#and im only just now starting to regret those losses as i get older and have continued writing

[swordsmans]

So, after the Big Tumblr FF.net scare, I went to check my account and the fics I loved there, right? Imagine my surprise when I see that one of my fav one piece fic ever, called "Always Gold" by kokune - that hadn't been updated for YEARS - had a new chapter.

Then, imagine my even bigger surprise realizing that this author I had loved for so long had actually been that new AO3 writer I had been enjoying the fics of, while thinking they were somewhat familiar.

Honnestly, best fucking feeling ever. My favourite OP author of when I was 14 is the one I just found under another name. God, I am so glad to know it's you. You have no idea how much I have grieved your writing.

You don't know me, but man, I missed you SO fucking much. 😭

oh my god in all seriousness, though--HI, HELLO, HI!!! YES!!! THAT WAS ME!!! oh my god!!!! thank you so, so, so much. this means SO MUCH TO ME, YOU HAVE NO IDEA. i have honestly been so overwhelmed and overjoyed with how welcoming the fandom has been since coming back (specifically so many wonderful zolu fans??? omg???) and the fact that you remember my really old stuff is just OVERWHELMING. thank you so, so, so much. SO MUCH!!! this means the WORLD to me!!!!

[vibraniumwing]

wildest dreams.

a steve rogers x fem!reader wherein the reader falls in love with the super soldier who can’t seem to let go of the past. 

WARNING: angst, one-sided relationships, set four years after the snap. 

A/N: hello !!! this is the first marvel fic i’m posting and i am very nervous about it aha. i hope all of you would like it though !! i’m kind of back into the flow of things for writing (since im on a one week break from school) but im still trying to maneuver through it. this is inspired by wildest dreams; complementary tissues are here if needed.

word count: 3.7K.

---

Your attitude died the same day your little brother turned to dust in your arms four years ago. The fear and pain his face had was burned into the back of your mind, haunting you on a daily basis; his cries echoing in your head.

But things seemed to change when your aunt introduced you to the talks the remaining Avengers had weekly for the people who were still struggling with the sudden loss of their loved ones; seeing and meeting people who were going through the similar struggle as you helped a lot in coping with the eternal torture that you had. 

That’s when you met him; the man who held your heart in the palm of his hands. Steve Rogers. 

---

“How come you’ve only started going to these meetings after four years?” Kenzie, a girl who’s a few years younger than you asked, causing everyone in the meeting circle to look at you. Your eyes widened at the sudden question, feeling a slight tinge of pink creep up on your cheeks at the attention you’ve gained. 

You bit your lower lip as you contemplated whether or not to answer the question, “I- I had a hard time accepting my brother’s gone since he's my only family. I locked myself up for the last four years, rarely talking to anyone until my aunt forced me to get into these types of things and well now I go here whenever my days get really bad. I had to move on somehow.” You answered, tone laced with truthfulness, giving her a small smile. 

“Well we’re both glad and proud you’re here and that you’ve decided to move on from what happened.” Steve spoke up, making everyone look at him, including you. His blue eyes peering into yours, giving you a small nod which you reciprocated, the eye-contact causing the others words of agreement and encouragement to be drowned out. 

The rest of the meeting flew by as normal as the superhero continued to talk about how everyone should move on from what happened一  accompanied with the occasional stolen glances Steve gives you一 and soon enough, everyone was giving each other hugs and bidding their goodbyes until the next meeting.

You were grabbing your jacket when someone tapped your shoulder, looking back you saw the super soldier look at you with a somewhat nervous glint in his eyes, “You’re Y/N, right?” He asked, showing you a small grin as he pushed his hands inside of his pocket. 

“You have the right person, Mr. Rogers.” You answered, unsure of why he would suddenly come up to you.  It didn’t even take you a second to register the rather homey smell of laundry detergent and a hint of a manly perfume you couldn’t put a name on that he sported. 

“I’ve been seeing you a lot in these sessions一 I, I was wondering if you would like to go grab some dinner sometime?” He asked awkwardly, unsure of how to sentence the thoughts that were inside his mind. 

Your eyebrow quirked at the male who was normally eloquent and sure of his words, is now fumbling over how to ask you out for dinner but who were you to say no to such a rare opportune to spend some time with the male, “I… I would love to.” 

And that was the start of it all. 

--- 

At first he was worried about the situation the both of you had, fearing that you might be hated for once the word goes out to the public that you were dating him so you compromised, telling him that no one has to know what the both of you do; that it was okay for him to keep you as his secret, admitting that all of this gave you a thrill.

Until eight months later, Steve had finally said he had enough of hiding and offered to take you to the Avengers compound where he introduced you to the rest of the heroes who were working hard to keep everything intact after the tragic event that happened a little well-over four一almost five一 years ago.

“Steve, do you think they liked me?” You had asked him, eyes trained to the ground as the both of you walked around the Facility, hands tucked behind your back as the cool air of the setting sun wafted around the both of you. There was silence on his end before he spoke up, “Nat wouldn’t have choked on her drink at that joke you made if she didn’t.” 

You looked up at him, a hopeful smile adorning your lips, “So does that mean I’m accepted here, then?” It was kind of ridiculous to ask that question after hearing him just say that Natasha laughed at your joke, but all he did was nod and wrap his arm around your shoulder, pulling you in. 

“Even if they didn’t, they have no choice. You’re stuck with me.”

The mere memory made you smile as you drove into the facility, having the intention of surprising him with a gift you had made him; a painting of the first photo you two took together, at Time Square.

You and Steve were on another spontaneous road trip; he was free for the day and had asked you to accompany him to drive around New York and before you could even decline, he was already knocking at your apartment door, ready to pick you up. 

The day was filled with quiet laughter as you introduced him to newer music and those timeless masterpieces that he missed out on during his 70 year freeze. “I can’t believe you don’t listen to Queen! That band is a whole icon!” You called him out as you started to play Bohemian Rhapsody in the background. “I’m introducing you to the basics.” 

“Hey I don’t have as much free time as you, you know.” Steve said, stepping on the gas as you two finally entered the rather empty streets of Times Square. 

Your day was filled with laughs and banter as you continued to introduce him to newer songs, occasionally playing some older tunes that he could enjoy himself and talked about how his life was before he was dunked into the ice. “Must’ve been a real hard time for you to grasp on to everything suddenly being so modern.” You commented, looking up from your phone to give him a small smile. 

“Oh trust me, it gave me quite the shock waking up to see everything so… new and foreign. But I had to learn一adapt even to what happened.” He started off, slowing down the car for him to look up at the large skyscrapers. “I had to move on or else I would still be miserable until now.” He said, tongue clicking at the top of his mouth. 

The car came into a full stop making you look at him in confusion. “Why’d you stop the car?” But he didn’t answer, instead he got out and jogged around the car to open the door for you. You stepped out, brows still furrowed. “We didn’t have the luxury to take that many photos back in the day and I would regret it if I didn’t have one with you.” He said, rubbing the nape of his neck. 

Breaking out into a smile, you agreed almost instantly and pulled your phone out, quickly opening the camera. “This is a selfie, alright?” You said, not forgetting to tease him, earning you an eye roll from the male. “I’m not that outdated!” he retorted, pulling you into him as he motioned you to take the photo. 

You were snug in his arms as you put the phone up, “To more memories with you, Captain.” 

You were all smiles the moment you parked your car and grabbed the canvas from the trunk, heading inside the compound where Nat instructed you to go around when you bumped into Rhodey who was quick to recognize you, “Hey you’re Cap’s girl, right?” which made you shake your head hesitantly, causing the other to look at you with a bamboozled expression. “What do you mean ‘no’?” 

“Well, Steve hasn’t asked me out officially but that’ll change soon enough. I made him this gift and will actually ask him. A bit odd I know, but if neither of us would make a move then this would probably drag on.” You confessed, grinning at the soldier excitedly who now had an amazed expression on his face. “Alright then. He’s in the office with Romanoff so knock yourself out.”

You were nearing the office when you overheard the conversation between assassin and Steve. 

“So when are you officially going to ask Y/N out?” The female asked, making your heart race in anticipation and hope that he might actually ask you to be his soon. However, the quietness that followed made your excitement go down and your heart to drop to your stomach; the giddiness you were feeling was replaced with worry as negative thoughts started to infiltrate your mind. 

A sigh was finally heard from the other end, “Nat, I haven’t been completely honest with you. I… I don’t think I ever will.” The latter started off, heaving another sigh as a shuffle of feet was resonating through the quiet room. “It’s just… Y/N’s a great girl you know? I thought I could love her but she’s一 she’s not like Peggy.”

You could hear Nat scoff lightly, probably in disapproval, “Then why’d you lead her on like this? That’s an asshole move from you, Steve.” and you couldn’t agree more. Your mouth was held over your mouth as you tried your best not to make any sound, wanting to hear more from his side before you make your presence known; in foolish hopes that he might be able to move on and be with you instead. 

“I… I honestly don’t know how to bring it up to her. She seems so happy with me and I don’t have the heart to tell her I don’t like her the same way she does with me.” He answered, voice laced with regret and guilt that he made you believe in something that wasn’t even possible in the first place.

That’s when your dreams of being with him was shattered; the visions you had of being in a family with him and living the rest of your days together were turned into dust. You were aware of the history Steve had with the woman; how he met her before subsequently falling into the ice that would freeze him. He made you feel so loved and convinced you that what you were feeling was reciprocal to his but you were wrong. 

So damn wrong. 

Suddenly, the promises he made of being with you until time permits became a blur to you, those late night talks of imagining what could happen if he and the others were to save the world and him bringing back your younger brother seemed like a far-fetched dream which shattered you even more. 

So with every strong fiber that you had left within you, you re-emerged from your hiding spot and looked at the two heroes, Steve being the first one to see you, the color from his face drained. “Y/N I could expl一” 

“Save it. Delete my name from your contacts, Rogers. I’m sorry I was foolish enough to think you would like me.” You told him, walking over to where he was to give the painting you worked so hard on, shoving it into his hands and mustering up the courage to look at him again. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry I couldn’t be your best girl.” 

And then you ran, pretending not to hear him calling out for you; you ran all the way to the parking lot and by the time you could lean onto the door of your car, you were breathless and choking on the tears you fought hard to not spill but it was all too much. 

As you drove away, a part of you hoped he ran after you but you were foolish enough to even hope so because he never did.

---

You sat by the window of your brother’s room, looking out into the empty streets of Manhattan. After the incident with Steve, you were left to fend for yourself again and it left you feeling lonelier than ever. He never contacted you, not even once after everything the two of you have been through. It seems like you were just a memory that was easy for him to forget. 

Tears threatened to fall from your eyes once again when you heard something swoosh from the other side of the room. Snapping your head to the side, you could see something or someone form from dust and that’s when you realized it was your younger brother. 

Rising to your feet, you sprinted over to where he was, “Xavier?” You whispered, choking up on tears as your little brother’s doe eyes looked up at you in disbelief and fear. He was only five years old when he disappeared into nothing and it looks like he hasn’t aged even a day. His arms immediately sprung up to ask for your embrace to which you complied with. 

You scooped the toddler up in your arms and hugged him tightly, fearing he might disappear again. Then you heard it, the streets outside were filled with screams of confusion and terror as people started forming again one by one, chaos ensuing outside of your quiet home; but you were tranquil, because you knew Steve had kept his promise of giving you your brother back, of making everyone else return. 

---

It's been a good week since everyone has gone back, people still trying to process everything that has happened. Families were and still are reconnecting, businesses and government officials are trying to get a hold of things together. 

Your life was slowly going back to normal. Your little brother was back meaning the small house you live in is starting to be filled with joyous laughter again as the little tyke's energy was bursting at the seams. 

You and your aunt watched as Xav played with the teddy bear she got for him upon her visit, "Everything seems so much lighter with the little troublemaker around, isn't it?" She asked, glancing at you as she continued to knead the dough of the cookies she's making for you and your brother. 

"It definitely is. Suddenly this place feels like home aga—" Your sentence was cut in the middle when a loud knock came from your door making your brows furrow. 

"Oh were you expecting anyone?" Your aunt asked, you shook your head in response but before you could answer her your brother's voice resonated through the house. "I'll get it!" but what you expected next was the last thing you could have ever expected. 

“Y/N! It’s- It’s Captain America!” Xavier’s voice was a pitch higher due to his excitement upon seeing the superhero then his laughter soon followed. Your aunt gave you a surprised yet knowing look, motioning you to go to the door. “You better go and ask the man what he wants from you. I’m not listening to your excuses, go.” 

You knew better than to argue with the woman so you slowly made your way to the front door where you saw Steve who sported a few wounds to his face carrying your little brother, his smile wide as he answered questions the child asked. “I think Cap has had enough questions to answer, Xav. Go back inside.” You told him, much to the five year old’s dismay. 

“But Y/N! I haven’t asked一” “I’ll be back later to answer those okay? Go listen to your sister.” Steve was the one to answer now, setting Xavier down and patted his head. He gave the super-soldier a thumbs up and ran inside, giddily telling your aunt that he got carried by the blonde. 

The two of you stared at each other quietly, before you decided to speak up. “How about we go to the backyard and speak there, yeah?” You offered, making some room for him to enter the house, to which he agreed with, entering your humble home. Upon closing the door, you whispered a quiet “let’s go” to him and led him to the back of your house. 

You sat down by the lone tree that stood in the middle of your garden, patting down the space next to you. “So what brings you here?” You asked once he sat down, turning to the male with a small yet hesitant smile. 

“I’m returning the infinity stones tomorrow but before that I want to apologize.” Steve started off, looking into the distance as he couldn’t bring himself to look into your E/C orbs that he once found comfort in, fearing that it might be filled with hatred for him. “I’m not sure how much you heard that night but I have… no excuse for what I did to you. I thought I could love you, that I could move on but I guess I’m still stuck in the past.” He admitted, tone quiet and soft like the rustles of the leaves that hovered above the both of you. 

“I came to you because you reminded me of Peggy. It was selfish of me to even approach you with that intention in the first place but I can assure you that every moment we shared together is something that I cherish deeply. Even一 even the first kiss we had right under this tree right here.” He finished, a sad sigh following his sentence. 

It was a cool night and you were drifting off to sleep when you heard something tap the windows of your room, causing you to sit up and walk towards the source of the noise to see Steve gathering more rocks. Opening the window, “Steve? What on earth are you doing here?” You asked, amused at his antics that seemed too out of character even for him. 

“I came to see you! You aren’t going to the session tomorrow, right?” Steve said, motioning you to come down. His smile was big as the moon shined over him, defining his facial structure even more despite the darkness of the night. 

You shook your head in disbelief, you had told him that you weren’t going to attend this week due to the fact that it was supposed to be your brother’s tenth birthday today and you had every intention to celebrate for him. “Go to the back! I’ll meet you there.” You told him, motioning to the garden at the back of your childhood home. 

You quickly threw on a pair of pajama pants and headed down, grabbing a few snacks from the kitchen pantry before heading out to the backyard where you saw him sitting down by the tree and waved for you to come on over to him. 

You plopped down next to him and his arms were instantly around you, “How old is your brother by tomorrow?” He asked, squeezing you to him gently as he placed a gentle kiss to the top of your head. His familiar scent greets your senses, causing you to completely ease up in his touch. 

“Xav’s supposed to be ten tomorrow. I promised him I would take him to the beach for this tenth birthday so I have every intention of doing so even without him here.” You answered, the familiar feeling of sadness forming in your chest at the idea of spending another birthday without him; it was too painful for you. 

Comfortable silence then wrapped the both of you before he spoke up again, “I promise I’m getting your brother back. I don’t know how we can do that, but I promise you I will.” Determination was dripping through every word, making you look up at him as hopefulness filled your eyes. Your gaze met before you leaned in to connect your lips with his for a quick kiss. 

Realizing your actions, you looked at him in shock as a hand hovered over your lips. “Steve I’m so sorry” but you were quickly silenced when his plush tiers met yours for another kiss, this time longer and filled with more emotions. The both of you kissed until you had to break away due to the lack of oxygen, resting your forehead against his. 

“Don’t be sorry, Y/N.” 

You chuckled softly at the memory, a sad smile on your lips as you decided to speak up, “Did you ever regret meeting me, Steve?” You questioned, staring off into the distance as the feeling of defeat consumed you. There was a shift in his position as his hand cupped your cheek, making you look at him. 

His brows were furrowed as he shook his head, “No, I could never regret meeting you. The only regret I have is with myself. For making you love me when I couldn’t even love you back.”

You leaned into his touch as tears flowed down from your eyes, your sobs following as your heart broke more. There was no denying you had fallen for him, that you had fallen quite hard for him but you couldn’t keep him to yourself; not when he’s still in love with the woman he met decades ago. “Thank you for giving me a chance to love you.” You whispered, thankful for the time he spent with you; for making you feel like he was yours for even just a fleeting moment. 

No words left his mouth as he leaned in to give you another kiss. Unlike the many you’ve shared, this one was chaste and had guilt written all over it. “I have to go.” He then said, hugging you for the last time as he stood up. 

Your hand stopped him from going any further, he looked back down at you with a curious gaze. With the last strong thread that you had, you mustered up a big smile at him. "I hope you still remember me; us. Even if it's just in your wildest dreams." before letting him go. 

“I’ll always remember you, Y/N.” 

---

TAGLIST: will be fixed soon!

[pizzaboat]

I kinda wrote a mom eda fic, cause I wanted to try writing. This is like the first fic I've ever writen so keep in mind it's not gonna be perfect.. but I'm happy how it turned out.. so here!

Some honesty before breakfast

To say Eda had noticed something off with her apprentice, would be an understatement. 

Luz's cheery attitude had all but disappeared for the past two days, and instead had been replaced with a quite sadness that followed the girl wherever she went in the house. Her smiles seemed forced, never quite reaching her eye's, lacking the warmth and joy they usually had.

Eda knew she should have seen this coming, the slow change in luz's demeanour. The portal had been destroyed a month ago, but she'd been too caught up in mourning the loss of her magic, processing the cluster fuck that had been the last few months and adjusting to her older sister taking up residency in her shed, she hadn't noticed.

She should have acted sooner.

Because Eda now watched Luz half heartedly engage in her and King's infamous and dreaded "comedy hour" with all the enthusiasm of Lilith on hooty's cleaning day. 

"Luz, you're not paying attention!" King whined, "my food puns are genius, and not even a smirk!

"Come on, this is some of my best material!" The tiny demon added, dropping what was left of his toast onto his plate.

"Sorry king, I was paying attention" Luz assured pushing her untouched breakfast away "I was just thinking as well, that's all.."

"Sounds like not paying attention to me" He grumbled.

Sounds like a terrible cover up.

Eda finished the last of her Appleblood, pushed away from the counter she was leaning on and picked King up earning a "nyee" from him as she placed him on the floor.

"why don't you go play with your army of dolls or something?" Eda told him.

"They're my army of darkness!" He corrected "and its not playing, it's scheming. machinating if you will"

"Whatever, go do that. I need to talk to Luz" She sighed.

Luz shifted in her seat, and went to leave.

"Actually,  I have a ton of homework so-"

"Nope" Eda cut the girl off "you stay, king go" she ordered 

King muttered something about world domination as he scurried off, and Luz and Eda were left alone of the kitchen.

"So.. is this about potions delivery's?" Luz asked "because I know I haven't been doing the deliveries alot lately and-"

"Kid, what?-no, that isn't what this is about"

Luz fidgeted with the string of her hoody "then, what is this about?" 

"You tell me, you've been acting weird lately- well weirder than usual" Eda said, taking Kings seat at the table and pushing his leftovers aside.

"Its not that big a deal, really" Luz said, but the waver in her voice betrayed her.

Titan help her.

Eda sighed and rubbed her eyes "Look, I'm not an idiot kid, I know somethings up, and I know the past month has been rough. For everyone"

And here comes the emotional mush..

"I know it can't be easy" Eda continued, trying to choose her next words carefully.

"Living under the same roof as Lilith after what's happened, or adjusting to all this crap,  the portal door being destroyed.."

Titan she had no clue what she was doing. How do you comfort people?

"But I want you to know that whatever the problem is, I'm here to help. it matters if it upsets you" Eda told her "and I'll be hexed if I'll let my kid suffer in silence"

"So what's bothering you?"

They sat there for a moment. Eda wasn't sure if her lackluster attempt at reassurance had helped the girl, she searched Luz's face for any signs of what she might be thinking.

Finally, Luz let out in a shakey breath "I miss my mom"

Ah, shit. Of course, the poor kid missed her mother. She really should have guessed that.

"I destroyed the door, to stop belos and- and to save you" Luz's voice cracked " but I miss her.. y'know? .. when things would go wrong back home, she was always there, she knew what to do..." Tears started well in her eyes and spill out onto her cheeks.

Luz sucked in a breath of air " I don't know what to do..the doors gone, and it's my fault and she's probably really worried about me, and its MY fault.

"Im scared I'll never see her again. Eda, I miss my home. I miss my mom"

Of course. None of this was Luz's fault though. Not really. It was Eda's. She was the adult and should have sent her home that first day. But she was selfish and now Luz was paying the price.

"I don't regret saving you though" She continued,  and Eda blinked in surprise.

"Leaving you guys behind was never an option. being here with you and King.. its kinda like home here too" Another shakey breath.

"I know I shouldn't complain 'cause I did this to my self but-" Luz's voice cut off and gave way to sobbing.

Eda didn't know how it happened but she found herself at the other side of the table, wrapping Luz up in one of those "parallel arm" things.

She scooped the girl up easily and sat her on her lap, holding her close as Luz continued to cry. This poor kid, who'd brought so much light into Eda's life, Changed it for the better, magic be damned, was suffering and there was no way in hell Eda was going to stand back and watch her blame herself.

Luz had given up everything. 

In one of the few times where Eda felt compeled to do the right thing, Eda vowed to herself she'd make this right.

"Luz" The witch said with a softness that surprised herself "None of this is your fault, it's OK to be upset"

"it's my fault not yours, I want- no. need you to know that. I'm gonna fix this. I'll find a way to get you back home, and you'll be able to see your mom again" she said, stroking her hair.

"I promise"

Luz looked up from where she had her head buried in Eda's sweater, her eyes were red rimmed and puffey. Luz rubbed at her eyes, and sniffed.

"You promise?" Luz asked, voice horse.

Eda nodded, brushing some of luz's hair back, fixing it.

"I promise, and that's a promise from the most powerful witch on the boiling Isles, kiddo. it's a big deal, infact you should feel kinda honoured"

Luz laughed. And there it was. That smile that had been missing for so long. Eda wasn't going to let anything happen to it again.

"I kind of ruined your sweater" Luz said apologetically as she pulled away.

Eda looked down at her sweater. yep. Human snot. Gross as all hell.

"Don't worry about it, I didn't like the sweater anyway"

Yes she did.

Luz jumped off of Eda's lap "how do you feel now?" Eda asked

"better" Luz smiled, rubbing her eyes still.

"Good, I can't have my apprentice's in emotional distress" eda smirked "it'd be bad for business"

"I'm your only apprentice" Luz shot back grinning.

"details" Eda waved her hand dismissively.

Eda looked at her now. She wasn't crying anymore, which was good. Eda could still see residual tears, but Luz was smiling, no matter how small it was, she was actually smiling again, and that was what mattered.

A loud definitive gurgle sounded through out the room.

"I never ate breakfast" Luz whispered sheepishly.

Luz turned back to her breakfast cereal to see it had long since turned to disgusting mush in the bowl.

"i'll eat something else.." She decided heading towards the cupboards.

Eda had an idea.

"We could make something"

Luz perked up.

"Really?!" 

"I mean, yeah why not?" Eda shrugged " I haven't eaten yet and-"

"Can we make pancakes?!" The girl asked with barely contained excitement "I can dress King up in a little chefs outfit, and we could have pancakes!"

"Um.."

"I have so much prep work to do!" Luz exclaimed as she dashed out the door.

"Kid!" Eda called

"Yeah?" Luz popped her head back in the door.

"Don't forget that if your ever worried about anything at all, you can talk to me. I meant what I said, I'm here to help"

"I know, thanks Eda. I love you" and she was gone.

Eda blinked.

"I love you too, Luz"

[calpops]

into the wind | c.h.

Based on the prompts “can’t you stay a little longer” and “I’ve waited for this moment for a long time”. Calum takes you on a drive away from the record shop and bakery. Star gazing and soft music highlight a night in which you both wish time wouldn’t have to move so fast.

1.6k words

series masterlist

Copyright © 2020 calpops. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted by anyone else on any platform in any format (translations included).

<< >>

Calum’s car is becoming more and more familiar. The faux leather seats are cool against your skin and the air freshener clipped to the vent pours out artificial sweetness; something akin to vanilla. You relax into the seat and buckle in, you have no clue where you’re headed but trust Calum as he settles behind the wheel. He’s brought you home multiple times now, the drives are always quick but time stands still to finish songs parked along the curb. This time you’re headed somewhere new; destination unknown and heart hammering with excitement at the prospect of being with Calum outside of the usual fray—somewhere other than the confines of his record shop or the bakery.

He puts the key in the ignition and the engine stalls for a moment, you catch the quick blush that reddens his cheeks and look the other way, pretending to be preoccupied with something on the sidewalk. In just a moment the engine hums normally and he’s peeling out of the parking spot, headed for somewhere new with the windows rolled down and the wind a welcome guest.

The music comes on as soon as the car starts and a cassette whirs in the player; an old song you don’t know sounds between you. Calum is lost in the drive and the music and your eyes never leave him. His gaze is on the road and he has a grip on the steering wheel with one hand while the other lays palm up on the middle console. A fleeting thought of it being strategically placed for you crosses your mind and you warm at it but you shake yourself and write it off. Your nose scrunches up as your cheeks heat up and you bite your lip as he takes a quick glance at you. Your eyes avert away from his and land on the road.

“The music okay?” He asks and you nearly jump at the sound of his voice.

“It’s good,” you answer with a smile and let the music take over once more as you both lapse into silence.

You can’t help but sneak more glances at him as you drive through familiar streets. Buildings have always dominated the area, some smaller than others , some older and with more character. The town isn’t small but it is a far cry from a city. Buildings pass in a haze and as you catch another glimpse of Calum from the corner of your eye you find you can’t look away or bite back the smile on your face. He darts a quick look at you.

“What?” He asks; voice low and shy and sparking with nervous energy that crackles like lightning you once ran from—and found refuge from in his record shop.

“Nothing—it’s just—well, you were mouthing the lyrics,” you explain and feel your heart race when he blushes again.

“Oh,” he squeaks out and bites his lip. “Sorry.”

“No, no!” You’re quick to defend and deny whatever bashful or regret filled feelings he might be harboring from your observation. In a brash and bold movement you reach for his still open hand; thankful he hadn’t pulled away. “It was cute.”

He grins again and you wonder if it’s for the touch or the compliment. His fingers press into your hold as he gives you a light squeeze and makes a familiar turn. Trees begin to dot the area, fresh air makes way through the windows and the night brings you a bit further away from the usual rush.

“It’s a habit,” Calum explains. “We always have music playing at the shop. If Ashton’s not in my ear I guess I’m singing along.”

You think back to times you were able to sneak glances through the bay window in the bakery and to the register at the record shop. You recall times when Calum was alone but it seemed like he was speaking to someone—you often thought he might be on a call or taking mental inventory and talking to himself like you were apt to do in the kitchen. Now it makes sense. He was singing along to music that poured through the store. You’d only been in a few times and had a small gauge on what songs he might have been lost in. It makes you warm and wonderous. Lost in an attempt to try to put pieces of him together.

“Do you actually sing?” You wonder aloud, his phrasing of the admission leaving you wanting to know more.

He shrugs and humility dances across his face in red cheeks and a twitching nose. You find it endearing and intriguing. His confidence to sing in the record shop or the car contrasts so brightly against the humbleness of his response. You decide not to push the question any further and instead enjoy the feeling of his hand holding yours.

He makes one last turn and the town park shines in the distance from the headlights. In a moment the car is parked and Calum’s turning to face you with his free hand undoing his seatbelt. Your eyes squint as you try to figure out what’s happening. He doesn’t let go of your hand but his eyebrows raise at your inquisition and you feel your heart flutter. You glance at the park past the rope fence tied off; declaring it’s closed.

“Don’t tell me we’re breaking into the park after hours?” You ask and Calum grins but shakes his head no. You tilt your head and await an explanation.

“It’s the only place in town that doesn’t have a brick wall for a view,” he explains and reaches for his door handle which prompts you to do the same though it means losing contact with his hand.

The loss is cold and so is the night but it’s an enjoyable bite of chills that dance in the breeze as you get out and round the car to meet him at the hood. He taps the car invitingly and eases himself up to sit with plenty of room for you by his side. He offers you his hand again and helps you up; minimal distance separates you now, only the wind able to come between you. His gaze is lost to the lush green of the park and eventually tilts up to the sky that shows more of the stars than anywhere else in town. The night is clear and half a moon stares down at both of you, a sliver of moonlight sharpens his jawline and glints off his dark eyes. Music still plays from the car and for a moment everything is curtained in moonlit bliss and a soundtrack reminiscent of easy love stories.

You don’t know how much time has passed or how many songs have played when Calum inches a bit closer. You’ve been caught in conversation that feels entirely too easy and natural. Shy demeanors and walls come crumbling down when privacy and the calm of the night blankets you both. It’s different than in the record shop, it’s less awkward and rushed than in the bakery. You talk about anything but the record shop and bakery; trying to get to know different sides of each other. Everything is easy and subtle. The weight of his arm finding its way around your shoulders doesn’t feel heavy in the slightest, it’s weightless like the air and fully embracing like a summer breeze. You’re smiling as you lean into him and then you’re fully grinning and laughing as he guides you both back to lay atop the hood and find the stars with careful gazes.

You know it’s getting late but time nearly feels irrelevant when you shift and timidly rest your head against his chest. He welcomes it with an inviting arm holding you a bit tighter and a content sigh falling from his lips that cuts off a story about his dog mid sentence. You hear the way his heart skips a beat and picks back up a bit faster. You warm and he picks up talking again; filling the night with the rest of a story about how he adopted Duke. When the story ends and you lapse into a comfortable lull it’s your turn to sigh.

“It’s getting late,” you realize once more and wish time wouldn’t have to move so fast; wish it could pause like you both did to hear the end of songs at the end of your driveway.

“We should get going,” he replies but his tone harbors on a question that instills an opposing thought in your mind.

“Could we stay? Just a while longer?” You ask timidly, slowly sitting up and leaning on an elbow to meet his stare. “It’s really nice to be away from the rush of things.”

Calum nods and maneuvers to mimic your position. You’re now eye to eye and the rest of the world bleeds away in faded moonlight and distant thumps of music. It’s all replaced by the slight pout of his lips and the gleam catching dark brown as he inches closer. Everything but his hand reaching up to lightly trace your jaw fades away. He leans in and you do too; it’s a whirlwind of a paused moment when lips meet and breath is stolen. Time seemingly doesn’t move as fast when he gently caresses your face as he pulls away in a slow manner.

“Feels like I’ve been waiting to do that for a long time,” he admits and you silently agree; all those days turned to weeks catching glances through the windows and late night drives home adding up to a time that seems much too long to have gone without a kiss.

You lean forward and into the wind again, chasing another kiss and blissful moment created by a whirlwind of stalled time.

<< >>

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[crqstalite]

after adamant.

ugly little fic that i wrote in the middle of the night a while ago and shared with a friend. post-adamant about my inquisitor trying to rationalize their losses at the fortress and in the fade. nothing’s capitalized, so if that annoys you, this isn’t the little fic for you.

chose not to use warnings? im not quite sure what to use here, so tread lightly.

dragon age inquisition. 

-

she stays strong, after adamant it’s all everyone needs. she sees to the few wardens that had been at the keep, had offered inquisition aid.  they thank her thousands of times over, as uneasy as they are.

their senior warden, alistair, won’t meet her eyes. deep brown orbs looking anywhere but at her, even with a smile on his face. he thanks her, quietly. bandages wrapped around his side, muttering that he’d need to get a letter out to the hero of ferelden — tabris.

she leaves him, offering to let leliana find her. to let leliana send the message and get it back to him as soon as possible. he agrees, numbly is when she swings a leg over the elk in the morning, sun peaking over the rise in the distance.

she knows that look that settles in his dark brown eyes, that look that cries it should’ve been me. but she’s sure he knows what he must do now, to lead the wardens properly against corypheus. she thanks him.

he doesn’t say it, but he does respond that hawke’s sacrifice would not be vain. that shatters a part of her, seals her lips all the way back to skyhold. thankfully, marzeyna is lucky enough no one else is in a talkative mood. but they will be, with questions, with reactions, maybe with thinly veiled anger.

she’s not sure if she’s lucky or simply being lied to when varric seems more despondent than furious with her. he simply responds there are letters to write, to bethany, to other friends she’d made in kirkwall. they’d been close. she bites her lip hard enough to draw iron laced blood to keep from crying.

he hugs her.

though he’s not mentioned, marzeyna doesn’t make the request to send a letter to the mage anders. though he will be left in the dark, surely varric would know how close they’d been. the way hawke spoke of him, with a wistful tone laced with uneasiness, she doesn’t want to look into his eyes and tell him she was the reason reyna hawke would not be coming home.

she makes her rounds. to cassandra, to blackwall, to dorian. then to the others who learning of it secondhand, to leliana, who’d been hurt over justinia. to sera, to bull, to vivienne, to solas, who was fascinated about her journey into the fade.

she doesn’t indulge him. any other day, she might’ve, but not today.

marzeyna has to put on a brave face when she’s nearly hit with what she assumes to be a lyrium kit when she visits cullen. to think she’d thought she’d get any miniscule amount of comfort from anyone after her return, she would’ve thought, just maybe, that it would be him. but no, her nerves are shot and she’s terrified and can’t think straight. she hasn’t slept since before adamant, doesn’t even want to think about dreaming in the fade. and yet, she’s able to give cullen the strength he needs to go on. 

she wavers. her tiny form struggles to make it back to the war room after the moon has long risen in the sky. working, bent over the war table. they’d head out for the exalted plains in the morning. switch out her ground forces, get to work.

get her mind off the blonde woman that haunted her thoughts these days. piercing storm cloud eyes with dexterity over daggers that she’d never seen before. a determination to save mages from the templars that burned white hot within her, flames licking everyone she met.

her voice never wavering when she’d accepted her fate. a strong nod when she drew her daggers for the last time.

she shoves the knife meant for josephine’s diplomatic mission into the table deeper than she’d intended, grinding it into the table with a groan. her fire red hair falls into her face, her once tight ponytail loosening into a lump of curls at the base of her neck.

magic crackles at her fingertips, papers flying off the desk and fluttering to the floor. lelianna’s secrets, cassandra and solas’ requests, josephine’s agreements, cullen’s reports.

yanking off her gloves in front of the fire in her quarters, she grits her teeth when she can’t yank a swollen finger out of it’s respective sleeve. eyebrows knitting together in frustration, fire climbing her thoughts.

why hadn’t she been quicker? why hadn’t she forced them ahead with magic? she could’ve done something, done anything different. could’ve fade stepped them past the bastard. but no, she hadn’t done any of those things. she’d knowingly sent hawke to her death, not fought alongside her and alistair, but sent her away so she and alistair could get away.

the glove comes off, pain reverberating through her hand in waves. she kicks off her boots, the pair thumping away somewhere in the darkness.

she should be the one in the fade. running for her life, terrified in the darkness of the spiders she saw racing towards her. reliving nightmare after nightmare.

marzeyna was a mage. she could’ve handled it longer before she went mad. reyna was not, she was a young woman from kirkwall. a rogue no less. so stupid, marzeyna should’ve been the one to stay behind. from what little she understood of the tensions between varric and cassandra, hawke could’ve been the inquisitor. hell she probably was supposed to be. or alistair’s love, tabris.

both were older, wiser than she was. with only twenty five years on her, she wonders if some God with a sick sense of humor had decided it should be her. things had only gone wrong when she appeared in haven, half alive and delirious. justinia had died, the mage/templar conflict in the hinterlands that she couldn’t solve, alexius.

then they lost haven. and so many people. the smell of wood burning around her and screams of people being cut down by red templars. her advisors asking for orders, her mind spiraling in a thousand different directions.

she wonders if cullen saw the terrified look in her eyes when he’d spoken to her. saw her fumbling for answers, saw the little girl that had been given too much power, much too soon. had second thoughts about her being the so called herald of andraste. had wondered why he put his faith in her.

marzeyna lavellan. she was a mage. and a dalish elf. two of the most marginalized statuses you could have in thedas, and so many people still looked up to her. asked her what to do, trusted her not to lead them astray. 

hawke had trusted her. marzeyna had promised her she’d get her out alive, had promised she’d get her back to bethany. to anders. that they could do this.

she yanks a box, some sort of box, maybe empty off the desk and throws it, chucks it into the wall just off the windows. it crashes, shattering into splinters of oak. then something else holding an ink quill, lighter, easier to throw. that too shatters, ceramic maybe. it’s satisfying almost, anger and regret and everything in between flooding her emotions like a tidal wave. they drown her, choking her when she screams like a caged animal, chucking another small box into the wall. raw magic dances at her fingertips and lights her ablaze, body glowing a gentle white as hot tears slide down her face in rivers.

justinia. maybe. she’s needed her and there was nothing she could do. she failed her.

every single person in haven believed in her. they needed her when corphyeus arrived with his forces.

hawke had believed in her. smiled at her. told her jokes. at first skeptical, as any non andrastian would be. but quickly had become her friend. her first real one that wasn’t asking her what was next all the time. someone she could go to when her advisors were too much that day.

her hands clench into fists in her hair, sobs heavy and heaving as she slides to the floor in a heap against one of the walls. now hawke was gone, and it was all her fault. just like it’d been before. another person who’d gotten killed because of her.

she’d tried to justify her decision. the wardens would need someone to lead them through this possible blight. tabris would need him when she got back with her research into the fake calling. 

nothing answers when she thinks about hawke. she can’t justify her death. she was a good person, supported mages to a fault. didn’t seem the type to kick puppies. was friendly to everyone, had a sister, had a friend in varric.

then, why isn’t marzeyna dead?

she has nothing. clan lavellan maybe, but they’d surely replaced her by now, it wasn’t as if she was coming back now. it wasn’t like they were clambering to see her again. she’s a mage, she’s already being persecuted anyway. and it wasn’t as if what she’d started with cullen couldn’t be forgiven. it wasn’t anything serious, he could meet someone else.

sure, she was young. younger than most in the inquisition. but others still had most of their lives ahead of them. she had nothing. no future beyond what lie inside of skyhold.

hugging her knees, the pants legs begin to wet with the fat tears rolling down her cheeks. the anchor was the only thing that made her important, that kept people from actually wanting to get her killed. people put their lives on the line for her. and she couldn’t even return the favor.

her nails dig into her biceps, curling in on her herself as a draft whips into the room. a shiver after the fire chases it away. 

then why is she still here? she’s nothing, no one. 

and right now, she doesn’t want to be anyone. she doesn’t go to bed that night, reading reports until she can’t. staving off sleep to keep from drifting into the fade against her will. eyes blurring and burning when she dresses herself in the morning, she avoids varric’s gaze following her down the corridor to the war room. josephine follows, rattling off things she doesn’t understand. nobles. treaties. alliances.

lelianna and cullen join them a few minutes later. if they notice her hands shaking, they don’t say anything. a glimmer of concern in cullen’s eyes, josephine outright with the words on her lips, gently biting them back.

she should be dead, she chants when they arrive in the plains, i don’t even have a right to be alive. she should be here, and yet i handed the situation to her like the scared child i am.

it’s the beginning of many restless nights.

[flamegatorwrites]

Feel (BruAbba oneshot)

Warnings: PART 5 SPOILERS, angst, death

A/N: ok hi so i wrote all of this in like 2 hours so im sorry if its trash. ive been hardcore vibing with bruabba lately, and ive needed to vent, so this was sort of a 2 in 1 combo haha. also uhh part 5 spoilers so if you havent gotten past like episode 28 then leave unless you want it spoiled for you.

Dealing with loss was always something Bruno was good at. He had to be; not only for himself, but now that he was promoted to capo, he had to stay strong for Passione- well, what remained of it.

Narancia had finally tired himself out. He was inside of the turtle now, leaving only Bruno and Giorno outside on the boat. They were on their way to the Colosseum, where the man in the computer told them to go. He still didn't fully trust whoever it was, but it was a hell of a lot better than sitting back and doing nothing. Worst case scenario, it turns out to be a stand user.

He didn't want to admit to the others that he didn't trust the man. He didn't even want to be around the others. Usually, dealing with the loss of a loved one, he'd been alone. He'd been able to pick himself back up and grieve fairly easily. Now that he was the sole guardian of literal children, it wasn't exactly the same. Not only did it hurt to watch them grieve over someone closer to them than their own families, it hurt to lose the man he considered the love of his life.

Bruno always considered him an attractive man. Leone Abbacchio, one of the most esteemed police in Italy. He and Bruno never interacted during Abbacchio's days as a cop, but Bruno always found himself admiring him- from his work ethic, to his sense of justice, and even his looks. But as everyone knows, as beautiful as Italy is, everyone in charge was cruel and corrupt- and willing to kill. Soon, Leone became what he hated the most. After his partner died, he retired. His life went down the drain, he became an alcoholic, and he gave up on everything- including that sense of justice that Bruno loved so much.

Eventually, Bruno decided to shoot his shot. He only had one man on his team, and that wasn't enough to achieve his main goal. Besides, he'd always wanted to talk to him anyways, so why not start then?

He was a little hard to convince at first. He wouldn't even open the door. Bruno would've thought he was dead if he hadn't seen the curtains beside the door move.

Every day for almost two months, Bruno would come by to check on him. Sometimes he would bring fresh food, other times he would simply listen to Leone, allowing him to vent to someone who wouldn't judge him. Eventually, he decided to join Passione, and he moved in with Bruno.

It was only meant to be platonic. Sure, Bruno did find him attractive, and he may have developed a crush. But it would pass, he kept telling himself. Abbacchio relied on him, he trusted him. What would he think if Bruno turned around and shoved all of his feelings down his throat? Bruno didn't even know if he felt that way about other men, let alone himself.

One night, though, that changed. He'd been living with them for around 4 months by then, and it was around two in the morning. Bruno was awakened by Fugo and Narancia shaking him firmly. 

"What's wrong?" Bruno yawned. It wasn't until he heard the screaming that he got up and ran out of the room, the younger boys trailing behind.

"Narancia, search the area! It's late, so nobody-"

"Bucciarati, I already have!" 

"Well do it again, damn it!" He growled, bursting into Abbacchio's room. He was screaming as if he'd been stabbed, flailing wildly about his bed. 

"Go!" he yelled at the boys. Narancia summoned Aerosmith, running back down the hallway, and Fugo glared at him.

Bruno kneeled down beside the bed. He looked for any blood on the sheets, any sign that someone had broken in, but he found nothing. He wasn't hurt- he was having a night terror. 

"Leone," he said, lightly shaking the older man's arm. "Leone, wake up."

He sat up immediately, his silver hair clinging to his neck and forehead. He coughed, loudly, clutching his sweaty t-shirt. 

"Fugo," Bruno called, "I need a glass of water!"

He didn't bother to listen for his footsteps down the stairs. Instead, he only focused on Abbacchio. He was silent, except for his heavy breathing. Bruno sat on the bed beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder. Abbacchio trembled under his touch. The expression on his face could only be described as pure emptiness. The tears in his eyes began to fall down his cheeks, trailing some of the leftover eyeliner from the night before with it. 

Bruno wiped them away with his thumb, then pushed his stray hairs behind his ear. Fugo appeared beside them with the glass of water, holding it out for Abbacchio to take.

"Grazi," Bruno whispered, as Abbacchio grasped the cup. "I'm sorry for being so rude earlier, I hope you and Narancia can forgive me."

"It's alright, sir," Fugo sighed. "Should I tell Narancia to go back to bed?"

"That would be great," Bruno smiled. "You go ahead and get some rest too. We'll have an easy day tomorrow, so you can sleep in as long as you'd like."

"Thank you, Bucciarati."

Fugo trudged out of the room and called for Narancia. Bruno turned back to Abbacchio, who'd drank most of the water. He sat the glass down on the bedside table. He wasn't as sweaty anymore, and his breathing had returned back to normal, but he was still shaking.

"I thought something happened to you," Bruno sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I don't know what the hell I'd do if you got hurt-"

"Bruno," Abbacchio whispered, his voice hoarse and shaky. "I'm so sorry. I'm okay."

"No you're not, Leone."

"It's been so long…" his voice broke. He began to sob, his quiet tone slowly getting louder. "It's been months since he died and I still have nightmares about it! Every fucking night all I can see is his face. It's all I can fucking think about!"

"Leone, it's alright-"

"No, it's not fucking alright, Bruno!"

He buried his face in Bruno's chest. Bruno embraced him, taken aback by the sudden contact. Abbacchio was not a hugger. Hell, he hardly even spoke unless it was with Bruno. 

Fugo and Narancia peeked into the doorway. Bruno waved them off, hoping they would just go back to bed. They gave in and left, still eyeing the two older men suspiciously. 

"Bruno," Abbacchio whispered, "Please don't leave me."

"I won't."

"I just… I just need you with me. You're the only person that understands."

"Leone," he sighed. "It's okay to hurt. It's okay to feel. I'll always be here for you."

Abbacchio sat up and his eyes met Bruno's. Bruno stared in awe. He never noticed how beautiful his irises were. They were golden and rimmed with a light purple, almost like a ray of sunlight shining through the darkest storm clouds you'd ever seen. It was beautiful- he was beautiful. 

It's okay to feel.

His own words repeated in his head. Bruno leaned back on the bed, Abbacchio joining him. After some adjusting and moving around, they found themselves in a comfortable position. Abbacchio laid his head on Bruno's chest, his long hair flowing around them like a waterfall. Bruno ran his fingers through the silver locks, and Leone almost immediately relaxed. 

Bruno stayed up to make sure Abbacchio fell asleep. Eventually, his breathing evened out and he began to lightly snore.

And it stayed like that. That's how they slept almost every night until today.

"Bucciarati."

He was pulled out of his trance by Giorno. The blond was now sitting beside him, a hand on his shoulder. Mista was on the other end of the boat beside the motor, feeding the pistols some chips. He was silent, which was new to everyone. Mista always had a smartass comment waiting to come out, but he wasn't even looking up at the other two.

"I think you should go into the turtle. Mista and I can keep watch."

"Why do you say that?" Bruno asked. "I'm fine."

"Sir, please," Giorno sighed. "I know how it feels to lose someone close to you. You need to rest, you've been working hard enough as it is."

"I'm fine," Bruno snapped. "I'm not going to take orders from someone lower in the gang than me- especially someone who only joined this gang three days ago."

"I-I'm sorry, sir, I j-"

"Don't 'I'm sorry' me! You don't even know how I feel right now. You'll never understand this!"

"Sir-"

"I lost someone who I'd planned my entire future with! I lost the love of my life, and you don't even understand how I feel! You don't understand how any of us feel. If it weren't for you, I'd still have him here! He hated you! I should've listened to him!"

Giorno sat in silence, staring down at his shoes. Bruno knew he'd regret saying all of that- his and Abbacchio's relationship had been kept private from the other members, and for a good reason, too.

"I'm going into the turtle," he mumbled. He decided to get in before either of them could say anything about his rant. He knew he had to get it together before the others woke up. He couldn't act like this in front of them- he was their capo, they looked up to him, they respected him. He couldn't feel this way around them.

Then, he heard those words running through his head that he'd told Abbacchio all those years ago-

It's okay to feel.

[heyyyharry]

Olivia

(from the Flatmate!Harry Series)

...in which Y/N’s dealing with her family issues, and Harry’s past comes knocking on his door.

I know you guys have been waiting so long for this so I can only hope this doesn’t disappoint you. 

Harry cannot explain his unusual hatred of surprises. He hates surprise parties, he hates unexpected phone calls, he hates London’s unpredictable weather, he hates movies plot twists, he hates changing plans at the last minute, and most of all, he hates uninvited visitors. But somehow ever since moving in with Y/N, he’s been facing all of the above on a daily basis. And today is one of those days when a surprise just casually shows up at his front door.

Y/N has a presentation for her business club this morning, so when Harry wakes up she is already gone. As Harry’s making himself a sandwich for breakfast, the first and probably only guest of the day rings on his doorbell. He knows it’s not Y/N because whenever she forgets the keys she would just stand outside and shout out his name, the same thing happens when Niall comes to visit and the door’s locked. 

Harry rolls his eyes and leaves the sandwich on the kitchen counter to go see who it is, hoping that this person won’t ruin his entire day.

“It is you!”

Before Harry can react, the blonde haired stranger pulls him into a hug and tells him how thrilled she is to finally see him again. Shocked and confused, he grabs her by the arms and slightly pushes her away.

“Wait, do I know you?!”

“Haz, you don’t remember me?!”

There is only one person in this entire world who calls him by that nickname, and now that he has a better look at her face, he just doesn’t believe in his own eyes that she’s actually here in person.

“Ollie!” Harry almost tackles his childhood best friend to the ground with that hug, causing Olivia to squeal but starts laughing anyway.

“What are you doing here? How did you find me?” Harry doesn’t even realize how big his smile is, he’s just overjoyed that she came back to him after all those many years.

“I just arrived here two days ago. Last week I visited your mum and she gave me your address!”

Olivia finally breaks the hug. With both hands on his shoulders, she takes a step back to admire how much he’s grown.

“And look how tall you are! When I left we were the same height! Now you’re a head taller than me! What is this?! And your voice! Oh my God!”

“It’s called puberty!” Harry rolls his eyes. “And thank you, you look great, too!”

Olivia puts her hands on her hips and squints her eyes at him in doubt. “Really? Because I think my boobs are still a bit small.”

To his surprise, she actually places both hands on her breasts and squeezes them right in front of him. Harry immediately clears his throat and turns away. If this had happened before he began dating Y/N, he would’ve found it completely normal for the nature of their friendship. But he’s in a relationship now, it’s uncomfortable to see another girl do something like that.

“Boobs scare you now?” Olivia covers her mouth and gasps. “Haz, are you gay?!”

“No!”

“It’s fine if you are though.”

“What? No, love!” He shakes his head and chuckles at her funny reaction. “I’ve got a girlfriend now so…yeah…”

“It’d be more believable if you said you were gay.”

“Nope. My girlfriend lives here with me.” 

Olivia looks at her friend with bug eyes and slack-jawed, arms crossed in front of her chest. Of course she’s aware that it’s been years since they last saw each other, and he’s definitely not the same sixteen year old boy she knew anymore, but she didn’t expect Harry to turn into someone who would move in with his first serious girlfriend!

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Harry laughs.

“I think I’ve got the wrong address. Sorry!” Olivia jokes and turns to walk away but Harry grabs her by the wrist and smoothly spins her around to face him again.

“You haven’t changed much, Ollie,” he says, winning a smile from her.

“Is it a good or a bad thing?”

“Good. But you should’ve just called me before coming here.”

“What’s the fun in that?” Ollie reaches up to stroke Harry’s curls, looking happier than ever. “Besides, I knew how much you hated surprises!”

...

“And that’s the end of my presentation. Thank you for listening!”

With a smile on her face, Y/N walks back to her seat in the applause of her peers. As the next person comes to the front to deliver his presentation, which Y/N doubts will be nearly as good as hers, she receives a call from an unknown ID. 

At first she doesn’t want to pick it up, thinking it’s either a telesales employee or an estate agent, as always, but her phone has been vibrating for a while now it makes her think this one call could be important. So she excuses herself and leaves the room to answer it.

“Y/N, it’s me, Maisie!”

For a second, all Y/N can see is herself falling head first into a dark black pit. She wants to think it’s just a prank and that someone’s pretending to be Maisie, her sister. However, she cannot lie to herself and say she doesn’t recognize the voice on the other line. How can she not? She grew up hearing that voice every single day. 

“Y/N, are you there?”

She should just hang up. She should just pretend she’s never picked up that phone call, but deep down inside she knows that’s not what she wants. In this very moment, Y/N can finally relate to her boyfriend's unusual hatred of surprises.

So that is how Y/N ends up meeting her sister in the park near her campus. When she sees Maisie, she still thinks this is a bad idea, because when somebody leaves you and later comes back, they’re never the same person. Her sister could be a dangerous criminal and she still wouldn’t know because it’s been years since she last heard from Maisie. 

Before the incident, the two of them used to be so close. They shared a bedroom and Maisie read Y/N at least one bedtime story every single night. Maisie got her first boyfriend and the girls grew apart, and the night Maisie left in her boyfriend’s car she didn’t even say goodbye to her little sister. 

“How did you find me?” Y/N asks, arms crossed defensively in front of her chest and she’s not even looking at her sister as they’re having this conversation on the park bench.

“I ran into Violet...”

“Violet? Did you blackmail my best friend to get my number?”

“No! I just told her about my situation and she was so understanding.”

It does sound like Violet, Y/N’s no stranger to her high school best friend’s good nature. No one’s more easy to be manipulated than Violet.

“And what situation is that?” Y/N lets out a sarcastic chuckle. She still cannot believe Maisie’s never contacted her once ever since she left but suddenly when she needs something from her she just casually shows up like nothing had never happened. 

It doesn’t sound like Y/N to blame every unfortunate event in her life on her older sister whom she hasn’t seen in years, but she’s more than sure that had it not been for Maisie’s incident, her parents wouldn’t be pressuring her to become her perfect oldest brother, Darren, knowing she cannot. All because of how much she reminds them of the daughter they’ve lost.

“I didn’t know anyone else to turn to,” Maisie says while her fingers start fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, same thing Y/N would do whenever she’s nervous. “I couldn’t come back home to see mum and dad. If I knew where Darren was, I still couldn’t come to him, he’s always hated me. You’re my only family, Y/N.”

“You should’ve thought about that when you left me.” Y/N’s voice breaks at the last three words. 

“If it’d been you, I doubt you would’ve stayed with our problematic parents Y/N.” Maisie’s response leaves Y/N at a loss for words. “All mum and dad wanted was a perfect child. They didn’t care how horrible it was for me to find out I was pregnant with my first boyfriend! I know my pregnancy wasn’t planned, but I didn’t want my child to grow up thinking she’s unwanted.”

“She...?” 

“Yes.” Maisie smiles at how the look in her sister eyes softens. “Her name’s Eleanor, she’s five now. You’re an aunt.”

Wow, Y/N thinks to herself. When she woke up this morning, she never would’ve thought she would receive an unexpected phone call from her sister, and she would end up having a five-year-old niece that she’d never known of. Though the title makes her feel a bit old, she cannot hide the fact that she’s over the moon.

“Where’s she now?” she asks Maisie, whose smile disappears once receives that question. 

“At home, my neighbor’s babysitting her while I’m at work.”

“Where’s her dad?”

"Last week he left us.” Y/N feels her heart ache when she finally gets the answer. “He met a rich woman, who was willing to give him everything she had only if he’d give up his poor family, and that’s what he did...”

“I’m sorry...” Y/N reaches out to hold her sister’s hand and brings it to her lap. 

Maisie presses her lips into a smile. “I know we haven’t talked in years, and it’s not right to come here and ask for your help but I don’t know what to do. He left me with nothing, so I took El here to start over, but my waitress salary can only afford her clothes and food. I can’t pay the rent and if I don’t have the money this weekend, the landlord will kick us out.”

Y/N has no idea what’s gotten into her, but she doesn’t regret saying what she says next, “what can I do to help?”

...

Harry feels something’s off when his girlfriend returns to their shared flat. She seems worried and irritated and the first thing she does when she enters the living room isn’t to kiss him on the cheek, but to go straight into the kitchen for a glass of water. He asks her what’s wrong but she says she just had a bad day, that’s all. 

“Hey, guess who came to see me today?” Harry asks when Y/N’s texting on her phone and doesn’t even bother to look at him. “Olivia. I’ve told you about her once.”

“Sure, that’s great, baby.”

That answer, to Harry, is no different from a slap across the face.

“You’re not listening.” It’s not even a question, it’s a statement.

Y/N looks up, and the questioning look she’s giving Harry immediately confirms that he was right.

“I said-”

“Wait! I have to make this call! We’ll talk later okay?” Y/N quickly tells Harry and walks right past him to her room.

When her door’s closed, Harry still has no idea what just happened. He wants to follow her and interfere with that phone call then demand her to talk to him, but he thinks that’s probably too much, and maybe he’s overreacting. So he sits on the couch and wait for her to come back. Little does he know, he’ll have to wait until morning.

...

Y/N’s behaviors in the next few days are just incomprehensible to Harry. They live in the same flat but they don’t speak more than two sentences to each other a day and she’s always coming home late then making excuses like she’s too tired to talk or she just wants to be alone. At first Harry thought he was being delusional, but gradually, he feels like she’s drifting further away from him. 

“What’s on your mind?” 

Olivia’s voice breaks Harry’s train of thought and he blinks a couple of times to adjust to reality, which makes her giggle. They just went to the bookstore together, which was originally a date with Y/N but she blew him off at the last minute.

“Come on, your ice cream’s melting, Haz.”

“I can’t understand your craze for ice cream.” He laughs when notices Olivia’s finished half of her cone as they’re walking down the street back to her hotel. 

“I don’t need a reason to like something.”

That’s obviously a lie, but Harry doesn’t need to know. Even if he already did, Olivia wouldn’t tell him either. She’d like to think about it as her own little secret.

Olivia became Harry’s friend when they were in middle school, but their history went all the way back to first grade. She was really sad that day, sitting on her doorsteps alone while her parents were arguing in the kitchen, and he was riding his bike around the neighborhood when he found her. It was none of Harry’s business, he didn��t even know who she was, he just knew his mum had taught him to never walk away from a sad girl. 

“This is for you,” he said, handing her the chocolate ice-cream he bought with his own pocket money.

Olivia looked at him, eyes wide, then shyly mumbled a soft “Thank you.”

They hadn’t spoken another word to each other until middle school when they got paired as partners for a class project and later on became close friends. Olivia still doesn’t know if Harry remembers how they first met, but every time they meet, Olivia would ask Harry to buy her a chocolate ice cream and Harry would always do it without question. The truth is, she doesn’t even like ice cream that much, only for him that she does.

“Are you still in university?”

“Of course, Harold! You know how important education is to me!” Olivia playfully slaps Harry’s chest. “Just kidding, but yeah I’m still in uni. I just decided to take a gap year and travel the world. Before I came here, I was in Bali. Holy shit, it was the best time I’ve ever had!”

“Fuck, that sounds awesome.”

“It really is! My next destination is Korea! You can come with me! I mean...if you want.”

They’ve talked about traveling far away together before. When they were younger, all they ever dreamed of was to get to eighteen so they could go anywhere. She used to be his partner in crime, “used to”, sad, but also true. A lot have changed since the day she left, and despite how she feels about him remains unchanged after all those years, she’s no longer his first and foremost. 

“I don’t want to leave Y/N behind, and I’m not so sure she would like to come with me.” 

“Right. Harold’s got a girlfriend now,” Olivia teases as she pokes his dimple with her forefinger, wishing she could be as cool about this as how she appears to be.

The rest of the way back to Olivia’s hotel is silence. Something has dawned on the pair of friends since the moment Y/N was brought up, something they have always known but for the sakes of their friendship, pretended like they didn’t.

When they arrive, Harry thanks Olivia for joining him today, after that they share a hug, which is too formal for their liking.

“Haz,” calls Olivia when her friend turns to leave. “Do you...uh...do you want to come to my place tonight?”

“What for, love?”

“Uh, i don’t know. I can cook for you if you’d like. I’ve been eating alone these days, it’s pretty sad.”

“Okay. Can Y/N come?”

“S-Sure!” Olivia nods. “Of course!”

“Great! Thanks, Ollie! We’ll see you tonight!” With that, he walks away, however, with an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Harry heads back to his shared flat, thinking about Y/N constantly. Even though he’s still a bit mad at her for ignoring him, he still wants to believe his girlfriend has a good reason for it. He knows she loves him so she wouldn’t hide things from him. Harry really wants to believe so. 

But how can he convince himself she has nothing to hide when he comes home, once again, to a dark empty flat, with just a single note on the fridge: Working late to prepare for a business club’s event. Don’t wait up for me! Love you. :)

Harry rereads the first sentence over and over again in his head, not wanting to believe that is Y/N’s actual handwriting. Because it’s a lie. There’s no event preparation because there’s no event to begin with. 

Harry ran into the president of her business club this morning, and that girl told him Y/N hasn’t shown up at club meetings for days, let alone be this devoted to stay late preparing for an event which she will definitely miss. Now Harry just doesn’t know if he’s more hurt or more disappointed. And what confuses him more is the fact that he still believes that she has a decent reason for lying to him.

Letting out a sigh, Harry pulls out his phone and types down a quick text to Olivia, not sure if it’s the right thing to do, but it’s better to get drunk with someone else than just yourself when you’re desperate.

Hey, I guess it’s just me and you tonight. H. 

...

“More?”

Harry shakes his head slightly to refuse another bottle of beer Olivia offers. He’s a bit tipsy right now, and sure he will probably book an Uber to get home, but he knows Y/N hates it when he’s one over the eight.

“Are you seriously still thinking about your girlfriend?” Olivia laughs, which lets Harry know she’s now on the same level of tipsiness as he is. 

Just less than an hour ago, Harry was eating with her on the sofa but somehow they ended up lying side by side on the floor between empty glass bottles. 

“Are you happy with her, Haz?”

“Of course I am,” Harry responses without a second though. Even when he’s drunk, Y/N’s still the only thing he thinks about. For someone who’s never been in love before, he thinks he’s never been more sure of his feelings.

The pair drowns in silence for a brief moment as Olivia finishes the beer in her hand, only to change the subject soon afterwards.

“Do you remember our first time? That was some fun shit.”

This would be a weird subject to discuss with one of your old flings when you’re already in a relationship. However, Harry’s not in his right mind to decide what he should and shouldn’t say.

“Yeah, that was wild. I was terrible though.”

“What? You were great.” Olivia flips herself over on her stomach and scoots closer to rest her chin on his shoulder. “Couldn’t have asked for a better first time.”

“Ollie...”

“Haz, I miss us...” Olivia lazily drags herself on top of Harry, sighing contently. Harry laughs but immediately sits up, forcing his disappointed friend to do the same.

“We’re here now.”

“You know what I mean,” she whispers, fingers reaching out to fist Harry’s shirt. Harry may not be sober, but he knows her intention. Instantly, he grabs both of her hands to stop her before she goes too far. He knows she’s now too hammered to control her own actions, so he doesn’t blame her for doing this.

“Ollie, I’m sorry...I can’t,” he says with sincere in his eyes, which she’s too wasted to see. 

“Of course you can. Remember what you said? About how good I tasted? About how good I felt...”

“Ollie, no. I’ve got a girlfriend.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

Harry’s whole body stiffens all at once. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Harry, if you meant that much to her, she wouldn’t lie. And if she meant that much to you, you wouldn’t turn to me for comfort.”

Olivia struggles to keep her eyes open, but for these drunken words of hers, Harry has to eat his heart out. 

He wastes no time to gather his stuff and leaves his friend’s hotel room, despite the heartbroken look she gives him when he heads to the door. He’ll talk to her tomorrow when she’s sober. Harry’s not sure if they can still be friends after tonight, maybe not, but that he can deal with later, if he loses Y/N tonight, he doesn’t know if he’s able to cope. As a result, he risks his own life driving back to their shared flat, hoping his girlfriend will be there when he arrives.

“Y/N, I’m-” Harry’s sentence is cut short when he opens the door and sees Y/N standing in the middle of their flat with tears in her eyes, his phone in her hand. It’s completely slipped from his mind that he left his phone at home when he walked out.

“Baby, why’re you crying?”

“Don’t tell me you were just with her...” she says bitterly while holding up Harry’s phone. “Olivia, huh? Did you enjoy fucking her?”

“I-What? No! Nothing happened. Did you really go through my texts?”

“No, her messages popped up on the screen, asshole! You fucking went to see another girl at a hotel!”

“Because this girl is my friend and that’s where she’s staying?”

“Why didn’t you tell me that you’d been seeing her again?”

“I did, but you weren’t listening!” Harry wants to shout but he remembers why he came back. Still, she’s clearly in no position to tell him he’s the one at fault. “Why are you here accusing me of lying when you haven’t been honest yourself? Don’t fucking tell me you were busy with your stupid club because I know it’s bullshit.”

“You want to know the truth?” Y/N tosses the phone onto the sofa as breathes out a laugh, which is anything but humor. “When you were out having fun with your Olivia, I was busy taking care of my sister’s baby so she could finish her late night shift. Yes I haven’t come to one club meeting lately, because I’ve been spending most of my time trying to convince my oldest brother to financially support my sister.”

Harry’s tongue-tied for almost three seconds, utterly shocked at the news. “Your sister?”

“Yes...” Y/N squeezes her eyes shut and exhales deeply. “She came back a few days ago.” 

“Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“I promised her not to tell anyone, even you, but I guess I cannot hide any longer...” Y/N shakes her head as the lump in her throat becomes too hard to handle. 

This is the second time Harry sees her cry. The first time being on his birthday when she threw him a surprise party and invited all of his friends over, only to hear him accidentally talk shit about her to another girl. This time, she’s also crying because of him, and a different girl. This gets Harry thinking twice about the kind of person he really is.

“I didn’t know, Y/N...You shut me out.”

“That was my fault. I apologize...But...but you could’ve just interrupt me any time and told me how you felt, Harry. You didn’t even try to communicate.”

“You weren’t even listening when I told you about Olivia!”

“So you went to see your ex to get back at me, is that it?”

“She’s not my ex.”

“She took your first kiss, and virginity! You knew how your relationship with her made me feel, but you went to see her anyway! If you wanted to hurt me, congratulations! It worked!”

Harry’s head hangs low. He hates to admit it because he doesn’t want to accept he’s a terrible person for wanting to make Y/N jealous at first. However, he genuinely didn’t know about Olivia’s intentions or even consider cheating on Y/N. The last thing he wanted was to put her in any kind of pain, yet somehow ended up doing it still.

“Hurting me just because I hurt you is not how a relationship works, Harry.”

Harry feels his heart stop completely when he hears her saying those words.

“A-Are you breaking up with me?”

“I don’t know...”

He doesn’t know what it’s like for her, but for him, that answer is no different from a ‘yes’.

“Can we...” Y/N swallows while her eyes are glued to her feet, unable to hold his eye contact, not even for just a second. “Can we talk in the morning when we’re both thinking straight?”

“Of course, baby...Take all the time you need, just..” Harry knows he sounds desperate, but he doesn’t care.

“Just please don’t leave me.”

Y/N doesn’t reply. Just like that, she turns her heels and walks back to her room. Harry’s once again left alone in the living room, feeling empty, not knowing what to expect when he wakes up, or if she’s still here then. 

He has always hated surprises, and maybe, this, will be the worst.

[redwoodrroad]

more fun oc stuff, featuring eridunis and his dad!

as well as sleepy mumblings about logan thackeray and little thoughts about his life and what he's about. it's all under the cut, and i kept out major plot things--there are a couple of major like life-altering things in heart of thorns and path of fire, so i'll vaguely reference them, and if you've played those campaigns, you'll know what im talking about, and if you haven't played it, i'll never tell ;)

youu aare my daaad--you're my dad! boogie woogie woogie!

alright so starting from when eridunis started growing up in the orphanage, logan's brother, Dylan, was the captain of the seraph, right, it's canon that he's been captain of the seraph since logan was a Youth; eridunis has most of his interactions with dylan throughout his younger life. this is kind of where..... im not quite sure about the full extent of logan's and dylan's contempt for each other? we know that dylan sees logan as.... sort of childish, dishonorable--especially since logan becomes a mercenary as a young adult (we're also not completely sure how old these guys are, so bear with me, i have thoughts about that)--and logan doesn't really have any respect for dylan either because he thinks being a queen's guard is like. snobbish? that's a pretty easy way to put it. and it feels like the age difference is really rough--if logan is a kid by the time dylan becomes a seraph, and even if we assume that dylan was reasonably young when he became a seraph--let's say 18-20, pretty standard--logan was probably somewhere around 10-12 years old, "young boy" age as he's described on the wiki. so 8-10 years is really tough on sibling dynamics, and we can't even be sure how these guys were raised because we also dont know a dang thing about their parents but it’s fine

with that in mind..... i still wanna give them the benefit of the doubt and say that once logan becomes a mercenary, they have the type of relationship where they still talk, and maybe logan comes back to divinitys reach and pays him a visit if only for sake of Trying to be like a family. they're still (human) BROTHERS, you know; if nothing else, they were probably raised to be social with each other SO i imagine that logan comes back sometimes and walks around with dylan and they idly argue about their morals

dylan, of course, keeps an eye on the salma district because these fun little orphan kids mess around and pull pranks on rich assholes who dont seem to have any patience for kids with no parents. eridunis is among those funny kids, and once he's maybe around 7-8, he starts running around the salma district and causing problems along with quinn and later riot alice (like in their teenage years more-so), and he's one that dylan really keeps a Close eye on. dylan tells logan about his issues with some of the young kids at the orphanage, and logan probably tells him off about it, like "you should care more about why those kids are acting out; you just see them as delinquents" etc; and ok back on track, eridunis meets logan when dylan takes logan to the orphanage one time, and eridunis is Obviously among the youngest there--even quinn and alice are at least a year older than him, and he's also pretty small, and he has that big mop of red curly hair, and logan is like "oh..... this kid does not deserve this life, none of them do"

so when logan comes back more often, he probably spends more time getting to know the orphans than he spends time with dylan, and they're both sort of okay with that. ofc logan has that moment of family panic when he's called back to defend jennah, and dylan dies, and he takes his place as seraph captain. so this is 1320 AE at this point: eridunis is 15, and i sort of like to imagine that logan at least fifteen years older than him, so i feel like it's pretty accurate to say he's about 30 by then.

alright this is getting friggen long enough, and i havent even really gotten to eridunis yet--eridunis really gets to know logan in those five years, and logan realizes that his earlier feelings of heartwrench for the kid may. have been misplaced. because this kid is annoying and doesnt seem to be taking logan or any seraph seriously, but logan also doesnt want to ?? arrest him??? he's a KID; he'd rather let eridunis get away with petty, silly crimes that really only disturb the peace more than anything else, because eridunis is honest enough to give logan any money he's stolen (if he's caught), it's just that he's not. learning from it lol eridunis.... around that time.... starts fooling around with quinn (and later, alice, experimentally) a little, and uh. it's not great? it's really just kids experimenting, but let me just say that he really regrets doing those very adult things so young--he's glad, at least, that he did them with people he trusts; he would have a lot more regret if he was sleeping around at that age. im sure logan catches eridunis getting frisky with quinn in an alley around 16 / 17, and he sits eridunis down in his office and is like "look, i know it's not completely appropriate for me to give you this kind of talk, im not your father, but everyone deserves to have a talk like this" and eridunis is like

"oh no"

so logan tells him all about how he matters and he wants eridunis to make good choices, all that good stuff; eridunis is >:( but he also sort of appreciates it.... he appreciates it more later, when he's older, and it's probably what holds him back from going all out as a horny youth.

i think he and logan bond more over stories logan tells about his mercenary work, and he tells eridunis about destiny's edge--albeit with some remorse, details held back, for the loss of glint and snaff and also the respect of his companions. eridunis is totally starting to look up to logan by this point, so he's like "screw all of them!! you did what you had to do!!" and logan is like "woah i mean i appreciate that, but.... eh you're probably right, rytlock was being real nasty to me so forget him" and eridunis is like "yeah, fuck him!!" and logan is like "NO--language, eridunis!"

once eridunis hits 20, we come to the personal story--eridunis is still incredibly young, but he's honing his necromancy skills (skills he started messing with when he was much younger, but he's never had a real weapon until now), and he becomes !! the hero of shaemoor! but of course he fucks up again, and this is also where i drift away from the canon a little, because i imagine that he doesn't talk to logan immediately, he goes back to the salma district to chill out, you know, steal some wallets--and he's immediately caught by the seraph Again, and this time, like i said in the other post i made about this, logan is like "i can either arrest you and put you in jail because ministers are mad, OR you can help me out with gang violence, and i can try to give you a job with the seraph."

and then we move through the personal story, and at each turn, eridunis is updating logan and excitedly telling him about his adventures. eridunis also takes plenty of opportunities to complain to logan about his new traveling partner, this agonizing magister who's snobbish and self concerned and maybe just a Little pretty--needless to say, eridunis comes back to logan's office all bashful like "youll never believe this.... i have a boyfriend. and it's arkus" and logan is instantly like "YOU CAME TO ME EVERY CHANCE YOU COULD GET TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS PERSON, AND NOW YOURE JUST HEAD OVER HEELS HUH" and eridunis yells back "YEAH WELL IM WEAK AND SHUT UP" but it’s all good haha

ofc eridunis helps logan fix his relationship with rytlock and the other destinys edge people, and theres just a lot of very positive father-son type things in general

and once we hit... heart of thorns......... eridunis is so worried about logan, and it adds a Lot onto his stress among.... other things. which i'll save for another post. anyway, by the time he sees logan again, logan is injured, and eridunis's fear for logan's life isn't really getting any better, but as he heals through season 3, eridunis is visiting him, writing to him, and he's so relieved when logan does heal up just fine.

once we hit path of fire, the opposite happens, and logan has a terrifying moment where he has to imagine a world without someone he really truly sees as his son, and i just imagine logan collapsing at his desk, and when taimi or canach likely contact him again with the news, he's so relieved that he just. breaks down. it’s a bad time, but it could have been way worse forever. eridunis takes some time to heal himself, and logan visits him a couple times, so thankful that he's okay

last thing i wanna say is with respect to the most recent chapter, all or nothing--eridunis is incredibly distraught as a result, and there's a moment where eridunis has to just hide from everyone in his tent, and arkus tries to take care of him, but eridunis eventually asks him to get logan, he just needs extra support from the only parental figure he's ever had. so arkus brings logan to the tent, and eridunis just..... leans against logan for a long time, cries a lot, arkus rubs his back and all that, and eventually, once eridunis calms down, logan gets to tell eridunis how much he cares about him, how he sees eridunis as a son, how he's always had an incredible amount of respect for eridunis, and okay it's very sweet but it's really making eridunis want to cry AGAIN because he sort of feels like he doesn't even deserve that respect for the mistakes he's made, but that's just how it be on this bitch of an earth, eridunis! you have a dad now, and he loves you! it means a lot for eridunis, who soon passes out and leaves arkus to chat with logan about how cool it was for logan to say all that, knowing eridunis looks up to him, and they take a moment to reminisce as father-in-law and gnc-son-in-law about the adventures so far

that's about all i have! i might go into more detail about specific moments within chapters, but this is long enough and i wanted to get it out there because im proud of the thought ive put into these boys already. i hope you enjoyed!

bonus pics!

[utopiannamjoon]

Ephemeral, Part 4

Words: 5,5k

Warning: There is a scene (very end of the story)of sexual nature that might be uncomfortable for some readers. It isn’t aggressive but I thought I’d point it out. Also swearing cuz im a foul mouth.

Genre: Fluff, angst, smut

Pairing: Jimin x reader, Namjoon x reader

A/n: I’m so sorry for the long wait. Tell me your thoughts by commenting or inboxing me, I will answer. Please like, and/or reblog. It helps me keep motivated to continue this series. I feel like I should add that this chapter doesn’t have smut in it since all of the previous ones did.

+please comment and give me your thoughts. Ya boi needs validation

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

Masterlist

“I love you.”

His words echoed in the room ricocheting from every surface. It took you a long second to register them in your mind. You already had mixed feelings about Jimin but this just shook the margarita of feelings up into a mess. “Wh- WHAT?!” You spluttered, pushing him off you, “You say that to your other lays too?!”

His mouth dropped and eyes squinted, looking at you confused. You took the blanket laying on the back of the couch and held it in front of your body, frantically searching for your underwear. He followed your lead and put a pillow on his lap, his face was full on question mark.

“My lays?” he raised his voice, “Is that what you think of me? That I fuck around?” His eyebrows furrowed, he was offended. He started looking for his boxers and pants.

“Yes. No - I don’t fucking know!” you shrieked. Jimin pulled on his pants and tightened his belt when it clicked in his head, “Is that why you acted so cold towards me when I ran into you with Jiwoo? You think you mean nothing to me?! You’re the first one I’ve had sex with in years!” his voice grew louder on every word, “I can count the times I had sex with my wife with my one hand, and those times weren’t that great.” You groaned out of frustration not knowing what to answer.

“I won’t lie to you Y/n. I have tried with other women but I couldn’t fuck them - but they were a year before I met you,” He rambled and stuttered, looking at his hands, “I only have sex when I’m in love.” Jimin fiddled his thumbs, avoiding eye contact with you. The poor man was embarrassed to tell you his secret.

“God, Jimin!” you yelled into your hands, “You can’t say that! I’m married, you’re married!” The infatuation you felt for him scared you more than anything. It couldn’t work, you can’t just divorce Namjoon. You wish it was that simple but there are a lot more to it.

“You think I don’t know that?!” he yelled, being as frustrated as you were. Jimin sighed and took a step closer to you, reaching his hands to cup your face. “I do love you and I’m not sorry for saying it. I know at some point I want to be married to you, not to Jiwoo. I know sometime in the future I want to have children, and you already know who with,” he confessed while stroking your cheek, “But judging from your reaction you don’t want the same.” He released your face and let out a heartbreaking exhale.

Jimin picked his shirt and gave you a final agonizing smile before walking towards the front door. You couldn’t move, you stared until his back disappeared from your line of sight and heard the front door open and close.

Namjoon reached Seokjin’s office, in the tallest skyscraper of the city. The elevator took him to the lavish top floor, or how Seokjin liked to call it: “... Seokjin’s department. Thank you Namjoon for coming in so soon,” the big boss welcomed him in his office with hand gestures, “Please have a seat.” Namjoon sat down across Seokjin and offering him the signed contract.

“Thank you, Namjoon, but the conditions of the contract has changed,” Seokjin eyed the paper in his hands.  “I spoke to Mr. Park and we’ve come to a different conclusion about this. The percentages have changed drastically,” the extravagantly dressed man said with a glint of money in his eyes.

Namjoon furrowed his eyebrows. He just talked to Jimin twenty minutes ago. How did his mind change so fast? Jimin was beyond excited to sign it. Namjoon would do anything to keep this deal, that’s how much weight it had for him.

“I don’t understand, Jimin just signed this contract,” he pointed at the precious paper in Seokjin’s hand, trying not to lose his cool. Namjoon’s hands formed into fists, nails nearly digging into his own skin.

“Oh you see,” Seokjin crossed his arms, “I spoke to the owner of Park Inc Mr. Yoonwoo Park about it.” Namjoon nodded. Yoonwoo Park? Jimin wasn’t the owner and founder? He was certain Jimin was the owner. Who was this other guy?

“Okay, so what’re the new percentages?” Namjoon pried further. His interest was lit up, this took a new turn. He needed to be on the top of everything.

“50% for me,” Seokjin explained, but Namjoon rolled his eyes. Of course Seokjin would get half. “35% for Park Inc. and 15% for you.”

“That is unacceptable! You can’t cut 10% from me without my consent after the contract is already signed,” Namjoon stood up furiously almost slamming his fist on Seokjin’s desk. That 10% meant millions of loss to Namjoon, and losing that was in the way of his progress. Seokjin calmly raised his finger ordering Namjoon to shut up, “That is unless,” Seokjin waited for Namjoon to sit back down which he did humbly after Seokjin stared at him sternly, “Park Inc. refuses the offer. In that case their share would become yours. Making you co- owners with that 50% with me. I’ve done calculations and we wouldn’t take any damage if they don’t sign. However you have to discuss this with Jimin since how I understand, he is the one responsible for the contract,” Seokjin walked over to Namjoon’s chair, “I’ll be waiting for both of your answers.” Namjoon shook his hand and something sinister set off in his eyes, the glint in them making anyone on his path uneasy.

Namjoon sped through red lights, taking sharp corners. Thankfully it was late and only few people were out. He parked his car next to a fire post and took long steps. Namjoon walked in the building, staff immediately bowing to him and making way.

He stood tall as he stepped through the waiting room, the secretary saying nothing but bowing as Namjoon opened the door to the blonde man’s office. The scary thing about Namjoon was that he was extremely well known in the business world and nobody played around with him, he had money and influence over everything. The only person above him was Seokjin.

“Oh Mr. Kim, what a nice surprise,” Jimin stood up to bow, “I didn’t know you are coming.” Namjoon didn’t bow back, he just nodded. Jimin brushed off his unrespectful manners. He was on a mission and being polite to the shorter man wouldn’t affect him in anyway.  “Mr. Park - Jimin, if I may,” Namjoon started, Jimin nodded approving to be in first name basis with the older man, “I don’t know if you’ve heard but the conditions of the contract have changed.” Namjoon sat down on the leather chair across Jimin and crossed his legs. “What? But it’s already been signed,” Jimin cocked his head puzzled. He leaned closer to Namjoon, “How did it change?”

“Actually the new deal is favorable for you,” Namjoon explained calmly, as if he didn’t have vested interest, “but I don’t think that’s important right now.” Jimin’s head still remained tilted, and with a hand movement he urged Namjoon to continue.  “A little birdie told me that you don’t own Park inc., but Mr. Park Yoonwoo does,” Namjoon smirked eerily as Jimin’s smile fell. “It took me a moment before it clicked, Park Yoonwoo is Jiwoo’s father. It was just a lucky coincidence that you shared a surname.”

“And why does that matter?” Jimin asked, not understanding what’s happening, whatever the other insinuated can’t be good based on the look on his face. Namjoon let out a chuckle, “I want you to drop the contract.”

Jimin just scoffed at Namjoon but his devious expression didn’t change. “That’s absolutely outrageous! You cannot be serious,” Jimin’s voice raised a little but he didn’t want to show his temper getting better of him. “Is it now Jimin?” Namjoon leaned closer and he breath out, “I know you’ve been fucking my wife.”

“How could you suggest such a thing?” Jimin kept his calm but his heart dropped to his stomach. How did he know? Jimin had nightmares of this happening but he thought in reality it wouldn’t. This was a situation he couldn’t have prepared for. Namjoon eyed the shorter man’s movements and expressions. Jimin’s chest heaved and his eyes moved more hastily from nervousness.

“You play me as a fool,” Namjoon chuckled deeply from his chest. Within a second his face got serious and he leaned even closer to the blonde man, “I live in a mansion that costs millions. You think I wouldn’t install security cameras? Besides her ass print was on my car from the fun you two had. At the gathering with Seokjin, you entered the bathroom with her and came out with your shirt improperly tucked back, and I know you wouldn’t come out like that unless you had something on your mind, you’re a clean guy. I’m convinced and you can’t tell me otherwise.” Namjoon’s tone was mocking, the tone alone was calling Jimin an idiot, “I’ve never seen her happier when receiving a message. So thanks to you she doesn’t mope around anymore.”

“Okay fine, let’s say that I have. Why do you care? You don’t love her. She is just a pawn to you, to use in your games.” Jimin’s patience was running a bit thin. He didn’t see a point in denying what Namjoon was accusing him of, and quite frankly he wasn’t ashamed or regretful of it. But being confronted by him, accusing him of something he wasn’t ready to share yet made him anxious.

“From what I remember that Park Yoonwoo is a bit of a hardass. Didn’t his forceful ways make you marry Jiwoo? So if you don’t get this deal he is probably going to fire you,” Namjoon tapped a finger on his chin, “Nay. There is two choices but either way you’re going to lose your current position, which will be morbid nonetheless. You’re going to be heavily demoted or he is going to fire you.”

“What does any of that have to do with the deal? Why do you want it so much? What’s it to you? I worked hard for this position, I’m not going to let you take it away, ” Jimin told him sternly, laying his fist on the desk. “I call bullshit on that Jimin. You courted Jiwoo and that’s how you got your job, you’re a real romantic and her father loves it. And I really do think it’s going to happen, you see,” Namjoon pressed his hands together, moving them in sync with his words, “If you don’t drop it, I’ll tell Park Yoonwoo about your affair with my wife. Him being a traditional man, not allowing you to embarrass his family, will have you divorced and consequently losing your job. As for Jiwoo, I know she doesn’t care. She sleeps around plenty,” Namjoon winked when he said the last sentence. Jimin quickly shook his mind off of his wife and Namjoon getting at it.

“You can’t do that. You’re forcing me out of my job and dragging Y/n with me! Her social status would plummet to the ground!” Jimin stood up slamming both of his hands on the desk. Namjoon smirked, that’s what he wanted to hear. Jimin mentioned you, he was deeply involved despite the heartache he went through, though Namjoon didn’t know that. He needed to be sure about his feelings, “Do you care about her?”

Jimin sighed. What’s the point of lying anymore even though his heart felt agonizing pain. Namjoon had him trapped, he didn’t know what to say, so he sticked with the truth which might hurt him later but he doesn’t care. Jimin just nodded, his face being sincere. He didn’t feel like he had to say anything. The reality took over him as your husband opposed him.

This took a surprising turn for Namjoon, he knew you fucked but didn’t know emotions were involved from Jimin’s part. However he was willing to do everything to get the deal, the contract would shoot his company to the top.

“You have few options here Jimmy boy. Break the contract and deal with the consequences from Yoonwoo. Whether you get demoted or fired, I don’t care. The company will get back on its feet in no time. Or let me do it for you by blabbing my mouth and telling on you and my wife. From my standpoint you have two choices. Choose wisely,” Namjoon adviced with a corrupt gaze, “Do you want have a job in the first place? You’re just going to get demoted. If you let me do it for you, you’re going to get divorced AND fired,” Namjoon stated smugly, enjoying Jimin’s battle inside his head.

“You would drag her down with me? Do you have no care for her at all?” Jimin spat, disgusted by the other’s attitude. Even in this situation you were on his mind. Surely he must’ve felt something for you, there’s a reason you are married. You were his wife, how could he treat you like this?

“Listen here lover boy,” Namjoon stood up, leaning his hands on the desk, towering over Jimin, “I don’t give a shit. Hell I’ll even file a divorce over this if you’re so obsessed with her. I want this deal all for me, I need you to get out of it,” his voice got lower and more intimidating as he ordered the younger man what to do. The hellish undertones in Namjoon’s voice send shivers down the blonde man’s spine. Jimin stared in silence, eyes growing wider in disbelieve as the maniacal man in front of him spoke.

“Two weeks,” Namjoon said, opening the office door. He turned around to give a final look at Jimin’s frozen state, “You better have done your decision by then. I’m sure you’ll make the right call. Would be sad to harm that pretty little face of yours.”

Anytime a notification popped on your phone your heart jumped but quickly fell again, you checked it with a frown, it wasn’t him. Jimin hasn’t been answering your texts. You knew it’s because you let him leave without a word. You regretted that, it was a mistake. But you still needed to talk to him, to tell him you loved him too. Namjoon didn’t see you smile again, you held your head low and he saw your hopes slowly crashing down. He knew it was his doings and he didn’t regret it, but he didn’t enjoy your sadness since it brought the whole mood down. It wasn’t pleasant for him to live in a house of depression. It got in his way of work, he already got used to you being happy, even bringing him coffee, and pastries when he was trapped in his office for hours. More than anything he was just annoyed by your blue mood.

“Are you sure you really want to continue eating that? I think you’ve stuffed your face enough.”

Namjoon entered the room with a newspaper in his hand and a scotch in the other. You’ve been shoveling ice cream at an alarming rate for few evenings while watching tv-dramas. You looked at yourself, pajamas with ice scream stains and crumbs all over. Soda cans and empty ice cream packages on the coffee table in front of you. Saying nothing, you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand and set bowl of ice cream on the table. Namjoon sat on the lounge chair, crossing his legs he peeked over his glasses looking at you. He sighed and shook his head disapproving your habits of leaving trash everywhere. His comment made you self conscious about your eating but other than that you didn’t mind him, you didn’t care. You continued to watch your tv-shows while he read the newspaper near you. For a moment you felt like it was domestic, something that a couple, a family did. You felt warm inside. You didn’t even notice when the smallest of smiles took over your lips, but he saw. From the corner of his eye he watched as your face turned positive, something that he had missed. He didn’t want to go back to living like you two did for few years.

You snuggled the warm blanket, your eyes slowly closing, drifting you to sleep. Namjoon took the controller from your hand and turned the tv off. He gathered the junk you left on the coffee table and took them to the trash. He took his time to look at your sleeping state. He put his left arm under your legs and his right arm behind your shoulders and picked you up. Your head laid on his chest when he carried you to bed. With little to no effort Namjoon walked up the stairs with you in his arms. Your head came in contact with your soft pillow, and Namjoon pulled the blanket over you. He turned off the lights and closed the door, still looking at your peaceful slumber.

Bright sunlight attacked your eyes waking you up. Groaning, you stretched your arms and looked at your surroundings. You were quite confused because you fell asleep on the couch, not on your bed. A thought of Namjoon carrying you to bed instead of just leaving you in living room, made butterflies appear in your stomach, a feeling you’ve recently only felt with Jimin. It was a small act of kindness from Namjoon but it made you happy. He still cared though your marriage had been plummeting for many many months.

You threw on some sweatpants and a t-shirt before leaving the room. You walked towards the stairs but noticed his office door open. You peeked in to see him slumped on his desk, sleeping. It made you sad that he did this to himself. You’d rather have him sleeping in a bed next to you than on his chair leaning on his desk.

You got closer to him and sweeped hair off his face, though he was sleeping he looked tired. You fetched a quilt from your bedroom and came to wrap it around him. In his sleep he pulled the quilt closer to him, snuggling into it. You piled the folders that had been thrown on the flood and placed them on the desk. You took his coffee mug and went downstairs.

You made coffee and cooked bacon, and eggs. You shared the food on two plates and poured coffee in your mugs. You placed the dishes on the kitchen island. You stabbed the egg with your fork breaking the egg yolk, oozing on the plate and over the bacon.

Namjoon woke up with a sore neck, cursing at himself for falling asleep. He looked at the quilt on his shoulders before taking it off and laying it on the back of his chair. His nose took him to the kitchen where you were leaning your elbow on the counter and playing with your food. His attention got caught on the plate and the full coffee mug across you. His dimple deepened when he realized you made some for him too.

“Morning,” he said in a deep, raspy voice.

“Good morning,” you lowered the coffee mug from your lips, “I made breakfast.” You pointed at his plate and he smiled at you. You almost thought it was sincere, one of those smiles he used to share with you, and only you. It almost made you blush, it reminded you of just getting to know each other, and the huge crush you had on him. He was such a sweet guy, you wonder what happened to you two.

“Thank you but you shouldn’t have,” he said trying to be modest as he took a fork and dug in.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” you scoffed at him, “I wanted to make you some.” Which you did, as a thank you for being so kind to you. It was very rare of Namjoon so maybe it was a turning point in your relationship and you didn’t want to mess it up. He smiled with cheeks full of bacon at your words.

Namjoon took a gulp of his coffee, “Oh! I almost forgot to tell you. I was invited to a dinner by a potential customer and I hoped you would join me. It’s not a business meeting per se, but I was invited so… I have to go.” What surprised you most was his words. He wasn’t ordering you but asking you. Hoping that you’d go with him.

“Of course,” you said a little too excited for your own taste, “I’d be happy to accompany you.” You knew that the men who had dinners without their wives were frowned upon. Women were accessories in this business, that’s a fact you’ve known since you were still in diapers. But honestly if this helped you mend your relationship you’re all aboard. You didn’t want to live with a man who didn’t even like you so you wanted to take advantage of his mood.

“Fantastic,” he looked at you with big eyes and raised eyebrows. He was thanking the lord in his mind, he knew you hated joining him but he had to take the chance and ask you.

“When is it?”

“Today.”

“Today?!” you repeated his words. It’s not that you had any plans but you were thinking about how you’ve been shoving your mouth with garbage for a week now. Did you even fit your dresses? Not that you’ve gained that much weight but it sure must’ve bloated your stomach and face. You groaned to yourself already thinking about the inside of your closet and what you owned.

“Why are you so shocked?” he questioned you. It wasn’t the first time he has given you a short notice.

“I don’t think I can fit my dresses,” you whimpered and rested your face in your hands. He almost laughed at your cute reaction but held it together. He sighed understanding your pain, he could see your thought process and the insecurities.

“I know you’ve not followed your diet that much.. but you still look perfect. You haven’t gained weight,” he claimed with a soft voice.

You just sighed into your hands right before he grabbed your wrists and pulled them away from your face, “Listen I’ll take you shopping. Let’s get you a new dress so you don’t have to worry about your old ones. How about that?”

You coyly nodded at his suggestion, looking everywhere but his eyes. It took you by surprise how you felt shy in front of him after so long. He chuckled at your adorable expression, “C’mon we don’t have all day to waste.”

Dress shopping went better than you could’ve ever imagined. You actually had fun. Namjoon had all of his focus on you, something that was uncommon so you bathed in the attention as much as you could now that you finally had it. He made jokes and even cringy puns that made you laugh nevertheless. Namjoon lead you to an elegant store filled with expensive clothing, too expensive for your taste. You knew you didn’t have to worry about money but this was too much. He saw a blue dress on a mannequin, pointed at it and told you to try it. A staff member went to fetch you the dress. You tried it on, it was perfect. Your husband did have a good, but a pricey taste after all. The dress hugged your curves, and the hem soared in the air as you twirled around to show Namjoon. Dimples deeper than the ocean, eyes disappearing with his beautiful smile. He read your expression and said to the staff member that you’ll take it. You didn’t even change back from the dress but kept it on.

You just had enough time to go back home, fix your hair and make-up before leaving to the dinner party. Namjoon’s head bopped in sync with the music from the radio, and tapped his thumb on the steering wheel on the beat. Namjoon walked around the car to open the door for you and he offered his arm for you. You grabbed his bicep and he lead you towards the door. The house was less than half of the size of yours but still normal, everyday folk couldn’t afford it in their lifetime. The house looked cozy, warm, and inviting, the complete opposite of yours. Your house was gloomy, with dark walls, dark furniture, and dim lighting reflecting your husbands true personality. A friendly looking man, pushing 70’s came to the door. Namjoon introduced you two and the small talk started. You zoned out few times but were snapped back in whenever your name was mentioned, “My wife is in the kitchen if you want to get away from all this business talk,” the older man gave you a gentle smile, offering you a chance to escape the boringness. Namjoon unwrapped his arm from your waist and pressed his hand on your lower back giving you a slight push and a nod.

The delicious scent flying through the air lead you to the right place. “Oh goodness, you must be Y/n,” the woman grinned at you. She looked up and down at you, taking in your appearance. Her face was wrinkly, showing her laugh lines and life experience. She wasn’t one of those uptight wives you’ve grown to get used to. She was a sweet old lady, reminding you of Suzie’s grandmother. Humorous, down to earth, nurturing person. Someone who you aspired to be when you were old but unfortunately in this business she had to be one of a kind.

“You look beautiful. I remember when I was able to wear dresses like that,” she told you with a plaintive look. Before you could answer the pot started to boil over, making her gasp, “I guess the food is ready,” she laughed. You helped to set the table, setting the cutlery and the bowls on their spots. This must’ve been the weirdest business dinner you’ve been to by far. She brought the pot over and called everyone to dinner. The atmosphere felt domestic yet so unfamiliar to you. Something that you’ve only felt outside of your own family and husband, at the countryside with your best friend and her parents. This wasn’t one of those dinners where a wrong look could get you socially outcasted. It was so homely, you could be yourself. It was something you could only wish for.

Namjoon was still on his robotically polite behavior, something he grew up with, something he was accustomed to. It was him, he couldn’t change and it’s okay. You didn’t notice but the lady was watching you two, analyzing you to pieces.

After the dinner you took upon yourself to carry the dishes back to the kitchen, you laughed with the old lady as you helped her by her side. It was like you felt her gaze burning a hole in your temple. You turned around to face and you cocked your head. “You look like a lovely couple,” she simply pointed out. You nodded, “Thank y-” her hand movement cut you off.

“But you’re not meant to be together. I see it. You want someone else. Everytime you look at him you wish he’s replaced with that someone. You might act like you’re in love but you aren’t. The gazes you share are cold and deserted. I can’t tell you what to do but I can offer you my advice,” she let you know, “I was once in your place. My first marriage was stone cold, I thought I had to stay in it. But my now-husband swooped me off my feet and asked me to come along with him. I did and it was the best decision of my life. I don’t regret it for a second. I’d do it again and again if I had to,” she held onto your shoulder and looked deep in your eyes. She poured it all on you. You were speechless. She was absolutely right. She was once in your place and could see all of the signs. No one else could.

“Darling are you ready to go?” Namjoon called for you with a sugary tone. You looked at the older lady in confusion. Your mouth opened and closed few times but no words found their way out. Namjoon peeked his head in the kitchen, “Ready?” he asked you, holding his hand out for you to take it. Your heart felt empty but you took his hand, and thanked the sweet woman for everything.

The drive home was silent but not dense. Your eyes were set on the bright moon making its appearance in the dark blue sky while Namjoon talked about his conversation with the man. You gave him simple answers, not really listening what he said. As he pulled into the driveway you snapped back to reality, “He was pretty old why hasn’t he retired yet?”.

Turning off the car Namjoon looked at you and pondered for a minute, “I’m not sure. Maybe he likes it? He hasn’t overworked himself though. He has taken things slowly, putting his family first,” he nodded approving his answer, “But the wealth he has now, I had when I was 19,” he laughed. His last sentence stabbed you through the heart. You truly had different goals in life. Though you’ve always had money you didn’t find it important. You’d rather live modestly with people you loved and cared for, people who you would sacrifice everything for. But you live like money is the reason for life. Nothing else, nothing more.

Groaning, you kicked the painful high heels off your feet, and placed them in your walk in closet. Namjoon came in the room after you, unzipped your dress, and helped you take off, his eyes never leaving yours. You held his gaze, feeling your pulse getting faster and faster. You almost anticipated a kiss from him when his eyes travelled to your lips. Instead he just handed you the dress with a dimply smile. You thought nothing of it and set it on the rack before going to wash yourself up for bed.

Namjoon was already sleeping when you crashed next to him. You stretched your legs for a final time before closing your eyes. In slight sleep you felt an arm flung across your body, something that he sometimes did when he was sleeping, but this time was different. He pulled you closer, his other hand coming to grab your breast. Your eyes snapped open, and you froze. He brought the tent in his pants closer to your behind, beginning to rub himself on you. He brushed your hair behind your ear and whispered, “You like it don’t you?” He sounded so cocky and full off himself, it almost made you gag. “What the fuck Namjoon?!” You all but yelled at him. He had you in his grip but manage to you ripped yourself out of it, semi accidently kicking his leg while getting out of the bed. “The fuck do you think you’re doing?!” you threw your arms in the air, eyebrows almost meeting together from the frown you had. “You wanted to fuck didn’t you?” he said with a harsh tone, “You’ve been so nice to me, so obviously you wanted some.”

“WHAT!” you screeched, “You can’t be serious.” You shook your head in disbelief. “You were nice to me for the first time in YEARS. So obviously I’ll be kind to you too. I already hate living here so I tried to make my life less like hell! It’s bad enough to live with a man that doesn’t love me but to live with someone who is constantly rude to me is even worse!” Namjoon got out of the bed too, but he stood on the other side of the bed than you. He could’ve easily towered over you but decided to keep his distance this time. “I give you everything and you act like this? You’re such an ungrateful bitch!” He stood there for a minute before his realization, “It’s about love? How are you so naive?! Love has nothing to do with this, it never has.” he spat at you for no reason. You looked at him dumbfounded. What did he think? That wanting to fix the relationship between your husband was just a call for dicking down? “Unbelievable,” you stated. You had no words.

“You think he can give you want you want,” he mocked you in a deep voice, tone becoming more toxic as he spoke, “you’re the reason he is going to lose his job and money. You’re destroying his career and marriage, his future is going down the drain for you.” An ear-splitting sadistic grin found its place on his face. You’ve never seen your own husband this terrifying. Namjoon didn’t even have to say Jimin’s name, you immediately knew who he was talking about. Your face lost all color. What scared you the most wasn’t that he knew about your affair but that he took ruining Jimin’s life so lightly, he even smiled when just talking about his threats. “Who are you?” you whimpered, pulling on jeans and finding your phone. You hastily shoved your belongings in your pockets and ran downstairs You nearly slipped when he roared after you, “Go to your boy toy then, I don’t care! I gave him an ultimatum. He doesn’t love you, if he did he would’ve given me an answer already.”

With that you slammed the door shut, leaving the maniacs voice to echo alone.

A/n: Ideas, suggestions, requests, questions? Just inbox me!! Thank you so much for showing love to this series. It really motivates me to keep going

[amateuranxiety]

Ken Rants About “Vanishing World” for Probably Way Too Long

Good evening. My name is Ken, I am a dumb, overanalyzing nerd, and I have completely fallen for the narrative Vocaloid producer Grey (a.k.a. Monstrosity) has set up in the first two songs of her series, Vanishing World. I know only two out of the ten-ish-maybe? songs have been released so far, but I’ve been stewing on my thoughts for a while now and I felt that I absolutely needed to get them down somewhere. in this essay i will- I hope that people are able to see this and possibly be interested in checking the series out? I just feel like it deserves a lot more attention. I highly recommend listening to all the work on her channel. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrq2qxXTl7u-YKeSqIJ5xZA Now, without further ado, I give you my analysis. i feel like im giving myself too much credit for my hyperfocused ramblings lol

WARNING!

This writing discusses themes of mass death and other death related subject matter. If you are disturbed by these things, then please proceed with caution. Stay safe.

Basic Plot Summary

Vanishing World is the story of the end of the world, and the beasts who cause it. One beast for every element or force of nature or whatever. So far, they seem to choose a human to “cooperate” with in order the wreak their havoc on Earth. Human resistances rise up around the world, although not much information has been provided about them yet. Our story begins in the twenty-fifth day of the month of June, they year 2000.......

Part 1: Aberrant Garden 

Kaylee Tagetes was a young girl with a remarkable, and almost scary, gift for gardening. However, as she grew, she spiraled out of control. She began fusing plants with other forms of existence, creating a deadly army for the first destruction god, Carnation. where are your parents??? Also she had this weird flower with a face growing out of her head, but I don’t think it’s that relevant also it just scares me so I’m just gonna ignore it unless I think something up about it, ok? Ok.

An investigator dispatched to “the site of the anomaly (I’m assuming this is Kaylee’s house)” finds this information and more inside of a conveniently placed exposition note that was probably just lying on the ground I guess. 

Some important things I want to highlight in the note:

“However, as she grew older, she became... curious about something. Almost like a mysterious force was feeding her thoughts. What was this thing she was curious about, you ask? Simple!

...”By what means? That part... shall remain a mystery.”

“...and it was at that moment when she was poisoned by a spider monster. Acid flowed through her veins. She fell, passed out from blood loss. Probably dead.”

“‘My name is Carnation, the Monster of Flora. You shall hear more about me in the afterlife- your time is up.’“

“Into a giant maw she was dropped... no one ever saw her again as Kaylee Tagetes.”

What these things mean (probably):

Every beast is able to get into the mind of its host and pretty much possess them and lead them to do what they want.

Whoever wrote the note wants the process of monster creation to remain a mystery.

Probably dead. Probably.

use your real name, nerd the one you made up sounds stupid

She was eaten. Trapped within the monster’s stomach.

Our investigator pal jumps on the bandwagon with his own exposition!

“In the year 2100, the apocalypses rises, fear the chrome god monsters and their trapped traitor humans.” 

He goes on about how weird it is that Carnation woke up 100 years before the rest. Also that note was pretty strange too I guess. But the question is, who wrote it? Well, my friend, it seems obvious that it was written by a human being, so I propose the theory that Kaylee herself wrote the note. I’ll explain my reasoning soon enough, but for it to make any sense at all (even though it still probably won’t), I need to move on to.......

quick note: the more i think about this the more stupid it sounds for reasons ill get into in a moment, but im just gonna keep the Kaylee Note Theory here in case it somehow leads to me having some grand revelation about the true author.

 edit:upon further reflection it may be possible, but i still think there is plenty of room for error within my theory.

Part 2: Ulterior Spectacle

Our Earth was at peace. Finally. But they didn’t let it last.

Stephan Alexander, nineteen year old photographer and the second traitor human in our story. Using a device gifted to him by the Monster of Ice, Morzogo, he is able to freeze any landscape and turn any human being into stone with the click of a button. This device is the grand Tundra Lens. One of the worst birthdays I’ve ever heard of ngl. He goes around killing millions over a period of five months because of what Morzogo had told him.

“They don’t deserve to see the world as you do. They deserve to be a part of a picture, do they not? Make them go still so you may have the perfect picture. Travel the world and make them allll stiiiill, so they’ll be with you forever.”

To summarize the end of the story:

 girl’s voice snaps him out of trance was that a pun?

instant regret for literal mass murder

suicide via medusa method (mirror, click, bye bye)

Also, if you watch the lovely PV, you’ll notice that that girl that brought him back to reality is literally Kaylee Tagetes. A twelve year old killed a chaos god of mass destruction that ate her after she was poisoned and lost a lot of blood. This takes place maybe around the year 2032 and she still looks 12. h o w ? guess she’s dead now idk all the humans are gonna be ghosts and talk about their poor life decisions in the afterlife i guess

So yeah that’s basically my explanation for my whole Kaylee wrote the note thing.

Explaining my Kaylee Note Theory:

I think I figured out how she killed Carnation. The poison in her blood. Ingesting that could have killed him. I don’t know what it takes to kill an old one or whatever those things are, but maybe??????

The prophesy just states that the human traitor are trapped. Not dead, right? dont know about poor stephan tho oof. unless the possession automatically gives you op protagonist powers. they’re probably still dead tho

I don’t know what motivation she would have for leaving the note behind though.

Maybe she wrote it as a ghost-type-person-thing????? idk i feel like im reaching at this point ive been typing for over an hour now.

also im not sure where to fit this in but some characters talk about The Crisis which is where humans randomly turn into monsters????? idk its just been brought up once so far so i dont know what to think of it.

Alright. The last thing I want to talk about today is.......

Zone-B and Codename:NULL

We first meet Codename:NULL in the description of Battle: Xelzerin (that’s Carnation’s real name btw. i guess he’s a dork who doesn’t think his full name sounds cool like me). She’s receiving an email from another Zone-B member, Codename:GANYMEDE, who basically gives us some information about Xelzerin we didn’t already know. Including the fact that Xelzerin isn’t dead??? i should have re-read everything before i started typing this has just turned into one big semi-organized mess im so sorry 

anyway!! foreshadowing about the Earth and Electric beasts, NULL’s name is revealed to be Madeline in the description of Ulterior Spectacle, and apparently Stephan froze over 70% of the world in only five months. Probably a rich kid.

if i weren’t so tired and had more information about a story that’s barely half-way done, i feel like i would be much more thorough with my analysis and theories. i may type out a part 2 once song three drops. until then, ill wait patiently. maybe ill choke out a little theory if i have a sudden revelation but nothing on this scale. maybe ill be able to choke out a timeline as well. i can barely spell i should probably stop hope you enjoyed sorry it go so messy towards the end especially right here ily goodbye.

proofreading: barely im sorry

[kates-sweet-escape]

[WH] YOURS - The Series: Chapter One

pairing: Wonho X Reader (female)

genre: Angst / Suspense

word count: 4.8k

summary: It’s been two years since you’ve left everything behind. But a simple phone call brings you right back to everything you’ve been trying to forget

a/n: You are living with a fake identity. Whenever you read Y/F/N people call you by your fake first name.

cover: Made by me. 

Picture credit: Official Monsta X

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

chapter index: Prologue | 01 | 02 | 03

“You know that he’s looking at you again, right?”

You let out a long sigh and stopped playing with your food that you hadn’t really touched for the last five minutes. Instead, you focused on your only and therefore best friend Yoo Kihyun. He was sitting on the edge of your desk, cross-legged as if the whole twentieth floor belonged to him. Which was definitely not the case since his own office was located on the eighth floor. But your best friend had always been extremely self-confident. Or he just had a huge ego. Whatever one preferred.

“Ki - Just ignore him.”

“I can’t. He just keeps looking over to us. He might think he’s sneaky with looking down at his papers but he sure as hell isn’t. And his gaze is just…” Kihyun frowned, apparently at a loss for words, which was quite understandable, since the behavior of your boss was anything but professional. “Does he do that every day?”

You spared a glance towards the desk that was standing opposite yours. Changkyun’s secretary, Bae Soojeon, was talking to somebody on the phone, her fingers hammering down on the keyboard as she made full use of her headset. She seemed preoccupied. But you knew better than that. She was like your company’s very own tabloid. If she overheard anything that she considered juicy gossip, the whole company would know about it in no time. So you never talked about anything personal in front of that woman. And your relationship to your boss definitely was one of those things. So you didn’t say a word. But apparently staying silent was enough of an answer for Kihyun.

“Are you for real?” His eyes widened and he leaned down towards you, lowering his voice as he kept on talking. “God, how do you even get anything done with him looking at you like this?”

You shook your head in annoyance before putting the lid back onto your salad. So much for your peaceful lunch break.

“I ignore him and just do my job.” You already regretted telling Kihyun when you’d be having lunch and asking him to tag along. But unfortunately, you still didn’t really fancy eating alone. “And I’m gonna start ignoring you too if you don’t stop talking about our boss.” You shoved him back a little but Kihyun seemed completely unfazed by it and leaned in again, his nose now almost touching yours. You could already imagine all the chatter being spread by Soojeon because of this. It would take three days to be completely blown out of proportion. By tomorrow you’d be dating Kihyun. By Thursday you’d be pregnant. And by Friday you were probably planning on eloping.

God. You hated that sort of stuff.  

“Sorry, Y/F/N it’s just… It’s oddly distracting even for me.” Kihyun glanced towards the glass front of Changkyun’s office. Your boss was sitting at his desk, his eyes seemingly looking at the papers in his hand. But only a few seconds later he lifted his gaze and was looking at you again. When your eyes met, he smiled a little before refocusing on his work.

You immediately noticed the dark shadows under his eyes and that he was wearing the same suit he’d worn yesterday. Which meant he’d spent another night at the office. When you’d brought him his coffee this morning he’d seemed tired. But now - a few hours later - he looked completely exhausted.

Kihyun cleared his throat and shifted his attention back to you, a faint blush spreading on his cheeks. “Really, really distracting. And I am straight.”

You cocked up your eyebrow, pressing your lips together to avoid laughing. “Are you sure about that?”

“Bite me.” Kihyun scoffed before scooting in even closer. God, that guy really didn’t get the whole concept of personal space. Which was probably the reason why he even managed to become your friend just shortly after entering the company. He never got discouraged by your cold and aversive nature. He just kept on trying, ending your solitude with that sassy and slightly annoying nature of his.

“So,” You already knew trouble was headed your way when a sly smile tugged at the edge of Kihyun’s lips. “You never thought about hitting it off with him? It’s obvious that he is interested.”

Your eyes widened a little. “Ki, he’s my boss.”

“And it’s the 21st century.” Kihyun simply shrugged, as if dating a CEO wasn’t a big deal. “Nobody cares about stuff like that anymore.”

That was a big fat lie. And you both knew it. Because people would always care about ridiculous bullsh*t like that. So you shook your head no. Almost violently. You lowered your voice, practically whispering by now to avoid Soojeon listening in. “I don’t want people talking about me. Or him. So no. I’ve never thought about dating him. Also–” You hesitated, struggling to come up with a believable lie why Changkyun wasn’t dating material apart from him being your boss– “I don’t date guys my age.”

“I see.” Kihyun nodded, patting you on the shoulder in empathy. “So you were also raised in a conservative family then?”

For a second you were back in your teenage days, where you had to attend countless debutante balls and celebrations for arranged marriages. Where dating was forbidden and where having a “lower-class” boyfriend was considered a huge scandal. Funny how the darkest depths of Seoul’s underworld were so outdated. Other memories started to resurface like the taste of rain, the sound of muffled laughter and the warmth of a body pressed closely against yours. And your bodyguard’s loud screams of anger when he’d found you and … him … sneaking in through the backdoor in the middle of the night.

You cast those memories aside just as fast as they had surfaced. They were too painful. And since the second anniversary of that dreadful night was drawing close you weren’t strong enough to face any of them without breaking down in tears.

“Don’t even get me started.”

“Ms. Lee?” Kihyun almost jumped off your table when the deep and raspy voice of Changkyun was suddenly coming from the intercom. “I need your help.”

You pressed the little button and leaned in towards the speaker, lowering your voice to make it sound soft and calm. “I’ll be right there, Sir.”

You let go of the button and got up from your seat, straightening your dress and rearranging your jewelry. You tried to ignore Kihyun’s stare as best as you possibly could before throwing away your empty can of diet coke.

“Of course he does.” Kihyun sneered as he got up from the table. “God, he’s being painfully obvious.”

“Helping him is my job.” You said, suddenly feeling the need to defend your boss. “I am his personal assistant after all.”

Kihyun grinned and as he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively you already knew he was going to spout nonsense again. “I bet he wants you to assist him on an even more personal level.”

Your cheeks flushed with heat but you tried to play it cool by rolling your eyes and pushing Kihyun towards the elevator. “God - Get lost.”

Kihyun clutched his chest dramatically while slowly walking backwards. “You know, I don’t seem like it but I do have feelings.”

You laughed a little, your fingers already touching the cold metal of the doorknob. “I highly doubt that.” You flashed Kihyun one last smile and waved goodbye as he stepped into the elevator. “See you later, Ki.”

“See you later, Y/F/N.”

As soon as the doors of the elevator closed you opened the glass door to Changkyun’s office. It was still beyond you how one person needed such a large space just to himself, but apparently, that was some sort of CEO thing you’d never be able to understand.

“You called for me, CEO Im?”

“Yeah, I did.” Changkyun got up from his seat behind the desk that had been placed in front of the huge glass front that allowed a spectacular view over the bay. “Please, close the door behind you.”

You stepped into his office, the soft cotton white of the walls and the warm brown of the wooden floor immediately calmed you down. “What can I do for you, Sir?” You softly closed the door behind you, finally shutting out Soojeon’s voice who was still on the phone.

Changkyun’s face was stern and his lips, that often showcased a rather smug smile, were pressed together in a thin line. The dark circles under his eyes made his skin look even paler than it actually was. His slightly messy hair currently had a bluish-grey color which had cost him a fortune and countless of hours at the hairdresser but accentuated his dark eyes perfectly, making them look like they were pitch-black instead of dark brown. He looked a little bit older than you, but actually, the two of you were only a few months apart. But that was only natural, considering the stress he was under.

“I need your help.” Changkyun walked over towards you, unbuttoning his suit coat which had a rather classic cut. “Oh and, by the way–” Changkyun averted your eyes as he came closer, looking slightly displeased “-was that Yoo Kihyun from the marketing department? He visits you at your desk fairly often these days. Are you two a thing?”

You tried your hardest not to laugh. Kihyun was right. Changkyun really was being painfully obvious. “I thought you only needed my help, Sir.”

“The door is closed, Y/F/N.” Changkyun sounded a little annoyed and you tried your best to keep a straight face. “So drop the whole Sir bullsh*t and tell me honestly - are you two a thing?”

Honestly, this wasn’t even worth answering. But the way Changkyun looked at you let you know that your answer was meaningful to him. So you walked over to him, lifting your hands to rearrange his pocket square. You needed to keep yourself occupied with something as you started talking with that calm and unfazed voice of yours. “What are you gonna do if we are?”

“I don’t know.” Changkyun’s unique laugh filled the office but today it didn’t sound as cheerful as it usually did. “Maybe I should fire him. To lower the competition, you know?”

You stopped your little task and looked Changkyun straight in the eyes. Even though he wasn’t particularly tall only a few people dared to because of how rich and privileged he was as the very young CEO of a huge pharmaceutical company. But you had been raised to stare down people that were more powerful than him. And far more dangerous. So you weren’t afraid. “Don’t say stuff like that.”

“Why? You don’t like it? Does it make me look like an idiot?”

“Kind of. Because if you’re serious about this you’d be a bloody fool.” You straightened his jacket, tucking at it a little stronger than necessary. “Ever since he joined the company, sales have dramatically increased. And by the way - these days women don’t like guys who abuse their power just to flirt with somebody.” You smiled as you heard him gasp in fake shock. “But also, no. We aren’t dating. We’re just friends.” Changkyun’s sudden and bright smile was almost contagious but you didn’t allow yourself to join in. This was stupid. “Kihyun isn’t really my type.”

You took a step back and crossed your arms over your chest as you watched that smile of his widen a little further, showing off a set of perfectly white teeth.

“Then...” Changkyun’s tone became playful and flirty, something you’d gotten used to over the past two years and were easily able to handle. “What is your type?”

Not you.

Your mind suddenly went foggy with memories again. A bright smile. A contagious laugh. A soft whisper in your ear and the loving and gentle touch of rough and large hands. Strong arms to hold you close at night, hot skin and the faint smell of pine and blood.

You snapped out of it by shaking your head, casting away all these memories that seemed to just randomly resurface these days.

Whenever that happened, you were in agony. Because the pain, which never really went away, intensified again, occupying every inch of your body and making it hard for you to breathe.

It was ridiculous. You should have gotten over him by now. It had been two years for Christ’s sake. You should have moved on already, forgotten all about him. Yet you still remembered everything in vivid detail.

His voice. His smile. His kiss.

And it still hurt.

But you were getting better. Slowly but steadily you were getting over him, even though it hardly felt like it at the moment. But at least you weren’t losing sleep anymore simply because he wasn’t lying next to you. You weren’t waking up with tears streaming down your face because he’d visited you in your dreams. And you also stopped hesitating when you covered your own tattoos with make-up in the morning.

So you were getting better. Your wounds were steadily healing. And soon enough only the scars would remain. They’d hurt occasionally, but sooner or later you’d forget you even had them.

So maybe, just maybe, it was time to move on.

And perhaps Changkyun was the right guy for the job. Since he was the complete opposite of… him.

So why not risk it? Why not flirt a little with the guy that was so obviously interested in you? Because you really liked Changkyun. He was a playful and funny guy with surprisingly deep thoughts and a sense of responsibility that was uncommon for guys his age. And you got along great. Talking to him was never boring and you’d had countless dinners with him where you’d forgotten the time, staying with him at a crowded restaurant until it was almost empty because you were so engaged in a conversation.

So why not go for it, right?

You cleared your throat a little and tried your best to sound as flirty as you possibly could. “It’s a secret.”

Changkyun’s eyes widened in surprise and you already knew that this had been a very bad idea. “Was that?” He let out a deep laugh before he took a step closer to you. Had he always smelled of sea salt and sage? “Wait. Did you just try to flirt with me?”

You could feel your cheeks flush with heat as Changkyun was looking at you with that lopsided smirk that you knew made a lot of girls weak in the knees. God, you shouldn’t have tried being coy. You weren’t good at that. Which didn’t come as much of a surprise considering the fact that you’d been in a relationship ever since you’d turned fourteen. You only ever had to flirt with guys in order to get what you wanted for the Clan. And that had been a completely different thing.

“No, I wasn’t.” you quickly replied before turning your back on Changkyun and walking towards the huge conference table that barely fit into his already large office. The shiny mahogany surface was completely covered with all sorts of paperwork.

With just one look you could already tell that this was a complete mess that had gotten out of hand. You stepped a little closer and narrowed your eyes. You knew those papers. Quite well actually since it had taken you days to properly organize them.

“Are those the papers for the merger?”

Changkyun hesitated for a second. “Yeah.”

“Changkyun! For Christ's sake!” You raised your voice in anger. You had worked for two days and one night straight in order to get this done. “The merger is supposed to happen next week! How are you still not done with the paperwork?” You looked at Changkyun who avoided your gaze and just scratched the back of his head like a schoolboy who was being scolded by his teacher. “You were only supposed to take another look at them and then sign the goddamn contract! How the hell did you make such a mess?”

“Don’t be so mad at me.” Changkyun pouted a bit. But then his face suddenly became stern. Dark even. “There was something fishy about their numbers so I went through all of it again.” He looked you straight in the eyes and you could see the worry and determination in his. “I can’t afford to fuck this up.”

Yeah. You knew he couldn’t. This was Changkyun’s first big project ever since he’d taken over CODA Pharmaceuticals from his sick father three years ago. Everybody's eyes were on the young CEO who’d been in charge of one of the biggest companies in the country ever since the young age of twenty. Everybody expected him to mess this up and the sharks were already ready to rip him to shreds once they were able to smell even the faintest drop of blood in the water. And you knew exactly what that felt like. All those expectations. All those enemies surrounding you, waiting for you to make a mistake. You really felt for him, which was exactly why you couldn’t stay mad.

You let out a sigh, accepting your fate of at least one more night shift. You took off your blazer and put it over the back of one of the fifteen chairs that had been arranged around the large table. “Okay. What do you need me to do?”

Changkyun smiled brightly at you before he came closer again, his left hand settling on the chair right next to you while the other rested on top of the conference table, closing you in and causing your heart to beat a little faster when you felt his chest touching your back. “Help me find their last five tax declarations and their sale numbers from 2011 until now.”

You nodded before looking at the mess again. “You know that I would have been able to find them a lot faster if you didn’t go all crazy professor on this, right?” You reached out to loosely rearrange some of the documents. “This just screams overtime.”

“It’ll be faster if I just hel-”

“No. You stay away from this.” You glanced over your shoulder just to realize how close Changkyun actually was. “You know I think you’re a genius but you’re a mess when it comes to organizing. So let me do this and just focus on something else. Preferably something that doesn’t ruin two nights worth my work.”

Changkyun smiled softly, casting away some of the worry on his handsome face. “Thanks, Y/F/N. I owe you.”

“You can pay me back with a hefty raise.”

Changkyun’s gaze was shifting between your eyes and your lips and when he started speaking again his voice sounded a little lower than usual. “I was thinking about a nice dinner instead. Just the two of us. What do you say?”

Silence suddenly filled the room. You could hear Soojeon’s muffled voice from outside the office while the clock on the wall steadily kept ticking.

Your thoughts were a mess. Should you go out with him? Shouldn’t you? Were you ready? Weren’t you ready? Were you ever going to be ready? He probably had moved on a long time ago. Yet you still hesitated, not even daring to flirt back even a little bit whenever a guy had shown interest in you. So wasn’t it finally time? Maybe it would help you forget all about him. Even though you seriously doubted that you were ever able to do that. But you should at least try, right? You couldn’t live on with this constant pain in your chest. And there was also no way of ever going back. You’d lost him forever the night you’d walked out of the mansion. He was gone.

And it was time that you accepted that and moved on.

“I-” Your answer was cut short as the loud ringtone of your phone violently broke the silence. “Excuse me.” You moved back a little, forcing Changkyun to let go of the chair. You reached for the inner pocket of your blazer and frowned as you looked at the two phones you now held in your hand. You used the white one for work. Usually, it was ringing almost constantly. But now the display was pitch-black. Instead, the golden one, your private one, was ringing.

The phone that only two people had the number of. And one of them was standing right next to you, looking down at you in confusion.

“Sorry.” You lifted your phone a little before pointing towards the office door. “May I?”

Changkyun took a huge step backwards, making some room for you to properly move. “Sure thing.”

“Thanks. I’ll be right back.” You went out of the office and turned to your left, still looking down at the phone in your hand that just kept on ringing. A landline number. And judging by the fact that it started with a 51 it had to be a caller from Busan. But nobody knew your private cell number except for Changkyun and Kihyun. You’d made sure of that, not wanting to take any risks.

So who the hell was calling you?

You sped up your footsteps, almost running down the hallway that led you towards the fire escape which was often used by Changkyun for a quick smoke. Your heart was beating rapidly in your chest and your hands were starting to sweat as your brain was already going through all the possibilities. And all of them were terrifying.

You knew you shouldn’t answer this call. Everything inside you screamed and begged of you not to accept it. To just ignore it and pretend this never happened. But you knew that ignorance isn't bliss. It was dangerous. And in your case, it could even be deadly. If they found you, you needed to know so you could at least try to get away. Even though you knew that it would probably be impossible. Especially if Hyunwoo had sent… him.

There was no escaping him. At least not for you.

And your brother was very well aware of that.

You shoved open the exit door and stepped out onto the landing. You tried not to focus on the fact that you were on the twentieth floor or that the wind was howling in your ears.

Instead, you forced yourself to finally answer the call.

“Hello?” You tried to sound strong and daring, not giving away the fact that you were shaking with fear. But you failed. Your voice was high pitched and completely out of tune.

“Hello.” You frowned. Not at all what you’d expected. This was the voice of a young woman. And she sounded stressed out and even a little agitated. “This is the Emergency Room of Busan General Hospital speaking.”

The ER? Did Kihyun have an accident? But you talked to him a little over fifteen minutes ago. And Busan General was on the other side of town. No way he–

“Hello!” The nurse said again, now sounding mildly anxious. “Are you there?”

“Sorry.” God, you had to snap out of it. “Yes. Yes, I’m listening.”

“I asked you what your name was.”

“My name is Lee Y/F/N.” You tried to calm down so that your brain could start to make sense of what was actually going on. “I’m sorry but I am a little confused as to why the ER is calling me.

The woman started speaking again. “We have an unidentified male in our trauma ward with a stab wound to his lower abdomen. He had nothing on him except for 50 million Won and a cellphone with only one number saved in it.” She seemed to carefully arrange her words before she kept going. “And that number was yours.”

Stab wound. Lower abdomen.

Thank God - it’s not him.

After spending years in the inner circle of the Clan you knew all the signature killing methods. Especially his. And he had always been the type to break bones instead of dealing with a huge pool of blood at his feet.

No, this wasn’t him. But that didn’t make this whole thing less dangerous. Because a stab wound like that was Jooheon’s specialty. Your brother’s very own assassin and one of the sickest bastards you’d ever met. He always went for a stab wound, making his victims suffer and slowly but steadily bleed to death at his feet. He enjoyed hearing them scream and beg for mercy. But all of them pleaded in vain. You’d never heard of a life speared by Lee Jooheon.

Which meant that your brother had sent you a warning in form of a dead body. Quite theatrical. Especially for somebody like Hyunwoo.

But apparently, things changed.

“Are you sure about that?” you said, your voice a bit calmer now. “He didn’t have any note on him? Or something written across his chest or something?”

“What?” The nurse must have been under the impression that you were insane, but you didn’t have the time to care about stuff like that.

“I asked if he had something written on him. In ink or in blood?” You thought about how your father had relayed messages like that to his enemies. “Or does he have a tattoo?”

“Who the hell are you?”

God, you’d almost forgot how bothersome it was to deal with mere civilians in situations like that. They were always too nosy for their own good, resulting in a lot of them being killed for absolutely no reason but their own curiosity.

You let out a long and drawn-out sigh, your brain already formulating an escape plan instead of trying to be empathetic towards the woman that was probably absolutely terrified by all your questions. “Just check.”

Getting out of Busan would cost you a fortune. Especially if you wanted to be gone without a trace. And you definitely needed to if Jooheon was close by. Maybe this time you should really consider getting yourself a fake passport and escaping to the United States. But your brother had a lot of business partners there so Europe or Australia might be the better alternative. But both were pricey. And it wasn’t like Changkyun was paying you a lot of money. You were just a personal assistant for Christ’s sake. You could consider yourself lucky because you were able to pay the bloody rent.

Good thing you knew how to make money fast. Maybe you should–

“Are you kidding? He’s covered in tattoos! And I really shouldn’t get too close to him if he’s unconscious. That’s considered sexual harassment! And he isn’t just some piece of meat!”

Your thoughts came to a sudden halt. What did she just say? You must have been mistaken, right?

Jooheon never spared a life. Never.

“Wait - He isn’t dead?”

“No, he isn’t!” The nurse sounded hysterical by now. “And what kind of question is that?”

You couldn’t care less. You needed her to be absolutely sure about this. “Are you sure he is alive and breathing?”

���Well, I am only a mere nurse so why don’t you come down here and tell me?” She huffed. “We need him to be identified. The police will arrive shortly and– Wait…”

“Did you find something?” Maybe your brother had actually left a message for you. Something that would give you a hint as to how close he truly was.

“Not really. I just noticed this tattoo on his neck.”

You closed your eyes. Hoping. Praying. But the rational part of you already started to paint the picture for you. And it sure as hell wasn’t a pretty one.

Your heart started to rapidly beat in your chest while your stomach clenched. Suddenly, you felt like drowning. As if your lungs were filling up with water and making it unable for you to take one steady breath after the other. You shouldn’t ask. You really shouldn’t. Because you knew that your worst fears would come to life the moment you did. Yet your mouth started to move on it’s own, making the words fall off your tongue in a frenzy.

“What does it say?”

You could hear the ruffling of clothes. The steady beeping of the ECG. The nurse who cursed under her breath as she probably leaned in a little closer to the patient to get a proper look at the tattoo.

You knew that it must have been only a matter of seconds until she started speaking again but to you, it felt like minutes. And when she finally did, she shattered your peaceful world into a million little pieces.

“Yours.”

to be continued...

[justoneday-namjoonii]

Color me moonlight. II

☾ • I • II • III • IV • V • VI • VII ☽

› Summary: Some flowers are not to be plucked, for their thorns are far too sharp for any hand to graze, yet, she was touched. She was soft, fragile, she didn’t know it, but something that beautiful could never be bad. You grew up in a garden of loneliness, do you have a place to bloom? It’s alright, I’ll give you a place and we can bloom together.

› pairing: Taehyung x reader/OC › genre: angst | m | fluff | sci-fi au | supernatural!au | mutant!au | hybrid!au |

a/n: thank you for all of the love part 1 received! I was really happy to see that some of you are following this story(im personally loving it myself). If there are any questions at all, don’t hesistate to send in an ask! Your feed back is more than welcomed ♥♥

April 7th, 1988.

“Jane Sato, date of Biological Alteration and Repair test run, April 7th, 1988. Time, 1:07 Pm. Subject 1010; 20 years of age, male, 129 lb, 5′9. Biochemistry, molecular biology, bioinformatics, DNA-Polymerase, chromosomal translocation, and genetic isolates are among the primary research conducted for the operation. The patient’s condition of severe cell degeneration, Sickle-cell disease, and genetic malformations —” She paused, the recorders red light still on, “— compatible with all inquiries of biogenetic mutation and enhancement. Surgery will commence accompanied by surgeons, Jackson Blanchard, Stephanie Liu, Hanz Fai, and surgical nurse Joyce Brown. Surgery will now begin.” 

The scientists and doctors in the facility watched from the viewing room, standing right at the glass so they wouldn’t miss a thing. Her personal favorite, clair de lune, was the last song on the playlist in the background. After roughly 7 hours, the operation was complete.

“Alright,” She inspected with work they had done over several hours. The surgical mask, gown, and gloves were beginning to become a part of her from how long she had them on, “stitch him up.” 

She went to the sink in the back where she had left the recorder and thrown her gloves away.

“7:40 PM. The operation was successful. All vital signs are normal and patient 1010-FS is expected to recover well.” 

She washed up before greeting the group of eager professionals who came to witness history. She clears her throat. “Alright, questions?”

‘I have a question doctor. Last month, you discussed the possibility of a program dedicated to your research, can you tell us more about that?’

She nods. “Yes. I‘ve served the Medical Science Advisory for three years now and since the opening of the SRMA Facility, I’ve come far with my research. Starting next year, my program will start.”

“What does the program entail exactly?”

“First, 120 volunteers from all over the country will take part in the experimentation. I won’t reveal everything but I will say this, the participants will undergo extreme DNA modifications and molecular mutation on a supernatural level.”

***

October 19th, 1992. 4 years post-program.

The program commenced in 1989 and experimentations took place at the Science-Medical Facility. Just as she planned, 120 participants were under intensive study and experimentation. More volunteers came from all over, ranging from ages 10 to 30, per Dr. Sato’s request. Recently, Sato had begun to categorize the most and least successful cross-studies. The 4% of experiments with the M2-gene were separated to undergo intensive modification.

“Jane.”

“Yes?” She measured the potent liquid, one drop more and it would kill the receiver.

“Patient 1072.” Her assistant, Diana, placed the clipboard in on the doctor’s work table. “She’s been showing a lot of physical and behavioral progress.”

“1072, she’s in the lower level group, yeah? That’s good” Sato flipped through a book, her gaze softening. “Look at this, in 1973 in the United Kingdom, this poor thing was born with Tay-Sachs disease. She had seizures, vision and hearing loss, intellectual disability, and paralysis and she died at the age of 3.” She sighed. “I could have saved that girl and given her a life without pain and suffering. Those doctors didn’t know what they were doing...that’s why she died.”

Diana cleared her throat, nodding as she waits for the doctor to notice that she came here for something else.

“I’m sorry, what about 1072?”

“Oh, she’s receiving the DNA modification well, I think she can join the 4%.”

“Let me have a look-”

The facility speakers blared.

Dr. Sato to room B012.

“I guess I’ll have to wait.” Sato slipped her reading glasses off and made her way to the elevator so she could get to the 9th floor.

“Doctor, thank God.” Blanchard was standing in front of the patient's room with a few of their colleagues.

“What’s going on?”

“The experiment, he’s developed his first sign of mutation. His body is still weak but he has physical changes, you’d be amazed.” Her eyes brightened, this was her favorite part of the program, witnessing the changes. “We’ve watched him for 4 hours straight and well- You have to see him yourself.”

“Show me.”

He opened the door and let her walk in by herself, the boy sat up on the bed, seemingly normal aside from his extreme lack of pigment in his eyes, they looked translucent, almost pale. That was new. She approached him.

“Touch my hand.” She spoke, waiting for him to do it. “Go on, it’s okay.” He slowly reached his hand to place it on hers. Warm, his hand was warm and she felt a pang of heat in her chest, he winced, retreating his hand immediately.

“You’re coming along great.” She insisted. “Get some rest and you’ll get your medicine shortly.” She left the boy to sit in the room.

“Did you see it, doctor?”

“Yes. Continue testing and make a date for his procedure.” She instructed and he nodded. She was about to walk down the hall but she paused. “Oh, and move him up to the 4%.”

“Stupid earrings!” You kick the side of your vanity, instantly regretting it when a surge of pain went up to your leg.

The only pair of diamond earrings you owned were missing and you had 10 minutes to get to the subway or bus for the North Heights. Half of your hair was okay while the other side looked like a mangled up tumbleweed. You got the sleeve of your blouse caught in the bleach water for dishes so you had to change for the third time. This morning was starting off pretty rough. 

Margaret never specified a time until 6 o’clock this morning. She said Mr. Kim has appointments all day after 9 so, ‘Be here by 7:30.’ You live a half-hour away, and that’s when the bus isn’t late or if you catch a taxi on a good day. It was currently 6:47 and you were vigorously passing a comb through your hair. At this point, it doesn’t even matter if you look like Synthia from the Rugrats, you had to get out of here. You grabbed a ponytail holder and tied it up, at least you had somewhat of a presentable style now. Your little skirt and top would have to work with a pair of flats because there is no way you’re running around this city in heels today. 

“How is it 7 already!?” You glanced at the microwave clock and cursed it for mocking you. The yogurt you attempted to eat would have to wait until you come back. You threw your bag onto your shoulder and bolted out of the door.

You ran down the few flights of stairs, stopping in front of the complex and holding your cell phone in your hand to search the bus and subway schedule. “Off of Miller and Maine- Departed?!- That’s it, the world has it out for me.”

The subway was too far of a walk and the 7 o'clock bus just left, there is no way you’re gonna get there before 7:45. “Why...” You looked around, about to wave down a taxi when a man in a tapped your shoulder. “Taxi!-”

“Excuse me, Miss?” 

“Yes?” You furrowed your brows, wondering what this older fellow might want that apparently can’t wait. 

“Are you Y/f/n?” You noticed the gentlemen wore a black chauffeur hat and uniform.

“Yes, can I help you, sir?- Wait, how do you know my name?” You gave him a suspicious expression.

“I am your driver for this morning ma’am, Bernard Shelton. Mr. Kim sent a car for you. I knocked on your apartment door but you must not have heard me. He requested that I apologize on is behalf for the short notice.” You looked past him to see a black luxury vehicle with tents that might as well have been a black hole. “Are you ready to go?”

“Um,” You didn’t know if you could trust this guy, despite his convincing attire and professional mannerisms. “I’m sorry but how do I know Mr. Kim sent you? I mean, wouldn’t he have his secretary tell me this?”

“Would you like to contact Ms. Gough for verification? We’re already running late and Mr. Kim has appointments all day after 9 o’clock. We really must be going, ma’am.” You glanced at your watch, it was 7:09, this is your best bet.

“Alright...” With hopes that you weren’t getting kidnapped, you followed him in the car and sat anxiously in the backseat. Your fingers grazed the flawless interior, making you wonder why a car of this prowess came to pick you up. Upon request of the CEO at that.

“We’re here ma’am, with one minute to spare.” He smiled, stopping you in front of the huge skyscraper in the middle of the fine part of the city. 

“Thank you.” You hopped out of the car and made your way inside. The lobby was far more beautiful than the one at your office. There were sparkling light fixtures, expensive paintings gracing to tall walls and you found your self-walking towards the front desk slower than you should have.

“Hello, I have an appointment with Mr. Kim at 7:30.”

The woman looked through her computer and she couldn’t hide the judgments glint in her eye when she looked at you. “Your name?”

“Y/n.” 

She picked up the black corded phone. “Margeret, I have a Y/n here to see Mr. Kim, would you like me to send her up?” A few seconds went by and she nodded. “Alright, I'll send her up.” She put the phone back on the hook. “You can go ahead. Top floor, directly in front of you when you exit the elevator, his secretary is to the right of his office.”

“Thank you.” Quickly, you went to the elevator and took it straight up to the top floor. A light ‘ding’ noise and you were let out on the quiet floor, not a single soul making a sound on the pristine floor.

“Excuse me,” You walked up to the desk that said ‘Margeret Gough.’ “Ms. Gough?”

“You’re here.” She had a kind smile. “He’s waiting for you, he just got off of his first-morning call. One moment,” She pressed a red button on the phone hook, “you’re 7:30 is here sir, should I send her in now?” She was talking to Taehyung.

“Yes, you can send her in.” 

Your courage started to falter when you heard his voice, now you were really, really nervous. But now is not the time to be timid—you have to hold your head high and walk in there with confidence.

“Okay, sir.” A beep signaled that he turned off the phone. “Go on ahead.” She gestured to the door, a kind simper beckoning you to go in. “No need to be nervous, Mr. Kim is in a very good mood this morning.” She giggled, a grin tugging at the corner of her mouth.

“Just breathe...” You mumbled, slowly pushing open one of the two tall double doors at the end of the hall. 

Your eyes met him instantly as he stood in front of the window the covered the entire wall. The view was ridiculous.

His eyes widened upon your entrance. “Good morning.” He smiled a bit, one hand on a coffee mug while the other rested in his pocket. The dainty necklace with a tiny diamond on the end of it brought his attention to the v neck of your camel-colored blouse. 

“Good morning, Mr. Kim.” You brought a had to the side of your neck briefly and that small movement prompted his eyes to find the soft indent of your collarbones.

He cleared his throat. “I apologize for this being so short notice, I hope it’s not too much of an inconvenience for you.” By the time he walked over to the gesture that you sit, you had already made yourself comfortable in the small leather chair in front of his desk. 

“Don’t worry about it. Thank you for sending the car, by the way, you really didn’t have to do that.” It was a kind gesture but you didn’t feel it was necessary.

“No, it was the least I could do. Last night, I remembered I had these meetings to do and I couldn’t help but want to do one with you since we talked last night.” He sipped his coffee. “So, I asked Margeret to contact you.” He swiveled his chair a bit. “I guess we should get right into it then, yeah?”

“What is it, exactly?”

“Just reviewing company regulations, how you think your locations management is, things like that...” He laid a sheet of paper with a bunch of questions and long black lines, right in front of you. “Would you fill that out? It’s like a survey, a business owner seminar suggested I get to know the business and this was one way to do it.”

“Alright...” You did what you had to do, writing simple answers to questions like, ‘how does your management treat you? Do you feel like an important part of the team?’ Important? Eh, sure, you thought, trying to compile meaningful sentences. After five minutes or so, you were on the very last question and before your pen touched the paper, you froze. “D-did you say something?” 

The confusion on his face probably meant no. “No.” 

“Oh, sorry, I thought I heard something...” You bashfully went back to the paper, quickly scribbling down an answer before setting the pen back in the pen holder. “I’m done.”

“Great. So, how did you feel about the survey? Margeret made the questions with her assistant, she said this would be a good way to see how the employees feel about the company. It wasn’t too boring I hope.”

“It was fine,” It was a generic survey. 

“Let me ask you, do you feel like a valued employee?” The question was pretty simple, but you found yourself scrambling for a response that clearly expressed how you felt.

“Valued? Um...” This was going to sound pessimistic but oh well. “Well, if I quit today and someone gets hired to take my job tomorrow, does that change your profits in any way?” He assumed it was a rhetorical question. “No, I don’t think it does. So how important could I be to you? Sure, I think I’m valued but I see it this way, there’s a job that needs to be done and I’m just the person who does it, no one too special...” He had never heard such an unenthusiastic statement from an employee before, he always viewed his father's company as one big family but based on what you were saying, it wasn’t as family-oriented as he believed. 

“I’m sorry, that sounds kind of negative, doesn’t it?” His silence made you realize that what you said was probably the last thing a boss wanted to hear. “I don’t hate my job, I just don’t see the point in fabricating anything, Mr. Kim. Your company is great and all, but for me, it’s just a job that helps support me...”

“Well,” Your eyes followed him as he walked to the cute little coffee maker to fill up his mug again, “is there anything I can do to make your job more enjoyable? I don’t want you to feel like you’re a machine in a factory, you are an important member of this company. I mean that.” 

“Look,” You sighed, standing up from your chair to walk near the window, taking this opportunity to appreciate the cities beauty from a bird's eye view, “I chose to work for you because it’s a reputable company and your cameras are nice.” When you glanced at him, he saw your real smile for the first time, your teeth showing and everything. Sadly, you shielded it from his sight as he approached you. “If it’s worth anything, I think you’re doing a good job with this whole CEO thing, in my professional opinion at least.” You smiled, he deserved some type of praise for reaching out to his people like this.

“Thank you, that means a lot.” The urge to walk up to you and tangle his finger in the stray strand of hair in your ponytail but he resisted. “You know, because of you, we discontinued Model 0XHS-5D.”

He was standing beside you now. “Really?”

“Yes, and it has impacted sales positively. We cut off the manufacture and it shows in the stock market, all because of you Y/n.” 

“Oh, that’s good, I’m glad I could be of some assistance...” When you sensed him trying to stand a bit too close for comfort, you walked back to your seat. The lack of sleep was kicking in because you found yourself leaning against the side of the chair with your forearm—and the coffee in his hand smelled like heaven. He followed you, taking his previous position in his chair.

“I like the idea of...I don’t know, talking to someone I already know, it’s refreshing.” 

“With all due respect sir, you don’t really know me.” The coo in your voice wasn’t intentional but you were just being honest. “Sure, we talked at the party and last night, but other than that...We’re strangers.” You trailed off, not really sure how you were supposed to end that statement.

“Y/n.” He breathed, thinking he may as well just outright say it—it would happen eventually. “Would you join me for lunch? My lunch appointment canceled before you came, so I have a reservation that I don’t have to cancel if you join me.” 

Lunch? That was the last thing you were expecting to hear this morning. His eyes seemed to latch onto you and refuse to let you go until you answered his question.

“L-lunch? I appreciate the offer but...” You swallowed, for a split second, you considered taking him up on the offer but you quickly dismissed the preposterous idea. I can’t do that, he’s my boss. “But I can’t, I have to get back to work, it’s already past 8 and I- I don’t think that’s the best idea given I kinda work for you...” 

“Work’s not a problem, I gave all survey participants the day off anyway. A 12:30 lunch is more than appropriate for our relationship I think...” Eager, that’s what he probably looked like, but the desperation to get near you was hard to ignore. That same way you looked on the terrace at the party, you still looked that way and he couldn’t just disregard it. 

You locked eyes with him—tempting, very much so, but no. Absolutely not.

“I’m sorry,” You stood to your feet and he followed suit, standing much taller than you, especially without your trusty high heels on. “but I can’t.” 

Any hopes of a day accompanied by you came crashing down as you politely rejected him. The only person he wanted to dine with at that restaurant didn’t want anything to do with him. The way you nibbled on your bottom lip implied that you were starting to feel uncomfortable. He took a small step back, you were dying to get out of here and he was perplexed onto why.

A beep interrupted you, it was Margeret.

“Your 8:30 is here, should I send them in?”

He was quiet, still peering at you as if it would change your final answer. Sadly for him, it did nothing for his cause...

He pressed the button on the phone base. “Give me one moment.”

“Well, I guess I’ll be going now-” You tried to gather your purse and get out of dodge but he stopped you.

“No wait, take this.” He grabbed a business card and wrote a string of numbers and words on it. “This is my personal cell.” He handed it to you. “With this number, I’m Taehyung, not Mr. Kim. So, if you feel more comfortable going to lunch with him,” He smiled halfheartedly. “he’ll be there.”

“Alright...” You tucked it into your purse and bowed respectfully before turning your back to leave.

“Do you like jazz or classical music?”

You paused, you weren’t expecting such a question. “Um, I enjoy both. Why?” 

There was an itch at the back of his neck and he satisfied the nuisance with the tip of his index finger. “I thought maybe that was why we ended up at that cafe last night, a common interest.” 

“Yeah, maybe...” You mumbled, turning around to continue your path out the door.

Meeting with Taehyung wasn’t so bad after all, you scored a day off. You took it upon yourself to get a few things done and spend a little time with one of your only friends. He was being currently studying medicine, technology, science - things like that. He offered to come to your favorite cafe to study with you and a few minutes ago, his lab partner joined you two. The bug seemed to have gotten to them too...

The cafe had the news on in the background and they were playing the same news bit from last night which led Hoseok to strike up a conversation with the lab girl he’s always with.

“What do you think about the 1989 Project? Does your supervising physician ever talk about it? Especially since the media won’t shut up about it.” Hoseok, your good friend for a few years now met you at the cafe so you could catch up on your language studies. 

“She’s mentioned it a few times but I try not to ask about it.” Wendy decided to join you two as well, she and Hoseok were going to school for the same thing so they often studied together.

“What do you think about it Y/n?” Hoseok looked to you. Given you were really into that whole medical and technology thing, you wondered why he had to ask.

“Um,”  You took out one earbud, “I don’t know, it’s interesting I guess.” Assuming he was going to continue talking, you kept the earbud out. 

“I used to think that the Zoe Hawn case was always so freaky, it’s one of the reasons I’m studying at the SRMA Facility, I want to be a part of something that’ll do some good. Crossbreeds, crosses, hybrids- Whatever they're called, I know for a fact that there are experiments still at the laboratory.”

Wendy crooked a brow. “How would you know that?”

“I’m an intern at the facility, I listen in on the scientists and doctors sometimes. There’s a floor that you have to have level five clearance to be on and I’ve peeked in a few times.” You remembered you had a medical and scientific savvy best friends who would never drop the conversation.

Wendy chimed in. “Yeah, I’ve never seen the patients in there, they say some of them look like everyday people, others -- not so much. I wonder if there are even patients in there, it might just be something else.” 

“Interesting...” It had been some time since you left Taehyungs office and you rubbed the business card between your fingers, staring down at the numbers and restaurant name. “Pain Grillé...” You whispered the name to yourself, you had seen that place before, your co-workers often mentioned the fancy place—maybe going wouldn’t be so bad...

“What was that?” Wendy tilted her head, her honey blonde hair shifting on her shoulders.

“Oh, nothing...” Nothing you wanted to discuss with them.

Hoseok smirked. “What’s that in your hand? You’ve been staring at it every few minutes now, is it a love note from an admirer or something?” He teases, the blush on your cheeks and the knitting of your brows only made your reaction all the more amusing

“No, dummy.” You kicked his foot. “It’s not a love note. I was asked to lunch and the name of the restaurant is on this card.”

“So, why are you here?”

“Because I’m not going.” That card was dropped back into your purse, you regretted taking it out in the first place.

“Why not? Lunch at Pain Grille sounds great -- and expensive.” He wondered, what special person wanted to take you there?

“I just rather not, that’s all.” It’s time for a subject change, “I have to go, I’m dog walking all evening so...” You grabbed your notebook and put the rest of your things in your tote. “Bye guys.”

Mr. and Mrs. Lafonso asked you to walk and feed their Pomeranian while they’re out and that’s what you were doing. Dog walking on the side is way underrated, it was what you did when you first moved out here to earn some extra cash. It was sort of a depressing time in your life, you lived in a tiny hotel and worked in a diner until you could save enough to find your own place. Living on your own wasn’t easy at first—a young 18-year-old that was struggling to get by in the big city with a few hundred dollars or so and a heavy suitcase. You got offers from guys to be their sugar-babies and if you were honest, you considered it a few times, the check from your part-time jobs looked like chump change in comparison to the money those guys were offering you. You didn’t have much but you had dignity and morality, no amount of money could take that away. And that’s what kept you going, you knew you could to make it and you did, all by yourself.

“Ugh...” It was beginning to drizzle and you were about to walk down to get to the subway station but you stopped, Pain Grillé. Kim Taehyung could be seen through the window, sitting at the table alone as the swoon waiter brought him a glass of wine.

The grumble of your stomach indicated that it was a marvelous idea—darn your appetite. You turned around and strolled across the street to get to the restaurant, your actually about to do this. When you walked inside, the lump in your throat was stopping you from speaking to the hostess at the desk.

“Good afternoon ma’am, can I help you?” She was a sweet lady, beckoning you to come to her.

“Oh,” Clearing your throat, you smiled, “I’m meeting Kim Tae-”

“Oh, you’re her!” She sounded a bit flustered like she knew you were coming but forgot. “I’m so sorry ma’am, I’ll get you seated, right this way.” She grabbed a menu and urged you to follow.

Her? 

“Mr. Kim said he was expecting a special guest, he told me to make sure I bring you over myself. I’m the owner, Audrey. He loves this place, comes here for all of his special lunch appointments.” Her jaw-length bob bounced as she walked you through the busy restaurant. When he looked up from his phone and saw you, one would think you two were pretty close because of his childishly wide smile. I knew she would come... 

“Here you are! Your waiter will be over shortly. Enjoy!” With that, she was gone, and you both stood there.

“You came...” He beamed, still in awe that you took him up on his offer. You were about to speak as you reached to pull out your chair. “Yeah, I-”

“Wait, let me get that for you.” He rushed to the chair to pull it out for you.

“Thank you...” You shuffled the chair forward, now you were a few inches away from the pristine white tablecloth. 

“No, thank you for joining me, for a moment there I thought you wouldn’t show up.” He took his wine glass, sipping it briefly. Unbeknownst to him, it was sheer coincidence that led you here.

“Oh? Well, here I am...” You scanned the menu slightly as you glanced up at him. 

You don’t mind a little wine with your lunch, do you? They have wines that pair beautifully with every meal, I’ve tried the whole menu. I went with a Muscadet today, easy-drinking in my opinion.” He would have a knowledgeable understanding of wines, why wouldn’t he? 

“I don’t mind, I enjoy a glass every so often.” Maybe a few times a month -- week.

The corner of his lips “So-”

“Good afternoon ma’am, can I get you started with something to drink?” The waiter asked and Taehyung glanced at him with an impatient glint, he was interrupting something.

“I’ll have a Mascoto please.” You thanked the waiter as he went off to get your sweet bubbly beverage. Day-drinking—I guess, when in Rome do as the Romans, you thought to yourself.

“Good choice.” He bit his lip, his tongue peeking out to run over his lips in a tantalizing way. Out of habit, he tapped his fingers on the table. “I admit that I’m probably coming on a bit strong, yeah?” You nodded. “I don’t mean to come after you, I genuinely just want to get to know you...”

He’s still on that. “Sir-”

“Taehyung...” He reminded you. “Call me Taehyung, please.” That smirk—God, why is he smirking at me like that?

“Taehyung,” You emphasized the call of his name, “I’m flattered but I’m no different from anybody else...” Thank goodness the waiter brought your wine to you, you needed it right about now. “I’m sure there are plenty of women who have extravagant lives they can tell you about over lunch, why me?” You scoffed bitterly. “It doesn’t add up to me-”

“I don’t want to know just any of those women, I want to know you.” He countered. “That whole ‘there’s nothing to know about me’ act, I just don’t believe it, everybody has a story.” 

“I don’t.”

“Has anyone ever told you that you almost look believable when you lie?”

You choked mid-sip. “Excuse me?-”

“Are you two ready to order?”

He was starting to spite this waiter. “Uh, yes, I’ll have my usual, what about you, love?” He was looking at you.

Still taken aback by his statement, you ordered. “I’ll have the chicken marsala with a side salad, please.” He nodded, taking the menus away to leave you two alone. You glared at him. “Lie? What makes you think-” He cut you off.

“If you don’t mind me asking, are you close with your family?” That was a personal question that you weren’t expecting to have to answer today. 

“You expect me to answer your questions after you called me a liar?” You scoffed. “I don’t think so...” 

He sighed, not breaking eye contact in the slightest as he sipped his wine. “Is there anyone, anyone at all, a mother, sister, friend, anyone you’re really close with? Anyone you can share your heart with, talk about difficult things with. You seem like the loner type...”

“It doesn’t matter.” You quipped rather defensively. “I don’t really need anyone to talk to, I’m doing fine on my own. As far as my family goes, well, I’m not a representation of my family, I’m just me...”

“So you’re not close to your parents?” He tilted his head curiously. You gazed down at your silver fork, solemnly—you never talk about stuff like this. 

“No...” You uttered lowly, not liking where he was going with the invasive questions. “They died when I was a newborn, I was adopted by my uncles family...” 

“Oh...” He felt bad for asking now. “I’m sorry to hear that,” You flinched, he cupped the top of your hand with his own large one, a softness in his eyes, “I’m sure growing up was hard for you, yeah?...” 

“I mean, you could say that...” Oddly, you let him keep his hand on your own but it didn’t last long. “Can we drop this subject, please? I really don’t like talking about it.” You slid your hand back, an awkward grin showing your discomfort.

“Of course, sorry,” He sounded flustered, “I didn’t mean to pry.” The waiter had come back and sat the food in front of you two, you both thanked him. It smelled divine and Taehyung had already dug into his meal. You stabbed the nicely sliced tomato, sticking it in your mouth slowly as you eyed him intently.

“Y’know...” He began.

You forgot that people actually talk to one another when they go out to eat, it’s been so long it seemed weird. You were just about ready to tape his mouth shut because of all of these questions weren’t allowing you to eat. The chicken on your fork would have to wait. “What?”

“I know this may be a little awkward since I’m your boss and all, but we’re both adults.” Awkward? That was an oversimplification. 

He lowered his voice. “This morning, when you said you heard something,” He bit his lip, “I whispered something to myself...I said it so low, I could barely hear myself say it, but you did.” His gaze focused on you intensely. “I couldn’t stop thinking about it, how could you have heard something that was as quiet as a thought?” 

Fear. A blanket of utter terror wrapped around you as you struggled to gulp the lump in your throat. “I- I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You choked, hands beginning to tremble when you pushed them in your lap.

“Are you sure? Because I think you do.” He was starting to rub you the wrong way.

You are eating lunch in a restaurant with a man that you work for and he sees no problem with it. Not only that, but you saw a few employees from the Heights office and they wouldn’t stop staring and whispering when they saw you. Free lunch at the expense of your antisocial way of life. Those workers knew your face now, what if this went bad? It would look bad on a new boss was seen with a lower level employee like you, what would they think? This is why you didn’t want to do this, this was a bad idea. Thoughts raced through your mind but the only one that you could grasp was the thought of him knowing—you wanted to throw up.

“Are you okay? Your face is flushed.” His eyes widened in concern.

“I- I’m fine, it’s just a little hot in here.” You fanned yourself lightly, reaching for the glass of wine and finishing it off but still feeling parched. Suddenly, a dull ache throbbed in your temples and your brows furrowed in discomfort.

“Excuse me,” he stopped a waiter, “can you bring me a glass of water please?”

“No, no, thank you for everything but I really have to go.” You were pushing yourself away from the table and in a matter of seconds, you were making your way through the restaurant and flying out the door. When you walked out of that place you felt like you could breathe. The gears were turning in your head, anxiety began to eat away at your bones and you couldn’t contain it anymore. Panting, you stood in the busy street, trying to gather yourself. You shook your head, your ears aching as if someone had set a firework off right next to you. Eager to get home, you got on the subway and held on to the safety bar. You felt hot, it as if everything was burning inside you. It scared you to death, people would try to get close, ask too many questions—

 it made you sick to your stomach.

Home, that was your goal. When you got off the subway, you made your dog walking stops. Starting from the farthest apartment complex to your own. A pit bull, two chihuahua’s and a brown lab, it took about 2 hours. The Lafonso’s canceled last minute so you were thankful because nature decided that you deserved to suffer this evening. The rain was relentless. It was pouring down, your clothes were drenched, sticking to you in the worst way as you walked down the street, desperate to get home. No one offered to walk you under their umbrella, not that you would accept the offer anyway. A nice hot shower was all you wanted.

“Huh...” You sigh, dragging your soaked frame up the stairs. You closed your eyes, taking in a deep breath. You dug into your pocket to take out you’re house key. “Where is that thing?-...”

Notice from the city — Sorry we missed you!

We missed you! You were not available when we came to introduce the new monthly policy. The SRMA monthly routine check on all citizens born between 1992 - 1998 who may have failed to submit their medical records or whose records may need verifying. Do not be alarmed, as a government, we want to ensure the health and safety of our people through all necessary methods. If you have any questions, contact us at 747-”

B.S.—You rip the bright orange paper off the door, crumbling it up into a ball, and throw it in the trash bin as you entered your home. It’s disgusting. The government has their sneaky ways of getting what they want, one way or another. Just as you do every night, you flipped the light switch to get some light in your dark little living room. You flicked it twice but there was no light—just your luck. The light bulbs are out. You toss your purse on the couch to go search for some extra light bulbs. 

For some reason the light bulbs refused to be found, you checked under the kitchen sink, then the supply closet—I know I bought some. 

“There we go.” On the very top shelf, the new pack of bulbs sat in the far corner. You had no clue why you put it there but you reached up on your tippy-toes and grabbed the pack.

Sighing, you untwisted the dead bulb from under lampshade and sat it on the coffee table. As you were about to screw in the new bulb, suddenly, you heard low footsteps in the hall and you tensed as the unknown person passed your door.

You absentmindedly screwed in the bulb. “Who in the- Agh!” A sharp burst of glass and light happened in your hands and scared the life out of you. The light bulb previously in your hand now exploded, the shards of glass missing your finger so by less than an inch. 

You rush to your kitchen to get a broom and dustpan. “Cheap bulbs, what can you expect...” You cleared your throat, shuffling over to clean up the mess. When you glanced at your buzzing cellphone, you had easily predicted who it was on the other end.  You picked it up and held it between your shoulder and ear. “Hi, Hoseok.”

“Hey, I was just calling to check on you. I saw you weren’t answering your texts so I got worried.” 

Always so concerned for you, you were lucky to have at least one friend like him.

“Oh, I was really busy today, I didn’t even see your texts. Sorry about that.” You walked into the kitchen as Hoseok explained that he was just making sure you got home safely. He was also pretty curious about who went to lunch with today, you wouldn’t say. “Don’t worry about it Hoseok, it was just lunch and it’s not happening again. Now, I wish I didn’t have to run but I got caught in the rain and I need a shower-”

Footsteps. You heard footsteps in the hall again, and this time, they stopped right in front of your door.

“Y/n?”

“Wait one second...” You whispered, trying to stealthily tiptoe to the door but there was a knock. This time, you were sure it was probably Jan, it had to be...

“Hello?” 

No, that’s a man's voice. 

“Anyone home?”

Just as you were about to peek through the peep-hole, a paper began to slip through the crack of the door and fall to the floor in front of you. The person had quickly walked away after that and you bent down to inspect the paper. 

“Y/n, is everything okay?” 

You forgot Hoseok was still on the phone.

“Yeah...I’m good. Hey, I’ll talk to you later, okay?” 

“Okay, goodnight.”

“Night...” You hung up the phone, staring down at the paper.

You have failed to submit your birth records to the SRMA for the 4th year in a row. 5 years with unsubmitted records is considered a felony as of 2 months ago. You have one year to submit your records before you are put under high suspicion of the state. At the bottom of the paper, a printed signature was signed. Ordered by Senator Nelson Green.

“Ugh, not again...” You were about to crumble up the paper, but you paused. You don’t even know if your birth certificate is legitimate. You were adopted and for all you knew, your parents had altered the thing, it’s unlikely, but it’s still a possibility. You had never turned them in for the mere fact that it wasn’t against the law, it was just a strong and annoying suggestion. Until now.

“I’ve never met anyone like her before and I don’t want to let her slip through my fingers...” He was at his penthouse and his best friend, Jimin, was day house-sitting for him. Taehyung sat on the couch with his matching pajama set on and pillow snug in his grasp as the television served to fill in the silence gap.

“She must be gorgeous for you to be this messed up about her.” Jimin sat on the recliner with a bowl of ramen. 

“I went to lunch with her today.”

“Oh? So you’ve already gone on a date?”

“Not exactly, my lunch appointment canceled so I asked her if she wanted to join me. She came but I really don’t think she wanted to be there. It may have to do with the fact that I’m kind of her boss...”

“She works for you?!” Jimin couldn’t hide his shock.

Taehyung sighs. “Don’t sound so surprised, she works in the customer service department downtown.” 

“Woah, what does your dad think about you getting involved with an employee?”

“Who said anything about getting involved? I don’t think she likes me all that much, she’s kind of a closed book, doesn’t like to talk much. I just asked her to lunch, nothing more nothing less.” He knew it was far much more than that.

“But you want this to turn into something more, don’t you?” Jimin knew the answer. And so did Taehyung. But the thought of verbalizing his want for you made it less real, less tangible.

“Yes- No, I don’t know, I just want to get to know her, that’s all.” Taehyung laid on the arm of the couch, lost in his thoughts. There was no denying that you were hiding something from him, he knew that for a fact. But getting you to open up and be comfortable with him seemed to be the hardest part of all. Why was he so drawn to you? And why did you hide that you felt the same?

A few days later.

It’s a few days since your meeting with Taehyung and you were back to your normal life. Unfortunately, the news that you had gone out with the CEO for lunch was the subject of conversation for the cubicles not too far from you. None of them have dared to ask you about it, for reason that you weren’t quite sure of. You just knew that the only way you were going to get those girls to stop gossiping was to ignore them completely. 

You had quite a few calls this morning, no more than usual on a busy day but they came in back to back. Most of them were calling in regards to the new camera that just came out. Some were complaints, others were genuinely curious questions. Your supervisor came out of his office and you watched him survey the room until his eyes landed on you. 

“Y/n, come to my office please.” He walks back to his office, urging you to follow.

You swallowed, putting the phone back on the hook and walking to his office. Honestly, you couldn’t imagine what he wanted.

“Yes?”

“You’ve been doing a great job, so don’t think I called you in here because you’re in trouble.” Those words soothed your weary expression. “I was asked by Mr. Kim, to give you this envelope this morning.” He reached into his desk to pull out a white envelope. “Here you go.”

“Oh, thank you.” You took the envelope and walked back to your cubicle. In the solitude of your little space, you opened up the envelope. 

__, You’re probably wondering why I didn’t just call or text you. I wanted to know if you could meet me at the club we talked at the other night, I have something really important to talk to you about, please come.

Love, Kim Taehyung.

“Huh...”

“What’s that?” Your coworker in the cubicle across from you noticed the envelope in your hands.

“Oh, nothing, just some notice from HQ or something...” You opened up your desk and shoved it in your drawer. She didn’t look too convinced but she left the subject alone for the most part. 

You laid on your bed, pen in your hand, notebook in your lap, and earbuds snug in your ears. Excessive studying had begun to bore you. You decided to set the book down and scroll through your phone absentmindedly.

I had a great time Suzette

You froze, eyes widening in suspicion. You sat up, seeing if someone had opened your room door or something. Where did that come from? It sounded oddly like her uncle's voice. 

The kids are home, my mom and niece are taking care of them, but my wife doesn’t get off until 7 today

You were sure that was him now. You weren’t sure where it was coming from especially since you had your music on full blast. But when you took the earphones, you could hear the conversation amplified. Quietly, you sneaked up to your window on your hands and knees, pushing hair away from your face. To your distaste, you saw your uncle, leaning into the window of some woman's car—for your aunt's sake, you hoped that woman was just a friend.

I’ll see you on Friday, bring your swimsuit

He kissed her cheek—ok so they’re definitely more than friends. To ensure that he didn’t see you, you scurried away from the window and ran downstairs to help your grandma with dinner. After you washed up, you began to cut the vegetables for the salad as Daisy, the toddler of the bunch, played in the living room with her older brother.

“Hey guys, I’m home.” 

The little kids, all 4 of them ran up to greet their dad, you merely waved. Little did they know, their daddy wasn’t the superhero of a man he portrayed himself to be. 

“Food smells good mom.” He walked into the kitchen to search the fridge for something to drink as he always did.

“Thanks, son, it’s your favorite, stewed chicken and rice.” She smiled as he pecked her cheek. Now it was time to greet the only teenager in the house.

“How was school, __?” 

“It was school, nothing special.” You mumbled, cutting the tomato with one of your earbuds still in.

“Oh, well, just so you all know, I have to go out of town on-”

“Friday?” You suddenly blurted out, earning you an odd look from him.

“Yeah, how did you know?” He furrowed his brow in suspicion.

Save yourself Y/n. “Um, just a guess.” He looked like he thought nothing of it and went back to the conversation. It took everything in you not to say what you saw, what you heard. It burned at the tip of your tongue.

After dinner.

You stood in front of the sink, washing dishes like you always did after dinner. Even though you all had a dishwasher, grandma always insisted that you wash them by hand. It was annoying but you did it.

“Hey, your aunt wanted to know if you’ll take Josie to elementary school tomorrow, she’s gotta go in early.” Uncle walked into the kitchen, a bowl of cereal in hand.

“Sure, I guess I’ll skip class.” You muttered, a hint of sarcasm in your voice.

“Well, you shouldn’t skip class-”

“It’s not a big deal, I was gonna skip anyway.” You cut him off. You two had always had this tense relationship. He would say something, you’d saying something back, he’d get offended, the usual argument followed suit. You remember his rage when he saw you got a nose piercing, it was fake and so you felt no need not to wear it. It’s your nose after all.

“Oh.” He stood there for a little while, reading over some bills and such.

“So, you’re going out of town...” You thought you’d be the one to bring it up.

“Yep.”

“Somewhere sunny, I’m guessing?”

You furrowed his brows, wondering why you’d say that. “Um, sure, I guess.” 

“Why don’t you bring your wife with you? She hasn’t had a vacation in a while.”

“Because it’s work.”

“Or is it because Suzette will be there?” You had stopped washing dishes now.

“Suzette?” His brows knitted further. “How do you know Suzette? I’ve never mentioned her before.” Now he was suspicious.

You sighed, biting your lip anxiously. “You’re making a mistake, ok. You have a wife and kids, your family is worth more than some lady.” 

“__, are you hearing yourself? Suzette is a co-worker and we happen to work in the same city this weekend.”

“And you guys plan to do some fucking swimming while you’re there?” You spat, raising your voice a bit through clenched teeth. “Yeah, that sounds like tiresome, boring work.” 

He tensed—there is no way you should have heard him, that wasn’t possible

“You need to think before you speak __, you could get yourself in a lot of trouble. How the hell did you even hear that? Did you wire my bag or something? Where are you getting all of this?-”

“Look, I know what I heard.” You stormed away, trying to get away from him but he grabbed your wrist. “What.” You hissed.

“What are you up to, little girl? Do you think this is funny or something? You storm around me like some ungrateful bitch and I put up with it since the day you got here. I won’t be disrespected in my own home.”

“Let go of my arm.” You tried to pull away but he was relentless.

He gripped you harder. “I’m only gonna say this once, stay out of my business __, I mean it.”

The threat only made you spite him more. You felt anger and fear begin to bubble in your chest as he eyed you like a hawk. How dare he even insinuate that you were ridiculous when you saw with your own eyes what he was doing. You stared at him with a blank expression, your knuckles turning white as you clenched your fists impossibly tight. “L-let go.”

“Did you hear what I just-” He paused. A white heat began to incase his entire body, his hands trembled as a high-pitched ringing started to torture his senses, he stepped back. “What the hell?”

You got away and ran upstairs.

“__! I’m not done talking to you young lady-”

“Leave me alone!” 

You gritted your teeth, trying to conceal your voice. You closed your door, locking it and jumping to lay on your bed. It was hard not to hate his guts sometimes, he was so annoying sometimes. You wondered what your real dad would have been like...

You heard a knock on the door but you willed yourself to ignore the sounds.

The door creaked as he opened it. “Hi, can I help you?”

“Hello there, I know it’s late but my name is agent Susan Black, I’m with the Scientific Research and Medical Advancements recovery efforts. I’m here to get records for the people living in your home for safety, it’s protocol. We’ve been made aware that you’ve been avoiding our calls and emails for you to turn in all the residents of this home's birth records.” She smiled, he knew this would catch up with him. “You’re making us really suspicious Mr. Kang.”

He scratched the back of his neck thoughtfully. “I’ll make sure that happens in the next week, but now isn’t the best time.” 

“Oh, you don’t have to do it now sir, just before the end of the year. Goodnight sir- Oh, and don't forget, it’s for the safety of society.”

“Dr. Kim, what do you think about The 1989 Project, I know you used to work here back then?” 

One of the resident doctors stopped by Dr. Kim’s office to hand off some papers. “I know a lot of the rumors are true, and that even you worked with Zoe Akasma Hawn to get her back to health.”

The older man sighed, thinking of the horrible state of that girl. “I don’t have a lot to say about it.” 

“Oh, come on Doctor, I know you must think something of it.” He pried.

“I just hope the surviving participants get the help that they need, that’s all.” His answer is wholesome, not one you can really argue.

“You can’t possibly think that those experiments have a chance of molding into society, do you?”

“You never know.” That’s all he had to say before resuming his papers. His phone rang suddenly.

“Hello?”

“Hey dad, I can’t come by this evening, I have a thing.” Taehyung never missed coming to see his dad, so whatever it was, it must be important. “Sorry.”

“This thing must be important, huh?” He smiled through the phone. 

“Yeah, I’ll see you. Love you, dad.”

“I love you too, son.” 

Taehyung tucked his phone into his pocket and got out of the car, hoping he wouldn’t be waiting here all night. It was sunset, he entered the club and found a seat near the band and waited, anxiously. The tingling in his chest reminded him how nervous he was, what if you decided not to show up? That wouldn’t be a surprise given the feelings you have towards him—if you could call those feelings. When you ran out of the restaurant the other day, he had never felt so out of place in his life. He did put you on the spot when he asked about your family and you did not react well. But in his defense, he didn’t know it was a touchy subject. 

“Can I get you anything?” A young waitress, who looked rather swoon by his appearance walked up to him. 

“Not now, I’m waiting for someone.” Her expression saddened when she connected the dots. He wasn’t alone this evening and she could forget about hitting it big with a guy like him.

Thirty minutes turned into an hour, and an hour turned into an hour and a half. He had finally settled for ordering tea and leaving, but then you were walking in through the front door—you were wearing a black t-shirt, sneakers, and jeans. Your hair laid close on your shoulders as your eyes scanned the room for him. Before he could beckon you over, your eyes found him and you were walking towards him. With a breathless huff, you sat in the chair across from him, the air around you immediately took effect on him. His chest started to tingle but he managed to push the excitement down.

“So,” You exhaled, “what’s so important?” Your voice was soft, low, kind despite its cutting edges in tone.

“I...” He scrambled for his reasoning for calling you. “I called the office for you yesterday, but they said you weren’t there.”

“I had a few things I had to take care of, is that why you called me here?...” If that was the reason, you were sure he was taking this interest in you too far. “To see why I wasn’t at work? I asked my manager if it was ok-”

“No, that’s not why. I-...” He tapped absentmindedly on his ceramic cup, attempting to compile a coherent sentence. “Um...”

“Taehyung,” You cut him off, your patience running thin. “I really don’t have all night, I walked here from the subway station 15 minutes from here and I need to get back home...”

“The government contacted the company. They’ve been looking to see if any of my employees are affiliated with Jane Sato or know anything about The 1989 Project. I’ve heard that you’re one of the few people that haven’t been officially cleared by the SRMA recently.” He cleared his throat. “Do you know anything about it?”

“No, not a thing...” You deadpanned, eyes going between your hands and the live band in the background. You were starting to get that feeling again, the same feeling you felt the night you saw him, the icy burn at the tip of your fingers, and the pit of your stomach.

“And honestly, I don’t believe in that stuff. The whole Zoe Hawn case seemed like the government had too much to do with it. Put a feral looking failed experiment on the TV and everyone wants to get tested, it’s a hoax. Those hybrids, experiments- Whatever they're called, they have nothing to do with me. I don’t want to have anything to do with them either.”

He reached into his pocket, pulling out a folded piece of paper. “So, does this not look familiar to you?” You reached for it, fingers grazing it lightly before you gradually opened it up. A photo—a photo of a bunch of doctors and scientists, you weren’t sure. Your eyes scanned the individuals in the picture and you frowned.

Your gaze turned cold. “Where did you get this...”

“These are the doctors and scientist involved in the 1989 project, I got it from a physician I know. He thought I should show it to some of my employees. Do any of them look familiar?” He tilted his head, doe eyes too round and distracting for you at the moment.

You gulped. “No.”

He moved to grasp the photo. “I just thought you might’ve-...”

“I don’t know who any of those people are.”

A spark ignited from the tip of your fingers.

When your hands touched, it was as if a white light engulfed his vision and an achingly loud thump reverberated in your ears, you yanked your hand away instantly. There was no denying that you felt something and you didn’t like it. He stared up at you, lips parted in shock as you mirrored his expression but in a rigid manner. Your teeth dug into your bottom lip, probably drawing blood, and for the second time around him, your anxiety decided to devour you from the inside out.

“I-...I’m leaving.” You abruptly pushed away from the table and stormed out of the club, photo in hand.

“Hey! Wait!” He ran behind you, trying not to lose you since you were already halfway down the sidewalk. You retained a steady pace of running but you could tell he was hot on your trail, you could run down to the subway and try to lose him there but you hated getting on the subway at this hour.

You swiftly shoved the photo in your pocket and bolted down the alleyway. For a moment, you paused so you could catch your breath, leaning back against the rough brick walls and letting your eyelids flutter closed. Why is this happening to me and why now? You managed to calm yourself from the constant pound of your heartbeat. When you heard panting, you slowly opened your eyes.

He caged you, his eyes boring into your soul.

Your eyes widened, jumping back to run away but he seized your wrists. “Leave me alone!” 

“Why did you run?!” He seethed, trying to stay calm. “Calm down, shh!” The words leaving his throat like a suppressed cough. You pushed at his chest, trying not to look him in the eye. “Stop trying to run away! Listen to me, please.” It was a firm plea, one you had never heard from anyone before. “If you’d just let me explain-”

You weren’t having it.

“Why won’t you just leave me alone?!” You jerked away, getting away from the wall so you could make a run for it but you felt a sharp pain in your head. You hunched over, clutching your forehead in your hands. “Ah...” You winced, your breathing unsteady and your stance shaky. The throbbing had increased and your vision was beginning to get blurry. 

Taehyung reached out to you, his hand gripping your arms. “Y/n, stop fighting it...”

“Get the hell away from me!-“ You were pulling away, hitting, clawing at his arms and everything to get him to let you go. Despite your resistance, he wrapped his arms around you, his body being so close had made your pulse skyrocket. This was too much, it physically, emotionally, mentally, pained you the more you tried to getaway. 

“Please, don’t fight me-” He tried to speak calmly but it was hard when you insisted on thrashing about. “S-stop fighting me, I’m not gonna hurt you, you can trust me,” His heart sank when he saw that look in your eyes, the look of an innocent creature in pain—you were scared. “We’re the same.”

“N-no, leave me alone,” Your stance wavered and you fell silent, tears building at your eyes. You were on the verge of sobbing. “Just leave me alone, I can’t be around you...”

There was so much energy emanating around you, through your bones. You could feel everything—you could hear everything. The buzz of street lights, bickering old couples on the top floor of this old apartment, honking horns of impatient drivers, a sobbing teen curled up on a cold tile floor. It was as if all living things were coursing through you—a razor-sharp current of light and darkness stabbing you from the inside out. 

The sound of something cracking, the sound so unbearably familiar that he found it difficult to physically control himself. 

“Y/n, don’t fight it...it’s okay...” His hands clung to your lower back and the back of your neck, keeping you anchored against him, your hands still pushing him away. His lips parted, a shaky breath leaving his mouth when you tensed. 

“I know...I feel it too.”

Absolute darkness, dull obscurations ravaged your sight and you fell limp—you blacked out. 

[stillthewordgirl]

LOT/CC fic: Thief and Assassin (Seven chapters of 12)

Leonard is the head of the Centralis Thieves Guild. Sara, unexpectedly, has found herself the head of the Assassins Guild. To save their city and the kingdom, they'll have to work together-and they might find themselves falling for each other in the process.

So, barely two weeks ago, I was thinking about all the fantasy books I used to read and still love. And the germ of an idea started-what about a CaptainCanary fantasy AU? Thieves and assassins are fantasy staples, after all. What, I thought on my commute home that day, if Leonard and Sara were the heads of the Thieves and Assassins Guilds, respectively, and had to work together to save their city?

And this happened. I'm posting seven chapters now, with four more and an epilogue to come soon. (Three more chapters are done and the rest are close.) I adore this AU, and I hope you do, too!

Many thanks to @larielromeniel for the beta and @pir8grl for reading, encouragement and many tips on useful clothing and setting-type things! For @dragonydreams

I’m just posting Chapter One here, since I posted so much at once. Full chapters posted here on AO3 and here at FF.net.

“Boss!”

Leonard, who’d been leaning back and contemplating the old fire-blackened beams overhead while balancing a dagger on one calloused fingertip, let his chair thump back to the floor, raising an eyebrow as his second in command thundered up the stairs and into his office. Mick tended not to run anywhere for nearly anyone these days, so this must be good…or bad, as the case may be.

His old friend halted in the doorway, catching his breath and grunting as Leonard merely looked at him with an inquiring expression. But Len didn’t speak, and Mick quickly got tired of waiting for his boss to ask.

“There’s a new head of the Assassins Guild,” he said shortly, folding his arms. “An’ she did it like you—the old way.”

That was…not even remotely news Len had expected. He’d admit that his mouth fell open, but he quickly closed it—although not before Mick saw the expression of shock and smirked victoriously.

Len ignored the expression but climbed to his feet, straightening his black tunic and thinking furiously.

“Then Darhk…”

“Is dead.” Mick actually grinned. “As a doornail. Cold meat. All that stuff. I think some of the junior Guild members threw ‘im off the South Gate cliffs.”

Given Darhk’s appetites and what he’d done to the once-respected Centralis Assassins Guild, Len wasn’t really surprised. But he was more concerned about other things at the moment.

“Her, you said.” he frowned thoughtfully. “Someone local?” He doesn’t know of anyone currently in the Guild, male or female, both or neither, who’d be able to take Darhk. If he did, things would have been different long before now. He’d have seen to that.

“Word is no. Newcomer to the city.” Mick paused. “From what I hear, I don’ think she knew what she was doing.”

Len paused in tucking a few stilettos up his sleeves. “She didn’t mean to kill him?”

“Nah. That, she meant. She didn’t know it would make her Guild head.” He shook his head. “Or…so Sarab said. I was down at Saints n’ Sinners when he came in. It’s still quiet…but it will be all over the city soon.”

Len winced, reaching out to collect his dagger from the desk. With a quick spin, he sheathed it at his belt. “That…”

“That could be real good--or real bad.” Mick nodded. “You wanna talk to her, boss? ‘Fore it all crashes in on her?”

Len paused, eyes fixed on the other item on his desk.

He remembered. He remembered what it was like…the determined challenger, the terrible Guild head who seemed hellbent on destroying everything that made the Guild system in Centralis work, the knowledge that loss meant death, and a particularly brutal one--and the realization that, even after victory, the hard work was just beginning.

“Yeah,” he said, picking up his Guild emblem and lowering the heavy platinum chain over his head, wrapping long fingers around the snowflake-shaped sapphire depending from it. “I do.”

Sara A’Stella, Ta-er al-Sahfar, master assassin, newly made Guild head in Centralis, was slowly, methodically, banging her head against the smooth, dark surface of her new desk.

Not hard enough to hurt herself, oh no. But enough to distract herself, from what she’d blundered into here and what she’d done to her future when she did.

She doesn’t regret killing Damien Darhk. She’d spent barely three days in Centralis and had known nearly immediately what needed to be done. But she hadn’t realized what that death, at her hands, would mean here.

Her fingers closed around the chain of the Guild emblem around her neck. The nearly black stone had belonged to Darhk, although Sara would be expected to get her own stone soon. The sooner the better—she hated having something that Darhk had owned on her person.

But what a new emblem would mean…

“Sara!” Amaya A’Zambesi, Sara’s dearest friend, who’d accompanied her to Centralis and thus gotten herself embroiled in this whole mess, too, poked her head in the door and frowned. “Stop that!” She paused, and Sara could very nearly hear her snicker. “You’re going to damage that very nice desk.”

Sara let her forehead rest on the surface. “If I knock myself out,” she pointed out thoughtfully, “I won’t have to deal with anything for a while.”

She heard Amaya sigh. Her friend, whom she’d met while traveling, wasn’t, properly speaking, an assassin, though she was a very talented warrior and mage—where she came from, the traditions weren’t always separated. Still, she’d made it clear to the members of the Assassins Guild that she wasn’t leaving Sara’s side, proper assassin or not, and Sara was beyond grateful for that.

“Well, here’s another reason to stop, then,” Amaya said then, just a bit tartly. “The head of Thieves Guild is here to meet you—to ‘pay his respects,’ he says.”  She paused as Sara lifted her head to stare at her, then smirked. “He’s quite attractive, actually. And very highly respected, from all I’ve heard.”

Sara sat up hastily, running a hand over the pale braids pinned up to her head and checking her clothing. After the battle early this morning, she’d scrubbed for what seemed like an hour and sent the clothing she’d been wearing off to be burned. She still didn’t feel entirely clean.

She wasn’t sure she ever would again.

Amaya’s eyes were sympathetic as Sara glanced back at her and cleared her throat. If something were amiss, Amaya would have said something, Sara knew. But she also understood.

“That was quick,” Sara said after a moment.

“Thieves always have the best sources of information.” Amaya paused. “His second’s with him. You…”

“You’re my second.” Sara stood, trying to sound uncompromising.

“Not an assassin,” Amaya reminded her. “The Guild…”

“Tough. They’ll have to live with it for now.” Sara shook her head. “I’m not taking anyone who had any kind of position of power under Darhk just because ‘that’s how things were always done.’ That’s how they got Darhk to begin with.” She hesitated. “Thieves Guilds traditionally work together with the Assassins Guild. I know we haven’t been here long, but…”

Amaya was shaking her head. “Not here.” She nibbled her lip. “I have done some asking. There hasn’t been that sort of arrangement here at least since Leonard took over the Thieves Guild. No love lost.”

That can only be a good thing. “Leonard,” she mused. “No patrial?” And no patronym, although those are rare, only given by high nobility or royalty to families for services to the kingdom.

Sara doesn’t use hers.

Amaya shrugged. “A’Centralis, I presume, although he didn’t give one.” She eyed Sara. “And you probably shouldn’t keep him waiting any longer.”

Sara waved a hand. “All right. Uh. Do I go down to him, or…”

Of course, Amaya had already found all that out. “I’ll send him to you. But be standing until he gets here, or you’re treating him like a supplicant.”

“Can’t have that.”

Amaya gave her one more encouraging smile, then departed. Sara fidgeted a little, looking around as she stood there in Damien Darhk’s old office, wondering how this had become her life.

She’d come to Centralis to join the Guild here because it was relatively close to Stella, and she couldn’t go back there—not yet. She hadn’t known that a mad man had taken over the Guild, that he was ruling it with an iron fist (and not in a good way), that she’d regret her decision to join nearly immediately and plan to leave—until she’d walked in on him “disciplining” three apprentices early this morning when she arrived to turn in her Guild token.

Two of the kids hadn’t made it. The third was still holding on. Everyone had known Darhk had a touch of magic—many people did. But until then, Sara hadn’t realized it took the form of blood magic.

There was a quiet step at the doorway. Sara looked up, trying to look both receptive and deadly. She knew she was both, but it was different trying to exude that.

The head of the Centralis Thieves Guild was a tall man with close-shaven graying hair and piercing blue eyes, eyes that were looking directly at her with an intent and curious expression. Amaya was right, Sara realized, eying him: He was attractive, graceful and poised with lean but undeniable muscle. Older--Sara put him at about 10 years her senior—but definitely attractive. Sexy, even.

And that was so completely not what she should be thinking right now.

Sara cleared her throat. “Hello,” she said quietly. “I’m Ta-er…Sara A’Stella. And I suppose that you know by now that…” She spread her hands, indicating the office around her. “…I’m the new head of the Assassins Guild.”

The man regarded her another moment, then inclined his head, those remarkable eyes still holding hers.

“Thank you,” he said quietly, his voice low and intense and every bit as attractive as the physical aspect. Damn.

Still, the words weren’t what she was expecting. “Excuse me?”

“For taking out Darhk.” The man shrugged, a one-shouldered gesture, as he took one step into the office, pausing before going far enough to connote any sort of threat. “I’d dreamed of doing it myself, but….” He let his voice trail off, then shrugged again, smirking at her.

“Anyway,” he drawled, spreading his hands out before him just like she had. “Leonard. Head of the Thieves Guild. A’Centralis, but I generally just use ‘Len.’”

Sara lifted her chin, watching him, wondering what he was thinking. “Len,” she returned. “And why is that?”

The question was imprecise, and she regretted it immediately, but Len zeroed right in on what she really meant—and chose to answer it.

“Because he was bad for the guild and bad for this city,” he said flatly, looking her right in the eyes. “Really bad. I did whatever I could to counteract it. But there was only so much, and…” He let both shoulders rise and fall. “I had my own to watch out for.”

“Your own.”

“My guild.” For the first time, there was a crack in that smooth façade. Sara, watching, saw anger and determination and even a touch of regret in those ice-blue eyes. “I took it 10 years ago. In the old way—same as you.”

The old… “You killed your predecessor.”

“I did.” Len dipped his head. “And for much the same reasons. But…I knew what I was getting into. I don’t believe you did.”

Was it that obvious? Well, to anyone who hadn’t been there when a Guild member had moved to give her Darhk’s chain and emblem and Sara, still covered in blood and with a sword in her hand, had recoiled?

There seemed to be no point in denying it, though. “I didn’t.” She tipped her head to him. “In…in most places I’ve been, there would have been a vote after the dust had cleared. I figured I’d just…remove my name from contention. I didn’t realize Centralis went by the old ways.”

There was…no, not sympathy, thank gods…in Len’s eyes. Understanding, though. “Then why,” he asked quietly, “did you do it?”

If he knew as much as he had shown so far, he probably knew this too. But Sara can understand why he would want to hear it from her.

“I walked in on Darhk practicing black magic,” she told him bluntly, folding her arms, watching him carefully. “On three apprentices who’d flubbed a mission. Because of his shoddy training practices and handling of Guild matters, but that didn’t matter to him. He was taking their life energy.” She sighed. “Two of them are dead anyway. We’re not sure about the third.”

He had an excellent card-sharp’s face, did this Leonard, but he either let her see his thoughts or didn’t care to hide them at the moment. Satisfaction, regret, and a cold, cold fury chased each other across his features until they resolved into determination. He stared off into the distance a moment, then nodded firmly and transferred that blue gaze back to Sara.

“The Thieves and Assassins Guild traditionally work together, in most cities,” he told her. “That hasn’t been the case here since I took over--and then refused to deal with Darhk.” He nodded. “I’d be honored to try to reestablish that alliance…with the Guild under you.”

Despite the seriousness, was there something suggestive in that tone, in those words? Oh, Sara thought there was. But to her own surprise, it didn’t anger her or even annoy her, although by all rights the presumption should.

She liked Leonard. Liked him with an instinctive and surprising thoroughness. He had a thief’s caution, but her instincts told her that he’d spoken truth to her and, what was more, shown her truth in his own unconcealed expressions.

She made her decision right then and there. But he didn’t need to know that yet.

Instead, Sara lifted an eyebrow at him. “You don’t even know me,” she returned.

A quick smirk, and Len leaned forward. “I’m a very good judge of character,” he drawled.

Sara, trying not to smile, smirked back. “We shall see.”

“I look forward to it.” And then, with a wink, Len rose again to his full height and became serious again. “You know you’ll have to be formally presented to King Hunter and the captains of the Triple Guards,” he told her. “Soon: within the next 48 candlemarks.” He paused. “I’ll sponsor you, if you wish. But if you don’t, they’ll presume you might not be planning to abide by the usual set of rules.”

Sara stared at him, then sighed. She hated court functions. But he didn’t need to know that or how she knew it. “And Darhk did?”

“He knew how to play the game. It gave him a measure of safety.” Len hesitated, eyes still serious. “Trust me when I tell you that Hunter will be pleased. Even a monarch can’t just remove a Guild head. And there had been threats made to his son…”

Hunter? Sara didn’t realize she’d murmured the name out loud until Leonard lifted an eyebrow at her. She shook her head. “I’ll never get over just how…how mainstream the so-called Lower Guilds are here,” she told him. “You call the king by his patronym?”

Len’s lips twitched, and Sara saw mischief in his eyes. “Mostly that’s just to annoy him,” he told her. “But, yes.” He shrugged. “Thieves and assassins happen. Especially in any sizable city. Best to have them regulated and trained and policing themselves. It’s worked here for a long, long time.”

“Until a Damien Darhk happens,” Sara reminded him.

Len tipped his head to her. “Until then,” he agreed, then changed the subject. “I’d be honored to sponsor you in front of the king. You took power this morning; if you are going to play by the rules, we should probably go to court tomorrow afternoon, if not tonight.” A look of distaste crossed his features. “I’m not a fan of evening court; too much posturing. Afternoon’s bad enough.”

“Tomorrow is fine.” If she can’t find a way out of this by then, she never will.

“You’ll need court formal garb.” He rather too obviously avoided studying her worn leathers, perfectly serviceable for every day, but hardly impressive.

Sara rolled her eyes, inspecting his own unrelieved black. The starkness of the outfit contrasted with the cut, which she knew perfectly well was tailored and would not have been cheap. Her fellow Guild head knew he looked damned good—and may have been trying to impress her.

“I can handle that,” she informed him. Or, more correctly, Amaya would. “And…thank you. I do appreciate the offer.”

A flicker of something in those amazing eyes again.  “Believe me when I tell you, Sara…” Argh, the way he said her name! “…that it’s my pleasure.”

For all the suggestiveness in the tone, there was a very real thread of sincerity too. Sara dipped her head, agreed to wait here for him at two candlemarks after noon the next day, and watched as he turned for the door.

She didn’t realize that she was going to tell him until she did it.

“Someone put him into power. Darhk,” she said, watching those impressive shoulders under the night-black tunic freeze. “Someone’s been pulling strings. There’s something rotten going on in this city.”

After a long moment, Len looked back at her. “I suspected that,” he said quietly. “But…we’ll talk?”

“Yes.”

And with that, the head of the Centralis Thieves Guild left her office, more questions than answers in his wake. Sara thoughtfully watched him go—and wasn’t ashamed that she admired the ass in those tight black pants—then sank down into the chair with a sigh.

“This is either going to be a lot of fun,” she murmured, thinking of Leonard and his sexy voice and his friendly innuendo. “Or an utter disaster.”

Keep reading here at AO3 or here at FF.net.

[bonbonswirl-blog]

Old passer

ALL THE CHARACTERS BELONG TO @brueklynn I OWN NOTHING. You already know this is not canon, i want to point out that there is a character here that belongs to toony BUT doesnt have any kind of design or personality so i created them myself for this story XD means the anything here is not canon at all, that it thank u ^^

Wallaby was standing outside in front of a random store under shade. There he is, standing alone, tapping the ground under him with one foot, his hands in his pants pockets while looking bored. At these fine balmy days, almost every eye hides behind sunglasses and hair flows freely in the breeze, erratic steps echo. The janitor Penetrating gaze probed Perusing the sea of faces, like if he is looking for someone he was supposed to meet up with ages ago and they never came, now he is still here waiting for their arrival at any second. If only time can pass faster, or if he had something to entertain himself away from this killing boredom instead of leaving him to dwell with it. Letting his eyes roam over the streets, he just moved his head right and left checking if one of those faces is the person he meant to meet. However, he didnt know that few moments later something going to etch insidr his memory is going to take place right now. It was the moment when he noticed one of the passers being a lady, a normal lady, just like all the other ladies in the streets. but for some unknown reason, he felt something being off, her presence pulling his attention away from any other person.

Long fluid wisps of chocolate hair that always seemed to gleam when it  captured the light just right. Large liquid blue eyes held such a serenity, trimmed by long pretty lashes, lovely eyes, yet somehow seem gentle. Florid cheeks and flawlessly syrup sweet sculpted lips was lilac soft. She was all about simplicity, holding a small bag in her hands, wearing a short cute bright flowing dress, walking like an elegant lady.

And still for today, wallaby have no idea what was it in his guts that forced him to move his legs as fast as he can to approach her before she get any further away and dissappear from sight.

"E-Excuse me miss!" She turned around, facing wallaby who was holding his flatcap in his hands, waiting for his request. He looked at her with confused eyes, of course he would be, he doesnt know why is he even talking to her from tha first place, what does his guts want from a  random person he never saw? "Yes sir?" She smiled, lipstick glowing. She had a soothing voice, atleast thats what wallaby thought, she seemed nice, that kind of woman whom hold a tiny warmth within eyes. Those eyes...just by looking at this pair he can see one of his gazes in them. That evoked something from some part of his brain, He had no memory of her, atleast thats what he thinks, cause he doesnt recall any. Perhaps its not a memory per se, but echoes that call to his intuition. He started to think he may recognize her before, maybe he did neet her at one point in his life? maybe that was the reason why his legs automatically moved to catch her? Yes, it was, he can tell. Her simple smile was unique, reminded him of a certain smile too. he could have swore he saw it a lot, but where? when? And who? He was anxious for recognition he never knew. "I..." the janitor had no absolute idea of what to say when stopping a stranger for no reason, but he tried to come with a good excuse so he doesnt seem like a fool. How about..the reason he approached her from the first place? Why he ran to her before he lost her view. "Miss did we...did we meet before somewhere?" "We did? Oh Im sorry but, I dont think i do remember..." she apologized, wallaby didnt feel sad or dissapointed because she was just a stranger to him, but his inside did. She doesnt know him too, he can now let her go away right? Nope, that answer didnt calm his guts down, his tongue isnt satisfied with it. He looked at her again. Noticing smooth Bangs obscuring the woman forhead, framing her face. what is so intresting is that.

Her bangs are just like wallaby ones.

That was a nice detail, but all wallaby wanted is to sooth those unknown feelings and go back quickly to waiting for a certain person. "Are you sure? cuz I do feel that we may had knew each other at some point. I mean come on! Our bangs are really so similiar missy!"

So how can wallaby know a lady who is 20 years older than him? Dont ask him, ask his gut. it was still impossible for him not to be held prisoner by the intuitons. but there was undeniable familiarity to her features, possibly thats what held him so captivated. she giggled slightly "I just noticed that too...even our hair color is the same shade! Staring at your eye...I feel myself looking at a mirror! So..whats your name? Maybe I can remember you then!" "Oh! My name is-"

They both stopped when they heard objects hitting the floor with a loud thud.

They both turned their heads for the source of the voice, to their right concerned. It was a man with short dark brown hair, ruddy skin, a flatcap, standing there. Frozen, arms still static in the same position he left his belongings to fall down.

Wallaby was puzzled. His father constantly welcomed any kind of guest he met with kind smiles and  words. He never gave that kind of a shocked reaction to anyone before, especially for just meeting a random lady. His child himself didnt see him that shocked before about anything. But he tried to push it off for now and get back to the subject. "Oh dad Here you are! This is m-" He was cut too when he saw the woman next to him no longer smiling, soft glowy lipstick in a frown, not being too happy to see his father. Drown in her unwanted sad moments, lowered Dull orbs of ocean blocked under the dark shadow created of her fallen bangs, her expressions faded, the molten chocolate that hung precisely on her back turning dry, cheery dress no longer dancing with the breeze. The brown haired boy doesnt understand a thing... unsettling feelings began filling him. Whats wrong? Why are they both That greetly dissapointed? What making his head spin are the unexplained transitions. Who is she? What does she have to do with his dad? He wished he could Leap straight for the answer.

Mason already felt the knife before he saw it. Looking at the girl wallaby just met in a forlorn stare. He didnt blink and in the depths of his gaze, he couldnt believe his eyes anymore. He looked into her eyes one more second to make sure this isnt the wrong person or some hallucinations haunting him.

It was his partner

Or you could say his previous partner.

His shoulders hunched together like if he was trying to disappear inside himself. Even his dark eyes seemed to be attempting to retreat inside his head.

"...Lucy...."

"...You...."

She couldnt even remember his name. Expected. Why would she do anyway? Mason can still recognize her voice, even though its been...very long years since he last heard it, or seen her face...She wasnt that girl he loved, who cared about his being, or encouraged him to do his best in achieving dreams. No, she is just an old passer from his old life. The old lucy was long gone. Lucy snutched up an eye to finally take a glance at her once spouse. Looking at each other, Both of them had changed, yet still identifiable, funny how much tricky the time is. they realised that the eyes whose were once filled with so much purpose and love was now replaced with bitterness, and maybe hate. The only thing that showed any resemblance to the man was the shell the bitter soul inhabited. His old self was gone too. Mason never left anyone, they walked away. In his life he had been the sunshine, giving warmth, light and love without reserve, Yet there came a time when the pain within overwhelmed and only tears came. Her abandonment was like a betrayal to him, a burning to his soul, a dusty hot road on which his mind and body can wither. He had lost the one he loved the most in the world, the one who had kept him stable for periods in his life time. The near loss of everyone he had loved wasnt emotionally stabling to him. Only his son wallaby stayed, refusing to leave his dear father side. It was never an exciting blank page, a fresh start, or a choice to mason, but more akin of being naked in a blizzard. Lucy guessed she should do something about this stifled silence, to break it with a move, It is her own job to find an easful air around herself, so she made it towards him with an outstretch hand and that kind of desponded face usually reserved for your dissatisfaction. But mason startled like a deer in the woods, almost toppling as he took a large step backwards, entire face glowed up with pain and anguish. He let his face fall with gravity again. stepping aside while he slunk past not looking left or right, Leaving wallaby and his own regrets behind, alone. Wallaby wasnt ok at this point, blankly staring at the path his dad toke until distance obscured, hurt was welling in his son eyes, his dad looked broken. Lucy...lucy...Where did he hear that name before? Its repeated in his head many times, mentioned there and audiable by only one voice, his father voice. He unglued his eyes from the path and returned a stare for the woman in hopes for a small claricifation. She sighted him out from the corner of her eye, unable to look at him anymore. "So you..." "Miss..I-" "dont tell me that your name is wallaby...." He got it.

He finally got it.

That woman is his mother.

His Absent mother.

His heart jolts in pain. His jaw went slack with dumbfounded, eyes resigned surprise, brain stutters for a moment and his eyes take in more light than he expected, every part of him goes on pause while his thoughts catch up. Memories started to flood in every blood vessel in his brain, all of them are his five years old self, a beautifull young woman tugging along his side, she is nobody else but his mother lucy. All those stale pictures and voices clinging to his mind at a once. He can now recall them all. It was like he was living those moments, or visualizing them. Set of warm hands he would let hold him own clapping together before holding him off the ground and spinning his small body in the air, voice cradle his mind in familiar sounds, her soothing him from losing his favorite balloon or humming her favorite song at the kitchen. He still remember their last time playing together before the next day, he saw her with suitcases in hand, vanishing through the door, never coming back. For the first while he felt lost with not a single place feeling like home. However happiness found its way back thanks to mason treasured love. Time after time her presence in his life was erased. At this moment here, where he is meeting his mother for the first time after growing up. He felt that a part of his brain Where there should be certain memories is blank space, like a soft beige wall bereft of photographs. After a wash of cold he stepped out from the shadows and highlights of sundown. blazing sun descended, burning the sky in a powerful mix of amber and blood red. The dying sunlight seeped out behind sillhouet. Lucy spun around with her heals, back already facing wallaby in neglect, ready to go far away and leave him, again, in the same day he just met her. The rhythm of her heels clicking against the hard streets floor didnt stop wallaby from uttering his words. "Why did you leave dad?..." She paused her footsteps. "Why did you leave me?.." she stayed silent. How could she answer this? "You werent worth it, wallaby." He was raked with disdain, His eyes glistened with the pain of her betrayal, leaving wallaby with no alternative but to seek a new suspect of more harm, the truth of her innocence is discovered.

"You two were just old passers in my old life. Im glad l didnt waste it in you." Nobody around was heard, just continual taps of heels heading to a straight way. Stepping on her son heart each time they connect to the ground. Her kid steadily tracking her road until she completly escaped over the horizon. His eyes allowed her reluctantly to go past that orange lane, he was unsure about how should he feel about this new memory.

As the daylight dwindled the tension in Skye grew. Mason was in a slight crowded area in a specific street, Standing there on his own, doing nothing but giving a thousand mile stare into space, somehow the noised around doesnt affect any bit of his focusing. Wallaby had found him after taking some time for searching around, reaching him to be by his side. He never even said a single "hey..." to him. Instead, they both kept walking home in a queit sunset. Mason made no attempt to speak the whole way. Apparently, his young boy had expected this, as he kept shut too, mostly cause he didnt know what to say in this situation. Heavy sighs gracing each few minuts passes from the father mouth, did his eyes shine with the terror of his memories. Empty, yet They told a story of sadness, The dark lines around them didnt help much. He didnt mean to fall in love with lucy, but he did anyway, From the very first time he talked to her, he knew there was something so true in this person that reassure him he could be the true him. If only he had enough cohesion power to describe what happened that day to his loved son wallaby, but right now This was mason burden, his kid shouldnt be sharing it with him. His steps were dragged and movements forced. While the companion was down in the dumps, an inkling of wistfulness glimmer in soft eyes dropped to the corners. He fixed his eye toward the sky, wallaby always admired sunsets. But tonight, he felt blue, curbed. Not wanting to think about anything and just get back home to rest from this long day.

At nightfall the heat of the day would evaporate along with the last sunrays. At that night wallaby closed his eyes, head pressed on a soft pillow. hoping for sleep to take him away from this thing called reality. The darkness overtook him slowly, and he fell asleep. But For the first time, Little tears falling from his face.

[altonadventures]

ALTON ADVENTURES BIG ANNOUNCEMENT

So...because its Friday and I usually update AA on Fridays, I figured it was time to make my big announcement! 

And that is...that Alton Adventures is changing. A little bit. 

Am I rebooted the comic again? No haha! Once I get back to it it shall continue as normal but some characters may look a bit different going forward. 

Who may those characters be?

Sir Gareth Nemesis 

Why is he changing? 

Sir Nemesis’ change is actually less drastic than one may think. For starters, he needed a design rehaul. I wanted his armor to be more simple, easier to draw but with still details that could tie him to Nemesis (the green eye, the arms, the light pink details instead of inconsistent tentacles). I also had an issue where his hair was too close to his skin color, so to combat this I turned him into a ginger! His eye color also changed from gold to green, another thing to visually tie him more to Nemesis. 

So yes, I changed Sir Nem’s design because I was unhappy with it. His armor was never drawn consistently ever, I was constantly changing the tone of his hair and his skin so that was inconsistent. I want my designs to be more consistent and polished going forward.

What else is different? Well, you can probably tell he looks much more serious, like in older pictures I drew of him. Why is that? Well, I was kind of..honestly tired of his role as the “dad character tm” that he kind of turned out to be. It almost undermined his true characterization and turned him into a typical over the top exaggerated hero character. And I started to realize how much I missed his original concept. A battle hardened solider that was filled with regret and remorse, who heavily sympathizes with the plight of the alien he’s locked in combat with. He’s still much a father however, as he has a biological son and adopts an alien who mimics his likeness (hence another reason he’s a ginger now as his Nemesis daughter always was one). He’s just returned to his roots as a character. Because I felt that characterization was a unique one for the Nemesis ride. And it was an idea I really loved. Sir Nemesis actually WAS one of my favorite characters...I wanted his role to be much larger than it is in the comics. I don’t blame anyone for him becoming a joke, I did initially kind of fuel the fire for it, I’m just hoping that its not to late to get back to the Sir Nemesis I originally wanted to write. And of course, all my characters are still meme and joke worthy. I just want to tackle much more serious issues with my comic and show the more serious side of some of my characters and don’t want there entire existence to be a joke Mr.S can’t have too many folks 1 uping him in the laughs department!  I guess to note with this change that his original voice claim has also been solidified as well. It’s a more somber and serious tone that I feel fits him as a character. 

Final Notes 

Sir Nemesis is a character that I have a lot of thought put into. His backstory is tragic, emotional, and his character is complex and he’s not the perfect hero people might image him as. I plan for his Arc to follow the Fireworks arc in the comic, as well as I am planning to start some more text heavy short stories about how the Secret Weapons became Secret Weapons (which I will likely call Secret Weapon Short Stories hehe) and will be writing his first. Also a very important thing i must address. Yes, the eye on his chest moves. (I have a gif but it doesn’t want to work on this post Ill have it up later ><)

Erica Annabelle Cloud 

ooof okay this is a huge one. Confession time. Erica was always my least favorite character. Why? She just had...no character. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with her, her design felt phoned in and there because I needed an Air/Galatica character, (yes, she is changing as her Galatica stage too). She was just. not well thought out. She had a dual identity but I think a lot of people didn’t pick up on that? She felt like a Rita 2.0 as just a nice and friendly optimistic person and literally had 0 backstory. Originally she was supposed to have had some sort of accident that turned her into Galatica and she had memory loss and forgotten about when she was Air, yeah it was a mess. That eventually just turned into Nebula Corona being a character she made up (bc her one trait was that she was into space and wrote a lot) that she played as when her rides themeing changed. 

She was just..barely a character and her design was abysmal (Her Galatica suit was okay but her Air outfit was an afterthought) She needed a massive visual upgrade. A sleeker flight suit that makes more sense (I used a ref or two for this design!) A different face shape to help her stand out more, my signature they wear glasses they have dot eyes look. Long, wispy, flowing hair to resemble those trails planes make. A bit more lanky and tall. And let me tell you I LOVE her design now. It looks so much more unique and you can just SEE she has so much more character now!  As for her characterization im going full into her being a nerd. A very tech nerd at that! She designed her suit to help her fly at her best, and eventually will be the one that designs and builds all her Galatica tech! Her Galatica design hasn’t been done yet, mostly bc I wanted to focus on her current comic canon design, but not much would change I feel with her upgrade anyways! She is effectively the brains of the group, and the others often turn to her for plans of attack when dealing with a situation, or innovative solutions to problems! I have yet to get a voice claim for her, but im sure one will come to me soon enough! 

Final Notes

Erica/Nebula was a character I struggled to connect with. Everyone else had Airs that were either super plot important, or just much more cool and creative in general. I felt, that with my Air/Galatica she was just there, and I wanted her to be more. So a full character rehaul was done with her and it makes me so happy. She feels much more fleshed out, better designed, and I’m super excited to do more stuff with her, and hopefully you will all see her much more now that I’m a lot happier with her as a character! <3 

Welp that's the end of the updates....wait. Hold on. I have something written here. What could this be? Oh! I remember now! 

Black Hole, AkA Beatrix, will be joining the MAIN CAST of Alton Adventures! 

When I drew my Black Hole design, I knew she was something special. She stands out compared to a lot of my characters, and her design SCREAMS main character. While the biggest main roles will still be held by Mr. S and Rita, I wanted to add another non SW coaster to the main crew, and because Canonically Corkscrew is MIA, Black Hole seemed like a fitting addition to the main crew! As she isn’t human, a species literally only referred to as Black Holes, I thought making her a main character and giving her a big arc would help flesh out the reality of non humans in Alton Adventures! Her powers and design and character and personality are just too fun to shove her into the background. I feel that adding her to the main cast gives them not only another character to support them, but a closer friend! You will all see her much more in the future for certain! 

Well that's about it! In terms of comic updates themselves...its still going to be hiatus as long as I’m being swamped with school work. I hope you all understand. I’ll try to squeeze in updates over the breaks I have IF im not working on assignments for class. As I also said, I wanna do short stories as well, to expand the world and explain it better, as a comic will only develop the world so quickly and lots of you have tons of questions! I also wanna do something animated at some point, that’s my dream. I’ve ALSO mentioned to some people about merch, likely going for making stickers first since that's simple. I got an excited reaction for that so I’ll come up with designs for them soon! I just wanna do a lot with Alton Adventures, because I know how much it means to people, and of course it means so much. Goodness I really need to actually get to this park, I look quiet silly constantly gushing over a themepark I’ve never been to all the time XP  That all aside I thank you all for sticking by me. I promise that even if I don’t do comic updates as frequently during the school year, I’ll still work to push out as much AA content I can outside of that! I’m always open to suggestions to what you guys want to see! ALSO, working on a big google doc spreadsheet with info on all the characters I’ll be posting when its more completed! So be on the lookout for that! 

Again thank you to everyone who’s stuck with me through this, Your support makes me feel nothing but proud of what I’ve created. These characters may have been created out of something some may consider silly or odd, but the only thing that matters to me if that I can make at least someone happy with what I create. 

Patreon (note that patrons got to see all of this content as it was being worked on!) l Ko-fi

[pinkchannies]

cheesier than cheesecake

i got inspired to write this on my 5 hours flight to hong kong bcz i ate cake on my way to the airport and miraculously wrote this on my flight in one go

also heading to hong kong eh wink wink nudge nudge @ agust d //slapped

well here's a jin oneshot because kim seokjin is my number one man and bias in bts and we need some shoulder man love in our lives amirite

laksndowxjoe i couldn't post this earlier bECAUSE WIFI AND MY COM WASN'T COOPERATING :(( sob well ok here i am posting it now LMAO bless wifi pls live

genre:  fluff , is this considered comedy, crack has slipped into this fic again

requested:  no 

pairing:  seokjin x reader

author notes: reader is a baking/walking disaster bcz mood, jin screaming and being a mama hen, idk how i wrote this in just one flight, chiru probably needs creative writing classes at this point, how do you come up with good titles

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the clock read, 2.09am. i groaned. it was one of those days again. or rather, one of those nights. of grueling hunger and cravings. and there was one way to solve it(or make it worse) without actually eating. though it may not be the best way. do u kno da wae-chiru get out i snatched my phone from my bedside table and loaded instagram, heading straight to the buzzfeedtasty instagram account. yes, tasty. the number one guilty pleasure where their food looks so good even with the simplest ingrediants, and when you recreate it it somehow looks like shit. or maybe i'm just a shitty cook. or maybe plating food to make it look aesthetically pleasing is just that difficult. or maybe both. to "satisfy" this sudden craving for sweets, i started watching videos of their deserts. god help me they look so good. the way the cream cheese blends with sugar and turns into a smooth white paste under the electric mixer, with heavy cream added to that mix and that generous teaspoon of vanilla essence that you can literally smell (jin: mMMMm sMELL) through your phone, those cheesecakes and oreos and cream and just all that fattening goodness- y'all this whole instagram account is straight up porn. i already feel fat just by watching these videos. but i'm still hungry af. the struggle is hella real who else can relate "ughhhhhh i wanna bake these godlike creations but i'm scared that i'll accidentally blow up my kitchen..." i groaned into my pillow. yeah, i’m a bit of a walking disaster, luckily i haven't reached namjoon's level. i think. one time my cookies almost turned out spicy because i was cooking spicy noodles at the same time. please don't ask. someone please just buy me a huge cheesecake to binge eat whilst i cry over my bad life decisions, one of which would be eating a whole 1542 calorie cheesecake at the asscrack of dawn. an imaginary or rather, imajinary-chiru stob light bulb went off from my head. there was one man made for this situation. one shoulder man, to be exact. i clicked on the contact "worldwide shoulders" and started typing.

(y/n) 2.30am

shoulder man take me by the hand lead me to the land that u understand

worldwide shoulders 2.35am

ya, its like 2.30am, shouldn't you be asleep? don't make me confiscate your phone

(y/n) 2.35am

sorry mom

worldwide shoulders 2.36am

yA tHIs chILd what's up, u usually don't text this late

(y/n) 2.37am

r u free tmr i wanna bake cheesecake pretty please

worldwide shoulders 2.38am

what a *cheesy* date if i do say so myself

(y/n) 2.38am

jIN its too early for puns :(

worldwide shoulders 2.39am

excuse you my puns are jinius

(y/n) 2.39am

SO cAN U BAKE WITH ME TMR :((( well actually it’ll be later today pls i owe u one

worldwide shoulders 2.40am

fine make sure u have the stuff ready, i'll come over at 10 go sleep its late

(y/n) 2.41am

yAY THANKS JINNIE

worldwide shoulders 2.41am

EXCUSE ME I AM OLDER THAN U (y/n) 2.42am :p see u tmr!! gnite shoulder man *finger heartu* worldwide shoulders 2.43am the disrespect i swear ----- "jin this is too tiring..." i groaned, my arms aching. "just a little bit more... just beat it harder." "look, must i really use my hands for this?" i whined. jin deadpanned. "(y/n) it's becoming white already, just continue. you wanted me to teach you right?" "why the hell can't i just use the electric mixer for the egg whites? its much faster than hand beating it..." i grumbled. "this is as good as doing 240 push-ups like jungkook," i whined. "my child there will be no shortcuts in this house when it comes to baking or cooking," i snorted at that. says the one who uses seasoning in his food. i mean, who doesn't? "i guess we can say that the cake will be eggcellent." he let out a windshield-wiper laugh at his own joke while i groaned at the terrible pun. "jin pls." ----- "DON'T CHOP THE BUTTER LIKE THAT OHMY GOD (Y/N) YOU'RE GOING TO CHOP YOUR HAND OFF LIKE THAT NO YOU'RE WORSE THAN NAMJOON SLICING ONIONS." jin shrieked at my horrible attempt to slice the frozen solid butter. i had forgotten to take the butter out to thaw, so now i had to face the consequences. of slicing, no, chopping, through rock solid butter that is stubborn about becoming smaller pieces. go me

he sighed and went behind me, his larger frame engulfing mine as he positioned my hand to hold the knife properly. "rest your index on top of the blade and your thumb and middle on its sides. this way, you'll have a better grip on the knife. and it reduces the chances of the knife slipping and chopping your finger off." he guides my fingers to hold the knife, while rambling on the precautions to take-which entered one ear and left the other. how am i supposed to concentrate when i've never been in this close proximity with the man until this moment? gosh he was warm and it feels real cozy, his chin gently resting on my shoulder to oversee the process, his larger hand on my smaller one guiding me to chop the butter. how domestic, i chuckled at the thought. i wonder how his hand would look like with his fingers entwined with mine- -which is what i did with the hand unoccupied by the knife. without me even registering it, i grabbed his free hand. our hands were clasped together and our fingers were tangled with each other. “omg (y/n) what are you doing” i screamed in my brain. do y’all ever just get intrusive thoughts like this and regret everything leading up to this moment. jin gave me a quizzical look that screamed "what are you doing." ok but same jin, same. well this turned awkward. in my panic, i let go of his hand. and the knife. good job, (y/n). "OH MY GOD LOOK OUT" jin yelled for what must be the 182297318th time today at my screw up and pulled me away from the knife which fell to the floor with a clang. i was pressed flushed against his chest as he pulled my body closer to his, almost as if we were snuggling. except that now is not really the time to snuggle with the situation at hand. thankfully the knife didn’t hurt any of us, but i knew, i was in deep shit with jin. i mentally braced myself for the lecture i was going to get. oh boy this is going to be ugly. "look (y/n), i dont care if you cant cook for shit." his face was starting to turn red from the incoming rant, and i had to stifle a giggle at that. there was always something amusing about jin scolding-maybe it comes from the fact that even if the mood is serious, he still wants to make everyone laugh and doesn’t want an atmosphere too damp. so his scolding just somehow turns comical. i bit down on my bottom lip harshly to stop the giggles, lest the lecture becomes longer. "but you are handling something sharp, please be careful." "i understand." i sighed. "look if i'm not here, you could have been seriously injured, you can't just play while handling knives. luckily i was around and could pull you away before it landed on your feet and cause you to internally bleed in your toe. do you even know how nasty it looks to have that black blood clot under your nail?" i nodded sheepishly. "loOK, WHAT IF YOU WERE ALONE? YOU COULD HAVE BLED TO DEATH AND THEN I WOULD NEED TO HAUL YOUR ASS TO THE HOSPITAL WHICH WOULD NOT END WELL MAJOR BLOOD LOSS IS NOT A FUN THING OK YOU NEED BLOOD TRANSFUSION SO PLEASE BE CAREFUL WITH THE KNIFE DONT BE A SECOND NAMJOON." "yes mom." "excuse you i am not your mother." "alright you're excused mr worldwide handsome... mom." "YA THIS BRAT." ----- thankfully, that was the only major incident-or as the drama queen puts it, life threatening incident-that happened while baking the cheesecake. after 2 hours of screaming together and jin telling me how to carry out baking procedures properly, we finally put the cake together. "jin, she's beautiful." i shed a fake tear at our finished product. fake tear-fake love tear-chiru why are you so lame "yeah, but im more beautiful amirite." ".....you're inedible so obviously the cheesecake is prettier than you." he looked at me with a mock look of offense and i giggled at that. "well at least my face doesn't need to be caked with makeup to look good." "jin, why are you so lame." just like me "hey at least i'm still walking." "oh my god." "i mean that's not my name, but god's also a good name for someone as handsome as me." "........i give up." there was a tense moment of pregnant silence that settled between us. suddenly, we both burst out laughing at our ridiculous banter filled with bad puns, courtesy of jin. "let's eat the cheesecake, shall we?"