#and mitski apparently lol..

[barbiedemonaco]

my updated topster.. if anyone cares..

[heynhay]

using my credentials as a top .1% mitski listener for two years in a row i have brought you mitski KL classifications

recommendations/strong matches are bolded

Laurel Hell // Be The Cowboy // Puberty 2 // Bury Me At Makeout Creek // Retired from a Sad, New, Career in Business // Lush

Keith

Everyone

Valentine, Texas

Stay Soft

Love Me More

A Pearl

A Horse Named Cold Air

Blue Light

Washing Machine Heart

I Bet on Losing Dogs

Thursday Girl

I Will

I Don't Smoke

First Love/Late Spring

Humpty

I Want You

Strawberry Blond

Wife

Door

Lance

The Only Heartbreaker

There's Nothing Left For You

Working For The Knife

Nobody

Me and My Husband

Lonesome Love

Remember My Name

Fireworks

A Burning Hill

Texas Reznikoff

Townie

Francis Forever

Carry Me Out

Goodbye, My Danish Sweetheart

Brand New City

Abbey

Both/either/interchangeable

Heat Lightning

Geyser

Come Into The Water

Pink in the Night

Two Slow Dancers

Once More to See You

anything not listed has been given careful consideration but would be too much of a reach to apply to them and/or is too personally about experiences of the human condition mitski herself has lived

Im open to healthy debate on any of these but just know i come armed with explanations for all

[em-harlsnow]

AO3 wrapped 2024

thank you to @energievie for making this and @mybrainismelted for tagging me <3

( I only started writing in 2024, but I still wanted to do this :) )

How many words have you written this year?

solo: 295,326

group projects (with @spookygingerr ): 47787

How many works did you publish this year?

24 total

1 group project

5 WIPs

What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

It's a tough choice, but I'm proud of 'iron bars' because it's the longest thing I've written. Other than that, it's probably either 'motherhood and what comes of it' or 'lilac shirts and bart simpson'.

What work of yours has the most hits?

Iron Bars - 9,390

What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

'lilac shirts and bart simpson' and 'your all talk'

Favourite title you used.

'lilac shirts and bart simpson' (it's random, idk why)

and 'cardinal sin is a vivid red' (because I got a bit into red imagery for a bit)

If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most?

I don't, but one of my fics is named after a song lyric, which is 'I see you as I see yourself' from Vampire Empire by Big Thief

Pairing you wrote the most for this year?

I only wrote for one, lol, so Gallavich <3

Favourite pairing you wrote for this year?

Again, Gallavich

What work was the quickest to write?

Anything from 'Gallaghers and Group Chats' was quick to write

What work took you the longest to write?

'not everything's a struggle' and 'iron bars' are hard for me to write sometimes

How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?

Three or four, but most are just new chapters to current WIPs

What’s your longest work of the year?

'Iron Bars' - 80676

What’s your shortest work of the year?

'I like taking pictures (as long as your in them) - 865

What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

'Iron Bars', 'Heard you could save me' and 's'more of you')

What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag?

Fluff, apparently

Your favourite character to write this year?

Mickey my beloved but Ian is a close second, I also really like writing Lip as a side character because he can have good banter with other characters

The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

Maybe Ian? I love writing him but it can be more difficult at times

What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?

....gallvich?

Which work of yours have you reread the most?

'you're all talk' probably

How many kudos in total did you get this year?

8515

Which work has the most comments?

'iron bars'

Did you do any collaborative works this year?

yes, 's'more of you' with @spookygingerr <3

Did you write any gifts this year?

no I did not

Did you receive any gifts this year?

nope (I dont really know what they are or how they work tbh)

What’s your most common category?

angst mixed with fluff I guess

What do you listen to while writing?

Mitsky or any alt music really, plus a little hiphop

Favourite work you wrote this year?

'lilac shirts and bart simpson' or 'motherhood and what comes of it' or 'I see you as you see yourself' or 'you're all talk'

Favourite line/passage you wrote this year?

it's sort of long, but oh well

You’re gonna act like you were the only one who had it bad!? You don’t even fuckin know what he did to me when he came back early from a run and found me and Ian together! You don’t know a fucking thing!” Mickey looks like he might stand, but he remains seated mainly because of the pressure of Ian’s palm on his leg. “You’re acting like I’m fucking mad at you for leaving, when I’m not! You’re acting like I wish you’d stayed! You’re fucking acting like you know anything at all, and you fucking don’t. I’m fucking pissed at you because you abandoned your kids! You fucking- you fucking- you- abandoned me! I fucking- needed you and you left! Mandy needed you, and you left! And you didn’t take us with you!”

from 'motherhood and what comes of it'

Biggest surprise while writing this year?

since I started writing this year I was surprised at actually getting any hits or attention at all. I only started writing because my cousin dared me to, so I wrote 'it's dark tonight (will you stay?)' and then started to get a positive reaction and kept writing.

I'm tagging:

@blue-disco-lights, @sgtmickeyslaughter, @crossmydna , @sam-loves-seb, @suzy-queued, @runninonemptyy, @gallawitchxx , @blue-disco-lights @wehangout @callivich @ian-galagher @deathclassic @palepinkgoat @whatthebodygraspsnot @em-harlsnow @catgrassplantdad @darlingian @sgtmickeyslaughter @burninface @jrooc @mybrainismelted

Questions:

How many words have you written this year?

How many works did you publish this year?

What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

What work of yours has the most hits?

What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

Favorite title you used.

If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most?

Pairing you wrote the most for this year?

Favorite pairing you wrote for this year?

What work was the quickest to write?

What work took you the longest to write?

How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?

What’s your longest work of the year?

What’s your shortest work of the year?

What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag?

Your favorite character to write this year?

The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?

Which work of yours have you reread the most?

How many kudos in total did you get this year?

Which work has the most comments?

Did you do any collaborative works this year?

Did you write any gifts this year?

Did you receive any gifts this year?

What’s your most common category?

What do you listen to while writing?

Favorite work you wrote this year?

Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

Biggest surprise while writing this year?

[kitkat-moon]

sending the ask thingy 🫶🏼

-my fav colors: sage green and yellow!

-my nickname: ari

-smth i enjoy doing: i love running

-my fav school subject: prob english/writing

-my fav singer: i have several but- mitski, hozier, and florence + the machine

-my fav genre of music: prob indie/folk

I LOVE THIS IDEA AHHHHH 🫶🏼

okiii!! Lol this is amazingggggg <3

Hazbin Hotel: Velvette :) No offense if you know her character! I love her style, and some of the attitude, but I definitely love her background!

The Maze Runner: Chuck/Brenda They are opposites (apparently), but based on my thoughts of them they have similar vibes and I think you match both.

Harry Potter-

Golden Trio: Hermione Granger She's smart, and English/Writing seems like it would be one of her favorite subjects if she stayed in Muggle schooling.

Marauders: Remus Lupin/Evan Rosier I love both of their characters, like so so sooooo much! They may be opposites in most peoples eyes, but I think they're a lot more alike than you'd assume. Different house, same person type thing I guess (if that makes sense?). They both match your vibes though Song:

OR

Both of them just seem like you- hehe. I was actually just listening to Family Jewels right before I did this.

Anyways! Hope you enjoyed this, hehe! :)

[daniel-profeta]

so I've been going through my folders after finishing a demo, and apparently I have a lot more of them than I thought. Like, from my entire time trying to make music. Some of these are 5 year old demos of songs that now exist in a totally different form.

Thinking of uploading some of them here and on patreon too. Most of them sound like shit, but so does my entire discography lol. Here to make your ears bleed:)

It's really interesting to see how it all evolved over time. Not even really in any sort of "progression" (except maybe vocally), more just the beginnings of ideas that got more fleshy later. On one particularly long track, there's a lengthy section with a bass drone that vibrates my eyeballs in a literal sense. It overstays its welcome and overpowers other elements where it didn't make narrative sense to, but I can't help but notice it sounds eerily similar to the bass note at the tail end of Man Behind the Curtain. I really was enamored by the idea of skull shattering bass to overpower every other element, and when it served a purpose to do so... It worked amazingly.

That's just one simple example and I doubt most people who weren't me when I was 15 would even think to check for certain lyric themes, melodies, guitar tones, or excessive bass noises... But I notice your efforts 15 y/o me. This post goes out to you

Also you may wonder why I post demos from time to time. Mainly, I get inspired hearing how things started, it teaches me that every idea needs to begin somewhere. Then seeing Alex G or Mitski get almost more attention on their older rougher material as years go by is also quite inspirational.

That was the point of this post, all hail Mitski and Alex g.

[moreaujeans]

hi leigh!! i hope you're well :) saw your post with asks and decided i would combine lots of them lol so first thing is tell me abt whatever's bothering you!! i hope nothing's bothering you obv but still.

also i am asking you for book recs. i haven't been reading a lot of proper books lately so any recs are welcome but i kind of feel like some fantasy would do me good. but like good ones? The last couple of years i've been picking up some popular fantasy standalones hoping they feel like a fantasy book you read when you're twelve and they end up being the most mid thing i've ever read. like help. i'm planning to read some robin hobb books so hopefully they're good.

also i've started listening to mitski (talk about being late lol) and i'm really liking her songs i was wondering if you have any particular recs? Or any music recs? what've you been listening to?

sorry this ask is all over the place lol i guess i'm chatty today. i hope you're having an amazing day!! <3<333

ORLA!!!! i hope you are doing well too <3 one thing that is bothering me is school is starting again bc i have gotten virtually no break </3 also that apparently the english class i’m taking doesn’t have any required books i was looking forward to reading actual books not whatever mini readings ig they’re going to be giving us instead ☹️ also also that i did Not in fact get my license like planned this summer bc during the singular week i was home a bunch of stuff suddenly came up and it became no longer my priority and now i will need to renew my permit Again bc it expires in early september and im not going to be able to make it home before that so. <3

as for book recs!! i have tragically had the same problem lately re fantasy books and honestly mostly just books in general BUT i don’t know if you’ve read any ve schwab ive really loved what books of hers ive read. vicious was my favorite, but the monsters of verity duology better fits the “feels like a fantasy book you read when you’re twelve” vibe!

for non-fantasy recs if youre feeling poetry i reallyy liked margaret atwood’s morning in the burned house. also just finished hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy which was v fun! got many laughs out of me, i did not however know before starting it that it’s a series so now idk how to proceed bc i only have the first book agdjfk

OH ALSO fantasy shoutout to strange the dreamer duology 🫶🏻🫶🏻 lovely writing style and world, fascinating antagonist, i was not a big fan of the romance but otherwise big rec on that. definitely not for everyone tho some ppl find the pacing too slow, i remember when i first read it i mentioned that in my review too that it took a bit for me to really get into although i personally wasn’t bored in the meantime like others, i was just chilling enjoying what it had to tell me abt everything

MITSKI RECS!! i love strawberry blond sorry for being basic. square too but specifically square solo piano version which they took off of spotify (idk what you’re listening to her on). because dreaming costs money my dear is also a veryyy hard-hitting one. fond of circle, a burning hill, goodbye my danish sweetheart, nobody, washing machine heart, and class of 2013 as well. that was a lot i will stop now 🫡 also must admit i am quite behind on mitski’s recent releases so i can’t speak for any of her newer albums/songs. except for working for the knife musically it doesn’t hit as much as other songs of hers for me but lyrically it makes me go crazy

as for random music recs my most recently liked songs are unsweetened lemonade by amélie farren, army dreamers by kate bush, numb little bug by em beihold, would that i by hozier, the milk carton by madilyn mei, and comme des enfants by cœur de pirate. i have not really been “listening” listening to anything lately! though that will change in a few days with wisdom saga >:)

— sleepover saturday sunday!

[toptensupakorn]

nine people i'd like to get to know better

tagged by @yakdee and @chinzhilla thank you 💓💓

last song i listened to: heaven by mitski (currently listening)

currently watching: okay here we go *cracks knuckles* 4 minutes, ayaka-chan wa hiroko-senpai ni koishiteru, battle of the writers, century of love, furitsumore kodokuna shi yo, hidamari ga kikoeru, i saw you in my dream, knock knock boys, love sea, meet you at the blossom, my love mix-up, my marvellous dream is you, snowfall, sunset x vibes, takara no vidro, tarot, the rebound, the secret of us, the trainee, this love doesn't have long beans, tasogare out focus, and i'm currently finishing unintentional love story. i'm doing great mentally why are you asking.

sweet/savoury/spicy: right now sweet, since i'm having a coffee. i wanted to use my taeyeon oddie cold reacting cup for the first time but i didn't have enough ice so it's not even working 🥹

relationship status: don't do that

current obsession: i'm not moving on from msi collecting uppoom magazines apparently? i found something worse than kpop pcs now that i'm bored with those lol series wise the one i'm enjoying the most at the moment is century of love, so glad it came out when it did even though it's going by so fasttt

not tagging anyone since i can't remember who's done this, unless you want to do it then consider yourself tagged <3

[lunapwrites]

LP's Playlist Masterlist

If something sits still long enough I'll probably make a playlist about it, so here's the playlists I've made either for my writing or for challenges within the fandom.

A generic Wolfstar Playlist if you want a themed easy listening storymode version (angst included, but it's a HFN ending with soft sad vibes.) Made this to share on HPFC if I remember correctly, so it's specifically meant to be accessible lol. Listen in order.

The playlist for Where the Wild Thyme Grows, spooky sludgy dark vibes. Weird AF. Shamefully lacking in Mammoth Weed Wizard Bastard. Great for writing horror tho. Shuffle OK.

The followup to the previous which is currently just vibes, a title, and the opening scene lol. Still dark and spooky but a little more haunted fae energy and less sludge. Shuffle OK.

MURDERWIVES. This is the three knocks playlist. Lots of post-punk and related vibes on this bitch. DAMN fun to drive to. Shuffle OK.

The ship that should not have sailed aka the cursed Remus/Ginny fic that I have a love/hate relationship with lol. Good for writing stories where the romantic leads ALSO don't want to be doing what they're doing. Shuffle OK.

When you need to feel like someone died. The Ouroboros playlist is a damn funeral march, but in like. A raw and slightly angry sort of way. Like imagine being at someone's deathbed, except you have Very Complicated Feelings about them that will probably never be resolved and you just need to make peace with that- oh, that's just the fic. Well. Here you go then. In order preferred, but shuffle OK.

A Sirius-specific playlist for a very specific Sirius that never actually ended up going anywhere but still has my heart. Also the playlist is just objectively very fun, even if there is a song on there that I actually just don't care for in hindsight. (Mother Mother is very hit or miss for me, sorry. But I was committed to the bit.) Shuffle OK.

A Remus-specific playlist, but not from his POV. Curated for a challenge. Still great fun. There is so much fucking Phoebe Bridgers and Mitski on this mfer lol. Listen in order AND on loop for best effect.

Hey so what if we made a Marauders Dark!Fic. One day I'll finish writing this thing. Too many projects. :( Anyway this is uh. A major departure from the others, and more akin to my foundational musical taste (hence why it's the longest lol.) I probably will never stop giggling about the fact that there is precisely one (1) Fall Out Boy on this one and it's very much the odd man out lmao. Great for writing action scenes with a lot of violence, physical or otherwise. Best on shuffle.

I have also chunked up relevant parts of the main All Things In Orbit Playlist which is way too long and now actually a bit outdated to add here.

Remus Lupin's Depression Hour also known as the Lost Dogs soundtrack. Covers the time from just before Halloween 1981 through the events just before Sirius breaks out of Azkaban, as covered in the ATIO-verse. CW: for themes of suicide and drug addiction. Listen in order.

Also including the LTL playlist. Literally, just the bit that's LTL. Cut out all the other crap around it from the dying embers of No Code, and the not yet published bits from Rearviewmirror. I was at one point trying to keep all the music in era, but that didn't stick well because I was spending more time researching music than writing. Once again, does best in order if you want to follow the plot. Otherwise shuffle away.

(Note: Tumblr apparently cuts you off at 10 audios. Boo.)

Anyway, this is all I've got for now. Feel free to give it a listen if you want!

[themariotheme]

tagged my lovely @pqnnier to make a poll of my top 5 albums by my top 5 artists for u lot to vote on :3

honourable mention to the last shadow puppets cos everything uve come to expect is apparently my top played album of all time since i started using last.fm lol

also yes im basic

tagging @miniaturemountainrange @fernapalooza @rottingsun @westwardsongsblog and whoever else wants to play ! @juliamccartney

[jacenbren]

2 tag memes

Got tagged in these by @dragonofeternal and I’m more than happy to play along!!

Current things tag meme

3 ships: Inumaki Toge/Okkotsu Yuuta; Legato Bluesummers/Millions Knives; Kai Smith/Zane Julien

Last song: Your Best American Girl by Mitski

Currently reading: the Jujutsu Kaisen manga. against my own better judgement.

Currently watching: working my way through rewatching Supernatural and Death Note. the former is a lot lamer than I remember and the latter is a lot goofier than I remember.

Last movie: Annihilation!! I love that movie and rewatch it from time to time, however I made the mistake of watching it while on a redeye to San Franciso and dozed off halfway through. had a nightmare of That Goddamn Bear chasing me. bad plan.

Currently consuming: fuck I forgot to eat breakfast today. I will make up for it by eating an entire box of cherry tomatoes.

Currently craving: I would kill for some donuts right about now lol

15 people 15 questions tag me

Are you named after anyone? Yes actually! My legal name is based on the name of a band my dad likes, and I stole my chosen name off of a character from the Star Wars EU.

When was the last time you cried? While I was traveling a week ago; I got really overstimulated and exhausted while off my ass on Nyquil and had a meltdown :(

Do you have kids? Nope I am nineteen and not at all mentally healthy enough to be emotionally there for a child. am currently hoping to remove the baby making bits asap.

What sports do you play/have you played? I ran cross-country for about seven years (all the way through both middle school and high school) and got my varsity letter my senior year! I also did track & field for a few years (my events were long jump and 100-meters) and to this day I still go on jogs during the summer.

Do you use sarcasm? I am very autistic so my ability to discern tone is. not great. apparently I use sarcasm a lot without meaning to lmao

What’s the first thing you notice about people? Probably their voice tbh

What’s your eye color? Blue. like apparently scarily blue. fucking satoru gojo dayglow freaky ass cerulean orbs.

Scary movies or happy endings? It wildly depends on the genre and my attachment to the characters. I'm much more of a psychological horror guy rather than an enjoyer of slasher films, so I definitely tend to prefer horror literature than movies. as for happy endings?? I definitely enjoy them when I'm looking for escapism, but unhappy/bittersweet endings definitely still have special a place in my heart.

Any talents? I'm really good at driving and I have perfect pitch!

Where were you born? Anchorage Alaska, born and raised :)

What are your hobbies? I'm a big writer, and I occasionally dabble in drawing. I'm really into Stardew Valley at the moment and I've racked up over 200 hours at this point in just one save file. I am falling hopelessly for Sebastian but I feel too guilty to divorce my current husband Elliot. help.

Do you have any pets? Yep, a cat named Ekko and a dog named George. No the dog isn't named after GeorgeNotFound. My dad named him after George Costanza from Seinfeld.

How tall are you? 5'6"

Favorite subject in school? I was always really into history and would meticulously take notes to the point where I could've probably taught the class myself. however autistic gifted kid burnout hit halfway through high school and I barely graduated after sleeping through most of my classes lmao.

Dream job? Any job where I can put some music on and just Do Tasks all day. I worked tourism over the summer (hated that job and I never want to go back) and spent half of it hiding in the back room putting stickers on merchandise. I Love Boring Menial Tasks.

anyway tagging @mellointheory @hecksee @apollos-boyfriend @setsuntamew @acewendino @wigglesforsquiggles @siryyeet @routeriver @versaphile @avitus-ostrander !! feel free to join in if you like; no pressure :D

[noah-kuttler]

tag ppl you wanna know better ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

tagged by: @pinkwater11 ❤️❤️

last song: bug like an angel by mitski

favorite color: still partial to purples + teal but now salmon has entered the chat 👀

currently watching: about to start watching haunting of hill house (just in time for spooptober)

last movie: i'm thinking of ending things. hoooowee.

currently reading: the good people by hannah kent - because i didn't have enough misery in my life apparently lol

sweet/spicy/savory: savory > sweet > spicy. truly wish i could do spicy but i have shit tolerance ;(

relationship status: huh?? did someone say something??

current obsessions: texas chainsaw massacre. my ocs. my texas chainsaw massacre o- *dragged behind the barn and promptly shot*

last thing i googled: κορμος σοκολατας. if i actually manage to make one remains to be seen.

currently working on: a fuckton of playlists because i hate myself teehee :) also a fuckton of fics but i've lost inspiration so they're just. sitting there. for now.

tagging noone because im selfish and a coward and also get anxious about accidentally pressuring people anyone who wants to do this go wild :)

[my-verklempt-mindspace]

22 December, 2024

Sunday

Christmas is around the corner, cafés are decked up, the atmosphere is for sure cheerful, there is a freshness in the cold air and yet, my mental health feels a bit rotten. Somehow, this always ends up happening on occasions like birthdays, festivals, etc. It’s like everyone is so happy that the happiness starts feeling forced and oppressive. Not sure if I’m making sense lol.

Most days are undeniably good, some feel heavy for no apparent reason at all. Life just chooses to hit you on those days. Guess this is one of those days.

Here’s a poem or rather, a free flow of thoughts, to acknowledge these emotions (coz why not)

“The Girl on the Sidewalk”

Isn’t it strange

How she feels the loneliest when she’s surrounded by people,

Yet not half as much when she’s alone?

Guess she’s just used to being her now;

The girl on the sidewalk,

The one nobody waits for

When she bows down to tie her laces.

The girl who always stands awkwardly on the corners in group photographs,

The girl who is used to being the one without the seat

The girl who nods and smiles to everything

The girl who hesitates because she might come off as “too much”.

She never felt truly heard as a child

Or seen, or acknowledged

There was always this invisible barrier between her and the world

Making her feel like she exists on the margins

That has her her to become reticent,

It’s just an ironic self-fulfilling prophecy at this point;

Even when she is objectively a person of importance in a gathering,

Her thoughts take over and gaslight her into thinking she’s the girl on the sidewalk.

“I always feel like I'm nobody, mm

Who wants to fit in anyway?”

The song “I don’t care” hits way too close to her heart

But it doesn’t have to stay this way

There are some people who make her feel seen and heard

Who acknowledge her presence

And make everything better

With such people, she no longer feels like the girl on the sidewalk.

But her thoughts often get in the way and wreck it,

It doesn’t bother her that much anymore

After all, why do we have to be the main character all the time anyway?

And what’s so wrong with being the girl on the sidewalk

The girl who cares, the girl who shows up, the girl who listens

And so today, I will gladly embrace this and refer to myself as,

The girl on the sidewalk.

That’s it for today! Sending lots of warmth and good wishes, especially to all those who aren’t feeling so festive/cheerful at this time, it’s okay to feel this way and take it slow. Please take care!

Until next time,

Mahika

Here’s a song that feels like a warm hug on cold winter mornings to make you feel better. <3

[undermine-the-instinct]

Okay okay, I really like the vibe mc gives off. She gives 'I've been extremely neglected and self sufficient growing up, so instead of being loved the most I settled for was not being a bother/being extremely easy to please'.

You can see it here: "Who are you to come in the way of Suguru's apparent desire to get married?"

As well as, "You've never had the luxury of dwelling too long of what a hypothetical wedding would entail. You had no use for it, really."

__________

"What did the two of you talk about?" You ask eagerly.

An amused glint flickers in his dark gaze. Almost teasingly. "Flowers."

"Flowers?"

"Flowers."

If Suguru was talking flowers with this poor girl he was probably going in with the flower language. She probably planted Lotuses because of Gojo and his connection to Buddhism, a high class family sort of thing, trying to flatter Gojo, and Geto probably told her to plant platycodons instead 😭😭. (I.e the platycodon, or chinese bellflower, is the flower that was put in abe-no-seimei's. Gojo's ancester, shrine and is heavily associated with him.) Or that her garden would look better with Acacia's, or yellow roses and maybe then Gojo would visit. 😭😭😭.

__________

"There is something fundamentally wrong with you. You would rather the vulnerable truth of it all not be laid bare and dissected by a scorned lover you disappointed in some way, because you had not been able to live up to the expected standards of romantic love."

BABY NOOOO. YOU DESERVE LOVE. THERE IS NOTHIBG WRING WITH YOU. Oh God that reminds me of this Mitski quote...

Yeah....

__________

"Suguru greets them with a smile, untying his apron and pulling her up into his arms--" I swear to God I need to wife Geto up. What I wouldnt give to come home to this man. God damn it.

AND GOD DAMN IT it really hurts my heart seeing how much mc wants to be a part of there lives but is content (or telling themselves to be) with what they have. Telling themselves to get used to the loneliness and not overstepping because eventually there will be someone else and they'll be gone from her life 😭😭😭. But at least the kids still need her!!! Till they don't anymore... And then what?

The fact that she chose the apartment because of the signs of the people who use to be there... "You thought that there must have been love in your apartment once. So much love that a child could grow up happily scribbling away on the same walls you woke up to every day. Maybe, somehow, this love would make you feel less lonely. Your apartment was home."

Its like she's trying to glean whatever leftover love there is left for herself. But is it home because of that or is she telling herself that to appease herself??? I'm sure she likes the apartment for aforementioned reasons but is it really home?? No.

The fact that she only had a rotting carrot and some old tea....💀💀💀. Girl, your friend is a doctor and you have this kind of diet? But she has an identical sugar jar for Gojo back at her place 🥺🥺🥺!!! ddao mc really makes me wanna sit her down in a blanket for and cuddle, she deserves it 🥺.

Also, lol the fact that she spends a good chunk of the story admiring women and shoko....

"The thought of Shoko getting married disturbs you. You think of seeing here even less than you usually do and frown."

"You think these girls deserve far more respect for being able to flawlessly navigate jujutsu society than you do, as a working jujutsu socerer."

"You always found it difficult to talk to pretty women. Your mouth never quite worked right. They always smelled nice too..."

"Maybe you could keep Shoko to yourself for a little bit longer." Okay, I peep game 👀👀.

All in all, mc needs someone Shoko to come and wife her up right now 😤. Get those sad little thoughts outta her head right now 😤😤.

dog days are over | chapter one

pairing: gojo satoru x fem!reader x geto suguru warnings/tags (for this chapter): none, but please heed overall fic warnings word count: ~3.2k

fic masterlist read on ao3

“Suguru…you’re getting married?”

Your eyes are wide as you examine Suguru in a new light.

Marriage…that’s…that’s a big step isn’t it? Already? Do people get married at twenty-two nowadays? You aren’t sure. In fact, you don’t really know what people your age do. But you’re sure that whatever Suguru decides, you will support him fully. Even if he desires to get married at the early age of twenty-two. Who are you to come in the way of Suguru's apparent desire to get married?

Suguru doesn’t even blink at your words. “Of course not,” he replies smoothly, expertly dicing carrots into small cubes on the cutting board. He finishes, puts the knife down, and looks at you reassuringly. “It was just a matter of propriety. I couldn’t just leave that girl waiting for hours on end for Satoru, now could I?”

You shake your head, smiling back. Of course he would. Because Suguru is a good person who would keep a girl company at a matchmaking ceremony that Satoru either refused to show up to or forgot. You aren’t surprised to hear it. Both the fact that Suguru spent his afternoon entertaining her, and that Satoru had neglected to go to it in the first place, or even mention it to you.

Marriage…

You think of white dresses, veils, shiromukus. Endless white fabrics. Black kimonos. Cups of Sake. You think of temples, the reception, the planning. All the different options for catering and flowers and wedding invitations. Your head spins. Weddings. Marriage. Abstract concepts to you. Foreign in their conventionality. You’ve never had the luxury of dwelling too long of what a hypothetical wedding would entail. You had no use for it, really. Though you did occasionally think about how Shoko would look on her wedding day. 

Suguru is calling your name.

You blink, regaining the smile on your lips, hoping he didn’t ask you a question you had not heard. “Y-yes?”

“Just keeping you with me,” he hums, getting started on the mushrooms and potatoes. “What were you thinking about?”

“Weddings are complicated,” you say seriously. But then you think of Shoko in a wedding dress, Suguru and Satoru in black kimonos, and decide that Shoko would make a lovely bride just as Satoru and Suguru would make lovely grooms. “I hope I get to see all of you married one day.”

Though the thought of Shoko getting married disturbs you. You think of seeing her even less than you usually do and frown. Twenty-two really is a bit too young, isn’t it? She hasn’t even finished medical school yet! You force yourself away from your thoughts, regarding Suguru brightly.

“What did the two of you talk about?” You ask eagerly. 

An amused glint flickers in his dark gaze. Almost teasingly. “Flowers.”

“Flowers?”

“Flowers.”

The girl had invited Suguru to see the sprawling garden at her estate and the special lotuses she tended to daily. He politely declined. You are slightly disappointed at this. You think of Satoru and Suguru’s wedding. You think of a faceless third, a potential bride that could handle Satoru and Suguru’s tempestuous natures. A calming, dignified force. You think she’ll be beautiful, befitting the two of them. 

“Was she pretty?”

Suguru stops, knife pressed to the cutting board, mushroom split in two. He lifts his gaze, returning to your expectant gaze with an unreadable one before his expression softens. “I suppose.”

You stare at him. He…supposes? Just what is that supposed to mean? Some new cryptic way of conveying his interest? Maybe he’s embarrassed. Maybe he doesn’t want to admit it.

The amused smile returns to his lips. “I was just a temporary fill in for Satoru, nothing more.”

He resumes cutting. Finishes. Heats up oil in a large pot and pushes the vegetables into it with a knife.

He’s too modest. You’re sure he’s downplaying himself. She had invited him to her estate for a second meet, hadn’t she? You guess Satoru and Suguru and yes, even Shoko are at an age most would consider eligible for marriage. They’ll get married soon, embark on the next adventure of their lives and you’ll…

You’ll be content.

“Have you thought about it?” He asks nonchalantly. “Marriage?”

You falter, a lapse in your thoughts at Suguru’s inquiring gaze. “Not at all,” you say truthfully. “I can’t even imagine it.” Someone loving you? The thought of someone finding something worthwhile in you makes you feel greatly disturbed when you decided long ago that romantic endeavors were useless in your case. But even that line of thinking is arrogant of you. Nobody has ever shown interest in you in the twenty-one years you’ve been alive, and you are sure that even the slightest interest in you would only end with disappointment.

There is something fundamentally wrong with you. You would rather the vulnerable truth of it all not be laid bare and dissected by a scorned lover you disappointed in some way, because you had not been able to live up to the expected standards of romantic love. You would say something wrong, do something wrong. You wouldn’t understand. You don't think you'd be recover, and even the thought of it makes you feel vaguely ill.

You’re not naive. You know that love doesn’t have to be a factor in marriage, but if marriage was a necessity, then what was wrong with hoping for love, romance, passion? You’ve seen the well bred women of jujutsu society, the ones whose last names hold importance on some level, cultivated for the singular purpose of being a wife, a mother, sheltered away in their estates awaiting the inevitable. You think these girls deserve far more respect for being able to flawlessly navigate jujutsu society than you do, as a working jujutsu sorcerer. 

You also think you want better for Satoru. You think he deserves love and everything else he’s found in Suguru. You’re happy for him. For Suguru. Because even someone like you knows how rare it is to find what the two of them have.

You exhale. “But nothing’s expected of me anyway." You've never even been kissed. "I don’t have a lover, or even parents. I’m nobody important. But you, Satoru, and Shoko…" A self deprecating smile. "It seems that I’ll have to learn to live without you guys soon.” You’d be lonely. But you at least had Megumi and Tsumiki, and even Mimiko and Nanako. You were sure they’d still need you for a few more years. And then…

You’ve never thought about the future. Not to this extent. You’re unsure of what your life would be without Suguru, Satoru, and Shoko. You’re unsure if you’d even exist. 

As long as you’re alive, you’d persist. Somehow. And if you died along the way, well. You suppose you wouldn’t have to put too much thought into the future then, would you?

You must look troubled. Suguru clears his throat. You look up, just as the smell of curry fills your nose. 

He lifts up an inviting spoonful of curry. “For you.”

It takes you a few seconds to completely pull out of your thoughts, and to register the spoon in his grip. You learn forward automatically, mumble ‘thank you for the food,’ and eat his offering. The curry is delicious, savory with a sweet note that can’t just be attributed to the apples you had seen him blending before to mix into the sauce. Your gaze drops to an opened packet on the counter.

“Dark chocolate?”

“A tip I got from some of the housewives in the complex,” Suguru replies, satisfied with your response. “They said that it’d add an additional note of flavor. I’m guessing it worked…?”

You nod vigorously. “It’s delicious!”

Of course Suguru’s made good with the housewives in the fancy apartment complex the two of them live in with the kids. Suguru wanted a big kitchen. Satoru wanted a view. The penthouse seemed to both their tastes.

It’s a lovely apartment, with a large sprawling living room that includes ceiling high bookshelves, an open kitchen with a long island, and stairs that spiral to a second floor. Accommodating two adults, four kids and more, easily. It brings a smile to your face to see traces of Satoru and Suguru, and all the kids all over the apartment. You’re sure the confetti and colored paper scraps on top of the kotatsu are from Mimiko and Nanako and Tsumiki. Some school project that involved copious amounts of glue and glitter. There’s a book you bought for Megumi on the couch. Just as the bookshelves are full of Suguru’s own books. The big jar of sugar in one of the upper cabinets of the kitchen (far away from the kids’ reach) is Satoru’s. To add into his cereal, tea and anything else accommodating his usual sugary diet. There’s an identical jar back at your apartment. Satoru’s sugar jar.

To Satoru and Suguru and the girls, Megumi, and Tsumiki, it’s home.

Suguru’s eyes crease with the curve of his lips, pleased. “I’m glad you like it.” 

“Everyone’s going to love it.” Especially the twins, you think. Chocolate in their curry seemed to be exactly the kind of thing they’d delight at, in the small bursts of childlike wonder they rediscovered after Suguru rescued them. They followed after Satoru with their sweet tooths. However, after Nanako had been found with a cavity, Suguru had been forced to put a hard limit on their sugar intake, much to their disappointment.

Suguru gives the curry a stir, almost absentmindedly, as if he’s pondering something.

“I think about it,” he says, after a small silence. “Getting married.”

Oh.

Of course Suguru has thought about marriage. What, with all the marriage talks and matchmaking ceremonies and lovely elegant women in their pretty kimonos, who probably knew all the perfect ways to serve tea and facilitate conversation in all matters of talk. Suguru would make a perfect husband. Anybody would be lucky to marry Suguru. Charming and kind and handsome. 

You’ve begun to formulate a question about whether or not anyone’s caught his or Satoru’s eye, when you hear a thundering of footsteps. 

“We’re backkkkkkk!” Nanako hollers, rushing into the open living space, pulling Mimiko along with her. “Papa, are you making curry? It smells good!”

Mimiko nods her agreement, tugging on Suguru’s apron. Suguru greets them with a smile, untying his apron and pulling her up into his arms, just Satoru strolls into the room, Tsumiki at his side, Megumi trailing a few steps behind them.

“I’m starved!” Satoru announces, peering over the stovetop at the boiling curry. When a hand sneaks for a piece of chocolate, Suguru slaps his hand away. 

Suguru takes the chocolate away and puts it into a drawer as Satoru gawks. “It’s not the kind you’d like anyway.”

“Tsumiki, Megumi,” you start. “How’s school?”

You have regrettably not been able to visit as much as you wish you could. Your studies kept you busy. Your missions kept you out of Tokyo. You hope your absence isn’t missed too much. You read that children should grow up in stable environments. Your schedule was the last thing from stable.

Tsumiki beams. “I’ve got a part in the school play. We’re putting on Hachikazuki-hime!”

You make a mental note to grab the date from Satoru so you can clear your schedule. Tsumiki would be graduating elementary school soon. Already onto middle school. Children grow up so quickly. You’d have to take as many pictures as you could to compile an elementary school picture book for all the kids.

“Is that why you guys were all at the school so late?”

She nods. “Ah, and Megumi hasn’t gotten into a fight in a month,” she says excitedly. “It’s a record!”

The aforementioned boy makes a face. “What is that supposed to mean?” 

You grin, ruffling the boy’s hair. “That is a record!” Satoru had taken care of an incident a month ago in which you had been called to the school over an altercation between Megumi and another male student. You hadn’t been able to make it. You didn’t ask what Satoru had done, but you have a suspicious inkling that it had been waved away with a twirl of Satoru’s trusty black card.

You catch a glimpse of the clock above the refrigerator and balk. You snatch up your bag from the floor and wrap Tsumiki and Megumi in your arms and squeeze.

“I have to go now! I’ll see you guys later.”

“You’re not staying for dinner?” Mimiko asks quietly, peering up at you through her black bangs.

A sheepish breath escapes you. “I have a lot of homework, unfortunately.” You’d get takeout from that new tempura restaurant that opened up a couple of blocks away from your apartment. Then it was back to the books for you.

Satoru frowns. “You can’t stay an hour?”

Nanako and Mimiko and even Tsumiki voice their agreement.

Even Suguru looks displeased. Though you suppose it’s your fault. It had been your intention to stay until…

Suguru wanted to get married. He was thinking of marriage. With Satoru, with some other faceless bride to be. All three of them. You had said it yourself, hadn’t you? You’d have to learn to live without them. 

All of this is just temporary. 

You turn to the kids. “Why don’t you guys wash up for dinner?”

One by one, they shuffle off to their rooms. Megumi gives you an inquiring stare, but you wave him off.

“I’ve got a lot more work than I thought…” you trail off underneath their twin scrutiny. “I think it’d be best for me to go home for today.”

“Home,” Satoru repeats. His lips twist, effectively staunching all the words that would undoubtedly tell you exactly what he thinks about your decaying one bedroom apartment that had become your home after you graduated. You were untethered after graduation. While it was an occasion, jujutsu tech had been your home for better or worse for four years. It was the first place you had truly thought of as a home. And to leave it…

Yaga had offered you your room on campus, if you wanted to stay. But it didn’t seem right. Not without Suguru, Satoru, and Shoko. You found your apartment off a flyer attached to a pinboard while at a public library. Shoko had visited the apartment with you, negotiated rent down with the landlord, and the lease had been signed with little fanfare. It was small enough that you wouldn’t feel too lonely. Big windows overlooking a courtyard in the back. She hadn’t been thrilled about it (Satoru and Suguru even less so), but it was clean with a well worn floor and chips in the wall adjacent to the kitchen from what you presumed was to measure a child’s height. It endeared you to the apartment immediately.

Your landlord had informed you that a single mother had lived in your apartment before vacating it. You thought that there must have been love in your apartment once. So much love that a child could grow up happily scribbling away on the same walls you woke up to everyday. Maybe, somehow, this love would make you feel less lonely.

Your apartment was home. 

“Then let me pack you—”

“It’s fine, it’s fine!” You say hurriedly, backing towards the foyer. “I’d hate to trouble you. I have food at home.”

“I’ll walk you.” Satoru says, grabbing his jacket off the counter.

“I’ll take a taxi from the lobby.” You refuse. You can’t hide your smile, touched by their concern. “You should all eat. As a family.”

Suguru stares at you, the weight of his dark gaze making your skin prickle. It makes you feel as if you’ve said something wrong.

“At least make Ijichi drive you home,” Satoru says, exasperated, gesturing to the ceiling length windows that detail the darkness that has set over Tokyo. “It’s dark out.”

You blink in disbelief. “Satoru…” He cocks his head to the side. “Are you still using Ijichi as your personal chauffeur…?”

“...”

You turn to Suguru who seems to suddenly find the potted flowers resting by the window interesting.

Your mouth drops. “Not you too, Suguru! For the last time, you two can’t make Ijichi drop everything he’s doing to drive you through Tokyo!”

You sigh, shaking your head. These two. You feel sympathy towards Ijichi’s plight. Maybe that was why he had looked so withered the other day while you had visited Shoko in the morgue at Jujustu tech. Shoko had made a joke about watering him like you’d water a plant. You, however, could not find the humor in the situation when your kouhai had truly looked to be in need of water. And sleep. And food.

Maybe you could treat him for a meal one of these days…

“Does Ijichi like yakitori…?” You wonder out loud.

“I wouldn’t know.” Suguru says lightly, despite the peeved expression on his face. You can tell that Suguru, really, could not care less about Ijichi’s tastes.

“I don’t care about that man,” Satoru deadpans. “Why are you talking about Ijichi right now?”

You are unimpressed by their responses. “Anyway,” you sigh out. “I’ll be going now.”

“I’m coming—”

“No you aren’t,” you’re already halfway out the door. “Eat Suguru’s delicious curry,” you tell them both. “Tell the kids I love them. Goodnight.”

You don’t take a taxi. You walk fifty minutes to your apartment in the brisk winter in an effort to clear your mind. It doesn’t work. Suguru wants to get married. Satoru too, maybe, despite his efforts to avoid all the matchmaking ceremonies and invitations to go back to the Gojo estate for more lectures on the importance of continuing the Gojo line with an heir. In the end if Suguru wanted it, Satoru would end up wanting it too, as that was the nature of things. The two of them reconfiguring themselves around the other, always in tandem. A girl would catch Satoru’s eye, or Suguru’s, or maybe both of their attentions. And if she made them happy, you would be happy.

It wasn’t as if Suguru and Satoru didn’t have prospects. There was no shortage of girls who would gladly offer themselves. They didn’t need any help in that aspect. Besides, you are sure you’d be of absolutely no help in matchmaking. You always found it difficult to talk to pretty women. Your mouth never quite worked right. They always smelled nice too…

What you can do…

You can keep your distance. Slowly disengage yourself from the tangle of their lives. You’d be relegated to watching from the sidelines. You’d be content. Maybe you could keep Shoko to yourself for a little bit longer. To your knowledge, she had no intention of getting married. You hoped. Yet anyway. 

You jam your keys into the door of your apartment, slightly lifting the weight of the door up and jiggling the keys to the right. When you walk into your apartment, you set down your bag. You had forgotten about the takeout. There’s no food in your apartment except for a rotting carrot in the fridge that you throw out, and Satoru’s big jar of sugar on the island. 

Oh well, you didn’t have to eat. There's old tea in your cabinet. You ready the kettle. As you wait for the water to heat, you look out the window and think the apartment feels especially big tonight.

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

hello, i'd love to request a matchup for jjk and genshin impact if you have the time!

pronouns: she/her

sexuality: bisexual

zodiac/mbti: sagittarius and infp but to be honest i do not believe in these at all. sorry girlie </3

appearance: i am a lovely kawaii hello kitty princess (east asian) girl of 5'3 stature with light skin. i also have dark brown hair and dark brown eyes which i'm sure is absolutely shocking. my aesthetic is mostly within the soft girl, girly girl, and elegant girl archetypes and you can almost always find me in a pretty dress. also a huge fan of dangly korean-style earrings and glittery pink makeup.

personality: apparently i look very normie and sweet, but that perception of me is quickly shattered as soon as i open my mouth. i retain almost no sense of shame and am not afraid to say something completely insane and out of pocket at a volume loud enough to have me labeled as a public menace. i love to talk and have a wide and varied range of hobbies and opinions that i can discuss at length about; but nothing delights me more than having something happen to me which i can then call 4-5 people in succession to complain about.

i have always been academically driven and push myself to excel in my studies and take on as many extracurriculars as needed to succeed. i'm always the first to voice my opinions, and i like to confront my issues head on and directly, whether that be homework or a conflict with a friend. i have strong ideas for how things should be done, and i value my own independence and autonomy. but i also want a dominant partner so take that as you will ...

in terms of relationships with others, i'm very much anxious-attachment. with people i haven't known for long enough, i consistently seek verbal affirmation they care about me, and i frequently get jealous when my friends get together or get closer without me. i always want to be everyone's number one, or failing that, somewhere within the top five. i'm also the world's most neurotic person ever!!

i would say i'm an introvert when it comes down to it, but i frequently socialize and enjoy going to the occasional party. my first love is peace and solitude, but my second love is spending time with others. i'm always around other people, and i'm always trying to talk to them.

likes and dislikes: i love pretty faces and intelligent, capable people. desserts, shopping, and pretty clothes occupy more of my likes, along with academic validation. i tend to dislike stem subjects, physical exertion, and waking up early.

hobbies: i have chronically online femcel hobbies so i have very good working knowledge of video games, anime, manga, web novels, and a variety of other things. i consider myself a media omnivore and i can watch/read/play almost anything with a plot. and i love to write!

other info: my sense of humor is not to be mentioned in polite company, but i promise it is completely wrecked. every single year i land somewhere in mitski's top 0.1% of listeners. i'm a notorious night owl who sleeps when my roommates wake up, causing me to be late to classes and hangouts much to everyone else's disappointment. my free time is very limited in that i usually have either classes, homework, extracurriculars, or plans lined up every moment of my day. if someone wants to see me, they have to schedule a week in advance and have me put it into my google calendar.

thank you so much for taking the time to read this entire mess lol ...! you are a hero for even doing matchups and i hope your day goes wonderfully. if you asked i would put you into my google calendar btw.

Hi Anon! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took so long. I hope you like your matchups!

In Jujutsu Kaisen, I match you with...

You and Gojo are so similar in so many ways. You’re both very vocal about your opinions and have no filters, saying whatever comes to mind. Being together only makes it worse.

However, that’s not to say you’re always going around causing trouble. Gojo enjoys being able to relax with you in silence as much as you do. With a job as stressful as his, it’s a nice change of pace.

Enjoys going shopping with you. He’s got a good eye for fashion and knows what styles you like so you’re always sure to find at least one new item of clothing to leave with.

I see Gojo as someone who also enjoys playing video games with you. He’s good at multiplayer games but has a preference towards simulators and calming games. He already deals with enjoy chaos on a day to day basis.

Loves going to parties with you! You both bring a whole lot to any event you attend and he enjoys being able to spend time with you in fun, energetic places like parties.

In Genshin Impact, I match you with...

Unlike Gojo, Jean is more likely to balance you out. She’s got to maintain a certain amount of discipline due to her position in the Knights of Favonius so that will inevitably wear off on you.

Very good with verbal affirmation. Jean knows how to rally people around and encourage them to continue doing their best and you’re no different.

I see Jean as someone who has a secret sweet tooth. It’s something she tries to control but if you bring her afternoon tea when she’s had a long day, she’ll be very grateful.

Jean’s also someone who needs a schedule so she’s more than happy to help you organise your day as well. She’ll try to work it so that you both have free time together.

At the end of the day, there’s nothing she likes better than being able to relax with you in silence, away from everyone else. It’s a nice de-stress time for her.

[mouldremover]

ive had prophetic dream a couple times in my life. one was about a VR place with black walls being built in the shopping centre in my city - a few months later, there it was! the other time i dreamed i saw mitski perform live and later that year, i did. i also once in primary school dreamt someone got star of the week, and the next day, boom.

my mum has also seen stuff in her sleep before it happened - she dreamed of there being a tsunami once and the next day there was one.

so this has, though i know it’s very unlikely and probably just coincidence, made me just a tiny bit think ‘lol i can sometimes predict the future in my dreams’ even though i KNOW it’s most likely just me being silly because i am very very good at that.

anyway this is all well and good because my dreams are all falling into three categories i can easily respond to:

a) so insane there’s no way it can be true - e.g the entire dream occurs in minecraft (has happened before)

b) are some neutral to positive mundane thing - so either something inconsequential happens, or sometimes even something good

c) are about someone dying / being in ill health - while this SOUNDS bad apparently superstition means dreaming of someone dying ensures they live longer. so it’s cool! i am extending my loved ones life spans in my subconscious!

but the issue occurs when i have a dream that is as everyday feeling as my type b dreams but is actually a bad thing that hasn’t happened yet. i’ve had two of these and both cause extreme worry in me.

the first one has actually happened in many forms, but always involves the bottom of my road and is terrifying, especially because i have to walk there everyday usually. everytime i walk there alone i think shit this is when my prophetic dream will happen which sounds silly but not when you’re there and of a paranoid disposition.

the second one happened last night, and again, i’m not going to go into it, but it made me think two things - 1. i’m probably a horrible ungrateful person and 2. people are going to find out and hate me. again, could write it off as an anxiety dream (it did take place in a bouncy castle so not exactly realistic) but i woke up feeling terrified and still feel terrified now. because oh no what if i’ve predicted something in my sleep!

i sit there, everywhere, waiting for it to happen.

and then i realise how i only focus on the bad. because why am i so caught up on two nightmares when i’ve had a million realistic good dreams? which haven’t come true? why have i not given them the same thought treatment, same anticipation. some special intuition? - no.

because reading this over makes me think, either everyone else is like this and humans just search for patterns and get silly sometimes, or i have some weirdly manifesting form of anxiety that’s making me stressed that if i don’t take the right learning experience from my dream i’ll either be hated, in danger, or some other awful fate.

and that maybe, just maybe, my new years resolution of ‘express more kindness’ should also apply to myself. that just because i live a very lucky and fortunate life, doesn’t mean i can’t have a mental health issue. it doesn’t mean i’m not allowed to be sad, or paranoid, or scared, or stressed, or disappointed, or bored. because literally no one is telling me that but myself.

maybe if i was kinder to myself, i wouldn’t have spent half my year feeling awful.

or, to rephrase that, i’m going to spend 2024 being so kind, so genuine, to everyone including me. i’ll focus on appreciating my waking moments instead of stressing over my sleeping ones. i’ll feel more interesting than just a coincidental prophetic dream.

and along the way, i think the anxieties i feel will settle down into more healthy worries.

i’ll be able to let nightmares just be nightmares.

[moonlitkeep]

My Top 10 Spotify Songs of 2023

Cry - Cigarettes After Se

Francis Forever - Mitski

Opera House - Cigarettes After Sex

End Of The Road - Boyz II Men

Into the New World - Girls Generation

Dreaming of You - Cigarettes After Sex

Doin' Just Fine - Boyz II Men

Like OOH-AHH - Twice

Lion Heart - Girls Generation

On Bended Knee - Boyz II Men

And then apparently I'm like a vampire lol