#and like trying to remember the exact date dicks parents died

[oifaaa]

Can’t wait for Baby Bruce to get a rabid little brother from the circus

I was actually thinking again about the time travel fix it au and why Jason would just let Dicks parents die and well

I think he just forgot

[kaderp]

ALRIGHT FUCKERS THIS IS GONNA BE A HELLA LONG MEGAPOST AS I WAS GIVEN THE OK

BASICALLY this is gonna be a collection of bullshit me and @blackfliesinbluesugar have come up with and drawn

It starts with Goldie still living in Ireland at 17-19 and Scrooge from ages 18-20 staying in Scotland. And long story short they're dumbasses as teens. Cliche forbidden romance type stuff. Goldie's dad has shot people in the foot for trying to mess around with Goldie or just even talk to her for too long. So the only logical explanation they have is make Scrooge hide in the barn when he visits.

Basically Scrooge chills in the barn for a while cause Goldie's the only one that ever really goes in there because she's in charge of all the chores there. Which is where the context of this post is from

After the first time they fooled around Goldie was like 'oh crap what if I got pregnant D:' and told her mom she's going through a phase of flowey/big dresses when in reality she's trying to hide a potential baby bump. Now her mom doesn't care because she's too caught up in the fact that Goldie is finally 'acting like a lady.'

So eventually because they never put together that 'hey, if we keeping doing this we're gonna end up with a baby', Goldie does end up pregnant. And because her dad is a dick and a 'I catch you with my daughter then you die' type of shotgun dad, Goldie is freaking tf out.

About a month after she finds out she's pregnant, the O'Gilt's (well mostly just Goldie and her mom lol) get invited to a fancy dinner and Scrooge is really wanting to see Goldie again. So what better way to see her than to travel to Ireland, steal a uniform, and sneak into said dinner party as a busboy. Problem is he can't risk Goldie's dad seeing him again so he tries to slick back his whiskers

But while Scrooge is running around, he eventually spots Goldie across the room. Now he's never seen her in anything fancy, usually just the flannel and green work skirt. And he just about dies 😭

By now she has a bit of a baby bump she's had to hide so she normally goes for high waisted dresses that immediately flow out.

Anyways, as Scrooge is putting on the uniform he realizes he has absolutely no idea how to actually be a busboy. He doesn't know the first thing about dining and stuff so he's just like AAAAAAA

As they both see each other, Scrooge gives a dorky grin and Goldie smiles before realizing he snuck in. Right when Scrooge goes to see her he gets dumped with a bunch of dishes he has to set. Goldie sees him struggling to figure out how to set a table and he just gives her a nervous grin while she's like 'oh you beautiful dumbass -_-'

She's turning red cause she's trying so hard not to burst out in laughter as Scrooge slips and a bunch of silverware falls on him

He's getting yelled at by the director but he's just giving Goldie a goofy grin from across the room.

Her parents: remember to be calm and not make a scene no matter wh-

Goldie watching Scrooge trip on the tablecloth: BWAHAHA

But as the dinner progresses, Goldie remembers Scrooge doesn't even know she's pregnant. So she keeps trying to tell him but they both constantly get pulled away to do other things.

Towards the end of dinner Scrooge gets a free moment and realizes then that 'holy shit I actually like really love her!' So he darts to wherever she is and is struggling to get it out cause he doesn't know how much time he has left. He eventually spits it out and tells Goldie he loves her and is immediately called away. Scrooge takes her hands and quickly kisses her cheek before running to wherever the director is calling him from.

Goldie is shocked and stays still for a moment but by the time the shock wears off she realizes Scrooge is already long gone and they don't see each other again. And now Goldie's like 'crap crap crap, he said he loves me and I didn't even tell him I'm pregnant.'

They aren't able to communicate for a while cause Goldie's so focused on trying to keep her family pleased while still hiding her baby bump, and Scrooge keeps getting sidetracked and forgetting to write. (You can't tell me that isn't something he'd do because he kept getting distracted in the life and times when coming back home). He has her address, and he has started a letter, and even his family knows about her. 3ish months pass of no communications until one night Goldie starts contractions.

She darts to the barn after the first contraction and realizes she has to do this alone. A letter takes a day to get to Scrooge and going to Scotland herself would take closer to 7 hours. At that point it would be safer to not move.

It's like 3am by the time she lays and the egg ends up being pretty small. The entire time Goldie was just getting sicker and sicker. She ends up too weak to even hide the egg and has a high fever. She seriously thinks she's not gonna make it for the first night she can barely stay conscious.

The next morning she has just enough strength to lazily hide the egg in the hay and sluggishly make her way back to the main house. Her parents are already up and she explains she started feeling iffy while doing chores and collapses.

Because her parents aren't completely heartless and she still is their daughter, her parents' main focus shifts to trying to nurse her back to health. They assume she fell with a bad flu and don't know she had spent all night laying an egg.

During this time she writes to Scrooge telling him to get over here asap, it's an emergency.

Goldie's parents take over her chores in the barn and the moment they said that Goldie went into panic mode again. During a lunch break she climbs through her window and runs to the barn to hide the egg better. She does, and she successfully makes it back to her room but collapses again and sleeps until the next day.

Scrooge arrives 3 days after she lays and now she's really panicking. She's still weak and sick, and her parents are coming closer and closer to finding the egg. Scrooge when he sees her is genuinely freaking out. Not only for the future and that he now has an egg, but because Goldie did it by herself in a dirty barn. She's still a little loopy even though it's been a few days and Scrooge just feels heart broken that he wasn't there to help. He starts going on a tangent about how she could have died but Goldie just kisses him to get him to stop blabbering.

Scrooge helps her clean up a bit cause even with her parents looking after her, she's still a mess. But as he's washing her and the egg up, they hear fighting from the main house. Her parents realized she wasn't in her bed. She starts crying and tells Scrooge he needs to run home asap because if her dad finds out he'll most definitely kill him and/or the baby.

(This was the first doodle for the au before deciding on an exact age/place/look so don't mind the sloppiness)

Scrooge escapes right as her dad comes in. She pulls the excuse of she thought she felt well enough to do chores.

Scrooge rn is running like a madman back to Scotland. He went from chilling with his family to being a father who's child needs to be kept secret within a day.

By the time Scrooge gets back home it's the middle of the night and is ngl feeling pretty overwhelmed. He tells Downy that he messed up and she's just like ??? So Scrooge holds up the egg and Downy just purses her lips like 'ah'

The next morning Scrooge explains to his family what happened and doesn't leave out any detail. Fergus and Downy obviously have mixed feelings. Scrooge is barely 19 yet he already has a kid??? But in the end they realize they can't change what's happened and focus on helping Scrooge protect this child.

Once the baby hatched, all mixed feelings from Downy erased and she just went into 'this is my grandbaby and no one will touch her' mood.

Scrooge and Goldie kept in contact from the moment Goldie gave away the egg. Because of the little incident of Goldie 'trying to do chores while sick,' she was put under close monitoring for the next few months and couldn't visit each other. After constant writing back and forth, they find a date to meet up half way between Scotland and Ireland so Goldie can meet her baby. They try to decide on baby names through the letter but they can't agree on anything. Goldie finds out that Scrooge moved out of his small Glasgow home and into McDuck Castle. He gives her the new location on the map as well.

The first time Scrooge tries to sneak out with the baby Fergus is just standing right outside with his brow arched and Scrooge starts freaking out.

Before Scrooge can apologize for trying to sneak out, Fergus just asks if Scrooge would like him to go with.

Scrooge is a little shocked but can't talk with the frog in his throat and just nods. Along the way Scrooge explains how he and Goldie have been trying to find the right time to sneak out for weeks because it was so hard for Goldie to get free time. She was sent to go across country to get supplies and uses that opportunity to go meet up with Scrooge and the baby again.

Fergus just nods and continues.

When they do see Goldie, she almost breaks down at the sight that the baby survived and is being raised in a good house hold and can't stop holding her. The baby is about 3 months old by now. They finally agreed on a name and she ended up being named Maryanne. (Yes Jelly and I chose that because it means Star of the Sea)

She has to give the baby back to Scrooge cause stupid teenage and still getting over pregnancy hormones are getting the better of her and she starts full on sobbing as she sits on the ground. Scrooge freezes cause he's like aaaaaa what do I dooooo while still holding the baby.

But Fergus crouches down to her and asks if she wants a hug. All Goldie can say is 'uh huh' and he just wraps himself around her. She hugs back and Fergus rocks back and forth until Goldie's calmed down.

'I'm sorry I pulled your son into the mess. I-I was just so scared that my papa w-would kill one of us that I didn't know what else to do.'

Fergus pulls her away so he can actually look at her. And part of him feels that tinge of fear and sadness that the two teens had experienced. He grabs onto her shoulders which causes Goldie to look up at him.

'While I dinnae agree what you two did was right. Ah'm proud of you. Because what you did, finding the will to give up a child for their own safety, took a lotta strength there, lass.' And before she can react, Fergus pulls her in again and let's it sink in.

Scrooge is still holding the baby but now he's sitting down and bouncing the cooing baby on his knee while watching the scene unfold.

Over the course of the next few months, Goldie visits as much as possible and she grows closer to the family and Scrooge every time. On the times she can't visit, Fergus accompanies Scrooge in order to protect them from Goldie's dad. She's had a few close calls with her dad, but nothing too serious

After those events, Goldie practically moves in with the McDucks and they work on raising Maryanne. However like in the Rosa series, they're still experiencing tax trouble and Scrooge says he's gonna have to go to South Africa. The baby is about 2 by now and Scrooge is almost 21, while Goldie is about 19 and a half.

(This next section was an accident but basically it started as jotting down ideas but turned into a fic after I said it would take 20 seconds to write but turned into 2 hours fjdbfndn)

Scrooge is torn between whether or not to go until Goldie says she'll go with him. And because she's stubborn, no one objects. So the three travel across the world together. Maryanne practically grows up on the sea and all of those adventures where Goldie is present in the DT17 Rewriting History book happen.

On adventures they trade off tying the baby to their backs until she's old enough to not need to anymore. Although for the more dangerous ones, one of them stays behind.

But because they weren't married and had a kid in their teens, they were generally looked down upon. It got to the point where they just started saying they were married in order to avoid conflict with others. And after a while they actually forgot they weren't in fact married

'Huh, I forgot we're not actually married.' 'WAIT WE'RE NOT???'

Or

'We're married' 'Oh ok, can i see your marriage records?' '... oh right'

But some old lady or old guy either way starts criticizing Goldie for being a young mother and they just deck the shit outta them and run. Or Goldie fighting someone with baby tied to her back.

Maryanne grows up to be an ocean cartographer and leads sailing expeditions and that's all we have for her. Also she has super blue eyes lol

That's basically almost all of the things we have for this au lol

[dumdumsun]

Forever and Never

A/N: Thank you so much for taking the time to read this series ❤️ I’ve had so much fun writing this and am very proud of and excited for it, I can’t wait to see how people react to this. Um I know there are plenty of warnings for a first chapter, but I promise it’s not as depressing as it sounds. It’s just that this story can deal with heavy stuff sometimes, so I just wanna let you know that. Anyways, hope you enjoy!

Warnings: mentions of marijuana, death, sexual assault and mental illness

Word Count: 3194

—————————————

One: Hi, My Name Is

“So, what was your time in Pennsylvania like?”

“Uh… I’d have to say it was the best… and worst time of my life.”

“Best and worst, huh? Would you like to elaborate?”

“Well, I, uh… I mean, I don’t really know how to, like… explain it. It’s a lot. I don’t even know where to begin… Or how I would even word it or anything.”

“Well, you told me you like television and movies, right? You know those shows and movies where the main character tells the plot as, like, their life story? Maybe you could try that.”

“You aren’t… You aren’t serious, are you?”

“You’ll know when I’m joking, trust me.”

“Oh… Okay, then. Well, um…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi? My name is… (Y/N)? This is my life story, I guess.

So, if we’re going to talk about my life in Pennsylvania, we’re going to have to start with my life in Kansas, first. I had two loving parents that soon turned into one at the too-young age of nine years, when my mom died. I remember her as one of the sweetest people I’ve ever known. She had this way about her that was so carefree, yet she gave a shit about everything. You could never pin a thought to her because she never let you in on what was bouncing around in her head. She was stubborn and patient and lively. I miss her so much. I don’t usually think about her unless it’s a particularly hectic day, which I then resort to talking to the ring I wear on my left pinky finger at all times. Wasn’t anything special, just some cheap ring with a little emerald inside she found at a thrift store. It used to be hers and she’d wear it on the exact same finger. My dad said she’d want me to have it.

My dad is my favorite person. He isn’t the most… present, though. His mind is never set in one place, always racing with hundreds of unrelated thoughts. It’s why when you finally drag him back into reality, he can’t repeat a single sentence spoken to him. Regardless, he’s all I had for a long time. I never really learned what he does for a living, but I just know that it forces him to leave town sometimes. Well, more like all the time. Before my mom died, it was easy for him to leave for weeks on end, but when he became my only guardian, he didn’t really know what to do with me. It was like he completely forgot how to take care of a child, his child. When I turned twelve, that was when he started travelling again. I would then be home by myself for a month to eight weeks. In these times, I had no choice but to learn to cook for myself, go grocery shopping and housekeep. I became pretty independent at a young age. It wasn’t like Dad left me totally alone, though. He would call every two or three days and he sent me two hundred dollars every two weeks. Like I said, I don’t know what my dad did, but he was definitely getting paid. At the end of eighth grade, Dad had a particularly long trip to go on, so he sent me to Pennsylvania, where his sister lived.

Pennsylvania was partially the best part of my life because of my family. My Aunt Pam was like a second mother to me. She was never able to have another child after my cousin Jacob and she’s always wanted a daughter of her own, so that’s what I was to her. The daughter she could never have. I’d often find her staring at me with a bittersweet smile on her face, watching my every move with a sense of pride, but when I’d ask her what was wrong she’d only brush it off as her admiring me. My Uncle David didn’t necessarily view me as a daughter, but he certainly treated me like one. When he wanted to spend time with Jacob, he included me as well. We’d usually go on drives around the town, but I always fell asleep to the soft and serene music that filled the car from the radio. On the weekends, we would head down by the lake and spend hours learning to fish.

I hated it, but I couldn’t complain. It gave me a sense of certainty to live with a father figure who didn’t leave me alone every two or three months.

Jacob was like a brother to me. He’s a year older than me, which, to him, meant that he had to protect me at all costs. I always assumed it was because he always wanted a younger sibling, and I was the closest he was ever going to get to that. I always felt as though I’d never be able to equal Jacob on an intellectual level because he practically had the IQ of Albert Einstein himself. I felt inferior to him until I found out how much of a joy he really was. On the weekends, he would beg me to accompany him in a movie marathon. I learned that Jacob was a huge fan of Tim Burton (his favorite was Beetlejuice). He’s the only cousin I’ve ever known. Mom and Dad didn’t like each other’s families, so I never met anyone besides this little family. Moving in with them meant that they’d have this huge burden on them.

Yes, I almost forgot to mention that I struggle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or OCD. It just means that my mind is flooded with these crazy and unnecessary thoughts and so my behavior is affected by them. For example, if I were to blink and felt I put more pressure on my left eye than my right, I would have to repeatedly wink with my right eye until they felt balanced. Sometimes I can’t enter a room until I have inhaled eight times. If I scratch an itch on my left knee, I have to scratch the right one in the exact same place. At the sink, even if I don’t use both knobs, I have to hold both in my hands. And when I turn them off, I often have to check about four times before I am certain they’re turned off all the way. I know, it sounds tiring. Just imagine being on my end, having it be a part of who you are. I can’t do anything to stop it, I wish I could. I was always afraid to make friends because of this. If I couldn’t be balanced, I’d freeze, and I mean actually stop whatever I’m doing and stand still, until my body felt as if I were balanced once again. Who wouldn’t make fun of me for this?

Apparently, no one gave a shit about it. After moving to Pennsylvania, I made quite a name for myself at school. Literally. My name was Zip. I have no fucking clue how that ridiculous name came to be, but that’s what I went by day after day. One could say I was considered popular, but it wasn’t like I actually spoke to anyone. When it came to extracurriculars, I only participated in theatre. I never was part of the cast, just the stage manager. Secretly, I wanted so badly to audition and be a part of the magic they created on that stage. Not to boast or anything, but I had the talent and potential to be a starring role. But I could never bring myself to break out of my shell. Nonetheless, being stage manager still got me quite the attention. Everyone was always so nice to me, so I felt a little bad for not considering any of them as friends. That was until I met Dina.

Dina was new to our school sophomore year. She had this sort of light to her that attracted the pesky moths that were our dull and boring school body. We had the same social status in school. People liked our personalities, so we were well-liked and accepted without doing much to prove ourselves worthy. She was sweet and compassionate and so fun. I didn’t mean to become her friend, but she was so welcoming, despite being the newcomer. We became close friends, but not best friends. We already had people filling those roles.

Dina’s best friend was Sydney Novak. Sydney moved to Brownsville around the same time as Dina, so the two became best friends quickly, but Sydney wasn’t very popular at all. She was shy and introverted, but I thought she was nice enough. I liked her and thought she was a pretty cool person. We weren’t necessarily friends, we were just well acquainted simply because we were both close with Dina. The transitive property, if you would. I just wish we could’ve talked more, our relationship was pretty much nonexistent.

Speaking of nonexistent relationships, let’s talk about Richard Berry. I honestly don’t want to even think about him, but he played a role in my life that was too vital to just offhandedly mention. For some odd reason, Ricky Berry was absolutely in love with me. It was so obvious to everyone except for me. Sophomore year, he expressed his love through the most arrogant and cheesiest of pick-up lines and compliments. I wasn’t so easily won over, if you could guess. I tried being good friends with him, but he’d always fuck it up when he tried to initiate intimacy. I didn’t want to hold hands with him in the halls or receive “friendly” cheek kisses. I’m not what you would call affectionate, especially towards people I’m not close to. It’s just never been comfortable for me. Junior year, everyone around me was buzzing with excitement when they heard Ricky was going to ask me to be his girlfriend. The cheerleaders, who got to know him through his high school football career, constantly pestered me with reasons as to why I would be so lucky to date The Richard Berry. Granted, he became less of a dick junior year, so I thought, Why not?, and accepted. Being in a relationship with Ricky was the most one-sided… anything I had ever been a part of. He was undeniably enamored with me, but I couldn’t find it in myself to reciprocate those feelings. He would show me off to his family and friends like a trophy, but if someone asked me if I had a boyfriend I’d go, “I mean, yeah. I guess”, so not a very healthy relationship. It also didn’t help that Ricky knew nothing about boundaries.

One night, we were in his bedroom, studying for a science test. Ricky wasn’t focused at all and kept trying to kiss and cuddle with me. I let him for awhile, but then he took my book from me and set it on the ground beside his bed. He suggested we have sex right then and there. Now, I was never a prude and definitely didn’t wait to have sex for the first time, but I never wanted Ricky to be my first. He hadn’t earned enough of my trust to even touch me suggestively. So, of course I refused. Ricky only took that as me teasing him, so he advanced, nearly forcing himself on me. Using all my might, I shoved him off of the bed. He stood to his feet, utterly confused, but I only gathered my things and left his house. He tried following after me, but I ignored him until he turned and went back into his home. The next day at school, he was holding me and kissing me and showing me off to everyone like he always did. As if nothing happened between us the night before. It was difficult to do, since he was so inconsiderate, but I managed to break up with him. He tried to deny that we were Splitsville for about a week, but everyone caught wind of our break-up. Once everyone knew about it, it became true for him. I never really felt comfortable with being intimate or open with guys after that.

Besides with Stanley Barber, of course. Stan was my best friend in the entire world. I told only my deepest, darkest secrets to him. And he told me his. The only things we really had in common were our lack of mothers and our hideous bacne. Stan lived a few houses down and was eager to get to know me a week after I moved in. I’d never met anyone in my life like Stan. He was so awkward, but loveable. I don’t know, I guess he reminded me of my mom. The way he didn’t care, but he so clearly did. Whenever I wanted to talk about something that was difficult to voice, we’d smoke to ease the tension. Of course, this wasn’t how we always communicated. Despite his nervous stuttering, he was easy to open up to. Stan provided a sort of security in my life. He was never going to leave me and that put me at ease when hanging out with him, which we did regularly. I don’t know when exactly I developed a crush on him, but I never wanted it to surface in our bond. He was to never know. It was just a stupid crush, right? He was a guy who wasn’t family and was so unbelievably caring towards me. It was bound to happen, but that didn’t mean he had to be aware of it. Though, it was a little hard to keep such a secret when we’d both made out twice already. The first time was while I was dating Ricky, the kiss was very awkward and ended after about a minute and a half. The second kiss was just half a week after my breakup. That time, we’d both known what we were doing. And I may be a little biased, but you couldn’t have even thought to fake the passion in that makeout session. We never talked about either of those kisses and remained friends both times. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me that we didn’t become anything more afterwards. It was for the best, though, because two weeks before spring break, my dad returned from his job in Georgia and moved me to Kansas again. The move was so abrupt that I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye to anyone besides my family.

My life in Kansas for the second time was something I’d never want to experience ever again. Since it was a little late in the year, I finished junior year online. For some unexplained reason, my dad had us get new phones and new numbers, so I lost all contact with my friends. I had no one to talk to and it wasn’t like my dad paid much attention to me. I remember spending every waking moment with him when I was younger, talking or playing games or watching television. It used to be so fun being his daughter, but when we moved back to Kansas, I just felt like this huge burden in his life. Our relationship was strained and he clearly had other priorities in his life. Like whatever he left back in Georgia. I’d see his phone ring and the same number from that state would pop up before he’d leave the room and privately talk with whoever. It wasn’t the secrecy that was off-putting to me, it was the fact that it was so much more important to him. Once again, I was ignored by the one person in my life I wanted to spend the most time with. So, you can imagine the joy I felt when Dad had to go back to Georgia for work. I had been attending public school for my senior year and left not even a full month in. It didn’t bother me, I had no friends and nothing to leave behind. Mid-September was when I moved back to Brownsville with Aunt Pam. Everyone accepted me right back in. Especially my classmates. As I walked the halls I heard whispers like,

“Oh, my god, is that Zip?”

“Zip’s back! Where’d she even go?”

“I thought she died.”

The only person I really wanted to notice me was Stan. I missed him so much, I even got into his favorite band to have something to remember him by. I remember the day I got back to my aunt’s house. Jacob had picked me up from the airport and was driving me to the house. He was attending community college, but was still living with his parents. As we drove, he tapped his index fingers rhythmically to the shitty pop music that played on the radio. “So, what are you excited about for senior year?”

“Not much, I just missed Dina and Stan. Theatre, too. I wonder how they’ve been doing without me.” I chuckled. Jacob huffed in amusement.

“But you didn’t miss Ricky?”

“Fuck, Jake, you know I didn’t miss him for a second.” I frowned, waving my hand in dismissal. My cousin tauntingly laughed at me. Had he actually known about what happened between Ricky and I, he wouldn’t have teased me. In fact, Ricky wouldn’t even be alive that day if Jacob found out. No one knew about the incident, not even Stan.

Pulling up in front of the house, we got out of the car and headed to the trunk to pull out my bags. I tried carrying them in, but Jacob insisted that he do all the heavy lifting and simply asked me to carry my backpack and close the trunk. I did what little I was asked of and headed to the front door to greet my aunt and uncle inside, but stopped. In the corner of my eye, I saw movement from the Barber residence. Turning, my eyes locked on Stanley, who was frozen beside his car. He was wearing his work uniform and staring at me with the most bewildered expression on his face. It was like he thought himself to be hallucinating my existence. Smiling, I simply waved at him before walking back inside. When he got home from work that night, he headed over to my house and knocked on the door. I answered with a grin on my face. “Stan!”

“If it isn’t the famous Zip, showing back up in my life.”

“Ugh, do not call me that.” I rolled my eyes playfully before bringing him into a hug. He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin at the top of my head. I would’ve stayed there all night if I could’ve. When Stanley pulled away, my heart hollowed and a pit formed within my stomach. I felt unfinished, unbalanced. And I hate imbalance. He asked if I wanted to hang out and I accepted his offer. All we did was lay on his floor, listen to music and get high, but in that moment, that’s all I needed.

Bloodwitch, a joint, and Stan laying by my side.

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Taglist: @melinda-hargreeves @sapphicsyn @stqnley @lonely-kermit

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP meme from Scream Queens Ep 5 "Pumpkin Patch" (Note: Offensive content, use at own discretion)

The theme was "Let Them Eat Cake," so my dad bought me this foreclosed McMansion down the street, and, like, 500 of my closest friends came dressed in 18th century attire, and, oh, the pool was filled with this, like, caviar slurry. And then at midnight, we just burnt the house down. When the firefighters came, they were actually strippers, and they put out the fire with champagne.

So walk me through this, honey.

Well, as you can see, every pumpkin in the patch is artisanal.

Then we move past the ice sculptures of demonic peeing cherubs, and yes, they will all be peeing vodka and Red Bull.

I'm sorry. Corn maze?

It's just that doing an exact replica maze from The Shining would have taken us way over budget on man power alone.

I told you money was no object.

Well, apparently, one of them died or something.

Do you have any idea what's at stake here?

Okay, well, it's not my fault that some guy died in the '70s.

I am tired of your sad-sack, I'm-a-total-downer-all-the-time schtick.

I'm over it!

Oh, my God, why are you so depressed?

Why do I have to be the homely one?

Just a second, nutbag.

God, do I have to spell it out for you?

You're a weird, psycho lunatic who's gonna end up in an asylum somewhere, staring at a wall, trying to nurse a watering can.

That's it! I can't take this anymore!

That is such a Mary Todd Lincoln thing to say.

You scream "I'm done with you" kind of a lot, and yet you're still standing here.

I think you know you have a good thing going.

You get to bask in my starlight as I do all the work and you get to grumble behind my back about how disrespected you are.

There's the door.

There's the door, bitch!

You did not deserve to be spoken to like that. Ever.

That is bollocks!

Clearly this fake kidnapping is a play to get the sympathy vote. So Gone Girl.

This is the biggest candle night of the year!

I hate you right now!

Halloween is the greatest night of the year. Greatest night. Because on this night, even kind of shy, kind of homely girls dress up like total sluts. I mean, every costume is just a slutty version of something. Slutty teacher, slutty nurse, slutty nun. I saw a girl last year dressed as slutty al-Qaeda!

See, Halloween it's a night for dudes with killer bods to walk around with our shirts off. And it's totally appropriate, as long as we call ourselves gladiators, Chippendales.

I have no idea how you got into this college.

Look, we'll just hang out and play charades!

This cannot be happening!

Hey, what about Black Hairy Tongue Disease? I mean, does nobody here care about Black Hairy Tongue?

What about my pumpkin patch?

I blame you for this.

[NAME], nice boobs.

Join me in saying you are not afraid!

Just baking some cookies for the neighborhood trick-or-treaters.

Uh, they're toenail cookies.

Pink fur coats worn in all weather, my idea. Flapper dresses made out of feathers, also my idea. Oversized sunglasses worn everywhere, my idea, my idea, my idea!

So why are you baking toenail cookies and giving them to children?

Okay, whose side are you on?

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. I'm what you call

a "switch-hitter."

Wait, are you bisexual? Because that's what "switch-hitter" means.

Do you mean "double agent"?

What are you writing?

Do you know how big Halloween is in the candle community?

Is this an ant farm?

There's a mom ant, Deborah, who mostly just lies around and she has about 100 husband ants, who come around and give it to her good, which she really enjoys. And then there's about a million sterile daughter ants who feed her and are her slaves. So, an ideal family.

She'd win. And then I'd beg to be her second-in-command, while quietly pull the strings behind the scenes like Dick Cheney.

This plan involves a lot of circuitous logic.

Oh, my God! Those are, like, $100 each!

They're the highest quality candles that can be purchased retail.

What a brilliant and revolutionary idea.

Are you cheating?

This is a clear violation of the honor code.

You must be new here.

Who are you calling?

I'm gonna get you fired.

At least you wore something nice today.

Remember to smile for your mug shot.

I'm burping uncontrollably like Robert Durst.

They'll know I'm guilty!

I'm next in line and in charge here.

You can sum up my viewpoint on this with one word; indifference.

We are her only hope.

Sometimes, in order for a person to achieve their full potential, they have to do things on their own.

I am in charge here!

I love that you're a man.

This is the most sensual song ever written.

We need to do this right now!

I just saw her boobs.

Oh, a salad date is, it's like, it's more casual than dinner, but more formal than coffee.

Whose pants are these?

You know, you're a human being with feelings and needs, right?

Enough about me and my confusion and sad dead feeling inside.

It just really hurt my feelings.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure my so-called friends are the ones that turned me in so I'm just feeling, like, super alone right now.

Man, I am your biggest Instagram fan!

I just think you are a style genius.

I will never be able to repay you for the kindness you've shown me in here.

Besties for life, I say.

Your bail's been posted.

I knew you'd bail me out.

Can I just say what a relief it is to be able to share it with somebody and not feel judged?

You know, I mean, all my girlfriends are like, "That's immoral." "You should be ashamed of yourself!"

Ashamed? What the hell you got to be ashamed for?

You should be proud.

I could've lost my job.

I mean, it lasted, like, 45 seconds, and the whole time, it just felt like I was getting stabbed in the abdomen.

I tied him up and I kept my uniform on and proceeded

to read him his rights. My favorite being "You got the right to remain sexy."

Give me some!

You know he's sexy!

That was one of the best nights of my life.

Well, I've already contacted the police department, despite the fact that a person can't be considered "missing" until at least 72 hours has passed.

That's morbid.

I've already hired an investigator.

What, are you two a couple now?

What the hell are you doing?

You sold me down the river, bitch.

Wait, Gary Coleman's parents stole his kidneys?

I would never say that, because I'm pretty sure that never even happened.

Why does ratting me out sound like exactly something you would do?

You know, I've never thought of myself as a killer, but I am seriously considering ramming this pick into the back of your eye socket.

Maybe you'll get your head sawed off.

You have cameras in my room?

I have eyes everywhere, bitch.

The name of my future perfume is Revenge.

How is that something you just happen to know?

That is stupidest thing I've ever heard.

What's the password?

I just can't eat any more of these.

This ain't The Marriage Ref! This ain't Judge Joe Brown! We ain't on the Maury Show! We ain't standin' in line trying to get tickets to Dr. Phil! I am not Steve Harvey, people, and this ain't the Family Feud!

I'm tryin' to catch a killer.

Help me get the spy gear in the car!

How can you promise?

We're in a maze, you don't know where you're going!

I always knew it would come to this.

Why are we doing this right now?

I forgot the flashlights!

What am I supposed to do with this?

This is so creepy.

It smell like booty in here.

I'm getting a nervous feeling in my stomach.

I might start farting. If I cut some, you promise not to tell anyone?

Oh, my boob!

Stay where you are! I'll come and get you!

Ooh, this is nice.

It's really beautiful.

It looks like you just crossed some stuff out and wrote that in in marker.

Okay, can we talk about that for a second? Because it just happened a few hours ago, and I'm still really traumatized.

I need some cheering up right now.

Excuse me, darling, I'm exhausted.

Wait, we need to hear what happened to you.

Just wondering where you find a house with a pit. The market for them would be pretty limited.

Did you escape, or did you kill him?

I've always had a thing for bad boys.

That got way out of hand.

[bigskydreaming]

I saw you're old post on JayKyle and like I had a quick question: Ignoring that Jason's love life is embarrassingly bad, do you ever think that he'd might swallow his pride and go to Dick for advice? Because Jason focused on revenge for so long, his social skills (especially when romance is involved) are a little rusty when he's trying to be honest, and he would remember Dick being in a relationship before he died and stuff (also what advice do you think Dick would give to him?)

Absolutely.

See, this is one of those things where I think its key to remember that these characters - no matter how well established or fleshed out they might be - are ultimately still just fictional characters. The choices they make will never be anything other than the choices they’re assigned to make by the writer.

Which means that ultimately, execution always matters more in individual character choices than premise.

Because people are complicated, and good characters are too. People do contradictory things, they do inexplicable things, there’s very rarely anything where there’s just NO situation that could result in characters doing a certain thing. And so yeah, in premise, as I’ve talked about “oh Dick goes around killing people without a care in the world”.....not really plausible. Doesn’t really fit his character. But in execution, “the murderer of Dick’s brother taunts him with his brother’s death and Dick kills him”....not only plausible, it happened and was completely in character.

There’s very very little that can’t be done with just about any character....but you gotta do the math. Put the work in to explain WHY its not out of character, what about THIS specific scenario and execution of character choices and actions adds up to something that’s believable....even if nine out of ten times, it wouldn’t be, just on the surface. 

To bring all this back to your question....I think its not really an issue of WOULD Jason ever go to Dick for romantic advice, but rather....could a case be made for Jason plausibly ever going to Dick for romantic advice.

And before getting into that, I wanna raise a question of my own:

If not Dick....who WOULD Jason ever go to for romantic advice? Bruce? Not likely, just as like, even if they are on good terms at the time, how often do people usually go to their parents for romantic advice as their first choice...especially if that parent doesn’t exactly have much in the way of longterm relationships themselves? Alfred? Ditto - Alfred’s like Jason’s grandfather, and do you usually think “oh, I’ll go ask Grandpa” when thinking hey who is the best person to ask for dating advice? Especially when you’ve never seen them in a relationship either? 

Or how about Tim.....is it really at all MORE likely for someone like Jason to go to a YOUNGER sibling for romantic advice than an older one, even IF we were to ignore (as fandom usually does) that its actually Tim that Jason’s canon issues most commonly crop up with, rather than Dick the way fanon likes to invert that just to enable The Jason and Tim Show? (Sorry, letting my bitterness leak in there, lol, I’m just never not gonna be annoyed that so many fics handwave away the literal bad blood between Jason and Tim - which hey, everyone’s more than welcome to do, especially in the name of family unity - but WHILE at the exact same time inventing bad blood between Dick and Jason where it literally didn’t exist, just to have DISHARMONY in the family, but that’s specifically the fault of one person and one person only, that Dick. But where was I...)

I mean, that basically leaves Babs, which again, you certainly can go with, but the reality is they were never all that close in canon, and if Dick and Jason didn’t have a ton of in-canon bonding moments, he and Babs had even less, so again....

The question is: Given that Jason is mostly associated with just the Batfam, particularly pre-Reboot (and with his Reboot associations usually as often BEING his romantic counterparts as being someone he might feasibly go to for advice with romantic counterparts)....

Who else, other than Dick, really even EXISTS as a MORE plausible option for Jason to go to for dating tips?

(With again, the reality being that just as you can make a case for Dick being someone Jason goes to, you CAN make a case for him going to others.....with the point here being just that there’s really no one else out there that’s somehow MORE plausible for him to turn to here, and thus no reason Dick should be seen as a particularly IMplausible option here).

Whereas, if you strip away the fanon interference between Dick and Jason having any kind of decent sibling relationship, certain actual canon truths start to become more evident....

Like the fact that Jason was excited, in canon, to be Robin SPECIFICALLY. Not Robin as in Batman’s partner, but Robin as in ROBIN. Jason, contrary to popular opinion, looked up to Dick. He respected the older man. He was HONORED to walk in his shoes. Its why despite the machismo he’s usually written with, he never once in canon (okay at least pre-Reboot) talked shit about the Robin costume or wanted to change it. Its why in all of his ACTUAL canon interactions with Dick, he clearly wanted to impress him. He valued Dick’s opinion and insights. He always has.

Or the fact that compared to the relative lack of longterm relationships among the other significant figures in Jason’s life, pre his death, Dick was in a happy, committed relationship with Kory for the literal entire time Jason was Robin and knew him. Like, despite the fanon that Dick is a disaster in relationships, or that he’s had a billion of them, or that they always end because he doesn’t know how to actually be in one....none of this could be further from the truth, all his relationships end as much due to external plot wtf-ery as having ANYTHING to do with his inability to handle intimacy or romantic entanglements, and he’s literally the one and only major figure in Jason’s life that Jason can look at and cite memories of seeing him actually SUCCESSFULLY in a happy romantic relationship....which is again, something you tend to look for in a person you ask for romantic advice.

And so on along similar lines, with the point being....this, like so much else to do with Dick and Jason’s dynamic and even just Jason’s character individually.....is actually FAR more plausible than kneejerk fanon or fanfic impressions I think would make it out to be....and in fact, this is a far more plausible dynamic to exist between Jason and Dick in specific, than Jason and anyone else. Like, I really don’t know who else you would have him turn to for this specific issue, without having to invent the reasoning for that wholesale, having to put even MORE work into making credible than just building upon the idea that Jason goes to his older brother for advice in this department (even if he only does so with a lot of reluctance and awkwardness and “you better not laugh about this” threats, like......again, its all about the execution, and I’m not saying Jason would be GRACEFUL about going to Dick for help here, just that there’s waaaaaaaaaay more groundwork to build off of here than there is anywhere else).

And in conclusion, this also brings me back to my popular refrain of how - due to the fact that Dick is linked and pivotal to SO much of the Batfam’s interpersonal history and dynamics - the more you reduce even just him to one note, the more you constrain his dynamics with his family members to being just one thing and one thing only, and so often that one thing being a negative - the more you actually hurt and limit all the characters around him too, inadvertently. 

Such as Jason. Who innately becomes limited in how well and how believably he can engage in romantic storylines in general, due to not just to his own relative lack of history and experience there....but because the ONE character who is actually MOST ideally situated to be the best person for Jason to turn to for help there, for advice, to fill in the gaps where his lack of history and experience makes him reticent to even TRY dating.....that one person is automatically discounted as not a possibility simply because so many people don’t WANT him to be a possibility. Because they’d rather Dick be the villain of Jason’s stories than an actual positive, supportive older brother helping him to have nice things.

But when you take away those kneejerk assumptions as to why Jason would NEVER go to Dick for help here, with almost all of them stemming from fanon assumptions that Jason neither respects Dick or trusts or values his opinion, nor is he willing to allow himself to ever be vulnerable around Dick......or else stemming from fanon assumptions that Dick doesn’t like, trust or value Jason enough to be helpful or encouraging, or to not take advantage of his vulnerability or fail to respect the effort being vulnerable asks of Jason......

Suddenly, without those largely fan-formed obstacles in the way.....there’s little to no ACTUAL reasons why Jason wouldn’t or couldn’t ever go to Dick for help or advice with dating or romantic relationships.

[cicici03]

Chapter 10 - Lemon Cookies

Well everyone this is the second to last chapter! This does have a little smut, so you been warned!!! Enjoy

—————————————————————-

2 days later...

For the pass two days, things in the Rhode’s house has been going very smoothly. The kids could see how happy their parents was. Also, Cierra and Tre was happy about their growth.

Especially the sex.

They had been going at for the past two days hard. Whenever the kids were gone over a friend’s house, they went at it like bunny rabbits.

From the staircase.

To the kitchen counter.

To the pool table.

To the shower.

Of course they clean up the mess they made, but one day Angelo caught them on the kitchen counter.

Even though that happen, the Rhode’s house been in the best shape than it had been in a moment.

Ring.Ring.Ring

Cierra woke up, hearing the sound of her alarm. As she was about to get it, she realize something was really heavy on her. She looked over to the right side of the bed, seeing Tre with his mouth open a little with his muscular arms around Cierra waist.

Cierra looked at the man that was sleeping beside her. The man that gave her three kids, and love her no matter what they went through. A wave of emotion hit Cierra, and she started to cry.

Tre heard sniffles, and slightly shift in the bed. Tre woke up, to see Cierra grabbing some tissue off the bed side dresser. Tre tighten his arm around her, to cause her to turn around and looked at him.

“ What’s wrong babygirl?” Tre questioned while looking at his wife. Even though he was asking Cierra that question, all Cierra could think about was that sexy voice that made her wet a little. While squirming in the bed, and Tre smirking at her knowing what was happening.

Tre pull her to him, and whispered in her ear.

“ Is it wet?” Tre said seductive while looking at his wife. Cierra looked at Tre and saw that smirk on his face.

“ Nope, the kids going be up and I got to start setting up the party Tre.”Cierra said while trying to get out of his grip.

“Baby it is only 7:00, the party don’t start until noon.” Tre said while getting on top of her pinning her arms behind her. As he did that, he start kissing on her neck, to her chest, and finally to the hem of her panties.

As Tre was about to do some things to Cierra, Mia and Jakob barge through the door. Cierra push Tre off of her, which he land on the floor. 

“ Momma, my hair is destroyed! Your son destroyed my hair daddy!” Mia cried out to her mom being obvious to her parents. As Cierra pulled the covers up, she looked at her daughter.

Baby, she was telling the truth about her hair. Mia got her hair silk press for the graduation party. With that, Jakob thought it be funny to pour water on her natural hair.

“ Jakob what did you do to her hair!” Cierra got out of the bed trying to console her daughter. Even though Mia was being a little over dramatic, she had the right to be upset.

Tre got up and looked at his daughter and jump back a little.

Tre thought Mia didn’t see his jump back, but she did.

“ Momma even daddy think it looks a hot mess!” Mia cried out even harder. Cierra gave the evilest glare to both of Jakob and Tre.

“ You know what, I am going to call Dontay and tell him it is an hair emergancy!” Cierra looked for her phone, while still holding on to Mia. With the phone ringing, Cierra turned back to Jakob.

“ You know what, you are going to pay for this.With that, you owe me my $115.00 for this hair emergency, plus the $65.00 dollars for the hair due. Basically, that is a two months of allowance.” Cierra stated with much authority to Jakob.

Jakob looked at his mom with the most shocked face. With the same face expression, he looked at his dad. Tre mouthed to him that this is not his business. With that, Jakob was now double over in shocked.

“ Momma, please don’t do this! I need the money. The money needs me!” Jakob felled to the ground like somebody died. Cierra just shooked her head, still talking on the phone to Dontay to see if he could come.

Tre walked back into the room with Amaya right behind. Amaya rubbing her eyes from her sleep looked at Mia.

“ Why is there a James Brown look alike in your room?” Amaya questioned to her daddy. As Amaya thought she was whispering to her dad, however, she said it loud and clear for everybody in the room. Jakob and Tre busted out laughing, however Mia, whom have calm down, start crying even more. She ran out of her parent’s room, and ran into her room with the door slamming behind her.

Cierra looked at the two people who have made this situation even worse. Tre and Jakob still laughing, while Amaya looked at her mom knowing that it was time for her to tip out of here.

“ Thank you Dontay! I will be using, Tre’s card for this.” Cierra stated loud and clear, while walking over to Tre’s side of the bed. When Tre heard his name and the rest of the sentence, he watch his wife every move. He heard her say the numbers of his card, to giving Dontay a tip of $100.00. 

As Cierra got off the phone, she put on her house shoes and walk over to Tre.

“ Well looks like you not getting any lemon cookie for the  rest of the week.” Cierra smirked at Tre and pat him on the back walking out of the room. Tre looked at Jakob and just looked at him finish up his laughter. As Jakob finish, he looked at his dad who didn’t looked happy at all.

“ If you didn’t pour water on Mia’s hair. I wouldn’t be in this damn mess!”Tre shooked his head heading downstairs to plead with Cierra.

“ Baby, it wasn’t me that started this, it was your damn son! You know I really like your damn lemon cookies” Tre ranned down the stairs looking for his wife to plea with her about not letting him get some.

-----------------------------------------------

3:00 p.m.

With so much happening from this morning, the graduation party have been going without a hitch in it. Even though, Jakob almost burn down the house, Angelo almost punch one of the white mom at the party, and Mia arguing with her friend who dates Jakob. Cierra and Tre made sure that the party didn’t get mess up.

As the party started to get to the hype of it, Mia and Jakob went to the DJ to do a speech. The DJ handed the mic to Mia, which she wipe it off because she have  germaphobia. As she finish wipe the mic, she spoke into trying to get into it.

“ Ummm, excuse me.” Mia spoke loud and clear with a little authority in her voice that catch people attention. Cierra with her cousins looked at the twins and Tre was by the grill with his boys.

“ Jakob and I will like to thank everyone that came out today to celebrate us!” Mia said, before she could finish Jakob snatch the mic out of her.

“ I would like to especially thank my baby, Shanti, my girlfriend and the person that my sister tried to block my shot. Baby remember even though people tried to block my shot, my sister to be exact, I love you!” Jakob yelled out while looking at the girl. Everybody chuckle, while Shanti hid from all the grins.

Mia snatched the mic back and gave her brother the most evilest glare. 

“ If you can’t tell that I am the sane twin out of this bunch. With that, we would like to espically thank our parents. Come up here y’all.” Mia yelped while looking around for her parents. Cierra walked up with Tre following right behind her. Tre got close to her and whispered.

“ Baby, what are they doing?” Tre asked his wife, while looking at the people give them little head nods. Before Cierra could answer, they got to the DJ booth.

“ Daddy and Mommy we love y’all dearly. We want to thank y’all for all of the things that you have given us throughout our life. As we know that you got a little early, but you preserve through all that and made a life for all of us.” Mia stuttered from the tears she was holding back. Jakob put a arm on his twin’s back and spoke the rest.

“ With that, we just want to tell you that we love you guys. Sometimes we don’t tell y’all enough. No matter what, we love y’all through the good and the bad.” Jakob ended with tears coming down his eyes. He looked at his parents, Cierra was bawling and Tre was holding back the tears. The parents ran over and hug their first- borns, the kids that made them parents. Most of the guests didn’t know how special this moment was. However, much of the family knew and they were glad. They hold onto each other, until they heard somebody.

“ Y’all going to forget about me. I am the person that runs this show!” Amaya ran to her family with a serious face.

“ Baby we didn’t forget you. Plus you need to remember mommy runs the show!” Cierra picked up Amaya including her into the hug. 

Cierra felt complete. Knowing that her marriage was about to ended drastically and to the kids falling apart. She was happy that things happen. It showed her that she needed to tell people how she felt. With that, she looked over to her husband, whom was looking at her. She mouthed the words, I love you, to Tre and kissed him.

The family let the hug go and the party went back to what it was. Everybody was dancing to Before I Let Go. The kids and Tre joined in, while Cierra went and check on the last serving of food in the kitchen. As she was the only one inside, she made sure that everything was ready for the last round of food and to go plate options. As she was washing a dish, she felt a smack on her behind.

She quickly looked back to see it was Tre.

“ Sir, you are not getting any lemon cookie.” Cierra smirked still washing the dishes in the sink. As she was talking, Tre trap her with his hands on both side of her. 

“ I know Mrs. Rhodes, but I can I always change that.” Tre grinned, while starting to kiss on his wife neck. Smelling the shea butter on her neck, he started to sucked on her sweet spot. As he did that, Cierra eyes rolled back. After all of these years, Tre still knew how to get her on without touching her.

“ Babygirl, my dick need that warm, juicy, always sweet lemon cookie.” Tre whispered in her ear before pushing himself between her sundress. He knew how Cierra roll with sundresses: no panties. 

Cierra felt her husband, and was trying to push through, but she couldn’t. 

“ We can go to the pantry like we use too.” Cierra whispered back still feeling the kisses on her neck by her husband. Cierra and Tre moved to L.A right after college, and purchase this use to be small house with the help of their parents. With that, whenever the twins were toddlers, they use to hide in here to get away from them a little bit.

Tre pushed back from off his wife, and grabbed her going into the pantry. He close the door turning on the light, looking at his wife in all of her glory.

Even though she was not naked, Tre looked at the curve her waist following to her athletic bottom. Tre attacked his wife lips putting her on top of the counter that was in the pantry. Tre kissed her like it was his last meal. As Tre was hiking up Cierra’s dress. Cierra spoke up in a very quiet tone.

“ You been taking care of me baby. Let me take care of you.” Cierra said seductively while pushing her husband back. She got off the counter and push Tre against the wall. Cierra kiss her husband along his neck. She heard the soft whimpers of her husband. 

Still while kissing him, Cierra put her hand down his pants grabbing him. She rubbed him softly while giving him double stimulation. She then use her other hand to go under his shirt to rub his nipples. Even though Cierra usually don’t like being in control, she wanted to please her husband. Tre moan out from all the stimulation from his wife.

As Cierra could see that her husband was starting to enjoy himself, she went and yank his pants down. Cierra got her knees and start going to work.

Cierra licked the pre- cum from the tip of her husband’s dick. She went slow giving her some time to adjust herself. After she go comfortable she starting slobbing on the knob. She looked at her husband, seeing him trying to stifle his moans. As she wanted to hear her husband’s moans, she starts to slowly massage his balls while still going the fast speed she built up too. 

“ Shit Cierra.” Tre moaned out to her. Tre looked at his wife, which she was looking at him, with the black- brownish eyes piercing at him. He looked more to see that she was playing with herself. Tre grabbed onto her head and guiding her more.

With Tre almost close, he started to rammed his dick in her mouth. Tre heard her gagging and Cierra was taking it like champ. As Tre was starting to get rougher, she knew that he was getting closer to his climax. With that, Cierra tooked back control. She started to go faster while sucking her husband. Still looking at him, she massage his balls a little faster to match the speed. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the door knob moving. Even though she saw it, she was in her own world with Tre and thought they locked the door.

They didn’t.

As Tre leg started to twitch, signaling his climax, Cierra’s parents, Lisa and Marcus, opens the door. With Tre climaxing in Cierra’s mouth and Tre’s eye close he was oblvious to what was happening. However, Cierra wasn’t oblvious to what was happening.

As Tre reached his climax, Cierra looked at him. As the door opens, she looked at her dad first and yelled out.

“ Daddy!” Cierra yelled out while pulling down her dress and wiping the cum off her face. With Tre hearing that, he sayed back with his eyes close “ Baby, we doing roleplay now.” 

“ Trevante!” Marcus called out to him while looking at his face. Marcus knew that his step-daughter was married. However, seeing his little girl like that really trip him up and left him shock.

When Tre heard that voice, his eyes almost popped out of his head. He quickly turn around to fix himself. Then he heard another voice, “ I told y’all they were doing something nasty. Didn’t I tell y’all that I caught them this week!” Angelo shouted while looking at the scene.

Tre looked back to not only seeing his wife’s parents, but now to seeing Angelo, Logan, and his momma. Both Tre and Cierra looked like that caught cheating on a test.

“ Okay, I am going to close door and act like nothing happen. However, I need ketchup. So I am going to ask one of y’all to get a napkin and handed it to me.” Marcus silently says while not looking at either of them.

However, Angelo walked in and hand to Marcus. Shocked by what Angelo did, what he is about to say will shocked all of them even more.

“ Cierra did you do the trick I told you about?” Angelo said with a dead serious tone. Everybody sighed and said.

“ Damn Angelo!”

“ Angelo this shit is already awkward!”

Angelo responded, “ Well cousins helped each other out. Even though I don’t like pussy, Cierra tell me what help them stimulate and I tell her how make sure her man get the best stimulation.I’m trying make sure that Cierra and Tre have the best sex ever!However, my damn bad.” Angelo shouted while walking out of the pantry slamming the door. Everybody sighed in digust and all of them went back outside.

Cierra gave Tre the side eye and just shook her head.

“ Why you shaking your damn head. I didn’t do anything wrong.” Tre tried to explain to his wife. However he knew that he got them in this pantry. Cierra continue to shake her head and went upstairs.

Tre huffed back onto the countered, “ Damn all I wanted was my lemon cookie!” he said with much dramatic movement behind it.

------------------------------------------------------

6:00 p.m.

With the graduation party being over, the Rhode’s family was eating leftovers. Also there was Cierra’s parents, Angelo, Tre’s mom, and Logan. They were staying to help the family with all the parties, especially the kids that needed assistance for the surprise wedding anniversary  dinner for there parents.

“ So momma, what are you and daddy doing for your anniversary?” Jakob asking while eating the barbecue chicken. Everybody looked at him, definitely everybody who was involve in this surprise dinner, with a face that said shut up.

“ Well baby, daddy and I just want to chill for this year. We probably go on a trip or something.” Cierra said while earting. She looked over to Tre and saw that goofy smile on his face.

“ Well, I got a surprise for you.” Tre smirked while looking at his wife. Everybody looked back at Jakob who was being kick under the table by Mia. Jakob mouthed “ I didn’t do nothing” to everyone, which his parents was oblivious.

“ Well my surprise is that we going to Rome this summer for two weeks without the kids and one week with the kids.” Tre stated with everybody cheering up the surprise gift. Rome was special to the Rhodes family due to that was the first ever time Cierra and Tre went outside the U.S.

They both was on a trip for their Italian class when they were 16. That is when they grew together throughout the trip. That was how they became the couple they are today.

Cierra smile back at him and mouthed “ I give you a little lemon cookie.” Cierra realize that she was out of mac n cheese on her plate. She saw that it was all the way by her dad. 

“ Daddy can you pass me the mac n cheese?” Cierra asked while looking at her dad. As she said that Tre and Marcus hands reach the plate. Tre realized that he got to excited to get the cookie, that when he heard daddy,his wife was talking to him.

 With Logan and Angelo dying with laughter. 

The kids looking highly confuse.

To Lisa and Momma T looking at Tre like he was dumb.

To his wife shaking her head even more.

Tre looked over to Marcus who was just looking at him. Tre back his hand away from the dish. Marcus eyes was cussing Tre out silently and want to kill him. Even though Cierra is 30, Marcus still see her as his little girl. With him never having children, Cierra was the child he never got. That was the person that made him feel accomplish because of all her achievements in life.

Marcus pass the dish to Cierra ,and smile to her as she gave him a  head nodded. As Tre, realized he wasn’t going get no lemon cookie tonight.

“ I’m not getting any lemon cookies tonight.” Tre said without realizing that he said it very loud and clear.

“ Definitely not! Everbody the lemon cookies are done!” Cierra stated while exiting from the kitchen while looking at her husband with everybody running in the kitchen to get some of the cookies.

Tre just shooked his headed and head upstairs to the lotion that was going to help him tonight.

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Well goodness!😂😂😂

To Mia’s hair, Cierra and Tre getting caught, To Tre not getting no lemon cookies!!!

I hope y’all like it and I tired with the smut! Baby that was difficult shit! I don’t know how the queen of smut @l-auteuse do it with such ease!!

Taglist:

@l-auteuse @ljstraightnochaser @munteanhore @19jammmy @twistedcharismaaa

[jeonsduck]

Smoke and Mirrors pt 5

a/n: Y/N meets the guys 

warnings: uhhh, fever symptoms, things get a lil steamy at the end

After the day you’d had, you fell asleep long before your usual bedtime, and well into the next morning. It was Sunday, so it’s not like anything mattered. Noodles was tucked under your arm and San had his arm thrown over your waist. You didn’t remember going to bed, but you probably passed out from emotional distress sometime last night between crying and kissing the man in your bed. You zoned out tracing the stylistic tattoo wrapped over San’s shoulder. It looked familiar, but you couldn’t quite place why. It was blurry in your eyesight and San shifted, humming in your ear.

“Y/N? Are you awake?”

You hummed an affirmative noise, which bothered Noodles, him meowing and hopping off the bed. 

“How are you feeling today? You wanna tell me about what happened?” San asked, propping his head up on his palm. 

He looked down at your, shadowy and muted in the cloudy light coming in from your window. His hand cupped around your waist, his thumb rubbing small slow circles into your skin.

“Jacob is dead.” you said plainly.

San’s eyebrows knit, leaning closer.

“The guy you went to dinner with earlier?” San asked for clarification.

“Yeah, we weren’t super close or anything, but we were friends at work, ya know? Kinda the only person in the whole office that wasn’t a total dick to me.” you explained, watching the ceiling fan go in circles.

“Your friend? You weren’t dating?” he asked.

You chuckled shaking your head.

“Nah, just friends. I think Jacob might have a had abit of a crush on me, but there wasn’t anything going on.” you confirmed.

San swallowed audibly, and sat up abruptly. He ran his hands through his hair like he was stressed out. You furrowed your eyebrows and sat up with him. It was your friend that died, so why was he so torn up. Suddenly, he pulled you into his arms, wrapping you up completely in a hug.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry…” he started, and you patted him on the back awkwardly.

“It's not your fault San. But thank you anyway. Thank you for taking care of me yesterday too.” you said, pulling back.

San smiled awkwardly, it not quite reaching his eyes.

“Of course, anything for you.” he says.

“Is it weird to ask you to leave? I want to be alone for a little while.” you asked and San nodded vigorously.

“Whatever you need. Call me if you need anything, I’ll always answer.” San said, and pecked you on the forehead before slipping out of bed.

You heard him say goodbye to Noodles and the front door shut and lock before you flopped back down on your bed. You spent a few more hours vegging out in bed before you finally dragged yourself out of bed. You cleaned the apartment in a daze and then put on some mindless TV with Noodles on your lap. 

You took a shower and went to bed on time. You thought about taking time off from work, but who knows when Jacob’s funeral was going to be and it would dredge up the same emotions all over again. So you packed up all your sadness and angst and packed it away to deal with when the day came. 

The next day you got dressed, fed Noodles, and San drove you to work. The bodyguards weren’t in the car, and you didn’t comment on it. The air in the car was stale and neither of you made the effort to make conversation. You had a bit of a sore throat and your back hurt. You were dozing off in the passenger seat and didn't even realize until San was shaking you awake at the office.

“Y/N, maybe you should take the day off…” he tried but you shook your head.

“I’ll be fine.” you brushed him off climbing out of the car.

For most of the day you were fine. You weren’t particularly sad or anything, just tired. You could look at some numbers, you didn’t need to waste your vacation time on this. Or so you thought.

The numbers on the ledgers kept swimming in front of your face and nothing was making sense. You tried to take your notes to the best of your ability, but nothing was making sense. You laid your head down against the table, closing your eyes and breathing hard. Colors flashed behind your eyelids and you felt light-headed. What the hell was going on? 

You decided to take a quick breather with your head lying against the cool material of the desk, but it warmed up quickly, and somehow you got the idea in your head to lie on floor. When you stood up, you automatically became faint, your knees buckling and bringing you to the floor. You yelped and knocked down a few binders on the way down. 

The noise of the heavy binders hitting the floor alerted Keran, and she came to check on you.

“Y/N? Are you okay?” she asked, helped you back into your chair. You caught sight of her tattoo again. 

“You and San have similar tattoos.” you mumbled.

“Here, put your head between your knees, I’ll get San. And a glass of water.” she said, making sure you were stable before leaving.

San came rushing into the room a moment later, kneeling in front of you and taking your face in his hands. He brushed your hair from your face, trying to catch your eyes.

“Y/N? Can you hear me?” 

You hummed an affirmative, nodding your head almost made you tip over.

“Here, boss.” Keran returned, handing San a paper cup of water for you. He held the drink up to your lips and you drank it quickly. 

“Did you eat yesterday?” he asked and you nodded gently.

“Does your head hurt? What’s wrong?” San asked. 

He sounded calm but was actually freaking out.

“My back hurts, and my throat is kind of sore. It’s hot.” you mumbled.

San realized that you were sweating profusely, but you still had your coat on. He quickly stripped it from you, pressing the back of his hand to your forehead. Then he cupped your neck with both hands, feeling your temperature.

“You’re burning up baby…” he said worried.

You were too out of it to react to him calling you baby, squinting at him as your eyesight blurred suddenly.

“Why’d you take my coat, s’cold now.” you muttered, swaying in your seat.

“Probably a bad fever, you should take them to the hospital.” Keran said, and it sounded like she was speaking underwater.

“Tell the guys to get the car.” San ordered, and scooped you up in his arms bridal style.

 The change in position made you dizzy and you squeezed your eyes closed to fight off the nausea. 

“You’re strong…” you commented out loud.

San chuckled, carrying you out to the parking lot. He buckled you into the back seat and called his doctor while the guards drove you to the hospital. 

The next 72 hours passed in a general haze of colors, sounds, and smells. You recalled San feeding you some kind of soup, stumbling into the wall on your way to the bathroom, and lots and lots of Powerade.

“This is what you get for sitting out in the rain for 20 minutes like a goose.” San reprimanded, but you just sneezed on him in retaliation.

“That was on fucking purpose wasn’t it? Don’t pretend to be fever crazy now, you’re disgusting.” he whined, but you just rolled over and hid under the covers. 

On the third day, you were more sane, and Jacob’s funeral was happening in the morning. You were still too sick to attend the service, and you would have felt out of place with Jacob’s family and close friends there anyway. San was nice enough to help you get dressed and drive you out so you could at least leave some flowers on his grave and say your goodbyes. He even brought a bouquet himself to put on Jacob’s grave. Purple hyacinths. After that you’d come back home exhausted from just that short trip outside and passed out.

When you were finally feeling well enough to go back to work on the fourth day, San hit you with some interesting news.

“I think you should meet the guys.” he says.

You look at him eyes wide in shock.

“Who? You mean your friends?” you asked.

“Yeah, is that weird?” he laughed it off, but rather awkwardly.

“I mean, a little. Why does it sound like I’m meeting your parents or something?” you chuckled to diffuse the tension but San just looked nervous. 

“I mean, I know we can’t really do anything officially until you’re done with your investigation, but I thought maybe… maybe we had something going on between us but if I read that wrong-”, you cut him off before he could ramble any longer.

“No, you read it right. But yeah, we need to keep it professional until I finish this case.” you say.

“So, we can say it’s about the investigation if anyone asks. I just really want you to meet them without you being all nervous and jumpy. I have a lunch meeting with them on Friday if you want to tag along.” ho offers.

That sounds… nice. It’s probably a good idea to meet them in a setting that doesn’t absolutely terrify you. So you agree. If you were to pinpoint the exact moment your relationship with Choi San changed, this would be the moment. From then on, your relationship with San was purely unprofessional.

It was also another fatal mistake. You never should have met San’s other friends, letting the eight of them lull you into a false sense of security.

Friday came and you were nervous. Despite San’s assurances that they were really nice guys and that they’d love you, your mental images of his friends were still very dark, serious and scary. And just like when you first met San, they proved you completely wrong. 

For one, Kim Hongjoong didn’t look like a hardened mafia boss. He looked like the type of person you would see backstage at a fashion show, running the event. He was dressed eclectically, and you noticed some similarities to San’s style. The faux fur coat gave him a large silhouette considering he was a short man. His fingers were all covered in large rings, his top was silk, and your were sure his pants were so tight, if he had a quarter in his pocket you’d be able to tell if it was heads or tails. 

“You can blame San’s fashion literacy on me. He’s like a Barbie doll, he’ll wear whatever I throw at him.” Hongjoong said with a bright smile. Ah, so that explained it.

Park Seonghwa was a bit more striking, wearing all black and looking ab it like an angry storm cloud.

“It’s nice to meet you Y/N.” he said, shaking your hand.

“Don’t be so intimidated, Seonghwa’s a real softy, he just looks like that because he’s an Aries.” San whispered, and San whacked him on the shoulder.

“Shut up Sannie.” Seonghwa scolded and you looked at San with mirth in your eyes.

“Sannie?”

“He’s just being stupid. Here, talk to Mingi.” he said, pushing you towards the giant as he got into a spat with Seonghwa.

You looked at Mingi awkward without San’s hand resting comfortably at the small of your back.

“Hi, I’m Song Mingi, it’s nice to meet you.” he said, breaking into a bright smile. 

You automatically relaxed. Despite the fact that Mingi was dressed like he’d just stepped out of the Matrix, he was a huge softie. His business partner Yunho appeared, and they kind of looked like complete opposites, with Yunho dressed in a fluffy sweater and Mingi decked out in leather. 

San came back after you met Yunho, steering you to meet Yeosang. San had said he was kind of shy, which you could tell by the way he kept hiding behind his drink. He definitely didn’t look like the owner of multiple charities and jewelry companies. He looked like a fairy that wanted very much to be at home right now. 

Then it was Jongho. He was dressed like a stereotypical athlete, joggers and a hoodie, even in such a nice restaurant. You were sure they had a dress code, but maybe if you coached three Olympic martial arts teams, you got a free pass to wear slides instead of real shoes. Honestly, Jongho was the most intimidating, but that was mainly because you’d seen him pick up a table and threaten Yunho not ten minutes prior to meeting him. He laughed when you stuttered out your introduction.

“Oh, I promise, I’m not the one you should be afraid of.”  he says with a wink, sliding way before San can hit him.

“What was that about?” you ask but San just chuckles.

“He’s just joking. Come on I saved the best for last.” he says, leading you around the table.

The last one you meet is Wooyoung, San’s best friend. He smiles lopsidely when you approach, sweeping down into a bow and kissing the back of your palm.

“So you’re San’s latest obsession….. I can tell why he’s infatuated with you.” Wooyoung joked and San rolled his eyes.

“Quit playing around dude.” 

Wooyoung laugh, his face breaking out into a full smile. He hugs San, and when his shirt rides up you catch a glimpse of an intricate black tattoo on his side. Maybe he and San have matching tattoos? 

Lunch goes smoothly, with the boys teasing each other about inside jokes San explains into your ear. That being said, you’re not left out of the conversation at all. San has apparently been telling his friends a lot about you, and they have a lot of questions. You try to answer them all to the best of your ability but you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed. San must do or say something that tips them off, because they start toning it down. 

Hongjoong is the only one to ask about the investigation, jokingly asking if you think they’re really triad members. You laugh along, saying that Jongho seems a little sketchy. It must be the right answer, because it earns you a round of laughter from the table. 

After the meal while San is fetching your coats, Yeosang approaches you. You’re suprised, considering how quiet he is.

“Be careful with San. He can be pretty…. One-track minded when it comes to relationships.” Yeosang says. 

“What do you mean?” you ask.

Yeosang shrugs, seeing San approaching you.

“He gets attached easily and quickly. Go slowly with him, or before you know it you’ll be moving way too fast.” he says, and walks away before San steps up behind you.

“Oh, Yeosang said something to you. Was he nice?” San asked, helping you into your coat.

“Uh, I guess?” 

San smiled and booped your nose with his finger. 

“Let’s get you home, hmm?” 

Get you home turns into coming u for a coffee, which turns into watching Netflix which turns into making out on your couch, which turns into making out in your bed, which turns into tearing each other’s clothes off and pressing hot kisses into each other’s mouths, and sucking dark red marks on San’s neck as his fingers leave bruises on your hips. You gasp against San’s mouth and he groans in the prettiest way when you grind your knee up against the bulge in his slacks.

“Slow down, you don’t want to start something you can’t finish babe.” San hums.

The other night when you asked San to distract you, you’d stopped at heavy petting keeping it above the belt and PG-13. Tonight, there were no such boundaries and San seemed intent on making one thing very clear: you belonged to him.

[malexfan10]

Vlamis, Malex & Roswell drama

Hope everyone in California is doing OK after the earthquake and aftershocks. 

This is kind of long. Sorry in advance!

So yesterday was one of those days. I was disappointed like many others but now a day has passed. Let’s just step back and take a deep breath. If we get ourselves completely torn up every time something new like this podcast comes out, we won’t last the month let alone the next 6 or through next season!

M&M is happening. I don’t like it. You don’t like it. None of us likes it. But it’s happening & there’s nothing we can do but suffer through. Some may choose to step away, others may choose to brave it out. Understandable either way.

Regarding the latest podcast, Vlamis called Alex a dick and thinks we’ll all fall in love with Candy.  

OK, first point. We will not fall in love with Candy. Sorry, Vlamis, but no matter how hard you or Carina try, we’re not getting on the bitter Candy bandwagon and here’s why:

- the buildup/foundation simply sucked

- the deep feelings sprang out of nowhere

- the story in general was a mess

- no one in their late twenties/early thirties indulges in love triangles (it’s not Gossip Girl or OTH for God’s sake)

- they’re dragging Alex under the bus to let M&M shine

Those above, plus others, are all reasons why we don’t support M&M and won’t fall in love with them either. We’re in too deep with Malex at this point. They’re permanently cemented in our hearts and there’s no going back (unless there’s some major character assassination of Guerin next year where we just won’t want Alex with him anymore). But we’re not there yet! Malex all the way!

Him calling Alex a dick was sad to hear. All of these characters have suffered in their own ways on the show. Isobel’s very foundation was rocked by Noah. She was violated and used. Kyle discovered his father not only had another child but was involved in the alien conspiracies as well. Liz discovered why her sister really died and who was involved covering it up. What she and her father endured in the wake of Rosa’s death was heartbreaking. Michael felt abandoned his whole life, first through foster care and then by the one person he truly loved. Alex having reasons to leave are a separate point – it doesn’t negate the fact that Michael was still left heartbroken. Let’s not forget Caulfield.  Finally, there’s Alex. The boy who was bullied, suffered through parental abuse, homophobia, ultimately forced into choosing a life in the military as his only escape, experienced years of war, became disabled and most likely has PTSD only to come back to his hometown and discover the man he loved was not human at all. Ran out of breath just writing that! 

To say that Alex has suffered greatly on this show is an understatement and to label the way he works through his trauma as dickish behavior is grating. People deal with trauma in different ways. Some shut down, detach themselves from anything remotely emotional in an effort to cope. Others talk through their problems with people they trust or professionals. Some lash out, others swallow their pain. We can’t blame someone for the way they handle and react to trauma as everyone experiences it differently. For Vlamis to call Alex a dick…I really wish he hadn’t said that. Words can be hurtful and leave bad impressions and both of his comments have done that (toxic is the other).

But do I think Vlamis should be “cancelled” or ostracized by the fandom because of a few choice words? No, I don’t. Sometimes our words run away from us. Calling the Malex relationship “toxic” and Alex a “dick” were both regrettable and insensitive. But should the man be dragged over hot coals because of it? I don’t think so. 

We have to remember that M&M is happening whether we like it or not. It’s the showrunner’s choice. We don’t agree with it. In fact, we actively dislike it but it’s happening none the less. Carina has shown us that this is her show (which I can understand, to a degree) and that her opinion is the only one that counts (I vehemently disagree). He has to promote what’s happening with his character. That part’s understandable as much as I detest the storyline. I just wish he would use a bit more tact when he speaks next time.

But I do think it comes down to not realizing what he says may leave a bad impression. I don’t think he’s a bad person. In fact, I think he’s rather lovely. Remember, he’s still that same adorable curly haired guy who keeps giving us these amazing Vlamburn moments. Just a few days ago, we had that “date” and “Tyler, will you hold my hand”. He’s loveable. Just perhaps someone should advise him to consider his words before he speaks and maybe sometimes put a cork in it!  Do I agree with him labeling Alex as a dick? No, nope, nada. Do I think the Malex relationship was toxic? I hate that word because of the negative connotations connected with it. But in the end, he’s still one half of a pairing I love with all my heart. I may not agree with some things he’s said or some of the character’s actions, but no one’s perfect, him included. 

Can I just add, it’s uncool to attack an actor on Twitter or some other platform. We can disagree with things people say, have mature discussions and provide criticism without swearing them out. We’ve been burnt before and don’t appreciate the run around, being lied to or having a carrot dangled in front of us. But we can also express our opinions in a more eloquent manner because ultimately, that’s how we want Malex and the Malex fandom to be seen. 

They can keep trying to paint Alex as the bad guy to prop Candy but look out, writers! It’s having the exact opposite effect! We’re standing even more united for Alex Manes and yes, Malex as well. 

So try to hang in there! Don’t let this show stress you out. We fell in love with Malex for many reasons. Let’s keep remembering what those reasons are. Let’s remember all the amazing Vlamburn content we’ve had. Let’s continue to use social media to show our dislike for this narrative, for M&M, for our irritation of Alex shouldering the blame. Hopefully, the more we discuss it, the more the writers will finally understand. Let’s also hope that Vlamis, as loveable as he is, takes a step back and realizes that words can have consequences and alienating the majority of the fandom to promote his latest storyline can be hurtful to his fans and ultimately not the best move.

Finally, one other thing that’s really annoying me is all the Malex moments going to M&M. Vlamis said something about him wanting to “play guitar for this woman” or some other nonsense. What happened to that moment being for Michael only? You can’t see me, but I’m rolling my eyes so hard right now! 

UFO Emporium, guitar...all these moments going to M&M and he thinks we’re going to fall in love with Candy? Buddy, love you, but what kind of Kool-Aid are you drinking? You guys are just giving us more reasons NOT to like them! 

Fingers crossed these next few months go smoother than the ones we’ve had since April. I keep thinking that once Tyler starts interviewing and promoting, we’ll feel more at ease. Also, what is this, the Guerin & Candy show? Why is no one else interviewing, like let’s say Jeanine? Is she not the main character? Didn’t Max die? LOL

P.S. On a totally different note, I recently started watching Shameless. 9 seasons have aired and season 10 is coming soon. Let me just say that I fell in love with Mickey Milkovich and Gallavich (Mickey & Ian). Not sure if anyone has watched the show but man, was I blown away. One of the best character arcs I have honestly ever seen was crafted for Mickey. Hate the showrunners for the terrible writing towards the end (what else is new) but at least the characters had a mini reunion last season & both are coming back next year. If you haven’t watched it, I highly recommend it!

[derryhawkins]

I Love Him, Your Honor [3/??]

summary: During college, Richie works part time at a law office for the sole reason it pays well, and he honestly thinks it’s utter hell. But then he meets another part time employee who works down in the file room and, well, maybe the law office isn’t completely hellish. word count: 5.4k

AO3 Link | very first chapter | previous chapter

chapter three: cute ass is the cure

Music plays from the bluetooth speakers in the living room that are connected to Bev's phone as Richie enters the apartment. Everyone else is already there; he can hear Stan in the living room as he tells something to Ben about his classes, the taller out of the two listening intently, fully engrossed in whatever story Stan is telling. Ben gasps and lets out a laugh as Richie walks through. Stan waves without looking at Richie and Ben takes a second to smile up at him and say, "Hey, man," before turning back to Stan. Richie, still walking, bows dramatically with the three pizza boxes and two liters of sodas. The boys are shocked that he doesn't drop their dinner, to say the least, both having been ready to catch whatever fell. He quickly goes to the kitchen and sees Beverly slipping in a pan of brownie batter into the oven. He kisses the top of her head as he passes by as a greeting and sets the pizza and drinks on the table.

"Thanks for getting the food and sodas tonight, Rich," Beverly says once she sets the timer on the oven.

He shrugs as he opens and closes the three pizza boxes one by one to make sure the pizzas were right. "No problem. I don't mind it," he tells her. "We got a full pepperoni, a full cheese, and a half pineapple half sausage. Then a coke and a sprite. The usual, of course." He grins at Bev.

She smiles back. "Beer is in the fridge, too."

Richie then takes the keys out of her pocket and tosses it to Beverly, who catches them with ease, and neither of them say much of anything for the next few minutes. Well, Bev doesn't say anything; she just laughs at Richie as he starts to sing terribly along with the song that is currently playing as he makes two plates of pizza, a cup of coke and another cup of sprite. He brings Stan's two slices of cheese pizza and sprite first, and then Ben's two slices of pepperoni and coke, still singing while doing so and nearly spilling the drinks each time. When Ben tries to tell him that he didn't have to bring him his plate, Richie just waves him off with a, "I'm trying to be nice here, eat the damn pizza," and Stan just says thanks. He then makes Beverly a plate as she puts dirty dishes in the sink - one slice of everything - and lets her fix her own drink, because he never knows if she's going to drink alcohol or stick with the sodas; it's one extreme or the other with her, and Richie just quit trying to find out after the third Wednesday Game Night. Finally he makes his own - two slices of pineapple, one sausage, and one pepperoni - and once he grabs a beer from the fridge, he heads for the living room, sitting in the unoccupied small recliner.

He sets his plate in his lap and opens the beer as he asks, "So, what game are we playing tonight, fellas?"

"Just regular old Mario Kart on the Wii," Beverly says as she enters the room. She quickly sits beside Ben.

"I can't believe you have a Wii in the year 2019," Stan comments, dark brown eyes moving to game console beside the TV. "And since we were thirteen, no less."

"Staniel's got a point. How does it even work still?"

Bev rolls her eyes. "It's seven years old - not a fucking relic! Geez. Maybe I should've went clubbing with Kay and Patty like they offered instead of being with you shits," she teases.

Stan suddenly sits up straight. In his expression, he's trying to play off everything as cool, calm, and collected. But the shine in his eyes and the fast reaction of sitting up threw that act out the window. "Did you say Patty?" He asks.

Richie frowns as Bev nods. "Who's Patty? Crabby patty? That kind of patty? Are we talking about Spongebob all of a sudden?"

Ben and Beverly share a look before the girl is looking back to Stan. "How do you know Patty?" She asks.

Stan is then turning to Richie with a smile the other boy has only seen on him a total of five times. It was large, full of teeth, and his eyes shown genuine excitement. The first time Richie saw that smile on Stan had been when they were ten, and the lighter brunet got just inches away from a hummingbird. The next two times were in middle school when Stan successfully pranked Richie two days in a row using the exact same thing, thrilled that his best friend had been so stupid to fall for it two times in a row. The next two times were during high school. Stan at a homecoming dance with a long time crush of his that never changed into anything more than that. Stan when he finally won at that impossible claw game at an arcade. The final time had been when Beverly and Ben announced their engagement a few months ago. Now, there is a sixth time and all Richie can do is slow his chewing after taking a bite of pizza and narrowing his dark eyes, waiting for his best friend to start talking.

"You remember the blonde we saw at my job the other day?" Stan asks, and at Richie's blank look, he sighs. "Cute Ass's friend," he deadpans, annoyed.

A lightbulb turns on. Richie's jaw drops, and his eyebrows shoot to his hair line as his eyes widen. "No, way!" He shouts.

His grin is back. "I got her number yesterday. We're going on a date Friday."

"Patty? Patricia Blum? My Patty Blum?" Beverly asks, and her giggles ruin the protective glare she sends Stan's way.

"Yup," Stan says, still smiling but it's more subdue now.

Ben reaches over and pats Stan's shoulder. "I'm happy for you, man. I've talked to Patrica, like, once, but she's really nice."

Beverly nods. "She's total sweetheart. If Ben wasn't in my life, I'd date her." She pauses, and her voice is sickly sweet when she speaks next, "But break her heart, I'll break your spine." Before Stan can reply with anything, she's turning to Richie, now glaring. "And if you hurt, quote unquote, 'Cute Ass' in any way, I will rip your dick off if he doesn't do it on the spot."

Richie blinks, a bit taken back. Then, after letting the words process, "You know Cute Ass?! Ohmygod, Bev, give me his name! Number! Please, I need to know who he is." He sets his plate and drink on the small coffee table and gets on his knees in front of Beverly, hands folding together and arms going to her lap. He musters up the best begging face he can make but his best friend simply rolls her eyes. "Bev," he whines.

Ben chuckles. "You'll live, Richie."

“No I won’t!” Richie all but yells dramatically. “Cute Ass is my life support – I’m slowly dying of heart failure and the only cure is to meet him!”

Ben is now laughing, and so is Stan despite his best efforts not to. Beverly is holding her laughter back, much to the surprise of the boys, but anyone could see that she was about to break. “I’m not telling you a thing,” she says.

“But I’m dying! A painful and slow death, one that only has one antidote! And what if this is- what if, like, Cute Ass is my soulmate? Huh? What then, Bev?”

“You don’t believe in soulma-.”

“Shut up, Staniel,” Richie interrupts him with a tiny glare that held no malice before looking back to Beverly. He then begins to act as if he were choking, hand clutching over his heart. “I’m- dying! I need the cure!” He falls to a heap at her feet with one arm stretched out. “The cure!” He goes limp; dead.

The other three break into large fits of laughter. Richie does his best to stay still and hold in his own, but it’s soon breaking free. They’re all giggling and laughing, and stopping only to start back up again when silence consumes them. Richie is rolling on the floor and Stan is slouched into the back of the couch, wiping tears from his eyes and doing his best not to disrupt his plate of pizza and his drink. Beverly is leaning on Ben for support, clutching an arm with her hand, and he’s hunched over with a hand covering his face as he tries to calm down. They all try to calm down but it doesn’t end. And it makes such a stupid thing to get so giggly about so much, but they can’t stop.

And then Beverly’s playing “Friday I’m in Love” by The Cure on her phone, making Richie laugh more. It takes a second until Ben realizes and Stan’s already laughing along with Richie, telling Bev, “Nice one.”

“I gave you The Cure,” Beverly says, giggles still escaping her. “There.”

A tiny laugh bubbles up out of Richie. “Wrong one,” he says, half whining.

“Why was that so funny?” Ben asks. His eye are bleary, a bit glossed over, as if it had all nearly brought him to tears.

“I was laughing from pure joy,” Stan says. “Rich died right in front of my eyes.”

Richie swats his legs and grins at hearing Beverly still giggling quietly. “Fuck off.”

For a moment, it feels like they’re fourteen or fifteen again, the four of them together in one of their parents’ houses most likely being too loud but they didn’t care. They didn’t care about a lot of things back then. Only each other and being able to spend time together. But now they’re in Beverly’s and Ben’s shared apartment, and they care about quite a few things now, including seeing one another as often as they could, but jobs were a thing and they were on a pathway to the rest of their lives.

The thought made Richie blink and sit up. “Getting a beer, want anything?” He asks, standing up and walking away before anyone can reply. He comes back a minute later with an open beer bottle and sits back in the recliner once he grabs his plate of pizza.

“Wait, Rich, you don’t believe in soulmates?” Beverly asks suddenly, her brain catching up with what Stan has said before they had their laughing fit. The song was ending now, and she pauses it before another one can start.

Hi shrugs. “In high school,” he explains. “I don’t know about now.”

“I think that’s because you liked Bill then, but he was avoiding us so you decided to throw away the entire shebang with romantic feelings,” Stan says, casually as ever.

“Who didn’t have a crush on Bill?”

“Me.”

Richie waves a hand dismissively. “Ben, you don’t count - you’ve been in love with Bev since forever. But back to Bill: that ass in those baseball pants?” Richie asks, and then stuffs his face with a bite of pizza, talking with a mouth full of food. “Good shit. And I didn’t throw away the entire 'shebang' with romantic feelings! Did you not just see the dramatics I put on for Cute Ass?”

Beverly lights up. Her grin went from ear to ear and Stan raises an eyebrow as Ben gives Richie a curious look. “You have a crush on E- Cute Ass?!”

Richie freezes and swallows the food. “I didn’t say that... Besides, I don’t even know what he looks like, or- or how he acts! If anything, I’ve got a crush on Cute Ass’s ass.”

Stan rolls his eyes. “That’s impossible, Richie.”

“You’re impossible,” he retaliates.

"Your face is impossible."

"I'd say your mom is impossible, but-." A decorative pillow hitting his face cuts Richie off before he can finish his sentence.

Then, Ben is suggesting that they finally start Mario Kart, an argument starting between who gets to be Princess Peach this time between the four of them.

+++

The next day, Richie wakes up exhausted from the hours upon hours of aggressive Mario Kart with his friends, and he's slightly hung over from the amount of beers he had. He checks the time on his phone from where he is under the coffee table, and glares at the time. It's six on the dot. He groans and stuffs his face into the pillow - the same one Stan had hit him with - and listens as everyone's alarms start going off. How they agreed Wednesday was the best day for game nights is beyond him, especially now that he had a decent paying half-time job that he has to wake up early for. He stops his alarm as soon as it happens and quickly cancels whatever others that are waiting to go off. Stan's muttering cuss words as he wakes up and turns off his alarm, instantly sitting up on the couch, and both of them can hear shuffling from Ben's and Bev's shared room. Soon enough, one pair of foot steps are heard, and just by how fast they are, Richie knows its Bev.

"Morning, losers," she greets, too happy for either of them.

Richie sticks a hand out from under the coffee table and flips her off.

"Surprised you're up, Rich," Stan says, voice laced with sleep.

"Well, Stanny Boy, I've got to get to work at eight and I enjoy not having to rush to drink my coffee."

"I'll start making some then-."

"No!" Both Stan and Richie shout at the same time, suddenly wide awake, and the latter of the two is crawling out from under the coffee table to see Stan grabbing Bev's wrist before she can get any closer to the kitchen. All she's wearing is a very large shirt that they both know at least used to belong to Ben and fuzzy socks, and her short hair is a completely mess from sleep, face contorting in confusion at them.

"...Or not," she says.

Stan sighs in relief and lets her wrist go. "Thank, God," he whispers, and she almost looks offended.

Richie pushes himself up to stand. "Bev, we love you, but you near about poisoned us the last time you made coffee," he tells her. He gently hits her shoulder with the back of his hand as he passes by. "Let me make some. I'd get Stan to do it but he has to do that enough already."

So he does, Beverly hovering behind him, saying she had done exactly what he's currently doing, and by the time the three of them were sipping their coffee, they were baffled at how Bev fucked it up so badly last time. Not too soon after that, their redhead is getting ready for work and leaving just as Ben walks into the kitchen. She gives them all kisses on the cheek before officially leaving. Richie acts as if he's going to kiss her on the lips, and she goes along with it until the very last moment where she tugs hard at his curls, laughing at his pain and kissing Ben right after, finally leaving.

Ben points a spoon at Richie once the door shuts and musters up his best glare in his half asleep state. "Stay away from my woman, Tozier." He smiles, then, and so does Richie.

"I'd never go for her in a million years," Richie says. "...Is that offensive?"

Stan snorts and Ben shakes his head. "Just drink your coffee," Stan says.

+++

[from: cocker staniel 12:02pm Hey. I have a surprise for you.]

[to: cocker staniel 12:02pm u've talked to me a lot in the past 24 hours are u ok] [to: cocker staniel 12:02pm this is......odd....to say the least]

[from: cocker staniel 12:06p You've made my braincells decrease in number drastically so no.] [from: cocker staniel 12:06pm But I do have a surprise for you. We're about to walk in now.]

Richie stares at his messages, blinks, stares some more, and then frowns. Up until then, his day had been going normal. He left Bev's after changing to a set of clothes he keeps there for nights he sleeps over, and went to work, getting there on time. Then, he just started work and is still working, and listening to music on Spotify to pass the time. But Stan texted him, and usually it's not out of the blue; this time, however, it is considering the Jew is supposed to be working - not bringing him a surprise. He texts back a million question marks, because what does Stan mean by 'we'? And what does he mean by 'surprise'? It could mean a million things with that guy, and honestly Richie is still to tired to even try to figure it out. He leans back in the seat for a split second before sitting back up and taking his ear buds out, pausing his music. He then gets up and walks out of his cubicle to the lobby of the law office just in time to see Stan opening the front door, letting an all too familiar T-Rex step inside before him. Richie glances at the receptionist and gives a tight smile as they make eye contact, the woman giving a puzzled one back as the phone starts to ring. Richie looks back at his best friend and little sister, and walks closer.

"Why do you have our little sister?" Richie asks.

Stan makes a face. "I'm not her- Jesus, Richie," he mumbles and facepalms, making Tori laugh slightly. He uncovers his face quickly and sends her a half-hearted glare. "What's so funny?"

"Your face," she deadpans.

Richie laughs loudly and hi-fives Tori who's smiling smugly, Stan now fully glaring at them both. "But seriously, why's Tori with you?"

Stan rolls his eyes but then smirks, and stares down at Tori. This time, she's the one glaring at him. "Care to tell?"

"Oh, how the tables have turn- sorry," Richie awkwardly smiles at Stan's unamused look. He then motions with his head to get closer to the couch so they're out of the way of everyone, if someone decides to come in the lobby, and both college students wait for the sixteen year old to explain herself.

Tori sighs dramatically and plops down on the couch. She loosely crosses her arms and stares up at the two, her sitting a bit awkward because of her backpack. Finally, she explains, "So... I got suspended, right?" She starts, and as Richie and Stan share a look she goes on, "And, like, I did tell Mom and Dad that...but only that I got suspended for the rest of last week and Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of this week. I lied, said something about two major tests I can't miss and that the principal agreed to let me come back to school today, but I'm actually suspended until the end of next week. And, well, Mom got better from her cold so I thought I would be home free for the rest of my suspension until Dad caught something yesterday - he's, like, really fu- uh, hella pale." Stan snorts. "And I couldn't exactly stay home, so I road the town bus around, and then ended up at Stan's job only for him to drag me out because apparently Mom goes there every Thursday for lunch. Just my luck."

By the end of spiel, Richie's face is in both of his hands. He's just shy of twenty, nearly to the point of being an adult and not a 'adult teen' as Beverly's aunt called them once a few months ago, and he's also a big brother who probably should call up his parents and tell them that, "Hey, your second child is lying," or get Tori to tell the entire truth; but Richie's also just a brother to a teen girl who, bless her heart, stresses him the fuck out but someone he'll still do anything for, and somehow that meant keeping her out of getting grounded longer. It's been like this since she was born - and Tori doesn't even know it. She could kill someone and Richie would be at her side helping her hide the body, giving her most of his money, and shipping her off to some country where she doesn't get sent to jail for life.

He groans at that thought. He's in deep shit. She's in deep shit. Stan's in deep shit, because it's the same for him - it's the exact reason he brought her over. He didn't want Tori getting into too much trouble.

In their eyes, she's still a little kid who doesn't know better.

But then again, both him and Stan are basically adults and they can't exactly let a little teenager dictate what they have to do.

Little sisters are the worst, he thinks.

Richie sighs and slowly removes his hands from his face and looks at Tori. She only looks slightly guilty, but he thinks that's just because she nearly got caught if it weren't for Stan, who is chewing his bottom lip, a vague look on his face that says exactly what Richie is thinking. "I should be responsible about this," he says quietly.

Stan nods. "I can easily go back to work and tell your mom."

"And you can't keep lying about your suspensions, Tori."

"Also who rides the city bus alone? You could've gotten kidnapped!"

"I'm the oldest, I should be dialing Mom right now!"

"This is making me an accomplice and I hate it!"

"But... You're not gonna do anything. Are you?" She says the words slowly, brows lowering and a smirk forming, as if realizing something; her voice kept either of the from continuing to spiral in a panic. She's then sitting up and her eyes are bright. The guilt that was there a second ago is now long gone. "I've got you two wrapped around my finger, don't I? This is amazing!" She laughs and points at Stan. "And you keep trying to say you're not my brother, but you practically act like! I can't believe you two lame-os worship the ground I walk on."

"Whoa!"

"Hey, no! That is not a thing we do."

"We do not worship the ground you walk on!" Richie nearly shrieks.

She hums. "But you do," she sing-songs, brows quirking up for a split second.

Richie hands form into fists and he's throwing his head backwards, squeezing his eyes shut. "Tori, I swear to God-," he cuts himself off and looks at her, eyes narrowed. "Okay, this isn't gonna become some sibling manipulation thing now, got it? You- don't give those puppy eyes, Tori- you are going to tell Mom and Dad you got suspended for three weeks, and then- keep those tears in your eyes, missy, you are not a crocodile."

Tori is now glaring at him, hard. The 'about to cry' look is gone in an instant. "Why?"

Stan rolls his eyes. "Why what, Tori?" He asks, voice dry.

She doesn't say anything. Instead, she purses her lips and slumps down again, pouting and maybe even angry at them for not cooperating the way she wants them to.

Richie sighs, shoulders slouching as if he were deflating like a balloon that has a hole in it, and looks to Stan. "Go to work, man, I'll take care of this. It's about time for my lunch break, anyway."

Stan reluctantly nods. "Okay. Have fun." He says the last part quieter in more a whisper, sarcasm dripping from his tone, making Richie scoff out a laugh. Then, Stan goes back to his own job, leaving Richie alone at work with his gremlin of a sister.

Richie pulls Tori up to her feet with a grunt, and keeps his hand on her forearm loosely as he starts walking, Tori having no choice but to follow. He goes to the break room, thankful that no one is there, and motions for her to sit at the table. “I gotta clock out, but then I’ll be back,” he tells her. She just rolls her eyes and he flips her off before walking back out, shutting the door, and he quickly goes to clock out and then heads back to the front desk as the receptionist shouted his name and something about his food being here. He takes the takeout back with his food, thanks her dramatically, and then he’s back in the break room. “Have you eaten?” He asks as he walks in.

Tori looks up from the seat she’s in and shrugs, and Richie can tell that the cut on her lip and her bruised cheek are healing fine now that he’s not distracted by his inner turmoil. “No,” she says finally after him staring at her for a solid thirty seconds.

He sets the bag on the table after closing the door and fishes out the box of food. “I’ve got a large ass burger and shit ton of fries we can share.” Then he’s fishing his wallet out of his pocket and handed her a one dollar bill, and points to the drink machine. “Get yourself a drink.”

As she gets herself a drink, Richie finds a paper plate and a sharp knife and cuts the burger in half the best he can, and then dumps some fries on the paper plate with Tori’s half, handing it to her. He finally sits down to eat after getting his own drink. There would usually be more talking, more jokes and teasing, but considering what just went on in the lobby both Tozier kids were subdued.

“I’m not gonna tell Mom and Dad,” Richie finally speaks up a few minutes later. “You need to do it.”

She makes a face. “I already got grounded for what I did tell them,” she says, “And if I say anything I’ll be grounded for even longer.”

“At least you’re telling the truth.”

She scoffs and rolls her eyes. “Can you go back to being an annoying fifteen year old with no sense of maturity what’s so ever?”

He acts as if her were thinking, tapping a finger to his chin as he looks up, humming. “Hm... No,” he finally settles with and gives her a large grin.

“Bold if you he has any maturity now,” Bev says as she walks in. There’s a salad in one hand and a drink in the other. The redhead’s words make the teenager laugh, and Richie rolls his eyes, Bev grinning at their reactions.

“I gave you that food, Tori, I’ll take it away.” The threat is an empty one, everyone knew that, so Tori barely reacts negatively. She just sits in a position that’s copying her brother’s and puts on a deep voice to mock him. She ends up in a small fit of giggles as Beverly sits down at the table. “Oh, screw you.”

“Oh, screw you,” Tori copies, voice now high pitched.

Richie glares at her and grabs three fries from her plate and stuffs them in his mouth.

“Hey!”

Richie gives her a smug smile as he chews, only to freeze as someone lets out a sound that is somehow both equally amused and disgusted as they walk in. He turns his head towards the direction of the refrigerator where the person is now standing, and nearly chokes on the fries. It’s Cute Ass, reaching in the fridge and Richie can’t tell if he’s putting something in or taking something out, but he doesn’t bother to try and figure it out because he’s hit with another realization: Cute Ass is the file boy Sasha and Deb were talking about Monday, and they’re right. He’s on the short side. Not as small as Bev, but short nonetheless. He swallows his food and looks at his best friend with wide eyes.

“Hey, Rich, how much do you like The Cure?” She asks, smirking, able to get away with it since her back is to the other guy.

He tried to school his features and keep his eyes on her as the other guy closes the fridge finally, hand clutching a a sprite bottle. “A normal amount,” Richie forces himself to say.

Tori snorts, causing the three to look at her. “Dude, you used to blast them everyday after school! I’ve got ‘Just Like Heaven’ stuck in my head permanently because of you!”

“Who even like The Cure anymore anyway?” Cute Ass asks, and then three pairs of eyes were on him and- holy shit, he’s beautiful.

He had to be around his and Bev’s age, with wide, deep brown eyes and dark brown hair, and smooth skin, and Richie swears he sees some freckles across the other guy’s nose, which is scrunched up in the cutest way; he looks disgusted, maybe offended, but definitely confused at someone still liking The Cure. Richie has the urge to clutch at his heart like he did the night before when he was being dramatic – only this time it would be to still it so he can breathe normally. But then the words are catching up to his brain, and Richie gives the guy a very offended look.

“You mean, who doesn’t like The Cure,” he corrects. “Your taste in music must be terrible.”

“My taste in music is fucking amazing, thank you very much, and way better than yours.”

“You know nothing about my taste in music!”

“You like The Cure. That’s all I need to know.”

Richie’s brows shoot up and he gapes at him. “Well, by that I know yours is shit, no matter what mine is.”

Cute Ass glares. “For all you know, I might like the Jonas Brothers.”

“They’re shit- ow!” He glares at Tori and Bev; the former had punched him in the shoulder and Beverly kicked him in the leg. “What the hell?!”

“They’re not shit!” Tori exclaims.

“Yeah! They’re magnificent – well, Kevin and Joe are. Nick broke up the band, so he’s out,” Bev says. Then, she’s smirking again. “Besides, didn’t you go to one of their concerts for the Burnin’ Up tour?”

“Twice,” Tori answers for her brother. “And then, he went to a Niall concert and a Harry concert, and before that went to see One Direction three times!”

“Because Ben wanted to, and so did you!” Richie defends himself, though he doesn’t know why – he genuinely liked the boyband and may or may not look up to Harry Styles. “Actually, no, I’m- I like them. The Jo Bro’s? Decent. One Direction – band and solo? Amazing. I’m not afraid to admit that. But The Cure is good! They’re amazing too! You,” he points at Cute Ass accusatorially, “probably like, I dunno, weird country music.”

Cute Ass laughs. “Ew, gross. Country music? My ears’ll bleed!”

Richie nods with a smile. “Okay. So, now you’ve got two redeeming qualities.”

He looks back at Richie, confused, and Beverly is stuffing her mouth full of salad to keep herself from laughing. “Two?” He questions. “What’s the other one?”

Richie, for a second, wants to take his words back. But, hey, he’s enjoying Cute Ass even if he does hate The Cure, and it’s weird but seeing him riled up makes him cuter and hotter, so Richie tells the truth. “Your ass,” he says as blunt as ever, and grins cheekily afterward.

The guy blinks. Then, his face in flushing pink and glances behind him for a split second before looking back to Richie. “God, you- you... What the fuck? That’s disgusting!”

Richie just laughs and the cutie flips him off before walking out, mumbling to himself. He leans back in his seat with a large smile. Tori says something about agreeing with the guy who just left and Bev is giving him a look – one he can’t entirely decipher so he doesn’t – but he just goes back to eating his lunch. His heart is still racing, and he can feel the tiniest amount of heat on his cheeks, but he doesn’t exactly care. The guy with the cute ass is pretty – stunning, even – and Richie has half the urge to follow him, just to annoy him some more and somehow get a name because he knows he’s still not going to get one from Bev. But he stays in his seat, large grin turning a bit dopey, and finishes his lunch before sending Tori back over to Stan.

[idthellyeah-blog]

A totally timely and significant review of Rancid’s “...And Out Come The Wolves”

(I honestly don’t remember when I wrote this, maybe 2015. Definitely just got jacked up on something and decided that I needed to write a track by track review of an album I loved when I was a cool punk teen. It has just been sitting in my Google Drive patiently waiting to be posted.)

 I remember the first time I ever heard/saw Rancid was when the video for “Salvation” off of their second album “Let’s Go” premiered on MTV. Such an 80’s/90’s kid thing to do, discovering a new band by seeing a music video on TV, ugh. I thought the leather clad mohawked bad boys were amazing and perfect and so cool...that I immediately tried to spike my hair using gelatin (tru punx only) and got a leather jacket (did not look that cool and was very sweaty).  When “...And Out Come The Wolves” came out the next year (1995, I’m old AF) I was totally enamored and had found my #1 favorite album of all time (that lasted for like a year until music got better).  I was supposed to go see Rancid at a big show in Omaha, I lived in a small town called Columbus that was roughly 90 minutes away from the big city...but the day of my mom didn’t let me go because I had bad math grades.  I reacted the way any entitled white teen did, by laying in the garage and crying and playing their album.  That show wound up being a huge to-do when fans tore up seats in the venue and threw cushions at the band leading to Rancid not playing Omaha for a long time.  I missed out on some cool bad-ass punk rock shit, first world problems. Fast forward to today when I decided that I, Ian Douglas Terry, needed to write out a song-by-song review of this quintessential punk album.  I’m a real music nut, and obviously very good at structured writing...so here we go!  (Rock on)

1. Maxwell Murder - Oh boy, this one starts with like a subway train sound and then the beginning of a killer/complicated Matt Freeman bass line.  That dude SHREDS the bass, and even has a wild solo in this song.  That’s tight.  Why did they stop letting him sing?  He sounded like a fun Muppet on their first album and I loved his songs.  Maybe he wanted to focus on just shredding the bass and using tons of pomade.

2. The 11th Hour - This song is great.  It is poppy and upbeat and about a woman having dreams and demanding answers.  Hell yeah.  I love good punk music that supports women and feminism and figuring out where the power lies (spoiler alert, it starts and ends with you).  Remember how Brody from The Distillers left Tim Armstrong for the dude from Queens of the Stone Age? And then he got all fat and got a beard?  I can completely relate to that, and have been there sans beard.

3. Roots Radicals - This song RULES.  I had to look up what “Moonstompers” were and who “Desmond Dekker” was.  I remember trying to relate to this like it could somehow compare to living in a town with 20,000 people and the nicest Wal-Mart in the tri-county area.  Remember how there was that Spanish language cover of this on one of those “Give Em The Boot” comps that Hellcat put out? That was real tight.

4. Time Bomb - Hit single baby!  This had a huge hand in getting punk kids into reggae/ska for sure.  Killer organ solo, lots of rude boy shit going, I loved it so much.  Tim Armstrong totally re-used lyrics from the song “Motorcycle Ride” from the previous album...which is hilarious.  Like c’mon dawg...you should know your own lyrics.  I learned how to do the solo from this and felt like a guitar god (it is a very easy solo, like almost too easy).

5. Olympia, WA - I love songs like this that are about cities that the band isn’t from...so you have to fire up your imagination (or just read the lyrics) and be like, “What went down in Olympia, Washington????”.  Turns out it was mostly hanging out on different streets in New York and playing pinball with Puerto Ricans while wishing you were with a person who you were sleeping with in Washington.  Hell yeah, just like Shakespeare.

6. Lock, Step & Gone - Songs about docks were HUGE in my youth.  Dropkick Murphy’s had like eight songs about boys on them, and this Rancid song alludes to them.  I loved all of the blue collar, working class ideology that had nothing to remotely do with my comfortable upper middle class (not sure if that’s accurate because my parents were teachers, and like is there even a middle class any more?) life. This song definitely sums itself up at then end when it says “There’s a whole lot of nothin”.

7. Junky Man - Another theme that I could definitely relate to in a town of 20,000 people with like ten people who did meth...Junkies!  This song is pretty great because the dude from the Basketball Diaries does some sick poetry in it...that movie was nuts.  I like that song that he later wrote/sang about all the people he knew who died. The only way poetry can be cool is if the person is an insane drug addict with cool/sad stories to tell. Otherwise it is just loud diary reading.

8. Listed MIA - At this point I wholeheartedly agree with this song, “I’m checking out”.  I don’t know if I ever really liked this song or if this was just part of the “I accidentally left it playing after the first four songs that I liked were over”.  Lars says the derogatory f-word for homosexuals in it, because people called him that word...that doesn’t seem cool man.  I get that it rhymes with “maggots”, but maybe give white dudes in the Midwest less reasons to sing that word out loud.

9. Ruby Soho - This is one of the best songs ever, hands down.  It is beautiful and you can barely understand what Tim Armstrong is saying but it is wonderful.  I feel like deciphering his lyrics led me to be able to understand most speech impediments, so hell yeah.  This song is about loving someone a lot but having to leave them because it isn’t working out. This song was the blueprint for every romantic relationship I’ve ever had in my entire life so it might be a gypsy curse.

10. Daly City Train - Oh hell yeah, fun Reggae drums!  Through punk and ska I grew to appreciate Reggae, but through being bummed out about that culture’s deep seated homophobia and the fact that most of it is super repetitive and boring and for dad’s on vacation.  I’m just glad that 311 taught me to love those smooth Caribbean sounds again (oh god am I joking or am I serious, I can’t tell any more please save me).

11. Journey to the End of the Easy Bay - I can still play this bass line and was very proud of myself the first time I half-way pulled it off.  It doesn’t sound as smooth and nuanced as the way Matt Freeman plays it, but goddamn it I think that was the height of my skill as a musician.  This song rules themes about needing to belong and finding a place with people who thought and felt the same as you...and then losing it as everyone grows out of it.  This was most of my early 20’s. I grew up in a scene with similarly minded people, it eventually ended and I still have contact with some of those people but that point in my life will never be replicated. I finally belonged somewhere and was part of something bigger than me.  Now I do comedy and it is bleak, entitled, and sad and mostly alcoholics talking about their dicks.  Please take me back.

12. She’s Automatic - This is not a bad song but a very confusing way to describe a woman.  I get that it means she is effortless in “the way that she moves” but maybe I’m not giving Lars any poetic license because he looks like a guy who punched books. This woman sounds great though, and I’m sure they dated for three months.  Revisiting this and that era reminds me that I almost had sex with a girl at the first X-men movie...man, being punk ruled.

13. Old Friend - Back to the Raggae!  This song is pretty great, but they really missed an opportunity of selling this to a heartburn medicine company.  “Good morning heartache, you’re like an old friend come and see me again”...that would be perfect for a commercial of a guy eating a giant plate of lasagna and making a “Oh boy, I did it again!” face.  The Transplants sold a song to that fruit shampoo, maybe this is something I can retroactively help negotiate.

14. Disorder and Disarray -  I love when punk bands have songs about “business men” being evil and the industry being bad.  Like when Against Me were part of an Anarchist collective and then on a major label putting out really bad music.  Rancid was at least on Epitaph, which while arguably not “cool” it was at least run by a kind of punk dude who is responsible for the biggest/shittiest corporate garbage of a festival, The Warped Tour.  This song has a part towards the end where they talk to each other like David Lee Roth would do in Van Halen songs, that rules.

15. The Wars End - I get that this is a song about little Sammy being a punk rocker but at this point I think they should have admitted this album was fine with 10-12 songs and maybe some of these were super repetitive and unnecessary.  It's like you’re forcing it. I can’t imagine the dude who recorded it had a lot of fun and he probably fell asleep and was startled awake and had to pretend like he’d been paying attention the whole time.

16. You Don’t Care Nothin - This starts out with the exact chord progression from Journey To The End Of The East Bay….c’mon guys. You Don’t Care Nothin about being succinct and making your songs individual expressions of art! The themes even seem like something they’ve already gone over.  I’m going to eat some soup, brb.

17. As Wicked - Is this a different song or a weird breakdown?  Oh, it’s a different song.  Well...this soup is pretty good.  Chicken Noodle, but the chunky kind.  It isn’t amazing but it is good. I should really cook more.  Maybe I’ll order Chinese later.

18. Avenues & Alleyways - I don’t really have a problem with this song because it has the “Oi oi oi” chant that the bands I was in during High School would do and we had no idea why other than popular bands doing it.  It is very catchy.  It sounds like the other two songs were just building up to finally getting your attention back. Plus it has a breakdown with people clapping, that is always fun.  This has to be the last song right? It is the perfect last song on an album!

19. The Way I Feel -  FUUUUUUUCK!  What? Really should have ended the album on that last song, it had a good “anthem” vibe and at least wrapped this up into a somewhat sensible endeavor.  This song could have been stuck in the middle somewhere, or maybe just not recorded with about seven others?  The Way I Feel about this album is that there are some parts that hold up and are still fun to listen to, but the rest of it just seems like I’m being forced to read my own teenage diary and it is boring and sad. Nostalgia is a bummer, I can’t imagine having Rancid still be my favorite band.  I’d probably still wear a chain wallet and spiky bracelet and be one of those obnoxious old drunk weirdos I see at shows that stick out like crazy sore thumbs. Bummer dude.

    Oh wow, what a journey (to the end of the east bay, am I right?)...I’m glad I was finally able to get this review out so people could finally know what this album means to me and my generation of lazy weirdos. This took me six months to write and I should be congratulated for being a journalist with tons of integrity and great taste.  True punks never die, they just eventually chill out and shop at Kohl’s.

[weeklyfangirl]

Previously on Frat Boy...

*this does not include chapters 1-3, we’re getting straight into it!

Jumping into CHAPPIE 4

IT’S A NIGHTMARE AT KEANS! A potentially seductive tutoring session gone wrong, Harry ends up beating up some good-for-nothings (remember the cheap cologne and snake tattoo) who tried to mug her and potentially something mUCH WORSE. She gets a slice on her neck from it and Harry is all brooding and rain-soaked and carries her to the car in sILENCE

HE SPENDS THE NIGHT BECAUSE SHE’S TOO SCARED TO BE BY HERSELF AND HE JUST DEADASS CHOOSES THE FLOOR OVER GETTING INTO BED WITH HER

BUT THEN she scoots over to make some room for him and they end up mAKING OUT AND Harry is just being so cuddly??? And soft???? And when she asks him why he’s being like this he says, “Not everyone’s you.”

Renny walks in though and that leaves an awkward moment when Harry picks up his pants and leaves in a rush and then she’s not quite sure where that leaves her and Harry #THANKSRENNY      

CHAPPIE 5

She doesn’t listen to harry and goes to class the next day because she can’t be alone so when she enters the lecture hall she sees Harry and – ALERT! ALERT!!!!! THERE’S A GIGGLY GIRL BETWEEN HIS LEGS *cough* it’s Vivienne *cough*

After class is over she quickly leaves in hopes she’ll be able to escape Harry’s attention BUT he races to catch up with her *swoon*

After last night’s cuddle and MAKEOUT SESH HELLO things seem to be going well with them and so he asks her to wear his jersey before the big game

SHE SAYS NO!??? WHAT!??? SHE’S SUCH A BISH WHAT THE FUCK

Exact words: “It was a mistake. I was scared and lonely and you were… you were just there.”

Harry points out that HELLO it was HER who kissed HIM first

Then Vivienne comes out of class to join them and has to butt her head into it and mention some random dress requirements about how he should be looking good tonight

That CLEARLY meant it was a date (wrong) so she felt justified in turning him down like that (wrong)

Anywho, mum finds out about Keans and Renny wants her to go to the authorities but they both don’t push her.

And it’s the... *drumroll* Sorority Halloween party! She was NOT expecting harry to be the DJ

^^^ Basically how it went down in a few bullet points

The sorority girls were emotional hoes and made an open-ended invitation so they could see what the girls took away from it (aka who dressed as a hoe and who didn’t) - Renny exposed her hoe-ish side whereas she was dressed nicely

SO they switch clothes so Renny can save her own skin. Fast forward five minutes and she’s bent over the sink in a short plaid skirt while she tries to get the boob stain out when Harry comes up behind her. Her exact thoughts -

SO she tries to take the high road and apologize to Harry about earlier BUT HARRY’S A HURT PUPPY NOW OKAY NO ONE GETS TO MAKE HIM FEEL STUPID

So Harry interrupts her apology. But she thought he’d cared a bit?? And he looked actually hurt this morning??? He was acting different last night too and here she was actually APOLOGIZING …. But now he’s back to being a dick and he tells her it meant nothing to him and is, well, pretty harsh. (Which OBVI gets her butthurt)

She runs away to grab Renny and escape but Renny wants to stay because this is THE choicest party of the year and she NEEDS to get into this sorority

She gets it, so she turns to leave but then races up the stairs because she saw him up there and DAMN IT SHE WILL HAVE THE LAST WORD IF IT’S THE LAST THING SHE DOES BECAUSE SHE HAS A SUSPICION THAT HE’S LYING TO HER AND DAMN IT SHE WON’T BE MADE TO LOOK THE FOOL

BIG MISTAKE- she hears him with another woman behind the door. 

She runs away. Sadness. Confusion.

She sees Zayn in the street and he’s bummed because it isn’t working out with this model he’s drawing but he’s nice, and sweet...

CHAPPIE 6

It’s FOOTBALL TIME – they go to a soccer game and she drools over how hot harry is and he seems EXTRA worked up on the fieLD. A little ANGRY. A little HURT.

They win and some drunken sportsman just grabs her face and kisses her

They camp to celebrate their victory and Zayn is getting nice and talkative with her, but Renny is texting Niall and he invites her to the beach party the team’s throwing at the expensive vintage cottages on the other side of the highway

THIS HOE MAKES HER WALK HER ALL THE WAY THERE but of course she isn’t going to stay because HARRY IS THERE. So she has to leave. By herself.

But not before she sees the guy who kissed her in the stands and he was HELLA beat up

*suspicious*

We get a little insight into Harry’s judgemental “i hate every single one of you” mindset and he has a sass down with Renny before running after her because HELLO RENNY U DUMB SHIT SHE JUST WENT THROUGH ALL THIS TRAUMATIC NASTINESS AND U SEND HER OUT TO THE CAMPGROUNDS ALONE?!!!!

SO harry is a lil stalker and follows her back to the grounds. She almost has a heart attack when she sees him but she (though annoyed) accepts the company. They try and play a little game of 21 questions but it really turns into “I’ll answer one vaguely and you can ask one later” after harry gets snappy about his parents #parentproblems.

Things get a little foggy but he ends up whining and getting into the sleeping bag with her

BUT GET THIS…. SHE’S THE ONE TO SNUGGLE UP AGAINST HIM IN HER SLEEP INDUCED STATE

And then in the middle of the night she has a nightmare and he comforts her, holds her, says it’s gonna be okay :(

That was a little aggressive. Let’s move on to CHAPPIE 7 

IT’S THE MORNING AFTER HEY-O and Zayn offers to take her out for pancakes with the guys but Harry’s all like nah man I’m taking her, look I already took down the tent and everything I’m such a hunky man. So Zayn leaves. Harry takes her home (not to bed) before leaving in his nice ass range rover because he has these elusive “plans” and she ALMOST gets him to smile but then he offered to pay for her notes and she took it the wrong way

MOM VISITS and she bought her a dress for the sorority dinner tonight at the fancy shmancy restaurant. There’s a lil bit of tension because...well… where is this money coming from??? But she doesn’t say anything, because her mom is trying so hard. And she just wants her to be happy.

We jump to the sorority dinner and Vivienne’s there. She misses out on dessert which she was NOT happy about. Why’d she miss out? Because Harry paid for her meal while he was on a date with another woman and she ran out in a huff. Harry chases her, but they get in an even bigger argument because she’s fired up about harry being with ANOTHER girl and she’s all I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU OKAY YOU’RE GOING TO DIE ALONE

(basically)

Which leads us to our most-recent CHAPPIE 8

She regrets being so angry last night at Harry because she revealed her emotions to him – well, the alcohol did. But - no going back now!

Zayn asks her to model for her at the coffee shop!! You say yes!! Shocker!!!! He leaves happy with a pep in his step. But she hopes it’s not because he LIKES her in a certain WAY ;)

But…. *dramatic music* SHE SEES THE MYSTERY DATE KISSING ANOTHER MAN AT THE COFFEE SHOP WHEN SHE’S ABOUT TO LEAVE

So she goes to visit Harry’s practice to rat out the cheater because she doesn’t want a girl using him (why does she care though amiright?)

BUT THE GIRL IS HARRY’S SISTER WHAT

And thus she gets invited to their family dinner and she has no idea what she’s gotten herself into

The long awaited CHAPPIE 9 starts up in the Styles’s mansion home on Coast Hills Drive

passing Teslas, Porsches, you know, the standard, turns out Harry has THE LARGEST FREAKING FAMILY HOME ON THE CORNER (obvi, did we expect anything less) 

A “meet his highly dysfunctional family” kind of dinner with the unwelcomed guest Viv, and hosted by Mary and Lionel Styles. All is well until... Y/N points out that only Harry, Gemma, and her bf Charlie are the ones with the accent 

AND THEN Harry flips his sh*t over his dad saying he’s a beach bum because apparently that’s a lie that runs DEEP (#daddyissues?). Basically everyone is uncomfortable and Harry ditches the table. 

She’s leaving, too, when Viv runs after her and dishes that the reason they don’t all have accents is because Harry is adopted. 

JUST WHEN SHE THOUGHT SHE COULD LEAVE.... her car dies. Embarrassing, really. Right in front of Harry and his gazillion dollar mansion.

Now it’s a forced impromptu sleepover and Harry gives you a tour of the house - there’s the living wing where his parents sleep and where his dad keeps live animals, the movie theatre, sunroom, panoramic ocean views...

the guest room she gets set up in is nice, and she tries to find face soap in the cabinets but THERE’S JUST PILLS AND WABAM! - MARY STYLES IS SITTING EERILY AT THE FOOT OF THE GUEST BED WATCHING HER. She points to the sky and mumbles something about how she picked it. And something about a Jane. 

Harry comes and whisks crazy lady away, but now she has the heeby jeebies in that empty room and she walks to Harry’s door in the middle fo the night becAUSE WHAT OTHER HUNKY MAN WILL MAKE HER FEEL SAFE.

We pick-up right where we left off in CHAPPIE 10 

Harry’s all rambly and cute and fetches her some different pills (melatonin) to help her sleep 

Somehow she makes it to his bed HELLO and they’re listening to the waves crash when she mentions Viv because that bish is still on her mind and she can’t shake the feeling that THAT is the hoe harry’s been with

obvi he answers they’re just longtime family friends

AND THEN LIKE A BIG GIRL SHE APOLOGIZES FOR BEING NASTY TO HIM AND SAYING MEAN THINGS AT THAT SORORITY DINNER 

And then she finally expresses her vulnerabilities!! Yes girl!! She tells him he says it doesn’t matter a lot, and he whips it back and says she’s the one who said it first after the make out sesh post-Keans coffee mugging fiasco. SO she tells him why she said it didn’t matter!!! AKA because she didn’t want to get hurt and believe he thought of her any differently than all the other girls in the past. Progress! Expression! 

But then...BUT THEN... HE APOLOGIZES FOR KISSING HER. Even though people kiss all the time she wasn’t “people” and hE THINKS HE TOOK ADVANTAGE OF HER SCARED STATE!?? Why so sweet??

and then when he offers for her to sleep there there’s this weird tensiony “you’re really hot and sexy in the moonlight and you’re right freaking next to me” tension & she tries to kiss him 

BUT HE SAYS DON’T, THAT HE CAN’T, THAT HE’S SORRY SHE CAME THERE

 After agonizing minutes of observing his peaceful chiseled body, she asks him why there’s a crib in the closet - but naturally he’s already asleep SO NO ANSWERS ARE GIVEN 

Then in the AM Charlie gets the jumper cables that were there the ENTIRE TIME (thanks for NOT mentioning that, Harry) so she and her car “Grandpa” are good to leave

Gemma’s there to say goodbye, too and she said that Harry handled everything well yesterday.... that they didn’t hear anything...

But when Charlie pulls her in for a side hug it triggers a distant memory about someone and she pushes it away... 

Back at school, she’s wrapping up Matt the perfect American boy athlete’s shoulder when he says she smells like boy. It’s Harry. She smells like his cologne and bedsheets, and she rips off the shirt as soon as she can. 

And now that we’re all caught up, CHAPPIE 11 IS DROPPIN WITHIN 24 HOURS!!!!

[betweenthepage]

Unbecoming Recap

It’s officially September which means, we’ve finished The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer and are starting The Evolution of Mara Dyer! Yay!!

Under the cut, I’ll be giving a brief recap of the happenings of Unbecoming (mainly for those who can’t/don’t have time to re read before The Becoming of Noah Shaw comes out. I got you)

IF YOU’D LIKE TO JOIN @iliveinbooks AND I IN RE-READING, YOU CAN CLICK HEEREEEE. 

Some spoilers below. And maybe some things to discuss?

We start Unbecoming with one of my favorite openings of any book; a letter written by “Mara Dyer” on a disclosed date in New York. Later on it’s important

Mara was in an accident where a building collapsed and her friends, Claire, Rachel, and Jude (at the time boyfriend) died

Mara has PTSD, among other things, due to the accident

Mara’s mom, Indi, keeps a close eye on her 

Mara and her older brother Daniel start school at Croyden high

Anna and Aiden are bullies and assholes and they will eventually be important in a small way

Mara meets Noah briefly 

Mara eventually makes a friend in Jamie Roth 

Mara has hallucinations and sees Jude around campus and Claire in the mirror

It comes to Mara’s attention that her father--a lawyer-- took on a high profile case and that’s one of the main reasons her family moved to Florida. 

After coming home from a party, Mara burns herself with the bath water after “seeing” that her mother’s earrings had fallen in, resulting in second-degree burns. 

Mara encounters an abused dog and when confronted by the owner, imagines a crude death for him. She calls animal control, and later when she goes to check on the dog, finds the owner dead in the exact way she imaged (WHICH HE DESERVED, FUCKING ASSHOLE STARVING POOR MABLE)

Noah helps Mara get the dog--Mable--some help with his step-mom, who is a vet.

Anna steals Mara’s sketch pad and shows it to everyone, where it’s found that she draws Noah. Instead being the dick in the movies who laughs, Noah turns around and says that he knows about it. 

Noah asks Mara on a date. She agrees

Noah meets Mara’s family, and Joseph--Mara’s younger brother-- asks for Noah’s number.

On their first date, Mara and Noah talk in the car and he holds her hand (WHICH IS A THING LATER, I’M NOT WEIRD)

Mara passes out after a hallucination and mildly confesses to Noah about why her family moved

Mara has an oral exam in Spanish where things get out of hand and Mara is kicked out

Ms. Morales--the Spanish teacher--fails Mara, and she tries to remedy her grade. Later in the story, Mara imagines her dead and finds her dead in the same way she imagined it. It’s said that Morales had an allergic reaction to fire ants, which caused her death.

Jamie confesses to Mara that Noah used Jamie’s sister, Stephanie, to get back at Jamie for being in a relationship with Katie (Noah’s sister) PAY ATTENTION TO THIS. 

Jamie gets expelled from school after Aiden said he threatened him and he and Anna planted a knife to frame him. Thus, leaving Mara virtually friendless. 

Later, Daniel takes Mara for a check-up on her burn, where the doctor finds that it is 100% healed. She writes it off as a mistake on the part of the DR’s in ER.

One night, Noah comes to Mara, saying that Joseph has been kidnapped. They find him in a swamp, where he is unconscious but unhurt. While getting Joseph back to the car, Mara imagines the alligators in the swamp dead, in order to save her brother, Noah, and her self. 

Noah takes Mara to a spiritual meeting on her birthday, after she insists, and they find Mr. Lukumi, a Santeria specialist, who helps her remember what happened to her, using a weird mix of things that may or may not contain fresh chicken blood.

Mara wakes up in Noah’s room where eventually they kiss and Noah stops breathing. Noah “wakes up” and tells Mara that it was a dream and never actually happened.  

Mara eventually remembers what happened in the accident, where she realizes that Jude almost raped her. She realizes that, in her terror, SHE made the building collapse, and killed her friends and Jude. She also concludes that she indeed killed Mabel’s owner and Morales, as well as the animals in the everglade. This eventually leads Mara to a depressive state. 

Noah eventually breaks Mara out of her depressive episode and she confesses to him about what is going on and how she believes she is the cause of it. Noah also confesses that he may have something similar going on, stating that he sometimes has visions of people--including Mara and Joseph. He continues on, saying that he can “hear” many things in people, including when they lie, when their hearts start racing, and when they’re hurt. He also confesses to being able to heal himself and others, revealing that he healed Mara’s burn, among other things. 

After not being able to find Lukumi again, Noah takes Mara to a zoo where he has access to animals and insects to test their powers. Mara ends up killing all the animals from the terror of them. She also finds that fish and alligators in the swamp where they found Joseph, have died too. 

Thinking that her father’s client was the one who kidnapped Joseph, Noah and Mara race to the courthouse where Mara decides to kill Lassiter if he is found not guilty for the murder of Jordana Palmer. Noah tries to convince Mara that it’s not worth it, and while she continues on with her plan, she finds that Lassiter AND her father were shot by Jordana’s mother. (This event, I believe is important later on)

In a flurry of guilt, Mara decides to “turn herself in” to the police. While at the station, she sees Jude, alive, and with hands. 

So I think that’s pretty much the main parts of the story. 

To talk about the second to last point, in the book Mara recounts all the deaths she’s caused and how she decides 100% that she wants Lassiter to die for taking Joseph. I think this is the real moment where she starts to become the anti-hero that most of us know from the later book (and for those people just starting the serious, you’ll see what I mean later). This is the first moment where she consciously decides to kill someone, not out of self-defense, or even on accident, but on pure, unadulterated hatred. It’s honestly such a great turning point for her character. And the one person who really knows about this, does not see it happening. 

SO I’M JUST GONNA PUT SOME OF MY FAVORITE QUOTES ON HERE. SOME. CAUSE THERE’S A LOT AND I’M TIRED.  

We were so different. I had none of her exquisite Indian features; not her perfect oval face or her lacquer-black hair. Instead, my father’s patrician nose and jaw were reflected in my own.

I threatened him with Ebola

One little joke involving hemorrhagic fever and they brand you ‘unstable.’ 

I’d figure out how to break the news to my parents that--surprise!--we have a dog. They had to take pity on their screwed-up daughter and her pathetic companion. I was not above milking my tragedy for a high purpose. (I will forever be sad that Mara in fact did not get a companion)

That’s my girl. 

“You like me,” he finally said. “You like me, like me.” He was trying not to smile. “No. I hate you.”

You crotch-pheasant (honestly, the amount of colorful names is my favorite. LET’S NOT FORGET EVERYONE’S FAVORITE, ASSCROWN)

“Death cab?” I asked. “Really?”

His touch felt like home

The Ebola kid?

“Ibrahim Hassin?” Noah nodded. I died. 

“Joseph actually,” Noah said, texting something back. “And to offer a stock tip.” I have the strangest family. 

But none of this matters, because you’re not going to listen to your token black Jewish bi friend, are you? (LOOK AT THIS. READ THIS LINE OVER. I LOVE THE DIVERSITY IN JUST THIS LINE)

Noah fights dirty. 

Don’t let the man keep you down.

I should haul back and smack him, strike a blow for feminism or something....

You ought to go to NYU. More diversity. It’s not healthy to have too many geniuses packed into one campus. (COUGH COUGH)

Yeah. Nothing like hearing the girl you just started dating is on anti psychotics 

Hookers and blow aren’t cheap, but I suppose animal sacrifice will have to do. Happy birthday. 

“What,” I asked slowly, as I eyed the animal crackers strewn all over it, “the hell?” “You were convinced they were your pets,” Noah said, not even trying to suppress his laughter. “You wouldn’t let me touch them.” 

The husk of a girl not-named Mara stared back at me. I wondered how I would kill her. (COUGH)

The necklace he always wore had slipped out during the night. I looked closely at it for the first time; the pendant was just a slim line of silver--half hammered into the shape of a feather, the other half a dagger. 

I would have been afraid if I didn’t know better. the scariest thing in the room was me. 

I was made for you, Mara. 

And that’s it for this round. So far on Mara’s hitlist, we have five people dead (six if you count Lassiter who is basically a vegetable and will not wake up), and numerous animals and insects. I count Lassiter, SO SIX PEOPLE DEAD, LOOK AT MY GIRL GO. WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO MARA? IS JUDE REALLY THERE OR IS THIS JUST ANOTHER HALLUCINATION? FIND OUT NEXT TIME AS WE READ THE EVOLUTION OF MARA DYER. 

[lost-n-stereo]

they’ll call our crimes a work of art

Part 1

There are miles upon miles of sun scorched earth between San Diego and the Texas border.

He downshifts, the engine purring as he speeds down the deserted highway. Desert passes them on both sides, wide open space as far as the eye can see and he knows with almost complete certainty that they are in the free and clear.

For now, at least.

“Woooo!”

Clarke bangs on the headliner next to him, her hair messy and wild from being trapped under a baseball cap all day. A black duffle bag rests at her feet and even though it’s zipped up tight he knows that inside contains the very thing that they need to survive.

Money. Lots and lots of fucking money.

Two point two million, to be exact. He feels a little like Robin Hood, robbing from the rich to give to the poor. Only in their case, they are the poor.

Well, he’s the poor because Clarke is what she calls “rich adjacent” meaning her family is rich so by association so is she. Ivy League, medical school, scholarships. These are all words that mean less than nothing to him, just a poor kid from the wrong side of San Diego, but to Clarke they meant confinement. Restrictions.

Basically the opposite of freedom.

Murphy looks over at her, a wide smile crossing her pretty face as she rests her bare feet on the dashboard of his Trans AM. It’s a piece of shit that his dad left him before he died but it’s fast as hell and got them away from California quicker than the bus.

It only hurts a little when he remembers that he has to ditch it as soon as they hit Arizona.

“I can’t believe we just did that,” Clarke says, popping her gum as she stares out at the passing scenery. “We are bad ass, baby!”

Murphy laughs, reaches over and rests his hand between her thighs. “You’re damn right we are.”

Clarke grins and reaches over to turn the radio up, rolls down her window and lets her hand make air waves as The Rolling Stones pump through the speakers.

Nothing is ever going to feel this good he thinks as they speed down the I-10. He hasn’t seen another car in miles and doesn’t expect they will anytime soon but they are going to have to stop for gas if he stays at this pace.

“Getting hungry?”

Clarke nods and turns down the music. “Let’s find a diner. One of those old school ones with the red vinyl seats and a jukebox at every table.”

“Kind of a tall order,” he chuckles. “But your wish is my command, Princess.”

If you would have told him a year ago, hell even six months ago, that he’d be pulling a Bonnie and Clyde with the richest girl from his high school he would have either laughed in your face or punched you in the face.

Probably the latter because he’s always been a bit of a shithead.

When he ran into her at a club downtown four months ago she was downright fucked, knocking back tequila shots with a girl named Raven he remembered from their high school.

“What’s eating you?” He asked when she literally bumped into him at the bar.

“No one,” she’d said with a snicker and her hand immediately went to her mouth. “Oh my god, forget I just said that.”

“Not a fucking chance.” He’d just laughed and wondered if she even remembered him. John Murphy, class asshole. Not much else to remember probably but he remembered her all the same. The way she dated both the jocks and the cheerleaders. The hottest girl in school although she cared more about her studies than clothes and makeup.

“How have you been, Murphy?”

To say he had been surprised would be a fucking understatement. In fact he’s pretty sure he actually choked a little on his Jack and Coke.

“I’ve been fine, Clarke. Yourself?”

“I got dumped,” she had lamented, her eyes rolling as if recalling whatever fucked up thing ended her relationship. “My girlfriend found herself a new girlfriend so here I am. Getting sloshed because apparently I have zero self control.”

“Oh, now I don’t know about that,” he’d laughed. “Remember that night in Finn Collins’ basement? We got matched up for seven minutes in heaven and I’m pretty sure you kneed me in the balls when I suggested you give me a little kiss.”

Clarke snorted so hard her hand shook and tequila came dangerously close to flying out of her shot glass. “If I remember correctly, you tried to stick your tongue down my throat and said ‘Hey baby, you know you want some of this.’”

“Sounds like me.”

If he was shocked as hell that she remembered him he was even more surprised when she reached her hand over, ran her pinkie finger up the inside seam of his jeans at his thigh.

“And what about now?”

He had licked his lips, let his gaze fall to the way her black dress clung tightly to her curves. “Now? Now I’d prefer if you begged me for it.”

Needless to say she blew off her friend and ended up back at his dingy apartment, her moans so loud they got the cops called on them.

Twice.

Thinking back on it now it’s kind of funny that they have been dodging cops since they first started this up.

“What are you thinking about over there?”

He smiles, tightens one hand on her leg and the other on the wheel. “Just thinking about when we first met.”

“When we were ten?”

“No,” he snorts. “I mean when this Murphy met this Clarke. Because face it, sweetheart. You are nothing like you were in high school.”

Her scowl actually turns him on. How fucked up is that? “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Relax,” he laughs, even though his mother once told him you should absolutely for no reason whatsoever tell a woman to relax or calm down. “I just meant high school Clarke wouldn’t be caught dead with high school me.”

“That’s not true,” she says, her voice taking on this raspy tone that goes straight to his dick. His heart beats faster when she leans over to rest her lips on the shell of his ear. “High school Clarke thought about you a lot, actually.”

“Oh yeah?” he croaks out, his throat drying up and he’s so hard for her he wouldn’t be surprised if he pulls over and takes her right here on the highway. “What about when you were with Finn?”

“Mhm.” She bites at his earlobe, sending shock waves through his body so intense he’s afraid they might crash.

“Lexa?”

“Yep.”

“Bellamy?”

She stiffens and he wants to kick his own ass for bringing him up. “We aren’t going to talk about him, remember.”

“Sorry, babe,” he says sincerely because he is. Bringing up the guy she almost married straight out of high school wasn’t his brightest idea but fuck if he can think straight when his dick is hard.  

He remembers their breakup their freshman year of college. Everyone though they’d end up together, married at twenty, first kid by twenty two. Mansion in the hills, two point five kids and a Golden Retriever. They were set in stone.

Until they weren’t.

Murphy didn’t go to college due to the fact that he had zero dollars to his name and did fuck all in high school. Instead he got a job right after graduation, and the fact that he graduated at all was enough to make his entire family proud. Or what little family he has left. He does remember the very public breakup since it happened at the restaurant he moonlighted as a bartender at to make some extra cash.

Bellamy gave Clarke a ring. Clarke said no. Bellamy stormed out.

It was a lot more dramatic than that but you get the gist.

“Can I just ask you one thing?”

He’s treading carefully because this is a subject they haven’t gotten into yet. She might shut him the fuck down but he’s at least going to try.

“You want to know why I said no.”

It’s not a question, just a solemn statement and that’s what he loves about this girl. She fucking knows him without him having to say a word.

“Yeah.”

Clarke sighs, her hand still making waves out the window but now he thinks she probably doesn’t even realize that she’s doing it. “My life has been planned for me since I was a little girl. Go to an Ivy League, become a doctor. Marry someone with my pedigree and have the perfect life that my parents have always wanted for me. But I didn’t want that, Murphy. I didn’t want to be some dumb girl that just lived her life the way everyone else wanted her to.”

He motions to the duffle bag resting on the floorboards. “And that’s going to help, right?”

“Yes,” she says seriously. “I want to be with you and yes, I’m sure there was another way than stealing millions of dollars from the Blake’s but this is how it had to be. Bellamy’s family is loaded, almost as much as mine. They won’t even miss it and you and I can get away. It’s better this way.”

There have been a lot of moments over the last few weeks when he thought that she would either bail or dime him out the first chance she got but damn if she proved him wrong.

The plan was simple, steal some cash from her ex’s family and leave town. The Blake’s are practically San Diego royalty, Bellamy Blake being the eldest son and a future Leader of America. Primed since birth to take over his mother’s real estate empire. Millions of cash sitting in barely locked safes, easy pickings for a criminal like him.

Clarke came up with the plan since she was still close with Bellamy’s younger sister Octavia. The Blake’s are vacationing in Belize, the house empty over the weekend since they require no staff when the family is out of the country. Clarke knew how to get in without setting off alarms, had the code to the safe hiding in the library and knew exactly how much to steal without anyone noticing for awhile.

They broke in wearing black clothes and baseball caps, her long blonde hair wrapped up and tucked in just in case any security footage caught them sneaking in and out of the house. The job took less than ten minutes, no alarms went off and they hauled ass to his car that they had parked a few streets down.

All they have to do is dump the Trans AM, no great loss there, in Arizona just in case any neighbors happened to be looking out the window when they drove away with a cool two mil in their car on the way out. He has a buddy in Texas that said he’d put them up for awhile until they figured out where they wanted to go.

It was fool proof and it worked like a charm.

What could possibly go wrong?

***

“If I eat anymore, you’re going to have to roll me out of here.”

­Murphy chuckles as he wipes his face with his napkin and throws it down on the table. “There might not be a jukebox on the table but at least you got your vinyl seats.”

She blows him a kiss before sucking on her milkshake straw and damn he can’t wait to get her in a hotel room tonight.

“Can you order us some extra food to go? I’m gonna go take a leak.”

Clarke scrunches up her nose in disgust and he smirks, drops a kiss to her temple as he’s passing her on the way to the restroom.

An old plasma television set is bolted in a corner of the kitchen, set to some local news channel, and he doesn’t pay attention to it until he hears a familiar name.

“Breaking news out of San Diego, CA. Aurora Blake, real estate mogul, has just filed a police report stating that over 2 million dollars was taken from a safe in her home today. The Blakes are currently on vacation out of the country but have understandably cut their vacation short in order to help police with their investigation. The only known suspects at this time are two individuals that broke into the Blake residence around 8 pm on Saturday night. The suspects were caught on the Blake’s security cameras but because their faces are not shown, it might prove impossible to use these videos to find them.”

Murphy’s heart drops, his eyes darting across the grainy photograph of him and Clarke sneaking through the Blake mansion, their faces completely hidden by the bills of their baseball caps.

He hurries over to where Clarke is talking to the waitress, drops three twenties on the table before pulling her up by her arm.

“Baby, we gotta go. Now.”

[mithoen]

U L T I M A T E HATOFUL AGESWAP AU

MYSELF AND @sproson-ya CAME UP WITH A BUNCH OF IDEAS FOR LIKE. AN AGESWAP AU KIND OF THING?? ITS NOT ALL EXACT SWAPS IT’S JUST FOR FUN THO

Nageki the school librarian who’s still very sick but a determined big bro to all his brothers and sisters

when he lived in the orphanage with the other kids he was always trying his best to look after them all but his weak health made it hard for him to do much so all his siblings had to work hard to make up for it and he felt Terrible about it

he’s always sending as much money as he can spare to the orphanage now that he’s working and in much better heath due to the st pigeonations medicine developed for him

Hitori, Nageki’s younger brother who moved out of the orphanage with Nageki despite the dove’s protests, eager to protect his elder bro

in the second year!!

was always the one who worried the most over nageki so being seperate from the other is like. ???? how?? could he even do that??? is there a universe that exists in which he and nageki aren’t together?????

very kind and sweet tho not afraid to Fight for the people he cares about

lives together with nageki in a small but homely apartment near to the school

is still worried often about nageki’s health, especially whenever he sees nageki even show any signs of being ill

Kazuaki who has been best friends with Hitori since before the two could even remember

in second year with hitori and in the same homeroom as him

has a very kind and supportive family and has had a cushy life, causing him to be a bit of a weakling in terms of personality

met hitori in nursery where the two became fast friends

hitori’s always had to protect kazuaki from bullies, due to how easily kazoo cries

lived closer to hitori when the other quail’s home was the orphanage, though kazuaki’s parents trust the two of them enough to let kazoo make the journey to nageki’s apartment by himself

he cries every time he has to do it, of course.

treats nageki and hitori’s apartment as a second home, which neither brother minds that much

when they started attending st. pigeonations hitori and kazoo actually began dating in secret, mainly out of fear of backlash from other students

kazoo is more worried about it than hitori, but they agreed to hide it in case kazoo ends up being bullied anymore than he already does

nageki, of course, figured it out ages ago that they liked each other but he hasn’t said anything out of respect for hitori’s privacy - his brother will tell nageki when he’s ready

Sakuya the world renowned pianist who teaches music at st. pigeonations

he’s well liked by the kids for his patient nature and strict but fair way of teaching, is always very proud of the students he teaches

left the le bel family when he was young to become a musician, as encouraged by his elder brother. he’s never looked back.

Hiyoko!! The gym teacher!! She’s extremely enthusiastic about getting all these birdies fit, what with being the only human

pushes every student to do their best but would never make them overwork - being healthy is best!!

Very Proud of all of them as well, cries tears of joy when they win in any athletic competition, also cries when they don’t win simply because they put their all into every match

RYOUTA THE SCHOOL DOCTOR WHO DECIDED TO DEDICATE HIS LIFE TO MEDICINE AFTER HIS WIFE’S DEATH

he had a kid with her though after she died ryouta’s not gotten on very well with said kid. ryouta understands how hard it is on his son tho and he doesn’t want other children to feel the pain of losing a parent, which is why he works so hard

RYUUJI’S HIS KID, OBVIOUSLY

ryuuji the 3rd year who leads a gang of 3 (including himself) misfit children

he doesn’t get along very well with ryouta, not after his mum died - its mainly ryuuji’s own fault for distancing himself from his father, blaming ryouta for not being able to save mrs. kawara

Okosan the birdolympics champion, who’s won Multiple gold medals in track

good friends with hiyoko?? somehow??? she calls in favours from him to cover P.E. lessons sometimes when she’s too injured from fighting the wildlife (ofc she still lives in a cave)

pe lessons with okosan are always. very strange. there’s often a lot of running. and bean throwing. student opinion is mixed.

ANGHEL THE VE R Y GOOD AND ALSO VERY PASSIONATE ART TEACHER

still talks like a chuunibyou o b v i o u s l y

students are never quite sure of what he’s talking about?? tho he’s always very pleased with their art no matter what they draw, whether or not it’s what he was trying to teach them so lessons with him are actually p/chill

there’s a select few people who can decipher his language - hiyoko, ryouta, nageki and the students in his manga club, the club in question being less of a friendly after-school gathering and more of a... cult.

Souma the sharp tongued, short kid with literally the worst personality ever (also yes i know his name would be something else, but like. souma’s cuter sh u s h)

is in second year with hitori and kazuaki but he’s actually been moved up a year

he’s very much a smartass and a huge dick about that all the time

the second member of ryuuji’s mischief gang, often the instigator for any of the nastier pranks the three of them pull

included but not limited to: buckets filled with paint above doors, creating various gas bombs and throwing them into classrooms, leaving sharp objects lying around in conspicuous places, etc

his parents aren’t dead in this AU, meaning a lot of his cruel personality is shaped from their abuse towards him

they put a lot of pressure on him to succeed in school and neglect him at home, which is why hes so smart and also acting out so badly

no dead parents mean no explosions, tho!! so he’s not colourblind here, nor is he partially paralysed on his right sight

this means he’s a lot more physically fit and often gets into some p/brutal fist fights with others students - most of the time he’s found fighting hitori, due to souma bullying kazuaki all the time

is Not afraid to bring a knife to a fist fight

highkey has a crush on dr. kawara. this causes issues between him and ryuuji sometimes, who Does Not Appreciate the thought of his best friend (???) liking his estranged dad romantically

(it’ll never go anywhere tho, it’s a purely appearance-attracted based crush)

Tohri!! he is, of course, beautiful and majestic

in second year with hitori, kazuaki and souma

the third and final member of the mischief trio, he is the group’s morality pet, often having to shut down ryuuji and souma where their pranks get too dangerous - he’s the nicest of the lot, basically

this is especially in souma’s case - the two often argue over what constitutes a ‘safe’ prank

souma is nearly always in the wrong.

used to be better friends with ryuuji until souma joined the school and was immediately moved up to second year, spurning ryuuji to take more of an interest in the partridge

a big fan of anghel’s work and one of the more prominent members of the manga club, he’s probably one of the few who can understand the luzon the best

frequently shuts down any and all pranks towards the art teacher due to this, no matter how harmless they might be

gets along pretty well with hitori and kazuaki - the trio isn’t exactly on the best of terms with the quails due to souma and ryuuji teasing kazoo constantly, but tohri’s the least problematic of the three so sometimes they hang out together

Yuuya, st. pigeonations charming, flirtatious headmaster

was the one who convinced his younger brother sakuya to leave the le bel family and pursue his own happiness, the fantail eventually ending up working under yuuya as a music teacher

flirts with. the Entire staff. literally the entire staff im not joking

has a Better relationship with sakuya here though the two still banter a lot, especially in school

sakuya hates his aloof attitude towards being headmaster but yuuya’s popular with both the staff and students so evidently he’s doing Something right

he often disrupts sakuya’s music lessons to talk to his brother and entertain the students and sakuya is So Done with his shit

sakuya cursing yuuya out in french when he gets Very annoyed and the students picking up the bad words and spreading them around school

sakuya is horrified but yuuya thinks it’s hilarious and none of them actually know what they’re saying so it’s fi n e

it’s the mischief trio’s aim to try and break into the headmaster’s office and wreck it before ryuuji graduates, but yuuya’s Aware of their shit

he loves their more harmless pranks but knows how dangerous they can be, so he plays along - to an extent

so far they’ve tried to blow up his door, break the lock and climb in through a window, among other things, but yuuya’s always intercepted them somehow

souma’s highkey annoyed this?? irritatingly charismatic headmaster??? is somehow outsmarting him????

yuuya’s also got a close relationship to a 3rd year boy called leone who has a p/bad family life

he’s offered to adopt the kid multiple times but leone’s always turned him down, though he appriciates yuuya’s concern

tHAT’S ALL FOR NOW FEEL FREE TO ADD YOUR OWN GU Y S :’D

[problematicc-favs]

i win; connor murphy x reader

request: hii I want Connor x reader and ummm its have passed years from his suicide and she is getting married to Evan and she just outside remembering the times that they were together(Connor and reader)looking photos and this things (kinda based on lea Michele's song hey you) thank u so much!

OH BOY OH BOY THIS IS ANGST TO THE EXTREMO MY DUDES. LIKE IM SHOOK, I CAN’T TELL IF I LOVE IT OR HATE IT. ANGST!!!

I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE FEEDBACK ON THIS ONE, DO WE LIKE OR NO

word count; 1322

TWs; grieving, past suicide, mention of attempted suicide, ANGST ANGST ANGST JESUS, cursing obviously, very connor-centric with bits of evan

Six years ago you realized you had a crush on Connor Murphy.

Six years ago you kissed him.

Five years ago you were madly in love with him.

Five years ago you had a future with him.

Four years ago you were both happier than you had ever been before.

Four years ago you got into a fight.

Four years ago he left.

Four years ago he never came back.

Four years ago you lost the love of your life.

Four years ago he killed himself.

Three years ago Evan kissed you,

Two years ago you told him you loved him.

A year ago you were closer to being okay.

Today you were getting married.

 It had been a long time. A long time since you really let yourself remember everything... but today seemed like the day.

So, you stood outside, draped in a white dress which was supposed to be worn on the day you married the love of your life.

It’s not that you didn’t love Evan. You did, with all your heart, but you still missed /him/.

You looked up at the sky, already feeling tears brimming behind your eyes.

“I..I’m okay, Con. I’m trying. I’m really trying to be happy. I know that’s what you would’ve wanted.” You mumbled shakily. “S-So much has happened since you left. I.. I don’t know where to start. I wish you were here.. I miss you so fucking much.” You stared down at the ground. He used to hold you so tightly. He wasn’t the best at dealing with emotions, but he tried for you. He couldn’t say much to help, but he would pepper little kisses on your cheeks and your neck. You would always giggle through your tears. Sometimes he would start singing to you. At one point he even memorized your favorite song just so he could sing it. His voice was so calming.

“I hope you’re okay, too. I-I think you are.” You gulped, trying to hold yourself together.

You swear you could see him sometimes. Swear you could feel him wipe your tears when you woke up in the middle of the night, sobbing.

You never did that when Connor was with you. You were never scared when he was there. After he left, you were scared again. Scared of the dark. Scared of everyone and everything. Evan had to learn to deal with that soon after you two had started dating. He knew he could never replace Connor, but he was trying. Maybe that’s why you loved him.

 But other times, when you were happy, you could hear Connor laughing when you made a stupid joke. He always loved your stupid puns.

One time you had dragged him to the grocery store with you, and were scream-singing Rent while walking through the aisles. He told you he was ‘losing patience’ and you looked at him and deadpanned back ‘well maybe it’s because you’re a bad doctor’. It was one of your worst puns, but he completely lost it. He had tried his hardest to hold back a laugh, but ended up failing. He would fondly recall that event when you were both drunk later.

“O-Oh! You know, when I was cleaning out my closet I found that grey hoodie you used to wear. It was underneath a ton of stuff. I have no clue how it got there, but I-I wear it sometimes now. It still smells like you.” You said hoarsely.

You two had spent an entire day trying to find that god damn hoodie, to no avail. You practically tore up your house, as well as his, in the process. It was fun, though. You two would get into playful arguments about which one of you lost the hoodie. Looking back, it was probably you. You would steal it sometimes because it was cuddly and warm, and you had probably thrown it into your closet on accident one day. By the end of the night you were both so exhausted you passed out cuddled up in your living room. It was the best you had slept in months[AS1] .

“W-When I saw it, it made me think of that Radio Head song you loved. I know I always hated that song, but I’ve grown to like it. You’re right. It’s catchy.” You didn’t know if you could keep going. The tears streaming down your face blurred your vision. Thank god you hadn’t put any makeup on yet.

“Evan.. Evan is great. He.. um.. sometimes he’ll remind me of you a little bit. Like.. when he laughs sometimes it reminds me of when you were happy. I-I know you’d probably make a joke about how creepy that sounds, but hey, oh well.”

You took a second to breath before continuing.

“I love him, Con. He’s so sweet. He’ll never be you, but he’s helped me a lot.”

Your fingers toyed with the lace of your dress anxiously.

“I wish I could’ve helped you.” You knew you would never be able to stop the guilt that haunted you. You should’ve tried harder. Should’ve done something.

It was hard. In the days leading up to it, you two had been on edge. He was acting so defensive, so strange. You should have known something was wrong, but you were too angry that he wouldn’t talk to you.

“Was there anything I could have done?”

The morning before you lost him, he had stormed out on you while you were yelling about the fact that he couldn’t just be a dick and not tell you what was wrong. You wanted to run after him, but your pride got the best of you. You sobbed that whole afternoon.

When you got the call from his parents..

 Connor was your everything. You couldn’t deal. You.. you had tried to.. You had gotten so close to ending it yourself. You couldn’t imagine a world without him. But something stopped you. Maybe it was anger at the time. Anger that he didn’t just talk to you. Anger that he left you here alone. Anger that he had ruined your future. Anger about how selfish he was.

“I’m not angry anymore.”

You weren’t. You understood now.. or at least you tried to. You had spent years searching for a reason, searching for the exact moment it all went wrong. Truth was, you were clueless. “You’re free now—you’d probably say that’s cheesy..” You chuckled sadly. “But it’s true. I-I forgive you, Connor.” You had never said it out loud.. hell, you weren’t sure you had really forgiven him until this moment.. but you had now.

‘Take pride in what is sure to die’

He had said that to you once. It was a quote from a song you had both loved. It applied now more than ever.

For a long time you had wanted to erase him. You wanted to destroy all your memories with him, but you couldn’t. He would want you to remember him. He wouldn’t have wanted to disappear into thin air.

“I know we weren’t in a good place before you left. And I’ll never live down the fact that you died with my last words to you being so.. angry. I’ll never be able to change that. But I need you to know I love you. I love you more than anything, and I never stopped and I never will. You were my soulmate, Connor Murphy. And I love you so fucking much, and I miss you every single day.”

You knew if he were here now he’d be trying to hide his smile. He’d raise his eyebrows at you and quip back ‘I love you more, y/n’.

You almost never beat him at that game. He loved to have the last word. He would keep going until you had to give up. Not this time.

“Oh and by the way, Murphy. I love you more. I win.”