#and let me be clear this is not to say lesbians and the lesbian community as a whole are bad or transphobic ofc!

[scarecrowgolem]

It is really disheartening how exclusionary and gatekeepy the lesbian community can be at times tbh. So much discourse is just pointless and not to mention can also be really tough on lesbians who are in the process of figuring themselves out.

[serana666]

Getting on my soapbox about something I think is REALLY important for chronically ill ppl to think about.

Being undiagnosed and disabled is a terrible experience. You’re screaming into the medical void for ANYONE to please SEE YOU and help. You start thinking “is it just me? Could it just be in my head? What’s wrong with ME?”

And I’m here to tell you, it’s 👏🏻NOT YOU👏🏻 it’s THEM. (The doctors)

I have been through the grueling process of becoming totally disabled by chronic illness, without knowing what it could be. I picked up diagnosis’ along the way: RA, then lupus, then fibro. And I am LUCKY that my blood worked with me to show those things, not everyone is so lucky.

I kept thinking (foolishly buying into the narrative doctors try and sell you) that if I could just get a *serious* diagnosis I would finally be given access to the care I needed, that ALL disabled people need. That was never the case at any step in the process.

When I was diagnosed with RA and began having symptoms outside of it, that were completely debilitating my rheumatologist told me I just needed more exercise and activity. I told them specifically I had fatigue so strong that I was loosing the ability for basic functioning.

When I found a new rheumatologist and was diagnosed with lupus I thought my troubles were over. Then she started saying weird shit like “do you have a boyfriend? You’re so pretty!”

She found out I was a lesbian when I brought my girlfriend to my appointment to be my advocate. Her whole demeanor changed to me and I spent 6-8 months with her receiving no treatment. They kept saying “oh it’s the insurance” nope they sent me letters telling me this office was not following up.

So I moved to a blue state literally out of fear that I would die waiting on these bigoted doctors. I got a rhum in a blue state. I was diagnosed with secondary fibro. Again, I foolishly believed I would finally be in the clear. No, she still minimizes and blinks at me when I describe my pain.

Doctors are not our allies, even though they should be above all else. They find ANY excuse to minimize us. So if you are someone who is undiagnosed or with a diagnosis that is misunderstood/not taken seriously , they will milk that for all it’s worth. 👏🏻ITS NOT YOU👏🏻

I’ve seen people in disabled communities minimized for their race, their weight, their gender, their sexuality/queerness, their age, their diagnosis or the lack thereof, ITS NOT YOU!

You know your body, and the pain you feel BETTER than any doctor that has been trained to systemically ignore you!

Don’t let them tell you what your reality is. It’s such a knee jerk reaction for minorities to do this to themselves.

You deserve medical care that isn’t contingent on your doctors bias’. We NEED more empathy. Don’t let their disregard for your life leak into the love you NEED to give yourself. 💕

[bengiyo]

Thoughts on Office Relationships, Breakups, Outings, and More in August ‘24 Shows

I couldn’t bring myself to finish Cosmetic Playlover today, so instead I decided to write about three shows doing interesting things with relationships right now. I don’t really have the time or interest in Stray Thoughts anymore, so I hope y’all enjoy this. For the past two weeks I’ve been thinking about the breakups and new relationships in The Trainee and Mr. Mitsuya’s Planned Feeding, and now I’m also thinking about Takara being upfront with Taishin about the state of their relationship on Takara’s Treasure. I want to get some of these thoughts down for posterity. 

The Ba-Mhee and Tae Breakup on The Trainee

I genuinely love that this show followed through on these two splitting up. I also like that Ba-Mhee asked to take the time to figure out what she’s feeling for Judy before doing something else. Ba-Mhee seems to define herself a lot by the relationship she’s in, and it was sad to see her struggling with the way Tae didn’t always respond to her attempts at expressing care and affection–methods which he never asked for. I think the two of them definitely needed to separate, because it’s not going to work if she’s feeling insecure because Tae is working hard in his preferred field.

That being said, I don’t like the thing with Judy because we know so little about Judy. All I really know about Judy right now is that she’s a workaholic with few personal relationships outside of the office, she’s queer, and she is good at handling clients. When she went to see Ba-Mhee after kissing her drunk intern the night before her anniversary at a work event, I wasn’t keen on the way it felt like Judy managed Ba-Mhee in that scene. Judy feels a bit inaccessible as a character right now, and I hope that’s a choice the show is making about how Ba-Mhee’s relationship with Judy is also rather one-sided, and entirely about her. I hope part of Ba-Mhee’s queer journey is recognizing how she seems to define herself by her relationships, and finds an identity independent of romance.

As for Judy… I hope there’s more to her here than just being pretty and good at her job. We’ve been let down twice this year by GL office romance, and I’d like for that to not be a constant trend. I’d like to see them give her nuance in her pursuit of a relationship with one of her reports.

Lastly, I really loved that Tae is trying to figure out how to be single again, and Pah got mad on his behalf. It’s a good compromise in a genre that seems to really not want characters to be  mad at each other for too long, especially when one of them has really hurt another. Tae got to be sad, and someone got to be righteous on his behalf. We even had good storytelling come out of these two using their jobs to punish each other, with it being very clear that these were bad choices. 

Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko Betrayed Its Characters

While I’m here, let me just say that the back half of this show was utterly offensive, and actively betrayed its own characters. I cannot believe that Hiroko’s own community was so quick to betray her trust and out her repeatedly. I cannot believe this show abandoned Hiroko’s straight girl problems from the beginning for a message that “It’s not that bad now, so just come out. I cannot believe this show had a Boob Monster lesbian withhold sex from her horny girlfriend for a year so she could “cherish her.” I am baffled by all of the choices that went into this, and I will not be recommending it. It gets a 4 from me. 

Jane’s Ex on The Trainee

I thought it was really interesting to introduce an ex at this point while Ba-Mhee and Ryan are both considering potential relationships with their mentors. There are consequences in a professional field when you date within your field for some folks, and it’s clear that happened with Jane. Nine, the ex, was here to once again benefit from Jane’s talents, and Jane did not seem like he expected to receive any real credit or benefit from that work. I’m curious if the show intends for any resolution for Jane with Nine, or if he’s here as a romantic tool for Ryan.

Speaking of Ryan, he is clearly in his early 20s, because his jealousy spiral exhausted me. Jane was obviously not into that man, and assured Ryan that he would be back later by making sure he and Ryan had plans for later. I hope we get back to Ryan actually being a good supporter when he’s focused and motivated, especially now that we know that Jo was meant to illuminate things about Pah.

Mitsuya’s Breakup with Noguchi on Mr. Mitsuya’s Planned Feeding

One of my favorite things about this age-gap story is that Mitsuya has been out for a long time, and he has a romantic and sexual history. I loved that he’s had an on again-off again relationship that he needed to bring to a close as part of his own story, and I loved how it wasn’t the ugliest of breakups. These two men know each other intimately, and this final break for them turned into a small celebration of what they had between them. Important things got aired, they snipped a little at each other, and they got to enjoy one last meal together in a way that added a gentle finality to the situation.

On Ishida’s end, I absolutely loved that he’s continued to be upright with Mitsuya about his feelings, called their date what it was, and stepped down from his professional role with Mitsuya. On top of that, I actually love that it was Noguchi that gave him the final inspiration he needed to go back to sports and face his own angst there. It’s actually so special for me that a 27 year-old man who felt like he had to give up on his dreams is finding a way to do something with the specific feelings he has about that. 

I’m also never getting over Ishida telling Mitsuya that he wants to be seen as a man and not a cute kid.This, right after introducing Mitsuya to a food he’d never experienced before! We can thank @isaksbestpillow for making this possible, and this feels especially poignant for me right after we said goodbye to Okita Kakeru, who explicitly wanted to be seen as cute. I am really excited about the queer themes that keep coming out of this show, and I’m sure I’ll have more to say.

Takara and Taishin Avoiding Breakup Nonsense on Takara’s Treasure

So often in these shows with small age gaps in school, they never seem to know how to cope with graduation. I finished rewatching You’re My Sky last night, and that show solved it with travel for one couple, and external collaboration for the mains. I loved this show having the older partner ask the junior directly about the challenges of life after graduation for them as a couple. 

This worked so well, because the show has shown us for weeks that Taishin is always paying attention to Takara, and @lurkingshan detailed how many ways Taishin showed that he understood Takara this week, and I appreciated @clownshoessqueaking covering how Takara has managed his restraint across this show. It’s just so rare that we see two characters have the important conversation that needs to be had, and give each other the exact assurances they need. Taishin got to hear directly from Takara about how things were going for them, and was able to say that he wanted the relationship and initiate physical intimacy between them. 

For all that this show has felt really quiet for two months, it’s becoming one of the shows I will likely remember from this year. 

That’s all for now. Thanks for reading!

[bri-the-nautilus]

Come To the Dark Side, We Have Hot Guys: A Star Wars Story

Spoilers below for S1 of Ahsoka and the first six episodes of The Acolyte.

I'm writing this with The Acolyte most of the way through airing its first season, with episode 6 having released earlier today. Say what you will about the show, but it's really brought out a lot of the uglier sides of the Star Wars fandom. Everyone and their mother has seen videos or Reddit threads dunking on the Critical Drinker or SWT and their mouth-breathing misogynist audiences at this point, so I don't feel particularly compelled to retread that ground. Instead, I want to talk about the... other side of the fandom, the hypocrisy therein, and how we're all being played for absolute fools by the creative team at Disney Lucasfilm.

Yes, this post is about Qimir.

Now I want to say that I have no problem with villain simping/shipping. Far from it. Most of my posts on this account are me simping for Shin Hati (we'll talk more about her later) or various Soulsborne bosses. Hell, my mutuals and I have a running joke about me having a weakness for evil blonde women. While I personally am too gay for my own good and couldn't care less about men as a concept, I absolutely see the appeal of characters like Qimir and Kylo Ren. I absolutely get why people thirst over them and love making fandom content for them. I think Qimir/Osha has the potential to be a really fun ship, actually. The point I'm making here is not "simping for these characters is wrong and bad," and I want to make that crystal clear before we continue.

That said, let's talk about Qimir, and how the landscape of the show and its surrounding discourse has changed since his reveal. Again, I'm ignoring the chud sphere here, partly because their little corner of the Internet has remained remarkably stagnant since then. The podcast bros still think it's woke, fucking Shadiversity is still whining about fight choreography (which as someone who actually has done HEMA/stage combat, Shad annoys me to no end, but that's an entirely separate can of worms), and it all seems to be business as usual over there. No, the most marked changes have been on the Acolyte-positive end of the fandom space. Here's what the top posts in "hashtag TheAcolyte" on Twitter look like tonight:

You get the idea.

Again, no hate to any of these people. This is tumblr ffs, we've all engaged in a little simping for a morally dubious hot person. I love seeing fans having fun engaging with something, and again I kinda dig the Osha/Qimir ship.

Anyways, if you were around for the Acolyte-positive discourse before the Qimir reveal, and especially the show's marketing and the reponse to that, you'll have noticed a marked difference.

Fans quickly began to see The Acolyte as " the gayest Star Wars ever." Showrunner Leslye Headland is an out lesbian, and her wife was cast as Master Vernestra Rwoh. Archetypical girlboss Carrie-Anne Moss was cast as Master Indara, immediately drawing comparisons to her role in the Matrix movies. Leads Osha and Mae Aniseya are played by the nonbinary Amandla Stenberg. The lesbian witches of Brendok were talked about in press releases before the show aired. Dafne Keen (Jecki Lon) stated in an interview that she portrayed the short-haired, serious Theelin as having a crush on Osha, something that fans were picking up on in their first interactions in the premiere before Keen even gave that interview. While Headland said in a post-premiere interview that she didn't set out specifically to make "a capital Q Queer show," it's an objective fact that no Star Wars movie/show has had as much potential in that area, and fans (especially the queer community) took notice. (For what it's worth, in the same interview Headland commented that she was proud of creating something that so many queer fans identified with.)

The show came out, and Master Indara was killed off in the first sequence, which I'm honestly fine with. It was a good scene and works on a lot of levels. Headland's aforementioned interview came and went. Episode three aired. The lesbian witches turned out to be even gayer than was previously thought possible, and people ate that shit up while the Critical Drinker's brain suffered a major cascade failure. Jecki became a runaway favorite in the premiere and episode four, as did lovable himbo Yord Fandar and the wise, paternalistic Master Sol. In Acolyte-positive circles, this was basically how it went. People thought Brendok was cool, the Yord Horde became the show's biggest social media sensation, Jecki and Sol cultivated devoted followings alongside Osha and Mae, there were a wealth of different ships involving various combinations of Jecki, Yord, and the twins... you get the idea.

Then episode 5 happened.

The writing was really on the wall when the Brendok coven was abruptly wiped out. Introducting such an interesting (and queer) Force-wielding culture only to exterminate them in the same episode was certainly a choice that somebody made. But episode 5 was a shock to the system for many fans, as the show's resident Sith revealed himself and killed Jecki and Yord in some of the most brutal recent onscreen deaths in Star Wars. To be clear, I think this was a great sequence. Two beloved main characters being suddenly and gruesomely killed off was a masterfully executed shock to the system, especially after viewers were lulled into a false sense of security by all the redshirt deaths in the previous scene.

This, understandably, completely changed the landscape of the Acolyte fandom. Virtually overnight, much of the simping and shipping involving Jecki and Yord dried up, and once the dust had settled as far as the "rip blorbo, gone too soon" posts went, what remained were the usual Sol/twins offerings and a wave of Qimir hype. Which is understandable. He's a badass emo Sith boy with a cool helmet who brutally murdered fan favorite characters in front of us and has palpable tension with the female lead. Who wouldn't love... wait a minute.

This feels familiar somehow.

But if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like nothing's changed at all?

And just like that, "the gayest Star Wars" is all about the (straight) sexual tension between an edgy, murderous Sith boy and a light-side girl plagued by dark thoughts whose friends said boy just killed. This is all eerily similar to how the Sequel Trilogy focused on Rey and Kylo while abruptly dropping Finn and Poe's character arcs. Even the fandom discourse is the same. I mean Reylo was so ubiquitous back in the day that it became a derogatory catch-all for good girl/evil boy shipping. Multiple authors now have either gotten their initial start/fame writing Reylo fics, or straight up published legally distinct Reylo fiction after the fashion of Netflix's After. You had the occasional person piping up to say "hey they kind of just left Finn and Poe hanging after TFA, it would've been cool if they got together but at the very least don't relegate them to being side characters/comic relief in separate story threads," and that was it. The same thing is going on with The Acolyte now, only the sequel trilogy wasn't marketed on the strength of being a queer story by a queer creative team. The Acolyte is, which makes it all the more baffling that by the midway point of the first season, all the gays have been buried and the show seems to be heading straight for Reylo 2: High Republic Boogaloo. And the fans are eating it up.

As an interesting aside, I think it's an interesting exercise to contrast the Kylo/Qimir pattern with the broader fandom's treatment of Shin Hati (told you we'd circle back to that), and the ship between her and Sabine Wren. On paper, Shin is very similar to Kylo and Qimir. Villain? Check. Edgy-looking armor? Totes. Emotionally damaged/stunted in some way? Sure looks like it. Tension with the heroine? You betcha. If anything, the only major difference is that Shin isn't as evil as the others. Compare her actions in Ahsoka (clearing out part of a light cruiser with Baylan and making repeated attempts on Sabine's life) to Kylo (oversees multiple war crimes, kills his fan-favorite dad) or Qimir (orchestrates the murders of several Jedi before brutally executing two fan-favorite characters). She's definitely bad, but I struggle to see her as on par with Qimir, let alone fucking Kylo, in terms of evilness.

Which makes it all the more interesting to me that the Shin/Sabine ship has received so much more mainstream skepticism/criticism than the Osha/Qimir or Rey/Kylo ships. "They have no chemistry!" "She's an evil murderer!" "She's a blank slate!" "Sabine is taken!" I may be a touch biased, but from where I sit a large part of the fandom, even the ostensibly progressive side, seems to look down upon Shin/Sabine shippers while swooning for heterosexual variants with far more evil villains.

This isn't a monolith, and I can't stress that enough. I'm not trying to start shit here. Villain shipping is awesome. We support women's wrongs in this house. You do see the occasional person decrying Reylo or Osha/Qimir as toxic, which I think is fairly unnecessary. Like yeah, maybe it's a toxic dynamic, but these are fictional characters. For these specific characters, part of the crowd appeal is the toxic badboy side of things. I don't think we should really spend much energy attacking any fictional ship (between adults, mind you) as toxic, which is why it puzzles me that an as-yet-unconfirmed lesbian ship in a niche show receives such a large proportion of this sort of criticism compared to the canon relationship between two main characters of a blockbuster trilogy.

At the end of the day, this whole affair has been rather sobering for me on both Disney Lucasfilm and the Star Wars fandom. For all the support the Shin/Sabine ship has received from Ahsoka cast members Ivanna Sakhno (Shin), Natasha Liu Bordizzo (Sabine), Eman Esfandi (Ezra Bridger, the other character people like to ship with Sabine), and Rosario Dawson (Ahsoka), I'm rather sour on the prospects of it becoming canon. The sequel trilogy dropped the ball on what many saw as a promising chance for an MLM romance between Finn and Poe in favor of trotting out the "why do good girls like bad boys" dynamic, and The Acolyte, "the gay show" overseen by a lesbian, has seemingly shifted to center a similar dynamic after killing off most of its prospects for a queer relationship among the main cast. Simply put, I think that Disney as an international company based in the frighteningly divided United States is reluctant to commit to anything beyond lipservice in terms of LGBT representation in their movies/shows, which again doesn't leave me feeling optimistic about WolfWren's canon potential. And the fandom takes the bait. People love the damaged evil badboy/good girl dynamic, and when the queer fandom suggests the possibility of a queer ship taking center stage in a show with no other extant relationships, even the more progressive side of the fandom tends to either ignore it or actively push back on its basis in reality until Disney Lucasfilm inevitably puts the kibosh on it. The amount of times I've heard people dismiss WolfWren for the same reasons they now like Osha/Qimir and liked Reylo (before that ship was fleshed out/canonicalized, anyway) is ridiculous, but at the end of the day you kinda feel stupid for expecting anything else. Again, I think Qimir is a cool character and I'm as much of a sucker for villain romances as the next girlie, but seeing how easily the fandom lets dangling heterosexual carrots lead it away from Disney Lucasfilm's broken promises of queer rep is a sobering ordeal.

[firstkanaphans]

if i have permission to be a bit of a bitch in your inbox (feel free to ignore this if not), the dichotomy people build between bl and queer media is sooooo fascinating. and of course by that i mean it gives me hives. the universalizing of 'real queer experiences' is obnoxious as hell, but how its been applied to ofts has really shown me why i find it so obnoxious. most of the people who hold this dichotomy would never classify a bl that ignores homophobia as 'authentically queer' media. but i definitely saw people who hoped that the 'authentically queer' ofts would exist in a bubble without any slutshaming, or that it would be resolutely shut down in show. but in my aroallo experience? that would be as inauthentic as the no homophobia bubble, so where does that leave us?

also the circular logic in the bl vs queer media arguments is mind numbing. 'bl doesnt cover these types of themes' yeah dude because you forcibly remove everything with those themes from the bl category in your head. 'queer media must acknowledge homophobia' the idea that a story by queer people about queer characters isnt really queer because it chooses to focus on joy or discovery or any other facet of queer existence is so fucking depressing. go hug a queer friend and think about why you feel queerness is defined by suffering before anything else.

Oh, hey, you found my soap box, Anon! Let me just step on up there with you for a minute.

So, first off, let me just say how much I hate the term “authentically” queer. It seems to suggest that in order to be queer, you have to be queer a certain way. As an ultra femme lesbian, the queer community often makes me feel like I’m not queer enough. That I don’t understand the hardships that come with being gay because I am “straight-passing.” This is the same thing people do to BLs. News flash: if you’re queer, you’re queer. Period. Congratulations, that’s all it takes to be authentic!

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that a large percentage of the people I see using this designation are straight women who think that queer suffering is a necessary part of the queer experience, but a lot of “authentically queer” people—me included—don’t want to be reminded of our real-life suffering every time we turn on the TV. Heartstopper is triggering for me. Bad Buddy is not. As a queer woman currently living in Ron DeSantis’s Florida,  I deserve to be able to turn on the TV every once in a while and not be reminded that there are people in the world who want me dead.

I’ve learned that when people describe a BL as “authentically queer,” what they actually mean is “This BL feels more Western”—the racist insinuation there being that Western media is inherently better.

I feel like The Eclipse is a good example of this hypocrisy. No one has ever called The Eclipse “authentically queer” despite the fact that it delivers one of the most nuanced takes on the dangers of systemic homophobia that I have seen anywhere. The writers of both the source material and the script are gay men. The director is queer. That seems to meet all of the qualifications these people set for “authentically queer” and yet no one has ever questioned that The Eclipse is a BL. Why? Because it incorporates traditionally Asian/yaoi humor tropes such as the pratfall and the accidental kiss. 

Are you sensing a pattern? It’s not the queer-ness of a piece of media that determines whether it is seen as “authentic.” It is its “Western-ness.”

Let me be very clear: All BLs are “authentically queer” media because the only requirement needed for a piece of media to be “authentically” queer is for the characters to be queer. And if you don’t like that, then maybe stop watching BLs.

If the people who were producing these shows had a problem with the term, that would be another discussion, but they don’t. P’Jojo has never advertised Only Friends as anything other than a BL. The fandom did that for him. And with all due respect, if the people making the fucking thing are calling it a BL, then it’s a fucking BL.

So, yeah. Not liking BLs doesn’t make you cool. It makes you a bigot. The fact that the term has become so derogatory is rooted in both racism and misogyny because this was originally a genre created by women, for women, and the hobbies of women are so often infantilized.

BLs are queer media. Die mad about it.

[lurkingshan]

On Boston and Brian Kinney

I’ve seen a lot of folks in the Only Friends tag recently making connections between the show and Queer as Folk, both US and UK versions, which makes sense because QaF is a clear reference for the show, both visually and thematically, and we know Jojo likes to reference western media in his work. One parallel folks are drawing is not tracking for me, however, so I am jumping in the wayback machine and putting on my old QaF stan hat to talk to y’all about Brian Kinney, and why Boston is actually nothing like him. Tagging @bengiyo and @neuroticbookworm who talked this through with me and also @slayerkitty because I saw you were contemplating this connection between the two characters.

So, first, why are people making this comparison? It really boils down to one thing: Brian and Boston are both sluts. That’s… pretty much it. They both like sex and prefer to have it with many different partners, and neither has much use for monogamy. But this is pretty much where their similarities end. 

So let’s remind ourselves who Brian Kinney is: a kind of fantasy of a hot, rich, self-actualized gay man with unmatched sexual prowess and a surface level flippancy masking a heart of gold. Brian is an adult man with a thriving career and money that he earned for himself after leaving his abusive and homophobic family (who would eventually explicitly reject him because of his sexuality). As a result, he is defiant in his commitment to live his life as loudly and queerly as possible—which includes a dedication to fucking and sucking, public sex, and a rejection of heteronormative constructs like monogamy.

Brian has a very clear moral code he lives by, even if it’s not one most can relate to. He decides to have a son with his (lesbian) best friend because part of him wants to believe in a better future and build a family of his own. He is extremely loyal to his found family even as he’s a jerk to their face most of the time, and he is always working behind the scenes to protect them even as he often hurts their feelings with his glib remarks and shitty behavior. Despite his disdain for monogamy, he never actually tries to destroy any of his friends’ happy relationships (in fact, he tries to sacrifice his own friendship with Michael to ensure he stays with his boyfriend).

Brian has a sense of responsibility to others and often takes on the blame for things he didn’t even do, which is why he takes baby gay Justin to Debbie and ensures he is cared for even as he tries to dissuade Justin from getting attached to him, and why he cares for Justin in the aftermath of his bashing. He cares deeply about his community, to the point where he pours his money into protecting the local gay scene, literally bankrupts himself to stop an anti-gay politician from winning an election, and gives up a dream job to stay put in Pittsburgh and help rebuild the community after a hate crime.

Brian is unflinchingly honest and he avoids making promises because once he does, he knows he will absolutely keep them—he takes his commitments seriously and he always does what he says he will. When he falls in love, he does not abandon his core values but he is willing to make some compromises. And he hides his better self and often wallows in self-destructive behavior because he feels deeply unworthy of love, which goes back to the intergenerational trauma he experienced as a child in an abusive home and the parental rejection he felt due to his sexuality. 

Boston, by contrast, is a character who feels more rooted in reality. He’s a pampered rich kid who is indulged in his hobbies and who already has a life plan laid out for him and paid for by his daddy. He likes to sleep around mostly because it’s fun, and because he knows his life here is temporary so he doesn’t see any point in getting attached to people. In stark contrast to Brian’s out and proud and fuck you if you have a problem with it brand of politics, he is still trying to hide who he is in service of his father’s political career, even if he’s pretty sloppy about it (see him fucking Top in a car with giant windows parked in the driveway at a house party).

Boston’s moral code is fungible and ever-changing to fit his circumstances—boy is a hypocrite (see his opinions about people filming and photographing him even as he does the same to others constantly). He has no loyalty and no qualms about hurting and betraying his friends, and actively tries to destroy their relationships for sport or as a means to get what he wants. He does not feel responsible for anyone and often lies and ducks accountability for the things he does. He does not care about his community at all, and in fact already has a NYC escape hatch in his back pocket for when he inevitably burns his bridges. He is not as honest as Brian and sends a lot of mixed messages to keep people guessing and on the hook.

Rather than hurting people by being brutally honest as Brian does, Boston plays psychological games and manipulates his friends and lovers, and he seems to take twisted pleasure in blowing up their happiness. We haven’t seen him make a promise or fall in love, and while there are some signs that he may have some sort of inferiority complex at play (with Mew in particular), his motives are not tied to any past trauma. Boston is just a messy bitch who loves chaos and doesn’t really care who gets hurt as long as he gets what he wants and stays entertained. Where Brian is literally a superhero to his loved ones, Boston is just a very flawed human being. 

But Shan, I hear you saying, I thought you liked Boston! I do, besties, I do. He’s a fantastic character and a very real kind of person many of us encounter in our 20s. Because that’s the thing: Boston is so young. He hasn’t developed any sense of responsibility to others or any understanding of the importance of queer community, and he has never had to take care of himself, which is perhaps the biggest difference between him and Brian. Brian has lived independently for more than a decade when we meet him in QaF, whereas Boston is a spoiled rich kid who has barely lived. Brian is a fully realized adult and his more nuanced characterization is a reflection of that; Boston is actually a pretty basic chaotic drama queen who will grow up eventually. 

TL;DR: Aside from being promiscuous, Boston has very little in common with Brian Kinney. He is more a reflection of a very real kind of person you will meet on the scene in queer communities than an homage to a larger than life fictional QaF character. And while OF is absolutely referencing some of the themes and values and stylistic flourishes of QaF, it is not making direct parallels to its characters. 

[decolonize-the-everything]

I'm so tired of logging on seeing queer discourse (among other kinds).

They are banning books, self expression, and HRT outside. You realize this? Our government is building cop cities, increasing police budgets, and bloating the military budget. They dropped affirmative action, disability lawyers don't want to bring forward lawsuits because they don't want to provide the supreme court an opportunity to gut the ADA because even they know it's hostile towards disability rights, NYPD interrupted BLM over their permit to celebrate Juneteenth.

I do not know how to make it more clear that literally none of us have room to fuck around and those of us are that are seriously wanting to make some change are watching y'all like teachers in a room full of kids that haven't got the hint to be quiet.

And before y'all say "we can care about 2 things"

Good for you, but as a community if one thing has been made very clear it's that as a collective we can not split our focus. When we do shit like this happens:

And that's just the attacks on queer rights! And that's just this year so far.

That averages to over 100 bills per state targeting the queer community and our rights.

•••

Can we please focus on our collective oppression and solidarity instead. We all have shit to work on okay? Nobody is a perfect ally, even people in your community and yeah that's messed up! But maybe we can set that aside for the sake of our literal rights and lives. At least for a bit.

like is it just me or does it seem tone deaf as fuck to be calling members of your community ignorant bigots for having internalized xyz (that they weren't even fully aware of) when there are powerful, financially backed think tanks and white supremacist orgs currently spending every dime they have on elections and to spread as many hateful policies as they can? Esp when those policies are having devastating real life effects on real people and costing lives?

Like idk.

Yeah the lesbian cashier who assumed my gender is an asshole, but I think it'd be a better use of my time to address the crowd outside that's discussing whether or not to blow up the Queer Store I'm standing in. I will have my whole life to check queer assholes and educate and accuse other people of not being good enough allies to me specifically, but that's only if I do everything I can to save both our lives first.

For the record, because I know someone is reading this in bad faith: I'm not saying the transphobic lesbian should be let off the hook or ignored. I'm saying that her education is secondary to the much more urgent need to work together and save our lives.

Likewise I'm so fucking tired of seeing of the transphobic lesbian whine and complain about how her space is being invaded by evil trans customers when there is literally a crowd outside that wants to kill them both.

[drvirgus]

Why You?

Idol! Yunjin X Idol! Reader X Idol! Chaewon

Description: What if the first official lesbian in the K-pop industry has to fake date her biggest school enemy? What if Y/n is already in a relationship, and it happens to be with one of the Member of Yunjin?

Warnings: kind of Cheating? Lots of Communication lack, strong language. Kys jokes

Chapter: song lyrics (half-written)

Masterlist

———————————————————————————

Yawning, I stood waiting in the corridor, my hands in my pockets as I leaned against the wall. I felt my phone vibrate and immediately took it out of my pocket. I responded to Yunjin's messages right away and then headed to the chat with my... girlfriend? As expected, she had read the messages but hadn't replied.

So, sighing, I put my phone back in my pocket. My eyes then landed on a group leaving the dance studio. Almost immediately, I heard my name and looked over to see a bundle of joy. I smiled as she threw herself into my arms. "Hello, Danielle," I said with a light laugh as I felt her arms around me and her head against my chest.

My eyes also quickly noticed the rest of the group. "What are you all doing here?" I asked, a bit surprised. Hyein tried to pull Danielle away from me to hug me too. "The dance studio is better here," Haerin answered, and I nodded in understanding.

My eyes then fell on Hanni and Minji. My eyebrows raised when I noticed Hanni's hand on Minji's hip, while Minji seemed to be having a visible gay panic. I quickly focused on Hyein so I wouldn't laugh at my best friend.

I wrapped my arms around her, too, embracing the taller girl. "But what are you doing here?" Hanni asked, removing her hand from Minji's Hip, which seemed to relax the tense woman immediately. I chuckled, "I'm meeting Yunjin here," I replied, and Hyein immediately looked at me questioningly, "Aren't you with Chaewon?" she asked, clearly confused.

A sigh escaped me as I broke the embrace. Straightening my sweater, I cleared my throat. "I'm here to work," I said, and almost simultaneously, everyone, except Minji, made an understanding sound.

However, Haerin had been staring at me the whole time. Smiling, I looked at the younger girl, but my head turned to another person who seemed to be lying on the floor. My eyes widened as I saw the scattered sweets and drinks on the floor, and of course, I saw Yunjin. She didn't even move. She just lay there with her face pressed against the floor.

With a furrowed brow, I approached the woman lying on the floor. My hands, once again, in my pockets, I tapped her slowly with my shoe. "Hey," I said, nudging her slightly. "Are you dead?" I asked, almost bored.

The Newieans members struggled not to laugh, except for Hanni, who burst into laughter. I heard Yunjin sigh. "Come on. Get up," I continued, and honestly, it was somewhat fun to kick the older woman.

With a jerk, Yunjin sat up on her knees and glared up at me. "Help me up!" she demanded, which made me snort. Amused, I took her outstretched hands and pulled her to her feet. She brushed the dust off her clothes muttering quietly, "You didn't have to kick me. I'm your unnie. You could've helped me up. Don't look so amused. Rude," she said softly, which made me laugh again. I rolled my eyes playfully. "Yeah, yeah," I said dismissively, waving my hand.

Yunjin huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. I sighed and began to put the drinks into the pockets of my sweatpants and the snacks into the pouch of my sweater. Haerin and Danielle helped me.

Hanni, however, was by Yunjin's side, murmuring something to her. Right, they were friends….

My eyes fell on Minji, who clapped her hands once. "Come on, guys. Let's go eat," the oldest member of Newieans said. Immediately, Hyein jumped in the air happily and stood by Minji's side. I smiled and said goodbye to my best friend's members with a smile.

Haerin, however, just stared at me without saying anything. My brow furrowed in question. "Just hug her already," I heard Minji say annoyed as she let out a loud sigh. With the realization that Haerin just wanted to hug me, I grinned widely and stretched out my arms. Haerin was hesitant and rather slow as she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me.

Smiling, I stroked her head as I visibly relaxed. Unfortunately, all the sweets and drinks were in the way. "Come on already," Hyein said loudly as the Newieans members slowly walked away. Haerin smiled briefly at me and Yunjin and then followed her members.

———————————————————————————-

„So, to be honest, I've been thinking about it," I heard Yunjin say as I was setting the drinks and sweets on the table. My eyes fell on her notebook, which she always carried around with her. A smile spread across my lips as I looked at the older woman and then sat down. "Then show me," I replied, and Yunjin hesitated visibly.

"I haven't come up with a proper melody yet because I didn't want to work too far ahead, so I've only written down a few lyrics," Yunjin explained, and I simply nodded. I grabbed the bottle of Coke and opened it. "Read it out loud," I said. "I can imagine it better when I hear it," I explained, which made both of us laugh awkwardly.

Yunjin looked at her notebook and then back at me. She swallowed and lifted her notebook into her hands, her eyes focused only on me. "Met a lot of people, but nobody feels like you," Yunjin started slowly, her voice slightly shaky. I nodded my head, completely forgetting about the Coke as I just looked into her eyes.

"Please don't break my heart. Don't tear me apart. Trust me, I've been broken before," Yunjin continued. Nervously, I bit my lip as I started to nod slowly. My eyes focused solely on her. It was silent between us. Neither of us said anything else. My eyes wandered over her entire face, soaking in every tiny detail.

Yunjin cleared her throat, bringing us back to reality. "Okay. Uh... yeah," I said as I cleared my throat as well. "But isn't that... a bit too emo?" I asked, lightly laughing. But honestly, I didn't feel like laughing at all. Yunjin laughed too, but her laughter also sounded forced.

"I have something else, but... it's a bit cheesy," Yunjin said, and I nodded. "Doesn't matter. Show me," I replied, and Yunjin cleared her throat again. Her eyes focused only on her notebook as her cheeks visibly reddened.

"Gonna keep me young when we're old and grey," Yunjin began, a small smirk playing on her lips. Her eyes danced over the letters and lit up. I licked my lips once, the open Coke still in my hand as I simply stared at the woman beside me. My chest felt warm, and I could feel every single beat of my heart.

"I know that time moves on but some things don't change. I won't stop getting butterflies," Yunjin said again, her eyes wandering to me. "I got 'em every time I look into your eyes," Yunjin said, her breath audible as her voice became softer. "You won't stop... running through my mind," Yunjin said gently. My mouth slightly open.

"Let's get married in Vegas."

Her hand now on my cheek as she looked deep into my eyes. My hand, still holding the bottle of Coke, slowly placed it on the table. I looked into her eyes deeply, my lips slightly parted as my eyes moved to her lips.

"I don't wanna think it through."

I could feel Yunjin's thumb stroking my cheek as she came closer to me with her face. Her eyes half-opened as she focused on my lips. I felt her breath slowly spreading on my skin. Her lips only centimeters away from mine. My heartbeat skyrocketed. My face flushed, and my breath quickened.

I felt her lips brushing against mine, and just before they connected, I pulled back. My eyes widened, and I breathed heavily. Yunjin's eyes widened too, and her hand moved away from my cheek. "Oh... Oh my god," Yunjin said, looking at me with wide eyes. "I-I'm sorry, I... I didn't mean to. Well, I did, but..." the older woman said, visibly confused. Her face was bright red.

[genderkoolaid]

yeah im a aro-spec lesbian and ive literally been told that im 'reinforcing the predatory lesbian stereotype' bc i still sleep w/ ppl even tho im not really interested in dating rn. it doesnt matter that there are plenty of other lesbians that have casual sex, but apparently thats fine since they can fall in love but its bad when i do it bc im just 'using ppl' and 'have commitment issues'. even tho the women i sleep w/ all know and are fine w/ there not being any potential romance. but yeah amatonormativity totally isnt a problem in the lesbian community 🙄

yeah godddd even in queer spaces im super hesitant about being openly aro. cause casual sex/FWB is all fun and quirky when you're assumed to be allo and will eventually get a romantic partner/view casual sex as a gateway to romance. but if you are openly aro and want casual sex/FWB/sexual friendship/etc. then you are reinforcing stereotypes/internalized homophobia/traumatized/commitment issues/a heartless slut preying on allo people (who have feelings while we don't because we're incapable of love or being hurt!)

i think a lot of allo people don't understand that there is a difference in how people treat someone whose "taking a break from dating/sex to focus on themself" or "just having fun and letting off steam" and an aro/ace person just. existing and doing anything at all. if i told people i was taking a break from dating pr wasn't looking for anything serious right now they'd be totally chill, but say i don't feel romantic attraction, never want a romantic relationship and my ideal relationship is "friends with benefits"? suddenly they treat me like i'm a dr. phil guest.

and its bitterly ironic for the exact reason you mentioned: allos accuse us of "leading people on" and tend to assume we're going to be somehow toxic or abusive or predatory in relationships. and so we'll be so painfully clear about what we want and don't want and get confirmation that its okay a million times.... and then our allo lovers will get mad at us for not being okay with things we explicitly said we weren't okay with, and for not falling in love despite our explicit explanation that we don't fall in love.

[eeldritchblast]

Thoughts on Halsin

I want to preface this by saying I don't have anything particularly against Halsin as he is in game. But I do find him lacking in depth, when compared to everyone else.

Even without knowing that he was added as a full companion last minute, I would probably have guessed as much simply because there's not much to him beyond the role he plays in the Shadow-Curse quest of Act 2. This is lampshaded with dialogue about how he himself feels consumed by his determination to end the curse. But to me, that just feels like a cop-out. Imagine any other character looking at the camera and just saying "yeah I know I don't have much character beyond what happens to me in the plot, too bad?"

But I think the worst crime about his lack of development, is the fact that because he doesn't have a lot else going on, he feels a little overly sexualized to me; like he's just there for the player to thirst after because he's this big, bulky man. Now, to be clear, I don't care that he's horny, and I definitely don't care that he's poly. (My GF is a poly lesbian, and honestly I could see myself having more than one romantic relationship , too, if someone else was ever interested in me like that and cool with it.) What I'm trying to say is, because he's lacking in other areas, leaving those traits being of his few you can list, it makes them feel of less value, and makes him feel more like a sex prop. And if you're gonna have a character with rape victim as part of his background like Halsin has, then that's the last thing you want, I think.

So, what more could be done with Halsin?

I once made a joke that someone should draw Halsin in a "Big Auntie Energy" shirt. For those of you who aren't Native, let me try to translate: In most if not all Indigenous Nations, we often call women who are champions of our cultures and communities "Auntie", whether they are actually literally your aunt or not. An Auntie is someone you dearly love, and trust to guide you. Halsin already plays something of a mentor figure to the protagonist—indeed, dev notes even call him "avuncular"—so why not lean into it further by showing what he does for others, too? Pretending that there was more development time allotted, here's what I would've liked to see...

"This place crawls with life, but little of it flourishes. I see refugees, unhoused. The destitute, unwanted. Orphans, unloved. … I wish there was a better way. I wish everyone could see the sun, have a full belly, and know nature as a friend. There is a balance that is yet to be found." —Halsin

After ending the Shadow-Curse, Halsin says he needs to find a new purpose. I feel like his purpose could easily align with his horror of the inequalities of Baldur's Gate. Instead of just talking about how awful it is, why not allow the player to challenge him to try and change things, then? For example, I like to imagine Halsin telling stories to the orphans in Rivington, providing them comfort and someone to look up to. Or another example: Halsin helping out in or maybe starting some kind of charity meal program. It's small, but it's enough to say that he could actually grow a little as a person within the game's story. And it would add at least a little bit of engagement on the player's end as well, instead of feeling like the relationship with Halsin, platonically, is one-sided.

This all doesn't come from nowhere, by the way. If you exclusively romance Halsin, he says goodbye to the player in the end because he is leading a group of people into Thaniel's realm to start a new life. But personally, I feel like this is too great a leap back into an Archdruid role he specifically rejected, because he didn't like it. It also would've been nice to get this kind of dialogue without having to romance him; to know what lies ahead for Halsin as a friend, too.

Now, that's the good ending. But almost all the companions in BG3 have a "good" and "evil" ending. I feel like this really adds a lot of insight into the characters, because they feel real through it; we all have the potential to make good and bad choices, after all. So what could be Halsin's evil-aligned ending? Well, remember when he questions if the Shadow Druids actually have a point? How about giving the player the opportunity to push him further down that path instead... Shadow Druid Halsin, holy shit.

Now, there's one more thing I want to circle back to: Halsin's past. He very casually speaks of his time as a captive in the Underdark. And maybe it was so long ago that he's long dealt with such trauma, but still, I really wish there was a way to say "hey bud, that's really fucked up and I'm sorry that happened to you." But there's not a single dialogue option that allows you to express sympathy, besides just saying "that's awful", which doesn't cut it. Halsin himself says, "sometimes I think people look at me and imagine my feelings can't be hurt." Not allowing the player to be sensitive to his feelings goes exactly against this message not to judge a person's emotions by physical appearances.

Anyway, Halsin is a character that I think has a lot of potential, but doesn't quite reach it in game. I think it's great that he was given a bigger role due to popularity, but I just wish that role was expanded on to the same degree as the other companions.

[creedslove]

SHARING YOU

Post outbreak!Joel Miller x f!bisexual reader x Tess

Summary: Tess can have any girl in Jackson, but she wants you, Joel's girl and the only way that can happen is the three of you getting into an arrangement

Warnings: queer!Tess, bisexual!reader, smut, mentions of threesome F/F/M, dirty talk, jealous!Joel, a little bit of voyeurism, lesbian sex, scissoring, smut with no plot

A/N: besties I don't even know where that came from, I mean, I don't even like Tess in the show let alone find her hot but I had a real dirty dream about it and the idea got stuck with me all day long

1.7k words

Tess and Joel weren't a couple, they were partners in crime or, as they liked to call, at work.

You and Joel were a couple, sort of, you were in love with him, he might be in love with you, but he wouldn't admit it, however he made clear you were his.

Tess wasn't in love with you and you weren't in love with her, but she was in love with your body and after a night of drinking and flirting with you, she got the balls and went to talk to Joel: she wanted to share you with him.

He laughed. Truly laughed not believing her words at first. He thought she was joking, but when Tess didn't flinch a muscle and waited for the answer, lips didn't even twitch in a smile, Joel swallowed hard. The woman was dead serious.

He didn't understand why she wanted his girl, you were his. It was established from the beginning, from the moment he lay eyes on you, he knew you would be his, and you wanted to be his. Tess never had any problem finding herself some pussy, she often did it easier than Joel if anyone asked - not that he would admit it out loud. Even when they were back in the QZ, and now in Jackson? Of course it was a smaller community and women didn't seem so desperate for easy sex like they were in Boston, but he was sure Tess could get as many drunk girls at the bar as she desired, women who claimed to be straight but died of curiosity to try things with another woman, or even some bored housewife who would like to live a dirty fantasy. So why his girl? Why you? It was a big no.

Tess sighed and licked her lips, staring at Joel "come on, don't you really wanna see your girl with another one? We can get to an agreement… you watch. Or participate" she suggested.

And that caught Joel's attention.

So the two of them began discussing their agreements.

Joel would have to be present at all times it happened, he could either watch it or participate in it. Tess came to the point of telling Joel he could stick his cock in her if he didn't stop her from doing anything she wanted with your cunt.

And you stood right there, a few feet away listening to everything those assholes were talking about you as if you weren't in the room, or worse, as if you were their little pet.

A part of you got infuriated at that audacity, they discussed who would fuck you, on what terms they would fuck you without even asking your opinion, assuming you would just go with it. However, another part of you couldn't control the warmth in your lower belly, it was so outrageous, so dirty and yet, you felt a slick warmth in your panties. You couldn't believe yourself when you saw how turned on you got at those two motherfuckers wanting to use you as a sex doll.

But they did it, and against any better judgment you loved every minute of it.

And it became a regular thing, usually weekends, when things were calmer, work wasn't so demanding and the three of you could enjoy yourselves.

However, Joel came up with another rule: Tess didn't sleep in the same bed as the two of you did, rule of course, she often disrespected.

It just made sense to her: if Joel got to sleep with his boner poking your ass, she had the right to sleep with her pussy rubbing against your thigh. And you? Always slept safely between the two of them. You couldn't say you didn't like your arrangement, cumming with Joel was good, but it was also good with Tess, it was different, her touches were different from his, there was something about being with another woman and something about Joel watching the two of you. You knew he liked it, no matter how hard he tried to hide and pretend he didn't, it just made him hard in an obscene way and he couldn't get enough of it. Even if the sting of jealousy still bothered him, the lust was bigger and it always topped that.

He knew your heart belonged to him and no one else's, no matter if Tess made you cum as hard as he did, she wouldn't be the one you clung to at night, nor the one she would bake apple pies like a cute and docile housewife, and he liked that. At the end of the day, no matter if you were shared in bed, you were still his, his girl, his everything, and Tess couldn't get a hold of that.

He woke up in the middle of the night still a little confused as the sleep haze made his memories of the night before blurry. Or it was the amount of alcohol he had, but he didn't care, as soon as the images of you whimpering, legs spread as Tess ate you out at the same time you had his cock shoved deep into your throat, he smirked. Or when you switched positions and ate Tess out - you were quite inexperienced at first, but with time you got the hang of it. You had even confessed to Joel you enjoyed doing it, and you understood why he enjoyed burying his face into your cunt so many times during the week.

He loved the finally fuck you while you were on your knees, your hands gripping Tess's hips to keep her in place as you flicked her clit up and down, suckling on it and loving the way her pussy gushed and her juices soaked your chin.

Joel wasn't so sure about the deal in the beginning, but now he couldn't deny he enjoyed seeing you unleash yourself and act like a sexually free woman. It was hot, Joel really loved it.

What he didn't love was when Tess still intruded after everyone was satisfied and stayed in your shared bed. He watched her, hair sprawled all over her face and groaned, displeased to see her so close to you.

His hand on your stomach pulled you closer to his body, enough so Tess would raise her head and roll her eyes "I'm not gonna bite off any slice of her, you know…" she said annoyed to which he only scoffed "she's mine, you had some now get out" his voice was a grumbling purr and you finally stirred, groaning on your own as the two of them didn't shut up.

You rubbed your eyes "why can't you two just stay quiet? I didn't hear any of you complain when I made you cum… at the same time" you said.

"Because she won't leave when it's time for her to leave" Joel groaned like a jealous child.

"I haven't left because I'm still horny" Tess immediately replied and looked down at you, her hands going for your hips, stroking them softly "we could go for a second round, couldn't we princess?" She licked her lips and looked at you, but Joel's hand immediately snapped hers away from your skin.

"Come on Joel, wouldn't you want to see us rubbing clits together? The way her slippery pussy rubs against mine, our clits hard and wet, all of that… what do you say, Joel? And you, Y/N?"

You could tell Joel was a little jealous and a little bothered, but you felt another wave of lust hitting you. Enough to sit straight in bed and turn on the lamp on the nightstand.

You bit your lips and smiled "mmm I think I'll like that… would you like to watch, Joel?" You asked him, going for his neck, kissing it as your hand caressed his cheek, feeling his scruffy beard under your touch.

He sighed a little annoyed, though the way you opened your legs immediately caught his attention. Joel sat straight in bed, pulling you to his lap, if you were going to fuck Tess you would do it while rubbing against his cock as well.

He positioned you on his lap, helping you keep your legs wide open while Tess came closer like a predator. The man's fingers went down your naked body, finding your pussy lips and spreading them.

He couldn't believe how wet you already were, and it would definitely make him more jealous if he weren't already turned on by it.

"Mmm take a look at this pretty cunt, your pussy is so pretty baby, your clit drives me crazy" Tess praised, kissing your thigh and spreading herself for you to see.

You bit your lips, watching her pussy, it was so soft and her clit was big, which you found out it was a huge turn on for you. Joel's digits found your clit, rubbing it gently, using your wetness on it, making it harder and slippery.

You whimpered as Joel held your lips spread apart, at the same time Tess came closer. She was a lot better at scissoring than you were, so she always took the lead.

Approaching you, she placed her leg on top of your thigh, enjoying the fact your hips were up thanks to Joel's lap.

Her clit finally touched yours. It was hot and wet and it sent a shiver of pleasure down your spine. You moved your hips slowly at first, Joel's hands helping your pick up your pace as Tess rubbed herself against you.

If you were wet before, now you were simply soaked. The obscene sounds of your both cunts against each other's, the way your clit was rubbing against Tess and how you moaned as your orgasm approached filled the room.

You wanted to speed up the pace, not getting enough friction, so you tackled Tess back, pushing her against the mattress as you got off Joel's lap and climbed on her, fastening the pace, riding her pussy as fast as you would Joel's cock.

You were so full of pleasure, the knot in your lower belly was intense, and the moment you felt Tess's legs shake and how wet she immediately got once she moaned louder, you let it go yourself.

Cumming on top of her, you could feel your juices mixed running down her thighs.

Looking back at Joel, you smirked. His cock was rock hard, and he needed your attention now.

You would have a long night ahead of you, it was always like that when you were Joel's and Tess's fuck doll.

_____

A/N: 😳🪭

[thefirsthogokage]

Someone just tagged me and was like "what's the TIRF to TERF pipeline?! I want to avoid going down the transphobe path!" ... but then they apparently blocked me.

After all the work I put into that post, I couldn't save the post, because, like I said, they apparently blocked me. So, here's how they do it covertly, including how they start with convincing people that sex work is inherently bad, and not infact work...which is what this person said in another post. So, I guess they don't get to learn about that.

Anywho, it's all covert.

TERFs actually love going into places (without marking themselves as TERFs or even radfems/gender critical), then saying things that slowly edge people into hating trans individuals. Maybe it starts with purity culture and talking down sex work. Maybe it starts with being anti-kink amor anti-ship. Maybe it starts with being anti all men, (saying that only men uphold the patriarchy is definitely one of their big things).

Bottom line: they start getting you to hate people, particularly people who do things of their own consent, or get you to start not liking groups of marginalized people. They start saying "this is wrong," putting some sort of moral emphasis on something consensual being inherently wrong or bad. Or maybe they start complaining about a group of people. Whatever way the do it, it's not always obvious what their true beliefs are

They start chipping away at what groups they think should not have the right to do whatever they want, or present in whatever way they want, because it doesn't fit their view of what's right.

(let me be very clear here: I am in NO WAY talking about p*dos. Fuck them.)

They do this more and more and more, and eventually, down that line, they end up whittling who should have the power down to only cishet white Christians.

Yes, this is the pipeline. It's been proved. There are charts.

They get minority groups to turn on each other, and that let's those hard right Christian White guys to get what they want: no one but them, and white women they can force to have their children. This includes lesbians turning on the trans community. People turning on asexuals, telling them they aren't real. People being bi- and panphobic. Etc.

It's a pipeline. It's talked about. The research is out there, but I am unable to pull up anything at the moment.

Just wanted to get that out.

[joonliebe]

This is going to be a little rant about something I have personally noticed in my own community and I think it should be talked about

If a gay man doesn’t want to date a trans man and a lesbian woman doesn’t want to date a trans woman then that doesn’t necessarily mean they are transphobic!

Now let me go into further detail about my statement.

It’s not wrong to have a preference in body types when pursuing a relationship. Just because a gay man won’t date a trans man doesn’t mean he doesn’t see you as a man (same goes for lesbians with trans women)

I’m not sure how bottom surgery works exactly so I can’t speak on that part but if a lesbian is lesbian because of the fact that she just doesn’t like having sexual relationships with those with the opposite genitalia then she shouldn’t be shamed for not wanting to be in a relationship with a trans woman.

Unless the individual specifically states that the reason why they don’t want to date transgender people is because they don’t see them as real men/women then they are not transphobic

And this goes for straight people too. Unless a straight person specifically says that they won’t date a trans person because they’re not real men/women then they shouldn’t be labeled as transphobic.

This happens a lot more than people think and it goes farther than just straight people. It goes into our community as well and it breaks the one thing that we as a lgbtq+ community stands for and that is to be accepted no matter our preference.

As a gay trans ftm individual myself I know it can be disappointing to find out that another gay man would want to date me because I don’t physically have the same genitalia as my gender however in the long run I will survive and find another. I rather a man to be open and tell me that he doesn’t like the opposite genitalia so that he doesn’t feel pressured into a relationship where he would be uncomfortable when having sexual intercourse and or not want to have sexual intercourse.

That brings me down to my last point

As a transgender individual you should make it clear to the person that you want to be in a relationship with (if gay, straight, or lesbian) ahead of time so you don’t end up in the wrong situation.

Unfortunately not all people would handle finding out their partners are the opposite biological sex of their attraction and may act aggressively (this would be obvious transphobia).

On a non violent note if that person turns out to not want to be in a relationship with you because your genitalia is not something that they seek in a relationship however they do still see you as a man/woman then don’t take it personally because you can always still be friends with them even if it’s awkward for a little bit the awkwardness is only temporary and will only last the longer you stay on the thought that the person doesn’t seek a relationship with you because your genitalia. Instead think of the fact that despite you not having your gender anatomy you are still a man/woman

If you have any questions or are unsure what I mean by something please ask me. Do not assume something if I haven’t specifically stated it because that is disrespectful to me and uncalled for.

[ginger-grimm]

Another year has passed and though most of us live out our Pride all year round, it's officially our month to celebrate (almost). I've attempted this once before and unfortunately became too busy to finish it. This time things will be different. I've had an awful two months and it's time to turn stuff around. So please, join me in making some gifts for each other's OCs once again and make this month even more fun than it already is!

As a disclaimer, because I don't want to get too anxious about it again. I will only post your gift once you've posted one for me! It's happened a few too many times that people sent in either forms that aren't filled out properly or never posted a gift and I let it slide because I'm historically too nice (aka no backbone disease). I don't mean to sound like a nag and if you don't feel like editing you don't have to sign up or anything, that's why I do the polls. Anyways, your gift then you get mine.

The Rules and regulations are simple, but they exist nonetheless, so here they are:

The exchange, for now, is open until July 1st, though I may extend it who knows *Kevin James meme*

You may make 1-2 requests, but hey, I will probably reblog it saying you can make more once no one requests anything *Kevin James meme intensifies*

Please reblog this post to spread some awareness, please. You can like for remembrance but just a like doesn't count (you already know this, I know my 5 regulars who come here every time)!

As aforementioned, this is open to my regular drunks and new patrons alike, so please do not be shy. Think of me as I think of birds, I am more scared of you than you are of me.

Fill out the form linked below and find the password in the form!

Please only send me faceclaims with good quality and plenty of material to use. Also, no cartoon characters. Video game characters are all right if it's motion capture. I'm not trying to discriminate, it can just be really tough for me to find material for cartoons, animes, video games, etc. as I edit by making little video clips first blah blah blah. However, if you slide in my DMs we might be able to discuss some stuff.

Please, please, please fill out all the columns I need and choose at least two gift options. It makes it infinitely easier for me to make something for you. Just remember I can't read minds and it's worse when I can't find anything in your blogs.

Remember the pleases and thank you's, pleases and thank you's make my heart grow fond.

I don't do Harry Potter OCs or Stranger Things OCs and while I don't have a specific list of FCs I don't use, I ask that you do not request anything for overtly problematic actors, thank you!

I accept pretty much any gift in return, it can even be story reviews or playlists for people who don't/can't edit themselves. If it's a story review, please let me know in the form so I know you did as I don't check my accounts every day.

I'm fine with gifts for any of my OCs - my master list as well as the link to my Pinterest is in my pinned post.

Obviously, since this is a Pride exchange, please only send in LGBTQ+ OCs. Gay, lesbian, bi, pan, trans, etc. anything from the LGBTQ community - this excludes kinks and whatnot, obviously.

FOR ANY OTHER QUESTIONS OR CONCERNS FEEL FREE TO SEND ME A MESSAGE AND I WILL TRY TO CLEAR EVERYTHING UP!

SEND IN THE PRIDEFUL FORM HERE, HERE HERE HERE, DO IT HERE, NOWHERE ELSE JUST HERE

TAGLIST: @eddysocs ​ @ocs-supporting-ocs @foxesandmagic @veetlegeuse @decennia @hiddenqveendom @arrthurpendragon @luucypevensie @nikosasaki @noratilney @wordspin-shares @oneirataxia-girl @endless-oc-creations @lucys-chen @andromedalestrange @forchrissy @daughter-of-melpomene @bibaybe

[orkbutch]

So I've been seeing A Viewpoint within the bg3 fandom occuring. And I gotta be honest. I disagree that the characters being bisexual in Baldur's Gate 3 means you cannot headcanon them as other sexualities for your own fandom content purposes. I think that's not reflective of how queer people and their sexual identities actually work, and its just antithetical to how fandom has always functioned, which is an exercise of imagination. I wanna clarify up front: I agree that someone saying that a character Can't or Shouldn't or Was Not Meant To Be bisexual because of whatever reason IS biphobic sentiment. The characters in Baldur's Gate 3 are canonically bi/pan, thats made pretty damn clear when you look through all their content. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about headcanons, au's; the kind of imaginitve play that is very much what fandom creativity is about. If you set a standard in fandom that depicting a character as a certain sexuality is Not Allowed, 1. you're kinda flattening sexuality in a weird way, like personally my sexuality is complicated as fuck and has changed over time, and 2. you're limiting creativity. And I think creativity in fandom is extremely important. It's the whole fun of fandom. Creativity is worth protecting and its worth establishing the nuance between Depicting A Version of Character who is X and Insisting That Character Should Be X in canon. Because like... we meddle with character's identities in fandom all the time. That's what headcanons ARE, they change appearance, social position, career, faith, species, traumatic experience, moral and political alignment, and SO much more. I think limiting what people can headcanon within fandom... is less fun! It's just less fun. Imaginative scope lets you do more, weird fun stuff. It lets you depict more complex interesting characters. Example: my Bad Nun AU. In that, Shadowheart identifies as a lesbian. Why is that? Because I wanted Shadowheart's experience within Bad Nun to specifically explore the history and context of lesbians within nunneries, especially how that manifested post Vatican II. These were also eras when 'lesbian' was more ubiquitos, had a different context and more flexibility; a lot of women that would probably consider themselves 'bisexual' now were identifying as lesbians, were in lesbian communities and events and spaces.

On that note: Flattening sexuality. You're gonna say people CANNOT depict these characters as ANYTHING but bisexual? That is not how most queer people's sexualities work. It simply isn't. I've identified as tons of different shit in my sexuality. I'm still not sure about it. For me half the time my "sexual identity" is just the words I use to communicate what I'm looking for, and that changes depends on What I Want at that time, what I'm looking to explore, my social context, ect. ect. like what. This isn't how sexuality works for real people. How are artists meant to be Creative and imaginatively depict real, complex, queer sexuality if they are restricted to depicting only what is within canon?? This is not how any other part of fandom works. Fandom art should work how all art works. If someone makes shit art, it gets dunked on and ignored for being bad or lazy or lame. If someone did Heterosexual Karlach fanfic, I would be like "what the fuck why" because they made Karlach less fucking cool. Het Karlach would be boring and thats More Egregious because they DECIDED to make her heterosexual DESPITE canon. But even then, EVEN THEN, I don't think that should be looked at as off limits shit, because I don't believe art should have many things off limits. Any limits must be very nuanced, because art and creativity is nuanced. Obviously my brain would go "het karlach? you deserve jail time and thats queerphobic", but I honestly believe creative license is more important than those feelings. I WOULD happily comment on their thing, "heterosexual karlach is boring, thats a shit idea" because I'm right

If you want good art and good writing, you need to protext creative license.

[fists-on-up]

I started this blog when Twitter looked like it was going down so I could keep up with my gaylor friends. Most of them are still on Twitter, but as a writer I am a wordy motherfucker & I hate character limits. So, rather than let this blog lay dormant I am going to use it for more personal gaylor related things & more abstract/complex perspectives.

I might as well start by explaining how I stumbled upon the gaylor community because I feel like my journey here was much different than most.

I am a little older than Taylor & have mostly listed to rock & EDM my whole life. I don't hate pop, but I don't really seek it out & I don't care much about trends or pop culture. I had heard the most popular Taylor Swift songs in passing. I didn't hate Taylor at all, I just never looked further into her music.

I do vaguely remember feeling like YBWM sounded very much like being in love with your high school best friend who doesn't consider you an option because you're a girl, and as a Shakespeare obsessed lesbian Love Story pinged the ol' gaydar because forbidden love is way more common for queer people. It's not impossible, though, for a girl's family to not approve of a particular boy so I chalked it up to a specific situation she faced coupled with me viewing lyrics through my own (very gay) experiences. Especially given the fact that Romeo & Juliet tends to be referenced often based upon a very surface-level understanding of the story.

These thoughts did stick with me subconsciously, as it turns out. One day I was listening to a Spotify generated playlist I was really digging and Don't Blame Me came on while I was in the shower. I thought "Wow, this is a very sexy, Sapphic song who the hell is this??" I checked when I got out of the shower & was so confused. I LOVED it and listened to it frequently, but it still hadn't clicked completely.

Then I heard only the bridge to Cruel Summer in a TikTok & said "Oh my God, she's gay!" I immediately recognized how painful & difficult it is to play the part of "friends" in public and the sense of doom that comes with realizing you're in love with a girl while closeted. If you've never had that experience, I envy you. How we treat people we're in love with isn't really planned out, it's automatic. Trying to catch that & substitute "friendly" behavior when you don't even know HOW to be her friend is very hard. It's hard to not feel insecure when the woman you love treats you like a friend, too. It's hard to hide the love and the pain if you wear your heart on your sleeve. In short, it's torture. A unique torture you can only really describe or recognize if you've experienced it. I have, and immediately knew Taylor had too.

As soon as this clicked I immediately devoured her entire discography over & over again. For days it was all I did, starting before I got out of bed and ending when I fell asleep with a notepad on my bed listening to evermore (again). I was 100% certain she is queer before I ever Googled "Taylor Swift gay?". I didn't even know there was lore or a community at first.

I didn't just recognize her queerness because I'm queer, however. I recognized it because I'm a writer. Not by profession. By passion, I suppose. And what really made it clear was what Taylor doesn't say.

I realized I was gay when I was 14 years old and when I did I wasn't scared, I was excited. I had come to the conclusion that the entire world was just... faking it. Girls would kiss boys & go on & on about it, almost every song, movie, & book was about love, and I just couldn't relate. I had kissed more than a few boys, but I seriously did not understand. I would pretend to fit in, but it was not at all appealing to me.

Then a friend stayed the night & kissed me. A friend that I wasn't consciously attracted to at all, and yet - fireworks. Suddenly I realized that people weren't exaggerating or lying about attraction & love. I realized that the concept of attraction wasn't merely recognizing that a boy was conventionally attractive, it was attraction like two magnets pulled together. Like gravity. I wasn't broken, the world wasn't a lie, and I was fucking ecstatic about it.

But then I told some close friends and most of them immediately stopped talking to me. Some became hostile. This was around 1999-2000 in Small Town, Texas where there were no out queer people. Looking back I understand that it was just a matter of kids being ignorant and uneducated and, well, kids but at the time it was confusing. I tried to backpedal and told the friends who stayed that I was bisexual. I even tried to be bisexual (spoiler: I am not). The excitement I initially felt quickly turned to fear & I chose to hide it from anyone else.

To cope with the constant overflow of my newly-activated heart and the isolation of having no one who understands, I poured myself into poetry. I started reading Shakespeare at 11 and had read most classical works by the same age. By 14 I had multiple poems published in collections, had read every work of Shakespeare & Poe, and had memorized the Chorus to Romeo & Juliet. Using poetry to cope was kind of my brand. So cope I did.

I wrote thousands of poems. I filled binders & spirals & journals. I was always writing. Most people knew I was published young & knew I was writing like crazy, so it wasn't uncommon for other kids to read what I was working on. Sometimes they'd commission a poem from me.

The fear of anyone finding out (including my parents) meant that I had to be very, very careful with how I worded things. No she/her pronouns. Nothing that would give me away. The occasional red herring. I would be specific enough that the muse would know it was about her, but no one else would.

I almost always wrote to the muse, using "you" more than anything. Poetry is like a love letter, so it comes naturally, but it also prevented the need for gendered pronouns. I wrote that way so much I still default to it now (and I have a hard time NOT pouring my heart out to anyone I care about). I didn't realize it at the time, but my writing was inherently queer coded despite my efforts to conceal it because, well, I'm queer. Sound familiar?

There are simply some things that are upside down when you're queer & you don't even recognize it because you've never NOT been queer. Things you say straight girls wouldn't. Things you don't say that straight girls would. Straight people don't see it because they've never NOT been straight. Hell, queer men won't recognize Sapphic language because they've never been attracted to a woman OR been a woman.

There are subtle, inherent tells separate from intentional tells or flags. I didn't realize that, and neither did the kids (or adults) who read my work semi-regularly.

One day my close friend borrowed my poetry journal to catch up on what I had written. This was an especially vulnerable journal, but it was just as obfuscated as everything else. I thought nothing of it and went about my day.

Hours later, during lunch, I was outside probably bumming a cigarette off of an equally punkass kid or smoking a bit of weed from a pipe crafted out of a soda can when I heard a girl shouting my name. I left the hidden corner and walked to the main area to see a girl I didn't know walking around, calling my name loudly over and over. I called back to her, confused but glad it wasn't a teacher busting me smoking.

When we were finally face to face she confirmed that I am in fact me & I realized that she was holding my journal. She pulled me to a more secluded area, looked me in my eyes, and said "these are about girls, right?"

Fuck.

Shit.

Fuck shit.

I was a sophomore. 15 years old. She was a senior. A beautiful black girl named Lovely who I only knew of because it was a small school. And here she was just... straight up asking me. No one had ever asked me before. I had never had to answer this question before. I was caught off guard & wholly unprepared for this.

The closet is an awful place when you hate lying.

So, I didn't lie. For some reason I looked right into this girl's eyes and reluctantly, fearfully, said "Yes." Then I held my breath.

But she didn't laugh at me, didn't call me a dyke, didn't preach at me. She just... fucking cried.

This lovely girl named Lovely completely broke down in front of me, a complete stranger, and I did not realize what was happening.

Turns out Lovely wasn't just lovely, she was queer. And scared. And so, so lonely. She thought she was the only one, until she heard what my poetry didn't say. She recognized the inherent queerness in my writing because she identified with it and immediately came to find me.

I consider that conversation to be one of the most pivotal, defining interactions of my life. The entire time I thought I was alone & Lovely was there. Lovely thought she was alone & I was there, and I suddenly realized coming out wasn't really about me. It wasn't about the friends and family who would reject me. It was also about being visible. Being brave. Being proud. It was about the other queer kids who thought they were the only one. The other kids who couldn't come out. With this realization, from this conversation, I found purpose.

The very next day, Lovely came to school in baggy jeans and a basketball jersey - a huge departure from the very feminine presentation she always had. We never talked about it again, just exchanged fond smiles and nods in the hallway, but she came out to some extent. I came out within a week of our conversation, and I made a conscious decision that I was going to be loud about it.

My mom was great when I came out & I knew she'd have my back. Before the word "privilege" was commonplace, I at least understood that my supportive mom gave me an advantage others didn't have. I felt like I had not only the ability but the responsibility to be visible and unapologetic.

I was a rebellious little shit. I would make out with girls in the hallway. I lined the inside of my locker with Playboy pictures. I wrote "gay" on my forehead in hot pink lipstick when I got sick of being asked if I was "fully gay".

As a result, the varsity quarterback would call me in tears to talk through his struggles with his sexuality. I knew the most popular boys all of the girls wanted were actually very in love with each other. Girls who would laugh along with their friends who called me a dyke would hook their fingers into mine when they passed me in the hallway & pull me into dark rooms at parties when no one was looking.

I became the keeper of secrets. Society makes queer people lie & uses the guilt of that "deception" to keep people closeted. We lie to ourselves, then to everyone else, then to all but a few trusted people, then even when we're out we lie on behalf of others. I still hold secrets, even for those who don't "deserve" my loyalty. It's part of it, like an unspoken code. Closeting is lying, whether we like that or not. But lying is morally neutral. Intent & impact matter.

That time of my life was hard. Teachers would treat me differently. One flat out told me I would go to hell in front of the class. Another refused to intervene when my girlfriend was physically attacked by another girl who was pissed about her dating me. The school tried, for a time, to force me to use the boys locker room so other girls wouldn't feel uncomfortable. The school tried to ban me from taking a girl to prom (even though I was taking a friend, my girlfriend's family wouldn't allow her to go with me). A group of boys chanted "1, 2, 3, 4, death to the lesbian whore" when I got to school every morning. I got in a lot of fist fights. Mostly with that group of boys. Someone broke into my locker and wrote "dyke" all over & inside of my text books in huge magic marker. I remember telling one of my teachers I couldn't read part of an assignment because of it & trying not to cry. I was preached at constantly by kids & a few teachers who saw me as an opportunity to "save a soul". I have a lot of stories.

But you know what? I got the teacher that told me I would go to hell fired. I fought back when they tried to make me use the boys locker room. When they tried to ban me from prom, I printed hundreds of pages of court rulings from cases in which schools tried to do that to other gay kids, stormed into the principal's office, dropped it on her desk and threatened her. I went to prom with my friend. And after I had graduated, my high school girlfriend (who was a grade below me) finally got to take me to hers. A gay boy I'd never met won prom king and he thanked me for it. I didn't even know him, but he knew me. I won every single fist fight. I didn't cry about the slurs written in my books in front of people & I protested when they washed it off of the front of my locker. I wanted it to be the dyke locker. I took everything they gave me with a smile & asked for more, because it showed other kids it was possible. I made myself a lightning rod for hate on purpose, because then the "less problematic" queer kids were seen in a better light. It protected them. It also made sure they knew I was there. And they came to me & I did my best to help. I chased girls & have so many stories about drunken hookups and falling in love. Wild nights & happy days.

Don't get me wrong, I fucked up plenty too. I certainly wasn't a hero, and I put myself in very real danger multiple times. There were a lot of failures & mistakes. There was a lot of pain. But it was absolutely, positively fucking worth it. Despite it all I look back on that time fondly & I'd do it all again in a heartbeat. And I'd do it the same.

That time of my life shaped who I am in every way. I'm still that punkass kid (even though I'm pushing 40 now). Still a fighter who doesn't care how much pain I endure if I'm doing the right thing. And I never would have become that person if a girl named Lovely hadn't picked up on the queer themes in my writing that I wasn't even intentionally adding. So for me, it's kind of serendipitous that the very thing that led me to becoming everything I am today is the thing that I saw & heard in Taylor. That led me to so much beautiful art, beautiful love stories, and beautiful people in the gaylor community that is so, so dear to me now.

It takes one to know one, but sometimes knowing one puts you on the path to knowing yourself.