#and now i open the app and it throws that bullshit at me

[tardis--dreams]

Duolingo has updated to the 'new' path system for me for good so i guess i can delete the app now

[dongfuck]

wi-fi - l.dh

pairing: neighbour!haechan x fem!reader

genre: fluff, smut, slight angst

warnings: masturbation, swearing, teasing, flirting, oral (m), fingering, cunnilingus, nipple play, LOTS of make out, kitchen sex, rimming, cum play, slight ass play, anal, slight riding

wc: 5.0k

note: NOT PROOFREAD!! this was rushed i’m sorry 😭😭 also, did you catch my perfume and cardan reference?

“Ugh! What is wrong with the wifi?!” You grunted in displeasure as jumped out of bed unwillingly and marched toward your living room to check on the router. Kneeling by the small white table you’d set up for it, you scanned the object thoroughly before noticing the small red blinking lights that were supposed to be green. “So what am I supposed to do?” You asked yourself. It wasn’t the first time this’s occurred. In fact, there were multiple days where you spent relying on your 2G data because the stupid wifi wouldn’t work. Sighing, you leaned your body slightly to the front and turn off the plug for ten seconds before switching it on again. You waited and waited for what seemed like weeks until finally the led lights on the router were back to normal, green.

Releasing a sound of what you’d call relief, you plopped yourself onto the sofa next to it and continued playing games on your phone. That was, until the wifi was down again. The sound you let out when you saw the loading screen on your phone was almost animalistic, somewhat satanic even. But you decided you weren’t having any of this bullshit anymore so what you did was open the settings app, clicked on ‘Wi-Fi’, before looking for available internet connections. Though to your dismay, all of them needed a password. Groaning, you glanced at the list of connections and recognised them to be your neighbours’s. Some you knew quite well and some not so. Deciding to try your luck, you clicked on a connection labeled, ‘ichaez’ before typing in all you know about her for the password.

Chaewon had been your neighbour ever since you first moved in here and you’re proud to say that you know her quite well. So you were disappointed when all your passwords attempts to ‘borrow’ her wifi led you nowhere. Clicking your tongue, you scrolled lower and saw Mark’s internet connection with the label ‘mark me in your heart’. You almost gagged at the label but your annoyance toward your own wifi overpowered that. You tried everything. Everything. Or at least, everything you know about him, but still didn’t manage to get though. Third time’s the charm, you thought as you scrolled even lower until something finally catches your attention. It was the internet connection of the neighbour to your left. You guys barely talked, but when you do, he seems almost charming. Seductive, even. And don’t get me wrong, I mean it in the best way possible.

He was kind, but also entrancing. He’d throw you flirty smiles or winks or waves whenever you two would pass each other on your way out. You’d catch yourself having to stop dead in your tracks for half a second before returning the same gesture and walking off. Shaking your head rid of the thought of him, you shakily clicked on his connection labeled, ‘ldhs’ before typing in the few things you know about him. It took you multiple tries and you were almost at the brink of giving up until your final attempt turned out to be correct. It was the brand of his perfume. Dyptique Orphéon. You knew this because there was this one time where the two of you were having a conversation at one of the monthly resident meetings and his perfume at that moment was so strong it felt intoxicating. And the one thing that you noticed about this was the way it triggered something unpleasant in you. That’s a story for another time though.

“Yes!” You squealed when you finally managed to crack the password. “I hope he doesn’t notice.” He probably won’t. But if he does, he wouldn’t mind… Right?

It’s been nearly a week now since you’ve started using Donghyuck’s wifi connection and so far, everything’s going smoothly. Donghyuck hasn’t realised and you haven’t got a problem with the internet connection yet. Don’t get me wrong, you only use his when yours was acting up, which is almost all the time but we don’t talk about that. You just got home from work and you’re now walking up to the elevator as you looked through your phone. You’d received an email from your boss about the presentation you’re working on and you couldn’t seem to take your eyes off the screen.

As you pressed the button to your floor half-heartedly, you didn’t notice the man that entered the elevator with you. Typing away on your phone, you heard a voice suddenly speak. “Y/n, right?” At the sound of your name, your gaze slowly lifted and made contact with the guy from across you. He was wearing a dark blue suit with his blazer slung across his forearm. You noticed the way his matching tie was loose, almost as if he had thrown a fit earlier. “Donghyuck?” You called back, with the same questioning tone. “It is you,” He smiled. “I haven’t seen you around in a while. How are things going?” The way he spoke sounded utterly genuine and kind that you couldn’t help but slowly melt into his gaze. With your own smile, you replied, “I mean, pretty fine I guess. Nothing’s changed that much.” You shrugged before your eyes drifted to the screen atop the automatic doors which displayed the floor you were currently in. Right now, you’re on level seven and you live on level fourteen so there’s still quite a long way to go.

“What floor are you again?”

With teasingly narrowed eyes, he looked at you oddly. “I live right next to you.” Donghyuck said. “Oh, right! That’s right…” You laughed awkwardly. Silence once again filled the space between you and you couldn’t help but wish the elevator would just go slightly faster. “Do you uh… Perhaps, wanna come over? To my place? Like later today? For dinner? Around eight maybe,” He gave you a hopeful look and you swore that you could feel the blood pumping in your veins. It’s not like it’s the first time he’s asking you over, instead, you think it’s the first time you might actually say yes. “I’ll come knocking on your door at a quarter past eight.” You smiled and almost as if on cue, the elevator dings and you’re heading straight to your door.

Sparing him one last glance, you watched as he further loosened his tie and unbuttoned a few of the top buttons of his white button-up before unlocking the door to his apartment, not forgetting to throw you a teasing smile on his way in. Once the door was fully shut, you let out a loud exhale of a breath you didn’t realise you were holding before entering your own home. Placing your laptop bag on one of the couches, you plopped yourself next to it before letting your mind wander. It was Donghyuck again. Only this time, he's topless. He was looking at you with hungry eyes as he carefully made his way to you. You could see yourself being frightened by the mere size of him compared to yourself. Unconsciously, your fingers started to tug at your panties before the feeling of pure bliss took over your body.

As the vision of Hyuck began becoming even more real as seconds go by, you find your fingers pleasuring yourself even further. Your movements were rapid and sloppy but it did help get you high enough that you feel like your floating. Suddenly, as if there wasn't any other time, your fingers immediately stilled as you looked back at your actions. There was no way in hell you just masturbated to the thought of your (sexy) neighbour. And to think that you almost orgasmed too. You shook your head instinctively before making your way to your bedroom and shutting the door behind you loudly. Glancing at the digital clock on your vanity, you figured that you should at least take a nap before getting ready for Donghyuck's place. Your beige-coloured coat was thrown onto the chair to your desk before you were lounging yourself onto your bed. "I should probably set an alarm." And so you did just that. The alarm on your phone was set to seven in the evening and with that you drifted off to sleep.

You weren't sure how it happened but it was definitely not seven when you woke up. The shock that entered your body when you woke up at exactly eight can't even be explained. Instantly, you rushed out of bed as you stripped your clothes off one by one on your way to the bathroom. You wouldn't want to appear at his place smelling like an overused dumpster. The only thing on your mind as you were showering were how in the hell were you supposed to be there in time? I mean, of course it is a half second walk to his place but there was no way your going to get ready in fifteen minutes. The soap that was smeared around your body probably wasn't even spread evenly but that was the least of your worries. The shower took you about ten minutes at minimum before you were drying your hair with a towel. You had no time for the dryer today. Looking through your clothes took longer that you'd hoped but you finally ended up wearing a simple white tee with a pair of shorts. You contemplated on going for a more formal attire and casual one but you chose comfortability over beauty. Besides, you're just having dinner at his place right?

The time that was displayed on the clock was a quarter to nine but you refused to look at it. Grabbing your phone from the nightstand, you checked yourself in the mirror one last time before letting out a breath and heading out the door. Though, the second you opened the door, you were face to face with the one and only Lee Donghyuck who had his right hand in the air, ready to knock on your door. Your gaze drifted to his choice of clothing for this evening and to your surprise, he was wearing the exact same thing you were, just with knee-length shorts. It seems that the realisation dawned upon the both of you at the same time when you suddenly broke into fit of laughter. "What are you doing here?" You questioned as you locked the door behind you and Donghyuck took a step back. "I got worried I guess... You weren't replying to my texts so I came over to check... Y'know, just in case.”

You couldn't help the smile that fought its way to your lips when you noticed his gaze looking everywhere but you. Deciding to change the topic, you said, "Dinner's still on?" to which he replied with a beaming, "Of course!". Exchanging genuine and shy smiles with each other, you nudged him on the shoulder playfully before walking towards his front door that was agape. "You do know its's dangerous leaving your front door wide open like this?" A left brow of yours was raised as you leaned against the frame. He seemed to be avoiding your statement when he answered with something totally irrelevant. "Do invite yourself in," Another smile. It's definitely one of the most charming smiles you've ever received. Doing exactly as he said, you walked in with awe visible on your face as you looked around his welcoming and tidy apartment. "Well aren't you neat?" You joked. "It's Donghyuck, what do you expect?" He walked past you to the dining table before filling your plates with dinner.

Taking a seat with your back to the door, you had to swallow a lump of saliva at the sight of the dish. "You made this?" You threw a glance at Donghyuck who was sitting by you. "Yeah. It's my mum's recipe. She taught me recently. Give it try." He gestured toward your plate and you gladly shoved a forkful of spaghetti into your awaiting mouth. It was as if the flavours were bursting into tiny fireworks in your mouth as you took your time savouring the taste of his cooking. "I'll have to tell you, you're an amazing cook." You nodded affirmatively as confirmation. "Dang, it's that good?" At that, you rolled your eyes teasingly and urged for him to try it himself. As he did, you watched as he had his eyes shut and head thrown back dramatically in ecstasy. You knew it was just him being his usual hubris self (not that you knew much about him) but you couldn't help but want to see more. Even more so when a soft moan left his pretty lips that you caught yourself biting on your own when you heard it.

As you were stuck in your own delusional mind, Donghyuck seemed to have caught up to your thoughts when he finished his dramatics. "There seems to be a whole lot on your mind now." He tilted his head with a teasing smirk playing on his lips. Snapping out of your trance, you looked at him with a puzzled look on your face. "What?" Your voice was small and confused. He looked like he was about to say something when you continued, "Why don't we just eat?" You stuffed your mouth full of food to avoid him from saying anything else, "Shit, this is amazing!" You nodded subconsciously. When you noticed his gaze was still on you, you swallowed your food whole before looking at him with hopeful eyes. "Please... Eat with me?" Suddenly, his amused laugh filled the room and you found yourself smiling silently as you watched him filling his mouth just like you did.

Dinner was finally over and your now sitting on his extremely comfortable nude-coloured sofa, chatting. "You can use my wifi if you'd like. I can enter the password for you." It was at that moment that you felt panic rush over you. You couldn't just tell him that you already have it and you've been using it for over a month now because you found out that his password was the name of of his favourite perfume. You just can't. But you told him anyway. 'Cause you're an idiot that is bad at lying. "Oh it's fine, I already have it." You laughed awkwardly before realisation dawned upon you. "Wait... What?" Donghyuck had this perplexed expression on his face and you almost felt guilty. Keyword, almost. You bit your lip gently and nodded slowly before looking toward the ground. ''Hold on... So you mean to tell me, that you know the password to my wifi? And I'm guessing you've been using it ever since?" His eyes were sharp, degrading even and all you wanted at that moment was for the ground to swallow you whole.

"Huh. So that's why my internet bills has been increasing a lot these days. How often do you even use the internet?" Standing up abruptly, you walked closer to him and stood slightly further from between his legs that were spread excessively wide. You noticed his eyebrows raising slightly as you took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes. "I'm sorry. It's just that my wifi has been acting up lately and it just so happens that I figured out your passwo-" He cut you off with a question of his own. "How would you know my password? Unless you've been smelling me, I'm you wouldn't've cracked it. Out of sudden you think you felt a wave of confidence crashing over you because your next words came out unconsciously. "Maybe I have been smelling you." Right then, he slowly got up from his seat before you were both eyeing each other up and down.

The mere size of him has you catching your breath but you knew better than to show any reaction. The both of you were so close to each other that you could smell his perfume with every inhale. And you’re not overreacting. His hand that was once by his side was now carefully making its way to you waist. “Have you now?” The way the words glided his tongue ever so smoothly makes you wanna take him right then and there but this is someone that you’ve barely talked to. And you don’t even know his favourite colour. The hand that began caressing your waist eventually started to tug you closer to him. “Hyuck…” You managed to let out a whisper at the feeling. “Hyuck?” A playful smile danced on his lips. Lifting your gaze you stared deeply into his eyes before tilting your head to the left slightly. “Is there a problem?” He scoffed at that. Probably out of amusement. “No, not at all. Call me whatever you want.”

“DongDongie?” You batted your eyelashes at him, feigning innocence. “Okay, maybe not that.” He was gripping your waist with both his hands now and you could feel him coming even closer than he already was. If that was even possible. That was it. You are not gonna sit still and look pretty. You’re coming for this guy. And just like that, your lips were all over him. Coating his cheeks, jawline, and neck with your kisses. The only feature missing was his lips. Those pink, fluffy lips. “Kiss me,” Donghyuck said between breaths. “And why should I?” You asked with a soft voice. “Please…” He rested his forehead to yours as your hips finally met. You could feel him through his confines and you swore you let out a tiny moan at the friction. So tiny that he could barely hear it. Without saying another word, you immediately attached your lips to his before moving in perfect synchronisation with each other.

Just as he was about to slide a tongue in, you pulled away. “Why..?” Donghyuck’s hands released your waist before it was cupping your cheeks gently. Softy caressing his forearm, you responded. “I just don’t feel like—”

“No,” He placed a wet kiss to your jaw before pulling back and continuing, “Kiss me again. Kiss me until I’m sick of it.” You couldn’t form words to respond to that so you simply ran your hand through his hair before connecting your lips once again. Donghyuck let out a groan few seconds after and the warmth it left on your lips has you wanting more. With your free hand, you reached down lower to his crotch as you once again ruffled through his hair. His hard-on felt almost like stone when you first palmed it. And at that moment, you wonder how hard he’d gotten and that if it really was because of you. You felt him spin you around before lowering you onto the couch slowly with your lips still attached.

Hurriedly, you released yourself from him and frantically pulled his white tee off his body, leaving him in his shorts. “What’s the rush? I’m not going anywhere.” Donghyuck laughed lowly. You didn’t answer him though. Instead, you placed butterfly kisses along his abdomen leading up to his happy trail. When you were right above the waistband of his shorts, you looked up at him with teasing eyes as you slowly pulled it down. “Fuck… You’re adorable.” Donghyuck caressed the top of your head lovingly before thrusting his hips into your hold desperately. “Please… Take these off too.” He gestured to his black boxers that seemed to be two sizes smaller. Giving him a small peck at the tip through his confines, you gently removed his boxers and left them pooled around his ankles.

The second they were off him, his hard cock immediately sprang out and managed hit the tip of your nose. You were surprised to say the least. You always knew he would be big but you didn’t expect him to be this big. There were a couple of his veins visible to you and you couldn’t fight the urge to give them a strong lick. A sigh could be heard from him as his head lolled back in bliss. But before you could enclose his dick with your mouth, he pulled your head back by your hair and looked at you with dark eyes. “It’s really not fair that you’re still fully clothed.” Donghyuck raised his brows suggestively. “Fine.” You answered simply. Taking a step further from you, Hyuck watched as you threw your shirt across the room and unbuttoned your shorts. “Happy?” He pretended to ponder a little before shaking his head side to side. “Not quite. You’re still clothed.” Gesturing to your bra and underwear, he smirked at you subtly as you flipped him off.

Complying, you unclipped your bra and removed your underwear before sitting back on the couch with your legs closed. You could feel the confidence draining out of you now that you’re completely naked in front of him. “That’s more like it.” Just as he said that his lips come crashing back onto yours, this time more aggressive and rough. His left hand that was once by your head was now stuffed between your legs, prying them open in a blink of an eye. The small gasp you let out when his fingers began rubbing your pussy up and down wasn’t loud enough to be heard throughout the apartment, but it was definitely loud enough to leave Donghyuck wanting more. Pulling away from your lips, he suckled on your right nipple as his digits teased your gaping hole. He was on his knees by now. The sight of his tongue flicking your nipple and his fingers playing with your clit has you almost reaching your high. But it was still so far away.

Finally after what seemed like hours of him just teasing you, he finally entered his fingers inside you in a smooth motion. The both of you moaned in sync at the feeling of your warmth engulfing him. Hyuck let his fingers sit there for a moment as he licked a striped down your pussy from your boobs before giving your clit a harsh suck. “Fuck! Hyuck!” Your hands found their way between his hair and you were now tugging and pulling at it roughly. It’s should’ve pained him but it seems to you that he’s enjoying it more than you were. His tongue moved in languid motions as his fingers finally found themselves to be working at a steady pace. Looking up from your heat, he watched you rolls your eyes to the back of your skull with your chest heaving up and down and your hand tugging him closer.

Your orgasm was reaching its peak and you couldn’t even register anything at the moment as your mind was filled with blurry visions and cloudy thoughts. “Fuck, Fuck, Fuck…” You chanted. “You close?” He said with a whispery voice and the vibration and warmth it left was the last thing you needed to once and for all let your high come crashing over you. A loud moan left your lips as you came in his mouth and on his fingers, hard. Once you’ve calmed down a little, you looked at Hyuck who was now towering over you with his fingers in his mouth, before saying, “I think I’m gonna cry.” It was starting to overwhelm you. With Donghyuck licking your release off his fingers and the sight of his increasingly hardening dick, you felt like crying.

He laughed again. Almost at you instead of because of you but you weren’t at your right mind at the moment to even think much of it. “Aww don’t cry, sweetie. Not until I tell you too.” His words had a different meaning to them but his expression was like sunshine. His beaming smile made you carve your own smile back before you threw your head back tiredly and sighed. You thought it was over. That you were just gonna bid your goodbyes and go home. But no. For him, you’re just getting started. It surprised you when you suddenly felt him lift you from the couch and headed towards the kitchen. “Hyuck? What are you—”

“I’ve always wanted to do this in here.” Said Donghyuck airily before he bent you over the kitchen island. His fingers drawing little circles on your back. “You look so pretty like this. With no way to escape from me.” His digits found your hole again before collecting your cum on his fingers and smearing them around your rim. The risk of him entering you there has your knees shaking from the thrill. “You like that? You want me there?” His face was right next to yours now and you just wanted to give him a big fat smooch but the only thing stopping you were his movements. “Answer me.” He tipped his fingers deeper inside you just before it reached where you wanted him to. “Yes, please… Please fuck me there.” Gripping the kitchen island harder, you jutted your hips out even more towards him just to feel his hard cock between your ass. You weren’t sure what you heard him mutter under his breath but it sounded a lot like, “Shit…”

He started to slowly move himself between the crook of your ass. His dick peaking out of the gap with each thrust. Donghyuck’s groans filled your ears as his movements began speeding up. Leaving small kisses to the top of your head, he nuzzled his face on your shoulder with small ragged breaths. “I need to fuck you.” He said in your ear, and before you got the chance to answer, he was already lubing up both his length and your rim. The stretch when he entered you was extremely painful and he wasn’t even halfway through yet. “Hyuck!” You laid yourself flat against the cold marble surface. as he slowly bottomed out inside you. You could see yourself almost passing out but his voice snapped you back to reality. “Can I move?” He asked softly with a rub to your ass. “Slowly.” You told him.

Doing just that, Donghyuck carefully pulled himself almost all the way out before thrusting. This went for a few seconds before the two of you couldn’t take it anymore and he was pounding into you ruthlessly. “Shit! Hyuck—” Your legs trembled and your hands were searching frantically for anything to grab on which ended up tugging on his locks once again. “Fuck baby— S-So tight…” His words were slurred but you heard him just fine. A few more thrusts and you were already approaching your orgasm. You figured Hyuck noticed this when he told you, “Just a little more, pretty.” with a dreamy tone. Nodding mindlessly against the kitchen island, you let your eyes close lightly as Hyuck continued pounding sloppily into you. You knew he was close so you wanted to wait for him. To release together.

“So close, so close…” He chanted from behind you and your eyes instantly flicked open when you felt extremely close to cumming. The kitchen that once smelled like vanilla and cake was now filled with the smell of sex and lewd sounds. “Cum with me, baby.” Said Donghyuck followed by strings of moans and groans. One last thrust was all it took for the both of your orgasms to come crashing down on you, leaving you breathless and tired. He emptied himself inside of you before pulling out and leaning against the kitchen island next to you. Your ass stung but the pain was washed away when you could the warm liquid trickling down your legs. Noticing this, Hyuck walked back to where he was before and kneeled between your legs to take a better look at his cum dripping from your lower hole.

It felt extremely long before he was collecting the liquid with tongue all the way up to your stinging rim and giving it a loving peck. Flipping you over, he gave you a long kiss on the lips, making you taste him between his lips. Moaning into the kiss, you unconsciously grabbed his dick and gave it a few teasing pumps before rubbing it between your folds. You had no clue as to why you were doing this but you just wanted to feel him inside you again. To feel him fill you up nicely just like before. The kiss didn’t stop there. Instead, it was even more heated than before. His tongue was reaching places in your mouth that you didn’t know were possible. Finally entering him inside you, you whined against his lips at the sensation. He filled you to the brim and so perfectly too.

Moving yourself up and down, you fucked yourself on him slowly and using your cum as lubrication. Having had enough, he lifted his thigh until you were sat on it before placing his hands on your hips and moving you himself. “You’re so big, Hyuck…” You pulled away from the kiss and let your head drop to his shoulder. His hold on you was painful and hard but you a whore for the pain. This time, your orgasm seemed to approach even more quickly and you figure that his is arriving too. “You’re gonna fucking empty my balls if we keep doing this.” He joked amusedly. “Wouldn’t that be a sight?—” And then it hit the two of you at the same time, mixing your cum together and leaving it dripping from where you’re connected.

Giving you a small peck on the lips, he attached his forehead to yours before the both of you laughed in sync. “Well someone’s gotta clean this mess, don’t you think?”

[silentglassbreak]

I usually don't so this, but since you posted it not so long ago, are the requests still open? And if so, can I ask for meeting Noah after a show, talking about fantasies and maybe some vampire role-playing? But also lots of fluff after because he's a good top. My name's Maggie and my most prominent features are that I am short, I wear glasses and I have dark curly hair.

Alrighty, let's just get right into this one, because there is truly no time to waste.

After Writing Notes: Baby, I am so sorry. I have no clue how we got here...but here we are? Once again, we went a lil off prompt, so I apologize if it wasn't exactly what you were looking for? I hope you enjoy regardless! Just a heads up, this is -BY FAR- the darkest one I've written so far.

Rating: Explicit AF

Warnings: smut, kink, blood play, roleplay, blood...blood...blood, horror themes, light BDSM (choking and biting)

Die For You

February 14th, 2024.

Valentine’s Day is the bane of my existence. I was so tired of the patrons, the demanding orders, and - mostly - the couples. It was vomit-inducing. Did my recent breakup contribute to the way I was feeling?

Sure. Probably.

Did it change the fact that I was in the foulest mood imaginable?

Not in the slightest.

I leaned my head against the brick wall of the building, my break slowly waning, signaling I was due to go back in and finish the last two hours of this God forsaken shift. Being a waitress had no perks. None.

Instead, it came with cons that I had to endure in order to pay my bills.

“Hanging in there, Maggie?”

I sighed and turned to the door, hearing Alexa’s breathless voice. She was certainly struggling in there without me.

“Yeah, just getting some air. I’ll be in there in less than five.”

She nodded and stepped out into the cool evening air. She pulled a cigarette from her pack, lighting it between her lips.

“Have you seen the announcement on Insta?”

I rolled my head to the side to glance at her. “What announcement?”

She smirked, pulling her phone from her back pocket and opening the app, handing it to me.

The poster was on the Black Veil Brides page. It was blood red, with bright white font.

BLOOD BATH

October 31st, 2024

Kia Forum

BRING ME THE HORIZON

FALLING IN REVERSE

BLACK VEIL BRIDES

BAD OMENS

ICE NINE KILLS

THE FIVE BIGGEST BANDS OF METAL

ONE NIGHT ONLY

TICKETS SELLING FAST

My brain almost didn’t register what I was seeing.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” My eyes were blown out as I looked up at Alex.

“Nope. Tickets are $850 a piece, I checked.”

I groaned, tossing my head back. “I could never afford that, let alone before it sells out.”

Alexa scoffed, sucking in the smoke of her cigarette. “You’re hilarious. I just wanted to make sure you’d want to go.” She snatched her phone back from me.

“What?” I quirked an eyebrow at her.

“I have two tickets.”

My heart fell into my stomach. “E-fucking-xcuse me?”

She cackled. “Who else would I take? I’ve got a savings for a reason, right?”

My jaw was hanging open. “Alex, that’s insane. That’s $1,700!”

“$1,896, actually. Including taxes and fees.”

“That’s insane!” I repeated.

“When are we ever going to get to see all of those bands at once? It’s obviously some kind of crazy event. Can you imagine the crossovers we’re going to see? The theatrics!” I couldn’t speak, I was too stunned. “Plus,” She dropped her spent smoke and stomped on it. “I figured you needed some cheering up today. I know Bad Omens is your favorite.”

I could not physically restrain myself any longer, throwing myself at her and wrapping my arms around her shoulders.

“You’re the best fucking human being alive, you know that?!” I peppered kisses on her cheeks, making her squirm.

“Yes, yes, I’m aware.” She wiped my smeared lip gloss off her face.

She stalked back to the door, pulling the handle. “Now let’s finish this bullshit, so we can go celebrate. You’re buying.”

October 31st, 2024

The line to get in was impossibly long, so Alex and I were sat on the ground, chatting about the songs we were excited to hear, and who we were most excited to see.

“Spencer is the actual love of my life, and I cannot wait to see his fucking face.” She gushed.

I smiled. “Oh, don’t I know. But Andy? Ugh, how fucking mouthwatering.”

The doors would open shortly, so we stood, and promptly filed our way in. The venue was huge. We both agreed we would not be drinking, figuring we had a long time to stand and would end up exhausted.

We opted to grab two water bottles from the bar and head to the GA floor. We were early, luckily, and managed to grab a spot up at the rails.

Waiting nearly an hour, the lights finally came down, and the crowd erupted. Alexa was absolutely feral, listening to the opening of Rainy Day playing. When Spencer bounded onstage, full suit attire, and blade in his hand, she nearly jumped the rails.

As he passed us near the stage, I noticed something. I tapped Alex’s arm and she leaned her head down to hear me.

“He’s wearing fangs!” I shouted. She glanced up and looked, seeing the same.

Her eyes rolled as she licked her bottom lip. “Fucking bite me, Daddy.” She groaned, and I bursted with laughter.

She was so unhinged.

Ice Nine Kills finished their set with Welcome to Horrorwood, sending blood red confetti into the air, before gracefully stepping off the stage. During the set I had noticed a few things that almost seemed…off?

First of all, it wasn’t just Spencer with fangs. It was the entire band. Being as close as we were, I could see the shiny white fangs exposed every so often when they’d open their mouths to sing. These weren’t cheap, Amazon pop-ins either. They were convincing. If I hadn’t known better, I’d have sworn that they were their actual teeth, filed down to sharp points. It was interesting.

As well, everyone in the band seemed to have a looming presence tonight. It was so difficult to explain, but it just as if they weren’t just looking at the crowd, but like they were searching it. Looking for something specific, with pointed stares and glaring smiles. It ran a chill up my spine when Spencer made direct eye contact with Alexa for a full minute while singing Hip To Be Scared. It was as if he was looking at a meal.

She ate it up, as expected.

The next set, however, was Bad Omens, and I could not have been more excited.

I had seen them twice before, and their Setlist didn’t stray much, so I was actually shocked when the usual Loading Screen didn’t show, and the opening to Artificial Suicide didn’t begin.

Instead, the opening song was Blood. That was so odd. I didn’t think they even performed this song. The crowd loved it, however.

They still started in all ski masks, and removed them for the next track - Like A Villain.

During the chorus, I was singing and swaying, giving my full attention, but stopped as soon as Noah moved close enough that I could see it.

He was also wearing fangs. My eyes darted to Jolly, who was easiest to see from where I stood. He licked his lips and, as I suspected, there they were - sharp and white.

Alexa seemed to also notice this, tapping me to lean in. “It’s called Blood Bath, so it must be a vampire themed show for Halloween.”

I nodded, because that seemed legitimate.

But still…

I expected that out of Ice Nine or Black Veil Brides. Hell, Oli Sykes actually had fangs.

But Bad Omens?

They weren’t as theatrical. I was surprised they had agreed.

However, I was pulled out of my thoughts when I felt eyes on me, and my attention was pulled back to the stage. A pair of deep, nearly black eyes were staring at me.

The song had changed, and we were on Nowhere To Go. And he was staring at me.

No, not at me. INTO me. Something in my soul felt exposed, as if I had shown up to this show nude.

I couldn’t break eye contact. I was caught between being starstruck, and immensely terrified. His lips were turned up in the slightest of smiles.

“Are you ready?”

I swallowed hard.

“I’m in the driver’s seat now.”

He finally broke his gaze, headbanging between screams.

Once I was released, I inhaled a sharp breath, turning my back to the stage. Alexa noticed as I crouched down, breathing hard.

“Babe?!” She bent down next to me. “Are you okay?”

I shook my head. “It’s too hot in this crowd, I’ve got to go.”

She got down to my eye level. “Maggie, you want to leave during Bad Omens?!”

I nodded feverishly, my dark curls sticking to my neck. Despite being sweaty, I had a cold chill climbing up my spine.

“I’m going to have a panic attack. I need a break.”

Maggie nodded, looking solemn. “Okay, let’s go.”

I stopped her, grabbing her arm. “No, you stay here. Save our spot. I’m going to go get some air, and I’ll be back.”

She raised her eyebrows. “You’re sure?”

I stood up, adjusting my shirt that had bunched up at my waist, and pulled my glasses on top of my head.

“Yeah, I’ll be back after their set.”

She sighed, but hugged me and told me to be careful.

I pressed my way through the crowd, not chancing another glance at the stage, despite feeling the eyes on my back.

-

The evening air was cool, in the fifty-degree range. I worried my sweatshirt with my fingers, feeling the air pull in and out of my lungs.

I had slipped out of the side entrance to the smoking area. I ducked under the ropes and to the back of the building to be alone. The tour buses were back in this area, but I paid it no attention, working hard at calming my nerves.

I had been out here for at least forty-five minutes. I could hear the music inside, and knew Bad Omens’ set had been over now for about five minutes. Figuring it was now a good time to make my way back to Alex, I pushed back into the building, seeing the crowd had not moved much.

I had tried to enter at several different points, but the bodies were condensed so tight, and unwilling to give up their spots. After fifteen minutes of trying, I growled and pulled my phone out, tapping Alexa’s name.

When she answered the phone, she shouted. “Hey! Where are you?”

“I can’t get back up there! No one is letting me through!”

She groaned. “Fuck! Okay, I’ll come out.”

“No! Don’t do that! Black Veil Brides is next! You cannot miss that!”

She went quiet for a second. “Maggie, I don’t want you to be alone.”

I stepped back outside so I could hear better. “I’ll be fine. I’ll watch the crowd to see if I can make it back in later.”

“You’re sure? Cause I will leave right fucking now. You know you’re more important.”

“Babe, you spent almost all of your savings on this. I’m not ruining it for you. I can see from back here.”

“Promise?”

I smiled. “I promise.”

Electing to stay outside a while, I sat on the curb behind the building, going through the photos and video I captured of Ice Nine Kills’ set. I managed to catch Spencer staring at Alex on camera, which I promptly sent her.

She responded quickly.

Alexa: OMFG HE’S IN LOVE WITH ME

I giggled, shaking my head at her response. Going back to my photo album, I sat watching the videos when I heard Black Veil Brides start.

Bleeders was the first song. Fitting.

Alexa: Dude…Andy’s wearing fangs too. It’s definitely a theme.

Me: Love it.

The music was so loud that I hadn’t heard the footsteps behind me.

“Excuse me?” Startled, I jumped up, turning around.

An impossibly tall, hooded man stood, hands in front of him, eyebrows raised.

It took me about three seconds to register who it was, and my mouth fell open.

“Are you okay?”

Noah fucking Sebastian.

I was caught between stunned, ecstatic, and horrified. He had such a soft look on his face. He looked immensely different than he did on stage. He wore black joggers with his own logo on them, a plain black hoodie, and a black baseball cap.

“Wh-“ My voice shorted, so I cleared my throat. “What?”

He smirked slightly. “Are you okay? I remember you from the crowd, and I saw you leave. I almost stopped the set when I saw you crouch down.”

I was floored. He noticed that? I knew he saw me, but Jesus Christ, I didn’t think he saw me?!

“Yeah, I, uh…” I stammered. “I just got really hot. The pyrotechnics and all.”

He nodded, chancing a step toward me. “You sure? You look pretty pale.”

Fantastic. Not only did I leave early during his performance - which he fucking saw - but I also looked fucking peaked at the same time.

I forced a calm smile. “Yeah, I’m good, promise.”

He seemed satisfied with that, putting his hands in his pockets. “Did I freak you out? When I stared at you?”

That was on purpose?!

I didn’t get a chance to answer. “I just perform better sometimes when I have something to focus on.”

I was bewildered, my eyebrows knitting together. “And that something was me?”

He smiled, a warm expression. “I guess so.”

“Why?” I couldn’t stop it from falling out of my mouth. Did it matter?

He shrugged his shoulders. “I liked your face.”

That’s a really strange answer.

“Okay?” I shifted one foot to another, not sure what to say or how to act.

“Why aren’t you watching the show?”

I sighed, moving back to the curb, deciding to sit back down. He made quick work of doing the same, sitting about a foot to my right.

“My best friend is up there. I couldn’t get back in to where she is. I tried.”

He nodded. “Ah.” His hands still in his pockets and knees bouncing rhythmically, he glanced around.

“Well, I’m going to watch from the balcony. Want to join?”

My heart rate sped up, screeching in my chest. His lip twitched at the same time, which was ironic.

“I,” My brain was misfiring, but I knew better. “I can’t.”

His eyes almost fell, his expression turning nearly…sad? “Oh?”

“I can’t leave Alex. I promised I’d make it back to her at some point.”

“You can bring her if you want.”

My mind was short circuiting. This couldn’t be fucking happening.

“I, uh, don’t know.” Something was too weird. This didn’t just happen. “I really shouldn’t.”

He nodded, pursing his lips. “No worries.” He stood up, stretching his arms over his head. “If you change your mind, I’m going up before Oli’s set. I’ll be around.”

With that, he turned around, and took a few steps. He spun back around and raised an eyebrow at me.

“I didn’t catch your name.”

“Maggie.”

He smiled. “See you later, Maggie.”

-

Me: I NEED TO FUCKING SPEAK TO YOU IMMEDIATELY.

Alexa: What level urgency? They’re playing In The End.

Me: B L A C K.

Alexa: OH FUCK IM ON MY WAY.

Alexa and I were regular show goers, so we had code we used.

Urgent situations were assigned a color.

Green: Good to go. Nothing to worry about.

Yellow: Shit’s getting weird. We need to keep eyes open.

Red: Urgent. Get to me ASAP. Serious situation.

Black: Get here now. Highest level priority.

Alexa came barreling out of the door and ran toward me, out of breath. “Are you okay? I got a knife in my boot that they didn’t take. I can stab someone!”

I grabbed her shoulders. “I’m fine!”

She stopped abruptly, narrowing her eyes. “What? Then why the urgency? I missed the end of the set!”

“I met Noah Sebastian.”

Her face deadpanned. “I beg your finest pardon?!”

I just nodded. “Out here. He remembered me from the crowd.”

“Are you fucking with me? Cause Maggie, I love you, but I’ll punch you right here, right now if you’re lying.”

“There’s no need for violence. She isn’t lying.”

Both of us snapped our necks to our left, the hooded figure stepping out from behind one of the buses. Noah came into view, hands still in his pockets.

“Nice to meet you, Alex.”

She visibly reeled, a shrill screech leaving her mouth.

“Holy fuck! It’s actually him!”

I giggled, glancing back at Noah, whose eyes were on me again. I straightened my spine, feeling that same fear sinking in from before.

“I was telling Maggie earlier that I planned to watch the rest of the show from the balcony with the guys. Wanted to invite you to join.”

Her mouth hung open, hand reaching for my arm and pulling me close. “We’d love to.” She answered for us.

I shot her a look. I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to do this. I still had the unnerved feeling that something wasn’t right.

She ignored my stare, smiling brightly at Noah.

He returned her grin with his own, which was oddly menacing. I noticed at that moment that he still had the fangs in.

“Awesome. Follow me.”

We did as we were told, following him into the back of the building, passing people who obviously were working on the show. We were far enough behind Noah that I pulled Alex in close, whispering to her.

“I feel weird about this, babe.”

She stared at me incredulously. “Why? Isn’t this your biggest fantasy?”

I rolled my eyes. “Of course it is, but it feels strange. Why us?”

She shrugged. “We manifested it? I don’t know. Shit like this happens all the time.”

I shook my head. “I don’t think it does.”

The balcony he lead us to was private. It was between sets, so the other members of the band were sat, relaxing, beers in hand. It was set up as a lounge, three couches lined up.

Noah graciously introduced us to the other band members, and we shook their hands feverishly, awestruck. It wasn’t lost on me that all of them still had the fangs in.

Alex had struck a conversation with Nick Folio, explaining how she played drums in high school. I sat slowly on the end couch, seeing the view of the stage that was incredible. The couch sunk next to me, and I glanced over to Noah, who was tapping a message into his phone.

“Aren’t those uncomfortable?”

He looked up at me, raising an eyebrow. “What?”

I pointed to my canines, and he snorted.

“Oh, right. Yeah, you get used to them.” He locked his phone and slipped it in his pocket.

I nodded. “You guys are dedicated to the theme, huh?”

He smiled, showing off the sharp points, and ran his tongue over one. “They’re not easy to take off.”

“Mm.” Must be glued on.

“Can I ask you something?”

He nodded, leaned back on the seat with his arm over the back.

“Do you do this all the time? Pick up random fans?”

He narrowed his eyes, grinning at me.

“Why do you ask?”

“Because it seems abnormal. What makes us so special?”

He sat up, leaning forward on his elbows so he was inches from my face, his breath cool. “What makes you think you’re just some random fan?”

I scoffed. “Because I am?” I leaned away from him, needing air. “I’m just a girl. Short. Glasses. Mop of hair. I didn’t even wear makeup tonight.”

He leaned back as well, keeping a distance between us. “So? Why does that mean you aren’t special?”

I rolled my eyes. “I think I’m not the first fan to be in a balcony with you.”

He nodded. “You’d be correct.” My heart sunk just slightly. “But you’re the first one I went looking for.”

My eyes popped open.

The fuck did that mean?

“Looking?”

He snickered, sighing loudly. “You got me. I thought you were attractive. Really attractive, okay? I figured I’d see if I could catch you.”

This caught me so far off guard, I nearly fell off of the couch.

“You think I’m attractive?”

This made him belly laugh, my disbelief.

“Maggie, can I let you in on a secret?” I just nodded. He leaned his head over, whispering. “I think you’re mouthwatering.”

A sharp tingle shot up my spine, and I wriggled next to him.

The lights went down, and the crowd cheered as Falling In Reverse began their set.

Popular Monster. This show was a trip.

We watched the show, Alex and I singing along to the lyrics of nearly every song. Every so often, Noah would lean over and tell me something about the song playing, complimenting Ronnie’s artistic ability or the instrumentals. The guys all seemed to be enjoying it as well, air-guitar and drumming. 

It was just far enough away that I couldn’t tell, so I leaned into Noah. “Is Ronnie wearing fangs too?”

He nodded, lips nearly touching my ear when he spoke. “It was Oli’s idea. We all have them.”

Made sense. I smiled at him, catching his eyes wandering my face. His arm was tucked neatly behind my back now, resting on my hip. Something about the encounter changed. I didn’t feel fear anymore, rather, Noah’s presence felt safe. It felt comfortable and I felt myself craving it. The air almost lightened, my shoulders relaxing as I exhaled a breath I had been holding.

“Can I tell you something?” I nodded, leaning back in to hear him. “I’d kiss you right now, if you’d let me.”

My eyebrows shot up. He pulled his face away, running his tongue over his bottom lip. A pit opened in my stomach, causing me to swallow harshly. 

“And what if I don’t?”

He smirked, his tattooed finger coming up to swipe across my bottom lip. “That, darling, would be a tragedy.”

It was involuntary, the way my body pressed closer to him, the soft skin of his lips brushing against mine. It wasn’t quite what we wanted, but it was so close.

My self control was fading, and he knew it, his hand tightening on my hip.

“If you’d let me?”

That was it. My lips were pressed against his, molding to his mouth, and breathing into his soul. I felt the sharp tooth scrape over my skin, which elicited a hard groan from me. His other hand came up to the side of my neck, and his fingers tangled in my curls.

We lasted this way for several minutes, finally pulling away with a sharp hiss from his mouth. His eyes were feral, wild. His grip on my hair was tight. He bored into my eyes, speaking something that I couldn’t read.

We were pulled from our moment when a hand tapped my shoulder. I whipped around quickly, and his hands released me.

Alex stood, eyes wide, and smiling. “I hate to interrupt, but I’m going to run to the restroom. Just wanted you to know.”

I wiped my lips with my thumb, feeling a sharp pain. I nodded at Alex, who furrowed her brows, bending down to speak directly at me.

“Watch the fangs, babe. You’re bleeding.”

I looked down at my thumb, the deep red filling the ridges of my print.

A hand came up to wrap around my wrist, staring at my finger. He swiftly and smoothly lifted it to his lips, sucking it into his mouth. When he released me, my finger was clean.

He smiled a sheepish grin at me in response to my shocked expression. “Too weird?”

I wanted to say yes, because that was the normal person thing to say. However, given the heat that had pooled in my stomach and the way my thighs clenched together, I just shook my head.

The music was loud, booming into my chest, and I leaned back onto the couch, staring at Noah.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked me.

“That there’s no way this is real.”

He smirked. “Sometimes, it’s better to believe it’s not.”

This confused me, but he was wrapping his arm around me again, pulling me into his side, and looking down at the stage. We tried to watch the performance, we really did. But within minutes, I was in his lap, straddling his hips, and our tongues were fighting for dominance while his hands roamed up and down my legs.

I sighed, closing my eyes as his lips trailed down my jaw to my neck, nipping gently at my pulse point. He licked a stripe up my windpipe, causing me to rut against him.

“Fucking hell, Maggie.” He leaned back, and I pulled back, hands on his shoulders. “You’re so fucking amazing.” 

I blushed, leaning back down to nibble on his ear. In my peripheral vision, I caught my phone on the couch lighting up. I had four missed texts from Alex.

“Shit!” I grabbed my phone and sat back on his legs.

“Everything okay?”

I shrugged. “Alexa isn’t back, and I haven’t checked my messages. I got distracted.” I said, eyeing him mischievously.

He responded by scratching his nails down the front of my leggings.

Alexa: BABE Spencer is out here talking to Andy!!!!

Alexa: OMFG he’s looking at me. I’m going to talk to him.

Alexa: HE REMEMBERS ME FROM THE CROWD.

Alexa: He asked me to go to his balcony. I have to. It’s the one next to Noah’s. I’ll be there if you need me.

I smiled at my phone. “Such a weird night.”

“Is she okay?”

I nodded, setting my phone back down. “Yeah, uh,” I shook my head, trying to understand how this had happened. “She met Spencer Charnas, and she’s in his balcony.”

He nodded, looking apprehensive. “She’s a fan of his?”

“The biggest. She’d die for that man.”

His eye twitched at that, almost a wince. “Mm. Maybe she should stick with you?”

My face fell, confused. “Why?”

He bit his lip, glancing over to where Folio sat, who was staring directly at him. “I don’t know. Just seemed like the kind of thing you guys do.”

I nodded, falling off of his lap. “Usually, but this is kind of once in a lifetime.”

He sighed hard, his eyes glancing back up to Folio. “I wish it wasn’t.”

This was confusing, his entire demeanor had shifted.

“Are you okay?”

He worried his bottom lip with the fangs, and nodded. “You, uh,” He looked at his bandmates, who were all giving him a look. “want to see the bus? I need to get something, but I don’t want to leave you alone.”

There was something under his tone that made me almost flinch. It was as if he wasn’t giving me a choice…

“Okay? I mean, or I could wait with Alex in the next balcony?”

“No!” Noah’s voice was harsh, causing me to wince. “I mean, let her have her time. Once in a lifetime, right?”

I nodded, unsure.

“You trust me?”

I sighed, suddenly wildly unsure. “Should I?”

He nodded fervently. “Yes. You should.”

-

The tour bus was enormous. It was also a total mess. It was as if it was more lived in than an actual home. I try not to judge, but there was stuff everywhere. Drink containers, beer bottles, random garbage, clothes. The shades were drawn, and you couldn’t see outside. 

Noah turned around with a look of embarrassment on his face, a hard contrast to the persona he had on all night. He scratched the back of his neck nervously.

“Sorry, the guys said they’d clean up…I guess they forgot.”

I shook my head, giving him a warm smile. “No worries. You guys have to live here, I get it.”

He sighed. “Can I be honest?”

“I’d hope so.” I giggled, hands in my sweater pockets.

“I didn’t need to grab anything, I was just hoping for some privacy.”

My eyes widened, and I almost couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“Oh…” Suddenly uncomfortable, I began scanning the bus for all of the exits, the closest being the door behind me.

“You don’t have to stay, it was just stuffy in there and the guys are kind of really fucking nosey.”

This made me smile. “I caught that.” I pursed my lips, looking around, trying to soothe the hammering in my chest. “I could stay.”

“You sure? Oli is going to go on soon.”

I nodded. “Once in a lifetime?”

This almost made his face fall, and he leaned against the counter of the kitchenette sink. “I wish it wasn’t.”

This gave me pause, and I moved to stand next to him.

“What do you mean?”

He pulled his hat off, revealing his mop of long dark hair that was overgrown. “I just…” He trailed off. “I don’t get to have normal relationships, yaknow? Date? See people more than once? It doesn’t really happen.”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “Why not?”

He smirked at this, looking down at his shoes. “My lifestyle doesn’t really allow it.”

I nodded. Rockstar life had to be tough.

“Well, just because you can’t date someone, doesn’t mean you can’t be friends, right?” I won’t lie, I was slightly hopeful.

“It’s kind of more complicated than that.” 

I nodded, not wanting to press further, and an uneasy silence fell over us. After about three minutes, he finally spoke.

“I liked kissing you.”

I couldn’t prevent the grin that cracked on my lips. “I liked kissing you too.”

“I didn’t bring you back here for that. I just thought I’d mention it.”

This was one of the pivotal moments in life where you decide how it goes. Walk away? See what this is, and make the smart choice to end it? 

Or consider this the Gods giving you a gift? A one-time chance to fulfill a fantasy you would otherwise never get again?

I decided quickly that life was too fucking short, and moved to stand in front of him.

“Can we…just do what we want? Because this will never happen for me again, and I find it painfully difficult not to jump on you right now.”

He peered up at me through his lashes, his eyes pitch black. “Yeah? You’re sure? I don’t want to be a dick, but you know I can’t continue anything after tonight.”

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes for a second, and opened them with no hesitation left, staring directly at him. 

This gave him the answer he was looking for, as it took less than a fraction of a second for him to have me pinned against the wall behind me, hand on my throat, lips attacking my mouth feverishly. A smooth growl rumbled from his throat, and something inside of me clenched. 

With the grip in my neck, he guided me to spin, lifting me up onto the countertop. My legs wrapped around him instinctively, and I breathed into him, feeling his hands smooth up my legs, and push them apart so he could press himself between them.

His mouth pulled at the skin of my jaw, surely leaving bruises I’d have to explain to Alex later. When I felt the sharp point of the fans against my skin, I placed a hand on his chest.

“Noah?” He didn’t pull back, but only hummed in response as he licked and sucked on my collarbone. “Maybe you should take the fangs out?”

He stilled, frozen. This caused me to do the same, waiting for his next move.

“I can’t.”

My brain didn’t register that. “Can’t?”

“They aren’t coming out.” He breathed again on my skin, making me shiver. “Is that a problem? If it is, tell me now.”

The idea of not going further made my body physically scream, so I just shook my head, signaling for him not to stop.

His arms, strong and solid, lifted me clean off of the counter and pulled me into the hallway, our lips reconnecting. In the back of the bus held a large bedroom area, and with one hand, he slid a door shut behind us. 

He lowered me onto the mattress and became so gentle, I almost couldn’t handle it. His hands reached to unzip my sweatshirt, pulling it open to reveal my crop top. I chose to go without a bra tonight, knowing I’d be keeping my sweater on. His eyes roamed to my hardened nipples pressing against the fabric, and he bit his lip in response.

“If at any point you want to stop, tell me, okay?”

I nodded.

“Say it. Say you understand.” His voice was callous, no playfulness left.

“I understand.”

This brought a wicked smile to his face, fangs pressing out and his tongue gliding over them. “Good girl.”

He was ruthless, his hands pulling my shirt up, exposing my bare breasts, hands grasping them with force, pinching each nipple between his fingers. I yelped at the sudden painful sensation, but pressed into his touch. His knee balanced him on the bed, pressing against my core. I writhed under him, begging for friction.

“So fucking needy, darling. All in good time.”

I sucked in a breath, nearly whining at his teasing. His right hand snaked up my chest, grasping at my throat. The pressure was so much, but I couldn’t ask him to stop because it was so good, I was okay with dying right here like this.

His other hand slid down my stomach, nails scratching into my flesh, before he gripped the waistband of my leggings and tugged them down.

“Tell me how bad you want it, baby.” His fingers loosened just enough for me to speak.

“So bad. Need it. Need you.”

His eyes were roaming my body, eyes settling on the jet black panties I wore. His hand pressed flat against the fabric, making me hiss at the sensation.

“You want me to eat you? Devour you?”

I nodded frantically.

“If I do, I’m going to bite you. You alright with that?”

I froze, staring up at him, tears running down the side of my face. 

“You can say no.” His voice was smooth as honey, dripping down his lips and right into my soul.

“Please.” It came out as a breath, just the ghost of a word.

A harsh snarl left his lips, and he dropped onto the floor with lightening speed, pulling my leggings off and gripping the waistband of my underwear, ripping them apart to show my already soaked pussy.

His fingers slid through my lips before coming up to his mouth, his eyes rolling back at the taste. “Fucking stunning.” He groaned.

His mouth attacked me, licking long, flat stripes up my core, causing my hips to buck. I whimpered, trying not to make too much noise.

His hands gripped my thighs and pulled me closer to the edge of the bed, bringing me right to his face.

“No one can hear us here, baby. Fucking scream for me.” 

I let go, letting all of the harsh, vile sounds leave my throat with no restraint. His mouth sucked hard on my clit, making my vision go stark white behind my eyelids.

“Oh my God, Noah, I’m going to come, please don’t stop.”

He latched harder, a finger penetrating into me, pressing against my sweet spot and smoothing circles into it, bringing me crashing over the edge of bliss. My back lifted off of the mattress, my entire body tingling.

At the exact second my orgasm slammed into me, I felt a stinging, slicing pain on the inside of my thigh, causing me to scream out and look down. Noah’s face was still buried between my legs, but his eyes were staring directly at me. His fingers continued to massage me through my euphoria while his lips pulled at the sore spot on my thigh. When he lifted his face, my body finally calming, a deep crimson fluid sat on his lip before his tongue came up and swiped it away. 

He rested a palm flat on my stomach as my breathing slowed. “Are you okay?”

I blinked back the tears and gasped in a breath. “More, please. I need more.”

It wasn’t even me speaking anymore. My body had transcended to another plane and I was watching from a different dimension at that point.

He smiled, his teeth tinged with blood - my blood. “What’s the magic word?”

“Jesus, fuck, Noah! Please!”

His hand snatched me by my waist, flipping me over and pulling me back up so my feet were on the floor. His arm held me up, as standing wasn’t an option with the way my legs felt like gelatin. I felt the warm fluid from the wound on my thigh dripping down my leg.

He paused, reaching for a drawer and grabbing, what I assumed to be, a condom. I heard the foil open and be discarded. He let go of me for ten seconds to put it on, and before I could think about anything else, he was pushing inside of me. The feeling was achingly delicious, the stretch and burn of it. Noah was exceptional. My body fell forward, hands reaching out balance. He thrusted mercilessly, pounding me harder into the mattress, his breathing loud and deep, guttural moans escaping him.

After a few moments, and my vision slowly blurring as I began climbing the hill once again, his hand wrapped around my neck and pulled me backward to stand straight up. I whined, leaning my head back on his chest.

It was without cause, but I still asked. “Bite me again? Please?”

I didn’t want it, I needed it. I was ravenous for the pain and the feeling of him being so connected with me. 

“Don’t say that.” His words were breathless, but I was persistent.

“Please, Noah. Please.”

“God damn it.” He tightened his grip on my neck and I felt his lips touch my skin before the fangs sung in deep, piercing the thin skin just above my clavicle.

A scream pierced through me as the pain sent white hot shock waves through my body, my vision cutting out and my orgasm tearing through me. I vibrated at the stimulation of it all, and began to feel by body going slack, my skin tingling with a numbing sensation. My eyelids began to feel heavy, Noah's lips still latched to my skin. I could swear I felt a sucking feeling. That would be one hell of a hickey later.

Noah's thrusts suddenly stilled, his throat growling against me, his fingers gripping my hip violently, surely leaving bruises.

I was still riding the high of my climax when I felt everything starting to go sideways as the room began to spin. His arm wrapped around me quickly as I felt my consciousness slipping.

"Easy, baby. Easy." I hadn't even noticed him slip out of me, or unlatch from my throat.

Suddenly, his hands were gentle, laying me down on the bed on my back. Through my hooded lids, I could see him standing, tall and muscular. I could see all of him, and as badly as I wanted to savor it, I was so sleepy.

His hands pulled a soft, red blanket over me, and he put a finger up. "One second, stay here."

He disappeared out of the door, and I felt my eyes threatening to close. My brain was shutting off quickly, and it wasn't going to be optional anymore.

He came back within a minute, now wearing shorts, with a large blue Powerade, and a pack of Reese's in his hands. He set them down on the mattress next to me and slid his arms under me, lifting me up onto the pillows of the bed.

"Maggie, you still with me?"

I could only mumble in response, the pull of sleep tugging me down.

"Don't fall asleep. You need to drink this." He opened the Powerade. My hand came up to take the drink, but my fingers had very little sensation. "Here." Noah used one arm to lift me partway, and held the bottle to my lips. "Just take sips."

Once I had sufficiently drank a quarter of the bottle, suddenly feeling parched, he recapped it and began tearing open the Reese's. "Eat this, you need to increase your blood sugar and carbohydrates."

Feeling slightly more coherent, I cocked an eyebrow at him. "Why? Did that orgasm almost kill me?" I snickered, taking a peanut butter cup and peeling the wrap off the bottom.

"No, the orgasm didn't." He said pointedly, but made work of getting up and heading for the door again. I laid, slowly munching the chocolate, eyes trailing after him. I pulled the blanket up to my chin, feeling strikingly cold suddenly. I felt a numbness in my toes and fingertips. Something about it bothered me, but also didn't?

He walked back in, a damp rag in his hand. What did he need that for? He used a condom, I thought?

Noah sat next to me on the bed, and ran a hand over my cheek gently, giving me a small, comforting smile. "You feel better?"

I nodded, still chewing the second peanut butter cup. "Much."

His smile crinkled the corners of his eyes. "Good, I'm glad."

Smoothing his hand over to my hair, he pulled it away from my neck, and pressed the damp rag to it. I winced, pain shooting up into my face.

"Christ!" He pulled his hand back, and I noticed the rag was a deep red. "Am I bleeding?"

He shushed me, moving my face back over. "Not much anymore, it's mostly stopped. This is just a little alcohol to sterilize it." He sighed as he pressed the rag to my skin. "Next, I'll clean up your leg."

My mind, suddenly clear as day, began running through all of the most ridiculous scenarios possible. Regardless of how stupid it sounded, I still had to ask...

"Noah?"

"Hmm?" He raised an eyebrow, pulling out a large bandage and unpeeling it from the paper.

"Are you an actual vampire?"

His hands stopped, and his neck snapped up at me. His eyes were deadly serious, but his lips twisted in a sick smile. "Now, why would you say something silly like that? Of course not."

"But-"

He chuckled, his body shaking, and continued applying the bandage to my neck, hand lingering on my cheek as he looked in my eyes.

"No, I'm just a guy with kinks, that's all."

Did I want to press this further?

I looked back up at him, and he smiled brightly. That's when I noticed.

"You took the fangs off."

He peered up at me, running his tongue over his teeth. "Yeah, something like that."

Noah began pulling the blanket from my leg when he stopped abruptly, his eyes shifting to the door of the room. His hand gripped my leg, and he spoke under his breath.

"Fuck." His eyes looked back at me, a panic now rising. "You have to go. Now."

He grabbed my arm, and began pulling me off of the bed gently. "Can you stand?" I heard the door of the bus open, and people speaking at the front.

The urgency in his voice was frightening, so I swung my legs over and attempted to stand. The room swayed slightly, but I managed to stay upright. I nodded at him.

"Good, okay," He stood off the bed, and ran to the other side, picking my clothes up and tossing them at me, sans my torn panties. "get dressed. I'm going to open the window, there's a ladder just outside. Climb down it and go. Fast. Go to your car, and leave."

I was stepping into my leggings and looked up at him. "I have to find Alex, first."

He huffed, frustrated, and helped me put my shirt over my head. "Don't. Just go."

Noah pulled the window open silently, and pulled me over to him once I had zipped up my sweatshirt and slipped my shoes on. "Noah, what-"

He pressed a hand to my mouth. "Please, just listen to me. Leave. Don't look for her. Just go. Fast, okay?"

My eyes welled up. The terror was back. Why was he hiding me? Was he embarrassed? Did he not want anyone to know I was here? Why didn't he want me to look for Alex?

He hands hoisted me up effortlessly, he didn't even groan when he lifted me to the window. I slipped a leg out, and turned my head to him. "Noah?"

He looked at me, eyes sparkling bright, brighter than I had seen. "Yes?"

"I hope to see you again."

The smallest smile turned his lips up. "If you're lucky, you won't."

-

Alex's phone wasn't picking up and she hadn't responded to any of my messages. Bring Me The Horizon's set was about over, and she was nowhere. Ice Nine's balcony was empty - they all were. She wasn't in the venue. She wasn't outside. She was gone.

Her last text to me had me walking behind the building, looking through the busses.

Alexa: Spencer invited me back to his bus with him and Ronnie...I can't believe this is real life!! I will text you when I'm done! ;)

I only knew which bus was Noah's, but I felt like an absolute creep looking through the others, trying to see into the windows. I was standing next to one, on my tip-toes, trying to see through the tint, when my ears picked up on something...

It sounded suspiciously like screaming...but not the kind I would expect from someone having a good time. Not the kind I just made.

I rounded the corner, finding one last bus, and noticed it appeared to be moving. This had to be it. As I approached, figuring I would just wait until she was done, it stilled, and the night went eerily silent. Something about it made my stomach drop. I considered going back and getting Noah, asking him to check it out, but I had already come to terms with the fact that whatever that was, was over.

Instead, I made a soft wrap on the door, hoping someone would answer. Nothing came, no sound or motion. I sighed. Someone was definitely in there. Maybe they fell asleep? I almost did.

I knocked harder with the same result. Eventually, I pounded, hollering. "Hello?"

My fingers reached for the handle, and I noticed the door was unlocked, the door opening easily. I looked in, and noticed it was dark, only a neon blue light emanating from the back somewhere. I stepped up the staircase, peering my head around the corner.

"Alex?"

What my eyes saw, I was nowhere near prepared for. My eyes met hers, only hers were upside down, head hanging off of the edge of the bed, tears running down the sides of her face. They were also lifeless, and so was she. She was laid on the bed, fully dressed, and blood poured from her throat and pooled on the floor. There were two men on top of her, mouths latched to her chest and throat.

I couldn't help the gasp that came out, my eyes watering at the scene. I brought my hand up over my mouth and both men looked up at me. I couldn't register what I was seeing...

Spencer Charnas and Ronnie Radke were on top of my best friend, and their faces were absolutely covered in her blood.

Their fangs shined, covered in the red viscous liquid, and harsh growling hisses came out of their mouths.

Before I could scream, a hand had grabbed the back of my sweatshirt and pulled me down the stairs, and was dragging me away from the bus. I thrashed, screaming and fighting against the person pulling me away.

"No! No! Please! Stop, please!!" A hand came up over my mouth.

"Shut up!" My eyes looked down, and through my bleary tears, I saw the tattoos. The familiar tattoos.

Noah pulled me over to another bus and pressed me against the side. He loomed over me, his eyes dark again, all of the light gone.

"I told you to fucking leave!"

I couldn't speak. I was stunned. "I...they...Alex..."

"Alex is gone." He was so matter of fact. Stern, even. A choked sob broke out of my chest.

"No, no please, you have to help me."

"I am helping you! You have to leave! Before anyone realizes you did." His hands were against the bus on either side of me. "Please Maggie, please just leave."

"Noah..." I stared at the sharp fangs. "Your teeth..."

He hung his head. "Maggie, listen to me. You were never here. You lost Alex at the concert, and she went missing. They already reported her missing to security." My eyes went wide, tears streaming. "Now, go home. Stay there. And never speak about this again. Understood?"

I didn't respond, I just glared at him. He was one of them. A monster. He drank my blood. He tried to kill me. Him and his friends...they killed Alex.

When I didn't answer, he grew impatient, slamming his hands against the bus, making me flinch.

"God damn it Maggie, do you understand?!"

I just nodded, and he let one of his arms fall. I slipped by him, but his hand caught my arm. I stopped, staring up at him.

"I'm so sorry." His eyes were soft again, but I ripped my arm from him. He looked taken back by my sudden brazenness.

"No you're not..." I took several steps forward, but I took a deep breath and stopped, turning to see him still staring at me.

"But you fucking will be."

[mediocre-writerr]

love quinn x fem!reader where reader celebrates valentine’s day with love like she baked and prepared dinner just like love had taught her before and reader paid attention to make this day special for her. everything is a surprise btw but as we know love she was starting to freak out a bit thinking reader is being distant and secretive but all turned out well. anyways lots of fluff 💖

-🎈

banana pancakes [love quinn]

love quinn x fem!reader

warnings: a few curse words

mediocre author's note: hey guys! happy belated valentine's day, hope it was full of love in all different forms. love you guys!

Your location was off…why was your location off? Your location was never off. Love swiped out the app, only to re enter it seconds later. It had to be some kind of tech issue right? Your location wasn’t actually off…right? Wrong. Sure enough your location was still off. 

Love let out a huff, as she shut off her phone, throwing it onto the metal counter in the kitchen of Anavrin. The brunette closed her eyes, resting her head on the cool metal door of the fridge, as she took deep breaths. ‘I trust her’ she repeats to herself over and over in her head, like a troubled school child writing ‘I’m sorry’ on their paper repeatedly. It was odd to her. It was Valentine’s Day, the day of love, and you were completely ignoring her. Only sending a ‘Happy Valentine’s Day’ text to start off her morning. 

Everything seemed fine then, so what changed? 

You were stressed, like really stressed. It was your first actual Valentine’s Day with someone you truly love. You wanted to make something perfect for the first time. The only problem? You can’t cook to save your life, despite Love teaching you her favorite recipes. 

“Oh for fucks sake!” You yell, opening your apartment door to let all the smoke out of your house before you set off the fire alarm. You take a deep breath, resting your head against the cool metal rail, as you try to get your shit together. This needs to be perfect. Everything needs to be perfect. 

Your head snaps up, as someone’s voice calls your attention. “Hey Gordon Ramsey, I see cooking is going super well for you. A solid five Michelin Stars!” your sometimes favorite 15 year old teases from right next to you. 

“Not now, Ellie. I keep fucking up the recipe and Love gets off work in like 3 hours and nothing is ready,” you vent to the brunette, as you begin to pace the small pathway between apartments. 

She rolls her eyes at you, “Dude, chill out. You’re stressing out about this way too much.”

“I’m sorry, I just want everything to be perfect.”

“And that’s the problem,” she shows herself into your apartment. 

You scoff, rolling your eyes, “Sure Ellie, you can come in,” you say before mocking her voice. “Oh gee thanks Y/N. You’re the best.” 

You follow in after her, a fearful expression on her face as she looks at the steak you attempted to cook. The entire piece burnt to a crisp, she cuts into it, nibbling a tiny piece out of the corner. Her mouth immediately opens, dropping the tiny piece onto the dirty counter. “I didn’t think anyone could be this bad at cooking,” she admits, grabbing a glass of water to wash down the taste. “Like, I actually think you used sugar to season the steak and not salt.”

“Ellie, if you’re just gonna sit here and tell me how shit I am, you can just leave. I already know all of that,” you swing the front door open, gesturing for her to leave.

“Oh stop that ‘poor me’ bullshit,” she tells you, causing your eyebrows to furrow at her sudden tone. “This is why nothing is working out. You’re trying to be perfect. It doesn’t have to be perfect. For some odd reason that I don’t understand, Love is madly in love with you, and no amount of shit steak can change that. So shut the fuck up and just stop trying so hard!” 

Then it all clicks in your head. One of your first dates, she mentioned the simplicity, yet perfect bite of roasted chicken. Nothing too extravagant or special, but a dish that is strong with flavor, yet still feels like it's made by someone who cares. You snap your fingers together, “That’s it, Ellie! You’re a genius! C’mon, we gotta stop at the store!” 

“We?” 

You smile at her, a cockiness written all over it, “Yes we, you just got hired to be my sous chef,” you grabbed your keys, immediately ushering her out of the apartment, and to your car. 

“Oh fuck me,” she mumbled. 

Cooking for Love was supposed to be therapeutic, a way to ease her mind. Unfortunately, for the vegetables she’s cutting right now, it means that they’re receiving a brutal chop. Especially since you left her text message on read, asking what your plans were for tonight. 

A low whistle fills the kitchen as Forty walks in, eyeing his twin, “What did those poor poor celeries do to you?” She shot him a glare without another response, causing him to nod, “Don’t want to talk about it, got it. Let’s talk about something else then. What did Y/N get you for Valentine’s Day? I know she’s got her gift-giving science down to perfection. I told her multiple times to start a business doing that, I’d invest in it, she would make some serious money! I mean can you imagine all the lousy excuses for husbands going to her to buy a gift for their-” 

Forty was abruptly cut off when Love’s knife slammed down onto the metal counter. His eyes wide as he stared at his fuming sister, “It’s 8, I’m off now. I’ll see you later,” she responded in a monotone voice, storming out towards her car with one destination in mind. Your apartment. Whether you were home or not, she’ll let herself in and wait for her, so you could explain yourself to her. 

“God, I hate that you dragged me into this,” Ellie speaks up, through the soft music playing from your speaker. She wiped down the counter, as you set the table with cheesy decorations. 

You shrugged, smirking at her, “If I remember correctly, you butt in yourself. I think it was something about a five Michelin Star rating?” 

She was about to retort when your front door burst open and a seething Love stepped foot into your apartment. You and Ellie stood there wide eyed, not quite sure what happened to make the sometimes intimidating brunette mad. The two of you were bracing yourself for the burst of anger, but it never came. The girl’s frown slowly turned upward into a soft smile. 

“Surprise?” You said, smiling sheepishly at her. You interlock your fingers together, guiding her to her seat at the table. “I made some roasted chicken, and I know you could tell a lot about a chef by their roasted chicken. I just want to say, my roasted chicken will probably tell you I’m a shit chef. But uh, I tried to follow it exactly like you make it, with the potatoes and carrots and reduction, whatever that is. You’ve made it a few times, so I tried to copy from memory.”

Love smiled softly, as you pulled out her chair. “I was trying to make everything perfect, you know? I mean I even turned off my location to go to your favorite donut shop, but they were sold within like ten minutes of opening, and as soon as I got to the front of the line they were closing. So, that threw out the idea of surprising you at work. I almost set fire to my apartment a few times. But I think it turned out okay,” you drift over towards the kitchen, nervously rambling, as you pull out a small little plate of banana pancakes. “I know these aren’t super fancy pastries that you usually bake, but I remember you telling me that you and Forty would make these all the time when your mom was on this no sugar kick. You said it used to be your favorite breakfast and dessert when your were younger, so-” 

You’re immediately cut off when Love grabs the hem of your shirt, attaching her lips deeply onto yours. Your hands fly to the back of her neck, fingers lacing into her hair.

“I’m gonna throw up,” Ellie says, blowing her cheeks up to mock the vomit. The two of you back away from each other, chuckling. 

You let go of Love, walking over towards the kitchen to find a few small plastic containers. You start packing some food into the containers, before handing it to Ellie, “Thank you my sous chef. It was lovely working with you,” you chuckle as she rolls her eyes, trying to fight off a small smile on her face. “I packed enough for both you and Deliliah. Thank you again, really.” 

“Yeah, yeah, don’t get all sappy on me, Chef Ramsey,” she takes the containers from you gratefully, as she bids a goodnight to Love. 

“I love you Ellie!” You exclaim before she leaves. She raises her middle finger towards you without another response. You turn back to Love with a wide smile, “That means she loves me.”

Love chuckles, shaking her head, at your goofy antics with the young girl. “Sure it does,” a fake pout crosses your face as you stand in front of her with your arms crossed. Her hands find your waist pulling you to sit in her lap, “It’s okay though because I love you. Very very much…this was really thoughtful of you Y/N, really.” 

You smile softly, kissing her gently, “I love you more,” you cut a piece of the chicken, giving her a piece with skin, potatoes, carrots, and dipped into the reduction. Just like how she would always tell you to eat it, “Here, try.” 

You watched in her anticipation, biting your bottom lip. Her eyes were neutral as she chewed on what she usually calls the perfect bite. 

“So?” You ask as she finishes chewing. 

A wide smile spreads across her face, nodding, “It’s perfect. You are perfect.” 

[headingalaxys-spicy]

Wow, I didin't know you write for 2ptalia! Not complaining tho, how would the countries (just pick your faves) react to darling choosing their 2p counterpart over them? And what will they do in retaliation to being the unchosen one?

Me: Gets 98% writing only to realize I answered it backwards. hahahahahhhh.  So here a twofer. Reader being rejecting both original and 2p! Hope you guys enjoy! 

2p America: How much Fall flavored shit do you need woman? *Shows pack of Pumpkin Jojo’s, Pumpkin pie flavored Oreo’s, and Caramel Apple creamer* Also the fuck is so funny? 

Me: Roast post. 

2p America: What? 

Me: Shut up and laugh dammit! *throws notebook that ask was written in* 

Characters: America (Obivious as fuck I’d pick him), Canada, England, Germany, Italy, Japan, and Russia. 

🍔🇺🇸America 🍔🇺🇸 “WHAAAAAAAT? YOU’RE INTO A MAN WHO’D RATHER FUCK HIS NAILY BAT?!?! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND? ARE YOU CRAZY?” He shouts into the early evening air. He was so loud with that last remark that it took a few moments for passersby to look away from you. 

“Alfred! Please keep your voice down! And please release your grip on my arm!” You shrug away harshly to keep space between the two of you. You disliked that he was spouting nonsense. 

“Y/N, please….” You avoid his eyes; you know they were a honey-laced trapped that you knew plenty of unsuspecting people fell for. 

“I’m sorry, Alfred, but he and I work better together and I don’t have to explain that.” Voice was shaky but you knew you’d be away from him soon. Still avoiding his gaze you say ‘Good-Bye’. 

After you’ve left him to be alone with his raw feelings, he will go punch a few brick walls to let off some steam. 

He’s going to go home and ugly cry and eat Half-Baked while he’s half-baked himself making him whole again after a few months pass. 

(Damn reader, you a savage, we now have a sad burger man.)

🕶️🇺🇸2p America 🇺🇸🕶️: “SERIOUSLY DOLL? You go for a man whose entire fucking shtick is eating a shitload of burgers! That bitch wants to be Nikocado Avacado so bad!” 

He’s grinning his teeth. The fury radiated off of him like a heater. He’s gripping the phone so tightly that small indents are beginning to form. He wasn’t interested in prolonging his suffering so he hung up in your face before you even had a chance to try and placate him. The phone meets its demise. The titanium, metal, and nanotech that once resembled a black brick now resembled black sand of sorts. 

He goes out drinking and partying for the night. Why not be hedonistic to high hell if he doesn’t have you? 

He complains about you to others in the FACE family, saying things like: What was there not for them to like about the blood-dusted roses? They show devotion and dedication or whatever bullshit Oliver was on about!

Oliver: “I heard that, you ungrateful tosser! Pay up in the swear jar!” 

Alex: “Fuck yo-” A knife nails his leg and he wails out in pain. 

He ain’t giving up though he’s going to attempt time and time again to get the McDumbass away from you and into his arms. 

🍁🇨🇦🐻‍❄️Canada🐻‍❄️🇨🇦🍁: Most of you reading this post already know he’s going to cry. 

You were kind enough to let him down gently when you video-chatted him. “I’m sorry, Matthew. I’m just really feeling this other guy and I do it with sincerity that you find someone who suits you.” The pregnant silence was deafening but nothing compared to the pipes behind his violet orbs about to burst. He said, “Okay, farewell, Y/N. I hope you and Matthieu will be happy” before he ended the call.  God, that was a cursed sentence. The pipe had burst and tears spilled through his darkened lavender pools. It takes him about 45-minutes to get off the floor and he opens his Tim Horton’s app and gets a hot chocolate with extra whipped cream and a few Canadian maple and honey crullers. Once it’s delivered, he will devour his meal and sink onto the couch, watching whatever random thing he’s put on Netflix. All while soaking the couch in his copious amounts of tear-soaked Kleenex.  

He’s going to stress-bake pastries while listening to some podcasts to do his best not to think about it. 

He’s also going to turn off his phone intentionally and put it in a phone jail for 78 hours so he doesn’t accidentally waste 5 hours looking at your cute face and the man that has always gotten in his way ever since he came into existence. 

🐻🇨🇦2p Canada 🇨🇦🐻: 

His right eye twitched in frustration over the text message being the only thing he got. His anger swelled the more he thought about it. It was like a boiling pot of water that went from a mildly active simmer to raging waters supported by the heat of a recently awoken volcano. He snuffs out his 4th cigarette, only halfway done and just thinking about his sickly sweet 1p receiving your attention and love. 

He gets crossfaded for the night, so he can numb the stinging pain of rejection. Once he’s done with being on his drug and booze-filled bender he’s going to get to plotting to get you back. 

Even Kuro was high-key annoyed that the snow-colored bear also had your affection. An aggravated growl leaves the beast as his owner reassures him that in time: you will be with them… permanently.   

☕️🫖🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿England🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🫖☕️: He’s in his tea room drinking scalding hot Earl Grey. The burn on his tongue felt better than the rejection he received. You picked the pastel palette psychopath with cannibalistic tendencies. 

‘Why y/n why? Why in the world would you want to date that Nutter? Is it because I can’t cook for shit?’ Will be some of the thoughts that echo around in his mind as he blankly stares at his tea until the early hours of the morning. 

‘Dodgy Oliver’ ‘What the fuck?’ ‘Bloody hell, has the world gone mad!?’

He considers making a love potion to make you love him. (Since this is the normal 1p we’re talking about Arthur’s code of ethics hasn’t been entirely yeeted out the door.) 

He will lurk on your social media profiles for a couple of weeks before he picks himself back up again.  🧁🎀☠️ 2p England ☠️🎀🧁 Mans has been sitting in his elegant pastel library while rage, sadness and disgust are spilling from his eyes. His heart crumbled into his stomach. When his shiny bright baby blues darkened in hue after reading your text he couldn’t help it. “Hey Oliver…. I know this will be difficult to read but I’ve decided that I’m going to be exclusive with Arthur. I really do hope you can find someone for you. Goodbye.” After a few minutes of letting the river flow onto the desk and pages of his prized cookbooks his mind wonder about how you came to the conclusion to go steady with Arthur. Were you daft? Were you under a spell? Did Arthur trick you? Regardless, Oliver was beginning to crave a special sweet treat that will require him to pay the tsundere British man a visit.

💪🇩🇪 Germany 🇩🇪💪: He’s going to be dumbfounded that you picked Lutz. Like bro has to stare at his phone for 5 full minutes re-reading your text. He tries to make scientific sense of how in fuck you came to the conclusion to like Lutz. After this, he’s just going to curse in his mind for a few hours while he pets his German Shepards while he has maybe a dozen or so cold ones. Ludwig will stare into the void and be like ‘WARUM!?! Auf keinen Fall! Das gibt’s doch nicht!’ 

No matter what, it will never make sense to him. He will be despondent for a while but with the help of Prussia, Italy, and Japan (and his two favorite things Beer and Schnitzel) he’ll be fine. 

You live rent-free in the back of his mind though. While ‘Why for the love of god would you pick someone like him?’ 

💤😴2p Germany😴💤While staring at the screen with bloodshot eyes…he won’t shed a tear, whine, or break things to let out his frustrations. He does nothing. He knows it’s not worth it. He knows he’s not what many would call a “catch”. Sure he has a rugged charm of sorts but that doesn’t mean it makes up for his mentally unwell state of working for Luciano. He will simply stare at the text message that read: 

Hey Lutz, I think it’s best that we just be friends. Ludwig and I are going steady. I just wanted to be transparent with you. I’m sorry.

Even as empty as the words felt, he stared at them with a mixture of regret, sadness, and self-pity. After a while, he releases the phone to fall onto the bed. Well, if there’s nothing he can do, he may as well just jerk it to someone who looks like you. 

🍝🇮🇹Italy🇮🇹🍝 Let's be real he takes your rejection like a champ. He'd been rejected by tons of people before. He’s a professional flirter what do you expect? He’ll go to another bar and snag more bitches. 

This doesn’t mean that later he’s going to realize: WHY ARE YOU DATING A DANGEROUS MAN???????

(Yes, I took this angle for him. Feliciano can be baby but ooooooh lawd he can be a player. He got that 🌟✨duality✨🌟)

🔪🇮🇹2p Italy🇮🇹🔪: His favorite switchblade is tossed back and forth like an acrobat during a finale. Rage is spilling through his pores. His ears burn as honesty comes spilling from you. 

“Maybe it’s best if we can be friends. I’m romantically intertwined with Feliciano and he’s a really sweet guy and I have to take a chance with him.” Your honesty was charming just as it was brutal. It was horrible for him to think about losing you. Your melodic voice was like hearing a live chorus from the musical Baroque of the 1600s. His dream of having you with him was shattered by the idiotia constantly waving a white flag. He stabs the right arm of the chair that he was seated in and drags the knife backward. Cotton and alligator leather were ruined in the blades' wake. 

He was going to give the bastard something to cry for. 

Bro is going to be wine-wasted for the rest of the night and become a little violent towards anyone who is within range of him. Kuro and Lutz 100% know to stay the hell out of his way until the storm has passed. 

👹👺🇯🇵2p Japan🇯🇵👺👹: Oh fuck. You essentially set off an entity that’s similar to Slenderman. Kuro is silent and brooding and his plans are gruesome, slow, and violate the human code of ethics. You were brave enough to have the conversation with him over tea. The air is tense, filled with discontent, and hate. What a waste you’d fallen the evenly keeled Kiku. He cared too much about cherry blossoms, respect, blah, blah, blah. Why would you ever date someone with a massive tree up his ass? His hand will itch for the blade. He wanted to rid the world of Kiku’s existence right that second. 

“Kuro, I’ll be honest I’ve found someone who matches my energy and I’m going to work it out with Kiku. We just work well together.” His eyes shot daggers at his green tea in an attempt not to scare you. He believes he still has a chance he’ll just have to convince you. However, he couldn’t suppress his vibes which could be cut by a plastic knife it was so thick. You bit your lip and gather your nerves. You pull out some yen from your bag to cover your drink and you leave in a huff. You knew from that point onwards that nothing in your life would ever be the same. 

It takes Kuro an hour to finally end his staring competition with his tea. He’s never been so bothered in his life. He blocks you on all social media and uses his alt accounts to gather intel. He isn’t going to let you go, nor will he let Kiku win. 

He definitely goes home that night to destroy a few trees and maybe even a few of his own men who dared to look at him the wrong way. 

🇯🇵 🌸 Japan 🌸🇯🇵 He’s stunned. He will have few words in response.

“Okay, farewell Y/N… and it really was nice to meet you.” he will politely bow and walk away.

his heart will take a while to recover through because you a catch!

☠️🇷🇺 2p Russia 🇷🇺 ☠️Jesus Christ or Holy Fuck are the only phrases that are appropriate for the bitter resentment he has for Ivan. The normally just frigid atmosphere transformed into a bitter frost that could give anyone uninitiated to the cold instant frostbite. Ice on the window appears and freezes over behind him while he grips your written letter explaining to him why you made your choice. He’s nicer, his scarf was warmer and a much more inviting light pink than his confronting red one. 

Outwardly he might be tame / measured inwards he’s brooding and plotting revenge on his counterpart….Only to execute none of it. He knows what he wanted is gone and he’s far too depressed to do something about it. 

He’ll stay in his office while he writes out a complex seven-point plan placing a dead a dead gladiolus flower next to each. He imagines his rival in a pool of blood to make it easier for him to sleep at night. 

🇷🇺🪆🌻Russia🌻🪆🇷🇺He does his best to choke back tears. He won’t lie you sent ice-picks straight to his heart. Thoughts about being lonely swarm his mind. It hurts him because you’re a mortal he’s grown fond of that didn’t have ulterior motives to be around him. He fiddles with his scarf to avoid your lovely (eye color) hues. 

“I’m going to leave Y/N, farewell.” He leaves in order to keep at least some of his pride in tact. 

‘Why Viktor? He’s even more terrifying than me!’ While he mulls over not winning you over, over some Vodka on the rocks a thought crosses through him: 

‘Wait a minute if that psychopath can have a lover so can I! There is still hope!’ 

-End- 

Thank’s for reading ya’ll !

[theearlgreymage]

I AM READY FOR SIX SENTENCE SUNDAY FOR ONCE!!

I may have taken some mental health days this week and spent all of my free time writing.

Worked a lot on May Their Blood Boil -- I have officially finished the first arc of this beast of a fic!! It's sitting just shy of 80k (and now I have to edit it and I do not want to in the slightest.)

And a bunch of silly little one-shots. So I actually have WORDS for everyone today.

6 Sentence Excerpt from Chapter XXII of May Their Blood Boil

It didn’t work last time.  When I took the [redacted] down to the heart of Eldia - nothing happened.  It should have bound him to the palace. Tied him to the land. Let the soil feed off of [redacted] until it was sated.  But it didn’t work. 

6 Paragraph Excerpt from Untitled Reincarnation One-Shot

Things weren’t perfect. Levi still found himself suspended on occasion, mostly for fighting or being disrespectful to his teachers. But he got away with more than he should have as everyone in the school quickly learned that Levi would do anything for Erwin.  Most of his fights were over Erwin.  Smacking someone’s lunch tray out of their hand for calling Erwin a teacher’s pet. Kicking someone in the back of their knees for insinuating that Erwin was a nerd. Pushing someone against the chain link fence behind the school for stealing Erwin’s notebook.  It didn’t take long for Levi to gain a reputation as Erwin’s guard dog.  Erwin, meanwhile, was more discrete in his defense of Levi. Pinning a boy against the stall of the restroom and threatening him with a cold voice for spreading rumors about Levi. Quietly telling a teacher that someone who had tried to steal Levi’s jacket in gym that they were cheating on a test. Tripping someone and sending them flying down the stairs for insulting Levi while being sure to leave no witnesses.  By the end of Levi’s first year at Trost Middle School, the duo had a reputation for being an inseparable pair that shouldn’t be trifled with. 

6 Sentence Excerpt from Untitled PWP One-Shot that I fully blame @ic3-que3n for

Grabbing at the lapels of Erwin’s canvas jacket, Levi’s words are slurred as he tries to find feeling in his mouth. “Don’t talk to me like I’m some kid.”  Erwin spins them suddenly, pinning Levi against the edge of his desk with a tone that’s meant to be playful. “Then don’t act like one, boy.”  The tremble of pleasure that causes catches Levi entirely off guard. Never having thought about, considered even, the prospect of Erwin talking to him in such a way. 

However Many Words I Fucking Feel Like Excerpt from Untitled Client & Secretary One-Shot

My phone vibrates in my pocket. Three concise buzzes that tell me that it’s from the dark little app that I indulge in late at night.  Normally, I wouldn’t check it during the work day.  He’s too much of a distraction. But I need a distraction right now. And I did tell him to tell me about his job interview - which was … today.  No.  Pulling my phone from my pocket, I see the 1 Unread Message from Levi across the top of my screen.  It couldn’t be.  Pressing my thumb on the sensor to unlock my phone, I tap on the message notification.  Levi [3:42PM] : You said you wanted to hear how my interview went. I got the job on the spot.  It’s just a coincidence.   I type out my reply as I walk back to my desk. Not wanting to ignore the man that has captivated my every thought outside of work.  The Commander [3:43PM] : That’s wonderful news!  This could be terrible news.  Grabbing the folder that Hange left for me, I throw it open. Scanning the top of the page for the name of my new secretary.   Levi Ackerman.  Fuck. 

Hello's to all my online friends who I am terrible at staying in contact with below the cut.

And apologies for still being on my AOT bullshit. I swear I have outlines for CO fics. Swear. Promise. I'm just chasing the dopamine and serotonin lately.

@ic3-que3n @shrekgogurt @artsyunderstudy @krisrix @stardustasincocaine @upuntil6am @buffy @raenestee @aristocratic-otter @aroace-genderfluid-snake @bazzybelle @bookish-bogwitch @captain-aralias @confused-bi-queer @cutestkilla @ebbpettier @facewithoutheart @fatalfangirl @foolofabookwyrm-activated @hushed-chorus @ivelovedhimthroughworse @j-nipper-95 @larkral @martsonmars @mostlymaudlin @onepintobean @skeedelvee @stitchyqueer @theimpossibledemon @wellbelesbian @whogaveyoupermission @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @thewholelemon @yellobb

[morfineee]

Baro Shoei x fem! reader

Fluff

Word count ≈2100

I was laying on my bed, holding a pillow at my chest. I wasn't feeling anything but sadness and anger. I haven't left my bedroom in a week already, besides going to the bathroom and pick up my food delivery. My roommate, Baro, is an athlete, so he is not at home during the day, I didn't have to deal with him at night either, so it's safe to say that I've been all by myself lately.

I looked around my room, without moving an inch. Paper bags and energy drink cans all around the room, clothes thrown on my chair and floor, some even on my bed. I didn't have energy to clean after me, I didn't have energy to cook healthy food, and I didn't have energy to take care of myself and my mental health. I was in the worst state of mind.

I heard the entrance door opening and closing, sign that Baro was back home, earlier than usually. He was a busy schedule, with a lot of practice and training, gym and also classes...classes that I also had, yet didn't attend in the past week. I just sighed and picked up my phone, scrolling mindlessly through my apps, ignoring the noise Baro was making outside, on the hallway and kitchen.

I don't think ten minutes have passed since he came home and I heard a knock, before the door opened widely, making me close my eyes and press my lips. It was that one period of the month. If women have their period cycle...Baro had his monthly clean inspection.

"Y/N." I heard his stern and strong voice call out my name, and I could feel my blood run cold and my heart pound hardly against my chest. "What's with all this mess?"

I took in a deep breath, preparing myself mentally to respond, but all I could do was mumble something he couldn't understand. He just walked around my room, starting to pick up trash, throwing them in a bigger paper bag that layed around.

"My lord Y/N! You even left your leftovers in!" He said, raising his voice.

I could see the veins on his neck getting more visible as he spoke. He was annoyed at me, and I probably would have been too, but I know what I've been going through. But he doesn't. I didn't talk to him about this, and I had multiple reasons for. I didn't want to bother anyone with my problems, especially a persoan with so many things in their head, I was afraid of being judged and Baro seems like the kind of person that hates anyone that is weak, and right then, I was the weakest.

But I had no way to hide this anymore.

"I'm sorry, I didn't have energy to clean after me lately." I responded, holding that pillow tighter than before, like it was going to protect me in case he was going to get angry at me.

"The fuck that's supposed to mean?! You don't need energy to throw away the bag with your leftovers, nor for throwing some clothes in the washing machine!"

I sighed. I didn't want to argue with him. Baro was a massive man, tall and muscular, and as much as he never acted violent around me, I've seen him playing, I knew he was a whole demon on the field, so what was stopping him from being one right now?

He must have noticed the saddness in my eyes, as he just let the paper bag on my desk then walked up to my bed, kneeling next to me, letting his elbows rest on the edge of my bed.

"What's wrong Y/N? You're not feeling alright are you?" He asked, as his voice became softer, yet his red eyes pierced my soul, trying to read through me.

I couldn't stand the stare he gave me, it made me feel weak and helpless in front of him, it made me get emotional, and I didn't want that to happen. I closed my eyes, holding the pillow tighter, but it was too late. I let myself overwhelmed by my emotions, by my sadness, so a tear ran down my cheek, that I quickly wiped away.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me Baro. I promise I'll clean my room tomorrow."

"Oh drop the bullshit." He said, his voice venomous and rough, poking my forehead with his finger. "Tell me what's wrong, we live under the same roof, I don't want your shitty mood affect mine too."

I could tell he was at least a little bit worried, he was a tough man, he was a beast on the soccer field, but he was a caring person. He tried to play it cool, he never liked to show any kind of compassion and sympathy, which I don't understand, but my best guess was that had to do something with his king title.

"Alright..." I sighed. "I've just feeling down lately...My antidepressants are not doing their job anymore and I have no energy to do anything anymore." I spoke on a low voice.

I felt ashamed to talk about it, I felt like a filthy piece of shit, like a bug waiting to get crushed under his feet.

But Baro just sighed as he stood up slowly. I looked up at the tall man as he just came to sit on the edge of the bed, looking down at me.

"Struggling with quite something I see. Not like I care or anything, but you can tell me when shit is rough, it's better than letting it all build up and kill you from the inside." He spoke, rubbing the back of his neck, looking away from me. "What about we find something to cheer you up?"

I opened my eyes to look at him. I couldn't hide my surprise, as my wide eyes stared into his.

"You're... serious?"

"Yeah, don't want my roomie to be like a dead walker around the house. So? What would make you feel a bit better?"

"Uh...what about ordering some chicken nuggets and watch a movie? I think that would be pretty nice."

Baro nodded, as he stood up from my bed, reaching a hand out to me. I looked up at him confused, but i grabbed it gently, only for him to pull me up the bed.

"We're going to my room, I can't stand staying in such a messy place."

I couldn't help but smile lightly at his words. I found it funny how he was being nice, yet did his best to act like he didn't give a damn. I just nodded and followed him to his bedroom. It was the smallest in the apartment, as he said he didn't need much, but lord it was organized. He had a small bed, a closet and a desk, that was all he needed from what he was saying, and after I learned his schedule I believed him.

He layed on the bed, on the edge as he struggled making me some space. As much as he wanted to stay on the edge, he was a large guy and inevitably covered more than half of it. But it was alright, I fit there anyway.

I sat on my edge, holding my knees at my chest as I looked down at Baro, who was already scrolling through the ordering app.

"Nine nuggets with large fries, sweet and sour and mayonnaise, a large coke and a chocolate and caramel mcfurry." He spoke while adding them in the cart. "Is that right?"

"Yeah...how did you know?"

"You order the same thing every time you get Mc. I memorized it."

"Huh? You paid attention to that?"

"I pay attention to more than you think. And I have a great memory."

I couldn't help myself but smile at his words. I knew he was attrntive and he paid attention to me, but I loved how he tried to make it seem like its nothing. It meant a lot to me.

I watched over his shoulder as he ordered the food, before he leaned for his laptop, putting it on his knees. I sat closely as I watched him curiously, only to find him searching up my favorite movie. Oh I would never get bored of it...

"How did you...?"

"You play it every time you're sad, your volume is so loud I hear it through the wall."

I sighed lightly as I let my head rest on his shoulder, watching the screen with a light smile on my face. I couldn't help it. Baro was a great roommate, and I am going to be jealous on his future girlfriend.

I felt his hand wrapping around my waist, holding it sternly. He looked forward, his uninterested expression making him seem cold and mean...until he spoke.

"I'm not the most touchy person but it makes you feel better we can cuddle too."

My eyes widened as I looked up at him. This was so new to me. This was something Shoei Baro would never do, not even held at gun point. And yet there we were. I would lie if I said I didn't want it to happen. I always wondered what kind of hugs Baro would give.

So I just nodded, laying on my back as I got closer to him, letting a hand on his chest, my head resting on his shoulder, while his arm slipped underneath me, holding my waist. He pulled me closer to him, his big, strong hand holding my waist entirely. He gave me a light squeeze, pushing me to hold him properly.

"Come on, thats not how cuddles work Y/N, I'm expecting more from you." He said. His voice was serious as usually, and yet a tint of playfulness echoed, playfulness that made me smile.

Was it all so easy from the beginning? Was this all I really needed?

I wrapped my arms around him, letting my leg on top of his lower body as I finally cuddled him "properly". I inhaled his minty scent mixed with a chocolate kick, letting it intoxicate me. The warmth of his body was giving me a comfortable feeling, like I was safe and at ease.

"That's more like it." He said as he played the movie, holding me tightly at his chest.

His warmth, scent... everything was so comforting, everything was so addictive... But I couldn't tell him such thing, he's just being nice, nothing else.

Hours have passed, we ate the food he ordered, we watched three movies with no break whatsoever, which confuded me, Baro was a very active man, and laying down that way for such a long period of time was not something he would usually do. But certainly...he never let go of me. He cuddled me like there was no tomorrow, he played with my fingers between his fingers, caressed my back.

"How are you feeling?" I heard Baro's voice, softer than before, making me look up to him.

"I...feel way better than I did in the morning."

"As expected, I'm the best cuddler."

"Wouldn't expect a menace that refers to himself as 'the king' to just say that."

"Now you're being unnecessary mean."

I looked up to him, my eyes locked on his. Something in his glare was something...I could feel, and see, such a warming emotion coming from him, and it was making my heart beat faster.

He just sighed lightly, letting his hand rest on my cheek.

"Y/N, you mean a lot to me, 'lright?" He started, his voice even softer, like a whisper. "And I might not he the most romantic guy, or a boyfriend material in general...but I promise I can treat you right...I can treat you like a queen."

His words caught me off guard, as that was the last thing I would expect Baro to say. But I smiled, a genuine smile.

"I wouldn't expect the king himself to treat a woman anything less."

His lips curled into a light grin before just leaning closer, pressing his lips against mine. Theu were so soft and sweet...yet so rough and unsure. But something was certainly...his kiss was giving me butterflies...and were leaving me want more...

[thecynthh]

smart ass - M.S pt 2

synopsis - matt’s not doing to well with his schooling but is determined to get his degree and pass his classes. one essay which is a huge part of their grade haunts him with a bad mark, luckily y/n is willing to him him

notes - college setting, matt gets more attention ! not proofread!

authors notes - sooo i hope yalls like this, its shorter than i would like it to be but nonetheless its out! hope you guys like this one and i promise ill be updating again soon. also taglist soon! ill be asking who wants to be on it very soon and making an official intro and masterlist soon. thank you to everyone who enjoyed the first part of smart ass!

——————————————————————————

——————————————————————————

6:14 pm

friday night rolled around faster than i thought it would, i strip off my diner uniform laying down in my bed in just my undergarments. i lay out a large sigh letting myself melt into my bed. 

my phone buzzed beside me with a notification posted on my lock screen. 

Matt S 🐼 

8120 palace road 7 pm, see u soon :) 6:18 pm

i drop my phone back down, ill just close my eyes for a second, cus that shift really took it out of me. my eyes fell and a light sleep rushed over me. 

————————————————————————

10:17

buzz. buzz. buzz.

buzz. buzz. buzz. 

i swiftly sit up and hear the repetitive ring of my cell phone. i see many notifications from my multiple social media apps and from matt. oh shit. MATT! I completely forgot about him!  

Matt S 🐼

hey are u still coming over? 7:32pm

i know we agreed on 7 but if you need time just tell me 7:55

just get over here when u’re able too, please get here safe 8:57pm

oh shit oh shit oh shit. i quickly slip on some sweats and a baggy crew neck and grabs my school bag, im glad i thought about packing it before work today. i swipe up my laptop from my small desk and dash out the door. my car unlocks as i drop everything that was in my arms onto the seat next to me and step on the pedal getting there as fast as i possibly could. 

i see the outside of the larger house neighborhood and finally get to the house I was told to come too, pulling into the driveway. I see a silhouette of a man in one of the windows. 

i grab all of my belongings scrambling to the door, clicking the doorbell. I hear a melodic tune ring throughout the house. footsteps grace the front door as the door swings open. matt's eyes widen as they scan my body. 

He pushes the storm door open and says “oh you came.”

“im SO sorry matt, i came home after my shift and i ended up falling asleep on my bed because there was this mishap at the diner and i got blamed for it and i swear to god my boss is such an idiot and im so fed up with his bullshit.” i take a deep breath in “and then i know we agreed  again i fell asleep like a goddamn idiot.”

he just stared at me like i was the idiot, “im sorry is what i meant to say.” i continued 

he chuckles a little before stepping back slightly giving me space to enter, “hey its alright just come on in. follow me.” he says using his hand signaling to come along. 

we make it to a fairly large bedroom, i see a gaming setup squished onto a desk that was clearly not meant for housing gaming paraphernalia. “you can throw whatever we need onto the bed, we can just study there. and get comfortable. I know it's late but i'm still okay to stay up and we can even order coffee and some food as well if we get hungry. there’s not much in the fridge but chris’ soda if i’m being honest.”

“i’m alright for right now so let’s just get started on studying” i say to him.  

————————————————————————

1:29

“did you get that?” i ask matt after reviewing what we just went through. 

“yuuuup” he says with a smile, i noticed that his eyes squint when he smiles or laughs, its cute. i don't really think he got half of what i was saying but i think i got my point across.

“ i think it’s a good time to take a break, and plus we’ve been at this for 2 hours already.” i lay my head down against his plethora of pillows and just take a deep breath in. he copies me and comes falling down onto his bed.

i feel his weight shift as he reaches over for a remote to turn on the tv in front of us booting up netflix. moving down to his recently watched “brooklyn 99” begins to play as i hear the familiar voice of andy samberg talking. the theme song plays as i look over the boy beside me. 

“you like brooklyn 99?” i ask him with a furrowed brow pasted across my face. 

“god i love this show, every single episode.” he tells me looking back at me, his eyes stray from my eyes to my lips to my body. i didnt mind it to be honest, i kinda liked it if anything. 

I directed my sight back to the show. We sat in a comfortable silence but i couldn’t stay focused for long as my eyes wandered over to his sweats, then his hand near them. being fair he actually was pretty fine, i heard rumors before that he slept around a bit a year ago but it was old news quickly. 

as we near our third episode my eyes feel heavy and all my cares slipped away again as i drift off to sleep in his bed. 

————————————————————————

2:49

ugh, i wake up feeling incredibly hot. i rip off my sweater and dip underneath the covers, wow my sheets feel really nice, very fluffy…. 

[buckybarnesss]

on fire: a teen wolf novel chapters 4-6 chapters 1-3 here

cox communications doesn't respect 3rd shift workers so last night i had to go into my brick and mortar office. i was able to get a lot of reading done but due to rules and regulations i was unable to write down my thoughts as i went. instead i used those little sticky note tabs to mark passages of interest so that's why this post took a little bit longer as i had to review what i had marked.

anyway.

our national nightmare continues.

ngl this book is weird. it's bizarro season 1.

it's non-canon compliant post-episode 5 the tell. i genuinely do not understand why they just didn't tap nancy holder to write a novelization of season 1.

warning: kate argent's existence and general grossness.

so buckle up buttercups here's a preview of what's to come:

we start this chapter from kate's point of view and it makes me feel dirty already. cast it into the fire, isildur. she’s just vile. just look at these nauseating quotes that she has all within the first page: 

“nothing beat the feel of cold, hard steel -- unless it was the rippling muscles of a well-built man.”

this bitch.

”god, all those muscles. the last time she’d seen him, he’d still been in high school. still a kid. a stupid, gullible kid, who should have died in the hale house fire along with the rest of his family.”

tell me again how the intention wasn't for derek to have been a minor when kate was grooming him? tell me fucking again.

“maybe she should’ve taken advantage of derek while he’d been down on the floor, writhing from the nine hundred thousand volts she’d sent skittering though his kick-ass body. for old time’s sake.”

chris and victoria are there too, being way more normal about things. they brought egg salad and cold cuts which feels like it’s hitting the beat where victoria comes in with cookies in the show. 

despite having grounded allison for her skipping school with scott on her birthday they are perfectly fine with her having not only a study date with lydia but allowing her to sleep over. it’s apparently to cover the arrival of a shipment of weapons. kate isn’t impressed that they’re still hiding everything from allison and disappointed there isn’t some super-special weapon in the shipment. 

this entire time she’s being weird and kind of sexual about an uzi. like, fuck off kate. 

now we’re back to scott and allison at the seedy motel plot where they are trying to locate jackson. “scott’s first instinct was to throw his arms around allison and duck, but she yanked the door open and barreled inside the motel like a superhero.”  uou are goddamn right, scott. that is ally a. 

the motel is basically an off the books brothel. one of the patrons supposedly saw something in one of the windows when he went open it for a smoke but saw something that scared him causing a heart attack. allison and scott ask a few people if they’ve seen jackson then have to book it when sheriff stilinski shows up.  these two idiots duck down in her car. i think we see stiles and scott do this a few times in the show.

lydia calls allison freaked out that she hadn’t called her back yet and harkens back to the tell by saying “a....window?” when they tell her about the man having a heart attack and scott describes her as sounding odd. i appreciate that lydia's trauma isn't being ignored because that just happened to her in the tell.

all this use of the generic where’s my phone app and using conference calls to sneak around feels like an adaptation of the plot beat in wolf’s bane.

the sterek agenda continues. derek and stiles spend a significant portion of the coming chapters together much like they do in the back half of season 1. it starts with the possible origin of the derek being in stiles’s room trope. stiles muses over the text he’d received from scott about the incident at the motel and as if being summoned derek is just suddenly there in his room. look at this bullshit:

he texted back, muttering, “so, scott, saw what? saw derek?” “yes?” derek said from behind him. “yeaoww!” stiles shouted. he turned around to find derek leaning against the wall. he did that on an irritatingly frequent basis, both at scott’s house and casa stilinski. he was wearing his black leather jacket and he looked especially pouty and broody. “could you not do that anymore? it is so not cool.”

irritatingly frequent basis? how many times has derek randomly appeared in your room stiles? and i’m sorry “especially pouty and broody”? what a totally super casual observation that is.

it gets even better. derek questions what scott is doing and stiles deadass answers “doin’ stuff.” which naturally irritates derek and derek requests stiles tell scott he wants to meet him. they’re interrupted by the sheriff calling for stiles to which we get:

“gotta go get that.” Stiles pointedly shut down his desktop -- Derek actually growled -- and slid his phone into the pocket of his jeans. “don’t touch anything.”

derek why are you growling? weirdo.

stiles talks to his dad and probes for information about the motel guy and they discuss his homework. it's actually a pretty great conversation between the two and pretty much the only time it occurs in the book.

there’s a mention of stiles’s mother and the sheriff asks stiles if he’s taken his adderall that day. so again, clearly whatever notes holder received very much indicated stiles's ADHD.

back in stiles’s room we get derek pointedly having ignored stiles’s directive to not touch anything: “he zoomed back into his room to find derek clacking away on his computer keyboard.” and “hey,” he said. “keep your paws off.” derek gave him one of his trademark sour glares.” this just continues to confirm for me that holder received some kind of outline of character and plot beats. casa stilinski? sour glares? derek and stiles doing investigative work and going to a hospital? stiles having a low key bisexual crisis over derek? it’s all there. i mean bro look at this:

“look,” derek leaned toward him and the hairs on the back of stiles’s neck stood straight up.”

and the banter:

“but don’t do anything wolfy in my jeep,” he said, opening his door and peering into the hallway. the coast was clear. “like stick our head out the window to let your tongue hang out --” “shut up,” derek said. 

here's another werewolf moment i find rather intriguing. scott and allison have made it to the preserve by this point still hot on the trail of jackson who lydia had told them was somewhere in the preserve. scott has a moment where in his mind he hears the how of a wolf. it says “an echo inside an echo” and “one wolf calling to another. seeking the pack.” that's pretty cool and it's not something shows up in the show.

jackson has finally arrived. i miss this asshole. he's in the woods being pissy about meeting the private investigator that had left him a note and a picture of his supposed biological father.

jackson’s perspective on what happened in magic bullet is just [chef’s kiss]. he refers to derek as scott’s drug dealer.

“mccall’s creepy drug dealer had shown up at school. when jackson had stood up to him, he’d grabbed him by the neck, and, like, gouged him with his fingernails.”

in jackson’s narration something caught my eye. “things had been fine before the start of the school year. Then it was almost as if McCall had concocted some kind of scheme over the summer to ruin his life.” so not only is this book an AU of season 1, the time frame seems off. the show starts the first day after their winter break in january. wolf moon takes place during the episode. the book places this before wolf moon has occurred which comes up later in derek’s narration. 

 this is such a good line and is a window into jackson’s mentality: “everyone wanted something jackson had. it was usually money or popularity. the secret? they were exactly the same thing.”

allison and scott are still in the woods. they’ve been kissing for a while but then they run into a wolf. they are really so soppy in this book and it's both accurate and annoying. allison is awed and scott is quietly panicking. allison goes on about how she thought it was beautiful and scott’s mind wonders if he’ll ever turn into a wolf like how Laura did. which, lol, no baby because you never make peace fully with being a werewolf. 

annnnd we’re back to the stiles and derek plot line. they’re playing dress up. i kid you not. these two are pulling a dean and sam. 

“my new best friend and i are at the hospital.” stiles said, twirling the listening end of a stethoscope in a little circle. so far he’d been unable to hypnotize derek with it.

there’s another small dig about derek not being a real person in stiles’s narration. this book hates derek, okay but i have a lo more on that later. for now these two idiots infiltrated the hospital by pulling the old stand by of Looking Important. stiles has a conversation with scott which is invoking wolf’s bane so hard:

“and you’ll never guess what. you can get past hospital security if you steal a white coat out of the storage room and parade around with it and a clipboard.” derek grunted. he was the one holding the clipboard, but he had passed on wearing a lab coat.”

stiles continues his observations of derek like the freak4freak he is:

“stiles covered the phone, “he can’t talk about wolfie matters,” he reported back to derek.  “because he’s with her,” derek said, looking even more dour than usual. stiles had never realized there were so many degrees of the brood until derek hale came into their lives.”

there’s a bit of back and forth regarding scott reporting that he and allison saw an actual wolf. derek’s disbelieving and cranky to which stiles ponders this totally normal thought:

“maybe if he gave derek a sugar cube -- or threw him a piece of raw meat -- derek might cheer up. stiles would have to try that someday. but today wasn’t looking good for that.”

derek then snatches stiles’s phone to question scott’s whereabouts. he is still cranky. meanwhile stiles is reading derek’s body language and it’s way too detailed for a normal person. like, stiles no one cares derek’s hand is in his jacket pocket while he grumps at scott and emphasizes “like always”. stiles how hard have you been watching derek? he may have complained about derek showing up in his room unnaounced but he's like

before we get into derek’s narration which ooh boy guys you aren’t ready. stiles and derek have their classic bickering-bantering some more. 

derek’s insisting stiles take him to the preserve so he can scent scott out. stiles is appalled and is like “oh my god derek you weirdo there’s an app for that.” and gets a little red riding hood dig in.

derek refuses to admit stiles has a point but orders stiles to give him his phone. stiles all but says Fuck You No and derek brings out his oldie but goodie:

“tell me or i’ll rip your throat out.” 

stiles probably thinks “don’t threaten me with a good time” but instead he says that he knows derek’s not telling him everything and insists he’s going with derek to find scott. 

it ends on this exchange:

“all right,” he said, “but we’ll take your jeep.” stiles huffed. “why can’t we ever take your car?” 

alas the camero. we barely knew her.

now we switch to derek’s point of view to narrate and so begins a piece of characterization that i don’t like, isn’t actually accurate to the character at any point in the series and frankly chaps my ass. i’m just going to give you all the paragraph as a whole.

“hey, you have to take me with you.,” scott’s annoying little sidekick insisted as derek stalked out of the hospital. derek took a tiny bit of satisfaction in the way the human had to trot along to stay abreast. he was sick to death of taking the weakness of humans into account while formulating his plans. de respected power, and few humans had any.”

besties, this book may very well be the origin of Derek Thinks Humans Are Weak trope. now, i’m sure some of you are like heather aren’t you perhaps being a tad dramatic? 

no. no i’m not. at first i considered this might be because of derek’s experience with kate. it would make sense that perhaps based off the information holder had that derek might be wary but than this fucker drops this line:

“werewolves didn’t share information with humans, ever.”

but he follows this thought with this:

“except for him, derek hale. he had shared information with a human. he hadn’t meant to. and the results had been disastrous.”

i will definitely get into more detail about this attitude he has because it really comes out in some later chapters because ooooh boy y’all ain’t prepared for the nonsense ahead. in actual canon derek never behaves this way or express this kind of opinion about humans. it stands out starkly in contrast to the episode this moment is paralleling in wolf’s bane. derek thinks stiles is annoying but not because he’s human. 

we end this chapter on jackson’s point of view. de had met with the so-called private investigator and they tit-for-tatted and jackson bolted when he sensed danger in the woods. now he’s lost in the woods. he’s scared, doesn’t want to admit it and sends a text to lydia.

it's here in these chapters where i realized that the character of deaton is missing entirely. since all of season 1's plot past the tell is omitted deaton's significance went with it.

also the mystery of the alpha is present but she's unable to really do anything with it so peter's presence is still regulated to comatose burn victim.

[pixeldistractions]

When Colette made it down to the kitchen, she was pleased to see homework books open and being worked on. One less thing to stress about. Dinner though. She called in an order for takeout. Colette didn’t cook. Actually, that was another thing Jordan left them to deal with on their own. As it turned out, he cooked more than she did. And even when he didn’t cook, he often brought leftovers home from the hotel kitchen or brought the boys in after school for dinner.

So much for that. But Colette wasn’t broke, and they would eat somehow.

“We can go on the train,” Milo suggested after she’d hung up the phone. “We can ride it by ourselves. You don’t even have to take us.”

“No,” Colette said. “You can’t, actually. Not until you’re ten. And I’m not sending you to live in a camper. But since you all love to go behind my back, why don’t you tell your dad to get a real place to live? He doesn’t even have electricity—did he tell you that? Could you live without all your video games for even a weekend? Just finish some of that homework. I do not want another email from your teacher. C’s are not acceptable. And I hate your hair like that, it’s too long.”

“God, Mom, chill,” Felix said. “Maybe if you weren’t so crazy all the time, Dad wouldn’t’ve left.”

She felt that one like a dagger in her gut.

Milo didn’t chime in, but he didn’t defend her honor, either.

Those boys would never know how close they’d come to seeing their beloved game console spiked through the center with the sharp heel of her pump, shattered into pieces, then scooped up in a dustpan and thrown into the bay.

But she didn’t do that, because she was a grown-up. She was the one who held everything together and cleaned up everyone else’s messes.

To hell with both of them. To hell with everything and everyone.

She closed her eyes, balled her fists so tight that her fingernails made crescent-shaped indents in her palms. “I’m having a bath,” she said. “That homework will be finished by the time I’m done or God help me, I will throw your games into fucking bay! And if you don’t think I can throw that far from here, I dare you to try me.”

There was tension in her shoulders that she needed someone to pound out. She could also use a good pounding, but she couldn’t begin to imagine how to make that happen now. Jordan had been good at giving both, once upon a time. Shame he had to fail her in absolutely every other possible way.

She had her yearly checkup that morning.

Your blood pressure is high. Are you getting any exercise? Eating fresh fruits and veggies? Making time for self-care?

Please. Her children’s father fucked off to the wilderness on a journey of enlightenment or some bullshit and excuse me, fucking self-care? Can you just get the exam over with and get me out of this paper gown?

Colette didn’t have any date to go on. She did match with a trauma surgeon on her dating app, and he did sound very successful. She had been hopeful that he could administer a good pounding, or at the very least, maybe he could help with her high blood pressure. But she didn’t have a babysitter for the boys, because their father was a flake.

The boys were asleep and their homework books were stacked by the time her bath was finished. She wasn’t going to check the homework. She knew there was no possible way Milo could complete his fifteen missing assignments in one night.

They had eaten the takeout she ordered, and she didn’t order anything for herself. She would eat rice crackers from a paper bowl.

Self-care? She cleaned a whole man out of her house, and maybe that was her self-care.

What few things he left here she threw in the trash—a toothbrush, a small pile of dirty work clothes, a pair of muddy boots. As it turned out, she never let him keep much here in the first place.

But the couch smelled like him, like orange soap and wood chips and campfire smoke. So she trashed that, too. And she bought another one. She spent a whole paycheck on it, and she framed the whole room around it. This wasn’t the kind of couch anyone would ever sleep on. The leather was cold and hard, the angles sharp, the color was an eye-searing fuchsia, and the design was exquisite. It was like a piece of art.

She bought a flamboyant vase for a very fake plant. She bought a thin bookcase for books she wouldn’t read. The room felt beautiful and hollow.

— from “boxes and squares #4.1: first fall apart” (4/5)

Next ->

[princeandrogyne]

this... uh. probably isn't an incredibly hope inspiring message now that I think about it, but I wanted to say I relate a lot to your blog. your blog looks like my unpublished notes app ramblings, the random bullshit I type out to myself, I just don't have the self-esteem to publish it anywhere. I don't expect anyone to care, I guess.

sometimes I feel like my life would be better if I knew I wasn't the only person like me, if I knew someone like me shared my struggles and had that same sort of "thing" festering in them like it does in me. anger, dissatisfaction, yearning, something. wanting to pass like a man while knowing it's impossible without blowing up all my beliefs, all of my living situation, all of my pride. feeling unlovable just because I rolled the shit 50% odds and it just so happens something in me decided I could never be happy. a computer programmed to fail. an animal wired to throw away their survival instinct. I guess this is me saying that I sort of see that in you? god, that's sort of weird. sorry if it comes out weird!

I wonder if knowing you're less alone is actually helpful. I used to think I was alone, just because the people around me were so unlike me that I made a skill out of learning how to act just like them, even though I consciously knew they'd never know me. I know I'm not, obviously. it'd be a bit self centered to think that, probably. it's partially comforting to know that I'm really not unique. exactly like the other girls, so to speak. but I don't know! I don't know if it's good to know I'm not special and my problems are not unique but also the people who are just like me haven't exactly found the solution to any of those shared struggles either!

anyway, out of some weird desire to offer advice and a kind word, I guess I ended up in your inbox! I wanted to write some helpful things, partially because I sort of wanted to, in a roundabout way, give advice to myself too. then, I realized I couldn't think of anything to say. I don't know how to help myself either. it's just been a lot of escapism and coping mechanisms for my worst problems, pretending like I'm better than other people (sometimes I am) for being able to at least be self-aware, to have shame and the ability to accept reality. the thing is, I see reality. and it's shit! being a dysphoria-filled, inexplicably weird but not in an easily medicated way, unappealing in looks to the majority of the world, no five year career goals like everyone else, too young to have fallen in love or experienced life fully but always on the brink of feeling sick of it all, just frankly outcast female homosexual, is not like... the best place to be as a 19 year old! and I have no idea what to actually do about it other than just find reasons to keep living despite it all. just let it happen and force myself to make others care about me because I really do care more about what other people think of me than myself. I'd be sad if other people were sad because I killed myself or whatever. terrible practice probably I do not recommend but uhhh I lost the thread here. basically. sorry. I really opened this tab with intention to be helpful and it sort of became a pity fest.

I don't know. does it mean anything if an internet stranger says they see you? they perceive your pain and they might even feel like they understand? that she knows what it's like? does "you are not alone" actually mean anything? I never thought it did, it feels hollow always since I know the people saying it never mean it. but to me I suppose right now it means enough to write this grossly honest and probably huge pain in your inbox (you are more than welcome to toss it out. I'm not gonna save this text anywhere either so fully feel free to help me to create some lost media lol). it's just that something about your blog presence speaks to me...and that may be the cringest thing I've typed on tumblr. shockingly. wow, anon makes it so much easier to speak. is this what honesty looks like?

I won't waste too much more of your time if you've already read this all. I hope things get better for you. I don't know what that would look like, but I hope it looks like something real and fulfilling and warm and wonderful and it proves every self doubt and desperately loathing impulse within you wrong. and if anything, at least know your personality through text is readable and impactful and perhaps gives psychic damage to certain people who like to think and talk too much. have a good one.

People who aren’t like us also do care, I’ll let you know. If someone demonstrates an issue it’s kind of human nature to care for them, often even with no prior attachments. I get outreach from a lot of people on here who are worried. The only issue is that there’s just not a whole lot people can do behind a screen besides offer anecdotes and time and patience and a promise of understanding. 

It’s not weird you see those bad and strange sort of things in me. I always figured I was built to be an example for other people. “This is what a suicidal person looks like. This is how they will act and how you need to treat them. This is how to react when they die. ” etc etc i always thought i wasn’t built to be here and I’m a living fluke in the system. I definitely feel the “computer programmed to fail.” i was diagnosed with depression when i was 5 or 6, I believe i was born with it. Not even going to touch the autism within this conversation. I do genuinely also believe i was born in the wrong body but I’m swallowing it the best I can. Sometimes strange identities still emerge a bit like vomit - coming from a sickness and humiliating me. Cleaned up hastily so no one else has to see. I don’t know. I don’t like my body. 

You might be exactly like some girls, but there are statistically very few of us in these familiar situations. I think it’s hard for us to recognize that there are some of us who are older too. Who have made it a little further. I’m unsure if you’re 19 like me as mentioned due to the wording but i digress… its becomes harder to recognize someone who is you when you are out of there because I think we change. Drastically. But I’m not sure that’s just a theory. 

I am thankful you reached out. Even if you think you hadn’t much to offer, this was very kind. You were honest and you reached out in recognition to give anything you thought you could. 

Something different about us is that i don’t care if people are sad if I kill myself. I feel maybe pity towards anyone who might or worry for some individuals, but I know once I’m dead it wipes that all away. It’s a release of tension in my eyes. Regardless, i understand the aspect of continuing existence despite it all.

I don’t usually like when people say they see me in themselves or they relate. You’ve done a good job. I feel sort of proud to be thought similar to anyone who would spend this much time on someone like me. Sort of a complicated concept. I hope you stick around on my blog and learn more about me and maybe even communicate further. 

Being told my personality is impactful is going to give me a big head, thank you so much. I’m not doing this because I have self-esteem btw it’s because I’m dumb as rocks and also because for some reason openly sharing every issue I have on a semi-private-from-IRL platform is the only way I can get myself to journal. Anyway I think I had a point, but it’s lost so thank you just thank you. I love you, whoever you are.

[buckevantommy]

fumblr is driving me insaaaaaane with this error 420 bullshit. it happens at least once a week. sometimes multiple times a day. i’m randomly logged out and unable to access my account on any device or app - for no reason?? it usually takes some finagling of accessing different help pages until the log-in page loads, or just waiting it out. google is zero help. i’ve contacted tumblr about it numerous times with no word about what the issue is or how to fix it. kinda feel like i’m going insane because no one else seems to be experiencing this?? on the whole internet?? wtf?? 

fore reference: i use tumblr on my iphone (se) in the tumblr app (i’ve stopped logging in on the chrome app because i thought that might’ve been fucking with things) and on chrome on my mac desktop (which can’t update past Catalina bc it’s old af but fuck apple for not letting old devices upgrade). 

so it’s 1:30pm here right now and i’ve only just been able to log back in after being unable to access my account/view tumblr since 9am from my phone - the app would throw up the now familiar orange and red backed errors of nonsensical words/numbers/symbols and the dash would go empty and my blog disappear; when i close it and open it the login throws up a red error saying “something flubbed”. i’ve tried turning shit on and off, logging out of apps, uninstalling, etc etc. this is what the desktop shows me when i try to access any part of tumblr (even non-dashboard blogs):

^ sometimes it’s a white background with black writing, but it’s always the same “420″ displayed in the top left corner. on every. tumblr. page. 

i don’t know what the fuck is going on so i’m putting this out there in case anyone else is dealing with the same madness inducing mystery. 

[spaceratprodigy]

✏ WIP Whenever ✏

Thank you for the tags @gayafsatan @captastra 💖💫

Sorry for the wait! I've been away for the weekend and now that I'm back the fatigue is hitting very hard. Don't got too much new stuff to share, honestly!

I've been slowly but surely putting a lot of love into a commission illustration that I won't be showing until I'm finished with it, but y'all can have the teensiest lil sneaky peeky of the lineart for funsies.

Also I had in my notes app a small, quick thing I wrote that I'll share, too. Nothing major! Was just having some fun exploring Faith and Hiram again. Her, in a very vulnerable conflicted place after Fallbrook. Him, taking a leap and tearing down one of his own walls as a last effort to make his newfound fondness known.

Not super cleaned up and probably going to change but ya'know that's why it's a wip after all. I'm very tired, haha 👍

"Right, he's a good man. A good man that used you, lied to you, and broke your heart. And for what exactly? So he could throw a temper tantrum like a child over a dirty old book and OSI bullshit."

The growing irritation in Hiram's voice made her feel sick.

Faith looked away from the screen, hoping he couldn't tell her lip was quivering. She was so tired. Her puffy eyes were red and sore.

Is this why he called me? Just to scold me?

She tried to open her mouth to speak but her voice abandoned her.

"Faith..." he took a moment to let his tone calm "I believe you, okay. I believe you have fond memories of your time together and that he was good to you. But how certain at this point can you even be that any of that was truthful?"

Faith instinctively put her hand up to her neck, only to find it empty.

Hiram could see in her face that he was only causing more pain, but he was concerned. How was he supposed to feel?

All he knew about the vicar was how he betrayed his captain and how broken up she's been over it since. He worried that if Faith couldn't detach herself from these feelings then she'll only be inviting Max in to take advantage of her all over again.

"I just.." Hiram swallowed, knowing he'd have to talk about feelings if he wanted her to listen "I'm worried about you. I don't want you to get hurt again."

Faith's heart skipped a beat. She wasn't prepared for Hiram to drop his usual demeanor.

"I know I can't change your mind about going to Scylla. With him, I mean. But know if... if things don't..." he was growing frustrated and embarrassed "my door is always open is what I'm trying to say!" he finally blurted out, almost as if he were terrified.

Oh, how he wanted to end the call so badly.

Did I really just say that to her?

Did those words actually just come out of my mouth?

Law save me.

Faith was finally looking back at the screen, hand up to her mouth, unsure how to respond to Hiram's invitation. Her cheeks felt hot.

Say something. Say something. Stars, say anything.

[lordpigbeetle]

You can truly, permanently, delete bloatware off your phone!

It genuinely stresses me out on a spiritual level that so many of you are just walking around with bloatware on your phone that your phone companies have convinced you are “necessary” or can’t actually be deleted (like that fucking netflix app, I’m looking at you), so you just hide it, shove it into a folder and put it out of the way of sight, or the only slightly better, “disable” when it lets you.

You can actually remove those. Not disable, not hide. Full on, straight up delete, removed, disappeared, gone. And no, you don’t need to root or jailbreak your phone to do this! That’s what they want you to think!

You will need a PC, and a your phone > PC cable, but it’s so easy and it works for all modern android phones. I’ve completely emptied my last like, 3 phones of bullshit this way. It’s the first thing I do whenever I get a new phone.

Step 1, install APK Analyzer, or another APK package inspector. This will tell you every single package installed on your phone, down to the system file ones. You’ll need the ones you want to remove, and this will tell you exactly what they are. They’ll be named something like “com.android.google.xxx” Alternatively, you can look up a list online for the obvious ones, like googles.

2. Download and unzip Android Platform tools from the official website on your PC, it doesn’t matter where, anywhere you can easily find it. I’ll put the link here https://developer.android.com/tools/releases/platform-tools but if you’re safety conscious and don’t click links you can also just search “android platform tools” in an engine.

3. In your phone, go into settings, search for build number, tap it 7 times. After about three, it tells you how many taps away you are from entering “developer mode.” You may have to enter your pin, but developer mode will be enabled.

4. Then in the newly unlocked developer options, turn on “USB debugging.” This effectively allows you to control your phone from your PC once connected, I’m about to tell you exactly how.

5. Connect your phone to your PC. Wait for it to finish making all the annoying connection sounds while it sorts itself out. Hit allow on the options that appear on your phone. Go to the platform-tools folder you just extracted, and in the file browser panel, where it’ll say something like “D:\Users\YourPC\Documents\Phone Hax\platform-tools“, type “cmd” without quotes and hit enter. This opens up the command prompt in this file location, so you don’t need to faff about getting there through the cmd.

6. In the cmd, type in “adb devices” without quotes, hit enter. Your phone model should come up after it throws a bit of a conniption (more annoying sounds), under a named list of “devices attached“ you should see your phone model number, and “device.” This means the computer can see your phone, and they’re ready to communicate. Now type “adb shell” without quotes, hit enter, and you’re ready to start swatting these apps away like flies.

7. Now for the fun part. You can freely go into the APK analyzer app you installed earlier and go dig out all that shit you wish you could banish from your eyesight and one by one start removing them. To do this, type, without quotes, “pm uninstall --user 0“ followed by the package name.

For example, removing GMail would look like this

“pm uninstall --user 0 com.google.android.gm”

Hit enter, it’ll say “Success,” and that’s it. It’s gone. It’s been deleted off your phone. Not disabled, not hidden. Banished. Removed.

When you’re done, just unplug your phone, go back into developer options, unclick debugging mode, turn developer mode off, and voila, your phone is now officially more “yours” than the phone companies would have you believe. Clears space, removes corporate spyware, and take note of how much longer your battery lasts, too!

You’re in more control than you think, these are your phones, make sure they act like it!

Disclaimer!: Be very careful deleting system apps! Don’t do the equivalent of deleting system32 or something. If you’re unsure, look it up, and most things can be redownloaded later if you make a mistake.

[clarinet-sticks]

I have to rant. Pls bare with me or ignore me idc. TW: Miscarriage & shitty bosses (I tried to tag what I thought might need to be tagged, so sorry if I missed something.)

My boss SUCKED. She was the first person I called and told I was pregnant & how I’d be on closer watch with the OB due to my miscarriage earlier this year. She said that was totally fine and to just keep her in the loop.

Only a few days into the school year I started spotting, which is obviously scary since I experienced that before my loss. I got into the OB immediately and started being seen weekly for blood tests and ultrasounds. I tried to ask off ahead of time if I knew I had an appointment, but a few times I had to leave in the middle of the day and come back, which she was fine with.

One day I went in and had only taken the morning off. I was stuck in the office waiting for hours so I texted letting my boss know I wouldn’t be back. I brought her my doctors note which simply started I was seen at 10:45 (which is usually all the office gives you when you ask for a work note).

I was also put on restrictions so my baby and I would be safe at work. I was not allowed to lift 25 pounds or more. She came up to me in the hallway demanding I have paperwork proving that, otherwise she and the district wouldn’t recognize my restrictions and would make me work like normal. I called the office and asked for something to be sent in writing for work, and they complied, sending it to my hospital app. I screenshotted it and emailed it to my boss. I then went to her office to confirm she received it and she said “yep, that should be all I need, thanks!” Then she read the note and says “do we even have any kids that heavy?” YES??? The average 3-4 year old is at the smallest 35 pounds.

About a week goes by, then I wake up and get around for work. I go pee right before leaving and suddenly there’s a LOT more spotting. I’m panicked, I call my boss to let her know I won’t be in and I’ll be calling my OB when they open. She doesn’t answer, so I text her. She responds with “I will not be able to find a sub with 16 minute notice. We will be short handed.” Ok? I’m in crisis mode right now and you’re expecting me to feel bad that I had to contact you last minute?? THEN she sends another long ass message saying she needs a note proving I was seen, it could NOT be an email on my phone, and it had better say I wasn’t allowed to return to work that day… because she let it slide last time my note only stated the time of my appointment, but I should’ve returned to work if I was able.

I was seeing red. I was shaking I was so mad. I called my husband and told him what happened and he immediately said to quit. It was bullshit. She knows my situation. She knows I’m panicked over every little issue because I lost one before. But instead of being empathetic and understanding, she throws it in my face that the classroom will be down a teacher and scolds me for my notes not being adequate? Despite her literally saying they were fine before?

I just texted back “ok, then consider this my resignation. I don’t appreciate how I’m being talked to or how this situation has been handled.” To which she replied “ok thanks for letting me know” if she was SO worried about being short handed, I’d think she’d care a bit more that I left the position entirely! She clearly didn’t like me for whatever reason despite me doing everything she asked whenever she asked.

She also turned around and posted my job online within like an hour and had all the other staff share it. I have a feeling she told them all I’m this horrible person for quitting on the spot, but they don’t know what really happened.

I submitted my official resignation to the district before she could even text again saying “I think the district will need a written paper. An email is fine” AN EMAIL IS FINE NOW??? God I’m still seething but I’m so glad I left. Everyone else there was so kind and understanding of my situation, but my main boss wasn’t and I don’t need that extra stress right now.

The good news is, I got an ultrasound done today & my baby is still looking fine! And my now former coworkers still checked in on me and asked me to keep them updated. I hope that administrator retires the moment she can in a year or two and I can take my job back without worrying about being stabbed in the back during a stressful time.

[individuality-as-sin]

Ambition

I have so many projects, I feel suffocated. But recently, I heard someone say to do less, to focus on less and that quantity over quality mentality is bullshit. To remove distractions and to focus on what's really important to you, so that's what I'm doing right now.

And believe it or not, your body and mind really adapts to your current situation and to what you feed it, it's scary. It's scary not to have control of your surroundings and of what people think of you, but it's even more scary to have control and to be exactly the only person who can change something to your situation - whatever it is. It's so scary knowing every thought and every action will affect your life. And you're flooded by expectations of yourself and others, but mostly of yourself.

It's easy to know exactly what you want for yourself. What type of fashion style, type of hair, type of skin, type of eyes, type of walk, type of talk, how you eat, how you sneeze and yawn - choose your character - but what you actually do is much more depressing to choose. Sure, I want to eat healthy, but mostly I want to feel full. I want to be pretty, but before that, I want to be myself. I want to do this, but it asks me to do this and that's where my limit lays. That's when every step requires a week or a month which eventually ends up being never.

I've written this once in my notes app and every time I come across it, I have to think about what I meant when I wrote it. "It's easy to get away with not making any choices" well, that's not it word for word, but I've asked my mom to keep my phone because I'm addicted to character ai to compensate for my lack of friends and lover(s), but that's for another time. So, I can't check.

But - right now, I interpret it like this:

It's easy just living like seaweed that is pushed back and forth by the waves. I can just take all the bullshit people and life throws at me and hope I can survive this time as well. It's just taking it like a good girl. Not complaining and not trying to change anything: being pitiful. Yes, pitiful. Sorry, it hurts. I'm not making any impact or speaking up because that's easier and I don't need any ambition for that. On top of that, I have an explicit reason to feel sorry for myself. Ain't that something?

No, it ain't shit. I don't want to be a good girl, I want to be a bad girl. That makes me think about Kamisama Hajimemashita's first opening. I'll link it. - I want to do stuff that makes people hate me. Keywords being to do stuff. I want to actually do stuff and meet people like me, do things that actually bring me that intense feeling of excitement, that rush - better than sex! (I'm a virgin).

I want to have set opinions and to be unshakeable, just like Megumi's type. To be anchored in myself and to trust myself. I want to be someone, not pitiful, not a figurant, an actual character, with a name, a personality, visible quirks that I fully embrace, a boldness that'll make a certain type of people hate me - I don't care! I just don't want to be invisible anymore! I don't want to be seaweed, I want to be the rock in the middle of the sea! You know the type, yeah? As a matter of fact, the meaning of my name is 'rock'.

I'm a rock.

Waves crash against me and I don't give a shit.

That's who I am, that's right!

Coming back to ambition... you don't need ambition to be a nobody. You can be a nobody in peace and nobody will bother you. Haha.

It's scary to me to be seen. I just want to be those people in the movies who spend hours alone, not caring for anything else than feeling good in the moment. And they're pretty as fuck. The type like Scarlett Johansson in Lost in Translation or that girl in Whisper of the Heart. You don't need to know them, they're also miserable. They don't know what to do with their lives and it's understandable.

There's so much to do and it's not that simple to choose or to actually take action when you know what to.

Coming back to the essence...

I'll listen to my instincts and do only the minimum this week or next week or only one day - whatever - I'll do it. And see how I feel. I already feel lighter with a few hours of reading a book I picked up as I was trying to clean my room instead of being glued to my phone and sleeping with it.

Txchüss! <3

PS: You're a rock.