#and in their self love circles they keep hearing “hey do those drugs again girl u know u want to”

[fairiencarnate]

I used to love those anti diet posts that were like "eat that cake. eat that chocolate. do what feels good babe" because they enabled me to keep harming my vital organs. Now they make me want to scream bc like girl I would LOVE to. I'm fighting the urge every second. But I would sugar dose myself into a diabetic coma if I just did what felt good. I would bleed myself into iron deficiency if I did what felt good. Doing what feels good would cause some of my favourite organs to stop functioning. It's made me realize... Doing what feels good is a privilege not all are blessed with.

[extremelyblackandwhite]

illicit affairs

pairing: sheriff lee bodecker x younger! reader

warnings: smut (18+), cheating, age gap

a/n: i love perfumes which smell of daisies so i made the reader use something like that. i do imagine her going for a very much female appearance and aura despite her personality and i can see lee fancying that sort of fragile femininity look paired with her independency. this song is based of illicit affairs from taylor swift but i was also listening to all too well at some points so i think some of that passed onto the writing. hope you enjoy xx

> DRESS

Leave the perfume on the self that you picked up just for him so you leave no trace behind like you don’t even exist. Take the words for what they are a dwindling, mercurial high, a drug that only worked the first few hundred times ... And you wanna scream don’t call me “kid”, don’t call me “baby”, look at this idiotic fool that you made me. You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else. And you know damn well for you I would ruin myself a million little times ...

The snow settled onto the ground, a view she could see from her white window. Sprawled against her window pane, the blue soft fabric of her dress cascaded down her body as she watched the snow fall and become one with the mass of white covering the once green grass of her home. Her feet dangled in anticipation, hair cascading into hairdresser set curls, held away from her face with a pearl barrette. Her fingers dangled across her collarbones, feeling the cold matching pearls which unlike her barrette clip, had been offered to her by Lee on thanksgiving. “A pretty girl like you deserves her own pearls” his voice echoed in her mind whenever her feeling felt the smooth irregular circle shapes of the pearls laying against her collarbones. There was nothing more than she wanted than to wear those pearls to the police winter ball, to show up wearing something he had bought for her with what money he gathered from his fickle Captain position, but she couldn’t. Everyone knew what she had, what jewellery she had, it was all valued at the insurance centre downtown and the pearl necklace definitely wasn’t. Her own pearls rested inside her ivory jewellery box along with the ribbon she was wearing around her waist when she first kissed him, and the comb that held her hair in place whenever she met him during windy nights. 

Her grandmother had left before her, leaving with the grocery shop owner as her date for the ball but she had stayed behind. She had told her she’d rather go alone, blaming her loneliness on the fact all the boys her age were either engaged thus going with their wives and the single ones not wanting to do with her. Of course that was further from the truth and as she watched the snow fall, she imagined Lee’s cruiser driving through the snow, stopping in front of her home and knocking on her door to take her. But those were nothing but impossible scenarios created from the deepest part of her psyche. Looking over her shoulder, the clock on her bedside table shone 9PM into bold red letters. She should get going before her grandmother got worried. Her eyes lingered across her beauty parlour to the silver platter with her perfume, the one she’d picked just for him after hearing how much he loved the smell of daisies. She had to leave it, she couldn’t put any perfume on, she couldn’t take her pearls, she doesn’t exist. At least, she as Lee’s lover does not exist for all that everyone could know and nothing hurt more than the sound of her pearls returning to her ivory box. It was were they belonged, away from everyone, hidden, a mysterious sin secret. 

With her white fur wrapped around her arms, she entered her glossy yet dull red car, pulling the hood up despite the weather. She wanted to feel the cold, she wanted that numbness to hide what she had been feeling for the last months. It was all so exhilarating when it began; the summer walks, laying in the middle of the forest in an old towel as he feed her ripe strawberries, escaping from her grandmother’s house at night and meeting him up under the apple tree in light dresses. However, at time wind down, she started to crave the rest of a relationship, the holding of hands. Instead what she got was clandestine meetings in parking lots, behind the bars or in the middle of the forest when no one could see them. She constantly told herself it was going to eventually be her turn, he was gonna leave Jane for her. Yet, she seemed to constantly fall on the same error every mistress before her did, the mistake of forgetting her place. Stopping in front of the old town hall where the ball was being held, she could see the soft lights, hear the laughter and it made her sick. She didn’t want to go in, she didn’t want to see those happy couples but she had too. She had to put up a show, be the little pedestal trouble starter woman she was expected to be and so she would. 

Stepping into the hall, her eyes immediately found Lee in the corner speaking with the Sheriff, arm draped over Jane’s shoulder while the other hand held a clear cup probably with his favourite drink. Her heart sunk to the same place it always did as she got lost in the dance floor. She knew everyone in this town hall, from the first boy she ever kissed Jonah and his third wife Elizabeth to Billy whom had been prom king with her. There was nothing new anymore and what once felt new and true was now anchoring her inside a fishbowl of images of her own mistakes and unfulfilled life needs. 

      - Hey, Y/N. - Billy called out for her attention. She held onto the fur wrapped around her for comfort as she prepared her facade of a happy girl at a happy party. - Your grandma told me you ain’t gotta a partner for tonight. Could’ve told me, I would’ve taken you. 

      - It’s ok, ain’t like I need a man. - she replied, almost angrily although he deserved no anger from her. - What’s the stage for? We’re getting a band tonight?

      - No, the new sheriff candidates announcing themselves tonight. Prepare for the blood bath. 

      - Sounds interesting. - she spoke out, her voice getting mumbled out as the mic’s sound hurt her and everyone else’s ear. The police chief stood there in his best attire, holding a small piece of papers, his fat thumbs hitting the mic to gather everyone’s attention. He already had their attention merely by wearing a cowboy’s hat with a formal suit. 

       - Now folks, we all now how much we gonna miss our good old Sheriff but it’s time to elect a new one. - his southern accent was pronounced, too pronounced, cartoonish even. Y/N remembered laughing as a child when she first heard him speak only to immediately shut up when her grandmother looked her way with a look which left room for no questions. She herself had barely developed an accent, her grandmother still very keen on instilling in her the education she herself had gotten. However, the longer she spent with Lee, the more it would sometimes slip; one or two words, nothing major. - Of course, Leroy is running again.

     - I don’t know why he tries. - Y/N whispered to Billy, concealed laughing smile behind her hand. 

     - You gotta admit it’s a good thing to imagine. Damned Leroy and his prostitutes running the town? We’d be forgotten by God.

     - We’re already forgotten by God. We were banished from the garden of Eden, don’t you remember? - she teased, always enjoying to toy around with the religion Knockemstiff was so hang up on. - We’re probably direct descendants. 

     - You ought to keep that mouth shut if you don’t wanna get in trouble. - he warned yet it went through deaf ears. Y/N liked stirring it, specially when it came to things which were so analytically flawed. 

The regular list of candidates continued to go from officers to common folk who all believed they could make the town better. At least that was all they said they wanted to get some votes but at the end of the day, they just wanted to control the town with an iron fist. Do what they wanted without anyone question it. She couldn’t blame it, humans are hardwired to go crazy for power and let it consume them so she just let it pass. She knew all the candidates, they were always the same. Leroy, Matthew, Edwards ... all the common ones, she even wondered why they kept announcing it. Those three competing for the sheriff position was as certain as the sun coming up each morning. 

      - The last candidate is our cap’tain Bodecker. - her head snapped to the stage as every sound seemed to dim until she was surrounded by pure silence. All she could hear was the buzz from her ears as she watched him climb up the stairs to the stage, shaking the chief’s hands. 

Everything seemed to be stuck in slow motion yet her mind was running faster than a shot bullet. The clapping was slow, everything was silent yet she could see their hands slowly clap and their lips moving in whispers. Her eyes roamed the crowd finding Jane right in front of the stage, looking up at him with adoration at the possible place she could possible hold; the sheriff’s wife. The slow motion ended with a loud crash and suddenly everything seemed just too fast. She ignored Billy’s pleas for her attention and moved straight to the small plastic tables covered in burgundy towels to make it look fancier where all the drinks and food were being held. One of her only friends from high school Mary was the one in charge, happily serving food and drinks to anyone who asked.

     - Hi Y/N. - she always looked like the perfect housewife and that was always what she wanted to be. Beautiful, bountiful blonde hair with a few flowers matching her pink dress. Despite it all, she was always nice to her even with their different life goals. 

     - Hey Mary. How’s Paul? I heard from rumours you two had quite a nice honeymoon. St.Louis, right? 

     - Yes. He booked us a nice honeymoon suite, it had flowers and those heart shaped beds and chocolates. It was real nice, I’m hoping to be pregnant soon. What about you? Your grandmother said you came alone. You could’ve told me, my brother would’ve taken you.

    - That’s alright, Mary. I don’t intend to stay for long ... Uhm, can I have a drink?

    - Of course. Sidecar, as per usual? 

    - I think I’ll just have a double cognac, please. Or maybe some gin ... whatever can make me dizzy the fastest.

    - Everything, okay?

    - Just need to forget some stuff, it’ll be okay. - she forced a smile. At least half that phrase was true. Mary served her up with her best gin and she returned to the dance floor, trying to blend with the rest of the attendees, however her baby blue dress was much too different from anything else in town. 

Y/N thought she’d be best outside where no one could see her and so she left, avoiding Billy who kept asking for her. She leaned against the old wood of the town hall, mascara running down her cheeks, and gin glass on the other one. She looked like the perfect warning tale of why you should not mess her married men. She knew better, she knew so much better but she still did it, like the idiotic little fool she seemed to be. Y/N sighed, the air condensing in the air as she drank from the glass.

     - Pull yourself together, Y/N. - she looked to see side, her grandmother standing outside with the look she used to give her when Y/N embarrassed her as a little girl. - What did you expect?

     - I’m just not having a good day, nana.

     - You’re hanging around with Captain Bodecker that’s what you’re doing.

     - What?

     - Don’t play innocent with me, Y/N. You’re just like your mother and I’ve raised your mother so I’d know. I saw you leave in his car last week. Do you want to defend yourself?

     - Is it even worth it? - she took a sip out of her drink. - What do you want me to say? 

     - I want you to pull yourself together and go inside. You better have this finished off before those elections start. I will not have my granddaughter be a home wrecker.

Y/N ignored it. There was nothing her grandmother could say that hurt more than what she was already feeling. She watched the snow fall from the cover of the banner covering the town hall, cold and icy yet somehow warmer than her. The drink didn’t last forever and although it was much stronger than what she was used to, she didn’t feel the slightest bit dizzy. It was if the universe was punishing her for her choices. She shook her head, leaving the glass onto one of the windows. She’d be better off at home and she’d already made her appearance. If someone asked where she was, she could’ve blamed it on their drunkness. Opening her little clutch, she started fishing for her keys through a sea of change, makeup and receipts. 

    - You better not be thinking of driving after you just drank. - she turned her head to see Lee with his hands on his waist, playfully smiling at her. His smile faded as he noticed the streaks of mascara from her eyes to her jaw. - Did that shithead Billy say something? 

     - No ... Lee, I wanna go home okay. - she sighed. - Can you just pretend you didn’t see me drink?

     - I was hoping we could spend the night together. Rent a hotel room outside town. A real nice place, with a pool and some room service. My treat of course.

     - I ... We can’t, Lee. Your wife is inside as she’s gonna notice you’re not there and you’re not home. 

     - She’s going home early. Jane’s been taking a few sleeping pills. She’s down for the night, won’t even notice. - he took a few steps closer to her, knowing everyone was too drunk to even remember. - I was waiting for you to come greet me, congratulate me. I can’t believe my girl wanted to leave before showing me how pretty she looked. 

     - You didn’t tell me you were running for Sheriff. - he cupped her face, thumb caressing her cheek. - You said it was a silly position.

     - Yeah but ... it’s a Sheriff. I could become Mayor, ya know. The old sheriff thinks I’d be good for it. - he scratched the back of his neck, something he always did whenever he was nervous or was confronted by something he did not expect. Y/N had learned to read him and knew him better than her own favourite books. - C’mon, kid. It’s a night worth celebrating, don’t you think?

     - Don’t call me kid. - she shot her head his way, his word hitting a particular hurt spot which she didn’t realise she had. 

     - Hey, I’m not trying to mock ya. - he rose his hands. - What’s wrong, huh baby? Hm? Tell me sugar, I hate it when you’re upset. Besides, if it was that Billy kid I’ve been wanting to give him a good beating.

    - Don’t call me baby, either. - she sighed, throwing her purse inside the car, before turning to him. - Billy didn’t do anything I’m just ... tired.

    - I’ll drive you home, then.

    - I don’t wanna go home either. - she pushed her hair from her forehead, looking at the ground. The snow engulfed her feet and her shoes, yet it might as well have engulfed her entire being. Lee noticed her lip trembling and how her free hand was trying to stop tears from falling down. He looked behind him, the town hall door shut, before taking his jacket off, draping it over her shoulders, and opening the car door for her. 

 Y/N daren’t look him in the eye, instead sitting in the passenger seat as he pushed the hood of her car up. After all, most people did not enjoy driving in the snow with the hood up. She didn’t know where he was taking her and for all it mattered she didn’t want to know. If he was driving her to her killing location, it sounded much better than having to work out through the bubbling feelings in her tummy. Y/N didn’t even noticed how much she was crying until the tears started streaming so fast they were falling onto the palms of her hands like diamond daggers. She leaned her head against his shoulder, watching the road ahead through the blurry orbs of her own eyes, trying to find some warmth through him. The drive seemed endless and her mind rushed in an even more endless way as she considered all her choices til now. She found it unbearable how not guilty she didn’t feel about it. She could still remember the feeling of the cold water against her body and his lips against hers, being tangled in his bed sheets while he drank a beer, his grunts as he thrusted into her inside his patrol car. She remembered every detail either it being lust or romantic but most importantly she remembered how he looked at her. It was almost as through rose coloured glasses, most of the times agreeing with her pessimist view of the town she was in. Lee looked down on her, watching her perfect hair break through the gelled curls she had set down. He never liked the polished look anyway, he loved to see her walk in her white dresses and freshly washed hair flowing with the wind. This woman sat next to him was gorgeous but he preferred his Y/N, he preferred the woman who would poke fun of casualty and rush into the woods with her nightgown. This woman next to him was pretty yes but she seemed tainted by a sadness he could see yet couldn’t help. He didn’t want his Y/N to be the slightest bit sad. She did not deserve it. She was too pure, too young to be consumed by the loneliness, darkness and sadness that came with being an adult. Yet again, he had to start learning the young woman she was wouldn’t stay young forever. He wanted to know how to help. he wanted to be the man who wakes up next to her on summer mornings and winter evenings but life is not how we plan it out to be.

She watched the snow fall from her window as “You are my sunshine” played on the background from her radio. Looking up to him, his eyes were glued to the road, the sign of leaving Knockemstiff way past them and the hotel on the horizon. She called it the Heartbreak hotel, with its red walls and luxurious nature. A more fancy place for those who wanted to give a better night to their mistresses but that was not why she called it the heartbreak hotel. It was due to the fact she ended up crying every time she or he left. While inside those walls, she could pretend they were Mr. and Mrs. Bodecker, young couple moved out of Knockemstiff on a romantic getaway yet she wasn’t Mrs. Bodecker, Jane was. She had seen who the future sheriff’s wife was and it was not and it would never be her. He stopped the car in the parking lot, looking at her who was lost in thought, leaned against his shoulder.

   - Come on, sugar. What is it? - Lee kissed the top of her head. - The heck happened in that Town Hall?

    - Just being silly, Lee. - she shook her head, faking a smile. - Just don’t like parties one bit.

    - I hate ‘em too, sugar. All show no action. Besides no party is a party without my baby. - he hooked his ring finger under her chin, softly pulling it up. She tried not to look at the moonlight illuminating the silver band around his finger, a symbol he belonged to someone else and she knew it. She had seen the wedding photo on his secretary, a much younger Lee with a much younger Jane with the facade of a happy marriage. Thinking about it always made her sick and ever since seeing that picture she couldn’t bring herself to do so. - Come on, let’s get you a bubble bath, yeah?

She followed him into the hotel almost in a zombie like state until the reception. The talk was a dance she had danced before, it was all the same. Lee would present money in cash so it wouldn’t show up on his credit card statement. He would sign in with a fake address but with his own name and no one would question it. After all, the staff wanted money, they didn’t care if it was an illicit affair or not. To be honest, she didn’t care much anymore.

     - Mrs. Bodecker? Mrs. Bodecker? - the receptionist called out to her but it didn’t even register until she was looking her into the eyes. Mrs. Bodecker, she was definitely not. - Would you like a complementary tea? You look cold.

     - No, it’s okay. - she smiled while Lee grabbed the keys. His hand wrapped itself around hers, leading her over to the elevator.

God, she wanted him. She really did, he thought to himself. It was an unbelievable feeling to have someone who loved him back, someone who always had encouraging words to tell him, someone who would stay after a fight. He thought and imagine what it would’ve been like if she was born earlier, god he would’ve courted her and would’ve married her the second they were out of high school. Sadly, the woman he loved was born 10 years after and he met her when he was married. He led her to the 13th hotel room and closed the door behind them.

     - Things are gonna be different when I’m sheriff. No more sneaking around, no one will dare  say a word. I can move to Brewer Heights, heck, I can buy two houses, one just for you and me.

    - Lee ...

    - Where are your pearls, sugar? You know I love to see you with them, makes you look so pretty.

    - You know I can’t wear them in public, Lee. I am not your ... - she shouldn’t say that, she should not let those words out. - They’re not insured under my name, people would comment about it.

     - You worry too much. - he pushed the fur that covered her arms down, placing a small kiss on her elbow. - My little over-thinker.

     - One of us has too, Captain Bodecker.

     - How about some champagne? - he pointed towards the champagne bottle in the ice bucket by the dresser before walking towards it, raising it so he could inspect the brand. He longed for the finest things in life, no longer wanting to be that middle to low class man he’d been forced to be. Being Sheriff, Mayor someday was going to be really something, it’d be his chance.

    - I’m not 21 yet, Captain.

    - Only a month til you are, kid. - he filled two long crystal flutes, handing it over to them. - By then I should stop calling you kid, huh?

    - You shouldn’t call me kid, now. - she took a sip of the golden liquid, hoping it would take away her jealousy. Lee hummed, leaned over to kiss the crock of her neck, climbing up to her jaw in a move that was sure to leave marks. It was okay for him to leave marks on her, she was unmarried, young but on him? Sometimes she wanted to, sometimes she wanted to mark his pale plump skin as a possession, one that screamed Jane might have the wedding ring but she had the man. Yet, she couldn’t. - You look so handsome tonight.

    - You’re my worse critic. - he smirked, placing his glass on the bedside table before pulling her chin towards him, placing a soft kiss on her plump, painted lips. - God, you can’t even imagine how fucking hard I got when you walked in.

    - Such gentle behaviour. - she teased, fingers lightly tracing the skin of his face. He moaned, leaning in to kiss her again. - I wore it just for you. Blue. I knw you like it.

    - You’re always such a good girl for me. - he started to remove his jacket, pushing on her chest lightly so she laid against the luxurious bed.

The alcohol sure did a better job than her about making her forget what she was doing it. The alcohol and his kiss, his touch on her skin made her forget the clench in her heart when she saw Jane Bodecker clap once they said his name. It made her forget she couldn’t hear perfume around him unless he showered, it made her forget. Both of her moaned through the kiss, seemingly unconcerned with the fact that it was a sin. Maybe that’s why it taste so sweet, the sin, the thrill. None of them cared really and all he wanted to do now was hold her, touch her, look at her.

    - You are so beautiful. - he spoke, more to himself than to her specifically, leaning down on the bed as he spread her legs, taking his place in between them which was so familiar to him. Lee ran his knuckles through the middle of her folds, cold hands making her shiver. - Ev’ry darn day I wake up and I think, I got myself the most beautiful woman in the world.

Her eyes were glued to the ceiling, the white paint of it engulfing her as his hands caressed her thighs. All she could feel were his cold hands massaging the skin of her thighs, spreading them apart and giving him full access to her. His lips attacked her core, always chapped which made her feel so good, it made her know it was him giving her that pleasure. She moaned out loud as he dwelled in like a starved man, her head relaxing against the pillow. There was never any mercy with him, he teased her like he owned her, focusing on her clit while licking her folds. He had her exactly where he wanted her - starving for him.

   - You’re gonna see. - he mumbled out while he relentlessly ate her out. - When I’m sheriff there will be no more hidin’. No one gonna dare say anythin’ about it.

   - Lee, please ... no foreplay. - she whined, begged even as he stopped his motions. His eyes curiously searched for hers, hands pulling his body up as he stood on top of her. - I just want to feel you.

   - Weren’t you feelin’ me, sugar?

   - You know what I mean, Lee. - she wrapped her hands around his neck, head cocked to the side. - I don’t want any foreplay today.

    - Oh sugar ... - he chuckled leaning down to kiss her collarbone. - You’re just a cock slut for me, aren’t ya? Can’t just wait for me to treat ya right ain’t it, baby?

     - Lee, please. - she whined, hands wavering over his police issued chunky belt. Lee smirked, holding her hand before she could do anything. Y/N pouted, head leaning against her shoulder. - C’mon.

   - But baby, you look so pretty when you’re begging. - he returned to kiss her neck, leaving marks which were sure to become hickeys tomorrow but she didn’t care. No one was going to see it. - I was expecting you to come congratulate me in the way you always do, maybe in the back of the town hall. Hoping someone would catch us so they’d see you’re my girl.

    -  Lee ... -  she whined as he kept kissing her neck and collarbones. - Please.

    - Tell me what you want, baby. You know I do everything you want. - he rose from her neck, toothy grin as he leaned down to kiss her plump, pink painted lips. - Tell me you want my big fat cock. I know you do, baby. Tell me how much you need it. 

  - Lee ... please, need you.

  - You have me, baby, tell me what you need. Tell me what you want. - his knuckles ran through the middle of her folds again. - You’re so wet, baby. Just tell me what you want, c’mon

  -  Lee ... please. - she looked at him with those wide eyes that could get someone to commit murder for her, as he pushed down his trousers. - I want you to fuck me with your ... big fat cock, Capitain. 

  - Oh, baby ... - he leaned his forehead against hers as he pushed his cock past her entrance, eyes shut tight  as he tried to keep himself sane at the mere feeling of her walls contracting against him. His lips found hers as he shed himself fully into her. Her hand searched for his, as Lee slowly rolled his hips against hers, basking in the mere high that was being inside of her. - You okay, baby? 

  - Yeah. ... fuck, move. - she whined as he removed himself from her and pushed back in, slowly starting to rock into her as he always did. The little tease. Her hand clenched his as he speed up his thrusts, lips returning to hers in a messy, moaned filled kiss. All she could hear was the sound of skin against skin and interrupted breathing. - Lee, fuck.

  - I know, baby. - he laughed, returning to kiss her the way he liked as her walls started to clench more forcefully against his member, milking him for all he was worth. His free hand grabbed her hip as he further sped up against her, bruising her skin as his breaths got more raggedy. He bite onto her neck as he felt his control over his own orgasm disappear. 

  - Lee, fuck! - she moaned, almost raising off the bed as her own orgasm washed over her. Her head fell against the pillow, sluggish as he continued to thrust into her until ropes and ropes of cum painted her walls. He chuckled mid grunt, holding her against him as he turned around in bed. 

  - You all fucked up, aren’t ya, sugar? - he kissed the top of her head. - You’re gonna see, sugar. Things are gonna be so much better.

  - Right ... - she cuddled against his chest. - Hm ... Lee can you drive me back home early on?

  - Early shift?

  - Yeah.

  - Okay, sugar.

The morning was a harsh breaker of dreamy hazes and just like that she was back to the place where she always was, in her home, surrounded by the scent of the perfume she had bought just for him. She sat on her dress, taking the necklace he had given her from the little mother of pearl seashell shaped box and holding them against her chest. She loved him, she really did. Some people had their downfalls and hers was painted onto her neck and held by her hands. He was her downfall. 

The sun was high up on the snowy midday in Knockemstiff and once again Lee had been resigned to desk duty after the Sheriff not taking it too lightly he decided to run without his permission. Normally he would’ve been upset but he knew, he knew he was close to winning and then he could throw away those stupid hotels and just get her a little house close to him. God, he couldn’t fucking wait.

    - Captain Bodecker, someone here for you. - his secretary knocked on his door. - Mary Gillies, sir. 

    - Mary Gillies? - he knew her to be a friend of Y/N’s, perhaps her only friend other than that punk Billy. - Send her in.

    - Good afternoon, captain. - she said as she walked into his office. - I’m so sorry to be bothering but Y/N ...

    - Is she alright? - he interrupted her.

    - Yes, well ...  - she rummaged through her bag to find a cushioned envelope with his name on it. - She told me to give you this.

   - What is it?

   - I don’t know, captain. I must get going, my husband is waiting for me.

   - Of course. Thank you, Mrs. Gillies.

He waited for the woman to be out of his office and for the door to be shut for him to open the envelope. The minute he opened the envelope, pearls fell into his desk, the same pearls he had given Y/N followed by a small note in the dusty pink stationary that normally laid on her dresser. Turning it around, he saw the words he’d been dreading to read or hear ever since he met her. I’m sorry, Lee. He threw the letter on his desk before getting up from his desk as fast as he could, ignoring the calls from his colleagues as he got into his cruiser. Damned, Brewer Heights, why couldn’t it be closer?

He approached her home fast and closed the door as fastly as he ran up to the door. Her hag of a grandmother was possibly at church and he had learned where they kept the spare key; behind a violet pot. His heart was beating as fast as a deer on a hunt as he climbed up the stairs and found the once filled room was empty, with only a perfume bottle on her empty dresser. He observed the whole room as if he were in a nightmare, sitting on her bed as he clenched the pearls he had given her not so long ago, the smell of daisies in the air as some song played on the still turned on radio.

You never know dear how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away ...

taglist: @lookiamtrying​ 

[meigh-day]

Obligation (Tendou x Reader) - Part 17

———————————————————–

Title: Obligation

Pairing: Mafia AU Tendou x F!Reader

Characters: Includes characters from both Shiratorizawa and Seijoh/Some OC background characters

Includes: Swearing, Guns, Knives, Excessive Violence, Blood, Torture, Threats of rape

Status: Complete

Word Count: 1.7k

Previous Next

———————————————————–

The kiss was gentle, tender and full. Tendou held you between his hands so delicately, acutely aware of the trauma both your mind and body had been through. The urge to crush you to him, to explore your mouth and your body was more intense than he expected, but the image of your poor bruised face was all he needed to subdue those desires. Honestly, he was just happy to have you safe and sound in his arms, even more so now that he had his lips against yours. Sooner than he would have liked, the kiss ended, the red-head moving has face away just far enough so he could look down into your eyes.

Any lingering doubt you'd had vanished, it was like the moment his lips landed on yours, you were once again grounded in reality, aware that the man holding you every so tenderly was real. Though that just raised more questions in your mind. Why was he kissing you now and holding you so close? Why did he look at you with such deliberate warmth? It was so far removed from the cool anger he had shown towards you that it left you feeling dizzy. Though that also have been a side effect of any number of ailments that currently plagued you. Between the drugging, the beating, lack of food and sleep and stress, you were feeling a little shaky. When the kiss ended you found yourself staring back up at him, a bewildered expression on your face.

"Why are you doing this?" You question him before your gaze faltered. It's not like you wouldn't be thrilled if he actually wanted you, but between the kiss and what he had said, you just felt your mind going in circles. "You don't have to force yourself to like me Tendou. Besides... aren't you and Nanako together?" For several seconds there was silence and when you finally got up the courage to look back at him, he looked irritated bordering on angry. You only held his gaze a moment before turning your face away.

"It's ok." It wasn't ok. You still liked him, the feelings you had developed for him hadn't started to fade and the thought of him with someone else hurt.

"I get it." You didn't. Not that you'd had a ton of interactions with her, but Nanako was not liked by anyone you had ever spoken with. The idea that someone as amazing as him, could love someone like her, it made your head ache.

"I'm sure I can talk to Kimura and get our arrangement... retracted." If it would make him happy, you would do it. You knew if you let the marriage happen, knowing there would never be a chance for happiness, you'd be miserable for the rest of your life. But more than that, he would be just as miserable and you couldn't stand it if he started to resent you more than he already did. Even as you said the words, a heavy silence hanging between the two of you, you felt a familiar ache throb in your heart. Deep down the desire to hold onto him, to keep him close, was so strong you almost wished you'd never said a thing. You still very much cared for him and a part of you hoped that over time he might have come to care for you too. Finally, you let out a shaky sigh and start to lean away from him so you can crawl out of his lap. Though before your hands can even touch the ground, you find yourself stuck, held fast in his arms as he pulled you back towards his chest. Tendou bowed his head, forehead resting against the top of your shoulder, unwilling to let you go.

"I need you to know, the things I said to you were all lies. I was angry and insecure and I took it out on you." You could feel him trembling against you as he began to explain what had happened. He told you everything, the things he had heard, the things he had thought, why he had thought them. As he spoke you found yourself giving into his embrace, your own arms wrapping around behind him, fingers running through his hair. "I'm so sorry Y/N. I don't expect you to forgive me and I wouldn't blame you if you decided to leave after all this--" He drew himself up, his large hands coming to rest on your face once again, his deep red eyes gazing down at you. The bruises on your face, the ones that littered your body, they were all his fault, yet he didn't want to surrender. If anything, now more than ever, he wanted to cling to you, to keep you by his side, to show you how deeply he cherished you. "but I don't want to lose you."

You remained quiet for several seconds, though to the anxious red-head before you, it felt like an eternity. You'd be lying if you said it didn't sting a little to know the truth, to find out he had thought you were capable of being so self-centered and greedy. However, knowing even a fraction of his past, how people still treated him even now, it made it that much easier to understand his actions. "You won't." His eyes widen at your words, a smile pulling across your lips. "To be honest, I don't want to give you up. I just, well at the time, I didn't think you--" "Well I do." He interrupted your unsteady thoughts and let out a deep sigh of relief, it felt like a weight had been lifted. "I care about you so much, I can't really put it into words but I suppose if I were to try..." Tendou paused, regarding you with a gaze brimming with adoration, his thumb pulled delicately across your bottom lip causing your lips to part. "I love you."

Once again, you sat in silence, staring up at him wide eyed. It took your mind a little longer than normal to process what he had said. In the span of a few minutes you found out that, not only did he not hate your guts, but that he liked- no, he loved you. Without realizing it, tears had started to pool in your eyes, spilling across your cheeks. It was only when Tendou's expression was clouded with worry that you realized what you were doing. "Tell me what's wrong, beautiful." He brushed your tears away with his thumbs, as you collected your thoughts together. Not that there was much to think about, you'd liked him from the first moment you had met and that feeling had only grown with each moment you had spent together.

"You love me?"

"Mhm, very much." The smile on your lips spread wide as you let yourself cry a little more. You knew this wasn't a dream but hearing him confess his love to you sure made it felt like one. "Satori--" You spoke his name softly as you leaned up, using your grip at the back of his neck to pull him down. "I love you too." You whisper your own confession against his lips then close before closing the distance.

This kiss was different than the first, it felt more heated and intimate, perhaps a side-effect of your mutual confessions. His tongue slid across your lips, and without hesitation you let him in. Your fingers twined in his hair while your other hand laid flat against his back, using the leverage to pull yourself up and against him. Tendou couldn't help the moan that slipped from his throat, your body now flush against his. When the two of you finally parted, lips red and swollen, chests heaving as you catch your breath, it took every ounce of his resolve to stop. If not for the deep purple marks marring your pretty face, he wasn't confident he could have stopped. Though if that hadn't been enough, that fact that he could feel you wobbling in his arms, along with the dark circles around your eyes, well that was enough to show that you were more or less running on fumes and adrenaline.

"My sweet girl, let's get you back into bed. You need to rest up and get better so we can go on a date."

"A date?" You squeaked out the question as he lifts you into his arms and stands.

"Mhm, so you better start thinking about what you'd like to do."

Tendou crossed the room and placed you carefully onto the bed. "Ok." You nod, watching him as he straightens up. He offers you more smile before turning to leave, though a tug at the bottom on his shirt had him glancing over his shoulder. "Don't go..." There was a small tremor in your voice, hints of fear in your eyes, in that moment he would have done anything you'd asked to make that frightened expression disappear. "Hey now, don't worry. I won't go anywhere princess." He spins around, crouching beside the bed while his hand smooths your hair back. That wasn't enough, you needed him closer, needed to be in his arms and to feel his warmth. "Hold me?" Your request catches him a little off-guard but he happily concedes. He quickly toed off his shoes and crawled onto the bed, pulling you into his chest as his arms wrap around you. He rubbed slow circles against your back, his touch was gentle, easing your mind as you relaxed into the bed, eyes growing heavier with each passing moment. As you started to drift off a question strays into your thoughts and in your half-asleep state, you couldn't help but ask it.

"Satori."

"Hm?"

"Is this a guest room?"

"No."

"So it belongs to someone?"

"Mhm."

"Who?"

"Me."

With each question your words grew more and more mumbled until finally, the only answer you gave was a hum of acknowledgement. Tendou let out a happy sigh, tilting his slightly so he could rest his cheek against the top of your head. Before he knew it, his own breathing had slowed and he too drifted off, feelings of contentment and bliss washing over him.

[probably-writing-x]

Innocence never looked so good

Valerio x Reader

Request by anon : I love your writings🧡🧡they’re what keeps me busy during this sucky time. If you’re still taking asks, I was wondering if you could write about Valerio and him meeting a new transfer scholarship student. At first he’s not really interested bc she’s pretty innocent but then he ends up falling for her. Kind of like Guzman and Nadia I guess. I mean you could honestly write it anyway you want and if love it 🥺 this was just ask. If not it’s understandable :))

Gif is not my own

Requests are open🤍

“So is this how it works here?” It was a boy from the back of the class that spoke up, “You just dish out scholarships left right and centre?”

He was a tall, slim boy with wild dark curls being his typically distinctive feature. You were more drawn to the sharp structure of his face and how he seemed so nonchalant about his extroverted personality. He was leaning back in the chair with his legs on top of the desk and his arms stretched out like he was opening himself to the world.

“Valerio, not now,” The teacher rolls his eyes, “(Y/n) is just as deserving of her place here as any of you are. I expect you to make her welcome as you would do with any paying student, understood?”

You swallow the lump in your throat and blink a couple of times at the intimidating crowd in front of you. You weren’t the most confident at the best of times so starting a new school was already an experience you feared - let alone when that school was filled to the brim with rich kids that you’d never fit in with.

The only spare seat in the class happened to be beside this Valerio so you walk your way over and stand awkwardly beside his desk.

“Can I sit here?” You ask quietly, forcing yourself to remain calm, “Please?”

He lets a smirk dance across his lips as he trails his eyes up and down your form, tapping his pen on the table with one hand, “Okay, (Y/n).”

Valerio swings his legs down and shuffles in his chair to make room for you beside him. You set your bag down beside you and pull out the books that you needed for the lesson, along with your pencil case.

“Fuck,” Valerio says a little too loudly, “She really is a nerd.”

You blush furiously at his comment but keep your head down nonetheless, scribbling down the date and the title of the lesson.

“Valerio!” The teacher warns, “Do I need to tell you again that your father’s money can easily be replaced?”

He rolls his eyes as a stunning girl from a few rows in front turns around and glares at him - an evident warning behind her perfected eyes.

Valerio ignores you for the rest of the lesson, spending half of his time staring out of the window and the other half trying to see how far he could rock back on his chair.

- - - - - -

You’re sat next to Valerio in that class every single day and every day is the same. You wait for him to move his feet from the table, you sit down and get on with the work and he finds any way possible of avoiding the work. It continues like that again and again every single day.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with your hair down,” He comments as you sit down on one random Monday morning.

You’d managed to make a few friends at Las Encinas - the other scholarship students really. But you tried your best to remain under the radar.

“I don’t ever really think about it,” You shrug, tucking a stray lock behind your ear as you scribble down the date.

“It’s nice.”

It’s weird to hear Valerio say anything remotely close to a compliment, even if it was something minor. But you find yourself looking at him with a little frown.

“You don’t think I have it in me to be polite?” He cocks a brow, “I’ll have you know I’m a gentleman, (Y/n).”

“If you say so,” You shrug and it’s like the tiniest spark of fire he’s ever seen from you. It takes him aback a little even if it shouldn’t. You were always so passive, and yet you’d had that tiniest fraction of sass in your words then that threw him just a little off balance.

He watches you a little bit more that day, wanting to know the person behind who you were when you sat beside him.

- - - - - -

The next morning, Valerio is still in his normal position in the chair as you come in but there’s a rose left on your side of the table.

“What’s this?” You question, picking it up to make space for your books.

He shrugs and shifts his legs, as usual, “I have no idea.”

“Well, you must’ve seen who put it down,” You comment, turning it over in your hands, “Who was it?”

“Can’t have been me,” He pushes himself off from the table using his firmly planted hands so that he rocks back on his chair, “I’m not romantic enough.”

- - - - - -

There continue to be little moments like that. A week later, he left a book on the table that he claimed was a brilliant read under his own recommendation. Next, it was a new notepad from when he saw you were coming to the end of yours. Sometimes, it would just be a note where he’d scribbled a poem quote that he liked. And, oddly, you found yourself looking forward to each day where you may or may not find a little gesture given from the extroverted boy that sat beside you. He didn’t show any interest in you outside of those moments, ignoring you in every other class, never acknowledging you in the hallways - but that one class every morning was his slight moment with you where he did show that side.

It’s a number of weeks later and things had started to deteriorate for you yet again at home. Your parents were what you’d call ‘missing in action’ - where they reprised their regular roles of being shitty parents by abandoning you with no knowledge of when they’d return. Normally, it would be for a cheap holiday they’d booked and not told you about, or because their drug-fuelled minds had considered it a brilliant idea to head off to somewhere unknown. Whatever it was, it always circled back eventually. And you’d be left alone yet again.

This time, it had meant that you’d barely been sleeping. So you’d decided to show up to school early and you found yourself sitting in the class before anybody else had even arrived.

When Valerio walks in, he stops in his tracks.

“The introvert, the woman of routine, breaking the cycle?” He gasps, sauntering over to you with all levels of confidence as he always managed to hold.

You must’ve looked an absolute state. Your hair was pulled into a bun, your eyes darkened by the purple circles that carried their weight, your clothes weren’t as neat as you tried to keep them and every part of you felt a little detached from your normal self.

Valerio strolls around your chair and flops down into the one next to you, “What caused the change, (Y/n)?”

When you don’t respond to him with a polite or sassy response, and he’s instead met with silence, he frowns and leans toward you in his chair.

“Is everything okay?” He asks, quiet and cautious like he was saying it with genuine care.

You run your hands over your hair to smooth it somewhat and look at him with the most forced smile you had the energy to give, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

With that, you go about all the parts of your normal routine. Pen out, books open, date in the top right hand corner. But there’s something about the shaky breath that you release and the way that your eyes seem just on the verge of pouring that makes Valerio struggle to ever take his eyes off of you. He’d never felt so serious in one of these classes. And it wasn’t an important topic or a test he should be trying to pass. It was because this girl beside him had a lot more than her passive exterior showed - and he couldn’t imagine just how much she’d had bottled up inside this whole time.

- - - - - -

The next morning, and the next and the next, you’re sat in that class before him again. There was something about being at school that made you not feel so alone so you’d been making the most of the hours you could spend here. Valerio expresses concern every morning by asking if you were okay and you even start to notice him steal glances in your direction every time you were in his class or you passed him at school.

This one morning, he comes in to find you practically half-asleep at the desk. You don’t pay attention to when he sits down and your books are already open but they’re empty and lifeless on the desk.

“No date this morning?” He nudges you, noticing how your appearance had changed day by day. Deteriorating little by little.

He’d even noticed how your lips seemed a little bit more chapped and your hands seemed drier and less youthful.

You flinch from your daze and try to shake it off, “Yeah, right. Um, what are we doing today?”

And it’s odd how much his heart drops at the question. This wasn’t you. This wasn’t the girl he’d grown so used to seeing every single morning in the same light. That light had dimmed. And he felt it within him that he couldn’t possibly let that light dim any more without at least an attempt at reigniting it again.

- - - - - -

When you come into school early the next morning, it startles you to turn on the light and not be alone in the class. Valerio sat at the desk with his feet up on the table and a proud smirk on his face.

“I beat you,” He comments, “Eventually.”

You wish you had the energy to respond with something witty, but it had been near enough ten days without your parents now - ten days of being alone in the flat without heating in the middle of winter, with the broken fridge and the oven that never heated up properly.

“Hey, we have a test coming up next week,” Valerio comments, “Do you mind helping me study?”

“A test?” You frown, having no recollection of anything being mentioned, “Yeah, yeah, I guess that’s okay.”

It pains him. You were clearly going through something that went beyond the realm of school drama. And yet you’d still agreed to help him with no real reason to accept his request. You could’ve easily said no. You had no obligation to help the boy who was yet to put in an ounce of effort to any day at this place. But he knew that no part of your good heart would have it in you to say no when he’d asked for help.

“Great,” He grins, “Shall we say your place tonight?”

“I-“ You stop yourself, “Could we not go somewhere else?”

“Lu will be at mine, school will be closed, and it’s too cold to go anywhere outside,” He explains, “I’ll meet you there for six.”

“How do you know where I live?”

“I have my ways.”

Those ways consisted of his actions this morning whilst he was waiting for you to make your early entrance to school. He’d broken into the filing cabinet of the school office until he found the file that belonged to you, not looking any further than at the address in the top right hand corner - he’d hope that your meeting with him tonight would tell him the rest of the information that the file couldn’t.

- - - -

At just past six, there’s a repeated buzzing to try to get into your flat and you let Valerio up cautiously. This all seemed very weird. Why had he bothered? He was Lu’s brother - if he needed help with studying why wouldn’t he go to her.

He comes into your flat, still dressed in his school uniform as he smiles widely at you, “So this is your humble abode.”

You roll your eyes, “I’m guessing you didn’t expect much from the scholarship student.”

“It’s nice,” He pokes his head around every corner, “It’s quaint. Are your parents out?”

You scoff before you can stop yourself, “You could say that.”

He looks at you like he had a million more questions to ask but you interject before he can continue. He sits down at one of the seats on your dining table.

“So, I haven’t really prepared much for studying, I figured we could just go through the content and then see which bits you struggle with the most-“

“(Y/n), are you okay?” He cuts in, showing more compassion in that one question than you’d heard from anyone for a long time.

You swallow the lump in your throat, “I told you I’m fine. Can we please just get on with studying?”

“It’s me, of course I didn’t come here to study,” He rolls his eyes, “You can talk to me, you know?”

“Why would I do that? So you can go and tell the rest of them that the new scholarship kid actually has a kind of shitty life at the minute?” Your anger bubbles and you’re not really sure what causes it, “I’m not one of you guys and I know that.”

“Is that really what you think of me? You think I’ve come here to humiliate you,” The look of realisation on his face makes you instantly beyond guilty.

“How could I not expect that?” You sigh, “You said it yourself on my first day.”

“Things have changed since then, (Y/n).”

“Have they? Because you’re nice to me every single morning for an hour, and then the rest of the day consists of you acting like I don’t exist - I see it Valerio, I’m not an idiot,” You shake your head, “Why would I assume that much has changed?”

“Because I care about you (Y/n),” He sits upright and you can tell he cares about what he’s about to say, “I see you every morning and it’s like I’ve seen you go through this whole change since the start of the year. You became more confident and you came out of your shell, and then it all seemed to drop recently. I made up the fact that we had a test and I went into school when it was still dark so I could find your address, and then I walked myself here just so I could come and see you outside of that stupid desk at the back of the class.”

You stay silent. That was true. You couldn’t take for granted the fact that Valerio had been nice to you recently, and conscious of how much you seemed to deteriorate. You watch as he lights up a cigarette and takes a long drag.

“What’s this then? Valerio’s got feelings for the scholarship kid? I don’t think Lu will be impressed.”

You watch his lips curl into a smile and how his teeth flash bright against his dark curls, “I think she’d be surprised about me having feelings for anyone.”

And just like that, it’s probably the most genuine smile youve had in weeks.

[mavmax]

Strange Love (Part I) | Maverick & Sooyun

When: Tuesday, January 19th

Where: Somewhere in Ocean Park. 

Warnings: Drugs, Alcohol

Featuring: @sooyunjeong​

sooyun felt exhausted keeping up the appearance of Eric's supposed girlfriend, which was probably why she found herself at a party that was being held just to get away from the annoying questions and looks of her stealing Eric away. In her defense, Lexa should have made a move on Eric instead of beating around the bush. But it was sort of her fault for sending that selfie to her through Eric's phone while he was passed out.  She shot back the shot and cringed at the taste, vodka wasn't her strong suit but it was the only drink that she could rely on that wouldn't give her a terrible hangover. After the performance, Sooyun left the band behind and ended up at this party where she knew no one, everyone clearly were far different from her social circle. The young girl leaned against the wall and felt the vibration against her body, maybe she shouldn't have taken those drugs. Opening her eyes and squinting as she recoginize the face and that smile anywhere.     "Maverick Maxwell!" Sooyun yelled out, pointing at him as she pushed herself away from the wall and grinned cheekily, "What are you doing here?"

Maverick knew not to pass up any party invitation in Santa Monica, although this one, he almost considered passing up to shoot some hoops to get his mind off the stress that Lexa practically radiated the whole weekend. He needed to let loose, and so, he called up a few of his college buddies, pre-gamed and smoked a blunt--or three, and now here he was crossfaded as all hell and taking shots as if they were water. He mingled throughout the party, making casual conversation from everything to crazy ragers in the past to a recent performance that Maverick had zero clue about, but was bummed out that he missed. He always liked local bands performing. As he made his way to grab himself some snacks from the back, he heard a voice that made his whole body whip around. "Well, well, well, what do we have here!" Maverick smiled making his way over to none other than Soo-yun. "The host invited me and a few of the boys. What're you doing here?"

"I got invited as well," she shrugged her shoulders, she don't even remember who it was that dragged her here but they left her behind as she wander off and made friends left and right. "At least now I know someone around here, I kept getting asked questions and I never know how to hold a decent conversation before running away." Sooyun tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear and grinned, "Did you go to the concert? If so, I didn't see you, I can't even see when I am on stage so there's that." Someone tapped her shoulder as they passed by to wave, in turn, she waved back unaware on who they were due to the fact half the time she doesn't even remember their names, might've been one of the parties she went too in the past. "There's talk of the after after party--who knew people can party for so long."

"Damn, looks like you roll deep around here. Small ass world," He chuckled. With Santa Monica being as big as it is, there was no surprise that people's circles would often intermingle, if they played their cards right of course. "I mean shit, that's what I'm saying cause my boys all disappeared within the first hour and shit. And honestly, conversations can be weird. I like to keep 'em light, talk about different parties, ixnay on politics, spot another person, wave and respectfully dip," He explained with a wry grin. "Wait, there was a concert? Shit...no, I didn't go. Had I known, I definitely would've gone. It's been a while since I've seen local bands play with basketball and shit," He responded honestly. She effortlessly mingled well with people and Maverick had to admit he was pretty impressed, well--he wouldn't mention that now with the haze settling upon him. "That's what I was hearing too! Like damn, you guys really want to party til the break of dawn, huh? Pretty fuckin' wild," He laughed. "Are you going to the after after party?" He asked curiously.

"Yeah there was, it wasn't planned but they needed a band to cover and I figured why the hell not, so hence here I am. Lost my band mates but it's fine, good thing a thing called Lyft is available incase I have to somehow hobble my ass home or sleep with someone." She said out loud, the downside of being intoxicated it appeared the things she normally kept shut was coming to surface, "But on another note, I might...I really don't want to go home and I really don't want to answer any more questions about Eric." Sooyun didn't mind questions about herself but when it came to the supposed relationship, she couldn't come up with anymore lies and the fact Eric wasn't helping by shutting out the world in his dream state, Sooyun was left to deal with the domino affect and dodge questions left and right. She quickly grabbed a plastic red cup and started mixing her own drink, something that would numb the stress. "Also you should go bug Eric sometime...he is practically sleeping his life away at this point."

"Ahhhh, okay. Makes sense. Impromptu gigs are the shit. You show up, surprise the audience, do your thing and wow everyone. I mean, that's what's up, you know? As for the rest of your evening, well, there's a bunch of hotties to go around, so..." Mav chuckled as he looked around at the word "hotties". Last thing he needed was to take a drunken L, least he could do was pretend to be slightly uninterested compared to his sober self, although his sober self was currently taking notes now. "Well, you could either hide out at the next party and scope out to see where there'll be less people or wind up at Onyx?" He added with a shrug. He managed to block out the mention of Eric, probably because he eyed the bottle of tequila and as much as he hated the taste, here he was, reaching over for it, unscrewing the cap and taking a swig from it. Future him is going to hate himself tomorrow. At the mention of Eric again, he chuckled at the thought of him sleeping. "Homeboy sleeps like a bear. Plus, his phone's prolly on DND. I'd say Lexa could get to him, but she's been busy with CEO business and shit. When he wakes up though, we'll prolly go get some gimbap or something."

She knew mention Eric was a low blow, she seen those posts on GG, she didn't think Maverick would actually be that interested in her after the many times she shot him down. She figured that he would move on with ease or maybe she just assumed all that due to her ex who in a way was similar to Maverick but standing here before him, realizing they were completely different sure they shared the confidence of flirting but now Sooyun was able to see that Maverick wasn't anything like her ex. "Yeah he does, which I was surprised but hey...everyone has their niche." Sooyun shrugged, her eyes widening at Maverick drinking the tequila, "Uh...you really think that's a good idea? Tequila doesn't sit well with most people. Not that I should be telling you how to act but I really don't want to drag you out of here, I may act strong but I have no muscles."

While the mention of Eric and Sooyun sucked for the time being, he was able to bounce back fairly quickly, as if he were unscathed. The one thing that's swirled in his mind is that Sooyun's rejected his advances prior anyways, so at the end of the day, the sting lessened. However, he was definitely confused as hell now that Sooyun seemed happy to be conversing with him at the moment. It almost gave him some sort of hope. "I'm pretty sure he can sleep through a tsunami warning at this point. I envy his sleeping pattern, that's for sure," He admitted with a laugh. It would be the only envy he'd admit out loud given his state, too. "Oh this? It went down pretty smoothly, so y'know, that won't be too bad. I was gonna grab some food anyways so the effects of the tequila won't hit too hard," He reassured her with a laugh. "You game to grab some food too?" He offered cautiously.

The mention of food made her realize she hasn't even eaten dinner nor lunch, all the nerves enabling her to eat a decent meal without puking. "Depends...are you going to hunt through said kitchen or are we going to grab an uber because I don't know about you...but now after seeing you take that tequila like a champ, I want to one you up on shots." Sooyun knew that this was a terrible choice especially now she realizes she's drinking on an empty stomach but the fact she was high and about to be even more intoxicated, it just didn't mesh well from the first time around she done this. "Let's see...how about...four shots, make it even. Four for you and four for me...make a toast or whatever." She waved her hand as she grabbed mini plastic shot glasses and grabbed the tequila from Maverick, pouring them the shots and set it between them. "Oh we can even spice it up...if you can't take a shot, you have to make a confession. So...eight shots." That math didn't make any sense but at this point, Sooyun didn't care.

"Yeah, I was gonna check the kitchen first and if there wasn't shit, then we'd grab and Uber and go wherever we felt like eating at,"he shrugged. "You really want to challenge me to shots?" He asked, a devious smirk curling on his lips. Maverick knew very damn well that he was playing with fire at this point. Sure, he took a swig without wincing or making a face, but this was about to be torture...but the thing about Maverick Maxwell was that he never backed down from a challenge, especially from someone as gorgeous as Sooyun. "Bet, you're on," He said with a nod. His crossfaded mind tried to do the math in his head as best as he could. Eight shots between the both of them was bound to fuck them up. "Like truth or dare? Okay, I see the vision here," He said as he watched Sooyun pouring the tequila into each of the shot glasses. Taking one of the shots and handing Sooyun hers, he smirked. "Bottoms up," and threw the first shot back.

Sooyun knew she was about to die, almost like her body knew what she was about to be put into the next day, she tried to pay much mind to it as she squeezed her eyes tightly together and threw the shot back. Cringing as the taste went down smoothly, with a burning trail as a reminder for what she was doing to herself. "Jesus...I swear tequila never gets any easier," she mumbled to herself and wiped the back of her hand against her mouth, looking up at Maverick and laughed, "Another? Or do you want to use one of your truth or dares already?" She teased him, flipping the shot glass upside down onto the table, the sound around them muffled as her attention was solely on Maverick. To think she managed to hide her attraction to him sober but now that sobriety was out the window, it was as if she was a whole different person.

It was official that both he and Sooyun signed their death sentences tonight. Tomorrow was going to be incredibly brutal and he was already mentally blocking out his hangover stage because it was going to be a bitch. The taste of the tequila was smooth but the familiar back of the throat burn was what nearly threw him off, he had to silently smile at his poker face behind it. "No going back now. Despite the back of the throat burn," He teased with a laugh. He met Sooyun's gaze again and nodded. "You're not getting me that easy," he responded with an eyebrow wiggle as he set down his shot glass upside down. He liked that it was just them two playing their own little game, drowning out the rest of the world with just them and tequila. It was beginning to get harder to pretend that he wasn't as interested in her, but that would be a problem for later Maverick. He took his own shot again, throwing it back with a smirk and flipping his upside down. "Just like water," he bragged with a laugh.

"Here I thought you would be weak," she laughed, making a mental note to drink water before she passes out later, but she doubt she would even remember that simple task. "Another then," she grinned as she reached for the second glass and held his out towards him, flashing him a flirtatious smirk, raising the glass and throwing it back, coughing at the burning taste. Sooyun realized the next round she might have to use one of her own truth or dare at this point, especially because she wasn't taking a break between each shots and the thing about tequila, it was worse than vodka, it will creep up and bite her in the ass. She just hoped no one would report what they see tonight towards GG, it was hard enough to not slip up when she was out in public with Eric, she also knew it was hard for him which was why he stayed home and kept his phone on DND to avoid confrontation.

"You severely underestimate me, Soo," He winked, the flirtation slowly creeping back in on him as much as his sober self tried to reign it back in. At this point, all bets were off. Although, he was beginning to think that the impulsive Gatorade vibe would save his life tomorrow morning. At the second shot, the burn was slightly stronger than the last, a clear warning sign for him to slow the fuck down before things got ugly too soon. When he heard Sooyun's cough, he was relieved. At least now they could truth or dare it out because there was no way both of them in the current states that they were in, that they'd make it out in one piece. He pondered what he could confess about, it had to be something small, yet, somewhat meaningful, but still not enough to scratch the surface. Last thing he needed was to confess he practically shut off all emotion about Sooyun so he could move on quicker. "I guess we're gonna have to use that truth or dare card," He chuckled. "Tequila's getting more bitter by the shot, don't you think?

"More like it's death in each shot I throw back," Sooyun grimaced as she reached for the mix drink she made for herself and took a drink to somehow wash out the taste. Mixing alcohol was probably not the best idea but at the moment it definitely helped. "Okay...I guess since I was the one to tap out, you can ask me the magical words of truth or dare." She caved in, letting Mav take the first round since she practically came up with this stupid game in the first place.

"I'm so glad I wasn't the first to admit that," He teased with a laugh. "You're right though, I'll give you that," Maverick tried not to look at the tequila shots as he tried reaching towards the fruit bowl. Finally, sustenance. Grabbing two apples, he handed one to Sooyun and kept one for himself, taking a bite out of it. "I guess so, huh?" He smirked. "Alright Sooyun, truth or dare," He asked coyly.

Sooyun realized her mistake on the fact she was probably going to have this game backfire in her face now that she could either pick truth and having to say something true from his question or dare where he could possibly have her embarass herself. She rolled her eyes, "Dare...not about to spill any secrets just yet," she giggled, waiting to hear his dare for her.

Maverick took another bite of his apple waiting for Sooyun's response. A big smile graced his features as he knew very damn well she was going to play hard to get in this round. "How'd I know that's what you were going to pick?" He teased with a knowing look. "Okay, I dare you to, take off your bra and use it as a hat now, if you don't have a bra...I'm sorry to say, you might have to use your panties as a hat for the night," He challenged.

gaping at him and his words, she assumed he would choose some silly dare not this sort of dare, laughing lightly, "Now what if I wasn't wearing any panties...then what." Sooyun challenged Maverick, of course she was wearing underwear, she wasn't that adventurous and even if she was, she wouldn't admit to anything unless the person she was sleeping with took her clothes off. "Good thing I wore a bra that is easy to slip off," she rolled her eyes as she placed the apple in her mouth to hold and reached behind to unclip it, doing the whole slipping the bra off and out of her sleeve to pull out a soft pink bra and place on her head. "Gotta make sure not to lose this, you know how much bras cost? Which is ridiculous for a tiny piece of cloth.

He couldn't help but laugh at Sooyun's reaction to his dare. Mav knew he wasn't going to make it that easy for her, after all, it wouldn't be him if it was. "The backup plan was charm someone's shirt off to wear it as a head wrap, but that's pretty mild compared to the original," He explained with a grin. He watched the whole ordeal and the one thing he had to admit was girls really had their own tricks on getting bras off without getting their shirts off. He was going to make a note of what Sooyun did--for science. "Don't worry, with a color that pink, it'll be hard to miss," He teased. "Guess that means it's your turn."

[justreadingfics]

Looking For a Heartbeat (7/?)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader

Series Summary: You and Bucky used to be in a relationship. Feelings were hurt, you left. It’s been two years and you’re back. You both will handle the reunion well, won’t you?

Chapter Summary:  The day after  the  rooftop.

Word Count: 2.3K

Warnings for this chapter: angst, cursing, canon physical violence, actions that could be interpreted as suicidal thoughts.

 A/N: Thanks @nedthegay for helping me with this chapter! Please, let me know what you all think. Links are ruining posts, so you can find the the masterlist link on my description. 

  Steve has his full Captain mode on, pointing and explaining the strategies for next mission.  The details of the it mimicked in the 3D holograms hovering over the round table. Something about alien guns and dealers based on an abandoned construction site. Bucky couldn’t tell exactly. Always the same old shit. Whatever Steve’s says falls on deaf ears. His thoughts are somewhere else. Or better, someone else...

His attention is fastened on the vacant seat between Nat and Tony. As far as he remembers, you were never one to be late for briefings, especially the ones right before missions. The team should be those Natasha and Tony, alongside Steve, himself and you, but it’s been at least 20 minutes and you haven’t shown up yet.

Drifting off to the last night events he can’t believe he let that happen. When you got to the roof he thought that maybe that would be the opportunity to finally talk to you, come clean to whatever there might still lingering between you two. But like the damn coward he is, he chickened out, only for two seconds later, to fuck your brains out against the wall.

Jesus… he swears he can still taste you in his tongue, feel your velvet touch around him, the softness of your lips against his… He has no idea what came to his mind. He wasn’t really thinking. All he felt was the desperate need for you, like an addict who finally gets a taste of their drug of choice after a long time of abstinence.

Now, after the relapse, he has to deal with the hangover.

He had had no self-restraint. He was so fucking harsh on you…and you let him. He had you bare and vulnerable under his demanding touch and you let him do whatever he pleased, giving yourself fully to him, driving him fucking crazy.     

You don't deserve this… the way he's been treating you ever since you came back. No matter what happened two years ago, you're not to blame for his own insecurities. You’re not to blame for how unstable he becomes when it comes to you. It's all on him.

Regret weighs on him over the way he left you there, wrecked and alone. But why the hell did you have to go and tell him you loved him? The moment he heard you saying that, holding him between your arms, sounding so fucking sincere… his heart thundered and swelled inside his chest, begging his dazed mind to believe you, to give himself to you the same way you had just done. But in his head, the reality of what you were saying mingled with flashes of the complete abandon he felt when he realized you were gone, and then him begging you to hear those same three words years ago that day in London. If that's the truth, if you truly love him, why did you run from him the way you did?

The sound of opening doors in front of him takes him out of his own thoughts.

“Hey, hey. Look who finally decided to grace us with her Director of SHIELD’s ass,” Tony exclaims, giving you a teasing smile.

As you walk to Tony with a tired smile and bend down to put your arms around him, Bucky can’t avert his stare from the dark circles around your eyes, which you clearly have tried to conceal with makeup. His stomach flips with shame, replaying in his head the way he left you the night before.

“How the hell did you manage to keep Pepper in a thousand years long honeymoon, old man?” You pat Tony’s shoulder wearing a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes by a long shot.  

“Oh honey, I could tell you how, but Cap here would choke on his own guts, and you don’t want me to break America’s favorite toy soldier, do you?”

Nat and you chuckle and, as Steve rolls his eyes and opens his mouth to respond, Tony adds, “By the way, I heard last night was girls night, huh? A wild one, sugar?” He winks after giving you a once over.

As Bucky’s eyes widen, your hand flies to cover your neck in a clearly unconscious act and embarrassment etches in your face, which you quickly try to hide with tight lips.

“Ok, ok. Enough with the chit chat. Sit down, Y/N, I don’t have all day for this shit.”

Bucky thank the Gods for Natasha Alianovna Romanoff. Always saying the right thing at the right time.

Answering Tony’s grimace at her with a similar one, Nat pulls the chair beside her and in front of Bucky for you to sit, which you promptly do, delicately running your hand over your neck and not even once glancing at Bucky, switching your attention to Steve, instead, who pick up from where he’s left off.

His fists clench under the table, gripping the jeans over his thighs. The embarrassment you’ve shown at Tony’s comment feels like a punch in his guts.  He’s disgusted at himself. He’s been that rough, if not rougher, with you during sex before, but this is completely different. Before, there was solely lust, desire and love behind his possessive, demanding actions. Last night there was desperation and even a twisted wish to somehow provoke harm, like some sort of retaliation… He feels like shit, like he’s taken advantage of you, like he’s truly hurt you. And hasn’t he done exactly that?    

He’s a goddamn moron, that’s what he is. Fucking you like he did, instead of acting like a grown ass man and talking to you like Anna had told him to…

Anna...

Is what you said the truth? Is Anna really in love with him? Is he really so blind?

“Are you listening, Bucky?” Steve’s voice is stern.

Bucky blinks and look around, all eyes on him.

Except yours.

“Yeah, yeah, sure.” He lies and nods at Steve, before his eyes seek yours again, only to see your distant gaze fixed on your hands over the table, as your fingers swiftly tug at one another.  

“Let’s go, then.” Steve commands, switching off the holograms and leading the way to the jets after everyone promptly got up to follow him.

~~~

Everything happens so fast. The place where you busted the dealers is a construction site, huge and open. The team needed to disperse in order to deal with the unexpectedly large number of hostiles, who were heavily armed with all kinds of alien weaponry and tech.

You face each one of them who dare to cross your path with all you got. You are reckless,  and don’t listen to Cap’s orders or anyone else’s words of warning through the coms.  If they said there was too many hostiles at a certain spot, there would be; you don’t wait when they tell you to, don’t listen when someone told you need help and can’t do what you’re doing alone. All you see is red. From the enemy’s blood or yours, you can’t tell. This is what you do best, this is you. And right no all you can be is you. And all you can do is fight without anything else in your head and your heart.  

You only stop when you finally hear his voice calling your name. He is shouting, calling for you, desperately, pleadingly, angrily. You turn around just in time to witness what happens next.

One of your opponents were right behind him as Bucky runs to you. You’re quick to take the man down with a single perfect shot from your gun, but not quick enough to stop him before he used a blaster to tear a thick piece of concrete from the construction. Your blood freeze as you see it crashing down towards Bucky’s direction. You sprint to him, screaming and calling his name, taking down whatever blurry figures that come between you and him.

You finally remember to breathe again when you finally get to him and see he has somehow managed to block the concrete, but his metal arm is stuck under the heavy block.

“We gotta get you outta here,” you pant, kneeling in front of him and pointlessly trying to move the block.

“It’s worthless, even I can’t move it.” He’s trapped with his side to the floor, holding his machine gun securely against him with his flesh hand, “There’s more coming, you gotta go,”

“Tony, Steve, where are you?  Bucky’s stuck, we need you here,” You ignore him, shouting through the comms.

“I’m a little stuck myself, darling, gimme a minute.” The answer comes from Tony.

“I spotted you two, I’m coming over,” Steve replies.

And that’s when a buzzing sound catches both you and Bucky’s attention. You spot the shooter up in the building roof before the small red device attaches to the top of the block trapping his arm. Through the small screen, the countdown started: 15, 14…

“Get the fuck outta here,” Bucky screams and pushes you making you fall backwards.

You ignore the desperation etched on his face and in his voice to favor your own, as you get back up and bolts to the device, trying to pull it out of the rock, to no avail. Some damn alien shit...

10, 9…

“Steve, Tony…”

“Almost there,” Steve shouts back.

“It’s gonna fucking explode. I might be able to take it, you certainly can’t! Get the fuck out of here.”  He gestures with his arm for you to go.

“I won’t leave you,” You cry out, still trying to unattach the small explosive.

7, 6…

“You’re gonna die, Y/N.” He desperately begs.

“And do you think I fucking care?” You snap, locking your gaze with his. Silencing him completely.

5, 4…

The ticking of the countdown in the background is all you can hear as you keep  staring at each other.

His blue eyes are terrified and his parted lips are speechless.

3, 2…

“Back off.”

Tony’s voice makes you step back as he jumps to the device, easily hooking it off with a blast and tossing it to the sky just before the loud thunder of the explosion booms.

“Do you have a fucking death wish, Y/N? You were gonna blow the fuck up,” Tony yells at you at the same time he pulls the block off of Bucky’s arm.

You don’t answer. Steve, who has just arrived, gives you a concern expression, offering his arm to lift Bucky up who remains astonished and wordless, staring at you.

Terror still haunting his eyes.

~~~

The rides back home from missions are never cheerful. Even in victory, there’s always the regret, the feeling that more could’ve been done, the heavy weight of the casualties, the collateral damage, and the darkness that inevitably came with a fight.

However, you can’t remember ever feeling the way you feel now. The whole team is quiet; each one busy with their own demons, but also trying to digest what had almost just happened to you.

He’s sitting right across from you. You can feel the fire in his eyes burning into you.  But you don’t dare to look at him.

The jet lands and you’re the first one to rush out, only nodding when Steve says he wants to see you in his office the next day.

You run to your room, leaving the door unlocked behind you. Breathing heavily, you sit on your bed and stare at the door. He will come, you know this.  To scream and yell at you. Call you crazy and reckless. You know what you said and how it sounded. You’re not sure what it really meant for you, though.

But you know he won’t let this one go.

You wait for him.

~~~

It’s hard to contain the tremble on his hands as he rushes past the elevator and hurries over to the stairs, hoping the physical exertion would at least ease down a bit the hurricane inside him.

You were going to die. Right there in front of him. And it seemed like that was all you wanted at that moment. His throat is tight and he feels sick. So utterly sick at the thought. The way you came back, last night, the mission… This is not ok. You’re both a couple of fuck ups and it needs to end.

Right now.  

His heart hammers with every step as he climbs up to her floor. He needs to see her, talk to her, listen to her voice.

He needs to calm the fuck down.

Bucky’s rushed pace halts completely when he meets the door in front of him. He takes in a deep breath and runs his hand over his damp locks before bumping his fists to the wood repeatedly.  

A few seconds pass before the door opens and startled eyes meet his.

“Bucky?” She takes in his appearance, “Are you ok?”

“Is it true?” he ignores her questions, his eyes frantically analyzing her face, “Is it true that you’re in love with me?”

A small gasp slips Anna’s parted lips and her eyes widen even more while she takes an unconscious step back. He can tell she’s struggling with her mind before her jaw clenches and she straightens up her posture, keeping her gaze on him.

“Yes, it is,” she answers, simply, in a soft, yet full of resolution voice.

Bucky doesn’t even let the words sink in before he crashes his lips on hers.

~~~~

[myeyesarenotblue]

Hey @rewouu​ guess what?? I was your secret santa ❤️

I wrote a silly little thing, hope you’ll like it!!! @secret-santa-klaus

Read on AO3

Ben shuts his bedroom door behind him.  

He sighs, taking a deep and heavy breath, after. He shrugs his jacket off. It’s like Dad doesn’t even care that since December rolled around it’s getting nearly impossible to stand outside for two minutes too long without freezing their asses off. He still makes sure they spar, and train, and run around in circles like idiots. Ben hates it.  

He never listens. One of them could say, “But Dad, there’s a gym in the basement! We could easily spar there!” and then Dad will reply, without exception, “The fresh air will do you good”  

It could be, “But Dad, we could run laps in the big staircase!” and then, “You’ve done enough of that already, you should know your regimes need variety”

Or, “But Dad, do we even have to train? We know all the moves already”  

And Dad says, “One can never know too much”  

“You asshole, it’s fucking snowing, we’re gonna get fucking hypo-”  

“You’ve just earned ten more laps, Number Four”  

He never listens. Ben hates it.  

He’s tired, and worn, and he’s pretty sure there’s a big chunk of snow melting somewhere in his underwear. He’d like to blame Diego, but truly, truly, he can only blame himself. He thinks he should remember by know, that going against Diego and making the rookie mistake that is not letting him win after two seconds always results in an array of random objects being thrown into places they shouldn’t be thrown in. He should remember by now.  

But he’s an idiot like that, and he didn’t. There’s snow in his underwear.  

He sighs again, long and heavy and hard, just because he can- and even if there’s no one to listen to his moping, it makes him feel the tiniest bit better.  

He considers turning back into the hallway and taking a shower like a normal person would do, but immediately decides against it. He’s too tired. He’s too tired, and the thought of doing anything at all but letting himself fall face-first into his bed and sleeping for maybe a decade is a little too much to handle at the moment. So he does just that.  

He lays haphazardly across his bed, not even bothering to take off his shoes. He resolves to sleep and sleep and sleep, and plan exactly how surprised and oblivious he’s going to act when Diego’s favorite knife goes mysteriously missing. It won’t exactly be hard, he thinks, to fall asleep after the day he’s had- even the creatures are tired, humming quietly and displeased under his skin.  

Tired, tired, tired.  

He lets the ever-present quiet lull him under, the tap-tap-tap of melting snow dripping down from the roof and into the courtyard. He thinks he can hear Vanya practicing that new song she’s been working on somewhere in the house. He breathes deeply, content, comfortable, resting.  

He’s just about to fall asleep when-  

“Ben!”  

Knocking on his door.  

Ben groans, rolls over until he’s lying on his back.  

“Ben!”

More knocking, gliding into pounding. Ben snaps his eyes shut and makes the very smart choice of ignoring the noise and hoping it’ll go away.  

“Benny!”

It doesn’t go away.  

“Ben, Ben, Ben!”  

Ben pats blindly for a pillow and pushes it tight against his face, hoping it’ll muffle even the tiniest little bit of the noise by some miracle.  

It doesn’t.  

“My best bro, Numero Six! Benny-boy!”

The knocking grows into pounding, and then the pounding sounds like straight up kicking and punching and whacking, and there’s just one person in the academy who’d do that after waiting for exactly five seconds, is there not?  

Ben huffs, annoyed, but not surprised.  

He drags himself off the bed long enough to unlock his bedroom’s door and then plops right down again, this time kicking off his shoes and tucking himself under the covers.  

Klaus strolls inside, looking all smug and proud, and not even a speck of guilty after nearly kicking down his door. But that’s to expect. What’s not to expect, though, is that Klaus is carrying something with him, something hidden behind his back, unseen.  

Ben squints, tilts his head and just barely makes out a sharp edge, wrapped in red.  

He throws Klaus a questioning look and immediately regrets it.  

Klaus squeals a high noise, full anticipation and excitement, and before he knows it, he’s jumping right into his bed. It’s half a second, and he doesn’t have any leverage with his hands behind his back, but somehow, he still manages to make his knee land right somewhere over Ben’s ribs.  

“Ugh- Klaus! Watch it” Ben moans, clutching his stomach while straightening up and scooting over to the side, because apparently, they’re having a sleepover now, whether he wants it or not.  

Klaus sits there, and unsettling expression on his face. Far too giddy for his liking. It can only mean trouble. “Ben,” Klaus gushes and doesn’t say another word, instead of explaining himself. He keeps staring on and his eyes are- sparkling.  

Ben narrows his eyes, “Klaus?”  

He sort of wants to ask if he’s high, but he doesn’t really think that’s it. Drugs tend to make him fuzzy and slow and compliant (at least the ones he usually takes, anyway) and right now he seems far too energetic to be anything but his usual sober self.  

“Hey, Ben” Klaus blurts, giggling like a maniac.  

“Yeah?”  

“Guess what’s behind my back”  

Ben frowns, makes a face. He doesn’t like surprises. And besides, besides, “How are you not tired?”  

“Oh, no. I totally feel like I’m gonna pass out any second” Klaus mutters, but he’s chewing- his tongue, or his cheek, or something, and he’s jittery and frenzied. Ben starts doubting that drug thing, but then- “I drank like, half a pot of coffee an hour ago”  

“I thought you hated coffee”  

“Yeah, fuck coffee! That thing tastes like shit”  

Ben blinks, very carefully doesn’t ask where the hell Klaus even got coffee since Dad absolutely loathes the thing and doesn’t allow it in the house. “Yeah,” he says, because he doesn’t know what else to say. “Yeah, it tastes pretty awful”  

Klaus nods along, but then he seems to remember he barged in into his room for a reason. “You haven’t guessed” he moans, pouting. “Guess!”  

“Uh, I don’t-”  

“Fine, I’ll tell you”  

Klaus doesn’t waste a single second, and in the blink of an eye, he’s pulling the something he was hiding from behind his back and shoving it all of two inches away from Ben’s face. Ben scrambles backwards instinctually, nearly falling off the bed, but he manages to keep his balance just in time to look up, and then-

And then he sees it.  

Shiny red and pretty, a little rectangle wrapped in craft paper.  

He’s left blinking dumbly at it, again, and again, and again, and for the longest, most embarrassing moment, he doesn’t quite understand what he’s seeing, doesn’t understand the carelessly thrown pieces of glitter, or the giant green bow, or the crude little drawing in the corner, all sharpie lines and messy scribbles, of what can only be a reindeer sprouting tentacles in place of antlers. 

“Merry Christmas, Ben” Klaus says, smiling softly, eyes twinkling.  

Christmas.  

Ben’s-

They’ve never done Christmas. Ever. They’ve never done Easter, or Halloween, or Thanksgiving, or any of those pretty and entrancing theme days- holidays, those ones from the movies and the billboards, the ones where everyone looks happy and relaxed and loved.  

They’ve never done any of that.  

They barely do birthdays. Dad hands them some pen or some journal or some keychain with an engraved umbrella, all wrapped up in the dullest paper, and that’s it.  

Ben’s-

Ben stares up at the shiny rectangle, stares up at the big bow.  

He always did wonder what those children in the movies and the billboards were feeling when they found a present under their Christmas tree. They always look so unexplainably, unmistakably, irrevocably, plain happy-  

Overwhelmed and overjoyed, entranced.

Ben never understood.  

He thinks he understands now.  

“Klaus, you-” Ben starts, amazed, eyes wide, but he thinks he’s been staring dumbly for a little too long, speechless and way too startled. Klaus’ pulled the little rectangle closer to himself, away from Ben, away and into his chest.  

“I mean,” Klaus mutters, and he’s lost a bit of that twinkle, now shifting nervously, “I know it’s silly, so it’s cool if you don’t, like-” and he’s biting his lip, avoiding Ben’s eyes, “like it, or want it, y’know? It’s just-”

Ben huffs, decides to make the very wise decision that is interrupting Klaus’ rambling before it gets any worse, “Hey, Klaus, you don’t-”

But Klaus doesn’t listen.  

“-you're always watching all those Christmas movies in our half hour, so I thought-”

“Klaus!”  

“What?”  

Klaus looks up sharply, startled.  

Ben doesn’t even have the heart to tell him the reason he watches all those Christmas movies during their half hour is because he might or might not have developed an unhealthy obsession with romcoms over the past few months. He had to get to the Christmas ones at some point. There’s only so many times a person can watch 13 Going on 30.

Ben swallows, pushes down his thoughts and instead focuses on what’s right in front of him. “Is that,” he starts, far more nervous than any shiny big bow has any right to make him, “Is that for me? A present?”

“Yeah, sure” Klaus says, and it sounds almost like a question. The smile’s back on his face, though. “A Christmas present, if you will”  

Ben chuckles, disbelieving and happy. “Isn’t that thing about Jesus”  

Klaus gasps, “Well, yeah, but-” he sighs, very clearly annoyed. “We can just ignore that part. Besides, I once had a really fucked up dream that I died and God was an ethnically ambiguous teenage girl who called me a loser and then kicked me out of heaven, so I’m not really big on religion”  

Ben blinks. Tries to make sense of Klaus’ words.  

He can’t.  

“What?”  

He has a feeling that particular dream of his might have been fueled by some strong hallucinogens.

Klaus rolls his eyes, “Do you want your present or not?”  

“Of course I want it” Ben hisses, maybe a little too aggressive. Even the creatures stir, rumbling under his skin. Ben snaps his eyes shut briefly, takes a deep breath and wills them to settle. Is he really getting all that possessive over what’s probably a pack of smokes, or a beer, or some dirty magazine snatched from that creepy convenience store down the street?  

Yes, yes, he is.  

Klaus watches him, amused. “Good” he says, a breath from laughing, and Ben kind of wants to punch him in the face. “I was starting to get a little worried, here”  

Ben glares at him, crosses his arms over his chest.  

Klaus sighs, all dreamy and annoying, and then, and then, “Merry Christmas, brother o’mine!” he announces, incredibly loud, and bright, and obnoxious, and before Ben can do anything to stop him, he’s launching forwards and planting the wettest, grossest, biggest kiss right on Ben’s cheek.  

“Ugh-”  

He tries to push him away, only half succeeds. Klaus laughs- the asshole, and then he promptly shoves the bright little rectangle on Ben’s lap, climbing out of bed with uncoordinated movements. “May your days be holy and bright” he gushes, a glaring smile on his face.

Ben rubs his cheek, scrunching up his nose. There’s actual spit smeared in there, and he- “What the hell, Klaus? You can’t go around licking people, that’s gross”  

“I did not lick you” Klaus retorts almost immediately, all sure words and confident stance, even though he very much did lick him. Ben rolls his eyes. “Anyway,” Klaus says. “Merry Christmas, bro. Enjoy your present”  

And then he’s gone.  

He squeezes Ben’s shoulder, shoots him a dizzying smile one last time, and then he’s snatching open his bedroom’s door, stepping out.  

“Hey, Klaus” Ben calls, before he can leave.  

“Yeah?”  

Ben levels him with a look. Out of everyone in the house, he’s not surprised it was him, Klaus, of all people, the one who’d actually want to do something special for the holidays, or anything at all. Still, he feels- warmed, loved. Happy. Overwhelmed and overjoyed, entranced.  

Just like the people in the movies.  

“Thank you” he says, and he means it.  

Klaus nods, looking down, shy all of the sudden, and then he’s shutting the door behind him without another word.  

Ben stares at the door, unblinking.  

He doesn’t move a single muscle for a long moment, too busy trying to make sense of what just happened. He’s almost afraid of looking down and to his lap, and to his present , afraid that somehow- somehow, it won’t be there.  

Ben swallows, rubs the last of Klaus’ spit away from his cheek and then ghosts his fingers over the craft paper, shiny red and pretty. The drawing is, indeed, a sad attempt of a red-nosed reindeer sprouting tentacles. It’s got googly eyes, and everything. Ben’s kind of impressed.  

He unties the ribbon carefully, mindful not to disturb the paper too much, and then he’s peeling the mess of tape away, and- he knows, he knows the children in the movies always tear and rip and shred, and maybe he should, too, but he can’t really bring himself to do it. He thinks he’s going to end up keeping that little piece of red paper forever and ever, tucked away along with his most prized possessions.  

When he’s done with the tape, done freeing his present from the paper, Ben holds his breath, stops just shy of revealing what’s inside.  

From the weight and feel of it, he thinks it might be a book, and isn’t that the most wonderful thing ever? He’s read everything half-decent in the house already, Klaus knows that- Ben's told him, in several occasions, late at night when neither one of them can sleep and the only thing they can do is whine about their lives to each other.  

Ben smiles, bites his bottom lip.  

He lifts the paper up and away slowly, stets it aside, and then he’s left staring at-

H. P. Lovecraft – The Call of Cthulhu and Other Weird Stories

Oh, Ben thinks. Oh.  

And he thinks back to the handful of short stories by Lovecraft he managed to read before Dad confiscated the forgotten book he had found lying around in the house, thinks back to the endless hours he had rambled non-stop about it, very nearly talking Klaus’ ear off.  

It’s perfect, Ben thinks. It’s the best Christmas present he’s ever gotten.  

The only Christmas present he’s ever gotten.  

He lets a burst of hysterical laughter bubble out of his throat, holds the book tight against his chest, carefully, so very carefully. Maybe he’s ought to have a long talk with Klaus about dialing down the whole tentacle-themed-everything thing, but-  

Most importantly, Ben thinks, laughing deliriously, insane, happy- most importantly, he needs to sneak out of his bedroom’s window the second the opportunity presents itself, climb out, and then he needs to wander all of the streets and the stores and the shops, looking for the perfect gift.  

It’s just not fair that Klaus can now say he’s given a Christmas present but not that he’s received one.

[hecohansen31]

Idea : Hawthorne Michael in a secret relationship with shy Witch!Reader. After a while, she starts to think he wants their love to be secret because he is ashamed of her and at the same time, being the Wonder Boy, he is loved by all the warlocks and the witches, it will change if they knew he was with someone. The truth is that Michael is a intimate man, who doesn't anyone want to bother them, or her. It's their story, no one else need to know. At the end, they are two stupid idiots in love.

A/N: First of you… I LOVE YOU, NONNIE!

Literally this is my first ask I can actually write so I am excited, and I hope dearly that I won’t disappoint!

Also, I just wanted to encourage you to send me asks, even anonymously (I totally get that somebody might not like the spotlight, and I love you all the same you anonymous lovelies!).

I write only for fictional characters (and more specifically: Michael Langdon, Duncan Shepherd, Jim Mason, and I am working something on another fandom… but feel free to request something else, and I shall see what I can do about it!) and reader insert.

Also, I write smut, but please avoid subject as watersports, choking and extreme degradation (I am not kinkshaming you, but I am comfortable around those subjects, hope you will understand).

Also, if you want to send something with trigger warnings (such as drugs, non-con, mental issues or any other sensitive matters) please message me first and if you want to keep it anonymous just know that I will have to think about it, before accepting it, thank you for your patience…

(Also, I am glad that it is about Hawthorne! Michael, because I love that boy with all my loving heart and sometimes I worried I might seem too monotone, but Hawthorne hoes, be ready for something very interesting next week)

Now after this long, preface, here I am with the answer!

Trigger Warning: Mention of Abuse and Fight.

Being shy was her most common trait, the one you could see from the how she didn’t dare utter even a single sound in company of people, if not asked first.

She blushed easily and social confrontation put her at unease, preferring the confrontation of her mind and the comfort of a little circle of friends, who she trusted blindly.

Obviously discovering she was a witch was something that changed her life thoroughly and she had to leave her quiet life behind, for charms and magic and new people, the latest worrying her much more than anything else in the world.

She didn’t fit in the “strong witch” idea, preferring to be a gentler one such as Misty Day, although sometimes even her company was too much.

A company she seemed to enjoy instead was Michael Langdon’s.

They had been paired for a project, a charm had gone wrong in a club of New Orleans and they had had to avoid the possibility that it might have any repercussion on humans, and although Michael Langdon seemed al high and mighty, with his haughty attitude and his strong personality, he had been nice with her.

He had helped her, instead of making fun of her mistakes, teaching her a few things meanwhile they worked, which made her open up to him, and slowly they had developed feelings for each other, firstly shyly, each thinking they were unrequited, but then, slowly, they had each recognized signs of an infatuation and ended up confessing it to each other.

They had ended up sealing their confessions with a sweet kiss underneath the security of a shadowed spot in the gardens of Robinchaux.

And from then on, they had started a reserved relationship, made of stolen kisses and sweet notes passed through each other, birds singing her the “good morning” he couldn’t give her, and little trinkets being brought to his door with magic each time he needed comfort.

Who knew that Michael Langdon could be such a romantic man?

Or better boy.

Because although he was as strong as a mature man, he sometimes had childish manners, the only thing about him that annoyed her, such as the way he was always a bit flirty with anyone, justifying it as just wanting to be nice, but she could see witches and warlocks alike fawning over him and sometimes she wanted to just kiss him in front of everyone…

… but she just couldn’t.

They had been, since the start, reserved with each other and their relationship, since they both disliked PDA, but she had always thought it was her who was too shy for it, not Michael, with his smiles and smirks and always perfectly curly hair.

But slowly… she had started developing a strange craving for public displays of affection,  amazed at the way Misty Day and Cordelia gently held each other’s hand under the table at dinner, or the way Zoe and Madison hugged each other softly in their most private moments (on which she had walked in, since she shared her room with the brown-haired witch) and finally the comforting way Coco and Mallory talked about each of their problems.

Slowly she had started craving that form of intimacy, which had prompted her to search it in her own relationship, and that day she had felt extremely confident, happy of an exam going well, a charm turning perfectly, thank to Michael’s suggestion to breath and think before speaking up.

She had found him outside her classroom, strolling around with his close circle, and immediately, overcome by happiness and confidence she had moved fast, throwing her arms around his neck or at least trying to.

Their eyes met for a brief moment and although hers were full of happiness and love, his were unmoving and annoyed, almost.

Which should have made her foresee what happened next.

He, swiftly, avoided her hug and she almost fell down, losing her balance for a few minutes and regaining it just in time, gripping his shirt, but he immediately pushed her, and this time she had nothing to grip, which made her fall and land on her ass.

The pain coming from the hit wasn’t as bad as the shame she felt inside.

So, she chose to stay down, meanwhile Michael and the other warlocks moved away from her, everybody giggling at her expanse.

From then on, she felt only heartbreak, moving to her room immediately and she hide there, for the entire day, avoiding lunch and dinner, no matter Zoe’s protests, to which she replied that she wasn’t hungry in the slightest, justifying her lack of appetite as a headache.

Whereas it was her heart which hurt.

Had he rejected her because he was ashamed of her?

It wouldn’t be the first time it happened, alongside the fact that she should have seen it coming.

Michael Langdon didn’t date little things like her, uncapable of even saying her name without stuttering, unable to keep up a conversation as his friends, not nearly as pretty as him or any of the girls he could have with those devilish good looks.

She had been so stupid to believe that he might have wanted her for what she was.

Her stomach grumbled, interrupting her self-destructive thoughts and she finally was able to think about something else, and hear the knocking on the door, behind which, she hoped, was Zoe, with some leftovers, since she had promised to bring her some.

So, she moved quickly to get to the door, opening it to find a very worried Michael, still in his elegant suit, and it was as if his perfectness was mocking her unmade hair and oversized pajama, with bunnies all over it, and she almost moved to close the door, as if this would make him disappear.

Sadly, it didn’t work like that.

-Hey, love! – he giggled, moving forward to touch her hand but she pushed herself away, something he gave not too much mind -… I heard Zoe, over at dinner, say that you had a bit of an headache…-.

-Yes, and because of that I would like to be left alone- she mumbled, trying to close swiftly the conversation, not wanting to confront him when she felt at her lowest.

He seemed confused and again tried to reach out for her, this time for her cheek.

-… hey, sweetheart, seriously… did something bad happen? – he seemed seriously worried for her -…  can I do something about it? -.

-As I have said, leave me alone, Michael- they never used first names, so he immediately realized something was wrong, and not with her body.

-Whatever happened between us we can talk about it, love of…-.

-Don’t call me that- she replied bitterly, standing up on her toes, to look at him in the eyes and he immediately backed off, surprised more than actually scared by her.

-Did I do something wrong? – he asked, confused.

-The fact that you have to ask is enough to show how much you care about me- she replied dryly, turning around, offering him only her back, turning to move to her bed, adjusting her computer or iPad on it.

-…I care about you- the statement was extremely sincere and his tone looked pained as if he had seriously been hit by her previous phrase, and she almost wanted to turn around and comfort him, but decided that as much as he could be unresponsive like her, she would do the same -… and I would never do anything with the purpose of hurting you, you know this-.

-Oh, then it must have been for my own good that you shoved me down like a sack of potatoes, this morning, treating me like that, and then giggling off with your friends… I had a ton of fun, believe me- her sarcastic tone reached its peak and she giggled hysterically.

She expected him to finally leave her alone, but he did the opposite, moving closer and making her turn around and as she was halfway through order him to release her wrist, she found him looking at her with pain in his eyes and heartbreak curving down his mouth.

The truly look of somebody who had realized his mistakes.

-… I am sorry, (Y/N)- he uttered, his voice had become small and she tried to find any trace of mockery in it, but he was sincere, he had always been sincere with her -… I thought that you wanted to keep this a secret and…-.

-Oh, of course, your girlfriend moves in to give you an hug and you… you push her down…- she replied, meanwhile she felt terrible for kicking a man already down -… you were ashamed of me in front of your precious warlocks friends, ask them to cuddle you when you have nightmares-.

She was half expecting Michael to release his rage, she had seen it happen whenever he didn’t get his way, but this time he had only tears she allowed him a truce.

-I didn’t mean to hurt you, I swear, (Y/N) … I am just… I am not used to this display and when I saw you coming my way… I didn’t realize you wanted to hug me till it was too late… I thought you wanted…- it all came out in broken moans, and it took all her soul not to hug him.

He had somehow thought that she had wanted to attack him, instead of hug him, that’s what he had wanted to say, and she somehow understood that she hadn’t been exactly calmed and controlled.

She herself had touch boundaries, so she should have recognized Michael’s.

-I would never hurt you, Michael- “although you would”.

-I know- his tone, of true trust and belief made her heart flutter -… you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, the sweetest, but…- he turned his head away, ashamed of what was coming next.

-Michael, explain to me what is going through your mind, so I can understand it- “and accept it”.

She didn’t feel like fighting with him no more, not after his tears and his heartbreak, they weren’t supposed to feel this way.

They cared about each other to let it go to waste.

-… people in the past have hurt me- he just said, but it all held a deeper meaning -… people who loved me, and it made me feel weak, the one thing that I am not supposed to feel, here, not when I am the Alpha. And now whenever I feel like somebody might hurt me… I just hurt first… and this doesn’t justify what happened…-.

-You are not weak because of this- she said, meanwhile finally holding her hand out, understanding what had gone through Michael that morning: he wasn’t used like her to hugs, and whereas she had thought that his reservation to any signs of affect came from being as shy as her, she hadn’t thought it could much more -… you are strong because you survived this, and I am very proud of you-.

She eve went as far as to mess with his hair, getting a little laugh from him, who gently looked up at her.

-I am sorry if my actions made it seem like I didn’t want you, I want you … a lot… (Y/N) – he pushed himself in her arms, promptly hiding his head in her neck.

-… and I am sorry I assumed too fast what was going on- she kissed the crown of his head, gently caressing his back -… I won’t bother you publicly anymore, if you…-.

He stopped her halfway through the sentence, looking up.

-… just start slowly, please- he mumbled, before reaching out for her hand -… I want to go anywhere with you and kiss you in front of anyone, but… I have my limits-.

-And I have mine- she agreed to their implicit deal, before sealing it with a kiss on his cheek.

And they were having a perfect moment, till her stomach grumbled.

-… I think that your stomach might have just asked for food- he giggled, before he separated himself from the hug, holding out his hand and gentlemanly asking  -… will, my lady accompany me to a late night out in the kitchen to find something to cure her “stomachache”? -.

-Only if you carry me, like a true lady! – she joked, but Michael took it all a bit too seriously, pushing her in a bridal style hold, before kissing her fully on the lips to quiet her protests.

-Off to the royal kitchens-.

They passed the rest of the night eating ice cream (both from the bowls and each other faces since Michael had almost started an ice cream war), and although she knew that they would need to confront some of Michael’s demons soon, she knew he had been sincere that night and part of her heart cried for what had happened to him.

But now that she knew, she would do her best to make Michael Langdon feel cherished in every possible way.

Starting from kissing him “good night” after their little kitchen adventures, meanwhile he asked for more kisses, just to be shooed off since it was a bit too late, meeting Zoe halfway the stairs, a smirk appearing on the witch’s face who just looked at her roommate and uttered.

“Hope that you had a nice night, with your ‘headache’ ”.

[transassbuttwriting]

My 27th Birthday: Pieces

Word Count: 2, 658 Warning(s): Drug use mentioned, overdose mentioned, depressing narrative

It may have been the time, but Geoff forgot just how much he loved sitting outside. Nothing, but a cup of tea in his hands, a radio on full volume, and the wind dancing through his hair. It reminded him of rehab and how he spent most of his free time there. He would sit in the courtyard, writing in his journal as other patients walked by in their own world. He only wrote in that book because he was told to. Writing down his thoughts didn’t help him a lot, but he did it nonetheless. Just to make his therapist happy with him.

He shook his head. He retrained his attention on the flowers in the backyard. They ranged from white to pink to purple to blue, all pastels. He couldn’t remember his mother gardening much. He just guessed the flowers were already there, planted for them. It didn’t matter to him. Even as a child, he would just pick the ones he thought were the prettiest, only for him to get tattled on by his sister and scolded by his parents. Looking back, he realized how bad that was for the flowers. However, a dandelion bouquet wasn’t appreciated either so, what was he supposed to do?

The song on the radio shifted along with his feelings, a low beat and soft acoustic strum started to play. Geoff took a sip of his tea, burning his tongue as he did. He couldn’t remember the last time he drank tea. Obviously before his death, but it was definitely before his 27th birthday. It must have been with Randy and his girlfriend, or was it wife?

He paused, his brows creased. He was forgetting a lot. That bullet must have done something to his head. He couldn’t even remember the most intimate details of his life. He wasn’t even an old man, not that he ever would be.

Geoff stood up, placing his tea down beside the radio before he walked into the living room. The photo album still sat where he left it ages before. He felt nauseous every time he looked in its direction. He never wanted to relive the emotions he felt looking at those memories, but if he was forgetting everything, he had to look.

He picked it up and brought it outside with him. The cursive introduction haunted him as he flipped through the pages. He would go slower this time. He would skip the parts he would hate and linger on the ones he loved. Yeah, that was the plan.

The first photo he saw was of one-year-old him leaning against his sister’s crib who at the time was just a few months old. His face was shmooshed between two bars, his lips pouted out. Geoff laughed at himself. He didn’t get any less annoying as his sister grew up. He turned to another photo. This one had both him and his sister, much older and in their Sunday best, smiling big at the camera. He faintly remembered a distant family member taking the photo, but out of the many cousins that were several times removed, it was hard to keep track of everyone. Underneath the photo, Geoff found cursive writing.

After Geoff & Kimberly’s First Performance

Oh yeah! Geoff smiled at the photo, tracing the letters with his finger. Kimberly knew piano and both were in the church choir. Possibly their parents started it or maybe a great grandparent, but Geoff remembered him and Kimberly performing songs they knew for their family right after church. Brunch was served by each member as they sang, the quality of their performance strengthening throughout the years. He believed they pranked the entire family once by performing The Bitch is Back instead of Bennie and the Jets. It didn’t end very well for either of them.

Geoff flipped through the pages, memories returning once he looked at the photos. He found more of him and Kimberly and more of him with David. Childhood memories he had forgotten due to his partying years. It was strange staring at his younger self. Possibly it was because it was so long ago and he couldn’t remember being that small. Maybe it was something in his eyes that changed. Maybe it was nothing.

His favourite out of the bunch was one of him, Kimberly, and David. It was Halloween and Star Wars had just came out earlier that year. David had insisted on being Han Solo, even though Geoff threw a fit about it. Now he didn’t understand why he was being so whiny. Luke was just as cool, possibly even cooler, than Han and he was a Jedi. Who could go wrong with being a Jedi? That meant Kimberly was Leia despite David and Geoff’s pleads for her to go as Chewbacca.

The photo was taken in the middle of them yelling trick-or-treat with their bags outstretched. It was a photo that must have been taken by some unknown being, but Geoff was glad it was taken. They all looked so happy.

He turned the pages again and the photos became newer as he grew older. He grew up along with Kimberly and it was obvious how different they became once they turned into teenagers. While she looked like a model teenage girl with long skirts and done-up hair, Geoff looked like he was a member of Mötley Crüe. He laughed at himself for looking so ridiculous.

Cautiously counting, Geoff skipped ahead in the photo album. He saw himself in rehab and after the treatment. The rest of the album was just of him and Needles. The makeup and big hair disappeared and their appearances changed. Age, weight gained or lost, bad decisions. All reasons for their looks.

The last photo he looked at made a small smile appear on his face. Needles was sitting at a long table in a restaurant, smiling at the camera. Geoff remembered a server taking the photo and that the food was pretty good. One side was David, Geoff, and Susie and on the other was Chris, Randy, and...what was her name? He looked down at the writing beside it to find the missing name.

Emilia! Randy’s wife! Oh, I wonder how she’s doing. Geoff thought, his finger unknowingly covering Susie’s face. He always thought they were a cute couple. He was glad they got married after years of dating.

There was a knock on the front door. Geoff turned off the radio and brought in the photo album and his now cold cup of tea. He wondered who would at his home at–he looked at the clock–only ten in the morning?

He opened the door and let out a huff of joy. Janis grinned up at him, her sunglasses and hair covering most of her face. Maybe he needed a friend to talk to.

“Hey, Jan.” He smiled, moving back to invite her in.

“Heyo, Geo. You wanna join me for a walk? I had a feeling you’re not doing much.”

Geoff stopped and wrinkled his nose at her. Of course he was doing something! He was sitting and staring at flowers. Okay, he wasn’t doing anything.

“Yeah, sure, I have time.”

Janis grabbed Geoff’s hand and pulled him along to the sidewalk. He barely managed to shut his door as he was startled by the fact that she had more strength than he originally thought. Janis’ grip loosened after a while, her speed slowing down until she was beside Geoff. She started to ramble about small things and he listened to each and every word carefully, even if she didn’t care about them.

The clicks of their shoes on the concrete turned into the crunch of leaves and pebbles as they turned onto a smaller trail, leading into a forest. The trees became thicker as they continued to walk and Janis’ voice ceased to leave. Geoff added his own comments every now and then, but he felt she wanted an ear to hear her. The day was calm, clouds covering most of the sky. It was peaceful and quiet, leaving the two to be in their own world.

A clearing, tiny compared to most, appeared in the middle of the trail and Janis’ voice faded. She grinned and spun around, her arms out, taking in every inch of the scenery. Geoff looked around and noticed a couple of flower bushes at the bottom of tall pine trees. He knelt down and smelled one.

Janis sighed, a smile still on her face, “You can’t get this from drugs, I’ll tell you that much.”

Geoff whipped his head up, “Excuse me?”

“Yeah, there’s Southern Comfort, but this,” she gestured toward the flora, “this is something beautiful.”

He looked around and stared at the trees and bushes. He had no idea what she was seeing, but he definitely wasn’t seeing anything spectacular. He grew up with nature like what stood in front of them and everything turned dull in the end. Why think something is beautiful if you’ve seen in everyday of your life?

Janis dropped onto the ground, sitting with one knee up. Geoff joined her, crossing his legs. She began to pick the flowers, peonies Geoff now realized, by the stems and started to tie them together.

“Drugs aren’t that good anyway. I mean...look where they got me.” Janis joked, adjusting each flower.

Geoff stiffened, his eyes avoiding Janis. It had been a while since he even thought about drugs. He wanted to avoid it as long as possible, whether it was unhealthy or not for him to bottle up his thoughts. There was always a sick feeling in his stomach when drugs were mentioned, as if it was retreating further into his back. He just felt nauseous.

Janis noticed how Geoff’s hands tightened on his thighs and frowned.

“Touchy subject?”

Geoff nodded.

Janis raised her brows, “Oh. Well, if you want to talk about anything, my ears are wide open, baby.”

She continued to tie the peonies together, placing them down once they were connected into a circle. She grabbed more and started to make another one.

Now it felt like a pot about to overboil. Geoff wanted to say so much, but he had only known Janis for less than four months. She didn’t need to hear any of his problems. That was his own business and no one else’s burden. He needed to keep his mouth shut. He needed to solve his own issues and not piggyback on others’ efforts. Besides, would she even understand his incoherent feelings?

“I had an addiction.”

Oh, goddammit.

Janis’ head perked up.

“I was an alcoholic and a heroin addict. It...It fucked me up to put it lightly.” He found himself laughing. At himself mostly.

As he started, Janis stopped fidgeting with the peonies, placing down the circle she was working on. Her attention was purely on Geoff.

“When you start, you never think that it would get bad. You always tell yourself ‘I’ll stop after this shot’ but you don’t. Parents always warn you about drugs and how they’re bad. They always say how they’ll disown you and how they would be disappointed. They never tell you how enticing they are.”

Janis slipped her hand into Geoff’s, squeezing it tightly. Her eyes hadn’t left his face and his were still staring at the flower bush. Everything was just spilling out. He couldn’t stop.

“I don’t remember much of my overdose, but I do remember bits and pieces. I remember drinking whiskey and shooting up. I closed my eyes and when I opened them, I was in a hospital. I was strapped to the bed because I apparently tried to attack the nurses. All I could remember from between was hearing someone screaming ‘All blue...They’re just blue…’”

Nothing. Janis didn’t respond. She waited for Geoff to continue. He could feel a lump in his throat as he tried to hold back tears.

“Randy and David found me and took me to the hospital...It was David yelling. He told me that he looked into my eyes and just saw blue.”

Geoff felt Janis’s hand tense up against his. He didn’t turn her way, but he could feel how her eyes widened. He crossed over and rolled up his sleeve over his elbow. He rubbed at the crease of his elbow, tracing the vein.

“This entire area was covered in track marks...I don’t think I was ever sober during my life. Even when I wasn’t, I felt miserable.”

Janis tried to smile, but it looked forced. She caressed Geoff’s hand with her thumb and he finally looked in her direction.

“I’m sure it did feel like it was horrible, but I’m certain there was good moments too.”

Before he could clearly think, Geoff shook his head. His stomach dropped when Janis’ smile fell.

“What’s with the shake, Geo?”

Geoff couldn’t think of an answer.

“Did you have friends who cared about you?”

“Yes-”

“Did you have a family who would die for you?”

“I suppose-”

“Do you remember any inside jokes you had with your friends?”

Geoff started to smile, “Yes-”

“Did your friends have fun with you or try to make you smile?”

“Of course!”

“There were some good moments!” Janis’ smile returned.

Geoff paused, his smile cracking slightly. Where was she going with this? “I’m not saying that your life wasn’t shit because I believe that you were unhappy. However, I refuse to believe that there were no good moments, even when you were a kid. I’m one hundred percent certain that your friends and family tried their best to make your life amazing. Your band cared about you. The way you talk about them, I hope they did! Just promise me one thing, baby. Don’t compare your life to others. Enjoy your life and afterlife by your standards.”

Her hands returned to the circle of flowers. She added one more peony and set the circle on her head. She grabbed the other one and placed it on top of Geoff’s head. They were flowers crowns. How could Geoff not see that?

“I know it will be hard to get over everything that happened while you were alive, but promise me you’ll remember the good. That you’ll remember that you enjoyed it.” Geoff nodded. He felt a weight off his shoulders that had been there for years. Even though he felt a sharp pain in his heart, it was far more tolerable than the dull and everbuilding pain of keeping quiet.

Janis looked Geoff over, a sly smirk appearing on her lips.

“The peonies are actually cute on you. Maybe you should have some at your house.”

He smiled, a petal falling from his crown. Staring at Janis with an identical flower crown, she looked like how people depicted Mother Nature. It made Haven feel more like home.

They stood up and began to walk back to Geoff’s house. They continued to talk, but instead, Geoff was one to talk Janis’ ear off. He told her stories of when he was younger and how he mended his relationship with his sister after his overdose. Janis just smiled, listening carefully to each word that he said.

Once they arrived back, Janis stepped on the tip of her toes and kissed Geoff’s forehead. Her hand rested on his cheek and he sheepishly smiled.

“If you need to talk, just know that I’m here for you and so is everyone in the club.”

Geoff nodded, “Yes, I know.”

Janis lingered for a moment before she started to walk off, waving back at Geoff as she did.

Geoff didn’t take off his flower crown when he entered his home. He didn’t take it off when he grabbed the photo album and sat down outside. He touched the crown and sighed as he saw at the end of the photo album a new photo of him and Janis sitting beside the flower bush.

[lillaxtrigger]

Young Hope: Chapter 27

The twinkling night sky glistens over the metropolis of Townsville, the Spicer manor lighting through the darkness as the sound of applause escapes its walls. Within the living room of the abode itself, a small crowd of friends and family applaud and cheer surrounding the oldest son of the estate; Kingsley holding what looked to be a gold medal in the palms of his hands. The cheers of the small crowd dying down, the boy genius reads the words engraved in the medals reflective gold; saying: “1st place in the Townsville national gadgeteers competition.” After reading the engraving aloud, Kingsley turns back to the welcoming crowd behind him, announcing to them all that: “An award that I couldn’t have begun to imagine winning these past few days. I can’t thank everyone enough for their love, their smart thinking, and their endless support. I sincerely mean it when I say I couldn’t have won this without all of you. Thank you.” “I was all you, Kingsley. You earned that reward.” Persi compliments. “You did such a fantastic job sweetie.” his mother applauds. “Way to go, Spicer.” Cayenne simply cheers.

Despite the almost overwhelming ovation the boy genius gets, only one among the cheering circle outright refuses to join in; Kingsley younger sister glaring through the crowd with her bleak and contemptuous gaze. Chloe’s sour mood only worsens when she witnesses their father approach her smiling brother take the golden medal from him and claim that: “Beating out the entire gadgeteers expo on the first try ain’t something any genius can do. How bout we put this somewhere everyone can see.” Venturing out to the bookshelf on the side of the living room, the father perches the golden reward right in the middle of the shelf; taking center stage next to a collection of various other award owned by his son. “Aw dad, that hunk of gold ain’t nothing. Its the people that helped me along the way that matter more.” Kingsley’s cheesy line causes the crowd to erupt in a whale of applause and laughter, the cheering proving to be the last straw that his red headed sister can take before taking her leave in a bitter huff; her mother being the only one to notices her departure.

In her stomping huff through the living room, Chloe fails to catch the emergency news broadcast playing on their television; the reporter warning that: “-advise everyone to stay inside their homes for the night. The coma epidemic that has been plaguing the entire city this past week is still ongoing and a plausible source has not been identified. Again, our station advises everyone listening to stay in their homes and lock any and all ways in.”

Reaching the front door of their home, Chloe readies to head out; her hand on the knob right when she hears her mom grab her attention with: “Where are you going, honey?” “I’m...I’m going over to Serena’s for a bit. I promised to help her out with her potions.” “Alright, sweetie. Are you going to be okay?” “I’ll be fine mom. I just need to go.” the red head states before making her exit. As she watches her only daughter close their door behind her, the mother can’t help but let out a worrying groan; knowing full well that Chloe is not as fine as she claims to be.

Strolling down the lonesome darkened streets of Townsville, the young red head can’t help but rant aloud to herself about on: “Stupid Kingsley and his stupid rewards and his stupid accomplishments. Its not like I don’t have any kind of rewards that I earned over the years, no. It’s always just about Kingsley, isn’t it. Of course everything I do just winds up getting swept out of the spotlight. I win the national spelling bee, he wins the science fair project. I take home the gold in the school athletic olympics, Kingsley gets all the praise for his portable fusion reactor. I get an actual A+ on my science test, my brother gets rewards on teaching the whole damn class on fission experiments! It’s not fair! It’s just not fair!” Despite her self pitying cries ringing through the entire block, not a single soul around is there to hear her plea; her screaming eventually dying down into apathetic silence. “You’re right. It certainly isn’t fair.”

The unexpected voice echoing nearby suddenly makes the young girl jump, Chloe’s gaze swiftly scanning through the immediate streets in attempting to find who has shared their sympathy; alas finding nobody else around. “Just keep it together, Chloe. You’re probably just hearing things. Nothing but your own imagination.” “Oh contraire, my young budding rose; I’m no mere illusion conjured by your young adolescent mind. Nay, you’ve been humbly graced by a being from the very heavens themselves; here to free you from your woes and ease your mind.” Despite shaking in her shoes, the young lady stands still in the midst of this new disembodied voice; questioning on with: “Why are you so worried about me?” “Because, dear Chloe; your brother isn’t the only special one in the family. You boast so much more potential than you realize. So much so that it could surpass your own brothers feats, leaving you the shining star in everyone eyes.” “Really...how?” “All that you need is already is already around your little neck.” The voice in her head revealing such, Chloe pulls out the amazon crystal tucked underneath her dress; its pink glow permeating through the surrounding darkness. “My crystal?” “Indeed. That little trinket you have holds underneath its silky smooth shell the awesome power of the gods, awaiting for you to unleash its raw energy into this world.” “It has that much?...I was only able to fly and make such small things with it.” “It can do far more than just that. That stone can do far more than you can possibly imagine. Such potential around your neck could surpass even gods, much less, your own brother. I can show the kind of woman you could truly be with such power under your control, all you have do is open your heart...to me...” Such a golden promise echoing in her head, the red heads entire body ceases to tremble as she stares upon the glimmering sheen of her amazon crystal; the consuming shadows around her fleeing from its growing pink light.

As the afternoon sun bakes down the rooftop of the blue boys abode, both Tore and Mally stand at their mothers own bedside underneath; their eyes locked to her motionless, sleeping body. The dark purple dressed witch doctor slides her hands across the moms body, gliding her finger towards her eyes to open them; the mothers pupils bleak and soulless. “Hmm...this definitely isn’t good. How long has she been like this?” Serena questions. “Mom’s been in bed for a day and half straight. I thought she was just tired, but she been out cold this morning too. We tried everything to snap her awake; shake her, cold water, smelling salt, nothing worked.” Mally explains. “We thought she might’ve been hurt on the inside or something; but no matter how much I heal her, she just won’t wake up.” Tore adds. “We tried phoning for every hospital in town, but they’re too busy to even tell us to fuck off.” “I doubt any of them would be much help anyway. Her body isn’t the problem here.” the witch doctor informs. “Its her soul, isn’t it?” all of them hear from behind.

All in the room glance to the door to find the purple merc leaning against the doorway, Roy staring to the mothers unconscious body. “Roy! You’re back!” Mally exclaims. “How’d your date with Roxy go?” Tore asks. To his blue brothers question, the merc can’t bare to make direct eye contact with either of them; his gaze drifting to the corner of the room. “Oh...that bad huh?”

Fixing his eyes back to the three, the purple merc continues to asses the situation at hand by claiming that: “Her souls isn’t there, is it?” “That’s right on the mark. Even with her body at its healthiest; without her soul dwelling within her, she’ll never wake up.” “No problem then, we just find her soul and put it back in. Should be easy enough.” Tore simply states. “If only it were. You say a day and a half has passed since her souls been taken. If it doesn’t get back to her with two more, then her physical body shall become malnourished and she’ll eventually… she’ll eventually die.” The witch doctors harrowing warning sends the trio in a frightening scare; all three of them gazing upon the comatose body of their literally soulless mother. “Roy, can you tell where mom’s soul flew off to?” the blue boy questions his purple brother. “I might. A few sweeps around the city might give us the clues we need.” “The hell are we standing here like idiotic asshats here? Let’s get lookin!” Mally declares. “First, we need to contend with a couple of migraines ready to bust through our door.” Roy warns. “What migraines?” Right on questioning such, all of them hear a loud crash echoing out from the living room; the sound of wood breaking filling the house before somebody scream: “Knock knock, fuckers! We in the house!” “Cayenne! Why’d you break the door down!? We could’ve just knocked!” “Those migraines.”

Racing into the living room, everyone discovers both Kingsley and Cayenne standing before them; chunks of the front door scattered beneath their feet. “Hey guys, you couldn’t have come at a better time.” the blue angel greets. “Mind if I kindly ask what kind of drugged enchilada dipping sauce you ate urged you two to reduce our front door into an example of cheap wood craftsman ship?” the merc question. “It was me.” Serena points out. The trio glancing to the witch doctor behind them, they find Serena with her phone out; claiming that: “I told them to meet me here.” “This is perfect. We could really use your help, I-” Before the blue boy could finish asking for their aid, Cayenne pushes Tore aside as she approaches Serena; soon questioning her if: “Chloe said she was crashing at your place last night. You seen her?” “What? I’ve just been sorting through potions in my basement the other night. I didn’t hear her say anything about coming over.” “Did something happen to her?” Mally asks. “She went out during a little party we had last night and hasn’t come back home since.” Kingsley informs. “You try reaching her through her cell?” Tore wonders as he rises, dusting off the splinters stuck to his clothes. “We’ve tried everything. Phone, voicemails, e-mail, social media accounts; nothing comes up. She’s never been off the radar on her social for this long before, my parents are going insane; they launched a full blown police investigation just to find her.” “And you sure she’s just not passed out in a ditch crying somewhere, cause a full night toiling in your own overblown teenage drama bullshit can do that to a kid?” Roy wonders. “It doesn’t matter what happened to her now. All that matters now is that you hustle your asses outta here and help us find her. Got it?” the spice queen demands. “Yeah, not to sound like a veiny throbbing cock here; but fuck that. We got our own problems to deal with.” the merc turns down. “Sorry guys, but Roy is right. We don’t have the time. We gotta save our mom before she withers away.” Mally adds. “Its alright guys. We get it. Hope you guys can save her in time.”

Out the broken down doorway, Tore, Roy, and Mally all glide out towards the west side of the city; leaving behind them their three visitors. As they stroll away from the broken down door frame, the witch doctor turns her attention to the boy genius and asks if: “Now Kingsley, do you happen to have anything on you that your sister might’ve worn before she disappeared.” “Uh, yeah. Gimme a sec...” After confirming such, Kingsley digs through his jean pockets to pull out a lone diamond earring; claiming that: “This is what she was wearing the night before the party. Its one of her favorite earrings.” “Kingsley, why did you bring that with us?” Cayenne wonders. “I figured bringing it to police could help them track her down. Couple of sniffs from their German shepherds noses would’ve gotten them running after her trail in no time.” “I can assure you that my magic is far more efficient then any dogs the police may use.”

Taking the small accessory from the genius, Serena clasps the earring in the soft palms of her hands; a soft pink glow leaking out from the cracks of her fingers. This enchanting glow soon ventures ahead through the suburban air, the trio witnessing the pink trail drifting towards the city ahead; the witch doctor declaring that: “This aura trail should reveal to us the path Chloe had taken in the last 24 hours. Hopefully, she hasn’t strayed into a bad part of town and-” Before Serena could explain any further, she feels herself rising from the concrete pavement; glancing to her side to witness the spice queen sweeping her off her feet. Ascending from the roadway herself, Cayenne grabs hold of the boy genius beside her; tossing both him and the witch doctor on her back as she declares that: “The hell we standing around like a couple of jack offs here for then? Lets getting moving!” All three of them left on the clock, the spice queen whisks both of them away from the calm suburban neighborhood and towards the deep urban jungle of downtown Townsville.

The trio flying past the countless towering skyscrapers, the boy genius is left stuck on his phone; quelling the incoherent blubbering sounding out on the other end with: “Mom...mom...mom…please calm down. I’m sure if the police are too busy to help us, then I’m sure we can handle it ourselves. We already have Chloe’s trail and are following it as we speak...Yeah...Yeah...love you too...Bye.” As Kingsley puts his phone away, the spice queen underneath him grabs his attention with: “Think that might take more time then you think.” “Why?” the boy genius questions as he gazes to the skyline ahead of them. Before the airborne trio, they discover another of the red heads aura trail venturing out in a different direction; Kingsley questioning the witch doctor with them if: “Uh Serena, this wouldn’t happen to be part of your spell, would it?” “It certainly looks that way. Maybe Chloe took a little detour.” “Doesn’t matter what the hell she’s doin; we just gotta pick one. Thinkin that the new trail can get us to her faster?” “I don’t think so. For all we know, it could be a route she took before hand. Lets stay on the one were following just to be on the safe side.” Kingsley claims. “Whatev.” Their course fixed, all of them keep to the aura trail they were following; the trio continuing to glide deeper into the urban jungle.

Following the red heads pink aura eventually has them reach Townsville’s city square; Cayenne stops in the middle of the air right before the square, causing her two passengers to nearly fall. “Ah, Cayenne! What happened? Why’d you stop?” her best friend questions. Once getting their grips back on the spice queens back, both Kingsley and Serena gaze out to the site that caused her to halt in her tracks; their collective jaws going agap. Woven throughout the entire city square like a bright pink spiders web, Chloe’s trail venture in and out its countless twist and turns; rising and falling across both its streets and skyline. “Chloe flew this much in just one night? That-That’s insane. What was she even doing going through here like this?” “The fuck is this clusterfuck? How the hell are we supposed to figure out where she went with this horseshit?” Cayenne barks. “This is quite the troubling predicament! I’m not sure any spells I can do right now can sort through this mess.” Serena admits. “You got any that might?” the boy genius questions. “I could whip up a concoction that would be more than up for the job, though it may take some time for me to brew.” “Just give us a call when its ready.” The boy genius suggesting such, the witch doctor leaps off the spice queens backside; dissipating in a wave of sparkles. After Serena leaves them, both Kingsley and Cayenne continue forth with their search; following one of the many aura trails woven through the city square.

Flying out from around the neighboring corner, Tore, Roy, and Mally continue their own search through the depths of the urban jungle; the purple merc concentrating as they glide across the city skyline. “You getting any kind of read yet, bro?” Mally questions. “Nrr...Still nothing…I’m starting to think whoever took moms soul might’ve dragged it outta town by now.” A frustrated growl escapes from their orange haired sisters teeth; the skater claiming on how: “We don’t have that kinda time! If they really did ditch town, then we’ll never find them like this. We need a lead or something to give us an edge in this investigation.” “More like a whole damn police report.”

While both of his siblings continue flying forth, Tore breaks right in front of the massive TV screen beside them, the screen broadcasting the news network as its reporter states how: “The coma epidemic plaguing the city this past week has exploded last night. Cases of over 6 dozen people left comatose in their homes coming in from every corner of the city.” Before straying too far ahead, Mally glances back to discover their blue brother left staring to the city square television; grabbing her purple brother with: “Roy, hol up. Think Tore might be falling behind.” “Dammit, again? Swear to Hera, if he thinks he sees a crack in the road that looks like a third world country again; I’m gonna smack him into it.” The duo retreat back towards their brother’s side, finding him captivated by the massive monitor perched over the town square; the black winged merc claiming that: “Christ sake, man; we’re on the job. Get yer sorry blue ass in gear and-” “Hang on, Roy. Look.” their sister implores; pointing to the oversized TV itself. As all of them gaze upon the ongoing news report, they hear the reporter herself continue her story with: “Hospitals all over town are crowded with all the countless comatose victims coming in, and the increasing numbers not giving them a single break. Even as the police are unfortunately still at a loss on who might be behind these escalating attacks, the boys in blue vow to not to rest until they catch the culprit responsible. I’m Jessie Blankman, signing off.” After the news broadcast comes to a close, a commercial for pine scented baking soda comes on; Mally talking over the commercial by questioning if: “You think all that might be related to our moms soul getting snatched?” “Could be a good place to get a lead at least.” the blue angel claims. “It ain’t like we got anything else to go off of.” the purple merc reminds them. A destination in mind, the trio rocket away from the jumbo sized monitor and further above the skyline; gliding north away from the city square.

“Yeah, no. You guys ain’t getting in.” Out at the front entrance of the hospital itself, a lone police officer prevents the trio from barging inside; standing against the entrance doors. “What!?” Tore shouts. “Fuck off!” Roy bark. “Why not!?” Mally questions. “Its cause the staff and police in there are way too busy taking care of all the comatose patients coming from all over the city. So unless any of you have sustained any life threatening injuries or know any victims inside for visiting hours, I’m afraid I can’t let you all in.” “As a matter of fact, officer, we do know somebody inside and we oh so desperately want to see them in their hour of need.” the blue angel dramatically feigns. “Oh really, mind giving a last name?” “Of course, dear police woman of the law. Its...uh...” While attempting to conjure from the bowls of his mind a plausible last name, the blue boy gazes around for whatever he could for reference; first catching a passing truck with buttered corn on a kob. “Corn...” The next to enter is field of vision be an open manhole, several worker attempting to redirect traffic as one of them accidently falls in. “hole...a...” He manages to craft the final piece of his faux last name by glancing to a sign on the wayside, finishing with: “Sign...” Turning back to the officer with a smile, the blue angel takes in a deep breath and claims to her that: “You’re not really buying this, are you?” “Obviously not.”

“Even if you don’t believe that bullshit, we actually do have somebody that has medical treatment.” Roy suddenly protest. “And that would be-” Before the police woman could finish questioning the merc, everyone proves shocked to witness the young purple teenager slug himself right in the kidney; the self inflicted punch causing Roy to double over in pain. After coughing out pint of blood from his mouth, the merc looks up to the officer as he moans and wheezes if: “Now you mind letting us in.” The officers shock swiftly deflates before the downed purple merc, the police woman dead face demanding that: “Please leave before I have you all arrested.”

Along the opposite side of the hospital behind the dumpster, Tore has his hand firmly placed along his purple brother’s side; a soft white glow enveloping the part of his waist as he screams: “What a big blue bitch! Practically spilling out my own insides on the hot concrete and she won’t ask if I was alright. Outta have her sorry sexy ass fired for turning down somebody in need like that. Fuck her with a barbed cattle prod.” “Since just busting through the front door is obviously not an option, how else are we supposed to get inside?” Mally ponders. “I don’t get it. Can’t we just sneak inside through the roof?” the blue angel wonders. “And have a ton of people wonder who we are. And why we’re there? Face it. There’s way too many staff on hand right now to sneak inside reliably.” “Not to mentions it would eat too much of our time up.  Unless we happen to have a police uniform on hand, getting through would be next to impossible.” Right in that moment does the sharp sound of a brief siren horn penetrate their ears; all of their eyes drawn to the nearby corner. Peeking beyond the hospitals brick corner, all three of them find the back of a lone cop car parked along the side of the building; housing only a single police officer inside. “Guess we found our uniform. Now we just have to find a way to get it.” Tore claims. “I think I might know how.” Roy claims with a devious grin. “Does it involve beating the crap outta that cop?” Mally questions. “Yees.”

From the comfort of his heated cop car, the lone policeman peels back the paper lid of his steaming cup of noodles; the aroma of vegetables and pork filling the inside of the vehicle. He digs his fork into a bit of the soft noodles dwelling within the cup, pulling them up towards his mouth as the steam escapes from within. Mere seconds before he could savor their flavor, a desperate plead for help penetrates the shell of his cop car; the officer hearing somebody cry out: “Officer, help!” Glancing to the side, the policemen discovers an orange haired girl right outside his window; hearing her further plead on how: “My brothers bleeding out behind the hospital. I can’t carry him by myself.” Hearing this, the upstanding officer swiftly puts his cup of noodles away and rushes out the door; promising the girl that: “Don’t worry. I’ll help you carry your brother inside. Where is he?” “He’s around the corner! Hurry!” Claiming such, the kind officer follows the young girl out beyond the corner of the hospital; rushing out to the other side as he informs how: “Hang on, son. The docs inside will patch you right...uh...” Perplexing the policeman, he finds not a single soul awaiting behind the corner; not even so much as a body to discover. “Hold on, where is you broth-” Just before the officer could finish questioning the girl, he soon feels the brunt of the purple angels knuckles punch him square in the face; the blunt strike proving more than enough to knock the man in blue clean out.

Hog tied and stripe of his uniform, the unconscious officer is tossed right in the dumpster; the blue angel shutting the lid and turning to his siblings to ask if: “So, you think he’s gonna be okay in their while we “Borrow” his clothes.” “Ah don’t worry. I’m sure the dozens of diseased ridden rats and cockroaches’ll keep him plenty busy.” Roy claims as he dusts off their freshly pilfered uniform. The merc then tosses the blue uniform over to his blue brother and demands that he: “Now get dressed, you’re sneakin in.” Catching the uniform in his arms, Tore wonders: “Me? Why can’t either of you do it.” “Reason Mally can’t do it is cause nobody’s gonna reliably believe that a cop would be that damn short.” This passive aggressive comment gets the purple merc a hockey stick to the head, alongside his sister claiming that: “I’m still growing, asshole!” “And the reason you can’t?” Tore persists. “Agh! Cause strolling around as an officer with one arm is just asking to get ya stopped constantly with: “Oh, how did you lose your arm?” or “You must have been some hero willing to sacrifice your limb to save someone else.” Like “Bitch, I ain’t got any of yo time for your curious bullshit! I’m on the fuckin clock! Move yo sexy ass’s aside; I got shit to do.” I’d just be that kinda Saturday night show on repeat the entire god damn time.” “Alright, fine. Just gimme a couple minutes to get dressed and get in there.” Requesting this, the blue angel ascends to the roof of the hospital with the uniform in hand; parts of his clothes fluttering down to his awaiting siblings.

Coming out from the doorway leading to the rooftop, the blue angel enters the polished white halls of the city’s hospital; tucking in his blue hair underneath the signature police cap. Passing by a hallway mirror, the officer impersonator stops to take a good look at himself in uniform; realizing that he pulls off blue like a beast. Still, that ain’t much of a surprise. We’re talking about the guy that combos with a blazer pretty damn well. Wonder if this uniform comes in white. Interrupting his self reflecting be the harsh sound of a child’s cry; the disguised angel’s eyes drifting off to the nearby door. Glancing through the doors window, he discovers a woman and her child at the beside of a comatose patient; the little boy left sobbing in tears from his fathers unconscious body. A saddening site that further drives the blue boys determination, though urges him to look somewhere else to let his siblings inside.

While venturing away from the occupied patients room, the disguised boy in blue hears a sudden voice underneath him filtered by static; Tore glancing to his belt to find the police radio going off and broadcasting another officer that says: “Officer Barbrady, come in. Do you copy?” Despite his initial nervousness, the indigo angel detaches the radio from his pilfered belt and opens communications with: “Uh...Y-yes ma’am. Just stationed at the Northwest hospital; attempting to interview the families visiting the comatose patients.” “Good. Stay stationed there to keep us updated on how many vacancies are left. Lord know’s there are only so many they can take.”

“Right, I’ll keep you updated with all that. B-Barbrady out.” With her fellow officer hanging up, the police woman puts her radio away as she gazes to the site of the break in before her and her crew; a pair of paramedics carrying an unconscious man out of their home via a stretcher from the broken doorway. Passing the pair of medics carrying the poor man away, the officer takes a good look at the door lying on the porch; taking note the untouched hinges along its side. A peculiar site indeed, especially counting no signs of blunt force or evidence of tools; almost as if somebody was inside and slide the hinges right off and put them back on. The question in mind being why exactly somebody would go through this much trouble just for a break in. As the police woman ponders such, she turns her attention to the other officers exiting the home; questioning them if: “You guys find any else to report? Any prints inside yet?” “Aside from the victims prints, we got nothing. You think with a seamless break in like this, they’d at least steal some loose change from the couch cushions; but absolutely nothing was stolen. No money, no tech, no jewels, no valuables; not even a single cent.” Hearing all this, a small growl escapes from between the police woman's teeth; the officer then claiming how: “That’s over the 50th case like that this week. We practically got the entire city’s force spread thin over this epidemic. Worse off, the docs back at the hospitals ain’t reporting anything wrong with them. It’s just not making any sense.”

Watching their investigation from along the roof of the building across the street, both the spice queen and her boy genius bitch witness something that the police fail to see; the site of their red headed sisters trail leading inside the very home they stand in. “And that would be the forth broken in house her trail has lead us towards. You wanna start assuming the worst or should I?” Cayenne questions. “It’s just not making any sense. What’s Chloe doing breaking into random people’s houses like this?” “You mean more than usual?” “Cayenne, I’m being serious here. We haven’t got a clue what she’s doing flying around town like this to people houses owned by people who’ve been rendered comatose; not to mention the site of police wherever we follow the trail not leaving the best impression.” “Kingsley, chill. I’m sure she’ll pop up on our radar sooner or later. Serena’s already workin on something that can trace her out.” “I’m not even sure we have that kinda time.” “The hell else are we supposed to do beside fuck off with dicks in our mouths?” “Hmm...We might have better luck if we go back home and get better equip. A couple of gadgets in the basement might help us out.” Claiming such, the boy genius rides upon the spice queens backside and take off into the city skies; both of them gliding out back towards the direction of the Spicer manor.

Back inside the white halls of the hospital, the boy disguised in lawful blue peeks inside another patient room; finally discovering one with a patient with no visitors. A rather pitiable site seeing this poor man rendered unconscious without so much as a single visitor by his bedside; but nonetheless making his room the perfect point of entry for his siblings to fly right on inside. The lone mans room proving the perfect entry point; Tore checks around to see if the coast is clear; darting his eyes around the halls for any unwanted witnesses. Finding the halls clear of anyone, the boy in blue rushes inside and shuts the door behind him; soon passing by the bedridden patient and right to the window. Looking beyond its glass, the blue angel glances down to find both of his siblings in waiting; unlocking the frame and sliding the window up.

On the ground floor underneath, both Mally and Roy patiently await for their blue brother to give them a way inside; all the while the orange girl persist on asking her purple brother on how: “So you not even gonna tell me how you lost Roxanne so fast? Cause last I heard, you guys were doing alright at the least. What the hell happened between you that night?” “And I keep having to mention that I don’t wanna talk about it. Seriously, can you at least give me the courtesy of a week to let the scars heal before prying right back in?” “I’m just wanting to figure out how it all fell apart. You were so excited to see her when you left and when you got back, you looked so dead inside. Why?” “What part of “I don’t wanna talk about it.” can I not get through your fucking helmeted skull!?” the merc aggressively questions, his tone taking the young girl back a bit. “Al-Alright, fine. You win. We’ll drop it.” “Egh...Sorry about that. It’s just been a little hard on me to get past; especially since it was about her-” Before the merc could continue to explain, both of them hear their blue brother overhead, announcing to them that: “Hey there kids. Wanna break into a hospital? Get yer 99 cent asses in here pronto.” Flying up to the floor their brother stands with the skater at his back, Roy and Mally climb through the open window; soon finding the comatose patient whose room they broke into. “Nice work, bro.” As the merc passes by his police disguise brother, Roy can’t help but correct him on how: “And my sweet ass is definitely worth more then a fuckin dollar, asshole...Its at least a hundred.”

Coming to the slumbering gentlemen’s bedside, the purple angel takes a quick scan through the man’s comatose body; repeatedly poking and slapping the poor guys face. “You think its like how mom was left?” Mally asks. “Yep, this poor bastard is just like how she was. Dead asleep and without a soul to speak of.” After inspecting the slumbering patient, the merc takes a glancing out the door’s window; his senses picking up a good few people inside the neighboring room gathered over what he finds to be an empty bed. Its probably a safe bet that its a family weeping over the condition of their loved ones; it be pretty damn stupid to believe them to be crying over literally nothing; a pattern that the merc can sense all through parts of the entire buildings. “And if the rest of the patients are anything like this guy, then we might have ourselves a good lead.” Turning back towards his two siblings, Roy goes on to explain how: “Whoever is flying around reapin souls outta people in the middle of the night like some vampiric asshole fresh of the cusp off discovering his crazed soul fetish is the same mofo that ganked our moms very own soul.” “Great, have any idea who it might be?” the skater questions. “Eh, not sure. Only really know a handful of people that can casually pluck souls outta people like a picking fermented apples from the orchard of a drunken fruit farmer.” Taking a turn to peek outside himself, the boy in blue witnesses staff roll in another comatose man through the white halls; a family of a woman and two children tailing the mans bed. A small smile forms between his cheeks as he declares that: “We might be able to find out. Time for this uniform to work its magic.”

Inside the room that the slumbering man had been left within, the doctor tending to the patient turns away from the comatose victim; gazing to the wife and claiming to the family how: “We have no idea what kind of ailment is troubling your husband, ma’am. All the tests we’ve done on the other patients like him have come up completely negative. I hate to say this, but I can’t accurately tell how long your husband may be in this coma for.” Hearing this news causes the wife to look to her two children, streams of tears welling in their eyes. “I’ll give all of you some privacy.” the doctor offers as she leaves the room. The door behind them shutting, the daughter of the two children gazes up to their mother and asks: “Mommy, will dad be okay?” “Oh, daddy will be alright. We just need to give him time to sleep.” “How long will it be until he wakes up?” the brother of the two kids question. “I’m...sure that it won’t be long until he gets right back up and gives us all a big hug.” the mom claims with trembling breath.

From giving her two children this false hope, she hears the door behind them open once more; the family glancing to the doorway to witness a lone blue haired officer coming inside to greet them all with: “Afternoon there, ladies and gents. How are ya’ll holdin up?” “Wait, who are you?” the woman questions. “I’m...with the Townsvilles police department, here under investigation on what’s been causing this comatose epidemic sweeping this fair city’s citizen. You think you’d be comfortable answering a couple questions?” “Oh...yeah, of course.” Once wiping away the tears in her eyes, she looks down to her two children and asks them if: “Kids, can you go to the cafeteria to get some snack so mommy can talk to the nice policeman?” “Yeah, mom.” Upon their mothers orders, the two stroll out the patients room; leaving the woman and the faux officer alone with their unconscious father. “I know how hard it must be talking about all this so soon, but-” “It’s fine, really. Maybe talking about this with somebody like you can at least give my family a little piece of mind. To know that someone out there is at least doing something to fix all this.”

Claiming such, the woman pulls a seat from the edge of the room as the false officer does the same; both taking their seats as the blue hair policeman first starts off with: “Obvious question outta the way: What were you and your spouse doing the night he was struck with a coma?” “M-My husband and I were in bed around 3 in the morning. I was feeling parched and my husband happened to have gotten out of bed to go to the bathroom; so I asked him to grab me a glass of water while he was up. While I was trying to drift off back to bed, I hear the sound of a strong wind blowing across my house; followed by the sound of breaking glass. I thought that maybe the windows broke, so I got myself up to find my husband so we could fix it. When I raced into the kitchen to go grab him however, I found him passed out onto the floor with bits of water and glass. As I looked through my kitchen for what might’ve happened, I look over to the door and I find it pried right off its frame with the hinges still screwed on. It still perplexes me how he wound up like this last night.” After retelling the events that transpired the night her husband was struck with a coma, a harrowing sigh escapes from her lips; further claiming on how: “The kids haven’t been taking it well either. I just don’t know what else to tell them. They love their dad so much, he means the world to them.” Despite his eyes drifting away from the woman’s last comment, the faux officer gazes back to the wife and presses further with: “I don’t wanna cause you any further distress then you must be already going through, but did you happen to notice anything peculiar when you checked on your husband? Something leaving the scene perhapes?” “You mean aside from the door being taken off?” “Clearly.” “Well, there was one thing that I caught the minute I found my husband. When I saw him on the ground, I notices something shining just outside my window. I go outside, thinking that somebodies out there; call the police and get a give them a good description. But the moment I get out, the light was already too far in the sky to see who it might be. All I could make out was a bright pink glow.”

From within the dark corridors of the Spicer abode, a bright pink glow reflects off the kitchen tile as it escapes into the black recesses of the manor; the darkened halls swiftly filling with light as the front doors crack open. Behind the wooden door stood both the boy genius and the Spice queen, Cayenne gazing to the shadowy halls ahead and wondering aloud: “The hell are your lights out for?” As both of them stroll further through the darkened halls of the manor, the son of the abode calls out to his parents with: “Mom, Dad. Any of you home? Did the police call yet?” The young boys call falls on deaf ears however, Kingsley’s voice echoing through the shadowy halls of the manor. “Think they might’ve just fucked off?” Cayenne wonders. Pulling out his phone, the boy genius takes a quick glance to his messages, claiming on how: “I didn’t get any texts. Maybe Dad’s in the basement.” As the duo venture further through the darkness of the manor, both of them turn on whatever lights they can; all the while repeatedly calling for both of the boy geniuses parents. “Mom, Dad! Where are you?” “Mr and Mrs. Spicer? You can put the explosives away, its just us.” In hopes of covering more house, the duo split apart, the spice queen heading towards the kitchen while the boy genius heads for the basement. Cayenne finally glides inside the darkened corners of the manors kitchen, gazing into its shadows to attempt and find a light switch; her eyes drawn to a lone hand breaking from the void. Curious of whose hand it is, the spice queen enters further in the kitchen; a horrified glare forming the further she comes in.

Creaking open the basement door, the light from the hallway above leaks into shadows below; the boy genius standing in the doorframe as he stares down into the black void of his underground lab. “Dad...you in here?” Kingsley calls out to his father, his voice ringing down the steps. With his call baiting no response. The boy genius prepares to descend the steps into the darkness below, carefully climbing down each step at a time. He doesn’t even get to a quarter of the way down before his ears catch the call of his friend crying: “K-Kingsley!” Hearing such, the boy genius himself swiftly climbs back up the bright hallway; soon sprinting across the halls as he shouts: “Cayenne, what’s wrong!”

His urgent question yielding no response, Kingsley hurries through the halls of his manor; following the source of the spice queens call towards the kitchen. The young man finally reach his rough and tough friends side, finding Cayenne left completely paralyzed in horror as her gaze is locked to the shadows of the tiled floor. Gazing into the kitchen himself, the young man is meet with a nightmare of his becoming a reality; a deep and primal glare of incredible dread forming across his face. Before the two teenagers lie Kingsleys own mother, struck motionless upon the kitchen tile and rendered completely unconscious. This dreadful site fresh before him, the young man sprints back towards the basement; Cayenne glancing to her departing friend as he retreats from her side. Rushing through the basement door, the boy genius jumps down the darkened steps in a single bound; landing right at the very bottom. “Dad!” he cries out as he flips the light switch. The lights above flood the entire basement with their glow; illuminating the underground lab and revealing yet another site that conjures the young mans horrible nightmares before him. Kingsley’s own father lying motionless across the workbench; the tools at his side falling to the polished marble floor.

Along the back of the hospital, the blue angel tosses his pilfered police uniform inside the very dumpster they left the hog tied officer in; glancing to his purple brother as he review that: “So all the info we managed to cope outta the victims families all say the same damn thing. That somebody shining a bright pink light around is going around and harvesting souls as fast as a farmer on the cusp of a nuclear winter.” “So we just gotta find and beat the shit outta this bitch and we’ll get everyone’s souls back; even our mom’s.” Tore claims. “If only it were that simple. We still don’t got any clue whose behind this soul stealing spree. All we have to go by is that the thief likes bright pink. Not exactly the best lead to go off of.” Mally reminds them. “Actually, I think I might have a hunch of who our culprit might be.” the merc testifies. “Really?” his sister questions. “Who you think it is?” his blue brother wonders. Just before their purple brother could answer them, the trio hear somebody’s phone go off; the orange skater pulling out her mobile device and checking her messages; claiming that: “Got a texts from Kingsley. Saying we need to come to his place ASAP.” “What for? Don’t they know we’re busy?” Roy questions. “He doesn’t say. Must be important enough enough to type in all caps though.” “The hell are we waiting around for. Let’s move!” Tore declares. Just as the trio take off towards the direction of their friends manor, a dump truck turns the hospital corner and pulls up to the dumpster; the truck grabbing hold of the dumpsters side and pouring its contents in the back, the unfortunate tied policeman tumbling right alongside the miscellaneous garbage.

Resting upon the Spicer’s living room couch, both Kingsley’s mother and father lie peacefully next to each other; all the while their son beside them gazes upon them with a mix of wayward panic and fear. “So, both of them were like this when you came in?” Mally asks. “Yep. Completely out when we got here. Tried everything to wake them up. Even smacking Mr.Spicers face around a couple times. Not even a wink.” Cayenne confirms. “I..I just-I...I don’t know how all this could happen so fast… Just last night, everything was going so well. Surround by friends and family after winning the biggest inventors show in town, I was the happiest I could ever be… Now...and now...my family is practically falling apart before my eyes. And I don’t know how to make it all better. I don’t know how to fix any of it!” In the midst of the boy genius’s panicking episode; his best friend grasps the boys backside; urging him to: “Kingsley, relax. I’m sure we can get through this.” “Who-Why would someone do all this!?”

Approaching the comatose couple, the blue angel gazes upon their still, motionless bodies; opening the fathers eye to find his pupil bleak and lifeless. Once taking a look at the two, Tore turns to his purple brother and questions if he: “Think its the same?” “Exactly the same. Like our mom and all those other patients at the hospital, both of their bodies are completely devoid of any trace of a soul left.” Pulling away from the boy genius, Cayenne turns over to the merc himself, questioning the purple bastard if: “Hold the hell on here people. You tellin me you three know what the fucks going on with this comatose bull?” “Sure do. Whoever stole our mom’s and everyone else’s souls just paid both of Kingsley parents a little visit here.” the skater explains. “And we might have a pretty good guess who might be behind it.” the blue angel adds. “Who you think it is?” Hearing Cayenne question them such, the trio gaze upon one another with worry in their eyes; Mally breaking from their stare and warning that: “You guy might not like hearing who we think it is.” “Please...just tell us.” Kingsley pleads as he pulls himself away from his parents bedside. The spice queen can’t help but look to the boy genius with concern, asking him if: “Kingsley, you sure your up for this.” “All I know is that there isn’t enough time for me to be sure. We need to act now if we wanna start fixing all this. Even if it may seem impossible, we need to keep going.” Her friends little speech makes the spice queen crack a small smile, Cayenne turning to the trio and demanding that: “You heard the man. Lay it on us.” When pressed to continue, a small hiss escapes from between the purple mercs teeth; finally claiming to the two of them that: “We...We think that the culprit might be your little sister.”

This shocking speculation reaching their ears, their determination is swiftly cut short in but an instant; their pupils shrinking to the size of peas. “What?...” “That...That’s….That’s fucking horseshit! Don’t fucking joke like that!” the spice queen screams, seemingly on the verge of lashing out at them at any moment. “Were...being serious here, Cayenne. All the friends and family of the patients I’ve talked to at the hospital gave almost the same story; that shortly after finding their loved ones comatose, they saw a bright pink light leaving the scene.” Tore explains. “I can’t make any sense of this. What would drive her to suddenly go around and take peoples souls, especially from our own parents?” “You two notice anything off about her before she went MIA?” the merc questions. “Well, mom did say Chloe was acting strange before she left, like she was trying to hide the fact that she was upset about something. She didn’t say anything that night cause of the party and thought she needed some time to herself. God, why didn’t I notice anything? I was so busy celebrating with my friends and family that I didn’t even realize she wasn’t with us! What kind of big brother am I!?” the boy genius self deprecates, tears welling in his eyes. In the midst of the boy genius’s potential breakdown, Cayenne grasp his side and urges him to: “Kingsley, relax. I’m sure we’ll find her. There’s still time to salvage all this.” “She’s right Kingsley, we don’t got time to break down and cry here. All of us need to work together if we wanna sort all this out.” Tore explains.

“Mind if I cut in this little moment to remind everyone that we still don’t got a way to tell where our little cherry coke culprit is at and we basically still have next to nothing to go off of?” Roy interupts. “Aren’t you the one with the senses and social decency of a dirty bloodhound? Why can’t you just sniff them out yourself?” the spice queen rudely counters. “That usually be the case, especially with how much power that little necklace of hers is carrying. And yet despite that, I can’t feel a thing. Can really only think of two reasons why; either she got the hell outta dodge and fucked off outta town.” “Or?” Tore wonders. “She found some a way to cover her tracks. And judging from the little soul harvest that happened last night, it’s probably more of the latter than the former.” “So what does all that mean?” the boy genius questioning. “He’s full of shit is what it means.” Cayenne rudely claims. “Still, even with all the people she’s been reaping, I doubt she can carry them all on her at once; especially given the rapid rate she’s collecting them.” the merc continues. “You think Chloe might be stockpiling them somewhere?” Tore wonders. “If that’s true, then how come you can’t find where they’re all that?” Mally adds. “Could be cloaking them all the same way she’s cloaking herself. Don’t know how though.”

“Alright, I had just enough of this bag of prepackage zebrashit. What the hell makes all of you so sure that Chloe doing all this instead of being in the hands of child trafficking psychopath?” “Oh, I’m sorry. You happen to know anybody else that can glow a bright shade of neon pink...No? Well then, may I courteously invite your spicy mouth to taste the jalapeno chili sliding out of my rectum?” “How bout I make you taste something else, you purple prick!?” Before the spice queen could throw a single punch to the merc’s smug ass face, the blue angel gets between the two of them; Tore confessing to the spice queen that: “Look, we don’t know if its Chloe for sure. But given the increase in coma cases since last night, it just something we should keep in mind.” “Imma about serve both of ya’ll a fresh hot can of whoop ass stew if you don’t shut yer damn mouths.” Its then that the entire confrontation is put to a sudden stop when all three of them hear the orange skater go off on them; screaming to them that: “All of you just shut up! We’re all on the clock here and we can’t waist the minutes giving each other piles of crap. If any of you wanna help us get everyone’s souls back and save potential hundreds of live, then can all of you kindly stop flinging yer shit like a bunch of fuckin monkeys!” Hearing such a booming outburst come from the orange skater causes everyone to grow completely silent; the spice queen can’t help but give her a little applause.

To his guest’s loud outburst, the boy genius takes a glance back to both of his comatose parents lying upon the felt of their couch; affirming to all of them that: “She’s right.” Kingsley gazes back to the rest of them with a determined glare, continuing to back Mally’s statement with: “If were actually gonna get anywhere in this mess, we need to stop fighting with each other and combine both of our investigations into one. We won’t rest until we find Chloe and who’s been taking everyone’s soul.” “Guess we know who’s callin the shots here. What you think we should do?” the blue angel wonders. “First thing we should do is try and gather more info on all this. A clue or two to point us in the right direction.” “Didn’t you say something earlier about the police investigating Chloe’s disappearance?” the skater reminds. “The boys in blue are workin on it, but I doubt they’d be much help. And I doubt they’ll be so ready to hand over their confidentials to a bunch of random ass kids.” Cayenne confirms. “Not unless you pull in a couple of favors from the inside.” the purple merc corrects. “From a merc job of yours?” Tore guesses. “Somethin like that. Caught wind of a little scandle involving Townsville’s boys in blue a couple weeks back. They might help us if they don’t want their shit to get leaked. The kinda shit that makes people wanna punch you in the throat and beat the juicy red organs outta you while gasping for air. Calling in a couple of those kinds of favors should get us hooked up with all the info we need on both cases.” “Sorry but, are we really gonna go so far as to blackmail the police to get what we want?” the boy genius questions. “Yes.” the spice queen bluntly states. “I-...Tsk, alright then. Guess I’ll stay here and read what I can from it all. It might be best for the rest of you guys to go around and ask our friends for anything they might’ve saw.” “Sounds like a plan.” Mally claims. “Gotcha, Captain.” Tore salutes. “Right behind ya.” Cayenne states. “Hopefully we can muster enough clues out’ve it all to fix this whole mess before it all comes tumbling down on us.”

Throughout the entire police station, the few officers within scramble through the insides in efforts to manage the oncoming calls and reports; the sound of footsteps and voices ringing inside the entirety of the station as they man the phone lines and carry in new documents. Taking the brunt of all this stress be the very captain of the force himself, glued to his private desk as he looks over the constant cases coming in; taking a couple of ibuprofen pills with his coffee in between his hefty breath. Come on, Captain Blanks; get a hold of yourself. Everyone in the city is hauling in coma reports and counting on you to get to the cause of this epidemic. Hopefully, we can find whose behind all this; for the sake of the city’s sanity...and ours.

In the midst of his constant work on the tablet, the intercom beside him sounds off; somebody on the other end informing the chief that: “Captain Blanks. There’s a private call directed to your office that’s attempting to get through. He says he’s a friend of yours.” “Are you kidding me, Jackson? Do we look like we got time for any kind of prank these teenagers have up their asses? Turn them down!” “Uh, the caller’s saying he want to talk to you about something called, uh...The Strawberry Jamboree of Mildreds farm.” Hearing this bizarrely specific phrase is all it takes to instantly send a freezing chill up the captains spine; the man left standing stiffly silent as the tablet in his hands drops to the floor. “Uh...Sir…Are you still there?” the receptionist questions. “Put him through.” “What?” “Now Jackson, and close the other lines!.” “Y-Yes captain!”

Once the captains receptionist hangs up, the cap’s own trembling hands grasps the neck of the private phone beside him; putting the phone up to his ear and hearing the caller greet the captain with: “Hi, Blanky babyyyy!” “What the fuck are you doing calling me at a time like this, Roy? You realize how busy we all are?” “Chillaz, big guy. I’m just calling in to cash in a little favor we settled on, that’s all.” “I seriously don’t have a single second to spare for you to fling your bullshit at me. The entire police force is up to their necks in constant comatose cases coming in from all over the city and we’re spread out thinly enough as is. I sure as hell don’t need another headache on me to worry about right now.” “Well ain’t that just a big coinkydinky for us all, ain’t it. A couple of my pallies and I are busy looking in the same exact thing; comatose people and all. You know we all have loved ones going through this shit, so you can probably understand. Which is why I’ll be needing to cash in that favor we agreed on a couple weeks ago on the farm; preferably in the form of whatever documents and evidence you guys managed to gather on the whole case. Sound cool?” “Are you being real with me? You’re just expecting me to drop everything we’re working on to sneak out confidential reports and documents with our ongoing case just to hand it all over to some random asshole on the phone? You know what that’ll make me look like?” “Can’t make you look any worse if the news outlets hear about all your little “guests” you took over at the strawberry farm.” “How the hell do you think I can haul out countless documents and reports from a hot ongoing case without getting my blue ass caught?” “I don’t fuckin know. Just copy a bunch and send it my way; it ain’t my problem. But it will be your’s if the entire state catches on with what kind of fertilizer their grocery bought strawberries are grown with.” “Nrrgh! Fine, just gimme a little time to work, kay.” “Thanks, blanky babyyy! Tell yer girl I said hi!” Their little negotiations ending with the purple merc giving a little smooch, the captain hears the line disconnect; the line ringing in his ears as a cold shutter runs down his spine. The captain slams the phone back on his desk as he waltzes out behind his desk; opening his door to face the sectritary on the other side and demanding: “Jackson, grab all the documented files we have on the comatose case, pronto.”

Standing to the face of a house stationed along the suburbs, the orange skater roughly knocks upon the front door; hearing from the other side a familiar voice urging her that: “Hang on a second!” After hearing this, Mally witnesses the door fling wide open to reveal the ice dragon herself; a slightly offput glare forming upon the skaters face when finding her snacking on a lone strawberry. “Oh uh, you. Nnn...Maylord, right?” “That-that’s not even a...” After stammering this, a small sigh escapes from the skaters lungs; continuing past the ice benders excuse to guess her name with: “Just look, I’m tryin to get around a little problem I have going on here. You happen to have heard anything from Chloe in the last 24 hours or so.” “Mind I ask why you wanna stalk her that badly? You that thirsty for cherry red coke?” The icy manipulators accusing questions causes the skater face to glow beat red; defensively flustering aloud that: “No-I-wh-Ju-It’s-it’s just for business reasons, okay!?” “Yuh huh. Sure.” Opal sarcastically agrees as she readies to shut her front door. Before the ice bender could slam the door shut, the orange skater jams her foot in the door frame; admitting to Opal that: “Fine. It’s cause Chloe went missing! She didn’t come home last night and Kingsley and the others are trying to find her.”

The ice bender hearing her sudden visitor claim such, she opens her door for the skater once more; letting out a little sigh before answering her with: “Alright. I might have seen something up with her.” “Like what?” “Well, I was walking back home from the mall last night after getting a pair of cute shoes for only half off last night; figured since I had most of my winter gear on, I might as well take a little stroll along the scenic route cause I haven’t had a good walk in forever.” “Is this gonna take long?” “I’m getting to it. Anyway, I take a little stop over to this small part of downtown; the place with the cute little ramen shop that do the chocolate fortune cookie. I figured why not grab something to eat since I mom wouldn’t be home until ten.” “So where does Chloe come in?” “Patients dammit. Before I could go right in, I look over and see her right across the street all by herself. I figured that she might just been lost or going home so I thought why not grab a bite with her; it’ll give us some time to catch up. As I was walking towards her however, I notices that she was talking to herself; all while holding out that little pink gem of hers from around her neck. And as soon as I found her, the red head just flew off without so much as another word. I’ll be honest, it kinda creeped me out a bit.” “You happen to catch which way she was going?” “If I remember correctly, I saw her heading out towards the east side of town. Don’t really know why’d she want to go there really. I hear its kind of a mess over there.” “Alright, thanks a bunch Opal.” the orange skater claims. Having finished questioning the ice bender, she starts to take her leave from Opal’s home; but not before glancing back to point at her strawberry and warn her that: “By the way, don’t eat those strawberries; they’re made out of dead people.” The sudden warning causes the ice girl to cough up whatever pieces of strawberry she has in her mouth; the pieces falling to her front step as she panics with: “Pffth, ah, cak! What!?”

In front of another home far deeper in the bowls of the city, the spice queen herself gives the door a less than gentle knock; a little green eyed girl cracking its wood open as she gazes to her bigger cousin. “La prima? I didn’t expect you to pay us a visit. Usually its the other way around when our papa needs a babysitter. May I invite you in.” “Hate to rush ya, Bianca; but I don’t got a lotta time on my hands. You all happen to know what’s going down to coma epidemic around here?” “I don’t know about-” “Yo Cayenne, I got somethin! Get yo ass in here!” they hear echoing from inside. “Ty, me hermano! What did I say about shouting in the house!?” A nervous giggle escaping the young girl, she glances back to her older cousin and offers how: “May I offer you some pizza while your here. It came just this momento.”

As Bianca invites the spice queen inside, Cayenne’s eyes venture upwards as she walks into the living room; an impressed whistle leaving her lips. “Holy shit, Ty. I figured you were all over this shit, but god damn.” Standing before the spice queen be an entire wall covered in, documents, notes, records, statements, and plenty and plenty of photo’s; all weaved in a web of countless strings. “Hell yeah, bitches! I’ve been lookin all this from top to bottom like some cracker browsin the wine section at Wal-Mart. I got me some juicy conspiracies here on how all this a ploy by the government for testing some kind of new military weapon on their hands like a bunch of damn guinea pigs.” “Yeah, that’s great Ty, but-” “In fact, the only reason they though of settin it off here is cause they wantin to see how many homies get hit with it. They seein if they can get anyone with super power to fall fo it too, hoping to snuff us out if we catch on to them.” “Ty, I need you to-” “But I’ve been on to those motherfucka’s since this shit started. Right behind them trackin every move they do, takin pic, doc, notes, whateva I got my hands on.” Once realizing she could get her little cousin to stop his indulgent theory ranting anytime soon, the spice queen takes a seat right on their cousins couch; a frustrated sigh leaving her lips as she sits down. Her littler cousin, Lequan soon comes in the living room with a whole box full of steaming pizza and takes a slice as he sits next to his older cousin; the spice queen soon taking a slice of her own as she waits how the storm of verbal diarrhea gushing from Ty’s mouth. Might as well, it ain’t like he’s gonna be stopping anytime soon.

A massive stack of countless files slams itself down upon a wooden desk; the impact of which makes the entire table tremble to its legs. The boy genius is left utterly bewildered by how tall the collection of police reports and documents that the purple merc had promised. “Uhn...not to sound ungrateful for this frightening amount of information to work with here, but mind if I ask which strings you had to pull to get all this?” “Mind if I ask you if your sexy twink ass really wants to know what dark secrets bellow underneath your city’s police forces that they’d kill to keep outta the public eye, or do ya wanna close those cute little blowjob lips of yours and get started on going through all these reports and documents that your precious purple pal got for ya?” It takes the boy genius a good few seconds to think of a response to the merc’s lewd question; constantly opening and closing his mouth until he finally requests that: “Heya, how bout you take the time to search through the city with the others a couple times. I’m betting they could use someone like you to help out.” “Alright, I get it. But just so you know, I’ll be waiting.” the merc claims as he leaves the boy genius with the huge stack of reports. As soon he hears the sound of his front door shutting, Kingsley lets out a spine curdling shutter; quaking in his shoes as he wonders aloud: “It must be a real story on how Mally wound up getting a guy like that as her brother.”

Facing another house nesting in the suburbs, the blue angel frantically beats the face of the homes front door; Tore watching as a small orange haired demon cracks the door open with a less than patient glare. “Heyo Alex! How ya doing, ya little demon? I was wanting to ask you if-” Before even hearing whatever nonsense the blue angel has to spew out from his mouth, the little demon slams the front door right in his visitors face, walking back toward his living room as an annoyed growl leaves his lungs. Seriously, there’s only so much irritating bullshit that a demon can handle at once; and that big pile of it just outside is something no demon should have to deal with. Better off digging through actual manure than delving into whatever kind of migraine inducing nonsense that blue idiot wants subjugate all of us through.

Before Alex could put that potential headache behind him, the sound of breaking glass soon reaches his ears; turning back to find the blue nuisance delving straight through the window. Witnessing his indigo intruder arise from the carpet in a mess of glass shards and blood, the orange haired demon backs away against the wall as the blue angel lumbers over; hearing the bloody blue dumbass ask: “Think I could I could ask ya a couple questions, buddy?” With his blue intruder slowly approaching, Alex forms a sharp blade from his trembling arm and warns him to: “St-stay back, you dimwitted oaf! I’m sharply armed.” “Oh, guessin your two busy to help Kingsley out, huh?” As soon as the demons ears catch the sound of the boy genius’s name, Alex’s frightened demeanor takes a complete one eighty; a sharp gasp escaping his mouth as his blade arm returns to normal. “My Kingsley needs me?” “Um...well, he’s trying to find-” Before the angel could finish explaining, he feels his demonic host grasp the collar of his glass coated blazer; exclaiming that: “What in burning depths of Satans own boiling bathhouse are we standing around like some brain dead urchins here for? If my Kingsley needs me, then there’s no time for us to gawk around! To the manor we go forth!” Declaring such, the little demon races out his front door faster than the angel’s eye could catch up; Tore watching as Alex takes off towards the setting sun in the horizon. Glancing back inside, the blue boy discovers the demons own mother sitting in the living room; staring upon the angel that crashed through her window. “Hi, Ms Utonium. Nice to see your son eager to help! Bye!” Once giving his short greeting, Tore charges towards the neighboring window leaps right through its fragile glass; crashing through as he yells out: “Yeet!” After witnessing the young man casually break through both of her front windows, all that Alex’s mother could muster was a frustrated sigh; pinching her forehead as her gaze drops to her glass shard covered carpet.

Back within the Spicer abode itself, Kingsley continues studying through the dozens upon dozens of police reports and document scattered across his desk space; the constant noise of paper sounding through the house as he scans through the files. The boy genius suddenly stops filing through the reports when inspecting two of them at once; noticing an odd and sudden change in the case reports. This doesn’t make any sense. According to the documents filed before the other night, the reports that came in had the witnesses describe something else leaving the scene; something leaving behind a rainbow like trail while fleeing. Why the change in color? Maybe to throw people off? The suspect might be changing, but something in most of the reports have been consistent all the way through. The vast number of comatose victims that have been coming up from all this have been primarily men, very rarely do any woman seem to have been effected. A rather specifically bizarre demographic to target; could be something to keep in mind when sussing out a suspect. Something else to note is which direction the culprit escapes towards; most of the witness reports claiming that they see them escaping out towards the east. Roy did say something about how they might be stockpiling them somewhere; a likely place they’d store them all in the east side of town. Even if given little clues on whose going around and reaping out people souls, there could still be a way to figure out where the culprit might be keeping them all. With all this, at least we all can wake everyone from their coma’s; hopefully we can do it in time before those not on life support don’t… This thought dwelling in his head, Kingsley takes a glance back towards the living room; both of his comatose parents lying peacefully on the couch next to eachother. No...It won’t come to that. We will wake everyone before they die. Even if it takes every ounce of effort that all of us can spare. This motivation ringing in his head, the boy genius turns back to his report littered desk and pulls out his laptop; bringing up an entire detailed map of Townsville right on screen.

The twilight lit sun shining at his side, the purple merc glides across the sunset kissed skyline; all the while pondering aloud on how: “It just don’t add up here. How can this soul reaping shit stain even hide from my senses. Hadn’t had much trouble tracking people down before. Think you can quit with the “thou must not interfere with the holy plan” bull of an excuse and actually help us out for once, Hera?” “I’ve told you countless time that there are rules that a goddess like myself must abide by. Though that doesn’t mean I can’t relay helpful advice to my messenger.” “And?” “As embarrassing it is for me to admit, I’ve had just as much luck as you have attempting to find this soul snatching suspect...or Chloe for that matter.” “You too, huh? Think they might be some kind of undead robbing people of their lives and eating them like screaming chunky beef stew.” “Believe me when I say that I’d notice somebody like that roaming around. Raising the dead is practically a steep taboo. Shouldn’t be much of a surprise to say how it doesn’t work out as well as people wish. No, I’d wager it be somebody whose capable of high level concealment magic. How else could they hide themselves from us?” The goddess in his head claiming all this, the merc’s gaze drifts towards the streets below; a discomforting groan escaping from his line. “A bit nervous, are we?” Hera wonders. “It’s just the small bits that are getting to me. The fact that I can’t tell where the culprit or the victims are, the sudden and unexplained abductions, the mentions of powerful magic; all if its just screaming to me in loud and weird profanity on how all of this feels eerily familiar.” “You think you have an idea on who might be behind all of this?” These familiar patterns ringing in his head, it quickly dawns on him who exactly fits the bill for it all; Roy’s purple eyes suddenly shrinking as a chill runs down his spine. “Roy?” Before the goddess in his head could speak any further, the purple merc turns a complete one eighty and rockets straight back towards the manor he flew from.

Slumped on the couch at her cousins place, Cayenne is about on her last straw having with Ty’s constantly spewing conspiracy bullshit; hearing the young boy continue on and on with: “That’s why they hopin to use these weapon to take over the African government to line their pockets, the crackers up top tryin to cut my brotha’s from right underneath them.” “Come on...” the spice queen utters. “And once they done with my homies, they gonna go for the Chinese next. Hoping to get their hands on the market and squeeze out as much as they can from their hoods.” “I really don’t give a shi-” “The last part of their plan involves finally makin this whole thing public and reveal what they been doin the whole time. Scarin everyone to do as they say and finally take over the-” “Ty!” His cousins sudden outburst finally gets him to stop rambling on, at last giving the spice queen the time to say that: “I ain’t here to listen to your constant conspiracy ranting. I’m being serious when I say I need actual tangible evidence on this case. Not one of your overblown theories; practical facts.” “Oh ho, you say my conspiracy game is bullshit; but I manage to snag me a couple a good pics. Including one with the bitch behind all this. Saw her sorry ass leavin a scene of the crime just last night.” “Wait, “Her”? Ty, what did you see?”

“Right so check it. I was going around town under one of my investigations into this shit. Trackin the patterns of which homes she was hittin.” “You mean you just stumbled on it?” “While going through one of the neighborhoods, caught myself a little pink light landin nearby, went to check it out. Wind up flying to the next street over and found the glowing girl leaving just as fast from one of the homes. As the pink bitch was flyin off, I pull out my phone and got me a pic of her.”

Gazing upon her cousins phone, Cayenne finds on the screen a sort of blurry photo of a shadowy figure surrounded in glowing pink trail through the night sky. “This it?” she wonders. “I...Well...Th-the hell did you expect in the midst of the action. This line of work ain’t about quality. Lucky I wound up getting what I did before the bitch flew off. Took off faster than a damn Lamborgini going down the hood at night, just racin to get outta there.” Inspecting the photo closely, Cayenne is able to make out some specifics of the runaway culprit; looking around to be a young teenage girl with long hair reaching her mid waist. Though she can’t make out much else from the womans figure underneath the shadows; she can tell that the source of the bright pink glow seems to be emanating from around her neck. These details fail to paint a hopeful picture for the spice queen, the voices of the merc and his two siblings claiming who the culprit may be ringing in her head. “Ty. Could you make out anything else? Like something about her hair?” Cayenne seriously question. “Well, seein as I got your attention. I was think that we could figure out what those CIA bitches be up to-” Interupting her cousins words, Cayenne grabs hold of Ty shoulders and brings him face to face; firmly questioning him: “What color was the hair, Tyquell?” “Damn girl, chill! It was red, kay. The hell’s the big deal for?” Having confirmed a wavering fear in head, Cayenne puts her cousin down and almost immediately sprints for the door; breaking down the door just as Bianca heads inside. “Aw, prima Cayenne leaving already. I was just finished making churro’s for us.”

As the spice queen speeds through the sunset kissed skies, she pulls out her phone and quickly attempts to call her best friend; hearing the dial go off on the other end. “Come on. Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up.” Unfortunately for her, Kingsley fails to answer; his phone going straight to voicemail. “God dammit, Kingsley! Why won’t you answer!? This is something you need to hear.”

Dwelling within the dimly lit recesses of the Spicer abode, the young boy genius’s phone is left on silent as he peruses through the dozens of documents littering his desk. On the screen of his laptop lay the map of Townsville, with several lines and points decorating the east side of the city. “It has to be somewhere around there. The reports all mention what direction the suspect is going, all them pointing towards a general direction. But where are they putting the souls, they have to hold them somewhere big enough to fit all of them; somewhere nobody would bat an eye to...Wait...” Its in pondering such that he glances to the papers once more, taking another look at the report to read on the exact directions the witnesses claimed the suspect was heading. It all then dawns on him; rapidly sliding over to his laptop and gliding the mouse to the east part of the map as he claims that: “I know where they are.”

Just before he could circle the location he has in mind, the side of his bedroom wall suddenly busts inward; enveloping the entire room in a thick cloud of wall dust. As he coughs up the puffs of dust, the boy genius races out towards the direction of his door; reaching his arm out to its handle as he sprint. Just inches from the doorknob, a wayward pink beam blasts off the handle; keeping Kingsley from escaping. With nowhere to run, the boy genius gazes towards the light permeating from the dissipating clouds; witnessing a single floating figure slowly glide in. “No...No…Why?” Kingsley utters as he backs against the face of his shut door, the approaching figures bright pink light blanketing his own. Above the brightly lit stone hanging around the intruders neck formed a sinister grin; her red lock flowing along the sides of the young girls pink dress.

[ofthemuses]

True Detective Sentence Meme: Season One (another of my favorites, well, the first season at least.)

WARNING: Triggering content, NSFW content, religion/death/violence/sex/drugs/suicide mentioned. Lots of foul language 

Regular Quotes

I'd consider myself a realist, alright? But in philosophical terms I'm what's called a pessimist...

Oh, just a regular type dude... with a big ass dick.

People out here, it's like they don't even know the outside world exists. Might as well be living on the fucking Moon.

It's all one ghetto man.

Stop saying shit like that. It's unprofessional.

So what's the point of getting out of bed in the morning?

I tell myself I bear witness, but the real answer is that it's obviously my programming. And I lack the constitution for suicide.

Let's make the car a place of silent reflection from now on.

Can I ask you something? You're a Christian, yeah?

I know who I am. And after all these years, there's a victory in that.

Can you get pills pretty easy?

Listen, when you're at my house, I want you to chill the fuck out.

There's nothing I can do about it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but... I'm gonna have a drink.

Given how long its taken for me to reconcile my nature, I can't figure I'd forgo it on your account.

Hmm. That sounds God-fucking-awful.

Isn't that a beautiful way to go out, painlessly as a happy child?

Trouble with dying later is you've already grown up. The damage is done. It's too late.

I can be hard to live with. I don't mean to, but I can be... critical.

Sometimes I think I'm just not good for people, that it's not good for them to be around me. 

Such holy bullshit from you. It's a woman's body, ain't it? A woman's choice.

Girls walk this Earth all the time screwin' for free. Why is it you add business to the mix and boys like you can't stand the thought? I'll tell you. It's cause suddenly you don't own it the way you thought you did.

Is shitting on any moment of decency part of your job description?

Nothing man, sorry, forget it.

You got some self loathing to do this morning, that's fine, but it ain't worth losing your hands over.

What's your deal?

I don't have "a deal".

You're kinda strange, like you might be dangerous.

Of course I'm dangerous. I'm police. I can do terrible things to people with impunity.

Now what do you mean exactly... these visions you mentioned.

Shiiiiit, just what have you two heard about me?

What the hell good is cake if you can't eat it?

You know, throughout history, I bet every old man probably said the same thing. And old men die, and the world keeps spinnin'.

What do you think the average IQ of this group is, huh?

Just observation and deduction. I see a propensity for obesity. Poverty. A yen for fairy tales.

I think it's safe to say nobody here's gonna be splitting the atom.

You see that. Your fucking attitude. 

 Not everybody wants to sit alone in an empty room beating off to murder manuals.

Yeah, well if the common good's gotta make up fairy tales, then it's not good for anybody.

Well, I don't use ten dollar words as much as you, but for a guy who sees no point in existence, you sure fret about it an awful lot.

I mean, can you imagine if people didn't believe, what things they'd get up to?

Exact same thing they do now. Just out in the open.

Bullshit. It'd be a fucking freak show of murder and debauchery and you know it.

If the only thing keeping a person decent is the expectation of divine reward, then brother that person is a piece of shit; and I'd like to get as many of them out in the open as possible.

Well, I guess your judgment is infallible, piece-of-shit-wise.

You figure it's all a scam, huh? All them folks? They just wrong?

People incapable of guilt usually do have a good time.

Do you wonder ever if you're a bad man?

World needs bad men. We keep the other bad men from the door.

But I think I'm all fucked up.

You don't have to fall in love at first sight, you know.

Every time I think you've hit a ceiling, you, you keep raising the bar. You're like the Michael Jordan of being a son of a bitch.

Fuuuck! Hell of a bedside manner you've got.

Ahh, you know, being stupid is different than going in sick, and this is a bar, not a fuckin' bedside.

All the dick swagger you roll, you can't spot crazy pussy?

So, enough with the self-improvement-penance-hand-wringing shit. Let's go to work.

Oh God damn it, I am so done talking to you like a man.

What the fuck you think I want with you, huh?

I'm sorry. What are you suggesting, exactly?

I will skull-fuck you, you bitch!

This is none of my business... I don't want to hear it.

Do you know the good years when you're in them, or do you just wait for them until you get ass cancer?

What always happens between men and women? Reality.

Someone once told me time is a flat circle.

The newspapers are gonna be tough on you.

No, buddy, without me... there is no you.

Yeah. Fuck this. Fuck this world.

You know, people that give me advice, I reckon they're talking to themselves.

A man's game charges a man's price. Take that away from this, if nothing else.

I'm the person least in the need of counseling in this entire fucking state.

Thought maybe we should talk.

If you get the opportunity, you should kill yourself.

Hey, man, look. Why don't you just get out of here, please? I don't want to get arrested. Just - just get... before I do something to you.

I slept with someone... And you know him/her... You're close.

Oh... Now, what-what are you saying?... What - what are you - what the fuck are you saying to me?

Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you get good at.

If you were drowning, I'd throw you a fuckin' barbell.

Why would I ever help you?

Hey. You better get those jumper cables ready, the motherfucker is lying.

Get on out of here, you're classin' the place up.

My family's been here a long, long time.

He ain't gonna talk with you.

I got a car battery and two jumper cables argue different.

A man remembers his debts.

Fuck, I don't like this place... Nothing grows in the right direction.

What happened in my head is not something that gets better.

Well you know what, I just got here; I was gonna leave, but then you woke up - Jesus, what's your fuckin' problem?

Not a care in the world.

I'm not supposed to be here.

Yeah... well, I'll come back by tomorrow, buddy.

Don't ever change, man.

Agh. Ah, fuck. Ah, he got me pretty good...

Do I strike you as a talker or a doer?

You'll rip out your fucking stitches. Stop it.

This is the place.

Everybody's got a choice, ____... Shit, I sure blamed you.

There you go... Everybody's got a choice.

It's hard to find something in a man who rejects people as much as you do, you know that?

Come die with me, little priest.

The DEEP SHIT™

I think human consciousness is a tragic misstep in evolution.

There can be a burden in authority, in vigilance, like a father's burden.

I think the honorable thing for our species to do is to deny our programming. Stop reproducing, walk hand in hand into extinction - one last midnight, brothers and sisters opting out of a raw deal. 

This place is like somebody's memory of a town, and the memory is fading.

I contemplate the moment in the garden; the idea of allowing your own crucifixion.

I don't sleep, I just dream. 

You got kids? I think of the hubris it must take, to yank a sole out of nonexistence into this meat; a force of life into this thresher.

I know who I am. And after all these years, there's a victory in that.

Yeah, back then, the visions, yeah most of the time I was convinced... Shit... I'd lost it. But there were other times... I thought I was mainlining the secret truth of the universe.

I mean, it's like somethin's got your name on it, like a bullet or a nail in the road...

People... so goddamn frail they'd rather put a coin in the wishing well than buy dinner.

This... This is what I'm talking about. This is what I mean when I'm talkin' about time, and death, and futility.

They welcomed it... not at first, but... right there in the last instant. It's an unmistakable relief. See, cause they were afraid, and now they saw for the very first time how easy it was to just... let go.

All your life--you know, all your love, all your hate, all your memories, all your pain--it was all the same thing. It was all the same dream, a dream that you had inside a locked room, a dream about being a person.

And like a lot of dreams, there's a monster at the end of it.

You see, we all got what I call a life trap - a gene deep certainty that things will be different...

Nothing's ever fulfilled, not until the very end. And closure - nothing is ever over.

I have seen the finale of thousands of lives, man. Young, old, each one so sure of their realness. You know that their sensory experience constituted a unique individual with purpose and meaning. So certain that they were more than biological puppet. The truth wills out, and everybody sees. Once the strings are cut, all fall down.

In eternity, where there is no time, nothing can grow. Nothing can become. Nothing changes. So Death created time to grow the things that it would kill.

And you are reborn, but into the same life that you've always been born into. I mean, how many times have we had this conversation? Well, who knows?

When you can't remember your lives, you can't change your lives, and that is the terrible and the secret fate of all life. You're trapped by that nightmare you keep waking up into.

I can see your soul at the edges of your eyes. It's corrosive, like acid. 

Sometimes... this feeling like life has slipped through your fingers... like the future is behind you, like it's always been behind you.

There's a shadow on you, son.

I saw you in my dream. You're in Carcosa now with me... He sees you... You'll do this again... Time is a flat circle.

There's no such thing as forgiveness. People just have short memories.

All my life I wanted to be nearer to God. But the only nearness - silence.

Some people, no matter where they look, they see themselves.

You see, sometimes people... mistake a child as an answer for something, you know, like a way to change their story.

Look, as sentient meat, however illusory our identities are, we craft those identities by making value judgments: everybody judges, all the time. Now, you got a problem with that... You're livin' wrong.

Once there was only dark. If you ask me, the light's winning.

[l1ana]

Imagine you and Spiderman being like Adrien and Bridget from ML

Summary: Incase y'all don't know wtf this prompt is— Basically it's [Name] with a crazy crush on Peter but he's either totally oblivious to it, un-purposefully ignore her, or is focusing on another girl. Meanwhile, he -as both spiderman and peter- completely falls in love with her hero alter ego albeit she shows no interest in Spiderman whatsoever. I got this idea after watching a bit of the Miraculous Ladybug original concept video and just had a sort of breakthrough. Anyways, on with the story.

———

“Hey, Peter...” You scrambled to navigate through the sea of fellow classmen, desperate to catch up to your object of interest. He just wasn't hearing you, and that deeply plummeted your mood. Before you knew it, he was gone— Disappearing into the crowd probably never to be seen again until lunch classes.

Peter Parker, biggest geek in highschool. Always bullied, always harassed in ways you thought were impossible. He seemed like the type to keep his head low and live an honest normal life, but little did anyone have clue on about his contrasting alter ego— Spiderman. As said hero of Queens, Peter could do everything he couldn't do as an average teenager. Who knew red and blue spandex was the key to becoming famous?

You sighed as thoughts of Peter bubbled into your head and revolved without signs of stopping. His nerdish and oh-so dorky quirks were the center of your attention aside from his baby face. Not to admit it, but you were in love with the charmer like a mad puppy. But the thing is— He never took notice of you. Hell, he probably doesn't even know that you exist. The only time you two ever met gazes was during class switches, before school, in the middle of lunch, or after school. Other than that, you were a ghost pretty much.

Today was no different from the rest; besides there being the fact that a pair of tickets were in your left hands hold. They crumpled up when your grip increased tenfold, tears threatening to pour down your eyes. ‘This is so unfair.’ You thought to yourself. ‘Why is it that whenever I try to start something with him... Fate just doesn't allow it?’ Your heart fell heavy into your chest. People would call you callow or petty for thinking what you did, but the thing of the matter is that your crush has been the same since elementary school years and continued from there. There was no doubt in your mind that Peter Parker was the one for you.

But, then again, he doesn't even know who you are.

Thankfully, you had a way to change that.

“Hey, Peter!” This morning, you wasted no time in dashing and shoving anyone who dared to get in your way out of eyesight and tracked the chocolate haired boy to a more secluded part of the hallways. The both of you were panting a bit, tired from all of the post-exercise. “P-Peter... Parker...” You breathed out, hands on your knees. “I am... I'm...” Before you could continue on and let him know who you were, the bell rang. Whoopdy-effing-doo. Oh how you wanted to pummel your bad luck into a pulp. “Sorry, I gotta go... Maybe later?” He cringed a bit, aware of how inconsiderate he was being towards you.

With those words left in his wake on your mind, he hurried off to his next class. It took some moments to pass by until a more than visible red hue formed on your face in a horitonzal fashion. Your pair of hands raised to slap your cheeks and squish them in multiple different ways, meanwhile you wore the most lovesick expression you swore you could make without seeming like you were on drugs.

‘Maybe later, he said..’ You recited his words in your head over and over like a song. Small yelps and cheers of joy escaped your lips as the thought didn't cease to fade away. Step one to getting acknowledged was complete. Now if only you could—

“[Name], there's a robbery down at the city bank.” A robotisized voice rang through your left ear. You sighed heavily. “Uggghh. That's not my problem, Stein. Let the police handle it.” Your hand waved through the air. “It seems to be another one of Electro's heists.” “.... UGGGGHHH.” Getting to the city and back would put your last two periods to waste no doubt and you'd also lose a chance to go out and establish a bond with the apple of your eye. But after hearing that Electro was involved, you found that there was no other choice but to go out and do this. Besides, the cops wouldn't stand a chance against him.

‘I'm sorry Peter, you'll have to talk to me sometime later.’ You silently apologized to your crush in your mind, hoping that he would telepathically get your message. Afterwards, you ran into the nearest bathroom and then was seen jumping out the window into the street, except your attire had changed completely. Instead of being dressed down in the usual ‘[Name] wear’, a skin-tight bodysuit overtook you, a half of a face mask covering your face whilst a horn headband was slapped atop of your shimmering hair.

You hopped and skipped from building to building, the voice in your left earring continuing to speak. “There seems to be several hostages under his clutches. He seems to be anticipating the arrival of somebody... My bet is on you, [Name].” He hypothesized. “Oh put a damn sock in it.” You huffed.

After a few more leaps into the air, you skidded off the edge of a shop building and landed directly in the open circle of crowding people. They had instantly moved out of your way at your arrival, going into a state of indistinctive chattering. “I-It's Queen!” A man exclaimed, noticing you right away as you began to talk to a nearby police officer to get the scoop on what's going on.

Queen— Your alter ego hero self, affiliated with the avengers as a late bloomer type. Your powers consisted of shifting into anything solid along with a side of light generation from your hands. The shifting part of your ability allowed you to increase the speed of your cells, making your body seem as though it were gas, and slipping through solids without a problem. The other part is self-explanatory. To be quite frank, Queen was a alias that your supporting fans had made and you just went along with it, that name eventually sticking to you like glue and becoming your permanent hero name. Funny thing, really, cuz you were the Queen of Queens New York.

“I see,” You nodded at the information the cop divulged with you. “Thank you. Now please, stand back, it may get too hectic alright?” At your words the cop nodded, giving orders to back the people who crowded the front of the bank up. You jumped onto the top of the building, holding your breath and phasing through the roof. It took naught but a few seconds later for you to be landing perfectly on your feet, an all-too familiar laugh echoing from far away. The floors were wet. Oh how you've been through this song and dance one too many times before. “Stein, I need a heat signature scan all around if you don't mind.” You whispered into your earpiece.

“7 of them, each of them with their pulses fulctuating at rapid speeds.” The AI spoke. “He must've already pulled a stunt on them before the police arrived.” The first priority before moving on to Electro was to evacuate the premises of any remaininf victims. And that's exactly what you did. It was hard since most of them were all in different and difficult to reach places of the bank but the number was instantly knocked down to one left.

You scratched your head and thought aloud. “Where's the last one at...?”

“You mean, this body right here?” A menacing cackle interrupted, you turning your direction to whence it came from only to witness Electro standing a few feet away from you, hostage in a chokehold on his left arm. In the other arm was the occasional sack of cash that you were sure he wouldn't get away with. Your eyes rolled, unintentionally getting a glimpse of a familiar spandex wearing hero. He was new and all. Round of applause everyone, for the one and only Spiderman.

When he saw that you were staring directly at him, he waved, then making various hand motions that you somehow in god understood. Basically he was going to shoot a string of web at the hostage and hoist them up, stealing them from Electros grip and giving you chance to take the preemptive and just go wild— But also take caution into not destroying the place.

As Electro went on and on with his planned monologue, Spiderman used the chance for when his eyes were closed to not only shoot some web in his face as a stunning effect, but also managed to snag the hostage in one fell swoop. Two birds with one stone— Neat. “What is this substance on my face!?” Electro screamed, trying to claw it off but to no avail. You laughed at this scene. For some reason, Spiderman had the oddest feeling that he had recognized your voice from somewhere. After the fit of chuckles faded, you made sure to give your target such a hard two-piece, that Spiderman swore he saw some teeth flew out of his mouth.

‘Whoa...’ Was the only thing that crossed his mind. Despite your petite figure, you were strong enough to knock a grown man unconscious with just one slug? “You can take it from here, Spider-guy. I've got better things to do besides turning him in. You can do that on my behalf, right?” You yawned, making your way towards the south exit, away from the mob. “O-of course, miss Queen!” He hopped off the ceiling and landed to the ground, ensuring to web the now knocked out cold ‘threat’ up real good and give the police to bust in finally. Once they did, he trailed right after where he saw you leave, only to catch you flipping and twirling in the air with such haste.

Even behind the mask anyone could see the smile forming as his eyes lit up just from seeing you. Needless to say here, but he was all over you. A complete and utter fanboy who joined the wave after witnessing some viral videos of you committing deeds that he would usually perform.

“H-hey, wait up!” He called after you, tailing the direction you went. “Huh?” Feeling that call be directed to you, your head clocked round to see the same spiderboy from before, flipping onto a pipe in front of you. “Oh, you again.” Your expression deflated a slight bit at his presence. “What is it?” You asked, hoping to get him out of your hair quickly. “Oh, well, I-I, uhm...” He stammered over his words, taking in the beauty of yourself in whole as something to beheld. “Queen, your last period is almost closing. Be sure to wrap this up quickly.” Stein reminded you, causing a shrill screech to release from your parted lips. “CRAAAAPPP!!!!” You instantly turned your back towards Peter and took off without another word, disappearing into the city.

Spiderman just stood there, processing what had just transpired. This was rare. Well, him getting all tounge tied while underneath the mask he called Spiderman. Seemed like your charismatic charms overpowered his. Not like that wasn't to be expected — You were pretty cute if he'd have to agree with your thousands of rowdied fanboys and girls. Jeesh, he felt himself falling head over heels for you instantly.

“I'm here!” You exhaled, busting the door to your last period classroom. There was no reason for you to give a damn about all the eyes laid on you when you performed such an action. After all, “[Name] Stark. Just on time before the bell rings.” You were the daughter of the most famous idol in all of New York, so school imaging meant nothing.

As soon as the bell rang, you were in the hallways being swamped with the rest of your classmates. In the middle of all the traffic, a shoulder bumped into yours. “H-hey, what the hell—” Turns out, it was the absolute love of your life once again— Walking out of your eyesight and never to be seen again until tomorrow morning.

‘Dammit. I still had time and couldn't give him the tickets.’ You mentally pouted with that curse.

———

Idfk if y'all want me to tag y'all in pt.2, but I'm making a part.2 just for your information

[hxbbit]

Feel It Still Pt. III (Logan Delos x Reader)

Words: 3.2k

Warnings: smut, swearing, talks of drug and alcohol abuse

Part I    Part II

It had started with the shaking hands, turned into profuse sweating and eventually the nausea set in. When Logan wasn’t hanging over the toilet throwing up repeatedly, he was on the couch, wrapped in blankets, either shivering or overheating, groaning in pain either way.

It broke your heart to see Logan like that, so visibly suffering. You pressed a cool cloth to his forehead when he was sweating to cool him down and freshen him up a little; bundled him up when he was cold and rubbed his back soothingly when he was vomiting and you tried to get him to drink and eat something in between all of that.

You stayed close to him the entire time, didn’t want him to feel alone or abandoned.

You were on the couch and he had his head in your lap as shivers shook his body once more.

“It’s gonna be all right, you’re gonna get through this,” you mumbled encouragingly as you pulled the blanket up a little further.

“Come on, baby, you can do it,” Logan whispered as he watched you wriggle out of the rope the robbers had bound your wrists with. You couldn’t see what you were doing because your hands were tied behind your back, so your face was set in concentration, but as you felt the rope loosen, a smile graced your lips instead.

“That’s my girl,” Logan praised you as he watched you move your hands to the front and rub your fingers over the bruises the ropes had left there.

You quickly moved towards Logan and he turned so you could reach and undo the rope that was tying his hands together.

As soon as Logan’s hands were free, he cupped your face and pulled you into a heated, filthy kiss.

“Here I was thinking I could tie you up tonight and have my way with you, but I guess that’s useless if you can just get out of them?” Logan asked with a smirk.

“Well, you can certainly try, but I have a feeling that I won’t even wanna get out,” you replied with a grin that matched his.

“Let’s kill some robots first, though, so we can get away from here,” you then added as you got up and Logan did the same.

“If I didn’t know any better then I’d think you were one of them, specifically made for me,” he looked at you with admiration, before kissing you again.

“Oh, darlin’, I’m as real as it gets.”

Logan had fallen asleep on you, and you were glad about that, because he seemed to be in less pain when he wasn’t awake, but this time it seemed different.

He was twitching in his sleep, mumbling words you couldn’t understand. There was only one name you clearly picked up. William.

He had spoken of a William once before when you were in Westworld and again in front of that bar when you met again and if you remembered correctly, then it was his brother-in-law who he was going to take to Westworld after you had been there. You couldn’t imagine what could’ve possibly gone so wrong, though, that messed Logan up this much.

You noticed Logan get more and more agitated in his sleep and a sheer layer of sweat was covering his skin again. He probably had a fever dream.

“Hey, Logan. Wake up,” you said while shaking him a little. It took some time but he finally woke up, eyes wide, body stiff, still looking scared.

“Everything’s all right. I’m here,” you tried to reassure him and you watched him as he relaxed again. Logan reached for your hand, seemingly finding comfort in it.

“Logan, do you wanna talk about what happened?” You carefully asked him, but he only shook his head. And you could understand, he was not in the right condition right now, but you wanted him to know that when he was ready, he could talk to you.

The thing that surprised you the most was, that Logan didn’t beg for a fix, didn’t ask for a relief of his pain. It was like he was punishing himself. Something told you, that he probably thought that he deserved to suffer.

The next day went by pretty much the same way, although it wasn’t quite as bad anymore, Logan actually managed to eat something and keep it down and he was more awake than asleep. He also felt fit enough to take a shower which was a huge step for him, because he was barely able to stand up the day before.

You gave him some fresh clothes after, clothes that you had still laying around from previous boyfriends and never got rid of.

He wasn’t pleased with having to wear your old conquest’s clothes, but he obviously needed something until you had washed and dried his.

“One thing, your exes definitely didn’t have, was taste,” he said as he looked down on himself wearing the grey sweatpants and a blue shirt that was at least one size too big on him. Of course, they were cheap things. You were not rich and your boyfriends hadn’t had a lot of money either, but hearing such a statement from Logan made you so happy, because it sounded like Logan. Like your Logan and it made you smile.

“Suck it up, Delos,” you grinned.

You had turned on the TV and you both sat on the couch once more. Logan was starting to feel a lot better, he even had an appetite again, so you ordered some food for you both.

So while you munched away and watched the movie, sitting in comfortable silence, only occasionally saying something, you started thinking about this William again and what he did to Logan.

You didn’t want to ruin the mood, didn’t want to potentially trigger Logan, but you just had to ask.

“Logan?” You asked and once he looked at you, you turned down the volume of the TV a little and turned towards him.

“What happened in Westworld?” You asked him.

“You don’t remember? To sum it up: we met, we fucked and we killed,” Logan shrugged with a grin, but it wasn’t the real Logan-grin. He knew that this wasn’t what you meant, so you tried again.

“No, I mean after. With William” The moment you spoke the name was when Logan’s face dropped.

“How do you-“ He started but you knew what he was going to say.

“You talked about him the night in front of the bar and you said his name again yesterday, in your sleep,” you told him.

“It doesn’t matter,” he shook his head.

“It does matter! Look at yourself, whatever happened to you there, was traumatic enough to turn you into a junkie, no doubt in an attempt to forget or try to process what happened,” you replied resolutely.

“Stop trying to psychoanalyze me. There’s nothing to talk about, okay?” Logan said with a dangerous tone and a warning in his voice.

You realized that there was no way Logan was going to tell you what happened, at least not yet.

“Okay, fine,” you replied quietly and turned the volume of the movie back up. You put the rest of your food on the coffee table, having lost your appetite.

Before you went to bed, you brought up the idea to Logan, to call in sick tomorrow, to stay with him for another day, but he insisted that he was fine and that you should go to work.

You then at least convinced him to agree to stay at your place a little longer, but he argued that he had to get back to his life sooner or later, but after nagging him a little longer, he finally said yes.

You went to bed together again, listened to Logan’s breathing as he tried to fall asleep. There still seemed to be this rift between you two and you didn’t know how to mend it. If only he would tell you what happened, then maybe you could understand what brought this on. But he left you in the dark.

Logan was such a stubborn man, it was something you loved when you were in Westworld, but it’s also proving to be a challenge now.

Another thing that proved to be a challenge? Having Logan be so close and not being able to touch him, kiss him, fuck him, because of your self-imposed rule. You still thought that that rule was a good idea, but you hadn’t anticipated the onslaught of emotions you felt by having him here.

Every fibre in your body craved to be close to him again, to relive those Westworld memories. And it wasn’t just the physical aspect. Your heart wanted him, too.

You had tried to fight off any and all feelings that had developed in the few weeks you had spent together, after he hadn’t called you. And you mostly succeeded.

You had been angry and heartbroken, because Logan hadn’t kept his promise, but now that you knew what had kept him from calling you… it changed everything.

All of the feelings you had tried to ignore, now made their way back, nesting into your heart.

You moved as far to the edge of the bed as possible, trying to get some much needed distance between you and him.

“What, you can’t even stand to be close to me now?” You heard Logans raspy voice from the other side.

Were you really that obvious and so easy to read? Even in the dark?

“No, it’s just…” You started, but didn’t quite know how to say it.

“I…” You tried again, taking a deep breath, but the words didn’t want to seem to come out.

“You don’t trust yourself around me?” He answered in your stead and you could hear a hint of a tired grin in his voice. You hated how right he was.

“Maybe?” You answered, suddenly feeling a little out of breath. You hated and loved how easily Logan could read you since the very beginning.

Logan let out a small laugh and you could only imagine the shake of his head as he did so.

“Come closer, throwing yourself out of bed won’t help, I can promise you that,” he said and you felt him reach for you.

So you moved closer to him again and you could feel his arm wrap around you and pull your back into his chest. His heat radiating onto you.

“See it as exposure therapy,” he said and you knew that if you were to turn around now, you’d see that typical shit-eating Logan grin on his face that you loved so much and had missed so much.

You needed to adjust your position a little, so you moved slightly, trying not to rub up against Logan. You knew you had failed, though, when you heard a quiet moan fall from his lips, his breath fanning your neck.

In return, Logan’s hand started moving. At first he was only tracing small, barely noticeable, circles with his thumb over your shirt right underneath your breasts, and when you didn’t seem to object to that, he moved further down, while pushing your shirt up slightly at the same time.

As soon as Logans fingers touched your bare skin, it was like it set your whole body on fire. You felt ridiculous, that such a little touch could make you feel this way, but God, did it also feel good.

Logan continued his gentle caresses. They were innocent touches, soft and slow, but they were the catalyst to so many sinful thoughts.

You needed to stop this right now.

“Logan” His name came out as a breathy moan, but it made him perk up, made his motions still.

“Don’t,” saying that one syllable pained you. You wanted it, but you couldn’t. It wasn’t right. Although it felt so very right in that moment.

“Are you sure?” Logan asked, his beard scratched your neck slightly.

It would’ve been so easy to just say yes now, to throw caution to the wind and just indulge. But you weren’t in Westworld anymore.

“We can’t,” you whispered breathlessly.

You felt Logan pull his hand back, move your shirt back down and then just draped his arm over your form again.

“Okay, darlin’” Logan replied quietly, trying to suppress a shaky breath. At least you weren’t the only one that was affected by it.

You were about to finally fall asleep when you felt Logan press a soft kiss behind you ear and a shiver ran down your spine.

Logan was a temptation you didn’t know how much longer you could resist. Especially if he continued doing things like that.

“Don’t stop,” you moaned as you threw your head back into the pillows. Your hands were tied to the headboard and you pulled on them as a jolt of pleasure shot through your body.

Logan had his head buried between your legs, one arm draped over your stomach to keep you from squirming too much and the other moved two fingers rhythmically in and out of you, crooked upwards, while his tongue stimulated your clit.

You wanted to grab Logan’s hair, wanted to push his face closer towards your core, but your restraints didn’t budge.

You could try to get out of the ropes, but where would be the fun in that? And even if you tried, your brain couldn’t possibly concentrate on that right now.

Logan, Logan, Logan. That, and the pleasure he brought you, were the only things in your head right now.

You had already reached your peak twice and by now you were very sensitive, but Logan wanted to coax another orgasm out of you, he was very determined to do so.

His beard was scratching against your delicate skin, adding another sensation, which was almost too much by now. Nevertheless you found yourself grinding your hips against him, trying to get a little more friction, a little more of that silver tongue.

Right when you thought you couldn’t take it anymore, was when the third orgasm finally rushed through your body.

You could feel a tear escape the corner of your eye, everything being too much for your body, but also not too much at all, getting exactly what you needed.

Logan continued, didn’t let off, until even the aftershocks of your orgasm finally subsided. He pulled his fingers out of you and licked them clean, all while holding eye contact. You were breathing heavily, a weak, but satisfied grin on your face.

“Fucking delicious,” he said, rubbing a hand over his chin, your juices having dampened his beard. Then leaned down to kiss you and undo the ropes.

You could taste yourself on him. And as he was kissing you, you rolled him over, so he was on his back now, straddling him.

“Your turn,” you smirked, raising his hands towards the headboard and tightening the ropes around them.

You were still wrapped up with Logan when you woke up the next morning and the idea, to call in sick and just stay in bed with him, sounded better than ever. It’s been a long time since you’ve slept that well. But you had discussed it with Logan, he wanted you to go to work and he also might need some time for himself too, to think about what the next steps would be.

Logan couldn’t hide out in your apartment forever, that much was obvious, and he might have gotten through the worst part now, but that didn’t mean that he’s suddenly healed and sober and fixed forever. You would have to bring up the idea of maybe going to see a therapist or maybe he should go to a narcotics anonymous meeting.

But the thought of Logan leaving your apartment also scared you. What would happen after? You wanted to really try with Logan, but would he want the same? Now that he’s feeling better again? And if you were to try being together, would you both still get along as magically here, in the real world, as you did back in Westworld?

You decided to banish that thought for now and get your butt to work instead. So you tangled yourself out of the mess that was Logan’s arms and legs, trying not to wake him up, and quietly went into the bathroom to get yourself ready for the day.

You were about the leave the apartment when you suddenly remembered that Logan still didn’t have your number. So you quickly scribbled it down on a piece of paper, so he could call or text if he needed anything, and taped it to the bathroom mirror. He would surely see it there.

Then you went about your day, always thinking of Logan, though.

Needless to say, you were excited when you could finally go home again.

You opened your apartment door to find Logan lounging on the couch, watching TV.

“Hey, how was your day?” He got up to greet you with a smile, kissing you on the cheek. Logan seemed much better, but you also suspected that his cheery attitude was a show he put on to convince you that he’s all right.

“Fine, it was fine,” you answered while taking your coat and shoes off.

Logan looked good. He always looked ridiculously good, but you saw him at his worst and he looked better again, healthier. The dark circles under his eyes weren’t as noticeable anymore, there was more color in his face and he had even styled his hair.

You both sat down on the couch and Logan threw an arm around you, pulling you close.

You felt how you let yourself relax in his arms. It felt familiar, comfortable, warm.

“What have you been up to?” You asked him while snuggling a little closer.

“Not much, slept a lot, I really needed it. But I don’t think I’ve ever spent this much time in a girls bed without actually sleeping with her,” he joked with a smile.

“Very funny.” You rolled your eyes at him, but couldn’t suppress a smile yourself.

“There’s an event on Friday,” Logan than said and that got your full attention.

“An event?” You asked with raised brows. “What kind of event?”

“It’s my father’s retirement party,” he elaborated.

“And you actually wanna go there?” Logan hadn’t talked much about his personal life when you were in Westworld, but enough to know that he hated his father.

“I have to, the gossip, if I weren’t there, wouldn’t be good for the company,” he explained.

“I don’t think you going there is a good idea, though,” you said. His father could be a potential trigger.

“That’s why you’re coming, too,” Logan simply shrugged with ease.

“I am?” You asked, the thought of you going to a family/company party with Logan hadn’t even crossed your mind. But Logan only nodded.

“You want to introduce me to your family and friends and business partners as what? Your sober companion?” You questioned. This wasn’t how you thought you’d meet his family.

“No, I’m going to introduce you as my girlfriend.”

Part IV

a/n: thank you so much to the lovely response on the last chapter, you are all so great! 

@missphanosaur18 @dyingformyships @marvelite1998 @badwolfsupernova@thesandbeneathmytoes @unlikelycupcakequeen  @qxeen-of-hearts @teapartydreams @twentyjuanpancakes @bluebird214 @xinyourdreamsx@asongofmarvelanddc @ladyblablabla @lainey-lane@banditthewriter @tiredofthisgeneration @marauderskeeper @mamaraptor@sugardaddyrafee @silknlaces @holamor

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

AgentCorp (cont’d... because I have no self-control)

Alex thought seeing Lena lying lifeless on that altar would be the worst experience of her life. She was wrong.

Sitting helplessly in the infirmary while machines pumped blood through her body and cycled air through her paralyzed lungs was far worse.

Kara promised the life support would sustain her until the drugs wore off, but Alex knew the longer it took, the less likely it was Lena's organs would resume independent function. Kara also spelled Alex, whenever she felt the pull that drew her home to Ruby.

Home was no respite either.

"I want to see her!" Ruby argued for the nth time, three days after Lena's rescue. For the nth time, Alex balked.

It was too traumatic, seeing Lena hooked up to so many machines, looking so fragile in silent repose. Looking as though a shell occupied the hospital bed, not the vivacious woman who'd battled them for the last of the cookie dough ice cream barely a month ago.

"I don't think so, kiddo."

"Why not? I'm not a kid! I don't care what she looks like, I can handle it!"

Lena would hate anyone seeing her that way. Even Alex and Kara, and even for medical necessity. She also worked so hard to appear strong-- this vulnerability was foreign on her.

"The answer is no, Ruby."

Ruby's pleading turned angry, ending unfruitfully with shouts and accusations and one cutting I hate you! before storming into the bedroom-- Alex's bedroom-- and slamming the door between them.

Alex let her go, unable and unwilling to push against this new hurdle. Her soul ached, from the woman in the infirmary to the girl who now hated her. Despite being grown, Alex felt more helpless now than she had as a child, when she'd fallen asleep to the sound of her mother crying after her dad died. Because now the tears were coming from the child she was responsible and she just didn't know what to do. 

Lena would. Lena always had the gift of knowing what a troubled teen needed to hear.

She stayed on the couch where Ruby left her, letting the apartment grow dark around her. She left the lights off, unable to muster the energy to even flip on the nearest lamp.

Finally, near midnight, the bedroom door opened, spilling light into the dark living room.

"Alex?" came the sniffling query. "Are you awake?"

Alex inhaled, bracing herself for round two. "Yeah."

"I'm so sorry I said those things," Ruby said, the words spilling out of her in a rush. "I didn't mean it. I know you're just trying to protect me."

Alex nodded, only to realize Ruby couldn't see her in the dark. "I know, honey. I know things are tough right now, and you don't know what to do with what you're feeling. I don't either. But I'm just trying to do what's best for you." Her voice cracked, and tears came bubbling up. "I promise, that's all I want..."

Ruby appeared at her side, wrapping her arms around her as Alex found herself unable to stop the tears. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"

Alex hugged her tight, nodding wordlessly in acceptance. The tears weren't Ruby's fault. They were already there behind the dam, building and building until Ruby's words punched a hole through the wall.

They sat there, indefinitely, until they both managed to get themselves together, and even then Alex only snuggled Ruby closer.

"I just hate feeling to helpless all the time,” Ruby whispered, breaking the silence. 

"I can’t stop thinking about my mom. I understand why I’m not allowed to visit her, but she’s alone! She’s alone and afraid, and I can’t be there for her. And I guess I thought this was something I could finally do, you know? I can sit with Lena, make sure she’s not alone, but I’m not even allowed to do that!”

Ruby pulled away, wiping her eyes and sniffling. “I just want to help.”

In the dark, Alex's resolve cracked, and then gave way.

When she brought Ruby to the DEO the next day, Kara gave her a meaningful look. Are you sure?

Alex nodded. She was more sure of this than anything else at the moment. She understood helplessness, and she understood the need to be needed. She doubted Ruby was as prepared to see Lena's condition as she thought she was, but Alex trusted that fulfilling her desire to be an active help in even some small way would outweigh the shock of a few machines.

She held Ruby's hand all the way to the infirmary. Ruby didn't falter until the moment they reached the threshold of Lena's medbay. Alex gripped Ruby tighter, and swallowed back the sudden lump in her throat at the sight of Ruby's sudden tears.

"Hey," she said softly. "Remember what I told you, okay? It's only temporary, until the sedative wears off."

Ruby nodded, eyes never leaving Lena. "How long?"

"We don't know. The effects on humans haven't been documented, as far as we know. We just have to wait and see."

Gulping audibly, Ruby took a steadying breath. "But she will wake up, right?"

The million dollar question, and one that Alex didn't have an answer to. "Supergirl's confident that she will."

A hero's word was enough for Ruby. She found her legs again and strode into the room the rest of the way. Alex let her find her own footing, taking time to close the door behind them and heave a quiet sigh of relief.

The peace shattered with a sharp gasp from Ruby. Alex whirled to find the girl frozen at Lena's bedside, eyes glued to the bandages covering the stumps of Lena's severed fingers.

"Her hand!”

Alex surged towards her, and Ruby turned to throw herself into Alex's arms. Ruby's thin control of her emotions splintered, releasing a torrent of tears and thick, shuddering sobs. Alex held her, looking over Ruby's head to offer an apologetic grimace to Lena's unconscious form.

Oops. In light of the three big machines currently keeping Lena alive, her missing fingers had slipped Alex's mind entirely.

"It's okay," she soothed, rubbing circles against Ruby's back. "I'm sorry, I should have warned you."

"What happened?" Ruby wailed. Alex only shook her head. There were still some things Ruby didn't need to know. Luckily for her, Ruby didn't push this time. "Can't you reattach them? We watched a documentary in health class where--"

"The tissue wasn't viable, Rubes." Alex offered her a thin smile. "We didn't get to her in time."

"It's awful," Ruby sniffled against Alex's chest. "Everything is so awful!"

Alex could only hold Ruby close. She didn’t release her until Ruby made the first move to pull away. When she didn't immediately return to Lena's side, Alex ducked to catch her eye.

"Do you want to go back home?" she asked gently. Ruby shook her head. "Lena would understand--"

"No," Ruby affirmed. She wiped her eyes and lifted a stubborn chin. "I'm okay. I wanna stay."

Not for the first time, Alex marveled at Ruby's strength of spirit. She wished she'd been as kind and as brace as Ruby when she was twelve.

"Okay."

Ruby finally turned back towards Lena, and pasted on a shaky smile. She crept towards the bed, tentatively reaching Lena's hand. "Hey, Aunt Lena. It's me. Ruby. Alex said it was okay to come visit you."

Alex stared. All the days she and Kara had spent in this room, neither of them had thought to talk to Lena. Ruby looked at her, and Alex tried to interpret the expression gazing up at her. In the end, she could only offer the one thing that had given Alex some solace in the days spent waiting for some sign of life.

"Would you like me to give you a moment alone?"

Ruby nodded, wiping at her eyes.

"Okay. I'll be right outside.”

She didn't mean to eavesdrop. She didn't. But there was no door, and Alex found herself unable to focus on anything else.

"Everything has gotten so crazy, Aunt Lena," Ruby began softly. "Reign and my mom was bad enough, but now you're hurt too, and-- I wish Mom and I had never come here."

Alex's heart lurched in her chest. So much pain and destruction could have been avoided if Sam has stayed away from National City. So much death prevented. But even so, the idea made her sick to her stomach.

"But if we hadn't," Ruby continued, "then we'd have never reconnected with you. Or met Alex, or Aunt Kara…

"Did you know you were the first friend Mom ever asked me to meet? All of the adults I knew were from my life-- other parents at school, teachers, babysitters. You were the first person she ever wanted me to know from her life, and I think I'm starting to see why. You're so strong, and so smart..."

Alex heard Ruby snicker suddenly under her breath. "And when you wake up, I bet you're going to design the coolest prosthetic ever, with, like, lasers and stuff. And then you're gonna fix my mom, and you're going to be the one to tell her how you let me have ice cream every night. Because I am not getting grounded for that."

Ruby paused then, and Alex could almost feel the somber return of a heavy mood. "You don't have to worry about her right now, though. You just have to focus on getting better.”

There was a rustling as Ruby shifted closer, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to Lena's forehead.

"I love you, Aunt Lena. And you're not alone, okay? I’m right here. You've got me, and Alex. And you're going to be fine, because you may be a Luthor, but you're also an Arias. And Ariases don't give up. Not ever. We'll be here when you wake up, and then we’re going to help you get Mom back. All of us, together.”

Alex leaned her head back, and mouthed the Kryptonian words that hung in the air around them, even before Ruby breathed them into existence.

“El mayarah."

part 1, part 3, part 4, part 5a, part 5b

[jxt4ever-queenofthesouth]

Never Letting Go

**For Mature readers** Sexual content

Events after 3x06 the trio makes it home to Phoenix. 

Pote, James and Teresa pull through the driveway, James checks his watch it was about 1:30am. Maybe he should have taken upon Pote’s offer for the slushy, trying to hold back a yawn.

Teresa was silent the whole drive home after they had to bury Guero, James hated the guy but it was a shame he didn’t get a proper burial. But that’s how things worked in this business and James found that out a long time ago, even his time in Afghanistan soldiers had to be buried with unmarked graves, to make room for more of the living. 

James turns and looks at Teresa whois still just staring out the window. Pote gives James a look the says ‘she shouldn’t be alone tonight’ as he turns off the ignition. James nods his agreement hops out of the car first Pote following suit. 

James walks around the car to the driver's side passenger door and opens it. Teresa’s eyes look cold, lost and full of sorrow. “Teresa here, let me help you out” James says softly as he offers her his hand. 

She takes it barely looking him the eye, brushing past him and walking towards the house. 

James then calls out “Hey we found your car, I’ll grab your bag for you”. She turns and gives a nod of acknowledgement, then continues to walk towards the door. 

Pote locks the car and says “Hey look she’s going to be okay, shes strong which I’m sure you already know that”. Pote takes breath in almost not sure how to continue. 

“Look Teresita may not want to hear this but, she wouldn’t have been able to let him go on her own. She may not see it now but him gone is the best thing for everyone. Teresa wouldn’t have been able to build an empire as her old self, and he would have just brought that back out of her”.

Pote the gives James a pat on the shoulder and heads towards the house.

****

As James makes his way up the house, all the lights were off except the one upstairs. He knows its Teresa, him and Pote barley got any sleep, so he knows Pote is probably sleeping himself, what he should do. 

James finds himself walking towards Teresa’s room anyways. 

He knocks “Teresa are you alright?” He knows she’s not but at least she knows he’s here. 

“Yeah, its okay to come in James” Teresa replies. 

He opens the door, the room lit with just a single lamp on by her bedside table.  James could tell she had been crying not just from the puffiness of her eyes, but from the box of tissues next to her. But she dries her eyes. 

He places her bag on her dresser. James then walks over and sits at the foot of the bed. There is a long pause between them neither of them knowing how to start the conversation. 

James says hands clasped together “I’m sorry about Guero I know you loved him, and he loved you. Any man able to last eight months of torture earns my respect” another long pause “and I understand why because I would do the same”. 

Teresa slides next to the James, and pulls his hands into her lap, and lays her head on his solider. 

James sat there absorbing her warmth, even with the sorrow behind her eyes. He pulls her into a hug arms wrapped around her head and hers around his torso. He could feel her trying to hold back her tears. 

James whispers against her neck “You may not see it now, but you will get past this”. She breaks a little and James rubs her back, and she buries herself deeper into him. 

James the first to pulls away, he wipes the remain tears away from her face, even with smudged mascara she still looked beautiful. 

“I am willing to let you go…” James says still holding her face. 

The light and stubbornness seemed to return to her eyes once more, and she says with conviction “No”. 

“I’ve lost Guero, but when I saw him in the prison, I didn’t feel the same way I felt when we were running to Europe and I was waiting for him at the docks” 

She pulls away and sits on the bed again, wipes her tears and pulls her hair back. 

James still standing unsure of what to say or where this was going.

Teresa looks up at him. “James I don’t feel what I’ve felt Guero in my past life, I’ve grown so much over the past six months that when I see him, all I see in myself is the girl who changed money in Culiacan and the girl who fell in love with a drug dealer. A weak girl”. 

Teresa stands up and runs her hands through her hair again. 

“I don’t - didn’t- want to go back that, but I had to get him out of Camilla’s prison or else that could’ve been me if it wasn’t for his loyalty and bravery those months”. 

James is still looking at her still not fully understanding where this was going. 

Teresa steps to James closing the space between them. Reminding her of the first night they seemed to admit their feeling for one another. She didn’t really know when she started to see James differently maybe it was on the rooftop in Malta, maybe it was on the train car. Maybe it was all those times he saved her and didn’t tell Camilla about the maid. Maybe it was when he gave money and a game boy for Tony. Maybe it was when he jumped through the window and saved her ass over and over again. Teresa knew in her heart, that Guero wouldn’t have done that for her, even with his declarations of love. 

“James, I want you and only you, but the kiss and the sex wasn't just a heat of the moment. I care about you, maybe even can love you”. James closes his eyes almost like he’s trying to fully process this himself. Teresa brings her hands up toward his face, their foreheads pressed against each other.

Hours before, James wrestled with himself about leaving and letting Gureo and Teresa be happy. Now it was like weights have been lifted off of his chest. 

James pulled Teresa by her hips close to him, kissing her deeply. He takes off her jacket and her struggling to get off his. She then takes off his T-shirt sculpting his body in all the right places. Teresa runs her hands along his body really seeing him for the first time. The last time it was full of passion and wanting to close to each other every moment. Now she really wanted to take him in. 

She traced his tattoos, as he began to kiss her neck. James then takes off Teresa’s shirt. Runs his hands along her stomach, taking her in as well. She could feel her entire body responding to his touch.

“Did you wanna take this to bed?” Teresa asks, a smile creeping up on her face 

“Pote is in the room a few doors down you know” James replies lips back on her neck. 

“we’ll just have to be quiet then?” Teresa replies. 

James pulls away for a moment and says “Teresa are you sure, we just buried Guero hours before” 

“I want you James” Teresa says with the conviction back into her eyes, she pulls him back closer to her feeling his muscles alone this back. They make their way to the bed. Teresa on top and straddling him, his hands on her ass. 

In between kisses, Teresa struggles to take off her jeans. James flips her over “let me”. He kisses down her neck, down her throat across her chest, down towards her belly button, her back arching as he gets lower. 

He takes off her jeans with such gentleness she can hardly breathe. He gives her a look, a question if he can proceed, she gives a nod and he removes her panties. James then works his way back up kissing her thigh her hip, her stomach again and then he removes her bra. Teresa hands in his hair 

He begins his way back up to her mouth with a kiss on the curve of her breast. Then her collarbone and back to her mouth. She flips him over “my turn” she kisses his chest and works her way along his ab muscles. Feeling his heat under her touch, she reaches his belt and unbuckles it. She pulls of his jeans and underwear. Admiring the full length of him, he pulls he back close to him and flips her over. 

James looks into Teresa’s eyes full and glistening with the heat and lust between them. He kisses her, her mouth open to his own. Thrusting in and again and again. “James” Teresa sighs Both keeping in mind the quiet they have to keep.  Both, gasping and collapsing beside each other. Teresa resting her head on his chest and sighing tracing circles on his chest along his tattoos. 

“When will I learn more about these?” 

James giving a small smirk “later” 

“Oh come on,  don’t make me wrestle you for it” Teresa propping herself up on her elbow. 

“So you’d think you’d win Teresa?” James is over top of her now hand on her hip. 

“Maybe” Teresa trying to hold in a giggle. 

“Maybe another night, I really need some sleep, its now 2:30am and I think Pote will be wondering why we are not up for breakfast and 8am” James replies 

Kissing her forehead, then lips deeply. He holds her close and they both fall asleep in each other's arms never letting go. 

[kitlcuis]

[ mitch grassi, demiboy, flexible pronouns, 20 ] SEDATED by HOZIER? whenever i hear that song, it reminds me of CHRISTOPHER 'KIT' LOUIS. maybe because they’re ETHEREAL but also ABSTRACTED. they’ve been living at mulberry apartments since SEPTEMBER of 2018 in APARTMENT 203 and have 1 ROOMMATE.

tws – substance use/abuse, toxic relationships, & v brief mention of homophobia

here is darling kit. he’s slightly more of a mess than his sweet little face may give off and i hope you accept a bit of chaos here because… kit does not come quietly! anyways!! also this is a lot longer than i intended so skip to the bottom if you’d like a SUMMARY

hails from one of the northern states on the west coast. he grew up in a strict religious household which felt stifling and limiting from as early as age 4 when he had to wear a bowtie to easter mass when he wanted to wear one of the cute flowery bonnets the girls got to wear

christopher had a very rigid childhood for this reason. his family lived comfortably but it was only perfect on the surface. underneath the glamour of the picturesque family unit there were cracks – splintering shards that would eventually drive a wedge between the louis parents and their only child

kit knew pretty early on that he wasn’t straight – ironically enough, getting the idea from all the anti-gay rhetoric from the church. it gave him the keywords he needed to uncover things like homosexuality and genderfluidity. he also knew to keep it quiet and kept himself securely closeted

figured it was meant to be a secret – kind of like the secret affair his father was having! or the secret gambling problem his mother was so desperate to hide and blamed on faulty record keeping!

basically, the crux of kit’s childhood is that it sucked and he never felt like he got to be a kid. he was smothered.

kit’s first breaking point came at a young age. he had a childhood friend from church who he had gotten super close to. this friend was very whimsical and sweet – flamboyant some would say but hey! they were children!!! kit was very amazed by this friend’s ability to just BE HIMSELF!

his parents, however, were less amazed and especially as the two grew to be preteens and stayed just as close (maybe even sharing an innocent kiss as friends), they got more and more concerned. so concerned, in fact, that eventually, they insisted kit end the friendship. it was devastating, especially since this friend had been teaching kit so much about self expression and confidence and just :’(

but he listened and buried his anger, saving it for only a few short years later when it would all come to a head.

kit had his first “real” romantic kiss at age 14. the boy was older and cooler and kit knew he couldn’t go back into the closet after that. he brought that boy home a few more times, half hoping to get caught just so he wouldn’t have to come out. eventually things fizzled out but kit had had a taste and now he wanted MORE

more boys made their rounds through the louis residence and it wasn’t until kit was doing a little more than kissing that he was finally caught. it was as bad as he’d expected, the shouting match. what he HADN’T expected, though, was the ultimatum. stop this ‘gay business’ or move out. he was only a teen still? couldn’t they even do that, legally?

luckily – or unluckily as it would be – kit had met someone older who had a place of his own in california and he offered to let kit come and stay with him. they’d start dating and kit would even say this was his first love.

it wasn’t some fairytale though – it never was. showing his love for his new beau became sexual extremely fast and would start including doing favors for his friends and coworkers too. kit let it happen because at least he was free of his parents and living with someone who loved him

he put up with three years of increasingly toxic conditions in his relationship with his boyfriend essentially capitalizing on his willingness to please, not knowing that would soon run out.

if you stifle kit too completely, he breaks and that’s what happened.

one day, he snapped, he took his things and left. he was completely homeless and streetbound but he was living life according to his own choices for once and it came with a kind of thrill that kept kit motivated!

he turned to sex work of his own volition, finding it as a stable way of making money, despite the dangers involved. it was all he felt he was qualified for and he was good at it. without need of any authority over him, he made decent money at it and started skulking around seedy bars in the outer LA area for men who would take him home for a good time

that’s where he met his now-boyfriend, julian. before julian, kit would’ve sworn he’d never find someone, never get a crush, never fall in love. one night and kit was questioning everything. a few more and he was hooked harder than any drug could ever get him.

eventually, though, him and julian did fall in love and they’ve been dating ever since. he stopped his sex work entirely & the drugs julian enjoyed slowly became a part of their time together and that’s still very true today. they’re kind of as dependent on it as they are on each other.

kit knows most things about julian’s past and julian knows most things about kit’s past. they’re kindred spirits, both getting their starts way too young and both finding hardships along the way. kit has never smiled as much, laughed as much or loved as much as he has since finding julian so while jules will swear up and down that he’s ruined kit forever by getting him hooked on all kinds of substances, kit thinks julian’s saved his life

they were following one of kit’s elated impulses and taking a road trip from coast to coast and back again on all the money they had left in this run down little jeep station wagon thing when it broke down in north carolina

they got it up and running enough to make their way up to baltimore but then the jeep gave up completely. they sold it for parts and that + julian’s drug money was enough to pay a deposit on an apartment of their own

so now they’re here!!

they’re living on the bare minimum / mattress on the floor type of struggling but they are in love and that’s what matters right? 

SUMMARY – a rough childhood and an even rougher teendom eventually led to one toxic ex boyfriend and a life on the streets. kit found renewed purpose with his now-boyfriend julian who also happened to turn him into a gleeful little druggie along the way. living with no money but a whole lot of love. okay now

PERSONALITY – enigmatic might be a good way to describe kit. he’s fidgety and easily startled, a very frail little thing. he’s off in his own head a lot of the time and he genuinely has a hard time focusing on things. VERY guarded in that you won’t get a peep out of him and his personal life unless you want to talk about his boyfriend who he’ll wax poetic about for hours if you let him. otherwise, he’s social and chatty but about nothing of substance, flirty but with no intention of following through and impulsive to a fault. he’ll make you think you’re his best friend for the evening but not remember you in the morning. only those super close to him get to see a sweet vulnerable side to kit, the rest see this feigned alluring aura and nothing more

PLOTS

party friends – a MUST

some loose circle of friends in general for him and julian!

a good influence ( gonna be a song connection eventually )

protective friends ( though misguided bc he won’t really listen )

smoking buddies

honestly i think it’d be funny if someone didn’t like him bc he flirted with their boyfriend

and alternatively, the boyfriend he flirted with

someone with an instant crush / love at first sight bond with the very taken kit

someone who can develop into his best friend

aaaaaand people him nd julian kinda corrupt. they’re a chaotic force as a duo so rip

oh ig eventually he’s gonna try to make cash the only way he knows how so thats… a possibility

if YOU have any ideas, lemme know!