, offering her hand for a handshake.

“Hi, I’m Josh” He shook her hand and gave her a friendly smile, repeating the gesture once he turned to face Chris “Hi Chris”

“Good to see you again, father of Dalton”

“Please, call me Josh”

Dalton was paying attention to the look on his friends’ face, his eyes widening as soon as he realised “So I guess it’s getting latte” He hoped into the conversation “I wouldn’t want mum to get worried”

“Yeah” Josh replied looking at his watch “I’ll get going” He approached Dalton to give him one last hug, and he immediately hugged him back.

“Call me when you get home, yeah?”

“I will. Bye, see ya next time” Josh waved everyone goodbye and left the dorm. The three friends stared at the door for a moment, until all of the sudden Y/N decided to break the silence.

“Oh wow”

“See? I told you!” Chris exclaimed, a little too excited for Dalton’s liking. “Are you serious?”

“What?” Y/N asked, she definitely didn't think they were being that obvious.

“Guys, I’m right here”

“Don’t worry Dalton, it's not like we'll ever talk to your dad” Chris stood up and rested her hands on his shoulders “Unless, you know…”

“Stop” Dalton said, shaking his head and removing Chris’s hands.

“If anything you should take it as a compliment” Y/N followed Chris and stood next to her “I see where you got your good genetics”

Dalton blushed immediately, but they could never know that, so instead of acting shy he rolled his eyes at Y/N and fell on his bed, dramatically letting out a loud breath as he covered his face with a pillow “Please don’t talk about my dad”

"We don't" Y/N defended themselves.

"I'm pretty sure I heard Chris say 'I told you' or something like that"

"Fine, we'll stop" Y/N took the pillow and raised her pinky in front of him "We promise"

"Whatever" He said, rolling on his bed to face the wall.

Y/N and Chris looked at each other, mouthing ‘He was hot’ at the same time causing them to laugh. Dalton just rolled his eyes again and made a mental note to never bring his dad back to his dorm.

[iluv4my]

How to Protect Yourself from Toxic Individuals Who Gaslight You and Use Emotional Tactics

Today i want to talk about something that I've been thinking about a lot lately like understanding when someone is trying to control our emotions and how we can set boundaries to protect ourselves and we all face this in different ways like with friends, partners, or even people we meet online

I often face such people and today i will share whatever i have learned its not like im very professional but im sharing here what I have read and learned

Emotional manipulation is when someone tries to control or influence you using your emotions They might make you feel guilty, doubt yourself, or question your own feelings

So here are some examples like how emotional manipulation can look -

1. The Guilt tripping

This is when someone tries to make you feel bad for not doing what they want by saying things like

- If you really cared about me you would do what i want

- I don't want to stay with temporary people stop caring about me or just let me be like this

2. Gaslighting

This is when someone tries to make you doubt your own thoughts and memories by saying things like

- You're just imagining things i never said that

- Maybe you should just leave me i know you'll just find someone else as soon as you have the chance anyway

3. Playing the Victim

This is when someone tries to make you feel sorry for them even though they're the one causing the problem so they might say things like

I can't believe you're upset with me i'm the one who's been hurt

Okay fine focus on your life don't care about me just leave me alone don't give me this kind of advice give it to someone else

4. Shifting Blame

This is when someone tries to make you feel like the problem is your fault instead of theirs they might say things like

It's not my fault you're upset you're just too sensitive

You're just wasting time with me i'm just your texting partner

Emotional manipulators often feel insecure or powerless by controlling others they feel a sense of power and prop up their own self esteem they might have learned these tactics from their own upbringing too

Their Personality Traits

1. Narcissism

Emotional manipulators often act like they're better than others and always want people to praise them and they need a lot of attention and don't care much about how others feel they think they're more important than everyone else and often complain too much .

2. Insecurity

Even though they may seem confident, emotional manipulators actually feel unsure about themselves. Deep down they might have had tough experiences in the past that make them feel bad about themselves so they try to control others to feel better about themselves.

3. Need for Control

Emotional manipulators always want things to go their way. They try to control what others do and say to feel powerful and important and they use tricks like making others feel guilty or pretending to be the victim to control how people act around them.

Understanding these traits helps us recognize when someone might be trying to manipulate us and It's important to stand up for ourselves and not let them control u

Reasons for Manipulation

What Makes Them Pull the Strings?

There are several reasons why people turn to manipulation here are some of the big ones:

Power and Control:

Many manipulators feel a deep seated need for power and control in their lives they might feel insecure or powerless on their own so manipulating others gives them a sense of superiority and helps them feel better about themselves.

Self Gain:

It's all about "me" for some manipulators they might use emotional tactics to get what they want whether it's money, favors, or simply getting their way in an argument

Fear of Abandonment:

Some manipulators are terrified of being alone they might use emotional blackmail or guilt trips to keep people close even in unhealthy relationships

Low Self Esteem:

Despite their controlling ways some manipulators actually have very low self esteem they might manipulate others to get the validation and approval they crave

Learned Behavior:

Sometimes manipulation is a learned behavior they might have grown up in a household where manipulation was the norm and they adopted it as a way to cope with the world.

How To Protect Yourself From these Manipulator

Set Boundaries

Make it clear what you're okay with and what you're not stick to your limits and don't let manipulators push you around

Trust Your Instincts

If something doesn't feel right trust your gut feeling take steps to keep yourself safe from further manipulation.

Don't engage in arguments

They want to get a rise out of you walk away

Focus on yourself

Prioritize your own needs and well being

Responding to Manipulation

Stay Calm

Try not to get upset or angry when dealing with manipulative people stay calm and stand up for yourself firmly

Be Assertive

Clearly say how you feel and what you want without being mean or starting a fight

Limit Interaction

If manipulation keeps happening even after you've tried to stop it think about spending less time with that person to protect your mental health

End Note :

These people think that by behaving like this they can protect themselves they always want attention and love from everyone around them but they don't notice or thank others for what they do It's better to let them go without worrying too much about them if you think you can change them you're wrong they'll just resist your efforts and keep complaining instead of appreciating what others do they often find fault in small things its better to focus on yourself and not let their behavior bother you

[prolix-yuy]

A Bearable Weight

Pairing: Javi Gutierrez x F!Reader

Summary: New Years Eve is the holiday of new beginnings, and you take a leap to see if Javi might be one of them.

Word Count: 3k

Story Warnings: T, plenty of sweetness, more ridiculousness because I can't help myself, some lightly spicy kisses. While this story is not explicit, my blog and the content shared on it is 18+ so MINORS DNI.

Notes: I had to get these two to New Years. They were just too cute to leave hanging. I hope each and every one of you reading this waves goodbye to anything that made your 2022 difficult and enters 2023 with open arms and excitement. Now let's see where the new year takes Javi and Conejita!

Cross-posted on AO3

The restaurant is smaller than you thought it might be, unassuming in a strip of businesses. The sign for it is understated, white lettering on a black rectangle with a thin gold border - Aperitif. You’ve been studying the sign, and the door below it, for well over ten minutes, the chill night air creeping up your bare legs. The new dress you bought for the occasion - black, tasteful but a little sexy, an amount you’re comfortable with - weaves around your knees when a breeze makes you shiver. You look down at your heels again, still torn between whether the glittery gold is too loud for your personality or loving that they make you feel festive. Your hair is styled, your makeup is perfect, everything is ready for you to go inside.

And you’re still rooted on the damn spot.

Javi texted you a few times since the first voice message. Every new phone alert made your heart jump, evolving to a flutter when it actually was from him. He sent you photos of his friends’ Christmas tree, their dog plopping her head in his lap, the snow outside a fogged up window. He also asked you things about yourself, some that you expected and others that made you stop and smile. 

What food will you eat if you’re having a bad day?

Best movies adapted from books?

Did your sister like the message?

Your sister did indeed, and after catching you grinning at your phone several times throughout the long weekend finally made you confess how you got it. Her elation over the serendipitous meeting was only eclipsed by your hesitation over seeing Javi again.

“Are you serious right now? Cute, funny, probably loaded, a dork, sweet, and definitely into you? I will drive you there and drop your ass on the sidewalk if you don’t do it yourself.”

So you accepted the invitation, which was accompanied by a string of excited texts filled with details and one that made you tingle from head to toe.

Thank you for accepting. I hope you will consider what I asked you in my first message. But only if you’re comfortable. I really like talking to you, no matter what.

A beat, then…

If you’d like to be mine, this year.

You did. Holy hell, you did. But you were also a classically trained overthinker, and the days leading up to New Years Eve were spent Googling and riding the rollercoaster of excitement and dread. The Gutierrez family had an online presence, and not all of it was good. Luckily it seemed like Javi wasn’t in the crosshairs, but the more you learned the more convinced you became that this was going to be a shitshow. Wealthy, influential, a lover of the arts and gorgeous in every photo you find, your hopes got buried a little deeper with each word.

He told you it was going to be a party, nothing large, but the idea of being in your department store dress among the elite of society made you want to cancel. Go out for coffee instead. Let yourself down gently when you realize how different your worlds are.

But then you find a voicemail - a missed call from Javi:

“Hi conejita, I hope all the texts have not been too much. I realize that you barely know me, and I am maybe moving a little too fast. I get…ah, well, I get excited. You have made me very excited, and I want to be, you know, ‘cool’ about it, but I am not so great at that. Anyways, I am…hah, yeah, excited to see you tomorrow. It will be a lot of fun. And, um…we don’t…I only want what you want, conejita. So let’s just…see where the night takes us. I know what I feel, but I…I only want you to…to know…agh! I am messing this all up. Sorry, this message is so long now. I’ll see you tomorrow. I’m…I’m really happy to see you tomorrow. Okay, bye.”

What’s the harm, you thought after listening to the message three times. If it’s terrible you never have to see him again.

Another breeze ripples over your skin, finally making you move towards the door.

And if it’s amazing?

You smile to yourself and enter the warmth of the restaurant.

Aperitif looked small from the exterior, and the interior is about what you expected. It could maybe seat 30 fully booked, but the dining room has been cleared out in favor of buffet servers against the walls, the ivory bar lined with champagne glasses and eager bartenders shaking cocktails. The handful of people chatting inside don’t look like heiresses or oil barons. Your shoulders relax a fraction.

“Name?” the man at the door asks, a short list in his hand. You give yours and are ushered in, a drink immediately put in your hand and a string of metallic gold beads tossed over your head by a waitress.

“Happy New Year!” she says, taking your coat. You slip into the crowd looking for the only person you came here for - Javi. But his caramel curls and exuberant laugh haven’t reached you yet.

“I love what they’ve done with the decorations!” a cheery voice exclaims over your shoulder. You look around, then up to see a delicate web of black and gold streamers holding balloons precariously above you. One single streamer hangs to the floor behind the bar, which an olive-skinned hand points to. “I think at midnight they pull that.” You turn to see the woman speaking to you, and she’s...normal-looking. Peppy brunette with a sharply cut bob, sparkling brown eyes, and a glittery top with black slacks. Maybe you had nothing to worry about.

“That’s fun, I haven’t been out on New Years in ages,” you say, taking a sip of champagne. The bubbles tickle your tongue pleasantly. It’s good, much better than any champagne you’ve had at parties.

“Oh then you’ve come to the perfect place! Who invited you?” she asks, finishing off her glass and placing it on a waiter’s tray as it floats by. 

“Javi,” you say, a little shyly. He mentioned that he was hosting it, but you had no clue who the other guests were. How long could you keep up the facade?

“Of course! How do you know him? I’m a long-lost cousin myself, been out of the loop for a while, but it’s nice to see him again.” She waits expectantly, and if you didn’t feel like throwing up before you definitely do now.

“Uhhh, we met…on a flight…” you start to say, working through how the hell you were going to explain the circumstances of your meeting to a stranger, when her eyes light up.

“Oh my GOD, it’s you!” she gasps, grabbing on to both your shoulders. “Javi told me about the girl on the plane on his way here. That story, the way he tells it, it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. And you’re here! Now! I have to find him, he’ll be so excited!” She squeezes your shoulders again with a little squeal before darting through the crowd, a nervous giggle smothered in your hand.

He told people about you. 

He told people about you in a way that made him sound happy.

You could burst, the light inside you is so expansive. 

You’re about to follow when a large palm circles your bicep, turning you gently around in the crowd.

“You came.”

Javi says it like a prayer, like he believed but never thought a miracle would grace him. His curls are swept back from his face in tantalizing waves. He’s in a gray blazer, a navy button-up with some abstract patterning hanging onto his broad chest for dear life. The top three buttons already gave up the fight, chest dewy with the humidity in the room. But it’s his face that melts your anxieties away. His eyes drape warmth over you, fondness in their depths that he only hinted at in his messages. His soft smile lashes your heart into a gallop, breaking into one of your own.

“Of course. How could I miss it?” you say, winking when his grin widens. He leans forward to place a chaste kiss on your cheek, hand spreading across your lower back. 

“I am so happy to see you, conejita,” he whispers, raising goosebumps along the nape of your neck. 

Oh, you’re in it deep now.

As the night continues more people file in, filling the small space with chattering conversation. You find the bubbly brunette again, who introduces herself as Julia, and get to talking about houseplant care and aggravations. She’s unpretentious, passionate, and makes you feel like you belong. Honestly, most of the people do. As the night wears on and you shake more hands and spark more conversations, it dawns on you why these people are all together tonight. This is Javi’s circle, people who understand him and bring him joy.

Bashful happiness that you might bring him joy settles in your chest.

Javi scoops you up every few minutes, guiding you to new groups or asking you if you’ve tried something. The upscale pigs in a blanket are your personal favorite, snagging a whole tray for yourself when a waiter walks by. You’re almost embarrassed, but Javi’s crinkled smile as he tries to steal one and gets his hand slapped is worth it.

A murmuring begins by the entrance, a flocking to the door. Javi comes to your elbow, leaning on one foot and placing his warm hand on your lower back. He’s been doing it to you all night, every time you stand beside him, but it’s never less thrilling.

“What’s that all about?” you ask, your third glass of champagne fizzing delightfully under your skin. He catches someone’s eye in the crowd, gesturing them over.

“Just a good friend who came to visit.”

You almost choke on your sip of bubbles.

“Nicolas. Fucking. Cage,” you scoff to Javi under your breath as the man himself emerges out of the crowd. He’s bee-lining your way but stops to shake hands and engage in polite conversation. His emerald velvet jacket contrasts the burgundy button-up underneath nicely, but the faded Dad jeans and white tennis shoes clash adorably with the ensemble. “You could have warned me!”

“Your reaction was well worth your annoyance,” Javi placates, pressing you forward as the crowd falls back.

“How are you doing Nic? How’s the family?” Javi asks, pulling the famous actor in for a hug. They give brief updates, you standing back a step awkwardly. Debating on slipping away, Javi introduces you to Nic and pulls you back into the conversation.

“The girl on the plane,” Nic says, and if you ever thought his speaking affect was fake you’re certain now it’s genuine. He takes your hand in both of his, shaking it earnestly. “I heard your sister is a big fan. I hope she liked the message, I know it was a little rushed but, last minute on the holidays, you know…” You shake your head, fighting back your sister’s scream in the back of your mind.

“She was over the moon. Thank you again for doing that, it was very kind of you,” you say, trading a secret smirk with Javi. It’s a harmless lie, but the fact that he’s perpetuating it makes you even giddier.

“Well next time you’re at one of Javi’s parties you should bring her. I love meeting fans,” Nic says, giving you a pat on the shoulder and peeling off to get himself a drink. Javi slides back to your side, the laughter you’d been suppressing squeaking out of the corners of your mouth.

“Clara’s gonna die. I’ll have to lie to her to get her in the same room as Nic,” you sputter, leaning into Javi’s side as he puts an arm around your shoulders. Frenetic energy dissipating, you savor the solid breadth of his chest, that delicious citrus bite of his scent. He holds you there, and after a moment his cheek presses against the side of your head. He inhales, your face burning when you realize he’s smelling you. 

“That’s it, you’re a wizard or something. No one can grant as many wishes as you,” you tease, twisting to look into Javi’s face. The crows feet and wrinkles smooth as he looks at you, eyes darting from your own to your lips and back again. “Thank you,” you finally say, letting him slide his arm down to pull you into his chest.

“It is I who should be thanking you, conejita. I’ve been living a full life, a better life in recent times, but it feels that much brighter when you’re close to me.” His touch is hesitant when his fingers graze your jaw, his hold loosening on your back. It’s all broadcasting only what you want. He would chase you if you let him, though if you stepped away now he’d let you. But in those touches are the longing to be more than acquaintances. And in this room you thought you’d never belong in, you feel safe, and seen.

Over the chatter and laughter swirling past, you talk. About Javi’s life, and your own. Your work and what you love to do. His love of movies, your love of old houses and national parks. Your mutual dislike of overused CGI elements and predictable jumpscares. He strokes your back, your arm, as you speak, sometimes needing to break away to say hello or answer a question, but unfailingly coming back to you. 

As the final minutes near, you voice the question burning in the back of your mind.

“Javi, you’re so…” you gesture at this posh, gorgeous man standing beside you. “You’re so far out of my league I can’t even see you. And I know I’m a catch,” you interject, gesturing at yourself now with amusement. “I’m a snack, I’m a whole meal, I don’t deny it. But I’m more like…Applebees than Wolfgang Puck.” You wave your hands, banishing the jumble away. “I guess I just don’t understand why…me. Here. Tonight.”

Javi’s brow furrows, his mouth tightening into a pout as he casts his gaze down. Waiting is torture, needing to know if this is just a little thank-you or something more. 

“One minute!” someone shouts, the excitement in the room ratcheting up another series of degrees as everyone gathers in the center of the restaurant. Javi leads you to the middle, the throng of people parting enough to give you some space inside it. Once your feet stop, he sweeps you into another embrace, this one firmer. His eyes roam your face, searching for something before he speaks. 

“As much as I love the old movies, I do not believe in love at first sight. I believe in attraction, and common interests, and support. I believe in two people finding each other in the most unusual way and taking it as a sign. And when the universe gives you another chance and it only makes you want that person more, well…” Javi trails off, one hand coming up to curl around your head, his thumb stroking the hinge of your parted jaw. Your eyes must be hopeful because he barrels on.

“Well, I am not one to overlook lightning striking twice. And you are…you are not an…apple bee?” he asks, confusion twisting the words. You shake your head and pat his chest.

“It’s a, like, chain restaurant. Sorry, doesn’t make a lot of sense if you haven’t heard of it,” you murmur, stroking a finger along his lapel. 

“But that’s just it, because I don’t agree with that. You are so much more than I wished. I feel like…not like a puzzle, but like…two rivers meeting. Both strong on their own, but together, mingled, are in harmony.”

“Okay everyone, get ready, on ten!”

“Javi, what are you…”

“Nine!”

“I want more of this, conejita. I want more of you. If you’ll have me too.”

“Eight!”

“I…do, but I just…it…it feels so…complicated.”

“Seven!”

“We do not need all of the answers now. Just one.”

“Six!”

“Which one is that?”

“Five!”

“Will you let me kiss you tomorrow?”

“Four!”

“Three!”

“Two!”

“One!”

“Yes, Javi.”

The restaurant erupts in cheers of “Happy New Year!” as people hug and kiss and celebrate. One of the waiters pulls the crepe paper cord and balloons tumble from the ceiling, packets of foil confetti dumping and exploding over the crowd. If you were paying attention you’d laugh, reach your hands up to the ceiling and try to catch handfuls of the glittering shower, but you’re preoccupied with Javi’s gentle smile before he pulls your lips to his.

If this kiss was a precursor to how your next year would go, magical might be a good descriptor. Or explosive. Swoon-worthy maybe. But perfect might be the best. Javi’s first chaste press is followed by deeper kisses, his full lips covering your own with quiet little pants. When he pulls back enough to see your kiss-drunk face his whole demeanor lights up, lacing his fingers with yours and pulling you through the crowd.

Once tucked away on a bench in the back of the restaurant, he proceeds to kiss you with more fervor, tongue slipping against yours tentatively. He only interrupts the worshipful makeout with touches to your face like he still can’t believe you’re here. Covering his hands with your own, you tilt your head to one side.

“I feel like this is going to be a very good year.”

Javi’s sweet smile turns just a fraction devilish, and your heart flutters with it.

“Better than I could have wished for."

END

Part 3: A Gift of Light and Joy

[monstersinthecosmos]

i want a human AU about Marius as just a really boring guy with an office job, divorced sad sack nearing mid-life crisis realizing he hasn't made a career of his many passions, super strung tight and touch starved and lonely and a friend (probably a weirdo friend like Avi) finally gives him the number for a dom service he should try. And Marius's interest is piqued; he remembers being into stuff like this before the divorce shriveled up his libido, and tbh it's not entirely even ABOUT libido as much as like, maybe he just wants someone to hit him so that he feels something, and then he'll be able to get some sleep.

so anyway a few weeks later after he's worked up the courage and filled out the little survey online and signed all the waivers and submitted his medical documents etc he has his first session with Amadeo; he shells out for a nice hotel room, not sure if it's appropriate to bring this person home, maybe secretly wanting to show off, but Amadeo is so cold and deadpan and doesn't even comment on it, isn't impressed at all. He shows up in jeans and a ratty hoodie and just pushes forward to go change in the bathroom, and comes out in tight black shiny gear, flogger in hand, and after an hour Marius's ears are ringing and he's red all over and he had no idea so much degrading, mean shit could come out of this angelic looking face.

Amadeo doesn't talk much afterwards but sticks around for a little while, back in his jeans and hoodie, and he makes Marius tea and asks if he wants a massage. There are a few minutes that Marius feels the threat of sub drop hovering at the edges, feeling old and stupid, thinking his life has been a waste, but Amadeo is graceful enough to distract him. Doesn't talk much, just enough, asks if he wants to put a movie on, and Marius watches the soft curiosity in his face as he keeps glancing at the screen.

Marius tips him well, thanks him, spends the night in the hotel since he paid for it.

It becomes a regular spot in their calendars. They get a little more elaborate. Amadeo is honest when he's not confident about something, and keeps it professional, but he allows Marius to teach him. Marius shows him all the knots he likes, and teaches him some other methods for impact play. More and more, in the aftercare when they're done, Amadeo's personality comes out. He talks more. Marius even gets him to laugh.

And Amadeo is professional, but he's young. Marius notices when his resolve starts to chip away. Maybe Marius leans into it, even though he knows he shouldn't. Maybe it turns into breaking some rules on their original contract, like when they finally make out. And the time Marius finally reaches to touch the bulge in Amadeo's pants, because Amadeo never gets off in their sessions. Even Amadeo's agency discourages unsafe sex or fluid exchange, and neither of them talk about it when Marius finally sucks him off, and Amadeo comes all over his face.

So what happens when it gets unethical, when they're in too deep? Amadeo tells him one night that he doesn't think he should see Marius as a client anymore, that their boundaries have become too murky, and he suggests someone else that Marius could see instead, but it just turns into them meeting outside the agency. Meeting in the daylight, for coffee, and Amadeo blushes when Marius puts a hand on his leg beneath the table.

"I still want to pay you, you know," Marius says, near his ear. "Not as a client. I just want to pay you."

And just a bit longer before they finally start meeting at Marius's house. Off the books now, no agency involved, but Marius keeps paying him. And texts him through the week, buys him clothes, Venmo's him with a note to treat himself to lunch. Whenever Marius gets paid he thinks about how much he'll pass onward to Amadeo. Sometimes, watching the numbers drain from his bank account feels the same as an orgasm draining his body.

Maybe a year in before they finally fuck. And at first it's still Amadeo in charge. Smacking him on the face and telling him what to do, telling him how fast to go, making demands. Riding him for the first half, staring down at Marius like he's worthless. Stoic for as long as he can before he falls apart whimpering, and then he's just a brat. He doesn't protest when Marius takes control, flips them over, rails him into the mattress. Tears in Amadeo's eyes as he comes on his soft belly, and he presses his hands to his face to hide.

Then, the next time after that, Amadeo actually spends the night.

His name is Armand, he admits one day. Quietly, after dinner, as Marius signs the check. His real name, he means. And he's blushing again, and looking away, and tells Marius he can still call him Amadeo if he wants to. But his name is Armand. If he likes that instead.

And Amadeo was the dom, but Armand is something else.

Marius should have known, when he saw the eagerness, teaching him how to work rope and teaching him the best places to land a flogger and he should've known as Amadeo's façade cracked, every time they've fucked, the way he became so small and needy. He should've seen the way his big wet eyes could follow Marius around the room sometimes.

Subbing was fun for Marius and he needs it sometimes, for sure. But he's in too deep now. He needs both, he needs anything. He needs Armand most of all. And domming Armand is just as good.

[tw-inkl-e-tit-s]

✩ -Sunday- ✩

Pairing: Miguel Cazarez Mora x Fem!Reader

Word count: 4.9k

Type: Fluff

Warnings: None other than some cussing if you squint!

| Miguel Cazarez Mora Masterlist

It was a very exciting Sunday for you, you were FINALLY getting to meet your long-distance boyfriend. both of you have been talking over the phone for about three years. It all started when Miguel saw you in a movie and he knew he had to become your friend, he thought you were so cool. When he texted you on Instagram he was so nervous, You saw the text and agreed to be his friend. 

After months of talking every day, Miguel offered to fly you out but your parent said no. you were so bummed out, you asked them a year later and they said no again, Like what the fuck bro? You didn't even bother asking them again.

 Miguel's birthday was coming up and you needed to find something special to get him, Something he didn't already have.

"Ughhh!" You sighed as you flopped down on your bed. "What the hell do you get a sixteen-year-old boy who lives a billion miles from you!?" Your dad looked at you as he put the last screw in your vanity. He was always getting you nice things when your mom wouldn't.

 "Well I don't know, Why don't you get him a pair of shoes, He's a sneakerhead right?" I nodded my head as I took my phone out of my pocket to look at some shoes online.

 "Guess that'll have to do." I thought.

 I was seventeen and very mature for my age I thought, But apparently, my mom thought otherwise.

 My dad sighed as he got up off my floor. "Why don't you go see him?" I raised my eyebrow and peeked at him over my phone screen. "Uh, Mom keeps telling me I can't go." He laughed and shook his head.

 "I never said you couldn't go, did I." I tossed my phone beside me and sat up all the way. "What are you trying to say," I asked slowly, Very suspicious.

 "I'm saying I will let you go." He began to pack up his tools in his toolbag. I didn't know what to say, Is he playing with me right now? cause if so that's fucked up.

 "Mom will be upset-"

 "Your mom is on a business trip and won't return for a month." He laughed as he grabbed his toolbag off the ground.

 He turned to look at me before he walked out of my room. "What are you doing!? you better start packing if you wanna catch that flight to your lover boy tonight!!" he walked out laughing, I'm guessing at my shocked expression. 

Really Dad "lover boy?"- wait TONIGHT! "WHAT DO YOU MEAN TONIGHT!!" I yelled from my room. "I SAW YOU MOPING AROUND ALL DAY YESTERDAY SO I BOOKED A FLIGHT TO ARIZONA FOR TONIGHT," he yelled.

 I jumped up and immediately started packing. "HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK YESSSS!!!" I yelled jumping around my room and trying to pack as much and as fast as I could.

*RING RING RING*

The shrill sound of my ringtone blasted throughout my room as I was packing. I walked over and picked it up off my bed, HOLY SHIT IT'S MIGUEL!! WHAT DO I DO?! I freaked out as I threw my phone back on my bed and ran to the other side of my room. What the fuck y/n, it's not a bomb! And I just ignored my boyfriend's call!

 I expected him to call again but he just sent a text instead.

 "You didn't pick up Hermosa :'("

 I smiled at the name he always called me. Knowing what it meant made me melt even more, god I love this boy.

"Are you alright baby?" He sent another text

 "I'm fine, I just got done walking my dog." I sent the text which was true, I did just get back from walking my dog. I watched as the three little dots bubbled in the corner of my phone screen.

 "Y/n what did I tell you about walking alone by yourself late at night? I want you to call me when you do that!"

 "I didn't wanna bother you while you were in a meeting baby."

 "Just promise me you'll call me next time, I don't care if I'm in a meeting, I love you and I wanna make sure you're safe at all times." I smiled at his text, He's so cute and protective.

 "I promise I'll call you next time babe, I love you too." I put my phone in my pocket as I sent my last message. I grabbed my bags and walked downstairs.

 "Do you need help with those?" My dad asked as he grabbed his truck keys. I nodded my head, I was so out of breath. He walked up and grabbed my bags from me. "You ready to go sunshine?" He asked as he opened the front door for me. 

"Yep!" he laughed as I ran to the truck jumping in the passenger seat.

·̩͙꒰ঌ✞໒꒱·

When I arrived at the airport I said goodbye to my dad and headed inside.

 I have no idea what I'm going to do when I land in Arizona, I need to text Wendy and let her know so she can help me with the surprise! I pulled up her contact in my phone and shot her a quick text.

 "Hey, Wendy I just got some really great news! I'm going to be coming to Arizona to surprise Miguel for his birthday. I need you to help so he doesn't get suspicious." I knew Wendy would be over the moon since it felt like she wanted to meet me a little bit more than Miguel did. I got a text back about three minutes later.

 "OMG! AHH!! I'm so happy right now you have no idea, I would love to help you with this honey. Miguel has been walking around the house all week saying "What's a great birthday without my girl by my side celebrating with me." you know how much I hate seeing my sweet boy like this, He's going to be so over the moon when he sees you!" I smiled as I wrote her back quickly, My number had been called.

 "I know and I wish I could have been there sooner. I'm so excited to meet you and to see Miguel, I love him so much and he really does deserve the world. My gate number just got called so I have to hurry, But I will see you when I land in Arizona! :)" I quickly grabbed my bags and practically ran to my gate.

·̩͙꒰ঌ✞໒꒱·

My plane had landed about two hours ago and now I'm stuck waiting for my Uber driver to pick me up and drive me to the hotel. My phone couldn't call anyone since my phone was dead, My dad and Miguel are probably freaking out right now.

 I decided to just ask somebody if I could borrow their phone.

 I scanned the place and asked a few people, They were all very rude. I was coming up on my last person, He was very tall and thin and he had very fluffy hair.

 "Please be nice!" I thought.

 I walked up to him and tapped his shoulder, he quickly turned around. "Can I help you?" he asked smiling gently.

 "Can I please borrow your phone, I just have to make a few calls," I asked biting the inside of my cheek. "Yeah of course!" he laughed pulling out his phone and handing it to me.

 "Password?"

"Oh, It's just hot Cheetos!" he exclaimed putting his hands in his pocket. "Weird." I thought as I typed in my dad's number.

 I put the phone up to my ear and listened as it rang a couple of times, I heard rustling on the other end before my dad's voice came through.

 "I don't want anything, bye!"

 "NO DAD! it's me y/n," I said hoping he heard me before he hung up. He must've "Oh honey are you okay? I've been trying to call you for two hours now! Where are you and whose phone is this?" I could tell he was worried.

 "Dad I'm fine I landed about three hours ago, My phone died when I got off the plane, My uber driver won't hurry and I just borrowed somebodies phone." the line went silent for a bit and I was starting to think we had lost connection.

 "Oh I hate this stupid phone, Can you hear me, sunshine!? Hello! y/n?!" my dad yelled threw the phone.

 I laughed as I looked at the boy who was standing there awkwardly. "Um sorry, what's your name?" He looked at me and smiled, "You're fine, My name is Mason, Mason Thames." I nodded my head and said, "Thank you."

"Dad I can hear you!"

 "Who's phone did you borrow, I need to know just in case." I couldn't help but roll my eyes at him, but I understood.

 "His name is Mason Thames Dad. I don't think he's gonna murder me." the boy eyed me suspiciously before we both busted out laughing.

 "I don't think I could murder anyone," he said trying to catch his breath.

 "You need to call Miguel, he's been blowing up my phone all night yesterday and all day today." My heart sank, I completely forgot, he was probably freaking out right now.

 "Alright, Dad I'll call you back when I get to the Airbnb, Love you." I hung up and began to put in Miguel's phone number, His name kept popping up in this random guy's phone but I just shook it off as I thought it was a glitch. It rang for a little and went straight to voicemail.

 "Well fuck!" I thought to myself.

 I handed Mason back his phone and said a quick "Thank you" before walking off.

 "Wait!" I heard Mason yell. " You played in Stranger Things didn't you?" He asked trying to catch his breath. I nodded my head, smiling, this was the first time I was getting recognized!

 "Can I and my sister take a few pictures with you, We loved your character!" He said as a tall red-headed girl appeared out of nowhere.

 "Of course!" I said smiling.

 We chatted and took some pictures and videos for about ten minutes.

 They were really funny people, We exchanged numbers and my Uber finally arrived. I waved them off and I got into my Uber.

I couldn't wait to get to the Airbnb I was so sweaty and I needed a shower.

·̩͙꒰ঌ✞໒꒱·

When I arrived at the Airbnb I threw my bags on the bed and plugged my phone up, I got my outfit ready and took a shower.

 When I got out I did my hair, and makeup, and got dressed.

I turn my phone on and it started blowing up with a bunch of notifications.

169 MISSED CALLS AND 169 TEXT FROM "Miguelito ♡"

89 MISSED CALLS AND 79 TEXT FROM "Dad"

109 MISSED CALLS AND 189 TEXT FROM "Wendy"

I opened my dad's text first and sent him a text saying I got to the Airbnb safely and I was getting ready to go see Miguel.

I opened Wendy's text next.

                                                                                  Wendy

Did you land safely?

Haven't heard from you, are you okay?

Y/n?

Miguel is freaking out.

I'm starting to get a little worried about you as well honey

Did you make it?

Your dad said he hasn't heard from you either

I'm headed to the Airbnb to check on you

You aren't here?

Where are you?

                                                                        I'm so sorry, My phone died when I was getting off the                                                                                 plane this morning. I had to borrow somebodies phone to                                                                         call my dad. I'm safe and at the Airbnb right now.

I sighed and clicked on Miguel's contact.

                                                                                   Miguelito ♡

Hey pretty, What are you doing?

Are you taking a shower lol

Y/nnnn?

Baby?

Are you reading 😴

Do you wanna ft?

                                           Missed a Facetime call from "Miguelito ♡"

Whyyyyy!

I'm bored 💀

I can't sleep babe, I need to see you!

Are you alright?

You're freaking me out Y/n!

Your dad said he doesn't know where you are!?

You didn't walk the dog by yourself again, did you?

Princessa answer my calls!

                                                                                        I'm fine baby I swear! I stayed the night with Ella                                                                                            and my phone broke. I had to get a new one and we                                                                                       had a power outage in my town. I'm sorry I didn't                                                                                            mean to worry you like that angel, I'm fine.

I felt my heart break as I read his text messages. I loved that boy with everything in me and I really didn't mean to worry him that bad, but he is famous for worrying too much.

Wendy had texted me that she was outside and she had a plan on how I could surprise Miguel.

I grabbed my bag and phone and my now-charged battery pack And headed outside.

When I got outside I saw Wendy standing outside her car smiling big.

"HIIII!!" She yelled as she pulled me into a warm hug.

"Hey! I can't believe this actually happening!" I said pulling away from the hug.

"Miguel is going to freak out, He called me and told me that your dad said you were ok."

"Yeah, I would've called him but everyone at the airport was rude," I said getting in the front seat

"What is the plan?" I asked

"Alright, I'm going to drive you to our house because Miguel isn't there right now, He is meeting up with some of his friends at the moment. When I drop you off feel free to do whatever, Make yourself at home, I am going to grab some stuff for his party and I have to get his cake. People will be showing up so just let them in and tell them you're his girlfriend and you are there to surprise him." She said Pulling into their driveway.

"And can you watch Enzo?" She asked getting out of the car.

I just smiled and nodded, I was so nervous.

I walked into the house and immediately got trampled to the ground.

"OH, MY GOD! YOU ARE ACTUALLY HERE!?" I opened my eyes to see Alondra and Enzo.

They helped me up and gave me a proper hug this time.

"I'm sorry, I tried to hold them back!" Miguel's dad laughed as he gave me hug.

"It's fine, I'm super excited to meet you guys," I said as I picked Enzo up. "I'll show you Mikey's room, It might be dirty so you have been warned." I laughed and followed her down the hallway, "He actually deep clean it out of stress today, so it should look nice!" Wendy yelled from the kitchen.

Alondra opened the door and walked in, "Here is his ugly ass room." she said spinning around with her hands out. "don't tell him I was in here." she said walking out, "I won't." I said laughing.

I looked around and smiled, I couldn't help but get a bit emotional. I was finally gonna meet my boyfriend. Fuck my mom. Dad is my favorite now.

I felt two little hands wipe away my tears.

"Why are you crying?" Enzo asked, He was so sweet.

"I'm just excited to meet Mikey," I said smiling

"Oh trust me he is excited to see you too because he always talks about you." He said laughing

"Oh really?" I said giggling

"What does he say about me?" He sat on the bed beside me and began talking. He was defiantly a good storyteller, and he was very animated. I and Enzo talked over the phone several times when he would steal the phone away from Miguel. He would come into Miguel's room every single night to tell me goodnight.

"He always says that you are so beautiful like an angel and he wants to marry you!" He yelled clapping his hands. I blushed at the thought of me and Miguel getting married one day, I'll definitely have to talk to him about it.

I felt my phone vibrate beside me.

Miguel had texted me back.

"Thank god you are okay baby, I'm out with some friends right now waiting for them to get out of the store. I'm gonna call you just pass some time, I miss your voice so much."

I kinda panicked as I saw the Facetime call pop up, I quickly ran over to an empty white wall and sat down on the floor. "What are you doing y/n?" Enzo asked. "Shh," I said putting my finger over my mouth, He nodded and watched me as I answered the call.

I answered the call and Miguel's smiling face popped up, "Hi pretty." He said, My heart skipped a beat every time he said that.

Enzo must have noticed my blushing state cuz he giggled. I covered my camera and held my finger over over my mouth, He just rolled his eyes.

"Why is your screen black?" Miguel asked.

"I just dropped my phone, What did you get today?" I asked trying to change the subject

"I got some new shoes, And a brand new carrr- No I'm just playin'- I wish, goddd!" he groaned throwing his head back, Focus Y/n. "Well, that sounds fun!" I said laughing

"You know what would be the best present ever," He asked resting his head on his hand and looking at me. "Huh?" I asked raising a brow

"Having you here, in my arms." He said and I sighed "I wish baby," I said muting my mic as Wendy opened the door. "Are you on the phone" She whispered, I nodded my head. "I'm leaving, Bye" I waved her off as she shut Miguel's door.

"Who are you talking to baby?" He asked setting his phone up on the dashboard.

"Oh nobody, Just my TV," I said rolling my eyes at the awful lie.

"Did you paint your walls? their white?" He asked sounding confused

"I'm just at my aunt's house." He raised his brow and narrowed his eyes

"But you said your TV was going in the background?" I panicked, I didn't know what else to say

"Guest room." Enzo whisper yelled. I forgot he was even in here.

"I'm in my aunt's guest room, she has a TV in here," I said smiling at Enzo who just smiled back.

"Oh, let me see." He said rolling his eyes.

I looked over at Enzo whose eyes were wider than the moon.

He started moving his hands all over the place and blocking his ears. I just looked at him like he was on something. He rolled his eyes and I muted the phone. "Pretend like you're losing connection!" He said.

"Y/n, show me the room, who are you talking to?" He said

"Huh?" I said

"You keep muting me, and you aren't talking as much as you usually do."

"Hello?" I said pretending I couldn't hear him

"Y/n, stop playin' with me." He said shaking his head

"Hellooo?"

"Bro stop"

"I can't hear you"

"Whatever," he said hanging up the phone.

I felt bad when he ended the call but I couldn't ruin the surprise. "don't feel bad," Enzo said as he walked out of the room.

·̩͙꒰ঌ✞໒꒱·

There were a lot of people here, I mean a lot! Once people heard that I was Miguel's girlfriend they all came over to greet me. I was very nervous as to what they would think of me but they all seemed to like me pretty well.

"Y/n we need to hide you! Miguel is in the house right now!" Wendy said grabbing my arm and dragging me over to the side of the house. "What!? He's early!" I said freaking out.

"Calm down, He's gonna lose it when he sees you! I'm so excited!" She clapped her hands.

She called over some of Miguel's uncles to guard me so he couldn't see me.

"Bro stop putting up the fours in every picture!" I heard someone yell 

"For real you have started a cult, Mason!"

"Can I get Miguel over here please we need to sing happy birthday!!" Wendy yelled as everyone stopped and focused on her.

"I thought we were going to the restaurant first?" Miguel asked walking up to her as she lit the candles, "some people aren't going to be here that long," she said smiling

Wendy and everyone got out their phones and started recording.

Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Miguel! Happy birthday to you! Yayyy! Whoo!

"Present time!!" Wendy yelled as she gave him a bag

it was a bag from me, but I still got him something else.

"From Y/n?" He asked confused as he opened the card. "Read it out loud!" Someone screamed

He laughed as he read the card aloud, "Hi Angel I hope you are having a good birthday! I wish I was there to celebrate it with you. I know you hate when I buy you super expensive things but you kept talking about how you wanted these so I had to buy them for you baby, I love you so much Xoxo - Y/n" he blushed as finished the card, I laughed at all the 'ooh's' and 'Aww's' from everybody. 

"Wait who is y/n?" one of his friends yelled, I couldn't really see his face. "She's my girlfriend!" Miguel laughed.

 "What!? you didn't tell me you had a girlfriend!?"

"Surprise." He laughed as he pulled out the wrapped box. "Of course, it's hello kitty wrapping paper." he laughed as he started unwrapping it. "No fu- No way dude!" He sighed as he ripped the rest of the wrapping paper off. He had the biggest smile on his face.

 "What is it, Open it!" Enzo screamed standing beside him.

He opened the Nike box revealing the shoes he's been wanting for five months, But they were always sold out. 

He smiled as held one of the shoes up. "Dude those look sick!" His friend yelled.

"Alright we have one more present, and it's from y/n," Wendy said as she angled the camera pointing towards Miguel and his uncles who I was currently hiding behind.

"Where is it?" He asked as he looked in the bag.

"Well it's not in the bag," She laughed, he just looked confused.

I was so nervous, I wanted to cry, throw up, pull my hair out, and scream at the same time. My hands were getting so sweaty, All she had to say was "Come out!" and then I'll finally be able to hug him. I'm surprised that I hadn't already run out there and just trampled him to the ground.

"Are you sure you're ready?!" She laughed

"Yes, Mom I'm ready now where is it!?" He rolled his eyes

"Alright boys move out of the way!" She yelled and all the guys moved out of the way

I and Miguel made eye contact, He dropped the bag he had in his hand. his jaw was on the ground, I couldn't control the tears that came spilling out of my eyes, it just got worse when Miguel started crying. He ran towards me picking me up. My feet lifted off the ground as he began spinning me around. Everyone was tearing up or crying at this point. He put me down and grabbed the side sides of my face. "Are you real?" He asked still in shock.

I laughed as I leaned up to kiss him finally.

 it all felt so new to Miguel, All the feelings coursing throughout his body. her lips fit so perfectly with his, he hesitantly placed both hands on her cheeks, gently pulling her in to deepen the kiss more. it sounds cliche but it felt like a million fireworks going off in his stomach. he couldn't believe it, he couldn't believe that he was kissing his long-distance girlfriend finally, he always dreamed that this day would come, and it finally did he just wasn't expecting it.

We finally pulled away and he smiled down at me as he pulled me into a hug. Everybody started screaming and 'Whooing' I felt a tap on my shoulder as I and Miguel pulled apart. I turned around to see that Mason dude I saw at the airport!?

"Uh- What- How!?" I said trying to understand what the fuck was going on.

He just laughed and patted Miguel on the back. "I met your girlfriend this morning bro, I knew something was up when I saw your number in recent calls when she gave me my phone back." We all left to go eat at a restaurant and I got to talk with Mason some more. He was shocked that Miguel kept me a secret for three years.

I think it's safe to say that this is the best Sunday of my life.

...

Taglist: @vancehopperenthusiast @vancehoppergirl @bradyhepner @masonthameslvr @theblackphone-incorrectquotes @theblackphonesposts @deadghosy @finneyblakes @brokenphonewires @luckypinballmachine

[finelinevogue]

love me tomorrow

summary - you and Harry are high-school teachers and he loves you. the only issue is; you're a married woman

warnings: domestic abuse/violence - both emotional and physical, swearing, it’s very much a hurt/comfort piece. this is pretty heavy going and i need you all to know that abuse isn't okay, and i hope that you reach out to people if you need to. if you ever need a simple friend, for literally whatever reason, i'm always here! xx

pairing: teacher!harry x teacher!reader

word count: +13.8k

Life had been good to you. For the most part.

Life had given you a wholesome family who supported your every choice - even the drastic ones like choosing to live in Namibia for a year. Life had given you an incredible education, leading you on to a fulfilling life of educating the new generations. Life had given you so much love. Life had given you a healthy body and mind which you'd always cherished, up until recently.

Finding 'the one' in your life isn't supposed to be an easy road, but you were challenged with the hardest of them all.

Rodger Cassidy. 

The name of the man who has made life feel meaningless and you feel worthless.

That night you believed you'd met your soulmate. 

That night you believed you'd met your soulmate. 

Until you realised you hadn't.

After two years of being together he popped the question - you thinking that he'd taken long enough. Now, though, maybe he hadn't.

Rodger, or Ro as you started to nickname him, was the sweetest. He always drove you to work and back. He always made you a coffee in the mornings. He always stayed up late if you were out with the girls. But then it all changed and you never understood why. Whether it was something creeping up on him from his past, the stresses of every day life or troubles with his family you just didn't know. All you knew it that you were the one he'd take his stress and anger out on at the end of the day.

The world had become a lot smaller since meeting Ro, both emotionally and physically. At first he stopped you from going abroad, saying that you didn't have the money to be wasting away on abroad luxuries anymore - but it was perfectly okay for him to be spending on gambling and alcohol instead. Then he cut you off from your friends and family, having texted them a long message explaining how they weren't suitable company anymore - but you were allowed to be friends with his druggie friends. Last, was not letting you out of the house unless he was with you or for work.

Never did you think that you would feel so trapped, but here you were.

Obviously you had put your foot down, each time, standing up for yourself and explaining that it wasn't okay to take away your freedom and your love like this. You'd even tried escaping one night through the window, to go to your best friends birthday party, but he caught you - explaining that if he ever found you leaving him again he'd kill you. Each time you would do something he didn't like, it would result in a beating - which is why you are very hypersensitive. 

It wasn't worth trying to be you anymore, you had to play by his rules now.

Your only chance of escape was work and it was the best 6 hours of your day.

Working at a primary school was the greatest decision of your life, even after marrying Ro. You'd worked there before marrying Ro and it was the one sense of normality that he let you keep from what you like to call your previous life.

The primary school had never been the end goal. You had really wanted to teach undergraduates at university, because your lectures at university were awful and you wanted to change the system. However, getting a job as a lecturer was a lot harder than you thought not having considered that you would need a PhD to do so. So primary school teaching it was and it was the best decision of your life.

You'd found an advert online for support staff at 'Snowdrops Primary School' and loved the sound of it. You instantly sent in your resume and within a week they'd gotten back to you, stating how impressed they'd been with your CV and wanted to call you in for a taster session. Upon arrival they had told you on the low that you'd already got the job, but that they had to ask you in for a taster session due to protocol. Engaging with the kids that day was a happiness that you'd never felt in your life. They were so care-free, yet so vulnerable, and you promised yourself that you'd help them become the best versions of themselves. At the end of the day you had a long meeting, which resulted in them congratulating you on your new job with them.

It still is the best thing to have happened to you. 

Getting to see your students grow every day, and at such a young age, was something very special to you. Knowing that they would go home feeling that little bit smarter was something you prided yourself on. Whether it be they'd learnt how to add four and two together, whether they'd successfully learnt how to spell their name or whether they'd managed to colour in a picture in between the lines, you were proud of all of them.

You taught a class of 14 and they were the best people in your life.

"You better be ready at 4:30pm Y/N. I'm going to be pissed if I have to come inside that stupid school and find you, again." Ro spat at you as he pulled up outside the school.

"O-okay." You answered quietly. 

Before you could open the door he grabbed your wrist tightly, making you wince at how harsh it was. You couldn't escape from his grip if you tried though, his hand being tighter than a leather belt.

"Really pissed, so i'd be careful if I were you." He threatened.

You really couldn't deal with him today.

Escaping the car as quickly as possible you made your way swiftly in to the building. As you passed students you would say hello and good mornings, just as they would to you. Your class' students were already sat at their desks waiting for you, greeting you with a chorus of mornings as you said hello to them all.

The day went quite well actually, considering the awful morning you'd had. Rodger had "accidentally" pushed you down the last few stairs, making you land on your ankle in a, not so, funny way and bruising the entirety of your hip. It was as if someone had got purple paint and splatted it all over your left side. It hurt to sit down for reasons you didn't understand and then stand back up - so you did a lot of your teaching standing up today.

Luckily for you, you'd gotten quite good at hiding the pain over the years and so no one really questioned why there was an ever so slight limp in you left ankle, or why you kept on running a hand protectively over your left side.

On Friday's your class and Harry’s class would come together to do arts and crafts in the afternoon. Strictly, you weren't supposed to and instead were supposed to be coming together for additional maths or english lessons, but you and Harry thought that was a bit harsh on a Friday afternoon. After much persuasion you and Harry, collaboratively, managed to convince the head teacher to let the children's creativity flow instead hence creating an artistry period.

Harry’s students were a mixed class too, but his class were a little more rowdy than yours which you suspected had something to do with Harrys extroverted personality, compared to your introverted one. Your class were a lot more tranquil, but you weren't complaining. 

They were your calm away from the storm.

This particular afternoon you had asked the kids to make an artefact for someone that meant a lot to them. Some inspiration you'd given was perhaps a card for your mum or maybe a name badge for a pet. It could be anything. Then on Monday, after they'd given their artefact to whoever, they would write a sentence or two about the reaction of the gift receiver.

You were currently sat with Hallie, one of your quietest students, and one whom you saw yourself in, working on her artefact. You were surprised when she'd asked whether she was allowed to make an artefact for Harry, or Mr Styles to her, but you told her as long as she gave it to him with a good enough reason then there was no problem there.

"What are you two mischiefs up to?" Harry asked, coming to sit down on the chair opposite you both, whilst you two continued to giggle.

"No Mr Styles! You can't see. Mrs Cassidy and I are painting for you." Hallie exclaimed, covering her little arms over the art that you'd been working on. Harry leant back against the chair, arms up in defence and looked at you instead of Hallie and her present.

"Sorry! Sorry Hallie. You both painted it though? For me?" Harry smirked, knowing he would tease you for this later - or maybe not when he finds out what it is. You squinted your eyes at him, already knowing his devious plot against you. You knew him too well for him to let this go.

"Yes, Mr Styles." Hallie nodded her head, glancing upwards to make sure Harry wasn't cheating. She looked up to see him watching you instead, noticing the sparkle in his eyes she saw in her own mum and dads. "It was Mrs Cassidy's idea to paint it, otherwise it would still be not colourful." She added, picking up a different paintbrush to use a different colour. Her grammar wasn't technically correct, but you hadn't learnt about sentence structure yet so neither of you felt the need to correct her.

"Mrs Cassidy?" You heard Jada shout politely from the other side of the room. She had her hand patiently waiting in the air and you felt slightly guilty over how long she'd been sat there waiting for you. You had been too caught up with Harry that you didn't even notice.

"I'm coming Jada." You shouted back, not wanting to have the full conversation with her from opposite ends of the classroom. 

You got up from the chair you'd been sat in, wincing slightly from the shooting pain in your hip, and pointed you fore-fingers from your eyes to point at Harry, threatening him that you were watching him and that he better not try and persuade Hallie to show him his present if you weren't there. Harry held his hands up to you, which made you felt better about leaving. However, you didn't feel good about the concerned look in his eyes from when you'd stood up.

Jada put her hand down when you finally came over and started to help her with a glue problem she was having. Apparently Dennis, the boy sat next to her, and from Harry’s class no surprise, had glued her hands together for fun, but it had turned out to be stickier glue than they both expected. At least it wasn't superglue.

The class continued for an hour before you slowly wrapped up, letting some people showcase their artefacts. Dennis showed his name tag that he'd made for his pet fish, who was named after a certain clownfish from a beloved Disney movie - although it was written as the alternative spelling of 'Neemow'. Parker showed the snowflake that he'd made for his mum, with the help of Harry's cutting expertise.

It wasn't until after class, during the last recreational play time outside before the end of the day, that Hallie gave her artefact away.

"Mr Styles?" Hallie asked, holding her piece of art behind her back. You and Harry were tidying away the trays of colouring pencils, pens, glues and scissors back in to their assigned drawers.

"Hello Hallie." Harry stopped what he was doing and crouched down, seeing as he was a lot taller than her. He knew she had something to give her, since she'd been antsy about him seeing her art all afternoon.

"My gift is to you." She told him, swaying on the balls of her feet in nervous anticipation.

You watched the two interact as you filed away the paper into the correct trays, pushing the chairs firmly under the tables as you did so.

"Well thank you." Harry said gratefully, before even receiving it. Even if you didn't understand the reasoning behind the piece of art Hallie had created, you did know that Harry would get emotional over it.

Hallie cautiously moved her arms around front and presented her small token to Harry. She looked at him carefully, studying every facial expression carefully to see how well she'd done - or how badly. Harry was taken aback by the small, yet significant, gesture. It shouldn't have made Harry feel the way it did, but he could feel the tears starting to form in his eyes.

It was a medal.

Not just any medal though. Not a 'Number 1 teacher' or anything like that. It was a medal that had come from the heart. It was a 'You're my hero' medal. Harry didn't quite understand what he'd done to deserve such a thing, but he definitely thought it was the sweetest thing he'd received in a long time. He never expected to create such an impression on a student - especially one that he didn't even specifically teach.

"Do you like it?" Hallie asked, needing some sort of validation to know that her efforts weren't all for nothing. You knew that even if it were the ugliest looking thing in the world Harry would love it all the same. He would never have a bad word to say.

"Hallie I love it. Thank you, but what is it for?" He asked, making you listen extra carefully to her next words.

"Well it says you're my hero, because you made Mrs Cassidy smile the other day when she was upset." 

Hallie's words made you freeze. You, thankfully, weren't holding anything to drop on the floor to create a ruckus. You were shocked, completely. You were glad you didn't have to say anything to her right now because your whole mind had shut down.

It baffled you that a girl of five years old could tell that you were upset. You had been upset, but you didn't realise it was that obvious. You started to feel a little guilty for making Hallie witness your dark moments. What made up for it was the fact that she'd noticed that Harry was there to make you feel better. She did the thanking on behalf of you both. Technically she had said that it was being made from both of you, but you never knew you were helping because of that reasoning.

This was hitting you hard.

"Wow. That's very kind of you. I'll keep it with me always." Harry promised.

"Thanks Mr Styles." You wanted to believe that she was thanking him in reply to his words, but you felt that she was thanking him on a deeper level - as if thanking him for making you smile.

More of the conversation occurred between them, but you were too lost in your own mind to hear them. You'd stopped putting away the equipment and were instead staring outside, looking up at the darkening clouds.

"You okay?" You hear Harry’s voice swoon around you. You looked to the side of you and gave him a half-hearted smile, nodding your head since no words were able to form yet. "Hey, you can smile better than that. I would know." He proudly held up the medal for you to see, which made you genuinely laugh. "Didn't get this medal for nothing, Y/N/N."

You smiled to yourself, knowing you were beyond blessed to have this man in your life.

•••••

Life wasn't so blessed at home, however.

Luckily for you, you'd made it on time to meet Rodger, but unluckily it still didn't mean you were in the clear tonight.

Tonight was game night, which was the worst. Rodger would be always watch the footie with a bottle of beer, or seven, in one hand and a blunt in the other. These were some of the worst nights, because all the drugs and alcohol he took would never hit him until later on in the evening and that's when his rough side came out.

You wished you could prevent the inevitable, but it was just impossible.

Rodger had removed all the locks from the doors, bar the front door and back door, so you couldn't blockade him from you. You did that once, locking yourself in the bathroom, but when he broke down the door and found you in the bathtub he punched you so hard you passed out - you didn't wake until 14 hours later. He hadn't even taken you to hospital.

There were times, one game night, where his mates would come around. When that was the case you were absolutely degraded. He made you wear short, and tight, skirts, along with crop tops that were just exposed for too much, and serve them all beers and cigarettes throughout the evening. If you were well behaved, which had only happened once, then he let you go to bed early, otherwise he would openly hit you in-front of his friends. You thought that one of them might've helped, but they all just laughed - or joined in. It was those times when you wished you were never born.

He is nothing more than a monster.

"Y/N?" You heard Rodger shout from down the corridor. "Y/N!" He shouted louder, not even giving you two seconds before replying.

"Coming." You calmly replied back. You'd learnt that if you shouted back then it would make everything so much worse. One time, because he knew you were just taking the hits and not fighting back he got bored and let you be for the rest of the evening - he made up for the lack of abuse the next day though.

You walked down the hallway, a fresh cold beer in hand, and in to the lounge. He was sat, in the scruffiest of clothes and untidied beard, in his usual chair watching Tottenham play Sheffield United. He didn't even support either team so you didn't understand why he had to watch it - especially if it made his anger worse.

"Fucking took your time." Was his response for you giving him his new beer. No thanks given.

You're welcome, honey.

"Sorry, it won't happen again." You apologised, leaving your head to hang low. He hated when you looked at him if he wasn't speaking directly to you - something about you gross eyes staining his image. "Anything else?" You asked, just wanting to leave.

"Yeah, actually. You're staying home next Monday because the lads and I are watching the Seven Nations." He told you without a care in the world for your schedule. Did he realise you were holding down a full-time job as a teacher, which meant you worked on the weekdays?

"But i'm working then?" You questioned, thinking that maybe he'd meant to say Sunday instead - well more like hoping.

"Well you're fucking not." He dumbly said in reply.

"Ro, I have a full-time job. Can't you find someone else?" You offered, slightly annoyed that you were going to have to take time off work just to be humiliated in front of his loser friends. It just wasn't fair. You wanted to be in school, safe, with your wonderful students and your amazing co-staff (but mainly Harry).

"Are you fucking saying no to me?" Rodger asked, pausing the game to look up at you. Oh, this wasn't good. Nice going, Y/N...

"No, well, I mean—" You didn't know what to say to make this situation better, but you only knew of one way this night was ending.

"You said no. Didn't you?," He tauntingly asked, "and don't lie to me, bitch." He gritted through his teeth making your heart beat faster with anxiety. You really didn't have a way out of this tonight. Sometimes, as gross and disgusting as it was and made you feel, you could persuade him over with sex, but it was a last resort in case you felt like you were on the verge of passing out. You knew that using your body like that was wrong, but sometimes it was the only way of making him stop.

"Sorry, Ro." You quietly speak.

"Sorry? You're fucking sorry? No you aren't, but you will be." He stood up from his chair and made his way over to you. You backed up a bit before getting pulled back to Rodger with his strong grip. You let out a gasp as he pulled you, feeling very manhandled - literally.

"I am Ro, I am." You pleaded, knowing that you would be sore tomorrow. Before you could protest anymore a deafening strike sounded and it only took seconds for the stinging in your cheek to strengthen, and become excruciatingly painful. You wanted to cry but you knew this wouldn't be the worst of your evening and thought it would be easier if you cried later, knowing Ro would only go harder if he saw the pain he was causing.

"Shut the hell up and stay fucking quiet." He awarded you with another hit to the same spot he had only done a minute ago - but harder. This bruise would be a hard one to clean and cover up.

You don't remember how much longer he carried on for, but he didn't stop until you'd collapsed to the floor begging him to stop. You were so tired and exhausted that you got the point where you couldn't even physically beg him to stop.

At the end of the night you ended up with a bleeding and bruised cheek, a possible broken rib and no more tears left to cry, with hopes that things may get better soon.

•••••

Two weeks later, and a little more black and blue, it was another Friday.

Fridays were always your favourite, not necessarily because you had the weekend within reach but because your class and Harrys class got to mix - meaning you got to see Harry without excuse.

This Friday you had been learning a bit of music. Harry thought that the creative arts worked hand in hand with music, as it was often the inspiration for a lot of famous pieces, and brought it onto the curriculum. The children got to mess around with triangles, ukuleles, bongos and recorders, however you took the recorders away when you soon realised you would rather be deaf than listen to them play any more.

Bless them for trying, but no.

It was coming towards the end of the session now and the students were starting to become tireder, which is exactly what you'd expect towards the end of the day. They were all sat quietly at the front of the room, on the carpeted floor, waiting for further instructions from their teachers. It was nice to see them sat with people across classes, because it meant that they were sociable and weren't sticking to people who they were comfortable and familiar with.

Hallie was sat with Henry, who was from Harrys class. They kind of reminded you of you and Harry -  Hallie being the quiet introvert and Henry being the loving extrovert. They got along well and you wouldn't be surprised if they end up in a 'best-friends-since-childhoood' relationship when they grow up.

As you finished collecting in the last of the sheet music that you'd been practicing off you noticed someones hand go up from the corner of your eye. Harry seemed to have it under control, however.

"Yes, Dora. What can I do for you?" He asked, which enabled to put her hand back down. Dora was from his class.

"Mr Styles? Do you think you could play the guitar for us?" Dora asked politely. Before Harry could answer there was a sweet chorus of gasps and agreements from all of the children - even Hallie.

"Oh I don't know." Harry brushed it off, feeling slightly self conscious to play in front of you. You knew that he could play the guitar, because you saw him often transferring it from his car to his classroom. You would be strongly lying if you said you didn't dream about him playing the guitar for you. You could only imagine the angelic voice he had too.

"Please Mr Styles." Dora encouraged him, using her best puppy-dog eyes to persuade him.

"Yeah, go on Mr Styles." You chimed in, surprising Harry. He smirked and shook his head at you, pretending to give you the evil eyes. You knew that with you joining in he would definitely play for you all.

"Oh alright then." Harry huffed as if it was a chore, but you knew that we was very excited to be playing for you all - especially you. He picked up his guitar and threaded his head through the guitar strap - the same one he'd painted in a Friday afternoon art class once. The back of his guitar was covered in artistic stickers that his class had designed, but if you looked closely you would see your name amongst them - engraved by using a threading needle. He'd told you he wanted your name more permanent than everyone elses'.

He strummed once or twice before turning to Dora.

"What would you like me to play, Dora, since you asked for this?" He asked. You knew Harry was musically gifted and it wouldn't take him long to figure out the chords for any song. He loved playing anything by The Beatles, that much you knew, but you were sure he'd give anything a go if he tried hard enough.

"Um.." Dora looked up to the ceiling as if it would give her inspiration, before answering, "I like that one you performed the other day." She vaguely answered.

"Do you remember what is was called?" Harry asked, tuning his guitar whilst he waited patiently.

"I think it was called 'hello there delly-a'." She answered, which caused Harry to look at her with confusion. He was normally good at interpreting what children meant when they didn't really know how to say things, but this was out of his expertise.

"Erm—" Harry got tongue tied over his words.

"Do you mean 'Hey There Delilah', Dora?" You stepped in for Harry, after silently chuckling at how lost he'd looked.

"Yes, yes, please." Dora excitedly nodded her head at you, before turning back to face Harry expectantly.

"Oh okay." Harrys face was one of sudden realisation, winking at you in thanks for helping, before he started playing the infamous melody. "Hey there Delilah, what's it like in New York City..."

•••••

For the longest time all you could think about was the dreams of becoming a dancer.

You had ballet and tap classes when you were little, probably up until you were twelve years old, and then you decided it was uncool to dance anymore and so quit. You were really good though, so it was stupid of you to have quit. It didn't matter though because Rodger would've just made you quit anyways.

That's why on another particular, late, Friday afternoon you found yourself on the green roof of the school. Up here was your safe space - where you knew you were out of reach from Rodger, but also away from the watching eyes of staff and students.

It was a place to feel free.

You took care of the plants up here for the caretaker, Mike, knowing he had enough on his hands already than to take extra care of these greens. It was a personal garden of eden paradise up here. You were very proud of it. You'd come up here, this afternoon, to water the plants, but the rain showers had decided that they'd do it for you today - not that you were complaining because it saved you a job.

You were under a small sheltered area of the roofed area, attending to your nursery of baby plants, containing sunflowers, roses and tulips to name but a few, on the other side of the roof to the door. You had The 1975s music playing in the background, wanting to fill the void of emptiness with soul-filling music. It had started to rain when you were on the other side of the roof and now you were contemplating waiting the rain out. You did have to be downstairs in time for Rodger to pick you up though, otherwise it wouldn't end well.

"Y/N?" You heard your name called across the roof and you had to squint a bit to see who it was through the pellets of rain.

"Harry?" You asked back, checking it was him and your eyes weren't deceiving him.

"What are you doing out here?" He shouted, from where he was stood protected under the frame of the door. He had his arm over his eyes to stop the rain from blowing in to them.

"Gardening." You replied.

"Of course you are." Harry muttered under his breath, but you swore you heard every syllable as it was carried in the wind.

"Come look." You gestured your arm for him to come and have a look at your babies. You plants were currently fertilising and producing their own children, and you though there was something so organically beautiful about watching it. They were so delicate, yet so clever - which you felt resembled you in way and Harry would strongly agree.

Harry ran over to you, not taking a second to question how drenched he was about to become. If it meant he got to spend some extra time with you, putting an extra smile on your face then he would run in the rain all of the time. He felt blessed to have moments like this with you.

"I can't believe I just ran through the bastard rain just to see your plants." Harry rolled his eyes when he was next to you.

"Well thank you, I guess." You laughed, taking in his drowned rat appearance. He pulled it off nicely actually.

"Yeah, too right." Harry sarcastically added, making you sport a harmless smile.

The music cut to the next song and you instantly gasped. It was your favourite song of all time. It was a very sad song, but one that you related to on a lot of levels. You felt as if the musician was speaking out to you solely, which is why it was crowned your number one.

The Most Beautiful Things - Tenille Townes

You didn't say anything but just grabbed Harry's hand and ran out into the rain with him.

"Y/N? What the fu—"

"Oh shut up and live a little Harry." You told him off, not wanting him to ruin this moment with his wingeing. You kept ahold of his hand and pulled him closer than you both thought professional. His chest was touching yours and you could hear his heart beat through his chest.

"What are you up to?" Harry asked, absolutely soaked through from the rain now. No doubt you looked even worse than him because of your longer hair.

"We're going to dance." You proudly stated, the raindrops coating your eyelids.

"Oh I don't think so." Harry attempted to pull away but not so hard that he'd pull you over with him. Part of him didn't pull too hard, as well, because he wanted to dance and embarrass himself in front of you. He knew of your passion for dance and anything that he did was going to be shameful compared to you.

"Just come here. I'll lead. It'll be fine." You assured him, knowing that everyone had a little rhythm in them somewhere. He was a musician, also, so surely he knew how to feel the beat and go with the flow.

He was a terrible dancer.

You'd seen bad dancers and then there was Harry. He had two left feet, no doubt about it, but he tried bless him. Normally it was custom for the gentleman to lead the woman, but this time it was the other way round. You didn't mind and Harry didn't either. He was enjoying being near you, whilst he watched you enjoy yourself dancing.

The waltz wasn't an easy dance, but you'd never met someone who couldn't get the hang of it as much as Harry didn't. It was endearing, really.

"I haven't danced in so long, this is amazing!" You laughed, swallowing down some raindrops as you spoke.

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself - even if I have probably broken just about every bone in your foot." Harry was laughing because you were, feeling terribly awful for stepping on your feet so much. A few minor bruises were, wrongly, not that important nowadays.

"No you haven't," you rolled your eyes before smirking, "you've just broken the left ones." You cleverly replied, knowing that he'd been stepping on your left foot more than your right.

"Oh god, don't tell me that." He shook his head, feeling even worse than he had before - although he knew that you were only messing with him he still couldn't help but feel bad. Maybe he should offer you some ice for your feet?

"Just need a bit more practice, that's all." You tell him, after coughing from a mouthful of accidental rainwater.

"Well I already have a good teacher." Harry was quick to respond, and if you knew better you would've caught on that he was flirting with you. You missed his subtle hint at a second, or even a third, dance lesson with you, but he wasn't too disheartened because he knew you were just that blindingly oblivious.

You looked up at him in awe of his words. It meant a lot to you to be told you were a good teacher, because that in turn meant you were a good dancer. You were looking deep in to Harrys eyes, finding them the most beautiful emerald gems that you'd ever had the pleasure of seeing. Rodgers were supposed to be green, but you never saw them for anything other than a terrifying black so it was nice to see the green again - even it was on someone different. Harry's shone brighter than Rodger's ever could. The rain trickling over his eye lids helped reflect that jade green that you were so infatuated with.

His lips were so entrancing.

You took your eyes off his hypnotic eyes for only a second to look at his lips, and now you couldn't look away. They were like a drug. They looked liked the softest, most sweetest tasting, lips you'd ever been lucky enough to see. You leant in slowly, his lips having an invisible magnetic pull on them that you couldn't escape. You were so close that you could taste his minty breath on the tips of your tastebuds. You couldn't care less about Rodger in that moment, knowing he would never know, but you did care about Harry.

You cared for him a lot, which is why after ghosting his lips for a little while you were thankful that your phone vibrated in your pocket. You closed your eyes in regret of not taking it any further with Harry, but knowing it was the right thing to do. Wasn't it?

"Excuse me a moment." You felt guilty for cutting Harry off mid-dance, and near-kiss, even though he said that is was perfectly fine, still standing amidst the torrential rain, but this was probably important. In fact you knew it was important, because the only contact on your phone was Rodger. You took it out and read it carefully.

Rodger: Going to the pub now. Get ready for it bad later.

You cursed yourself for being so stupid. This morning Rodger had threatened you, again, that he wouldn't go easy on you if you were later - and now that's exactly what you were. How had you let yourself so carelessly slip up? Of course you wouldn't have changed a moment of what just happened with Harry, even if it meant your abuse would be less. The time spent with Harry was something you really cherished and you weren't willing to give up your source of happiness just yet.

"What is it? Everything okay?" Harry asked, noticing how your face had paled since reading your phone.

"Just my husband telling me he's coming home soon. I should probably get going." You told Harry, feeling bad that you were just leaving him after such a wonderful afternoon. He made you feel alive through the dark days. He brought light to the endlessly inky tunnel. He added that bit of sparkle in your monotonous life.

"Oh, yeah, no problem." Harry nodded, standing back to create a bit of distance between you. The air felt a bit thicker from the tension that both of you were creating.

"Thanks for dancing with me, Harry." You genuinely smiled at him, because he had managed to make you feel carefree for the first time in a long while. It was rare nowadays for you to have a joyous moment in your life, but instead it was filled with fists to the jaw, scratches to the skin and kicks to the gut.

"Thanks for the dance lesson." He responded, laughing as he remembered how terribly he had just danced. You were surprised he hadn't broken and ankle or a wrist with the way he had been moving his limbs. He was like an elegant spider, is the best way you could describe it.

"Rain-check?" You asked mischievously, looking down at your soaked through sun-dress.

"Think it's a little late for that now, love." Harry let out a bellowing laugh as you had spoken, before answering with his own witty comeback.

"At least you aren't walking home in it." You joked, holding open the door for him to let you both back inside the building. You didn't expect him to be so closely following, but it felt nice. Rodger, although being physically close to you when he was mistreating you, never was actually close to you. He never hugged you. He never held you close at night. He was just there. Having Harry so close to you, in an affectionate way, was a warm feeling that you wished could last forever.

"Hold on. You're walking home in this?" Harry stopped you suddenly by grabbing lightly on your arm. He had placed his hand so tactically though. He had placed it between two, rather large, bruises on your upper arm. You didn't understand how he'd missed both of them, but he had. Even when he held you though, it was very soft that it wouldn't be leaving any marks of his own.

"Don't remind me! But yes." You answered, rolling your eyes to the heavens for letting your days always turning out the worst.

"Absolutely not." Harry scrunched his face up in disgust.

"W-what?" You stuttered, thinking you'd made him angry and your mind automatically working out the worst situation that could happen here. You were pissed at yourself for even thinking that Harry would harm you in such a way, but it was unfortunately just how your mind was wired now.

"I'm going to drive you home. I'm not letting you walk home in these showers - no way." He commented. pointing to the window where you could barely see 10 metres because of how heavy the rain was. You were about to argue with him about how you would be "fine", but he beat you to it. "And i'm not taking no for an answer."

He smugly walked off towards the teachers staff room. You were left stunned for a moment before realising that he'd been so kind to offer you a ride home. You ran down the corridor, trying to catch up with him, before accidentally slipping from your wet heels and going flying down on to the floor. It shocked you at first, rolling on to your side to groan to try and ease the winded parts of your body.

Harry must've heard you thump on the floor because you could hear his shoes running back to you, whilst trying not to slip himself.

"Y/N!" He shouted, not being able to see your face to know if you were even conscious. You immediately felt his knees at your side, probably apprehensive of touching you incase you were severely hurt. "Y/N, shit, can you hear me? Y/N/N, hey?" You could hear the panic in your voice and you started to feel sorry for him.

That's when you rolled back onto your back laughing. You had been silently chuckling to yourself the entire time, finding the humour in such an embarrassing situation. Now you felt bad for Harry who had actually been concerned for you.

You couldn't stop laughing and Harry looked stunned.

"You little—" Harry started but never finished, wiping his top lip in frustration. When you didn't stop laughing though it began to become contagious and Harry was soon laughing too.

"I'm sorry!" You continued to laugh through your words.

"You're such an ass." Harry shook his head, holding out a hand for you to take in order to get you back to your feet.

"Yes, a definite bruised ass." You agreed, adding a compulsory, and very truthful, adjective in there. Harry didn't give you any visible sympathy, though, because he was pretending to be pissed off at you for pranking him. In reality you were too winded and caught up in the giggles to realise how concerned you'd made Harry.

"Well let's get you and your bruised ass home." He held onto your hand as he lead you down the hallway to get changed, before going to his car to head home.

•••••

After much deliberation on the way here, you'd decided that you were going to invite Harry to come inside. Your only problem was if Rodger came home early. You knew he would be at the pub right now, boozing himself up for later on when he comes home and treats you to his fist. If you ever accidentally missed his curfews or deadlines your punishment would ten times worse - and so with that thought in mind you needed someone to be with you right now.

Not just anyone though - just Harry.

"Please come in and try to make yourself as comfortable as possible." You say, knowing full well that it would be impossible for him to do so.

"Oh I don't need to intrude, Y/N. Just needed to make sure you got back okay." Harry spoke from outside your front door. His hands were stuffed in his pockets to keep them toasty warm from the cold - which wasn't helped by the fact you'd just danced in the rain. You could already see his little button nose turning pink from the icy weather.

"You're not intruding, Harry. In fact, I could do with the company right now." You kept latched to the door, not shutting it until he was inside your property. He could tell, from the shakiness of your voice, that you needed him and he was more than willing to be there for you.

It was very dark inside your house, only having one or two lights you could turn on because Rodger was very adamant on keeping the electricity bill low- mainly so he had money left over at the end of the month to pay for drugs or cigarettes. Alcohol he would just ask you for any money you had left in your purse. You wished you could use that money to spend on a dance class down the road, or even treat yourself to that pretty summer dress, but instead it was wasted on Jack Daniels or Disaronno.

"Your house is... sweet?" Harry asked rather than stated, as he made his way inside, making you laugh at him because you knew he was lying.

"It's a pig sty, Harry, is what you meant to say." You spoke for him, which earned a laugh back out of him.

"What?" Harry dragged out the word sarcastically, moving to follow you around the house. You stepped in to the lounge warily, just in case Rodger had decided to make a surprise appearance home. You let out a relieved sigh to not see him in his usual arm chair.

"Please." You pointed to one of the more comfortable sofas, not wanting him the displeasure of having him sit down where the springs would bounce beneath your bottom. They were so uncomfortable, but that's all you can afford when your monthly income is spent on illegal substances.

"Thanks." He smiled the best he could, given he was quite literally in the shittiest shithole to ever exist. From the outside he was prepared to be impressed, if not even a little jealous, but those were far from the feelings he was surrounded by right now. His main feelings were weighted towards his sorriness for you. You deserved so much more than this.

"Apologies for the exercise books everywhere." You were behind on marking the kids books, but you were planning on doing it later on tonight - after Rodger was done with you.

"I'm exactly the same, don't worry about it." He chuckled back.

After sitting in silence for a moment or two you noticed a small book in his pocket, only big enough to fit in there. It was tattered and had various drawings on the skin of it. He'd definitely had it a while and then some years. You wished that you'd kept a diary throughout your years, you'd be able to look back in the future and see whether life had changed. You hoped it would change, because you didn't think you had it in you to live many more years in this life.

"What's the notebook for?" You asked, trying to start up the conversation again.

"Oh... it's nothing." Harry fumbled to choose his words, which made you believe he was hiding something - a technique you were well aware of because you used it all the time. You'd hidden many things from Rodger using that technique.

"Harry," you gave him a sarcastic look, "come on." You laughed, not understanding what was so secretive about it. Maybe it was a book of his daily calorie intake? Maybe it was just a general diary? Maybe, but hopefully unlikely, it was a list of people he'd murdered? For someone who didn't watch the TV, you sure were paranoid of the fantasy malarky.

"Y/N honestly, it's nothing." Harry sighed, trying his hardest to shove it away so you'd have one less reason to think about.

"Harry. It seriously can't be that bad." You rolled your eyes at him to catch him gulp nervously. He looked like he'd seen a ghost, making you feel a lot more paranoid than you had been two seconds ago.

"You don't need to know what's in it." Harry explained cautiously, choosing his words carefully. His secrecy and closed off behaviour reminded you a lot of Rodger. Rodger would never give you a straight answer, and you were never allowed to know anything more than he let you. You didn't know anything more about his side of the family since you last saw them at your wedding. You knew nothing about the bills that were being paid for the house and taxes. Rodger was completely restrictive of the knowledge he gave you and you only prayed that Harry wouldn't be the same.

Harry was nothing like Rodger, though.

"No Harry. I-I want to know what's in it." You shakily pointed towards the little notebook, starting to tear up now, that he'd tried to stuff back in his pocket away from your view. "Please."

"Y/N I don't think that—" Harry tried to reason with you, but he knew better than for you to give up that easily. You were a fighter and that was something he greatly admired about you.

"Just l-let me see." You lurched across the sofa towards him and grabbed the little leather bound book from his pockets. He hadn't managed to push it all the way back in, so it made it easier for you to take. Technically this was stealing and invading someones privacy, but you had a gut feeling that the contents of the book had something to do with you. You didn't know whether that settled you or made you feel uneasy, but you were going to find out.

"Y/N—" Harry sighed, giving up on trying to fight against you.

It was time for you to know that he knew. It was time for this to end. It was time.

You sat in silence as you cautiously opened the book, undoing the small straw tie there was to open it. Your shaky hands stumbled upon opening it, making you drop it on to the floor and ended up with you mumbling an apology to Harry - something you knew was unnecessary but had gotten in to the habit of because of Rodger.

You turned to the first page and were met with something you were slightly taken aback by, not because it outrageous but because it was unexpected. Harry had kept the little medal that you, and Hallie, had drawn and coloured for him. The little badge that told him that he was both your heroes - well, he was definitely yours.

"You kept it?" You asked quietly, your tears falling more silently now, dumbfounded that he'd kept it.

"Of course I did. You told me I was your hero so obviously I had to keep the badge as proof." He smiled and spoke as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Then why is it in your notebook?" You asked, still in love with the fact he'd kept such, what you believed to be, and insignificant piece of coloured-in paper. You looked from the piece of paper to Harry, frowning when you noticed the sadness within his eyes.

"I use it as a bookmark." He gulped, making you feel heavy amount of nerves weigh on your shoulders.

"F-for what?" You hiccuped over your words. He didn't respond, letting you find out for yourself.

He looked down at the book and you could see tears start to form in his eyes. He looked scared, even more than you probably did, which worried you. You turned your watery eyes towards the notebook, preparing to turn the page. You let out a shaky breath and felt Harry move closer to you - your kneecap now touching his. The paper felt delicate between your fingers - kind of how you were feeling, as if you touched it too hard it would fall apart. Then you finally turned the page, letting a frown settle on your face as you read it to tried and understand.

Monday 9th January

You first read; the day in which you went back to school after the Christmas holidays.

•Limping - could be pulled muscle or maybe twisted ankle? •Slight bruising on lower forearm •Scratch on side of neck

It was beginning to make sense what Harry was keeping a note of.

•Sore throat - potentially from shouting?? •Total smiles = IIII.          

You couldn't read anymore because you had started sobbing without realising. Harry was keeping a check on how you were every day and every single thing he could pin down that was not okay with you. He wasn't picking out your physical flaws, but instead your physical mistreatment. He knew and you hadn't said anything to him. You'd only read one entry, but you were sure there was one for every day - including today. You needed to truly know.

"H-how many?" You choked out, your sobs coming out heavy and loud. You noticed how Harry was now cradling you, rocking you back and forth. Your mind was in so many places that you were having a hard time focusing in on what was presently happening around you.

You felt safe though. His arms made you feel protected, like if Rodger now walked through the door, which was still a possibility, you would be perfectly fine. For once, you felt safe in your own home and that feeling alone made you emotional. Not in years had you felt this way and you didn't want the feeling to ever go away.

"Y/N I—"

"Harry, p-please." You cut him off, not wanting him to tiptoe around the subject. You'd let your guard down and you right now you were completely defenceless.

"There's two years worth of entires." Harry boldly stated, making you cry even more. You weren't crying because you were offended or angry at Harry. You weren't even crying because he'd known and hadn't reached out to you, because you knew that you would've never told him the truth. You were crying, however, because he was making you realise how much you'd been through and how long you'd suffered for. You were tired - so tired - and it took you seeing what was happening, written down on paper, for you to come to terms with that.

You couldn't do anything but cry. You finally had someone who knew and it felt amazing. All those sleepless nights wondering whether you'd even be alive in the morning. All those days when you'd thought about ending it yourself. All those days when you cried until you felt numb, just to soften the pain. All those days, were over. You knew Harry wouldn't let this carry on now - not over his dead body.

"You're okay." "You're safe." "I've got you." Were some of the phrases that Harry kept on repeating to you. He was adamant on helping you understand that nothing bad was going to come of you now that you had him by your side.

"I-i'm so-rry Ha—"

"Hey, no, no. I don't need an apology Y/N/N. I need you to be okay, okay? I need you understand that none of this is your fault. None of it. You are so special Y/N/N and you don't deserve any of this, okay? I need you to understand that I can no longer sit back and do nothing, but write in my notebook anymore, though, okay?" He spoke a lot of words and you found it within you to listen to every one of them. Some of them made your cry harder than others and some of them made you love him more than you already did.

"What d-do I do?" You asked, still buried against Harrys chest. He was still rocking you gently and kissing the top of your hair occasionally, reminding you that he was permanently here.

"You don't have to do anything, love, but just walk a little for me, okay?" He asked to which you nodded, letting a bunch of hiccups overtake your system momentarily.

"W-what if Ro-dger i-is—"

"Then i'm here. He won't come within a metre of you if I have anything to do with it. I promise." He pulled your head out of his chest and made you look at him, so you'd know that he was honest about protecting you with everything he had.

"O-okay." You nodded, weakly smiling in thanks of everything he was doing.

"Okay." Harry agreed. You shakily stood up, holding on to Harrys arm for support. Your body was so tired and you could feel your brain wanting to shut everything down so you could rest. You just had to keep everything going for a few more minutes and then you could finally let up. The idea of a warm, plush, bed with blankets to spare, right now, was all your heart was set on.

Harry took his arm around your waist to carefully walk you out of the house. You no longer wanted to label it as 'your house', because in reality it never had been and it never felt like it. You were ready to move from this shithole and on to something better.

After making it to Harrys car he strapped your seat belt in and made sure you were comfortable. He asked whether you needed or wanted anything from the house, but you explained that never had been anything there of yours. It was all crap furniture that you'd never want to see again and it wasn't like you'd been anywhere to keep ahold of souvenirs. You just needed your handbag and yourself. Harry made quick work of locking the house door and then running back to the car to get going.

"Can I-I sleep now?" You asked, pulling your jacket tighter around you, as Harry put his car in to reverse.

"Yes, love, you can sleep now."

The last memory you had was Harry pushing your hair out of your face before blacking out, feeling nothing but out of harm's way.

•••••

Harrys house was beautiful and you were glad you'd woken up in time to see it.

It was a little terraced house on a quaint road. The beautiful thing about the houses were they were painted in all different colours of the pastel rainbow. It started off as a soft-cherry red that lead into an apricot orange, that lead into a sherbet yellow, that continued all the way to a lavender. They definitely lived up to the name of the street they lived on "Rainbow Road". You thought it was genius.

Just before you were going to ask which one belonged to Harry he pulled up outside the sherbet yellow one. You would've guessed him to live in the apricot orange, but you were happily surprised. The yellow was a nice pick-me-up, filling you with so much joy you could burst.

"Wow." You gawked at the house from the insides of the car. You were expecting a four bedroom house with white picket fencing, maybe even a secret wife that he kept very, very, secret, but no. Harry lived in a smaller house than you, walls coated in a gentle lemon and in a neighbourhood that seemed as soft, and calm, as Harry was.

It was simply put; quite serene.

"You like it?" Harry asked, nervous tones in his voice. He hoped it was something a little brighter than you were used to.

"Harry, it's so charming," you turned your head from the house towards him, making him look right back at you, "a lot like its owner really." You blushed when you spoke, not having a clue where your confidence had come from.

"Oh really? Want to butter me up any more, love?" He teased you, taking your compliment and planting it permanently inside his mind. You'd called him charming and he would never shut up about it until the ends of time.

"N-no." You let out between giggles. You were at peace with yourself in this moment.

"You sure? I mean, i'll take all the compliments I can get to be honest." He put his hands up in defence, and you sat back to watch him own the moment. You rolled your eyes at his narcissism, before moving to let yourself out of the car. Harry followed swiftly, locking up his car before unlocking his front door.

After he'd turned the alarm off, he waited for you to enter before locking back up and ridding himself of his shoes. His house was quite chilly, which he apologised for as a result of leaving the heating off during the day when he's at work. You had no quarrel with that, finding his passion for the global green very considerate.

"Come through, please. I can put the kettle on if you want and maybe a biscuit of some kind. I have ginger nuts or custard creams if they appeal to you," whilst Harry took himself through to the kitchen you couldn't help but freeze up in the hallway, getting all teary eyed, "I have to say though my favourite biscuit would probably be—" Harry stopped when he walked back to see you crying. His heart dropped at the sight. Of course seeing anybody cry is a horrible sight to witness, but seeing you crew was almighty worse.

"Sorry, Harry," you shook your head in embarrassment, "it's just i'm quite overwhelmed at how lovely you are and the support you're willing to give me and it's all just quite a lot, sorry." You rambled, letting a few stray tears fall. If there were a competition for who could cry the most in 24 hours, you would win first place and then some more.

"Hey, no, it's completely fine. I should have been more sensitive, I apologise. We can just go and sit on the couch for a bit if you want?" He offered, not wanting you to feel pressured at all.

"Yeah, that sounds nice." You nodded, mentally reminding yourself to stop giving reasons for Harry keeping on apologising to you - even if it was nice to hear someone else for someone else doing it, other than you, for once.

He lead you in to his living room, hand in hand, and you were taken aback by how wonderful it was in there. The room was rectangular, with the TV placed in the corner of the room next to the bay window. The bay window was covered in blankets and cushions, with adjacent floating shelves that contained tens of classic reads. The sofas were a luxurious velvet blue and it made the room feel expensive. The sapphire of the couches brought out the colour in the grey floor you didn't even know existed. The fireplace was classically built, wood burner and all. The room was on the small side, but it made it all the more homely. It was a delicious delight.

"It's not much, but it's home you know?" Harry felt like he had to apologise for it being lesser than your previous house. In reality, you adored his much more.

"Harry it's stunning. I'm jealous that it's yours and not mine." You couldn't keep your eyes away from the room, finding new things to be mesmerised by.

"It's yours too now." Harry proudly stated, making you shoot your head to him in shock. Of course you thought that you'd be living with Harry for a little while before you could get yourself back on your own feet, but you didn't expect him to share it with you like how he was suggesting. He noticed your expression and thought he'd overstepped a line, "I-if you want?"

You couldn't help but let out a little flurry of sobs, stopping yourself before it turned in to a bigger breakdown.

"Sorry! I'm being silly. It's just been a long time since i've been this happy in a house." You shook your head at your own silliness.

"No, no. It's not silly at all. I don't understand, but you could help me to if you want to?" Harry wanted to give you a way to tell someone your story. He wanted you to feel safe in opening up to someone, anyone.

"Yeah. I'd really like that, please." You quietly agreed.

"Okay. Let me just turn the heating on and then i'll be right back. Please just make yourself comfortable." He didn't want to tell you to make yourself at home because he knew you already felt it. He was honoured to be the someone you wanted to open up to, but even more proud of you for being strong enough to want to talk.

"Perfect."

•••••

After a couple of hours just crying to Harry, letting him learn of everything that had happened the past couple of years, you finally got the strength to get up off the couch and make a cuppa.

You'd told Harry everything - not a detail left out. He deserved to understand what your life had been like, considering he was doing so much to help you out. Harry really had been your knight in shining armour. Harry had to stop you sometimes to rant about how much he despised Rodger, which you found quite hilarious. You were pretty sure that he popped a blood vessel on his neck because of how passionately angry he got. You had to calm him down sometimes by holding his hand, squeezing it to reassure him that you were safe now.

Now you were messing around having a tea competition.

Harry claimed his cups of tea were the best in the Northern Hemisphere and he was very willing for you to challenge him on that. You made your cup of tea, for him, and he made his, for you. You hated to admit it but his cuppa was extraordinary - but you were a very sore loser so you couldn't tell him that. He knew though by the way you downed the whole mug in less than five minutes. He was worried that you'd burn your throat but you were very adamant on downing the whole drink.

The warmth and comfort of the hot drink reminded you a lot of Harry.

"Harry?" You asked, putting your empty mug in the sink to wash later.

"Yes, Y/N?" Harry responded, mouth full of ginger-nut biscuit. A little cloud of biscuit poofed from his mouth as he spoke, which he blushed in embarrassment over.

"Can I have a look through your notebook please?" You held your hand out to wait for him to deliver you the notebook. You knew he would eventually give it you, but you weren't sure whether he would give it to you so soon - not wanting you to step on a wound that was still very open.

"You sure you want to? I can keep it until you're ready?" He checked to make sure. If you believed you were ready then he wasn't going to stop you, but only be there for you if you get upset.

"I'm sure. I promise I wouldn't ask if I didn't think it was right to." You nodded in assurance, wiggling your fingers in gesture for him to hand it over to you. He nodded and smiled in response, before pulling out the book from his coat that was hanging over the back of a chair. He did it all one handed, still holding his cup of tea in the other - the cup of tea which you were upset that he'd given 2 Michelin stars to.

"Okay." He warmly smiled at you before standing back to let you go through the book in your own time.

You worked your way through every page, wincing when you saw some pages filled entirely with tally marks. There was never a day where there was no tally marks and that made you deep how insane it had actually been. Looking at this from the outside, now, was a challenging perspective to wrap your head around. You never understood the gravity of the situation until you stood back and peered in from the outside. Harry's book, however unsettling it was, comforted you in knowing that there had been someone there for you when you believed otherwise. He was your silent guardian angel.

Flicking through the book you finally reached todays page. You read down it and were impressed by how right Harrys tallies had been. He'd correctly scored the right amount of bruises and even annotated where he thought they were. It was a weird talent, but he sure had it.

Deciding that the page was incomplete you grabbed a nearby pen from the side, unfortunately it was a different colour to the one already on the page, and made a simple adjustment to the writing. You even underlined it. Once finished, you held the page away from you and smiled at how content you were now.

You handed it back to Harry with the biggest smile you, and him, had ever seen on your face. You almost looked mischievous.

"What did you do?" He asked accusingly, setting his tea on the table to see what damage had been done.

"Needed to update it." You simply put it, expressing a softer smile now.

You watched as Harry read over the pages, trying to figure out what you'd done. He flipped right to the end, thinking you'd most likely have written something on the most recent pages. He turned all the way to the back, where fifty blank pages remained, but there was nothing. He turned to the front, and nothing. The next guess he turned to todays date.

Tuesday 10th November

He skimmed the page looking for what was different - if anything. He quickly glanced over to you and he saw you smirking, which was a sign that he was getting close to figuring it out. He couldn't look at you and not internally comment about how beautiful you looked. You were a sight for sore eyes and nothing less.

Then he looked at the end of the page and it made sense.

•Total smiles = III

You'd tallied your own smile.

Harrys eyes started to water. He was so unbelievably proud of you. He could already see that you'd come so far and it had been a matter of hours since you left that god forbidden house. It was going to a very gradual process but he couldn't be more proud of you if he tried. You shot up out of your chair when he started to cry, though, thinking that you'd done something wrong.

"Harry i'm sorry. I can buy you a new book if I ruined it. I can—"

"You didn't ruin anything, love. I'm just... I'm just happy that you're happy. I've waited a long time to see you like this." He came to hold you close, noticing how you didn't even flinch when he came near you. You were improving by the second and it was a wonder to watch.

"I've waited a long time to feel like this." You admitted, looking past his teary eyes to see hope hidden behind the water. To hear Harrys compliments was something quite touching. Not having heard any compliments from your, said, husband for years had been a challenging setback, but one that you'd go through all again if it meant you got to hear Harry say all these wonderful things. "It's like, sometimes the pain gets hard, but now you're here and I don't feel a thing."

He took an extra step towards you, cautiously bringing his hand up to place upon your cheek and lower jaw. As soon as he felt you melt in to his hand, humming at the blissful warm feeling against your skin, he traced his thumb back and forth against the softness of your cheek. He brought a calmness to your life that you never realised was missing and it made you grateful to finally have it.

He made you feel home again.

You were so thankful for everything Harry had done for you. He'd silently opened you up into sharing your story. He'd always have been the one to make you smile, even on your worst days. He'd never given up on you. He'd offered up his house to you until you figured out what you wanted to do next. He'd cared for you on all the days you never thought anyone did, with his little secret notebook. He'd loved you for being you. He'd made you feel special on those days where Rodger would make you feel impossibly small. He'd done it all for you.

There wasn't enough ways for you to display your gratitude towards him. You could take him out to as many meals, buy him as many X-Box games, treat him to as many football games that your money could stretch to buy, but it would never be enough compared to what he'd done for you.

"Hey, you okay? You look lost in daydream land?" Harrys voice brought you back from your intense thoughts and back to him.

"Just thinking that i'm never going to be able to thank you enough for all this." You told him exactly what was on your mind, because he was actually someone who would listen to you. As you spoke you carefully brushed a fallen curl back behind his ear, and kept your fingers dancing around there in order to keep you focused.

"You don't need to Y/N/N. You've given me everything already." His words caught your attention, because they weren't true. You hadn't given him everything.

You hadn't given him you.

"Well what about me?" You asked, curious to know if he would take you if you were offering.

"And what about you, love?" He asked, smiling at you for an answer. He wanted you to explain what you meant before he answered under the wrong impression. You two knew there was an undying romantic tension between you both, but neither of you had ever brought it up because you were married and he was too out of your league - or so you thought.

"What if I gave you me? What if you were mine and I were yours?" You shyly asked, bracing for the rejection he was bound to give you - until he didn't.

"Then I would be the luckiest man alive." He answered so simply, yet so effectively. "In fact, I really hope that you don't run from me."

"Really?" You asked, shocked that he felt the same way. He had been shocked too to hear you offer yourself in to a relationship, and so soon after just slipping out of an abusive one. You were positive that you were going to need counselling, of some kind, in order to build back up the walls Rodger had so disgracefully bulldozed down. You needed to become more emotionally stable before venturing too far in to any new relationships, you accepted that, but you were willing to seriously consider being with Harry - if he'd have you.

"Really, really." He nodded enthusiastically.

"I don't want to rush in to it, though, because I don't think that would be fair on you. I'm still a long way from emotionally recovering, but if you're willing to wait then I promise to be there waiting too." You explained the best way you could, hoping that he would understand the concept of what you're trying to convey. He knew you weren't ready and he was okay with that.

"I've always been waiting, love." He replied and that was enough for you both to know that things would be alright from now on.

••••••

It took you a while, but you were finally at your happiest.

You were taught believe that home was the house you grew up in. It was the neighbourhood and the architecture that stood within it. What you weren't taught is that home can also be a person, and your person was Harry.

Three months after spending every day with that ray of sunshine, he asked you to be his girlfriend. It had taken a lot for you to get to that point but you were so ready for the next chapter. He'd asked you so casually that some may not even have thought he was being serious, but to you it was exactly the way you envisioned it to be - watching "Educating Manchester" with a bowl of ramen noodles to share between the two of you. It was so minimalistic and you loved him for it.

Neither of you had specifically said that you loved each other yet, but it was blaringly obvious that you did.

Over time Harry helped you find family members and old friends, helping you stitch back together the individual patches of your life back together and create the beautiful blanket it once was. None of it would be possible without Harry and you were so blessed to be able to call him yours.

Rodger had tried to come get you multiple times. He'd hung around outside the school a few times and had even turned up to Harrys house once. It was scary and you wanted it to stop. Harry has gone livid when he found him on his doorstep, having to really hold himself back from tearing him limb from limb for the sake of you and your mental recovery.

"If you ever fucking come near my house or my girl ever again, I swear it won't be pretty, man." Harry was grinding his teeth together, doing everything in his power from keeping this anything more than a verbal fight.

"You fucking threatening me, pal?" Rodger spat, quite literally, in Harrys face - something you were quite accustomed to.

"Listen to what I said and then I won't be." Harry bargained, which you were so proud of him for keeping as calm as he was. You could tell he was raging though, ready to pounce on something.

"I ain't taking no orders from you." Rodger piped back, pushing Harrys shoulder back slightly. That infuriated you. You knew first hand of what this man could do with his fists and you would do anything to stop Harry from experiencing the same things you did. You loved him with every bone in your body and you'd rather wish yourself ill than watch him get hurt. So you stepped in, from where Harry'd had you stood behind him to protect you.

"Y/N—" Harry started, but stopped when he knew you were fully capable of fighting your own battles. Plus he was right next to you if you needed him, unlike all the times he hadn't been.

"Ah there she is, my little bitch." Rodger laughed, displaying his ugly smile he had the misfortune of owning.

You felt Harrys fists curl and you slid your hand in between his fingers to calm him. Your touch made him feel relaxed, you knew this, so you used it to your advantage. Harry let out a slight animalistic growl when Rodger spoke to you, but nothing more. He knew you could handle this.

"Rodger you are not invited here. This isn't your property and you've been asked to leave multiple times. If you don't leave within the next minute i'm calling the police. That's not a threat, that's a promise." Harry doubt o squeezed your hand to let you know you were handling this amazing well, especially mentally. He only wished he was half as strong as you.

"Ooh she's finally got the balls to stand up for herself. Is that because Mr Harry—"

He quickly shut up when he saw you'd just dialled 999. You weren't afraid of him like it used to be. There would always be that trauma any time you see him, but you were getting stronger against him which only made him weaker.

"This isn't over." Rodger angrily stomped his foot like a child, only making you internally snicker.

"It is and you'll soon come to realise that." You smiled and nodded your head towards the main road. He snarled at you before walking away, knowing he couldn't put up a fight against either of you anymore.

When the door closed you let out such a sigh of relief. You rested your forehead against the front door, in peace knowing Rodger was nowhere around to hurt you and you'd successfully stood up to him. If there was any a time for champagne and party poppers it was now, but you guy something ever better.

Warm lips pressed against the cold of your neck.

"Hmm." You sighed in content and pleasure.

"You were so hot just then." Harry stated, which is not where you thought this conversation would turn to. You expected him to start talking about how proud he was of you and then start talking about how you were long-term going to deal with that asshole. Instead, he seemed very affectionate.

"You think?" You teased him, leaning your head to the side to allow him more access to your neck.

"So hot." And it didn't take a rocket scientist you decipher what you two did for the rest of the day.

Rodger hadn't been in contact since and it was now 5 months without him. 5 months clean, as you liked to label it.

You and Harry continued to live under his sherbet lemon home and work in the beloved school. The children knew that you were a couple and were always grossed out when they'd catch you holding hands or kissing , when you two thought no one was around. Hallie had even made another badge for Harry to have and it was a small heart with your name written inside, although it was not coloured in very well and your name had been spelt wrong it still managed to make Harry cry.

Life had an unfortunate way of turning out for many. For you, your unfortunate story had occurred at the beginning of your life. Now, you couldn't be happier. Life was a blessing and the people in it were even more so.

It had been a long journey to get to today, but now you could finally rest.

[lgbtsana]

OFF THE RECORD ; AHN YUJIN ONE-SHOT

you’ve been chatting with an online friend for about 2 years, you knew them as their alias ‘ahnz’, they never posted their face but you knew almost everything about them. but, did you really know what they were saying was true?

it’s been about two years since you turned to online friends instead of real life ones. the ones you made offline were just complete assholes. it was always when you needed your real life friends the most is when you realized how fake they were.

you’d call one of your friends, lim dahye, sobbing uncontrollably, begging for her to distract you from your parents fighting. yet, all you got on response from her, “sorry, who are you again?” while you heard giggles in the background. you had considered her a closest friend, but all you received was humiliation.

the closest friend you made throughout the two years online was ahnz. the only thing you knew about them was they were a year older than you and that they, or well she, was a girl.

you had given her a nickname “hannie” and you were happy to know that she thought the nickname was cute and that she liked it.

the more the two of you talked, the closer you two got. you felt like you could trust her, although, you hadn’t met her in person. she just seemed different, not like the other people you had trusted before.

there was one night that your parents started to fight when you received a text from ahnz, you had nicknamed her in your phone as ‘hannie’ since the app you used, let you.

she had sent you a link to a girl group performance, the thumbnail had a girl with short hair poking her cheek. “she’s so pretty, her makeup looks amazing...” you spoke in awe.

you stood up to grab your wired earbuds, since you couldn’t afford wireless ones, and watched the performance. it was a very useful distraction from the fighting going on.

hannie: y/n, check out this video :o [link]

y/n: omg, they’re amazing performers!!

y/n: wish i was that good lol

hannie: don’t say that! i’m sure you’re amazing at it :(

y/n: i see their group name is ive, how do you pronounce that? like i’ve?

hannie: i hear people pronouncing it ivy or i’ve, i guess it’s a matter of preference? idk though

hannie: which member caught your eye?

y/n: hmm, the one with the short hair with bangs. she had so much charisma and just looked fierce! she’s so pretty~

after you’d sent that message, you realized ahnz went quiet. so, while you waited for a response, you decided to watch some more videos of the group she had sent you.

———

the next day, during class, you received a call from hannie. your teacher, mrs. lee, gave a stern look towards you. “no phone calls during class, miss seo.”

you nodded before answering the call, “sorry, mrs. lee. it’s... an emergency.” your quick answer made her give you a nod, “go out in the hall then, y/n.”

“hannie, what’s going on?” your concerned tone rung in her ears, “y/n, are you able to... meet up...?” she asked, her voice quiet.

“what?”

“are you able to meet up with me?”

the question hung on a string. a string that was about to snap clean in half. you felt your heartbeat increase as you weren’t sure what to answer. sure, you’ve talked to her for two years, but you’ve only thought about meeting up once.

you weren’t sure if you were ready to meet her.

“y/n?” her voice entered your senses again, making you gasp softly.

“ah, sorry-” you barely let out a whisper as you apologize quietly. “y/n, if you’re able to meet up, please come to 4-5, samseong-ro 146-gil, gangnam-gu, seoul. it should be nearby you, yeah?” you hum giving her the confirmation she needed.

“see you then, hannie.”

you walked back into class and all eyes were on you, “so?” your teacher stares you down, waiting for some kind of response.

“what?”

your teacher huffs in annoyance, “what was so important?” your thoughts quickly scramble to make up an excuse, “ah- my grandmother passed away.” you give off a weak smile to keep your act straight as your teachers eyebrows narrow.

“i thought your grandmother passed last year?” it was true, but you had an excuse up your sleeve, “that was on my mother’s side, the recent one is on my father’s.”

mrs. lee quickly gave an apology, which you accepted. she didn’t know it was a lie after all.

———

after your classes came to an end, you found yourself in front of the building that hannie suggest you meet up in. but, it was starship entertainment? you weren’t sure why she’d ask to meet up here.

you shrugged before hitting an intercom, that looked very high-tec. you watched as it lit up and noticed a very small camera, recording your presence outside.

“come in,” a female voice is heard thru the intercom as the fancy doors opened to let you in.

“oh- t-thank you...?” you struggled to sound genuine as you were still, very confused. just why did hannie want to meet here?

you hesitantly entered the tall building and nervously looked around. you felt you stood out against the rest, but not in a good way.

you felt very underdressed, everyone else looked as if they were wearing designer clothes (they probably were), you didn’t feel like you fit in.

a taller figure was approaching you with a smile and it felt like time slowed down as you took in their physique. she was nearly 6-feet tall, her smile was very charming, alluring. her hair was on the shorter side, seemed to be a wolfcut. she has a leather jacket on, seemed to be in the middle of recording something, but you weren’t totally sure.

she looked exactly like the female from the fancan video hannie had sent you. just what was hannie playing at?

“hello, are you y/n?” the tall female looked at you with the same charming smile she approached with. with a slow nod, you gave her the confirmation she needed.

“i can’t believe we’re finally meeting each other! my name is ahn yujin,” she leaned in to whisper in your ear, “you know me as hannie~” the teasing tone of her voice made you jolt back, surprised that the female was actually hannie.

“h-hannie?” your voice was failing you. the sudden surprise of learning she’s your closest online friend was big, you could barely let out your voice.

she gave a simple nod before saying, “you can call me yujin now!”. she reached for your wrist, making your pull it back without thinking.

her eyebrows furrowed and yujin looked down at the ground, “ah, i’m sorry. this must be a shock..”

you nodded, “very shocking, i mean i was just watching a fancam of you a few days ago.”

yujin let out a giggle, “i wanted to know your thoughts~” she lightly punched your arm with that same smile.

faking hurt, you grabbed your arm and yelped in pain, “you pain me, yujin!” you laughed, before noticing yujin was looking at you with wide-eyes.

“what?”

“you called me yujin this time,” her voice seemed filled with emotion. what emotion? you couldn’t read it.

you shrugged “you told me i could.”

yujin pulled you in for a tight bear hug, “this makes me so happy! i can’t wait to introduce you to the others~”

you smiled as you gave the same amount of strength into the hug, “already? we just met~” you teased as you received a pinch in response.

A/N: maybe there will be a part two? we shall find out in the future. i do like how this turned out, did you guys enjoy?

TAGS... idol!yujin x fan!reader, tooth-rotting fluff, light angst, online friends to irl friends to lovers, friends to lovers, reader becomes a fan of yujin after she introduces ive to them.

TAG LIST...

@zuritastic

[inevitably-johnlocked]

VALENTINE'S DAY FICS (Updated Feb 2024)

Well, I never got an ask for an updated list and I WAS going to reblog my own V-Day Fic list from a few years ago, but it's pitifully small compared to all the other lists I have come across. Instead, I decided to update it with all the fics I have on my MFL list as well, so I hope you guys enjoy this brand new list for Fic Rec Wednesday! Please add your own V-Day fics if you have them! Enjoy!!

See also these Other Peoples' Lists:

Valentine’s Day (Alexx)

Clean Valentine’s List (Alexx)

Mystrade Valentine’s (Various)

Cupidford’s Valentine’s Fics

Valentine’s Day + Update 2022 (SwissMiss)

Be my Valentine - Johnlock Collection (AO3 Collection List)

Atrium by kali_asleep (T, 3,460 w., 1 Ch. || 5 and One, Valentine’s Day, Fluff & Schmoop, First Kiss) – Five times Sherlock gave John his heart, and the one time Sherlock got a heart in return (literally).

Lingerie by Sexxica (E, 4,135 w., 1 Ch. || Valentine’s Day, Lingerie / Women’s Underwear, Mildly Public Masturbation, Picture Texting / Sexting, Bottomlock, Body Worship, Anal Sex / Fingering, Rimming, Orgasm Delay / Denial, Est. Rel.) – It's Valentines Day and Sherlock is taking John to Angelo's for dinner. Sherlock also happens to be wearing a garter belt, stockings and a rather small pair of women's underwear under his clothes. There's no dessert at Angelo's because John needs to get Sherlock home just as quickly as he can before they both lose their minds entirely.

How To Give Your Boyfriend Who Doesn't Know He's Your Boyfriend the Best Valentine's Day Ever by unicornpoe (T, 9,832 w., 1 Ch. || Valentine’s Day, Fluff and Crack, Soft Sherlock, POV Sherlock) – Sherlock is pretty sure that John Watson is his boyfriend. He's also pretty sure that John doesn't know it. But with a little help from a magazine, some friends, three crepes, five dates, one awesome CD, and a stalker van, John is bound to realize just in time for Valentine's Day.

MARKED FOR LATER

Hope is sweet by Lock_John_Silver (T, 2,977 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Parentlock with Rosie, Valentine’s Day, Developing Relationship, Pet Names, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss, Classical Music, Idiots in Love, Endearments, POV Sherlock) - Sherlock wants to be more than John’s best friend. Has wanted it for ages, truth be told. So, when Molly comes up with an idea, that to some extent involves three year old Rosie, Sherlock doesn’t hesitate.

Worth Its Weight by philalethia (E, 2,986 w., 1 Ch. || Sugar Daddy AU || PWP, Daddy Sherlock, Daddy Kink, Service Domination, Gift Giving, Unsafe Sex, Sex Toys) – “Remember,” John said, “when we talked about you not buying me extravagant things?” Basically: a little bit of Valentine's Day daddy kink. Part 2 of All the Rest 'Verse

The Importance of February 14th by cypress_tree (T, 3,156 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Humour, Valentine’s Day) – Sherlock was born on Valentine's Day. John doesn't know this and invites him out on a date. Sherlock assumes it's a birthday celebration and believes so right up until the moment John kisses him.

Dinner and a Murder by vintagelilacs (T, 4,210 w., 1 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting || Valentine’s Day, Online Dating, Mutual Pining, Confessions, Getting Together, POV John, Oblivious John) – Reluctant to spend Valentine’s Day alone, John joins a dating app only to realize he’s already living with the closest thing to a soulmate he’s ever going to get.

The Best Idea by SatanDrankMyCoffee (T, 7,252 w.,  5 Ch. || Valentine's Day, Bubble Bath, Hair Washing, People-Watching, Anxiety, Domestic Fluff/Bliss, Texting) – Gift giving is something Sherlock is usually quite good at but when the parameters change, he becomes unsure of himself. Which gift idea is the best idea? Part 3 of A Year in Occasions

Daddy's Darling by distantstarlight (E, 7,747 w., 1 Ch. || PWP, Daddy Kink, Valentine’s Day, Smut, First Time) – Disguises are part of the package when you work as detectives, there was nothing new about that but one day Sherlock goes undercover with his best friend and they discover more than the answer to the crime.

Valentine’s Night Out by CarmillaCarmine (E, 10,120 w., 5 Ch. || ASiB Canon Divergence, Valentine’s Day, Established Relationship, Fluff and Smut, Breath Play, Butt Plugs, Deep Throating, Humour, Orgasm Delay / Denial, Anal Sex) – John and Sherlock have been invited to join their friends at a pub for Valentine's Day. Sherlock has plans to spice the evening up a bit. Part 4 of the The Johnlock Holidays and Celebrations Series

The Heart of the Matter by prettysailorsoldier (T, 13,427 w., 1 Ch. || Teenager AU || Secret Admirer, Secret Crush, Texting, Valentine’s Day, Fluff) – It's the annual Valentine's Week fundraiser, carnations, conversation hearts, and singing telegrams (oh my!) making their way around the school corridors, and Sherlock Holmes has quite happily never received any of them. So, when he gets a box of conversation hearts containing a message from a secret admirer, his first instinct is that it's an elaborate practical joke, but, as he and his mystery suitor begin texting, he starts to wonder if there might be something to this Valentine's Day lark after all. There is, however, the entirely unrelated problem of one John Watson to contend with before he can be sure. Part 3 of 221B Mine

Not this year by Imjohnlocked87 (E, 16,293 w., 4 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting ||  Friends to Lovers, Valentine’s Day, Fluff and Smut, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Food Sex, Wall Sex, Angst with Happy Ending) – One month after leaving the rehabilitation centre, when Donovan asks Sherlock if he will be alone on Valentine's Day this year too, he replies he will be spending it with someone special.The only problem is that this someone doesn't exist.Because who would want to have Valentine's date with Sherlock Holmes? 

Quo Fata Vocant by prettysailorsoldier (E, 18,115 w., 1 Ch. || Unilock / Teenlock ||  Librarians, Bisexual John, Flirting, First Time, Tattoos, Valentine’s Day, Secret Admirer, Matchmaker) – Sherlock is enamored with one of the employees at the university library, wiling away hours of his days just to catch a glimpse of the dynamic John Watson: captain of the rugby team, event manager for the LGBT society, and third-year medical student. Of course, being only a first-year, it's unlikely John will ever notice him. At least, until fate (and a little well-intentioned meddling) intervenes.