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firewolf111 · 29 days

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This time we're projecting onto Remus, so..

Tw: intrusive thoughts, heavy mentions of gore/self mutilation and murder/torture, some mild cussing, and hating oneself/thinking oneself is a bad person for intrusive thoughts.

So be warned.

Remus had gotten used to people hating him and his ideas. It was his normal. He had also gotten used to the usual mentions of "intrusive thoughts" as a joke. He had gotten used to ignoring them. But today has been a bad day and the week had been even worse, so he was on the edge and so close to snapping. Though maybe it was more than just a bad week that had him this way, maybe it was the years of repression and denial. The why doesn't matter, it never seemed like it did. Either way, he ends up here despite it starting like every other day.

Roman: *watching a movie* Now, that's not accurate. An alligator wouldn't be that fast on land.

Logan: Actually, alligators can run decently fast. Some say they can sprint up to 35 miles per hour, though only in brief bursts.

Roman: That's disturbing. Imagine just minding your own business and an alligator comes sprinting at you.

Virgil: Now that's an intrusive thought.

Remus: *without thinking* No, that's not.

And he really should keep his mouth shut, but he wasn't known for his filter. So his bad day and awful week bubble beneath his skin and make its way through his blood and into his lungs. He breathes it and coughs it out for all to see. Maybe it was a long time coming. He had grown tired of drowning in it.

Virgil: *looking over* What was that?

Remus: I said, no, it's not.

Virgil: What's not what?

Remus: That isn't an intrusive thought.

Virgil: *rolling his eyes* Okay, sorry, Mr. thought police.

And normally, Remus would make a joke. Usually, he was good at playing along. He was the big, scary Duke. But right now, he felt more scared than scary. He felt small. He was so tired.

Remus: That isn't an intrusive thought. I wish it was. I wish it was that simple. That easy.

Virgil: *catching on to the seriousness* Woah. You're right. I'm sorry for downplaying intrusive thoughts.

Remus: *growing frustrated* But it's not just you! It's all of you! It's everyone! It's all a joke to everyone. Because to you, I'm nothing but a poorly timed sex joke or a weird fact. But that isn't the half of it! That's what I let out. What little I can release without being thrown away like the garbage fire I am!

Everyone is looking at him now. Some horror, some concern. A weird mix of the two. He hates it. He craves it. He doesn't know.

Roman: Remus-

And it's that tone of voice. That tone he used when they were younger. When Remus would get hurt fighting monsters in the imagination or wake screaming from a nightmare. He hates it. He craves it. He still doesn't fucking know. And it burns and it boils and it builds and builds and he breaks.

Remus: Stop. *It's more a plea than a command, and he wants to take it back. To try again. To undo the entire conversation because it is too open for him*

Janus: *taking a step forward* Remus, listen-

He doesn't, because he is a fire that burns too bright. An explosion waiting to happen. He's a stomach full of gasoline, and he's been choking on matches for a while. He tries to swallow down the smoke, and instead, he lights the blaze.

Remus: No, you listen! Stop trying to silence me! You don't like the things I say? Try being in my brain! Try dealing with them constantly! The thoughts you hear are tame compared to what goes on up there!

And oh, he's crying. He wants to tear out his eyes. To stop the traitorous tears that run down his cheeks. Will they eventually erode his skin? Will the others realize how broken he is and leave? A thousand thoughts. Like always. He never gets a break.

Remus: *dejected* You don't get it.

Janus: Then tell us.

He debates screaming that that had never worked before, but he is tired. So he complies.

Remus: Do you know what it's like to see people talk about their intrusive thoughts? How much it burns when someone makes a joke about it or assumes it's the same as impulsiveness. For fuck's sake, it burns enough when someone explains their intrusive thoughts to be about throwing something at someone or pushing someone.

Remus: *running his hands harshly through his hair* And how fucked up is that? To be jealous of something like that? But I wish my thoughts were just shit like that. Those are tame for me. I feel relieved when my thoughts are those ones.

Remus: But I rarely see people talking about the extreme ones. Is it just me? Because most people don't talk about the vivid images of murdering your family in brutal ways. Of torture methods and having such intense thoughts of using them on someone or doing something worse. Or losing your appetite because all you can think about is how it would feel to throw up your organs into the trash or tear your intestines out of your gut. To stare at your wrist and want to tear out your tendons, fighting the urge to dig into it. I have to be careful when scratching my face near my eye so I don't mindlessly dig my fingernails in because I get the strong urge to just pluck them out!

Remus: And don't get me started on the detailed thoughts that don't just stop on one image. The ones that are so detailed and thought out that it forms a plan in your head. A plan so carefully crafted, you can't help but wonder if you actually want to do it. *he's yanking at his hair now, unsure when he started* I don't. I swear I don't. But I have an entire plan in my head that plays out and I can't stop it. What if I do want to do it? Maybe I am a bad person.

Everyone looks horrified. He's done it. Now they'll kick him out for good because they know the monster he truly is. And yet, when he speaks the final sentence, something shifts. Roman and Janus snap out of it and step forward, already speaking reassurances.

Janus: You can't control your thoughts. They don't make you a bad person.

Roman: Re-no. That's not true

But he isn't listening. He's sinking out with a muttered "I'm a monster." Janus and Roman shout after him. Maybe Virgil does too. Maybe Patton and Logan call out, or maybe they don't. It doesn't matter.

The question isn't who comes find him, or how long or where. The question isn't what they say to him.

The question is: Will he finally find relief?

Because when the enemy is your own mind, that's a hard thing to do.

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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 1 year

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Starved

*materializes into existence*

Hey :D

[beware, this is long]

Idk if you're doing prompts rn (if not, that's okay; remember to take care of yourself). But if you are, may I request some Creativitwins h/c? – oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat [i'm not putting the whole req here just cause she LONG]

Read on Ao3

Warnings: starvation, intrusive thoughts, panic attacks, body horror (sort of), nightmares

Pairings: none

Word Count: 4250

For Remus, tending to the nightmare realm is just another chore. Eldritch monstrosities, terrifying landscapes, that's just how it is.

But when a new destination appears one night as he's going about his rounds, well, he has to stop in to investigate. What he finds is a horrifying town that has an almost cult-like relationship with hunger. One of the Sides, clearly, suffers from a particularly terrible strain of intrusive thoughts, but who?

"I mean, it just makes sense, really."

Roman snarls, throwing himself against the invisible barrier, but it shimmers mockingly as he's forced to claw and screech in vain, soundless behind its impassable force. On the other side, close enough that he could reach out and touch him—so close, so fucking close—Remus smiles.

"Of course," Logan says softly, reaching out to cup Remus's face as though he's precious, "the Creativity unbound by the shackles of expectation, what else could we hope for?"

"And the passion!" Patton claps his hands, each one making the barrier thunder against Roman's palms. "Where else are we going to find someone with this much drive and motivation?"

"I know, maybe we'll actually see finished products once in a while," Virgil snickers, playfully elbowing Remus in the ribs as a dagger lodges itself in Roman's side.

He howls in pain, still scrabbling at the wall, but it's no use; Remus isn't even looking at him anymore, no one is, they're all too focused on each other, on how perfect Remus fits in now that they're stopping to look at it, and that's what he wants, that's good, he missed his brother so much, he wants him back, he wants him back, he just wants—he wants—

But he's a fool, and he didn't specify that he's selfish enough to want to keep both things.

And now, as he watches Remus pulled into Patton's arms, as he watches Logan smile gently and ruffle his hair, as he watches Virgil grin and rub his hands together gleefully, as he watches Janus turn to look at him—

Janus stares at him through the barrier, a smirk playing on his lips. But it's not a cruel smirk, not a malicious smile, it's the crooked smile every hero has just as they deliver the last quip of the movie.

"Oh, Roman," he whispers, even as his words ring in Roman's ears, "thank god you don't have a mustache."

Roman wakes up.

He's shaking. He's burning under the sheet. He's panting like he's run for his life. He's frozen. He can't move. Why should he move? The barrier will stop him. Wait, no, that's when he's asleep. He's not asleep anymore. He's not, is he? He's so cold. He's so hot. He's so scared.

God, he's so scared.

But why is he so scared? Is it the fact that Remus was accepted? How awful is he, to be scared of that? To be scared that if they find out how wonderful Remus truly is—and he is, Remus is so, so, so wonderful, he is and Roman loves him—that they'll want to keep Remus and get rid of him? That's awful of him! He's not supposed to be scared of his brother being accepted, he's supposed to look forward to it! He's not—he's not—

He's crying, isn't he? That's why he's still shaking. He's scared. He's scared and he's awful and he's crying, why is he crying? What right does he have to cry? Crying is for people who are hurting and deserve comfort. What comfort does he deserve? Because his Imagination conjured up some horrifying reality for him, so horrifying that he got to watch his brother finally get the love and acceptance he deserves and the natural consequences of it? What right does he have to demand comfort after that? He doesn't. He should stop crying. He should stop. Right now.

Oh, god, he can't stop crying.

He's still hurting. His chest is still burning. Why can't he breathe properly? This is stupid; if he's going to be as selfish and needy as he is, he should at least be breathing properly. He can't pretend to be anything other than helpless, can he, that he would steal the air from others' lungs and then not have the decency to breathe it properly? How cruel of him. How unjust of him. How awful he must be.

He should be locked behind a barrier. He should be pushed far away from everyone else. Then he couldn't hurt them. Then his hurt would only hurt him. Then he could be as messy and needy and selfish as he had to be and he would only cause himself pain. That was right. That was better. He should—he should have—should he have realized this years ago? How awful he is, how much he deserves to be put behind a barrier?

The room is closing in. The walls are getting closer. His bed is shrinking. The blankets are pressing him down into the floor, he can't breathe, he can't breathe, he can't breathe—

He can't hear anything. Oh, god, has it happened already? No, no, he wasn't ready—he was just thinking about it, that didn't mean he wanted to go right now—no, he wants one last chance to say goodbye, he's sorry, he's sorry, he's so sorry—

It's so cold.

***

Remus whistles under his breath as he steers the little rudder on the wooden dinghy, around the desecrated shell of some great eldritch beast. He gives the scale an absentminded pat as he drifts by, resolving to come back and check on it later. Perusing his nightmare gallery never did get old, but as far as dreams went, there were certainly better ones to be had. After all, hardly anyone wants to go to work as soon as they fall asleep.

"Win some, lose some," he remarks to the bear cub sitting in the bottom of the boat next to him. The bear cub growls low in its throat and gnaws on a spare bone. "Atta boy."

As he turns to go back towards the mainland, he catches sight of something rising up out of the water to his left. Looking over, he blinks in surprise to see a skeletal forest framing a new mouth of the river, long and jagged shadows reaching out over the water's surface. Frowning, he steers the boat over there, watching as the trees coalesce to form the silhouette of a starving bear. His bear cub lets out a low snuffling noise and shifts closer to his leg. He rubs its head and frowns as they drift under the bear's snarling mouth.

"Do you know what this is?" The bear cub huffs. "Huh. Me neither."

Surprisingly enough, the river ends at a seemingly normal dock. Well, normal for everyone else, in here, that's a little strange. Crowds mill about, each talking gruffly to their immediate neighbor, and someone throws Remus a small rope to tie off his dinghy. He does, the bear cub lingering close to his heels as he starts to walk into the town. Thankfully, he's not in his costume, but a set of plainclothes that he quickly shuffles around to hide the eldritch goo.

The air swirls with a strange miasma, not quite visible enough to put his finger on, but—there's something here. A feeling, almost, a terrible energy that permeates everything he can see. Most wear some sort of face covering, a scarf pulled up over their mouths, or hats worn so low he can only see glimpses of their chin. Those that don't are haggard, bone-weary, with eyes sunken and pulsating deep within their sockets. He can see what should be market stalls hanging their striped banners, but nothing looks to be on sale.

"Good thinking," he hears a raspy voice to his side, and he turns to see a crew of urchins smirking and huffing at him, "having a cub for you, or you for the cub."

His cub—he looks down to see where the cub should've been only to see it's wandered off, sniffing at something, and now whining and growling as a group of long-fingered strangers inch towards it, their mouths open. He whistles sharply and the cub turns tail and runs back to him, gnawing gently on his pants leg.

"Stay close," he bids under his breath as they keep walking, "I don't know what's going on here."

He keeps walking. The bustling streets fade quickly into tiny alleyways, each blocked off by a different makeshift wall that looks like it's designed to be lifted back and forth, a strange gate of sorts. Big, bulky things, the kind that would take at least two strong people to lift. He glances around at the twig-thin limbs and skeletal muscles he can see of the few people that aren't wearing big coats and proper clothes. As he nears one, he frowns. It's made of what looks to be old hide, bound and lashed together with something, but what could possibly be—

A low moaning and the murmur of a crowd.

He turns again, his cub at his side, looking for the source of the commotion. Down the main street a ways, at the mouth of presumably another alley, he sees a group of people peering at something. With one hand tangled in the fur at the cub's neck, he walks over and shoulders his way in to see what's so fascinating.

His eyes widen.

An old man, an old man, who looks barely alive save for the hysterical zeal in his eyes, is hobbling after something rolling along the ground. Every time he's about to pick it up, one of the men in some sort of uniform comes up and kicks it further away from him. The thing rolls through all manner of filth and still the old man hobbles after it. A sick sort of fascination takes hold of Remus's stomach—he should put a stop to this, shouldn't he?—but he finds himself paralyzed, only able to hold his bear cub close.

As the man continues to hobble, he lets go of his cloak. His ribs stand out starkly, each vertebra of his spine clearly visible, and someone in the crowd quickly snatches it up, hoarding it to their chest as a few squabble for it until the uniformed man barks at them to settle down. The man hobbles on, undeterred.

Another shadow lengthens on the ground.

Remus is one of the few that turn to look.

Another man, tall and whip-thin, with an ashen-gray face and monstrous dignity, walks slowly after the pair. His coat, fasted together with large gold buttons down the length of him, flutters in the breeze as though he would blow away at any moment. His hands, the same ashen color as his face, clasp in front of him. A gold signet ring gleams from his finger.

Who, Remus thinks as he clutches the bear cub, who has the sense to be utterly silent, the fuck do you think you are?

"Do you see," the man whispers, his voice picking through the crowd as a centipede picks through the undergrowth on the forest floor, "how desperate we become if we are slaves to our hunger?"

The man in uniform kicks the thing through a puddle that Remus is going to believe is water. The older man still hobbles after it.

"How low our standards become, how quickly we become nothing but beasts, savage and primitive? And how unhappy we are…" The gold signet ring catches another flash of light. "And we are never sated once we give into the need to feed."

The old man finally catches the thing. It drips and cracks with who knows what and still he shoves it in his mouth as though it were the finest feast in all the land. As the crumbs and sludge drip down his face, Remus realizes that it once might have passed for bread.

"And look," says the man as the old figure lets out a howl of despair, "it is never worth the price it takes to feed it."

For even that short hobble seems to have sapped the last of the life force from the old man's wheezing lungs and he keels over right there, still moaning and twitching as the bread rolls limply away from his hands. The uniformed man stands over the corpse and raises a whistle to his lips.

"We are the masters of our own hunger," drones that fucking whisper as many-limbed shadows materialize from the other end of the alley, "until it becomes master of us."

The crowd turns away in shocked horror as the spider-shadow-demon beasts fall upon the corpse. Remus watches the man impassively observing it, idly toying with that fucking golden ring. Then, as if Remus were invisible, he turns and walks back into the crowd, the beasts scuttling after him.

"So," Remus murmurs to the bear cub who was thankfully too short to see any of that, "that was fucking weird."

This isn't one of his. Obviously, because then he would've known what the fuck to expect. As it stands, he can only drift to a somewhat abandoned corner and stare around, trying to discern who this might belong to.

Hunger, that was clearly a theme here. Starvation, almost, given how little food there seems to be and how everyone keeps looking at his bear cub. But a culturally enforced starvation, given by the weird cult vibes of the creepy dude with the ring—a religious figure, maybe? And some nonsense about being masters of hunger, so clearly there was prestige given to being hungry but not giving into it. Those who outwardly expressed their hunger being shamed—well, shamed and humiliated and executed for it.

The bear cub whimpers and Remus crouches down, letting it snuffle into his neck as he strokes its shoulder. A cart drives by with a fancy-looking crest on one side and he squints to make out 'By the Grace of N. Schaumburg' as it passes.

"That must be creepy dude," he murmurs as the bear cub growls, "yeah? What do we think, who's hungry?"

He looks around again. Despite the fact that it's pretty mild weather, everyone's bundled up as though it were the dead of winter. Those that don't wear thick heavy coats huddle together, shivering, mindless mumbling coming from the groups. If he listens closely enough, he can just make out the words, but they don't make any sense.

The bear cub whuffs and tugs on his sleeve.

"What?"

The cub sniffs at a piece of paper blown closer to them. Remus picks it up. It's a pamphlet of some sort with the same crest, announcing an earlier enforced curfew. On the back is a short verse.

Selfishly feed and forever go hungry.

Free and unshackled by hunger are we.

Feeding the beast is an endless task.

Embrace the hunger and be free at last.

"Free from what," Remus whispers to the cub as he finishes reading, "having a body with needs?"

The cub just whines. Remus rubs its head and pockets the pamphlet, standing up slowly and looking around. Okay, so definitely shame associated with needing to feed, something about trying and failing to sate the hunger only leading to it growing, okay…definitely more guilt flying around here than he'd like but they were raised Catholic, so that's not completely unbelievable…

"You there." The uniformed man from before jerks his head at the cub. "What's with the animal?"

"'S my emotional support bear."

The man frowns. "Your what?"

"Nasty business," Remus says instead, nodding toward where the corpse used to be, "does that happen often in this part of town?"

"Not as often as it used to, population's getting better. Since Schaumburg came out with the pills instead of the rations it's been easier to keep the worst of them down." The man glances behind him. "Still. There'll always be a few of them."

"Is that why the new curfew's been enacted?"

"Well, it always gets worse at night, you know. That's when all the rational thought leaves these people and they start scrabbling about for something to feed on. Makes it easier to manage if they're all already indoors, you see."

Okay, so something about not being around others at night, okay, who do we know that's been skipping out of things lately?

"And I've never seen him around either," Remus says, lowering his voice a bit as he nods toward the direction that creepy dude went off in, "is that normal around here too?"

"Oh, Schaumburg doesn't normally come out—" bingo— "but with all the panic about that cold front last night, well…I guess he thought it was necessary."

Cold front last night, cold front last night…what happened last night?

It was movie night last night. Did someone get freaked out by the movie? But it was The Sea Beast, it had cleared everyone's trigger list, everyone had enjoyed it, was that the problem? Or was it something else?

"Now, you seem like a nice enough man—" Remus tries not to take offense, this seems like a good thing in this case— "so I'll just let you off with a word to the wise: get that bear of yours registered with an approved tag or someone's liable to tear it apart, you hear?"

Remus just nods as the official turns away. He looks down at his cub, who's all but cuddling his leg, and glances around.

Several people hug their cloaks or bags close to their chests. A few more stand so close their arms are near around each other as the carts and wagons drive by. A parent tucks their child into a fold of their coat. He remembers the feeling of being snuggled on the couch and how cold it had been when he got up to get a drink. He pulls out the pamphlet and looks closely at the crest, fingers tracing an upside-down crown with teeth mangling the metal.

As if on cue, he hears Roman scream.

***

Virgil huffs, turning over in bed. Remus must be busy tonight; his mouth's been filled with bitter-tasting grossness all evening. Every now and again he gets this awful roaring emptiness in his stomach and he just wants to sleep. He's almost ready to storm down there and tell him to knock whatever he's doing off, it can wait until tomorrow, when he suddenly hears someone scream.

That's…not what Remus's screams sound like.

***

Remus shakes himself awake, grabs his trusty teddy bear, and sinks right into Roman's room. Immediately he's prying Roman's hands away from his face, letting out these soothing little noises and trying to get his attention.

"Hey, hey, Roro, shh, shh, it's okay, c'mere." Roman gasps and shakes and Remus leans in to kiss his forehead. "Hey, hey, c'mon, Ro-Bro, it's just me. It's just me, hey, can you look at me?"

"Re?"

"Yeah, Roro, it's just me, it's just me. Hey, you're doing so good, can you listen to my voice? Just listen to me, I'm right here, we're in your room, we're safe, you're safe, we're all okay." He nudges the teddy bear into Roman's lap and nuzzles it under Roman's chin. "See? All good."

Roman's hands are shaking and in the distance, Remus hears the echo of Schaumburg's voice. He growls and reaches out, taking Roman's hands and looping them around his neck, pulling his brother into a cuddle.

"Hey, Roro, you stay right here with me. Can you do that? Can you hold onto me?"

"It's so cold, Re—it's so—so cold—"

"Shh, it's okay, you can be warm now. I'm warm, right?"

"You're so warm—how are you so warm—"

"Come steal all my warmth, okay? Come steal all of it, it's all for you, I'm gonna give it to you." Remus tucks Roman's head under his chin and rocks him slightly back and forth. "There, there you go, shh, shh, it's okay, Roro."

"I'm sorry," Roman gasps out and Remus's chest aches, "I'm sorry, I'm awful, I'm so sorry!"

"You're not awful, Roro. Nope, no disagreeing," he says softly as Roman opens his mouth to protest, "you're not awful. You had a really fucked up nightmare and your intrusive thoughts are way too loud but you're not awful."

Roman freezes. "You—you saw it?"

"I didn't see your nightmare, no, but I—your intrusive thoughts made a place in my nightmare realm and I saw that."

"I'm so sorry—"

"Hey," Remus murmurs, pulling him back enough to cup his face and make him look at his eyes, "don't apologize for the shit your brain does, okay? You're safe here with me. I'm gonna be right here, okay? I got you."

To his dismay, Roman's lower lip trembles and big tears bubble at the corners of his eyes again. "B-but I—"

"Roman?" That's Virgil's voice, why the fuck is he—oh, right, panic. "Princey?"

"Hey, shh," Remus soothes as Roman tries to hide in the lea of him, "hey, it's okay. I won't let him hurt you."

"Remus? Is that you?"

"Yeah. What do you want?"

"I heard the scream, I've been feeling his panic—look, I don't wanna shout through the door, can I come in?"

"Can he?" Roman takes a little too long to nod but he does. "Yeah, Virgil, get in here."

Virgil slips through the door and takes one look at Remus hovering protectively over his brother and immediately changes into the softest hoodie and sweatpants he has. He crouches down so it's easier for Roman to look at him and his voice drops to a low rumble.

"Hey, Princey," he says gently as Roman turns to look at him, "seems like you're having a real rough time right now, can I come help?"

"S-sorry."

"It's okay, bud, I'm not mad. You're gonna be okay. I just wanna help."

"I won't let him hurt you," Remus whispers, rubbing his back, "you're safe here."

It takes another long moment, but Roman slowly reaches out a hand and Virgil takes it, letting Roman draw him onto the bed. He joins Remus in rubbing up and down Roman's back, gently carding his fingers through his hair.

"Hey, Princey," he murmurs, still speaking softly, "you have a bad dream? Yeah? You wanna talk about it?"

Roman shakes his head.

"Can I ask Remus what's going on? Yeah? Thanks, bud."

Remus sighs, letting Roman cuddle into him. "He's not been having a good time recently, what with…everything going on. I think Patton and Janus blowing up about selfish stuff got into his head and Logan's whole…deal about rising above what he calls 'base' needs isn't helping."

"…yeah, shit, that sounds—that's not great."

"And, you know, being insulted and belittled every time he opens his mouth isn't helping either," Remus adds, glaring at Virgil as he winces.

"I know. I—fuck."

"Yeah. So be really fucking careful right now."

"Hey, Roman," Virgil calls softly, giving Roman the gentlest shake to get his attention, "hey, Princey, can you look at me for a second?"

Roman's head peeks out and Virgil smiles, reaching out to wipe a tear from his cheek.

"Hey, there, bud. You're okay. Was what Remus said right, are you—is shit a little too much right now?" Roman nods. "You want some reassurance, or do you just want us to be here?"

"'M sorry," Roman mumbles, "'m not—'m not trying to be needy."

"You're not being needy, Princey, you're upset and you want to be comforted. That's not needy."

"Or selfish either," Remus says when fucking Schaumburg starts whispering again, "you're allowed to want things and have them. That's not something to be ashamed of or feel guilty for."

"Shit," he hears Virgil mutter under his breath before there's another set of arms around Roman, "no, Princey, you're not bad for wanting things. Is this—I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner. I shouldn't have left you alone for movie night last night either."

Right. Right, everyone else had cuddled up on the couch and Roman had arrived later when there was no room—fuck, Roro, I'm so sorry.

"It's okay, bud, you're okay. You're okay, you're safe, we're not going anywhere."

"I'm sorry," Roman cries out, hiding his face in the teddy bear, "I'm not—I'm trying, I'm trying, but it's so cold, I'm sorry—"

"Don't be sorry for wanting," Remus scolds lightly, glancing at Virgil who nods and starts gathering the blankets, "you're allowed to want things. And you just had a nightmare, that's an automatic you-get-cuddles-now. We can figure everything else out tomorrow, okay?"

Finally, finally Roman sniffles and looks up at both of them. "You guys really don't mind?"

"Nope!"

"Nah," Virgil says, ruffling his hair, "come cuddle, Princey."

As they all start to get ready to fall back asleep, Remus makes eye contact with Virgil. Virgil nods as Roman starts to doze—poor Roro, he must be so tired—and they close their eyes together.

***

Remus's bear cub growls lightly at Virgil as they reappear in the abandoned corner, but he pats its head. "He's a friend, it's okay."

"Yeesh," Virgil mutters, looking around, "this whole place feels like panic attack, is it always like this?"

"Roman's just really not having a good time right now. Just be glad you weren't here earlier."

"You know what, I'm not even gonna ask." Virgil takes a deep breath and tugs a little on his jacket, glancing around. "So! What's the plan?"

"I'm feeling like some anti-government arson and a side of political assassination, how about you?"

"Let's go start a riot."

The bear cub growls, swelling and growing until it's the size of a nearby wagon and Remus grins.

We gotcha, Roro. Sweet dreams.

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance@whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti@ultrageekygirl

#sanders sides #roman sanders #roman angst #virgil sanders #remus sanders #sympathetic remus #dragonbabbles #fic

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prettywordsblog · 1 year

Text

PAIRING Roman & gn reader

SUMMARY two friends, catching up. But the topic of childhood memories spark tensions.

WORD COUNT 1.7k

THEMES angst, one sided feelings, Roman being Roman

A/N got inspired when I was reading dog and bone on ao3 (go read it)

You and Roman have known each other since childhood. You, being Logan’s goddaughter, had grown up quite close to all the Roy children, but being closer in age to Roman meant that the two of you stuck together. Luckily, you never endured Logan’s toxicity— directly at least.

You often witnessed his wrath, unleashing on his poor children. It always made your head spin. Often, you’d stay up late, comforting whichever child that fell victim to his anger. And even more often, this was Roman.

The door of your apartment clicks open.

“Roman?”

“Nyello,” You hear his voice behind you. “I always forget how much I love your apartment. I really feel like I’m part of the lower middle class whenever I’m in here.”

You roll your eyes at his snarkiness, but smile. It’s nice to see your old friend.

“You really took your sweet time getting here didn’t you?”

He checks his watch. “Time is relative. I’m basically on time.”

“If on time means an hour late, sure.”

“We’re just hanging out, what’s the rush?” He sits on the couch across from you, slumping down on it like a bored schoolboy.

You raise your eyebrows “Well, if you showed up on time, we’d have more time together. Beer?”

“Yes please, madam” He says ‘madam’ with a certain sarcasm.

You grab two bottles and hand one to him. The two of you drink and talk for hours, like time hasn’t passed since you last saw each other. The conversations go from childish banter, to the siblings and the family.

“Maybe Logan will drop dead soon and you won’t have to worry about it anymore. He’s prehistoric.” You scoff. “I bet he witnessed that asteroid killing the dinosaurs.”

“Fingers crossed. But you know he’ll live forever just because he’s the embodiment of evil, and evil never dies.”

“I guess you’ll be around for a while then.”

“Oh fuck off,” He rolls his eyes. “I’m good. Unlike Dad I don’t have the soul of a sadist lurking under my skin.”

“Yeah, true. You got the soul of a masochist instead”

“Is that why I’m sitting here drinking beer with you instead of someone whose company I actually enjoy?”

You smile. “Yep.”

He takes a hearty sip of beer. “Sounds about right.”

Hours continue to pass. Time with him seems to fly by.

“Oh man, I'm going to hate myself tomorrow morning when my head is banging and I'm remembering everything I said to you tonight.” He puts the fourth bottle down.

“Hey,” You shoot him a look. “Talking to me is a blessing.”

“Hanging out with you like this is a sign I’ve truly hit rock bottom. I mean, I could be out doing something else.” He crosses his arms and puffs his chest out ever so slightly. He thinks he looks cool, but he’s clearly forgetting he’s a tiny, insecure man.

“Uh huh,” You nod, unamused. “Like what? Flirting with women and then getting scared when they wanna sleep with you?”

“Shut up. I have the worst friends.”

“Friend, you mean. There’s just me.”

“Well, you’re a shitty enough friend. I don’t need more.”

You smirk. You know he doesn’t mean it. It’s easy for you to see past the rude comments, despite the fact he hasn’t always been like this. “Glad I’m special enough to be the only one.” You pull your legs up to you, sitting criss-cross on the couch.

“At least somebody likes me. Well I don't even know if you like me actually, I think you just tolerate me because I'm your childhood friend and you've already invested too many years in this relationship to quit now.”

You shrug. “That’s definitely one theory.”

You think to yourself for a moment and chuckle. “You know, when I think about it, neither of us really had other friends growing up. Same with Kendall and Connor and Shiv.”

He thinks for a moment. “Yeah, I guess we never really did.”

“No wonder we’re such awful people”

“Well, I definitely think you're onto something. We're just a sad bunch of lonely little shits aren't we?”

“Roman? Talking about his feelings?” You let out a fake gasp. He’s not exactly talking about his feelings, but it’s rare he’s honest like this.

“Oh, shove it. I just had a thought, and I'm allowed to have thoughts.”

“You know what, it’s actually nice that you’re not having weird, perverse thoughts for once. Maybe this is good.”

“Hey. I’m not as depraved as you are. Whore.”

“Mhm,” You take another sip of beer. “Remember that time you sent your own father a dick pic?”

He groans. “I’ve told you this before. It was for another girl, who just happened to be under Dad’s contact.”

You raise an eyebrow. He left out the part about how it was for Gerri. “Oh yeah, speaking of that. How’s it going in the uh, woman department?”

“Well, it's pretty dead actually. I've just been so focused on trying to avoid my father's wrath recently I haven't had time for any more of my womanizing ways…”

“You could always go for the geriatrics in ATN, since that seems to be your type.”

“Oh yeah, those are the only women who would sleep with me right?”

“I figure you’d like it that way,” You laugh.

“Har har.” He rolls his eyes.

A moment of silence passes. Talking to Roman again had been sending waves of nostalgia all night. It’s only been a couple months since you’ve seen him, but it felt like ages. Your mind wanders down memory lane, particularly to the sweet, intimate moments you shared with him in your youth. You hesitate to bring things up, but decide there’s no harm in it.

“Remember when we used to sleep together all the time when we were little? ‘Cus you were scared of sleeping alone?”

He pauses, and then snickers. “My god, you have some nerve. Are you trying to embarrass me now?”

You scoff. “Way to ruin a potentially sentimental moment. I was just… reminiscing.”

“Reminiscing? Oh yeah I’m sure, you’re just all sentimental about our childhood. Is that what you call it?”

You furrow your eyebrows. “Jesus is it that weird that I think about it every now and then?”

“Well, for normal people maybe not, but for you it is a little weird I must say. You know why?”

Your nose wrinkles as you shoot him a look. “Why’s that?”

“Because you're you. And I know you're not just reminiscing and thinking about the "good old days." I know you're thinking about us and how we used to be and what could've been.”

Your mouth drops open slightly. The sudden aggression makes something in your stomach churn. It reminds you of Logan, in a way.

But you just inhale deeply and turn your head towards the window.

“Oh please, don't you play dumb with me! I know you better than anyone else does.”

You get up abruptly to throw the empty cans of beer away. “You’re such a dick.”

He gets up as well. “Oh, I'm the dick, okay. Because I can see what you're feeling and you're clearly not used to anyone actually reading your emotions so now you're freaking out and getting all pissy at me.”

“You don’t have to rub salt in the wound.”

“So there’s a wound?” He puts his hands on his hips, in the typical Roman fashion.

You narrow your eyes and him. “Yes. There’s several.”

“Oh come on, it was such a long time ago.”

“I would be over it if I wasn’t strung along by you all the time, like a fucking dog. I’m always stuck at your side but you just get to do whatever you want because you’re Roman Roy.”

He groans. “Oh please, don't even start with me. You love being at my side, because I'm the only person you know that actually treats you with a modicum of respect, unlike my father who's a walking pile of dogshit you've grown used to, or Kendall who is just an entitled brat, or Shiv who doesn't even see you as a person. But I still treat you like a human being despite all the crap you've put me through over the years. You just don't want to admit that I'm the most decent person in this whole rotten family.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose and squeeze your eyes shut, turning away from him. “God, you drive me insane.”

“Yeah? Well, welcome to my world.”

You lean against your kitchen counter. You can’t believe his audacity. To bring up the fact you still want him after all these years, to bring it up like it’s nothing. You never even told him.

You always forget how perceptive he is.

“I stick by your side ‘cus I know no one has your back like I do.” You mutter.

“Yeah, that's true. But you know what else is true? The reason you keep sticking by my side is because deep down you still believe that I might return those feelings for you one day.”

Your heart drops even more. You want to say something, something quippy. But you can’t, all you can feel is that burning in your throat, and you know you won’t be able to say anything without coughing up sobs. So you sit there. And sniffle quietly.

His gaze softens, however. He feels panic arize in him, snapping out of his ill-mannered mood. “Hey, wait. Don't cry. God, I hate it when you cry. Hey, hey, don't get all teary eyed on me. You know how much I don't like it when you're upset.”

He walks over to you, placing his hands on your shoulders, trying to present a scrap of regret. “Don't cry, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me tonight. I'm sorry, I am. You're my best friend. You are, and you always will be. I don't know what I'd do without you to be completely honest.”

Seconds pass silently. He stands there, not knowing what to do, other than attempting to comfort you as he watches tears stream down the side of your face.

“…Rome?”

“Yeah?”

“… Can we lay down together? Like I mentioned earlier?”

You feel his grip on your shoulders lighten. “Yeah, yeah, okay. Let’s do that, it’s okay.”

The two of you walk to your bedroom, not a word spoken. You lay down beside him, looking up at your ceiling.

“I can’t remember the last time we did this.” He finally says.

You move your hand on top of his, gently running your thumb alongside his. “It’s been a while.”

“A long while.”

#roman roy x reader #roman roy #succession #kieran culkin #angst

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icy-cold-bitch-latte · 2 years

Note

I always see things for the reader stealing *their* clothes, but what about the sides stealing the *readers* clothes? How would they react?

Anon I love this idea so freaking much omg

The Sides stealing the reader's clothes

Warnings: fluff, Roman angst (sorry), suggestive stuff for Logan and Remus

Patton

Patton couldn't find his cat cardigan anywhere (and no, it wasn't around his shoulders, he checked)

He'd taken it off and set it down for just a second, but when he went to put it back on it wasn't there

Unfortunately, you weren't in your room when he checked to see if you'd let him borrow something to wear

He didn't like taking things from you without getting your permission first, but he needed something to warm him up

Spotting a scarf hanging up, he gently took it down and wrapped it snugly around his shoulders (or "cold-ers", as he often called them), making a mental note that he should do something nice for you in return so you wouldn't be too upset with him taking it

After he left, he wandered downstairs to find himself a cookie to eat, and maybe even a second cookie if he was feeling dangerous

You were already in the kitchen, wearing the exact same cat cardigan Patton had been looking for earlier

When the two of you saw each other in the opposite one's clothes you both burst out laughing until your sides hurt

"So that's where my cardigan went!" Patton exclaimed, trying to catch his breath

"Sorry for just sorta taking it, I always thought it looked really cute on you and just wanted to try it on"

"Well, I'm sorry for taking your scarf without asking, I had to keep my cold-ers warm somehow"

You giggled before holding up a plate with cookies on it. "Want one?" You offered

He smiled before picking one up. "Cookies may be sweet, but they're no where near as sweet as you." He kissed your cheek while you blushed

Roman

Roman was devastated. He'd tried out for an important role in a play he really wanted to be in earlier that day, and to say he blew the audition was an understatement

His ego was bruised, and his heart was hopelessly crushed. There was absolutely nothing that could ever make him feel happy again... except for maybe spending some quality time with his devoted and loving partner, that is

He went to search the house for you, hoping you'd be there to give him some words of encouragement (and also cuddles), but when he couldn't find you he got even most frustrated and upset

Had his beloved darling somehow found out about his awful performance and decided that because of it, they were going to leave him for good?

Wrapping himself in one of the jackets he'd stolen from you ages ago, he collapsed on your bed in a fit of tears, sobbing into your pillow until he eventually tired himself out and fell asleep

You ended up finding him still lying there later that day after you'd gotten back from helping Patton shop for groceries

Walking over to the bed, you sat down next to him and began gently stroking his hair until he woke up a few moments later

Upon seeing that it was you, he wrapped his arms around you and hugged you tight, tears threatening to spill out of his eyes yet again

Having known about what had happened from Logan, you hugged him back, gently consoling him the best you could

"It's okay, my sweet prince. Don't worry, I'm here"

He was able to calm himself down a lot quicker than before, simply by you just being there

You hugged him for a bit longer before asking, "Roman, is that my jacket that I thought I lost a couple weeks ago?"

He hesitated before letting out a muffled "Maybe" as a response

You chuckled, holding him close. "It's alright, you can keep it. It looks good on you"

Logan

Logan woke up that morning to find you curled up next to him, fast asleep after the previous night's, ahem, activities~

The sun hadn't quite rose yet, and since he didn't want to run the risk of waking you up he decided he'd just get dressed in the dark. I mean, how hard could it be?

Very hard, as he would find out just moments later after he'd managed to put both shoes on the wrong feet and his button up on backwards (twice)

Once he finished dressing himself to the best of his ability, he went downstairs to put on a pot of coffee, making sure to leave some behind for you when you woke up

You made your way to the kitchen not long after, yawning loudly as you shuffled down the stairs

"Good morning, Star," Logan greeted you affectionately, giving you a kiss on the forehead before handing you a cup of coffee made just the way you liked

You hummed at the nickname, leaning into his kiss before going to sit down at the kitchen table

It wasn't until after you'd gotten up for a refill that you noticed something you hadn't be awake enough to spot when you first came down

"Logan, did you inspect your outfit closely enough this morning when you got dressed?"

He furrowed his brow, confused by your unusual line of questioning. "Well, considering I did most of it in the dark so as not to wake you, no, I didn't. Why?"

"Because you're wearing my pants, that's why." You gestured towards the lower part of his body with your coffee cup, watching with a bemused look on your face as he realized the mistake he made earlier when picking out his clothes

"I- I am so sorry, I had no idea-" Logan stuttered, cheeks tinted pink at his obvious embarrassment

"Oh, honey, don't worry, I'm not upset," you reassured him, setting down your coffee on the counter. "In fact-" you made your way over to him, playing with the end of his tie in a teasing fashion, "I think it's kind of hot, you wearing my clothes and all"

Safe to say neither one of you were seen again that day until some time after lunch

Virgil

Virgil had spent most of the day at your house hanging out with you

When it came time for him to leave, he found himself not wanting to, so he was ecstatic when you offered to let him stay the night and then go home the next day

Until he remembered he didn't have anything to wear to sleep in

I mean, sure, his everyday clothes were pretty comfortable, but he really didn't want to spend the night in a pair of jeans

You let him borrow clothes before in the past, so he figured you wouldn't mind if he grabbed a pair of sweatpants to sleep in

He had just slipped them on when you came out of the bathroom, toothbrush still in hand from where you'd been brushing your teeth

"Are those my Tim Burton pajama bottoms?"

He froze upon hearing your voice, afraid you'd be upset, but when he looked up to see a slight smirk on your face he realized you were just messing with him

"Oh, uh, yeah, they are. I didn't have any other clothes on me, so I decided to borrow yours. I hope that's okay," he said sheepishly

"Don't worry, it's totally fine," you reassured him. "Besides, you look cute wearing my clothes"

You gave him a wink before going to return your toothbrush to the bathroom, leaving behind a very flustered emo boy

Janus

If there was one thing Janus hated, it was cold weather

Since he was part snake, he was cold blooded like reptiles, and therefore unable to regulate his body temperature properly, causing him to be particularly drowsy and out of it on colder days

Luckily they lived in Florida, so it was pretty much always warm, but that didn't mean there wasn't the occasional cold front that passed through

Usually he'd have his cape wrapped him on chilly days like this, but unfortunately for him Remus had gotten a strange combination of glitter glue and what he hoped was mayonnaise on it the day before, meaning it had to be washed

He'd been sulking around the house looking for something warm to wear, glaring at anyone who dared to hold his gaze for too long when he spotted one of your sweatshirts laying on the back of the couch

Now, he often found sweatshirts and such to be quite unrefined, and therefore unfit for such a sassy, stylish snake boi such as himself to wear, but he was desperate at this point, and he would do almost anything to feel warm again

Making sure he was alone, he slipped it on, feeling himself become all nice and toasty almost immediately

He'd felt so relaxed and comfortable he hadn't even heard you come down the stairs, looking for the exact same sweatshirt that he happened to have on his body

"Janus, what are you doing?"

He nearly jumped out of his skin at the question, slowly turning around to see you standing at the bottom of the stairs, watching him with an amused look on your face

"Well, I totally didn't steal your sweatshirt because I was cold," he remarked slyly, trying to keep himself from panicking at having been caught

You playfully rolled your eyes at him. "Uh huh, sure. But next time you get cold and you need something warm to borrow, just ask, okay? I don't mind sharing. Plus, I'd hate for my favorite little snake boy to freeze to death"

It was now his turn to roll his eyes, jokingly scoffing at you while you gave him a small boop on the nose

Remus

You were in the shower when Remus popped up in your room like he normally does when he gets bored

He was upset you were taking so long, and while he was tempted to pull a Psycho on you (with a fake knife, of course) he remembered that last time he did something like that you had threatened to shove a bar of soap down his throat if he ever tried it again

While he didn't want to face your wrath for the second time around, he also desperately needed to be entertained, or else he felt as if he might combust

Seeing the pile of clothes you'd been wearing earlier that day lying on the floor gave him a rather naughty idea for a surprise he could have for you once you were done in the bathroom

When you got out of the shower a couple minutes later, you were immediately suspicious to how quiet it was

Usually Remus used your shower time to pull off some sort of crazy, elaborate scheme he could never get away with under your supervision, so complete silence couldn't be a good thing

You hesitantly walked into your bedroom, towel wrapped around you as you quickly scanned the area, trying to see where he might be hiding

"Boo!" He said, jumping out from your closet wearing only a pair of underwear, which to you was nothing new. Until you noticed it was yours, that is

"Remus, are you- are you wearing my underwear?" You asked in disbelief as he paraded around your bedroom, clearly proud of himself

"Yup! And I must say, they fit perfectly," he said flirtatiously, giving you a wink

"Good to hear. Now, take my clothes off, and put your clothes back on. I need to get the dirty laundry together so I can wash it soon"

"If you want them back so badly, why don't you come over here and take them?" He taunted, wiggling his hips

You let out a sigh. It was going to be a long day

(Also I feel kinda bad because Virgil's isn't as long as the rest but I didn't want to rewrite his section so 😭 it is what it is ig)

Sanders Sides masterlist | 🏷 taglist: @iloveentrapta

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rippedstitches · 1 year

Text

I’m gonna try to explain The Dad Stand-In Matrix and make some sort of sense, here we go. And don't take this seriously if you disagree, I don't know what I'm talking about and it's just based on vibes.

The Roy kids receive both affection and abuse from Logan, wrapped up in a fucked little package they all call love. Power, control, domination, this is how you love, and this is how you are loved. The expectation is that the siblings become Logan, so they learn to emulate his behavior, but they also are locked in to a pattern where they must have a “Logan” in their lives to give them that specific kind of "love,” especially when they aren’t in the good graces of the real Logan. In their sibling relationships, these dynamics show up, each sibling existing in relation to Logan, either as his stand in, or as his child.

More under the cut

Roman/Kendall - This is the only relationship with a straightforward, unchanging hierarchy (unless, of course, Dad relationships overshadow this, like in Too Much Birthday). Kendall as Logan, Roman as the child. The person Kendall is with Roman is everything Logan respects, and person Roman is with Kendall is everything Logan despises. (tw csa & cocsa) Strictly headcanon territory here, I believe that Ken was sexually abused by Logan (more for another post I think because it’s not super relevant) and in turn sexually abused Roman during the dog pound game, which contributes to this and further complicates/solidifies their adult relationship. (end tw)

Roman/Shiv - Two children, most of the time. There is a slight conflict, but it's childish, because neither believes the other is serious. Roman wants (subconsciously, none of the sibs are aware of any of this) to be Shiv's Logan, which is where the petty insults and sexually demeaning comments come from, but he just can't go all the way. Because of this, Shiv doesn't ever feel dominated by him, but she also doesn't feel compelled to wield too much power over him either. She likes the banter and the relative lightness of their relationship. She does look down on him though, and this becomes more apparent when she's working with Ken. Despite all this, they're the youngest children, likely close in age, and they grew up together in Kendall's shadow, both having things about them that made them "unworthy" of the top job. I think this is the reason twin theory is so popular, they are very much two siblings.

Shiv/Kendall - Here's why, in my opinion, Shiv and Kendall have the most complicated & hard to pin down relationship of all of the siblings. They see each other as Logan stand ins, but need to become Logan themselves. This creates a constant push-pull, not only between them, but internally. They both want to be on top, and will say and do the most awful things to each other to get there, but they’ll always make up, they’ll always come back. They both want affection and approval from each other, but giving it is seen as weak, and so is accepting it. It’s a dance: Who’s leading? Who’s winning? How can I get the upper hand? Listen to me. Do you want me on your team? Do you think I’m vicious enough? Do you wanna play bitey?

There’s more to be said about the non-sibling relationships, how the actual Logan affects things and where Connor fits into this but you get the idea I think

#succession #roy siblings #fawn.

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infinitesimaldna · 2 days

Note

I love Have Your Considered Killing Your Title? and wanted to ask, what inspired it? did it go through any major plot changes before you settled on what I know it as? the flashbacks broke my heart and I'm curious if that was always how everything was supposed to turn out or if that was a decision you made later on while writing. thank you!!!

Hi!! This took me a while to get to because [insert excuse here] but this made me so happy!

Spoilers for HYECKYT ahead in case anyone wants to read it and hasn't yet lol

The inspiration was very random, and legit came from smushing a couple ideas from my ideas folder together. I had a random note of 'jester Remus and knight Logan,' as if that was a full-fledged idea, but it kind of became one when I combined it. The main inspiration behind the fic was actually the parallels in the quotes by the queen: "When did you get so smart" and "when did you get so insane?" I had that idea of having Remus respond to that in the same way living in my head for YEARS, and when I combined it with that first little scribble of a note, it felt like enough to work with :)

As for major plot changes, I would love to pretend this whole thing came together flawlessly since the beginning, but no. I really entered solely with the idea that I wanted to start with a couple chapters of the twins when they were young, jump ahead to when all the damage had been done, and have the final scene be Remus falling off a cliff. The main "change" I would say the story went through was I spent a LONG time waffling over which twin should be the crown prince. There were benefits and setbacks to either of them being chosen, and either way I chose it just didn't feel like there was a way to connect it to that ending I knew I wanted. It also felt like neither character would really gain/lose anything from that reveal, nothing they really cared about anyway. I have no idea where I got the idea to have the twist over the crown prince came from, but I will forever be grateful for it, as I think it works so well with the narrative I told.

I also love that you appreciate the flashbacks! They were some of my favorite parts to write. They came about from wanting a way to factor in POV's like Roman's, without it feeling like we were switching out of nowhere. Plus, I loved the idea of the reader having a "what happened?" moment when we jumped to Remus at age 18 and see just how much had changed, before going back and showing those glimpses of how it happened.

Last thing, I suppose everything mostly turned out the way it was supposed to since the beginning. I always wanted Roman to be the one to force him off the cliff, I always wanted Remus to take it as a freedom instead of something awful, and I'll be honest, I don't have it in me to write creativitwins without a happy ending. These two are my everything, and I've had that image of a bowing Remus smiling up at Roman from his jester's costume living in my head for months.

Seriously though, thank you so much for this ask! I love rambling about this fic, and any other questions are seriously appreciated. I'm really glad you enjoyed it, and I hope to bring more awesome stuff in the future :)

#HYECKYT fanfic #remus sanders #roman sanders #writing rambles

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chaithetics · 1 year

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hi youuu! :)

first, english is not my first language so sorry for possible mistakes! and second, I just wanted to say that I love porcelain and shark so much!! stewy being a dad was definitely a thing <333 and i'm really excited and really looking forward to new things from reader roy who is now a hosseini (we love that!!!). maybe getting pregnant again? and maybe part of the family judging her for that? (that sounds terrible but im sure logan or shiv would do that lol) or more about her kids or her and stewy just being a cute couple I DON'T KNOW just more content stewy would already make this person - me!!! - happier 😭

and i was also a little curious about stewy's drug habits lol like there was roman joking but how does the reader actually deal with it? I know it sounds like a lot but I noticed you like details and just trying not to make my request a little vague? hahah and YESSS my Succession Sunday was a Succession Monday morning because when I went to sleep there was nothing and when I woke up there was new content so I imagine it's the time zone too hahah but I'm not complaining! (and I'm not the anon who talked about this, I'm just being nosy 🤭)

and just one more thing that's just me being curious IS THE LAST ONE HAHAHAH reader and stewy have an age difference right? I imagine he's the same age as kendall because they went to college together and she's the youngest child.. and anyway it's not important hahah, it's just me thinking.

it got big but I hope to make up for it by wishing you a great day lmao 💕 💕

Hey lovely Nonnie!!!

I'm so, so, so, so glad you enjoyed that piece! It makes me so happy, I was a bit anxious to post it honestly so thank you! Also don't apologise about that, English is an awful language that isn't easy (I grew up in a house with other languages being spoken). You worded everything perfectly and don't owe anyone "perfect english".

Okay my responses feel borderline headcannony/ thoughty so I'll bullet point them, I hope that's okay!

Roy reader will definitely get pregnant again in the future! I just wanted her and Stewy to have a bit of a break before another young child 😂

In the 80th, Jonathan is 3 (closer to 4) and Tillie is around 1. Porce and Stewy definitely read child development books and decided they wanted to try spacing it out so there was at least a couple of years between each child. They didn't want big or small gaps between the children.

The original Nonnie that sent in the prompts had a couple about the relationship between Porce and Shiv being tense and I 100% agree with that. Fanfiction is fanfiction and I completely support people writing characters how they want/out of character but I personally try to write the Roys as realistically as possible to the Canon. I cannot imagine Shiv liking or having a good relationship with a younger sister. She already feels threatened by her brothers but she'd feel more threatened by another woman in the picture and especially one that is younger and has the moniker of the youngest daughter. Especially in Logan's eyes. I do think Shiv would like what she views as protection by having someone in the picture who is weaker to the men and she can join them on calling Porce that. We also see that Shiv embraces masculinity in a way to play in the patriarchy to try and be taken more seriously and advance herself (her manner of speaking especially to other women, the pantsuits, the switch from S1 to S2 onwards in fashion etc.) So Shiv without a doubt would look down on Porce for what she thinks is embracing feminity by marriage, motherhood etc. So Shiv would definitely look down on her for getting pregnant again and not like the attention it gets Porce and Stewy.

I don't know think I got too into it in the 80th or if it's more in some of the drafts I have atm. But I think Logan would fall into that type of abusive patriarch that the abuse still comes through with his grandkids but is better with them than he is with his children. Which I imagine conflicts the Roy siblings a bit as well.

Also, after what's revealed in the series finale about Sophie and Iverson, I imagine that it's something that was a big deal and then became something that was somewhat unspoken but known by all in the family, I feel like Shiv's response confirmed that as well. So I imagine there would be an awkward dynamic around Logan somewhat favouring Porce's children a bit just because they're biological. I think he'd be somewhat glad about those pregnancies as they're more "heirs" and carrying the bloodline. Plus with him being a misogynist he probably thinks that it's her way of contributing/carrying out duties or whatever thinly veiled excuse of misogyny he wants to spout. But I do think he has some issues with them being Hosseinis instead of Roys, especially as things go on because of who Stewy is and what he's doing.

There will be more fluffy Stewy content! I PROMISE! I live for the fluff haha!

There might also eventually be some angst, the original nonnie did send some stuff in about the proxy battle but I do have some thoughts around Shiv's wedding/the bear hug and Austerlitz. So... 👀

HAHAHA! I'm sorry but when you said that you noticed I like details I started laughing because I felt so seen 😂 You're not wrong. I do love details!

When Roman did the body gesture and Porce said he was a bad role model I personally imagined that was somewhat aimed at Kendall. Like he was comparing himself in an "Well I'm a better role model/uncle!" Kind of way but it can definitely be read as a jab at Stewy or Kendall or both of them.

I felt like based after 4 seasons of the Roys and how they treat him even when he's sober, they would definitely make comments like the ones Roman made in the bathroom even if Stewy was clean. I kind of would like to think that Stewy doesn't use cocaine after being married and having children. But if he does (which is probably likely) I imagine he'd use responsibly, small doses, never at home/in front of or around the children. I feel like that's more realistic? But I'm not sure. I don't want to write it super casually when cocaine use is a serious topic and a lot of awful stuff happens because of that, addiction in the show and more importantly reality. I'm more than happy to hear peoples thoughts on it, it's probably something I won't honestly address too much or go into detail of at this stage? But I'm probably leaning towards writing that Stewy's sober now in that regard.

But IF he does still use, I imagine it's that it's not often, it's just "for business" occasionally and that it follows the rules of small doses, never in front of or around the children. It happens very rarely. They have that as guidelines and I imagine that and lots of reassurances/Stewy following through on that would help ease her anxiety a little bit. It's basically Canon that Porce and Stewy are relationship communication Champs.

Yes they do have an age difference.

Do I know what the age difference is? Nope 😂

We never really find out anything about the characters ages except that Logan is 80 at the start and that Kendall is 40 in S3. The shows timeline is also intentionally vague, I think Jesse Armstrong just said that he imagines it taking place over a couple of years. But it's safe to assume that Stewy would also have been 40 in S3 as they went to Buckley and Harvard together. We don't know the age gap between the younger three siblings over plus there's heaps of debate over the birth order of Roman and Shiv and the twin hints. So I can't comment on what the difference is but I do like the twin theory and I feel like (despite Sarah Snook being a lot younger than the others) it's like a 3-5 year age gap between Kendall and Shiv and Roman. So I imagine Stewy and Porce have a 5-7 year age gap at the most? As you can tell, I didn't really think about the logistics 😂 it's probably not a factor I'll go into anyway. But it was interesting to think about the math and decisions about the Canon Roys!

Haha! Welcome to the world of Succession Mondays! I hope it was a good morning read haha! But yes, timezones are very, very, very weird and you're always welcome to be nosey!

But these will definitely be included in some of the pieces coming out! I hope you enjoyed them and you're always welcome to send in requests, questions or thoughts! It wasn't too big at all btw! Thank you so much for reaching out Nonnie! Especially with such thoughtful and engaging questions Nonnie! I hope you have a lovely week and a great Succession Sunday/Monday 💗

#succession #stewy hosseini #stewy hosseini x reader #porcelain and the shark #requests open #stewy hosseini x roy reader #requests #hbo succession #stewy hosseini x roy!reader #chaitheticsasks

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danwhobrowses · 8 months

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My Highlights from Royal Rumble 2024

So it's people throwing season again, soon to be sign pointing season

The Royal Rumble remains perhaps the secondmost highlight of WWE's calendar, mainly as it sets the wheels for Wrestlemania. This one however has a stacked amount of names but an air of distaste given the lawsuit against Vince McMahon, allegations which are horrid and egregious and would justify anyone who sought not to watch the show in response to it.

Still, the PPV was something to check out...albeit not through paid transaction, so let's talk about the positives of the show

Spoilers for the PPV

The Pre-Show is worthless save for Paul Heyman who always delivers on the promo

Pat McAfee always feels happy to show up at least

Nice to hear Naomi get a pop again

Even though it failed in the end, Kairi's hold-on was pretty cool

Showing the top 3 active wrestler's times was a nice bit of information too

Big ass wings from Zelina

Shotzi got a bigger tank this time

Oh Truth...

Bayley was very much the right call to win too

They at least explained why the count wasn't made during the stack, even if it's bull

Oh Hey Logan Paul actually has some decent gear...

Putting the Usos to start the Men's Rumble is a clever move

Andrade's extra headpiece for his mask was cool

Reminder that technically since nobody entered in place of Rey Mysterio last year and that Cody left over the top rope that he technically won last year's Royal Rumble

Kaiser with the casual sidestep as Lashley brawled with AOP next to him

GUNTHER, that is all

Truth trying to tag in XD Then doing the Cena 5 moves of doom

Gotta hand it to him Dom sold the hell out of being thrown over

SAMI, would've been a great surprise winner

'Sami Zayn used to have a windpipe'

The mini match of Cody and Punk started well, kinda showing that really they could've had a Mania match and left the rumble winner a surprise because they got too obsessed with each other

Conclusion

Eh, I didn't have as good a time as I'd hoped I'm afraid. A lot of dead space or things not clicking; the US title and UNI title matches were forgettable, the former's finish was awful. Jordynne showing up was a surprise spoiled already but even then it happened last year with Mickie anyway, not much novelty there, plus she eliminated nobody and was felled in a minute against Belair, classic WWE-ism of 'oh this is a top person for you? Well they're not as good as our non-champion'. Pat eliminating himself was a waste of time, and as much as Jade had a good showing like, Nia? Really? We've seen many pick up Nia Jax let's be serious here. Also neither Jimmy or Jey eliminated each other, what was the point of them as the first two? GUNTHER deserved better than being eliminated by Cody yet again and Drew and Punk literally did the same thing before they were eliminated.

I suppose it'd be enjoyable if you were a WWE-only who believes everything commentary says, even when they contradicted themselves on the night when Waller and Theory referenced Luger/Hart's win and then later Cole went 'no rumble has had 2 winners'. But even then the men's rumble was woefully obvious, Cody winning back to back just feels uninspired too, they're literally trying to run it back after dropping the ball last time - except, with no WWE championship anymore Cody can't really finish the story of winning the title his father was robbed of winning now can he? It's just, not surprising, and that's been the theme of this entire event because you saw most of it coming a mile off; Jade, Naomi, Jordynne, Andrade, Cody/Punk final two, Solo interferes in Roman's match, Logan Paul wins beat cheap means it's just meh, the only genuine surprise was Sami coming back and he barely lasted. Also I gotta say that WWE's method of lying to media to try and put people off the scent; 'Ronda Rousey isn't returning in the rumble' (not this year ofc), 'oh Punk talks fell apart he won't return at Survivor Series', 'Cody's not finishing the story this year', it isn't a misdirect it's just fucking lying. And man Punk's credibility continues to drop when he talks about how great it is in the company that he accused of making him mentally ill and then doing a Pedigree in the ring, bad enough that Cody does one as a face after he kept teasing it as a symbol of a heel turn in AEW and then left before he did.

On the plus side at least, Bayley deserved that win.

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girlfictions · 1 year

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hari need to know your thoughts on the succession finale once you finish it 🙏

i’ve genuinely been in a state of shock since i finished the ep so i’m probably going to ramble terribly bc my brain will explode otherwise.... thoughts under the cut!!! and massive spoiler warning obviously 💪

OKAAYYY in no particular order:

greg getting whacked was beautiful i wish he'd been stomped into a pulp honestly sorry for not being able to separate the art from the artist but nicholas braun is a weasel and i hope he gets hit by a car

that being said tom and greg's interactions this ep were top tier i'm not a tomgreg enthusiast like That but i think every scene of theirs was hilarious as it was twisted

tom this whole episode... phenomenal. matthew is just a cut above in terms of acting he embodied tom's hunger and desperation and patheticisms so perfectly i really felt more and more unsettled by him every appearance

i do wish we had more stewy screentime but i also wish that for every single episode arian moayed is so freaking talented and charismatic and amazing and he ate up every second he was on screen

speaking of stewy. "you kiss guys on molly" <- BITCH.....? i actually don't know if i've mentioned this on tumblr but i'm a kenstewinator for life and frankly this was confirmation that they explored each other's bodies at college idgaf what anyone has to say about it

ohhhh my god the fucking "meal fit for a king" scene. i can't even find the words for it. seeing them all so happy and having so much fun with each other in that moment was just so heartbreaking bc i KNEW it wasn't going to last 😭 like my mum and i literally checked how much time was left in the episode after that scene and looked at each other like Wellll something terrible is going to happen isn't it.

kendall My beautiful baby boy kendall IM SORRY I WASNT YOUR MOTHERRRRRRRR . i could honestly write an essay about kendall in this episode alone i have never seen such a tragic crumbling of the self maybe ever. him sitting at logan's desk thinking he's finally won... his reaction to shiv betraying their deal... him attacking roman like i was seriously breathless my god that entire sequence was fucking crazy

and to be quite honest if i was kendall in that situation well i would have killed myself in that damn board room and changed the trajectory of all those old hags lives forever . like "i'm a cog built for one machine" And now he has nothing no father no siblings no wife no kids no company my fucking goddddddd 🤦‍♀️

i started chanting "please please please dont kill yourself" out loud in the final scene and i'm dead serious the kendall water motif HAUNTS ME and i was so freaking scared . but that final frame is honestly equally awful like kendall alone with colin in the background him basically becoming logan with none of the power this is seriously the worst possible ending for him.....

shiv doomed to repeat the pattern of being under a man's thumb is genuinely so deeply demented jesse armstrong sleep with one eye open. and i hate it so much because it makes so much SENSE like yeah she's lady macbeth she's caroline she's the wife she's the mother and she will never be anything else okay OKAYY.

like that scene w her and tom in the car where he waits for her to hold his hand was so fucking spine chilling also the ambiguity of us not knowing whether tom knows that shiv was the deciding vote in his favour is crazy <- i do think it makes sense that he would know but just shiv having that as a bargaining chip so they can sting each other over and over again like its all about the cycles i fear

roman being so resigned to it all by the end was sick like ok that comment about kendall's kids was evil but i still felt for him howeverr i do think out of the trio he will be objectively the most okay in the future... like he's free from it all in a way shiv obviously isn't and kendall literally can't be

honestly i'm struggling to articulate anything more i'm still so overwhelmed by how it came to a close.. never have i watched a show that left me so heartbroken and hollow but also absolutely satisfied narratively like succession is going down in the history books FR 😭

also they're def going to sweep the emmys and it will be so deserved i seriously think they need to invent a new rule to allow for a tie because i cannot imagine how they're going to decide between kieran and jeremy for best lead... <- i do lean a little towards jeremy bc i'm a biased kendall girl but kieran's performance esp in the first half of this season was just jawdropping so who knows

this got really long i'm so sorry but i feel like a crazed woman what a fucking show what a fucking ending i will never be the same after this SUCCESSION YOU WILL ALWAYS BE SO FAMOUS !!!!!!!!!!!!

#succession #succession spoilers

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agerestorybits · 2 years

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Hi! Can I have agere Patton hurt/comfort? I'm kinda sad and kin Patton aggressively lmao

That is so valid.

Agere Patton, Cg Janus

warnings, arguing.

Patton wasn't fine. He was trying to be, He wanted to be! He was just worn out. He had been wearing himself out trying to make sure everyone was ok. Maybe part of that was selfish, running himself into the ground to make sure everyone else was happy and didn't hate him. At some points he wasn't doing this because he wanted his family happy, he just didn't want to deal with anymore conflict.

He felt like a frayed rope that was one bad thing away from snapping in half. As much as he did his best to keep everything calm he couldn't prevent life from sweeping his legs out from under him.

It was just a cup. Knocked out of the cupboard by Remus while he was reaching for his cup. The cup that was Virgil's favorite.

The cup that shattered across the floor. Purple shards of glass covering the tiles.

"Remus!" Virgil yelled as he saw the remains of his cup.

"Oops." Remus said with a smile liking not the least bit guilty. "Did I do that?" He asked with mock innocence.

It was just a cup. Patton thought frozen in his seat as Virgil and Remus quickly took up fighting and everyone else picked sides. Roman siding with Virgil, Saying Remus should have been more careful. Logan came to Remus' defense saying it was an accident.

Janus had excused himself from the room as the conversion heated up and Patton really wished he had left with him. He sat there trying to hold back the wave of awful that seemed to fill every part of him. Blocking his throat from speaking, weighing his limbs into staying still and unmoving.

"Patton!" He jumped and looked up towards Virgil who had said his name. "Tell him he's wrong!"

"Jeez tattling?" Remus teased.

"If Remus apologized will you both drop this?" Logan asked.

"NO!" Both of them yelled at the same time making Patton want to cover his ears but he still couldn't move right. Everything felt like it was getting far away and unfocused and he just wanted to get away from the awfulness of what was happening around him. Patton stood up almost knocking his chair over in his haste, He could feel everyone's eyes on him as he left the room as normally as he could.

"Where are you in a rush to-" Janus started before looking closer at Patton, His indifferent expressed faded to concern. "Are you alright?"

"No." Patton choked out before sobbing as the tears started. Janus opened his arms and Patton was quick to lean into the hug.

"It's alright. Let's go somewhere quieter." Janus said as the argument continued downstairs.

Janus closed the door to Patton's bedroom as soon as they got inside. It was quiet other than the soft crying that Patton did as he clung to Janus' side.

Janus gently led him over to the bed, not letting go and managed to get them both sitting on the edge. "It's alright."

"No! I don't like it!" Patton sobbed, "I don't wanna do this anymore! I can't do it!"

unfortunately Janus already knew exactly what Patton was talking about and he hugged him tighter, unable to honestly say it would be okay. Patton was wearing himself trying to keep the peace but sometimes keeping the peace led to more damage then fighting.

"You don't have to do it alone." Janus said softly.

Patton looked up at him, "Promise?"

"I promise." Janus said.

"For real?" Patton asked. Janus would have been offended if he didn't know how often the others made promises only to 'forget' them.

"Yes." Janus said. "You aren't alone."

Janus grabbed a tissue and started drying Patton's face. Frowning slightly at the dark circles under his eyes. This was a problem that would take a long time to solve. A good first step was helping Patton catch up on some sleep. Janus faked a yawn, pleased when Patton copied.

"I don't know about you, But I didn't sleep well lately. I could really use a nap." Janus said watching the way Patton looked at him hopefully. "Think you can be my cuddle bug and help me sleep?"

Patton nodded eagerly and let go of Janus so he could crawling under the blankets. Wiggling impatiently for Janus to join him. Janus laid down next to him, pulling Patton to his chest.

Patton wasn't fine, but Janus would be sure to do his best to help him get through this.

#agere patton #cg janus

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cowboyhorsegirl · 1 year

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Final Suck-Session character ranking?

this is a somewhat pared down list bc i don't really care about mattson & his crew and i hope my opinion on mencken goes without saying

(list from most worst to least worst)

Roman Roy, congrats rome you finally won something! he gets promoted to number one worst roy because he was the most directly involved in getting mencken picked as the republican nominee, covered favorably by ATN, and (maybe?) elected as president. this man is a fascist, racist, and sexist and i think he's despicable. he's a little baby bitch boy. i'm putting him back in the dog cage for the next 10 elections.

Logan Roy, logan gets bumped to second place bc he died, and i'm very glad he decided to do that. but other than that he's awful

Tom Wambsgans, really good at being in the right place at the right time to further his career goals. unfortunately his career goals are reprehensible. he is this generation's logan roy: more self-aware, more careful, perhaps more sensitive, but no less cruel.

Kendall Roy, he is like a man if the poison dripped down.

Shiv Roy, i am afraid of the next chapter of her life. Not afraid for her. Afraid of her.

Frank & Karl, whatever. I feel nothing towards or against them.

Gerri Kellman, bad bitch. she left no survivors.

Karolina Novotney, unironically i just like Karolina. i hate that she works for waystar royco and that she's amazing at it, but she manages to do her job without making any major enemies (i don't count hugo because hugo is the equivalent of a fly buzzing around her, a minor inconvenience), she's direct and fair, no-nonsense. 10/10 would want PGM and/or the Jimenez camp to poach her from waystar royco.

Connor Roy, I almost forgot to rank Connor oh no!!! i wish connor would get out of politics and become a boy scout leader or something.

Stewy Hosseini, lol. lmao. my problematic (he's a venture capitalist) fave (he's a bisexual muslim)

Jess Jordan, I wish this show had been all about her :/

#evwatches #succession #anon #signed sealed delivered

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thinkatoryprocess · 1 year

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After this finale I am VERY interested in how you deal with Shiv in dkau. Even though you’re setting this up for season 3 this finale pretty much brought them right back there more or less in terms of Kendall’s emotional state and the siblings specifically Shiv acting to put him in a very dark place. Season 3 there was the letter season 4 we have her refusal to vote. And we have Kendall saying to her, “I might actually die if I can’t do this.” So once again we have Shiv fully refusing to deal with the fact that Kendall IS suicidal. He has attempted in the past. He has self destructive traits and while it’s not her responsibility I do think she’s filled with so much resentment and anger and jealousy towards Kendall that she is just fully in denial about where her actions could eventually lead. With season 4 I don’t think Kendall is going to do anything and Jesse confirmed Kendall’s not offing himself over this. But it is crazy that Shiv found herself in a VERY similar position in season 4 as she did with season 3 but this time she is fully aware of the suicide attempt after and she does the exact same thing. And I think she’s okay with this because like with Logan she never even for a second or hunks that Kendall will ACTUALLY die, their relationship might (and I think has) but Kendall himself won’t. So now she has to be confronted with the sickening reality that she was wrong. And how does she even exist outside of Kendall? Because if there’s one thing this finale laid bare for me is that this whole thing was always really about Shiv vs Kendall. And Roman’s crushing guilt is still going to be there because of his series of bad choices leading up to Ken’s death and the walking open wound he’s going to become while grieving but man. Shiv. Also have you changed your mind about Connor and Willa not being together in dkau post this season? I know you were originally intending to break them up but now I really can’t see her leaving. Also I love them together.

Okay, a couple of things to address here re: Dead Kendall AU:

Shiv's guilt will be absolutely hideous and she will not cope with it well, nor will she manage to keep this from being everyone's problem. The guilt will tilt into fucking awful denial and harshness that will make her really, really hard to deal with, especially if you're really sensitive about the situation like Roman will be. There'll be friction between Naomi and Shiv, and Roman and Shiv will clash a lot as his instinctive nasty response to insecurities and fear smash up against hers. The Roys learned to use fear as fuel to attack. As we know, they will never hesitate to attack each other. She'll double down with Tom and push to get one of them into the CEO spot. Thinking Waystar totally folds into GoJo or Tom gets American CEO, because no one else is mentally prepared to step in, not even Shiv.

Ultimately, Shiv will sincerely believe she killed Kendall with the letter, and she will never come back from that. She won't heal because she doesn't think she deserves to.

I think Connor and Willa stay together; I'm far more convinced of them after this final season than I was in season 3.

#asks #dead kendall au #succession spoilers

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jeniffercheck · 8 months

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tw // but you are the shivpert to ME and I was wondering what you think about the scene early in season 1 with logan and shiv when she goes to visit him and he's delirious and moves her hand down. I know a lot of fandom people don't consider the early season 1 stuff canon because so much was still being figured out but I would love to hear what you think

aw omg i'm honored to be your shivpert, there are so many in our fandom i feel like i am always learning something new from someone else 😭

light TW for SA (not talking about anything outside of the canon of the show) and of course i'll tag it as well -- but this topic is actually really interesting to me, and i've been meaning to think about it more just with myself LMFAO. i can see where a lot of people are coming from when they think these small moments in s1 don't count toward the rest of the show, but i actually do consider them really integral and informative for a lot of things they get into later on!!

that scene, shiv x roman's date rape by calvin klein scene (one of my favorite jokes of the whole show Pilot you will always be famous), and kendall getting a boner for rava in the hospital in s1 all stand out to me as kind of scenes of the same vein. i do believe to a certain extent that Succ was trying to live up to the HBO raunch, and the show seemed a lottt more interested in sex as a plot point then, (the shivnate car sex?????), but that's not to say it was just "needless," because i don't think it was excessive even if the tone is a little bit different than the rest of the show.

that moment with shiv, to me, is the earliest defining moment of shiv's entire "fuck around and find out" arc, and i honestly think that even IF s1 had the same tone as 2-4, they might leave that scene in. it was such an earnest display of the way that her stubbornness/honest efforts always blow up in her face and it's not all that different to her other standout moments in the show, ie. tern haven, the "would you stop buzzing in my ear" at the shareholder meeting, the s3 finale, 'rape me' speech at waystar, argestes panel, etc. etc. etc. -- also all culminating in voting TOM as CEO, which was not her plan when she negotiated a board seat for herself!!

succession at its core is just soooo wild, and that scene was very wild (i would argue kendall's boner at the hospital to be one of their bolder choices i will say) and i do also have more (and different) thoughts about the sexualization of shiv roy, BUTTT like i said above, i think the point of it was to be jarring, (and the jarring part about it is that when you get to that point of that episode, you're not really used to succession's antics yet, so they start at 100 instead of 0) and really show in one isolated incident, Shiv Roy's dedication to fucking around and finding out<33 it's so HER like truly only that would happen to her 😭

[as an aside: i do think it's very interesting under the context of shiv's sexualization as well, especially with all of the slut jokes aimed at her in season 1, and the focus on her promiscuity and obvious daddy issues, but i think it's more intentional symbolism than maybe people like to give it credit for]

#i hope this makes sense #marcia easily could've said 'hey shiv he's been acting a little weird' instead of making shiv think she's got him as a meat puppet up there #but then we wouldn't have had the drama #i love this show #and shiv<333 #answered #tw sa

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violets-and-books · 11 months

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3, 5, 21 for the fanfic ask game if you're so inclined <3

Thank you for the ask, my love <3

3 - Favourite fic that I've written

That's actually a tough one....... I'm gonna say either Starlight or As You Wish because they're both one shots that I really enjoyed writing, really enjoy rereading and have sparked ideas that could form full fics if I wanted to

(also As You Wish has the added bonus of being a birthday one shot for you, my darling, so that's always good)

5 - What is a fic idea you'll never write?

WHERE do I begin?

The one that springs to mind easiest is my Six of Crows circus au. But there's a lot of others, like all my Sanders Sides fics and ideas that have been abandoned and also all my Star Trek ideas. They've both been abandoned for different reasons

21 - Have you ever deleted a scene you've laboured over?

Yes. If you remember Spindle Wood, love, (god, the days of Wattpad, ew) a lot of those scenes were either reworkings or completely different scenes. The one I remember specifically is when Logan's in the dungeon and Roman comes to save him. That got a lot of deleting and working over and it was still awful in the end so yayyyyy, doesn't matter, lol

#vi <3 #blaize answers #ask game #fanfic asks #fanfic ask game

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audioaujom · 1 year

Text

(7) Hours Pass

LTWF Hub, < prev, next >

Welcome back! I don’t have a whole lot to say, except that I struggle so badly with coming up with titles and this was no exception. Just credit this one to the fact I was listening got After Dark while working. Anyway, I hope the increasing angst and brief humor/fluff breaks are enjoyable! And don’t worry! Things only get worse from here ((:

Word Count: 2376

Chapter TWs: Mentioned Past Abusive Relationship, Manipulation, Tasing

The next week was freaking awful.

Janus was everywhere. He was waiting for Patton outside of all of his classes, sitting across from him when he ate in the dining hall, and it was only a matter of time before he scammed his way into Patton’s dorm as a guest. It was driving him crazy.

Not that any of his friends were terribly thrilled about Janus’ appearance, either.

“Stupid snake boy. Gives me the freakin’ willies.” Roman had commented the night after Janus had appeared, Patton looking up from the textbook he was reading in confusion.

“Snake…?”

“It's how I see him!” Roman defended, going back to skimming something on his phone. “But seriously, Virgil and I can walk you to and from class when Logan can't so you never have to be alone with him.”

Patton smiled slightly at the offer, a real wave of relief rushing over him. “...thanks, Roman.”

“Anything for you, my fair roommate!”

The next morning, Roman and Patton left together so Roman could make his morning Intro to Performance and Patton could grab breakfast with Virgil, running into Janus in the lobby as expected.

“Oh, good, there you are. Patton, really, I'm sorry.” To Janus’ credit he looked genuinely apologetic, holding a container of cookies—snickerdoodles, to be exact, which just so happened to be Patton’s favorite. “If I’d known how much he really meant to you, I never would've—!”

“Bullshit.” Roman cut him off, slinging a protective arm over Patton’s shoulders and sneering at Janus. “And I bet those taste awful.”

“Patton used to love when I made them.” Janus said with a fond smile, Patton’s stomach churning. “Can’t you please just accept them? It doesn't have to mean anything more than an ‘I’m sorry’. It’s just a place to start, so to speak.”

“Yes, because when the Evil Queen offers you an apple, you take it.” Roman rolled his eyes, steering Patton towards the dining hall with a frown. “Back off, Dr. Connors.”

Janus was stunned into silence as the two left, left alone in the lobby trying to follow Roman’s reference as Patton and Virgil found a two person table and got something to eat.

Janus tried again during Patton’s Astronomy class about an hour later, only for Logan to snatch the container from Patton’s desk and drop it unceremoniously into the trash can.

“Unless I can verify all of the ingredients used, I think it's safer to dispose of them.” He'd said dismissively, Janus shaking his head sadly as the professor ushered him out.

“You used to trust me. Love me, even.” Janus lamented with an exaggerated frown and a single tear, Patton staring resolutely down at his notebook. “I just wish your friends would allow me the grace of a second chance.”

“Not likely.” Logan shut the door in his face then took his desk at the front as class began—not missing the grateful smile Patton shot his way.

Eventually Janus gave up on trying to apologize—having heard enough of Roman’s insults and Logan’s dismissal—and tried to change tactics, to much more disastrous results.

“Good morning, Roman.” Janus greeted, firmly gluing himself to Roman’s other side as Patton watched him worriedly. “Heading off to class?”

Roman huffed, trying to put some space between them as the three continued walking. “Why is that any of your business, Stheno-one-likes-you?”

“How scathing.” Janus mumbled sarcastically, before batting the attitude away in a flutter of eyelashes. “I was simply wondering how busy you would be today. Perhaps if you gave me a chance you’d see I’m not all bad.”

“Excuse me?” Roman sputtered, nearly stopping in his tracks as Janus lightly grabbed at his arm. “I am for the first time ever going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you did not just ask me what I think you asked me.”

“I’m afraid I did.” Janus smirked slightly, further cozying up to Roman. “I’m just worried that since we parted on such bad terms, our dear Patton may have given you the wrong—”

Janus was cut off by a loud buzzing and his whole body seizing, falling to the floor as Virgil appeared—standing over him with a taser. “Shut the fuck up.”

“Virgil!” Patton exclaimed in shock, one hand covering his mouth as he frantically looked around at everyone in the building common area that was watching the commotion.

“I have no complaints.” Roman shrugged, lightly kicking at Janus’ still twitching form.

“People are staring!”

“Let them!” Unbothered, Roman patted Virgil on the shoulder with a smile before turning back to Patton. “You guys go eat, I’ll catch you after your recitation.”

Virgil tugged Patton away towards the dining hall as Roman jogged off for his class, leaving a large crowd behind as they went—none of which offered to help Janus to his feet.

On the following Monday, Patton hoped desperately that the mess would be over—only to see Janus sitting on top of Logan’s desk when he marched into 102 that morning.

“Janus, what are you doing here?” He stumbled out, nervous, seeing the way Logan glared at him from his seat.

“I offered to help! As a tutor, of course.” Janus hopped off the desk, smirking wide. “Your lovely ATA seems to be overworked so I figured I would step in. Professor Sanders said he would be delighted to have my help.”

“I was not consulted on this decision.” Logan interrupted, Janus waving a dismissive hand in the air.

“Besides, I'd love to get a little closer to Logan. Learn what I did wrong; learn what he’s doing right. Just for you.”

“Stay away from him, Janus.” Patton threatened with more resolve than he felt, swatting away Janus’ attempt to grab one of his hands. “And for that matter, stay away from me!”

Lecture was unbearably long, Patton unable to focus on anything except the constant longing looks Janus shot his way during the hour, thankful when they were dismissed so he could grab Logan by the arm and drag him away from the room to get some space.

Logan was the first to speak when they found an empty classroom to rest in, hands politely clasped in front of him. “I'm sorry, Patton. I tried to object but Professor Sanders wouldn't listen.”

“It's not your fault, Logan.” Patton sighed, sitting down on the floor and covering his head with his hands. “If anything this feels like my fault.”

“It's nobody’s fault but Janus’.” Logan corrected firmly, slowly sinking to the ground beside Patton. “We’ll figure something out, but for now Roman, Virgil, and I are content enough with scaring him off.”

Ignoring the bleariness in his eyes, Patton looked up with a wobbly smile. “And I appreciate it, I really do, but… we can't do that forever.”

“Virgil probably could.” Logan shrugged, sitting all the way down. “Probably would, to be more accurate.”

“Yeah, I know.” Patton laughed quietly, sniffing a little before staring down at his lap. “He, um, he was there when all this stuff happened with him the first time.”

“You don't have to tell me anything you're uncomfortable with, Patton.”

“I know, it’s just…” Trailing off awkwardly, Patton sighed as Logan patiently waited for him to continue. “If you’re gonna be putting up with all this for my sake, you should know what happened.”

“Only if you’re sure.” Logan said softly, reaching one of his hands out for Patton—the mechanics whirring softly as his fingers slowly unfurled.

“We went to high school together, and… he was so sweet. And he was one of very few people I knew who was open about his sexuality and he made me feel so… special.” Patton reached out to grab Logan’s hand to ground himself, squeezing the metal with a faraway smile. “Virgil never liked him, and for a while Janus had me convinced it was because he was jealous of how much time we spent together, but… by the fourth time he’d broken up with me over some convoluted mess he convinced me was my fault, Virgil sat me down and set me straight.” Patton used his free hand to fight off any forming tears that threatened to spill, trying his best to seem nonchalant or at least distanced as he added, “Obviously there was a lot more than just that, but… he probably thinks I’ll just come running back like I always did if he’s nice enough.”

“I’m glad you understand that none of his behavior—then or now—is acceptable.” Logan admitted after a long moment of silence, not wanting the story to hang in the air any longer. “Getting out of a situation like that is very difficult, and I don’t want you to feel as if you have to minimize those feelings just because it happened in the past.”

“Wow, that’s good advice.” Patton let out a watery laugh, forcing a teasing smile as he squeezed Logan’s hand again. “Where in your programming did you learn that?”

“I… didn’t.” Hesitating a little, Patton watched in concern as Logan averted his eyes. “It’s just the most logical way to approach the situation, and… I’m happy that you’re not with him anymore.”

“Really?” Patton asked, waiting for Logan to finally look back up at him before smiling gently. “That’s sweet.”

“You can talk to me anytime you need to, Pat.” Logan promised, his eyes flickering with a sincerity Patton hadn’t noticed in them before. “We’ll ‘run defense’—as Roman put it—for you as long as needed. If that expression makes any sense.”

“Maybe once he disappears, I can tell you more about it.” Patton rolled his eyes, using his hold on Logan’s hand to tug him over and hug him from the side. “You know, to get it all out.”

“Yeah. I would like that.” Logan agreed, the two sitting in a peaceful silence only broken by Logan quietly mumbling to himself, “...I would like that.” a while later.

They eventually had to leave as a class started coming into the room, the two laughing to themselves as they ran off down the halls before splitting up as Patton had another class to get to. They had agreed to meet up the next afternoon between classes as they had been doing, Patton excitedly running to meet him to catch up on the lecture notes he’d missed while being unable to pay attention due to a certain someone. However, it only took a few minutes into their discussion for Patton to realize that something was off. Logan kept staring off into space and trailing off, his mind clearly occupied by something that seemed to be distressing—if his ever-increasing frown was any indication.

“Are you okay, Logan?” Patton finally gave in to his worry and asked, startling Logan out of whatever train of thought he was lost in.

“I just… have a lot of things to think about.” Logan explained vaguely, putting on an unconvincing smile. “But I am quite alright. How are you doing?”

“I’m good, just worried about you now.” Patton looked him over again, hoping to gain some kind of clue about what was going on and coming up empty. “Anything you’d like to talk about?”

“Really, it’s nothing to be concerned over.” Logan dismissed again, before pointing back to Patton’s notebook. “You were asking me something about exoplanets?”

“Right, yeah.” Patton smiled awkwardly, turning his attention back to his growing page of notes as they went back to talking about lecture. Just as Patton was getting ready to start working on a new page, however, he suddenly felt Logan’s hand lightly land on his shoulder, startling them both. “What—?!”

“I’m sorry, Patton, I… don’t know why I did that.” Logan apologized immediately, setting both of his hands in his lap under the table and refusing to look at him.

“It’s fine.” Patton shook his head, ignoring the wash of bad feelings and choosing to focus only on his concern for his friend. “I just… what was that?”

After receiving no answer and Logan hurriedly leaving soon after, Patton was starting to freak out a little. He made his way to the engineering building, hoping that Virgil would still be inside—and luckily finding his friend tinkering away with some strange spider-like robot contraption on his desk.

“Hey, Virge, can you look over Logan for me?” Patton asked as soon as his friend looked up at him, raising his eyebrows in worry. “Janus has managed to become a tutor for my astronomy class, and—”

“I'll kill him.” Virgil interrupted, deadpan. “Do you want me to kill him? I can kill him.”

“No, I'm just… Logan’s been strange lately and I want to make sure Janus hasn't done anything to him.” Patton sighed, shaking his head to ignore Virgil’s comment.

“Yeah, of course.” Virgil agreed, putting down his tools and brushing his bangs out of his eyes. “I'll see him in the lab after my late class and I'll update you, okay?”

“Thanks so much.” Patton breathed out in relief, pulling up a chair and sitting in the lab with Virgil until he had to leave for whatever class he was going to that evening, even though he couldn’t quite shake a constantly growing bad feeling in his stomach.

——

When Virgil pushed open the door to the robotics lab, he was understandably confused when it was completely deserted—Logan and the other androids nowhere to be found.

“Um… okay.” He mumbled aloud, pulling a taser out of his backpack and gripping it tight as he stepped further into the lab to look around anxiously. “This can’t be good.”

He turned around a moment too late at the sound of footsteps behind him, a crushing grip grabbing onto his wrist and forcing him to drop his weapon with an angry shout.

“Hey, what the—!”

The taser didn’t land on the floor, instead falling into an open palm which immediately switched it on and jammed it into his side, all protests cut off as he fell to the floor—body frozen painfully from the assault. Before he could recover, he felt hands grabbing at his legs and dragging him across the light tiled floor towards the door, internally spitting out every curse he could think of to try and ease his panic.

Oh god, what’s going on now?

#college au #robot au #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides #logan sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #logicality #prinxiety #fanfiction #fanfic #cross posted on ao3 #writing #angst #hurt/comfort

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