#and people irl keep trying 2 push me into having Emotional Moments with them and it's so fucking annoying

[lonelyplanetfag]

next person to ask me if im okay is getting hit with a truck i swear to god

[superfics-forone]

Just Friends

SUMMARY: Sam asks the group who they think are the “hottest” members of the team. You don’t make the cute for Bucky’s top five.

Bucky x TALL!Reader

W/C: 5,800

WARNINGS: angst, swearing (like two f bombs), cannon level violence, Bucky being an idiot (it’s a warning), physical insecurities, fake science

A/N: I wrote this because the top 5 situation actually happened to me IRL and when you don’t make someone you like’s list, it sucks. Also, this is in no way meant as being against people who are smaller! I am just a tall/plus size woman and sometimes that really makes you feel like you’re unattractive to people because you don’t fit the gender norm. Let me know what you think! I’m pretty new at this so I’d appreciate the feedback!

Also, HUGE shout out to @princessmisery666 for being so patient and supportive! Thank you for being my beta! Your comments were so incredibly helpful!

The best part about working with Bucky was that you got to see him everyday. The worst part was that you were constantly reminded that he wasn’t attracted to you.

You knew you were a good looking woman, people would often tell you that. It usually happened when you weren’t necessarily feeling your prettiest. Somehow that made it worse. Others would compliment you but he never would. Even when you knew you looked good- like you had put in extra effort and actually tried that day- still he would give you nothing.

You sat across from him in the common room looking at all the other Avengers wondering why he didn’t feel the same when you finally got your answer.

“Alright man,” Sam called out to the group. “Top five, let’s go.”

“Top five?” asked Clint, not sure if he wanted to know the answer. “Top five what?”

Everyone looked back to Sam, - “Top five on who you think is lookin’ most fine”.

“You want us to rate each other?” You asked incredulously.

“Naw, man!” Sam replied. “I want to know who you think are the top five most attractive! Male and female!”

You slunk back into the sofa, both curious and terrified of the conversation to come.

You heard huffs from the others but no one objected. Vision went first and of course he could only answer with; “I believe all of you are inherently lovely. I couldn’t possibly pick a top five of those who I find to be most attractive.” As soon as he finished and the room was no longer focused on him though he leaned over to Wanda and said something in her ear that made her blush.

You brought your cup up to your lips to hide your smile. You loved how happy they were after having been through so much heartbreak.

Sam went next, “Imma say, Wanda, Nat, Gamora’s got it goin’ on…for an alien…Hill - don’t tell her I said that- and…Y/N,” he said throwing you a wink.

You smiled but shook your head with a roll of your eyes. You knew the only reason he said your name was because you were in the room. He was trying to be kind. Men didn’t seem to be actively lining up to be with you…it might have something to do with them being intimidated by you being an Avenger but who could possibly know

“Sam you would think anything with legs that gave you the time of day was hot,” Bucky shot.

The others laughed but Sam shot back, “alright, Tin Man, who’s on your list? Okoye?”

“Yeah for one! I would be dead before I could make a move but sure! She’s dangerous and stunning!” He took a swig of bourbon as if he was done.

“Alright then who else?” Wanda leaned forward winking at you.

You shot her a warning look. You had only told her how you felt about Bucky once on a drunken night after finding out he had gone on date with another recruit. Jealousy had reared its ugly head and she could feel your angst that night. You had asked Wanda how; “A tiny little thing that would barely hold her own in the ring,” could possibly catch his eye. It was as if the only thing he saw you as was an ear to listen to his problems and a soldier he could rely on in the field. You had seen them together multiple times since then and every time it pained you more.

She was everything you weren’t. Barely five foot, two inches tall with a skinny frame to match, and a nicely formed backside. In reality you couldn’t be mad at Bucky. He deserved to be happy. He was your friend and you wanted that for him. You just wanted that particular happiness too.

“Okay, okay!” Bucky’s hands came up in surrender as he finished his drink and leaned back to think, He sat so close to you his left bicep of his folded arms brushed yours with every breath he took.“Okoye? Sure…uh… in no particular order…Wanda, Nat, Darcy, and the little woman, Kris, from reception.”

“It seems, Mr. Barnes”, said Vision, “that you prefer mates who are significantly smaller than you. I do believe that of that group, Wanda is the tallest one.”

“Which isn’t really saying much because I’m only five, six”, she complained.

“The perfect height my dear.” Wanda smiled at that and kissed Vision’s cheek .

You took another long sip of your drink as you registered what had been said. Your stomach soured as you finished the glass. Not so much from the alcohol as from the realization that the man who you had secretly been pinning over didn’t even list you as attractive enough to make his top five.

You felt like you knew why. It was just too much. You weren’t small and dainty like those on his list. You had big bones and a can do attitude. You wouldn’t take crap from people. And because you were so tall you could come off as intimidating…or so some men had told you.

“I’m going to get another drink,” You whispered to no one in particular.

But Sam really couldn’t read a room and he called you out. “No, no! Who’s on your list Y/N?”

“Oh no!” You said dryly. “I’d have to be much drunker for that conversation. For now, I'll keep my opinions to myself.”

You spotted Bucky’s surprised face before you made your way over to the bar. The conversation carried on behind you as you refilled your glass. Thoughts of Bucky’s revelation clouding your mind. You were never going to be good enough for him because you were just too big. Too tall. Too much. He liked the smallest, most petite women in the compound. Feeling your emotions swelling,you decided to grab the bottle and made your way quietly out of the room while the ruckus continued.

Once on your floor you closed the door behind you with a forceful slam, “FRIDAY!! Lock the door and don’t open it for anyone!!”

“Yes, Miss Y/L/N.”

The rest of the night was spent on the floor in your sweats drinking from your bottle of whiskey and feeling sorry for yourself and all the things you couldn’t be because of biology.

You weren’t sure if it was a drunken stupor or your imagination but at one point you could have sworn you heard a knock only for it to go away just as quickly.

…

The next day you had an awful hangover and didn’t get out of bed. Bucky came to your door for your normal morning run.

“Tell him I’m not going, Friday.”

“He would like to know why, Miss.”

“Tell him it’s my time of the month.”

“Your time of the month was last week, Miss.”

“Who’s side are you on, Friday? Just tell him I’m sick.”

“Very well, Miss.”

It was silent for a few moments and you had thought that would be enough to get Bucky off your back for now.

“Mr. Barnes would like to know if you’d like to see Dr. Cho, Miss.”

“Uuuugggghhhh,” you rolled out of bed and marched over, irritated that the one person you didn’t want to see was at your door.Pulling it open with a huff you practically screamed. “What?!?”

“Woah!” Bucky jumped back startled at your disheveled appearance and puffy eyes. “I just want to make sure you’re alright, doll. You didn’t come back last night and you never answered the door when I came to check on you.”

So there was a knock last night.

You couldn’t look him in the eye as your eyes filled with tears again, this time with shame. “I’m fine, Bucky.” You started shutting the door quickly and he stuck his hand on it preventing you from closing it again.

“Y/N…what’s…”

“Bucky, I just need some rest okay?” You cut him off, “I’m fine. I promise I’ll be right as rain tomorrow.” You smiled weakly.

Bucky searched your face as if trying to find what you weren’t telling him in your eyes. But you were an Avenger and you knew how to school your features to show nothing.

Bucky sighed and shook his head, “alright, doll. I’m here if you want to talk about anything.”

“Yes, fine,” you said pushing him out the door. Your eyes had flooded with tears again. You didn’t look up to see Bucky’s hurt and concerned face as you closed the door again and put your back to it.

You held your breath listening for his footsteps to retreat before sinking to the floor and crying.

…

The next day was an all out avoid Bucky day. You weren’t sure you could take the questions and worried looks he was sure to give you. Instead, you decided that what you needed was time away from such temptation. And so, you went in to ask Steve for an overseas long assignment.

“You sure about this one, Y/N. It’s a 9 month solo mission. It’s going to be long and it’s going to be lonely.”

“Yes. I’m sure. I need some time to myself.”

Steve looked at you with understanding and pity. He could see how you felt about Bucky even if he couldn’t get his best friend to see it as well.

“Alright,” he said, “suit up. You leave in 2 hours.”

South Africa wasn’t the worst assignment. It wouldn’t take long for you to get the information you needed. And the separation from Bucky would be good for you.

You finished checking your last weapon and loaded it as well as a pair of throwing knives, a gift from Bucky, into your duffle before looking around your room one more time.

You headed to the door and almost made it out until the picture of you and Bucky on your dresser made you stop. Picking it up you smiled at the memory of the minor league baseball game you’d attended together. You had won tickets and no one else was available that night. When you’d offered the tickets to Bucky you couldn’t believe that he said yes! It was the true start of your friendship, talking about life and how much it had changed for him but also how little it had changed for you. He couldn’t believe it when you started singing all the words to “I’ll never smile again”.

“You think I don’t know music? I’m quite cultured, Mr. Barnes!” You had said with a laugh.

“I never said you weren’t, sweetheart!”

Coming back out of your revelry with a start you put the picture back down on the dresser and turned to the door. You were going to get over this infatuation, even if it killed you. Supposedly time heals all wounds. Well you weren’t sure if there was ever going to be enough time but you could get distance.

…

Hours later Bucky came in to tell you about the relationship problems he was having with the girl from reception. She just didn’t seem to understand him and kept picking fights. You had become his confidant and had saved his relationship once before so would most likely be able to do it again.

He was almost to your room when he noticed your door was ajar. Slowing he moved closer and pushed it in silently. The room was neat and quiet. Your bed folded nicely as though it was always that way.

Bucky knew that you never made your bed until you were right about to get in it. Or unless you were going on a trip.

Checking carefully he started to notice things missing. Your favorite slippers were gone. Your tooth brush and favorite stuffed animal turtle were also missing. All of the things that you felt you had to have with you were gone.

Then he saw the picture frame on the dresser. Picking it up he too smiled at the memory, then frowned. It was still here. You almost always took this with you. Why was it still here but everything else you held of value was gone.

“Friday, where is Y/N?”

“Miss Y/L/N has volunteered for a mission, sir.”

“Where?”

“That information is classified.”

“Okay, when will she be back?”

“That information is classified.”

“Alright, who else went on the mission,” he asked hoping whoever it was would have your back.

“All other Avengers are currently in the compound.”

“So she went by herself?” Bucky fumed.

“That information is classified.”

“Damn robots!”

Bucky stormed out and found Steve in the kitchen.

“Where did you send her, punk!

Steve didn’t even look up from his newspaper, knowing exactly what his best friend was talking about.

“She’ll be fine, Buck. She just needs some time to herself.”

“So send her to Fiji! Not a solo mission!!”

“This is her call Bucky. You’ve got to trust her.”

Bucky spun on his heel and headed to the computer lab. He knew he was being irrational but if no one else was going to look after your well-being then he was going to have to do it himself.

It took him all day but he finally unencrypted the files for your mission. You were to carry out a recon mission in Port Elizabeth on a supposed Hydra base. It was a far cry from Fiji but you wouldn’t be in immediate danger.

Still he came in everyday to check in on your reports and find out how the events in the country were progressing. He had even convinced Torres to help him set up notifications to his phone if something were to go wrong. He had, very nicely, threatened him with knives if he didn’t set up Stark’s satellite to keep an eye on you.

After three weeks he was really starting to miss your company. Every time he went out with Kris from reception he realized that she just wasn’t as interesting as you. They didn’t have the same camaraderie and chemistry as the two of you did.

So when his phone dinged at 2:30am he looked at the notification. It was a satellite image of you on your apartment porch drinking coffee. You seemed at ease and calm at your small table. Your hair down and wearing a long red dress. He went to the live feed of the satellite but when he did you weren’t there.

Bucky refreshed the page again thinking it may be just an error. But his rising heartbeat made him think differently. When the screen came back he noticed the upturned coffee mug and the newspapers on the ground.

Bucky flew from his bed and raced down the hall to the command room. Steve and Tony were already there, still in their pajamas.

“…it’s not as if she has a tracker in her, Stark!”

“Well maybe she should! Maybe we should make it a standard issue! Everyone gets a tracker! Friday! Make a note!”

“Yes sir.” replied the AI.

“Tony, we need to focus on the…”

“Where is she?!” Bucky growled.

Both men turned around in surprise. Steve recovered first, his eyes sympathetic for his friend’s worry. “We’re not sure, Buck. These images were only taken 4 hours ago.” He clicked to zoom in closer, “but we did get this.”

He zoomed all the way into the kitchen window behind where you’d sat drinking coffee, where a face reflected in the glass. Bucky looked on in rage, hands in tight fists, as the image became clearer and Zemo came into focus.

…

You awoke with a start, unaware of your surroundings. You sat on a bed in a bare room with a single one way mirror. A metal chair sat by the wall and you noticed no handle on the door. Trying to piece together what had happened you recalled your last memory.

A beautiful morning, the sun shining on the water, a freshly brewed cup of coffee. You sat in your apartment in Port Elizabeth, a pain in your neck…

“Zemo,” you whispered.

“Ah, you’re awake,” said the speaker above you. “I’m sorry about the dramatics but it was necessary. You’re a very important piece of the puzzle.”

“Let me guess,” you said as you rolled your eyes. “You don’t like the way the world is being saved by the Avengers and you think you could do better.”

“Actually I want something else, мой дорогой. I need you.”

“What?” you cried befuddled. “Why on earth would you need me?”

“Do you know what TX-39 is?”

“Yes, I have an entire codex of arbitrary numbers logged away in my brain,” you retorted.

Zemo didn’t pause at your sarcasm. “TX-39 is the compound used to create nucleotides that bond onto nerve endings. By doing so they suspend brain signals stopping all neuro function and rendering the subject immoble. Something you have experienced first hand. By combining a nanotech inhibitor with this nerve ending your subject’s direct motor function is now open to...suggestions.”

You sat astounded as you registered what he had told you. You looked down at your hands but you didn’t feel different. There was no way something like this could work.

“What better way to get rid of a super soldier than to create your own?” Zemo said. You felt a slight buzz in your spine as you stood up quickly trying to resist. Running to the mirror you pulled back your arm, ready to punch your way out, but an inch from the glass your arm stopped. “Ironic that the Soldat will come to save you, only to be the one who needs to be saved.” With that you felt the electricity in your spine disappear and your body was your own again.

Frustration built within you as you sat back on the bed for a moment processing his statement. Your face became more and more incredulous until finally you burst out laughing. You continued laughing harder and harder at the absurdity of Zemo’s reasoning.

“You think I’m the one he is going to come after,” you laughed. “You think you picked the right mouse for your trap? You’re going to wait a long time if you think he’s going to come and get me.”

During your first few weeks away you had missed Bucky fiercely. Leaving him behind so abruptly had felt like severing a part of yourself, but the last few weeks had been good for you. You had forgotten what it was like to rely on yourself. You had grown into yourself again and had realized how little Bucky had actually cared for you when he never came to find you. He hadn’t so much as picked up the phone after you had left. It was as if you had never existed in the first place.

“Bucky doesn’t care about me,” you said sardonically. “He never has. We are barely even friends.You picked the wrong mouse, Zemo. ”

“We’ll see, дорогой,” and with a click he was gone.

Your brain shifted in and out of the conversation with Zemo. Looking down at your hands, you prayed it wasn’t true. You knew that what had happened at the window was real but you didn’t want to believe it. You had been turned into a weapon to hurt your friends. To hurt Bucky.

Crossing your arms over your chest you laid down on the bed, rolled over to face the wall, and cried.

…

Avengers Compound

“There is a five mile radius around Agent Y/L/N last known location,” said Fury. “Two man teams will sweep the area in a grid formation while the drones scan for energy signatures. Any questions?”

All those around the table sat silent, but nodded confirmation of their understanding of the objective. Fury looked around the room, “This mother fucker took one of ours and I wanna know why. Let’s get going.”

Bucky stood up from the table and made his way out of the room to the Quinjet hangar. Steve pulled on his arm before entering the plane. “I know what’s going through your mind right now Buck, but we are going to get her back”.

Bucky looked at the ground before raising his eyes to his friend. “He knew how to get to me, Steve. He always knows where to hurt me. He couldn’t use you. You’re too difficult to overpower. So he had to pick her. I just,” Bucky wasn’t sure how to finish his thought. Words never came easily to him and he wasn’t sure he could really express what he was feeling. “I just want her safe.”

After you had left Bucky felt hollow inside. He hadn’t realized how much joy you brought to his day with your smiles and jokes. Always knowing what to say, or at least, what he needed to hear. Your departure made him realize he needed you. Boarding the jet Bucky knew that no matter what happened he was going to tell you how he felt.

…

The team had been sweeping through the city for what felt like hours and there still hadn’t been any developments. Walking through another alleyway Bucky scanned the cobblestone streets. He was beginning to lose hope at ever finding you at all when he saw an uneven line in between two buildings.

Pressing his comm link he called out, “Steve, I’ve got something. I’m going to check it out.”

“Bucky, wait for backup. We’ll come to you.”

Feeling along the wall Bucky felt a draft between the cracks. Unholstering the gun at his hip he pushed against the wall feeling it give way.

“I’m going in. Follow my location.”

“Bucky, wait!” Steve called.

Bucky ignored his calls and continued down the dimly lit hall. The walls opened up to a staircase leading down to a command room. The musky scent of decay and scotch filled Bucky’s nostrils.

“Privet, Soldat,” Zemo called from the darkness.

Bucky whirled around to find nothing.

“Have you come for your little mouse?”

Still searching, Bucky said nothing as the sound came from a different corner of the room.

“Have you realized how much you miss her?”

Bucky circled again, coming up to a window.

“I wonder what it is? Is it her sweetness that draws you? Or her willingness to see you for more than the killer you are?”

Bucky frowned. Zemo was playing with him.

“Or have you realized that her fire is what draws you to her? She does have a talented tongue. I’ve seen her put it to good use,” Zemo provoked. “I have enjoyed having her in my company, but it seems you really never appreciated her spirit, did you?”

Bucky continued searching the room as Zemo continued his monologue. Coming up to the computer he saw a paused video feed. It played as soon as he stepped forward.

Bucky saw you in a room, still in your red sundress. Your hair was matted and you had the look in your eye of anger and exasperation. When you spoke, Bucky felt the wind rush out of his lungs.

“Bucky doesn’t care about me,” you said sardonically. “He never has. We are barely even friends.”

“A pity she never saw you care, but I suppose it’s only fair that you tell her now.”

The door beside the window clicked open with a beep. You came out of the cell with a look of wary surprise on your face. “Bucky?”

“Now is your moment, Sergeant Barnes. Why not tell her how you feel before it's too late,” called Zemo.

Bucky holstered his gun and walked toward you. “Y/N? Are you okay? Come on, let's get out of here.”

He grabbed your hand and turned to go but you were rooted to the spot. Your breathing became heavy as you felt the tingling sensation in your spine again.

“Bucky, I need you to leave,” you cried, dread dripping from your voice.

“What? No,sweetheart, come on! I’m not leaving you.”

“Bucky, I…” you started.

“Last chance to declare yourself, Soldat.”

Looking up in anger, Bucky yelled. “Shut up, Zemo. I’m not performing for you-” Bucky’s head turned in surprise as you punched him across the face. “What the hell, Y/N?”

“It wasn’t me!” you cried as you dropped and kicked his legs out from under him.

Bucky rolled over quickly to pick himself up as you followed him swinging punches at his head and kicks to his stomach. Your moves were both erratic and efficient as they landed multiple times. It was all Bucky could do to block your assault and move out of the way.

“This isn’t me!” you cried again between punches. “Zemo is controlling me with nanotech!”

Bucky threw up an arm to block your punch before flipping you around by your arm and pressing you to the wall. He didn’t want to hurt you but he was pretty sure that it wasn’t the most comfortable position.

“It’s okay, Y/N. We’re going to get you out of this.”

Your foot kicked his leg and you pushed yourself over and around his head and away from the wall. Grabbing the knife at his hip as you slipped out of his grip, you threw it into his thigh.

Bucky looked at you in surprise and annoyance. “Sorry!” you winced. Pulling the knife from his leg he tossed it to the floor.

“Look, Y/N. I’m not going anywhere, but try not to kill me, okay?”

“It’s not like I’m doing this on purpose Bucky!” you huffed as you charged at him.

“Well I’m just trying to get you out of the problem you put yourself in!” You had grabbed another knife and went to stab him. Bucky caught the knife and twisted your hand but the knife snagged your dress and tore the skirt as you fought to wrestle it away.

Your eyes flared with anger and the next punch you threw had a little extra heft in it.

“That I put myself in? How about you, Mr. Barge-into-a-room-with-no-back-up!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you liked being saved! Although you’re one to talk! You came on a mission without backup!” Bucky rolled across the computer console out of the way of your next kick, getting agitated at your attitude.

“Because I needed space!” you yelled as you followed him around the computer desk.

“Space? Space from what?” Bucky yelled back, actually throwing a punch that you easily evaded.

“You! You idiot!” it burst out of you as you came up swinging before pushing him to the ground.

Bucky looked up at you with his eyes wide. You had him straddled under your legs. Bucky brought his arms up to block your punches while he tried to talk to you.

“Why would you need space from me? I don’t understand. You left without warning, without saying goodbye! Your mission was classified so I had to hack F.R.I.D.A.Y to even find out where you were!”

Your body was starting to fatigue from the strain of the fight as you continued to land blow after blow. You were fit and well trained but because your body was not your own you were blowing through energy rapidly. Your breaths were coming in short gasps as your chest heaved at each punch. If you kept this up, you weren’t sure how much time you would have before your body gave out entirely.

“Y/N, you left a huge gap! You were my best friend and then you were gone! You wouldn’t even talk to me before you left! You didn’t tell me you were leaving. I couldn’t even call you because the mission was supposed to be classified!”

Maybe it was the fatigue, maybe the hopelessness you felt, but you gave him everything you had left as you pummeled into him. Frustration over your situation, frustration at him, frustration at yourself built up inside you.

“I WILL NOT BE YOUR STAND IN! I will not be second best. I can’t look on anymore as you find someone smaller, cuter, littler to fit perfectly into your life! I deserve to be wanted! I deserve to be desired!” you screamed at the man beneath you as tears streamed down your cheeks.

Bucky finally bucked his hips and flipped you under him, pinning your hands to the ground next to your head.

“Get off of me! Let me go!” you had finally had enough. The damn had broken and your emotions and insecurities raged inside you. Your body pulled and twisted to break free from his grip.

“You do deserve to be desired,” Bucky said calmly as he caged you beneath him. “You are nobody's stand in. You’re perfect just as you are.” He wanted to say more but it was all he could do to keep you pinned under him.

The team burst down into the control room to see you openly weeping and Bucky on top of you.

“Nat, I need you to put an electric burst in my arm.” Bucky said looking up.

“I’m sorry, you what?” asked Nat.

“Just do it!” he said as you fought harder against him.

With a nod from Steve, Nat waved her baton and zapped Bucky’s arm causing both of you to scream in pain. When your body finally stopped seizing, the lack of adrenaline and the pain and fatigue caught up to you and you passed out in Bucky’s arms.

“You want to explain why I just pushed fifty thousand volts through you two?”

“Zemo infected her with some kind of nano tech. She hasn’t been in control this entire time.”

Steve scanned around the room. “Alright team, fan out. See if you can find out where Zemo went. I want teams down here with sat links up in 30 minutes.”

Bucky circled the gears around in his arm to get it up and running again before scooping you carefully off the ground.

“Buck, get her on the next jet out. Dr. Cho and Banner will be waiting for you to get back.”

…

For the second time you woke up in an unfamiliar place, and struggled to get your bearings. You felt like you’d been run over by a pick up truck and tumbled through a dryer.

Feeling slowly returned to your hands as your eyes opened and your vision cleared. You were in one of the medical rooms at the compound you realized.

“Look who decided to wake up,” said a gruff voice.

Turning your head you saw Bucky sitting in the chair beside you. He looked fresh and his eyes twinkled at you.

“Bucky,” you croaked as you tried to sit up.

“Woah there. You just relax. Your body is still trying to catch up from Zemo’s nanites.”

You slumped back down in the bed as Bucky leaned forward to take your hand.

“You had me worried there for a minute, doll. You’ve been sleeping for days. Wasn’t sure when you were going to pull through.”

“You doubt me, Barnes?”

“Not for a second, sweetheart, but I sure as hell missed you.” Bucky smiled, then looked down for a moment as if trying to find the right words. “We need to talk about why you left, Y/N.”

“No, Bucky, I...it doesn’t matter.” You say looking away. “It’s not important.”

“I don’t know, I’d say you thinking you don’t matter to me is pretty important.” You turned to look at him sharply, mouth open in a small gasp. “And I’d also say that you thinking I don’t find you desirable is pretty important too.”

You sat in shock as he spoke, not wanting to break the way you had during your fight.

“Y/N, you are perfect. You knew me before I even knew myself. You light up the whole room just by being in it. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. You are strong, independent, kind, and gentle. You’re like a tall Asgardian goddess. Every inch of you is beautiful. I thought back to the last time we talked...before you left, and I realized why you did. I know why you thought I wasn’t attracted to you. That night, Sam’s list,” he paused as if pained at the memory, “I didn’t add you because...well, because I was so confused at how I was feeling. You were my friend. I didn’t realize till it was too late that I was already falling in love with you. And I most definitely didn’t want to give Sam anymore ammunition.”

You looked up at him sharply when he dropped the L word.

Bucky stood to reposition himself on the edge of your bed. Taking your face in his hands he leans forward until your foreheads barely touch. “I didn’t want to ruin things with you. You were my friend. You were perfect and I thought you deserved better so I ran to find something that was everything you weren’t. You are my perfect fit. You are just right. You are the only person I want. Please tell me you’re mine. Please tell me I haven’t lost you.”

You brought your hand up to rest over his as you let his words wash over you.

He wanted you. He thought you were beautiful. All of you. All of the parts people had told you were too much: your height, your attitude, your independence - he wanted it all.

You did something that you wanted to do for months, you brought your lips up to his softly and gave him a chaste kiss. “I was always yours Bucky,” You pulled his hands down and pushed him away to look into his eyes, “but I won’t be taken for granted anymore. I shouldn’t have to leave for you to want me. I shouldn’t have to be gone for you to realize what you had. I left for a reason. It was to find peace with myself. I realized that I didn’t need your approval. I didn’t need your desire to be whole. I won’t settle for someone who can’t see what’s right in front of them. I know my worth.”

Bucky looked at you sorrowfully as he held onto your fingers, memorizing their shape. “I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to make you feel like you weren’t enough.”

“I know, but it happened. I don’t need you to be happy, Bucky...” Bucky hung his head in dejection. “...But I do want you.”

Bucky looked up at you sharply to find your eyes full of love and warmth. You wanted him. Even after all that happened - how he forced you away, how he made you feel like you weren’t good enough, you were still willing to forgive him. You wanted him even with all his faults.

You brought him closer for another kiss and savored the way his lips fell across yours. Breaking away to look up at him you said what you had been holding in for months, “And I love you too.”

Tags: @princessmisery666 @dreamwritesimagines

[entertainment]

Entertainment Spotlight: Genneya Walton, #blackAF

Genneya Walton came to acting through a passion for dance and performance. Once on screen, she starred as Bryden Bandweth on Project Mc², as well as taking on roles in The Resident, 911, Criminal Minds, School of Rock, and Extent. Up next, Genneya will be playing the role of Chloe Barris, daughter to Rashida Jones and Kenya Barris, in his new mockumentary #blackAF. Loosely inspired by Barris’ irreverent and honest approach to parenting, relationships, race, and culture, #blackAF uncovers the messy and often hilarious world of the fictionalized Barris family. We had the opportunity to chat to Genneya about her character on the show, experiences on set, and what it means to be a young woman of color in the world of film and television. Check it out:

You wake up tomorrow as the character you play. What do you do first? 

If I were to wake up as Chloe, I would freak out first but I think that’s a given. Secondly, I’d go through her closet and try everything on because her style is incredible and I can only imagine what her full wardrobe looks like. 

In #blackAF, you have a lot of siblings. Do you have a large family IRL? If so, were there any similarities to your rapport with your on-set family? If no, did the experience make you glad or sad you don’t? 

In real life I only have one older sister -- far less than the 5 siblings I have on the show! My parents' style of raising kids is not at all the same as Kenya and Joya’s, so I can't say there are really any similarities between my real and tv family in that aspect. Although with both of them I am lucky to be able to share my honest thoughts and feelings with them even if it’s hard at times. Even though growing up I did want a baby brother, I wouldn’t want to change anything about how my family functions now, but it was definitely an experience to almost live another life in a household that’s run so differently. 

Describe the premise of #blackAF to a five-year-old? 

#blackAF is about a teenager that is filming her family’s everyday life to send in to her favorite college in hopes of getting in. With parents like ours and six kids, things can get crazy at our house. We act a little more “out there” than a typical family so I don’t think it would be appropriate for a five year old, but you can tell your parents to watch it ;) 

What’s the first thing that you remember being a fan of? 

The first thing I remember being a fan of is Barbie. It was one of my favorite toys growing up and the movies are actually what inspired me to perform. Second, I think it would be Usher’s Confessions album. I had no business singing his songs as a child, but those songs are certainly timeless! 

Can you tell us about a funny experience you had on the set of #blackAF? 

When you’re working with Kenya and Rashida something funny is bound to happen everyday. We had a moment of downtime on set and Kenya was showing off some dance moves and Rashida hopped in and it turned into an impromptu dance battle. All I’m gonna say is they both can do a mean robot. Certainly a sight to see and I’m happy to say I’ve witnessed it in my lifetime. 

You began your career dancing before you moved on to acting. Has dancing taught you any valuable lessons for your acting career? 

Dancing has certainly shaped who I am today and I’ve been able to apply those lessons to everyday life. I used to be the most sensitive person on the planet, and although I still have my moments, the tough love from teachers gave me a thicker skin that is necessary to have in this industry. Particularly from being a competitive dancer I learned the value of teamwork and trust. A scene is a collaboration, not a solo, and when you have a scene partner you have to put your full trust in that person in order to let go and be vulnerable. Also, in competition you can’t win them all, and that’s certainly the case with this industry, and I learned from a young age to come to terms with things not always going as planned and to push on and work harder. The long rehearsal hours and high expectations to perform well every time prepared me for work days on set that could sometimes be 14+ hours. All of the hard work that goes into finally performing a 2 minute dance piece is similar to the endless preparation before a new project only for the final cut to be x amount of minutes long and that’s all people get to see. After all it’s about the journey not the destination right? Being a dancer instilled a lot of important lessons within me and I owe my current position to dance aka my first love. 

Without spoiling anything, did you have a favorite scene in the show that was fun to shoot? 

While on vacation things got a little heated between Chloe and Drea and we really had the opportunity to take it there. Both Iman and I have sisters and were able to relate to our characters in that moment. We were both completely understanding of the situation and each other's emotions that it almost made it feel as though we were truly sharing that moment together as sisters. It was a special moment for myself and it definitely brought us closer. It was a very fun challenge and I’m so happy to have been able to share that with her and portray the ups and downs that siblings have. 

How do you embody the mission of #BlackExcellence365 in your everyday work? 

I think that black excellence is our drive and ability to go for, and accomplish the great things we do despite the boundaries that have been set in front of us. We have so much power within ourselves and such a great ability to impact lives. As a kid, I only had a handful of young women of color to look up to and I am grateful that they have paved the way for young actors like myself. I am now in the position to possibly be that for today’s young girls, and it is truly a dream and a huge responsibility that I am thrilled to take on. I hope to take part in roles that can positively impact and inspire young girls to be the best versions of themselves that they can be. Representation on screen is so important and the media has the ability to shape young minds. So far I've had the honor to play a past role of a teenage genius who is a master at coding and is not afraid to be herself or speak her mind. I now get to play a young adult who attends a great college and is setting up her future. Those characters within themselves are what I believe to be some great representations of black excellence and if they positively affect at least one person I am proud of that. I’d like it to be known that it took almost two years of being unemployed before I landed my current role. At times it was tough and I honestly had a fleeting moment where I considered giving up, but I kept pushing and would have never gotten to experience being Chloe if I didn’t hold faith in myself! As my career goes on, I intend on using my platform to be vocal about things that matter most to me and inspire and pave the way for those after me. This is all bigger than myself and each accomplishment and even failure on the way to success that we share is an embodiment of #blackexcellence. 

Do you have any advice for young women of color who are looking to get into the acting business? 

When wanting to accomplish anything in life it requires hard work, resilience, and genuine belief in yourself. You will get more no’s than yes’s, but you cannot let that discourage you. When you know you have something special to share with the world, you have to keep pushing on. I’d highly recommend surrounding yourself with people that are like minded so you can uplift and push each other towards your individual goals. An African Proverb that I think describes this well is, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” So finding a strong support system whether that be within your family or your friends, I personally find to be helpful during the journey. When things get tough it is easy to get lost or caught up in this all, but remember to stay grounded and true to yourself. There is no one else like you, and that alone holds so much power! 

Thanks for taking the time Genneya! #blackAF is now streaming on Netflix.

[jadespeedster17]

I just got done watching a video that pointed out how a couple in a book series I read is bad for each other. Thus, after that trip and long conversations with my fellow fanders IRL I’m going to be picking apart couples in this web series and why some would work and others wouldn’t. 

This will be Part 1

Now keep in mind this is just my personal opinions from what I’ve read and what I’ve seen. Some of it is delving into Fandom area but others will be what we see in Cannon as well.  Sometimes couples I like will be ones I pick on because objectively they just aren’t good for each other. 

With that in mind let’s get started with the most well known couples.

Prinxiety (Roman/Virgil) - Everyone's favorite couple to either put through so much angst that I think these people either are really moody or have went through alot of shit. Like seriously, the amount of angst you find just is astonishing... And sometimes very unrealistic, but I digress.  But, though I like this couple in some instances, I find their relationship to be toxic and unreliable. 

Take into account their personalities in the series. Roman often shows his love by belittling or insulting a person. A thing we as fanders know to be because of his own insecurities. Now in comparison to self loathing and hating Virgil, who just takes it and even contributes to it. Regardless of if it’s just Virgil’s sense of humor, that still doesn’t make it right. How many friends do you know that insult you or don’t help you see the good in you. I can’t think of many instances where Roman, like Patton, would pick up Virgil after he tries to self-hate. Patton actively, though in a babying way, at least tries to tell Virgil he’s wrong about his hate. Which as we see takes our anxiety friend by surprise. 

Also there is the fact that Roman, as we saw in SvS Redux, really needs someone to be there for him. Virgil however also needs this. And this implies that if they were to be together it’s just be a struggle to get anywhere.  Not to say it couldn’t work, but it’d take alot of time. Roman would need to be more confident in himself and not take it out on others. And Virgil would be to be confident also and stop taking harsh words and such lying down. ‘

Though it is clear from the newest asides they do care about each other. 

All around a couple that has some issues that would make a romantic relationship hard. Platonic sure, I can see it because it works, but not romantic as neither I feel would suit the others needs. 

Logicality (Logan/Patton) - I do actually love this pairing, it’s cute and fluffy at times when the fandom puts them together. Not alot of angst I’ve found despite being popular couple number 2. However, with how the cannon portrays them to each other, they won’t work as a romantic couple in real life. 

To explain, Patton is very controlling, we see this through out the series. We know he doesn’t mean to be sometimes, but clearly being the side Thomas listens to the most, means he clearly has alot of power in the mindscape. Logan, by contrast, is very cold at times and very distant when it comes to his feelings or expressing them. Something he needs to work on. 

Several times we see Patton trying to force Logan to do things he doesn’t want to. The episode I feel this is highlighted in the most is Learning New Things About Ourselves. Logan isn’t one to just open up about things like how Patton, Roman, even Virgil are. Being these sides deal the most in feelings of many times.  Logan himself is a logical side, he things critically and prefers facts to solve problems. Patton however is very open and very feeling. And tries through out the episode to get Logan to express. Logan clearly is reluctant to do so, because it’s not his area and it’s not his thing. 

With people like this you can’t force them to open up, you can’t force them to express to you. It’ll just end terribly when you do and can even push them farther away. Which is what I think if happening with Logan.  Throughout this episode Logan expresses faintly that he doesn’t want to be see as a ‘Joke’ to them, because after all he’s logic. But the other keep disregarding him. Something it feels they are even guilt tripping him into it. Though we do see that Thomas tells them not to force Logan. 

To sum it up, Patton and Logan as a couple would be a rocky one at best because Logan can’t emote well and Patton can’t back off well. Both need to learn this because they could be a couple. 

Dukceit (Remus/Janus) - We don’t know alot about their relationship to really go into how they function. But if what Thomas said about the fandom being pretty spot on about their time together, then we can assume that as a couple they are pretty stable at times compared to most.  Janus clearly cares about Remus enough to listen to him and take in what he has to say where others won’t. And Remus, by extension, shows his appreciation by ‘gifting’ Janus with things. Possibly Remus seems to just love the attention and loves that someone doesn’t find him gross or immature. 

Janus clearly, if we are to go by fandom and Thomas’s words, wants Remus happy and they do seem to share a connection and lots of laughs.  I don’t ship these guys though, but if we are to go off of these things they would work rather well as a couple. Unless we find out more, this seems to be the outcome. 

Royality (Roman/Patton) - Now I’m not here to argue about how characters in a relationship would treat others around them. Just how they were treat each other. While I am of the opinion this couple would be a bit of a powerhouse to others they do work well together in some sense. Both are peppy and upbeat, Roman easily picks up Patton when he’s in a funk and vice versa. The amount of serotonin between these two dorks is something to marvel at. 

Granted in the new episode we see that there is some tension with Patton having really forced his own morals on Roman and this leads to tension when accepting new sides. But, as a couple they would work. I can’t see points that they lead each other one nor points were one tries to control the other, and in terms of words it’s mostly of encouragement. Patton clearly does care about Roman and Roman to Patton. This pairing really works well, has some rocky moments that can easily work through as no couple truly is 100% perfect, as I pointed out with the others. 

But out of all of the ones mentioned this one has the least amount of rough patches. They work together and don’t actively put the other down or force them 24/7. This does happen, but not often.  And I don’t pair them often, just from time to time. 

Analogical (Logan/Virgil) - These two are actually really adorable together and through out the series I can confidently say they would be great for each other. And this isn’t just me saying it, from all the evidence we see Logan and Virgil together just works. 

Logan has a calm disposition and is firm when he has to be, never once have I really seen them lash out at each other with harsh words. Only instance that comes to mind is when Virgil calls Logan a ‘Clueless idiot’. But that’s about it, any other time, even during the debate, afterwards they aren’t at each others throats and both seem to be rather comfortable around each other. Logan could easily be the rock Virgil needs to stand on his own but in his own time.

Virgil however is a good push for Logan, as he himself knows the value of taking your time. I can’t seem Virgil in the cannon ever forcing Logan, even in LNTAO Virgil was the only side that didn’t belittle Logan that much. Virgil was even reluctant, even if he was pressured into it in the end, and I can only think of once in which he did say something harsh to Logan... which was after Logan lashed out at Roman. (With semi good reason). Virgil easily could be that silent partner that Logan needs to feel something but within his own time. 

Granted it’d be a long courtship and time for them to learn each others cues as Logan is hard to give out love. But once he does open up he’s a mess that needs to be loved back. Same goes for Virgil, but where they work and Prinxiety doesn’t is that they are both used to giving gestures and reading the air. Where we have established Roman isn’t really good at.  Virgil could pick up easily when Logan is having problems and when to approached. And Logan is good at understanding when people need space and isn’t afraid to just talk about it rather than let things linger. 

They’d still have their problems, what couple doesn’t. But it wouldn’t be near as bad as some of the others. 

Moxiety (Patton/Virgil) - Where to start with this... I mean, it’s not a bad pairing but it’s also not a great pairing. Not for reasons some think. Honestly I could care less about the argument of ‘Son/Father’ shit that is peddled. It’s been established that Patton thinks of all the sides as ‘Kiddos’ even Thomas, even if none of it is true and Virgil and Patton are technically the same fucking age as Thomas is. Patton just is the group ‘dad’ and truly believes this. 

I digress, as for how they work as a couple it could be good or bad. This is one that it really does depend on how you look at the series as a while. Me, I’m on the fence.  On the one hand Patton is a good self esteem booster for Virgil when the other needs it. And Virgil is calm and understanding of how much feelings can be.  On the other hand Patton can be very forceful with Virgil and sometimes even baby him as we saw in the halloween episode. And Virgil does resent this, stating he is strong enough and doesn’t need to be coddled. 

Clearly there is a imbalance of power there also as Patton is possibly and ‘older’ side as in he’s been around with Thomas much longer. Thus is why he’s the one most listened to. While Virgil doesn’t have as much power as the other sides in terms of the amount he’s listened to.  It’s getting better though, Patton is trying to baby him less and let him really be heard. He’s listening to Virgil rather than assuming things. It’s slow, but it’s working.

In the end, it’s really on how you see it. This could either be a really good couple or really bad couple depending on how one writes them. Cannonly, it could work with time, but we’ll have to see as the series goes. 

Logince (Roman/Logan) - Not sure where to start with this one. Maybe at the fact Roman picks on Logan just as much as he does Patton. Or maybe with how Logan doesn’t take it laying down, most of the time, and does have a sharp tongue to lash back. 

These two are at tensions with each other, even after Why We Get Out Of Bed In The Mornings. Heck that was a whole episode about the tensions! And there is still tension as we go. Roman really needs to get a handle on his self esteem issues before pursuing any relationship I feel. Something I think is going to come up as Thomas enters one.

Logan has been seen lashing out verbally and once even psychically at Roman. He felt bad afterwards, but we can’t say it wasn’t justified with how Roman treated him. Having problems with feeling like he’s not listened to, interrupted, and something even insulted.  And again Roman’s problems with insulting others to boost his confidence comes back into play. Why it doesn’t affect him with Patton is because with the moral side Roman feels wanted and needed, with the others he lashes out because they make him feel that way. 

Logan even did insult some of Roman’s passions, which we know to be a sore spot for the creative side. Roman already has many problems as he’s limited by what is morally right and wrong. He puts time and effort into his things, and it hurts when someone comes along and insults you’re hard work.

Now whether they meant to do this too each other or not is up or debate. You could argue that Roman’s problem is internal and not directed at anyone. You could argue the same for Logan, or argue that the others need to learn that what they are doing is harsh even if they don’t mean it.  Regardless this couple would really need to work on these problems before ever getting together. It’s not something small like communication or feeling problems and can be fixed with the right person. This is them both putting the other know, internationally or not. And that’s not a healthy relationship at all. 

I’d say after they work through that Roman could be with just about any side. And some goes for Logan with Patton or Roman. With Virgil it’s not a huge problem as Logan never once has taken out his frustration on him, might be due to Virgil’s calmer nature, who knows. 

So yeah, that’s the end of part one. I’m not saying none of this would work, I’m saying with how they are NOW they wouldn’t work. We’ll have to see have the series progress how it goes. 

[child-of-the-danube]

Lemme get heated for a moment, ok? Now, before I pop off, the criticism isn't directed towards the queens cause I genuinely enjoy most of them on TV and irl. I say most of them because some have shown to be shitty people but that is a conversation for another time since it touches on serious issues such as racism and transphobia. This is just opinions on a show that shouldn't get me raging but somehow still does and I hate that a tv show can make me this mad. What we see on TV is a curated image on which we can not base a proper opinion about the work/personality of the queens. Why? Because for what they have to do on the show, in a highly stressful environment, cut off from their regular support system (all of which definitely plays with their emotional state in that time and affects their behaviour), they would most probably take a lot more time to plan out, rehearse, touch up, perfect etc. in real life and not everyone is a jack of all trades which the show wants them to be all the time or else they fail... My critique is directed towards the format and the judging/bias/favouritism/clear dislike of some queens and so on.

Now, on to me snapping

I know a large part of the rpdr fanbase (a part, not all) doesn't know what a queen does or what kind of performer they are before they appear on TV which is understandable cause you can't keep up with an infinite amount of drag performers and go to everyone's show but god damn anyone who's been to a Joe Black show knows what kind of performer and star Joe is. I'm angry they brought him back just to shit on him again when he is arguably one of the biggest and most respected drag performers in the UK. Same goes for Ginny, same goes for Divina. Name dropping cause the lack of understanding for their drag/dislike towards them really showed. In UK season one Divina literally turned look after look each week stepping massively out of her comfort zone since she isn't a look queen and they had the audacity to call her runways "questionable" but praised some very much safer, simpler runways ???? Joe's first elimination was pure bullshit and he definitely didn't deserve to be in the bottom and I will forever be pissed about it!! While this performance wasn't stellar it wasn't completely shit either. The United Kingdolls were fantastic, don't get me wrong, but Bananadrama gave me, someone who lives for Eurovision, more of an early and 2000-2007 era Eurovision vibe where it literally was just a few people in simple/low budget campy outfits awkward dancing on a stage and that is what I took it to be. Graham's comment that they weren't cohesive in looks doesn't hold. At least they were all in a shade of pink and a dress/skirt (and yeah Joe's dress was simple as hell but it still looked right in regard how they chose to look as a group. Astina won a challenge in an ASOS jacket and shorts. This is no shade to Astina and her runway look but a call out of hypocrisy and the rage fit over H&M was unnecessary) while the other group had each of them in a different, for lack of better wording, character. Tia shouldn't have been bottom 2, just sayin. They praised her, she stepped it up in her own terms (and everyone steps it up to their own possibilities and vision). Seems like they just really enjoy seeing Tia lip synch.

I feel like this year gave us some of the best queens in a while but the shitties judging in years. And not just on UK but US too.

No one is calling Tina Ronald McDonald Burner out for constantly looking like ketchup and mustard but every other queen with a signature thing is asked by second episode to show something else cause they want to see vErSaTiLiTy. I mean, bitch found a way to incorporate red, orange and yellow on a little black dress runway ?????!!????!??!? While I adore the hell out of Gottmik, she was safe last week solo for the look and being fan favourite. And so the show could play on that no longer existent Tamisha/Kandy drama and make them lip synch against each other. They bashed Tamisha for having a too simple dress but Olivia got away with an even simpler dress cause they liked the hair ?????

Denali and Rosé had the hardest choreography, which they executed perfectly, and Denali for me, beside Mik, had the best look of the week and both her and Rosé were just safe???? Yeah, Rosé didn't have the best runway look but it was miles better than what Tina, who was in the top, did and those two should have been in the top too. And omg Tina's hair choice... *insert Jimbo's rant about Rita's wig here*

In conclusion, the queens deserve to be judged properly and fairly because they are all great but the predetermined choices and favouritism is showing a whole fucking lot. Not only is it bothering for viewers but it ends up being bad for the queens too because people will start disliking them for being favoured and that's just sad. They did nothing wrong and don't choose how they will be treated/portrayed on the show. It's just production fucking them over while trying to push them to success on the show.

[lilchibi-chan]

Bakugou x Student Reader

This is an HC on Bakugou confessing his feelings and how I think it would go. Hope y’all enjoy!

You transferred into UA based on recommendation from Aizawa in the middle of first year. You were placed in his class since you were there based on his recommendation and the fact that your parents have been friends with him for years. You watched the student festival and you were very excited at the fact that you were gonna meet the very students you watch on tv and experience their quirks irl. You were most excited to meet Bakugou considering you thought he was very cute, even with his hot headed ness and temper. When you got into class you introduced yourself and we’re placed in the seat next to him. You internally fangirled, but you felt a smile creep on your face and hoped Bakugou wouldn’t notice.

“Why do you have such a stupid look on your face extra? You sick or something?” He says catching you off guard and causing you to feel very embarrassed.

“I-um,” you couldn’t find your words, you were so nervous. How were you gonna explain to someone you barely knew that you basically had a crush on them.

“Tch-dumbass.”

He started staring at you and whenever you turned he would look away and start blushing, which made you smile.

That was your first day though. You’re now in your second year and you and Bakugou have gotten closer as friends, even seeing his vulnerability sometimes in his own Bakugou way. He was never good at showing his emotions, but you saw him even if he didn’t want to show you, you see when things hurt him, when he felt weak, when he felt like he wasn’t good enough. You would try and talk to him to comfort him and there would be times where he pushed away at first, but then asked you to keep him company because he didn’t wanna be alone. People only saw him as a hot head with a big ego that didn’t care, but you saw past that. You wanted to know Katsuki Bakugou. The REAL Katsuki Bakugou and the that’s what you did in the short time you knew each other.

You were in the middle of class when you noticed out the corner of your eye, a small piece sliding over to you.

Meet me on the roof after school.

AND DON’T BE LATE DUMBASS!

You laughed because that was typical Bakugou, but then again you were always rushing everywhere so he did have a point.

You write back: OK ( ◠‿◠ )

He turned away from you after you gave the note back, but you could tell he was smiling, which made you smile in return.

It’s finally the end of school and Bakugou ran out of the classroom as soon as the bell rang. You were about to head out of class, but you were stopped by Mina and Uraraka.

“Hey Y/N! You wanna head out with us to get ice cream?”

“I would love to, but I’m supposed to be meeting Bakugou.”

“Oooo you finally gonna tell him about that big crush,” Mina says making you blush

“Mina, stop teasing... but are you,” Uraraka asks

“I don’t know. He’s actually the one that asked to meet.”

“Interesting,” they say simultaneously

“Well have fun. If it doesn’t take long, come to the ice cream shop. I’ll send you the location.”

“Okay, I’ll let you know.” You say then head to the roof where Bakugou is waiting

“Hey Bakug-” you get cut off by him

“What took you so long?... Never mind,” he says with a softer look on his face,“I’m happy you came. I didn’t think you would.” He says somewhat mumbled but you still understand what he says

“Of course I would come,” you say honestly,“I would do anything for you.” This causes him to blush because he wasn’t expecting you to be so forward and it’s definitely not something he’s used to doing when it comes to his feelings

“Well uh, you’re probably wondering why I brought here...well why I asked you uhhh to come here,” he says a bit shy

“Just a little curious,” you say

“Look Y/N, I-dammit. I um... ugh c’mon Katsuki just spit it out,” he says to himself

You laugh at how nervous he is, not to make fun of him but because he was just so cute to you.

“W-why are you laughing?!” He says with his temper getting the best of him

“Cause you’re so cute,” you blurt out and then realizing what you said you quickly cover your mouth.

“I-I’m not cute, I’m cool,” he says causing you to laugh and somehow this moment made him a little more relaxed

“But anyway, I asked you to come up here, so that I would have no distractions, but I can’t even get my own stupid words out. Ugh whatever. Here it goes. Y/N, I-I like you okay! There I said it!” He said trying to play the “cool guy” act he always has up but you could tell he was still extremely nervous and that this was really hard for him.

“Y-you what?” You ask kinda shocked, but still over the moon

“I said I like you dumbass!” He says still blushing very hard,“S-so how do you feel?” He asks curious

“Bakugou, I’ve liked you since like forever. Actually, since I watched you at the sports festival.”

“That long huh?” He asked cockily

You laugh

“There’s my Bakugou,”

“Y/N, w-would you wanna hang out with me in my dorm and watch movies. W-we could watch whatever and maybe c-cuddle if you want.”

“I would love to Bakugou,” you say accepting his invitation

“You can call me Katsuki,” he said coming closer to you

“Ok...Katsuki,” you say and you both head to his dorm to watch Spirited Away. You sat between his legs and he propped himself up against the making sure you’re comfortable. He has his arms wrapped around your waist, squeezing you a little every now and then to hold you closer.

You both end up falling asleep, still cuddling.

If y’all want a part 2 of this lemme know 💖

[getfit182]

Happy New Years my friends! The lovely @always-the-2nd created a wonderful idea of making a list of the top nine moments/realizations/achievements/feelings of 2020, and I’d love to participate in that. I’d like to start off and say that 2020 was a very intense year for all of us, and my household was no exception. From my partner getting COVID to wondering how I’ll ever complete my degree, there’s been a lot of stress on everyone’s mind; I thank any higher power and the universe for still providing energy and will to allow my partner to get up and go to work and I am so thankful that I still have my job too.

This is probably going to be a very lengthy post, but I think it’s important for me to spend some time writing here before I call it a night.

1. This year, I lost 15 pounds and gained 12 pounds back. I know that’s a weird thing to be appreciative of, but I want to start here because this has always been a fitness/health blog, and I want to be as honest as possible. In May, I started logging my food again and taking daily walks, and really making sure I was taking care of myself. I was a lot more carefree back then haha. I didn’t have the weight of teaching and writing on me. I was stress free in most aspects of my life. Hence, slowly but surely, the weight sort of came off. It took about six months to lose 15 pounds, but then, school and life hit, and I gained 12 of those pounds back over the course of one and a half months (yay PCOS!) But, strangely, I don’t see this as failure. To me, failure would be absolutely giving up, and perhaps, I did that during November when my parents were causing me to cry every night and my finals were coming up. But, I recognize that to lose 15 pounds is an achievement and if I did it once, I can certainly do it again, and do my best to keep at it.

2. I started to better understand my PCOS and my family’s history of diabetes, and started to take some more preventative and wholistic measures. I started taking the right vitamins and gradually, I found that some of my symptoms have calmed down. It took a very very long time to figure that out, and I sort of hate taking so many supplements, but I am grateful that I do take them.

3. I submitted my first chapter of my thesis! LIKE WHOA! I’m not exactly writing about very happy things (I’m writing on torture). But turning to my work and writing has always been my coping mechanism and I’m glad I pushed out a viable chapter and that I have something set up for the next one. Also: 3A would be my lovely thesis advisor. Bless her for putting up with my emo ass xD.

4. I bought a ring, proposed to my partner, and he said yes! Granted, literally only my irl best friends, his parents, and you guys know, because my own family would absolutely lose their shit, but I am grateful to have his hand to hold through all of this.

5. My partner’s experience with COVID. It was so terrifying. So so scary. To have him be sick for so long was something we’ve never experienced. I can’t believe we endured that for so long and made it out relatively okay. 

6. Spending time alone. As much as I love my job and cohort, I’ve really enjoyed taking some of this time to myself. There are some days I don’t even talk out loud. It’s amazing. It’s relaxing. It’s so important to spend time alone, and I’m glad I’ve come to appreciate that more and more.

7. I’ve gotten relatively good at baking? I don’t always share my food stuff here, but I made a collection of Christmas cookies this year for my partner’s coworkers, and they gobbled them up. I’ve made several pies and tarts from scratch, more breads than ever, and cakes as well, all while experimenting with low sugar recipes. So I’m really glad I got the chance to share some treats with people as well as trying new recipes that are more rigorous and difficult.

8. I’m really glad I got back into gaming, and gave World of Warcraft a good shot because it’s an amazing game with amazing lore and it really takes the edge off of a long day. I can’t wait to work my way up to Shadowlands, and even though I have to stop playing at the end of January, I’m really glad I found another outlet for my emotions and that I can discipline myself with playing only a certain amount of time a day/month.

9. TW: SELFHARM: I don’t talk about this part of my life here, but here’s to making it through another year without hurting myself intentionally. It’s only been two years since I’ve really focused on recovery and my depression, and even though those thoughts come back all the time, I’m really really emotional but happy that it’s been two years without resorting to that. While I can’t change how certain parts of my body look, I can do everything in my power to heal the rest of me, my soul, and my body. And, most importantly, if any of you are struggling with this problem, please reach out to me or let me help you contact a hotline or medical help. You are not alone, and I am not alone.

This is incredibly long and personal, so I won’t be tagging anyone, but this was a very very nice way to remind myself that I did not waste 2020 and neither did any of you. If you need reminding of that, I urge you to follow my footsteps (and always-the-2nd’s!) and create this list. All the little things are worth living for. 

[themadauthorshatter]

WELCOME BACK ONE AND ALL!

Welcome back to MY take on Toppat!Charles, the series that gives you... angst and cliffhangers in every chapter, just like Game of Thrones😅.

In case you haven't read them yet here are links to the first three parts, which I recommend you read because the brief recaps don't do them justice.

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

BRIEF RECAP AND HEADCANON TO FOLLOW FOR THE POST TIME!

After his attack on Burt, Charles has caved and is now open to what Right has to say and vice versa. Henry and Gerneral Galeforce, more Galeforce, have been contacted by the Center for Chaos Containment and offered their men for one Henry Stickmin. Ellie has been good emotional support, but Henry goes against Galeforce and Ellie in order to save his friend.

Got that? Great!👍

So what's the headcanon this week? Well, @triple-threat-toppats and @azuri-the-imperfect-artist have AU's/headcanons that Toppat-ing is in Henry's blood, whether that be biological or otherwise, and we'll be meeting a new character this chapter who ties this all together perfectly😈.

We all good? FANTASTIC!

LET'S DIVE IN!!

We pick up where we left off with Henry outside as a receptionist, of sorts, freaks out that he called, telling everyone on the floor and shouting for an official to take the call.

Through this entire exchange, Henry rolls his eyes at how much of a fan boy the receptionist is, groans that no one can find an official at two' in the moring, and eventually takes a seat and listens as a few mid-ranking officials argue about who gets to talk to him; 10.6 anomaly, he's a pretty big deal to them.

They all fall silent when a man shouts, "Hand 'im over to me."

Henry should be scared, but he's glad that FINALLY someone is on the other end to talk to.

"Mr. Stickmin," says the official. "Nice of you to call."

"Who am I speaking with right now?" Henry asks as he stands up, not at all interested in playing games. (The irony that hit me after I typed that🤦‍♀️😂😂)

The official scoffs, "Not one for banter. I respect that. Son, name's Corporal Bill Bullet, leading official of the Center for Chaos Containment. How can we help you at this hour?"

Henry paces as he continues talking. "You talked to General Rupert Galeforce, right?"

"We did, actually. About you, but you probably already guessed that."

Henry looks back at the toppat orbital station, staring at it as he stays silent. Again, he is not in the mood for games.

Bullet sighs on the other end of the phone. "Guess you calling means you've made you're choice?"

Henry is quiet for a second and swallows a lump in his throat. "What happens if I agree to the terms?"

"Take a guess, kid."

Henry sees flashes of his life if he is in the CCC's custody and groans at the migraine said flashes give him.

"You're quite the interesting person, Henry. Robbing a bank with a bag, breaking out of prison by dogding and throwing bullets before stealinga police car, stealing a diamond by pushing yourself off a bridge, taking down the toppats, and escaping a maximum security complex with barely even a scratch."

Henry bites his tongue as he remembers those moments and their alternative paths INCLUDING the fails.

"But you didn't just get a few scratches, you did? 10.6 is a pretty high rating on our meter. Can't imagine what would happen to a person who causes as much chaos as you."

Henry shakes his head and snaps, "Just tell me!"

Bullet is silent once more, disappointed at how he can't at least tease what is essentially a rabbit walking right into an easily seen trap.

"We'll study the source of your... ability. How one person can live one life before jumping to the next, but existing like he did before that life ended.

"You may be a young man, Henry, but you've probably lived longer and died more than the rest of us put together. Why is that? How, excatly?"

Despite the knot forming in his stomach, Henry nods and hums to let Bullet know he's listening.

"There's also a certain balance to the world, one that shouldn't be bothered, 'less we want to cause A LOT of collateral damage. Lead to a lot of people getting hurt, cause a lot of casualties. You already lost one person you care about. What if you lost all of them?"

Henry gulps as he remembers the complex riot and how a robot was sent to tear down the museum he stole the Tunisian Diamond from.

Any of those people could've easily been Ellie or the General or, if he'd gone down the Toppat route, the entire clan.

Bullet may be manipulating emotionally, but he kind of has a point.

The chaos Henry causes is extremely dangerous, if what we've seen in StD, ItA, FtC, and CtM are any examples. Imagine if he had caused that sort of chaos in a major city, like real world New York or Detroit.

I don't know about you guys, but if something like any of the games happened IRL, all caused by Henry, there would easily be cities flattened to the ground with COUNTLESS fatalities.

"Helloooo? You still with me, Mr. Stickmin?"

Henry snaps out of his stupor and takes a deep breath before talking again. "Promise me you'll help. I want your honest word."

"Which I'll stay good on as long ad you keep your end of the bargain," Bullet retorts. "A quarter of our forces at your disposal to help you get your friend back as long as you turn yourself in to our facility. Deal?"

Henry is silent again, but when he speaks again, he tries something:

"Will I still talk to anyone outside? Send them any letters?"

"Not really. Think the government would handle our research well? Or what you can do?

"Last chance, deal or no deal?"

Henry stares up at the sky, counting the stars and moon, and then watches orbital station drift across the sky, covering part of the moon.

"Sir, we have a situation!" Someone yells on the other end.

Bullet does one if those angry growls or snarls. "Don't keep me waiting on your answer, Henry. Our resources are limited, too. Make your decision and call me back the second you do."

"Sir-"

"I'M COMING!"

The call ends and Henry lets out a sigh as he drops to his knees and then hugging them to his chest, shaking and now doubting whether or not he's making the right choice.

Unbeknownst to him, however, Ellie had followed him when he walked out and is struggling very badly with hiding her tears and sobbing from Henry, who is over a few feet away.

JUMP TO SOME FAN SERVICE!!😍🤩

Er, Charles. Jump to Charles. I SAID CHARLES!!!!!

Charles is mostly done showering, mostly because he's done washing and cleaning himself up, even shaving because he looks better without facial hair, and is now simply standing in the shower and letting the water fall on him.

He can't exactly remember how long it's been since he showered last, but he doesn't bother trying to because it only makes him think about how the government destroyers were blown up and anyone who managed to get on the station was killed as a message to the government and Henry and Ellie, and as an example for Charles, in case he gets any ideas.

He keeps thinking about how Henry looked at him before he went unconscious, how Henry did nothing to help him even though HE could've done something. He had before on missions, so what had stopped him then and there?

"I was wondering the same thing," Right says, though Charles doesn't hear him over the water running.

Charles gasps as he slips to the ground and realizes how he's thinking about his friend, forgetting Right was standing on the other side of the wall and curtain to keep an eye on him, just in case.

"N-no," Charles says to who he thinks is himself. "He... He wouldn't just leave me. None of them would."

Right rolls his eyes at this and steps closer to where he's in front of the curtain, though he does grab a towel. "You know, you talk to yourself a lot. 'S kind of freaky."

Charles curls into himself and into the corner of the shower and covers his ears. "Shut up! Just shut up and leave me alone!"

"How long have you been here?" Right asks as he looks up at the ceiling. "And why isn't Henry here to get you out? Aren't you two supposed to be friends?"

"Stop it!" Charles cries, curling into himself further.

Right smirks and decides to twirs the knife. "He helped that Ellie girl, didn't he? When she needed his help? I wonder if what they say is true? Birds of a feather flock together? They're both criminals, so I wouldn't really blame them for teaming up."

"SHUT YOUR STUPID MOUTH!" Charles screams. "YOU'RE WRONG! ALL OF YOU ARE WRONG! HE'S COMING TO SAVE ME, THEY ALL ARE!"

Right's smirk drops and he raises and eyebrow before drawing back the curtain.

Charles flinches back, covering his head and waiting for the strike.

But it never comes.

He looks up at Right, who's standing and giving him a look that says very clearly, 'I'm getting sick of your shit, stop.'

The two stare at each other for a bit, Charles wide eyed and scared before glaring as hard as he can.

Right keeps his bored expression because while he's probably in the best shape he's been in in a WHILE, Charles has lost at least twenty-five pounds and is cowering in the corner of a shower with long hair and clean shaven face; one lesson they teach you: you don't always need a mirror to shave your face.

The two continue their staring contest until Right slings the towel over his shoulder, takes off his top hat, and reaches into the shower with his cybernetic hand and turns off the water, flicking any off his fingers before stepping back and putting his top hat back on, Charles staring the whole time in case Right attacks him.

Right doesn't, of course, and tosses Charles the towel before pointing to a set of clothes hanging behind him and , just something neat but comfortable, not exactly a sweater and sweat pants, but close enough.

He then walks away until he's facing the door, his back to Charles.

"Hurry up and get dressed. Your room's ready."

Charles dries off and does get dressed, but he's careful to not take his eyes off Right.

First this guy got Charles captured and isolated him from everyone else, and now he's letting Charles shower and have his own room?

What's he up to?

Don't worry, he doesn't talk to himself this time.

Charles finishes putting on the clothes Right gave him, and looks at the towel he'd just hung on the hanger that held his clothes. Then he looks at Right, who's back is still turned.

You know EXACTLY where this is going.

Charles takes down the towel, careful that it doesn't hit the wall, and starts twisting it up as he sneaks up to Right, who either looks down at a wrist watch or checks a pocket watch because now he's getting a little bored.

Just as Charles is about to get the jump on him, Right pivots to face him.

"Good. You're done. It took you long enough."

Charles is absolutely speechless as he goes completely pale his face drops.

"Here, let me take that for you." Right pulls the towel out of Charles's hands and unwinds it. "Shouldn't do this to a wet towel. Could get moldy."

Right nods his head as a 'follow me' and leaves the showers.

Charles remains shell shocked for a minute and tries not to burst into tears at how his plan blew up his his face, but ultimately walks after Right, who strides ahead with a smile on his face.

Think Henry got away with that call? Weeeeeeeelll...

CUT TO THE GOVERNMENT

Galeforce SLAMS his hands on his desk, making Henry jump slightly in his chair and Ellie flinch against the wall, her arms crossed and shoulders hunched.

"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND!? ACCEPTING THE DEAL MADE BY THOSE NUTJOBS!? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?"

Henry's sign is sloppy and fast, but the general still understands it. 'Wanted Charles safe.'

"So do we, Henry, but not by selling one of our best!"

Henry shakes his head and signs again, this time more clearly. 'You can't make me change my mind.'

Ellie speaks up after being silent for so long: "Henry, think about what you're doing."

'Already did. Made up my mind.'

"Son, it's not worth it."

Those words hit Henry harder than they should, making him grit his teeth.

"Trust me. Those CCC guys are nothing but trouble. We can't accept their help."

Henry shoots up to his feet. "I DON'T CARE!" He screams. "CHARLES IS TRAPPED IN SPACE WITH NO ONE TO HELP HIM AND IT'S MY FAULT HE'S UP THERE TO BEGIN WITH, SO LET ME FIX THIS!"

No one talks as Henry pants, falling back into his chair and holdong his head in his hands, pulling slightly at his hair and shaking.

"It's all I can think of doing. It's our only option. I can't think of anything else."

Ellie and Galeforce exchange glances before turning back to Henry, who leans heavily on one hand or arm as he meets their gaze.

"You're sure you know what you're doing?"

Henry looks at them both for a moment while not speaking before nodding slowly. 'I can't think of anything else. The corporal hung up before I could say yes. Someone talked about a 'situation.''

Ellie and Henry stare at each other, the former more puffy eyed than she was last night because this could very well be the last time she sees her friend.

She doesn't want him to leave, but if it's really his choice, who is she to not support him after all he did to help her?

"When do you-"

'I'm going in to visit later. Called back and told them I'd gove my answer AFTER I talked to someone.'

Both look at him incredulously.

"Talk to who?" Galeforce asks as he turns his head to look at Henry through the corner of his eye.

Henry takes in a deep breath through his nose and holds either of his hands at the top of his head, raising them up and down, gesturing a top hat to them.

BACK TO CHARLES

Right leads Charles to the room and watches him walk inside and look around, almost confused because it's been so so long since he'd last been in a normal bedroom. And because there's a chance this could all be a trick.

"Been a while since you had a decent room. Prob'ly nicer than what you're used to."

Charles takes a seat on the bed and keeps his head down, confused and tired of Right's games.

"You don't really believe Henry's gonna save you, do you? It's been a while since the last destroyer was sent and the government has more pilots. You military people are pretty easy to replace. You are just a pilot, after all."

Charles keeps his head down and lets his hair hang; it's obviously grown longer and Right gave him a razor but no scissors.

"Why are you doing this?" Charles asks. "What do you want from me?"

Right fights a smile and approaches Charles, taking a knee infront of him and waiting for the pilot to acknowledge him, which Charles does by picking up his head and meeting his eyes.

BACK TO THE CCC HEADQUARTERS!!!!!

Henry is being led by four guards and Bill Bullet. He hasn't gotten a lot of sleep, but he's good at not showing it.

"Weird request to visit someone before you make your decision. Usually we don't allow visitors." Bullet turns and sees Henry keeping up behind him, zoning out slightly but snapping out of it when he sees him looking. "You're not as talkative as you were on the phone the other night."

'Only way to contact you,' Henry signs.

Bullet smirks a little bit. "You deaf in one of your ears?"

'If I need to, I'll talk. Otherwise, I'll sign. Now where is he?'

Bullet sighs stops at an acrylic wall, seeing a doctor talking to a man.

Henry bristles slightly before calming himself back down.

"Guessing you two haven't talked in a while. I love reunions."

Henry narrows his eyes at Bill and gestures to the room. 'Private?'

"Enough. Don't worry, we won't listen in." Bill then grabs Henry by his jacket lapel and shoves him against the wall, catching the attention of doctor and occupant. "But I'm warning you right now," Bill growls as he leans close to Henry's face. "Try anything funny while you're in there, and I'll make you regret ever being born."

Henry nods and Bullet backs off him, letting him collect himself as the doctor walks out.

"Sir? He's done with his tests. His vitals and mental state are stable. He's also ready to see his visitor."

Bullet sweeps a gesture to the door. "He's all yours, Mr. Stickmin."

Henry nods and enters the room, his eyes on its occupant.

The two stare at each other for a bit, taking in each other's features.

"Hello, Henry."

The man in this room used to be moderately fit, and a REAL charmer, but years spent in the CCC's facility have taken their toll. He's gotten skinnier, his face is wrinkled and sunken in, and his hair, while it's slightly longer than Henry's, is greying and becoming thin. He doesn't look terrible by any means, but he has definitely seen better days.

He has cybernetics for both his arms and one leg, along his spine, neck to tailbone, and in part of his jaw. Where his left eye used to be, the eyelids are closed and flat; he's not even allowed to have a glass eye.

Being overthrown by Reginald Copperbottom, both literally and figuratively, forever left him with a permanent reminder.

The two stare at each other for a little while longer before Henry replies to the notorious worst leader in the toppat clan's history.

"Hi, Dad."

The two continue staring, Henry shuffling in place and Terrence rubbing his neck.

Henry signs, 'How is it here?'

"A hell hole. Nothing to do, no one to talk to, and you only get something when they say you can. Other than that, it's peachy."

Terrence's eye darts to the guards and Bill before moving back to Henry. "Guess what they said was true. You're actually coming here so you can save your friend."

"Yeah," Henry replies after a second.

I know I'm putting in a lot of pauses, but these two don't even send letters to each other, so sharing a room and having a conversation for them is awkward and extremely uncomfortable.

Back on track, Terrence scoffs at Henry's line of thinking, commenting, "And I thought these doctors were crazy. Let me guess: Reggie decided to take something from you because you took something from him? He always was a child."

'Reginald's been in prison since I arrested him.'

"You arrested him?" Terrence repeats as he stands. "The leader of the toppat clan, the most infamous group of bandits and thieves, and you just turned him in to the government? Why didn't you join him, you would've been perfectly fine!"

'Right hand man has my friend, I need to get him back. That's why I'm here.'

Terrence puts his hands on his face and groans. "No. Do not tell me I'm hearing this." He meets eyes with Henry, who nods with a shrug.

"You broke out of prison with a bar from your own cell, stole a diamond on a scooter, and escaped a maximum security prison, but you arrested the leader of the toppat clan, the son of a bitch of did this to me-" Terrence holds his arms out to gesture to his cybernetic body. "- and gave him to the government, but didn't see his lap dog wanting to settle the score or even the odds with you!?"

'A lot goes through my head on missions, okay!?'

Terrence nods, humming cheekily. "I'll bet. Think it would've gone better if you'd used that gun you had? We both know he wasn't going to do anything."

Henry sees himself charging at Right rather than throwing away his gun, but signs back, 'You don't know what he would've done. You haven't seen him.'

Terrence points to a tv in the corner of the room, one right next to the camera. "Saw how he got an upgrade. You can groom and pamper a dog all you want, its bark will still be worse than it's bite."

Henry spots Bill talking to the guards before waving at him and tapping on his wrist, more specifically on a watch. 'Don't take long.'

"Saw their orbital station, too. Like hell you're getting your friend out of space. And like hell sunglasses over there is gonna let you out of his sight if you're serious about that deal."

Henry looks Terrence directly in the eye and nods. 'I know.'

Terrence's face drops as Henry continues.

'During the mission, I hesitated because I was scared he'd kill Charles, my friend. I helped the government by giving them plans, but nothing worked. This is my last option. You are my last option. You weren't around then to tell me what to do, but I need you now because for once I have everything I could ever want, and I'm about to lose it all for being a coward. I know you're not going to like it, or even care, but I just need you to be here when they bring me in. Just be there and tell me I did enough for once, when you're really around. That's all I need right now.'

It's this that makes Terrence drop the "tough loving father" act and makes him realize that this is for real. This is not his son saying, "I made a mistake, fix it for me." This is his son telling him that this is his plan and he needs support to know he's doing the right thing.

Henry is extremely shaky because this is something he does not do with his father. They aren't usually open with each other, as in they do get emotional; toxic masculinity at its finest... and daddy issues.

Regardless, Henry collects himself before signing again.

'I'm going to agree to the terms. If they can send a piece of the ground to space or erase the universe, then they can help me. It's all I can think of doing that'll work.'

Terrence is quiet for a moment, looking at Bill and the guards as they gossip about something before turning back to Henry.

"Are you absolutely sure about this?"

Hebry nods. 'It's all that I can think of that's going to work. Again, if they can send a chunk of land of space or erase the universe, then they can help me.'

Terrence steps back and shakes his head.

"You're going to die here. You know that, right? I'm telling you now it's not worth it."

Henry's face drops.

"Look, I get it. You never were good at keeping friends, but, Henry, I'm telling you, just let this guy go. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life locked in a cage?"

Henry shakes his head as he signs. 'No, but I'm not going to abandon my friend like you abandoned us.'

"I had a clan to run, Henry!" Terrence snaps. "I wanted you to stay, have an easy life, but no. You two just ran off on me!"

'Just because something's easy doesn't always make it right,' Henry signs. He begins signing something else, but stops before continuing. 'Look. I'm accepting the terms. I wanted to tell you now ao you're not disappointed later.'

Henry holds up a hand in farewell and turns to leave, ready to get back to the base and start forming a new plan.

"Henry?"

He turns to see Terrence staring once again, but also sees his throat bobbing, like he's coughing or about to be sick.

"Good... Good luck. Getting your friend back."

Henry's eyes widen and he shakily nods. 'Thanks.'

The two stare at each other like before, but this time they slowly advance towards one another, maneuver their arms until they're in an admittedly awkward, uncomfortable, but welcome embrace; again, emotion is not their strong suit.

"You're going to regret it. Turning yourself in. Life's for living, and you're throwing it away."

Henry pulls back and waves 'goodbye' once more and leaves the room.

"Took you long enough," Bill says as Henry rejoins him. "Have a nice visit?"

Henry narrows his eyes.

"Well, you got your visit. Hope you know how to get into that station."

Henry takes one last look at his father before nodding.

'The terms-'

"Same as advertised," Bill interrupts. "A quarter of our forces as long as you come quietly so we study your ability."

'AFTER my friend is rescued and safe.'

Bill waves him off. "Fine, yes. After your friend's back home and safe." He holds his hand out infront of him and Henry. "What do you say, Henry? Do we have a deal?"

Behind the acrylic, Terrence watches the two of them, his hands against the wall and his eyes on his son.

Henry keeps his eyes on Bill's hand before looking into his eyes. With a mental push, he claps his hand into the corporal's and shakes it, nodding.

"Deal."

Terrence bumps and shakes his head against the wall. "You idiot," he murmurs. "What are you doing?"

AND THAT'S A WRAP ON PART 4!!!!! Oh my goodness, did I enjoy writing this one! A lot of twists and turns and opportunities to just leave you all hanging, I'm not even joking. I haven't really written manipulation or character dynamics like Henry's and Terrence's before, and I think I did pretty well.

Again, check out @multiverse-madness and @azuri-the-imperfect-artist for their Terrence Suave AUs because they are both amazing artists and, honestly, do better with the character than me.😅

For real, all of you, thank you, thank you, thank you, so much for your patience with this one. Like I said in my update post, I have a lot going on in my personal life and just couldn't get in a good creative mindset to do this.

I know we didn't see a lot of Charles this time around, but that's gonna change in Part 5😈

ANYWAY, thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed, and HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!!

[telli1206]

(1/2?) Never not gonna take the opportunity to compliment one of my favourite writers (and people) to exist. 😘♥️ SO, Telli… what do I love about your writing, let me count the Everything. I swear on all that is holy, you have to be the only person on earth who could make me love Doug even for five minutes, which is a talent in and of itself lmao. Before I read TWD….. could not have possibly imagined a reality in which Doug and Carlos being friends would be super cute, actually. But here we are! I am forced to contend with this reality thanks to your powers of fix-it characterization. ;)

Anyway, now that I got that off my chest jkldjlakjlkgsd…. you knowwww I adore your Jaylos, but of course I’m going to tell you that a million more times anyway. Your Jaylos fluff is alwayssss gonna be at the top of my list when I’m seeking a comfort fic at 3 AM. I feel like your writing just exudes warmth, if that makes sense. And well, you are a warm person (very much so 💕), but it’s something I felt from your writing before we actually talked, so… hmm, I think maybe that’s just a part of you that slips into your work, since IME the essence of a person is always visible through their writing. It’s kind of difficult to articulate ‘cause it’s more *felt* than anything else, but… warm, yes. That’s how I’d describe it. 🥰

With regards to the more technical side of things, some characteristics of your writing that always impress me are, 1) how gracefully you handle a large cast of characters, as with TWD; you give Jaylos and Malvie the sense of importance they deserve without sacrificing the other dynamics and I really admire that because I *know* how hard it is to pull that off and you make it *look* so easy and feel so real and natural, which goes into, 2) which is that your writing is so immersive because literally everything is so realistic but not the sense of… Reality 2.0, if you will? Like…. actual reality can be boring sometimes, but you know how media realism never has a dull moment when it’s done well and idk, that’s just your writing for me… TWD feels like it could be an *actual* wedding event IRL, and that brings us to 3) which is that you render such powerful and believable emotions, it’s impossible not to feel invested in what the characters are experiencing. I really, REALLY appreciate that in writing because my attention deficit ass cannot cope with an emotionally dry narrative. I need to be able to lean all the way in to what the characters are feeling or I’m gonna get bored in 2 seconds and your writing neverrrr fails to give me that kind of an anchor.

Sparrow!!! I can’t even handle all these beautiful words 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

Thank you so much for this, I can’t even think of the words to express my gratitude always for your support and love through any and all of my attempts to write. I’m so happy I have you here to reassure me through all of my many critical moments - you know just what to say to make me feel better 💖🥰 Thank you again and again for all of your beautiful, amazing comments and words about my writing, I love them all SO MUCH 💖💖💖💖💖

And thank you too for sharing my passion for all thing Jaylos! It’s so fun chatting story ideas and sharing sneak peeks and just having Jaylos-centric convos with you, it’s really where most of my motivation and inspiration comes from. I don’t know where my writing would be without you, you’ve helped push me through so many moments of doubt or uncertainty about my fics, but I know for sure I would not have as much content posted without you to keep me going!

And a final THANK YOU for being one of my very favorite Jaylos writers, and for so many beautiful fics that I love to read over and over again! You know I’ve gone back to No Song to re-read the new chapter I don’t even know how many times at this point, along with Djinn!Jay, Drunk!Carlos and many, many more. Your writing is so flowery and poetic and descriptive and beautiful - it’s purely unique to you and SO, SO good! No one in this fandom can paint the pretty pictures that you do in my mind with your words...not to mention the pretty pictures you actually create as well! You are the total package, an artist with your words AND drawings, and I know I’m not the only one if this fandom that is in complete AWE of your talents 🤩🤩🤩

And on top of ALL OF THAT, you’re also just hte sweetest, kindest, most loving and genuine person I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. Despite going through the loss of your beautiful little Jasper this year, you try so hard to put everyone here first, and make sure we’re feeling loved and supported even when you are going through your own things. I hope you feel like you’re getting the same love and support back from us, because I’m not the only one that wants to make sure that the glowing LIGHT that is SPARROW is always shining bright in this fandom, and that you’re feeling nothing but the love and appreciation that you deserve.

I’ll leave it at that for now, because I know I have another comment from you to respond to where I’ll add more love, but just...THANK YOU. And I LOVE YOU SPARROW 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

[kutemouse]

Buzzed

Disclaimers: I made and edited the gif above (I know it’s not that good but w/e lol). That’s why I’ve posted this under the #btsgif tag. Feel free to use however you like, just please give me credit for the edit. Thanks 💜

I did not create the gorgeous edits in my header, but I did edit them together into the frames, add my title, and my name. Credit for these amazing edits (from left to right) go to @jixio, @yeonkiminsgirl, and @kookbite. I did not touch their edits in any way, and their watermarks are intact. Please check them out, they do great work.

Age Recommendation: 21+

Genre: Bartender AU w/ Jungkook, Angst, Smut

Warnings: Alcohol consumption, swears, JK being the sexy, manly man that he is, very soft dom JK, making out, angsty feels

Word Count: 1,847

Damn, why is JK so fucking sexy? C;

You can find the original request here. They used my Prompt List:

Angst #26 He/she/person is hot, but evil.

Smut #46  Awww, you’re playing hard-to-get. That’s cute.

Smut #56  I’m gonna fuck you so good you won’t even remember that asshole’s name.

So I kind of took this and ran with it… enjoy C; Part 2 (with smut) coming soon!

Preview: Damn. This bartender might be hot, but he was evil. We sat in silence for a moment before Jungkook took my hand, startling me. I looked up into his large, dark eyes, his expression earnest, his mouth turned up in a half-smile. “Look, I know we just met, but… Can I drive you home tonight? I don’t think you should be alone.”

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

I rested my cheek on my hand, taking another swig from the beer bottle in my other hand only to find it empty. “Hey, can I get another?” I asked, trying to keep my words from slurring together.

The bartender glanced at me as he filled a shot glass. “You okay over there, sweetheart?”

I nodded slowly before resting my head on the bar counter, looking up at him through the strands of hair that had flopped over my eyes. “‘M fine, whadda mean?”

He chuckled, striding over as I sat up, setting a glass full of liquid in front of me. It was clear, but it wasn’t in a shot glass. It was in a tall one with ice in the middle. “What’s this?” I asked, sitting up.

“Water.”

I grimaced. “This isn’t what I ordered.”

“Yeah, I know, I’m cutting you off. You’re done for tonight.”

“The fuck?” I muttered. He tossed a smirk at me that made my insides flutter. Damn this bartender. He was extremely good-looking, with raven-black hair parted down the right side of his head, shiny from a bit of gel. His white shirt stretched over his toned torso, and his tight, dark jeans left almost nothing to the imagination. And if that wasn’t enough, he had lips that were a perfect shade of pink, his top lip half the size of his bottom lip, coming together in the middle to form the most perfect cupid’s bow I’d ever seen.

I blinked, shaking myself out of my stupor. “The fuck?” I said even louder. “Where do you get off?”

“Lower your voice, sweetheart,” he said, pointing to the glass. “And drink up.”

I reluctantly obeyed, wincing as I the cold drink hit the back of my throat. I downed the water in one go. “Can I have another beer now?” I asked.

“Nope.”

Damn. This bartender might be hot, but he was evil.

“Fine,” I muttered, leaning my head against my cheek once more.

I watched as he served the rest of his customers, biting my lip every time his muscles shuddered whenever he picked up a glass or pulled on the handle of the beer tap. I couldn’t believe I was doing this. I got dumped, what, only two hours ago, and I was already checking out another guy? Shit, I was pathetic.

That was nothing new, though. Just last week my best friend had told me she thought I had issues with being alone. Apparently that’s why I decided to stay with my asshole boyfriend even though I knew damn well he was fucking my other so-called best friend behind my back.

Once he finished serving everyone else, the bartender walked back over to me and refilled my water glass, setting it down in front of me before crossing his arms over the bar counter and leaning over it towards me. I flushed, not-so-subtly noticing the way his biceps flexed.

“So tell me, sweetheart,” he said. “Why are you here tonight?”

“No reason,” I mumbled.

“Uh-huh.”

“Just… needed a few drinks, y’know?”

He tilted his head, the black strands of his bangs falling into his eyes. “Sure. What’s your name?”

“None of your business.”

He chuckled. “Awwww, you’re playing hard-to-get. That’s cute.”

“Nothing cute about it,” I muttered, downing my second glass of water.

“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.”

I could feel the effects of the alcohol slowly ebbing away, and I sat up even more, feeling more coherent than I had all night. “Fine.”

“Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook.”

“Y/n.”

“So… y/n. Wanna tell me the real reason why you’re here?” he asked, looking me up and down.

I sighed. “My boyfriend’s a jerk.”

Jungkook raised an eyebrow. “How so?”

“He’s a cheating, lying bastard,” I replied matter-of-factly. “Hey, can I trouble you for another water?”

Jungkook grabbed my glass and filled it once more. “If he’s such a bastard, why are you still with him?”

“I’m not,” I said, gratefully taking the now full glass and taking a sip.

“So you dumped his ass?”

“No,” I sighed, slumping over. “That’s the sad part. I should’ve dumped him, should’ve made him feel bad for doing that to me… but I didn’t. I kept struggling with what to do, and before I could figure it out, he broke up with me.”

My voice cracked towards the end of my story, and Jungkook looked at me with concern in his large, dark eyes. His mouth had tightened as he listened, his large hands now gripping the edge of the bar so hard his knuckles turned white. “I hate cheaters,” he growled. “You know, it seems every week, I get someone in here, drinking themselves half to death, so wasted they don’t even know their own name… all because their significant other couldn’t be faithful.”

“I believe it,” I croaked, my throat thick. “People can be assholes.”

“Agreed.”

Jungkook sighed before leaning back. “Look, do you have anyone to take you home?” he asked. “So you don’t have to be alone tonight?”

I shook my head. “Nope. My two best friends are unfortunately out of commission. One is out of the town, and the other… Well, she was the one my boyfriend was fucking.”

Jungkook shook his head in disbelief. “Wow.”

“I know.”

We sat in silence for a moment before he took my hand, startling me. I looked up into his large, dark eyes, his expression earnest, his mouth turned up in a half-smile. “Look, I know we just met, but… Can I drive you home tonight? I don’t think you should be alone.”

I hesitated before nodding. It was quite late, I did need a ride, and although he was a stranger, something about him seemed trustworthy.

(Author’s note: Please, for the love of god, don’t accept rides or get in cars with random strangers irl)

Jungkook glanced over his shoulder at the other customers, some of whom were starting to pack up and stumble drunkenly out into the street. “We close in fifteen, then I’ll need half an hour to clean up, is that okay?”

I nodded once more. Nearly an hour later, I found myself out in the parking lot, scuffing my shoes against the pavement as I waited for Jungkook. The bar’s lights flicked off, and he came out, wearing a black leather jacket and making sure to lock the doors securely behind him. He turned, a smile spreading over his lips when he saw me. “You’re still here.”

“I still need that ride.”

He chuckled as he pressed a button on a key fob, a black SUV lighting up as it unlocked. “You feeling sober yet?”

“Sure am, thanks to you,” I teased as we clambered into the car. He started the engine and drove down the streets, following my directions until we came to a stop in front of my apartment.

Jungkook shut the engine off then looked at me. “You sure you’ll be okay tonight?”

I swallowed, the lump in my throat returning. “Well, if I’m being honest, no, I’m not sure.”

He gripped the steering wheel. “What can I do?”

“Nothing,” I said, swiping at a stray tear that had leaked out.

Jungkook unbuckled his seat belt and leaned towards me, tentatively reaching out a finger and caressing my cheek, wiping away a second tear. “You’re lying,” he murmured. “I think there is something I can do.”

He lunged towards me, crashing his lips into mine, surprising the fuck out of me. I shoved him back. “What the hell?!” I gasped.

Sitting there, with his large eyes staring at me, pupils blown beautifully wide, mouth parted as he held his breath, waiting for my next move, only three words came to mind. “Awww, fuck it.”

I took hold of his shirt collar and yanked him back towards me, pressing my lips feverishly to his. He shoved his tongue into my cavern, tasting it, exploring it, forcefully dominating my tongue with his in a way that brought my buzz flooding back, no alcohol needed. I began to push back, swirling my tongue around his before drawing back just enough to wrap my lips around the muscle and suck. Jungkook grunted and kissed my cheek, my jaw, then my neck, stopping to nip at the skin right where my neck and shoulder connected, drawing a loud moan out of me.

I clambered over to his seat, straddling him, and I could feel his hardening member even through both of our jeans as we continued our heated make-out session. Jungkook pulled back to once more kiss his way down my neck, and my senses came to as he started unbuttoning my shirt and mouthing at my cleavage. “Wait,” I panted. “We… We can’t do this.”

He groaned before leaning back in the seat. “Why, what’s wrong?”

“It’s just… I don’t know you, and I’m probably doing this just because I’m emotional, and I don’t want to be even more pathetic than I already am.”

Jungkook’s brow furrowed at my words. “You’re not pathetic,” he said. “You were hurt. You didn’t know what to do, that’s normal.”

I looked down at our laps, letting my hair fall around my face. “I was… I was weak,” I mumbled, my voice husky as my throat once again grew thick.

“No, you weren’t. So you don’t have some crazy revenge story… so you’re more careful in your decision-making than other people… so you took some time to figure out your next move… so what?” Jungkook said, lightly grasping my jaw and lifting my chin so we were looking at each other. I was surprised to see his wide, dark eyes so full of determination. “That doesn’t make you weak,” he growled. “That makes you rational and thoughtful… traits I like in a girl.”

A blush spread over my cheeks, but I didn’t look away. “Yeah, and that’s another thing,” I said. “I don’t want you to just be a one-night stand or a rebound fuck… If I’m gonna sleep with someone, I want it to be real.”

Jungkook leaned forward, our noses nearly touching, and I suddenly became very aware of the fact that I was still straddling him. He reached up and combed his hands through my hair, the strands falling between his fingers as I closed my eyes at his touch. “Who says this isn’t real?” he murmured. “You caught my eye the second you walked in my bar. We have a real connection, y/n. I don’t want you to be just a one-night stand, either.”

I didn’t know if what he was saying was true or not, but if I were to ever fall in love again, I knew that was going to be a risk I was going to have to take. I reached over Jungkook and pulled on the handle, popping open the car door and clambering off of him to the ground. I grabbed his hand, intertwining his fingers between mine. “Come on,” I said, nodding towards my apartment. “I have a bed up there that’s dying for some use.”

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Part Two coming soon!

[orderuponthe99prettygrimmdiaries]

Road to Recovery 👣

Well, this is gonna be a long ass one. Also, this has been kinda drafted over the past... week? So it’s gonna be a real rollercoaster of a ride. 

Had just binged Lucifer’s new season and was on reddit, looking at comments of redditors yelling at Luci to enjoy whilst he was finding stuff to freak out about. 

Like him, I should have just been in the moment. Appreciated it. Instead of worrying about the next. 

The past week has been.. emotional. Have been getting used to the fact that I might never speak or hear or see him again. Been also trying to focus on the bad to kinda ease the pain. At least it hurts a little less, less crying too. But it’s also like one day you do great, no crying, not much of missing and pain, but then the next, everything creeps in altogether and you fall apart. 

The thing is... why does it hurt so bad? Things had been weird for months. I mean, I was the one who was always preparing myself for him to leave, I was the one who told myself I’d be okay even if we never went on the date. And I guess it just boils back to... expectations. 

I expected him to care more, I didn’t expect that he’d be able to leave just like this. From regular convos to nothing in a week, now almost 2 weeks. I mean, we’ve had breaks. 1 day, 5 days, 10 days... It’s kinda strange if we were actually interested in the other. Maybe he wasn’t much of a texter and wanted to talk when we met. But did we really share much when we met? It’s odd... He doesn’t reply properly to texts, he disappears, he doesn’t really care much at times, but for some reason, I seem to remember the good more. It seemed like he does listen (at times), there were moments when I felt like he cared. A part of me still trusts him or sees the best in him. 

Initially, I was trying to avoid talking about him so I would also stop thinking about him and I could move on. But I think talking about it also helps. Did also google about moving on from crushes, and that is a major point. Maybe I’ll never figure out what really went wrong, but maybe I could still give myself some sorta closure.  Though reminiscing does hurt too. Going back to the place where we met, which is basically my workplace which I’ve to be at almost every day... The memories flooding in about the conversations we had. But it also helps me to acknowledge my feelings and fears, stuff that I suppose I didn’t acknowledge then. Maybe if I had been less afraid and tried harder, especially during the times we were both around considering how hard it was to get our schedules together. He probably thought I wasn’t that interested and moved on. Guys fall fast, but they seem to move on pretty quick too.

Ended up dreaming about him last night... It was really nice. There was a shipment, I didn’t let myself have hope that it would have been him. And he turned around, and it was him. I said hey and touched his arm. I headed off downstairs talking to the other guys, one of them was teasing me for giving him my number. He came down too. We sat there for a bit, and I asked if I could lean on his shoulder, and we ended up hugging too. That was just wonderful, but it’s sad to know it’d never be reality. 

And I guess all those breaks we had throughout the months still gives me the slightest bit of hope that he might return... But now, 2 whole weeks of not speaking. The glimmer of hope fades as each day passes. Maybe, distance is just what we need, I tell myself. 

But now, there’s also a new guy. So I’m guessing the likelihood of seeing him ever again is almost impossible. But is it really so bad if we never spoke or see each other again? Did he even really care? What were we? 

Feels like history is repeating itself, and honestly, after re-reading old posts, maybe it is. Okay, but this time was slightly different. I fought harder. I should be proud that I got his number, or well, convinced him to get mine. I should be proud for initiating those texts, for finally picking up that video call, for asking him out. 

I do wonder at times if it would have been better if I was just honest from the start, that I was interested and I felt there’s something special, different, but not entirely sure what it was. I had friends tell me that I shouldn’t be too emotional about too much, especially at the start. I mean, I did do this the last time, granted they were all online friends, and now we’re still friends. Maybe it’s different being online vs irl. 

Should I continue fighting for him or just let this be another regret/what if? I guess I chose the latter. I was still too afraid to make a move, I was still too afraid to admit my feelings. I wanted to tell him, I wanted to give him the choice. But I was afraid, what if he only says he feels the same because knowing what I felt? I couldn’t take the leap. 

And the more I thought, the less I knew. What did I ever really know about you? What did I like about you? I guess I didn’t listen to myself enough, or to the rational part at least. The closer you look, the less you see. By the time I remember this, it was a little too late... 

I guess I need to stop trying to define everything. Some questions don’t have answers. Some stories won’t get closures. Not all friendships require daily talking. Why aren’t I okay with this? Am I just too attached to everyone? Does my life just basically revolve around people? Who the fuck am I?

I had been looking back at my old posts, all the way back to 2015, the darkest period of my life. I wanted to see what I did then, how did I handle it and pushed myself through. How the heck did I move on? Sure, it took me like... at least 2 years of moping around, then finally actually properly reaching out to get the help I needed. A couple months of counselling, pushing the focus back on myself, on self love and self care.

And all this unravelled within a couple months.

Granted, I think it was already starting to unravel early this year. All these work and personnel changes really fucked things up, with Covid just adding to it. And then comes those unexpected feelings, not knowing how to deal with it, worrying about how I’m gonna fuck it up, and in turn, fucking it up. Also, not giving myself a break when I truly needed it. I was afraid that if I took a break from texting him (okay I wasn’t really obsessively staring at my phone and replying immediately either, but I could have taken a proper break), I might have ended up losing him, and now, I’ve lost myself, I’ve lost him. 

So yep, losing myself... this time, I don’t think I was able to keep it as contained as I did previously. Loss of appetite, exhaustion... I guess at least I don’t exactly sigh as much as I did during the start of the year? But I guess now with Covid and mom at home, she’s noticed the symptoms too. And I guess how I tend to stay cooped in my room, retreat back after meals etc, not really making as much convos with my parents too... Maybe even agitation or irritation as my mom noticed too... 

She thinks it’s more physical, with my abnormal periods and stuff, like maybe I’m anaemic. Oof, and that one day she asked if I was alright because I didn’t seem happy. I literally broke down when I went back to my room. I try so hard to mask it all because I don’t want people to worry, and I want people to still be able to count on me when they need to. Though I’m pretty sure my colleagues noticed too. So I push myself. Sometimes I guess I pretend to be alright, cope with humour as my defence mechanism (self preservation through dissociation, amirite?), but then it comes crashing down the next day or next minute. 

I’m just human. I need to allow myself to feel. I need to embrace that I feel a lot, sometimes a little too much. I shouldn’t hate myself for caring too much, for feeling too much. I need to remember to allow myself to rest, or else this burnt out and exhaustion won’t do me or anyone any good. Yes, I want to be there for others, but sometimes you need to save yourself first. 

I’ve got one life to live, so I gotta live it. Right now it feels like I’m just surviving, otherwise basically floating through time and space. But it’s time to really live. it’s time to stop trying to keep everything under control. Sometimes a mistake is a destiny and sometimes we mess things up for the better. Stop comparing your progress and path to others. 

Recovery isn’t a straight line. You’re gonna feel good and then bad. You’re gonna feel like a bad-ass bitch who needs no one, but then the next you might be crying from the pain of missing him. Sometimes it will just get worse before it gets better. Real growth isn’t linear, it’s a step forward and 20 steps back. You’re gonna be tempted to text him, to hear his voice, to try one more time, but then you also gotta remember all the progress you’ve made. People are hard to forget and change takes time. 

Like Chandler and Joey were nudging Ross to move on from Rachel back in Season 1, maybe your friends had nudged you to move on too. My friends have been. Maybe our happiness just aren’t meant to be with each other. But I would love for you to be happy, even if it’s without me. 

So, I guess imma do a separate post about all the lessons I’ve re-learnt. It was a real headache trying to write this piece already. Thanks to anyone who’s actually taken the time to read this. Take care everyone! 

X

[lgcyunhyeong]

hey there!! this is my first time in lgc and i’m super excited to be here! i’ve been eyeing this place for a while and i’m glad i finally mustered up the nerve to join. this is cho yunhyeong, 21, works part time at his local gs25. he’s been a trainee for little over a year and is hoping to eventually debut in a band! he plays the bass and sings a little bit, and he also wants to get into songwriting and composition eventually. he’s generally kind of a weird kid--super spacey, often distracted, your local space nerd--but he’s a good egg in spite of that. compared to some of the other trainees, he’s pretty aimless and chill, but he does genuinely love music and performing, so...!

you can find some more info about him on his about and background pages but they’re kind of messy so i’ll drop some quick facts about yunhyeong under the cut, along with some connection/plot ideas to hopefully kickstart things! if you’d like to plot, please hit like on this post and i’ll hop into your ims! i also have a discord if you prefer to plot there - just ask me for my username ♡

quick facts:

born and brought up in seoul - very local, most comfortable in his neighbourhood, the most exciting vacation he ever took was to busan (and it was #lit). his parents own the best hot pot restaurant in seoul, and yeah he’s biased but that doesn’t mean it’s not true! 

has an older brother currently in law school and their relationship is best described as ‘i tolerate you’. they’re complete opposites - his brother is super driven and loud and outgoing while yunhyeong is not so they’ve never really clicked beyond the fact that they are siblings and therefore are obligated to love each other

was the quiet kid growing up, had a very chill and subdued personality. didn’t really speak unless spoken too, didn’t play much with others. most of the time he kept to himself and focused on his hyperfixations - first, it was dinosaurs, and then space! and he’s been stuck with space ever since

his mom put him in music lessons when he was younger in hopes that a relatable hobby might help him make friends?? also that it’d work as a conversation starter but it didn’t because yunhyeong remained as weird and solitary as ever! he did fall in love with music as a result though

in high school he decided to branch out and make friends by starting a band - new age sexy aliens or NASA for short. his recruitment process was like: whoever shows up to join is part of the band! it worked out for the best since he and the band members got really close

they started off playing covers but then branched out into their own original music (yunhyeong helped write some of their lyrics). most of their songs used heavy space imagery and they were really pretty but also low key about aliens

yunhyeong loves aliens

nasa had a pretty dedicated fanbase both online and in their school! did well, were thriving, living their best lives and playing hella gigs, and then their lead singer got scouted by an entertainment company. it was the beginning of the end for them; the rest of the members went their own ways as well and the band officially disbanded in 2018 rip

yunhyeong started to busk on/off since he wasn’t attending university and didn’t really know what the heck else he wanted to do with his life outside of the band, and that’s where he got scouted by legacy! joined the company because like... well... why would he not...

wants to debut in a band if he can... and focus on songwriting and music composition as a secondary career path. he isn’t like... super motivated though? has always had issues with setting goals and being ambitious... he’s more like, eh, i’m just gonna go where life takes me! 

personality wise, he’s still a pretty quiet kid unless you get him talking about one of his interests, in which case he will never shut up EVER. he gets distracted easily and will sometimes zone out when you’re talking to him but has a good memory of like, the most random shit you wouldn’t expect him to recall

easygoing as hell, rarely gets riled up over anything. on the flip side, he doesn’t really come across as sincere (even though he almost always is!) in his emotions because people are like... hm... just feels fake. tries to stay as positive as he can and doesn’t dwell on stuff that might upset him. sometimes people think he’s shallow! but he has #deepthoughts. he just doesn’t share them

unmotivated when it comes to most things! has no goals, no ambition, doesn’t care much for academia or being forced to like, conform to things. his mom calls him a free spirit but she’s probably just making excuses for him. it’s more like he’s stuck in some sort of limbo?? scared of growing up but scared of being left behind. it’s complicated

he’s really a sweet guy though. a little odd - he’s not the best at showing affection and sometimes he can be really... strange? offbeat? you never know what the fuck is going on in his head. but he’s a Human Being Just Like You (sadly) and simply trying his best to live every day

connection/plot ideas:

he didn’t really have many friends growing up, but still - childhood friends! maybe you were the exception. maybe you didn’t mind that he was awkward and quiet and a little weird! maybe you tripped and fell on the playground and he gave you a star-patterned purple band aid and you decided you would die for him. who knows! 

friends in general who understand him and look @ him with fond exasperation... must be able to tolerate his antics. liking aliens is a bonus. jk, but he’s a sweet guy who loves his friends! please be kind to him

fans of his former band, nasa (or antis?). he was the bassist and a sub vocal and didn’t stand out too much compared to some of the other guys, but he always did the intros and he’ll happily talk about nasa all day! discuss the symbolism of their songs with him

exes? i genuinely cannot think of a single reason why anyone would want to date him but i feel like he’s had at least (1) relationship before... maybe you took a chance and after you started dating you were like, god, i’m running away

crushes, whether one-sided on his part or your part or reciprocated but you don’t know it yet?? he’s holding out for his alien bae but maybe you don’t know that and just think he’s like, this quiet mysterious pretty boy. maybe he thinks you’re cool for a human! 

fellow trainees who can play instruments... yunhyeong needs someone to #jam with because playing the bass alone is kind of lonely (and since he’d like to eventually get on the band track, making some connections would be cool) 

fellow trainees in general, especially ones in his training group!! he’s not as hungry for debut or as ambitious as some which means he’s a) non-threatening and b) chill to hang with. you could be into that or it could absolutely infuriate you since he doesn’t seem to be taking things seriously! maybe you think he doesn’t deserve to be here

met online on an alien enthusiast forum and you talk almost every single day about various theories and moves and all that kind of stuff but you’ve never met irl! and yunhyeong really wants to meet you in person! 

idk bully him 

you’re buying a bunch of weird shit from the convenience store where yunhyeong works at like 2 am and he has so many questions and won’t let you pay and leave until you answer them

alternatively, you find him sleeping on the job and you want to wake him up but the moment you touch his arm, he makes this high pitched screeching noise and you fall over and take an entire shelf of candy down with you

you invite yunhyeong out for drinks but he took one sip of soju and he’s a mess... you didn’t sign up to take care of a giant drunken baby but guess what! you will be! if he tries to kiss you, dodge him

you always bum free meals from yunhyeong’s parents’ restaurant because his parents think you’re his best friend. tbh you actually don’t really like him but he doesn’t realize it so he never bothers correcting his parents either!

you didn’t realize yunhyeong was allergic to cats and dogs and you brought your cat/dog near him and oh my god he is having the UGLIEST allergic reaction

yunhyeong can’t swim. you push him into a pool as a joke. chaos ensues

you play various video games together and yunhyeong is really good but he’s more interested in stardew valley than in league of legends and you keep pestering him to play with you dammit i need you on my team

you slipped a love letter under his door for one of his roommates but yunhyeong thought it was for him and now he keeps (kindly) rejecting you whenever you see him and you don’t even know how to react

Oh No We Are Trapped In This Room And The Power Went Out And I Am Scared Of The Dark Please Hold My Hand For Science

yunhyeong loves smoothies and one day you catch him trying to blend a slice of pepperoni pizza into a smoothie because he is, and i quote, “tired of chewing”

IDK ALL THESE IDEAS ARE BAD BUT PLEASE PLOT WITH ME ANYWAY

[justfor2am]

steven universe the movie au but it’s sanders sides

I’m calling it the Thomas Universe AU! 

(creative, I know)

okay but hear me out

anyone who is human irl is still human in this au...this would take place in FL where Thomas lives, and this goes with the assumption that the sides are real and his friends + family know/can see them. patton + deceit appear unconventionally, and i know it wouldn’t make sense for the canon sanders sides universe rules, but i’ve already disregarded most of those so...

also, i know it wouldn’t work EXACTLY like the movie obvs and some stuff would have to be left out (like the diamonds....sorry babes) 

also also I’m sticking a cut in here because i just realized this is gonna be a long one

Characters

Steven/Pink Diamond: Thomas (I’ll explain the PD later)

Garnet: Roman + Remus except it’s the opposite of a love story; learning to love themselves “unfused” as individual creativities (no remrom here please)

Amethyst: Virgil (i considered him as Pearl and you could make a case either way, but song-wise this works slightly better)

Pearl/Pink Diamond: Logan (see above, you could also make a case for him as Amethyst, and I’ll explain the PD later)

Bismuth: JayisJo (because i love them)

Lapis: Joan

Peridot: Talyn

Spinel: Patton + Deceit Fusion (yes, i know i know. i’ll explain)

Plot

Thomas is his best self, healthy, happy and surrounded with friends + family. They’re in the middle of fixing up their new office (Little Homeworld), and home (Thomas’s Apartment) is stable. The sides are all getting along, even as insufferable as Remus can be.

In this universe, Patton + Deceit were never thought to be “real” like the other sides. Whereas Thomas would film using his actual sides, he and Joan “invented” Patton and Deceit for the series’ storyline. They were, accidentally, repressed to the back of Thomas’ mind, and finally through their feelings of abandonment, come forth as one fused side called “Ethos”.

Ethos plants a bug in Thomas’ mind that would repress all of his sides back into his mind. He wouldn’t be void of personality, but it would hurt, and ran the risk of contaminating his friends. Since his friends don’t have sides, it would drain their personalities instead, and it’s a race to get Ethos to stop the bug.

Title Character Backstories

Steven Universe is self-explanatory enough, title character yada yada. Thomas also being Pink Diamond is meant as a younger Thomas, more so as a symbol of immaturity and also because I didn’t want to use Thomas’ actual mom because that literally wouldn’t have worked. 

(For Logan, see Songs: Drift Away)

“Garnet” would have been the result of the great Creativity Split. Roman and Remus, once expected to stick together as one side, have learned (sort of) to co-exist with each other. In this universe, Thomas has accepted Remus (after a lot of wor) and the two creativities are more brotherly. 

“Amethyst” would have been a reflection of Virgil’s time with the “dark” sides. Young and impressionable, him learning to accept love from the “light” sides and be himself despite the fighting between the two halves.

“Pearl” is a call-back to Logan’s quickly shifting from “Teacher Guy” on Vine to “Logic” in Sanders Sides. He felt his only purpose was to help Thomas; any emotions he felt were meant to be disregarded.

“Spinel” as a Patton + Deceit fusion still has her original stretchy powers, because with Deceit’s constant usage of shapeshifting and Patton’s joking manner, it just makes sense. They have Deceit’s Director!Patton Disguise, with four arms and two eyes, one blue and almost constantly tearing up, the other Deceit’s snake eye. There’s a monocle on the blue eyes, and small patches of snake skin. They also have a top hat, because snazzy.

alternatively: pick whichever fusion of them that @fangirltothefullest​ drew because that’s kinda the best way to visual them. 

Weapons

• Instead of a scythe-style Rejuvenator, Ethos have a collapsible staff that can be split in two, each half with a long, thin blade inside. Swiping the sides with a blade does the same as a Rejuvenator + plants the “bug” in them. For Thomas, it only plants the bug.

• Roman uses his sword, and his shield to launch Remus in the air for attacks. Remus sticks with his morning star. Neither have future vision.

• Virgil doesn’t have a weapon, his “power” would be speed and darn good punches. He still has his “tempest tongue” ability, when his anxiety is extremely high.

• Logan has a shortbow, but is not above straight up wacking people with it.

Songs

Let Us Adore You:

Since I don’t have a Diamond equivalent, this song only really matters during its reprise.

Happily Ever After:

Moves the plot from Thomas’ house to “Little Homeworld”. Logan is being taught the bass by Jamal at his house (Logan is summoned by Thomas to the office later). Thomas drives to the office and talks to Roman and Remus, who’re play-fighting and writing scripts. 

He walks into a room to be stopped by Virgil, because he was about to step into a can of paint. (This is one of the unfinished rooms). Joan, Tayln and Jay are there too, helping out. By the end of the song, Thomas is standing outside with all of his sides, enjoying the sunshine and being happy.

Other Friends:

Ohhhh boy. Ethos monologues at them for a bit, perched up on a lamppost. Logan recognizes them (this will be important later). They’re clearly unstable, and the sides get ready to fight. 

Ethos uses their instability to their advantage, fusing and unfusing quickly around them to avoid getting hit. Ethos also uses their rubber powers to throw Logan into the air and letting him fall, trapping Virgil in a tree, and knocking Remus’ and Roman’s heads together. He finishes it off by scaring Thomas and pushing him into the ground, jumping back on the lamppost.

They all regroup, in pain, and after Thomas’ obvious lack of recognization, Ethos is only more unstable, yelling. He pulls out the staff and poofs the sides. Thomas manages to poof Ethos as well, but not without getting hit first.

system/BOOT.PearlFinal(3).Info:

We have this nice intermission where we see all of the sides “reset” and Logan narrates as his episode 1 self. Here we see Remus and Roman fuse automatically, without showing their individual forms. They pose still and quietly, without their individual quirks. Virgil forms as his Pre-AA self, bitter but also quiet, looking very nervous and trying to blend in.

Ethos reforms, but not fused. Deceit and Patton are both happy and friendly, acting like a Spinel-duo. Patton specializes in jokes + puns while Deceit does more physical humor. Deceit’s outfit is white instead, and he has no hat. Patton’s outfit is is original cardigan one. Patton and Deceit also finish each others sentences.

Thomas beings to notice the bug affecting himself, stinging him occasionally.

Who We Are:

Thomas is moping around while Jay, Joan and Talyn try to help figure out a solution. They set on the plan to make them all remember who they are.

Isn’t it Love?:

Remus and Roman accidentally unfuse, and they both feel a breath of fresh air. Neither of them have a proper “form”, and they take the song to pick out who they want to be. While they’re both much happier apart now, they still don’t know themselves.

No Matter What:

One of my favourite songs from this movie, and the key reason why Virgil would work better as Amethyst. Thomas takes Virgil back through his memories, showing him the music he used to like, how to sew, and they retake the sorting quiz together and talk about it.

Thomas puts on a few Halloween movies and Virgil starts to come back. He goes to stand in his corner by the stairs, and Thomas runs up to his room and gives him the ‘famILY’ card. With that, Virgil comes back.

Disobedient:

I don’t have as much to say here, but for funny purposes Logan “belongs” to Jamahl.

Independent Together:

A Thomas/Jamahl duet, they don’t “literally” fuse, but they’re still singing together. Logan remembers who he is and duets with Virgil. It’s a sweet moment.

Drift Away:

Ohhhh boy (part 2). Deceit and Patton are singing over each other here. The “Garden” is Thomas’ mind, and Logan/a younger, immature Thomas are Pink Diamond. Inadvertently, as Thomas was maturing, he wanted to put silly, childish things behind him. Logan, acting as his Logic, realized that meant Ethos, and went to “put them away”.

He told them Thomas was growing up, and that he would come back to them soon. But Thomas was young when this happened, and he soon forgot about them. Deceit is the one to pose the question: “Is this how it works, am I doing this right?” Patton is unwilling to ask such things, not wanting to doubt Thomas.

They stay there, mostly silent together. They see Thomas grow up, but never the other sides after Logan, because they don’t know the two are stuck back there. Patton keeps making excuses for Thomas, that he’s not ready yet, that he’ll be back soon.

The tipping point is when Deceit’s “character” is introduced. Patton was more than happy to excuse his own “character” into the Sanders Sides Series, but Deceit wasn’t. Upon seeing himself, and hearing Thomas and Joan talk as if Patton and Deceit weren’t really there, broke him.

Deceit called Patton out for excusing Thomas’ behavior, and grief breaks over him. With Deceit’s anger and Patton’s sadness, the two fuse into Ethos. Deceit wants revenge, Patton wants answers. While Deceit is the stronger of the two in the fusion, Patton does have his moments of fronting.

Found:

Thomas talks to Ethos, offering him a place in the Mindpalace again, and apologizing. Ethos takes him up on the offer, Patton clearly fronting. He turns off the bug in the sides and in Thomas.

True Kinda Love:

Remus and Roman finally come to themselves, play-fighting again before working together to protect Thomas + co. from Ethos. Ethos reactivates the bugs to work faster, and runs away from Thomas’s office to his home. Joan and Tayln offer to look after the sides while Thomas goes to find Ethos, who’s perched on top of his house, curled up. 

(work with me here,) Thomas goes up the fire escape to the roof, (pretend his roof is flat would y’all?) to face off. 

Change:

Ethos is ready to fight. Thomas is not. He actively avoids hitting/getting hit by Ethos, moving the fight back to the ground and darting between the park near his house, letting Ethos punch the trees instead. He talks to Ethos, who’s starting to come undone. After getting punched into a tree, Patton pulls himself out of the fusion and goes to help him.

Deceit sees him do this, and after a moment of self-frustration, refuses with Patton to turn off the bug before unfusing again. Thomas takes them back to the office to check up on the other sides, who are now doing just fine.

Let Us Adore You (Reprise):

Finally, this song comes in handy! Instead of the Diamonds singing to Spinel, the sides offer Patton and Deceit a place back in the Mindscape with them, while Thomas says that if they need some time alone, he understands.

The sides all apologize, especially Logan for leaving them alone for so long.

Patton all but jumps at the idea of having a real home, and is thrilled to have a place. Patton sings first, “Today, right here, right now, I'll love again. I've already found someone.”

He starts walking toward them, but stops. Deceit has his arms crossed, and is standing farther back. Patton offers him a hand, and Deceit finally takes a step forward. He’s more hesitant, mostly because like ten minutes ago he was trying to kill all of them. But he misses playing with Thomas, even if as a side his purpose has corrupted with time.

“Yes, I know that you're not her and I was her's. You know what it meant to love her, and you remind me so much of her.” A group hug ensues, and Deceit and Patton are both holding on tight to Thomas. A few tears are shed, and the healing has started.

Finale:

Thomas is continuing to work with all of his sides to make sure Patton and Deceit are adjusting well. The office is eventually finished, Patton and Deceit even get to play themselves in the series. All is well, and Thomas is looking forward to the future and what it brings.

And yeah, that’s all folks! Feel free to do whatever for this, I might write some things for it too. But if y’all do stuff with this, please tag me, I’d love to see whatever y’all make! :-)

[sideblrlife]

Deviated Paths: Jericho part 3

I apologize for this chapter taking so long, it was a surprisingly difficult one for me to write and I had some irl stuff going on this week. I also have the outlines for the rest of the story and unless anything changes it should be 5 chapters. Anyway, here's the chapter, hope you guys like it!

Also, Hank gets his one alotted fuck.

previous: 1 2

The past two weeks had been hard for Connor. He spent most days inside trying to process what happened to him while Hank went to work. Things seemed to be moving on in the world, and going back to an uneasy ‘normal.’ News had slowly stopped covering the Jericho raid when they learned that there wasn’t much to report on. Not much happened, and what information that could be learned was wrapped up in so much red tape that it made their heads spin.

It seemed like Connor’s warning had been helpful. Most of the androids had escaped, Hank told him a few days after the incident. Connor was conflicted about this. He was glad that he could help those who were just trying to survive, but it made him uneasy that Markus was still out there. He knew logically that Markus needed to survive through this, but his emotions dealing with the deviant leader were muddy at best.

Connor didn’t lie to Hank when he said that he understood the basic motives behind Markus’s actions, but it was different looking at it from an outsider’s perspective and living through it.

Connor was watching the news when Hank came in the house. There were heavy footsteps shuffling through the front entry to the living room where Connor was sitting on the couch. Hank looked at the android, noticing that he was still wearing his beanie. Connor had worn it since the first time he woke up on Hank’s couch as a comfort item of sorts. It made it easier to process everything if he wasn’t constantly reminded of his LED. Connor was sure it would be cycling red these days if it was still there.

Hank seemed distressed. Connor wanted to scan him to check, but he picked up that it made Hank uncomfortable when he was scanned randomly. Instead, Connor took the more ‘human’ approach. “How was your day?” Connor asked Hank, as the man sat down on the couch next to Connor. Connor pulled his knees up to his chest and sat his head on top of them.

“Same shit, different day,” Hank sighed. He flipped the tv from the news to a rerun of the previous night’s basketball game. He then turned down the volume and turned to Connor. “The FBI’s on our asses right now about the deviant ‘problem.’ They know just as much as we know right now, and it makes them frustrated.” Connor thought for a moment.

“Hank, why are you still working on the deviant case? You have me here, and I’m deviant, so isn’t it against your best interest to be on the case? You could get in a lot of trouble for housing me from the police.” Hank frowned. “Oh Con, I don’t really want to work the case. It’s just the best way to stay in the loop on developing information though, and I can keep you safer this way,” Hank put his warm hand on Connor’s shoulder, “yeah, I’m a bit worried about them finding out about you being here, but so far nobody’s spotted you and Cyberlife hasn’t contacted the police about your disappearance either. Speaking of Cyberlife, have they tried to contact you at all?”

Connor shook his head no. It confused him that Cyberlife hadn’t tried to get in touch with him for two weeks. Granted, he didn’t want them to but it was weird that they wouldn’t at least try to. Also, nobody had tried to contact him for two weeks. Nobody from Jericho came by, nor did anybody from the police station. It was radio silence. The android was concerned by this, as Cyberlife used to require him to report in every 3 hours and upload the important memories from that time period. The last time he forgot to check in, Amanda had personally visited him in his internal zen garden. That seemed like so long ago, even though it had only been about a month ago. Connor hadn’t been activated that long ago, so he supposed it was a long time ago to him.

“Well, that’s probably better that they don’t try to. I wouldn’t imagine how they would react if they found out that you were a deviant.” It wouldn’t be pretty, that’s for sure. Hank knew that they would want to ‘deactivate’ Connor and probably replace him like they had done previously. Though, this time, they wouldn’t upload his memories most likely. The Connor that he knew, the Connor that he considered a son, would cease to exist. That thought frightened Hank more than he’d like to admit.

Hank seemed to become less stressed with knowing that nobody had tried to contact Connor. Since Connor had come to live with him, Hank had found himself drinking a lot less than he used to. In the past two weeks, he had only drunk a little bit each night to try to stave off withdrawal that he knew would hit if he stopped cold turkey. Connor monitored his drinking though and made sure that he didn’t drink more than one drink a night. It was still rough, but he wanted to be there for Connor in ways that he couldn’t if he was drunk. After grabbing dinner that Connor had made for Hank (the lieutenant wasn’t sure where Connor had learned to cook, as he was pretty sure that Cyberlife hadn’t programmed him to be able to) and his one drink, he settled down on the couch again with Connor. The two men sat in comfortable silence, watching some movie from the early 2000s for the rest of the night.

---

“There is no way in hell that I’m doing that!” Hank yells at Fowler, the man sitting behind his desk with an irritated look on his face.

“You will do this Hank. The FBI is pushing this as a quick solution to the deviancy problem seeing as no other leads have been found, and they have no clue where Markus and the rest of the deviants are.” Fowler glared at the man in front of him. Hank had once been the best detective on the force, but in recent years he was but little of a shell of his previous self. He had tried to understand when Hank’s son had been taken from him, but it had gone on long enough.

“You’re talking about rounding up and killing all of the androids, regardless if they’re deviant or not.” Hank’s hands were balled into fists. He knew the FBI would do anything to track down the deviants and smooth over the public’s fears, but this was talking about the extermination of an entire group of people. It was heinous and inexcusable. They would round them all up, even his own son, and kill them. Government sanctioned murder with the help of the one and only Cyberlife.

“They aren’t people Hank, you can’t kill them. They’re just machines, and this is essentially a recall by Cyberlife. They’ll dismantle the models, figure out what the bug was, and then start production again. The FBI will leave us alone again, and then things will go back to normal once the panic calms down. Cyberlife has issued their recall, and the police will be going house to house to collect any androids that are present. Those are our orders, and you are going to follow them.”

Hank’s heart almost stopped. They’re going door-to-door? He knew that people would just hand over their androids, the panic of deviancy and threat of legal action too great to try to hide them. This also meant that he would be visited as well. Connor wasn’t safe at his house anymore, and like hell, he was going to send him into the hornet's nest of Jericho or let Cyberlife get their hands on him again. Hank had to leave with Connor, and quickly before they blocked off areas to search.

“Fuck your orders,” Hank slammed his badge down on the desk, “and tell Perkins to go shove this up his ass while you’re at it. I’m not helping you hunt them down like feral dogs. I quit.” He promptly turns and walks briskly out of the office and out of the police station. He didn’t have time to deal with their shit, he had to protect his son.

---

Hank had messaged Connor as soon as he got in his car. He didn’t explain much but told the android to start packing essentials only. When Hank pulled into the driveway and went inside, Connor was almost done. He had a go bag packed for Hank that had about a week's worth of clothes, his medication, toiletries, and wallet. He also had a bag packed with some food for Hank, a lighter, and blankets. Connor had also put the bag of dog food near the door and Sumo’s water and food dishes next to it.

“Wow, that’s amazing Connor. That was quick,” Hank marveled. It was only a ten-minute drive from the precinct to his house, but Connor had managed to pack all of this that quickly?

Connor’s cheeks turned a light blue from the praise. “I had predicted that we would need to leave eventually, so I had some of the stuff packed already,” Connor admitted to Hank. It was smart thinking, but Hank felt a bit guilty that Connor had to deal with this on his own. He should have tried to prepare more beforehand, but that was in the past now. What mattered was getting Connor somewhere safe.

“C’ mon, load Sumo’s stuff in the car and get in. I’ll explain what’s going on then.” With that, Connor grabbed Sumo’s stuff and the bag of food. Hank leashed Sumo up, pausing in the kitchen to grab Cole’s picture before heading out. He turned back to look at his house, bidding it and the memories in it a temporary goodbye. He promised that when this was all sorted out, they’d be back.

---

Hank picked an abandoned house on the edge of town. It would be better to leave Detroit altogether, but they weren’t prepared to do that at the moment. So, they would stay there for a few days while Hank and Connor planned what to do next. When Hank had told Connor what was happening with the police, he was distraught. They were planning on killing all of them. Connor moved the stuff inside of the house while Hank hid the car inside of the abandoned garage. It wasn’t the best place to stay, but it was relatively well maintained and Connor only predicted a 3% chance of the house giving out while they were there as long as they stuck to the first floor.

It was nightfall by the time the pair was settled in. Connor had set up a makeshift cot for Hank. He wished that he could make a better bed for him, but it was the best that he could do with what was given to him. They were both sitting on the pallet, Hank eating a can of chicken soup that Connor had warmed up for him. Sumo laid across their feet. It was quiet, the slight draft from the window coming into the living room where they were.

That was until there was a long creak as the front door was opened. “What the hell?” Hank turned to Connor. Connor had made sure to lock the front door. The question of what happened was quickly answered as none other than Markus walked into the living room. Hank jumped to his feet. “What the hell do you think you’re doing here?”

[frankensteindotpdf]

TGWDLM and Love

Okayyyy so I was supposed to write an assignment on how a romantic movie expresses love and I asked my prof if I could write about tgwdlm instead and he said yes?? Bless him so anyway I made wayyyy too many notes for a 500-600 word assignment lmao so I felt like i might as well post em here… this is a compilation of every time Paul and Emma interact pretty much lol its hella long (im not kidding it’s like 7 pages rip) so under the cut :) 

finally done, @isaidsinggoddammit!!

Sidenote: There’s very mixed capitalization as my brain flipped between tumblr mode and assignment mode so excuse that lmao)

Coffee Shop Part 1

Tips well to impress her

Listens to her vent-she already feels comfy enough to rant to him or, alternatively, she’s just a really open person (but shhh she has to trust him to some extent)

Insults others he doesnt know too well but he knows she doesnt like, again to impress

Tries to act indifferent towards everyone else (and tough)

Almost says smth romantic (“Some things are worth it”) but backtracks when she looks confused

In this scene, he tries to act cool but is clearly super nervous. One thing I really like is how he never acts too cool for her, like a lotta people do. He’s genuinely interested in what she has to say and never pretends otherwise, and also never pretends to be interested to get her to like him. I just really love how good he is at listening

Cup of Roasted Coffee/ Cup of Poisoned Coffee

When he panics he goes to Beanies to get a coffee and relax (wake up)

He turns to Emma (subconsciously?) for comfort

Freaks out when she sings (for good reason)

Emma remembers him (“Paul, right?... You’re the guy who doesn’t like musicals”)

Doesnt seem to notice how weird he’s acting

Continues to vent

He pulls her away from the counter to explain what’s going on

Paul finds it important to tell her-she’s the first person he admits it to

Him venting to her like she does to him? Trying to connect in a similar way? Im reading too much into that

He holds her there while explaining, she has to find an excuse to pull away

She thinks he’s crazy-keeps glancing at him during the song (he looks terrified)

Seems concerned for him

He switches between nervously staring at her and anxiously staring into the void (mood)

She turns to him at the “end” of the song and comes near him in the middle

She runs to paul when they start singing

They grab each other

He tells her to run, pushes her forward and shifts so he’s between her and the aliens

This scene is reeeally creepy from Emma’s perspective like oh my gosh can you imagine a man yelling at you (not at you but at your singing but still) and pulling you away from your work and then holding you still when you try to leave??? Anxiety to the max poor babe but also i get paul’s side can you imagine seeing the whole apocalypse beginning and it’s so weird no one would believe you if you tried to tell them? Poor bb. There’s also a lot of things that come up later: the ways he holds emma in this scene is the same way he holds her later one, later it’s to comfort her but  this time it’s more to calm himself… he also pulls her to a better spot like he does later on

Trash Bin Scene

He leads her away-he knows the neighbourhood better

Tries learning about her (you like film?) (cmon paul bad timing)

(at trash) hold hands, she grabs his shirt while panicking

He holds her firmly by the shoulders to calm & comfort (parallels Cuppa)

Emma instinctively grabs Paul’s arm when Bill pops out

“Emma stays with us”-stands up to ted even though he looks pretty scared of him

(sidenote-what did ted do to Paul? The poor boy looks straight up terrified the first time he shows up)

Emma looks real confused about “latte hottay” but she never brings it up

“Paul!” when he runs to Charlotte-gestures at Paul near end of song

Paul tends to comfort people by grabbing their shoulders/putting a hand on their back (Emma of course but also Charlotte and Bill- has a looser hold on them than Emma)

Here they’re already starting to react to danger by reaching for each other and it’s v cute also bless paul i just really like how he calms people down he’s so good and pure

Hidgens’ Fortress Part 1

They trust Emma enough to go to Hidgens’ place (not like they had many other options)

Men™ typically trusted for “strong” stuff-Ted and Bill cuff Sam

Paul stands up for Bill-such a protective boy (could also be doing it to look cool for Emma but tbh it doesnt seem like it ill bring this up again later)

Paul listens intently to Emma’s venting

He smiles, nods, asks qs and repeats phrases she says

Its obvious he genuinely cares

Emma’s v comfy with him-they have an easy chem when Paul relaxes

Emma progressively shares deeper shit as she becomes more comfortable around paul

Paul makes jokes to lighten the mood, but not in a disrespectful way

Seems more nervous when bringing topics to himself

She listens just as politely as he does

“Whoa thats like your origin story...so I guess I’m the supervillain” “I dont think of you like that at all, Emma.” Cutest, Softest smiles on both of them my heART “Listen, Paul”-she was about to confess her love dammit charlotte

I’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: Paul is such a good listener. I dont know why i find this so cute but their convos are so perfect like he asks qs so he knows exactly what she’s talking about (“what’s a coatimundi?” “Oh, did she smoke a lot of pot?”) and he repeats back phrases she says which shows that he’s genuinely listening like...so many characters (and people irl, lets be real)  just pretend to listen to get what they want but he cares so much about what she has to say i just cant stop talking about it it’s so cute also how he seems so comfortable when she’s talking and then starts showing sign of nervousness again when the convo turns to him? Pure mood

Join Us And Die

Both jump behind chair when Charlotte and Sam show up

Emma clings to Paul’s arm + hides behind him

She steps out “charlotte?”

Paul pulls her back when sam approaches

Paul puts himself between Emma and Sam

Emma puts her back to Paul and grabs his arm

Paul pulls Emma away by her arm (“What’s wrong with her shirt?”)

Emma’s caught up in the gore, Paul is relatively level-headed

He keeps an arm around her

Emma steps away from paul to yell at Sam +Char (“He has a daughter!!”)

Instinctively reaches for Paul  when Char gets shot (and later looks back at paul a couple of times when shook at prof hidgens)

Alright they do this whenever aliens show up so imma just talk about it here: this part was in my assignment so 1 lets hope it doesnt get flagged as plagiarism and 2 i could rant about this all day.

Basically Paul fulfills the traditional masculine role as protector and leader. Whenever smth dangerous shows up, he has one hand on her (on her shoulder, arm or the small of her back)-both reassuring them that someone else is there and making it easier for him to move her-which he does lots. He pulls her behind him or pushes her forward (away from the infected), leading her to where he thinks is safest. He always puts himself between her and the aliens, leading her to a safer spot. Emma tends to get distracted (emotional female stereotype) and paul is the one to move them both to safety (strong stoic man stereotype). To be fair, he is a lot bigger than emma and would probs have an easier time in a fight (tho i dont doubt that emma would be v i c i o u s) Emma tend to cling to Paul’s arm when she gets scared (which is really cute)

Hidgens’ Fortress Part 2

Emma adds to Paul’s plan- taps on his arm to move him

Paul steps back in front of her- i always found this weird, he totally blocks her from the conversation like why

She steps back out to roast ted

Paul looks at Emma when Ted @s him-now here’s where I could see him standing up for Bill to impress emma again. It’s not the only reason, but i do think it’s a contributing factor (and probably was before too cuz lets be real, when your crush is around you gotta act tough) of course he wants to protect his bff but he’s super anxious around ted so wanting to look brave for emma gives him that extra push he needs. Alternatively, he looks at Emma as a way to calm himself down before saying smth scary (which is adorable)

Emma wants to help but is called back to help with the lab

This is another thing i find super interesting-wouldnt more people around make it more likely he gets stopped? Did he want an audience (more than just ted) cuz i guess that’s understandable but in that case why didnt he wait a little longer to see if they came back? Idk it just seemed weird to me (also the whole “nooo female cant go out where it’s dangerous” even though it’s more like “oh emma’s the only one i know here can she not leave” wait actually that’s probably it lmao he just didnt wanna be alone with ted ok relatable nvm )

“Hey, Paul?” grabs arms (paul reciprocates) she’s real nervous for him leaving-relates to how much he hates musicals

I find that really cute cuz it’s showing once again how much they listen to each other and idk i just really like that about them

Grabs his face and pulls him close-he pulls her hands down to look her in the eyes to tell her he’ll stay safe

He doesn’t kiss her-super interesting! She pulled him close like that (which coulda been a sign to kiss her) and this was a pretty emotionally charged moment which a kiss would have fit - Paul hates kisses hc?

Not Your Seed + General (technically, just a little note)

Paul holds Emma tight with 2 hands, but keeps 1 hand free when holding others (ie bill and charlotte)

Only tells General about Emma, not Ted or the Prof (tho to be fair, he hates ted and barely knows the prof but it’s interesting how he doesnt even say he has “friends”, just Emma)

America Is Great Again

Paul saves emma and Ted

“Should I take this chair?” asks paul to lead

Emma holds Paul’s arm when they run

She tries to pry “Greg”’s arm off Paul + tries to get Ted to help-not strong enough

“Thank you Emma”-she freed him/killed Greg? I wanna know what happened (i tweeted @ jon, lauren and nick asking, so far jon just liked it we’ll see if anyone answers)

Runs behind Emma + pushes her forward “run, emma, run!”-Emma grabs for Paul, he steps in front

He pulls her through Robert+Corey and turns her around

She pulls him away from the General-paul usually does the pulling to safety

Paul doesnt notice when Emma is grabbed by Ted (lmao i get that he’s a little busy but it still seems odd)

She struggles with 1, 3 are on Paul (not a sexist thing, she’s tiny and also Paul is the main character and the aliens know it plus they gotta do that cool lift thing)

Emma grabs gun + shoots the General, grabbing Paul-”Paul! The helicopter! Cmon!”

Usually Paul does that stuff, but emma takes the protective role more in the 2nd half of this song

Basically we have the classic paul protecting emma stuff but now also the emma protecting paul which is good and fresh and i love...the way she tries to protect paul is different than how he protects her. She yells more frantically, and also is more of trying to lead him whereas paul yells to get her attention and physically moves her himself

Helicopter Scene

He helps her onto the heli, back to his usual protective self

Keeps one hand on the back of her seat the whole time (aww he’s stabilizing himself physically cuz the copter’s shaky and emotionally cuz he’s closer to Emma)

“Emma, seatbelts” he reaches up to help her into her seat-he kicks the gun to save them

“Emma? Emma?” immediate response is to call out to her-that boy was literally awake less than a second before worrying about her i love him

Runs to her when he sees her

“”This is what seatbelts are for” in this scene he seems really like...over it? Idk if anyone else got that he just seemed really intent on destroying the meteor instead of anything to do with Emma… before saving their lives was priority but also spending time with her, here he nods like he’s trying to rush her and does not seem excited to kiss her (again, Paul hates kisses? ok that was a rant that got ahead of my notes but just-) this scene is weird to me like maybe he’s trying to rush to stop the meteor so they can be together after and like not die idk anymore

He reaches out for her, jumping away when she cries out in pain

The rest of the scene he has his hands hovering a few inches away from her, very protective but also very scared of hurting her

Emma comes up with the solution, Paul has to do it cuz she’s hurt (weak gal, strong man, injured person knows secret to survival and tells strong boi how to do it tropes)

“Hey, Paul?” slides over to him-he gingerly supports her back (scared to hurt her)

He shushes her to calm her while talking cuz she’s in pain- ok, maybe its less about “gotta get out of here” and more about “she’s hurt really badly and needs help asap, i gotta destroy that meteor so i can get help” ok that makes sense im dumb lmao

Emma is first to ask out + kiss me? + pulling him in by his tie- breakin stereotype of man making first move

Then the little “..okay..” after she asks him to kiss her...maybe he wanted it to be romantic aww he wanted them to have a real cute first kiss and this wasnt what he had planned (or he just doesn’t like kisses cuz like he looks so uncomfortable there’s gotta be a reason”

He doesnt wanna kiss her cuz of the blood (weak) and is happy to leave-this part is what throws me off most he just like runs on outta there with no hesitation but he loves her?? I dont get it

Dont really need a rant here cuz i did a lotta ranting in the points… excuse my little journey of discovery there lmao I was just confused at first cuz at face value he seems really different, super hell bent on getting out of there whereas in every other scene he pays way more attention to Emma. I suppose it’s because he knows he has to destroy the meteor asap so he can get her help, i just didnt catch that. His motivations seemed very different in this scene to me and i couldnt figure out why

Theory time

Now here’s the fun part-i saw a theory somewhere that Paul can only get infected because he has a true goal now, he really wants to end up with Emma. In What Do You Want, Paul? Mr. Davidson is trying to find out what he wants to use it as motivation to make him more susceptible to the virus/make him sing a song, but since Paul doesn’t want anything clearcut he cant be infected. Now, since Paul wants Emma, he has a goal and smth to fight for but also smth to sing about. The very reason he’ trying to save the world becomes the reason he fails.

HOWEVER. His goal could just as easily be saving the world cuz he literally doesnt bring emma up once? Like i get he’s preoccupied but idk if he’s about to die i feel like he’d at least mention her (unless he’s hoping they think she died and wont go looking for her if he fails) idk their romance is adorable until the scene before this and then these 2 scenes make it feel really off for me

Okay now onto the most fun scene >:) -since there’s so many details i separated them into actions and lyrics

Inevitable (Actions)

“Are you sure there weren’t any other survivors?” :(

“PEIP would like to see it become smth more” because she’s the love interest and they’re supposed to end up together ahhh it’s the alien talking

She grabs his arms to look him in the eyes then pulls him in for a hug (the cutest)

She’s v reluctant to believe it at first “Paul?” She’s still smiling for the first line

Slowly she starts to let herself see what’s happening “Paul, you’re scaring me”

She knows he’s infected but she’s trying her hardest to believe he could be playing a cruel joke

He has power over her physically- holds her where he wants her while they’re dancing

He dances with her at first, gestures to her to move closer, talks to her, moves towards dancing at her instead of with

He blocks her exit, pulls her to where he wants her and ignores her for part

This is where you can really tell he’s different. Paul would never ignore Emma, and he straight up ignores her to sing and dance

He points at her and then goes back to ignoring her

Emma starts sobbing and really trying to run

Emma is dragged to the center of the stage sobbing because she cant do anything

He drops character in credits, waving and smiling to the audience; she doesnt

He’s got physical power over her (strength) but also cuz he’s backed by all the aliens who can move her where she’s supposed to go

Inevitable (lyrics)

“Emma, I’m sorry, you lost.” couldnt kill aliens

“Lost your way” didnt want to join them

“I made it” ‘This is the life that I chose” “I’m still the man you trust” “what if the only choice is you had to sing to survive” “Put words to the lyrics and you’re playing the game now” -maybe he’s faking it (i also heard someone mention the fact that he sings in his natural voice and not the higher one he used for the Alien Brain in Let It Out which is a good catch) (also someone else brought up the fact that he was mostly singing reprises, maybe because he couldnt think up his own tune/entirely original lyrics?)

“It’s inevitable for us”-because she’s the love interest, it’s was inevitable that they’d wind up together

“Show me those jazz hands” He’s trying to convince her to join of her own free will

“or i might be inclined to plant my seed” but is willing to do it by force if she wont

This song is super interesting because of the parallels-he holds her the same way he did in previous songs, pulls and pushes her across the stage like before, but this time it’s turned against her. What was once meant as protection is now being used to force her to join the dance I talked more about this in my assignment but i dont wanna get too close to what i wrote before because it could get flagged for plagiarism and i do not want that so imma reblog this post alter and add my assignment for more info (if yall want anyway)

The lyrics could hint at Paul faking it, and it definitely appears that way (especially with the face he makes at “Im still the man you trust) but i think the part in the middle where he just kind of breaks off to dance really kills that idea for me. Even if he was trying to trick the aliens, he could have kept closer to Emma like he does every other time they’re in danger, and the fact that he straight up ignores her and lets the aliens move her around like that is just not in his character so apologies but i believe our man is gone

Also, regarding the theories that Emma is infected because of the beginning; I could see that happening, but in that case, why didnt she break character at the end? I have absolutely zero idea how/if the intro song fits into the story but idk i feel like she should’ve acted like the rest of them if she really was infected but on the other hand i really like the heartbreaking theory that they’re all infected and Paul just has to keep reliving the story of how he failed again and again for all eternity like ouch? But also? Its great in a painful way??

Um yeah so that’s that for my ranting (my 3 pages of notes became 7 pages with the rants included so sorry about that i just had so much to sayyyy

TLDR: paul and emma are cute thanks for coming to my ted talk

[luxury-loki]

Infinity War chat: Part 1

The time has come.

I’m sorry this is so long, please don’t unfollow, just scroll past and pretend it doesn't exist if you don't wanna read it lol.

Let’s talk about it. 

I thought it was truly incredible. Never left a cinema feeling the way I did after that film. So many emotions all in one go and I can't even begin to explain it properly but I'll try anyway.

PLEASE READ:

I reckon I'll sort each part by theme, one part going up each day. I think there will be 2 parts:

character developments

Storylines/plot events

Part one: Characters

I won't be going over all of them, just the few who really touched me. I may cover some important character development in part 2 tomorrow when I discuss story lines.

Loki

“You will never be a god.”

I know this is the one you're probably most interested in as he is the main focus of my blog so I'll start here.

I expected it. I had time to prepare myself and so although it was extremely sad, and obviously I am heartbroken at the loss of my favourite character, I did see his death coming, which I am extremely glad about. When writing this post I have seen the film twice, and I cried more at his death the second time because I think the first time I had less of a chance to fully process it for how mental the rest of the film was. 

I am so unbelievably pleased and relieved that he had a hero's death. He died trying to kill Thanos in order to protect his brother which is so incredible, and I loved the call back to the line “we have a hulk” which Stark uses on him in the first Avengers film. The fact he refers to himself as son of odin, and looks at Thor as he says it was truly incredible, it was showing his character has completed his character arc, accepting that he is both the rightful heir of Jotunheim and the prince of Asgard, he doesn't need to belong to just one place. His last line “you’ll never be a god” was also extremely touching, showing he always felt immense pride in being raised as a prince on Asgard, and being raised to be a ‘god’. 

Thor’s last moment with him, when he hugs his body and just cries out Loki’s name BROKE me. Such an incredibly touching moment.

I do truly believe he is dead, and I am inclined to agree with Thanos, “no resurrections this time”. He was an incredible character, and I do look forward to seeing him in the time jumps/flashbacks in avengers 4.

RIP Loki, you will be missed.

Thor

“What more could I lose?” 

I can't not talk about Thor. He stole the show. Both the character and Hemsworth.

Chris did and INCREDIBLE job at portraying this broken Thor that we have never seen before. The God of Thunder was completely stripped of everything he loved from the very beginning. Having just lost his father, and before that his mother, he had lost the life of half the Asgardians who he now ruled, and worst of all, had lost his brother. His brother who died infront of him, attempting to save his life, whilst he was completely helpless. His brother whom he’d grown up with, fought against, fought with, lost before, and now lost again.

It is very clear that vengeance, and pure hatred over Thanos has overtaken Thor. He no longer cares what happens, as long as he can defeat Thanos. He has completely given up, most likely believing that everything he’ll ever love will be brutally taken away from him as all else in his life has, meaning he no longer has anything stopping him from doing whatever he can to end Thanos’ his life. He takes this adventure to craft his new weapon, and then makes the most incredible entrance to a scene you’ll ever see. 

Even amongst all the hurt and pain he is drowning in, he still makes room for some light hearted, if slightly sad, humour. Commenting on family difficulties and the incredible line to Cap: “I see you’re copying me with the beard!” as just a few examples.

Thor is very much, for now, a Lone Ranger. although he has The Avengers, it’s very clear that at the moment he is feeling like the weight of he world rests on his shoulders alone, and I think it is a lot for him to handle. I hope he uses his anger and grief positively in the next film too, and I can’t wait to find out what he will do next. Thor’s entire character arc across all the films is so unbelievably impressive, and if we have to see him die, I will definitely be extremely upset. 

I reckon lots of people will leave Infinity war with a huge increase of love for this character, he has really proven himself as one of the strongest, most caring, and bravest Avengers yet. We started with Thor as this egotistical, over-emotional warrior, who was too childish to truly understand the effects of his actions, but we stand here now with a character who was able to look Gamora in the eye, the daughter of a guy who had murdered his brother, and forgive her. Now that is character development.

Banner

“Oh screw you, you big green asshole! I’ll have to do It myself.”

Anyone who knows me IRL will know I am a huge Mark Ruffalo stan. He is both an amazing person and a talented actor, and I was SO HAPPY to see Banner shine through in this film. Not Hulk, Banner.

This whole concept of Hulk being around for two years meant he’s learnt a few tricks, and when he doesn't want to come out, he won't. This gave Banner the perfect platform to prove himself. He showed he was strong, and brave without the hulk. He stepped forward to try and help even if it was scaring, going into battle as himself for the first time must have taken a lot of guts and I am SO proud of him. I am so glad after all these years Ruffalo has finally been able to show what this shy, adorable, strong, and intelligent scientist is really made of.

I really hope his character in Infinity War will make more people appreciate Bruce Banner in his own right, not just as Hulk. He is often overlooked I feel, but personally is one of my favourite MCU characters, and has given us some of the most touching moments across the MCU such as: his relationship with Natasha, his new friendship with Thor, and the sad secret he keeps about once trying to kill himself.

GO BANNER! You are truly an adorable gem, and I want to see more of him over coming his anxieties in the next film, and definitely more of his relationship with Nat.

I think over all the impressive thing is that Hulk wouldn’t come out because he was scared. He had been beaten up by Thanos once and no longer wanted to face him. This is completely different in Banner. Banner saw his friends being beaten and saw the danger that was coming, and instead of shying away, he stood up to it and fought with all he could give. He isn’t necessarily physically strong, but I’ll be damned if he isn’t one of the toughest emotionally.

Star Lord and Gamora

“I love you more than anything.”

These two come as a pair, and what we learnt about their relationship, and how it came to an end, was so unbelievably touching and incredibly heart breaking.

The moment they share when Gamora persuades Quill to promise to kill her was so sad. You would only ever ask that of someone you truly love, someone you know who will always do whatever they can to support you, someone who truly loves you. Their relationship has been well built, and constructed, and I felt was one I truly had gone the journey with, from start to end. When the two say they love each other I shed a tear, I had no clue that it would be the last time they spoke, and it still made me cry.

Thanos pushed Quill. He pushed him and pushed him until he broke and pulled the trigger on Gamora. Although it did not kill her due to reality tricks, the mental effect that would have on a person is astonishing, and Quill has already gone through so much. The anger he oozes when he discovers her death too is so raw and emotional, ruining the plan he had so carefully constructed from pure rage over the loss of his soul mate was torturing to watch. 

Gamora’s backstory was very sad too, discovering how she was manipulated as a child was disgusting, and to have her life ended by the one who had ruined her childhood filled me with such rage. I never thought marvel would kill her off as she was so strong and brave in the other films, but we saw a far more emotional version of her here, especially when she cried over Thanos when she first thought she’d murdered him. Showing she still felt compassion for this being who had utterly destroyed her life, made me feel so much sympathy for Gamora, and I will miss her strong female presence immensely. RIP G x

Vision and Wanda 

“I just feel you.”

I can't even think about these two without wanting to cry. Their whole relationship was squeezed into this film, yet felt like one I had been following for years. The love they feel for one another is immensely clear, and the connection they both have over the mind stone makes their bond even stronger. 

The fact Wanda had to murder Vision in the desperate hope of stopping Thanos, only to have time reversed to witness him die again but with no positives was agonising. Both Bettany and Olsen acted beautifully, conveying the pain each was feeling so well that it practically oozed out of the screen. That last moment before his death when Visions tells her he loves her had me sobbing, and I think “I just feel you” will go down as one of the most meaningful lines in MCU history.

I have such a new love for these two characters which previously I had not cared for all that much. Their relationship is definitely one of, if not the favourite, of mine in the whole MCU, and if they both don’t return in Avengers 4, catch me throwing myself off a bridge shortly after.

Thanos and The Black Order (last one)

Rest of this has been a bit emotional hasn't it Jesus. I’ll end on a less sad one.

“Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.”

Thanos was an INCREDIBLE villain. This whole concept of him being so horrifically evil, yet also truly believing what he was doing was good, made his character so complex. He believed he was saving half of humanity which was doomed to otherwise fall. We can probably safely assume he is wrong, and that there are other ways to accomplish this, but deciding if his intentions are truly bad or good is difficult. When we see him crying for Gamora it is extremely unsettling. This mad titan, who has done so much to make us hate him and feel no sympathy for, now stands before us, weeping for someone he loves, just like many characters before him have done. He is so tough, yet also clearly so broken and desperate. I do hate hm, I truly do, but I am seriously impressed by the level of complexity his character has developed in just a single film.

“Rejoice, for you are about to die at the hands of the children of Thanos.”

E B O N Y  M A W. Only gonna talk about him from TBO cus this post is proper long and he’s the only one who really jumped out at me.

I won't lie, I am kind of sad he died! He was so chilling, and not to mention extremely powerful. This whole concept of believing it was a blessing to die for Thanos, and his speech in many scenes, including on the New York street, on the Asgardian’s ship, and on Gamora’s planet gave such a dark atmosphere to the scenes, and really emphasised Thanos’ powerful character. The Russo Brothers stated he would be a fan favourite in an interview and I completely agree. A truly chilling character.

Thanks for reading! if you made it to the end come back tomorrow at 5pm for part 2 and make sure to comment and like x

Thanks,

Lara x