#and if u try to tell me 'your suffering is what makes u trans!!!'

[jaidenk-nox]

Elizabeth midford

Shitty 2AM rant on the Misogyny that Lizzy has faced since the very start but it's the perspective of someone who has witnessed the horrors of Misogyny in Spanish speaking fandom

I should mention that English is not my first language and I'm not very good with it either, so most of this was done with Google Translate and I tried to correct what I could, I hope it's at least readable

I've never seen enough people point out the fact that Elizabeth midford character also defies the "Girlboss" archetype, she is definitely physically strong and can protect herself, but she is A 15 YEAR OLD GIRL, who manages her emotions like someone her age would and also exhibits many neurodivergent traits. I have always been bothered by the way physical strength is misunderstood as a "girlboss" trait, the simplest example I can think of is Ran Mao, she possesses brutal and superhuman strength. but it doesn't make her a girlboss, in case anyone forgets Ran is a girl who barely reaches 18 years old and is exploited by an opium trader who also seems to be involved in human trafficking (implied in the manga). Is she really a girlboss? girlboss when her physical strength is more of a requirement to SURVIVE while working as an assassin and sometimes seductress (which u can tell she doesn't enjoy much)? Obviously Ranmao's social reality is very different as she is a woman of color from the underworld, unlike Elizabeth, who is a white woman from the nobility. However, her physical strength has always been a double-edged sword for herself. Lizzy longs to get married, like any other girl her age, she longs to be protected but says goodbye to it the moment Ociel returns.

I may seem a bit exaggerated, but the way your sociocultural background affects the way you perceive and treat a character has me slightly traumatized, I wish I could give proof of the horrible and degrading treatment that Lizzy has received from the Spanish-speaking fandom.

I am a trans boy of color who grew up watching my female relatives being encouraged to rip their hearts out of their chest from the moment they turned 8yo for the simple goal of caring for and protecting my cis male relatives. household chores, cooking for them, washing their clothes, taking accountability for their actions. Their freedom and childhood as little girls were taken away from them. but none of that was ever valued, I never saw anyone recognize it as sacrifice.

Elizabeth is not a woman of color, nor does she have those demands as a woman of nobility, but she SACRIFICED stuff to try to protect Ciel on her own way, I have seen many people underestimate her backstory in book of Atlantic because "High heeled shoes aren't reason to cry." Everything Lizzy has done for Ciel is devalued, all her suffering has been minimized. losing so many family members in such a short time, losing the boy you were raised to marry your entire life. People truly forget that lizzy is still just a child, that she has the right to mourn everything she lost that day. She had to mourn publicly as a noble girl,she probably heard that she would never be able to get married or would never achieve happiness, I've never seen any adult to stop and think about how heartbreaking and soul shattering that must have been as a 11yo

I have seen how EVERY thing Lizzy does is judged. how her behavior, personality and temperament are criticized. but other characters like Soma just get a pass while doing the same stuff, but this does not just stop at gender, but also at age. people HATE girls and afabs who act like children when they are literally CHILDREN.

How is it possible that Lizzy has faced such harsh judgment from the fandom when there are other characters like Maam red, Lau, Grell, Undertaker who are universally ADORED or atleast respected in the fandom.

I love u Elizabeth midford but ur character makes me violently ill omfg

[transboysokka]

First of all, I'm soooo excited for that finished Zukki drawing. I am feral over it!! Also, could you maybe give a summary of each of your wips? I'm curious about all of them!

Thank you so much!!

Sure, I'd love to give some summaries! Then maybe y'all can PLEASE tell me what u are most interested in reading to help me figure out what I should prioritize?

The current priority is the one going by "Zuko Sees Sokka Fucked Up" lol bc @witchering10123 wrote the most beautifully painful Whumptober series about Hakoda and Sokka just Going Through It and I wanted to write the last two entries from Zuko's perspective when Sokka gets found because I think that would be so good and I love pain and suffering!!

Let's see... Modern Taiwan AU is the one I'm most excited about! This will be a long one and I've never written a modern AU before but basically it's based on SKAM (particularly season 3 of Druck) so it's like a cute trans love story BUT it is also going to have a LOT to do with Taiwan's ghost month and is going to be kind of inspired my Marry My Dead Body hehehehehe

Toxic Jetko I just posted about but basically it's my take on if Zuko and Jet had tried to make things work but it really just wouldn't have. It IS based kind of note for note on a real relationship I've had in the past because the dynamic was way too Jetko and I was like wow wouldn't that be a great fanfic actually

(how terrible it is) to love something death can(‘t) touch is a FUCKING. VAMPIRE AU!!! and it's so so so far from being ready but it's uhhhhh basically like if IWTV was about Zukka and Izumi. So there is some Divorced Zukka in there and also references to asshole Zhao in flashbacks... It's going to be angsty and exciting, but probably also pretty long

i will not be great, but I’m grateful to get through is a very niche sequel to if i fade away (the awful things we do to make the head go quiet) because that is a Dead Dove fic with a cliffhanger ending and I'm excited for the healing that we will see in the sequel but it does deal with heavy shit so I haven't been super quick at writing it. It does fix the Big Problem we saw in the first one though.

ZAtD Katara Arc - So when I wrote Zuko Amongst the Dragons I rushed it a bit too much and I love the universe that has been created for it so I want to go back and revisit some stuff. I skipped over the Puppetmaster and the Southern Raiders episodes in the plot and I thought it would be cool to write something with that like a deleted scene where Dragon Zuko is with Katara dealing with these terrible things

ZAtD Izumi Epilogue - I couldn't fit this into the main story BUT I want to write like a 5-10 years later snapshot of Zukka so happy with Druk and Izumi and kind of revisit how Zuko is dealing with his humanness, and is he the Fire Lord or nah?

ZAtD Divorce Epilogue - This would be way later but I'm obsessed with the idea of Divorced Zukka BUT with their psychic connection from their Dragon Bond and like what would happen any time they get into a room together hehe

ZAtD Extended Torture Scene - This is just because I had so many ideas for when Azula interrogates Sokka at the Boiling Rock that I left out of the original fic bc it kind of disrupted the tone but I DO like whump and angst so I WOULD like to finish what I had kind of wanted for that scene muahahaha

So yeah anyway, any opinions on what I should try to finish and publish first???

[hard--headed--woman]

i feel kinda messed up rn bc before i got with my ex i had been convinced by the trans community that i was nonbinary and went by them/them for ages.

but my ex was a conservative controlling male basically and started calling me by she/her and my deadname even while i was telling him not too. (but obviously not for radfem reasons lol) eventually during the relationship i got into radfem theory and it was ur post about why a lot of women identify as nonbinary that actually started me thinking about it and i realised it pretty much described exactly me.

issue is, because my ex was so controlling and a lot of people would probably classify him as absuive, i still hate being called by she/her and my 'deadname' by anyone i know. now i just associate it with a control tactic and a way to make me feel shitty. on the other hand, i feel like im betraying my own beliefs and that i should try find a way to reconnect with those identifiers, but bc the wound is so fresh rn it was a far from easy

sorry that this is so long, i'm just kinda wondering if u have any advice, and i've just been considering how many other women probably try to identify out of being female because of trauma related reasons.

Hey, I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to tell me about it! I hope I will be able to help you a little bit!

First of all, please don't feel guilty for not liking being called by your "deadname" or referred to as "she/her". You've identified as non binary for ages, so you got used to it, and because of the abusive relationship you went through (sorry for that by the way, it's terrible and I hope you're doing better), this name and these pronouns remind you of your traumas, of the abuse you suffered, and make you feel bad. This is normal, you're not betraying any beliefs or any cause, it's is a human reaction and you're not doing anything wrong. I think most radfems would agree with me on that. No one can blame you so don't blame yourself.

Before anything else, I'll say that if you really can't hear that name and these pronouns, no matter how hard you try, don't force yourself. Maybe it's not what I should say but at the end of the day, if you try for a long time to accept this name and the female pronouns, and it doesn't work, no one would blame you for deciding to keep using your "new" name (or picking another one) and the they/them pronouns.

Now about your problem in itself. Well it might sound obvious but the best way to reconcile yourself with your name and female pronouns is to heal from your traumas due to this shitty relationship. Talk about it, for example to your friends or family, tell them how you feel, go out, focus on your hobbies and the things you like, meet new people if you feel like it, go to therapy if it helps, find a way to express your feelings... Do everything you need to do to feel better and move on. Step by step. It might take some time but you'll get there!

Same for your name and your pronouns. Do it step by step. Use them for yourself in your head first, or in writing. Try a diminutive of your "deadname" first, or going back to the full name again. Ask just one person to use she/her for you first, so you can get used to it again, and then ask more people to do the same thing. Talk with people who never had to call you they/them or by your other name, they will call you she/her and use your "deadname", it might help you a bit. In your head, try to distance this name and these pronouns from the abuse in itself, try to associate it with beautiful things and memories, or with your beliefs (like, "letting peoole use this name for me would be a feminist act", etc...). Step by step! I am sure you'll get there <3

As you said, the wounds are still fresh, it's normal that you need time. It will perhaps take some time but you will heal and you'll be able to hear your name and pronouns again, I know it. There's no hurry! Take your time. It's already amazing of you to learn radfem beliefs and become gender critical after years of identifying as non binary (and I am proud to have played a role in this haha!).

Have a good day and feel free to send me another ask/to dm me if you need/want <3

[menstits]

asking this as someone who never watched trigun, could u tell me why tristamp sucked? i normally see people praising it so I would love to know your take on it!

I'm gonna be honest with you anon it's probably going to be a long as hell response and i will probably put it under a read more. BUT. Since you asked politely I'm going to try to answer in good faith.

The short answer is that the designs are heinous, the pacing is dogshit and in the span of a season which was supposed to set up the story as a sort of prequel to the events of trigun maximum, which will allegedly be explored in the next season, tristamp already managed to not only completely mangle pretty much every single character's personality and motives but also miss the key point of trimax the literal climax of the story at the end by completely ruining knives as a character and as a villain right from the get-go.

I'm also going to go over tristamp's crimes in great depth because I'm a huge hater.

MAJOR TRIGUN SPOILERS under the cut 👍 if anyone wanted to read trimax

FIRST OF ALL the designs are literally so bad. They got rid of everything that was charming about trimax's character designs such as making vash look like some kind of pathetic softboy, getting rid of his spiky hair and tiny glasses and sexy long red coat in favor of making him look like the average undercut twink you can find anywhere in our day and age. AND they made every single woman in the show ugly as hell like they made meryl look straight they got rid of Milly altogether in the first season they turned rem ugly as sin and just flattened every adult woman's personality into being some brand of motherly figure. The biggest tristamp misogyny sufferer is ELENDIRA who is a villain and one of knives' evil henchmen or whatever who's cool as hell and pretty and probably the funniest character in the manga who is canonically a regular adult trans woman, they turned her into some kind of human/plant creature hybrid and turned her into a child for literally no reason other than being gross and transmisogynistic. Here's the comparison just so you have visuals for how heinous it is (left is trimax, right is tristamp)

Plot wise KNIVES is the biggest overall sufferer of tristamp dogshit writing because they literally just went and entirely flattened his personality into being oughh some kind of evil senseless villain when that's literally just not who he is. Knives and vash were both extremely compassionate and sensitive children who genuinely wanted to be able to get along with humans despite being independent plants. Finding out about how humanity exploits plants is what pushes them in opposite directions: after a suicide attempt stopped by his adoptive mother rem, vash stays true to the principles she taught them especially after her sacrifice that ensures their survival and becomes completely unwilling to take someone else's life even in self defense, which plays into his extremely self destructive behavior and suicidal urges

While knives completely rejects humanity and decides to free plants from humanity's exploitation, enacting his vengeance upon humans in the process.

Knives goes about this by "stealing" dependent plants from human settlements, often killing everyone in the process, and making them join his plant hivemind. In trimax it's revealed towards the end that dependent plants have a will of their own and already communicate with one another in the form of some sort of shared consciousness, and they all only joined knives' hivemind willingly because they were convinced by his arguments and willing to support his cause.

The way knives is defeated is through vash projecting towards the dependent plants all his positive feelings about humanity and all the ways in which humans can actually be kind and compassionate and capable of learning and becoming better people, which *convinces* the plants to willingly try to find a way to live alongside humans in harmony. Despite this, it's still made explicit that the plants don't hate knives for his initial plan, they were simply moved by the knowledge that humans are willing to try to live alongside them with mutual respect.

At the very end, knives and an unconscious vash, both exhausted and broken by their fight, escape authorities are taken in by a random human man and his son and are cared for until vash wakes up. As thanks for saving his brother, knives exhausts the last of his energy to generate an apple tree (or turn himself into an apple tree which is functionally the same thing) that can sustain the man and the child which represents him overcoming his distrust for humans in the face of such kindness given freely to two inhuman creatures wanted by the law and shit. This is the extremely dumbed down summary of what happens but this is just to convey how knives genuinely cares for dependent plants and thinks of them as his own family and they care for him in return and are part of his cause willingly.

In comparison, right in the first season of tristamp there's a weird as hell completely unprompted like forced pregnancy subplot where like . Knives tries to take control of vash to make him like . Use his plant powers to impregnate the dependent plants? So that they can give birth to more independent plants ? Because they just decided to make knives some kind of plant eugenicist for literally no reason who exploits dependent plants exactly as much as humans do for the sake of some perplexing incest adjacent plot point that literally doesn't exist in trimax because knives doesn't give a flying fuck about making more independents he literally just wants to take his whole plant family and leave that piece of shit desert planet so that humans can die with no resources. LIKE. I'm sorry but like knives is a terrorist yes that's well established but he's literally not impregnating anyone and the whole POINT. OF TRIMAX. Is that plants in general including knives are ultimately moved by humanity's capacity for selflessness despite being intimately aware of humanity's capacity for cruelty. The point of trimax is forgiveness and coexistence. And also. That a pair of twins that were kind children and raised with love to grow into compassionate people can react in extremely different ways to trauma and betrayal. Knives was NOT "evil from birth". If anything it could be argued that knives was MORE eager than vash to make friends with humanity and that that's why he reacted so badly to finding out that humans previously killed an independent plant girl like them by running so many tests on her that she got sick and died in the span of a few months . Also vash is not some stupid softboy bitch loser he's SUICIDAL and his pacifist message is effective on people like wolfwood because he actually saves people for real unlike loser idiot tristamp vash who whines and cries all the time without concluding anything.

Also the pacing is literally dogshit snd it's not even true that tristamp is an effective "prequel" of trimax because they were too eager to stick random elements from the end of the manga into it for literally no fucking reason. Something something why is Livio the bus driver etc.

[strwbmei]

i can't speak as a professional, but as someone who suffers from it, it definitely sounds like you have social anxiety to some level at least. and yeah, as someone who both is on the heavier side and also a trans woman, looking at myself always makes me feel awful and i hate it. as for the call thing- there are times where i just cannot even force myself to speak out loud at all, and whenever it happens on call i always feel really bad that i'm not speaking and they are. i want to be able to match them at their level, but i can't, and it makes me feel like a total disappointment. but it's good that you can focus on the good things, at least! i find that (even trying) to focus on the good things can be helpful, even if not fixing the issue, so i hope that works for you, too. also don't apologise for flooding the homepage with vents, it's always good to get ur feelings out! and what better way than to get it out to a bunch of strangers on the internet lol. but if u ever want to do extra venting but don't want to do it publicly, i'm personally willing to listen to it! either way i hope u feel better after venting ur feelings :))

Thank you, anon!

And don't put yourself down like that! I do get where you're coming from, though. When people tell you you're ugly your whole life, you start believing them no matter how much you've changed. It might be hard to believe sometimes, and you may or may not be conventionally attractive, but I'm sure you're still beautiful either way.

I feel especially bad when someone is telling me about something they're excited about. I'm happy for them, I really am— I just wish I could show it more.

For some reason, I find it easier to talk about my feelings to random strangers than my friends lol. Knowing that others feel the same way has given me a lot of comfort, though.

[pixeljade]

re: a reblog u made saying "If you are not fighting against republicans with every fiber of your being at this point you are not a trans ally. If you tolerate the republicans in your family without challenging their ideas about trans people you are not a trans ally. Fight for us goddamnit or we will be culled and our blood will be on your fucking hands."

I wanted to point out that I feel like this was a very harmful thing to say. As a black girl, fighting against republicans is very scary for me. Republicans (a lot of them are white men) are very racist and sexist, so me and a lot of others "fighting" them could put me in danger. Of course, this is true for a lot more than just black girls/women. Also, I feel like asking someone to challenge republican family members could get then kicked out as well, even if they're not trans. Just being openly allied to them could put you against your family members and threaten your safety.

I think that telling people who are scared or tired of fighting that they're transphobic and blaming them for the rampant transphobia won't make them act out, it'll just make them feel worse about themselves. We're not all activists, some of us are just people... people who are terrified. Anyways, thanks for reading!

Hey so

First of all you're misreading my whole damn thing here. Everyone seems to be actually so let me clarify

What I said does not translate to "You specifically, no matter your situation, HAVE TO challenge the people in your life". It translates to "You do not get to claim the Trans Ally title if you do not put in the damn effort to defend trans people".

Like. You're black right? To make a comparison (obv not a perfect one because different forms of oppression work differently, but bear with me here) this ask is like if I, a white person, went up to you saying "Hey so I never go out of my way to defend black people in my life or challenge racism, but I'm still considered anti-racist, because I said so!" Wouldnt that piss you off a little bit? For the record, I have fought for my black friends, and have been to Black Lives Matter protests and lifted up their voices and so on, but even then I dont believe I have the right to claim the title myself. Because, as a white person, I dont get to decide what "anti-racist" looks like. Y'all do, because you're the ones who are suffering from racism.

Same basic idea applies here. If you are cis, as I think is implied by this ask, you do not have the right to decide what qualifies you as a trans ally. Our lives are on the fucking line in this specific issue, and therefore it is our voices that count towards what allyship looks like.

Additionally, you seem to think this is a binary thing, where if you aren't a trans ally then you are transphobic, which is another thing that I did not say. No, you can be neither a trans ally or transphobic. You could be a neutral party. Now if that idea bothers you, because trans peoples lives are on the line and you decided not to help them out of fear of the risk that comes with it, thats your own thing to deal with. I do think its cowardly, to accept that trans lives are being threatened and to stay silent in fear, but honestly. We're all cowardly sometimes. Thats the nature of being human in such an era of fear. But ask yourself, are you okay with that cowardice? Are you okay watching people die knowing you could have risked yourself to save them? This is what I am trying to challenge people to question here. Because the fact is, that is exactly what will happen if people remain silent en masse. You can say "oh my condition is different, I have a REASON not to stand up and fight", but really, doesnt every single person alive have a reason not to? The risk alone is a reason! If we all just said "never risk yourself" then that would mean the fascist bullies that comprise the bulk of the Republican Party win, and therefore, that means that the rule of law is whatever they decide it is. Do you want to watch that happen and do nothing?

So there you have it. You're allowed to do nothing, you really are. And hell, I'm not even gonna go and make a moral judgment of you for it: I do think that morality is subjective and therefore if you decide its morally okay with you to stay silent then good for you. However I will not give you a cookie for doing bare minimum shit. I will not tolerate casual acceptance of those who are literally legislating away my existence. You do not get to call yourself a "trans ally" for doing nothing risky, you get to call yourself a "coward" instead. But hey, you're the one who has to live with that label. Me? I get to die with mine.

[transmasc-wizard]

lmao an ace exclus enby exclus truscum just reblogged my period dysphoria names post

im an asexual nonbinary person who tagged the post 'truscum dni'

anyway theyve been blocked and id like to state that aces, aros, enbies, and nondysphoric trans people are welcome and safe on my blog

[apricotbuncakes]

🏳️‍⚧️ Luigi is Trans Masc 🏳️‍⚧️

Long Post!!!

Now that I have your attention, here are some reasons that I headcanon Luigi as trans, based off of my own experience as a trans masc person.

1) He ghosts hunts even when he has the option to say no.

Could this be a ‘I have to save my loved ones from danger’ or a ‘this is the right thing to do even though I’m scared’ situation? Yeah! But I’m trans and grasping for straws, so let me have this.

I put this as a reason for him being trans, because I believe he’s doing it because he’s a man and he’s ‘not supposed to be afraid’.

Luigi is assumed to be 24, and his character was first introduced in the 1980s, specifically 1983. Assuming he was 24 when the first game released, he would have been born in 1959 (feel free to check my math on that).

Although his character was introduced in the 80s where men tended to be more feminine and flamboyant, he was probably raised with the idea that men should be tough and strong, and should lead. Even if we throw release date and age aside, even if he was born in my generation, those stereotypes of men still exist and are taught within society. Even as those norms are being broken day after day, he would have still been exposed to the toxic masculinity.

Luigi, from what we’ve seen of his adventures, tends to be more scared and less ‘tough’ than what was expected of a man. From what we know of Luigi, we can safely assume that (if he was trans) he would be doing this not only for his family and friends, but to prove he was tough and strong, and that he was manly.

2) He dresses like his brother.

Yes, he is a plumber by trade, but he also ghosts hunts, and makes bank off of that. You think he would wear a different outfit when he ghost hunts simply because denim Isn’t meant for physical activity. Anyone who’s run in jeans knows that it isn’t exactly meant to be stretchy. It’s (supposed to be) designed to withstand the test of time. So why doesn’t Luigi change from plumbing cloths (specifically his denim overalls) to something more suited for the running he has to do in various places for ghost hunting? Because Mario wears overalls and a t-shirt.

From what I’ve seen on social media, other trans people follow the lead of those around them who match their gender identity/their presentation. I would do the same was well. I would look at what my dad wore, what my brother would wear, and what guys at school wore. I developed my style after what I had seen, so I could pass.

While you don’t have to pass to be trans (or even have the desire to), it’s a common theme amongst trans people to try and blend in with cis society. This can be for safety reasons, or just because they want to fit in with their peers.

Luigi clearly looks up to his brother, crying tears of joy whenever Mario is saved from King Boo. He congratulates him when he wins events. He supports him, because he looks up to him. They’re brothers after all!

It makes sense that Luigi would mirror Mario, since they are so close. Since Mario is most often seen wearing his overalls, Luigi follows suit, because it’s what he believes guys do. He’s following the example that Mario set for him.

3) Luigi’s view on gender expression.

Luigi has had a couple of instances where he is known to ignore typical gender stereotypes, specifically with dresses.

In the game super Mario Odyssey, Mario can be seen wear a wedding gown with a veil, and Luigi is only concerned that Mario didn’t tell him about the wedding. There was no wedding, and Luigi didn’t mock Mario when informed that his brother was wearing the gown for fun.

The second major instance is from the New Super Mario Bros. U Deluxe website. The website tells us that only Toadette can use the Super crown. The last part of the Super Crown’s description says “Sorry Luigi- Only Toadette can use this item!”

While this could point to Luigi being trans fem instead of trans masc, I would like to point out that recently, it has become more accepted that men can dress feminine. Since this game was released in 2019, it’s completely possible that Luigi has caught onto this, and is becoming more accepted and accepting of his femininity as a man. This would also be plenty of time to unlearn harmful stereotypes from when he was younger, about what men can and can’t do. Although he still sticks with old habits, he’s learning more about how the world around him works, and how it’s changing day by day.

I believe that Luigi has a better understanding of gender and gender expression because he is trans. He’s learning to accept that he doesn’t have to be hyper masculine to be a valid guy.

4) How he got his mustache and flat chest (and… other stuff).

This section will be discussing the effects of hormones, surgeries, and genitalia. Please keep this in mind as you read.

This is more of an explanation for how certain things happened.

How did he grow a mustache? Testosterone. It was likely after helping his brother with his career, and winning sporting events he had a good amount of income to start Testosterone. Another option? Minoxidil. Minoxidil was tested to see if it could cure ulcers in the 50s. Through testing, The Upjohn Company discovered it opened blood vessels and allowed for blood to flow more smoothly. In the late 70s, it was FDA approved for patients to use if they suffer from high blood pressure. Through this, they discovered that minoxidil also has the side effect of hair growth. The FDA approved the product to be sold, and it was called Rogaine. Meaning Luigi would have had access to something to grow facial hair, even if testosterone wasn’t an option.

What about his flat chest?

Binding or Top surgery. Both were an option by the time Luigi was old enough. Laurence Michael Dillon was a trans person who was born in 1915 and died in 1962. While I do recommend you look at more of his story, what I want to focus on is the fact he had top surgery. While the surgery was still fairly early in it’s development, it was possible. Luigi, who wasn’t born until 1959 (as previously discussed) would have the option to get top surgery when he became an adult.

Another option would be binding, though I think this is less likely because of how binding restricts physical activity. Binding in any way makes it difficult to run or exert yourself in general. We see Luigi run a LOT in various games, and for decent amounts of time too. It’s less likely that he’s binding.

The last thing is his penis.

There was a huge joke going around about the bulge we saw in a promotion for Mario Tennis Aces. People were discussing how large it was, and Even Mattpat on Game Theory discussed the measurements to determine how large it was.

Why was it so noticeable? Well bottom surgery was also an option for him pretty early on. Surgeons (from what I’ve been told be social media) will ask how you’d like to look like. Even if he decided to not get bottom surgery, he could be wearing a packer.

A packer is anything you use to give the feeling and or appearance of a penis, specifically used by trans masc people who were not born with a penis. There are many different types of packers (including clean rolled up socks) that people may use. What’s most important to note though, is they have a high chance of moving around.

Even with harnesses or underwear specifically designed to keep a packer in place, they can still shift around in your pants, especially when you’re doing a lot of moving. From my experience, my packers tent to move forward rather than back. Wearing athletic shorts will also make that area more pronounced as the fabric is looser, so if Luigi was wearing a packer, we’d know.

5) He’s trans cause I say so.

Like I said in the beginning, it’s a head canon. I say he’s trans because it’s a cool idea. A Nintendo character that is trans, and isn’t being hidden, explained away, or made fun of (like Vivian from Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door). I like the idea that Luigi is a proud trans guy, and we don’t know because it doesn’t matter. He’s a guy because he’s a guy. He doesn’t just ‘become’ a guy because he goes through surgeries or goes in hormones. He’s trans, and t doesn’t matter if we know or not, because his trans identity isn’t important to the story we’re playing, or our knowledge to know. We aren’t entitled to it.

He’s a guy who happens to be trans, and that’s that.

If there is any misinformation above, please let me know so I can correct it. This was meant to be a fun post about my head canon, but I did use real world examples t explain it, and if I got something wrong, I’d like to know. Thanks!

[lilyhoshikawa]

🎥💕💎

Nyanko didn’t specify so I’m gonna do this abt WKTD and u can’t stop me!!

🎥: Do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?

I’m a basic Jupiter kinnie sadly so as expected. My favorite scene has gotta be the Red Ending 3am scene. There’s such a beautiful, horrible tension in the early moments- the anxiety and uncertainty over knowing that the least obvious among the trio is going to become the devil, the sad bargaining in lines like

“We don’t need to know who the devil is. It’s just a phase. …right?”

Which transitions into this pleading, and then

Venus: “I can feel fingers on my face and arm and everywhere.”

Jupiter: “Ahaha. Gross. I’m gross.”

And then the most iconic scene in this entire game, the most powerful and tiny act of the hair tie breaking, a piece of symbolism so small yet so monumentally significant. And then everything that follows, the entire speech.

“Don’t touch me. You shouldn’t touch me. I wasn’t born good.”

Talk abt lines that live in my mind rent free dhdjbdjd. Everyone talks about “I wasn’t born good” bc it’s a killer line and very relatable, but shoutout to some other stars:

“I can try hard, but I think… God knows my heart isn’t really in it.”

“Y’all are sweet. But don’t do that. I won’t be happy if you do.”

“I want to touch. I want to be touched. I want to hurt. I want to be hurt. And if you feel the same way, you’re as bad as me.”

“Won’t you let me feel like a real devil for a moment?”

And that’s all just. Amazing. There’s so much to say abt that from the perspective of religious guilt alone, of ppl who have experienced that unique kind of internal struggle with Christianity, let alone the compounded complications of being gay, trans, neurodivergent. It’s a really impactful scene especially for the game’s themes, bringing them all together in the perspective of your typical idealistic leader character, of the one who wants to be good the most (that’s also why it’s imperative you play this ending last).

💕: Tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

I have committed the grave act of hubris in answering that first category in-depth before realizing I already elaborated on my answer for this one. Oops! Oh well.

Obviously it doesn’t take much to figure out my fave of the trio but every character is really important and I don’t wanna get caught up in rambling about Jupiter knowing she seems to be most ppl’s favorite.

All of the trio have different reactions to trauma, in particular the trauma of their world in which Christian morality is the actual law of the land. Many ppl can relate to Jupiter’s need to go along with it and to “fix herself” but I find the other two equally compelling.

Neptune isn’t happy with the way things are, she’s furious, bitter and burned. It’s criminal that the writers don’t elaborate on it more, but she’s existed for this long in a system that has already judged her bad, has already decided her very existence is wrong, and to her, it’s horrific and baffling how many people are okay to sit back and accept the same. The pain she feels watching the other members of her group suffer, trying so hard to appease a system that has already discarded them. Neptune isn’t interested in offering platitudes to a system that has already tossed her to the side, deemed her bad and irredeemable. Frankly, she doesn’t even care. What hurts her, what bothers her, is seeing other people grapple with the guilt that isn’t theirs to own, to try and fix in themselves what was never a problem to begin with. It’s like seeing a friend suffer a tragedy and blame themselves every time.

And Venus, perhaps most interesting of all, also knows that. She’s aware that the system is stacked against her and everyone else, and she’s bitter about it, but she knows nothing else. She goes along with it, and all the bullying and pain and hardship that comes with it. She isn’t deluded into trying to overturn her odds and prove herself to be good like Jupiter is, she’s apathetic, she’s accepted the hand she’s been dealt. She doesn’t fight back against her bullies because she has simply accepted their abuse as a natural part of her existence. She wants more, wants better, and has glimpses of hope that it’s obtainable- perhaps if she does what she’s told, if she doesn’t complain, if she puts up with it, one day she’ll get what she wants, what she needs to survive. But she won’t, she never will. She accepts all the hardship, all the abuse, all the confusion or a world built for and around people who aren’t like her, who can’t understand her- and she does it silently hoping things may get better on their own.

All three worst girls mean so much, have such meaningful and interesting perspectives and tell such compelling stories on personal levels which are only made more powerful by their union, by their coexistence and the vague, awkward but hopeful clashing of their disparate realities, coping mechanisms and outlooks. It’s shaky, it’s difficult, but they provide for each other what they each lack- Jupiter receive permission to be enough as she is, Neptune receives validation and companionship, and Venus receives the accommodations she needs to be her authentic self, no longer hidden. It’s really powerful, for trauma survivors and the mentally ill and for LGBT+ ppl.

💎 Are there any fun facts or trivia you would like to share?

Something most ppl may know but that I almost missed is that the original demo for the game- titled “We Know the Demo”- is actually not just a shortened version of the game or anything, but a unique prequel story that fills in some more gaps in characterization and worldbuilding, which I found very valuable for my fic “The Light God Didn’t Make.”

It includes such scenes as Neptune being secretly unstoppable at dodgeball, Venus infodumping, Neptune pointing out the fact we all know that Jupiter would look cool holding a guitar, and also Venus singing. All of them iconic bits.

The demo is free off the developers’ website and functions basically the same as the game, with picking a duo of characters to interact in each scene, so it’s a great complimentary piece to play before or after, and it’s really helpful in developing a better characterization of the trio if ur looking for that.

[blueeyedgeorgie]

Controlling My Friend’s Phone-A.E

“ can u write either Alex or Will's gf going on Callux's channel to take part with the "controlling my best friend's phone for an hour" series, and he totally messes with her, but at the end it turns out he finds cute messages between them or smthing?“

Pairing: ImAllexx x Reader

Word Count: 1.7K+

______________

"Y/n, Welcome to the channel," Callum had smiled into the camera. "What's up?" Y/n grinned, giving a wave to the camera. "Not much, besides the fact I'll be controlling your phone for the next hour," Callum looked over to his friend, outreaching a hand, motioning for her to hand over her belonging. "I'm scared," Y/n shook her head, hesitantly pulling out her phone. "Oh, you should be," He smirked, snatching the phone from her. "Alright, time to unlock your phone." "Oh god..." Y/n trailed off, beginning to press in her password. The screen unlocked, revealing all of Y/n's apps. "Twitter time first!" Callum pressed open the blue bird app. "Don't post anything that could put me in a scandal, please," Y/n began to bite at her nails. "Like?" "Nothing, homophobic, trans-phobic, racist, or offensive," Y/n shook her head. "Wow, the bar is so low," Callum let out a laugh. He began to type up a tweet. "Boys, come slide in my DMS. I'm bored." "No! Are you fucking kidding me?" Y/n practically howled, "I'm dating someone!" "Oh, so I shouldn't put the kissy-face?" Callum laughed, being to open the emoji keyboard. "Why did I agree to this?" Y/n shook her head. "I'm putting a kissy face," Callum had pressed the 'post' button, sending the tweet out into the world. "Goddamnit, Callum," Y/n shook her head. "Alright, Instagram time," Callum smirked. "I promise I won't leak your nudes." "Wow," Y/n shook her head, looking at the camera. "Guys, I promise I don't have nudes, I'm not a whore." "Let's put something on your story," Callum smirked, swiping to the left to open the camera. "I'm thinking along the lines of... 'Guess what's coming in nine months?' With maybe a few baby emojis." "Oh god," Y/n shook her head. "I am gonna get into some type of scandal, aren't I?" "Probably," Callum laughed with a nod as he hit the 'post' button again. "What else should we do?" "Up to you, I guess," Y/n bit her lip, watching Callum scroll through her apps. "I'm positive you have George Memeulous's phone number," Callum grinned. "What are you planning?" Y/n raised a brow. "Let's start thirst texting him, why don't we?"  Callum had opened up Y/n's text messages. "Oh, no!" Y/n practically shouted. She got up, walking out of the camera frame. "You're really trying to get me canceled, aren't you?" "Alright, I'm gonna text him," Callum laughed, opening her texts between her and George. "Holy shit, your guys' conversations have been so dry." Callum scrolled through their texts, "Seriously? 'Hey, do you want some food, I'm gonna order some dinner.' You guys are so boring." "You're really going to ruin my friendships, aren't you?" Y/n shook her head as she walked back into the camera frame. "Anyways, time to text him. 'Hey Papi, whatcha up to?' Omgod, this is gonna be fun," Callum let out another laugh. "He's gonna know something's up," Y/n shook her head. "While we wait for him to reply, let's text up the other boys," Callum had pulled up Y/n's texts with Will next. "Lemme think... 'You're so fuckin hot, ditch Mia for me, baby.' I love this so much," Callum smiled, beginning to text Will. "Oh, no! Mia and I are so close! I'm not gonna have any friends after this," Y/n brushed a hand through her hair as she let out a long sigh. "James's turn next!" Callum smirked, "I'm gonna say... 'Can you do me a favor and lemme peg you?' You're gonna have to apologize to everyone after this, Y/n," Callum shook his head. "This hurts me. You've hurt me. How could you do this to me?" Y/n cringed. "You had a week to tell your friends something weird was gonna happen on your texts and social medias," Callum looked over to Y/n. "I'm gonna need bleach after this," Y/n sighed. Y/n's phone buzzed. "Oh, George texted us back!" Callum grinned, reopening Y/n's texts with George. " 'Y/n, are you alright?' Oh, he already knows something's up," Callum shook his head. "I told you he was gonna know something was going on," Y/n bit her lip. "I can fix this. 'I'm okay, but I'd be better if we were together at the moment." Callum smiled, continuing to text the commentary YouTuber. "Let's see, James left you on read!" "I'm not surprised. I'm friends with his girlfriend, I feel horrible," Y/n hid her face in her hands. "We're not gonna poke the bear with James because you're already getting into enough trouble," Callum smiled. "Will still hasn't opened your text yet." "I'm scared," Y/n returned to biting at her nails. "You should be," Callum looked over to her again. "Let's open Twitter again." There had been plenty of DMs sent to Y/n on Twitter with a lot of confused replies to her tweet. "This is absolutely amazing," Callum scrolled through the replies. "I'm gonna tweet something new." "I'm gonna get so fucking canceled," Y/n sighed. "Alright, I'm gonna say... '5 likes and I'll burn ImAllexx's Internet Sensation merch," Callum was already typing. "No, not Alex! You've already done so much, why Alex?" Y/n was freaking out at this point. She was surprised Alex hadn't tried reaching out to her yet over what she was posting and texting to his friends. James should've told him what Y/n texted him by now. As expected, Y/n's phone began to buzz again. Only this time she was being called by her boyfriend, Alex Elmslie.  "No!" Y/n yelled, grabbing onto the roots of her hair, "he knows something's wrong!" "Y/n, I'm gonna pick up. You can't talk though," Callum smirked. "Are you crazy?!" "Hey, I'm controlling your phone for the next thirty minutes," Callum grinned, hitting the green pickup button. "Y/n, are you alright? I'm so confused over your tweets, is this some kind of joke? James also told me you sent a sext to him? What the fuck? Do you have something to tell me? Do you wanna break up?" The more Alex spoke, the more Y/n's heart broke. Alex suffered from anxiety, so she could only imagine how he was feeling right now. Y/n bit her lip, making eye contact with Callum, he only put a finger to his lips, motioning for her to stay quiet. "Y/n, are you there-" Alex had been cut off by Callum hitting the 'end call' button. "That was so mean! He probably thinks I'm cheating on him or something!" Y/n brushed a hand through her hair. Within seconds, Y/n's phone buzzed again. This time she had received a text. It was from Alex. 'Y/n, please talk to me, I know you're there.' "I'm going to end up getting dumped by Alex by the time this is over," Y/n shook her head. "I'm texting back. 'What are you talking about? I am completely normal.' But in all caps," Callum laughed, already typing. "You're so mean!" Y/n's eyes widened. "As Alex texts back, let's look back through your texts with him," Callum smiled, beginning to scroll up. "Oh god, you two really are an adorable pair." Thank you, I guess? I mean, I don't know if we're gonna last after this video," Y/n gave a shrug as she watched Callum. "You two were literally planning a Star Wars movie marathon tonight, now I'm starting to feel shitty," Callum let out a sigh. "Honestly you two seem like such a power couple with these texts." "Thank you, can I have my phone now?" Y/n put out her hand, motioned she wanted her phone back. "I have 15 more minutes left. Now let's look at your photos!" Callum hadn't found anything special. Most photos where just screenshots of random stuff, but finally he found a photo album he really liked. "You have a photo album titled, 'Alex' with a  heart emoji?" Callum grinned, already opening the album. "Oh yeah," Y/n gave a nod, smiling at the tens of photos she had of Alex. There were a decent amount of photos Y/n had taken of Alex. Some of them were funny, most of them were pretty cute. There was a photo of Alex downtown. They had been walking downtown after seeing a movie. As they were waiting to cross the street, Y/n had stolen photo of Alex smiling at her, cars were driving past in the background as the sun was halfway down. There was another photo of Alex, Y/n's hand was placed underneath his chin, squeezing his cheeks together, causing his lips to squish together. Photo after photo, each one had a special memory, it didn't matter if the memory was big or small, they were all important to Y/n. Even though she and Alex had just started dating only a few months back, there were plenty of good memories they shared. Finally, Callum finished gushing over photos, talking about how he thought Y/n and Alex were 'couple goals'. "I guess I can give you your phone back now," Callum gave a shrug as he handed Y/n's phone back to her. "I've got to go and do damage control now," Y/n sighed, already opening Twitter to delete the tweets Callum posted. "Good luck with that," Callum smiled. Callum began the outro as Y/n was texted her friends her apologies. She felt bad that Cal had texted weird shit to her friend's. 'Hey, Alex. I'm sorry about everything. I was filming a video on Callux's channel where he stole my phone for the past hour, none of that was me, I promise. I love you too much to be like that.' Within seconds, Alex had begun to type back. 'It's alright, Y/n. I'm just happy none of that was you. I love you too. Are we still on for a movie marathon tonight?' Y/n smiled at the text she received. Thank god Alex wasn't gonna hold this against her. 'Of course, I'll call you when I get in my car.' 'Okay.' Y/n placed her phone in her back pocket as Callum finished up his outro for the video. "And if you're curious where you can find Y/n, I'll be leaving a link in the description to her YouTube channel," he smiled to the camera. Y/n gave a wave, a smile appeared on her face. "This video made me anxious for an hour," Y/n spoke up. "Anyways, I'll see you guys next time!" With that, the camera was turned off.

Taglist:

@daddydobrock​

@anyasthoughts​

@multifandom-but​

[normal-thoughts-official]

This might be a weird question to ask idk but I was wondering why u write ur trans magnus without any surgery/body alterations? I guess the reason I’m asking is cause I’m wondering how to portray trans people in my writing and most people I’ve read from prefer to have their trans characters post op. I’d love to hear ur thoughts.

not a weird question! happy to help and it's always good to get trans perspectives

well there are two main reasons why i write trans magnus without any surgery or body alterations, plus one irrelevant-to-anyone-but-me one, which is projection. i don't have any body alterations and i don't want most of them so i like to write trans characters who are like me

the reasons that actually matter to other people that aren't me are:

it makes more sense for the character imo. magnus was born in 16th century java, then raised by a demon. that means he spent his formative years immersed in cultures that had nothing to do with the modern western gender binary. like you think demons even have gender? please. and while the fact that his stepfather was dutch certainly meant magnus' home wasn't as open as it could have been, being raised in java, especially the ports of jakarta, meant that he had contact with thousands of other cultures which didn't have a gender binary or the same gender divisions. so why would he develop dysphoria (which is nothing more than the internalization of the western gender/sex binary making a person hate themself because their body isn't in accordance to it)? and like, sure, ever since he's lived immersed in modern western culture, but at that point he had already solidified his idea of gender, so it's harder for it to be internalized. plus, he had access to queer subcultures (which have always existed for as long as queerphobia has existed) AND considering he has magic and can use glamors and the like, he has ways of protecting himself from the transphobic/cissexist/binarist gaze without needing to actually alter his body. so i don't see a reason why he'd want or need surgeries

political reasons. like, listen, i'm not gonna judge other trans ppl for writing trans characters post-op, especially if they are projecting their own wants/needs/daily life on them. however, i think it's important to portray trans bodies that aren't modified to be as close to cissexist ideals as possible. and again! i'm not saying that surgeries are bad or wanting them is bad. the internalization of the gender binary and subsequent dysphoria isn't on any trans person, it's a result of the violence we face by cis ppl. but when we are talking about representation in fiction, we are talking about one of the things in our culture that shape the very way we define normal. which means that representing trans bodies that aren't modified matters, because it means telling people that there's more than one way to be of a certain gender or look like a certain gender. when authors, particularly cis authors, keep portraying trans characters exclusively like people who feel the need to look as cis as they can, they imply that that's what every trans person should strive for. which implies that trans bodies aren't okay left alone, and trans people shouldn't be comfortable with their own bodies. which is, you know, exactly the kind of thing that makes trans people hate themselves, experience dysphoria, and more. one more time just in case it wasn't clear! it's not bad for a real life trans person to want surgery when that is something that we are taught is necessary for us to be who we are, MUCH LESS when passing can sometimes be the difference between surviving (getting a job, making a living, avoiding street violence) and dying. and it's also not bad to portray these struggles. what IS bad, imo, is normalizing, in the sense of making it the norm, trans people who want to be opped and marginalizing trans people who don't or can't. because by doing that, we only feed the harmful, transphobic, cissexist ideas that lead to all this violence and internalized violence and suffering therefore, i make it a point to have trans characters with all kinds of personal relationships with their bodies, and i absolutely make it a point to have trans character who don't have and don't want surgeries or body modifications and that are happy and confident in their gender expression and loved and respected for it. because while representation in fiction alone won't change transphobia, perpetuating cissexism in it definitely gets in the way of changing it. and i definitely encourage other authors, particularly cis authors, to do the same and not write only trans characters that do their best to look cis

so yeah! if you're asking me, i say it would be a great idea to portray a non-op-ed trans character. some trans ppl might be uncomfortable reading it, especially in smut, which i fully understand and don't judge them for, but i still think that it's the kind of representation that, if normalized (in the sense of making it seem normal and not an exception), can really help trans people in the long run. and nothing says it has to be one OR the other, anyway. you can have more than one trans character and have them have different relationships with their bodies. it's what i do, altho i do tend to have non-op-ed trans characters more often than not, cuz well. we get plenty of the other way around. plus, it's more realistic most of the time, cuz surgeries are crazy expensive and inaccessible, so only a very small minority of trans ppl can actually get them anyway

i hope this made sense to you? i tend to go too deep into Gender Babble™ when asked about stuff like that so if you have any questions or trouble following what i say just ask me and i can try to make myself clearer daiojdsaoidjasoj. id like to hear ur thoughts on my answer regardless, so, yeah

✨truscums don't even fucking look at this post or my fucking blog. your ideology is colonialist, cissexist nonsense and directly harms other trans people, especially native ppls. go fuck yourself✨

[wcamino-confessions]

Okay wow I usually don’t say this kinda thing especially after I swore off ever touching amino but I feel like this needs to be said.

Have you guys tried to educate her? Yes. Did she refuse to listen? Yes. does she have every right to be criticized for her actions? Yes. We’re her actions bad and unruly? Yes. And does she deserve backlash for them? Yes.

You guys have every right to be mad at Tae for what she said and done, her callout post was immature, her statements were not researched and she refuses to be educated, she’s clearly confused and says blatantly wrong things. Her actions so far have been shown to be rude, sarcastic, or childish at best and again you have every right to be mad and vent about it.

To be clear I absolutely hate alm and blue lives matter, everyone and anyone who defends them are racist and people who refuse to be educated r especially racist and you have every right to call em out on it. But like... be a lil nicer to the minors???? You can still criticize they’re actions bc Tae’s actions are well bad and immature and you can still vent and rant about them on here if you want. That’s not harassment. I’ve been on here for awhile trust me it’s not harassment if you just vent about her actions or post screenshots about it. But I’ve seen people admit they’ve been borderline harassing her and like just, don’t do that? Again your welcome to be mad and your welcome to criticize or rant or vent about her. But don’t cross the line, she’s a minor and while that doesn’t excuse what she said or her actions , harassment has more of a negative impact on her then adults. You don’t have to sympathize with her because what she’s been saying is racist, you don’t have to like her, you don’t have to stop posting about her, you don’t have to stop being mad about it, but like, just be a tiny bit nicer to her? I get it I get it she’s being annoying and harmful and immature, but the situation would be a lot easier on to handle if you could calm down just a tiny bit. Besides you guys can pretty much ban her at this point, isn’t that the worse punishment you can give to her without harassing her? She deserves a ban and it won’t be crossing the line.

As for Tae, listen I know your a minor and you say stupid shit all the time. I used to be a transcum until I had a trans friend slap me over the head and tell me that’s a shitty take and to change it /hj. Which I did btw. I get it, but Tae you need to sit back and educate yourself. I know it’s hard to believe these people, probably because these thoughts are being aided by friends or family or just you don’t want to because of the amount of backlash your getting. So let me explain to you, as one minor to another, why ALM is bad and racist. ALM is a movement made to directly combat against Black Lives Matter, thus why its racist. And I know your about to think “oh but what if you separate the words from the movement” and to that I say, your still doing what the movement is trying to aim for, saying “all lives matter” even if your apart of the movement or not is still overshadowing and ignoring the fact that many POC lives are still in a state or position where many people don’t think they matter. Think of it like there’s a house on fire, saying “all lives matter” is the same as going up to the fire fighters and saying “oh all houses matter, why aren’t you taking care of the other houses” you might think your helping but in context your just making everything worse. No matter how you say that phrase now, whether it’s in connection to the movement or not, your still harming the cause of BLM. And yes, it is a big deal people are dying, I know you think “it’s a part of life” but people are losing they’re fathers, mothers, and children, all because some cop didn’t like someone’s skin color and decided that they should die for it. It’s never a okay thing to do, to take someone’s life over their skin color, something they were born with, something they can’t really control. That’s like ((as an example)) someone killing your mom because she has red hair or something. You just lost your mom because she had red hair. These deaths aren’t just “deaths” they’re impacting other people’s lives, these people who died were important to others. And they didn’t deserve having they’re lives taken away. And as for “they didn’t have it as bad in the 60’s” of course they didn’t, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have it bad here aswell, that’s like saying “oh atleast I didn’t blow up the building” after tearing down a wall, it doesn’t change the fact that you still tore down that wall. Sure it could have been worse but literally everything can be worse. It doesn’t change the face things are bad now, and need to be fixed. From the context on how you speak about the movements and how you use “they” when referring to POC im going to assume your white or atleast not POC ((correct me if I’m wrong)) which means you don’t fully understand why this is so important because you maybe ((again correct me if I’m wrong)) have never experienced what it’s like to be a POC, if that is the case then you need to step down from your high horse and realize that you can’t say something is “not as bad as _____” if you’ve never even experienced first hand. Comparing pain and suffering is only going to lead to more problems. Tae they’re is always room to change, your not a lost cause. But you need to educate yourself and realize what your saying is bad if you do want to change and be a better person. You can’t excuse your actions, you can’t undermine them, you have to own up to them in full volume and realize what you said was harmful.

I already expect backlash for this post, which is fair, again I’ve been on wac for awhile, I don’t think any of these posts here are harassing Tae ((although it would be epic if you guys can refrain from using the c word, just a personal request u don’t have to follow through )) these posts hold valid critique that I think Tae needs to listen to, even if some of them are a bit harsh. And I know the mods wouldn’t allow harassing messages to get onto this blog. But if your in like the comments or something saying “I’d rather harass her then not” like... calm down my guy, you have a right to be mad but you can also just ban her ass and get the same effect and message with it being deserved lmao.

[alexiaugustin]

waittttt. whats with Maxence that you didn't like??? 😯😯

but what things did maxence have done ???. since nobody calls him out on things you mentions, i actually don't know that problematic stuff he says or done.. and also, i see only good things are about him on ig and twitter so i really dont know 😅... sorry of this question 🙏

Okay so before anyone tells me that I said that I hate Maxence or some shit- I couldn't care less about what actors do in their private lives and I don't think that everything he ever said or did publicly was a bad thing but there were a lot of rly problematic things he said and did publicly and that's all I'm talking about here.

First of all at one of those dreamit cons he said that he would like to play a trans women in a movie/tv show once and that he even auditioned but didn't get the role because his face was too masculine. When fans later called him out for that more or less transphobic statement he never showed any kind of reaction and never apologized even tho especially trans fans were rly upset and tried to educate him on that matter.

Then there is this interview where he says "I already got messages saying 'you're not gay you can't play this role' I find it too bad that someone thinks a gay character has to be played by a gay person. Actually I think it goes against the message the LGBT community wants to give. It's very sane and important to give that freedom of speech around this, that straight people can defend this battle too and can take roles for homosexual, trans, bi characters" I get what he was trying to say here but he definitely did it the wrong way because being upset about lgbt ppl being upset about there not being more lgbt actors playing lgbt roles and even telling them that they are going against the message of the community that they are a part of and he is not really just ain't it. And again he's saying that cishets can play trans characters which is....ignorant.

Then there was this whole red bubble thing where he was freaking out about the tshirts with fanart of him on them. And like, I get it, I really do and it's completely okay to be angry about shit like that but "a part of me just wants to murder that motherfucker" and "those tshirts are ugly as fuck" ??? he's 26 im sorry but this is just not how you talk to your (mostly) younger audience on social media and it was super aggressive and not funny nor "badass" at all

The most recent and probably worst thing was his reaction to the blm movement. Both he and axel stayed silent about it for days and when fans were asking him to post donation and petition links he was angry about that for some reason?? And a few days later he posted that story

translation: "I hope that every person that has been annoying the shit out of me for a week, telling me what to do on social media will be there at 19h*. It's cute to hashtag, to copy-paste and to impose oneself as the dictator of ethic and good conscious, it's another thing to act. See you tonight"

*a blm protest he attended

Again he was super condescending and worded all of this super agressive. He is a white privileged grown up man who chose to stay silent for days and after all his silence and the reactions he got from that he spent more of his time on his insta story where he was shaming people who couldn't go to protest instead of reposting more links to donations, petitions and information. Can you believe that he really went out and said "I know I haven't done shit to raise awareness so far and for some reason all of u are so mean to me now. But I hope that y'all know that no matter if you don't have the possibility to attend a protest, aren't allowed to attend a protest or can't because of ur health condition (we're still in a global pandemic) U are the bad person and all the efforts you've made on the internet are worth noting" that's literally what he just said. People are suffering and dying just because of their skin colour and he has the nerve to play the victim in all of this. It was arrogant, condescending and his white privilege couldn't have jumped out more. He never apologized or acknowledged that either.

And here's another anon I got about this

here's the video. And yeah exactly anon like I know that it was just a game and there to be fun but Robin tried to seriously educate him right in that moment and he just... didn't care at all.

And that's what actually makes him so problematic. Because he never learns from his mistakes and can't ever acknowledges that he might have made a mistake but tries to defend himself until the very end, makes things about himself when they absolutely aren't and can't just ever shut up when ppl are taking their time to educate him. He not even once apologized for one of the things he did and that already says a lot I guess🙄

[geffenrecords]

killjoys 🔪🔪🔪🔪 now

GSHFNEOFNSLDMDSKDM PELASE

okay oh my god the killjoys i ffucking love them? theyre my ocs now actually gerard way gave them to me bc i asked nicely and also gave them a kiss bc im so nice. /j

but gawd where to start i.....basically made up an entire universe for them in my head bc i cant be assed to read the comics n the canon is soooo inconsistent i can do whatever i want. who's gonna stop me. huh. the publishing company hunts me down and says No. try me.

ummm anyway first and foremost they cannot die......like legit. sing dont exist wdym. it's some real the old guard shit actually 🤨🍷 idk if anyone here has watched tht but Basically the ppl can die but their wounds heal up instantly and they can just keep going [that movie was so sexy i reccomend it] n that's pretty much how i think the killjoys operate? it's a little sadistic tho bc theres really nothing like teens telling you all the graphic ways theyve been maimed and killed only to still b kickin.....no ones sure if the girl shares the same curse/power, and theyre too scared to truly test it.

but yeah they fuck around w it a lot ghoul keeps track of how many times they all die and jets like thats not funny and ghouls like im sorry i cant hear you over my winning streak. he gets to 69 and they have never seen him so happy hes sofucking annoying......but kobra also kinda doesnt take it seriously he purposefully kinda throws ghoul around like a ragdoll just bc he knows he can. to quote myself from one of kyrs and i's various conversations, "youre laughing. ghoul just died and youre laughing, kobra." u know how in the dream theives ronan throws noah off the fucking roof. yeah thats their dynamic.

can the killjoys actually die like in the old guard where they randomly stop healing? who knows? maybe theyll be like this forever, or maybe theyll slow down one day. who's to say they even age. not them.

anyway um on a less edgy note.........as for their backstories.....kobra n party grew up in the city definitely 🤨 no ones sure who stopped taking the pills first the memories are so fuzzy......what they both DO remember is doing hurried things at night like chopping all kobras hair and running as fast as they could into the desert and hiding out till they were found by dr d. i love their dynamic like yeas. party is an annoying whiny bitch who cries and is heartbroken easily and kobra is the human embodiment of B| but they love each other very much.......party holds kobra close when he cries and vise versa and kobra will never forget the things party did to make him feel so safe bc listen. that is their babie brother. they would die for him. kobra is so fragile at first like he'd never admit it but oh.....the way his voice shook when he told party hes a boy n im not going to touch on that for tht long bc that's embarrassing hiiii but kobra is So trans. look at him and tell me that is Not a transmasc as fuck guy. it goes over well tho bc party lives breathes and dies for kobra and their gender is also yes heheheh....... anyway theyre both found by jet and pony one day and dr d kinda takes em in.......theyre v v wary at first n party kind of glares at everyone the whole time and if they get too close to kobra they will Be Violent and kobra just sits very still the whole time but eventually they warm up and become all alive blah bla bla <3

and JET......MY BELOVED............god i love jet <3 which is why i apologize for making them suffer GBDJFNGKDMDKDF. uhm......jet is desert born n shit and they had a fairly large family......quite a few siblings and loving parents that are......no more.....they dont like to talk about it but kobras gotten them to open up a few times and. it's not pretty. jet lived w dr d for a bit.......show pony is like their sibling at this point they have so many inside jokes and jet taught them spanish so theyll whisper and giggle to each other and it's so annoying......they call dr d dad too so true he cries they love each other :-( but yeah jet is so wild like listen. jet is a chaotic mom friend. yall alwaysmake it weird istg but like. jet is very caring and kind bc they had so many siblings so they kind of revert back to that a lil w the others n the girl but also theyre just like. slightly unhinged. they were raided with show fucking pony what did you expect.......jet just disappears n theyre all like !??!?!?!?!!? n then a few minutes later jet calls them like guys. did you know that i can outrun that jackal pack by tommys. theyre so much slower than ithought. and theyre like okay......um........and then they come home with random shit like why do you have the steering wheel of a 1978 car. where did you get that. why. i love them :-) they care for others and spend a lot of time bandaging others up and stuff but also they r kind of......wild.....they have lots of weird stuff abt them and a lot of scars. probably the most out of the four? idk how that all works but i say it can shut up it's my fictional universe and i get to say what happens. also they do the girls hair :-) me n kyrs r big biggg fans of this.......they have similar hair texture and they call the girl all these cute little nicknames in spanish and carry her around all they all like the girl is just Carried around all the time......she is small and holdable what can i sya.......

oh and ghoulll yeassss this bitch........ghoul is also desertborn but hes been on his own for a while.......kobra n party were found pretty early on by show pony n co. but ghoul wasnt found until they were abttttt.........15 or so? and God they were absolutely feral still is but he Bit. so much. he hissed and everything. he just sat in the corner glaring at everyone it took quite a bit of time to actually get him to open up......and he was so paranoid theyd throw him out if he fucked up.....he knocks something off dr d's desk and they find him hiding and crying somewhere and they all hug him and tell him its okay and hes like What.......its more of a subconscious fear now he trusts the others w his life n stuff but like...deep down yknow....anyway he still bites it's mostly to piss off kobra their relationship is.....fun. ghoul brings home wild animals and growls if he wants and kobra is like Die. kobra lives to piss off ghoul oh my god every chance he gets he takes a jab at him pls....ghouls like look at this tiny little bitch i found while holding up a mouse and kobra is like thats what we said when we found you and ghouls like BITCH. DIE. HATE YOU. but they are best friends <3

n um.....last one the GIRLLLLL HELLOOOOOOO.....shes what really solidifies the team tbh like they were starting to really bond and work together she really clicked them all in place they lover her so much oh my god......they all try to give her the childhood they could never have and it's their worst fear soemthing will happen to her or them and they wont be around for her anymore esp party they lie awake thinking about what would happen......and ghoul always tells him theyre all doing the best they can for her and shes clearly happy but still they're so scared.......dr d tells them theyre proud of how theyve raised her and they cry omg......and ALSO. another epic kyrslee hc is that the girl is actually closest w kobra. he takes her out on the motorcycle all the time [he makes her wear the helmet dw] nd shes the only one allowed to call him silly nicknames like kitty or whatever......ghoul tries it and kobra maims him <3 kobra is like here ill kiss ur scrape better and ghouls like wheres my kiss tf.....and kobra covers the girls ears and is like whores dont get kisses. and ghoul is so mad......partys like ill kiss u :] and ghouls like No. Ur Goddam Brother Better Give Me My Fucing Smooch. but yea the girl is their babie they LOVE HER........jet teaches her [and ghoul] to read and it's very sweet and party let's her paint and draw on the walls and compliments her and sticks her drawings up everywhere......they renovated the pantry to be her little room but soemtimes she sleeps in one of their rooms yknow she loves them.....n they lvoe her i cry........

um.......i might stop here this is so long and if i start on the romance n shit this will get unbearable but yes 💖

[theworldsoul]

Uhh warning VENT!!! Talks about self harm and shit... also religious bullshit and gender bullshit??? Like I'm really trans and also Catholicism really fucked me up so if ur uncomfy with that just... skip this post. Also if ur Christian and can't handle seeing ur shit defaced then skip this post. Also if ur gonna clown on this post as "cringe atheism" then fuck you because I'm literally coping with pain lol

:readmore:

Anways now that the disclaimer is over... here comes the real shit.

I... have been going through a LOT lately, jesus christ. I was HAPPY today, yknow? I thought I was gonna be happy the whole day.

I was dancing today. That's how happy I was. For the first time in like... a whole year... I was really so happy. I thought I was gonna cry. But then I got home. And well,,,, I did cry. But not from happiness. I just got my math grade back. A fucking 49 percent. MY AVERAGE RIGHT NOW IS A 57 PERCENT. I MIGHT FAIL MATH 20. I MIGHT HAVE TO RETAKE IT. oh my god I'm such a failure I cant do anything ever i try SO fucking hard but honestly??? I cant fucking do this. I can't, I'm not mentally capable. "Just work harder"... BITCH I AM WORKING AS HARD AS I CAN. I AM SPENDING HOURS AND HOURS OF MY LIFE STUDYING AND PRACTICING. I'm starting to think that how hard i try doesn't even fucking matter because I'm STUPID and all i know how to do is PAINT SHIT!!!! NOBODY CARES ABOUT ART!!!! IF I FAIL THIS CLASS I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO HAVE A HOUSE IN THE FUTURE!!!! A HOUSE!!!!!

I dont even want to be a fucking orthodontist. Okay??? I wanna do what I love: painting. But NOOOO. I have to get a "respectable" job that will "pay me enough money to live". WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO MAKE MONEY TO LIVE??? WTF??? THATS LITERALLY SO FUCKED UP. everyone deserves to live (unless they like murdered someone? I guess? Idk) BUT LIKE I DIDNT KILL NO ONE SO WHATS ALL THIS BS ABOUT WORKING TO LIVE???? WTF??? I rly gotta do all this shit I hate, all this shit I'm mentally incapable of doing... so i can have a house. Fuck this. Yknow with my average at a 57... I might fail this class even if I get a really good grade on my next quiz. Can you fucking believe it??? I'm literally so fucking stupid I cant even pass a dumb fucking math class god i hate myself. I cant fail this class. I've NEVER failed a class. Almost failed... but never HAD TO RETAKE A CLASS. that's the ultimate failure. I think my parents would hate me if I failed this.

And on top of that... I'm really struggling with uhhh, dysphoria and body image... and it's so fucking horrible man I want to rip all my skin off I want to suffocate god I want to KILL him I want to MAKE HIM SUFFER. I want to gouge his eyes out and force him to eat them. WHY WOULD HE MAKE ME LIKE THIS????? WHY????? WHATS THE POINT IN MAKING A CHILD SUFFER SO MUCH???

What did I ever do that was so wrong I deserved all this punishment???

Well FUCK YOU and fuck your stupid book and FUCK THESE STUPID FUCKING SAINTS. WASNT THERE SUPPOSED TO BE A WHOLEASS ANGEL WATCHING OVER ME?? PROTECTING ME??? WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT BITCH NOW?? WHERE WAS THAT BITCH WHEN... when I was being bullied? When I literally wanted to kill myself?

Where was that guardian angel when I kept making THE SAME MISTAKE over and over again and I KNEW it was wrong but I kept doing it anyways because it was the only way I could feel like soemone cared about me????

I bet that angel motherufcker KNEW they didnt care. DID THE ANGEL EVER ONCE HELP ME??? NOOOO. all those times I was bruised and broken... all those times...

Man, I was just a kid. I was SO fucking young. And I would come like a lamb to the slaughter and kneel. I would pray... ask for guidance. I would pray the rosary too, I would read the bible and try my very best to understand it, I would go to church and volunteer at church and do my best to be a Good Boy and never sin. I did EVERYTHING right. I literally fasted at some point, like a religious fast. I was devoted...

Honestly though? I think it was the same mistake I make over and over again, except not with a real person.

And you have me NOTHING. GO GIRL, GIVE US NOTHING!!!!!!! I literally used to self-punish for the sins I couldnt bring myself to confess. At my communion, there was one sin I didn't tell because I knew it was unforgivable. I still hate myself for that. But man, I used to try and do all sorts of things to somehow cleanse myself of it. I figured THAT whole ordeal was why I was constantly being tortured.

But I was stupid and I am stupid and that makes NO SENSE because if the thing I'm being punished for happened when I was a child, WHY DID THE PUNISHMENT BEGIN AT MY BIRTH????

They used to tell me that god handcrafted every part of me specifically for some sort of grand reason.

Why.

Really? This bitch really "handcrafted" me just so I could cry and cut myself nearly every night??? Fuck that. Like why would you make me this way. It hurts more than you can IMAGINE. The only reason I'm not dead yet is because of ME, MY strength, not any of the bullshit YOU gave me. I hate when people say "oh, god made u so hardworking" or "oh, god made you so passionate/hopeful/full of love/fiery/whatever" LIKE STFU BITCH THAT WAS NOT SKYDADDY THAT WAS ME!!!

you wanna know what he made me?

dysphoric, ugly af, yeah.... but the worst part?

He made me feel.

That doesn't sound bad, right? Well it's the worst thing on the list. It is my downfall, my Achilles heel or whatever. This emotions shit??? It RUINED my life. My whole life I was cursed with a fucking monster inside me. I kept trying to tell everyone that it wasnt me!!! I kept telling them that it felt like I was being possessed. But adults are SHIT. I hate adults. I want to kill them all. They failed me and their god failed me. None of them every listened to me. All they knew how to do was punish, punish, punish.

It's like giving an allergic kid some peanuts and then getting angry at them for going into anaphylactic shock or whatever. Nobody ever thought "hey, why don't we stop giving the kid peanuts?"

ALL THE ADULTS AROUND ME ACT LIKE CHILDREN AND THEY ALWAYS HAVE ACTED LIKE CHILDREN FUCK ADULTS

Anwyays that's how I ended up with all these unresolved issues,.... emotion is a tough one, like I literally dont have the ability to control my emotions at all, I can try and like, repress them but I cant make myself actually feel less.

My emotion hurts more than anyone else's and nobody ever understood that. I would tell them that it hurts, it PHYSICALLY HURTS, and they would say I just wanted attention. I would tell them I literally couldnt control what my body said and did, I would tell them I felt like A PUPPET ON STRINGS and no one believed me. Fuck them.

Healthy coping mechanisms? I literally self ship with Snape to cope. I literally self ship with characters my brain made up and put in my dreams to cope. I used to hurt myself so much trying to feel loved and cared about irl. Fiction is so much better. I sound like a loser but its TRUE. The sort of thing I need, the sort of love I need is like... a parent. You can't go looking for a parent in a romantic partner, it fucks everything up and you end up... well, let's just say it proabbly wasnt the most legal thing, but I wasnt thinking strisght at all I mean dude I was So fucked in my head when I did all that...whatever...anyways so thank u for fiction!!! I love fiction. Want to kill someone? Draw it. Then you'll feel much better!!! And you dont go to jail!!!

Well the pics here... idk, it was really calming to do this. It's new, painting over religious shit. I was gonna do the whole bible but I already burnt that shit so.... and I was going to cut but I'm trying really hard to stay clean... like really hard. It's so weird and like, addicting, once I hit styro I don't want to stop, but also it kinda transfers the emotional pain to physical pain, making it way easier to deal with. I just can't keep doing that because I KNOW it's bad and look I thoguht I was clean for a whole year but then I fucked up and WOW, GUESS WHAT MADE ME RELAPSE??? MATH CLASS!!!!

Whatever anyways here are my wonderful works of art I made while crying and cursing god (like I'm so pissed at all this catholic bs I believed in him again just to swear at him lol)

.... but imagine for a moment, a better world. One in whcih these saints whose images I've defaced are actually good people... a world in which they SEE ME AND THEY HEAR ME... and I go unpunished.... and I am embraced by someone who UNDERSTANDS.

I think I would cry.

Too bad that world doesnt exist and I just made it up to try and feel a bit better. Whatever, whatever. I painted the things, they're gonna dry. I work hard, I'm gonna do good on my quiz, I hope. I just have to be making it through, that's all it is, work work work without a break but I can proabbly do it. I'm really slipping I admit like the mental health is slipping it's getting worse like I havent had a "fuck I am afab" moment in such a long time so yeah...

Anwyays I feel so much better now that I did my little art project yknow???

[egle0702]

[TRANS] GQ June ‘20 - Wooyoung Interview

2PM Jang Wooyoung: “I lived hard like crazy”

2020.05.21 INTERVIEW

Wooyoung has blazed through life, but he also knows how to be quiet. That’s why he’s smart and strong. Like steel that has been repeatedly heated and cooled down.

You’re attentively monitoring during the shooting, has anything changed since you’ve been discharged from the military? My face hasn’t changed or anything like that. Rather than that, I’m just amazed. I had no idea I would be shooting a pictorial so soon after the discharge.

I suppose there must’ve been so many things you wanted to do. Every time I had some time off in the army, my head felt overwhelming. What should I do next? How should I live? All sorts of thoughts flooded in. In order to not have that time wasted, I transferred those thoughts and worries into written words. At first, there was a lot of embarrassing content, even for me. But it got better after a while. Aside from my future plans, I also looked back on my interpersonal relationships and my way of life. I thought whether I have lived well, whether I haven’t made mistakes when dealing with others.

I can feel your determination. In the army, there are a lot of kids who are younger than me. If I ask them about their worries, they would usually say: “You’ve already achieved everything, you don’t know how we feel.” We might come from a different starting point, but the fear of a beginning is the same. I’m more afraid compared to when I was 17 or 20 and just honestly ran towards my dreams.

You’re 32 now. In your opinion, what privilege does this age give you? Disregarding how you’ve spent your 10s and 20s, I think it gives you the chance to be kinder. You could say that you become mature. You become a better and stronger person when you look back at your past mistakes and experiences. If you add a drop of that 20s spirit into the mix, it’d be even better.

What was Jang Wooyoung like in his 20s? I was busy filling myself up, and then pouring everything out the moment I was full.

You’ve lived hard; after all, your work requires you to keep on showing something to the public. Generally speaking, I could divide my 20s into “before” and “after” by placing the mark on when I was 25. Right after the debut, I really lived and worked hard. Back then, there was a saying “killer schedule,” and the saying wasn’t a lie. I worked hard and was extremely busy, but I’m thankful for it. When else you’d be able to live like that. Compared to my efforts, the popularity achieved was great, I also made money. But once I turned 25; shall I call it adolescence? It was a mess. I wasn’t present in my life. I considered dropping everything and going back to my hometown in Busan.

But that didn’t happen. There’s only one thing that proves my existence; and that was the reason I pulled myself together. “I’m a member of 2PM, I cannot betray 2PM.” From that moment on, the meaning of “let’s live hard” changed. Making sure that I wouldn’t cause harm to others, I had fun, met a lot of people, and decided to learn a lot of things including drawing. Through feeling and experiencing as much as possible, I wanted to awaken the senses within me. I lived hard like crazy.

You expressed those feelings in the song “I like” that’s included in your 2nd solo album, right? 2PM, drawing, piano; you talk about the things you like, and then you say “I’m curious about everything in this world, I want to know, I scoot off.” True. I feel strongly about that song, but every time I listen to it, I can’t help but snort. I wonder whether I really should’ve been that honest with my lyrics. On the other hand, I wonder how hard it must’ve been. I feel sorry for Jang Wooyoung from that time.

What are you curious about these days? Laundry know-how. Haha.

I heard you say you’re into laundry in the video interview just now, too. I’m nurturing my daily life skills. I want to try and deal with things like laundry and cooking on my own, without any help.

Aren’t you curious why 2PM’s “My House” that was released 5 years ago is suddenly riding a new wave of popularity? It’s definitely something we’re thankful for. I think about it this way. 2PM as group never did anything by force. At first, we showed high level performances that could be practically carried out by young men in their early 20s. We danced, sang, and did acrobatic performances. Brimming with energy, we sang straightforward love songs. After that, we toned down on that power a bit. We began telling sad love stories with our eyes in love, and then we arrived at “My House.” Like a natural process of a brat growing into a mature and charismatic lover. I saw a comment that said “I’m sorry, I’ve become your fan just now,” but I’m actually thankful because it feels like these people have recognized the things 2PM have done in our natural flow.

It’s your 13th year since your debut. How does it feel when you hear that someone has just found out about 2PM? It’s only natural that someone doesn’t know us. The general flow of the trend changes really fast. The competition is also fierce, so you need put a lot of effort if you want to appeal to the masses. But then suddenly, we’re back into the spotlight through “My House.” In the middle of a hiatus no less. I think it’s a miracle.

Aside from “My House,” what other song comes to mind if you had to perform it again? I want to try and pour my entire soul into performing “Without U” that was released 10 years ago. I was responsible for the part where I had to make my singing feel like crying out loud, but back in the days I was the only one to lip sync because the situation with my voice go so bad, I even had vocal cord nodules. I’m still very disappointed I couldn’t perform it live.

2PM has reached the top, your skills were also acknowledged. How do you see yourself in the context of Korean music scene? Hmm, I can’t think of anything else than “Korean idols.” Our activities haven’t always been smooth, but I’m proud of it.

I heard that the meaning of your group’s name is the “hottest time of the day.” When was Jang Wooyoung the hottest? There was a concert in Germany in 2013, commemorating the 130th anniversary of the establishment of diplomatic relations between Korea and Germany. We performed together with senior Lee Mija. I was shocked when I saw her rehearsal. It’s already amazing that she’s still actively performing, but I could feel that she’s constantly striving to sing well. At that, I couldn’t help but freeze and promise myself “Jang Wooyoung, pull yourself together, and work hard.”

You’re the type who learns everything first-hand by experiencing it, right? I heard that you sought out senior Choi Baekho after watching his documentary to share your worries about music, even though you’ve never met him before. That was when I was going through that “adolescence” in my 20s. I felt consoled after watching senior Choi Baeho’s documentary, but there were still things I was frustrated about. So, I contacted him because I wanted to know how he managed to endure everything through his long years in the music scene. Here’s what he said during our first meeting: “My songs will keep on getting better with age. Just like the songs I sang in my 40s were more beautiful than the ones I did in my 30s, I’m heading towards being complete.” When I heard that, I felt like someone slapped me.

I think you can already give advice to someone who’s having similar worries. Have you ever experienced that? I have younger friends in Busan. We danced and dreamed of debuting together. It might sound selfish, but ever since my debut, I’ve never told them anything positive or hopeful about this line of work. When I passed the JYP audition, there was one young friend who cried together with me. Even to that friend, I said: “Can’t you please give up? I wish you didn’t suffer as much as me.” Back then it was really hard mentally and physically. Now my thoughts have changed. If you’re desperate and you’re confident that you will enjoy this constant fight with yourself, I would tell them to go for it. But I would like to tell them to come up with a wise approach to this because it’s easy to get tired and give up along the way.

You’re famous for having focused only JYP auditions. Do you still remember when you placed 1st at the 1st open audition? That must’ve been my 6th attempt to audition. Had I failed back then, I would’ve tried again. I sometimes watch the videos from that time, and I both like it and feel regret. Because the me on the screen looks somewhat tired. If I had allowed myself a little bit more freedom, stepped back and looked at the reality, I would’ve been a lot stronger kid.

What do you think you’ve done really well in life? That I’ve never calculated or analysed anything rationally in my relationships. I liked the other person without knowing anything about the world, and I suffered a lot when the relationship ended. I have my regrets, and I’ve also heard that it’s not a good way to approach a relationship, but someone like me just couldn’t help it. That experience made me into what I am today. I don’t regret it.

How important is love in life? If a person is of no. 1 importance, then love is no. 0. It’s a vague concept, I don’t even know if I can express love properly, but I can feel love through people.

It’s your birthday in 3 days, what would you imagine as a perfect gift? When I was serving, our company moved to a new building. The building is big, and the facilities got better. The practice rooms are also great. I wish I had my own personal space there, could be small too, where I could practice dancing all day long without bothering about others. For real.

So, shall we make an appeal? In your opinion, how much did 2PM contribute to JYP’s new company building? A lot, I think. It’s a 9-storey building, so I’d say around 4.5 floors?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CREDITS

·   Feature editor: Kim Youngjae

·   Photographer: Go Wontae

·   Hair: Yang Hyungshim at Yangyangsalon

·   Makeup: Kim Doyeon at Yangyangsalon

·   Editor: Heoram

 Source: GQ WEBSITE

Kor-Eng: Egle0702