#and now it’s nighttime but i feel too sad to even want to sleep

[imbored1201]

hiii!

could you write something where teen r lives w ona and is always attatched to her but then lucy moves in with her and now r is upset bc she has to actually use her own bed and ona ends up buying a new bed or something.

:)

Ona’s Follower

Lucy x Ona x Teen Reader

Word Count: 2k

Yours and Ona's bond ran deep; the two of you had played in Manchester together. You were just 15 when you started playing with her; it was your first season coming from the academy, and she convinced you to move to Barcelona with her.

She always took care of you, and you practically followed her everywhere. She enjoyed the company though, teaching you everything, like how to cook her favorite Spanish dishes and even trying to teach you Spanish.

You feel the moment you really got attached to Ona was when she comforted you because of your frequent nightmares.

The two of you ended up being roommates when staying at a hotel with the United girls. 

You had hoped you wouldn't get a nightmare. That didn't go your way, considering you had one. 

You were woken up by Ona, who held you that night, and the next night, you had another one. 

Back at the apartment, you continued to sleep in Ona's bed. You realized sleeping with Ona helped you a lot since you stopped having nightmares, and it turns out Ona hated being alone in a bed to the point she had a lot of stuffed animals on her bed while she slept so she didn't feel alone. 

It was a huge win for both of you. 

————

You noticed something was going on between Ona and Lucy. Lucy was coming over every day now. You would always find them cuddling on the couch, and she would even pick you guys up to take you to training and games. 

You liked Lucy; she was funny and always brought you candy, and you always destroyed her in FIFA, so it was fun. 

————

Then the next step happened. Lucy moved in. You were panicking, to you, that meant you and Ona couldn't sleep in the same bed anymore. That made you disappointed, even sadder, watching Lucy unpack all her things. The good thing about it was that you were able to see Nala every day now. 

"Want to help me build this?" She was referring to a new dresser she had gotten. "Sorry, Luce, I need to go riding around." Lucy grinned, happy you were actually using the bike she had given you.

Ona was always complaining that you spent too much time in your room, so Lucy got you a bike, hoping it would motivate you to get out and go around the city.

That bike ride took a little bit longer than you intended. You did get caught up in your own head because, by the time you knew it, it was nighttime. Way past your cerfew. 

————

"Ona, calm down; she's fine; she probably just got caught up." Ona's eyes widened. "What if she got caught up doing something she isn't supposed to?" Lucy sighed, regretting her word choice. 

"Ona, she's a good kid; she knows not to do anything bad. She'll be back soon; you're tired; come on." Lucy led her to bed. Ona continued to stare down at her phone, waiting for any little text from you. 

She spent a couple of minutes lying down in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. "She has a key, Ona. Come on, you have to let the kid do her own thing at times. She'll be back soon; if it makes you feel better, I'll stay up and wait for her." Ona sighed and nodded. 

By the time you got home, Lucy had already fallen asleep. She did wait an hour though; she was worried too, but once she finally received a 'I'm okay' text from you, that worry went away, and she fell asleep spooning Ona.

Once you finished your routine, you went to Ona's room. It was just a habit of yours at that point, and when you saw her and Lucy sleeping cuddled up in bed, something burned up inside you. Jealously and sadness. Tears started to build up in your eyes

You know it was probably childish, but it was just something you were used to. Ona had been your anchor; every time something went wrong, you went running to her. With Lucy there now, you felt like you couldn't do that anymore. 

You gently closed the door and walked to your room. It was weird sleeping in your own bed for once. You hadn't done that in forever; you grabbed one of Ona's hoodies that you stole and laid down, using it as a pillow. You hoped you wouldn't have a nightmare and fell asleep. 

————

Lucy was the first to wake that morning; she hated to admit it, but she completely forgot she didn't see you come the front door; she got lost in admiring Ona's beauty to remember. 

When Ona stirred, the first thing that came to her mind was you. She thought about last night and quickly sat up, not needing any time to fully wake up. 

Lucy noticed Ona's panicked expression when she looked at her. "What?" She asked, getting up. "Where's Y/N?!" She was panicky, walking out of the room to search for you.

Lucy quickly got up and followed her as Ona checked the living room and kitchen. Lucy checked your room, and there you were. Using Ona's sweater as a pillow and holding onto a stuffed teddy bear, Lucy won you at the fair. She even won Ona one, then bragged about being too good at everything. 

"Ona, she's in here," she quietly said, gently closing your door. Ona was about to barge into your room, but Lucy gently grabbed her. "She's sleeping." Ona sighed in relief and went back to the kitchen to make apology pancakes for you. 

"Hey, what's wrong?" Lucy put her hand on Ona's hips. "Fuck Lucy, we shouldn't have slept in the same bed. I'm sorry. Y/N, she always sleeps with me; the poor girl gets these bad nightmares, and they stopped when she started sleeping with me" 

Lucy looked understanding and thought for a little bit. "You know, we need to get a bigger bed anyway; it would be beneficial for everyone and maybe even encourage a little more action," she smirked. Ona raised her eyebrows. "Lucy, we are not talking about sex while there is a child in the bedroom."

"Of course not; that's why we send her to Mapi and Ingrid's. What I'm trying to say is, let's get a bigger bed so she can sleep with us."

Ona's face lit up, and she immediately grabbed her car keys. "I'm going to look at bigger beds," she told Lucy, and left. Lucy quickly took over, smirking to herself for being a genius. 

————

That whole day, you only came out to eat the pancakes and for dinner. Lucy took control and barged into your room. You ended up crushing her in FIFA again.

It was now 10 p.m., and you were thirsty, your eyes hurt from playing video games all day, and you had done nothing productive all day. Mostly trying to get used to the fact that your room was actually going to be your room for once. 

————

"What's wrong?" Ona asked noticing your frown, you jumped, almost dropping your water. You weren't expecting Ona and Lucy to still be up at this time watching their romantic movies. "Nothing, just thirsty."

"Come watch the movie with us." Lucy made room between her and Ona. You shook your head, "I'm going to bed." Lucy didn't give up, though; she got up and threw you over her shoulders. 

"Luce," you whined. She threw you on the couch, and Ona was quick to hug you, so you couldn't get up. You sighed, paying attention to the movie. 

You were exhausted by the end of the movie, the comfort of Ona being next to you made it harder to keep your eyes open. You let your head fall against Lucy's shoulder. 

"How about you two snuggle in tonight? I'll take the couch. Then we'll go get the thing tomorrow." Lucy winked at Ona at the last part. You were confused but too tired to argue. The bed was being delivered tomorrow morning; it was just up to Lucy to bring it in on her own and build it. 

Ona led you to her room, where you collapsed on her bed. “Did you have any nightmares last night?” She asked as she got in beside you. You shook your head, rolling into her body and cuddling into her chest. She wanted to apologize for making you sleep in your own bed that night, but you had already fallen asleep. 

————

Once again, you woke up to no Ona. You huffed and got up, stealing a sweater that you were pretty sure was Lucy’s. “Ona?” You called out. 

You heard the front door opening and someone grunting. Nala started barking at whatever it was, so you made your way to the noise, thinking it was Ona. You let out a sad sigh when you saw it was Lucy. You loved her, but all the woman made was eggs in the morning, and you wanted Ona’s special pancakes again.

"Where's Ona?" You asked Lucy, who was struggling to bring in a mattress. "Store," she spoke out of breath. 

"What are you doing?" You asked. It was pretty obvious, but your brain was way too confused right now, and you had to ask questions. She let out some deep breaths before speaking. "Putting in the new mattress"

"Can I help?" She shrugged. "Sure, pull it," you grunted as you did what you were told. Ona wasn’t actually sure if the mattress would fit through the door; she just hoped it would. "Finally,” Lucy said, when the mattress finally got past the door. 

You were Lucy’s helper, playing with the tools, giving her whatever she needed, completely forgetting about your hunger. She proudly patted your back when everything was finished. 

"This calls for ice cream." She put a hand on your shoulder and led you out. You looked at her confused, but just went along with it. "I haven’t had breakfast," she shrugged. "It's fine.”

————

"Kid, you know I'm not going to take Ona from you, right?" You paused from where you were eating your ice cream and nodded, but you weren't actually sure how you felt. 

"Ona adores you; trust me, in a house fire, she would save you over me." You smiled at that. “But it’s fair; I would save Nala before the both of you."

"You promise you'll take care of her?" She nodded before adding, "I'm going to take care of both of you, I promise." She put out her pinky finger, which you took with yours. 

"That's why we bought the new mattress; it's bigger so all three of us could fit on that bed," you had a confused look on your face again, "Won't you be uncomfortable?" Lucy shook her head and let out a little laugh.

“Of course not; at this point, you’re my stepkid, you’re my favorite stepkid, and Nala is my favorite kid." She smiled proudly at that, and you appreciated it in a way. "Thanks, Lucy; I guess I understand why Ona fell for you now." “I’m just charming, ain’t I?” "Nevermind"

————

You still didn’t believe Lucy was actually comfortable with you being there, which is why you got ready to sleep in your own bed again. Lucy broke into your room once again, a rare stern look on her face. 

“What are you doing?” Lucy asked, her arms crossed. “I don’t want to disturb.” Lucy once again threw you over her shoulder and carried you to the bed. 

She set you down close to Ona who smiled at you. 

“Sleep bebita,” Ona spoke, spooning you. Lucy got into bed, leaving you squished in between them. Lucy got closer to you, making you push her away. “You have all that space over there."

“Shut up and let me cuddle you." You rolled your eyes and squirmed away from her, but she felt you relaxing after a couple of seconds. Your eyes were closing, and in a couple of seconds, you were out.

“Thank you for making an effort with her, Lucia.” Lucy nodded as she stroked your hair. 

“I’m just the stepdad that stepped up, ain’t I?” Lucy grinned, Ona rolled her eyes, holding you tighter. “Buenas noches Bronze”

[itsfairly]

Nighttime Care // Nanami Kento x gn!reader

word count: 5.5k (ops)

cw: fluff, gender neutral!reader, established couple, petnames (sweetheart, sweetie, honey, darling, dear) not proofread (when is it?)

summary: work, work, and more work, it just seems like nanami can't catch a break from all this overtime. its exhausting, and you can see that and decide to give a helping hand.

notes: time to pass all the silly scenarios I've thought off instead of the outlines for the other fics i have on my drafts ❤

liked this? show it with a like, reblog, and/or comment. each is greatly appreciated and celebrated!

Tired.

Tired, tired, tired.

While it was a significantly better change when he quit his job as a salaryman and returned to his life as a sorcerer, Nanami hated how overtime seemed to follow him. But he hated how overtime not only meant coming home late and all tired. Now it meant coming late to you and being robbed of his time with his sweetheart.

It was way past midnight by the time he got through the front door, huffing almost too loudly as he kicked his shoes off and stepped into the quiet of your house.

No show playing on the TV with you on the couch all curled up waiting for him.

No smells coming from the kitchen with your back facing him as you hum to yourself with your attention on making tonight's dinner.

No running up to him to wrap your arms around him and pepper his face with your lips as you welcomed him home in a muffle.

No you to brighten such a shift at work.

Maybe it was better this way. It was late and you had work tomorrow, you had every right to be asleep right now. The slight disappointment from no sign of you awake quickly turns towards himself. How could he be selfish enough to expect you to wait for him at this hour? He had insisted that you should not wait for him so late, you had your own stuff outside of your relationship together and he rather that you would at least rest easy. Besides, you couldn't see him like this—dark eye bags, a deep frown, and barely standing. Nanami always wanted to be presentable before you, you deserved to see him at his best, not...not like this.

Yet, his heavy steps betrayed him. Despite his best attempts to keep you asleep, your light sleep triggered and caused you to groan awake. You turn on the bed, trying to find the source of the sound that interrupted your sleep only to see the bedroom door open as Nanami slipped between spaces. Silent mutters help you recognize Nanami's voice, your mind finally catching up to what your senses were telling you. With a squint of your eyes, you look at Nanami with your lips curling downwards. His voice sounded tired, his steps were dragging across the floor, and he simply seemed overworked to no surprise. Overtime simply wasn't anyone's choice of spending the night.

"Kento?" You called out in a groan, still feeling a bit drowsy from your interrupted sleep.

Your tired voice makes him sigh, giving him another reason to feel upset after a long shift. Not at you though, he didn't want to wake you up and he tried really hard to let you rest. With a heavy sigh, his shoulder slouched slightly as he turned to look at you, making his way to sit on the edge of the bed right in front of where you were laying down.

"Sorry, sweetie. Didn't want to wake you up." Nanami whispers, a tinge of jealousy in his voice. Seeing how cozy you looked on the bed made him want to be in your place and be able to rest as easily as you, he needed to lay down next to you and sleep. But he couldn't just yet. "I'm home..." He adds, a hand coming up his face to remove his goggles and holding him in a fist.

"Don't worry about that," You assured him, feeling the bed shift as he sat on the edge of it.

With a yawn, you sit up to try and wake yourself up now that he is back. Despite still being zoned out from sleep, it didn't take much to notice just how exhausted he was. It was a sad sight to your eyes, even sadder knowing that this wasn't new at all.

You wrap your arms around Nanami and pull him down to the bed right on top of you, feeling how he slightly jumped at this. Though he was surprised at the action, he felt himself relax when his head met your chest, realizing a groan out of how nice your body felt after such a long day.

"Welcome home, honey." You whispered, your hand rubbing circles on his back.

"S'tired, soo tired." He mumbled against you, using his hand to rub his eyes as if that would get rid of his fatigue.

However, it was hard considering how he felt like he might drift off at any moment. He couldn't fall asleep. Even if he was struggling to stay awake, he didn't want to sleep just yet when he was still in his work clothes.

It was awful how much this happened and every time you would react the same. How could you keep your lips from frowning when Nanami looked and sounded this tired? When his body practically flopped against yours so easily? Nanami was a hardworking person and you admired that. What you did not admire was how much he pulled over time despite hating it with his entire being, constantly doing it over and over again. But this time it looked like work was harsh on him. Sure, he had no injuries or anything like that. Regardless, it was later than the usual time he came back from overtime and he looked much weary than usual.

You sighed, wishing you could do more than just comfort him. For the time being, all you could do was offer soft caresses over his back. "I know, honey," you whispered.

His head peaks out of your chest, meeting your soft frown at him. Your concerned eyes, your hand on his back, your quiet whispers...you were worried for him, that much was obvious with how gentle you were rather than telling him off for coming home late yet again.

"Sorry. I had to work overtime to-" A yawn cuts him off, his hand muffling his lips while his mind tries to coax him into falling asleep by focusing on how he could rest just like this. Yet, he didn't want to seem rude by simply greeting you and falling asleep on you. You deserved more than just a tired man-

"Why are you apologizing?" You asked softly, cutting his line of thought before you even knew what he was thinking.

In your mind, you saw no reason for him to apologize. Work was work, he was providing just as much (definitely more) than you were and it was normal. What wasn't was how frequently his work would cut not only into their time together but also into his time to rest and relax. You could never hold something like this against him knowing that it wasn't his choice to stay longer at work. Stress, fatigue, soreness in his eyes alone, dark and sunken from how much this has happened as of late.

No. He had no reason to apologize.

But Nanami didn't see it that way. You deserved more than this...not eating alone or going to sleep alone. He wanted and needed to give you some time with him, he didn't want to be this exhausted, barely functioning person to you. Even if you didn't understand why he was apologizing, he still needed to apologize.

"I'm sorry for-"

Your hand took his hand, interrupting him as you wrapped your hand around his and sat up on the bed. With a sigh, you take his goggles from his hand and place them on the nightstand.

"Stop it. You have nothing to apologize for, got it?" You said gently, wanting to be as soft-spoken as you could to not disturb him, let alone let him think that you were angry at him. Why would you get angry over this? It wasn't his fault and you knew that tonight would be different had he had a say in whether he was going to pull overtime tonight.

Helping him sit up again, your hands slip underneath his blazer on his shoulders, rubbing down his arms to help him take it off and setting it on the other side of the bed. As the fabric left his arms, Nanami rested his head against your shoulder with a small groan, placing a hand on your arm to stop you. Sure, it felt nice to have you touch him like this, but he didn't feel like he deserved it. He left you alone for the evening and came home late. How could he let you do more for him than he deserved? His eyes might barely be open and he might be very, very tired, but he couldn't make you feel obligated to help him.

"Darling," he mumbled, sounding unconvincing of pushing your help away, "you don't need to. I..." He sighs, feeling that slight burn in his eyes with a blink, "...I don't want you to see me like this."

He felt very worn-out, slower than usual as if gravity weighed twice as much tonight. Even so, he didn't want you to think you had to help him. He didn't like this side of him where you couldn't lean on him, it made him feel like a burden to you when he had already interrupted your sleep.

But he was met with your head leaning against his, trying to comfort him further as you saw him frown.

If there was something everyone agreed about Nanami it's that he is a selfless person. Someone always wanting to help others, protect them, put them before himself. It was actually one of the many sides that made you fall for him. So it was easy to understand why he was so self-conscious at that moment. It was a juxtaposition of the man he usually is: capable, sufficient, and reliable. Qualities that his fatigue was preventing him from being, but that didn't mean he had to be ashamed of it.

"I wanna help you though."

"You're already doing more than enough by welcoming me home. You should be telling me off for coming so late, not comforting me like this." He explained, his eyelids heavy from the way your warm cheeks touched his temple.

You shook your head, hands coming to his neck and tracing over his tie for her fingers to quickly undo it.

"I've told you already, you have nothing to feel bad for and I have nothing to be angry about." You pulled on his tie, wrapping it around your hand until it was rolled up and then placing it close to his blazer on the bed. "You're tired and overworked. I can't let you do things on your own when I can help you, especially when I want to help my love."

Nanami lifts his head out of your shoulder, trying to straighten up in his seat as you stripped him of the many layers that weighed him down. As much as he tried to make it seem otherwise, you were right—he was tired and overworked, far more than what he could handle. With you so set on helping him, the least he could do was stop his nagging and let you help. It was a bit embarrassing that work has rendered him this weak, not from some kind of injuries but simply because of how body felt ready to shut down at any moment.

Here he was—a grown man of his age acting like a helpless child. He would've protested again had it not been for how devoted towards helping him, towards him. You might be doing what any caring spouse would do, but to him it felt like giving him a small break he didn't deserve.

His lips still find it in them to curl in the slightest as he says tiredly, "thank you, love."

"Happy to help," you answered.

And there it was, that beautiful smile that melted away your frown once he gave in to your aid.

It was silent for a few moments in the room except from the click-click sound after you unclasped his suspenders from his trousers, setting them on the side. There was little to no light, only the nightstand lamp and whatever else managed to slip in from the window, with him tired and you undressing him as your hands slid to his shirt.

Careful to not startle him, your fingers undo his buttons and reveal more and more of his skin with each. Once they were all undone, you slipped your hands underneath his shirt, feeling a few bumps in the way that made you pinch your brows together confused. It wasn't until you started to slide the shirt off his arms that the bumps made sense—they were actually dents that ran front to back on his torso. Though they didn't seem serious, it makes your lips pout.

"I didn't know you had these."

Nanami's eyes look away from you and down to his own chest where your eyes focused on. In all honesty, he rarely acknowledged these—they were just marks left by his suspenders, a small price to pay from his daily attire. Sure, they were tight enough, restrictive enough to leave a mark on his body, but he didn't see any reason to mention them.

"It's nothing, love. They don't hurt at all."

Despite his assurance, your eyes seemed glued to his body. They were just a result of constantly wearing suspenders to a pretty physical job, no pain would come from them. Yet, seeing these marks meant more than just that. It was about the amount of time for these marks to set in the first place, making you realize just how long and much his workday was. Hours that, if they left this kind of mark in his body, were enough to lead to this exhaustion you could see in him.

That's when your fingers begin to think on their own. Your hand comes back up to his shoulder, but rather than resting your palm over it, your fingers graze over the marks and delicately follow down the path on his chest.

As your mind lets your hands do as you wish, Nanami could feel how worried you were from your touch alone. It was gentle but it had that hint of caution, as if too much pressure would make it uncomfortable for him. It made him feel vulnerable. He could see your mind running with all these thoughts from his marks alone. You knew he hated overtime, you knew he was stubborn to work despite his better judgment, and you both knew he needed to rest.

These marks reminded him how much he worked on a day alone.

These marks showed you how hard he worked alone for the two of you.

Underneath your fingertips, Nanami allowed himself to savor your touch further by closing his eyes for a second, unable to prevent the sigh that escapes his lips that makes you snap from your trance and look up at him. Though you knew it was best to hurry up and help him get ready for bed, something within her sparked at his marks. Your free hand decides to follow the other’s steps and comes up to the other side of Nanami’s body, roaming gently down the marks his suspenders have left behind. Soft, delicate, and gentle touches, but most importantly, loving touches.

Nanami stays still, letting you graze all over his body as he swallows down his self-conscious thoughts. It tickled a little to have your hands go so slow and so lightly over his skin, making his muscles tense underneath them. Despite that, he didn’t want your hands to stop, so he doesn't make any effort to as his eyes follow how your hands move down his body and earn a ghost of a moan from him. He couldn’t help himself when his exhaustion made it hard to think much, but you were just being so patient and caring and loving and…and so many other things that made him thank whatever deity that allowed him to be with you, that allowed him to have you as his everything.

Your hands come to a halt at his moan, your heart picking up a pace. At first, you worried the touch was actually hurting or unsettling to him when his body tensed, interpreting his moan as a groan. But when you looked up and saw how his eyes were glued on you and your hands moving across his body as if he wanted to take it all in rather than push you away, you let your hands rest on him and slide back up to his shoulders. You got a little carried away and you didn’t want to tire him any more.

“You do so much for us…for me.” You start with a whisper, “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, Kento.”

And see, hearing you say that makes absolute nonsense to him. It catches him off guard.

Your eyes meet, him shaking off his exhaustion for a second to open his a bit more, to actually be able to look at you. Despite how your hands and eyes roam up and down his body, Nanami feels no lust or desire under your touch. It was careful, sweet, just as he has come to expect from you whenever you caught him in this state.

This was just his spouse’s stare, you were his spouse. It wasn’t a matter of whether or not you deserved it (you did, that’s simply out of the question). He wanted to do all this, whatever he could for you. He would sacrifice so much just so you wouldn’t have to worry or work hard. As he stares back at you, eyes looking up and down at his beautiful darling before him, he smiled softly. Though your words made no sense to him, they were a reminder of how thankful he was that you worried, that you were thankful for him like he was for you. A reminder of how much he loved you and hoped that, though he didn’t say it out loud enough, you would still know that without a doubt in between the lines…

“You deserved it.” He answers back.

You chuckled. Of course he would think that and smile like this was nothing. Yet, there was something about his smile. You hated how tired it looked, how tired he looked. But when he smiled right now, softly telling her one thing to mean another…You shook your head, shifting your hands on his bare shoulders to rub circles over his skin and soothe whatever tension you could feel there.

“You’re the one working to the point of exhaustion while I fall asleep before you come home. You do much more for me than I do for you.”

“You do a lot for me,” Nanami started, his brows pinching slightly when you kept discrediting yourself, “you work around the house, keep the place nice…you’re taking care of me even right now after I woke you up. You do plenty for me. This is not up for debate.” He chuckles, not even letting you argue about how little you did for him because that wasn’t the case.

Your gaze softness as your hands come up to his jaw before running your fingers down to his chin. Even through that tension and obvious lack of energy, he still found it in him to appreciate her, to be adamant about her contributions and have her see them. Silently, your eyes flash that gratitude of him to him, admiring each feature on his face.

It was a soft touch, the kind of touch that makes you wonder if it was skin to skin or a feather to skin. It was a quiet but loud way of letting him know how much you appreciate him back. The kind of love and fondness that he needed after another shift.

“I’ll always see it that way, you know?” Nanami adds, “It’s for us, so we can be comfortable. But most of all, so I can spoil you like you deserve it.”

You smile at him, unable to keep it in yourself to kiss him so you do. You lean in to press a quick and soft peck on his lips, taking a step further to remind him of how much he meant to you. You lean back, careful to not over do your kiss when he is this tired. But rest assured, that a small kiss such as that one was enough for Nanami to feel the weight of it, making him feel loved.

“Let’s get you off of these, yeah?” You whispered, your hands sliding off the marks from his suspenders, though you made a mental note to show them some extra love when he was much more in the mood.

You kissed his cheek and readjusted how you were sitting on the bed, going back to the reality that it was quite late, he was exhausted, and you both could use the rest. Shaking off those thoughts, you were set back on your original mission to help him get ready for bed. Your hands go down to his belt, carefully undoing it and pulling it off the loops of his trousers.

But it proved to be much harder to shake off those thoughts from earlier when his body was on display like this, especially as you helped him slide off said trousers after putting his belt aside with the rest of his garments. It wasn’t just the suspenders’ marks, but also his muscles coupled with the feeling of his skin and hair against her hands that made Nanami shake his head with a chuckle as he called out your name.

“You’re doing it again, love.” He wasn’t oblivious to the effect he was having on you, how he was getting you going, as he softly mumbled your name softly.

“Doing what?” You asked with a smirk and a raised eyebrow, trying to play innocent. After all, it was merely a split second you were staring, right?

“Staring at me.” Nanami smiled wider, leaning forward now that this reaction from you gave him a small boost of energy, all just to tease you. “Are you admiring your husband, dear?”

You knew he was just teasing, especially when he was pulling such a pet name by the end of it and leaned forward towards you. You weren’t blind either, apparently you weren’t the only one enjoying a show with your spouse as the star of it, not when his eyes followed your hand and slowly drifted to other parts of you.

“If I was, I’m sure I wasn’t the only one, am I?” You teased right back, looking at him with that smirk still on your face without moving an inch away from him and in fact, deciding to double it down by resting a hand on his thighs.

“A man can’t love the person he married anymore?” Nanami chuckled, silently taking everything in. Your body, your face, your voice…nothing from you was not appealing, you were truly perfect in his eyes.

His answer makes you laugh. You took a small breath, hand sliding off his thigh and across the bed until it finds his own hand, resting yours on top of his as your gaze returns to his. A smile comes to your lips, your heart starting to feel lighter and faster with every beat. Tease or not, Nanami was a natural at making you feel like this.

“A husband can definitely love their spouse.” You replied, your voice having a slight tease in it as well.

“Especially when they are so beautiful.” Nanami adds, his smile growing soft as he leaned against your forehead and closed his eyes. He still felt tired, but he really liked this moment with you right now, feeling as if it was making up for the time he’s been away from you. So he wanted to stay in it a little longer.

“I see, so that’s why you were starting too.” You whispered, though there is the hint of a giggle in your voice that Nanami is able to pick on, going as far as being able to hear your smile.

“Yeah, that is why.” Nanami sighs, laying back on the bed and resting his head on your thighs, groaning softly once he feels his back meet the bed. He could feel how your hands immediately found his hair, gently combing his blond locks with your fingers.

It was comfortable, he didn’t want to move. He wanted to fall asleep just like this. Not yet though. He still wanted to be with you, feel you like this. Even if the two of you weren’t talking much and he was tired out of his mind, you being here and letting him be like this on your lap was enough to calm him further. You being here made him calm.

“I’ve been so busy.” Nanami mumbles, taking a deep breath as his eyes closed for a second.

“It’s okay.” You assured him. “It’s work.”

But there was something in your voice that didn’t match your words. Nanami knew what it was—how much you wanted him to cut back on overtime for his sake. But your words felt as if you were trying to let him know that you wouldn’t hold it against him how his work cuts into his time with you, that he didn’t need to feel that kind of guilt from you. He knew he needed to set a firmer boundary with work so he could put you first like he wanted to, rather than making you worry like this.

Just imagining you falling asleep, waiting for him to come back only for him to come long after, was painful. He didn’t want that for you anymore.

He shakes his head, his hand coming up to yours that was losing its fingers across his hair, stopping your movements. No matter how many times you assured him, how much you tried to be understanding, he didn’t want this to drag on. Work was work, true. But it shouldn’t be overtaking his life, be more important than you were to him. You came before that, and anything for that matter, it wasn’t up to debate. Especially when you were so patient and caring to him despite how neglectful he can be.

“I shouldn’t…” He sighed, taking some time to form over his words. He didn’t want, let alone deserve, so many passes and he wanted to own up to all those times he had to come home late. “Don’t worry so much about me, please,” it’s what he ends up saying.

His words are met with a soft squeeze of your hand after you turn your hand around to be holding his, your free hand coming down to rest around his chest. You could see what he meant with that.

Don’t wait for me.

I can handle myself.

You don’t have to forgive me so easily.

Truth be told, you knew other people would grow irritated at their husbands coming home late, scolding them for the time they finally arrive and leading to distrust. But being married to a jujutsu sorcerer like him…it was a different case. You trusted him with this job, knowing how much more fulfilling it was than working corporate; trusted him to be careful and learned the kind of things he had to deal with. It was a dangerous job, it was exhausting, and you wonder how he can even ask you to not worry. To not worry about Nanami was simply against your marriage vows. You couldn’t do that.

“You’re my husband. I’m supposed to worry about you.”

“Just trust that I’ll be fine.” Nanami said softly, a small sigh leaving his lips as he looked up at you.

He could see that concern in your eyes. Though it is nice to have someone who worries about him, there’s still that annoying part in him that makes him feel guilty for making you worry in the first place. Yet, he knew that he couldn’t blame you. No matter how many times he insisted on you not waiting up for him or on tending his wounds, he knew you would still worry about him. In a way, you both just wanted to do more for the other—you felt like he did a lot for you and he felt like he didn’t do enough for you.

“I’m tired, love,” he mumbles, rubbing his eyes with his free hand, “let’s not fight…not tonight.”

“It’s not fighting,” you let go of his hand, letting it slip to his cheek. You knew better than to try and argue when he was this tired, let alone when you knew he had the best intentions even if he dismissed himself so often. “I do trust you, but I still need to care for the person I love so much..”

Nanami chuckled, looking up at you with a tired smile. As he took a deep breath, he could feel how lucky and thankful he was at this moment. Even if a part of him tried to weigh him down with this guilt over how things seemed to be in his mind, you somehow knew how to show him the reality of things. He wasn’t neglectful like his mind was telling him, not when he was trying to peel his eyes open just to spend more time with you. You weren’t forgiving because he was your husband, but because you trusted him enough with your heart. You weren’t worried over him because he came late, you worried because you loved him.

Before he can even answer, you gently pull him off your lap and lay his head back down on the bed. You stand up, patting his shoulder.

“I’ll get your pajamas.” You smile at him, the kind of smile that says don’t worry about a thing, before you turn to his dresser.

Nanami thanks you, sitting up on the bed and stretching his arms and back. The room quiets down, neither of you saying a word as you come back with his night garments and placing them by his side to let him put them on. Not yet done, you take all of his work clothes and turn back to the dresser to put his clothes away while he changes. Some are set aside for the laundry basket, others are hung back up, and others tucked away in the drawers.

Once done with that task, you turn back to head to the bed, laying down underneath the sheets like you were long before he came back for work. He was a bit slow in putting his pajamas on to no one’s surprise since he might as well fall asleep right then and there, but eventually he lays down next to you after turning off the lights, his body facing yours. You wrap an arm around him, pulling yourself closer, sighing when he does the same by rolling on his back and letting you rest your head on his chest to which you happily do.

“I’m surprised you lasted so long without dropping unconscious onto the bed.” You said softly, a tinge of a tease in your voice.

Nanami chuckles, a yawn following soon after as fatigue starts to get to him after god knows how many hours of working.

“So am I. I’ve been like that for hours, honestly.” He pulls you a bit closer, his hand gently grazing up and down your arm. A touch that made your body melt into his body. “But it was worth it. I got to spend more time with you, even if I only had half a brain to see you.”

You hummed, your head turning up to look at him before pressing a kiss on his shoulder. You decided to not say anything, wanting him to get that rest he not only needed but also deserved. That doesn’t mean his words don’t make your heart flutter, even as he says them in that hoarse voice from how tired he was, it made them feel much more softer that he pushed himself to let her know that.

You lift up the covers and let yourself get comfortable with him as your pillow and you in his arms, the two of you cuddling in the quiet and silent room. A few seconds pass, then minutes, and you were sure he had already fallen asleep as evident by his deep breath that made your head rise and fall with his chest, his heart serving as your personal lullaby. Knowing that you had done everything you could for him in this moment, you let yourself close your eyes and begin to return to your sleep from earlier.

Though before you could truly fall into slumber, you feel his head lean against yours, a soft kiss placed on the top of your head that makes your heart beat for him, feeling safe in his arms as he manages to finally answer back to you from earlier:

“I love you too, dear. Thank you…for everything you do.”

Nanami would’ve said more, he probably wanted to have it not been from how his words slurred as his body was finally claimed over by that sleep he pushed off for far too long. After all, now that he finally got his fill of you, he could now rest properly.

[iridescent-petrichor]

silence feels better with you, chapter five

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Reader

Warnings: JJ gets drunk and emotional

Words: 2.1K

A/N: hihi i'm back!! i was mostly done with this chapter and then my computer broke so i couldn't finish it up until a few days ago but it's finally here and now there's only one chapter left!!

Previous Chapter - Next Chapter

It was six months post-breakup.

Kie stood in the middle of your bedroom, slowly inspecting the room, her gaze eventually falling on a dresser drawer you’d left slightly open. Taking a few steps to get to it, she pulled out a few old envelopes. Notes JJ had written you during the relationship. Little things, usually one sentence long scrawled on a torn-off piece of paper that he’d shoved in your locker. ‘You look cute today.’ ‘You coming to JB’s later?’ Simple things that made you smile.

“You still have these?” She asked, holding one up for you to read. ‘This class is boring. Wanna ditch?’

You stared longingly at the note, forgetting yourself for a moment. Kiara sighed, regretting grabbing the note as she shoved it back into the drawer.

“Sorry.”

You shook your head, forcing a smile onto your face. “It’s alright. I don’t even look at them anymore.”

It was a lie. You both knew it, but neither wanted to acknowledge it aloud. They were almost like a nighttime ritual for you at this point, reading a few until your heart ached then reluctantly shoving them away and falling into a restless sleep.

“Well,” Kiara gave you a sad smile, reaching out to gently grab your wrist, pulling you towards the bed. “This is a strictly boy-free night. C’mon.”

You let her pull you onto your bed, sitting beside her. She leaned over to turn off the light, pulling the covers over the both of you and giving you one last look to make sure you were okay.

Once she decided you were fine, she settled into the bed, shutting her eyes. You sighed to yourself, deciding to do the same thing, trying to let sleep overtake you.

-

You were awoken by the loud vibrating of your phone against your bedside table. With a frustrated groan, you sat up in bed, glancing at Kie. She’s still half asleep, though starting to slowly blink her eyes open.

“What the hell?” She muttered, rolling over in bed to face you.

You grabbed your phone, not bothering to look at the number as you answered the call.

“Hello?” Your voice was still groggy from sleep, rustling the bed sheets a little as you sat up.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” John B’s voice rang out on the other end. You stiffened, straightening up in bed. Kiara tilted her head at you.

“Uh, just a little bit. What’s up?” Kiara tugged at your shirt, giving you a look, mouthing what’s going on?

“So I know this really isn’t your priority or anything anymore, but JJ’s really fucked up.” Even his name still made you freeze up. Shit.

John B let out a sigh, sounding just as exhausted as you felt.

“He’s really drunk and he won’t stop asking for you. Me and Pope have been trying to deal with him all night but he’s just gotten worse. Can you just come deal with him? Just for tonight?”

“I’m with Kie right now-” She perked up slightly at her own name, tugging at your shirt sleeve again.

You heard shuffling on the other line, sitting patiently waiting for a response.

“Hey!” The shuffling finally stopped when Pope’s voice rang in your ear, full of frustration. “Can you please come deal with him?”

You rolled your eyes, leaning back in the bed. “Pope-”

“He’s being insufferable right now, okay? Everything we do or say makes him talk about you and I can barely understand what he’s trying to say half the time. You’re coming to get him, end of story.”

You didn’t have time to protest before Pope hung up on you.

“Was that Pope?” Kiara asked tiredly when you put your phone back on the bedside table.

“And John B.” You muttered, reluctantly getting out of bed in spite of Kiara’s sleepy protests. “They need me to deal with JJ.”

“Seriously?” Kiara sat up, fully awake now. “Why can’t they deal with him?”

“He got too drunk.” You grabbed your keys, sighing.

“When does he not?” She threw the covers off herself, starting to get out of bed.

“He’s asking for me.”

“When does he not?”

You hesitated, casting a glance in her direction. There was an unspoken conversation between the two of you, and Kiara instantly realized there was no arguing with you.

-

The drive to John B’s wasn’t long, but your nerves felt fried by the time you arrived. You had a white knuckle grip on the steering wheel the whole way, barely blinking as you stared out at the dark road ahead of you.

When you finally walked into the Chateau, Pope and John B were trying to keep JJ from getting up off the couch as he mumbled something incoherent.

“Thank god.” Pope sighed, hanging his head low.

“Can you get him into the guest room?” John B asked, visibly relaxing at the sight of you. He let go of JJ long enough that he sat up, immediately trying to get to his feet once he saw you.

Part of you thought JJ had been doing okay after the breakup, that maybe you’d been burdening him every time you called him for help after months of not speaking. Every time you’d seen him he looked at least relatively put together. Tired, but put together.

This was something unrecognizable.

His hair was a mess and his eyes were red and puffy from crying despite the growing smile on his face at the sight of you. There were dirt stains on his shirt and shorts as well as wet spots on his shirt where he spilled one of his many drinks. His steps were unsteady as he approached you.

“Hey.” He reached forward, tugging you toward him by the front of your shirt. “You look pretty.”

Your heart sped up a bit, trying to force back a smile. “Let’s get you to bed.”

After about five grueling minutes of struggling to get JJ into the guest room, he collapsed onto the bed with a grunt. He looked up at you, bleary-eyed.

“You look so pretty.”

You stiffened, trying to calm your beating heart with a forced smile.

“C’mon, under the covers.” You said gently, only to be met with drunken protests.

When you finally managed to get JJ’s combat boots off and helped him under the covers, he was still staring at you, a lazy grin painting his face.

“You’re here.”

“Yeah.” You whispered, grabbing a water bottle from the nightstand and handing it to him. “Here, drink.”

He took it, sitting up slightly and downing it in one go, grinning up at you like he’d impressed you as he set the empty bottle down. It made you smile despite yourself, leaning him back against the pillows so he would lie down.

“You staying?” He asked quietly, instinctively reaching a hand out to tug at the hem of your shirt.

At your silence, he frowned.

“Please?”

It was surprising how easily you caved when JJ begged you to do something. With a tight smile, you nodded, taking a seat beside him on the bed. Wordlessly, he helped pull the covers over you.

The only sound that filled the room was the shuffling of the bedsheets as JJ shifted closer to you. You looked down at your lap, entirely aware of JJ’s gaze on you.

“I missed you.” He whispered into the silence of the room and god, as if that wasn’t the biggest understatement of his life.

He straightened up in his spot on the bed, trying to get you to look at him.

“I miss you.”

He waited for you to respond with bated breath, trying to gauge your reaction when you finally looked at him.

“JJ-” The tone in your voice made him tense.

“No.” Despite how drunk he was, it seemed he was determined to talk this through with you. His hand fell to your arm as he tried to get you to listen to him. “I can’t- I can’t run away again. I keep just-” He let out a bitter laugh. “John B’s on my ass about talking to you. Says I’m spiraling.”

It didn’t take a genius to see that he very clearly was just by the bags under his bloodshot eyes and the way he won’t stop fidgeting, running his hands through his hair or reaching into the pocket of his cargo shorts to fiddle with his lighter.

“Anyways,” He inhaled shakily, forcing a smile. “You’re here.”

You tried to smile back. “I’m here.”

He shifted so he was facing you straight on. “I need to talk to you.”

A quiet laugh escaped you. “You’ve been talking, JJ.”

Your eyes widened slightly when he put a hand over your mouth, silencing you. “No- okay- I’ve been really stupid. Like, really stupid. I didn’t wanna break up with you.”

The mention of your breakup made your shoulders slump slightly.

“I loved you. I still do, I really really do. I know I ruined things, believe me, I know.”

“Why did you leave?” JJ instantly swallowed his words at your whispered plea, unable to look you in the eye for a moment.

“Because you’re too good for me.” He had to force the words out, his mouth feeling like it was full of chalk.

You stared at him, tilting your head slightly in confusion, your gaze softening.

“Don’t look at me like that.” He found himself distracted by you again as his hand found your jawling, his thumb rubbing along your cheek. “You scare the hell out of me sometimes.”

You couldn’t help but lean into JJ’s touch, sighing softly. “Why’s that?”

“Cause I don’t know what made you choose me.” His voice was soft, unsure. “You’re so beautiful and smart and- you have your shit together and- you’re actually gonna go somewhere in life. I just didn’t wanna drag you down.”

You frowned. “Drag me down?”

“Yes, drag you down. Are you kidding?” JJ scoffed. “I see the way people look at you when you’re with me. Like I’m some charity case.”

“I don’t look at you like that.”

JJ pulled back slightly, letting go of you in favor of running a hand through his hair. “I know. Jesus, I know. I just don’t get it. Why do you love me? Why did you love me?”

Before you could answer, he shook his head. “No. Sorry, don’t answer that. It’s my turn to talk. I need to- okay, I know I’m drunk and not making any sense but please let me talk.”

He took your silence as permission to continue.

“I love you so much. Of course I didn’t want to lose you. Of course I didn’t want to lose the one good thing going for me, okay? But- I knew I was dragging you down. I could feel it. So- so I ended it before you could.”

Your heart ached at the pain in his voice. You’d always known JJ was insecure, but you could never get used to the way he talked about himself. “JJ, I wasn’t going to- I would never-”

“I know. I know, okay? I do now, I just- fuck.” JJ reached for you, absentmindedly fiddling with your hoodie strings. “I ruined everything.”

You sighed softly, running your thumb along his cheek. The gentle touch almost made him flinch.

“You didn’t.” You tried to say, but he just forced out a wry laugh.

“I lost you.”

You frowned, trying to calm him down. “I’m right here, aren’t I?”

Slowly, hesitantly, JJ looked up at you, a barely restrained desperation in his eyes. You felt his hand slide its way up to your shoulder, clinging to you.

“I love you.” His voice rang out into the quiet of the room.

You blinked away tears, trying so hard to stay composed. His other hand found its way to your arm.

“Tell me you still love me.” He whispered, clutching your arm a little tighter, trying to pull an answer from you that he knew he didn’t deserve.

Your mouth felt dry, a sickness rising in your throat as you gently laid him back down in the bed. As much as you wanted to answer him, this was not a conversation you wanted to have while he was still drunk out of his mind. “You need to get some sleep, JJ.”

JJ didn’t say a word, letting you move him with ease. You laid down beside him, resting your head on his chest like you’d done a million times before, in much better circumstances. He wrapped an arm around you, shutting his eyes tightly, trying to hold onto the emotions threatening to make him explode.

“Sometimes I don’t think I’m meant for happiness.” He whispered, not looking up at you.

You tensed, shifting slightly so you could look up at him. By the time you could even find the words to respond, he was already asleep.

[wanderingwriter87]

"I don't suppose you imagined it like this."

Julian looks a little puzzled for a moment, then shrugs. "I don't think I imagined this at all," he confesses. "So I'm not sure I had any expectations one way or the other."

Garak laughs. It's a sad, hoarse little sound.

"I suppose it's a uniquely Cardassian trait, then - fantasizing about the rousing arguments one night have with the object of one's affections."

Julian offers a lopsided smile. "Maybe not entirely. This just isn't the sort of thing I enjoy fighting about. I don't think you do either."

Garak humphs quietly. "What I enjoy is of little consequence, it would seem."

Julian flops over on his back. "Relationships are just like this sometimes. Which, incidentally, is exactly why I never imagined you'd be caught dead in one."

"I can't quite believe you ever saw me as unobtainable."

"Well, believe it."

It cuts too close to a painful topic, and they both fall silent.

"We both want the same thing," Garak says, finally. "As you're always saying."

"Same team," Julian agrees softly.

"And yet."

"And yet?"

"On certain things, we cannot seem to come to a consensus."

"We're from different worlds, Garak. It's understandable that we get into these tiffs sometimes."

"I think I rather preferred it when the stakes were lower."

"You don't mean that."

Garak hears the twinge of pain and hates himself for saying it. "I only meant - when we were friends, it was easier."

"Of course it was easier. We could walk away when things got too intense, and just steer clear of anything too hurtful in the future. But we're building a life together now. We don't always have that option anymore."

"I know."

"And I know the stakes are higher, but it's not... I don't exactly have one foot out the door."

"But there are limits."

"Of course there are limits. I hope you have limits, too."

An uncomfortable silence.

"Garak - this isn't going to work if we're not on even footing."

"I have limits," Garak snaps. And regrets.

It feels endless, inescapable. This cycle of pain, lashing out, and guilt. In his darker moments he thinks his whole relationship with the doctor, from that first moment in the replimat, he's simply been stringing regret to regret with only a few moments of blissful respite in-between.

He has placed Julian on a pedestal - the beautiful, brilliant, compassionate doctor. The one who always forgives him. He is only now beginning to understand that his actions have impact on the seemingly untouchable man, even when they seem to slide right off his elegant back.

It is a difficult thing to learn so late. But Tain, for all his faults, didn't raise a quitter.

"I am sorry," Garak says, very quietly.

Julian's hand flexes beside his. "I know."

"You...are the only person of consequence in my life. If you asked me to go with you, anywhere -"

"I wouldn't -"

"But if you did. I need you to understand, Julian. If you did, I would go."

Julian sighs, arches his head back into the pillow like he's trying to disappear into it. "I'm tired. Please, can we just-"

"You don't believe me."

"Elim, please."

Garak balls his hands into fists until his claws dig into his palms.

"I'm sorry," he says again.

"I know," Julian says, sounding more exhausted than ever.

The chirring of the nighttime insects is the loudest Garak has heard, since the Fire.

"Come here," Julian says, finally.

Garak slides closer, takes his place in the crook of the younger man's arm.

"I love you," Julian says.

Garak swallows. It still takes an effort. "I love you."

In time, as the night wanes, they sleep.

[kazzy-boo-baby]

⚡️Thor Odinson Caregiver Headcannons⚡️

⚡️- He always, ALWAYS gives cuddles to his little. Bedtime? Nighttime cuddles. Waking up from sleep? Morning cuddles. Feeling sad? He'll give you cuddles and tell you stories. Basically, cuddles is the number one answer to making his little feel better

⚡️-He's not strict at all! All he asks is that his little stays on their best behavior and tries their best to be good.

⚡️-Thor gives out rewards to his little all the time. It doesn't matter what time of day or what his little even did in the first place, he feels that every good action needs a reward.

"You did amazing with dressing yourself, young one! How about I give you a lollipop as a treat?"

⚡️- When taking his little to Asgard, he always loves to show them off. Thor is always so proud of his little no matter what happens, so showing them off is something he takes prides in.

⚡️- Thor loves to play games with his little, whatever they want to play he'll go along with it. But he does have a favorite game he likes to play: Peek a Boo!

⚡️-Thor always takes his little on missions with him. Now, that sounds dangerous. But Thor always makes sure that his little is in a safe area like a hotel or the Avengers jet until the mission is over with. He just can't bear to leave his little alone for too long.. it makes him nervous.

⚡️-Thor throws his little into the air, safely of course. It's his way of playing around or teasing his little one. He'll throw you up and catch you with a silly face.

"I caught you, baby! How about we go for another throw, huh?"

⚡️-He's very, very protective of his little. Thor does his best to make sure that his little never gets hurt emotionally or physically. For instance, whenever they go out he always makes sure his little holds his hand or carries his little himself.

⚡️-On the rare occasion that Thor lets you get babysat by someone, of course you'll get watched by his brother Loki!

⚡️-Thor always have a backpack of things for his little when he's on missions with them. Some of the things he packs are:

•A blanket

•A pacifier

•Snacks/Juice boxes

•An extra pair of clothes/pull ups (Incase accidents happen)

•One of his own hoodies in case his little misses him and needs something to comfort them

•A few bandaids

And that's it for Thor Caregiver Headcannons! (He's my fav, I couldn't help but do one for him lol)

Let me know who you want to see on my page next!

[icycoldninja]

Fluffcember #29 (Astarion x Reader)

I'll protect you

It was a chilly, quiet night; the stars twinkled dimly in the night sky, the cool nighttime air was quiet, save for the faint hooting of an owl somewhere in the distance. You were curled up on your bedroll, in your tent, blankets wrapped tightly around your figure in an attempt to stave off the cold outside. You rolled over in your sleep, but soon jolted awake. Someone was approaching your tent. You opened one eye and stared at the curtains, waiting to see who would enter. Pretty soon, the silhouette of a man was visible outside the curtains; that man slid a slender, pale hand through the gap and pushed the curtains aside. "Darling, are you awake?" Sighing, you sat up, rubbing your eyes. "I am now. Jesus, Astarion, for a rogue, you suck at sneaking. I could hear you from a mile away." Astarion smiled, a low, rumbling chuckle resounding from his throat. "My apologies, darling. I just..." He sighed, clasping his hands behind his back. "I was wondering if I could stay with you tonight." Your eyes widened; eyebrows nearly shot off your head. "Stay with me...? Uhh...sure. But why?" Astarion sighed softly, crossing over and taking a seat by your side. You tossed part of your blanket over his lap so he wouldn't feel cold in that thin cotton tunic he was always wearing at camp. "I...I had a nightmare." He finally confessed, pulling his knees up to his chest. You nodded, sympathetic to his problem. "I'm sorry. Want to talk about it?" Astarion flashed you a fake smile, one he was accustomed to putting on whenever he felt upset or sad, one that soon dropped as soon as he looked at you and saw his sincere you were. "There's not really much to talk about," He admitted, sighing. "I dreamed of Cazador finding me...of Cazador..." He sucked in a long breath and let it out slowly. "Of him capturing me and dragging me back." He turned to you, an expression of terror and sadness painted across his face. You could see the fear in his eyes; how they shimmered with unshed tears.

It would have been beautiful, had it not been so heartbreaking.

You hooked an arm around his shoulder, gently pulling him close to you. Your grip was firm, solid, reassuring, but not painfully so. Astarion had been so used to forceful yanks and painful clutches; this was a welcome change of pace. He leaned into you, resting his head on your chest. "Don't worry about Cazador," You finally ventured, rubbing comforting circles into his back. "He can't hurt you anymore. Not now that I'm here." Astarion shook his head, curling his arms around himself. "He can hurt me, darling. He's everywhere. Even in my dreams." You pressed a soft kiss to his forehead, shifting your position so he was now in your lap. "He can't hurt you. I'm here. I'll protect you." This seemed to relieve Astarion, as he began to relax; tensed up muscles no longer wound so tightly. "You...you promise?" You nodded, delicately carding your fingers through his hair, feeling a strange, protective urge wash over you. "I swear it on my life. I will protect you." Astarion looked up at you, a genuine smile on his face. "Oh darling," He exclaimed, hugging you tightly. "Thank you. Thank you so much." You grinned, kissing his cheek. "You're welcome." Noticably feeling much better, Astarion slid off your lap and laid next to you, taking your hand and twining it in his. With your free hand, you adjusted the blankets so both of you were covered, then kissed his forehead one last time. "Goodnight, Astarion. I love you." Astarion smiled, squeezing your hand in response. "Love you too, darling. Now get some sleep." You shook your head, rolling over to one side so you could see him better. "You get some sleep, or meditation, or whatever it is elves do. I'll watch over you. I did just swear to protect you, you know." Astarion blinked, looking shocked for a moment. But then his expression evaporated into that dangerous little smirk and he shut his eyes compliantly. As you watched his resting figure, drowsiness began to overtake you as well. "Maybe I'll take a little nap," You reasoned with yourself, sliding into a comfortable position while keeping an arm hooked around Astarion's waist, so you could monitor him. "Just for 5 minutes..."

[cursedcupcakemaster]

This is a small series I made for nothing but enjoyment

Notes:I don't own twisted wonderland or it's characters

this is just my interpretation of how they'd be they belong to Yana Toboso and Disney Reader is gender neutral, some of these are kind of short

type; Blackberry cupcakes

How Diasomnia comforts you after a bad day

Malleus

He'd know something was up once you didn't show up for at least 3 of your usual nighttime meet ups

Malleus would go looking for you, just a trifle upset until he heard a sound coming from your room

You were sobbing your heart out

There was piles of assignments on your desk, and he remembered you've been running quite a few errands for the headmaster

If there was one thing Malleus couldn't stand it was seeing his beloved cry

Malleus knew something had to be done and the next night his plan would be put into action

Sebek had given you a message from Malleus to meet in your usual spot

When you were walking along the way you heard a beautiful sound of a cello being played and followed it until you found malleus

He smiled at you continuing his performance and you could swear you've never seen something more ethereal than this

Once it was finished he looked up at you and explained he merely wanted to cheer you up

He soon led you away to the diasomnia dorm to enjoy an ice cream together

Malleus knows you will have more bad days than this but he'll be ready to make it better

Lilia

Lilia knew immediately from your expresion in class

Lilia has been around the block quite a few times including seeing people with a rather concerning bit of sadness

The Bat fae knows he needs to bring you out of your sour mood and he knows just how

Lilia would first shock you by appearing in front of you saying boo whilst upside down

Lilia would tell you some dumb jokes to make you laugh

After maybe the third or fourth one you really can't not laugh

Lilia would likely take you on a little midnight flight with his familiars and afterwards help you back to your room happy to see you in a less sour mood

Lilia treasures your feelings even if he doesn't know how long you'll stay together

Sebek

Okay so he didn't know at first because he was preoccupied with tending to his duties

When Sebek finally had a moment his phone had been flooded with texts from you and each one was more and more distressed

Sebek went looking for you and fast when he got to your dorm, your roommates gave him a sour look but let him pass

He felt guilty hearing your sobs and knocked , you let him in before hugging him tightly

According to your texts your week was getting worse each day, more school work another overblot and on top of that Sebek hadn't been there

He rubbed your back and proposed that perhaps you needed a cup of tea to soothe your nerves, so you agreed

Sebek took great care into making you some herbal tea that would at least give you back some of your energy and some snacks

Sebek promised after that he would try to make more time so you wouldn't have a similar situation so soon he doesn't like his partner being in such dire strain

Silver

Silver would have likely been told by Lilia about your misfortune you'd been dealing with for days

Silver felt quite bad since he hadn't been able to help you

But now now you had his full attention so he went looking for you

He found you eating lunch by yourself before he sat beside you

Silver told you,you could tell him everything that was wrong if that might make you feel better

So he listened to you talk about everything that had been messing with your life including being way too busy to even sleep much

Silver would bring you around to the school stables helping you onto the horse for a nice ride around the place

Afterwards Lilia would go looking for you and Silver after it had been a couple hours only to find the sweetest sight you two were napping together chuckling the elderly fae took a picture before leaving you two to rest

[whirlwindimagines]

So, I have an suggestion for both Vash and Wolfwood, if you take requests (◍•ᴗ•◍)✧*。

Every night, Vash/Wolfwood had dreams, dreams of which he talks to a gorgeous s/o and falls in love with them (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡

S/o loves them back so they gave him a gift as a sigh of their love for him ✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧

(You choose which gift is for who, I'm stuck ( ╹▽╹ ))

•A ring with the words "♡forever love♡" engraved on it. Can be worn as an earring, a necklace, or a normal ring. 💍

•A hair clip with a flower on it, can be worn as a normal hair clip, or a pin on his clothes. 🌼

Meryl, Roberto, and (Wolfwood/Vash) ask about the gift, wondering who gave that to him. And (Vash/Wolfwood) blushes before telling them. (〃ﾟ3ﾟ〃)

Unknown to them all, S/o is watching a Trigun episode and saw the said scene. They see the man of/in their dreams with their gift and are blushing. (⊙.☉ )!?

[I was inspired by the isekai trop, the 'once upon a dream' song, and the soulmate Au.]

Thank you for the request! 💙 I hope you don’t mind I did headcanons for this since I thought it would be a little easier for me. Because I know myself and it would be way too long. Also apologies, this isn’t a trope I read a lot so I wasn’t too sure how to write this? Also apologies, this isn’t a trope I read a lot so I wasn’t too sure how to write this? I also unfortunately wrote this very sleep deprived so i have no idea how well this makes sense.

Vash the Stampede and Nicholas D. Wolfwood (separate) headcanons for meeting their s/o in a dream

Vash:

So you probably have never even seen Trigun before, but you’ve had these dreams of meeting Vash for a while. Honestly best dreams ever! You feel so safe and warm, and while you wake up sad missing him it still leaves such a warm feeling. 

Falling in love was easy, way too easy with him. Talking to him, getting to know him. It’s the highlight of your day, to fall asleep and be with him. (But like me) 

You are aware that soulmates are a thing, and some people have them. So you starting to think maybe this is it! Vash is so otherworldly you don’t even know if he is truly real, but you want him to be.

You two have so much fun together, talk about everything! Vash feels like he can tell you anything, and the feelings are mutual.

He’s so in love with you and it’s so obvious. Is afraid to tell you, because how would you even meet? Makes him sad if he thinks about it too long :( 

It’s on a whim you try to give him something, after so many nights of meeting you both are able to figure this isn’t so much like a traditional dream it’s simply too real for that. 

Vash gives you a necklace, it has a nice green/blue stone on it the color of his metal arm lol, and when you wake up with it still on you cry so much. You want to return the favor, so you search for something similar to match the necklace Vash gave you. You find a ring of a similar shade of green, it's perfect and you put it on a simple silver chain. 

Nighttime can't come any sooner, when you finally are able to fall asleep you are as always greeted by Vash’s soft smile. You tell him about the exciting discovery and give him the gift, he's so happy. 

Now imagine your surprise, the next day when your friend forces you to sit down and watch a show. And the man of your dreams literally shows up, with a very familiar necklace. You're pretty sure you blacked out, God you were screwed.  

Wolfwood: 

Lol Denial, You know of Trigun and Wolfwood so you just think you're having some very odd but vivid dreams. Whatever, it's kinda fun you think, he's in denial too. The two of you just hang out a lot and talk about life and everything in between.

The dreams just seem so real, but you think it's weird that you're dreaming so much about it, so you begin to really look into it. You learn about soulmates and you start to wonder what kinda sick joke is this?

But you can’t stay away for long, you try not to think about it too much as you, just enjoy the time you spend in your dreams with Wolfwood. He's an interesting guy, and you can see him letting his walls down around you. He finds it easy to let you in, and you find yourself just wanting to tell him everything about yourself.

You want to begin testing the limits of this dreamscape, you start by trying to fall asleep with something in your hands to see if it transfers over. It does! You suggest exchanging gifts, Wolfwood is still skeptical but you give him puppy dog eyes and he caves.

He will literally do anything for you if you ask, he's soft. You search for something perfect for him, and find it in some nice cufflinks! You think they’ll look nice with his suit :)

He's so awkward, and loves them but doesnt know how to emote properly. He gives you a flower brooch (Okay it took me way to long to think of the word i'm so dumb) he’s blushing the WHOLE time. 

Now imagine your big ole surprise the next time your watching Trigun and yuo notice them on Wolfwood, your so confused and your heart is racing lol

[girlygirlpeepee]

Simon Riley x Reader

Hello hi this is my first time..um writing like ever soo don’t hate me too much, but this was just the top of my head with no spelling checks or whatsoever but constructive feedback would be appreciated cause idk what I’m doing thanks :))

ALSO I LOVE THIS MAN SO ❤️💀

Tags: mentions of sex, sad towards the end kinda idk

Tonight your big beefy husband that’s wearing a tight neatly fitted shirt with his huge arms comfortably wrapped around the shirt you bought him, basically eye-fucking you from across your friends home welcoming party.

As he downs his bourbon he stalks his way over to where you’re stood in a gorgeous sleek dress that shows off your curves, he loves so much.

You could feel it. You could feel it since you scurried off to chat and drink with your girls, his eyes, his presence, his existence made you feel safe and alive. Heck that’s why you married him.

“Excuse us” Ah there it is, his intrusion you didn’t even realise how he silently managed to disrupt your thoughts (one of his strengths as your husband I guess) excusing yourself and rolling your eyes you finally turn to him and- Fuck. That’s what you want him to do to you. But nonetheless you snap back to reality “what is it Simon” .

“Dance with me”

What is he playing at you wonder, your Simon would never in a million years dance, let alone in front of people. His hands slither around your waist pushing yourself chest to chest with your husband while you stare at him with confusion.

“Simon stop”

“No”

“Simo-“

“If there was no one here I would fuck you so hard right now” he whispers, you let out a quite gasp, not wanting to listen. “Watch it Riley, flirting will get you nowhere” you stare at him with surprising confidence considering what he just revealed “I wanna bury my head and eat your beautiful sweet cunt for hours” “ make you scream my name over and over” whispering into your ear. Now you barely noticed how heavy your breathing has become, but still trying to keep composure at your friends house you retaliate.

“Well you can kiss your thoughts away because you’re not getting me tonight” you whisper to his lips.

“Are you still ma-“

“Very”

“Love I didn’t kno-“

“Well you should’ve known” uh yes the pitty argument you had before attending the party, reminding you of the pain of losing your favourite pair of slippers. Now you pout at the idea of walking around bare in the house.

Remembering the pain you ask “simon how could you”.

And he has the audacity to roll his eyes subtlety almost wanting to pinch his bridge but chooses against it, still holding you while you both sway on the couple’s dance floor “I’ll make it up to you in bed how about that”

Oh fuck this man, because now he realises you’re borderline pissed he just offered sex to relieve your heartbreak, glaring at him you roughly whisper “you’re sleeping on the couch” before storming off leaving him alone.

The ride back home was a silent one, upon arriving you change and swiftly do your nighttime routine, Simon’s baffed by everything he’s witnessing but best thinks to just be silent- almost scared you’ve decided you ignore him, him and you both know the argument was so stupid but his anxiety couldn’t let up. So after his shower he grabs his pillow and a blanket and silently walks into the living room not trying to disturb your slumber.

Simon: going to sleep sad and hard smh :(

[lilithsterrarium]

Brats and Bugs

A bratty little sis makes excuses to have a talk with her not-so-big sister, right before nighttime~

The young girl let out a sigh as she tried to relax in her bed- no matter how much she tossed and turned, she couldnt get comfy... her blankets rustling every few seconds as she constantly adjusted herself to get comfy, all to no avail. Her blonde hair was a frazzled mess as she pulled it away from the soft pillow, a disgruntled expression on her face as she slowly pulled herself out of bed. Her room was dark, barely illuminated by the faint glow of the moon- but she could still make out her collection of toys on the floor. Gazing at each one, she felt... bored. She had played every game already, she was tired of her dolls- but her face quickly lit up when she got an idea. Why not play with her favorite toy of all?

Her "big" sis~

She bounced down the stairs, her colorful pajamas rounding the corner into the living room where her mother, an older woman with large bags under her eyes, sat; reading a book that, considering how hasty she was to put it down when her daughtered entered the room, was most likely not appropriate for kids. Her shock turned into worry as she saw the look of mock fear and sadness on the girl's face.

"M- Mommy!! I had a bad dream..."

She blubbered out, a damn good actor all things considered- whether her mother believed her or not, she wanted to resolve the crying mess somehow.

"C- Can I go sleep with big sis?"

The mother let out a worried glance, before nodding gently.

"Of course, just remember to be gentle..."

Her older sis was busy at the moment- her phone, an absolute pain to have ordered after she shrunk, was open to a collection of porn- porn that she was desperately working herself to. This entire situation was a cliche ripped right out of the smut she read online- a shrinking virus that swept accross, making people small and helpless, and causing a variety of ethical debates on their rights that she admittedly enjoyed more than she should have. She still had her own room- and was nestled in her old covers, her own bed like a landscape to her as she worked herself furiously... only to be interrupted by a series of footsteps loudly announcing their presence seconds before the door swung open with a crash. Her heart skipped a beat as she hurried to close her tabs- glancing at her now collosal "little" sis.

"Heyyyyyya bug sis~"

"... w- what do you want?"

She adored her little sis, but was still a bit upset at the sudden interruption to her "alone time". Her sis only giggled, seemingly proud of herself for the "bug sis" joke, even after she had made it thousands of times.

"I had a really scary dream and I wanted you to protect me..."

Her lil sis's grin only grew, a fact that embarressingly made her blush.

"... why do you have your own room anyways? Mom keeps saying you're 'still a person' but... come on... she's been talking about using it as a library.... maybe a playroom for me..."

The tiny woman sighed, rubbing her eyes- blushing slightly, trying not to dwell on the thoughts that entered her mind.

"So where would I go, exactly?"

"Oh, I dunno... I thought you would just scamper around the house like a bug, but I GUESS we could get you a cage... if we make it into a toyroom, you could even be a toy... as long as you accept that all the other dolls are better than you, of course!"

The tiny woman couldnt stop herself from letting out a moan... she had these thoughts before, but fought to keep them repressed... now that they were brought up once again, she could feel her erection growing against the soft sheets...

"S- shut up..."

"Nah. Besides, you dont want me to! I can see you trying to cover yourself, perv. You're no better than a bug."

"N- no! I mean... n- no... I'm not..."

"Mmm... yeah, you're right, I think a bugs better than you... the icky little things I tell Mommy to crush? Those are your betters..."

"F- fuck off!!"

"Naughty language too... gosh, such a bad girl... maybe I'll make you kiss all of my doll's feet for that, wouldnt that be fun? Nah, you'd like that."

"N- no I-"

"Yes, you would. You're not so sneaky, you know. I saw the lipstick marks on barbie's feet, and the fact you practically made out with her boots... ugh..."

She stuck her tongue out at this, showing off her buck-toothed sadistic grin as her little sis smirked.

"Anyways, I'm gonna sleep in your bed tonight. And you're sleeping with me! You got that?"

"... yeah."

"No, say it correctly."

"... yes, Ma'am."

"Good bug."

The two sisters slept peacefully- and the dynamic around the house was never the same... a girl and her favorite toy (and soon to be her playroom~)

[utapri-translations-uuuu]

Unity between Companions - Translation (仲間との結束)

Please do not repost/retranslate without permission.

I have also made a version which includes the members' notes found in the script.

[The Scarecrow, the Tin Woodman, and the Lion’s struggles - Forest, nighttime]

Theo and Terry are sound asleep.

Theo: (sound of breathing while asleep)

Terry: (snoring softly)

The Scarecrow, the Tin Woodman, and the Lion are sitting around the bonfire watching them.

Lion: They look adorable sleeping.

Tin Woodman: I am grateful to have met them in this way, however…

Theo rolls over in his sleep.

Theo: (groans)

The Tin Woodman observes Theo's sleeping face with a sad expression.

Tin Woodman: Even adults would be bewildered by being sent to a place they don’t know and getting caught up in unexpected events… Honestly, when I look at these children…

He cries while making the sound of metal rattling.

Tin Woodman: I feel so bad… for them…

Lion: Hey now, don’t cry! Your jaw will get rusty and then you won’t be able to move it, right!?

Tin Woodman: I… I’m sorry… It’s just… Not only did Theo-san help me, but for the first time in a long time, I felt like I was being treated as a human being, and that made me very happy.

The Tin Woodman strokes his own cheek.

Tin Woodman: The tenderness of that hand on my cheek… I could feel warmth in my tin body, and that tenderness reminded me of a time when I used to have a heart!

The Scarecrow crosses his arms and nods.

Scarecrow: Maybe it’s because you’ve known that joy once that it’s something you wish to have again.

Tin Woodman: Even if you have a tin body and no matter how physically blessed you are, without emotions and feelings, life is dark… A loving heart is as important as a body.

Lion: I have a flesh-and-blood brain and heart, but that's not enough to make you happy, as you can see.

The Lion pats his own chest.

Lion: Even if you have the appearance, you need to have the courage to make it work. You guys can think properly and put those thoughts into action. That’s amazing.

The Scarecrow jumps up, happy.

Scarecrow: I’m amazing…!? Does that mean I am admirable?? Is that a compliment?

The Lion covers the Scarecrow’s mouth.

Lion: Shh…! You’re speaking too loud… You'll wake them up!

He scratches his head in embarrassment.

Scarecrow: Sorry, I got carried away. Ahaha…

Lion: That is something I would like to learn from you. I’ve become used to being a coward, though, so I'm not sure it will change that quickly.

He firmly clenches my fist and declares as if making a vow.

Lion: But I’m going to work hard! Many times more than most people. Because what I want is something invisible like courage...

Scarecrow: No one knows how this journey will turn out, but we have to trust our companions here and keep moving forward!

Lion: Yeah. Having companions makes us stronger.

Tin Woodman: It makes it possible to do things that we couldn't do alone.

Scarecrow: It’s really thanks to them.

Lion: It’s like a miracle that we met in this way. We need to make sure these kids get home to Kansas.

[loneberry]

Yi Yi by Edward Yang

Kaili Peng (wife of Yang) + Haden Guest, Sean Yang (son)

This film has been on my watchlist for ages. When I saw the Harvard Film Archive was doing an Edward Yang retrospective, I waited to watch a glorious 35 mm print. The film was introduced by Yang's wife, pianist Kaili Peng, and son, Sean Yang. Sean spoke of his father's early death, about only getting to know his dad through his films. After the screening Kaili describe Yi Yi as a "prelude to his own passing," his last "love letter to the world." She described Yang as a moody and passionate person, prone to bouts of anger. Yet while making Yi Yi, he was always in a good mood--that "sweetness" (her word) is captured in the tone of the film. 

Why is it that the films of the Taiwan New Cinema + Second New Wave (especially Tsai Ming-liang) capture urban alienation so powerfully? What is the root of this melancholia? You'd think Taipei was the loneliest place in the world. I don't know. Maybe it is. I've never been, even though my father immigrated from Taiwan and I've long wanted to go there to scatter my grandfather's ashes. 

Yi Yi contains sadness and levity in equal measure. In that sense it is true to life. The adult characters are haunted by their disappointments. Min-Min is plagued by a lack of meaning she tries to counter with Buddhist retreats. NJ is troubled by the counterfactuals of his life—the career he did not pursue, the great love he abandoned, who he encounters 30 years later. The children repeat the disappointments of their parents, continuing the cycle, ad infinitum. Strange, the night before watching Yi Yi, I watched Abbas Kiarostami's Where Is the Friend's House?. Both films stage an encounter between a child and an elderly person as a way to meditate on life and time. In both films there is affinity between the child and old person, who exist on the outer edges of the life cycle. Yes, you can't help but feel, watching Yi Yi, that the little boy Yang-Yang is an old soul (see the films final lines). Yang-Yang is the film's comic relief. I love what that boy sees—the photographs he takes of the backs of people's heads, how I dreamed them (see the photos that open my Sunflower book). 

Ting-Ting, too, is beautiful in her loneliness. Her guilt, her insomnia. She dreams of relief: "Now that you've forgiven me, I can sleep." 

How am I supposed to address the dying? Every soliloquy to the comatose grandma is the character confronting themselves. NJ mumbles that speaking to someone in a coma is like praying. Do they hear you? Are your words sincere? 

The way the film is shot, too, adds to the feeling that the characters are self-enclosed. Much of the action takes place in cramped interiors. The camera is often placed outside the building or train, just beyond the windows, giving you the feeling the they are ensheathed by glass. The window becomes a nexus between the interior and exterior: in the glass we can see what is happening outside at the same time we are observing the facial expressions of the characters. The headlights of the nighttime traffic dance on a woman's face. This is truly the hand of a director with a powerful vision.

Kaili said, after the screening, that Edward's autobiography is manifest in many of the characters. Edward was turned down from piano lessons, as was NJ. The music only meant something to him after the first time he fell in love. 

What can I say. It's a beautiful film. Watch it.

[Read more film reviews on my Letterboxd.]

[tunastime]

there will come soft rains

Jimmy dies as he always does: unceremonious and completely his fault. It's what he does best. This time, he takes Tango down with him, the man he's learned to love in the fraction of the time they were there. He lives with that memory for weeks in the dust of Tumble Town, half wondering if it was ever real in the first place. And he assumes Tango does too, in his own little world away from it all.

One morning, Gem approaches him. She asks him a simple question:

"What do you want to say to Tango when I'm there?"

(where tango and jimmy send letters over an incredible distance)

read it on ao3! (and a huge thank you to @nightbugblogging — you were so brave for beta-ing this <3)

It’s quiet, and dark. Almost too quiet. The entropy of the universe seemed like it had finally settled into nothing, into nighttime, and into dark. Jimmy’s still awake. Being on red—it’s like an itch under his skin. He feels sick, feverish, controlled by something he can’t escape. But there's looming to it, too, the shadow of death that clings to him like the scent of smoke.

Jimmy rolls over. The shape of Tango next to him is soft and warm. His eyes are shut, but his jaw works like he’s biting down on his tongue. It must be getting to him, too.

"Tango?" Jimmy whispers.

"Mm?" Tango hums. He’s still awake, but his voice is heavy with sleep.

Jimmy swallows.

“What happens after this?"

He watches Tango’s face. He frowns, just a soft curve of his mouth, his eyes blinking open. He turns his head, and his expression softens, just a bit, as if he notices the worry in Jimmy’s eyes.

"We win or we die. What do you mean?"

Jimmy opens and shuts his mouth. He means so many things. He’s afraid of losing. He’s afraid of not meaning anything. He’s afraid to be without cause. His heart is a heavy stone in his chest that he wills to beat. What are we? Does this mean something to you? Was this anything?

"I mean...” he says, much slower than he intends. “What happens to us? What happens between us?"

Tango’s face falls in the low light. "Oh," he says, punctuated. "I don't know."

"I don't know either."

"I guess...nothing."

Jimmy stays quiet for a long time before he speaks, his voice soft and barely shaking. His heart hammers in his chest. If he wants to leave, he can leave. He won't keep him. He won’t tie him down. He couldn’t.

"Is that what you want?"

Tango swallows, tries to, Jimmy watches, tries to manage the lump forming in his throat.

"No. It's not. I just don't know what's there for us."

Jimmy laughs a little, and doesn’t mean it to sound as self deprecating as it does.

"I'm not unreachable. I could come visit," he tries.

Tango sighs.

"Sure, but..."

"But what?"

He turns, all at once, to face Jimmy. His face is soft, almost sad, and something in Jimmy aches. Tango reaches out to touch his face, cupping his cheek.

"But do you think you'll still want me? After all of this? I mean you and Scott—"

"Scott? No, no, no, no,” he shuffles forward. He runs his hand over Tango’s shoulder; Tango relaxes and Jimmy drags his hand over his shoulder blades, tracing out the dip of his spine with his fingertips. “Scott and I aren’t together. Scott...” Jimmy sighs. “It was different.”

Tango nods.

“We’re different. And I—you—you wouldn't let me die. Haven't...haven't let me die. And I think I love you."

“You think?” Tango says, smiling, a laugh bubbling up into his voice.

“I do,” Jimmy grins. “I love you.”

"I love you, even if the stupid curse never breaks."

Tango shuffles over, pressing his forehead against Jimmy’s. His skin is warm against his, drawing lines against his cheek with his thumb. Jimmy snorts.

“Yeah?"

"Yeah, even if we die tomorrow. Even if it's next week. Even if it's twenty minutes from now. I love you despite all the...the silly warning signs."

Jimmy laughs, especially as Tango reaches up to kiss the space between his eyes. He traces the back of Tango’s hand, where it still rests on his cheek. His hands track up to thread through Tango’s hair at the base of his skull, scritching against his scalp. Tango sighs against him, his breath warm.

"Come find me when this is all done, won't you?" Jimmy says.

"Can't imagine why I wouldn't. Can't even think of it."

And Jimmy thinks to himself I'm sorry I can't save you. I know it's coming. It's inevitable. But maybe if we hold on a little while longer, I promise you we’ll be alright.  

That doesn’t happen.

Jimmy dies as he always does: unceremonious and completely his fault. He finds himself in the shell of what used to be his home, still screaming for help. Still screaming for Tango. The bed next to him is a discarded shape. He has no need for it now, just the wisp of the person he used to be.

There is the warmth of a presence beside him. He's filled with a list of things he cannot say.

What are you still doing here? It's over. Go home. Go.  

Tango’s not gone. He’s there. But god, of course. Of course it was Jimmy’s fault. Of course it would be him. Of course he would curse Tango with the burden of being his. Of being pulled down with him, of being killed. He turns away from him—there’s no need for Tango to care about him anymore. He couldn’t keep him safe.

When Jimmy wakes up, actually, fully, wholly, he is alone. Tango is not with him. He has nothing to find him by. He’s a memory, fast slipping from Jimmy’s hands like the sand outside the saloon. From beside him, Norman stirs. Jimmy sighs, his heart heavy in his chest.

It was all a bad dream. A bad dream.

Maybe it was his fault for being too much to love.

(more on ao3)

[shuxiii]

Everyday pt.20

Hanni Pham x reader pt1, pt2, pt3, pt4, pt5, pt6, pt7, pt8, pt9, pt10, pt11, pt12, pt13, pt14, pt15, pt16, pt17, pt18, pt19, end

A/n yall reminder the next chapter is the last... 🥲🥲🥲 BUCKLE UP bc oh boy. Credits "every day" by david levithan.

Day 6030

I wake up only two towns away from her, in someone else’s arms.

I am careful not to wake this girl who enfolds me. Her feather-yellow hair covers her eyes. The beat of her heart presses against my back. Her name is Amelia, and last night she snuck in my window to be with me.

My name is Zara—or at least that’s the name I’ve chosen for myself. I was born Clementine, and I loved that name until I turned ten. Then I started to experiment, with Zara being the name that stuck. Z has always been my favorite letter, and twenty-six is my lucky number.

Amelia stirs under the sheets. “What time is it?” she asks groggily.

“Seven,” I tell her.

Instead of getting up, she curls into me.

“Will you be a good scout and check the whereabouts of your mom? I’d rather not leave the way I came in. My morning coordination is so much fuzzier than my nighttime coordination, and I’m always much more inspired when I’m approaching the maiden.”

“Okay,” I say, and in thanks, she kisses my bare shoulder.

The tenderness between two people can turn the air tender, the room tender, time itself tender. As I step out of bed and slip on an oversize shirt, everything around me feels like it’s the temperature of happiness. Nothing from the previous night has dissipated. I’ve woken into the comfort they’ve created.

I tiptoe into the hallway and listen at my mother’s door. The only sound is sleep-breathing, so it appears we’re safe. When I get back to my room, Amelia is still in bed, the sheet pulled back so it’s just her, her T-shirt, and her underwear. I have a feeling that Zara would not let this moment pass without crawling in beside her, but I feel I can’t do that in her place.

“She’s asleep,” I report.

“Like, safe-to-take-a-shower asleep?”

“I think so.”

“You want first shower, second shower, or both shower?”

“You can go first.”

She gets out of bed, and stops to kiss me on the way out. Her hands move under my oversize shirt, and I don’t resist. I fall right into it, kiss her a little bit longer.

“You sure?” she asks.

“You go first,” I tell her.

And then, just like Zara would, I miss her when she’s left the room.

I want it to be Hanni.

She sneaks out of the house while I’m in my shower. Then, twenty minutes later, she’s back at the door, to pick me up for school. My mother is awake now and in the kitchen, and smiles when she sees Amelia heading up the path.

I wonder how much she knows.

We spend most of the day together at school, but not in a way that limits our interactions with other people. If anything, we incorporate our friends into what we have between us. We exist as individuals. We exist as a pair. We exist as parts of trios, quartets, and so on. And it all feels right.

I can’t get Hanni off my mind. Remembering what she said about how her friends would never know me. How no one else would ever know me. How what we have together will only be us, always.

I am starting to realize what this means, and how sad it would be.

I am already feeling some of the sadness now, and it isn’t even happening.

Seventh period, Amelia has study hall in the library while I have gym. When we meet up after, she shows me the books she’s taken out for me, because they look like ones I’d like.

Will I ever know Hanni this well?

Amelia has basketball practice after school. I usually wait around for her, doing my homework. But she is making me miss Hanni too much; I have to do something about it. I ask her if I can borrow her car and run some errands.

She hands over the keys, no questions asked.

It takes me twenty minutes to get over to Hanni’s school. I park in my usual space as most of the cars head in the other direction. Then I find a place to sit and watch the door, hoping she hasn’t already left.

I am not going to talk to her. I am not going to start everything again. I just want to see her.

Five minutes after I’ve arrived, she appears. She is talking to Yeeun and a couple of her other friends. I can’t hear what they’re saying, but they’re all involved in the conversation.

From here, she doesn’t look like someone who’s recently lost something. Her life seems to be playing on all chords. There’s one moment—one small moment—when she looks up and glances around. For that moment, I can believe she’s looking for me. But I can’t tell you what happens in the moment after, because I quickly turn away, stare at something else. I don’t want her to see my eyes.

This is the after for her, and if she’s in the after, then I have to be in the after, too.

I stop off at a Target on the way back to Amelia. Zara knows all her favorite foods, and most of them are of the snack variety.

I stock up, and before I go back into the school to find her, I arrange them on the dashboard, spelling her name. It is, I believe, what Zara would want me to do.

I am not fair. I wanted Hanni to see me there. Even as I looked away, I wanted her to come right over and treat me just like Amelia would treat Zara after spending three days apart.

I know it’s never going to happen. And that knowledge is a flash of light I can’t quite see through.

Amelia is delighted by the dashboard display, and insists on taking me to dinner. I call home and tell my mother, who doesn’t seem to mind.

I can sense that Amelia realizes I’m only half here, but she’s going to let me be half elsewhere, because that’s where I need to be. Over dinner, she fills the silence with tales from her day, some real and some completely imaginary. She makes me guess which is which.

We’ve only been together for seven months. Still, considering the number of memories Zara’s collected, it feels like a long time.

This is what I want, I think.

And then I can’t help it. I add, This is what I can’t have.

“Can I ask you something?” I say to Amelia.

“Sure. What?”

“If I woke up in a different body every day—if you never knew what I was going to look like tomorrow—would you still love me?”

She doesn’t miss a beat, or even act like the question is strange. “Even if you were green and had a beard and a male appendage between your legs. Even if your eyebrows were orange and you had a mole covering your entire cheek and a nose that poked me in the eye every time I kissed you. Even if you weighed seven hundred pounds and had hair the size of a Doberman under your arms. Even then, I would love you.”

“Likewise,” I tell her.

It’s so easy to say, because it never has to be true.

Before we say goodbye, she kisses me with everything she has. And I try to kiss her back with everything I want.

This is the nice note, I can’t help thinking.

But just like a sound, as soon as the note hits the air, it begins to fade.

When I walk inside, Zara’s mother says to her, “You know, you can invite Amelia in.”

I tell her I know. Then I rush to my room, because it’s too much. So much happiness can only make me sad. I close the door and begin to sob. Hanni’s right. I know it. I can never have these things.

I don’t even check my email. Either way, I don’t want to know.

Amelia calls to say good night. I have to let it go to voicemail, have to compose myself into the most like Zara I can be, before I answer.

“I’m sorry,” I tell her when I call her back. “I was talking to Mom. She says you need to come by more often.”

“Is she referring to the bedroom window or the front door?”

“The front door.”

“Well, it looks like a little bird called progress is now sitting on our shoulder.”

I yawn, then apologize for it.

“No need to say you’re sorry, sleepyhead. Dream a little dream of me, okay?”

“I will.”

“I love you,” she says.

“I love you,” I say.

And then we hang up, because nothing else needs to be said after that.

I want to give Zara her life back. Even if I feel I deserve something like this, I don’t deserve it at her expense.

She will remember all of it, I decide. Not my discontent. But the contentment that caused it.

Day 6031

I wake up feverish, sore, uncomfortable.

July’s mother comes in to check on her. Says she seemed fine last night.

Is it sickness or is it heartbreak?

I can’t tell.

The thermometer says I’m normal, but clearly I’m not.

Day 6032

An email from Hanni. Finally.

I want to see you, but I’m not sure if we should do that. I want to hear about what’s going on, but I’m afraid that will only start everything again. I love you—I do—but I am afraid of making that love too important. Because you’re always going to leave me, Yn. We can’t deny it. You’re always going to leave.

H

I don’t know how to respond to that. Instead, I try to lose myself in being Howie Middleton. His girlfriend picks a fight with him at lunchtime, over the fact that he never spends time with her anymore. Howie doesn’t have much to say about that. In fact, he stays entirely silent, which only infuriates her further.

I have to go, I think. If there are things I will never have here, there are also things I will never find here. Things I might need to find.

[unhonestlymirror]

Dainų Šventė review:

What I liked:

The procession. People are sincerely happy to see you, people from the windows wave to you, children and adults hold out their hands for you to give them a high five. Feel like a real star.

Free food for participants. We were fed quite well and fast, the food was fresh and tasty, there wasn’t too much of it to fill our stomachs completely and deprive us of the ability to catch our breath.

Free water for everyone!

The view from the stage. When thousands of people raise their hands with flashlights, it looks like a field of stars, the feeling is indescribable.

Singing. I wonder what the viewer felt, because from the perspective of a singer, even you get excited when 12,000 people sing in unison. My favourite is Lietuvos Bruole, it was really epic.

Variety of costumes. An artist's paradise. Although there was absolutely no time, I still sharply regretted that I hadn't taken a sketchbook because I had never seen some ornaments in my life. (Photos from Delfi and LRT.)

Free badges. :D

There were a LOT of people from different countries, there was nowhere for the apple to fall - and the territory of Vingis Park was pretty huge.

The president of Estonia was there to watch the show, too.

Overall, it was a very interesting and useful experience.

What I disliked:

It was really physically tough. 6 months of local rehearsals, three common rehearsals, the dress rehearsal generally lasted from 6 PM until 1 AM - and right the next day, we had the main concert from 3 PM till 1 AM. If the adults all sat under the roof, then the children's choirs stood in the open air - and it didn't end well. Even Delfi wrote that as a result of the rain, 19 children fell ill and were unable to come to the concert. :/ Legs, back, neck hurt very badly, you lose your voice as a result of singing for many hours every day without the necessary breaks - and I was even lucky because many people didn't even have anything to sit on. I always wondered why people looked so sad and repressed on previous years' videos because Lithuanian songs are so beautiful... I think I understand now.

Even considering how energy-intensive it was - we were still forbidden to smile, to wave unauthorizedly, and even turn our heads to the screens on the sides (not during singing). :/ I just find this interesting because even in North Korea, they order people to illuminate happiness during such big events - but here, even if you really want to express happiness, you are not allowed to do that. In fact, during the dress rehearsal, the presenter forced us to re-sing some songs several times simply because some child smiled and waved at the camera - although by that time (around midnight) we could barely stand on our feet, we all wanted to sleep. For me personally, this really kills the desire not only to sing but even to come again. It's the Song Festival, not the Belarus Military Parade...

Unlike Belarus, we wouldn’t be put in prison here if we decided not to go. Maybe. None of us wanted to check, not even my pregnant friend. XD

We were ordered to come at 15:00 - but the procession started at 17:00. Why we were forced to stand for 2 hours under the scorching sun is unclear. There was free water, but you still had to leave your position to get it - and we were too scared to do that because no one knew when we were gonna start moving. I understand that the organizer wanted to add an element of solemnity, but for this, it was absolutely not necessary to slow everything down so much.

The tempo of the songs in general could have been made faster, imo. The audience also wants to sleep, after all.

About a dozen families of swifts lived under the roof, and in my opinion, we ruined their nighttime routine. XD

I hope that everyone who came to listen to us enjoyed the concert because we've put a lot of effort into it. :D

[anthrofreshtodeath]

THE CONJURING RIZZLES AU 😧 how is every au idea outta your head a straight banger damn (esp after reading your vampire au i know you’d do it so much justice omgg)

Sigh… yes 😭. I haven’t touched it in three years and I’m sad about it because I feel like it could be really good. However, I have too many other, more fleshed out ideas to finish before I get to it. I’ll post the bit I did complete here:

Maura Isles had to use the bathroom.

She’d felt the pangs in her bladder for almost an hour now. Unfortunately, there was still at least another hour until the sun came up, and while that was the case, she found herself unable to move, unable to even open her eyes. The darkness had been oppressive these past few months, preying on her exhaustion and squashing her empirical rationality.

She whimpered into the cavernous expanse of the bedroom, besieged by fear she had started to loathe, frustrated by her inability to conquer this irrational terror. Her pulse quickened and her spine turned cold, all the while her need grew. Time slowed and her senses grew heightened, as though in collusion with whatever force sought to torture her. Stars pulsated behind her eyelids. The sheets clung to her body in swampy humidity, daring her to squirm, to move.

And she heard the tick-tock of the clock in the bathroom just a few short steps away. 3:07. It was pure cacophony when she’d gotten no sleep and something in the nighttime air had taken to terrorizing her. She tried, as she crossed her legs ever so slowly, to convince herself that it was something within: that it was her brain that waged war against her. Certainly, with all that had transpired, a certain amount of hysteria was warranted, and she even considered post traumatic stress as a cause.

But she feared what she might hear when the clock was done sounding. She feared that if she really concentrated, she would hear whispers dark enough to curdle every part of her. She knew not what the whispers would say, how they would sound.

She thought she knew who would be doing the whispering, thought, and she wasn’t ready for that yet. So, she slid her hand under the pillow on the other side of her bed, grabbed the rosary she never dared to look at in the daytime, and willed herself to get up with internal explanations of the rarity of disembodied voices, the effect of anxiety on the senses, the paranoia that would inevitably follow the agony of the invasion she had experienced only a few weeks prior.

The fall air bit at her skin as she rose, her silk, short, barely there black and white chemise more of an affront to the cold than a guard against it, but she dared not look into the corner of the room where her robe, a comfort against the chill, laid against a chair. Shadows took advantage of dark corners. And, Maura knew, though she would not have been able to explain how if asked, that the stench that had started to bubble up in the room was coming from that corner.

It smelled like death.

It smelled... offensive, and she clutched the rosary so hard it pricked her skin and spread her metacarpals. She trotted the last few steps to the bathroom and slammed the door so that she could turn the light on. She tried to grasp at an elusive and thin relief as she rested her back against the door, willing her thudding heart to calm before she walked to the toilet. She spread her fingers against her chest as if that would work, as if the beads of the necklace and the cross at its end could suck the fear out of her.

She gulped and pushed away from the door, finally deciding that her bladder could take no more abuse. She relieved herself, hyper aware of the vulnerability of her position, stuck until she finished, at the mercy of her body and its functions. The din of the overhead fan served as obscurity, but even that made her nervous - she didn’t want to be heard, she didn’t want to hear, but the sensory deprivation scared her almost as much as what she might discover in the dark.

She shrieked when a furious pounding shook the bathroom door.

The knocks were regular, but so frenzied in force and speed that they could not have been human. Maura crouched behind the half-wall next to the toilet and actually prayed.

“Maura?” rasped a voice from the other side of the door. Maura opened her eyes, relief and suspicion warring within her thundering heart. She said nothing for fear of being duped by whatever hunted her. The voice said her name again, this time a little more sure, a little more real. “Maura?”

“Jane?” Maura’s own voice was quiet, hoarse, small.

“Yeah, babe,” was the response in Jane’s unmistakable timbre. “You alright in there?” the question was hesitant and slow, as if Jane knew the answer to it and hoped that Maura wouldn’t lie.

“I’m, I’m ok,” Maura said on a shaky breath. She smoothed the silk over her thighs in a calming swipe, rising and walking toward the sink. She turned on the water more to muffle the sound of her own shame than to drown out Jane. She went through the scientist’s routine of wetting, soaping, scrubbing, and rewetting her hands for twenty uninterrupted seconds. For a moment she wondered if she hallucinated Jane calling out to her from the bedroom.

“I thought I heard you yelling,” said kind Jane in reply, infusing her response with doubt to buy Maura some dignity, some deniability. “Maybe I dreamt it.”

Maura sighed. She wiped her hands dry and then ran one through her sleep-mussed hair. Objectively, she looked beautiful, skin rosy with rest and nightwear salaciously short, a gold pendant the perfect accent to the smattering of freckles across her chest like a constellation. In actuality, she was a mess. Nerves were shot, eyes were bleary - but the perfect antidote for her woes, at least in this moment, was waiting just a room away.

All she had to do was open the door, so she did. “No, you heard correctly.” she said, her hazel eyes bashful, downcast.

At least it allowed her to survey Jane from the toes up. Jane Rizzoli was planted firmly on the floor, and Maura adored the way the skin over her long feet, runner’s feet, provided dark contrast to the bathroom carpet’s light. Maura adored Jane’s slim ankles, her open stance, her defined quadriceps poking out through a pair of short basketball shorts she wore to bed. She adored Jane’s cocked hips, as though ready to fire, she adored the torso that went on forever and the arms open for her already.

More than any of those things, however, she adored Jane’s handsome features knotted up in sleep and concern. Dark and wild eyes glossed over with worry and the harsh lines of her cheeks bunched forward in a sympathetic grimace. Her mouth was a hard, closed line. “C’mere,” it finally said, and Maura collapsed into the hug waiting for her. She wanted to cry, and figured that if Jane’s face was buried in her hair, maybe she could without being seen.

Jane was warm, she was soft, and her unruly black hair provided the perfect shield to the outside world. Perception was failing Maura and up until very recently, Maura relied completely on perception to process her surroundings. The only truths were the ones she could see, hear, smell, taste, touch. The only things that existed were the provable ones, and what other way to prove them but by sensing them?

Now there were very clearly things that existed which could not be explained by natural processes. There were things that assaulted her senses, manipulated them, but operated completely outside the realm of them. And, just thinking about all of it ratcheted up her anxiety again - she clawed at the back of Jane’s t-shirt and inhaled as much of her as possible. “I’m sorry I woke you,” she said against Jane’s sternum.

“It’s ok. You grabbed my rosary and I think I started waking up then. You know, eventually you’re gonna have to tell me what happened at the Theriault house,” Jane whispered against Maura’s temple.

For fifteen days she had actively avoided speaking about the Theriault house in rural Maine. She actively avoided even thinking about it. Days one through four were spent in a self-imposed isolation in this very bedroom, and when she broke it to find Jane in the kitchen one morning, making coffee, she had said nothing, only wrapped her arms around Jane from behind and sobbed into the t-shirt stretched across a broad Italian back. “I… I know,” she said, a monumental acquiescence, “but for now, I want to go back to sleep.”

Jane sighed. “Then let’s do that,” she said. They labored through the cold back under the covers, and when Maura burrowed against Jane’s front, her face at the conjunction of Jane’s chest and throat, she finally felt herself fall back into a fitful sleep.

___

Maura, in a high-waisted plum skirt, a multi-colored, purple-tinged sleeveless blouse, looked nothing like the scared woman hiding in the bathroom only a few hours before. Her heels made her nearly as tall as a barefoot Jane when she stepped into the kitchen. Sun poured in through the expanse of windows on either side of the fireplace, and the light accentuated all of the wisps of light brown around the crown of Jane’s black hair. Jane was all brightness in light gray suit pants and a pastel yellow t-shirt, and together they looked immaculate.

“You hate the espresso machine,” Maura teased, her eyebrows knitted tight with her smirking mouth. She spread her fingers over Jane’s outspread ones when the portafilter clattered to the counter and grounds splattered across the granite.

“Shit,” Jane popped her pointer finger in her mouth; it smarted with the pressure of the uncooperative portafilter. “Well, I thought I’d surprise your mother.”

Maura laughed and her cheeks tinged red with pleasure. “You refuse to learn for me for years - my mother stays for one night and suddenly you’re interested?”

“I feel like I need to get on her good side,” Jane shrugged, “we didn’t start off so smooth.”

“You were defending me when she had neglected to put me on the list of an event that she invited me to,” Maura reasoned, “she respects you for that.”