#and led them all to it and it was LIFE and reconnection and joy

[sundriedworm]

‘A cliche story about the end of the world.’

Demo TBA

[Content warning]: This IF is intended for 18+ readers due to themes of depression, self-harm, violence, death, and potentially more as the story developes. Please read with care and take care of yourself above all!

It started with a wish…

Up above the rocky hills, the roaring oceans, deafening cities and isolated hills, a star shining in a brilliant white glow.

Growing up in the small town of Glass, you realized early on that the world tends to loop. Days blurring together, the same acts after the same acts that’d leave the years melting into one big glass of boredom. Add a dash of sugar and you get the small town experience.

Glasses of lemonade on hot days in the field, rough hands and scraped knees…

You play as a 22 year old, just released from a psych ward. Brittle and recovering just in time to go home to a father who you have a love/hate relationship with-you had hoped for a story of healing and reconnection.

That’s not the one you’re given…

You come home, leaving the safety of white walls and set schedules, leaving to face the chaos of the world-politics and disasters, and a newly discovered star that people claim is heading towards earth…a star that people claim is the first sign of the end of the world.

And for once in your long and hazy existence, do you see…feel…the evidence that times are indeed changing.

Stagnancy coming to an end…

With a bright bursting light and a taste of impossibility.

• Decide who you are; appearance, sexuality, hobbies, favorite color, star sign, and the chosen you made, that led to who you now are…

• Fall in love-or don’t, the choice is yours. Five romancable or befriendable characters.

• Create bonds that last (for whatever amount of time is left) whether that means friendships or animal friends, or yourself-that’s up to you…

•Deal with your grief in a multitude of ways; Bad humor, anger, or maybe just shrivel up into a ball and stay there.

• Learn to live again, and learn to love it

• Watch the world change

• Watch it crash…

• Watch it burn…

• And watch it end.

Sydney Moore; The Bleeding Heart.

Sydney was never one to make big plans, most of her life she hopped along, dragging all hopes and dreams with her. So it was no surprise that when her grandad called, she dropped everything in the city to move back to Glass. Caught up in the middle of the end, watching buildings crumble and humans turn to despair, Sydney grips the edges and holds them together, even if it threatens to be her undoing.

Diego Montoya; The Sunflower.

Diego hates Glass, in fact it’s the last place on earth he’d like to be. Not that he’d ever tell his father that, his dad’s pride is his own, and he is well aware that the farm he grew up on is like his father’s second child. Diego dreams of escape, but his roots keep him held down, and Diego is more than ready to face the burn of the sun-if it means keeping his dad happy. The event of the star bursting sends hope radiating through him, for once in his life he stares at the sun, his eyes shining just as bright…

Isaiah Locke: The Camellia

Isaiah bows his head every night, clenching fingers together, praying for forgiveness. For what? Perhaps just for being alive…because despite the polite exterior, the purity of clean clothes and a pearly white smile, Isaiah carries a darkness that the lord can’t merely ‘fix’. As his parents pride and joy, a miracle created by God’s hands himself, Isaiah has a certain standard, and he’s yet to see himself or any other meet it…When things grow messy, despair runs rampant, Isaiah feels himself being torn between reveling in it and searching for his savior..

Abigail Fox: The Forget-Me-Not.

Abigail never mastered the gesture of false smiles, her own always too sharp, too fake-even with pretty red lips. The drawl of sweet honey sounding more trapping than kind and hands that always were a bit too sharp. Being the image of perfection is no simple thing, and morality isn’t either-if given the chance, Abbey would let the world burn if it meant tasting the brief taste of freedom and recognization. Lost in a world no longer centered around her, she’s stumbling with the weight of responsibility, not even her bright eyes can guide her now…

???: The Ghost Pipe

To be at home, is the greatest wish…

I am not a professional writer! I’m often stumped on punctuation, I try to hard to be poetical (didn’t do too well in English class either). I’m writing this purely because I have far too many thoughts and far too much time on my hands.

(Also…I struggle with coding-so getting the demo out will not be easy 💀.)

I hope at least some of you are interested in what you see. If you could offer any (gentle) critique, I’d welcome it with open arms.

Thank you in advance <3

[lurkingshan]

Japanese QL Corner

Counting my blessings this week as these current shows continue to absolutely kill it. These are all streaming on Gaga or provided via fansub (feel free to ask if you don’t know where to find them).

Our Youth

This week we were treated to a series of relationship negotiation conversations, several scenes so charged with tension and meaning that I am still not done processing, and a metaphor that just about knocked me out. Hirukawa can see through Minase's weak protests and just keeps putting himself near him, and now with Minase's parents likely divorcing and his impending departure abroad, he feels like he has nothing to lose, so he may as well give in to his desires. I am attuned to the pacing so I assume within the next two eps we will be wrapping up this high school backstory (brace yourselves for the horrors) and then going back to the present to see how they come back together as adults. I can't wait; this show is just killing it.

Love is Like a Poison

We begin this week's ep with the sweet smell of vindication, because as I thought, Haruto did not leave Shiba. He simply put his ring safely away and went out on a mission. Our Battle Couple continues to thrive! After another terrible encounter with his father (another strong contender for worst dad in BL), Haruto comes home and finally comes clean about the last of his secrets with encouragement from Shiba. His backstory is just as sad and horrifying as expected, and all the details of how he approached Shiba come together seamlessly now that we know he's been seeking help to avenge his mom this whole time. As a cherry on top, Shiba's bestie backs him up with the boss, and now the whole squad is geared up to take that man down.

Love in the Air Koi

CW: abuse, intimate partner violence, sexual assault

This week we transitioned from Arashi and Rei's happy coupledom to the beginning of Kai and Fuma's love story, with the flashback to their first encounter and an efficient presentation of Kai's harrowing backstory. I appreciate that this show did not flinch away from the ugliness of Kai's history, but also didn't dwell unnecessarily in the trauma. I am also noting the absence of the first kidnapping plot from the original drama--I assume this version will be combining Rei and Kai's abductions into one event toward the end of the show, which for me is an extremely welcome change. Nagatsuma Reo is really solid in portraying Kai's trauma and the intentional distance he keeps in his relationships and the fear and tension warring with his interest in Fuma was well done. Looking forward to their story.

The Fragrance You Inherit

In this episode Sakura and Mone got the chance to reconnect and Sakura finally told her story. It's sad as hell that her devastation over Mone led her to a dubious encounter with a man she doesn't know or like, but at the same time it gave her Toki, who is clearly her great joy in life. I'm happy that she got to raise him with the support of a good friend in Ryosuke, if not a partner. Speaking of Toki, it's now clear that he knows about his mom's feeling for Mone, and he is feeling her out to see what she might be willing to tell him. I'm sure he's having a lot of complex feelings, but I didn't get the sense that he's angry with his mother or concerned about his own relationship as much as he is sad that Sakura has kept this huge part of who she is a secret from him. Sakura wants to shield him from things he already understands, and she's too caught up in her own past trauma to recognize that the very fact of queer people existing will not come as a shock to her son. I love that the show seems poised to tackle that generational culture aspect of this conflict alongside the interpersonal dynamics. You can find the show here, with big thanks as always to @isaksbestpillow for providing English subs.

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

This is a stream of consciousness type of post and I don’t even know where it’s going but there’s all this Lover talk on the dash and I love Lover with all my heart because a) she’s got hit after hit and b) she got me through a really tough time in the fall of 2019 and for that I’m going to always be grateful.

The idea that it lacks “narrative” is so interesting to me because a) I’m not sure I see it that way but b) I don’t think albums necessarily “need” a narrative, and I don’t know that I hear that that much about any artist other than Taylor, unless the artists specifically talks about a narrative or concept for the album.

I guess I just see Lover as a very specific snapshot in time, and to me *that* is a narrative in itself. If Midnights is about the things that keep you up at night, I think Lover in a lot of ways is about the things you contemplate in quiet moments.

Or maybe more accurately, it’s a glimpse into a person on the precipice of a new beginning, and reflecting on some internal and external pressures that will impact that future.

The episode you thought would kill you, but somehow you survived and made it to this exact moment (IFTYE). The moment you realized you wanted something more— and so did your lover (Cruel Summer). Realizing you’ve made a home of your very own together, against all odds (Lover). Wondering why you’re climbing uphill even when you should already be at the top— and does the treadmill ever end (The Man). Worrying about if your past is going to prevent you from claiming your future (The Archer). Basking in the rush of new love (and lust) (ITHK). Fearing the future before you that’s out of your hands and grabbing onto the good to fight for it (Miss Americana). Being excited for what the future holds for you that’s so close you can taste it (Paper Rings). The moment that could have ended something special and instead led to you cementing your future (Cornelia Street). The fear of losing it all (DBATC). The sweet moments that make up a shared life that has become a shared future (London Boy). Confronting death and anticipatory grief that gives you the final push into adulthood, at war with the lost vestiges of your youth hanging onto childlike naivety (SYGB). Clinging to the one thing that grounds you when everything else seems to crumble around you (False God). Being fed up with others’ assumptions and reactions (YNTCD). Reconnecting after a troubling time and finding comfort in that (Afterglow). Recognizing that what you think is sometimes your biggest enemy (you) is also your biggest asset (you) (Me!). Quietly basking in the comfort of home and the future it represents (INTHAF). Overcoming your obstacles to find your peace (Daylight).

The undercurrent in all the songs is the tension between past and future, and the different ways that affects how you envision that future. There are pressures from other people, other circumstances, other hands life deals you, other places at war with the pressures from yourself and your past, all coalescing into the future before you.

To me, it’s an album about transitions in some ways too. The transition from youth to adulthood. From innocent to hardened. From scapegoat to hero in your own story. From trauma to healing. Which can be a chaotic, confusing and sorrowful time, but equally one of joy and excitement. The album as a whole just feels like it’s very much someone who’s about to move into a new chapter in their life, and they’re unleashing their diary about what brought them here in this specific moment in time they find themselves in, and the things that are ahead in their future. It’s about the people they want to be in it, the people they want to leave behind, and the people they’re scared they’re going to lose. It’s the prologue to “our coming of age has come and gone.” It’s heady stuff.

It’s not to say Lover is “perfect” or whatever. Yeah, there are a couple of songs I personally don’t reach for very much. But I love it as a project because it just FEELS like this very inflective period in Taylor’s life as an artist and a person.

Just my two cents! 🤷‍♀️

[the-bi-library]

Where Willows Weep by Luna Fiore. Out now!

My review below.

5 stars.

Marisville. A small southern town Jess never wanted to step back into. But life has never been good to Jess, so, here she is. Dragged back to her hometown to tend to her ailing mother.

When Jess finally accepted her reality and tried to find joy by reconnecting to her high school sweetheart, Sam, she learnt, it wouldn't be so easy. Something held on to her. Was it the ghosts of her past or was it the ghastly existence of something else entirely?

When Jess was back into the town and back in her arms, Sam was happy. The town hadn't been kind to her about her transition and hadn't been kind to her loved ones for various reasons. But she could make do till they earned enough to get out of this horrid place.

All was well in their own little bubble till she saw things. Things that led her into finding more horrifying things. Jess wasn't acting herself, her father was hiding something, who was Lottie and who was Jess' grandfather and what did he want?

We go along with them on their journey to find answers to the questions leading to uncovering the unspeakable mystery that is haunting them.

What a roller-coaster ride. I enjoyed every minute of it. The story is engaging. I loved the character-building. The characters are lovable and flawed (not referring to the townsfolk, they were all nasty people who I absolutely despised).

The mystery elements were awesome. I loved how little seeds of horror were planted throughout which bloomed into showing us the whole atrocious cruel truth that lied ahead.

And that final line. It literally gave me chills.

Putting aside the horror and mystery elements, I loved the romance too. What an adorable romance. Finding love amidst the horrors <3 I also love how Sam matched Jess' freak. They both are made for each other. We love slightly (or maybe not so slight) unhinged women 𖹭

Sam never minded being hunted by Jess. She loved it. Craved it. And never once, had she been scared by it.

I got alot of killing eve and the haunting of the bly manor vibes. Loved these bi women.

And the word bisexual was used on page! A win ♡

I enjoyed this book. Thank you to the author for the ARC.

[lotusbl0ck]

Imaginary Love

(Requested?: no) (my first work!) I just finished watching the "IF" movie and it was lowkey amazing and cried. ____________________________________________________________

The hum of New York City life filled the air as taxis honked and people bustled through the streets. Amidst the chaos, you found a rare sanctuary in your small, cozy apartment on the Upper West Side. Your niece, Bea, had recently been through a remarkable journey, one that led her to reconnect with a group of imaginary friends she had once relied on. After helping them reunite with the children they once belonged to, she had introduced you to Calvin, her imaginary friend. Despite the strangeness of his origin, Calvin had a certain charm and an undeniable warmth that drew you in.

Tonight, the city seemed particularly restless. You were in the kitchen, preparing dinner, when the doorbell rang. Wiping your hands on a towel, you hurried to answer it. Standing on the other side was Calvin, his usually bright demeanor overshadowed by a look of uncertainty and sadness.

"Calvin, come in," you said, stepping aside to let him enter.

"Thanks, Y/N," he replied, his voice tinged with weariness. He moved past you and into the living room, glancing around as if seeking comfort in the familiar space.

"Are you alright?" you asked, following him and taking a seat on the couch.

He sat down next to you, running a hand through his hair. "I don't know, Y/N. It's just… everything's changed so much. All of us are trying to find our place in a world that doesn't quite understand us."

You reached out, placing a reassuring hand on his arm. "It's a lot to process, I know. But you're not alone in this. Bea and I are here for you."

Calvin looked at you, his eyes softening. "I appreciate that more than you know. But sometimes, I feel like I’m a relic of a past that everyone else has moved on from. Like I don’t belong anywhere."

Your heart ached at his words. Despite his vibrant personality, it was clear that he was struggling with his sense of identity and purpose. You shifted closer, wrapping your arms around him in a comforting embrace. "You belong, Calvin. You have a place here, with us."

He hugged you back, holding on a little tighter than usual. "Thanks, Y/N. You always know how to make me feel better."

As you pulled back, you noticed the hint of a smile returning to his face. "How about we finish dinner together? Cooking always seems to help clear the mind."

Calvin nodded, a flicker of his usual enthusiasm returning. "Sounds like a plan."

The two of you moved to the kitchen, working side by side to prepare the meal. The rhythmic chopping of vegetables and the sizzling of the pan provided a soothing backdrop to your conversation. You talked about lighter topics, sharing stories and laughter, gradually lifting the heavy mood that had settled earlier.

By the time dinner was ready, Calvin seemed more at ease. You both sat down at the table, the delicious aroma of your cooking filling the room. As you ate, you couldn't help but admire the resilience and strength that Calvin possessed. Despite his uncertainties, he continued to push forward, finding joy in the simple moments.

"Y/N, I never got to thank you properly for everything you've done," Calvin said suddenly, breaking the comfortable silence.

You looked up, meeting his sincere gaze. "You don't have to thank me, Calvin. We're friends, and friends look out for each other."

He reached across the table, taking your hand in his. "Still, it means a lot. More than I can put into words."

His touch was warm, his grip gentle yet reassuring. You squeezed his hand in return, feeling a surge of affection for the man who had become such an integral part of your life. "You're important to me, Calvin. Never doubt that."

The rest of the evening passed in a blur of warmth and contentment. After dinner, you and Calvin curled up on the couch, watching an old movie and talking about everything and nothing. It was in these quiet, shared moments that the bond between you grew stronger, a testament to the connection that transcended the ordinary.

As the night drew to a close, Calvin stood up to leave. You walked him to the door, the cool night air rushing in as you opened it.

"Thanks for tonight, Y/N. I really needed it," he said, his voice soft and filled with gratitude.

"Anytime, Calvin. You know where to find me," you replied, smiling warmly.

He hesitated for a moment, then leaned in to press a gentle kiss to your forehead. "Goodnight, Y/N."

"Goodnight, Calvin," you whispered, watching as he walked down the hall and disappeared into the elevator.

Closing the door, you felt a sense of peace settle over you. Life in New York was hectic, unpredictable, and sometimes overwhelming, but with Calvin by your side, you knew you could face whatever challenges lay ahead. As you prepared for bed, you couldn't help but look forward to the days to come, filled with the promise of new memories and the unwavering support of a friend who had become so much more. (You can see imaginary friends just like Bea :D ) lotusbl0ck, signing off!

[wanderingmind867]

Listening to Christmas music today, remembering my mom's birthday was on christmas, and thinking of my own issues led me to end up writing a 10 page outline for a Mr. Freeze miniseries involving a lot of personal connections to stuff i feel like i've gone through (also, the phantom stranger ends up playing an important role). So here's what I wrote:

In reference to the Twelve Days of Christmas, we'd have a 12 (possibly 14, if I do a prologue and epilogue) Issue Mini-Series about Mister Freeze on Christmas. It's a story all about him, in fact. While Batman's away from Gotham, Victor Fries escapes from Arkham only to find that someone stole Nora away from him, and left him a note: If Victor doesn't find her within 12 days, she'll die.

This story would explain everything about Victor Fries: His childhood, how he met Nora, how she got Cancer, how he became Mr. Freeze, etc. We'd also address some big unanswered questions, like: did Victor and Nora have any siblings or living parents? What happened to them? What was Nora's childhood like? All of these questions would be answered. The story is a story of Victor Fries in the present, but it's just as much a big biography of the lives of Victor and Nora Fries.

The story would be arranged in 14 parts; a prologue, an epilogue and 12 chapters in between. On his quest, Victor Fries ends up helping people, reconnecting with his and nora's family, and rediscovering the joy of christmas. Grief counseling through trauma, in a way. But the story would feature as many characters as I can fit in it: The Phantom Stranger, The Spectre, Superman, Captain Cold, Captain Marvel/Shazam, Batman's Rogues Gallery (pretty much all of them), etc. It's a big story, with long chapters.

But since I know I'll probably forget it if I don't write it down now, let me reveal the real villain of this story. The one responsible for kidnapping Nora and blackmailing Victor is… Ferris Boyle, with an assist from Nora's vindictive mother. Ferris Boyle lost all of his money after Victor's story made it to the presses. Gothcorp went bankrupt, and Ferris lost everything. His brain couldn't cope with that, and he swore revenge on Victor. He then found an eager accomplice in Nora's mother, a vindictive and judgemental woman who always felt hated her daughter (yet who also felt Nora was too good for Victor). She blamed him for Nora developing Cancer, and she eagerly agreed to team up with Ferris Boyle.

For 12 days, they lead Victor on a wild goose chase across the country, until he finally manages to confront them back where it all began: in the wreckage of the old house where him and Nora lived together. Seeing what Ferris Boyle is trying to do to him (and that Nora's mother is still trying to take her daughter away from him, when he knows how she treated her), Victor snaps.

In the chaos of the fight in the wreckage, Nora's cryo-chamber breaks. The shrapnel shoots into all three of them. Ferris Boyle is impaled on a chunk of glass shortly after talking about how love is fleeting, while money is everything. Victor's suit breaks, meaning his life is now in danger. And Nora's mom got a chunk of metal caught in her leg. Victor cradles Nora's body, and he just cries, knowing it's hopeless. He has no time to build a new cryo-chamber and save her. It's all over…

And that's when the miracle of Christmas comes into play. The Phantom Stranger appears, and he promises to get Nora safely to a hospital. Victor gently passes her over, and the Stranger begins his walk to a hospital. Meanwhile, Victor has to deal with the injured form of Nora's mother, and the dead body of Ferris Boyle. Knowing that Nora's mom doesn't deserve to die in agony (even if she is a horrible person), he bandages her injuries and trudges off in the snow towards The Phantom Stranger. But the twist: Boyle isn't dead yet; he's merely dying of blood loss. But he trails them too.

At the hospital, Victor and The Phantom Stranger succesfully get Nora back into a cryo-chamber, and then get her mother into a hospital bed. The Stranger vows to look after them, while Victor goes for a walk. Victor goes to sit in the snow outside and think, and that's when a dying Ferris Boyle ambushes him. Pulling the shrapnel out of his chest, he uses it like a knife and tries to stab Victor. He misses, but he keeps trying to fight. He mumbles incoherently about how Victor took everything from him, only for Victor to snap and punch him in the face. And that punch was the finishing touch. Ferris Boyle finally dies, his broken body falling into the snowbank…

And now, for a somewhat happy ending to this story (and something that just feels religious enough to work in a christmas story): Victor hears crying near Ferris's body. Trudging over to it, he finds a baby in the snow, clearly abandoned by his mother. Seeing this as a sign (him and nora could never have kids, and christmas day was nora's birthday), victor takes the child in as his own. And then our epilogue would show Victor finally reconciling with as many of his and nora's family as he can, and then him having a big christmas gathering with all the people who helped him during this twelve day quest.

Then, when he's finally alone, he cradles the baby in his arms and tenderly talks to a photo of Nora. He'll never stop working on a cure for her, but these twelve nights have felt like a sign. A sign he needs to try and stop living in his past, in isolation and loneliness. And he's going to try to fix this, for Nora's sake. She'd want him to do it, for himself if nothing else. And as he cradles the child and rocks them to sleep, The Phantom Stranger watches over it all from the shadows…

[catch-me-hello]

Nothing guilty about it.

Yesterday morning, while I was getting ready for work, I re-watched the 1980 movie Xanadu on my phone, and I felt happy and hopeful for the first time in months. 

I saw Xanadu in the theater when it first came out, and       I was absolutely enthralled.  I was about 12 years old, and   I bought the soundtrack and played it a million times.  It was such a magical, uplifting experience. 

I was kind of bummed when it went on to become a critically panned box office failure that led to the creation of The Razzies, the snarky awards ceremony for bad movies.

I think seeing Xanadu at age 12 was a significant event in my life, when I started letting sarcasm and cynicism make me feel ashamed of the things that made me happy.  Loving something means opening your heart to it, and when you open your heart, you become vulnerable to mockery.  I’ve been calling Xanadu my “guilty pleasure” for years instead of calling it what it really is – a movie that makes me happy and hopeful, despite the parts of it that I now see as cringe.  Yes, I agree with the Redditor who called it “Cocaine: The Movie,” because some of the creative decisions are downright bewildering, but I still love it with all my heart.

After watching it again yesterday morning, I felt happier at work.  I know I sounded better and more patient and positive with my co-workers.  If the media I love makes me so happy, why don’t I consume more of it, even if the rest of the world mocks it?  During my lunchtime power walk, I listened to the Xanadu soundtrack again.  I felt lighter.  I felt like I had reconnected to the magic I used to feel when I was a child.

I remember telling someone once that if I were to ever remake my all-time favorite movie, 1987’s Moonstruck, I wouldn’t change a thing.  It’s perfect the way it is, so there really isn’t a point to remaking it.  But what if I had the chance to remake Xanadu? 

I wouldn’t change a lot.  So much of it is wonderful the way it is.  But I would change a few things.  I’m going to present this as something I would change, followed by something I love. 

For starters in the things I would change, I’d re-cast the role of Kira.  I can already hear the howls of protest from other Xanadu fans.  I’m sorry, my fellow fans, but I have to be honest.  And I’m sorry, Olivia Newton-John.  I truly love your singing, but you played the centuries-old muse with too much wide-eyed innocence.   

ONJ’s Kira even speaks in a childlike voice and is amazed by everything, giving the impression that she was just born yesterday and shouldn’t be allowed outside without adult supervision.  That’s why I get kind of creeped out when she has romantic scenes with Michael Beck.  It feels a bit inappropriate. 

I could imagine a 1980s Demi Moore or Kim Cattrall playing Kira.  Someone who could bring a bit maturity and maybe a touch of world-weariness to the role, which would make her falling in love with a human for the first time more significant.  I find it hard to believe that ONJ’s Kira has never been in love before.  She comes across as someone who falls breathlessly in love with every human she comes across, cries over a broken heart when she has to leave them, and then forgets all about it when she falls in love again.

Now for something I love.  It’s the first musical sequence when the painted mural of muses comes to life, dancing to ELO’s “I’m Alive.”  This sequence took my breath away when I first saw it in the theater. It was the most beautiful, magical thing I had ever seen, and the song is still one of my favorites from ELO.  I would not change a thing about this.  The dancing, the costumes, the music, the joy of it all.  I’d keep it exactly the way it is. 

Next up, something I would change.  The roller skating.  I know that roller skating was a huge thing when Xanadu came out.  I owned a pair of roller skates and loved going to roller rinks.  And even then, I knew the whole skating thing was weird in this movie.  Everyone skates everywhere.  Watching this movie gave me the impression that roller skating was the primary mode of transportation in California in the early 80s. 

I also couldn’t help worrying about the potential injury of it all.  When Sonny needs a lift across town, he grabs the back of a van and rolls along behind.  The Xanadu nightclub opens with everyone on skates, which is the biggest potential class action injury lawsuit I’ve ever seen.  That nightclub would have been shut down by OSHA in less than a week.  Which brings me to something I would change about the character of Sonny Malone, but first I have to name something else I loved about the movie and would keep.

The next thing I would keep is also one of the dance sequences.  (For the record, I would keep every song on the soundtrack.)  This scene comes about midway through the movie, when Sonny Malone and Danny McGuire are imagining what Xanadu is going to look like.  And when people say that this movie was brought to you by cocaine, I’m pretty sure this is one of the scenes they’re talking about.  Consider how eye-poppingly and brain-fryingly high you have to be to come up with this idea for a musical sequence:

It's a duet.  One part is sung by ONJ, who is fronting a 1940s-era big band and singing a bluesy ragtime song while surrounded by swing dancers.  The other part is a frenzied 80s rock song sung by The Tubes.  You remember The Tubes.  The insane art school band that brought us such classic hits as “White Punks on Dope” and “Mondo Bondage.”  Yeah.  The Tubes and Olivia Newton-John.  Two artists you wouldn’t expect to find on the same planet, much less on the same stage.

And it is fucking fantastic. 

I love every glorious, batshit crazy moment of this musical number.  Hearing it on the soundtrack is great, but you really have to see it onscreen.  And this brilliantly bizarre performance, presented as a daydream being imagined by two of our lead characters, is what makes these two characters decide that building this nightclub is a GREAT IDEA and they need to do it RIGHT NOW.   Ah, cocaine. 

Moving on.  Something I would change would be Sonny Malone’s lack of common sense.  He’s a very talented painter who wants desperately to get out of his paint-by-numbers job and do his own thing.  But he doesn’t understand the concept of a side hustle.

In the opening scene, we watch him painting still lifes and portraits and getting frustrated, tearing up each attempt and trying again.  He finally says, “Guys like me shouldn’t dream anyway,” and crawls back to the art studio to beg for his job back.  He complains to his co-workers that he was unable to make a living on his own as an artist.  Which begs the question, why didn’t you try selling your art on the side until you had made a name for yourself and started making money and THEN quit your job?

But that’s not even the part I would change.  Later on, when he and Danny are building Xanadu, he breezes in to the studio late, insults his boss, quits on the spot, and joyously stuts out the door, yelling over his shoulder that his co-workers are all invited to the grand opening of his new nightclub, and drinks are on the house.  The club hasn’t made a single dime yet, and he’s already burning his bridges and promising free drinks.  We’re supposed to see him as the artistic hero and cheer his long-desired exit, but I never could.  Even at twelve years old, I remember thinking, this guy is kind of stupid. 

In fact, this could have been done so much better.  Keep the original opening scene where he couldn’t make it on his own and has to crawl back.  Then have him open Xanadu on the side, and once it becomes a huge success, finally digging its way out of the financial hole from giving away drinks and paying for all the roller skate-related injuries and structural damage caused by The Tubes, he could invite his boss and co-workers to the club.  The boss would see how his employee finally realized his dreams and wish him well, maybe even offer to invest in the club or build a giant medical tent in the parking lot.  Sonny would show gratitude to the boss for keeping him employed while he chased his dream, and the boss would see that dreams really can come true, which is the whole message of the movie.  It would have been perfect.

But no.  When Sonny flees the art studio for the last time, his angry and frustrated boss slams his hand down on a palette and gets paint all over himself.  We’re supposed to find this funny.  I just feel bad for him.  I felt bad for him at age twelve. 

Now for something I love, which is the casting of the two male leads.  I love Michael Beck as Sonny Malone.  Andy Gibb was originally cast for the part, but he had to drop out due to his drug problem, so they hired Michael Beck because of how much he looks like Andy Gibb.  I mean, I just can’t un-see it.

Poor Andy.  I would have loved to see him play Sonny Malone, but Michael Beck is a charming, handsome substitute, even if he’s not the best actor.

I also love that Gene Kelly is in this, playing Danny McGuire.  Xanadu was the last movie Gene Kelly did before he passed away, and I really hope that the bad reviews didn’t bring him down.   He was so dashing and playful, and I love the tapdancing scene he does with ONJ early in the movie.  I hope that he was proud of his performance until the very end of his life.  He deserved to be.  No matter what the Razzies had to say.

Now for something I would change.  I understand that the movie needed a sequence to put behind the ELO song “Don’t Walk Away,” but if the filmmakers had put down the cocaine for just ten minutes, I’m sure they would have stopped themselves before picking up the phone and calling Don Bluth.  I mean, just … what the hell is this?

The less said about this the better.

Now for something I love.  There’s a great moment when Kira is trying to explain to Sonny that she’s not human, and she can’t be in love with him because she’s a muse.  Sonny thinks she’s just being silly, but then she picks up a dictionary and tells him to look up the meaning of “muse.” 

Sonny looks up from the dictionary and stares at Kira, stunned, and then she turns on the TV.  A gangster movie appears on the screen, and the actors break the fourth wall and take Kira’s side.

This is just so clever and funny.

Okay, just one more of each, before this goes into a hundred pages.  And it could.

Something I would change is the way this movie portrays Mount Olympus.  Kira leaves Sonny and returns to the afterworld.  Sonny roller-skates around Venice Beach, trying to find her, and then he figures out that he needs to break through the mural we saw at the beginning of the movie, which is a portal to Mount Olympus.  He builds up speed, slams into the painting, and then, finally, this incredible other world is revealed …

Well.  That’s disappointing. 

Sonny and Kira talk to each other across the celestial Studio 54 dance floor. We don’t get to see Zeus and Hera, but we hear them as they argue with this recently unemployed painter and aspiring nightclub owner in gym shorts and roller skates who is asking to date their daughter.  I am not at all surprised when they deny his request and kick him out the door. 

It really is surprising that they couldn’t make Mount Olympus look better than this.  The filmmakers had all kinds of money for the Tubes performance, the Don Bluth animation, and a metric ton of cocaine, but when it came to showing the mythical world of gods and goddesses, they were like, nah, nobody wants to see that, it’s not like this is a fantasy movie called Xanadu.

Okay.  Now for the thing that I love most about this movie, just barely edging out the “I’m Alive” dance sequence at the beginning of the movie for the Number One spot.  It is, of course, when ONJ sings the title song in the nightclub of the same name.  It’s opening night at Xanadu, and Zeus and Hera have relented and allowed Kira to return to see it.  She takes the stage in a bunch of different outfits, singing country and rock and jazz songs, and honestly, it’s kind of a huge mess.  But then, finally, she stands on a pillar in the middle of the stage in that gorgeous dress and sings the theme song.  It’s so emotional for me, because she’s not just singing a celebration of a dream come true, but she’s also saying goodbye to Sonny.  As she hits the final notes of the song, she flies up into the heavens, back to Mount Olympus, and it’s exciting and heartbreaking and just amazing.

I remember crying in the theater when she disappeared.  Part of it was because Sonny was losing her forever, but it was also the emotional intensity of it all.  I felt overwhelmed by it. 

We didn’t have the internet or steaming services back then, and another reason I was crying is because I thought I’d never get a chance to see the movie ever again.  That’s why it meant so much to me when I was able to buy it on Amazon Prime.  But because I still felt a little embarrassed about loving this movie that the world has rejected, I didn’t watch it for a long time.

I’m glad I watched it yesterday, and I’m also glad that I learned I’m not the only one who loves it unironically.  I did some web searching and found the Xanadu Preservation Society, founded in 1999. 

I also found Reddit posts and a Facebook fan club.  Xanadu has been turned into a Broadway play.  There are plenty of us out there who refuse to call it a guilty pleasure.  It’s one of our favorite movies.

Watching Xanadu made me feel happy after a really rough year.  I really need media like that right now.  I’m going to spend time consuming the movies and TV shows and music that heal my soul, no matter how cringe they may be.

Tomorrow, I might get back to my Barry Manilow playlist. 

[ohitsfabbb]

✨️Personal Post Time✨️

Growing up, things weren't always easy or beautiful. But from the youngest age I can remember, I tried my best to grow towards the light in my life and not get lost in the chaos & pain of being raised by broken people plugging up their wounds with addiction & denial.

I left as soon as I could and rarely looked back. I fell into messy, beautiful relationships and communities that sustained me and scared me and carried me through. I fell into my work, I lived & breathed it deeply every day. I was so young but I took it so seriously, having purpose and something to be good at didn't just feel good, it felt deeply right. Who figures out their career path as a bb 18 yr old? With so much certainty? I guess I did 🫠

That's me in the picture with my first group of kids. The ones who left permanent little handprints all over my heart. I grew and learned so much with them. They molded me and encouraged me and kept me shining toward the light. They kept me on my path, which led to other beautiful groups of kids tucked away in "welcome rooms", after school programs, free summer lunch programs, community centers, neglected corners of underfunded schools and finally a crowded chaotic donation room doubling as a classroom in a family homeless shelter.

Diving into fast-paced, high energy, traumatizing af work is an addiction in itself. It asks so much of you every day and gives very little back. If you don't learn to prioritize caring for yourself, it can burn you alive from the inside out. At 30, my body collapsed with the weight of all the trauma I pushed down and I traded my beloved career for a new life living with chronic illness.

The next few years that followed were so full of pain I barely remember them. I missed out on so much, my world became so small, I still can't believe I survived it, but I did. And here I am - reconnecting to all the parts of myself I thought were lost, reclaiming joy & pleasure wherever I can, moving forward and embracing the life I have and not ruminating on the life that could have been.

Being a mother in this lifetime was not in the cards for me. And sometimes that brings me twinges of grief and longing, but mostly it makes me feel proud & happy to live my unique path. My heart is out here shining nurturing lil pink beams for everyone who needs them. My mother energy was meant for the whole world, and I'm so excited to watch how it evolves and manifests as I continue to grow, heal, and keep stepping into the light.

No matter what your relationship to mothering or the mother figures in your life is like, I'm sending you so much love & peace today. It's okay if things hurt or feel messy, I promise pain & mess don't last forever! And you may even find moments (like I have) where you feel grateful for all the growth they brought you 💖

[madamelaydebug]

Beltane: The Fire Between the Worlds

When the Earth tilts toward the Sun and the air hums with wildflowers, we cross a sacred threshold—Beltane. Rooted in ancient Celtic fire rites, Beltane is not just a seasonal festival; it’s a portal, a cosmic ignition, a reminder that all life begins with fire, with union, with the return of light to the darkened soil.

Beltane—from the old Gaelic “Bright Fire”—was once celebrated with blazing bonfires, dances around the Maypole, and midnight rites under the stars. But behind the folklore lives a truth far older than any calendar: this is the moment when the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine reunite—in body, in spirit, in cosmos.

It is the great sacred marriage—not just of man and woman, but of sun and earth, soul and flesh, intention and action.

⸻

The Fire That Transforms

Our ancestors didn’t fear fire. They walked between the flames to be cleansed, healed, and reborn. They led their cattle through smoke not out of superstition, but in recognition that the veil was thin—and all things were being touched by Spirit.

Today, Beltane invites us to walk through that same fire.

Not literal flames—but the inner fire:

• The one that asks you to burn what no longer serves.

• The one that dares you to reclaim your voice.

• The one that reminds you your body is not a sin, but a sanctuary.

This is not a tame holiday. This is sacred rebellion masked in flowers.

⸻

The Return of the Feminine Flame

At Beltane, the May Queen rises. She is the Earth in full bloom. She is Magdalene unashamed. She is the wild woman, the cosmic mother, the divine daughter who never needed permission to dance barefoot in the forest.

The Green Man, her counterpart, is not her master but her mirror. Their sacred union is not about control—it is about co-creation, a cosmic choreography that blesses the land, the womb, the heart.

In a world built on disconnection, Beltane rethreads the loom of love.

⸻

Rituals for the Brave and Blooming

Beltane isn’t just for the mystics or the moon-gazers. It’s for anyone ready to:

• Reignite joy

• Reclaim the body

• Reconnect with purpose

Light a fire (or a single candle). Braid flowers into your hair. Dance in your kitchen. Write a love letter to your younger self. Say a prayer for the women who silenced themselves to survive. Then say one louder for the one in you who is ready to rise.

⸻

We Are the Fire Keepers Now

We don’t need to resurrect the old ways. We are the continuation of them. We are the flame-bearers, the storytellers, the midwives of new worlds. Every time we choose joy, or truth, or love without shame—we stoke the ancient Beltane fire.

Let it burn.

Let it bless.

Let it remind you: you are not separate from the seasons. You are the season.

SandraD

[ghoulelegy]

In The Breeze Of The Autumn Leaves - I sacrifice myself to you (Halloween Special)

Thank you @jimothybarnes, @em0bussy, @creatura-theanarchist, @sacred-coffin and @everybodyshusband for all the wonderful support you've shown <3333 On the eve of Samhain, you prepare for the ghoul ball, choosing a flowing black cloak and a blouse that embody your dark academia aesthetic while hinting at your transformation. When Copia invites you to the abbey’s garden, you embrace the opportunity to reconnect, and together you step into the vibrant atmosphere of the ball… Words: About 10k Rating: Explicit - There is smut in this chapter Read here or on AO3

The days leading up to October 31st felt like a dream caught between reality and the ethereal. Each morning greeted you with the crisp air of autumn, the vibrant colours of the season serving as a reminder of life’s transient beauty. Yet, beneath the surface, a storm brewed within you—a clash of your growing ghoul nature and the weight of loneliness that often accompanied it. You spent countless hours in the library, surrounded by ancient tomes and whispered knowledge. Yet the words seemed to blur as your thoughts drifted to your true self. The strange sensations continued to haunt you—brief flickers of a tail, the sharpness of your senses, and the persistent hunger for something just beyond your reach.

The once comforting world of academia now felt like a maze, one that led you deeper into confusion rather than clarity. One evening, as rain tapped against your window, you found yourself drawn to the tarot shop again. The owner, with her knowing eyes, shuffled her cards as if divining your future. “You are on the brink of transformation,” she said, her voice smooth and mysterious. “Embrace it, and you will find your place.” The cryptic advice lingered in your mind, offering both hope and fear in equal measure. Classes passed in a blur of assignments and restless nights. You struggled to keep up, your professors’ growing impatience gnawing at your already frayed nerves. Each day felt like a balancing act—trying to blend in with your peers while grappling with the reality of your identity. Your classmates buzzed with excitement about Halloween parties, costumes, and traditions, but you felt like a ghost among them, caught between two worlds.

In quieter moments, you reflected on your connection with Copia. His presence had become a balm for your anxious thoughts, yet you hesitated to reach out. He was busy, preoccupied with his own responsibilities. You worried that your struggles would only add to his burdens. The distance felt insurmountable, amplifying the loneliness that clung to you like a shadow. Juno, with her boundless energy, became your only solace. Long walks through the colourful leaves provided brief escapes from your spiralling thoughts. As she bounded through the foliage, you tried to remind yourself of the joy in those fleeting moments, but the weight of what you were becoming loomed large.

The eve of Samhain arrived, and the campus transformed into a haunted landscape—decorations that once felt festive now seemed to taunt you. The weight of expectation pressed heavily on your shoulders, and a sense of dread coiled in your stomach.

You knew the ghoul ball awaited, but part of you felt terrified at the idea of stepping into a world that might expose your true self. After walking Juno, you returned to your room and stood before your closet, rifling through your clothes. You needed an outfit that embodied your dark academia aesthetic—rich fabrics, deep hues, and a sense of mystery. But it also had to reflect the changes brewing inside you, the growing awareness of your ghoul nature.

As you sifted through your garments, a particular piece caught your eye: a long, flowing black cloak with intricate silver embroidery along the edges. It draped elegantly, a perfect blend of elegance and haunting enigma. You could imagine it swirling around you as you moved through the crowd at the ball. Next, you rummaged for a top to wear beneath the cloak. You settled on a fitted, high-collared blouse in a deep orange that complemented the cloak. The colour made your skin glow softly, and you admired how it seemed to enhance your features. But there was something missing—a detail that would hint at your ghoul nature without revealing everything. You reached for a pair of vintage gloves, their lace delicate and slightly tattered at the edges. Sliding them on, you felt a sense of transformation beginning to take hold.

As you dressed, the familiar loneliness crept back in. You pulled out your phone, scrolling through messages, but the conversations felt flat, lacking the depth you craved. You missed the lightness in Copia’s voice, the way he could brighten your darkest thoughts.

This could be the night when things shifted, when you could break through the loneliness that had shadowed you for days. Finally, you glanced at the mirror, trying to envision the complete look. It felt incomplete. You had a fleeting thought of incorporating something more daring—a hidden accessory that would subtly signify your transformation. After some deliberation, you decided to make a simple addition: a small charm that resembled a tail, tucked discreetly under the cloak’s hem. Once fully dressed, you stood before the mirror, allowing yourself a moment to breathe.

You looked different—more confident, yet vulnerable. The layers of your costume mirrored the layers of your identity: a student, a ghoul in the making, and someone searching for their place in a world that felt increasingly complicated. Juno seemed to sense your introspection. She trotted over, nuzzling against your leg, grounding you in the moment.

 You reached down to scratch behind her ears, a small smile breaking through your anxiety.

And then your phone bleeped.

I actually have a bit of time before the gathering. Want to meet up at the abbey’s garden? – C  

A wave of relief washed over you. You quickly confirmed your meeting, and felt a newfound excitement bubbling within you. This was a chance to share your thoughts with Copia, to bridge the gap between the ghoulish uncertainty and the connection you felt with him.

“Let’s go, Juno,” you said, your voice steadying with purpose. With a quick glance back at the group, you made your way toward the abbey, the path illuminated by the silvery glow of the moon.

As you approached the familiar stone structure, the garden came into view, draped in shadows but still radiating a certain warmth. You could almost sense the energy of the place, a combination of the earth’s magic and the lingering presence of past gatherings. The scent of damp earth and blooming nightflowers filled the air, mingling with your anticipation.

As you stepped into the garden, the moonlight cast a silvery glow over the cobblestones, and you felt a sense of calm wash over you. The weight of your loneliness lifted slightly, replaced by the thrill of being close to Copia again. You spotted him leaning against a stone wall, his dark cloak flowing elegantly around him. He looked up as you approached, a soft smile breaking across his face that sent a flutter through your chest.

“You made it!” he exclaimed, his eyes sparkling with warmth.

“Thanks for inviting me,” you replied, your voice steadier than you felt. “I almost didn’t come.”

Copia stepped closer, his expression turning serious for a moment. “I’m glad you did. I’ve missed you. I know things have been... different lately.”

His words struck a chord deep within you. The distance you both felt was palpable, and yet here he was, bridging that gap.

“Yeah, it’s been a lot to handle. I’ve been feeling... lonely, I guess.”

He nodded, his brow furrowing slightly. “I understand. I’ve been feeling a bit distant myself, caught up in everything happening with my brother and the preparations for tonight.”

You appreciated his honesty; it reminded you that you weren’t alone in your struggles.

“It’s hard to balance everything, isn’t it? School, work, and... all of this.” You gestured vaguely, indicating the world of ghouls and the unseen magic surrounding you.

Copia chuckled softly, the sound resonating in the stillness of the garden. “Definitely. But tonight is a chance for us to connect, to celebrate, and maybe let go of some of that weight, even if just for a while.”

His words resonated within you, igniting a flicker of hope.

“I’d like that,” you admitted, feeling the tension in your shoulders ease a little.

“Let’s make the most of it,” he suggested, offering you his arm with a playful bow. “Shall we?”

As you walked together, the connection between you felt electric, pulsing with unspoken understanding. Juno trotted happily beside you, her tail wagging as if sensing the shift in energy.

“I love your outfit, by the way,” Copia said, glancing at your cloak. “It suits you perfectly.”

A blush crept up your cheeks. “Thanks! I wanted it to reflect... everything I’m going through. The layers of it, I guess.”

Copia’s gaze turned thoughtful, a hint of curiosity flickering in his eyes. “I can see that. It’s beautiful, just like you.”

You felt your heart skip a beat at his words.

“You always know what to say to make me feel better.”

He smiled, a mix of mischief and sincerity in his expression. “That’s my job, isn’t it?”

As the two of you stepped out of the garden and into the main venue of the ball, the atmosphere enveloped you both—laughter and music swirling around, lights dancing like fireflies in the night. You took a deep breath, the energy of the gathering stirring something deep inside you. Yet, even amidst the festive chaos, a flicker of anxiety danced at the edges of your mind. How would you navigate this realm of celebration while feeling so disconnected from the world? The tension you had carried for days threatened to resurface as the crowd surged around you.

Copia sensed your hesitation, his hand gently brushing against yours, anchoring you in the moment.

“Hey, it’s okay. Just be yourself. We’re here together, and that’s what matters.”

His words wrapped around you like a warm embrace, and you took a steadying breath. “You’re right. I just need to focus on the moment.”

The ballroom was alive, a kaleidoscope of colors and laughter. Ghouls mingled, their costumes a mix of the grotesque and the enchanting, creating an atmosphere that felt both surreal and magical. You spotted a group of friends nearby, their vibrant costumes drawing your attention. For a moment, you allowed yourself to be swept up in the excitement, the music pulsing like a heartbeat around you.

Copia led you further into the throng, weaving through the crowd with an ease that made you feel safe. The music resonated deep within you, and you felt the rhythm pull you in, beckoning you to join the dance.

“Come on,” he said, his smile infectious. “Let’s dance!”

With that, he pulled you onto the makeshift dance floor, and for a moment, the world faded away. As you twirled under the soft glow of the chandeliers, you let go of your worries, surrendering to the magic of the night. The music wrapped around you, lifting your spirits and allowing your ghoul nature to emerge without fear. Copia’s laughter was a melody of its own, harmonizing with the music as he spun you around. You could feel your body responding to the beat, the movements becoming a dance of release and joy.

It was a moment of connection, of unity, and you felt lighter, as if the weight of your identity had momentarily faded. In that dance, you were no longer just a student caught between two worlds; you were a part of something greater, a living embodiment of the night’s energy. Juno circled around your feet, her playful spirit reflecting the joy you felt.

As the song reached its crescendo, Copia pulled you closer, his voice soft amidst the noise. “You’re amazing,” he whispered, his breath warm against your ear. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

The sincerity in his words ignited a warmth within you, and you met his gaze, feeling a connection that transcended the chaos around you.

“I’m glad I’m here too,” you replied, your heart racing as the distance between you shrank.

As the night unfolded, the initial anxiety began to dissipate, replaced by laughter and shared glances. The two of you moved from the dance floor to the edges of the ballroom, where you found a quieter nook draped in shadows, perfect for a moment of reprieve.

“I can’t believe how alive this place feels,” you said, leaning against the wall, the cool stone grounding you. “It’s like all the spirits of the past are here, celebrating with us.”

Copia nodded, a glimmer of appreciation in his eyes. “It’s true. There’s something magical about Samhain, about connecting with those who came before us. It’s a reminder that we’re part of a larger story.”

You paused, reflecting on his words. “I’ve been feeling so lost lately. Like I don’t belong anywhere.”

Copia tilted his head, his expression shifting to one of concern. “You do belong. You’re not alone in this. I see you, and I know you’re more than your fears. You’re finding your place, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now.”

Taking in the vibrant colours and flickering lights that adorned the hall. Your heart raced, a mix of nervousness and exhilaration flooding through you. Just then, you spotted Omega gliding across the dance floor, his dark gown flowing like liquid night. Terzo twirled him around, both of them laughing as they moved with effortless grace.

“They’re captivating together,” you said, smiling at the sight.

Copia’s gaze followed yours. “They really are. Omega has a way of lighting up the room.”

You took a deep breath, feeling the energy of the gathering seep into your bones. “I want to let go, too. Just for tonight.”

“Then let’s do it!” Copia said, his enthusiasm infectious. “What do you want to do next?”

Before you could respond, Rain appeared at your side, grinning widely. “Hey! You two look like you’re ready to take on the world! Want to join us for a group dance?”

“Absolutely!” you replied, feeling a thrill at the idea of moving together.

Copia took your hand, leading you toward the dance floor, where Aether and Dewdrop were already getting into the spirit of the evening. The music pulsed with energy, and as you joined the circle of friends, you felt your earlier loneliness begin to melt away.

Aether, ever the embodiment of mystery, wore an intricate ensemble inspired by alchemy and the elements. His dark, midnight-blue robe was accented with shimmering silver threads, tracing ancient symbols and constellations along the sleeves and down the back. A belt of metallic charms—small vials, rune-inscribed coins, and tiny glass crystals—jingled softly as he moved. His mask, shaped like a raven’s beak and dusted with silver, framed his intense eyes, lending him an otherworldly presence. His hair was slicked back, casting a sleek, almost regal shadow under the lights, and he carried a staff topped with an amethyst stone that caught the light, illuminating his expression with a magical glow.

Dewdrop, in contrast, was dressed in fiery tones that celebrated his playful yet edgy personality. His costume featured a red-and-black leather vest over a dark, fitted shirt, the fabric stitched with flames that seemed to flicker as he moved. A half-mask made of molded leather gave his face a devilish charm, the eyes outlined in smoky kohl, adding an intense gleam to his gaze. Chains and metal studs adorned his belt and boots, clinking with every step. Around his neck, he wore a choker with a pendant shaped like a serpent, nodding to his rebellious nature. His wild hair, styled to look as if he’d just stepped through a storm, added to the electric energy he brought to the dance floor.

The four of you danced together, letting the rhythm carry you. Rain twirled and spun, their laughter infectious, while Aether’s smooth moves brought an effortless charm to the group. Dewdrop added a playful energy, bouncing around like a firefly.

In the midst of the joyous chaos, you caught a glimpse of Omega and Terzo watching from the edge of the dance floor, their faces lit with smiles. It felt like a scene from a dream, the vibrant colours and laughter swirling around you like a warm embrace

As the night unfolded, you found yourself swept up in the rhythm of the music, the infectious joy of your companions, and the pulsing energy of the ghoul ball. For the first time in what felt like ages, the weight of your loneliness lifted, replaced by a sense of belonging. Here, surrounded by Copia and the others, you weren’t an outsider. You were part of something larger, something magical.

After a particularly lively round of dancing, you found yourselves breathless and laughing, stepping away from the floor to catch your breath. Copia led you to a quieter corner of the hall, away from the main festivities but still close enough to feel the thrum of energy in the air.

“You’re a fantastic dancer,” you complimented, your cheeks flushed from the excitement.

Copia grinned, a hint of pride in his eyes. “I try! But you—you’ve got a natural grace. I could hardly keep up.”

You rolled your eyes playfully, but his words warmed you. There was something about the way Copia looked at you, the way he always managed to make you feel seen, even when you struggled to see yourself. It was that look that had drawn you to him in the first place—the quiet understanding, the unspoken bond that had grown between you over time.

For a moment, the two of you stood in comfortable silence, the distant sound of music and laughter filling the space around you. The night was magical, almost dreamlike, and you felt yourself getting lost in the moment.

“Do you ever think about… what comes next?” you asked suddenly, the question spilling from your lips before you had time to stop it.

Copia tilted his head, his gaze softening. “What do you mean?”

You hesitated, unsure how to put your feelings into words. “I guess I’ve just been thinking a lot about… change. This whole ghoul transformation—it feels like I’m becoming something different, something I don’t fully understand yet. And I don’t know where that leaves me, or… us.”

Copia’s expression grew thoughtful, and for a moment, he didn’t respond. Then, with a gentle smile, he took your hand again, his thumb brushing softly over your knuckles. “Change is scary,” he said, his voice quiet but steady. “But it’s also part of life. We’re all constantly evolving, even if we don’t always realize it. What matters is how we handle that change—whether we let it define us or whether we find a way to embrace it.”

You looked down at your intertwined hands, Copia’s words sinking deep into your heart. He always had a way of making things seem less daunting, of offering perspective when you needed it most.

“And as for us,” he continued, his tone softening even further, “we’ll figure it out together. No matter what happens, I’m here for you. We’re in this together.”

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, but you blinked them away, smiling through the sudden wave of emotion. “Thank you, Copia. I… I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

He smiled warmly, his eyes full of quiet affection. “You’ll never have to find out.”

Before you could say anything more, a familiar voice called out from across the room. Terzo was making his way toward you, his usual flair and charisma on full display as he gestured dramatically.

“Ah, there you two are!” he exclaimed, a playful smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. “You’ve been hiding away in the shadows long enough! Come, join us for a drink. The night is still young, and we’ve barely begun to celebrate!”

You exchanged a quick glance with Copia, both of you laughing at Terzo’s theatrics. With a shared nod, you allowed him to lead you back into the heart of the festivities.

As the night wore on, you found yourself surrounded by warmth, laughter, and a sense of camaraderie that you hadn’t felt in a long time. The weight of your worries, your fears about the transformation, and the loneliness that had plagued you for weeks all seemed to melt away. Here, in this moment, with these people, you felt like you belonged.

At one point, you found yourself standing at the edge of the dance floor, watching as the others continued to laugh and dance. Copia was deep in conversation with Aether and Dewdrop, while Terzo and Omega continued their playful waltz, spinning gracefully under the dim lights.

For the first time in a long while, you felt at peace.

Suddenly, a gentle tap on your shoulder pulled you from your thoughts. You turned to see Rain standing beside you, his eyes gleaming with amusement. “Care for a dance, my dear?”

You blinked in surprise, caught off guard by the offer. But Rain’s smile was warm and inviting, and after a brief hesitation, you nodded. “I’d love to.”

He took your hand with a flourish, leading you gracefully onto the dance floor. The music shifted to a softer, slower melody, and as you moved in time with the rhythm, you couldn’t help but feel a strange sense of contentment. Rain’s movements were smooth and effortless, his grip steady and reassuring.

“You seem lighter,” he observed after a moment, his voice low but kind. “Like a weight’s been lifted.”

“You seem to be quite in tune with my emotions” you chuckled

“Of course, my dear ghoul. I may be new, but I’m not new to the whole ghoul thing, unlike you.”

“Did you really have to point it out?” you smiled, the corners of your lips curling up as you enjoyed the banter. “I suppose you have a point. It’s nice to have someone who understands.”

“Understanding is my specialty,” he replied, his voice dropping to a more serious note. “But I also think it’s about letting go, you know? Just enjoying the moment.”

You nodded, feeling the truth in his words. “I’ve been holding onto a lot lately—worries, responsibilities… even fear about what’s happening with Terzo.”

Rain’s expression softened, and he pulled you a little closer. “Sometimes you have to let that go, even if just for a moment. Dance with me and forget everything else.”

As the music enveloped you both, you let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. The swirling emotions and lingering anxieties began to dissipate, replaced by the simple joy of being present. You focused on the warmth of Rain’s hand around your waist and the comforting strength in his grip.

“Do you dance often?” you asked, trying to keep the conversation light.

“Only when the mood strikes,” he said, a smirk playing on his lips. “And when I have a captivating partner.”

Your cheeks warmed at the compliment. “Flattery will get you everywhere, you know.”

“Good,” he replied, leaning in slightly. “Because I have a few more tricks up my sleeve.” He twirled you under his arm, and you laughed, feeling light as a feather, the weight of the world momentarily forgotten.

As the song transitioned into something more upbeat, you felt the energy around you shift. The dance floor filled with laughter and lively movements, the other ghouls joining in as the atmosphere grew more celebratory. You felt the urge to join them, to lose yourself in the revelry.

“Shall we?” Rain asked, his dark eyes inviting as he leaned closer.

“Absolutely!” you replied, a grin spreading across your face as you pulled him into the crowd.

You both danced among your friends, spinning and swaying, the laughter echoing off the walls as you lost yourselves in the moment. Copia and Aether cheered you on, while Terzo and Omega pulled you both into their playful chaos, twirling you around in a whirlwind of joy and laughter.

The world outside faded, and for that brief, blissful time, it was just you, Rain, and the others, united in the warmth of camaraderie. It was a rare gift—a moment of pure connection amid the chaos of your lives.

As the music pulsed through the air, you felt alive, the burdens of the past lifting like a shadow dissipating in the light. You caught Rain’s gaze across the dance floor, and in that instant, you knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, you would face them together.

Just as the song reached its climax, a sudden chill swept through the room, a stark reminder of the dark uncertainties lingering just beyond the walls of joy. You felt it immediately, the unease creeping back into your mind, but before it could settle, Rain took your hand and pulled you close, a reassuring smile on his lips.

“Focus on the here and now,” he whispered, his breath warm against your ear. “Just keep dancing.”

With that, you threw yourself back into the rhythm, letting the music drown out the shadows, the energy of the night enveloping you once more. As you danced together, you felt the lightness return, knowing that whatever awaited beyond the moment, you had your friends and Rain by your side.

The night had blurred into a haze of laughter, music, and flickering candlelight, carrying you through the hours as if time had bent to the whims of the ball. After dancing with Rain, you'd joined the others in a celebratory drink—or two, or three—losing track of how many chalices of wine had passed between hands. The warmth of your friends, their infectious joy, had drowned out the lingering shadows of doubt and loneliness you'd carried into the night.

By the time the clock struck some ungodly hour, you’d found yourself sprawled on a plush velvet couch, Copia nearby with a half-drunk bottle of something strong. Terzo had already slipped away into the night, leaving a whirlwind of energy in his wake, and Omega and Aether were huddled in a corner, laughing at something only they seemed to understand. The soft glow of dim lights bathed the room in a hazy, almost dreamlike quality.

Rain, ever the provocateur, had poured yet another drink for you, and though your head was starting to spin, you took it without a second thought. There was a safety in this moment—a feeling of belonging you'd chased for weeks. As you tilted your head back and took another sip, you felt Rain sit down beside you, his presence grounding you in the swirling chaos of the room.

"We should do this more often," he said with a grin, his voice light but sincere.

You nodded in agreement, though words felt like they were slipping away from you. The world was soft around the edges, everything bathed in a golden glow. You leaned back against the cushions, your eyes fluttering closed for a moment, just to savour the feeling.

A soft moan escaped you, and Rain responded by pulling you closer, wrapping his arms around your waist, grounding you both in the intensity of the moment. The kiss became more urgent, more demanding, as if you were both trying to capture something fleeting—something precious.

As you broke the kiss, breathless and wide-eyed, you searched his gaze for reassurance. “What now?” you whispered, your voice trembling with anticipation and a hint of fear.

Rain smiled softly, his thumb brushing over your cheek. “Now, we let this moment guide us. Just trust me, and let’s explore what we feel.”

The warmth of his touch, the sincerity in his voice, and the tenderness of his gaze all enveloped you like a warm blanket. You nodded, feeling the last remnants of fear dissolve as you leaned in again, this time with newfound confidence.

Rain's gaze softened as he held you close, his arms still wrapped securely around your waist. He studied your face for a moment, his dark eyes flickering with an emotion you couldn't quite place—something between tenderness and restraint. His fingers traced a gentle path along your back, grounding you even as the world around you seemed to spin with possibilities.

"Now?" he echoed quietly, his voice barely above a whisper, laced with both amusement and something deeper. He paused, as if weighing his words carefully, before speaking again. "Now, we take it slow."

The intensity between you both hadn’t dissipated, but his words were like a calming tide, easing the rush of emotions swirling within you. There was no pressure in his tone, no urgency to move beyond the moment you had just shared. It felt like a promise—unspoken, but understood.

You nodded, the tension in your chest loosening as you exhaled slowly. The warmth of his body against yours was comforting, his presence steady and reassuring in the dim light of the room. Your heart still raced, but now it beat with a sense of calm anticipation rather than fear.

"Slow is good," you whispered, your voice steadier this time.

Rain smiled, that familiar, playful glint returning to his eyes as he leaned his forehead against yours. "We have all the time in the world, my dear," he murmured, his breath warm against your skin. "No need to rush."

For a moment, the world outside the two of you ceased to exist. The soft hum of laughter and distant conversation from the others faded into the background, leaving only the quiet, intimate bubble you'd found yourselves in. You let yourself sink into the comfort of the moment, feeling the weight of everything that had been building between you both dissolve into something softer, something you didn’t need to define just yet.

"Besides," Rain added with a smirk, "I have a reputation to maintain. Can't have everyone thinking I swoop in too fast."

You laughed softly, the sound breaking through the tension and bringing a lightness back into the air. "Of course not," you teased, your fingers lightly brushing against his chest. "We wouldn't want to tarnish your impeccable image."

He grinned, clearly pleased with your response, and for a brief moment, the tension between you two seemed to evaporate completely, replaced by the easy banter that had always defined your relationship. But beneath it all, you knew something had shifted. The kiss had changed things, deepened the connection you already felt with him, and though neither of you seemed eager to label it, there was an unspoken understanding that you were no longer just dancing around the edges of something more.

Rain's hand found yours again, his grip gentle but firm, as if reminding you that he was still there, no matter what. "Come on," he said softly, pulling you up from the couch and steadying you when you stumbled slightly, the effects of the wine still lingering. "Let’s get some air. Clear our heads."

You nodded, grateful for the suggestion, and together, you slipped out of the room and into the cool night air, the laughter and music from inside fading behind you. The sky above was a canvas of stars, glittering against the inky blackness, and the quiet stillness of the night felt like a welcome reprieve from the intensity of the evening.

Rain led you to a nearby garden, its flowers bathed in silver moonlight, the scent of night-blooming jasmine heavy in the air. He didn’t let go of your hand, and you didn’t want him to. There was a peacefulness here, a sense of solitude shared only between the two of you, away from the noise and the chaos.

You walked in silence for a while, your footsteps soft against the dew-kissed grass. Eventually, Rain stopped and turned to face you, his expression serious but kind. "Whatever happens next," he said quietly, his eyes searching yours, "we’ll figure it out together. No pressure, no expectations. Just… us."

The sincerity in his voice made your heart swell, and you felt a wave of relief wash over you. It wasn’t just the kiss or the growing connection—it was the sense that, with Rain, you didn’t have to carry everything alone. He was offering you something more than a fleeting moment of passion; he was offering you understanding, patience, and most importantly, choice.

You smiled up at him, your chest light with the knowledge that this was something real, something you didn’t have to fear. "Just us," you echoed softly, and for the first time in a long while, the future felt less daunting.

Rain grinned, pulling you close once more, this time not with urgency but with a quiet affection that made your heart flutter. "And maybe a few more dances," he added, his voice teasing but warm, as he swayed gently with you under the stars.

The night stretched on around you, but here in the garden, time seemed to stand still, just the two of you moving together in a slow, unhurried rhythm, wrapped in the quiet promise of what was yet to come.

You felt the warmth of his gaze, a spark igniting between you. “What do you have in mind?”

Rain’s lips curved into a playful smile as he stepped closer, closing the distance between you. “I thought we could find a place to be alone, away from prying eyes.”

Before you could respond, he reached for your hand, guiding you through the dimly lit corridors. You followed him, excitement bubbling in your chest, your heart racing at the thought of being alone with him.

Eventually, he led you to a secluded alcove, the walls adorned with intricate carvings that glimmered in the candlelight. The air felt thick with anticipation as he turned to you, his eyes filled with an intensity that made your breath hitch.

“Here feels right, doesn’t it?” he murmured, stepping closer, his body just inches from yours.

You nodded, your pulse quickening as you took in the way his eyes darkened with desire. “It does.”

He leaned in, capturing your lips with his in a slow, lingering kiss. The taste of him was intoxicating, a mix of sweetness and warmth that sent shivers down your spine. You melted against him, your hands finding their way to his hair, fingers tangling in the soft strands.

Rain deepened the kiss, his hands finding your waist, pulling you closer. The world around you faded away as you lost yourself in the moment, your heart racing in rhythm with the soft gasps escaping your lips.

As the kiss intensified, you could feel the heat radiating from his body, igniting a desire within you that you had never experienced before. You pulled back for a moment, breathless, searching his eyes.

“Are you sure about this?”

His gaze was unwavering, filled with a fierce longing. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

With that, he leaned in again, capturing your lips with a renewed fervor. The kiss deepened, and you could feel the urgency between you building, a flame that demanded to be stoked.

Rain’s hands slid down your back, his fingers grazing the small of your waist, eliciting soft gasps from you. “Let go,” he whispered against your lips. “Embrace this.”

His words sent a rush of heat through you, and before you knew it, you were yielding to the moment, your body responding instinctively to his every touch. You felt yourself being pulled closer, the warmth of his body against yours igniting every nerve ending.

As the kiss deepened further, you felt the cool stone of the alcove at your back, anchoring you as you melted into his embrace. Rain’s lips trailed from your mouth to your neck, leaving a path of tingling warmth as he explored every inch of your skin.

“Rain…” you breathed, your voice a mix of longing and need.

“I want you,” he whispered against your neck, sending shivers down your spine. The raw desire in his voice made your heart race even faster.

With a mixture of excitement and nervousness, you nodded, surrendering to the moment. “I want you too.”

He captured your lips once more, the kiss heated and passionate, as if the world outside had ceased to exist. Rain pressed you against the wall, his body pressing against yours, creating a delicious friction that made you ache for more.

His hands roamed your body, exploring the curves and contours that he had long admired. You gasped as his fingers brushed the hem of your shirt, a wave of anticipation coursing through you.

“Are you sure?” he asked, his voice low and filled with concern.

You met his gaze, feeling the weight of his question. “Yes. I want this. I want you.”

With your words of encouragement, he leaned in, capturing your lips in another fierce kiss. The intensity between you surged as he began to lift your shirt, exposing your skin to the cool air.

The sensation sent sparks of pleasure coursing through your body, and you arched into him, craving more of his touch. Rain took his time, exploring every inch of your skin with reverence, his hands dancing over your curves as he worshipped you with his kisses.

The world around you faded into nothingness as you lost yourself in the moment, your inhibitions slipping away like the falling leaves outside. Every kiss, every caress ignited a fire within you, driving you closer to the edge of ecstasy.

With that, he pressed you back against the wall, the cool stone contrasting with the heat radiating from both of you. The urgency of the moment enveloped you as he kissed you deeply, the world outside fading into nothing as you surrendered completely to him.

You felt a flutter of anxiety in your chest as you hesitated, wanting to ensure this was what he truly wanted. “Is this okay? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” you shakily asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

Rain’s expression shifted, his eyes softening as he cupped your face in his hands, his thumbs brushing your cheeks gently. “You could never make me uncomfortable. Trust me, I want this just as much as you do.” His words, laced with affection and reassurance, sent a rush of warmth through you.

You nodded slowly, feeling your nervousness begin to melt away under the weight of his gaze. “Okay,” you said, the word feeling both exhilarating and liberating. “I trust you.”

With a smile that made your heart race, Rain leaned in again, capturing your lips with his. The kiss was deeper this time, filled with a hunger that mirrored your own. You lost yourself in him, your hands finding their way back to his hair, pulling him closer as if you could meld your bodies into one.

He pressed his body against yours, and you could feel the heat radiating from him, igniting every nerve ending. The world outside the alcove faded further away, leaving only the two of you in your own private universe.

“Just relax,” he murmured against your lips, his voice a soothing balm that eased your lingering tension. “Let me take care of you.”

You felt alive, every sensation heightened as he kissed a path down your neck, his lips soft and inviting against your skin. “You’re beautiful,” he whispered, his breath warm against you, and you felt a blush creep across your cheeks.

“Rain…” you breathed, your voice a mix of desire and awe.

“Just let it happen,” he urged, his eyes darkening with passion as he pulled back to look at you. “I want you to feel everything.”

As you melted into his embrace, the boundaries of uncertainty dissolved, leaving only the raw need that pulsed between you. The alcove felt like a sanctuary, a hidden world where nothing else mattered but the two of you and the fire that had ignited between you.

“Are you ready?” he asked, his voice low and filled with a promise.

You nodded, feeling exhilarated and liberated. “Yes, I’m ready.”

Rain turned to face you, his expression a blend of mischief and earnest desire. “I’ve been waiting for this moment,” he admitted, his voice low and inviting, sending a thrill of anticipation coursing through you.

Your heart raced as he stepped closer, the air thick with unspoken promises. “Are you sure you want to do this?” you asked, needing to ensure he felt as ready as you did.

He smiled, a genuine warmth radiating from him. “More than anything. I want to share this with you, to show you how incredible it can be.”

As you nodded, giving him the reassurance he needed, Rain leaned in to kiss you again. His lips moved against yours with a delicious urgency, and you found yourself melting into the kiss, losing all sense of time and place.

With a gentle push, he guided you toward the bed, the soft fabric inviting and warm beneath you. The moment felt electric, every nerve ending alight with excitement and desire. Rain followed, hovering above you for a brief moment, his eyes searching yours as if to confirm that you were still on the same page.

“Are you ready?” he asked again, his voice a seductive whisper that made your breath hitch.

“Yes,” you breathed, feeling a mixture of exhilaration and nervous anticipation.

He leaned down, capturing your lips once more, deeper this time, as if he were savouring every moment. Rain’s hands found your waist, fingers dancing along the fabric of your clothes, teasing you, igniting a fire within you that had long been waiting to burst free.

As the kiss deepened, he began to explore your body with a gentle urgency, trailing his fingers along your sides, memorizing every curve. You felt your heart race, each touch sending shivers down your spine. The heat radiating from him made your skin tingle, and you could feel yourself responding to him instinctively.

“Tell me what you want,” he murmured, his lips hovering close to yours, eyes dark with desire.

You took a shaky breath, feeling the weight of his question. “I want you, Rain. I want this.”

With that, he moved slowly, deliberately, his hands working to undress you, each piece of clothing falling away like petals from a flower. He took his time, his touch reverent as he revealed your skin to the cool air and his warm gaze.

You felt exposed yet incredibly safe under his scrutiny, as if he were worshipping you with every brush of his fingers. When he finally stripped away your last layer, a rush of vulnerability washed over you, but Rain's gaze was nothing but reverent.

“Gorgeous,” he breathed, and you felt your cheeks flush under his intense gaze.

Rain climbed onto the bed, positioning himself beside you, his body warm and inviting. He leaned in, kissing a path down your neck, your collarbone, and across your shoulders, making you gasp at the sensation.

Your hands tangled in his hair, urging him closer as you arched your back, desperate for more. “Please, Rain,” you whispered, your voice thick with longing.

His eyes met yours, filled with a promise that sent another rush of warmth through you. “I’ve got you,” he assured, his voice a low murmur against your skin.

The world outside faded completely as you surrendered to the moment, the weight of anticipation hanging in the air. With each kiss, each gentle caress, you felt the connection deepen, a dance of souls intertwining in a way that felt both primal and profoundly beautiful.

He unclothed himself in turn, and out came his cock. It was a gorgeous piece of Satan’s work, girthy, the tips glistening with pre-cum. 

“Well?” Rain cooed softly, his breath warm against your skin as he pulls back slightly, searching your eyes for clarity.

“I’m not sure,” you stutter slightly, the weight of his gaze sending your nerves spiraling. “I might need a drink.”

Rain’s eyebrows raise slightly in surprise, but then he chuckles softly, a sound that eases some of the tension in the air. “Is it your first time?” he asked gently, his voice filled with understanding.

You nod, a wave of vulnerability washing over you. “I’ve never… you know, with anyone. I’ve thought about it, but it’s always felt so overwhelming.”

His expression softens, and he brushes a stray hair behind your ear. “It’s okay. You don’t have to rush into anything you’re not ready for. We can take our time.” He pauses, his lips curving into a teasing smile. “But a drink sounds like a good idea. How about I grab us some wine to loosen things up?”

You feel a mix of relief and anticipation as he rises from the bed, revealing the strong lines of his body under the soft candlelight. The sight sends a thrill through you, reminding you just how much you desired him.

“Yeah, that sounds perfect,” you reply, your heart still racing, but the nervousness beginning to settle.

As Rain heads toward the small bar in the corner of the room, you take a moment to collect your thoughts, your gaze lingering on his graceful movements. He poured two glasses of deep red wine, the liquid swirling like liquid rubies in the soft glow of the candles.

Returning to the bed, he handed you a glass with a playful grin. “To new experiences,” he said, raising his glass to toast.

You clinked your glasses together, the sound echoing softly in the dim room. Taking a sip, the rich flavour flooded your senses, calming your nerves just a little more. You could feel the warmth of the wine spreading through you, igniting a gentle buzz that made you feel lighter.

“See? Not so bad, right?” Rain said, taking a sip of his own glass, his gaze fixed on you with a mixture of warmth and desire.

“Not at all,” you replied, feeling emboldened by the drink and his encouraging presence. “It actually helps.”

With the tension easing, you set your glass down and met his gaze, the connection between you palpable. Rain leaned in closer, a playful glimmer in his eyes. “Are you ready now?”

You took a deep breath, feeling the intoxicating mix of nerves and excitement swirl within you. “I think so.”

“Good,” he said softly, his lips brushing against yours once more, igniting the spark that had been building between you. “Just remember, we’ll go at your pace. I want you to feel comfortable.”

You hesitate at first, as you get down on your knees, you feel the pressure of the mattress on your knees.

Rain watches you intently, his expression a mix of desire and encouragement. “You’re doing great,” he murmurs, his voice low and soothing. “Just breathe.”

You take a deep breath, trying to steady your racing heart. The space between you feels charged with energy, an unspoken understanding hanging in the air. Rain shifts closer, and you can see the heat in his gaze, the way he wants you—truly wants you.

“Are you okay?” he asks, his tone gentle, but you can sense the underlying urgency of his desire.

“I’m okay,” you reply, though your voice trembles slightly. The thrill of the moment fuels you, and you find comfort in the way he is looking at you, filled with a mix of affection and hunger.

Encouraged, you lean forward, placing your hands on his thighs, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath the fabric. Rain's breath hitches slightly as you press your lips against his hip, a gentle kiss that sends a shiver through both of you.

“God, you’re perfect,” he whispers, his hands finding their way to your hair, fingers tangling softly in your locks. “You have no idea how beautiful you look right now.”

His praise ignites a spark of confidence within you, and you smile against his skin before trailing your lips higher. The mattress shifts beneath you as you move, the world around you fading away until there’s only the two of you.

Rain pulls you closer, his touch both grounding and electrifying. “Just remember, we’re in this together,” he murmurs, his voice thick with longing. “You can stop at any time.”

With each kiss, the connection between you grows deeper, a mix of tenderness and heat that leaves you breathless. You feel the weight of your inhibitions melting away, replaced by an insatiable need to explore this new realm of intimacy with him.

With a surge of passion, you pull him closer, your lips crashing against his once more. The kiss deepens, and you can feel the heat radiating from his body as he presses you against the soft mattress. The world outside fades away, leaving just the two of you in this cocoon of desire and longing.

Rain’s hands wander, exploring the curves of your body with a gentle yet urgent touch. He trails his fingers down your arms, sending sparks of

“Let me show you how much I want you,” Rain murmured, and you can only nod, breathless with anticipation.

Suddenly, a ripple of energy coursed through the air around you. The warmth that enveloped Rain seemed to pulse and shift, as if he were harnessing some hidden power. The glimmer of moonlight cast shadows that danced across his skin, and in that moment, you felt an undeniable shift within him.

His form began to change, a soft glow emanating from his body. His blue hair flowed like water, shimmering as though touched by the moonlight itself. The ethereal beauty of his transformation captivated you, revealing his true essence as a water ghoul—a creature of both passion and depth.

“Rain…” you breathed, mesmerized by the display of magic, his very being shimmering with a captivating energy that intertwined with your own longing.

He leaned closer, his gaze locking onto yours, filled with a fierce intensity that sent shivers down your spine. “I want you to see all of me,” he said, his voice a low whisper that resonated deep within your core. “And I want to share everything I am with you.”

The air crackled with anticipation, the connection between your souls deepening as you surrendered to the moment. You could feel the power of his transformation wash over you like a gentle tide, drawing you into a world where boundaries dissolved and intimacy flourished.

As he moved against you, the heat between your bodies ignited into a roaring flame, each kiss, each touch, carrying the weight of your desires and the promise of what was to come.

With every caress, Rain revealed more of himself, his hands trailing along your skin, igniting a fire within you that was both exhilarating and all-consuming. You lost yourself in the rhythm of your bodies moving together, the world around you fading into a blur of sensation.

With every caress, Rain revealed more of himself, igniting a fire within you that was both exhilarating and all-consuming. As your bodies moved together, the world around you blurred into a haze of sensation, your connection deepening with each kiss.

He pulled back slightly, his eyes glimmering with an intensity that made your heart race.

 “I want to share everything with you,” he whispered, his voice thick with longing. The air around you seemed to shimmer with energy as he shifted, and you could feel the heat of his transformation pressing against you.

You caught your breath as you realized what was happening—a new aspect of his being emerging, a beautiful embodiment of both vulnerability and strength. Scars etched where his breasts had been – and –

You felt your pulse quickening, excitement and curiosity coursing through you as he spread his legs to reveal a smooth shaft, crowned with a sensitive head – dripping wet, perfectly capable of standing on its own.

“I’m…well…what you would call “transgender”. His voice no longer sultry. Was that a tinge of nervousness?

“That doesn’t matter to me, Rain.” You replied, trying to put him into ease.

His breath hitched as he stepped closer, feeling the electric tension in the air.

“But it does matter. I want you to understand—this isn’t just a detail I can brush aside.”

You paused, studying his face, searching for the truth in his eyes. “I’m here with you now. I want you, all of you.” You nodded, breathless, the sight before filling you with a mix of awe and desire. “It’s incredible,” you breathed, feeling a primal urge rise within you.

“Then let me show you just how good it can be,” he murmured, his voice a low rumble that sent shivers down your spine, guiding you into this new territory of intimacy.

“Can I?” you stared into the ocean that was his eyes, you felt a ripple of emotions wash you over. They were a rich, deep green, reminiscent of a sunlit seaweed garden, filled with life and secrets waiting to be uncovered. His irises shimmered with golden flecks, like moonlight dancing on the surface of a tranquil lagoon, illuminating the shadows of his past. They glowed with the softness of the twilight sky, casting a soothing light that calmed the storm of your nerves. The way his pupils expanded, dark as the ocean's depths, hinted at the mysteries of the deep.

He nodded, and wearily, your fingers traced the contours of his labia, exploring every inch as he let out a soft sigh, the sound sending shivers down your spine. The warmth of his skin felt like sunlight filtering through water, illuminating your senses and casting aside any lingering doubt.

“Is…this okay?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper, feeling your stomach churn slightly with anticipation and vulnerability.

“More than okay,” he breathed, his voice a gentle tide that washed over you, reassuring and inviting. His eyes sparkled with a depth that pulled you in like an undertow, filled with trust and longing.

With each delicate caress, you felt the connection deepen, a bond forming like the interwoven strands of seaweed beneath the waves. The air around you grew thick with tension, electric and alive, as you explored his softness, the rhythm of your breaths synchronized in this intimate dance.

His body responded, arching gently into your touch, as if seeking more of the comfort and warmth you offered. The gentle rise and fall of his chest mirrored the ebb and flow of the ocean, grounding you in the moment. You could sense the calmness in his gaze, a lighthouse guiding you through uncharted waters, illuminating the path ahead.

“Just like that,” he encouraged, a smile teasing the corners of his lips, and the confidence in his voice made you feel anchored, secure in your exploration. With each gentle stroke, you became more attuned to the waves of pleasure rippling between you, and the world around you faded into the background, leaving only the two of you suspended in a sea of connection.

"Is it alright if I...?" you asked, voice steady but soft, meeting his gaze with assurance. A subtle smile played on your lips, the question lingering between you like a shared secret.

His eyes softened, a glimmer of excitement mingling with warmth. "More than alright," he murmured, his voice carrying an invitation that made your pulse quicken.

With a gentle nod, you closed the distance between you, your movements purposeful and attentive, each touch attuned to his responses. As your lips found his skin, you felt him relax, welcoming the moment with a sigh that reassured and encouraged you.

The sensation was electric, almost sinful in its intensity. It felt so good. Really good. Unholy, even.

A thrill shot through you, each movement igniting something deep and primal, stirring a desire that felt both thrilling and forbidden. The way your bodies fit together, the warmth, the closeness—it was a connection that felt as though it defied some sacred boundary, yet was all the more irresistible for it. Every touch, every sigh, echoed in the quiet, filling the space with a shared, undeniable need that felt both exhilarating and deliciously illicit. Was it really that easy?

You paused, curiosity flickering through your mind as you noticed the dampness on his flesh. He was already wet, his skin glistening under the low light, and you couldn’t help but wonder if this was part of his water ghoul nature or something else entirely. It added an enticing mystery to the moment, a reminder of the otherworldly connection between you—a mix of the familiar and the unknown that made each second feel like a revelation. With a steady breath, you leaned in, allowing the moment to guide you as you took him in, letting your instincts lead. The warmth and closeness sent a ripple of excitement through you both, each touch amplifying the connection between you. His breath caught as you moved, and you could feel him responding, the subtle reactions spurring you on. You leaned in closer, feeling the warmth radiating from him as your lips brushed against his labia, sending a wave of heat coursing through your body. The taste was a tantalizing mix of saltiness and sweetness—a unique blend that lingered on your tongue, igniting a primal hunger within you. Each gentle kiss sent shivers down your spine, amplifying the desire that swelled between you.

The softness beneath your mouth felt luxurious and inviting, the delicate texture responsive to your touch. You could feel the gentle rise and fall of his body as you explored, the skin warm and supple against your lips. It was as if each caress created a spark, connecting you both in a tangible way, drawing you deeper into the moment.

As you began to suck gently, a rush of warmth enveloped you both, creating an intoxicating cocoon of intimacy. You felt him arch slightly into your mouth, his breath hitching, each gasp a melody that resonated within you. The taste intensified, mingling with the heat of the moment, and you savored the way he responded, the soft tremors of pleasure that rippled through his body.

Your mouth moved with deliberate care, exploring the contours with a tenderness that spoke volumes. You could hear the soft gasps escaping his lips, the sounds of pleasure mingling with the rhythm of your breaths, creating a symphony of intimacy that filled the space around you. Each subtle shift and sigh deepened the connection, a silent conversation that transcended words and drew you both into a world of shared ecstasy.

The air was thick with anticipation, the atmosphere electric with the chemistry buzzing between your bodies. The faint scent of his skin mingled with the heady aroma of desire, wrapping around you like a warm blanket. Every sensation was heightened—the soft brush of his skin against your lips, the tantalizing taste that filled your mouth, and the rhythmic cadence of your shared breaths.

As you continued, you felt his body responding, each gentle movement drawing you closer together. The world outside faded into nothingness, leaving only the two of you locked in this intimate dance. You were engulfed in a haze of warmth and desire, every second stretching into eternity as you lost yourself in the pleasure of the moment, savoring the exquisite closeness that enveloped you both.

Every movement was deliberate, savouring the closeness and the way he softened into your touch, grounding you in the intimacy of the moment. The world around you faded, leaving only the two of you, locked in a shared rhythm that felt like the deepest form of understanding. You felt his breath quicken beneath your touch, his body tense as you moved with a steady rhythm, sensing him drawing closer to the edge. Each reaction—a subtle twitch, a soft gasp—spurred you on, heightening your own anticipation. There was something deeply rewarding in feeling him lose control, his usual guarded composure melting away as he gave in to the sensations.

As he reached his peak, a surge of warmth and satisfaction coursed through you, his release mirrored in your own sense of connection. His hand rested gently on your shoulder, fingers tightening slightly as his body trembled, and you stayed close, grounding him through the aftershocks. In that moment, the intimacy and trust you shared felt profound, leaving a quiet, shared warmth that lingered long after.

“Unholy Mother, Rain”

“Unholy Mother,” he gasped, his voice thick with disbelief and pleasure, each word laced with the weight of the moment. His body shuddered against you, the connection between you both electrifying and deeply intimate.

You could feel his heartbeat, rapid and powerful, matching the rush of emotions swirling within you. His fingers dug into your shoulder, anchoring himself to the moment as the aftershocks of ecstasy rolled through him. The air around you was charged with an intensity that left you both breathless, the world outside fading away.

“Did that feel as good for you as it did for me?” he managed to say, a breathy laugh escaping his lips, still riding the waves of pleasure.

You smiled, warmth spreading through your chest. “It felt incredible,” you replied, your voice steady despite the adrenaline still coursing through you. The trust you shared in that moment was palpable, a silent understanding that transcended words, leaving you both suspended in a blissful afterglow.

[mercurials]

I really like brandy's design!! can u tell us a bit more about her backstory?

THANK U!! :') i accidentally wrote a huge ramble so i hid it under a readmore and added a tldr paragraph lol! gonna try not to feel too cringe for sharing all this bc shes from a silly little fantasy animal rp teehee. also if anything seems contradictory or lacking in context its bc theres a lot of nuance to the roleplay/dynamics that i had to leave out cuz i could talk forever

TLDR - basically she grew up a religious fanatic who was training to be a priestess of a warmongering god, and left home at too young of an age to carry out missionary work after she received a sign from him. being young, very sheltered, and always in search of attention and validation (she'd suffered through a lot of emotional neglect and outright hatred at various points in her life thus far), it wasn't long before she fell in with a bad, predatory crowd and an abusive boyfriend. this led to her completely cutting herself off from her family out of shame (and fear over abandoning her missionary work) and a long and still ongoing struggle with substance abuse, self worth issues, problems setting boundaries and understanding her sexuality, and self-destructive hedonism. the shitty hand she was dealt felt like a betrayal, considering it was all caused by her leaving to carry out religious duties, so she spurned her god and has been unlearning a lot of religious bullshit ever since. after being dumped by her boyfriend it took her a long time to reconnect with her family, because she spent a while spiraling in isolation with deeply unhealthy coping mechanisms as she navigated a fuckton of trauma with no help. since then, however, she was found by her aunt and finally brought home - though the home was new, as her family had been exiled from their community during her absence due to political conflict. reuniting with them has been the best thing for her; she was welcomed back with open arms and is slowly working through everything that's happened to her, but her recovery has had many ups and downs.

longer version

(content warning for themes of pedophilia and abuse beginning in paragraph 5)

despite being born elsewhere, early on she moved to and grew up in a deeply religious society that worships a bloodthirsty god - and she was all for it in her youth. like, very gung ho about becoming a priestess, cutting off her siblings who still lived in their birthplace, etc etc. her beloved grandmother was one of the rulers of this society and a voice of their god, so it meant everything to her.

this new life gave her the purpose, community, and companionship that she lacked in her birthplace, with no friends and a neglectful and emotionally distant immediate family, so as a lonely and vulnerable child she was caught hook, line, and sinker. she connected with extended family that actually made her feel wanted, she was favored by a god to the point of being granted powers, and she felt whole. i think isolating herself from her immediate family, who did not live here with her, gave her a sense of retribution as well.

buuut there was also a lot of developing political tension and a lot of vitriol toward her family - spearheaded by her grandmother's co-ruler, who had powerful sway. and in a brutal environment like her warmongering clan, this was a major and dangerous threat. so for all the joy brandy found in living here and worshipping her god, youthfully unaware of the conquest this necessitated, she grew more unhappy than she was able to identify. so when she one day manifested the ability to grow (and retract) a pair of wings, she interpreted this as a sign from the red god and jumped at the opportunity to leave her home and carry out missionary work in his name - perhaps out of a desperation to leave this place, although that was largely a subconscious motivation.

she was absolutely too young to be striking out on her own, probably around 15 at most (i was writing her on a feral forum rp so the aging was obv different which makes the conversion fucky so im still figuring that stuff out a bit lmao). but what the red god said, went, so no one questioned it - and she was naively eager and unafraid. she was his chosen. she was royalty. she was invincible.

NOT REALLY! she was more vulnerable than she ever could have realized, so desperate to prove her value to her clan (...and get as far away from those seeking to harm her as possible). desperate to be seen and loved without any judgment for her lineage. so it was all too easy for one of the first men she met beyond her land's borders to take advantage of her, and lead her astray from her goals - she was young, after all, and had very little world experience. finn was his name, and he introduced brandy to an entirely new world than anything she'd ever experienced, one of hedonistic vice. nothing a fifteen year old had any business engaging with, and certainly nothing a grown man had any business introducing a fifteen year old to. this new world, this new attention, was intoxicating to someone as sheltered and high strung as brandy - it wasn't long before she and finn began dating, and relatively soon after that her missionary work fell easily to the wayside.

their honeymoon phase felt amazing, like a dream to brandy, but red flags eventually began emerging that she didn't yet have the capacity to examine or act against. finn would always subtly shut down conversations about her home and family, and grew increasingly more controlling, overprotective, argumentative, and jealous over time. resentment did begin to fester within brandy, but she was easily guilt tripped or otherwise pressured out of it time and time again... until things came to a head in an explosive argument that ended with finn dumping brandy and kicking her out.

distraught, she spurned the god who'd led his devotee down this path and then let her suffer like this, and struck out on her own instead of returning home - the shame of dropping off the face of the earth and abandoning her family was too much to bear. what if they hated her for running away? for abandoning her mission? from there, she spiraled, finding relief in substance abuse and the bed of any stranger that would take her. it was the one area in which she enjoyed any sense of autonomy and control - although it reinforced the lesson she'd learned from finn and his friends that her body and sexuality were what gave her worth. with time her physical and mental health began to plummet, her sense of self weakening and her hedonistic escapism becoming the only thing keeping her afloat despite slowly sucking the spirit out of her. she missed her family desperately, and longed to be a child in their arms once more, but as time went on reaching out to them became less and less of a material possibility in her mind.

but by pure chance and far into the future, she one day stumbled into her aunt, arya, while out and about; though panic overtook brandy at the sudden reunion, arya was only ecstatic to see her again, which was an unbelievable relief. but it was a bittersweet reunion - brandy had missed a lot, including the assassination of her beloved grandmother and subsequent exile of her entire family from their community. the former broke her heart and flooded her with even more guilt about her abandonment. here she'd been gallavanting about, living solely for herself and running away from her responsibilities and family and obligations, while the loved ones she'd been trying so hard to forget were suffering.

it took a lot of reassurance and convincing to ease brandy's nerves about going home and reuniting with everyone else, but ultimately she gave in – and it was one of the best decisions she ever made. everyone welcomed her back with open arms, having assumed she'd died and ecstatic to be proven wrong. she moved in with her living grandmother and began rekindling the relationships she'd lost and missed out on for so much of her life, and though recovery has been a massively uphill battle she's doing what she can with her newfound support system.

aaaand that concludes everything i properly rped before the site i wrote on crashed and burned ✌🏼

[neuroflexzone]

Today has been full of tears—but not the sad kind. They’ve come with smiles, laughter, and the kind of release that feels like growth. There’s been grief, yes, but it’s the kind that blossoms instead of weighing me down.

Last night, I had another one of those realizations: something I deeply wanted months ago turned out to be something I don’t want at all. It’s been happening a lot, and each time I feel lighter, more free. I’ve realized that while I have dreams, I don’t need any of them to feel whole. Even if nothing unfolds how I hope, I’ll still be okay. Why? Because I have me. I’m here for me, I love me, and I’ll always make sure my life is beautiful.

One of my favorite lyrics is from I Remember by Deadmau5: “You don’t have to give up to let go.” Today, I truly felt it. I don’t have to give up on my dreams—they’re alive within me—but I can let go of the need for them to happen. They’re part of me, but they don’t define my happiness or my worth.

The moment that brought the most tears today was realizing how much I want to be a psychologist. For years, returning to school felt like an impossible dream, but now that I’m here, I can’t imagine being anywhere else. Psychology is my deepest passion. I want to spend my life studying it, learning from it, and using it to help people reconnect with hope, love, and themselves.

Every experience I’ve had—every joy and every pain—has been a gift. It’s given me the tools to sit with others in their grief, to hold space without feeling overwhelmed, and to be present in a way that’s meaningful. I’ve realized that this is what I’m meant to do, and I’m so grateful for the path that’s led me here.

I don’t need life to go a certain way. I’m open to however it unfolds, trusting that it will all work out. And through it all, I have me. I’m so grateful to spend my life with someone I love so deeply—myself. That love is unshakable, and it’s the foundation of everything else in my life.

[shynmighty]

Rook questions 12, 18, 37, and 38 for Cleo?

Yay!! Rook questions!!! Thank you so much!!! And sorry it took so long to answer this...I was glued to the game most of last night!! 💖

Here we gooo...

Cleo de Riva

This got a little long-winded because I love this gal so much, so I'll put it under a cut!

✨

12. Does Rook have any family? Do they keep in touch?

Note: I'm a little fuzzy on the timeline and some lore details, so I'm not 100% sure of what fits canon-wise, so some stuff may need to get switched around/altered.

Cleo is an older Rook (she's in her late thirties) so she had a family in her younger years before joining up with the Crows. She was born and raised in an alienage in the south (still deciding whether it was Ferelden or the Free Marches) by two loving parents, who sadly passed away from illness in Cleo's late teens. Cleo went on to marry a nice young man from the alienage and they had a child together. Unfortunately, the child was a mage, and Cleo's confidence was betrayed by someone she trusted. Templars took the child, and Cleo's husband was killed in the struggle. It took a few years, but after joining the Crows, Cleo managed to get revenge on both the person who betrayed her, and the templar she was betrayed to.

Around fifteen years later, even after the events of the Veilguard began, Cleo had resigned herself to never discovering what became of her child. A late night conversation with Emmrich led to her confiding about her past, and her frustrations with the lack of closure. Emmrich used his connections in the mage community to track down Cleo's child, and surprised her with a letter informing her that the child (who is now around 18-19) is alive, thriving, and wants to reconnect with their mother.

18. Their fondest childhood memory:

Living in an alienage wasn't easy, and Cleo also certainly remembers the struggles there, but there were moments of joy as well, even if they are colored by loss and sadness for her as an adult. When she looks back on her childhood, Cleo tends to feel fondest about quiet moments with her family and friends. She misses the simplicity of those times the most. She thinks of dinners her mother prepared, or projects she undertook with her father. She examines snapshot memories of her bedroom and takes mental inventory of all the beloved knick-knacks that didn't stand the test of time. She vaguely remembers the faces of the other children in the alienage that she used to play with, and the shenanigans they got up to. The collection of these memories is examined as a single entity.

37. Does Rook ascribe to a faith?

Answered here! 😁

38. Did Rook have any relationships before Veilguard?

Note: I kind of answered this earlier, but might as well go into a little more depth!

So...as I mentioned, Cleo married a nice young man from the alienage. The two had known each other for most of their lives, even if they didn't always get along. Cleo was always sassy and fiery. Her husband was more laid back, but he liked Cleo's moxie. Cleo secretly liked that he kept her grounded. They butted heads quite a bit, which lent itself to some tension between them. They married young, and had a kid young, and a lot of that was because they felt it was expected of them. The relationship itself was very innocent and youthful--they wanted to do things "right" and bicker into their old age.

If her husband had not died, there is a very good chance that Cleo would never have left her home, and lived out her life quietly with him. She genuinely loved him, but she was also a very different person during that point in her life. Becoming an assassin and going on wild adventures were not in the scope of possibility, or so she thought. The life might not have fulfilled her, but she couldn't imagine anything different. Basically...it was what it was. And it was certainly very different than the relationship she found herself in later! 😆

[untoldreader]

Love Rekindled

Bobbi Morse x pregnant reader

Chapter 3

After the storm of doubt and distance, a renewed sense of love and togetherness began to blossom between Bobbi and me. We made a conscious effort to prioritize our relationship and embrace the joy that awaited us on this incredible journey of parenthood.

Bobbi surprised me one evening by creating a cozy haven in our living room. Soft fairy lights twinkled, casting a warm glow, and a spread of my favorite snacks adorned the coffee table. I walked in, the scent of fresh flowers filling the air, and my heart swelled with happiness.

"Bobbi, what's all this?" I asked, my voice filled with wonder.

She took my hand and led me to the couch. "I wanted to create a special space for us, a place where we can reconnect and celebrate the love that brought us here."

As we settled into the cushions, Bobbi spoke from the depths of her heart. "I want you to know, [Your Name], that my fears and doubts were never about you or our child. They were about my own insecurities, my own worries of not being enough. But seeing you carry our baby, feeling the life growing within you, it's an incredible reminder of the love we share."

Tears of joy welled up in my eyes as I listened to her words, realizing the depth of her love and vulnerability. "Bobbi, I understand. We all have our fears and uncertainties, but together, we can conquer them. I'm so grateful to have you by my side."

She leaned in, her lips brushing against mine in a tender kiss. In that moment, I felt a surge of love and connection, as if the struggles of the past had melted away, leaving only the promise of a beautiful future.

From that day forward, we made it a point to nurture our relationship, carving out moments of intimacy and shared laughter amidst the chaos of our lives. Bobbi showered me with affection, her touch a constant reminder of the love we were bringing into the world.

Together, we dived into the preparations for our baby's arrival. We attended parenting classes, where we learned about the wonders of childbirth and how to care for our little one. Bobbi's enthusiasm and dedication were contagious, and her unwavering support made me feel like the luckiest person in the world.

Our friends and colleagues at S.H.I.E.L.D. also joined in our joy. They organized a baby shower, filling the room with laughter, gifts, and well-wishes. Coulson, Fitz, Simmons, and the rest of the team enveloped us in their warmth, creating a sense of extended family that would support us as we embarked on this new chapter.

As the days turned into weeks and my belly grew round with life, I marveled at the miracle unfolding within me. And with each passing moment, Bobbi and I grew closer, our love deepening as we prepared to welcome our little one.

≈========================≈

Note: This chapter focuses on the happiness and rekindling of love between the characters. It highlights the importance of nurturing a relationship and finding joy in the anticipation of a new life. :)

Bobbi's Masterlist Chapter 4 >

[ashton-ryder]

🔥🍑 📙

𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 ; 𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒃𝒐𝒘 𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔 … ( 𝒐𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 ) (x)

🔥 — everything’s all aflame! a headcanon about a time in my muses life that felt incredibly chaotic or out of control around them.

tw: dissociation 

Ashton comes from a quieter part of Minnesota and never really lived in a huge city with him more attuned with being in nature. So to have been accepted into NYU for doctorate program and moving there had him facing the urban jungle and he didn’t expect it to feel that overwhelming. The day he arrived, every sudden loud burst of sounds had him on edge and flinching, especially just leaving the marines and the mishaps of his final mission. He remember trying to walk through the crowded streets to get groceries; people shoving, fast walkers glaring, cars honking, ambulances blaring, and Ashton remembered his mind shutting down as if to protect and disconnect him from the bombardment to his mind, dissociating and watching himself try to keep up with the notions of New York life, blurring the noises away, numbing himself from the overstimulation of life, one step forward, and then the next, just get to somewhere quieter, somewhere to think without the chaos. He didn’t know how long had passed. And before he knew it, he stopped dead in the middle of the street, an oncoming car blaring loudly at him and a kind stranger yanking him out of the streets and out of the self preserving state he was in that unknowing could’ve led to his death. It took him a long time to get accustomed to New York, starting with a constant use of headphones and music yet slowly but surely, the city life would grow on him.

🍑 — you’re a peach! a headcanon specifically about a physical aspect of a person they are attracted to.

Physical and sexual attraction was something less familiar to Ashton compared to emotional attraction, he had a hard time grasping for an understanding of it when his friends or bunkmates talk about it. He thought back then that maybe something was broken in him that he couldn't relate, but it rarely bothered him. He had other things to do in life. He had his whole life ahead of him to come back and figure it out again, maybe if he just waited a little more it'll hit him. It never did but Ashton never felt like he was losing out. But if he had to choose a physical aspect that he at least admired, it would be people's eyes, as the saying goes, the eyes are the windows to the soul, you can see one's joy, sadness, fear, unfiltered. What a beautiful aspect of humanity's silent communication.

📙 — in the orange book! for a book, poem or piece of literature that my muse really loves, and why.

The Voyager Record: A Transmission by Anthony Michael Morena

You are getting so far away now. Does your distance mean your irrelevance? How the further away you hurtle from Earth, the less you become about us. You will be about another people, not who we are. Faerie elves exist only to supply meaning to words like "flit" and "folk." This is you to us. A boogeyman encased with stellar dirt with a golden eye that, in ideal conditions, sings.

Ashton remembers finding this fascinating book when it first launched, encapsulating the beauty of The Voyager's Golden Record mission back in the 1970s. He has always been a man of science, of numbers, hard cold facts and calculations of space. He lost a bit of the spark of wonder over the years and his professor recommended to him to reconnect with the human and philosophical aspects of space. We look to space because we are human. We can't forget that.

The Voyagers carry a message from Earth, a phonograph record plated with gold containing 27 songs, 118 images, and greetings in 55 languages meant to summarize all life on our planet for the extraterrestrials who might one day encounter the crafts. This book is the record of that record: a history in fragments exploring how legendary astronomer Carl Sagan and his team attempted to press the entire human race into a single groove.

Often, the book focuses on what’s not on the record. No photo of a naked man and a naked woman. No hip hop. No gay couples. No Grandmaster Flash. Many of the book’s pages contain only one paragraph, or a single word, with each snippet floating in a white space that invites further rumination. Zooming the lens way, way out, the book asks us to consider humanity’s need to nail down our context in the universe.

In effect, it elegantly and soulfully reaches to grasp the vastness of space, human experience, and manifestations of our attempts to matter.

It was a profound book that is still a favorite of Ashton's, and still sits on his book shelf. He takes it out to read every once in a while, every time he feels like he's slipping too far away from humanity.

[haza8877]

Hii ✨ I would like to participate!. I've been working on my self love and self development and I love it here. My question is how am I going to blessed in love? I'm bri ♈ thank you 🫶

Hi Bri 🤗 I’m so glad to hear that you’re focusing on self-love and personal growth. Honestly, the moment you chose to love yourself and prioritize your own well-being, that was already one of the greatest blessings the universe could give you. I truly believe that when someone fully embraces their worth, life will naturally bring them the love they deserve—and I have no doubt the same will happen for you.💖🫂

Tarot cards:

(5 of Swords, 5 of Cups, Knight of Wands)

Looking at these cards, I get the sense that you’ve been going through a period of healing, working through past wounds and disappointments. Is that part of what led you to focus on self-love, Bri? Often, it’s the pain we experience from the outside world that pushes us to turn inward and reconnect with ourselves.

But here’s the beautiful part—your biggest blessing in love isn’t something that’s coming later; it has already begun. The moment you realized how worthy you are of love, care, and respect, the universe started aligning you with the love that reflects that. As you continue this journey, you’ll attract relationships and experiences that match the way you treat yourself.

Healing takes time, and it’s not always easy. But with Knight of Wands here, I see you not just overcoming your struggles, but stepping into a life filled with passion, excitement, and new adventures. You’ll meet people who inspire you, who bring joy and energy into your life.

So trust that your blessing in love is already unfolding. One day, when you look back, you’ll realize that this journey of self-love was the greatest gift of all—and that it led you to something even more beautiful. 💛🪷💖

Let me know if you have any other questions. My "pay what you want" offer for a second question is still available. Thank you for joining my tarot mini game! 🙏🏻🪷💐💗🫂