#and mentally im just very much not gendered at all

[adhderall]

well as you can see besides being ugly as all fuck I'm also extremely bitter so that doesn't help at all in making me appealing. but it also comes with the territory you see, being treated as a hideous freak of nature for your whole life kind of does things to your psyche.

also going into shit in the tags as an extreeeemely jaded individual who's been on every side of the discourse and KNOWS it all VERY PERSONALLY so I know many people will find all sorts of different reasons to hate me (if they want ig) because I'm ~politically homeless~ at this point because I'm sick and tired of everything but whatever

(also fuck I ran out of space in the tags so another post maybe idk. )

[smilepaint]

anyway the concept of passing is a scam. we will never be liberated until the idea that a trans person's inherent value and worth and validity is directly proportional to their resemblance to a cis person. and i say this not just to those who struggle to or do not fit into that box, but to those who very much do and are counting themselves lucky.

the same way that its unhealthy and unreasonable to expect a same gender couple to conform to notions of what a heterosexual family should be, its unhealthy and unreasonable to have to expect a transgender experience of identity and a transgender body to conform to a cisgender ideal. not only does it further the marginalisation of trans people and drive a wedge in our community, but it's an unhealthy way to see the world and relate to yourself. its not fair to expect a human being to go their whole life in states of checking the value of their body and their life against a societally imposed, often unattainable model that may not even reflect their own desires or goals.

it's tough, i know how tough it is to go against everything you've been taught, and the right to seek medical intervention to reshape ourselves in a way that deepens and solidifies our connection to our bodies is and will always be important. but for your own mental health, whatever shape you take must reflect yourself first. not a cis persons. transition is about making a home out of the body you're living in, in whatever way works for you.

you deserve the mental freedom that comes with removing "passing" from your emotional radar entirely. trans bodies are good bodies.

[yikes-ajax]

Was stimming so hard I genuinely worried I managed to break my own neck for a second

[irlkenku]

im gonna dress up as danger days gerard way for a ‘dress as ur queer awakening’ halloween party and even just trying on parts of the outfit is so so good for whatever the fuck gender im doing rn

[toastsnaffler]

okaaaayyy finally watched I saw the tv glow :^)

[iscratchdoors]

i know this is the trans website and im preaching to the choir here but there is something to be said about the medical gatekeeping around transition being largely based on the idea that transitioning medically is the risky, dangerous option, while denying that transition to people actively seeking it is safe and harmless. all the medical professionals i've dealt with so far seem to understand the harm that comes to a cis person who mistakenly transitions and makes irreversible changes to their body, but the idea that that same suffering is also experienced by trans people who have not yet been allowed to transition, to a greater degree even, seems basically non existent. a cis person's ideal gendered appearance is treated as a thing inherently worth protecting and maintaining, while that of a trans person is treated as something they deliberately chose to pursue and don't actually need. the harm that comes to a trans person through putting off any sort of medical (and as a consequence, legal) transition is a thing that does not exist to these people. only the harm that comes to people who regret it is deemed worth considering. that's been my experience anyway

[fauustic]

late night bubble bath

((oh yeah the brainrot has hit HARD!!! IM IN LOVE!!! please send me asks / requests about miguel o’hara i might just melt ...))

gender-nonconforming reader x miguel “spider-man 2099″ o’hara

comfort, fluff. a needy miguel who is just a big kitty.

warnings: mention of wounds, very little blood. taking care of him after a night of insomnia. use of spanish pet names, yet a translator helped me because my spanish isn’t the best. lmk if i missed anything!

word count: 3027

A sigh escapes your lips as you shakily grasp the cup of water along your bedside table. You weren't one to have intense insomnia, yet the anxiety bubbling within your gut served as a painful reminder that you haven't been blessed with a moment of shuteye.

Was it something you had forgotten? You ran through a mental checklist that consisted of taking after Miguel's late nights, and not a single chore was unfinished.

Leftovers for dinner could be found neatly packed away in the place he always checks in the fridge, so there was no need for your love returning from work hungry and tired. Today's laundry was already fluffed and ironed, which will make it easier to begin the upcoming morning. Miguel mentioned off-handedly to you how an important board meeting at his lab had been stressing him out, so you couldn't help but surprise him when he got back home even if it was just prepared outfits.

You leaned back against your pillow before rolling towards Miguel's side of your queen sized bed. You felt so jumpy, your hands itching to do anything. Nights like these you craved Miguel's presence tenfold, as he would be snuggled right in your arms, smoothing the stress out from the tips of your fingers through a careful massage. You could remember the sleepy rambles he'd murmur into the air over the ambience of the television, "Pasar tiempo contigo, brillante. Encantador. Mi pequeño amor. Could bask in your presence always, mi conejito." Miguel would whisper into your ears with a cute sleepiness, peppering your jaw with his lips. It's almost as if he was right beside you, brushing his thumb against your skin as he held your hands.

Thinking so fondly of your boyfriend's habits soothed the anxiety of your insomnia as you tried to remind yourself that he always stays safe and remembers you love him. Once coming home for the first time from work, he can't help but smother you in kisses and silly pet names, showering you in soft reminders of how much love and affection he has for you. And then the second time of the night, he'd do the same thing under different circumstances. It had happened the night before, and it'll happen again. 

Miguel, soft groans escaping his bruised lips, would come through the balcony of your shared apartment that stored your little collection of flowers and greenery, slip through the door you always made sure to crack, and wake you up in the dead of the night to be bandaged and treated by your caring touch with hushed pleas. Whispering sweet things, neediness in every touch. "I missed you, cariño. Been waiting to see your pretty face all day, can I kiss you? P-please, let me kiss you." 

And so you did, resting your fingers on his shoulders and slowly trailing up until they cupped his bloodied face by the jaw. Then, you'd painstakingly kiss him until his blood would mix with spit, his fangs desperately wanting to sink into your tongue. 

Getting so caught up in your little dream, the blaring of a shrill beeping car down below your apartment startled you. Interrupting the glass upon your lips, it spilled onto your nightgown with a gasp.

"Fuck.." you mumbled to yourself, missing your boyfriend more than ever. Changing in a rush, you pulled over one of his flimsy lounge shirts over your head to bask in his smell as a reminder of his presence.

Nueva York was a city that didn't sleep, as the chatter of passersby rang through busy traffic. Bars down below thrived under the limelight, people not in their right mind hid in the shadows of skyscrapers. 

You wondered what Miguel could be doing right now. Scouting the vibrant lights as his claws dug into the beam of a building? Knocking someone senseless under the conditions of justice? Saving a civilian as they fall from great heights? 

Wondering made you sick, the anxiety bubbling in your stomach as if you were the one downing margaritas and cocktails in a scummy bar down below. You needed to distract yourself. So you did anything an adult on a late night would do.

So when you finally came to your senses, you slapped a flour dusted hand over your mouth and groaned.

Apron tied to your waist, hair in a loose bun– nothing too serious, in fact you appreciated how this style still kept your androgynous but still staying practical. Wisps of hair straying from the hold would cloud your vision every now and then, which you'd have to blow out of the way subconsciously while preparing the whipped frosting. The TV, distantly able to still be heard from the living room, echoed quietly through the apartment with an ambience that lulled you to a calm. It was the news, you couldn't help yourself due to late night paranoia, but your hands were busy and your attention was snatched away from your beloved creation.

You've truly outdone yourself this time, you decide as you watch the oven in front of you with an exhausted gaze and a yawn. The kitchen was messy with egg residue and splashes of water and vinegar oil, the clock on the microwave read "2:49" in the morning. It was a kind of chaos you normally wouldn't find yourself to, as Miguel loved a schedule, a routine. It wasn't as if he didn't want you to have your fun, far from that, he simply just loved doing whatever was eventful with you. And you couldn't help but find baking amusing as you observed the small cakes in the shaped pans inflate as time went on.

You found yourself in the middle of your small apartment kitchen floor, sleepily peering into the oven until that sleepiness shifted into fully dozing off. It couldn't be helped, crashing so hard after pulling off a mission to pump out more than a dozen cupcakes, half chocolate batter and the rest strawberry flavoring. Thankfully, you were able to stay awake long enough to take the cakes out to cool, but as soon as the oven made the beep to turn off– the couch was the closest thing to fall into a needed rest.

It's hard to know how long you had exactly fallen asleep for, yet the frantic arms encompassing your form must have been any kind of indicator. It was a startle to wake from, as your mouth couldn't keep quiet before your brain began working. 

"Eeugh! I- God Miguel, you scared me so badly–" You heaved into his shoulder as he practically slumped on top of you, whispering his usual panicky tangents he'd spew after returning from his late nights. 

"Lo siento, lo siento mucho." Miguel buried his face into your neck, nose pushing against your pulse. "Would never purposely scare you, mi lucero del alba. But not seeing you in bed, that made me feel… not like myself." Miguel confessed with a shaky breath and a pause, breathing in the floury smell and just you, swearing a purr erupted from his throat. "Would have fallen on the floor of our apartment if you weren't here, in my arms.  "Te necesito más que al propio aire, baby."

A subtle smile peeked through his tone despite the desperation, the longing in his touch. His forearms pushed against your back ever so slightly, reminding himself that you're here. That you're safe. His hands met your sides, thumbs circling in a soothing motion. You knew it calmed him down to trace shapes within your skin, but you wouldn't be lying if you said you loved the burn of his touch when he isn't even truly doing anything on purpose. It was as if the warmth of his finger tips ignited into flames, searing his touch into you. You'll never be able to forget each circle, heart, or even a very rare star traced into your skin, accompanying every freckle or birthmark you have. Every part of you is adored, loved, cherished. 

"I'm going to be here, waiting for you. No matter where you are or where I have to be."

"I hope so." Miguel hummed, "If anything happens to you," His claws found themselves underneath his shirt that you wore to bed that night, trailing your sides like handing a delicate doll. "Tengo miedo de lo que pueda hacerles. For you I'd do anything." 

His body didn't feel suffocating to be lying beneath, as he cradled the both of you to be meeting halfway. It was heartwarming, being clung to like a teddy bear by a man who's trying to hold up an entire city with his own two hands.

You realized his suit was only partially off, head uncovered as well as part of his chest– the suit clung to his waist like a lifeline. Needing to see his soft little smile that he held so selfishly against your neck, you led his face to be held over yours. A soft whine escaped his lips, missing the warmth your neck provided, but a quick hush quieted himself easily.

"Don't act like a sad puppy, my love." You whispered into his lips, breath fanning an old cut just underneath. Inspecting the damage, Miguel's eyes fluttered shut as you smoothed over the stress lines between his eyebrows. Not too rough today, expect a few cuts and bruises. So in your terms and conditions, today may even be considered a great day. "Aww, look at you. You did so well today, didn't you?" Awarding him with a kiss, Miguel melted into you like a weighted blanket.

Both hands cupping his jaw, you held him there for a long while, relishing in the moments of peace and quiet with him. Peppering quick, feathery kisses over his lips and gliding over cheekbones and freckles upon the nose, kissing the stress line you smoothed out, before doing the routine all over again. You strayed, always did– couldn't resist his alluring features and soft pleas to continue kissing him. 

Miguel isn't always so docile. Some nights he'd storm into your bedroom in a trance of pent-up frustration and stress with bruising kisses and bites that took home amongst hidden skin. But most nights, he could be handled like putty. It was an adorable sight to see, as his fangs peeked through his plush lips from the tension going slack in his jaw.

Your lips finally met his for the first time that night, yet it wasn't heated or filled with ulterior motives. Miguel's mouth met yours, and he lazily tasted every inch of your mouth, grazing his fangs against your tongue by accident. He needed to know every inch of you, and remind himself a hundred times over.

"Miggy.." you mumbled between his kisses, and happiness dripped from your voice as he barely let out a "mm?" Separating for just a moment, he decided to simply nuzzle your hand as a substitute.

"Let me run you a bath."

This sparked his attention, a quirk of the eyebrow and a stare of disbelief. "Eh?" Miguel chuckled stiffly, his nuzzles coming to an abrupt end. "¿Qué piensas de mí, un niño pequeño? I'm no toddler." By his response, he hasn't heard such things in ages. But as you slipped away from underneath his grasp, you padded towards your shared bathroom without a word. He was the one to bicker, but once the plan was in motion Miguel couldn't help but abide with a light begrudge in his step.

"The little cakes can wait, honey. Don't try to use those as an argument to get out of this." Your words would come out as a scold to anyone else, but as you turned to start the water it was clear you simply just cared. Too much for your own good. "Let me just do this for you, I missed you today." You admitted. 

"It's too late for this still, cariño." He groaned with a tint of guilt as you started helping him undress. "I'll just shower, go on. Vete a dormir." Yet he did not swat away your advancements to prepare a towel, nor even the drop of bubble bath mix in the water. Miguel looked at you like a deer in headlights, mouth agape as you did so.

"I added the bubble bath formula only because you told me to sleep." You said deadpan, grabbing the suit that's fallen to the floor to hang it on the rack. Miguel's expressions contorted to annoyed, then shocked, to just downright amused of your antics that always had him guessing. He cackled as you kept yourself busy, until you finally signaled to get in.

It was as if you tried to get a cat in the water, as he stared at the mountain of bubbles that rivalled the skies. "I'm not getting in. I can't lose the rest of my dignity." This time, his tone was solid– nothing sounded as if it could get through to him. But you could read your boyfriend like a book, solve him like a puzzle in a matter of seconds. 

"Miggy, my love. My other half. My everything." You cooed, dropping to your knees to poke at the bubbles. "You don't get in this forsaken bathtub with just the right warmth and the bubbles I made with my own blood, sweat and tears, you will sleep on the couch until I give you explicit permission to lay with me." His scarlet eyes glowed with genuine fear in his eyes. "And then, you will just lie with me. You would not be able to hold my hands or waist or twirl your finger around my hair– you will be in timeout. No bed, no holding–"

A splash interrupted your words, wetting your legs as his size struggled to stay in the tub. His arm hung out of the side as his feet kicked up on the tile walls, and he looked as flustered as ever. "No me lo puedo creer." Miguel blew at the bubbles that settled on his face. "I'm no dog who needs a bath, cariño." 

Shaking your head at his rare childish antics, you leaned over the tub to kiss the bubbles upon his nose. It was a sweet, domestic little moment between the two of you.

Small little scars littered his form as you glided a soft wash cloth over the grime of the city that washed off onto him. When the fabric slid over a sensitive muscle or wound, he'd hiss a curse and a "be gentle with me, love." You only responded with a lick into his mouth, which earned you a bite to your lips. "I'm not trying to hurt you, just wanna take care of you, my angel." You whispered into the bubbles, shuffling your knees the closest you can to the tub without falling into it– and massaged the tension in his shoulders.

This elicited a groan to rip through the bathroom walls, a low rumble that he couldn't contain to himself following. Miguel was like a domesticated tiger, all bark and bite yet the rare moments of silly tenderness peeking through his rough exterior. "Ah, that feels–" Miguel hisses again in pleasure, his brain short circuiting under your graze. ".. increíble. Tú eres mi medicina." 

His forearm hanging off the side of the tub twisted to bring his grasp to your face, locking the both of you into a heated kiss, one that stored the unspoken words of lonely nights as Miguel's shifts grew longer and more tiresome. "Missed you, baby. I need you, need you always with me. Wouldn't know what to do without you, I'd go crazy." He rambled as one of your soap filled hands snaked into his hair, to lather his curls and simultaneously scratch where he loves. 

It was an endearing sight whenever Miguel openly expressed his adoration of you, both his thoughts and worries.

"I love you more, Miguel." You giggled as his nose scrunched together at the abrupt sensation of water cascading over his head, the bubbles falling from the softness of his hair and down the ridges of his jaw and nose.

Silence comfortably enveloped the two of you as you rinsed him off, scattering kisses on his skin whenever he mumbled declarations of affection.

As you wrapped his curls in a soft, small towel, his sleepy grumble of a question caught your attention. "What about your little sweets, mi amor? Do you need me to help you finish them?"

Laughing, you shook your head only to shush him softly. "No, no baby. Let's just do it together tomorrow once you get some rest." Leading him to stand, you began draining the tub. 

Miguel didn't argue with the idea of that, purring softly as he imagined the two of you frosting little delicacies– something incredibly cozy and lovely. He loved that about you, the way you reminded him about his own humanity, the little hanging reminder that he needs his own time to help to heal and thrive. 

"All done, baby." You slid your arms around his waist, resting your head against his chest with a sigh. The towel hung around his waist was as soft as the fleece of a sheep, lulling you into the serene sleepiness your body craved to have. "How was your bubble bath?" The words tumbled from your lips as Miguel led the both of you to your shared bed, tucking you into the bundle of blankets scattering about. 

Before long, he slid into the opposite side with his own sigh of relief. Your hands grabbed at his now clothed chest, peeking at his exhausted, but content expression staring right back at your own. "Perfect, mi conejito." Miguel whispered with honesty, bringing you closer than ever as his breath fanned the crook of your neck.

Sleep began to take you as the strong scent of bubblegum flooded your senses, the slightly damp curls of Miguel tickling your neck and cheek. He intertwined his soul with yours, purring with a calm he could only achieve with you.

"Cupcakes tomorrow?" You murmured into his shoulder, soft and sleepy.

"Cupcakes tomorrow, cariño." A kiss to your neck. "Dulces sueños, goodnight."

[genderkoolaid]

I feel like you would get this, seeing this comment section kinda hurt. The OP they are responding to is a non-binary trans man who was talking about feeling uncomfortable because they still feel attraction to lesbians and have felt very excluded. He’s wary around certain lesbians because they center their ideology around hating men regardless of gender identity and has faced a lot of anti-transmasculinity and transmisogyny. While most lesbians are wonderful amazing people there’s no denying that some do hold an innate hatred for men, not saying they need to like men. I fully understand lesbians and predatory cis men but there’s definitely lesbians who would date trans men. It can be scary for a trans man to come out or start transitioning because at what point do they become too masculine or too much of a man for their friends. There were even people in the comments saying the same anti-man statements who identify as a he/him nonbinary lesbian. This topic is very hard to hear for me as a closeted genderfluid person because my best friend is a man hating lesbian and I dread the day I can actually begin transitioning and she turns her back on me like these people. Queer spaces in general can be hard to occupy as a multi gendered person because of those people as well as mlm/nblm spaces that say ‘fem aligned dni’. In general I don’t think we should police labels and everyone has their own interpretation and I think labels are just a suggestion anyway but I suppose that makes sense for a genderfluid bisexual person.

These people just straight up do not understand the gender diversity that has always existed in lesbian spaces (by which I mean spaces built & catering to queer women & those seen as women).

There have always been trans men in lesbian spaces. You aren't obligated to fuck them, but they have always been there. There are pages and pages of writing out there not only by trans male dykes, but by the lesbian cis women who love them and still identify as lesbians while in relationships with them. There are trans guys at dyke bars right now as we speak having a great time.

Its not surprising to me that there are he/him NB lesbians supporting this. There are a lot of people out there who, because they don't identify As Men, mentally distance themselves from those who do despite any similarities. It's okay for THEM to be lesbians, and it's transphobic to erase THEIR lesbianism because they are Non-Men™! but once you cross that line you become the enemy. It's very "no you gyns I'm TOTALLY different than those gross tbros i promise im not a man at all and i will never want to be one so im allowed in the club!" The same people also throw multigender people under the bus. Trying to figure out your nonbinary in this environment is hellish (I speak from experience) because people pretend like they are super accepting of nonbinary people, until you realize that if you ever think of yourself as even slightly male people will start seeing you as a predatory invader trying to Force Lesbians To Date Men! Very "complex gender for me but not for thee"

Anyways. Twitter is not a good place. Anon, I hope you find better friends. Not every queer space is this hostile to us, I promise. There are people out there who genuinely work to make our community better and I hope you find them.

[inosukijiro]

𝗖𝗨𝗗𝗗𝗟𝗘𝗦 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗚𝗜𝗬𝗨𝗨

𝙨𝙮𝙣. ━ its late at night and giyuu feels safe in your arms.

━ 𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙨. i just want to tuck him into bed so bad and give him lil forehead kisses. i won’t stop saying it I LOVE THIS MAN 🗣️🗣️.

━ 𝙖𝙙𝙙𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙨. AHH IM SORRYYY ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚ PLS i went on vacation and got the covid,, it was SO bad i couldn’t function. buuuut moving on — i’ve said it before but ill say it again, thank you soo much for all the love and support ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝ seriously, all the likes and reblogs have me very humble. i only ever write for myself so seeing you all enjoy my little stories make me so happy !!

━ 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨. fluffy fluff. cuddles! probably v short, and v bad omg. gender-neutral reader. giyuu-centric. assumed but not mentioned, modern reader in kny. crochet mention ah! 0.9k words.

It always starts like this when Giyuu can’t think straight. His brain is fuzzy and worn out from the day. He often wonders how he gets into these positions, but he’s aware that you just know him too well. Probably because you do know him better than he knows himself.

He always thinks about the time before it became you and him. Where the thought itched at his brain constantly. He fantasized about it. It was so hard not to in every waking moment, he even wondered if it was going to be the death of him.

But here he was, nose buried in the crevice of your neck, laying onto you just enough that he didn’t crush you; but you’d never complain if he did. His free arm wrapped around your midsection just enough to allow his hand to grip your side. The pads of his fingers barely dig into your skin. You could probably feel the tension in his body, his hands are firm and rigid against you. Perhaps he’s just a bit nervous you’d disappear if he didn’t hold onto you tight enough. He might apologize for that, or the fact that his hair is definitely in your face.

Oh, but you might giggle. He can hear it. It’s soft and light. You're so amused by him sometimes. You might call him silly, or you might not say anything at all. You might give the sensitive part of his scalp a good scratch to shut him up. You might, and you always do. The feeling of your nails dig into his head makes him squeak. The way your fingers brush against the strands of his hair. It’s heavenly. He buries his head deeper because he’s so embarrassed. His face is hot, and after all this time he’s still so touched-starved. The smallest bit of your attention destroys any functioning brain cells he has left.

It’s just so good being in your arms. It’s just as good as when you're in his. It’s rare, but when that happens he loves the weight of you on top of him. It grounds him back down to earth. And you’re so cute. Somehow you always end up holding his hand, holding it close to your chest and nuzzling yourself against him more. He can’t get over that you want to be around him as much as he wants to be around you.

Giyuu lets out a sigh in contentment.

He’s so tired but he’s so excited. It’s not his fault that he views you as perfection and it’s also not his fault for taking advantage of the attention you desperately want to give him. You’re so generous, and Giyuu had been looking forward to this for days. His mission had been taking too long for his liking and he wondered if this was some sick torment the universe enjoyed toying at him with. All he wanted was to be at his estate, with you.

But you were such a night owl and that was something that Giyuu found out pretty quick. You spent more time awake in his presence than he did with you. Giyuu thinks, and he wouldn’t be wrong, that you try to savor as much time as you can with him. It’s true, you wouldn’t deny it. But you had sleeping problems long before being with Giyuu; though, it makes him feel guilty that he somehow makes it worse.

You were crocheting something, as always, trying to tire yourself out mentally. Your hands working on the project were raised just above his face, and your elbow could be found resting against his upper back. It was so soothing, the way he could feel you working your hook in and out of the stitches. And every so often a stray piece of yarn might’ve brushed against his cheek or nose, tickling him ever so slightly.

It felt nice. The way you had him caged in your arms. He felt so protected and Giyuu couldn’t remember the last time he felt so safe.

He doesn’t know what you’re making; but he’s sure whatever it is will be perfect.

One day he’d get you to sleep though. Yes, he’d get you to drift off so peacefully and do the same to bring you just as much comfort that you do for him. He’d play with your hair. He knows you’d like that. He can almost see it now. The cute noises you’d make and the content, sleepy sigh you’d give as he has you wrapped up in his arms.

He’s in and out of sleep now, drifting off for a few minutes at a time. But he really can’t stay awake anymore. Even though he really wants to. He feels you put your crochet things to the side. However, he barely registers the mumble under your breath when the metal hook makes a ‘TINK’ sound when it’s placed.

It wasn’t too loud but it was too loud for you. You apologize, softly whispering to him but honestly, Giyuu doesn’t know what for. It didn’t disturb him, though he doesn’t worry too much about it when you give a little kiss on his forehead.

He snuggles closer, if that is even possible at this point. He’s on auto pilot as you bring the covers up more over the both of you. You tuck the material right up near his chin and the only thought he has is how cruel it was to make him get up tomorrow morning. Maybe you give him a few more kisses. They’re delicate and you even give him a gentle squeeze as you bring your arms around him; a small ‘love you’ is drowsily whispered through your lips as you rest your head on his.

And Giyuu is out, just like that.

thank u for reading, luv u (◍•ᴗ•◍)

[sopuu]

Imma be real for a second and say I love the way Jesse has scars on your art??? Love it when someone gives a character who's been through a lot of physical (and mental) trauma some kind of scar. It just emphasizes to me that they went through that. And the effects of that stay with them.

Sorry I'm rambling

Tldr mmm scar art prettyyyy

exactly!! jesse’s gone through so much that i’d be surprised if he didn’t have any scars. and i like to think he’s confident enough to show them off not as injuries to his body but as a part of who he is, like a collection of experiences and battles he’s overcome. hence why i have his sleeves rolled up most of the time (and also rolled sleeves…so gender…)

he’s got a bunch of other scars i never get to show off so here’s some scar headcanons as a treat! i wanted to give each major one a backstory so it’s not just there for aesthetics. the others are normal battle scars tho

ramblings about the f-bomb scar and the face scar under the cut bc there’s a lot oops. ty for the ask!

can we talk about the damage the f-bomb did to him in game. or the lack of damage even. because there’s no way this man got out of a close explosion from the strongest bomb with ONLY ringing ears for a few seconds?? not that im complaining i’m glad he’s okay bfjkfh

either the order’s armour is made of impressively strong cloth and metal or minecraft block people are very tolerant to damage. although the logical explanation would probably be the damage can’t be shown realistically within the limitations of a minecraft game (not just on the pg side of things but also they are. made of a few pixels) idk it’s something interesting to think about lore/game development wise

if it weren’t for canon depictions i’d probably have the scar cover half of his body,, but i like keeping designs close to canon depictions so a big shoulder scar it is! i had it cover more of his back since he turns when being fished down to try and shield himself

as for the face scar! i’ve debated for a long time whether to have that as the origin bc i thought it was too cruel but it stayed in the end- it’s probably the hardest one he’s had to overcome despite it being the smallest major scar. every time he looks in the mirror he’s reminded of how he failed reuben. how can it be that he only gets a small scrape while his best friend loses his life? all because of jesse’s mistakes?

some OLD art incoming so shield your eyes but these are a few doodles exploring that! i was also testing the f-bomb scar on the face for funsies

eventually though, as he learns to accept his many scars he comes to see this one as a mark of the turning point of his life, both the good and the bad, and how much reuben and jesse meant to each other that they faced the world’s end together, knowing full well of the consequences. in a sense he carries reuben’s memory through that scar :]

anyways this is so long i’ll shut up now LOL

[lotties-ashwagandha]

how the yellowjackets would react to you being sick (headcanons)

i wrote these forever ago when i had the flu and they got lost in my drafts enjoyyyy gender neutral reader i think but taissa does reference her partner as her wife. also if the pics on this don’t format right (theyre supposed to be 3 in a row and then the header) pls tell me sometimes it fucks up :(

SHAUNA

sees you sneeze once and runs to the store for cold medicine with the fervor of middle aged preppers fist fighting for toilet paper in 2020

she would do or get absolutely anything you wanted, would go and buy takeout food from your favorite restaurants or make sure you’re comfortable wherever you’re situated

will make sure you’re taking whatever medicine you need, whether it’s just over the counter cough medicine or it’s something prescribed by a doctor. you can’t put up a fight with her about it bc you’ll never win. she gets so intense about it but it’s ultimately for your good and you know that

also just likes to hold you. she cancels whatever plans she has and you lay and watch movies together — she might not like everything you pick to watch but she’ll put up with anything to make you feel a bit better. as for the close proximity of holding you, she doesn’t care if she gets sick because she knows you’ll take care of her once you’re better in the same way she cared for you. plus i’d imagine her immune system is of fucking steel after having a baby in the wilderness???? no germs are getting on this woman ok and ykw that probs goes for all of them they probably have some fucked up forest girl immunity or smthn idk im not a doctor don’t come at me

LOTTIE

she’ll never admit it ever but at first she gets kind of excited because she’s been waiting for someone to fall ill so she can try out a new herbal remedy

but then she sees how upset you are and how much discomfort you’re in and feels guilty

anyway rich girl lottie is averse to germs and when you first get sick she handles you a bit like you’re a giant jellyfish someone’s trying to throw at her , she wants to help you but girl has a whole wellness center to run she is not getting sick

until she caves and you’re cuddled in bed together watching movies because she can’t keep away from you

she lets you watch whatever you want while you’re sick , but she does get a bit bored sometimes when you’re asleep so she flips the channel to nature documentaries. she’ll flip it back to whatever you were watching immediately after you wake up tho, and yes of course she was watching your horror movies instead of bird watching shows go back to sleep

she also cooks for you while you’re sick — probably not very well, but she won’t allow anyone else cooking for you because she wants to make sure you’re eating quality food that will help you get better and not just anything you could pick up

she gets very protective over you and over your health in general and won’t allow anyone to come bother you, if you work outside the wellness center she makes sure your bosses aren’t being bitches about you being sick and she ensures everything’s in order to her standards

TAISSA

panics because she has absolutely no idea what to do when you get sick, probably googles “what to do when your wife is sick” and follows the wikihow

she’ll take a few days off work for once to look after you, it doesn’t seem like a big deal but it is to you because she hardly ever takes time off from the campaign

she’s very stereotypical in the way she takes care of you — she’ll make you chicken noodle soup, get you blankets, everything she knows is the “standard” of taking care of someone with a cold but she works so hard to make sure everything’s perfect for you

she knows you’re miserable so she’ll try to make you laugh when you’re sick. telling you stupid jokes, funny stories from work, anything she can think of. your body is down but she won’t let your mental health go down with it especially if you already struggle with mental health

might offer you some dirt and a spot in her tree if you’re lucky

VAN

knows you’re sick before you do it’s some psychic ass shit she just KNOWS

you sneeze once and she’s like “oh I bought you some cold medicine earlier” like ??? girl ok whatever

she usually loves to make you watch her old dvds and tapes but when you’re feeling bad she puts on a marathon of your favorite movies

she buys you a lot of sweets. she’d be one of those “chocolate fixes everything” girls and whenever she would go out to buy you something she would come back with some sort of treat for you

she lets your rant about being sick if you’re one of those people who get grumpy when you get sick, she wants you to trust her and feel safe enough to express your distress

NATALIE

i think we all know natalie isn’t the best person in health and wellness situations but she does make it fun to be sick at least !

raids the vending machine for you

will probably google how to take care of you like taissa , but thinks the instructions are too long and gives up

will probably call misty and make her bring over whatever medicine you’d need because she knows she’ll fuck it up picking it out herself

she’s silent on the bed for an hour and then announces “i made you a spotify playlist” out of the blue. it has like 5 songs on it but they’re all very very very meticulously selected and she’s so proud of it, she knows it cant help you get better physically but hopes it will make you happy

warns you not to get her sick as if it’s something you can control. looks at you so sternly and goes “don’t. don’t get me sick.” it makes you roll your eyes

MISTY

she’s been waiting for this day her whole life tbh not in a creepy way but in a loving “i want to take care of you” way

will do absolutely everything to make sure you’re comfortable when you’re sick, she would kill for you (she would anyway but especially when you’re not feeling well)

knows a bunch of get better health hacks from all the reddit forums she’s stalked over the years and only half of them work but it shows that she cares

tries to search amazon to see if there’s a little covid mask she can get caligula “just in case”

she makes you watch true crime documentaries with her and narrates every episode and then gives you all her hot takes afterwards. you can’t escape and she takes advantage of it

[roach-master]

my personal theory about Vox’s death

cw: discussion of mental illness, transphobia/homophobia, typical 1950s shit

also i am very tired rn so this might be confusing as hell xD

So Vox died aged 30-40s, during the 1950s. I’m going to start this off by saying that if Vox was a fit young man in those times, he likely would have been drafted into WW2. Now you could say he died then, but the war ended in 1945.

So my first assumption is he was deemed unfit (due to mental illness or the fact that he is bisexual), or he is a transgender man (that’s mostly me projecting, though).

For the sake of this I’m just gonna say it went both ways.

I think during life vox was a television broadcaster of some sort. Since WW2 opened up opportunities for more genders to work, he could still have been quite famous.

However, he was also greedy, selfish, a huge attention seeker, and overall pretty unhinged. He might have gone and tried to kill someone who he saw as a rival. And that, along with how queer people were treated, could have easily gotten him thrown into a mental institution.

Now, asylums in the 1950s were absolutely awful. They were overcrowded, the patients were experimented on, etc. just generally NOT where you wanted to be back then.

They used (and still use, although it’s much safer now) a treatment called electro convulsive therapy (ECT). During these times though, they were unmodified, which is now considered unethical. Now, ECT is a treatment that involves essentially shocking the brain, forcing a seizure. My theory is he died from that, and thus ended up in Hell.

I think this would explain his general paranoia, and need to keep his true, more evil personality secret. He clearly tries to appeal to the public as much as possible and fears imperfection. He doesn’t show his true side, not even to his apparently closest friends. He’s scared of being seen as crazy.

Vox is incredibly smart. He knows that nobody in Hell is a good person (Fuck, he would probably use that as an excuse on why he doesn’t need to genuinely change. He’s still evil, after all.) but he’s terrified of what might happen if he doesn’t present himself as perfect. People might reject him, and of course he doesn’t want that. He craves attention, his worst fear is being worthless, irrelevant, and tossed away like nothing. Just like he was before he died.

But that’s just a theory. A VOX THEORY (im sorry)

[bomber-grl]

hello i love your fics so much omg 😭 can i request a damian x male reader fic where reader is like really feminine and maybe crossdresses? hc’s or a fic like im okay with anything 🫶🏻

Damian x Fem!Crossdresser!Reader ❤︎

Pairing(s): Damian Wayne x Male reader

Honestly? I know you’d hate to hear but Damian is Damian and is sort of weirded out when he finds out

What does he find out? That you’re actually a guy

Then he sorta applauds you mentally for being brave and challenging gender norms

He can be pretty judgmental but honestly he doesn’t even care after a while

You’re a guy that likes to be feminine

Nothing wrong with that and if anything Damian is just non chalant about the whole thing

So let’s go to when you guys start to date

It’s pretty amusing for him since whenever you go out to eat and the server refers to you with feminine terms he just says “yea, my boyfriend would love that”

Emphasizing the “boyfriend” part

Then he watches the server walk away awkwardly and although its mean, what can he say?

It’s in his nature, unfortunately

Your crossdressing doesn’t really interfere with normal like unless you meet new people that doesn’t know you’re a guy and Damian takes advantage of

But we’ve already been through that

Many people are surprised when they hear the Damian Wayne is in a relationship

He’s hardly a romantic

Well, that’s not entirely true

Because if that was the case, then why would Damian passionately support your fashion and style by buying you new things

Even going as far as going to the mall with you and lending you his card to please you?

Sure he’s acting all emo and non chalant but that blush dusted on his face ain’t hiding shit

Not to mention how he’s weirdly involved in helping you incorporate weapons (if you’re a hero/vigilante of sorts) into your outfits

He opens up more eventually and thoughtfully gifts you matching accessories without embarrassment

If you’re more leaning towards making your garments and accessories then Damian makes sure to get you fabrics and supplies that you’d like

Eventually it leads to Damian helping you out while over explaining what he’s doing as an attempt to help you

Who knew Damian could sew

And the whole ordeal was a bit of an excuse to make matching bracelets

All in all, he doesn’t really mind it at all and it’s just a everyday thing that’s parts of you

But then one day he arrives at the manor and given the heads up that you’re there in his room awaiting him

He heads up non suspecting when he really should’ve been suspecting

Because you had proposed dressing him up in your hyper feminine style this time rather than it being you

He’s a bit opposed

Only because of the time it’ll take, he’ll have to shower, and the risk of anyone seeing and taking a pic

But you’re his boyfriend so he can’t resist

And so ensues a 3 hour session of you dressing up Damian in makeup and various pieces of clothing that you brought with you for him to try on

It isn’t until he’s looking himself in the mirror that he hears a very audible click

He whipped around and It was just you taking a pic

And so he let out a breath of relief

Which one could argue was wayyy too early because then he hears giggles from the door and he knows it’s those two childish bafoons

(It was obviously Tim and Jason, they never had anything to do)

And so Damian is struggling to get them to delete it, to stop teasing him about it and how far he’d go for you, and so on

Eventually he gives up of course but in the end it was really nice to get to share your interests with your boyfriend

Besides these interactions he’s his usual self and wouldn’t have cared less

But you’re dating and there’s no way you’re getting the short end of the stick with Damian

[korinpie]

Hii, how you doing?

Could I request headcanons about Fade being jealous?

Thank you 🖤

♡fade and reyna jealousy headcanons♡

♡thank you for the request! since you didn't specify the gender, ill make the reader gender neutral. and since this is the first ever request, i threw in our favorite girlie reyna for fun. again, thank you sooo much! let me know if anyone would like a part two with other characters♡

♡cw: mentions of alcohol and one use of they/them pronouns in reyna's part♡

♡word count: 1350 in total♡

I begin by prefacing this: Fade is SO insecure

She is convinced that you're an actual angel sent down from heaven, one that's somehow taken interest in her and graced her with your love

Pretty much thinks you're way too good for her

I mean she has murdered countless people and resurfaced trauma in several agents thinking they killed her friend

So the fact that anyone especially you would like her makes her feel like she doesn't deserve it

You and her are at a street market when she leaves to go to the bathroom. But when she comes back, she finds someone else in her place- hooking an arm around yours

When someone is flirting with her beloved, she gets pretty damn uncomfortable

The response is either "wtf they're flirting with my partner!" or "im going to kill them"

Will probably shift from one foot to another wondering what to do

She's not very good at socializing, being more of a 'fight now, talk later' person

And the more the person comes closer to you and talks dirty, she genuinely considers sicing her prowler on whoever decided flirt with you

But no: it's not right to attack someone just like that

Also it's broad daylight, and she would get caught

But she can't just do nothing, considering your anxious expression

Instead, she walks up to whoever's bothering you, attempting to be as stoic as possible(she wants to die on the inside)

"Ahem- excuse me," Fade interrupts the stranger's tangent of pick up lines. Said stranger stops, looking nervous as Fade stands in between you and the random person.

"Hi there," The stranger smiles tightly. "Sorry, I was just talking to my- um- dear friend here. Nothing to worry about."

Fade looks at the stranger coldly, before glancing over at you. Her cat-like eyes soften upon seeing you, her lips involuntarily lifting into a smile. She rests a comforting hand on your shoulder. "Do you know this person?"

You shake your head no, leaning away from the stranger. That's all Fade needs to know as she turns back to the unknown person- glaring at them with an intensity that could bring a hundred men to their knees.

"Hey, hey now," The stranger grimaces, stepping back a bit. He sweats at Fade's not-so-happy expression. "I'm just shooting my shot, ok? Can't help it."

Fade scoffs, reaching up to pinch the skin between her eyebrows. This conversation has gone on far too long.

"Don't worry, I'll back off if you need me to! I get it, friends supporting friends, d-"

"This is my significant other."

The stranger pales and their eyes widen cartoonishly large. You gawk, shuffling over to Fade to whisper: "How did they not...?"

"Kingdom be damned if I know," Fade mutters. She looks at the stranger, blowing a strand of hair from her face. "Leave. And next time you see us, don't even look in my partner's direction. If you do, you'll regret it."

The stranger squeaks and scurries away, metaphorical tail between their legs. Fade sighs, her shoulders beginning to relax. She's relieved that she doesn't have to be such an uncomfortable conversation anymore. Then, she turns to you, her expression tense and focused.

"You ok?"

You pause, albeit a little hesitant. Fade notices the way you sort of shrink, making her frown. “Yeah. Can we go back home now?”

Fade places a comforting hand on your cheek, betraying her rough exterior. “Of course.”

Despite the fact that she already asked, Fade continues to check on you, making sure that you're doing alright physically and mentally

It's her own way of showing she cares, since she's not that great at just telling you

When both of you are safe, back at home, you notice her still tense demeanor

She’s still worried about the incident of course- thoughts swirling around in her mind

Fade can't imagine why you've chosen to stay with her all this time, in her mind

You're just so...bright and warm to her, like sunshine

She truly believes she doesn't deserve you

And what if you leave her for someone else? What if she's left alone again?

She's still at heart just a girl who really loves her partner

Fade needs a little bit of love and reassurance- something to show her that you won't just up and leave her

The two of you end up cuddled up on the couch, blankets covering both of you and your head laying on Fade's shoulder

You're watching a crappy movie from the 80s <3

Reyna doesn't exactly get jealous, per say

She knows that you love her and cherish her more than anything- so she doesn't feel like someone's going to sweep you away

Besides, what kind of person would choose someone else over Reyna?

Someone probably very dumb and stupid that's who

Rather than be jealous, Reyna just really doesn't like people touching her s/o

It feels wrong, sort of like a stranger in her territory, as possessive as it sounds(but she is pretty possessive honestly)

Especially if the stranger knows that you two are dating, it feels like a bratty jab against her

When in reality it's more or less a friendly gesture

The agents are having a celebration party, and Chamber with his ever-flowing money brought drinks for everyone

Thus a problem arises- a chaotic party with drunk agents and radiants

While you're partying away, Reyna sits in the corner relaxing on a couch. She chats with one or two agents and nurses a cup of tequila, because who is she to pass on free alcohol?

The entire time she steals glances at you, either to make sure you're ok or just stare shamelessly at your figure

Meanwhile, your friend Jett is flat-out wasted

When she's drunk, she tends to be pretty clingy- so while you offer to take her to her room, Jett slings an arm around your shoulders and holds on to your arm, laughs and giggles slipping out from her

Reyna is not very happy about that

On one hand, you can take care of yourself. On the other hand, someone is touching her partner and she will not stand for it

She downs the rest of her tequila and approaches the two of you

"Reyna," You say as Reyna comes over. "Hi- I'm just taking Jett to her room."

"I don't want to go!" Jett giggles, clinging to your arm tightly. She's clearly drunk, pink-cheeked and all.

Reyna scoffs. "And you couldn't let someone else do it?"

"I'm the only one who offered! I don't want her passed out on the ground."

Reyna proceeds to grab Jett, roughly pulling her away from you. Jett whines in response, looking up at Reyna. "Hey! That hurt!"

She rolls her eyes, glaring down at her drunk companion. "Don't touch my partner. They're mine."

Jett grins, clearly not getting the memo. You sigh- Reyna, possessive as always.

"Reyna," You say, tapping your lover's shoulder.

She looks over, lips curled in a smug smile. "Yes, cariño?"

"If you're not gonna let me touch her, at least bring Jett to her room. She needs the rest," You explain.

Reyna's deep purple eyes narrow, and she spits out: "You can call someone else. I'm not carrying her after what she did."

"And what did she do?"

"Touch what is mine," She replies, hmphing. Her gaze drifts to the side, not looking at you.

You laugh at her antics, taking a hold of her arm. "Reyna, she's drunk and likes hugs. I promise she wasn't trying to flirt with me."

Reyna looks down at Jett, who's drunkenly spaced out. "We'll see about that."

"Can you please take Jett to her room? For me?" You ask Reyna, eyelids fluttering. Your hand grips her arm tighter, and she relents.

"Fine," Reyna says, placing a swift kiss on your temple before roughly dragging Jett out of the room. "I expect something nice for this."

"More kisses?" You offer, tilting your head to the side.

"Whatever you decide, cariño."

After she not-so-gently puts Jett to bed, she sits in your room

It's sort of like a dog waiting for its owner, except the dog is a gun-wielding mexican fighting machine

Once you enter, Reyna grumbles something about being late and pulls you in, laying you both down on the mattress

She expects many kisses. Deliver if you will

[rosary-pearls]

Wyll NSFW Thoughts/Headcanons

Because I need him & horny Wyll content is a dark parking lot where only like 16 of us meetup & don't really talk to each other. We should all get some Taco Bell together sometime 

These are mostly top/dom focused & gender neutral (18+ Obvi)

•The first few times you have sex together his focus is on the connection - physical, emotional, mental & spiritual. Introducing yourselves to each other's bodies, and sense of desire. The more fun things would make their way into your bedroom naturally

•Every time you have sex he views it as making love no matter how dirty it is or is not. Because of this he isn't a fan of quickies. Not only does it hinder him from properly lavishing your body with affection, but he loves building anticipation for both of you. He’d make you wait unless you really riled him up somehow, which is more difficult than you think because he has shockingly good self-control

•Wyll is an excellent kisser, it feels like melting into his lips. He looooves kissing and making out for extended periods of time

•I wouldn't say he’s mind blowing at going down on you or using his hands AT FIRST. It’s either been awhile for him or he's a virgin just based off his voicelines. But once he learns how you work he's godly because your pleasure is important to him 

•Missionary is his favorite position because it's intimate (no shock there), cuddlefucking probably second. Wyll likes any position as long as it isn't too convoluted tbh. He thinks overcomplicating it distracts from the moment

•If I had to put a label on it - to me he radiates pleasure dom. He gets off on getting you off. Wyll likes to lead in dance, and in sex - he's just not an aggressive leader. He’d much prefer to lead you with a gentle tug rather than a brutish yank

•The ‘dom’ portion of pleasure dom for him is very subtle & soft - he gives gentle but clear directions, even playful commands. It's rare for him to be stern, but when he is boy is it hot. These usually pertain to whether or not you may come, or if he doesn't want you to touch yourself for an extended period of time - though this is rare & would almost only happen if you're spending time apart 

•Don't think he won't be submissive tho - I think he’d lean towards taking the lead because that's just his personality, and taking care of people makes him feel good. But if you want to take charge he has no issue with that. One of the best/worst things you can do to him is tie him up & touch yourself in front of him. Especially if you make yourself come!! He’s just like 'that's my job >:O’ 

•Not a bratty sub at all, he's the type that wants to do exactly what you say & be praised for how well he behaved. Don't call him your pet tho, it'd remind him of Mizora. Do men with daddy issues like to be called daddy or hate it? I have no clue someone please advise

•Has some verse/switch in him - I think he'd prefer topping because he comes way too fast bottoming LMAO and it hurts his pride a bit. Finger him while sucking him off & he's gone 

•It doesn't matter what role he's taking - Wyll is noisy in bed. He doesn't get embarrassed tho - yknow the ‘guys too scared to moan, meanwhile im in my girl's ear like-’ meme? Yea that's him. At the start he's more grunting and groaning as the pleasure starts easing in, but as the intensity picks up he’s panting in your ear with breathy moans. When he's getting close, coming, or just extra passionate he's whiny & full of long, drawn out moans 

•Not to mention he's talkative. Endless praise & encouragement - he's somehow both poetic & explicit with his dirty talk & can switch between the two seamlessly. YKNOW HE TALKS YOU THROUGH IT YOU CANT DENY IT

•Not a fan of degradation, giving or receiving - no way this man is going to call you a slut, whore, bitch or anything in that realm. Sorry to the degradation girlies (gn) he’s into having you beg (kind of) tho so there's that  

•Wyll loves sensuality & pleasure of all sorts - massaging, bathing, burning candles, good scents, the whole shabang. Very textile, he really enjoys silk sheets and satin robes. He's the type that would warm you up by slowly kissing every inch of your body before doing anything else

That's all for now folks. I have more of these already written so if anyone wants more let me know & I'll post them

[genderqueerdykes]

is it bad to be scared to start hrt?

i feel a little ashamed that i am. i try my hardest to be positive about all the things that make men & mascs masculine. i try to appreciate the parts that arent valued by society, like male pattern baldness, being fat, hairiness (love that part especially lol), etc.

but im 15, and i go back and fourth over whether or not i want to start testosterone. i had terrible cystic acne before i started acne medication, i have male pattern baldness on my dads side etc. im not a binary trans guy, so i kinda doubt ill be on it forever anyway if i DO wind up doing it, but its really scary to be told all the stuff that WILL make me a man when im… just a boy. that feels infantalizing but i suppose its true. im scared to be a man admittedly, im angry i never got to have a “true” boyhood because in currently at that age, and im scared of being thrust into it after not getting to be one. theres so much stuff about becoming “ugly” after starting testosterone. i know thats not true, logically, but ive faced so much bullying for not being pretty enough as an afab that i guess i still have that vanity embedded within me.

i feel ashamed for it, do you have any advice?

no, absolutely not- i think it's super reasonable to be scared to start HRT. it's a huge change, it affects your body and mentality in many different ways. it's a lot to take on at once especially considering there are permanent effects if taken for long enough at a high enough dose

i get why you'd be worried at that age. i didn't start HRT until i was in my early 20s. i think its okay to give yourself some time, especially considering you have some concerns about it potentially affecting your health. it would be ideal to find a way to get your blood tested for a few things- liver enzymes, red blood cell count, estrogen and testosterone levels, and so on. if you can't do that, it's understandable. i know it's not easy for someone your age to get a ride to a place like that discretely

is it possible to contact your dermatologist about your acne and see if they would be able to weigh in on that? baldness is a tricky thing. some people do bald but really late in life. some people don't. a lot of transmascs have their hairline recede by a few inches and then it usually stops. the nice thing about hair loss is there are medications that work very well that can help mitigate that. gender affirming care specialists or other doctors who prescribe testosterone are usually aware of the effects on scalp hair, and usually they'll help you test for high blood pressure, any issues like that

honestly i get where you're coming from here. i've seen this way too many times. people get pissed off about someone being a type of trans they don't like so they just bully the person until they consider detransitioning or never start transition at all, and then continue to mock and harass them anyway. i see this all the damn time and it bugs me like why would you do that to someone. who cares

people think it's ok to bully trans men & mascs right now because of all of the transandrophobia and antimasculism in general. testosterone doesn't make anyone "ugly", people are projecting their hatred of men and mascs on to a hormone that almost everyone produces naturally. it's just hateful senseless bullying. people think the younger the trans man/boy/masc is, the more valid they are to bully them.

it's okay to identify as a boy for as long as you need. you actually never have any obligation to adopt the label man if it doesn't fit you. many people identify as boys instead of men. some people are guys and not men. it's okay some people find they have to take their time to transition from boy to man. you're only 15 you are still a child, you don't have to worry about being a man for quite a while

it's definitely okay to feel conflicted and confused here. if you're able to, take time to yourself where you shut all that noise from other people out. if you're able to just ask yourself a few questions like why do i identify as a boy, what about it makes me happy, what kinds of things do i want to do in transition. just try to get a feel for what's going on so it makes it hard for people to get in your head

remember that when people attack you like this they're projecting something they deeply hate about themselves on to you. my therapist told me that last week and i thought i would just relay that. it's alright to be affected by it, but they really are just being assholes. it's good to be a trans man/boy/masc. transmasculinity is good. testosterone is good. testosterone saved my life. i'm glad to get up in the morning every day because i at least look and sound like myself. i love my body. i love the way i look. i'm stronger. i stand taller. my face is the right shape. my voice sounds right.

life is good

i hope you found any of this helpful. good luck, it's okay to feel guilt or shame for a bit. i did NOT want to come out as FtM for a VERY long time it was hard. i get it. take care of yourself, let me know if you have any more questions