#and one day you look in your reflection and you dont see yourself anymore. once blue eyes turned red with a 5 petal flower forever imprinte

[catamaurrr-star]

thinking about my ocs again. it would be sooo fucked up if you were pyre actually

[snghnlvr]

delicate | nishimura riki

౨ৎ ## love so delicate like yours, synopsis: you've realized how far you've gotten with your boyfriend now that both of you are adults.

includes: 1.9k words | soft fluff | yn is anxious asf but riki comforts them | we love reassurance | movie notebook reference 😎 | yn got a tattoo and it makes riki fall in love with them more 🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️ | coming of age¿?

extra: at this point, all of the members are taylor swift coded | soft love is the best love | yn is me because im also 18 and i dont wanna pay taxes D:

likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated! <3

[below the cut]

you sighed as you laid yourself flat against the blankets. you smiled in delight as if your troubles and worries left you. 

“school’s over.” you said, feeling your chest heavy. you recalled the school memories that you’ve experienced; both happy and sad, now that you’re taking the next chapter of your life; college. 

it’s leaving a bittersweet feeling on your whole body. 

“it is.” you looked over your shoulder, to see your boyfriend, riki fiddling with his yearbook. his fingers spotted towards the back of the book, heartfelt messages and inspiring words that his friends wrote for him. 

you’re in riki’s backyard, inside of a treehouse both of you built since children with the help of your parents. you’re so lucky your dad is a constructor. 

riki is sitting, one leg sticking out and one knee bent as he leans into the wooden walls. this position allows you to admire him from below as the sunlight flashes on his beautiful features. 

he’s reading every single message with sincerity and care, from his senior friends that he will probably never see again and his younger juniors that he can’t annoy anymore as he pleases. despite hating waking up early every morning and him dealing with tiring lectures, he has to admit he made memories and friends that’s worth a life time.

“i can’t believe we’re gonna be college students now. where we have to pay off debts, start our career paths, those people who are gonna be closer to 20 than 16 - it’s just,” you took in a breath. “surreal. surreal that we are growing up.”

you had always had a fear of growing up. not wanting to achieve the things and goals you’ve planned on time. you felt like you’re rushing to do everything at once before it becomes too late. you always wanna stay 16 forever; forever naive to understand the real world. how you’re closest friends will separate from you. how everything you’re experiencing right now will be just a memory. 

riki glanced down on you where you’re staring off of space. he can sense the anxiety in your tone. 

he closes the book after he was staring at a picture. a picture titled, “best couple” and it’s a picture of the both of you standing next to each other, smiling widely. he smiled at how adorable you looked next to him.

he scooted closer to you, making himself comfortable once he lays down next to you. his back lays flat, mimicking your position. 

“are you scared?” riki likes to question the obvious, but it helps you reflect on your feelings; how fear is just a feeling and to understand your emotions a bit better.

“just a little anxious just all,” you confessed, looking at riki whose eyes never left yours. “i’m sure it will disappear soon. i mean, everyone experiences this.” you reassure yourself and riki sense it, enjoying your honesty.

“mhm,” riki mumbles. “it’s okay to feel anxious, the future is scary.” he looks down. “it’s only a matter of time how you’re gonna handle it. you create your own future.” 

his words ring in your head. he’s right.

riki took your silence as a way that you agree with him. 

he then glanced down towards your arm, a black-inked drawing that attracted him. riki scooted closer, his body turned to yours. he propped himself up with his elbow.

no matter how close the proximity is between the both of you, it still makes you nervous til this day. especially with how much older and mature-looking your boyfriend of 6 years is. 

“your parents aren’t mad about this?” riki gently poked on your arm, eyes analyzing the art in your arm. it’s only been a week since you decided to get your first tattoo.

it’s beautiful, he thinks. 

“not anymore, i’m 18 now.” you huffed out. you remembered the horror on your parents’ faces but a sigh of defeat when they realized you’re now responsible of yourself. it makes you chuckle about their panicked expressions, slowly making themselves aware that you’re not gonna be their little 4 year old reckless daughter anymore. 

“i can imagine your mom shrieking.” riki giggled which made you scoffed because he wasn’t wrong. 

“your birth flower?” riki asked, his fingertips gently tracing the traces of your birth flower. 

your eyes widened a bit at his sudden touch then you looked down at how focused riki was. his eyes were staring at it as if your tattoo was a museum. 

your heart beat quickened at the sight. 

“the flower that i drew for you in your math notebook in 6th grade.” riki smiled, realizing how much time flies since you guys called it official since middle school. you’ve remembered the nervousness riki’s hands were, fiddling the bouquet of origami flowers. flowers he made for each that day that he fell in love with you. you thought it was silly. riki has always been caring and kind to you so it was natural for you to reprociate the feelings back. and so, without any pressure or doubts, you guys called it official.

“i thought you threw your old notebooks away..” his voice still remains soft and delicate, still smiling at your tattoo. he started to reminisce the times he would doodle on your notebook without you noticing. like a surprise.

“i ripped the page and kept it since.” when you were going into your freshman self, you looked back into the notebooks to reminsince your middle school memories. you’ve came across a drawing — no other than riki’s in one of your notebooks. you ripped it out and hid it in a safe spot until you get a tattoo of it ever since.  

some people thought you guys weren’t gonna make it past middle school — even you too, but since both of you got in the same highschool, it remained strong. a strong string holding your relationship tight.

yes, with hormones acting up and puberty getting in the way, there were times where you guys had fought and argued together to the point it was nearing breaking apart but both of you shouldn’t let it slide. not when it has reached this far. and how much you love each other.

although your boyfriend has grown up, there are occasionally times where he teases you and becomes childish around you, it makes you soft-hearted at how he still has a soul of his 12-year old self. especially moments where he look similar to a duck, which made you think about how much duck plushies you have on your bed because it reminds you of riki. 

you’re happy that you’re growing up with him.

“what are you thinking about pretty girl?” 

you gasped lightly, realizing that you’re spacing out. you looked at him and you see a small smirk implemented on his face, curious of what your pretty head is thinking about.

your face relaxes, trying to calm yourself. you’re nervous over nothing.

you looked down at your hands, then glance at riki’s hand comfortably resting, then back to your hands. your fingers slowly creep upon riki’s fingers, slowly rubbing them with yours. you smiled at the sight.

“it’s insane to think about how much we’ve grown.” you paused. “together.”

riki’s eyes looked at the sight, his heart beat echoing and growing louder. no matter what you do, you always make him think irrational. he then glances at you smiling when you’re playing with his fingers. “not many people believed in us lasting this long, not even me. i was worried if one of us lost feelings, found someone else better, or get something in our way, but im glad that we didn’t give up.” you looked at riki where his attention was diverted to you. he raised an eyebrow to indicate that he was listening.

“i’m happy that i’m dating you, i can’t express how much i adore you, how much you mean to me, i’ve never felt love this strong before — you’re just everything to me. i can’t imagine laughing harder than with anyone else, smile so much with anyone else. with you, it’s different. thank you for loving me.” 

you’re cringing on the inside at how much you confessed in such a short amount of time. you’re met with silence from your boyfriend who seem atonished from your words. you’re embarrassed, pulling back your fingers to cover your blushing cheeks in front of your boyfriend.

riki’s lips twitched, happy for you to express your feelings more comfortably now compared to the past situations. (one of the reasons that you’ve guys argued before) his chest felt light, his grin becoming bigger when you’re hiding from him.

you hear the blankets rustling, you felt riki’s arm slowly snake around your wrist to lightly remove your hand from your face. you removed your embarrassed hands and your eyes followed his hand clasping onto yours. the sight of his veiny hands makes you silent.

you admire the two of you holding hands. your stomach was feeling butterflies just as it was the first time riki confessed his feelings to you. riki twists your wrist, allowing you to see the sight from all angles. it looks so perfect. your hand perfectly structured to hold his. 

“you’re just as perfect as to what i am seeing right now.” riki spoke with a soft tone, chuckling when he kept twisting and turning your wrist. “you have a place in my heart no one else could ever have. my heart is so full of you i can hardly call it my own. i choose you. and i’ll choose you over and over. without a pause, without a doubt, in a heartbeat, i’ll keep choosing you. as long as i’m alive, you will always be loved.”

you’re speechless at your boyfriend’s words to the point you feel like crying. riki still kept smiling at you, giggling. you saw the crescents formed in his eyes whenever he smiled at you and it never fails to make yourself love him more.

riki took this opportunity to lift himself up, hovering above you. he pecked your forehead. you felt his warm lips touching your skin and the goosebumps always forms whenever he makes you flustered.

you looked up at him, surprised. he looked down at you with his head tilted and a scrunched nose like a puppy, as if he was proud to do that.

nothing but an exchange of loud heart beats matching with one another and genuine giggles back and forth. 

riki then leaned in towards you. you closed your eyes at the expected action. his lips touching with yours. electricity flows when he rubs his fingers on your hands. it always make you feel all tingly on the inside. 

riki then pulls back, “cute.” he teases you, making your cheeks grow hotter. “shut up.” you rolled eyes, earning a little laugh from him.

riki still doesn’t let go of your intertwined hands as he returns to his original position where you’re laying flat on the ground, shoulder to shoulder. 

“so your summer plans?” riki asked casually. he lifted his head as his arm was under his head to act as support.

you then touched your bangs, realizing that you still have that caramel-like highlights since march. you were starting to get bored of it.

you pursed your lips. “maybe dye my hair next week back to black.” 

riki’s eyes shined. “match with me.” he spoke without thinking. you turned your head to him, realizing that his hair is black now. 

your boyfriend likes it alot when both of you match. 

“if you bleach it next month to some color then what?” you pointed out because sometimes your boyfriend makes impulsive decisions on his hair whenever he sees a cool hairstyles. you’re not angry whenever he does this because he’s good looking with whatever hair color he has.

“i won’t bleach it, i promise. i’ll follow you.” riki spoke and it makes you chuckle that he probably doesn’t realize the importance of his words. “red? blue? silver, i’ll do it for you.” you froze at his sudden deep voice erupting from him. your heart beat also freezes when his lips touches the location of your tattoo. you looked down and see his lips pushed forward. your heart flutters once again.

“you’re dumb.” you spoke, eyes softening at what you were hearing. 

gosh, you really love this man.

riki smiles against your skin, looking up and your heart twists at an umfamiliar sight. “i can be that.” he whispers like it was a promise.

[takeurexam]

dynasty || VI

genre:

non idol au, time travel, romance, rivals to allies to friends to lovers, crown prince to emperor taehyun, reader gets appointed as an concubine

pairing(s):

taehyun x reader

(warning, this does not reflect the REAL idols personality, and no smut will be written to respect the idol, and i am not comfortable as well, and the taehyun in this ff is not the actual taehyun)

story:

in which you, an excellent law student about to graduate collage suddenly gets dragged into the past, meeting the famous-fawned over emperor of the kang's dynansty. but you getting dragged into this mess was beyond a mystery, and it seems like you have something deep to discover. meddling with the past is a risky decision after all.

dynasty masterlist

6. Independent

Today was the day you were set to leave the royal camp. You've finished everything you needed to do so far so you dont have anything to keep you from leaving anymore. Well, this morning, you were a little earlier than the others. It was quiet as a fresh wave of air hits you as you sigh in satisfaction. You drop your bags to the ground to admire the fresh air hitting you and the spectacular view.

It was nice to breathe some fresh air in the morning. It means that the tomorrow you desired yesterday has come- and you have to go through it to survive and see another tomorrow.

"Are you this enthusiastic to leave the imperial crown prince?" The prince himself chuckles beside you as you step away as you jolt from the unannounced prescence. "Wow. I guess reminding someone you're there dosent exist for you." He chuckles at your bickering as you both stare into the sun.

"As the sun rises, a new day awaits. I will become the inventor of new stuff and become rich and famous in this time. My supposed destiny! I will change the rules of the court!" You bawl as Taehyun looks at you a little concerned. "Okay, straight to the point." You clear your throat.

"When are you going to become the Emperor?" You glance over at the emperor-to-be as he looks at the ground with a blank face. "Once my father dies. It feels a little.."

"Terrifying?" You continue his sentence. "Well, if anything, you're leading a lot of people. Different minds after all." He laughs at your answer, "It truly is." You were right, he was terrified- because once he becomes emperor of the dynasty, It feels like giving out every once of freedom you have left to the palace and dedicating your whole life to be either controled or to be looked up on.

Your glance switches over to him as he stood there looking at the sun. If you were not to know his situation- you would assume he was fine and just admiring the view. In reality, he has a thousand thoughts running over his mind. A battle between the positive thoughts and the negative thoughts consume his mind. The emotion on his face dosent truly show what is going on inside his mind.

"Well, Taehyun." He snaps out of his thoughts as he hears you mention him, "Be independent. The palace isn't a safe place from what i've heard, but what you can do is trust in yourself more than anyone. Anything can happen inside those gates- and the only person you can trust and rely on is yourself." You were never one to be a comforting person, yet you felt the need to give him the consolation he might need.

"Im giving you advice because this empire or dynasty you're leading is in shambles and in the hands of corruption, and maybe, just maybe you can be different and fix it." You felt yourself grin at your words as Taehyun just stands there understanding every word.

The Crown Prince smiles as he finds a profound sense of contentment in your words.

"Oh! Its Beomgyu!" You see a horse nearby the entrance with a familliar figure riding it, "Well, Your Imperial Highness." You try not to snicker, which obviously fails as you speak, "Be independent. Maybe we'll cross paths when you're emperor now. And if I become rich, I might visit you." He laughs, "How comforting then."

"See you!" You run over to the General as Taehyun watches you slip away from him. He feels a sense of familiarity grow inside him making him chuckle and shake his head.

Of course, you dont forget to wave goodbye to Taehyun once you arrive beside Beomgyu. Confused, he copies your actions without fully understanding what it was for.

He just wishes, he finds you once he is the Emperor of the dynasty.

"Uhm." You chuckle nervously as you stare up at the horse and the man sitting on it, "Big issue." You feel a wave of embarassment wash over you, "I have never tried to ride on a horse." The General looks a little suprised that someone like you- adventurous, not to know how to ride a horse.

Beomgyu goes down from his horse as he sighs, "First, step on this." He points towards a thing on the saddle, you follow his instructions and step on it, "Now, lift yourself up and sit down on it." What?

"How?" You look at him with a groan as you embarass yourself infront of a General who is basically a pro in riding a horse. "Okay, just lift yourself up, and sit on the horse but facing me." You understand a little as you manage to sit down on the horse.

After, you manage to sit on the horse properly as you clap for yourself as General Beomgyu looks at you a little concerned. He rides the horse too as you both get ready to set off to Soobin's camp.

"Hyah!" Beomgyu and you set off with the horse into the forest. The beautiful morning sunrise is clear on the sky as the fresh cold air flows along with the two of you on your journey.

"General." You wanted to strike a conversation because you were a little bored, "Can we make a pinky promise?"

"What is that?" You couldn't see his face but you can only assume he looked puzzled as you laugh, "A contract or deal or something."

Beomgyu replies, "What pinky promise would you like to make with me?" He adjusted to your weird wording, "There we go! Okay so, we put our pinkies together, and we make a contract and never break it."

The General slows down the horse as you put out your pinky finger, "Put yours out too." He does exactly what you instruct and puts his finger out too.

"Promise me to never leave the Crown Prince's side." He was suprised at your sudden declaration, "What?" He suddenly turned to you, as he comepletely stopped the horse from moving. You were looking at him with a complete genuine care in your eyes, "He's pathetic enough for this world- but I cant be successful when the palace is corrupt, right? So be with him and make sure he becomes independent once he is emperor."

The way you look makes Beomgyu think about it. He would do the 'promise' you mentioned to him yet he only thought about your reaction- why were you asking him to stand by the crown prince?

"Yes. I cant get out of this dynasty and I need to get rich! Taehyun is my key to wealth and I need him to be the secured emperor so I can be rich and flex about me knowing the emperor personally." You hide the grin about to eat your face as Beomgyu seemed a little suprise.

He looks at you and his hand before entagling your pinky fingers together, "I promise." He murmurs as you finally let out that smirk you've been resisting, "Wealth, here I come!"

The General starts to move the horse once again as you daydream about your future if you dont get back in your original time, your wealth increasing and inventing some non existing rules in the dynasty and be famous and become a lawyer and- okay. You should stop.

Finally, you both arrive at the same camp where you first found yourself in this dynasty in. Hobak stands there with Soobin, and once Hobak notices you, he jumps around excitedly as Soobin just smiles.

"Hobak!" You engulf him into a suffocating hug as he hugs you back, "I missed you brother." You sob out as he dramatically cries as the two men with you two just looks at you baffled.

General Beomgyu then clears his throat, "I'll take my leave then." He glances over at Soobin as he returns the General's look before nodding at each other. He looks at you sobbing with Hobak as he walks over to his horse and galloping away.

"Spill every single cup of tea you've collected!" Hobak shakes your shoulder as you both squeal, with Soobin sighing.

"You know, im delighted to see you safe and sound. We didn't hear from you when you went out to gather herbs and the next thing we know is a letter is sent to us indicating you were with the Crown Prince." Soobin chuckles as you nod.

The three of you sit down on the fresh grass as the late night sky flows along with the bright half moon, with the light of the campfire providing light around your small bonfire as you three sat down in peace.

"I even heard, that someone was seeing the Crown Prince! And it was you! Everyone went berserk on Daedo yesterday." Hobak says in a melodramatic tone. "Her Grace went insane once she heard Prince Taehyun was seeing another woman!"

"Is it the concubine that walked in on his tent?" You ask, remembering the woman who threw a fit from the rumours. "Uh huh, Concubine Yang."

"But aren't concubines for the emperor?" Soobin tilts his head, quite confused. Hobak rolls his eyes at the two of you with arrogance as you and Soobin await for an answer.

"Well, from the rumours I hear, Concubine Yang and His Imperial Highness were close friends since they were young. Concubine Yang's father was a part of the infamous Cheol family, and the Kang's and Cheol's are sworn enemies." Hobak explains as if he was in broadway.

Hobak then continues, "Concubine Yang was appointed to be a concubine for more power from the Cheol family, but she had fallen for the Crown Prince." He dramatically sings out.

"Does the Crown Prince like her back?" You question.

"Sadly, I dont know about that. All I know him and the concubine are against the Cheol family." Hobak whispers.

It was a next level melodrama. Its something you would find in television, and it was quite entertaning yet confusing.

"Well, lets cut out the gossip. Tomorrow we'll be leaving Daedo and set over to the nearby town near the empire." Soobin stands up.

"We're leaving? Wow, I just return and-" Soobin cuts you off by pulling your ear as you whine, "Hey! Choi Soobin!" He laughs, "Im tired of your nagging. Get some rest." You caress your aching ear as you three walk over to your own tents to get some rest.

The sound of the horses galloping circulated along with your thoughts as you hum to a song while the three of you- Soobin, Hobak and you venture into the new town you were settling in for a while. Soobin mentioned it was a tradition between him and Hobak to venture around for a while then return to Daedo for their job. You didn't fully understand their job but you can register a part of it.

Hobak bickering with Soobin this early in the morning was not your vibe today. You felt a little lost as you relapse on some moments from the present.

"Hey, someones being a little killjoy. You're just excited! Theres a lot of good food and amazing places to explore there." Hobak sneers at you as you snicker at him, "You and Soobin have been bickering for almost hours! So let me have my peace." You roll your eyes.

"She definetely needs some rice soup." Soobin giggles as Hobak nods eagerly, "Our first stop- rice soup! Its amazing. Call me a peasent for eating that, I dont care! Its just too good." He then goes on to ramble about how good rice soup was and how life changing it is.

"Hobak is such a bummer."

You three arrive at the towns gate as you set down your horses and roam around, "Rice soup?" Soobin asks as Hobak nods, with Soobin waiting for your response.

"Im in! Lets see what the hype is about." The three of you walk over to the place where they sold the famous rice soup Hobak was craving all day just talking about it.

Once you three get your bowls, Hobak dosent hesitate to dig in as Soobin just sighs at him as he dosent stop himself from taking a sip himself. You loom at the bowl before digging in.

You feel yourself get hit by the beautiful flavors- the refereshing delicious beef broth and the soft rice dipped into the broth was a match made in heaven- with the small beef pieces melting into your mouth with some vegetables to refreshen your taste buds was everything you asked for.

You swear, you almost faint on how good it was. "I told you, its a dish made by the hands from heaven." Hobak exaggerates as Soobin nods, processing the mixed flavours combining into their mouths.

"I almost died." You dramatically put your hands over to your forehead, almost crying out of joy. Soobin just laughs it out with Hobak being the same as you.

As you three were enjoying the broth, you overhear some people behind you gossip.

"Hey, have you heard! The Emperor is so stupid! We might even all perish before he even does. The empire is almost experiancing famine and he's just hanging out with multiple women!" One old man rants out, sounding like a drunk man.

"I heard that he got ill. The Crown Prince better be up to our expectatons. If hes another replica of his father, I might even rather die than to live another day in this country!" One younger man cries out. Their other companions agree as they all blurt out their opinions about the country and the emperor.

The three of you stare at the multiple men, before you return your gaze at the two, "Is the emperor.. that bad?" You whisper.

"I think so." Soobin finishes sipping on his soup, "We are almost experiancing a famine after all. Those people arent necessarily wrong." You nod at Soobin's answer as you stare down into your bowl.

"Is the emperor this bad? Just how am I going to meddle into the past with this kind of situation? I mean- I would love to be the hero, but it seems that this country is already broken." You blurt out in your thoughts as you remember about your life plan, "And I cant get rich with someone like him the emperor!"

"I just hope, Kang Taehyun fixes his father's mess."

<previous chapter

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taglist:

@stormy1408

please comment if you want to be in the taglist <3

[blond-b]

TW: €D

My new rules for myself

Try not to eat high cal foods unless it’s in front of someone else (you need to keep others thinking that you DO eat normal, but you don’t have to eat more than it takes to convince others)

No more than ONE sweet a day (you are a fat ass, and you will binge a whole tray of brownies if your not careful. Never eat more than ONE)

No excuses about exercising (aw, your a little sore? Get over it. Do at least 5 miles, unless your in extreme pain, or physically can not exercise, there is no excuse.)

Do more than cardio. (You KNOW that muscle burns more calories than fat, you also know that your tummy looks frumpy even if your skinny… unless you tone it up. Don’t be lazy, you have no excuses. Do your workouts)

Always be moving (sitting down? Wiggle your toes or bounce your feet. Laying in bed? Do leg raises, or side leg raises, and move your arms some. Standing in line? Shift weight from one leg to another. Even small movements burn more cal than if you weren’t doing them.)

Only binge on foods that don’t matter (your high and wanna binge? Okay, eat watermelon, have an ice pop, have some broccoli, or strawberries. NO JUNK, save your junk food for your sober mind to decide on)

Stay active on rest days (you get one day a week to not exercise, that however does NOT mean be lazy. Instead, clean your room, play with your dog, go swimming, clean the kitchen, do anything to get some passive movements in. Your resting your exercises muscles today, NOT your whole body.)

No lying to yourself. (You binged? You went over on cals? Ate too much of a cal dense food? LOG IT. Telling yourself “I know I messed up, I don’t need to log it to know it” has to stop. You need to be honest with your future self, she’ll ask “why didn’t I lose any weight this week??” And she deserves to look back and see why. That and lying to your app just sets yourself for failure. You won’t know how much to restrict to make it up.)

Fruit/veggie fast the day after a high cal day. (You fucked up. Get over it, and fix it. Only eat low cal fruits and vegetables the next day, you’ll feel full but still be in a cal deficit. You may be starving, but you don’t need to feel it.)

Rules I’ll be implementing when school (college) starts back up

At least one day a week, eat less than 500 cal.

Meal prep low cal high nutrient foods. (You need protein, you DONT need extra calories. Boil some chicken, shred it, add some low cal seasoning. Do NOT add unnecessary things like oils, mayo, ranch, cream cheese NO. You want the protein that why you eat. Not for enjoyment)

You have a free gym membership, use it. (Oh, it’s ‘embarrassing’ working out in front of others? Get tf over it. You need to use the treadmill, and the stair master can burn EVEN MORE. Get over yourself and do it)

Bad weather isn’t an excuse. (It’s snowing? Tuff luck. Walk your ass to the gym and go on the treadmill. Its raining? Same thing, walk your ass to the gym and work out. Excuses build fat.)

Eat within your calorie deficit every day. (you have roommates? Worried the will notice how little you eat? Say you eat breakfast in your room, they don’t know what you keep there. They start acting worried? Wake up before them, say you ate. Get home after them, say you ate out. Lie.)

Rules for once I hit my UGW (125lbs)

Don’t stop. (So, your skinny now? So what. You can still look better. You can still lose fat. It’s time to focus on BUILDING muscle. Of course, not too much you don’t want to look like a man, but enough that you could be a swimsuit model.)

Track with Pictures more than anything (the plan is to build some muscle while cutting fat still now, yeah? So the number on the scale won’t be a completely accurate reflection of your efforts anymore {this does not mean stop weighing yourself}. You can look skinnier and weigh more with muscle, and we care about LOOKS not numbers)

Don’t let the doc.’s know. (This is where building muscle can come in handy. You don’t want to be stopped, so weigh a “healthy” weight, but let that “healthy” weight come from muscle, not fat. They never have to know.)

Don’t get bulky. (Yes, we’ve now switched mindsets from LOSING weight to GAINING muscle. That does not mean get bulky. Your goal is to look like a activewear model. Toned, fit, strong, but still dainty.)

Don’t stop cardio. (Cardio is what will KEEP you lean. Adding strength training does not allow you to cut out cardio. Remember, we NEVER want to look bulky.)

[luvelylili]

hiiii i hope ur having a good day!!!! :333

i have some difficulties with manifesting my sp T__T so like my sp is my friend but we got into a huge argument and now we dont talk anymore but i want him back, ive manifest alot of things before and its so easy like right when i think of it it appears but with this one its hard like i dont know how to manifest like am i doing too much or too little? im scared if im doing too much or too little he wont come back maybe im just nervous? sometimes i believe he will come back and dm me rn but when i look at my phone theres no messages from him so i feel dissapointed, but to be fair i didnt believe it that much, sometimes i wanna give up but i wont ill try my hardest bc i want him back so bad, hes my precious friend, thank u so much T__T 💗💗💗💗💗💗

hi love,

first of all, you’re manifesting all the time whether you know it or not, so it’s quite impossible for you to not know how to manifest. manifesting an sp is only hard if you make it hard, which you are clearly doing. however, worry not - that’s very fixable!!

first of all, forget all the fights and dramas from the past. that’s the old story, we don’t need that. you get to decide from this moment on how your relationship is with your sp. whether he is ignoring you and never wants to see you again, or he’s literally on his knees for you and after you all the time is fully up to you. you get to decide!

now, with regards to your message i think there’s 2 main takeaways i want to clarify for you. first, the law of assumption works based off of your assumptions, therefore, you’re only ‘doing too much or too little’ if you assume you are. you literally get to pick how to manifest for yourself so i suggest you to figure out what you like and simply decide that that’s what works for you to manifests, and roll with it! trust me, there’s no such thing as doing too much or doing too little, as long as you’re not wavering and checking the 3d.

which brings me on to my next point. you’re checking the 3d wayyyy to much. how do you expect him to conform the way you want if you affirm for 2 seconds and then check your phone and complain he hasn’t texted you? instead, ignore time. once you’ve affirmed that he’s always texting you and loves you more than anything, stick to that and ignore everything else. let go of time, anytime you start to feel anxious just shut it down. wdym he hasn’t texted you? yes he has. once you start affirming, you have to be disciplined and recognise that things are a certain way in your 4d because you said so (this is the true reality!!!), and anything you see in your 3d that doesn’t reflect that, is not real!!

in short, my best advice for you is to just let go of the past, decide what you want for your future, and then stick with it. go straight to the end, babe, persist no matter what and be damn stubborn until you get what you want.

you’ve got this!! <333

[dream-this-nightmare-over]

Kit Harington imagine part 2

If you like this, or if you dont, check out my other stories on wattpad (you might find something you like)!!!

Rest of my imagines/one shots you can find in my wattpad book Imagines that is being filled continuously by new stories.

Enjoy!

Friend from seven seas away and seven summers ago visited to return my pin and remind me why our love will never die

He came one day in january or was it december

I dont know. I dont count my mistakes anymore

He came with cold bite northern clutch

He came to wish me merry christmas

But we both knew he was carrying velvet box that became part of his every pocket

He still looks for me in crowds and next to him when lonliness hits, he upturned entire garden and smashed all mirrors in home that is more sanctuary than paradise, but still he hasnt found origin nor end of his anger carved in plaster of fustration peeling layers funny how once it finds soil you can never get to the bottom of it despite being the host. You feed your insanity because it keeps you from losing it all together, madness is not product; its perpetuer that gave name to reaction of defying to succumb to ilogic in matrix, bear the name of enemy trick to outcast the unwanted in system more easily. Am i being too harsh? Who would love me with mindset that sees fire under snow, enemies in parents, friends in taken, home in forest, liberation in thunder, imagination as only religion that can deliver, rhymes as confessions of unspoken sacred poem why you cant see vials are not only way to bleed the person and leave a heart dry cooled off skeletonial construction a churred hull nothing can grow from no one to call it a home. I am exiled from my own heart. ( i listened to others too much and wrote not enough lock picks to get me out of prison my mind fortified around who i am. who are we? Slimy grey liquer they pick apart under microscope or etheral reflection of stars? I have to be more than this materalisation of doomed for failure)

He had big fireplace. We used to sit there on thick plush carpet pondering over meaning of it all. Him drinking, me watching his throat move with every gulp, high on sadness. Mind you, i didnt know david yet, nor his metaphorical perfection eclipsed my every romance thought. Kit was everything i wasnt, yet my stream of conscious always met his; i watched him with adoration that comes when you are exposed to art for the first time. I went to museums before, but I was never allowed this close. Sometimes we would be joined by other fallen fellows. And we would drink for all the lovers who will never return affection for pain of loving them in silence. No one ever cared for my heart enough to show me love can be burden divided. Meeting them, showed me happy endings live on screen and in pages that dont spill in reality that is same losing sanity game for most people. Only reason there wasnt shortage of bandages, was because we were all liars, inheriteted strategies, hiding the wound smilling while bleeding, sooner die than let someoe see. But he saw me.

My best friend alex was dead for some time when my first friend came to our northern town. It was seventeenth day of christmas, harbour cafe bars were adorned in fairy lights, carols were mixing with generic mandatory christmas pop songs down the street, cinamon and clover drifting from patiseries on corners, ships and gullys christms trees wraped at bottom with blanket of frozen sea that will keep them stuck here in this fairytale wilderness till spring awakens with yawn that will run cracks along sleeping hardened earth and everybody will throw away their coats elsewhere in the world but not here, here cold lives with us, in cracks on pavement and drinks served with mittens.

He wonders if thats all thats left of me, if i took it little to literelly, to settle in place and make it home, lose yourself so they like you or go where they are like you.

I never told him about alex. He heard i moved on replaced our love with new friends, and i still dont know if i broke his heart when he told me to move on and i didnt fight for him to stay, he told me to be happy to find another crowd and i let him go like he didnt teach me meaning of patient love.

He was wrong. I didnt become cold. It claimed me before we parted ways. But my past is now under frozen slates of harbour and i would do everything so spring never comes; my past is burried in grave in forest that still sings hymes to my crimes; my past is more me than i am me today. I am ruthless wind he leaves windows open when blowing, because he likes the sound of things shattering, it muffles the wails of his heart that lies in pieces; i am words my father is horrified to hear and in his ignorance that he graces me with calls them bullshit, while i pour my heart out of every truth because lies have pulled the rope too tight around my throat around my mind around my heart i am running in circles so i write write write get it all out hoping one day words will get me out of my head and into sunlight that wont hurt; i am my enemy and i hate both of them.

He was in jacket and his curls were wild and untamed. We met in the middle of the street, greeting with usual teasing like no time has passed at all. Even then i knew time didnt steer him right into my path by pure coincadance. I was mad, you see. My mind tortured by reality it didnt recognize as authority over its wandering nature that seized every moment to escape in carefully created daydream retreat that had its foundations planted on drive home from party where boy with curls another kid that didnt believe anymore in happy endings, got so wasted that he never again remembered how he changed my life with just one conversation.

He had his demons. And i was getting familiar with knowledge they come in various shapes, and that no one escapes their acquantace; he tried to drown them. I never fully understood depth of misery that can carve a home in every surface underneath skin, settle there and dig further into essence of your being, with every hit more desperate to get to the heart where child hides, until alex died and i was left with his and mine demons and they were one and the same; where kit was my tragic counterpart whose sadness and anger matched mine if not in level of poisoning yet, in lonliness we exiled ourselves when we realised we are becoming poison ourselves; alex was romantic notion life can get better if you surround yourself with people who are in sync with your heart, who know not to leave you alone when you withdraw.

Kit knew when i needed silence; but alex knew i needed life too.

He said i left my pin at his place all those years ago and that he thought i should have it back. Or he just needed excuse to see me. He could've gone further north and see polar lights if he needed to feel me.

"i am not going up there again. Besides, you arent spirit yet."

Yet, i bet i haunt his dreams neverthless.

I turn my attention to golden pin i started turning over in my hand, inspecting siides like its not memento i used to keep on a bedside cupboard for years, just so I don't have to meet his teddy bear gaze. I cant afford to go back there. Cheap prop replica from some book series popular while i was still in school. More than a fandom triffle.

Relic of hope.

He carries shadow in his pockets, i have then too many to tell when one leaves me. Is love I stomped out under northern lights, somewhere out there or still in us?

He closed my fingers over it with his and held them there then pulled me in bearhug. He still smells like home.

We walked around town, christmas market and tivoli lights, shoulders brushing, pin heavy in pocket of my coat, Christmas carols and cinnamon in air, I don't remember he ever came to visit me back in day when I was just designated driver and he was the cool kid who befriended me.

II.

"Can i stay with you?" I whisper.

"Always" cookies are brittle i can hear him chewing on bite. Box between us is almost empty. I can see blades of grass underneath plastic bottom.

"I-" I have no where else to go.

"I know."

Ofc he does.

Past remembers its scars.

Your pain recognizes mine

"I left all my words with you"

"I came to remind you that words arent expendable goods."

Now he is talking funny. Like we arent living in the same world. "Words arent goods. No one wants to trade with them anymore."

"You call yourself ruthless. Be imposer, make them obey new rules."

"Its too late for revolutions"

"Its never too late for new ideas"

"I dont want to wait till I am one step from grave to make my name; i want to enjoy my fame. I want to enjoy life, is that too much human asks for on only planet it can survive?"

"Maybe there is reason why no other bio system wants us"

"Do you think they are so inhospitable because we lived on all those places already and ruined them like we are doing to earth, but cant remember for some reason?"

He turns all the way on his side to look at me. We are laying in patch of meadow left behind alex's old house now empty but for couple of bird nests under roof and broken windows, shards of remaining glass like jaws standing on guard clinging on frame warning signs little too late.

yesterday there were six teeth in downstair frame now there are four, three on porch where there were five two nights ago, none left in doors. I count every change knowing damn well nothing will change. But birds built a nest, badger was on windowsill couple of days ago, and branches started to enter thtough upstairs bedroom window that used to be his sister's.

Will his family ever call again? Will they ever know it ruined me to lose him? Will i ever grow bigger than my pain, or kit's tangable grief for my tragedies i make myself go through just to feel something, for who i used to be and who i have become, grief i feel is treathning to spill but he keeps it to himself for my sake, because there is box in his pocket that i cursed, coffin will rot, diamonds are forever, i should have known before i created his burden; will his grief be echo i will never outrun, only partner in crime, whisper mocking my shadow even in darkest places, forever would take to dismantle the pity behind the mask and they would still bring it up in eulogy to kill me one last time; Is grief only kind of tree that will ever surrand me in any forest i run to; i want to pin him to ground catch him off guard hit him until i beat that pity out of his warm brownies and melted choclated chip eyes that were never supposed to be found by prophectic lies my demons spread around, they were never supposed to locate that corner of my mind, my sadness was never supposed to grow bigger than his, he was the one who was supposed to save me when tide got too rough pull me out bring me back with his breath in my lungs, not show up from nowhere one ordinary winter afternoon after no call for years, ghost of christmas except this is the season i love the most, and he came to take away my fairy lights too early, he showed up like some king of north in black tight jeans and black jacket and black curls glistening on icy sun that puts jewels in his eyes, to tell me he is cutting the tie, all wrapped in his sad puppy smirk a charm i ripped away ftom my bracelet and now he is paying me back for thinking i can just kill part of myself without holding a funeral and writing an eulogy worth a dime or two or seven, no one will understsnd i want to tell him no one was there but he thrusts my pin in my hand and choice of words takes me back when he made love to me in one of alternative endings i created by sheer power of will to banish his pieces scatter our sin so he can never again haunt me in all his glory, dreams devoid of his warmth, imposed detachment, and did i save my sanity? I found new faces to finish me, argubly they took up where he leff off, for he loved me too much to ruin me when there was still enough hope i could become something more; all the names that took his place at table, gave me fairytales and adventures he never belived in, respite i needed, my indulgment was my ruination for i lost the grip on anything real, to run away from sorrowful conversations, to dance at parties and be crowned as kings and queens of town of my dreams, but he put himself back together to remind me everything needs to be immortalised in reality if i wish to stay hidden in my mind.

"Your mind is gold pot. Exploit the depths and wonders of your mine. "

"i am trying. Is that why you came? To guilt trip me?"

Of course he lays claim on my royalties. He created me, my madness, this frantic writing that never meets ending, all the ideas and pieces of conversations burried in piles of notes that mount to nothing because my mind is wounded animal running from society on too many places in same time, standing in front of his doors walking away letting myself in after he leaves i lay on carpet he changed nothing room is cold memories are charred coal in fireplace i just want his skin on mine as close as it gets i dont want to be myself make me forget i am real.

"I dont know where you are going with this" crow flew over us, it didn't even screech and I wondered what we look like to her; two bodies sprawled in grass, admiring sky, two skeletons with beating heart and tummies full of cookies and gummy bears, two humans: too big of a bite or not worth the bother?

"You got rusted"

He never misses the beat. "You havent used me in a while"

"There were others"

"You need to stop. This convo has run its course"

"I cant. i promised myself i will finish this tonight"

"Who am i if i dont write?"

He echoes my thoughts then settles with arm under his head staring back at stars above that dont care if we make it or die in sleepy towns working dead end jobs just to get money that will never be enough to pay for a new life somewhere far away where dreams lead the way.

Sky got painted over and stars vanished from outline.

"I am scared kit."

"We all are, kid"

"You wanted to shag me. I am not kid"

"I wanted to marry you too"

"They are all kids, those boys i imagine to help myself fall asleep. They never know me"

"Do you know yourself?"

"Does anyone?"

"Pondering over existential questions is surely not going to clear the picture"

I lost my best friend, kit! I want to scream in his stupid smug face. I want to know why! Not everyrhing is about you having superiror insight to backstage of all the revelations just so you can call quits on all your emotions you dont want to face and call them all bs because you are just as immuture as me and you wish happy endings exist but you prefer to live in pain because you are afraid of change and everyone is loser to you if they care because you kit, you are afraid to love and let yourself feel smth unless you know you can win!

Hello, i am your mirror. Glad we got here finally.

Car ride candies left on seat liquor in veins neon road you kissed me dont you remember we caught a taste of happy ending for passing second devoured by time, am I selfish for calling you out or you are for coming back around just when I thought I was getting better?

"I am scared there will come a day when you wont come right away"

"Past never forgets"

"But humans do"

"I am not real, y/n"

"I am talking about myself"

"Your dreams are entangled with thought of me; i have showed you how it can be, you cant forget what makes your soul alive"

I play with pin in my hand, caress the outlines, ridges and edges, my fingers remember the pattern the hope the comfort

But i dont feel the spark

World is as it is

Empty without my friend

"Here you can have it", i hold the golden thing in air between us. I see top of trees through tarnished circlet, i see myself flying away carried by the winds that tell me of my friend's last words, i see releasing those in my head, i see saving everyone left, i see peace clearer than ever.

"It kept me safe, now is your turn"

Save me i think the world is slipping from underneath me

Why does everything new feels like end of world, tell me i can bring myself with me wherever i go tell me i dont have to leave myself behind tell me its one thing that never changes tell me i can carry myself along until i become the most free version of myself tell me my life is not over yet tell me i am not dead just because things change tell me its just a start tell me i will get out eventually tell me you will be there on both sides.

He takes my head between his palms like he always did, and places a kiss on my forehead, and as i am falling into him for the last time, i find it funny how body remembers what heart had to kill to stop thinking about, shooting all the stars from the sky to put what it wants the most on the furthest shelf away from itself, my beautiful love will my heart when it hears yours finally know answer to why when the path is right, it gets twisted and complicated why then monsters wake up and forest gets dark?

He holds me and we stay that way while world is crying out its last but we know too much by now to help and prolong its death; let it go to sleep, let us be at peace, with new dawn maybe some better world will be born. (in which i will be more than dissapointment)

He knows i cant hurt him, he knew it will take me this long to write it all down, he knows he can come back anytime, he knows my mind is too far gone for anyone to find me....so he lets me go at last.

When the first drop of rain hits his lips, he says "amen (go in peace)."

[mrpenguinpants]

Xiao: First Kiss HCs

I’m so sorry it took me actually forever to reply to you. But I really hope you like this and it was somewhat worth the wait;; I tried really hard but ty for liking my Xiao content and yes! Let’s be absolute trash for Xiao. In this house we only believe in Xiao supremacy 💕💕

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Semi Part 1: Friendship

Semi Part 2: Falling in Love

Semi Part 3: Cuddles

Semi Part 4: Protective

Semi Part 5: Affection

Semi Part 6: Jealously

Semi Part 8: Opposites Attract

Semi Part 9:  String of Fate [Soulmate] HCs

Semi Part 10:  [ Fainting ]

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Childe Ver: First Kiss HCs

Venti & Kaeya: Mistletoe HCs

Venti, Xingqiu, and Razor: Kissing HCs

Considering how many more Xiao fics I need to write. This semi part link might not be a good idea lol. Also let’s ignore if I wrote in a kiss in a previous post haha.

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[taglist]  <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

@hanniejji​​  @mikeysbike​​ @unionwitch​​ @musekala​​ @twistedsunnshiii​​ @stanzastic​ @akaasea​​ @xoneaboveallx​​ @adoring-ghost​​ @asheseiler​​ @childelover​​@youaskedfurret​​ @snowy224

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Xiao: First Kiss HCs

When you and Xiao first got together. It was a slow and steady process of learning each other boundaries and what felt comfortable. Xiao knew he was a difficult partner but you loved him and even becoming his friend was a slow and worthwhile adventure. It started off small leading from small handholding, to cuddling, to showing each other affection. But the one area that you both weren’t familiar in was kisses. He was an isolated adepti and you were an adventurer. You didn’t have any experience in being kissed and Xiao sure as hell didn’t either. Plus it was a lot more intimate and nerve wracking compared to holding hands and that was an hard hill to tackle in itself.

You didn’t mind that he wasn’t comfortable with initiating affection or never went in or talked about kisses. You were just happy that he was by your side and that your love was reciprocated. That he was comfortable in your presence and seemed content in your arms. It still made you a bit giddy when you reflected on how far you both came and that was enough for you. Xiao, on the other hand, couldn’t exactly say the same. While he was happy and he was content, he couldn’t help but feel that maybe your relationship was too one-sided? He knew that you were comfortable and okay with waiting for him to work out his issues and figuring out how to love again but he also really wanted to do more. He just wasn’t sure how to start.

It suddenly dawned on him one day when he saw you off on your next journey, that he had never really kissed you. Even a small goodbye kiss. It was usually you initiating affection or giving words of love and you always told him that it didn’t matter if he said it or not. His actions said more which always made him flush a bit. But on slow and quiet days where you were off on another adventure and Liyue was calm, he couldn’t help but let his mind wander to you. To your face, your bright eyes that would light up whenever you talked about the interesting sights you saw on your journey, the curve of your nose whenever he tapped it when you started to ramble on to much, your lips and how they would spread into a soft smile when it was just the two of you.

Xiao quickly flipped himself up into a sitting position and groaned into his hands. What was happening to him? He needed to take a walk to clear his mind again. He’s been going out a lot since he met you. He had faced an army of demons and fought in a war and yet this felt like the hardest challenge of his entire thousand year long life. He could almost hear Guizhong’s laughter at his predicament and her words of wisdom saying to take whatever problem he had and face it head on. Just without his spear. The spear needs to stay home.

So the next time you visited Wangshu Inn he asked for you to close your eyes. You complied but you were surprised, sitting by the railing facing Liyue up on the balcony. Was he going to gift you something? This was the first time he asked you to close your eyes but you trusted him. You could almost feel the anxiety waving off Xiao so you kept quiet and patient and waited for him to be ready.

He was ready. He could do this. You weren’t even looking at him so what was there to be worried about? He slowly leaned in, just hovering above your lips. But then he leaned back a bit, flushing red. He nearly chewed his lip before stopping since you probably didn’t want to taste blood. It wasn’t that he wasn’t ready or he thought that you would hate it, he was just nervous in messing up. What if his accidently transformed? What if he accidently pushed you off the railing? Even worse, what if someone showed up and saw you both like this?

Turns out he didn’t need to worry. Somewhat. Zhongli, who Xiao knew now was actually Rex Lapis in disguise, made a sudden appearance behind him. The whiplash of suddenly seeing his Master, the nervous butterfly’s fluttering in his stomach, and pep talk Xiao was trying to pound into his mind made him suddenly lurch forward and kiss you deeply. A bit too deeply as his little fangs nipped at your bottom lip.

“Zhongli!?”

“Rex Lapis?!”

You both quickly broke apart as your eyes flew open when you heard the man but also surprise at the sudden but, not completely unpleasant, pain and pressure on your lips. You could almost see the soul leave Xiao’s body when he spun around to see the surprised Zhongli. It was silent for a moment, all three of you just staring at each other. You were still processing what the hell just happened, Xiao was trying to find a way to astral project, and Zhongli was computing the fact that yes, the ever grumpy and “don’t touch me” yaksha both had a lover and was in the middle of...courting.

“Oh. My apologies. I wasn’t aware you were both occupied. I shall take my leave and visit another day then.” Zhongli simply nodded and left before you or Xiao could say anything. You both stared at the empty figure of where Zhongli was before you started to burst into laughter at the situation. You really felt bad, you did honestly, but with all the overwhelming emotions you couldn’t help but laugh.

“I’m...sorry. I didn’t know he was going to visit today,” Xiao muttered as he pressed his hand into his face and groaned at the embarrassing moment. You could see the tips of his ears were getting redder by the second which made you chuckle. For such a fearsome Yaksha he was really cute sometimes.

“It’s okay Xiao. I don’t mind. But are you alright?” you stifled the last of your giggles and reached out to pull him closer and remove his hand from his red face before cupping his cheek. He huffed but leaned into your hand. He really was sometimes like a cat.

“Are you hurt? Was I...too forward?” Xiao asked but he still wouldn’t look you in the eye. The floor was very interesting this afternoon. Wood was nice. Wood was good.

“No! It was...nice,” you answered, starting to go a bit pink yourself now before you felt a stinging pain in the corner of your lip, “Ah. I think you might accidently bit my lip though.”

“I see,” Xiao was now looking at you with his piercing eyes as he watched your small pink tongue brush over the corner of your bottom lip. His attention began to focus on that small part as the world seem to narrow down. Just the two of you. But unlike when you both would lie on top of the inn and watch the sun go down he felt hungry.

“Do you-”

Before you could ask anything Xiao suddenly pounced and pressed his lips against yours in a heated kiss. He took you by surprise but you quickly recovered as you gripped the purple ribbon on his back and yanked him forward as his hands slammed against the railing, trapping you. You felt his tongue press against your lips as you slowly opened them to let him in. It was overwhelming and you were sure if you hadn’t been grabbing onto the purple ribbon you would have fell over but then a sudden deep rumble snapped you out of your trance.

“Xiao? Are you...Are you purring?” you giggled when you got a tiny but of separation from the lack of air but he frowned at you, really it looked more like a pout, before leaning over once again.  Just barely brushing over your lips as he whispered

“Meow”

---

This isn’t even OOC anymore. I feel like I’m writing a fucking k-drama right now, what am I doing anymore? English? Huh? I do not compute.

I’ve just awakened something in me with Cat! Xiao and I am flying with it (and casually ignoring lore. Isn’t he a bird?). Heading straight for the stratosphere and you cannot stop me. Just gonna hide away in shame now don’t look at me.

Okay. Time to commit sleep for uh 2 hours lol. I’m really tired but I feel kinda proud of myself haha. Tomorrow’s fics are going to be Venti, Lisa and Diluc pairing, and Venti and Barbara pairing. Good night!

Oh, and yes there is a lot more Xiao content to come and uhh might continue this cat!xiao idea. Unless that’s too weird. I’m sorry don’t shame me pls 😰

my god tumble just work. i dont want to deal with you and your tags. 

[nanaminsonyfans]

Comfort Headcanons

masterlist

a/n; not requested but i need this rn. its more of a vent piece rather than anything else. as for the second half, those are personally all my thoughts and worries with my scars. like a i, a vent piece.

warning; mention of periods, s*lf harm, scars, and poor body image.

Being on your period with him

Mark

Mark came home late as usual to see you clutching his sweater he wore everyday. You were curled up in the fetal position and groaning. You looked almost dead. He got worried immediately.

"Y/n, baby." He whispers softly, wrapping his arms around you, not even bothering to take his super-suit off. You smiles a little at the comfort and warmth of him against your back and waist.

"Yes?" "What's wrong?" "Cramps...." You mumble, almost embarrassed. What if he didnt want to be around you. Even though you've been dating forever, and you usually stay at his place, that fear was always in the back of your head.

"Period?" You just nod, chewing the inside of your cheek. "What are you craving?" He was so sweet, even if you weren't craving anything and told him so, he would still get you something.

"The frozen yogurt from that place in Australia." You mumble and he gets up. "I'll be right back with that, then I'll change and cuddle. Deal?" You smile at him, he loves your smile so much.

"Deal."

Rex

Rex had been cuddling you back at the Guardian headquarters. He knew of your monthly, tracked it even. He may be a douche but he cares for his s/o.

So here he was, holding the heating pad against your waist, rubbing the balls of your hips softly. His hands were rough from being a hero but, sometimes it was nice.

The way you were secure in his arms made you feel safer than ever. You're blinks got more slow as you tried to watch the movie with your boyfriend. He chuckled softly, your back vibrating being of his laugh.

"Baby, just sleep...you'll feel better if you do." "But....'anna....'end time 'ith yous..." You slur, half awake. "You are babe. Now sleep...." Rex kisses your head softly, earning a hum from you.

"g'night...."

He sees your SH scars for the first time

Mark

You two had been dating for awhile. Not long enough to have sex just yet but, long enough to have heavy make outs. But currently you weren't doing that.

It was Mark's birthday and you took him to your family's lake house. William, Eve, and Amber came too. It was easier to convince your parents that way.

You stared at your reflection in the mirror.

The swimsuit was cute, it suited any body type, but it showed a little too much...of your hips for your liking. You shook your head.

You did everything to try and get rid of the scars. Coconut oil? didnt work. Foundation? Also didnt, pls you were going swimming. Bandages? too obvious-

You were snapped out of your thoughts when there was a knock on the door.

"Hey, Y/n, you gonna come out yet?" "In-In a second!" You panicked. Fuck! You cant go out. it went from your hip to a little bit of your thigh. He was gonna fucking notice-

"Are you okay? I'm coming in-" "No dont-!"

He came in. At first he was awestruck by you. You looked amazing in that! His eyes wondered and he saw.

Yeah you had a few scars on your arms, but those healed, they werent as discolored as the ones on your hips. Didn't help that you would basically relapse every other week.

"Y/n-" "I-I know...you probably think I'm ugly an-and an attention whore and you dont want to be with me anymore. That's fine- i wouldn't want me either-"

His soft fingers trailed across the scars. Mark placed a small kiss on your forehead, a small yet sympathetic smile.

"I love you. Nothing will change that. Okay?" He says with those amazing eyes. Eyes that were telling the truth.

"Okay."

Rex

This man was handsy. So if you relapsed, the next day he knew, or he knew something was up. You opened up about it once, but he said he didnt care, as long as you were okay.

You weren't okay.

After a relapse, the next day you would cuddle Rex, his hands would go to your hips and you would flinch, then wince. It stung.

You never bothered to clean it because, you deserved this. Everything bad happening to you was of your doing.

You knew you were a horrible person. You didnt know why the fuck Rex would he with someone LIKE you. What the fuck made you special? You don't deserve any of this love or happiness.

And thats why you relapse. Because you dony deserve it. You dont deserve Rex, your friends, or being a superhero.

Right now, you were cuddling Rex. You had shorts on that were riding up a tad, showing more of your thigh. You didn't notice that your scars and discoloration from said scars were visible, until Rex's thumb grazed eyes over it.

"Y/n...you said you stopped..." You thought he was disappointed in you. Who wouldn't be? Plus you fucking lied to him. But no, it was just concern.

"I-I know and im sorry." You whisper and grab his hand, pulling it away. "You probably dont want me now. I'm ugly. I'll never be as attractive as Eve or Mark or Kate or-or..."

You cried as you stumbled over your words, cursing at yourself.

"Stop it." Rex looked stern. "I love you. You could be a turtle for all i care and id still love you. Even if that is beastiality." "Turtles can speak-" "Yeah but...." You let out a small giggle.

"Whatever." Rex grumbled with a slight smile. "But, no matter what, i will love you. Forever. Okay?" You nod, hugging him. "Just....come to me next time?"

"I'll try." "That's all i ask for..."

[anordinarymuse]

I dont know if the request are Open but...can i get a fred weasley x reader friends to enemies to lovers? Where fred chose his girlfriend (in that moment) over the reader (who is his best friend) so they have a he fight because the other girl lies to fred about something of the reader and they are not best Friends anymore and fred start pranking her a lot which results on her moving to france but then she came back for her sevennth year to hogwart where she meets fred again and sparks fly?(maybe the reader had a huge glow up) with fluff and a little bit of smut

Thanks <3 (the request Turn a lot more larger than intended to)

ok so i made this a tad shorter to keep it a oneshot but i kept the details so i hope this turned out ok rip

years.

Fred Weasley x Fem!Reader

Summary : the request

Warnings : intended smut(?); fluff-ish; more of storyline idk; unedited

Word Count : 827

A/N : my tumblr is so broken on my phone i want to cry

the masterlist.

request here.

You take in a deep breath as you stare at your reflection, brushing through your hair with your fingers.

It's a new year.

This time it'll be different.

As you step back into the main bedroom it almost feels like a memory. You had spent the past two years at Beauxbaton for a program curated for you. You left Hogwarts without telling anybody, even your best friends Fred and George out of spite.

Today was the first day of classes and you had been able to steer clear of the twins so far. You weren't sure if you were quite ready to face the twins. You still weren't sure how you managed to be completely invisible for a week. Though, it probably had to do with not attending the Great Feast and arriving late.

You grab your books and take a bite of the jam and toast you stole from the kitchens at midnight. Quickly, you run out of your dorm to get to your first class.

You're part of the first handful of kids in class and you decide sit somewhere near the middle. Not too close to the front nor back.

Suddenly the thought of the twins recognizing you crosses your mind.

No, Y/N, how could they?

You've changed, remember?

It was quite true. At Beauxbaton you let go of yourself and changed up your appearance. It was just small things, nothing grave. It was things like hair color, and learning how to do your eyelashes properly that made all the difference.

"Y/N Y/L/N?" Professor McGonagall calls for your name as checks the attendance. She then looks at you with a welcoming look. "Glad to see that you're back."

As soon as your name is called you could almost feel the mountains of whispers arise from around you. You shake it off and try your best to focus on the lesson.

*****

"Y/N?" A terribly familiar voice asks as you're about to leave McGonagall's class.

You turn around taking a deep breath to prepare yourself, "Fred?"

You take a gulp as you face Fred, who towers over you. He remains just as attractive as he was when you left, which you curse over. His eyes are wide and his lips part ever so slightly.

"It's really you?"

"The one and only," you grin though a shaky laugh.

Without any hesitance Fred gives you a tight hug, "I didn't think you'd ever come back! You just left one day and we never saw you again!"

"Yeah..." you muster through a smile, remembering part of the reason you left. "So how are you? How's the lucky girl?"

"Girl?" Fred's brow furrows as the hug pulls apart. "You mean Angelina? We broke up...we broke up last summer." He bites his cheek and you realize that it's a touchy subject.

"Oh," you say without thinking, blinking your eyes in shock. Your eyes widen at what just came out of your mouth and your cheeks heat up with embarrassment. Before Fred gets a chance to intervene you pace away, nervously playing with the ends of your hair.

*****

"Why'd you leave?" Fred asks as he sits on the floor of his dorm working on his next prank object and you beside him helping him organize.

"Leave?"

"For France."

You'd been at Hogwarts for so long you'd almost forgotten you'd left at all. You'd told your parents you wanted new academic experiences, but deep down that wasn't the real reason at all.

The truth was you loved Fred, which is a stupid reason to leave a school. But you couldn't stand the way he looked at Angelina and how he talked of her. And once a fight broke out and he began getting his revenge on you, you gave up and left.

"The reason is, well, it's dumb, but," you sigh, turning to look at Fred who's entirely focused on his project. "But I left because...I loved you." You pause as you face the truth, saying it out loud. "I loved you and I was jealous at Angelina. And when we began to fight, I couldn't handle it."

Fred looks up from his tinkering and into your eyes. You bite the inside of your lip unsure of what he thinks of. The expression he was showing is one you can't read.

"Do you still?" He asks in almost a whisper.

"I-" Your heart stops for a second, did you? Even though you kept yourself away from him for two years, you did. You did still love him. "I do."

Without any hesitance, Fred leans in and caresses your cheek, pulling you in for a kiss. For a second you sit frozen in your spot, but when you register what's happening you give in.

When the kiss breaks Fred studies your eyes before he leans in for another. This time you accidentally whimper his name and we he pulls away the looks of mischief in his eyes is unmistakable.

**********

taglist : @marimorena06 @missryerye @agirlwholovescoffee @nicole198205 @blackpinkdolan @siriuspvdfoot @hufflepuffflowers-blog @thatguppienamedbae @peachykeen3502 @youngblood199456 @oranee @silly-little-bl0g @bobbyjohnsonbeat @jasgreen101 @will-to-live-who @bellatrixscurls @krishavania @wh0re4blaise @thegirlwhocriedlupin @mrsaliciamalfoy @wwweasleystan @modernvellichor @westantheweasleys @lolaperezb @zaraskyla @v4l3nt1n44 @sirisuorionblack @rinbyo @xdancinggurlx @lupinsravenclaw @hogwarts-boys @inglourious-imagines @siriuslyslyslytherin @kykymyeon @amwitherspoon @the-abyss-gazed-back @eunoia-kth @kaqua @erinruby003 @famdomhideout @malfoysbiitch @rudypankowisdaddy @famdomhideout @666cookies @i-love-scott-mccall @cedricisnotdead

[blkchainsaws]

the way life goes 🦋

I know you're sad and tired You've got nothing left to give You'll find another life to live I know that you'll get over it

THE WAY LIFE GOES - LIL UZI VERT

after a tough breakup and a fight that left you scarred, you reflect on some things.

pairing: bakugo x black!fem!reader warnings: bakugo, cussing, fighting/arguments, mentions of scars and hospitals, characters are 3rd years word count: 1.4k author note: really needed to practice angst! excuse any mistakes. i dont really like this since i feel like it's rushed pls enjoy tho <3

you laid in your bed, staring at the ceiling. the sun was peeking through, slowly making it's way into your bedroom. another sleepless night. you were thinking about him again. you were still in disbelief, you didn't want to believe it, but it happened.

he left you when you needed him the most.

you took in a deep breath. every time you thought about it, it always came to that conclusion. you would retrace your steps to see where you went wrong, how this could've been avoided but no, he truly left you when you needed him most.

you shook your head, tears slowly starting to pour out your eyes. you couldn't face reality. you were still stuck in your fantasy world. where everything was peachy and so sweet you could get cavities.

where did you go wrong? all you wanted to do was protect him.

you closed your eyes. trying to escape deeper into your world of sweet lies. you didn't want to think about it anymore but no matter how much you dug into your mind to slip back into your happy place, you kept hitting that steel wall.

it towered over you, a list of your insecurities and flaws plastered all over it. it was engraved in perfect writing. even the blind could read what was written in that wall.

you shook your head again. trying to loosen the steel wall, but all that did was cause the steel wall to tilt over and crush you. you felt the weight, you felt the cold steel pressed against your scars that covered your once smooth skin. you felt your tears pouring out at an alarming rate.

you were completely crushed. no one was there to help you escape this wall. you didn't want to see anyone. you couldn't bare to face his friends.

"he cares...he just has a way of showing it."

you squeezed your eyes shut. "then why leave me alone..." you choked out, your voice was so weak and tiny compared to the usual upbeat tone. you sounded like a broken record.

"why...why...why"

you brought your hands to your face, only to stop when you saw the remains of what was once so beautiful.

your hands were everything to him. they were soft and delicate, he loved to hold them, kiss them, and press them against his face. you could still feel his surprisingly soft skin against your hands. it was almost as if that was the ONLY thing you could feel now.

your hands were now scarred and battered, as if someone held them and balled them up into pathetic little balls of flesh. a hideous pattern of scars was layered on top of your hands. each scar was ugly and asymmetrical. nothing was pleasing. it didn't make you look cool or confident, it made you look and feel like a an abomination.

you threw your hands away from your sight...but you knew that wasn't enough.

you knew exactly how you ended up here. you were reckless.

everyone was fighting trying to protect each other. that's when you saw him, he was cornered, he told you to stay back and never interfere with his battles but you didn't listen.

you saw his eyes, they were clouded with fear and worry. your reflexes kicked in, you were so stupid.

you shouted out for him, bringing attention to yourself. something you were told multiple times to never do.

you heard multiple voices call out to you, before a flash of light and sudden darkness.

you remember waking up in the hospital. everyone, including him, was hovering over you. you couldn't remember their faces, it was all a blur, all you remember was his. he looked so disappointed and worried. you were not used to seeing that look in his face, he looked as if he didn't sleep in days, his hair was a mess, his eyes were droopy and had terrible bags under them.

the way his eyes lit up when you made eye contact. there was a brief moment of happiness between you both. until his facial features morphed into that angry expression you loved.

but there was no love behind his eyes this time. there was only venom and hatred. if looks could kill, you would've been dead.

it soon became a screaming match between you both, with everyone in the room.

you remember every phrase and every insult he threw your way.

"I TOLD YOU TO FUCKIN STAY BACK!"

"WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE?"

you relived this moment multiple times at this point. those blurry faces from before slowly started to come back, each detail in everyone's face becoming clear. you started to remember how everyone had to hold him back at one point due to how heated he was getting.

"YOU'RE JUST SO..." he trailed off. he looked away from you, a few tears dripped down his face onto his shoes. he wiped them quickly.

the room was silent and tense. his maroon colored eyes met with your (e/c) eyes.

"i can't do this anymore. you're a burden to me."

a sharp ping went throughout your chest.

"you couldn't listen to me just this once. now you're battered and useless. you may as well be quirkless at this point."

you felt your heart beat faster. your sobs were getting louder by the moment.

"you wasted your potential all because you didn't want to listen to me. you're just so stubborn and it almost cost you, your life." his eyes were so stern and...mean.

"i just can't put up with you anymore. goodbye." he turned and walked away after that and he never came back.

you waited days and days for him to visit. everyone reassured you he would be back, but you all knew, he wouldn't come anywhere near you.

you weren't the same to him anymore.

your beautiful face was now marked with a large scar that went from your chin up to your left eye, as if you were todoroki's twin. you lost so much hair you were practically balding at this point. your arms were mangled and a dull shade of your once perfect skin. your legs were still healing, thank god nothing too horrible happened to them. they were the only thing keeping you positive during this time.

it was your body that was making everything worst. you couldn't get into the details. just various stitches and scars that look as if a kid took a marker and went crazy on you.

flawless, perfect, smooth, radiant brown skin ruined. hair that took you YEARS to grow out and care for ruined. your relationship...ruined.

you were soon excused from U.A. you were too battered and useless.

the sun was still creeping up your window. you would've been up at this hour, getting ready for a day at school. you would've taken a few photos to show off your beauty.

you would've been on the phone with mina, planning out your day.

you would've been there earlier than everyone else, you lived so far away and it was the only way to make sure you never get a tardy. bakugo hated when you were late.

you would've met up with bakugo as well, and planned out your 3rd year anniversary. he would get flustered and tell you to quiet down

you would've sat with him at lunch trying to sneak a piece of his food. his cooking was so good, you loved when he brought you a bento. the spices he used, the ingredients everything was just so perfect.

you would've been training with the girls gossiping about uraraka's obvious crush on deku. seeing her pale face turn the brightest shade of red was the funniest thing.

at the end of the day, you would've walked up to bakugo a huge smile on your face as you both walked to the dorms. you would've told him all about your training, and how you were finally coming up with a hero name.

bakugo would only listen, a very small smile on his face.

you would've sat in the common area, braiding mina's hair and talking to everyone about their day and plans for tomorrow.

at the end of the night, you would've walked over to your boyfriend, wrap your arms around his neck and give him a kiss, feeling his much larger hands wrap around your waist.

you would say "I love you."

and he would say "I love you too."

you stared at the torn hero suit that hang in your closet.

you would've.

taglist: nobody yet!

[ablackfangirlwrites]

Jealous ll

Part 2!!!! I linked the sone again cause its a bop and I love it also heres pt one!

You had had enough

Thats what you kept telling yourself

As you got ready tonight

You weren't going sit in the house anymore waiting for keigo to show up whenever he felt like it

Tonight you were going out for you

You thought about how you used to have fun, how you used to be happy

And how miserable you had been lately and you decided

If Keigo didnt appreciate you anymore

Then you'd find someone who would

So thats why you found yourself looking in the mirror admiring how well you dressed up tonight to go out

You almost forgot how hot you were when you put in a little effort

You had originally stopped because keigo would tell you how beautiful and perfect you were without make up or anything

But now you were on the prowl for someone new to notice you and keigo's words meant little to nothing to you right now

Tonight you were gonna find someone to show you just a little bit of attention you craved so much and it wasnt going to be keigo

Just then you saw keigo staring at you from the reflection in mirror

he was home unusually eailer

"Dont you have to work?" You asked bitterly

"Where are you going?" He asked ignoring your statement

Sighed and rolling your eyes and picking up your purse you turned to him before leaving the bedroom, "Out. You don't have to wait up for me."

"You're being ridiculous y/n."

He said following you but you ignored him

"Y/n? Y/n?" He kept calling you, "You cant just go out an-"

"And why not?" You turned to him before you left the apartment, "according to you were not even really dating-"

"You know why that is." He told you seriously

You huffed out a fake laugh, "yeah, but its still okay for you to flirt with anyone?"

Keigo didnt respond to that making you chuckle, "Exactly...like I said im going out dont wait up." Then you slammed the door leaving.

You knew you were being unreasonable with him

You knew the two of you needed to just talk and make up

But you kept letting your anger from all your arguments cloud your judgment

Because you just wanted him to feel the same hurt and jealously you had been feeling more then anything

Keigo stared at the door you had just slammed

Things somehow got worse in the following days after your argument on your anniversary

You refused to talk to him

He tried to apologize to you but you basically brushed him off

Keigo wasn't sure what to think you said you hated him, you wouldnt sleep in the bed with him

Yet you hadn't packed up and left so that was good right?

But that distance that was growing between the two of you was wider then before

And he didnt know what to do to fix it

And now you were going out clearly dressed to find someone else

Did you really hate him? Had you really had enough of him?

Hell, he couldnt even blame you if you did he thought

You had put up with so much of him up until now

And maybe some of what you said the other night was true? Had he gotten too comfortable with you always being there?

But that was only because he loved you

Keigo was truly in love with you, and dispite you suspensions he never cheated on you

And he would never do that, you were the only one he wanted even now when you two seemed to be at each others throats

He still wanted you, and he couldn't picture his life without you

So thats why he ended up following you to the bar you were currently at

He made sure you hadnt noticed him staying in the back out of your sight

And he hated what he saw

He saw you having fun

You had met up with some of your girlfriends the three of you all laughing and drinking

You acting like you didnt have a care in the world, like the two of you didnt argue before you left out

Having a good time as if you didnt leave him alone in the house

He watched you dancing as though you were having the time of your life as other mean stared and gawked at you

He watched as a guy singled you out and was clearly flirting with you

And worst you let him and was encouraging him

You kept touching his shoulder laughing at his jokes letting him dance against you

Words couldnt describe the irritation he felt watching

He wanted nothing more then to rip that mans hands off you and fly away with you in his arms

But part of him felt like he deserved this

This feeling he had, was it how you felt?

If so he needed to fix this, was all that he could think

And he was about to go to you, but before he could someone called out his name

"Hey! Hawks is here!"

Fuck he said to himself when a crowd started to form around him

His eyes then connected with yours knowing you heard he was here

And for a moment he thought you were gonna come up to him

But instead you kept talking to the random guy ignoring him

Hawks wanted to go to you and talk to just take you back home

But was having trouble getting away from the crowd

He was all smiles talking to his fans but the whole time he kept his eyes on you

But somehow it became a battle to see who was going to be more stubborn

You continued to dance with the random guy, but now you knew keigo was here watching you

You convinced yourself not to care, you came here to have fun and he wasnt going to ruin it for you

But thats just what he was doing as you watched him talk to some random girl now

He was here to get under you skin, you were sure of it

But two could play this little game

Both of you having this little war with each other watching each other from across the room

And you couldnt lie you were enjoying it a bit

Seeing his eyes watching you, knowing he had to be feeling the sting of jealousy as another man held you close

But It all came to a head when you saw the girl he was dancing with lips on his neck

He wasnt looking at you when you saw that all his attention clearly on her

You couldn't deny the sharp feeling in your chest at the sight

And not wanting to see anymore you left the dance floor telling the guy you needed to go to the bathroom

Hawks pulled away from the handsy fan

Denying anymore of her advances

Yeah he had been trying to get under your skin now but thats was a bit much

But now when he looked up to find you again, only to see you were gone

His stomach sank

Where did you go? You had to had just seen that?

Did you leave with that guy? Hawks started to panic when he didnt seem him either

Where did you go? Why was he being so stupid just now? He should have just went to talk to you

Just then keigo noticed the guy you had been flirting with at the bar and went up to him

"The girl you were dancing with? Where'd she go?"

The guy looked at him like he was crazy "whats it too you?" He challenged him

But keigo wasnt in a playful mood and grabbed the man by the collar, "Answer the question asshole."

The guy quickly put his hands up in defeat, "she just said-

"Hawks?"

He heard his name called out and looked behing him to see you

"What are- you are so unbelievable." Yku shook your head storming off

You couldn't believe him he had the audacity to attack the guy you had been talking to

It didnt take much thought to figure out why

And it annoyed you to no end

So keigo could flirt and let girls kiss all over him but if you had a guy around you that was too much

He was such a hypocrite

You were angry your whole way back home

You stood in the mirror once you got back

But with a different feeling in your stomach then the feeling you had before you left

You felt defeated your plans of fun had been ruined and you felt like your back in the same spot you had been in

Hawks was giving you a little bit of space taking his time getting back home

Because now you were probably madder than before at him

When hr got in he saw you had just got out the shower

"Y/n..."

You heard him call out your name But you ignored him

Y/n, you have to listen to me."

You werent going to turned around but before you knew it he hugged you from behind

"Im sorry."

"Let go of me hawks." You spat out but he didnt budge

"Just listen to me y/n..."

"Why are we doing this to each other?" You asked quietly, "Why do you keep hurting me? What are we even doing? It clearly isnt wor-"

"Ive been an idiot, y/n."

Keigo buried his face in your neck, "I've been so stupid, but please please dont leave me."

You were trying to fight back tears, "I dont want to leave you keigo....but I cant-"

"Dont say you can't with me anymore. I need you." Keigo pleaded holding you tighter

You were so frustrated

You still loved him, you still wanted to be with him, because when things are good between you they're great

But the way your relationship had been it was becoming too much

But you wanted to stay with him

Because you loved him

You moved your hands and held on to his arms secretly enjoying his embrace that you missed so much

"I know you mean well keigo-"

"I love you so much y/n," keigo cut you off again, "I know ive been an asshole, ive been neglectful, ive been the worst, but dont give up on me. Please."

You finally turned around to face him and hugged him back

You could see the sincerity in his eyes as you did "I love you too keigo but I just cant do this- we keep hurting each other...thats not what your supposed to do to the people you love."

Keigo pulled back "You want me to tell everyone about us? I will." He told you, "You want me to tell you everything ive been doing I will, I promise you Ill to whatever it takes to fix us. I dont want to live the way we have anymore."

You knew he was serious and your heart leaped hearing his words but you werent sure

"You're the only one I want y/n" he said giving you a light kiss

Almost like he was asking for permission

"Ill do whatever it takes for you to forgive me."

He said inbetween kisses, "you're so important to me, im sorry i made you think you weren't."

You couldnt lie he was finally saying everything you wanted to hear

And you wanted to believe him

"You promise?" You asked him

"I promise."

[spicy-tomato]

yall want angst? no? to bad here you go

based on the song redecorate by twenty one pilots

Seein snapshots chronologically in line

After the butcher army took techno away you couldnt handle anything anymore. Everything made you think of him from the way the dust fell over the book he left on the nightstand to the way the ashes sat in the bottom of the fireplace. You hadnt left your room, opting to stay as close to him as you could.

Something told him he should look around and tidy up

As you look around once more you see just how much of a mess the room had become, tissues and broken glass litter the floor of the room you once shared with him. You eyes sting from just how long you had been crying, had it been hours? Days? You lost track of time as soon as you saw him in the chains as they dragged him away from his house, from your house.

Flat on his back but he still heard the directive

“Stay here my persephone, dont make a sound. If they find you, run. Dont try to save me, save yourself first.'' That was the last thing techno said to you before he walked out to meet them in the snow covered field next to the house. The last words you feared he would ever say to you.

Never asked permission, just hopes that they forgived

You knew if he saw you like this he would be upset, he never liked seeing you cry, especially if it was over him. He loved seeing your smile, your laugh and how bright your eyes got when you talked about your day. Now that he was gone all you could do was cry. No one was there to hold you and tell you it was going to be okay, no one there to kiss your hand and wipe your tears.

Blankets over mirrors, she tend to like it

You had put all the blankets from the bed over what was left of the mirrors, once they had taken him you had broken them. You couldnt stand to look in them for fear of what you would see, so you broke them and covered the rest with the blankets you would both sleep under. They still smelled like him.

Shes not afraid of her reflection, but of what she might see behind it

You went to pick up the glass, looking at yourself in the dust and dirt covered shard. You saw him behind you, kissing your neck after he finishes putting your hair up for you, he backs away and disappears. You drop the shard and turn around, not hearing the audible shatter of the already destroyed shard as you look for him, only to find nothing.

She had plans to change her name, just not the traditional way

Before they had taken him you were both lying on the couch, him holding you to his chest as he played softly with your hair. “One day i want you to change your name.” you look up at him confused. “Why would you want that? I thought you liked my name?” you say with a curious tone, he just chuckles and moves a hand to cup your cheek. “I do, but it would sound so much better with my last name.”

She covers all the dents with the way she decorates

Phil had sent crows to check on you since he was on house arrest still, leaving you in constant fear of them reporting back to him how hard you were taking this. You would move furniture to cover the holes you made in the wall from punching it, turn pillows over to hide the blood stains from when you used them to stop your bleeding knuckles. Blankets were neatly folded over chairs to hide how the inside was torn to shreds because of how you couldnt forget sitting in his lap in that very chair while he read to you.

Then one night, she got cold with no blankets on her bed so she ripped them off the mirror

That night had been one of the worst since they took him, a snow storm hitting harder than you predicted, leaving you shaking without the warmth of the blankets you used to hide your reflection in the broken memories on the wall. You stand up and rip one down, almost taking the mirror with it. You get a peak at what you look like, eyes bloodshot and skinnier than you should be. Your ribs were showing and your hair was greasy and matted all over, not to mention how bad you probably smelled from not showering since he left--no, since he was ripped from your arms.

He says he likes an open schedule, but he mostly hates it

Since he had been gone, you were free to do as you pleased, not like you werent able to before but you felt more comfortable staying closer to the house. As phil sent more crows and letters you would write back, saying you were going out and doing things and trying to live a normal life. That was a lie. You could barely get out of bed at this point and it hurt to even think about leaving the house without him being there to keep you safe.

I dont wanna die like this, at least let me clean my room

As the storm raged on outside you couldnt take it anymore, you stood up and ripped the rest of the blankets off the mirrors, causing most to come crashing down and covering the floor with the rest of the glass that was left in them. You screamed and cried, punching the walls and ripping the pillows and sheets to shreds. If you couldnt have him you didnt want to have to live with the memories of him always being there. You couldnt handle it.

I dont wanna leave like this

You couldnt do it, you kept crying and ruining everything, not caring if one of the crows saw you. You had finally broken. Nothing mattered anymore, not without him. Nothing would ever mean as much to you as he did.

Should i keep it on display

You make your way to the bottom floor, throwing vases and potion stands, glass bottles and everything else you could find across the room. You pick up one thing and look at it before throwing it, seeing you and techno looking back at you. You fall to the floor as you hold the photo in your hands, it was from the first time you went to the flower fields. You had put a flower in his hair and were working on making him a crown while he stares at you with pure love. You could remember that moment perfectly as you look at it.

Or redecorate

Without a second thought, you scream louder and throw the photo into the long dead fireplace, the glass shattering and filling the ashes and the photo falling face down onto the ash. You cry and cry and cry until you cant form any more tears. So you lay there heaving and screaming, not hearing anything other than your heaving and crying. Nothing could make you feel better. You let him go. You didnt even try to save him. It was your fault and you knew it.

[boomboombakugou]

big 3 reacting to reader wanting to break up when they thought they were doing great?

Big 3’s Reaction to You Wanting to Breakup

~Izuku Midoriya~

Izuku was so excited to see all you all the time. He tried to make as much time for you as possible between all his training. Though your hangouts would be cut short sometimes, he’d always try to make up for it.

Y/N: hey can you come to my room rq

Y/N: if you aren’t busy

He only saw the text about an hour later because he was training.

He replied immediately and apologized for answering so late the second he got to your room.

You looked sad.. or worried. He couldn’t make out the expression. “What’s wrong?” He asked. The sound of his voice made this even harder for you.

You held your face in your palms. Just rip off the bandaid, you thought. You stared him straight in his eyes, “I.. I don’t think we should be together anymore. I think we should break up.”

There was a silence. He started at you. You stared at him. “Why..” He started, but couldn’t finish. You started to explain but he cut you off with his rambling, “I thought- I thought everything was going good! I’m so sorry. I can- I can.. What did I do? Y/N I swear whatever it was, it wasn’t intentional. What can I do better?”

This was so much harder than you thought. You could see tears welling up in his eyes. Yours had already started falling. “Oh no! No why are you crying?” He asked. That made you cry even harder. This wasn’t the first time you guys had cried together. He was always so caring and it made you reflect on all your good times together.

“Izuku I love you, I do. It’s just... so hard. It’s so hard being in a relationship where you’re never there. I hate- I hate having to spend days alone. I hate that we can’t go on dates. We can’t even hang out for more than 10 minutes. I just want a full day with you, but you’re so like-” You stop yourself before you say something you don’t mean.

Another silence. He’s still just staring at you. You can’t tell if he’s looking for what to say or for you to say more, so you just continue, “It’s not even just that. You aren’t the problem. I don’t want you to think that. I feel like I’m just holding you back. There’s so much that I wanna do with you, but it would stop you from becoming the hero you want to be. And I’m not strong enough to train with you either so I’m really just a burden. I don’t want you to feel obligated to do anything, but I also can’t just put my needs aside.” And with that, a huge weight is lifted off your shoulder.

He hasn’t blinked. He doesn’t want you to see him cry. “You aren’t. You aren’t holding me back.. I just-” He stops himself. He can’t even think of anything to say because you’re completely right. He isnt fit for a relationship and he can admit that you do sometimes “hold him back.”

He sighed and held his arms out. You looked at him and then threw yourself into his arms. You guys could stay friends, but it would never be the same. These hugs would never feel the same.

~Katsuki Bakugou~

As expected, a relationship with Katsuki isn’t the easiest. You guys were constantly getting into arguments, but they usually ended up fine. He liked how you argued back because he could never be with someone who lets him walk all over them. You guys also teased eachother and made- what would otherwise be described as mean- jokes together.

You and the rest of Bakusquad were all just hanging out in Kirishima’s room. You looked up at one of his punching bags and asked if you could borrow one because you wanted to do some more personal training. “Doesn’t matter how much you train Y/N, you’ll always be at a maximum of #2.” Katsuki said, jokingly.

You didn’t smile. You looked annoyed. Why does he always do that? The joke isn’t even funny. It’s just rude. He looked at you confused and asked what’s up.

“Let’s break up.” You said abruptly. Everyone in the room gasped and tried to quickly excuse themselves. “Wait what? Wait Y/N are you serious?” He was still kinda smirking because he thought you were messing with him.

You sighed, “Katsuki I can’t - I can’t do this anymore. You’re so obsessed with being number one and it’s annoying. I’m not just gonna be your trophy wife or something.” He still looked confused.

“I was just kidding, what? I always make jokes like that. I never thought of you as a ‘trophy wife.’ I thought we were fine.. You never brought up being annoyed with that. I’m set on my goals, yeah. But you never once mentioned that it upset you.” You could tell he was trying to sound sweet, but his voice is just naturally aggressive.

You stare at him in disbelief, you can’t believe he hasn’t noticed. “I- I feel like I don’t really have to outright tell you that’s it’s a little frustrating when you constantly trying to one up me. I don’t even want to be number one as much you do, so I don’t know why you always make it a competition?”

He face dropped, “Well I- I’m sorry. I thought you knew that this was a dream of mine since like ever. I’ll try to tone it down a bit, I guess.” You squeeze your eyes shut.

“Katsuki. I don’t want you to tone it down though. I just- I don’t think you’re fit to be in a relationship, you know? I just need you to care about me more than you care about beating Deku or whoever. But I also know I can’t ask you to do that.” You looked at him.

He would get mad. He knows your right, but you can’t stand being wrong. “Okay. Okay then go.” He’s trying so hard to sound angry. He can’t believe that he wasn’t his best for you at all times and you never told him.

You’d leave and he would probably like cry after idk.

~Shoto Todoroki~

Why would you ever break up with Shoto🤨 Anyways

You guys were both sitting in his room. You were physically together, but just not really talking. You were on your phone, while he studied.

Whenever you tried to make conversation with him, it was always kinda cut short. “How was your day?” You asked. You were basically together all day so you know, but you didn’t know how else to make convo. He turned around, “It was okay. Good.”

You sighed. It’s like everything you said, he responded with a conversation ended. “Shoto,” You started. He nodded his head to let you know he was listening, but didn’t turn around. “I think.. I think we should maybe like,,, take a break?” You finished.

He still didn’t turn around. “Okay.” He responded. You couldn’t tell if he was upset. His voice always sounded so monotone. You didn’t leave just not. It’s mot like you wanted him to be sad, you just wanted to know if he felt anything at all.

You got up and sat in the chair next to him. He still didn’t look at you. You kept staring at him. “I thought.. I thought that things were good.” He said. His voice was softer. You smiled. It’s nice to hear emotions from him.

“I just feel like we aren’t ready for a relationship. I just want you to figure everything out. Then,,I’ll come back.” You told him. This time he looked at you. He didn’t say anything for a while. He just looked. “Okay.” He said in the same monotone voice as the first.

- (A/N): OK IM SORRY BC IDK HOW TO WRITE FOR SHOTO. I LOVE HIM BUT. ALSO I DONT REALLY LIKE THIS ONE BC I FEEL LIKE IT DIDNT REALLY GO W THE REQUEST BUT. MIGHT REDO IT

[reidsconverse]

what do you think it’s like after a fight with spencer? tbh i think neither want to admit they’re wrong but spence just doesn’t wanna fight anymore

y’all i got into a fight w spencer in my dream and i woke up mad so this came at a perfect time... ok truthfully spencer is one stubborn bastard...i know i write him all sweet and apologetic but lets be real this man is SOOOO passive aggressive.

so the fight itself, i dont see y’all arguing often... 80% of the time it’s because spencer is having an off day and gets really short w you which obviously makes you upset??? or he did smth dumb while on a case, which is rare but sometimes his hero complex kicks in (y’know what i mean) 🙄

so after the fight, its a lot of silent treatment or quips from him for the longest time, if he does answer you its short answers along the lines of “whatever.” or “dont care.” this goes on a for a few hours, and lets be honest it’s exhausting so you just give up and remove yourself from the situation, giving him space to reflect on the situation.

y’all never go to sleep or leave the house whilst you’re fighting. its just a rule that you guys set up to avoid dragging out the situation, you have to say im sorry and makeup before doing either of those things, so most of the time fights are resolved fairly quickly. so eventually he’ll look at you, say you were in the kitchen and he comes in for smth. thats when hes super apologetic... once he sees the tear stains on ur cheeks, or the red around your eyes from crying.... he’ll come over to you n get all sheepish and says, “i’m sorry.” and then y’all will FINALLY talk about and he spends a long time making it up to you.

is it healthy? no absolutely not. but its how i genuinely see this whole situation going down 😭

[shesawriter39049]

|FEVER| M|

Pairing: Namjoon X Reader

About- Namjoon just has a kink for letting you do whatever the hell you want with him...Whether that be putting him in a hot pink suit shirtless! Or, telling him he’s a good boy as he fucks you into oblivion!

OR- Namjoon and yourself hooked up 5 months ago when the boys were in London on Tour, and you were the creative director for there British GQ & Harper’s Bazzar Cover! Now, months later he’s prepping to release his second mixtape “RM vs Rap Monster”. Opting to go a complete 360 from his first release Mono in all realms. So, with that being said BigHit thinks he needs someone with a little more... “umph” Take a wild guess as to who they call...

WC:1.2k (Sneak peek)

WARNINGS: Switch OC (Top & Bottom...but there's no real dom/sub tones here) Service top/power bottom Namjoon, praise kink, Fingering, Unprotected sex(Back shot), come play, dirty talk, light choking, light overstimulation, (This is lowkey a little softer than it sounds) The OC kinda leads this, but Joon isin’t the cliché “sub” he just likes letting her take control.

NOTE- Just my take on the OG cliché Artist X Stylist AU (Though she’s more of a full package, Art Director/Stylist/Photographer ETC) I have tried to add some minor elements to make it a little more realistic. I will say I typically stray from “Idol-verse” just because if we’re being real, the cultural difference alone sometimes stunts my creativity...BUT I just had a little fun with this one...so I hope you all enjoy it. Also, I don’t go into much physical details but in my mind regardless of race, aesthetic wise the OC is a huge contrast to what he’s use to which is part of her appeal. I picture a tatted Barbie of some sorts...

SIDE NOTE: No shade, but shade, I was lowkey inspired to write this bc I have very strong opinions about the creative team at BH....

*** Let me know if you guys want the full thing or not...I kidna flaked on posting because it is such a cliché lol

SONG- FEVER DUA LIPA  FT ANGELE

~~~~~~~

“Well, it’s a yes for me” Eyeing him in this Hot pink-fitted Burliti suit, which you paired with a very sheer black Arnar Mar turtle neck. The minute you saw the piece on the runway you’d been dying to get it on someone with melanated skin, and it just so happens, the boys are fresh off the US leg of their stadium tour! So, lucky for you, baby boy’s been in the sun a lot, and Namjoon’s currently a sinful shade of brown and you're totally here for it…

Then to top it off, the mesh material of the turtle neck creates the perfect silhouette around his offensively toned chest, outlining the muscles sinfully. Eternally snorting at the way the fans are gonna thank and curse you out all at the same damn time once they see the looks you’ve pulled for this man!

And yes, you had your crew bring extended shades of foundation and concealer, because his face and neck will match if your name is going to be attached to these damn photos! 

Head tilted to the side as you silently observe the way he rakes over his reflection in the mirror, it’s a sixth sense you’ve acquired as a stylist at this point. Half of your job is essentially being a hype man/self love coach, real shit, a lot of these artist aren't always as...confident as one may think!

And just like clockwork Namjoon runs his palm down his thighs, smoothing out nonexistent wrinkles on his pants for the umpteenth time in the span of oh I don’t know 30 seconds? Which in turn prompts you to say….

“You look good Joonie...” Musing over your second glass of Don, the compliment was genuine, tone warm, soothing even, not a hint flirtation insight because that wasn’t your motive. You weren’t trying to get him flustered you’re just trying to gas him up a little, you wanted to see Namjoon get alittle cocky and feel himself!

Ears perking up like an overgrown puppy, head whipping in your direction “Yeah?” The way this man’s eyes just lit up like the soul skyline. I just-goddamn, an almost bashful smile toys on those plush lips of his, and you can’t help the way your chest flutters with nothing but fondness.

“So fuckin cute” Flutters off your lips, as you hide a smile of your own behind a half empty whine glass. The delivery was so faint it almost go lost in the background music floating through the air. However the slight flush hitting his cheeks let you know Namjoon heard you whether he wanted to admit it or not!

”Mmmhmm, the color looks fuckin insane against your skin, not to mention, the way everything's going to pop once we tone your hair a little! “ Eyes drinking him in from head to toe, though there was nothing suggestive playing within your iris. Very much aware of time and place and right now your genuinely looking respectfully! Seeing if any alterations are needed, making sure you like where everything sits along his frame. Making notes in your phone of places you want to pin and adjust later...snapping a couple shots here and there. 

Licking his lips anxiously as he plays with the lapels on the blazer “But like-I mean-I- dont’-It doesn’t look like I’m... trying too hard or anything?” Brows furrowed in the center of his face, jaw tight, wincing slightly at his own words, almost as if he was afraid of your response. The vulnerability within his delivery was more than evident, and no matter how common this is with artist, it’s still just as devastating! Regardless of how much he tried to play it off as if he was just making casual conversation, you can see how blatantly uncomfortable he is . Gazing back at you wide eyed, and uncannily exposed, pointing at the outfit in question. Licking his lips anxiously as he plays with the the blazer, switching posses subtlety trying to get a better feel for the suit.  

You stayed silent for a minute, taking the time to actually process before speaking which is rare, not gonna lie. Gaze piercing as you hop off the bed, wine, and accessories in hand, swaying closer. “It’s fashion”. The baited pause almost implied that’s all you had to say, as if one-word was self-sufficient, and in your mind it was...but you knew better than to just leave it at that.

“Art at its finest Mr. Kim” You smile something a little devious, and he flushes even deeper as you slowly start to invade his space eyes locked with him meaningfully. You can physically see the shift, the closer you get, Namjoon starts fidgeting slightly under your gaze but he doesn't back down.

“It gives you room to play, create...it’s something that let’s us connect to people without saying a damn thing.” Suddenly the hand that wasn’t holding your alcohol has become a prop, flailing around haphazardly as you spoke, pointing at the various pieces hanging on clothes racks in your suite! The penthouse has essentially been transformed into your own personal walk in closet for the next 5 or so days! “It’s a statement. A opportunity to tap into a side of yourself that maybe you can’t always verbally articulate to the world around you! More importantly, it’s supposed to be fun, it’s literally something that can be removed within seconds! I mean we all have to wear clothes so why not just enjoy it?”  Head cocked to the side as you appraise him, brow quirked, eyes warm, yet there's a clear challenge playing within your gaze.

Namjoon’s watching you intently, almost as if he’s taking mental notes as you speak...the heaviness within those dangerously honed eyes of his could almost be unsettling to some, but you quite like it. Made you feel as though he actually gives a flying fuck about what you’re saying.

“In my opinion the only time it looks like someone’s “Trying too hard” Making little air bunnies with your spare hand “Is if they look uncomfortable in what they’re wearing, confidence is key, and I know you know that better than anyone RM!” You muse batting your lashes in Namjoon’s direction, and he dimples back at you, eyes sinking into tiny crescents, face rivaling the color of his suit, trying to hide said smile behind his own glass of champagne.  

“I could put you in a damn clown suit...” Words trailing off your tongue lackadaisically as you grow distracted searching the bar for a specific chain from John Hardy. “Which” Focus snapping back in his direction making the later splutter a little “Would be fire as fuck if I did by the way, but-”  Namjoon ended up cackling midsentence, almost choking on his drink in the process, fist pounding against his sternum.

Yeah..killing the leader of Bangtan wasn’t really high on your list tonight....

“Ayee, none of that shit...” Smacking him in the back a little more so just to be an ass because he wasn’t even choking anymore “Don’t die on me until we at least get this damn photoshoot done, I had to cancel my trip to Jamaica for this shit!”

Now he’s damn near choking and his laugh was contagious, it’s just.. loud, carefree so yes, your cackling, and there's nothing cute about it. But you honestly don’t care, you let yourself get lost in it! Finally able to feel the atmosphere in the room start to shift to something a little less scripted and a little more organic...

Throwing his hands in the air as If he’s waving a nonexistent white flag “I’m sorry, noona” There’s a pout playing in his lips, not exactly aegyo per say, but it’s fuckin adorable “Blame PD-nim, it’s his fault we had to do this so last minute” Wheezes from his throat, in the form of a slight whine, almost rivaling Jimin if I’m honest.

You already know he was laughing more so due to your delivery, specifically, your casual use of profanity over anything else. This is actually something you use to be self-conscious about, especially at your first shoot with the boys, at the shoot for GQ . Well aware it wasn’t as common in Asia for people especially women to use “fuck” like a comma. So you were hoping they wouldn’t be offended, or uncomfortable by your dialect, and, thankfully they didn’t seem to mind. Much like Joonie over here, they found it entertaining over anything.

“Yeah, a huh, sureee...” Eyes rolling to the back of your head playfully as you start lightly altering the suit in question with clips and pens. “Stay still babe” The pet name slipped off your tongue effortlessly, honestly, that's what you call most people in your life. However you were far too focused to notice how wide eyed and flustered the man before you became upon hearing it directed at him so casually.

A faint little “Sorry” muses off his lips as he gnaws on his inner cheek, trying to stay still as you ghetto-rig hems into place until you can get this under your sewing needle.

“ No, but real shit…” You sigh, taking on a slightly more serious tone “If you step in front of that camera like you own the bitch, regardless of what your wearing..., then they can’t tell you shit! If your comfortable there’s no such thing as trying too hard” You shrug nonchalantly like that was the simplest concept known to man, downing the rest of your drink “Alright, that’s all, thanks for coming to my Ted talk” Waving him off as if you’re about to leave the room and he pouted playfully, jokingly begging you not to leave him yet...it felt good to be able to banter like this. The shift continuous shift within the atmosphere was more than welcomed…

Hesitantly you watch his eyes find their way back to the full length mirror, which promptly smacks you back to reality!

Unfortunately you didn't fly all the way to Seoul just to drink,  and shoot shit with Namjoon for hours on end,  your actually here to work…

Sooo...

“Alright” Placing your arms on his shoulders, giving him a reassuring squeeze as you peer over his shoulder. Meeting his gaze through the glass, chin resting gently against the blade. “Back to the reason you came Mr. “I’m sooo anxiously” Shooting him a teasing little smirk in the process “The suit, yay or nay”

So, here’s the thing technically the official fitting is tomorrow, and as far as his team knows he’s in the studio with Yoongi and Hoseok finishing up a song!

Which of course raises the question as to why he’s here..alone..mind you..no staff or security in site.

Just Kim Namjoon and yourself.....

~~~~

Heyyyy, Lemme know if you guys want this or not, it will leave kinda open ended because it was supposed to kinda be a 3 part mini series initially. Part 1 ends the morning of the shoot, the full thing is set to be around 6/7k! Spoiler, the company is going to want to keep her around for more than just Namjoon’s solo project....

Also, YES...I did see that they actually put Tae in that Burliti suit (I wrote this long before that shoot was released)...I actually hated the way it was styled it though...I never thought I’d say this but MGK’s team did a better job than BH....

[honeykawa]

Fly | Route: Tanaka Ryuunosuke

genre: mafia au, choose your own adventure

warnings: violence, suggestive themes but nothing graphic

word count: 3.1k

Fly Masterlist

“I choose him”

You looked at the man who had been standing in the corner of the room with his arms crossed

“Tanaka get your ass moving and take them home. Pick them up in the morning and take them home from now on. Make sure they dont run away or itll be on your head”

“Got it boss”

The car ride to your apartment was filled with silence and the soft sound of music coming from the radio

You were too nervous to say anything

The growing feeling of anxiety in your chest made it almost hard to breath

You started to unconsciously grab at the area above your chest and your breathing became irregular

‘How did i get into this mess?’ ‘whats going to happen to me?’

These thoughts keep rushing through your head

“--hey are you okay?”

Tanaka pulled the car over so he could stop and assess just what was happening

And from the way he saw it...it looked like an anxiety attack

His panicked a little himself watching you like this he didnt even want to imagine the feelings rushing through you right now

He got you to control your breathing again and come down from your panic

“You good now?”

You nodded your head, still weary about being near this man

He could tell you were still on your guard with the way you wrapped your arms around your body, as if you were trying to make yourself smaller

“I know it seems rough right now but i swear itll be okay”

His voice was soft with you, something you didnt expect from someone in the mafia

The car ride after that went pretty smooth

“We’re here”

The ride went faster than you thought it would and you got out of his car before saying your goodbyes

“Ill pick you up in the morning...if you need me heres my card”

He held out his card to you as you slowly took it from his hands

“See you”

And with that he sped off as you went inside your apartment to go to bed, hoping that maybe this had all been a dream

Once tanaka got back to his apartment he immediately plopped himself onto his bed and covered his eyes with his arm while thoughts of you plagued his mind

‘Cute’

His arm fell down to his side and he just stared at the ceiling

“Get your shit together tanaka. Your job is to watch them, nothing more”

He rolled over to his side with thoughts of you fading as he drifted into sleep

You woke up to the sound of light knocking on your door

And as soon as you opened the door it finally set in that last night really did happen

“Are you ready to go?”

Tanaka took one look at you and let out a deep sigh knowing that you werent

“Ill give you fifteen minutes”

You nodded your head as you ran back into your room and changed into something work appropriate

Wait where were you working? What would be considered work appropriate?

Based off of what tanaka was wearing you assumed something business casual

When you came out you looked at tanaka to see if this was good enough and he just nodded his head and started walking back towards his car, opening the door for you to get in

“I talked it over with daichi and youll be working with me as my assistant”

Your eyes widened and he immediately knew what went through your mind

“No not like that! Like with actual business stuff you wont really have to do anything with the mafia”

His flailing around made you laugh a bit and lifted a weight off of your shoulders

Listening to you laugh was almost relaxing, his cheeks heating up from the mere sight of your carefree smile

He gave you a quick tour of the place and introduced you to the others if you ran into them but that was about it

As his assistant you really didnt do much

If anything it felt like he was just an over glorified babysitter

But you shuffled through the files he gave you and sorted them the way he wanted

Tanaka watched you from the corner of his eye while you both worked

It wasnt that he was worried you would do it wrong

But it was just last night that you had that anxiety attack right in front of him

“y/n do you want to go out?”

You looked up from your papers and looked at him in confusion

“Right now? And what do you mean by ‘go out’?”

A big smile appeared on his face

“Yeah right now! Lets go! And dont think too much of it”

He stood up and grabbed his wallet

You followed him and as you two rounded the corner of the block he held the door open to a small cafe

“Go ahead and order whatever you want its on me”

You were weary about being here

Would you two get in trouble for leaving like that?

Tanaka could see the worry still lingering on your face and rose his hand to gently pat your head

“Like I said its on me so dont worry about leaving the office ill take any repercussions if there are any”

The grin on his face took a weight off of your chest and you felt like the air around you wasnt so thick anymore

After getting back to the office no one had even noticed that you two had even left

Whos running this place??

The next few weeks seemed to be fine

It was almost like you lived a normal life and you werent being watched by the mafia

You and tanaka had grown closer and it was easier to talk to the others now

He treated you kindly and tried to understand your situation

Unlike the two interns who always berated you for not knowing where certain files were or would roll their eyes when you would flinch at sudden movements the first few days

But tanaka took it slow with you, doing little things so that youd be more comfortable

At first it was subtle

If you needed to go make a copy of something he’d suddenly need to go grab something from the copy room with you even if you insisted that you could get it for him

Or how he always tried to include you in conversations with others so you would get more comfortable around everyone

Tanaka grew to be someone who it was easy for you to be around

But that sense of calmness was quickly wiped away when you joined him on one of his...excursions

“Heres the case. Now give us what we want”

Tanaka held the case in front of him while you just watched from the car

Sure, he’d take you with him but he’d never let you actually get out

He didnt really want this to take too long

Especially since it was just him against a good handful of men

But the men he was making the trade deal with suddenly saw you in move in the car and locked eyes with you

His smile sent a chill down your spine formed on his face

“New deal: give me that hot piece of ass in the car and you have a deal”

Tanakas jaw clenched at the the disgusting words just said about you

“Im sorry but,”

You couldnt see tanakas face until he looked up at the man in front of him

The look on his face utterly terrified you

“I’ll kill you if you even try to put a hand on them”

Everyone stood there unmoving, too scared to move

Tanaka turned around and headed back to the car where you were

“Deals off if that wasnt clear”

But one of the other men moved towards him

“The fuck you mean its off!”

Tanaka easily evaded the man’s advance and took him down with only a quick few movements

“Anyone else want to try”

The question was simple enough but no one dared made eye contact with him as he got into the car and drove off

The car ride was quiet, youd never seen tanaka look like that before

It scared you

He scared you

Tanaka noticed your silence and reached a hand out to pat your head but his chest went heavy at the sight of you flinching

“Y/n?”

You knew he wouldnt hurt you but you couldnt stop the slight tremble

“Im sorry tanaka”

A weak smile appeared on his face

“It’s fine y/n. i’ll take you home, okay?”

You just nod your head and neither of you talk the rest of the ride

A few days go by and you can feel the distance between you and tanaka growing

Its so noticeable that the others in the office can feel the awkwardness between the two of you

Tanaka suddenly stood up from his seat which startled you but he quickly rose his hands

“Woah sorry didnt mean to scare you”

He said it with such a sad smile on his face that it almost hurt to even look at him

“Ill be back in a moment, gotta use the bathroom”

You nodded your head as he left and let out a sigh

You knew he was just doing business

This was his job

It just shocked you to see the man thats been so kind to you to look...like that

Tanaka on the other hand knew this would happen eventually

He washed his face in the sink and looked up at his reflection

‘Remember your place. They deserve better’

He wiped off his face before heading back to his office only to see you not there

His heart just drop not seeing you there

“y/n?!”

He was about to bolt out of there but as soon as he turned around he bumped right into you

You fell onto the ground and the papers you were holding scattered around everywhere

You both just looked at each other for a moment

“Tanaka--”

Before you could say anymore he scooped you into his arms and you could feel the slight tremble in his shoulders before he quickly pulled away once he realized what he was doing

“Sorry y/n i dont know what came over me”

He started help to pick up the papers you dropped but before he could get too far you pulled him into a hug

He was frozen on the spot at feeling your touch

The warmth from your hands made his heart beat erratically

“Im sorry tanaka”

Your arms tightened around him

Youd seen so many sides of him

How clumsy he was

How kind he could be

Youve also seen how scary he could be and honestly it still shocked you

But you want to believe in him

The him thats been nothing but gentle with you

You could hear him let out a shaky breath before pulling you into his chest

After that your relationship with tanaka went back to normal

Or at least as normal as it could have been

Ever since that day youve started to notice how your heart speeds up whenever you look at him

Or the butterflies in your stomach when he smiles at you

He was careful to not let you see the mafia side of things anymore

You appreciate the thought but youd be lying if you said it didnt worry you when he came to work bandaged or bruised

Today was one of those days where tanaka had picked you up with some visible injuries

The cut on his face looked fairly fresh and without realizing it you reached up and gently ran your thumb over it

“Um what are you doing y/n”

Not that tanaka hated this

He felt his heart flutter at your touch

“You know, i dont mind helping you if you need it”

He smiled and took your hand off of his face

“Thank you y/n but im fine”

Just knowing that you cared was enough for him

‘I love you’

They were words he couldnt say

But he knew this life wasnt for you and he couldnt force you to come live in it

A few weeks go by and you feel like every time you get close to him he pulls back to just keep it barely within the realm of just friends

But that was fine as long as you could stay near

It was another one of those days where tanaka was off doing mafia business so noya kept you company

He always had his guard up but he seemed to take a liking to you

“Do you like tanaka”

The question caught you so off guard you dropped your pen

You looked up at him

“Is it that obvious?”

Noya kept working on whatever was in front of him not even sparing you a glance

“Painfully”

You could feel your embarrassment rising

“But if it makes you feel any better i think he likes you too so promise me...make him happy”

Before you could say anything back noyas phone went off and he immediately answered

His eyes went wide and his head whipped towards you before hanging up and dragging you somewhere

“Noya! Where are we going?”

He rushed you into a car and he took the wheel before driving off to who knows where

“Where are we?”

He got out of the car and opened your door

You were at an apartment complex from the look of it

“We’re at tanakas apartment hurry up”

You immediately got out and followed after him and you almost felt your legs give out seeing the state tanaka was in

Bloody and battered

Hinata was sitting next to his bed with his arms crossed

“Idiot rushed in despite not having a gun”

Noya rolled his eyes

“You know he doesnt like carrying one whyd you let him go alone?”

“Not my fault he didnt stop to think”

They kept talking to each other and went into the other room leaving you both alone

His breathing seemed stable as he slept but tears escaped your eyes as you took a seat next to him

Noya left you with tanaka and told you to take care of him

“He’ll try to tell you hes okay. Dont listen to him hes a fucking liar so take good care of him for me”

It was funny but it almost sounded like a goodbye

Tanaka woke up later that night only to see you sitting next to him with tear stains on your cheeks

The thought of you shedding tears because of him both hurt and warmed his heart

He reached up to wipe your face despite the pain he felt

Your cheeks fit perfectly within his hand and he found it cute how you leaned into his touch subconsciously

He couldnt move much but this is all he needed

You woke up before he did that next morning and decided to make some breakfast for the both of you

When you came back in he was just waking up

“Good morning tanaka”

The smile on your face as the sunlight trickled in through the window made him feel at ease

This...this was the life he longed for

“Morning”

He tried to sit up but flinched while doing so

You rushed to his side and set the food down before helping him up

“Dont push yourself. Youre still pretty banged up”

You changed his bandages for him every evening after that

“I can do this myself you know”

He said it with a light laugh

He was starting to get back on his feet and regained most of his movement and strength

“I know but...id like it if you would rely on me just a bit more. I know i cant do much but i can do this”

He didnt say anything back to you after that

In all honesty he didnt want to do it himself

Every time your hand even brushed over his skin it felt like he was on fire

Even the scars that have long since healed throbbed at your touch

His heart beat so hard against his chest that he was afraid that you could hear it

“There all done! Hope that wasnt too bad”

‘Dont smile at me’

‘Youre far too precious’

‘I dont know what ill do if you look at me like that’

He really was planning to let you go, he was fine with just keeping you at an arms length away but now he knew he was in too deep

You got up to put the first aid kit away but he quickly pulled you into his bed with him and he held you tight against his chest

His face was buried into the crook of your neck

He didnt know what he wanted anymore

He wanted to keep you safe but he couldnt guarantee that with him being in the mafia

He hated it

This life wasnt the one he wanted anymore

The life he wanted was with you

Slowly, he rose his head to look at you

“Run away with me y/n”

Your eyes widened in pure shock

“What...what did you just say?”

You couldnt believe what he just said

His eyes were serious though

“Run away with me. I dont want this life anymore. I want to give you the life you deserve. One filled with happiness and laughter where you dont have to worry about things like if ill come home the next day or not. One where you arent targeted. I love you y/n. I love you so much so please, run away with me or so help me god ill just take you”

He held you so tight that it felt like he might break at any sudden movement

You wrapped your arms around him and held him gently against you so you wouldnt hurt any of his wounds

“Then take me away”

That was all tanaka needed to let go of any reservations that were holding him back up

He kissed you with everything hes been bottling up until this moment

Your lungs burned as pulled away, both out of breath but hungry for more

“I hope you know Im not letting you go. Youre stuck with me now”

You laughed and kissed his forehead

“I wouldnt have it any other way”

That night was spent in each others arms, both of you longing for the others touch and neither of you wanting to be apart for even a second

Noya visited the apartment a few days later only to be met with complete silence

A knowing smile appeared on his face as he shook his head

He knew wherever you two were you were both happy

Because he knew you would keep your promise to him