#and it is just me

[taco-night-frenzy]

Graveyard Keeper Review

I couldn't post this on Steam since I technically don't own it there (even though I paid for the DLC) but I wrote this all out for a Steam Review and I am not wasting it.

ANYWAYS. Here's my review of the game Graveyard Keeper under the cut.

Warning, it is negative, and I did not like it very much. I don't hate it though. I gave this game a solid 40 hours with all the DLCs.

Really thought I'd like this game, but it gets old and it gets old FAST. I wouldn't say it's a terrible game by any means, I legit got some entertainment out of it at the start, but it quickly falls apart when you realize you just never…. do anything. I played this game with all the DLCs installed and I think that give it a feeling of lots of 'content' and made it addicting for a while when I wasn't quite sure what awaited me.

This is like baby's first Factorio/Stardew Valley game but you get the worst of both worlds.

You're tasked to be a Graveyard Keeper, but honestly, that's like 10 percent of the game. You very rarely do any graveyard keeping. And when you do, like everything else in this game, it is extremely poorly explained. The thing you'll be spending more time than anything doing is just… walking back and forth. You're given a clunky teleport pretty early on and maybe later you'll find out you can keep buying speed potions if you can't live like this anymore, but that seems to be it. There's no mounts, there's no better system of travel, no upgrading that.

The gameplay revolves around your standard Factorio / Stardew Valley type things… gather resources, find a way to min/max gathering those resources etc. It's a bit addicted at first because min/maxing them is incredibly easy when you understand the game. Sadly, when you understand the game, you also realize there is nothing awaiting you for doing any of these tasks. The 'rewards' you get are mediocre at best.

The soundtrack is also just… not good. You get maybe 2 songs on a 2 minute loop for this intensely long grindy game. Bring your own music.

I'd say by far the worst part of this game though is the writing. I don't think this matters to some people and that's fair, but the writing here is just bland, boring, dry, and riddled with typos and spelling mistakes. There's some sort of spelling error in almost every scene.

The plot and the characters are way worse than I expected. The plot turns out to be an ISEKAI. Yes, that's right. This is a cut and dry ISEKAI somehow. You play as John Milk Toast Normal Guy and get hit by a car and end up in this boring world that makes you a Graveyard Keeper. That was a red flag off the bat, but I tried to be open minded.

Throughout the game though, you'll learn that not a single one of these characters is likeable in any sense. They're all vaguely buttheads and kind of rude. They have a lot to say, but it's never fun, it's just bad stale jokes and quips without any kind of style or flair added to them.

(Note: I LIKE rude characters. But they're ALL weirdly low level rude and dull as dishwater.)

The OTHER red flag should have been noticing all the DLCs just titled after popular TV shows. Stranger Sins, Better Save Soul, etc…. none of these references have literally anything to do with DLCs. It is just, "Hey this one is sin related, let's make the title look like Stranger Things."

And tying in with the rewards sucking, your rewards 90% of the time are just waiting through these incredibly dull scenes that feel like they were written by a 15 year old boy going through an edgy phase (but also doesn't want to upset Mom)

Final Bit: This game is just sadly mediocre. It's not a terrible game, but it is certainly not good. It has no strong points. Play Factorio, Oxygen Not Included, something like that if you need the grind. Play Stardew Valley or Sun Haven if you want that Harvest Moon farm feel. This game does not scratch the itch of either. If you can get the full game and the three DLCs all at once for extremely cheap? I guess it's not the worst, but it is still not fun enough.

[paintedcrows]

Did anyone tell Ford (bonus doodles: Family Movie Night)

[morganbritton132]

Me: You know how when you were a kid and you’d wish that you’d get sick or injured in a way that would justify why you didn’t live up to your potential?

Everybody, apparently: No?

[koobiie]

shoutout to everyone who wants to infodump but cant string together coherent thoughts to form sentences and instead just look at you like this

[codecicle]

Guys I'm so glad everyone loves hit JRWI campaign: The Suckening so much. 12 thousand notes on just a thumbnail that's so cool. Anyone think about emizel pussy-out post revival

[chaotic-neutral-knitter]

I think one of the kindest things you can do for people with various mental health struggles is just... let people back into your life after they've been absent for a while.

Making friends as an adult is so fucking hard already and isolating yourself from other people is a very common symptom of depression, anxiety, burnout, ocd, trauma, grief, etc. Which means that someone will do the hard work of recovery/healing and resurface back into a world where their previous friends have written them off because they stopped showing up.

So if you know someone where you're like "yeah we could have been better friends but they fell off the map a bit" and that person suddenly reaches out, or starts showing up to events even though you kind of forgot they were still in the group chat... well they may have been Going Through It and you don't actually have to punish them for their absence you can just be glad that they're back.

[whiteshipnightjar]

Zoozve, my beloved

[inkskinned]

please i love you i'm begging you bring back suspension of disbelief bring back trusting the audience like. i cannot handle any more dialogue that sounds like a legal document. "hello, i am here to talk to you about the incident from a few minutes ago, because i feel you might be unwell, and i am invested in your personal wellbeing." "thank you, i am unwell because the incident was hurtful to me due to my childhood, which was bad." I CANT!!!!

do you know how many people are mad that authors use "growled" as a word for "said"? it's just poetics! they do not literally mean "growled," it's just a common replacement for "said with force but in a low tone." it's normal! do you hear me!! help me i love you please let me out of here!!!

[evidently-endless]

i think we should remind musicians they can absolutely make up little stories for their songs btw. it doesn’t have to be about them at all. you can invent a guy and put him in situations to music. time honoured tradition in fact.

[canonkiller]

I just think everyone should take a moment to consider the question "what is your visual shorthand for cruelty?" and then follow it up with a critical "and who taught you that?"

specific examples include but are not limited to

why is an evil timeline character design disabled? (why do the heroes go through equally punishing battles and never lose an arm, a leg, an eye?)

why are the futuristic scifi terrorists uniformly darker skinned? (why are the heroes so much lighter?)

why is the greedy boss fat? (why are the heroes skinny?)

why is the criminal mastermind heavily scarred? (why is the brooding, traumatized hero unscathed?)

why is the predatory creep a bearded person in a dress and makeup? (why are none of the heroes trans women?)

who taught you that this is how things are?

how long do you plan on repeating it?

[kochei0]

I turn to Ares.

Thanks to Tyler Miles Lockett who allowed me to draw inspiration from his ARES piece for page 2! Look at his etsy page it's SICK

⚔️ If you want to read some queer retelling of arturian legends have a look at my webtoon

[angrypeacepoetry]

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[starridge]

puppet hour was brutal

[void-drifter]

it’s cheaper to buy vegetables here

[sylvies-kablooie]

i do unironically think the best artists of our generation are posting to get 20 notes and 3 reblogs btw. that fanfic with like 45 kudos is some of the best stuff ever written. those OCs you carry around have some of the richest backstories and worldbuilding someone has ever seen. please do not think that reaching only a few people when you post means your art isn't worth celebrating.