#and the most recent project is a baby blanket for a friend and that will be done bc i’m making good progress | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

maryellencarter · 2 years

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So I've been tussling with how to write this post for some time now.

Uh, the background good news first? I appear to have worked almost an entire pay period and also March is a three paycheck month, so I'm making some very solid progress on getting caught up on my bills, and it seems like this might even continue. I know I tend to be more optimistic than is usually warranted, but 70 hours in my time clock when working all my scheduled hours would put me at 72 is pretty damn impressive, especially compared to how I've been doing for a really long time.

So then I was poking around and trying to figure out what one even does with disposable income. I've been going to a knitting group at a local yarn shop recently (I forget if I mentioned here but a friend was able to get me some KN95 masks and some helpful information about transmission rates so I can socialize safely again! This is probably a big factor in me being less depressed and more worky again also), but I don't really enjoy owning yarn I don't have A Plan for, so right now I've got a cable sweater for Leia, a fancy silk lace scarf, a puffy hexagon blanket, and a crochet baby blanket going, and I just really don't want any more yarn until I finish with one or two of these projects.

Recently, though, as y'all have probably seen, there was an announcement going around about the American Girl doll brand announcing a pair of 1999-themed Historical Character dolls. Because Tumblr is the "we are getting old" website at this point, there were Noises. (They have a Pizza Hut "Book-It" reading program playset. I have never been smacked in the face with nostalgia so hard in my entire life.)

As some of y'all may also remember, I used to have a whole collection of American Girl dolls and furniture and whatnot, because I was trying to do the whole "believe you can be safe and stable now and have the things you were never allowed to have as a kid" thing with a reasonable part of the money I'd inherited from my then recently deceased grandmother (a lovely human being, and by extreme genetic good luck the relative I take after physically, so that I don't have to deal with the whole "growing up to look exactly like my abuser" thing that some people have to suffer through). Then the 2016 election happened, I had a horrible depressive spiral, was unable to work, sold 90% of my collection to pay the rent, eventually became homeless anyway, and lost the other 10% by trusting the wrong person to keep my stuff safe when I had no other options.

ANYWAY! Not the point. The point is that I started poking my nose back into the American Girl website, and then the wiki in order to try to figure out what all I'd missed, and I'm kind of being like "hey, I could hypothetically afford some of this stuff again now".

(I personally find it hilarious that the brand is trying to walk a line between "Addressing trans and nonbinary identities in our helpful book on puberty for preteens? Sure, we'll do that, we're progressive! Also did you say Harry Potter collaboration? That's a license to basically print money from customers who are nostalgic for the same era we were most popular in, let's do this", which is exactly the kind of seesawing I expect from Disney -- who owns American Girl via Mattel.)

So *anyway*, and this is the part of this post I'm really struggling with: I also used to be heavily involved in the part of the American Girl adult collectors fandom that describes itself as "queer-friendly and socially conscious". That part of the fandom runs the wiki (which is an extremely useful and well-constructed resource). I don't know who-all from those days may still follow me on Tumblr, and I'm actually not looking to cause drama, just sort of thinking out loud as I so often do on the tunglrs, but after five years away from the fandom and having poked my nose back in, I'm running into a royal shitton of memories (and a little new information) that's making me go "Holy fuck, this place was *incredibly* toxic, no wonder I got utterly burned out on trying to interact with the dolls and items the way they demanded everybody should. No wonder I still feel like I'm walking on eggshells to even say anything or post a picture related to this fandom."

So. Let's be real. I'm saying "the way they demanded". It's one person, backed up by other mods who don't create their own separate demands. This particular section of the fandom is ruled with an iron fist by one self-described Angry Black Woman who... the very kindest way I can find to describe it is, she's a walking talking demonstration of how you cannot create a single safe space that's safe for everyone. I made a post several years ago that went a little bit viral, where I pointed out that being uncomfortable with a very verbally aggressive black authority figure can actually be because of the "very verbally aggressive authority figure" part, say if you're a survivor of emotional abuse *koff koff*, and doesn't have to mean you're "uncomfortable with black anger" Because You're Racist. That post was a direct reaction to multiple instances of seeing this person tell people "you're pushing back against me being verbally abusive, that's a racist action on your part".

That's the kindest, most nonconfrontational way I can come up with to talk about the situation. Less tactfully, after going to look over the forum rules for this subsection of the fandom -- hoping to realize I'd just been an extremely sensitive tortellini at the time and they weren't that bad, because I know I was an extremely sensitive tortellini in other matters -- in actual fact, I've been reminded very loudly that these rules are a 13k essay on topics such as You Must Be Okay With Verbal/Emotional Abuse If It's Directed At You By People Of Color, All Cultures Of Color Are Closed Cultures Now (So Don't You Dare Put This Black Doll's Clothes On Any Other Doll), and the real kicker for me, Only Selected Queer Identities Are Suitable For Public Discussion (subsection We're Redefining Queerness To Exclude Polyamory, new since I was last here, with sub-subsection Oops We Didn't Mean To Exclude Asexuals Only Those Icky Cishets, and fun guessing game Are We Excluding Aromantics Or Did We Just Forget They Exist, Ask And See If You Get Banned).

I... genuinely didn't mean to go on that long. But this is exactly why I'm making this post. Because I have a *lot* of trauma from trying to figure out what's actually racist or offensive and what's not, while being in a community where anything the main mod doesn't like can suddenly be declared an offense against social justice, and if you ever step on her toes, you're likely to be relegated to the ranks of the damned (aka the white Christian mommybloggers who own more than six white dolls or less than 50% dolls of color). And as probably all of you know, I do a lot of thinking out loud about trauma. Which is a PROBLEM, because this person definitely still follows me here (I don't know who else from the fandom does), and Tumblr blocks don't keep people from seeing your posts, only interacting with them.

So. Uh. There's probably going to be... more of this. I'm making this post now because I'm almost done sewing a doll skirt, I want to show it off here, and I'm also having a really nasty anxiety attack over how this person is definitely going to metaphorically rip it to shreds in the dedicated forum thread for mocking homemade doll clothes (mostly from Etsy) that don't live up to her exacting standards of Historically Accurate Doll Costuming. (The skirt is gathered instead of using 1800s-style "cartridge pleats"! The horror!)

Yeah. So. Um. I guess... if you follow me from when I was last in AG doll fandom, here's where I stand, at least right now. I'm not going to name any names, but you likely know who I'm talking about. I'm not going to go after anybody or cause trouble on their blog, but I'm not going to pull any punches when I'm talking about the ways they and their policies have made me feel unsafe in the fandom. And I'm not going to follow their byzantine rules based on the concept that a single doll can only have one ethnicity and one backstory. A doll, in its essence, is a shapeshifter the way a character actor is a shapeshifter, and not all of us want to create 50+ fixed individual characters that can't wear each other's clothes.

If you can't live with any of that, feel free to go commiserate with each other. I'm not planning to go back to the forum, so don't worry that I'll see anything you say there. (I'm not even planning to publish the rules publicly, since they're not viewable when logged out, although they are a trip and a half to read without the context of the dramas that shaped them.)

If you're scared what will happen to your standing in the fandom if you like my posts or keep following me, though... maybe that's a place to start thinking.

#american girl #yeah i'm tagging it #i'm not turning off reblogs either #we'll see if anybody cares

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sablespiders · 1 year

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been crocheting a lot recently and it’s been really nice :) i’ve made a matching hat and scarf as well as a pillow i just need to stuff and close, and i’m working on a granny square tote bag.

afterwards i’m planning on making 2-3 shawls, arm warmers, and a baby blanket (for me not for a baby). most of these i’m making to improve my skills for the baby blanket since i’m awful at crochet and the blanket yarn was 50% alpaca and expensive + the alpaca yarn halo will be a bitch to frog.

after that i have some leftover yarn i was gifted that i want to turn into amigurumi, but i think i’ll have to start with a simpler pattern than the one i have planned for that which is fine. i have some books on crochet stitches and amigurumi patterns so i can learn.

i’m setting a sort of loose yarn in-yarn out policy because i don’t want to end up with more than i can use but honestly that’s not been remotely a problem. i’ve finished 3 projects and already had to move from “yarn i had lying around” to the new stuff i bought. hoping this momentum continues as a hobby over summer. if it does, i want to make my friends gifts for when they get back this fall

#HK speaks out

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morganlefaye79 · 2 years

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7 for Valaire

9 for Joris

29 for Vicco

and B for them all 😊

Thank you for your ask Jay! 🥰

7. What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

His father told him how to play drums, he still has his first drumsticks, one of them is broken. It always remembers him of his father and brings back the good memories from his childhood, but also the bad ones, like that his father gave him away to a corpo family. Even if he knows that this wasn't the truth, it was the truth for a 14 year old boy that just wanted to stay home.

When Joris showed Valaire a baby blanket, Valaire immediately knew what it was, he had the same blanket, he cuddled with it when he went to bed as a kid until it was beyond repair and he and his dad decided it is time to throw it away. He regrets that he had actually destroyed it. Now he always remembers his cuddle blanket when he sees something similar.

9. Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?

You did that on purpose didn't you? Well actually Joris doesn't swear that much. Although Dutch he doesn't wish people cancer, cholera or tuberculosis. He does swear in Flemish actually because he uses "Potverdikke" instead of the Dutch "Godverdomme". He dislikes to use any words that refer to religions he's not a part of. God doesn't mean anything to him, so why invoke their name?

29. Do they usually live up to their own ideals?

For most of their life they couldn't afford to have ideals. They did what they had to do to survive. They only managed from their early twenties to stabilize their own life, but then they still didn't have specific ideals, but at least some morals.

When they became a joytoy, they had to live up to the ideals of their clients and not their own.

They struggle in answering this question, actually, because they are never sure if those ideals are really their own, or just projected on them.

B) What inspired you to create them?

From the first time I played CP, the world and everything in it was more suited to a male protagonist imo, that's why I created Valaire after Veerle (who I actually laid to rest I guess), who only changed her LI from River to Judy.

Since I'm nonbinary myself I have no generally preferred "gender type" to play with and so it happened that I have now mostly male oc's.

Valaire was my first male V and I wanted to drop him in favor for Vicco as my canon V and I tried to put their stories together. Which ended in the canon I have now for them and Vicco being the lucky bastard that he is avoiding having Johnny Silverhand to deal with, because they would have hated each other.

After that I created Faye and Kilian because both are side characters in both stories.

And then Joris was there, actually just because I wanted a bit more drama in the story. I figured that Vicco and Joris would befriend each other and nothing more. I decided that Valaire and Vicco are both pansexual, and I wanted to make Joris Asexual. But then I had a what if moment, that was sparked through a friend last year in October. Since Helloween Vicco and Joris are a couple now and I changed Joris' asexuality also to pan.

In November I created my last oc, Kirian, who is Vicco's brother, but he is for now also a side character.

All side characters are mostly there because I'm also a writer and wanted to give faces to the names I use.

Vicco was actually from the start nonbinary in my head, but I somehow never stated it anywhere as of recently.

#uncommon questions #Valaire #Joris #Vicco

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adarhysenthe · 4 months

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Currently sewing on this patch to my denim jacket. It says, "This girl runs on true crime." Which is accurate!

The next picture is of my progress on the plush baby blanket I've been knitting. It's slowed down a bit because it's too big to carry around now, making it my at-home project only.

And the last is my most recent skein of yarn that I spun on my spinning wheel. I was trying to remember how to spin something soft and chunky. I think the roving was Corriedale wool, hand dyed, that was gifted to me from a friend.

#knitting #sewing #true crime #blanket #handspun #yarn

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literary-jams · 1 year

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Enchantment:

Hello Swifties and non swifties, this is my personal take on Taylor Swift, so lets get to know her through each other's perspectives. Her birthday is on 13th December 1989, which makes her a sagittarius baby. My introduction to Taylor Swift was actually through the songs "Blank Space" and "Look What You Made Me Do" a classic 2017 introduction. I was on the phase of my life when everyone around my age had just recently started using social media and hence the ultra popular figures like Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, etc. kept popping up a lot on our feed.

Bangalore weather is beautiful, it is a perfect blend of warm of sunshine, wet streets and windy evenings. Being somebody from the Eastern coastal region of Bengal, I find myself in my room often bundled up with blankets, coffee and Netflix.

Chilly weather has always been very dear to me and just the other day I came across the song " Back to December" by Taylor Swift. I sat there on my bed and memories came flooding back to me. I guess Taylor Swift has a certain hold on me like that, hence I thought who could be a better person to write about other than her.

Her birthday is on 13th December 1989, which makes her a sagittarius baby. My introduction to Taylor Swift was actually through the songs "Blank Space" and "Look What You Made Me Do" a classic 2017 introduction. I was on the phase of my life when everyone around my age had just recently started using social media and hence the ultra popular figures like Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, etc. kept popping up a lot on our feed.

Her first song ever Tim McGraw is about a boy she was dating who was going away to college. The first classic heartbreak and the sheer helplessness of the situation has been so beautifully brought out in the song. One of the main reasons I enjoy Taylor Swift songs so much is because they bring me comfort, I am obviously into other genres as well, and there was a certain time around the age when I was fifteen I used to swear by Eminem and NF. But I think I realized eventually with time that most people do not have a tragic life story. Sometimes maybe the biggest heartache in our life has been going through a break up but it is not a pain that is deniable. When we fall in love that is the most vulnerable we can be, because we willingly choose to trust a person with our emotions and when they break it could be excruciating and to come out and lyrically expressing yourself through it is quite courageous.

Album: Taylor Swift

Since her first Album we see quite a lot of rage and sadness in her lyrics and in her voice, for example "Picture to Burn" is a teenager's feelings about a person who might have been their first love but they borderline intentionally ruined their childhood fictional love story. In our young minds we secretly hope for the love at first sight and a happily ever after, more often than not we also tend to project the same onto our first relationship, but when the dream comes to a crashing halt its disheartening and we feel like a fool. We feel enraged and curse ourselves for being so naïve and hence the urge to burn the said person's picture.

Teardrops on my guitar is a song about being in love with your best friend. The longing for the person but unfortunately they are in love with someone else and you're probably deep in the friendzone. Being unreasonably envious of the other person and constantly comparing yourself to them is a classic human nature that not a lot of people might agree to, but it is an unconscious mistake we all make.

"Our Song" is a song about the thrill of a new relationship, the honeymoon phase where everything is perfect and both the parties are just unbelievably happy and obsessed with each other.

My best friend Ash just like me is a die hard Swiftie thus I thought it would an advisable idea to interview her about the exquisite love she feels for Taylor.

My first question to her was initially how did she start being invested in american music because as indian kids our main focus is always bollywood exposure in our life is quite prevalent and then gradually through some cousin or a friend we venture into hollywood. However her answer to this question was the introduction of spotify in our lives. She also added that she did not think she'd ever be interested in Taylor much as she had heard bad floating rumours about her but in spite of that in her young mind the song blank space has left such an impression that she continued to play the song in repeat which used to anger her mother a lot. A part of me believes she partially did so to annoy aunty but hey who am I to judge! This lead me to my third question "when did you start to actually hear the lyrics and enjoy the songs for the content and not just a catchy beat. Her answer to this question was the pandemic, which makes much sense as during that time of crisis everyone was just constantly in a search of a new hobby all the time. She had also mentioned that her favorite albums are the folklore and lover which is definitely two of the many things we have in common and hence I would like to venture in detail, later on in the blog. I also asked Ash about why she thinks Taylor Swift gets intertwined in so many controversies and her answer to that was blatant " because she doesn't care what people think of her" which is quite true as we have seen time and time again that in spite of many threats and hateful behavior she continues to talk about her love life without a care in the world. When asked about her favourite lyric of a Taylor song there was a long pause before she finally answered, its

"And I cut off my nose just to spite my face

Then hate my reflection, for years and years

I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost

The room is on fire, invisible smoke

And all of my heroes die all alone

Help me hold onto you"

Her reason was since our childhood we face alot of criticism which we convince ourselves that that it does not affect us while in reality it is like a stabbing knife slowing making its way through towards the other side of our body. We change ourselves or at least try to according to societal norms and in the process lose our individuality.

Through the albums over the years we see Taylor grow from a teenage angst to a mature woman.

Album: Lover

The theme varues from light comforts to grave songs about losing the people you love. For example "Soon you'll get better" is about a song when you find out that your loved one might pass aay because of a terminal illness. You try to comfort them and and yourself by saying "soon you'll get better" but unfortunately you know you're just living in a delusion. My favorite lines from the song is

" And I hate to make this all about me

But who am I supposed to talk to?

What am I supposed to do

If there's no you?" its a human dilemma that someone losing the person they love, find themselves in. We know that the person going through the illness has no control over their circumstances yet we cant stop thinking about ourselves the life we will end up having without them. We despise them for falling sick and we despise them for making us love them. We feel selcish for thinking that way yet we cant help but do so.

Taylor Swift also addresses alot of her controversies through her songs for example the song "The Man" she points out the hypocrisy of society. If a man lived her life he wod be appreciated. He'd be someone desirable and unattainable. People would not shake their heads in disapproval or question the integrity of her success. So, "if I was man, then I'd be the man".

Album: Folklore

This is the most appreciated album because first off it was a surprise album but apart from that it has beautiful tracks like Cardigan, August and Betty. The entire album is a fictional love triangle between Betty, James and an unned woman. The line "I knew you'd miss me once the thrill was over" it is a beautiful line depicting the fleetingness of human feelings. Once the honeymoon phase is over, more often than not people tend to get bored and tired of the affair. August is a song from the perspective of the unnamed woman, she speaks about how her month long affair with James fleeted away in a moment. She honestly fell in love with a man who was never really hers to begin with. My most favourite line of the song August is "I'd cancel my plans just in case you'd call". It sums up the entire relationship, she is so enthralled by the man that just a mere possibility of meeting him makes her cancel all the plans she has.

Taylor Swift has a song for every occassion when it comes to feelings, whether it is about loving someone else or loving ourselves. Her albums are like stories that help us predict our mind frame better and makes us feel better and unapologetic about just being human.

#taylor swift #best friends #lovers #artists on tumblr

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ajaxsbeloved · 2 years

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-: directors cut :-

feat. childe, albedo, and kaeya

genre. modern! au, fluff, short fics

summary. what role gets the genshin men to fall for actor! reader (female reader)

warnings. kinda rushed i apologize

childe

childe’s little brother LOVES watching tv, but unlike most children he loves to watch romance dramas. for what reason? who knows! but regardless whenever childe comes home from the holidays teucer forces him onto the couch to watch his dramas, mostly recently he’s been obsessed with a drama youre starring in.

childe grabs the popcorn and blankets for him and his brother, when he walks into the family room he finds teucer already glued to the screen. a scene of a young woman taking care of a baby is shown, he sits down and teucer tells him all about the show.

the show is about a 21 year old girl (played by you) who finds herself taking care of a child left on her doorstep, through the struggles of everyday tasks you learn to grow and care for the child. it’s a comedy but it’s sweet and carefree!

eventually after a few episodes childe is just as obsessed teucer is and finds himself completely immersed in your role. in his spare time he researches all about the cast and you leading him to find out how close in age you are. after watching multiple interviews and videos about you on youtube he’s head over heels, follows your fan sites and projects and all the other things.

after a good while the avid fanboy finds tickets to an event that you’re going to meet and greet fans with, he takes teucer and happily meets you though is a bit jealous when teucer jumps into your arms. (jealous or more in love? same difference)

and of course being the charmer he is he manages to slip in some flirty comments causing you to blush and enjoy his company, before leaving he slips you his phone number and it’s not a surprise that in bed that night he kicked his feet when receiving a text message from you.

albedo

albedo was never one for shows or dramas but he every once and a while sucrose recommended him one that she thought would suit his taste. however he decided to watch this one under the pretense of “research”

the drama is about two best friends who enter a chemistry internship, one with smarts and the other (played by you) being super dumb. despite how bad you are at chemistry you give it your best and through making friends and learning about college life you somehow don’t blow up the lab!

though your stupidity annoyed him albedo found himself relating to your state of confusion as well as curiosity, he was intrigued enough that he rewatched the drama many times and analyzed your character as a study of human emotion.

while he was quite an enjoyer of your character and the show as a whole he never went out of his way to see you or research you on your own, however one day he stumbled upon you in public.

finding courage he managed to introduce himself and compliment your performance, he did quite a bit of conversing and found your presence easy to relax with! he was surprised that despite how different in person you were you were just as charming as the character you portrayed.

and of course albedo being albedo caused you to be charmed, you ended up asking if he was busy anytime soon and if he wanted to sit down for coffee with you one day! he agreed (while secretly smiling inside) and the rest was history <3

kaeya

this guy is a sucker for dramas, he loves the action and intensity of them. he spends most of his time in his office cubicle pretending to work while actually watching shows, recently though he found a very interesting one with a good plot twist!

the story was of a beloved hero (you) who can’t seem to know how she got to her own current self, throughout the series she learns of her own past and pieces together her origin story. however the show takes a turn when she becomes a villain after learning of her past, the show is about identity and secrets as well as becoming who you really are.

if kaeya was a sucker before he’s even more of a sucker now, he rewatches the show multiple times just for your character development and is astounded by your acting skills for doing such a unique plot.

he talks his tongue off to his coworkers and diluc about the show and is recommending it right and left, he’s probably the number 1 promoter for the drama and eventually diluc makes a deal that if he gets to meet you that he’d shut up about the show.

kaeya agrees and being a man with connections diluc manages to befriend people who are in your inner circle and thus kaeya meets you by becoming a mutual “friend” of diluc, upon meeting you and learning about your behavior he becomes only more enamored by your depth of though and real complexity outside of your role.

you two become quite close friends through long talks about your past and how you cope with your struggles, finding comfort in him you open up and trust each other with your hardest struggles and most buried secrets!

tagged: @tighnarisweetheart @z3nitsusgf

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geronimowrites · 3 years

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Haikyuu characters and what oddly specific punishments I think they would give you

18+ content | MINORS DO NOT INTERACT |

CW: minor discussion of disordered eating (unintentionally missing meals)

Warnings: BDSM, spanking, power imbalance, humiliation, bondage

Sensory deprivation nap time - He gets tired of your constant fussing, so he decides his baby needs a little alone time to settle down. Maybe blocking out the world for a bit with noise-canceling headphones, a thick blindfold, and some soft restraints would be good for you. He’ll wrap you up in a blanket for good measure, before relaxing with a nice book in the corner until your squirming inevitably stops and you fall asleep.

ADRIAH, WASHIO, Sugawara, ENNOSHITA, YAHABA, HANAMAKI, TENDOU

Ask permission- This man is going to get grey hairs much too early from all the stress your risky behavior puts him under. He’s walked in on you trying to reach the tallest shelves while balancing on a wobbly stool, seen you run down the stairs with your hands full without a care in the world, watched you nearly cut your fingers off while cooking, and he’s HAD IT. He can’t trust you to not do something stupid, so he makes you ask for everything like a little kid. Getting up to go to the bathroom? “Where do you think you’re going?” “Did you ask for permission? I didn’t think so. Sit down.” Have fun with that for the next week.

DAICHI, ASAHI, Lev, Aran, Goshiki, HINATA

Hand feeding: He absolutely understands that you forget to eat sometimes, most everyone does at some point, but it’s gotten excessive recently. You’re just so busy with school and all your projects that sitting down to have a meal hasn’t been your top priority, but that’s got to change. He won’t force you to eat if you really don’t want to, but he just needs to know you’re eating something when you do. He’ll take away your utensil privileges, opting to feed you from his plate instead, uncaring of the humiliation that puts you under when you’re out in public or at a dinner with friends. His baby needs to be fed~❤️

OSAMU, Ushijima, Omimi, AKAASHI, Akiteru, Yamaguchi, AONE

Over the knee spanking - You know his rules, you know how he operates, so it baffles him how you’re so confident with teasing him in public. Whether it be wandering hands, a whispered word, or a naughty picture sent over text, you’re going to get it once he has you alone. When he does, your tears won’t stop him, your begging won’t stay his hand, and he won’t be satisfied until your ass is bright red, splotched with bruises, and radiating heat.

MEIAN, Kuroo, IWAIZUMI, Sakusa, MATSUKAWA, Bokuto

No talking - If there’s one thing this man cannot stand, it’s you mouthing off to him and thinking that you can get away with it. He can put up with a good bit of attitude, but once it passes a certain threshold it’s game on. He’ll squeeze your cheeks in one hand, pulling you in close just so he can tell you he’s putting you on mute. If you need to say something, you have to whisper it in his ear so he can repeat it for you. After all, whiny babies don’t get listened to.

OIKAWA, Kita, Tsukishima, Kenma, SUNA, Atsumu, Kageyama

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gotnofucks · 3 years

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Will you make me a drabble where I ask Steve to be my daddy or just make him my daddy🥺🥺👉👈 love you bestie!!

Title: The Journey to Daddy

Pairing: Steve x Reader

Summary: Five times you call Steve ‘daddy’, and the one times he asks you to.

Words: 1.6k

Warning: slight smut, daddy kink, some jealousy and possessiveness, 18+ Only

A/N: There is only one person who can ever make me go soft. Berry, this is for you. Love you more my queen @donutloverxo

+++++

Sometimes, you felt like an onion. You had a lot of layers around you: secrets, insecurities, dreams you were scared of living, things that were never said. And every time, it felt like Steve would peel a layer to expose the truest form of you. You'd never felt as naked as you did when his eyes were fixed on you, with no judgement or question, only love.

You'd been going out for months now, learning about each other, exploring your boundaries. Steve was the most attentive boyfriend. He was caring and respectful, always there for you before you even asked for him. He'd lift you up when you needed something from the top shelf. He'd cook for you because he knew you liked the domestic look on him. He'd tickle you to tears when you were down, trailing kisses down your forehead to your nose to your chin before blowing a raspberry on the hollow of your neck that would have you giggling.

Steve was so perfect, and it was very unconscious the first time you called him Daddy. You were in the kitchen and had broken a plate when Steve came rushing out, carrying you away from the wreckage to make sure you were okay. he wouldn't let you clean it, afraid you'd hurt yourself.

"You're okay baby?" He had asked.

"Yes daddy" you had softly replied into his neck, soothed by his smell. And though he didn't say anything, the thought kept running in his head. Daddy?

Your cries got higher with each thrust, nails digging into Steve’s shoulder as he pumped into you. He loved it when you got like this, all dumbed down and messy, garbling words that felt like poetry to him. You came around him again, squeezing his length between the velvety walls of your sex and he released into you with a growl.

Sweaty and spent, you looked a beauty to him as you laid under his naked body covered in his essence. His large body framed yours and as he leaned in to kiss your glistening and bruised lips, you tiredly said, "I love you, daddy".

He stilled, whispering a love you back before collapsing next to you. Looking at you drifting away, he got up to clean you and cover you up, holding you close as his thoughts ran wild. There it was again. Daddy. Why did you call him that?

Your birthdays were more important to Steve than they were to you. Every time, even when you’d not been dating, Steve would pull all stops for your birthday. He’d arrange a party that would consist only of your closest friends and family, cook all your favorite food, and would make sure everyone got you a present you liked.

There was that time Steve had made a list and gave it out. “Just get her something from this. I know what she likes.” Idiot. He should have put only his name on the list, since there was nothing you wanted more than him. Today, as you celebrated this day as a couple, he decided to make it intimate and private.

He decorated the balcony in your favorite fairy lights, lightening soft candles and putting your favorite flowers everywhere so that it smelled divine. You both sat under the stars, holding each other as you snuggled in the blanket, talking in hushed tone.

“What did you wish for when you blew the candles?” He asked, pressing his lips on the crown of your head. You looked at him, eyes reflecting the candles that danced in the wind.

“I have everything I want. Here.” You said, touching his chest. “You’re all I want. Thank you for today, daddy.”

You kissed him, not noticing the slight hitch in his breath as you said that. Daddy, he liked how that sounded.

The sounds of typing were a normal in your house, but it bothered Steve when it went past midnight for the third night in a row. He saw you stifle another yawn, rubbing at your eyes as you tried to finish this project on time. You worked way too hard if you asked him.

“Baby, come to bed. It’s late.”

“I can’t, really need to get this done.”

Steve sighed, washing your now empty coffee mug before sitting beside you. He counted three more yawns along with four curses whispered under your breath and he knew he needed to step in. Gently stopping your hand, he turned you to face him and cupped your face.

“You still have four days before you need to turn this in. Come to bed honey, you’re tired and I don’t wanna sleep without you.”

You pouted, tired and internally glad that he finally stopped you. Nodding, you allowed him to more or less carry you into the bedroom and put you into pajamas, tucking you into the warmth of his body as he turned out the lights.

“Sleep, sweetheart. I’ll make you your favorite breakfast tomorrow so you’re all charged up for another day of working. I love you.”

His arms came around you, your back to his chest. Tangling your fingers with his, you pressed a sleepy kiss on his knuckles before whispering into the dark, “good night daddy. Love you too.”

The fifth time you did it, you scared him.

The Avengers Gala was something Steve hated and loved. He loved he could have you on his arm, his girl to proclaim before the world. His friends got together and had a nice time, and people he hadn’t seen for a while surfaced too.

What Steve couldn’t handle was the audacity of men to ogle you. Despite you being on his arm, they would follow you with their creepy eyes, trying to sneak in a word whenever someone pulled him away from you. He knew he mustn’t be jealous; if there was anything Steve was ever secure about, it was your love for him. But he couldn’t stand still watching some good for nothing bastard try to win you over with a pick up line that was older than he was.

“Excuse me gentlemen” He almost growled, taking your arm possessively before whisking you away into a dark corner, intent on having you all to himself. You rolled your eyes, used to this act by now. You’d never told him, but it was almost endearing watching a man like him get so antsy over you.

“You can’t always hide me away!” You chided him but didn’t push him away. You preferred his company over any other, and if were to take you home right now, you wouldn’t mind. Steve bit his lips before cutting a glance to the men who were flirting with you earlier, a snarl lodged in his chest.

“No, but I can do this!” His lips crashed on yours, pulling you into a deep kiss that tasted of his power and love. You melted into his touch, arms hooking around his neck to bring him down to your height, tongues tangling together in a sloppy kiss. Steve didn’t let up until you had to finally break to breath, both panting hard.

“What was that for?” You asked, softly touching your lips that tingled.

“To remind everyone that you belong to me!” He said, pulling you closer. You smiled, pressing another kiss on his lips before tucking your head under his neck.

“Of course I belong to you daddy.”

He spent the rest of the party distracted. You’d called him that a lot recently. But why? Did you want him to be a daddy? You'd both decided to never to have children in the early days of getting together. Why then did you call him daddy? And why did it send a thrill down his back? God, he hoped you weren't pregnant.

+ 1

The morning after the party, he woke you up with kisses trailing down your neck, soothing the sting of the bites he had placed there last night. As you whimpered, wanting to sleep some more, he pushed a hand under your top to tickle your ribs, smiling as you giggled and squirmed.

“Steve!” You squealed as he reached under your breast. He chuckled before kissing up your exposed tummy, loving the sounds of your laughter as he reached your mouth and pressed deep and slow kisses there.

“Good morning.” He said, nuzzling his nose into you. You sighed in happiness, snuggling into him and breathing in his scent.

“Good morning.”

You stayed that way for a while, him gently rocking you back and forth as you hummed, enjoying the quiet morning together. It was after a few minutes that Steve spoke.

“Why do you call me daddy?”

A sudden shyness came over you and you buried your face deeper into his chest, not speaking. Steve tutted, gently pulling you back and titling your face up to meet his eyes.

"Do you want us to have a kid?" Steve asked and you shook your head.

"No." You said, embarrassed.

"Then why do you call me daddy?"

You looked at him with glittering eyes, cupping his cheek softly that was threatening to develop a scruff if not shaved.

"Because I trust you." You said. "I never have to hide from you, never have to worry. You look after me, you love me unconditionally. You care about me in a way no one has ever before. When you take charge, it makes me feel good. I love it when you guide me in bed. I love it when you step up and look after me. Calling you daddy puts those feelings into words."

Steve couldn't look away from you and your eyes. The love and trust you put in him made him a better person, it made him feel worthy. All he ever wanted in life was to have someone to call his own, to hold them and love them and never let any harm come to them. Looking into your eyes, he knew he had all he wanted. He held you closer and tighter, brushing your lips with his.

"Say it again then, baby."

"Daddy"

#steve rogers x reader #steve x reader #daddy!steve rogers #steve rogers

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aconstantstateofbladerunner · 3 years

Text

The Glitch

I get the Broken Reality au is a haha funny joke but there’s been some legit great art for it and since Butterfly is over and I haven’t gotten into the groove of my other projects yet, I decided to try some flash fiction of my interpretations. Note that this is very small and informal; I used whatever idea came into my head over the course of an hour or so instead of the weeks of planning that go into my usual fics. This was an experiment for fun. But if people enjoy the concept, I may be tempted to expand on it.

Credit to @lollitree @moonpaw @gentrychild @owlf45 and @cyber-phobia (I’m sorry if I missed someone I lost track of how many people were involved in this mess).

Content working for reference to infant death.

Please enjoy!

The city shut down for a typhoon warning. Thunder rumbled in the distance. Dark clouds blocked the sun so much that by mid-morning it still looked like it never bothered coming up. And yet the humidity made it too hot for coffee. Inko didn’t know how to feel. Work would have been a good distraction. But she didn’t want any coworkers or clients to see if today got to be too much. And it was already shaping up to be. She caught herself making two plates of food for breakfast.

Inko sat alone in the kitchen. She couldn’t bring herself to finish her own plate. Sickness set in fast. The food had been cold for a long time before she summoned the strength to get up and throw it away. Then she stood over the open trash can a while, debating whether to try and hold it together, or just throw up and get it over with. She eventually managed to keep her stomach steady enough to go back to her bedroom. There was another trashcan in there anyway.

A sound stopped her. From her office. The distinct sound of something heavy falling onto the carpet. Right as she walked past the door.

Please not this again…

She opened the door with her eyes closed. Her mind conjured a familiar image. A bedroom full of books and hero posters. Bright colors and personal touches. A child’s room. Inko opened her eyes to her drab home office. Some of the older case file binders slipped off the pile again. She really needed to sort those into storage. Not today though. She didn’t bother to pick it up.

Inko walked faster than normal the rest of the way to her room. She doesn’t want to face the temptation to search for old toys she remembers storing in the empty closet. Or search the walls for scuff marks from action figures tossed into them she could always see even after the walls were painted. She hid her planner on a tall shelf and put the ladder away to make it that much harder to go through it over and over looking for doctors’ appointments and school events she knew were coming up. Finally reaching her bed brought no comfort.

Of course she knew today’s date by heart. She hadn’t put it on a calendar in the fourteen years since she used to look at it every day. Inko stuck her head under her pillows, as if they could block out the silent noise of her memories. Memories of before, the time even when she was by herself, she was never alone.

Fifteen years now, today. With a shuddering gasp, the tears finally came. Thunder crashed outside. It’s not fair! Why is it still this hard after this long? Phantom kicks in her belly joined the growing ice there.

The hardest part was she still felt like that sometimes. Like she wasn’t really alone. Inko didn’t believe in ghosts, but the lost of what could have been was more than haunting enough. She felt it watching her. Judging her. Waiting just long enough for her to settle down into a peaceful, content existence before it reared up to plague her heart all over again. Cliché hauntings like spooky faces in the mirror or blood coming out of the drains would have been preferable. Those would be generic enough not to remind her directly.

Rain started outside. Her phone lit up with a notification she ignored in time with a thunderclap. The storm was getting closer.

Maybe I should call Hisashi, the thought crossed her mind. Maybe he’s going through this too. She bit her lip bloody. Her frustrated memories weren’t in question like the others. Probably not though. I don’t want to talk to him anyway.

Hisashi had been stuck in the denial stage of grief, which often came off as him acting like he didn’t take hers seriously. Not a year, not even half a year looking back, after they came home from the hospital, he wanted to try again.

“We can’t let mourning hold us up forever,” he said. “And it’s not like we lost a once in a lifetime opportunity! We’ve got at least another twenty years to keep trying!”

But we did lose him! she had wanted to scream. Still did, years later. Why didn’t he understand? He was your loss too! Inko wanted for the next roll of thunder, then shouted.

“I don’t just want any baby! I want Izuku!”

The lights went out. The temperature rose five degrees instantly when the ceiling fan stopped going. The rain stopped.

Power outage. Inko sat up with a sniffle. Turns out the notification was a warning about roving blackouts. Of course. Oh well. I wasn’t really in the mood to cook tonight any-

Thunder boomed even louder than before, making her jump. Then another. Lightning flashed outside at the same time. It was right on top of her.

What? I thought the typhoon wasn’t supposed to make landfall until later toni-

Another crash. It vibrated through her bones. Then another. The lightning lit up her whole room. Except for a shadow on the wall. Inko jolted to look, holding her breath, and found only her own shadow in the next flash.

“I’m such an idiot…” She went for her phone again. For peace of mind, she decided to use her data to check if an evacuation order went out. Or any updates at all really, since the weather came so much faster than the news said. “Nothing,” she sighed annoyed. “I hate being alone for weather like this…”

A new notification pinged.

[Mom]

Inko blinked rapidly. The message remained. All of her insides turned inside out in an instant, and she started crying again. Was this someone’s idea of a sick joke? No one ever got a chance to call her that. She touched the note to open it, but nothing happened. No app or source was displayed. Nor did it go away after a few seconds like normal.

“Wha- What’s going on?” she wept. In a mix of sorrow and rage, she wound up to chunk the device across the room. But she froze.

Outside her window, floating against the pitch-black sky, were two small orbs. Perfectly circular and glowing. Watching her. She didn’t dare move.

Another ping. She looked without moving.

[I’m sorry]

“… What?”

For a moment, all the sounds in the world dropped out. They all came back at ounce.

Lights flickered. Both the ones inside and the lightning going outside. Multiple strikes laid on top of one another. No relief. Thunder pounded over and over like a drum solo. It shook the whole building. Inko ran into the closet away from the window. She slammed her hands over her eyes but it didn’t help. Her terrified cried were whispers to the screams of the storm.

A child’s scream. She heard it. Each flash of light came with a cry. The distinct sound of a little boy calling out in pain blended with unyielding nature. It came from every direction. Every hair on Inko’s arms stood up in fear. She felt the charge in the air. But she had to go out. Her baby was crying for help.

She burst from the closet into the living room. All the lights and appliances turned themselves on and off. The TV showed only static between its flashes. Something drew her too it. The storm was deafening. It pounded through her head like a heartbeat. The beats got faster. The static flashes started to look like a face. Her usual caution was abandoned as she fell to her knees and touched the screen. The snow cleared for a single instant. Just long enough to look like the blank eyes from the window. She felt the heartbeat there too.

Then it stopped. All of it. The noise and lights all went quiet and dark. The TV went completely cold in an instant. Inko, stunned, palmed over it looking for something. Anything. The pulse. Warmth. A burnt fuse or faulty wire. But nothing. The rain started again.

She pulled her hands back to her lap. Her heart was still racing and tears kept flowing down under her chin. She looked around. Everything in the living room and kitchen looked the same. No sign of the earthquake-like convolutions the whole appartement experienced only minutes ago. Inko combed the entire space for evidence. An object knocked off the shelf. A picture frame fallen from the wall. The notifications. Toys in the closet or scuffs in the wall. Still not a sign. She even stepped outside her door to check the sky. Only light rain and shattered thunder, just like the news said the day before.

There was only one thing out of place. Back in her bedroom, the bottom drawer of her nightstand hung open. Inko had to steal herself before approaching it. There were only two things in there: a little green blanket, and a picture of the ultrasound. The most recent one from her last appointment. The doctor said he was doing fine.

“Izuku…” she whispered to it in her hand.

She remembered the squealing little bundling being put in her arms for the first time. The first time he smiled at her. Teaching him to walk, then immediately launching into play. Him coming home with bruises and scrapes after the kids at school were mean to him, and crying in her arms. Then, him coming home with his first real friends in a long time. She made them all dinner. Katsudon. That was Izuku’s favorite.

Only she didn’t remember. The same way she didn’t really remember the toys and scuffs. Those were fantasies. Daydreams of what could have been. She just thought about them so often they felt like memories. Especially today. It was his birthday after all. They’d fade back into vague dreams by tomorrow. They always did.

And she would be left with reality. The silence. The cold, still little hand between her fingers. Soft cheeks without blush. Eyes that never opened. Clutching him too tight to her chest, knowing the second she let go he would be gone for real and it would all be over.

But it was never over. Inko went through this same torturous song and dance every year for fifteen now. All the guilt and dread would subside slowly over the next one, until it all came back at once. Just like this.

At least it’s done for now, she tried to reassure herself, climbing back into bed. It still wasn’t even noon yet. Plenty of time for another breakdown. Hopefully the next one won’t be, feel, as loud. She sighed heavily into her sheets. This sort of thing can’t be normal. I should really try therapy again.

Against her better judgement, she kept the blanket out, and clutched it to her chest. Static electricity pricked her fingers. With her other hand, she reached across the bed, and tried to imagine someone else there. Not Hisashi, never him anymore. Izuku. He was fifteen and happy, but the storm was making him nervous so he came to lay beside her. She remembered it like it was now. If she closed her eyes, she could feel his warm, soft skin, with a healthy, if a little anxious heartbeat just underneath. The mattress warped as he sighed.

“We’ll be okay. It’s just a little rough weather,” she promised.

“Okay, Mom,” Izuku answered quietly. “… I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” I’ll start trying to get myself together tomorrow. For now, let me have this.

Izuku didn’t respond for a while. “I love you.”

“I love you too, baby. Happy birthday.”

#midoriya inko #midoriya izuku #broken reality au #the glitch #mha #bnha #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #aconstantstateoffanfiction #april fools #the long con

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arcadejohn127-9 · 4 years

Note

Heyyy, I hope you’re doing ok! I love ur blog and I know we’re strangers who will possibly never meet but Recently, the little things have pushed me over the edge and close to an anxiety attack I presume but I’ve been using knitting and crochet to cope. It sounds weird Ik, but may u do the brothers and Undateables with an MC who does that and MC just ends up making so much stuff in one day that she gives it away to them. I’m so sorry if it’s weird, pls feel free to choose whether to do it or not but this blog has made me a little happier than before, thank you for reading and being here!

I actually use to do knitting, never finished anything and lost interest but it was really calming and fun. Couldn't keep my attention for long as it was very repetitive and got boring quickly but I always just genuinely enjoyed it despite that?

Stress knitting seems like the most wholesome way to handle anxiety and stress, it helps you focus on something else, you're being productive and having fun aswell as being safe! Though do be careful with the needles

And thank you for being here and supporting me, I'm glad I could make you feel even a little bit happier, a small amount of happiness is better than none! So thank you for making my night with how kind you are! Your habit and anxiety relief isn't weird at all, I don't see how it could be weird tbh

Sorry this took so long, I feel stupid now but I got really stumped on some of them on what to make but now I'm laughing at myself due to how obvious they were

Lucifer:

You made him mug holders and now it's all he uses

"It's very useful, I'll take extra care of it - no need to worry."

He can handle the heat but he must use what you've made

You even made a massive sweater and socks for Cerberus

How you got his dogs measurements is beyond him but it was the most prominent things he uses from your biggest pile

But he was no fool, he knew you

He knew your habits and how you've grown more anxious

He isn't always the most available person with his emotions and with his schedule

But he was always willing to listen to your issues

Mammon:

You made him a money pouch - how could he not be happy??!!

He loves jingling it to hear all his latest 'finds'

What was even better you made him a sweater he got to wear for his modeling job and show off to Everyone

That article was an interesting find

"CHECK IT! everyone loved your sweater! I say we can make a bussiness with this."

But when you come handing him a large bag full of your latest projects he can't help but raise a brow

He's greedy, he loves being showered in gifts

But he knew you, he took note on your emotional

He got pouty but he hugged your shoulders

Reminding you that you can always come to him and he'll make you feel better

Levithan:

You made him knitted wrist support, for his long gaming sessions

He wears them pretty much everyday at this point

Not only are they comfortable and helpful

But you made them! Specifically for him! For him to use! YOU MADE IT!

Has bragged to his gaming friends about it one too many times

"My player 2 is obviously better than yours, does yours knit cute things for you? I thought so."

Also you made him a crotchet plush of his favourite animal crossing chatacter, he prefers the Devildom version of the game but he's a sucker for bright cute things

Anything he could he'd either put in on his desk or on his figure cupboards

But when you come in with a massive pile, strained smile he felt himself panic

You both have anxiety, you were comrades in it! So of course he knew how knitting was part of your coping mechanism

He felt annoyed and worried on why you weren't coming to him but quickly calmed himself down, when he saw he patted your head

Explaining you can always come to him because you're in this together

He definitely stole a line or two from his latest favourite media

Satan:

Crotchet chair cat paw socks was his favourite out of the pile

"They're little paws..... I need these for all my furniture!"

His second favourite is the baggy sweater you knitted for him

He's going to cherish these gifts until he dies

Which could be never

Though even in death he'd be keeping what you've made him

Worried about the massive increase as he knows it's coping for your anxiety

He's read books about anxiety so he has a fair amount of knowledge on it

Insists you can always come to him when you're worried

Asmodeus:

He adored everything you made!

The sweater had little holes in them? He doesn't care and even smirks at the holes

"wanting to expose my beautiful skin~? I don't blame you."

Made a scarf? He'll wear that instead of his usual black one

Just knitted squares or unwearable things? Proudly shows off your work

Is concerned you've been so ridden with anxiety

He wants to help as much as he can, he has teas and bath scents for these kind of things

Just say the word and he'll bring all of it out

Beezlebub:

A crotchet layered burger he can take apart because it's velcro-ed together??!

It's like a real burger!

He tries not to bite or chew on it but it has happened before

Would feel awful if he accidentally ripped it

"I love it, are you going to make more?"

Didn't expect for you to actually make more

As time went on he learned that it helps you calm down from anxiety

So he especially didn't expect you to come in with a massive bag full of your latest creation's

He immediately got worried

You wanted to show them off to distract your mind but he just grabbed your head

Gently moving it so you looked at him

He told you he wants to help and he'll be there for you, no matter what and no matter when

Belphegor:

You made him w blanket - you know how young children are normally seen with baby blankets? Just always carrying them around

Yeah that's him

"You can't make me take it off Lucifer-! This is MY gift from (Y/N) and I'm going to make sure everyone sees it!"

Always showing off the blanket you made him by carrying it around or having it wrapped around him

He loves it! He also loves the pillow covers you made! It helps spice up his pillow collection

But you can't hide your anxiety from him, he goes out of his way to give people it

And soon he found out how kitting was a coping mechanism

He felt a little special you were making him things because it calmed you down but also worried about your mental health

The concern RISED when you were in the attic, placing and organising the big pile you had

He hugged you and flopped onto the bed

Telling you that he'll look after you and you can tell him what's wrong, stress naps are always welcomed with him

UNDATEABLES↓

Diavolo:

Didn't expect to find such a huge pile of new stuff in his room

He saw mug holders and mits

Horn warmers

And his favourite- a shawl with tassels, he immediately wrapped it around him and refused to take it off

He's going to wear this everywhere no matter his outfit

"Barbatos can be strict but I'll wear this no matter what, if I even see a spec of dirty on it I'll make sure to get it cleaned with delicate care."

But then it hit him, you become more active with your hobby when you become anxious

He immediately got to you, asking you if you're okay

He's ready to charge your whole class schedule if he has to

Barbatos:

You crocheted desserts and he never felt so much warmth and love in his heart

Almost collapsed from sweetness when he found a knitted pair of gloves in the big pile of your creation's

Appreciates the gifts alot

"these are marvelous, I look forward to see what else you make."

Brings you calming teas as a thank you, understanding your anxiety must be high

Offers a shoulder to cry on and happy to take time out of his schedule to listen to your worries

He asks you to teach him so he can make things like you

He wants to repay you for all the things you've given him

Solomon:

Has a whole room dedicated to everything you've ever made and given him

Whenever he has guests he likes to take them to check out your creations

"Come and admire my collection, My apprentice made these, aren't they neat?"

The potion sacks you've made are extremely useful

Aswell as the coldrain mat

Can sense your anxious energy in the newest creation's and gets concerned

He'll invite you over to talk about what's wrong

Let's you to take your time incase you're comfortable to talk

Simeon:

His favourite amongst the massive pile was a cute crotchet octopus

It was nicely stuffed and felt so nice to rest his head on

Others that peaked his fancy were the long wrist warmers you made, the way you made it made it look like lace

Aswell as a shawl and the very well made bag to store his books in

"You're so thoughtful, I'll treasure them all."

But he noticed just how worked up you've been and knew your anxious habits

Sat you down for tea to ask what how you're feeling and if could help

Also offers to be a guardian angel and make sure you don't get so anxious

If he can he'll wear an entire outfit made out of your knitting

Luke:

Is in awe how much you gave him

Almost died with Happiest when you knitted him a new hat

The crotchet wings you made just made him bounce with joy

He loves everything!!!

"I'm going to wear everything you've made and carry the little crochet puppy with me everywhere! I promise I'll take good care of him!"

Though will always check in on you

Once he's learned you do it more or only when you're really anxious he'll want to do everything he can to help

Has looked up guides on how to help people with their anxiety and panic attacks

He's going to be your guardian angel!

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sailorhyunjinz · 3 years

Note

What do you think first kiss with skz be like?

aAWH SOME FLUFF T-T OK BUT KEEP IN MIND- fluff is not my strongest pursuit hence why im not a fluff writer hahsah but HEY ITS CUTE!! and anon,,, im so sorry this took such time IM SO SO SORRY AAAAAAAAH-

also this makes me wanna know my anons first kiss story, AAAH SPILL THEM

warnings; none?? fluff,,, wow,, rare to say that LMAO- also gn!reader and also suggestiveee??

Bangchan

~gentleman~

will only kiss you if you are REALLY ready for it and if the two of you are dating

doesnt want to rush you into things (even if its just a kiss) because he doesnt know how comfortable you are and such

basically a sweetheart

i imagine its like a cute little date

night where you guys are stargazing, lying on a blanket on a grassy hill with his arm as a pillow for your head

“chan, look! its a shooting star! make a wish” you giggle to which he smiles, looking at your pretty features that are lit up by the moonlight

“hmm,,, dear star, i wish that y/n would kiss me” he says, laughing directly after but soon being interupted as you attach your plushy lips against his

its probably the most romantic event in your life

him smiling into the kiss as your tongues danced around softly

when you pulled away you laughed, saying; “wishes do really come true, huh?”

poor baby is blushing, his ears red but thankfully for him its too dark for you to see

Minho

the “evil roommate that secretly has feelings for you”

“lee minho i swear im gonna rip your hair off if you touch my plants again”

minho got out of his room, looking at you standing in the living room and rearranging the plants on the windowsill

“they are all scattered, it’s ugly” he says rudely

“dont call my children ugly” you spit back at him

there was always a weird tension between you and minho. you were glad to have found a roommate that made a good friend eventhough he was a pain in the ass sometimes

minho liked you,,, and therefore he did everything the opposite of what he felt. if he wanted to compliment you on your outfit he would instead say that you looked “overdressed” or “too much” but you always rolled your eyes towards his snarky comments

you pecked your plants, giving them the love they needed and minho just stood frozen in the doorway, without thinking he spoke

“how come you never do that to me?”

silence

you sneered, placing down the plant you held and streched out your arms

“c’mere if you dare” you said jokingly, not expecting the boy you always thought was so devilish to run into your arms, lips touching and your eyes widening at the unexpected action

the two of you held each other, breathing shaky as wet tongues collided, the sun beaming upon your figures

“m-minho,,, it was a joke!” you laughed, slapping his arm playfully as you pulled away

“but to me it wasn’t” he remarked cockily, licking the inside of his cheek

Changbin

very much giving me like “we dont like each other but we have to work with each other”

like you two are co-workers, working in a boring office and you were assigned to put together this one report and,,, lets say Changbin wasnt your favorite in the office

there was nothing wrong with him,,, its just his vibe that was off putting but sigh,,, work is work

you started compiling information, sitting in a seperate room and drawing graphs on the whiteboard, projecting some other type of research onto the board

“do you think we will need to stay late?” he asks, ruffling his hair in frustration

you sigh and nod, this wasnt going to get done anytime soon.

dawn set on horizon and the others workers packed up their belonging one by one and left until there was only you and changbin left in the now quiet office

you sat next to him, yawning as you typed something as you felt him looking at you

you looked back with a questionable expression, confused when he uttered his words

“do you hate me, y/n?”

“i mean,,, you are a dick sometimes but i dont hate you, at least you do your work”

he shrugged his shoulders, loosening his necktie as he leaned back into the office chair

“a dick, huh? maybe i try to push you away so you wont catch the same feelings i have for you”

you snapped your head towards him. you couldnt lie, he was attractive and at this point you were desperate

“kiss me then” you said simply causing the boy to immediately cup your cheeks, latching onto your lips as if he’d waited for this moment for forever

more tongue, wants you to feel him ;))

lets just say,,, he made it up to you

Hyunjin

i get this like,,, youthful vibe,,, like the two of you were childhood friends

and,,, eventually you catch feelings for him which you hate because,,, you dont want to ruin this friendship

every time somebody mistook you for a couple the both of you would make retching noises, mocking each other

“you think my standards are that low?” hyunjin says pointing at you to which you raise your fist

“hwang hyunjin, you’re dead meat”

but,,, he was only in denial, it was his childhood friend afterall

probably happened at one of those night where your mom was working late and you invited hyunjin to keep you company, him bringing kkami as well.

“dont fucking burn the pizza, hyunjin” you say, petting kkami until the little rascal ran away from your lap

“if you helped it wouldnt be burned” he replies as he comes out with two plates with the pizza burned on the edges

“but if they taste bad you can always taste my lips” he jokes and you look at him with a disgusted facial expression before laughing

“i bet they taste even worse then your mess of a pizza, i would like to see you try to even get me to peck you” you scoff and hyunjin rolls his eyes, sitting next to you on the sofa

“try it then” he taunts but is taken aback when you actually kiss him, your nose accidentally brushing against his as you purse your lips, hyunjin timidly using his tongue to test the waters

he wanted it so bad and he finally got it >:(( he could swear that he heard fireworks going off in his brain

a moment of silence appeared until hyunjin cockily uttered:

“so,,, did they taste better?”

Jisung

the “i met you at a party and made out with you drunk”

he stared at you the entire night, catching glances while you looked away and the music blared in the nightclub that was packed with people.

you ordered a drink at the bar, tapping your fingers on the oak surface where you rested your arms, suddenly somebody bumped into you

turning around you saw jisung and you sighed, thinking his behaviour was starting to get annoying

“oh its you again” you said loud for him to hear as he sat down next to you, having a annoying smirk plastered on his lips

“looks like you are having fun, let me guess,,, you’re trying to get over your ex” jisung says, leaning his elbow against the bar and you glared at him because it was true

you scoffed, avoiding his question and instead sipping on the sour drink you had in your hands, trying to forget everything

he was attractive which only pissed you off even more, as if you hadnt had enough pretentious assholes in your life

the glass slammed against the table as you put it down harshly, gazing into the boys dark brown eyes

“alright, deal. make me forget then since you think you know everything about me” you stated to which jisung raised his eyebrow

the palm of his hand was firmly placed on the bar as he leaned in to kiss you, feeling the bitter liquour hitting his tastebuds as your tongues crashed against each other

it felt,,, freeing. you swung your arms around his neck, wanting him closer to your body

by the way he was kissing you, you could tell that he was there for the same reason as you. a sloppy and heated kiss to fill your thoughts with something other than your ex

safe to say that the kiss progressed ;))))

Felix

aaah cutie boyfriend that is just too shy to even give you a kiss like 3 months into the relationship (OK DONT ATTACK ME NOW, TAKE YOUR TIME, NO RUSH YOU GUYS)

he is shy with pretty much everything, it was only recently he could hold your hand without his heart jumping out of his chest.

it was a simple date night! takeout and games at his place

you layed your head in his lap as you watched him finish up the game that you had given up on a long time ago

he shifted awkwardly in his seat, not used to being so close to such a pretty person before

“ah- fuck! i lost again,,,” he says in defeat, his head rolling backwards before a frustrated sigh escaped his lips

“you did well felix! look how far you got!” you say, pointing towards the score on the screen but not getting his attention.

you sat up, looking at him for a moment as his eyelashes lightly draped over his closed eyes, cheeks speckled with freckles

you couldnt help yourself, he looked so angelic despite being defeated and so you leaned in, lacing your fingers with his and softly placing your lips against his

he opened his eyes in panic before being swallowed by the fluffy feeling of having your lips to himself, he giggled before stroking your cheek as he tilted his head, almost setting a rhythm to the sweet kiss

felix started laughing shyly, cheeks tinged with red as he hid his face with a pillow

“but you won my kiss!” you said through a smile causing felix to blush even more

Seungmin

its like,,, maybe,,, your third or fourth date??

this one is more chill than the previous ones that were at like some fancy restaurang because hello dandy puppy boy wants class

but this one was like a stroll down the night streets and eating ice cream in the middle of the summer

both of you were casually dressed, holding hands as butterflies bubbled in your stomach from the contact

his hand is all warm and it engulfs yours >:(

you look at all the pretty sights of the night, eventually climbing up to some like high point and looking down at all the lights that blinked

after a good 1 1/2 hours of walking your legs were starting to ache and so you both sat down on the swings of a desolate playground, swinging gently with your legs dangling

“i dont understand how you’re able to,,, even be friends with me,,, or whatever we are,,”

seungmin hummed, looking up into the night sky

“i promise y/n, i will be your,,, friend but,,,”

you looked at him as he said “but”, imagining the worst

“i dont wanna be friends, i wanna be more than a friend to you”

his eyes twinkled as he stood up and stood infront of you, grabbing your hand

you slowly looked up at him, his figure standing in the way of the moon as the two of you shared a long gaze, his eyes as sweet as honey, dripping with pure adoration

you pulled him closer by the hand and slowly he inched to your lips, the distance between you minimizing as his face tilted to the right, a delicate and sugary kiss landing on your tastebuds from the ice cream from earlier.

your heart skipped a beat, the slightest sound of lips smacking

“i think i love you y/n” he whispered close to your lips after pulling away.

Jeongin

like,,, uni buddies!

both being med students meant late study night, usually in school

there’s papers and diagrams laid out all over the tables and floors along with a bunch of energy drink cans, some scribbles on the whiteboard

the two of you were friends and met in uni and everyone had always nagged at you for not going after him since he was everything someone ever wanted

you always said that you were friends and that you couldnt imagine being in a relationship with jeongin

but studying with him alone into the deep night felt different, many times you couldnt concentrate when he looked so cute sitting right beside you

being close friends, there was nothing weird about hugging or leaning against each other and so you leaned against his shoulder and yawned as the cozy boy was rewriting some notes.

“one hour left y/n and then- then we can go hoooome!”

you giggled as you looked at him and he diverted his attention from his papers to you, his lips only mere inches from yours

you didnt know what the fuck you were doing and neither did jeongin, it was late and the both of you were tired from studying for finals

and so your lips drew closer until they clashed, feeling a tension that you’ve never felt with him before

he’s definitely a shy,,, kisser?? not too much tongue since he doesnt know how LMAO so its like soft >:((

didnt know what to do when he pulled away, looking around the room or covering his blushing face with his hands but when you hug him he hugs you back

maybe even coming to terms that he does have feeling for you,,, and so do you~

#stray kids fluff #skz fluff #stray kids headcanons #skz headcanons

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aethelflaedladyofmercia · 3 years

Text

Twelve Months - Good Omens fanfic

Happy 31st Anniversary of Good Omens! :D

To celebrate this momentous occasion, I have posted a slightly-sad, slightly-sweet Wake the Snake fic on AO3, because our demon has been napping for a whole Twelve Months, and sometimes Angel gets a little lonely!

Thank you all for another fantastic year in this fandom!

Twelve months.

Aziraphale pushed open the door to Crowley’s flat, a simple shopping bag tucked under his arm.

The lights were still off, the curtains drawn in the awful empty room he called a study. Nothing had changed.

He passed through the enormous, rotating section of wall and into the solarium. This was still bright—many of the plants flourishing despite being unattended so long, despite clearly not having enough water. A few had started flowering. They waved their branches at him as he entered, perking up eagerly.

The angel waved back, but first he peeked into Crowley’s bedroom.

He was still where Aziraphale had left him, on his last visit a month before. Bright red hair spilled across black pillows, grown into a stringy mop. Duvet pulled up to his messily-bearded chin. One hand curled up beside him on the bed.

Still asleep.

With a sigh, Aziraphale crossed over to the plants, who greeted him excitedly, unfurling their newest leaves, a few vines hanging down to brush his face.

“Hello, my lovelies. How are you all doing? Look at you, grown at least a foot since I saw you, I’m sure. And you! What beautiful pink buds. Very impressive.”

He didn’t think Crowley would approve of how he spoke to the plants, but the poor things had been so distraught on his first visit, straining to keep upright, trying to hide their yellowing leaves. So much healthier now, much happier for just a bit of attention. He picked up the watering can and gave them all a quick splash. He didn’t know how much water each needed, but it didn’t seem to matter.

“You keep it up, dears. I’ll be back before you know it.”

Picking up his shopping bag again, Aziraphale headed down the hall to the kitchen. The kettle sat on the island where he’d left it, and he quickly refilled it and set it to boil. While he waited, he pulled his latest creations from the bag: a small pumpkin spice cake from a recipe he’d been perfecting since fall, a lemon coconut cake, and a few apple cinnamon muffins.

Two plates—a muffin for each, a slice of the coconut cake for himself and the pumpkin spice for Crowley.[1] The rest went into the refrigerator, where they would never go bad or stale.

Aziraphale put the plates onto a tray, along with forks and napkins. Next he found two mugs and pulled the little tin of his second-favorite tea out of the bag just as the kettle boiled.

For himself, a teaspoon of the expertly blended leaves, steeped for exactly three minutes, resulting in a pale brown tea with a slightly spicy aroma. For Crowley, he dropped a tea bag into boiling water and let it sit until it was almost black.[2]

He carried the tray back to the solarium and selected a bright red-and-gold tulip that was nearly vibrating in its eagerness to be noticed. A moment to assure the other plants that they were still doing fabulously—particularly a self-conscious little succulent that had rather drooped over the winter but was making a fine recovery—and he once more headed into Crowley’s bedroom.

Crowley had rolled over, and now sprawled on his back, sleeping soundly. He’d apparently kicked a bit, too, as the blanket had slid down past his stomach. Aziraphale smiled as he set the tray on the chair he’d brought in some months ago and got to work.

“It’s wonderful to see you again, dear,” he started cheerfully, carefully rearranging the objects on the little bedside table. “I have a few things for you again, I hope you don’t mind.” Just enough space to slide the mug and the little plate. Perfect.

“I received a package from Tadfield again. Everyone wrote a note and then gathered them all together, really quite clever. They’re all doing well, if a bit bored.” The table was nearly overflowing with little items now, brought in by Aziraphale to cheer the place up. Framed pictures of their human friends, quarantining with their families, clustered in one corner so tightly you could hardly see them anymore.

He pulled the latest out of the shopping bag. “Anathema has started a garden,” he explained, pausing to show the photograph to Crowley’s sleeping form. It showed the witch, kneeling outside her little cottage, working on growing several rows of herbs. “I got the impression she was off to a rough start, but she hopes to send us some mint in the next package. Although Newt warned me not to expect too much, as they’d already forgotten which patch is mint and which is oregano.” He set the picture with the others, and slid the potted tulip alongside it. “I’m sure she could use some advice from you, when you’re ready to share.”

“Nnnnh.” Aziraphale spun eagerly, but no, just Crowley shifting in his sleep again, rolling onto his side.

The angel paused to pull the duvet back up to Crowley’s chin, tugging it straight and smoothing a hand down his back. In a way, his friend was nearly unrecognizable, with that hair and ridiculous beard, but in another way looked the same as ever. That was always Crowley’s way, of course, constantly changing yet somehow always the same.

He lingered, taking in the shape of that face, leaning close, lips hovering above his cheekbone—

Aziraphale pulled back, quickly digging into his bag again. “Oh! Ah, the, um, the children have been making projects for their art class. This past month was sculpture, and they sent us some. Look!” He pulled out four little figures of oven-baked clay. “Ah, young Wensleydale has made a very clever model of a train car. Brian’s is…abstract.” He turned the next a few different ways. “And Pepper’s is, ah, either a very complex symbolic representation of the Patriarchy, or…a troll, I think.” They just fit on the edge of the table, all in a line, a very mismatched tableau. The fourth, on the end, was the best, in Aziraphale’s opinion. “Adam made a little Dog, and it’s very well done, don’t you think?” The canine figure posed with one leg raised and head cocked, ready to play, but the shadow it cast was just a little too large, too ominous, for such a small creature.

With a sigh, Aziraphale shifted the row this way and that. “I sent a letter to Warlock, over in America, but haven’t heard back since Christmas. I believe they’re very busy with something. Politics. You know how it is.” When the Dowlings had left England, they’d planned to return for a visit the following summer. A global pandemic had had other ideas.

“In any case, that just leaves Tracy and Shadwell. I understand he’s decided to hate the concept of literacy this month, so no word on how his war with the squirrels is going. And Tracy has declared she will spend the summer making a fairy garden. I thought her sketches looked very promising, and she promised to send us an update in June. I’m sure you’ll find it charming.”

“Hrrrrm.” Crowley sank under the duvet, nestling down a little deeper. Aziraphale smiled, settling into the chair with his plate and mug.

“Things are loosening up again,” he explained, taking a bite of cake. Delicious, if he said so himself. Sharp and not too sweet. “People are getting vaccinated, shops opening up. It’s really a lovely breath of fresh air, at least when you’re not wearing a mask.” A long sip from his mug, then he held it, fingers tapping. “It’s been nice walking through the park again, just in time for the baby ducks. And that record shop at the corner, they’ve had some wonderful new additions. Which reminds me.”

Putting aside his mug, Aziraphale dug through the bag again and pulled out a handful of square plastic cases. “They had a whole shipment of those little records the Bentley likes. Modern music. I picked out the ones with the rudest names. I’m sure you’ll enjoy them.” He pulled out the first disc and placed it atop Crowley’s phone. The device blinked in confusion a few times, then obediently copied all the music.

“Of course, it’s not all good news.” He stacked the rest of the discs atop the phone and returned to his tea. “Reopening means the customers are coming back. Yesterday, this one individual spent almost an hour browsing the same three shelves. And then he tried to make off with one of my books.” Another long sip. “Granted, he offered to pay, but still. What sort of establishment does he think I’m running?”

Aziraphale paused, waiting for Crowley to respond, not that he ever did. The demon’s eyelids moved a little, but no more.

Sighing, Aziraphale turned to his muffin. “You know, many times in the last year, I’ve wished you were there. Particularly during reopening phases. You could have posed as a customer, and then I’d be able to tell people I was at the capacity limit. Oh, and the people who would call to try and buy my rarest books. Collectors, or so they claimed, but then they just turn around and sell to anyone for twice the price! I’m sure you’d have some biting things to say about such people.” He smiled at Crowley’s sleeping face. “I’ve missed that, and your jokes. Rather more than I expected to.”

When his plate and tea were finished, Aziraphale set them on the floor and reached again into the bag. “Now, I have been attempting to teach my computer how to use the internet. I think it’s going quite well. Adam and his friends gave me a ‘homework assignment’ to find articles on recent news events, and I made the most wonderful discovery. Did you know that humans now share their news through humorous pictures? I printed out my favorites to show you.”[3]

He flicked through a few. “Ah, to start with, a few months ago there was this American politician with amusing mittens who showed up everywhere for a few days. It was extremely droll.” He leaned closer, holding them up for Crowley to see. “Ah, a few more from America. The murder hornets arrived, though by that point everyone had forgotten them. The election became increasingly confusing, and it all ended in a parking lot. For a little while everything was ‘This-or-That Total Landscaping,’ and before that everything was cake.” He showed a few extremely clever illusions. “I did try to make my own, but couldn’t manage it without miracles, which I felt was cheating.”

Really, leaning like this was starting to strain his back. Aziraphale shifted to sit on the edge of the bed, the better to share his pictures. “Ahhh. Also for a time everyone’s calendars were stuck on ‘March.’ And then earlier this year, a group of people learned how the stock market works, but sadly not how to spell it. The whole situation seemed very much like the sort of thing you’d be involved in. And…Oh, this angel from a television show was sent to Hell for…reasons.” He glanced at the shape beside him. Crowley had curled in slightly, pressing against Aziraphale’s back. “Yes. Various reasons. And then this musician, I suppose, went on his own. Both had many people extraordinarily upset.”

The next few images would really tickle Crowley, if he could actually see them. “The biggest news is that a large ship got stuck sideways in that canal in Egypt. Stopped half the world’s shipping for a few days while they dug it out! I’m sure you would have liked that very much. Exactly your sort of trouble. The humans were all very excited.”

The final photo was another of the ship, an image Aziraphale had made himself, printing out a blank version and writing on it in felt-tip pen. The hull of the enormous ship was labeled, “An eternity putting up with the tedious bureaucracy and frequently conflicting commands of my superiors until I begin to doubt my own judgement and sanity,”[4] while the small digger working steadily beside it was “Crowley.”

Aziraphale watched the demon beside him, not really expecting a reaction, certainly not getting one. He reached over, brushing brilliant hair back from Crowley’s forehead. “I think you’d have had rather a lot of fun last year. Or perhaps you’d have been upset you could only watch from a distance. Or…”

He’d leaned much closer than he’d intended, hovering just above Crowley’s forehead.

“Well!” Aziraphale stumbled to his feet. “I suppose that’s just about everything.” He picked up the tray from where he’d rested it on the floor, starting to re-load it with everything he’d brought in. Crowley’s cake and tea sat untouched, as always, but Aziraphale wouldn’t dream of skipping them. “We’re all very optimistic for the summer. Two months and everything should be just…just tickety-boo. Perhaps we can go for that picnic soon, if…yes…”

They’d made such plans for 2020. All the things they would do now they were free. Plans, and other thoughts carried in their minds, possibilities that would play out in their own time. Not too fast, just a slow, steady exploration of everything they could be…

“Well. Pleasant as that idea is, best not to—to plan too much, as the previous year made fools of us all. I just…” He turned away from the tray and watched Crowley sleep, hands clasped before him. “I miss you terribly. And I wish…very much…”

He picked up his shopping bag. One item still inside. The same one he’d been carrying for months, trying to find the courage to bring it out.

With a shaking hand, he reached in and drew forth a soft hand-made doll. He’d spent much of the winter on it. Simple white cotton for the head and body, wooly curls for the hair, and stiff white lace for the wings. Dressed in waistcoat and bowtie made from Aziraphale’s favorite tartan.

He still wasn’t sure why he brought it. He’d stitched several little toys, particularly a lovely black-and-red serpent with gold button eyes that had watched him from the sofa since November. But this, for reasons he couldn’t articulate, this one was for Crowley.

“I, ah…” He shuffled closer, doll clutched in both hands. “I made, um…” Back to the edge of the bed, one hand fumbling across the duvet. “…thought you might like…”

Crowley’s face stood out in stark contrast to the pillow, pale skin and bright hair. Aziraphale wanted to drink it in, memorize every detail, to hold him over until next month. The curve of his nose, the sharp angle of his cheekbones. His lashes flickering as his eyes moved. His lips, pursed ever so slightly…

“Bless it, Angel, are you going to kiss me or not?”

Aziraphale gasped, pulling back from the bright gaze of slit-pupil eyes. “You—you’re awake!”

“Nnnh. Half.” Crowley shifted, head moving across the pillow, eyes threatening to shut again. “Wouldn’t miss your visit.” One hand reached out, plucked the doll from Aziraphale’s unresisting fingers. “For me?”

The angel nodded. “If…if…you like it…or I could—I could just…”

Without a word, Crowley pulled the doll under the duvet and curled up, tucking it under his chin, a faint smile on his lips.

“If you were awake you—you should have said something! I’ve been going—going off like a fool all this—oh!” Aziraphale could feel his face turning hot as he recalled a few times his tongue had been a bit too loose for propriety.

“Mmmmmh.” The golden eyes were shut again.

“Crowley?” No response. “Crowley!” Aziraphale scowled. “Anthony J. Crowley, if you’ve fallen asleep again, I swear, I’ll—”

He’d do what? The angel fumed, but what could he really threaten? To stay away? Never.

“Alright then, I suppose I’ll see you in June. I’ve had several new requests for extremely rare manuscripts and I need to go pen some responses reprimanding these vultures for their cheek. I can—”

“You can stay.”

He spun around. Crowley had one eye barely cracked open. Gently, he pulled back the duvet, showing there was just enough space for Aziraphale beside him.

“I…I couldn’t.” But he stepped forward, not back. “I have business tomorrow, things to—”

“Just tonight then.”

His fingers brushed the mattress and pulled back as if burned. “You—you don’t really mean this, you’re just talking in your sleep.”

“Nah.” Crowley settled the doll by his pillow, making space. “Why else would I give you my key?”

“I…to…water the plants?”

“They take care of themselves.” Crowley held open his arms, eyes shut once more. “I missed you, too.”

Well. What could he say to that?

Aziraphale took off his shoes and slid into bed, into Crowley's arms. They wrapped around him gently as Crowley wriggled closer. “Mmmm. Y’r softer than the doll.”

“Oh.” He’d been called soft many times, generally as a way to imply he was a failure as an angel. But just this once, it made him feel rather pleased. “Soft is good?”

“Verrrry good.” Crowley twisted a bit, trying to find a comfortable way to rest his long limbs, and finally settled curled up against Aziraphale’s chest, tucked below the angel’s chin with a leg hooked over his knees.

The angel smiled. “And you’re…you’re noodlier than a stuffed snake. Err…”

A chuckle, just a stirring of breath across his throat. “Can’t wait to hear the story behind that.” Crowley nuzzled against his shoulder with a sigh. “Good night, Angel.”

Aziraphale swept the brilliant hair back again and bent down, pressing his lips to Crowley’s forehead. A soft, gentle kiss that made his friend smile a little more broadly. “Good night, my dear.”

Crowley drifted off again, burrowing close, as the angel continued to gently tease the back of his hair. Perhaps, he thought, perhaps tomorrow's work wasn't so very urgent. Perhaps a bit of rest would do him good. And perhaps...

Well. Don't plan too much. But for the first time, Aziraphale felt a bit of optimism about the coming summer and its possibilities.

“Sleep well, Crowley.”

[1] Crowley had invented pumpkin spice, and Aziraphale assumed he must like it. In truth, Crowley despised it, and regretted every autumn how it took over the entire world. He missed apple cider season. [2] Aziraphale had suspected since the early 1950s that Crowley secretly took his tea with several lumps of sugar, but would continue to pretend he didn’t know until Crowley confessed. Considering current circumstances, that was unlikely to be any time soon. [3] Aziraphale’s fax machine, revived after over three decades of disuse, had been somewhat confused to be asked to perform any task at all, much less to print memes onto photo paper with perfectly balanced color; but like the plants and Crowley’s phone, it couldn’t stand to disappoint the angel. [4] It was possible he hadn’t quite mastered this new form of communication.

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weighty-ghosts · 3 years

Text

‘Hearts of Palms’ (wolfstar)

Hearts of Palms, by weightyghosts

“A first kiss story of pining, shameless flirtations, a heart to heart under the stars, and palm reading.”

Rating: teen

Word count: 4325

Pairing: Remus x Sirius

Published: November 9, 2020

Warnings: swearing, snogging, real talk about feelings

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27379321

Sirius Black walked out onto the deck of the Astronomy tower, gently shutting the heavy wooden door behind him. He paused to look around for a moment, breathing in the earthy scent of early Spring, before he spotted his reason for coming up here.

He couldn’t help the smile pulling at his lips at the sight of Remus Lupin. Remus was leaning against the inner wall of the tower with a plaid blanket underneath him, focused and scribbling on a scroll of parchment, a textbook in his lap to keep the paper flat.

“Hey, Rem,” Sirius called out loudly as he walked over.

Remus jumped, then cursed under his breath when he saw the big ink splotch he’d just created on his star chart.

“Shit, I thought you heard me,” Sirius said apologetically as he got closer.

“No, I didn’t,” Remus replied, smiling up at him, “You’re as quiet as Padfoot when you want to be.” He took out his wand to clear up the ink and asked, “What are you doing here?”

“Keeping you company, of course,” he shrugged nonchalantly and sat down next to Remus. Remus had permission to be up here after hours to finish his Astronomy project, which the rest of the class had done, unfortunately, on the evening of the full moon a few nights ago. Sirius technically only had an hour until he was supposed to be back at Gryffindor tower, but it’s not like he hadn’t broken one or two school rules before, and he happened to be with a Prefect who tended to look the other way when his friends got into trouble. Remus didn’t seem surprised or bothered by his presence.

Sirius stretched out his legs and crossed them at the ankle as he looked out at the breathtaking landscape in front of them. The sky was painted in brilliant shades of orange and pink from the sun, which was just setting over the grassy hills. The ghost of an incomplete moon loomed above the impressive castle turrets.

Remus was watching Sirius. The cool evening breeze brushed his inky black hair away from his face, and there was a contented smile on his mouth that Remus found very distracting. He was just wishing that Sirius would look at him the way he looked at the beautiful sunset- when he did.

“What?” Sirius asked with a quirked eyebrow, his voice soft but amused.

“Oh, er,” Remus fumbled, “It’s just not often I see you admire the finer things in life.” He smiled quickly, gesturing at the sunset, then looked away, embarrassed at being caught doing his own admiring.

Sirius tilted his head to the side as a cheeky grin spread across his face.

“You see me look in the mirror every day, Moony.”

Remus snorted and rolled his eyes.

“Prat,” he said, smacking his arrogant friend’s arm.

“You know, Remus,” Sirius continued in a haughty voice, “I’ve been appreciating the finer things in life since the first time I saw my reflection in something shiny.”

“Really, Padfoot?” Remus put his ink and parchment down beside him and tried very hard to keep a straight face, “What, when you were a baby?”

“Yes,” Sirius laughed as Remus shoved him again, now attempting to tackle him onto the ground, “I distinctly remember looking in the mirror and thinking, ‘Who is that stunning baby staring back at me with those dreamy-’ Ow!”

Remus had elbowed him in the side.

Struggling to level a threatening glare at the werewolf, he threw his force into flipping Remus over on his back.

“Ha,” he exclaimed triumphantly as he looked down at his friend, successfully pinned beneath him.

“Get off!” Remus cried half-heartedly, trying to squirm out from under Sirius, but the boy on top had clamped down on Remus’ arms above his head.

“Nope, I’m forcing you to appreciate this finer thing, Moonshine,” said Sirius, wiggling his eyebrows.

Remus rolled his eyes again and stilled.

“Yes, yes,” he said, voice dripping with sarcasm, “you’re the most gorgeous creature to ever grace the halls of Hogwarts and we’re all lucky to have the pleasure of looking at your stunning form every day.”

Sirius gave a fake flattered gasp.

“Such a charmer, Mr. Lupin,” he said, batting his lashes provocatively, “and having you in this compromising position… One could almost swoon.”

“Who says I’m the one in a compromising position, Mr. Black?”

Sirius blinked at the wicked gleam in Remus’ eye, and Remus took advantage of his hesitation, rolling over with lightning speed and surprising strength so that he was now on top of Sirius.

“You were saying?” Remus asked innocently.

“Definitely swooning,” Sirius beamed.

Remus knew he was joking, but something in Sirius’ eyes made his stomach contract in a not-entirely-unpleasant way.

They were definitely looking at each other for too long now.

“I have to work on my star chart,” Remus said, a little embarrassed at how unsteady his voice sounded.

“And is my ‘stunning form’ distracting you from doing that?” Sirius asked in a low voice, with a wink.

“Right, I’m fairly certain I’m immune to your form after seeing too bloody much of it over the years,” Remus teased as he climbed off Sirius and moved over to prop himself up against the wall again.

“So you’ve been looking, Moony?”

“Only in my peripherals, Padfoot,” Remus replied, studiously avoiding Sirius’ eye as he picked up his book and parchment, placing them back in his lap, “You walk around the dorm starkers most of the time.”

“I like to air-dry my bits,” Sirius stated, as if that were a normal thing to do, and sat up facing Remus, leaning back on his hands. “You’re welcome to look, you know,” he added with a smile that should be illegal.

Remus scowled at Sirius, but couldn’t hide the rosy warmth that had spread along his cheeks.

“You’re quite cute when you blush, Moonshine.”

“I am not-”

Sirius’ smile grew even wider and Remus knew it was because his blush had deepened. Remus looked back down at his parchment and made a point of carefully flattening out the creases.

“It’s generally not considered polite to point that out to someone. It only ever makes them blush more,” he said in a measured tone.

“Yes, and as I’ve just told you how very cute you look when you blush, why should I refrain from making that happen?”

Remus glared at him through narrowed eyes. The dazzling smile on the other boy’s face did nothing to help his pink cheeks.

“I need to focus,” he said, looking back down at his paper and dipping the tip of his quill in the pot of ink.

“Stars aren’t out yet, Moons.”

“I can see that, Pads,” Remus replied with the patient air of someone speaking to a child, “But I have to finish setting up the chart so that all I have to do, when the stars do come out, is plot them.”

“Okay then,” Sirius said pleasantly, taking off his jacket and bunching it under his head as he lay down next to Remus.

“What are you doing?”

“Settling in,” Sirius replied, finding a comfortable position, “I told you, I’m here to keep you company.”

“You don’t need to…”

“I know I don’t need to, Remus."

Remus eyed him for a moment, biting the inside of his cheek, and then went back to work.

After a few minutes of pretending to doze, Sirius turned his head minutely and looked at Remus through his lashes. He sighed inwardly at his oblivious, beautiful friend.

The sunset gleamed off the werewolf’s scars, giving them an other-worldly shimmer, and his lips parted as his focus settled on his work. His shoulders were more rigid than usual, probably still stiff from his recent furry transformation, but he looked content, apparently enjoying what he was concentrated on.

Sirius’ eyes flicked down to Remus’ hands. He loved watching those long fingers, delicate but strong. His mind wandered against his will to images of what those hands might be capable of, and where exactly he wanted them, especially all alone up here in the Astronomy tower. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, pushing those forbidden thoughts away.

Sirius had been shamelessly flirting with Remus since the start of term, which, granted he did with many people, but he recently realized how much he actually enjoyed making Remus blush, or the way Remus would shake his head and try not to smile at his antics, or even the way Remus would get exasperated with him and give a long drawn-out sigh. He realized he looked forward to those moments more than Quidditch or even pranking the Slytherins. Which was why he’d come up here tonight; just to be around Remus and try to make him laugh or roll his eyes.

The problem was that he didn’t know how Remus felt. But sometimes...Remus would look away from him too quickly, or not quickly enough, and he could swear there was something between them. Something intense and exciting.

Eventually, Sirius found the dimming sky and melodic scratching of the quill soothing, and he drifted off to sleep.

Sirius opened his eyes to the clicking sound of a telescope being collapsed, and was briefly disoriented by the complete darkness surrounding him. He blinked rapidly and looked down at the plaid blanket covering him.

“You looked cold,” Remus explained in a kind voice, as he packed his homework and things into his bag.

“Oh, thanks, Rem,” Sirius replied, sitting up and stretching his arms over his head, “Got your chart finished?”

“Yup,” Remus replied, “Sirius is particularly bright tonight,” he nodded at the glowing Dog Star above them.

The star’s namesake chuckled, and looked up at the sky, clearer now that his eyes had adjusted, and gloriously speckled with millions of stars and planets.

“Do you want to head back to the dorm now?” Remus asked, “Or...do you feel like staying up here for a bit?”

Sirius was surprised at the masked vulnerability in his voice, like he was nervous Sirius wouldn’t want to stay here with him. Which was ridiculous because he would love nothing more than to lay under the stars with Remus.

“I’m happy to stay here,” he said, his lips pulling into a warm smile.

Remus smiled back and rolled his coat into a pillow, placing it under his head as he lay down beside Sirius.

Sirius’ eyes lingered on his friend for a moment, trailing over his face and long, lean body, before he flung the blanket out so it covered both of them and lay down again. He tried to keep a few inches between their bodies, but couldn’t help the length of their arms pressing together.

“Would you ever go up there?” Remus queried after a quiet minute, “In space?”

“...Are you daft?” Sirius asked incredulously. Brooms were one thing, floating up to the heavens was another.

“The muggles do it,” Remus said, chortling, “Don’t you remember learning about rocket ships?”

“Aren’t those the ones that go under water?”

“No, you twat, those are called submarines.”

“Oh. Yeah, that makes more sense.”

Remus shook his head and they both laughed.

“Do you want to go into space?” Sirius asked.

“I don’t know…” Remus said, turning his gaze back to the stars, “No, probably not. It seems cold, and dark. And very lonely.”

Sirius watched Remus as he said that. They were so close to each other he could see the night sky reflected in the other boy’s hazel eyes. He felt sad all of a sudden and looked away.

“I don’t need to go up into the sky for that.”

Remus frowned at the somber and surprisingly blunt statement.

“Are you lonely, Padfoot?” He asked softly.

Sirius was about to brush off the question with a joke about how there were plenty of people at this school who could take care of his loneliness, but when he looked into Remus’ eyes and saw the concern and tenderness there, he found himself speaking truthfully.

“Sometimes,” he answered in a low voice, “I mean, I’m not alone. But sometimes... I don’t know, it’s stupid.”

“I’m sure it’s not.”

He inhaled deeply. “Sometimes…I feel like I’m on the outside looking in, you know? Like everyone is far away, up there,” he gestured to the sky, “and I’m down here, looking at them through a telescope. And I’m so- so different from them. I’ll never escape my fucked up childhood, I’ll never be normal.” He hesitated when Remus said nothing. “Do you ever feel that way?”

“All the time,” Remus said with a kind smile, which Sirius returned. “But I usually feel like I’m floating above everyone,” he continued, “looking down at them from afar… Watching them live normal lives that aren’t controlled by the moon, and I’m worried I’m going to drift further and further away. Like a loose balloon.”

Sirius couldn’t resist saying, “I knew you always thought you were above us.”

Remus poked him in the side.

“That’s not what I meant!”

“I know, I know,” he chuckled.

They looked at each other for a while, both pondering the other’s words.

“How do you think people stop feeling like that?” Remus asked, his words just above a whisper.

“I don’t know,” Sirius replied honestly, “but if I find a way to tether you to the ground, I’ll let you know.”

Remus breathed a soft laugh.

“Okay.”

He looked down and noticed Sirius’ hands resting on his chest. He had no idea what came over him, but he found himself reaching out and taking the closer hand in his.

He held it above them, turning it over slowly, feeling the smooth skin and soft hairs on the back. He traced a couple of healed-over scars that you couldn’t really see anymore.

Sirius watched Remus intently. He was surprised at first at the intimate contact, but found himself enjoying the feel of Remus’ fingers.

His warm, strong fingers.

Sirius’ pulse quickened.

Remus observed the palm he was holding, the pad of his index finger moving over rough calluses and dipping into valleys.

“Do you remember anything we learned about palm reading?” Sirius asked in a thick voice, then swallowed loudly to clear it.

“Yes,” replied Remus with a wry smile, “but it’s too dark for me to make out the lines and I don’t want to misinterpret an untimely death or seventeen children or something.”

“Seventeen children?” he scoffed, “Not likely.”

“No children for you? What, you have some growing up yourself to do first?”

“Something like that,” Sirius said, gently elbowing Remus in the ribs. “Do you want kids one day?”

Remus tensed and Sirius realized what he’d just asked.

“Fuck- I’m sorry, Rem. I know how you feel about that. I forgot- I mean, I wasn’t thinking,” he stumbled over his words, “I just meant if you ever wanted to adopt or something, but that’s- that’s not much better. Fuck.”

He wanted to kick himself. He knew Remus had a paralyzing fear of passing on his lycanthropy, and that adoption for werewolves was out of the question due to asinine Ministry regulations.

“It’s alright,” Remus said quietly, “I haven’t thought about it much.”

Which they both knew was a lie.

“Sorry, Moony,” Sirius repeated, gently squeezing the fingers still holding his hand.

Remus’ face smoothed out and he went back to his task, taking the time to feel every bone and divot of Sirius’ knuckles.

Sirius revelled in the touch. Little zaps of pleasure rushed up his arm when Remus’s fingers travelled down and brushed over the sensitive skin on his inner wrist.

After a moment, Sirius felt comfortable to continue talking, also wanting to distract his friend from the goosebumps quickly raising on his arm.

“You know, if James ever convinces Evans to have a kid, you could always nick it.”

Remus snorted.

“You could! It would almost be a public service. Can you imagine Prongs as somebody’s dad?”

They both chuckled at the image, but only half-heartedly, deep down knowing James would make a great father one day.

“Don’t worry, I would help you raise it,” Sirius added.

“Would you, now?” Remus asked with raised eyebrows.

“Yeah. I’ll be the cool, hilarious godfather and you can handle all the rubbish baby stuff.”

Remus abruptly flipped Sirius’ hand over and squinted his eyes, pretending to re-examine his palm.

“Hmm, actually I can see better now,” he said mockingly, “it says in huge flashing letters to keep Sirius Black away from all children ever- and probably puppies and kittens just to be safe.”

“Git,” Sirius laughed, reaching over with his other hand and poking Remus in the side. Remus jerked away to keep from being tickled, but Sirius was too quick, fingers digging into Remus’ ribs, making him squirm and giggle.

They stilled after a minute, a little breathless, and saw that they were still holding hands.

Remus hadn’t realized how close they were laying, but he was now acutely aware of where their thighs touched. He glanced up at Sirius and blinked, taken aback by how dark his grey eyes were, something stirring behind them. He quickly looked back down at their entwined fingers to escape the intensity.

Sirius knew he was in one of those electric moments with Remus, and it was up to him to see where it could go from here.

He twisted his wrist so he was the one holding Remus’ hand and brought it closer to his face, tracing the channels along his palm. He meant to tease Remus, make a prediction about meeting someone tall, dark, and handsome, but he was having a hard time concentrating while holding his friend’s hand so intimately.

“I predict a bright future for you, Mr. Moony,” he managed to say, his voice mostly stable.

“Oh? And what do you predict will make my future bright, Mr. Padfoot?”

“Loads of chocolate, to start-”

Remus laughed heartily, and the sound warmed Sirius’ skin as his breath blew the hair away from Sirius’ forehead.

“And tea, too much tea, some would say,” he snickered as Remus frowned at him, “Lots of laughter, of course... Happiness… Love,” his voice softened, “And me.”

“Y-You?”

“Of course. My presence makes everyone’s lives brighter.”

“Oh, right.”

“Were you not expecting my presence in your future?”

“No, no, I was.”

“Good. Plan on it, Moony,” Sirius replied with a nod.

“I’ll start preparing myself for the longevity of our friendship now,” Remus said in a serious tone, “Might take me a while to come to terms with it.”

“Oi! I don’t have to be around forever if you’re not going to appreciate me!”

“No? You’re just going to up and leave me one day?”

“Nah, you’d miss me too much. I could never do that to you.”

“Yes, how would I ever survive without a pompous, needy megalomaniac in my life?” Remus said sarcastically.

“Shut it, wolf boy. You love me.”

“Mangy mutt.”

“Hairy beast.”

They both cracked up, and Sirius was sure the dopey grin on his face looked idiotic, but he couldn’t help it. He felt like an idiot around Remus all the time lately. He didn’t know where this feeling had come from or when it started, but he knew he never wanted it to stop.

“You know I’d never leave you, right, Moony?” Sirius asked suddenly, holding on to Remus’ hand a little tighter.

“What?”

“I’ll always be there for you,” he said softly, smiling at Remus’ confused face, “Says so on your palm.”

Remus cocked an eyebrow.

“Does it?”

“Yep. Says you’re stuck with your devilishly handsome friend with the flawless body and flowing locks of raven hair.”

“So, James.”

“His hair isn’t flowing!” Sirius cried indignantly, “More like a raven’s nest, the unkempt wanker!”

“True. Must be talking about you, then.”

“As if you have any other devilishly handsome friends.”

“Pete’s alright.”

Sirius glared at him so fiercely, he had to concede.

“But you’re the handsomest, Sirius.”

“Thank you, Remus. Your palm also says you should compliment me more,” he added, pointing to an invisible spot on Remus’ hand.

“Seems to say a lot that only you can read, doesn’t it?”

“Mm,” Sirius agreed, “Also says you should bring me breakfast on Sundays.”

“Ah. Anything else?”

“Yes. Says we need to come up to the Astronomy tower alone more often.”

Remus bit his lip as he felt a blush creep up his neck. Sirius was grinning at him but there was something vulnerable about his grey eyes, and it made Remus feel equally eager and uneasy. They seemed to be in some world of their own where nothing and no one else existed for the moment, and time had stopped just so they could be here together right now.

Sirius hesitantly reached up to brush his thumb along Remus’ reddened cheek. He really did look quite cute.

Heart pounding, he took a chance and leaned in fractionally.

Remus’ eyes widened slightly in alarm and Sirius froze, worried he’d made a mistake.

But after a moment, Remus’ gaze slid down to his mouth, to the pair of lips that were now much closer to his. Sirius felt emboldened and leaned in once more to place those lips lightly on Remus’.

He drew back and Remus slowly exhaled a shaky breath.

Sirius was trying to read his face; he looked a little surprised, and a little confused, but, mostly, Sirius saw desire stirring in the werewolf’s eyes. A hot wave of his own desire hit him, like he had stepped outside from a cool room into the blaze of summer.

He closed the distance between them and pressed their lips together again. This time Remus responded, turning on his side towards Sirius so their entire bodies were touching, and breaking the hands they had still been holding to wrap an arm around Sirius’ back. Sirius smiled into Remus’ mouth, and brought one hand up to cradle his face as he tilted his own head to deepen the kiss.

Remus made a pleasant, rumbling noise deep in his chest as their tongues met, and Sirius’ mind went blank with the sounds, touches, and tastes of Remus.

Their skin felt hot and tingly wherever it connected, and Remus wanted more. As if hearing his thoughts, Sirius rolled on top of him.

Remus gasped as their hips collided and he broke the kiss, turning his head slightly, embarrassed that Sirius could now feel his growing reaction to the contact and wet kiss.

Sirius braced his weight off of Remus, concerned that he’d hurt his friend somehow. Seeing the scarlet blush on Remus’ cheeks, he smiled and bent down to place feather-light kisses on the warmed skin on either side of his nose.

“Who knew palm reading was such a turn on, eh, Moony?” Sirius teased, a little out of breath.

Remus laughed but it caught in his throat as Sirius pressed his lips to the sensitive spot on his neck beneath his ear. He bit his lip and gripped the tops of Sirius’ arms as Sirius ran his lips up his neck and along his jaw, his fingers following the same path.

Sirius leaned back to look into Remus’ eyes once more, and moved his thumb over Remus’ bottom lip to release it from his teeth.

“Don’t,” he whispered in a husky voice, “I’m quite fond of that lip now.”

Remus automatically bit his lip again to keep from moaning, but let go immediately at the scowl he got from the boy above him.

Sirius grinned and planted a quick kiss on the abused flesh, then sighed, figuring he shouldn’t push his luck with taking things any further.

He sat up, pulling Remus with him. He was about to stand when the light from the castle caught Remus’ face and he swallowed a groan. His lips were red and swollen, wet from Sirius’ saliva, his hair a little tousled. It was quite possibly the sexiest thing he’d ever seen.

“What?” Remus asked when he saw him staring, his ears turning pink.

“Do you know how bloody sexy you are?”

Remus’ eyebrows shot up in shock, but the way Sirius was looking at him sent hot blood rushing from his head to…other places, and he felt a little dizzy.

“Er, no?”

Sirius exhaled frustratingly and he yanked Remus to his feet. He leaned against the wall to steady himself as Sirius picked up Remus’ bag, throwing the strap over his shoulder, and grabbed the blanket.

Remus tried to wrap his head around the fact that he’d just snogged his best mate. His best mate who he lived with. His best mate who he’d been pining after for a year and a half.

“Was this okay?” he suddenly asked.

Sirius straightened up and met Remus’ eyes.

“Was what okay?”

“This...” Remus gestured embarrassingly between the two of them.

“You have to ask, Moony?” Sirius cocked his head to the side.

Remus didn’t answer and Sirius resisted the urge to roll his eyes as he came up close to Remus. “You know I kissed you right?”

“Yeah, but I kissed you back.”

“Well, I held your hand.”

“I held your hand first!”

“But I lay down next to you, Moony.”

“I lay down first, Padfoot!”

“I came up here-“

Remus grabbed Sirius’ face with both hands and kissed him hard, thrusting his tongue into his mouth.

He pulled back after a few glorious seconds, to look into the flustered face of his friend. Sirius blinked a few times and tried to speak, but his mind seemed to have gone curiously blank again.

“Hmm,” Remus smiled wickedly at him, “Have I finally found a way to shut Sirius Black up? I’ll have to remember that.”

He pressed his lips to him one more time, then interlocked their fingers and walked towards the staircase leading back inside the castle, trailing a thoroughly dazed Sirius behind him.

#wolfstar #wolfstar fanfiction #ao3 #wolfstar fluff #ficbyweightyghosts #this is my baby #my first published fan fic #it holds a special place in my heart #sirius is shameless #remus loves him #there's flirting #wolfstar flirting #sirius black #remus lupin #marauders

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