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#and it was so funny i’ve been thinking about it for forever
yourlittlettoy · 2 days
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FIRST “NEST” HIGHLIGHTS ✨
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Just for the sake of using this blog like an actual blogging space 💁🏻‍♀️✨ let me tell you about how my first NEST went!!
For those of you that aren’t familiar, NEST is one of the biggest fetish gatherings in North America for us t-word enthusiasts! I’ve known about it since forever ago, and this may it was my first time actually attending. It was: everything I’d hoped it would be (˘▽˘ʃƪ)・゚✧♡ here are some highlights!
This gathering was probably one of the biggest I’ve ever been to in terms of the amount of friends I saw alone! There were pals from our Tumblr community, friends from Japan, everyone from my gathering friend groups, and lots of friends from my local community as well. It was really heaven to just be with all of my favourite people all at once and in one place (˘▽˘ʃƪ)・゚✧♡
The events were REALLY COOL! Definitely a gathering with one of the most comprehensive schedules I’ve ever experienced! I participated in as much as I could, but notably the squid games, auctions, and t-word-theatre (which is a big public t-word show where someone get’s got in front of an audience in a very theatrical way!) was super cool! Having said that…
I GOT KIDNAPPED!! Well, “napped” 😅 don’t worry, no real felonies here hahaha. When I applied to be ‘napped like back in the beginning of the year, I didn’t hear anything back at all about the process of how that was going. Knowing not every applicant ends up getting chosen, I didn’t let myself keep my hopes up. Long story short.. after I excitedly went to the t-word theatre event all pumped to watch someone get got… to my great surprise, that person was gonna be me lmao ‼️😱 I was kinda *taken* from my seat and tied to a chair in front of everyone, then a game show-dating show scenario played out with 3 bachelors behind a curtain answering questions (really funny and witty answers, might I add) that the show host threw their way 😆. Of course, then the host eventually asks the question “our bachelorette loves to laugh, how would you make her laugh?” … and basically I watched as all of them came through the curtain to come get me 😱 one by one…. And then !!! OF COURSE ALL THREE HAD TO COME AT ONCE 😱💀😵!!! And I couldn’t take it right so I was yelling “help meeee” hahaha ya know cause pooOOooOoOor meeeee 🤪😇. And the host was like… “sure I’ll help them” AND JOINED IN ON THE LERS SIDE 💀💀💀! ANYWAYYYY despite how extremely evil that was 😜🥺, it was 10/10 one of the coolest experiences of my life, I got an “I got napped” certificate AND it made me really happy when people approached me later saying they liked my scene (˘▽˘ʃƪ)・゚✧♡ THANK U NEST FOR CHOOSING MEEEE! 🩷
This was the first gathering I been to with a partner and he was beyond lovely and supportive and we didn’t struggle with feeling any kind of restrictions due to each other .. and this means a lot because I intend on going to gatherings for as long as I can and the fact that that won’t interfere with my love life is truly a dream come true for me :)
Oh, and I experienced getting t-worded by one of my most sadistic gal pals in a fully nylon body suit and 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 I think my soul left my body that day lmaoooo RIP ME
Those are the highlights!!! This post really is a summary but happy to share more details if there are any questions 😁 thank you for reading and for following along this lil journey with me <3 I adore and appreciate all of you here with me right now! We’ve come a long way 🥰 maybe see some of you next year!!! 👀😙 that would be amazing!
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maladaptivewriting · 2 days
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Hello mal, I must come here to inform you this week's update took me out and i must share my suffering with the person responsible for it... anyway, now seriously, it was sooo good! It was definitely worth the wait... my babies are fighting again 💔 I swear they can never catch a break :( poor baby reg is so stressed
I must share a secret with you... I have been reading fanfics for a looooong time and i have been a fan of harry potter for literal years, yet I have never fallen in the temptation of reading a Drarry fic.... sure, I've read some that had it on the side, they were mostly Wolfstar or Jegulus but I must say the golden king is tempting me with every chapter to start reading them.... funny thing is, that's exactly how I got into Jegulus. I was OBSESSED with a Wolfstar fic, and after like 150k the author decided to add Jegulus into the mix and it changed me forever.
Is Drarry going to be my new hyperfixation? Possible.
Do I have time to have an hyperfixation? No.
Am I going to let it stop me? Absolutely not
Only time will tell what comes of me when the time comes
All this is to say that you are an incredible author, with incredible writing and I'm rereading tgk for the thousand time without regrets 🤗💖
Any Drarry fics recommendations? 🤭🥰
omgggg drarry is THE ship. it’s the best ship in the fandom.
if you’re going to read any drarry fic, i recommend starting with soup-pocalypse and the great curry cataclysm (mostly because i’ve been thinking about it a lot today)
if i can bring anyone over to drarry, then i’ve done my job
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exilepurify · 1 year
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i swear to god i have this super vivid memory of a mp100 omake that i could’ve sworn was real but after weeks and weeks of scouring the internet, i can’t find anything on it or any evidence that it existed. I guess I either made it up, dreamed it, or it was an old tumblr post that I can’t find anymore bc Tumblr’s search function is god-awful.
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leverage-ot3 · 2 months
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silly episode idea but hear me out
okay well the first part isn’t silly! so the episode is based around a con they are doing where a polyam triad wants to get married and have been writing to senators and stuff for years but nothing has happened. maybe there is a time element that leeway has to happen soon (not sure what that would be yet, maybe someone is sick???)
(obviously polycules aren’t only and are often more than just a closed three-person system, but I’m saying triad right now bc I feel like that would be an easier and more ‘socially acceptable’ gateway into more accepting legislation for diverse relationship dynamics)
the leverage crew, of course, can’t outright change the public perception of poly marriage, but they can use the ‘enemy’s’ tactics against them and slip stuff into legislation without people noticing like they do. it’s slimy and it’s not a permanent fix, but it’s a start, and it gives people the opportunity to see poly marriage in action and that it isn’t as terrifying or pearl-clutching-inducing as they think it would be. there’s a long way to go, but the seeds of change have been sown and they will make sure everything goes as smoothly as possible
this is one of the cases that they will monitor on the back burner over time. some cons can finish within a few hours (the bottle job), and some things they will follow over time and make adjustments when needed- amplify voices and expose corrupt politicians etc
and then it’s just after 3/4 of the way through but the con has been finished? what is going on? this is where the silliness comes in
the camera turns to the ot3 and…
hardison, pulling out three individualized rings: I know it’s not legal yet, and we have the necklaces, but I think rings would be a nice touch
eliot, pulling out an intricately carved box that also has three self-handcrafted rings: dammit hardison (with feeling and tenderness, and damp eyes)
parker, pulling out three very stolen rings from her pocket: does this mean we’re getting triple married if we all have three rings???
harry pops into the conversation (practically vibrating) excitedly just casually mentioning that he’s a notary and would be honored to marry them to each other if they wanted to
(they do)
wait, did I say silly? I meant unwaveringly tender and heartwarming
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nazumichi · 6 months
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raii nazumichi suffering moodboard
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arthur-r · 2 years
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guys minnesota accidentally legalized weed
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waitimcomingtoo · 3 months
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And I’ve Been Meaning To Tell You
Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader
Synopsis: you overhear Peter denying that he likes you so you go out with another guy, leaving him to crash your date and tell you how he feels
Masterlist
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“At what point does the staring because you’re pining for your friend become staring because you’re a stalker and planing on wearing her hair as a wig?” Ned asked after following Peter’s gaze and seeing he was once again staring at you from across the cafeteria.
“I don’t know. I think when I start wearing baseball caps and standing outside her window with binoculars.” Peter sighed happily and rested his chin in his hand as he continued to stare.
“But, it’s not gonna get to that point though, right?” Ned laughed nervously.
“I don’t know.” Peter shrugged. “She lives on a pretty high floor.”
“That’s not the answer I wanted.” Ned said quietly.
“I had a dream last night that I asked her out and she said “I’ll see you at 8” without ever telling me where we were meeting just like in the movies.” Peter said proudly.
“You should not be proud of that. Why don’t you just ask her out with your out loud words for once?” Ned asked him.
“Because the dynamic of our friendship will be-“
“-forever altered past the point of repair and things will eventually return to normal but never feel the same.” Ned groaned as ge finished Peter’s sentence. “Yes, I know. Thats always your excuse. But I really don’t think she’ll say no.”
“You don’t know that.” Peter insisted. “I can’t risk it.”
“Peter, it’s so obvious you guys like each other. She always laughs at your jokes and nobody, and I mean nobody, finds you funny. And I know you like her back because you stare at her all the time and got goosebumps that one time her ponytail hit you in the face.”
“It smelled like freedom and prosperity.” Peter whispered.
“So ask her out and smell her ponytail all the time.” Ned whispered back.
“I just can’t, okay? And I don’t even like her like that. So stop bringing it up.” Peter said and looked over at you again. He watched you leave a group of friends and walk over to him and Ned.
“But you guys obviously want to be together so why don’t you just be together?” Ned asked him.
“Because I don’t like her and she doesn’t like me, okay? That’s that.” Peter whispered harshly just as you sat down at their table.
“Hey guys. I’m pretty sure I just got a veinte out of one hundred on my Spanish quiz so.” You sighed and dropped your backpack on the table.
“Hi.” Peter’s blushed and smiled at you. Your bad mood quickly eviscerated and you smiled back.
“Hi Peter.”
“If you want, I can help you study for your next Spanish quiz. I took it last semester and did fairly bien.” Peter offered.
“Really?” You lit up. “Thanks, Pete. That would be so bien of you.”
“No problemo.” Peter said back.
“This feels…racist.” Ned mumbled as he watched the interaction.
“I, uh, I watched that movie you were talking about the other day.“ You told Peter with a nervous smile.
“You watched Alien? Did you like it?” Peter asked excitedly.
“I did but it made me kinda paranoid about, you know, aliens. But I liked the part when the alien came out of the guys chest. I never realized that scene was from that movie. I felt like I was finally in on the film bros inside jokes.”
“Yeah. I like that part too. I also like the part when he swam up the filters motor and stuck that pebble in there so the tank would get dirty and have to be cleaned, giving all the other fish a chance to escape.” Peter replied. It took you a minute to get it but when you did, you burst out laughing. Peter blushed at how hard you were laughing at his joke while Ned watched the interaction in disgust.
“That was not funny.” Ned shook his head. “Not even a little bit. It was a little criminal actually.”
“What? Yes it was. Peters always funny.” You insisted.
“Isn’t he though?” Ned faked a smile before rolling his eyes.
“Hey, back off. I liked the joke.” You defended Peter, making his blush deepen.
“Thank you. I like your jokes too.” Peter told you.
“Ugh.” Ned groaned. “This is revolting to watch. Why don’t you guys just get married already?”
“That’s not a bad idea.” You said. “We’d get a tax break, right? Whatever that means.”
“It’s when they break your taxes in half.” Peter answered.
“Oh, is that it?” You laughed. “Sounds about right.”
“I know because I took that accounting class freshman year. You weren’t in that class so you wouldn’t know.” He teased you.
“Hm. Is that the class they cancelled because not enough people signed up?” You teased back.
“Yep. That one.” He nodded. “Wow. The memory on you. You’d be an excellent gatherer if this was Hunter gatherer times.”
“Aw, Peter. That’s the nicest thing a guys ever said to me.” You smiled and touched your heart.
“If you liked that compliment I have like eight more in the chamber ready to go.” Peter told you.
“Oh my God. Just make out already. But not in front of my clementine.” Ned grumbled and peeled his clementine. You and Peter fell silent at his exclamation. Peter’s face burned with embarrassment while you avoided eye contact with either of them.
“I’m gonna go refill my water bottle. I’ll be right back.” You smiled awkwardly and quickly left the table.
“Nice job, Ned.” Peter hugged. “You just made her so uncomfortable she went to fill up a full water bottle.”
“I told you, dude. She obviously likes you. I was just pointing out the obvious.” Ned defended himself.
“She doesn’t like me.” Peter insisted.
“Are you kidding me? You just made a Finding Nemo joke and she actually laughed. Not even fake laugh. That was a genuine belly laugh at the worst joke I have ever had the misfortune of hearing. She’s down horrendous for you.”
“No, she’s not. She just sees me as a friend. And I don’t even like her like that so it doesn’t matter.” Peter lied in an effort to change the subject.
“You can’t hide the truth from your best friend. I see right through your lies. You like her. I know it and you know it. Why can’t she know it?” Ned asked.
“I told you to stop bringing it up.” Peter grumbled, growing frustrated now. It wasn’t uncommon for Ned to bring this up but it was happening more than usual lately and all it did was remind Peter that you’d never be together.
“But-“
“I don’t like her, okay? I never did. I don’t think she’s pretty, I don’t find her funny, and I don’t want to be her boyfriend. I don’t know why you don’t believe me. I swear, I do not like her like that. I never have, and I never will. Okay?” Peter snapped. Little did he know, you had come back to the table and heard his whole outburst. You blinked a few times as your stomach sank but put on a brave face and sat down.
“I’m back.” You forced a smiled but didn’t meet Peter’s eyes. Peter’s eyes widened when you sat down and he looked at Ned.
“How much of that did you hear?” Peter asked you.
“How much of what?” You played dumb. You had to pretend you weren’t crushed that the boy you’d been pining after for years just very aggressively confirmed he didn’t like you.
“Nothing.” Peter lied and exchanged another look with Ned. Ned shrugged before changing the subject to move away from the moment entirely. You pretended to listen as you tried your best not to look as disappointed as you felt.
Once your break was over, you left the cafeteria and went for a walk around campus to clear your head. You ended up on a bench and sat down before taking a big sigh. You hadn’t noticed the guy that was sitting on the other end of the bench, but he certainly noticed you.
“Hey.” He said. You looked around for who he was talking to but found no one.
“Me, hey?” You asked and pointed to yourself.
“Yeah. You, hey.” He smiled and nodded his head.
“Oh. Hey.” You smiled back.
“I’m Drew.” He said.
“Y/n.” You said back.
“What’s the matter, Y/n? You look forlorn.”
“Oh, it’s stupid.” You waved your hand.
“Not to me. Tell me about it.” He insisted and scooted closer to you. You looked down at the lessened space between the two of you and laughed shyly.
“It’s nothing. I just overheard my friends talking about me.” You told him.
“Oh shit. Was it bad?”
“Not necessarily. But it didn’t make me feel good.”
“Damn. That sucks.” Drew said. You nodded in agreement and an awkward silence fell between you.
“I like that shirt.” He said suddenly and nodded towards your shirt.
“Oh, thanks. I borrowed it from a girl I didn’t even talk to anymore.” You replied as you pulled on the shirt.
“Finders keepers.” He shrugged. “You should wear it when I take you out.”
“Why would I wear a shirt you’ve already seen when we go out?” You laughed.
“So we’re going out?” Drew smiled.
“I guess we are.” You shrugged and realized you had just agreed to a date.
“Cool. I’ll pick you up Friday.” Drew winked at you before getting off the bench. You smiled at the unexpected interaction before realizing you had not gotten a single detail.
“Wait, pick me up where?” You called after him, but he was already gone. You slumped back in your seat on the bench and felt an equal mix of confusion and excitement. Maybe this new guy was exactly what you needed to forget about Peter.
The next day, you sat with Peter and Ned at your usual spot in the lunch room but barely paid attention to their conversation. Drew had found you on Instagram and you’d been talking to him all day. Peter had noticed your thumbs flying around your keyboard and the smile on your face and felt curious and ever so slightly jealous about who was making you smile like that.
“Is that good with you Y/n?” Ned asked you.
“Sorry, what?” You asked and put your phone down.
“We were saying we were gonna get chicken wings and watch the Trixi Mattel documentary.” Peter informed you.
“Again? And I can’t Friday.” You told them.
“Why not?” Peter asked.
“I have a date.”
Ned and Peter exchanged a looked before started to speak at the same time. They both stumbled over their words and spoke over each other as they gave you all their thoughts and opinions on why you should not go on this date. You tried to cut in but Ned kept listing Criminal Minds plot lines where women were murdered while Peter asked question after question about the guy.
“Slow down. One at a time.” You shouted over them and they both went silent. You pointed to Ned to signal that it was his turn to talk.
“You have a date? With a human boy?” Ned asked in disgust.
“Yeah. Is that surprising?” You asked, sounding a little hurt that they were so shocked.
“No.” Peter replied and looked at Ned to signal for him to say the same so that you wouldn’t be offended.
“Yes.” Ned said immediately. “Who the hell is this guy?”
“Ned.” Peter said warningly.
“His name is Drew.” You shrugged.
“Drew? What’s his brothers name, draw? Stupid fucking past tense ass bullshit name.” Ned grumbled.
“Jesus Ned.” You laughed. “It’s a normal name. It’s short for Andrew.”
“Andrew?” Peter scoffed. “What is he, an apostle?”
“I don’t think there was an apostle named. Andrew.” You stated. “I think they were all named Mark. And like, John or something.”
“I don’t know. I wasn’t there.” Peter waved his hand. “Why are you going on a date with this potential psychopath?”
“Because asked me on a date.” You said simply.
“And you said yes? When we don’t even know this guy. What if he’s into hardcore drugs and wants to use you as a drug mule for his next big drug operation?“
“He seemed fine.” You shrugged.
“So you’re gonna risk your life going on a date with this lunatic because he “seemed” fine? What if he’s a cannibal?” Ned asked.
“I don’t think he’s a cannibal. He was just sitting on a bench on his phone.”
“Oh my God. He sounds completely insane. Check the sex offender registry for his name right now.” Ned instructed Peter. Peter started typing his name into his laptop so you shut Peter’s laptop with a roll of your eyes.
“Why are you guys being insane? I thought you’d be happy for me.”
“I’m about to end my life over this.” Peter mumbled.
“Me too.” Ned added. “What even spurred this reckless decision?”
“I don’t know. A guy hasn’t shown interest in me in a while. This guy did so I took a chance. Is it really that crazy?”
“Yes.” Ned said immediately. “You’re ludicrous for this. You are absolutely Pitbull featuring Ludacris for this. Saying yes to a date with a stranger. This girl has lost her damn mind.”
“How else do you meet people?” You asked them.
“You don’t.” Peter said a sarcastic laugh. you threw your hands up in exasperation and Peter and Ned exchanged a look.
“What he means is, you should try asking a friend out. That way, you already know them and know you won’t get diced and quartered into a bunch of little pieces.” Ned said kindly.
“Why would he dice me and quarter me? Wouldn’t one or the either be enough?” You asked.
“Probably not for this lunatic.” Ned laughed like it was ridiculous to suggest.
“I think you guys are over reacting. What if he’s just a nice guy wants to take me on a date?”
“No guy wants that.” Ned groaned.
“Wow. Thanks Ned.” You said sarcastically.
“What I meant was, Peter has something to say.” Ned said and pointed to Peter. Peter turned bright red and gave Ned an angry look.
“You do?” You asked Peter.
“No?” Peter replied.
“Right.” You smiled tightly and looked away from him, making Peter know he blew it.
“Where is the date?” Ned asked.
“I don’t know. Some frat house. He said his friend is having a party and he wants to take me.”
“A party? At a frat house? With underage drinking? Oh great. So this guy is a law breaker. He probably has an extensive criminal record already. And I bet it’s for the drug mule thing.” Ned insisted.
“We’re all 21. You literally turned 22 last week.” You reminded him.
“I don’t see how that’s relevant to this conversation.” Ned brushed you off.
“What kind of first date is a party anyway? A girl like you deserves to be taken on a nice, well thought out date that doesn’t involve getting drunk around strangers. If I was the one taking you on a date, I’d make a picnic of your favorite snacks and we’d eat it on the rooftop of my apartment while the sun sets.” Peter stated.
“But you’re not the one taking me on a date. He is. He likes me, you don’t.” You said sharply, making everyone fall silent. You hadn’t meant to snap at Peter like that but it bothered you that he was aggressively putting down your date after rejecting you.
“What? Am I wrong?” You asked the table.
“Peter.” Ned whispered but it was loud enough for everyone to hear. You looked at Peter again but he just couldn’t do it.
“No. You’re not wrong.” He said quietly. You nodded your head like you expected that before getting up from the table.
“I just wanted my friends to tell me they were happy for me. Instead, we just had one of the weirdest and least encouraging conversations I’ve ever been an apart of. I’ll see you guys later.” You grumbled and walked away.
“That went well.” Ned said once you were gone.
“She definitely overheard me. I totally hurt her feelings and drove her right into the arms of that cannibal drug mule. Why did I say those things?” Peter asked and rubbed his face in frustration.
“I don’t know man. I would have stopped at “I don’t like her” but you really went off.” Ned agreed.
“Because you were annoying me with how much you were asking.” Peter whined. “Oh God. What am I gonna do now? Shes gonna go to that party and fall in love with draw and forget all about me.”
“I’ll tell you what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna find draw’s party and crash it. And you’re gonna woman up and tell her how you feel.”
“How are we gonna find his party? We’re not exactly good at attending parties.”
“I have my sources.” Ned smiled deviously.
“You’re just track her location on snap maps, aren’t you?” Peter sighed.
“Yeah, I’m just gonna track her on snap maps.” Ned admitted.
When Friday came around, Peter and Ned were glued to their phones as the tried to find out where you were. Luckily for them, you had been posting a plethora of pictures of the party to your Snapchat so they easily found where you were. Unlucky for Peter, Drew was featured in all of the pictures and you looked like you were having the time of your life. Peter swallowed down his jealousy and got dressed to go to the party. He rehearsed his speech for you in his head as he made his way through the crowd. He finally found you in the kitchen in the arms of a girl he didn’t recognize. Your eyes lit up when you saw him and you tried to go towards him but immediately tripped over your over feet.
“Peter!” You cheered and threw your arms around him. The girl who had been holding you let go of your waist while Peter looked at her in confusion. You stumbled into Peter and had a hard time keeping yourself up straight
“You know her?” The girl asked Peter.
“Yeah. She’s my best friend. What’s going on? Who are you? And where’s draw?”
“I’m Serita. I found her all by herself. She seemed pretty upset.”
“Well if it isn’t Peter Peter pumpkin eater. He actually doesn’t even like pumpkin flavored things. He doesn’t like me either. He made that very clear.” You laughed and clapped Serita on the back. Serita looked at Peter in amusement but he was too focused on how drunk you were.
“Are you drunk?” Peter asked in shock.
“What? No.” You scoffed and nearly fell over.
“She’s wasted.” Serita told him. “I got her to drink some water by telling her it was a big shot of vodka.”
“I’m just here to feel the heat with somebody.” You said and held your hands up in defense.
“I’ve never seen you drink this much. What happened?” Peter asked you.
“Psh. I’m not as think as you drunk I am.” You denied the obvious with a wave of your hand. The action caused you to stumble again and you had to grip Peter’s shirt to keep from going down.
“You can’t even stand up straight. Where’s draw?” Peter asked again and looked around the room for your date.
“I don’t know.” You shrugged. “I’m pretty sure he left with that pretty red headed girl from our statistics class sophmore year. With that teacher who had that cat with a silly name. Remember him? What was the cats name?”
“Kitty puss.” Peter reluctantly admitted.
“Kitty puss!” You cheered again and nearly dropped to the floor.
“I got you.” Peter said and tightened his grip on you. “But if he’s on on a date with you then why did he leave with another girl?”
“Because he didn’t get what he wanted from this girl?” You shrugged with a sad smile. Peter’s eyes darkened and he looked at Serita with a clenched jaw.
“What did he want?” He asked her.
“To get her drunk enough to lower her standards.” Serita stated. “That’s what he does to all the undergrad girls on this campus. Or at least, he tries to. Girls his age know better and stay away from him. But unfortunately for your best friend here, she didn’t know about his reputation.”
“Sterling Knight should have had a bigger career after Starstruck. He was funny and could sing. I never found him all that handsome but he had star power. He deserved more from Disney and I’ll die on that hill.” You interrupted their conversation to say.
“That’s nice, sweetie.” Peter smiled kindly at you before looking at Serita again. “I’m gonna take her to the bathroom and try to sober her up. Thanks for taking care of her. I’m glad she had a friend here.”
“Oh, I don’t know this girl. I just noticed she needed someone and stayed with her.” Serita explained. Peter raised his eyebrows in surprise before giving her a grateful smile.
“Oh. Well thanks for noticing. I got it from here.” He said before picking you up bridal style. You laughed gleefully and wrapped your arms around his neck, making Peter turn red again. Serita noticed this and stopped him.
“Hold on. How do I know I can trust you with her?” Serita asked. “What if you don’t even know her and you’re just trying to do what Drew was trying to do?”
“I promise I know her. Look. She’s my lock screen.” Peter said and showed Serita his lock screen which was a photo of the two of you.
“Best friend, huh?” Serita smirked.
“Please.” Peter whined. “I can’t hear it from you too. I’m an idiot and I know that. That’s the whole reason I’m here.”
“Well good luck. She’s been talking about “my Peter” all night.” Serita patted his back before walking away. Peter smiled at that before carrying you to the bathroom.
“Is this how Lady Gaga felt at the 2011 Grammys when they carried her in in that giant egg?” You asked as you rested your head on Peter’s shoulder.
“We will never know how Lady Gaga felt while being carried in a giant egg at the 2011 Grammys. You’re just being carried by your idiot friend to a disgusting frat bathroom that probably has salmonella and syphilis all over it.”
“Romantic.” You chuckled and held Peter tighter. He shut the bathroom door behind the two of you before gently putting you down on the countertop. He started rummaging through the medicine cabinet while you swung your legs.
“My tummy hurts.” You whined.
“I know. Take this.” Peter instructed and handed you Tylenol.
“Magic beans?”
“Tylenol. Drink this.” He chuckled and handed you back the cup of water from Serita. You chugged the water with the pills and wiped your mouth before giving Peter a sad smile.
“How do you feel? Do you need to puke?”
“No.” You shook your head. That action made you nauseous and you hopped off the counter to throw up into the toilet.
“I had a feeling that was gonna happen.” Peter mumbled.
“Don’t tell Kitty Puss about what a wreck I am.” You pleaded and threw up again.
“I won’t.” Peter laughed and held your hair back.
“I’m gonna die.” You whined and slumped against the bathtub. Peter sat down beside you and got the hair out of your face.
“You’re not gonna die.” He assured you. “You’re just gonna have really bad breath and carpet burn on your knees.”
“I hate carpet burn.” You said and started to cry. Peter had a feeling the tears weren’t just from the carpet burn so he wrapped his arms around you.
“It’s okay. Let it all out.” He said softly as he rubbed his hand on your back. You wrapped your arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder for a minute before pulling away. He grabbed a tissue from the counter and wiped your tears for you.
“I’m sorry.” You said quietly as you stared down at your lap.
“What are you sorry for?”
“For going on this date.”
“No. I don’t want to hear that. You don’t have anything to apologize for.” Peter shook his head as he continued to dry your eyes. You pushed your hand away and held it so he would look at you.
“I do. I only went because I was mad at you. And I posted all those things because I wanted you to think I was having fun with another guy. But I wasn’t having fun. I was thinking about you the entire night.”
“Well you fooled me.” Peter chucked. “I thought you were halfway in love with this guy already. But why were you mad at me?”
“I heard you the other day. I heard you tell Ned you didn’t like me.” You admitted and gave him a sad smile.
“Oh, that’s not-“
“And it’s fine.” You cut him off. “I shouldn’t have gotten mad at you over that. It’s not your fault you don’t like me. We can’t help what we don’t feel.”
Peter stared into your eyes and saw a sadness he’d never seen you show before. You had sobered up a little but still weren’t completely there. He wanted to tell you how he felt, but he wanted you to be sober enough to remember it.
“So what happened to your date?” He changed the subject. You gave Peter a sad smile and shrugged your shoulders.
“He wasn’t much of a gentleman.” You admitted. Peters jaw clenched but he tried to remain calm for you same.
“Why do you say that?”
“I kept trying to talk to him and get to know him but all he wanted to do was get drunk. So I kept drinking whatever he handed me because I thought that would make me a more “fun” date.” You told him. You looked down at your dress and nervously fiddled with the hem of it. Peter stayed silent as he watched your eyes fill up with tears.
“I got all dressed up. I did my hair and my makeup. I tried to look pretty for him.” You said sadly. “But he didn’t even compliment me when he saw me. And he didn’t laugh at any of my jokes. I kept feeling like I was annoying him any time I asked him a question. But I was just trying to get to know him.“
“Well he’s crazy for not complimenting you. Because you look very pretty tonight.”
“Oh, please. My makeup’s running down my face and I probably have puke on my dress.”
“Doesn’t matter. You’re still the prettiest girl in this room.” Peter told you.
“I’m the only girl in this room.” You reminded him and pointed to the bathroom wall.
“Doesn’t matter. You’re the prettiest girl in any room you’re in.” Peter stated. That brought a smile out of you and you slipped your hand into his.
“You’re sweet.” You smiled in appreciation and gave his hand a squeeze. Peter squeezed you back before getting the hair off your forehead. You leaned into his hand and looked into his eyes.
“What happened tonight?“ He asked quietly.
“Well, once I was drunk enough for Drew’s liking, he asked me to go up to one of the bedrooms with him. I went because I thought it was because he wanted a more private place to talk. I thought he wanted to hear what I had to say. Imagine that? Imagine your date being interesting in something you had to say? But he didn’t care about that. He didn’t want to talk.” You laughed sadly before looking down at the floor with a heavy sadness.
“What did he want?” Peter asked and braced himself. You looked up and met Peter’s eyes with a sad smile.
“You know what he wanted.” You said softly. Peter gulped and nodded his head so you wouldn’t have to relive it. You let out a sigh and wiped your tears on the back of your hand.
“He didn’t even kiss me.” You laughed sadly. “He just shut the door and tried to unzip my dress. I pushed him away and yelled at him, and then he got upset that I was upset so he left me in there. I was too drunk to go after him so I just sat there for a while in the dark. By the time I came back down to the party, he was already making out with another girl.”
“What’s this guys problem? He got to take the most incredible girl in this city on a date and he blows it in every way possible? He’d be lucky to talk to you, let alone go out on a date with you. How could he not see what a privilege he had just to be near you?” Peter said with genuine anger.
“Thanks, Pete.” You chuckled and felt slightly better about the night. Peter was about to go off more until he saw the look on your face. You didn’t need to hear Peter’s gripe right now. You needed comfort.
“Should we kill him?” Peter asked after a beat of silence.
“I think so. Serita told me he’s got a bit of a reputation for this kind of thing. I had no idea.”
“I can’t believe Ned was right and this guy really was insane.” Peter said, making you laugh.
“I know. I guess this means we should listen to him more.” You laughed. Peter smiled at you before scooping you up again and kicking the door open.
“Woah. Where are we going?” You asked as he carried you straight out of the party.
“On a real date.” He replied and you fell silent. He carried you all the way to his apartment building and swung up to the roof.
“Stay here. I’ll be right back.” Peter said and he slipped out of his button down. He draped it over your shoulders to keep you warm before racing downstairs.
When he returned, he had a picnic blanket, his portable Death Star night light, a lunchables pizza, and two bottles of water. You smiled as he laid the picnic blanket down before patted the space beside him. You sat down and he wrapped a blanket from his bed around the both of you. You cracked open your water bottle and downed it while he put together the lunchables. He handed you one of the pizzas and you did cheers before silently eating them as the sun began to rise.
“Are you enjoying your meal, madam?” Peter looked away from the sunrise to ask you.
“Why, yes I am. This is one of the finer lunchables I’ve ever eaten. Compliments to the chef.” You played along.
“The chef thanks you kindly.” Peter replied and you both laughed.
A comfortable silence fell between the two of you for a minute as you watched the sky become pink. Peter looked over at you and felt his heart ache over the way the sun was lighting up your face with a warm glow. You were holding your blanket tightly around your body to shield yourself from the morning air and had your eyes shut to let the night wash away from you. Peter knew in that moment he was in love and it could not be unspoken any longer.
“So, uh, remember when we were in the bathroom before and you said we should listen to Ned more?” Peter began.
“That doesn’t sound like something I would say. But I guess so. Why?” You wondered and looked over at him. Peter looked you in the eyes and gulped.
“Ned was actually right about a second thing.”
“Two things? Is he going for a personal record?” You laughed. When you saw that Peter wasn’t laughing, you stopped smiling.
“What is it, Pete? Something bad?”
“No. Not bad. Just, um, just a little clarification, I guess.” Peter began.
“Clarification about what?”
“I know you heard me telling Ned that I didn’t like you. And I know that it hurt your feelings. Which I totally understand why it would. It was overkill. But what you overheard the was my frustrated attempt to get Ned to stop insisting that I liked you.”
“Oh. Okay.” You said slowly and never took your eyes off him. Peter stared into your eyes for the last time before everything changed.
“And the only reason he keeps insisting that is because it’s true. He was trying to get me to tell you how I felt and I snapped at him because I was scared that if I ever did tell you how I felt, you wouldn’t feel the same.” Peter finished. You stared at him for a long time but Peter couldn’t read your expression. You were definitely pensive but he didn’t know if you were upset with him or relieved to know the truth. You turned your face back towards the sunrise and stared out at it.
“Hm.” You hummed.
“Hm? That’s all you have to say?” Peter asked nervously.
“Sorry. I was just thinking about that part in the movie Alien when the two main characters get directions from that school of fish and all the fish take the shape of an arrow to show them which way to go.” You said very seriously. Peter shook his head before cracking up laughing.
“Wow. Ned must be on a roll because hearing my own joke repeated back to me makes me realize how unfunny it was.” He admitted, making you laughing.
“I still laughed.” You shrugged. “Even if it wasn’t funny.”
“You did.” He realized with a smile.
“Probably because I like you so much.” You shrugged again and stopped looking at the sunrise to look at him. Peters smile grew and he reached over to hand your hand in his. All that pining and anticipation had led to that moment of you finally admitted how you felt about each other.
“Yeah.” He smiled. “Thats probably why.”
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@nellabellaa @pinklxmonade @boogywoogywoogy
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mothmothwoth · 3 months
Text
so with the Wilbur situation happening and more people talking about Shubble I thought it’d be a good time to recommend and talk about Shubble stuff that I’ve loved and have lived rent free in my head for years. (All of which are older stuff, Shubble was my jam like 6 years ago)
Agents - This is a series that started out as the typical comedy bit where Shelby and their friend Max (Mithzan) pretend to be Secret agents on a mission. They play old Minecraft mini games and challenges and are just a really funny duo together and they play off really well. However they start to incorporate lore and returning characters into the videos which create an overarching story to the Agents series. The original series that came out in 2016 (ish?) Ends with the end of the world and many mysteries unexplained. However there is a prequel series Shubble made after the Original Agents which explore Agent Shed and Zeds backstory, how they met, and gives Shelby’s love interest (Death (or well actually its deaths son?? In the prequel he hasn’t taken over for his father yet) also yes Shelbys character has a crush thing on death) a personality and character as well. I loved this thing, honestly I still do love this series it’s silly and the mystery made me lose it as a kid. It honestly is still my jam I will most likely rewatch this one soon.
Mystery Hotel - This is a roleplay mystery series Shubble did that has less of the comedy and buddy cop duo of Agents but more story and an almost haunting vibe. It has Shelby as a person walking into a hotel hoping to get a room to crash for the night and being trapped in the hotel and the other guests rooms. The guests are all her friends and they play games and challenges and when they succeed the guests are free from their rooms. This one is more actually one off than agents but it has a really nice vibe and the people all seem to be having a good time doing this. There is also a heavy sprinkle of lore between the fun so it leaves you with questions and wanting to find out more. I honestly do not remember the ending because I watched it when it came out and it was a long time ago.
Shelby almost dies in a stairwell - This story time video has been in my head for 7 years. I NEED to tell someone about this. Shelby got trapped in the stairwell and this is her video about that. This video turned me off of conventions forever and gave me permanent paranoia of being stuck in a stairwell. I think I watched this video like 18 times when I first saw it and I cannot tell you why. AND THEN IT HAPPENED AGAIN. I cannot explain why these videos are so special to me they just are. Someone please tell me you share the experience of watching these I’m going to lose my mind.
but anyways Go watch Shubble they are silly, go watch her new content. Just. go bananas. Support Shubble (thumbs up)
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albonify · 3 months
Text
Nevermind, Let’s Hard Launch ! - Lando Norris
SUMMERY: Y/N has been reluctant to go public with her and Lando’s relationship, until she builds up enough courage to soft launch, but she gets bored.
WARNINGS: none, reader can speak french
french mon amor - my love, ma vie - my life
Y/N scoffs, putting her phone down. She is currently sitting on a yacht off the coast of Malta, curled up with her boyfriend, Lando, looking out at the water as she gently plays with his hair. Lando, hearing her scoff, looks up
“What’s up baby?” “Articles talking about how you have a new girlfriend this weekend, her names Alice by the way.”
He chuckles and opens his mouth to speak but Y/N cuts him off.
“She’s a brunette and totally your type!” she smiles as she mocks the article.
Y/N fakes a gasp, “Lando, ma vie, did you know that you apparently have a thing for tall brunettes? Because I sure didn’t.” she feigns shock before laughing. Lando just softly laughs at the girl’s antics.
“Baby, you know not to listen to those articles, because i’m pretty sure they’re wrong anyways. Im don’t think I know an Alice” he says, jokingly putting his thumb and index finger on his chin to feign thought.
“Oh i know ma vie, but they are quite funny to look at”, she laughs, “Besides”, she smiles and leans in, kissing him, “I know the truth”.
She smiles at him and gently intertwines their fingers. Lando smiles back at her and kisses her pinky finger, interlocked with his. It’s become a common place for the boy to kiss, having fallen in love with it when he first saw her freckle there.
“Just say the word and i’ll post us Y/N , you know i’ve been dying to let the the world know about you.” he states, looking at her.
“I know mon amor but I i’ve seen how girlfriends get treated online, and i am in no way ready for that.”
She sighs as she snuggles her head into the crook of Lando’s neck. Lando puts on a sad smile as he gently brushes through her hair.
“i know baby, but i promise, when we do go public, anyone who has hate to say will be dealt with, i wont let them get in the way of me and the girl i love.” Lando says softly.
Y/N smiles into his neck and leave a soft kiss to skin, she loves kissing his neck, its her sign of affection, totally nothing to do with the fact Lando just has a nice neck…
Lando, in return, moves her hair and kisses behind her ear, another common place for the boy to kiss, before his smile turns into a grin and he starts to gently tickle Y/N.
Y/n shouts softly “Lando no! stop!” inbetween her laughs.
Lando just start tickling her more adjusting their position so he is above her making it easier to tickle her, this time less gently as it prompts more laughs.
God how he loves Y/N’s laugh. he could listen to it all day.
It’s not until she starts kicking her feet against the couch that he stops.
Y/N looks at Lando, his grin still prominent as he catches his breath, his messy hair asking to be played with, and she thinks she falls more in love at the sight.
At the same time Lando just looks at her, her hair all disheveled, slightly out of breath, her cheeks pink, and her smile still beaming, its at this moment Lando knows it’s her forever.
“I love you so much baby” He says as he kisses her softly.
Y/N kisses him back saying, “I love you too mon amor, more than you could ever know”. She smiles before her eyes drift and Lando recognizes that look, she’s in thought.
He lays down softly kissing her cheek before looking at her, “What you thinking about baby?”.
Y/N looks up at the sound of his voice, “What if we soft launch?”.
Lando lights up at the idea of finally being able to show her off, “Are you sure love? we dont have to if you dont want to”.
“Yeah im sure mon amor, t we’ve been dating since our teens and i know it’s you Lan it always has been and it always will be, not even the internet will change that. so yes Lan, im ready.” She smiles softly reaching up to touch his hair.
Lando smiles brightly, slightly blushing at her comment, “Im glad because I feel the same way” He leans down and kisses her. When he comes back up his grin has become a smirk.
“Well what are we waiting for?” he asks “LET’s SOFT LAUNCH” Y/N laughs and grabs her phone.
landonorris
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liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 384001 others
landonorris summer break was epic
VIEW COMMENTS
user LANDO WHAT ITS THIS
oscarpiastri great break huh? 😏
-> user OSCAR WHAT DO YOU KNOW
-> landonorris yeah, it was pretty good!
-> user why are men so dry 😐
user THE SECOND SLIDE?!!! jdksndowmendk LANDO.
yourusername 🤍🐚
user IS THIS A SOFT LAUNCH
-> user did you hear that? that was my heart shattering.
user ladies i fear this is a soft launch, we lost him 😔
maxfewtrell wtf mate, why dont i know about this?
yourusername
🎶 High by the Beach - Lana Del Rey
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liked by bsf.user, friend1.user, and 209 others
yourusername 🌊🤍🐚
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bsf.user UHM HELLO?
bsf.user WHO IS THAT
bsf.user WHO IS TRYING TO STEAL MY GIRL
-> yourusername 🤷🏼‍♀️🤭
-> bsf.user UNACCEPTABLE.
bsf.user you look so absolutely stunning tho 🤍🤍
-> yourusername i love youuuu 🤍
friend1.user oh so we have a lot to catch up on then?
friend2.user oh youre glowing babes 💋
It’s been a few days since you and Lando soft launched. You were happy to see most people were supportive but you were still nervous.
“What you looking at baby?” Lando asks.
Right now you where tanning on the beach with a book in your hands, lando was soaked, having just came from the water. “Reading and thinking my love.” you reply.
Lando moves to lay on you, “what are you thinking about pretty girl?” he asks as he closes his eyes, joining her in sunbathing.
“Our soft launch” Y/N replies. At that Lando eyes widen, “is something wrong with it?” he asks worried.
“No my love, I was thinking about what if we did more.” “more?” Lando asks confused.
“Yeah like what if we hard launched?” Y/N said nervously picking at her cuticles.
Lando grabs her hands to stop her and looks at her, “You… want to… hard launch?” he asks her confused, knowing that she loved the privacy they had. “Yeah i know its you and i know the internet wont get in the way of us, so i want to hard launch”
“OMG OKAY im gonna go do that right now i love you” Lando quickly kisses her and runs to get his phone.
Y/N laughs at the boys excitement and grabs her phone waiting for whats next.
landonorris
🎶 Cupid’s Chokehold - Gym Class Heroes
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liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 875,527 others
landonorris 5 years with you, to forever more years. i love you forever my dear 🤍
tagged: yourusername
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yourusername the best 5 years of my life, cant wait for the rest. onto our forever my love 🧡.
yourusername
🎶 Always Forever - Cults
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liked by landonorris, bsf.user, and 145,683 others
yourusername i’ve loved you 5 years of my life and i plan to keep loving you for the rest. toi toujours, ma vie 🧡.
tagged: landonorris
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landonorris i cant wait to get married and get old with you. i love you now and forever flower 🤍.
🏷️’s
@fangirl-dot-com @lizzypiastri
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moonstruckme · 5 months
Note
Hey! I LOVE the comic you posted of the reader going to a club pre-relationship! I was wondering if you could write a part 2 to that of all of them going to a club together. With some jealousy, like when the reader goes to the bathroom on her way back she is getting flirted with by a random guy and the marauders reaction. Feel free to ignore
(Also I adore you comic that make my day every time I have re-read all of them at least 3 times!)
Hi lovely, thank you so much ! This took me forever to get to sorry, hope you enjoy it <3
part 1
cw: alcohol, unwanted/nonconsensual touch
roommate!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 1.3k words
Your shriek cuts through the loud music, and you turn to Remus with an open-mouthed grin. 
“This is my favorite song!” you shout. 
He laughs. In the past half hour, four songs have been your favorite. “Yeah?” he asks. 
You nod happily, throwing your hands above your head as you spin. You’re tipsy twirly, surprisingly sprightly considering you’ve downed enough shots to get Remus hammered, and he’s got several inches on you and has been drinking since he was thirteen. 
Sirius is in a similar state. Remus and James have been steering the two of you around for most of the night, but now James has put himself in charge of crisis prevention, playing goalie between either of you and the bar. 
“Oh be fun, Prongsie,” Sirius wheedles after getting spun around by the shoulders for the upteenth time. “I know you can be fun.” 
“I am fun,” James agrees. “I have my most fun when I’m not cleaning up your vomit. Go dance with y/n.” 
You’re game for this plan, giving Sirius an enticing smile and moving your hips to the music in a way that makes Remus’ mouth go completely dry. He knows he’s not the only person in this club who’s noticed, but thankfully the little circle the four of you have made in the dance floor stays clear of intruders. Thus far, your prediction has proved correct; no other men have come up to you with your roommates around. He’s not particularly distraught about it. 
You seem oblivious to your own allure, laughing when Sirius hurries toward you like a called puppy. You take his hands, letting him twirl you around and then holding your arms up to twirl him in return, and at the chorus, you both jump around so that your hair flies all about. Your laughter is loud and sparkling. Remus sips his drink, entranced. 
There are two more favorite songs before you careen towards him, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt. He hastily grips you by the elbow, wary of a fall, but you seem to have done this intentionally. You beam up at him, your smile lopsided and far less shy than anything he’s ever seen from you. 
“M’gonna go to the toilet,” you tell him, one word leading into the next like they’ve been sloppily tied together with string. 
“Oh, okay.” Of its own volition, Remus’ hand coasts up the back of your upper arm, then down to your elbow again. “Do you think you’re gonna be sick, honey?” 
Your face screws up as if this is taboo to mention. “What? No.” You make a funny pffting sound. “I’m miles off from that, I’m fantastic, it’s just,” you lower your voice, expression turning grave, “I think it’s time to break the seal,” you tell him meaningfully. 
This time it’s entirely intentional, but he also can’t help it. You’re just too cute. Remus sets his hand on the top of your head affectionately, grinning at you. “Alright, love, sounds good.” He looks around for the women’s bathroom, locating it a short distance away. “Want one of us to go with and wait outside for you?” It’s not like he can’t see it from here, but a girl as intoxicated as you probably shouldn’t be going anywhere by herself. 
“No, no, I’ve got it,” you say, patting his chest lightly. “Back soon.” 
It’s like you’ve disappeared into a mist, the way you fade into the crowd so quickly. It takes Remus a moment to spot the top of your head moving towards the bathroom. You turn around just before you go in, giving him a dazzling smile paired with a dorky thumbs-up. 
“Where’d she go?” James asks, holding his drink aloft while Sirius grabs for it. “And what has made you smile like that, Moony?” 
Remus makes a dismissive sound, but he feels his face heat as he takes a long sip of his own drink. James’ grin widens. 
“Ooh,” Sirius catches on. “What’d she say to you?” 
“Nothing. She’s gone to the toilet.”
Sirius’ kohl-rimmed eyes bulge, and James laughs, following his train of thought immediately. “Did she ask you to follow her? I didn’t think that was your style, you rake.” 
Remus rolls his eyes. “You’re depraved.” 
It’s not long before you reappear, catching Remus’ eye on your way out of the bathroom like you knew he’d be looking. You give him another of those heart-stuttering smiles and head his way, weaving your way through the crowd with a drunken expertise. 
A happy glow of anticipation starts up in his chest, but you’re intercepted on the way. Another head, taller, steps in front of you, blocking Remus’ view. He cranes his neck, but he can’t see you. 
He must make some sound or simply be emanating discontent, because James is back at his side in an instant. “What’s wrong?” 
“Someone’s talking to her. I can’t see her anymore.” He sounds ridiculous, like an overprotective douche, but he can’t imagine one can be too cautious when a drunk girl is surrounded by guys in a place like this. Remus is being purely practical. 
“Let’s go get her.” James is on board immediately, taking Sirius by the elbow and beginning to bulldoze his way through the crowd. Sirius grabs Remus’ hand just before the gap closes behind them, dragging him along. 
Remus hears you before he sees you. 
“Really, I appreciate it, but I’m not looking for anything.” Your voice sounds slightly tight, and Remus knows you well enough to tell by the sound of it that you’re giving whoever you’re talking to one of your big, fake smiles. 
A man’s voice says, low and sure, “You don’t mean that—” and that’s as far as he gets, because you interrupt to exclaim, with no small amount of relief, “My friends!” 
“Hi, sweetheart,” James says, and you’re right in front of them. You’ve cleaned up your makeup in the bathroom, the eyeliner that had transferred sweatily under your eyes now pristine again, and your smile is indeed giant and thin-lipped as you look between them and the man in front of you, subtly flaring your eyes. He reads the look clearly: Help, please!
Remus looks you over. The man has his hands on your hips and one of yours is around his wrist, a cautious touch. Sirius takes care of that quickly, wrapping his forefinger and thumb around the wrist closest to him and removing it like it’s a piece of trash he found on the street. 
“Do you two know each other?” Remus asks. Without permission, his voice comes out gruff and accusatory. 
“No,” you say speedily, taking a step towards Sirius. Towards them. “I was just on my way back to you guys, actually.” 
“We were talking.” The man looks between the three of them scrutinously, like they’re threats. Remus doesn’t hate the thought of being a threat to this guy. 
“Sounded like you were done talking, mate.” James smiles easily. You’d have to really know him to hear the sharpness in his tone. 
Sirius snakes an arm around your waist, but you don’t shy from the bold touch. In fact, you lean into him, your smile slowly beginning to resemble the genuine article. “Wanna get another drink, baby?” Sirius asks you, gaze salacious. 
“Mhm.” You bob your head eagerly, and he leads you off, James and Remus following. “Thanks for the help,” you tell them as soon as you’re away. “He didn’t, like, do anything, but it was a bit intimidating.” 
“Anytime, sweetheart,” James replies, expression going a bit stormy now that he’s done feigning lightness. “And I wouldn’t say he didn’t do anything, he shouldn’t have put his hands on you like that.” 
“It’s whatever,” you wave it off so easily Remus’ heart gives a little throb. “What’re we drinking?” 
“Oh, that was a ploy,” Remus says. “We’re done drinking, remember?” 
You pout, and Sirius hugs your side sympathetically (entirely for your benefit, Remus is certain). “You mean we’re done,” he sneers. “You and Prongs get to have however much you want. Who made you king of the beer?” 
“I think you did, actually,” Remus says thoughtfully. “At Mary’s New Year’s party, remember?” 
Sirius sniffs, presumably because he does not.
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tokyothirstygang · 1 year
Text
Your bff Chifuyu is everything a girl could want: hot, loyal, and adorably stupid. There’s only one problem with your golden boy…he thinks he’s bad in bed. Good thing he has a friend like you willing to help him improve his dick game
You’re lounging around on a Saturday night with your best friend, Chifuyu.
He seems distant as he sits on the couch with you, eyes trained on the TV but clearly spaced out.
“Chifuyu? Hello? Are you okay? You’ve seemed…off all day.”
He doesn’t respond until you grab a pillow and chuck it at his head.
“Hey! What the hell?”
He tries to throw the pillow back at you, but you catch it before it hits you.
“Sorry! I tried talking to you but you didn’t answer. What’s up with you? You’ve been weird since you got here.”
Chifuyu sighs and slumps down further into the couch.
“I can’t tell you. It’s too embarrassing.”
You turn to sit sideways on the couch to face him full on.
“I’ve literally seen you trip, rip your pants then land in dog poop. What could be more embarrassing that?”
His face flames at the memory.
“Hey, you said you’d never bring that up again!”
You fight off a smile, knowing it would only humiliate him further even though it was really funny at the time.
“Chifuyu forget about that. What’s bothering you? We tell each other everything.”
He bites at the cuticle around his thumb and bounces his leg up and down.
“Fine, but this conversation is never ever leaving this room, okay?”
You nod furiously, eager to know his big secret.
“Okay, well…last night I was with Anna, you know that girl I met at the bar? I don’t think she, uh, had a good time when we were together.”
Your eyebrows furrow.
“A good time doing what? Like hanging out with you?”
Chifuyu’s face hits full tomato status.
“No, not hanging out. When we were…” he trails off and it takes a moment for the realization to hit.
“Oh! When you were bed?”
Chifuyu groans in frustration and throws his head back.
“Yeah. It’s just-“ he reaches for a pillow and puts it over his face. “I don’t have that much experience. I know I’m not the best but I can’t be that bad, right?”
You accidentally snort at the question and he groans again.
“Im sorry! It’s just that we’ve never had sex so I wouldn’t really know what you’re like.”
“You know what? I really don’t want to talk about this right now. Forget I ever said anything.”
He leaves the couch and wanders over to the bar cart in the corner. He pours himself a shot of vodka and downs it immediately.
“You want one?” He asks and starts to pour you one before you even reply.
He comes back holding four shots- two for you two for him.
You both throw back all the shots, giggling and coughing the entire time.
When you’re both buzzed and warm, you catch yourself gazing at Chifuyu.
He was an extremely attractive man. Even if he wasn’t the best in bed yet any girl would still be lucky to have even bagged him in the first place.
That’s when your devious little mind gets an idea.
“Chifuyu…” your mouth starts talking before your brain can catch up and without realizing it, you say something that changes you both forever. “What if we had sex? If you think you’re bad in bed, you can practice with me.”
He stares at you, eyes wide and mouth slightly open.
“W-what?”
“I said…” You scoot closer to him.“let’s have sex.”
He still looks startled, but you don’t miss the way his eyes briefly linger on your lips.
“We don’t have to. I wasn’t trying to pressure you I just…I just…” his words gets lost in this throat.
The more he looks at you the more he can’t ignore how soft and inviting your lips look. He also can’t ignore the way your shirt is clinging to your tits or how your eyes are lighting up with that mischievous glint.
“So what if we do have sex? What then? We can’t just be the same after that, can we?”
You know he’s right but the topic has already been put on the table. No going back now.
“Things don’t have to change. You’re just practicing with me. You’re probably just getting nervous when you’re with other girls, but you know me, right? We can just have fun with it. It’ll be like…a science experiment!”
Chifuyu shakes his head at the comparison.
“You’re treating my dick like a science experiment?”
You both fall into a fit of laughter. The whole idea starts to seem ridiculous until you catch sight of Chifuyu nervously bouncing his leg again.
You start to turn your attention back to the TV when Chifuyu’s hand lands gently on your thigh.
When you look at him you see his pupils are dilated and his cheeks are flushed.
“If we do this…promise it won’t ruin things with us.”
“I promise.” You hold out your pinky, and Chifuyu grins as he links his with yours.
“Okay, then.” He shifts himself off the couch and down onto the floor. He’s on his knees in front of you, and you’re confused until he reaches for the waistband of your sweatpants.
“Lift up.” He demands, and you immediately obey. He slides the pants and your underwear off together then gently pulls you to the edge of the couch.
“Spread your legs for me.” A jolt of adrenaline rushes through you as you open your legs and expose yourself to him.
He takes a moment to admire the view in front of him before moving his lips to your inner thighs. He’s making a point of teasing you by giving attention to every spot except for where you need him most.
“Chifuyu… please.” When you lift your hips up, he takes the hint and gives you what you want.
Immediately its clear why someone wanting a quick hook up might hate chifuyu: he eats pussy like he’s in love with you.
He’s making out with it like it’s your mouth, passionately kissing, sucking and sliding his tongue around it like he’s waited his whole life to have you spread out in front of him like this.
He’s slow and intentional about it, holding your hands and listening to every little sound you make to see what you like the most. He’s going to make sure you feel every little thing, and he’s going make sure it feels fucking good.
You writhe beneath him, lifting your hips up to ride his face. He lets you control him. Whenever you push his face in deeper, he happily obliges while securing your thighs around his head with his strong hands.
“Fuck! Chifuyu…”
When you cum, you cum hard. Harder than anyone has ever made you cum from just foreplay alone.
When you finally recover from your orgasm, you’re in complete shock.
If this was any indication of what he was like in bed, all of those other girls were definitely idiots.
Chifuyu was going to ruin you.
“Jesus, Chifuyu. You’re so good at that.”
He blushes at the compliment.
“Really? Thanks, I-I wasn’t sure.”
You sit up, lean forward, and gently grab his face. You kiss him eagerly, not missing the taste of yourself on his tongue.
“Let’s go to my bedroom.” You suggest, and he nods, immediately pressing his lips to yours again as soon as you’re done talking.
You stumble back to your room, feverishly kissing the entire way. When you finally get there, you’re entirely naked and Chifuyu is down to his boxers.
“What position do you want to try first?” You finally pull away from him long enough to catch your breath. You sit down on the edge of the bed and look up at him.
“Uh…I’m not sure. Maybe-“
“Oh my god.” You accidentally cut him off mid sentence. While he was talking you snuck a peek at the bulge in his boxers. Unless your eyes are playing tricks on you, his cock has to be big.
“Wait, let me see.” You reach forward and roll his boxers down his thighs. When you finally get a good look at it, your mouth drops open.
“What? What’s wrong?” Chifuyu’s eyebrows furrow in confusion .
“Nothing, it’s just…huge.”
You’re not exaggerating. It’s a long, thick cock that’s guaranteed to split you in half.
“Is that okay? Do you think you could take it?” His genuine concern is adorable…and sexy.
“Y-yeah we can make it work. Just tell me what you want.”
He decides he wants you from behind first so you get on to your hands and knees and brace yourself for him.
When he tries to enter you, you immediately clench around the tip.
“Oh, shit.” Chifuyu sighs at the friction. “You might be too tight for me.”
“Just go slow. I can take it.” You’ve never had someone as big as Chifuyu and now that you’re presented with the opportunity, you can’t back down.
He reaches around you and starts rubbing circles into your clit.
“Is that better?”
You nod, dizzy at the feeling of being slowly stretched and filled up.
When you manage to take him halfway, he leans down and presses kisses onto your spine.
“You’re doing so good for me. Shit, just keep taking it like that.”
That’s when you know Chifuyu has lost himself to his lust. Level headed Chifuyu would be way too shy to say something like that. You have officially entered uncharted territory with him.
As he sinks in a little more, he tests the waters by giving you two steady, deep thrusts. When you immediately cry out, he smiles to himself.
“Look at you. Already falling apart for me.”
You sigh and bite your lip as you grab a pillow and lie face down ass up.
Chifuyu takes that as a sign you’re ready and willing for him so he starts pounding into you.
Your brain doesn’t even know what sound to focus on: his growls, his hips crashing into you or your own screams of pleasure.
Within minutes he has you cumming all over him, chanting his name and gripping the sheets.
He waits for you to ride out your orgasm before he flips you over on to your back. You’re still seeing stars when he directs your attention to his dick.
"Look what you did to me.”
Around the middle of it is a sticky, white ring.
“Creaming all over my fucking cock when I was barely inside you.”
You’re still in complete awe at the way he’s been talking to you. You initiated the sex thinking you were going to teach him some tricks but instead he was unlocking new kinks for you.
“Come here.” He backs off the bed and stands in front it. He pulls you up and to the edge of the mattress. “Clean up your mess.”
When you look up into his eyes you see they’re dark and animalistic.
Your sweet Chifuyu is gone.
You take him into your mouth, almost immediately gagging because of his size. If you thought taking him into your pussy was hard, this was on a whole other level.
He gently rocks his hips forward, sliding himself in and out of your mouth.
Your eyes are watering and you can barely breathe but he looks so gorgeous with his head thrown back and eyes closed you let him keep using you.
You continue to suck and choke on his cock for a couple of minutes before he finally pulls it out.
“I’m gonna cum if you keep doing that. Get back on the bed for me.”
You assume he wants to go back to where you’d left off but he stops you as you try to get back on all fours.
“No, baby. Lie on your back for me.”
You do as he says and before you know he’s got your legs spread open and thrown over his thighs.
“I wanna see your pretty face while you take it.”
Just like that he’s sliding back into you, stretching you and making you feel full before he’s even started fucking.
When he finally does start moving his hips forward, you swear he’s going to rip you in half.
“Fuck! Chifuyu…you’re so…so big...” Your words only encourage him to keep going, and when he miraculously sinks fully into you, you both cry out.
“Shit…you’re the only one who’s been able to take me like this.” He confesses, sliding his hand down to toy with your clit. “Your pussy must be made for me.”
He intently watches your face and when his cock finds the spot that makes your eyes roll back, he keeps hitting it until you’re speechless.
You want to yell his name, moan in pleasure, and tell him you’re about to cum but it feels too good to do anything but just take it.
He feels you getting close and leans down to your eye level. He presses his forehead against yours while he strokes you slow and deep.
“I know you want to cum, baby.” He whispers and your toes curl. “Just let me have it. Make a mess on my cock.”
You find your voice again as your orgasm hits you hard. You scratch at his back as you scream his name over and over.
“Shit…ugh…baby…” Chifuyu pulls out and strokes himself a few times before he cums all over your stomach.
When he flops down in bed next to you, you’re completely confused.
“So, wait a minute…why exactly did you think you’re bad in bed?”
He lets out a shaky laugh as he tilts his head to look at you.
“I don’t know. I could never get it in all the way. I thought maybe they weren’t turned on enough to take it. Like maybe they didn’t really like me or something.”
You smack him with a pillow for the second time that night.
“You idiot! They couldn’t take it because you’re big not because they didn’t like you.”
Chifuyu glances at his dick as he considers it.
“Huh… maybe you’re right?”
You roll your eyes and playfully shove him.
“I think you’ve been in too many fights. Your brain is only operating at 5% these days.”
He chuckles as he rolls out of bed. He leaves the room and returns with a towel for you.
As you clean yourself off, you see Chifuyu sitting on the edge of the bed bouncing his leg again.
“So…how was I? You can tell me the truth.”
It’s baffling that he’s nervous again after everything you’d just gone through together.
“Chifuyu Matsuno, you have officially ruined other men for me.”
____
Shout-out to all the big dick Chifuyu stans I hope everyone survived this story because I was losing my mind writing it 🥵 lmao
____
@sherlockscumslut @tomiokas-lunchbox
@kindbitch
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taeyongdoyoung · 1 month
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strawberries & sunshine
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summary: your adorable best friend takes you to a picnic in a secluded spot but his intentions may be far from innocent... pairing: haechan x reader genre: smut, established relationship warnings: cnc/dubcon, corruption kink, innocence kink, pet names (angel, sweetie, my flower, etc.), mention of doctors/made-up sickness, manipulation, bf2l roleplay, inappropriate touching, rubbing, fingering, unprotected sex (pls dont), public sex (there is no one around but still), creampie, safeword is referenced but not used, swearing, degradation (reader is called slut), aftercare author's note: this concept has been haunting me for a while now and i finally gathered enough courage to put it into words 🥴 word count: 1.7k
Your best friend is the sweetest guy in the universe. Haechan is thoughtful, funny and always does kind gestures like bringing you flowers or your favourite chocolates without asking for anything in return. Despite being talkative himself, he always listens to you rant about what’s bothering you, checking to see if you want advice or simply emotional support.
Haechan is also very cute and pretty. Spending time with him truly energizes you and you trust him to have your best interests at heart 100%. Which is why you don’t think twice when he asks you to go on a picnic with him. You love eating and nature, but more importantly, you love being around Haechan, so you find no reason to worry.
When he first mentioned this idea, you assumed you two would go to a park inside the city. But now that the sunny day you chose for your picnic finally arrives, you are stunned that Haechan is driving you two out of the city, entering the mountain nearby.
“Woah, isn’t that a little far away?” you ask in amazement.
“Relax, angel, I’ll take you to the prettiest place,” Haechan responds.
You nod absentmindedly, not even a little bit concerned.
After what seems like forever, Haechan stops the car. He insists on carrying the picnic basket, as well as the blanket, and leads the way into the woods. You walk for around 15 minutes when you are eventually greeted by gorgeous green grass, surrounded by tall trees and birds chirping.
“It’s so lovely, Haechan! How did you find this?”
“I like exploring every once in a while,” he shrugs humbly.
You lay down the blanket, spread out the insides of the picnic basket and sit down, satisfied with the results. There are strawberries, little croissants, ham and cheese sandwiches, French macarons, some homemade kimbap and lemonade. It is so peaceful and quiet here, you really needed an escape from the big city.
You don’t talk much, too busy eating, enjoying the sweet strawberries, the bright sunshine and the lovely atmosphere.
“Oof, I’m so full,” you groan at some point.
“That’s the whole point of picnics, isn’t it?” Haechan chuckles.
“So true!” you laugh.
You two put the remaining food back into the basket and place it on the grass, making space for you to lie down on the blanket.
“To be honest, I’m still kinda hungry,” Haechan murmurs bashfully.
“What? Why didn’t you say so before we put the food away?” you exclaim in surprise.
“Not hungry for anything inside the basket.”
“What do you mean?” you ask innocently.
“I’m not just hungry, I’m also in a lot of pain.”
“Huh? Should we go back to the city for you to see a doctor?” you are instantly concerned for your friend’s well-being.
“Oh, I’ve talked to many doctors already and they all said the same thing. There is only one cure possible for my sickness,” Haechan explains patiently.
“Well, what is it? If there’s anything I can do to help you…” you offer without thinking.
“There is, actually. But do you promise to do anything for me? You’re my best friend, right? You wouldn’t want me to be in pain?”
“Of course not, Haechan! I promise I’ll try to help you but you gotta tell me what kind of pain are you talking about?”
“How about I show you instead?” Haechan’s lips tilt in the slightest of smirk. You are confused by the change of his expression, when he grabs your hand and puts it on his heart. “First, it hurts here.” Then, he moves it so that your hand is now placed on top of his cock. “But it also hurts here.”
“Oh, Haechan,” you sympathize with him. Truly. “This is so strange but I think I might have the same sickness?”
You take hold of his hand and place it on your breasts.
“It hurts me here, as well,” you blink at him softly, then move his hand to your clothed pussy so he touches it through your floral dress. “And here.”
“My angel, I had no idea you were also suffering from this cruel sickness. Do you think maybe…we could be each other’s cure?”
“I don’t know, Haechan…Isn’t it wrong to feel this way?” you express your doubts.
“Oh no, sweetie, it’s completely normal, at least that’s what the doctors said. If we help each other, the pain will disappear.”
“Well, then I guess it’s for the best,” you concede. “The hurt is becoming quite uncomfortable.”
“Same here, my flower. I think we should hurry if we want to cure ourselves of this terrible illness.”
Haechan wastes no more time trying to convince you and climbs on top of you, pressing you down. He spreads your legs apart with one hand, touching and brutally rubbing you through your panties.
“Hyuck, n-no, this isn’t right,” you cry out and try to push him away.
“Shh, my sweet, I’m just trying to cure you first. Don’t you want it?”
“N-no, I’m not sure anymore, please stop,” you whine helplessly but he is too strong to fight off.
“It’ll be over before you know it, just stop struggling, my dear,” Haechan assures you and continues to attack your pussy with his hand. Eventually, he tears your panties apart, sticking his long fingers inside of you.
“P-please, you don’t ha-have to do this,” you try your best to resist but your damn pussy betrays you, squelching noises revealing your juices all for your best friend to see and hear. You would be embarrassed if you aren’t so turned on right now. You come around his fingers so quickly and powerfully that you are unable to think clearly any longer.
“You can help me now, no? I healed you, so now it’s your turn to give me the cure,” Haechan tries to talk you into this.
“I don’t know…” you shake your head. “Maybe there’s another way.”
“There isn’t. Trust me, okay?” Haechan insists. “You promised…”
His reminder, paired with his soft yet cruel smile is more than enough to convince you. But you say nothing as he unbuckles his belt, lowers his boxers and enters you in one swift movement.
“N-no, it h-hurts, Hyuck, p-please,” you whimper around him, as he goes deeper than you could ever imagine, stretching you out to your absolute limits.
“Take it, you slut, going alone into the woods with a guy, acting as if you had no idea what’s gonna happen to you,” Haechan’s words are so unkind, so unlike the sweet guy you’re used to seeing.
“I didn’t know, I swear,” you insist, pushing against his chest with your tiny hands.
“Shut the fuck up,” he laughs meanly, grabbing your wrists and pinning them above your head.
“N-no, this is wrong, H-hyuck,” you sniffle pitifully. “We’re best friends, we shouldn’t do things like that.”
“Well, best friends ought to help each other no matter what. So, take it like the good little slut you are and cure me of this sickness you caused,” Haechan keeps fucking into you, making you feel so full and satiated.
“Am not a slut,” you argue.
“Oh yeah? Then, why didn’t you wear a fucking bra, huh?” Haechan asks, letting go of your wrists and sliding his hand under your dress, grabbing your tits roughly.
“F-for you,” you admit shamelessly. “Wanna be your good girl, Hyuck.”
“Too bad, because I wanna turn my good girl into a slut,” he snickers at you, spilling his seed inside of your pussy. You come around him without thinking and are foolish enough to think he’s done with you. Taking his cock out and using his fingers to fuck the cum threatening to spill out back into your pussy. You are too exhausted to fight back but you do your best anyway.
“W-what are you doing?”
“Making sure the cure is permanent,” Haechan explains calmly as if it is the most obvious thing in the world.
Then, without bothering to ask, he flips you around so that you are on your knees, face down, and slips back inside of you smoothly.
“N-no, that’s enough!” you scream in frustration.
“It’s enough when I say it’s enough,” Haechan grunts loudly.
“Nngh, aren’t we cured already?”
“What are you talking about? The disease is only spreading further,” Haechan laughs maniacally at this point.
“Haechan, please, stop, I can’t…” you cry and plead and whimper, again and again.
“You know what to say if you really want me to stop,” Haechan reminds you. But when you say nothing, he continues using your body, right there in the middle of the woods, too far away from society, where no one could possibly hear you asking for help, where you are left entirely at your best friend’s mercy.
Eventually, he exhausts himself after cumming too many times, inside of you, on your back, on your belly, and all over the poor blanket. Haechan reaches his hand out to get water from the picnic basket, thoughtfully giving it to you. After you are both done drinking, he does his best to clean you up and make sure you are...well, alive. Taking a deep breath, he lies down next to you, enveloping you in a warm and soft hug.
“Was that too much?” he wants to know and brushes a piece of hair behind your ear gently. You melt under his touch, just like always.
There he is. Your sunshine boyfriend is back.
“No, it was perfect. So much better than what we talked about previously,” you reply honestly.
“I wasn’t too mean to my baby, was I?” Haechan needs to make sure.
“Just the right amount of mean,” you laugh. “Did I play the innocent angel part well enough?”
“Too well,” Haechan praises your acting skills. “Maybe because you were my innocent best friend back when we first met.”
“And look where that got me,” you sigh. “Miles away from home, overflowing with cum, no one to save me. Such a tragic fate.”
“Oh, come on, don’t pretend you don’t like it,” Haechan rolls his eyes.
You lean in to kiss him softly.
“Loved every minute,” you admit. Then, you grab his chin firmly. “But next time, I’ll be the one corrupting you.”
The End
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in-som-niyah · 1 month
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hi!! i’m literally so obsessed with your work i’ve been scrolling your profile all day 😭😭 i was wondering if you could write something about jason x fem!reader getting married? mostly fluff but ill never say no to some good smut
a/n: "i’m literally so obsessed with your work i’ve been scrolling your profile all day" WHAT DO YOU MEANNNNNNNN STOP UR GONNA MAKE ME CRY THIS IS EVERYTHING TO ME HELLO??? like wdym u like my work so much u spend so much time on my blog i love u gimme kiss
anyway this prompt is *chefs kiss* bc we all know Big Bad Jason Todd™ is such a loverboy softie but most of all he loves hard.
I think that before he met you he never thought that he would be so enamoured with someone who also feels the same way about him at the same time, that also wants to marry him??? He thinks he's too flawed and violent and abrasive for someone to even like being around him. So marrying him??? haha you're funny.
But after YEARS (yes, it takes him years of a committed relationship with you to fully trust that you actually like being with him for an extended period of time, let alone forever) of handling his emotions, outbursts and injuries with grace while still giving him a whack at the back of his head when he's being stupid, he considers marrying you.
Remember, Jason Todd is fucking scared himself, and he doesn't want to scare you off with a ring that literally promises forever with him. Though he loves you, he wants you to be happy in the end. Will you be happy with him in the end?
It takes a lot of mental and emotional strength to overcome these fears that swirl around his head.
When he does get over it though, he's so attentive yet sneaky when picking your ring. There's a luxury jewellery store on the way to your favourite clothing store at the mall, and he literally takes you to the whole mall just to pass by the store. He always looks to see what your eyes catch, what you like and don't like. Doesn't matter if he ends up spending hundreds since you're at the mall so much, he'll do it just to make sure he gets exactly what you want.
Jason also uses his extensive detective training to find out what cut and stone you want on the ring. He's ok with diamonds, but would want something more unique and personal for his love. He wants something that always reflects you, no matter the occasion.
Side note: once the ring comes he would definitely put together a photo album of pics he took of the ring in plain sight while you're completely oblivious just for shits and giggles
Finally, when it's time to pop the question, he doesn't do flashy and big productions with lights and letters and petals and stuff.
He would be dancing in the kitchen with you on a lazy Saturday, eating pancakes and bacon and when the song ends just casually asks "if I were to ask you, would you marry me?" Now he looks collected as he lovingly smiles down at you but is actually shitting himself until you say that you would in fact marry him if he asked. Then he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out the most perfect, detailed, gorgeous ring you could ever ask for while properly asking you to marry him. Cue the waterworks (from both of you) and the celebratory make-out sesh.
Y'all definitely fucking the night of the proposal though
I feel like it would be realllllly possessive since yk you literally belong to him now
"tell me who this pussy belongs to, pretty girl" Knowing full well you can't answer because your eyes have already rolled back mid-stroke and you're babbling incoherently. It does, however, put a smug ass smirk on his face.
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a/n pt2 bc i can't shut up: i hope u like it!!! i wasn't in the mood to write anything smutty but idk im in my soft era for jason i just want his stoic self to love me :(((((
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inbarfink · 3 months
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Okay, so, I know this is kind of a Stupid Thing to Focus on but… I’ve been rewatching ‘Friends Forever’ (still one of my favorite and most complex and most heart-wrenching Ice King episodes) and I’ve been thinking about the bit where Ice King tries to research how to be smart…
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We can see him reads from what very much seems to be part of Simon Petrikov's journals. Considering that it details the aftermath of the Mushroom War.
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In addition, while the shelves are made of ice, much like the bookshelves Ice King has in his throne room, this is clearly a much... robust archive
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which much more resembles Simon Petrikov’s library/research room.
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The table IK uses also seems to be a match to the one in the research room. At least in terms of colors
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So, it might be a different Room Full of Books that Simon placed in his Castle before he truly 100% lost it, or it might be the same one we see in 'Betty' but with a minor continuity error when it comes to what the shelves are made from. Either way, from the aforementioned journal, we know this library probably contains books Simon had personally written
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But considering the Amount, probably not all of them. (Especially if you assume there are two separate library rooms). Maybe he came back to his old house to gather up all the prewar academic books he owned, but that still seems like an Unusually High Amount of Books. I think he probably kept gathering and writing books as he was slowly turning into Ice King. Like, by the time the show started he was basically totally gone - but a couple hundred years ago he’d have brief moments of lucidity and start writing again or searching books that could help him deal with the curse.
Which makes me wonder about this book.
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I know that it’s just a silly funny joke, but…
Like, a Big Undertone of ‘Friends Forever’ is Ice King’s insecurities and frustrations with his own stupidity and lack of maturity. And with Simon’s library showing up in the middle of the episode like it did, it’s hard to forget that Simon used to have the intelligence and maturity needed to speak with all of these living furniture on equal terms, but his mental facilities have been eroded by the madness of the Crown and now he can’t and these frustrations manifest even though Ice King isn’t fully aware of that fact.
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And this book, I know that the title just playing directly into Ice King’s insecurities is just the Joke but also…
I’m thinking about Ice King/Simon when he was a bit more lucid. Aware that he’s going mad and it's getting harder and harder for him to think clearly and that makes it so much harder to find a solution and expressing a lot of that same anger that Ice King expresses outwards towards the Living Furniture - inwards.
I’m wondering if Simon specifically sought out that book because he felt like he was ‘turning dumb’.
I’m wondering if Simon could’ve written this book. Some sort of last final act of impotent rage against the person he was turning into, frustration at his growing inability to think like he used to, even though he couldn't even remember his own name anymore - only that he was the 'Smarty McBrainypants' part of his old identity.
That would explain why it’s such a worn and rugged book...
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waitimcomingtoo · 8 months
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Dick’s
pairing: Peter Parker x reader
synopsis: the only good part of your job at Dick’s Sporting Goods is how often Peter comes in to buy repairs for his suit
Masterlist
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“Back so soon?”
“What?” Peter looked up and pulled his earbud out when he heard you say something. You chuckled when you heard the music coming through his earbuds and continued scanning the spandex shirt he was buying.
“You were here two nights ago.” You reminded him. “And four days before that. You’re here all the time, actually.”
“Yeah, I am. How’d you know that?” Peter blushed as you handed him the bag of his stuff. You looked around for anyone who might be listening before motioning for Peter to come closer. His blush deepened and he leaned across the register.
“I work here.” You whispered in his ear. You cracked a smile as you leaned back and pointed to the Dick’s Sporting Goods logo on your uniform shirt.
“Right.” He laughed shyly. “Sorry.”
“It’s all cool. I’m sorry that I work here too.” You shrugged, making Peter laugh again.
“It can’t be that bad, can it?”
“The name of the store is Dick’s.” You said flatly. “And apparently, that’s the only kind of people they hire here.”
“Yeah. I asked someone for help finding the nuts and bolts and he asked if I looked in my mouth.” Peter admitted. Your jaw dropped in surprise before you burst out laughing.
“Who was it?” You asked him. “Did he have red hair?”
“Yeah. In the hardware section.”
“Fucking Jeremy. I’ll kick his ass for you, okay? I’m pretty sure he’s like 13 or something but I’ll still do it.” You said, and Peter couldn’t tell if you were joking or not.
“That’s really not necessary.” He laughed shyly.
“All right.” You nodded. “Just know that I would. I’ve been looking for a reason to kick his ass anyway.”
“Why?” Peter wondered.
“Didn’t you see his face? It’s so punchable. Plus, he watches videos in the break room at full volume with no earbuds in. And if he thinks the video is funny, he’ll rewatch it multiple times. So then we all have to hear this loud, unfunny video multiple times. It drives me crazy. He deserves to get his ass kicked. I might do it just for fun now.”
“His face was pretty punchable.” Peter admitted.
“Can we hurry this up? This is taking way too long.” A man behind Peter complained, making your smile fall.
“That’s what she said.” You mumbled as you grabbed Peters receipt.
“To him.” Peter replied. You looked up at him and smiled in surprise.
“Because he’s probably bad at sex.” Peter explained in a weak voice.
“No, I got it. And I appreciated it. Thanks.”
“No problem.” Peter laughed shyly.
“One last question for you. Then I have to help Mr. Clean with his very important purchase of golf ball cleaner.” You said as you nodded towards the guy behind Peter.
“Oh, sure. Ask away.”
“Are you listening to Judas by Lady Gaga?” You asked and pointed to Peters earbuds. He turned red in embarrassment and thought about lying, but you clearly already knew.
“It’s her best song.” He said simply.
“Oh, I know that.” You assured him. “I just wanted to make sure that you know that.”
“Oh, I do.” He matched your tone, making you smile.
“Well all right then. Have a good night. See you really soon probably.” You teased him.
“Yeah. See you soon.” Peter smiled at you as he took his receipt.
Peter practically skipped out of Dicks that night. He frequented the store every time his suit needed a repair and had seen you working there a few times, forever looking miserable behind the cash register. He just never thought you’d notice him too.
A few nights later, Peter busted the eye on his mask while on patrol. He dropped his suit off at home and when to Dick’s Sporting Goods to get something to replace it. When he brought it up to the register to buy and smiled when he saw you.
“Hey.” You smirked at him and blew a bubble with your gum.
“Hey.” He smiled softly at you.
“Gum?”
“What?” He asked. You wordlessly held up a pack of Big League Chew and blew another bubble.
“Oh, no thank you. I’m driving.” He replied without thinking. He felt embarrassed for malign a stupid joke but you cracked up over it.
“I use that joke all the time.” You laughed. “Except I usually say “no thanks, I’m trying to quit.” I haven’t heard that one before.”
“I like yours better.” Peter tried to flirt.
“You can steal it. I won’t mind.” You winked at him and blew another big pink bubble. Peter gulped as you handed him his bag.
“Thanks. Have a good night.”
“You too.” You called after him as he left the store.
He returned a few days later, not that he needed anything. He was here for you this time. He came into the store at night with a plan to learn your name. It wasn’t much, but it was a step towards getting to know you better.
“Hey, Judas Boy.” You waved to Peter from behind the register.
“Hey, Dick’s girl.” He waved back and grabbed some spandex before heading to the register.
“Oh, thank God.” You said sarcastically. “You haven’t bough red and blue spandex shirts in almost a week. I was worried you were going to run out.”
“I almost did. This week has not been easy.” Peter humored you. You smiled when he played along and put his stuff into a bag.
“How come you guys don’t wear name tags?” Peter asked you as he put his plan into action.
“We’re supposed to. We’re also supposed to wear hard shoes and khaki pants.” You said behind your hand and pointed your foot out from behind the register to show him your leggings and crocs.
“I see. Not much of a rule follower?”
“I can be. But not for Dicks. Nothing for Dicks.” You said with such passion he couldn’t tell if you were kidding or not.
“But where else can you find a spandex section like this?” Peter joked and held up his bag.
“Models. Target. Walmart. Patagonia.“ You started to list off.
“Okay, sure.” Peter agreed. “But Dicks is the only one that carries red and blue.”
“Oh, I see. And red is blue is the only kind you can buy?” You chuckled.
“Obviously. What am I supposed to wear? Black?” Peter grimaced, making you laugh again.
“Why do you need all this stuff anyway? I’ve always wondered that. Why could you possibly be doing that you need all this red and blue spandex clothing?”
“Cause I’m Spiderman.” Peter said with a simply shrug. He held his breath and hoped you take that as a joke, which of course, you did.
“That’s hot.” You smirked and handed him his receipt.
“Have a good night.” He told you.
“Night.”
Peter was back just a few nights later. He never actually learned your name, so he technically had an excuse to return. He brought a spandex shirt up to the register and you laughed when you saw it.
“I think you’re single handedly funding our red and blue spandex supply.”
“Really? I’m the only one who buys it?”
“Just you.” You nodded. “My boss said he wasn’t gonna order anymore but I told him that would be making one special customer very unhappy.”
“You told him to order more just for me?” Peter smiled shyly and felt his blush go all the way to his ears.
“Duh.” You scoffed. “I gotta earn that sweet, sweet $15 an hour somehow. Pleasing one specific customer is how I choose to do it.”
“$15 an hour to work by yourself every night is insane. But I don’t even get paid for my job, so I’m not one to talk.”
“What is your job?” You wondered.
“I told you. I’m Spiderman.”
“No, but really.” You laughed. Peter looked down at the spandex and tried to think of any other profession that could explain why he was always buying it.
“I’m a male ballerina.” He said finally.
“For real?” Your eyes widened. “That’s way cooler.”
“Cooler than Spiderman?”
“Hell yeah.” You scoffed. “I’ve never seen Spiderman do a pas de deux.”
“I’ve never seen anyone do a pack de- um…”
“Pas de deux.” You chuckled when he couldn’t say the word.
“Yeah. That.” He blushed again.
“Have a good night then, nutcracker.” You said with a wink.
“Night, Dick‘s girls.”
The next time Peter came into the store, he had to stay away from the spandex section. May was getting suspicious about why he was buying so much when his suit didn’t have any visible damage, so he had to think of something else.
“Gummy worms?” You asked as Peter dropped a bag of sour gummy worms on the counter.
“You sell them. So I’m buying them.” He shrugged. You laughed as you scanned it and looked up at him.
“Do you live around here?”
“About 4 blocks away.” He answered. “Why?”
“Because this is New York. Which means you had to have passed, at the very least, 4 corner stores to get here. All of which sell gummy worms. And yet, you chose to walk all the way to a sporting goods store to get them. Why is that?” You asked as you leaned on the counter.
“I didn’t need spandex tonight.” He admitted as a blush painted his cheeks.
“Then why’d you come out here?” You smirked.
“Because I’m a stalker. And I’m learning your schedule so I can smite you and wear your skin.” He replied without thinking. He held his breath again but was sure you would not find a joke about him killing you to be funny. But to his surprise, you smirked in amusement.
“That’s hot.” You said replied. “Can you cover my shifts for me once you start wearing my skin?”
“Sure.” He shrugged.
“Cool. Enjoy your worms.” You chuckled and handed him his candy. Peter was about to leave when he decided to rip open the bag and hand you a worm.
“For your troubles, madam.” He said, then made a dash for the door. He heard you laughing as he walked out into the street, making it all worth while.
Peter returned to the store the next day but felt his heart sink in disappointment when he didn’t see you behind the register. He turned to leave and jumped when you were standing right behind him.
“Have you ever seen Black Swan?” You asked him.
“What? Jesus Christ. You scared me.” He said and put his hand over his pounding heart.
“You’re a male ballerina, right? You must’ve seen Black Swan.”
“No. I’ve never heard of it.” Peter answered as his eyes darted to the side.
“That was the face of a man who has 100% seen lezzy wet dream scene from Black Swan.” You laughed and pointed to him.
“Maybe once or twice.” His whispered.
“Well I’m going on break now and I was gonna go watch it in the storage room.”
“Oh. That sounds fun.”
“You wanna come?” You asked him like it was the most casual suggestion in the world. Peter looked around to see if any customers or employees were watching before following you into the back. He knew he shouldn’t be walking through a door that said “employees only”, but he wasn’t about to pass up an opportunity to hang out with you.
“Am I allowed back here?” Peter whispered and stayed close behind you.
“Probably not.” You shrugged and led him to the storage room. You shut the door behind the two of you and sat down on one of the shelves.
“Will you get in trouble?” Peter asked as he took a seat beside you.
“Maybe.” You shrugged again and pulled the movie up on your phone.
“I don’t want to get you in trouble with your manager. I’d feel horrible.”
“Dude, my manger is 17 and high as a kite right now.” You snorted. “He won’t care as long as we don’t interrupt his vape session.”
“Oh. Okay.” Peter relaxed and leaned against the wall. You shoulders were touching and he realized this was the closest you’d ever been.
“Here. I didn’t want to subject you to using a strangers earbuds so I stole this from the front.” You said as you pulled new earbuds out of your pocket. You tore them out of the plastic casing and plugged them into your phone before offering Peter one.
“They’re your favorite colors, right?” You asked in a soft voice. The earbuds were red and blue, the only colors Peter ever bought. They weren’t actually his favorite colors, just the color of his suit, but he thought it was cute that you specifically got this pair thinking he’d like the colors.
“Yeah. Red and blue are great.” He smiled softly and put his earbud in. You put the other in and started the movie. Peter couldn’t pay attention to a single second because the smell of your perfume was triggering all his senses. He stared at you instead of the screen until his eyes landed on the earbuds connecting you.
“I can’t believe you stole for me.” He said with a smug grin.
“Relax. I don’t do it often. But I did also steal these for you.” You said and pulled a pack of gummy worms out of your other pocket. Peters face lit up and he opened the worms before handing you one. Your fingers touched at one point when you both reached for a word and he gulped.
“When did you take these anyway?” He wondered.
“A couple hours ago when I first clocked in.” You replied. “I made sure to wait until I was on the company’s time before I took them. I don’t do anything here until I’m on the company’s time.”
“So you knew you were going to ask me to watch this with you when you first got here?” He asked as a smile crossed his face. You looked up from the movie and sheepishly turned to face him.
“You always come in at this time. And I’ve always wanted to see this movie. I figured you’d like it because you like ballet. Is that weird?” You asked, sounding nervous for the first time.
“No. It’s not weird.” Peter shook his head to assure you. You smiled in appreciation and nodded before turning back to the movie. Peter was able to focus on it now, but couldn’t stop sneaking glances at you.
“I love getting paid to watch gay movies.” You sighed happily as the movie neared its end.
“You need to make money somehow. God, I need a job. I’m gonna go broke from this store alone.”
“You’ve never looked at your receipt, have you?” You chuckled and looked over at him.
“No. Why?”
“Every time you come in here, I only charge you for tic tacs.” You admitted. “No matter what you buy, I just remove the tag and then scan a pack of wintergreen tic tacs.”
“Wait, seriously? Why?” He smiled curiously and turned to face you.
“Because then I can eat the tic tacs without feeling bad about stealing since you paid for them.” You shrugged. “And so that you don’t give all your money to Dick’s Sporting Goods just to fuel your spandex fetish. You only ever spend a dollar or so when you come here. I can’t believe you never realized that.”
“So you’ve been saving me money this whole time? Those shirts are like $15 each.”
“Isn’t that crazy?” You chuckled. “An hour of my work is worth a single, thin shirt. That makes me feel less guilty about never making you pay.”
“You’re really cool for that. Thanks.” Peter said sincerely.
“Yeah, well. I think you’re cool too.” You shrugged and looked down so he couldn’t see your smile. Peter stared at you with a dreamy smile on his face until he noticed the clock behind you.
“How long is your break?” He wondered.
“15 minutes.” You shrugged.
“15 minutes?! We’ve been back for over an hour.” Peter whispered harshly.
“Jeremys got it.” You waved your hand. “I cover for him all the time. He owes me.”
“Okay, good.” Peter sighed. “As long as you won’t get in trouble.”
“Will you stop worrying about me? I’ll be fine. You need to start breaking a few rules every now and then. Do you always do exactly what you’re expected to?”
“You’d be surprised.” Peter mumbled and debated telling you the reason he was always buying red and blue spandex. You noticed he had a far off look in his eyes and moved his chin to make him look at you.
“You never told me your name, by the way.” You said in a soft voice.
“It’s Peter.” He replied as his eyes dropped to your lips. “What’s yours?”
“Y/N!” Jeremey came barging into the m storage room, making you and Peter jump away from each other.
“Oh, there you are.” Jeremy smiled calmly. “Can you help me ring this guy up? He has a coupon but it’s expired.”
“So then he doesn’t have a coupon.”
“I know but he’s being really annoying about it and told me to get the manger but Kyle is vaping and said not to disturb him.” Jeremy whined.
“Damn, still? How long has this kid been vaping for? Are we even sure he’s alive?” Peter asked.
“Wait, who’s that?” Jeremy frowned and pointed to Peter. You and Peter exchanged a panicked look.
“That’s Peter. He works the night shift.” You said quickly.
“I’m Peter. I work the night shift.” Peter nodded in agreement.
“Oh. Okay. I don’t really care. You could’ve been back here smocking crack and sucking dick with a total stranger and I would not have batted an eye. Lord knows I’ve done it. But I do really need your help with the coupon.”
“Ugh. Fine.” You grumbled and got up to go follow Jeremy. Peter got up as well to let himself out.
“See you later, Peter.” You squeezed his arm before heading back to the register. Peter touched the part of his arm where you’d hand had been and smiled softly.
“See you later.”
Peter walked out of the store with a huge smile on his face. But loud noises coming from dumpster behind the store caught Peters attention. He climbed up the wall and walked along the roof so he could scope out what was going on. When Peter saw two guys trying to pick the lock to the back door, he quickly pulled his suit out of his backpack and put it on. He dropped down behind the two guys and cleared his throat when they didn’t hear him.
“Hey guys. I guess you didn’t see the front door. It’s right around the block under the huge, glowing sign that says Dick’s.” Peter said sarcastically. The guys stopped what they were doing and wiped around.
“Woah. It’s the Spiderman.” One of the guys gasped.
“Why do people always say “the” Spiderman?” Peter wondered. “It’s just Spiderman. I was very clear about that when I first started.”
“Let’s get this freak.” The other guy said and started walking towards Peter.
“Before we fight, I should let you guys know that two against one isn’t really fair when the one has web shooters.” Peter said as he raised his fists. His cocky smile disappeared when three more guys came out of the shadows and closed in on him. The five guys took turns punching and kicking Peter until he laid on the ground in a ball. He struggled to catch his breath and coughed up some blood as one of the guys delivered another kick to his stomach. One of them rolled him over and climbed on top of him with his fist raised in the air. Peter accepted his fate and was about to shut his eyes when a hammer, still in its package, came flying through the air and hit the guy in the head. The man grunted in pain and fell off of Peter. This gave Peter enough time to crawl away as more hammers were thrown in the direction of the men. Peter weakly looked up and saw you standing in the doorway with a bunch of hammers in your arms that you were haphazardly throwing at the men.
“Eat my hammer!” You yelled and threw another hammer at the head of one of the guys. Peter let out a weak laugh and clutched his side in pain.
“Dick’s girl?” He asked groggily.
“It’s Y/n.” You reminded him and threw another hammer. This time, one of the guys caught the hammer and started running towards you. Before Peter could get up to protect you, you pulled a bowling ball out from the floor beneath you and threw it at the guy. He was knocked to the ground as you pulled something else behind your bat. When you stepped under a streetlight, Peter as able to see you had taken a lacrosse stick from the store. You whacked one of the guys across the face so hard that he fell to the ground. You swept the leg of another guy, leaving only one standing. Peter held his aching body as you fearlessly walked up to the final goon.
“Spiderman over here is my friend. He’s one of the much, much friendlier Avengers. But not me. I’m fucking mental. I was trained in kung fu for the moment I could walk. I was raised to be a weapon. You don’t want to mess with me.” You said to the man as your rung the lacrosse stick in your hands.
“Oh please. I’ve taken shits bigger than you.” The man sneered and pointed to you. You smirked and caught his finger between your thumb and index finger while keeping your pinky upright.
“You see this? This is called the Wuxi Finger hold. If I bend my pinky, your chi is gonna be so fucked that all the bones in your body will break and half this block will be decimated.” You told him
“You’re bluffing.” He scoffed. “That’s not possible.”
“You wanna find out?” You asked and tightened your grip on his finger. The man’s eyes flicked between your face and his finger as he debated whether or not he believed you.
“This chick is crazy. Let’s get out of here.” The guys finally decided and took off running. The four others groaned as the got up and ran away as well. You sighed and threw the bloody lacrosse stick into the dumpster before looking down at Peter.
“So you’re not a male ballerina?”
“No. I’m Spiderman.”
“That’s not as cool.” You mumbled and bent down to help him sit up fully.
“Can you really break all his bones with one finger?” Peter asked you.
“Huh? Oh, no.” You chuckled. “I stole that shit from Kung Fu Panda. Those ska-douches clearly don’t have good taste in movies so they didn’t even realize.”
“Oh.” Peter smiled weakly. “Well, thanks for saving me.”
“You’re welcome, Peter. Come on.” You winked at him and carefully helped him stand up. You wrapped his arm around you and helped him limp his way into the break room. You raided the sports injury aisle before helped Peter up onto a table.
“Am I allowed to be back here?” Peter asked as he pulled his mask off.
“No one’s gonna know. Kyles vaping in the baseball aisle and Jeremy went home.” You said and set the supplies you had taken down on the table beside him.
“Are you allowed to take those?”
“You are quite a rule follower for the face of illegal vigilanteism, you know that?” You chuckled and opened a bottle of hydrogen peroxide.
“I’m actually not a vigilante. I’m on Mr. Starks roster. We have government clearance.”
“Okay. So just tell yourself I have government clearance to steal these supplies.” You told him, making him laugh. You laughed as well and started to clean him up. Peter stared at you fondly as you patched up his wounds.
“I really appreciate you trying to help me, but I don’t want to get you in trouble.”
“I’m in charge of filling out the inventory catalogues when we get shipments. I can easily make it look like these supplies never existed. Don’t worry, okay? And even if I do get in trouble, it’ll be worth it.” You said without looking at him.
“Why are you being so nice to me?” Peter asked softly. “Why are you always so nice to me?”
“Because I like you.” You shrugged. “I think you’re cool.”
“You do?”
“Is that shocking?” You laughed and cleaned a cut above his eyebrow.
“Kinda. I’m kinda a loser.”
“Really? Because I didn’t see any losers out there tonight. You know, other than those five losers trying to break into a Dick’s sporting goods. I’m really glad all the golf pencils and eye paint are safe.” You said sarcastically. Peter laughed and rested his hands on your hips.
“I like you too, by the way.”
“You do?” You asked skeptically.
“A lot, actually. Sometimes, I don’t even need anything. I just come here and hope you’re working.”
“Well I asked my boss to only schedule me at night because you never come in during the day.” You playfully one upped him.
“Really? You did that because of me?” He smiled fondly.
“You coming in here is the only good thing about this place.” You answered honestly.
“You’re the only reason I come.” Peter told you.
“Ayo.” You snickered.
“I didn’t mean it like that.” He laughed sheepishly.
“It’s okay. It was funny.”
“No you know why I’m always in here buying spandex and random things. I bust up my suit a lot and the guy who made it for me isn’t around anymore.”
“It’s a pretty cool suit. I can’t even tell where you’ve patched it up. I guess our spandex is just really high quality.”
“You got some pretty cool clothes yourself. Not everyone can pull off Hunter green.”
“Wanna see something?” You asked and unzipped the green Dick’s zip up on had on to reveal a black T- shirt underneath that read “I heart Dick’s” with the stores logo in the heart.
“I heart dicks? No way that’s a real uniform.” Peter laughed and pulled on your shirt to read it better.
“Yep. I couldn’t believe it either. I guess the Boomers that make our uniforms don’t see penis humor in everything like our generation does. I tried to tell my boss that these shirts were ridiculous but he said he’d fire me if I didn’t wear it. Even though I literally hate Dick’s.”
“You do?”
“Not that kind of dick.” You laughed. “I meant the store. If this place burned down, I wouldn’t pee on it to put it out. In fact, I probably started the fire.”
“Then why don’t you quit?”
“I need a job.” You shrugged. “And they’re super understaffed so they give me a lot of hours. Plus, if I left, how would I see you?”
“We could hang out. Preferably not in a Dick’s sporting goods.” Peter suggested.
“That’s my favorite place to hang out.” You smiled. “Can I give you my number?”
“I mean, if you want.” Peter joked as he handed you his phone. You put his number in and handed it back to him.
“There. That’s my number.”
“It’s hot.” He said as he looked at it. He gulped and looked up at you, thinking you’d find that weird.
���You’re such a weirdo.” You chuckled. “You better text me.”
“I will. I promise.”
“Good.” You said and poked his chest. Peter stared at you for a moment as a smile tugged on his lips.
“Would it be weird if we kissed right now?” He asked you.
“Yes.” You scoffed. “You’re covered in blood and gravel.”
“Oh. Yeah. You’re right.” He blushed in embarrassment and nodded his head. You cracked a smile before wrapping your arms around his neck to kiss him. Peter felt love in that Dick’s Sporting Goods that night. It was all around him. The kiss ended sooner than he would’ve liked, but it was still perfect.
“Hey, you did it anyway.” He smiled in surprise.
“Yeah, well. I wanted to.” You laughed shyly and kept your arms around his neck.
“And then she kissed me anyway. And she got Neosporin all over her face. And my blood! It was insane, Ned. I wish you could’ve seen her with the lacrosse stick. She destroyed so much store property. It was incredible.” Peter jumped in excitement as he recanted the story to Ned the next day.
“You had your first kiss in Dicks sporting goods?” Ned whispered in awe.
“Uh huh.” Peter nodded.
“What are you guys talking about?” Flash asked as he stuck his head between Peter and Ned.
“Nothing.” Peter said quickly and gave Ned a look.
“Peter kissed the hot Dicks cashier.” Ned blurted.
“Ned!” Peter whispered harshly. “Why would you tell him that?”
“You kissed Alejandro?” Flash gasped and looked jealous.
“What? No. Who even is that?”
“I know all the Dicks sporting goods employees by name. I’m in there all the time buying golf and tennis and bad mitten shit because I’m rich as fuck. If it wasn’t Alejandro, then who was it?” Flash questioned.
“Her name is Y/n. She works the closing shift.” Peter told him.
“Wait, the one with the rebellious gleam in her eyes? No way you kissed her.” Flash snorted. “I’ve been trying to get her number for months.”
“Really? Because I got it last night.” Peter replied with a shrug.
“And a smooch.” Ned added. “On the mouth.”
“He knows where, Ned.” Peter whispered without taking his eyes off Flash.
“There is no way in hell that Penis Parker was macking on a hot cashier. And at Dick’s sporting goods no less.” Flash laughed loudly, drawing the attention of students passing by.
“It’s true.” Peter insisted. “And I don’t care if you believe me or not. Because I know it’s real.”
“Wow. You hear that, everybody? Penis Parker has a fake girlfriend!” Flash shouted in the hallway. People stopped to laugh and point at Peter, making him turn red.
“What? No I don’t.”
“He’s pretending he had a girlfriend who works at Dicks Sporting Goods to make up for the fact that no one will ever touch his dicks sporting goods.” Flash said even louder.
“Oh my God. Come on. Let’s get out of here.” Peter grumbled and Ned followed after him as he left. Once they were out of the crowd, Peter pulled his phone out and looked over your last conversation.
“Do you think it’s weird she hasn’t texted me back in a while?” He asked Ned.
“Well what was the last thing you guys talked about?”
“We were in the middle of a conversation about the best Adam Sandler movie and she ghosted me.” Peter said as he checked the time. Your shift had definitely started by now and he knew you texted on company time.
“Is she working tonight?”
“Yeah. Closing shift.”
“So go visit her.” Ned shrugged.
“What if she doesn’t want to see me?” Peter worried.
“She wouldn’t have kissed you if she didn’t like you.” Ned reminded him.
“I guess so. Okay. I’ll go see her after class.”
Once Peters last class ended, he pulled out his phone to call you as he walked in the direction of your store. You answered the phone but didn’t say anything.
“Hey. I was just thinking of you.” Peter said into the phone.
“Peter.” You whispered in a shaky voice. He could tell you were crying and froze in his tracks.
“I was planning on stopping by. Is everything okay?” He asked and quickened his pace in the direction of the store.
“No. I don’t think you should come in.” You said quietly. Peter stopped walking and felt his heart sink. You must’ve lost feelings after the kiss and didn’t want to hang out anymore.
“Oh. Oh, okay. No problem. I won’t come by.” He said and tried not to sound as disappointed as he felt.
“But maybe your friend can come in?” You asked, making his senses tingle.
“My friend?” He asked and started towards the store again.
“Yeah. The ballerina.” You replied and he knew exactly what you meant. Peter stopped in an alleyway to throw on his suit before running towards the store.
“Are you in danger?”
“Yeah. Sounds good.” You said with a forced laugh.
“I’ll be right there. Don’t worry. Everything is going to be okay.”
“Who are you talking to? Is that a phone? I said all phones in the bag.” Peter heard from your end of the phone. You hung up after that and Peter raced to the store. When he got there, he snuck in through the back and quietly made his way to the front. He found you behind the register with your hands up in the air as a man in a hulk mask stood in front of you.
“Hey, buddy. Let me guess. The last jock strap you bought was too loose you’re back for another one?” Peter said, making the guy whip around. That’s when Peter saw the gun in his hand and froze.
“Oh. My bad. I didn’t see the gun from behind.” Peter said and put his hands in the air. He made eye contact with you from behind the register and you mouthed that you were sorry.
“Why don’t you walk out of here and pretend you didn’t see anything, okay pal?” The man said as he pointed the gun back at you.
“Sorry sir, but I can’t do that. You see, I’m quite taken with the cashier you’re holding at gunpoint here.” Peter said and pointed to you. You let out a short laugh as tears fell down your face.
“Good. Then you can watch me blow her head to bits.” The man said and took a step towards you. You let out a little squeak in fear and shut your eyes.
“Can I convince you to reconsider? She’s got a great head. I’d hate to see it get blown off.” Peter said calmly and slowly made his way towards the man.
“I said you could take the money. Just take it and leave.” You pleaded with the man.
“There was only $36.62 in there. I didn’t rob store for less than 40 bucks.” The man shouted at you.
“No one uses cash anymore.” You whimpered. “It’s all Apple Pay.”
“Then tell me the combination to the safe.” He yelled and tightened his grip on the gun.
“I don’t remember it.” You cried. “I don’t listen when my boss talks to me.”
“You’re lying! I know you know.”
“Why would I lie? You think I’d risk my life to protect this store? I hate this store. It’s so stupid. Why is it called Dick’s? Who is Dick?”
“She’s making some excellent points.” Peter agreed.
“Both of you shut up! Give me the combination to the safe now or I’ll shoot you both.”
“I don’t know it!” You exclaimed. “I don’t even know the address to this place.”
“You think this is funny?” The man asked and took a step closer to you to the gun was pressed against your forehead.
“Not right now but I probably will later.” You answered honestly.
“That’s it. You’re dead.” The man said and cocked his gun.
“No!” Peter exclaimed as he dove towards you. He knocked you safely onto the ground while the man shot him three times in the chest. You screamed as Peter fell to the ground in a thud. You were about to reach for him when he jumped back up on his feet.
“Just kidding! It’s bulletproof.” Peter said cheerfully as he shot a web at the man’s gun. He yanked it out of his hand and threw it to the side before shooting two more webs that stuck the man’s arms to his sides and glued his legs to together. The man fell to the ground and tried to break free, but was unsuccessful. Peter shot one last web at the man’s face before pulling his mask off. He turned around to ask you if you were okay and was immediately met by you throwing your arms around him. He pulled his mask off before hugging you back tightly until your breathing calmed down.
“How did you know you were bullet proof?” You asked in a shaky voice.
“I didn’t.” He admitted. “I just knew that you weren’t.”
You pulled away to stare at him in disbelief, almost looking angry with him for risking his life for you. Your angry expression melted into a look of awe.
“Thats hot.” You said and threw your arms around him to kiss him. He smiled into the kiss and held you tighter, only breaking apart when you needed to catch your breath.
“Do you kiss all your local cashiers like that?” You asked him.
“Nope.” He chuckled. “Just you.”
“Good. You better keep it that way.”
Peter smiled and pressed his forehead against yours as you both calmed down from all the excitement when a thought crossed his mind.
“Did you really not know the combination to the safe or were you protecting the store?” Peter asked skeptically.
“Are you accusing me of risking my life to protect Dick’s Sporting Goods from a robbery?” You pretended to be offended and put your hand over your heart.
“No. But I am accusing you not telling that guy the safe combination just to mess with him.” Peter replied. A smirk crossed your face as you went over to the safe and put in the combination.
“There is nothing I wouldn’t do for a bit.” You said as you pulled the safe open.
“I knew it.” Peter laughed and shook his head.
“I was planning on telling you something tonight. You know, before I got held at gunpoint by a man shorter than I am.” You said as you walked back over to Peter.
“Oh really? What?”
“They’re making me store manager. That means you can get all the free spandex and gummy worms you want.”
“No way.” Peter grinned. “They promoted you?”
“Kinda.” You waved your hand. “The last store manger went to jail for insider trading and I’m the only other employee over 18.”
“But still! I’m so proud of you.” He said and scooped you into a hug.
“You know, when they promoted me, you were the first person I wanted to tell.” You admitted. Peter pulled away to cup your face and smile at you.
“I’m honored. No one in this shamble of a store deserved it more than you.”
“I can make my own hours now because it’s my job to make the schedule. So let me know when you want to go on our first date that isn’t in a Dick’s sporting goods.” You smiled teasingly.
“I will.” He smiled back before getting serious. He blew out a breath and looked you in the eye.
“Dick’s girl, I have so enjoyed our time together. Would you maybe want to be my girlfriend maybe?” He asked with a hopeful smile.
“Maybe I would.” You shrugged. “But only if you never call me “Dick’s girl” again.”
“I can definitely do that.” Peter nodded and kissed you again. The kiss was interrupted by the sound of cops pulling up in front of the store.
“Cops are here. I gotta go.” Peter said apologetically and pulled his mask back on.
“Bye, Spiderman!” You waved at him as he walked towards the front door.
“Bye, Dick’s girl!” He shouted back before swinging off into the night.
“What did Spiderman just call you?” The police officer as he walked into the store.
“Don’t worry about it.”
Tag List 🏷️
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 @officialsimppage @peterbenjiparker @itsemohours @parkerlovebot
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gh0stsp1d3r · 7 months
Note
Hi!! :3 I was wondering if I could request a William afton x reader where the reader maybe asks William out? And cue him being a little flustered considering he probably hasn’t been w anyone in awhile, cause he’s old and weird.
The amount of smut of this man I’ve seen is CRAZY so I wanted to request smth a bit more fluffy 😭 love ur writing btw!!
awww that’s so cute, im glad you like it!!
ℱ𝓁𝓊𝓈𝓉ℯ𝓇ℯ𝒹
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Today was the day. You had to do it today.
Your cute, nice, funny, coworker. You’ve been working up the courage to ask him out forever. And today, you decided, was the day.
You took a deep breath, knocking on the door and holding both coffees in your hand tightly.
“Come in!” He didn’t look up from the paperwork in front of him until you opened the door.
“Oh- hey, y/n.” He stood up now, giving you a smile.
“Hi. Brought you coffee.” You extended your arm and handed him it.
“Thank you. I appreciate it. God, I don’t think I could survive this place without you.” He laughed quietly, as he sat down.
“Sit, sit.” He said, motioning to the seat in front of him.
“Are you sure-“
“I’m basically free today. Sit.” He said, and you sat in the seat across from him.
“So, anything interesting?” He asked, moving his chair back and fourth.
“Not really. I wanted to ask you something.”
“Shoot.” He said, taking a sip of his coffee.
“I was wondering if you wanted to.. go out with me..? Like on a date. You ca-“
His eyes widened, he looked the other way and spit out his coffee, coughing.
“Mr.Raglan! I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have asked-“ you felt embarrassed now.
“No. No you’re fine. It’s just…” he wiped his mouth with his sleeve, and smiled slightly. You could see a tint of pink present on his cheeks. “I’m old. I haven’t been with anyone in like.. forever. I wasn’t expecting it is all. But I would love to.” He said, with a smile on his face again.
“Really?”
“Yeah. As a matter of fact, how about after work, I can drive you to this really nice place.”
You smiled back “it’s a date.”
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