#and it’s all PURELY. OUT OF LOVE.

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[corpsentry]

pick your battles

[laniidae-passerine]

don’t get how you can watch iwtv and be a sincere diehard lestat hater. like the world’s biggest lestat hater is louis and that man can’t even commit to it for more than five minutes before literally hallucinating lestat wearing a wedding ring and talking pretty to him. this show is about louis and every road leads back to lestat for that man

[yuviur]

Summer vacation, 4am.

Tons of easter eggs in this one! Click the image to find them (and for better quality ofc)

Close ups and process shots under the cut, description in alt text

[incominghazelgoose]

i got a screenless tablet! friendship ended procreate,csp 30 day trial is now the love of my life

[plutotunealouette]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again and again until I die: the love and care that the suitor squad all have for one another without any resentment or jealousy over lucy is really really special and important

[cubbihue]

Hi! this is kinda an art request if u dont mind. And it's angst related, can you draw like where wanda and cosmo obvs have seen for a while how (human) timmy has been treated by his real parents. I just want to see like the "last straw" which lead Cosmo and Wanda wanting them to make Timmy as their own. (IM HAPPY THAT TIMMY HAS A FAMILY THAT LOVES AND CARES FOR HIM)

The "Last Straw"?

Cosmo and Wanda have seen humans at their best. They've seen humans at their worst. They've seen anything and everything that they've gone numb and used to what humans get up to.

But nothing's shaken them quite like Timmy's case did. Nothing has ever made a Fairy feel such strong human emotions than what Timmy made them feel, on that one particular night.

The thing that broke Cosmo and Wanda was Timmy himself.

Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]

[trashcatsnark]

i love gale so so so so much

but fuck does his initial reaction to the player beaming romantic thoughts into his head via weave make me wanna peel my skin off

don't get me wrong, it's cute, he's cute, i love it, its such a sweet bonding moment and I scream- but also when he has that initial shock and embarrassment before the elation settles in, it makes me want to die and that's not a criticism of him or anything because that is a very realistic and understandable why to respond even if he is genuinely interested but just didn't expect it

but as someone who is also very fucking awkward and rejection sensitive my immediate instinct every time is "Okay, swing and a miss, thanks for having me- gonna go kill myself now."

and I know he immediately goes like "No, no, I really like that- I really like this."

but realistically my ass would have already been jumping off the nearest cliff, like- all i heard from that narrator was the word embarrassment and I blacked out from shame, goodbye cruel world, here lies Snark, dead from wanting to hold a wizard's hand

[inkskinned]

it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.

yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.

it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.

how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.

chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?

how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.

"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.

i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.

[yhwcomeback]

Sora doodles

[sanatomis]

let’s go read fluff !

smut “aw, dang it!”

smut “aw, dang it!”

smut “aw, dang it!”

smut “aw, dang it!”

fluff . . . with smut “aw, dang it!”

[bizarrelovesquare]

Despicable Me 4 (2024)

[mikakuna]

are we ready to face the truth that is bruce did not love jason as much as jason loved bruce?

[littlebittyhollowbugs]

I will never love any interpretation of Ghost, Hollow and Hornet more than I love the interpretation of them being ultimately good, fighting for peace for everyone around them, caring deeply for Hallownest (or what remains of Hallownest at least) and caring deeply for each other and peace for their family at last.

I love kind Ghost.

Ghost who goes out of the way to gift flowers to lonely bugs.

Ghost who will rescue Zote whenever given the opportunity, without thanks or any form of reward.

Ghost who rescues grubs because they are trapped and crying to be freed.

Ghost who despite having limited ability of expression, will find some way to convey appreciation for others. (Sitting beside them. Listening to them talk or sing. Bowing out of respect.)

Ghost who is excited when in the company of good friends.

Ghost who spares the life of the nailsmith.

Ghost who mourns the loss of those fallen.

Ghost who eventually remembers their past, remembers being abandoned by their sibling, and still chooses to fight, to do everything that it takes, to free the hollow knight. To put an end to their suffering. To take Hollow's place, or to die.

There is no reward for this. There is nothing to gain. Ultimately Ghost is willing to suffer forever or to die in order to give others peace.

Ghost makes many many mistakes, and can make selfish or reckless decisions, but ultimately, Ghost is forgiving and loving.

I love Hollow who genuinely wants the people of Hallownest to be at peace. (Ironically just wanting that alone made it impossible for Hollow to grant them that peace.

But still, Hollow wants that.)

Hollow who loves Hallownest. Who loves their father and who loves his kingdom.

Hollow who is relentless in protecting it. Who would suffer for over a hundred years protecting whatever there is that can possibly be saved.

Hollow who has had the radiance influencing it all that time. The radiance who hates the king, who hates his people. Who tried to convince it to hate them to.

Hollow who loves them regardless.

Who feels empathy for everyone. Who understands their suffering more than anyone and wants nothing more than for them to have peace.

Hollow who, after finally being freed, chooses to live a kind life. To be understanding and gentle.

Who has every right to be bitter and angry and closed off, but who, after finally receiving the opportunity to live, to actually live, chooses to find everything good left in the world that they fought so hard for.

Hollow who learns to love openly and to no longer be afraid.

Hollow who is eventually excited to be able to express love in small ways.

Hollow is stalwart and just. But kind.

Hornet who, despite everything that she went through, despite losing so much, nearly everything, continues to stand and to fight for life because it still matters to her.

Hornet who fights to honor those that she lost, especially her mother.

Hornet who is hesitant to be hopeful, but is hopeful anyway.

Hornet who is hesitant to form any friendships out of fear that she will lose them, But who longs for friendship, for family..

Hornet who is proud of her siblings, who loves them despite not wanting to, who feels guilt knowing that the fate of the kingdom must rely on them.

Hornet who will rush in to assist her siblings in their final battle, knowing that she may very well die.

Hornet who, after given the opportunity to be with her siblings again, wants nothing more than to help them heal. For them all to heal.

Hornet who loves and is loved in return.

Ghost and Hollow who love, and are loved in return.

A little broken family that understands each other, understands that nothing that happened to any of them was fair, and who forgive each other, who love each other because after all this time..

They finally can.

Not one of them is without their (sometimes severe) flaws. Not one of them isn't damaged after everything that has happened.

And still they choose love.

This quote by Mary Shelley captures my interpretations of the siblings perfectly.~

"Life, although it may only be an accumulation of anguish, is dear to me, and I will defend it”

[me-sploh-rada-imas]

nace being inspired and impressed by jan's guitar playing

[hitradio center] [aleteia] [suzy magazine]

[hayaku14]

kaito buying every ticket to every soccer game available just to see that excited look on shinichi's face