#and i’m looking for examples with text and photo manipulation | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

storygirl000 · 5 years

Text

ML Fic: Power Trip

Summary: Lila, in order to keep her sheep in line and punish those who defied her, puts extra time into prepping the class’ end-of-the-year trip.

Unfortunately, she underestimated just how far Marinette would go to upstage her.

Ao3 link here.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Something that always bothered me about “Marinette is the best at student council” salt fics was that Lila and/or Alya always have no idea what this position entails. I don’t think that makes sense; assuming Lila tried the same act at previous schools, she’d probably know the ins and outs of working on the student council by now. And Alya wouldn’t just forget her time as Marinette’s class rep assistant just because she hates her now; she’d most likely have a working idea of what that entails, too.

So I chose to make Lila smarter here than she usually is in fics regarding this subject. (No worries – she still gets her karma.)

00000

“I’m so glad you could all come!”

Lila smiled at all of her classmates, who’d gathered with her in Ms. Bustier’s room to discuss some important matters.

She heard Alix mutter something about the gathering being “mandatory” and “another example of Bustier’s favoritism”, but she ignored it.

“Now, as we all know, every year we do an end-of-the-year field trip to some amazing location. As your new Class Representative...”

She paused to shoot a quick smirk at Marinette, who either didn’t notice or didn’t care.

“...I propose that this year...we go to Disneyland Paris!”

Naturally, her lackeys cheered for her, and Adrien’s eyes lit up at the idea (she had to thank Gabriel for sheltering the boy as much as he had; it made him so easy to manipulate). The others – the ones that had sided with Marinette – seemed intrigued, but nothing beyond that.

Lila smirked again. This was almost too easy.

She quickly switched to her disappointed role model face. “Unfortunately, Ms. Bustier has ruled that some students will be unable to attend this trip due to all the unacceptable behavior they’ve demonstrated in the past. This includes being discluded from any fundraisers we will have to help fund this trip.”

It took all of five seconds for Marinette and her cronies to realize this meant them.

Naturally, Alya and Chloé protested the loudest, but they were quickly shut down by Adrien, who admonished them for daring to bring their drama into an official class meeting. Upset, they took Marinette and walked out, followed by everyone else who’d supported them.

This left herself, Adrien, Kim, Max (and Markov), Mylene, and Ivan.

Ah, well. She’d worked with less before. She could do this.

With that, they started planning things out.

00000

It didn’t take her long to secure approval from the principal and the school board for the trip. Ms. Bustier had volunteered to be one of their chaperones, and so had Mylene’s father.

With her calculations, she realized that they needed roughly $6000 for the trip. A little flattery (and a promise to keep spying on his son for him) had gotten them a $1500 donation from Gabriel Agreste himself, so that left them to raise $4500 more for the trip. Quickly, they went to work.

The first fundraiser had been a bake sale – Mylene had gotten the idea to theme it after fall, with cute leaf patterns and gourd-shaped cupcakes and the like. And besides, the bake sale was always their first fundraiser of the year. Lila had agreed immediately.

There was only one problem – their main distributor of baked goods was no longer a part of the fundraiser.

Whatever. They didn’t need her anyways.

The group dedicated an entire weekend to baking these treats, and started selling them at school on Monday (after obtaining the permission of the principal and making sure it didn’t collide with any other fundraisers, of course). By the end of the day, they’d raised almost $500.

During her shift, Lila had spotted a pair of boys walk past the table – an older boy in a blue hoodie, and a younger one in a red hoodie. She recognized them as friends of Marinette (Luka and Marc, if she remembered correctly). Listening in on their conversation, she learned that Marinette had apparently hosted a bake sale of her own over the weekend.

She was torn between confusion (why had Marinette done a bake sale?) and confidence (obviously it wasn’t a success). She chose the latter.

By the end of the day, she had Ms. Bustier chewing out Marinette for daring to undermine the class’ fundraiser.

$4000 to go.

00000

Next up was the annual homecoming game and dance. That, like all major school events, had its ticket money split between the various classes and the school overall, with the class that raised the most money getting the lion’s share.

Kim had volunteered to help drum up support for the school team with his girlfriend Ondine (who Lila had promised could come on their class trip after her class had unfairly excluded her for daring to badmouth Marinette). The duo sold tickets fairly fast, their enthusiasm likely playing a part in it.

Lila also noticed that Marinette and her friends were handing out pamphlets for some website – apparently, the former “everyday Ladybug” was trying to launch her own clothing line.

She snorted. Good luck with that – the world of fashion was cruel, fickle, and would probably eat her alive.

The game and dance came and went, and Bustier’s class had sold the second highest amount of tickets after Mendeleiev’s class. The teacher was concerned (they’d always been in the top spot before, for some reason), but Lila didn’t care; they’d gotten $1000 out of the deal, after all.

$3000 to go.

00000

As December came, both Max and Adrien proposed fundraisers for the season.

Max suggested candy cane messages. According to his calculations, these were always successful in previous years.

Adrien suggested that they have girls (and some boys) pay him for a picture of them kissing under the mistletoe.

Max’s idea was the one they went with, but Lila had to say, she was surprised – Adrien had never tried to use his looks to his advantage before. Perhaps her own cunning mind was rubbing off on him.

She could deal with that.

As Max had predicted, the plan was a success, netting them more cash than their previous endeavors. Everyone in school had wanted to send a message to someone else, be it a friend, a crush, or a teacher. Even Lila herself had gotten a few.

Over the course of the fundraiser, she’d overheard a conversation between Marinette (ugh), Juleka, Rose, and two girls from Mendeleiev’s class (Aurore and Mireille, right?) about some trip they were going to go on.

Hmph. So Marinette was going to force another class to accommodate her and her friends, huh? So be it.

She quickly told Ms. Bustier of this new development, and smirked as she watched the teacher chew out Marinette for daring to drag another class into her drama.

$1500 to go.

0000

Christmas and New Year’s came and went, and Valentine’s Day was coming up. And so was the Valentine’s Day dance.

Ivan was the one who came up with the idea to sell heart-shaped candy and Hershey’s kisses alongside the tickets, and everyone agreed it was a good way to get some extra money if they failed to get enough money to fund the rest of the trip. Lila agreed to it, but warned that she wouldn’t be able to help as much as she had before; after all, she had to start preparing all the necessary paperwork for the trip.

Sure enough, the plan went off without a hitch. The class once again managed to get the top spot, and the candy sales more than made up for what they lacked. They were going to Disneyland Paris.

She then had one last encounter with Marinette’s allies – Luka and Nathaniel were putting up fliers for a Jagged Stone concert. When she bragged to Nathaniel about how her leadership had netted them the trip, he’d given her a cold smile and an odd response.

“Oh, that’s alright. We already have a trip planned that we need to fundraise.”

Privately, Lila celebrated. With Marinette on their side, it was more than likely that Mendeleiev’s class was going to fall short of their goals.

After all, she was completely useless.

00000

The end of the year came, and so did the class’ (and Ondine’s) three days in Disneyland Paris.

Naturally, the whole trip had been amazing. They had plenty of photos and souvenirs to share with their less fortunate classmates (officially, to make sure they weren’t “entirely left out”; unofficially, to brag). And Lila had finally gotten Adrien to kiss her.

Lila had wanted to gather the entire class together so that she could make Marinette and her cronies feel even worse, but strangely none of them were there when she got back. Neither were several kids from Mendeleiev’s class (Aurore, Mireille, Marc, and Kagami) or Luka, for that matter.

She didn’t know why until her lackeys started sending her urgent texts.

She looked at them...and her stomach dropped.

It was an Instagram post of Marinette, Alya, and Chloé at an airport; Marinette was sitting on a suitcase, Alya was holding the phone, and Chloé pretended to be distracted by doing her makeup.

The caption read “Taking a trip across the states with all of our friends!!! It was originally gonna be the class trip, but that fell through.”

So that was what the brat had been planning.

Lila felt herself go pale.

00000

Lila spent the rest of the summer checking Marinette, Alya, and Chloé’s Instagrams (and Nino’s, which was likely gotten just to help rub salt in the wound). Each adventure felt more unbelievable than the last.

First was New York City, where Marinette had apparently managed to secure the group a tour of the Avengers Tower. There were photos of Chloé sassing Tony Stark (and Pepper trying her hardest not to laugh and/or give the girl an apprenticeship on the spot in the background). Of Rose and Juleka on Captain America’s shoulders, fangirling over him. Of Alix, who mostly took selfies with the Black Widow and Hawkeye. Of Kagami and Sabrina (of all people) helping Stark’s young interns (Peter, Harley, Shuri, Ned, MJ, and Riri, apparently) play various pranks around the tower.

Alya posted an interview where she asked the heroes questions about Paris’ own heroes on the Ladyblog, and the site’s traffic immediately tripled.

The next location was Miami, Florida. According to Marinette, this destination was meant to be more low-key.

Which meant they just so happened to enter a music shop that international pop star Austin Moon was frequenting at the time. And it just so happened to be the shop run in part by his girlfriend and frequent collaborator Ally Dawson.

Naturally, this lead to photos of Luka and Nino jamming out with the two of them and their friends.

And, apparently, Marinette decided to namedrop Lila. Because the next video on her Instagram was one of Austin’s manager angrily cursing the Italian’s name (and that of Adrien, for some reason) for bullying such an amazing girl and lying to her classmates about it.

Lila wasn’t surprised when she and Adrien were kicked out of the class’ group chat shortly afterwards. She was too numb to be surprised at that point.

Next was Gotham City, which naturally lead to photos with both successful billionaire Bruce Wayne and resident superhero Batman. And all their kids. And the nicer Rogues (often with Nathaniel and Marc loudly sassing their villainous plans in the background).

Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark had apparently gotten into a Twitter war over who was going to adopt the group first. Alya had responded by suggesting they get shared custody.

Next was Hollywood, California. Marinette managed to get photos with Finn Wolfhard and Mckenna Grace on the set of the new Ghostbusters movie (and their numbers, if the captions were to be believed). Chloé, meanwhile, preferred to take photos of all the hunky actors and beautiful actresses walking around.

Their final destination had been Hawaii. That one (much to Lila’s surprise) did not end with the class meeting a celebrity; however, they did get to meet students from a Japanese school that had apparently had the same idea as them.

Alya took photos with some kid named Mishima, claiming they had something in common. Other photos were taken with a pair of blonde kids (Lila didn’t know if they were siblings or not, but given their apparent romantic closeness, the latter was more likely), a brown-haired girl, and a blue-haired boy.

The most photos, however, were those of Marinette with a boy her age, with messy black hair and glasses. Judging from Alya and Chloé’s comments, the two were into each other.

Lila couldn’t take it. She’d thrown her phone against the wall at that.

How was Marinette having so much fun when she’d done her best to ruin her life?

00000

Finally, school started up again. Predictably, everyone was glaring at Lila when she entered the building – even her former sheep.

She was the first to enter the classroom. As everyone filed in, they shot a glare at her – or at Adrien, who’d apparently been dragged down with her.

Marinette was the last to enter. She stood in front of Lila’s desk, gave her a cold smile, and asked her one thing.

“So, Lila! How was your summer?”

Lila wanted to scream.

#my writing #miraculous ladybug #ml salt #lila salt #adrien salt

2K notes · View notes

lizallanapologist · 4 years

Text

The problematic behavior of Tomdaya stans; a thread

Some of you might not be aware of the stalkerish problematic stuff tomdaya stans have done with Tom and Zendaya’s life but it’s gotten to the point where Tom’s own brothers protect with big scrutiny every single female in Tom’s life because they fear they’re going to get bullied or harassed. This is not OK and this has to stop so we’re exposing their toxic behavior.

This is only to bring awareness and we do not condom any hate or death threats, don’t send hate to tomdaya accounts, either block them or report them but don’t bully them. Many of them might need professional help dealing with the fact that Tom and Z are not together due to the fact that they created an illusion in their heads for a long time but that doesn’t mean some of them aren’t plenty manipulative and love to get away with bullying and harassment.

If you don’t know, Tom was recently seen with another woman on his instagram, not going to say the name and please don’t try to find out about her, the relevant information is in this post and all of the private information regarding her is being protected for the same reasons. Many stans decided to apply the same treatment to her as they did to Olivia. If you don’t know what happened last year, all information is here. The fact that this kind of bullying and harassment got overlooked is horrifying.

This specific behavior doesn’t apply to all of the stans but the vast majority is on the same page.

A big thanks to all the blogs who contributed with information and their writing in this post.

STALKING

1. Tomdaya stans have made an entire thread/timeline of events in Tom and Zendaya's life that they manipulated so it can be seen as proof of them dating. They stalk every single part of their lives, from paying stalkerish apps to review their instagram activities daily to having a constant GPS to know their exact locations everyday. They ask twitter accs, owners of restaurants/stores, people close to them information about their whereabouts/the things they buy or eat/who they were with, etc.

They order their ‘’interactions’’ with specific dates and they even know information you shouldn’t know about them.

They pay for apps that helps them stalk their every move. That’s right, they take every like as proof of them being together.

They hide behind the pretext that they're celebrities and this is what they've signed up for but neither Tom nor Zendaya have signed up for constant daily harassment of their partners in life.

HARASSMENT OF PARTNERS

Tom was seen last year with a blonde girl called Olivia, everyone speculated that was his girlfriend and that was something everyone should’ve respected since it’s Tom’s life and he’s in control of it, instead, many fans including Tom H. crazy fans and tomdaya stans, decided to stalk and harass Olivia to the point she had to make her account private. They started bullying her by publicly calling her names like ‘’Olive Oil’’, ‘’Ugly old woman’’, ‘’Ugly fake bitch’’ among other names. They continuously compare her with Zendaya and write on her friends and family members’ social media and ask them to tell Olivia nasty things. You really think this is ok?

Same is happening with the girl Tom was seen with. Tom’s own brothers asked several people to take down and delete the video because they were disrupting her privacy. Many stans didn’t care and started all over again harassing the girl. (I’m not posting images or the identity of this new girl in hopes that this helps maintain a little big of privacy for her.)

However here are some examples of them harassing Olivia:

’’I saw a troubling post on twitter about this fan dming another fan saying that they’d kill her (Olivia). That they’d find a way. So that “the fans can have him all to ourselves” - source

MANIPULATING THE NARRATIVE

Tomdaya stans and some Tom Holland crazy stans love to harass Tom Holland to the point that they tag family members and friends only because he decided to go out in public with Olivia. They call him cheater, manipulator, a dumbass, made fun of him because Tom is dyslexic calling him an illiterate, mocked him and tried to cancel him in every opportunity given by manipulating everyone into thinking some of these ‘’facts’’ are true.

Many fans don’t know better and go to social media to frame Tom as a scumbag because many tomdaya stans have convinced the public of this.

This same issue occurs with Zendaya. Her known boyfriend; Jacob Elordi, is frequently called a cheater and is being investigated every five seconds on every social media, candid, interaction ever. Many fans are already calling him cheater, telling everyone Zendaya’s changed her behavior thanks to Jacob and that she needs help.

Source

BULLYING

The definition of cyberbullying according to Stopbullying.gov:

“Cyberbullying is bullying that takes place over digital devices like cell phones, computers, and tablets. Cyberbullying can occur through SMS, Text, and apps, or online in social media, forums, or gaming where people can view, participate in, or share content. Cyberbullying includes sending, posting, or sharing negative, harmful, false, or mean content about someone else. It can include sharing personal or private information about someone else causing embarrassment or humiliation. Some cyberbullying crosses the line into unlawful or criminal behavior. “

Examples of cyberbullying on Tumblr from good ole Toutdesuite360:

https://toutdesuite360.tumblr.com/post/190572803098/faces-haha-ive-heard-this-has-been-memed-when

Making fun of Jacob Elordi’s wealth… but that isn’t that only thing that the Tomdaya stans have done.

She basically implied that Olivia looked like an elderly lady, and she permitted her followers to humiliate her.

Funny, that a middle aged woman who has never revealed her face on her blog is bullying a young woman.

(She may have deleted the link to save her a** on the post with the Cher pictures, but thankfully @crazypeopleonfandom took screenshots of this post; I got most of my photos from them)

The next aren’t pertaining to the ‘innocent’ Toutdesuite360, just some random jerks from Twitter/Instagram. If you have the time, you can read through them.

See the pictures above and below for reference.

Labelling Zendya, Jacob E., Tom, and Olivia as cheaters, when there was no confirmed relationship between Tom and Z, and Jacob broke up with Cari already is plain disrespectful. These are type of claims are considered slander, and I’m surprised that the people who own these accounts haven’t been rightfully sued.

And remember when I talked about the repetition of people tagging Tom and Z’s family for their ‘thoughts’? Why are you tagging Nikki in your post?

Calling Olivia, once again, a vulgar word that shouldn’t be used for any woman.

This person and many other tomdayas are harassing Zendaya and Tom by tagging them repeatedly. Now we know why Tom stopped using Twitter, and why he may be taking breaks from social media.

And, as pointed out in another point on the thread: Tom has dyslexia! I easily ignore the posts that tease him about his lips, but when it comes to his disability, that crosses the line. It is unacceptable to bully someone just because your fantasy relationship doesn’t seem so real now.

Before I finish this point, I just want to remind people that celebrities are humans too. Everyone has feelings, and even if they haven’t seen these posts, it is still harmful to post this kind of information on your account. Fans who are young (or naive) may see these posts, thus making them believe that Tom actually cheated on Z, and that Z is really with Jacob as ‘payback’ to Tom. Bullying is still an ongoing issue, and maybe you should stop harassing/humiliating people on your platform.

DEATH THREATS

Olivia, Tom and his family, friends, Zendaya, Jacob Elordi, etc. They were sent death threats as a result of a fictional ship. This is truly upsetting and we’ve shown some proof of that above and it’s truly sickening how many of them really want to attack Olivia in public only because of a few photographs.

DEBUNKING EVIDENCE

While we don’t know anything for sure, we need to trust and respect what Tom and Zendaya have said several times: they were never together and they were just friends. This is a topic that makes them feel uncomfortable and tomdaya stans decide to twist their words every time they want to clarify the situation, saying they’re hiding their relationship and that they’ve been hiding it for over 3 years.

Stop believing everything SpideyParker on YouTube says, that person desperately wants them together so they’ll do anything in their power to make it seem like that they’re ’’still together’’. All of their evidence is also nothing but scraps. I can also make a video cropping out certain individuals from the frame to make it look like Tom is with someone or I can also investigate every tiny detail to a borderline degree to make it seem like Zendaya is dating someone. It’s really easy to manipulate the truth, so don’t fall for these things so easily. Check with the real sources, Tom and Zendaya. Trust and respect what they say it’s not your job to investigate and figure their lives out.

Their evidence of the relationship is ridiculous, stuff like them wearing the same clothes,

because obviously there’s no way this jacket is in any random store in the world...This is a unique jacket, made by Tom and Z specifically...And it’s not even the same jacket. If we’re going by their logic, then

More, more, more and more.

Source

Robert Downey Jr. and Tom have been in a relationship for a long time...

Angourie, Remy and Tom wearing the same jacket.

I have no idea what’s going on with the freaking necklace you swear with blood that Zendaya gave him but that’s hardly something special:

Matching necklace with Olivia.

Avengers necklace.

He likes necklaces, nothing special here.

'’Tom only goes to Zendaya’s home, and only goes out with her!’’

Tom Holland went to RDJ's house to watch Black Panther with him.

Tom and RDJ facetime daily.

Obviously, his only friend is Zendaya...

Look at him and Zendaya there, wow.

‘‘Tom looks at her with heart eyes and in a very special way!’‘

Excuse me, what is he supposed to do? Ignore Zendaya and look somewhere else every time she talks?

He literally looks at everyone the same way.

‘‘He only does Spider-Man because he wants to be the Peter Parker to his Mary Jane, one of the most romantic comic book couples!’‘

I can’t believe I once read this as proof but I haven’t forgotten about it.

Interview with Tom and Laura:

“Is Zendaya’s character Mary Jane Watson?’’

Tom Holland: “No, no! This is one of those rumours, that like, we’ve all said it’s not true.

Laura Harrier: It’s not true!

Tom Holland: Like, we keep on… You guys keep building yourselves up for disappointment.

Laura Harrier: Unless we don’t know how this started? Because you guys are gonna see this movie and be like “…Ugh.” She’s Michelle!

Tom Holland: She’s a character called Michelle.

Laura Harrier: She’s playing Michelle.

Tom Holland: 100%. Hands down. Her character’s called Michelle. And she’s sort of this weird, quirky one in the friendship group that Peter has. She’s funny, but she’s super strange.

Laura Harrier: Yeah, super dry humour.

Tom Holland: She’s 100% not Mary Jane. It’s funny, everyone’s like “Is she Mary Jane?” and I’m like NO, I’M TELLING YOU! SHE’S NOT MARY JANE!

Source

‘‘He did the Will Smith thing with her, he loves her!’‘

‘’He only ever talks about her! He only praises her!’’

Angourie Rice.

Robert Downey Jr, 2, 3

Laura Harrier, 2

Elizabeth Olsen.

Jacob Batalon.

Chris Hemsworth.

Jake Gyllenhaal.

And the list goes on and on.

‘‘He always goes to her special events only! He only goes to her parties! He only goes to hospitals with her! He was on the set of Euphoria with her!’‘

How about, he goes out with her and everyone else in group and individually? He goes out with Harrison alone, with Jacob alone, with Laura alone, etc. I love how many of them love to leave out certain people to make everyone believe it’s only the two of them. And he doesn’t only goes to hospitals with her, he’s gone with many other people and he does it because he’s a good person, not because he’s on a date with Zendaya.

Tom AND Jacob visit Zendaya on the set of the Greatest Showman.

Tom and friends celebrating Harrison’s birthday party.

Tom on a double date.

Tom going to Joe Russo’s restaurant to get an exclusive cooking lesson from Jessica Largey.

Tom on birthday parties.

Tom, Laura, Harrison and Harry out for dinner in Brazil.

Tom, Brie Larson, Tessa Thompson, and Zachary Levi in a club in Brazil.

Tom, Laura, Jacob, Harrison in a pool party.

RDJ & Tom Holland visit Jon’s restaurant and participate on his show.

Tom Holland visits Doctor Strange’s set.

Tom Holland, Ciara Bravo, Joe Russo visit haunted attraction.

He’s a good person and loves supporting his friends.

‘‘He only has chemistry with her!’‘

Tom and RDJ’s extraordinary chemistry.

Tom and Jake’s chemistry.

Tom and Jacob’s chemistry.

Tom and Laura’s chemistry.

Tom and Daisy’s chemistry.

Tom and Chris Pratt’s chemistry.

Also Will Smith, Chris Hemsworth, etc.

Look below for Ciara and Tom’s chemistry.

Like I said before, maybe he’s a good actor and that’s it?

‘‘Their FFH kiss was too real and magical!’‘

Spoiler alert for Cherry

Fan about witnessing Tom’s kiss with Ciara Bravo:

His reaction about kissing Laura Harrier:

‘‘He LOVES touching her’‘

I’m sorry, is he supposed to be scared of touching people?

This is it. This is the big touch they always talk about and the only times they’ve ever held hands is in manips or in FFH, but that doesn’t count, those are fictional characters. Well...

Maybe he’s a touchy person. Consider that.

’’She’s the only one that knows him well!’’

How well do Zendaya, Jacob, & Laura know Tom?

I’m sure Harrison, RDJ, his friends and others know him pretty well too.

And only because he knows she likes ice cream doesn't mean she’s his ultimate soulmate or something blown out of proportion.

‘‘He’s only a gentleman with her!’‘

Tom saves Gina Rodriguez

Tom rescues fan

Karen Gillan

‘‘He looked way too in love with MJ to be fake’‘

Nope.

Nope 2

Nope 3

It’s called acting, pretty sure you guys know by now he’s good.

‘’They’re inseparable!’‘

Jacob, Tom and Harrison

Also, why is it that every female in his life is his cousin, aunt, close childhood friend or ‘’he probably hates her’’ for you?

They’ve said this multiple times but:

In an interview with Elle, Tom said he is not involved with anyone at the moment but is "definitely a relationship person." And when addressing the rumors, he says it’s uncomfortable and annoying when people ship him and Zendaya together.

Zendaya also denied the claims, telling Variety Magazine that she and Tom were simply ‘just friends’.

You can ship them if you want, as a bromance or cute chemistry, but not at the expense of someone else. Not when you violate their privacy, their lives and specially not when you bully, harass and stalk every detail of their lives.

Zendaya is clearly very happy with Jacob Elordi:

Let her have that. No, she doesn’t look miserable with him, no, he didn’t change her style or her personality. No, she doesn’t dress differently because of him. She is the same as always, she looks even happier. Let her be. This is good for her. She has every right to go out in public with her boyfriend. And for the love of god, stop commenting on her instagram posts ‘’warning’’ her that Jacob is going to cheat on her. Hopefully that won’t happen ever.

And no, they’re not going to magically ’’get back together’’ when Spider-Man 3 starts filming, stop wishing bad luck on Zendaya and Jacob’s relationship. Tom is not going to magically realize how ‘’wrong’’ he was for ‘’leaving’’ Zendaya. He never left her, he’s her friend.

All of this have gotten to the point where Tom can’t have a friendship with a female and he has to ‘’protect’’ them every time he wants to interact with them. Do you guys seriously think this is ok? Are you really a fan of his if this is how you want him to live? Controlling him all the time?

Do you realize how wrong and unfair it is for the other partner every time you comment in every single picture on instagram, twitter, etc about how ‘’cute’’ Tom and Zendaya are? About how ‘’ugly’’ Olivia is? How about when you compare Zendaya and Olivia, or every single female in Tom’s life? Or when you comment on Zendaya’s instagram telling her she is different now and that you don’t like her now because she’s changed for Jacob? Telling her that Jacob is going to cheat on her? Stop sending death threats to the partners, stop tagging their families in your ‘’evidence/proof’’ posts/tweets. Just because they don’t voice these things doesn’t mean they don’t read them.

Being sincere, if you all, as a collective; really, genuinely cared about Tom, this is the last thing you would wanna pull. In your endless obsession with thinking you have a right to dictate the life of a man simply because he's famous; actually stopped once to consider how this is possibly making Tom and Zendaya feel?? You are basically sending the message that nobody is enough, that him being happy isn't enough, that he won't ever be allowed to be happy until he gets with the person YOU think is best for him. Fucking abhorrent, how they don't have a choice on who they choose to fucking love. This is how you make a celebrity jaded. THIS is how you make a celebrity hate you. And he will, unless you stop your bullshit, and treat him; and whoever he decides to be with, like human beings.

When you focus only on two people it’s easy to believe anything, try and see the bigger picture. Allow Zendaya and Tom to enjoy their lives without harassing them and their partners.

256 notes · View notes

joshuahong · 4 years

Note

ok so i've been staring at the ah!love edit for like a good one hour now, i keep coming back to it and i just go 🤩🤩💖💖✨✨ how long have you been editing for? which programs do you use? any tips you would give for people who are thinking of delving into gfx and editing? Hope you don't mind the questions, i'm just curious

omg thank you!! seriously you are too too sweet hehe :”) and i’ve been editing since 2014?? 2015?? I can’t believe time flies that fast LOL

I use photoshop cc 2019!! I also use after effects if I want a specific overlay for gifs or illustrator if I’m primarily working with vectors!

I HOPE I DON’T RAMBLE but here are my biggest tips in the most condensed way possible LOL (I also have a ps tag here~) update: it is NOT condense therefore it will be under a read more <3 I hope this helps!

understand placement (balance, proximity, alignment) - I personally think this is important because it helps guide the viewers’ eyes through your edit in the way it’s intended & can help make an edit look aesthetically pleasing!!

For balance it’s all about understanding how each element carries it’s own visual weight / like for example in this edit the focus on the polaroids but I don’t like too much negative space so I added plants in certain areas to help frame the focus of the panel.

For proximity I just make sure that each element has enough space around it! So if you have a subject edit like this, I put the focus on Joshua and either layer elements behind him or use the gradient tool to make sure the background elements aren’t distracting

For alignment I would just keep note of the different elements you introduce and keep it consistent if things are meant to be center aligned, off-centered, etc.

So if we apply that to the two different edits below:

balance: left edit I keep it consistent with displaying “three” text blocks about their debut, and 3 eras; I also use the same rounded square shape in each // in the right edit I keep it balanced by using a few elements: polaroid + flowers. notice that the smaller flowers are on the right hand side of the polaroid and the bigger flowers are on the left side

proximity: on the left edit I use physical lines to show the end of one section and a new section, Also the rounded square images keep everything contained and since there are a lot of different styles (different seventeen logos and small icons) I use more white space to separate them. on the right edit I just use the contours of the flowers and space them evenly that way

alignment: left edit i use thirds to separate each element and everything is centered, whereas the right edit has a more organic feel??? so I layered elements more to make it look realistic

play around with colors!!! it helps to know a little about color theory: honestly I just use the colors I like the most, but even knowing how colors look against each other and knowing which ones can be used as accents helps bring the edit together! there’s a bunch of palette generators on tumblr to help you pick colors if you’re indecisive!!

try different styles! I think it’s super fun to dive into a LOT of different graphic design styles like vector art, infographics, manipulation (like my cyberpunk edits), or flatlay styles!

use tutorials!! There’s a bunch of tutorials on tumblr in achieving different styles, AND on behance.net there’s a BUNCH of mockups that can be used to spice up your edits!!!

don’t feel pressured to post everything you make or have an edit out quickly I feel like sometimes we are pressured to post everything we make, but sometimes you can use it as a learning opportunity!! I would say post what you are proud of!!

TOOLS FOR EDITORS

photoshop/phone apps - I know a lot of people on twitter use phone apps which is really cool in editing, but for me I think photoshop is my go to since it has so many capabilities!! hint: search adobe zii patch for Mac OS to get it for fr33

USE EDITABLE IMAGES!! - if you use fantakens please check to make sure they allow editing. I think hanwooz has a good tutorial of how to ask for permission, but usually on their twitter profiles they say if they allow editing. There’s also scans you can use from @iiashascans that are editable with credit. I personally use Seventeen’s behind the scene images OR their naver x dispatch photos since its so HD lol

Freepik and Unsplash for free images you can use freepik.com or unsplash.com for free images!! I used unsplash for my cyberpunk backgrounds lol

#asks #askthetic #THIS IS SO LONG IM SORRY #anon #i hope it helps you!! I feel like im all over the place and i dont really have a singular editing style so its hard giving concise advice c #Anonymous #bea tutorial

19 notes · View notes

devinetheory-2 · 4 years

Text

I found this unnervingly accurate and fascinating.

Things Narcissists Do When They Think No One Is Looking ..

1 – Go through your personal things

2 – Create numerous dating profiles

3 – Try to get in touch with their exes on social media

4 – Visit websites of very dubious merit. KIK Skype etc.

5 – Try to turn your family and friends against you

6 – Plant spyware on your devices or install hidden cameras etc.

7 – Sabotage your finances

8 – Spy on you

9 – Flirt with your best friend (or even your adult children)

10 – Plan secret rendezvous with their side-supply

11 – Hoover old sources of supply (a.k.a., their exes)

12 – Pave the way for their next relationship

If you’ve been in a relationship with someone you suspect is a narcissist, there has likely come a time when you developed a burning desire to know the things narcissists do when they’re by themselves.

If we’re to be sophisticated about it, we must consider that like other citizens of society, they engage in activities that are conducive to maintaining a certain level of livelihood. Things like going to work, having their cars serviced, and going to doctor’s appointments.

But apart from those harmless undertakings, things turn rather bleak.

Narcissists rarely ever admit to it, but all your worst fears regarding your relationship are playing out just underneath the radar of your awareness.

You know that ever-present, vague sense of dread you have in the pit of your stomach, wondering if they’re lying or telling the truth? That’s your intuition, which can cause physical sensations in the body.

Our “gut feelings” are called that for a reason — research suggests that emotion and intuition are very much rooted in the “second brain” in the gut. In fact, Michael Gershon, professor and chair of pathology and cell biology at Columbia, says, “The gut can work independently of any control by the brain in your head—it’s functioning as a second brain. It’s another independent center of integrative neural activity”.

But don’t take my word for it. You can read all about it on Psychology Today in an article titled, Your Backup Brain.

My job here is to give you a breakdown of what the narcissist in your life – employing very specific techniques of psychological depravity – does when they think no one is looking. Hidden secrets that would literally bring you to your knees…

Here, I map out thirteen of the most common things narcissists do when they think no one is looking. The possibilities on this topic are endless, but the following is a sampling of the ones I’m most familiar with, some of which I personally experienced.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Things Narcissists Do When They Think No One Is Looking ..

1 – Go through your personal things

Narcissists are constantly doing things that they will eventually be confronted with. Therefore, they spend inordinate amounts of time trying to dig up the most minuscule piece of incriminating evidence against you so that they will have ammunition when they are finally caught.

Many times, what they find “incriminating” is just a figment of their imagination or something entirely fabricated. For example, I used to work in the banking industry for years before I left to become a teacher and, later, to create this space for narcissistic abuse recovery.

As a bank employee, I wore suits which required me to wear pantyhose. One day, I accidentally tore a hole in a pair of them and discarded them in the trash. My ex, during his regular “dirt diving” practice, found them and confronted me with them, accusing me of having been unfaithful.

Of course, he was entirely wrong, but you can probably imagine how it turned out.

Long story short, narcissists engage in sneaky, underhanded behaviors every day. In many cases, they think other people are like them, but just better at hiding it. In others, they simply want to have something to throw in your face when you discover they’re still doing ‘that thing’ they promised you they would stop doing.

A general exception to this shady practice is the cerebral narcissist, who uses their intelligence to lord over others. They think most people are simpletons who don’t have anything interesting going on in their lives, except, of course, other academics and scholars whom the cerebral narcissist is insanely jealous of.

2 – Create numerous dating profiles

Not all narcissists cheat, but most of them do. The ones who don’t tend to be of the “cerebral” ilk and simply do not enjoy having intimate relations with other people.

But if the narcissist you know is attractive, extroverted, and likes being the center of attention, it is very likely they are doing things you would be horrified to learn about.

To the narcissist, seducing people is another tool for manipulation, control, exploitation, and destroying the self-esteem of their partner(s). In most cases, there’s serial cheating, withholding affection, degrading requests, verbal assaults, and addiction to off-color websites.

Or, on the opposite end of the spectrum, they’re so skilled in the bedroom that their partners often stay in the abusive relationship because they’ve never had it so good, which creates a twisted dynamic leading to self-loathing, guilt, and shame.

At any rate, narcissists have a track record of being serial cheaters. This explains why they generally have their cell phones on lockdown, leave the room when certain calls come in, and are oddly obsessed with a text exchange as you’re sitting down to dinner during your anniversary.

If you’ve caught them doing this, don’t be fooled by their seeming attempt to earn back your trust. It doesn’t matter if they let you go through their phone if they’ve secured a secret line behind your back.

If it feels weird, you’re probably onto something. Don’t ignore your gut on this one.

3 – Try to get in touch with their exes on social media

Imagine this scenario. You’re sitting at your work desk and decide to call your partner (whom you suspect is a narcissist) to check in and get a feel for how things are going. They seem fairly friendly and the two of you make plans for dinner and a movie that night. You hang up feeling relieved and begin to think your recent arguments were probably just normal relationship issues. You feel slightly elated thinking about how the evening will unfold.

The narcissist, however, hangs up and goes back to liking their ex’s Facebook and Instagram photos. The two of you have been arguing a lot lately (due to their relationship crimes), so they have to line up another source or two of narcissistic supply to have as a backup for when you finally come to your senses and give them the much-needed boot.

Moral of the story? Never trust that the narcissist will be a decent person. Ever.

4 – Visit websites of very dubious merit.

Webcam sites, porn, KiK, Snapchat, Tubmblr etc.

Since the media powers-that-be are now filtering and blocking certain terms and phrases, I am unable to express the exact terminology I’d like to use here, but, suffice it to say that many narcissists, when alone, spend hours on various websites of very dubious merit.

Sites that would break your heart and devastate you for weeks on end if you’re in a romantic relationship with them.

If you have discovered your narcissistic partner has been visiting such sites, you can bet with 99% certainty that he or she also has online dating profiles and is probably hooking up with other people behind your back. At the very least, they are likely engaging in things via the internet with people they’ve met online that would make you feel unwell.

5 – Try to turn your family and friends against you

Contrary to popular belief, the narcissist’s smear campaign doesn’t begin just after your breakup. In many cases, it’s been alive and well for some time. You just weren’t aware of it.

The reason everyone now runs in the opposite direction from you or, at the very least, looks at you with a raised eyebrow, is that the narcissist has been smearing your reputation since before the relationship even ended. The two main reasons for this are:

All relationships are doomed in the narcissist’s mind and they want to get a running start on assassinating your character.

They assume you will vent to people in your shared social circle and want to ensure they cut you off at the pass so you will look unstable when you muster the courage to start talking about your experiences.

These actions are to preserve the false image they’ve portrayed all along. Unfortunately, they’re often very successful at doing this. If your friends or family have suddenly started pulling back or questioning your judgement, the narcissist has likely planted the seeds of doubt in their minds. If they openly side with the narcissist when you begin sharing your relationship struggles, it’s time to start whittling down your inner circle.

6 – Plant spyware on your devices or install hidden cameras in your shared residence

This can happen a few different ways.

If you’re dealing with a narcissist, don’t assume they aren’t smart enough to track you using your devices. I’ve seen this assumption come crashing down around people’s ankles more times than I’d like to admit.

One common method that abusers use to legally track you is by using the geolocation services built into all smartphones; if you know, or can guess, the password to someone’s cloud account, you can follow their movements via the software designed to find lost or stolen phones that comes installed on many devices. Many times, the abuser sets up a cloud account for the person they want to track, giving them full access to their target’s location at any moment.

If you suspect you’re dealing with a narcissist, don’t accept a phone from them that they’ve set up for you using their cellular account. If you do, you can assume they’ve set it up to track you.

Another way abusers can keep tabs on you is by installing spyware on your electronic devices. Some of these spyware can be installed remotely. It’s somewhat more difficult to install spyware this way than it used to be, but it still happens.

Most spyware is designed to track not only your location but also monitor your calls, voicemails, texts, and emails – and even watch you using the camera on your device.

7 – Sabotage your finances

I’ve lost count of the number of people I’ve worked with in my coaching practice who’ve been financially devastated because they gave in to the narcissist’s seemingly genuine requests to give them access to their accounts.make you feel unwell.

They may have loaned you money or paid for a big-ticket item at some point to make you believe they are generous, but it was only to instill in you a sense of obligation in preparation for the debilitating shaft you’d get from them later.

Another scheme that falls into this category is their asking for your support while they are unemployed. These schemes are all designed to “break the seal” in the area of financial matters so they can take shocking liberties later, such as:

Getting loans in your name

Taking out a second mortgage on your home without your knowledge

Not paying IRS taxes, resulting in your possible confinement in jail

Expecting you to pay for everything while they save their own money for themselves

Forcing you to get all the utilities and insurances in your name so you’ll have to pay for them all

…and so on and so forth.

If you’ve been having problems in your relationship and believe your partner is a narcissist, it would be in your best interest to avoid mingling your finances in any way. If you already have, start a secret account and begin adding money to it whenever you can. Have your statements delivered to a family member’s address.

Prevent narcissistic financial abuse early by stashing away money when you can and refusing to put your name on any legal documents with them.

8 – Spy on you

We already covered spyware and tracking apps that narcissistic abusers can use to keep tabs on your whereabouts in #6.

However, many narcissists will literally stalk you so they can see what you do when they’re not with you.

While legal definitions of stalking vary from one jurisdiction to another, a good working definition of stalking is unwanted or obsessive attention by an individual toward another person through the carrying out of behaviors intended to frighten, distress the victim, and/or instill a sense of guilt and hopelessness in the victim (which often leads to learned helplessness). Stalking behaviors are related to harassment and intimidation and usually include following the victim (in person) and monitoring them.

According to Lamber Royakkers, author of The Dutch Approach to Stalking Laws (California Criminal Law Review 3, October 2000):

“Stalking is a form of mental assault, in which the perpetrator repeatedly, unwantedly, and disruptively breaks into the life-world of the victim, with whom they have a current relationship or a recent one. Moreover, the separated acts that make up the intrusion cannot by themselves cause the mental abuse, but do taken together (cumulative effect).”

Disruptions in daily life that are necessary to escape a stalker can include changes in employment, residence, and phone numbers. Many targets of stalking have had to move to another country and basically go into hiding.

Many of my coaching clients have been stalked by their narcissistic partners. Stalking behaviors carried out by narcissists can include:

Constant texts, emails, and phone calls

Frequent, unwanted deliveries of gifts, cards, and flowers

Constantly driving by your home

Showing up at your place of employment or favorite hangout

Spreading rumors or publishing personal information about you on social media

Cyberstalking

Using social media to follow and friend your social media followers and friends in order to keep an eye on you

Installing spyware on your computer or cell phone

Finding out about you by using public records or online search services, hiring investigators, going through your garbage, or contacting friends, family, neighbors, or co-workers

Using technology, like hidden cameras or global positioning systems (GPS), to track where you go

Threatening to hurt you, your family, friends, or pets

Stalking is often mistaken as hoovering in that once a source of supply expresses a desire to end the relationship, the narcissist refuses to give up their power by forcing themselves into the victim’s world through harassing, following, and monitoring.

Stalking is a common behavior of narcissists when a source of supply tries to initiate No Contact. When stalking begins, the victim typically has a clearer picture of what kind of person the narcissist is…which is why they want to go No Contact in the first place.

If you believe you are being stalked, you should avoid downplaying the issue as it will only get worse over time. You may have to take protective measures to secure your sense of peace, privacy, and security.

9 – Flirt with your best friend (or even your adult children)

When it comes to narcissistic cheaters, no one is off-limits. In fact, narcissists often derive a twisted sense of accomplishment if they can get your loved one interested in them, like your best friend or adult child.

So, imagine you’re at work and it’s the narcissist’s day off. You think everything is relatively calm and feel a spark of emotional safety. Then, you get a call from your best friend and they give you the very unsettling news that the narcissist has made a pass at them.

If you’re best friend is truly loyal, they will tell you about this the moment it happens.

But in some cases, the flirting continues while remaining a secret. Maybe your friend has experienced a string of failed relationships. Or they’ve recently gone through a difficult divorce. Vulnerability makes a person a prime target in the narcissist’s mind and this may well include your best friend.

My best advice? Never trust the narcissist alone with your friends or family members.

10 – Plan secret rendezvous with their side-supply

Speaking in very general terms, when a narcissist has an out-of-town trip planned, whether for work or for their third cousin’s wedding, there is a strong likelihood that they will meet their side supply there or even take him or her with them.

Narcissists are creatures of economy and rarely pass up an opportunity to groom supply. In fact, the narcissist could well be dubbed The Constant Gardner because they are perpetually trolling for and grooming new targets, even though they always have a main source of narcissistic supply. Furthermore, they are continuously ending relationships for various reasons, especially with those who require a lot of ��maintenance” (i.e. normal human interactions) or have stopped giving them money or other fringe benefits. Therefore, they must fill in the gaps left by those they’ve discarded by securing new supply sources.

Those work trips the narcissist always goes on? They could very well be genuine, but don’t be surprised when the new supply calls you, asking who you are and what you’re doing calling the narcissist!

11 – Hoover old sources of supply (a.k.a., their exes)

Narcissists typically don’t let go of their exes completely (unless their exes completely let go of them). They’ve been known to contact old flames out of the blue, sometimes as long as ten years post-breakup!

Not all narcissists do this, but most do. When a person has passed the litmus test for being “good supply”, narcissists literally can’t help themselves and will often reach out in an attempt to resurrect old relationships (albeit, one-sided ones).

This explains why you may have noticed how the narcissist in your life likes to remain “friends” with their exes or wants you to be friends after your relationship has ended.

It gives them an ‘in’ if they ever need to cycle back around.

12 – Pave the way for their next relationship

You’ve probably read a hundred times how narcissists leave relationships and then swan dive right into a new one.

Maybe this happened in the aftermath of your own relationship with a narcissist.

The main reason this happens is because narcissists don’t bond with people. Not romantically, not traumatically (at least, not for them), nor matrimonially. We from these bonds with narcissists, but they are not able to form emotional bonds with us due to their true lack of empathy and inability to attach to others.

Another reason narcissists are able to form relationships so quickly is that, any many cases, the relationship isn’t so new. If you’ll remember from earlier, narcissists are always combing for fresh sources of narcissistic supply. Because of this, most narcissists are perpetually in various stages of relationship with other people, from the shiny, newbie supply to those who are enduring varying levels of the narcissistic abuse cycle.

Therefore, when they showcase the new supply on their social media accounts, it’s usually not someone they’ve just met, though narcissists are often very skilled in making it appear so.

13 – Emotional abuse of partners and spouses

If you’ve ended a romantic relationship with a narcissist, you probably saw them out and about, loving up on the new partner and seemingly having the best time of their life. You see them flashing an engagement ring on social media and sending out ‘save the date’ notifications, broadcasting how silly in love they are and giggling about how they feel like a couple of teenagers.

Your first reaction might be to (stunningly) wonder what this new person has that you don’t. Just maybe, the narcissist had been right about you all along. Perhaps you really ARE the reason your relationship with them didn’t work out.

Then, you feel completely disabled by the seeming about-face the narcissist has made with the new supply, sending you into a depression so deep you can barely get through the day.

This is just another phase of the narcissistic abuse cycle and applies to you the same as it does everyone else. The narcissist you know is no different from the others. As personal and unique as it all may feel, it’s just another blueprint narcissistic manipulation.

When you see this happening, it’s crucial not to take it personally. This is one of the narcissist’s favorite times, when they are love-bombing new supply while simultaneously making you feel like discarded trash. The narcissist can’t help but gloat over how they’re able to make you feel emotionally destroyed, left to pick up the pieces while they’re off living their life as though your history together means nothing.

What you’re not thinking about is how the new supply will be subject to the same emotional abuse that you’ve endured. There are no exceptions to this. Don’t listen to the new trend of so-called professional advice which states that narcissists are only abusive towards YOU because your personality is incompatible with theirs, which is on my list of ‘Stupid Sh*t Therapists Say’.

Narcissists are abusive towards everyone. Regardless of status, ethnicity, intelligence, religious beliefs, or how tiny their waist is. The new supply simply won’t be spared, unfortunately.

Dealing with a narcissist

Healing From the Trauma of Narcissistic Abuse

It’s absolutely crucial to come to terms with the unsettling things narcissists do when they think no one is looking so you can make educated decisions for your future and your wellbeing.

Don’t let yourself fall into a false sense of security because the narcissist knows what to say to soften your defenses and make you doubt your judgement. Pay attention to patterns because patterns don’t lie.

With the right support, you’ll be shocked how amazing it feels when you can flourish on the other side of abuse and heal your life in ways you never

6 notes · View notes

alannah-digitalcommunities · 3 years

Text

Week 7: Face Filters

In this week's post, I am going to divulge the reality of face filters within the social media landscape, and how filtering is associated with a digital embodiment, beauty standards and pressures ingrained in societies culture. For this week, we exemplified the effect that face filters have on ethical digital citizenship, an individual's self-worth, body image, and in some cases, how it can result in 'Digitised Dysmorphia'. In one of the readings, Coy-Dibley (2016, p. 5) addresses the reality in which digitised cultures are similar to online beauty fixation, which in most cases, woefully results in 'Digitised Dysmorphia' and surgery.

What is Face Filtering?

AR “face filters” — a mask-like augmented reality that adds virtual objects to an individual's face—have become wildly popular on Instagram, Snapchat, and even video calling on FaceTime. ... Often seen as play, AR face filters can provide an engaging and personal art experience. ("Face Filters for Instagram and Snapchat Are the New Frontier of Surrealist Art", 2019)

How do face filters work?

They detect an image of a face and superimpose virtual elements onto that face via AR. As the subject turns their head or makes different facial expressions, they activate the AR experience.

“Mask Off” by Jon Han. The filter pictured removes a user’s face, revealing a new identity underneath

Popular face filtering apps:

1. Facetune

Facetune is a photo editing application used to edit, enhance, and retouch photos on a user’s iOS or Android device created by Lightricks. The app is often used for portrait and selfie editing.

“The massively popular photo-editing app Facetune is driving a generation of young women to extreme and obsessive lengths to look flawless online.” ("Selfies, Surgeries And Self-Loathing: Inside The Facetune Epidemic", 2021)

Before and After example from Facetune:

^ As you can see in the above image that on the left is a woman’s face with no filter and no makeup and on the right, her face in FaceTune with bigger lips, a smaller, straighter nose, and zero blemishes in sight.

From using the “Reshape” tool to cinch in your waist and give yourself a breast lift or even make your butt rounder, Facetune has many options to chose from to alter your appearance. It is addicting and can become an obsession for many. Some people even purchase the paid version of the app to have access to “more technical tweaks”, like individually repositioning your eyebrows and narrowing the tip of your nose.

According to Facetune user, Sky Lane, “It can get super obsessive because the second I take a photo I feel like I need to Facetune it,” “Now I’ll be like, ‘Oh my God, I’m chubby, but I can fix that.’” ("Selfies, Surgeries And Self-Loathing: Inside The Facetune Epidemic", 2021). Facetune makes it harder for people to love themselves, but at least they can love their edited photo, right?

Sky Lane’s Facetune image that she uploaded to Instagram:

2. Photoshop Fix

Photoshop Fix is not as easy to use as some of the other apps but it’s well worth learning. It includes a large range of photo retouching tools. The Lighten tool is great for teeth whitening and you can use the Smooth tool to even out skin. (Hermans, 2021)

The Healing brush will correct spots and blemishes quickly without effort. The standout feature is the Liquify tool, which allows you to make adjustments to facial features. (Hermans, 2021)

Why do people use filters?

Filters could prime us for biometric observation. (Rettberg 2017)

They have the potential to change self-perception on a mass scale.

They also offer us the ability to positively explore identity through digital dis/embodiment.

How Does Social Media Affect Beauty Standards and Mental Health?

Face filtering has been around for decades now, however with spending more time than ever on social media due to the COVID-19 pandemic, the face-tuning epidemic has only accelerated... There are only consequences to using face filters.

The pervasiveness of these filtered and manipulated images can seriously affect a person's self-esteem. Using these beautification filters can have severe consequences; they not only make you feel bad that you are not in the real world, but can also lead to digitised dysmorphia. They affect both self-image and self-esteem.

Believe it or not, the filters that are causing the most harm are those which alter facial features such as having larger eyes, blurred skin or bigger lips. It may not sound extreme, but perversely, it can lead us to believe a false sense of reality.

https://big.assets.huffingtonpost.com/athena/files/2021/05/18/60a40b5ee4b014bd0cb1ddc0.mp4

What is Digitised Dysmorphia?

Digitised Dysmorphia (Coy-Dibley 2016) is theory that helps us understanding the pressure placed on women to alter the digital image.

Digitised Dysmorphia is on a spectrum with BDD, but differs for two reasons:

- It is not a medical condition but a “socially constructed condition that is enabled by digital technology.”

- It is not inherently negative, and there is potential for positive uses of beauty technology.

Face Filtering and their link to Digitised Dysmorphia:

Woefully, for those obsessed and addicted individuals who use face filtering for every one of their images, their digital selves are the only version people see of them. And unfortunately for many, they can’t distinguish between their virtual persona with their reality which is a result of body dysmorphia. Dysmorphia at the extremes defies basic human psychology with an increase in unattainable beauty standards.

From FaceTune to Surgeries:

According to Huffpost, a teenager got her first Botox and lip fillers as a junior in college. That same year, she brought a Facetuned photo of her nose to her surgeon to turn it into a reality.

Facetune isn’t just a planning tool for people who are already considering cosmetic surgery. A study published last year by Dr. Michael Reilly revealed that “using Facetune actually instills and increases people’s desire to go under the knife”. ("Digital Appearance Manipulation Increases Consideration of Cosmetic Surgery: A Prospective Cohort Study", 2021)

YouTube video link about a teenager girl getting a nose job based on a facetuned photo of her nose: https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D5ZOpLpSNW6c&psig=AOvVaw17OSXBQYTL53-RQMD1BNSR&ust=1621946791186000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CA0QjhxqFwoTCJDl9-ms4vACFQAAAAAdAAAAABAJ

Are there any positives to using Face Filters?

Despite the dangers of face filtering, I personally believe that there are benefits concerning creativity. And I'm not the only one who agrees... According to an article, "Face Filters for Instagram and Snapchat Are the New Frontier of Surrealist Art". Jessica Herrington says, "By making AR filters, artists are creating tools. Instead of creating a singular experience, an individual with access to AR face filters is able to express, collaborate, and share multiple versions of themselves at any time. This way of producing and sharing multiple selves on such a massive scale is completely new in the history of art creation." ("Face Filters for Instagram and Snapchat Are the New Frontier of Surrealist Art", 2021).

Examples of Face Filtering used as AR Art:

“Badland” by Johanna Jaskowska. The filter places red lighting over the user’s eyes acting as a mask.

“Love Machine” by Marc Wakefield. The user’s face is opened to reveal a robotic skull underneath.

“Beauty 3000” by Johanna Jaskowska. The filter pictured applies a shiny, luminescent skin to a user’s face.

References:

Selfies, Surgeries And Self-Loathing: Inside The Facetune Epidemic. (2021). Retrieved 24 May 2021, from https://www.huffpost.com/entry/facetune-selfies-surgeries-body-dysmorphia_n_60926a11e4b0b9042d989d48

Coy-Dibley, I. 2016 “Digitized Dysmorphia” of the female body: the re/disfigurement of the image, Palgrave Communications, vol. 2, 16040, Retrieved 24 May 2021, <https://doi.org/10.1057/palcomms.2016.40>.

Face Filters for Instagram and Snapchat Are the New Frontier of Surrealist Art. (2019). Retrieved 24 May 2021, from https://onezero.medium.com/the-power-of-face-filters-as-augmented-reality-art-for-the-masses-65a95fb4a577#:~:text=AR%20%E2%80%9Cface%20filters%E2%80%9D%20%E2%80%94%20a,even%20video%20calling%20on%20FaceTime.&text=Often%20seen%20as%20play%2C%20AR,engaging%20and%20personal%20art%20experience.

Hermans, J. (2021). 7 Best Photo Retouching Apps for Smartphone Portraits 2021. Retrieved 24 May 2021, from https://expertphotography.com/photo-retouching-apps/

Digital Appearance Manipulation Increases Consideration of Cosmetic Surgery: A Prospective Cohort Study. (2021). Retrieved 24 May 2021, from https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32503384/

(2021). Retrieved 24 May 2021, from https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26469879/

#facefilters #filtering #beauty #instagram #socialmedia #dysmorphia #bodydsymorphia #digitiseddysmorphia #plasticsurgery #nosejob

4 notes · View notes

fletchphoenix · 4 years

Text

What I’ve Been Looking For

Hey Gamers! Here’s Chapter 8 of the Varigo Coffee Shop AU and I’m gonna be honest - I think this is my favourite chapter yet! It’s certainly the longest so I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did!! Thank you for your support and ON WITH THE CHAPTER!

Word Count - 4853

--------------------------------------------

A week had passed and it was finally Christmas - aka Hugo’s least favourite day of the year. Passing through his lips was a groan as he turned to his side on his bed, which was only a few bad days away from giving up on him completely. He felt around on the bedside table for his glasses, placing them on his face and laying back again, his head resting against the moss green pillows. Picking his phone up, he smiled at his phone screen - a photo of Varian at the library which was almost completely covered by the wall of text messages from said boyfriend. He let out a small sigh - his boyfriend absolutely adored Christmas, but...he didn’t get the appeal.

At the orphanage, Christmas wasn’t really celebrated at all, it being far too expensive to buy presents for all the kids there. The only real indication he’d had that it was the streets being decorated by a ridiculous amount of lights, a giant pine tree placed in the centre of town with a mass of baubles scattered amongst the branches. Ever after he’d left, living on the streets for a while and after Donella took him in, she’d never been caring enough to celebrate the holiday. In her eyes, it was a ‘useless, excessively capitalised holiday used to manipulate the poor into spending a mass of money at one time’ and ‘a waste of money’. It wasn’t that he didn’t agree, the holiday was vastly overrated and had turned into a way to swindle money from the poor, manipulating the true meaning, but it wouldn’t hurt to get him a gift one year. It could’ve been a small one or something work-related, he wouldn’t have minded, but he never got one.

But that was the kind of woman Donella was, always cold and unfeeling towards everyone, including her son. Kind of. Did she even see him as her son? I mean-he’d always seen her as a mother to him, since she was the one to take him in, give him a home and a purpose...but that was because, in her eyes, he was a valuable asset. She’d only taken care of him, because she could get money from his skills. He knew that - she’d always been transparent about that fact with him - but there were plenty of instances where she’d contradicted herself. Where she’d actually cared. For example, when she’d brought him his jacket.

She’d initially shoved it into his chest, wrapped in a plastic bag with her usual scowl and folded arms greeting him as his eyes met hers in confusion. Her grey hair was perfectly kept, behind her back in a braid which left the scar on her chin on full display as it jolted up towards her lip. She’d never told him how she’d got it, but he had his theories. One of his most outlandish scenarios was trying to trap her old research partner in a magical library, her partner using magic and a knife to scar the skin (11-year-old him had a wild imagination, okay?). Her sickly green eyes held annoyance in every last nook and cranny as she examined the boy in front of her’s confused expression at the package that was thrust towards his chest. “Well, aren’t you going to see what’s inside? I don’t have all day to be standing around waiting for you, Hugo.”

“Yes ma’am.” He replied hastily, hands fumbling as he unwrapped the bag and took out the cargo. It was a green jacket, a grey hood at the top of it. He raised it to his eyes and tilted his head quietly. It was a little bit, but he’d grow into it. The second thing he’d noticed was that it was really, really soft, like..absolutely amazingly soft. Like fur! He pulled the jacket’s sleeves over his arms, noting how they covered his hands completely, before he rolled the sleeves up to his elbows. It was comfy - a childish grin covering his face as he looked up at his mentor, grateful for his gift.

“Your clothes looked ratty,” she said, looking away and trying to suppress her soft smile with a hardened expression. “I got you new ones. Maybe now you’ll look even slightly presentable.” she slowly walked away, Hugo knowing her true intentions behind the present. He let out a small yet happy sigh, his hand trailing through his hair as he walked down the hall towards his workshop again. He’d have to thank her later, he noted as he pushed open the door. He guessed that all the thanks he could give would be finishing off this commission they’d been working on for the past week...that would satisfy her more than a gift or hug or anything. He hung the jacket up on a peg, sitting down on the leather stool by his desk before leaning over and getting to work.

Hugo sat up in bed, finally deciding to get up on this cursed day and standing. He stretched his legs and arms, walking to his desk to give Olivia her daily helping of sunflower seeds, which the mouse graciously accepted with a happy squeak. He yawned and grabbed some clothes from the closet, heading down the hall towards the bathroom for a shower, passing framed photos of him, his boyfriend and their friends along the way. They all got along just fine - them being Hugo, Varian, Nuru and Yong, however him and Nuru did have the occasional sarcastic quip aimed at each other, much to Varian’s annoyance. Despite the playful banter though, they got along well considering the short amount of time they’d known each other, with Varian always taking pictures so Hugo would have to ‘frame his memories’ and place them on the wall. It was sweet, especially how he’d exclusively picked frames that were painted green - a nice little detail that didn’t go unnoticed by Hugo. Still, it felt strange. He thought Varian’s dad had grounded him, so why was he allowed out so frequently to meet up? The thought weighed heavy in his mind, although it disappeared as he arrived at his final destination.

Varian sat up in his bed as soon as he’d woken up, a large smile on his face as he realised the day. “It's Christmas...It’s Christmas!” He yelled as he jumped up, startling the obese cat who was sleeping quite satisfied on his legs, curled up in a ball. The cat mewled and batted at Varian’s arms in response, the teen too excited to care as he threw open his door and sprinted down the stairs. He must’ve moved at the speed of sound, because he swore it only took him a few seconds to arrive in the kitchen, where his father stood preparing some hot chocolate and pancakes. He felt out of place in his teal pyjamas, but nonetheless he still took a seat at the table. “Good morning, Dad. Hey, that smells great!”

“Good morning to you too, son. And thank you.” he replied, placing the pancakes on a plate, picking it up in one hand and the hot chocolate in the other before setting it in front of his son. Varian wasted no time, swallowing it all down so fast, Quirin could’ve sworn he’d just inhaled the things. Chuckling at the thought, he moved and sat down beside his son. “So, we’re stopping off at Rapunzel’s for Christmas dinner aren’t we?” A nod of confirmation came from his son, who was sipping his hot chocolate. “Okay, will we be picking up your boyfriend on the way?”

Varian spat his hot chocolate out in shock at his father’s latter question. What? How did he know about Hugo? He’d never told him about the other boy before...maybe Rapunzel had told his father? No, she wouldn’t do that to him. Eugene? He scrapped that thought as soon as it came. Those two would never do that to him...would they? “No Varian. You need to trust them.” his inner voice reminded him. He composed himself as his eyes met his dad’s, who was quite obviously holding back his laughter. “I...how do you..know about him?”

“Remember the night I grounded you? Last thursday? Yeah, that's how I know.” He explained nonchalantly, leaning back in his chair and sipping his hot chocolate quietly. “I went upstairs with the intent to apologise and saw you two fast asleep and cuddling. You both looked so peaceful that I didn’t want to intrude on your moment, so I left you be and wanted to wait until you were ready to tell me.” He suddenly leaned forward, taking his son’s hands in his own with a serious expression on his face. “Son, you know I love you no matter who you’re attracted to, whether it be boys or girls. You’re still my son and I love you unconditionally. So will your Aunt Adira and Uncle Hector. And we’ll support you no matter what. Although...it would have been nice to have a formal introduction with the boy, he seems very nice.”

A smile crept onto Varian’s face as he rose to his feet, moving around the titular table to embrace his father. “Thank you so much, dad. And yes, we will have to pick him up. I want him to celebrate Christmas - it’ll be his first time celebrating too, which makes it even more special!” he paused. “I’ll let you know where his apartment is. I have a present that I...desperately wanna give him.”

“Speaking of presents..” Quirin began, rising from his chair to look down at his son. “I haven’t given you yours yet. So, follow me.” He declared, leading the way towards the basement door. They hadn’t been down there since his mother left - it used to be her old workspace for anything science related. Varian used to love going down there and watching as Ulla would experiment, combining different elements in processes he didn’t even understand. Their son would watch in wonder as, with one ribbon of metal being added, an acid would change colour, and he’d cheer so loud with the biggest smile on his face whenever Ulla let him act as her ‘lab assistant’ and let him perform his own experiments (supervised, of course).

He did miss the woman and her presence in the house. She brought so much joy to everything she passed, making even the worst of days become one of the best. It was because of her that they even celebrated Christmas, her introducing the holiday to him and the various traditions that came along with it. She really was a loving and caring woman in every way there possibly was - Varian taking after her in that department. She’d sing to their son to help him sleep as a newborn and sit by his crib all night in case he woke up in the night and needed her for anything. But they never saw the stress wearing her down, causing her to become more and more confrontational as the days went on. Hell, the divorce came out of nowhere, Ulla one day stating that she wanted one and was leaving. Nonetheless, Quirin had supported her and let her go, because she was the woman he loved. If that’s what she wanted then fine, he’d let her leave. He bit the inside on his cheek. No time to think of that - it was Christmas and by god, he was gonna enjoy himself.

The door to the basement opened and Quirin gestured for his son to go down the steps before him. Varian obliged, walking down the steps that threatened to break. They’d have to get them replaced one day, he thought as he reached the floor below and flicked on the lights. He was met with the sight of a truly magnificent sight. Tables were pushed up against the walls, a wheeled office chair placed under one. Beakers and a Bunsen burner sat on the side, beside a large stack of drawers that, upon closer inspection, were labelled and filled with all the equipment he needed, such as burets, test tubes, pipettes and micropipettes...it was simply breathtaking. He travelled further around the home lab, a coat peg in the corner with a single, white lab coat hanging from it. He immediately knew it was his mother’s from the small blue patch on the elbow of the left sleeve - a hole caused by 7-year-old him accidentally changing the Bunsen burner from the safety flame to the blue flame, his mom lunging over it to stop him from burning himself. After that, he was terrified of the burner for years after that.

“Dad, this is...this is amazing!” he gasped, running over and giving him a tight hug. “Wow! I love it so much!” he cried as he moved away and excitedly explored the room even more. Pulling on the lab coat, he flattened the creases of the lab coat. A perfect fit, he thought, before he turned to his dad with a smile. “How is it? Do I look alright?”

“You look great son, but go upstairs and get dressed. We need to pick up your boyfriend and drive over to Rapunzel and Eugene’s house, okay?” He commented, watching his son’s excitement as he placed the lab coat back on the bed and sprinted upstairs. Quirin’s gaze drifted to the lab coat. He looked just like his mother in that lab coat, it was almost uncanny. He always thought about her this time of year and how much different life was without Ulla’s constant presence in the house. Nevermind,he muttered as he walked to the stairs, flicking off the lights and travelling up the stairs. It was in the past. Now, time to prepare himself to meet his son’s boyfriend.

Hugo sat on the couch, his arms folded and pouting. There was nothing on but stupid goddamn Christmas movies! He hated them! All they did was brag that they had everything he didn’t have, like a family or gifts..it sucked. He especially hated them as a kid, wishing every year that he’d get adopted and have that one day. He’d always imagined his mom being a tall, gentle woman, who’d pick him up and put him on the counter if he’d fallen over while playing, placing a gentle kiss to his wounds before covering them with a bandaid, giving him a hug and sending him off to play. He’d also imagined his dad - a stern, blonde haired man with a soft side, who would always make time for him and show him what he did for work. They’d have good paying jobs too - his dad being a mechanic for some high-class company and his mom being a nurse. He’d had it all planned out. Especially Christmas, where he’d run down the stairs to be greeted with the sight of endless towers of presents, hugging and kissing his parents on the cheek after each one. Instead, he’d been ‘blessed’ with Donella, who couldn’t care less about him or Christmas. No parents, no luxury life, no Christmas. She snuffed out his dream on the final one really quick, being the one to tell him Santa wasn’t real (even though he already knew that, but the confirmation hurt).

He was so lost in thought that he almost missed the sound of frantic knocking at the door to his apartment. “Who the hell is that?” he muttered under his breath as he sauntered down the hall. He ran his hands over his clothes, trying to flatten any creases that might be seen before opening the door. Varian stood, his hand raised as though he was about to knock the door again, with a goliath of a man behind him, causing Hugo to swallow thickly. Oh fuck was that man large. He could probably snap Hugo in half over his knee if he felt like it. ‘Please don’t call him dad, please don’t call him dad…’ Hugo found himself praying.

“Hugh!” his boyfriend cried as he lunged forward and wrapped his arms round the blonde’s neck, who was still in shock at the sight of the man accompanying the titular teen. “Dad, this is my boyfriend, Hugo! Hugo, this is my dad!” he explained. Brilliant. Now he knew if he ever broke up with Varian (“Pfft, as if that’s gonna happen.” his inner voice reminded him, yet again butting in rudely.), he’d be assured a quick death at the hands of this titan of a man crushing his skull.

“It's a uh-a pleasure to finally meet you, sir.” he finally stuttered out, trying to uphold his usual relaxed attitude, however judging by the crack in his voice, he’d failed miserably. He held out his hand, the older man exchanging his greeting and virtually concealing Hugo’s hand in his own, it being barely visible as it was shaken before being mercifully let go. “Why are you two here, by the way. In like-the politest way possible.”

“You’re spending Christmas with us! Speaking of which, we’re meant to be at my sister’s like-right now! So! Let’s go!” he grabbed his boyfriend’s arm, only giving him enough time to grasp his coat, which had Varian’s present concealed in it, and scarf before pulling him out of the apartment and down the stairwell to the street below. Hugo listened to Varian’s rambling about their christmas traditions which didn’t seem to stop even as they got to the car and were heading towards Rapunzel and Fitzherbert’s house. Speaking of which, he’d never seen it, the only conversation he’d had with them being the...rather awkward one the day he’d asked Varian out. What a wild day that had been...it felt like forever ago, if he was being honest. It didn’t seem real that they were together at all. He gave the raven haired boy’s hand a gentle squeeze, his thumb rubbing circles into the back of his hand with a smile tugging at his lips again. He really was helpless for this boy.

The car came to a halt outside a small cottage, very different to the one he had imagined the couple would live in. It was a surprise, albeit a pleasant one - what, a cottage out here in the middle of the countryside seemed like the best place to settle down. He just couldn’t believe someone like Fitzherbert would’ve settled for that. It admittedly looked kind of cute though, lights hung from the roof carefully and around the gate. Varian, however, gave him no time to admire the beauty of the cottage, grabbing his hand and pulling him through the white-painted fence and rushing up the steps before opening the front door. “We’re here, guys!” he declared and almost immediately they were swarmed by a mass of people.

The only four people he’d noticed were Rapunzel, Eugene, Cassandra and Irene, pulling them into hugs and exchanging Christmas greetings with each other. The other three he’d recognised as Kiera, Catalina and Lance from all of the stories Varian would tell him randomly during their dates, such as how Lance had adopted them after they were orphaned (“Lucky kids.” Hugo had muttered to himself bitterly before turning away and staring out the window again). Hugo winced and grimaced at the exchanges, awkwardly returning them before heading towards where he thought the living room was.

Luckily, he was right, and he moved quickly to sit on the couch, immediately cringing at the sight of an excessively decorated and obviously fake Christmas tree sitting against the wall with a mass of presents underneath it. More reminders of the things he’d lacked all his life, he thought bitterly, before a warmth beside him broke him out of his thoughts. Varian cuddled into his boyfriend’s side, kissing his cheek gently with a soft, loving smile on his face. “Hey there, sweetheart..you enjoying yourself?” he asked, an eyebrow raised.

“Yeah, definitely. Don’t you worry your pretty little head over it.” he lied over his teeth, praying his boyfriend didn’t notice his discomfort. It must’ve been his lucky day as, other than a concerned noise, Varian seemed to take this answer as gospel and just cuddled into his side further. Hugo thrived in their moment of peace amongst the madness of Christmas, almost like the week before where they sat in the park at almost midnight just cuddling on the park bench. This only lasted a moment, however, as Rapunzel called them all in for dinner as she placed various dishes onto the table.

Everyone crowded around it, Varian holding Hugo’s hand under the table as they sat side by side (the fact that Varian was left handed helped tremendously, considering Hugo was right handed and both could hold each other’s less dominant hand) with a shy smile on his face as he, once again, answered the numerous questions on how they met. All the while, Hugo sat uncomfortably. It was all too much for him - the family, the food, the absolute love...he couldn’t take him. “Give me a minute.” he muttered as he let go of Varian’s hand, standing up and excusing himself. Hurriedly, he left the room and sat outside on the steps up to the house.

He didn’t get it. How did he deserve any of this? He was a bad person and didn’t see how someone like Varian could look at him and think that he warranted any of this. He was a thief and a liar and messed up everything good in his life. Varian would realise that one day and leave him, just like everyone else in his life did. He didn’t want to admit it but..he knew he wasn’t good enough for someone like Varian. Someone so sweet despite everything he did in his past - someone so forgiving...he didn’t deserve that. The door opened behind him, quickly shutting before footsteps stopped beside him and none other than Fitzherbert sat down beside him. “What. You come to laugh at me or something?”

“Nope. I don’t know why you’d think that.” Fitzherbert commented, looking at the troubled teen and sighing, seeing himself in the boy. He took a deep breath and looked directly ahead as he continued to talk. “I know how you’re feeling. I was an orphan too. You feel as though you don’t belong - like you don’t deserve any of this and you never will. But you do, Hugo. I know I don’t really know you that well, but I’ve been in your boat before and I know Varian well enough to know he adores you. Varian thinks the world of you and looks as though you put the stars in the sky. I’m not trying to invalidate your feelings - you deserve to feel however you want and that's okay, but you need to know that we all care about you so much and...for the record, Rapunzel was really excited to meet you again. Just letting you know, she literally texted Varian asking everything about you like your favourite flavours, colors..hell, even smells!” He let out a laugh, and so did Hugo, albeit a little weak. “You don’t have to come back in..but you can if you want.”

Hugo bit the inside of his cheek before leaning and resting his head on Eugene’s arm, letting the older man put his arm around him before bringing him into a long embrace. One that he didn’t know he needed, especially from someone like Eugene. He let out a breathy chuckle before standing up with Eugene, making their way inside and sitting beside his boyfriend again. Varian gave him a concerned look, Hugo nodding in reassurance and raising his boyfriend’s hand to his lips, kissing the back of his hand before they smiled and continued to eat.

As soon as dinner was over, Hugo found himself sitting down beside Varian on the couch yet again as the others exchanged presents. Eugene had got Rapunzel a purple frying pan (he didn’t question why, the woman seemed eccentric enough to adore the gift, gifting her boyfriend with a mass of kisses), Rapunzel bought Eugene a small ring to match her engagement ring, Irene gave Cassandra a leather jacket and Cassandra gave Irene a pink helmet to wear on the motorbike, Lance got the girls MANY presents that Hugo didn’t have the energy to remember. And that left him and Varian to exchange gifts.

Carefully they both took out their boxes for each other, trading them and opening them at the same time. Both gasped when they saw they’d both bought each other a pair of goggles! Hugo gazed at the goggles Varian had bought for him. They were circular - big enough to fit over his glasses - with orange lenses and spikes around the rim, being painted grey all over. A leather strap connected them at the back, him placing them round his neck. Varian, on the other hand, stared at his in disbelief. A small, extra magnifier was attached to the left eye of the goggles, the rims painted bronze and gold with clear, colourless lenses. They were perfect, he silently decided, leaning in closer to Hugo to place a gentle kiss to his jaw.

“These are perfect, Hugo..I..thank you so much!” he said with love and affection dripping through his words as he put the goggles on top of his head, his hands drifting to the vial around his neck and fiddling with it. It illuminated, shining a soft light across his chest and hands as he gazed down at it in wonder. He looked up at the blonde again, who looked at him with the utmost affection and a dorkish smile on his face. “Anyway, we should be heading back. It’s kinda late and I need my beauty sleep!” he joked, standing and pulling Hugo and Quirin along with him. They bid their farewells, Rapunzel extremely reluctant to let Hugo leave as she hadn’t learnt absolutely everything about him, but she let them leave after a while. They all got into the car and drove back towards Hugo’s apartment complex.

After Hugo left the car, Varian walked beside him hand in hand up to his apartment. “Hey, look at this.” Varian said as they got to the door, bringing a piece of branch out of his pocket and raising it above his head. He raised an eyebrow in confusion, looking down at his boyfriend who quickly elaborated. “It’s mistletoe so you have to kiss me!” he declared, raising himself onto his tiptoes and puckering his lips. His eyes shut and Hugo’s face took on a grin, leaning down to kiss the boy in a long, sweet kiss, pouring every bit of affection they had for each other into it.

The kiss eventually broke and Varian headed down the hall and away from Hugo for the night, the blonde sighing. He pushed open the door, however it stopped part way due to a weight in front of the door. “Huh? Weird.” he muttered, sliding in through the thin gap between the door as his eyes met a package at the door. It was green and moderately large and, after Hugo had kicked the door shut, he crouched down and reached out to read the tag on the box.

‘Merry Christmas - Donella’

Huh. That was weird. Donella ACTUALLY getting him a Christmas gift? That was unheard of in his world up until now, but he still picked it up and carried it into the living room before placing it on the glass coffee table. He slowly untied the bow and raised the lid, noticing what was inside the box. It was a new laptop - one he had been working to try and get for months now. He didn’t think she’d actually listened to him when he talked to her about it. “Well, that’s a welcome surprise.” he whispered under his breath, lifting it out to see something else tucked at the bottom of the box. Setting the laptop aside, he raised it to see another jacket - this one he immediately recognised. She’d worn it all the time when he was younger and he’d always loved it, but now..she was actually giving it to him.

This one was a dark green with a few gold and grey accents across it, the crest of her company embroidered onto the arm only as big as his thumb. He smiled happily, his fingers tracing over the material as he carried both the laptop and the jacket upstairs to his room. He’d always loved the jacket, and usually Donella was overly possessive about her property, so the fact that she was willingly giving it up for him...it was a large statement for a woman like her.

He pushed open the door and placed the two items onto his desk, changing into his pyjamas and laying down on his bed. He took off his glasses and set them aside onto his bedside table, moving to hug his pillow close to his chest and imagining it was his boyfriend. He’d have to thank them both for their gifts when he had the time.

“Y’know...maybe Christmas isn’t so bad after all.” he whispered to himself before letting himself fall asleep, a smile still plastered on his face.

#varigo #varian and the seven kingdoms #varian x hugo #varian tangled #tangled varian #hugo tangled #tangled hugo #alchemy boyfriends #varigo coffee shop au

23 notes · View notes

justforbooks · 4 years

Photo

The Lisa Computer System – Apple designs a new kind of machine

Gregg Williams Senior Editor

I had an interesting conversation with an engineer on a recent flight from San Francisco to New York. He knew only a little about microcomputers, but he was aware that their presence is slowly becoming more common in the workplace. “Sure, the industry is healthy, but it’s still only reaching a few people,” he said. “Most people won’t use computers they’re afraid of them, they don’t know what to use them for, or it’s too much trouble to use them. Before computers become really profitable, they’re going to have to be very easy to use. They have to be simpler. They’ve got to be useful in the office.”

He continued, “We’ve got to stop using paper which means the computer has to do word processing, filing, electronic mail, everything or it’ll be too much trouble having some things on the computer and others on paper. Then you’ve got to be able to talk to other computers other computers like yours and some big corporate computer that’s halfway across the country. Sure, it’s a lot of stuff, but when you get all that together, then you’ll see computers really take off.” What could I say? Not very much, for two reasons. First, he was absolutely right we need all that and more before computers become as commonplace as color TVs and electric typewriters. Second, I had agreed not to talk about a computer I had just seen that meets many of his points: Apple Computer’s highly secret Lisa computer (see photo 1).

The Lisa at Work

Before we take a detailed look at what the Lisa is and how it came about, let’s look at an example of what it can do. Suppose I’m writing a report for my boss and I want to prepare a chart to illustrate a certain point. With a few movements of the mouse (more on this pointing device later), I “tear off” a sheet of Lisa Graph “paper” (thus activating a program called Lisa Calc and displaying an empty grid on the screen) and give it the heading “Annual Sales.” I then type my numbers into the grid, name the graph and the x and y axes, and request a bar graph.

Voila: I get the bar graph (superimposed on top of the data) shown in photo 2a. At this point, I can simply print the graph or save it for inclusion with my report, but I’m not satisfied with the way it looks. I then use the mouse to “cut” the graph from the Lisa Graph paper and put it in a temporary storage place called the clipboard. I can then “throw away” the Lisa Graph “paper” I was using.

My next step is to “tear off” a sheet of Lisa Calc “paper” and paste my “Annual Sales” bar chart from the clipboard onto it. Photo 2b shows the result.

I want to make the bars darker, so I use the mouse to move the cursor (the arrow pointing diagonally up in photo 2b) onto the rectangle and tell the computer that I want to work on that bar by clicking the button on top of the mouse twice. (I could almost as easily have selected all four bars, but I’ll just do one here.) As a result, the bar is selected, as shown in photo 2c. (In the Lisa system, you first select what you want to work on, then you select the action you want performed.) The small black squares that appear on the edge of the object are called handles; not only do they show which object has been selected, they also serve as “handles” by which the cursor can move or alter a shape.

Now that the bar is selected, I move the cursor to one of the menu titles at the top of the screen (also shown in photo 2c). I see the menu of possible actions by pointing the cursor at the menu title and holding down the mouse button (photo 2d). Here, the menu is a grid of 36 varieties of shading that can be used to fill the selected area. When I move the cursor to the desired shade box and let up on the mouse button, the pop-up menu, as it is called, disappears and the shading fills the box (photo 2e).

It is equally simple to change the size, type style, and position of the title “Gross Sales.” By holding down the mouse button when the cursor points just to the left of the first letter and letting it up when the cursor points just past the last letter, I can select an area of text that the Lisa then puts in reverse video (photo 2f). When I select an option from the ‘Type Style” menu (photo 2g), the text is redisplayed in its new size and style (photo 2h). I then modify the title to an italic font in a similar way (photo 2i). Finally, I pick up the title with the cursor, “drag” it to a new location, and leave it there (photo 2j). Many other alterations are possible. When I’m satisfied with the graph, I can print it, save it, or do both.

This example conveys only a fraction of the speed and the ease of use associated with the Lisa computer and the programs that go with it. Now that we’ve seen the system at work, let’s take a look at what makes it so different.

Foundations of the Lisa Design

The design effort that resulted in the Lisa computer is remarkably innovative because the designers did what designers should do define the product’s prospective customers, determine their needs, and then design a product to meet those needs. Apple was also willing to give its designers enough time and money (with no marketing restrictions attached) to first design and then create a computer that redefines the expression “state of the art.” Granted, the Lisa’s designers drew heavily on previous work done at Xerox PARC (Palo Alto Research Center), but they refined several borrowed elements and combined them with numerous innovations. (For further information on the design process, see “An Interview with Wayne Rosing, Bruce Daniels, and Larry Tesler” on page 90.) Apple started this project with the intention of creating not only a product but the foundation for a whole new computer technology, one that would create computers literally anybody can use. The company’s first task was to devise a new user interface that is, a new and better way for humans to interact with the computer. The result was an internal (to Apple Computer Inc.) “User Interface Standards” document that describes how a user interacts with the Lisa system.

Although the Lisa design has several important elements, four stand out: the machine’s graphics-mouse orientation, the “desktop” and “data-as-concrete-object” metaphors, and the integrated design of the hardware and software. Let’s look at each of these in turn.

The graphics-mouse orientation: The traditional text display and keyboard input device make for a computer that is let’s face it not too easy to use. Apple decided that the graphics resolution of the machine had to be high enough to use pictures (often called icons by Apple) in place of text. (For example, see the icons on the right-hand side of photo 2a.) Pictures are more easily recognized and understood than text. Because of this, you can probably figure out that the garbage-can icon in photo 2a is used to throw something away.

Apple also knew that it needed a new, easier-to-use input device to move the frequently used arrow-shaped cursor. The designers passed over such devices as light pens and touch-sensitive video panels in favor of the mouse, a pointing device used in several Xerox PARC machines. The mouse, which is about the size of a pack of cigarettes, has a small bearing on the bottom and one or more buttons on the top (see photo 3). When you hold it in your hand and slide it across a flat surface, the mouse sends signals to the computer, which guide the video cursor in the direction that you’ve moved the mouse. The mouse Apple designed has only one button; Apple broke with the conventional wisdom of two- and three-button mice after user tests indicated that people aren’t always sure which button to push on a multiple-button mouse.

With graphics of sufficient quality and a mouse, the Lisa lets you get what you want by pointing at it. Because the video cursor moves in direct response to the way the hand moves the mouse, you feel as if you’re actually pointing at something on the screen. This has the positive psychological effect of making you feel in control.

The “desktop” metaphor: When you turn on the Lisa system, the screen is empty except for the presence of several icons. The Lisa computer depends on the metaphor that the video display is a desktop, while the icons are objects on the desktop. Each peripheral connected to the Lisa (floppy and hard disks, printers, and other peripherals connected by interface cards) is represented on the desktop by either an icon (if it is not in use) or a rectangular area called a window (if it is available for use). The Lisa computer normally replaces the conventional file directory with a collection of objects displayed in the window of the associated mass-storage device. Each file is represented by an object of some sort usually a report, a tool, or a document and objects can be grouped together in folders, which are also treated as objects. (Actually, the computer can give you a conventional directory on request, but only traditional computer users will ask for this option.) An example of the Lisa file system will illustrate how useful this metaphor is. From a cleaned-up desktop with nothing but icons on the right of the screen, I use the mouse to point to the Profile (hard disk) icon and click the mouse button twice; this has the effect of “opening” the Profile and displaying its contents. The Profile icon changes to a white silhouette and its original black-on-white shape expands to a window named “Profile.” ( Photo 4a was taken after three items shown as black icons had been selected for manipulation. When the Profile icon is first opened, all of the icons inside it are white that is, unselected.) To view and then work with the contents of the Tools folder, I put the cursor on the folder and click the mouse button twice. The icon expands, leaving a gray silhouette and a window named “Tools,” as shown in photo 4b. The window is just that a window into whatever the Tools folder contains. The symbols on the margin of each window are points from which the cursor can direct several operations on the window. For example, when the cursor points to the small folder icon in the upper left-hand corner of the Tools window and the mouse button is clicked twice, the folder “closes” and the video display reverts to the image it had before the folder was opened.

If the Tools folder contains more than the window can show, you can do one of two things to see the additional contents. First, you can scroll the window either horizontally or vertically. Second, you can put the cursor on the expand/contract icon (in the lower right-hand corner of the window), hold down the mouse button, and move the cursor. An outline of the window follows the cursor (photo 4c); when the mouse button is released, the window grows to its new size (photo 4d).

Once you’ve been shown the mechanics of manipulating objects and windows, you have a working knowledge of several essential operations of the Lisa file system (called the “Desktop Manager”). The desktop metaphor does two things for you. It helps you to remember certain operations because they make sense in the context of the object-related icons. Second, it draws on your general knowledge of office supplies and how they are used. These elements help Apple achieve its objective of creating a system that people can learn to use some aspect of in under 30 minutes.

The “data-as-concrete-object” metaphor: More than anything else, this metaphor is the foundation of the Lisa computer design and its probable success. As you can see from the example above, the Lisa file system makes you feel as if you are actually moving and changing objects, not merely manipulating abstract data. The Lisa Graph/Lisa Draw example shown in photos 2a through 2j creates the same illusion, as do all the other Lisa application programs.

The “data-as-concrete-object” metaphor depends on a condition most computer programs don’t fulfill: that intuitively reasonable operations can be performed on objects at any time. Most computer programs have modes that restrict your activities at any given time; for example, many word-processing programs don’t let you do numeric calculations and then incorporate them into the document you’re writing. With the Lisa application programs, however, you can switch your attention from a sheet of Lisa Write “paper” to a sheet of Lisa Calc “paper” and back with no problem, just as you could if they were two sheets of paper on your desk.

Because you deal with recognizable objects such as folders and reports, you feel secure in the knowledge that your data will not disappear. “After all,” it seems to be telling you, “computer files can mysteriously disappear, but folders, reports, and tools do not. If a file disappears, there’s a logical explanation â€” either you threw it away or you filed it elsewhere. In either case, the situation is still under your control.” In other words, the “data-as-concrete-object” metaphor demystifies the computer by transforming data into physical objects that behave in a predictable and reasonable way.

Integrated design: Not only is the Lisa computer the result of an integrated design, it is also the result of an iterated one. The Lisa hardware and software were designed only after Apple had identified the needs of its target users. Once a given version of the system was implemented, it was tested by the kind of people who would eventually be using it. The test findings dictated hardware and software changes, and Apple went through the design/test/revise cycle several times until everybody was satisfied with the result. This ensures that the Lisa does not fall prey to a problem common to microcomputers: being technologically sophisticated, but still hard or inconvenient to use.

During the iterations of the design process, the Apple design team looked for opportunities to have separate Lisa programs do their tasks in the same way. It then incorporated these common operating procedures into the Apple user-interface standard and tried to apply them to other Lisa programs. The result is a large amount of common behavior and structure among all the Lisa programs. For example, you enlarge or move a window the same way whether it is a Lisa Calc window or a Lisa Draw window. You also open, close, copy, and rename objects the same way throughout the system.

According to Apple, this attempt at standardization has two advantages. First, it shortens the time an average person takes to become comfortable with a system from a range of 20 to 40 hours (Apple’s estimate, based on tests it conducted) to several hours. Second, it lets you apply what you learn in one program to all other programs.

This commonality among Lisa programs is largely ‘ responsible for the ease with which beginners learn how to do something useful on the Lisa computer; it usually takes less than half an hour, even for people who have never sat in front of a computer before.

The Lisa Application Programs

The Lisa system will be offered with six application programs. Both new packages and improved versions of the first six programs will be offered at a later date, and in time third-party software developers working with cooperation from Apple will create additional programs. At this writing, no price had been set for the programs, but Apple expects them to cost between $300 and $500 each, a justifiable price for programs of this caliber.

I don’t have room here to describe all the features of each program. Instead, I will comment briefly on each one and say that, in general, all of them have more options and features than most people will use. (See photos in which popup menus are visible for an idea of some of the commands available.) One in particular deserves mention: the “Undo Last Change” command, which is available in every program. This wonderful command lets you undo the effects of the last one you issued. It’s a tremendous security blanket that enables you to experiment and work without worrying about making an irrevocable mistake.

Here are the six application programs (a telecommunications program, Lisa Terminal, is covered in the section on “Communications and Databases.”): Lisa Draw is easily the showpiece of the Lisa system. The example in photos 2b through 2j shows only a small part of what it can do. See photos 2d, 2g, and 5a through 5d for some of the pop-up menus. Lisa Draw enables you to draw lines, boxes, circles and * ellipses, arcs, and polygons all with the mouse. You can add text at any place in any of 11 typeface/size combinations. In addition, you can modify any typeface with any combination of underline, bold, italic, hollow, and shadow styles for a combination of 11 X 25 or 352 distinct kinds of type. Lisa Draw has grids and rulers that can be displayed to help make drawings neat. Shapes can be selected and centered by a given horizontal or vertical edge. You also put Lisa Draw in an “auto-grid” mode that causes lines and shapes to align themselves with the grid you have chosen. Drawings can cover as many as 25 pages; Lisa Draw prints them out a page at a time and you join the edges together to make a larger drawing a convenient feature if your drawing can’t fit on one page. This program is a joy to use.

Lisa Write is the best “what-you-see-is-what-you-get” word processor I’ve seen. Between the keyboard and the mouse, you can add, change, delete, and move text, change its appearance, reformat it, and do just about anything you’d want to in a word processor. Of course, you can see each page exactly as it will appear on paper (see photo 6). My only criticism of the program is that the version I saw paused a second or so between when I typed a phrase and when it appeared on the screen. The delay is due to the large amount of processing the machine has to do before it can display the new text (and perhaps scroll other text down), but the designers are aware of the problem and are working on minimizing the time delay in the final version.

Lisa Project is used to keep track of projects and personnel, and it does so using PERT (Program Evaluation and Review Technique), Gantt, and task charts. Using the mouse and the keyboard, you can add, delete, move, change, and label activity boxes. Each box contains the activity name and its personnel and time requirements. The Lisa Project program displays the PERT chart (see photo 7a), drawing a heavy outline around the activity boxes on the critical path (a path of activities for which delays will lengthen the duration of the project). The program can also optionally use such information as worker vacation times and the length of the work week to influence the final chart. You can also have the program show the early-start, early-finish, late-start, and late-finish dates associated with the PERT method. The Gantt chart (photo 7b) shows resource utilization over time, including unutilized resources (shown in gray). The task chart (not shown) displays tasks by their early-start date.

Like the rest of the Lisa system, Lisa Project gives you incredibly clear error messages. For example, when you try to take the “end” circle off the screen, you get the error shown in photo 7c, which must be answered before you can continue.

Lisa Calc is as sophisticated a spreadsheet program as any other on the market. In this instance, I don’t think the mouse improves on cursor keys because one hand has to alternate between the mouse (to move the spreadsheet cursor) and the keyboard (to enter data into the spreadsheet cells). In any case, most people who want a Lisa computer are interested in the kind of structured numeric recalculation that spreadsheets are good at, and Lisa Calc certainly fills this need. Of course, data can be traded between Lisa Calc and other Lisa programs without restriction, which means, for example, that you can “paste” a section of spreadsheet data into a document being prepared by Lisa Write. Photos 8a and 8b show the process of displaying the formula of each cell along with its value.

Lisa List, a single-user database that permits records of up to 100 fields totaling 1000 bytes, probably illustrates best the “data-as-concrete-object” metaphor. When you add, change, or search for records, you work directly on the list visible in the window, not on an auxiliary display (like a data-entry screen) that limits you to working on the current record only. Record fields are defined as being one of eight data types (text, number, date, money, time, social-security number, phone number, or zip code), and Lisa List does automatic type-checking during data entry. Photo 9 shows an example of a Lisa List window. One slight problem is that the social-security number, phone number, and zip code fields have fixed formats for example, zip codes are limited to five digits. You must revert to the general-purpose text format if you want to be able to convert to 9-digit zip codes or use foreign telephone numbers.

Lisa List has many attractive features. Of course, you can display or print parts of the list in many ways; you can sort the list in several ways or select records according to given criteria. You can move the cursor with either the mouse or the arrow keys. The contents of fields are stored internally in a compact form to increase the overall storage capacity of the program. In addition, Lisa List has two very useful features that every database should have: the ability to add fields to or change field widths in an existing file and the ability to put any amount of information in a field regardless of its stated width (field width influences only how much data is visible).

Lisa Graph is an application program that creates a bridge between the number-oriented Lisa Calc and the picture-oriented Lisa Draw. Lisa Graph takes a matrix of numbers (entered either by the user from Lisa Graph or transferred from another source) and creates virtually instantly a bar, line, mixed bar and line, scatter (x-y plot), or pie chart. Photo 2a shows a typical Lisa Graph window, and the sequence of photos 2a through 2j shows how Lisa Draw can customize a drawing from Lisa Graph.

Reliability

Computers are worthless if nobody uses them, and the i Lisa system has made great strides toward eliminating that possibility. Certainly, it has been designed to be easy to use. But the Lisa system will probably be used by computer novices because of its reliability, both in the physical and psychological sense.

Physical reliability is the kind that makes an engineer feel secure. Apple IIs, for instance, have a reputation for being very reliable, and I’m sure that the Lisa computer was engineered with even more care. (For example, the Lisa is constructed as a series of modules, any one of which you can pull out without tools. And despite its internal complexity, it was engineered to dissipate excess heat without a cooling fan that’s engineering!) I can’t say how reliable the Lisa is overall because I don’t have enough direct experience with it. But I do know that Apple has concentrated on improving the reliability of the source of a great many problems: the floppy disk. Despite the features of the Lisa disk drive that put it at the leading edge of disk technology (see the text box “The Lisa Hardware” for more details), Apple claims that the hardware (assisted by its sophisticated disk-accessing software) has an error rate so low that Apple couldn’t quantify it during tests. Apple said, however, that the hardware makes less than one error in one trillion (1012) operations.

Apple has also adopted a redundant data structure for information on the disk that lessens (or sometimes eliminates) the effect of losing a sector of information. This redundancy is on three levels blocks, files, and The Lisa Hardware.

Reporting on the technical specifications of a computer toward the end of an article is unusual for BYTE, but it emphasizes that the why of Lisa is more important than the what. For part of the market, at least, the Lisa computer will change the emphasis of microcomputing from “How much RAM does it have?” to “What can it do for me?” For example, it is almost misleading to say that the Lisa comes with one megabyte of RAM, even though the fact itself is true. That doesn’t mean that the Lisa is sixteen times better than machines that have 64K bytes of RAM. Nor does it necessarily mean that the Lisa can work on much larger data files than other computers; its application programs each take 200K to 300K bytes, which significantly reduces the memory available for data. It’s more instructive to say, for example, that the Lisa with one megabyte can hold a 100-row by 50-column spreadsheet (as its advertisements state). With this in mind, let’s take a look at the Lisa.

“Lisa” stands for Local Integrated Software Architecture, but it’s really just an excuse to retain Apple’s pet name for the project. The Lisa has a 68000 microprocessor, which is a true 16-bit microcomputer that has a 16-bit data bus, a 24-bit address bus (giving access to 16 megabytes of memory), and 32-bit-wide registers (all but the 16-bit status register). The 68000 in the Lisa runs at a frequency of 5 MHz. It can have up to 1 megabyte of memory with parity and comes standard with one megabyte (1024K bytes).

The video display is a 12-inch monochrome monitor (black and white, not tinted) with a resolution of 720 by 364 pixels. The interlaced image is refreshed at 60 Hz, which eliminates the possibility of eyestrain from subliminal flickering. The video display is completely generated by internal software, so the Lisa can use multiple character sizes and fonts without restriction. It also means that Apple is not restricted to any one style of video image; the designers can radically change the behavior of the system with a new release of software.

The Apple 871 disk drives design (called “twiggy drives” inside the company) are significantly different from conventional floppy-disk drives. Each one uses a 6504 microprocessor as a “smart” interface between it and the Lisa. The drives use special high-density, double-sided floppy disks that have two oval cutouts in the jacket (see photo below). These are essential because the two disk heads, in addition to being on opposite sides of the flat magnetic media, are not pointed at each other with the magnetic media between them, as is the case in all other double-sided floppy-disk drives. Instead, a pad presses the rotating magnetic media to the disk head on the opposite side of the media as is conventionally done with single-headed floppy disks.

Each formatted disk holds 860K bytes of information at a density of 62.5 tracks per inch; together the two drives (standard on the Lisa) hold 1.72 megabytes of data. Each drive also contains a mechanism that releases the disk for removal under program control, which prevents the user from removing a floppy disk prematurely. As with other Apple products, the floppy disks rotate only when the drives are reading or writing data, thus extending the lives of both the drives and the medium.

Apple has done several things to achieve its unusually high data density. The designers used an encoding scheme that keeps a constant data density of 10,000 bits per linear inch; this allows the outer floppy-disk tracks, which have a larger circumference, to store more data than the tracks nearest the center of the disk. In addition, the disk-access system software can move the disk heads in fractions of a track width to search for and find the middle of the track. That’s an important feature when you’re reading disks with small variations in track width.

In addition, the Lisa comes with one Profile (Apple’s 5-1/4-inch Winchester-type hard disk) to the Lisa through its parallel port. It adds 5 megabytes of magnetic storage to the Lisa system, and speeds up the overall operation of the system. Additional Profiles can be added via interface cards.

The Lisa computer is never really turned off. It stores “system preferences” (things like speaker volume and video contrast) and system-configuration information inside the computer. Even when it is turned “off,” it draws enough power to keep the clock/calendar and CMOS memory containing the above information working. When it’s unplugged (for example, when it’s being moved to another location), internal batteries preserve the clock/calendar status and CMOS memory for up to 20 hours.

The Lisa includes two programmable serial ports and one parallel port as well as three expansion-board slots, each of which connects directly to the system bus and has direct memory access (DMA) capabilities. Because none of these slots is filled in any “basic” configuration of the Lisa, they are available for future expansion (unlike the IBM Personal Computer’s five slots, most or all of which are used for much-needed video-display and memory cards). Other features include a built-in speaker and a real-time clock (which can be programmed to execute tasks or turn the computer itself on or off at a given time), a microprocessor-controlled detachable Selectric-style keyboard, and a mouse.

I must thank Apple for including something I’ve wanted to see for a long time: unique serial numbers encoded into memory. The Lisa has two of these: an actual serial number disks and a given level in error is correctable by data in the next lower level. On the block level, each 512-byte block of data has a 24-byte area of hint bytes. These identify the file to which the block belongs and its block number within the file. On the file level, each file contains a header that duplicates information in the disk catalog. On the disk level, each floppy disk keeps a file of information about the status of each file on the disk. The Lisa system software automatically tries to reconstruct information that is lost, so it recovers from errors that would halt other computers.

Psychological reliability is the kind that makes an office worker secure. The Lisa floppy-disk drive is unique in this respect. On the Lisa computer, you can’t yank your floppy disk out any time you want to (if you could, you might, for example, remove the disk before files on it are updated). Instead, you press the Disk Request button beside the disk-drive slot. The software in the Lisa computer checks your work space, closes any files belonging to that disk (thus updating the file), then ejects the floppy disk so you can remove it.

A similar thing happens when you turn the Lisa “off” (actually, it’s never completely off; it just goes into a low-power mode). In any case, when you hit Off button, system software automatically closes all open files, thus transferring the information in them to their respective floppy disks, and releases the disks from the Lisa disk drives. In addition, the software records the status of the “desktop” so that, when the computer is reactivated, Lisa automatically returns it to the appearance and state it was in when the Lisa was turned “off.” Although those who have worked with computers before will find these features hard to get used to, most newcomers will be reassured by them.

The design of the Lisa application programs (which are the only things most Lisa users will see) is another example of psychological reliability. Many people have vague fears of computer programs because they think they’ll do something wrong and cause a catastrophe that will make them look foolish. This won’t happen with the Lisa system for two reasons. First, the Lisa software is designed to be very understandable. The metaphors make people comfortable with the manipulation of data, error messages are both clear and complete and tell you what alternatives you have, and, in general, the programs let you know where you stand and the consequences of a given action. Second, the Lisa computer has the “Undo Last Change” command mentioned earlier. With this command, even the most uncertain users will not hesitate to act in a way they think is appropriate. The way Lisa programs work, the user probably is right, and if he isn’t, he knows he can undo whatever happens. People who won’t trust most computer programs will trust Lisa programs.

Communications and Databases

As the engineer I talked to pointed out, no computer is going to be the most important piece of equipment in an office unless it can easily interact with other computers. This need has been integrated into the design of the Lisa system in several ways.

First, a communications program called Lisa Terminal allows the Lisa computer to emulate several popular terminals (Digital Equipment Corporation’s VT52 and VT100 terminals and Teletype Corporation’s ASR-33). The Lisa Terminal program includes all the options that a given terminal allows, even down to simulated status lights. A future Apple terminal program will enable the Lisa to emulate the IBM 3270 family of terminals.

Second, Lisa computers can be connected together via a new local network called Apple Net, which Apple hopes to promote as an industry standard because it feels that other networks have major cost or performance problems. According to Apple, Apple Net meets four criteria that it thinks are important: it can be easily installed by the user, it is highly reliable, it is easily extendable to include more nodes or to interface with other networks (like Ethernet and other Apple Net networks), and it has a low per-node (under $500) cost. A-Net has a bandwidth of 1 megabit per second, can have up to 128 nodes, uses a shielded two-conductor wire for interconnecting nodes, and can have a maximum node-to-node distance of 2200 feet. Apple Net uses the same method as Ethernet to avoid message collisions (CSMA/CD carrier-sense, multiple access with collision detection) and is compatible with the Ethernet on the top five of the seven levels of communication protocol. For those who want it, though, Apple will also make Ethernet interfaces available at a cost of about $1500 per node.

Third, Apple has distant plans to make it possible for Lisa computers to talk to non-Lisa computers and to shared or remote databases. Although the people at Apple did not discuss specific products, they told me enough to assure me that they are planning extensions in this direction that will make it even more useful.

When these items are available for the Lisa, Apple will have overcome a very big problem: really integrating the computer into the full office environment. That usually includes both local and remote computers. Whatever the needs of a given office, the above products ensure that the Lisa computer will be as useful as any other “office automation” product available from other companies.

Service

The people I talked to at Apple made it clear that, with regard to Lisa, they were going to offer better service options than any other computer company, including IBM, DEC (Digital Equipment Corporation), and Wang. A diagnostic program called Lisa Test (supplied with the Lisa) enable it to isolate the computer failure to a single board or component; in the case of severe problems (when the disk drives aren’t working, for example), a built-in test program that runs whenever the Lisa is turned on will diagnose and report on the problem. As I mentioned before, the Lisa is designed so that you can take it apart without tools (a detailed manual explains how).

Apple offers several service options. If you have on-site service (available through a joint agreement with RCA), you simply call Apple and let a service person fix the problem. For large-quantity customers, Apple can provide training to teach employees how to do in-house repairs. For individuals, Apple Care Carry-In Service is available.

In addition, Apple is planning what it calls Direct Phone Support. For a yearly fee, the user will have access to a toll-free number that is answered by a highly trained support person. Apple has high standards for this service, and I’m sure that, once the service has started and is running smoothly, Apple will deliver what it promises. The company expects its representatives to answer 90 percent of the calls received; people whose problems cannot be answered immediately will be called back when the answer is found. If equipment needs to be repaired, the Direct Phone Support person will call the appropriate repair people and dispatch working modules, so that one call will usually solve the problem. Different support-option plans available will range from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. weekday service to 24-hour-a-day, 7-day-a-week call-in support. Apple also plans to provide software revisions and support through this option, although details had not been decided on at this writing.

Documentation and Training

I have seen only drafts of miscellaneous pieces of Lisa documentation, but they indicate that the final documentation will be superb. Apple plans to provide the Lisa Guide, an interactive teaching program about the Lisa system, and reference books for each application package; each reference book will begin with a short tutorial section that will get users doing useful tasks in under half an hour. Other documentation may be included, but the information was not available at the time we went to press.

Even though the Lisa is meant to be a very easy product to use, Apple will provide training to make sure that people learn how to use it. As one Apple spokesperson put it, “Training is part of the Lisa product.” Apple will offer extensive training to all Apple dealers and to selected groups from companies that make large-volume Lisa purchases. Apple will also make training kits available to multiple-unit purchasers to help them train their employees. Individual Apple dealers may offer additional special training.

Future Plans

In the microcomputer industry, products are generally announced early (sometimes before they are designed) and released in preliminary versions before all the features have been integrated into them. Apple is to be commended for resisting this practice. In fact, the company seems to have released a more complete first version of the Lisa than most companies do with their products; the first Lisa sold will be a fine machine.

However, the ambitious and talented people who designed and implemented the Lisa computer have already envisioned and planned for quite a bit more than they can implement by release date. I’m sure they have some ideas they don’t want to publicize (and rightly so), but here are some things they were willing to talk about: By 1984, Apple plans to replace its 512K-byte memory card (two of which can be fitted into the Lisa computer) with 1-megabyte cards, thus increasing the memory capacity from 1 to 2 megabytes.

As soon as possible, Apple plans to introduce versions of BASIC, Pascal, and COBOL for the Lisa. The BASIC will be compatible with Digital Equipment Corporation’s BASIC Plus (unlike IBM Personal Computer BASIC, it will be able to use the extra memory above the first 64K bytes). The first releases of these languages will be “plain vanilla” versions that don’t interact with the computer’s special features (e.g., mouse control of the cursor, windows, the “desktop” metaphor), but later versions will probably integrate these languages into the Lisa system. Another language that will be available for the Lisa computer is Smalltalk. I was pleased to see Smalltalk working on a Lisa computer a year and a half has passed since our special Smalltalk issue in August 1981, and no commercially available computer to date has used it. Smalltalk on the Lisa computer will change that. It is a very “possessive” language that directly controls the machine it is implemented on, so it will probably never be integrated into the Lisa environment but then, it doesn’t need to be.

Smalltalk is just one example of a language/operating system that can occupy the Lisa machine. The Lisa will also support Digital Research’s CP/M family of operating systems and Microsoft’s Xenix (a licensed version of Unix that includes business-related extensions). Outside developers will be encouraged to carry operating systems acrossâ€”one such possibility is Softech Microsystems’ UCSD p-system.

Apple will be making enhancements to the existing Lisa application programs. On first release, the only limitation in sharing data among Lisa application programs is that you won’t be able to “paste” graphic images into a Lisa Word text document (you can, however, add text to a Lisa Draw drawing). Bruce Daniels, one of the Lisa designers, told me that the design allows for adding graphics to a text document but that they simply can’t implement the feature in time for the first software release. It will be added by the next release.

Apple is very conscious of the fact that the success of the Lisa will be heavily influenced by the availability of good third-party software. To encourage such software, the company will make available a “programmer’s toolkit” package of software and documentation sometime this year. This toolkit will give third-party programmers all the information they need to build on the considerable utility software (window-control, disk-accessing, intelligent graphic-redrawng, and memory-management routines, for example) already available in the Lisa operating system. (The operating system itself is about half a megabyte of code, though only 200K to 300K bytes of it are resident in memory at the same time.) In addition, the toolkit will list the user-interface conventions that were used to create the existing six application pack-ages and will strongly suggest that third-party software will be better received (by both Apple and the consumer) if it follows these conventions. The Apple-generated application programs are so wonderful that most programmers will consider it an achievement to create similar software.

Caveats

I wrote this article after working with a Lisa computer for several hours and studying various Lisa documents. The application packages were completely functional, but I was told changes were still being made to them. The released versions of software may be faster because debugging aids were probably slowing down the version I saw.

Performance

The Apple Lisa was faster than I remembered a similar machine being (an experimental Xerox machine running Smalltalk) and faster than I expected it to be. Granted, a 68000 microprocessor is in the computer, but it was being asked to do a lot including the manipulation of 32K bytes of video-display memory. Objectively, I must report some delays (30 seconds, maybe) when loading in files, but these were shorter than what I usually encounter using CP/M-based business programs. In any case, I didn’t notice any delays while actually using a given program, which is where you spend most of your time, anyway. I expect that the Lisa computer you’ll see in Apple showrooms will be slightly faster than the one I saw.

Conclusions

As you can tell, I am very impressed with the Lisa. I also admire Apple for deciding to make the system with-out being unduly influenced by cost or marketing constraints. The Lisa couldn’t have been developed without such a deep commitment, and no other company I can think of could afford such a project or would be interested in doing it this way (the Lisa project reportedly cost over $50 million and used more than 200 person-years of effort!). In terms of the actual, as opposed to symbolic, effect it will have on both the microcomputer and the larger-computer market, the Lisa system is the most important development in computers in the last five years, easily outplacing IBM’s introduction of the Personal Computer in August, 1981.

As this went to press, Apple announced that the Lisa will be sold in one configuration only: the computer with 1 megabyte of RAM, two floppy-disk drives, the Profile hard disk, the six application programs (Lisa Draw, Lisa Write, Lisa Project, Lisa Calc, Lisa List, and Lisa Graph), and Lisa Test diagnostic program; the price of this package is $9995; it will be available in the U.S. this spring, and modified foreign-language versions will be available this summer.

Fortunately for us, the history of computing does not stop with the Lisa. Technology, while expensive to create, is much cheaper to distribute. Apple knows this machine is expensive and is also not unaware that most people would be incredibly interested in a similar but less expensive machine. Well see what happens.

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at http://justforbooks.tumblr.com

#JUST FOR BOOKS #Apple Lisa

6 notes · View notes

sweet-xoxo-thatcares · 3 years

Text

Pan? Polysexual sounds better now

Back to guys, gay girls, nonbinaries, pan, bi, gender-fluid, and queer people.

I might have to take a recap on matches who are trans for right now,

I still have a lot to learn about what my true identity is for right now.

Because I really can't stick to just one label...

Aye, that's just me. And dating apps are starting to feel like a job, there's too many people matching with me and trying to remember names is getting a lot to handle when you're on 3 different apps and about 20 conversations going at the same time. And still 99 people waiting on you to swipe right on them, on each one. And plus I'm not as picky about looks as I was before, so I'm mostly reading just bios, analyzing photos to see what could be their interests in, and making sure I'm not being too passive on red flags when people talk to you.

I will admit, I still swipe right on them if they're trans and I'm attracted to them. I just know me, I'd rather date someone who was fully transitioned or somebody who is still on the nonbinary, before part. Only because I know me.

I had to watch someone I had already grown into getting to know and getting attached to, and then when I finally got comfortable with them for over a yr, they changed that drastically during those 3months we were separate and I had no idea about it.....I'm not sure if I could watch it happen before my eyes. Cause then I would have to miss the way they were before, because of my attraction to their naturally mixed feminine/masculine looking features and actions. So, ideally I wouldn't have changed anything about them.

I don't wanna grow attached to a voice or a face or a body that will no longer be there tomorrow. I know that person before is still in there, but it's different when you're romantically attracted to them, been intimate with them vs when you're just a friend. My experience shocked and scared my paranoia and fear of change. I remember crying when my dad started growing white and grey hairs in his beard. Cause I never want my dad to change, cause I've grown up with him being this strong man that always was there for me, held me, made me feel safe, calmed me down when I had my moments, and tucked me in when I wanted to feel comfortable. He showed me that he always loved me, always cared about me, and that he was never gonna leave me. As if he's never gonna die during my time on this earth. Seeing his greyishly, white hairs, I thought death and that my daddy will soon no longer be the fun, happy, strong dad that I've always been with as his princess. And that's kind of what vibe this particular person was to me, even though they weren't as smart, strong, or always there for me....cause most of the time my nights alone cause they couldn't or didn't know I needed them to be there fo r me like that to feel loved or just to feel wanted. Cause I couldn't speak up.

But now, that they has turned into a he. I feel like its brutally denying me to chance to not only say goodbye to them as they, but I would have to get reacquainted to HE, with a totally different name, maybe different personality, maybe different sexuality, and I won't know if I like the new evolved version of this person. The fear of the unknown is high for me. Especially when there's a 40% rate of fems that decided to change their sexual orientation after taking testosterone. I 'm possessive about my partners and I would hate to know that after seeing this person physically change and go through so much emotional/mental changes that one day they decide "Hey, I think I like men now, I wanna give this a shot. Could we make this work?"

I would tell Him, to go right ahead and go on a date with that coworker or guy on Tinder/Grinder. But I'm not gonna be here when you come home. Because to me that's some bullshit. And I've known this person well enough to know, that they don't mind using other people to meet their sexual needs that I can't possibly give them due to my actual gender and my body as such. I wouldn't want to share my partner, nor watch them get fucked by another man...because I'm not a man, im a woman...theres a huuuuuugggeeee difference.

And if it ever came to that point 3 yrs later and He became someone I didn't know anymore, because of the hormones changing how they feel as a man, dysphoria gone....I get it, you've hated yourself for years and now you're happy in the dream body you always asked for. But, I would be scared to lose you, to whoever else you decide to open up to in your selections. Cause you're that type to leave to please you and not make it work. I don't want somebody who changes their mind all the time about who they wanna be, who else do they wanna smash, and who else they can flirt with. That's cheater mentality.

And I'm sorry trans community that I'm basing my recent experience with someone as the example for the rest of you. Because I know there are some ftm's who've already changed and stayed with their partners. I just don't know if I could trust this process, knowing the effects, the research on whether or not they become completely detached to women or become bisexual... I can't.

And I'm thankful for the ftm's that have been posting youtube videos and tiktoks for viewers like me who are curious about the possible cons, and physical or emotional changes they've overcome. I was shocked the first time I ever watched a bandaged ftm, who finally unrevealed their scars from top surgery. I've always been preparing myself for this. Because I knew one day, that this cute, fluffy, soft skinned, white latino looking, but really just mixed mocha, nonbinary person was gonna be...changed over a year or so. I thought I could prepare for it, so that when it does happen it doesn't hurt as much to watch to them in pain if the bleeding from the scars are irritating them or if one day they're super cranky and obnoxious for what seems to be no reason. Or if one day they end up feeling they dont need anybody like Zanthos, with the 4 avenger rings lol.

But I'm too damn fucking sensitive. I was born this way. I've always prepared myself with the worst and the best information, that way when it does happen, the tidal wave of emotions from the reaction, doesn't end up torching my soul or blowing me out the water. Cause I am gay. I adore women, men, and when I met this person I loved them as an in-betweener as nonbinary. They are so brutally harsh, twisted, manipulative, jealous, and possesive. But I've always liked that they had these emotions inside of them that they hold back because they don't wanna seem so soft, always hiding this feminine quality about them because ideally, they're pretty looking, gorgeous eyes that can turn black cold like obsidian, and those fucking cheeks and cat nose. I've only seen the slight hips, but I didn't mind it. And they've always hid their body away even when we would try to have sex. I knew the dysphoria was there, cause again I prepared myself to be patient and kind.

So, I'm glad they're turning a new leaf to make themselves feel more confident about being recognized in society as a full, grown ass man. I'm pretty sure HE, is gonna get cocky af, cause that's just the way he was when they were they.

I know it's selfish of me to say, but I'm afraid of what will happen down the line years later. But that's just me being afraid. If He ends up not liking me anymore, I know it won't be the end of the world and I walked away at the right time when I did. Because this person is currently separated from me, and I'm still insecure about that part too. Not knowing how they are during this transition for what may become years or not...I hope HE is doing okay and not piercing everyone with their new, world domination, ego.

I just don't wanna imagine them get fucked by a guy....sorry that's just me. And will their buttery ass kisses, still be as sweet anymore?

Will I be ok with HE having chest hair?

Will I love the sound of their new voice or will I just hate it, while still missing the old, brodie, sexy, slightly feminine voice?

Especially when they used to go all soft and cuddly on me over the phone, it was soooo cuteeee. I miss our phone and text conversations.

Will they grow into another relationship with somebody else because they started to become unattached and unattracted to my body, my tits, my hips, my vagina even....just because they completely changed their identity?

And I still a woman? I've only thought about wearing a binder a couple of times, and yes, I do watch ftm and trans porn because I did like the fantasy of being intimate with someone who had a bigger clit size or just having a big clit of my own that felt like a dick.

I'm willing to admit that. Because let's be honest, boys get away with so much more shit as a male, compared to us females.

I wish I could grow a dick overnight and nobody not know I'm still a chick! Lol, but I still don't like the all over hair body growth and I still want my vagina back. Like a rental suit with an actual dick and no tits. Those are the onllyyyyyyyyy things I've thought about, but would never admit out loud. Only because I still like my body and my gender identity as is. I feel like the blue girl from X-Men could get away with it, cause she can be anybody she wants to and go back to being herself at the end of the day. And still camouflage behind walls. Lucky chick. Especially if she could teleport, oh he'll yeah.

It's gonna take me awhile to get over this, so please be patient with me. As I'm trying not to cry as I watch my ftm porn get fucked by a guy. Cause I used to be heavy into it, now I feel wrong for watching it and then I'm reminded "40% chance, you're watching it" 😞🤮😫

3 notes · View notes

iamskypizzaaaaaa · 4 years

Text

EMPOWERMENT TECHNOLOGY

EMPOWERMENT TECHNOLOGY INNOVATION THROUGH SUCCESS

Based, Of the previous lessons that I have learned about this subject; Is how does The world continue to innovate and lived with the modern technology that serves as a necessity for every human activity. Technology brings us together even from a distance. This subject avails us to gather more information typically to students like me who find reading tons of books just to come up with specific information. Empowerment Technologies as associated with Technology, lead the way to the Internet that gives aid in making our lives easier and convenient, therefore every one of us acknowledges the Internet as a reliable source for more knowledge to develop and accomplish more things that a person is unable or difficult to do. Along with it, I understand more that links in with the use of different devices such as mobile phones, computers, laptops, and many more devices making our lives more sufficient and less time-consuming.

HISTORY OF THE COMPUTER

In our first lesson, I’ve learned about the history of the computer. On how does computer started and how it changes, innovate in a span of years. In addition to that, it also taught me about basic computer understanding like how does it start and how does it work. From this subject I’ve also learned about the different search engines that will be very helpful for us to gather the information that is relevant and advance. Not just that, E-Tech also enhances and expanded my vocabulary and one’s own spatial and critical thinking. These words that I have learned from this subject are of course are all related to technology. For example, those abbreviated words that are difficult for me to understand and to determine. With the help of this subject, I became more knowledgeable about what is the use of typical; devices. For instance, the word “bug”, before I’m not familiar with any terminologies related to “bug” but the insect only word is the thing that crosses my mind, but on the computer, bugs may have subtle effects or cause the program to crash or freeze the computer. The difference between USB and Flash drive also became clearer to me.

ONLINE SAFETY, SECURITY, ETHICS, AND ETIQUETTE

Surfing the internet is fun, but we have to be aware and set some limits to keep ourselves safe from any harm and malicious content that is not appropriate for our age. We have to be cautious about every detail that we are going to add to the internet because these details cause a vulnerable risk that apparently might affect your way of living. Following these given precautionary measures will not just keep us safe from strangers but it can also ensure the security of the devices that we’re using. I also remember one time when our teacher is discussing this lesson she asked us about our experience with social media flaming and so on. So I shared my experience to the class that one time when I’m scrolling to Facebook a stranger took a screenshot of my account with a caption “Noob Ignorant bitch who shared my shared post without reacting, Malayo ka ba sa kabihasnan sizst?!” and I was like okay HAHAHAHHAHA but I really got mad when I opened my Facebook account that she’s using my Facebook account as an example of stupidity. So, I confront her, but she blocked me but because I’m fuming mad and I can’t help it I find ways to reach out to her parents and I told them what does their daughter is doing with social media.

This subject also scopes up about the tips to be safe online for instance:

· Do not accept terms and conditions, read it.

· Do not share your password with anyone

· Do not talk to strangers whether it is online or face-to-face.

· Avoid downloading anything from untrusted website.

MICROSOFT WORD

Microsoft Word is everything. Microsoft also come with different applications for different uses these are: Microsoft Excel, Microsoft PowerPoint, Microsoft Outlook, Microsoft OneNote, Microsoft Publisher, Microsoft Access, and SharePoint. Microsoft is a very useful tool application for me, especially for document-making and editing. As a student especially a Senior High student Microsoft Word is not just important it is also reliable as it helps me to compile everything I needed to pass with particularly with my paper works and home works. I have learned using mail merge wherein I can send the same document to several addresses at once, yet if you’re going to try it you still need to customize it yourself. Imagine living in this particular time without Microsoft Word imagining the idea, it would be difficult.

MANIPULATING TEXT, GRAPHICS, AND IMAGES TO CREATE ICT CONTENT INTENDED TO ONLINE ENVIRONMENT

Comes in range with different elements to come up with a graphical design. There are many photo editing applications to make some changes and to enhance photo quality. In this lesson that showcases how does designs is widely accommodating with business posters and logo to captivate the attention of the people.

MAKING INFOGRAPHICS USING CANVA

Have you seen a compilation of certain information in one look in a form of the graphical and most creative way? Here come infographics that come up in different ways of interpreting data in many forms. This is helpful to understand a topic utilizing Human visual ability from patterns. Yes, seems like infographics is another way of communication to present information in a trendy way.

We couldn’t deny the fact that technology becomes part of our life, it brought us a better life of understanding communicating and innovating, and learning. We encounter Technology whenever we go. Technology is a reliable instrument we’re using especially during this difficult time. Technology helps us especially a student like me to work efficiently with my studies, submitting my requirements, and to have more ideas to adapt and fill the gap with the very demanding occurrence of our lives. With technology, our lives become more flexible with the use of our gadgets and internet connection, for example, my father, with the use of technology he doesn’t have to go into their office just to send his forms of schedule he just logs in from a website and fills the forms for his attendance and schedules.

Technology is also good for our economy and for those business sectors to advertise their products and services. It also helps them to expand their profitability and to provide a better management with their competitors, with this subject there are a lot of things we could learn that we can benefit from, it only depends on us if we will let technology become a useful tool or the technology to use us.

“Technology will not Replace great teacher but Technology in the hand of Great teachers can be transformational” ~George Couros~

#IPAPASAAKONIMAAM LOVEYOUU PO MAAM

1 note · View note

freya-a-smith · 4 years

Text

Movie Poster Designs !🌿 (THE JUNGLE BOOK)

These are my film poster designs linked to my movie the jungle book I’ve created these different movie posters using techniques and skills I have learnt during my time at West Suffolk College I’m really happy with all of the outcomes I have experimented with different styles colours type faces and I’m happy with how they’ve come out and that I have a selection to choose from.

My target audience for the jungle book movie poster is for children and I tried to show this in my work And I think I have done a good job of applying that.

This was the first poster I created and it is my favourite I feel like I have used a wide range of techniques in this poster that I have learnt in previous lessons and I feel it works really well Together. Around the outside I have used my illustrations of leaves and half toned these images that I scanned in from my hand drawn poster. With the scans I then used the polygon lasso tool and went round the edge of my original image and then followed the steps to half tone the image after I had got the halftone image I then copied and pasted multiple layers and layered them on top of each other to give a Fuller look and look like you’re looking through the wilderness into the jungle.With the background I chose the colour black as it made the other colours stand out. The type face I used was called roaring jungle to create this typeface of individual letters representing characters I had to create it on illustrator I typed the phone out on illustrator and then I ungrouped and created each individual letter into an outline so I could manipulate them and have them different sizes. I’m really happy with how the type of jungle came out as are used each letter to represent a character the J represent Mowgli The U represent Baloo the bear the N is for shere Khan the G is for kaa and finally the LE represent Bagheera.

I turned the typeface into different characters as my target audience is children and children would be drawn to the title due to the different patterns on the letters and it gives you an insight into what the film is about and what the film contains.

One thing that I would change is when looking at the film poster is the colour of the font to the colour of the leaves because the different colours of green don’t work with each other and I feel like if I had the fun the same colour as the leaves it would link better.

Another thing that I would change is adding more colour to the leaves on the outside adding some orange yellow colours too separate individual layers rather than having different towns of green and brown.

If I was to do the movie poster again I may have added some sort of texture to the background so it is not so black and may have different tones within the background.

But overall when looking at this movie poster I’m really happy with how it came out and I feel like I have targeted it at the right audience which is children.

Here is another example of my movie posters I created this on photo shop using the same steps of the majority of my film posters which is half toning I follow the same steps as above with the half toning on my scans of my illustrations.This movie poster is similar too The movie poster above in the way of the type of concept with this type I decided to focus on one character in the movie which is Kaa the snake . In the movie the jungle book there is scenes in it where the snake hypnotises different characters so I tried to bring that into my movie poster by using Kaa’s eyes as the O’s in book And the rest of the letters are used as the print on Kaa’s body My aim was for the eyes to bring the audiences attention to the poster and sort of “hypnotise them” into being drawn to the poster I really like how this is come out I create my own version of the eyes from the jungle book and use different colours to create the body of car but still symbolise him from the 1967 film of the jungle book. Again are use the same background which is the black as it makes everything else stand out which is my main goal as I want my target audience of children to be drawn to the colours of the greens grounds and more and again the typeface that I have used gives the audience an insight into what is to come in the film.

If I was to do this post again I would add maybe the tone of the snake in the middle of the two O’s to show you that it is a snake even though you can tell and another thing that I would have done differently would be adding more texture to the typeface what I mean by this is adding black outlines to the shapes and giving shading on the letters.But overall I’m really happy with how this movie poster came out and I’m happy that I have used the character on my type so it draws the children’s attention and I feel like I’ve use the right colour palette to represent the jungle book.

This is the same movie poster as above but with a different border I’m not so happy with this movie poster as the edges of the illustrations are pixelated and the texture of the drawing is not smooth and you can see individual pen marks where I have coloured the illustrations in another thing that I don’t really like about this movie poster is the fact that I haven’t built up the edge of the poster like I have done with the others and I feel like there’s too much black seeping through from the background and the text which is darker to the border is being swallowed up by the background and is not the first thing that you are attracted to and that was my aim for my movie poster so I don’t think that I will be using this as my final outcome but I’m happy that I have experimented with my scan of my illustration and used itIn one of the posters to see how it would come out. I still am happy with how the illustration came out as it does represent the jungle as there are different styles of jungle leaves in it and I am happy with the colours that are used but when it is merged with digital work it doesn’t work well together and I feel like I needed to have digitally drawn them for them to work rather than hand drawn them.

This is the fourth movie poster that I experimented with and overall I’m happy with the outcome of it again I have used an element from the movie the jungle book to represent different characters for example in this movie poster I have used again the eyes of Kaa as they have bright colours in them and that will attract my target audience which is children and I have tried to use the eyes to draw people‘s attention like the same thing Kaa does in the movie with the other characters

With the typeface I have stuck with a basic colour of green so that the eyes which a multi colours stand out more which was my aim I have used the same tone of green as I have used on the outside with my halftone effect and I feel like it works well together and doesn’t clash the border around it is from the halftone workshop that we done with Jodi and are used it on these film posters as I liked the way that they came out as they gave a bushy and wilderness effect to create this bushy affect I laid up the original image and rotated some and used different colours to give it texture and definition and depth.

If I was to do this poster again I would change the shapes of the eyes to represent different characters such as Mowgli baloo and Bagheera as they all have different shaped eyes and I could use that to introduce different characters but not giving too much away. Another thing that I could’ve done is taken the eyes away from the whole poster and use the same colours that are in the eyes on the background to give it a tunnel effect look so the background is not so dark.

But overall I’m really happy with this movie poster as it’s one of my favourite outcomes that I have done and would be considering to have it as my final outcome.

#The Jungle Book #KAA #baloo #mowgli #film #posters #analyse #outcomes #skills #techniqes #graphics #photoshop

1 note · View note

mothermotherfan · 5 years

Text

Mother Mother Fanzine 2019

The Canadian indie rock band Mother Mother has been inspiring fans around the globe since the early 2000s. Their latest musical revelation, Dance and Cry, was released in November of 2018. In collaboration with creative fans across the internet, Mother Mother Fan is launching the Mother Mother Fanzine - a chance for you to express how the band and their music make YOU dance and cry, or shout eureka, or touch up.

More info under the cut.

The goal

Mother Mother Fan has been collecting the reactions, passions, jokes, and experiences of Mother Mother fans across the world for a few years. I’d like the wider world to see how Mother Mother creates not just music, but passion and community in their listeners.

What you can submit

I want to represent the full spectrum of experiences. Send me:

Fan art, digital and traditional

Personal essays

Concert photography

Personal pictures of fans with dates and blurbs

Photo manipulations

Graphic design

Poetry

Anything else that’s printable

Things to think about

For your submission, consider some of the following questions to get the brain juices flowing. Don’t consider this the end-all of what you are allowed to address, just some suggestions.

How has Mother Mother inspired you?

How do you express your passion for Mother Mother?

How has Mother Mother accompanied you through life?

What Mother Mother lyrics resonate with you?

How has Mother Mother brought you joy?

When has Mother Mother been there for you?

Examples from my own life:

I’m transgender. Hearing Molly speak in an interview about how she was teased for her voice as a child, but then grew up to be a singer in such an amazing band helped me with my own relationship with my voice.

Mother Mother’s early music resonated with me as a mentally ill person. I felt like they understood me and that brought me comfort in darker times. Their newest music brings me a lot of joy and healing.

A collage I created based on lyrics from Everything Is Happening.

Submission details

Submissions open immediately and close July 1st, 2019. Submit one form per file.

General guidelines

This zine will have a positive leaning. I recognize that Mother Mother’s music doesn’t shy away from darker topics and emotions, but I want to emphasize that even when we struggle, things like Mother Mother can bring us light.

In that vein, we will not accept submissions with explicitly triggering details for things like self harm, suicide, traumatic experiences, etc. These things can be referenced but not incredibly detailed.

“I don’t have much art experience/I’m not sure my style would fit in/this is a crappy picture/I might not be good enough” - You are good enough. This is a zine about the fan experience, not professional artists/authors/photographers. The biggest reason anything would be rejected would be because we have reached capacity, it violates the two bullet points above, or you submitted just a squiggle on a piece of paper.

You may submit up to 5 different submissions.

Images

Art must be 300 dpi or above to be print-quality

Make sure you create it in CMYK color space for accurate print colors

Please submit these file types only: PNG, JPG, AI, PSD

Photos can be lower resolution, but if you have a hi-res version, consider submitting that

Image sequences (such as taken from videos) are OK, submit as a .zip folder

I will ask for a blurb/statement describing the image, the situation, what you have to say about it - please make sure to relate you explanation and image to Mother Mother

I will also ask for an approximate date the image was created

There is no dimension requirement, just be aware that the printable area of the page is 5″x7″

Unless you indicate that your image was created with a bleed, it will be resized to fit the printable area

You may submit images that have been previously published online

Text

There is currently no limit on the minimum or maximum amount of words you can submit, just make sure it is succinct in expressing yourself and don’t feel any pressure to expand too much if only a few words are needed

For all text submissions, I will edit for grammar/spelling/style and send you the edited version to OK - I do not want to alter your meaning, just make sure it looks good on the page

Please submit Word documents or PDFs

You may submit text that has been previously published online

Other submissions

Videos are welcome - I will choose screenshots from them, all requirements from the Images category apply, and please don’t send me something an hour long!

Audio is also welcome - if you would prefer to record your thoughts and submit them that way, please do so, I will transcribe them, all Text requirements apply, and please don’t send me something an hour long!

I’m not sure what else people might want to submit but please don’t feel confined by the two categories above, simply contact me if you have an idea for another type of submission.

SUBMIT HERE

What it will look like

The zine will be 5″x7″ and saddle stitched to keep costs down

A copy will be sent to the band

Physical and PDF digital copies will be available for purchase online

Cost will be designed to cover printing, processing, and shipping only

Any profit will be donated to the Canadian Mental Health Association, the charity Mother Mother has been raising awareness for

Please signal boost this post on social media to reach as many fans as possible! Direct any questions to me at @mothermotherfan!

#mother mother #mothermother #ryan guldemond #zine #orig

119 notes · View notes

miguel-manbemel · 5 years

Text

Aspects & Fanfics Ep. 22: Honest Training

New entry of the fanfic inspired on Sanders Sides created by Thomas Sanders, Joan S. and the Foster Dawg team. I’m seriously considering changing the title of the fic. When I originally chose it, I really didn’t know what to title it, but now, as I publish in this blog more things other than the fic, maybe I should keep the title “Aspects & Fanfics” for the blog and get a new one specifically for the fic. Who knows, I haven’t made up my mind yet.

It’s mindblowing how the story has been evolving. When I created the first entry, I used it to portray my own Sanders Sides theories in the form of a fic. Then, as the story went on for 21 episodes, it slowly evolved into a story of adventure and fantasy. The evolution started because I didn’t see myself prepared enough to tackle the serious issues that the original series tackles. As Roman would say, fantasy worlds are my jam, and so I took my story over the fantasy territory. One thing that I’ve always been worried about, though, is if the episodes are too long. The longest one was 15820 words long, and the average length is of around 9000 words. Is that too much? Should I make the episodes shorter? I really don’t know. I’ve got the handicap of not being a native speaker of English, which means that sometimes I may write long texts that may have been shorter if I knew the right words.I apologize for that if it’s happened. This episode in particular is shorter than on average, around 4700 words. Not that I had this concern in mind, it just came out that way.

Okay, I leave you with the episode now. As usual, you can find the previous entries from this blog right here. I have updated all the previous entries to feature a short synopsis of the plot of the episode so that you can see what the story is about, somehow. This is the first time the synopsis will be featured on release. As usual, thank you to anyone reading, and until next time.

SYNOPSIS: After getting the Dark Master’s knowledge, Logan is ready to start teaching Thomas how to use his Light Master powers, and they all go to the Mind Palace to train him. Thomas must learn how to use his powers to separate Honesty from Deceit before it’s too late and he gets fully absorbed by Deceit and ceases to exist as a result.

WARNINGS: There’s a scene of prinxiety. Remus will make an appearance in the end card. He appears eating disgusting stuff and there are mentions to cockroaches.

EPISODE INDEX

[Thomas enters his apartment, his hair has a wet look]

THOMAS: Well, the photo shoot is finally made. Linda has been especially stubborn today. Excuse me while I take a shower. I need to take off the five gallons of hair gel I needed to make her stay on track. No, don’t gasp, today has been one of her good days. You don’t wanna see a pic of me in one of Linda’s bad days… [beat, looking at the camera] No, seriously, you don’t wanna see it… [beat, then a little anxious] Okay, I know you wanna see, but I don’t want you to see it, okay? Stop it!

[intro sequence]

[Thomas is wearing different, comfier clothes]

THOMAS: What is up, everybody? Nothing like a good shower to refresh and renew myself. Tonight I’ve got a plane to catch, so I packed yesterday, to be ready for this afternoon of training with Logan. I know it’s a rushed schedule, but Honesty can’t wait much longer. I must learn a way to save him before it’s too late. And I know what you’re gonna say, showers don’t give you extra energy. And you’re right, I’m tired, but nevertheless I’m ready to start. For Honesty, I must gather every bit of energy I’ve got left and be ready.

LOGAN: [rising up] I’m glad that you’re ready, Thomas, cause we’ve got work to do.

DECEIT: [rising up] I’m ready too, if you need me.

LOGAN: Yes, Deceit, we’re gonna need you and Honesty.

[Honesty appears]

HONESTY: Well, here I am, ready when you are.

ROMAN: [rising up] Can we watch the training session, Logan?

PATTON: [rising up with a cute glance at Logan] Pleeeease?

LOGAN: You don’t need to manipulate me with you’re adorableness tricks, Patton, you know they don’t work on me.

[Deceit smirks sarcastically]

LOGAN: [noticing Deceit’s sarcastic smirk, he clears his throat nervously] Besides… anyone is welcome to watch, as long as you don’t mess around.

VIRGIL: [rising up] I’ll take care of that, Logan. I’ll make sure you can train undisturbed.

ROMAN: And what are you planning to do to take care of that, Virge?

VIRGIL: I’ve got my methods.

ROMAN: Like what?

VIRGIL: Oh, you want some examples?

ROMAN: Yep.

VIRGIL: Okay… [to Patton] Dad, did you know I didn’t eat at all the whole day?

PATTON: What!? Not even breakfast!? Son, you must be starving! You should take more care of yourself! Thank God your pop is here to fix this issue. I’ll go make some quick sandwiches for ya! [sinks down] Back in a minute.

VIRGIL: And I’ll do that every time Patton gets too close to be a nuisance.

ROMAN: Well, that certainly works for Patton, but what about me?

VIRGIL: [smirks] Do you really wanna know?

ROMAN: Show me.

VIRGIL: If you happen to become a nuisance for the training, I just gotta do this…

[grabs Roman and kisses him]

ROMAN: [blushing with a smile] Okay, I’m convinced. Or maybe not… Can you give me another example for confirmation…?

THOMAS: Guys, if you don’t mind, we’ve got business to attend to here.

VIRGIL: You’re right, sorry.

PATTON: [rising up with a pile of sandwiches] I’m back! Here you are, Virge. All for you. Eat them all… [scolding voice] Right now!

VIRGIL: [looking at the pile of sandwiches, wondering how he’ll be able to eat them all] Okay, dad…

LOGAN: Okay, Virgil’s methods are a little [pulling out a vocab card] out of left field, but they seem to work, so you can come to the training.

PATTON: [rising his fist, happy] Yay!

THOMAS: Um… “come”? Are we going somewhere, Logan?

LOGAN: Yes, Thomas. I’ve created a training space in the Mind Palace so that we have more room for training. I wouldn’t want you to break your furniture by accident…

THOMAS: [concerned] Oh, okay…

LOGAN: Okay, if you’re ready, follow me, Thomas. You too, guys.

THOMAS: Okay.

[Everyone sinks down. Then they appear on what looks like a basketball court]

THOMAS: Why a basketball court?

LOGAN: It’s an open space as good as any. I would have chosen a soccer field because it’s bigger and outdoors, but I’m against stepping on grass, even if it’s specially intended for that. You know, save the forest and all… And anyway, any outdoors stuff in the Mind Palace is just an illusion, because everything’s inside you, so…

THOMAS: Okay, your class, your rules.

LOGAN: Okay, Thomas. Let’s begin. The first I want you to do is concentrate in yourself.

THOMAS: What do you mean?

LOGAN: Remember, long ago, when we were trying to rescue Deceit, when I told you you had to become one with his room? It’s something similar.

THOMAS: Like meditation?

LOGAN: Kind of, but this time, instead of becoming one with any room, you must become one with yourself.

THOMAS: I’m sorry, Logan, but I’m completely lost.

LOGAN: You’re right, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have jumped right into practice without getting the theory first. So…

[suddenly Thomas is sitting on a chair and there’s a huge whiteboard next to Logan with a complicated scheme drawn on it]

LOGAN: Okay, if you look carefully at this scheme and memorize all of it, you will learn the basics to start your training.

VIRGIL: Basics? You mean that all of that… is just the basics?

LOGAN: Of course it is. Becoming an expert would require a few dozens of these whiteboards, and that’s just an approximation.

VIRGIL: [biting his thumbnail] I… I think I’m getting heightened…

THOMAS: [anxious] Logan, are you serious? I’ve got a plane to catch tonight, and I have to leave home in less than five hours to get to the airport on time. I don’t have the time to study all of that. Isn’t there a way for you to give me a simpler explanation?

LOGAN: Okay, I concede that you may be right about our time constraint. So, I’ll give you a simpler explanation. Incomplete and not ideal, but sufficient enough.

THOMAS: Thank you.

LOGAN: We call you the Light Master, but that’s a little imprecise. Because you are much more than the Light Master. You are the whole Mind Palace itself and everything and everyone that lives inside. Are you following me?

THOMAS: Kind of…

LOGAN: We are all the Sanders Sides, and then there’s the Dark Master. While inside of you, we’re still each our own entity, tied to you, but with our own consciousness. But the Light Master and you have the same consciousness, your consciousness. Still with me?

THOMAS: Not sure…

LOGAN: Basically, the Light Master is within you. Like anyone of us, he’s his own entity, but unlike us, he only manifests through you.

THOMAS: Okay, this is where I start getting lost.

LOGAN: Summoning us is easy, you just call us and, if we’re not in autopilot, we hear you and we come. Got it?

THOMAS: Got it.

LOGAN: For the Light Master, however, it’s not that easy. If you want to summon his powers, you must learn to separate your human self from your Master self, learn to differentiate each and learn to control your Master self. It’s in a way as if you were two entities at the same time, your human self is awake and under your normal control, while your Master self lies dormant within you. You managed to wake him up by chance when you forced Romulus to split up, but you didn’t know how to control him, so you turned Roman into a Dark Side by accident. Got me?

THOMAS: So… the Light Master is different from me? Like a Side inside of me that can’t get out?

LOGAN: Kind of, but not exactly. The Light Master is an inseparable part of you, but it’s not all of you. It’s only a part of you that lies dormant and you need to learn how to wake it up. Understand?

THOMAS: I think so. And how do I wake that part of me up?

LOGAN: As I told you, you must follow the same method you did with Deceit’s room, but this time you must concentrate into yourself, trying to distinguish that Master part of you, identify it and make it surface.

THOMAS: And when it’s out? What will happen?

LOGAN: If you consciously wake it up, you should be able to control it. The first time it could be difficult, but with practice, you would be able to do it more naturally and easily.

THOMAS: Okay, so I start concentrating?

LOGAN: Yes. Are you ready for the first try?

THOMAS: I don’t know, but that doesn’t matter. We don’t have much time, so I must try, ready or not.

LOGAN: Okay, first of all, don’t be afraid, Thomas. Remember that this is a part of you and you can do this, okay?

THOMAS: Okay. Let’s go.

LOGAN: Okay, close your eyes, then.

[Thomas closes his eyes]

LOGAN: Try to empty your mind of each and any thoughts that could distract you. Whatever it is, it can wait. Now you must focus in yourself. Nothing exists, but yourself.

THOMAS: Okay…

LOGAN: When you reach that level of concentration, start focusing into yourself. Identify your day-to-day self, the normal Thomas Sanders that lives a normal life in the normal town of Gainesville, Florida. Then check everything inside you. You’ll be able to tell the difference between that part of you, and the other special part, a part that you hadn’t noticed before, but that you’ll be able to sense now. That’s the part where you must focus now. Can you sense it?

THOMAS: I think so… It’s weird…

LOGAN: Put the normal Thomas Sanders out of your focus, and concentrate solely on that part. You’ll see how it starts growing inside you. You may feel an overwhelming sensation, but don’t let it control you. It’s you who are in control, now and always. Don’t forget that. The Light Master self is at your service and not the opposite.

[A white aura starts glowing around Thomas’ body]

ROMAN: [in a low voice to Virgil and Patton] I’ve seen that kind of aura before. It’s the same aura that appeared around me when the Dark Master transformed me into a Light Side. I think Thomas is doing it.

[suddenly the aura disappears and Thomas shows a face of struggling, then he opens his eyes, with a slightly agitated breathing]

THOMAS: I lost it…

ROMAN: Wow, so close…

LOGAN: It’s okay, Thomas. No one asked you to do it on the first try.

THOMAS: It’s just that I felt as if that… thing, I don’t know how to call it, was starting to take me over, and I felt overwhelmed, as if I was drowning, I don’t know how to explain it, it was weird and unpleasant.

LOGAN: Yes, I thought it was that, that’s why I told you. You must keep in mind that you are always in charge. You may feel that sensation because you’re putting that part of yourself on the first line and your normal self steps back as a result, something you’re not accustomed to. But you can do this. Just as you have control over us, you also have control over your Light Master self. You just need to learn how to control it, and it won’t feel so unpleasant when you manage to do that. Are you ready for another try?

THOMAS: I don’t know…

PATTON: Come on kiddo, you can do this! We’re rooting for you!

[the rest of the Sides cheer too]

THOMAS: Thanks, guys… Okay, let’s try again.

[Thomas closes his eyes and starts concentrating again. In a shorter time than earlier, the aura manifests again]

ROMAN: Wow, it’s going really fast now…

[the aura starts growing and growing. Thomas shows an unpleasant face for some time, but after that he changes it for a determined face, then the aura is absorbed by Thomas’ body, and he opens his eyes. They’re now of a silver gray color]

THOMAS: I think I did it.

LOGAN: Well done, Thomas. How do you feel?

THOMAS: It’s a strange sensation. I feel like I could do so much more than before, as if all the limitations that hindered me had suddenly disappeared.

LOGAN: That’s because we’re in the Mind Palace, where in this state you can shape anything and anyone at your own will. But be careful, Thomas. Don’t get drunk with this power. You must only use it when the time is right.

THOMAS: Yes, I know, Logan. Okay, now what?

LOGAN: Now, we start training on how to split Deceit and Honesty back to how they were before.

THOMAS: I think I know what to do, somehow…

LOGAN: Yes, now that your Light Master self is awaken, you know what to do, but still, you need to practice before doing it for real. You don’t want to cause an accident during the split that wounds Deceit or Honesty, or something worse.

THOMAS: No, certainly not, but how do I practice?

[Logan makes the whiteboard disappear, and in its place, he invokes a manikin]

LOGAN: Deceit, could you come here and put your hand on the manikin, please?

DECEIT: Oh… okay.

[Deceit puts his hand on the manikin. Logan does the same. After some seconds, there’s a yellow flash and the manikin is dressed with a copy of Deceit’s outfit]

LOGAN: Thank you, Deceit. Okay, Thomas, this manikin has been infused with Deceit and Honesty’s essence, mixed as it is now. I want you to split this manikin in two parts. Not to cut it in half literally, but to create two manikins out of this one, separating Deceit’s and Honesty’s individual essences in each of the two new manikins, using only your Light Side powers. Do you think you can do it?

THOMAS: Okay, I’ll try.

[Thomas concentrates and the white aura reappears around him. Then he points at the manikin, and the aura flies to it. The manikin starts shaking, and a yellow glow surrounds it. Then Thomas starts struggling]

THOMAS: It’s… difficult. The two energies are too similar, I can barely distinguish them.

LOGAN: Concentrate harder, Thomas. You can do this.

[Thomas keeps concentrating, then the manikin blows up in a cloud of smoke. The aura disappears and Thomas starts panting. Patton and Virgil run to check on him. When the smoke vanishes, there are two manikins indeed, but they’re broken in pieces all over the ground]

DECEIT: Um… I suddenly don’t want to get out of here right now…

THOMAS: I’m sorry, guys, I failed… Gosh, what a mess of a Light Master I’m turning out to be…

LOGAN: Thomas, stop it. If you don’t start believing in yourself right at this moment, you’ll never make it. This takes a lot of strength, both of mind and of heart, but it also needs a good amount of faith. Faith in yourself and faith that you can do it.

THOMAS: Can I, though? I seriously doubt that I can.

LOGAN: Of course you can, Thomas. We have tried only once. This is only a matter of practice, concentration and faith. I believe in you, Thomas. You can do this, so start believing in yourself too. If not for you, for Honesty, and also for Roman and Virgil. We all depend on you. Gather all the strength that you have left and try again. And then again, and again. Because one thing is certain, you’re gonna do this. As my name is Logan Sanders, I’m not gonna let this be my first failure in teaching. Got it?

ROMAN: I do believe in you too, Thomas. If there’s one person in this world that can help me, that’s you. I would trust you with my life if need be, and I couldn’t be in better hands.

THOMAS: Roman…

VIRGIL: Roman speaks for all of us, Thomas.

PATTON: That’s right, kiddo.

HONESTY: Yes, this has only been a blooper in a rehearsal. When you get on stage and do it for real, you’ll get a standing ovation over your successful performance. You’ll see.

LOGAN: Stage? What stage? We’re doing this in a basketball court…

THOMAS: Guys, you’re gonna make me all emotional… Okay, I’ll try again.

[meanwhile, Logan has invoked away the pieces and invoked a new manikin and Deceit has already infused it with his essence again]

LOGAN: We’re ready here, Thomas. Now do your best.

[Virgil and Roman go back to their seats]

THOMAS: I’ll try.

LOGAN: Don’t try to do your best, Thomas, just do it. Put all your soul into this and all your guts, and do it.

THOMAS: Okay, I’ll do it.

[Thomas concentrates again. The aura appears again and Thomas projects it onto the manikin. The manikin starts shaking again and the yellow glow appears again surrounding it. Thomas starts struggling again]

DECEIT: You can do this…

HONESTY: Have faith.

PATTON: We’re rooting for you.

ROMAN: You’re capable of this and more.

VIRGIL: So much more…

LOGAN: So do it…

[The glow turns into a light so bright that the Sides have to turn back. After a few seconds, the light disappears and there are two manikins. One of them is dressed with Deceit clothes and the other with Honesty’s clothes]

LOGAN: Well done, Thomas.

THOMAS: I did it?

LOGAN: Of course you did it, like I knew you would.

[Thomas smiles and the Sides cheer]

LOGAN: Okay, enough cheering. The time has come. Are you ready, guys?

THOMAS: Wait, so soon? I thought this was a training session. I only managed to do it once.

LOGAN: There’s no time to waste, Thomas. Once you’ve managed to do it for the first time, you can manage to do it as many times as you want.

THOMAS: But what if…?

HONESTY: Logan is right. I don’t have much time left in this world. If I can’t be saved, I’d rather go with a blast, rather than disappear slowly and angstily. Besides, that’s not gonna happen, because you’re gonna do it, just like you did it before.

[Honesty disappears]

HONESTY: [speaking through Deceit’s body] Now go ahead and set me free, one way or another.

THOMAS: Don’t say that, Honesty.

HONESTY: Sorry, I’m Honesty. I’m allowed to express the way I feel without limitations. But don’t listen to me. I know you can do it.

LOGAN: [invoking the manikins away] Okay, Deceit, stand here, and don’t move a muscle.

DECEIT: [sighs] Here we go…

[Deceit goes where the manikins used to stand, he goes totally still and, after giving a quick anxious glance to the other Sides and Thomas, he closes his eyes]

LOGAN: Okay, Thomas, ready?

THOMAS: Ready.

LOGAN: Go.

[Thomas concentrates and the aura reappears. He projects the aura onto Deceit]

DECEIT: I’m feeling weird…

LOGAN: Don’t move…

[A yellow glow surrounds Deceit. This time, Thomas barely struggles, as if it was being easier than the other two times. Then the glow goes more intense, until Deceit is no longer seen. After a few moments, there’s a huge flash that, again, forces the other Sides to look back. After a while, the flash disappears. Deceit is there, but there’s no sign of Honesty]

DECEIT: I’m… I’m alive? But where is Honesty? I don’t feel him anymore. What has happened?

THOMAS: [scared] Oh, my gosh, don’t tell me that…

[a glow then appears next to Deceit. It is a yellow glow. It flickers to orange a couple of times while growing, but eventually stays yellow. After that, the glow disappears and Honesty appears there with his eyes closed]

DECEIT: Honesty? Are you okay?

[Honesty opens his eyes and looks around]

HONESTY: I… I think so… Did it work?

[Honesty slowly reaches a hand towards Deceit. He does the same. When the hands get close to touch, they both hesitate, but after a couple of seconds, they join their hands]

DECEIT: [happy] I can feel you!

HONESTY: [also happy] Me too. We both have a physical form again!

[Honesty and Deceit join in a hug and they both start crying. The other Sides join them. Thomas is there, with tears rolling down his cheeks]

LOGAN: Well done, Thomas. Now you have earned yourself the right to be called the Light Master.

HONESTY: Thomas, you saved me… Thank you… [runs to Thomas and hugs him] Thank you, thank you, thank you…

DECEIT: I always believed you could do it.

ROMAN: [smirks] Of course you did, who are we to judge anyway?

THOMAS: I’m so happy for you, guys. You wouldn’t get an idea.

DECEIT: It’s weird though. I think we’re separate in a different way than before. Because I still have all of Honesty’s memories, and weirdly enough, I can feel his thoughts right now, as if he was still inside of me.

HONESTY: Yeah, it happens the same with me. It’s like if I could read your mind right now.

DECEIT: It seems we’re still partly connected in a way. And I like it.

HONESTY: Me too.

LOGAN: Okay, now Thomas, it’s time for you to go back to the real world. You’ve got a plane to catch, remember? And you only have two hours left to get to the airport.

THOMAS: Oh, my goodness! I must go right now! [to the camera] Sorry for the abrupt goodbye, but until next time, take it easy, guys, gals and non binary pals! Peace out!

[end card]

[Remus is in his room, making what looks like pancakes. Roman appears]

ROMAN: Hi, Remus.

REMUS: Roman? What are you doing here?

ROMAN: What? Can’t I pay a visit to my brother from time to time?

REMUS: Well, you’re your own Side. Want some pancakes?

ROMAN: Maybe… What’s in them?

REMUS: Flour, eggs, butter, some baking powder, and, my secret ingredient to give them taste, just a few little crispity-crunchy fluffy cockroaches.

ROMAN: [disgusted] Uh… I think I’ll pass, thank you.

REMUS: As you wish, but they’re delicious with whipped shaving cream. And now, what is it? I don’t believe you’ve come here just to see me. What do you want?

ROMAN: I really don’t want anything from you. Except…

REMUS: [pulling out a purse] Okay, how much is it gonna be? But I warn you, I still haven’t got the check this month, so don’t overdo it.

ROMAN: It’s not that. Besides, why would I want money for? This is the Mind Palace. There’s no need to pay for things here.

REMUS: [putting the pancakes on a plate, he grabs a fork] Tell that to my landlord. Do you have any idea how much that castle’s rent costs?

ROMAN: I’m trying to be serious, Remus.

[Roman and Remus sit down at the table. Remus invokes a bottle of shaving cream and puts a bunch over the pancakes]

REMUS: Well, you should know me by now. I can’t be serious and I’m gonna say the first thing that comes through my head all the time. Now, go on, I’m listening, kind of.

ROMAN: The truth is… lately…

[Roman hesitates]

REMUS: Spit it out already!

ROMAN: …I feel lonely.

[Remus looks at Roman with a face of surprise. Obviously he didn’t expect to hear that from Roman and it caught him off guard]

REMUS: How… how is that so? You’ve got a husband and lots of friends. You’ve got a whole world of your own creation, even a family you created for yourself. How can anyone feel lonely with all of that?

ROMAN: You’re right, I’ve got a world I made myself. And I do have a lot of friends and a husband who loves me. But since I turned into a Dark Side, I can only see the other Sides for a couple of hours each day, and they can only spend brief minutes in my room, all for their own security. The rest of the day, I’m forced to stay alone in my room or wander around Sandersia. I could go visit my brother Roland and Ira in the castle, and I did see them a couple of times, but he’s a busy ruler. I don’t wanna be a burden to him and I keep my policy of not meddling in Sandersian life. So, I chose to stay alone, if that makes any sense.

REMUS: You overvalue things making sense. [eating his pancakes with whipped shaving cream, speaking while munching with his mouth open, bits of the pancakes fall everywhere] I don’t look for anything making sense, and look at me, I didn’t turn out so bad, did I?

[Remus swallows his food, then burps loudly with his mouth wide open. The smell of the shaving cream’s perfume reaches Roman’s nose and he smells it]

ROMAN: [beat, trying to keep a neutral face] Well… it could have been worse.

REMUS: [giggles] Yeah, you’re right. So, you feel lonely. What does that have to do with me?

ROMAN: Well, you’re my brother after all, and at this moment… you’re the only family I have left who will not be endangered by my presence.

REMUS: And so, you only come to me when everybody else is out of your reach. That’s not very complimentary. Not that I look for compliments, but still…

ROMAN: I know, and I’m sorry. There are lots of things I’ve done wrong with you. I’ll understand if you ask me to leave.

REMUS: I never said that. But it’s true that you’ve done lots of things wrong with me. And this is all quite funny if you see it through my perspective. What you’re going through is not even a thousandth part of what I’ve been going through all these years alone in the island. I could have tried to do like you and make myself some companions, but the first years I wasn’t strong enough to summon anything or anyone bigger than a coconut. Remember the size of the black cauldron, it wasn’t big enough to cook one serving of blood pudding. And by the time I got strength to summon bigger things, I had already got accustomed to my loneliness. I didn’t need anyone in my life anymore. [looking at Roman right in the eye with a reproachful look] Well… almost anyone. I needed you, my big brother, in my life, and you weren’t there for me.

ROMAN: [guilty] Yeah… You’re totally right, and you said it yourself the last time. This is a karmic punishment. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the brother you needed. And I know I don’t have a right to ask you for your company when I denied my company to you for so many years. To be honest, I took a lot of time to come here, because… I feared how you would react. I don’t mean that I thought you would go on a rampage again, but… I thought that you were going to reject me and throw me away from your room, and you would have had all the right to do so.

REMUS: I would never throw you away, Roman. Especially now.

ROMAN: What do you mean?

REMUS: Now that you’re going through this, you can understand what I went through better than anyone else, and I think that makes our bond closer than ever. Besides, how could I get you to compensate me for all these years if I threw you away? My needs haven’t changed a bit. I still need my big brother in my life. So you better give me the company you denied from me in the past, Roman. I’ll use my mace to make you stay with me if I have to.

ROMAN: [emotional] I will… Thank you, brother.

REMUS: Is it weird that I enjoy you calling me like that? I’m genuinely asking, because I don’t understand this weird heartwarming stuff.

[Roman makes a gesture to go hug Remus, but he stops]

REMUS: What’s wrong?

ROMAN: Could you… clean your sash a little bit? You’re all covered with pancakes and shaving cream…

REMUS: Oh, come on, Roman, just get carried away for once in your life!

[Remus hugs Roman, who shrugs and hugs Remus back]

ROMAN: Okay…

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #logan sanders #deceit sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #remus sanders #sympathetic deceit #sympathetic remus #sanders sides fic #fanfic #sanders sides fanfic #prinxiety #romantic prinxiety #aspects and fanfics

5 notes · View notes

sweetstudies77 · 5 years

Text

Pressing On & Prepping for 2L

Y’all. The past year has been difficult beyond measure.

TL;DR - Law school is hard. Being treated like crap at home makes it worse. Friends help. I’m grateful for my support system. Whatever you’re dealing with, I believe in you! You can make it.

TW: some discussion of verbal/emotional abuse by romantic partner.

The struggle has been real. Not purely academically, but personally as well. Here’s my story.

My Blog

I started this little study blog as a creative outlet. I frequently looked to other studyblrs’ beautiful blog posts with photos of coffee and neatly written class notes for motivation as I embarked on my first year of law school. As I wrap up my 1L summer, I have been given the opportunity to reflect on the past 365 days and it has been quite a journey. Beginning School

I began 1L in August of 2018 with bright eyes and an eagerness to do the very best I could. I read through several blog posts with advice for rising 1L’s. The advice I received included tips like “always go to class,” “actually do the reading,” and lots of links to useful school supplies. As wonderful as the advice was, nothing could have fully prepared me for the year to come.

On the first day, I walked into the school with no interest in socializing. I actually texted my mom “I am not here to make friends.” I didn’t see the utility in social connections and frequently experienced bouts of social anxiety which made reaching out to others nearly unbearable.

My Schedule

I lived with a boyfriend in a cute little apartment in the downtown of a city approximately 40 minutes from school. On Sundays, I would cook lunches for the week, carefully selecting healthy choices, mindful of what foods he liked/didn’t like. I’d stack Tupperware containers with the week’s lunches in the fridge.

On the weekdays, I followed a 12 hour “on” (at school) and 12 hour “off” (at home) schedule which enabled me to beat traffic and maximize my time at school, making time for one-hour windows to go to the gym and break for lunch. I made sure to get home with enough time to make dinner and spend a few hours with my then boyfriend before going to bed. This way, I did all of my studying at school and could be fully present while at home. I wasn’t going to allow law school to interfere with my relationship and my home life.

Weekday mornings, I would wake up around 5:30am, get dressed, make coffee, and head to school. Usually I’d arrive at the law library between 7:15 and 7:30am and read/review my notes for the class ahead. I made sure to always be prepared for any cold call that could be thrown at me (I actually wasn’t called on at all during first term). I’d remain at school until approximately 7pm when I would drive home to make dinner.

On the weekends, I dubbed one day my “study day” and the other my “no school” day. Hoping we could still make weekend plans and enjoy each other’s company.

This system worked until midterms, when the boyfriend started to complain about how much I talked about school. Fine, I thought. I’ll just talk about school less and make sure our time together was more intentional. Nope. Even through minimizing how much I talked about school, any mention of my school friends or new class topics was met with hostility.

I thought my relationship would grow stronger, especially because I was prioritizing it above so much else and working hard to keep us together and happy. My hope was that, through making myself consistently available for a few hours a day, we would be able to have almost as much together time as we did before law school. I was sadly mistaken.

*Failing Relationship

My then boyfriend saw the hours I carved out to make time for him as restrictive. If I asked to spend time together during the evenings or on my “no school” day rather than the “study day,” I would be told that my school schedule “wasn’t his problem.” He chose to spend time with his friends rather than me on the free days and but the time he wanted to spend time with me, I was studying. I felt bad for trying to pigeonhole him and worked to make more time for him during the week. It was never enough.

I felt so alone. Stretched so thin and trying to be the very best at school, being a girlfriend, and homemaking. I never once received a “thanks” … which didn’t bother me initially because, of course, he had never asked me to stretch myself so thin. But wasn’t this a partnership?

I ended up finishing my first term in the top 11% (not 10% as I was JUST below the cutoff for that). I was disappointed because top 10% was my goal, but I resolved to get better. To do better. My school is on the quarter system and we have three terms per year (plus optional summer sessions), so I figured I had enough time to finish first year even better. I started studying with a group and had no idea how much of an impact these three students would have on my life moving forward.

*Crashing Down

Long story short, things at home got so bad that I started to question my ability to perform at school. I did not share with the boyfriend how I was feeling at all times, but I would do my best to calmly explain concerns with the relationship when they became relevant. Expressing myself became akin to walking on eggshells, but I still thought I could make it work if I just tried hard enough. I was regularly insulted, gaslighted, or ignored. Whenever I was upset about something, I was told that I was being “dramatic.” His friends took priority over our plans together and my boundaries were constantly crossed (example: I don’t like having people come to our apartment to drink often, but I requested that IF we were going to have company, that the boyfriend at least tell me about it in advance so I could make sure I was dressed… he never told me in advance).

I experienced stress induced hives, rapid weight loss, and extreme anxiety about everything. I began thinking that I was not good enough and that nothing I did even mattered. I even started to believe him when he told me I was stupid. My study group reassured me of my abilities and extended kindness and support beyond what I had ever seen at home. They urged me to leave my boyfriend and move to a safer place. Eventually I did and I am so glad… but things have been far from “all better” since I made that decision.

The summer began on a bittersweet note. I had dropped to just below the top 30% and I had broken up with my boyfriend of two years. We still lived together but I would be moving out soon. I felt discouraged about my class rank, and I didn’t know what the future would hold.

Because of the mental strain and emotional abuse* I did not apply to many summer internships or other extracurricular activities. I just didn’t think I was good enough. This left me confused and even more anxious, but fortunately I was afforded the opportunity to intern at a local firm, thanks to one of my study group friends. *Abuse is the word the school counselor used to describe the way my ex talked to and manipulated me – I do not intend to demonize my ex nor do I want to paint him as a bad person. Please note that several details of the circumstances have been left out in the interest of writing a blog post rather than a novel on how “bad” it was. If you or someone you know is experiencing any type of abuse, please reach out to a trained professional.

Starting Over

This month, I am wrapping up a summer internship at a local private defense law firm. My friend reached out and offered to talk to his old boss about having me shadow him for the summer when he realized the magnitude of my situation. Thankfully I have not spent the entire summer twiddling my thumbs. I am extremely grateful for this and all of the kindness of my classmates.

Today, I am living at my mom’s house and preparing for 2L. I wish I could say something along the lines of “I made it through the storm. Everything is fine now.” But that’s not how it works. My mom is further away from the school than my old apartment and living with my family makes me feel like a bit of a child. Before law school, I worked in advertising and lived in my little apartment for three years. I feel like I am moving backwards. My best friend is getting married in November and I am her maid of honor. This means planning a bachelorette party and making hotel reservations for the wedding. I am so happy for her, but it is hard not to feel like I’ve gotten the short end of the stick. My class rank is lower than I want it to be and I worry about what this may mean for the future and my career. With all of this, it is still easier to breathe. My laughter is genuine, and I don’t have a sense of doom or fear at the end of the day anymore. I am able to sleep through the night without a sleep aid. And most importantly, for me, I am not faced with constant insults or gaslighting anymore.

Looking Ahead

Focusing on the negative has never been helpful for me, so I have to keep going. I don’t know what’s in store for the future, but I am hopeful for good things. I know we all have tough things going on in our lives and school performance is just the tip of the iceberg. If nothing else, I want to encourage you to press on. That’s what I would have told myself in December when my façade of perfection came crumbling around me.

Lastly, hold on to your support system. Make sure that someone knows if you’re in trouble. And make time for socializing. You never know when your friends are going to be your rock.

#law school #personal #surviving #studyblr #law studyblr #verbal abuse #emotional abuse #narcicist #breaking up #disillusioned #keepgoing #press on #keep going #you can do it #moveon #move along #positivity #it will be okay

17 notes · View notes