#and it can be annoying for people to essentially be like 'just stop being sad/negative lmao

[halalhyungwon]

;

[lemony-snickers]

welcome back, anon. your ask is very long & mentioned an ao3 author by name who i'm not sure would want to be associated with my blog, so i've taken screenshots of the ask and blocked the author & title out. ask & answer below the cut. (text id in alts as usual.)

anon, i'm sorry, but it's too early for this. some bullet points:

your ask was not motivational, it was pretty mean (or, perhaps, "blunt and negative," to use your phrasing). and while you are entitled to your opinion of me, whatever that is, i also don't understand why you would want to follow someone you find that annoying.

if you are genuinely trying to help in future, an example of someone essentially telling me the same thing in a more motivational way is the ask i received from super-kame-love yesterday which identified the same problem and also provided a resource to try and combat it. you'll note from their ask they never called me names or used demeaning language. if you're trying to be helpful, this is a better blueprint.

to be clear: those screenshots i included in my reply yesterday are not of negative comments sent to me by someone else. they are of posts i made on a private side blog on tuesday after receiving your first comment & the comment someone else (i assume someone else, anyway) sent me accusing me of sending your ask to myself for attention, which, when combined with your ask about how nagging & attention-seeking i am, made me feel like total & utter garbage. like everyone in the world felt the same way about me & hated me for it.

i use that sideblog as a vent space and you have no idea how fucking dark it gets there. i don't need anyone to leave me negative comments because anything even remotely unkind you or anyone else thinks about me, i guarantee i have already thought of & told myself a thousand times over in much crueler language. i seem sad all the time? yeah, i am sad all the time, i suffer from crippling depression & anxiety which ruins my life & i am in treatment for.

you keep repeating how much more popular smut is. you do know that i write smut, right? that the whole reason i started this blog was to write & publish smut? maybe i don't write the kind of smut you like, but i do write it.

and while sure tiktok can be used to promote fanfic (i mean, i guess? idk.), most of the people i am comparing myself to do not, so you can stop telling me about tiktok. i don't use it and i have no interest in it.

if you think i'm just "sad to gain attention," then maybe you shouldn't follow me. it doesn't seem like you enjoy following me very much if you feel the need to send these long asks about all the things i am doing wrong. i'm sorry to have confused you with the screenshots, but i am pretty uninterested in cointinuing this dialogue if i am honest.

the fact is, what you see of me as lemony-snickers is only one tiny fragment of my life. a vague citrus-shaped snippet. when you call people names (and yeah, calling me a nagging girlfriend counts, i think), it has repercussions. i'm an actual person with actual feelings that were actually hurt by what you sent. it would have hurt regardless, but it had a huge & negative impact not only on that particular day, but spiraling through the rest of my week, because of things happening in my life that you didn't see.

and lastly, anon, if you aren't leaving comments or supporting creators that you enjoy by reblogging their work, you are part of the problem. and to tell someone to stop being sad about interactions when you specifically make the choice not to interact is pretty tone deaf, honestly.

[quartings]

Just some thoughts on “Open-Mindedness” …

There might be a more accurate psychology term for what I’m trying to describe, but I’ll try and sum it up here as best I can.

Lately I’ve realized that a mental trap most people get themselves into is building up preconceptions of things and letting them act as a sort of “negativity filter” forever. Like everything that comes from a bad person/show/movie/group has to be bad, instead of acknowledging that bad things can all range from say, 0% good to 49% good (Just simplifying for clarity, this isn’t exact math of course) Because it’s simpler and easier to say all bad things are 100% bad- and because sometimes we’re worried other people will hate us if we say anything positive about a bad thing, even if it’s true.

To provide a much less confusing example, let’s use CinemaSins. On the surface, there’s nothing wrong with criticizing the bad parts of movies and stories. Feedback and criticism is a good part of helping storytellers improve, after all. The real problem comes from the fact that sinning movies is their business.

This means that in order to make money and survive, the people behind the channel have to constantly be looking for bad movies to critique, or more importantly, good movies to find flaws in. And regardless of whether the criticism is good content for their audience, having that mindset all the time probably isn’t great for the channel owners. They HAVE to reach a certain sin quota per movie so the video is long enough, and each flaw is usually worth 1 sin, no matter how big or small. The movie saying child abuse is good is worth 1 sin, but also a character’s socks changing color between scenes is also worth 1 sin. If they stop hating things, they run out of content to make money off, so they HAVE to keep hating things forever or else. And I do feel kind of bad for them because of that.

So, because no movie is perfect, even if someone watches a fantastic movie with a CinemaSins mentality, they’re going to find small flaws (or even good things that could be better) that will lower their enjoyment of their things. This isn’t to say that the flaws don’t exist, of course they still do. Just that the flaws aren’t worth being upset over.

And so, I’ve noticed that having this kind of mentality for simple things can risk it bleeding through into big things as well. People who aren’t racist/sexist/etc can still discriminate just as badly based on other stereotypes and preconceptions because of this. Being a jerk to someone because they like pineapple on pizza can be just as bad if not worse than racism depending on how harshly the discriminator acts on their beliefs. (To clarify, I don’t like pineapple on pizza) I will admit I have been and still kinda am guilty of stuff like this, too.

Essentially, you run the risk of becoming that kind of tiger parent who freaks out at their kid for getting 99% on a test because of that missing 1%.

It’s really hard to address this issue because oftentimes it sounds like a whole lot of “Just think positively and you’ll be happier!” which is NOT what I’m trying to say at all, don’t worry. As a kid, whenever something bad happened to me, certain adults would say “Don’t be sad! Try to find something positive about this tragedy and be happy about it!” Which would never work at all, because you can’t magically fully convert a bad thing into a good thing with positive thinking. Positive thinking can’t really counter chronic major problems like illnesses, abuse, or climate anxiety. The tips I’m about to suggest are only meant to remedy minor problems.

First, if you’re ever feeling annoyed or anxious about something- just take a break. Hating it won’t make it go away, it’ll still be there for you to hate when you come back from your break. Arguing with people, online or in real life, won’t make it go away either. That doesn’t mean it’s not bad, just that putting in extra energy to hate isn’t worth it. For example, imagine if I dedicated all future posts on this blog to hating on the people who cancelled Bionicle twice, instead of posting art and animations. Do those people deserve that much hatred? Yes and more, actually! But unless I magically gain the power to painfully disintegrate all of them at once, hating them isn’t going to make anyone’s lives better, especially not for you guys, who would probably prefer if I spent my time on more productive things instead.

Second, it can also be helpful to take a step back and think about WHY exactly you love or hate a thing. Is it consistent with your other preferences? You’d be surprised at how many people there are out there who say things like “I hate musicals because characters who stop to sing are unrealistic, and also my favorite movie is (movie that has musical numbers in it)” or “I hate CGI, it always looks so fake. Also my favorite movie is (movie with tons of good un-noticeable CGI)”

Finally, and this is a little harder to do, is to take the energy from hating bad things and channel it not into liking bad things, but liking good things. Sing praises of things you love without putting other things down! Is there an underrated thing in your life you wish more people knew about? Let everyone know how much you like it and why you like it! Here’s one for me- I only discovered tres leches cake last year, and now it’s my favorite kind of cake. I can’t believe I’ve never heard anyone talk about it for most of my life, it’s amazing! Literally cake marinated in icing!

Is there something you love from many years ago that you forgot about until now? Revisit it and take a fun nostalgic trip down memory lane! For me, I’ve recently dived down the Animorphs rabbit hole again- man that was such a good book series.

But yeah, I hope this has helped some of you with anything you may be dealing with! I was inspired to make this because I recently met an unbelievably positive and kind person, and wanted to try my hand at passing some of that along! Thanks for reading this far!

[auntieclimactic]

I've been having a lot of thoughts about bratty!Ted vs. angry!Ted (for reasons, okay)

Such thoughts have led to me flooding the DMs of two kind souls, who have been very encouraging and charitable about this current obsession o' mine. But I do feel it's essential to widen the circle of people you bombard with your opinions SO HERE WE ARE. Keep reading to suffer along with me. 

When it comes to Ted being bratty in the show, we see him provoking or deliberately annoying people as a way to disarm or distract people from actual issues. We can kinda assume this was something he learned from his mother based on what he tells Roy about how she approaches bad news.

"It's funny, 'cause whenever my mom has something tough to talk about with me, she'll, um... you know, she'll start it off saying something about, I don't know, something weird, something overtly nice" (Ted Lasso 01x09).

What Ted says here implies two things: his mom isn't comfortable with negative emotion and she uses humor/kindness as a psychological deflection. This is a common coping mechanism in people who are bad at confrontation (hi, it's me) aka using humor to avoid making people upset or sad when you have something upsetting or potentially challenging to say. There’s a threat there, but it’s safe. It’s not too aggressive.

So maybe, through his mom, Ted learned how to mask feelings like this as a defense mechanism to cope with pain. Like smiling in the mirror, humor is a way to hack sadness. And, because he's TED, he tries to leverage that strategy to help others, using humor to make others feel good, gain intimacy, or help buffer stress. We see this in the show when:

Ted jokes with Nate in episode one to put him at ease—"I love your hot dogs"—and gain intimacy.

When he frantically cracks jokes during that train wreck of a first press conference—"the fellow that bends it like himself" and "the fella with the Mickey Mouse hands"—to buffer stress.

Singing Kenny Rogers at Rebecca when she is clearly frustrated and stressed out—both in an attempt to gain intimacy and buffer her stress.

Chasing Beard down the pitch, trying to tell him the British owl joke after they fought about benching Roy. 

Joking awkwardly with Sassy in the morning after.

All his desperate attempts to banter with Sharon in early season two, both in an attempt to gain intimacy with her and deflect from his anxiety.

When taken too far, these moments of humor become brattiness. I think Ted’s brattiness is deliberate. Either out of desperation to deflect or curiosity on how the other party will respond. To me, there’s something so enthralling about a character who’s willing to annoy, but stops just short of confrontation.

Which leads us to angry!Ted. 

@nandalorian, who is wiser and smarter than me in many ways, reminded me of how the show implied that Ted acted out and pushed boundaries after his father's suicide. We have the fact that he didn't go to his dad's funeral and that fun little story about ending up in jail after prom to support this. 

Young Ted was probably spoiling for a fight. Looking for an outlet for his anger, grief, and betrayal. You can only imagine the stress that would place on a newly widowed parent, especially one who is hinted at intensely disliking confrontation and vocalizing negativity. Someone in Ted's life obviously called him to heel. Someone who sent Ted a very strong message that anger hurts others and expressing it is toxic. Wouldn't it be better to stuff that anger down, so he can step up and support his mom? Maybe someone in his life like... a coach? (That would certainly go a long way towards explaining his investment in Jamie.)

So now we have a Ted who internalizes the message that there's no place for anger in life and has an unhealthy sense of responsibility for other people's happiness.  So healthy. Much psychological well-being. 

We get flashes of angry!Ted on the show, and boy howdy are they fascinating. Offhand, I can think of the following moments:

Ted yelling at Jamie when he lies about being hurt to get out of practicing—"Practice! You know you're supposed to be out there. You know you're supposed to lead by example. You're just shoving that all aside"—and wow isn't that outburst TELLING. 

The darts scene with Rupert, which is one of the few scenes we see a genuine flash of rage in Ted's eyes and the one example of threatening physical retaliation ("Hey now. Better manners when I'm holding darts).

The scene where he storms into Rebecca's office after Jamie was recalled to Man City. This is the first time Ted actually verbalizes his anger: "I'm trying to be cool about this, but I am just seeing red everywhere."

The attempted therapy scene with Sharon, which is the only time we have Ted swearing: "I think it's bullshit. You don't know me. We don't have history. And yet you just expect me to spill my guts about all the gory details of my life." This scene is so interesting and potentially an example of a younger Ted's combativeness. 

After every single one of these moments, Ted does one of two things:

Immediately removes himself from the situation by leaving the room.

Defuses the situation and undermines his own expression of anger with a joke.

Now removing yourself from a situation that is making you angry isn't necessarily a bad strategy. Except when you're obviously terrified of having negative emotions or shutting down further conversation. Avoiding or refusing to examine your anger, both by physically leaving or falling back on humor, is not a great coping strategy, Ted. Anger is a valid emotion and you are allowed to express it in healthy ways. 

I think, in some ways, there's still a part of Ted that's spoiling for a fight. Consider the darts scene. As the brilliant @kiraziwrites pointed out, this scene is a masterclass in maintaining plausible deniability while absolutely picking a fight. But Ted doesn't think anger or frustration can be expressed healthily. He avoids saying no and avoids confrontation because making a fuss hurts people. It's bad. Maybe it even makes people leave you because they're going to realize you're not worth the effort. So instead of doing all that or doing anything to confront that internalized anger, he drinks. 

For Ted to learn how to healthily express that anger and resentment, someone's going to have to pry through his brattiness, his avoidance, and his jokey jokes. We saw Sharon do this when she ignored him or rebuffed his provocation with cool professionalism and then again when she spoke to him over the phone after her bike accident. Was that the first time Ted ever heard someone be that calmly emotionally vulnerable? Like a negative feeling was no big deal, just something two people could easily chat about?

Sharon led by example, creating a safe space where Ted could confess to being anything but sunshine and rainbows 24/7. Frankly, I think the only reason Ted was able to stand outside Sharon’s flat to confront her ghosting or finally address Nate’s obvious rage was because of all the work Sharon did with him. Old Ted would’ve followed the instinct to joke his way out of it (like Higgin’s offered with the letter pun) or shove it down (like he told Beard he was planning on doing in the pub scene).

Sharon is very good at her job, and we all deserve to have such a therapist in our lives, is what I’m saying.

Now! Cue my tin foil hat time. 

Trent would be intensely intrigued by a Ted who's obviously upset and trying to shove it down. As we Trent/Ted shippers like to say: Trent Crimm wants to dissect Ted Lasso. Because Trent is curious about people. He likes to push and nudge and examine what makes them tick. And Ted loves provoking people, but how many times do we see him interact with someone willing to push back? Who doesn't just roll their eyes, sigh in exasperation, or laugh it off? I think Trent (outside of Sharon) is one of the few people who consistently examine Ted's responses more carefully (Rebecca and Beard push back as well, just not as consistently). 

Trent's an observant fellow. There's no way he's not going to clock Ted's inclination to challenge others, be bratty in times of stress, and the way he quashes his combative impulses before he can fully commit to a fight. As @nandalorian pointed out during one of my word vomits in their DMs, Trent LOVES a challenge. Otherwise he wouldn't be so drawn to the who, what, and why of Ted Lasso in the first place—to the point where he dramatically blew up his career to "look for something deeper" (he said, gazing meaningfully into Ted's eyes).  With that in mind, I could very much see Trent provoking Ted right back, trying to get to the core of that belligerence and giving Ted space to make a Big Damn Fuss because sometimes, in the right situation, making a fuss can be good for you. Especially in a space where you know you won't be rejected or abandoned after exposing this side of yourself. 

In conclusion, this show is a thrilling study of the ways people express (and don't express) negative emotions, and the third story in the Trent/Ted BDSM verse would be coming along swimmingly if I could stop yelling about it. 

[astaroth1357]

Hi there, congrats for the 1500 subs. How about the bros reaction to an MC who's an empath?

Brothers with an MC Who is an Empath

This should not have been as hard as it was but maaan, my brain just wasn’t working. Finally got it done though!

Intro:

An Empath is essentially someone who is highly sensitive to outside stimuli like sounds, personalities, energies, emotions, or just hectic/chaotic environments. They tend to absorb the emotions of others into themselves because of this. Though their sensitivity can grant deeper understanding for others, it comes at the price of the Empath’s own emotional and physical health if not given enough time to decompress which can lead to feeling drained, irritable, depressed, or overwhelmed.

Lucifer

Oh boy, if there was ever any demon not in tune to his own emotions…

He started out legitimately not knowing what an "empath" was and frankly he didn't care to know. His main concern was just keeping the MC alive.

Though that didn't seem to be too hard because they apparently get tired quickly… or at least they had to take extended periods away from most of his brothers.

He wasn't sure why, he first assumed it was because they found his brothers annoying but that didn't seem to be the case either...

He'd see them grinning with Mammon after a jackpot, relaxing with Satan in silence, and even crying with Levi over things so niche and pointless he couldn’t imagine that they actually cared...

It wasn’t too long until they set their sights on him. 

They always seemed to know when he was stressed or when he needed to talk to someone. He'd even be embarrassed to admit there were days when he’d just hover somewhat close to them, face more or less slathered with "I really need to talk right now" but too proud to make the first move.

After some time, he decided to look up what an empath was again and it all clicked into place. They probably knew when he was tired because they could just sense it off of him.

And who knows how exhausting that must be for them...

After that little revelation he actually started paying more attention to his own health to keep it from spilling over to them, but he would still go to them to talk from time to time. He honestly never expected a human to become his closest confidant.

Mammon

Mammon has BIG energy. He’s one of those personalities that just brightens a room he walks in but damn… if he’s not a little exhausting to be around sometimes…

Truthfully, he was kind of into their whole “I know how you feel so you don’t have to say it” vibe though it was really confusing to start with...

On the one hand, they never made fun of him for his sensitive side. Not once. And they seemed pick up on the days where he wasn't feeling his best as well, which only made him happy and want spend more time with them.

But on the other hand, he'd be lying if he said that their need to recharge away from him didn't catch him off guard a lot... Hell, for the first few weeks of getting to know the MC he thought they didn't like him at all!

It took the MC sitting him down and explaining to him that they're more sensitive to things like lights, sounds, and emotions for him to kind of get the picture. It wasn’t that they didn’t like him, they just needed to be somewhere calm.

Cue a lot of “Okay human, I’ll be calm. Promise! Ya won’t even now I’m here!” in a well meaning, but pretty loud voice and not getting much better from there, bless his heart...

Even after he eventually gets the picture and stops hanging off of their leg, it does bum him out to be separated for however long it takes for them to get better (at worst, it can be days).

But he really gets excited like a puppy whenever they finally come back again! Big grins and lots of hugs (good luck peeling him off now).

Levi

Levi is... best taken in short bursts.

Though his personality isn’t big like Mammon’s, he does have a lot of lingering negativity around him. Not exactly his fault, being Envy and all, but not great for someone who’s sensitive to emotions.

In truth, Levi genuinely loves being around the MC because they “get” him even if they don’t get what’s happening.

While his brothers may roll their eyes or struggle to understand how he can put so much emotional investment into an anime or a character, the MC would always seem to feel and respect that his emotions were genuine and let him experience them without question.

… But at the same time, that sensitivity meant that they got carried in with him through his every emotion, good, bad, or somewhat erratic depending on the situation… 

Add to that his higher than usual need for validation, investment, and feedback due to his insecurity and unfortunately he’s easily the most emotionally draining person in the House...

It took some time to explain to Levi what an empath was and that their desired space wasn’t because there was something wrong with him or anything, they just needed breaks. Thankfully, being an introvert himself meant that Levi understood this a lot quicker than Mammon.

In truth, being with Levi could be fun and rewarding for both parties. During his high points, his happiness truly does shine like no other, just… don’t overdo it.

Satan

In the beginning, Satan was honestly pretty impressed how quickly the exchange student saw through his fake smiles. They’d know that there was no actual joy behind them and thus avoided him for the most part.

This was before they formed their pact so he was perfectly fine with that. Let them hide, that’s the smart idea.

But after getting to know them and going through the body-switch, he started to see that it was deeper than just some good intuition on their part. Something about them… reflected the people around them...

They appeared to be acutely aware of the emotion in a given person or a given room and reacted like they were soaking in the atmosphere they found themselves in. Taking it into themselves…

It truly confused him.

Satan is the picture of emotional control, it’s been taught to him again and again to always keep a good handle on himself because things go flying when he doesn’t. The idea of being so open to others just didn’t make much sense to him… 

Why would anyone want to live so dependent on the emotions of others? It sounded chaotic just to hear about it...

But after he opened up to them about his own inner doubts he started to think it wasn’t such a bad thing. They appeared to be equipped to help him navigate his own emotions, especially the new ones he didn’t have the best grasp on yet.

He later did his own research into human emotions, discovered empaths, and that put it all into perspective. Like Lucifer, he did his best not to overwhelm them after that but there was little worry about that anyway. Satan is, again, emotional control at its finest.

Asmodeus

Oh, Asmo picked up on their human’s little quirk relatively quickly compared to his brothers. Being emotionally observant is just part of what makes him so good at what he does.

Honestly, he enjoyed just watching them from afar… Watching the way their eyes lit up when talking to a cheerful Simeon or how huffy and frustrated they’d get along with Mammon when things weren’t going his way. It was cute to him, like a child playing “Pretend.”

Eventually, though, he started to notice that it went a lot deeper than mere imitation...

One day, Levi came home distraught about the tragic death of some voice actor he fancied and the MC was right along with him, crying as if that loss was theirs...

On another, Satan had spent the whole day silently fuming and the MC was a complete wreck, tense and on-edge for no other reason than the feeling of aggression in the air…

And crowds… crowded rooms seemed to be the death of them. So much noise and constant input, they’d have to leave so quickly…

Asmo saw all these things himself, without having to be told, and he became a refuge for them when things became too much. He has a big personality himself, but he could tone it down for a time and offer them a place away for a while.

If school, parties, or the brothers themselves just became too much, the MC could always go to Asmo’s room to vent like they let everybody else to with them. He’d keep the place quiet and calm and just help them sort things out...

Thank their father for Asmo’s observance.

Beelzebub

Legit the calmest, sweetest, nicest person to be around. Truly the best companion for an empathic MC to have.

Beel’s personality is positive, sweet, and (most importantly) stable. He’s not too bombastic nor too withdrawn, he’s not riddled with hidden stress or self-loathing, and he’s not even manipulative in any way, he’s just… Beel.

Am I saying that Beel is the MC’s emotional support demon? Yes. Yes I am.

Being around Beel is like hooking them up to a walking battery recharging station. Something about him just exudes warmth and comfort… They could be wrapped up in his arms for days and never say a word yet still be perfectly content...

Beel doesn't really mind them coming to him when distressed either because he likes being able to help them when they’re feeling drained. It makes him feel kind of special, they don’t seem to go to anyone else in quite the same way.

Usually, one of his brothers will be in a bad mood and the human will flock to Beel like a protective barrier. They'll hug him or trail along behind him like a lost puppy, which he thinks is very cute.

If they’re feeling really out of it, he’d carry them around on his back while they rest like he does for Belphie sometimes. Any time his brothers try to get too close to them or look like they’re going to bother them, he’ll just carry them away to some place quieter.

Though, the MC did pick up the deep sadness he felt for Lilith and Belphie (while he was gone) from time to time.... Which, considering how kind and comforting he usually is, just makes that dip in mood all the more painful and distressing for them. Poor baby… 

Belphegor

Belphie is another calm personality to have around, kind of similar to Beel, but since he's more prone to sadness and irritability he doesn't make the best companion…

If Beel is comfort, then Belphie is repose. Relaxed and peaceful, but also languid and sluggish… When Beel isn't around, then he makes a decent second, but only on good days.

Belphie has a mixed opinion on their uncanny ability to pick up on his feelings… He tries his best to be “mysterious” so having someone who can read him like a book gets under his skin just a little…

But he also really likes how much it helps them get to know him and understand where he’s coming from (being the youngest, he isn’t as used to being heard by anybody other than Beel). So, he’s very conflicted…

It didn’t help at all when it came to light that the MC could legitimately tell that he felt very hostile and angry towards them while he was still in the attic. When he asked why they helped him anyway, they told him so that they could make Beel happy again, regardless of how he felt about them which... ouch...

As if he could feel any worse about that particular incident… They could feel how guilty he was about that… right?

Even if they can’t he makes sure that they know that he’s sorry and he won’t do it again. Probably the lil’shit.

[tea-and-la]

“Katara is Hot-Headed”

.... okay, so i’ve seen this ICE cold take enough time to warrant a formal post. i’ve seen and strongly agree with the posts i’ve seen that refute this, like @shewhotellsstories post here. but unfortunately, this sentiment is still something that’s widely accepted in the atla fandom. it’s no surprise that “katara is hotheaded” is the common argument for “why zutara doesn't work.” and while it’s more than irritating that zutara antis love to align them in ways that are only negative in nature, i’m not going to get into that. i’m going to focus on katara. 

one of the key defining aspects of katara’s personality is her patience. she is unwavering in her faith of aang (through their numerous supportive talks), as well as her encouragement of her friends when they need it (ex. toph in the runaway and sokka in sokka’s master.) but most notably? let’s talk about the desert episode because this is where katara’s patience really shines. 

there are a lot of things going on in that episode. aang is dealing with grief from the loss of appa and lashes out at both toph and katara while also intermittently flying away from the group. what would a “hot headed” or quick-tempered person do in this situation? let’s look at some of the dialogue: 

aang: [Enraged.] How could you let them take Appa?! ‌ Why didn't you stop them‌?!

toph: [Defensively.] I couldn't! The library was sinking! You guys were still inside and-

aang: [Snaps at Toph in a harsh way.] You just didn't care! You never liked Appa! You wanted him gone!

aang looks extremely furious at Toph as Katara walks over to him. She puts her hand on his shoulder to try and calm him down.

katara: We're all concerned, but we can't afford to be fighting now.

in that dialogue, katara inserts herself in to mediate. she recognizes that he’s in a dark place, and she sees past the harshness of his words to see that they come from a place of hurt, not malice. she reacts with empathy and understanding. 

a quick-tempered person would not have responded in this way.

the majority of this episode, katara is essentially the leader of the group. it’s swelteringly hot, which is enough for any hot headed person to get irritated, but she doesn’t. 

toph: Katara, can I have some more water?

katara: Okay, but we've got to try to conserve it.

sokka: [As he points to his mouth.] We're drinking your bending water. [He tries to define the taste of the water, smacking his lips. Disgustedly he exclaims.] You used this on the swamp guy! Urch!

toph: It does taste swampy.

katara: [Sad tone.] I'm sorry, it's all we have.

in this scene, even momo complains about the taste of the water, the only water they have. and katara’s response was to apologize for something she can’t control. 

after this point, she has to lead toph through the sand, while sokka is high on cactus juice and aang is upset. instead of getting frustrated, she tries to inspire hope into them all: 

aang: [Hopelessly.] What's the difference? We won't survive without Appa. We all know it.

katara: [Encouraging.] Come on, Aang. We can do this if we work together. Right Toph?

toph: As far as I can feel, we're trapped in a giant bowl of sand pudding. I got nothin'.

katara: [Hopeful.] Sokka? Any ideas how to find Ba Sing Se?

Sokka and Momo lie side by side on their backs, arms and legs stretched out. Sokka smiles blissfully.

she does get annoyed, but she doesn’t direct that frustration at any of them, unlike a quick tempered person would do.

katara: [Grabs her head in annoyance.] Ugh ... We're getting out of this desert, and we're going to do it together! Aang, get up. Everybody, hold hands. We can do this. We have to.

the point of these excerpts isn’t to say that anyone else in the gaang is horrible. i just wanted to point out the moments when she could’ve gotten frustrated and lashed out, but didn’t. not once. 

patience and quick temperedness are antonyms of each other. and imo, the fact that so much of katara’s character is defined by her patience (even outside of this specific episode) and nurturing (for over 80% of the show)  is enough to refute her “hotheadedness.” especially, when the other members of the gaang are allowed to be upset and/or angry on occasion and their dispositions/temperaments are not immediately associated with hotheadedness. maybe unpack why that is. 

let’s take the instance when she and toph argue in the chase. first of all, this episode is characterized by all of the members of the gaang being sleep deprived (i.e. not in their normal states), so their attitudes should be taken with a grain of salt. (what humans do you know that are happy-go-lucky when they haven’t slept enough?)

 anyway, the episode starts with katara attempting to lightly hint to toph about  group dynamics. 

katara: So Toph, usually when setting up camp, we try to divide up the work.

toph: [Shrugging casually.] Hey, don't worry about me. I'm good to go.

katara: Well, actually what I'm trying to say is, [Holds arms out in gesture.] some of us might fetch water, while someone else might set up the fire pit, or put up the tent. [Momo flies over to her, dropping several berries he had collected into her hands.] Even Momo does his fair share.

toph: [Breezily.] Katara, I'm fine. I can carry my own weight. I don't need a fire, [Pats bag.] I've already collected my own food and look, [Earthbends a rock tent over her.] my tent's all set up.

katara: [Slightly irritated.] Well, that's great for you, but we still need to finish 

toph: [Angered.] I don't understand what's the problem here!

katara: Waves her hand dismissively and walks away.] Never mind.

from the above excerpt, she drops the issue and doesn’t lash out. later, she even goes back and tries to make amends with toph. she even tries smiling before she heads over there.

Cuts to Katara, who sets down a jug of water. She looks over at Toph, sitting comfortably beneath her earth tent. Her dull expression changes to one of slight happiness. She approaches Toph who is eating some sort of food item.

katara: [Rubs back of head sheepishly.] Hey Toph, I wanted to apologize for earlier. I think we're all just a little tired and getting on each other's nerves.

toph: [Casually.] Yeah, you do seem pretty tired.

katara: [Growing disgusted.] I meant all of us.

Cuts to shot of inside Toph's earth tent as she lazily tosses the food item onto the ground and lays her head down to rest.

toph: Well, good night.

katara: [Slightly irked.] Good night.

none of her mannerisms and word choices are characteristic of someone with a temper. despite toph’s slight unintentional antagonistic remarks, katara doesn’t react. 

later, after they managed to evade the azula’s tank train for the night, they land appa. and katara tries, again:

toph: [Leaping off Appa and lying on the ground, relieved.] Ah, land sweet land! [Rises and says cheerfully.] See you guys in the morning!

katara: Actually, can you help us unload?

toph: [Points a finger at Katara in irritation.] Look! I didn't ask you to help unload my stuff! [Turns and begins walking away.] I'm carrying my own weight.

katara: [Angrily.] That's not the point. [Approaches Toph.] Ever since you joined us, you've been nothing but selfish and unhelpful!

toph: [Enraged.] What? Look here, sugar queen, [Points finger at Katara.] I gave up everything I had so that I could teach Aang earthbending. So don't you talk to me about being selfish!

the only times when katara reacts in anger that could be perceived as impulsive, is when she is insulted by Pakku and when Sokka suggests that she leave the Fire Nation town without helping. Both of these are hardly instances of hotheadedness, and moreso a reflection of who she is as a character: someone who doesn’t turn her back on people who needs her and someone who fights injustice. 

why would we call katara hotheaded for not settling for being antagonized by a misogynistic asshole? she was a trailblazer in that scene and it meant so much to the little girls of the Northern Water Tribe. similarly, why would we call her hotheaded for not being able to turn away from people who are in need? after all, that’s a core part of her character’s trauma: feeling of survivor’s guilt that there was something she could’ve done to save her mom. it’s part of why she has to act to help others. her passion isn’t synonymous with hotheadedness. 

[tanadrin]

I suppose because politics is what means I have no future of any kind left, so it's hard to be silly about it. And I seem to have landed myself in a sector of social media filled with people who are very smug about how smart and nihilistic they are, and I hate all of you with the hatred that only a miserable, powerless person can feel.

I don’t buy it. Unless you are quite literally scheduled to be executed at dawn, “no future of any kind left” because of politics is catastrophizing. People in very dire circumstances the world over often manage to build some kind of life for themselves; it may not be the life they want, and the suffering they endure because of the circumstances they are limited by should not be dismissed, but to say that someone in such adverse conditions has no future is to infantalize them and deny them the agency they do have to shape their life to some extent.

And this is an insight I’ve found important when dealing with depression in myself: even if one’s catastrophizing is not irrational (say, you’re a queer person stuck in an extremely homophobic environment, at minimum for the next 5-10 years), that does not mean it is useful. To put it another way: circumstance might justifiably make you angry and sad and frustrated. That may be rational. Deciding, in the face of that anger and sadness and frustration, to surrender to it is not rational.

So--assuming that you are not a political dissident due to be executed, nor suffering from a terminal illness which somehow for political reasons cannot be cured (if either of these things are true, you have my sincere condolences)--I have to say, this ask reeks of someone who’s depressed. If you are depressed, you will always be able to come up with reasons why happiness is unattainable for you, due to circumstances entirely out of your control. This is not a crazy thing to think, because if you are depressed and not treating that depression, most if not all the things you try to do will not solve your unhappiness because they are usually orthogonal to what is making you unhappy. Your very ability to accurately imagine future happy states and what might bring them about is suppressed by depression; for instance, you might, if you are depressed and you know it, rationally understand that exercise often helps with your depression, but be unable to motivate yourself to exercise because the intuitive link between if I do X I will feel better is broken by an internal forecasting system that refuses to spit out predictions other than “nothing I do will help with anything.”

A depressed state is not a psychotic break--it doesn’t cause you to lose touch with reality--but I think depressed people would sometimes benefit from treating it like one, because it does subvert your ability to accurately model the world, and therefore you can’t trust your own ability to reason or intuit about certain topics. I have both experienced this from the inside, and seen it from the outside: friends whose depression causes them to believe they are unlovable, and thus that nobody loves them, even when told (and shown) repeatedly that they are very much loved, and very important to the people around them.

In fact, you remind me of this post: depressed and anxious people who notice politics is depressing and anxiety-inducing, and that depressing and anxiety-inducing problems confront the world and society, and therefore conclude that their depression and anxiety are a rational and reasonable response to the world. But that doesn’t follow at all! A lot of responses to a depressing and anxiety-inducing environment are more useful that shutting down and withdrawing, or letting yourself be paralyzed; and even if there are negative external factors in the world affecting your life, if you have nothing in your life that is a sufficient source of joy to offset these things at least somewhat, then you have problems sufficiently severe that I don’t think your depression or anxiety can be laid at the feet of the world at large alone; more likely, you’re dealing with shitty personal circumstances, and these are far more likely to be tractable to your individual capacities than, like, all of climate change. And if you do have some sources of joy in your life, you can cultivate those further.

To put it another way: humans are very bad at reasoning about things on large scales or over large timelines. One reason we’re slow to solve problems like climate change is that we tend to be pretty blasé about remote and impersonal problems, which is actually often useful as well--because it means we’re capable of adjusting our hedonic barometer to create joy even in catastrophic circumstances. If you are constantly worried about big issues like climate change or the Trump presidency to the point where you can never do that, then the conclusion you should draw isn’t that you’re a uniquely rational human being with a uniquely accurate worldview, it’s that your brain is broken and you should not trust your intuitition.

Emotional states are not rational models of the world. They are tools our brain uses to motivate certain kinds of action. They probably have their origin in our social evolution, but this means they are extremely untrustworthy when it comes to complex, large-scale, philosophical, or impersonal issues, because these are not scenarios our brains evolved to handle before the advent of high-population, highly-stratified societies.

Now, I realize it’s hard to convince someone they are depressed and/or should seek treatment by rational argument (lord knows I’ve tried in the past!), because after all, if we were being perfectly rational, we would not feel depressed. We wouldn’t feel anything; again, emotions are contingent tools, not highly rationalized responses to the world! So I won’t belabor this point any longer. Instead, now I’m going to get annoyed with you.

Because here’s the other thing depressed people do--and I have done myself. They see people who are not depressed, whose hedonic barometers are functioning normally, and capable of experiencing joy even in arguably (or inarguably!) shitty circumstances, and they get mad at them. How dare you be capable of laughing at a joke, or sharing a meme, or having a nice day, when everything is so bad!

This is a common response, not only from depression, but also I think from grief, or fear, or trauma, or lots of other things. But it’s bullshit. I’m sorry, but you don’t get to demand that everyone feel your suffering as acutely as they feel their own. You don’t get to demand that just because you’re a pessimistic ball of frustration and anger that everyone else be, too. You get to--and ought to--demand that people treat you with empathy and respect, but that doesn’t mean they don’t get to make jokes about topics you find depressing as hell. Yes, even topics that personally affect you, and may not personally affect them (though, of course, a lot of times people assume the person making the joke isn’t personally affected by the topic, when in reality they are and the joke is a way of relieving stress and coping with frustration).

That calvin and hobbes meme I reblogged is an extremely generic political compass meme; the only relevance it has to the world today, I suppose, is acknowledging that, like, politics is a thing that exists. If you’re upset by that--how dare people laugh at politics, the source of all my problems--you’re being a dick.

And this leads my to my final point, which is this: while we are all of us owed compassion, we also owe others compassion. And people caught up in their own anxiety and depression and anger often don’t see the way their emotional states impose costs on the people around them. They often treat the people around them badly--worse, at any rate, than they normally would--and react defensively if this is pointed out to them.

I’ve done this. I have friends who have done this. I get it. It doesn’t make someone a horrible person! It doesn’t meant they deserve to feel the way they do. But it does create the second half of a twofold moral obligation. You see, I believe that the, call it “utilitarian selfishness” view, is essentially correct: if all humans are of similar moral worth (they are), and you can only help one person (often true), and that person is yourself, it is no less moral to help yourself than it is to help someone else. This is usually framed as a grant of permission: “you are allowed to be selfish sometimes.” But it’s also an obligation: “you should not be a dick--even to yourself.” You have a positive obligation to care about your own suffering! And you have a positive obligation to try to reduce the costs your suffering--your bad mood, your depression, your anxiety--imposes on the people around you.

Because I’m not a smug nihilist. I actually believe, with embarrassing intensity, in a large number of abstract principles. And while I believe circumstance or injustice can conspire to make people feel miserable and powerless, and I have the utmost sympathy for you feeling that way, no one is so omnipotent as to be able to truly excise our power to do something with our life that is rewarding to us, no matter how modest. Your subjective feeling of misery is not license to be a dick to people, or to misrepresent them or their motivations. And if reading my tumblr (or anyone else’s) makes you miserable, you have a positive moral obligation to stop, because you’re being a dick to yourself, which is no more justifiable than being a dick to me. And being a dick to me because you don’t like my Tumblr, because you’re miserable and I’m not, is pants-on-head stupid.

I, too, have been so convinced of my misery and powerlessness, and so utterly convinced of my inability to make improvements in my life, that I have yielded utterly to the feeling of myself as a despised, helpless, wretched thing. You can spend years in that state. A lifetime, even. I suppose it relieves you from the burden of having to try, which is a tiny shred of comfort when the climb up the hill seems so steep. But I have found that in the long run it brings no other relief; there’s no regression to the mean, just an endless prolongation of misery. It required some courage, and not a little determination, to try to climb out of that pit. Sometimes you struggle. Sometimes you fall back in. Sometimes it’s easier to believe there’s nothing beyond that place of unhappiness. But there is, and you can get there, and the choice of whether or not to reach it lies only with you.

[daturanerium]

okay. i’m seeing a lot of misinformation being spread about the whole “veth is homophobic” thing and as someone who’s active on that side of the fandom i’d like to clear up some stuff because this has been blown way out of proportion. 

1. “veth is homophobic” has always been a joke shared among this subsection of fandom. it’s been around for months and has about the same energy as me calling something homophobic when it inconveniences me (ie, no energy; not at all serious). very few, if any of us actually believe veth (or sam) is homophobic. as far as i/we are aware, homophobia doesn’t exist in exandria! we’d like to keep it that way.

2. a lot of us in this little subsection used to be huge nott/veth fans, including me. i was a whole nott stan for like a year and a half! we’re confused, sad, and disappointed with veth’s current characterization. her sudden change in....just about everything feels very uncomfortable and forced to a lot of us. characters are allowed to have flaws, we’re not denying that! it’s just that, to us, a lot of veth’s many flaws don’t make sense or fit with her character and situation. and that makes us sad, because veth was a character we really used to like. 

3. re: veth and beau’s relationship issues. veth has always been a little antagonistic towards beau, unfortunately. it seems like their rift has only grown within the last few episodes. now, again, character relationships shouldn’t be perfect and conflict in games is interesting! i think the main issues lies in not having any known basis; veth’s negative words and actions towards beau seem to be coming from nowhere. it’s disappointing to watch. if veth had a reason to act negatively toward’s beau we would be a lot more content with the situation. but, as things currently stand, we are unaware of any reason why veth is acting this way.

4. re: “shipping discourse”, which is a term that shouldn’t be used for this situation. the problem that a lot of fans are having with veth isn’t about beaujester or beauyasha or beau-whatever. it’s about veth knowing about beau’s crush, saying “i’ll do some work!”, and then actively trying to push fjord and jester into a relationship. whether or not you think jester still has feelings for fjord doesn’t matter; it’s clearly making jester uncomfortable and annoyed, and her “work” has almost seemed to turn into an obsession. veth has done a lot of odd/uncomfortable stuff around relationships and romance (her pushing f/j despite neither fjord nor jester having asked her to, her constantly making sex jokes out of the blue, her writing a letter to astrid without caleb’s permission and later making jokes about him reuniting and having sex with her, etc.). on their own, these instances look pretty harmless. but when you put them together, we start to notice a trend of veth being inconsiderate towards other people’s relationships in favor of herself. now, what i said before still stands: character flaws are important in fleshing out a character and allowing them to grow. the problem is that we really haven’t seen veth grow in this sense at all. she’s been (to a certain degree) inserting herself into relationships for a while now. so, when beau confessed her feelings for jester to veth, we assumed that it would go the same way--veth would see an opportunity to play matchmaker and snatch it up, since this is a trend we’ve been witnessing happen to other potential relationships in the group. but instead, veth essentially forgets about it, instead pushing f/j even more. last episode we even saw her pretend to be the traveler and write suggestive things about fjord in jester’s sketchbook. the question quickly became: what’s different about beau’s crush on jester? why did veth latch onto jester’s crush on fjord and caleb’s past relationship with astrid but completely ignore beau’s crush on jester? i’ve seen a lot of people say “beau didn’t want her to interfere!” and that’s true, but the thing we’re noticing is that someone not wanting veth to interfere hasn’t stopped her before. why is it stopping her now? so, tl;dr: our problem isn’t with “our ship not being canon”. it’s about a lesbian being treated differently than m/f relationships in-game. that’s where the hurt and suspicion comes from--the implications and context make the situation a little more noticeable, and to some upsetting. (it would be nice if sapphics, especially lesbians, could voice our opinions and criticisms without them being reduced to “shipping discourse”. unfortunately, i don’t think that will be stopping anytime soon). 

5) re: “death threats”. i haven’t personally seen any directed at sam but if they’re out there i would like to sincerely apologize for them. we do not stand for anything of the sort. i have also seen some threats directed at my friends who are a part of the side of cr twitter that is currently in focus since the “discourse” has gone mainstream. it’s frightening to see, but thankfully it hasn’t happened a whole lot. some of us have tagged sam in various threads/tweets about our concerns with veth (with varying levels of passion and professionalism). we do not condone death threats in any way shape or form, and anyone who sends death threats does not represent us.

so, tl;dr: current cr discourse actually revolves around veth’s current inconsistencies in her characterizations and actions. this “discourse” has been around for a lot longer than most people realize, and most of it comes from a point of love for veth’s character and potential. and, of course, we don’t condone death threats.

if anyone wants clarification, examples, etc, feel free to reply and/or message me. i wanted to keep this post fairly short but i can go into more detail if you’d like! 

sincerely, 

emmy, @acefjords (a former veth/nott stan)

[grayyxv]

A Comprehensive Analysis of Eustass 'Captain' Kid

I've been wanting to write this for awhile now as Kid is undoubtedly one of my favourite characters in One Piece. Also, I'm majoring in Psychology so I can't help but think about why I love his character so much.

Disclaimer: As we all know, Kid doesn't have much screentime so it's quite difficult to understand his character completely. So, whatever you read will be my own intepretation of his character (based on the little amount of scenes that he has). Of course, you don't have to agree with it but it might give you a bit of a different perspective!

So, withour further ado, let's begin!

*P.s I'll try to make it flow in but it might end up really messy so I apologize for that*

Note: NOT SPOILER FREE!!!

1. Assumptions

I guess I'll begin with some of the common assumptions of his character based on posts/videos I've seen about his character. They frequently refer to Kid as 'cruel' or 'heartless'. Basically, there are many negative remarks about his character that makes him seem like a total psychopath.

Their reasoning for this would be because:

- He mentioned that he would kill anyone would mocked him

- His high bounty = He's notorious & violent

- The way he acts makes him come off as a bloodthirsty pirate

From another standpoint, I can see why people might think that way about him. The way he speaks and acts does make him look villainous. In addition, his primary role in One Piece is to be Luffy's rival. (I'll expand on this point later.) So, one might think that his morals would contrast Luffy. Whereas Luffy is the kind and benevolent pirate, Kid is the 'bad guy' who is cruel and heartless. The question is, though Kid is rival character, why does that necessarily mean that he would be a bad guy? I strongly disagree that Kid is a psychopath and that he is heartless. Firstly, the term 'psychopath' shouldn't be used so loosely. A true psychopath would have no regard for other's feelings which is not true of Kid because he cares very much for his crew. On the other hand, Doflamingo would be a good example of a psychopath. Next, even if Kid WERE a psychopath, not all psychopaths are violent. So it'd be nice if people stopped misrepresenting psychopaths.

Now, if there is one thing I learned in psychology, is that people tend to make assumptions about a person's actions as part of their personal dispositions rather than because of situation. This would be the Fundamental Attribution Error (FAE). What do I mean by this? Let's take a look at Kid's scenario. He mentioned killing people who mocked his dream. Killing people would make people automatically assume that Kid is 'violent'. But here is a different perspective, what if 'mocking him' had meant that they tried to start a fight with him? Provoking other people repeatedly would cause anybody to get angry. There are many other characters who acts this way as well. Sure, Luffy doesn't go as far as to kill them but I'm sure that many other characters do because they are PIRATES.

In contrast, I think of this situation as Kid standing up for himself. He believes in himself and he would beat anyone up who tells him otherwise. If you think about it, Luffy is kind of similar because he ends up fighting anyone who tries to stop him from attaining his goal.

That is pretty much all the assumptions that people make about his character. It's sad how they don't delve deeper but fret not!! I still have more to say.

2. Pre-Timeskip vs Timeskip Changes/Growth as a character

During Pre-timeskip, Kid is seen as overconfident. I actually agree with this statement quite a lot. His high bounty was a result of his reckless behaviour. He could easily triumph over anyone before the timeskip. That was when he started to become a little too full of himself. Consequently, he suffered heavy losses. His arm was taken by Shanks, his crew was utterly defeated by Kaido (curse you Apoo) and his reputation as the top supernova was instantly lost to Luffy. His true character development was in the Wano arc where we see how he starts to take a step back and re-evaluate his situation. The most obvious evidence for this was when he got captured in Udon. He was quiet (before Luffy's arrival) and deep in thought. So many things had happened to him, you could even argue that he was feeling slightly lost and helpless (not depressed) because he was utterly defeated. The motivation and drive he had in pre-timeskip was shattered- Until Luffy arrived of course. When Luffy arrived, he was battered and bruised but he was still ready to fight. Kid, who saw how Luffy still had his fighting spirit, was somehow inspired to keep on fighting. It's almost as if Luffy is Kid's drive to be stronger.

So, what does this all say about Kid?

I think that this makes his character believable as it can represent real life. There are some points in our lives where we could be the greatest but, sometimes, life can be pretty cruel too. If you get too cocky or overconfident, the world will punish you. I saw a comment that says Kid is Luffy but without the plot armour. That is very true. Kid isn't perfect. He made tons of crappy decisions and dealt which the consequences. I'd say he's as reckless as Luffy, perhaps LESS reckless than Luffy but he suffers more than Luffy does. While Luffy could bask in glory, all Kid got was the short end of the stick. I think that is the reason why I find Kid such an appealing character- because its an accurate representation of real life. Sometimes you can try as hard as someone else but you won't always get the spolight.

The other appealing aspect is his persistence. He made mistakes and bad decisions but he knows that he can't undo them and has to move on. Kid isn't as lucky as Luffy because he didn't have someone like Rayleigh to train him so, he had to put in more effort somehow. The main point is, he had to learn everything the hard way. Yet, he still strives to be the best which is very befitting of a rival character.

3. interactions & Personality

Another thing I frequently see when people Kid and Luffy is that: People say that while Kid makes enemies, Luffy makes allies which is why he has so much support from others around him. I was thinking about this a lot and I can't help but disgaree. I saw another post where they mentioned Kid's MBTI personality is INFJ which made me think even more about that statement. From here on, I will include several headcanons about his character as well.

Let me offer you a different perspective. Perhaps Kid isn't good at expressing his feelings. The way he speaks may come off as cold which makes other people dislike him because they think he is rude whereas he simply doesn't know how to communicate with others very well. Luffy is no doubt an extrovert, seeing how he is easily able to interact with others. Kid on the other hand, if he is an introvert, it could be an explaination to why he doesn't have many interactions with others. I don't see him as someone who's very 'sociable'. So he could experience some difficulty when communicating his feelings. He's shown to be closer to his crew more than anyone else. He is deeply respected by his crewmates because he is sensitive to their needs as well. He isn't the tyrant that everyone paints him to be, he earned that respect by first respecting his crewmates. Also, he would essentially DIE for any of his crewmates. This part is quite self explainatory if you've read the chapter where they revealed what happened to Kid and Killer in Wano.

I just want to add that while Killer suffered so much in Wano, imagine how much it hurt Kid to see his first mate suffer and how he couldn't do anything about it. The expression on his face is perfectly the anger he had towards Kaido, Apoo and more importantly, HIMSELF for not being strong enough. Yet, people call him heartless though he would literally die for Killer.

But anyways, Kid is an excellent listener and he cares very deeply for people he is close to. I just think he's bad at communicating. Look at the way he talks to Luffy. In Wano, you can see how Kid actually does LIKE Luffy as a rival. He just has trouble expressing himself. Anyways, this is just a headcanon but I think that he's rather sensitive to other's feelings- Especially when it comes to his crew. I really like the idea that he's an INFJ because he seems more like the 'advocate' type of character. I still think he makes a very good leader but his approach would contrast Luffy's.

4. Intelligence

I could probaly go on forever about why I love Kid but this is another thing that I see about Kid and kind of annoys me. I'm not sure why everyone seems to think he's a dumbass. Like REALLY. I think he's pretty intelligent. He even kept tabs on the whole SMILE situation and Doflamingo and planned the alliance. He IS intelligent but his recklessness just makes him seem like an idiot.

Kid isn't perfect, he is flawed just like a real human being would be. By no means is he a GOOD person but I don't think he is as 'cruel' or 'bad' as people paint him to be. He cares a lot for his crew. He is very driven by his own personal values and he wouldn't 'change' for anyone. He believes in himself and if anyone tells him otherwise, he would simply beat them up. He isn't happy go lucky like Luffy, he is much deeper than that. He would consider his options and plan- to a certain extent because he is also quite idealistic. Hence, the reason why I feel like his character is such an interesting one is because there is a lot of opportunity for him to grow and stray away from stereotypical anime character traits. His character is believable because his personality is realistic, it could reflect a real human being.

TLDR: Stop sleeping on Kid.

With that, thanks for coming to my ted talk.

Anyways, that's it for now! I'll make a part 2 if I feel like I want to add something. If people like this, I'll consider making another analysis for other characters. Currently I have Law, Ace and Sabo planned in mind but we'll see how it goes.

Thanks for reading!

[arr-jim-lad]

so, why /is/ Joshu good actually and doesn't deserve all the hate he gets?

Because the hate comes mostly from the people who are incapable of empathizing with what’s honestly a really pitiable person. They only see the negatives and don’t question why he acts like he does. Also, he’s brave AF.

And don’t get me wrong: there ARE negatives. Joshu is by no means a completely misunderstood good person, he’s kind of a scumbag, but so are most JoJo characters. And yet, people apparently just love to hate Joshu specifically.

When I started reading Jojolion, I initially couldn’t help but just feel bad for the guy, because I realized what he struggles with, and how it affects him as a person who’s honestly just trying his best most of the time.

Here’s the big thing that I think puts a LOT in perspective:

Joshu is essentially the prime example of the neglected middle child. He has an older brother who is his father’s pride and joy, an older sister who is a successful model, and a younger, blind sister who everyone coddles. Norisuke is very loving and playful with his daughters and very chummy with his older son, but Joshu never really gets the same loving treatment.

Instead, Joshu is seen treated sternly and unfairly by his brother and father, who both just seem annoyed by his presence. It’s very, painfully clear to me that this is something that makes Joshu extremely insecure, as it can be easily observed from his facial expressions. For example, here’s him when Josuke is given his usual space on family photographs;

He’s shown shivering when Norisuke yells at him, and standing next to his father clearly means a lot to him, but his feelings are not taken into account at all.

This clearly causes him a lot of stress, as he is already insecure about his position in the family, and it makes PERFECT SENSE for him to feel threatened by Josuke, who immediately gained his father’s love, respect, and support. 

This kind of behavior towards Joshu is seen again during the beetle battle arc with Jobin, who belittles him several times in a short amount of time, and orders him to cheer for Josuke (threatening him with violence if he won’t), despite Joshu clearly not liking Josuke for reasons that I really can’t judge him for.

And Joshu always obliges.

Mind you - this is not the behavior they have towards Joshu ALL the time, but Joshu is the only Higashikata kid we see getting this kind of treatment.

Joshu, to me, comes across as someone who is absolutely starved for validation from his brother and father, but he never gets it. Instead, he’s constantly pushed around and belittled by them, and treated as an annoyance. A stranger in their home is being given more care and respect than the son.

It just felt really really hard to me to watch what I feel was sadly a fairly realistic depiction of how some children in larger families just don’t get the same amount of love and support as others.

Okay, now I’ll tackle some of the biggest things that people point at when they try to claim that Joshu is a terrible character;

He's a “nice guy” and is possessive over Yasuho who's not interested

He tried to r*pe Yasuho (I’ll say it right here and now: This is a COMPLETE AND UTTER misrepresentation of the events that transpired)

He assaulted Kaato

When we start Jojolion, Joshu has a mistaken impression that him and Yasuho are a couple. That assumption is not completely groundless on his part, because both him and Yasuho confirm that they DID kiss, so you really can’t blame him for having a certain idea of a relationship.

When first seeing Josuke and Yasuho, Joshu gets the wrong idea and believes that Josuke was at the very least being extremely inappropriate to Yasuho, with him being naked and all. He immediately tries to save her by attacking him.

Joshu is indeed very possessive of Yasuho and while that’s not something that can be excused, we CAN track down to the reason why he acts that way, and that reason once again goes back to him being neglected by his family.

It looks to me like Yasuho remained his friend because she pitied him, as she off-handedly acknowledges how poorly socialized he is;

If his father and brother cared to give him a better example and lead him, he would probably be less of a creep. Instead, all he had was his confused feelings, the entitlement that come from being raised in a rich family, and no one to teach him how to properly behave - mind you that he also grew up without a mother.

The reason he clings to Yasuho as much as he does is very likely because she gave him the empathy that he feels like he lacks at home. She’s essentially his comfort person.

I think it’s also important to point out that Joshu is not possessive of Yasuho in an objectifying manner - he genuinely cares for her and wants to protect her. That doesn’t excuse some of his actions of course, but I think it’s still fair to acknowledge it.

Next, the r*pe accusation, and context is EVERYTHING here.

Here’s what happened to lead up to the so-called r*pe attempt, and this includes spoilers for the Paper Moon King arc (Vol.6, Chapers 23-25)

Yasuho was attacked by a stand that made everyone look the same to her, and was unable to tell one person from the other. She called Josuke for help, but while waiting for him, she ran into Joshu.

What followed was a whole slew of statements that Joshu TERRIBLY misinterpreted, as his thirsty unsocialized ass tends to do.

One thing leads to another and Joshu takes off his pants - at which point Yasuho realized that he’s not Josuke, at which point she screams Josuke’s name, and Joshu practically freezes in place, the gears in his head probably starting to turn a bit. And then Yasuho knocks him out and that’s where that ends.

I’d say that Joshu was definitely over-eager to get into Yasuho’s pants, but he only did what he thought she wanted, and I believe that if he wasn’t knocked out when he was, he would probably back off once the mistake was acknowledged. Joshu did not want to r*pe Yasuho. That was NEVER his intent.

Joshu is someone who’s entitled, but he’s not evil.

Last thing I see people point to when shit talking Joshu is his harassment of Kaato, and honestly, I am shocked that people are even remotely able to misinterpret that scene, which does nothing but show how protective Joshu is of his family, and how quick he is to defend them.

The following is a spoiler of Vol.14, Chapter 58.

We see the mother of the Higashikata family return after being imprisoned for 15 years for killing a child. She is a murderer and enters the house uninvited, possibly while everyone else was still sleeping.

This is how Norisuke, the father, reacts:

To reiterate:

The father is so startled by the presence of this woman, that he screams and falls on the ground with shock. He then proceeds to yell at her, demanding for her to get out. She doesn’t.

The convicted murderer then proceeds to walk towards Daiya, the youngest daughter, and that’s when Joshu immediately takes action.

He trips Kaato with a chair and then proceeds to speak to her with a very clear intent to try to make her leave.

Is what he said inappropriate? Abso-fucking-lutely. But that was the INTENT.

I genuinely don’t understand why people think this is something that proves that Joshu is a terrible person when what he’s doing is honestly really damn brave.

Think back to how Norisuke reacted to Kaato. For what Joshu knew, she could’ve had an extremely dangerous ability, but he jumped in to stop her from reaching his little sister anyway.

One last thing, and this is a spoiler for some of the most recent chapters of Jojolion; the Endless Calamity arc (Vol.24, chapter 95)

I want to point out one more extremely brave thing Joshu has done; He saved Yasuho’s life while once again possibly putting his own life in danger.

Here’s the scene: Joshu and his sisters just watched his older brother possibly murder their father during a heated confrontation and a clash of ideals.

During this, Yasuho is currently dying. Her stand is trapped in a cellphone, and not close enough to an electrical socket to escape. Jobin had FULL INTENT to kill her. But then this scene happens;

The phone is suddenly by the socket, and Paisley Park got to escape. We never see it being moved, but there is a panel specifically directing our attention to Joshu’s foot.

Someone moved the phone to let Paisley Park escape, and all signs point to that being Joshu.

Again - Joshu, who just watched his brother possibly murder his father, and who had fully attempted murdering his friend. From what Joshu was concerned, nothing would stop Jobin from killing him as well.

Joshu has flaws. He’s entitled, he’s annoying and he’s creepy. He’s also very stupid and very naive at times.

But there are also reasons for why he turned out this way, and those reasons are just.. plainly sad. I can’t help but to pity this character and just hope the best for him, because he deserves to feel loved by someone because he’s not a bad person.

Personally, I think Joshu is a really interesting character and I thoroughly enjoyed every most moments featuring him, especially interacting with his family, because their relationships come across very realistic and lovable (minus the times Joshu is unfairly belittled).

He’s also a really funny character whose ideas, thoughts, and opinions and just a delight to read every time he gets to just act casually.

PS - his hairstyle is great and y’all are just mean

[maryibgarry102]

Okay I need to rant for a second.

Steven Universe may have been very progressive as a series in regards to representation, especially for the LGBT community, but that doesn't mean it doesn't have issues as a series and that it is somehow wrong to critique it

Like they took Peridot, a smart, well-developed autistic-coded character and then later dumbed down her character a ton, having her and Lapis become nothing but comic relief. To see Peridot's character get diminished so heavily was super upsetting, and I should be able to say that without someone being like "but..the gay wedding? good?" Like to have the most neurodivergent character be put into the "stupid, comedic relief" stereotype of autistic people is horribly upsetting and annoying.

And then they handled the topic of abuse poorly in the case of Jasper and Lapis; they were both abusive to each other and it was awful, but they made out Lapis to be this poor victim despite her also abusing Jasper. Not to mention she's a dick later on; like she literally stole the barn, which was not only her home but Peridot's too, and then abandoned them, only to magically come back later when it was convenient to the plot. But like is this really addressed? No because "oh but she's sad so it's okay" like no bitch being upset doesn't ever justify being a bad person

Oh and the diamonds! Remember when Blue Diamond was a metaphor for homophobia and literally wanted to kill Ruby and Sapphire just for accidentally fusing? And then they reintroduced her as sad and depressed over Pink, just an innocent sad lady DESPITE HER BEING AN INTERGALACTIC DICTATOR? Remember how the Diamonds are literally intergalactic dictators that destroy planets, subjugate and oppress gems, have all of the Pearls be "fancy servants" (essentially slaves, like we had the whole "i don't belong to anyone!" with Pearl like come on), murder gems for breaking status quo, took the shattered remains of millions of gems murdered BY THEM in the war on Earth and then fused them together to make a super weapon like a horrific, cruel experiment? Oh and this is all brushed off! They literally said "but intergalactic fascist dictators are people too!!!" Like yes, they are, but they're intergalactic fascist dictators. The fact that their characters were redeemed, and redeemed so quickly too, was absolute bullshit. And they literally make jokes?? Like there was a joke with Steven and Yellow Diamond like "what did we say yellow? What did we say to do? uwu" then yellow's like "ugh, not be all militaristic.." or something along those lines like HOW DOES THAT NOT BOTHER MORE PEOPLE

Also, the handling of the characters who are coded as POC sometimes displays racist stereotypes! My biggest issue with this is in how the show handled Sugilite, and this was within the first season, even. They displayed the fusion of Amethyst and Garnet, the two characters coded as POC, as monstrous, violent, aggressive, and out of control, only for Pearl, the white-coded character, to have the ~grace and mind~ to stop them from wreaking havoc. The fact that more people weren't upset or bothered by that always stressed me the fuck out. Even if it wasn't intended in that way, it's still problematic as it can have harmful implications about women of color, especially considering one of the biggest, most harmful stereotypes against them is that they're violent and out of control. Not to mention that they had a HUMAN ZOO in the show; I know this was a big, BIG issue for people of color because human zoos were A REAL THING; BIPOC were literally put into zoos and treated like animals in history for white people's entertainment. To have this show make a human zoo and then in the creation of it think "we tried to include as many hot people as possible" (yes that was legitimately something a creator said, though i don't think it was Sugar), how can you not be upset by the lack of nuance or care in handling a topic that has such a grave history for people of color? And then you have Bismuth, coded as a POC; she literally said "I want to fight back against the diamonds, intergalactic dictators who have oppressed myself and others for years and years" only for Steven and the show to say "but fighting back against the oppressors makes you just as bad as them" and you know how fucking stupid and awful that statement is. Then, they literally bubbled her and forgot about her for a while. Like, what the hell.

I do digress, SU does have a lot of diversity and positive representation, but these kinds of bad things should NOT be brushed over and justified because there is some good representation. And the amount of times I've seen POC be upset about the racism in the show and then have to deal with white people telling them "but the show has done so much for representation. Especially for the lgbt community! We shouldn't criticize media that's done so much for us" is absolutely ridiculous!!!

Us white people should NEVER brush off the concerns or upset that BIPOC have over media and it's negative representation/messages; BIPOC should be listened to, and when they say there's an issue, do NOT ignore them, do NOT imply they're in the wrong or shouldn't be calling creators out on their bullshit. A show might have good qualities, it might have some good representation, but marginalized communities calling out issues in media that hurt them and spread harmful messages shouldn't be ignored or silenced. EVER. STOP DOING THAT

anyways thanks for coming to my TEDtalk

[creatingnikki]

things I did for my mental health in the last one year

Let myself be petty and selfish and impolite. Not in a lasting way that makes me a horrible person. But in situations that absolutely called for it for I was dealing with petty, selfish and impolite people. An eye for an eye may make the world blind, but I'm done offering my other cheek when they have already slapped the first one.

Not made art an imposition. Did I set the number of books I want to read in 2019 to 50 on Goodreads? Yes. Am I pushing myself to do that or hating myself for not doing that? Hell no. Did I download the Inktober 2019 prompt list and buy myself a sketch journal for it? Yes! And I am illustrating but not every day because art is not supposed to be a task on my to-do list. It's supposed to be a window away from my chaotic life. And it's okay to keep that window shut if it's only going add more chaos. We can open and close it as many times as we want. It's hinges are strong, it won't break or complain. It will always only welcome you.

you must forgive him. you must forget him. you must think of him as a monster. you must find him one day and slap him across his face. You shouldn't breathe a about what happened. You should tell everyone what he did. you shouldn’t smile when you think of your time together.  Let myself feel what I feel. Those memories are a part of your life and if one day you think about the day you kissed for the first time and smile because you were such a cute teenager with the kind of thoughts and feelings you had, that’s completely fucking okay. If you remember your bright green sneakers with the white laces that you didn’t know how to tie until you were 16 and smile because it reminds you of all the things you should have known by 22 - like driving - and it calms you because you realise, sometimes you’re just a late bloomer. you will feel whatever you will feel. And yes, while sometimes it’s extremely essential to monitor that - like when you’re indulging in negative self talk - other times? don’t stop yourself. 

Understood that while mental health and physical health are two different things, you cannot ignore the fact that they are linked. Getting out of your bed and going out for a walk will not solve all your problems or kiss your fears and anxiety away. But it will let the sun shine on your skin, it will let your hair feel the breeze and if you’re lucky enough to live near the sea or catch the sky at a glorious time, you will be reminded that the universe is SO MUCH BIGGER and your room/home and all the problems that lace it.

the cover of ‘touch’ by Sleeping At Last will always make you feel sad but that’s okay because the HIMYM cover of ‘la vie en rose’ will always make you feel hopeful. these feelings never stay but always recur. That's just how humans exist. That's okay.

Learning that when someone consistently behaves in a shitty, bitchy, annoying or stupid manner, it’s actually a good thing. they are actually being consistent with their behaviour. it’s no surprise, it’s so very predictable and you can’t be mad at someone for being true to their personality. Am I right?

Not followed through with plans. And stopped replying to texts. I used to put all this pressure on myself to be a person of my words and well, I am. But when that guy from your previous work place keeps asking you out on a date in the most indirect but persistent way, it's okay to ignore him after you've been patiently polite for quite sometime. And when that friend doesn't reply to your texts for days because they don't want to hear about negative things and expect you to pretend like you're not stressed or in pain and talk about happy things with them, you have the pass to say fuck you to them in your head and ignore their existence for a while before you feel like talking to them again.

Being okay with not having everyone at work be friendly with me. I'm kind and smart and warm and cheerful but that doesn't mean that everyone will like me. Maybe for these very reasons many won't like me. Also, I can be shy and have a resting bitch face because my shyness is accompanied with confidence and not nervousness which may make people uncomfortable. What I'm trying to say is that I'm learning to be okay with having some people who will ignore my existence and not reciprocate my positive vibes.

[mobilenotary]

Making a Living in the Cell Notary General public Business

You have possibly observed many ads that entice one particular to grow to be a notary community, or bank loan signing agent. These advertisements proclaim the area to be be rewarding, operate when you want, choose your work, have time for the kids, and many others. Whilst originally these might sound enticing, at present there are numerous concerns one particular ought to ponder just before producing the soar. Whilst at one time, currently being a mobile notary signing agent was a great idea, times have changed dramatically. This is mainly caused by our failing housing marketplace and financial system. mobile notary The housing business is in dyer problems. Several of the firms that create, market, service, and supply home loans for the housing industry are experiencing closure. If you know any home loan brokers, just think for a moment - "Are they operating and doing wonderful?". " Have they moved on to a diverse profession?". If you know any this kind of people, you will most likely reply "Sure". What does that point out? Nicely the identical difficulties experiencing these individuals are also facing mobile notary signing brokers. Given that the housing market dry up, there are couple of individuals purchasing home, and almost no one particular is refinancing. As a end result, cellular notary signing brokers are struggling as there are no loans to signal. The cellular notaries that are all around are decreasing their expenses to motivate business throughout a time when gas prices are at their all time substantial. Spending more to make much less. Financial loan signings have turn into quite scarce. The spend for the accessible signings is really reduced, many supplying $fifty a signing. When you contemplate the time it takes to obtain and print the paperwork, two copies of the bank loan bundle, make the appointment, indicator the files with the borrower, put together and fall of the paperwork at a courier services, invoice the escrow firm, and then hold out for the payment which generally normally takes a month - to several, it really is no for a longer time worth the hard work. One more thought in getting to be a notary is the yearly cost. If you choose to market your personal web site consider domain cost, annually web hosting charge (about $100), mobile cellphone usage, annually glitches and omissions insurance ($150 or far more), and then there is advertising and marketing that should be ongoing. Since business is gradual for most, numerous notaries fall prey to the "notary listing" organization. These companies guarantee far more publicity and therefore far more enterprise for notaries general public when they signal on to their directory. Expenses associated with listing in a directory can be as little as $19.ninety five for the calendar year upwards to $100 a month. And it does not stop there, as listing in one listing never ever would seem to be adequate. There is a notary community close to us that is listed in almost each listing on the world wide web. This author is just surprised at the quantity of funds this gal must be shelling out every single month! Undoubtedly at a minimum $300. This writer did utilize advertising and marketing on a notable notary listing web site for a single yr as an experiment. The value of advertising on that listing in the prime situation was $600. They promised a lot improved company calls. It in no way occurred and the $600 was spent. Sure there are several firms that will take your funds for the promise of elevated business. 1 particularly annoying directory website, has the customer signal put up there supplying cost for a particular notary work. That produces a blanket electronic mail to all notaries in the area so that they can bid on the work. What this requires is that you are at your laptop and waiting, and then making use of your mobile mobile phone to call the prospective client only to hear that your cost did not conquer the previous notary caller's cost. How irritating for the consumer, not to point out the squander of time and income for the unsuccessful notary. There is another web site the place the consumer can press a button that will automatically call your listing on that notary directory internet site. If you do not reply the mobile phone immediately, you may be truly with a paying out customer, that potential client is even now at the internet site and can go down the listing to the next notary to find somebody that will response right away. Yikes! How nerve racking for the notary and the consumer. An additional untrue assumption linked with notary community work is that you can pick your hours or jobs. Properly....that is not precisely accurate. If you want to perform as a cellular notary community, you must actually do the assignments when the consumer requirements you. This means 9:00 am, when the little ones are at university OR nine:00 pm at evening when you typically place the kids to bed. If there is a time when you are not accessible for that shopper and they have to phone a person else, guess who they will get in touch with the subsequent time they require a cell notary? Your correct.... the notary community that they can count on currently being obtainable when they essential them. Now this writer does not mean to be all negative about the mobile notary general public signing organization, it truly is just that it is sad to see individuals get so enthusiastic about the possibility of moving into into a new job with sky large hopes only to be sorely let down by the actualities that the vast businesses marketing the assure of profitable notary operate will not inform you. If this is your heart's need and what you aspire to be, then do your leg operate and figure out the fees, the amount of time, and what other notaries have to about company in your location. Be reasonable. If you do not intend to spend a day-to-day hour on your notary site, or you do not know how to design and search motor optimize a site, never count on a site to provide you organization. If you count on notary directories to entirely deliver you organization, then you are in for grave disappointment. It may be the only individuals making money in this market these times are the people managing the notary directories Business Name: Means Notary Services Address: 1016 82nd Street South Birmingham, AL 35206 Email: meansnotaryservices@gmail.com Phone Number: 2053860414

[marvinswriting]

Air Pressure

Prompt: Janis and Damian hurt/comfort bc sometimes Janis feels sad for no reason😳😳😳 We said A N G S T 😳 (except I also added nice Regina bc it's my fic and I can do what I want.)

It's just one of those days where everything hits hard I guess. 

I saw a post somewhere that said if there was no air pressure, rain would fall all at once in a thick sheet of water and kill us.

I don't know how accurate that is, but it's pretty representative of how my day is going.

Instead of getting hit with negative sparingly throughout the day with positive things to regulate it, there is no positive, and my emotions just hit me like a wall. 

Which is fucking great when you're sitting in English class.

The perfect time to just, break down is while you learn about The Raven, I guess.

I raise my hand to ask to leave the room, earning a sharp glare from my teacher when he has to stop reading to pick on me.

"May I go to the bathroom?" I ask, my voice wavering. 

He must pick up on it because he just nods.

I scoop up my bag and run out of the room. Its the first of my three tiny periods in a row and then I have a class with just Damian before I can go home. That's four periods to long.

I make my way into the school's tiny bathroom and pull myself into the back stall. I cover my mouth to muffle a sob, I don't really know why I'm crying, but the overwhelming sinking feeling in my chest won't disappear. 

I hear high heels clicking as they walk into the bathroom. "Janis? I saw you run in here."

I guess dying for 15 seconds really does change a person because Regina had been working hard to be my friend again. I don't know if we're 'watching each other have breakdowns' close yet. 

"I know you're here Jan. You can't hide from me." 

Well, that's mildly threatening. 

I freeze as footsteps approach the stall I'm in. 

Regina knocks on the door but it just slowly swings open, revealing me sitting next to the toilet, curled up.

Stupid broken locks.

"Oh, Janis." Regina crouched down next to me. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head. "Nothing specific, just sad, I guess."

Regina nods. "I know the feeling. And that's okay." She looks like she has more to say, but doesn't.

She simply steps into the stall with me and slides down the wall opposite of me.

This feels like the start of a bad porno.

We sit in silence for a bit and I have to admit, Regina's presence is actually really comforting. 

I try to slow the tears since somebody else is here, but Regina doesn't comment. She simply reaches across the small space between us and rests her hand on my knee comfortingly.

I give a teary-eyed smile at the action.

"Thanks." I say softly, "but you need to get back to class."

"I do," Regina agrees. "But I'm not leaving you to have a breakdown alone in the bathroom." She pauses for a moment, as if considering something. "Pass me your phone."

"What?"

"Today clearly isn't your day, you're not doing too hot and shouldn't be left alone, but, you're right- I gotta go to class. Let me text Damian."

"I'm not dragging him out of class because I can't get my emotions in check." I say glumly.

Regina tsks and grabs my bag, pulling my phone out despite my protests.

"Really, Janis? Same password since middle school?"

"I don't normally have people trying to go through my phone," I say, but I don't have the energy to fight Regina about texting Damian. "He's trying to get an education, yknow. Don't bother him." I say, but trying the change Regina Geroge's mind is futile. 

"I may not know Damian personally  but he seems like the type of person who wants to know when his friends are hurting." Regina says typing away on my phone. 

I hear it ding instantly and I wipe my eyes. 

Regina place my phone back in my bag, seemingly happy with whatever response she got before standing up and holding out her arm as an offer to help me up.

I take it.

"Let's go. Regina says pulling me up.

"Where?" I glance down at our hands, she didn't let go, instead, she opted to dragging me down the hall.

"To meet Damian, duh."

The closer we get to tiny pick up zone the more my stomach twists. 

I frown, now he's gonna worry about me and not go to class and that's my fault and-

"Hey, Janis." Regina stops suddenly. "If you don't want to see Damian we don't have to, I'm sorry I texted him."

What? Oh. I'm crying again.

"No, its- I'm fine. I just-"

"You don't have to explain yourself." Regina pulls me into a hug. It's tense, we really aren't at the whole helping each other emotionally part. But its also my first real hug from another tiny in a while. 

So I'll take it.

It feels nice, being able to return as much as I receive in a hug. 

My face just feels permanently wet today, it really is one of those days.

Like everything is getting triggered by period hormones minus the cramps and blood. 

We continue our walk to where the giant hall meets the tiny hall and see Damian already there.

"Hey, Damian," Regina says, passing me my backpack.

I wave to him, and the second Damian registers the tears on my face, I'm being scooped up and held to his chest without a word.

"Thanks, Regina." He says.

I grip onto his shirt, willing the tears not so spillover.

"Of course, Damian. I know Karen or Gretchen would want somebody to do it for me."

I'm to busy with my face is Damian's shirt and my eyes squeezed shut to see Regina walk away, but just as I heard her coming, I can hear the clicking of her heels grow distant. 

Damian doesn't pull me away, he just holds me there for a bit, not saying anything.

I can feel him rocking on his heels a bit, and if its a method of soothing me- it's working. 

After a while, I think I stop crying. Keyword is think. My whole face is still damp but I let go of his shirt and push away a bit. Damian takes the hint and pulls his hands back, letting me fall into his palms.

"What's got you worked up?" He asks. His eyes are swimming with concern and guilt hits me hard.

If I could just be a bit better at dealing with my shit Damian would be learning in class as students should. 

"I don't-" I take a breath. "I don't know."

Damian nods. "That's okay." 

I nod. Its something Regina had said earlier and something I had heard many times before. But hearing it from Damian felt like the most reassuring thing in the world.

I try not to sniffle. "You have a class to go back to. You can put me down."

Damian shook his head. "Hon, the bell is gonna ring any second, we've been standing here for a while. And I'm not letting you go back to class when you're clearly tired and not in a great mental space."

The bell is gonna ring?

Wow.

"You can't skip class, Damian," I say, standing up on his palms. 

"I won't be the one skipping."

"Huh?"

Oh.

Before I can even protest, Im boing shifted into one hand, Damian already using the other to clip the white pin on his jacket.

"Are you sure? I don't wanna be annoying or get in your way or anything. You already do so much for me and I just don't wanna be a bother, its just one bad day I can hide in the bathroom again I’ll be fine-" Before I know it, words are just tumbling out of my mouth. "Cuz like, I'm tiny and I can't do anything myself and I don't want to be a nuisance or-"

"Janis."

"Yeah?"

"You're not annoying or a nuisance or getting in the way."

"Okay." I say softly, looking down.

Damian chuckles. "I like having you in my pockets. It's a reassurance that you're safe."

I feel my face flush under the love and care. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah."

The bell rings and Damian pulls me close to his chest as student file out of classrooms.

Its the hallway so there's no need to hide me yet, but it's dangerous as always. I press my back against Damian's chest as I watch students pass us. Some notice me, others don't. Most could care less. 

I watch Shane Omen pass with Aaron on his shoulder. Aaron is gripping onto Shane's shirt as tight as possible, and it brings me a small bit of reassurance to know I'm not the only tiny with hallway anxiety.

Damian makes it to his classroom and wordlessly slips me into his pocket. He taps the pocket lightly, which I’ll never understand why he does it, and goes on with his education as he normally would. 

Skipping three classes is gonna be a bitch to explain to my parents, but I would rather explain this to them then go to class crying.

Damian's heart beats steadily to my right as I hear his teacher begin talking.

Yeah, there are bad days where it feels like the sheet of rain is slamming into me, killing me on the spot, but I'll always have Damian to be my air pressure to regulate the droplets.

Its a common thing in my fics, but don't skip class bbys, learning is essential

tag list: @musicallygt @sourishlemons @smallsoysauce @realmisspolarbear

[kategrainger]

Suggested Solutions for Those Who Struggle with Self-Love

Happiness can be a fleeting thing, especially if you’re tired or over stressed. Today in this busy world it is ever more important to take the time for self care.

Neglecting and ignoring your needs is not noble. It’s not a badge that you should wear proudly. Putting everything and everyone else above your physical, mental, emotional or spiritual health is a sign of martyrdom, low self-esteem, and workaholism. It is not selflessness or a good work ethic.

We need to teach ourselves how to care for our needs. Why? Because no one else is going to do it for us!

Self-care means taking steps to look after yourself and your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs.

Self-care starts with the acknowledgment that you are responsible for your wellbeing.

Self-care is an integral part of self-love which is the practice of being kind and compassionate towards yourself.

Here are signs to identify warning signs that you are neglecting self-care:

• Constant tiredness and fatigue • Irritability (little things annoy you) • Poor sleep quality • Muscle tension • Chronic illnesses (e.g. colds, flu, infections) • Anxiety and worry • Paranoia • Neglecting family or friend time • Obsessive rumination (mind won’t shut off) • Constant low-grade depression • More dread than excitement • Disconnection from your body • No time to do what makes you happy • All work and no play • Feelings of emptiness • Negative and self-sabotaging thoughts • Low self-worth and insecurity

There can be many other signs, but determining if you experience any of the above is a good place to start.

Why are we resistant to self-care?

You’ve probably heard it before. “I’m too busy to do that,” “I have too much on my plate right now,” “I’m inundated with work.” I’ve been guilty of using these banal excuses more than once, let me assure you!

Self-care, to many people, is also unfortunately associated with selfishness. There is an old and outdated perception that taking care of your needs first equals being self-centred. How are we able to take care of others if we cannot take care of ourselves?

Poor self-esteem is another reason why some people are resistant to self-care. The belief that “I’m not worth it” is so pervasive in our society that it’s an epidemic. Inevitably, poor self-worth results in self-neglect, sometimes even as a form of self-punishment. So I encourage you to practise the self-care ideas below. The more you incorporate them into your life, the better you will feel about who you are - at a core level.

Self-care suggestions for those struggling with self-love

If you struggle with stress, feelings of being overwhelmed, a mind that just won’t turn off, grapple with low motivation, negative mindsets, self-defeating habits, tend to be cynical, neurotic or highly-strung … this list is for you.

The best advice I can give you is to take it one step at a time. Don’t rush. The advice presented below is the work of a lifetime – not the work of a week. So be realistic and do the best you can.

Self-Care Ideas for the Body

1. Sit somewhere in nature. Feel relaxed by the scenery, the fresh air, and the birds singing.

2. Have a soothing bath. Put some essential oil in the bath to unwind and let go.

3. Take a deep mindful breath. Oxygenate your body, reduce the tension, and refresh your energy.

4. Have a nap. Find a comfy place and drift off into dream time. Set a timer if you’re worried about sleeping too much.

5. Make yourself some delicious food. Eat a tasty salad. Cook some comfort food. Make something just for you.

6. Dance to your favourite song. Get in touch with your playful side and enjoy a good workout while you’re at it!

7. Drink some herbal tea. Make yourself a soothing brew with whatever tea you have lying around. If you like experimenting, try holy basil, damiana, chamomile, and lavender.

8. Give yourself a massage. There are many self-massage techniques which you can easily find online that require nothing but your hands. For a deep tissue massage, you can use an old tennis ball and roll out the kinks in your muscles.

9. Eat your leafy greens every day. Nourish your body with the vitamins and minerals found in leafy greens like spinach, broccoli, and kale. If you don’t like the taste, add them to your smoothie or soup.

10. Take a walk in the sun. Get some vitamin D. Clear your mind. You’ll be exercising while you’re at it.

11. Create a physical space that nurtures your wellbeing. Get rid of the clutter, dirt, and dust around you. Create order in your environment as this will create more order in your mind.

Self-Care Ideas for the Heart

12. Give yourself a big hug. Stand somewhere quiet and hug yourself. Feel held and comforted.

13. Have a good laugh. Watch or read something entertaining even if that means a silly video of baby goats in pyjamas on YouTube.

14. Have a good cry. Let out all your feelings. Watch a sad movie. Have a tissue box and a blanket to snuggle in handy.

15. Show gratitude. Find something to be thankful for in your life.

16. Look at yourself through the eyes of a loving parent. Be the best mother or father to yourself that you could possibly be. Treat your inner child with love, gentleness, and respect.

17. Say kind words to yourself. When you’re angry, sad or scared, gently tell yourself, “It’s OK,” “I understand,” “I forgive you,” “You can do this,” “I believe in you.”

18. Learn how to self-soothe. Feeling anxious or upset is normal. Find little rituals or practices that make you feel calm such as drinking a cup of cocoa, heating up a hot pack, listening to music, colouring-in, or cuddling a soft toy.

19. Go on a date with yourself. Go somewhere special and spend a day with yourself. Spend time thinking about the qualities you most love and appreciate in yourself.

20. Check in with your heart. Regularly explore how you’re feeling on an emotional level. Does something feel uncomfortable or wrong? What emotions are currently dominating your inner landscape? By gently acknowledging these emotions you’ll be able to practice self-care.

21. Spend time around people that support you. Find people who believe in and uplift you. Keep away from those who seek to drag you down and infect your life with negativity.

Self-Care Ideas for the Mind

22. Feed and expand your mind. Learn something new. Read up on different topics and open your mind to new perspectives. Enrich your understanding of the world.

23. Journal and self-reflect. Record your journey with self-care and write down your key discoveries. Reflect on your progress and feel proud.

24. Still your mind. Find a way to calm your mind each day. Meditation or mindfulness are two excellent practices. Pay attention to the present moment and get out of your thoughts.

25. Take a break from social media. Clear the stream of your mind for a few days. Give yourself a break from the comparison, egotism, and drama that stems from social media. Delete social media apps from your phone and spend time doing something else.

26. Create a routine for your day. The mind thrives with structure. Create clarity and order by setting in place clear habits and routines. Just ensure that you are flexible and allow these structures to shift and evolve through time as need be.

27. Create an achievements folder. Whether on your computer or in a physical folder, set aside a place where you can record all of your proudest moments. What obstacles have you overcome? What projects have you completed? What struggles have you managed to learn from? Record all of your successes to reflect on when you’re in a funk or feeling like a failure.

28. Simplify your to-do list. Ask yourself, “What is actually necessary?” Identify the things on your mental (or physical) to do list that are wasting space. Not everything is vital or important to do. Minimising what you have to get done can reduce a tremendous amount of stress. Use a technique such as the Eisenhower Matrix to assess what is vital vs. unimportant.

29. Put your phone on airplane mode. Airplane mode stops all calls, texts, and annoying distractions from interfering with your life. Free yourself temporarily each day from the mental slavery of perpetually checking your phone. For example, after 6 pm take a ‘mini holiday’ from your phone until the next morning.

30. Set yourself small, manageable goals. Set yourself one or two major things you want to accomplish each day that will bring you a sense of success or fulfilment. This could be as simple as cooking a nice meal to as big as writing a chapter in your book. Simply feeling like you’ve achieved one of your goals is a wonderful feeling that you can experience daily!

31. Do something outside of your comfort zone. Even if that means going a new route to work or walking your dog along a new street! Enjoy the sense of self-confidence and empowerment that comes from knowing you can do something a bit uncomfortable and different.

32. Set clear boundaries. Stand up for yourself and say “no” even if your voice shakes. Set clear limits on your time and energy. Safeguarding your energy is a form of self-care and self-respect. Give energy only to that which you consciously agree to invite into your life.

Self-Care Ideas for the Soul

33. Light a candle and watch the shifting light. Indulge in some relaxation with a scented candle. Watch the flickering of the light against the wall and connect with your inner self.

34. Ask for help and guidance.If you’re feeling confused, lost, sad, stressed or depressed, reach out to someone. Asking for help is a sign of courage and intelligence. Find a trusted friend, advisor or professional to help you out.

35. Connect with your soul’s guidance. There are countless ways to interact with your soul essence. Prayer, meditation, visualisation, oracle reading, and dream work are all fairly simple ways to get back in touch with your core.

36. Be receptive to beauty. Beauty opens and expands the soul. Beauty can intoxicate and fill you with awe. Find at least one beautiful thing every day to enchant you. Nature is an easy and nourishing place to find all things beautiful and wild.

37. Connect with another person. Find someone to have a heart-to-heart conversation with, even if that person is online. Express your deepest thoughts and feelings and reciprocate that with another who is on the same wavelength as you. Human connection, when it is authentic and raw, is uplifting to the soul.

38. Be your own best friend and soulmate. Treat yourself as you wish to be treated. Enjoy spending time with yourself and fall in love with who you are. Celebrate your messy humanity and divinity and the strange paradox of who you are.

39. Creatively express your deepest feelings. Write, draw, sculpt, scrapbook, paint, sing or dance your rawest feelings. Creatively express yourself in whatever way feels most appealing and natural. You don’t have to be an artist to do this! Self-expression and creativity are universal balms for the soul and have tremendous healing energy.

 How to Use the Suggestions Above

Some final thoughts on the self-care suggestions I’ve just shared: pay attention to any that jump out at you. When reading through this list, which ideas tug at your attention? Focus on those first. Remember, there’s no need to rush! That would be contrary to the point of this article. So go at your own pace. Do as much or as little as feels comfortable to you. Most importantly, be consistent. Self-care is a habit and with a little stubbornness, it can become a wonderful way of life.

© Kate Grainger 2020. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Casey Carlisle with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

[butterflydm]

The Untamed Rewatch (ep 6)

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aka in which WWX as a friend comes with many benefits *winky-face*

Yeah, this is definitely the episode where WWX goes from thinking of LWJ as an uptight person to poke fun at and try to provoke and starts thinking of him as a person with deep emotions hidden under lock and key. This is also the episode when WWX decides he actually wants to be LWJ's friend and starts working towards that goal. He does still provoke LWJ after this, but that's more due to his natural personality rather than intentional poking to get a reaction.

We learn more about schooldays WWX here, as we see that he and Nie Huaisang have a simple knock code for afterhours hangouts. The three bros are hanging out drinking and eating peanuts. They're all fairly drunk, judging their behavior. Jiang Cheng and WWX needle each other about their potential marriage prospects. Jiang Cheng apparently has QUITE a laundry list of requirements for his future marriage partner. Maybe. Jiang Cheng. Babe. Maybe this is why you don't have one in the future. Maybe your standards aren't realistic. So, we've got: beautiful, tender, diligent, can run a household, good family, quiet, frugal, not too high a cultivation level. It does seem like Jiang Cheng wants someone who will run everything behind the scenes but never challenge him — possibly because his parents' marriage is so contentious? 

We don't see many healthy & happy marriages on-screen in the drama overall — Madame Yu and Jiang Fengmian argue in front of their children (among other issues), Jin Guangshan and Madame Jin don't need elaboration, the parents of Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji have a very messed up story even if you look at it as generously as possible, the Mo family don't seem terribly happy either tbh and also raised a bully and continued to cosset him into adulthood, Jin Guangyao and Qin Su, well…

Two of the happy marriages we see end in the early death of both spouses, who leave behind a small child who needs to be raised by others — WWX's parents, and Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan. The only real exception is MianMian and her husband, who do appear to be happy and are also still alive by the end of the series, but obviously that can't serve as an example to any of our characters in the flashback episodes. Am I missing any examples of good marriages?

All of which is to say… if Jiang Cheng does have issues with marriage and maybe even sets his standards so high because he's hesitant to get married at all, I can understand why.

Lan Wangji comes in and breaks up the… party, and WWX takes advantage of him turning his back to place a talisman on him that forces him to act under WWX's control, which is definitely not a good thing for WWX to do. WWX does seem surprised that it worked but this ties into one of the main things that the… eh, evil, I suppose, characters do, which is turn other people into puppets to act through. I do think WWX learns his lesson here with this talisman, not because he himself was punished over the event, but because it meant LWJ got punished when he didn't deserve it. WWX, for all his trickster tendencies, does have a strong sense of fair play.

But, imo, the main reason of this choice on the part of the drama is because they need WWX to see through some of LWJ's emotional walls and start to see him as a person rather than a rulebook now, in the flashback, because they want to make sure to establish a mutual bond in the past as well (which I feel is related to their attempts to sidle around censorship rules since they know they won't be able to do the kisses or the "I really wanted to sleep with you back then" type moments). 

It's also about the rule of unintended consequences — WWX wants LWJ to relax and stop being so fussy over the rules, and instead he gets something completely unexpected that throws him for a loop and makes him reconsider who LWJ is as a person. He learns about the importance of the forehead ribbon, and he sees LWJ's loneliness and sadness.

There are a couple of different ways I can take LWJ going "yeah, that's fine" to WWX telling him no woman is gonna want to marry him: first, that he's not attracted to women and he knows and accepts it or, second, that having seen what happened with his parents, the idea of staying single seems more attractive than the idea of being married. Going back up to 'not a lot of examples of happy marriages in CQL' (there might be more in the novel), again, and LWJ would know about even fewer. His only real example of marriage is a set of matched cages, his and hers.

The moment when WWX realizes that LWJ's mom is dead is beautifully-played, I think.

He realizes they have something in common and confides to LWJ. Now, since we know LWJ is a black-out drunk in present-day, he probably doesn't remember anything that happened after WWX had him take a drink (which is why he doesn't already know why WWX is afraid of dogs when they talk again about it in the present-day), but WWX doesn't know that when he tells LWJ about his parents and about living on the street. 

We do also get WWX talking about his bad memory here — he says that he thinks he should be able to remember his parents, but mostly he remembers is the trauma that happened afterwards. From what I've read of people's posts about the novel, WWX's bad memory is used differently there but, in the drama, it seems to be tied to trauma overwhelming other things. And we get the flashback to tiniest bb!WWX with his parents and I die. It's so cute. He confides in LWJ and essentially begins the process of adopting him as a friend.

So, the Lan Qiren & Lan Xichen scene makes me wonder, and this might be answered later but, Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue must already be friends at this point, yeah? They're both young sect leaders and Lan Xichen speaks highly of NMJ's integrity to Meng Yao. It's either implied or said flat-out, I think, that Nie Mingjue has sent Nie Huaisang to Gusu to study for multiple years, so obviously Nie Mingjue thinks highly of Lan sect's teachings as well. So, like, they had this established friendship going on that Jin Guangyao gets in the middle of and ultimately taints in a way by using Lan Xichen's teachings as the way he learns how to kill Nie Mingjue.

That's really sad!

Anyway, the bros (plus poor innocent LWJ) get busted for sneaking alcohol into the Cloud Recesses and other shenanigans and we learn that WWX's mom acted the way same when Lan Qiren knew her. They never talk about it on-screen during the time of the drama, but I like to think at some point, post-canon, WWX is able to weedle stories about his mom about Lan Qiren. Let me have my dreams! I'm not sure if Lan Xichen also met her at some point — he would have been pretty young since she died when WWX was a kidlet and he doesn't say anything about it, so probably not — or he's just amused because he thinks WWX is amusing.

Lan Xichen's face is so shocked when he learns Wangji (apparently) took part in WWX's secret drinking party. Like, he wanted WWX to be friends with his brother and maybe teach him to have fun, but this result was not expected! And since LWJ doesn't tell them what really happened and WWX gets cut off before he can explain, does LXC continue to think that WWX talked his brother into drinking with him or does he assume something more along the lines of what really happened?

So, I'm not sure if I need to say this or not but: I'm not a fan of violent punishments; I don't think they teach anything useful. But since the show doesn't really depict them as successful in that way, I don't necessarily have an issue with them being part of the narrative any more than I have issues with other violent choices by characters, if that makes sense? But just to make my own position on it clear, I guess! I don't think an authority figure hurting someone under their care is justified because that person broke their rules.

Anyway, Lan Xichen obviously doesn't hold WWX's apparent influence over LWJ's actions against him, because he points WWX in the direction of the cold springs, where he already knows his brother is chilling. 

We get the first scene between WWX and LWJ after WWX has decided they shall Now Be Friends. I've gotta say, this scene has the same energy as Darcy's first proposal to Elizabeth Bennet in Pride and Prejudice: I'm about to insult you (/your family) and don't realize at all this might be off-putting when I ask for a deeper emotional bond between us. And, much like with Elizabeth, I don't blame LWJ for being… 'no'. Like, WWX literally just said "hey, I thought you were boring but have now decided to give you the honor of being my friend". He's basically trying to neg LWJ into a friendship, it's a terrible approach.

I think we also get our first Gay Panic moment from poor LWJ here as his annoying, arrogant, stubborn-as-hell crush looks like he might strip in front of him. And then talks about the pretty girls back home. Poor LWJ.

They get yoinked into the cave where Lan Yi is holding the Yin Metal. I'm guessing this is all added since the Yin Metal wasn't a plotline in the novel, but it's a fun time (I mean, not really for the boys; they're pretty cold and wet). The show uses it as an excuse to put in some things they probably couldn't have otherwise sneaked in like WWX and LWJ getting tied together with the sacred forehead ribbon, plus it's also used to jumpstart the extra flashback stuff related to the drama-only Yin Metal plot. It's used to give us exposition in a way that's interesting for both us and the characters, plus there are bunnies.

Oh, they mention here that playing Spirit Inquiry is passed down through the family, and I remember I think that Lan Sizhui says that he's been learning it when we get to the future? That's so cute. If my memory is correct, hah.

Meeting Lan Yi and all the stuff with her is great. I understand (from what I've read of them) why some people have issues with the Yin Metal storyline in general. Obviously, as I was watching it without knowing it was drama-only, it did really work for me and it still does so far. WWX is less of an absolute genius, as he doesn't invent the discipline of demonic cultivation, but he does end up being the only person who is able to practice it large-scale without getting eaten up by it (... on his second try, but still). 

Instead, what the drama does is set up several cautionary tales/parallels for WWX. The sects joining forces to destroy the current master of demonic cultivation becomes a reoccuring theme — first with Xue Chonghai in the distant past, then Wen Rouhan in the early/middle flashback sequence, then Wei Wuxian at the end of the flashback sequence. 

Lan Yi was, apparently, the only female head of Lan Sect, but she did invent the cool musical technique that gets passed down from generation to generation. Lan Yi is a very likable character. She's polite and helpful and she raises bunnies and she readily admits to her mistakes of the past. She also has been working hard to try to mitigate the damage caused by her big mistake. She's a good person, but not perfect.

We also see the contrast here between Lan Yi and Lan Qiren — WWX essentially makes the same kind of suggestion here that he does in Lan Qiren's classroom but where LQR got angry and indignant over the idea, Lan Yi is sympathetic because she'd wondered the same thing. And one main difference between them that Lan Yi brings up is that she felt like she needed the edge because of the sexism she had to face as a female sect leader.

The first of our WWX-LWJ relationship parallels pops up here too — Lan Yi's one true friend was Baoshan. Lan Yi was young and aggressive, needed an edge, wouldn't listen to other people telling her that resentful energy was too much to handle, thought she could handle it all on her own. Baoshan was worried that the resentful energy would end up controlling and damaging her instead. It's a fairly blatant parallel. I really like that LWJ's parallel is the teacher of WWX's mom and WWX's parallel is LWJ's ancestor. Much like the other parallels we will run across, the story of Lan Yi and Baoshan ends more sadly than WWX and LWJ will; it's a cautionary tale. But even their endings do echo what happens at the end of the flashbacks — after Baoshan fails to stop Lan Yi from using the Yin Metal, she goes into seclusion and separates herself from the world emotionally, while Lan Yi is wounded and unleashed something dangerous she can't control.

So.... Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji go missing together. For hours. When they get found (in the next episode), obviously Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen find out where they really were but… what exactly does everyone else think happened to them? When they were missing together. For hours. And come back soaking wet with LWJ's sacred forehead ribbon wrapped around their wrists and unharmed (...and shoeless). 

*gazes off into the distance*

*thinks about how all the disciples learn about the forehead ribbon in lessons*

*thinks about Jiang Cheng's reactions in the future when WWX ditches him for LWJ*

*gazes off into the distance again*

In the search scene, we get another moment when Jiang Yanli is Feeling Poorly. I swear, that girl is sick every time we turn around. I want to give her a warm blanket and have someone else feed her soup for a change. Ah, we get Jiang Cheng's first empty threat about breaking someone's legs here (chronologically-speaking). Honestly, Jin Ling is such a reckless kiddo. Despite having literally zero of WWX's genes, I feel like he gives Jiang Cheng WWX flashbacks all the time.

Speaking of Jin Ling, Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan get a classic romantic trope when she slips and he catches her in his arms (a romantic trope that WWX enjoys with LWJ many times in the future, bless). I've been wanting to keep an eye on him and his assumptions and his reactions to her. They do quite a bit of staring before they break away, and it does look like he's feeling something too. But then he immediately flees. It's a miracle he ever managed to marry her.

Next time: Lan Wangji falls in love; Wei Wuxian gets himself kicked out of the Cloud Recesses.

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