#and its reasonable that this is taking over my thoughts

[milkloafy]

I COULD BE YOUR CRUSH — WRIOTHESLEY

⋆｡˚ ❀ summary: you gush about your crush to neuvillette over some tea, and your crush unexpectedly joins the tea party and overhears you talking about him. ⋆｡˚ ❀ contents: fluff, fem!reader (use of princess as a petname), sassy neuvi, mentions of ayato ⋆｡˚ ❀ wc: 1.2k+ ⋆｡˚ ❀ a/n: alexa play crush by tessa violet,, LOL i was thinking so hard about the song title then i was like okay yeah these lyrics work ;-; titles are so hard.. anywayyy PLS ENJOY SOME WRIO FLUFF FOR THE SOUL !!

“You just don’t understand, Neuvillette,” you sighed dramatically, stabbing your fork into the delicate cake in front of you. “He’s totally swoon-worthy.”

Neuvillette took a sip of his tea before carefully placing the cup back on its saucer. For a while, he continued to stay silent, as if considering his words.

Once he finally opened his mouth, the only question that came out was a calm, “How so?”

It didn’t take long for a million reasons to pop into your head.

“Well…have you seen his arms?” you gushed. “Is that not enough of a reason in itself?”

Neuvillette scoffed, a smile of amusement playing on his lips.

“That’s not all, of course,” you clarified, grabbing a throw pillow from the sofa next to you and hugging it close to your chest. “He’s also caring and kind and treats everyone with respect, no matter who they are.” 

Neuvillette’s gaze flickered briefly to the door behind you, but you paid it no mind.

“Not to mention how he looks when he gets all serious. Neuvillette, have you ever seen him talk about a prisoner he had to punish? It’s so…” You hid your face behind the pillow, cheeks flaming at the thought.

Before you had a chance to collect yourself, you heard someone clear their throat behind you. You immediately stilled in your seat, slowly bringing the pillow back down to your lap.

“Sorry I’m late. Who are we talking about?”

Neuvillette smiled, ignoring your frantic look directed right at him. “Wriothesley, welcome. You are not too late. Please, take a seat.”

Wriothesley slipped onto the sofa, taking a seat next to you. Neuvillette poured him a cup of tea that he graciously accepted. Looking over at you, Wriothesley brought the drink up to his face and asked, “Care to tell me who you were speaking of before I arrived? It sounded like you were singing their praises.”

You fiddled with the the hem of your silk pajamas— Neuvillette failed to inform you beforehand that a certain someone would be joining the tea party, so you appeared in your regular sleep clothes. You racked your brain trying to come up with a response. 

“Oh, you know… Kamisato Ayato,” you managed, vaguely remembering how you saw his name and face on the cover of The Steambird recently. “The head of the Kamisato clan is such a…dashing and strong leader. I think.” 

“I didn’t realize you were close to Kamisato,” commented Wriothesley, sitting with one leg loosely draped over the other as he leaned back against the sofa.

“Oh,” you shook your head, “no. No, I’ve never even met him.”

Wriothesley raised a singular eyebrow in question. “Your words earlier seemed so strong for something directed at a man you have never met.” 

You shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant even though your heart threatened to beat our of your chest. “You know how enamored a crush can make someone.” 

“I do,” Wriothesley agreed, his gaze locked onto yours so intensely that you almost had to blink.

“I’m sure you do,” remarked Neuvillette, still sipping his tea.

You and Wriothesley both looked over at him.

Neuvillette blinked. “Did you forget I was here? This is my office, is it not?” When no one responded, he sighed. “Well, I finished the last of my tea and I have some work to wrap up. Feel free to stay as long as you need.”

Neuvillette made his way back to his desk and Wriothesley refocused his attention towards you. 

“So. Kamisato Ayato,” he brought the clan leader up once more.

You choked out a laugh of exasperation. “Are we still on this? Just let me have my silly little crush on someone across the world who doesn’t even know I exist.”

Tapping his fingers against the teacup, Wriothesley huffed. You realized he looked almost annoyed and frustrated.

Just as you were about to ask him what was wrong, Wriothesley opened his mouth and said, “Would it be overbearing of me to say I wish you had said a different name when I asked who you were gushing over?”

A strange mixture of curiosity and hope filled your chest.

Curiosity as to who he thought you were talking about. Hope that maybe he thought it might’ve been him. 

“You could never be overbearing,” you assured, grabbing a small biscuit from the table and softening it up in your warm tea. “Would it be nosy of me to ask who you wished I was gushing over?”

Wriothesley grinned. “You are certainly nosy. But it’s one of the things I like about you.”

You laughed, wiping a crumb off your lip with a napkin. “Does that mean you won’t tell me?”

“Perhaps another day.”

In the distance, you heard Neuvillette clear his throat loudly. You looked over and saw him glaring straight at Wriothesley. They stayed like that for a while, having a silent conversation with their eyes. Whatever it was, it seemed intense. You were quite glad that glare wasn’t directed at you.

“I believe Wriothesley would like to share that information with you now,” Neuvillette announced after Wriothesley looked away with a sigh.

“Does he?”

“I do,” Wriothesley confirmed, the slightest bit begrudgingly. “Me.”

You waited for him to say more, but he didn’t elaborate. 

You blinked. “What about you?” 

“Are you going to make me say it?” Wriothesley let out a strangled laugh, grabbing a biscuit to munch on himself. “When I overheard you and Neuvillette talking about your crush, I was hoping it was about me.”

You blinked. “Why about you?” 

Neuvillette made a strange noise as a book fell off his desk. He cleared his throat. “Pardon me.”

You barely had time to wonder if he was okay before Wriothesley finally responded.

“You really don’t make things easy for me, isn’t that right, princess?” Wriothesley said with a helpless smile. “I hoped you were saying such sweet things about me, since I would say equally sweet things about you.”

With your stomach turning at both the pet name and his admission, you managed to say, “And if I were to tell you it really was about you?”

“That would make me a very happy man,” he said, unable to contain his delight. “Who wouldn’t be happy to hear the most beautiful and caring person they know is interested in them as well?”

You heard Neuvillette tap his foot impatiently in the background, but you ignored him. You and Wriothesley were having a moment here. 

“So, you’re saying you like me, too?” you asked, not wanting there to be any chance of a misunderstanding. The two of you made it this far, you couldn’t let it fall apart now.

“I like you very much,” said Wriothesley with a nod. “And I have something to take care of at the Fortress this week, but when we both have time next week, perhaps we can celebrate with a dinner. Without Neuvillette there.”

“Please, without me there,” Neuvillette chimed in, his arms folded as he sat in his chair.

You laughed, standing up and brushing the imaginary dust off your pajamas. “All right, I can take a hint, Neuvillette. I’ll help you clean up before I go. And Wriothesley…” 

“Hmm?”

You met his gaze and the corners of his eyes crinkled. You fought off a giggle as you returned Wriothesley’s smile, an overwhelming feeling of happiness filling you. “It’s a date.”

[minisugakoobies]

Whipped | KMG

Pairing: Mingyu x GNReader (no agab)

Genre: fluff, idiots to lovers, slightly crack-ish, non-idol!AU

Rating: T

Warnings: Mingyu's a stubborn idiot, but he's also the softest human alive, Minghao's kind of a jerk tbh, use of they/them pronouns for reader, this is honestly just fluffy nonsense meant to give you warm fuzzies

Word Count: 3.9k

Disclaimers: Obviously I don’t own SVT - they just inspire me

Summary: No matter what his friends say, Mingyu is definitely, absolutely, one hundred percent not whipped for you.

A/N: Yep, another Mingyu fic. I can't help it. 🤷‍♀️

Unbeta’d as usual. If you liked this, please let me know! I’d love to hear what you think (but please be kind I’m fragile 🥺) 💕

SVT Masterlist 💜 Main Masterlist

Kim Mingyu is not whipped.

This is what he forcefully reminds himself when you walk into Minghao’s party, looking sweeter than a spring day, a phrase which if he’s being honest is maybe a little more poetic than he’d normally use. That’s okay. He can be a little dramatic if he wants. Why not? Seokmin does it all the time and no one bats an eye.

In any case. Mingyu is not whipped.

That’s why he turns his head, pretending he doesn’t see you dazzle everyone around you with your beautiful smile. While he’s pretending, he also acts like he can’t feel his own lips tug upwards at the soft chime of your laughter, a Pavlovian response to your happiness. No, his smile is unrelated to whatever you’re doing. He’s just in a good mood, one that didn’t suddenly ascend to the heavens when you entered the room.

Mingyu’s not whipped.

He sinks further into the couch where he’s sitting, a little off to the side of where Minghao, Jeonghan, and Seokmin are talking. Theoretically, he’s part of the conversation, adding the occasional hum or laugh, but he’s really not contributing much of anything. He’s too busy thinking about you. Not like that. 

(But not not like that, either.) 

In any case, Mingyu remains firmly unwhipped - solid, unshaken, definitely not falling apart over you. He’ll be absolutely fine, as long as you stay on the other side of the room, where your charms can’t reach him. Except that he can’t stop watching you, and now you’re looking at him, and even though he averts his eyes, it’s too late. He can sense you walking towards him, his heartbeat increasing with every step you take.

Not. Whipped. 

“Hey there, stranger.” 

Instinctively, at the sound of your voice, he glances up at you, like a flower tilting its face towards your light. He nods at your greeting, mumbling a hello of his own. The others sitting around him all greet you as well, but you merely nod in reply, your full attention on Mingyu. 

“Do you wanna tell me why you’ve been avoiding me?”

If Mingyu had a list of things he loved about you, which he does not, being straightforward would be near the top. Of this totally fictional list that does not exist. He admires it, actually, the way you have no patience for dishonesty or deception.

Even though your question is blunt, your smile remains soft as you wait for his response, and Mingyu rethinks his ranking. Item number one on that imaginary list - the way you smile, at him, specifically. It’s so warm, like being hugged by the rays of the sun itself. It makes him happier than he ever thought possible. He wants to curl up like a cat and bask in the feeling. If he’s not careful, he might start purring right now.

He’s totally super normal about you.

“Me?” he asks, stalling for time, praying that a somewhat reasonable explanation falls into his lap in the meantime. He’s only a fair-to-moderate bullshitter, so his hopes are low. He can feel the others staring at the two of you, very obviously listening, because no one in your friend group seems to respect boundaries. It’s not helping. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean,” you chirp back, and he does, he knows exactly what you mean, just like you know exactly what he’s doing. “You’ve been ignoring my texts. What’s going on?”

What’s going on is that Mingyu is not whipped, even if it feels like his insides are turning to melty goo beneath your inquisitive gaze. 

“I’m not ignoring you. I’ve just been busy,” he shoots, aiming for breezy and landing just shy of nonchalant. 

“Busy doing what?” 

“You know. Stuff.” Oh god, he really sucks at this. “And things.” Jesus Christ.

You fold your arms, and Mingyu thinks it’s cute the way you’re squinting at him, one eye closed as you assess his response. Unbearably cute, actually, and getting worse the longer it goes on.

“Yeahhhh, that’s not good enough,” you inform him, and with one hand on his arm (Mingyu ignores the electric current that lights up his nervous system when you touch him. It’s just static and definitely not anything else), you pull him to his feet and lead him out of Minghao’s apartment and into the empty hallway. He follows, not because he’d follow you anywhere, but because he’s curious.

Once the door is closed behind you, you turn to him, a serious expression on your face. “Gyu. Be honest with me.” Always, he thinks reflexively. “This is about what those guys said the other night, isn’t it?” 

Of course you know exactly what it is that has his head spinning right now. The two of you have been friends for ages, but Mingyu still can’t get over how easily you always seem to read him. 

A few nights ago, Mingyu and you had been out to dinner with a few others, and it had been like any other time you were hanging out with your friends, lots of laughing and teasing and just being happy dumbasses together. Only on this particular evening, the food had taken a very long time to arrive, but the drinks kept coming in the meanwhile, and you’d gotten a little drunker than usual, and a little clingier, sticking to Mingyu like a magnet.

Not that Mingyu minded having you hanging on his side all night. Nor did he mind keeping a close eye on you, making sure you were drinking your water and eating to help soak up some of the alcohol. None of that bothered him at all - you were his best friend; why wouldn’t he take care of you? Especially when you smiled at him and thanked him for being so sweet, so good to you, over and over.

(He can’t even begin to explain how that made him feel.)

The others noticed. And commented. Mingyu tried to ignore them, but they just wouldn’t shut up. By the time they joked that Mingyu was your trained puppy, suggesting you buy him a pretty collar and a leash to go with it, he’d had enough.

And when he tried to express that, Minghao had shut him down with a scoff, a wave of his hand, and one word. 

“Whipped.” 

Mingyu admits that he’s a lot of things, but he’s not a whipped man. He’s not. He’s not, no matter what the others say. No matter how you’re looking at him right now, concern etched all over your lovely face, lip tucked between your teeth as you wait for his answer. He’s strong. And proud. 

(And maybe a stubborn idiot, but that’s neither here nor there.)

He considers just not responding at all, but he knows how persistent you are, so he settles for a half-shrug. You sigh, leaning back against the wall, arms crossing in front of you. 

“You’re being ridiculous, you know that?” you say softly, shaking your head. “They were joking. They said so! And you know I didn’t take it seriously for a second.” 

“You didn’t hear everything they said!” he protests, crossing his own arms. You’d missed most of the barbs flying his way that night, too busy enjoying yourself. Which weirdly made him happy. He hated the thought of those guys ruining your night. “They said I was your pet!” 

“So? Jeonghan always tells Seokmin he’s got the zoomies when he gets hyper. He knows he’s not actually a dog! It’s just stupid jokes! Our friends are dumb!” you laugh, throwing up your hands. “That’s what we like about them!”

Mingyu can’t help it, he starts to laugh with you, but then he catches himself, shaking his head. “You don’t get it.” 

“Then help me understand.” 

How can he help you understand, when he’s not entirely sure he understands it himself, this storm inside him, clouding his mind? 

“I…” He glances wildly around the hallway, but there’s nothing out here to help him. He can hear the bass from whatever song is playing inside the party, a low, steady thrumming that contrasts the erratic thumping of his heart. “I don’t like being called weak.”

You tilt your head. “Is that what they said?” 

“Yeah. Or I guess… they implied it. When they said I was whipped for you.” He lets out a frustrated sigh, knowing he’s pouting and it doesn’t help his defense, but it’s just his default setting. “But I’m not.” 

Because he’s staring into your eyes as he speaks, he catches it - the quick expression of sorrow that pinches your brow at his explanation - but it’s fleeting, gone in an instant. If he weren’t watching your face so intently, he would’ve missed it. 

“Gyu,” you sigh, the corners of your mouth lifting in what is clearly meant to be a smile, except it doesn’t reach your eyes, and for a moment, the confusing tide of emotions inside him still, and he feels only sadness. That’s not how you smile. “Can you please let it go? Everyone was being an idiot. That’s nothing new! Besides…” You trail off, staring at the floor.

He waits a beat. “Besides what?”

You huff and shrug. “It’s nothing, forget it.” 

The uncertainty in your tone unnerves Mingyu even more than your fake smile. Where’s that directness of yours? 

“No, tell me. Besides what?” 

With a deep breath, you look him straight in the eye. “Besides, I’m not delusional. I know you don’t like me like that. I’m not your type.” 

Your voice grows quieter at the end of your sentence, just as the music coming from the other side of the door fades out, and to Mingyu, the silence only amplifies your words, leaving them ringing loudly in his ears like a sonic boom. You’re not his type?

He blinks rapidly, as if that will somehow help. 

“You - you’re not - “ He pauses, searching fruitlessly for the end of his sentence, but it’s nowhere to be found.

“Right. I’m not.” 

The laugh you let out sounds so fake that he winces, and a terrible realization hits him. You’ve taken his stammering to be a complete thought - a confirmation of what you’d said, that you aren’t someone he’d like like that. Curling in on yourself, arms wrapping around your stomach, you shrink away from him, only a few inches but the distance feels so vast. 

“Let’s just forget about it, okay?” 

Mingyu’s speechless. As his silence grows, so does the space between the two of you, until you’re standing by the door, hand on the knob. He feels like he should be doing something right now, snapping into action of some sort, but his brain is still stuck on your declaration.

“Okay,” he finally croaks, because it’s clear that you’re waiting for him to speak, and he doesn’t know what else to do but agree with you, because you’re usually right and he usually agrees with you. 

“Right,” you say again, but you look slightly unsure, and it rattles Mingyu, making him feel even more unsettled than before. “Okay.” And then you open the door and slip back inside Minghao’s apartment.

Alone in the hallway, Mingyu slumps against the wall. Well. That was a spectacular failure. He’d tried to explain how their comments upset him and all he’d done was upset you. The shift in your demeanor was so obvious to him, a flashing neon sign basically screaming “you fucked up!” in blazing red light. 

He gives himself a minute to try to pull himself together, then he returns to the party. As soon as he’s inside, he scans the room, until he finds you standing in the corner, hanging out with another friend, Chan, talking and laughing like everything is fine. Which, as Mingyu feels deep in the pit of his stomach, he knows it is not. 

His previously vacated spot on the couch remains open, so he slips back into it, ignoring the curious looks of his friends. He doesn’t want to answer any stupid questions right now, doesn’t want to deal with any of their crap while he tries to wrap his head around what just happened in the hallway. 

Naturally, his friends immediately start nosing into his business.

“What was that all about?” Minghao asks, turning to face Mingyu. Seokmin and Jeonghan both twist towards him, eager to hear his answer. 

“What was what about?” Mingyu replies, eyes flitting to you again. Chan must be bringing his A game with his jokes tonight, because you’re giggling Mingyu’s favorite giggle, the one that makes your nose twitch like a little bunny’s. It always makes him swell with pride when he coaxes it out of you with one of his dumb jokes, so seeing it right now and knowing he’s not the cause of it, well, it’s not exactly helping improve his mood.

“What was that dramatic exit?” Minghao gestures towards the door. 

“It was nothing. We were just talking.” Again he looks at you. And again, your attention is focused solely on the man beside you. Mingyu doesn’t understand. Can’t you feel him looking at you? 

“Uh-huh. Sure,” Jeonghan drawls, miming the crack of a whip with his hand. Seokmin and Minghao crack up beside Mingyu, but he doesn’t care. He’s too busy trying to catch your eye. He wants to see you smile at him. Just one smile. That’s all he needs to make him feel better. 

His friends lose interest in teasing him when he doesn’t respond, and the conversation moves on. As does the evening. Mingyu bonds with the couch, not leaving except to grab refills of his drink, but otherwise he’s a fixed point in this party, unlike you, who are constantly moving, floating from friend to friend, spreading joy across the room.

Spreading joy to everyone except him, that is. No matter how much he watches you, your light never shines on him again, not like it did earlier. He knows what this is. You’re the one doing the avoiding now. And oh my god does he hate it. He feels cold and lonely, withering away, dying for your attention. For your affection. Because he needs it to thrive.

Oh. 

Oh wow, he’s stupid. The others are right. 

Kim Mingyu is whipped. 

For you, and you only. 

Like it has been every few minutes since he returned from the hallway, his gaze is drawn back to you, and this time, it’s different. Because the mask you’ve been wearing all night finally slips, and Mingyu sees the wrinkle of your brow, and the slight downturn of your mouth, and he understands. You’re just as miserable as he is.

That absolutely will not do. He needs to fix this right now.

Mingyu rises to his feet again, not even waiting for Minghao to finish the story he’s been telling, not that he’s been listening anyway, and starts walking towards you. When he’s a mere arm’s length away, it occurs to him that he doesn’t have any plan, just an urgent need to make you look happy again. And also pay attention to him, because he needs your attention just like he needs you, so he panics, and grabs your hand. 

You look at him in surprise as his fingers slip between yours.

“Come with me. Please,” he adds, a bit hasty in his anxiousness, already tugging you out of the room and into the hallway. A pair of voices follow you both out, as Minghao and Jeonghan both jeer loudly at the sight of Mingyu dragging you away, but thankfully the door drowns them out, letting only the beat of the music through.   Which would be a good thing, except that now it’s just Mingyu and a very quiet you. With your hand still in his. 

“Is everything o-”

“You are my type.” 

You start speaking at the same time he does, but he’s louder, blurting his entire sentence out before you can finish yours. Your mouth freezes in an ‘o,’ and oh, Mingyu can’t believe what a dumbass he’s been for so long. How did everyone else see it but him? 

“I just. Wanted you to know. That you are the type of person. That I like.” Why can’t. He complete. A whole sentence? “Smart, funny, gorgeous….” 

You glance away from him, suddenly shy at that last word, and it just reinforces Mingyu’s point. 

Unfortunately, it does not make it any easier for him to say what he’s trying to say.

“But you’re not just my type? You’re the person I like. Hao’s right. They’re all right. I am whipped for you.” He frowns. “Damn it, I hate it when Hao’s right.” 

That makes you laugh, a quick “ha!” that makes your eyes light up, and Mingyu finds himself feeling stronger, so he doubles down. Might as well own it. 

“But he did, he got this one right. I’m down bad.” He brings your entwined hands up, clutching them in front of him, maybe pressing his luck a little, maybe laying it on thick, but it’s barely an exaggerated version of the truth if it’s not pure simple fact. 

“‘Gyu,” you groan, rolling your eyes, but there’s a twitch in the corner of your mouth that won’t cease, and it makes his heart sing. “Knock it off. I know what you’re doing.”

“I don’t think you do.” He takes a deep breath and steps forward, backing you into the wall behind you. Your hands are caught between you, and he presses the palm of yours against his chest, wondering if you feel the spike in his heartbeat when you inhale sharply. 

“Maybe you should tell me,” you say, eyes wide but voice calm, and again, he marvels at how you strike straight at the heart of the matter, and he decides he can do the same. 

“I’m telling you that I like you.”

The next few seconds are the longest in Mingyu’s life. Nothing has ever lasted this long in the history of time. Entire civilizations are built and fall within the blink of your eyelashes. You keep looking back and forth between his eyes, and he hopes that you see whatever it is you need to believe him, and tries his best to convey clearly what he feels. Even if he’s having trouble speaking his thoughts, at least his gaze can express it. 

“You like me…” 

He nods. “A lot.” Now that he’s said it out loud, it’s hitting him just how much.  

“You like me…” you start again slowly, frowning slightly, “but you don’t like it when others point that out?” 

“I just - “ Mingyu breaks off, a sharp puff of breath exploding out in frustration. How to explain it? “I didn’t like them saying it the way they did. It… it made me feel like they were calling me weak or something.” Your frown deepens and he stumbles on. “But - but that’s stupid, and I know it’s stupid. And I - I don’t care anymore.” 

He clings to your hands, a lifeboat in a sea of turmoil, the warmth of your fingers locked between his giving him hope that this isn’t going completely downhill, this sudden confession of his. It’d be just like him to ruin this with his impatience. He’s always too eager. 

“So what do you care about?” you ask, gaze burning into his. 

And then there’s you. Always so calm and direct. God, he adores you. 

“You. How you feel.” 

As soon as the words leave his lips, you lower your eyes, in the briefest of glances at his mouth, and Mingyu feels that electric shock again, tingling all the way to his fingertips. He barely breathes as he waits for you to speak.

“If you really are whipped for me,” you finally say, “you should go tell them that.” You jerk your chin in the direction of the door.

If that’s what you want, then that’s what he’ll do. Without a second’s hesitation, Mingyu spins, his hand gripping yours to pull you back into the apartment with him. 

Seokmin gawks openly as Mingyu stomps across the room. Minghao and Jeonghan exchange a glance that last night would’ve set Mingyu spiraling, but now rolls off him like water. Mingyu comes to a stop directly in front of his friends, squaring his shoulders, trying frantically to corral his thoughts into something coherent. 

But before he can open his mouth, Minghao leans forward, placing his chin in his hand. “Shhh, guys, I think the puppy’s going to speak!” 

“Hao, shut the fuck up.” 

Minghao bristles when Mingyu snaps at him. Jeonghan and Seokmin both cackle, but then Mingyu glares at the two of them, and they fall silent. He takes a deep breath. 

“I just wanted you to know that I don’t care what you guys say about me anymore, because I like YN.” 

The words spill out of him so easily, not even the tiniest nudge needed. He glances at you to find you wearing a delighted expression and his heart goes buoyant again. He decides to ride the wave. 

“They’re amazing. I’d do anything to make them smile, so if that makes me whipped, then I guess I’m fucking whipped.” 

He’s facing you now, not caring if the others can see the obvious lovestruck look in his eye as he keeps talking, not to them, but to you. Aware that they’re probably all smirking at one another, because they figured it out before he did, but he doesn’t give a single goddamn. 

“I can’t get enough of their smile. And the way they laugh. I like how sweet they are. How honest.” Mingyu can’t stop talking at this point. It’s all gotta come out. “But never mean about it. Even when it’s something you don’t want to hear. Especially when it’s something you need to hear.” 

Your hand twitches in his with every sentence he states. He squeezes back gently as his statements get louder.

“I’m not kidding when I say I’d do anything to make them smile. I’d walk the ocean floor for them. Climb a volcano and surf the lava down barefoot. Capture a star fr-”

“Oh my god, we get it, you like them!” Jeonghan rolls his eyes. “Enough with the bad poetry.” 

“Also? We know.” Minghao snorts. “No need for the dramatic announcement, it’s not news.” 

Mingyu barely hears him, too lost in the way you’re smiling at him now. Forget his earlier rankings. This smile beats all the others. Shoots directly to the top of the list, which, now that he thinks about it, he kinda wants to write down and give to you, maybe framed. Or maybe he’ll stick it on his fridge - with a heavy magnet, of course, because it’s such a long list.

He completely loses all interest in the rest of the room, even though he’s pretty sure most of the party is staring at the two of you. Instead, he finds himself hanging anxiously on the breath you take, hoping for you to say something, to give him an indication of where things stand between you now. Because he knows you’ll be straightforward and get right to the point, whatever’s on your mind. 

You step closer, close enough for him to feel your soft laugh on his lips as you give him a look that sends his pulse rocketing. You’ve never looked at him like this before.

Forget a list. He’s gonna write a whole book. 

“Come on, whipped boy. Take me home.”

If you liked this fic, please consider reblogging! Likes do not help it get seen by other readers. 💕

© 2024 by minisugakoobies. Crossposted to AO3. Please do not copy or repost. I do not allow translations of my work.

[starryskyzx]

ೃ⁀➷ 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 * ੈ✩‧₊˚

✦ 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: 𝘁𝗼𝘅𝗶𝗰!𝘀𝘂𝗴𝘂𝗿𝘂 𝘅 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿

✦ 𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮: 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗲𝘅, 𝗴𝗲𝘁𝗼, 𝗽𝘂𝗻𝗰𝗵𝗲𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗯𝗳 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗻𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗼𝗻, 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗶𝗺 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸 𝘂𝗽 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂. 𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗻𝘁 𝗵𝗶𝗺 𝗽𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝘀𝗳, 𝗱𝗿𝘂𝗻𝗸 𝗮𝘀𝗳, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗸𝗲𝘆 𝗵𝗼𝗿𝗻𝘆 𝗮𝘀𝗳 ☠️.

✦ 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: 𝗻𝘀𝗳𝘄, 𝗼𝗿𝗮𝗹, 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝘀𝘄𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼𝘅𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻, 𝗲𝘁𝗰 (𝗹𝗺𝗸)

✦ 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 𝟭.𝟲𝗸

✦ 𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧’𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚: 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗳 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱! 𝗺𝘆 𝗮𝗽𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗶𝗲𝘀 <𝟯. 𝗹𝗺𝗸 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗰𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗸 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗲𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝗱𝗶𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 🌚.

Your boyfriend had just dumped you after getting into a fight with your ex, Geto, at a party, claiming that you two obviously still had something going on despite you guys having been broken up for months.

You attempted to explain the numerous reasons as to why this wasn’t true, one excuse being Geto was already in a new relationship, the other being that you two don’t even get along anymore. However, your now ex boyfriend wasn’t buying it considering that there was no other explanation as to why Geto drunkenly snuck him of all people.

You watched your boyfriend toss himself into the car, plotting in the back of your head, coming up with how the hell you were gonna get back at Geto for putting his hands on your boyfriend. The tires screeched as he sped off, leaving you standing there alone at this party with nothing but your frenzied thoughts.

Judging by the sounds coming from inside the house, it sounded as if the party had started back up. You took a deep breath and thought to yourself for a moment, bouncing between the idea of just getting in your car and going home or going back inside to find Geto. Before your brain could attest against it, your body began to walk back towards the party, however your plan wasn’t to dance and get drunk, but to give Geto a piece of your mind.

Stumbling into the house, you pushed through the crowd and followed the direction you saw Geto headed in before you began chasing after your boyfriend. There he stood in an empty hallway, looking into the mirror and the blood dripping from his nose. “Fuck” he muttered, taking his thumb, leaving a red smear on his top lip.

“Why the fuck would you do that?!” you yelled, immediately pressing him with hostility. “There’s my girl. No hey? Hello?”

You pushed his shoulder causing him to stumble into the wall, before stepping closer to him and persisting in shouting at him.

“I’m not your fucking ‘girl’. And what are you putting your hands on my man for? You that fuckin’ jealous?”

You pushed him again, attempting to aggravate him and intensify the seriousness of your issue. “Well for starters, aint shit to be jealous of. I know I can get you back, even if you don’t think I can.” he replied, smirking through his statement.

As much as you didn’t want to admit to it, especially since you were very much in love with your boyfriend, there did seem to be some truth in his statement.

Eventually, you backed up, leaving a little room between you two. “You’re crazy. You’re literally fucking crazy.” you said scoffing in disbelief, almost defeated at the realization that his plan to attack your boyfriend with the hopes of him breaking up with you were successful. “Maybe you just bring out the crazy in me-“

Before the sentence could finish rolling off his tongue, you took your hands and slammed them up against Geto’s neck, pushing him back against the wall again. “You think you’re crazy? Stop fucking up my relationships. Ok? We’re over.”

A forced smile appeared on his face and a strained “We’re never over. You know that.” crept its way out of his mouth.

As the party continued in the front of the house, in that hallway where only you two stood, your anger fueled your actions and your grip on Geto’s neck only tightened. In frustration with his stubbornness, you cried out a frustrated scream.

“I wanna fucking kill you”

A breathless laugh escaped his lips and he placed his hand against your wrist.

“I’m yours”

Intoxicated and frustrated, you stared at him as his facial features blurred together. You were angry at him per usual, but no matter how mad you tried to be, it was if he had a power over yout that no one else had.

It didn’t take long for you to fold as you forcefully pulled his face close, evoking a passionate, hungry kiss between you and him in the dimly lit hallway amid the ongoing party.

A swirl of emotions were captured within the kiss, as you two were obviously upset with each other but you’d also been longing for each other the entire time you guys were apart. “I broke up with my girlfriend-” he mumbled, breaking the kiss only for a second.

“Just shut up”

Your hands, still around Geto’s throat, slowly pushed him down against the wall before finally letting go. He kneeled down and compliantly looked up at you, one hand resting on your ass, the other clinging to the outside of your thigh.

He began kissing your inner leg, leaving you needy and causing you to instinctively run your fingers throughout his hair. Little purple splotches against your thighs began to appear as you impatiently started to slide your panties off from under the skintight dress you were wearing.

“I love you, baby” Geto whispered into your pussy, helping you pull your panties down to your knees. His hand moved to your clit, as he slowly started circling his thumb around it, using his other hand to spread open your lips.

His head disappeared under your dress and your body heated up once you felt his mouth come into contact with your wetness.

Euphoria filled your body in this moment. Not only were you intoxicated by the alcohol in your system, but you were also drunk off the idea of your “ex” being so needy and obsessed with you that he’d go down on you in such an open place.

Only you two were existing in the moment and to you, it didn’t matter if anyone saw you, because as Geto’s tongue swirled around your throbbing clit, it allowed you to to forget about everything.

His hand gripped your thigh, digging his fingernails into your skin, and your hand fell atop his shoulder as you didn’t know what to do with your hands.

“Fuck, Suguru-“ you whined, as anything more than two words was too much for you to mutter.

You heard small whispers coming from under your dress mumbling things like “So pretty”, and “I missed you”, but sometimes he could only pur the word “fuck” the same way you did.

Geto’s other hand moved closer towards your pussy, his lengthy fingers grazing your folds before eventually slipping them inside you.

He popped out his head from under you, only to stare at you using his dark, slender eyes through his lashes. You felt your body weakening as he inched his fingers in and out of you slow enough to tease you.

“Missed me too, huh?” he mocked, pulling out his fingers to slide them against your swollen clit, only to insert them again a few seconds later.

As if you couldn’t bring yourself to lie, your mouth instantly formed the words “Mhm- Missed you so much”, while holding his face with one of your hands. Pleased with your answer, the pace at with he thrusted his fingers into your wet cunt quickened, making your knees lock and stiffen.

His voice became so soft and sweet, almost as tender as when he’d reassure you that your relationship would be ok.

“Pretty girl~ gonna cum for me?”

“Fuck- Yes, baby” you moaned into your other hand, attempting to muffle yourself from being too loud despite music still blasting through the walls.

The slick sound of Geto’s fingers running between your folds and pounding your sweet spot with the curvature of his fingers filled your ears as you closed your eyes, reaching your climax and letting your cunt close down on his fingers.

“Just like that, pretty-“

Your essence coated his fingers, making them slip in and out of you with ease. The sounds of your moans, Geto’s praise, and your wetness splashing against his lubricious hands blurred together as your knees weakened and you came to your end.

Geto stuck out his tongue attempting to catch some of your essence that had splattered onto his palms into his mouth. He took his two fingers and slid them into his mouth, sucking all of your cum from off his middle and ring fingers.

Panting, you threw your head back in attempts to slow your heart rate back down. After a few breaths, you glanced around the hall to see if anyone was around to see the vulnerable position you had just been in. As you scanned the area, you felt a pair of hands grab the sides of your face and turn your head back forward.

Before you could protest, Geto pulled your face closer to him, pressing his soft lips against yours. His movements felt passionate and genuine, unlike your now ex boyfriend whose kisses carried more lust than love within them.

Pulling away slightly, you whispered a small “I’m sorry for yelling at you,” to Geto, still holding him close, a mere 3 inches from your face.

“I know baby,” he said placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. “Sorry for ever letting you go.”

Once more, he kissed your lips and held you in his arms as if he genuinely was sorry for ever letting you leave him. His embrace was so warm and tight, it was like he was truly serious about never letting you go again. And in this moment, you’d forgotten everything.

Your ex. The party. The fact you and Geto were broken up.

Everything.

Maybe Geto was toxic after all, and maybe you were too. But as of now, it didn’t matter whether he was manipulating you or not, because even if he was,

you two were definitely, without a doubt, getting back together <3.

[angelofsmalldeaath]

Hi!! I hope you’re doing well love! 🥰 just imagine staying in with Andrew and cuddling all day with him playing with your hair. Little kisses happen here and there, but nothing too steamy. Just laying with each other perfectly content.

sorry i've been gone for so long but i have some free time today. it rained all day and this request is speaking to me very much haha because i would have loved to spend the whole day in bed (with andrew) alas... there is work

cw: sappy as always!!!

“do you think we could have one day utterly undisturbed?” he poses the question as soon as he’s awake. well, alert at least. beside him, i turn, still half-asleep, and bury my face in his chest. 

he’s sleep-warm and soft, yet to move and disturb our perfect little cocoon. 

“i am not the famous one here,” i snicker and feel him exhale. 

his fingers trail up my arm. it’s not intentional, i realise, he’s deep in thought. if i were to open my eyes (a herculean task) and look up at him right now, i’d see that all-too-familiar expression on his face—brows pinched, lip caught between his teeth, eyes faraway. 

“darling boy—”

“we should have a day,” he interrupts, and i crack an eye open, coming face to face with his white t-shirt. “to ourselves, i mean. you and me.”

“and your phone callls?”

“i’ll turn it off!”

“would you?” i smile at him lazily, finally open my eyes too. 

he looks exactly as i’d predicted, with the addition of soft sunlight on his face, lightening his green eyes some more. the red in his hair looks gorgeous like this—messy and unkempt. without much thought, i thread my fingers through it. he closes his eyes and smiles. 

“for you?”

“no,” i thumb over the crinkles around his eyes, “for you.”

he wrinkles his nose, like a child being told to finish his vegetables. “things feel better when i do them for you.”

“alright, then,” i relent and continue threading my fingers through his hair. it’s a languid movement, and yet he leans into it. “would you turn it off for me?”

“but it’s all the way over there!” he almost whines, pointing somewhere behind his back, at his phone that’s barely a foot away. 

i laugh. “and if it rings?”

“you have my full permission to chuck it out the window,” he declares, pulling me closer until we are one tangled entity, limbs intertwined—his leg between mine and my face tucked in the crook of his neck and his chin on top of my head. 

“what should we do then?” i giggle. it’s funny how much he doesn’t want to get out bed today, not to make coffee or use the loo, not to get a book to read and pass the time, not even to think about having breakfast. i let it be. it’s not often we have this. 

“stay like this?”

“for how long?”

“hmmm,” the vibrations from his voice pass through my whole body and send tingles down my spine, “the entire day maybe, the night too. i don’t know, forever.”

sluggishly he shifts, until his hand is right by my head, fingers weaving through my hair. it’s gentle, tender, so much so that i feel sleep coming over me once again, but i strain my eyes and stay awake. 

“i could get behind that,” i speak into his chest, voice muffled. a moment later, he tilts my chin up for a kiss—featherlight, barely-there, and yet it leaves goosebumps in its wake.

it doesn’t go unnoticed either. a moment later, he lets go of my lips and trails kisses up my arm—sweet, chaste kisses that somehow do the opposite of what he intends. or perhaps this is exactly what he intends. 

“and what happens when we get hungry, hmm?”

“is my love not enough for you?!” he grumbles and i snort, unable to keep it in at his exasperated tone. it takes more effort than i’m happy with, but when i kiss his nose in response, he smiles again. 

we stay quiet after that—maybe for a minute, maybe for an hour—but when i open my eyes, he’s already staring at me. 

“hi,” i giggle.

“hi,” he copies my tone. 

i feel a little shy then. there’s no reason for it. we have done this before—stolen mornings and tiny moments rescued from the clutches of busy afternoons, swamped evenings that still somehow hold pockets of quiet for the two of us—but he’s right here now, holding me so close like he never intends on letting go. 

i hope he doesn’t.

“sounds like a good day in my head,” i confess in a whispered voice, “to be here with you and do nothing.”

he nods and kisses me again, a little longer this time, a little more fierce. “sounds perfect to me too.”

[itsyaniwym]

What does the person you can’t get off your mind want to tell you? 𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

PIle 1 ᶠᶸᶜᵏᵧₒᵤ! PIle 2 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 Pile 3☆𓆏𓍊𓋼𓍊

Choose the pile that resonates with you the most in whatever way you see fit. I ask my spirit guides to place this upon the collective of people that need to see it, and those only. I ask that you are truthful with yourself. So if you are seeing this is a pick-a-pile reading it is for a reason, pls don't take it for granted. Whatever pile you choose and most guided to you is exactly what you need to hear. Always remember roles can be reversed.

** ⚠️TRIGGER WARNING IF YOU DONT WANT TO HEAR THE TRUTH THESE READINGS ARE NOT FOR YOU!!!⚠️

Pile 1

This pile is VERY VERY harsh

The Chariot reversed, Death, The Devil reverse, Judgement reverse, 10 of swords

Pile one this person wants to tell you its over. I don’t know what happened between you guys for the energy to be so harsh, but they are done and they aren’t looking back. Point blank period. You may have been over giving to this situation where a person was keeping secrets from you. It seems this connection was very in and out. They are exhausted from the constant back and forth and power struggles here. They felt like no matter where they turned with you, the connection just would not go right. It was constant pattern of toxicity here that they want to be released from. This connection has really hurt them bad and taken toll on them, they feel that its finally time to take their energy back and heal parts of themselves you might have had a part in breaking. This is a very painful ending for the both of you, but its no turning back. Whatever happened here changed everything. They are in immense pain, I see a lot of tears and releasing. They feel you guys weren’t right for each other but the toxicity was very addicting. This may have gone on for a long time, maybe even years and its finally on its wits end. This person really felt like you did them wrong. You may have cheated on them or they cheated on you. It feels very karmic. Release

1010 | 111 | 11 | 1011 | XX | XV | 3 years 

“love aint got to shit to do with me and you“

“Don’t take nothing for you to love me babe”

“All these b*tches don’t wanna be cheated on, but all these b*tches want to cheat”

**alot of little Kim songs were channels this may be a femme fatale, lilith energy.

Pile 2.

3 of swords, 6 of wands reversed, hanged man, the star, emperor in the reverse

This maybe someone from the past that you disconnected from because they didnt take any action towards you. They are still trying to figure out where their emotions lie with you but there is a feeling of despair. I feel like this pile feels like you left them hanging when they really wanted you, and this cause their confidence and self esteem to plummet. You may have ghosted this person or they ghosted you because they didnt have the courage to come forward. You make them feel small and powerless and they constantly overthink how the this connection ended and what they could have done to change the outcome to something better. They really saw a future with you in the past but lack of confidence is what held this back on either party. They wish they could show the depth of their emotions but I don’t see them coming forward with this information and just keeping it within their head. They are working on healing their own confidence at this point. You both may have been waiting for each other to make the first move but nobody ever did. They seem to have a low self-confidence in general or aren’t as mature. They might have trust issues as well and its hard for them to even trust in the first place. You might have declined their calls or didn’t respond to their message, they might have thought that there was someone else. 

 Pisces Aquarius Aries 

“Dont you be holding back your love, don’t you be holding back

Pile 3.

3 of swords, Hanged man reverse, 7 of wands reverse, 3 of wands, ace of swords, 9 of wands

Pile 2 and Pile 3 are very similar. I HIGHLY advice that if you chose this pile to read pile 2 as well. I feel this person is very afraid to tell you some sort of truth. There is a lot of pain being experienced here form this person and I feel it is because they are afraid to take action towards something they really have to say to you. This connection seems to be divinely guided by your spirit guides and whatever happened here was supposed to happen in both of you guys’ life to teach you a valuable lesson, no matter how painful it was. Although this person is very afraid, they are gaining confidence to come in and tell you some truth. They are standing up to their fears and freeing themselves from shame. They are feeling very empowered in the moment. This person felt like they got a false start with you and they now want to reintroduce themselves, for what they really are and be truthful about their true character. They may have came off as a player. They are taking huge strides within themselves to come correct. They seem to still be stuck on hurt and regrets of the past. They are completely re-inventing themselves as of right now and working on how they can be as brave as possible. I see them wanting to come in very bold and direct, they are just looking for the right time. They would like to tell you that whether it works out with you or not they are in a place where they are happy just being the best version of themselves. 

“I work to please me cause I can’t please you, that’s why I do what I do” 

Fire sign energy heavy

141 | 144 | 414 | 114

Dallas 

“Blocked me from your phone, im still loving you"

[nereidprinc3ss]

weber's law

in which spencer reid comforts fem!reader when she's having a panic attack at the rossi mansion

fluff warnings/tags: panic attack lol, spencer is really cute and sweet my little perfect cutie pie angel baby, classic spencer info dumps bc they're pretty much his love language, established relationship, cheesy and sweet at the end a/n: this one is for my queens with panic disorders who are triggered by literally nothing and everything i see you have this ilysm

When Spencer had invited you to a small get-together at Rossi’s, you’d imagined a small get-together at Rossi’s. 

And maybe that makes you a complete idiot. 

Or maybe Spencer is just so used to FBI work functions that to him, this really is small.

But now you’re sitting on an expensive couch in a very nice house, and you’re surrounded by FBI agents who are all milling around and talking and laughing, and you’re worried maybe your outfit doesn’t look as nice on you as you’d thought it did, and you keep having very vivid visions of spilling your drink all over a furry throw rug that probably costs more than your rent does. 

Music that could reasonably be considered relaxing or at the very least not objectionable plays over the sound system throughout the whole house and thus is inescapable—not that you’d get up from the couch even if you could, because Spencer is sitting to your right and he has his hand on your thigh and it’s the only thing that has until this point been keeping you from a full blown panic attack.

Maybe that makes you a complete idiot, too.

Regardless, you try to focus on nothing but the weight of his hand as it travels slowly up and down from knee to hip over the jeans you’re not so sure about, and the feeling of your breath coming and going, as slow as you can possibly summon it without passing out. 

Spencer is laughing at something JJ is saying as she stands next to the couch with Will and you really like JJ but her voice seems so loud right now, and nothing is going particularly wrong but everything feels so, so wrong it’s scary. 

All the buzzing tension in your body telling you to run away because you’re unsafe and at the same time locking you into place builds until you have to express it somehow. So you revert to an old habit—bouncing your leg rapidly like a rabbit thumping its foot. It’s not entirely conscious, but it feels better than being completely still. That is, until Spencer’s hand strays inward and cups just above your inner knee, where he begins fanning his thumb back and forth over the fabric. 

“What’s this?” he murmurs, head angled toward you and voice low enough to not draw attention. You force yourself to plant your heel to the ground even though it worsens the feeling of gears crunching in your chest. 

“Nothing. Sorry.”

That gets his attention. 

Because of course it does. He’s always telling you to stop saying sorry so often. 

His tone solidifies, still quiet but committed to this conversation now and no longer the whispery apparition of a quick aside. 

“Why are you sorry?” 

“I don’t know, it wasn’t—it’s nothing.”

You barely avoid apologizing again. 

For a moment he doesn’t speak, just watches you—and you make the mistake of raising your gaze to meet his. He has that curious, analytical look about him, concern tightening his eyes and knitting his brow. He’s doing that annoying mind-reading thing again, and as soon as he actually sees your eyes, he’s figured you out. 

“Do you want to go outside for a minute? Get some air?”

After examining his face for any clues that he’d rather stay in here, (not that you’d really know what to look for), you nod hesitantly. Spencer mirrors your nod and stands, holding out his hand for you to take as you follow suit after setting your drink on a side table (without spilling.)

JJ is now wrapped up in conversation with another agent and the two of you manage to abscond without attracting unwanted attention, which makes you feel slightly better as Spencer leads you deftly through rooms with high-vaulted ceilings and big windows and heavy, expensive looking oak furniture. It seems like you’ve been wandering through a maze when you arrive to a quieter part of the house and he opens a french door for you—which leads out onto an empty patio. 

A cool breeze immediately sinks into your skin, and your nervous system is so hyper-alert that it gives you chills. Spencer notices the way you shiver and steps closer after closing the door behind him, his hand finding the small of your back immediately. 

“You okay?” he asks, intentionally avoiding impeding your view of the sweeping backyard and the trees beyond. Sometimes focusing on something stationary is less overwhelming, but they’re so tall they seem imposing. Threatening, even. 

But then again, everything feels threatening right now. 

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

Spencer seems unconvinced by your monotone—when you glance over at him he’s still watching you like you’re a puzzle to be solved. 

“Are you sure? You can tell me if you’re not.”

“Why are you so convinced something is wrong?” you laugh, but it comes out too manic. You cross your arms. He looks pointedly at the motion. 

“For starters, that. Often times crossing your arms is a subconscious way of comforting yourself when you feel defensive or threatened. And you could say it’s because you’re cold, but—” he pauses, reaching out to touch your cheek. “I can feel how hot your face is, and you shivered when we came outside even though it’s 71 degrees because your nervous system is overreacting to external stimuli. The leg-bouncing is also often indicative of an activated parasympathetic nervous system. Is me touching you okay?”

Again, you nod—unsure how to deflect when he calls you out so efficiently. 

Spencer’s hand slides down to just beneath your jaw, where he rests two fingers. Each second that passes has him looking progressively more worried. You wish you weren’t quite so catatonic—the fairy lights hanging from the pergola shine through his hair and make him glow so appealingly you want to kiss his cheek. 

“Your heart rate is really high, honey.”

That would be due to the sense of impending doom. Thanks for pointing it out.

But you’ve lost your words, and along with them has gone your sense of humor. All you can manage for a 30 second span is a meaningless shake of your head as you avert your eyes, staring at the sprawling carpet of blue-green grass soaked in night as each blade doubles with your tears. 

“I think I’m dying,” you finally croak.

“Technically, we all are. Very slowly.”

Ah. There’s that social tact he’s so well known for. 

“Spencer.”

“Right,” he kisses your cheek as you stare up at him, affronted, and pulls you into his chest. “Sorry. I was actually trying to be helpful. Changes in brain chemistry and hormonal activity associated with panic attacks change your perception of time and make things feel really fast which can contribute to feelings of anxiety. But in reality time is moving just the same as it always is. One second is always one second. Sometimes remembering that helps me to slow down. Not literally, of course. My gravitational pull isn’t great enough to have any discernible effect on the passage of time.”

You sniff, pressing your cheek to his tie. His words make your head spin, seeing as you hadn't been prepared for a lecture in psychophysics—but it spins in the opposite direction than it had been going previously. It's nice.

“Change your perception of time?”

“Weber’s law of perception. Stimulus sensitivity will increase proportionally with increased stimulus intensity. You’re only perceiving time to be going faster because your cortisol and adrenaline levels are making you hyper-vigilant and sensitive to all the markers of time passing.”

“Like what?”

Spencer hums, the bass of it a comforting resonance against your ear, and strokes your hair unhurriedly. 

“Like… your internal clock. Your body measures time with your heartbeat, so when your heart rate increases, time seems to go faster. Also environmental cues, which lead you to understand that the world is not stagnant and thus is not frozen in time. Like the sound of the wind chimes…” he pauses, long enough for you to realize that indeed, you can hear the gentle, sonorous ringing and tinkling of steel chimes bouncing against each other. “And the wind itself, which is coming all the way from the Gulf of Mexico. Some studies actually suggest that wind direction can affect your energy levels and mood.”

It’s a gentle breeze more than it is full-blown wind. It feels cool against your hot skin. 

Spencer’s hand on the back of your head, still rhythmically smoothing your hair, seems to slow down the passage of time as well. You focus on that, and the sound of the wind chimes and the breeze on your skin for a few minutes, until your breathing and your heart rate slow and soon you regain your footing in the temporal dimension, exactly sure of where you stand on Rossi’s patio and in your boyfriend’s arms. 

“You tricked me into doing a grounding exercise,” you mumble into Spencer’s jacket. 

“I did not trick you,” he defends, voice quiet to match yours. “I just wanted to make you feel better. Did it work?”

You pull away from him and he lets you, watching on as you sniffle and wipe your tears on your sleeves. 

“Yeah, it did. Thank you.”

For a moment, neither of you speak as you gather yourself. He leads you by the hand to a cushioned hanging bench at the end of the patio, taking a seat next to you and gently rocking the swing. 

“Do you know what triggered that?” Spencer asks, over the gentle creaking sound. You shrug, observing the dance of the fireflies in the grass. 

“Nothing. Sometimes I just feel like everything’s wrong and scary but I didn’t want to tell you and ruin your night.”

“Hey,” Spencer murmurs, pulling you into him with an arm around your shoulder. “You are not ruining my night. I don’t want you to worry about that.”

“But all your friends and coworkers are inside, and you’re out here with me.”

He angles his head down toward you and you look up to meet his eyes, even warmer than the sticky summer night. 

“I am. Do you know why?”

“Because I suck,” you sniffle, more hot tears rolling down your cheeks as you attempt to look away. But Spencer’s not having it. He encourages you to sit up again so you can look at him properly, before wiping tears away gently with his thumb. When he speaks, it’s in soft, soothing tones. 

“No. I’m out here because if all my friends were inside having fun, and you were outside having a panic attack, I would choose you every time.”

You manage a laugh through the crying. 

“I don’t know if that’s healthy.”

“Whether or not it’s healthy is an entirely different discussion,” Spencer smiles wryly, before it melts into something softer and more sincere. “All that matters is that it’s true.”

For a while after that, you simply lay your head on his shoulder. Spencer controls the speed of the swing with his much-longer legs, kissing your head and rubbing your arm as you admire the expanse of Rossi’s lush yard bathed in moonlight and the black silhouette of the forest beyond. 

Eventually, Spencer speaks again, likely to make sure you’re not spiraling alone in your head. 

“Can I tell you an extremely classified secret that I've been trying really hard to keep to myself for three days?” he asks, and the mischievous edge to his voice catches your attention. You hum in assent, already wondering what kind of information Spencer would have a hard time keeping to himself. It could be anything. 

“Anderson is sleeping with Childers from Operational Tech.”

“What?”

Despite not working for the FBI yourself, Spencer and Penelope have you so filled in on the drama that you know exactly why that’s shocking. 

You pick your head up to look at him like do not fuck with me right now. 

His eyes sparkle as he nods.

“Yep.”

“Didn’t you tell me Childers was dating that girl in sex crimes?”

Spencer raises his eyebrows. The corner of his mouth twitches. You gasp. 

“No! What? Does Anderson know?”

“I don’t know. I certainly didn’t want to be the one to tell him.”

“Wait—Anderson told you this?”

“Yeah!” He laughs incredulously at your complete disbelief. “People tell me things! I’m an excellent confidant!”

“If you’re relaying all of this information to me then you’re a terrible confidant,” you chuckle, still watery—but feeling light years better. 

Spencer brushes your hair away from your face fondly, leaning a fraction of an inch closer. 

“You don’t count. Telling you secrets is basically the same as keeping them to myself.”

“Basically,” you tease, angling your head up by a few degrees in invitation. Spencer says nothing, does nothing for a long moment—just studies you with soft eyes, continues stroking your cheek. When he takes too long to kiss you, you get impatient. “I’m still kinda anxious, you know.”

He smiles knowingly.  

“Yeah?”

“Mhm,” you nod, looking pointedly at his lips. “You should kiss me better.”

“I think that would take more than just one kiss,” he murmurs through a smile, leaning ever closer until your noses are bumping. “I think I would have to devote several hours to that. Maybe even a whole day.”

“How does tomorrow look for you?” 

He’s laughing as he finally presses his lips to yours. The kiss is sweet and lingering. 

“For you? It’s wide open.”

[deusvervewrites]

I’ve been working my way through your stories and your lore posts. I’m also finally catching up to the end of the MHA manga. My thoughts on the endings of various character arcs is something you might vibe with. Sometimes, mercy to the guilty becomes cruelty to the innocent. It’s great writing when the villains are people you can sympathize with, but it’s weird that the heroes are this focused on saving the villains that are causing so much death and destruction. Your thoughts?

The entire point of My Hero Academia is saving people.

From the first page of the first chapter until now that has never changed.

I've seen people criticizing Midoriya for not going out onto the battlefield to personally and deliberately murder Shgiaraki and I wonder if they're the same people who think Aang should have killed Ozai.

The idea of mercy to the guilty leads to cruelty to the innocent is what caused the entire plot. Had the people at the Dawn of Quirks not immediately started murdering children for being born "wrong", All For One wouldn't have had to cope by doubling down on their propaganda to justify his own existence to himself. But those people were "guilty" of being born wrong, and if they showed mercy to them, then what? What if those people turned on them? No, no. Better to not take that chance.

If Kotaro had forgiven his mother, Shigaraki would never have happened.

If the Togas had accepted their daughter, Himiko would never have become a murderer.

Spinner never left the house because he was seen as "guilty" of the sin of being a mutant. People were massacred for that sin.

Civilians nearly murdered Ippan Josei, a civilian herself, because they believed that mercy to the guilty is cruelty to themselves.

The greatest flaw of the Hero System is that it dehumanized everyone under it. The Heroes were flawless paragons who could never live up to their own hype and swiftly abandoned for failing. The Villains were deemed to be inherently bad and punished for it.

Endeavor was allowed to abuse his wife and all four children and faced no repercussions. Because he's a Hero and Heroes are good. Touya wasn't born correctly enough and was punished over a one-sided feud a generation before him.

Nobody was seen as human. That's literally the point of the final battle. Midoriya, Uraraka, Todoroki, they all had to recognize the humanity of the people they were fighting and remind them of it.

The thesis of My Hero Academia, of every single arc of My Hero Academia, is that Heroes are not "good" and Villains are not "evil." That failing to recognize that fact leads to dark places, like a government that doesn't bat an eye at murdering its own citizens to maintain power. Laws that strip you of your own bodily autonomy.

During his battle against All For One at Kamino, All Might states the the reason Heroes never lose is because they have people to save. The chapter titled Bakugou Katsuki: Rising, his origin chapter, is about 300 chapters into the manga and the first time he saves someone.

All For One and the HPSC are both cruel relics of the past doing their best to manipulate their way to power, viewing everyone in their way as disposable pawns. They're the same. You could even make an argument that the laws against Quirk use means the HPSC is literally giving and taking away Quirks via licenses. And they both completely crumble in large part because of their refusal to see people when it is so much easier to see the enemy.

My Hero Academia is a story about extending your hand to those in need.

[eukarisparadise]

I don't think you know why problematic tropes are problematic

This opinion may make me eaten and torn apart (in particular, by the BSD fandom, since I will use them as an example) but I will nevertheless say what I thought for a long time: media literacy is truly dead. Of course, it's useless to say this on Tumblr, where every second person apparently has a degree in literature, but most of the people who make up the fandoms, unfortunately, don't live here, but on Pinterest and TikTok. And their attention span is so short that it becomes even funny.

People see the word «proship», see the examples of these same proships, make their own analogies and go on, branding any pairing that they don't like as a proship – without understanding, at the same time, what makes a proship such.

Let's take as an example the absolutely harmless «mentor-mentee» trope, which in the eyes of the fandom somehow ALWAYS transforms into «teacher-student», which indeed very often turns out to be problematic (in fact, I can’t even think of a single example where this would be even ethical). I don't know what people are thinking about when they say there's some element of imbalance in a relationship like this – the thought process is probably: «one character is smarter/knows more than the other/can influence the other somehow» -> «the second character, accordingly, automatically becomes stupid, gullible, naive and helpless because of this, and the first one will inevitably use their knowledge to... uh... manipulate them? Something like that». When in reality, not only is this not a bad thing in itself – but it is also not the main reason why «teacher-student» is (let's be real, effectively always) a problematic trope.

I can't believe that I need to spell it out, but apparently it needs to be said: the real reason as to why relationships between students and teachers are considered unethical, is because most often they can be found, well, in educational institutions – in schools and universities. And if with the first everything is already clear – adults creeping on children is gross and illegal – then with the second, although both parties are usually adults, the problem doesn't magically go away.

Professors have power over the students – and this power has an unhealthy imbalance when the student’s education and career directly depend on the will, assessment and, more often than not, the whim of the professor. For this very reason, the relationship between a boss and a subordinate is also considered dangerous – the subordinate simply does not have the power to balance the influence of their superior on their life. This, and not the magical excuse «well, he's much more experienced, and so will probably RUIN him», is the main reason why the teacher-student relationship is toxic and wrong.

But let's be honest, the real reason for labeling certain pairings as proships isn't that people don't understand why certain tropes are problematic – it's just a fancy word to label your least favorite pairings and justify your hate towards them. I said I'll provide an example from the BSD fandom, and I give it: Soukoku shippers most often do this to others, and I admit this, despite the fact that I myself am one of them.

I am absolutely not ashamed to admit that, although Soukoku is my №1 ship, the fandom absolutely unfairly treats other pairings with Dazai – and in particular, Dazatsu. This pairing never really been to me, but I acknowledge its existence and genuinely don't see anything even remotely unethical or wrong in it – in fact, it seems a lot more healthy than whatever we are in rn – which leads me to conclusion, that people only pick on it to make themselves feel better about their respective pairings. Or maybe I'm just tone deaf and don't understand something (I have suspected autism so I apologize if I'm not reading the room or seeing the bigger picture).

It's just... another argument people like to throw at this pairing is the «age gap», and please don't even start with this – the age gap would be uncomfortably weird if Dazai was closer to 30 or older, but he's effectively Atsushi's and everyone else's peer. Or maybe I'm just biased, because I have an anecdotal experience of dating a 22 year old guy when I was 18 (I'm now 20) from my university (but we were from different faculties). It wouldn't, of course, match with everyone's experience, but to me it was just a normal healthy relationship like with any guy exactly my age. I was close-ish to 19 though, and already finished my first year of uni when we met, but idk – the interactions were absolutely equal and we felt no difference between each other at all. Which leads me to another take: a 4 year old age gap between an adult Atsushi and adult Dazai IS NOT THE SAME as 4 year old age gap between Atsushi and Kyoka 💀 Not only is it illegal, but even the mental development of a 14 year old child is much lower than that of an adult. And I know, there are people who ship them – why not keep the same energy for them? You know, for the actual proship?

And a separate topic is to label their relationship as «father and son». Dazai can be Atsushi's father figure no more than, let's say, Kunikida or anyone else. The same people who mold Dazai into an intelligent and adult, emotionally mature and responsible individual then turn away at the official art and laugh at how he is so «silly goofy, he’s such a menace to society lmao🤪» The fandom is well aware that this person (at least at this stage of his life) can hardly be left responsible for even a goldfish, much less raise someone, but this standard doesn't apply to everyone else except Chuuya. Why? Because Soukoku is the dominant pairing in the fandom. And although I personally like it, that doesn't mean this treatment is fair.

And sometimes people’s desperate attempts to draw at least some kind of problematic nature to this pairing begin to look really silly:

Idk, I think it's much more weird if people wish THIS to be a portrayal of father-son relationship...

As I said earlier, for the majority of the fandom that lives on TikTok, age and type of relationship are absolutely not a reason to ship something or not: otherwise the Sigma/Dazai pairing wouldn't have become so popular in the same TikTok. I understand that Sigma was «created» by the book as an adult (even though we don't know his exact origins), but technically he's only been in this world for five years – but no one had a problem with that. Why? Just because Sigma is pretty (but don't get me wrong, he really is pretty).

The age gap between them doesn't seem to be an issue, as well as their relationship status «the newbie to the Agency and the one that brought them there». Leaves a room for a thought.

[stylesispunk]

'You gave me something to lose'

Joel Miller x f!reader

summary: Joel is afraid of losing you.

wc: 4k>

warnings: angst, mentions of panic attacks, fluff. Messy writing cause this is an old draft.

a/n: this was on my drafts for so long so I'm posting this as a gift because I'm going to London for the next two weeks and I won't be very active on here. So once I return, I promise I'll write the pendant things and requests I have. I hope you like this one. Happy reading 💌

dividerers by @/saradika-graphics

Joel didn’t fear anything, not dying nor being alone or even broke.

Not the clickers, not darkness, but you.

when his mission to take Ellie to the fireflies became into caring for the teen, he felt panicked.

And when he learned he had fallen deeply in love with you, you gave him something to lose.

And he was frightened.

Joel had always been a fortress, walls built high and strong to keep out the pain and loss he had endured. But now, those walls were crumbling. Each moment he spent with you, each secret you both had shared, each tender touch, chipped away at the defenses he had so meticulously constructed.

Since the day Joel met you at the QZ in Boston, you had stolen something from him. He didn’t decipher what back then, but every time you weren’t on his sight, a knot formed on his stomach. Every time he caught a glimpse of you, his blood rushed into his cheeks.

And God, every single time you smiled at him, he could find a reason to keep surviving in this world, again.

And that’s why when you had decided to go after him, when he and Tess took Ellie with them to the fireflies. He had made up his mind, between the anger and tinted loved was feeling for you right at that moment, he had decided he was going to protect you more than anything or anyone. Even when you got on his nerves.

The journey to the fireflies was grueling. The roads were treacherous, infested with clickers and hunters. Every step was a battle, every night a gamble. But Joel was relentless. He led the way with a grim determination, always keeping you and Ellie close. The tension was palpable, a silent acknowledgment of the danger that lurked in every shadow.

One evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm orange glow over the desolate landscape, you found a moment of respite. The group set up camp in an abandoned building, its crumbling walls offering a semblance of shelter. Joel, ever vigilant, took the first watch.

You approached him, the flickering firelight casting dancing shadows across his weathered face. He looked up as you neared, his eyes softening slightly. “You should get some rest,” he said, his voice a low rumble.

You shook your head, sitting down beside him. “I can’t sleep. Too much on my mind.”

Joel glanced at you, the hint of a smile playing on his lips. “Yeah, I get that.” There was a pause, a comfortable silence settling between you. “You know,” he began, his voice barely above a whisper, “I never thought I’d feel this way again. Not after everything.”

You looked at him, searching his eyes. “What do you mean?”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’ve…” he paused, “Never mind.”

You furrowed your brow, sensing the weight of his unspoken words. “Joel, you can talk to me. Whatever it is, I’m here.”

He looked away, his jaw tightening. “It’s just… it’s hard to explain.” He paused again, just a few seconds, lifting his gaze up to yours “Why did you followed us three?” he asked.

The question caught you off guard, but you didn’t hesitate in your response. “I didn’t follow all of you. I followed you.”

“Why?”

“Because back in the QZ there wasn’t a life after you” you confessed, “Life sucks in there, but without you it would be worse.”

Joel’s eyes widened slightly, the vulnerability of your words hitting him harder than he expected. He stared at you, trying to process the depth of your feelings. “I never knew…”

“Of course you didn’t,” you interrupted softly. “You’ve always been so focused on surviving, on protecting Tess and yourself, that you’ve never stopped to see how much you mean to people. How much you mean to me.”

He shook his head, struggling to find the right words. “Good to know it because I feel the same about you.”

Your heart skipped a beat, his admission filling you with warmth. "Joel..."

He took a deep breath, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that made your heart race. “When I met you, I didn’t think I could care for anyone again. But you... you changed that.”

You felt tears welling up in your eyes, but you held them back, not wanting to break the cosmic moment “I’m glad. Because I can’t imagine going through this without you.”

Joel reached out, his hand cupping your cheek, his thumb gently brushing away a stray tear that had escaped. “Now can you, please go to sleep?”

“Can I sleep here?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

Joel’s expression softened, and without hesitation, he nodded. “Yeah, you can.”

He shifted, making room for you to lie down beside him. As you settled in, the warmth of his body next to yours was both comforting and grounding. You felt his arm wrap around you, pulling you closer, and you snuggled into his embrace, feeling safe and protected.

“Thank you,” you murmured, your voice muffled against his chest.

“For what?” he asked softly, his breath warm against your hair.

“For letting me in. For trusting me.”

Joel pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head. “I trust you more than anyone. And I’m glad you’re here. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

You smiled, the weight of the world feeling just a little bit lighter in his arms. “We’ll figure it out together. “As the night deepened, the sounds of the wilderness outside seemed distant, the crackling fire casting a gentle glow around you. Joel’s steady heartbeat and the rise and fall of his chest were the lullaby that finally coaxed you into sleep. In his arms, you found a peace you hadn’t known in a long time.

He felt his heart giving up for you.

That had happened a few months ago.

And Joel had become afraid. He found himself lying awake almost every night, staring at the sky and the stars, a storm of thoughts raging in his mind. What if something happened to you? What if he couldn't protect you? The thought of losing you, of seeing the light fade from your eyes, was a nightmare he couldn't bear. It was a fear far greater than anything he had ever faced; greater than the harsh realities of the post-apocalyptic world he had navigated for so long.

During the day, he tried to push these fears aside, trying to focus on the present. But it was impossible. Every smile you gave him reminded him of what he stood to lose. Every time you reached for his hand, his heart ached with the weight of his love for you and the dread of its potential loss.

He watched you with Ellie, how you cared for her, and how you brought joy and laughter into her bleak world. He saw how you made her feel safe and loved, and it only made his feelings for you deepen. Ellie, too, had become a part of this fragile, makeshift family, and his love for both of you intertwined, creating a web of vulnerability he couldn't escape.

The wind howled outside, carrying with it the bitter cold of the frozen winter night. Inside the small, dilapidated cabin, a fire crackled in the hearth, casting a warm glow across the room. You, Joel, and Ellie huddled close to the fire, trying to fend off the chill that seemed to seep through the very walls.

Ellie poked at the fire with a stick, her eyes reflecting the dancing flames. "What do you think it’ll be like, Joel?" she asked, her voice filled with a mix of hope and uncertainty.

Joel looked up from the map he was studying, his eyes softening as he met Ellie’s gaze. "What do you mean?"

"After the cure," she said. "When this is all over. What do you think it’ll be like?"

Joel leaned back against the rough wooden wall, his mind drifting to a time long past. "I reckon things will be...different. Better, maybe. People could rebuild, start over. There might be schools again, towns with shops, places where kids can just be kids."

Ellie smiled at the thought, her imagination running wild with possibilities. "I want to learn to play guitar," she said. "Like you, Joel. You promised to teach me, remember?"

Joel chuckled softly, a rare sound in these harsh times. "Yeah, I remember. We'll find one, and I'll teach you. Maybe we can even have a little concert, you and me."

You watched the exchange, a warm feeling spreading through your chest. "What about you, Joel? What's something you’d want to do?"

Joel hesitated, his eyes flicking to you. "I... I’d like to have a place of our own. Somewhere safe. Maybe a little house with a garden. We could grow our own food, live a quiet life. Just...be together."

You smiled, your heart swelling with affection. "That sounds nice," you said softly. "Really nice."

The conversation drifted into a comfortable silence, each of you lost in thoughts of a hopeful future. You leaned against Joel, the warmth of his body a comforting presence. His arm wrapped around you instinctively, pulling you closer.

Ellie yawned and stretched out on the floor next to the fire. "I think I'm going to get some sleep," she said, her voice already heavy with exhaustion.

"Good idea," Joel replied. "I’ll keep the watch."

Ellie nodded and pulled her blanket tightly around herself, quickly drifting off to sleep. You and Joel stayed by the fire, the quiet crackling of the flames the only sound in the room.

"Do you really think there’s hope for a cure?" you asked quietly, your head resting on his shoulder.

Joel sighed, his fingers gently stroking your arm. "I don't know," he admitted. "But I have to believe there is. For Ellie. For you."

You tilted your head up to look at him, your eyes searching his. "You’ve been through so much, Joel. Yet you still find it in you to hope. That’s incredible."

He shook his head slightly. "It's not hope," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "It's you.”

Joel’s panic attacks had become more frequent as the days passed. Every quiet moment seemed to stretch into an eternity of worry and fear. He could feel the weight of his responsibilities pressing down on him, and the constant fear that he wouldn’t be able to protect you or Ellie gnawed at him relentlessly.

When the three of you had finally arrived at Jackson, Joel’s thoughts were a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. Jackson was a sanctuary, a place where you could all be safe, but his fears didn’t dissipate. If anything, they grew stronger. The more secure the surroundings, the more he worried about what could go wrong.

Jackson was bustling with life, a stark contrast to the desolate landscapes they had traversed. Children played in the streets, people worked in gardens, and there was a sense of community and hope that was almost overwhelming. Joel watched it all with a heavy heart, his mind racing.

He couldn’t shake the feeling that he was going to die, that some unseen danger would take him away from you and Ellie. The thought of leaving you unprotected was unbearable. That’s when the idea started to form: maybe the best way to protect you was to leave you in Jackson, where you’d be safe. Where you could even find someone younger than him to kept you alive.

Joel sought out his brother. He found Tommy in the community hall, finishing up some late-night paperwork. The room was quiet, the only sound the scratch of Tommy’s pen against the paper.

"Tommy," Joel said, his voice low and strained.

Tommy looked up, immediately sensing the urgency in his brother’s tone. "Joel, what’s going on? You look like you’ve seen a ghost."

Joel took a deep breath, his hands trembling. He sat down across from Tommy, his eyes filled with anguish. "I need to talk to you. It’s about Ellie and... and my….my " He couldn’t find the words to describe you. Calling you his lover wasn’t a proper word to use, it felt so weak. There was not nickname that could make justice to what you meant to him.

“Your girlfriend?” Tommy asked.

Joel nodded.

Tommy set his pen down, giving Joel his full attention. "Alright, tell me what’s on your mind."

Joel’s voice cracked as he spoke. "I don’t know how much longer I can do this. The fear... it’s eating me alive. I’m so scared something’s going to happen to them, and I won’t be able to protect them."

Tommy’s expression softened. "Joel, you’re in Jackson now. It’s safe here. We’ve got walls, people who care about each other. You don’t have to do this alone."

Joel shook his head, tears welling up in his eyes. "You don’t understand. I feel like I’m going to die, like something’s going to take me away from them. And then what? What happens to them if I’m gone?"

Tommy reached out, placing a reassuring hand on Joel’s shoulder. "We’ll take care of them, Joel. You’re not alone in this."

Joel’s tears began to fall, his voice choked with emotion. "I’m asking you to take Ellie with you. Keep her safe. And let my baby stay here in Jackson. She deserves a life that’s not filled with running and fear."

Tommy’s eyes widened in shock. "Joel, are you sure about this? You’re talking about leaving them behind."

"I’m not leaving them," Joel said, his voice trembling. "I’m trying to protect them. They’ll be safer without me."

Tommy sighed, his heart breaking for his brother. "And what about you, Joel? What happens to you if you leave?"

Joel wiped his tears, trying to steady himself. "I’ll find a way to keep going. I just need to know they’re safe. That’s all that matters."

Tommy nodded slowly, understanding the depth of Joel’s fear and love. "Alright, Joel. If this is what you think is best, I’ll take care of them. But you need to talk to them first. They deserve to know why you’re doing this."

Joel nodded, his heart heavy with the weight of his decision. "I will. Thank you, Tommy."

Tommy pulled Joel into a tight embrace; his voice filled with emotion. "We’re family, Joel. We take care of each other."

Joel clung to his brother, the tears flowing freely now. He knew the conversation with you and Ellie would be one of the hardest things he’d ever have to do, but he also knew it was necessary. The fear of losing you both was too great to ignore, and he hoped that, in time, you would understand why he had to make this choice.

Joel walked slowly to Ellie’s room, his heart heavy with the burden of what he was about to do. He knew this conversation would be one of the hardest of his life, but he also believed it was necessary. He took a deep breath and knocked softly on her door.

“Come in,” Ellie’s voice called from inside.

He opened the door and stepped into the room. Ellie was sitting on her bed, reading one of the books she had found in Jackson’s library. She looked up and smiled when she saw him, but her smile faded when she noticed the serious expression on his face.

“Joel, what’s wrong?” she asked, her brows furrowing with concern.

Joel closed the door behind him and sat down on the edge of the bed. He looked at Ellie, her young face full of life and determination, and it made his heart ache.

“Ellie, we need to talk,” he said softly, struggling to find the right words.

Ellie set her book aside and gave him her full attention. “What’s going on?”

Joel took a deep breath, his hands trembling slightly. “Ellie, I’ve been thinking a lot about our journey, about everything we’ve been through. And... about what comes next.”

Ellie shook her head, her voice rising with emotion. “Joel, no. We’re supposed to stick together. We’re a team.”

Joel looked down, unable to meet her eyes. “Ellie, I’m not sure I can keep doing this. The fear... it’s too much. I’m scared something’s going to happen to you, and I won’t be able to protect you.”

Ellie reached out, placing a hand on his arm. “We protect each other, Joel. That’s how we’ve always done it.”

Joel swallowed hard, his voice breaking. “I’m asking Tommy to take you to the fireflies. He’ll keep you safe until you arrive to the hospital.”

Ellie’s eyes filled with tears, and she shook her head fiercely. “No, Joel. I’m not going without you. We’ve come this far together, and I’m not leaving you.”

Joel’s heart ached at her words, but he forced himself to continue. “Ellie, you need to understand. I’m not... I’m not your father. I can’t be the one to keep you safe forever.”

The words hung heavy in the air, and Ellie’s tears began to fall. “You’re the closest thing I’ve ever had to a father, Joel. Don’t you get that? Fuck”

Joel’s own tears threatened to spill over, but he steeled himself. “But you’re not my daughter and I’m not your father.”

Ellie shook her head, her voice filled with desperation. “No, Joel. Please. Don’t do this. We need you.”

Joel reached out, cupping her face in his hands. “I need you to trust me, Ellie. This is the best way to keep you safe.”

Ellie pulled away from his touch, her face a mix of anger and heartbreak. “I don’t want to be safe if it means losing you. You and her are all I have, Joel.”

Joel stood up, his heart shattering at her words. “I’m sorry, Ellie. But this is how it has to be.”

He turned and walked toward the door, each step feeling like a lead weight. He paused at the doorway, looking back at Ellie one last time.

With that, he walked out of the room, closing the door softly behind him. He leaned against the wall, his heart breaking at the sound of Ellie’s muffled sobs. He knew this was one of the hardest decisions he had ever made, but he believed it was the right one.

As he stood there, trying to compose himself, he heard footsteps approaching. You appeared at the end of the hallway, having heard the conversation. Your eyes met his, and in that moment, he saw the same mix of anger, hurt, and confusion that Ellie had shown.

You approached Joel slowly, your face a mix of anger and hurt. He could see the questions in your eyes, the need for an explanation that would make sense of the pain he had caused.

"Joel," you said, your voice trembling. "What are you doing?"

Joel looked down, unable to meet your gaze. "I'm trying to keep you both safe. You and Ellie. This place, Jackson... it's where you can have a real life."

Your eyes narrowed, and you took a step closer. "And you think abandoning us is the way to do that? How could you even consider leaving us behind?"

Joel sighed, his shoulders slumping. "It's not abandoning you. It's making sure you're protected. If something happens to me—"

You cut him off, your voice rising with emotion. "Don't you get it, Joel? We need you. Ellie needs you. I need you. You're the reason we've made it this far. You can't just walk away."

Joel's eyes were filled with pain as he looked up at you. "I can't shake the fear that I'm going to die, that I won't be there when you need me most. I thought if I left, you'd be safer."

You stepped even closer, your anger giving way to desperation. "Safer? Joel, we've faced everything together. We protect each other. How can you think we'd be better off without you? How can you think I would be better off without you?""

Joel's voice was barely a whisper. "Because I can't bear the thought of losing you.”

Your heart ached at his words, but you knew you had to make him understand. You reached out, taking his hands in yours. "Joel, I love you. I need you with me, not just for protection, but because you're my love. Leaving me won't keep me safe; it'll break me."

Joel looked at you, tears welling in his eyes. "I don't know if I can do this. The fear is... it's too much."

You squeezed his hands, your voice gentle but firm. "We'll face it together, Joel. Just like we always have. You're not alone in this. Please, don't leave me."

Joel pulled you into a tight embrace, his tears finally spilling over. "I'm so scared," he admitted, his voice choked with emotion.

You held him close, your own tears falling. "I know, Joel. But we're stronger together. I need you. Ellie and I need you"

As you stood there, holding each other in the quiet of the hallway, Joel felt the weight of his fear begin to lift. The love and determination in your voice gave him the strength he needed to keep going. At least for a bit.

After a long moment, Joel pulled back slightly, looking into your eyes. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice filled with sincerity. "I was trying to do the right thing.”

You nodded; your heart full of relief. "We'll figure it out, Joel. Together."

Joel took a deep breath, cupping your face in his hands. “I love you so much,” he said, pecking your lips.

Your heart swelled with emotion as you returned his kiss, a soft, reassuring touch. “I love you too, Joel,” you whispered, your voice steady with conviction.

Joel rested his forehead against yours, closing his eyes as if trying to etch this moment into his memory. “I just don’t want to lose you or Ellie. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to either of you.”

You stroked his cheek, your thumb brushing away a stray tear. “We’re not going anywhere, Joel. We’ve made it through so much already, and we’ll keep making it through. Together.”

He nodded, pulling you into a tighter embrace, the warmth of his body a comforting reminder of his presence. “Together,” he repeated, his voice more confident now.

You pulled back slightly from the embrace, looking up into Joel’s eyes. "Come on," you said softly, taking his hand. "Let’s get cleaned up. It’s been a long day."

He nodded, allowing you to lead him down the hall to the bathroom. The room was small, but it had a functioning shower—one of the many luxuries you had come to appreciate in this place. You turned on the water, adjusting the temperature until it was just right.

Joel stood there, watching you with an exhaustion and adoration. He started to undress, his movements were slow You did the same, your eyes meeting his with every piece of clothing that fell to the floor. There was an unspoken understanding between you. Both of you bared int front of each other, stealing glances of your bodies in display.

Once you were both undressed, you stepped into the shower together. The warm water cascaded over your bodies, washing away the grime and tension of the day. You reached for the soap, lathering it between your hands before gently running them over Joel’s shoulders and back.

He sighed, leaning into your touch. "You don’t have to do this," he murmured.

"I want to," you replied, your voice tender. "Let me take care of you." You said, pressing a kiss on his wet shoulder.

You continued to wash him, your hands moving in soothing, circular motions. The warmth of the water and the intimacy of the moment began to ease the tension in his muscles. When you reached his hair, you took the shampoo and began to work it into a lather, your fingers massaging his scalp.

Joel closed his eyes, a soft groan escaping his lips. "That feels nice," he admitted.

You smiled, continuing to wash his hair with gentle care. "Good. You deserve to relax."

After rinsing the shampoo from his hair, you handed him the soap. "Your turn," you said with a playful smile.

He took the soap, his hands surprisingly gentle as he began to wash your shoulders and back. The feel of his strong, calloused hands against your skin was comforting, a reminder of how much you meant to each other. He took his time, his touch tender and affectionate, showing the love he felt for you.

When he reached your hair, he repeated the process, his fingers working the shampoo through your locks with the same care you had shown him. You closed your eyes, savoring the sensation of his hands in your hair and the warmth of the water cascading over you.

For a while, the two of you stood there, simply enjoying the closeness and the rare moment of peace. The world outside might be filled with danger and uncertainty, but here, in this small bathroom, there was only love.

When you were both clean, you turned off the water and reached for a towel, wrapping it around Joel’s shoulders before taking another for yourself. You helped each other dry off, the intimacy of the moment deepening the existent bond between you.

Joel looked at you, his eyes filled with gratitude and love. "Thank you," he said softly.

You cupped his face in your hands, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. "We’re in this together, Joel. Always."

He nodded, pulling you into a tight embrace. "Together," he echoed.

As you both stood there in the warmth of the bathroom, wrapped in towels and each other's embrace, the bond between you felt stronger than ever. The fear and uncertainty of the world outside seemed to fade away, leaving only the love and trust you had for each other.

Joel kissed the top of your head and took your hand, leading you back to the bedroom. The soft glow of the lamp illuminated the bedroom, casting a warm, golden hue over the room. You both moved slowly, savoring the peaceful moment.

You helped Joel into bed, making sure he was comfortable before slipping in beside him. He pulled you close, his arms wrapped protectively around you. The simple act of being in his arms felt like the safest place in the world.

Joel tilted his head slightly, his lips brushing against your forehead as he spoke. "I love you so much," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. "More than I can ever put into words."

You looked up at him, your heart swelling at the raw honesty in his eyes. "I love you too, Joel. So much."

He took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving yours. "I don't think I've ever felt this way before. I mean, caring this much for someone. Not since Sarah. And it's... it's scary. But it's also the most wonderful thing I’ve ever felt."

Your heart ached for him at the mention of Sarah, but you knew how important it was for Joel to express his feelings. You placed a gentle hand on his cheek, your thumb brushing against his stubble. "It's okay to be scared, Joel. But you're not alone in this. We’re in it together."

Joel nodded, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. "You've given me something I thought I’d lost forever. Hope. A reason to keep fighting. And I want you to know that I’ll do everything I can to protect you, to make sure we have a future together."

You leaned in, pressing a tender kiss to his lips. "We’ll protect each other. And we’ll build that future, one day at a time."

He wrapped his arms around you tighter, holding you close as if trying to memorize the feeling of having you in his arms. "I promise you, I'll never let anything happen to you. You and Ellie mean everything to me."

You snuggled closer, your head resting on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. "And you mean everything to us, Joel. We're stronger together."

Joel sighed contentedly, his fingers gently tracing patterns on your back. "Thank you for standing by me, for believing in me. I don't know what I’d do without you."

You smiled against his chest, feeling the warmth of his love envelop you. "You'll never have to find out, because I'm not going anywhere."

With that, you both drifted into a peaceful sleep, the worries of the world outside momentarily forgotten. In each other's arms, you found solace and strength, ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead together.

Hours later, Joel woke up in the middle of the night, the room shrouded in darkness. He instinctively reached out for you, but his hand found only empty space. Panic surged through him, his heart pounding as he sat up, his eyes scanning the room.

"Baby, where are you?" he muttered, throwing the blankets aside as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He quickly pulled on his pants and a shirt, his movements hurried and frantic. The fear of losing you, so deeply ingrained in his mind, took hold as he rushed out of the bedroom.

He moved swiftly down the hallway, his mind racing with worst-case scenarios. Had something happened? Had someone taken you? The thoughts were unbearable. He reached the top of the stairs and bolted down them, nearly stumbling in his haste.

When he reached the bottom, he paused, his eyes darting around the living room. Relief washed over him as he saw you sitting on the couch, a cup of tea cradled in your hands. You looked up, startled by his sudden appearance.

"Joel, what’s wrong?" you asked, concern etching your features.

He let out a shaky breath, his heart still racing. "I woke up and you weren’t there," he said, his voice hoarse with emotion. "I thought something had happened to you."

You set your tea down on the table and stood up, crossing the room to him. "I’m sorry," you said softly, reaching out to touch his arm. "I couldn’t sleep, so I came down to make some tea. I didn’t mean to scare you."

He pulled you into a tight embrace, his arms wrapping around you as if to reassure himself that you were really there. "It’s okay," he murmured into your hair. "I just...I can’t bear the thought of losing you."

You held him just as tightly, feeling the intensity of his emotions. "You won’t lose me, Joel. I promise."

He nodded, pulling back slightly to look into your eyes. "I know. It’s just...sometimes the fear gets the better of me."

You cupped his face in your hands, your thumbs brushing over his cheeks. "I understand," you said gently. "But we’re safe here. We have each other."

He sighed, the tension slowly easing from his body. "Yeah, we do."

"Come on," you said, taking his hand and leading him to the couch. "Sit with me for a while. The tea is still warm."

He followed you, sitting down beside you on the couch. You picked up your cup and handed it to him. "Here, takes a sip. It’ll help you relax."

He took the cup, his hands still slightly trembling. He sipped the tea, the warmth spreading through him, helping to calm his nerves. "Thanks," he said, his voice steadier.

You leaned against him, your head resting on his shoulder. "We’ll get through this, Joel. Together."

He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you closer. "Yeah, we will."

The two of you sat there in the quiet of the night, the warmth of the tea and the comfort of each other’s presence soothing the fears that had momentarily overwhelmed him. In that moment, Joel felt a renewed sense of peace, knowing that as long as you were by his side, he could face anything the future held.

As the minutes passed, the tension in Joel's body melted away. He looked down at you, your eyes closed, content and calm. He pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. "I love you," he whispered, the words carrying all the weight of his heart.

"I love you too," you replied softly, without opening your eyes.

Joel took another sip of the tea, its warmth soothing him from the inside out. The night was still and quiet, a rare tranquility enveloping your home. He gazed around the room, taking in the modest, yet comforting surroundings. This place, this sanctuary in Jackson, could become more than just a shelter. A home.

You snuggled closer to him, and Joel felt a profound sense of gratitude. For the first time in a long time, he allowed himself to truly believe in the possibility of a future filled with hope and love. The horrors of the past, the constant threats of the present, they all seemed a little more bearable with you by his side.

"We’ve been through so much," he said quietly, his fingers gently stroking your hair. "But sitting here with you, it makes it all worth it."

You opened your eyes and looked up at him, a soft smile playing on your lips. "We’ve found something real, Joel. Something worth fighting for. And no matter what comes our way, we’ll face it together."

Joel nodded, feeling the truth of your words settle deep within him. "Together," he echoed, his voice filled with conviction. "Always."

The two of you sat there in the stillness, the warmth of each other's presence a balm for your souls. Joel felt a sense of peace he hadn't known in years. With you, he had found a reason to hope, to believe in a better tomorrow.

As the night wore on, the exhaustion of the day began to catch up with him. You noticed his eyelids growing heavy and gently took the cup from his hands, setting it on the table. "Come on," you whispered, standing up and offering your hand. "Let’s get some rest."

Joel took your hand and allowed you to lead him back to the bedroom. The room was still bathed in the soft glow of the lamp, casting a warm light over the bed. You both slipped under the covers, and Joel pulled you close, your bodies fitting together perfectly.

With you in his arms, the fear and anxiety that had plagued him earlier faded away. The rhythm of your breathing, the steady beat of your heart against his chest, all served as a reminder of the love and strength you shared.

"Goodnight, Joel," you murmured, your voice filled with tenderness. "Goodnight," he replied, pressing a final kiss to your forehead.

As he closed his eyes, Joel felt a deep sense of contentment. No matter what the future held, he knew that with you by his side, he could face it all. Together, you had built something beautiful amidst the chaos, and that was something worth holding on to.

In the quiet darkness, with you in his arms, Joel finally allowed himself to drift into a peaceful sleep, dreaming of the life you would continue to build together, one filled with love, hope, and endless possibilities.

[brodieland]

.˚ 𓈒 ࣪.★ It might be Pizza Time..☽

Megumi Fushiguro x Fem!Reader

➳Synopsis: recovering with pizza and Megumi after the sister school exchange event!! ➳Tag(s): banter, suicide joke nothing crazy, some swearing, blood and injures but not super descriptive ➳Word Count: 1518 ➳A/N: ayo new layout???? oh yeah new fandom too ig.. anyways idk how I feel bout this, but its been forever since ive written so just tryna get back into it. soooo here's this.. I suppose!

"Megumi," you stated, very seriously while glaring daggers at him. "Did you actually try and summon Mahoraga on Todo??"

He just turned to you and rolled his eyes. "Oh my god I wasn't actually going to, mind your business or something."

"Sorry just curious on if its time for a therapist," you taunted.

"Do you find pleasure in getting on my nerves or something? Because I'm really debating on-"

"On what? What're you gonna do? Try and kill me," you joked before holding up your fists, one above the other. "Maybe try and summon your best friend mahoraga?"

"I don't try and-"

"You literally shouted 'with the treasure I summon,'" you made sure to use your high pitched nerd voice when mocking Megumi, "when we bumped shoulders not to long ago."

"That was like forever ago."

"That was this morning, but okay."

"You were literally bothering me? Like you are now? Just know I will take me down to take you down, I really do not care," he shrugged like it was sooo obvious.

"Does this count as you having an 'unshakeable character' or something? Because that just sounds plain suicidal in my books."

He rolled his eyes, "In your books? Wow, didn't know you could read."

You sent a death glare in his direction while you can just see the smugness in his eyes, and with that, Maki appeared behind you. "What're you guys still doing here?"

"What're you talking about," you asked.

"You're late, the Kyoto students are almost here for the exchange event. Don't tell me you forgot or something?"

You paused, "or something."

She just rolled her eyes and dragged you along. "If I have to see my sister so do you," she quickly turned back to Megumi, "I hope you're planning to stand up and join us."

He reluctantly stood up from the steps he was sitting at and trudged behind the two of you. As much as he hates to admit it (he would never admit this by the way), he likes your banter, the going back and forth. You may annoy him and get under his skin from time to time, but it's something he looks forward to when talking to you. Not that he looks forward to talking to you of course, that'd be weird.

Anyways. The three of you saw the rest of your classmates standing and waiting, but instead of seeing the Kyoto students, you saw Nobara bouncing over to the rest of you with a plethora of luggage trailing behind her. Sadly she thought we were going to Kyoto and proceeded to yell at the second years for winning the previous games, and being the reason the games are being held in Japan instead. Finally the Kyoto school was here, and whilst everyone was greeting each other and whatnot, you held back with Megumi. He was just antisocial, you've known that since you met back in primary school, but you just wanted to get this over with. Fighting with people instead of curses wasn't really your thing, unless it was friendly training of course.

You nudged Megumi's side, "oh my god, look, it's your best friend," you're pointed towards Todo. He just side-eyed you, making you chuckle, (he chuckled too by the way, but if you asked if he thought that was funny, he would've said no). But the craziest part? Yuuji Itadori popping up from the dead. You were shocked, but Megumi and Nobara didn't seem to jump with joy, Itadori's reaction to that was pretty funny.

"You guys?" Itadori mumbled out. "I'm not dead.. why don't you look happy," he nervously smiled.

"We thought you were dead for like a month," Nobara's brow was twitching.

Megumi looked like he was gonna punch the pink haired boy in front of him. "Finally, I get to meet Sukuna's vessel," you smiled.

The raven haired boy turned his violent glare to you, knowing what you were implying (you were implying to have someone new to annoy him, if that wasn't clear). He was already fed up with you and Nobara, but that's not really your problem.

The group battles went as expected. Wait that's a lie, they were interrupted by a bunch of cursed spirits and users. You ended up fighting beside Megumi, and eventually, Maki. You three were fighting against a special grade who went by the name Hinami. As strong as the three of you were, the curse was, well, beating your ass. Your weapons were barely shattering its armor and your energy was running on low. You were bumped and scratched all over, surely needing some stitches on your leg. That wasn't the worst of it though.

"Where the hell are the others, aren't they watching over us," you grunted out.

"It's probably the stupid veil," Megumi responded. "Shit!"

You quickly spun your head towards the boys painful sounds, and your eyes widened. Roots were growing out of his stomach as blood poured from his mouth. You and Maki both shouted in shock while you ran toward him. Though you were quickly stopped at the branch impaling both yours and Maki's shoulders together, quickly pulling you close and holding you up.

The freakish spirit started go on about god knows what, but you weren't listening. Both the pain in your leg and shoulder were stacking and you could barely think about what was happening, you were just worried about what just happened to Megumi. You took deep breaths and looked over to the raven haired boy just a mere few feet away. You saw his hands starting to pull on the roots.

"NO, Megumi don't even think about it," you shouted, startling both Megumi and Maki. "If you rip a hole in your stomach I will kill you myself."

He didn't respond, his breathing just got heavier as he stabled himself with the ground below him. "Our fights over," Maki said, and before you could question her, down came from the sky Itadori and Todo. Todo ended up grabbing the three of you and taking you somewhere safe before heading back to the fight. You don't know much of what happened after this, but you remember sitting somewhere up against a tree in front of the buildings leaning next to Megumi whilst Maki laid at your feet.

"Knew your best friend would save us," you breathed out. You could've sworn you saw a smile tugging on the boys lips before your eyelids became heavy. Last thing you remember was holding his arm and passing out on his shoulder.

You weren't asleep for long. When you woke up, Ieiri was patching up your leg. "Ieiri," you mumbled.

"Your leg was pretty banged up, but you'll be fine," she said as she put out her cigarette.

"Is um, Megumi, is he okay," you recalled the roots that almost ripped open his stomach.

"Fushiguro? Yeah he's fine, but his stomach might take some extra time to heal." You nodded as she finished with your leg. She told you that you'd be fine to walk around but not to overdo it. You thanked her and left to grab some food.

When the two of you were younger, you sprained your wrist after falling off your bike, and to make you feel better, Megumi gave you his pizza at lunch. As you got older, this ended up becoming a little tradition between the two of you. And now that the two of you were older, you can buy a whole pizza to split instead of sacrificing a measly slice. You waited about half an hour for your delivery to get here and make your way to Megumi's room.

"Megs," you knocked at the door. That wasn't his favorite nickname, but he never said anything to you about it. You opened the door and saw him laying in bed and turn his head to you. "Pizza time?"

Megumi sat up against the head board while you shut the door behind you, sitting next to him and placing the pizza on top of the both of your thighs. "I know pizzas what we always get, but I did almost rip open my stomach," he said as he took another bite from his slice.

"Keyword, almost," you smiled. "You okay?"

"Well... I'm not dead," you rolled your eyes. "I'm okay, alright?"

"Alright." It was silent for a while. "Surprised you didn't try summoning-"

"Don't ruin the moment," you playfully shoved his side, this time you were sure you saw him softly smiling.

"You know I'm funny, you can admit it."

"You're not unfunny."

"Fine," you rested your head on his shoulder and continued eat your pizza. "I'll take that, I guess."

You guys kept eating when Itadori burst through the door, Nobara strutting in behind him. "Pizza timeee!!!"

"You're a little late," you chuckled. "Wait. what toppings do you have?"

"Supreme..?"

"You're actually just in time!" For reference you couldn't afford supreme, so you got pepperoni. And thank you to the duo whom just burst through the door, for they did not question you in Megumi's bed. You were just eating pizza anyways!!

[oflorelei]

My Problem is:

That it's a let down. Listen I am not mad or horrible dissapointed over that Radahn is there (although sigh i wished we would have gotten that Age of Abundance/Compassion man). I am not mad that he is apparently a puppets and that miquella is apparently the villain from the shadows. I'm mad that they hyped this DLC up so hard, using Miquella's character, which they know to be shrouded in mystery and HYPE, made it appear that we may have the chance to join him/get betrayed by him, made people belief he SPECIFALLY seeks out the tarnished or multiple tarnished at once (to help him?)- that he is the central figure of this DLC when he is not. And thats not an underestimation.

Miquella, most fearsome of the Empyreans, the 'father' of the Halligtree, beloved by near all, who "[...]wields love to shrive clean the hearts of men. (There is nothing more terrifying.)" - does not even have his own bossfight.

No, he is basically just a cape for a boss we already fought to a DLC that costs 40€. He is in the promotion arc, he is said to be a central figure, he is said to be the fearsome empyrean of all. One thing he isnt? Apparently worth the time of day.

I am ok with Miquella being turned into a villain, I am not ok with Miquella being turned into a joke.

There were so so many roads they could have taken with him, he was PROMISING in every regard.

Want to make him a Villain? Fine the reason can be:

=> Manipulation/Enchanting for people to love him (to ensure someone will always look out for him)

-not absolutely evil per say- and it makes sense that someone who is stuck in the body of a child might want to count on many people rather then one person to protect them = it is his weapon to wield affection

- still takes away free will, even consent to some degree

=> Formless mothers influence

- do i even need to explain this one lmao

- already thousands of theories before this DLC thought that miquella might have been negatively influenced by her- especially when so many things in this Game revolve around blood and the power of it

=> "for the greater good" ahh ending

- 'the means justify the end' mentality (maybe even allign with the manipulation and enchanting)

-would be a similar situation to ranni and could mirror it- not the best but also not horrible

=> St. Trina is Miquella's Radagon

- Miquella splitting slowly with the golden order & turning his back to the easier path & planning behind the shadows to change how Things have been? Yeah maybe St. Trina could have been to Miquella what Radagon was to Marika (a guard dog, keeping her checked (sry but i genuinely believe Radagon returned bc Marika started to stray)).

-could also have explored how marika had to deal with it & her relationship to her other self => player could maybe decide who they wished to serve

=> the curse drives mad

- being stuck in the body of a child when you are a grown adult mentally is pure eldritch horror imo, it is not only physically but chances are high it could cause deeper psychological issues

- when grief drove marika mad it can drive miquella mad to that despite everything he does, being so prodigal, does not help and helplessness of it all too

- bc no one can help and no one can understand him

- he is stuck in a body that is his, and yet its the body of a past him, something he should have outgrown, something that belongs to the past- and (IMO) he can not fight truly in his body, not even to defend himself- having to constantly rely on people for your protection when you are an incredible independent creature? Horrible

- while not the most climatic- would it be truly unthinkable that miquella maybe just..gave up? That it drove him mad with grief to realize he spends his life searching for a cure that might not even exist?

- again thats more then a 'what if' then realistic like the rest of the list but i just love the horror adult mind child body

Want to make him a good guy? Fine the reason can be:

=> He is described so. He knew that he would be the next god & took responsibility.

- Miquella created the Haligtree, feed by his OWN blood (which takes far longer and more energy then just using bodies) or all that are rejected by the golden order, he is compassionate & kind. He is protective and by gods above he does want to help, he does break away from the golden order when he realizes they are not what they seem

-With ranni not wanting to become the successor and Malenia cursed with the rot it only leaves Miquella open, he would have been aware of it

- He is already a 'big' brother, caring for malenia, caring for all who were considered Misfits such as the Albinauric & Misbegotten, providing a sanctuary and hope

- Miquella is described as kind, as compassionate someone who basically does wish to bring a change and is ready to self sacrifice for the better

There are many more but guys im so so tired and need to nap. In short: its incredible to me how you can make a Character that had potential for all possible sides (good, evil, inbetween) so bland, his arc and journey feel like white toastbread, his relationship to his beloved sister malenia seems fake, he doesnt appear to be an adult trapped in a body of a child but as simply put an idiot who is all about "me me me me" & then doesnt even get a bossfight.

Im not mad it was written, i am made there was zero thought or reasoning put behind it, when there were so so many options to make it good. Its sorta fascinating that somehow no one likes this ending, not the Radahn Fans, Nor the Miquella or Malenia Fans..idk man. Having feelings about this.

Also im really bummed we didnt get a cutscene were the tarnished touches Miquella's arm to travel like- man.

Also sorry for the grammar/spelling or maybe even logic errors i just needed to vent ngl

[the-californicationist]

Hi hi! Love your blog! For the Gift of GIF ask game:

Thank you so much for the GIF ask!! So glad y'all like this ask game. Sorry about the delay. Hope this is something you like!

TW: DaddyDom language, female genitals, sex toys, safe and explicit consent, come play

Shore Leave

Your husband, Alex Keller, finally makes good use of his time off and takes you on your dream vacation. Little do you know that he has darker motives…

The view from your poolside suite was breathtaking in all of the best ways. An endlessly-reflected infinity pool bled right into the deep cerulean Pacific Ocean, making it seem like you could swim forever and ever and never stop. The sky was a mirror of the water, cloudless and pure. Although the sun was out, you were comfortable, and the breeze made you feel like you were always in a limbo between being awake and trapped within a lucid dream. 

Even more enthralling was the way your husband’s body felt beneath yours. He was shirtless, clad only in a light pair of linen pants, and his warm body was curled around you protectively like a covetous hound. You’d never felt so safe. 

However, you were also made to feel other things as well. 

It had all started very innocently. He’d woken you up with poached eggs and freshly squeezed juice, running a warm bath and rubbing you down with lotion and oil before you stepped outside. Then, he’d gifted you with a brand new thong bikini, his eyes hungry as you tried it on. You thought you’d be following him down to the beach, eager to splash in the waves and show off your new fit, but he pulled you onto the pool deck instead. 

He’d kissed you softly, teasingly. It was so different than his usual rabid fervor. You loved the way your husband could barely keep your clothes on when you were alone. You’d missed your dinner reservations more than once. But, you reasoned with yourself, he was always on deployment. Of course he was a little excited. 

Now, though, that excitement had given way to mischief. As you had sat by the pool, kissing and holding hands, innocently watching the ships float by, you’d been lulled into a false sense of security. 

And so, here you lay, your pussy stuffed with an automated vibrator, your poor unused asshole filled with an enormous plug, whimpering and begging for relief. Every time you would get close, writhing your body against his, trying to entice him with your hands and your long, smooth legs, he ignored you. He could control the vibe from his phone, and you never knew which way he was going to go. Sometimes, he would switch it off, watching you desperately humping his leg like a feral dog, swollen and perched on the edge of an orgasm. 

His dark chuckle made your blood run cold,

“Does my good girl need something?”

Alex peered down into your face, his eyes hidden behind his sunglasses, smug and thoroughly enjoying himself. 

“Oops,” he adjusted your thong again, jiggling the plug as he did so, “Keep these nice and high for me, baby. Need to be able to admire this plump ass of yours. Mmm. What a view.” 

A hard, aching squeeze of his huge hand on your ass cheek made you see white, the sensation of all of his toys inside of you making even the smallest affection feel like wildfire. 

“Please, Daddy, I’ll be a good girl. Please, may I come… please?” You tried to beg. You’d tried before. Nothing was helping. You could feel the slip and slide of your slick between the meat of your inner thighs. 

“Not yet. Trust me, honey. I know what’s best for you, don’t I?”

You didn’t say a word, but you watched wide-eyed as he pulled another velveteen drawstring bag from his case. When he opened up the box, you could tell he’d already inspected and cleaned it. All of its wrapping was gone, and the straps were already in place. 

It was a familiar piece. He’d used gags with you before, and nothing brought you more pleasure than allowing his hands and mouth and cock to bring you to your peak over and over again while you mindlessly allowed your shining drool to melt down your neck and onto your tits. When he removed it and allowed you to swallow him, replacing the silicone ball with his warm, softening cock, already emptied of its seed — you’d never come so hard in your life. 

But this was no ball. This was a fat, silicone cock gag. 

“Daddy, please. I’ll be quiet. I promise. Please… No, I’m —” 

“Hey, show me your left hand,” he became very serious. 

In your hand, you held a loud alarm button, your finger over the trigger, ready to press it at any time. When he saw it, checking in with you that you were still in your safe zone, he smiled.

“That’s perfect, baby. Such a good little slut for me. How did I get so lucky?” He kissed your cheek, shining with old and new tears, streaking down your face from overstimulation, and he planted chaste kisses on your quivering lip. You let yourself lean towards his affection, seeking more of his comfort, only to be firmly held back in place with his hand as he wrapped around your cheek.

“Shh, shh. Daddy just wants you to feel so good, baby. Now, open up.”

You stared at him with huge, gleaming doe eyes, tears threatening to run out of the corners of them again. 

When you didn’t immediately comply, he grabbed the nape of your scalp and yanked your head back, not hurting you, but getting your attention. 

“Am I gonna have to bruise that fine fuckin’ ass, huh? Make you walk down the fuckin’ beach with my palm prints all over you?”

“No, Daddy. I’ll be good. I’ll be good,” you gasped when the vibrator started up again as he flipped a switch. The shock made you clench down around it, which jostled the heavy plug, all in a series of mind-numbing chain reactions designed to edge you within an inch of your sanity. 

“I know you will be. Now… open… that… mouth.”

Alex pressed the tip of the gag to your lips and you opened up for him, sucking it into your lips just like his cock. He pushed it all the way in and it almost landed in the back of your throat. Any further and you wouldn’t be able to breathe. It was a perfect fit. 

Then, slowly, almost painfully so, he pulled it back out, staring into your eyes and seeing what you needed. 

“Go on, baby. I know you wanna suck it for me. Show me.”

You wrapped your lips around it again, and as he held it in place, you bobbed your head up and down, your tongue lapping at the head of his toy. You made sure to look straight into his eyes as you used your mouth on it, letting your spit coat the silicone and drip onto his fist. 

He removed his hand from your head and pet your hair gently, smoothing it away from your face.

“My poor, hungry little whore. Let’s fill you up, hm?”

Your protests became warped into a garbled whine as Alex pressed the toy all the way into your mouth, making sure it was flush and, before you knew it, you were being latched into the gag. The cock you were sucking was now perched at the farthest edge of your tongue, the soft head pressing into your palate, threatening to choke you. 

Alex bent his neck to kiss your mouth as your lips stretched around the toy, smiling as he turned his attention back to his phone. He turned the vibrator down to a medium rumble and removed himself from your cuddling position to stand near the edge of the pool chair. 

“C’mere, baby. Lemme show you somethin’,” your adoring husband held out his hand and you struggled to stand with him, stumbling on shaking legs. 

He walked you over to the tall dividing wall between your suite and the popular beach, each step making the toys thrust up inside of you as you swayed your hips. Your weakness and the unevenness of the ground made your footing jerky and chaotic, adding to the creamy, lurid jostling happening inside of you. The pressure from the anal plug was so satisfying, and your vibrator teased your most sensitive spot, deep within you, just like a curling finger. Without your thong, you know your vibrator would have slipped out of you on your journey. You had never been so wet, and the way the toy was wriggling inside of your hole was making you dizzy. 

Finally, you made it to the wall and used it to support yourself, squeezing your thighs together, desperate for some relief. Alex pointed down to the beach, showing you the little umbrellas and towels full of soldiers on shore leave, all oblivious to your torture.

“Put your hands on the wall, spread your legs apart, and don’t move them until I tell you to. Hold up a two if you understand me.”

You held up a two with your hand and then placed both of your palms on the wall, gripping it for dear life, feeling the long thread of your tangled orgasm beginning to unravel. Alex nudged your legs even wider, changing the angle of the toys within your body. The vibe buzzed away deep within you, faithfully held in place by your tight thong. 

Then, you felt the familiar loosening of your bathing suit top as Alex yanked out the bow you had tied, letting the small fabric flutter away, revealing your breasts to the soft breeze. If any of the partying soldiers got too curious and decided to study you from below, they’d surely be able to see your dark nipples as they tightened on your tits, unbelievably sensitive in your current predicament. 

You whined, and Alex shushed you, 

“Shh, baby. I know. What if they see? That’s why you need to be nice and quiet for Daddy, hm? Wouldn’t want to attract any visitors, now would we? Now…” He grabbed your hips, his thumbs digging into the v-shaped strap of your thong, “Suck that cock for me while Daddy plays with his toys.”

You tried to focus on his instructions, but you couldn’t bear the anticipation. What was he about to do to you? You let your eyes wander back towards him, trying to prepare for whatever came next.

A rough hand came around to grab you by the jaw,

“What did I say? Show me how you swallow that dick, honey, or I’ll make you scream so they can all watch you do it.”

You nodded as best you could, trying to show him you could be a good girl for him, and you experimented a little, swallowing in an exaggerated rhythm, feeling the gag sliding back and forth through your mouth as your throat moved. It made you drool a bit, the spit pooling at the ring of your stretched lips, running down your chin. 

“That’s it,” Alex praised you, rubbing his clothed cock against your ass from behind, “That’s what I wanna hear. Keep sucking, just like that.”

So, you did. As you swallowed and suckled on the solid shape, it began to feel more and more like the real thing. The ridges of the head, the pronounced veins of the body; it was all contributing to the absolute mindrot you were already experiencing. You let the cock fuck your mouth, using the tension of your tongue to mimic the feeling, allowing your thoughts to dissipate in favor of the sparkling blissed your husband had promised you. 

Alex kept his crotch jammed against the cleft of your ass, forcing you to feel his hard shaft as it rolled against you, reaching around your body to softly pluck at your nipples. 

At the first touch of his fingertips, you gasped, sucking in air through your nose, nearly losing your footing. His hands mirrored each other, rubbing feather-light circles around your pebbled skin, petting your heavy breasts with the palms of his hands. He was fire and ice, at one point squeezing your flesh cruelly and pinching you hard enough to make you cry out through the muffle of the gag, and then sweet as could be, stroking and petting you like a scared bunny. 

You weren’t sure of the concept of time. It could have been only seconds that he played with you like this, or perhaps an hour had gone by. You just knew that your lover wanted to hear your hungry suckling sounds and to touch your swaying breasts. Nothing else mattered. Nothing else existed. 

Then, he pulled the other string at your back, letting your top fall to the ground. 

You missed his touch immediately, turning your head to look back at him, questioning his choices. It was the wrong move. You knew he would take care of you, but your fervor made you selfish and doubtful. 

You faced the ocean again, watching the soldiers as you swallowed against the dick in your mouth, ignoring the obvious lines of spit hanging from your mouth. Alex came around to the wall and perched himself against it. After watching you for a few moments, he took his hand and wiped your mouth, smearing your own spit all over your tits, wetting your nipples so that the cool air could tease them. 

Then, right in front of you, he unbuttoned his fly and took his cock from his pants. He began to stroke it in a languid, lazy pattern, slathering his precome over his immense head and down his shaft. Surprisingly, the cock gag made you hungrier for the real thing, and you eyed him like a prize. 

“I want to make sure you’re really enjoying this vacation, baby. I planned it all for you. Are you having fun?”

You nodded enthusiastically, knowing he was leading up to something threatening. You loved him like this. And he loved you when you were fully under his command. Under his care. All for him. His plaything. 

“I’m about to look and see how much fun you’re having…” He let his fat cock hang and walked around to your rear, “Are you ready for me to see the pretty little mess you made, darlin’?”

You nodded again, steeling yourself for what was coming. 

He placed his hand at the very middle of your thong and pulled up on it instead of down, cramming the toys inside of you deeper than they had been, making you writhe and whine, losing control of your legs, feeling them trembling, barely able to hold you up. 

He let go. You breathed as deeply as you could, feeling like the cock in your mouth was growing down your throat, wishing you could scream in earnest. 

Then, he rolled down your bottoms until your spread thighs stopped them, your ass and pussy now on full display.

He hummed with pleasure, and you heard his pants fall to the ground, rustling in the grass and pooling around your husband’s ankles. 

Suddenly, fingers began to tug at the plug in your ass, pulling it in an undulating pattern against your muscular ring, making you feel like you were being fucked by a thick cock. Then, he applied even pressure, and removed it, letting your hole clench around nothing for a moment before teasing you with the rounded tip. Alex let it fuck you shallowly for a while, pressing it forward only a few inches at a time, barely applying any pressure at all. Until he put it back in. He stretched you again, and you realized that since you’d become all too comfortable at the thin, flat base, and you hadn’t had a chance to get accustomed to the insane girth; it was as if you were starting from scratch. 

You rolled your hips, trying to ease the pressure, and he rolled the toy with you, playing with you like a lion plays with its food, batting you around, helpless to his power. 

The vibrator was flailing inside of your pussy at top speed, pulsing and rumbling loud enough for you to hear the mechanical whir. And every time he pushed the plug back inside of you, the tone of it would change. Your body was making music for him, and you couldn’t help it one bit. 

“Beautiful…” You could hear the smile on his lips. 

Everything stopped for a moment, but you thought you heard a soft slicking sound, the noise of him jacking off. Then, you felt his fleshy head push its way into your pussy, already filled by the deep vibe. 

You turned around, worried, unable to protest with the cock still deep in your mouth, pinning down your tongue. 

His sunglasses were off, and he was focused on your hole, using your sticky come to coat himself, thrusting shallowly inside of you right beside the vibrator. 

He wasn’t going to fit. You’d never felt so full before. You were already so primed, the audacious lewdness of it all sent you over the edge. You crashed into your orgasm like a runaway train, slamming full force into a wall of sensations. Your skin flushed hot all at once, like an instant fever, and you felt your holes clutch desperately onto anything they could find, squeezing and pulsing and swelling against him. 

You lost your strength to stand, but he held you, carrying your weight like it was nothing. And he kept pushing forward, easing his cock right beside the toy, holding it steady inside of you. 

“There she is. You’re doing so well for me, baby. Daddy’s perfect little hole.” 

Once he was fully sheathed within you, you both sighed raggedly, melting into the feeling like molten glass in a kiln. Below you, the soldiers laughed, running through the shallow water, having the time of their lives. 

Alex began to fuck you with very little heed for your well-being. You had your button, you could press it at any time, and out of all of his fun toy box prizes, you’d not once felt like anything had been beyond your abilities. But, now, as his cock made room for itself in your tight walls, you wondered if you could take it. 

You understood size queens, the girls who insisted on girthy, long phalluses and who refused to settle for less. You knew why they insisted, now. Your g-spot was lit up like a beacon. There was no waiting to feel his cockhead rub lightly against it. No, it was on and it stayed on because of the terrible girth of both the toy and his dick. You were coming not in waves, but in some sort of constant stream. There was no start and stop to your orgasms; you were given no let down on their end nor warning on their beginning. You were just kept in a hot, milky, perpetual state of bliss that made your eyes roll back into your head. 

The plug in your ass began to come out of you as you came. He was pulling against it, prying it from you until it popped free. You knew you were gaping open for him because when he explored the empty hole with his fingers, you could tell how pliant and soft your body was now that it had been so deeply filled. 

“My good girl. Taking everything her Daddy gives her today.”

Alex praised you, but you didn’t respond. Your mind was a blank slate. All you could do was tumble further down the winding path of your own pleasure. 

You felt him pull himself free from the grip of your pussy, gasping from the relief. He slipped the vibrator out of you, too, switching it off and discarding it somewhere. Then, you were empty. So empty that it felt like grief. And you cried out for his help as much as you could around the gag. 

“C’mere, honey. On your knees for Daddy.”

You fell to the ground limply, turning toward him for guidance, for any sort of reprieve. 

He looked down at you with so much love and admiration, bending to kiss your forehead and removing your gag. 

“So good. Such an obedient slut. I’m so proud of you, honey.”

“But, Daddy, you didn’t come, yet.” You pawed at his hips, rubbing his belly and reaching for his chest, stretching yourself to try and give yourself back to him.

“Today’s not about me, baby,” he smiled sweetly at you, but you weren’t having it. 

His cock was pink and flagging, practically dripping with precome, ready to burst. You reached for it, feeding it into your sore mouth, sucking it down like you’d been practicing on the gag. It was too big, but you pushed through it, swallowing and swallowing until you couldn’t breathe, hollowing out your cheeks to make your mouth into a warm wet sleeve for him. 

“Baby… oh, shit. Ungh! Holy hell.”

Without any further hesitation, he began to fuck your throat, shoving himself deeper and deeper, controlling your head and moving himself within you like a piston. You let yourself go limp again, allowing the pornographic slurping sounds of your rough-fucked mouth to be as loud and as messy as he wanted them to, abandoning your shame. You rubbed yourself with your hand, shoving your fingers into your soaked pussy, and playing with your clit, already sensitive enough to come again. 

He had trained you so well. This was your moment to shine. 

You came with him, looking up into the twisted agony on his face as he filled your belly with his load, trying to pull away to let you breathe, leaving a trail of thick spend all along your tongue and cheeks, your mouth full of him by the time he slid away from you. 

You made sure he was looking down at you when you spit him into your hands, letting his milk pool in your palms, rubbing him all over your puffy nipples and down between your swollen petals, pushing him into your pussy with your fingers only to return to your breasts to smear him around like a salve. As he watched you in excitement and a wild disbelief, his gaze darkened, and he wrapped his hand around your throat, bending down so that you could hear the rough growl in the timbre of his voice,

“Oh, baby. You just bought yourself round two.”

AO3 Link

Also, @glitterypirateduck - are we still in vacation mode?? 😅🩷

[bluesaie]

the missing piece ◞◟　℘

“how much more, baby? the bed feels cold without you.“

bada lifts her head from the piles of documents under her pen to be met with a true sight to behold. her pretty baby wrapped in a soft, grey blanket, peeking her head though the door of bada’s office.

small, almost shy smile is visible on your lips — as if you were actually ashamed of being that impatient.

you’re right, though— the hour is already later than bada had thought.

she takes her reading glasses off her nose, observing how you entered her office with light steps. your feet, clothed in a pair of warm socks, bounce quietly off the wooden flooring as you approached the desk. there's bare, milky skin of your legs visible behind the blanket, so, as bada assumes, you once again decided to sleep in one of her own tshirts.

“they smell like you,” you would reason. and bada has absolutely nothing against it; her pretty little baby looks even more little drowning in her large clothes.

“im sorry, darling,” bada speaks out with w quiet, warm voice. she feels herself smiling automatically

while looking at you. “i totally lost the track of time.”

you circled the desk, and finally appeared in front of bada, just close enough to be touched. you still have her blanket all over, but it doesn't stop bada from reaching underneath to softly stroke your naked thigh with her fingers.

you shiver, and smiles lightly, looking almost kitten-like with such a relaxed expression.

“you should come with me,” you purred, tilting your head a bit to the right. “its getting late. and im getting needy.”

bada insitictively lets her baby rest between her legs, sitting at the edge of the desk and effectively preventing her from coming back to the paperwork.

“i would've expected,” she hums, smiling teasingly. her free hand touches your warm cheek, making you blush softly.

“my kitten can never wait for too long, right?”

“you can't blame me,” your pink lips form a delicate pout, instantly urging bada to kiss it away.

she moves her fingers down, reaching the edge of the blanket on your shoulder. deliberately, she sweeps it aside

a little bit to reveal some more skin.

it turns out that you have gone for one of your dress shirts today. having moved away the blanket's material, bada can admire how amazing the white silk looks against your skin. a few first buttons are undone, which gives a perfect view of your pretty cleavage. your tits aren't very big, but in this position they're squished and plump, absolutely delectable for bada, who can't fight the desire to feel them up in her hands.

locking their eyes, bada slowly undoes three more buttons. you visibly shiver under her fingertips, but you dont stop her.

“always so pretty for me,” bada unconsciously bites her lip when two pink stiff nipples come into her view. her hands immediately squeeze both breasts, earning a lovely little whimper from you.

“bada—” you murmur, inhaling sharply. your eyes seem to get glassy in a couple of seconds.

“yes, love?”

bada enjoys teasing you too much not to do so. it's just so adorable, seeing you that vulnerable only for her.

you lick your lips, making them glossy and wet.

“i've missed you so much,” you confessed with a soft, breathy tone. bada’s smile only widens, her thumbs lazily rubbing your pretty nipples.

“i have too, baby,” she answers, her eyes never leaving yours. “should i finally reward you for waiting so long?”

it seems like the your irises lighten up at the words. the way you immediately clenched your thighs together doesn't escape bada’s notice.

“please,” you begged softly, wrapping your own fingers around bada’s wrists, only to press her hands tighter to your breasts.

“please, i've been such a good girl..”

bada laughs tenderly. you indeed was.

not wasting any more time, she gets up from her swivel chair and in a split second leans in to kiss you on the mouth. hard and deep, with intention to leave you wet and breathless. one of her hands stays on your tits, meanwhile the other slips down to cup you though the flimsy material of the shirt. she knows that you’re pantless, yet doesn't reach your pussy directly. again, just to make you a little more excited.

it works just fine, cause in a few moments she has a panting mess pathetically grinding onto her clothed thigh.

what an impatient little kitty, she thinks, smiling into your kiss. you mewl softly around her tongue, you own fingers wrapping around bada’s nape to hold her closer.

the woman deftly manages to lift your body off the desk, the blanket long forgotten on the floor as

you wrapped your bare thighs around bada’s torso. you don't break the kiss, not until both of you reach the bed in your bedroom — a mess in the office and the door sloppily kicked open totally irrelevant.

you look just like a naughty angel, sprawled on the sheets

under her, hair all messy and cheeks flushed, lips red and swollen from the kiss.

“im gonna ruin you, love. just like you deserve.”

this is a little reward for u guys♡>< .

[skzimagines]

Jealousy

“Who is she?” I say sternly. “Who is who?” He asks. “The girl you were making oggly eyes over at the party all night.” I throw my bag onto the counter as we make our way inside our shared apartment, just coming home from one of the parties Chan decided to throw. “What the hell are you talking about?” He asks, taking his jacket off, throwing it over the back of one of the bar stools. “Oh don’t act like you weren’t.” I make my way into our shared bedroom, sliding off the dress I wore tonight and throwing it into the hamper. Leaving me in nothing but my red lace panties. Minho follows behind. “You’re crazy to think I’d be starring at anyone other than you.” He states. “I saw you starring at her Minho, I’m not stupid.” I sit down at my vanity and start to take my makeup off. Minho stands behind me, arms crossed over his chest. “Well what about you and wooyoung?” He asks, venom stinging through his voice. “What about wooyoung?” My voice raises a bit higher this time, getting pissed at the fact he’s trying to change he subject now. “You two were all over each other when we got there!” Now he’s raising his voice. “All over each other? Minho, we hugged! It was a simple hug! And a quick hello! You on the other hand had no issue sitting right in front of me eye fucking another girl!” I yell. My face turning red from lack of oxygen. “He likes you y/n and you know it! You just refuse to fucking see it!” He yells back. “I don’t care if he does because I only have eyes for you! But apparently you have your eyes on me and someone else!” I stand up and make my way to our shared closet, grabbing a hoodie and sliding it over my head, then proceed to grab a pair of shorts and put them on as well. "I'm leaving." I state. "And where might you be going y/n? It's 2am." "I don't know, maybe I'll go to Wooyoung's." I say, I don't mean it though. It's within the heat of the moment. "Take that back..." Minho's voice changes, its deep and quiet, so much different than what it was before. Even after being together for two years, he still sometimes intimidates me. "Y/N.. take it back, I'm not joking." For a moment our eye contact is intense. I clear my throat before pulling myself together. "I'm leaving." I state, walking over to our dresser and grabbing the car keys, I turn around to leave the room and Minho is standing directly behind me. My face is to his chest, if I look at him again, I'll cave in. So I keep my head down. All I hear is the silent sound of his breathing before his hand runs down my arm and to the hand that the keys are in. He slowly pulls the keys from my hand and throws them onto the bed. "You're not leaving me... you're mine, do you understand?" He says in a hushed tone. He brings his hand to my chin and pulls up, making me look at him. And here I am... looking into those big brown eyes once again. "You were looking at another girl Min..." I whisper. "Honey... I was not looking at anyone, I would never do anything to lose you. And if you don't recall.. you were standing right next to this girl you think I was looking at." He states. My mind goes back to earlier, I was standing on the dance floor with a few of our friends and a girl next to me was gyrating all over everyone around us. When I looked up, I just so happened to have caught what I thought was my boyfriend watching the girl. "I was watching you, baby." He whispers, running his hands down my sides until he reached my waist, gracefully picking me up, spinning me around and setting me on our bed. "I'm always watching you..." He whispers, planting open mouthed kisses along my neck. I turn my head to the side to give him more room to work and wrap my arms around his shoulders, playing with the back of his hair. "I'm sorry.. I whisper. "Oh, darling. You have no reason to be sorry." His hands explore my body, before sliding underneath my shorts and cupping my heat. A sharp squeak leaves my lips at the feeling of his long fingers rubbing my sensitive bud. "You do have something you need to be punished for saying though..." He says with a smirk.

[drabbles-mc]

Even if You Don't

Benny Cross x Johnny Davis

Warnings: 18+, pining, angsty feels

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: went and saw The Bikeriders and immediately became unwell about it. won't be normal about them for a long time, i think.

Johnny’s first mistake was thinking that it would mean anything to him.

That was half the reason he fell for Benny in the first place. Before he even realized that he fell for him, he saw the way that Benny never seemed to bat an eye at anything and immediately Johnny knew that he wanted, needed, to keep him close by. Everything that they’d gone through, everything they’d done for the club, it never seemed to break the skin. Not Benny’s. Other guys, yeah, but not Benny. Never Benny.

His real mistake was thinking that he would be the one thing that would get underneath Benny’s skin. He wanted to. More than almost anything else he wanted to be the thing that put a crack in Benny’s armor, the thing that protected him more than the denim and patch on his back. But he wasn’t, even though he tried.

“It’s yours,” Johnny said, standing so close to Benny that Benny could feel his breath fanning across his skin. “Just…think about it.”

Benny didn’t look at him. Johnny’s lips were practically brushing against the impossibly smooth skin of Benny’s cheek and it was like he didn’t even notice. Johnny felt like his breath was catching in the back of his throat and he didn’t want to think that he was alone in that.

Maybe, he thought, his first mistake wasn’t thinking that it would matter to Benny. Maybe his first mistake was saying something other than what he really meant. If Johnny had plucked up the courage to say what he was really feeling, maybe then it would’ve mattered to Benny. The truth, laid out bare and vulnerable the way it should’ve been, might have gotten Benny to at least meet his eyeline.

It shouldn’t have been any harder to say, really. The truth in its totality was no longer of an explanation than the sliver of it that he’d offered to Benny in that moment. But he just couldn’t do it. Johnny could take a lot of beatings and still come out on top, keep getting back up again. He could wipe out on his bike and not hesitate to throw his leg back over it again once he got it upright. He could take all of that and then some with almost no complaints. But he knew he couldn’t take the toll of telling Benny everything and still having him walk away.

Kathy’s words rattled relentless around his skull. It was easier to blame his hesitancy on her so that was exactly what he did. It was her, not his own cowardice, that made him flake in the moment when it mattered most. He held his tongue and watched Benny hobble away on his crutch, not even sparing Johnny a backwards glance as he did. He wanted him, even if he couldn’t have him.

Benny never brought it up again. Johnny had to fight the urge every day to ask him about it. If the two of them hadn’t been men of such few words, he never would’ve been able to stop himself. He should’ve just been honest from the start. It’d make for one less weight on his shoulders. Late at night when he was laying in bed staring up at the ceiling, Johnny could swear that he felt the warmth radiating off Benny’s cheek still lingering on his skin. They’d been so close.

It was the middle of the night when Johnny tried to tell him again. The two of them cloaked in darkness, just like last time. Only this time their privacy wasn’t secured by an empty field, but by the close confines of Johnny’s car. They were still so close, and Benny still wasn’t looking at him.

“I can’t run this on my own anymore,” Johnny said. Not a lie but still not the full truth.

Benny wasn’t looking at him. His eyes were locked on the windshield, or rather on the street in front of them. Johnny was no mind-reader but he was still willing to bet that Benny was probably thinking about how quickly and easily he could get out of the car and make his way back over to his bike. Johnny couldn’t let him slip away without saying what he needed to. Not again.

“This club…it needs someone like you.” He was kicking himself for each word as it came out but he didn’t stop. “Not even someone like you,” he said as he shook his head. “It needs you. You.”

Benny raised his eyebrows slightly and Johnny thought that maybe they were getting somewhere. He was thinking that maybe Benny would turn and look at him and he’d see it all in Johnny’s eyes so he wouldn’t have to say it all out loud. Benny would just know what to do because Benny always knew what to do. Then Benny’s gaze just dropped to his own hands instead.

Johnny rested his hand on the console between them. He drew in a deep breath as slowly and quietly as he could, not wanting to give himself away although he briefly considered the fact that it was already too late for that. His hand clenched into a fist, grip tighter than it’d ever been wrapped around a handlebar, blunt nails digging into the meat of his palm.

He was able to look at Benny all the way up until the moment he started to speak again. Right as the first word started to tumble out, he stared at his clenched fist with more intensity than Benny was staring at his hands. If he looked at his hand, he wouldn’t be able to see the reaction or lack thereof on Benny’s face as he said, “I need you.”

The pause was agonizing. Silence hadn’t ever caused Johnny’s ears to ring quite so loudly before. His hand started to tremble as it stayed clenched on the console. He didn’t know what he was expecting. But he wanted it to be something. There wasn’t even the click of the door handle to let him know that Benny was walking away all over again.

Johnny’s voice had a bare hint of a tremor to it when he spoke up again, most of it disguised underneath the usual rasp. “I can’t do this without you.”

Benny shrugged, looking at Johnny’s clenched fist. “You’ve been runnin’ the club fine so far.”

Despite the passive nature of Benny’s words, they still breathed confidence into Johnny that had been slipping away in the silent moments before. He found it in himself to look at Benny even if he wasn’t going to return the favor. “I don’t mean the club. I can’t…” he trailed off for a moment, forcing his hand to open, palm flattening against the console again. “Club’s yours if you want it. I’m yours even if you don’t.”

That was what did it. Benny’s eyes flicked up from the console. He kept his expression trained, neutral the way that it so often. But the unwavering eye contact that he was finally giving said more than a blush or a frown or a smile ever would have. Johnny felt the air get stuck in the back of his throat again, felt the flashback of warmth from Benny’s skin despite the distance between them.

Slowly, almost methodically, Benny brought his hand up. He dragged the pads of his fingertips across his lips, like the action was coaching him into whatever his next move was going to be. Johnny couldn’t take his eyes off of Benny’s, but even so he was painstakingly aware of the fall of Benny’s hand. It didn’t land on top of Johnny’s. He didn’t get the reward of the warmth of Benny’s palm coating the back of his hand the way he desperately yearned for. But Benny’s hand did land in such a way that the tips of his fingers hooked against his. A ghost of a touch but somehow still more than Johnny felt like he’d ever gotten from him before.

It was always Johnny, really. Johnny��s hand out in an offer of help from the ground after a fight. Johnny’s arm tucked against Benny’s back helping him limp away after wiping out of his bike. Johnny’s hand firm against his chest pulling him back before Benny took things a few hits too far. It was always Johnny. Reaching. Starting. Hoping.

Now he could feel the pull of Benny’s fingers against his own. Touch that he didn’t initiate. Touch that Benny wasn’t pulling away from but rather leaning into. Johnny didn’t know when Benny’s face got so close to his, the two of them drawing closer and closer like a pair of magnets. Always pulling despite it all. There was no barrier this time, no safety net of Johnny’s lips beside Benny’s cheek, breath against his jawline. He couldn’t hide. Benny wasn’t letting him.

“Think about it,” Johnny said, repeating his words from before. He wondered if Benny would see it now, the way that it’d always been about this. Or maybe he always knew. Maybe he just wanted Johnny to say it so he knew he meant it.

Benny’s lips brushed against his in a way that somehow managed to be soft but still knock the wind out of him in a way that a landed punch never had. Soft in a way that Johnny hadn’t felt deserving of for longer than he could remember.

Then he was gone again. Hands in his lap, leaning back in the passenger seat like none of it had even happened. Eyes fixed forward once more while Johnny was still fighting the urge to lunge across the console to finish what they were finally starting.

Benny didn’t care about anything until he did, and even then he didn’t show it. Johnny reminded himself of that as he felt the chilly air winding its way between his fingers where Benny’s had previously been. He fixed himself so that he was properly back in the driver’s seat. There was a slight frown tugging at his lips as he tried to think about anything other than the rapid beat of his heart. Meanwhile Benny looked like he was thinking about his next cigarette.

Johnny’s tongue darted out along his bottom lip, gathering up the last traces of Benny he’d have for now, or for good if the cards didn’t fall just right. It wasn’t until he saw Benny mirror the same action, the fleeting but pensive look on his face as he did so, that Johnny allowed himself to entertain the thought that maybe Benny wasn’t as impenetrable as he’d originally thought. Benny who never batted an eye, Benny who acted first and thought about it later, Benny who didn’t bother asking questions. Benny who never flinched when it came to the club. That was the Benny that Johnny knew.

But now this wasn’t about the club anymore. He watched Benny, for the first time in a long time, think before making his next move. Then Johnny watched Benny reach for the handle of the door and he just hoped that he wasn’t making another mistake. The tightness in his chest was soothed only by the look Benny cast back over his shoulder at him as he walked to his bike. A ghost of a smirk on his face.

Bikeriders Taglist: currently nonexistent because i just saw the movie and started writing for it today 😂 benny and johnny will be living in my head rent free for the foreseeable future though so if you wanna get tagged please let me know! xo

[satureja13]

The next day. While Saiwa still tries to convince Jack that it's not possible to throw Greg in the dungeons of the castle without proper evidence and investigations, they suddenly heard an alarm going off ö.ö

Jeb: "Jack, Kiyoshi - quick! Let's get out of here!"

It wasn't hard to locate the source of the noise, it came from their TTT (Teleporting TukTuk)! They turned the alarm off. Despite the lock on its wheel, it must have moved out of the garage by itself.

Saiwa: "But why the alarm?" Vlad checked his calendar: "Erm, I guess over Jack's death, we've forgotten that it's Summer Solstice today..." Saiwa: "What? Already one and a half month have passed since then?" Time flies! And they'd already forgotten Beltane, the last festival in the wheel of the year... Today is the beginning of summer and the longest day of the year. Until Winter Solstice on December 21, the days are getting shorter again from tomorrow on.

Jack: "Maybe it wants us to board and it'll take us somewhere, like last time at Beltane when we found ourselves at Tartosa..." And so they squeezed themselves into the tiny teleporting TukTuk... Puppy Jack is already excited, as always: "I wonder where we are going this time!"

The TTT ported them away from Tomarang through the Otherworld... Well, this place looks familiar. It's Henford! Where Sai, Jack, Vlad and Ji Ho had spent their first weekend trip together almost two years ago! And where Jeb showed up and we saw his face for the first time (that was before he joined them).

But it's also the place where Jack's Heidi nightmare took place. Which lead to his breakdown - and his breakup with Kiyoshi... and the beginning of his pain. Saiwa: "Are you ok, Jack? Come, let's leave again." Jack: "What? No! It's Summer Solstice! We should celebrate. I'm fine. We deserve a little time out. Remember? The old Jack is dead and the new, better Jack is going to prosper!" Sometimes Saiwa wishes he had a tiny bit of Jack's optimism. How can he be so positive to be able to vercome his hardships after he wanted to throw Greg in the dungeons just a few minutes ago? Saiwa sighed. (This actually happened to me a few years ago. I had been working so hard on myself to overcome my hardships and prosper. I'd thought I'd come so far already and I had been utterly sure I'd made huge steps. But then something happened that showed me I wasn't as stable as I thought I was and it threw me back so far omg. Let's hope Jack will do better than me - with a little help of his friends.)

Also, Jack never forgot that Vlad wanted to come back to Henford with Ji Ho. That had been one of his last wishes before he died (after he drank Ji Ho's poisonous blood to claim him back from Genji...) So leaving is not an option for Jack. Everything happens for a reason.

Sai was not completely convinced that Jack is really ok but the show must go on: "Well then - let's change into something comfortable and hope that TTT brought some stuff with him."

And since they are in the Otherworld and the TTT is a magical vehicle, there was actually a lot the tiny TukTuk brought with him - and to set up :3 There is even a tent that looks like Barfolomews holy Star Wars tent Jack had destroyed on their weekend trip (Ji Ho worked at the Diner de los Muertos to pay for the repair - where he met Luci...) Of course Vlad and Jack will sleep in the Star Wars tent. And Kiyoshi and Jeb will share a tent (Kiyoshi is still not back to his old self since he came back after spending decades in the tree / becoming a diety) and Saiwa and Ji Ho the other. Even the Little Goats joined them!

Saiwa is worried about Jack, no matter how much he claims to be ok. Jack is Saiwa's oldest friend, he'll talk to him later when everything is set up and the goats and the Boys are fed.

And while the others set up the tents and stuff, Jeb prepared the meals. The sun was just setting when they started to eat. What a wonderful world. They deserve a peaceful festival after all they went through.

'I see skies of blue and clouds of white The bright blessed day the dark sacred night And I think to myself what a wonderful world

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky Are also on the faces of people going by I see friends shaking hands saying, "How do you do?" They're really saying I love you'

Louis Armstrong - What a wonderful World

The way Sai looks at Jeb when he looks in another direction <3

And then his face fell when he looked back at Jack.

When they finished their meal, Sai and walked a bit together. Just until they saw the Mansion from afar. Greg had brought toddler Jack to the Mansion after he rescued him from the Lab and he grew up here with 'Uncle' Stefan (Stefan is not his real Uncle). And here also the worst part of his Heidi Nightmare took place... Saiwa: "Let's leave, we'll find another place, hm?"

Jack: "I won't run away anymore. I've come so far and my pain is almost gone. Maybe I died ingame so I can prove that the therapy works? That I can carry over what I've learned ingame to my real life? It will be painful and hard. And I miss Lou so much. But it will be worth it in the end. I'll start a new life. You will help me, won't you? Push me when I fall back in my old, crazy habits." Sai: "Of course I will help you. I'm just not sure if I can push you. I'm worried you're going too fast."

But then a Summer Solstice Wonder happened! A flock of cute birds were flying in circles around Jack! With sparkles and singing and everything! As if they wanted to reassure him that he's on the right path! Jack: "What? ... See?!" Saiwa: "How did you do that? You are really something else ^^'"

Sai: "I hope I can find a kind of balance between pushing you and keeping you safe. But I'm always there for you. Just talk to me, hm? And we still have Vlad." Jack: "Promised. I love you." Saiwa sighed but he said it anyway: "I know." (Saiwa is not much into Star Wars, that's more a Jack/Vlad thing. But he knows it makes Jack happy when he answers with 'I know' ^^')

to be continued...

The Boys had quite the event on last year's Summer Solstice ö.ö Let's hope this year's is quieter.

The Therapy Game Master Post with the sessions and places so far is -> here

From the Beginning  ~  Underwater Love ~  Latest Current Chapter: 'Who killed Jack?' from the beginning ▶️ here Last Chapter: 🕹️ 'The One' from the beginning ▶️ here 📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 17-22 ~ 23-28