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#and she literally I SHIT YOU FUCKING NOT said that shes worried a) about the fact that boys apparently
kissorkill15 · 3 days
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I Didn't Have A Choice: A Hello Neighbor Fanfic
By JJ
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Summary: Trinity learns the reason why Nicky was so obsessed with Mr. Peterson in the first place.
P.S., Art belongs to @ravenbrookz , this is a screenshot. This is also a continuation of @fazbearedits 's previous fanfics.
Nicky was running home from school, trying as best as he could to get away from all of the judgment stares and laughing kids.
He was having such a bad day today. He recently found out that Finch took a picture of his mental breakdown, and the principal didn't even do anything about it.
Everyone was laughing at him. But what about any of this was funny? Nicky was scared for his life, trying to warn his friends to stay away from Crowface and Mr. Peterson, but no one was listening to him. Like always.
No matter what Nicky said or did, he'd always be seen as one thing and one thing only. A brash delinquent who's obsessed with a troubled widow.
Nicky was suddenly startled out of his thoughts when he felt a hand on his shoulder, and immediately jumped back in shock. When he turned around, he saw Trinity.
"Hey.", she said. "Wait up."
Nicky's face turned to anger, and he started stomping away from her. It wasn't her using his words against him that was the problem, it was the fact that she did so little to defend him in the principal's office about the whole picture fiasco. He knew she wasn't trying to converse with him because they were friends or anything, she just wanted to know what he knew about Crowface.
"Hey! Nicky, it's me. Trinity. The girl who -"
"I know who you are.", he growled at her. "You're the girl who didn't even try to defend me when I was in a dire situation."
Trinity scoffed. "Dire? It's just a picture, Nicky. I'm sure it'll all blow over in a couple of weeks."
"And if it doesn't?"
Trinity didn't answer. She wanted to say something, but she just closed her mouth. She kept walking behind Nicky, not planning on stopping. Nicky picked up his pace and started running, turning in the direction of the back of a building. But as luck would have it, Trinity followed him there. Nicky clutched at his head and threw his hands at his hips.
"What do you want?", he asked, even though he probably already knew the answer.
"I just wanted to talk to you about what happened. Nicky, I'm worried about you. Everyone is.", Trinity replied.
"Oh are they?", Nicky asked her incredulously. "If they were really worried about me, then they would've defended me. If anyone was really worried about me, I would have at least one person on my side for fucking once in my life."
Trinity moved closer to Nicky and put a hand on his shoulder. "Nick, how about we calm down for a little bit."
"Calm down? Calm down?! Are you kidding me?! How can I be calm when I'm literally the most unlucky person alive right now?!", he snapped.
Trinity started shouting too. "Well I'm sorry, Nick. I'm sorry you're so unlucky, but some of us have bigger shit to deal with! We've all got bigger shit to deal with, and here you are being a selfish, delusional brat!"
Nicky's eyes could've turned red at that sentence. "SELFISH?! DELUSIONAL?! SURE, TRINITY, LIKE NO ONE'S EVER CALLED ME THAT BEFORE!!", he screamed. "I'm sorry if I'm selfish and delusional, but let's not forget the one who got trapped inside a psychopath's basement, for fucking weeks on end, with nobody to save him!"
"Let's not forget who thought it was a good idea to go in that house, knowing that he might possibly die!"
"Let's not forget who found me a way in!!"
"LET'S NOT FORGET WHO DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO DO THIS!! LET'S NOT FORGET WHO DRAGGED HER INTO THIS MESS BECAUSE SOME IDIOT WAS SO HUNG UP ON PROVING THAT SOME OLD GUY WAS A MURDERER!!"
Nicky took in a deep breath, and said "I just wanted someone to believe me, for someone to be on my side for once."
Trinity turned to leave. "Well congrats, Nick. You got me on your side, and now I'm dealing with another bullshit problem that's possibly worse than Mr. Peterson."
"How is your new situation my fault?"
"Because you dragged me into a rabbit hole that I can't seem to get out of now."
As Trinity was about to leave, she decided to say one last thing to her supposed friend. "You are delusional, and I was an idiot for ever helping you spy on someone to satisfy your stupid needs. I was an idiot for ever helping you get in that house -"
"I NEVER EVEN WANTED TO GO IN THAT HOUSE IN THE FIRST PLACE, BUT I DIDN'T HAVE ANY OTHER CHOICE!"
Trinity was absolutely taken aback by his outburst. "What're you talking about? What do you mean you had no other choice?"
Nicky felt tears pool in his eyes, and he reached into his backpack, and pulled out a missing poster and handed it to Trinity.
"This is Aaron and Mya Peterson. These are his children."
Trinity still didn't get it.
"Before you came to this town, I was the shiny new kid. I once lived in that house across the street from Mr. Peterson, and these two were the best people I've ever met. They immediately accepted me as their friend, welcoming me warmly into their home. I began to see them less like friends and more like siblings. Aaron was my favorite, he was my best friend. We shared so many interests together, and we pulled all kinds of elaborate pranks on people around town. We had a fairytale life,...but it all came to an end. Mrs. Peterson died in a car crash a few months after, and Mr. Peterson was beyond heartbroken. After the funeral, Aaron told me to never come back to that house, and I never understood why. I was distraught, losing the first friends I've made since I came here felt like being stabbed in the heart. A month went by before I ran into Mr. Peterson, nailing up missing posters with Aaron and Mya's faces on them. At that point, I was even more heartbroken, that I didn't come out of my house for weeks. It wasn't until I went across the street to check on Mr. Peterson that I knew something was wrong."
Trinity felt all the air drain from her lungs.
"Mr. Peterson was nailing a door shut, and from behind the door, I heard loud screaming and crying. Like someone was begging to be let out. That was the first time I snuck into his house. The air smelled awful, like a dead body. I checked everywhere around the house, and I didn't like what I saw. A butcher knife, all covered in blood, its shine covered in so much grime. Finally, when I made it to Aaron's room, I saw that the window was shattered, and on the glass was a large stain of dried blood. And under the window, I saw a note reading "I make bad things happen.", and it was at that moment where I thought that Mr. Peterson killed his kids, and he was falsifying a missing persons report to cover it up."
Trinity began biting her nails.
"I tried telling somebody. The police, my parents, the principal, anyone who ever knew Mr. Peterson, but no one believed me. Everyone thought I was the crazy one, that I was harassing an innocent man who lost his family. But I know what I saw! And they'd all have seen it too if they hadn't been so god damn blind!"
Trinity didn't want to ask, but she knew she had to, otherwise, Nicky would continue to be angry at her. "What about the basement? What'd you see in the basement?"
Nicky sat down on the ground, the tears in his eyes starting to drip out.
"It was horrifying, Trinity. This tall, shadow creature, and all I saw when I looked at it was fear. It took the form of two little girls, and begged me to play with them. When I refused, it started biting me and threatening to hurt me or kill me. So I knew if I didn't want to die, I had to play along with their stupid games.", Nicky sniffed. "I wanted to get out so bad. And when I finally did, I learned that no one had bothered to look for me. Not even my own parents, and the only time they show up is when I have a breakdown and embarrass myself and possibly them in front of the entire neighborhood."
Nicky started screaming in between sobs, feeling like he was choking. "Do you know how hard it is, Trinity? To feel like you have no other choice when your friends are possibly in danger, and there's only so much you can do to save them, and you end up failing miserably?! To learn that everyone in town was acting like it was a normal day while you were trying to survive being haunted by a demon?! To be humiliated in public for having a LITERAL mental breakdown, and having everyone laugh at you for it? No, you don't. Because you're not the one who got trapped in the basement."
After all of that rambling, Nicky took out the bag he wore over his head in the basement and put it over his head, finally breaking down and sobbing.
Trinity sat down next to him and wrapped her arms around him, softly whispering reassuring words into his ear, "I'm sorry, Nicky. I had no idea. All this time, I thought you were just an annoying and crazy kid who lived in Raven Brooks, but you were really only trying to save your friends. I'm so sorry, Nicky."
Nicky just kept sobbing into his bag.
Trinity didn't even care about Crowface anymore, or the fact that it was getting dark and her parents were probably starting to worry. All that mattered right now was making sure Nicky was okay.
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minakoaiinos · 3 months
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Twitter getting obsessed with conspiracy theories about where redacted is makes me feel so fucking terrible when there is so much worse going on that people are literally begging you to pay attention to but instead you want to focus on scenarios you made up in your head and play true crime detective
#i saw five hundred women tweeting things like i am going to sound soo crazy at work talking about this 🤣🤣#you need to get the fuck off of twitter number one#ik i sound like i am on twitter too much but i genuinely have just been clicking on what's trending these past few days i have been sick#and its like yes the royal family sucks for five thousand reasons but there are actual atrocities happening right in front of our eyes#that are not a fucking mystery and you guys would rather think of literally anything else#based off of nothing. like i have been a billion tweets the past few days confidently listing off scenarios they know have happened to her#like yay you're so true crime you figured it out and its not even like these people care about women's well being either bc i saw all...#...kinds of nasty shit said about her when she said she was sick in the first place and all kinds of bad comments about how sick pregnancy.#...makes her feel so obviously on the most basic level you don't care about women to act like you now have a narrative from a true crime...#...podcast to project to someone. like you guys will get so distracted by anything#don't get me started on the oscars#everything feels so fucking bleak lately i also don't know how stuff like the election doesn't make everyone feel like they're losing it#like yeah the guy in the movie that's supposed to be about being a girl sang a little song does no one realize how all they're talking...#...about is the guy yet#wait no they're more worried about a bad photoshop than the massive amount of pictures of dead people my bad
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cuntwrap--supreme · 8 months
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My mom's on the phone with the incredibly hate-filled second cousin of my youngest two siblings. I come in the room to ask her to be quiet because I'm trying to find watch Drawfee - which is important, ok? She's been up there discussing how it's bad that there are so many POC (editing this because she used slurs) on airplanes and how she's scared they'll bomb her, and when I go up they've moved to pronouns of all things. I go to pet the cat, waiting for a time to interject, and she says, "Oh, hold on, I'll ask [Leon]. Hey, what do you think about certain airlines just winning the right to pronouns for anyone, regardless of what they are?"
And I'm just like, "I could not possibly care less, and I don't see how you care."
To which she replies, "Well, I'm sorry that I understand biology and know there's only man and woman!"
And I say: "Sure, if you're looking at biology from an elementary school perspective, there is only male and female. But anyone with an education in the subject knows that there's a massive variety in how people are, and there's more than enough evidence to show that someone's perceived birth sex and the way they think about their own self is not always the same. But again: Why does this matter to you? Who is it hurting if someone wants to go by Twig and use xe/xer pronouns? Because I'd love to hear who this hurts."
And this dumb bitch she has one the phone demands to be put on speaker because she could hear me, has me reiterate "for her clarification" (said in the condescending way Matt Walsh might), and says, "Here's the thing, sweetie. There's man and there's woman. That's how God made us. You can live in a fantasy, but you can't deny that."
I say: "You're ignorant on purpose. God doesn't exist. Your kids will hate you in fifteen years' time because you force them to wear political shirts to school, shirts they're too young to understand."
And she says to my mom, "Oh, god! I see what you mean about having lost that one! She's one of the faggots now!"
And my mom just agreed? And says she's disappointed that she's "losing me." Then asks if I think she's wrong for her opinions and I'm like.. yeah? I tell you this all the time? I'll mention a Mexican guy I work with and suddenly it's "I hate all the immigrants." She'll see a commercial with two women getting married and it's "I can't believe those people are allowed to exist." Like. Of course I think she's a dumb bitch.
And this dumber bitch on the phone goes, "Shell, let it go. She's too far gone. Might as well just disown that one!" And she's taken off speaker and they start talking shit about me with me right the hell there. I said, loud enough that this chick could hear, "You're a sad dumb cunt and I hope all your kids are faggy and you die mad about it."
My mom's trying to force me to apologize now. I had "conceded," only to get on the phone and tell her I hope she accidentally shoots herself to death with one of her like 300 rifles, then said I'd call DCS on her if I knew where she lived.
Anyway. I may be violent, but I'm not in the wrong here, and no one can convince me otherwise. It's been like 5 minutes, they're still talking shit about me. And, like, my mom wonders why I don't share shit about myself with her and why I think she's a bad person. Hmm... Maybe it's because her best friend (who shared her views, just more extreme) is someone who likes to larp as an advocate for freedom while simultaneously believing things such as "only whites should be in America," "liberals shouldn't have the right to vote," and "the fags need to be exterminated." I fucking wonder.
#mother#mom#abusive parent#transphobia#transphobes#my mom works in the airport and literally narcs on every poc she sees who is even minorly sketchy...#...bc this vile woman convinced her the minorities are out to do terrorism in random tennessee airports#she literally had a plane to la halted today because it was 'suspicious' that like 80% of the flight was Hispanic.....#as if it's her business who is on a plane. she said they weren't even doing anything. just a bunch of people getting on a plane..#i can tolerate a lot. i cannot tolerate misplaced hatred.#i have anger problems out the wazoo and i choose to funnel that into vigilante-style defense of people who don't deserve hate#i will 100% fight someone fisticuffs style if i see them being a dick#there's literally so much going on in the world and you're worried about Demin (34) wanting to go by fae/faer?? hello?#you're a clown. clown world. clown shoes. tell me you don't understand the world without telling me.#Tisha who just chose her name yesterday and hasn't figured out how to get a clean beard shave yet isn't your enemy...#fucking rich fucks and governments worldwide are. Garret in his binder can't hurt you. billionaires can.#the kind of people who choose to prioritize shit like pronouns prove to me they're dumb as bricks#people are dying in needless conflict and global shortages of food and housing and you're concerned about Laura using they/them?#you're dumb. second graders surpass you in intelligence and analysis skills and empathy.
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hecksupremechips · 1 year
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My mother was genuinely pissed off tonight about the concept of two guys showing affection towards each other in any capacity and was ranting about it for like 20 minutes. And she still claims she’s not homophobic 😞
#the klock keeps ticking#im genuinely so sorry i feel like i keep bitching about being home but hnnghhhh this woman is so exhausting to be around#like here she was complained saying that boys nowadays are really affectionate towards their male friends#like. hugging them#THATS LITERALLY ALL IT IS THEY HUG THEIR FRIENDS FOR MORE THAN HALF A SECOND#and my mom is like I DONT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS BUT-#like bitch you so fucking clearly do have a problem you specifically brought this up out of the blue and bitched about it#and im like literally what is the problem here its a good thing these kids are being affectionate with their equally affectionate friends#especially since boys ESPECIALLY around here are pumped up on toxic masculinity and dont express love in healthy ways#and she literally I SHIT YOU FUCKING NOT said that shes worried a) about the fact that boys apparently#arent ‘touching’ girls anymore (which she specifically said was cuz of metoo era parenting so shes literally talking about assault)#so yeah i guess shes mad boys arent sexually harassing girls as much???#then b) said that boys as a result are going to and i quote ‘stop touching girls and start only touching each other and living together’#and this is an issue cuz humans will no longer procreate#IM NOT MAKING ANY OF THIS UP SHE SAID LITERALLY ALL OF THIS AND SOMEHOW DOESNT SEE HOW ITS HOMOPHOBIC#i really really am just. exhausted she is too much#i kept desperately trying to move on but she kept TALKING ugh#i hate her#i need comfort and a restraining order
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elytrafemme · 11 months
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call the hairdresser and call the mediator because the way i'm splitting to the fucking ends right now
#babes i'm so sorry about it i'm SO sorry about it but i don't think we can blame this one on the period craziness anymore#i've not even been that mentally ill lately but my friend said we like can't hang out before he goes back to school#AND my sister doesn't want to hang out tn and i'm genuinely like? i'm going to break my fucking phone#like okay i'll just kill myself. whatever. i'm becoming super fucking toxic it's really bad#obviously i don't say this shit this is internal i'm not gonna push for anything that's super fucked#but like. ohhhh my God the rage i'm feeling right now. i need to kill someone#literally why am i like this. no explanation no anything i'm just like this? who fucked me over though like what happened#what's my tragic backstory i've got nothing i'm literally just crazy#he's not even answering my fucking texts anymore like tell me to die. pussy. do it. do it! fuck w me right now#and i was so nice i literally was like. hey no worries how's your summer been what's been going on!#i'm watching more youtube within the last 10 minutes of checking my phone i've almost thrown up and thrown it twice#do you think people try to fuck me over. do you think that's a thing. like they're testing me#if you showed me some of my old online friends right now the way i would rip them into pieces#my girlfriend's been pissed lately too like it's my two best friends riding for me and nobody else#oh he replied fucking great. shooting myself in the head i'm so manic pixie for this i'm so fixing him right now#i'm not he's got a girlfriend. but like. whatever. could've been me & i think about that when i'm mad#i do not like him but me and her are literally the exact same she's just prettier and smarter and i'm more of a good person#not right now though. i need to loop someone gets hurt from mean girls until i'm fucking normal#neg#vent#suicide tw
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fingertipsmp3 · 7 months
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Well December is shaping up to be a mad one
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autisticrosewilson · 4 months
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De-aging fic where Jason and Dick are both suddenly 18 again. In the height of their angry angst eras, at the same time. And Jason is like "yeah, more or less what I remember" but Dick is like "What the FUCK happened to you I will kill Bruce with my bare hands. I've planted landmines around every inch of amusement mile. Put Talia on the phone immediately"
Bruce is genuinely fighting off assassination attempts left and right from his son's and honestly the only reason he hasn't succumbed is because of Cass and Alfred.
Tim knew of Dick's dirtbag era but he didn't REALLY know the version of Dick that the rest of the kids got was so much tamer they're all perpetually in shock.
Obviously they're all curious about what happened to Jason in the years before he came back but they absolutely are NOT ready for him to actually tell them.
"Yeah, so I planned on killing him but Talia said that I have to have better training first and I think she only said that to distract me but I've stopped trying to argue with her about it. What the fuck are you talking about the Lazarus pit didn't bring shit back I crawled out MYSELF thank you. It did get rid of the catanoia though. Yeah for like three years I was just walking around, literal zombie with less cannibalism. Don't worry the whole thing passed by in like a week for me. Was really weird being 18 suddenly though, y'know one second I'm choking on smoke under the debris 'nd the next I'm clawing out of the ground, I blink and suddenly I'm being dragged out of a Lazarus pit."
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mossy-rock-in-a-field · 6 months
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Several weeks ago, my retirement-age mother requested that I play Baldur’s Gate 3 for her because she has trouble with controllers/keyboards and wanted “to see what all the fuss is about with that cute wizard boy.” For context, my mother and I have done this sort of thing in the past with certain RPGs (dragon age, mass effect, etc.), but it’s been a few years since she’s personally requested a game like this. Basically, I control her Tav but let her make all the choices so she can determine how the story plays out without worrying about mechanics. She treats it like a choose-your-own-adventure book.
Anyway, here is a list of some of the things my mother has said and/or chosen to do throughout the course of BG3 in no particular order:
She is (obviously) romancing Gale. She is quite smitten with him and his passion for books and learning; she also thinks he’s polite and qualifies as “relationship material.” She also REALLY likes the things he’s said about his cat so far (my mom is a cat lady), so I know she’s gonna flip shit when we meet Tara in Act III.
She’s playing a normal druid Tav with a generally good alignment. Her favorite spell is Spike Growth because she thinks it’s hilarious whenever enemies walk into the AOE and die. I usually end up having to cast it at least once per battle per her request. Sometimes twice.
Contrary to her alignment, my mother tasks me with robbing every single chest, crate, barrel, and burlap sack we come across; this also includes people and their pockets. The party is always at max carrying capacity. ALWAYS. She doesn’t like selling things because “what if I need them.” The camp stash is in literal shambles. There is no hope of organizing it. She’s got like fifty seven sets of rags and a billion pieces of random silverware.
She MUST talk to every animal and corpse in the game. I think five hours of her total playtime so far (47ish) has been spent speaking to animals as many times as humanly possible. Like, I was thorough in my own playthroughs, but this is on a whole other level.
She did NOT get Volo’s lobotomy, but she did let Auntie Ethel take her eye in hopes of a cure for the tadpole. I did not understand the logic then. I still do not understand it now.
She is far more interested in fashion than equipment stats. Do you have any idea how much gold I’ve had to spend on dyes just to make things match? SO much. Same vibe as that “please someone help me balance my finances my family is starving” tweet but instead of candles it’s thirty thousand fucking bottles of black and furnace red dye.
We broke the prisoners out of Moonrise, but they got on the boat too early and bugged the fight by leaving Astarion and Karlach behind. Wulbren Bongle somehow got stuck in combat mode even after engaging the cutscene on the docks below Last Light; he he kept trying to run ALL THE WAY BACK TO MOONRISE nine fucking meters at a time while I frantically tried to finish the fight with the Warden, otherwise Wulbren would have run straight into the shadow curse. (I would’ve let him go; fuck Wulbren Bongle, all my homies hate Wulbren Bongle. But my mom didn’t know that, and she wanted to keep him safe. So.)
She had me reload a save like eighteen times to save the giant eagles on top of Rosymorn Monastery. Wouldn’t even let me do non-lethal damage just to get past things. I think getting that warhammer for the dawnmaster puzzle took us like an hour and a half alone. (Yes, I know you can use any warhammer, but SHE didn’t.)
She’s started keeping an irl notebook to keep track of her quests between play sessions. She writes down ideas and strategies when she thinks of them during the week, then brings them to her next game session at my house. I think she wrote about three pages on possible approaches to the goblin fortress alone.
She insists that I pet Scratch and the owlbear cub before every single long rest, no exceptions. Sometimes I have to do it multiple times until she is absolutely sure that the animals know exactly how much she loves and cherishes them. She has also commissioned a crocheted owlbear plush from a friend of hers and is very excited.
I’m sure there’s a bunch of stuff I’m forgetting, but those are some fun things I thought of. She’s enjoying the game and is telling all of her retired friends to get it and play it for themselves. She asked me “what is Discord” yesterday and I think my life flashed before my eyes.
anyway shout out to my mom for being neat
Part 2 — Part 3 — Part 4 — Part 5
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silenceismychoir · 1 year
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theres something very wrong with me
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drunktuesdays · 2 years
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everyone is fucking but no one is horny
one of my twitter friends recently said that if she could order up a fic it would be a story written by someone who has only ever read the classics, 1.5 star trek novelizations, and their mother's romance novels from 1970, written about two people are so out of their minds horny for each other it causes them to make the absolute worst choices anyone's ever made.
and i almost lost my mind laughing because i do know exactly what she means. there is a weird vibe i can sometimes sense within the first few paragraphs a fic that really bums me out. it's almost like i can tell the author is thinking way too much about what i'm thinking about their id and it's suddenly like we're all suddenly wondering how riding a bicycle works when we're mid-ride. when you start worrying too much audience interpretation or how a fic is going to do or play or ugh marketability, it genuinely adds some weird self-conscious distance to whatever you're doing. and it's the pits from the reader side because it removes so much horniness from your story even if the idea you have is genuinely good! i know this is not a niche complaint--you find it literally everywhere as every sector of the creative internet gets #content-ed and people can't escape the stats of how any given creative outlet does.
but god there's literally nothing better than sitting down and reading some freaknasty person's art where they do not give a single shit if you like it. they had something to say and my god they were gonna say it. i've accidentally acquired so many kinks by clicking on a story where someone took me on the most insane ride of my life and i thrilled about it. i don't wanna read about polite normal regular love. i don't wanna read about people using therapy-speak on each other. i wanna read about two people feeling the biggest craziest feelings of their entire life and they cannot do anything about it except bang it out. what else are we doing here? if they're not fucking down an entire house, well jed i don't even wanna read it.
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theemporium · 2 months
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[1.7k] they want to believe jack when he says he has a girlfriend. they really do. it's just kind of hard to do so when they never see her. or, in which everyone is worried jack has found himself in a parasocial relationship.
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“Fuck.” 
Jack raised his head, finding his attention drawn to his captain sitting on the aisle across from him on the bus. He watched as the man began patting himself down before he let out a sigh, standing up to reach for his bag on the overhead shelf. Yet, whatever he was trying to find was a fruitless endeavour as he settled back in his seat with a frown on his face.
“You good?” 
“Hm,” Nico hummed, letting out another long breath as he leaned back in his seat. “Yeah, I just forgot my headphones.”
“Nico Hischier not being organised?” Jack teased, a smile growing on his face. “Someone alert the authorities.”
Nico huffed out a laugh. “Ha. Ha. Ha.” 
“Just messin’ with you, cap,” Jack mused, deciding to be the better person and not point out the fact he could see Nico’s dimple even if the boy tried to act like he wasn’t laughing. “Here, I’ll share my music with you. Because I’m nice like that.”
The older boy raised his brows. “Your music for the full five hour drive?”
Jack raised his brows in return. “Do you have anything else better to do?”
“Fair enough,” Nico murmured before he reached over, taking the airpod and slipping it into his ear. “But I get to add some songs too.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Jack waved him off before handing over his phone. “Maybe try more English rap songs so I can understand them too, yeah?” 
“Sure, because I’m nice like that,” Nico said with a grin before he turned to shift his attention to Jack’s phone. He clicked on the queue, his brows furrowing slightly when he saw the songs lined up. “Huh.”
“What?”
“Nothing,” Nico murmured. “I just thought you were a country music kind of guy. Never thought you’d be into the rock scene.”
Jack’s cheeks burned as he let out a slightly strained laugh. “I was, uh, broadening my horizons.”
Nico turned to look at him. “So you chose one band? You know, I know a couple of bands if you want them—”
“I’m fine with that band,” Jack said, flashing his captain a smile. 
“You’ve liked every one of their songs.”
“Mhm.”
“So, you know you like the genre, at least. Maybe you should try—”
“I’m good.”
“Jack—”
“Start queuing songs before I take my phone back, Hisch.”
Nico stared at him for a few moments, noting the way he fidgeted in his seat with his cheeks flushed far brighter than they should be with the bus AC blasting. But, Nico decided he would be nice this time around and not bring it up.
Not yet, at least.
Plus the band Jack had chosen was pretty good, if he did say so himself.
...
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...
“What are you giggling at?”
“I’m not giggling at anything.” 
Luke narrowed his eyes. “You literally giggled as you said that.”
“Don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Unfortunately for Luke, this had been a recurring conversation over the last few weeks because, despite what he said, Jack spent the better part of his free time giggling at his phone. It was sickening and annoying and Luke was so done with trying to scroll through TikTok with his brother snickering like some teenage girl in the background. 
It was starting to grate on his last nerve.
“You’re so full of shit,” Luke grumbled as he shoved a spoonful of cereal into his mouth, narrowing his eyes on his big brother from over the kitchen counter. 
“Maybe you should find someone to text and stop bothering me,” Jack retorted, the words slipping past his lips so casually, almost like he hadn’t realised what he said. 
But Luke heard loud and clear.
He straightened up in his seat, his annoyance now replaced with curiosity and he flashed his brother an inquisitive look. “Who are you messaging that has you giggling?” 
“I am not giggling,” Jack huffed out before he lifted his head, finally looking away from his phone screen to catch his brother’s gaze. “And, for your information, I am texting my girlfriend.” 
A few moments of silence passed as both boys stared at each other.
Luke blinked. “When the fuck did you get a girlfriend?” 
“It’s new,” Jack said with a casual shrug of his shoulders. 
Luke’s eyes narrowed. “How new?” 
“Just a couple of months or so,” Jack murmured, at least having the guts to look a little sheepish as a light blush spread across his cheeks. 
“Months?!” Luke repeated with a scoff, the bowl of cereal he was snacking on now long forgotten. “How come this is the first time I’m hearing of it?” 
“We are keeping things private!” Jack defended. 
“I’m your brother!” Luke retorted. “You’re meant to tell me shit. I’d tell you if I had a girlfriend! Quinn would tell me if he had a girlfriend!” 
“But neither of you do,” he snapped back with a shit-eating grin. 
“And you supposedly do,” Luke muttered, shaking his head. “What’s her name?” 
“That’s not important.”
Luke blinked. “Uh, yeah, dude, I think it is.” 
Jack shrugged again. “Maybe I don’t want you to know.” 
“Why not?” Luke questioned, watching his brother just shrug again—not that he was getting fucking sick of that or anything—before he glared. “Is it someone I know?” 
“Maybe.” 
“You’re being ridiculously vague right now and it’s annoying as fuck,” Luke told him. 
Jack’s grin widened. “I know!” 
“Fine, keep your stupid secrets,” Luke grumbled as he reached for his spoon again, rolling his eyes when he heard Jack laughing. “Like I fucking care anyways.” 
But he did. 
He really fucking did and he would find out who this secret girlfriend was if it’s the last thing he did. 
...
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yourusername las vegas, you ALWAYS make me feel at home❤️🖤
view 12,930 comments
user MOTHER!!!
user hot AND talented. your fav could never
user new music when!!!
user THE SHIRT-
jackhughes ur so pretty😍😍😍
user not this guy again
user not a man
notzegrasipromise JACK???
...
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...
“Yeah, I mean, I love my parents but I wish my girlfriend could’ve made it out. It would have been nice to have her here for the family skate too.” 
That was all it took for the hustling and bustling of the locker room to come to a screeching halt. 
Jack frowned, his hands holding his jersey in his hand that he had just taken off as he glanced around the room. All of the boys were giving him different looks: some concerned, some amused, some confused. It was throwing him off. 
“Uh, what?” 
“You have a girlfriend?” It was Dawson who eventually asked, his brows furrowed together in questioning.
“Yeah,” Jack nodded, feeling an odd sense of deja vu from the conversation he had with Luke a few weeks ago. “Geez, I didn’t realise we had to announce stuff like this now.”
“I mean,” Jesper spoke up, shrugging his shoulders. “We’re close, yeah? We usually just tell each other these things. You’ve never mentioned her before.”
“Don’t bother asking for her name,” Luke grumbled from the other side of the locker room.
“She’s not coming to the family skate?” Nico questioned, focusing the attention back to Jack who simply shrugged.
“She travels a bunch for work,” Jack explained. “Or, at least, for right now. She’s out in Nashville right now so she couldn’t make it.”
“But I thought you were all over that rockstar girl,” Simon spoke up from his stall, leaning back against the cubby, half dressed and legs spread. “Every time I open Twitter, I see it.”
Jack’s cheeks burned. 
Jesper gave him a disapproving look. “Don’t tell me you’ve been commenting on another girl’s instagram when you have a girlfriend. What does she think about it?”
“She likes them!” Jack defended. 
Jesper frowned. “I find that hard to believe.”
“Yeah, you’re kind of desperate on instagram,” Simon continued with a snort.
“Well, she hasn’t told me to stop,” Jack huffed.
“Yes, because a rockstar with a couple of million followers would personally reach out to stop you,” Luke drawled, a heavy layer of sarcasm dripping from his words.
“She would, considering she is my girlfriend.”
Once again, the locker room fell silent.
“You’re fucking shitting me,” Luke eventually spoke up, shaking his head. “You really think we believe that you pulled her?” 
Jack frowned. “What’s so hard to believe about that?”
“She’s an international rockstar and you’re just a dude who plays hockey,” Luke retorted. 
“So are you!” 
“Yeah, and I’m not sitting here trying to tell people I’m dating Taylor Swift, am I?”
“This is different,” Jack huffed before looking around the room. “I’m dating her! I really am! We met at that rock bar in Jersey City a couple of months ago and we’ve been chatting ever since.”
The boys all gave each other various looks.
“Fine, don’t believe,” Jack grumbled as he leaned down to start untying his skates. “I know I’m telling the truth. It’s not my fault you don’t believe me.”
For the record, only Jim and Ellen Hughes showed up to the New Jersey Devils’ family skate. 
...
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yourusername east coast, we are coming for you!!❤️🖤
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user i cannot believe the tour is almost over
user NEW MUSIC WHEN
user i'm seeing you in eight days!!!!
user oh my god she is so hot
jackhughes coming back to the better coast❤️🖤
user omg he is copying the hearts too
user he is delusional
user it is the devils colours
user you sound just as delusional as him
...
“So, I’ve been talking to Luke.” 
“Oh great,” Jack grumbled as he sunk further into the pillows of the living room couch.
“And I went on Twitter.”
“You must have been pretty bored to redownload it,” Jack commented, suddenly finding interest in the strings of his hoodie, instead of his brother’s face on the phone screen. He should have known it was odd when Quinn messaged to check he was home alone before he called.
“Jack.” 
“Don’t look at me like that,” Jack whined as he tried to hide himself deeper into his hoodie. “Whatever Luke told you is bullshit.”
“So you’re not telling people you’re dating an international rock sensation?” 
“Well, I’m not telling everyone,” Jack corrected. “But I am dating her!”
“Uh huh.”
“Not you too,” Jack groaned, throwing his head back and finding his gaze locked on some random part of the ceiling. “Quinn, why would I lie about this?” 
“Because you took a rough hit to the head.”
His head quickly snapped down to glare at his older brother who had the audacity to smirk in response. 
“We’re just worried, Jack. You don’t mention a single thing about talking to her. Then you’re showing up in her comments. And then you’re claiming to date her. All whilst playing and training like normal.”
Jack rolled his eyes.
“It’s fine if you have a little crush or something but—”
“She isn’t just a crush, she’s my girlfriend,” Jack repeated for the umpteenth time. “You’ll see soon.”
Quinn didn’t look awfully convinced  but he knew better than to push Jack on the matter any further. He instead shifted the conversation to a power play from the game before and, thankfully, Jack took the bait. In fact, he was far too busy rambling to even notice Quinn typing out a message straight to Luke. 
quinnifer: ur right 
quinnifer: he’s a fucking lost cause
...
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yourusername tour was a dream but happy to finally come home to you jackhughes ❤️🖤
view all 37,373 comments
jackhughes glad to have my girl home❤️🖤
user WHAT
user a hard launch post tour??? oh she is sick
user i can't believe we lost her to a man
user IS THIS NOT THE HOCKEY DUDE
user omg he actually stood a chance
trevorzegras WHAT THE FUCK
trevorzegras WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
user omg one sings rock and the other plays at the rock
user IT WAS WRITTEN IN THE STARS
lhughes_06 holy shit
_quinnhughes didn't see that one coming
trevorzegras HOW WHAT WHEN WHERE WHY
user i think hockey dude broke his hockey friend
jackhughes he will be fine
trevorzegras NO HE WILL NOT BE FINE
trevorzegras ANSWER YOUR PHONE ROWDY
jackhughes leave me alone, i'm trying to spend time with my girlfriend
yourusername it's true :) very little clothes included
trevorzegras i'm going to go throw myself off a cliff
user what the fuck did i just wake up to
.
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queers-gambit · 3 months
Text
Adore Her, Dior Her
prompt: ( requested ) what good is having all that money if he can't spend it on the woman he loves?
pairing: Mafia!Bucky Barnes x female!reader
fandom masterlist: Marvel
word count: 4.3k+
warnings: author foams at the mouth for Mafia AUs, overwhelming fluff, cursing, not edited.
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"That's the one. That's one we should get!"
"You've said that about the past three dresses, Buck!" You groaned, smoothing your hands over the skirt. "We need to narrow this down, okay? The wedding's in a month!"
"Why did we even agree to go?"
You glared, "'Cause we love my brother and we're supporting him."
"But she's just so - "
"Jen. Her name's Jen."
Bucky nodded, leaning back on the cushioned chair, "Well, Jen's just wrong for him. Literally the definition of toxic."
"Does it count if they're toxic together? To each other?" You sighed, standing on the pedestal and turning to look in the three mirrors beside the dressing room.
"Of course it does," he stood, buttoning his suit jacket out of habit. He approached you, head cocking as he looked your body up and down to get the full view of the gown you tried on. "You're really okay letting him marry her? Turn this way a bit, baby, lemme see the front."
You scoffed, but took his offered hand and twisted on the small platform towards him, "You were there at Christmas, he doesn't listen to reason. So, if Daniel's convinced Jen's for him, as his sister, my only job is be supportive."
"They literally abuse each other," he pointed out.
"Well, he's not changing his mind. Okay? It's been three years, he won't budge, whenever someone brings up them breaking up, he goes into hiding - so, I don't know what else I can do," your hands slapped your thighs when you shrugged, "except just be there for him. Now, focus, please, help me narrow a dress down."
He shook his head as you turned to face the mirrors again, "Actually, you know what? I don't think anything in this store is for us."
The attendant perked up and scurried over, rushing, "Oh, well, we have a much larger selection in the back, Mr. Barnes - "
"That won't be necessary, Barbra, thank you, though," he nodded. "Doll," his hand planted on your waist, head over your shoulder as you still looked yourself over in the mirrors, "go get changed, I know where we need to go."
"Bucky, no, there's plenty of options here," you argued, twisting on the wee little pedestal to face him again. "We don't need to drop a stack on a dress - "
"You let me worry about the price tag," he smirked, leaning in to peck your cheek. "Just go change, pretty girl, c'mon. Step-to!"
You offered Barbra, the attendant, an apologetic smile as you shuffled back into the changing room; quickly stripping from the dress. When you exited in your street clothes, Bucky was tipping the aged woman for her effort in gathering your options, but the moment he saw you, his hand was extending to hold yours tightly.
"What was wrong with that store?" You asked when you stepped onto the noisy and busy street to approach the sleek, tinted car Bucky drove for day-to-day errands.
"We're not shopping at David's fucking Bridal."
"You literally drove us here," you laughed.
"Yeah, and then I had a much better idea," he smirked at you, unlocking the car and opening your passenger door. "C'mon, princess, just gotta trust me."
"Last time you said that - "
"That wasn't my fault," he groaned, cheeks flaring red in embarrassment. When you opened your mouth to retort, he rushed, "Aht, nope, don't say shit. C'mon, I'm taking you somewhere special so get that pretty ass in the car."
He grinned when you laughed and did as bid, feet safely inside when he closed the door after you were settled. Bucky easily jogged around the back of his car, New York busy this time of year as traffic flew past on the street and forced Buck slow. He dropped into the driver's seat, sniffling slightly.
"Reminds me," Bucky smirked as he pulled onto the street, "how would you feel about us going to Aspen this winter?"
You sighed, "Why?"
"You wanna stay in New York for Christmas?"
"Well, yeah! It's so magical."
"Okay, so, we can go over New Years?"
You sighed, "You know, we don't have to go anywhere..."
"Sweetheart," he cleared his throat, "I actually have some business in Aspen, this will just help determine when I schedule the meetings for."
"Oh," you nodded slowly.
He sighed, "I know my job isn't orthodox, but business is business, right, sugar?”
"No, yeah, yeah, I get it. It sounds kinda nice, maybe we can go skiing."
"You know how to ski?"
"No, but I'm sure someone in Aspen could help teach me."
Bucky grinned. The drive was full of easy conversation, neither you nor Bucky dwelling on his business dealings, always feeling as if it was taboo given his station in the Mafia. So when he pulled up in front of a designer store, you gawked. "Now, if we can't find something here - "
"Um, absolutely not," you laughed. "Bucky, I can't even afford to walk into a place like that!"
"Good thing I'm paying," he smirked. He assisted you out of the car, tossing his keys to one of his security guards who had been following in a separate, tinted vehicle. When you both entered the dimly lit store, you were blown away by the gorgeous minimalist design; warm lighting, open floor space, and racks of different clothing options.
"Ah, Mr. Barnes! Hello, hello, hello!" A new attendant greeted with more enthusiasm than you would've greeted any of your clients, approaching you two. She shook your boyfriend's hand vigorously, "To what do we owe this pleasure?"
Bucky wrapped his arm around your waist, "Looking for a dress to wear to a wedding."
She offered you a forced smile, telling your boyfriend swiftly with her teeth on full display, "You came to the right spot!"
"See?" Bucky smirked at you. "All right, Valeria, what's first?"
Valeria waved you both onward to a private changing room, offering complimentary sparkling waters, coffees, teas - even offering to go retrieve anything you two would want from the Starbucks down the block. Valeria took your measurements and dress size, making idle chit-chat with Bucky and making it obvious he was a regular in the store, then scurrying off to collect an armful of options.
"This is - wow," you nodded in impression, petting the material of the display dresses hung along the wall.
"Like it?"
"It's growing on me," you eased with a small shrug, hearing Bucky chuckle and for his phone to chime. You perused the place as he became glued to the little device, sat in front of the dressing rooms.
Valeria returned with another attendant carrying coffees. "Right this way, Mrs. Barnes," Valeria directed you into a changing room, missing the giddy look you sent Bucky over your shoulder at being called his wife. "All right, so," she sighed, hanging up the dresses she selected, "I think these are modest enough for a wedding, but still glamorous to turn a few heads."
You hummed, "They're kinda short, don't know if that's the energy I want to be giving off at my brother's wedding."
"They'll fit differently once on but we can always accommodate," she assured, pulling one from the hanger. "Here we go," she assisted you, zipping you in and looking you over. "Oh, it's just darling on you! Look at that, not a single hair outta place, right?"
You giggled lightly, "It's certainly pretty."
"Shall we show Mr. Barnes?"
You nodded, following her out to reveal Bucky sitting on a plush loveseat, sipping his coffee. His eyes widened when he saw you, nodding, "Oh, yeah. This is what I'm talking about."
"Hush, we're only buying one."
His eyes rolled, "I'll buy the whole damn store if I want."
"You don't own it already? Hm," you teased, perking your brows.
"Keep sayin' shit, I'll cut a check right now - "
"Bucky," you tisked, moving to the runway mirrors. "It's a little tight, isn't it?"
"It's snug," Valeria agreed. "Is there a color scheme for the wedding?"
"Um," you paused, "I'm not sure - I just know it's in winter, like, in a month."
"Maybe a pretty powder blue?" She looked to Bucky, who nodded. "Or how about a pale green? Like an olive tone?"
"She looks gorgeous in anything," Bucky smirked from behind you, taking another pull of his coffee.
"What about that brown number?" You asked, ignoring the way his compliments made you feel like the only girl he's ever seen in the world.
"You have a very good eye, Mrs. Barnes," Valeria nodded. She asked her coworker to go find your size, taking you back into the dressing room. You narrowed down the options without changing again, not wanting anything black or dark since it was a wedding and not a funeral. Though, you knew Bucky would disagree.
You showed your boyfriend a pretty little green dress, but he shook his head. "I thought the black was nice," he told you.
"I'm not wearing black to a wedding," you laughed lightly. "It screams bad luck to me, don't you think?"
"Think it's more of a statement, sayin' the entire event is a sham and they shouldn't be doing this," Bucky snickered, the other attendant, Laura, returning with a pretty brown dress. "That satin?" He asked, rubbing the material when it was presented to you both.
"It's very fashionable now," Laura nodded, "and it's not too dark."
"Since when is it a rule to not wear dark colors to a wedding? I miss the memo?" Buck leaned back to his seat.
All three women offered him a small look, you chuckling under your breath before Valeria was leading you back into the changing room. "If I may, Mrs?" She spoke softly, "I've known Mr. Barnes for a number of years but he's never brought anyone into the store. Then, one day, he tells me he needs a new suit because the 'girl of his dreams' had agreed to a date, and every time since then?" She smiled softly at you, "He's sang your praises. I'm very honored you're trusting me with helping you today."
"Oh," you blinked in shock, giggling nervously, "well, thank you very much, Valeria, now I know why his suits are always top of the line." She waved you off, making you add, "And for the record, I'm not Mrs. Barnes, guess that'd be his mother, wouldn't it?"
"Oh," her eyes widened, gasping softly, "oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't know, I just - he talks so highly about you - "
"No, it's okay, it's okay," you rushed, patting her arm. "I actually kind of like it..."
She hummed, zipping you into another dress, "You know, he's the reason my girl and I are together."
"Really? How'd that happen?"
Valeria chuckled, "He's very bold, your man. We were getting coffee one day, discussing his wardrobe for a business trip he had in Hong Kong, when my lady walked in. I went all silly and stupid, and Mr. Barnes just," she shook her head with a fond smile, "brazenly asked her out for me, in front of the whole shop."
"Oh, Jesus, yeah - sounds like him."
"Well, luckily, it worked, else I don't think he would've come back for my assistance. I was so embarrassed, you have no idea, but my lady - Charlie - thought it was charming and cute. Mr. Barnes hasn't let me live it down since. Says he demands an invite to the wedding." She met your eyes through the mirror, offering, "And I'd be really happy to give him a plus one, hmm?"
"You're so sweet," you whispered, turning to survey the dress. You spent the better part of three hours there, trying on dress after dress, nitpicking almost everything as you just weren't sure what to wear. Bucky wasn't much help, he just approved everything.
So, it was up to Valeria and Laura to help you; bringing out iPads and design books, trying to piece something together that best fit your comfort and the vibe of the wedding. You didn't want to look like a walking money bag since your family wasn't by any means wealthy, thinking it would be a slap to their faces since your boyfriend could spend his money without ever thinking about it. You didn't want to give your family any reason to talk behind your back.
"I like the brown satin," Laura offered softly, looking you over in the mirror. "But the blue is just wow, it really looks like it was made for you, doesn't it?"
"Yes, but I think the green compliments her eyes more," Valeria cocked her head in thought. "Are you wearing your hair up or down?"
"Up," you answered, trying to mimic the look by pulling your locks off your shoulders, "with thin jewelry, I think."
"Diamonds?"
"Pearls, if I can find a dress that looks nice with it," you smiled, seeing Bucky's reflection in the mirror watching you with a soft smile on his face; head titled in thought before his phone chimed again and warranted his attention. "Maybe we could try the pink dress?" You looked to the two women for an opinion.
"No," Valeria shook her head, "it washes you out. And pink in winter? Oh, sweetie, I'd lose my job if I let you leave here with that. Guess that means you'll have to come back in the spring, right?"
You grinned in response as Laura chimed in, "The green's actually really nice, but the brown looks much better with your body type." Then she turned to Bucky, prompting, "Mr. Barnes? Final decision - which dress?"
Bucky paused, musing, "Lemme see them all again, get one last taste. It's between the green and brown numbers?"
"Or the blue," Valeria nodded. "C'mon, sweetie," she offered her hand to help you off the wee runway you were perched on in front of the magnificent mirrors.
"You look sensational in them all, doll, how the hell am I supposed to choose just one?" Bucky teased, his canines on display from the broad grin that stretched his lips.
"You'll find a way," you answered.
"Awh, telling me Mr. Big-Tough-Manly-Business-Man who makes impossible decisions everyday can't choose a simple piece of fashion?" Valeria tacked on.
"You guys can't pick either!" He laughed, "And you do a helluva lot more shopping than I do!"
Laura, Valeria, and you paused to exchange looks, you pointing at Bucky and relenting in a drawl, "Touché."
When you were escorted back into the dressing room, Laura waiting outside the door for your privacy with Valeria, Bucky sat back on the plush loveseat and extended his one arm over the back of the seating. He smirked to himself, shaking his head as if in disbelief - but he was. Bucky was in disbelief.
How did a rugged Mob boss find himself here? Watching his girl like a private fashion show?
His whole life, all he knew was turmoil, pain, drama, and fear. He knew he would inherit his father's well-built organization after he passed and knew what this life would entail; having no preconceived notions about a quiet life. He knew he would have to be tougher than tough, adaptable, intelligent, and confident in his role as the head of the 3-6 Brooklyn Mob. Knowing the idea of a family was farfetched, knowing he'd never know the simple pleasures in life, that he would constantly be on the move - in-able to form real, sentimental, emotional connections. He knew, in this life, he'd remain alone for everyone's best interest and safety, indulging in a series of flings and one-off relationships that couldn't haunt him.
Yet they did. These encounters reminded Bucky how alone, how stranded, how isolated, how different he was. Instead of satisfying an unquenchable thirst, these fleeting partners became heavy anchors to Bucky's reality and reminded him that there was no such thing as love - nor was there any room or logic.
And then... He met you. Bucky's lips silently spread in a grin as he remembered meeting you at a bakery; purchasing the last slice of coconut cream pie to your absolute chagrin. He thought you were gorgeous, something ethereal and unobtainable; authentic, raw, and unfiltered - things his one night stands could never measure up to. So, he offered you the slice of pie if it meant giving him your number as currency.
After that, it was impossible for Bucky to consider ever being alone again because you were the sun; center of the universe that drew everyone into your orbit. He was smitten, content, excited to date you, turned on by the fact you had no idea who he was - a rare occurrence in the city. You were pure as fresh snow; sweet, kind, affectionate, attentive, and borderline overly empathetic.
Bucky knew he was in love with you after only a few weeks when he had shown up at your apartment, dripping in blood. You didn't panic like he feared you would, just checked up and down the hallway before yanking him into your home. You cleaned him up, tending to wounds, offering a safe space for him to relax in; making mindless conversation to help distract him from the pain he endured.
And now? Now, Bucky was sat in Dior, giving his opinion on your wedding guest dress; wondering how he allowed himself to get to this point of being domestic. Bucky wasn't a man to give his opinion on dresses, what color nail polish you should use, to send fresh bouquets of flowers every other week. Yet here he was, sipping too-expensive coffee, deciding between brown, green, and blue dresses that he never would've batted an eye at.
However, that was just the domino effect you caused in his life. You were sweeter than apple pie, becoming Bucky's one tether to reality that saved him from losing himself in this dark, criminal mindset he adopted. You didn't know it, but you had transformed Bucky from a brooding asshole into a boyfriend; someone you were proud to claim and never hid from - never shied away from. He admired the way you came to terms with his job, knowing it was a hard pill to swallow and yet noting the way you just accepted him as he was.
Bucky realized in that moment that he adored this new aspect of life after thinking it was impossible to obtain. He adored sitting here, offering opinions on dresses, his security left outside instead of hovering over him like a brutal reminder he was seedy. He loved having you to come home to, he loved being part of your mundane world - a person who went to weddings, who drank Starbucks, who asked her boyfriend his opinion about how she looked in dresses. Who thought bouquets of flowers were romantic, who baked him homemade cakes for his birthday, who worked overtime in order to afford his Christmas or birthday presents, who walked to the takeout place instead of paying for delivery.
All that you are, Bucky adored deeply; falling in love with you each and every single day. All he wanted to do was protect you, share his life with you, even pick out outfits for weddings you would attend. He knew if any of the men in his organization knew the extent of his affection, they'd surely weaponize it against him... Or at the very least, tease him relentlessly. Yet he never cared, knowing you wanted to be loved out loud instead of hidden away in a storage closet; but did care if it meant his enemies could use you to get to him. It was a risk, an occupation hazard for loved ones to become targets, but that only made Bucky so much more protective of you.
Laura glanced at Bucky and saw the fond smile soften to let his teeth trap his bottom lip, smiling at the Mob boss looking soft, content, smitten being there. She knew most boyfriends would never put this much effort into helping their girlfriends in the fashion department, thinking he must've been truly in love to look so at-ease. Plus his enthusiasm through the entire ordeal assured her that Bucky was genuinely enjoying himself.
Once again, you slipped into the blue dress and showed Bucky. He hummed and snapped a photo, asking you to turn this way and that. Then you tried the green dress, him taking another photo, and finally, you changed into the brown satin dress, facing Bucky for his final verdict.
Bucky hummed in contemplation, swiping through the photos. "You know what?" He asked, looking at you with a grin. "You look delectable in everything, I can't decide - so, let's just get them all."
"Bucky, no - "
"We'll take all three, Valeria, please," Bucky interrupted you.
You waited until the attendants left you alone with a knowing look shot in your direction to ring up the desired purchases, hip cocking and hands to your hips. With an underlying exasperation, you questioned, "What the hell, Buck?"
He grinned and stood, again, buttoning his suit jacket, "C'mon, princess, this is fun, right? Being spoiled?." His arms wrapped around your waist, looking down at you as if you hung the very sun that sucked him into your orbit. "What's the point of all my money if I can't spend it on you? Huh?"
"You can save it for a rainy day?"
He shrugged, "Not necessary."
"Maybe pay to send some underprivileged kids to go to college?"
"Well, there's a thought," your boyfriend mused, "but I already do that through the Stark Foundation. I sponsor a few scholarships."
"Okay, well, buying all three still doesn't help me decide what to wear," you chuckled, you mimicked his action and wrapped your arms tightly around the base of his ribs. Due to his height, your head had to tip backwards to meet his eyes with a small smile.
You could look at this gorgeous man all day, everyday if God ever permitted such an act. Why wasn't dating a paid activity? You'd be the top earner with the way you were absolutely enthralled with all Bucky Barnes was. And what an honor it was to earn his mutual adoration.
"We'll figure it out at home. Gotta get you moving in the material to make an honest judgement," he offered softly. "But you look gorgeous in all of them, baby, seriously. Like, drop dead gorgeous that makes every girl brim with jealousy. Shit, doll, you're gonna run the risk of outshining the bride."
You sighed, "Look, Buck, I appreciate what you're doing, but three designer dresses? Where the hell am I ever gonna wear them? What kinda event calls for overpriced fashion statements?"
Buck eased with a soft expression, "Guess I'll just have to take you out so you can put them all to good use, huh?"
"That's not a solution!"
"Is to me," he let a hand drift to roughly palm the meat of your ass cheek over the brown satin; another symptom of him being whipped, his comfort over public displays of affection. "Seriously, doll, how the hell did I get so lucky?"
"Hmm?"
"Just look at you, my girl," he chuckled lightly, "radiant in anything you put on. It's almost unfair, makes me wonder what I did so right to have someone like you I can call my own. I can't wait to show you off in those dresses, just look so Goddamn tantalizing. I mean, damn, baby, I'm gonna have to fight off men with my gun and the jealous women with a stick."
"You do realize we're already dating, you don't have to lay it on so thick."
"And you do realize being with you makes me the luckiest bastard in the city, right? Least I can do is spoil you, I've already got everything else I've ever wanted."
Your heart swelled at his words, sighing gently as your chin rested on his chest to keep your head tilted. Softly, you admitted, "I don't think you're the lucky one, pretty sure the honor's mine. I couldn't ask for anything more in a man - in a partner. I'm so fucking in love with you, Bucky, it honestly doesn't make sense."
He nodded, asking, "Know what else doesn't make sense?"
"What's that?"
"You refusing those dresses, I mean, c'mon!" He laughed, you groaning and releasing your hold; making his tighten to prevent you from escaping. "Those dresses look phenomenal on you, you really gonna reject my gift? C'mon, you know the rules, doll, if you adore her, you Dior her." You were ready to retort, but Bucky smiled, "For the record, I think you should wear the blue dress to the wedding."
"Blue it is," you smiled, lifting onto your toes and hooking a hand around the back of his neck to meet his lips in a scratchy kiss. "Thank you so much, baby," you whispered, feeling his lips spread against yours before he brought you back in for a much-more passionate kiss. "Hm!" You hummed, pulling away to scold, "But no more, all right? You spend too much money on me - I mean, who the hell needs three designer dresses?"
"You do," he whispered, "you deserve all of this, sugar, and I'll do what I can t'spoil you the way you should be. Might as well get used to it, I got no plans on stopping."
Your eyes rolled in good faith, excusing yourself, "Yeah, yeah, all right. Lemme get changed and we can - "
"Nah," he shook his head, petting the skin of your back exposed from the brown satin dress with his fingertips, "know what? Stay in the dress, I wanna take you out and show you off."
Your lips found his in a breath-sucking kiss, trying to convey your appreciation and giddiness over never having been spoiled like this in your entire life - feeling grateful, refreshed, and privileged for a man like Bucky in your life. Whatever greater force there was in this world, you thanked repeatedly for choosing you to love this man and for this man to love you. There was no telling what you did to deserve him, but blessed be those heavenly powers.
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requesting rules and masterlist
MCU masterlist
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hon3y-y · 4 months
Note
your choso has rewired my brain...literally cant stop thinking about popular reader who has a new bf every week x virgin nerd choso who despite his inexperience has every intention to leave you dumb on the end of his cock. He even lets you slap his books down and talk shit about him with your little girlfriends in public, but behind closed doors you're the one crying and begging him hdjsjs definition of 'send her back to her bf w my handprint on her ass' aaaaa and if its a love story, it turns out chosos had the fattest crush on her bc he knows shes actually a sweetie at heart but loves her toxic side too and gives her the best dick until she stops playing around like THE REVERSAL 😭 he would be so sweet in his own way and so loyal and a fucking dog to her lowkey but covers it up with mean words and pussy slaps 🥺
Nerd!choso has a special place in my pants heart😵‍💫
Cw; nastyy smut, filming, infidelity(👀), choso is a little pervy but that’s why we love him🫶, talks of bodily fluids, reader is a lil mean
Enjoy<3
After the first time you fucked, he was extremely a little mad about you dating someone the next day (especially since it was his first time and you knew that) but quickly forgot about it once he had his head between your legs later that night, your mouth babbling nonsense when he sucked a little too hard.
He would purposefully leave hickies on your chest and thighs, smiling cheekily as he watched your shakey legs try to dress yourself. “Don’t look at me that way," you mumbled, your usual attitude gone and replaced with shyness under his intense gaze. Yeah, he didn’t have to worry.
Choso let's you get away with everything. the laughing, the pushing, and the taunts about how “small” he probably is from your friends (to which he nearly smirks when you stiffen slightly). He goes along with all of it and even watches you tongue-fuck your stupid boyfriend, who’s likely one hard hit to the head away from permanent brain damage. But he can’t stay mad; you look so cute trying to be tough. Eyebrows furrowed and a little hiss in your tone, knowing that the moment everyone disappears, you’re nothing but a sobbing mess, begging for him to touch you.
You’re in his room later, bent into a mating press, gasping for air as his cock clumsily batters your g-spot. “Yes—fuck, cho! "Your skin feels so hot, and your mind is so numb. Choso is nearly just as loud, already cumming two times, but watching you made it impossible to pull out. A sticky mess of both your fluids caused gooey strings to form whenever he moved away, the erotic sight making him pull out and reach for his phone. “W-what are you—"
You tried to sit up when the light of a camera flashed in your eyes, making you gasp before he tilted it down, focusing on your pussy. “Look at how wet she is.” He reaches out to touch, making your hips jerk in sensitivity. He plays with your wetness, making your cheeks hot, showing off the substance to the camera before placing his finger on your hole to tap at the new cream that seeped out.
You went to pull your legs closed. "E-enough, Choso." You sent him a glare, making him laugh before leaning down to kiss your cunt. He pointed the camera up to catch your shocked face, and you glanced at it again. “Why are you filming this? I never said—"
You squeal as he nips your clit, immediately shutting up but sending him a harsh glare. He kisses your thigh at your compliance. “Do you really not want me to?” He stared up at you, putting little pecks on your bud, making your breath hitch. You shook your head, ‘no’, “fuck, I don’t care, just make me cum,” you whine, pushing his head down. You jolt up, your eyes widening, when you feel the stinging slap on your pussy.
You’re about to speak when he does it again and again, each hit harder than the previous one, a yelp of surprise escaping you as he forces the light in your eyes again, making you squint. “You’re such a slut, it’s almost pathetic." His harsh words make you pout, mumbling about how mean he is. “I’m mean? Tell the camera why you came here.” You bite your lip, looking away, causing him to grab your chin and force you to look. “I’m not asking.”
It feels humiliating: “He couldn’t make me cum.” Your voice is quiet, but you could practically feel the cocky smile on Choso's face. “Who’s he?” You want to die, shaking your head. He rolled his eyes, tapping on your cheek to signal you to talk. With a sigh, you repeat yourself, “My boyfriend couldn’t make me cum.” Choso mockingly coos behind the camera, his thumb going to rub your swollen bud. “And how many times have you cum since getting here?”
He pans the camera back and forth between your needy pussy and pretty face, your sweaty skin glistening under the intense lighting making his cock impossibly harder. You look so delicate, just helplessly taking the pleasure he gives you because your body needs him so bad. Tears gather in your waterline whenever he applies more pressure, eyes zeroing in on the slick that starts to drip down your ass.
You can’t answer, your jaw hanging open when he quickened his pace. Your chest is heaving as you chanted out ‘please!’ hips thrusting up to meet him until you quickly cum with a shutter, choso slowing but not stopping as you relax again. You look up to the camera with a tired smile, holding up your hands to signal four, your eyes could barely remain open, head flopping back into the pillow. your eyes are getting heavy, nearly having you succumb to sleep when you feel his tip align with your cunt. “Flip over, slut.”
He forces you to film yourself as he pounds into you from behind, crying when he leans down to tug at your sore nipples. He forces your back to arch more, pathetically taking his cock into your swollen pussy. If you drop the camera, he’ll wait until you pick it up again. Or, he’ll snatch it from your hand to catch you desperately rutting against him, begging him to let you cum and “fuck you right." He does just that, leaving you with a fried brain and a puddle of your own drool, tears, and juices from how intensely he made you squirt.
Honestly, he’s so horny and has so much stamina he’ll just keep going until he’s shooting blanks, making sure to point the camera at the cum that leaks out of your puffy cunt, spreading your lips so it can closely get your gaping hole. Of course, after he’s had his fun, he’ll gently take care of you. You’re practically sleeping already, barely being able to speak as he nods along to your near incoherent praise, “S'good t’me. Luv you so much."He smiles, a giddy feeling in his tummy, as he holds a water bottle to your lips, which you gulp down quickly, not realizing how dehydrated you really were. He tucks you in, cuddling as you grip onto him tightly.
It’s not long after that you stop seeing the guy you were with, or any for that matter (at least, according to your friends' knowledge). When they ask what happened, you just shrug, making up some excuse, trying not to stutter as the vibrations in your panties speed up. Choso watches closely, smiling happily as you try to discreetly roll your hips<3
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A/n: I need him so bad it’s getting to me. Also, send request bc writers block is a btch. Mwah💋
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arkhammaid · 4 months
Text
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— ˚₊‧⁺˖ RED BULL GIVES YOU WINGS.
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fandom. formula one
pairing. max verstappen x snowboarder fem!reader (fc: zoi sadowski-synnott)
about. y/n l/n, olympic gold medalist, goes viral after her unusal win. her boyfriend silently cheers from the sidelines
content warnings. social media au, not edited/proofread
notes. i vaguely remember seeing the headlines (years ago) of a teen snowboarder oversleeping because he was watching netflix the night before the race LMAO. so this is kinda the inspiration for that
SKYSPORTS
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liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername, redbull and 3'370'884 others
skysports Gold Medalist @/yourusername had a rough morning during the Winter Olympics, she overslept thanks to a late game night binge with her boyfriend. Yet despite also forgetting her coat, she takes the win by storm, all while flueled by three Red Bull's she had as breakfast.
"When me and my boyfriend sim race, we totally forget the time. It's his passion and I like to challenge him in something he thinks he's best in. I think it was 3am when I finally went to bed, luckily I found a some cans of Red Bull. You can also thank my boyfriend for that, he drinks that sh*t as if it's water."
Y/n takes the whole incident with stride, jokingly saying that she will have to repeat this routine if she wants to win gold the next time.
user SIM RACING WITH HER BOYFRIEND???
⤷ user don't know if we should thank him or not
⤷ user you'll probably never be able to thank him, y/n and her bf have been together for years now but she never revealed who it is
⤷ user does she even have a boyfriend??
⤷ user check her insta, she's been posting the same man for a long time now
user SHE'S SO FUCKING UNSERIOUS I LOVE THAT
user she's literally the definition of genz
user i don't care what anyone else says, this right here is queen shit behavior
⤷ user i crown thee, y/n l/n, to the queen of whatever this whole mess is
redbull See! Red Bull gives you wings, we take no longer any criticsm
⤷ user you better sign her up
⤷ user imagine she actually lands a red bull sponsorship just because of this
yourusername lol, that was fun
⤷ user LOL???
⤷ user i can't do this anymore 😭😭
maxverstappen1 👏👏
⤷ user MAX?!
⤷ user game recognizes game fr
user i don't know what's better. the camera catching her downing her third red bull right before the race or her cursing after she won
⤷ user meme of the year fr
YOURUSERNAME
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liked by maxverstappen1, redbull and 1'552'082 others
yourusername happy to announce that i'm flying with @/redbull now! if one red bull doesn't work, try three. i won gold with it 😉
user SHE DID IT!!! Y/N NATION WE WON!!!
⤷ user now only the x games left
user can't wait for the insane promo shots
⤷ user bet she will do tricks from a cliff, right after drinking four red bulls
⤷ user straight from the skilift is my bet
redbull Proof that Red Bull gives you wings! Welcome to the family y/n ❤️💙
⤷ yourusername ❤️💙
user ahh the bigs smile makes me so happy, she deserves it
maxverstappen1 Welcome to the winners
⤷ yourusername thank you champ, i'll enjoy my stay!
user MAX LIKED AND COMMENTED
⤷ user MAXY/N NATION WE WON TODAY‼️‼️
⤷ user can we not pls... she has a bf
mathilde_gremaud welcome to the team y/n, so happy to see you here!!
⤷ yourusername thank you 😚
user i love red bull athletes welcoming newcomers
⤷ user a big family fr
⤷ user big and batshit crazy
⤷ user never said they're not lol
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YOURUSERNAME
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liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 2'003'863 others
yourusername the moment this trophy comes in our home i will throw it off the balcony. how dare you not kiss ME when you won your fourth world championship?!
all jokes aside, maxie, i'm so fucking proud of you, my #1 racer, my favorite dutchman and cat dad 🫶 to many more years of red bull domination (max and y/n version) love you sm!!
maxverstappen1 You will not touch my trophy.
maxverstappen1 Don't worry, I'll kiss you until you're sick of me
⤷ yourusername impossible!!!
⤷ user STOP THIS
⤷ user ew, that's sickening sweet (pls don't stop you guys are the sweetest)
maxverstappen1 I love you too, schatje
⤷ yourusername i love you more
⤷ maxverstappen1 Not possible? 🤨
⤷ landonorris okay we got it, you both love each other stop this shit
⤷ yourusername @/landonorris get out of my comments if you don't like it norizz
⤷ user WHEN IS IT MY TURN??
⤷ user not lando catching strays 😭
user IT HAS BEEN MAX ALL ALONG???
⤷ user five years of softlaunching... only for us to be hit by the biggest hard launch of the decade
redbull The Red Bull Powercouple™️
⤷ user simply lovely!
landonorris fucking finally! now max can bother someone else with his yapping
⤷ yourusername max doesn't do yapping, he just loves talking about me🫶
⤷ landonorris well, i got sick of it!! i literally should've ruined your softlaunch and tell the press about you guys
⤷ maxverstappen1 That's not what a friend would do
⤷ user HOW DID LANDO KEEP THIS SECRET FOR SO LONG??
⤷ user i bet y/n threatened him with violence
⤷ landonorris she did.
⤷ user HELP?!
user if max can comment on his girlfriend's post like a sap WHY CAN'T OTHER MEN AS WELL??
⤷ user they will never be max verstappen...
user brb, the highway is calling me
user con 😭 gra 😭 tu 😭 la 😭 tions 😭😭😭
⤷ user the bf was real... i fear i'm not strong enough to fight him for mother y/n...
⤷ user at least she's happy!!! (i'm actually crying my parasocial relationship is officially over)
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taglist. @keyz-writes , @obsidianjewel , @aimixx , @themercyverse , @lem-hhn , @lupicalbestwolf , @akiraquote , @lilypadlover , @adorablezhui , @peqch-pie
DO YOU WANT TO JOIN THE TAGLIST? please send a non-anon ask to be added to the taglist. taglist can be general taglist (all fandoms and all works), fandom taglist (all works within the fandom), series (all works for specific series) or nsfw taglist (all nsfw works and all fandoms).
crossed off tags mean i can't tag you!
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ARKHAM MAID 2024
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deadghosy · 4 months
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Okay, I saw the part in the noob!reader post about Kirby. I love Kirby and would love a Kirby!reader in hazbin hotel. Like how he is cute but can consume worlds and everyone is just like *pikachu shocked face*, same with him being able to pull out random weapons from his abilities. I can imagine he got there from a new weird portal and meta knight is like “where is he NOW?”.
Kirby is a being of chaos and I love him ❤️
I ALSO LOVE KIRBBY I WAS A BIG KIRBY KIN💗💗 🦆
HAZBIN HOTEL X KIRBY! READER
prompt: you lost the sight of your best friend only to be somewhere completely different.
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Meta knight was walking ahead of you as you picked up flowers with your cute smile. “Poyo!” You said smiling ready to show meta knight your flowers you picked up into a bouquet. 
When all of a sudden, you were getting pulled into a red portal as you screamed out to meta knight who seemed to be in his own world.
“POYO! POYO!” You then get sucked in as meta knight turns to see nothing. “Reader/Kirby?…..where is he NOW!” Meta knight exclaims, his accent thickening in worry as he runs around the area calling out your name.
Meta was basically that Brandon rogers meme when he lost his “child” 😭
You swirl in the portal to get thrown out and roll into the feet of a person. “Oh my! Are you okay sweetie?” The sweet voice says as she picks you up. Charlie looked worry seeing you dizzy. “Poyoo..” you said with a dazed out look from your trip of the portal.
Charlie took you in her hotel, getting you water and suited to rest as vaggie checks up. After 24 hours, they kept you as you became part of the hotel staff.
I headcannon you once accidentally swallowed Angel because you saw him as a regular spider. You literally transformed into his color palette before Charlie made you cough him up.
Angel was so traumatized 😭
I imagine you literally almost ending hell’s population by yourself cause you were hungry..you dead ass ran through the streets eating random shit. Thank goodness Lucifer picked you up and ran.
You once walked into Lucifer brain storming and he saw you…he immediately had a new idea for his duck creation. He made you stay in his room until Charlie said it was your bed time.
Vaggie always keep tabs on you so you don’t cause trouble around the pride ring and the hotel.
IMAGINE HOW YOU LITERALLY ATE A BUILDING…A FUCKING BUILDING AND HUSK WHO TOOK YOU FOR A ERRAND STROLL WAS LIKE
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The egg boiz
Nahh cause you definitely had swallowed up the egg boiz to have a egg shell around you to hide in the egg shell like an ability.
Sir Pentious is always scared of the fact of you just eating him. But you don’t cause you literally get fed chips by the bar. So Pentious calms down and lets you have some time with him
Lucifer would probably make you inhale one of his rubber ducks so you can have a duck beak and wings just so he can chase you around with heart eyes excited that his hyperfixation became real
You have a duck hat and a duck pj set. ALSO WITH AN APPLE THEME SET WHICH IS FAMOUS IN MORNINGSTAR FAMILY ❤️❤️
I can see you always following Alastor like the egg boiz did in “scrambled eggs” 😭 except you just waddle beside him cutely
“Poyoooo… poyoooo..” you said softly as you tug on Alastor’s pant leg. Alastor looks down slightly entertained by your language and gesture for him to look at you.
“Well aren’t you an eager little thing…” alastor says picking you up and taking you to show Rosie his new found friend.
Husk once
STOP IT CAUSE WHAT IF YOU INHALED A KNIFE AND EQUIPPED IT ONLY YOU BE THAT FUCKIN MEME WITH KIRBY HOLDING A KNIFE😭😭
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YOU WOULD STAB SOMEONE’S TOES AND KNEES YOU ABSOLUTE MENACE!!‼️
You definitely stood outside of the Vee’s tower holding the knife with a smile as Valentino looks so scared closing his curtains.
#justiceforangeldust
Angel dust loves you to the point he might adopt you as a sibling since you are pink like him.
Charlie and vaggie are the parents who maintain what you eat and sleep. Dead as you were gonna eat a butterfly when vaggie picked you up like “NOPE! NOT TODAY!” And took you inside for the rest of the time-
See I can personally just imagine that Kirby gif where Kirby eats the whole ass meal on the table. So imagine the crew’s face seeing you do that shit 😭
I can see you getting on fat nuggets and just start to ride fat nuggets like a cowboy 😭💗
Angel definitely recorded it as you just smile while fat nuggets runs around the hotel freely.
I headcannon you bought a bunch a flowers for the crew and the was so adorable how you just picked each flower matching the cast’s colors
Imagine you just watching a hell cartoon and Vox is like “kill them! Kill your entire family” as you jolted shocked and cry at the scary tv man
Niffty once fed you dust particles thinking it wouldn’t affect you…it did cause you coughed and got sick. Niffty cried, not thinking it would harm you as she sniffles giving you soup in your room.
Niffty was banned from making lunch for you😭
Alastor be trying to troll you into eating cannibal meat, like dead ass he would make you a sandwich with “turkey” meat. But you could already smell THE MUSSTTT 🤮
So he failed with that mission. But at least you like his radio station and his jazz music.
Charlie brought you to her meeting with the first man so she can feel comfortable as you are kinda like her service animal.
Adam actually would like you cause you love to eat endlessly and you are pick up size. This mf will literally pick you up with one hand and dribble you like a basketball or treat you like a damn football💀
“Hey lute! Go long!” “Yes sir!” Lute replies back as she moves back far. Adam launches you making you scream as lute flies up and catches you.
“GOALLLL! FUCK YEAH!” Lute says accidentally throwing you off of the cloud floor they were on. “LUTE WTF?!” Adam yells looking at you fall before a portal had eaten you up. “Well damnit…I was gonna miss that lil pink shit.” Adam says before walking away with lute close behind him
Meta knight is back at home was tweaking out as he literally sobs eating with a picture of you on the table. He misses you deeply as he stares at the photo before looking down. “My friennnd…” he says with a sniffle as he covers his face.
Good ending was that you plopped down on the table from the portal as meta immediately hugs you as you smiled happily, showing him the flowers. You guys ate dinner happily!
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inkskinned · 11 months
Text
you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.
you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.
he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.
a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.
he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.
you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.
people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.
wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.
also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.
he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."
you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.
"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."
he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.
you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.
is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?
you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.
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