#some real bullshit

[endlessnightlock]

So I was in a weird headspace on my morning drive today and started getting ideas for a Peeta/Buttercup bodyswap drabble. This is all I've got, lol, as I think it should be because this is a truly horrifying idea:

Peeta growled in frustration, the orange tail of the body he was somehow inexplicably now inhabiting swishing back and forth, watching Buttercup in his human body, squatting on his haunches (nearly impossible with his prosthetic leg, stupid cat) beneath the tree in their backyard, intently studying the bird's nest high above him. Blue eyes were locked on the Jays, squawking, sweeping back and forth among the green leaves of the oak trees while he crouched as low as he could to the ground. When Buttercup began wiggling Peeta's butt back and forth, he wanted to scream.

That cat will break my neck, Peeta fumed, watching Buttercup use his body to clumsily leap off the ground and try to catch one of the birds by batting his hands in their general direction. I'm so glad Katniss isn't here to see this.

And then the story would transition to this.

No, absolutely not, Peeta thought, watching himself crawl across the lawn to the edge of the garden and begin bobbing his head, sniffing the freshly turned soil with a determined look. When Buttercup moved his body into the garden and began pawing at the soil with his fingers, digging a little hole that could only mean one thing, Peeta took off. He made it just in time to bite Buttercup's ankle, distracting him from dropping Peeta's trousers and taking a shit in the backyard garden.

Thoughts, feelings?

[harasharaved]

The fact that Judaism is trending because of both the wave of bomb threats on synagogues and Bradley Cooper's Antisemitism Adventure (his huge fake prosthetic nose, and him basically stealing the story from a Jewish man) is so infuriating and so exhaustingly typical.

The fact that I see Judaism trending on Tumblr and immediately think "oh no. Something Bad is happening to us." We're never trending cause it's fucking good. I never get to be excited, it's just cold dread.

The fact that Antisemitism is getting worse everyday and the only ones who ever talk about it are other Jews. The fact that no one else fucking cares. The only ones who support us are other Jews. Even when gentiles talk about Nazis or white supremacists they don't want to help us. We're just their prop, the canary in the coal mine and the perfect victim.

The fact that everyone's uncomfortable with Jews still being here. Reminding them of things they'd rather forget.

The fact that it'd be easier for them if we were all dead. Then they could tell stories about our people, dressed in offensive caricatures, without us making a fuss.

[pbnmj]

[kkoct-ik]

i dont think i will ever forgive what the internet did to DID because please explain to me how "your sense of self is so torn apart you think youre multiple people" turned into "youre actually multiple people"

do you understand what i mean? please understand what i mean

[thenonbinarydetective]

Things batfam stans need to leave behind in 2023:

Jason's Lazarus pit rage

Thinking Tim's parents were horribly abusive and hated him

Only caring about Stephanie in terms of her relationship to another person (ex: Tim's bestie/ex/gf or Cass' gf/bestie)

Treating Jason or Stephanie like they're stupid

Feral Demon Child Damian

Permanent sunshine boy Dick Grayson

Any "[blank] was the real violent Robin" discourse

Really just any reducing or sectioning of certain traits to certain batfam members and not allowing other characters to exhibit those same traits (ex: see sunshine Dick Grayson)

But also stealing traits from other characters and projecting them onto someone else (ex: Jason getting Dick's personality in fics. He is not the same type of big brother Dick is canonically)

Purposefully mischaracterizing characters for angst (ex: Dick sent Tim to Arkham, my beloathed. also again see Tim's parents)

Trying really hard to nuclearize the family. They are an unconventional family for many reasons, and that's why they're interesting.

"Alfred solos the batfam"

Making Duke "the normal one" and completely forgetting to give him an actual personality.

Cass using sign language because she can read body language (note: does not apply to YJ Cass who has damaged vocal chords)

Cass being used as a prop for her brothers

Tim being weak, woobified baby

Feel free to add on ~~

Don't send hate over these things because idgaf, they are harmful mischaracterizations, and many are built on total ignorance and often racism, classism, ableism, and sexism.

[dragongirlafro]

are you FUCKING kidding me. this is the wapeach that got instantly shot down by Miyamoto and banished to the Nintendo vault for practically 20 years????? this is literally the most inoffensive take they could have done on an "evil peach twin" and it was still too much for the old man.

i don't even know what to say at this point lmao. this in a nutshell i think perfectly shows why no matter how much cool shit nintendo does they'll always be held back

[restinslices]

If Bi-Han Was A Sub

Let it be known I'm a Virgin. I'm Bisexual and Bi-myself. I get no bitches. Absolutely zero play. So take everything I say with a grain of salt.  No pronouns used. Mentions of sex from behind but that could be a dick or a strap on. Whatever fits your fantasy. And obviously MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. SCHOOL IS IN SESSION. READ A BOOK.

I know the chances of Bi-Han being a sub are pretty low. I get that. I understand why people write him as a Dom… but if he wasn't-

I don't think he would come out and say this is what he wanted. Most likely it just kinda happened? You guys just kept having sex and you noticed he let you take the reins, and you just kept seeing how much you could get away with. 

When you do eventually bring this up he's like "what are you talking about? I'm not a fucking sub". Sir- 

I feel like you'd keep the same position and role, but it wouldn't actually have a label. It'd take awhile for him to actually say he takes the submissive role. 

I also don't think he'd make initiating sex a big deal. Some people try really hard to seduce their partner and I can see him just coming up to you and saying "I want you". 

Having this big man under you and listening to everything you say though? Heavenly. 

That's a fucking lie. Why? He's stubborn and disobedient 

Kuai Liang gives ready to serve, this MF gives off ready to get on your nerves 

What's wild is that he does this shit on purpose. 

This the same guy who keeps reminding Tomas he's an orphan. Trust me, this bitch is petty. Unnecessarily so. 

I feel like he'd do shit to piss you off because A) he's petty. B) he likes seeing you pissed off. And C) he's into punishments. 

We can all tell this man is not fragile. So roughhousing is definitely encouraged and appreciated. Realistically, there's a good chance he's stronger than you and could just flip shit if he wanted, but he doesn't. Honestly though, in my head that would add to the fun for both of you. The fact he could physically stop all this, but chooses not to. 

This concept would especially get milked if he was being punished. 

He would start mouthing off and you'd be like "if you hate this so much, why not stop me? You're strong enough to". He'd have no real response because he had no legitimate reason. 

"You know what I think? I think the Grandmaster is just like every other man; a slut who needs to be put in his place". 

However, if there is something he doesn't like, he has no problem with telling you. You wouldn't have to worry about secretly hurting him or making him feel like shit because he'd let you know immediately if you were taking it too far. Obviously you'd apologize, and he'd just tell you to make sure it didn't happen again. 

Things I'd think he'd be into is impact play, rough sex, dirty talk, restraints, temp play, overstimulation, masochism, and probably some more shit I can't think of. I feel like his kink list is like when someone pulls out a small scroll, then it turns out that bitch is long and hits the floor. I feel like he'd also enjoy humiliation to an extent. He doesn't want to be embarrassed in public, but if you made him beat off in front of a mirror while you watched, he wouldn't be against it. 

Idk why but he really gives me "hit me harder vibes". You'll think you're hitting him hard but then he'd ask you to hit him harder. 

"Harder" probably explains his entire vibe. He pisses you off to make your life harder. He wants you to hit him harder. Be harder on him when he breaks a rule. Fuck him harder. Just be harder. He's not easily breakable. He can handle it. 

I just really feel like he enjoys rough sex from behind. Probably finds that shit relaxing. 

I feel like the punishment he'd absolutely hate would be orgasm denial. One night is already tough but when you won't let him cum for an extended amount of time? Torture. 

He gives off the vibes of someone who wants constant sex, so cutting him off would be hard. I feel like this is the only rule he for sure wouldn't break because he knows you'd just reset the amount of days he can't cum for. 

Aftercare with him would probably be difficult because he wouldn't say what he needed. He's good at telling you when he's uncomfortable with something, but isn't good at saying exactly what he wants when you're done. He's just not used to being pampered and thinks asking you to do things like cuddle with him is embarrassing. 

It's obviously not though, so you make sure to take care of him. 

He appreciates it, even if he won't say he does. 

He makes sure to care for you as well. He's an asshole but he's not that big of an asshole. If you're warm from all the moving, he'd cool you down. He'd probably try to get up to run you a bath and you're like "sit the fuck down". 

Probably enjoys silence afterwards. I don't mean he doesn't wanna hear you or he wants to pretend you don't exist. He just enjoys feeling your presence there and the sound of whatever is outside. 

An afterthought I just had. Bi-Han grunts, Kuai Liang moans loudly, Tomas probably whines. 

I know I should be writing Liar pt 2, and I am. Unfortunately the voices have taken over so this came out first. Might make another part, maybe a short Drabble. Idk. I do know that I will make one of these for Kuai Liang and Tomas.

[alien-bluez]

The twins keeps doing the switcheroo thing 30% because it's funny 70% because their laundry is always mixed together and they can't bother finding their own. They're the same height and build and sometimes Lark likes putting on Sparrow's flowy pants and skirts and crop tops when it's hot. Sparrow uses Lark's joggers and tanks and running shoes when he goes to the gym. At one point the guys enforced a name tag system because the twins kept playing into it.

[almostfoxglove]

pedro pascal cinematic universe aus 22/?

the one where frankie morales delivers messages from the gods. (insp)

[hotmess-exe]

"MY life has gotten marginally better or been unaffected under the current administration, so give the Democrats YOUR vote"

that's what y'all sound like. fuckin entitled. or do none of y'all actually believe in one person, one vote lol

just say that other people's problems, well-being, stability, and dignity is secondary to your fucking comfort under the status quo.

if things are "better under Biden" for you to such an extent that you feel entitled to other people's fucking votes, I got news for ya — you were probably fine under Trump too 🙃

[phykoha]

me when big youtuber says that DID isn't real and something thats for "kids who watch too much tiktok who start to think they're anime characters in real life"

[moongothic]

WAIT WAIT WAIT HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE

So normally we only get fullblown, extended and dedicated flashbacks for heroic characters in One Piece, the characters who we're meant to root for. The literal only TRUE exception we've had to this rule was Big Mom's flashback. Even fucking Doflamingo's flashback was tied to Law and Rosinante's

So the fact that we haven't gotten a single fucking GLIMPSE at Crocodile's backstory is?!?

Like sure, we haven't gotten like a Moria flashback, but you know, he literally told us all we needed to know himself, AND we got to see glimpses of him in the Wano flashbacks. Arlong didn't get a flashback of his own, but he did get to cameo in Fisher Tiger's flashback. And Rob Fucking Lucci got a flashback that was 6 whooping panels long

BUT CROCODILE?? Not only do we know almost Fuck All about his story, but also have never gotten as much as a glimpse at it? But his backstory has been HINTED and TEASED at multiple times??

GUYS. FELLAS

Like. I am SURE the "Full Backstories for Heroes Only" rule is going to get broken again, but with Imu and Blackbeard already there just BEGGING to have their beans spilled, can we even be sure Sir Fucking Crocodile is somehow going to become A Villain So Dangerous To The Narrative that he ALSO should also recieve a Full Fucking Backstory?? For his Nefarious Schemes?? AT THIS POINT??

Y'all

I think it's more likely Oda's been saving up Croc's backstory because it might just completely recontextualize his entire character

[liquidstar]

garfiel age reveal is genuinely one of the funniest moments in rezero. subaru realizes that not only has he been beefing with an 8th grader, but the 8th grader has been kicking his and all his friends asses

[queernarchy]

the irony of nat going out for hours every single day to hunt food for a group of girls who do absolutely nothing but sit around and hallucinate all day only for the same girls who have never hunted a day in their lives to not even hesitate in grabbing spears and weapons to hunt her

[greenerteacups]

oooh please someday tell us what you think of GOT

oh, no, it's my fatal weakness! it's [checks notes] literally just the bare modicum of temptation! okay you got me.

SO. in order to tell what's wrong with game of thrones you kind of have to have read the books, because the books are the reason the show goes off the rails. i actually blame the showrunners relatively little in proportion to GRRM for how bad the show was (which I'm not gonna rehash here because if you're interested in GOT in any capacity you've already seen that horse flogged to death). people debate when GOT "got bad" in terms of writing, but regardless of when you think it dropped off, everyone agrees the quality declined sharply in season 8, and to a certain extent, season 7. these are the seasons that are more or less entirely spun from whole cloth, because season 7 marks the beginning of what will, if we ever see it, be the Winds of Winter storyline. it's the first part that isn't based on a book by George R.R. Martin. it's said that he gave the showrunners plot outlines, but we don't know how detailed they were, or how much the writers diverged from the blueprint — and honestly, considering the cumulative changes made to the story by that point, some stark divergence would have been required. (there's a reason for this. i'll get there in a sec.)

so far, i'm not saying anything all that original. a lot of people recognized how bad the show got as soon as they ran out of Book to adapt. (I think it's kind of weird that they agreed to make a show about an unfinished series in the first place — did GRRM figure that this was his one shot at a really good HBO adaptation, and forego misgivings about his ability to write two full books in however many years it took to adapt? did he think they would wait for him? did he not care that the series would eventually spoil his magnum opus, which he's spent the last three decades of his life writing? perplexing.) but the more interesting question is why the show got bad once it ran out of Book, because in my mind, that's not a given. a lot of great shows depart from the books they were based on. fanfiction does exactly that, all the time! if you have good writers who understand the characters they're working with, departure means a different story, not a worse one. now, the natural reply would be to say that the writers of GOT just aren't good, or at least aren't good at the things that make for great television, and that's why they needed the books as a structure, but I don't think that's true or fair, either. books and television are very different things. the pacing of a book is totally different from the pacing of a television show, and even an episodic book like ASOIAF is going to need a lot of work before it's remotely watchable as a series. bad writers cannot make great series of television, regardless of how good their source material is. sure, they didn't invent the characters of tyrion lannister and daenerys targaryen, but they sure as hell understood story structure well enough to write a damn compelling season of TV about them!

so but then: what gives? i actually do think it's a problem with the books! the show starts out as very faithful to the early books (namely, A Game of Thrones and A Clash of Kings) to the point that most plotlines are copied beat-for-beat. the story is constructed a little differently, and it's definitely condensed, but the meat is still there. and not surprisingly, the early books in ASOIAF are very tightly written. for how long they are, you wouldn't expect it, but on every page of those books, the plot is racing. you can practically watch george trying to beat the fucking clock. and he does! useful context here is that he originally thought GOT was going to be a trilogy, and so the scope of most threads in the first book or two would have been much smaller. it also helps that the first three books are in some respects self-contained stories. the first book is a mystery, the second and third are espionage and war dramas — and they're kept tight in order to serve those respective plots.

the trouble begins with A Feast for Crows, and arguably A Storm of Swords, because GRRM starts multiplying plotlines and treating the series as a story, rather than each individual book. he also massively underestimated the number of pages it would take him to get through certain plot beats — an assumption whose foundation is unclear, because from a reader's standpoint, there is a fucke tonne of shit in Feast and Dance that's spurious. I'm not talking about Brienne's Riverlands storyline (which I adore thematically but speaking honestly should have been its own novella, not a part of Feast proper). I'm talking about whole chapters where Tyrion is sitting on his ass in the river, just talking to people. (will I eat crow about this if these pay off in hugely satisfying ways in Winds or Dream? oh, totally. my brothers, i will gorge myself on sweet sweet corvid. i will wear a dunce cap in the square, and gleefully, if these turn out to not have been wastes of time. the fact that i am writing this means i am willing to stake a non-negligible amount of pride on the prediction that that will not happen). I'm talking about scenes where the characters stare at each other and talk idly about things that have already happened while the author describes things we already have seen in excruciating detail. i'm talking about threads that, while forgivable in a different novel, are unforgivable in this one, because you are neglecting your main characters and their story. and don't tell me you think that a day-by-day account tyrion's river cruise is necessary to telling his story, because in the count of monte cristo, the main guy disappears for nine years and comes hurtling back into the story as a vengeful aristocrat! and while time jumps like that don't work for everything, they certainly do work if what you're talking about isn't a major story thread!

now put aside whether or not all these meandering, unconcluded threads are enjoyable to read (as, in fairness, they often are!). think about them as if you're a tv showrunner. these bad boys are your worst nightmare. because while you know the author put them in for a reason, you haven't read the conclusion to the arc, so you don't know what that reason is. and even if the author tells you in broad strokes how things are going to end for any particular character (and this is a big "if," because GRRM's whole style is that he lets plots "develop as he goes," so I'm not actually convinced that he does have endings written out for most major characters), that still doesn't help you get them from point A (meandering storyline) to point B (actual conclusion). oh, and by the way, you have under a year to write this full season of television, while GRRM has been thinking about how to end the books for at least 10. all of this means you have to basically call an audible on whether or not certain arcs are going to pay off, and, if they are, whether they make for good television, and hence are worth writing. and you have to do that for every. single. unfinished. story. in the books.

here's an example: in the books, Quentin Martell goes on a quest to marry Daenerys and gain a dragon. many chapters are spent detailing this quest. spoiler alert: he fails, and he gets charbroiled by dragons. GRRM includes this plot to set up the actions of House Martell in Winds, but the problem is that we don't know what House Martell does in Winds, because (see above) the book DNE. So, although we can reliably bet that the showrunners understand (1) Daenerys is coming to Westeros with her 3 fantasy nukes, and (2) at some point they're gonna have to deal with the invasion of frozombies from Canada, that DOESN'T mean they necessarily know exactly what's going to happen to Dorne, or House Martell. i mean, fuck! we don't even know if Martin knows what's going to happen to Dorne or House Martell, because he's said he's the kind of writer who doesn't set shit out beforehand! so for every "Cersei defaults on millions of dragons in loans from the notorious Bank of Nobody Fucks With Us, assumes this will have no repercussions for her reign or Westerosi politics in general" plotline — which might as well have a big glaring THIS WILL BE IMPORTANT stamp on top of the chapter heading — you have Arianne Martell trying to do a coup/parent trap switcheroo with Myrcella, or Euron the Goffick Antichrist, or Faegon Targaryen and JonCon preparing a Blackfyre restoration, or anything else that might pan out — but might not! And while that uncertainty about what's important to the "overall story" might be a realistic way of depicting human beings in a world ruled by chance and not Destiny, it makes for much better reading than viewing, because Game of Thrones as a fantasy television series was based on the first three books, which are much more traditional "there is a plot and main characters and you can generally tell who they are" kind of book. I see Feast and Dance as a kind of soft reboot for the series in this respect, because they recenter the story around a much larger cast and cast a much broader net in terms of which characters "deserve" narrative attention.

but if you're making a season of television, you can't do that, because you've already set up the basic premise and pacing of your story, and you can't suddenly pivot into a long-form tone poem about the horrors of war. so you have to cut something. but what are you gonna cut? bear in mind that you can't just Forget About Dorne, or the Iron Islands, or the Vale, or the North, or pretty much any region of the story, because it's all interconnected, but to fit in everything from the books would require pacing of the sort that no reasonable audience would ever tolerate. and bear in mind that the later books sprout a lot more of these baby-plots that could go somewhere, but also might end up being secondary or tertiary to the "main story," which, at the end of the day, is about dragons and ice zombies and the rot at the heart of the feudal power system glorified in classical fantasy. that's the story that you as the showrunner absolutely must give them an end to, and that's the story that should be your priority 1.

so you do a hack and slash job, and you mortar over whatever you cut out with storylines that you cook up yourself, but you can't go too far afield, because you still need all the characters more or less in place for the final showdown. so you pinch here and push credulity there, and you do your best to put the characters in more or less the same place they would have been if you kept the original, but on a shorter timeframe. and is it as good as the first seasons? of course not! because the material that you have is not suited to TV like the first seasons are. and not only that, but you are now working with source material that is actively fighting your attempt to constrain a linear and well-paced narrative on it. the text that you're working with changed structure when you weren't looking, and now you have to find some way to shanghai this new sprawling behemoth of a Thing into a television show. oh, and by the way, don't think that the (living) author of the source material will be any help with this, because even though he's got years of experience working in television writing, he doesn't actually know how all of these threads will tie together, which is possibly the reason that the next book has taken over 8 years (now 13 and counting) to write. oh and also, your showrunners are sick of this (in fairness, very difficult) job and they want to go write for star wars instead, so they've refused the extra time the studio offered them for pre-production and pushed through a bunch of first-draft scripts, creating a crunch culture of the type that spawns entirely avoidable mistakes, like, say, some poor set designer leaving a starbucks cup in frame.

anyway, that's what I think went wrong with game of thrones.

[autisticrosewilson]

So do you guys actually think that Jason's entire story, relationship to the others, and philosophy amounts to him being a rebellious teen who wants his dad's attention? Like are you 100% serious? I thought you were joking about that but too many of you are saying it with your whole chest.

And what the fuck is this "Bruce antagonizing Jason is fanon!" Shit I've been seeing? You guys are aware that a parent can love their kid and still be a shit parent right? I know you guys don't want to fathom the thought that maybe your blorbo might also occasionally have to face responsibility for consistently endangering children but let's not start being delusional now.

Bruce does love his kids, that doesn't mean that he hasn't hurt them. And I'd also argue that for the most part he feels in the right for it, and he's said multiple times that he believes it's for their own good, so you can't even argue that he's sorry about it. It's okay for you guys to admit that your PERSONAL INTERPRETATION of the character wouldn't do that but don't sit here and pretend that it's not a facet of the source.