#and if it's just to be stronger then woof

[jq37]

What is it that the Rat Grinders actually want exactly? Or at least, what does Kipperlilly want since she's the one we know the most about.

At the top of the season it seemed like she wanted to Be The Best at school and Be Recognized in a very Tracy Flick/Sara Berry kind of way and was just going to crazy lengths to get there because this is a world where you help a dragon kidnap girls so you can be Prom Queen and life goes on. But now we know that the Rat Grinders are a part of Porter's larger plan and one of the major steps of that plan is completely abolishing Aguefort as an institution.

It's clear what Porter gets out of this. He gets to be a god and he gets to continue his imperialistic family legacy. And I would maybe get what Kipperlilly would get out of this is she were the Cleric/Paladin of the plan. She'd get to be the new god's champion, like she was gushing to Lucy. That's maybe worth something to an achievement hunting, Type A individual.

But she's not gonna get to be the best student at Aguefort if Aguefort doesn't exist anymore. Hell, Elmville won't really exist anymore. Is Porter planning on opening a new Adventuring School in Rage Elmville and she gets to be the god Principal's pet? Does she think he's gonna make things "fair" for her somehow? How? Retroactively killing her parents? Does she want to use the powers she cheesed from the easy XP he drip fed her to be a renown adventurer? Kinda hard to pull that off when everyone knows you were part of the plan that doomed the town. Maybe she thought they were going to get away with it without being implicated? Does she literally not want anything other than a chance to kill the Bad Kids? Or even pettier, to just to be stronger than Riz? Is that worth it to her? To damn the whole town just so she can say that she beat Riz once? Did she want something concrete at one point but at this point she's just lost in the sauce and doing whatever the next task is without knowing what she'd even do with a victory if she got it? Did she already get what she wanted in the free XP and now she's just paying her end of the bargain?

I'm just very unsure about what her version of a happy ending is here.

[muffinapologist]

Me: [searching “how to build stamina” “strength training” “proper way to use dumbbells” ]

The internet, for some reason: oh you want to lose weight? You want to know how to burn fat? Here are the best exercises for burning calories. Here’s how to become leaner

[gibson-g1rl]

𐙚 POV: you’re jensen ackles’ controversially younger gf ⭐️

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yourbestfriendsuser need a stronger word than mother

yourusername @/yourbestfriendsuser biting my finger seductively rn

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jackles_fan every time she posts i get sick to my stomach 😣

girlblogger_ he looks so good what the fuck 💔

y/n_fan @/girlblogger forget him i want her 🫦

jensenackles

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jensenackles A little taste of the weekend. 🙏🫶🏼

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yourusername 🫦

yourusername yum

user_03737 @/yourusername she just like us fr 😭😭

jackles_lover @/yourusername so real gf

girlblogger_ started foaming at the mouth

blue-d she’s getting that d everyday oh my god 💔💔

randomuser-00 they’re both so hot what the fuck

user_ 6TH PICTURE HAS ME SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP

dean_lover @/user_ RIGHT? why is no one else talking about??? his hand looks so good 😧 her ass too??

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yourbestfriendsuser body tea

yourusername @/yourbestfriendsuser i’ll eat you

yourbestfriendsuser @/yourusername @/jensenackles stole your girl 😛

yourusername @/yourbestfriendsuser LMAOO

girlblogger_ she’s so cunty i love her

winchester-br0th3rs 5th picture 🥹 he looks so cute omg!

dean_lover @/winchester-br0th3rs right! he looks so dreamy

jensenackles

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jensenackles A few summer pics. Hope everyone is having a great one. Happy 4th yall.

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yourusername first picture?? rattling the bars of my enclosure

jensenackles @/yourusername 😂

dean_lover @/jensenackles his reply lmaoo 😭 old man

girlblogger_ @/yourusername you’re so me queen

blue-d ripping my hair out he looks so good 😓

wi4hfulth1nking WOOF WOOF

randomuser_ is she not too young for him…

girlblogger_ @/randomuser_ SHUT UP HO 🗣️

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yourfriendsuser_ face card 😛

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jackles_fan @/jensenackles LMFAO

pearlzier KISSING BOOTH?? SIGN ME TF UP

i_heartdilfs ugh i wish jensen ackles was my boyfriend 💔

blue-d yall looking for a third?

wi4hfulth1nking @/blue-d PLEASE 😭

dean_lover need him BIBLICALLY

yourusername 20m

𐙚 thank you for reading ⭐️

𐙚 i had a lot of fun making this lol 🤭

𐙚 tags: @pearlzier @blue-d @wi4hfulth1nking

𐙚 reblogs are greatly appreciated ⭐️

𐙚 creds to @strangergraphics for the divider!

[frudoo]

Trapped in the forest with a feral John Price could be hot 🔥

WOOF bestie you are so right 😩

Warnings: Non-con to dub-con, John Price is stupidly big. Fem!Reader.

“I know you’re out there, birdie.”

God, you hate his taunting voice, the lilt that makes it sound like he’s singing to you. You hate your friends for abandoning you in this creepy fucking forest, you hate the way every dead leaf manages to crunch beneath your feet no matter how quiet you try to be. You’ve been sneaking away from the giant man for what feels like hours but his voice never gets further away, always right on the brink of being too damn close.

“Nothin’ to be afraid of, girlie, jus’ wanna take care o’ya.”

His call is loud, somewhere behind you, before you hear a thud and then silence follows. You stop dead in your tracks—did he fall down and knock himself out? Maybe you ought to check, make sure he’s really down and no longer on your trail. Slowly, you turn around and take a few steps where you remember the thud to have sounded, but there’s no body slumped over itself. At least, nothing human.

You gasp at the sight of a whimpering dog with an injured paw, instantly kneeling down to try and help the poor pup. You hold her paw in your hand to examine it but there’s nothing wrong, no thorns or cuts in her pads. You furrow your eyebrows and pet behind her ears, cooing softly to her.

“What’s wrong, baby? Where’s your-”

Your sentence is interrupted by strong arms lifting your body up, one hand covering your mouth. You shriek, clawing at the man’s hairy arms as you try to kick free from his hold. It’s useless—he’s so much stronger than you, and the pain you’re inflicting doesn’t even register in his brain.

He knows what he wants, and he’s going to have it.

The ‘injured’ dog stands from her place on the ground and sprints away at the man’s command, full weight on her paw. Your stomach flips at the realization. He used his dog as a trap.

“P-please don’t hurt me! I’ll do- I’ll do anything, please!” You sputter, fat tears streaming down your face as the man lays you on the ground.

“Not gonna hurt ya. No, could never hurt my pretty girl, never,” the man murmurs, and despite the fact that he’s currently binding your wrists to the tree behind you with his belt, his words are gentle and seemingly sincere.

Once your hands are secure, he leans down to kiss you, frowning when you flinch and turn away before his lips are able to meet yours. He grunts and tries again, but when you repeat the action he cups your jaw in one large hand, keeping you still and finally pressing his mouth to yours. He tastes like tobacco and smells of it too, earthy and dewy much like the grass he’s trapped you against.

“Atta girl, jus’ submit t’me.”

There’s a wide smile on his face when he pulls back, thumbing away a string of saliva that remains on your bottom lip. Then his hands trail down your body, ripping open your tank top and pulling your tits out from the cups of your bra. You can’t hold back the moan that escapes your traitorous throat when he wraps his lips around one nipple and sucks, pinching the other between his thumb and forefinger.

“N-no, please…” you cry, trying to kick him away, but he just growls and suckles harder in response.

Damn your body for not fighting him harder, and damn your pussy for getting so wet from this. His hot tongue trails down your stomach while his large hands expertly undo your pants and pull them as well as your knickers off of you completely. He even tosses your shoes and socks aside, kissing his way from your toes all the way to your inner thighs, then planting his lips right over your clit. He groans against your cunt and you can see the way his hips buck against the ground as he tastes you.

In a similar fashion to the way he’d sucked your nipple, he does the same to your swollen bud, circling his tongue over it repeatedly. You’re gushing out abundances of your arousal much to your dismay—and his delight—and he dips his tongue into your entrance to drink it all up. You hate how good it feels, how tight the coil in your belly has gotten, how close you are to the edge. He slides his tongue through your folds and sucks on your clit once more and then you’re screaming, trying to fight off the euphoric waves as they overtake you.

The man’s eyes roll into the back of his head as he slurps up all of your juices. As quickly as he’d started, he pulls away, and those dexterous hands shove down his pants to allow his stupidly fat cock to bounce out. It’s obviously heavy, fully erect and yet still drooping away from his soft stomach, curved and slick with precum. You whimper at the sight, shaking your head as more pleas escape you.

“No! No, please don’t, sir, please… I’ll do anything…” You sob, legs still trying to kick at him even as he parts your thighs and settles himself between them.

“You’ll take my cock,” he responds gruffly, a low moan leaving his throat when he shoves the tip past the barrier of your pussy.

The stretch burns like hell and you scream at the intrusion, wrists desperately trying to tug free from their restraints so you can shove him off. It wouldn’t have worked, anyway, not with his strength and the determination he has to claim you. With a grunt and a hard thrust, he sinks all the way inside, giving you only a few seconds to adjust before he’s rutting into you wildly.

“Ah, so fuckin’ tight. Knew ya would be. Knew ya’d fit me so fuckin’ well.”

Cold sweat trickles down his freckled face and drips onto your cheeks, making you flinch every time you feel a drop make contact. His dick is stuffing you so fucking full, and all you can do is lay there and take it. The initial pain is gone and in its place is a revolting pleasure, one that makes you roll your hips against his. The man smiles proudly, using the backs of your knees to push your legs up to your chest.

“Yeah, feels good, don’t it, girlie? Can feel your cunt clenchin’ ‘round me. Fuckin’ cum on my cock. Do it. Give it t’me.”

His pace quickens tenfold, making your vision go white as his fat tip bullies your g-spot with every thrust. Your entire body convulses when you climax but he doesn’t relent, fucking you through your high and overstimulating you in the process. It doesn’t matter to the man mounting you, his eyes so far back in his skull you’re not sure they’ll ever return to their normal position. An animalistic growl escapes his throat and then you feel ribbons of hot cum spurting inside of you, filling you to the brim.

You hate the way his cum leaks out of you when he pulls out, spilling to the ground and wasting all of his hard work. After he tucks his dick away and gives you a passionate, tender kiss, he releases you from the restraints and scoops you up into his big burly arms, carrying you back to his little shack where his actor of a pup is waiting for him with a wagging tail.

Maybe the forest isn’t so bad, after all.

[algae-tm]

AGORA HILLS

Daniel Ricciardo x rapper!Reader SMAU

Warnings : SUGGESTIVE content!! Reader and Daniel being horny for eachother on main

face claim : megan thee stallion

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

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danielricciardo : Locked in. It’s race week

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user7 : praying for a dr3 podium

— user5 : lmao you’ll need something stronger than prayer

user6 : can’t believe mother is dating this loser

youruser : whore

— user9 : 😅😨

youruser : I’m sorry I wasn’t aware I was running a brothel

youruser : who let you out of your cage long enough for you to post this

— user7 : girl pls ✋🏿 😭

youruser : who you trying to impress???? 😨😅

— danielricciardo : I’m sorry bookie, what can I do to make it up to you?

— youruser : you know what 😼🤭

— danielricciardo : on my way!

— landonorris : there are children on here!!!

— youruser : log off then norizz

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youruser : THANK UUU SO MUCH LONDON! Always a pleasure performing for you, truly one of the best crowds! Now if you’ll excuse me my man is waiting for me in our hotel room with nothing but edible underwear on 🤤

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lewishamilton : an amazing show as always y/n! But was that last part really necessary?

— youruser : yes

user7 : your free speech… hand it over!!!

user21 : how she’s so down bad over a man well past his prime i can’t understand 🤷🏼‍♀️

— youruser : PAST HIS PRIME!???log off NEOWWW

— user32 : I fear she’s dickmatised 😔

user45 : love that they’re still in the honeymoon phase

— user47 : FR!! I need all their secrets! after almost 3 years and they’re still so in love with each other

danielricciardo : AWOOGA

danielricciardo : woof woof bark bark

— oscarpiastri : 😨😨

danielricciardo : I ate the underwear 3 songs ago

— youruser : we can’t drive any faster 😭

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youruser : I see your “Danny Ric is a loser who doesn’t deserve y/n” and raise you “LOOK AT HIM, LOOK AT MY MAN, LOOK AT HIS BIG GORGEOUS, RIDEABLE NOSE, AND HIS TATTED THIGHS AND HIM IN A SUIT!!! RATTLING ON THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE!! I NEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEED HIM, GOD FORGIVE ME FOR EVERYTHING IM GOING TO DO TO THIS MAN WHEN I GET HOME FROM THIS DINNER, THE SLOPPIEST TOP THATS EVER GUNNA SLOP IS COMING HIS WAY!” oh btw Agora Hills out like rn! view all comments

maxverstappen1 : oh… uhm okay. NURSE SHES OUT AGAIN

— youruser : don’t be jealous cause I’m doing your man on the daily

— maxverstappen1 : 😨

— user65 : lmao y/n stays traumatising these drivers

landonorris : listened to the song! Great! Cool! Cool cool cool. Didn’t need to know all that but really good I guess

user70 : you know I’m starting to see the vision

lewishamilton : y/n… is this why youre on the phone rn?

— youruser : sorry wrong number

— lewishamilton : this is social media

— youruser : no habla ingles!!

user1 : not the random picture of you on the second slide

— user3 : that’s what I’m saying 😭 like is this not an appreciation post for your man?

— youruser : god forbid a woman look hot and post it! need to show you guys he’s taken by a bad bitch!

danielricciardo : forever grateful you chose me to spend life with 💞

— youruser : oh… we not being horny rn?

— danielricciardo : my draws are off rn

— lewishamilton : OH this is why y/n just sprinted out of the room

— youruser : forever grateful you chose to spend life with me too 💙💙

— user47 : she sends him blue hearts??!????? Is it for visa cashapp paypal venmo el matador racing bulls

— user76 : girl 😭 you good???!

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danielricciardo : I wanna tie the knot. I wanna show you off

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youruser : DANIEL RICCIARDO, propose to me for real goddamit!! You coward

— danielricciardo : working on it baby

— youruser : ooooo I need you so bad rn

user56 : sooo only fans when

— danielricciardo : my eyes only sorry

user78 : y’all are nasty

— user67 : in the best way!

user81 : sending you lot my therapy bill

lewishamilton : I love y’all but don’t you ever get tired

— danielricciardo : yeah she tires me out all the time

— youruser : yeah I do baby!!

youruser : my man

— danielricciardo : my woman

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

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[uncle-fruity]

HEY! HEY, YOU! YEAH! YOU!

Have you ever heard the phrase, "Your friends aren't your therapists"?

If you've been on the internet enough, I think it's a sentiment that's pretty difficult to miss.

But you know what that means, right?

It's meant to warn people not to place too much personal baggage onto their friends when they should be unpacking it with a professional. It's to say that venting to your friends shouldn't be your main source of coping. That is to say: most of your friends are probably unqualified to untangle complex emotional & mental health problems, and if you expect them to endlessly listen to your problems & have them help "fix" you, then that's usually going to end up in stress and tension in your relationship (or worse).

Do you know what "Your friends aren't your therapists" DOESN'T mean?

It DOESN'T mean that you shouldn't ever seek any emotional support from your friends or that you should keep all your problems to yourself.

Yes, it's important to establish boundaries in all your relationships. If there's something you'd rather not hear from your friends (and vice versa) that should be talked about if it ever becomes relevant. If your friend is easily overwhelmed by a lot of emotion/stimulus, then you shouldn't dump serious emotional things without checking in to see if it's okay first. Over time, in a healthy communicative relationship, you get a feel for what's okay and what's not.

But goodness fucking me when I see folks say that they don't deserve to express their harder emotions because "friends aren't your therapists" I just... I mean woof y'all!

What kind of friend is a friend that doesn't care if you're upset? What kind of friend sees you struggling with something and tells you to deal with your own problems because they don't owe you anything? What kind of friend comes around only if you hide your pain at all times?

A fair-weather friend, that's what kind. A friend that's only around for the good times, and goes away during (metaphorical) storms.

If someone only wants to be a fair-weather friend, that's their prerogative. But I'm telling you all that you deserve the kind of friendship where your friends actually give a fuck about you. You deserve to take up space sometimes. You deserve to get heavy things off your chest with someone you love and trust.

If you want better, stronger, healthier friendships, it's important to understand that intimacy is about Knowing and Seeing and Experiencing someone authentically. Taking off whatever mask we wear to get through the world and being ourselves and sharing that with another person. Anger, pain, grief... tackling these issues with each other builds trust and intimacy and makes everyone involved feel more important & needed & cared about. Isn't that what all this is for?

Anyway, this is all to say: be open about your emotions. Communicate with your friends (& tbh in all your relationships). Learn each other's boundaries, but don't shut each other out just because emotions are scary to navigate at times.

Please be kinder to yourself. Seek intimate friendships, AND seek professional help when you need more support than your friends can provide. Just don't assume your friends can't give you any support! Assume that they love you and trust that they will tell you if they're at their limit. And if they *are* at their limit or if they just aren't comfortable with some conversations, respect that & don't try to force it onto them.

This has been a PSA. Thank you.

[lovelyladyabsinthewrites]

Can I request ACOTAR poly bats x mate reader? Who got killed if you don't write that the reader just got injured badly? Thank you!

Injury HC (ft. poly!mates Bat Boys)

While I love me some heavy angst, I just couldn't bring myself to kill off mate reader even if its just for a hc 😭😅

Warnings: lots of mentions of blood, wounded/dying!reader, polyamorous mates, injuries, healing, angst and fluff, ft. mor, ft. amren, ft. madja, ft. wraiths

woof where to begin

it would be damn near impossible for any of them to think rationally at the sight of blood coming from you, not their beloved who should only be full of smiles and laughter

bat boys become overbearing if you even get a papercut

But this. . . this was something else entirely.

So much blood that they feel sick from the rusty smell of it that permeated the air.

You looked so small and broken; Rhys has already come up with a thousand ways to kill whoever did this to you. You were their beautiful, proud, cunning mate.

The first one to make a move toward your body would be Rhysand. Always rational under pressure as Azriel and Cassian look around in case there was an ambush by the enemy. He feels sick to his stomach the entire time he's checking your vitals. When his fingers make contact with your blood soaked head, the sticky substance felt white hot. Rhysand could wash his hands millions of times and still feel that searing sting of your blood on his skin.

When they finally get you safely to Madja, you do manage to regain some consciousness, enough to reach out and grab Azriel's hand as everyone was leaving the operating room. Its difficult to move your lips to speak but you manage to plead for Azriel to stay. His shadows always soothed you.

There's no rest for Rhysand or Cassian unfortunately.

Despite Mor and Amren's best efforts, they can't drag your other two mates away from the door.

Rhysand being constantly updated by Azriel through his thoughts and shadows

Cassian tried not to let dark possibilities into his head. They banged against the door of his mind, loud and clear. If you died. . .

"She won't die." Rhysand would tell him sharply. He couldn't lose hope. But the steady smell of your blood that refused to lessen worried Rhysand greatly.

For Azriel, he was forced to stand there at your side as Madja did her best to put you back together. He refused to look away. There was absolutely nothing he could do to help.

He furiously clenches and unclenches his hands. Angry with himself for not being enough to protect you.

In the wee hours of the morning, Mor finds Rhysand and Cassian slumped together asleep. She put a blanket around them and takes a seat to join them in awaiting news. Amren soon follows suit once she has risen from bed by worry.

Finally, Azriel emerges into the waiting room.

Cass and Rhys leap from their seats

You're alive, although incredibly weak.

Madja had to bind and fix your bones while also trying to stop your bleeding. The most important thing was that you would live with some major scarring.

For the next several months, you acquired three overbearing nurses.

Not that you were complaining.

They only allowed Madja to tend to you and that was just during your checkups. Even the Wraiths' cooking was monitored by one of the bat boys.

Azriel and Rhysand had the tenderest hands when they changed your bandages or moved you around so you wouldn't get bed sores.

When you were well enough, Cassian would carry you to the outside garden so you could enjoy the warmth of the sun personally. You'd sit on his lap with your head resting on his chest. You liked listening to him talk as your ear was pressed close to his heart.

You had to tell them to shut up a few times because of how often they would apologize to you about letting you get hurt. It wasn't their fault, you'd argue to deaf ears. This was actually motivation for you. To remedy this and prevent getting hurt this badly ever again, you'd have to train more. Get stronger so your mates wouldn't blame themselves for you getting hurt in their absence.

Rhysand may be the only one who doesn't coddle you during any kind of physical therapy. He's one for tough love. Cassian too. Poor Az is utterly helpless.

Oh, you're out of breath? Let me carry you, sweetling. Rhys and Cass being too difficult? I'll give them a talking to.

Once fully healed thanks to your bat boys, you feel stronger and better than ever.

[lilcriceta]

I've been going crazy with Collector AU (by @cutepotatook) lately and I made this babi :> I want to show her off a bit :>

My English is very bad so please don't criticize me if you find any wrong grammars or words ;v;

★ My baby is Collector! Astray. She is a 10 year old little girl :>

★ Her design is slightly based on Collector Y/n's design ;v;

★ Ngl when Astray has great affection or admiration for these two people :>

★ Anyway, Layra by @softlantern :>

★ About Astray's lore, she was born as a creation of God. From childhood, she was always pampered and cared for very carefully by them (God in A's universe has no defined gender). Because of that, she has a great love for her God and is very attached to them like a child would do to its mother.

★ Until one day, the God created new creations, took care of their new children and gradually spent less time with Astray. At first she didn't mind much, but gradually she had a hunch that God was probably spending too much time with her new siblings. One time she asked for a hug from the God, they ignored her, making her feel a bit sad. Even though she told herself that everything was okay, a part of her was harboring jealousy. Astray's jealousy grew stronger and stronger as she observed the children being lovingly cared for and cherished by the God, she could not hold back her jealousy.

★ When she couldn't stand it anymore, she committed a heinous crime. She lured another of her siblings to a secluded place, and with a weapon in hand, she used it to vent her anger brutally on that child. Whatever comes must come, Astray's crime was discovered by the God. They were angry and punished her by causing her body to be tormented in extreme pain, her soul to pieces, she lost all her memories, was banished to a terrible place and forgotten by everyone (the two pictures above are when Astray was banished to the terrible place called The Void Realm). The little girl was banished there with many bleeding wounds in the shape of sparkling stars shining on her body, she was completely exhausted.

★ The Void Realm where she was banished to was not a good place. It is a place where there is no sun, not a single ray of light, it can be said with certainty that nothing like that exists. The Void Realm is a space covered in pitch black (the whole sky is black, the surface is only black water). Due to her exhausted state, she was unconscious there for an unknown amount of time (but let's just say it was a long time). Luckily, she was found by Collector! Wally was in a state where her body was floating on the water. Then Collector took Astray home and let Helper! Wally takes care of her wounds while he tries to put the pieces of her soul back together. The two of them took care of the little girl until she woke up, letting her live in the Collector's mansion :>

★ This is just a silly little comic where the duo encounters someone who wants to harm the little girl :> The truth is that Astray falls asleep very easily when she is in someone's embrace, no matter how big or small the embrace is, she will still fall asleep. Collector and Helper often witness such things, but I think they will simply put her to bed😭😭😭

★ A small fun fact is that Collector often calls Astray by cute nicknames like: Little Dove ; My Angel ; Little one ;... when she got used to life here. As for Helper, he simply calls her by her real name ;v; As for Astray, she often calls Collector Mr. Collector and Mister (she is used to using honorifics, a habit when she used to live in heaven) and with Helper, she calls him Mister or Mr. Blueberry (she calls him exactly what she thinks of him :P)

★ Woof the family trope so much hmu- I think Collector, Helper and Astray fit the family of three, the warm and happi one🥹🥹🥹 (don't mind me, I'm being silli now😔😔😔)

[augusgus]

he only wants to play (m.)

In which you attach a leash to Dottore's harness but fail to take into account that not every dog can be tamed. Alternatively: he bites.

pairing: dottore x fem!reader

tags: biting, finger sucking, reader's a bit of a brat, does this count as pet play?? mock pet play?? things mistakenly filed under pet play???

a/n: happy april fools day

Dottore was enjoying the silence. It was a rare moment of peace. Until it suddenly wasn't.

A click. And then, "gotcha!"

Admittedly, it took him a moment to comprehend the situation in its entirety, and that there was now a leash attached to the harness on his upper body. A leash that, when he trailed along it with his eyes, led to your hand holding it.

And the mischievous grin on your face as you tilted your head to the side.

"Aren't you a pretty boy," you cooed, reaching with your free hand to pat his hair before jumping to sit on the desk in front of him. Your feet were dangling from the edge and much too close to his pristine white suit to his liking. Not that he seemed to have a say in this situation anyway.

Tugging slightly on the leash, you tested the waters. But you were lucky and he wasn't annoyed so much as simply unimpressed with your little performance, and maybe - not that he'd admit to it - even a little intrigued.

You crossed your legs over each other and, smiling brightly, pulled on the leash again - only this time a lot stronger than before and Dottore found himself leaning forward, his head automatically raising to look up to you. You puckered your lips at him in an imitation of a kiss.

"Now, give me a bark, pretty please~"

He scoffed.

"And why, pray tell, would I want to do that?" It was the first time he'd opened his mouth ever since you'd disturbed his solitude and it showed in his tone. He sounded dry, very dry, almost sarcastic.

Because he sure as hell didn't want to... bark.

This time, you tilted your head to the other side, blinking big innocent eyes at him. "How do I put this..." You pretended to think, index finger lightly tapping against your lower lip, but he could fathom the curl at the outer corners of your mouth. "There might be a way for you to get a lot more funding for your research! Though there's still some, should I say, cajoling to do?" You grinned, "you know, for assurance."

He kept quiet for a moment. As a scholar, nothing should be put above knowledge, and gaining access to said knowledge, in terms of importance. If he let a promising opportunity for funding go to waste, it would be more than merely irresponsible. It'd be downright stupid and he prided himself on being a little more intelligent than that. Not even his pride was to take precedence over this duty that he knew himself to be bound by.

Not even his pride...

He winced inwardly.

"...Woof."

The way the word rolled over his tongue was crisp with thinly veiled distaste and reluctance. You didn't think you'd ever heard something pronounced this harshly.

A giggle erupted from your mouth before you could hold it back. "What a good boy! Now, hand!"

Holding out your own hand, you eagerly waited for him to put his gloved one in yours. Only to be surprised when he instead interlaced his fingers with yours to pull you towards him and off the desk with a calculated tug. You almost fell onto his lap, stumbling over his outstretched legs, though you were able to brace yourself against his chest with your free arm. Your eyes widened when you found yourself face to face to Dottore.

He grinned as he slowly guided both of your hands towards his mouth, easing them until your palm rested against his cheek, the tips of your fingers just about brushing over the edge of his mask. Turning his head slightly, he leaned into your touch and it was already too late when alarm bells started to ring in your head at his sudden affection, for you to stop him from roughly digging his teeth into your palm.

"Ah?" The sound you made was fleeting, an involuntary reaction, and you could feel his lips forming a lazy smile against your skin. He let go, deep indentations left on your palm.

"Hm? Not what you wanted?"

The smug satisfaction in his voice made you scowl. But when you tried to pull your hand back he held it pressed against his cheek, grip not wavering the slightest even as you kept tugging.

"Perhaps..." He hummed, "ah, would you have me do this instead?"

Nuzzling his nose against your palm, he slowly kissed over the bite marks, lips cool and firm on your heated skin. You couldn't see his eyes but you felt the heaviness of his gaze, the unspoken challenge in it, as he eventually lifted your hand from his face only to tighten his hold around your wrist almost painfully.

You gave him a pout, "le'go. You're s'pposed to be obedient, you're no fun like that."

"Oh?" His voice was laden with condescension. "Aren't I a good boy?"

The huff caught in your throat when he raised your fingers to his lips and without warning sucked your thumb into his mouth.

It felt warm and wet and heat flooded your face with embarrassment at how the pressure of his tongue sent shivers down your back. How you lost the strength in your knees when he grazed along the skin with his teeth - the amusement that was radiating off of him as palpable as the slight trembling in your limbs that you couldn't seem to control.

He released your thumb with a quiet pop and a string of saliva connected to his lips before he pressed a sloppy kiss against the tip.

"Still not a good boy?" He drawled, the patronising smirk he sent you positively arrogant. "My, how difficult. Behaving doesn't appear to be my forte, don't you think?"

Lifting your index finger to his mouth next, he lightly bit down on it, just hard enough to make you feel his intention. A whine bubbled up in your chest when he soothed over it with his tongue but you managed to swallow it before it could reach his ears - the visual alone enough to have heat pooling between your legs, let alone the sensation of him wrapping his lips around your finger. For some reason it felt much too intense and... indecent, this warmth and intimacy.

With his gloved hand pushing down on your wrist, he opened his mouth to show off your finger pressed against his tongue - and this time you couldn't help but whimper. You didn't pull away, despite your embarrassment, despite the unexpected turn the situation had taken. You were mesmerised by the spit running alongside your finger and over the side of your hand, the wetness it left in its wake. By how turned on you were by it all and how it only served to fan the heady feeling fogging your mind.

With a smile he kissed down along the skin. Small, tantalising kisses until cool lips landed on your palm where he traced the markings left by him.

"For how little fun I supposedly am," Dottore mused sardonically, "you appear to be enjoying yourself quite... a lot."

He turned his head until his chin was resting on your palm. A mockery to the obedience you were demanding earlier.

"I suggest you try on the leash this time." He guided your hand to your own mouth, smearing the wetness that had remained on your thumb over your lips. "perhaps I will make you my bitch then."

[sociopathicartist]

UT sans head-canons

(romantic)

predating -

he’d probably act little to no different when he develops a crush.

i mean, clearly some things will stand out such as, how much time he’s spending with you, how much he talks about you, etc, but overall i don’t feel like you could just tell when he likes someone. he probably would try to clean up a bit around you though, and get you little gifts here and there to be nice but not suspicious. (a candle you pointed out while shopping, friendship bracelet, etc.)

-

he does seem to get nervous actually a bit more frequently in the game, but his lax and lazy demeanor helps him keep it a bit chiller. if he was to develop feelings he’d definitely show that nervousness a tad bit more.

-

i’m not going to say that i feel like he wouldn’t realize he has a crush, because despite sans being very monotone he is very aware of his emotions.

it would probably just take a while of feeling the romantic surge towards you and making sure this isn’t just something that will fade within a few weeks before he ever actually initiates anything.

-

if you meet him above the surface, (which, you probably would), i don’t think he’d wait a super long time before confessing.

i know that he’s not really open with anyone about his personal feelings or past, even when you’ve stripped away his brother and friends he barely spills anything extremely relevant other than nihilism and greif, but i do think he’d confess soon. i almost feel like the nagging feeling of having a crush would just get a bit annoying for him if it doesn’t fade away and becomes stronger. not annoying in the sense of ‘god this is really annoying to be around them all the time and feel like this’, but more in the ‘god this is really annoying to be around them all the time and not actually be with them’ type of way. i think that just being around you all the time and wanting more but not knowing how you felt would drive him to confess sooner. if it’s obvious that you like him, though, i do feel like he’d wait a tad longer in that case. few months overall on both situations give or take.

-

he wouldn’t make the confession super romantic.

i just never saw him as an extremely or romantic guy in general? i feel like he’s more on the side of sentimentality. he’d confess somewhere you both spent a lot of time at together (grillbys, the park, lake, etc…) and would just drop it middle of conversation or completely unprompted. (that is, if you don’t confess first. woof that would take a big weight off his shoulders.)

-

he’d definitely notice little details about you.

like i said earlier, i just dont feel like he’s a romantic guy. i don’t mean that in the sense of like ‘he’s just so lazy and doesn’t care to actually do anything with you’ because we do know he does make attempts for people, like how he tried baking something because toriel baked. thats thoughtful. he just seems like he’d prefer to get you sentimental and well thought out gifts and dates, etc. things that shows he actually does care about you, just not in the big display of roses and balloons.

<3 dating -

dating him at first wouldn’t really feel much different than just being best friends with him, give or take a kiss here and there. that’s just at first, though. first 1-2 months.

while i don’t shun away the head canon of him having crushes before hand, (the underground was big, and he wasn’t always extremely lazy. he’s nihilistic, not emotionless), i don’t think he’s actually dated anyone before.

that doesn’t mean he’s stupid by any means, he knows how to date, he just never really cared or wanted it enough to do so before you.

so things would probably start out slow and would stay slow for a hot minute. you might have to do some of the initiation parts to get things moving along.

-

once he’s comfortable, his self-care will definitely improve.

yeah yeah, i know the whole “sans is so depressed and wont get help and wont improve with any of his friends” idea, but thats not really sans IMO. he does feel happy and love being with his friends, we do have canon proof on this, again he’s not emotionless you guys. i think if he just actively had someone showering him with love (especially in a romantic manner) he’d start improving. we know sans used to not always be super lazy, and we know he did play a big part in raising papyrus, even if it wasn’t for all of his upbringing, so while he’s always been a tad lazy he definitely spiraled down at some point along the line. having someone love on him, compliment him, cuddle him, etc, would make him want to actually take care of himself a bit more. fix his room a little bit, clean himself up. it is a bit hard to care for others when you don’t know how to care for yourself.

-

he’d buy and make you silly little gifts from time to time.

nothing suuuuper often, just here and there to where you’re not expecting it, but you’d get a tad suspicious if you’ve gone over a month without something.

it could just be something simple. a silly couples ring he found at the store, or maybe he went out and decided to grab you some breakfast, dropping it off to you and waking you up. just things he knows makes you happy but aren’t too over the top. not to say that he wouldn’t do anything nice for you if you had an anniversary or had a birthday, etc.

-

i could see him being very physically affectionate, you know?

i don’t really see him getting too cozy with friends or anything, he’s very reserved with his mannerisms (most of the time), partially because i don’t think he’s ever actually dated anyone before and probably doesn’t know that he’s craving the physical affection until he actually got it.

it would most likely be the first time actually cuddling with you, arms intertwined that he’d realize how much he literally enjoys being closed around in your warmth. most likely he’d be a cuddle bug after that. arms always around your waist and shoulders, always leaning on you and running his fingers in your hair. just being with you would become comforting to him. honestly, the longer you start dating the harder it would be for him to actually go be alone in his room again without you by him.

this was my first ever try on an actual head-canon list, please be nice if it’s not well done:3

[pulpbeing]

you should make him bark for you. make him hump your thigh and bark so he can cum, maybe tightening the collar on his neck just a little so he feels his throat squeezing. a leash would suit his outfit well i think 💭

okay okay okay okay let me cOOK

barking.

donald’s way too fucking eager for praise. his ‘dispatch complete’ line, for example, where his voice drops as he asks for a ‘commendation ceremony’— your praise. he loves when you invest in his abilities to make him stronger, more powerful, shackle him further, make him yours even more than he already was. he wouldn’t think twice before barking for you if you even mutter it with half a mind or have your heels on his throat: he’s barking, full-chested and smiling, just because you wanted him to do it. he’ll bark, bark all day, howl from pleasure, he’s forgetting his words as he whines as you push yourself back into him, dragging his shaking legs back to wrap around your waist and go for another round… and he’ll still let out a weak ‘w-woof’ as he presses as close as his body could allow.

humping.

dear lord i need this in my life. no cap as the kids say. like barking, you don’t even have to finish the sentence, let alone repeat it even once as he strips himself of his clothes and leaves nothing but that collar on, maybe that necklace that falls perfectly between his tits. his funny little carefree, blasé attitude he usually holds crumbling away the moment he’s alone with you because he’s just your puppy, your good boy. a good boy takes only what he’s given, and when told to only hump your thigh, your boot, your hand? he’ll do it, clinging to you all the while and thanking you, thanking you, thanking you, for letting him breathe, for letting him stay with you, for indulging him in his pleasure. it never takes him too long to cum like that— but don’t worry. he can go as long as you want him to. ignore his aging bones; he’s your good boy first and foremost, he can go as long as you tell him to. one, two, three, five loads coating your skin and his grip bruising as he thanks you once again.

the collar & leash. ( THE LEASH‼️‼️‼️ 🧎🧎🧎)

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fuck you fuck donald fuck fuck fuck i love leashes and collars and clear ownership that anchors the sub down. him keeping the leash on even in his cell just to see it hang from the collar on his neck, biting his lip shyly in a feeble attempt to distract himself of all his dirty little thoughts <3 donald who was breathless when you first got the pretty thing and personally put it on his bare neck, that proud gaze of yours making him melt like nothing else and solidifying the fact he was yours, set in stone before, until his death (shackles? more like marriage), this just shows everyone, sinners and not, the wealthy and the starved: he’s yours, yours, all yours. everyone knows he’s your lapdog, your darling puppy that stays at your side. donald who stutters when he spots your hand even nearing the leash, let alone the near orgasmic feeling of you pulling on it to make him follow you, get him even closer to you. he’s crawled on all fours and barked for you, leash in your hand as your precious pup keeps his hands down and uses his teeth to open up your pants to reveal what he’s grown to crave the most outside of your presence. donald whose eyes glaze over in pure submission any time you tighten his collar up or use the leash to keep him all too close for anything professional, having him rather obey you than think of getting more oxygen to live, panting like a proper dog if you don’t have him choking on something better. donald who, shit, you don’t even have to use your shackles on to get him to obey any command. dispatches, special training, sitting under your desk and staying quiet so your adjutant doesn’t hear as he deepthroats or suckles at your member. he’s got his head on your shoulder and whining like a needy little thing when he isn’t pawing at your pants, begging for you to use him because he knows you’re stressed </3 use him! he can take it! remind him of his place by stepping on the leash and forcing him away— not for too long, though. he might have grown addicted to his position under you.

[little-luna-llama]

Post mystic flour eps the cacaonian cookies return to crispia, yet not all have recovered from their brush with apathy.

Wildberry cookie, who turned around and came back just after the others had left on a gut feeling, goes to see them and sees crunchy chip who doesn't look right. He finds out that a lot of them haven't quite recovered their full emotions back, and while dark cacao did overcome mystic flour and got stronger he needs to recover himself before he can really help anyone else, Dark choco is doing his best but obviously is not fully prepared either. The unit get to go have a break while they all figure out what to do about the cookies who are struggling, some recover fairly quickly once they get back, some don't. Caramel, Crunchy and the other two among the latter.

Wild is utterly devastated and stays even longer to help find an answer. Helping out dark choco at first until dark cacao is back on his feet, and then focusing particularly on his boyfriend and trying to get a reaction, anything to prove he's under there. He gets a little progress via the creamwolf pack, sees the spark in crunchys eyes flash for but a moment when they all rush him for attention. After that though it's nothing and it's incredibly taxing to see all that passion gone.

He finds himself in the uncomfortable position of being the more openly emotional of the pair, and also asking himself if crunchy will still love him after, if he ever gets his feelings back. It's not a pleasant feeling to have when you have a ring in your pocket you'd been working on while he was away saving the world.

Caramel arrow is no help, arguably in a worse condition that Crunchy Chip, because he ends up talking to second watcher who is a wreck over his nieces condition, he already lost her parents, and to him this is even worse because she's still technically alive, but she's hardly spoke and not even taken to the training grounds to use her bow which she used to love doing.

Crunchy does notice the general mood and points it out.

Wildberry, being fed up by this point, just steels himself and tells Crunchy that once he's better he'll take him on a date. A proper one. No monsters or fighting or imminent doom. He knows he can get better and he will. They'll go have a picnic in the woods or go visit crunchys family over in his home village, hang out with the wolf pack or go get another herring jelly pie.

"I..... I think I'd....like ..that?"

"I know"

Then Wildberry kisses him and when they pull away all of a sudden crunchy reacts to it in his typical style, something like "woof, that was a surprise" or something

And they both laugh and then Wild suddenly realises that what they needed this whole time was some big feeling to kick start their emotions, all the quickly recovered soldiers had partners or children- (second watcher was too busy to give Caramel the overwhelming amount she would need to recover)

They both quickly report what happened and run off to find Caramel

[angelpuns]

those eight hour shifts are not fun bro :(

one time I had to work a nine hr shift bc someone called off and OOF that was not fun 😭

if I was usagi and I saw a half-naked bozo lookin dumbass (no offense Leo) after I just worked my ass off, bro better have his will wrote because I will send that idiot to Jesus.

Woof, you and Yuichi are both stronger than me ;-; I can barely work a 5-6 hour shift without feeling like hot garbage :/

Don't worry, Yuichi is absolutely gonna give hun a piece of his mind >:3

[gayometer]

Hello!

Can i request platonic odin, thor and loki x reader from the light of my life fic but is cunning and manipulative like makima to everyone else who isnt their family, they also can control forces such as wind, gravity and blood along with all other makima’s power like regeneration, control, etc. they are the god of devil and control and look like the younger boy ver of makima with her red hair and yellow eyes which has circles on them.

Thank u!

Not as innocent

Writer's block go BRRRRRRR

Also this is still gn but I guess masc appearance? Cause of the entire "younger boy version"

Also Makima.....BARK BARK

Does not believe it.

You're his sweet youngest child, you can't even control a cat, how can you manipulate an entire deity?

Regeneration and wind control is what he would prefer you focus on.

Although the blood control thing is something he sees as extremely useful, you can't counter someone who can control your blood.

Odin is still as protective and won't tolerate anyone saying you did something, and if there's proof?

"You gave them a reason"

You don't even fit what you're the god of! God of Devils? You're an angel.

Although, why does one answer with "woof"?

Does not believe it pt. 2

You're an angel, you can do no wrong.

He's glad you can regenerate, that's less infirmary visits if you get hurt.

The whole wind and gravity thing it also pretty neat to him, but you can regenerate that's more important.

He won't use his hammer while sparring with you, he goes easy and still wins.

Your gravity barley affects him, he's stronger.

He'll still teach you some things, but you're too cute to harm.

Thor isn't really an expert at socializing, but he's pretty sure devils don't bark.

He did however witness one of your "named human sacrifices" and he didn't bat an eye.

He's most likely the one to know about the switch, you can barely trick him after all (unless you're Jack apparently).

He can't control blood, but at least you can control him cause he HAS seen you make a lesser god pop just by controlling their blood.

Lowkey scared, he'll pass it off a respect, he's older so why should he be afraid of you?

Besides you completely change your act around your brothers and father, so he's safe.

Although a neat little "trick" you do with him is lowering the gravity and making him fall on his back.

Also make winds strong enough to blow him away. It's little fun and he gets you back by teleporting behind you and giving you a little scare, nothing serious you're still his precious little sibling after all.

He doesn't bat an eye at the manipulation, or when any deity comes to him saying you did something wrong, they always get the same two responses.

"You did something to them then, we did teach then how to defend themselves"

"Nah, you're lying you can't trick me"

[bulkyphrase]

Fluffy Steve Fest Rec List Day 3 - Eras Cats and Dogs

It's @fluffystevefest day 3! The theme for Wednesday is Eras, but I had a bunch of cat and canine stories that didn't have anywhere else to go, so that is what you're getting.

Maybe we can consider these stories as taking place in Steve's animal transformation and accidental cat acquisition eras?

Yeah, lets go with that.

(the kitten invasion fleet has arrived) by @labelleizzy (Gen, General Audiences, 1,000 words)

Summary: what if the first contact with nonhuman life forms comes about in a different way? Also available as a podfic read by blackglass

A Matter of Language by DepressingGreenie (@darthbloodorange) (Thundershield, General Audiences, 774 words)

Summary: Clint is pretty sure Thor has been using some sort of magical mind reading to understand Steve. Also available as a podfic read by @akaihyou

woof by Anonymous (Gen, General Audiences, 5,085 words)

Summary: For a prompt on the avengers kinkmeme: "...something different happens when Steve gets Dr Erskine's serum plus the Vita ray treatment... Steve does get taller and stronger, but when the first full moon hits, he turns into a big friendly looking dog. Yes, he's a weredog, not a werewolf."

someone’s gonna pay for this by @lazulisong (Gen, General Audiences, 291 words)

Summary: Prompt from leupagus: Steve as a cat. Shhh, just go with it. Also available as a podfic read by sisi_rambles

Get Some Now by @sineala (Stony, Teen And Up Audiences, 10,376 words)

Summary: Avengers Mansion has a mysterious feline infestation. Meanwhile, Steve just can't figure out how to ask Tony out on a date. And the thirteen teleporting cats sure aren't helping matters any. Also available as a podfic read by where_thewind_blows (@flowersthroughthecracks)

Cat Nap by @galwednesday (Stucky, Teen And Up Audiences, 8,883 words)

Summary: Objectively, losing the Bucharest safehouse and its contents was the least of Bucky’s problems. The balding agent he’d seen directing the raid was apparently affiliated with SHIELD, which was a shadowy government agency that made representatives from other shadowy government agencies suddenly remember urgent appointments when Bucky tried to bribe, threaten, and otherwise shake them down for information on what the hell SHIELD might want with a former brainwashed assassin. Dodging SHIELD should be his number one priority. Subjectively, he wanted his fucking cat back. Also available as a podfic read by quietnight (@quietnighty)

[xeno-bio-sociology]

Would it even be possible for a Mother Grub-like creature to exist on a humanoid species scale without magic, considering the vast caloric intake it would need just to exist even without constant egg-laying? Speaking of, how fast do you think it could produce eggs? I'm trying to figure out numbers for the troll population and that's my starting point.

Woof, hmmm....

It's interesting because I have wondered some of these things myself before, wanting a place like Alternia or any other giant-animals & dragons world to be plausible, but I don't have the background to get into the actual science of it. But let's see how far I can get and then hope that someone else can fill in the gaps.

Okay, so the three major constraints we'd be working with here are: structural integrity vs gravity and square-cubed law, air intake and blood circulation vs square-cube law, and calorie intake vs food chains and square-cube law.

For those who don't know, the square-cube law is the principle that the mass/volume/weight of an object grows faster (x3) than its surface area (x2) or the measurement of its height/length/depth in one direction (x1). An ant, being much smaller than a human, needs proportionally less muscle to fight back against gravity. Its exoskeleton doesn't need to be made of a super-tough material to withstand most of the impacts it receives or to easily contain all the bodily tissues. It needs less oxygen and what oxygen it has can reach all its tissues even without a special tube system to pump it all over the place, and it can survive on a very small amount of calories. If you simply embiggened the ant to a human size it would collapse and be unable to breathe.

So let's take this one at a time: structural integrity Our mother grub needs to be made of much stronger material than an ant is. There is precedence for this, found in other animal kingdoms. Elephants manage to move around despite their size, as did the dinosaurs before them, with huge dense bones and similarly meaty muscles. And both the scaly-footed gastropod and some rodents integrate metals into their bodies to toughen their shells and teeth respectively.

This is an alien from a different planet and evolutionary tree after all, we do not have to stick to the traits we can observe in the insect kingdom on our own planet here. Calling trolls and mothergrubs insects or insectoid is simply a shorthand for convenience and we can decide that they've convergently evolved these adaptations or whatever else we might invent to allow them to work as we wish, we just have to make the actual function make scientific sense. So, the mother grub's exoskeleton is metal-infused, and she might have a secondary internal skeleton to hold her up as well, as a solid core to hand things on is more structurally sound and mobile than a can around it. Or perhaps a more honeycomb-like approach, with supports scattered throughout; like a building with rooms. Maybe it evolved in a kind of opposite way to how a turtle did, where it had an internal skeleton that then grew into a shell. Or perhaps it is a new structure that we do not have an equivalent for in our insects. Either way, that's the exoskeleton out of the way.

As for muscles, while I think it's possible for them to have evolved them to the point that they can have the typical thin limbs of an insect, since we can see that mechanical devices can operate under such contraints, I think it's likely that that the limbs in general and the weightbearing and locomoting legs especially are significantly chunkier than we would see on an ant.

I will say however, that it is entirely possible that the mother grub in particular is not especially expected to move around by herself, and typically relies on drones and jadebloods to do much of anything. Pretty sure that’s how termites do. Perhaps Kanaya's virgin mother grub is also smaller than she is depicted; though the opposite could be true and most mother grubs do not regularly attain such sizes and either the lusus fluke or her being unmated contribute to her being as large as she is. We simply do not see any other mother grubs, though the implication that the skull on Terezi's scale is from one would suggest that the inverse is true and mother grubs can be enormous indeed. Either way, she probably doesn’t fly unless she’s much lighter than she looks and maybe filled with helium. Perhaps the wings are decorative? Or maybe they function as part of a heat-dissipation system or even for oxygen exchange themselves?

In any case, onto the next issue: air and blood circulation

As you probably already know, insects have a much different respiratory system to vertebrates. Instead of a central hole or three to breathe from and a sac to breathe into, where it dissolves into the blood and then a bunch of tubes all around the body to take the blood to the tissues, they tend to have what are called "spiracles," a bunch of little holes in their skin big enough for the air to enter and a tube to take the air to the tissues directly. The problem with this on a large scale is 1: less surface area:volume means you have less space for spiracles, 2: more volume:size means it's harder to get the oxygen to all the tissues you've got packed in there. Letting the oxygen essentially just passively absorb just isn't very efficient.

In past eons some invertebrates have gotten around this to get much larger than they are today by the simple expedient of there being significantly more oxygen in the air than there is these days. We can also get a heck of a lot more leeway by updating our mother grubs to have a heart and blood and veins and such. Something more complex than the simple book lung that spiders and such have. For reference, while the largest terrestrial invertebrate that ever lived was a 110lb millipede we think that the blue whale is pretty much the largest an animal can get with a mammalian circulatory system before the heart just can't pump the blood through the body fast enough, and it comes in at 199 tons (two-hearted whale when).

So pump up the oxygen level (not too high or there's fire explosionsm especially under the alternial sun), and maybe decrease the gravity on the planet and things can grow pretty big. Maybe you could even switch out oxygen and carbon as the main elements we're looking at here and get a boost that way too. I’m not big on chemistry or how things work, so maybe oxygen and carbon are the only things that’ll work here, but for instance the atmosphere on earth is 78% nitrogen and only 21% oxygen and humans don’t even do anything with the nitrogen, so even assuming that humans have to breathe the same air as exists on alternia (not a safe bet, as each species would have some wiggle room in terms of air composition and all humans were godtiered and capable of surviving in the vacuum of space [or at least the medium] by the time they were face-to-face with the trolls, and Earth C is both dubiously canon and potentially contains species that are not quite the same as those on either earth or alternia) you’ve got plenty of space to fill with some alternate gas in there.

So we’ve got a metal-plated, well-muscled mother grub who maybe doesn’t move around so much and has anatamy containing lungs, pumped blood, and veins. Maybe she’s got spiracles still and they work like our own airways or maybe she’s got a big honker of a nose like humans do, but either way we’re cooking with fire here. We’ve made the planet lighter and changed the O2 content and maybe we’re working with a silico-hydrate base for all our flesh-building purposes and thicken up the air so it’s soupy and bouyant. Heck, maybe we shrink everything we see over on alternia and the trolls themselves a bit, and they’re only depicted as of equal size as humans for story reasons or maybe everything gets resized to a default setting once it enters the medium for convenience’s sake. Whatever, it’s not important cause now comes the problem that I keep running into headlong each time I try to tackle an alternia-like ecosphere. The food web.

Cause, see, the mother grub by her self and trolls as a whole, they’re not a problem. (Well, not until they start taking all those nutrients to space)

The problem is this: Lookit how many giant predators and hyper-predators there are. Lookit this dragon. That is canonically a newborn. She can fly and breathe fire. Lookit this horrorterror. She canonically eats a ton of land and surface dwelling meats and isn’t just subsisting off of chemical vents or something.

All that mass, the energy to go flying off into the sky with extra to (literally) burn? That’s gotta come from somewhere. And on the one hand, we have maybe a partial answer: the sun. Specifically, that it is implied to be extremely hot and strong and maybe close. Not explicit, since Trolls could be unusual in their being nocturnal and even looking at our sun for long will blind a person, but the implications are there and we can run with them to a big, hot, super energy source ripe for the taking. The problem with that is that energy typically doesn’t flow down the food chain very far. We like to think of the food web as being a self-sustaining perpetual motion machine, but that’s just not true. So much energy is lost at each step, often as heat. And then that heat dissipates into the atmosphere and then escapes out into the greater universe. Think about it; how many seeds does a bird have to eat to grow to its adult size, and then to sustain it every day? Then how many birds does a cat have to eat to do the same? And how many cats does a fisher eat, and how many of those does a puma need in its life? It’s a lot. It’s exponential at each step, since a creature must spend so much energy just maintining its daily life and can’t put it all on body growth. And then all of that big long chain has to be sustained on vast quantities of plant matter, who generate their own bodies from the sun. There is of course a secondary chain that “starts” with detrivores like fungus and flies, but is by necessity focused on a much smaller amount of resources than the main chain.

So we’re limited by the following:

- how much energy the sun makes

- the % of that energy that makes it to alternia

- the amount that bounces off alternia or its atmosphere before it can be harvested

- the % of that energy that photosynthesizers can harvest

- the % they can store

- the % they need to live and propegate until they are eaten

- how much the herbivore needs to grow and live and eat and reproduce

- the efficiency with which the herbivore stores the energy gain

- how much the creature that eats the herbivore needs to use

- how much ITS fat can store.

- and so on

We can mess with any and potentially all of the steps in the chain to increase potential length of it and allow more and more massive and widespread superpredators at the end of it. We’ve already started that by increasing the potency of the sun, but each change will have repercussions. For instance, if energy is so widely available then why bother to evolve anything more complicated than photosynthesis itself? I once heard an author say that one needs to have two levels of answers to worldbuild convincingly – to solve the first problem and then to solve the follow-up question. That after that people will be satisfied. Something about fighting nuns. Where did the nun learn to fight? In the sewers. Why was she in the sewers? To fight the crocodiles.

So: We amp up the sun. Why bother evolving herbivory? The sun is too hot and withstanding it is costly and resource-intense. Not everything can be a plant because not everything has the sun-blocking resources, and there is a niche for nocturnal herbivores who don’t have to invest in sun protection. Why carnivory? The sun-block also makes the plants tough and hard to eat and digest; eating meat is relatively quick and easy.

The same thing can be done at other steps. Maybe we make animal life on alternia more efficient: they can do all work of living without creating much waste-heat, and their versions of digestion and fat pack in more calories denser.

But again, the nitty gritty science is not my area of expertise, and these are the questions that can keep me awake at night. What kind of solutions could make the food chain more efficient? What kind of pressures would encourage long food chains, large fat stores, and giant hyper-predators? How can we engineer an environment that will predispose this planet to logically evolving dragons?