#and maybe is trying to distance herself from the mortal she used to be

[writing-for-life]

Dream’s Therapist

Parents

The session notes get longer and longer, so I decide to go over all of them again to decide on today’s topic of conversation.

Intake

Insomnia

Nightmares

Emotions

The client is on time (well, 35 minutes early, but my receptionist tells me he brought a book; she is certain it is “Le Mythe de Sisyphe” by Camus, and he reads it in French). When he comes into my office, he wears a black… robe? despite it being 25 degrees Celsius. Surprisingly, he takes it off though and hangs it on my coatrack. There is still no smalltalk, although he asks, very politely, if I could open the blinds a bit more since today, the room is too dark for his liking.

DT: I’d like to talk about your family today. How do you relate to them? (I notice immediate signs of stress and he looks at my paperweight) Take it, it’s fine.

Dream (He takes the paperweight and begins to fiddle with it, turning it over and over and over again): My family is like… a cosmic jigsaw. We should fit together perfectly, and I reckon we do. In theory. From a distance. To all you mortals. But you should never, ever look too closely.

DT: And why is that? What about your parents?

Dream (Silence ensues. It lasts for 9 minutes. I contemplate several times whether to cut it short but decide to let him sit with his thoughts until he is ready): They like to play a game of charade, I suppose. If we communicate at all, it is in cryptic symbols and metaphors….

DT: You like communicating like that, too, don’t you?

Dream (I notice a glare, quickly followed by a violent shake of his head): My father once gave me an hourglass with a note that read, “Your move.” I still have no idea what he was trying to tell me.

DT: Did you ever ask?

Dream (I notice the familiar eye-roll): No.

DT: Why not?

Dream: You would not understand.

DT: Try me.

(Another bout of silence ensues. This time, it lasts 10 minutes, and I decide to finally intervene—he’s not getting a lot of bang for his buck this way. I notice a moment too late I shouldn’t use the word ‘bang’ when relating to my clients, not even in my mind).

Maybe just explain to me what your parents are like.

Dream (I notice a slightly annoyed exhale through his nose): My father has a particular (he frantically turns the paperweight in his hands) …watch that is a source of contention, and he insists on synchronised cosmic events. Well, not really synchronised as you would define it I suppose but… (he shakes his head again). No matter. My mother has a thing for unravelling galaxies and the ensuing chaos. They are not a great match by any means.

DT: Doesn’t sound like it. Are they still together?

Dream: No. They have not been for a very long time.

DT (Divorced parents. It makes sense): And how did that influence your upbringing?

Dream (He laughs. It sounds… I have no clue what to think and try not to show it on my face. He truly sounds like someone who has forgotten how to laugh. I actually feel sorry for him. I remind myself not to show that on my face either): My father is Time, my mother is Night. Do you expect me to relate to them as my role models?

DT: (I notice bitterness that most certainly covers up some hurt and wonder if he tries to be metaphorical, or if he is diving down into the depths of his delusion again): Do you? Or did you at any point?

Dream (He leans back in his chair and spins the paperweight on his index finger. It keeps on spinning. I’m confused): How could I possibly relate to someone who prunes roses before they are fully in bloom and never even smells them? Or someone who permanently entertains herself with moonlight cocktails and star-shaped canapés? My parents are… unrelatable and exhausting.

DT: And is exhaustion all they make you feel?

Dream (The paperweight stops spinning, and the silence lasts for 6 minutes this time): No, they make me feel conflicted. (He didn’t say he doesn’t feel. Good.) My father… might have taught me something about duty and the weight of eternity. But I suppose I might have preferred warmth (he starts fidgeting with the paperweight again and briefly looks at me) over cosmic-level indifference.

DT (I am surprised at the sudden willingness to share his emotional landscape. I still don’t show it on my face. I hope): And your mother?

Dream (I notice a hard swallow before he gazes out the window. His voice is very quiet): My mother paints the skies with stars. But those… nights are lonely. She revels in the beauty of darkness and starlight but never touches the hearts of her children. She never dreams of us (His voice turns quieter still). Or of me.

DT: You don’t know that.

Dream (He looks at me again): Trust me, I do. Perhaps you should remember who and what I am?

DT (I decide to tread carefully): Yes, you told me you are the embodiment of imagination, dreams and nightmares.

Dream: Correct. And I know she doesn’t dream of me.

DT (That delusion is stubborn. As they are): If your parents never gave you what you needed, did you ever try to seek comfort or solace elsewhere?

Dream (I notice he holds on to the paperweight so tightly that his knuckles turn white. Even whiter than they are): For as long as I remember I longed for nothing more than just a fleeting touch transcending cosmic duty. (He looks at me through his lashes before he focuses on the paperweight again) Make of that what you will.

DT (I wonder what’s gotten into him today. The sudden openness is confusing. Not that I’m complaining): I don’t make anything out of anything. Let’s stay with those desires. (I notice he flinches) What do you truly want?

Dream: I… feel adrift. (He seems to think for a moment): Sometimes I envy you humans (Okay, I can work with the delusion). Your families argue about burnt toast and forgotten anniversaries. My family argues about the curvature of spacetime and the existential implications of your socks disappearing in your laundry. You have no idea how these things affect… (He stops himself) Never mind. You have simpler families—Sunday dinners, awkward Thanksgiving conversations, and no cosmic-level crisis before dessert.

DT (I decide to play): I think you might underestimate the crisis potential of our dinners.

Dream: Do I? (He actually smiles.)

DT: Yes. But let’s stop changing the subject (I notice he looks slightly embarrassed, which is surprising) and get back to your wants. If you had to choose one thing you really wanted right now, what would that be?

Dream (His voice is very quiet again): To escape the endless cycle. But my duty binds me.

DT (That took the wrong direction and definitely requires reframing. Change of tack): It seems to me that you think of yourself as a silent observer at times. Or as being responsible for other people and their dreams. At least that’s what I’m gathering, correct me if I’m wrong. (He just looks at me but doesn’t say anything) What if you dared to dream yourself?

Dream (I notice the deep frown on his face before he puts the paperweight back on my desk): It is not possible to dream beyond one’s destiny. And mine is not to dream.

DT: What if that weren’t true?

Dream (Silence again. Quite brief this time): That seems… like a tome bound in too many shadows.

DT: Did you ever notice you relate to yourself as if you were (I’m fishing for the right words here) a book, written by someone else?

Dream (I notice he shuffles uncomfortably in his seat): That would be assuming I had a story of my own, which I do not.

DT: And why would you believe that?

Dream (I notice he taps his foot. Six times): I trust our time is up?

DT: No, although we’re getting closer.

Dream: Good, I shall leave then. (He makes a move to get up)

DT: I’ve got homework for you.

Dream (I notice the eye-roll, but he actually stays seated): The infernal diary again?

DT: No. I’d just like you to reflect on a thought.

Dream (I notice the raised eyebrow): And what thought would that be?

DT: If it is truly paradoxical to allow yourself to dream while thinking you are responsible for other people’s dreams.

Dream: The former seems… highly improbable.

DT: Are you going to think about it though?

Dream (He gets up and looks around the room for a moment before his eyes finally connect with mine again): I shall, despite the very apparent futility of your… experiment.

DT: I don’t experiment with people’s thoughts or feelings. I just encourage them to step back and have a closer look at them.

Dream: I shall try to… forgive me: I will trust your expertise on the matter.

DT (I notice he actually has internalised our last session. At least to a degree): The delusional one?

Dream (I notice he really wants to suppress a smile, but it’s not working): No, the real one.

DT: Same time next week then?

Dream: Yes. And you may still use ink in your diary. For however long you deem necessary…

< Previous Session

[autisticlancemcclain]

“Jesus – fuck!” Keith yanks down on the yoke with all his might, making their little pod rear back, missing the gigantic asteroid by mere inches. He watches with wide eyes as the asteroid continues rocketing by, acutely aware that he nearly smashed the pod in everyone in it.

There’s a tense, speechless silence in the pod for a moment, everyone aware of how close they were to becoming Actual Space Debris, before Romelle speaks up.

Because of course it was Romelle.

“Maybe focus on keeping us not dead and daydream about gay reunions later,” she says drily, and Keith bites back a scathing response, because he realises he has absolutely no leg to stand on, there.

“My bad,” he says instead. Romelle rolls her eyes fondly before decking him lightly on the shoulder.

Well, it would be lightly, were she not an Altean. But she is, and Keith has to tense every muscle in his body to keep from crying out in agony like a loser.

“Wait, no, not your bad,” Krolia says.

Romelle blinks at her. “Okay, I get he’s your son and all, but it very much was his bad.”

“No, I got a signal for a second!”

Keith whips around, staring at his mother with wide eyes. “You got signal? Seriously?”

“Yes! I think it was the magnetic flare from the asteroid! Get close to it again, I might be able to hold the signal long enough to broadcast!”

Keith does not waste a moment. He turns the pod around at lightning speed, pushing it as fast as it will go to catch up to the asteroid, carefully avoiding its surrounding debris, which is a lot harder than it looks, and causes a significant amount of turbulence. Which, of course, sets Kosmo off, howling at the windows and scratching at anything he can reach, on top of the deafening grinding sound of surrounding space rocks smashing into each other at high speeds, and the crackling of the comms they are desperately trying to make work.

“Anything?” Keith yells over the chaotic noise of Every Sound At Once.

“Yes! The signal is getting stronger! Once I can get it to connect, it should maintain itself, so keep close just a little longer!”

Keith grits his teeth, wrapping both hands around the yoke and ignoring the voice in his head – that sounds suspiciously like Lance – that makes a dirty joke about the position. He just focuses as hard as he can, trying to keep as close to the asteroid as he can without smashing the ship into it or getting smashed by all the debris travelling at several hundred miles an hour.

“Closer!” Krolia shouts.

Keith resists the urge to tell her that he’s closer to the asteroid right now than he’s ever been to any parental figure in his life, because that would be uncalled for and also rude and he is a Mature Adult, now.

He nudges them the slightest smidge closer, praying to the universe at large that the thrusters don’t give out, and finally Krolia shouts in success.

“I got it! I got Voltron! Pull back!”

With great relief, Keith does, putting as much distance between them and immediate mortal peril as he can. Once the asteroid is far enough away that Keith no longer feels his heart attempting to pound clean through his chest, he slumps over the controls, repeatedly reminding himself that this is, at the very least, better than the goddamn motherfucking bitch-ass space rift.

(Which is, honestly, a very low bar. Contracting E. coli from getting a swirly would be better than the space rift. But still. Small victories, et cetera, et cetera.)

“Um, hi?” comes a voice Keith hasn’t heard in two fucking years, and he almost cries in relief.

Well, not almost. There are tears streaming down his face. But he feels he’s pretty justified, so it’s whatever.

“Pidge!” he calls, ditching the pilot’s seat and fully running over to where Krolia sits, radio holoscreen up and working.

His old teammate gapes at him. “Keith?!”

Keith grins, soft and happy. “Hey, man. I missed you.”

She stares at him in silence, for several minutes. Keith lets her gather herself, even though the silence is getting real awkward real fast.

“Why do you look jacked as hell?” is what Pidge decides on, and God, it’s been so long since he’s heard a dumbass remark that’s definitely a poorly disguised roast, somehow. It feels like home.

“Because I am jacked as hell. I spent two years in Actual Hell –”

Romelle glares at him. “Quit talking shit about my actual place of residence –”

“Your place of residence imprisoned me for two fucking years I will talk all the shit I want –”

“I can beat you up, Kogane, try me –”

“I can handle a beating and still run my mouth, M’lyoy, so I will try you –”

“Children!” Krolia barks, and they both snap their mouths shut so hard there’s an audible click. “We have desperate, time-sensitive information. You have been bickering for three straight days. Can it, or so help me, I will turn this ship around.

“Goddamn, Kogane,” Pidge says after a moment, “someone just got told off. What, did you fuck off and find your mother or something?”

Keith blinks. “Yeah. How’d you know that?”

“How did I know that – I was joking, dude, fuck! Is that actually your mother?”

“I am,” Krolia says. “You must be Pidge. The short one who cusses often.”

Keith freezes. “Ma,” he hisses, “why would you tell her I said that?”

“Three straight days,” she deadpans, completely uncaring.

Pidge glares at him. “I’ll admit I missed you, you bitch, but please know that you are so, so fucking lucky you are not within bayard distance.”

“Noted,” Keith says weakly.

“I can smack him for you, if you like,” Romelle offers, not even attempting to hide a smirk.

“Thank you, strange Altean, whose existence baffles me beyond comprehension,” Pidge says.

Romelle attempts to do as promised, but Keith jerks out of the way at the last second, and then scrambles over to Krolia’s other side to avoid any further assault.

“Coward,” she and Pidge say at the same time.

Man, having little sisters is annoying. Almost as annoying as having an older brother. Keith wishes he was back to being an only child.

(Not really.)

“Can we please get back on task,” Keith says, which is hilarious coming from him, but whatever.

“Right,” Pidge says, face turning serious. “What the hell is going on?”

“First of all, where’s everyone else?”

“Doing other shit,” Pidge says, “I’m on monitoring duty. Coran and Hunk are reworking the control panel for the accelerators, Shiro’s meditating, Allura and Lotor are on their Oriande mission, and Lance is – actually, I have no idea what Lance is doing, but he’s on the castle somewhere. Probably.”

At the mention of Lotor, everyone’s face goes ashen, playful atmosphere completely dissipating.

“Fuck,” Keith says.

Pidge, ever the problem-solver, looks resigned. “It’s Lotor, isn’t it,” she says, and it’s not really a question.

“Yes,” Romelle agrees softly. “He’s a monster. He’s using my people as batteries, to drain our quintessence, to rule worse than his father ever did.”

“And we’ve just led him by the hand to the one place that will make him unstoppable,” Pidge summarizes, looking absolutely miserable.

“Unfortunately.”

“I don’t suppose you have a plan?”

“We don’t…not have a plan,” Keith says. “We’ll have the element of surprise, so long as we get back to the castle before he does, and that’s got to count for something. We’ll send you our coords, and we’ll try to meet as quickly as possible? It might be easier to plan with the whole team present.”

“Sounds good,” Pidge says, immediately pulling up a few dozen screens and schematics. Krolia quickly types something on her keypad, and Keith watches as it pings over to Pidge. “Oh, hey, we’re actually not that far away. Maybe a couple hours, if we gun it towards you? And Allura – God, I hope she’s okay – won’t be back until the end of the day, so that timing works out. I’ll tell Coran we need to get moving and fast.”

“Thank you, Pidge,” Krolia says.

“No problem, Ms. Keith’s Hot Mom.”

Keith sighs. Romelle giggles. Krolia looks amused.

“I forgot how annoying you are,” he mutters. He doesn’t need to look to know Pidge is sticking her tongue out at him, but looks anyway, just to prove himself right.

“Well, I look forward to reminding you, booger-brain.”

Keith opens his mouth with the full intention of calling her a roach-face, but then remembers that he is a Mature Adult, and decides he will instead graffitti it on her workspace as soon as he gets back, like a real man.

“Bye, Pidge,” he says, and reaches forward to swipe through the holoscreen.

“Hey, wait! Don’t hang up yet!”

Keith pauses, looking at her expectantly. “Yeah?”

The playful, teasing expression that came back for a moment when they were arguing has melted from her face, and she looks serious again. Nervous, even. “Um, something… happened, while you were gone,” she starts, and Keith immediately jumps to the worst possible conclusion.

“What happened to Lance? Is he okay? Is he hurt?” he asks in a panic.

“He is not dead and also not injured or maimed or anything,” Pidge says, which is very different to ‘why, of course not, Keith, Lance is safe and happy and healthy’.

“Spit it out, Pidge,” he orders in his Patented Black Paladin Voice.

“I can’t really explain it. I’m just gonna – I’m gonna send you a link, and you’re going to watch the whole thing and not tell Lance I sent it to you, okay?”

Keith swallows roughly. “Just tell me what happened, Pidge.”

“Okay, Keith?” she repeats, and Keith knows he’s not going to get anything else out of her.

“Okay. Fine. Send it to me.”

“It’s sent,” she says, just as a notification pops up on the receiver. “Um, you can hang up now. That’s all I had to say.”

Keith doesn’t even say goodbye. The only thing he can focus on is that receiver. In the background, he can vaguely hear Romelle and Krolia ending the call, but all his attention is on the little notification – a link, like Pidge said. He picks the receiver up carefully, and walks carefully over to his bunk in the back.

“I guess I’m driving!” Romelle says cheerily, trying to goad him into a playful argument (her… interesting piloting skills having been the subject of their bickering on numerous occasions) but Keith barely even hears her. He clicks on the link, space youtube quickly taking up the screen.

In hindsight, Keith wishes he’d waited to watch, waited for Krolia and Romelle to fall asleep, or even dug around for a pair of headphones, or something. Anything instead of playing what feels like a private message – even though this is clearly something that was broadcasted to the universe at large – to the pod at large.

Hindsight is 20/20.

Instead, he watches with wide, horrified eyes as he witnesses the direct result his leaving had on his best friend.

I'm sorry but I gotta go

That’s what he said to me, as he let me go, he left me alone

Keith recognises those words. He fucking – those are his words. The thing is – the thing is, that contrary to what he knows everyone else thinks, Keith didn’t leave for the Blades after a few days of private introspection.

He talked to Lance – to his right hand – about the issue for months. They made the decision together. Lance knew every feeling, every need running through Keith’s brain, and consequently, Keith knew every thoughtrunning through Lance’s.

[bp4545]

Him With Her (My Sunshine - Part 6)

Word count: 1.1k

Warnings: No warnings, just the reader being jealous to some extent, but she finds herself and heals.

Summary: As weeks go by it's hard seeing him with her, but being with your friends helps take the pain away...

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6.

---

Weeks go by and Draco and Hermione are still dating. They're the lovable and unexpected couple, I mean who would've thought that Draco would give up his reputation to fall in love with a muggleborn Gryffindor girl? More specifically the girl who was friends with his one mortal enemy Harry Potter.

It always broke your heart to admit it, but they seemed like the most perfect couple. They both gave up so much to be with each other and they made it work, it was what everyone admired about them. 

The relationship didn't stop you from being friends with Hermione of course. It wasn't her fault or anyone's fault for that matter. Only yours. For falling for the one boy you could never have.

She seemed to be happier than ever, and even though you were friends it pissed you off. 

It tore you. To hear about her 'oh so perfect' relationship, and her 'perfect life' with her 'perfect boyfriend'. It's like all her wishes were coming true. She had the most popular, charming boy in school wrapped around her finger, she had good grades, she was every teachers pet, and had the most wonderful circle of friends. She had everything you wished for when you came back to school this year.

What pissed you off more was how you didn't see it sooner. 

How when you talked about your late night meetings with Draco she would stay quiet. How she would avoid the topic of love altogether whenever you two talked about it. Why she barely hung out with you, Daphne and Hannah anymore; because she was out with him, late night rendezvous, just like how you used to.

And the fact that you thought you ever had a chance.

It isn't that hard to completely distance yourself from Draco. To be completely honest, it's easier to ignore him than to make an effort to talk to him.

Plus it would be unfair to Hermione, because you were sure that if you talked to him again, you would start catching feelings. 

And they seemed perfect for each other, you would hate to be the person to ruin it.

Or maybe you wouldn't

Oh how much it hurt to see him with her

---

"Y/N!" 

You can hear Hannah yell excitedly in the dorm room as she gets owled a letter.

"What? Oh my gosh what happened!" you said, matching her level of excitement.

"Zach just owled! Get ready right now we're having a hang out with the whole gang at the three broomsticks!! You know how long it's been since the five of us just hung out together?" 

Your eyes widened in excitement.

Hannah was right, it's been ages since the five of you, being Zach, Hannah, Justin, Chris, and yourself, have hung out altogether to chill. It was going to be great.

As you two make your way to the Three Broomsticks you enter to find everyone already there and waiting. Warm welcomes and hugs are shared, food is passed around and laughs are heard. Looks were exchanged, gossip was spread, the warmth was engulfing. It was like a Christmas dinner with your family, just the pure happiness of being together.

It was in this topic of discussion where 'crushes' came around.

"So Hannah, any luck with the guys?" Justin inquires. Hannah flushes red, looking anywhere but Zach.

"N-no, I haven't had a crush this year yet" she stammers and I nudge her and she smiles widely to hide the fact otherwise.

"What about you Zach?" I ask, trying to see if I can get absolutely anything out of them.

"Oh-uh, y'know same old same old... no one yet" he says, more composed than Hannah. The rest of you sigh in frustration. It was so obvious that they fancied each other, yet they couldn't see it themselves.

"Awh come on someone has got to have a crush" Chris says, clearly annoyed that no one has any exciting news to share anymore. "Justin?"

"Hmphh wha-" We all turn to him stuffing his face with food as he grins sheepishly. "What was the question?"

"Have a crush?" Chris says rolling his eyes but still amused.

"Oh. Yeah nah. The girls are all over me this year for some reason, but I don't take interest in any of them." Justin scoffs.

"Yeah right, speaking of crushes..." Chris started. We all turn to him eager to hear something interesting. "Did you guys hear about that fourth year girl who apparently had a crush on me?"

"Fucking hell she scares me" I chip in. Remembering that one obnoxious fourth year who wouldn't keep off Chris.

"Yeah, apparently she's got a thing for gingers, it bloody terrifies me. She had a fucking crush on Ron Weasley before me!" he says, reliving the horrid memories of her confession. 

We all burst into laughter, and I nudge Chris a little bit.

"What about that little crush on Astoria?" I smirk at him as he groans. Everyone continues laughing.

"C'mon y/n what about you. Surely you've had a crush by now." Hannah says.

"Guys, you know I've never had a crush before, most guys just suck" I laugh and everyone joins in, its hard to tell I'm lying right through my teeth.

The topic slowly shifts from crushes, and rather to the new couple at Hogwarts.

"Have you guys heard about Draco and Hermione?" Zach asks, as everyone slowly starts indulging conversations about the unexpected pair. "Who would've expected a muggleborn with the Slytherin prince?"

You slowly feel yourself getting uncomfortable with the topic, and Chris can tell.

"Y'know guys I think I'll be off to bed now but this was really great I missed it" You smile warmly and share goodbyes.

"Yeah me too guys" Chris chips in "Y/n I could walk you to your dorm?"

"Oh yeah, of course"

"I'll meet you two there!" Hannah yells before you leave the building with Chris. 

---

a/n: The next chapter is going to be short so don't expect to much, hopefully you guys enjoyed this chapter, I know that it didn't really include much about the reader being with Draco, but I'm trying to set the story up for what will happen next! Please be patient and follow for updates:) I might make a masterlist <3

[sentientcave]

It's WIP WEDNESDAY - Right Under The Wire

I have 2 minutes before this is an illegal post lmao

@mortuarywriting Posted a little bit of this so I'm gonna too! We have very disparate writing styles which I think will be really cool to mesh together for this project? I'm not sure how we will tackle it (Seperate parts? Writing chapters from the same outline and frankensteining them together? Heavy handed style edits until we're both happy? Who knows!) but I love their style so much and also their brain because they get credit for the worms that started all this.

We're still in the brainstorming and planning phase and just writing things that speak to us so far and it's super fun

Even in the dim light of the basement, just the one flickering oil lantern hanging from above, she was beautiful, radiant. Something otherworldly and untouchable, giving off faint light of her own, even without her halo. Her black hair was like the night sky, full of colour and motion, her skin emitted a soft golden glow, and her sharp golden eyes were piercing, although she struggled to see in the darkness, stuck as she was in her nearly human aspect.

She didn't look behind her when he entered-- she would spend hours staring at the lamp, sitting impossibly still, as though it were a scrap of the real sun.

"Hello, John," she said simply.

"Hello, starshine. Come to fill up the lantern. Are you hungry?"

"I don't need to eat." But she stood and moved to the furthest corner she could reach, with the shackle around her ankle, always keeping her distance, wings folded around herself protectively. "I'm not like you."

"Still. Thought you might like to try. There's plenty of mortal pleasures you've yet to experience. Mrs. Miller's strawberry rhubarb pie is one of 'em." He set the pie plate down on the table next to the lamp as he topped it up, watching her from the corner of his eye. He had her attention, at least. "Come on, starshine," he coaxed. "It's not a blood-let day. You don't have to worry about me hurting you."

"You always hurt me," she said. "I don't belong here."

"And where do you belong, hm?" He asked, knowing full well she wouldn't answer that. That she had no answer. She wouldn't speak of heaven, wouldn't admit her crime, but she had been cast out for something. She had nowhere to go.

She looked away from him, scowling, her cheeks glowing brighter.

As he thought.

"Come on now. Maybe you'll like it." He pulled the tea towel off the pie plate. It was still warm, golden brown pastry that smelled of butter and sweet fruit filling. Her nose twitched.

He could always tempt her close with human curiosities. Today was no different.

[livlepretre]

I adore FE, and while I was rereading the last chapters my mind just wondered: does Klaus regret (as much as he's able to) all the years he left Elena alone in the mansion, especially considering it just pushed her to Rebekah's arms? Like, he was "punishing" her and I don't think Klaus would have allowed her to get impregnated, considering how jealous and possessive he is. He was brooding about his ex lover, whom he sees as his, and then he learnes his sister "stole" her from him.

It just makes me so mad he was whoring around with Stefan and Rebekah while Elena was depressed and alone 😭 (tho I'm glad about how pathetic he is now with his feelings for her, serves him right)

So, Klaus will eventually choose to spill all of his ugly dark secrets and thoughts on all of this, but in the mean time: he is unwilling to regret that decision. Like, yes, there are all sorts of feelings Klaus is having, but he has decided that they are the worst possible feelings to have and he has decided not! to! have! them!

This is complicated by the fact that 3 years just isn't that much time for him. Like, Elena really broke his heart, because he sees it totally as she betrayed him when she daggered him, and he was pretty serious about needing to kill Tyler to forgive her, but also: he found out that everything he thought he knew about her was part of this elaborate deception. He completely lacks the awareness to understand how he forced her into it. He just sees that she played him totally false, and the woman he was in love with didn't actually exist. Reckoning with Elena herself after that-- after thinking he had fallen in love for the first time since he was mortal and then finding out it was not real from his perspective-- was not an option. He left, and he went on a bit of a bender, and maybe in a few more years he would have come back to Elena to hear her side of the story, but he definitely wasn't ready for it yet. Like, imagine someone gets into a terrible soul-wrecking fight with their lover and then ghosts them for a few weeks. That's what this is from Klaus's pov. Literally the equivalent of just a few weeks. He's still so upset about it all. He's decided to swear Elena off as The Betrayer.

The thing with Rebekah is both a thorn in his side and a relief. A thorn, because he has feelings and attraction for Elena-- he really does respect her cunning and her intellect and thinks she is a useful and helpful ally-- but there is just a lot of left over/unresolved stuff that keeps sucking him under. So it stings every time Elena is like, but wait, I love your sister! But it's a relief, because it creates distance between him and Elena, and lets him regain his composure whenever he slips up and put some distance back between them.

It's obviously a huge balancing act.

He only accepts Rebekah as Elena's lover so long as they are both in his court. He ultimately views Elena as HIS, his most prized, most necessary possession. He tenuously okay with Rebekah romancing her, but really on his terms-- Elena has to remain human, and she has to remain wherever he wants to put her. That means either with him, or in isolation in a spot of his choosing (I'm not sure he would trust Rebekah alone with her-- he's right that she would just turn Elena if she were left totally unsupervised over a long enough period of time).

But I wouldn't call what he did with Stefan and Rebekah during the interlude as whoring around. More like depression sleeping around. Trying to return to how things were before so that he could take his mind off of the real issues. Coping mechanisms, used poorly.

[telnaga]

“But isn’t that what killing is, anyway?” Sedrana asked, as she slid a filet knife into the salmon’s gut. “Taking a soul? Eating it? Adding it to yours?”

Rabbit’s long ears twitched back, in somewhat discomforted thought. In a reading nook a short distance from the kitchen counter, she leaned forward in her chair. “I think that’s more of a philosophy than an agreed upon truth. But… go on.”

“This fish’s soul is gone.” She scooped out strings of organ tissue with gentle fingers, beholding them for a moment in her cupped hand before they went in the offal pot. “We took it. And it adds to us. Keeps us going.”

“Do you mean to say the body is the soul?”

“No!” the heavier butcher knife thwacked through the spinal cord, just behind the gills. The salmon jerked, but its eyes remained lifeless. Thin reddish liquid saturated the waxed wood counter. Sedrana, her hands coated in it, was unbothered. “That’s stupid. The soul is the difference between a dead fish and a live one. We take it when we kill it, not when we eat it.” The head and glassy eyes went into the pot. She wiped her hands on her ratty canvas apron, and brushed loose hair out of her face, tying it back more securely. “But it’s always something tangible, killing. Maybe not when you don’t notice it, like stepping on a bug. But the decision, or the - the -” she made a gesture with her hands, shaking clawed fingers in the air. “The action. It puts something in you. There’s a change, a feeling. Haven’t you felt that?”

Rabbit’s ears pinned back and she shifted uncomfortably, finally setting her book down. She had been researching the dragonborn, trying to understand the nature of it, of them, of the… soul eating. And she reflected, hesitantly, back on the few times she had taken a life. The dull thud of her blood, the sharpness in her mind. The sense of stepping outside herself to become, for a moment (or perhaps forever), something else. Capable of more. “I… maybe.”

“I think it’s natural. It’s intrinsic.” She opened the fish, its red insides raw and vulnerable, the spine scores in the flesh. “We’re just… I dunno. The only ones who can digest dragons. If that makes sense.”

“...It’s a theory.” Rabbit rested her hand on the open book, running soft fingers over the delicately inked visage of a dragon rampant. “Of course, dragons can do it too.”

“Right, the only mortals who can digest dragons.” Sedrana dug the bones out carefully with the thin knife, littering the wet counter with slender, near-transparent spikes. “Or whatever. Non-dragons.”

“But we are dragons.”

“See, that’s what I don’t get.” She shifted focus from the fish, motioning from herself to Rabbit with the knife. “Do we look like dragons? Do we act like them?”

A scene brought itself to Rabbit’s mind - glinting teeth, shining blood on dark flesh, and Sedrana’s shape dominant atop a mountainous, ruined corpse.

“We’re mortal,” Sedrana continued, collecting the bones into the bucket. “‘Dragon soul’, sure, I don’t know. Do we have to be them just because we can speak their language? And kill them?” She gazed into the bucket of bones, fins, and guts. “This is going to make a great stock.”

A moment of silence passed between them. A few bars of birdsong fluttered in from the open bottle-glass windows, mellow and lilting.

Sedrana raised her eyes, worried, to Rabbit, who had her hands crossed in her lap and her eyes on the book, though she was not reading it.

“Do you wish we were normal?” she said.

Rabbit had a very familiar sort of pause that Sedrana saw, same head tilt and all, whenever she was thinking faster than she could hear her own thoughts. “I… don’t spend much time wishing for unreachable things. But I don’t see much good in this.”

“Well, we’re protecting people. Who else if not us? And - and the thu’um!” she saw Rabbit’s ears perk slightly, and she smiled, bolstered. “All that power, just in our voices. Gods, you’ve seen what it can do - this whole war, just because -” she broke off with a giddy laugh.

“The thu’um is interesting,” Rabbit said, half listening. “It’s - it’s a language, and it’s magic. It’s truth.”

“It’s a bit like music, isn’t it?” Seeing Rabbit relax slightly, Sedrana was satisfied, and shot a look over at the blood-strewn counter. “Hey, come help me chop vegetables for this. You’re eating it too, you know.”

“Oh, I know,” Rabbit sighed, standing and straightening her skirts. “You’re just better at cleaning the fish.”

[lampmanliveblogs]

Ah, that’s not a terrifying image or anything.

After Gus is on edge and Hunter is sad for a bit, Hunter notices plant tendrils beginning to grab him. In the distance, he hears Gus yelping, and he runs over to find… this.

Willow stands here, surrounded by and tangled in her own plants, having snared Gus when he startled her.

Between this and the previous batch of posts, I got an ask that mentioned how Willow beginning to lose control over her magic is similar to how we saw Belos in season two lose control over his body and lash out violently. And you know what? With this image here, I can totally see the similarities. The glowing eyes and the vines acting similar to the tentacles Philip’s arms would morph into… perhaps not the greatest imagery for Hunter to encounter.

Even though she keeps telling herself ”I can do this! I can do this!” Willow quickly gives up on using her magic to gain control over her plants, instead ripping them apart with her bare hands. A subtle indication that she doesn’t believe her own words.

Before she knows it, she finds herself alone in the caverns, her friends consumed by the very same plants she would use to protect them. In some ways, that would be the ultimate failure for someone like Willow, who has very much been a protector of the group.

(maybe Willow’s magic is trying to protect Gus & Hunter by enclosing them in these cocoons? just a thought)

Meanwhile, back at Tiara Halls, The Collector is not taking ”Raine’s” warnings very seriously. An expected reaction, the baddest dude around before The Collector showed up got smeared on a  wall by The Collector. Good thing too, that guy was a jerk, I’m glad he’s gone. Isn’t that right, Raine?

(i swear, getting a screenshot where the collector didn’t look awkward never needed to be this difficult. as you can see, i gave up)

(i watched a few seconds further than this screenshot implies, I just wanted one where everyone was in frame)

Lore!

As it turns out, Titan magic can cancel out Collector magic, which is probably why our own Lord of the Fireflies was never able to get out of the divine time-out on his own. Secondly, it’s confirmed that The Collector’s ”predecessors” wiped out the Titans, just like I theorized earlier.

The Collectors have a very prominent space motif, with stars and moons and planets and whatnot. They’re from space (and remember, anything can happen in space!). They have this sort of… what’s the word I’m looking for… detached vibe, I guess. I mean, The Collector floats around because gravity doesn’t bother them, they seem unaware how their actions affect others, they don’t even understand the concept of food and what mortals can and cannot eat.

Titans on the other hand, appear as these massive, primordial life forms, whose corpses become islands. While The Collectors become upset when the mortals interfere with their work and will go as far as to wipe them out for it, King’s Dad’s body provides a home and magic power for countless mortal creatures. The Titans appear to be part of the bizarre ecology of the Boiling Seas planet. They put the ”mega” in ”megafauna.”

Even looking at their designs, the Collectors are humanoid (kinda) with these smooth, sleek designs. Meanwhile, the Titans are big, monstrous beasts, covered in fur and bone, with sharp teeth and horns. Collectors wander space, while the Titans are bound to this one planet (even if their blood does pierce dimensions).

I’m not sure how well I’m communicating my thoughts here, but the thing I’m trying to say is that if you look at the imagery and motifs surrounding the Titans vs. The Collectors, it makes sense they would cancel each other out. They’re basically each other’s opposites.

You know, when I first heard the expression "talk through one's hat" I didn't think it'd be quite so literal.

Oh well, I'm glad we cleared up that misunderstanding. King’s not gonna seal The Collector away again, they’re best buds!

…cue things going horribly wrong in three, two, one…

[yuriko-mukami]

His Possession Maniac: Epilogue

Yuriko lay on her bed, pressing her fox plushie against her chest. Days had turned long now that she couldn’t go to school and Ruki had kept his distance for a while. They should have gone looking for the shrine, but he had simply told her that first, they should solve how to keep her newly appeared skills in check.

Yet that wasn’t all. Over and over again, Yuriko’s mind played out the scene where Ruki grabbed Keisuke by the throat, almost killing him then and there.

Almost killing him.

Almost killing him.

Almost killing him.

Ruki was a vampire. A creature who sucked blood from living beings and could end the life of probably any mortal with his fingers only. The same hands that had caressed Yuriko’s body, had hurt others, perhaps taken one or more lives.

Was Ruki a killer?

Probably.

Rather likely.

Yuriko curled into a ball, burying her face into the fur of the plush toy. She had thought her life would be different with the Mukamis… and in a way it was, yet now she felt all alone again. Ruki was miles away even though he was just here with her, focused on solving a problem while Yuriko would have wanted to work on another.

But he didn’t kill Dad. He stopped. And… I can’t know if he has killed before. I can’t just assume things. It’s the wrong thing to do… But…

A sigh left Yuriko’s lips as she turned on her back. Maybe she should talk with Elizabeth about this. Would her friend understand her thoughts?

I don’t want to leave… I’m not going back to living with Dad and I don’t have any other place. Ruki is all I have… and I don’t want anyone else, but this… Is he a killer?

Swallowing, Yuriko rolled to her other side, staring at the wall in front of her. What had she expected? Ruki had bitten her in a very early stage of their relationship… Well, before there had been any connection between them. This nightly world Yuriko had been pulled into was full of dangers, full of creatures whose morale wasn’t like humans’ but something much darker.

And now I truly am one of them. Was Dad right after all? Am I a monster? That blue fire… It appeared out of nowhere. I should talk with Yuuto about this. Maybe I should sleep since I don’t have anything to do now. At least then I can try to reach him… if he allows me to enter the In-between.

Yuriko closed her eyes, but it took quite a while before she could calm herself down enough to fall asleep. Cuddling with her fox plushie she slowly sank into slumber and let her worries go for a little while.

Yuuto was on his feet the instant Yuriko arrived at the cliff. He let out a low growl but there was no aggressiveness in it. Yuriko inched closer, pressing her snout on his cheek. As she nuzzled him, her tense muscles started to relax, and soothing warmth spread through her.

“Yuuto… my eyes changed… and there was fire… Blue fire.” Yuriko’s voice was a mere quivering whisper.

“Huh? That hasn’t happened before?” Yuuto poked Yuriko with his snout. She shook her head.

“Mom and Dad paid to a blood witch to seal the kitsune in me…” And when Yuriko started to talk there was no end to it. She told every detail she knew. For once, Yuuto sat in silence and listened to her with a serious expression on his foxy face.

“Well… shit…” Yuuto lay on the ground. Yuriko sighed and curled right next to him. “Founders, huh?”

“I don’t know much about them…”

“One of them visited the village some time ago. They’re plannin’ on somethin’, but I’m not in a high enough position to know what’s goin’ on. They’re better than the vampires, not much, but at least they aren’t the reason we’re in our current situation. Anyway, I’m not interested in that shit, I don’t care what they’re up to. I just wanna be out of here and live with you, Little Sister.”

Yuriko nodded. “I just don’t know how to find the gate in the woods… or how to open it.”

“Turn into a fox and sniff your way there. There must be traces of the kitsune in there. I know some of us still use that gate.” Yuuto spoke as if he wasn’t saying anything odd at all.

“How? How do I turn into a fox?”

A sight left Yuuto’s lips. “It should be your second nature.” He swayed his tails as if confirming what he had just said. “You simply need to want it and call out the fox in you. Imagine this being you’re now and bring it into reality. If you can do it here, you can do it in the real world.”

Yuriko doubted it was that simple, but Yuuto’s suggestion was at least something she could do. While Ruki kept searching for the answers elsewhere, Yuriko could do her own research. She could find her inner fox.

“Good little pup. Find your inner fox and use that damn vampire to help to fight your way to me. Then we solve all the other issues together.”

Yuriko was about to answer but suddenly she felt a pull and the In-between started to fade around her.

“Yuriko…”

Yawning, Yuriko opened her eyes. Everything was hazy and for a moment she thought that maybe the amber-yellow monster's eyes had appeared again.

No… fox eyes.

Those were the words both Ruki and Yuuto had used. Now the said vampire sat on the bed and held out Yuriko’s glasses for her. Slowly, she sat up, took the specs, and put them on her nose. The field of her vision came clearer. Ruki’s eyes were peaceful, yet unreadable.

“How are you feeling?”

The question made Yuriko swallow. How could she even put everything into words? Her mind was still whirling.

“Haah, it was not a reasonable question.” Ruki brushed Yuriko’s cheek. The touch was featherlight, barely touch at all, yet it managed to send shivers down her spine. “We should talk about everything that happened.”

Yuriko stiffened but was able to nod. Ruki was right. They needed to discuss, otherwise, things wouldn’t move forward, and this cold feeling of loneliness wouldn’t go away.

“It seems the kitsune in you is not as sealed as we thought.” Ruki took Yuriko’s hand. His fingers were as cold as ever, yet there was something calming in that chilling touch as his thumb caressed the back of her hand.

"I… yes…" After talking with Yuuto, this was more than obvious, and now Yuriko knew what she should do. Yet, the how to do it part was something she needed to figure out with Yuuto’s vague advice. Her eyes and fire had appeared and then they had been gone again when she had woken up later after fainting.

"I wondered what the reason would be, so I contacted the blood witch again. She had not thought about it earlier, but her theory is that I caused this by sucking your blood." Ruki met Yuriko’s eyes.

The words made perfect sense. Of course, it was like this.

Yuriko nodded again. So, Ruki had sucked the magic out of her and now the kitsune in her was free once more.

“It was not assumed for you to make any contact with the supernatural after the sealing, so the witch did not take this into consideration. If this was not what you wished for yourself, I must apologize. I can simply hope that you will find the strength to forgive me this and other distress I have caused to you.”

“Ruki…” Yuriko swallowed. “You… you… I don’t care about sucking the magic out of my veins. Now, I can be the being I was supposed to be. I can save Yuuto by using my skills once I know how to turn into a fox…”

This time Ruki stayed silent, but his brows were tightly knitted together as if he didn’t truly like the idea. Yuriko pushed the thought aside.

“But… but… The other distress… Ruki, I know you are a vampire… and that you probably have killed before. I know this… and I accept this fact, though I wish not to know more about it. But… if you kill someone because of me… I can’t… I can’t have it… Please, don’t…”

Ruki took Yuriko’s hands, squeezing them with his cold ones. “I have seen your reaction and as your master, it is my duty to keep you happy.” He was silent for a moment again. “No. As your boyfriend, I should do that. I will not kill him, but I will not allow him near you either, for he seems always hurt you. This is my promise to you, my angel.”

Yuriko did her best to blink away the tears. She could only hope that Ruki was honest with her.

“I know you need time to think. Take all you want; I will wait until you can forgive me.”

Later that day Yuriko was sitting in the kitchen of the Mukami manor, drinking hot cocoa while reading Wuthering Heights. Suddenly, Azusa walked into the room and put an envelope right next to her mug. It had her name written over it with western characters but no address.

“That came… for you… Yuriko-san…”

Yuriko took the envelope in her hand and turned it over. She had no idea who even would write to her, not being able to remember when the last time was, she had received a letter from someone.

Could it be from Mom? Would she be able to send a letter… and without an address?

“Thank you, Azusa-kun,” Yuriko mumbled, her eyes glued to the letter.

“How are… you? Ruki has been… worried about… you.”

Lifting her gaze from the envelope, Yuriko tried to smile at Azusa. “Umh… I was a bit shocked about what he did… to my father… but I’m okay.”

“Ruki did the wrong… thing, but he meant… good. Yuriko-san… Ruki has changed… He was different when… we were still… doing our part… for that plan. But now Eve… has chosen her Adam… Ruki had no goal, no purpose… We all were lost… but I think it was the toughest for him. But he broke… all his own rules to get you…”

Yuriko blinked. Azusa had never talked this much to her. She curled her fingers around the warm mug and nodded, letting the words sink in.

“Ruki wishes… not to lose you…Yuriko-san. So, please forgive him… We all see how happy… you can make him. And seeing that… makes me happy. Yuriko-san… stay by Ruki’s side.”

“I… I will. I simply need time to… sort out my thoughts. But I do love him.” Heat covered Yuriko’s face as the words left her lips. Azusa was the first one she had now confessed openly that she indeed loved Ruki. Elizabeth probably knew it but never before Yuriko had said it out loud to anyone else than Ruki himself. She squirmed in place. So embarrassing just confess the fact just like that. Better change the subject! “Umh! You know… Azusa-kun… I’ve already lived here for a while now, so please, don’t be so formal with me. You can use my given name only.”

As Azusa smiled it was like someone had brought the sun into the kitchen and pulled cinnamon rolls out of the oven.

“Then… Yuriko-chan…” he said. “I feel… so happy…”

With that Azusa roamed out of the room, leaving Yuriko sitting at the table with a slightly open mouth. She shook her head slightly but couldn’t hide a smile. Finally, she pushed her mug aside and tore the envelope open. There was only one slice of paper inside full of tiny handwriting.

« Yuriko,

I wonder how you react to my letter... I'm sorry I can't say it in person... I am too weak. And I don't really have much time left... I am writing a letter to you to convey all the things I have not had time to say in person! Please read it.

I am leaving... Yes, I am leaving again... Even though my aunt says it's only for a while, but... I think it's for good. Please don't be sad! There's still a chance I could be wrong, right? I'll try to come back, too... And I won't be sad. Because I can't leave my friend here all alone.

I will begin by saying... I was very glad to meet you. I've told you before, but you've always seemed unattainable to me... It was as if you wouldn't accept me or push me away... I was afraid of that, so I stayed away. But I felt you were lonely. And I am very glad that we bumped into each other that day! Because I realized how wrong I was. You're a wonderful person, Yuri-Yuri! I'm sorry I was afraid of you at first. I'm glad that you and I became friends!

You've taught me a lot. You were fun to walk with, to go shopping... Your stories were always interesting, though you apologized for talking.

But that's okay!

I was glad you were sharing your knowledge with someone silly like me. Also, the sweets we tasted together were delicious!

You know, Yuri-Yuri... there's so much more I want to tell you... but I'm running out of paper. If we meet again, I'll be sure to say it out loud! And we will definitely meet again!

Please, love yourself more. I know you don't like yourself, but believe me, you are beautiful! I want you to believe it!

I don't know if you can wait for me, but... I wish you could. For me to come back to your class and have lunch together on the roof of the school. I'll be waiting! And I'll do anything to come back!

Elizabeth Virnien »

Yuriko read the letter three times before realizing what it was saying.

Elizabeth was leaving.

Elizabeth was leaving Yuriko… like everyone else before her. Yuriko blinked as she stared at the words, reading them over and over again. Why? This was so unfair! She had finally gotten a friend for herself, a person who had been supposed to stay with her!

Yuriko remembered what Elizabeth had been saying earlier. But still, she hadn’t really believed this could happen. Her only friend was leaving her behind and it was unclear if Elizabeth could ever come back.

It wasn’t the same as before but… still… Elizabeth was gone.

I can’t keep anyone, right? Maybe this is a curse set upon me…

The words blurred in front of Yuriko as her tears wetted the paper. She gasped and shivered. Was everything coming grumbling down? Why… She had thought her life would be better but… She wiped the corners of her eyes with the back of her hand, but the tears didn’t stop from falling. She took off her glasses and read Elizabeth’s letter one more time.

It’s true. She really went away… What if Ruki will leave one day too? I can’t… I can’t lose people around me again… Why does everyone always leave?

“Yuriko?”

Cold arms wrapped Yuriko in the cocoon against Ruki’s chest. She trembled as her back pressed on him. The tears ran down her cheeks as if someone had opened a dam.

Ruki stroked Yuriko’s back with one hand as she nudged him. With the other, he picked up the letter and lifted it, while her sobbing was the only sound in the kitchen.

“Ruki… I… I can’t… go on like this. Everyone always… always leaves me…”

“Yuriko…” Ruki cupped her cheeks while still holding the letter in his fingers. He forced her head up, meeting her fuzzy gaze. “I am sorry what happened with Elizabeth. It is not in my power to change it but I promise you this; I will not leave you. I will stay by your side always and never let go of you. I do anything to keep you. You are mine. Forever.”

Forever.

That was the vow Yuriko needed. For that, she would do anything as well.

Was this meant to be? I think it was. If your love is willing to do anything for you, then it is true love, right? I believe so. No matter the darkness around, love will always win. It has to win. Happiness can be found in the spark of joy, we share together. My happiness is in this darkness. So, I will embrace it fully. My place is next to this vampire I fell for. I have given myself to him. Officially now. And nothing has ever felt so right.

Beta read by @ruki-mukami-dl

[grendelsmilf]

What are your ideas on what Anne did in between leaving Amphibia and becoming a herpetologist?

oh god never try to answer long asks on mobile i had so many words typed of this and then i saw a rainbow and took a picture of it and when i went back to the tumblr app it was gone 😭 anyway this is a rly cute question here are some ideas (got long so i put it under a readmore)

she gets a new phone since she gave her previous one to sprig. only the old phonecase she has isn't made for her new model of phone. she finds a similar, cat-themed case but, ugh. it just isn't the same.

she joins her school's basketball team. she still plays tennis of course, but she also likes doing a team sport.

she also tries out fencing, but soon tires of it once she realizes that it's forbidden to fight dirty.

she and sasha start dating a little while after marcy leaves. they're together for less than a year when sasha starts to get worried that they might be getting too codependent and that some space could be good for them. anne agrees under the assumption that they'll get back together sooner rather than later, but in high school sasha gets a serious boyfriend. anne is extremely conflicted by this development, and starts distancing herself from sasha. they still talk and hang out and have sleepovers, and they always hang out with marcy whenever she comes to LA, but they're not as close as they once were. sasha just assumes that anne is busy with her other friends and doesn't overthink it.

her high school is way bigger than her middle school, and anne makes lots of new friends very quickly. some of them are also into amphibians, and they go to the woods together to look for frogs.

she gets really into baking, and starts making desserts for her family's restaurant. they're really good. some people come just for the desserts.

she starts applying herself more in school, and realizes that she actually really enjoys science. she even likes physics, despite the fact that it involves math and she sucks at math.

terri offers to tutor her in physics, but they barely work on homework together, and mostly just talk theory and philosophy. anne is fascinated by it, and thinks that maybe if they discussed this in class instead of kinematics she wouldn't be falling asleep all the damn time.

whenever anne is struggling with her schoolwork, she calls up marcy and has her walk her through it. marcy will always drop everything she's doing to help anne with her assignments. one time marcy stopped in the middle of making out with a girl to explain anne's math homework to her. that really killed the mood.

anne briefly considers applying to harvard, and uses this as an excuse to go to massachussetts to visit marcy. she knows not so deep down that she wants to be close to her family, and also that harvard is pure evil, but it's a fun notion to entertain for the sake of spending a very fun week with her oldest friend.

after sasha gets herself a boyfriend (who is anne's mortal enemy for reasons unclear), anne is determined to get a girlfriend. this shouldn't even be too difficult, considering that a few of anne's friends have crushes on her. but after a few failed kisses in which it's evident to all parties involved that anne feels nothing romantic for them, anne decides to give up. it's only in college (once she no longer sees sasha on a daily basis, funny that...) that anne enters a serious relationship. they're together for three years, but break up when her gf gets a job offer in florida (she's also a herpetologist) and decide that long distance isn't for them. they stay friends and still text all the time though.

she majors in bio of course, but she minors in film studies. anne has always loved cinema, and being in LA, her college offers a lot of really great courses in the subject. she even works at a movie theater for a couple summers, which her friends love because it means she can take them to go see movies for free.

she gets a tattoo of a lilypad on her wrist (where she broke her hand the first time she defended wartwood) and a lotus on the small of her back (where marcy and sasha have their scars). they're tastefully done, and mean a lot to her.

when domino dies, anne holds a funeral, and all her closest friends come, including sasha. she delivers a eulogy and then they watch her favorite movies on the couch while eating ice cream. the boonchuys wear all black for weeks. they loved that cat more than life itself.

she gets a tattoo of a domino on her other wrist.

okay i didn't want to end on a sad one so: anne asks sasha to go see love choice 3: the choicening with her. they haven't talked in a while, so sasha is surprised when anne asks her, but anne tells her that there's no one else with whom she'd rather see the final installment of the best series that totally isn't a ripoff of twilight and the hunger games ever.

they get a big bucket of popcorn and red and blue slushees (respectively). afterwards, anne remarks that she thinks the main girl should end up with cyborg guy's sister who was introduced in the second movie. sasha's like "wow you are literally too gay to appreciate these movies" and anne's like "you're saying that like you're not gay" and sasha's like "im bi" and anne's like "yeah sure whatever."

as they leave the theater sasha's like "you know, if marcy were here, she'd criticize this movie for its commercialism, lack of originality, and promotion of shallow love narratives invented by the patriarchy." anne's just glares at her like, "yeah, so it's a GOOD THING MARCY ISN'T HERE."

[glamfellens]

5, 22, 32 and 39 if you’re doin the shep questions!

5. How well does Shepard know their crew? Not just the companions, but the folks making up the Normandy

In ME1, Audrey is striving to be a model Alliance officer, so while she's not the most emotionally in-touch or available person she does try her best to be approachable and offer support when needed, but at the same time maintain the kind of appropriate distance you'd expect between an officer and their crew. This gets a bit confused with Kaidan (because hehe hoho, there's a spark there, just waiting to be ignited by the rising tensions of their current mission to stop Saren), but generally I think Audrey knows everyone at a base level and knows of some intimate details. In ME2 this changes a lot. Audrey is not only struggling with coming back to life, but processing the loss of two years and the damning implications of the Cerberus connection. This causing a lack of emotional availability means, for the majority of the crew, she takes a step back and creates a bigger distance between herself and them. There's still some degree of support being offered like before, but in general Audrey is more content to let the crew and squad make their own personal decisions. Audrey is also more wary of the more Cerberus-positive crew. However there is a disparity between her distance with certain squad/crew members and a closeness with others. While Audrey draws away from the majority, she becomes closer to Garrus, Miranda, Chakwas and Gabby. ME3 has Audrey trying to find a balance. There is definitely more of her ME1 attitude and values present, and I think perhaps the stress of the reaper invasion probably means she pulls a bit closer once again, if only to keep people motivated and keep their spirits as high as possible. That’s not to say she doesn’t care about the crew or have any personal or emotional investment in them, but I think by this point the deification of Commander Shepard is at its strongest and she doesn’t have the time or energy to dissuade anyone from it.

22. What’s the last thing Shepard ate before the final reaper showdown?

I think due to stress and anxiety levels that Audrey wouldn't have much mind for eating, but obviously you can't fight on an empty stomach - so probably something simple and unexciting like toast or...cereal. Nutrient paste maybe? She doesn't have the most exciting food palette thanks to being brought up on star ships and therefore more used to dehydrated space food than anything else!

32. What do they do when they have hit their limit angry, just incandescent with rage

It would really depend on the situation... though it generally takes a lot for Audrey to become truly angry and she wouldn’t want anyone else to see her in that kind of emotional state. I think it’s kind of funny because generally she is a reckless person who has no regard for her own well-being whatsoever, but wouldn’t let rage blind her and cause her to be reckless.

39. Do they keep around any sentimental items?

Lmao the crusty n7 helmet is definitely one, though I think it’s less for sentimental reasons and more, “Wow this really survived getting blown out into space? Guess it’s worth keeping!”. Though I suppose it’s grounding in some ways? A reminder of your mortality... totally cool and normal. Her old dog tags might have some sentimental value, especially as the trilogy progresses... a token of who she used to be and what she used to stand for, kept around to remind her that getting back to who she used to be isn’t impossible, even during her darkest and most self-destructive moments.

Fifty Questions for Commander Shepard

[roguebox-writes]

A God's Will - Chapter 4

Story Description: Being one of Il Dottore’s “projects” never ends. Even after he finishes his inhuman experiments, the only difference is now, Nadine must pretend to be what he made her to be, hiding that she regained control of her mind long ago. However, that becomes difficult when a traveler and his team show up in her life. Why do his teammates look familiar?

Word Count: 3400

Warnings: Posted on Main Page

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No one's POV

A blinding pain shot through Nadine’s head. She attempted to move a hand to her head to soothe the pain, only to find a rope that bound her to a tree.

What the hell?

Her eyes snapped open, only to be met with a pair of golden eyes that shone through the pitch black of the moonless night. They seemed to glow slightly through the darkness as they observed her from one of the distant trees.

"I can see you." Nadine’s voice rang through the night.

The Adeptus was taken aback by the woman’s words; he had thought he was hidden in not only the trees but the darkness of the night. It should’ve been impossible for a mortal to see him.

Xiao jumped from the tree, landing quickly and silently as he used his Anemo vision to soften his landing, silencing his feet hitting the dirt. He continued observing her silently as he approached her while maintaining a safe distance. It was clear she wasn’t possessed. She was speaking clearly, nor did her veins glow a pulsing black and green. Not like any demon he’s ever seen. Which made him question the mysterious dark aura he felt from her.

“Are you going to continue staring, or are you actually going to interrogate me?” The woman huffed, taking Xiao out of his train of thought.

Nadine knew fully well that she could break out of the ropes that bound her with ease, but her curiosity got the better of her. She wanted to know what this man wanted from her. If he knew who she was, he surely would’ve killed her when he found her passed out and vulnerable. So, what could he want from her?

"How do you know if I plan to interrogate you or not?" Xiao questioned.

The woman deadpanned him, looking down at the ropes around her, then back up at him.

"Seriously?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

The Adeptus cleared his throat, realizing now that might’ve been a stupid question. In truth, he only bound her to the tree to keep her from running from him. He’s seen humans interrogate each other this way, so he figured it’d be enough to keep her from escaping.

"Don't mock me, mortal."

Nadine eyed the man before speaking.

"... Mortal, huh? So implying you... aren't?"

Xiao grumbled under his breath. He’s never had to question anyone like this before. Who knew it would be so troublesome? If he knew this mortal would be so irritating, he would’ve gotten rid of her when he found her. He began to doubt his motivation for trying to interrogate this mortal to begin with, but his grief at losing Rex Lapis was making him act irrationally. All he knew or cared about at this point was getting answers, and he didn’t quite care how those answers were unearthed.

The woman let a smug expression show on her face. She was getting under his skin, and it was showing. So, she decided to push him further.

“You’re not very good at this, are you? First time? Would you like me to hold your hand through–”

Suddenly, the Yaksha drew his polearm, cutting off the woman’s mocking before charging to attack her. He knew harming the woman would do no good, but his rage and frustration were enough to momentarily blind him in the face of her taunting. However, he was taken aback by the way she matched his speed, snapping out of the ropes with a swift lift of her arms before summoning a sword and defending herself.

The smugness from her face disappeared completely, her expression turning icy as she stared back at him with disinterest. Xiao narrowed his eyes at her in response, guessing that maybe she wasn’t entirely human either. Not only did she match his speed, she effortlessly broke out of the rope wrapped around her multiple times.

"You could've broken out at any time?"

“Clearly,” Her expression remained stoic. “But out of curiosity, I wanted to hear what you had to say.”

She pushed him away from her before pointing her sword at him. Yet, she made no move to attack him further. Instead, Nadine waited for him to tell her what he wanted from her.

"Did you murder Rex Lapis?" He asked bluntly

"What? Why would you think that?" Nadine suppressed the shock that threatened to show on her face.

"Just answer the question before my patience runs out, and I kill you where you stand."

“Yes, because that worked so well for you the first time.” She extended her weapon at him further.

Xiao growled under his breath in frustration. For someone so stoic, this woman was surprisingly more irritating than any other mortal he’s met.

“No, I didn’t kill your precious Archon.” She replied.

“Don’t lie to me!” The Yaksha gripped his spear tighter in his hands as he pointed it at her again.

“What’s the point of asking me a question if you’re not going to believe my answer?”

“You expect me to believe the word of a Fatuus?”

Nadine eyed him. He knows she’s with the Fatui, but it’s clear he is unaware of her status. If she wanted him to believe her, she figured it best to keep it that way.

“Let me ask you this instead. What would be my reason for lying to you? I can clearly hold my own against you, and I’m no longer your hostage, so it wouldn’t be out of fear of my life. And if I was guilty of something, I could’ve escaped and ran long ago.”

The woman slowly put away her weapon, making it disappear with a wave of her hand before carefully raising her hands in the air. Frankly, she didn’t care if he believed her or not. She only wanted to draw his suspicions away from her for the sake of her’s and Childe’s mission. If they had what appeared to be an Adeptus poking his nose in their business, it might make finding the Exuvia harder than it already was. Of course, she could always kill him if he decided to get in their way. However, making him believe her was… the cleanest option. 

Xiao hesitated. Her words made sense to him, but the aura around her still puzzled him. Yet, something compelled him to cautiously lower his weapon anyway. If he made her trust that he believed her, perhaps she’ll answer his remaining question.

"I have one more question..." He stated.

Nadine sighed. She didn’t care for people poking around her business, but if she wanted him to stay out of Childe’s way, she knew she should oblige.

"I’m listening." She said, lowering her hands.

“... What are you?”

The woman stared back at him. A sense of anxiety filled her upon hearing the question. How was she supposed to answer that in a way that made sense? Or in a way that wouldn’t endanger her in any way? When she couldn’t come up with an answer, she turned her back on him before walking away. It was a long day, and Childe was undoubtedly worried about her by now.  

Xiao narrowed his eyes at the woman’s back.

"Did I say you could leave without answering my question?" Xiao’s voice rang with authority.

"I told you I'd listen to your question; I never said anything about answering… You’re welcome to try and stop me."

Nadine didn’t spare him a glance as she walked into the distance. She knew he wouldn’t stop her. He had nothing to hold over her, and her power was a mystery to him. So, if the man were wise, he wouldn’t challenge her unless he knew what he was up against.

Just as she suspected, Xiao let her leave. If she wouldn’t tell him, he’d find out for himself. Leaving behind a cloud of black and green smoke, the Adeptus disappeared into thin air. 

The sound of crickets in the dark surrounded the woman as she found her way back to the main road. However, one thing lingered in her mind as she decided which way was home.

“...What are you?”

The truth is, she didn’t answer because she didn’t know the answer herself. Only one man in Tyevat knew the answer to that question…

And that was Dottore.

~

Ajax’s POV - Four years ago

Bone-chilling screams echoed off the barren walls as I descended the stairs to Il Dottore’s lab. After my time in the Abyss, not much put me on edge, but the girl’s screams would make anyone’s blood run cold. I heard about the things that The Doctor did, but nothing could’ve prepared me for what I saw when I finally reached the lab.

A girl strapped to a table in the middle of an operating room sobbed. I approached who I assumed to be Dottore, who sat in front of a desk, taking notes as he watched her through the glass that separated us from her. On the other side, one of his clones grasped a syringe with an unknown substance. The girl’s eyes widened as Dottore signaled his clone to inject her.

Her back arched toward the ceiling as she let out another cry of pain while her body moved and convulsed on its own. The only thing keeping her from falling off the table was the bindings that turned her wrists and ankles red as she struggled against them. Her face twisted into an almost inhuman expression as the pain wracked her body like waves. Despite all my time serving the Tsaritsa, I never saw someone in that much pain; it almost consumed her.

I’ve seen and done terrible things, but what The Doctor was doing to the girl made my stomach churn. 

"Hm... Interesting. No results with that one either, huh? My, my, my dear. You sure are a stubborn one, aren't you?" Dottore looked up from the notes he had taken to look in my direction.

“Can’t you see I’m busy? I don’t like to be interrupted during my studies.” He snapped.

“Sorry, sir. I’m the new recruit that’s been assigned to you.” I replied, attempting to talk over the girl’s sobs.

“Yes, yes, whatever. Go inside and clean up the mess she makes in between tests.” He shooed me off.

Mess?

I didn’t have to question his words further when I entered the testing room. There was new and dried blood splattered on the floor. The clone pointed to a mop on the side of the room before returning to the observation room.

I ignored the pit in my stomach as I began, trying to block out the girl’s sobs as I cleaned. I somehow found myself looking up at her. Now that I was closer, I could see new and old wounds scattered along her body, blood crusted on her skin, and made her brunette locks stick together. There was a slight pang in my chest when her head flopped to the side, caramel eyes staring at me through tears, pleading with me.

“P–Please…” Her voice cracked when she spoke.

“Hey! Grunt!” Dottore’s voice rang over the intercom. “Don’t speak with the subject; you’ll mess up my results.” 

Despite my better judgment, I tore my eyes from her, finishing my task before turning to return to the observation room.

“W–Wait… Plea–”

Her voice was cut off when the bindings around her shocked her, earning another cry of pain from the girl.

“Did I allow you to speak?” Dottore’s voice spoke.

I quickly returned to the observation room so she wouldn’t try and speak again. I stood behind Dottore as he sent his clone in again. With that, a new chain of screams continued for the next few hours.

After The Doctor left, I was tasked with cleaning the test room thoroughly. The girl before was returned to her cell in another part of the lab. 

An idea came over me when I looked around the lab. It was empty.

I left quickly, only returning later with a bag slung around my shoulder. After searching the lab, I found a dark hallway with cells aligning the dark walls. After searching them, I found only three of them were occupied. However, there was only one I cared about.

"Um... Hello?" I whispered to the girl. 

She sat against one wall gazing at the one across from her. Her look seemed empty; it wasn’t mournful or full of sadness like I had expected it to be; it was blank and completely devoid of life. Upon hearing my voice, she tilted her head towards me.

"I know this doesn't help anything, but..." Kneeling to the ground, I pulled out a roll of bread and a water bottle I had brought in a bag for her and extended my arms through the bar.

The girl narrowed her eyes at me, distrust filling her eyes.

"I'm sorry for not being able to do anything earlier... I know this doesn't make up for it, but I hope it helps you a little."

Her eyes went from me to the food in my hand. She hesitated before slowly crawling over to me. Finally, she sat against the wall again, accepting the food. 

"... Thank... you..." Her voice was hoarse as she spoke.

“I’m sorry I can’t do more…”  I slowly rose to my feet, but the girl grabbed my pant leg before I could leave.

“... S–stay… Please…?” 

Caramel eyes pleaded up at me, and I felt my heart ache at the look on her face. Something about her drew me to her, and despite my better judgment, I sat back down.

"Alright..."

We sat in silence as she ate, and I took the opportunity to observe her. Dirty brunette locks framed her face, going down to her waist. By the way her cheeks were sunken and the speed she ate the bread, it was clear she wasn’t given much food. 

Maybe I could bring her something more another time.

Despite the state she was in, she was quite lovely. Underneath a layer of dirt and dried blood, her features looked innocent. I couldn’t help but wonder how someone like her ended up in a place like this.

"I-... I don't... blame you... so... you shouldn't... blame you." Her voice pulled me from my thoughts as she tilted her head towards me again.

I furrowed my eyebrows at her. How was she comforting me when she was the one who was in a cell?

"Nadine." She snapped me out of my thoughts.

"What?"

"My name... it's Nadine." She extended her shaky hand through the bars.

"...Ajax," I replied as I raised my hand to hold hers and shook her hand.

No one's POV - Present Day

It's almost two in the morning, and she isn't back yet.

Ajax was stuck in his own head, spiraling down a list of worst-case scenarios, unable to help the worry and anxiety that had filled his chest. Earlier, when he got back, he waited for her to return. By the time the sun was setting, he had started getting worried, so he had gone to the bank only to find out she'd taken some jobs for debt collection.

The man wasn’t worried if she could handle herself. He knew Nadine could fight her way out of anything without breaking a sweat. However, he worried about her having an episode she couldn’t calm herself down from alone.

Nadine made him promise that if she ever had an episode she couldn’t calm down from, to knock her out before she lost control. So, Ajax came up with the idea to keep a syringe and a bottle of medication they could use to sedate her in both their rooms in Snezhanaya. The man spent most of his time in Liyue, so if she had an episode that he wasn’t there to help her calm down, she could sedate herself if things got too bad.

Ajax tries to hide it from her, but he is just as terrified of Nadine losing herself again. He watched it happen the first time. One night she was the same frail girl he grew so fond of; the next, she wasn’t. Her soft caramel eyes were replaced with cold and icy blue eyes. He watched Nadine be replaced with someone else entirely. Whatever Il Dottore did to her gave control of Nadine’s body and mind.

Marzanna was the name of the voice in Nadine’s head. The voice that took control of her body for two years. Unfortunately, neither Ajax nor Nadine knew what The Doctor did to create the mysterious voice. It’s been something the man had researched since the day Nadine was no longer in control, desperately wanting to get his friend back.

This was one of Ajax’s worst fears; to lose Nadine to Marzanna once again. That fear only increased when he went to look for her at the first name of the list she had taken, only to find the door busted down and a man dead inside. After examining the body, he could tell it had been hours since she’d been there.

The sound of his apartment door opening pulled him from his thoughts and stopped his pacing. As his friend walked around the corner, he snapped his head toward the hallway where the front door was.

Nadine met his eyes and could instantly read the worry that filled his azure irises.

“Hi, I'm so sorry for worry–”

Her voice was cut off by the man charging her. His hands found her cheeks and forced her to look up at him so he could check for even a glint of the infamous blue eyes that Marzanna possessed. Relief flowed through him when he saw they were still the golden brown he had grown so fond of.

Ajax wrapped his arms around the woman, pulling her into a suffocating hug in relief. 

“A–Ajax– Can’t breathe.” Nadine’s voice was muffled in his chest.

“Right, sorry,” He released her, allowing her to walk further into the apartment to sit down. “Are you okay? What happened? I went to find you when the sun started going down and found a very dead Mr. Zixin instead.”

She mentally winced at the memory before explaining what had happened. Starting with the mild influence Marzanna had over her and ending with the immortal being who had kidnapped her.

"What was his name?" Ajax asked from the other side of the room as he started walking to the front door again.

"Wait, what? Where are you going?" Nadine followed.

"I just wanna talk to him."

"What? Ajax no–"

"I just wanna talk to him."

“Stop,” She stood in front of him, holding him by the arms. “I don’t know his name, and no, you’re not going to find him right now.”

With a frustrated sigh, he watched Nadine and reluctantly returned to the living room, sitting on the couch. Nadine slowly followed and sat next to him, allowing tension to fill the silence that fell over them. They knew that the immortal being was the least of their concerns. However, neither one of them wanted to bring up the real problem.

Marzanna was becoming more of a hassle as of late. The episodes she had were becoming more frequent, and Marzanna was rarely able to influence Nadine like she had done today. Nadine didn't want to lose control to Marzanna again. She already has to live with the guilt of all the innocent people she killed while Marzanna had a hold over her; she didn't want any more innocents to die because of her. 

The day Nadine woke up and learned of what she had done, she couldn't help but scream and panic. Ajax desperately tried to convince the woman it wasn't her fault, that it wasn't her who killed all those people... not her that stole the Gnosis of the Anemo Archon, but nothing could erase the guilt, and she beat herself up about it at any chance she got.

Ajax had felt especially helpless, for he had spent so much time and energy trying to find out what Dottore did to his friend, only to come up empty-handed every time. He wouldn't be able to help her if Marzanna could control her again. It was by sheer luck that she managed to regain control... would she be able to do it again?

The pair let out a frustrated sigh.

[pikachuondrugs]

Doom Upon The World

A/N: This is a series I’ve already started and posted here. Decided to bring it here as well, maybe it’ll break my writers block? Here to hoping! Eventually all chapters available there will be brought over here once re-edited. Would love to hear any thoughts, ideas, criticisms ya’ll have!

Pairing: Aleksander x Alina

What if Baghra’s motives for separating Aleksander and Alina were far more… sinister?

I’d had plans for the Sun Summoner for hundreds of years. How to control her, to use her against our enemies, and yet… It all seemed to disappear when she finally came into my life. Alina Starkov. My Sun Summoner. My equal. My other half. I'd never truly understood the concept of soulmates until her. I hadn’t realized how much of myself was missing until she had been quiet literally dragged into my life.

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Chapter 2: Balance

I will not let her have Alina. I will find a way to destroy her, if she tries to hurt Alina. No one will take Alina from me. No one. I’ve lost enough, I’ve given enough.

"That's quite enough, Mother." Of course it was Baghra. Who else would dare to try to steal her away from me? Take what was meant to be mine, what should be mine? My Alina. My Solnishka. The only ray of light in the darkness of my life.

She looks frightened, whether it was of me, or of Baghra, I couldn’t tell. I can’t bring myself to look into her eyes, fearing what I’d find there, even as my shadows reach out for her impulsively. Fear? Revulsion? Perhaps hatred? Would she despise me now, knowing who I am and what I’ve done? Perhaps once it would not have mattered... but now...

I focused on Bagrha instead. My mother's expression was hard, uncaring. She swept away my shadows with a wave of her hand, making me grit my teeth. Useless. Still no match. I should have known she would betray me, shouldn't have allowed her to worm her way back into my life, with promises of training my charges. She had never meant well, never did anything for anyone but herself. I was foolish to think anything had changed.

"You do not command me, boy. She comes with me." Baghra sneered. Her hand tightened around Alina's wrist, dragging her closer, her own shadows pushing out to confront mine again. It was futile, I knew, to try to fight her off alone. She was much older, had a control over her power like no other. I learned nearly everything from her, what could I hope to use against her?

Baghra had always been a harsh, cold woman. Even when I was a boy, she maintained a cool distance that I couldn’t understand. It had only grown worse when my powers manifested. I was only a child of five or six when the shadows spilled from me for the first time. At the time I’d never seen my mother summon before. The shadows that clung to me, while somehow familiar, terrified me. Baghra had dragged me inside our small hut quickly. She'd explained to me that in order to survive, we would leave immediately and begin my training. Power was the only thing that would keep us safe. I would need to gain control of my powers and hone my skills. She looked at me with something akin to greed when she talked about our gifts. There is no one like us, and never will be. Everything else, everyone else was inconsequential. No one would be able to do what we did, live as long as we did.

She was never fond of anyone, not even our own people. She was careful to keep us apart from everyone else, reminding me constantly of their mortality, and our own immortality. “The problems of the world are not our problems,” she would hiss. She was a cruel woman, always had been. We had never seen eye to eye. She always thought me foolish for trying to her my people, our people. She had no issue with the way Grisha were hunted and killed for simply being. “They all die sooner or later, and people never change,” she reminded me.

But she had trained my powers well enough, knew more about bringing Grisha powers to the surface than any other, no matter how cruel her methods. As the only other living amplifier in the world, her help was invaluable. I had no other choice but to accept her offer to train my Grisha. Even if I hated her, I still needed her help. I had hoped having her in the Little Palace would allow me to keep a close eye on her. How had i missed this?

I should not have let her come here, anywhere near Alina, near any of my Grisha. But she had played on my foolish hope she could change her mind, that she could care what happened to our people. She only cared for herself. But what did she want with Alina?

She had not cared about any of my progress, or any of my plans, thought it seems she payed closer attention then I thought. But why? Why does she care now?

I knew my mother. She did not tell our secret to anyone, so why Alina? Why did she want Alina away from me so badly? She didn’t care about Alina, and she hadn’t cared who I bedded in hundreds of years. It couldn’t just be out of spite. Alina was my equal, the only other person in the world that could spend eternity with us. She knew I had no intention of following through with my plan to control Alina. I was foolishly honest with her, for the most part, about Alina. And yet she tried to manipulate her away from me. Why?

Alina wasn’t powerful enough yet to be of use to Baghra. She still needed far more training before she could begin using her powers against anyone. But what use would she have for her? Her only real goal had always been to survive, so why did she need Alina?

Whatever her plans for Alina, I knew they were malicious. I’d never truly challenged my mother before. Her powers had always surpassed mine. But now I have resources, power, loyal soldiers on my side. I am not a scared little boy anymore, and I will fight her tooth and nail. I will not let her have Alina. I will find a way to destroy her, if she tries to hurt Alina. No one will take Alina from me. No one. I’ve lost enough, I’ve given enough.

"Aleksander..."

[feralandmoonstruck]

Falling In Love Will Kill You pt. 4

WC: 901

Tag list: @adie-dee @pheita @kainablue @jezifster @aschlindartroom

She scooped another brownie from the pan and handed it over before taking one for herself. “You wanna watch anything?"

"No." His reply came immediate and firm. "I've seen mortal videos and I have no desire to see more."

Mara shrugged, "Alright then. If you change your mind lemme know, okay?"

"I doubt that I will, but I will tell you."

"Sooo, what do you wanna do then?"

    Caldizaar bit into his brownie. "What do mortals do?"

    “We usually watch TV. Or we could go for a walk, I guess. I doubt you’d want to play a game. Not that I have many anyways. So, walking it is then. You wanna take the brownies with us?”

    “You are very persistent about these brownies.”

“I told you already, letting them go to waste is a shame. Besides, we’re almost done with them.”

    “Fine.” He stood up and waited for her to stand and take the pan of brownies.

Mara led him to the door and the porch outside. Above them, the stars twinkled.

"Can I say goodbye to anyone?"

"It does not work that way. You live here, you die here. Bringing in others will only make it hurt more."

"And if I ignore you?"

"You'll not have that kind of chance. Tearing out your soul takes but a few seconds. It would be over before you could even take your next breath."

"God, you're no fun."

"Demons aren't meant to be fun. Well, demons like me aren't meant for it."

"There are different kinds then?"

Caldizaar nodded, "Hundreds. Maybe even thousands. There are more than to bother with remembering."

"Like humans and their names?"

"Much like that, yes."

Mara sighed, "Guess I should enjoy my quiet last night alive. There's a park near here we could go to." Caldizaar followed her down the steps and into the night.

The park was only a few blocks away. As they walked Mara breathed deeply to savor every breath she could before it was all gone. Part of her wished this was all a dream, but she knew it never could be. There was a stack of plans and dreams and wishes all piled up inside her, but they were turning to ash and being swept away. Cal was right, trying to say goodbye would only make it hurt more for her and for anyone she talked to. There was no explaining it. No one would be able to understand. She barely understood.

"Hey Cal?"

The demon looked over at her, his glowing core like a beacon in the fading light. "Yes?"

"Why am I dying?"

"We aren't given those answers. We don't get to know much about the Claimed. We have coordinates and names and little else."

"Didn’t think you would," she sighed. "Wish I knew though."

"You're the only one to ever ask."

"I really am just bursting with firsts for you, aren't I?"

"You are. It's a bit-"

"Annoying?"

"Well, yes, that but it's also uncomfortable and frustrating and entirely different from anything I have ever experienced."

"I guess that makes sense."

"I feel possessed. These things keep snaking beneath my skin and infecting me."

"Then why didn't you just kill me? Why give me another day?"

"You never begged. You had no idea why this was happening and you never begged or tried to bargain. You're the only one to ever accept it."

"I mean, most people my age are just kinda waiting for death to happen. A lot of it's a joke, but there is maybe a small part of us that just expects it."

"You mortals are such strange creatures."

The park came into view before them. Jungle gyms and slides glinted in the glow of the the streetlights. In the distance they could hear the fountain spewing up and into the pond with the sound of rain falling on water.

"So what time do I die tomorrow?"

"Dawn seems appropriate."

Mara nodded. "Soon then."

"Yes."

She was quiet as they began their circuit around the park. Halfway around she dug another brownie out of the pan using her fingers and shoved it into her mouth. Caldizaar took the pan she thrust at him.

"Are you… I'm not certain what to say."

Mara choked down the brownie. "I don't. I'm not ready to die, Cal."

"Mortals do not get to choose when they die."

"It fucking sucks. I don’t," her voice hitched with a sob, "there's so much I want to do."

"Those things take time."

"No shit! This isn't fair!"

"I could take it now if you wish?"

"No!" she shouted. She snatched the brownie pan from him and threw it as far as she could.

"I thought you did not want to waste your brownies?"

Mara screamed loud and long until her voice grew hoarse and she fell into a coughing fit.

"You seem as though you need to be comfy right now. Since there are no more brownies I will hug you." She didn't stop him as he gingerly put his arms around her.

She sniffled, her nose clogged from her tears. Caldizaar's arms were warm, and despite the sticky summer heat she leaned into him.

"Are you comfy?"

"No," she sobbed.

"Would you like to continue the hug?" Mara nodded and Caldizaar held her tighter. "Tell me when you are finished with the hug. Perhaps you would like to return to your couch then"

[talesgolden]

☘ : My muse’s relation with their family. (If they speak with each other and how much, if they are close or estranged, e.t.c.).  for ag :)

(Symbol-based Headcanons)

Oh, oh boy. Listen so this is the way it seems to me, right now, but it’s subject to change because there’s a lot of people involved ok? But [cracks knuckles] here we go

Agnieszka considers all of the Chernabog shards/vessels/whatever you want to call them her siblings. They are coarse, they are dark, they are different, and they are hers. Her family. Even when they are unkind to her, even when she is unkind to them. Even when they are fighting and clawing and biting and ripping at each other, that is her den of devils, and she would defend and rescue and protect all of them. Any one of them. Mostly they are stronger than her and don’t really need help or protection, but that’s ok too.

She has a more benign personality than several of the others, but nevertheless keeps a very us-and-them view of the world which... in all honesty, is fair, really. She’s not a human or even mortal. Any other person she could potentially become close with is far more vulnerable, far less understanding, and distinctly going to die, someday. Her siblings are strong, know her nearly better than she understands what she is herself, and will live alongside her evermore, until the skies go black and maybe even longer. They don’t rightly know, yet. She is really quite neutral towards outsiders, but her family, her siblings, are everything. There is no one closer, and it’s unlikely that will change. Even if she were to fall out with any of them, her siblings would still vastly outweigh anything else you put before her. She loves them, through all. The world she could take or leave, really, as long as she could keep her siblings.

While they’re all roughly of similar ages (as in all within five years of each other, as they were all created in the same span of threat) she has a distinct role in the overall dynamic of being a younger sister to everyone except Flea. This means, like most younger sisters, she is generally a bit coddled by most of the others, and simultaneously their biggest bother. She is more manipulative than outside eyes tend to see, and sometimes it works and sometimes it just annoys the others. Resident master-pouter: she has puppy dog eyes and she’s not afraid to shamelessly employ them to get her way! And she is something of a pester-er, with many questions and a habit of trailing along behind one of the others in the hopes of being included. She is dear, she is dastardly. No doubt there are times she annoys the others to high heaven, but when things get serious and she calls for help, they are swift to her side and protective to homicidal degrees. They can bully her, you absolutely cannot.

uhhhhh for the next part I’ve done some plotting with the others for dynamics between siblings, but also I’m just going to assert some of this by the seat of my pants/the vibes of what I think the dynamics are probably like. So they’re subject to a little change, when/if we get more into talking about it, but--- more specific sibling-by-sibling info under the cut:

Hella: The most distant dynamic, Helvetica is quite independent and, further, quite different from safety-seeking Agnieszka. They don’t spend very much time with each other at all. Nevertheless, big sister hung the very stars in the sky and can do no wrong. Every now and then Ag will go into phases of trying to emulate her chaotic eldest sibling. It generally doesn’t end well for anyone involved.

Kon: Oldest brother, meanest brother. For his half, Konstantin carries a largely apathetic attitude everywhere he goes. He bullies his siblings as indiscriminately as anyone else he’s ever encountered, and Ag is no exception to this. She frequently tries to appeal to him despite being repeatedly and often harshly shut down. Sometimes she bites back, but mostly it just makes her sad that he claims to want distance— she thinks he’s bluffing, because she thinks he doesn’t want at all. She thinks she can fix that.. somehow. She’s got time to figure it out, and in the meantime she’ll keep making puppy eyes.

Freyja: Classic big sister/little sister dynamic, taller-little-sister syndrome included, with a spin of being strangers to each other for many of their early years. Freyja is so smart! and strong! and knows everything about everything!! Ag wants to learn from her, and frequently asks questions, repeats the the answers, and generally takes Freyja’s word as the definitive truth of everything. They’re aren’t super close, as yet, but Ag wants very badly for them to be. (So much so it might be the main obstacle to them actually being close. It’s hard to build on something idealized.)

Gonzo: Perhaps the most human-minded of the siblings, Zo is very bound to his mortal shape and the lives of many humans, and for that he Jagna don’t have much in common. He is also, though, fun! and good about being straightforward and clear with her, if somewhat blunt in a way that can hurt her feelings sometimes. He frequently intervenes when Kon is being particularly nasty, and is also likely to try to cheer her up when she’s feeling low. They aren’t necessarily tight-knit, but definitely good with each other. Ag will bite you for messing with Zo (you will not like it.)

Yana & Alexei: The twins, terse and tangled, are the siblings Kat & Ag have known the longest and leaned on the most. Yana & Alexei are the ones who discovered what was going on inside the church’s orphanage. They freed Katja & Jagna from their childhood of torment. The four of them spent some time as a unit, during which Kat & Ag gained their names and a new understanding of who -what- they even were to have been targeted as they were by the lord judge who held them captive. There is also a sense of understanding the four of them have, as each pair knows something of what the other feels and experiences as bonded duos. Two sets of twos, in slightly different fonts. Voted most likely to huddle together and hiss secrets in each others’ ears. Though, as I said, it seems broadly true the others are defensive of Ag, Yana & Alexei (& Kat) in particular will absolutely end you in a myriad of creative and very painful ways if you so much as think of hurting or harassing Agnieszka.

Katja: Jagna’s other half in a very literal sense. Too much to go into, and yet as simple as that. Though they have split and spread since the time they were one and the same, they remain deeply entrenched in each other, and although all of her siblings are dear, the honest truth of it all is that Katja is on another level. When Jagna wonders if she would survive the loss of her sister, it is not a metaphorical question. Could she exist without Kat? Well. No one will ever know, because no one will ever hurt Kat. Jagna is sworn to it. It’s what she was born for.

Valeria: Most likely owing to their proximity in age, griping and snarling and squabbling are the best words to apply to the relationship between Valeria and Ag (and by extension, Kat— or perhaps, it’s Val and Kat who have problems, and Ag who gets towed into it.... it’s hard to tell.) It is, mostly, affection in an antagonism hat, a vitriolic sort of normal that simply defines them to each other. That’s Val, she’s stinky. Sometimes, though, it escalates into them genuinely trying to wound each other, both emotionally and physically. Regardless, whatever stage of snippish, they’ll happily turn on a third party in tandem, to rip them to shreds should they think they have any right to antagonize one or the other, or even just stick their nose into it. Afterwards, they’ll go happily right back to criticizing each other.

Flea: Baby brother, beloved. Outside of Kat, he’s the sibling Ag feels the most close to. Both of them are somewhat less bound to their mortal bodies than the others seem to be, more at home in stranger, wilder forms. They spend a lot of time together, away from the lives and world and worries of humans. They see less of themselves in people, more from their siblings. From each other. Flea is the only sibling (Kat included!) Ag has never once argued with. They are all of them monstrous one way or another, but Ag and Flea seem the most inclined toward the inhumanity of it. Though they rarely acknowledge it in words, they hold common ground in that they seem to be formed from the Chernabog’s basest parts: the Shadow and the Beast; the darkness and the hunger.

[laffy-taffy-creations]

Date of origin: Sept. 12 2022

Lambada

Warnings: nothing, be very aware that this is directly related to edit audios so there are maybe two points plus the name that might remind you of songs, also I was tired of going back and reading my old work and wanted to share my more recent stories. Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I ran. I ran, I ran, I ran. 

There's nothing else I could do. I went a little too far this time, trying to protect myself and them, and now I was in trouble. I didn't manage to make it to the forest but that was probably for the best, however I did make it to a field. 

A wide open space where I could easily see the small army of heroes chasing after me, NM at the front leading the charge. The pouring rain made it foggy and I had to go slower so I didn't slip, but I had no clue where I was going next. 

I couldn't do this, I bit off a bit more than I could chew again, I needed help. I gained some distance but kept running to keep it. 

"Anath? Could use a little assistance here!" I shouted into the openness. I had to slow down but kept moving. 

She didn't respond instantaneously like usual. Shit shit shit. 

"Anath?" I called out. 

Nothing. 

"Constell? Coco? Anybody?" I yelled into the storm, trying to keep moving but slipping and needing to stop for a bit for oxygen. Nobody was responding. 

I started jogging to get away, having a considerable distance from the people chasing me but barely enough for me to have anything close to comfort. 

"Hello?" I called out. I slipped and fell, and was forced to face the fact I was probably alone right now as I turned around and started backing away from the horde of angry people. 

"Lambada, Lambada!" I screamed in a last attempt to save myself, hoping, praying someone would come help me as the heroes began closing in. 

Then a sudden warmth hit me, and knocked most of my pursuers back, and the surrounding area was shrouded in a warm orange-tan light that drove away the storm but not the fog and dried me off. I looked up and saw Merphine in all her 20' tall Ethereal glory, protecting me. 

An echoey growl sounded, seemingly coming from every side of the surrounding openness but definitely caused by her. She shrunk herself back down to mortal form which was still tall, 6' 3", and started yelling and cursing in Ancient Geldyrn and she stormed towards NM. 

I could make out most of it, but didn't need to understand her words to know she was angry. She brought out her claws as she stalked closer and forced them onto NM's chest like a threat, shoving him back slightly, not going in far enough to hurt anything but definitely able to reach in and pull out his heart in the blink of an eye. 

I wasn't the only one who could hear but was the only one who could understand her threat, 'Leave them alone you asshole or you'll have to go through me, and if you go through me you'll be tasting stardust and being burned by plasma before I ever get the chance of ripping you the shreds with my bare hands'. At least, that was the rough translation. 

"Sayul," I weakly shouted over to her, basically asking 'you're really doing this? Really?' but in less of an angry way and more of a tired way. 

"Sayul," she repeated, confirming. 

"Sayul?" I asked again, just to make sure. 

"Sayul," she confirmed again, then went off calling NM a 'fucking coward with no sense of dignity' which I wasn't about to argue against. 

We repeated the 'sayul' thing again, and this time after her second confirmation she started getting even angrier than before, her claws growing slightly, and her hair and body beginning to levitate while her powers were put on standby, and she seemed determined to kill him for his violations against me both here and now and for the ones not from this timeline. 

I ended up using a small amount of strength I had left to create vines around them both and pull them back and away from each other before anything really happened. 

"Just get me home, please," I begged, tired and ready for this to be over. 

Her features softened and she came towards me, so I let down the vines. She lifted me into the air with her powers before she came within 10 feet of me and I laid down against the platform of stars she had made for me. 

"Don't worry, we'll get you home and healed up, I'm sorry I was the only one who could hear your cries for help while the communications system was down," she said. 

I didn't care too much, but it was nice to know I hadn't been ignored or forgotten. Her presence washed over me the closer she got, so comforting. 

I was almost asleep by the time she had me directly in her arms and brought me to the Empires, laying me down in my bed there. I felt her presence fade, and Anath's join me as I finally fell asleep, too exhausted to care about any consequences or cover-ups back in my universe, I was safe with them here and now and that's all that mattered.

[xiaophilia]

| SAGAU | Villain Au!

「 ⸙The Divine One⸙ 」

۪۫❁ཻུ۪۪┊Yandere!Genshin Impact Harem x Gender neutral! Reader

‣Okay so I've been reading too much SAGAU lately and I couldn't stop myself from making my own idea of the Au. Now please take note that English is not my first language and I'm using mobile so it's gonna be rlly shitty.

✎...Includes: Jean, Kaeya, Xiao <Mentioned: Lisa, Klee, Diluc, Venti, Zhongli, Hu-tao>

❬Tw: Vague discription of dying, genshin characters being a-holes, Reader being chased by angry mobs, blood, death, slight yandere themes(sort of?), religous themes(idk), swearing/profanities, starvation❭

Under the cut!

❬⸙: ❝Act 1: The chase ❞ :⸙❭

Now, being isekai'd into another world by the famous truck-kun was something you always thought of as something fictitious (and as silly as it sounded you hoped it wasn't.) Of course it was fictitious, not until it happened to you.

It was your fault honestly, if you weren't so caught up reading R18 Genshin impact x reader fan fictions, you wouldn't be dead, but you could have sworn to the heavens above that, that truck came out of fucking nowhere.

And as if being hit by a truck wasn't enough, now you were being chased by a mob of angry knights with sharp swords pointing towards you with the intent of murder. The same knights from a game you oh so adored, Genshin impact.

At first you were happy, after all—being iskeai'd to your comfort game might be everybodys dream. But when you stepped into Mondstadt, The city of freedom, you were greeted by harsh glares and sneers from the people, it all happened so fast... your world was a blur (probably the after effects of getting hit by a truck) and now you're running for your life.

Why are they chasing you again? Oh right, it seems that you've committed a heinous crime, a crime so horrible you deserve the death penalty, and that was looking like a God you've never heard before.

"Bullshit"

You were limping, every bone in your body was hurting. You just got hit by a literal truck for fucks sake, how are you even standing? You're pretty sure you should be dead by now. Did being iskeai'd to another world lessen the pain? You didn't know, nor did you want to know.

It hurts. It's been hours since your last stop in a hillichurl camp (they seemed to be all to happy to let you rest), but after being spotted by the knights, you started running again, going through the beautiful terrains you once went through as Aether in the game. You wanted to rest but the knights chasing you had other plans.

You've been running for days and nights, can't they just give you a break?

"You filthy impostor! Stop running!" You could hear Jean shout from a distance. For once you hoped she was just in her office overworking herself. Losing the knights would be easier without her leading them. Was looking like some God you didn't know really that bad for the Acting Grandmaster of The Knights of Favonious to chase you down herself? Hell, even Lisa and Diluc are here, there's Venti too and how can you forget that cute child arsonist throwing bombs at you?

Hell they even went as far as chasing you from Mondstadt to Liyue. And speaking of Liyue, you could see the the Masked Yaksha in the group -his pole-arm that you gave him- in hand ready to eliminate poor little old you. 'I thought he doesn't hurt mortals?!' Was your first thought—maybe you were an exception. Huh? If Xiao's here then Zhongli, Hu-tao and the Liyue Qixing may not be far.

A mix of explosion and and thunder were heard behind you, you didn't need to look behind to know that they were close, but you weren't afraid of them catching you, not when a they're fighting hordes of hilichurls, mitachurls and five ruin guards that came out of some kind of portal...? You don't know how they're here and why they're helping you, but either way you're thankful. And because of that you now feel bad for killing them just to get materials for leveling and ascending your characters who were now trying to kill you.

You just ran and ran until you reached the boarders of Dragonspine, after parkouring through the the group of camping adventurers who had their weapons high, ready to strike.

You ran through the snowy terrain, feeling the cold air blow against your burning skin hurt. It was cold too,really, really cold. The wound on your stomach that you didn't notice was starting to hurt more and more. You're legs were about to give up but you continued further. Hoping to spot a hillichurl camp to stay in and maybe eat those suspicious looking steak and maybe you could make a delicious soup to share with the hillichurls...but alas-life was bitch, you couldn't find any.

You're body collapsed, you were tired, dead tired. The snow felt cold against your skin.

You layed there still, liquid started to pool down from your open wound, staining the snow a mix of gold and red. In short you were dying. Your mind started to wander, 'Will the boars eat me?'...wait do boars even eat meat? You didn't know, you just hoped that if they did, you'd already be in the after life.

Sleepiness started to take over, but if you slept in this weather you'd die for sure.

It was silent in Dragonspine, other than your ragged breathing you couldn't hear anything. Well at least it was. Rushed footsteps can be heared—and the next thing you know, a pair of mismatched eyes stared down at you, hands gripping the hilt of his sword.

"Kaeya..." You whisper.

Is he going to stab you? He probably will. Well at least he'd look hot doing it— You note as you closed your eyes waiting for your impending death and letting sleep wash over, but for some reason it never came. Instead you felt shaky hands wrap around your figure before being gently lifted from the the ground. With a whisper of reassurance from the man, you started to move. Then everything went dark.

'What?'

This is heavily inspired by various SAGAU writers! : @nicebonescomrade , @i-put-the-yan-in-polyandry , @myuni-moon , @vibingindark and many more.