#and most of all i deserve some rest now!!

[afterglowsainz]

the great war | max verstappen, lando norris

pairing: max verstappen x reader x lando norris

summary: no one knows that you’re dating max and lando and everyone just assumes the worst

fc: amaya crichton

a/n: p1 and p2 in singapore… you know what that means 🤭

—

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and others

yourusername last few days in the big apple 🗽🍎

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username a rhode girlie yesss

username so chic i love her

username so gorgeous

username the most beautiful 🤩

username ariana what are you doing here 🤣 (max and lando)

username not them liking the same girl 🤣

username jesus is just a like chill

username so gorgeous i wish new york was real 😍

yourusername’s instagram stories

[caption 1: comfort movie💗] [caption 2: short break🌞]

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maxverstappen1 enjoying summer break ☀️

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username ohhh he’s with lando that’s sweet

username DAMN

username i cannot handle the second pic right now

username he’s so babygirl

landonorris 😎 (liked by maxverstappen1)

username thinking unholy thoughts 😮‍💨

martingarrix 🤪

username both at the same time

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f1gossip max verstappen and lando norris where seen enjoying the summer break together with friends

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username max 😮‍💨😮‍💨

username barking like a dog

username who’s the girl 😩😩

username wait isn’t that y/n y/l/n?

username yes! i knew i recognized her from somewhere

username who is sheee

username some influencer i think, max and lando had been liking her pictures for a while now

username ahhh she’s very pretty

username im gonna need some context as to how my girl y/n knows max and lando

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yourusername 🌺🌊🏝

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username BEAUTIFUL

username ughhh the prettiest

username love that bikini

username she seems like a gold digger 😭 get away

username okay i get max and lando

username girl are you with lando? or max? i gotta know 😩

username so mother

username mmm no i don’t like her

username INSANE face card

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landonorris summer days ☀️

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username cute🦦

username max the ultimate wag

username i need someone to look at me the way max looks at lando

username sir the last pic??? who are we trying to soft launch here?

username my boyfriend and his wag 😍

maxverstappen1 😊

landonorris 😚

username no cause this is a totally normal interaction

username who is he soft launching i’m not gonna be able to rest 😩

lnfour 👀

username what do you know ???

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f1gossip driver max verstappen was seen on a romantic date last night with influencer y/n y/l/n in monaco

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username i hope you’re okay knowing this information killed me

username they’re dating omggg 🥰

username they really look so cute together!

username please say sike right now 😭

username she gives me the WORST vibes i can’t

username you’re just jealous omg he’s and adult he can date whoever he wants

username why does he have such bad taste in women? 🤮

username love them! they look perfect together 😍

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f1gossip driver lando norris was seen on a romantic date earlier today at the beach with influencer y/n y/l/n in monaco

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username uhmmm what

username 😭😭😭

username is this a joke?

username see how all the girlies that were supporting y/n are very quiet now.

username is she playing both of them? HAH

username i knew she was a gold digger omg

username lando baby stand up

username this is such disgusting behavior honestly 🥱

username she doesn’t deserve any of them

username people can be friends 🤷🏽‍♀️

username bestie look at the pics again they are most definitely NOT friends

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f1wags influencer y/n y/l/n this weekend at the paddock. it seems she was for a little while in the mclaren garage and then she went to red bull

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username absolutely not 🤢

username can this girl be any more obvious?

username girl keeps swapping omg just pick one! or leave both of them alone!

username who invited her? no one wants her there 😭

username well if she was there someone obviously wanted her to be

username you guys just critize her all the time yet ignore how lando and max where looking at her the whole weekend

username and that’s exactly the reason … why does she have to play with their feelings like that?

username we don’t care!

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yourusername birthday in austinnnn with my loves🧡💙

tagged landonorris and maxverstappen1

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username oh she clocked everyone and their mothers

username what were y’all bitches saying about her playing them???

username THE HARD LAUNCH ATE

username now those comments between max and lando make more sense 😭

username the hate this girl got and it was all for nothing! she’s beautiful and everyone was just jealous

pietra.pilao happy birthdayyyy 💘 (liked by yourusername)

alexandrasaintmleux happy birthday my y/n!🤍 (liked by yourusername)

username the fact no one thought they could all be dating is CRIMINAL

username hot throuple hot throuple 🚨

maxverstappen1 happy birthday liefje, ik houd van jou❤️ (i love you)

yourusername love you too max❤️

landonorris can’t say i love you in another language but i love you 3000❤️‍🩹

yourusername 😭😭😭 i love you

[akutasoda]

"i think i was born wanting more, i think i was born missing you"

--he always brushed you off, pushing you further and further to keep you out of the way. yet when he sees you with someone else, he lets the bitter jealousy get the best of him - and for the first time, he thinks with his heart, not his brain. but it's too late.

--warnings - gn!reader, fluff, slight crack, angst no comfort, one-sided(?) pining, maybe ooc? wc - 1.6k

--a/n: rghhh ratio. i have no clue how to write for this man.

the intelligentsia guild. a branch of the IPC that focused on it's praised academics.

distinguished scholars worked alongside the up and comings, building their reputations to start a proper career in their respective fields. it was no surprise that the guild was full of all kinds of people from every different walk of life imaginable. ratio was one of such.

although a key difference between him and the rest of his colleagues was that this was his second choice. the doctor always dreamed of being acknowledged by nous - to feel their piercing gaze and know that in their view, he was worthy of their recognition. he wanted to be a member of ths genius society, the only way was to has that recognition, a one way ticket into the society.

but he wasn't selfish. ratio believed that everyone deserved knowledge, he spread his word through his lectures and publications - ensuring that others had the capacity to be something other than half-witted. he was prideful in his knowledge, but not to the extent to be considered arrogant. not enough to be recognised - some may disagree but even ratio couldn't help but be slightly arrogant or impatient around those that couldn't comprehend him.

he wasn't a scholar that worked for petty pride, and so nous wouldn't even spare him one glance. blocked from joining the genius society, ratio turned to the next best thing. the intelligentsia guild. an organisation that's entry requirement wasn't the acknowledgement of an aeon. accepting the second best was a constant reminder to him, everyday when he arrived at the guild, he would be reminded of his failure.

it would have to do however. his goals didn't align with that of the aeon he desperately craved the attention of, sooner or later ratio would have to come to terms with this.

but is holding on easier than letting go?

---✩

you and veritas were colleagues.

he was your first ever research partner at the guild - you don't think the looks of pity on your other colleagues faces when it was announced that you and ratio would be working together. surely this “dr ratio” wasn't that bad?

well in some way you'd been right. ratio clearly lived up to his prestigious reputation but very quickly you learnt just why most people preferred to not work with him. he didn't exactly want to work with anyone there anyway, but the guild's main leaders were fed up with him refusing.

to his credit, ratio was incredibly credible and pulled his weight with the research. it was less surprising that the project was practically completed in no time than the fact that you and ratio were compatible research partners.

they still felt pity toward you, the likelihood being that you were now the fallback for ratio's research partner - a fate that they wouldn't wish upon you.

the only issue with ratio was that he could be rather stuck in his ways. most often he believed that he was the correct one, even if you reached the same conclusion but through your own credited means, he would strongly insist that his way was superior.

sure there were other minor things that could make the scholar rather unbearable to work with but he always made results. that you could respect, but you did have to question if he could do so while still retaining a shred of decency to his colleagues - especially you as his main research partner.

gradually, over time spent mainly as his research partner, you became “close” with ratio. compared to hw he treated other colleagues, you looked like his closest friend. but to him, that couldn't be further from the truth.

in your eyes, he was something slightly closer than a simple colleague. the amount of time you spent with him seemed to justify such an assumption. however, ratio wasn't as chummy. he saw you as a simple colleague, albeit more intelligent than the rest of them, but a colleague nonetheless - a favorite at a stretch.

although it couldn't go unnoticed to both the two of you and other intelligentsia guild members, that you both started naturally drifting toward one another. noticeably more you than him, but curiously he never pushed you away.

mainly it was you talking to him while he worked or focused on whatever else captured his. at first you never minded, instead finding his company somewhat peaceful. but his lack of actual engagement made you feel slightly insecure about always hanging around him.

ratio barely acknowledged you when you were around. eventually you started figuring that he didn't want you around, that you were only inconveniencing him but he was too polite to tell you that directly. his blunt words and seeming lack of genuine interest convinced you so - and not so long after, you stopped talking to him, returning back to a strictly research partner relationship.

it didn't take him long to realize the distance you quickly put between the two of you. ratio wanted to know why. he didn't understand why you suddenly became so absent. but he wouldn't ask. his natural pride wouldn't let him, he was sure enough that it was temporary - perhaps you had become busy and had no spare time, even if it wasn't he was sure you'd come back to him eventually.

the doctor couldn't comprehend the fact that he “cared” for you. that all that time spent as research partners had led to him developing somewhat of a bond with you - it'd never happened before, so why now? and why of all people, was it you?

a newfound realization occurred to him. your distance gave him time to think, time to realize just how much you affected him. and he didn't like it.

to ratio, he didn't understand why he felt that way around you. you shouldn't have been any more than a colleague and yet you were becoming more to him. that was a weaknesses. he despised the fact that his brain was betraying him. forcing him to think of you and it made him stop. why did you make him feel this way?

naturally, because of the new distance between the two of you, you grew apart. becoming more like colleagues again rather than close acquaintances. at first, ratio thought it was for the best. you were meant to be a colleague, nothing more.

so why was he longing for your presence?

why did he perk up when he saw you walking toward him just to feel deflated and jealous when you walked straight past him to someone else?

ratio found himself always looking for you in a crowd, just to snap himself out of it when he realized what he was doing. what was wrong with him? the doctor cursed his brain for thinking about you constantly - this wasn't like him, he needed to snap out of it.

but he couldn't. day in and day out, the smallest convenience brought his thoughts back to you and he abhorred it. maybe he should've fought more to stop being assigned a research partner, if he did, you wouldn't be a problem for him.

ratio carried on living in his state of denial, still completely confident that you would return to him at some point and everything would go back to normal. however, the longer he waited the more you practically infected his thoughts.

but he wasn't willing to come to terms with his feelings. it was a useless endeavor to try and comprehend such simple chemical signals in the brain, nothing more. they would go away eventually. ratio just needed to grasp ahold of his brain again. these feelings were only fleeting.

afterall, ratio didn't love you. he didn't even see you as anything more than a colleague. but why did he wish he could?

---✩

ratio paced past a group of guild members but slowed when he picked out your name among their hushed whispers and giggles. one member caught how the doctor slowed and smiled at him.

“i didn't peg you for a gossip enjoyer dr.ratio” his colleague almost giggled

ratio sighed and shook his head, ready to pick up his pace again and leave - why should he care about what your up to anyway. or that was his plan until another member of the gossip group urged him to listen which, he did, his curiosity getting the better of him.

they explained how only moments ago one of your colleagues confessed their love to you - to which you claimed to reciprocate. ratio didn't bother hearing the rest, instead opting to hurry over to the location of the confession with more urgency than ever.

he got there just in time to see you two together.

bitter jealousy bubbled to the front of his mind. it was an ugly emotion that only served to taunt his mistake. it made him ball his fist, nails digging into his palms and a twinge of disgust graced his features. ratio caught himself however, dropping his fists, shoulders slumping and letting his features twist into a sorrowful pain.

he stared almost slack jawed as you walked further away, hand in hand with someone that wasn't him.

and for the first time, ratio felt stupid.

rest of the "series"

taglist - @little-miss-chaoss, @frankiesteinn, @https-sourlimes

[morgana-ren]

The League of Villains are cool and interesting and deserved better not only because they were easily the most interesting characters in the entire damned manga, but also because of how their particular quirks embodied their grievances with society and their reason for becoming villains in the first place.

Tomura, born of blood and ash, his hatred for everyone so fucking intense that he makes it his literal mission to destroy the world. His quirk is decay, which destroys anything and everything he touches— even himself. It destroys him in the same way that his unabashed hatred does. It took everything from him, and now he'll use it to take everything from everyone else too. Any love he held for society decayed, ironically because of decay. The world is stagnant and wrong and he would see it rot.

Dabi, whose all-consuming hatred for his father and the society responsible for his origins burns with the rage of 1000 suns. His quirk literally eating him from the inside out, spilling uncontrollably from him like a forest fire. Rage and fury made weapon, even if the flames consume him too. His inability to let go and forgive is quite literally killing him, the inferno growing and growing until there isn't anything left to burn. Not even himself.

Toga, the abandoned child. Her quirk allows her to become someone— anyone— else. Someone who doesn't have a scary quirk. Someone who is embraced by society. Someone who wasn't abandoned and branded unlovable and left to fend for themselves in a world that neglects her at best and is actively malicious at worst. Toga is an abandoned child who probably wished she was someone else at some point— someone her parents and the world could love. Her obsession with love utterly tragic because those who were supposed to love her unconditionally cast her aside, and now she grasps with fangs and claws, drawing blood in her need to keep people near. To fight the abandonment through blood.

It's the same thing with all the rest of the villains too. Idk I just think it's neat.

[thewritingwolfie]

trusting - harvey sdv fic

pairing: Harvey x Farmer OC (September)

warnings: mentions of sex (!!MDNI!!), self-doubt & anxious thinking patterns (from Harvey), hurt comfort if there was more comfort than hurt

summary: after a night of role-switching, September can't convince Harvey to let her take care of him

word count: 1.2k

a/n: LMAO AM I FORMATTING THIS RIGHT. first time I'm ever posting a fic on like. almost anything (except i did a couple things on ao3 a bit ago but that's different). hopefully this is super cool and not cringe gang <33

~~~ Harvey wouldn’t hear anything of it.

He was standing in his apartment, nearly naked, flummoxed, and staring at a very exasperated September. She’d come to see him for the evening, but after-hours alone at the clinic usually meant things led from one thing to another. Well, most of the time, Harvey prided himself on the aftercare aspect of things after knocking her socks off. But tonight, he had not only taken on a more… submissive role, but now she was insisting she take on that caretaker role.

“No, no, September. Sit down. I can get us our usual snacks,” he said, holding up a hand to silence her protests. It was his job, in and out of this relationship, to take care of her.

September groaned, running her hands through her hair. “Harvey, love of my life, apple of my eye, I swear to Yoba.”

“What? This is what we do every time.” He went to take a step forward, having to pace himself from his wobbly legs. September hadn’t exactly spared him. “We get, ah, intimate, we wind down, and I take care of you. I don’t really understand what your problem is.”

“My problem, love, is that our dynamic was different tonight. You wobbled as you stepped, don’t think I didn’t see it,” September replied, cocking an eyebrow at his legs.

Shit. She was always an observant type. Harvey adjusted his glasses, face dusted with pink. “Well, yes, I suppose, but-”

“No buts.” She gently stepped up to him, pushing his shoulders so he fell back onto the couch in his living room. “I’ll make some snacks. Rest up.”

“September-!” he gasped, making a move to sit up. But his body, wracked with aftershocks and exhaustion, let out a protest stronger than his will. He grumbled, crossing his arms. Why was she being so insistent? 

He watched her in his tiny kitchen, pulling together some snacks on a plate. She looked so calm, so intent on doing this. Some pang of emotion shot through Harvey’s chest as he watched her move, only in her undergarments, bringing over glasses and wine and food. She was pushing herself too hard, wasn’t she? He had to step in, he had to be the chivalrous doctor everyone knew him to be-

His flurry of thoughts was interrupted by the feeling of the farmer’s body bumping his as she sat down. “Here, I got those little pickles you like so much. You should eat, you’ll feel better.”

Harvey stared at the plate. He… didn’t have an appetite. “Why?”

“Hm?” September cocked her head.

“Why are you… doing this? I mean- it’s my job. I’m a doctor, I take care of you, right?” he spoke slowly, his hands rubbing the edge of the couch nervously. “You work so hard, doing your farmwork all day, not to mention the mines, a-and running errands for the town… this is the least I can do, isn’t it?”

September watched him speak, watching his face twitch with despair as he spoke. His voice began to crack. She’d never seen him so… vulnerable. Harvey almost burned with shame. Why wasn’t she responding?

“Oh, Harv,” she whispered, reaching over to cup his cheek. “You do so much for me. I never expect you to just- to just throw yourself into caretaker mode after we mess around, dear. You deserve that same care you give to me, silly!” She laughed softly, kissing his cheek, speaking so casually as if it was information he’d know all along.

Harvey felt a soft choke of tears. How was this so easy for her to say? He couldn’t afford to let himself relax as a doctor. He never had. “September-”

She shook her head. “Hold on.” September wrapped around him, pulling him onto her chest as she laid back on the arm of the couch. “Okay, talk.”

Had he ever been held like this? Harvey opened his mouth to speak, but all he could manage was a soft whimper. The whimper gave way to the dam in his throat and behind his eyes, which gave way to a soft, strangled sob.

September startled, pulling him tight. “Oh- love, what’s wrong?” she asked softly, tangling a hand in his soft hair. “Hey, shh, shh, I’m here. Did something go wrong during our-?”

“No," he whispered softly, weakly pulling his glasses off of his face to wipe at his eyes. In front of her? He felt even more awful. “No, no, everything was- was nice, I just-" 

He let out a shaky sigh as she curled her fingers at the base of his neck, massaging it with gentle care. She hummed softly, feeling his body shake from trying to hold in his tears. “Not used to this?" she whispered, a sympathetic smile on her lips.

“I'm supposed to take care of you," he whined, hugging her waist. “Why can't I-?" 

“Because you're exhausted, Harvey. You have done so much for others today. How many checkups have you done?” she asked, not giving him a breath to answer. They both knew. "How many records have you filed?” Too many. 

Harvey buried his head in her skin, considering her. She was too soft and too comfortable to fight anymore, so he gave in. But still, mentally, he couldn't relax. “September-" 

“Harvey, can you listen to me for a second?" 

He couldn't say no, so he just nodded.

She sat up, gently propping them both against the couch in a half-up half-down position. He laid on her chest and her arms encircled him. "Okay. Look. You're a doctor. How important is after are for a patient after a medical experience such as a surgery?" 

“Vital," Harvey responded, barely thinking. It was like he was back in med school for a mere blink of an eye.

“Exactly. And if a patient has a panic attack, how important is aftercare?" 

“Still vital." 

“Uh huh. So tell me why this is different,” September said, kissing the crown of his head.

Here he fell silent. He felt September smile against his skin.

“Exactly. Harvey, you are a human as much as anyone else. No one could ever ask you to be on target 24/7. If you didn't sleep at night you'd crash and burn for sure.” She tilted his head up so his eyes met hers, smiling brighter to make sure he could see it through the fuzz of tears and the lack of glasses. “I love you. I feel no weird begrudging obligation. I will always be there to catch you when you fall. And I need you to trust that I will tell you when I can't. Can I trust you to trust me?”

His eyes flicked between the blobs that he was sure were her own. Could he trust her? With his life. So why was this so hard to swallow? Was it even safe? Was he safe?

Harvey took a slow breath. Of course he was.

"Okay,” he croaked, voice a little weak from the night. "I can.”

"Good,” September mumbled, kissing him briefly. "We can trust each other.”

Harvey hummed, sleep threatening to overtake him. He hugged September closer, burying into her skin, making her giggle against him. Maybe he couldn't be entirely sure. But even a small chance of success was worth going for, wasn't it?

Finally, fading into the soft, welcoming arms of sleep, Harvey let go for the first time.

[somethingvicked]

Forget me (not) pt 3

warnings: female reader, talk of memory loss, angst to fluff

You stared at Eddie, your head pounding from the sudden overload of information that just broke through the wall that had been there.

You felt the overwhelming love you had for Eddie, had had for so long. But you also remembered what he had told you, how he had pushed you aside like you were nothing, for Chrissy.

You pulled back, as if he had burned you and Eddie looked at you in panic, like a deer in the headlights.

“Easy, sweetheart, easy…” he started and you suddenly saw red.

“Don’t call me that!” you snapped and he paled. “I’m not your sweetheart any longer, don’t you remember? Because I sure do.”

But at the same time… Eddie had been at your side practically all this time. Why had he? Wasn’t he scared what Chrissy would think?

No, of course he wasn’t. Because he wanted to stay friends with you, he just didn’t want you to have feelings for him. And then you forgot them, a small voice in your head said.

Well, it worked out quite well for him, didn’t it?

You rose to your feet and Eddie quickly did the same, still looking at you like you were some unstable lunatic with a ticking bomb.

“Thank you for bringing me here,” you said, your voice tense. “It clearly worked. And so I guess you better go back to Chrissy, since I now remember everything.”

“Wait, no, Y/N, it’s not like that…”

“I’m back to my old self now, Eddie,” you growled at him. “You don’t need to protect me anymore or do your duty as a friend.”

“Sweetheart, me and Chrissy broke up!”

That made you stop dead in your tracks and you turned around. “You did?”

“Yeah,” Eddie nodded, panting as if he was in pain. “About two weeks after… your accident. She didn’t like that I spent all my time with you…”

You hadn’t thought it was possible for you to be more angry at him, but lo and behold!

“Are you saying it’s my fault she dumped you, Munson?!” you screeched, grimacing as the loud sound made your headache worse.

“No!” Eddie all but squeaked, “I… I’m trying to say that… being at your side was all I wanted. What happened… it made me realize… how much you mean to me. And I know I was an idiot, an insensitive dolt, a goddamn jerk! I hate myself for treating you that way and making you feel like you were not the most important person in my life! Always had been.”

By now he was nearly sobbing, tears brimming in his eyes. “When I heard what had happened… you have no idea… I thought you had died. And the last conversation I had with you was that I wished  you forgot everything.”

“And I did,” you said, shaking your head, still angry with him, but his tears and broken puppy eyes had made it go down a little. The fucker, even when he didn’t try he knew how to play you like a fiddle.

“Yes, you did. You didn’t remember me. I know I deserved it. To have you looking at me like I was a stranger, not being allowed to tickle you or carry you on my back… you remembering everyone else, but not me. I deserved that. But Y/N… please believe me when I say that you are the most important person in my life. When you left that day I sat and contemplated who I would miss more if I would never see them again – you or Chrissy. And… me never seeing Chrissy again, it didn’t made that much of a difference. But the thought of being without you, it made me… I felt shattered. I was going to call you, but then they called me and told me what had happened.”

You rubbed your temples. All of this… it was too much for you to handle right now.

“I… I need to go home,” you got out. “Think about all this.”

“I’ll drive you,” Eddie said, but you shook your head. “I want to be alone.”

“I don’t care,” Eddie said with a frown. “I’m not letting you walk home after regaining your memories and had such a shock. What if something happens? No, get in the van. I’ll drive you. We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, but you’re not walking.”

A part of you wanted to smile, both at his stubbornness and with how he cared for you. But the rest of you were still so shaky after everything that you just pushed it away.

A little while later you sat in your room, back at your desk with the photo album in front of you. Eddie had kept his promise and not talked to you the whole way home, even though he had glanced over at you at least one time every minute.

Despite having your memory back completely you felt more confused than ever.

Thankfully your mother had gone to the grocery store, thinking you were spending the day with Eddie, so you didn’t have to go through the roller coaster to tell her you were back to normal.

You weren’t sure what to do with Eddie. Remembering how he had treated you when he got together with Chrissy and his reaction when you told him how you felt about him… it made you feel heartbroken all over again but also angry.

And then… then you remembered how he had supported you and stood by you these last weeks, never quitting on you despite you not remembering anything about him, no matter how he had tried.

It felt like your head was about to explode. This was just too big and complicated for you to take on by yourself.

Usually you went to Eddie if you needed advice and talk something out but obviously that was a no go.

You didn’t want to talk to your mother either, it was enough you had to tell her your memory was back – your parents had been through hell, probably more so than you these last couple of weeks, you didn’t want to worry them even more.

After some time of contemplating you decided to call Steve. He was Eddie’s friend, he was your friend, and he knew the history between you two. He seemed like a good choice.

Steve didn’t dawdle, he arrived less than twenty minutes after you hung up. The first thing he did when you opened the door was to give you a big hug.

“I’m so happy your memory is fully recovered,” he told you with a smile. “Although I still would’ve hoped you forgot about me being King Steve forever.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle at that as you two walked up to your room.

You and Steve sat at the floor on your bedroom, backs leaned against your bed as you told him about the moment when you remembered everything, your reaction to Eddie, and how you felt so lost on what to do now.

Steve was quiet for a moment, running a hand through his hair, clearly deep in thought.

“You know I think what he did to you was really shitty. I seriously could have beaten him up for being so insensitive,” he told you, making you snort.

“But, he did tell me the same story – that even before you crashed into the tree he was imagining his life without you and without Chrissy. It was you that he almost broke down over losing. And this whole time… please forgive me for this, Y/N, but I actually told him that perhaps he should give you some space, do something else when the time went on and you didn’t remember a single thing about him. It was slowly draining him, he… he couldn’t fall asleep without looking at old pictures of you, crying.”

You were shocked. “Really?”

“Yeah. And – let me just say I didn’t exactly agree with that either – but he didn’t even look at Chrissy after your accident. Couldn’t stand to be near her. I think… I think he felt like it was his fault, what had happened to you, because he had been with her.”

“But I didn’t want him to do this because he felt guilty!” you protested.

“That’s what I said too, but he insisted that’s not why. And you know what? I believed him.”

Steve smiled at you and patted your shoulder. “Y/N, love is not easy. Everyone keeps saying it is but it’s really a fucking mess. When I was with Nancy I spray painted the sign of the cinema, calling her a slut. All because I thought she had cheated on me. The first girl I loved and I did that to her.”

You shook your head. You remembered that very clearly. It was before you and Steve became friends but you had still heard about it from the others.

“What I’m saying is… yes, Eddie was a goddamn idiot. But he realized he was and what he did wrong. And he has tried to make it right, and he will keep trying to make it right, if you let him. So… only you can decide whether you want to forgive Eddie or not, Y/N. But… perhaps you should try and do what he did. Try imagining the rest of your life without him. Does that feel like something you would be okay with?”

Your felt your breath hitch and your stomach turn into knots. A life without Eddie? It felt like… like suddenly the same feeling from your memory loss was back. Only now it wasn’t the past you missed but the future. It was only blank.

“No,” you whispered, your voice trembling.

“Then there’s your answer,” Steve told you softly.

Steve drove you to the trailer park and you walked up to the Munson’s trailer and knocked on the door.

Eddie opened, and you got the feeling of dejá vu from the last time you had come here. But Eddie sure looked different.

He looked as if he had cried, his hair a nest, as if he had ran his fingers through the curls multiple times, his knuckles bruised as if he had punched a wall.

“Y/N?” he wondered in surprise when he saw you.

“Hey,” you said, smiling weakly. “Look, Eddie…”

“Is this the moment where you… you’re going to tell me that you never want to see me again?” Eddie interrupted, his voice trembling, and it honestly broke your heart.

“No,” you told, reaching out a pushing a curl out of his face. “I… I’m still quite angry with you for what you did. But… it feels like this whole thing, what happened… it was some sort of lesson for both of us. A lesson for you to have me forget you. And a lesson for me, how it would feel to have no connection to you. The feeling, when I think back of how it felt, not knowing everything that has happened between us… it was horrible. I don’t want to be without you again, or ever forget you again. Not even the stupid thing you did, even though it makes me want to shake you.”

Eddie let out a gasp and then he all but squished you against him, holding you so hard you were sure you would have bruises.

“Oh, sweetheart…” he whispered, carefully kissing your temple. The bruises were healed but he remembered them all too vividly, kissing every spot where they had been.

“I’m so sorry for what I did. And for how I behaved when I started dating Chrissy. I just… I guess I got caught up with how it felt that someone popular actually wanted me. And in the back of my head I always thought you and I would have more time. I was an idiot, I know that. I will never make that mistake again.”

He inhaled before he continued: “And I’m so sorry that I never realized… that you loved me. I… I wished I had realized it sooner but I didn’t…”

You shushed him. “I know. That’s what I mean, that maybe the accident happening… it was a wake up call for both of us.”

Eddie nodded. “Yes. I’ve always loved you, sweetheart. But it’s more than that. You… you’re my person. The reason why it has never worked out with any other girl. Why I couldn’t see a future with Chrissy. Because you were the one.”

Now it was your turn to blink back tears.

Eddie suddenly pulled something from his pocket. Your eyes widened when you saw it was the dried flower from the scene of the accident.

“I found it in the van, on the passenger seat,” Eddie said. “I want you to have this and save it. As a reminder, that you will never forget me again. And as a promise from me, that I will never forget you’re the only one I want.”

You smiled, and placed the blue Forget-me-not behind your ear.

“The only one?”

“The only one,” Eddie promised, sealing it with a kiss.

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[ashleyfilm]

Seeing Clearly - Chapter 11. Joel

Hi Everyone! This is one is a bit different. We're gonna start with Joel's POV and then switch back to our dear Ash's POV. It will be clearly labeled. Enjoy!

Chapter Warnings: cursing, smut, softDom Joel, sub Ash, name calling during sex, light degradation, spanking, unprotected PIV, oral female and male receiving, all consensual - Minors - DNI

Characters: Jackson!Joel Miller x F!OC Plus Size Reader

Chapter Summary: Joel finds you after the incident with Ryan. 4.2K

Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch 5 Ch 6 Ch 7 Ch 8 Ch 9 Ch 10

Chapter 11. Joel

Joel’s POV

Goddammit, how did this happen? How did he let this happen? How did he fail him again? He’s his little brother and he needs to take care of him. “Tommy, tell me who did this?” Tommy looks at Joel and sighs. Suddenly, the door opens, and Ellie enters like she’s on a sugar high. “Don’t worry, she took care of it,” Ellie says with a smile after she looks around and sees that Maria is no longer present. Joel’s mouth is a hard line, “What happened?” Ellie, just to be sure says, “Where’s Maria?” Tommy answers this time, “She’s down talking to some town leaders.” Ellie continues, “Okay, so Ash went to talk to Ryan,” Joel slams his hand down on the table and looks at Tommy, “Ryan did this?” Tommy gives him a look. Ellie, “Yeah, so she went into the cell with Ryan, and I don’t know what she said to him, but he looked so scared of her, it was awesome. By the time I got there, she had like clawed his face and then she said something else to him and he was crying, and she bit part of his ear off and spit it In! His! Face! It was the coolest thing I’ve ever seen.” “And that guy Bill, he escorted him out. So, I guess that’s that.”

Before anyone could respond, Joel walks out the front door as he says, “Ellie, stay with Tommy!” He walks as quickly as he can to your apartment, immediately knocking on your door. Impatient, he knocks again, and then the door whips open and you’re there. Your hair is damp from a shower, you’re wearing the sleeveless guns and roses shirt that you found with Joel when you were first here. With jeans that hugged your thighs and ass so nice. He’s speechless, you’re so fucking beautiful. He’s thought that since the day he found you covered in blood. He wanted you from the moment you first busted his balls. It took everything in him not to breakdown the door to your room in him house and fuck you that first night you slept there. He didn’t think he deserved you, he didn’t think you’d ever want him if you knew who he truly was. But now he sees that you’re the same. You did what he would have done, in your way, and he will be grateful to you for how you defended his brother for the rest of his days.

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Ash's POV

“Joel?” you say quietly. He looks at your face in a way you’ve never really seen before. His eyes are at once, beautiful, lusty, warm, and loving. He grabs your face in his big hands and his lips crash into yours. God, his lips are amazing. He pushes you inside the door and kicks it closed from the inside. Pushing you against the little table in your kitchenette, he starts to kiss your neck and palms your plump ass with both his hands. “I love this shirt on you,” Joel says into your neck. “Oh yeah?” you breathe out. “Yeah, you look hot, but I want it off,” Joel says as he pulls it up at the hem. You lift your arms up and let him take it off and throw it to the side. You’re not wearing a bra. He looks entranced by your heavy breasts, then reaches both hands and lifts one to feel the weight in his hands, the other he thumbs your nipple. “Fuck,” he groans, and you smile. “Okay, yours too, fair’s fair,” you sigh and start to take his shirt off as well. And he smiles and laughs, and you see that dimple and you cup your hand on his cheek. God, he’s just the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen.

For a second you worry, what if he pushes you away after this, what is this? He seems to notice the change in your eyes, and he holds your hand against his cheek, turns his mouth into your palm and kisses you there, never breaking away from your eyes. Then he pulls you close and your breasts touch his chest, and it feels sexual but also comforting and sweet. He smells your hair and holds you for so long, rubbing his hands down your back, while your hands move to his ass and squeeze. Which makes him chuckle. But then he stills, “Thank you, for what you did for Tommy. You…okay?” You sigh and run your nails up and down his lower back lightly, “So, Ellie spilled the beans? I’m sorry, Joel, I didn’t see her follow me and I-” he cut you off. “Don’t apologize, she’s seen worse. The little psycho loved it, I think she might be obsessed with you now, if she wasn’t already.”

“I’m fine, I’ve seen worse too,” you say, and he finally pulls back just enough to look at you. “You wanna tell me about that?” he asks as he pushes your hair behind your ear. And you nuzzle into his touch, “Maybe another time when both our tits aren’t out.” You lean in a put your mouth around his nipple, biting lightly. Then his hands fly to the button on your jeans as he moans, “You’re right, let’s take advantage of this first.” The two of you are giggling now, pulling at each other’s pants until you’re both just in your underwear, your little black ones that your ass has eaten up a little, Joel in little black boxer briefs. His fucking thighs, good lord. Your hands are all over each other and you’re making out like two wild animals. The next you know the back of your legs hit your mattress. Joel breaks your kiss to look at you. He looks like he wants to devour you, and you think you want him to.

“Lay on the bed,” he commands, and you obey laying back in just your underwear. He stands at the end of the bed towering over you. He’s so big, so intimidating, covered in scars but he’s so beautiful and you feel so safe. He gets down on his knees and pulls you to the end of the bed. “You good?” he breathes. “Yeah, I’m so good,” you gasp. He nods, like you gave him the green light and now there’s no holding back. He brings his face into your clothed pussy and inhales, “God, I missed you.” He says looking directly between your legs. He takes his time pulling at the waistband of your underwear and dragging them down your legs. Instinctually, you start to close your knees but he’s quick to stop you, pushing them apart, “Gotta get a good look at her, sweetheart.” He uses his thumbs to pull your folds apart and look inside. No one has ever inspected you like this, it’s strange but it feels so sensual. “Oh, baby, you’re already so wet.” Joel says in an almost pitying way. “Need my help, pretty girl?” he asks as he looks into your eyes, and you feel his hot breath on your leaking hole. You nod, and of course he demands, “Baby, I need to hear your words. Answer me when I speak to you, you understand?” A shiver runs down your spine and even more slick starts to collect at your entrance. “Yes, I need your help, Joel,” you whine, and he says, looking back at your wet cunt, “You like that, don’t you? You like when I tell you what to do. Interesting, you’re such a pain in my ass out there, but in here, you just want to be my good girl, don’t you?” You bite your lip, and then remember your instructions, “Yes, I want to be your good girl, Joel.” “Good,” he says.

Then he takes his hot, wet, tongue and licks into your folds, groaning, “You taste so good, fuck, baby. I could lay here and just taste you for hours.” “Joel,” you gasp, and he starts to press his tongue as far inside your hole as he can, fucking you with his tongue. He then takes one of your hands and puts it to your breast to squeeze. Your other hand flies into his curls, scratching and rubbing at his scalp. His hands are holding your hips and ass from underneath you, pushing your pussy into his face while he continues working you with his tongue, his perfect nose is nudging your clit. Then he brings his mouth away, and spits down onto your opening. “Joel, fuck,” you gasp. “Mmm hmm,” he grunts and moves his mouth up to your bundle of nerves and sucks hard while he slides two thick fingers inside and almost immediately you say, “Joel, I’m gon-, I’m gonna, fuck, I’m coming!” You scream as your body winds so tight, and you fall completely apart groaning and moaning so loudly. Joel licks up everything you give him, you end up having to pull him off you then he looks up at you breathing heavy and smiling at you, “You came so fast, baby, that was incredible. I can’t believe the sounds I can get you to make, fuck. Jus’ perfect.”

You’re breathing hard while Joel rests his head on your thick thigh and rubs his hand along your belly, your hip and down your leg. You’ve still got your hand in his hair, it’s so incredibly soft. Joel starts to stand up and you sit up. He starts to take your glasses off, but you stop him saying, “No, I need to see.” Then you pull at the waist band of his underwear, “Why are these still on?” He smirks at you and starts to take them off and you lay back propped up on your elbows. He stands back to his full height, completely naked, and what a sight. His cock is at attention, thick, long, big. Not scary big, but like you know you’re gonna feel it the next day big. Your lips part and you stare, “Enjoying the view?” Joel asks with a smirk. You respond immediately, “My god Joel, no wonder you walk around like you do, all confident and bitchy.” He chuckles and then he looks serious again, “Get on your hands and knees.” You do it immediately facing the headboard of your bed.

Joel is basically growling from behind you. You look over your shoulder at him, you know you must look so fucked out. He smiles at you, while stroking his cock. You can’t pull your eyes away. “On second thought, why don’t come over here and get me nice and wet with that smart mouth of yours,” he says with a chuckle as he smacks your ass and then palms the cheek with his hand. You turn around and kneel on the bed eye level with his cock. You take your glasses off and hand them to him smiling. “Don’t need these now.” Joel groans, “Fuck, baby, you are such a good girl in here, so well-behaved. Now, open up.” Joel takes his dick in his hand and brings it to rest on your tongue and starts tapping and you love it. You didn’t think you could get any more wet, but you could feel it on your thick inner thighs. You wrap your mouth around the head to taste him and moan around him. He grabs your hair together at the nape of your neck holding you there, groaning above you. You use your tongue to lick the underside of his dick, putting wet slopy kisses over his cock. You whine as he pulls you off him, “Okay, okay, we can do more of that another time, but I need ‘ta be inside you now. Inside her,” he coos as he brings his hand between your legs and smacks your lips, and you moan.

You move to get back on your hands and knees, but he stops you with a hand on your back and says, “Changed my mind, want you ‘ta ride me, first.” He sits on the bed with his back against the headboard. His dick throbbing and still wet from your mouth. Joel smacks his thigh, “Come on up here, baby.” You crawl up to him and straddle him with your knees on the outside of his thighs. He starts maneuvering you, grabbing your ass and pulling you up so your stomach pushes up against his cock and his tummy. His mouth finds yours and he kisses you passionately, while he lifts you by your hips and lines his cock up with you, hitting your clit first and you shiver. Then he notches at your opening and starts to help you slide all the way down over his cock. “Ooo fuck.” “Damn baby.” You both moan out together at the feeling. “Fuck, she’s so tight, uhnnn perfect fuckin’ cunt.” Joel stumbles over his words. Your eyes are squeezed shut, reveling in the feeling of Joel inside you, finally. “God, I’m so full, oh, it feels so good, Daddy.” Your eyes fly open in shock at what you said and Joel stills. When you look up into his eyes, they look fully black, he notices your fear and starts thrusting up into you hard and says, “How does Daddy feel? Tell me, now.” And you respond holding onto his shoulders for leverage as you start bouncing on him, “So good, Daddy, you’re so big.”

Joel growls and watches your heavy tits bounce in front of his face. Taking one of your breasts into his wet, warm mouth. And now that you’re bouncing on his cock on your own, his hands roam all over your body and moves the hair out of your face. “Wanna see you when you come on my cock, beautiful. Think you can come like this, baby?” You nod, unable to speak, and he doesn’t press you to use words. “Yeah? Yeah, Daddy’s dick making you feel so good, so full you’re gonna come all over me, yeah? Just a slut for Daddy’s cock? Come for me, do it. Come. Now.” And you do, with a slur of moans, fucks, daddys, Joels. He fucks you through it, and you bury your face in his neck. And he pets your hair and holds you close. “So good baby, you did so good for me. But we’re not done, are we?” You shake your head into his shoulder. He lays you back on the bed with your head on the pillow and walks into the kitchen, you barely hear him doing something in there, trying to bring yourself back down to earth.

Next thing you know, Joel is sitting down next to you on the bed pulling you up gently by the arm to sit you up and holds out a glass of water for you. Meanwhile his raging hard on catches your eye. After he helps you gulp down a few sips of water, he sets the glass on your nightstand next to the black wolf. You see him smile shyly when he turns back to you. He notices some water falling down your chin, and his smile widens, he reaches up and wipes the water away and licks his thumb and gives you a sweet kiss as you reach out to touch his length. He groans into your mouth and says, “Oh, you want more already, honey? You sigh, “I want to take care of you, Joel.” He smiles while he says, “Don’t you mean, Daddy?” You giggle, “Shut up…Daddy!” Then you’re both laughing, and he lies you back down. “I do really like it, you callin’ me that. You can do it any time you like, ya hear me?” He says leaning over you. “Yeah, I could tell you liked it,” you say reaching up to rub your fingers through his hair. “You could? Well, you’re the one who said it, Oooh Daddy,” he says imitating you in the throes of passion.

You slap his chest lightly and turn on your side like you’re angry, but he can’t see the little smile on your face. “Baby…” he rubs your arm and kisses your shoulder, “I didn’t mean it, you know how much I fuckin’ love all the things you say and the sounds you make, you drive me fucking crazy with that.” Your shoulders start to shake as you laugh, he pulls you to your back and sees that you’re laughing. “You little brat, you scared me. I thought you were mad, ughhhh. Come here.” He pulls you over his lap with your head down and your ass up. “You know what happens to little brats?” He says tracing his fingers over your plump ass. “What happens, Daddy?” you coo over your shoulder at him. That’s when he smacks your ass hard with his big hand. “Brats get punished, baby,” he says and smacks you again and again. “Oooh, Daddy, fuck,” you moaned. “God, I knew you’d like this, such a bad girl.”

After a few more sharp smacks, Joel teases you with his fingers from behind and it feels like heaven. “Oh my god, Joel,” you gasp as he runs his fingers lightly up your back with his other hand. “Feel good? Tell me. Tell me how it feels,” he says low and rumbly. “It feels different and messy and so, so good. Need more,” you choke out in between whines and groans. “Oh, you need more? Okay, baby. I’ll give you more,” Joel says in this pitying way you just melt for. Joel then moves you back to lay your head on the pillow and he climbs on top of you, making you feel overwhelmed with him, his fucking scent which is magnified by the way your bodies are working together. It’s intoxicating and you feel like you’re in a fever dream. “Give me this leg baby,” he groans as he notches his dick at your center and pushes your leg behind your knee against your chest, folding you. He pushes in so slowly and you feel everything. Every inch, every vein, everything. You’re both moaning and moving your hips to meet each other. You didn’t know anything could ever feel like this. Feel this good and right and perfect. His right hand comes up to cup your cheek and make you look into his eyes. He’s close enough that you can see him and see the warmth and depth in his eyes. It’s like his eyes are trying to communicate with you, tell you he’s here, that he’s not leaving. You want to believe it so badly. But he’s hurt you before. With a hard and deep thrust the worries are taken from your mind and you turn yourself over to him, surrendering completely. Letting him inside, taking the risk. He kisses you then. And now all the words are gone, it’s just your moans, his grunts, his whimpers. You know this is something different, something special not just for you, but for him as well. He takes two fingers and puts them in your mouth, wetting them on your tongue and then his hand moves between your bodies, finding your clit with ease. Rubbing them easily into you, mixing your spit with your slick and you know you’re going to come apart again. He finally speaks but his voice is quiet and soft, “I know, I know, it’s okay, let go.” And you do, completely blind with pleasure. Your muscles contract and everything feels so good you don’t ever want it to stop. Joel continues the movements of his hips and his fingers. When it feels like you can’t go any higher, you’re hit with another wave of pleasure even stronger than the last, screaming Joel’s name into his neck. Joel is quickly coming apart and he asks, “Where? Tell me, where?” You can barely think but you respond, “Inside. Please.” And he releases, rope after warm rope of himself into you like a splash, and you think you might come again from the feeling.

You both breathe and try to come back down to reality. You don’t know how long it takes but he slips out of you, and you feel him dripping from your center. He takes the time to look at what he’s done, he looks mesmerized. He looks back at you, a tear coming out of your eye down the side of your face onto the pillow, he wipes it away and then grabs the glass of water to hand to you. He walks into your bathroom, and you hear the water running, he comes back with a warm washcloth and cleans you up and then himself. Setting the cloth back in the bathroom he comes back to join you. Taking the water and finishing it himself. “Can I hold you?” he asks quietly. You nod and he pulls you into his arms, your face in his neck, legs tangling together, he kisses your forehead as he tells you to rest, and you do.

-------------------------

You wake up what feels like a couple of hours later, cold, alone. Of course he left. Did it even really happen, or had it been some dream to torture you? Suddenly you hear your door opening quietly, you sit up in bed, tears in your eyes and the sheets pulled up to cover your chest. Joel walks in, you can tell by his outline, and you reach for your glasses. He sees you and speaks, “Oh, you’re up. I thought I’d be back before you woke up. Had ‘ta go see Ellie, make sure she was okay. Hey, what’s wrong?” He walks over to you quickly cradling your face in his hands and wiping away your tears. You speak looking away from him, “I thought you left me. I didn’t think you were coming back.” He sighs, that classic Joel sigh but it’s not harsh or exhausted, this one is laced with guilt. “I’m so sorry. Look, I need to say something to you right now,” he sighs again and moves to hold your hands, waiting for you to look him in the eyes. “I know I’ve hurt you; I’ve disappointed you; I’ve pushed you away. I’ve acted like an asshole, well, I am an asshole. But I’ve lost so much, not more than others, but I lost my daughter the night of the outbreak, I hesitated, and I couldn’t save her. I’ve never forgiven myself and it… it tore me apart.” Tears start to form in his big brown eyes, and you hold his hand a little tighter. “It was just her and I, Sarah, she was perfect. And I didn’t think I could live without her. I tried to end it, but I couldn’t. The man I became after that, I was so dead inside, but so angry at the same time. I enjoyed hurting people; I liked causing pain to people I thought deserved it. Then I met Ellie, and she changed me, reminded me of Sarah, gave me a reason to try again. I love that girl and some of the worst things I’ve ever done, I did to save her.” Joel takes a deep breath, forcing himself to keep looking at you. Then, I meet you, and you made me want things I haven’t really wanted since before Sarah was born. But I didn’t think you would want me if you knew who I was. But I’m starting to think I was wrong, that you understand, and you do see me. And I hope you still want me. Because you’re all I want.” Your breath catches in your throat, and he grabs your hands tighter and pulls you closer. “I think about you every minute. I dream about you every night. I want to hold you, protect you, feed you, fuck you, listen to you talk, and show everyone in this town that you belong to me. If that’s what you want. If you can forgive me.”

You slowly start to smile, small just barely but he catches it, and now both of you have a tear streak down your cheek. “Joel, I forgive you. You make me feel safe. Sometimes you even make me forget all the bad shit that’s happened to me. I see how you are with Ellie and Tommy, and me, I guess I know that now. I want to be with you. All of you, every part. I wish I could have met Sarah. I can’t even imagine how much she loved you, Joel but I can feel it.” He kisses you then, slowly, tenderly. He takes a deep breath, and says, “I wish you could have known her; she would have loved you. Ash, baby, I lo-.”

There’s a loud knock at the door and then Ellie’s voice, “JOEL!! ASH!! Open up!” Joel runs to the door as you start to pull your clothes back on. He opens and Ellie’s breathing heavy like she just ran here, “Knew you’d be here.” She wags her eyebrows at both of you. Joel frowns and grunts out, “Ellie, what’s so damn important?” Ellie’s eyes go wide like she just remembered why she came here in the first place, “Oh yeah, uh, Maria’s in labor.” Joel looks at you with eyes of panic, your mouth opens in shock. After a few seconds you collect yourself and pull on your boot finally fully dressed, “Let’s go, Uncle Joel!” He smiles, giddy, so does Ellie. Joel grabs your hand in his and then the three of you run out of your place to go find Maria and Tommy.

Taglist: @somedayheaven@guelyury@elegantduckturtle@indiegirlunited@cheekychaos28 @ghostofzion @harriedandharassed @missladym1981 @littlemisspascal @brittmb115

[icallhimjoey]

supreme leader, would you ever write a sequel to ‘ground rules’ where our baby with joe is here and it’s just a cutesy dad!joe moment? (also wouldn’t be opposed to some smutty times as well bc i just can’t go past gotta-be-quiet-cause-the-baby’s-sleeping-but-fuck-i-want-you-right-now-new-parent-smut) heart you, as always!!

we're switching gears, everyone! sorry for the whiplash! Wordcount: 3K

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Only Have Eyes For You

(read Ground Rules here)

Joe has yet to stop staring at her.

It’s either eyes on her, or eyes on you, and even though you’re gorgeous and make his chest swell beyond what he thought his ribs could ever manage, looking at her is different.

New.

“Will you keep an eye on her?”

“Yea, of course I will. Get some rest, please, baby.”

It’s been over an hour, and he still needs to raise a thumb up to wipe a tear from an inner corner about every thirty seconds. For several reasons, too.

It’s been five hours since you’ve given birth, and both sets of grandparents – grandparents – have left evidence of their visit all over the room. There’s balloons, cards, flowers, bags with gifts in for you and for the newborn baby girl and Joe feels like they brought too much and too little. Were there for too long but left too soon. Should’ve been there right after instead of two hours later, but also maybe should’ve come to meet the baby tomorrow instead of today.

He wants to protect and hide her from the world, but also needs everyone to see how gorgeous she is.

Five-hour old baby, fast asleep in her clear plastic bed that’s been placed right next to your hospital bed where you’re asleep even faster.   

He’s got no idea how much sleep he’s gotten over this weekend. Doesn’t care, either. Just knows that he’s staring at perfection no matter which way he looks, and that the small of his lower back aches because he’s been sitting in it weird, but this is the only way he can both touch you and see her little face.

Her perfect little face.

Joe’s got a hand around your ankle as you lie passed out in your hospital bed, finally in what seems to be a deeper sleep rather than just a quick nap, and he wishes you could stay like that for at least the next ten hours. He knows it doesn’t work like that with a newborn, and you’re obviously in a hospital which doesn’t help, but God, you deserve to sleep for a fucking lifetime.

Everything that surrounds you looks and sounds normal, so he guesses your blood pressure must be okay, but he keeps his ears pricked, just to be sure.

The birth was a long one. Almost everything you had tried preparing for hadn’t happened in the way you’d expected, which is what everyone kept telling you was going to happen, and it felt fitting with how the two of you had even gotten together.

It was a good thing you managed to pull through most of the labour with humour.

Doctors and nurses had started making jokes of you becoming permanent residents when your dilation had halted at 6 centimeters for ages, and in return, you had started making jokes that they were going to have to start knocking before coming in, because you knew of a way to induce the labour that Joe would feel more comfortable about if he had some privacy.

“No, no, I do not–” Joe had immediately protested the first time you’d cracked the joke, and the lack of laughter coming from him plus your weird eyebrow wiggle had only made the nurses laugh louder.

“Sorry to inform you,” the doctor said in the middle of giving you another check. “But having sex will not cause labour to begin before your body is ready for delivery.”

“It won’t?” You’d acted all heartbroken. Made Joe mutter, “Jesus Christ!” under his breath, because, you were six centimeters dilated for fuck’s sake. Of course he wasn’t going to have sex with you.

“We’re still not in labour, are we?” the doctor said, insinuating that he thought you had probably tried it at home already.

“Ask him how many times we’ve had sex...” you’d challenged, and you could hear Joe groan from the corner of the room where he was sort of pacing around, facing the wall more than the room, because there was another man with fingers deep inside of your vagina, talking to you about sex.

“Can we please focus on—” Joe started, equally as embarrassed as he was humoured.

“Once.” You answered your own question and gestured at your stomach. “One time! All it took!”

It had become a running joke between the two of you that Joe didn’t think you were going to involve so many other people in. Joe had gotten you pregnant and then hadnt touched you since.

Not true, there had been plenty of touching. But you were super pregnant when you’d gotten together and it never felt right for Joe to insert parts of himself into parts of you that felt like they belonged to a whole different person for the time being.

Which actually made a lot of sense to you.

It was just unfortunate that hormones had made you super horny for half the pregnancy.

Hence why it had become a running joke.

One that really annoyed Joe, but you were lucky that he loved to see you smile more.

When the two of you were left alone again, Joe scolded you through a smile and pressed kisses to your temple, because you were being funny and entertaining even though you’d just gotten bad news. Again.

Joe touched your stomach, and pressed his cheek to yours as he looked down at it and said, “You’ve made it too nice in there. She doesn’t want to come out.”

“Remember when we were like, let’s do this as friends...” you joked, but Joe could hardly focus on your light tone of voice when you grabbed hold of his bicep with a strong grip.

“Idiots.” Joe commented, finding your hand and covering it with his.

“I think we would’ve been able to do it, but—”

“You think?”

“Yea. I was very determined. But, this is nicer.” You smiled and made eye-contact with Joe. He was quick with a tissue, to dab at your wet eyes. He’d learnt to be ready for every and any emotion over the past few days; everything and anything could bring you to tears.

“I wouldn’t have been able to do it.” Joe said, smiling. “I was already sort of head over heels if I’m honest. You were determined for two, I think.”

That had made you burst into actual sobs.

The last hour of giving birth, you’d cried non-stop. A weird silent steady leaking of water from your eyes as you struggled through the delivery. Joe guessed it was the pain – had to be, because, what the fuck was even going on? How the fuck had nature decided that this was meant to be normal? But then finally, when soft baby cries filled the room, one of the nurses said, “You’re there, you’re done. Relax, we’ll take it from here.” And he’d realized then that it they were tears of exhaustion over anything else.

You’d been going for hours, and then your blood pressure did something funny after the placenta got removed, so now they wanted to keep you for a bit, which was scary. But going home with a newborn sounded even scarier, if he was honest... so he wasn’t going to complain about how uncomfortable his chair was.

Or how tired he felt.

He’d been going for hours too, but his tired was different from your tired. He could feel it in his bones, sure, but it was easy to keep his eyes open. Easy to keep staring at her. Easy to do jobs whenever someone asked him to do one.

“Mum’s done. Now, dad, come here. Pay attention.” 

And he has not been able to stop paying attention yet. He’s listening to your breathing, paying close attention to the rhythm because you’re the priority after all that’s happened. Yet he can’t keep his eyes off of his baby.

There’s a baby next to your bed.

The one he watched you gave birth to.

Your baby.

His baby.

He thumbs another tear from the corner of his eye before it leaves a wet trail down his face and uses his sleeve to dry both his eyes as he pushes his nose into his elbow for a second, not letting go of your ankle.

Life is ridiculous.

He still feels emotional over seeing you screaming and crying, in pain and all sweaty. You’d performed a miracle, but it was no fun to witness how difficult the whole thing was on you. Had he not already convinced you to be with him, he would have started that quest today and would’ve likely never stopped.

When he blinks his eyes back into focus, it’s to you stirring in the white sheets of your hospital bed.

He freezes.

Maybe if he holds his breath and doesn’t make a single noise, you won’t wake up. He’s not sure how easy it’ll be to fall back asleep if you pull from your unconscious state completely. He wasn’t there when it happened – had gotten hauled off to help wash and dress his baby (the tiniest clothes he’d ever seen still to big no her, he was leaking tears as he tried to put the socks on and hated how you weren’t there to see it) – but he was informed that you lost a lot of blood and needed a lot of stitching.

After going through all of that, you’d needed stitching.

Your baby had been taken to get cleaned up, and you’d told Joe to go with her. To watch her. To stay with her and to not lose her out of his sight.

He’d listened.

Knew better than to tell you no.

But then you were left on your own, and you’d needed stitching.

You can’t move without wincing now, and Joe could probably jog home if he really wanted to. How is that fair?

Joe holds his breath, and watches you stretch your back in your sleep before you relax again.

But then suddenly, your slow movements turn jumpy as you jolt awake with a gasp. It makes Joe jump almost just as much, which narrowly makes him avoid your knee to his face.

He watches you wince in pain, clearly uncomfortable, but then you immediately sink back into the mattress when your eyes find the clear plastic baby bed that holds your child, and you release a relieved breath.

“My God,” Joe whispers, already smiling at what just happened. “She’s still here, calm down.”

“Sorry,” you croak, curling a hand around the edge of the hard plastic and Joe watches your knuckles go white.

“You okay?” Joe’s already up on his feet, hand on your face to wipe your hair back.

With your eyes still closed and head slumped to the side, you softly answer, “My vagina hurts.”

“Yea, of course.” Joe nods, unable to look at you without all the sympathy in the world displayed on his forehead. “Do you need anything for the pain?”

“I need to pee, but I don’t want to. It’s already burning.”

“I’ll go get someone.”

“Please.”

Joe gets a nurse in, and he helps you get out of the bed before you’re helped over to the toilet. Not before you tell Joe to watch her. Watch the baby.

“I’ll keep an eye,” Joe says, because he’s already found it’s his new favourite thing to do. To stare at her. “Go pee.”

The door to the bathroom is left open, and Joe listens to your conversation as he does as he’s told.

It’s a lot of, “Careful, mum. Careful. Slow movements.” coming from her, and a lot of hissing in between your teeth from you. A lot of, “Is this normal?” questions coming from you, and a lot of “If you feel this, it’s probably for this reason, which is totally normal.” answers from the nurse.

Joe gets the room and the fresh new little person all to himself for a second, and he leans all the way over your bed, feet still on the floor, his head resting in both hands as he slowly blinks at what you’ve created together.

He can’t get over how you’ve made this.

Two people have just gone and accidentally made a whole new person... it’s legitimately insane, Joe thinks.

The peeing takes longer than Joe thought it would take. He doesn’t blame you for taking your time, but he hopes that you figure out how to do it without being in pain or needing any help before you get to go home.

Joe hears a shocked gasp coming from you before you softly ask, “That’s a lot of blood. Is that a lot of blood?” followed by a toilet flushing and a reassuring, “Absolutely totally normal. Don’t worry.”

Baby is still asleep. Soundly and so peacefully, small tiny nose doing a perfect job at breathing, Joe’s already so proud of her it’s stupid.

“Well done, mum! First bathroom visit!” the nurse claps her hands together and laughs when you give a sarcastic yay in faux celebration.

You’re miserable, but Joe can hear your smile through everything and it makes his heart swell even more with pride. For you. For urinating. He’s proud because you peed, what the hell.

He shares his first secret smile with his daughter. “Mummy peed!”

You get helped back into your underwear and joggers, and Joe lets his view distract him enough that he almost doesn’t hear what you ask just before you step back into the room.

“Six weeks before sex, right?”

You’re joking, but Joe hears the serious confusion when the nurse asks, “Oh, have you not been talked through—”

“We have. Don’t listen to her.” Joe interrupts, and when he looks over his shoulder to see you shuffle back over to the bed, he catches the cheeky smile you’re trying to hide.

Before he can say anything else about how he’ll have you wait twelve weeks if you keep bringing it up, he catches your eyes flash in pain, just from your small shuffling steps, and he’s up in an instant. Pushes himself from your bed and turns to place both hands under your arms to make sure you’re safe.

You hold onto him like a lifeline and pause in place for a moment.

God, the labour is done. Can you have a single second without any uncomfortable sharp pulling down there? Jesus.

You don’t see how Joe and the nurse share a look over your shoulder. The nurse is smiling at him, and Joe gives her a tired shake of his head as he rolls his eyes, quietly communicating that the girl he’s chosen to have a baby with is an actual menace.

“Maybe eight weeks?” Joe carefully jokes, hoping it’ll get you to laugh and forget about how sore you’re feeling for a second. Instead you just sigh and go, “Yea, maybe.”

You’re helped back into bed by four hands, shuffle slowly into position and leave enough room for Joe to join you.

You’re sore and tired and in a weird emotional state, and it’s simply much nicer to be all of those things squeezed tightly up against him. Joe knows to curl into you and lays an arm over your pillow for you to place your head on. It gives the both of you the perfect view of your baby.

Your baby.

You feel a flash of want for her. To have her in your arms. Against your chest. To hold and hug and keep her close. But she’s asleep and you’re not quite sure what to do when she wakes up. What if she cries and you can’t get her to stop? This is safer.

You can both just watch her.

“I’ll be back in thirty minutes,” the nurse says after checking a file, and you ask, “To help me feed her?”

The nurse smiles, says, “Yea sure, that too.” and leaves.

You make a funny face, confused, and look at Joe like you think she was being rude.

“To check on you.” Joe softly says, and your face drops immediately.

“Oh. Yea. But I feel fine, now.” your focus is barely on yourself. There’s this whole other brand new human to be worried about.

“Hmm. Okay. Think you can sneak a little more sleep before she’s back?”

“Probably not.” you say, but Joe sees how you close your eyes anyway. Feels how you carefully move your hips back a little to feel more of Joe against your body. Feels how you grab onto his arm to firmly press it into your stomach that’s still big and round, but all soft and squishy now.

“Can you try?” Joe whispers, lips touching the shell of your ear.

“Will you watch her?” you’re already sinking away. Joe’s body heat is pulling you under quicker than he’d anticipated.

“Of course I will,” Joe says, but lies, and watches you for a moment instead. You’re his priority. Thinks it’s silly how you wouldn’t accept that if he told you. “I’ll watch her.” he confirms, not lying then, because he’s talking to your baby as he says it.

Joe watches you until he feels you drop of the deep end. Feels you relax in a way he’s not felt you relax in ages.

After a while Joe repeats, “I’ll watch her.” in a barely-there whisper before he places a barely-there kiss against your cheek as you sleep.

His eyes move back to the small baby girl in the room.

Joe’s eyes well up again.

It’s stupid how even just the sight of her feels new and unexpected again. Like he’s seeing her for the first time once more.

And he simply finds that, once again, it’s so easy to stare.

Finds he can’t stop staring.

“Yea, I’ll keep an eye,” Joe whispers to himself. Thumbs another tear from his inner corner before it can run down his face and bother you.

“I’ll keep an eye.”

---

The Taglisted

@alwayslindie, @babybluebex, @capricornrisingsstuff, @chaoticgood-munson, @demonsanddemogorgons

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@everythinghasafacee, @ferfan14, @figmentofquinn, @ghost-proofbaby, @gri959

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@sweetberry47, @take-everything-you-can, @thebellenouvelle, @tlclick73, @werepartnersnow

@witchwolflea, @yunirgo

add yourself

[alrightbuckaroo]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love 💞

Hi Rae! I always think "Rae of Sunshine" when I hear your name ☀️ I hope you've been doing well and taking care of yourself <3 I'm going to tag @bonheur-cafe as she was kind enough to send an ask too <3

love can pull you out of yesterday

The day TK falls through the ice is a day that Carlos doesn't want to remember, but it's one he can't forget. It's the day he's currently stuck living over and over and over again.

summer slipped us underneath her tongue

TK Strand is a freshly heartbroken art history student who's been given the opportunity of a lifetime; studying art in the heart of it all, Paris, France. However, he thinks it's a cruel taunt from the universe. He's studying what he loves so much in the city of love but is stuck thinking there's no one out there who loves him. Carlos Reyes is a career driven culinary student studying at Le Cordon Bleu. He has hard time maintaining relationships, an even harder time of detaching himself from his work and and has an awful habit of doubting everything about himself. After a night out that they end up sharing with each other; they agree to keep any and all things casual. Well, like most things, that's easier said than done.

tender eyes that shine

“No llores, nieto,” Carlos’ abuelo tells him during the wake of his abuela's funeral. His abuelo crouches down, his joints cracking and popping as he stoops to Carlos’ eye level. He raises a calloused thumb and wipes away the tears that are still falling from Carlos’ wide brown eyes. “Men like us,” His abuelo continues, his words casting a wide net. “We don’t let the world pity us, we can’t let them see us as soft.” Carlos nods, wiping away any new tears that are starting to fall. The right sleeve of his charcoal gray suit now comes away colored a staunch black where Carlos’ tears have dampened it. For some reason, the way his abuelo says ‘soft’ ricochets off of Carlos, as if it were stone and Carlos is a thin sheet of glass nestled into a window pane. It’s left a dent, an imprint, an impression, but hasn’t done enough damage to cause a crack. Carlos’ bloodshot eyes shine with hesitation as he asks, voice small and insecure, “Reyes men don’t cry? “Reyes men don’t cry,” His abuelo confirms.

29 Going on 30

During a trip to New York City to celebrate TK turning 30, TK and Carlos stumble upon a list of things TK always wanted to do before he turned 30, all of them being references to romantic comedies he loved so much growing up. While TK is fine with leaving the past in the past, Carlos thinks there's no better time than the present. He thinks that TK deserves to feel the same type of love he loved watching on the silver screen, so he devotes the rest of their trip to just that. Told through a tale filled with everlasting love, a never-ending trek across New York City and the occasional painful reminder of the past, Carlos learns a little more about the city TK once called home and TK learns a little more about himself.

a little taste of love

TK Strand, a florist working for the renowned flower shop, Bloom With a View, can't take his eyes off of Carlos Reyes, a baker working at Cake My Day, the bakery across the street.

I say it all the time now, but if I were to ever just randomly stop writing one day and never published anything again, I'm glad I got the Time Loop AU up. Definitely a new personal favorite (summer slipped us, you still have a special place in my heart) <3

[skzstoryvault]

Poison Drop (Hyunjin, angst, bit of spice)

F! Reader x husband Hyunjin

one-shot

Hyunjin is a house-husband in this. He still works but he's no longer an idol.

Story spans from a parallel present day until ten years later

Warnings: mentions of obsessive fans, abduction and recovering from the resulting trauma.

This is in no way meant as a commentary on the real persons depicted here. They all deserve the world.

Please be kind.

Please do not report this post. If it's not your thing, just scroll away.

If you're underage, please scroll on, there is nothing for you here.

If you enjoy this story and are reading along, I would love to hear your comments in the replies, reblogs or DMs - however you feel most comfortable.

Man plans, God laughs.

Never in a million years would you have thought you’d find yourself here, at the core of a reality you only dared to think of late at night, right before sleep took you.

You put another log onto the fire, checking the airing system, then slowly pad back to the living room.

There, the TV is on.

You look down at your warm feet, cosy and snug in a pair of red, pink and white pattern handknit socks.

From him. Everything you love to wear is from him. Every item, strung together with the patience and love of a martyr and with the joy of a small child. He sits for hours, hands diligently working the minutes away, using the yarn so generously provided by the alpaca friends who live on your farm.

The years went by, but his beauty did not. Age makes him bloom forever, like an orchid that doesn’t know it’s been plucked from the jungle and planted in a glass pot. 

You look at him - his bun is now loose, his hair is falling in whimsical tendrils down his neck, sneaking beneath the slack collar of his pyjamas. Glasses perched low on his nose, he’s focused on counting stitches, lashes lowered to almost resting on the tops of his cheeks, pillowy soft lips dark and bitten in concentration and moving slowly with his counting.

He doesn’t know you’re there, and like a thief, you pause, unknown, outside of space and time, holding your breath so you can watch him work.

How?

How did it get to this? It’s happened to you, with you, yet you still couldn’t tell how you ended up married to Hyunjin, a man so inaccessible to you the very thought of him in your mind seemed blasphemous.

You never intended to pluck him from his home country, where all his friends, family and favourite foods are. But something happened, in the fifth year of his knowing you, that made him run without looking back and seek refuge at your place, far across the seas. 

Hyunjin always awakened the most burning passions in everyone who met him - everyone but you, and only because you were genuinely afraid to let yourself feel fully. But his fans? They were some of the most unhinged in the industry and one of them used their access and skills to abduct Hyunjin and keep him locked in their cabin in the middle of privately owned woods.

You figured out where he was, working against the clock, realising that the longer he is trapped with his abductor, the higher the chance of him getting hurt. You were just a PR specialist back then, and because of that you knew how obsessed fans think and what path their unchecked emotions follow. While working tirelessly to get him back, you realised that the one thing fueling you on that mission was the love he had sparked in your previously intentionally kept on ice heart. But one thing after another - you first had to be razor sharp and cold, think like the kind of sociopath capable of abducting an idol, and then - only then - would you be allowed to be soft for Hyunjin. 

You were afraid of the worst happening before you and the police got Hyunjin back; just the thought of the possibilities robbed you of your sleep for weeks and it took years to retrain your body to shed the utter fear of those outcomes. Long after Hyunjin began to sleep next to you, carefree in his medicated slumber, you still woke up screaming, drenched in cold sweat. 

It’s been ten years since the ordeal and Hyunjin fought hard for every little piece of himself he gained back. He put himself together beautifully, but he also didn’t look back.

And that’s how he became a Dane - like you.

He only models these days; mostly for Versace - when news of his abduction broke out to brands, many were too scared to keep working with an idol who doesn’t perform anymore, unsure of what the extent of his damage would be - but Donatella saw the opportunity in the challenge and made sure Hyunjin’s public image only works for her and her brand. Sometimes, she will rave about him to someone else powerful in the world of fashion and she will end up getting him more work.

He struggles with the language, and whenever he does attempt to speak it, he is more adorable than a basket of kittens. He loves the local customs, the fashion, the cuisine. He loves being your gentle house husband, putting on cotton and flannel layers and stylish denim, knitting himself fisherman hats so he can look at himself in the full size mirror in the hallway and flirt with his reflection on his way out to do a grocery run.

His paintings sell for millions internationally. He doesn’t have to work - but the need is there, like a phantom limb pain. He will require more time to figure himself out in the absence of a continuous and exhausting line of work to define him. He grew up an idol, before getting the chance to ask himself who he is and what he stands for. Now those questions became pressing and he is searching for answers while also trying to hold the shards of his past self together. 

The band is not the same without him, and the remaining seven went on a self-imposed hiatus, mourning his absence while also understanding his need to run far and away. They are still friends, and they periodically reach out, especially Felix. Even after all these years. 

He hasn’t danced in more than ten years. It’s as though he performed vivisection on himself and took out that part of him, cutting it out and throwing it away. It was heartbreaking to see that light be extinguished so swiftly and you can only imagine how it must have hurt him. 

One part of Hyunjin died back then - you knew it as soon as you lay eyes on his shaking, curled up form in the blanket his rescuers wrapped around his shoulders.

But he’s here now, and he’s as shrouded in pure magic as ever, even though it’s just for you to see and benefit from. It still feels like one of the fae descended from legend to be your husband until some sort of spell is broken. 

You know your current domestic bliss has an expiration date stamped on it because Hyunjin didn’t choose this life freely, he ran into it, afraid of what he was leaving behind. But underneath it all, you’re not afraid of love’s ending, because beneath it lies an even bigger, stronger love, the kind forged amidst suffering and loneliness. You and Hyunjin will always be soulmates, even long after you stop being lovers. 

There was something your boss at the company told you - a resentment so huge, so bitter was expressed that day, in hushed tones because the bastard knew he was shooting to kill. He said he was sad Hyunjin had you and your country to flee to; that it was unfair for him to get an easy out, when he should have stayed there, grit his teeth and healed through work and discipline. He told you Hyunjin was more in love with himself than with anyone and anything else, and that you were only a small harbour in the ocean of Hyunjin’s need for adoration; that he could deny for a while that he needed everyone’s love, but eventually he would come back begging for it.

That had not been enough to get you to change your plans or to try to sway Hyunjin towards staying. But it had gotten under your skin and had festered there. Making you doubt everything and question every word. 

When Hyunjin married you, you told yourself he was just reassuring you so you wouldn’t leave him alone while he still needed to recover and learn to live in another culture and country. When he told you he loved you, you thought he was just going through the motions like all men in couples do. When he told you he was happy, you thought it was cute, but he was lying to himself to cope. 

If it really was all for real, then he would dance about it, no? Happy people dance. Men who love their wives grind on them to radio hits while making breakfast together on Saturday mornings. You hadn’t had a bride and groom dance at your wedding - you’d had a choreographed sword fight in which neither of you prevailed. Instead, you both chose to drop your sword in order to be able to hold hands. 

The reasonable part of you knew that making this the measure of Hyunjin’s recovery and genuine loyalty was insane, evil even. And you knew, on one level, that your boss’ comments had poured this corrosive foundation in your mind. It was obvious: Hyunjin didn’t dance because it hurt him to do so, it took him to his personal hell, a place he did not wish to revisit if he had the choice. This had nothing to do with you.

You knew that. But some days you doubted it; doubted everything. 

Now he’s on the sofa in the living room, alpaca sock-clad feet crossed in front of him as he knits away on his latest project. Your dog sleeps on his back, with all four paws in the air, on the floor in front of your husband. 

Not today though. Today, you came home from the hardware store, having needed some extra parts for the new kitchen you are assembling. Hyunjin spent his day outside, tending to the garden and the greenhouse, hanging out with the animals on your land, brushing them, giving them treats.

“You’re back,” he says, setting his knitting down and to the side, stretching his arms out to you and making grabby hands so you would come closer. “Kiss, please.” 

You humour him, and his kiss really conveys longing. His plush lips are hot and supple against yours and he holds you close for a bit longer, chasing your lips even after you try to end the kiss. He really missed you even though you’ve been gone for two hours, tops. 

“I cooked. So, if you want to eat before getting to anything else… we could.” He offers.

Whatever he cooked looks and smells incredible. It looks like a hearty stew with a dark, yummy sauce and many veggies. He’s made it a point to cook Danish recipes, but his creative side cannot resist remixing some aspect of them - a herb here, a spice there, wine instead of vinegar - he always changes something, and for the better. He has just as much talent for flavours as he does for colours. 

“I could go for some lunch, yeah.” You say and he hops off the couch, leading the way into the kitchen.

The early afternoon is spent in a shared bath, and then, once you get out, Hyunjin sees your bare shoulders as you drop your towel to step into fresh clothes. The moment he approaches you from behind and kisses your neck, you know exactly where you’ll be for the next few hours. 

He has perfected the art of eating you out to the brink of insanity. Knowing all the best ways to make your body respond to his touch, learning how sucking on your clit makes you squirm and grind your hips against his face, how nuzzling the soft skin of your folds has you trembling and cursing; how sneaking his tongue up inside you short circuits your entire body and has you gushing all over his face. 

It still shakes you to your core to see how much he craves you. In any way you allow.

The way he touches you when he gets in this headspace changes the way your body feels. Your inner thigh ligaments don’t hurt when he makes your legs frog out onto the sheets so he can be between them. Maybe it’s because of how tenderly his hands rub you there, making all the tension seep out of you. Your back sinks deeper into the crisp sheets of your bed, your nipples stay painfully hard even once they get used to the comfy temperature of the room, knowing that his fingers and mouth will awaken them again soon. It’s like he knows how to pour sensation into every corner of you and change it to sheer pleasure on his whim. 

For a little while, it works - he erases your mind completely and for that blessed moment, you only exist as a nexus of bliss of Hyunjin’s conjuring. He’s right there with you, whispering his love and devotion into your skin. 

Then you’re on top, sort of, because he’s not letting you work for one second - he has you perched on his lap, leaning over him just enough for him to have access to all of you, and he’s pressing himself into you with the fervour of someone whose entire life depends on getting this one thing right.

But soon, the reboot happens and you remind yourself some men are better at lying with their dicks than they are at lying with their mouths. And some are excellent at both, which is something Hyunjin must be a master of. 

He wrings three more orgasms from you, and by the time he’s coming he’s also crying, his hot tears landing on your cheeks and lips before he hurries to kiss them away, apologising endlessly. 

“It’s just, it’s ju-ust-” he hiccups, inhaling deeply, “I love you so much!” 

“Don’t,” you soothe him, feeling infinitely sorry for him - he looks like he is really buying into it all, and if he’s going into this charade innocently, it must mean he hurts himself every time he prostitutes himself to buy a moment of picture-perfect happiness in the here and now. “Don’t feel guilty for feeling.”

“I know, baby. I love you too.”

Later, he sings you to sleep, and the sentinel part of your brain registers distantly that he rearranged a Megan Thee Stallion song to sound like a lullaby just for you. 

Alright Judas, where’s your Oscar? But you can’t feel cynical about it right now, because the little beaten down part of you that does love him back without asterisks and fine print is feeling strong today.

In the late afternoon, towards the evening, you’re woken up by the sound of sizzling and the smells of delicious foods being made.

As soon as you round the corner, you gasp inaudibly at the scene before you. He has GoldLink’s Zulu Screams playing in the back while he cooks, and he’s in a checkered flannel shirt, shorts and one of the socks from earlier. 

You head for the kitchen on silent footfalls, wondering what Hyunjin is up to.

But, most importantly, the secret scene you walked in on completely erases all your doubts and reassures you fully that it’s safe to let yourself love him. He’s here with you, for you, all parts of him, chipped ones included. 

Dancing like nobody's watching. With no choreography or premeditation to his moves. Just feeling the song and moving like a grounded albatross in some places, then gracefully in others. He reminds you of Christopher Walken in that “Weapon of Choice” video he did for Fatboy Slim.

He stops mid-move when he sees you standing in the doorway, looking small in his undershirt and house shorts, with tears streaming down your face. 

“My babiest baby! What’s wrong? Why are you crying? Am I doing something wrong?” He asks, once he’s near you and his hands are reverently cupping your cheeks. 

“No, nothing’s wrong.” You say, quite coherent for how you’re feeling right now. “I’m just a fool. And- you know that I love you, right?” 

“No, no buts, Jinnie. It just feels so good to say it. Just like it felt good to see you dance just now.” 

“Yes, I do know! And I hope you feel how much I love you too!” He adds, sounding enthusiastic about getting to tell you again, this time with clothes on. “Wait. Is there a ‘but’ to this?”

“And that’s alright. I just liked seeing you having found your groove again. You’ve earned it, my heart.” you say. It’s even more important that he can dance for himself now and not think of showing it off to strangers’ eyes. All this time, you doubted him unjustly. You promise yourself silently to evict fear from your mind and trust that your shared future will be better than the past simply because it’s you and him, together. 

“Oh, that. I was just goofing off. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to share that with the world out there.”

He pulls you close and hides your face in his shoulder, kissing your hair. 

“And you’re not a fool. You’ve saved and kept me safe for so long. I’m glad you can finally breathe.”

With those words, he takes away any illusion that maybe he was blissfully unaware of the doubts gnawing at you all this time. 

It’s late, but not too late. You can finally enjoy having your beautiful and strong husband by your side. 

[itsnathateasy]

Armin Week | Day 8 | SFW Prompts | Blind / Deaf Armin OR Birthday

word count: 1,9k warnings: a couple lingerie remarks author’s note: firstly, i couldn’t decide on armin planning your birthday or you planning his, so i did both! secondly, idk what it is with me and dj!connie?? i swear he sucks at it but baby boi loves mixing the tunes yk? i couldn’t deny him anything if i wanted to!

@armin-week-2024

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Armin plans your birthday…

To someone like Armin, birthdays are a big deal, his birthday is a big deal, your birthday is a big deal, his friends’ birthdays are a big deal. He’s the type of person who has his calendars and planners marked with all of his favourite people’s birthdays and he also marks when he should start preparing for them. You were so used to this habit of his, he always got so excited and took care of even minor details. He put so much effort into it all, it was so cute to watch him do all of these things and you often helped him too; running an errand concerning the gift or texting the birthday person to hang out so that you could distract them while Armin and the rest of the group decorated the house and baked the cake.

Even though you knew how Armin was, you never expected anything extravagant for your birthday. You knew he was probably up to something, but didn’t want to pry; his plans never failed, you had no reason to worry. He’d give you an amazing birthday. However, you did want to take care of some preparations on your own, so you decide to let him know”. You know it’s my birthday in two weeks, right?” “Oh! So close already! I didn’t realise”. This was weird of him to say but you decided to brush it off. He was probably just playing dumb to make the surprise even better. “I know, right? I just wanted to ask you to not take care of the cake or candles. I’ve something particular in mind, I’d like to organise it myself. Is that okay? I know you love baking cakes with Jean and Sasha”. “Yeah yeah, that’s totally fine! No need to worry!” he said as he gave you a big smile and awkwardly gave you a thumbs with both of his fists.

Now, that’s fishy.

The days went by, not a sign of your upcoming surprise. Armin had gotten so good at this, you couldn’t find any clues in your shared apartment. Where were all the decorations and baking ingredients? You even checked his spotify and he’d make no new playlists.

You couldn’t help but feel a bit disheartened. Was he not in the mood to plan your birthday? Was your birthday not important anymore? Were YOU not important anymore? Was he tired of you? Did he want to break up and hadn’t found it in him to break the news right before your special day? As those thoughts kept circling in your mind, you realised you couldn’t help it. If Armin wanted to break up with you, he’d have to own it and face you. But you weren’t going to simply let your most special day of the year go by. You’d plan your own birthday and Armin could piss off.

The next two days were hectic for you. You still had three days to go but there were simply too many things to take care of and your life was already busy as it was. On those days, you barely saw Armin, which totally broke your heart. He really should talk to you about it. Even if you were to break up, you deserved to know, right?

You unlocked the door to your apartment, hands full of bags with all that you needed for your party; snacks, decorations, disposable straws and table cloths, ribbons and cards to write to your friends for their presents. Your phone was buzzing all day with texts of your friends that accepted your invitation and said they’d be there. Armin could never plan this as good as you could. As you managed to squeeze through your front door, you realised the apartment was completely dark, a sign that Armin hadn’t been home at all, or at least the kitchen lights would be on. Armin wasn’t home much these days either. Where was he even? What kept him this busy after work? “Ugh, honestly, fuck him. It’s my birthday after all!” you said aloud. While still setting the bags on the kitchen table and turning on the lights with your shoulder, the apartment lit up and you heard honks and popping noises, balloons flew around and all of your friends revealed themselves from behind your furniture, exclaiming “HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N” at the top of their lungs.

“What is going on you guys? It’s still three days until my birthday!”

They all rushed to hug and kiss you, handing you your presents. You were quickly holding a stack of about ten boxes and a few bags were awkwardly hanging from your hands. They all looked so happy though, Eren quickly turned the music on, Mikasa took a birthday cake - the birthday cake YOU’D ordered yourself! - out of your fridge and started planting those fancy silver candles you’d been desperate to find in it. Armin walked towards you and helped you by freeing your hands and putting all those gifts back on the floor.

“You didn’t seriously thought I’d forgotten your birthday, did you?”

“Armin, I thought you were breaking up with me, I was so depressed. Why are we celebrating my birthday this early?”

“Because you were all over my ass y/n, searching for your present and wanting to get this and that on your own. If I took any longer, it wouldn’t have been a surprise” he explained with a half smile.

“Armin Arlert, you’re the brightest man alive”. You let him pull you closer into his arms, relaxing in his embrace. “Happy birthday love” he said, planting a kiss on your forehead and handing you your present.

Needless to say the party was a massive blast, everyone had so much fun! (Even though Connie wanted to make himself the dj). It was the best birthday and it being a bit early wasn’t even a problem anymore. This only meant Armin had probably something even greater planned for the two of you for the actual date.

-after the party was over, in the midst of picking up rubbish off of the floor-

“Wait, did you really think I was breaking up with you y/n!?”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

You plan Armin’s birthday…

“No Eren, YOU need to be the one to hang out with him! Besides, you’re hanging out together so often, he won’t even suspect! No, I can’t ask Historia to hang out with him out of the blue! Eren! I don’t even care! Figure it out! He’s your best friend!” you said and hang up on Eren. The trouble this boy was giving you. You and Mikasa were practically working yourselves overtime in order to plan Armin a surprise birthday party and Eren kept not doing his part of the preparations. Maybe you should just drop the subject, as he was being extremely unreliable. Whatever you two had him prepare these past two weeks, he’d do it wrong, you were starting to think it was deliberate.

“I’m sure he means nothing by it but you know Eren. He’s like this” Mikasa admitted with a sigh. “I’ll do my best to help you. Too bad Armin can’t help organise his own birthday, right? He’s so good at making things work”. She readjusted the bags in her hands, balancing them all, trying not to have anything fall on the ground.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you Mikasa. Sorry for dragging you to the shops with me on your day off!”

“No worries at all. Armin is worth all of this and more. I’m glad we’re planning this together!” she said and smiled at you brightly. “Let’s just leave all of our stuff at the venue. That way he won’t know what we’re planning. Do you think he suspects anything?”

“I’d be damned if hasn’t figured it all out already!” You felt your phone buzzing in your front pocket. “Oh wait. That’s him! Be quiet!”

“Hey there Armeen! What’s up?”

“Please don’t perpetuate this joke y/n!” he said laughing. “I was just curious, where’ve you been? I thought we were hanging out tonight?”

Shit. Shit shit shit. With this and that about Armin’s birthday, you’d totally forgotten you’d lied about hanging out with him. “I ugh… I’m out with Mikasa. Shopping. Uh… I found some reeeally nice lingerie you might like so wait for me? I’m sorry I’m late!”

“Okay, sure! Want me to bake up those chocolate croissants you bought the other day?”

“You’re seriously the best, Armin! Let me know if you want me to pick up anything on the way home!”

“Will do! See you later love!”

“Y/n we haven’t bought any lingerie. What are you going to tell him now? He’ll suspect stuff if you start babbling excuses”.

“We’re so doomed Mikasa… Let’s go back to the grocery store and buy one of those candy thong thingies? Then I can say I meant it as a prank or something…

-a few days later, at the venue-

“We’ll be there soon y/n. I lured him out by saying you were running late and had told Mikasa, who then told me. I think he bought it! I’ll pretend to be driving by your office building and then I’ll head straight to the venue.” Eren explained.

“Thank you, Eren, you’ve done great! Make sure to signal Mikasa when you’re about to arrive!”

“Don’t worry, we’ve got this! Gotta go, later!” he said and hang up abruptly.

“Where do I put this y/n?” Sasha asked and showed you one of the presents.

“Along with the rest of the gifts Sasha, on the big pile YOU built, remember? Why are you panicking?” you gave her a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder.

“It’s too much y/n! How can YOU not panic???” Sasha had literally been running around like crazy for the past thirty minutes or so.

“I would, but you guys have helped me out so much! Oh wait, this is a text from Mikasa”. You turned your phone screen towards Sasha.

“They’re a few minutes away” Sasha read aloud. “Everyone, positions!”

The commotion grew and grew until you were all at your assigned places. Historia, disguised as a security guard, by the front door, Connie on the dj platform (he insisted!) and the rest of you waiting in the main area, hands filled with confetti and balloons ready to be thrown up in the air.

“And as I was saying, this club is the real deal Armin, you have to see the dance floor”

“What are we even doing here Eren? I’m sure y/n will be worried sick if she doesn’t find me at home. We were supposed to spend my birthday together, just the two of us. Why did you have to drag me all the way here and-”

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARMIN!” Everyone shouted in unison. Connie started playing his music, everyone was hugging Armin and wishing him the happiest of birthdays, Historia let some more of Armin’s friends inside the venue and (finally) dropped her disguise to join into the hugging. Armin was all flushed and smiled so so bright, he couldn’t believe they’d all gathered up to organise him a massive birthday party!

“Honestly guys, thank you so much! This is huge! How many people have you invited?”

“The real mastermind behind all this is y/n! She planned the whole thing!” Eren said as he shooed Armin towards you.

Cupping your face in his hands he said “Guess the wine and charcuterie will’ve to wait, right?” and then kissed you on the lips.

“Happy Birthday… Armeen! I love you so much”, you chuckled into the kiss.

“I love you too y/n”

-later, while dancing-

“And, y/n, did you really buy that lingerie you were talking about the other day?”

Your face dropped at this reminder. How can you even admit that it’s a candy thong!?

“Well, about that…”

[cheekblush]

finished my last written final today 🥳💃🏻🎉👯🏼‍♀️🍾

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

End of Empathy (time for violence)

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[dustteller]

I think modern au Zhu SHOULD be the lesbian best friend trope to Ouyang except that its because this man is her pet project and gODDDAMIT she's gonna FIX him she's gonna MAKE him be BETTER she's going to SOLVE EVERYTHING and he will RESPECT HER (she is actively making him worse). She has a whole complex about it and everything. She has based a part of her identity on dragging this man up from his toxic funk and is fully convinced that if she tries hard enough he will eventually come to his senses and be an equal participant in this relationship. They have a terrible wonderful toxic loving codependent relationship that's neither a romance nor a friendship nor a rivalry but a secret fourth thing.

Predictably, this does not go well. The character arcs would be Zhu learning she can't fix a sinking ship and letting Ouyang fail by himself, and Ouyang learning to not be a shit person, actually, and coming out of his bubble of self-centeredness and working on himself instead of unloading his emotional labor onto the people around him. And they should both get to develop a healthier relationship with each other than what they had in canon bc queer solidarity is great and its even better when it's in the shape of some weird bullshit some gay people built out of the corpse parts of heteronormative romance (affectionate and completely unironic)

[goldkirk]

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[13eyond13]

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[thegreatbeyondmp3]

bro it sucks so much to have to go to work when you're sick