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#and just. I wanted him to beat it so bad
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:( I miss technoblade
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saccharinerose · 11 months
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Furina: Anyone I've ever worked with probably couldn't wait to get rid of me... Since I'm just an ordinary person now. They'll probably just laugh in my face if I go asking them for help... :(
Neuvillette, the second Furina asks him about booking the Opera Epiclese, the process for which is notably cumbersome and complex: Yes, I will take care of it immediately. Btw does this mean you will allow audiences (myself included) to enjoy your outstanding acting talents once more? 🥺
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turtleblogatlast · 3 months
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[ cw: death mention / strangulation mention / stabbing mention / blood mention / self-sacrifice / codependency mention in tags / ]
I think a lot about how common it is for Raph to be the one to have direct focus put on him when Leo gets into all his near death experiences.
Like, when Leo is thrown off a building, it’s Raph who’s right there jumping after him, not even thinking about the consequences to himself when he does. When Leo almost gets skewered by the Krang, Raph’s right there to take the blow and send Leo to safety without a second thought. When Leo’s being strangled to near death, it’s a Krangified Raph doing the job, doing exactly what Raph would never, ever want to do. When Leo is telling Casey Jr to close the portal, it’s Raph who tries desperately to convince Leo otherwise.
Likewise, Leo is consistently very single minded when Raph gets forcibly separated from them. Both when in the sewers and by the Krang, Leo is dead set on finding Raph first and foremost.
I also think it’s interesting that during each of Leo’s near death experiences, the lightheartedness of his words during them goes directly hand in hand with both how close Raph is to him physically and how much danger Raph is also in in that moment. From a literal “I told you so” as Leo’s falling away from Raph to a soft joke about how “hero moves” are Raph’s style - both of these are on the more morbidly carefree side and both of these notably take Leo farther away from Raph and, in turn, have Raph not in immediate danger.
On the other side of things is the apology from Leo, heedless of the danger he himself is in as he seriously and genuinely speaks to a Krangified Raph face to face. Then there’s Leo’s freezing and desperation as Raph takes a hit meant for him and sends just Leo to safety, leaving Raph himself behind. Both of these involve much closer proximity and Raph being directly harmed - these together make Leo much more vulnerable in his words and actions, something not even the threat of death can make him.
These two care about each other so much, and they’re way too much alike for their own good.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt raph#rise raph#rottmnt leo#rise leo#honorable mention to the time Leo desperately tried throwing himself into harm’s way to get to Karai#and Raph is the one who has to pull him back#I also think that it’s interesting how both of them go about self sacrifice#because wow they both have problems with it#Raph’s tends to be immediate reactions not even thinking as he throws himself over his bros#Leo’s are often shown to be ‘for the greater good’ (said greater good often being his family)#once again I am saying that post movie these two would likely have codependency issues#considering Raph’s already present acute seperation anxiety and Leo’s immediate memory of Raph standing over him bleeding#another thing to mention is how Future Leo’s actual death still falls into the whole ‘morbidly lighthearted words’ category#I also wanna point out that in Many Unhappy Returns the trust that Leo wants so much does NOT come from Splinter but from RAPH#side note but in regard to the fighting that Raph and Leo were up to during the time between the shredder and the krang#I think it’s interesting that it’s NOT depicted as screaming matches - very blatantly not this actually#also also! I totally love how the movie parallels Oroku Saki and Karai with Raph and Leo respectively#there are so many parallels in general in this show+movie it makes me froth at the mouth#and because it breaks my heart - the beginning of the movie had Raph getting angry at Leo and lashing out at him#the end of the movie has the Krang very very angry at Leo and lashing out at him#both of these times has Leo ‘ruining’ a mission so…bad parallels#in the movie as well there’s a Krangified Raph who beats Leo senseless#so I have to wonder if Raph and Leo just…can’t roughhouse anymore#else Leo would flinch or Raph would be so scared to accidentally hurt Leo like he was already used to do before#then suddenly their usual dynamic of Raph never having to be softer with Leo is thrown on its head#worse is if they’re so terrified of this dynamic leaving that they power through their own sufferings to maintain it
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eikichi-supremacy · 6 months
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If nothing else Koenma is a Kuwabara stan and I'm right there with him o7 (I need to write the kuwameshi fic that goes with this fr)
#maybe one day i'll write that au i have sitting in my head#ever since the comment he made about making kuwa spirit detective instead ive been thinking about it#like...what if yusuke is still recruited same as canon but like#kuwa was already spirit detective? doing assignments for the guys upstairs and all#and they made yusuke help him after his resurrection instead of going solo#and it's hilarious because they still have the ''rivalry'' set in place so it's like#now i gotta be coworkers with this guy i was in a fist fight with last week?#yusuke is like you can't be serious you want me to fight DEMONS with the guy who cant even beat ME? lmaooo okay#kuwa would be more in tune with his powers atp in this au and super offended like hello#why would i use my reiki on a FELLOW HUMAN CHILD you DICK i can hold my own on my assignments just fine#but he's actually really excited to be able to spend time with yusuke doing something besides getting his ass handed to him#they're both genkai's students (she's endlessly annoyed but they grow on her)#i just think it'd be fun cos like#it'd be harder to exclude kazuma from shit if he's literally been involved in this shit before he even met#kurama and hiei#kuwabara isn't really told about yusuke's resurrection so things go mostly the same up til he's brought back#they're both called to koenma's office and it's the spiderman pointing meme 💀#it's koenma's first time seeing kuwa in person as he usually just sends assignments with botan#yusuke has already seen him cos of the resurrection arc#and koenma is SUCH a fanboy ''kuwabara it's such a pleasure. you know you're my best worker 🥺''#''um urameshi am i seeing things or is that a fuckin baby'' yusuke will NOT stop laughing#it fucks koenma up so bad he makes sure he's in his adult form when he's around kuwa next#cos he wants to be the respected boss but also guy that you can chill with!! he's so cringe#okay yeah i need to write this it's such a fun concept#kuwameshi#yu yu hakusho#kuwabara kazuma#yusuke urameshi#koenma
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theloveinc · 1 year
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There's a lot of validity in the idea that older Bakugo is a traumatized pro-hero with major PTSD... but you know what's kinda fucked up to think about? The fact that Bakugo is also a 22-year-old pro-hero with major PTSD even before that, too.
It's almost easy to imagine that things are actually better when he's older (the therapy finally a routine, the trauma long set and on the path to being healed)... and that it's his whole 20s that are spent as a pool of disaster trying to recover from the war(s).
He looks back and barely even remembers being twenty, much less twenty-five or twenty-seven. Barely remembers how little he slept, not at the hands of trying to balance hero work and getting a degree at the same time, but just out of the pure insomnia that came from trying to move on and every nightmare attached.
Hardly ever showering, never shaving (not that he ever grew much of a beard, but the facial hair was definitely there. There's pictures of him on the news with an awkward, grown out haircut and patches on facial hair that make him look positively... immature), barely even eating more than a few protein bars or an energy jelly drink-a day. It's a blur, and his friends are hardly there to pick him up out of it because they're all going through it, too. Somewhat.
It's definitely weird if you meet him during this period. He's not all there, at least, not all of the time. He doesn't really register your interactions, the friendship you extend to him (a younger, or ever older, version of him would've shown you that deep seeded ferocity in response, tried to bite the hand that fed him, even if it were love... but 20s Bakugo... doesn't seem to notice). Even though only one of his eyes is clouded over, the good one never seems to brighten up.
There's definitely moments when the old him shines through: when he's with Deku, when he's in the midst of battle, when he finds out that Todoroki still does a shitty job at chopping scallions. But it's a long time before he's even close to the same, able to step out from underneath the fog of simply surviving and into the sunshine of recovering.
But I think sticking through it with him is worth it.
(It's a weird moment, a happy moment, the first time you realize that Bakugo has changed. That the pouring rain outside hasn't bothered him since he showed up at your apartment. He forgot his umbrella, he's been quite careless ever since the war—wet and shaggy hair frizzed up, cheeks red from cold—but he doesn't seem to mind, with his bare feet up on your coffee table, his eyes gazing out the window. You hand his tea, and instead of gulping it down in one go, letting it burn in his throat, he winces at the heat.
"Tastes like shit," he says, and you laugh because it always does. Just this time, he noticed.)
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shannonsketches · 6 months
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Why is the anime so weird, it's not even the same series dude?? It's like,
Anime:
GOKU: I have a great idea to bring peace to the universe, and my leadership and compassion alone will unite us all. I have No Flaws and am A True Relatable Everyman :)
VEGETA: NO! I AM THE BEST AND I WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS UNTIL I AM RECOGNIZED AS SUCH!!!!
Manga:
GOKU: Vegeta what's cornmeal made of? I know it's what the corn eats, but what's it made of? VEGETA: Hey Kakarot let's play the quiet game until one of us dies.
#dbtag#I do not understand this writing it's so bad aklsdlkasjd#Toei wants Goku to be Clark Kent SO bad and he SO isn't lmao#they're so good and dumb and rounded and complex in the manga what is the anime so afraid of#Toriyama said 'no no this man is a detached faux-immortal who has a dear pure heart but he's childlike and selfish even though he's kind'#and toei went 'got it goku's never done anything wrong ever in his life'#toriyama said 'Vegeta's gone through a lot and he's finally settling into his more mature leadership role with the confidence he's earned'#and toei said 'got it vegeta has the confidence of a high school bully except now he can interact with his family as a comedy bit'#girl hWHAT#Toei trying to group Goku and Vegeta as two people who would rather train than be with their families and Toriyama said NO Vegeta wants#to be HOME this is the first time in years that he's HAD ONE and it makes him HAPPY to be with his wife and children!!#Vegeta trains so that he can protect the things he doesn't want to lose again and Goku trains because it's the thing that makes him happies#They are NOT the same lmao And yeah Vegeta still wants to beat Goku but he also knows that Gohan could dogwalk both of them if he wanted#He also knows Trunks and Goten are going to surpass them it's not about being the best anymore he's past that he just wants to Not Need Gok#He just doesn't want to have to rely on Goku to save the day he wants to be Enough on his own he just wants to know he can be#because every time it's mattered he WASN'T and people he loved were lost to his inability to protect them and he carries that#Like Whis diagnosed him with anxiety and cptsd out in the open and Beerus said he was self-centered for feeling guilt#+ he lowkey enjoys the rivalry it keeps him goal-oriented so he can't get complacent and lazy which is what triggered his Buu Saga breakdow#realized how Fucked Up it was that having a home and loving family made him feel like he was failing and went 'wait no I won actually??'#now he's chill as fuck in the manga. cool confident leader.#and sometimes he is childish and dumb with Goku as a treat#you know what rocks about his rivalry with Goku in Super though is that it's Playful. Vegeta is learning how to Play.#You ever seen a shelter dog get introduced to a really playful dog and it takes a minute for the shelter dog to understand it's safe here#And then they're both running around the backyard playing hot potato with one braincell?? That's Goku and Vegeta's relationship#and the way the anime sleeps on that dynamic is so fucking criminal especially when it's literally canon it's in print it's out there#you had the playbook how'd you fumble it this bad#anyway that's my 25+ year blorbo thoughts I love Geets a lot okay#And I love Goku in the manga a lot I'd forgotten that he's actually a great character when Toei's not fucking up his whole vibe
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ibeewashere · 7 months
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I genuinely cannot describe how deeply DEVASTATED I am about riz being the only one who can take stress tokens for the others. Yes fig is a protector and will fight endlessly for her friends and I love that about her but there is something about the way riz loves his friends. It’s a more subtle kind of love, but just as relentless and passionate and he will take any burden for the people he cares about and bear the weight of it on his shoulders so they don’t have to deal with it without any hesitation. I am ILL.
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imogenkol · 3 months
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KINCADE PACK 🐺 (original works) — “The name goes back centuries, and all Miranda cares about is making sure it lasts for many more”
[template by @tommyarashikage]
tag list (ask to be added or removed!): @adelaidedrubman @florbelles @simonxriley @voidika @kyberinfinitygems @voidbuggg @inafieldofdaisies @statichvm @socially-awkward-skeleton @aceghosts @carlosoliveiraa @risingsh0t @unholymilf @thedeadthree @cassietrn @jackiesarch @a-treides @shellibisshe @loriane-elmuerto @katsigian @captastra @simplegenius042 @theelderhazelnut @g0dspeeed @leviiackrman @strangefable @jacobseed
#insp: the lodge#too many ocs to tag here lmao#this is a little bit rushed because it’s like 2am#but I’ve been thinking about doing this template for them since I first saw it#FINALLY I get to talk about this fucked up rich werewolf family#Logan and Jayde’s dad were best friends and grew up together#so Jayde and Skye essentially grew up with Logan’s kids#there’s a lot of complicated feelings there between the kids for various reasons#they consider each other family to a degree (more like cousins)... but some of them would definitely straight up kill each other.#Miranda had her eye mostly on Jayde because she’s the same age as Garret and Miranda’s main goal is to strengthen her bloodline#and Jayde comes from a well known purebred bloodline#so Miranda’s golden boy Garret (massive douchebag) tried his darndest to rizz up Jayde for most of their childhood#Jayde fucking despises him. she beat his ass on more than one occasion. which massively bruised his fragile ego. but he still wants to hit#Amara and Mitchell are the designated chaos twins that Jayde has a love/hate relationship with. Skye gets along with them great of course#Jonas is the only mf that has his head on straight. He's mostly separated from the fam. removed at the 'heir' when he didn't want it.#now hes a werewolf therapist for werewolves with a small family of his own. he reminds Jayde of her dad. he's around the same age too#SCANDAL: Jonas is slightly older than Logan lmao#Declan is the other golden boy. the precious spoiled baby. Miranda's backup for the backup.#he's terrified of Garret so he tries to stay out of his way and mostly keeps to himself#tbh Declan is just Scared of Everything and desperately doesn't want any responsibility but tries to hide it#anyway before Jayde's dad was killed and she was captured they knew hunters were coming for them#so they went to the Kincades for help. Miranda would only accept the girls.#Jayde chose to stay with her parents and they left Skye with the family to keep her safe (she was 12)#that was the last time Skye saw her family intact :/ she didn’t see Jayde again for years.#so Miranda pampered her and groomed her to be in her family.#like she was this little jewel. the last living Thatcher.#now that Jayde is back and Skye is with her and they're living their own life#Miranda be scheming. she wants to claim their bloodline sooo bad.#anyway sorry for the massive lore dump there’s.... a lot of complicated shit going on here
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carefulfears · 12 days
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we've both talked about how scully isn't jealous fire. what differences do you see between protective scully vs jealous scully?
yeah to me the main difference is that one is more external and the other internal. she gets very emotional when she’s jealous. in episodes like alpha (literally sitting that woman down and going “i’m watching you.” cracks me tf up. Dana nobody is taking your man.) and war of the coprophages, it’s kind of angry. it’s louder, but still something very vulnerable and true to her (hater-ism). in episodes like the end, it’s heartbreak. that’s one of the very few episodes where i think she was purely jealous, and sad. she usually understands what’s going on and i think she knew as soon as she heard him call diana by her first name that something was going to change. i think it hurt her feelings, that specific display of connection, usually reserved for her.
when she’s jealous she retreats. she watches quietly. she cries alone in her car. she needs a moment to herself.
it’s when she’s protective that you can’t shake her for anything. one of my favorite images in fire is her standing in the doorway while mulder and phoebe meet with the arson specialist. i didn’t even notice she was there the first time i saw it. she wasn’t invited. she’s just keeping watch. later, she’s standing in the hallway. after that, she’s in his hotel room, and doesn’t leave when phoebe comes in. says “are you okay?” the moment they’re alone.
people write off her behavior in this one as being “jealous” because she has a lil crush and there’s another woman there, but i honestly find that dismissive. sometimes people discuss scully through such a wide lens, not taking into account who she is. she’s really surprised throughout the time that phoebe was there. it’s that soft edge that still shocks to cruelty, that she never really loses. it’s what shocks in the pilot when the doctor hits mulder twice. what shocks in the following episode when the government agents punch him on the side of the road. (look at you you’ve radicalized scully). it’s what makes her wary of jerry lamana, even before he stole mulder’s work.
but phoebe is so cruel, and so personal, and has so much history. it’s not jealousy that makes scully linger in doorways. it’s not jealousy that spawns that folie a deux. no one else understands. no one else can be trusted. (which i do kind of think started in fire, i’ve said before). she isn’t jealous that he startles when he hears this woman’s voice.
and i know that’s a lot on phoebe as an example, but it doesn’t stop. she doesn’t stop keeping watch. she doesn’t stop shocking to cruelty. she’ll get loud. she’ll make plans. she’ll surprise herself. and it doesn’t come with jealousy’s mortifying intimacy.
(don’t have much else to say but i found this from an old post of mine and wanted to share: “scully has that kind of protectiveness towards him that you have towards a child that hasn't been touched by the world yet. it's very 'the world is at least half terrible, though i keep this from my children.’ 'good bones' by maggie smith. scully in the beginning is like......there is something here that should have broken by now. and she wants to watch him be able to walk into every room with the most hopeful answer and a hand out to every stranger.”)
she shares him with the world only reluctantly, Etc etc
#she wants people to be kind to him and it breaks her over and over#i’m still not very With It but i wanted to talk about this for a sec#i do think scully’s protectiveness is a much larger topic#i think it’s a huge source of harm for her#i think it’s a constant failure to her#i think it’s a endless cycle of wanting to absorb him whole or lock him up and shut the gate and then feeling bad. regretting it.#huge plot of iwtb / msi#it almost develops from that initial s1 jumpiness of just wanting people to not fucking beat him down#into knowing that everything does. everything will.#could they ever recover from her exiling him from being with their child because she was afraid it would kill him? i don’t know#the other thing that i’ve been thinking about a lot with this is that she’s guarding something most people don’t see#this world is so cruel to him. it’s insane to rewatch and see how carelessly people just want to see if they can shake him#and this world desperately wants to beat this kind of gentle vulnerability out of people#and it would be easier for scully if they did. she wouldn’t spend her days with a weeping wound. she wouldn’t be so anxious. so on guard#but she is unwaveringly dedicated to the much more difficult task of protecting something that’s very precious to her#i do think these qualities in her are extremely moving in that respect#and i love scully’s judgmental hater-ism#i just do also think it becomes a pathology for her in some ways#anyway those are some loose threads#asks#fire#‘For long hours on his couch that night#autopsy hands on his head#in his hair#she'd thought about what it would mean to hide him away.#Thought about what it would mean to steal and stash him like fairy treasure#to draw protective rings.’#(audries ‘throat eye and knucklebone’)
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i have never felt this uniquely insane about a character <3 i cant get a read on him
#what is his DEAL#im usually really good at pegging a character's intentions / general vibe#BUT IM GETTING SO MANY MIXED SIGNALS THAT I JUST DONT KNOW#his off the charts rizz is fucking up my geiger counter#is he evil? is he a victim? a pawn/minion? does he have good intentions? neutral ones? bad ones?#I CANT TELL#welcome home#wally darling#i mean im team 'wally is a victim just trying to help / protect his friends (maybe the 'viewer')'#and home is maybe the main villian but also not bc the villain is the abstract force of cosmic horror manifesting as the chasm under home#and it has simply infected home or possessed it#and welcome home's whole deal is cosmic horror from a puppet's perspective#and they all need to stick together like glue to get through the Ordeals and Situations#and wally's just trying to keep his friends safe and the neighborhood together and fix home#BUT if it turns out wally is straight up evil then. yknow. i support his wrongs <3#he could do literally anything and id be twirling my hair cheering and clapping#i love his big hair and gay little outfit#ever since i watched night minds video he hasnt left my brain. i think he's eating it#like i want him dead. i want him to be happy. i want to beat his little body against a wall until his stuffing comes out. i want to hug him#he is everything to me. he activates my maiming instincts but also my cherish instincts#i want him to get all the hugs from his friends#god i cant wait for this whole enchilada to kick off its gonna be a DOOZY#i trust clown's brilliant mind no matter which way they take this#absolutely fascinating stuff. i already know im in this for the long haul
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be-an-echo · 9 months
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let's go my love, we don't belong here anymore...
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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Redrawing a thing I drew a million years ago (x)
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gladiatorcunt · 3 months
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han solo wants what atton rand has
#AND THATS A FACT#guys pls play kotor 2 and see my vision#atton deserves a romance questline with as much depth and length as astarion’s fr#and also an option to be an evil power couple#i will fund the kotor remakes and kotor 3 myself if i have to#its the way i didn’t even know he existed when i started playing#but then i fell in love#like he’s an extremely close second to anakin#‘they can’t hurt you bc you’ll be right here with me playing pazaak’ AND THEN THAT BEING BASICALLY THE LAST THING HE SAYS#obsidian partner with larian studios and bring kotor back and my life is yours#i deadass wrote fic about my mc and atton after playing#star wars#knights of the old republic#i havent played the restored content mod but even then its like……. i need something more#a fictional star wars situationship really had me crying bc i wanted a better ending#kotor 2 is so interesting bc i loved it#but whats great about it sometimes reinforces whats bad about it#that being the cut content and the sometimes apparent lack of substance in spots#i shouldn’t have been an infant when kotor 2 was made i shouldve been in the writers room#i need him i need him i need him#‘you have a husband?’ oooooooooooooooooooh#i just think seeing the kotor games with the graphics of something like jedi survivor would be insane#fav#i could talk about this game forever i beat both of them in the span of like about 2 weeks i was obsessed#my nerd ass loves star wars sm#like lets keep going back in time i rlly dont care about the ‘modern’ star wars era#and theres an easter egg line where atton calls you an angel even though he says hes joking#ahhhhhhhhhhhhh#genuinely down bad#📜.scrolls
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ganondoodle · 3 months
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im not lying when i say that i was just finally getting "over" totk, like i hate it still, but the immediate anger and need to rant has died down-
and then the elden ring DLC fucks with me in a very similar way, just even moreso focused on my favorite character in that entire franchise, completely unexpectedly, and the more i learn about it the worse it gets and now i feel even worse bc i dont have the energy anymore to get as angry as i did with totk and its just kinda ... depression and sadness ..
it was like the interest i could fall back to when zelda annoyed me too much or i needed a break from that and i was honestly thinking about doing more with it but now
i know i know i can always draw 'my own stuff' but being a fan of a piece of media or character is just fun and .. furfilling to me in a different way and now i feel so empty again ... and finding new things to obsess about is easier said and done bc i dont 'decide' to stop liking something and neither can just decide to obsess over something so im just kinda left hanging here ... and in a way, i still like it and care about it, frustratingly so, and dont WANT to just stop and find soemthign new ...
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good-beanswrites · 10 months
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If it's okay with you, could you write a drabble about the hypothetical aftermath of Amane getting attacked by Kotoko?
Welp thank you pal for making me absolutely insane with this request 👍 I ran through a few hypotheticals and realized I had to shift some things around since there were so many absolutely tragic outcomes. I worked something out but damn if it didn’t make me emotional to think about how uniquely rough Amane has it. Even making sure she's in a good place at the end, this got pretty serious, so warnings for child abuse and cult references. 
(So in canon, Kotoko goes in order and attacks Fuuta, but Kazui steps in. Then she attacks Mahiru while he’s distracted with his injuries. She’s about to attack Amane, but Mikoto gets in the way (my hc that he did it on purpose survives!). By the time they reach a draw, Kazui is back, and the two of them can prevent Kotoko from any further action against Amane. Sticking to this apparent system of three attacks and one rescue, I’m just shuffling around the injuries for this story. Fuuta’s attack went unnoticed, and he’s in the same state as canon Mahiru. Mikoto steps in before Kotoko can fight Mahiru, so Mappi’s the one who get out physically unscathed. While Mikoto checks on Mahiru, recovers himself, or discovers Fuuta, Kotoko is able to attack Amane next. Kazui comes to help, but not before she leaves Amane looking like canon Fuuta.)
Mahiru could practically feel her heart shatter into a million pieces when Amane finally cried in front of her. She hadn’t shed a single tear yesterday – it was the shock, Shidou said. Mahiru was skeptical. After all, she had been shocked, too, and cried plenty.
Amane woke as she came in with breakfast. She took a moment to survey herself, bandages peeking out from beneath her pajamas and an eyepatch securely over her right eye. As calmly as one might say “good morning,” she started to cry. Mahiru might have missed it, if Amane hadn’t wiped at her good eye with her sleeve.
“Oh, sweetheart…!” Mahiru rushed over to her. “It’s okay, I’m here.” She wanted nothing more than to wrap the girl in a secure embrace, but she remembered the mass of bandages that were around her chest. Shidou had mentioned broken ribs and bruises. It took everything in her not to cry along with Amane, at the thought.
“I can get you another ice pack, if you need. Or more medicine.” Her mind spun with ways to help with pain. Many of the first aid supplies had been used to keep Fuuta from the brink of death, but surely there were extras to spare for Amane. 
The girl just shook her head. 
She muttered, “I can’t… I…I’m going to be punished, I’m going to be punished…”
“No! You’re safe now.” Mahiru placed her hands gently on Amane’s arms. “Kotoko’s not coming back. We’re all watching over you. You’re safe. She’s not going to hurt you anymore.” 
“That’s not…” Amane pulled away. Her voice stayed level, despite hiccups interrupting her. A hand reached up to her eyepatch. “It’s this. It’s all of this. It’s sinful. I took it off last night, but he must have…” She started unwrapping it. “They’re going to punish me...” 
With a careful motion, Mahiru held it in place and took Amane’s hands into her own. She’d been picking up on the signs ever since they arrived here together, and a final wave of understanding washed over her. 
“I can’t let you do that.”
Amane’s expression twisted, though words came out far more frantic than fiery. “Let me go.” 
Mahiru didn’t. “I’m sorry. Amane, you need this treatment.”
“That is not your decision to make. That is not any human’s decision to make.”
Mahiru pressed her lips together. “I know. But I can’t watch as you… I can’t sit by again while someone…” She was careful not to apply any pressure, but she could no longer fight the urge to gather Amane up in her arms. “You don’t need to be afraid of those people, anymore.”
“I’m not afraid.” Amane hiccuped. “They love me, and I love them. I need to be good for them.”
“I love you, and I don’t want to see you in pain.”
“You just pity me because I’m young.”
“Why does your age matter? You are a lovely young woman – you are my friend – and I can’t bear to see you in pain.”
The two sat in silence for a moment. Mahiru doubted she would take that as an answer; Amane had refused to call any of the others her friend. At least she didn’t argue. In fact, it seemed she was leaning into the embrace a bit more. She sighed a shaky breath into Mahiru’s uniform.
“Listen, Amane. Can you do me a favor? I’m trying to be a good girl, too. To make up for something awful, I need to make sure you’re alright. Can you help me? Can we be good together?”
A long pause followed. Amane’s voice spoke up, ever so gently.
“I suppose I can consider it.” She added quickly, “for the sake of your redemption. Of course.”
“Of course.”
#milgram#amane momose#mahiru shiina#thank you so much! i dont want to be bubbly on such a serious drabble but i want to give an enthusiastic thanks because this one really got#the gears turning!!#i started making plans as soon as i saw the ask and it took so long finding something that wouldnt result in straight up tragedy :(#if i kept to the initial timeline and said kazui didnt step in until amanes attack then both fuuta and mahiru would be close to death#and given there seems to limited supplies i think one of them would have died if shidou needed to treat three critical patients#so i moved people around to make sure everyone survived#which brought me to the main problem of amane self sabotaging her medical care#even minor injuries could have resulted in death if she got her way and removed bandages/refused treatment#but the mental strain of keeping the treatment would be just as bad as the physical pain -- shed be paranoid 24/7 of#divine punishment and repeating the mistakes that led her here.... it would hurt more to be forced like that#so i needed someone to be able to get through to her gently#but the only one who shes been able to trust just got the shit beat out of him and is in no position to talk!!!!#everyone else would just make her more upset or not know how to convince her the right way :(#still - i think mahiru could do it the best! with her own trauma from allowing loved ones to die in front of her i think shed be motivated#so. yeah.#i know amane is supposed to be talking in the plural pronoun now but i couldnt get it to work - lets just say that kicks in soon after this#tw cults#tw child abuse#drabbles
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spiked-mall-goth · 1 year
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i need to fight somebody. like a real fight no holding back. i need to punch someone hard in the stomach. i need to be kicked in the guts. i need to be repeatedly slapped in the face. i need to bite someone really really hard. i need to scratch and to be scratched. i need to be knocked over on my ass. i need to kick someones legs out. i need to pin someone down and start punching them repeatedly. i need to do all of this and then fuck nasty. i think that would fix me. even just for a minute
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