#and the impact that I as another queer woman can have by bringing this part of her into the broader discussion

[sassmill]

I asked “are you okay with me introducing your queerness into the museum’s official narrative? Is that term alright with you? Does it resonate with your experience when you lived?” And these cards all came flying out of the deck. Lizzo’s “about damn time” came into my head right when the three of wands came out, too. I feel like I’m going to start crying.

[munsonkitten]

cw: sexual discussions, gender dysphoria (trans Eddie Munson pov), virgin Eddie, mentions of period typical transphobia and homophobia

It comes as a bit of a surprise, when Steve comes out to Eddie as gay. Even more of a surprise when Steve follows it up with and I’m attracted to you. Eddie has to remind him, with clenched teeth, bracing for the impact of rejection, that he doesn’t have the parts Steve wants. 

“You think I care what’s in your pants, man? You’re hot, either way. I’m just saying, like, I’d fuck you,” Steve says, blowing smoke into the air in front of him. He’s sitting against the side of Eddie’s bed, hogging the joint Eddie rolled for them both. “I’m also, like, really fucking high. So forget I said all that.”

Eddie reaches over the edge of his bed and snatches the joint back before Steve can bring it to his mouth again. 

He takes a hit, letting the smoke fill his lungs while he ruminates on, well, all of that. 

“You sure you’re gay?” Eddie asks, settling on that question first. He winces as he says it, his own internal hangups taking hold of him. He knows he’s a man, there’s no doubt about that. He’s been validated to hell and back by Wayne, a bunch of older queers Wayne is friends with, and the one doctor in the state of Indiana that has shown him any kind of compassion. 

He just knows how other people are. How, despite him knowing who he is, a lot of people just see him for his cunt and his tits. Well, not like he has much of his tits left, not after the demobats performed a botched mastectomy on him and left him with one and a half breasts. The doctors that put him back together wouldn’t remove the rest. He knows that Steve could just be getting some wires crossed — yes, he could be attracted to Eddie, but Eddie has to ask if it’s really because he’s into men and sees Eddie as a man, or if… If it’s the alternative. 

“Pretty sure, man,” Steve answers. He tilts his head back over the edge of the bed and looks at Eddie, where he’s lying against his pillows. “Like, I don’t think about,” he waves vaguely at Eddie’s body, and Eddie knows he’s being careful, like he can’t just talk about him without overthinking each word. “I think about, like, how you pinned me to a wall with a bottle to my throat and I think about how you hotwired that RV. I was definitely into you during both of those things, and I had no idea about, you know.”

And that’s true. Eddie’s been hiding it pretty good since he moved to town. Buzzed his head in his bathroom the day his dad got arrested. Had a pretty good feeling his pops wasn’t coming back from this one before he even left. Usually he took Eddie along with him, but that final time he left him with a pile of change and a phone number and told him to call Wayne if he wasn’t back by the next afternoon.

Wayne took one look at him when he showed up, asked him about the buzzcut, asked him what name he was going by these days, and then took him to meet some friends. Didn’t even have time to meet any other kids before he started getting tips from an older trans man that Wayne met years back. Since then, Eddie kept his head down, his chest bound, and never uttered a sound until he got on testosterone and his voice started to deepen and crack along with all the other boys. 

“Okay, well now you do know, so,” Eddie points out. He shrugs, takes another hit and then passes the joint back down to Steve. “You’d really fuck me? Pussy and all?”

“I mean, I’ve got experience with it,” Steve says. “I just don’t like women, is all. You’re not a woman.”

Eddie doesn’t really get it. How Steve can go from Hawkins’ biggest lady killer to lounging on Eddie the freak Munson’s dingy bedroom floor saying he doesn’t like ladies at all. Steve Harrington, who, and it’s no secret, called Jonathan Byers a queer a few years ago and laughed when his slimy friends called other boys fags. Yet here he is, saying that Eddie’s a man. So much of a man that Steve says he’s gay and wants to fuck him in the same breath.

It doesn’t make any fucking sense. 

“What about you?” Steve asks. “Would you?”

“Would I what?”

“Fuck me,” Steve clarifies. “Want to get fucked by me. I mean, hey if you’ve got a dick laying around, I’d let you put it in me, too. I don’t think I’m picky.”

Eddie sighs, dropping his head down to his pillow. This is where it gets tricky. Yeah, he’d have sex with Steve Harrington. Who wouldn’t? But as much experience as Steve has with pussy, Eddie’s a pussy with no experience. Other than a few drunken kisses in dark clubs eighty miles from home, he’s completely terrified of putting himself out there, and honestly for good reason too. 

Being gay in this town is hard enough, but if anyone finds out he’s trans, he’s fucking done for. It was scary enough realizing Steve knows, and he didn’t even have a choice in Steve finding out. Next time he tries to die, he’s gonna make sure he gets to a hospital instead of getting his clothes cut off on Steve’s parents’ bathroom floor. 

But yeah, Steve knows, and there’s no more risk of him finding out, and that’s pretty much the main reason Eddie hasn’t had sex with anyone, so. 

“Yeah, I guess,” he answers. 

“Cool,” Steve whispers. 

And that’s it. That’s all the conversation is. 

Steve crawls into Eddie’s bed and curls up beside him like they always do when he sleeps over, and he takes the joint from Eddie to take one last hit. He reaches over Eddie to put it in the ashtray and then lays back down.

“So, um,” Eddie says. Because he’s confused. He thought Steve was coming onto him. He thought this was a precursor for Steve coming in him. 

“What’s up?” Steve asks lazily, voice catching on a yawn. 

“Well, I’m glad we established all that, but, like… Are we not going to…?”

“What? Oh, no. I’m way too high,” Steve whispers, turning his face into Eddie’s shoulder. “Another time?”

Eddie laughs because he has no idea how his life became this. 

“Sure,” Eddie agrees. “Another time.”

Steve sits up, presses a loud, smacking kiss to Eddie’s temple, and then drops his head back down. He turns his face in toward Eddie’s neck, arm finding its place around Eddie’s waist. Eddie can’t see his face, but he thinks Steve’s pleased smile might just match his own. 

Read More on AO3

[soloorganaas]

I know you are anti Remadora so ignore this question if you don't feel like addressing this topic but I saw you talking about them before so I figured it might be OK to ask. How would you feel about an AU version where they get together under very different circumstances, when they are both ready, and there is no pressure, no emotional manipulation, no rushing into things, etc.? So I guess my question is: do you hate Remadora period or do you hate the way their relationship was written in canon? Because for me it's the latter, and I can't ship it if it's canon compliant but I love Remus and Tonks as individuals, and although I ship Wolfstar too, I think there is great potential in their dynamic. It's a straight presenting relationship but in my head they're both queer and I think that's important to note, too.

this is a great question i got back in december, wrote half an essay for, then left in my drafts. i was reminded by the chaos discord of it so dug it out, finished the essay and voila. so i hope you follow me anon and get to enjoy my response to your question

tl;dr - i would never want to read remus and tonks together because remus is gay. gay identity and history is central to his characterisation, as is his relationship with sirius. remus's meaning and impact comes from that, and it's both a beautiful and sad story that resonates with so many gay people

jkr forced his relationship with tonks into being deliberately to try and erase remus's gay identity. she didn't write a meaningful loving relationship with a woman that would have characterised him as bisexual. if she had, then that relationship wouldn't have made remus 'less gay'. it would have been another facet woven in with a broader queer identity. but she didn't. remus did not want to be with tonks, and he was miserable the entire time. he was manipulated into being with her by the bastion of the cishet nuclear family molly weasley, and was only finally happy when he had a son and finally fitted the traditional family friendly cishet mold and said goodbye to his gayness forever

so a story with remus and tonks erases remus's gay identity because it's portraying him as something that he isn't and it plays into the homophobia of jkr in writing it to start with

i have ✨ expanded ✨ on this below with three main points:

1. remus is gay

2. gay history and identity is central to remus's characterisation

3. remus’s story is defined by his relationship with sirius

remus’s sexuality

the biggest question of all is whether remus is into women or not. I don’t think there’s an argument that he is based on his relationship with tonks. this is obviously a subject that can be talked about in great depth, but the key point is that he doesn’t show any interest in her, rejects her again and again, and is miserable when they're married. there’s nothing to indicate any romantic feelings or sexual attraction on his part, any desire to be emotionally or physically intimate, any sense that she understands him in a deep and unique way, or really that she brings him any joy

beyond tonks, I think he’s characterised as not into women generally. he never performs/acts/presents himself in any way for the female gaze - it’s not just about not actively trying to attract women, there is literally no way in which he ever acts like he seems concerned with what women think or passively adopts traits to please them. he also doesn’t have any intense relationships with women that we know of, or any moments of chemistry or tension with women. all of his intense feelings and interactions are with men. all of this is characteristic of the experience of being a gay person

the centrality of gay identity and history to remus's story

remus’s life encapsulates the loneliness and hardship of being gay in the 70s/80s/90s. the marginalisation, the secrecy, the danger of being found out, the suspicion. he is a character constantly carrying a Big Secret, and he’s shaped himself to develop layers of self-control, discretion and manipulation that keep any potentially revealing emotions or personal details safely hidden. he goes out of his way to avoid visibly making trouble or raising his head above the parapet, to present himself as perfectly respectable, which was (and often still is) a fundamental part of existing as gay in a homophobic society, to counter any perceptions of being a predator or untrustworthy or abnormal

and it is a deliberate performance, bc we know quite clearly how much trouble he’s making under the surface - he hides the knowledge of padfoot and the map from dumbledore, he revels in gaslighting snape when he finds the map on harry, his first action when he sees peter and sirius on the map is not to inform the authorities, but to run to them himself and keep it a secret. he’s a mischievous, deviant, sarcastic, often morally grey troublemaker, but no one for a second (except sirius) would ever see that in him

but despite all remus's attempts at respectability, he still is marginalised. he’s fundamentally seen as a dangerous freak, someone who shouldn’t be allowed near children or polite society lest he corrupt them, which is such a metaphor for homophobia (and esp against gay men) it punches you in the face. he’s trapped in poverty despite his education and assumed family wealth and is forced to rely on others for financial security. like so many other gay people throughout history his safety entirely comes from his community, bc he can’t rely on any institutional support - and when it disappears, as it does in 1981, he’s left poor, unsafe and adrift

and then there’s sirius

sirius and remus

remus's entire life from when he joins hogwarts to when he dies is shaped by sirius

he goes from a lonely, marginalised boy to someone loved and valued by his friends, to the point they perform incredibly dangerous and illegal magic just to try and reach him in the aspect of his life that's most painful and isolating. this is largely due to sirius and james. there's not much we know about remus's relationship then with sirius specifically, other than that sirius was both affectionately teasing and affectionately rude towards him (from swm). the rest is extrapolation from how close they are as adults. but the story that we do get is one that wouldn’t exist without sirius

remus then spends thirteen years tortured by the knowledge of what sirius has done that he still can't quite accept, as well as the knowledge of what sirius is going through as the a prisoner in azkaban. he doesn't ever come close to moving on - he loses his shit every time harry brings up sirius; he questions whether sirius, despite being an alleged mass murderer, really deserves azkaban; he is incredibly stressed and anxious to the point of noticeably losing weight the entirety of PoA, which is not just down to lycanthrophy. his entire mental state (and to an extent his physical one) is dictated by sirius

then the moment there's even a hint that sirius might not have committed the crimes alleged remus drops everything and runs. he faces sirius for the first time in thirteen years and believes him instantly. he's at sirius's side defending him and working with him with an astonishing amount of trust for someone he thought (at least partially) was guilty not an hour before. that's a mark of how deep his love and devotion goes, and how much he was simply waiting around for sirius all those years

we have no idea what remus does in GoF, but we do know by OotP he once again drops everything for sirius and moves into an absolutely miserable house to live alongside him. there's no reason for him to be there other than sirius (no one else in the order needs to live there, after all). every scene he's in, every bit of dialogue in that book is related to sirius. when he's saying goodbye to harry after christmas his advice is a subtle reference to sirius. they give harry a joint christmas present, they take care of him together. they exist entirely as partners

after sirius dies, remus completely falls apart. every time we see him through harry's eyes he's worse and worse. by the christmas of harry's sixth year remus is referring to werewolf tribes murdering humans for fun as his 'equals' and has clearly lost all sense of self-worth or reason for being. he's such a wreck he's emotionally manipulated into marrying a woman he doesn't want to and then is an absolutely terrible husband the entire time. even when his son is born, he's still acting thinking of sirius - he asks harry to be teddy's godfather, emulating the example sirius set

remus is who he is because of his relationship with sirius, one that is far, far too intense to be just platonic

conclusion

there is no way i, personally, would ever be comfortable with a remadora relationship. even if they were similar ages or got to know each other in a different context, it still wouldn't be realistic. remus is gay, that entire relationship came about with the intention to straight wash him. putting him together with any woman bothers me, but putting him together with tonks specifically upsets me because of the homophobic background for why that relationship even exists in canon

there are a lot of relationships we can quibble about as to whether they work or not, and that's fair. remadora is one of them. but the extra layer of jkr's homophobia in forcing them together can't be separated from that discussion. some people may view their relationship as meaningful in spite of that. that's fine, we're all entitled to our own headcanons. it's not mine, and there is no story i want to read where remus is with tonks. there's no story i want to read where he isn't gay, full stop

[prettycottonmouthlamia]

When I was in college, I wasn't the quote unquote perfect activist. I am definitely not immune to making mistakes, especially in the heat of emotional moments. But...let's talk about my experiences for a moment.

-During my first semester of college I joined my university's local PRIDE club. I suggest that we do some sort of clothing drive, and have a place where anyone can give or take clothing. The intent of this was obvious and person: I came from family who either did not really understand my transness or actively disapproved of it and didn't have an income. I could not be the only one. We should be helpful in this way, to our trans brothers and sisters.

Sometime later, someone suggests changing the clothing drive into a clothing sale to fund their Drag Ball. PRIDE under that semester's leadership never does a clothing drive. My vision would not be completed until a couple of semesters later, working with my university's LGBT Center, and working loosely with PRIDE's new management.

-The one thing I failed to notice coming into PRIDE was that I couldn't find other trans women. That didn't bother me, and I was fairly popular early on. This was until someone else came out as a transgender woman. Initially I was happy to have another trans woman as a friend, but I very quickly began to notice the social effect. They were shorter, smaller, and more femme. Their social transition progressed much faster than mine, because they weren't poor. They regularly got many clothes from their friends in PRIDE, even as discussions occurred about a clothing drive. I got nothing. I was being outfemmed.

-I noticed the uplifting of drag performers and drag stars by many of my cis and nonbinary peers in the group. I often asked myself why this happened. For some of these people, drag was almost a lifestyle. The performance of hyper-femininity by someone who was AMAB in the context of a drag show was met with cheers, applause, fandom. Meanwhile, my displays of my own femininity were met with nothing. Those same people never complimented me.

-The president of PRIDE gave a presentation on the history of drag. They mentioned Ru Paul, but handwaved away their trans-misogynistic comments, saying they were unimportant.

-A considerable amount of time later, our LGBT Center did a wide survey of queer people on campus. Some responses by cis lesbians bemoaned a lack of lesbian support groups, and more importantly, that they didn't feel like they ever saw anyone that looked like them at the center. I object to this finding, because I myself am a lesbian, I am what they are looking for and am always at the center. I bring up the possibility that the comment may be transphobic. I am shot down. I was denying other people's feelings. I was a trans woman, not a lesbian.

-A dear friend of mine suggests doing a PRIDE event about learning how to do make-up. This is something I was in great support of, because I did not like the extent trans women were expected in a very short span of time to grasp all the complexities of the role of woman in today's society, when cis women get so much longer. What will not be included is tutorials of using make-up to cover facial hair follicles. They did not want to focus on tutorials about passing. I protest, in part because the darkness of my follicles is something I'm very self-conscious of, and that passing in itself is something that a lot of trans woman want. The make-up event never happens.

-A trans woman is talking about her transition experience. She is notably well off and has gotten a variety of surgeries. She explains this is ultimately the path that all trans women need to take, unless they end up looking like "fishy boys". This notably impacts my friend in a severe way.

-A series of hate crimes strikes campus rapidly. Someone spray-paints the "N" word on one of the school buildings, while conversion therapy pamphlets are deliberately left in classrooms teaching about LGBT subjects. Campus police do not care to investigate. PRIDE and BSU being to work collaboratively on a protest. The atmosphere is very good, there are a variety of different but very good conversations, and both groups work well on various tasks that were planned. The protest does not focus on what happened to LGBT students. Members of the LGBT Center and of PRIDE did not speak. We, who had been working hand and hand, were reduced to a footnote and a one-liner in a chant.

-While asking for more information about the investigation into both of these incidents, myself, the Title 9 administrator, and one of my coworkers, a black queer woman, are invited to a meeting with the VP of Student Affairs and the detective on the case. None of us were made aware of the presence of the chief of police nor of a third officer whose purpose was unknown. These investigations would never result in anything.

-In the issue of the school newspaper that reported on the hate crimes, included as well along side of it was a story about how conservatives felt like they were being silenced on campus.

-When I first went to college, I went to Housing to discuss the possibility of gender neutral housing, which they have on their website. I am told there is none, but they can make an accommodation by giving myself my own dorm room on the men's floor. I had been unable to transition before this point because of living with religious conservative family members. I am told that if I want to have a room on the women's floor, where I would have a more private showering area that was not a public shower with other men, that I would need the gender on my birth certificate changed.

Both of these were lies.

-I have a discussion with my mother about her continuing to deadname me, noting that I did not want to end up confusing my niece once she became old enough to remember my name. This does not change.

This is just, the experiences that I can recall while writing this post. It is not an exhaustive list. Discussing school administrations chronic underfunding of the LGBT Center and the resulting drama that caused over years would be an entirely new post. There's possibly even more stuff that I've simply just fucking forgotten over the years. It wasn't all bad. I met some truly incredible people and did some truly incredible things.

But there was bad. Some of it was general, but a lot of it was trans misogynistic, even if I don't think it was always intentional. A lot of these experiences changed me into the jaded bitch I am today on a lot of issues.

[triptychgrip]

I'm part of a Reddit community (r/CPTSD) that is a forum for folks with and/or adjacent to Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to openly discuss and share their personal experiences or general observations around the topic, and offer support and solidarity to one another. Over the last two months, I've noted a very disturbing trend in this sub that I had to call out.

Ever since the 2023 Palestinian genocide has been underway (and yes it IS a genocide, I'm not interested in debating that), ppl in this Reddit community have been (very understandably) posting about how they are horrified around the inarguable CPTSD that many Palestinian children have been developing/will likely have to shoulder as a result of the near-constant strife/warfare from the very moment they've been alive. I myself posted something like this fairly early on after hearing of the Israeli government's initial aggressions. 

Inevitably, EVERY SINGLE TIME that someone makes a post like this in that community, others will respond with something to the effect of "why can't we avoid politics in this sub?" or "I don't see how this is related to CPTSD, can the mods do something about posts like this?" and I just...

aljfkadjsfkasjdfjkdsj!!!!!

Honestly, it's enraging. Like it or not, EVERYTHING is political, because politics/public policy decisions (whether on a local scale, global scale, or somewhere in between) govern most parts of our lives. 

I don't understand the cognitive dissonance at all. How can one who is part of a community that is dedicated to supporting/educating around the lifelong impacts of CPTSD reject people for wanting to seek solace/solidarity around the fact that these children will have to suffer their entire lives because of the Israeli government's actions (not just, of course, over the last few months, but over the last several decades)? 

The fact that Palestinian children do experience/will continue to experience abnormal development of their neural pathways/brain chemistry due to prolonged and acute trauma is inarguable.

So, when I see ppl in this subreddit saying things like this, to me it reads: "Oh, I'm fine with people posting about CPTSD as long as that post doesn't make me, personally feel uncomfortable, or remind me, personally of the large-scale atrocity currently going on". 

Palestinian children don't get to opt out of developing CPTSD, so I don't see why ppl in that community should get to opt out of seeing posts that are meant to (as the sub intends) bring awareness/educate/offer comfort and support to others. 

As an aside, this Reddit community in general has a definite problem when it comes to matters of social justice and, particularly, racial justice. As a queer, disabled, woman of color, I've long since realized that it's not a truly safe space, and have started to be more active, instead, in the r/cptsd_bipoc Reddit community instead. I've never once seen similar pleas for "apolitical posts only!" in that community, thankfully.

[agentbeeswrites]

It's been quite a weekend, y'all. It kind of feels like pride in a big city where it's treated like a queer holiday. Happy Bees Kiss Weekend.

Now that I have a minute, I'd like to bring up my Ruby theory. It's a little long, and yes, it has pictures!

So back in episode 5, Ruby met the Blacksmith.

They have this exchange:

Blacksmith: You seem to be carrying a rather large burden with you. Ruby: I'm fine. I can handle it. Blacksmith: If you change your mind, you may choose any one of these you like and set your burden down. Ruby: I already have a weapon. I did. Blacksmith: And yet, here you are: searching for something else that you do not even know.

I initially thought that Ruby's burden was the war with Salem to save the world, but it wasn't until something was referenced three times, over this and the 6th episode, that I changed my mind.

While talking with the Blacksmith, Ruby noticed a weapon. It drew her in. The design was similar to Crescent Rose, but with a much older sensibility - an old hunting rifle instead of a sniper rifle, and a large axe head instead of a scythe.

Then she looks closer and sees Summer reflected in the blade.

I immediately thought that was Summer Rose's weapon. Or is it? This looks like something a Woodsman would carry. There's a theory that Summer could be the Woodsman in the Ever After.

I find it more likely that weapon belonged to the Woodsman (whoever that is) than it being the one Summer had in Remanent because it bears too much resemblance to Qrow's weapon. I've never seen a squad from a huntsman school have two people with the same weapon type.

With only four episodes left, I'm not even sure that the Huntsman is going to be Summer.

But Summer is important.

Summer is the burden that Ruby must put down.

She comes up again when Ruby, desperate to get the last ingredient that will return her friends to normal, offers one of the last precious items she has left: the rose pin from Summer. "A mother's promise."

The more she gives, the more she feels lost.

Summer comes up again in the next episode when they're caught at the crossroads.

But Ruby doesn't even notice. She's carried the weight of Summer's legacy her entire life. She doesn't know what it would feel like to not have it.

As a child, she was raised on fairy tales, stories of adventures and heroes, and the story of Summer Rose. She was supermom: baker of cookies and slayer of giant monsters. The stories of her adventures turned into legends of their own. I'm sure that Tai told them often as a way to remember her and Yang reiterated them to Ruby.

Ruby is the only one to carry her name.

She made becoming a huntress her life's goal. Part of it was because she wanted to have an impact on people's lives and do good, but part of it was also to be a hero like in the legends she grew up with. Like the fairy tales. Like Summer Rose who gave her life to protect people.

Ruby obviously has a personality outside of being a huntress, so this isn't a case of it being her one defining characteristic. But a lot of her life has been shaped by Summer: her understanding that life can be short, that people die, that huntsman are the heroes who protect people and do the hard work that keep people safe. That there's a need for that work because the world can be violent and deadly.

That there was a woman who died doing that work and was revered like a saint by her family.

Ruby planned on applying to Beacon before Ozpin scooped her up for early admission. She probably wanted to lead a team just like her mom did in her Beacon years.

Who is Ruby going to be when she puts down the burden of her mother's legacy?

I think that Ruby is going to be given some choices. One will be to go home as she is, lost and broken. Another will be to stay in the Ever After and get wiped. Find a new purpose.

The Blacksmith has offered her the third option: put down her burden and choose a new weapon. A different way of fighting.

Reforge yourself into who you need to be, Ruby. It's the only path forward.

[historyhermann]

Kizuna no Allele Season 2 Spoiler-Filled Review

Kizuna no Allele is an idolish music series directed by Kenichiro Komaya. Wit Studio and Signal.MD produce the series. Deko Akao wrote the show's scripts. The first season/cour aired from April to June 2023.

Reprinted from Pop Culture Maniacs and Wayback Machine. This was the sixty-third article I wrote for Pop Culture Maniacs. This post was originally published on Jan. 20, 2024.

The twelve-episode second season/cour begins with a lively opening. It continues to center around five individuals: Miracle (voiced by Ayumi Hinohara), Noelle (voiced by Yuka Nukui), Riz (voiced by Arisa Hanawa), Chris (voiced by Hikari Codama), and Quan (voiced by Rina Kawaguchi). All five go to Artist Garden (Aden) Academy. They team up as PathTLive, planning to beat their fellow students so they can enter the Virtual Grid Awards (VGA), representing the academy. However, they encounter bumps along the way.

This crops up in the first episode of this season. Miracle is impressed by another group, BRT5. At the same time, Quan's issues with self-confidence come to the surface. For one, she falsely believes that Miracle was only "being nice" to her and that she is weak, which is bringing down the group as a whole. To make matters worse, a dark-skinned character, Sofia (voiced by Yūna Kitahara), tries to recruit Chris, who growls with her, and believes Sofia is dangerous. More specifically, she sees Sofia as taking Miracle away from her, and is clearly jealous. Its one manifestation of the yuri subtext in this series. PathTLive's competitors include Zoe, Ximena, Halle, Jessie, Sarah, Ellie, and Niska, each in their own groups. This episode concludes, after Miracle's strategy is shot down and everyone wants to collaborate with artists other than Miracle, with Quan being recruited by BRT5.

Surely, there are VTuberesque post-credits scenes, intended on making the characters more personable, and a new ending sequence. Even so, Kizuna no Allele is still not my favorite, by a long shot. Despite that, it has some good parts. The series excelled in depicting Quan's struggles, insecurities, and self-doubt. She goes from not wanting to hold back the group to singing along with fellow BRT5 bandmates. She resolves to stay so she can surpass them.

At the same time, she remains friendly with Miracle in real-life. The reason for this is simple: she wants to walk by Miracle's side. She doesn't want others shining the light on her. She wants to shine the light on herself. Instead, she wants to be a "shine post" of sorts akin to characters in the Shine Post anime. Possibly, Quan is written as a positive portrayal of a trans or non binary person. This is clear, in some ways, to the viewer.

Miracle is deeply impacted by Quan's revelation of her real intentions and that the person in the atrium is herself in the real world. Miracle is upset, confused, and unsure what is going on. She meets Niska (voiced by Yūri Matsuoka), a woman who was part of BRT5, in a secluded cabin. Niska tells her that she should come back anytime she feels lost. Quan's suffering and struggling is somewhat equivalent to those having issues coming-out as queer. Quan grows a lot in the series. She goes from a shy and nervous person to a more self-confident woman fighting for a light that is hers alone. In a later episode, Halle reveals that she is pushing Quan to have more self-confidence, so she doesn't feel down about herself.

The romantic friendship between Chris and Miracle involves secret lessons and a visit to the aforementioned secret cabin. In the fifteenth episode of Kizuna no Allele, they talk with Niska about why she left BRT5. She recalls that her fellow comrades told her to focus on the group rather than being a designer. As a result, she quit the group. Her goal was to be a designer and virtual artist at the same time. In the same conversation, she argued that people don't understand each other or get along. In her view, this is because people look at how other people are different, rather than the same. Her words encourage Chris to ask Miracle to collaborate with her. However, this is a bit awkward. Noelle and Riz, good characters in their own right, are sidelined. In the end, Miracle and Chris do a music video collab.

Niska is an interesting character. She thanks Chris and Miracle after their collab, just like Jua (voiced by Nozomi Nagumo). Then she boldly declares she has "reserved" Miracle for herself, in the end of the fifteenth episode, before anyone else, including Jua, can collab with her. This confuses Miracle, who she describes as a person with potential and attractive qualities. Niska points out the latter in the sixteenth episode, saying Miracle needs someone to look out for her. Her sense of loneliness results in a scene, set on a boat in a lake (reminding me of the well-known scene in Tangled). It looks like a confession, with Miracle blushing after Niska holds her hand. Perhaps, a fan fic writer could pen a work about this.

The strong friendship between Riz and Noelle is key to the development of both characters in this season / cour. Both relax in a simulation resembling the Japanese-style inn run by her parents. It even comes with a virtual foot bath. This is perfect for Noelle, who is feeling down after seeing Quan playing with BRT5. One message from these interactions is that anxiety shouldn't be ignored. All the while, more about Noelle's backstory is explained. She believes her family see her as a "failure." She wants her family to see her true self so she can love herself. Themes such as self-empowerment are central in Kizuna no Allele.

Riz provides the right encouragement and confidence for Noelle. She pushes Noelle to make a song for her family. Noelle says that she shouldn't seek validation in numbers and argues that she cares about her family. Her mom, dad, and sister are glad. They praise her and say she is an amazing artist. This impresses Quan. She wants to practice more, until she watches the Niska-Miracle collab song, which blows her away. Later, Noelle and Riz do a collab video and train to improve their dancing. Their friendship is strong, despite some tensions.

While there might be romantic vibes between Riz and Noelle, they are more pronounced between Jua and Thea, two members of the virtual band VICONIC. In a post-credit video after the fifteenth episode, Jua says she knows Thea from the past and is friends with her in the real world. She even starts to talk about how Thea likes cute stuff. This is further emphasized in the twenty-first episode. Thea defends Jua to people who are trash talking her. She praises Jua for inspiring her dream to become a performer and calls Jua her light. Ultimately, Thea makes outfits for her and Jua. She says she wants to stand with Jua on stage as a partner rather than rival. Both say they like each other.

Other Kizuna no Allele episodes show the BRT5 members being jerks during a strange game of banana tag. In the same episode, the seventeenth in the series, Sarah's tsundere feelings toward Zoe are apparent. Again, there are some romantic vibes between them. On the other hand, none of these characters are officially in relationships. So any romance manifests in subtext and romantic friendship instead. Overall, the crisper animation, especially in non-VR dance scenes (better than season one, but still wonky), lend to a "cute girl" vibe.

By the eighteenth episode, tempers are flying between some characters. Riz is annoyed with Sofia for being too pushy after winning, and possibly cheating, in a card game. Noelle shows that she cares about Riz is going through, after Riz says she was frustrated and felt pathetic. In a manner that hints at possible romantic feelings between them, she touches Riz's chest, saying there might be some hidden data she didn't know about. Noelle says it is terrible to be frustrated. She adds that frustration gives you a chance to think about yourself and improve your skills. They bond together even more. Later, Riz teases Noelle about being a "pro".

Kizuna no Allele goes further in the nineteenth episode. There's a unit battle, Ximena crushing on Jessie, and a mysterious person in the shadows. Loneliness, lack of self-confidence, and friendship are key themes. However, this series tends to raise the stakes, but not give viewers the pay off, making such story development weak. While saying this, some elements are executed well. I liked how wishes were represented as butterflies in the twentieth episode. The series connects this with the idea that people decide their own forms and break through their shells (of sorts). This is especially the case for Miracle. She can't choose one wish out of her many wishes. On the other hand, this idea is less effective than Nanami's statement in Revolutionary Girl Utena: "if we don't crack the world's shell, we will die without ever truly being born."

Undoubtedly there were some fun recommended videos. For instance, in one video, Jua is disappointed at lack of similarities with Quan, with both loving heavy metal, rad and smashing music videos, and drama. Even so, these elements are mostly subpar. This is coupled with episodes of inconsistent length and bizarre "hip" songs. I did like the camaraderie between Zoey, Ximena, and Sofia. The latter weirdly wants to put an A.I. in her head. She echoes Tao in Carole & Tuesday. He makes the "perfect" songs with A.I., hoping they will become chart-toppers. The curiosity of Ximena in Chris was strange (she even put a tracker on her!). This mixes with a mysterious school principal and Chris praising Miracle. She says Miracle helped her understand herself and her connections to others.

The last two episodes of Kizuna no Allele are some of the best. PathTLive gets trapped in a virtual world. They can't escape thanks to Ada's efforts. She is rewriting all the network systems and has unclear motivations. This poses a dilemma for Miracle. The code of their current linkverse needs to be deleted so they can escape. Miracle she doesn't want to do that because they have so many memories there. In presumed series finale, Miracle finally agrees, after Quan offers to delete marumaru (her other avatar). She says that you can't touch or see memories, but that they don't disappear or hold you back. Instead, these memories encourage you to go forward. This optimism, however, would be negated by repressed memories.

In a strange twist, they don't get to Sofia's linkverse. They find themselves in a nether space. All four band members are separated. Each of them feels some level of trauma. After hearing music from other performers, they escape and reach their destination. As Chris puts it, this new linkverse is where they can be or do anything. Magically, and absurdly, they all claim, in a hokey way, the music is "in their hearts." The band performs a song with Love Live! vibes. Even so, songs in that franchise are better.

The episode ends with Ada worrying about "danger" of their music. The Principal is overjoyed at the possibility. In some ways, the audience gets a payoff. The characters hang out and having fun. PathTLive wins the contest and goes on stage in new outfits for an awards show. Ai watches over them like a guardian angel. Overall, the visuals of this season / cour are better than the show, as is the music and animation. Even so, the show is still mediocre. More could have been done with these characters to make the show more effective.

Critics have panned the series. They've called it strange, slop, cynical, corporate-poisoned, a showcase for virtual idols, and better than Alice Gear Aegis Expansion. Others called it a cash-in which doesn't capture VTuber culture, tiresome, and incoherent. While these criticisms have merit, the second season, more accurately, had an engaging storyline filled with intrigue and depth. Surely it isn't as strong as My Love Story with Yamada-kun at Lv999 or as compelling as Selection Project. But it had some value, especially when it comes to interpersonal relations between characters and yuri subtext.

Kizuna no Allele is streaming on Crunchyroll.

© 2023-2024 Burkely Hermann. All rights reserved.

[glitterdustcyclops]

saw @rainbowbarnacle do this and i thought it might be fun so

Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Then tag as many people as you have WIPs

like she did i'm just going to list out my WIPs with a brief summary but if any of these sound interesting to you or you'd like to ask me questions please please do

also i don't have a single WIP folder because i organize all of my various universes into their own folders but here's the ones i'm most actively working on:

The House of Orchids v5 / The Tale of the Blackwood Company: the two main entries in my fantasy courtesans universe, the titular house of orchids. the first is about how the son of one of the most conservative noble lords in an incredibly repressive/homophobic empire gets found out for being a fairy and then sold to a brothel, meets another courtesan, perrin, whomst is hot dom that helps him work through his Issues around his sexuality, and finally, gets his revenge on the people that wronged him. dual protag situation, the other half is about aria, a former-pirate-turned-courtesan who has recently been purchased by her own hot domme noble lady and how she navigates the complexities of that situation. focusing on themes of agency/control and how that impacts our identities and relationship to our body, and of course, because it's me, exploring how kink can help us navigate that.

the blackwood company are a mercenary band in the same universe who have a close relationship with the proprietor of the house of orchids and three of them are in a cute lil mmf polycule. they accept a contract to escort twin noble brats across the empire and along the way Shenanigans Ensue, as they are wont to do. another dual POV between kier, the f part of the mercenary polycule, whomst is an immortal queer warrior woman with a cnc kink, and elyssandra, the lady noble being escorted with a mysterious chronic illness, who feels Feelings about kier and doesn't know what to do with them. continuing themes of agency/bodily autonomy and kink as a method of exerting that control.

Gabe and Frankie Band Edition / Avery Again Again: the two main entries in my Nebula Verse, so named for the cafe/bookstore that is kind of the central hub between the various cast of characters. gabe & frankie's story started as an AU of a different universe but quickly became The Main One (i just can't bring myself to write about highschoolers anymore lol) and i've posted snippets of it before. the idea is kind of my riff on the whole bandom genre but explicitly queer, heavily cribbed from velvet goldmine with a sprinkle of the arden st. ives series from alexis hall for good measure. another dual POV situation between gabe, the lead singer of a queer glam rock band the peaches, and matt, a barista at nebula and the guitarist they hire last minute after the relationship between gabe and his former (regrettably heterosexual) lead guitarist implodes. shenanigans, it should not surprise you to learn, ensue.

meanwhile avery is a queer nonbinary adhd disaster (ngl, shameless self insert) who is roommates with one of nebula's other baristas, anna. they've recently been cut off from their rich parents for the crime of being a queer nonbinary college dropout and are working a series of jobs to make their rent money. Contrived Circumstances lead to them needing to pretend to be engaged to earn back the good graces/monetary support of their family, and they so happen to find a willing candidate in eliot. he is a wealthy and famous gay author of mystery novels who is embroiled in his own scandal after his ex-fiancé garret publishes a shocking tell-all memoir about what a prima donna jerk he supposedly is at the same time he gets into a very public, very embarrassing accident with some rando riding a vespa. eliot needs better publicity stat and a date to some industry event, and is willing to pay someone to pretend to be his arm candy. the two come to a mutually beneficial financial arrangement. and good thing avery can't stand him, so there's Absolutely No Chance of real, complicated emotional feelings to make things messy between the two of them. of course.

this is a shameless pretty woman riff, with lots of kink sprinkled in for good measure.

Cat V3 / Brian V3: the two main entries in my other series based around a cafe/central hub of artsy weirdos, this one called Haven. cat is an adhd disaster (are you sensing a pattern) who works at a board game store in a charming little shopping district of the college town of greendale, a which the locals fondly refer to as Hipster Alley. her two best friends and roommates ginger & greg work at Haven. cat accidentally runs into a intimidatingly hot punk woman outside Haven when she's running late for work, and it turns out this woman's name is quinn, and she works at a nearby bakery. cat attempts an ill-advised friendship with quinn while she pretends she's not hardcore crushing on her, which eventually turns into a friends-with-benefits kink-based situationship, and then they finally get over themselves and admit they're in wuv. lots of lowkey, charming vignettes of cat's friend group/found family of nosy queers (and a couple Token Heterosexuals in ginger and nathan) trying to help cat woo quinn. the epitome of cozy low-stakes coffeeshop fluff.

brian's story is another mmf polycule situation, takes place chronologically before cat's, with a shared cast of characters. brian shows up on the doorstep of what he thinks is his childhood best friend's apartment after a gaybashing leads him to fleeing his shitty small town, only to find that said childhood best friend, nathan, moved out. yesterday. nathan's former roommates, violet and anthony, let brian crash there while he sorts his life out a bit. violet engages in her own devious machinations to get anthony and brian to admit their obvious attraction for one another, and her plan to be the filling in their no-homo sandwich backfires spectacularly when she develops feelings for the dude too. whoopsie.

as far as tagging goes i'll tag @musicismymoirail because i know we've talked about some of my ocs before, otherwise anyone else who wants to do this please do!! and tag me cuz i'm nosy!!!

[ratbastarddotfuck]

Okay this one is not gonna be a popular take on tumblr but.

Identity policing is pointless and dangerous and honestly only really works in online spaces. I say this and you might think "yeah identity policing sucks" but I need you to think a bit deeper.

When you get into a real life queer community (and I DO mean queer specifically, radical inclusionist queers) people don't give a shit. You hear this kind of thing a lot on tumblr but I think it is important to specify, because a lot of more general "lgbt+" groups HAVE been poisoned by the online discourse.

I've been a part of a proper queer community for a couple of years now and here is the thing.

Many more people than you think have a constantly shifting sense of identity, or experience multiple, supposedly conflicting identities at once, and they are allowed to express those identities in a way that makes them comfortable.

My partner is a nonbinary trans woman. They date people of many different genders, and generally consider themself to be bi. But sometimes they refer to themself as a lesbian, because they feel like or want to be a lesbian on that day. They are still dating and love me/their other non-woman partners on these days, it's just an identity they resonate with at that time. This is what I mean when I say constantly shifting identity.

I am a gay, bisexual, asexual, genderfluid nonbinary transmasc. I experience so many different identities at once - my gender and my sexuality are informed by each other constantly. I always feel more masc when I am attracted to a masc person, and I always feel less masc (but rarely more fem) when I am attracted to more fem people. Any time I feel attraction I usually consider it gay attraction, even if I feel attraction to multiple differently gendered people at once - I'm bisexual from a technical standpoint, but I'm almost always just gay (but sometimes I truly am just a raging bisexual). I am genderfluid but I am also always nonbinary. My gender goes between multiple, often unidentifiable nonbinary genders, but rarely if ever a binary one.

When I talk to cis people, or less-radical trans people, I generally just say I'm a bi nonbinary person. Nobody needs to know all of that except the people I want to tell it to. BUT those are all facets of my identity that I do experience and I am allowed to express those. Just the other day I tagged a post about how much I love my partner (wife, I said in that post) with "lesbian" - the reason being they were having a lesbian day and I was very much in love with them and feeling pretty much a "gay almost-woman" myself.

(And this, by the way, is why the word queer is so useful and important and you can pry it from my cold dead hands :)

Another thing to think about is how we treat genderfluid people and their attraction in general. There are often posts with a "mlm/nblm" or "wlw/nblw" tag at the end - do these include genderfluid people? Am I allowed to reblog a mlm post when I'm having a man-adjacent day, even if I don't always feel like a mlm? Am I allowed to reblog a wlw post on a woman-adjacent day? My identity can fluctuate minute to minute, am I going to get a callout post from someone who doesn't understand the intricacies of my identity if I reblog a mlm post and a wlw post in quick succession?

And this is bringing me to the next part of this discussion, and the reason it is important to think about: the culture on tumblr (and, i believe, twitter) of calling people out for having what YOU perceive to be conflicting identities, saying that they're "appropriating x identity" or using it for clout or to escape the repercussions of an offhand comment they made that you didn't like (and I can name at least one popular tumblr user who did and still sometimes does experience targeted callouts and harassment for being a "lesbophobe" because they identify as a lesbian in a way the tumblr culture at large doesn't like, but I digress).

You do not and can not know the intricacies of someone's identity unless they tell you. If you read the earlier parts of this post and agreed or understood that people can have multiple "conflicting" identities, then I do not want to see you sharing callout posts for people who ID in a nonconventional way. You don't know, and overall it really does not fucking matter. The oft-repeated line of "how does it impact you if someone is gay/trans/etc", spoken to homophobes and transphobes frequently, is applicable here: how does it impact you if someone identifies in a supposedly nonconventional or conflicting way? It does not. And in real life queer communities, people do not give a shit, because we have bigger problems to deal with OUTSIDE the community, we don't have time for infighting. We have more in common than we have apart.

[thevalleyisjolly]

Ok, I’ve rewritten this post several times because I really want this to be a productive and respectful discussion, but this is a conversation that does need to be started.  I’ve been thinking about the whole cultural appropriation story line in this season of The Unsleeping City so far, and of course I think it’s great that Cody is starting to realize why that’s wrong and that Murph is making it explicitly clear that it is wrong, but I want to reorient the conversation away from Cody now and talk about Ricky as a Japanese-American character.

Because when Zac went “Just to paint a picture for you...” during the museum fight episode, there was quite a bit of surprise from non-Asian people in the fandom that this was really a serious issue, and one that Ricky would be bothered by or speak up about.  But why wouldn’t he?  I mean, the character is Japanese-American, and so is the player.  Doesn’t it make perfect sense that he would at least be a little bothered by a white person appropriating Japanese culture?  Asian fans certainly noticed and pointed it out before that episode aired.  Ricky/Zac certainly noticed - go back through the episodes and observe how every time Cody pulled out a kunai or threw a shuriken, Ricky was cringing or facepalming with an uncomfortable laugh.  Even with seven different camera perspectives to watch at the same time, it should have been pretty clear in the fandom that this was an ongoing issue that would bother and was bothering Ricky.

And I think there are several different facets to this, but the one I want to address is how there’s a tendency in fandom to ignore or erase Ricky’s Japanese heritage.  Not literally (although there is a particular sting every time I see another Ricky fancast where the actor is of another Asian heritage than Japanese - Asian people are not interchangeable).  But especially prior to Season 2, there was a general trend in the fandom that liked to simplify Ricky’s character and overlook him as a complex player character because of traits that are very common in East Asian immigrant cultures.

Perhaps it’s because my heritage is East Asian and I’ve had more exposure to general cultural customs and behaviours among East Asian immigrants, but Zac’s portrayal of Ricky has always read as a very obvious Asian-American child of immigrants to me (and, y’know, Zac and Ricky are actually Asian-American children of immigrants).  Not expressing negative emotions out loud, not verbally articulating thoughts and feelings but expressing them through actions, deferring to other peoples’ needs first instead of expressing his own wants because it’s not about him.  With the caveat that I’m Chinese and not Japanese, these are common practices that I’ve observed in my own family, among friends and acquaintances (of various Asian heritages including but not limited to Chinese), in broader experiences with other East Asian immigrants.

(Asia is not a monolith and I’m not familiar with the immigrant cultures and experiences of people from other Asian heritages.  I specify East Asian here because that is broadly what I can speak on and because Ricky is Japanese, but other Asian people please feel free to discuss your experiences as well)

And obviously, these are not monolith traits observed at all times, I’ve definitely met plenty of East Asian immigrants who did express their emotions loudly, who used their words, who were assertive about their own needs and wants (this is not the post to be getting into different generations of immigration and the culture differences between those generations).  And it also depends on the context - from my own experience, in private within families, both emotions and words can get extremely loud (if you dare to risk the wrath of your elders by arguing with them!)  But my point is that the habits I pointed out above are still relatively common in East Asian immigrant cultures, even if not all individuals follow them at all times.

Particularly prior to Season 2, there was a common perspective in the fandom, usually couched in “uwu, I love that Zac is playing a hot dummy!!” that would go along the lines of “Ricky doesn’t have a character arc, he doesn’t get into conflicts with other people, he doesn’t say anything and is just happy to be there, he’s a shallow character who’s just a himbo.”  All of which I’d dispute, (*insert post here about Ricky as a character reclaiming Asian masculinity*), but I want to focus on how the main traits -refraining from overt emotions, remaining reserved in speech, not bringing up his own needs and wants- that were brought up and used to simplify and dismiss Ricky’s character were traits which are commonly found in East Asian immigrant communities.  The whole “remaining reserved/trying to avoid conflict” is something a lot of East Asian-American kids pick up at home because what you say or don’t say isn’t as important as what you do or don’t do.

And I mean, so much of Ricky is about doing things for people, showing his feelings through his actions, not his words.  Just because he wasn’t getting into PC conflict in Season 1, or expressing his emotions in the same ways as other PCs, doesn’t mean he was just a silent, cheerful himbo.  Which there’s nothing wrong with being a himbo, and it can be particularly empowering in Ricky’s case as an Asian man (see above linked post about Asian masculinity), but that’s not all there is to Ricky’s character!  And don’t get me wrong, I personally love that part of his ongoing character arc in Season 2 is speaking up about his feelings and expressing to other people what he wants (because there’s the “American” part of the Asian-American experience that’s not just about having Asian heritage but is also about negotiating that relationship in a place with different norms and customs).  But it doesn’t negate the “Asian” part of “Asian-American” either, which does impact and shape the way Ricky interacts with people and the world.

In hindsight, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that interest and meta in Ricky skyrocketed once he did start being more vocal and assertive in Season 2, which are common traits in many Western cultures.  And it’s not the only reason that there’s a deeper interest in Ricky now (shout out to all the Asian fans and allies who’ve been really diving into Ricky’s character this season!) and I choose to believe in good faith that it isn’t intentional or malicious (audiences do tend to gravitate more towards tangible moments of conversation and conflict rather than background acting).  But I think we as fans need to start questioning why as a whole, we really didn’t start giving deeper thought to Ricky until he began displaying more typically Western traits, because I think it’s emblematic of how, very subtly and unconsciously, we are used to privileging white “American” behaviour and ignoring or glossing over Asian (immigrant) traits.

In many ways, Ricky prior to Season 2 (and very arguably up until the museum fight), has been perceived in the general fandom as a sort of post-racial American-melting-pot character.  Fans don’t wholly ignore that he’s Japanese-American, you can’t really do that when his family name is “Matsui” and when the Season 1 finale showed that his interactions with the American Dream pretty strongly involved his parents’ immigrant experience.  But knowing intellectually that Ricky is Asian doesn’t always translate to actually perceiving him as an Asian person with all the implications and racial dynamics that entails.

An example of how this manifests: Ricky and Esther become a canon couple.  Numerous posts begin to appear (and periodically still do) that express opinions along the lines of Ricky/Esther being the only tolerable “het” couple.  Ignoring the fact that we don’t know Esther’s sexuality and we only have an offhand Ztream comment for Ricky, Ricky/Esther is a canonical interracial relationship between two non-white people, a Japanese man and a black woman.  Interracial relationships are already extremely poorly represented in media, to say nothing of interracial relationships between non-white people.   Yet we overlook the racial dynamics and only focus on the perceived queerness (or not) of the ship.

Or, for another example, taking the discussion on cultural appropriation and making it all about Cody’s flaws and character development, rather than considering how it affects Ricky as a Japanese man to see a white man disrespecting a part of his cultural heritage.

Anyways, I really urge D20 fans, especially if you’re not Asian, to start questioning and challenging how you really perceive characters, what kind of characteristics you tend to privilege and be drawn to and why, and what kind of fandom environment you shape in your interactions with the show and with other fans.  This is not to say that Ricky should be everyone’s favourite character or that you can’t dislike him, but it is important to think about why we have the preferences that we do.  I especially urge you to remember that Ricky Matsui is a Japanese-American character, that this was a deliberate choice which has been repeatedly brought up by Zac (who is a Japanese-American actor), and that you cannot and should not ignore Ricky’s heritage when you think and talk about him. 

(And if you think Ricky is being an “asshole” to Cody just for being, frankly, mildly perturbed in his direction because Cody spent most of the season so far being very offensive to Ricky’s cultural heritage, I really encourage you to think critically about your opinions and why you hold them.  And if, after thinking critically, you still don’t see why they’re wrong, please don’t let the door hit you on the way out.  Your conscious racism is not something that is welcome in this fandom, and Asian fans are not here to teach you better)

((White and non-Asian people can and should reblog this, but don’t clown around.  Productive, respectful discussion is welcome.  Asian fans are more than welcome to add their perspectives/agree/disagree, especially people with Japanese heritage))

[fingonvaliant]

An open letter to the Apostles

To the Leadership of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints:

I left because I didn’t believe anymore. There were too many promises that weren’t fulfilled, to many questions I was given false answers to, but more than anything else, I couldn’t take the stress of being a queer person in a space I didn’t feel like I belonged in. I could talk about Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, Mountain Meadows, the Kinderhook Plates, the stock portfolio, seer stones, blood atonement, “skins of darkness,” musket fire, “fence-sitters,” and a million things besides, but you know all that already.

I hope that with this letter, I can help the Church improve and change, because I still care about the Church, even though I no longer belong to it; that’s how I know it needs to change. It is still important to me. I am not trying to get people to leave the Church, that is not my goal. I’m not a Korihor trying to cause contention. But I need to tell my story.

While I was growing up, I believed it all. I was baptized at eight, regularly attended, served in quorum leaderships, and planned on going on a mission. Then, about when I was thirteen, I started experiencing what the Church calls “same-gender attraction.” I dislike this term greatly; it sounds like a disease. I prefer to say that I discovered I was bisexual.

I did not know what this was. My sexual education classes never covered it; I was never told what it was when I got “the talk”; my only experience with the word “gay” was in a middle school context, as an insult with no clear meaning. The only thing I did know was that this was not allowed. If marriage was ordained of God between a man and a woman, why did I have these -at the time- confusing feelings? If the only relationships I had any experience with were heterosexual, how was I even to know bisexuality existed?

And I didn’t, for years. As I wrestled with this, not even knowing what exactly I was feeling, I eventually, around age 16, learned the words to fit the feelings, to fit my identity. I knew who I was, what I was. By then, gay marriage had only just been legalized, and I -a couple months late- learned that this was a victory for me also.

This recognition put everything I thought I knew about marriage into a tailspin. I knew, I saw, and I was a part of, the Church’s effort to prevent this legalization. I read in Standards for Youth, (at the time called For the Strength of Youth) a short paragraph that made a huge impact on the rest of my life: “Homosexual and lesbian behavior is a serious sin. If you find yourself struggling with same-gender attraction or you are being persuaded to participate in inappropriate behavior, seek counsel from your parents and bishop. They will help you.” (Standards for Youth, Sexual Purity, emphasis added).

The thorough talking-to’s my closeted teen self received just before and after the legalization of gay marriage involved repetition of this paragraph ad nauseam. Breaking it down, it’s clear the degree to which this passage is shaped by uninformed conservatism. What does “behavior” mean? Since it’s a serious sin, you’d expect there to be clarification, right? Is hand-holding a serious sin? Hugs? An increased heart rate? A peck on the cheek? Or just sex? The way I was taught, it was clear the answer was “all of the above.”

The term “struggling” carries so much weight. The LDS church knew suffering, and still today in many places of in the world, members of the Church face repression. All people struggle with burdens, we struggle with disease, we struggle with sin, we struggle with conflict. Is “same-gender attraction” a burden, a disease, a sin, does it cause conflict? With the use of this word, the values are clear.

But in reality, the most painful part of this paragraph is the conclusion: “your parents and bishop … will help you.” They didn’t. They didn’t know how to, they still don’t. Because of the broad interpretation of unacceptable “behavior” and the belief that “same-gender attraction” is a “struggle,” they had no clue what they were dealing with.

Coming out was a traumatic experience. I was attending an all-boys boarding school at the time and caught feelings for a fellow student. We snuck around, living out a high school romance for a few weeks, until we were caught by the staff. Phone calls home were made, and I had the indescribable experience of having to explain to my parents both who I was, and what I had done, over the phone, one parent at a time, without seeing their faces.

Their immediate reaction was that I was too young to know if I was “really gay,” and that all sorts of strange feelings happen in boys my age. They didn’t really believe my description of myself; they negated my identity -they did not even recognize that this experience and these feelings were part of my identity- and mailed me a copy of The Miracle of Forgiveness. My experience with my bishop was likewise useless. He advised me that -through the atonement of Christ- all things are possible, and with suitable dedication to living the gospel, I could be made pure.

I never changed. I could not. It cannot be done. But I tried. I tried so hard.

Church attendance became more and more anxiety-inducing. I felt more and more guilty blessing the sacrament and giving blessings. I gave up on my childhood dream of being a missionary because I could longer believe the words I would have to say. I took temple preparation classes but could never bring myself to the bishop’s office to do the interview. When I started attending college and going to a YSA ward, I was no longer under my parent’s supervision. I kept going for a few months, until I was called as a ward missionary. I remember the day where I was on splits with the full-time missionaries, and we were going door-to-door in a neighborhood near my home. I just felt like we were harassing people in their homes on a Wednesday evening. It was the most uncomfortable experience of my life. I knew then that I didn’t believe in any of this anymore.

You know as well as I do that tens of thousands of people have had similar experiences that I have. We’ve felt the alienation, the sidelining, the people who don’t understand, the hand-wringing, the statement that all the burden lies on queer people to cure themselves, and it is the Church that must not change or cannot change. We keep being told “wickedness never was happiness,” (Alma 41:10) and that our lives of “unrepentant sin” are responsible for calamities and the disintegration of the family. We are being made into bogeymen in the closet, seeking “that all men might be miserable like unto [ourselves].” Endless inquiries are put forward, seeking to find the “cause of homosexuality” that we know are to find a “cure” for it. We are told we are suffering from these attractions, not that we have a unique identity, and certainly not that we are valuable.

But I know that these practices, and these doctrines, are not at the core of the Church. Members of the Church are commanded to “mourn with those that mourn … and comfort those that stand in need of comfort” (Mosiah 18:9). All Christians are told, that as a mark of their religion, they are to “love one another; as I have loved you” (John 13:34) and that “On [this] hang all the law and the prophets.” (Matthew 22:40). I know the Church can be better than it is right now; it is the Church itself that taught me that.

In nature, there is a direct correlation of both an organism’s and a species’ capacity for survival with its capacity for change. And I know the Church can change, because it has done it before, with interracial marriage, with polygamy, with African-Americans and the priesthood, with the Word of Wisdom, and with many things besides. Society changes all the time, and the Church changes with it.

[wangxiandecoded]

Episode 7 (& Wangxian Meta)

Previous Episode | Next Episode

(Spoilers for the whole show ahead!)

The Chosen Ones

Lan Zhan, if this scene foreshadows anything, it’s that he’s certainly going to become a part of your domestic affair.

There is something powerful about the first and only female Lan clan leader giving them her blessing and saying it was destiny that they found their way to her just as she’s about to fade into oblivion. Wangxian are the archetypal Chosen Ones who have been entrusted with keeping the Yin Iron safe. And if this was yet another straight adventure story that delivers poetic justice, we would expect it to conclude with these two people ending up together - and that’s what The Untamed does in a roundabout way with our heroes.

Nothing to see here. Just two guys tripping over each other because the sacred string of fate pulled them towards each other.

Lan Zhan, I’ll Be Your Secret Keeper!

This episode is full of instances where Wei Ying refuses to tell other characters what really happened in the cave, then turns around to look at Lan Zhan with a proud look that screams, “I’m so good at keeping secrets, aren’t I? We are soulmates! Come on, validate me, Lan Zhan!”

The expression on Lan Qiren’s face when Wei Ying calls Lan Zhan his confidant/soulmate. No words are needed. 

The Yin Iron Secret™ is obviously bringing them closer and they begin to share loaded glances that convey everything they wish to say without actually having to. Thus begins the process of everyone third wheeling Wangxian.

Jiang Cheng thinks Wei Ying should move into the Cloud Recesses since he’s hanging out with Lan Zhan all the time. Lan Zhan hears that and appears to be a tad bit disappointed Wei Ying might never actually do that since their lifestyles are leagues apart. It’s tough being Wei Wuxian sometimes.

The Lantern That Started Everything

We are here, folks! The moment that started it all, the scene that defined Wangxian’s story. Once again, Wangxian are framed in contrast with the two straight couples. 

Lan Zhan and Wei Ying are standing together and look at each other while making their wish, just like Yanli x Jin Zixuan, and Jiang Cheng x Wen Qing.

Lan Zhan says he is used to doing it alone and Wei Ying comments old habits can be changed, which just points to the latter’s impact on the former’s life.

Wei Ying has another accomplishment to cross off his list : Finally made Lan Zhan smile today!

Mian Mian asks Yanli why she didn’t make the lantern together with Jin Zixuan, as praying together is a custom followed by couples that are to be married. And that tells you everything you need to know about Lan Zhan and Wei Ying’s relationship.   

The first of many times that Lan Zhan rushes in to hold Wei Ying back.

Lan Zhan for a second believed Wei Ying finally learnt his lessons and crossed over to the lawful good side.. but come on, you love him precisely because he would never do that. And those ants are cute.

Jiang Fengmian proposes to cancel the troth between the clans to marry Yanli and Jin Zixuan. It is worth mentioning that Jiang clan’s approach to marriage is to never force their kids into a lifelong relationship they are not sure they want as they believe in “following one’s nature”. When even straight relationships are progressive and value happiness above all else, what is to stop the show from selling us a central gay romance that ends happily? Absolutely nothing.

We’ve now seen both the protagonists reject the romantic idea of spending their life with a woman. 

Missing Lan Zhan Hours Now Open

Wei Ying pouting like.. What do you mean we have to leave already? Lan Zhan literally just started acknowledging me as his soulmate. 

Oh no, Lan Zhan.. Why aren’t you including your soulmate on the super secret plan™?!

Wei Ying’s reason for wanting to say goodbye to only Lan Zhan out of all the disciples is, “Why can’t I admire his talents? You’re all losers who can’t fight me and he is my Match (Made In Heaven), I desire for an equivalence (and a meaningful union between souls.)”

The camera moves from the Yunmeng siblings squabbling to Lan Zhan observing them from a distance. Zewu Jun joins him and comments that after Wei Ying’s departure, Yun Shen will be silent once more. Lan Zhan’s face falls a little, understandably because he was getting more than used to Wei Ying’s chaotic presence in his life.

Zewu Jun is worried if Lan Zhan will be alright on his journey alone and raises the idea if he should tell Wei Ying about his quest. But Lan Zhan, our beloved idiot, still needs that extra push to come to terms with his feelings and realize Wei Ying will instantly drop everything for a lifetime by his side if he were to only say the word.

Rabbits Symbolise The Chinese Gay God

Even before the fandom taught me that the Chinese god of homosexuality is literally The Rabbit God, so the inclusion of rabbits is gloriously queer subtext, I could gather that they symbolised Wangxian’s feelings for each other. They both talk to the rabbits when the other is not there, Wei Ying paints a rabbit lantern for them to wish together, Lan Zhan raised Ah Yuan among these rabbits because they reminded him of Wei Ying and after 16 years, Lan Zhan drunkenly admits he likes rabbits (the equivalent of saying he’s always liked Wei Ying), they buy the rabbit lantern together and finally come back to find these rabbits in Cloud Recesses. The rabbits are a part of the Wangxian family.

The reappearance of the rabbits when Lan Zhan and Wei Ying’s dynamics have changed 16 years later is very telling. Their relationship by then has survived death and the miraculous return from death; it’s gone through the whole cycle of the promise of love, the pain of loss, the joy of redemption. The rabbits bring their life full circle to denote the certainty and comfort in the fact that they have each other after the trials and tribulations their romance has withstood. Wei Ying even says he isn’t scared of what happens anymore in that scene. There is nothing that can separate our heroes after this, they just have to brave whatever comes together.

And then there’s this promo picture and scene from a later episode where two rabbits are kissing.

This is how The Untamed screamed gay rights : “We’re not saying the heroes are gay, but the Yunshen rabbits are definitely gay and no one can do anything about it!” Only, the rabbits are such a huge part of this love story. 

Wangxian’s Promise of Love and Honor

When they make the wish together, Lan Zhan looks at Wei Ying with a kind of awe and reverence like, how did I not recognize him from the moment we met? He eyes the pouch containing the Yin metal and realizes they are both more alike than he thought, that this guy is possibly and most definitely his soulmate. This is an important stage in their relationship.

When he hears Wei Ying wish that he wants to eliminate evil and protect the weak in exchange for a life without anything weighing down their hearts - I think it is at this point he begins to see him as more of a life partner with whom he can share everything, than just a friend. Because Wei Ying’s impact on Lan Zhan’s life is so profound it alters his being, tilts his axis and expands his perspective. Wei Ying brought with him a free-spirited, flexible measurement of morality and an ardent quest for truth that no 3000 rules of the Lan clan had ever laid down. He realizes the rules he grew up on are right but Wei Ying, with all his moral complexity, can also be right. Wei Ying’s companionship introduced Lan Zhan to a fluid perception of right and wrong that he found perfectly acceptable. This shows Lan Zhan and Wei Ying belong to the new generation that is here to reform the broken system built by their ancestors. In this moment, by choosing to view him as his unequivocal soulmate, by acknowledging their paths are to be forever intertwined, Lan Zhan liberates his mind from the monochromatic perception of life he was brought up on. By making this wish together, Lan Zhan trusts Wei Ying to always do the right thing from now on and trusts the both of them to lead a life that they are proud of.

He doesn’t know right now that staying committed to this wish is going to demand everything from them in the future, but he does know that Wei Ying is the greatest person he has ever met and the first one who is so compatible with him. And that is a revelation to Lan Zhan because there are easily a million things that set them apart. All the same, he sees his own core values reflected in his soulmate. He decides it couldn’t be the worst thing in this world to stand by Wei Ying’s side especially when he’s doing the most honorable thing they both know to be true. This common ground means something to Lan Zhan, even if we don’t hear him admit that. Because here is Wei Ying telling him he doesn’t need to be alone anymore even though he’s used to it. That he doesn’t have to go through any of it alone as long as he is there: fight for justice, vanquish evil, or even simply go through everyday life. Lan Zhan’s face in this scene is understandably the face of a man who is falling in love.

The promise they make to each other on this cliff was in a way, a promise to follow their own path that ended up operating above the constraints of and reinvented the cultivation world’s jurisdiction. There are going to be many forces trying to convince them it's not the right way, but the path they share, which is both the literal path of justice and their love for each other (they are synonymous, after all) is the one they courageously forge and painfully commit to when their world is unable to go on existing with the faulty principles it was founded on. That is why their romance survives every obstacle in the end. It is founded on a love that runs so deep it recognizes and respects the other in the many lifetimes spent serving their just cause. Their love, and the extents it goes to in order to thrive, is the answer to all the troubles that ail their world. And it all began with this lantern. 

This is why The Untamed is the gay drama and Wangxian are the gay warriors the universe has been waiting for. It staged gay romance in a realm ruled by gentry and the supernatural, giving us equal parts of gore as there is swashbuckling, gut-wrenching drama. Literally never been done before.

In conclusion, Episode 7 deepens the bond between our heroes and sets up the main struggle in their romance as we wait to see what will become of the wish they made together. But one thing is clear : They are bound together forever, not just by their love for each other but also by their common cause. That is why the road they walk on can never be different. It will forever be the single plank road they will always find their way back to.

[shewholovestoread]

Birds of Prey (2020) Review

I’ve seen Birds of Prey twice now and both times, it was an absolute joy to watch! Never have I enjoyed myself quite this much, I screamed, I shouted and laughed throughout the film. Birds of Prey was everything I hoped it would be and so much more.

Where do I even start with this film? I loved everything about it, the writing, the cast, direction, the action, all of it.

Now, lets get the negative out of the way, I’ve read some reviews that pointed out that the film has pacing issues and maybe it does but only if you’re looking for it. Birds of Prey is also operating from a place of disadvantage where other superhero films are concerned (predominantly Marvel) Barring Harley, whom we saw in Suicide Squad, the rest of the squad is not very well known. Birds of Prey had the tall task of introducing all of these other characters in a way that made sense and still have a reasonable run-time. Black Canary, Huntress, Renee Montoya did not have the advantage of having their own standalone films. Christina Hodson, Margot Robbie and Cathy Yan did a great job integrating all of these characters and their arcs and the intersection of said arcs.

The writing was so on point, it felt like the writers had a keen sense of the characters they were writing for and to an extent that is true. Robbie was part of the writing process and helped shape the film and it’s not surprising, I doubt anyone (barring those who write the actual comics) could have had a clearer picture of who Harley is. Cathy Yan does a great job of bringing the words to life and infusing them with an energy that was electrifying. It was cohesive and coherent film, full credit to Hodson and Yan.

I loved that all of the women are badass without exception but the film also gives them time and space to be vulnerable. These are not male characters in a female body. These characters are feminine and lean on their emotions instead of shutting them down. The ass-kicking aspect is amazing, the action set-pieces are fucking fantastic but it was equally gratifying to see the women be supportive and protective of each other. They quickly became a sisterhood once they came together and that was a pleasure to see on film.

Birds of Prey is feminist, explicitly queer, diverse, irreverent, brash, unapologetic and a no-holds-barred female power fantasy, it is wish fulfillment at its finest. It was so gratifying to see the female characters defy conventional, patriarchal expectations time and time again. They are allowed to be messy and flawed, they make mistakes and bad decisions and they are better for it.

Margot Robbie has made Harley hers in a way that I doubt another actor could match in any capacity. I loved her journey, I loved that she was a mess after her breakup and she needed time and space to truly heal, to discover her worth independent of her partner. I loved that she is canonically bisexual in the film. Her action sequences are some of the best in the film and she is amazing in them but I loved that we also saw her pain and loneliness, her desire to be a part of something and be appreciated for who she is. Her act of blowing up Ace Chemicals, while not thought through completely, is symbolic of her beginning to breaking away from the shackles she placed on herself.

Jurnee Smollett-Bell as Dinah Lance / Black Canary was amazing. You can see her feel torn between her need to survive and the terror and disgust she feels for Roman Sionis. Plus the Canary Cry was fucking epic and I wish we’d gotten more of it.

Rozie Perez as Renee Montoya was perfect, she brought dimensions and layers to the role that a younger actor would not have, the film is richer for having her in it and I am glad that both Yan and Perez fought for it. She had the right amount of cynicism and weariness that her role needed, like she’d been doing this for a while and though she was great at her job, she rarely got the credit she deserved. I also loved that she was also explicitly gay in the film and even meet her ex-girlfriend.

Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Helena Bertinelli / Huntress was plain delightful! I wish she’d had more screen-time. She was the right amount of socially awkward paired with someone with deep-seated rage issues. But she never loses herself to that rage, case in point, when the women are fighting together in the amusement park, she takes a moment to speak to Cassandra, give her something to ground her, to distract her from the violence and brutality.

Ella Jay Basco was great as Cassandra Cain. I loved her spirit and her interactions with Harley and the gang.

Ewan McGregor as Roman Sionis / Black Mask was equal parts spoilt brat and sinister and he played it so well. He was unpredictable and that’s what made him so menacing, you never knew what could set him off (snot bubble) And then there’s Chris Messina, brilliant as the unhinged Victor Zsazs, they were perfect for each other, 2 peas in a pod, each feeding the others’ sociopathy.

The action in the film is one of the best parts of the film, it is beautifully choreographed and you can feel the impact. All of the women get their time to shine, given that each has their own individual approach to how they fight. I also loved the costume design, I loved that NONE of the women were sexualised or objectified. They all looked amazing! But they were practically dressed, the way one dresses in real life but with more flair. Credit to Erin Benach.

Films like Birds of Prey that are written, produced and directed by women, for women are sometimes held to an unrealistic standard, almost as if they need to be perfect films (such a thing does not exist)They are held to standards that films made by men are not, which is why a man can make one mediocre film after another and no one blinks but if woman makes a film and it’s anything short of spectacular then it’s labeled a failure and used as an excuse to dismiss other proposals / pitches by female content creators, that is a deeply misogynistic approach and it needs to change. But we also need people to go out and watch films like Birds of Prey, Wonder Woman so that we can have more diverse voices and experiences reflected on screen. So please, if you haven’t already seen the film, make sure you do, go with your friends, mothers, sisters, whoever and watch it. It is a joy and a delight to watch.

Now, can we please have a Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy team up! Please, I desperately need it And while we’re at it, I need to them to get romantically involved. Pretty please

[luxraydyne]

Renju's Body Painting, Symbolism Breakdown

I’m not lecturing anyone on what to make of this piece, just a couple of nice folks pointed out how much Stuff is going on here, so I figured it’d be interesting to return to this a couple weeks on and see what I can recall of what I was thinking.

Pose: 

Referenced almost exactly from Becquet's sculpture of Sebastian, with the figure tied with ropes to a tree-like stake.

We know that Renju gifted the Guido Reni painting to Marble himself, firmly tying the icon to him.

The story goes that Sebastian was persecuted and ultimately executed by the Romans for his commitment to his Christian faith.

Renju speaks of God once or twice, though it's more likely the symbol is significant to his queer identity, a point he shares with Mama, hence the gift of the painting.

He keeps his devotion to Pewter a secret, a fact which hinders the investigations into his murder, and in a twist of irony, leads to his lover's destruction. He lives more truthfully by divorcing Shoko and finding Pewter, but dies seen as a liar.

Red rope:

The red lines slicing through the frame roughly align with the wounds in Renju's body, standing in for the arrows lodged in the body of Sebastian.

They also form an approximate X or crucifix shape.

The black cables from which Renju's body is suspended in left path are changed to red, suggesting the blood pouring from his face (absent here) as well as the red string of fate myth.

Red thread:

There is also a red thread wrapped around Renju's neck, representing the ligature used to strangle him in left path, again, a morbid take on the red string of fate story.

Strangulation is, moreover, indicative of Renju's silence regarding his trauma, both from being preyed upon by the yakuza as a teenager and from hiding his love for another man from everyone who knew them.

Cloth:

The white sheet draped delicately over Renju's body, maintaining some dignity and acting as a cushion between his back and the stake, is hemmed in the same green as Pewter's lab coat, suggesting the small, subtle comfort their relationship provided.

It also has implications of persona and masking.

Let’s not shy away from the nudity of his body either. There is a definite sexuality to the fleshiness of it all, as well as a stark vulnerability, a sense of exposure.

Hook (top-left):

Taken almost directly from the diorama-like crime scene in left path. There is an artfulness to the horrific display.

The block and tackle setup with the hook and pulley is usually used on boats and sailing ships, fitting the nautical theme of Sunfish Pocket

It also objectifies Renju's corpse, rendering him into cargo

Scales:

Fish scale pattern, painted in gold, suggestive of the wealth, beauty and opulence that were the trappings of Renju's persona.

Alludes to the mermaid motif, adding a certain Otherness to Renju, a sort of unreality which pervades him throughout the story.

The fish caught by boats, of course, are meant to be killed and eaten.

Glasses (top-right):

At both crime scenes, in left and right path, Renju is missing his glasses, leaving his face exposed and bleeding, and presumably impeding his ability to see.

Here the spectacles are cracked and spattered with blood on the left side, alluding to the tearing out of Renju's left eyeball in both timelines.

Watch:

Pretty self-explanatory. The gold watch gifted to Renju by Pewter, matching his silver one.

The time reads 8:00, Renju's time of death in left path, and a crucial piece of evidence.

The watch face is huge, out of proportion with the other paraphernalia from the crime scene, implying the importance of this relationship to Renju, but also the threat it presents, unbeknownst to those investigating.

Oil barrel:

Nothing too complicated going on here, just a reference to the oil barrel into which Renju's corpse is stuffed in order to transport him to Sunfish Pocket where he would be put in display.

There’s possibly something to be said about the dirtiness of the oil barrel, the intended contents somehow dirtying or ‘soiling’ Renju’s body when he is stored in there instead. It’s a stark contrast between the clean white clothes he tended to wear, versus the black oil.

Pills (bottom-left):

In left path, we know Renju was drugged in order to incapacitate him before he was killed. This becomes more ironic the more you think about it.

I did consider including a glass or bottle of alcohol here as well, as a nod toward Renju's use of substances to alleviate his mental strain, but figured this might confuse matters and the implication of the sedatives did the job well enough on their own.

Car headlights (left):

Most obviously representing the car accident that puts Renju in hospital in right path.

Renju's car is also crucial to Shoko's murder and left path.

The headlights have a spotlight-like quality suggesting the harsh gaze aimed at Renju as suspicion is constantly on him.

The lights fade into shadow, however, gesturing toward both the darkness of Kabasaki and the accident in right path.

Blood (bottom-left):

In the absence of much blood on Renju's body here, the splatter pattern, tracking upward, is intended to imply the violent impact of the road accident in right path and the fatal damage inflicted on his body.

Eyes (bottom-left):

Another brutal irony to Renju's character is his transition from observer to the observed, and a victim in both cases. He grows from a kid forced to be the Kumakura's lookout whilst elderly murder victims died in their bathrooms, into the pretty face of a company, constantly looked at and judged by the public eye.

Paradoxically, Renju seeks the public gaze, and hides from it at the same time. He marries a woman he doesn't love to please the eyes, and hides the man he does cherish to please them. Ultimately, his attempt to love Pewter AND protect them both instead destroys them.

In left path, Renju is gawked at like an art fixture (like a painting? a sculpture?). In right path, Pewter is dragged out into the open and stared down in his place. There is no safe place.

Tire tracks (bottom-right):

Nothing fancy. Tire tracks unnaturally crossed to indicate the chaotic traffic accident that wrecks Renju's body in right path.

Road markings:

See above. Road passes straight through Renju's body, suggesting the speed and impact of the truck.

Text (bottom-right):

Lifted directly from in-game dialogue.

Mama catches Date staring at the painting on the wall of Marble, and explains that it was a gift. She seems a little surprised that a) Date hasn't noticed it before, and b) that the symbolism of it is not obvious. Aiba then explains the tale of St. Sebastian and his execution.

Shadow (background):

Behind Renju, there is a shadow of a single wing outstretched, a subtle suggestion of a fallen angel, and bringing us back to the theme of sainthood.

Of course, at the conclusion of the story, we realise that Renju has been long dead by the time his corpse is found in either timeline, his consciousness trapped in Shoko's body strung up on the merry-go-round, so you could argue that much of the imagery doesn't fit. Still, my focus here was on Renju's body as an object, as part of his identity which is taken from him, and as a parallel to Sebastian's body.

[mikauzoran]

Adrienette: Serendipity: Fifty Marichat and Adrienette Kisses: Kiss Thirty

Read it on AO3: Serendipity: Fifty Marichat and Adrienette Kisses: ...as comfort.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Marinette asked for what was maybe the fifth time as she watched Adrien pace the television studio dressing room, waiting for his turn to be interviewed by Nadja. “It’s kind of a big deal.”

He nodded vehemently. “I’m sure. I mean…I’m not, but I am…if that makes any sense. I want to…but I don’t want to. But this is something I have to do, so…”

Marinette pursed her lips, changing the cross of her ankles as they dangled over the side of the countertop she was sitting on with her back to the mirror. “Adrien, coming out isn’t something you have to do…especially not on live television.”

He stopped pacing and turned to face her, anguish clear on his features. “I feel like it is, though. People always talk about what a good ally I am, and I feel like an imposter. What kind of hypocrite am I when I tell the teens I mentor to embrace who they are and not to be ashamed of not being straight? I’m tired of living this half-truth. I don’t want to be an ally on the fringe of things; I want to be an actual, acknowledged member of the community. I want to be able to talk about my own experiences without living in fear of being outted. I want to get this over with on my own terms,” he spit out in his agitation.

Marinette nodded patiently. “Okay. You know I support you and want you to be happy.”

She hopped down off of the counter and went over to him, wrapping her arms around his waist and pulling him in close. “It’s going to be okay.” She gently touched her lips to his.

He melted into her, letting all of the tension go, knowing that even if everyone else turned on him, he’d still have her.

“Thanks,” he breathed.

 The interview went smoothly. Adrien responded to the questions he’d been sent ahead of time with the answers he’d worked with his image consultant to prepare. From time to time, Nadja would throw in something off the cuff, and Adrien would reply with a polished answer.

It was only when Nadja got to the second to last question that Adrien’s calm façade seemed to chip. “So, Adrien, can you tell your fans something they don’t know about you?”

Adrien shifted on the couch, smiling nervously. “Well, my image consultant thought I should tell you that I’m actually a fairly skilled rock-climber, but…I decided I wanted to use this opportunity to talk about something more important. Something my fans don’t know about me is that I’m bi.” He paused to let that sink in and to watch the gaping, startled expression on Nadja’s face before continuing, “Meaning I’m romantically attracted to both men and women. I’ve known for a couple years now, and I decided it was finally time to come out.”

Nadja quickly got over her surprise and jumped back into reporter mode. “What made you decide it was time to share this news?”

Adrien exhaled some of his nerves, and his posture became less rigid as he answered, “I’ve been doing a lot of volunteer work the past few years mentoring queer youth, and I always tell the kids I work with to accept and love themselves for who they are and not to be afraid or ashamed. It’s never really sat right with me that I wasn’t doing what I was telling them to do.”

Nadja nodded sympathetically, letting Adrien talk at his own pace.

Adrien bit his lip. “I used to think that the part of myself that liked guys wasn’t really relevant because I could get by dating girls and just letting everyone think I was straight, but…as I’ve become more involved with the queer community, it started to feel like I was lying to everyone. I’m not just an ally. My work as a mentor is about me trying to make things easier for kids like me. I’m blessed to be able to do a lot for the community in terms of raising funds and awareness because of my fame, first as a model for my father’s brand and now in my own right as a budding actor, but I started thinking, ‘If I can do so much while being perceived as a straight guy, how much more could I do if everyone knew that Adrien Agreste was a queer kid too?’”

“And…what does your fiancée think of this?” Nadja prompted. “Is this something you’ve shared with her?”

“Of course,” Adrien assured with a warm smile. “Marinette is amazing. I told her a few years ago back when we first started dating, and she just took it in stride. She just loves me and supports me no matter what. I feel really blessed to have found such a wonderful partner.”

“Now, your fiancée is actually here in the studio with us tonight, isn’t she?” Nadja asked, looking over to where Marinette was standing next to Adrien’s bodyguard by one of the lights. “Marinette, could you come on out and join us?”

Marinette looked startled at being addressed but quickly regained her composure and made her way onto the set, giving Adrien a hug and a quick, bolstering kiss as she sat down on the couch beside him.

Their arms went around one another’s waists, her head on his shoulder, his cheek resting on her head. They fit together like puzzle pieces.

“Marinette, how are you feeling about all this?” Nadja inquired, greedy for a scoop.

Marinette shrugged, smiling warmly. “I’m proud of him,” she answered simply, voice picked up by the microphone on Adrien’s shirt collar. “I love him exactly as he is, and I want him to be happy. It doesn’t matter to me who he’s attracted to; he picked me, and that’s the important thing. I just hope his fans keeping loving and supporting him too.”

Nadja nodded sympathetically. “Some people aren’t very accepting of people who are different. On behalf of myself and the station, thank you for choosing us for this sensitive announcement.”

Marinette and Adrien both nodded.

“So, Adrien,” Nadja smiled conspiratorially. “have you ever had a boyfriend or maybe a guy you were interested in?”

Adrien blushed, lifting his head to grin down at Marinette. “I’ve never dated a guy before, no. Marinette’s kind of been it for me.” His smile turned sheepish as he looked back up at Nadja. “There is this one guy I have feelings for, but he’s dating someone else, and I already have Marinette…whom I’m super excited to be marrying this coming summer and starting a life with. So, unless she dumps my sorry hide, I don’t foresee me ever announcing that I have a boyfriend.”

He looked back to Marinette, and the cameras captured the glowing, affectionate way they gazed at one another.

“I’ve found my person,” Adrien explained. “I don’t need anyone else.”

“And…what does your father think about your announcement?” Nadja inquired, still fishing for ratings-boosting content.

Adrien paled visibly as his face fell.

Marinette gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “I’ve never told him, so he’s finding out right alongside all of you. I don’t think he has a problem with queer people. I mean, I’ve never seen him treat queer individuals any worse than anyone else or heard him say anything that would make me think he had a problem with people who weren’t straight, but…I imagine it’s different working with queer people versus your child being queer. I’m guessing he either won’t care or won’t talk to me ever again, so…we’ll see how that goes.” Adrien gave a tired shrug. “At the very least, I don’t think he’ll be throwing me a coming out party.”

“It’s okay,” Marinette assured confidently, recapturing Adrien’s attention. “My parents will.”

Adrien’s smile came back with a vengeance. He laughed, hugging her to his side as he bragged to the camera, “Do you see how amazing this woman is? Is it any wonder I’m in love with her? Seriously. I’d be lost without her. I’m really lucky.”

 Adrien’s bodyguard gave him a fond head pat and a grunt that spoke of pride and unwavering support.

Adrien broke out into a wide smile of gratitude. “Thanks, Vitya,” he breathed in Russian.

Victor nodded ushering Adrien and Marinette towards the car, on the lookout for anyone who might cause trouble.

They made it without incident, and no sooner were they situated in the backseat than Adrien’s phone rang.

He took a deep breath.

Marinette slipped her hand into his, giving him an encouraging smile. “It’s going to be okay. I’m here.”

Adrien squeezed Marinette’s hand and answered Gabriel’s call. “Hello, Father.”

“Adrien,” Gabriel replied, sounding irked.

Adrien winced, bracing for impact. “Yes, Father?”

“The only thing I have a problem with,” Gabriel snapped, “is your propensity to drag private matters out into public view, thereby bringing shame upon me, the company, and yourself.”

“I’m sorry, Father,” Adrien answered meekly.

Gabriel snorted. “Clearly, you are not or else you wouldn’t keep making a spectacle of—”

“—Tell him you’re proud of him,” Nathalie hissed in the background.

There was a beat where Adrien imagined his father gawking at his stepmother.

“No,” Gabriel hissed back, holding the phone away from his ear. “I will not encourage this kind of behaviour. This is not how you discipline a child, Nathalie.”

Nathalie let out a longsuffering sigh. “Gabriel, he’s not a child anymore. Give me the phone. Adrien?”

“Hi, Nathalie,” Adrien chuckled, appreciating her unending efforts to train her former boss.

“Adrien, we’re really proud of you,” Nathalie assured with a touch more emotion in her voice than usual. “We love you very much.”

“Thank you, Nathalie. I love you guys too,” he replied through a smile, getting choked up.

“We are not proud,” Gabriel insisted, taking the phone back. “We are disappointed in your childish behaviour.”

“We’re not disappointed,” Nathalie sighed, shaking her head at her husband’s stubbornness.

“And did you really think I didn’t know about your feelings for that punk boy you’re friends with?” Gabriel ranted. “Furthermore, Tom and Sabine are not throwing you a coming out party. I will be hosting your coming out party. Tom and Sabine may cater, but I will not be outdone by my son’s in-laws. Is that understood?”

Adrien blinked, completely baffled. “Uh…yes, Father. Thank you. I…I understand.”

“Good.” Gabriel cleared his throat and adjusted his ascot. “I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

“Yes,” Adrien tentatively agreed, not yet sure of his footing in this strange new world where his father was throwing him a coming out party in an attempt to compete with his future mother- and father-in-law. “I am too.”

“And, Adrien? One more thing.” Gabriel’s voice was suddenly poised and impassive once more.

“Yes father?” Adrien held his breath.

“Your young woman is a very special, rare person,” his father informed him. “Take care of her, and don’t take her for granted.” There was a hint of regret in his words, as if he wished someone had told him that before it was too late.

“I know,” Adrien replied warmly, squeezing Marinette’s hand. “Thank you, Father.”

Gabriel sighed. “Endeavor to keep her. She’s good for you, and I like her.”

“Yes, Father,” Adrien laughed.

“Goodnight, Adrien.” Gabriel hung up abruptly, not waiting for his son’s response.

Marinette gave her fiancé a quizzical look. “What did he say?”

Adrien shook his head and shrugged. “Apparently, he knew I was bi, I’ve brought shame upon the family and the company again, he’s going to disown me if I mess things up with you, and he’s jealous of my bond with your parents, so he’s throwing me a coming out party which your parents will be allowed to cater.”

Marinette nodded, taking the news in stride. “Well. I’m glad he took it so well.”

“So am I.” Adrien slumped against her with a sigh. “…Thanks for everything.”

“Any time,” she promised, pressing a light kiss to his temple.

[normal-thoughts-official]

magnus is this notorious pirate famous in the caribbean with everyone talking about him because of how successful he is. his quartermaster is definitely raphael (his care for his clan and how he cares for others solidifies this thought process) and their ship has some corny name that raphael pretends to hate but definitely loves. europe thinks that magnus and his crew are demons(racists fucks) meanwhile theyre out here being nerds who enjoys navigating the seas and ruining racists job prospects+

+cat and ragnor live on nassau with magnus bringing back supplies they sell(we love the blackmarket here). the lightwoods are brought into this world bc their parents send them off to nassau to try and expand the family's business and gain profit off of this lawless place which refuses to be governed by anyone. malec meets at like the local inn where maia works at also where izzy meets her and by association The Polycule)and is just attracted to each other right then and there with bad flirting. once they become settled in, alec and izzy becomes like disillusioned with following what their parents expect of them and start to actually do what they wish. because he's dramatic, alec probably asks ragnor who settled down from pirating for more lessons in sword fighting (hes not unexperienced but theres a difference from fighting on land and on water)

eventually magnus hears about this cue them dramatically learning how to fight on like this cliff top with their swords connecting (we love euphemisms for sex) and them bonding over magnus' book collection he has and them no longer doing what their parents expect of them (im imagining asmodeus as this well traveled trader or something who only cares about money rather than having humanity) and even though magnus is this pirate which is a profession that the "civilized world" looks down on, he's like the epitome of actually having morals and caring about people (pirates were known to drastically impact the slave trade as they often freed slaves and let them join their crew or they worked directly with maroons and indigenous people). 

i imagine their first kiss to be when theyre training and someone has a sword pressed against the others neck because theyre horny bastards and they accept only the dramatics. their proposal/matelot is potc levels of dramatic with them fighting an enemy crew alongside The Polycule(the most badass and queer crew out there) and like halfway through alec is just like marry me and then next thing they know it raphael is officiating their marriage around dead people before they go on to have a better and more planned out wedding on shore (had to get some of this out now before i went too deep, The Poycule is definitely something i paid attention to most considering how big and complex the group is)

ugh not to add to an already huge post but

you are totally right about raphael being his quartermaster! raphael is a great leader and he cares so much for his people and he is one of the few people magnus obviously trusts, even as they have their differences. only other person i could imagine as magnus' quartermaster would be cat but like! raphael is perfect for the job! also i love the idea that he pretends to hate the corny name, he has to pretend to hate magnus' puns and jokes on principle but really he loves it

also "meanwhile they are all nerds" accurate, the whole ship is just a whole mess of people having fun and being family we love that for them

and ok not to slut for the polycule but i'm slutting for the polycule i just. aaa want to know so much more about them. i know you said they were already with maia but idk i can see many of them being part of magnus' crew? especially meliorn and tbh clary lmao she seems the type who would love adventure like that (i'm going with fanon clary here mostly) and i can see simon in both but i can also definitely see simon being in the inn with maia (god i have a half baked au that includes that) because being in the sea all day? no thank you. and they are just this nice local couple that helps all the pirates because fuck the racist law

also it's hilarious because they are so warm and welcoming and the lightwoods get there and simon is like "oh-oh. incoming" and maia is all like "what the fUCK do you want"

which lowkey backfires because izzy is just like "oh she's so fierce, i love her" and is already like, halfway in love doing the head tilt and huge grin thing (she's not creepy about it, just like, she likes it, you know? especially because in this AU izzy was raised as a Rich Girl so she's expected to be all that fragile useless white woman ideal and yada yada and she's not here for that so she's attracted to the idea of women like clary and maia)

and just like ghhgggghhh not to slut but i love the idea that they are in the inn and meliorn raphael and possibly clary are always in the sea so like! sweet reunions! not that they are usually going super far lmao mostly just stopping the slave trade and protecting the caribbean and shit, but that's a few months in between visits and i picture that at some point when they are getting to nassau raphael is just like, vibrating (you know, as much as he allows himself to) and magnus just smiles knowingly, happy that his boy has found people he's so happy with

and raphael getting into the inn and being like "simon! maia!" and simon and maia being like "raphael! meliorn!" and just crashing into this big group hug and it's all laughs and meliorn twirls maia and she giggles and simon kisses raphael's cheek and is all worried about them both (plus clary) because god what the fuck kind of shit did they get into this time, are they hurt? if he's broken another leg he's gonna- and raphael laughs and says "no, cariño, i promise all i have with me are gifts" because he's not gonna travel the caribbean and not bring stuff for his partners. so it's him and meliorn showering maia and simon in gifts and pretty and maybe stolen things (maia in particular takes such great joy in learning that her pretty new bracelet belonged to some racist bitch) like spoils you know? lmao, and looking at them it's like they haven't seen each other in years or something but no it's been like a month and it's always like that

and alec and izzy are just watching that, mouths slack, shocked, but highkey yearning for something as free as that, that loving family and that open love and meliorn's genderfuckery and just everything about them! and alec "conceal don't feel" lightwood is kind of frowning and goes "are they always like that?" to which magnus, behind him, answers "yes" and then he turns around and they stare at each other and magnus quickly goes from "happy for my boys" to "hello tall person" in a matter of seconds and is suddenly all seductive and flirty and alec is having the time of his life? especially since here away from the lightwoods he can allow himself just a little bit, and letting a guy flirt with him can't hurt, right? he knows izzy won't tell their parents. so he engages

cue terribly bad flirting, izzy smiling widely as she watches the polycule dynamics, highkey wanting something like that for herself, especially seeing the way that clary talks to maia all like "look at this SWORD" and all the adventures. and maia still doesn't trust her but apparently magnus has already hit it off with her brother so what the hell, they might as well stay

and just!! yes getting to know each other shenanigans. i picture that like the army gets there and tries to get magnus and his crew and alec and izzy are like running to them to warn them (alec not knowing quite why, he shouldn't be taking that big of a risk, he shouldn't be getting attached to a pirate - of whom he's only heard terrible things so far, thinks they are Evil basically - just because something about him is alluring and represents the freedom he doesn't allow himself to want, but... he is getting attached) and the whole gang is all like *very calmly heading to the secret hideout in their room* oh don't worry about that lmao they do this every week

and idk i just want a moment where they are almost found and alec and izzy lowkey save their ass (i mean they would have managed but they make it easier, maybe use the Privilege Card lmao). maybe the guards were closer than they thought so alec ends up just shoving magnus into the hideout and when the guards come in he's all like "WHO is interrupting our sleep" and acts like an entitled brat and they don't even search the room lmao and then alec runs to the hideout all "sorry that i pushed you, are you okay?" and magnus is all like "i'm fine" but a little touched about the care. just to establish that trust, you know? both between them and between izzy and the rest of the polycule

so after that it all kind of flows smoothly because they know they can genuinely trust the lightwoods and so it grows into something more. magnus and alec can bond over having Terrible Parents With Terrible Morals and they open up about their respective traumas with abuse, and alec confesses to magnus for the first time ever that he doesn't want to be like his parents, that he thought if maybe he earned their respect, he could change things from the inside. and magnus looks at him all soft and touched and is like "there's no changing things from the inside" and alec is like "i'm starting to realize that" you know

and yeah alec gets to see how much that crew cares for each other, way more than his "traditional family" ever could (except for him and izzy who are just as devoted to each other as the crew is, but like, it's honestly less the "blood relations" and more how they've always been there for each other as they handled their parents' shittiness) and again he's just yearning because he always believed he wouldn't get something like that. and magnus in particular is just so caring and just wants to make the world a better place, you know? and he admires that and they bond over that, too

and just jdhdaodshad god i love this. and meanwhile izzy is flirting with maia clary and meliorn like crazy and soon they are like this huge messy group with all those dynamics... and i just aaa and alec and izzy end up joining the crew and daiodsaiodjsaio RAPHAEL OFFICIATING THEIR WEDDING i'm genuinely all for that fucking shit, magnus wants his boy to do it for them and aaaaa! also i DEMAND raphael&meliorn fighting sequences because i bet they would make a bomb ass duo fighting back to back and shit, you know? bonus points if they are defending simon and maia who are behind them and just making sure no one touches them?? i live for this shit 

in short i love this and you said “get some out of your chest" so if there's more, then fuck, i can't wait to see it dahsdaijas i'm sorry for talking so much i get too excited